#see shared is like... actually something worth sharing imo

[benetnvsch]

If this mayoi update is adding the new year event I will be so fucking excited but also never translate anything ever again

[sailoryuns]

INAMORATA ─── PSH

genre. idol!sunghoon x model!f!reader | established relationship

warnings. angst, fluff (moreso towards the end), smut, accusations of cheating, hoon being lowkey toxic, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, some mentions of crying, not proofread wc -> 1.5k

ps. the position i’m referring to is this (nsfw link), i usually hate vids but this was rly good imo.

“i think we should take a break...” you admit, voice growing shakier as you spoke. this was never something you wish to say in a million years, you wanted this relationship to work more than anything. but you were at your wits end with everything, talking to sunghoon was like conversing with the wall, never fully grasping any of your concerns.

you noticed the cracks beginning to seep in the midst of six months of being with him. he would often be dishonest of his whereabouts, saying he was out late due to “work” but was actually out drinking at some bar with jake or something. it made no sense for him to lie about such trivial things but he does it without even thinking. this was supposed to be a lovely vacation in paris together but lately you’ve grown tired of feeling like you’re unappreciated. a break from each other might be the best solution in getting his act together once and for all.

sunghoon felt his whole body turn limp as you uttered those words. not only was he blindsided by your decision, but you never indicated before to him that you were ready to propose such a drastic idea. “but why though? don’t you think this is a bit random? i mean this came out of nowhere y/n, i thought everything was good between us, why are you suddenly saying this now?” his thick, bushy brows furrowed in confusion, he wasn’t letting you off this easy and you know it.

“i just think it’s for the better right now hoon, we’re both so busy. we have a lot on our plate, especially you… and this relationship is just— it’s only putting more strain on everythi-”

“are you serious y/n? do you hear yourself? i knew what i was getting myself into the day i asked you to be my girlfriend. i’m well aware that i can’t be with you 24/7, and neither can you—however, i don’t expect that anyway. all i ever wanted was to have you by my side, i want to work through the hardships with you but if you’re so willing to give up like this then… i don’t know. i don’t even know what to say to this honestly..” sunghoon couldn’t help but cut you off, once his emotions take over, all sense of logic and reasoning is thrown out the window.

he was never one to question his worth in the eyes of his partner, but you were his longest relationship, he saw you as his first and only true love. it never occurred to him that he could lose you, the possibility of this break lasting long enough to make your love fade away was a scary revelation. there had to be a way he could fix this, he couldn’t bear to be without you.

“are you seeing someone else? maybe that’s why you’ve been so distant towards me lately…” he wanted to scream for saying that out loud but at least he got it off his chest. he knows how petty it sounds but he didn’t care, he wanted you to give him answers.

“no! i’m not seeing other people, i don’t have an interest in anyone but you sunghoon. i want to do this for the sake of us, we’re clearly not where we need to be and this break could help with getting us back on track and spending time apart could be beneficial.” you try your best to articulate your words properly but he remained unconvinced, he wasn’t on board with any bit of this.

how could you even be okay with something like this? spending time away from you drove him absolutely insane, he couldn’t fathom taking a break—not from someone as important as you in his life. he just needed to remind you that the love was still there, though it may be but a dull flame, he could ignite the spark again, with the little bit of hope he had left.

the foundation of your relationship was built from shared interests, since you both are part of professions that rely heavily on looks, you refused to see each other based solely off those superficial aspects. instead you got to know each other’s minds, your core values and beliefs, what mattered to you the most. you cherished every one of those deep conversations you shared together, it was a beautiful experience, an indescribable memory that shaped your bond forever.

so why is it now that you feel this way? was he really that oblivious to everything? he should’ve done more to prevent this but now he fears it’s too late. he’s faced with the conundrum of losing you and there wasn’t much time for him to stall or ask for a chance of redemption, he couldn’t waste another second.

“fuck that,” sunghoon angrily spat, his face contorting into a look of pure disgust. “you’re not going anywhere.” he reaches out to grab your waist before you could walk away, aggressively pulling you into his chest.

no matter how much you attempt to escape his hold, he’s not letting you go in the slightest. he’s much stronger than you, could easily lift you up without breaking a sweat. there was no use in fighting, you had no choice but to give in and let this conversation go. once his lips crashed into yours, everything faded to black. as if a simple kiss was the cure-all of mending this decrepit relationship.

sunghoon’s forehead pressed against yours as he pulled away, “shhh, lye down baby,” he hushes your quiet mewls, instructing you to do as he says. “gonna make you feel so good,” his hands slid under your skirt, gently rubbing over your clothed core “you’ll forget everything.”

* :.･ﾟﾟ･ ✿

“oh my- fuckk, sunghoon!” you cry out, almost on the verge of tears just from how skilled he is, rutting your hips upwards into his mouth as he devours you whole.

the pace of his tongue is relentless, roughly lapping up all your juices like he’s the most starved man alive. you’ve lost count at the amount of times he’s already made you come undone just from his mouth alone. your body’s buzzing with titillation, all you can do is scream and clench your pussy around nothing while he fiercely sucks on your clit.

you couldn’t stop twitching, feeling yet another orgasm approaching. your legs anchored over his shoulders, unable to think or speak coherent sentences as his face was fully buried into your sloppy cunt. he relaxes his jaw a bit more, going all the way from the bottom inching further up as he comes back in contact with your puffy clit. at any given moment it feels as if your heart’s about to stop.

“hoon-” your heads thrown back into the pillow, digging your nails into his shoulder blades from how overly sensitive you are. “n-need to cum.. can feel it. m’so close.” it surprises you when you’re able to even express such words.

a low grunt can be heard underneath, sunghoon loves hearing you— it’s arguably the best part about going down on you. the hand that wasn’t occupied went straight to gripping a fistful of his ebony hair, continuously moaning his name so loud that you genuinely feel bad for whomever the unlucky people that got to hear this.

just when you thought it couldn’t get anymore intense, he slips 2 of his slender fingers inside, making you gasp from the overwhelming sensation. flashes of white invade your vision, violently shaking as your lips form an “o” in the throes of ecstasy. sunghoon knows your body so well that this is nothing for him, he’s got it all down to a simple science. no one knows your body like he does, and especially no one can make you cum as hard as he can.

“go ahead, make a mess for me baby,” he strongly encourages, picking up his pace as his digits fuck into you faster. “just gonna clean it up with my tongue all over again.”

your eyes roll back to the depths of oblivion, feeling an out of body experience when reaching your climax. a string of curses leaves your shaky breath, limbs trembling and faint tears stain your flushed cheeks. sunghoon slows his movements, rubbing his thumb over your clit gently to make you even more sensitive. you love the way he calls you “good girl” and how proud the look on his face becomes while you ride out your orgasm on his fingers. he doesn’t stop showering you with compliments, only ramping up his affection as he plants fleeting kisses to your thighs, hips, and stomach.

once he’s finally come back up for air you grab his face to pull him into your lips again. moaning in his mouth while getting a taste of yourself was probably the hottest thing sunghoon’s ever witnessed.

“can’t believe this is all mine.” sunghoon whispers against you, gently massaging your aching thighs. “i love you so much, baby.”

“love you too hoon.” you instantly say back, feeling more at ease now that things are somewhat back to normal.

maybe a break isn’t necessary after all, how else would you be able to have such earth shattering orgasms?

- 完 ♡︎

[transmutationisms]

this is probably shaped by my limited frame of reference, but im really fascinated by witnessing the real-time development of adhd as a diagnosis. people attribute so many symptoms to it now or maybe they always did? i was wondering if you have any thoughts on what is the use of adhd specifically as a category within psychiatry. I'm esl so sorry for any confusing wording

no you're right imo; diagnostic categories are always somewhat in flux ofc but ADHD is one that has seen a particularly pronounced shift in the last couple decades. obviously this is multifactorial but my observation goes something along these lines:

'hyperactivity' has been dx'd in children since about the 1950s (also when Ritalin hit the market) but the ADHD dx doesn't really take off until the 90s (also when Adderall, a 2nd-gen reformulation of the 'obesity' drug Obetrol, hit the market). so, it's not all that surprising that 20 years later you see increased patient awareness of the diagnosis, increased popular interest in it, and shifting / expanding ideas of what it means and what ADHD 'is'. it's a relatively young dx.

part of the reason it's young is because it's basically a 'biopsychiatric' dx, meaning it diagnoses certain behaviours as being a 'brain problem' rather than having social causes or context. in practice this is complicated because psychs do use pharmacological approaches in conjunction with psychodynamic ones all the time; nevertheless, the central promise of DSM ADHD and its pharmaceutical treatments has consistently been that the ADHD subject has a physiological, neurological disorder / dysfunction / aberration, and that the drug treatments on the market fix it. that none of this is actually empirically supported is conceptually inconvenient and entrenched by the research process.

the biopsychiatric narrative is worth paying attention to because the context here is one in which it has become commonly accepted that behavioural 'disorders' and affective distress of various kinds can be, basically, either of pure biological origin, or else Your Fault. in the case of childhood hyperactivity, Your Fault historically also included Your Mother's Fault; part of the reason many mothers embraced Ritalin in the 50s and 60s was because the proffered pharmaceutical narrative explicitly challenged the idea that these mothers had done something 'wrong' to result in their (mostly) sons exhibiting disruptive and hyperactive behaviour.

this dichotomy of biology vs personal failing is very overtly present in quite a bit of discourse around ADHD today. if it's my brain being 'wrong' or different, then it's not something I've done wrong but a disease with a simple chemical fix. in this context I don't think it's surprising at all that a lot of popular and patient conceptions of ADHD have seen a considerable widening over the past few decades. often people like to blame this on pharmaceutical companies, and it's true that industry benefits from these discourses and frequently invests in them (eg, via instruments like ADDitude mag). however, that's a pretty simplistic explanation on its own and doesn't really account for the ways in which patients and potential patients also find this diagnostic category personally useful, for reasons ranging from identity-formation to the desire to access prescription amphetamines. ADHD increasingly shows up as a biologised explanation for behaviours ranging from 'eating too many sweets' to 'postural sway' and so on. you can see in such examples how invoking the idea of an aberrant ADHD brain is both reassuring to people who have been made to feel ashamed of certain behaviours, and provides a sense of shared identity and community with others.

all of this is to say: I don't find it surprising at all when I see a relative broadening of notions of ADHD, almost always expressed in biological terms (the 'ADHD brain' operates differently, 'seeks dopamine', causes this or that). ADHD is in some ways a particularly blatant distillation of this general trend in popular psychiatric discourses, for reasons relating to expectations about childhood and child behaviour, and the historical and present relationship between the ADHD label and the regulation of amphetamines. but much of what's happening with ADHD in terms of popular discourses about it can also be seen with many, many other psychiatric diagnoses, to varying extents and in various ways.

my experience writing about ADHD on this website leads me to close by explicitly stating the following: I do not think any ADHD behaviours / symptoms are people's 'fault' or an individual failing; I do not think using drugs for any reason is morally bad or needs to be justified; the fact that I do not think ADHD is a 'brain disease' does not mean I think people are 'making it up' or exaggerating wrt any difficulties they experience personally, professionally, emotionally, &c.

