#seriously why did I look at this murder show and think “awww yes. found family and fluff and gay robots.”

[theitalianscribe]

I can't wait to see more of Owen Nicholson and to write him into fic's because the dissonance between my interpretation of him and how he is written in cannon just shows how I am probably watching Welcome to Dreamworld for the wrong reasons.

Cannon Owen:

"A man is some day going to outlive his father, but it shouldn't be this soon. And not like this."

Serious character. Has kind of film noir vibes.

Is in a tragic situation even now and is understandably solem about it.

Currently being gaslit while in spider robot purgatory

Owen when I write him

A bit of a goofball but very supportive.

Is super supportive of Wiatt.

He made a hat with a pun on it to congratulate Wiatt on figuring himself out and picking a name.

Is either a streamer, a blogger, or journalist.

He is so proud of his son (and maybe his son's sister Sara depending on the au.)

Is aware of the spooky shit going on but pretends to be oblivious and is trying (but unknowingly failing) to keep his kid(s) out of it.

If he is a journalist/news reporter, has the tagline of "This has been News with Nicholson, where you always get more than my two cents!"

Come to think of it, I may be basing him heavily on Patton Sanders. That probably means that he also is masking depression which would make sense now that I think about it.

[whyiask]

more bitter than sweet (Ch. 1)

Masterpost Ao3 Link TWs: there is a gun and non-graphic violence during the flashback (in italics) so mind that part Note: okay so. so. for people who have seen TUA, you might be saying "Joy, why on earth would you have Tommy as Vanya instead of Tommy as Five?" and the answer to that is: I just realllly wanted Tommy as Vanya, so Niki is Five, because badass Niki. also, the plot will have some changes, obviously, as it's driven by the characters and the role of Five's character is filled by a quite different person in this au. SO, on with the show. Other than that, it'll follow the original plot fairly well, probably. (also Schlatt is probably ooc, he got dealt the unfortunate hand of Luther and I don't really like Luther and don't really know how to write him, so F in the chat for schlatt lmao)

---

The sky was overcast and dreary. Fitting for the occasion. The manor house, which had been near silent for just over a year, was dusty and creaking. Normally Philza wouldn’t let the house get to such a state. The vines stretched high up the walls and Tommy craned his neck to view the once majestic mansion he had lived in. It was a far cry from the rigid upkeep of the grounds Reginald Hargreeves had insisted upon.

Tommy wasn’t looking forward to seeing his siblings again. Although he missed them dearly, he was afraid, not that he’d ever tell anyone, of how they would shun him. It had been years since any of them spoke to him. Wilbur had moved away from the house as soon as he could, forgetting about Tommy and never bothering to check in. Techno’s abrupt lack of communication was purposeful. He really did only have himself to blame.

Heaving a great sigh, Tommy mounted the steps. At least he would get to see Wilbur again.

His key fit into the door and as it swung open, a wave of nostalgia washed over him. The burning of the fireplace, the musty scent of the old, worn down rugs and furniture. The blood that had stained the floors time and time again. Pushing down his nausea, Tommy stepped forward into the open space.

“Big Man Tommyinnit has arrived,” he announced, but it fell flat, even to his own ears. It didn’t echo, trailing off in the lonely entryway. The whole house was a void, a black hole that had sucked his childhood away. He supposed he had never really gotten to be a child in the first place.

He didn’t hear the footsteps coming. He only looked up the grand staircase at the sound of a wall being punched.

“You shouldn’t have come,” Technoblade ground out. His eyebrows were drawn tight and his fists were curled. Tommy bit back a wince. He deserved this. After all, it was his brilliant idea to write a book exposing all of their family secrets. He had seen it as a way to try and cope with his trauma at the time, but it quickly became clear the rest of the family did not share his views.

A mess of curly brown hair poked out around the doorway that Techno was leaning against. A yellow sweater and a maroon beanie. A guitar strapped to his back. Tommy was hit with another wave of memories and it took all of his willpower not to run into his brother’s arms.

“Is that Tommy I hear?” Wilbur asked, and Techno moved aside reluctantly. Wilbur’s entire face lit up and he rushed down the stairs, nearly tripping in his haste. Tommy moved forward at a slower speed, and they met at the base of the stairs.

“Awww,” Wilbur whispered. “You’ve grown so much.” He raised a hand hesitantly, almost as if to pat Tommy’s head, and Tommy swatted him away.

“Oh bug off, you’d know that if you had actually stuck around.”

Wilbur’s smile faltered. He put his hand back at his side and a brief look of regret passed his face. “I’m sorry, Tommy, but I couldn’t stay here.”

“You could’ve taken me with you.” Tommy took a deep breath. He was getting too sentimental for his own good. Wilbur lifted his arms and wrapped them around Tommy’s lanky body. Tommy hesitated for a second, before returning the hug. It was awkward, nowhere near as smooth as it had been in their childhood.

“I missed you, Tommy. It’s good to see you again, you little gremlin,” Wilbur muttered into Tommy’s hair.

From up on the second floor, Tommy heard Techno scoff. He pulled away from Wilbur to look up at their brother. Techno was sharpening a knife, leaning back against the doorframe. His red cloak was settled comfortably on his shoulders and his face held a large scowl.

Wilbur frowned up at him. “Got a problem, Techno?”

Technoblade scoffed again, straightening up and coming to lean over the railing. He sneered down at Wilbur. “‘You missed him? You missed him?’” Techno’s eyes drifted over to Tommy with a glare. “Do you even know what he’s done?”

Wilbur stepped protectively in front of Tommy, and he had to resist rolling his eyes.

“He’s still our brother.”

“He’s still in the room,” Tommy interjected dryly. Wilbur shushed him and this time he actually did roll his eyes.

“Tommy was never part of our family to begin with. What gives him the right to talk about our family as if he belongs to it now?”

Tommy stiffened. Wilbur tensed beside him as well. “Techno,” he said, voice dark. “You know that’s not true.”

“Congratulations, we all have our own fucking trauma. Thank you Tommy, truly, for sharing it with the world!” He turned and his cape swished behind him dramatically. He spared one last look over his shoulder before walking back into the living room. Tommy barely caught his parting statement. “You’ve never been my brother and never will be. Stop acting like you are."

Tommy reeled back like he’d been hit, but when he noticed Wilbur looking at him worriedly, he plastered on a smile.

“Are you-” he started.

“Don’t worry about me, big man,” Tommy said, louder than necessary. “It’s Techno you should be concerned about, he’s clearly got some major problems.”

Wilbur looked at him doubtfully but nodded along anyways. He patted Tommy’s shoulder once.

“Well, I’m glad you’re back, despite the awful circumstances. I did miss you.”

“I missed you too, Wil,” Tommy muttered, watching Wilbur’s back retreating up the stairs.

---

The living room was tense. You could cut through the thickness of the air with a butter knife. Techno leaned on one of the support pillars behind the couch, as far away from everyone else as possible. Schlatt was sitting in one of the large armchairs, and Ranboo had swung his feet up onto the couch, taking up the whole thing.

Wilbur immediately plopped himself onto the other chair, leaving Tommy to try and fit on the couch. Ranboo curled his legs in and Tommy nodded to him with a smile. Ranboo smiled back, before looking over his shoulder at the air and grinning wider.

Schlatt cleared his throat, calling everyone to attention. He stood up.

“I think you all know why we are here,” he said lazily, moving his gaze across everyone in the room. There were several murmurs of agreement.

“Our father is dead, and we have to pay respects to him,” Schlatt continued.

Techno snorted slightly and Schlatt ignored him.

“However,” he stressed, and Tommy rolled his eyes, recognizing the tone in his oldest brother’s voice. “I believe there was foul play involved.”

“Foul play?” Techno asked, disbelieving. “You think someone murdered dad?”

Schlatt bristled at Techno’s words. “Yes, as a matter of fact. When his body was found, he didn’t have his monocle on him, and it was nowhere in the room.”

Even Wilbur had to raise an eyebrow at that. “And…?” he said.

Schlatt groaned. “C’mon guys, you have to use your brains. When have you ever, ever seen dad without his monocle?” At the silence, Schlatt grinned triumphantly as if he had won. “See? My point is that someone took his monocle, right before or after his death. It must’ve been personal.”

He turned to Techno. “Philza was the one who found him, no?”

Techno’s mouth pressed together into a thin line. “You can’t seriously be accusing Phil,” he said, a threat clear in his voice.

“Well, who knows,” Schlatt threw up his hands. “Maybe he finally got tired of being the perfect little housekeeper. Who else could’ve done it, you?”

Techno’s eyes widened a fraction, before narrowing again. Tommy would’ve missed it if he had not grown up with him.

Schlatt must’ve noticed it too, because his jaw opened so fast that Tommy was worried it would come off.

“I mean,” Techno said, interrupting whatever yelling storm Schlatt had planned. “As much as I would’ve enjoyed the honors, it wasn’t me.”

Schlatt’s eyes narrowed down to slits. “I don’t trust him,” he announced.

Wilbur gave a single bark of laughter. “What else is new?”

“I don’t trust you either, and yet here I am. What’re you accusing me of?” Techno butted in.

Schlatt sputtered. “You know damn well what.”

As Techno reared up to argue back, Tommy tuned out their mindless bickering. Somehow, he thought they could’ve changed. Maybe he thought they could’ve grown up. He clearly expected too much. Techno was still a vigilante, still hot-headed. And Schlatt? Well, four years without any human interaction had really screwed up his subtlety. To be fair, Tommy wasn’t sure if he had had any to begin with.

Tommy sighed and stood up, grabbing Ranboo’s arm and pulling him up as well. The arguing brothers didn’t pay them any heed. Wilbur stood up too, trying to break up the argument that threatened to turn violent. Ranboo got Tommy’s drift and they exited the room.

There was no point in staying.

--

They are ten years old. The robbers are holding hostages, and Schlatt starts to tell the others his plan, when Niki jumps into the building. Schlatt curses and runs into the room after her. Techno, never one to miss out on the action, follows closely behind.

Ranboo, Tubbo, and Wilbur are slightly slower and stick closer to the wall.

They arrive in time to see Niki teleporting around, distracting the robbers, as Techno hurls a knife with deadly accuracy into one of the men’s shoulders. He falls with a cry. Schlatt lifts another and tosses him into a wall like a ragdoll.

A voice cries out over the chaos and all three freeze. One of the others has pulled a gun on the civilians. Without wasting a moment, Niki blinks right in between the gun and the civilians, sitting on the bank check-in desk. The man swings the gun down towards her but she’s already gone.

Niki is behind him now, calling out, “Hey, loser.” As he spins around to face her, she quickly blinks his gun out of his hands in exchange for a stapler. “Nice stapler.”

She grabs his hand and twists it upwards. He hits himself in the head with the stapler in his hand. Niki tosses the gun to Schlatt, who catches it easily.

The three boys in the corner smile. Ranboo hated feeling useless in fights, but his power wasn’t cut out for combat. Tubbo was glad he didn’t have to use his. And Wilbur was just happy for his siblings to do the fighting instead of him.

Outside, Reginald Hargreeves stands, monocle and top hat, leaning on a stylish cane. A young boy stands next to him, fidgeting with his uniform.

“Why can’t I be with them?” Tommy asks his father.

“We’ve gone over this, Tommy,” Reginald says, irritated. “Because you are not special.”

When the police arrive, and the news is scrambling over themselves to take pictures of the young superheroes who saved the bank and the hostages, Schlatt, Techno, Wilbur, Niki, Tubbo, and Ranboo all line up to have their picture taken. They stand with good posture and smiles, having it ingrained into them.

Reginald walks out with a dramatic flair onto the steps of the bank, setting his hand on Schlatt’s shoulder. Schlatt huffs out his chest in pride.

