#seeing as how nicknames trevor likes to give in canon

[ineedmoretrevorcardcontent]

Is this anything?

[siriusleee]

vi. klaxon

Zombie Apocalypse AU | SIMON RILEY x f!READER

↳SUMMARY: The world is trying to knit itself back together after fracturing apart. You're trying to put yourself back together with it; Simon Riley is just trying to stay alive. ↳WORD COUNT: 1.6K ↳TAGS: mentions of cannibalism, mentions of shooting things, mentions of dying. smut to come. canon typical violence to come. additional tags to come as the story progresses. female reader. no mentions of "your name". reader is given a nickname later on.nc-17. ↳AUTHOR'S NOTE: Much shorter than usual, but hey, we can only do what we can do. ↳TAG LIST: There will not be a tag list for this story, as Tumblr has issues with letting me tag people. To get notifications of updates, please subscribe on AO3 or turn on notifications for my blog.

additional chapters | ao3

It’s like waking up in an alternative universe; it takes your eyes and brain a solid minute to remember that you shouldn’t be waking up to the sight of trees and clapboard buildings. Somewhere between awake and sleep, you’d started dreaming about your winter camp and everyone who used to travel with you. 

Darren. Alyssa. Trevor. Caleb. James. 

The memories of them push you out of bed. The concrete floor is freezing beneath your feet. The clothes you were given the day before are still folded neatly on the floor beside your pack; you were clean for the first time in years and you didn’t want to sweat in your sleep. 

You try to finger comb your hair, but it snags on the tangles; you give up halfway through and throw it up with a piece of elastic you ripped from a pair of old underwear you found in a pharmacy a few months ago. Someone around here must have a pair of scissors sharp enough to give you a decent enough haircut. 

Through the little window, you can see the sun is watery - you have to find your jacket despite how ratty it is. Winter is rolling in way too fast for you to be without one. The last time you’d seen it, it was at the end of the bed in the med bay - you’d left it behind in the sudden surprise at waking up in an unfamiliar location. 

The hallway is already empty; the sound of your boots reverberates off of the empty walls. It’s like walking through a crypt; you can almost imagine eyes peering down at you from the dusty corners of the place. 

Frost covers the grass and it crunches beneath your feet. Your stomach rumbles and you wonder if there’s anything for breakfast to eat in the mess hall. Just crossing the little courtyard turns the tip of your nose frozen, and your fingers stiff. The med bay is unlocked, and inside it's as freezing as it is outside. There are no lights on - no doubt that even though they still have electricity, it must not be able to run all the time. 

You prop the door open with a rock so that just a little bit of light filters into the room. Your breath fogs up around your face, and you do your best not to trip and fall. The medical equipment glows in the weak sunlight pouring in from the doorway. You retrace your steps from the day before. There, at the end of the bed you had been placed on, is your jacket. It’s still coated in dirt and mud, but it’ll keep you warm for the time being. You wrap it around your shoulders, the smell of the forest surrounding you. 

A choking shout cuts through the med bay, broken off after half a second. A sliver of ice slides through your veins - it came from behind the med bay, through the thick concrete wall. It can’t be the mess hall directly on that side - Ghost had taken you around the entire building to get there yesterday. There’s a set of double doors, thick, durable metal that leads into an unknown part of the building. In the past, it would have been something that would overtake you with curiosity, and you’d be compelled to open the doors, but now they give you the creeps.

There’s a crash against the wall, and it makes you jump. The doors at the end of the med bay open, and you scramble backward, dropping down to your knees. Heavy footfalls cross the concrete floor as you skitter beneath the medical beds, squeezing between the thick shadows between the two of them. You press yourself onto the floor, trying to blend in with the shadows. You press your mouth into your forearm to muffle your breath. You have no idea if it’s alright for you to be here, and you don’t want to find out. 

The person’s face is shadowed, but from the lilt of their body, you think it might be Doc. You watch them walk towards the front door; the sound of the rock you used to prop the door open being kicked out of the way fills the room and the heavy door slams shut.

The only sound in the room is your breathing as you wait to see if the door will open again, and if anyone will strut back through; the seconds into minutes and no one interrupts the silence. Scrambling to your feet, you jerk your jacket up and exit without a sideways glance to see if anyone's noticed you sneaking out of the Med Bay. You're alone in the little courtyard.

The Dining Hall is almost empty - the food is nearly gone as you grab a mismatched plate and try to even your breathing. Two women crowed in the corner together point at you without abashment, and you ignore them as you peer at the little breakfast: potatoes cubed and boiled, steamed cabbage, and some kind of white bean. Your stomach grumbles; it's no Belgian waffle with syrup, but you put just enough on your plate to carry you over and find a spot to sit out of the line of sight of the women who are still staring at you. 

You're spearing the beans one by one, trying to make their earthy flavor last on your tongue when the shape of Ghost fills the Dining Hall door. You do your best to ignore him as you move on to the potatoes, cutting the cubes into smaller pieces and thinking about how they'd taste drowned in butter. 

"You should have woken up earlier," he says, standing on the opposite side of the table as you. 

"I'll remember to tell the valet to wake me up earlier tomorrow."

The sarcasm feels good on your tongue - a weight you didn't realize you missed carrying. Ghost settles onto his heels; above the dirty white of the skeleton, his eyebrows crinkle. The wrinkle they form is natural like he was born with it. You can imagine him as a baby, soft and sweet with that little wrinkle between his eyes.

The silence is unnerving; you scrape your fork against the plastic plate just for a sound. The two women in the corner stare at the two of you, and you realize they're waiting for you to finish eating so that they can clean up. You scarf the last few bites down and resist the urge to lick the plate clean. You hardly have the last bite in your mouth before Ghost snatches the plate from the table.

He doesn't have to tell you to follow him, you just do. He hands the plates to one of the women: a pretty blonde who looks at him with barely contained awe. The look on her face irritates you, and you resist the urge to say something to her.

"I'm going to show you around," Ghost says, pulling you back outside. The mud on your jacket cracks and falls off in clumps as you slide it on to avoid the chill.

"How many people live here?"

It's a struggle to keep up with Ghost's stride; it takes two steps for you to keep up with his one. The soreness in your legs is still there, but the feeling of warm food and a safe night's sleep fills you enough to ignore it.

"Depends."

He doesn't finish his sentence, but his steps slow enough that you can fall into line with him. You follow him around the edge of the building to the part of the base you haven't been able to explore. To your left the gate the two of you arrived in yawns above the two of you; the fence disappears into the distance, behind more brick buildings. 

"The garden is over here,” he says, gesturing to a chain link fence in the middle of a grouping of squat buildings. Inside the fence, women kneel in the dirt. Burlap sacks cover some plants, and others are being pruned by a few men. 

“That’s the storage locker,” Ghost points at a building just on the other side of the garden. A pair in ratty black fatigues sit outside, guns slung across their shoulders. 

