#self loather

[dresmire]

Ghost Bath - Self Loather (Full Album)

Post Black Metal from Minot, North Dakota, USA. 

[yoursghouly]

“Self-Loather” Album Cover Art for Band ‘Ghost Bath’ by Zdzisław Beksiński

[resetting37]

I was thinking about my ocs and self loathing last night (and how far apart self loathing and shame are, but that’s a different topic. I think.) and out of my main cast, Audrey and Avery are the only ones who *don’t* experience self loathing. Which, like, good for them ! But they have other issues, so they’re not getting away from the hurt ™

[holyeater]

i just need to learn how to love myself <<<< i have always loved myself, i just need to remove the mechanisms i use to repress it

[abyssusinvo]

Spicy sinday X Drake headcanon with a side of angst? Yes please

- While it feels damn near orgasmic to given in to his vices and let his more bestial side take over in bed, Drake hates how selfish he can be in pursuit of his own pleasure over his partners. He feels this way regardless of how many times he brings his partner to orgasm in the process and will 100% make up for it in the morning with an extra round dedicated to their pleasure alone with plenty of fingers/oral action he deems necessary.

- If he is feeling extra tender though and his partner is all bruised and bloodied up, Drake may skip that in favor of aftercare and providing ointments/gauze for the bloody indents shaped like his fangs before sending them on their way if they happen to refuse the offer for breakfast. (which tbh is unlikely because LOOK AT HIM)

[chowpatty-ka-icebear]

Jiss tarah life jaa rhi hai, either i'll be dead or will be the most successful lad you'll ever see... 😤

talk about being a narcissistic and self-loather... i see it as a win-win...

[intoodeepoceans]

Wear gray at my funeral, if you attend.

During a recent fit of insomnia fueled introspection, I had an epiphany. I realized that I may be one of the most accomplished masochists around. See, the ordinary man, when he hates himself, may go to the gym to punish his behavior with physical pain. He might push himself into some series of difficult life choices as a way of making atonement for his sins. Ah but a more sophisticated self-loather, such as myself, can see the error of this style of self-harm. In an attempt to punish himself, the gym-goer inadvertently reaps the reward of muscle growth, and subsequent confidence boost. I am much more evolved in my ways of self destruction. I choose the things I love as my atonement. Understand my art? I've assured that my only reward will be mediocrity. My true desire for eradication close behind. I willingly choose to ignore! To recede! Procrastinate wantonly! A man like me does not deserve to die in spectacular, or newsworthy fashion. I will go out in no blaze of glory! I will die alone. Forgotten by all but my vices.

[revindicatedbyhistory]

90% of self loathers stop hating themselves just right before they magically get a normal life

[liliallowed]

supreme self loather ^TM

sometimes it do feel like that.

no matter how ridiculous it sounds

[gaymormonmike]

MARGINALIZED

My focus recently has been on my marginalization as a gay, divorced, single man in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I had an insight last week as I studied scriptures and pondered and prayed about marginalization in general.

What does it mean if someone is marginalized?

Today, marginalize refers to the act of treating a person or group as though they are insignificant by isolating and/or disempowering them. The term marginalized applies to the person or group that is treated insignificantly, pushed to the margins of society and rendered powerless. Marginalization is the result of discrimination. Discrimination exists in many forms, such as racism, sexism, ableism, ageism, homophobia and xenophobia. Whether or not the discrimination is overt or covert, it marginalizes others and that is unacceptable.

As I thought about that some insights came to mind.

I was a small child marginalized in many ways. I was a Highly Sensitive Person in a family that did not like a HSP boy. I had a father who wanted a boy like his ideal, the man he never was. I grew up early, knowing I was not acceptable, something was wrong in me. I lived in the ghetto of a small Midwestern town. That side of town was regarded as trash. Child abuse was common and just part of life. We did not know any different. I went into a profession, Registered Nurse, dominated by females. Once again, I was marginalized as a "male nurse."  When I was 13, I understood I was attracted to my male friends. I knew that was wrong and I felt so different and so alone and so marginalized. After I joined the LDS church, I accepted that my sexual orientation was a sin that would result in eternal punishment, and I fought against it so hard. I got married, had children and grandchildren and tried to be happy. I was on the outer edge, and I was a man divided against himself.