“These,” Reginald announces to the gathered press. “Are your new superheroes. Meet the SBI.” The people clap.

“I adopted 6 children with superpowers, and I have been training them to fight against the evil in this city.”

Reginald’s speech continues. Tommy continues to stand out of sight, as Reginald introduces his siblings to the press. Reginald doesn’t even look in his direction as he states he had only adopted six kids.

They are ten. This is their first mission as a team. The SBI is born. And Tommy isn’t allowed to be a part of it.

--

Tommy’s old room was exactly how he remembered it. The plain bedspread on the plain bed. The posters on the wall, one of the few things he was allowed to customize. A neatly organized bookshelf and a cabinet full of music books. A keyboard by the window, coated in a thick layer of dust.

He had been just as surprised as everyone else when their father had allowed him to take up piano like he wanted to. There was a grand piano downstairs, he knew. It was probably out of tune.

Still better than sitting around. Ranboo had wandered off a while ago, so he didn’t have anyone to talk to, and everyone else was either busy or likely to ignore him. Tommy made his way to the spacious room. He sat down at the piano bench, blowing the dust from the keys and tentatively played a chord. It wasn’t horribly out of tune, though it definitely wasn’t in perfect upkeep.

Letting his doubts free, he let himself fold into the music, allowing his fingers to move across the keys. The song wasn’t particularly hard, though it wasn’t one he had played in a while. It was a song he remembered playing often when he still lived here.

.

Unknown to him, around the house, everyone perked up at the distant echoing of his playing, unconsciously swaying to the once-familiar tune.

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Eleven liveblog of The Mandalorian Season 2!  Let’s go!!!

Yeet water episode

Ok random planet, I’m assuming this is planet whatsit where Din’s supposed to be Space Ubering Frog Lady and her (remaining lol) eggs to

Oh yeah shit Shelob really busted up the Razor Crest last time

Awww everyone sleeby and lol Mama’s keepin’ a good watch over her eggs this time

OH MY GOD YODITO I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

“Dank Ferrik” as a swear word again, huh, I’ll note that

Surprise surprise once again they gotta crash land because this is Star Wars and ships never work right

Lol this Mon Calamari dude is just like “......well then”

Bro ur gonna break those eggs

WHY ISN’T THE BABY BUCKLED INTO HIS SEAT EXCUSE ME

Pffffff another happy landing

AHAHA I’M THE MON CALAMARI

Ohoooo, The Heiress, eh?

Din Frog Lady is NOT gonna give you those five stars on Yelp for this ride

ALSKDJFLKSDK WE CAN’T GET THROUGH ONE EP WITHOUT SOMEONE REMINDING HIS SHIP IS A PIECE OF SHIT 90′S HONDA CIVIC

Awwwww yay Frog Lady’s found her husband!!!!

I’m gonna cry why the hell are they so cute

Also my hat goes off to the effects/costuming department those costumes are amazing

DIN YOU MUST FEED YOUR CHILD MORE REGULARLY

Oh I guess Frog Man is gonna give Din the Yelp review instead xD

Damn so he actually does know where some other Mandos are

Ah and there’s Whatsherface the other pro fighter turned actress on this show, why the fuck can’t I remember her name

Oop Din saw her

I always forget what the squid faced aliens are 

“My friend” BRO THAT’S YOUR SON

Aw yay goop for the babby!!!!

I’m guessing Calamari’s contact is gonna be Fighter Lady lol

OH NO BABY’S SOUP IS TRYNA EAT HIM

BAHAHAHA AND DIN GIVES EXACTLY ZERO FUCKS

Hmm yeah so I recognize Squid Face’s voice

I think this is the first big boat on water scene we’ve actually had in Star Wars, the brief bit in TROS excluded

Ohhhhh they’re called Quarren

Aw Quarren’s tryna be friendly to Yodito (or he could actually be sketchy let’s be cautious)

BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS HE JUST FED THE BABY TO A FUCKING SEA MONSTER

AND NOW THEY’RE AFTER DIN BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING ARMOR JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHERE IS THE BABY I DO NOT SEE THE BABY Y’ALL WHERE IS MY FUCKING SON I DO NOT SEE THE BABY

HOLY SHIIIIIIIIT

HOLY SHIT NO WAY

NO WAY

SHIT

THAT’S BO KATAN

FUCKING BO KATAN

THAT’S HER

OH MY GOD

OKAY CHILL CHILL CHILL CHILL

NEVERMIND AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK BUT THAT HAS TO BE HER THAT’S HER ARMOR AND VOICE????????

THAT IS TEN THOUSAND PERCENT HER MASK

AND WHO ARE HER FRIENDS

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

YES Y’ALL GET THE FUCKING BABY BACK

DIN’S VOICE IS CRACKING POOR PAPA I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

“BROTHER” OK BO WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE EXPLAINING TO DO

Y’ALL I’M STILL REALLY FUCKING EXCITED SHE WAS LIKE THE ONE RETURNING CHARACTER I ACTUALLY WANTED

OK HOW IS MY SON HOW IS MY SON MY POOR BABY

OH MY GOD HE’S OKAY

THANK GOD 

THANK GOD

Bo how the fuck have you not aged

Oh whooooops yep I forgot Din’s an Orthodox Mando

“Child of the Watch” ohhhh????

RELGIOUS ZEALOTS OHHHH??????

I just fucking realized they STILL fucking gave Bo her boob armor I hate this with the passion of a thousand suns HELLO WHY?

Aaaaand Din doesn’t wanna listen ok

Oh boy this guy’s gonna be trouble

Oh no there’s a lot of them

THAT IS HIS SON Y’ALL SERIOUSLY

Ohhhh so we’re finally taking credit for when someone’s death is our fault, are we now Bo? (:

Gah sorry Katee but your wig ain’t that good

HOW DID THE OLD REBELLION FAIL

BITCH HOW DID YOU LOSE THE DARKSABER

“A new Mand’alor on the throne” uh sorry but I hope you don’t mean you Bo cuz uhhhhh

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND HOW DID DIN KNOW THE JEDI’S NAME I’M--???

OHHHHH “WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF THE JEDI?”

Lol so are we gonna get an Obi Wan explanation, an Ahsoka explanation, an Ezra explanation, or is Bo gonna mention Luke?

Aaaaand she’s gonna lead him to Ahsoka fucking great

(lol I’m sorry y’all I’ve already talked about how I don’t want Ahsoka showing up in the show haha)

Oh so we’re really getting like really no explanation as to how the fuck Bo lost Mandalore again

Ok heist time?

They better explain some of why Bo’s doing what she’s doing now and yes I know it’s been like ten minutes but I’m still impatient

DIN NOOOOOOO YOUR SON WILL EAT THEIR CHILDREN 

But I’m still crying Din is so okay with babysitters now I’m--

Wait wait wait why are these guys still well dressed and supplied Imperials?  Lol I’m so lost

Ok damn fine Bo’s cool I’ll admit that she’s always been cool

Walk walk murder baby

And the Imps are tryna blast off again ok

Return of the music bombs!!!!!

Bro they’re gonna kill u

AKLSDJFLKSK THEY FUCKING SPACED THEM I LOVE IT

Ok I really wanna know why Bo’s a pirate

bitch shut up about ruling Mandalore I love you and all but you are SO FUCKING BAD AT IT

YOU’VE LOST THE WHOLE DAMN PLANET TWICE

YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE DARKSABER BACK

WHY IS AHSOKA HELPING YOU AGAIN HOLY SHIT

Ooop there’s Gideon, hello Giancarlo!!!!!!  I really love his villain theme

Oh damn they’re gonna just suicide-- yep they sure are

Aaaaand Din’s being a damn hero because of course he is

Boi you have a CHILD TO LOOK AFTER

Whoop a dead pill

At least Ahsoka’s calling herself a Jedi now

Dammit I REALLY didn’t want Ahsoka to show up

Dammit dammit dammit

Gah nvm

OMG BABY IS BONDING WITH THE FROG FAMILY AND THEIR TADPOLES NOW

MY HEARRRRRRRT

DIN’S BEING A DAD PICKING HIM UP FROM HIS PLAYDATE I CAAAAAAAN’T ;_;

Din with all due respect your ship is kind of a piece of shit don’t question what the guy was able to fix

Baby Yoda I would die for you

Oh whoop there’s the octopus again

Don’t you try to eat the baby you bitch

BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH

HELL YEAH PROTECTIVE PAPA

NO YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’RE TAKING HIM DIN THAT’S YOUR SON, AHSOKA AIN’T GONNA KEEP HIM LMAO

Oooooh another Bryce Dallas Howard ep, I like her episodes!

Welp Bo Katan is here now and soon Ahsoka will be too

I’ve already said my piece on what I think of R*sario D*wson and I’ll leave it at that

I think Katee Sackhoff did a lovely job with Bo Katan live action too, tho I’ll say again that her wig kinda sucked lol

Welp they explained absolutely nothing as to why or how Bo Katan lost the Darksaber and Mandalore for a SECOND time, I still think it’s kinda funny she thinks she gets to go for round three 

Anyway, can’t wait for next ep, still holding out bitter hope that Sabine will show up too

Ah wait wait wait Bo Katan was supposed to be the fucking Heiress, wasn’t she

[lunasilvermorny]

Magical Creatures Everywhere SQ (Where I basically fangirl over Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn 90% of the time...)

But, as usual, we start with some bad photoshop edits!

MC: Acromantula?

Kettleburn: Chimaera?

Charlie: DRAGON!

:)

And now, to the SQ!

(with all the characters that I tagged. I promise I don’t just tag stuff without reason!)

It started with Charlie.

Yep, that’s going to be a good one.

Also, regarding what he said - you do realize that would be fatal for the students, if there were a real dragon. right? Nope, he doesn’t care.

Sane people?

So it’s good we’re the Loony Squad!

If Trelawney were here, she’d say it means:

Also, I want to point out - Charlie, Liz, Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn all in one location? This is my dream SQ!

Just the two of you took all the creatures in one go?

Whatever happened, you deserve it.

Of course he’s happy about it.

Be honest, you freed them, didn’t you?

MC: Y-you want me to help you?... HA! SUCK IT, LIZ!

Liz: ...?

MC: I still love you, though!

So, headcanon here - I feel like Luna has this special ability when it comes to animals. Yeah, it’s pretty much canon that she loves creatures, but my MC has something beyond that.

She has a special connection, not just with her pets or creatures she adopted, but any animal she encounters. It’s not like being a Parselmouth, she doesn’t directly understand the meaning of what they’re saying (except for Owls, since that’s her Animagus form), but she can feel what they want to communicate to her, and animals have a higher tendency to trust her, even wild ones. That’s the reason she can approach even dangerous creatures with confidence, because she makes them trust her and so they don’t attack most of the times.

So yeah, she’s perfect for this SQ.

Yep, that’s definitely it.

You let them loose, come on, be honest.

That’s one of the best days of your life, isn’t it?

You’d think they prefer a living tree...

Normally I’d choose the option with the book, but this time I have to go with the more headcanon leaning option - she’d probably try to talk to them in a soothing voice to calm them down.

I do have to say, it’s going to be pretty disappointing if this entire quest is just a fetch quest and nothing more.

Magic!

They look like cat grandpas.

MC: You’re going to tell Papa?

You should really know the difference, as a professor.

Wait, so you do know?

Sure... let’s go with that.

Fine, you know.

MC: 

Why does he look so terrified? Poor thing.

Grass?

You too? Wow, that’s almost overwhelming.

MC:

Aww, it’s so cute.

Oh...my god.

Anybody else hear - “Ooh, heaven is a place on earth.“ playing in their heads?

It’s not funny, it’s amazing. She just found her heaven!