“It’s guarded at all times?”

Ghost nods, lifting one hand to wave in response to one of the guards who waves at him.

The rest of the tour is quick: a second set of unused bunks, a building full of cars and trucks that look mostly unused, and the generators (also behind two guards who look like they haven’t slept in years). The last place he takes you is the armory; you spot your bow locked up behind the iron bars, the few arrows you had left leaning against the wall.

“Can I get that back?” You ask, fingers lingering on the cold metal of the lock. Ghost shakes his head; you don’t miss the way his fingers roll together, and you wonder if he’s wishing for a cigarette. 

“When you need it.”

His replies are infuriating you; you envision yourself kicking him in the back of the knee as you follow him out of the doorway. The sun is directly overhead by the time the two of you make it back outside. You flex your fingers in the rays, drinking in the little warmth that it brings in. 

You’re going to ask Ghost what next - a question that you’re not sure borders on the philosophical or the practical - when there’s a sound like a klaxon that comes through the entire compound. Ghost’s shoulders stiffen, head tilted just so. A second alarm repeats through the compound, and he walks away from you without a word.

“What is that?” You ask, jogging to catch up to him. His steps are quick, and it takes the breath away from you to keep up with him.

“They’re back.”

[staceymcgillicuddy]

okay wait also before i go to bed: babysitters club au please. bonus points for including at least one ridiculous outfit description here. triple bonus if the outfit includes a jaunty beret with like a sequined tiger appearing to leap from chrissy's forehead at some point. (sorry for plagiarizing u, ann m. martin. probably.)

YES EXCELLENT. OKAY. My brain immediately went to mapping the characters onto their BSC counterparts and then this happened.

Nancy Wheeler as Kristin Amanda Thomas. I will not be taking comments at this time.

Chrissy as Mary-Anne Spier. HEAR ME OUT, because I know Chrissy is aesthetically the Stacey BUT Mary-Anne is quiet and reserved until you piss her off and then she turns into Little Miss I Love Myself and gets sassy haircuts and is the only member of the BSC with a boyfriend AND if she's Mary Anne I can kill off Laura.

For Claudia Lynn Kishi, I'm going back and forth on El or Will, because El has a very unique sense of fashion, and would probably do well with some of Claudia's canonical outfits, while Will is a talented artist who probably needs his own phone line since he keeps breaking his mother's when he calls her from the Upside Down.

Argyle as Dawn Read Schafer because he has long hair and is from California and some people find him annoying but I like him.

Steve as Anastasia "Stacey" Elizabeth "Boontsie" McGill because if he was from New York City he'd probably talk a lot about being from New York City. Also he probably has the nickname Boontsie.

Barb as Mallory Pike because Mallory is a horse girl and Barb gives me big horse girl energy. (Also lol that Mallory doesn't have a middle name? I guess her parents forgot? I don't really care for Mallory.)

Max as Jessi Davis Ramsey because nobody on Stranger Things is canonically a dancer BUT Jessi was cool and precocious and hung out with older kids while being suave, just like Max.

Erica as Shannon Louisa Kilbourne because she gets. shit. done. and you can't spell America without Erica. Seriously, though, Shannon was a high-achieving mfer with no patience for fools.

Eddie as Logan Bruno SIMPLY for Mary Anne proximity but also because I think making Logan a metalhead would be the most interesting thing that anyone ever did for Logan's character.

Robin as Abby Stevenson because she showed up late in the series, stole my heart, and is definitely a lesbian. Abby also doesn't have a middle name, so that's fun.

This leaves me with Lucas, Mike, Jonathan, and Dustin if I'm doing main cast. SORRY, KIDS. Let's see how many "other" characters I remember from Stoneybrook.

Lucas as Sam Thomas because Sam seemed cool and was kind of a jock but still had time to flirt inappropriately with Stacey, but in this universe we'll say it's APPROPRIATE flirting with Max-as-Jessi and Lucas-as-Sam is 11 not 15.

Mike as Trevor Sandbourne because IIRC Trevor dated Claudia for a while which works if you are a Byler OR a Mileven shipper, which probably says a lot about why both those ships are fun!

Jonathan as Bart Taylor because of the Nancy proximity, only instead of coaching a kid's softball team, he takes pictures for the yearbook and Nancy, in addition to running the BSC, a softball team, solving 70 mysteries, and going on many trips around the world in various Super Specials, is also the editor of the yearbook.

Dustin as Janine Kishi simply because Janine was a geek who liked computers and shit, and Dustin enjoys such things. I'm sorry, Dustin! The BSC did not have as many nerd tropes as I needed!

Bonus:

Angela as Cokie Mason because fuck her

Jason as Alan Gray because Alan is the closest thing the series has to a real dick

Billy as Robert Brewster (if you're into Harringrove and subscribe to my Steve-as-Stacey theory) because they dated.

Anyway, this took FAR longer than it should have and I am like 30% proud of it. Please be gentle.

[gallavichthings]

Gift Requests are in!

Here are the requests received for the Gallavich Gift Giving Game 2020!

For artists and writers: read the requests, choose one, and send me a message!

I’ll be updating this post with the “taken” requests as often as possible. Please note that a request being taken doesn’t prevent anyone from getting it again. Requests aren’t exclusive. I’m just marking the ones already chosen to give those not chosen a better chance of being picked.

Also, you can post at any time, just please @ me and the person who you you’re giving your art to (or just their nickname if you don’t have their @). If you want to post on a different website and just link it here, that’s alright too (and if you don’t have a Tumblr, just submit the link and a description to me)

For people requesting: please don’t be upset if your request isn’t immediately chosen. They’ll stay up for grabs indefinitely. 

Please check all the requests after the Read More:

1.(from @filorux​) I would love to get a fic of my favourite trope: Ian is stuck in an abusive relationship with someone else, but Mickey manages to get Ian to come to his senses, leave the dude and be with him instead. Bonus things I would love to see in it if possible:- Mickey and Ian being childhood friends and have secret crush on each other but never acted upon - either because they were scared its not reciprocated and hence ruin their friendship, or just didn’t realise it was a love more than friendship/family - since they knew each other for so long.- high school setting would be great but doesn’t have to be - Bottom!Ian would make my day !- Mickey Mouse plushy involved, somehow 😂

2. (from Mia) fan art in which Ian worship Mickey’s ass (the artist could use her/his imagination and decide how to do it). I don’t want any of them has beard or feminine clothes and accessories.

3. (from Sunny)  I would love a fic with Ian and Mickey (married). I would love for it to include Mpreg Mickey (if you write that) and Mickey is in labour. He and Ian are having a home birth just before Christmas. If you don’t write mpreg could you please write one about Mickey dealing with his and Ian’s adopted 12 year daughter getting her first period. Nothing is a trigger. 

4. (from Ass Scars) fic prompt: Jealous Ian and possessive sex. No mpreg or bottom Ian.

