#self created hell

[rainichito]

when i say i be drawing fanart just to never ever post it

[lelelego]

waiting and waiting

[thesoupisburning]

right so you guys ever think about the spectre telling the narrator that hes more similar to her than to a person?

what "her" was she referring to? the fragment we call the spectre? the way he can only be perceived, not perceive himself? the ghost of him, the ghost of her? all of her?

im just. thinking. i always think about spectre. she has. a lot to say that i think is overlooked in favor of more common favorite routes like moment of clarity and the tower, but shes one of my favorites, and shes one of the only ones who SEES the narrator, save for wraith, who is. also her. or nightmare. and she says that hes not really a person. like her.

of course, that makes sense, we think shes a ghost and dead, so she is. but him. is the echo a ghost in the classical sense? is that what she meant? or are there layers?

she says he's not really like a person. what is a person to her? is she comparing the narrator to the "shards of broken glass on the floor" are her interactions with us and the voices the only "person" she knows?

i love love love when this game separates the narrator from us and our voices. i love it so much i think about it daily. props to tower for "layer of grime" that fucks so hard.

i don't have a thesis im just. thinking. how much of the narrator is left. really.

[odessastone]

My favorite part of writing Lifeweaver is playing up his usual silly goofy funney guy act, then throwing in a “his family hasn’t talked to him in 10 years” or “every day he grapples with the knowledge that he could be killed at any moment and his creation used to usher in an ecological dystopia the likes of which we’ve never seen before”

[civilization-illstayrighthere]

i don’t believe you - the magnetic fields

[wildflowercryptid]

thinking about kieran again... particularly about how i feel like he struggles with a weak sense of self and how him identifying so heavily with ogrepon, (or at least the version of ogrepon he originally knew,) probably helped him stabilize how he saw himself, only to have something he considered so core to his identity essentially ripped away from him. not only that, it was by someone he seemingly wanted to trust and open up to, (which i doubt he does very often.)

i definitely think that the way he's handling things is far from healthy, but i can get why he'd have such an intense reaction to losing something that was so important to him and basically being betrayed by someone he wanted to consider a friend.

[blood-teeth]

on the real, im trying to throw myself back into the IF/writing space because it really was the singular thing that had helped me heal the first time around.

im playing with the idea of another IF, and really just taking my time with it and letting myself not be so pressured by forcing myself to update or churn out chapter a ton - that’s where a lot of my angst came from with FTMB and when TMITAWH was an IF

also! I’ve been absent from the space long enough that im not sure im reading everything from my friends or if there’s been some really good stuff coming out lately.

If you have any recs, I’d love to read them!

[babygoestozspace]

I kinda hate how Cirie's demise has exposed how comp dependent BB has become. Like yeah we been knew, but it’s like… you don't need to do all this song and dance on Survivor. But because a single person has the power to control the fate of everyone in the house week to week, it requires players to cover themselves on all sides, resulting in the post-16 meta of a huge onion alliance to maximize one's chances of not hitting the block any given week. There's no need for that in Survivor; the only person an immunity winner can impact is themselves, so the rest of the tribe isn't forced to play around the whims of a single person. And with the comps themselves becoming increasingly physical over the years, somehow this glorified summer camp is more dependent on physical fitness than the game that starves people on an island for a month and a half.

[were-changing-cake-vaults]

Large-scale mini games are the hermitcraft version of the torment nexus

[muzzleroars]

oh shit imagine either gabe or v1 dying in hell and then just. full on getting taken over and consumed by hell itself. they get to come back but watch out lol

mentions of character death //

FALLEN GABE BAD ENDING....he's lucky he got the angelic equivalent of becoming a prime soul because otherwise this is likely what would have happened. he has enough to remain somewhat aware, a supreme angel unable to be fully consumed by an entity like hell even if just scraps of a soul left, but there would be nothing he could do with it. distantly aware that he moves, distantly aware that he feels pain, so much pain, but consciousness more like a dying ember, tired, defeated, watching only because it can't seem to close its eyes. flickers of recognition wouldn't matter if he meets v1 again, yet he would wish he could express his happiness upon seeing it. because v1 will do what needs to be done. v1 loves him, but it doesn't love whatever he's become, it won't hesitate to kill and tear apart the body that holds him prisoner now. only v1 would have the ability to release him, and he knows it will. maybe it knows it too.

v1 would be a different case, if hell didn't merely decide to just make it a puppet - merging hell with the machine is possible, but there is a greater spark when death is less permanent for it and the fusion doesn't mesh as well. yet it can't fully repair its code, too damaged to actually stave off its possession, so over and over it's trying to crash itself, it's trying to choke its software into a mass of intelligible strings in the hope that it will fail, it will die. hell fights back against it and it wars with itself as it moves without permission, and it hopes it won't find gabriel. because he's different than it is. he's passionate, sentimental, the way he loves is not like v1, and it knows it would tear him apart to fight against it now, aware of what he has to do if he can. it could very well kill him if he can't commit to doing the same (perhaps even if he can...hell will not stop to let him go the way v1 once did), and it can't fathom the agony of desperately doing everything it can to crash before it bleeds the life out of him. v1 is a being that primarily wants to survive, it would do everything to figure out a way to get rid of its parasite...but it would slowly, secretly build a coding bomb, its own little virus tailor made to kill it, should it find gabriel and begin to see him fail

[akindplace]

Can't throw gasoline on fire and call it a coping mechanism

Can't complain because being called out is not the same as gaslighting

When you show your smile while grinding your teeth

When it breaks your soul to lie to yourself, to your friends and family

When running away takes you further away from hope

And deeper and deeper into yourself

Do you know the difference between hell and your health?

[vivi-selfships]

Sweeter than honey and milder than cream.

I keep drawing Azara despite having other drawing ideas because I'm literally obsessed with her.

[as-warm-as-choco]

today i went out searchin Dragonball manga in english (couldnt find for the life of me) >_< instead got a buu figure (actually coin bank shhh xD) and a Shenron mug i just drank tea from watchin Dragonball :''')

also got the boy and the heron storyboard book at last!!!!!

[misterbaritone]

I initially wrote off A.K.I. As nothing more than “Juri but Chinese and poisonous” but after getting through all her World Tour, stuff I’m happy to report that she’s more than “psycho bitch #2”

[hole34]

you can’t fix the harm in the system without ending and breaking its foundation.

[ughcreativity]

some stucky doods