Throw Barnaby into the mix and it’d be perfect.

Very convincing...

I wouldn’t call it maturity, just sheer happiness.

Oh wow. Umm.. Thank you?

That’s impossible!

Crazy idea - have you thought about using magic? You know, since you are wizards!

Back off, Filch.

Probably...

The truth?

Okay, MC, don’t freak out.

MC:

What do you mean “pretend”? You’re already a puppy.

Also, look at him!

Ah, my heart is so full right now.

Sure thing, mate.

She’s not thinking about the task, but about how she’s going to gather them all in her dorm room.

This is adorable! I can’t handle it... I just want to watch him all the way through this task.

And the Crup that sleeps next to him... Okay, THIS is MC’s heaven.

(Also, Barnaby Jr. and that Crup behind them! So damn cute!)

Because he’s a cold-hearted, murderous Death Eater.

Your soul is too pure for your family, Puppy.

That’s a bad thing, Lizard.

Alright...

Oh, you precious angel...

You do that!

Anything for Papa.

MC: Well, obviously.

Again, crazy idea...

MAGIC!

Oh yeah, that’s how he lost his eye, right?

Oof. That’s rough, buddy.

Not the moustache!

I love that that’s her reaction to what he said.

This SQ is so damn cute, I can’t...handle...it...!

It’s all fun and games, until you figure out he was behind Dumbledore’s death all along. His thirst for power knows no boundaries.

Haha, nice one, JC.

I like that.

Yeah, and questionable judgement about children’s safety.

You don’t have any authority here anymore, old man! The bowtruckle is in charge now.

So, wait...

My first instinct was for her to blame herself, but I don’t think it’s really necessary. I doubt Dumbledore would actually be mad about this whole thing.

It’s probably best to tell him the truth. (Also - blue book!)

Because they tried to move them all in one go. It was inevitable...

See? He appreciate her honesty and instead of getting mad, he’s glad she helped.

Throwing yourself under the bus is not always the best solution.

Injuries? Oof... Well, at least Papa would be happy.

Jesus Christ, Merula. If you actually hurt a creature, I would never accept any type of your redemption arc!

Is that why, in the past, you suggested making creatures fight each other for your entertainment and even straight up killing them? If that’s your kind of love, please, save it for people only.

You do you, Puppy.

What does it say about me, if it actually interest me?

It’s supposed to be a joke about Rowan’s dorkiness, but it’s a really interesting premise for an essay.

Because Dumbledore asked for more, you cheap.

The option “You’re a generous person” is just objectively wrong, also, she’s not a major suck up.

Mmm... He does have empathy, even though he’s trying to hide it. Maybe the first option?

I know he doesn’t like children, but he can’t really leave them injured like this when he has the supply for their medications.

Time to impress Papa.

Don’t worry, she aspires to become a healer, so you’re in good hands.

Yeah, and don’t forget who helped you out - your favorite student and mentee!

I want him to tag along, but maybe he should rest a bit. We don’t want him to lose another limb. (OR DO WE?)

Dammit, I’m not sure he’s going to like that answer. I hope he wouldn’t find it too boring.

That’s not a satisfied Papa...

Dammit.

Oh.

Wait, so it was the right choice?

MC: Yes! Suck it, Liz!

Liz: Seriously?

MC: Sorry, love.

That’s a big snail. I can’t wait for MC to have one of those!

Is that a huge Niffler next to Merula?

What the-?

Also, Ben is not terrified - that’s the spirit, buddy!

Wait, didn’t he say something about it earlier?

Yeah, at the beginning of the quest:

Barnaby can see into the future, confirmed!

Merula alert:

Dammit. Barnaby can see the future - busted.

I really don’t get how people can look at this screenshot and think- oh, she’s amazing.

She’s laughing at the thought of ruining people’s lives.

That’s not endearing, that’s a major character flaw and shouldn’t be celebrated.

Not to mention, a stupid plan that’s easily reversible, so she’s not just being a huge douche, she’s also being really dumb.

Mean and dumb - some people’s type, apparently.

I’m sorry, she’s just so incredibly pathetic.

Even if you like “the bad guy” type in stories, she’s incapable of even doing that correctly.

Unless you like the type that constantly humiliate themselves and showing how incompetent they are, because if so - she’s your ideal character!

Girl, you have serious issues.

Oh look, it took us 3 seconds to fix.

You’re such a mastermind, Merula.

I’m sorry, was that supposed to be a threat?

Oh, honey...

MC: DUMBLEDORE!! SHE’S HERE! THE ONE THAT DID ALL THE MESS!

To be fair, Merula is so incompetent that I doubt she’d be able to hurt anyone on purpose...

No one is going to believe you, you nimrod!

Are you really in a position to judge anyone else’s appearance, Ismelda?

Characters in this SQ: Let’s test your knowledge.

MC, a Ravenclaw:

Wow, muggles are really the true victims in this SQ, aren’t they?

Yeah, skip...

Eyes.

You’re not very reassuring, Mr. Diggory.

That’s better. Thanks, buddy.

Wait, it’s getting gradually better... Does this mean-?!

Awww! Papa’s stamp of approval!

Aww, it’s such a cutie pie!

Obviously.

That can’t be good...

Oh, right. Stalling...

Fine, but in the headcanon, she did it on her first try.

Here we go... Such a good boy.

Instant BFFs!

Thanks, Papa.

We did it! (Not that there was any real challenge, but still...)

Aww, such a nice little SQ.

Conclusions:

I really like this one. 

I spent most of my time just fangirling over Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn, which is not necessarily a bad thing, in my eyes.

I did find it a bit boring at times, but mostly it was just cute and wholesome.

I really enjoyed the company of Barnaby and Liz, though I wish they’d included them more in the plot of the SQ and not just the background. Also, I wish Charlie had a bigger role.

But overall - really cute. Good job, JC.

Bonus:

Not part of the SQ, but I just love how they sit together.

It makes much more sense to me that Barnaby would hang out with Liz than Ismelda or Merula.

[celestialholz]

Star Trek: Picard. MON CAPITAINE, HE’S BAAAACK. <3

Well, I am a British idiot without a decent proxy, but it’s Friday and therefore Captain Picard Day officially for my good self, so... about time we got with the damn times and DID SOME REVIEWIN’, mes amis. Spoilers abound, naturally. I’m going blow-by-blow, but also elaborating on some lovely things here and there. Jean-Luc Picard means a lot to me personally, I write about him a lot for those who may not know me, and I’ve been SO excited for this - but does it measure up? Spoiler warning: oh yeah. Hellllll yeah.

Warning: Many crudely-drawn hearts incoming. None of them are mechanical, sadly.

- Okay, first thing: this show is GORGEOUS. Oh my god, seriously. CBS knew they were running a potential gold mine here and spent the damn money to prove it. That sweeping into the Enterprise? The credits? Boston? Jesus, my eyes haven’t been treated so well since Avengers: Endgame. It’s a damn Michelin-starred FEAST. It strikes precisely the right balance of feeling gloriously alive and futuristic whilst having the vineyard be oh-so-current, and thus retro for the era. 1701 out of ten, boys. <3

- Data. Picard. Poker. My soul aches. This immediate rich banter is just... *pinch emoji* Ten Forward, man. TEN FORWARD.

- Give me the dog. Just give me him. I love Will, super stoked to see him again, but THIS is my new Number One. Shaped like a goddamn friend.

- Boston, huh? Jesus. Immediate action, immediate knowledge without any knowledge at all of who this chick is. Great writing. <3

- Credits! Already said they’re visually lovely, but the music is also surprisingly effective. Has this contrast of giving us quaint vibes mixed with 24th century tech; the real message of this show, laid out right there.

- Romulans! In the vineyard! Picard said alien rights! Love him. <3 This whole thing feels so very him - he can’t ever quite be stagnant, even back home. He’s out here being forward-thinking and socially progressive as fuck.

- He has a found family again. Of course he does. God, you can truly tell Patrick Stewart exec-produced this. <3

- Decaf earl grey. “You’re getting old, Johnny.” (Don’t drink decaf earl grey if you can help it, guys. It’s fucking terrible. I’m sure he knows this. Bless him.)

- Journalist? She’s going to be an arse, isn’t she?

- ... Oh yeah. And a prejudiced one, too! Lovely. /end British sarcasm I love that layering of this against “Romulan lives -” “Lives.” This new universe feels so deliciously alive at every turn; visually, socially, culturally... this is the vibe I WANTED from a sequel. Beautiful. <3

- Picard, here, in this scene. Just dear GOD. This is why this character is so enduring - he’s kind, warm, soulful, deeply intelligent, principled as all hell, and he’s become so embittered by this horrendous miscarriage of justice... the utopia’s failing, folks, and it’s a delight. Patrick sells the absolute shit out of this whole thing like the absolute asset he’s always been to this franchise, and just the CARE that has gone into his portrayal? I’m in love. Just give me fucking ALL of it. He feels so very him whilst also being richer and a touch bolder and christ, all these things Patrick’s said about loving Picard and wanting to portray him faithfully shine here so very clearly. Flawless. <333333 

- Oh, and all of that, but also THROWBACK THURSDAY. <3 These flashbacks will murder me, I’m certain of it. Retro and new in perfect harmony.

- Oh, here’s the kid! And hang on, an intriguing quote... “You just wave your hand and it all goes away”? Can we just... step back and think about what that’s a reference to, because fuck, dude, I MAY JUST HAVE TO WATCH TAPESTRY AGAIN. (Hardly a chore, let’s be real. I’m a Q stan, leave me be. It’s likely not a reference of course, but for the love of the Continuum, give me De Lancie. This shit already can’t improve so far, just LET IT IMPROVE ANYWAY.) 

- This interview-on-a-random-screen thing is great, too; I love the dichotomy of it. Picard’s out here being principled and wonderful, solely for our eyes and the girl’s. It’s literally background info at this point and it’s a lovely little aside to how Picard’s just been here the whole time, abiding by what he believes in without any real fuss. 

- ... That lovely little vineyard confrontation. Yes, yes, yes. Dad vibes without being a dad. I so didn’t want him to be a dad, it’s so painfully out of character, and I’m so glad they went with ‘lovely old uncle’ instead. <3 This whole scene just again pitches Picard amazingly.

- Can I have that firepit, Jean-Luc? Thanks, Captain.

- ... Hold the entire galaxy’s collection of phones: IS THIS CHICK LAL?! How the hell would that even work?! Bro...

- This nostalgia suite thing in the archives? Incredible. The banner? He hated that shit, we all know this, but it meant something to him deep down, that those children had his respect and admiration, that he felt so inspiring to others... how very telling that it’s one of the things he chose to keep. <3 Parallels not-Lal and this whole mini-arc thing wonderfully.

- ... Is her name supposed to sound like Vash’s? Is that a coincidence? Anyway, she’s not Lal, which makes much more sense, but she is... Data’s daughter? When the sodding hell did that happen? Oh, I really don’t care, honestly. It’s beautiful. All these Data flashbacks continue to kill me, and just for the love of it, let’s chuck some Captain in there, uniform and all! Gaaah. Who gave Patrick Stewart the right to still be this attractive, good lord above. Brent out here absolutely nailing this naive joy we loved so much back in the day, too... <333

- That chat about Dajh (possibly? The sweet and misguided android chick, giving me major Amanda Rogers vibes - I was too excited to look up the spelling, do forgive me) and her connection to Data, and what it means to Picard? Lovely. Absolutely adorable.