5. (from @yellowcerulean​)  I would love a fic where Mickey is convinced to go to a raucous Halloween screening of Rocky Horror Picture Show and watches Ian perform the Rocky character. What happens from there can be a surprise but smut, humor, and jealousy all welcome! 

6. (from @zutaralesbian​)  My request for the Gallavich gift giving thing: A fic where Ian is a famous actor and Mickey is his bodyguard or head of security. Bonus points if they're already having a secret friends with benefits arrangement but both secretly want more. Lots of mutual pinning.

7. (from Fallfire)  I’ve seen fan fictions where they had Mickey run into Trevor as the ex-boyfriend, but what I’d like to see is Mickey coming back (not breaking out like canon) while Ian’s still dating Trevor (or around the time Trevor says “I’ve got enough friends...”). One of the things that I have yet to see (maybe I’ve missed them) is something dealing with how manipulative Trevor was and I think that Mickey would’ve seen that. Preferred gallavich ending of course. 

8. (from @silvanshadow​)  Ian and Mickey trying to decide what to buy with the Bed, Bath, and Beyond gift card they received as a wedding present.

9. (from @fandomfix8​) the prompt is: "your body is a symphony" (which is a quote from the song The Calendar). I'm looking for some form of body worship basically. To be clear it is NOT a requirement that it be smutty, it could be an ode to mickey's eyes and i'll be happy. the only big requirement i have is that they be together, if you want to write secondary ships, have them be in the PAST

10. (from @thehonorarybeaumont) Ian and Mickey baking together. Cookies, bread, brownies, special brownies, whatever, I just want them to bake - or attempt to bake - together. It works as a fanart or as a one-shot, I’d love either!

11. (from TimoSLAYY on Twitter)  fanart: I wanna see if somebody can do a NSFW, either cowboy or collapsed, lazy doggy. 

12. (from KretikaPillai on Twitter) fic prompt -  love this song so much and i think it describes their relationship from both perspectives, especially mickey’s post season 5, anything based off this would be amazing. i’d love something that covers the intensity and almost cosmic feel of their relationship so far. the way they’ve grown with their relationship, and how they always come back to each other, the “you’re it for me” undertone that has always existed with them. how they’re able to calm each other down and tell what the other person is feeling. it would be a plus if it had the committed relationship type stuff. general domesticity (sizzlers date???). meta of their characters and the thought process behind their actions and having them talk about their feelings & past would be amazing!! ian & mickey bonding individually and as a couple w the other gallaghers is great too, love family time and the early shameless solidarity that the family had. 

[striveattemptfail]

Football Vs. Husband: Which Do You Know Better? | Zimbits ft. Tater, G, 1.8k

Summary: Bitty gets quizzed on two of his favourite things: Jack and...... football?

Based on the Buzzfeed video of the same name. Takes place sometime in Sept-Oct 2019. Minor spoilers for 4.25 Faber and 4.26 Check, Please! (If you can call em spoilers LOL.)

Read on Ao3

A/N: Fun fact: At the time I wrote this (2017), it was set in the “future” (2019), but now that year is literally the past for us hahahahahahskfjasldfjasldfjklaskdfj. In the fic summary I say “minor spoilers” because what I originally wrote as wish fulfillment in 2017 became canon in 2020.

Anyway, this is a near verbatim copy of Ned Fulmer getting quizzed on his wife vs football—like fr some of the dialogue is exactly the same LOL. Thanks to @smol0ctopus​ for the beta and the omg stream! please server for advice!<3 Any other mistakes are mine.

YouTube transcript of Football Vs. Husband (Check, Please! #151: A Falconers Special!) [Descriptive captions by biittyyreciipees, airhockeycanbeviolent, and f4lcsboy: Check, Please! Captioning Team]

Eric Hey, y’all! Didja miss me? Because I sure did miss you! Now, today’s video is a lil special. Y’all’ll see that I’ve got myself some lovely guests here from Providence’s own Falconers team. (gestures towards Jack and Tater) Say hi guys!

Tater (waves) Hi!

Jack (single nod, smiles) Hello.

Eric I’ve got here regular guest and my husband, Jack Zimermann, and his teammate, Alexei Mashkov—

Tater But you call me Tater!

Eric (laughs) But we call him Tater! Tater, why don’t you explain what’ll happen here today?

Tater Is collaboration with Falcs TV! We had special tournament to see if players knows their SOAPs more than favorite thing.

ONSCREEN CAPTION SOAPs = Significant Others And Partners, for all y’all non-hockey fans out there! Click here (highlighted annotation inserted) to watch the tournament on the Falconer’s official website or check this video’s description!

Eric I had me such a great time over on Falcs TV with Jack that I wanted to share the fun with y’all here!

Tater (nods) Zimmboni crush everyone in tournament!

ONSCREEN CAPTION “Zimmboni” is Jack’s hockey nickname, like “Tater” is for Alexei. Everyone on the team has one! In fact, I have one too: Bitty! But Alexei likes to call me “B”.

Jack (shrugs, gives small smile) I know history. I know my husband.

Eric (laughs, blushes)

Tater Now, is time to see if B know Zimmboni just as much!

Eric I’m feelin’ pretty confident that I do. What do you think, sweetpea?

Jack I think Bits knows me better than myself, to be honest.

Eric Jack! (blushing again)

Tater Yes, yes, is very cute! But I’m want to ask questions now, yes?

Eric (turns to camera) Now, I tried to get ‘em to quiz me on baking—because y’all and your mama know that I love it—but Jack here insisted that I get asked about football instead.

Jack Baking’s too easy. I figured you’d appreciate the challenge. You know a lot about American football, eh?

Eric (rolls eyes) “American football”—I know y’all in Canada just call it football too! Now, I’d argue, but that’ll take up the rest of this video, so I guess it’s time to get to the quiz!

Tater Yes!

(video transition with dramatic music)

Tater (holds up stack of cards in hands) Here, I’m hold questions about NFL and college football, plus questions about Zimmboni for B to answer. Like during Falcs’ tournament, I’m ask SOAP about their favorite subject first, then ask about their partner. B, is ready?

Eric As I’ll ever be!

Jack Gonna crush it, Bits.

Eric Let’s hope so, sweetheart.

Tater Will be good, B, I’m sure! Question one, name five offensive positions in the NFL.

Eric Lord, how easy—quarterback, running back, wide receiver, offensive tackle, tight end.

ONSCREEN CAPTION Score: 5/5

Tater See, B! You be fine! Name five of Zimmboni’s favourite foods.

Eric Ooh, alright. So PB&J sandwiches, chicken tenders... scrambled eggs, uh, cassoulet... (Caption Note: French food pronunciation is not butchered, because food)

ONSCREEN CAPTION Score: 4/5

Tater One more, B.

Eric Hm, let’s see—

Tater (snickers) Remember this easiest question in stack.

Eric Oh, hush, you.

Jack Bits? Maybe a dessert?

