#she cant help it she got really sick a while back and lost most of her brain cells so shes dumb as a rock now

[piknim]

Why do cats smell so good

[florenceisfalling]

Lego

at some point in my youth or something i obtained a lego tupperware for sandwich-holding purposes. i straight up cant even find a picture of the exact one online. its just a sandwich tupperware but with a lid that looks like a lego. its yellow and clear. it holds a sandwich effectively. a lot of my school lunches were in that specific tupperware. i was not cool enough to be a lego kid and i have no idea why i have it.

not to throw a curveball in the story, but i collect dead bugs. moths especially, and my best find was a polyphemus moth on the porch one day. my mom and i both got so excited over it, but i needed to stay outside longer so i just put said moth gently on a potted plant and planned to grab it before i went back inside. i forgot it, sadly, and by the time my mom remembered and went out to see if it was still okay, it had become significantly more crumbled. my mom promised me that if she ever found another polyphemus moth intact, she would keep it for me. i still have the crumbled one. i don't keep my bugs very well preserved, sadly; i need to change this, genuinely.

another, far more jarring curveball: my mom died a bit over a year ago. she was sick, but it was still unexpected. dad drove her to the hospital after i helped her into the truck. for a few minutes, i did watch her stop breathing and go unresponsive before we were able to wake her back up, and this gave me a really awful scare. she seemed to be doing better by the time dad drove off, but i was so panicked i burst into tears immediately and called my fiancee. i paced around the house and outside, walking in circles around the perimeter of the yard, rambling to her. and about the same time my mom died in the truck, or a little while before, i walked out to the back porch and saw a perfectly intact polyphemus moth sitting on the ground right in front of the chair my mom would always sit in on the porch.

my brother had dreams on his way to the hospital about her in the back yard too. it was her last gift to me, i think.

like i said, i'm bad at preserving bugs. sadly, her last gift to me has since lost its antennae and taken a little damage, i do intend to get it better preserved someday, probably by someone who can actually do it more professionally. for now i've got a painting of it.

but i did need somewhere to put it when i found it, and the first container i found in my house was that lego sandwich box. that moth is still very carefully packed between paper towels in a stupid plastic sandwich box. it does keep it pretty safe, actually, its a good size.

every time we get a fire drill on campus, they tell you not to grab anything. however, i would rather be dead than alive and lacking some of my most important belongings, so i always grab my backpack with my laptop - its nearly always two inches away from me anyway, my computer is like a vital organ to me - as well as my mom's bible, and that polyphemus moth. its always tucked safe in its container rather than on display, which is great when you're trying to exit a potentially burning building.

this does, however, have the admittedly funny side effect of having someone laugh ask me why i brought a neatly packed sandwich during an emergency every single fire drill.

[the-ultimate-pie-family]

Pipp and pinkamena the pony baker part 2

*another day*

Pipp petal: *wakes up seeing her bubbles baby is growing* so peaceful *yawns grabbing her bubble baby walking downstairs*

Blood: *smoking a blunt sipping his blood coffee* morning pipp ur up early?

Pipp petal: yeah im hungry yesterday i got sick from work heh now i know why u said not to eat hehe

Blood: they always learn the hard way haha

Pipp petal: i guess i did learn the hard way hehe

Sunny: *busts down the castle gate* where is she?!

Pipp petal: hi sunny

Blood: sunny wats up girl

Sunny: *decks blood breaking his jaw* that's for taking pipp

Pipp petal: sunny stop i stayed here for work

Sunny: work? *glares at blood*

Blood: bring it sunny *uses his vampire wing to flip her off smoking more of his blunt*

Sunny: *growls*

Pinkamena: *summons pipp in the basement while sunny and blood yell at each other* good morning apprentice

Pipp petal: hello boss wats today's baked good?

Pinkamena: well pippy it's for a close friend of mine my dad and he wants everything for his party

Pipp petal: im finally gonna meet the stallion who made u oooooooooo im excited how old is ur dad?

Pinkamena: two hundred years old

Pipp petal: is he immortal like u?

Pinkamena: no *starts up the grinder and preheats the big oven* ok apprentice u ready to try again

Pipp petal: wat again already? I don't know boss last time i got sick

Pinkamena: because u ate breakfast ur fault hehehe

Pipp petal: im learning u guys ways pinkie slowly

Pinkamena: and that sunny seem very protective over u but how blood and sunny r yelling

Pipp petal: they sound like their married or something hahahah

Pinkamena: *giggles trying not to laugh* that's a funny one respect

Pipp petal: thanks just popped in my head *cuts open a half dead pony hearing him muffle screaming*

?: *break free smacking pipp down running*

Pinkamena: pipp *runs to her* u ok?

Pipp petal: *out cold holding her stomach bleeding*

Pinkamena: oh no......... blood!!