- ... And we come to my only minor gripe with all of this joy - why in the name of all positrons was Dajh introduced and then more or less immediately blown to tiny android pieces? Can’t help but feel the potential she had was wasted. I understand that we needed a Picard catalyst to get him back in the game, but I feel as though she’d have done that whilst still being alive. Although, I’m not going to be too harsh on it... “I haven’t been living, I’ve been waiting to die” is a thousand percent the quote of 2020 twenty-three days in and I just about screamed. I’ve got Tapestry vibes again, my god. This man is such a legend. <333333

-  I was becoming rather invested in dear Dajh, though, and I know we have her identical twin elsewhere (more on that shortly) but that’s sort of like giving me Lore and expecting me to be fine without Data. Speaking of which... 

- B-4. In a drawer. Near a door? Well, probably about thirty metres away from one. Love it. And a Maddox namedrop at the same time as something of an explanation! Actually really enjoyed this tie-in to old lore (pun fully intended, folks) whilst being coherent in its own right. God, I’d love to see a non-Trekkie watch this, they’d be so fucking baffled...

- Okay, even with all I’ve said about the visuals, that segway from neuron necklace to space was spectacular. I’m never going to need an eye test again. <3

- Nice guy Romulan. Awww. Someone hug his awkward soul. Dajh’s twin looks immediately less interesting (as evidenced by the fact I’ve forgotten her name - it definitely starts with ‘S’) but I’m definitely reserving judgement for now, I’m sure she’ll be as great as the rest of this show.

- ... That’s a cube, isn’t it?

- IT’S A CUBE. WITH ROMULANS. WHO AREN’T ASSIMILATED. Did they steal it? How the hell did they steal it? Do they have an alliance? What the fuck is happening? Picard did not sign back up two minutes ago for this shit guys!

... Well, basically, tl;dr? Modern, socially developed, stunning; retro in flawless contrast, with an even richer and more nuanced main character than ever who still feels so very himself, which is all I ever wanted. Fucking fantastic. Is it Friday again yet? Can your esteemed reviewer hit up a proxy next week and not die in anticipation of whatever the shit that ending was being perhaps explained a little more?

To be continued...

[stunudo]

That Got Away: A Criminal Minds Fan-fiction Part 13

Inspired by: Katy Perry’s “The One That Got Away”

 Bill Withers’ “Aint No Sunshine”

Featuring: Spencer Reid x Reader   Setting: Season 4   Rating: Mature

A/N: This is seriously hard to wrap up guys. I appreciate you all reading this far. Get those tissues ready! Warnings: Slightly public Smut and this is SUPER long. xoxo Stu

I do not own the lyrics, images or characters from the show.

Part 1   Part 10   Part 11  Part 12

This was the face you woke up to; the dewy-eyed relief of Dr. Spencer Reid. You felt like cotton balls had taken over your brain matter, but you were no longer in pain.

“Hi,” You said, sleepily. “What time is it?” You tried to sit up, but your body was so heavy. Spencer reached down and grabbed your right hand, sliding the remote for the bed’s hydraulic unit into your palm. Once you were nearly vertical, you took in the pathetic hospital room you had been granted.

“It’s nearly 6,” Spencer answered. “In the morning.”

“What a day, huh?” You tried to laugh, but your chest was bandaged. You rubbed your chest as the pain dulled, slightly.

“You have some bruising on your sternum, so that is why your chest is tender.” Spencer started to recite your chart. But you interrupted because that line was too good to leave there.

“But Sir-sir, I thought my chest was already tender.” You hummed at your self-amusement; drugs are nice. He rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue in his cheek at your raunchy pun.

“Yes, mon cher, it most definitely is.” Spencer sat down in the metal framed chair beside your bed. His face was serious now. “We have your aunt and Kurt Hansen, the bellhop, in custody.”

“And Michelle?” You asked, voice slightly hitching in alarm.

“She attacked Morgan and Prentiss had to stop her. I’m sorry, Y/N, but she’s dead.” Spencer rubbed along your forearm.

“Oh, good riddance,” You mumbled. You knew you should feel guilty about her death, but it just wasn’t coming to you. Not after all this.

“She was found with the murder weapon, Y/N,” Spencer continued. “It looks like she was the one who killed your dad. Miriam was probably the mastermind, but Michelle was the one.”

You yawned into your left hand, allowing all the information in. The past few days were a fairy tale in the earliest use of the phrase, dripping with viscous monsters and a speckle of unexpected romance. The surrealism of it was hitting you now. “Spencer, will you stay with me? I know I don’t deserve it, but will you be here when I wake up?”

He nodded, his brown eyes drowning in concern. “Of course, of course.” He bent over the railing on the side of your bed and kissed you goodnight. He sat back into his seat, pulling a tattered book from his satchel. You couldn’t read the title, but he did appear to be using an old scratch off as a bookmark. You smiled as the gentle hum of machines and the drips of their drugs whisked you away.

Hey, I oughtta leave young thing alone But ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone Only darkness every day

The semester in Greece was a whirlwind. You had never been so possessed by your studies as you were walking the foothills and shoreline paths. The scenery was beyond all of your childhood fantasies. It wasn’t until your third week in Athens that you realized you had missed four phone dates with Spencer. Your stomach pitched as you realized how you would have felt if he had done that to you. How hadn’t you known how long you had been gone? What had you done?

You immediately left the cafe where you and your small group were eating lunch. You found a tourist cart and bought a postcard.  The rushed apology and quick small talk about his holidays were a weak attempt at atonement. It didn’t matter anyway; Spencer had moved and would never receive the letter.

An eager looking blonde woman was standing in the doorway. She held a loud purse in one hand and a laptop in the other. Spencer had dosed off in his spot at your side, his curls a halo. You rubbed at his ear. Then slowly patted his head with your right hand, the weight of it numbing your thigh. He wasn’t getting the hint.

“I’m sorry, but can I help you?” Your voice rasping. “He doesn’t seem to be ready to join us.” You smiled gently.

“Dr. Y/L/N?” She started. “My name is Penelope, I work with Reid in Quantico.”

Her name was registering in your memory from Agent Morgan’s conversation in the conference room. “Penelope...you’re Garcia? The tech wizard?” You verified.

“God, I love you already.” Her infectious smile radiated through the dull room. “Yeah, that’s me. I have something that belongs to you.” She held up the small computer.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t really take it, yet.” You explained, pointing at the sleeping man and all of your assorted bandages.

“No worries, sweetums.” Garcia comforted. She took a seat on the opposite side of your bed than where Spencer was slumped. “So,” whispering now, “I must know, how is Reid with his hands? Because honestly, they’re too pretty to not be useful.”

Your blush rushed over you as you squealed in laughter. You tried to muffle it with your left palm, but once you started laughing you couldn’t stop, shaking the bed and rousing Spencer from dreamland.

“Garcia, when did you get here?” Spencer asked, once he had realized where the commotion was coming from. “And, Y/N/N I would appreciate it if you don’t answer that question while I am in the room, at the very least.” His eyes danced in embarrassed beguilement as he intertwined his hand in yours.

“Awww,” Penelope gushed, holding her heart at the affection passing between you and Spencer. “I need you both anyhow. You see this is the lap top that Madwoman Miriam was trying to hack into. This is why she needed you both. There are sets of puzzles, but they are assigned to the two of you. Now, I know Reid had started answering them already. Y/N, do you want to try now or do this on your own?”

This laptop held information that caused your dad to be murdered. Or Miriam was just assuming it was important and it held nothing worth your power-hungry aunt having her neighbor girl stab your dad to death. It was and it wasn’t. If there was one thing you and Spencer could do together: it was be curious. And the damned laptop mystery was pushing at the cogs inside your head.

You nodded at Spencer’s friend, her excitement obvious. “Oooo, goody. I didn’t want to tamper with evidence if I didn’t have to.” Garcia wheeled the empty meal tray over your lap, setting the computer down in front of both you and Spencer’s thoughtful expressions.

Between the questions Spencer already deciphered and the trivial memories your father challenged you with, the screen was unlocked within fifteen minutes.

A bright banner scrolled horizontally and suddenly your father’s wide face was smiling back at you.

“Y/N, my sweetheart... and Spencer, of course! Thank you so much for working together on my little game. I hope you took the challenge in stride. I found I had fun preparing the questions. Now when I first devised this test, years ago, I was having a mild health scare and wanted to save something of myself for you to have in the future, Y/N. I wished I had recorded more of your mother’s words and wishes. You know she was gone so soon.” His kind eyes began to mist remembering your mom. His voice quavered, but he continued.

“Now Spencer, you are probably wondering why I suckered you into this ordeal. Well, naturally because you could not forget some answers and because you wouldn’t refuse our Y/N, if she indeed needed your insight. But most importantly, it is because I’ve always thought of you as a protegee, as close to a son that I have experienced. I wanted you to have opportunities that your circumstances may have not allowed you.”

You glanced at Spencer’s expression watching your dad’s confession, his lips twitched and his eyes held much weight. You sniffled, holding his hand firmly atop the itchy hospital blanket.

“My darling, Y/N/N, I am sorry to leave you. No matter if I am a senile git or the plump lug I am now. I never wanted to leave you alone in this world, my amazing girl. Take all that I have given you and spread it, my dear. Life is not about holding on, it is about letting go. Even now, I am learning this most difficult lesson.”  Then he paused, composing himself.

“I love you infinitely.” He kissed his two forefingers and touched the camera lens. The monitor went black.

The next day was the funeral on campus. You had been released from the hospital on the condition that you would return before dinner medications were passed. The funeral was set to begin at 1pm, so you had five hours of fresh air to look forward to. You were waiting at the curb outside the ambulance bay.

“Y/N, that veil is a little morbid isn’t it?” Spencer asked, scrutinizing your fashion choice. It was clearly meant to conceal your injuries, but that was lost on someone who saw beyond the physical layer of people.

“Really, Spencer, my veil is morbid?” You had your hands on your hips and your argument face on. “I’m only going to my father’s funeral, after he was murdered by people who later kidnapped and tortured me. My veil is morbid? I think this is just the appropriate level of humility and morbidity, thank you very much.”

Spencer’s eyes were saucers, but the laughter came after the shock. He held out his arm to you. You accepted it, balancing your uncertain weight on to him. You had a limousine from the funeral home pick you up, the hospital was a regular stop for them anyways.

Spencer’s whole team were coming to support him as he said goodbye to your father. You were pleased he was surrounded by a group of people who loved and respected him. You only children to single parents don’t realize how important big families are until you see them in action. Spencer deserved to be happy and it appeared saving people helped him pursue it, in his own way.

The ride to the campus was quiet, so you played with the dials on the radio. Different music filled stations you had once memorized, more commercials than you imagined congested others. Finally an oldies station came through, its yearning lyrics pulling at your grieving heartstrings.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone And this house just ain't no home Anytime she goes away

And I know, I know, I know, I know...

You began to weep softly, holding Spencer’s strong hand in your lap. The sadness was not getting easier, the waves increased as the day progressed. You had not prepared something to read during the service, how could you? Even if you hadn’t been held hostage, you knew you wouldn’t have been able to string three coherent words together. No, your father knew you loved him. Everyone knew you missed him. And you knew this was just one stop on the journey ahead.

You recognized so many of your dad’s colleagues. There were even some of your friends from New York that had flown out to show their condolences in person. If you could feel anything besides muted agony, you would have been touched. Spencer stood by you the entire day, making small talk for you, greeting old professors and classmates. He was stunning in his duty.

The meal was just a cocktail and hors d'oeuvres hour in one of the lecture halls. The school did a beautiful job decorating for the event. You took in the scene of hundreds of people visiting, remembering and drinking in honor of your father, the quirky mathematics professor. It was amazing what one little life could do.

You sat alone in the limo in peaceful silence. You could feel the painkillers wearing off, but the ache reminded you that you remained. You hadn’t shuffled loose of this mortal coil just yet. Up until now, your life had been a study of people and places past. Always looking back at society through a defined scope of detachment. Suffering and surviving what you had these past few days, made you start to truly think about the future.