Eric (hits head with base of palm) Oh, goodness me, right! Maple sugar crusted apple pie.

ONSCREEN CAPTION Score: 5/5

Tater (nods) Yes. Okay, how many minutes in football quarter?

ONSCREEN CAPTION Answer: Quarters in the NFL and NCAA football are 15 minutes.

Eric 15 minutes.

Tater How long is Zimmboni’s pre-game ritual?

ONSCREEN CAPTION Answer: 15 minutes max. Like all athletes, hockey players have specific rituals before their games.

Eric About thirty minutes?

Tater (whooping laughter) 15 minutes, max.

Jack (laughs)

Eric (gasps, shakes head) That is not true, that can not be true! Honey, I’ve seen you take 15 minutes making your pre-game PBJ sandwiches. (scoffs)

Jack (makes a face)

Tater Sorry, B. Must give big zero for that question.

Eric (rolls eyes) Hmph!

Tater B, you get 20 seconds—name as many starting quarterbacks in the NFL as possible. Ready, set, go!

Eric Matt Ryan, Aaron Rodgers, Josh Allen, Philip Rivers, Tom Brady—ugh—Baker Mayfield, Derek Carr, Carson Palmer.

ONSCREEN CAPTION Score: 8

Tater Have 10 seconds, name as many as Zimmboni’s lineys when he finally move to first line.

ONSCREEN CAPTION Lineys = Hockey linemates. Fun fact: Jack moved from third to first line during his first season in the Falcs back in 2015!

Eric (opens mouth)

Tater But! Must name them by nickname!

Eric (single nod, determined expression)

Tater Okay? Ready, set, go!

Eric Alright so excluding Jack, that’ll be you, Tater, then we got Marty, Thirdy, Guy, and Snowy if you count the goalies!

Tater (solemnly nods) Always count goalies!

Eric Then that’s five for five. Gettin’ a lil easy there!

ONSCREEN CAPTION Score: 5/5

Tater Haha! Okay, who are on cover of Sports Illustrated for this season’s NFL and college previews?

ONSCREEN CAPTION Answer: Jarvis Landry and Odell Beckham Jr. were on the cover for the NFL preview. Trevor Lawrence was on the cover for the college preview.

Eric Oh, Coach and I were just talkin’ about this! I know the NFL preview was Odell Beckham Jr. and Jarvis Landry, but the college preview... (brief pause, placing chin on fist contemplatively) I think it’s Trevor Lawrence?

Tater Correct! What magazine cover did Zimmboni appear on first?

ONSCREEN CAPTION Answer: Trick question! Jack’s first ever appearance on a magazine cover was not as a hockey player. He first appeared on People Magazine as a baby with his parents, Robert “Bad bob” Zimmermann and Alicia Zimmermann.

Eric Can I ask a question?

Tater ...no.

Eric Well, shoot, alright. If you mean his first cover as an athlete, I’ll say Sports Illustrated, but if you mean his first one ever I think it’s People Magazine when he was a baby.

Tater (censored beep) Wow!

Jack (raises eyebrows) You remember that?

Eric Well, you told me! And Alicia did show me when we visited for Christmas one year. (smug smirk)

Jack (covers face in hand, exasperated sigh) Of course she did.

Tater Next question! How many Super Bowl rings does Tom Brady have?

Eric Oh goodness. I think it’s five?

Tater Six!

Eric What?

Tater Is six!

Eric (groans) Of course it’s six. Whatever, it’s fine, I try not to think about Tom Brady anyway. I don’t mind getting this one wrong. In fact, I’m kinda glad because I certainly don’t care for the man. Like, who—

Jack Bits. We’re in the middle of a game right now?

Eric (blushes) Oh, right.

Tater It’s alright, B, haha. But we move on with game now, yes? (single nod) Now, how many rings Zimmboni normally wear?

ONSCREEN CAPTION Answer: 1.

Eric One! He usually just wears his wedding ring, but today he’s got his 2016 Stanley ring! Wanna show it off, honey?

Jack (sheepishly holds up hands to show the two rings)

ONSCREEN CAPTION Fun fact: The team who wins the Stanley Cup get matching rings. Jack got his first one when the Falcs won the Cup in 2016!

Tater Is tough one now: How many times have the Atlanta Falcons made the playoffs?

ONSCREEN CAPTION Answer: 14.

Eric (sighs) Oh Lordy, that's hard. Alright, so by the time I was born they were at five so— (voice continues in fast forward) —they did in ‘98, then... ‘02? After was 2004, not 2005, or ‘06... so the next one was 2008. Then there was that streak from 2010 to 2012. Then the next one was 2016, and then ‘17. Not ‘18 and ‘19. So that’s... (begins to count on fingers)

Tater (back to regular speed, looking impressed) You have answer, B?

Eric I'm gonna go with fourteen as of this year.

Tater (censored beep)!!!

Eric (laughs)

Jack (censored beep), Bittle.

Tater Is amazing! You have both number and years!

Eric I’m Southern, and my daddy’s a football coach. (shrugs) Can’t help it!

Jack (chuckles) This is why I wanted you to answer stuff about the football instead of baking.

Eric (rolls eyes, swats Jack’s arm) Oh, this boy.

Tater Next question! What is most number of times Zimmboni fight in one season?

ONSCREEN CAPTION Answer: 3 fights.

Eric Ooh, shoot. I should know this one too, huh? Okay, so his first season he only got in one fight— (voice continues in fast forward) —and second season was also one, I think. After that, uhh, I think he finally got in two. Last year was three maybe? And this season hasn’t even started. But last year? Was it three? I don’t quite—hm.

Tater (back to regular speed) Your answer, B?

Eric I’m gonna go with three fights for last season.

Tater (shaking his head)

Jack What did I say?

Tater (censored beep) Is correct. (huffs) What year did Falcons join the NFL?

ONSCREEN CAPTION Answer: 1965.

Eric Uhhh, oh goodness, I know Coach told me this at some point... (pause) I think it was 1965?

Tater Correct! What year Zimmboni first try skating?

ONSCREEN CAPTION Answer: 1992. Fun fact: Bad Bob had Jack skating as soon as Jack could walk!

Eric Skating, huh? ‘Cause I’ll bet the son of Bad Bob tried on his first skates before he even turned one, huh? (smiles cheekily)

Jack (nudges with elbow, gives Eric a small smile) Not the question.

Eric Oh alright, not the question. Hmm, I know it was before you turned three so, I’ll say... (drawling out answer) nineteen-ninety... two?

Tater (throws cards out of hand, shaking his head) Is correct again!

Eric Oh my god!

(high pitched sound as Eric fist pumps the air)

Jack (laughs, bringing an arm around Eric before kissing his cheek)

Tater B, I'm frustrate to say you know Zimmboni as much as you know football.

ONSCREEN CAPTION FINAL SCORE: Football = 6, Husband = 6. T I E ! ! !

Jack Knew it. Told you so, Bits.