[ninjagobythenumbers]

Bechdel Testing Ninjago

So, a little while ago I did the Bechdel test on Ninjago because I've always seen the show as sort of an interesting case study in how women are portrayed in cartoons. Of course, I'm aware the Bechdel test originated as a joke and something passing the Bechdel test doesn't make it feminist/not. Rather, or for me at least, it's an indication of how deficient female representation can be at an aggregate scale. As a way to analyze Ninjago, I feel it works as it shows how female representation over the course of the show. If you're interested I'll now discuss my thoughts on how the analysis went season by season. DISCLAIMER: I did this for fun.

The pilot was easy. Nya's the only one, so test failed across the board. The first episode that passed the test was when Jay's parents came to visit. Yay Edna! Mystake does show up in episode 7 but, I don't count it as she has not yet been named. 12&13 had a kid's mom in a bus which I decided was enough cus hey, Mom's a name she uses.

Here's where we really get going. Patty Keys, their real estate agent continues to show up through seabound as a background character, which is pretty cool imo. Episode 5, Mystake finally gets named. Episode 6 was huge for my chart as it's the introduction of Misako. You'd think episode 7 is when her and Nya talked but that's actually when Nya and Gayle had a lil convo. From then on I spent the episodes just staring at the Nya and Misako thinking "talk to her talk to her talk to her." Fortunately, when they did speak, Nya and Misako would be discuss like science, maps, and fate of the world so I never ran into a problem with rule 3. That is, until Rebooted.

The good news is Pixal's here so it'll be years before we fail rule 1 again. The bad news is we've got a love triangle so goodbye rule 3. Nya actually talked to her student, Sally, and Pixal quite often but it was so often about Jay or Cole so I would just be scouring the episode for a single exchange where they talked about anything else. During the Tournament, Nya, Pixal, Skylor, and Misako were all in different groupings and it was rare that Tox or Camille would say something so no rule 2/3 successes until late season.

The good news is, the love triangle is over so we're back to rule 2 usually meaning rule 3. The bad news is, Pixal's in Zane's head so we're back to hoping Misako and Nya say something to eachother. Nya usually shared her scenes with Wu, Ronin, and Jay during these seasons so chances were few and far between. However, unlike the first few seasons where the default was male, we're now getting some female henchmen (Bansha and Dogshank) so that made things easier.

Thank you for being in Day of the Departed Edna Walker. Early Hands of Time was tough because Nya, Misako, and Commander Macchia were rarely in the same scenes. In the latter half of the season though, we thankfully see the return of Pixal. Maya also helped us with some wins.

What a breath of fresh air. Thanks to Harumi & Ultraviolet's introduction, Pixal's return, Mystake's upgrade to a reoccuring character, and Nya & Misako's continued support, failing even rule 3 is pretty rare during the Oni Trilogy. We run into some complications during Hunted because though we have Skylor and the aforementioned characters in Ninjago and Faith & Jet Jack in the First Realm, sometimes people don't talk to eachother. And that's ok. Overall, smooth sailing.

Ah??!? What happened. Worry not. I realized this was, in part, because the Oni Trilogy had 20 minutes worth of chances for women to speak to eachother, these were only 10 minute episodes. So, for the sake of comparable units of analysis, I considered each pair of episodes to be 1 episode. I'll show both charts until DR.

It looks a little better, but it's still not at Oni Trilogy levels. Still, I'd be curious to see what the test would look like if I dissected the earlier episodes into 10 minute chunks because it's probably not a great sign if 10 v 20 minutes makes such a big difference. Ok, proceeding. The Fire Chapter was usually pretty successful because Pixal, Aspheera, or Nya would usually end up talking at one point or another. Gayle even helped at one point. The Ice chapter usually achieved successes through Nya talking to Sorla. In one episode, I counted the Preminent's roars as conversation with Pixal. The Ice Chapter had quite a few failures largely because, as in previous seasons, all the women were split up.

Despite the fact that Nya was one of the longest lived ninja, Prime Empire has total failures at levels not seen since before season 2. This is largely because for the most part, Pixal and Nya are never in the same episode. Racer 7 helps but she was only there for a bit. I should point out that I feel like the 10 minute era is really when Pixal starts feeling like part of the team to me. She's always part of homebase meetings and always plays a key part in missions. Alas, if she's not in episodes with Nya, that's not going to show up on my chart. It's a reminder of the fact this test doesn't show substance.

Master of the Mountain is similar to the other seasons of its era. The fact the 10 minute era tended to show its plots episode by episode (ex: Ep 3 = Plot A, Ep 4 = Plot B, Ep 5 = Plot C) rather than all in one really takes a toll on the test. For the most part, Nya and Vania were our only chances for success and it was rare they'd share an episode. We also had the rare rule 3 failure with the Queen of the Munce episode. Thanks Jay. The Island only had Nya until they found Misako, so it was struggling even more.

It feels right to see all green when it's a Nya season. In the beginning of Seabound, they put Nya, Pixal, and Maya on a boat together and by jove it made things easy. Late season was a bit trickier because Nya was on her own journey. Crystalized had Skylor, Pixal and some ressurected villains saving the day. Late Crystalized is the way it is because it had so, so many different groupings. I have a chart based on groupings and this season was such a challenge.

I really felt the difference with Dragons Rising. I mean, you can see the difference, but it was even more clear when doing my data collection because it was just so easy. Rather than grabbing at scraps of dialogue like I had to do in early seasons, there was often a wealth of more meaningful conversation between female characters to choose from. As with the Oni Trilogy, a female villain with a female henchman makes things easy because they scheme together. We also had Nya and Sora on a joint quest. Funnily enough, there is a rare rule 3 failure because Sora and Kreel only talked about Kreel's friend in one episode. Episode 17 had the classic split up issue and actually would've failed entirely if not for Agent Underwood, which is actually a great example of my next point. You can really tell how male is no longer the default because not only is there the introduction of all the fantastic new female main characters, but also there's plenty of random female characters scattered throughout. I haven't seen DRS2P2 yet but I expect it'll be more of the same. I should mention I also made a chart with the reverse (two named men in an episode who talk about eachother about something besides a woman). Only three episodes fail in any capacity. (Say thank you to the Akita, Pixal, and Harumi solo episodes). If you read this whole thing, thank you. I had a lot of fun doing it. Let me know if there's any other charts I can do!

[echos-gal]

ok i'm rapidly losing hope that Tech is still alive, and this sucks because it was basically the top thing i desperately wanted from this season. i wanted to see him survive. so here's my exhaustive and embarrassingly long list of reasons why he SHOULD still be alive, and if he isn't, why it was a missed opportunity. obviously no hate to the writers or anything, i love them dearly for creating this show!!!

(if you're a "Tech should stay dead for the stakes/so someone in SW stays dead for once/i hate delusional Tech stans" person, kindly keep scrolling, this ain't for you)

SEASON 2:

right from the start, Romar connects with Tech and calls himself "a survivor." HELLO???

in this same arc, Tech breaks his leg in a fall which he survives. he continues to walk on it, fighting off troopers to save Echo & Omega, showcasing his persistence and grit.

one of Phee's first lines is "better late than dead," and we know she shares a connection with Tech. she flirts with him later in this scene. it would be a shame not to reuse this line, i'm just saying....

Cid still owes Tech for racing for her in Faster. we see Cid looking miserable as she betrays the batch in Plan 99, so her playing a part in his rescue/comeback would be a nice way to show her growth. (i'm afraid there isn't enough time for this, though- as much as i thought a Cid redemption was on the horizon!)

Phee and Tech's departure is awkward, and although we have some context from season 3 (they talked more than we realized), the scene would do best if reconciled in person imo. it felt like it was setting up for something, and feels weird to leave hanging.

"don't go running off with any pirates or smugglers" could not have just been a throw away line. it set up for him to do exactly that. how fitting would it be if pirates or smugglers actually did manage to pick him up before the empire made it to the railcar crash site?

Hemlock's retrieval of the goggles shows that he sent a team to look through the wreckage. he thought there was a chance Tech survived, and may have him.

i won't go into the logistics, but big falls ARE survivable. in star wars especially. we have no idea what was below the layer of clouds/mist Tech fell through.

SEASON 3:

this is mostly CX-2 centric. their armor is very similar: the jaw/mouth shape, the hexagons over the ears, the rectangles on the chest, and the pouches/pockets.

"domicile." that is all.

CX-2 uses technology more than the other operatives we've seen, and he gets past the encryption on Phee's ship with ease.

"who are you?" was enunciated in the exact same way Tech says it to Trace and Rafa, which i definitely think was intentional.

CX-2 stops to use his rifle scope in the exact same spot where Tech and Phee stood to let down the ladders in the sea surge on Pabu.

he survives a waterfall plunge on Teth, which appears to have fooled Rex's group into thinking he'd died. the writers could have killed him off there and sent a new operative, but they chose to stick with CX-2 pursuing them to Pabu.

it's worth noting that while this CX is designated as "2," Tech's CT number is CT-9902. he is associated with the number even on a visual level: he's a dual-wielder, he wears goggles, he salutes with two fingers.

FROM A STORY PERSPECTIVE:

firstly, i am sorry and i LOVE the writers, but if you want people to accept a character's death, you've got to show his family and friends' grief. we saw no reaction from Crosshair or Phee, no tears from Hunter or Echo. it feels like fans were sadder about Tech's death than the characters in the story.

Tech seems to have been mentioned more in the second half of season 3 than the first half, which works if they want to bring him back in the finale.

the finale is called "The Cavalry Has Arrived." i really don't think you can have the cavalry (aka the bad batch) arrive without every member present. i also don't think it would feel right to play their theme without Tech there. idk, that feels incomplete!

we saw no body, and Hunter received Tech's goggles not from a trusted ally or friend, but from Hemlock. this calls into question the legitimacy of his claim that the goggles were "all he could salvage."