The feelings of nervous energy and gentle contentment were still there between you and Sir-sir. The impossibility of it all made you want to savor what little time you had left. Your spring break was half over, but Spencer always seemed to have another “unsub” lurking in the far reaches of the country. This spark might be fleeting, but it wasn’t snuffed just yet.

Spencer had finished checking in with his teammates, his superior Agent Hotchner the last to pat his back in farewell. As he climbed into the car, bending in half to accommodate the low ceiling he called your name. You chuckled gently as his eyes scanned the dim space. You were on the seat opposite him, in his jacket, your awful veil and nothing else.

You knew the bandages on your face and chest were rather off putting, so you tried not to highlight them. You sat quietly, watching the conflict work itself out over his chiseled features. Your breathing was starting to become embarrassing, would the man ever make up his mind?

“Y/N, did you know that popularity of shaving legs is attributed to the model Betty Grable?” Spencer started, his dark eyes gliding across every inch of you. He knelt down upon the floor of the limo and crawled toward you. Your body tensed at his approach, but you couldn’t keep the laughter inside any longer. “Spencer, just get over here already!”

He lunged at you, laughing back. His tremendous hands found your sides and tickled you, just firmly enough to feel it under the layers of bandages. Your lips enveloped his first, greedy, needing all of him. He was so gentle with you and you pushed harder, tugging at his clothing. Right there with Spencer, you were alive. He was keeping you somewhere between falling and flying.

He threw your pompadour beret against the rear window and caressed your neck in his hand. You tugged at his hair, keeping his face to yours. His other hand was pulling your ass on to his lap. He keenly teased your inner thighs from behind. “Please tell me you have that last condom?” You growled into his cheek as you trailed kisses to his jawline.

“What if I didn’t, Y/N?” Spencer whispered, shocking you. “What would you do then?” You glanced into his deep set eyes, the question was a taunt. You accepted that challenge. You kept your eyes pinned on him, his hunger driving yours. Slowly you slid from his lap, trailing your hands over his trim chest. You knelt on the floor in front of him, as if at a prayer rail. Next you slid his belt out of its loops, letting it fall to the floor with a clunk.

You eased him from his pants and boxers, tossing them on to the discard pile. His sex was ready and you began with the tip, sliding your tongue and his early juices down his shaft with relish. He groaned low in his chest as you took him deeply. One of his fists covered his mouth, while the other hand caressed your neck, never pushing or pulling you. You core throbbed knowing how you pleased him, knowing how he would be pleasing you soon. His thighs strained and you increased your suction, swallowing constantly to complete his climax. His body thrashed against you as you downed his seed.

You wriggled gently back on to his lap, purring into his ear. His lazy smile made you smirk coyly back at him. You twirled his hair through your fingers. “That’s what I would do, Spencer.” You whispered conspiratorially.

“I wish I knew you could do that when I was seventeen,” Spencer confided, “I would have deserved that lecture from your dad, had I known.” The mention of your dad wasn’t painful or uncomfortable, it was just a quick sly remark. Spencer’s dark eyes filled with lust again and he started kissing your knuckles, up your arm, across your collarbone, down your bandaged chest. “Now this is a sin to hide these,” Spencer lamented, his thumbs encircling your nipples over the layers of gauze. You moaned, the longing to have him on the sensitive buds was torture.

His sure arms lifted you from his lap and guided you down on the heap of forgotten clothes. As his lips found your navel, the limousine’s engine roared to life. The vibrations from his laughter and the car made you squirm beneath him. The driver began to lower the partition, but Spencer spoke first. “We’ll need a minute, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course, sir, I’ll just put the game on then.” The suppressed sound of a basketball game being announced wafted from the once again sealed barrier. Spencer liked basketball, you remembered.

“Now, where was I?” Spencer whispered into the dip near your pelvis bone. The anticipation was driving you batty. “No, I think I was over here.” His warm breath slid over you as he switched hips. His gentle hands pulling your knees back for him. The dew of your lips clung to your inner thighs, Spencer took his time lapping it up. You moaned his name, not caring if the driver could hear you or not. Finally, his fingers found your center, thrusting with such force you sat up in shock.

He gently nipped your thigh while shushing you. “I’m sorry, Y/N, are you alright?” He begged worriedly. You couldn’t speak, you just nodded, leaning into kiss him. Your flavors mingling on your tongues. You remained upright, riding his fingers as his tongue massaged yours. His thumb rolled over your clit and you saw stars. You squealed into his kiss as he carried you through your orgasm. You fell over, lifeless and reeling.

Spencer was massaging your thighs, which twitched in the aftermath. He smiled at you, you shook your head at him. “Yeah, if I had known you could do that when I was eighteen I would have been locked up.”

“Reid, you sure you’re not going to take a few days?” Morgan asked just outside your hospital room. The handsome man was leaning his meaty shoulder against the door frame. Spencer, also a handsome man, stood with his back to you, his hands casually in his pockets.

“Yeah, we need to get back. Besides I think she’ll be sick of me if I stick around for her entire grieving process.” Spencer admitted. He turned to glance at you, you just shook your head at his self-deprecation.

You had survived another night in the hospital, waiting for the doctors to formally release you. Spencer’s FBI unit was packing it up after an overly involved investigation. You leaned back onto the wide bed, waiting for the barrage of farewells to begin. “Agent Morgan, don’t let him fool you. Sir-sir is just upset that I am not begging him to stay.” You called to the friendly agent.

Derek’s bright grin glistened back to you. “Oooo, it’s like that, huh?” He chuckled, approaching your bedside. “You going to be okay once we jet home? I don’t want this guy’s mind to be distracted.”

You sighed, “I will be right as rain. Are you going to be okay?” You emphasized, stroking the matching gauze on his forearms. Derek leaned down and gave you a gentle hug, you patted his large back in gratitude.

“Oh, this is nothing, Doctor. I am taking Prentiss with me, so my back is covered.” Spencer watched you interact with his close friend from the door frame. It appeared to amuse him, his past and his present bantering. JJ, Penelope and Agent Prentiss had gathered at Spencer’s left. The three amazing and brilliantly unique women gushed as Derek stepped back from your embrace. Penelope worked her away to Derek’s side, unable to keep her hands from some part of him.

“Thanks, Penelope, for everything.” Your face a measure between gratitude and sadness. “Especially for doing my shopping, I honestly thought I had packed more clothes.” She held your hands and leaned in for a cheek to cheek kiss.

“Anytime, Y/N, girl, anytime.” Garcia promised. Derek escorted the tech analyst pack to the hallway with his arm slung around her shoulders. You waved at JJ and Emily at the door. Their expressions were more sober, but you understood why.

“JJ?” You started, clearing your throat. “You kiss that baby for me, alright? Tell him I am sorry that his mama was gone so long.” Spencer made a strained empathy sound in his throat at your guilt laden remark, he walked over to play with the fingers on your left hand.

JJ nodded from the doorway, a sad smile on her mouth. Emily patted her back.

“Agent Prentiss?” You continued. “Emily, I should say, thank you. I imagine it is not an easy thing to take a life, but thank you for doing your job here.” You were firm, trying to use your advisor voice. Thinking back the bandage on your face probably took away from any authority you once mustered.

She nodded at you, “Of course, Doctor, I’m just glad you’re alright.” She turned to leave the doorway. “Reid, we’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

Spencer held his head down, though his eyes weren’t focusing on their intertwining digits. This had been a brutal case for him, losing Dr. Y/L/N, letting himself savor Y/N like he always meant to, losing JJ and Y/N too easily. It was a lot to process even for a mind like his. Y/N reached for his face, tilting his chin in her right palm.

“There are words upon words that I would use to keep you here, but we know that it would be “with sweet, reluctant, amorous delay.” She smiled gently at him. “Sir-sir, thank you for saving me, in every sense of the word.”

Spencer inhaled, his lips pursed and his big eyes melancholy. “It was an honor, mon cher.” He leaned into her hand, as he closed his eyes to the gentle tears. His words were evading him, so he just leaned down to kiss her goodbye. The smell of ointment and her lotion mingled on the air. He took her mangled face ever so softly and kissed her as he memorized every curve of her mouth.

Heading back to the parking lot was a sun washed blur for Spencer, but he had composed himself enough to join the team once more. On the flight home, he finished the book he had been reading, slipping his lucky bookmark back into his wallet for the next adventure.

Epilogue

@sparkle-dinosaur, @dontshootmespence @reiding-and-writing @speedreiding @reid-my-fortune @sapphire1727 @holagubler @cherry-loves-fanfic @lookingforgalifrey @miss-gleek-freak-geek@criminal-minds-fanfiction @reidbyers @sortaathief @imagicana @milkandcookies528 @reidsexualwriting

[hgfstreamchats]

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room.

Smokey: awoojit Highglossfinish: A Smokescreen. Highglossfinish: Is the screen showing up? Everything kosher? Smokey: Nothing here yet Smokey: woojit woojit be a werewolf for halloween please Smokey: there it is! I see a boat Knock Out: *Shed Knock Out: Perfect! Knock Out: No. Werewolves sheld. Smokey: but I need an excuse to call you awoojit Knock Out: Hmm...are there any dander-free werewolves ou there? Smokey: You could be the first! Smokey: Maybe hairless werewolves wouldn't have dandruff Knock Out: In that case, we'll see. Smokey: hey woojit I found a vidoe Smokey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtCQo5oDCIA Knock Out: Just for that, I'm not dressing up as a werewolf.