Eric That sounds like a chirp, and I will not have that on my vlog, Mr. Zimmermann. So with that, I guess we’re done! (looks towards camera, claps once) Well, that about does it for today’s video! Thank you so much to my special guests, Providence Falconers’ Jack Zimermann and Alexei Mashkov, for joining me today. (gestures towards Jack and Tater)

Tater (nods with a wide smile) Thanks for having us, B!

Jack (smiles and nods) Always great to be here.

Eric Be sure to check out the Falcs TV videos too! Link in the description or right over here! (points to space, highlighted annotation inserted) And thanks for tuning in! Next week, I’ll have a new video for y’all on the best ways to add protein to your favourite sandwiches.

(Eric, Jack, and Tater wave at the camera)

Eric Bye, y’all! See ya next time!

(More notes on Ao3.)

[greetingsfromeboncreek]

In my defense, I was literally asked.

So, I have actually been asked about my LGBTQ+ headcanons for Suppression. I shall now recite from my massive, ancient textb- ok no, I’m kidding, Iggy was my most detailed one, but here’s some others I’ve been kicking around under the cut:

So first and foremost, I want to be clear: There doesn’t have to be a REASON to make someone gay or transgender of asexual or whatever. There is no reason for these things in real life after all, people just are. You can be a rocket scientist or a wrestler or a pigeon breeder and just happen to be someone who was assigned a different gender at birth as well. It happens. That’s not to say that there isn’t a culture and some common trends that go along with it, but the point I’m trying to make is that just because I’m noting my favorite characters to think these sorts of things about here, you could literally make ANYONE LGBT. There’s no checkboxes you have to tick before you get your lesbian license.

...but if there was, Sam would have like 3 of them.

ANYWAY so yeah that’s the first one: 1. Everyone is gay and transgender. All of them. All at the same time. Figure it out.

Also, even if any of these WERE canon, I wouldn’t expect it to come up very often either? Suppression is a very action based comic, I don’t think there’s a lot of downtime for characters to be like “ANYWAY, I’m going on a date with ANOTHER GUY this Wednesday because that’s HOW I ROLL.” Because that would be. Weird. Still, sometimes an offhand mention can go a long way.

To organize this a little bit better though, I’m going to split it into “Characters who I think could or should be X, Y, and/or Z” and “Characters where I wouldn’t do that unless a lot of effort was put into pulling it off well.” Personal dos and don’ts, pretty much.

For characters who I think are or could be LGBT, well, like I said, it’s fun to imagine just about anyone, and I think making a character some type of LGBT can add a really fun element to someone that ordinarily would be a little bit boring. In this case though, I’m expressing only my thoughts on the ones that either have some sort of written element that could be taken as supporting my headcanon, or ones where I think it would play well with their pre-established traits and desires. So, without further ado:

1. Samantha Wight is a lesbian, in both continuities but ESPECIALLY the reboot, god. I think this one is most obvious when you compare the version of her that existed in the preboot timeline in comparison to the reboot. And for that, I’ve got to talk about the Wights a bit, or at least as how they were in the preboot. 

They come off to me as… well, deeply repressed, unhappy, and (let’s be honest, most likely) very conservative people. They all want something out of life and want to be proud of themselves and their family, but are so deadlocked in trying to “maintain the family tradition and honor” and whatnot that they end up dragging each other back down into that depressive pit. There’s plenty of examples of this; Alaster is very proud of being a Wight and their traditions of burning and pillaging, but hates what his family has become and how they treat each other. He tries very hard to be a good role model for his younger relatives even though he’s unable to get out from under his father’s thumb himself. Meredith is incredibly enthusiastic (and gifted!) about her family’s magic traditions and history but is constantly facing snotty, belittling remarks about how airheaded she is from Samantha. In addition, it’s clear her dad and uncle don’t understand her in the slightest, let alone have a shred of respect for her (or if they do, it's for her use as a resource or tool and not as a person with her own merits). Jericho thinks the Wights are already great, but is increasingly frustrated with the fact that his beliefs mean absolutely nothing in the wider world and he doesn’t actually have the power to do anything about it. Heck, even Arthur had a line that implied a LOT about how he and Max were raised- how he didn’t really want to be a necromancer, but picked it so he could “get out of what Dad had (Max) doing”. It gives off the impression that no matter how powerful a Wight you are, your life gets set in stone at birth and you aren’t changing it, no matter how hard you try, and those traditional roles are HARSH. I wouldn’t be surprised if Alaster wasn’t the only Wight that got quietly offed when they stepped out of line, that’s for sure. 

Needless to say, I would imagine it would be pretty much impossible to come out as anything in that sort of environment… provided that you managed to get out enough to learn about that stuff to start with. And Sam definitely appears to be one of the worst victims of this. She died really young. While Meredith and Alaster might have gotten to go to a public school or at least hit the mall every once in a while, she probably spent every second since the day she died locked up in the mansion because… well, zombies aren’t supposed to exist. Unable to go anywhere, do anything of value, make any friends… it’s really no wonder her nihilism cranked up to 11 in just a decade or so. Not to mention (especially in comparison to the reboot), there’s no way she can buy her own clothes, so she’s literally just a Wight themed dress up doll. She has the Wight family logos literally all over her- bones in her dress, the skull on her head and shoes, a Wight crest on her necklace, most of them oversized for her stature. Literally weighing her down in a poofy dress that makes her look adorable instead of practical. Heck, she’s even drawn in a way depicts how she’s had her agency removed. She’s a Wight, so she definitely HAS the sharp pointy teeth, and yet unlike everyone else in her family you barely ever see them. (If at all- I’m pretty sure you don’t, but I’m not going to go through every page she appears to check.) She’s literally defanged and weighed down by family expectations. It’s no wonder she lashes out at Meredith, who is capable of actually expressing herself to a degree. 

(Also, a smaller side headcanon- I’ve noticed that while the red eyed fangy icon is the Wight family crest, those simplified skulls on Samantha and Meredith’s heads appear a lot as well. I like to think that those were the family crest of Nora’s now extinct bloodline from when she married into the Adigard family. Even though they aren’t the official Wight crest, they’re now considered a sort of secondary crest that’s still carried around out of respect to the maternal lineage, which is why you see it more prominently on the women of the family as well. Is there any textual support for this? No, none, but it’s still fun to think about.)