Tech alive and being held on Tantiss would provide a nice parallel to Echo in the first mission where we meet the batch, in TCW. and [ep 14 SPOILERS] we see that Echo is currently looking more like his TCW self, with his earpiece removed.

feels kinda sour that a character who a lot of people related to as neurodivergent representation would die just a few episodes after having a deep conversation with his sister about it.

likewise (and as a white woman i can't speak for WOC), from what i have seen, Black women are rarely the main love interest of a series! Phee is the ONLY love interest in this whole show, and it would suck to just cut off that romance before it could really become something. a lot of people wanted to see TechPhee become canon.

CX-2 is the one who destroys the marauder. it works well storywise for its pilot to have been the one to do that- the person who worked so hard modifying it, flying it, and teaching his sister to fly it. i'll be lowkey pissed if it turns out some random dude blew it up.

it's also CX-2 who invades and sets fire to Pabu. this is emotionally gripping on its own, but if he is Tech, it's even more so.

we have no idea what the operatives go through. Crosshair isn't telling, but it clearly put him in a really bad place. if Tech underwent this conditioning in his post-fall injured state, there's a chance he could come back from it. Emerie is probably the key to this, if they take the CX-2 route.

this show is all about a family trying to stay together as the Empire desperately tries to rip them apart. seeing the whole family together again - even if not everyone survives - in the finale is the satisfaction that the show ideally would go for. the last time they were all together was the season 1 finale. that was about 2 years ago in the show's timeline.

leaving Crosshair and Tech's final interactions be where they parted on the Kamino platform also feels off. Tech was the one who really vocalized the need to rescue Crosshair in season 2's finale. Crosshair, in the meantime, has changed significantly as a person. Tech's comment about Crosshair being "severe and unyielding," and unable to change this facet of his nature, is incorrect. leaving Tech dead would mean that he never gets to see this change in Crosshair, which makes me feel like a deflated balloon.

FROM MY SELFISH PERSPECTIVE!!!

give me Tech with cool scars and slightly disheveled longer hair. this is such a good opportunity for the creators to give him a sweet new look!

we never got to see Tech without his goggles on, despite Phee constantly referring to his eyes. he definitely doesn't have them right now (they're in the Archium), so we could get Mister Big Brown Eyes if he's alive. it's another missed opportunity if not, imo!

the goggles being placed in the Archium was a beautiful scene that makes me tear up whenever i think about it. it's symbolic, it's bittersweet, and it's exactly where the goggles belong. but was it closure for me? not really.

Tech is a character who became a LOT of people's favorite in season 2, including my own. why kill off a fan-favorite with an entire season to go?

yes, i desperately want a Rex and Echo series. yes, i want the batch to cameo in it, and yes... that includes Tech. making up for lost season 3 Tech content 😎

the finale will feature the zillo beast, and Tech loves the zillo beast. FREE HER! REUNITE THEM! he would love to witness her rampage.

FROM A "SURPRISE!!!!!" PERSPECTIVE

it seems like most people think Tech is either CX-2 or dead. it would be a great finale twist if we DID get CX-2's identity, it's NOT Tech, the audience loses hope, and then he shows up. i think this is actually plausible given the other assassin schematics Hemlock was looking at in Point of No Return. Tech might be in Hemlock's grasp, but not an active operative. having an enhanced clone to toy with is something Hemlock would want to keep under wraps. we see him step out of the assassin chamber at the start of that episode - if Tech is anywhere on Tantiss, i think it's here.

i think the writers have expected us to have all lost hope by now, so his finale reappearance would ideally come as a shock. the finale is almost guaranteed to be a very long episode, so we really might have quite a bit of time to explore his return, if it happens.

secret 16th episode: i know, i'm putting my clown makeup on as i type this. but the previous 2 seasons each had 16 episodes, with a two-parter finale. season 3 is just 15, with a single episode finale. TBB formally ends may 1st, so what if we get a may 4th surprise episode detailing how Tech survived? (that or an epilogue leading into a new series, which i think is more likely actually!)

[sobasicallyimpoppee]

i dont think alucard would like remmick at all bc remmick embodies the evil of colonialism and assimilation. he wants to join in sammie’s music but not to share it. besides alucard is a vampire hunter, and remmick’s vampirism is the one that’s like. about assimilation. robbing one away from their afterlife. unlife but without what makes life worth living.

i can see remmick trying to chummying up to alucard initially (oh look, another white boy! maybe we can be friends?) but if alucard susses him out, alucard throws all hands. hell maybe at first alucard sees him as a well meaning vampire but dunno how long it lasts.

i’ve also mused a possibility of a belmont meeting choctaw hunters but idk

Going off of how you said Alucard would join Sammie’s music, the angst and bittersweet gears of my brain started turning. I’d like to think that Alucard discovers Sammie during one of his travels exploring the world, his music allowing him to see people such as his mother, Trevor, Sypha, and Greta. He sees the impact of his music and recognizes the power of it, but understands the danger that comes along with it (He notices the scar on Sammie’s face, knowing it’s from someone who tried to take that from him *cough* Remmick *cough*. Alucard shows him the scar Papa Drac gave him). I’d also like to imagine that meeting Alucard spooks Sammie a lot at first but then he realizes he’s not like Remmick (He totally flips when he sees Alucard standing in the sun just fine). I think they’d form a pretty good bond with one another, Alucard visiting Sammie every chance he gets, watching as he progresses over the years but also finding a sense of comfort when hearing his music (I’m a firm believer that Alucard buys Sammie’s music and has a collection). I can see Alucard sharing all of his stories from around the world, even talking about his parents, Trevor, Sypha, Annette, Richter, and Maria. I can also see in that same light Sammie talking about Smoke, Stack, Annie, Pearline, Mary, and Slim. I think they both share the same feeling of outliving their loved ones, Alucard in terms of being immortal and Sammie having been the only one to survive the encounter with Remmick. When Alucard meets Sammie is up for interpretation, but I’d love to hear y’all’s thoughts, additions and suggestions overall!

As for Alucard encounter with Remmick, I’d also think he’d be able to clock him immediately (It is an immediately on sight situation imo). That being said, it makes me think about if at some point him and Alucard happened to have crossed paths when Remmick was first turned. Anon, I want you to lean into the idea of the Choctaw and the Belmonts, that’s a fucking awesome muse and I think, not even think actually, I KNOW you’re onto something.

Please forgive my messy typing, I yap a lot. Again, I’d love to hear all of y’all’s thought, additions, and suggestions! 🫵🏾

[utilitycaster]

You mentioned it briefly a few months ago (but it lives rent free in my head sorry!) that the most popular ship from this campaign has almost only AU fanfics and it's really telling me something about the characters from c3, that there is just really nothing to explore about them.

So here's the thing. I do not think the characters aren't worth exploring! There's been good character work (a lot of which gets ignored, actually, because it's not what many of the people who insist that C3 is their favorite as they slowly turn into a corncob want*; see basically anyone on Twitter about Orym), it's just not central to the plot.

I stand by what I originally said and which was validated at a recent Q&A panel: the cast wasn't told that this was going to be the Moon Plot Campaign (they were just told pulpier and deadlier) and Laura wasn't told that Imogen would be as central a character as she was. So I think we have characters who could have, for the most part, had a character-driven campaign around them, but it became clear relatively early on that this was the Moon Plot campaign and that wouldn't be the focus; and because to get all of his ducks in a row for the Moon Plot Matt had to take a heavier hand with the rails and as a result the party didn't have a ton of bonding time early on because they were always taking NPC missions/being ferried around in an airship with no need for watch conversations, and it's hard to go back and fill in those interactions later, which is why they've sort of fallen out of the habit.

With respect to the ship...the thing is, I genuinely believe it could have been good. The reason I'm not a fan of imo/dna isn't because I think the characters aren't good (well, my feelings on Laudna are documented but I do think Imogen is a great character). It's because, ironically enough, every barrier between them did get removed all too quickly in the service of Cottage Endgame and as a result I think many of the people who wanted that are like "wait...that's it?" Like, the gnarlrock fight fizzled out only for the same conflict to come up briefly with Ishta (swordgate) 70 episodes later and be resolved a day later in-game. When they reunited I was like you know what would have made this good? If Laudna had remained angry in episode 65 and turned Imogen down which Laura 100% expected to happen, because they hadn't talked about this and they were awkwardly trying to deal with unresolved feelings for 30+ episodes and perhaps Laudna actually leaned into Delilah wholeheartedly during that time and realized she had feelings for Imogen after all, while Imogen was simultaneously struggling with that rejection and realizing Laudna was going into a dark place but didn't feel like she could get involved, and they both leaned more (platonically) on other characters and Swordgate was the point where Laudna said "oh no, I'm becoming too much of a problem and I do want Imogen to like me" and the soul anchor felt like a culmination of a deeply felt struggle instead of a quick fix for something that had only inconvenienced her a few times and led to a 20 hour long minor spat at best? If we actually got a fucking slowburn? It would have been great! Turns out if you always go for the instant gratification, it makes for a story without any tension! And now we're watching people who were always clamoring for skipping to the good part realizing that in doing so we skipped all the buildup that makes it the good part. There could have been something to explore. It was not explored.

*I think that there are people who for whatever reason do legitimately prefer Campaign 3 for whatever reasons and are in earnest and this isn't about them. While I don't share their tastes I support them and their feelings; we all have our preferences. This is about the people who are already visibly setting up the groundwork for a dramatic rage quit that will make copious, wildly incorrect use of the term "neoliberal" if the campaign ends with the gods still in place while still insisting this is definitely the best campaign and making absolutely brainless statements about prior campaigns not being as political even though this is the least politically inclined or aware group by a country mile. I think the lesson from the above and from here is that you really cannot have your cake and eat it too.

[marionetteangie]

I have an opinion about YouTube and especially movie review channels that I’m inclined to share.

Amid all the clickbait, ragebait, hating etc, people have lost the ability to see a work for what it is, from the perspective of the person who created it, ESPECIALLY when it’s a Disney movie.