As I think about the members of my ward and the many good people who pursue being good, I wonder how many of them are marginalized in some aspect.  Maybe they all fall into some marginalized group.

LBGTQA+ and allies

People of color

People of African American descent with family history of slavery

People of religious groups who may not be in favor for various reasons, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Mormons, Catholics, Jehovah Witnesses, Snake Baptists, Holy Rollers, Whirlimng Dervishes, etc. etc.

People raised in the wrong part of town.

Single parents, Orphans, Adoptees, Adopted parents, childless parents,

Shamed, self-loathers, want to be someone else’s,

People who project onto others, those projected on, those who use transference to defend themselves,

Married people, teen-agers, pre-teenagers,

People who went to schools that were not the best, community colleges, virtual colleges, home schooled, schools dominated by non-white races.

Latino people, pickers, illegal aliens, people with foreign accents that are not desirable,

People with everyday jobs, housekeepers, hotel cleaners, waiters and waitresses, sewer workers, garbage collectors, used car salesman, scammers, phone solicitors.

People with smelly homes, broken down porches with appliances and furniture on them, uncared for yards.

People with dirty children in bare feet and dirty clothes

Appalachians, hillbillys, southerners, racists, bigots, nazis, KKK, Haters,

women, girls,

Fat people, people with glasses, ugly people, people who spit in public,

Bullies, fighters, controllers, get their wayers

Abusers, sexual, emotional, physical abusers, their victims their survivors

Criminals, jail birds, cons, ex-cons, police, fireman, law enforcement

Lawyers, doctors, nurses,

Republicans, Democrats, Conservatives, Liberals, Communists, Fascists, Libertarians

Rich people, people with no worries or cares or need to help.

People of privilege who can have everything they want.

People who like snakes and lizards

People with odd looking hair, dyed or long or wild or standing up or part shaved, or all shaved or just different

People who are animals, dogs, cats, deer, pigs

People from Poland, Russia, Mexico, China, Asia, people with slanty eyes, with red dots on their foreheads, Muslims, people with turbans, women covered with burkas,

Blondes, especially female

Single people, unmarried, divorced, windowed,

People addicted to drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex, working out,

Lovers of fame, fortune, liars, thieves, politicians,

Heart breakers, non- committers, seducers, pedophiles, enticers, embracers, touchers, feelers,

Homeless people, beggars, street people, shopping cart people.

Atheists, Agnostics, God haters and profaners, 

People who believe they are saved, condemners, better than thouers, people who know it all, prideful people.

Have I left anybody out? Or have I failed to insult you or the group you align yourself with? Or the group you want to forget you ever were a part of? Or the group you are happy to be a part of and do not appreciate being lumped into here?

I also fear that we will compare who has it worse. I say that each situation, whether of our making or by our birth or others’ choices, are legitimate. I have heard or read of thousands who had it worse than me. It did not take away my issues and what I go through. Your trials and tribulations and joys are yours and deserve the same reverence and respect of all others.

These words cannot define or describe the people they may represent. They cannot be equal in their results or effects. First there is the person who experiences these words in their lives. Each is different and unique and deals with a myriad of ways.. Some can turn these experiences into stellar personality adaptations. The environment that you grow up in and the attitudes of those who influence you can change the effect of these situations. They can become a reason to overcome or a reason to despair. Your faith can change how you view life, and its' vagaries can change the outcomes. The options you have or the perceived options you have can change how you react to all situations. The intensity of the experience and its effects on you can vary greatly. It is true that some of these are a result of things you cannot control or change. Others have the potential to be choices that you can control or change. But to some degree we all have traits or situations that others judge, feel superior to or dislike enough to not want to acknowledge your worth or value. If we examine ourselves, we will find we are both victims of and people who sometimes, marginalize others.