SO YEAH, Sam in the reboot, wow. Goes by a (notably more gender neutral) nickname instead of the longer and more formal “Samantha”, with her clothing following. Jeans and a t-shirt. Square glasses. Very short hair. The family symbols are now not dragging her down, but smaller accents that she wears to go with her outfit instead of defining it. She’s finally free! She has a job she likes. She takes pride in her skills. She has a favorite sandwich spot and a college education and friends. ...And like, maybe a girlfriend? It would be nice. This is admittedly because her style of hair and dress is… well. Kinda butch. But like I’ve mentioned before, physical appearance is one of the last indicators I like to go for with this. Instead, I prefer to look at it in terms of her personality- outside of the deathgrip of outdated family tradition, Sam can afford to be herself more, and yeah, maybe that involves dating folks with the same gender and wearing blue jeans. This is also kinda supported to a degree by how her siblings haven’t changed that much since the old timeline. Merry’s outfit is pretty much the exact same. Jericho doesn’t have the biohazard suit, but his new outfit still kinda evokes it in the hat, long coat, and boots. He still seems to prefer the same styles, at least. Alaster is pretty different, but that’s more because he’s wearing a uniform more than anything, and with the bandages it’s clear he’s still putting his own personal spin on it. Sam is COMPLETELY different, and it’s a change for the better and happier. So yeah. It would be really fitting if part of that new access to personal freedom was in getting to explore her sexuality as well, and eventually settling down into being a lesbian. It would be a happy ending to Samantha’s story, even Sam’s is only getting started.

2. Arrie is bisexual! What? Who do you think it is that Sam’s dating? But yeah, I ship them pretty hard. Like Sam, Arrie has some pretty big personality differences between her preboot self and current self, Parrios vs. Tinderbolt. Old Arrie seemed to be well versed in politics, able to negotiate and take charge easily even if she was a bit overly formal and her interpersonal skills weren’t QUITE up to snuff. That’s not to say that she couldn’t have been bi, but I also didn’t read her as vibing with anyone all that well. 

Not to turn this into a massive shipping discussion (as that’s not really the topic I’m trying to cover here), but I saw her most interesting potential romantic foils as Trevor and Sally… but neither of them were very likely in practice. She and Trevor were good friends but the last time they spoke in the comic he stuck his own foot in his mouth with her and they never got the opportunity to work things out after that (and even then, there was no sort of… spark implying that they would make each other better as a couple. Seriously, just friends.), which leaves that ship on a particularly sour note. And while she and Sally were FANTASTIC counterparts to each other (rough and tumble demon girl and overly formal and technical elf princess? Sally getting her to slowly loosen up and have fun with it a bit while also reminding her how much her one liners suck? Arrie coming to impress her and earn her respect with fancy spellwork? Hell yeah.), but they only spent maybe an hour tops with each other and didn’t have any opportunity for deeper conversation. Also, that would mean that Sally and Bael wouldn’t be a thing and I refuse to break that couple up.

But Arrie in the reboot? Oh man. Her social awkwardness and getting stuck on details have really been dialed up now that she’s essentially been raised in a classroom and in private study instead of being trained as a politician and dignitary.  She’s no longer a princess, but a magic computer programmer. She’s anxious, stubborn, and definitely has a lot of room to grow. But, that’s where Sam comes in. They’ve known each other since they were little- they definitely know each other’s baggage and have accepted it. They know each other’s hopes and dreams. They spend a ton of time with each other. And yeah, they bring out the best in each other. Sam gets Arrie to leave her room once in a while, and Arrie’s attention to detail means she no doubt always listens to Sam complain long after anyone else would have tuned it out. And yes, you could easily interpret this as mere best friend territory, but wouldn’t it be interesting if it was something more? After all, Sam is really touchy-feely with Arrie even though she’s normally standoffish. She drapes herself all over Arrie in the early pages of the comic, and Arrie barely blinks. Sam threatens to drag her and Arrie is suddenly done with her work, but they’re both smiling about it. Similarly, when Arrie finally pries Sam off of her with magic, Sam just lets Arrie toss her around midair even though they both know she could use it offensively (which Arrie does when tussling with Sally later.). But they both know Arrie would never do that- they trust each other implicitly. Again, could just be friendship, but it’s not difficult to read into it and see a bit more intimacy than that. Additionally, it would really be neat to see them together just from an angle of “Their families used to be bitter enemies, but… well, not for these two, I guess.”

Also, it’s really funny to imagine a copy of that first scene but Sam’s in fancy clothing trying to drag Arrie to their anniversary dinner. For god’s sake Arrie, you’re already in the dress. The runes look FINE. You’re going to miss your reservation, get UP.

(And on another headcanon side-note- If I was going to cosplay as anyone in the comic, it would 100% be Arrie, if just because I have blonde hair and blue eyes and none of her outfits look too crazy to sew and it's not that hard to find elf ears online. With current circumstances though, I don’t think I’ll be doing anything like that any time soon.)

3. Charlie is agender or genderfluid, at least in the preboot timeline. This is less “it just feels right” and more “this is probably the inevitable conclusion of having hundreds of souls with conflicting gender identities stuffed into one body.” He is made up of boys, girls, and people who never got to have enough of a personal identity to make a decision about that sort of thing. Just a big bag of angry ghosts. Considering what happens in the approximate… like… what, six to nine months or so? That he gets to exist, I don’t think he really thought about what gender he was all that hard and probably only went with “he” because that’s what everyone who met him assumed he was. Which, let’s be honest, he’s canonically very emaciated, has long, probably matted hair, and probably has heavily stunted growth due to his upbringing- I think it would actually be pretty hard to figure him out on first glance. I’ve just noticed that people tend to default to “this is a dude” if they don’t know right away. If he had time to think about it though, I think he either a. Honestly would not give a crap, or b. Would just switch his pronouns around depending on how he was feeling that day. Heck, while “Charles” is definitely a guy’s name, I’ve definitely seen “Charlie” used for both. So he wouldn’t even have to change anything there. Still, if you asked him what he identifies as, his answer would probably something like “An Avatar Of Vengeance”, which, while accurate, isn’t the answer most people are looking for. (He knows this. He does it on purpose.) That being said though, I still have no clue what reboot Charlie’s deal is or how many souls he’s got stuffed up in there, but hey! Like I said, anyone can be anything so who’s to say Charlie ISN’T still genderfluid in the current timeline? Could have just been a “dude” day when we met him the first time around.

4. Junior is genderfluid! Or, well, would have been in the future. This just feels like a logical progression of the worldview Junior had going. He seemed very into transhumanism and just changing yourself to who you want to be instead of sitting there and waiting for it. I certainly can’t imagine him going “Hm yes. I have all these options, but I think I’m just going to stick with being a Regular Dude until the day I die.” when he was so gung-ho about getting his hands chopped off and replaced with giant claws. Therefore I could see a “I think, therefore I am.” sort of philosophy with regards to his gender developing as he gets older. “I think I want to be a girl today, so I am a girl! That’s all there is to it!” Unfortunately, considering he was being raised to be a weapon (or at least a lab rat) of some sort, I don’t know how much his identity would be respected, but I’d imagine there’s at least one or two people in his life that would nod and swap over to what he was feeling that day. 