This can be seen with channels that farm views, they take a frame of the movie, freeze it at an awkward point, and then slap that on a thumbnail expecting the views to roll in. Examples include how people take Moana 2’s goofy frames, which in the context of the movie are designed to be goofy moments, but taking them out of context is designed to make the movie look bad. Same with frames from Wish, even some live action movies like Mufasa (which I haven’t watched btw, but I’ve seen the thumbnails), and any new movie that has one second of awkward scenes.

And don’t even get me started on a lack of media literacy. YouTube is crawling with clickbait, misinformation spreads like wildfire due to YouTube shorts often not showing the full context of a work (and I assume the same can be said for TikTok but I don’t use that site), and in general people have lost the ability to see nuance outside of a movie’s synopsis. This is especially prevalent with Wish, which is a movie I loved (and yes I may have spoken about it in detail on YouTube already but it’s the best example I have of this phenomena).

People missed the absolute point of Wish, it’s a movie that fights against authoritarianism and showing the power of one person to rally a community and bring them together, helping them pave the way for a future where they have the autonomy and freedom to make their dreams come true. But people misinterpreted this completely, slapped a thumbnail of a goofy looking Asha onto a video, made a YouTube short glorifying the concept art that is fundamentally flawed, (see my video):

and overall just completely missed the point of what the movie was trying to show, especially the song At All Costs (see my other video):

This isn’t solely a Wish focused post though, it’s just my best example. People don’t look at what the creator is trying to say anymore, they don’t look for the nuance or message… because they don’t watch the movies AT ALL.

I believe people have stopped watching movies or shows simply because watching a review by a random person online is so much easier and doesn’t require them to spend any money. I understand not wanting to waste money on cinema tickets, but clicking on the first review you find, which is usually made right after the movie comes out and has the most bare bones synopsis DESIGNED to make you misunderstand the movie isn’t a good idea imo.

I also think people tend to glorify old concept art nowadays, claiming they were robbed. There’s a genuine discontent in every single corner, like I’ve seen people talking about how they were robbed of Anastasia concept art, and that movie came out DECADES ago. I don’t understand why people can’t just like what exists, instead of whining about what doesn’t. Maybe it has something to do with growing up, like they hate their own lives so they project that onto media…?

Please, watch stuff yourself, and make your own judgements. Don’t follow the herd or a mob mentality, because YouTube and social media in general are really pushing everyone to think the same at the moment and I’m so tired of it. I’ve stopped watching a lot of YouTube in the last year, it’s all so samey nowadays and I only use it for music for the most part. I like forming my own judgements and sharing those to my small audience, but genuinely I don’t think it’s a site worth listening to for sound first impressions and judgements on what a movie’s creator actually wanted to say, it would be much better to watch the actual movie if you want to find the truth.

Aight, I’m out :)

[chamerionwrites]

About Andor s2 I’ve got two questions. How’d you like the bit from Lonnie’s meeting to Kleia’s extraction bit, how’d it measure up to your le Carre fan standards? It felt like it did but to my shame I’ve never read him so uh. Can’t comment

And secondly I just rewatched Rogue One and yeah I got to say. Andor’s better, little things like the extra’s dialogue and bigger things. It all links up very nicely but I’m definitely showing people in release order if I get the chance. I ADORE your analysis of Draven as a man whose doom is his own haste, I feel like the comm the team send en route to Eadu. Direct quote is “weapon confirmed. Jedha destroyed. Mission target located on Eadu, please advise.” There was intel here that there was hm. A bit of target fixation.

I feel like continuing to pursue the Galen assassination plan (morally questionable but militarily sensible plan earlier down the pipeline) is something that should’ve been reevaluated in the light of “Jedha destroyed” when you’re worrying about a planet-killing weapon. Is that already operational? Is killing Galen Erso the best way to stall it still? I get what you mean about he goes too fast and can’t call off the squadron but he could’ve called off Andor after that communication. I also see that I’m nitpicking a stupidly minor word choice in a stupidly stupid movie. And I’m reiterating what you said.

I have no trouble saying that at its best Andor is polished in a way that Rogue One (and frankly the majority of the franchise) never attains. It has a very strong script (especially in S1), consistently high production values (the costumes and sound design are highlights for me), and a keen eye for worldbuilding detail that adds a lot of texture and truth to the storytelling and that happens to be kind of a personal dream come true in terms of what I want in my Star Wars. I do also think Andor has some very real and at times glaring flaws that are worth discussing as such, and that it holds together a lot better in a vacuum than it does as a prequel (which one could argue is a pretty fundamental flaw in, yknow, a prequel).

I'd also never argue that Rogue One is a movie without flaws. I even think it's entirely possible that some of what's good about it is a bit of a happy accident! The script gets both kinda mushy and kinda rushed in Act II (specifically some of the Eadu stuff, including some of what you've mentioned here); I think Jyn's character arc in particular really needs at least one more scene after her argument with Cassian but before the council meeting on Yavin. The CG on Tarkin and Leia is unquestionably not quite there. The performances are not only very good but very good across the board imo - which is lucky because I think they're carrying the lion's share of the story by comparison to the script. However I do also think that the film has a very satisfying thematic cohesiveness (high on the list of things I look for in a good story), that the character sketches are quick but strong, that it's gorgeously shot and that it deserves credit for introducing some really fresh and interesting ideas into Star Wars that Andor then had further space to expand upon (and sometimes beautifully but only sporadically did so, which is one of my Andor critiques).

So - yeah it's better is a case you can make, and depending on what elements you're focused on I might even agree with you. But ultimately I don't find that kind of absolute (and to a certain extent subjective) statement nearly as interesting or useful as discussions about exactly how and where one thing is better than another (or isn't). ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway. Re whether Arc 4 is le Carré-esque: I think the vibes are absolutely there (and tasty as hell to me personally), but Andor really doesn't have room at that point to properly Do The Thing. Specifically, imo we actually pick up pretty near the end of the le Carré version of this story, which is FAR more focused on the exact cat-and-mouse process by which (1) Lonni stole Dedra's code cert and followed the paper trail to the Death Star and (2) Dedra followed Luthen's trail back to the antique shop. Likewise, a le Carré story would spend at least as much time on the nerve-wracking details of how exactly Cassian & Co manage to land their ship on Coruscant without flagging any suspicion as it would on a firefight in a hallway. And no self-respecting le Carré story would be even a tenth as fuzzy on the precise political/ideological fault lines between Luthen and the Alliance - or between the various members of the Alliance - and how those frictions play into the Kleya extraction situation. Those aren't necessarily complaints - just a compare and contrast! In its focus on process and logistics and bureaucracy, in the way it spends most of its time setting up dominoes before exploding into action, and in its preoccupation with trust & betrayal, I think Mon's extraction from the Senate actually follows the trademark le Carré beats more closely.

Finally, re Draven and the Eadu clusterfuck: you have to keep in mind that the man is working with extremely limited information. He makes a bad call - and I think it's pretty clear Cassian knows it's a bad call, and that this factors into his moral anguish about the assassination and ultimately his decision not to go through with it - but Draven is working off whispers and imaginings and blips on a radio, in a universe where communication technology is vastly more limited than in ours. (Honestly all the clicky clunky tactile radio porn and focus on how the comms work - and don't! - was one of the things I absolutely lived for in Andor. And even so, at times I think they're really pushing at the edges of what's previously been implied about the setting; Cass & Wilmon's earpieces on Ghorman for example are awfully clean and modern and small.)

All that said, post-Jedha-destroyed-message is absolutely the point at which Draven - THE INTEL GUY - should've said okay I'm flying blind and I need more intel. That he doesn't is pretty clearly a fuckup, and portrayed as such. But I don't find it unrealistic for human beings under pressure to fuck up that way, or even necessarily surprising to the point that it requires an explanation for the plot beat to work. It would definitely be stronger if we got a bit more character insight on Draven, or a bit more plot structure to really drive home the time crunch, or even a bit more clarifying dialogue - but the simplest explanation is just that Draven has no particular reason to trust Galen as an ally. Going by the information he's working with, the guy is (1) an Imperial weapons developer (2) who's already built something very dangerous, (3) may build more weapons, and (4) maybe if the Force is smiling on them plays an important role in maintaining that first weapon's functionality??? And also Draven appears to be highkey stressed and a little trigger happy. And also he didn't send an extraction team, he sent an assassin. Smuggling one guy out of a top secret military facility alive on the chance he'll willingly share info with you is a WHOLE different level of manpower and precision planning than putting a laser bolt through his brain. Draven knows that Galen is on Eadu now, but not that he'll stay there; he doesn't have an extraction team on the ground or the prior planning & recon required to pull off that extraction without getting a bunch of his people killed; he DOES have a reliable agent on the ground who's reliably good with a sniper rifle. So between the pretty-sure-thing murder right now and the very-hypothetical extraction sometime in the future...Draven picks the sure thing.

The story is open enough that you can headcanon all kinds of motives/emotions/plot obstacles into the empty spaces there, but I think ultimately it still all comes down to those urgency blinders you referenced.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) I CANNOT believe we are at the finale already. This season went by in the blink of an eye. I was VERY excited for this finale and what it would bring. They don't have a ton of moments. But the ones they do the writers made count. My goodness I was happy and hopeful after this episode ended. Hard to believe we won't see our babies on screen till 2025. *grumble*

D sent me something about that actually (thank you bestie) Here it be. A.H. saying he's pretty sure all networks are doing this mid season 18 ep start. One of the reasons being the Election coming up. They want to protect shows and their ratings from the debates, coverage etc. And those usually happen on Tuesday nights. Which is actually really intuitive foresight from ABC. So to protect our ratings and show I get it. Especially if we wanna lock down a S8. I don't love it but I get it. Anyways lets get to it shall we? My last "mini" thoughts of the season.

6x10 Escape Plan

Always makes me nervous for Lucy going UC but still amazing to watch her in her element. Even if it makes my stomach tie in knots. Now maybe this is just me but Lucy seemed EXTRA uneasy on this OP. This is pure speculation on my part. But could be lending a little more credence to this not being the path for her? Just the feeling I got while watching her in these moments with with the kids in this one and the sneaking around.

I will say I do love seeing Lucy with the kids. Gives us a glimpse into her as a mama. I'm liking what I am seeing. Can't help but have that thought. I really can't. Chenford has taken over my brain and I'm very ok with it. Smitty's text to Lucy did crack me up. 'Red incoming.' Gotta love Smitty. Lucy is giving me a damn heart attack being undercover though.