Blood: *crashes through the basement* wat happened mom?

Pinkamena: pipp she got stabbed by our ingredients

Sunny: pipp?!

Pinkie: *moves pipps arm away* oh god......... *starts crying*

Sunny: p-pipp?

Blood: *gives sunny pipps baby protected in the bubble* im sorry sunny a heart stab isn't possible of survival

Sunny: no....... blood u must save her i know ur power is beyond any other magic u can save

Blood: i can but her heart dead she needs a new one and it take 2 month for a heart to grow

Sunny: *starts crying* u cant just do nothing about it

Blood: i needs a heart sunny till then I'll keep pipp soul in this jar right here

Sunny: no no no i want my pipp back now *grabs blood up* bring my pipp back now

Blood: u got a heart?

Sunny: *falls down crying hitting blood*

Blood: that's wat i thought *walks upstairs to kitchen*

Sunny: *crawls to pipp body holding it* pipp come back to us plz my love i love u......plz.... i wish i told u sooner pipp

*sunnys tears went into pipps stab wound healing her heart and her*

Pipp petal: u know how long i been waiting for u to say that sunny

Sunny: pipp?! I-its really u?

Pipp petal: come here my love *kisses sunny*

Sunny: *kisses back cuddling her smiling* ur alive babe

Ambrosine: *in the distance smiling*

Surprise jr: magical huh rookie

Ambrosine: yes they really love each other

Surprise jr: *walks to sunny and pipp with pipps bubbles baby* pipp

Pipp petal: *looks at surprise* yes surprise?

Surprise jr: ur baby *smiles giving pipp her bubble baby* stay safe both of u

Pipp petal: yes surprise *gets up a little limp*

Sunny: *helps pipp to there room*

Pinkie: *whispers in sunny ear*

Sunny: ok *sets pipp in bed covering her up* sleep tight pipp

Pipp petal: *cuddling her bubble baby sleeping*

Sunny: *sneaks out of the room walking looking for blood* where is he?

Blood: *teleports beside sunny smoking a blunt* u lost girl?

Sunny: yes u i have questions blood

Blood: don't worry about ur questions girl worry about pipp she needs u the most

Sunny: but blood plz i need answers plz we used to be good friends before i made my new ones

Blood: that was a long time ago sunny I haven't changed *taps sunnys forehead as they can talk with there mind now*

Sunny: huh wat was that for? Huh my mouth isn't moving wat the?

Blood: *walks outside rolling a fat ass blunt* follow me girl

Sunny: *follows blood getting weed smoke blown in her face* blood? *looks around in the smoke* blood?

Ambrosine: hello sunny remember me

Sunny: death why r u here

Ambrosine: the deal u made with my lord it's up time to return to hell

Sunny: fuck u i......... *starts crying*

Ambrosine: don't cry sunny pipp will remember u i swear now come along

Blood: fight for ur freedom sunny this is ur answer

Sunny: blood? I can't fight death she'll kill me easy

Blood: have faith sunny

Sunny: ok blood.... *gets stabbed by Ambrosine hoof

[commander-gloryforge]

🕰️🗺️ for Junko and 💍 for Rhea? (@speculist-rinthi)

HOLYHAUNT TIME !!! tysm !!! lesbian talk !!! lets goO!!!!

🕰️ Has there been an event that happened in your OCs past that affects their future or one that they think about still? Is this a bad event or a good one? What are a few of their childhood memories they can recall?

Junkos past relatively chill (unless i suddenly come up with a reason for it to not be chill, revenant related problems perhaps) but I guess the greatest shift in their life was when they met Rhea! Not only did they suddenly meet someone who could actually hear the echoes they had careried around with themselves their whole life, but Rhea also fueled their passion for music even more. That very first moment of meeting eachother, the first glimpse they got of her, thats probably a moment so important to Junko, something that they think about frequently, if they want to admit it or not.

For childhood memories, I think some key moments are things like getting their first bass, seeing a band they love, little things like that. One of their older brothers is with the pact and was there for the Zhaitan battle, so seeing him come back from that and celebrating the dragons death must have been pretty big! Youd probably expect the whole revenant echo stuff to be a big moment too but to be quite honest, Junko doesnt remember when it even started.

🗺️ Does your OC like going on adventures? Have they ever discovered something really interesting and significant or are they just too busy getting lost? Where is their favourite place they’ve been? Least favourite?