Smokey: wait no i'm sorry Smokey: :( woojit please i love youuuu I'll dress up as anything Knock Out: Your bargaining abilities are shaky. Smokey: I can steal megatron's eyebrows and wear 'em Smokey: I'll talk like the kids in these videos Knock Out: ...Alright, now I'm listening. Smokey: I'll cover Megatron's eyebrows in glitter Knock Out: Deal. Knock Out: Deal. Smokey: Nice. Smokey: .... Though it might have to be after halloween with all the stuff going on on cybertron Knock Out: Dear Unicron, that's almost better. jpeg: yo, what up? Knock Out: Hello there! Smokey: Thanksgiving sparkletron jpeg: thanks for setting this up! Smokey: HEY FILE TYPE HUMAN Smokey: oh no not tickling Smokey: "lameball" Knock Out: The language! jpeg: m'lad, jpeg: i need to remember that one Pheonix: hi! jpeg: heyo! Pheonix: Happy Halloween! Knock Out: Pheonix human! Happy Halloween! Smokey: is he gonna go offline Knock Out: Yes. Pheonix: Why Thank you! Hope the family is well Knock Out: Exceedingly well! Smokey: ...... Smokey: I'm not liking where this is going Pheonix: Good! Impact is such a sweetheart. Pheonix: Oh! I remember this episode Pheonix: I used to watch this show every week! Knock Out: I can see why! Knock Out: "Beaned." caffienatedconfetti: how are the canadian children Pheonix: stupid Pheonix: so so stupid Smokey: the clown hasa  phone? caffienatedconfetti: what did they do this tim Pheonix: stole evil clown nose caffienatedconfetti: ooooh the clown Pheonix: yep caffienatedconfetti: this is caffienatedconfetti: um Pheonix: finger bones Pheonix: yum caffienatedconfetti: finally some sense caffienatedconfetti: give the murderous clown back his nose Pheonix: i swear returning things to their proper owners is have the plot in these shows caffienatedconfetti: how caffienatedconfetti: how did an underage child get cigars Pheonix: how did he get cigars caffienatedconfetti: jinx Pheonix: lol Pheonix: XD Knock Out: Stole them from someone else. Knock Out: "It's the most fun in the ***!" Pheonix: man imagine that in your closet Thebes: Hello! I hear there is halloween here Knock Out: Bah. Human datanet, let me say ***! Knock Out: There is indeed! Pheonix: much spook caffienatedconfetti: very scare Pheonix: did me a fright Pheonix: :) Smokey: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Pheonix: ooo Thebes: I wonder what they did with that clown-thing after they finished shooting Pheonix: try the dollhouse one caffienatedconfetti: probs burned it Pheonix: that one gave me nightmares as a kid caffienatedconfetti: like it deserved Pheonix: yes Knock Out: We'll watch the dollhouse one after this one. Pheonix: :o caffienatedconfetti: mmmmmm caffienatedconfetti: dollhouse Pheonix: yay caffienatedconfetti: i don't really get scared unless its a jumpscare Thebes: really? I love a good paranoia fit myself Thebes: just the thought that, of course no one would know if something really could happen or not, it wouldn't leave survivors Thebes: just mysterious circumstances Knock Out: Changes like "don't sexually harass the humans giving you your story trial." caffienatedconfetti: oh my god i know this one caffienatedconfetti: this one is scary Pheonix: yis Pheonix: its so good Pheonix: if impact is watching, she needs to look away caffienatedconfetti: pee yoo exactly Pheonix: bye Pheonix: :) Pheonix: too late caffienatedconfetti: lol whut Pheonix: god. i remember coveralls agooddistraction: are humans scared of science Pheonix: 90's fashion horrors agooddistraction: wow Knock Out: Well, science *is* rather creepy. agooddistraction: ?? caffienatedconfetti: "cauculate the volume of the school" Pheonix: why would their still be water? Knock Out: Did they leave the dead child in there too? Pheonix: possibly Pheonix: XD Pheonix: okay- she is reminding me of a female starscream Thebes: HE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE BURIED AT SEA. THIS JUST CUTS OUT THE MIDDLEMAN. agooddistraction: what caffienatedconfetti: spooky pool Knock Out: Janitor Gaseous likes to watch people swim. Pheonix: seriously female starscream in a fleshy body Pheonix: creeper caffienatedconfetti: it's dat boi Knock Out: Here he comes. agooddistraction: intense Pheonix: there was a ladder right next to them? Knock Out: Ew. agooddistraction: uhhh Knock Out: Is this a metaphor for something that's wrong? Thebes: This seems like a terrible idea Pheonix: wait so he can swim already? caffienatedconfetti: peice of *** caffienatedconfetti: whoops sorry Knock Out: Remember, children: all your fears are justified. agooddistraction: hahahaah what???? agooddistraction: what is it even like being human Pheonix: awww, her girlfriend is jealous agooddistraction: no dont look Knock Out: Life seems terrifying when you need to constantly breathe. Pheonix: it can be caffienatedconfetti: look man we didn't ask to breathe agooddistraction: yeah what's up with breathing agooddistraction: wtf Pheonix: but on the plus side we get to smell things Pheonix: like baking cookies Knock Out: So can we. Pheonix: flowers caffienatedconfetti: yeah but it feels nice when you fill your lungs Pheonix: true Knock Out: It also feels nice to go underwater and not die. Pheonix: why doesn't it tip the boat caffienatedconfetti: it just did Pheonix: lol agooddistraction: hey it's the guy Pheonix: called it Thebes: Man, this one made me so paranoid of water as a kid Knock Out: It's reading the chat. Pheonix: hi creeper guy caffienatedconfetti: we can go underwater just not for long Knock Out: Sweaty Charlie put his fingers in those drinks. Pheonix: dear god. Pheonix: the real horror Smokey: I poofed for a klik, what happened? Pheonix: trapped in high school for 60 years Smokey: WHEEWHEEE agooddistraction: hey Smokey: wheewhee hey hey hey Pheonix: hi smokey agooddistraction: how's it goin Smokey: Hey Pheonix! Pheonix: damn it, stop moving dead people Smokey: Wheewheee it's been weird on my cybertron it's been stinky what've you been up to agooddistraction: stinky? caffienatedconfetti: also we like breathing Smokey: stinky caffienatedconfetti: even though it's slowly setting us on fire from the inside out Smokey: cybertron smells terrible agooddistraction: just the usual. plants and building Smokey: you guys gotta stop breathing Knock Out: That'll make the pool less dangerous. agooddistraction: ahh what is it Smokey: the shape of the water Pheonix: hi dead guy caffienatedconfetti: OH MY GOD agooddistraction: eeeeahjudksa caffienatedconfetti: that didn't work Thebes: THIS IS MORE GRAPHIC THAN I REMEMBER Knock Out: Not Stinky Charlie! agooddistraction: what the frag caffienatedconfetti: its coming through the drain Pheonix: why the frag is that by the pool caffienatedconfetti: i have no idea agooddistraction: yolo human agooddistraction: primus this is intense Pheonix: well shes had a good run caffienatedconfetti: SWIM YUOU FOOL Jalaperilo: Hello! I am here for a bit! agooddistraction: goooo Pheonix: ladder right behind her Knock Out: Jalaperilo human! Just in time for this! Jalaperilo: what is it??? caffienatedconfetti: horror movie children are stupid agooddistraction: go go go go agooddistraction: how to kill a ghost caffienatedconfetti: uuguguuguhgh Knock Out: Sticky Charlie finally found peace. Pheonix: maybe he can leave teh school now caffienatedconfetti: TuT caffienatedconfetti: more fun things to do caffienatedconfetti: hhmmhmmmmmm Pheonix: wink wonk agooddistraction: wait what is that Pheonix: fire powder Knock Out: Good call. Jalaperilo: he just ate sand Knock Out: You don't want this boy within sniffing distance every night. Pheonix: makes it flare and sparkle Jalaperilo: dont make friends with kids that eat sand or grass or glue Pheonix: good rule Pheonix: aww, baby tucker caffienatedconfetti: ooooooh *** no i hate dolls ugh Thebes: No one thinks that about dolls. No one has ever thought that about dolls. Pheonix: until now Thebes: apparently Thebes: do not trust your parents, child, they are crafing an edifice of lies Knock Out: Why would you even ask someone that? Pheonix: you know? agooddistraction: do humans like ***? Pheonix: not usually caffienatedconfetti: naw caffienatedconfetti: makes me sick caffienatedconfetti: i  mean some people are into it but that's gross tbh caffienatedconfetti: oooooh *** no mi;'m out Jalaperilo: just wait till your older kid and youll experience true fear: that you are responsible for yourself caffienatedconfetti: yes dont tell the child about the important thing Jalaperilo: yeah lets whisper loudly 5 feet from the kid Smokey: they have discord in the dollhouse Jalaperilo: the house is in the little house Jalaperilo: like a tesseract caffienatedconfetti: or a turducken agooddistraction: nice smashing kid Jalaperilo: should have done what i did at 13 and just punch the back door window pane cause the door was locked Smokey: kid's gonna get stuck aren't they caffienatedconfetti: huh. minotaur maze strategy Pheonix: yup Jalaperilo: parents were not happy at the broken pane or my blood everywhere agooddistraction: ouch Smokey: if you eat the fake food, do you get stuck in there forever Jalaperilo: haha caffienatedconfetti: probs caffienatedconfetti: sttupid Jalaperilo: go to the attic of the dollhouse caffienatedconfetti: shiiiit Jalaperilo: called it Knock Out: Gah! Jalaperilo: *** Smokey: hhhhhh Smokey: woojit agooddistraction: *** Knock Out: Hmm? Pheonix: that part freaked me out so bad as a kid Smokey: scary agooddistraction: frag Jalaperilo: but if they leave like that, wont her hand be severed? Pheonix: but she wont be a doll Pheonix: doll or life without a hand caffienatedconfetti: LIFE YOU FOOL Pheonix: i mean UM got that cool hook Jalaperilo: what an awful dress Pheonix: fashion horror part 2 Jalaperilo: that the real horror Smokey: imagine having to live the rest of your life in that dress Smokey: also as a doll Knock Out: Ahhh! Pheonix: the horror caffienatedconfetti: ew Thebes: Hell. It leads to hell. It has always lead to hell. Smokey: oh primus i'd leave forever if that happened agooddistraction: gotta run. night Pheonix: night wheeljack Pheonix: very true Knock Out: Good night, Wheeljack. Pheonix: happy halloween Jalaperilo: night wheeljack! Knock Out: Ugh. Pheonix: oooh this is a good episode too! imsweetlyeclectic: So i finally got the chat to work~ caffienatedconfetti: m tirewd caffienatedconfetti: im  going to bed Pheonix: night imsweetlyeclectic: what did i miss? Knock Out: Goodnight, not-so-caffeinated-human. Pheonix: wj just left Pheonix: mostly heckling of 90s fashion Jalaperilo: bye coffinated caffee Knock Out: Fun fact: that's one of the humans from Firefly. imsweetlyeclectic: i have the fact i can't change my name on here... Pheonix: yes it is Jalaperilo: i watched 1 episode of firefly Jalaperilo: gotta admit, never saw the appeal Jalaperilo: i cant imagine why your parents would want you gone imsweetlyeclectic: and my internet is being wonky.... Jalaperilo: oyu lost your purple imsweetlyeclectic: what are the people doing on the screen? Pheonix: hiking? imsweetlyeclectic: i got the chat, and the sound, but no pictures... Jalaperilo: nothing interesting Jalaperilo: some girl is a dick to another girl and now she's lost in the woods Pheonix: and the woods are changing imsweetlyeclectic: oh, that could go so worng in so many ways... Pheonix: the watcher Pheonix: this episode is another one that scared me as a kid Pheonix: I always played in the woods Pheonix: oh look a horses head imsweetlyeclectic: and i lost sound TT-TT Pheonix: technically three something died imsweetlyeclectic: holy frag, the sudden scream out of nowhere scared the ever living daylights out of me. i might have to cut out of the stream.... it's being too glitchy. Pheonix: aww. happy halloween Knock Out: Is it glitching for anyone else? Pheonix: it was earlier Knock Out: Happy Halloween, eclectic human! Until the next time! Pheonix: but its fine now Jalaperilo: mines been fine Smokey: thats just mean Pheonix: aww they are so cute Pheonix: little white mice Knock Out: With their terrifying nibbling. Jalaperilo: its freaky when characters have your name lol Pheonix: wiat Pheonix: are you a sarah too? Pheonix: :o Pheonix: yay same name! Jalaperilo: slightly different. its pronounced that way but im a SAra Pheonix: close enough Pheonix: :D Jalaperilo: *sara high five* Pheonix: *high five!* Pheonix: look at that car Jalaperilo: to say these are spooky stories, they al have happy endings Knock Out: I'm looking, I'm looking! Knock Out: Some of them don't. Pheonix: ooh do you hace old man cochran? Pheonix: or pinball wizard Pheonix: those have less happy endings Knock Out: I have both! Jalaperilo: also, on an unrelated note, i watched thor:ragnarok earlier and i am in love with cate blanchett lol Pheonix: :o Pheonix: im seeing it this weekend Jalaperilo: i wont spoil it, but blanchett as hela is amazing and funny and terrifying and beautiful Pheonix: :) nice Pheonix: old school gameboy Jalaperilo: not what i was expecting Pheonix: he should have listened Pheonix: don't touch the pinball game Thebes: and now to see how everything is going to go wrong Jalaperilo: kids those days Jalaperilo: remeber the inball game on windows 95 Jalaperilo: space 3d? Pheonix: space cadet 3d Pheonix: good memories Jalaperilo: now its purble place Knock Out: On the plus side, he's got lots of quarters to eat. Pheonix: yum Jalaperilo: our money is slowly turning to plastic over here Jalaperilo: i feel like the old notes could have been eated thenightetc: So what'd I miss? thenightetc: Haunted pinball? Pheonix: kid was told not to touch pinball game Pheonix: he did Pheonix: now trapped in the mall thenightetc: Yikes, I guess now we see why Thebes: Yeah, the victims on this show do not make good choices Jalaperilo: oh wow. i think i had a hairband like that Pheonix: they do not thenightetc: A pinball witch? Knock Out: Whoever played the witch is clearly enjoying herself. Pheonix: yis Pheonix: oh yes Jalaperilo: but do any of them play a mean pin ball? Pheonix: the kid used to thenightetc: ...You sure you want to do that Thebes: KID WHY Pheonix: king of the mall thenightetc: Seems like the kind of thing that might get you, I don't know, trapped in the game forever Pheonix: awww game over Pheonix: restart! thenightetc: It's clearly too big for his head Pheonix: I think BD would approve of the smashing Pheonix: and possibly Impact would as well Knock Out: Breakdown would have kept the mace. Pheonix: He is smart like that Pheonix: but his hammer is better than the mace Jalaperilo: breakdown is smart cookies though Pheonix: he is Pheonix: so smart and awesome Pheonix: KO is a lucky mech thenightetc: Hahahahha Knock Out: And just to shake things up... Jalaperilo: ?? Jalaperilo: jabony? Jalaperilo: what is this? Thebes: Why do I remember these lyrics Pheonix: salute your shorts Knock Out: A must for a 90s horror night. Knock Out: Or so I've been told. Pheonix: just thinking the same Thebes: it IS very aggressively 90's Pheonix: mmmm licorice Jalaperilo: urgh. licquoris Pheonix: :) more for me thenightetc: Ewwww, don't hold it by the rubber part Pheonix: so gross thenightetc: wash your hands you filthy children thenightetc: ...Okay, that's also gross.  Putting toothpaste on the floor like that. thenightetc: Somebody's going to step in that. Thebes: the child in the headband speaks the most sense of all of them Pheonix: yes Jalaperilo: time for me to go to bed x x x Jalaperilo: night all! thenightetc: goodnight! Knock Out: Goodnight, jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo: good night knock out cybertronian! Pheonix: night! thenightetc: Uhhhhh thenightetc: ewwwwwww Pheonix: awww Pheonix: poor harry Knock Out: After this, I'm thinking one more to end the night on. Pheonix: kk Pheonix: :) thenightetc: Is this a Ruffles ad Pheonix: maybe Pheonix: suspicious thenightetc: Haha, barely even waited for them to leave Pheonix: jeez Pheonix: donkey lips Pheonix: XD thenightetc: All that screaming says otherwise thenightetc: Who does he think this guy is, he's clearly not a teenager Pheonix: thats the counselor thenightetc: ...So did they just leave the counselor strung up.....welp Pheonix: yep Knock Out: Doesn't that kill humans? thenightetc: Mmmmaybe? Pheonix: is should have Knock Out: Does anyone have any closing Are You Afraid of the Dark recommendations? Pheonix: you pick Pheonix: :) Thebes: You choose good things Pheonix: KO does Pheonix: he has excellent taste after all thenightetc: Is that Harry Potter Knock Out: Oh, you. Knock Out: The old human was Ratchet. Pheonix: haha Pheonix: so grump thenightetc: Ew Pheonix: so gross thenightetc: Ewwwww thenightetc: Does that same old lady come there every night? Knock Out: Apparently? Pheonix: appears so Knock Out: Wipe down everything he touches, kids. Pheonix: don't let him touch anything Thebes: tiny Hagrid is weirding me out thenightetc: So it's cursed, right, like the video in The Ring Pheonix: yep Knock Out: It's probably full of weevils. Have fun with that. thenightetc: Murders other movies thenightetc: by magic~ Pheonix: ohyes Pheonix: oh god it is ratchet thenightetc: ...Isn't that a real movie? Pheonix: nosferatu? Yep Knock Out: Apparently, they liked the disgusting little man's Nosferatu fanfiction. thenightetc: Maybe he just took an existing movie and cursed it? Pheonix: feed it movie people Pheonix: feed it thenightetc: I guess it's out of copyright Knock Out: Cursed it, fed it some people, spliced in nudes of himself. Pheonix: tasteful nudes of course Pheonix: this is a classy film after all Knock Out: There's a lot of "just friends" hand holding in these. Pheonix: yep thenightetc: dude thenightetc: don't try to get out of the deal with the demon wizard guy Knock Out: Oh, he's puffing up. Now you've done it. Pheonix: never a good sign thenightetc: whooooop Knock Out: His name is Count Orlok. Pheonix: nibble nibble Pheonix: dude needs a dentist thenightetc: needed a dentist like eighty years ago Knock Out: Those buck teeth wouldn't pierce a neck cleanly. thenightetc: Well, the wound did look pretty nasty Knock Out: True. Pheonix: true Knock Out: And many, many things to touch. Knock Out: With his sour little touching fingers. Pheonix: with his creepy fingers Pheonix: that are probably sticky Pheonix: great stream KO Knock Out: Why, thank you! Pheonix: thank you for hosting thenightetc: Yes!  Entertainingly cheesy :) Knock Out: Thank you all for coming! Pheonix: Say KO, have you seen Hocus Pocus? Knock Out: I have not. Pheonix: if you get the chance it is awesome! Knock Out: Will do! Pheonix: the little girl makes me think of Impact Pheonix: smol and sassy Pheonix: :) Pheonix: and loves animals Knock Out: Well, I'm sold. Pheonix: and it is delightfully campy Pheonix: XD Pheonix: with sly adult humor slipped in that went over kids heads Pheonix: *to clarify the modern little girl not the old timey little girl Knock Out: If it's got camp, I'm there. Pheonix: if you get the chance you should watch Knock Out: I'll be sure to! Pheonix: Happy Halloween! Pheonix: Hope you, BD and Impact have a ghoulishly good time! Knock Out: Good night, and happy Halloween! Don't let Dr. Vink put his fingers in your dreams! thenightetc: Happy Halloween!  And goodnight Pheonix: lol Pheonix: oh no Pheonix: Im off to watch 'arsenic and old lace' Pheonix: it is halloween tradition Knock Out: Always a classic. Pheonix: yes it is Pheonix: Have a good night Knock Out: You as well! Pheonix: I'm off to panama, to dig a new lock in the canal ;)