The panic in her soul is so evident the minute she sees Monica is approaching. The way she guides the kids out of the room. Then the sheer terror when the kids wanna take a shorter exit. She has to pivot and redirect them quickly. I feel like the pressure of this specific UC mission was getting to her. I really do. It was felt in all her movements and body language through out these scenes IMO. I could be wrong but it was just a gut feeling I got watching her.

I think her expression in this scene after Monica departs is everything. Melissa be crushing it out here. Almost like she has to take a deep breath. Calm her racing heart down before unrooting herself from that spot to investigate further. I feel like her look of unease and panic here brings home the point I've been making.

Her questioning if doing UC is worth this stress? Worth the constant worry? Like I said back in my 5x20 review. Just because you're good at something doesn't mean it's meant to be your destiny. i.e. Lucy being a permanent U.C. Pretty sure her cover is blown after she runs right into him but she got the info she needed. At the expense of my own anxiety and worry though ha

The look in this scene oh my lord. How can they have so much chemistry with just one look? Melissa and Eric are a damn treasure to this fandom. To this amazing ship. Tim saying 'It's good to have you.' That loaded look between them. *screams into a pillow.*

You know that man is happier now that she's folded into this OP. His eyes were on her from the moment she stepped on scene. Be more in love with her Tim please. Then sharing a look with Angela. I’m dying. Angela is us we are Angela. She is the fandom in this moment watching this exchange. *sigh* So good.

Someone please tell me how do they look so amazing just standing next to one another? It's unreal how they can exude SO much chemistry just standing next to one another. Forever floored by the amount of physical chemistry these two have without even touching. It blows my mind in the best way.

Also I always enjoy me some Tim in T.O. mode it's sexy af. It revs my engine to watch him back in leadership mode. Not gonna lie. So very confident and sure of himself. Gah makes me need to cross my legs watching him in action LOL Sorry (sorta)Feral Caitlin made a return there haha But I do love seeing it. Like he’s getting his mojo back professionally. It’s nice to see. Does my heart good to watch it.

Oh my word they haven’t really been alone to talk (not counting the hug last ep) since 6x06. I’m so happy. I was legit buzzing watching this. My heart Tim telling her he took her advice and went to therapy. Yessss been waiting for this to unfold. Was hoping when they got a moment alone he would tell her about it. Look at him taking the first opportunity they have solo to tell her this. The growth of this man is incredible to see. I'm so proud of him it's insane. He takes a beat and makes the best of their time together. Breaking the uncomfortable ice with it. *happy sigh*.

I'm so proud of him. I can't state this enough. It is NOT easy to have this convo let alone be the one to start it. Another way to see he's grown. Tim is tackling the conversation. Being the one to broach it. Not Lucy dragging it out of him. I love her telling him that's not normal what happened for him. Definitely hasn't been my experience haha I do love her following up her little joke with being serious. Wanting to encourage him to keep going. I love this. Doesn’t want him to think one bad experience will tar the entire profession.

Tim nodding with a smile asking her if she wants to know the irony of it all? Lucy of course does. Tim continues on that she was a good therapist. The sessions they helped him. Damnit Blair.... I do adore the way Lucy is looking at him while he speaks about this. That angry look she started with has softened quite a bit. Truly hope he continues in S7 and we get to hear about it. God I would love to see sessions. Some of my all time fav Beckett scenes in Castle's S4 was getting to see her sessions with her therapist. It's on my wish list. *fingers crossed.*

His continued sharing with Lucy makes my heart so happy it might implode. Letting Lucy know therapy despite Blair being dirty has been good for him. She unearthed things he wasn't even aware of. I felt the same way too after a couple weeks. I felt more regulated tbh. I had massive sleeping problems from age 15 to when I decided to go to therapy in my 30's. After a couple sessions my sleeping issue's were gone for most part. I had been carrying my problems for so long. Like a pressure cooker with no release valve. So with no outlet they followed me into my unconscious and manifested into anxiety attacks. Couple weeks of sessions and my sleep issues all but disappeared.

Therapy when you truly lean into it can do wonderful things. i.e. Tim opening up to Lucy like this. Also look how SOFT Lucy looks with him as he bares his soul to her. I would be remiss if I didn't go in depth on this. The look of pride and love splayed all over her face is everything. Also reverence and love as well. This episode has a lot of loaded looks and I ate them all up. We started this scene with her face hard and holding a lot anger still. Then Tim melts it with his genuine vulnerability and sharing of what going to get help has done for him. Not only that but giving her props for the original advice in the first place. I'm beaming with delight.

We move onto Tim is being anxious his sessions are going be heard for evidence cause of the FBI investigation. Ugh. This kicks Lucy's brain into gear about that. Asking if he said anything revealing about her? His reply had me rolling. I adore him making a joke like this. Letting her know he mentioned ‘Freak in the sheets.' about her. I’m dying. I have no doubt there is some truth to that for them both LOL Look at our boy making jokes and getting her to laugh. God it was so so nice to see her laugh again. He earns a smile out of her too. The first time he's been the cause of that since her gifted her that KIA Radio in 6x05. I'm floating. They're both smiling by end of this scene. *sigh* We needed this.

We got to see some BAMF Lucy in this moment. Something that just like Tim in confident T.O. Mode has been missing since 6x06. I love her being like take this guy my man is in trouble. Getting him dropped off and instantly taking off after Tim. Who is also trying to pull off some bad assery tbh. A little recklessly but that's why Lucy is coming after him.

She see's his play and wants to be there to back it. Literally waste's no time in pursuit of him. Peels right out of that damn laundromat after him. Tim's play going south VERY quickly when this guy catches on to him in the bed of the truck. Sends his gun flying and my heart racing.

Adore the worried wifey look as she watches from the car. It's pouring out of her in that brief shot. Well done Melissa. Just like Eric she knows how to convey so very much with just a look. Lucy knows Tim is in trouble. That she can't just sit there in pursuit of the vehicle without helping him.

Especially after she watches him get pulled into the cab. Knowing that he is currently at a tactical disadvantage. No way in hell she is leaving him to fight this guy off alone. Telling Lopez to take the wheel as she makes her way out to help him.

Lopez's face when she makes the jump is shocked and amazed. Lucy continuing her BAMF streak on this OP. I loved the surprised look on Tim's face when she first jumps on the truck. Like he can't believe she just risked her life to come help him out. He can't stay in the feeling long as she takes the guy out for them. But it needed to be noted his utter surprise she was there to have his back. Risked her life to do so. Such a bad ass battle couple. Back to back finales we get to watch them be poetry in motion in the field with a battle.

Oh my lord what an epic scene to watch. Lucy jumping onto that moving truck bed to save her man. They take him down together. Their work dynamic easily coming back into play here. They don't miss a beat in this moment. Working as harmoniously as they always have in the past together in the field. I love the looks shared once they've stopped the truck.

Especially Tim's. He is so damn impressed with her. Always finds a way to blow him away with the bad ass she's become. Man is falling in love all over again. It shows all over the two looks he gives her in this scene. First one is his falling back in love again. I mean he already was but think sunk him deeper. Second one is more of just being in awe of her. The pride he feels watching the amazing cop she's developed into. I love these two so much.

Let me start with how happy it makes my heart that Tim smiles when she walks up to him. Despite all the hurt just the sight of her elicits a smile out of him automatically. His walking sunshine. Love of his damn life. She truly is his happy place in human form. Lucy making a crack about him taking a half day. Their banter still simmering beneath the surface. It's a little subdued in this moment but it's alive and well with Tim's reply. He is ever the gentlemen letting her go first.

His elevator version of holding the door for her. That chivalry never dying with him. It's the little things. Can't ignore how Lucy is looking at this man the entire scene. From start to finish. With such reverence and love. Still so in love with this man standing in front of her. Lucy can't help it. She is a moth to a flame with him. Especially with Tim thanking her for saving his life. Let's delve into that a little shall we? Tim Bradford is saying he didn't have it. Admitting fault he would've lost that battle without her.

Saying not only did he not have it but Lucy did. That he wouldn't be standing here without her. Giving her the kudos and all the praise for saving his life. Far cry from 1x01 and his future reaction to that moment in S5. This is a different Tim we see standing before us everyone. The amount of growth in this moment is immense. Because not only did she save his life but she saved him in a deeper sense. Feels like it's truly hitting him like a freight train the impact she's had on his life. I think there is double meaning to his words above. It's what leads him into this next section below.

The loving expression on Lucy's face when she replies ' You're Welcome.' That look of I'm still in love with you, I would do anything for you despite the hurt, and her realizing the deeper meaning of Tim thanking her. The growth she is currently seeing in him is prompting this soft/warm look and even softer reply. It's what encourages Tim to say his next portion. You can see him psyching himself up before he turns around to apologize. To own what he's done to them. To her.

Tim starts his apology by telling her he knows what he’s done (thank you lord for this) That he knows he ruined everything. You sure did babe...but you’re gonna earn it all back I know it. Lucy has the most loving and forgiving nature. The biggest heart. Also we can see there is still a tinge of anger to her expression at first above. So that journey will not be an easy one for Tim. Nor should it be. He has a lot to make up for. But my god will it be worth it in the end. I truly believe that. I'm going to be crying river's when we get there.

Look at how he has grown. Immediately spilling his guts emotionally to her twice in one episode. Not once but TWICE. Hell three times really. With saying she saved him and admitting fault to what he's done. I can't get over this. He had two really hard conversations with her in this episode. Swallowing that pride of his he's trying to hard to overcome. Doing this in order to communicate better with her. To show her he's putting in the time and the effort. To let her know he knows he messed up and is owning that. Something Tim wouldn't have done before. At least not easily. These are great strides for him. I couldn't be prouder of where they are ending the season for him. Imma need more therapy though in S7 you hear me writers?

Tim thanking Lucy for extending him the kindness she has shown him. *my damn heart.* That he can never explain how much he appreciates it. That she could've easily turned on him and he would've understood. But that's not Lucy. We all know that's not who she is. Or ever will be. It's that forgiving nature of her's that is one of the many reasons Tim is so damn gone for her. I think there is once again a double meaning to his words. To me Tim is saying this is for far more than just post break up. It's for their entire relationship. Together/apart and especially when they were not 1-4. The kindness and the empathy she's aways shown him. Even at his worst.