Junko always wanted to go out and explore the world! After all thats why theyre on world tour right now :D While the original plan for that tour was to see the world and relax a bit, and maybe sightseeing, things got out of hand and they ended up being a local hero helping the people they meet with the dangers the dragons and other terrors left behind. SO it's less "checking out these nice places <3" and more "yooo while i was hunting down the nightmare court we found this really sick cave! couldn't stay too long tho cause i got poisoned on the way in and Rhea was also on the verge of bleeding out, but we'll check it again some day :)"

One of Junkos favourite places must've been the black citadel and Charr areas in geneal as well as cantha. The citadel of its very cool badass metal architecture, and Cantha because- We'll they cant hekp but feel at home there. Like something flipped in their head when they got there. Meanwhile, their current least favourite place is Kryta, maybe just because theyre very sick of it :')

💍 Does your OC have a specific item that is priceless to them but may (or may not) be completely worthless to someone else? Is there a story behind this item or is it just because they like it so much?

Rhea likes to carry around some nice sharp looking things she finds! She likes little shiny pointy stuff :) also, she is a medium and comes across some haunted objects every now and then and decides to keep them for a bit to bring them to a place where the spirits can find happiness. a lot of the time, these objects are just little mundane things, junk items. most people don't even know that they carry a spirit in them, so when people see her carry around a vase for days they wouldnt know that theres a lost spirit sitting in there waiting to be carried to their favourite place or familys house.

and of course, this is Rhea we are talking about, and she definetly has some kind of gift from Junko that she treasures so deeply. Maybe its a piece of jewelry, some kind of ring or chain or something, but no matter what it is, it means the world to her and she'd just explode if she were to lose it- for rather obvious reasons <3

[violet-moonstone]

got lost in a daydream today about my httyd oc (who im thinking of naming Amani? I have a list of names I typically go with for self insert characters in fantasy and that's one of them. let's go with that for now)

anyway i really wanted to write down the full scene but i lacked the energy so now i just have a vague recollection of it. i could turn these scenes into a multichapter fic but honestly idc how interested people are in reading a story thats essentially a self ship with dagur and sometimes hiccup

the scene takes place in the midpoint of the story, where dagur has just gotten himself locked up in outcast prison and the council on berserker island has just found out. amani (his wife) is freaking out because they dont have any heirs (yet - shes believes she's pregnant but pretty much no one knows yet) and she has a growing suspicion that some of the more powerful berserkers are going to try to get rid of her so that they can rule.

more below the cut that gets increasingly stream of consciousness

during the meeting she's trying her best to make herself look like a strong candidate without just outright making it clear that she knows most of them arent behind her. she announces the pregnancy and dispels any worries about how sure it is that the baby will make it to adulthood.

one particularly unpleasant member of the council makes a comment about barbaric archipelago winters being harsh - perhaps it is easy to survive in whatever sunny part of the world she's from, but in the north, babes must be hearty and strong to survive past infancy and childhood.

she demands if he's questioning the strength of dagur and oswalds bloodline and that makes him back down to a certain extent - but the reality she has to face is that dagur's gone and she really has no guarantee that the pregnancy will go well. and even if it does, just one heir with a mother most view as an outsider is still shaky ground

when council members question who will lead in dagurs absense, she says the council will lead until the situation with dagur is figured out - she has a plan to petition alvin about his imprisonment, but this is shot down because "berserkers dont ask for things - they take what they want" - this of course coming from someone she suspects has no real interest in dagur's freedom. if they were loyal to him, they might form a rescue team or even declare war - but she doubts that that will happen.

as the meeting goes on she can feel herself losing a good portion of the room. she also feels increasingly sick and she cant tell if its from worry or the pregnancy.

finally when the meetings finished she goes back to her house. and theennn there are some details i dont have figured out - theres an attempt on her life thats interrupted by a loyal guard or council member who then helps her find safe passage to an island somewhere further away (but still in or near the archipelago? idk. she doesnt go back to her homeland...perhaps because she doesnt want to risk travelling long distances and especially not while pregnant...but also...i kinda want her to be relatively nearby for the story)

uhh yeah i need a name for this story. realistically i wont have time to type it out in prose any time soon but i might make summaries of the most important moments and post those. maybe with some art? idk. i just really really like it

[thesingingrevolution]

so many people complimented my dress and told me i looked pretty which was so nice….. i got attention from so many people but it kind of hurts that i got almost nothing from the people i craved it the most 🥲 i feel bad lmao i should he grateful but yeah

i don’t have a crush crush but there’s three guys i kinda of like, so recap:

• mechanical engineer, not in my program, was in one of my classes last year (we had “dinner”together once and i lost my shit it’s in an old post)

• neuroscience, in my program, he complimented me a lot at the beginning of the semester but hasn’t really talked to me recently :(