[roadswewalk]

T6T - my full reaction

Right I know this is super late (work project overload, apology posted preemptively), but here, finally, are my actual thoughts on second watch of T6T.  This is my first new episode since joining the fandom, so I really indulged.  This is like a live-blog meets rewatch review meets spaghetti meta.  Almost all of this is uninfluenced by others, since I missed the majority of what’s been written, but I’ve called out a few cases where popular opinion filtered through.  It probably goes without saying that to be able to write functionally about any of it, I have to make a baseline assumption that what I’m seeing has enough relationship to reality to be worth reacting to.  Doesn’t mean I believe that overall, but I’m not interested (not here, anyway) in playing mistake-lie-or-clue for every detail, so.  Grain of fish food.

Under the cut because LONG.

The hearing - uh oh.  Retcon technique crashes through the fourth wall into the fictional universe.  Or, I’m all up in ur fictional universe, redefining fiction.  Meta.  I get it: Don’t believe everything we’re about to show you, nor everything we’ve shown you before.  Or, at least, don’t take it too seriously.   And THAT is actually problematic

For starters, some of the people who abandoned ship last series complained that consequences aren’t real enough on this show.  For me, shooting Magnussen looks awfully gimmicky now that they’ve resolved it in this way; they'd never have got away with this if there hadn’t been a three-year hiatus.  Mycroft’s “oh Sherlock, what have you done?” is one of my favorite lines in the series.  Every.  Time.  Watery eyes to sobbing in 6 words.  It is utterly cheapened by not making the consequences real.  A little resistance, an impassioned appeal on the strength of Sherlock’s record of service - these would not have been out of place.  “My brother is a murderer”, sardonically, as the episode’s opening line should have been the first clue, I guess.

@ Sir Edwin shutting down the Moriarty discussion quickly and single-handedly: Has following TJLCers made me better at watching television, or was this disappointingly obvious?  @ Sherlock in this entire scene: I love it too, baby.

So the scene leaked via KBS dubbing was at the beginning, after all.  And completely not serious spoiler material, thanks for the slap on the wrist!

I like this tango they’re playing during the case montage!

Birth scene, :/  cliché.  Baby jokes - okay actually really cute.  Loving these boys with the baby, and apparently I could go for parentlock if it’s always just side-plots and comic relief.  John’s little flirtation - not so much, hope this is going somewhere plotty.  John’s backbend to ask about being godfather, though.  How flexible is that back, Dr. Watson?

Welsboroughs are pretty adorable.  Why does Mr. W. wear his ring on the pinky, though? - asked about this separately and never got a reply.  Mirror / magnifier next to Sherlock’s head - I guess this is Meaningful but it escapes me.

Noticing the Thatcher bust / pricking of my thumbs, a little difficult to accept.  But, “intuitions are not to be ignored” OKAY DADS.  A lot different from previously, though, with “dangerous to theorize without data“ etc.  “OCD - my respects”, lol.

Is Mr. Welsborough a John mirror here?  They’re wearing turquoise and defending Mrs. T’s existence together.  (Is this the same day that John goes home and texts E back?  He’s wearing the turquoise jumper?)  Wonder where Gatiss picked up this horrific story of Charlie’s death, I was in slight tears.  Relatedly (or not), Mycroft is GOLD in this episode.

On the established subject of the client-with-a-spy-wife being a John mirror: Note also, his line “I thought you’d done something clever.  But now you’ve explained it, it’s dead simple, inn’t it?” is directly from Watson on multiple occasions in ACD canon.  Also, at first I was like, “Why is Sherlock spending so much time impressing this man with his deductions?  He doesn’t know yet whether Lestrade (and arguably Hopkins) have brought him anything more interesting.“  Then I realized - he thinks John is sitting there watching him, apparently stunned into silence and charmed head-waving.  Awww. 

Lestrade saying “straße”, John saying “idée fixe”... it’s clearly Sherlock narrating.  Reliably or not, that is the question.  Sherlock noticing the scent of formaldehyde mixed with Lestrade’s usual cologne. <3 Sherstrade moment.  But why do people think Lestrade is going on a date with Hopkins?  He’s not? Sherlock said someone new from forensics; Hopkins is a DI working with Interpol.

“Slow, but sure, John.  Not dissimilar to yourself...  Well, I like you.”  I wasn’t sure I heard this right the first time!  Gratuitous compliments why.  John’s face does a nice journey after this but unfortunately Mary speaks right away.  Lovely on slo-mo.  “Having fun while I can” / “a noose for me to put my neck into” - awww, cheer up Sherlock, honey; you can’t die, you’re the star of the show.

When Craig first tells Sherlock the busts are from Tbilisi, he’s already looking up with his eyes doing their deduction dance.  The next scene implies it’s because of the Black Pearl of the Borgias case, but is it?  Lestrade’s reaction when Sherlock already knows the name of his victim - priceless.

Why does “luxury 1, 2 & 3 bed apartments” scroll across the screen when Sherlock is searching his phone about the pearl?  Graphics team: “well ads are unavoidable, it adds to the realism” lol what.  Man, it makes me a bit salty that they’re mentioning the blog so much even though we don’t get updates anymore, boo.

Sherlock: “They’re not destroying them, that’s not what’s happening.”  Lestrade: “Yes it is.”  Sherlock: “Well it *is* what’s happening but that’s not the point.  [Okay, thanks AGAIN, dads.]

Floor-to-ceiling Hokusai “Great Wave” print behind the pool - I am in lo<3!  Wearing leggings printed with Hokusai’s Phoenix as I type this and I just.  Guh.  That entire location is beautiful, thank you scouts!