Like I said earlier it's all hitting him hard. The place she held in his life for so long and the impact she's had on him. Imma cry. A giant epiphany moment for Tim I think. Maybe starting to slowly understand the unconditional love she has for him. This scene made me tear up. That anger that is still present melts away a little more for Lucy. If she continues to see Tim work on himself. He shows her his continued growth. No reason she wouldn't take this man back when he's put in the work to re-earn that place in her life. Tim saying he's gonna spend rest of his life repaying her back for said kindness. *screams into the void.* In whatever small doses she allows of course.

Respecting her boundaries and hoping she will allow him to do so. It's the sweetest most sincere part of his apology. The way she looks at him as he departs. *heart clutch* You can see he's stunned her into silence. But also Lucy can see the growth in him and it’s written all over her face. This is a fantastic way to end the season for them. It wouldn’t be right to get back together right now or even just a 'we almost died' hook up. (Wonderful fic's out there for that just recently BTW.) Just wouldn’t. As much as my shipper soul LONGS for them to be back together. Legit longs so much it hurts. This was a good way to end them for the season. With some hope, some growth and a path forward leading us to S7.

Some Final thoughts below. With a Chenford hug to this lovely fandom of ours.

First off I want to thank you all for doing this not so mini review journey with me. I was nervous to do them. Even after doing 9 plus months of them with 1-5. This was different. It was first impressions. Hope you all enjoyed them. I'm more than happy to do this next season too. First impression thoughts for S7 as well if you are all interested. Let's move onto some final thoughts I'm having. You know months could pass by when we get to 7x01 in their timeline. I’m hoping he’s in therapy during this duration. Ready to prove he wants to earn her trust back. To earn her back. I don't think for one second that moment in the elevator is the last deep conversation they're going to have before we get a reconciliation. Tim has her love. Always has. Always will.

Lucy's decisions and responses in 6x10 show that. No matter what she loves this man. What he needs to gain back is her trust. To prove over and over again. He's there to stay. To show her through kind acts. To rebuild his rapport with her. I’m excited for that journey cause when we get there. *phew* God the fandom is gonna implode with happiness. It’ll be well earned. Their relationship is going to be even better with the growth Tim has done. (Hoping for some more for Lucy as well and getting the support she needs/deserves)We saw massive results in this episode alone. Can you imagine how it’ll be when they’re back together? *chefs kiss* it’ll make all the hurt and pain so worth it.

Getting emotional writing about this. This ship has a stranglehold on my emotions and I’m ok with it. Eric and Melissa love our passion for this couple. So I won’t be ashamed for the affect it has on me. I’m excited for s7. It’ll be a long hiatus. But we will get through it together. I will probably wait till mid July to do my thoughts fully fleshed out for S6. Think we all need time for finale to settle. For us too as well. I'm most definitely not ready to re-dive into everything just yet. Especially 6x05/6x06. But I'm hoping couple month hiatus for me will help with tackling that. Then we can start that journey for us all to go on with my deeper analysis.