5. Lexi as a nonbinary woman. To explain a little bit, most people who imagine nonbinary genders for the first time think of gender as a slider with “dude” on the left side and “lady” on the right side with nonbinary genders somewhere in the middle. And for some people, that’s how they feel… but for others, its not that simple, with their gender being somewhere “off the grid” so to speak, or aligning themselves with one gender but… not.. QUITE all the way with it, or picking and choosing the parts of it they like, etc. So a girl or a guy, but… a nonbinary girl or guy. I could see Lexi as this, using she/her pronouns or they/them pronouns, just kind of being blase about it. 

I talked about the Wight’s general culture a little bit and how it came off to me, but not Thal’nasia’s. To put it simply, I don’t think Thal’nasia is NEARLY as bad as the Wights, but I do think it has its own troubles. Between Trevor’s comments about how the humans shouldn’t trust anyone (which is probably in reference to the politicians, but it also implies a “the walls have ears” sort of vibe for the kingdom in general) and the fact that the elves are several years behind human culture in general, I could imagine being different in this way wouldn’t be… necessarily frowned upon, but there would certainly be a lot of gossip. Not to mention, it’s not like anyone who lives there can just move away if coming out doesn’t go so well. So I’d imagine things would be a little awkward for anyone who’s off the beaten track in terms of gender identity or sexuality, getting a lot of gritted teeth smiles and hesitant “Uh-huhs”. And then getting a lot of whispers and giggles as soon as their back is turned.

With that in mind, I think Lexi would have some trouble getting people to take her seriously, but in some ways I think this meshes well with what we saw of her in the preboot setting. She’s already a pretty counterculture person, working in a store that explicitly sells things that are edgy or in poor taste. And she’s already used to secluding herself to a degree, considering that she had been able to hide her plague markings for a while by the time we saw her for the first time. So for people she doesn’t know too well, I could see her introducing her gender in a half-joking manner similar to how she runs her shop in general, and gauging their reaction to see if they’re cool about it or not, at which point she’d either double down on the edgy performance or relax a bit.

6. Cerene is polyamorous! This one’s mostly for fun, and mostly because it was implied that Cerene had to pick either Morris or Charlie, and… why not both? Neither Morris nor Charlie seemed to dislike each other, and neither seem like the jealous type. Morris is super chill and reasonable, and as I already mentioned up in #3 I really don’t think Charlie’s the kind to care about traditional relationships. And who’s to say they wouldn’t like each other as well? Not to mention Cerene’s certainly capable of splitting her attention and dedicating the time needed to maintain a relationship that’s… bigger than most peoples’. I’m just saying, if anyone could make a polycule work, it’s probably Cerene with her insane networking skills. Bael’s downplaying her skills by just assuming she sleeps around a lot. Oh no- she’s asking multiple people about their day, keeping notes of their personal preferences and wants for birthday gift reasons, and plotting out multiple sweet date ideas to take place simultaneously. She has this shit ORGANIZED. There is a day planner. Also she gets to bang a lot but that’s, like, secondary.

7. James Narron is gay? Perhaps? Granted we only barely know him, but still. He seems like a nice guy with a tendency to scoop up and mentor outcast children. Perhaps due to a history of being a bit of an outcast himself? Not enough to damage his career- he’s still head of the scholar’s society after all- but something that makes him feel a little different in the crowd. I just think it would be neat!

8. Mara is a trans girl. This one’s a bit harder to explain, and considering I have no idea how she’s translated over to the reboot timeline (if at all, seeing as the circumstances of her backstory and personality have been completely erased.) Buuut I think this meshes well with her once you take into account her various motivations. She’s determined to be taken seriously. People try to brush her off due to being very young and not mentally fit for the position due to the whole “child soldier” thing. So she’s used to people not taking her seriously at best and at worst finding the fact that she’s in her hard-earned position at all to be disgusting. Not to mention that folks don’t exactly trust the red army to start with. This… surprisingly parallels a lot of what transwomen have to go through, both being taken seriously as real women and as not being seen as a “threat”. This is probably even harder for younger trans girls who no doubt constantly get the “Okay, but can you really be SURE at your age?” treatment. 

You could also link this, surprisingly, into her hairstyle. Mara has boxy cut bangs in the front, but has a long twist braid in the back, far longer than most other characters in the comic. You could argue its a sense of personal style, but there’s a reason people in the military cut their hair so short (and even women in the military keep theirs in tight buns.). So you could handwave it as “it helps differentiate the character and looks like a vine, which is her whole shtick.”, which is a completely valid reading! But it’s known that a lot of trans women grow their hair out as a point of pride in transitioning, and its heartbreaking if they have to get it cut off again. So while it might be more convenient and strategic for Mara to cut her hair, she could also have a very good reason for keeping it as long as possible,

9. Dr. Grenner is bisexual. Or just questioning? Something like that? This has zero textual support and is just kind of fun to think about in terms of the personal conflict it would bring up for him. First and foremost- not everyone figures out that they’re LGBT right away. It’s not a “kids these days” sort of thing, anyone can learn something new about themselves at any time. It would be nice to see a character that has this experience, just for fun and interest! That being said, Grenner as we know him would be an interesting choice for this, considering that until very recently in the preboot’s storyline, he was likely happily married to a woman. (I mean. Iggy had to come from SOMEWHERE, and I doubt he was plucked out of a cabbage patch.) And it ended… badly. 

As a result, I could see him being really conflicted due to his grief and the fact that he’s now single for the first time in decades. And, well. Santris is the only guy who really seems to stop and have any in depth conversations with him who isn’t a coworker or a patient. (Also, he’s kinda pretty. And Grenner finds that he can’t really stop looking at his eyes? That’s. Weird. Hm.) This leads into mental conflict between “It’s fine! Plenty of people figure this out at your age, and let’s be honest, there WERE some signs for it back when you were in college.” and “This isn’t anything, you’re still heavily grieving and you have a monster living in the back of your head and you’re heavily projecting onto the one person that actually treats you like a person. Get ahold of yourself.” Which one is it? Well, that’s what storytelling is for, you figure it out. But I could easily imagine himself just sitting there and psychoanalyzing himself endlessly to try and keep the issue at arms length, treating himself like a patient to avoid having to confront the emotional reality of his grief, guilt, and weird crush.

Not sure how Santris would feel about all of this because who even knows what that guy thinks, but I’m pretty sure he would definitely notice. And maybe milk it just a little bit so he doesn’t have to stretch and grab things on tall shelves anymore. Or pull out his own chair. Or make his own coffee. It’s a nice change of pace.

Is this piling too much on poor Grenner when he’s already such a guilt driven person? Yeah, probably. But what is fiction but a chance to torment fictional people with weird crises about their sexuality.