• literally not sure right now but it used to be biochem, in my program, roommate’s friend, have never met him

for the engineer guy i like him because he’s so sweet. he was already really nice to me and it’s so great to speak to someone who is kind like that. he’s really smart and outgoing, i enjoyed his company a lot and would like to be friends with him still, hopefully i’ll see him around more and we can get together some time. i considered asking him to this dance but since we weren’t super close i figured it would be awkward, and also taking a date would mean i don’t get to speak to others 😭 so that’s all for him, since the party was for people in my program and their dates. i forgot to emphasize more earlier but he is adorable. literally golden retriever type boy 😭

as for the neuro guy, he’s the one that’s literally stunning. i cant explain but so you have an idea i told another friend in my program today when i saw him in line and she literally said “he looks cute from the back” HE DOES. his face is perfect and he’s super super handsome. he’s really smart and i fucking love it when he talks in class cause his voice is sooooo deep and soothing and nice and i get so upset when he’s sick and doesn’t go to class it’s happened like twice already and it’s so annoying help 😭 anyway he used to tell me nice things sometimes and i went the opposite direction an embarrassing amount of times so i could talk to him a bit longer while we walked 🙃 anyway i feel like we haven’t spoken in so long and i feel very…. distant. but i literally catch him staring at me in class idk if im delusional but sometimes it seems like he might like me a little but it’s weird because he’s kind of reserved but also super popular im so confused regarding him. but what felt so nice was that when he saw me today he waved and smiled soooo beautifully i almost 🫠 we were in that aforementioned line though (I HATE THAT LINE 🎤) so i don’t know if he saw my dress i hope he did so many people liked it i hope he liked it too im ??/!/?/? i wish i could have talked to him…..

as for the last guy he just kinda proved to me it’s a waste of time lmao. he is really really cute on paper seems like everything i want but naur so bye to him because I KID YOU NOT this man spoke to everyone but me and he had drunk girls hanging off him all night this girl literally fell to the floor and he had to keep lifting her and it was just weird to see idk i am not about that so if that’s what he likes to do i am not going to butt in he can have these types of friends lmao but something tells me it’s not really my scene so 😭 but yeah. it’s nice he helped his friend but it rubs me the wrong way when someone is close with hundreds of drunk women sorry not sorry ?

the best part was definitely the neuro guy smiling at me. he looked so handsome. i hope i can get closer to him. we are so different but maybe. idk. i don’t want a boyfriend but it does give my life excitement. Heheh tee hee hee

[dasomlimie]

Heyyy! I hope ur doing okay if ur requests r open can l request reader asking if she can see whats under sanzu’s mask like that one scene in naruto where he tried so hard to see kakashi’s mask something similar and funny like that take ur time l love ur work <333

%% BEHIND THAT MASK! #!/

characters : aged up!—Sanzu Haruchiyo

a/n : i cant believe im rewrtiting this sorry if this is half assed tumblr didn't save my draft earlier, enjoy ig

Sanzu Haruchiyo..... your masked bf sometimes you were wondering what behind that mask but ofc you wanted to respect his boundaries and dont want to make him uncomfortable, but curiousity start to eat you alive so you have a little plan in your mind

sometimes there's a lot of idea in your mind on why Sanzu didn't remove his mask, maybe he have big lips that unmatched with his face future? or maybe he have crooked teeth? or even worse he doesn't have mouth! but you scratched the last idea since how did he speak if he doesn't have mouth? his nose? yeah that idea once stuck in your head but you decided to remove it because it doesn't make sense at all

you called Sanzu to meet you up infront of a restaurant which he agreed since maybe you were hungry and he is too, you greet Sanzu before taking his hand and walk into the restaurant with him

"today is my treat" you said smiling he raise an eyebrow you were cheerful more than usual "did something good happen?" he ask you shook his head "nope i just wanted to spend time with my lovely boyfriend" you said he nodded start looking at the menu

"are you ready to order?" he ask after a few minutes you nodded letting him call the waiter, you both said your order as the writer write down your order, you noticed Sanzu's order was a heavy meal he probably going to remove his mask

you smile to yourself before mentally patting yourself for coming up with this idea as soon as your food arrived you stare at Sanzu causing him to raise an eyebrow "whats up my love?" he ask you shook your head "nothing eat up" he nod "you too" you nod

you stare as he was about to remove his mask until your phone start ringing you look at the caller ID noticing it was your boss you look at Sanzu "eat first i have to answer this call" you said he nod as he watch your figure walking out from the restaurant

you listen to your boss rant about how her husband keep cancelling their date and how she think he was cheating on her while you were wondering why the hell your boss telling you all of this as she finally hang up you walk into the restaurant only to be greeted by Sanzu scrolling through his phone you blink

"oh baby! what took you too long? oh and im sorry i finished my food first i haven't eat since yesterday" he said giving you closed eyes smile you nod sitting "did you forgot to eat again?" you ask he nod "im very busy yesterday and just go to sleep as soon as i got home" he said you nod

attempt 1 : failed

"want some?" you ask offering your food he shook his head "im full already" he said you nodded visibly deflated "whats up pretty girl? you were all cheerful a while ago" he said chuckling you shook your head from side to side finding a reason and decided to use your boss phone call as your reason "she did it again" you said he pat your head