As always thank you all for the likes, comments and reblogs. For being interested in my thoughts at all. It means the world you have no idea. Love this fandom, love this show and this incredible ship we are so fortunate to have. So once again thank you all for being on this journey of S6 with me. Like said earlier I’ll get started in my fleshed out S6 reviews come mid July. :)

~~~

Side notes-Non chenford

Monica cleaned up a mess for Blair. Manipulated her by helping her most Monica thing I've ever heard. Glad to finally have answers to that. I knew it felt like manipulation. She had too much of a conscience to be dead inside and doing it for money. Sucks cause she is very good at her job. That scene with Aaron was a mic drop moment for him. So proud of how far he came this season as well.

Friggin Nolan never listens. And get shot for not listening. In the ass. Because he's a pain in one. Was apropos. Also he's right back to being a dumb putz to me. It was short lived john you made it half an episode before falling out of my good graces LOL

Once again music amazing for their final scenes whoever handled that this season crushed it. Bringing out all my emotions.

See you all later this summer for my in-depth ones. Till then be kind and rally around each other. Gonna be a long hiatus.

[trashogram]

I'm so happy you liked my revision of Striker!!! I'm pretty excited to share my thoughts with you and your followers! ^^

As promised, here is;

Re-Writing Moxxie, Millie, and The Harvest Moon Festival

Moxxie

I don't have that big of an issue with Moxxie's characterization actually. Knowing myself, I would have thought him up the same, if not similarly, as Viv did to contrast Blitzø's wild nature, and Millie would have been the bridge between them (explained in her section).

Moxxie being the 'har har he's such a loser' jokes got old real fast imo. And from what I can tell, the writers actually want him to be the weak link of the chain rather than there being a reason why he keeps screwing up. Blitzø said he saw so much potential in Moxxie, so what's going on there?

We all know his bloody mafia past- which i am planning on keeping (because I'm a whore for mob daddy 😶‍🌫️), so the way I would have written this; it's not that Moxxie is incapable of being the leader or taking care of a hit. Being the so i already told you this, but I would have made it so that Moxxie is actually very capable, and he's got his own bloodlust like Millie (I mean, this is Hell? Who isn't at least a little murderous?). But now that he's escaped his childhood home and abuser, he's so desperate to start anew and to be nothing like Crimson, that he winds up shooting himself in the foot.

When he sets that aside, though, he can be a death machine just as well as Blitzø and Millie. Whenever Millie is in danger and needs help, like in Murder Family and C.H.E.R.U.B., Moxxie is on it. I would have also written in moments in the show where he saves Blitzø as well. Yeah, they may bicker, but that's still the same imp who got him out of his situation, gave him a life worth living, and he met the love of his life through Blitzø. Blitzø is probably his best friend, or at least the closest to one he has outside of Millie.

Also- I would have written Millie and Moxxie as dating in the show, and they get married sometime later... Yes, it is partially for the excuse of animating their wedding 😆 but also, it just feels more right for us to be able to see M&M's relationship grow rather than just get introduced to them as a married couple.

Especially since I think i would have made Moxxie's fretting over Millie doubled. Not just because he's a fretter, but also because he's scared of hurting her or driving her away because of his past. Watching his parents' relationship deteriorate the way it did didn't help him at all with his confidence in love. So at first, he kinda treats Millie so delicately; he tries his hardest to be the perfect gentleman and then some, and he's always worried and protective of her. This is one of the things that Millie and Moxxie would grow as a couple in the series, with Moxxie relaxing around her and realizing that he's put up a front of who he is rather than show his true self. Once Millie gets that through to him, that's when they truly become an unstoppable team and power couple.

Also I think i would have given Moxxie glasses? I've seen a lot of fan redesigns and a couple of them include Moxxie with glasses (i think it correlates to his Greed heritage? Like maybe his glasses resemble that of a bookkeeper? I'm not so sure). And I really like them ☺️ it not just differentiates him from Crimson in physical appearances, but also it just fits him. Maybe the glasses can symbolize Moxxie's character ark through the show (when he tried to hide his true self, he kept his glasses off so he wasn't showing a sign of weakness- something Crimson would have grilled into him. But as he grows more comfortable with his found family, he wears the glasses more and more, showing his true colors).

That and- for you and your OC- If Moxxie had glasses, maybe that's how Hail gets hers? He can tell immediately she needs them, and he 'knows a guy' who can get her her prescription! But he asks her to not tell Blitzø, Millie, or Loona that he himself has a prescription since this would have been before his ark? What do you think?

Millie

I also don't have that big a problem with Millie's character, but seeing your posts about the obvious favoritism made me realize how she's treated like a background character. I'd definitely change that in my revision of this story. Millie and Moxxie are a team, and that needs to be seen in the show, but also that Millie has her own life and character outside of her boyfriend and job.

Now, Millie being the bridge between the boys. She's an absolute unit and isn't afraid to get her hands dirty like Blitzø, but she's got some softer tastes like Moxxie. We got the implication that Millie doesn't actually like musicals in Mission Weeabooboo - I personally just saw it as her not liking that 'depressing french horseshit' musical in particular rather than her not liking them in general. I see her being into musicals like Heather's or Little Shop of Horrors while Moxxie prefers the classical ones like Cats or Phantom of the Opera.

I'd want to make a short that shows M&M spending the day together, and at some point, they're having a lighthearted debate over which musical is better. Later, they both happily kill someone together as a loving assasin couple, which would show that Moxxie has in common with Millie with bloodshed. Basically a day that shows what drew them to each other and what they have in common but also celebrates their differences that make them their own people outside of each other.

But outside, Millie would get more screening on missions (idk about you guys, but that was BS imo how Martha's husband was so easily able to knock her out with a bottle without gaining a scratch). Not just fighting, but also how smart she is. She was an assasin before Blitzø formed the team, and was born and raised on a farm in Wrath. She has to know many skills. Maybe she and Blitzø trained Moxxie and Loona? (Moxxie blushing Millie when she managed to pin him down while teaching him how to be an assasin? 😏).

Also, what happened between her and Cha- nothing, because I'm erasing Chaz's existence from my re-write. There's no reason for him to exist other than to die in Exes and Ooh's. Moxxie and Millie aren't going to have a shared ex in this re-write.

Millie will still have her happy history, and they may still disapprove of Moxxie in my re-write. However, since they are just dating, it's still them getting to know her boyfriend. And I promise, there would be an on-screen acceptance of Moxxie in my re-write. And Millie would have actively stood up for him, rather than just promise him that they'll accept him 'eventually' like she did in the show. (I love my girl, but that was too passive imo. Even if that's her family, they tell still disrespectful to him and their marriage. But I digress-)

But even with her happy history, Millie would pick up on how Moxxie doesn't really talk about his past. I can see her trying to ask once, maybe set up a meet-the-parents date when they've reached a certain point in their relationship. But Moxxie shutting that down politely would have told Millie that it's best not to push it. She's not dumb. She knows that she lucked out with living parents and siblings in Hell. It makes her seeth wondering who could have out such a sweet guy like Moxxie through so much that he can't even bring them up, but she'll respect his wishes. During the Crimson episode, Millie wouldn't have asked "Why haven't I met your pa before?" But instead, "I'll grab Blitzø and we can leave, honey." Before Moxxie, scared for what Crimson might do, tells her it's fine and they enter the house. But Millie right away is off-put by Crimson and all the sharks. (Especially after Crimson kissed her hand and called her a 'pretty thing' in front of her and in the privacy of the dining room. Am I the only one who's wondering why that wasn't acknowledged? I might just be overthinming it though.)

In general, other than giving Millie more time to shine and accentuating hers and Moxxie's shared and separate interests, I think I would have made her the same? Hopefully, I'm not overlooking anything 😅

Oh! And she and Striker know about each other :) they're two of the only imp assasins in Hell, and they grew up in the same ring. They weren't childhood friends or anything, and Millie doesn't know that Striker himself is that mysterious imp assasin thats put a strain on the royals, but they did hear about each others' reputations and are impressed. Millie hopes that they'll one day meet and maybe he can join the team.

The Harvest Moon Festival

The episode is one of the best to me... Yes, a big reason is because our beloved Striker is in it 😆 however, seeing your post about how in both Millie's house and Moxxie's house the focus was on him, it got me thinking about how I would change that.

Striker manages to charm everyone. He even impresses Moxxie in my re-write. That gets flipped on its head, though, when he insults Moxxie in front of Joe and Lin and they just shrug in agreement. He finds himself on Millie's shit list real fast, Moxxie worries himself with gaining Joe and Lin's approval, and it becomes a tense few days as they stay for the Harvest Moon Festival (i would have tried to extend it to a week at most. It seems like the kind of celebration that would be longer than just a day).

At night, though, Millie hears rustling and goes to investigate. Moxxie has been trying to impress her folks this whole time, so he's a bit distracted and exhausted. Millie goes to investigate her childhood home, and she sees signs of Striker being not what he seems. One night, she even catches him awake, and they have an intense stare down. Millie threatens him for ruining what was supposed to be a vacation for Moxxie and making him look bad in front of her folks, "I could kill 'ya right here, and no one would give a shit." And he just returns it with a smirk, "I'd like 'ta see 'ya try, little lady." Before Moxxie or Blitzø interrupts them and everyone has to go back to bed.

So it's Millie that grows suspicious of Striker first and has a vendetta against him. It's not just Moxxie, though; her parents tell her about him- or rather what little they know about him and that pesky habit of his to disappear, and she just knows that something isn't right. It's Millie that investigates and finds the rifle. It's Millie that gets in a tussle with Striker, nearly gets herself killed despite her skill, and Moxxie is the one that rushes to her aide- surprising Striker that this weakling got the better of him- before he gains the upper hand again.

And at the end, when Striker escapes and Lin and Joe find their daughter and Moxxie, they see that she probably would have been dead if it weren't for Moxxie. Granted, they're both in terrible condition, but who knows if they'd still have Millie of Moxxie wasn't there? They finally accept Moxxie, and vow that if Striker ever shows his face again, they'll give him Hell. In Wrath, if you go after someone, you better be prepared to face the rest of their family.

Oh dear, this took WAY longer than I wanted to type out 😅 i hope it's ok? I know i missed some things most likely, and it's not the best re-write. But I hope you like it!

Up next is Blitzø and Loona. And after them, Barbie and Fizz 😊

😩

We are blessed! With more rewrite thoughts!!! Gather round, Fam!

I’m lovin all your rewrites — especially how you weave them together like an actual writer would. Story elements like character, relationships and plot aren’t all isolated from each other like weird SCP creatures but connect to and affect each other as they should.

My fav things:

- Moxxie is competent and not a Butt Monkey

- He has an arc that is followed through and not constantly thrown out then reeled back in like the most frustrating worm on a hook

- Moxxie with glasses is a super cute image (and yes I would adore Hailoxxie where both cuties are glasses-wearers ☺️)

- CHARACTER FOR MILLIE and the fact that the gd Harvest Moon Festival ep revolves around her doing detective work

- Millie and Moxxie developing a relationship based on likes/dislikes, communication, depending on each other, creating memories, etc. Ya know, the way ppl develop relationships in real life

- I agree Millie and Moxxie should’ve been dating then progressed to marriage bc them being a newly married couple literally does nothing for the pair in canon

- Millie defending Moxxie from her parents and Striker

- Chaz hath been deleted 🙏 Praise the lord

It’s literally like you took the asinine and aimless ramblings of canon and created something worth watching! 1000/10 stars for you ⭐️❤️

[tubbytarchia]

The thing about Evo Jimmy that makes me happy is that he’s so much more of a menace and messes around with people!! Sure everytime he does it he loses or something goes wrong but he’s not afraid to do it and doesn’t even think of the consequences!! He only acts civil is when Martyn’s there and if he’s not, no one is safe.

Netty and Jimmy’s friendship is also really sweet because she likes to join in on his mischief and follows him without hesitation,same goes with Jimmy. They both share half a brain cell and they couldn’t care less!! I also love the fact that they both had the most episodes on Evo, they quite literally ran Evo together. Even if they weren’t that lore based or whatever,it was still there and Jimmy’s listener lore needs to more appreciated!!! I wish Evo went on longer so I could’ve seen what would’ve happened. Jimmy also out right hated the watchers and didn’t care at all what they said. After the Listeners gave him his little mission he realised it immediately that the watchers weren’t good people. I also love how Jimmy makes small hints of the watchers but never outright says it,or he mentions them and just brushes past it.

To sum it up: I want Jimmy’s mischievous ways back. I miss him being a little asshole and messing with people

I wholeheartedly agree that I wish Jimmy was mischievous more often like he used to be even if he would often get punished for it, although I do think we've been seeing a bit more of that in places, and I also very much miss Netty and her and Jimmy's banter. I don't think Jimmy was that much of a menace though, rather he just sassed people back, especially those who he felt had done wrong by him, but his entire shtick in Evo was to be a cop and he did very genuinely try to be one, setting out to prove himself to be good rather than a troublemaker when Martyn wasn't around; to prove to Martyn that he was good. Eg when he helped mine resources for Netty's library, gave every piece of it to Netty, surprising her, and then said something like "did you get a picture?". But that might be the culprit, that he was overly punished for any mishaps and quips to the point that he wanted to prove his potential and capability till the end of Evo and started feeling progressively more culpable over the course of future SMPs

This is a trend in most of Jimmy's playthroughs where he just gets caught in other people's crossfire and painted as bad rather than doing anything actually worth punishing himself. I like when he has the assertiveness to get back at people, to turn pranks back around like he did in Legacy and for some of X Life, to hold Martyn accountable in Evo rather than always taking the blame himself, to almost beat Sausage to death in SOS after everything Sausage had said and put him through, when he rejected Scott's poppy in RL and proclaimed that Scott wasn't forgiven for getting him killed. I wish he'd gotten back at people in ESMP2 calling him a toy the same way he did at the Mafia in Evo which continuously villainized him. I like when he's sassy, I like when he gets back at people, I like when he stands his ground, I like when he does pranks, I like when he doesn't let himself be shot down, especially when trying to take charge (another trend, where he keeps trying to take charge as he sees necessary in relationships and otherwise, only to be knocked down 500 pegs). I like when banter involves him rather than just being aimed at him. But I genuinely don't think he's ever been a proper asshole, he deserves to stab and kill and I wish he did but he's only done so when he believes to have been wronged, or he'd stop himself and often apologize or feel guilty etc. I wrote a long post on my thoughts on Evo awhile back where I went more in debth