10. The old Wights? Are probably a lot of things? I’m not necessarily referring to the old Wights we’ve seen already, just the culture and atmosphere for the old clan in general. I definitely noticed how the old Wights and Adigards definitely don’t have the same culture as the new ones. There’s no need to prove themselves to be great- they ARE the greatness that the modern Wights are trying to live up to. So there’s not as much of an issue with trying to “fit in”. They’re the ones setting the standard to start with. Not to mention the old Wights are so far modified from their original human bodies already, does it really matter what they identify as after a certain point? That guy has 50 arms with flesh ripping claws and you’re saying he’s not a guy because there’s also a set of boobs involved? How do you know he didn’t put those on himself anyway? Let’s be honest, most people are going to refer to you as “OH GOD, WHY WON’T IT DIE!” anyway. Might as well call yourself whatever you want.

There’s also at least a little bit of historical support to this as well. The old Wights are vikings, or at least rather viking-inspired. In comparison to a lot of peoples that were living at the same time, vikings were surprisingly chill? It’s pretty well known that viking women could own property and demand divorces, etc. Who’s to say the Adigard family couldn’t take that an extra step further? 

And then there’s the characters I WOULDN’T make a particular thing, whether it REALLY doesn’t make sense for them story-wise, or would just be stumbling into a bad stereotype for a particular group. I don’t think it’s impossible, but you’d definitely need to have more members OF that group in the story to make it clear that that’s just what that particular CHARACTER is like, and not an assumption of what that group of PEOPLE is like.

1. It could look bad if Sally was a transwoman. Don’t get me wrong- I love Sally a LOT. Like, SO much. Her personality is so much fun and I just love big, kinda dumb brawler characters. She has interesting twists to her personality (like how she loves being strong and having cool powers but is also aware that she didn’t use to be quite this aggressive and violent and finds it difficult to know where the line is and know when to stop.) and makes an excellent foil to the characters that have a tendency to ramble on. But… let’s be honest, having the explicitly beefy, aggressive female character be the only transgender woman would be a really bad look. Trans women are very frequently under a large amount of scrutiny for how they present themselves, and overly muscled and aggressive individuals are one of the negative stereotypes for that group. Does that mean I think Sally is a bad character? No, absolutely not! I’m aware she has depth, and for a cisgender woman I think her power set is a breath of fresh air. God knows I’d love to have the ability to throw someone across a city block when a guy’s been following me for a little too long when I’m walking home at 2 am. But I do think that, in the absence of other trans women, making her transgender would be choice made in poor taste as it hews too close to stereotypes that have been made to insult and belittle these women.

2. Max and Arthur as… well, anything. This is in regards to the preboot setting. We have known Arthur for literally one page in the reboot and he’s already clearly pretty different from the old version of him so I’m withholding all judgement there. Still, this one’s a little harder to explain. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of a young Maxwell feeling absolutely nothing for all of the girls dragged in front of him as potential suitors and eventually picking one for no reason other than “Dad liked her”. Max assuming its normal to feel this way because being asexual isn’t an option when it’s your literal job to carry on the family bloodline. I like the idea of Arthur waking up from an accidental nap in front of the TV to find that it’s moved on to some sort of documentary about trans women and how relieved they felt to be able to reflect on the outside how they felt on the inside and sits there watching it blithely for a little bit too long before he identifies that feeling in his chest as something close to pain and scrambles for the remote a little too fast while grumbling something about kids these days ruining their bodies for shits and giggles. (Hey remember how I mentioned that those skull motifs are usually only worn by girls? I say usually because Arthur is the only dude who wears them. Funny, that.)

It could definitely be interesting to interpret them as something else, but… I think it would have to be in an AU or timeline just to the left where they’re. Mmmmore tolerable as people. Look let’s be honest, in the original Suppression timeline, Max and Arthur are some of the biggest… well, evil people we see. The younger Wights have their sympathetic traits (or are just hilariously outmatched such that they aren’t really a threat. Sorry Jericho.). Grenner wasn’t even trying to be a villain. Kolt is creepy as hell and I try to forget he exists. William… isn’t really traditionally sapient, it’s hard to hate an evil Siri. We don’t know much about Santris, and we were really only getting started on Maggie and Bartleby. But Max and Arthur kill innocent people, kill their kids, kill each other because they’re canonically selfish, miserable people. If you wanted to redeem either, they’d have to be… well, not those people. So like I said, you’d need a different version of canon.

This is because, well. While I’m sure there are evil people that are… let’s pick one and say gay. 1. Gay-coding villains is a well known negative stereotype. And 2. Saying that people who are against LGBT rights in real life are totally just repressed gay people is both harmful and… idk, annoying. For point one, there’s plenty of villains where they’re presented with traits associated with LGBT individuals. Think how Ursula in The Little Mermaid was based on a drag queen, Scar in The Lion King is a sort of effeminate gay stereotype, Raoul Silva in Skyfall and his… weird homoeroticism. Don’t ask me why those were the first three examples that came to mind. In and of itself, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Everyone loves Disney villains, they’re the most fun characters! But in settings where they’re the ONLY characters that are LGBT, it suddenly creates the stereotype that… all LGBT people are inherently evil, deviant, or corrupt in some way. Which is a nasty thing to say. For a lot of the other villains, it could be fun! But these two are just so unavoidably (if amusingly) awful that it feels… weird to pin this stuff on them.

Which leads me into the second point. It’s fun to poke fun at say… a pastor saying all gay people are going to hell by going “Man, he has sure been talking about gay guys and their gay sex for a really long time huh? Makes you wonder, huh?” Because unfortunately at the end of the day… statistically, they aren’t. They just want to hurt those people (or “help” them in their own minds but again, let’s be real here.) And even if they ARE, they’re doing so much damage that it’s hard to feel sorry for them. It feels similar to my own experiences where I’d be bullied by a guy at school and the adults around me would be like “Oh don’t worry, he just has a crush on you!” Great! Awesome! That helps me out a LOT and makes me feel so much better. Really unrips up the homework he stole from me. That’s definitely a behavior we should be encouraging in guys too. Just fantastic. Yeah, I don’t think that mindset really helps anyone, and frankly feels like it would be a shallow addition to these guys.

And let’s be honest, with these two it feels like part of the fun that they’re so irredeemably awful because when they lose it feels just that much better. It was so, SO funny watching Max get squished by a demon falling several stories, or watching Sally deck Arthur in the face and Arrie blind him temporarily. It was fitting watching Arthur drink Max’s phylactery, wrapping up both of their character arcs as selfish people who inevitably only had each other but couldn’t even trust each other- and shouldn’t have. And then Sin Arthur got thrown around like a ragdoll by King Law like five minutes later. It was GREAT. If it turns out that deep down they felt differently but didn’t feel like they could say or do anything about it, it would make them more sympathetic and thus make me feel… well, worse about watching them get beat down on. Which would inevitably make those moments I mentioned fall a little flat. 

So, uhm. Yeah. I think that’s everything? Just about everything? Holy crap, I was NOT expecting to write this much. Maybe a few notes for each character, but nothing huge. And it did get huge, that’s. That’s a LOT of words. I’d apologize, but I’m not THAT sorry about it- it was really nice to get the opportunity to put to words some of the feelings I’ve been having on this stuff for a while.