My question is how any of us can feel superior or look down on anyone else, when we are all in some way marginalized people?

I am a strong believer in Heavenly Father and Mother and my Savior Jesus Christ. I attest that he made all of us, everyone on the lists above. He loves us fully and completely as we are. He wants us to be better, but He loves us with our faults and offers a way back home to His side. Many of the people I listed above are people that I am either a part of or have judged in my life. I seek to be a better man, a better queer man, a better Christ-like man by realizing that the people at church and in my social sphere that marginalize me are themselves marginalized in some capacity. My goal is to help us all see that and accept that we can love one another because we are different and we have incredible stories and incredible pasts and that we can all become more loving, accepting and affirming.

[livelaughlovechai]

Maturity is realizing that hindutva mfs and librandu’s are the same. Both self loathers. There is a middle ground; practice your religion and don't hate the others. But they refuse to see it. All religions are valid. Secularism isn't just one way.

[black-metal-artists]

Self Loather - Eternal Flames (Limbo: 2024)

Blackened Deathcore From Germany.

[transingthoseformers]

Back on my Megacest grind

Mtmte Megs x Earthspark Megs

Two now autobot self loathers if you will

They'd have such an angsty dynamic, especially with mtmte Megatron just starting his redemption arc (hell remember he does a lot of it in the Functionist Universe, we only saw the beginning in mtmte) while earthspark Megatron is a good 15 years into it.

[ducking-quack]

What tropes and cliches you like based on your favorite Obey Me brother

Lucifer

Black hair characters, amirite?

The stoic type that seems mean but in reality hides that he cares

Basically the CEO cold hearted stereotype who you either think you can make open up or corrupts you

Mammon

Two oblivious idiots TM

The hot headed childhood friend who won’t ever admit they like you and bullies you as a love language

Definitely stands outside your window while holding up some radio over his head playing y’all’s song because you’re mad at him and he’s sure this is a way to get you back because he saw it in a movie once

Leviathan

Aware he’s a yucky otaku, when in reality he ain’t that bad

I see y’all geeky depressed self-loathers, y’all want someone to match your energy so you don’t feel alone

The Bookcase Nerd Obsessed With Anime Is Actually A Hottie?!- a slice of life, romance and comedy that turn to shonen

Satan

Same personality as ‘black hair characters, amirite?’ But blond

Hot head temperamental mess who is always calm around one person

Cat obsessed man who makes you think perhaps he’s into some kinky shit in pet

Asmodues

Has a slightly deeper and hidden personality that gets overshadowed by his narcissistic personality and the unwillingness to see him as more than

Pretty boy TM

Very popular guy always swarmed when in public, yet somehow you manage to catch his eye and it’s love in first sight

Beelzebub

The nice soft gentle character is actually hiding a lot of insecurities

I see y’all carving the size difference

Big honkers TM

Belphagor

One of the most conflicting characters, often Villianized but you can make him different, right?

Sleepy little cow man, soft and warm

Acquaintances to enemies to friends to lovers- tw after helping little cow man, there’s a brief scene of little cow man killing your character as you body lays on his brothers but don’t worry the story never mentions it again and y’all become besties and you get to romance him

[magnificent-winged-beast]

Castiel: I love you.

Classic Dean- whom I spent a quarter of my adult life watching getting older. On and off wiser, whom I identify as a fellow self loather non believer in good things happening to him either by chance or because he deserves it- Winchester: Please don't go without telling me why.

[liroyalty]

"Self-confidence has so many factors that can effect it, but the most important factor is internal. Someone can say something to you, but only if you put value in those words, or believe them true yourself, will they have an effect."

"Only you are your biggest cheerleader, or your biggest loather."