Don't have much to say about the Listener stuff, the time that Jimmy spent without Martyn at the end is important to his character imo but the end of Evo just kinda lost me in general, any kind of watcher/listener lore passes me by unfortunately but if other people enjoyed that whole bit then more power to them absolutely

[phxntomsdusk]

you should write something about studentbur.. if ur comfy.. hes really underrated imo.. im currently hyperfixated on him

Science fair - Studentbur x GN!reader

summary: being paired up with the “weird” kid for the science fair ends up taking an unexpected turn

(anon, i love this!! since i’m a student myself this is definitely one of the easiest things for me to write !! if you want you can become a regular anon and share your studentbur thoughts, i’ll gladly answer each and every one <3)

warnings: kids are mean abt will

tags: @ax-y10 , @joviepog (ask to be added!)

word count: 1120

Science fair was one of the most dreadful things to have to do. Your teacher had picked partners for everyone, but allowed creative liberty for what you wanted to do. And the person you got paired with? William Gold.

He didn’t talk much in your class, unless it was one of his friends, but even then they barely say near him. He was known as the “weird” kid. From what everyone said he smelled, he was annoying, and had the worst sense of humor.

You didn’t know him personally so you couldn’t judge him just yet, you’d have to save it for when you finally got to work with him.

You approached him during lunch, sitting across from him and clearly surprising him. He didn’t say anything to you and simply continued to eat.

“Hey, I’m your partner for the science fair. I’m Y/N.” You stuck a hand out as a greeting, watching him timidly put his sandwich down and grab your hand back. “I’m William.. Well, Will or Wilbur. Call me whatever.” He shrugged at his own words, before letting go of your hand and continuing to eat.

It was obvious he wasn’t used to people talking to him, but you had to bear with it for now.

“I was thinking that for the science fair we could do something simple? And we could meet up at the park to work on it, if that’s okay with you.” You made sure to keep your gaze on him as you spoke, a welcoming smile on your lips as you watched him carefully. “Yeah, sure. Simple as in what soil helps plants grow? Or if maybe colors affect a dog’s enjoyment with a toy? We could do an actual experiment in my mum’s garden or with my dog.”

You could only smile as he slowly came out of his shell, you now knew his mum had a garden you guys could use, and a dog! “Those are perfect! I think the dog one would be easiest to do. I could use my allowance to buy some different colored toys from the shop and then we can see which ones your dog likes more.”

He quickly nodded at your suggestion, before shuffling through his bag and grabbing a paper and pen, scribbling down his number and address. “So, instead of the park we can do everything at my house. For the poster board what do we do? Dog house theme? We could cut up some construction paper and make it all pretty.”

Over the course of your conversation he only became more smiley and talked about his interests. You could put he enjoyed gaming, wanted to get into music, and even had a vinyl collection he wanted to show you when you were to go over.

You of course had to talk to your parents about it, which they gladly allowed you to go over that weekend.

You made sure to text the number he had given you, which ended up thankfully being his and not a house phone.

The two of you only made further plans throughout the day, more ideas being thrown back and forth for what types of toys you should do, what the poster board should look like, and what to call the experiment.

You both decided to not come up with a fancy title or pun for the experiment, simply calling it the question you wanted to answer. The poster board was going to look like a dog house, and he agreed that you were going to make it, while he did the main experiments.

The weekend came around faster than expected, but it was 100% worth it. You made sure to buy at least 8 cheap toys of rainbow colors, including white and black. They were all squeaky rubber toys.

When you finally showed up it was more peaceful than expected, and he was waiting patiently on the porch for you, bouncing a tennis ball against the ground.

Before you guys did anything he introduced you to his mum and his dog, offering you a drink and snack, and finally took you to his room to show off his vinyls.

While he rambled on about his love for bands, you couldn’t help but think about all the things kids would say about him. He was almost polar opposite to what they described, he wasn’t weird, it seemed like he just didn’t have anyone who listened to all of his interests.

You probably spent way too long in his room before the actual experiment, which was much more fun than either of you expected.

His dog adored you, mostly ignoring the toys and giving l the attention to you. Will was smiling like an absolute idiot the entire time, and laughing like a maniac. He kept having to pull the pup off of you, squeaky toys so many times until it felt like your ears would bleed.

“God, you shouldn’t have stayed. We can’t do anything, he likes you too much!” His voice thankfully dripped with sarcasm, before he helped you to your feet after his dog practically tackled you to the ground.

“Oh, shut up. We may just have to do this another day.” You sighed and wiped your pants free of any dirt that got on you. “Alright, alright. I’ll put the toys somewhere in my room. Wanna listen to more of my vinyls until your parents come to get you? We have, like, an hour.” He smiled as he spoke, making his way back inside the house and up to his room.

You quickly followed after him, shooting him a thumbs up as you found yourself sitting on his bed. He shuffled through his collection, before pulling out an Arctic Monkeys vinyl and displayed it to you.

“Please say you’re a fan. I don’t think we can be friends if you aren’t.” He pouted dramatically as he placed it on the player, allowing it to spin almost as soon as he put it on. “I am a fan. You played them for me the second I entered the front door.”

He laughed lightly at your words, shrugging before he flopped down onto the bed right next to you. “Think we’ll get a good grade?” He looked at you with raised brows, lifting a hand up in the shape of a fist.

You made a fist and bumped it with his, smiling and nodding. “Yeah, I think so. It’s definitely not the most impressive, but it’s unique.” You laid back next to him, enjoying the music and the moment as you stared up at the ceiling.

Maybe getting paired with the “weird” kid would end up being a good thing.

A really good thing.

[aziraphalebutdemon]

how does aziraphale truly see heaven?

I know it has been talked about many times, but I thought I would share my thoughts on this, i was just thinking about this scene lately:

Aziraphale thinks of heaven as something good, as he said himself, but as he himself and as we know, it was a mean, MEAN place.. and I think Crowley and aziraphale have two completely different views on this.. but correct me if I'm wrong.

Aziraphale's side

Aziraphale maybe even thinks he can change how things are in heaven, hence, agreeing to this offer, he thinks of hell as bad, and heaven as something that's just meant to be good, and now that he can actually make a difference, he takes it.

Crowley's side

Crowley in my honest opinion thinks of heaven and hell are just as bad as each other, and that they're maybe not even worth to focus on, to even be on hell's or heaven's side, he has seen how atrocious heaven is probably from what we know, and he experienced hell too. It makes sense he doesn't see the point.

Bonus point:

The misunderstanding

There was tons of misunderstanding between their talk but this one got me the most:

"Oh Crowley, nothing lasts forever.."

Poor Crowley took it as that he can't convince him otherwise, but that also, they don't last forever.

Which imo aziraphale didn't mean to make sound like that but yeah.

That's then the "good luck" and aziraphale's shocked "good luck?!"

But at the end of the day .. love always wins right?

(I just want to know more people's opinions and views!!)

[doctorweebmd]

in the last year i graduated uni, lost a whole bunch of people, lost my brand new job and felt like the biggest failure ever. even though i read your fics for comfort, i found serious wisdom in the little tags you write under all your posts. there was a specific anecdote you made about your experience being 22 that i read around the time i turned that age this year. i seriously think in those moments you kept me from spiralling too far, you helped me see everyone goes a bit mad in their early twenties. what a horrible shared experience.

i’m currently re reading battle of the bands, no longer to cope with life, now just for fun! how wonderfully life changes. i hope you keep writing your tags, i’ll keep reading them.

hey anon -

sorry for taking so long in answering this. first i want to say thank you so so so much for taking the time to send this. i dont think you understand how happy it made me. i literally told my therapist about this ask lmao. like how much it means when writing helps people see and be seen and feel like they're not alone. so, thank you. like. truly. thats a vulnerable thing to share and honestly this means so much to me.

i actually have been thinking for a bit on how to answer this without sounding like a Patronizing Old Person and throwing around some useless cliches like 'your 20s suck (which is true, imo)' or 'it will get better once you're older! (which is true for me, but not for everyone lol so.)'

so here's something a touch more sincere, anon. i'm proud of you. to grow like this, to fight and claw through dramatic changes in life even though it hurts like a motherfucker - that's huge. that's your character arc. like my early 20s and undergrad were truly the worst years of my life, i was going from rock bottom to rock bottom like that running gag of someone falling down eternal stairs and if someone said 'haha yeah that blows but in like 10 years, you're gonna look back on this and say 'getting through that, fighting through that, it made me the person that i am. that was becoming. and it was worth it.' i would probably bite them.

however.

that sounds so shitty and so hard and so emotionally taxing and i feel for you anon. i really do. your early 20s (at least for me) was the first time i left home and every stupid-ass decision i made was MY failure. and shit it felt like a LOT of failures. so. you are SO not alone. the closest people in my life, including my current husband and life-long friends were walking red flags for MANY years.

AND. in like 10 years, you're gonna look back on this and say 'getting through that, fighting through that, it made me the person that i am. that was becoming. and it was worth it.

keep fighting the good fight, anon. i'm rooting for you, always.

[twoa-plus]

stanford pines & npd

i have been thinking about this for a WHILE so figured i should finally make a post about it. obligatory i am not a doctor i’m just yapping, if any of the info/wording here is wrong lmk :)

i don’t have a problem with “ford has npd” headcanons, a lot of the reasons people give are completely valid and i think it has a lot of potential in adding depth to his character, but there’s also a lot of times i see it and it seems like the op just doesn’t understand ford as a character and/or npd. so !! here’s a couple of counterpoints/things to consider :D

a lot of his social issues (especially his struggles with empathy & difficulty connecting to people who are different from him) can easily be attributed to autism. like the dude definitely has an ego problem but that’s not the only thing to him, he’s a Person. not every problem he has with other people is because he just thinks he’s Better Than Them - he does genuinely have issues connecting with others, and his personality can make it seem like he just doesn’t care. there seems to be this issue online/in fandom of needing people to be complete social butterflies, the perfect image of nail-biting, hand-wringing social anxiety, or shut-in misanthropes, but people & their relationships are more complicated than that. ford doesn’t fit into any of those categories - he’s neither super sociable nor anxious, but that doesn’t by default mean his isolation from others is wanted or comes from a place of superiority. he just has trouble bonding with people outside of shared interests, which is really common in autism. the entire dd&md episode is ford going completely overboard with this ttrpg because he’s “gone a while without a friend,” which just ,, doesn’t fit with someone that Doesn’t Care. dd&md doesn’t have anything to do with his work, he’s not testing dipper to make sure he’s worthy of his company or whatever, he’s just having fun with someone who likes the same things as him - that’s the only way he really knows to spend time with people. that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love mabel or stan, and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to bond or connect with them, and it doesn’t mean he thinks he’s above them - he just doesn’t know how to express that. every day i wake up and i think about how ford wanted stan to play dd&md with them and i cry

(as a side note bc i think this needs more explanation here - no, i genuinely don’t think ford, deep down, thinks he’s better than stan. stan has a lot of good qualities and i’m sure ford is aware of that *cough cough his ability to bond with the kids cough cough*, they just have a really strained relationship. it’s not just ford being mad at stan, either - stan has his own reasons for being upset with ford. between the 40 years worth of tension and them Being Siblings i think it’s really easy to take ford’s attitude towards him as a superiority thing when imo it’s closer to having 2 five year olds in the backseat of a car going “HE TOUCHED ME !!” “HE TOUCHED ME FIRST !!!” “NUH-UH !!!!” lol)

autism aside, that previous part has a lot of mentions of ford having an “ego problem” or “superiority complex” etc etc, which are usually some pretty big points people bring up with him having npd - but npd is a lot more complicated than that. this is where the “i’m not a doctor” disclaimer becomes really important - this is based on my own very limited understanding of npd, so take it with a grain of salt lol. that being said i’m not gonna talk abt actual npd too much for obvious reasons, but i do have one thing to point out, that being the core/root issue/whatever else u wanna call it of npd. from what i understand, people with npd have very low self-worth, and their behaviors come from a place of wanting others’ attention and approval as a stand-in or replacement of their own self image. this ,, isn’t something i think ford has a problem with. i don’t think his confidence in himself or his abilities is a facade (which is ok!! he’s made mistakes, sure, but the dude has done a lot of genuinely impressive things in his life), and - this might sound a little crazy but hear me out - i don’t think he actually cares that much about what others think of him. yeah, there’s all that stuff in journal 3 about him wanting to be the next Big Scientist or whatever, but i honestly think that was his father’s dream, not his. i’ve talked about this before, but filbrick having a preference for ford doesn’t mean he was suddenly a present and caring father towards him - both of the stans desperately wanted him to love them. a lot of people point to stan’s decisions in his 20s-30s - his scams, his criminal record, etc - as a manifestation of that desperation (“don’t come back until you’ve made us a fortune” or whatever), which is a point i think is completely valid. to add to that, though, the journals were written around the same time period, and i think ford’s aspirations of becoming a world-renowned scientist are his own version of that. filbrick wanted stan to make money, so that’s what stan wanted, too. filbrick wanted ford to be some super successful science guy (so he could make money), so that’s what ford wanted, too. by the time of the series ford doesn’t really seem to care that much - sure, he wants the kids to like him and whatnot, but that’s normal. outside of that he’s this total hermit who seems pretty content to just hang out in the basement and do his own thing lol

a smaller little note to close this on, a disturbing amount of npd hcs seem to come from people who just ,, don’t like ford. which is fine, you don’t have to like him or anything, but maybe don’t drag an irl condition into it? like i said npd is a lot more complicated than just being mean and thinking ur better than everyone else. its fine if u see those traits in ford, i can’t get inside ur head and rewire ur brain to like him lol, but maybe consider just phrasing it as “he’s mean” instead of “he’s a narcissist”? idk, it just kinda rubs me the wrong way when people like. diagnose him with npd and then use that as their “therefore he is Bad and i Don’t Like Him” point lol

alright that’s it i think drink water or whatever my head hurts and i hate writing outros so i simply Will Not