"did she start ranting to you again? what was is about?" he ask you sigh "about her husband this and that you know the usual why don't they just divorce?" you said leaning to your chair

"maybe you should find a new job if you were that sick of your boss personal life rant" he said you nodded "yeah i should" you said

the second attempt might make him mad but what is life without a little thrill and spice right? right.

you took a deep breath before apologizing gripping the tray in your hand you walk inside the room smiling at Sanzu you walk toward him then purposely trip yourself

you watch everything happen in slow motion how the juice flew and wetting his mask you cheer silently before your face kiss the floor you groan but being muffled by your carpet Sanzu gasp ignoring his wet clothes and mask

"y/n?! are you okay? oh my why are you suddenly become clumsy?" he ask as he help you to get up you have to swallow your image its not even 6 month into your relationship here you are doing stupid things just to what behind his mask

he hiss when he saw your red forehead with a little bloody lips "we should get that lips treated" he suggest you nodded "let me put this away your hoodie was in my closet along with extra mask" you said silently before walking out from the room leaving a little space for you to peak in

you feel your cheeks heat up as you watch his half naked body you silently cheer as he was about to remove his mask when your doorbell rang causing you to curse silent

you keep debating either to look and discover what behind your boyfriend mask or to answer the door you were deep in thought when Sanzu clear his throat his cheeks tinted with rosy pink just like his hair

"i didn't know you're that type of person" he said clearing his throat again you look up before cursing yourself "oh no you got the wrong idea let me go and answer the door ok?" you said walking a little bit too faster "be careful!" Sanzu called as he look you who almost tripped twice

attempt 2 : failed

you look at Sanzu as you keep following—more like stalking—him you tried to make sure you didn't lost him maybe he would remove his mask at the most random time especially when he's alone? yeah thats what you think ,you were now dressed in all black outfit paired with black cap and black mask

yup much like a stalker

you watch him keep turning and leading you to a dark hallways wondering what he was doing here, little did you know he noticed you following him but didn't have any idea it was his girlfriend

"fuck" you curse silently as you lost him you were about to take another turn when someone pull you to opposite turn you yelped both in suprise and pain when your back make a harsh contact to the cold and dirty wall you hiss from how strong someone's grip on your hands is

"who are you and why are you following me?" he ask you stay silent too scared to answer him, Sanzu chuckle "why are you all silent? acting all scared are we?" he said you shiver under his sharp gaze

"i ask you questions" he said you shut your eyes he sigh annoyed and start to loose his patients then decided to remove both your mask and cap you felt his grip on your hands loosening

"y/n?" he said in softer voice than earlier you still shut your eyes tightly slightly trembling "darling look at me" he said as one of hand slither to your waist while the other cup your cheeks thumb caressing your cheeks "open your eyes my love im not going to hurt you" he said you open your eyes slowly meeting his soften gaze

"why are you following me like that? i thought you were one of those people who tried to get me again" he said chuckling you didn't answer instead hugging him burying your face into his chest

"did i scare you that much?" he ask you shook your head as a no, you were actually embarassed of yourself for doing dumb thing to get him to remove his mask

"then why?" he ask hugging you close to him "im sorry" you said he raise an eyebrow "why?" "im sorry for doing dumb thing lately and following you like earlier" you said he chuckled you look up to him

"i get it now" he said removing you from him gently then cup your cheeks with both of his hands "you know you can just ask right?" you pout "i just dont want to make you feel uncomfortable" he shook his head

"you will never im actually waiting for you to ask me by yourself" he said you nodded "then can i uh you know" he nod letting you remove his mask

heart beating loudly Sanzu was prepared from any insult from you yet nothing came our from your mouth, does he freak you out? he was about to apologize when you whispered out a very unexpected word he expects you to say

"beautiful" you said he froze not believing what he just heard "what?" he ask for confirmation "i said beautiful" you repeat before caressing his scars with both of your thumb he sigh in relief

"really? i thought you were going to freaked out" he said you shook your head with confused face while your attention was still on his face "why would i?" you ask

"people always told me its disgusting i thought you would too but apparently not im relieved" you heart broke a little from his words "who the hell said your scars is disgusting?! let me beat them up" you said with determination he shook his head "its okay you were an absolute angel i cant imagine you beating people up" he said pressing a kiss on your forehead

"you look hotter without mask" you whisper he smile "is that so?" he ask you nodded then cover his face with his mask "and only me can see you my beautiful and handsome and hot boyfriend without his mask no one can see your full face they would fall for you" you said he chuckled before ruffling your hair