All the ‘hand-waving” instead of proper switches in this house - again, I get it, thanks.

19:00 ... 22:00 flashing on screen.... so Sherlock waited 3 hours.  Am I supposed to get something from this?  (I hate not trusting anything I see on this show, nor my own ability to interpret art.  I take back one of those ‘thanks’, dads.)

Fight scene: gratuitous, fun, hard to accept.  Boys will be boys.  The people living in the house didn’t wake up?

 Why does Sherlock know what John said to forgive Mary?  Also, biggest mistake of the episode is right here, revealing he knows what that flash drive is and who had it.

The ambassador says she’s got something they would dearly love if they could get out - amo/ammo...  I’m still not sure how she fits in?  The flash drive is dangling around Ajay’s neck during the op?  So if the rescue goes wrong, AGRA are supposed to kill themselves, and what - hope the hostages are allowed to survive in captivity thereafter?

Lestrade knows about Mary’s past, seriously?  Once again the blog and the Internet fame make Sherlock & friends easy targets - though I don’t doubt Ajay could have found them easily enough without that.  Wow, shooting up the plaster bust studio must have been a good time ;)  Sherlock’s hidey-hole is... epic.  He even has a travel chemistry set and microwave (for the real experiments~), all that’s missing is a John Watson balloon, gods.  “That was quite a text you sent me” - what did it SAY?  At least he’s not giving her an easy time here. And is a different accent coming out?

“We were family.”  “Families fall out.”  [later, paraphrase] “I don’t know anything about them - happy families.”  Break my heart.  Sherlock, your mum and dad and big brother love you.  Don’t they?  Don’t they, Moftiss~?

Mary’s little smirk when Sherlock reminds her of his vow pretty much mirrors mine.  Like what can Sherlock Holmes do to protect her family better than a trained assassin?  (As we find out, nothing.)  The hubris here... it’s a huge part of what goes wrong in this episode, too.  Making the vow in the first pace was problematic and one of my least favorite things that Sherlock did, because it’s out-of-order, ridiculous, and impossible to maintain even before we knew anything about Mary and just.  Did anyone except Sherlock EVER believe that vow was worth something in reality, as opposed to some sad devotion he pledged to his best friend for wont of any more suitably dramatic exit from said friend’s wedding?  This brings me back to the awful angst-fest of a head-canon wherein Sherlock no longer places any value on his life alone, and he’s secretly longing for an excuse to start on a path that will secure his own death.  I’ve been there in depression and I’m not sure the writers realize they’re invoking it, nor that I trust them to handle it properly if they do.

Aw, PLEASE give us more of baby Holmes boys playing pirates.  Also, again, Mycroft <3.  But, Sherlock’s got a cracked rib here and he won’t go to John to get it wrapped.  “You don’t have many favors left” - apparently the only real consequence so far.  Mycroft: “What then?” - YES, THANK YOU, VOICE OF REASON!  “Not on my watch” - first from Mycroft, then from Sherlock.  But only Mycroft turns out to be able to back it up.  Score one for ice.

Why do the country names include U.S.S.R?  LMAO at Gatiss coming up with this sequence, like oh then she’ll grab a passport out of a rock in Norway, then how about a motorcycle in America?  I hope alcohol was involved, let everyone have fun with it.

She covers her head but shows her ankles?  Sherlock’s game with Karim, again, love.  It’s easy to forget why I love this show when I can’t follow the plot, but in the end, I do love it.  Sherlock’s little speech that he’s been preparing for ages to rattle off to Mary.  And then John walks in and wow, I can feel the smile slide off my face faster than Sherlock’s.  Definitely a hell of a lot faster than Mary’s!  It’s so awkward that Sherlock is there for the following conversation, especially the point he joins in, literl chills at the creep factor.  But - “couples are supposed to stay together and work things through” - as in, what John and Sherlock did while she was away?

And sorry to break in again here, but the “love” connection (lol) is tenuous enough.  Who would believe that an intelligence committee member would use a variation of her own code name as a sabotage code word?  Trying too hard to be clever, Mark, sorry.  Lady S under pressure is pretty hot, though.

Wow, John is so smooth when he’s being hit on.  Like the plot or no, really makes me want to try it, hehe.  Vampire... this screams foreshadowing but I won’t know of what until I see it, derp.

John’s bus number is 59 (159 return).  Another reference to that sonnet?

“How many more times?”  Lady S calling Mycroft on putting his brother before his other obligations.  Ouch.  When this dries up it’s going to be even more painful...  And, “you had better be right about this”, 'cept he wasn’t.  No wonder Sherlock is ready to die later.  There’s no pretty escape at this point.

“The curtain rises” - third time we’ve heard that.  He does love a touch of the dramatic.  Does it mean something else too?  The different text styles, poetry to one, usual demands to the other - I love it but i don’t know why.  Does it mean we won’t get poetry anymore from Sherlock?

Ballsy to film up in there.  I was expecting the aquarium walls to get shot up at some point.  Pity.  Well, maybe not.  Is this the entire shark analogy - “we’re like them, ghostly, living in the shadows, predators, we have to keep moving or we die”?  I guess the last one pretty well clinches it.  But it rubs up the wrong way to use the same symbol as for Magnussen, but for different reasons.

So she got involved for money, then she set up both sides of the rescue operation to get the ambassador assassinated to protect the fact that she was ever involved and hopefully make her exit?  Why didn’t she retire at that point?!

Hmm, does John call Mycroft or Lestrade from the cab?

So Sherlock going on about the wedding ring relocation here, when John is still wearing his ring on his left ring finger in the chess promo photo from TFP... I blogged some crack about it but now I’m wondering if it’s legit significant.  But anyway, Sherlock, shut up about single old ladies, alright.

Mystrade on screen together.  Maybe eye contact!  And Lestrade putting his brave on when Mrs. Norbury raises her gun.  Sherlock staring down the bullet like “I give in, I am yours” - not sure why people wondered at him not jumping out of the way, seems clear he’s ready and willing to die at this point, because he thinks it’s a solution to something.  Well, living on borrowed time, now, and with all favors called in, that’ll make for some good drama, can’t wait!

Wow, so, a woman has been on the edge of a dangerous lifestyle, but eventually she just wants a little peace.  A man with uncanny knowledge and mysterious connections to the government is on her trail.  She tries to confront him, but there are inconvenient witnesses.  Eventually she does fire her gun, but someone else gets shot, and it resolves nothing.  ...Am I describing Vivienne or Mary?

Pausing between Mary’s moment and John’s so I can appreciate the scene properly.  Oh god, I hate myself for this.   But really, Martin’s acting in TRF was perfect.  I know real primal grief is not pretty and that was probably very accurate, but I don’t come to television to see that much of reality.  You’re breaking our contract here a little by shocking me so much in a moment like this.  First watch, my tears dried right up.  This time I let them fall for awhile, and it was nice.  :/

They’re talking about proper portrayal of grief, but isn’t this transition to the anger stage a bit quick?  Mystrade and Sherlock facing off above the Watsons - this is very iconic-looking, though for the life of me I couldn’t say why Lestrade is there.  Hope it’s a backstory thing that we get to hear about later.  So many white men on this show, always coming out on top.  How can I adore them all?  Feel like I have to take a few punches out of my various identity cards for this weakness.

Roll call, who knew almost instantly that Ella was talking to Sherlock? How did you know?  I can’t decide what clued me in - I guess it was the camera angle, the transition from John to her on the same side of the frame?  By her second or third line it was obvious, but I swear I knew before that...

It just bugs me when Ella speaks in platitudes.  When my therapists weren’t as clever as me, they would do this.  It solves nothing.  Also I’m pretty sure she would have to recuse herself from Sherlock’s case if he mainly wants to talk about John, another client.  They’ve shown in THoB that they understand doctor-patient privilege, so, not sure what to make of this.

Mycroft at home is my severe kink.  Him with his lack of furniture in his kitchen, brolly has to lean against his case on the floor.  Still wearing his coat and waistcoat when he gets to the fridge (suits are cut much better this season, damn Mark), rubbing his sore neck, takeout menus, cuff links, pocket watch.

It’s hard to express the strength of my yearning to see inside Mycroft’s fridge.  Like I love that it’s mostly empty, but not seeing pitiful gaping immaculate interior is still one of the biggest disappointments of the episode, tbh.  And frankly that yearning extends a bit further, into slithering up behind and offering a neck rub territory.  People who read him as queer, are we talking zero exceptions?  Mind if I test that?   Antarctica, darling, give me a call.  That empty, listless feeling… I can help.  I hear you’re the Ice Man.  Well it may interest you to know that in certain circles, I’m known as the Ice Queen.  I realize you have incredible power and influence - probably enough to stop global warming.  Don’t do it, baby, I don’t care about that stuff.  I wanna melt with you.  (Heh, might send  that one to bbcsherlockpickuplines.)

13th in a post-it note, prompting a call to Sherrinford - at this point my money’s on drug rehab facility.  That Sherlock burns down.  Won’t that be fun.�� And like season 2, I’m guessing this is setup for a plot arc that will be fully revealed in episode 3.  And that’s about the extent of my non-crack predictions for the next few episodes!

John’s balloon drooping off the table, oof.  “Work is the best antidote to sorrow” - like sorrow is poison, oh Sherlock, what would Ella say?  Not it’s not, it’s normal and it’s a thing you work through.  “Norbury” - she doesn’t know the details but she can see the significance, poor Hudders.

Mary making Moriarty jokes on the level of sensitivity that I often display (and which never fails to earn me zero notes)...   LOVE IT DON’T STOP BITCH!

“Nothing’s certain, nothing’s written” - the words that overlay John and Mary holding hands in that teaser of all teasers - a throw-away line picked up by marketers or a sign of things to come~?

“The danger was the fun part but you can’t outrun that.  You need to remember that so I’m giving you a case.”  What, retire to Sussex and stop putting John Watson in danger?  This is getting ‘danger’ously close to some of my crack theories for why a longer hiatus should follow.  MAYBE I’ll accept but only if they actually film us three episodes of retirementlock - with some quaint flashbacks or something - alright?

I’m glad Molly only says sorry the one time.  It’s not her apology to make.  Maybe best scene in the episode right here.  Reading the letter in the cab... brave.

Path locking around your feet, the demons under the street and the sharks in the river (sharks in a river?   really?), etc. - this seems to be confirmation that Sherlock is still awaiting his consequences; okay, good.  But “can Samarra be avoided?” - learned nothing, have you?  Or is it that your survival is necessary to save John Watson?

Go to Hell - not speculating, too little information.  I already know Sherlock’s going to Hell, that he takes John with him, and that they come back - my dad told me.

Summary things:

So live-Tweeting didn’t happen.  That was disappointing.  What is Joe Lidster’s new project, then?

I already knew the Samarra story really well from childhood and then a brief study in Arabic class once.  So the communication of it here felt really heavy handed.  Wish I hadn’t brushed up on it (thanks to NYT reviewer, I believe) beforehand.  I feel like Benedict’s retelling with the sharks would have been chill-inducing.

Contrasting with my complaint about weak consequences for the Magnussen incident, perhaps I’m supposed to take it that this episode was Mary’s consequences.  I wonder if we’ll see Sherlock’s consequences in episode 2 and John’s in episode 3 (or vice versa)?  Or, the ensembles (Hudders & co) in 2, and Sherlock & John’s in episode 3?  I know it’s a three-part story arc so I hope we’ll see something.  Sharks in the river, I’ll get my fishing pole!

Lastly, the “NO WAY” moment that the press reported - which even was it?

- Vivian "Ice Lolly” Norbury as the double agent?

- Mary jumping in?

- Sherlock at therapy?

I seriously couldn’t tell.  Again, does that me good at watching television, or bad?!