"whatever you say angel" he said you smile as he lead you out from the hallway just so your know he would use your silly attempt to tease you in the future

attempt 3 : successfully failed

!%! © HNEULWH— i did not allow my work to be used or adapted in any form without my permission !#//

[shanastoryteller]

Questions about outlines: How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary? How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps? Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points? Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go? Sorry if this is to many at once

lmao okay i got several asks about outlines but i’m just going to answer this one because it’s ~comprehensive~

every writing teacher i’ve ever had has hated my outlines. my friends find them incomprehensible.

if people are going to look at my answers as ways to do their own outlines, i have to say: that’s probably not a good idea

i don’t write outlines a majority of the time

i don’t write outlines to plan a story i’ve already decided to write

i write outlines primarily as a way to exorcise story ideas that i want to write but don’t want to actually commit to writing (answer prompts are another way i do this lol)

now, some things do get outlines as a way to plan and organize. survival is a talent has an outline because it’s 400k and spans six years. child king had an outline. needy’s body had an outline. 

b u t

i’m currently writing rotten work without an outline

lynchpin didn’t have an outline

hope is the thing with feathers didn’t have an outline

never grow a wishbone only had an outline for the first couple of chapters 

an invincible summer didn’t get an outline until like. chapter 4 of 6. 

i just. uh. think about what i want to happen and then hope i remember to write it down. even when i do an outline, i’ll deviate from it wildly, and not update it to reflect that, because i know what i’m doing (ha!)

so! with that in mind, let’s go! 

How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary?

they vary! but honestly - not very. sometimes i’ll write out a paragraph or bits of dialogue that are important to me, but most of the time it’s just broad strokes of what i want to happen, or a mechanism of how something complicated happens. like i have several paragraphs in my siat outline dealing with necromancy books, but like. two sentences on how they actually occur in the story because that’s just something i’m trusting myself to figure out when i sit down to write it.  

 How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps? 

I try to put them chronologically, although sometimes that’s a little hard (in siat i have several scenes that i know will happen, i just don’t know when). that is something i will go back and edit on my outlines, is if i’ve changed the order the something happens i’ll go back and copy and paste until my outlines is in the right order. but only if the outlines is something i’m actually using to write and the story is longer than a couple of chapters. 

because my outlines are so very not detailed, i just write down what it is that i want to write, like the reason i’m going to write this or want to write this, and figure out the rest later. i’ll fill it in later - or i won’t! because most of the time i don’t use my outline to actually write the story, and i use it more as an idea list, so if i don’t know what happens between scenes or i find it boring i just won’t write it down

like, for example, here is my “outline” for won’t even plant a garden in it’s entirety 

weep as a woman

“you weep as a woman weeps.” “and how is that?” “as if the future rests on your hips, and you must walk it forward.”

crowley and eve were friends. cain killed abel with the flaming sword, and crowley begged them to say it was with a rock instead

crowley was raphael the painter and fucked michelangelo

crowley was there the night yeshua was born, was friends with mary, helped raise yeshua?

ghosts

crowley and anathema and joan of arc

i ended up dropping most of this and crowley ended up sleeping with both eve and yeshua as the major plot points. i don’t explain stuff, really. i know what i mean so i just don’t bother to get very detailed most of the time. 

Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points?

siat i divide up by year, and i think i did it by chapter for the last two chapters of build your wings on the way down, but otherwise it’s just one long list. i do my chapters based on words counts rather than content, so outlining by chapter doesn’t really make sense for me (siat is always around 15k a chapter, and everything else  i do these days thats multi chapter is around 8k because that’s the best, but ngawb was 5k a chapter and i think for child king it was around 11k a chapter)

Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go?

I’m constantly adding as a i go! my outlines are never really “complete” they’re just abandoned. i write down what i think will help me and tend to ignore the rest. sometimes i just. talking to myself in my outlines when i’m trying to think something through. 

my outline for child king is under the cut because that’s one that’s a good mix of stuff i kept and stuff i threw out. DON’T JUDGE ME!! bad ideas don’t get written because they’re bad!! it’s part of the ~process~ 

child king

Summary: “A child king is still a king,” Deaton says softly. “A child king is still a child,” he snaps, but he knows this is an argument he’s already lost.  – Stiles is a born alpha, and after the Hale fire, things get real complicated, real fast.

Stiles’s mom is the last remaining human from a pack that was destroyed by hunters. John is the one that helps her after, so he knows everything. When they move to beacon hills she doesn’t feel the need to say anything to the hale pack, because as far as they’re concerned she’s just a human, and she doesn’t want to get involved in pack business. But then stiles is born with red eyes. The doctor is quiet and scared john and Claudia freak out, but it’s because he’s a werewolf, which is a relief to parents because they thought something was wrong with their kid. Maybe they don’t know he’s an alpha, only that he’s a wolf? Or they know and they keep it a secret on purpose

Claudia is the one to approach mrs. Hale. She tells her that her son is a born werewolf, but that she’s not interested in joining their pack. Her husband is a new deputy and they just bought a house but they’ll move if they have to. “he’ll need a pack one day. It’s safer,” she says. “if he wants to join you one day, I won’t stop him. But that’s not a choice I’m willing to make for him.” Mrs hale agrees that they can say separate as in exchange for the sheriff smoothing over some ruffled feathers no and again. They agree. Claudia to sheriff “we’re going to have to move one day. Our son is an alpha, and he’ll need to make his own pack.”

Stiles is seven the first time he snarls at his mom, eyes flashing red, and she freezes. She’s got the pack instinct, it doesn’t matter that hes her kid, hes still her alpha, so its hella awkward. John can see how this will quickly spiral out of control if they can discipline their own kid. But stiles is the one to back down first, apologizing and doing as he’s told. There are careful power structures here, and this is the beginning of differentiating between stiles the human and stiles the wolf.

When his mom gets sick, stiles offers to turn her. Hale offers to turn her. She refused for Reasons that I have to figure out. Maybe the politics of it? Wanting to protect stiles and not wanting to become part of the hale pack

The fire happens. John ships stiles the hell out of dodge, because there are hunters about. He snoops around enough to figure out it was kate argent, but theres not really anything he can do about it

Scott knows about everything, and tries to tell his mom in a really akward way that they should trust stiles if they’re ever in danger, but she just laughs it off. Except when someone breaks in and threatens her with a gun, and she manages to make a phone call, it’s not 911, not john, but stiles, and she doesn’t even know why, regrets it as soon as it happens. But then stiles shows up and breaks both of the guys, eyes glowing red, and then calls his dad and scott to take care of it, because they’re humans, so they get human punishments. Melissa is told everything.

Scott has a bad asthma attack and, and Melissa asks about the bite. Scott is itching for it. He wants it so badly. Stiles has already promised to turn them when they turn 18, and Melissa knows that. She asks if theres a reason to wait, and the answer is nah, not really. So he gets the bite. Stiles being like uh psa punishments cant include scott staying away

After hale fire and stiles gets back, he’s shocked that hey just left, and that they left peter behind. He starts visiting peter several times a week. He tells his dad that they should pay for his medical care. They have a fuckton of money because his mom inherited all the pack wealth, and john doesn’t touch it because that’s stiles’s money, that’s werewolf money. But this is a werewolf thing, so he agrees. “his pack left him dad.”

Stiles bites Erica when they’re 14. Some point in middle school stiles wises up to the Isaac thing and tells his dad he needs to arrest his dad, or stiles is going to kill him, and he’s not even a little bit joking. Stiles hears Isaac crying while going by the house? In johns squad car. Makes them pull over, then bursts into the house. John goes with it because his son’s eyes are red.

Some point after the hales leave, things start trying to move into hale territory. Some wolves? Stiles smells them, and ends up at 10 years old telling them to fuck off. This how scott finds out? He’s with scott and his dad. Deaton is facing off against something? Panics when stiles intervenes, but stiles goes wolfy and red eyes and is like. This is mine now fuck off. Looks at the hale house, and finally says, we have to take care of this. We have to. But they don’t own the house or the land or any of it. They do … something

Stiles ends up having to deal with a lot of crap real young

Stiles has scott and Isaac when peter wakes up. Stiles is there, and peter isn’t crazy because he wasn’t abandoned to die alone. Stiles says he can stay, or he can go, not trying to pressure anything. Peter chooses to become part of stiles’s pack, because his family is either dead or abandoned him. Peter ends up moving in with them as he finishes healing and to get used to being in a pack and with stiles. It’s very strange for john, but it’s a werewolf thing and he’s trying to be supportive. After a couple months, stiles tells his dad that having peter is a relief, that there’s finally someone who knows things, someone older who can support him as a werewolf. Peter acts as his second, and he finally has some degree of authority that age has lost him. Stiles has peter take care of the hale house. Peter and stiles have the conversation, where peter is like the hale land is your land now. You’re the alpha of beacon hills. He does what stiles directs him to.

Isaac is living with scott under stiles’s direction ish. But lots of Melissa. Isaac like I don’t wantto be afraid anymore, I don’t want to hurt anymore, and stiles is like. Okay. We’ll fix this. But he doesn’t bite Isaac until he goes to a shitton of therapy and has mostly sorted himself out. For isaac’s fifteenth birthday, he bites him.

Erica is spur of the moment, it’s something that all instinct and very little thought. OR they’re dating and it happesn? Erica’s parents suck. Stiles doesn’t want the balancing act of being boyfriend and alpha.

Jackson is so fucking desperate to belong to something. He nags and nags and nags and finally stiles bites him at least half to shut him up.

“dad can I talk to you about something weird and uncomfortable and a little creepy” talks about crush on Lydia, and how he’s not sure if its because he has a crush on her or if it’s bc he thinks she’ll be good for the pack. Lydia joins before Jackson, and she’s the one that pushes stiles into it. Lydia and stiles are not dating, but she’s clearly high in the hiarchey.

Boyd? Just like. Shows up. Idk.

So by the time laura and derek show up, stiles’s pack is: john, Melissa, peter, Lydia, Jackson, danny, Isaac, boyd, Erica, deaton (who’s acting as emissary but is training danny). Maybe bring in some later characters, like malia and kira and cora. Ooooh maybe the twins show up before they became alphas, still run aways and looking for something else? Stiles takes them on. Stiles finds malia early on after the fire

Peter is willing to forgive derek but he has a lot of shit with laura. Stiles agrees to let laura and derek stay and not be part of his pack, although laura insists she doesn’t need his permission. She snaps at peter to come home with them, and he looks at her like she’s insane. He says there’s no hale pack, and if there was, he’s not interested. He’s a stillinkski wolf now. Cora too maybe? Double blow. Peter owns the hale land, and he makes it clear the day stiles turns 18 he’ll be signing it over to him. Stiles is known by the surrounding packs.

Stiles has to somehow defend the surrounding area, has to make it clear he’s his and that he’s not willing to give it up. It’s valuable land. People are going to come looking for it once people figure out it’s abandoned. When deaton finds out stiles is an alpha, he goes around as an emissary to the surrounding packs. Saying that its under stiles now. He’s known to them so it goes mostly uncontested. This is when he and the sheriff have the child king conversation.

Stiles tries really, really hard to be a good alpha. That means controlling the territory, and working with other packs when members go rouge or something goes wrong. He’s thirteen the first time he goes to lend a hand in a fight, and it’s young, it’s too young, but he’s an alpha. He has to do this, to maintain the peace. And the thing is – stiles is good at this, good at not pushing, at not using his status as a crutch or an excuse, instead as a tool.

Maybe this is why no one cares for laura’s excuses. As much as laura wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility, she was an adult, if only barely. Stiles is a literal child, and in her absence shouldered it all. So even if she does technically have a claim, none of them are willing to honor it. “if you kill alpha stiles, you won’t have allies, you’ll have enemies.”

Allison and argents. Stiles brings his pack to kill kate. Gives peter the chance to do it himself, and is so very proud when he says no. but instead of letting her go free, stiles crushes her throat. “revenge would have been trapping you all in here and setting the whole thing on fire. Justice would have been making you watch as she burned alive. This was mercy, and don’t you forget it.” Scott is hella in love with Allison, but he knows this comes first. Her mom is full of hatred, but stiles more than makes it clear that he has no problem with killing her too.

Stiles sees derek soon after. They’ve already gone back and forth a lot. But he and laura weren’t there. Stiles tells him what he did. They have a ~moment~

Derek wants so very much to join stiles’s pack, but he doesn’t want to lose laura.

Something finally convinces laura to take the plunge and the stillinksi pack is one happy family

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

Companions and their mental health statuses?

(Wrote this while listening to a Spotify playlist named "going absolutely fucking apeshit" anyway- I'm gonna split this up by what I think character wise...and then my experiences with these seggsy bitches in game bc boy, it's been wild)

Cait:

•Sufferer of severe trauma throughout her life.

•Shit just gets worse

•Fights for her life and has a strong love for psycho before a special someone convinced her she is worthy of being loved

•Trust issues out the wazoo..for sadly, good reasons.

•Maybe not the worst on the list, but definitely up there.

In game experience...

•GOD DAMN FALLOUT VERSION OF LYDIA- like seriously? Gtfo the doorway! I'm getting blown up!

•Hates everyone and everything except sole and breaking the law.

Curie:

•Actually not all that bad...except for secret abandonment issues.

•Usually masks it by burying herself in research.

•As far as these poor bastards go, she's probably one of the most mentally stable- which is scary.

In game experience.....

•Sweet Frenchie with asshole pets.

(I don't travel with her often 🥲)

Danse:

Pre-Blind Betrayal-

•Confirmed sufferer of PTSD

•Blames himself for the death of several team members.

•Evidence points towards un-talked about alcoholism.

•Seems to be attracted to power armour..

•Not very good but not the worst on this list..

Post-Blind Betrayal-

•Same as above but add on identity crisis times a thousand and two.

•Will literally kill himself (or let you kill him) if you don’t convince him otherwise.

In game experience....

•Fucking goes apeshit, pre or post BB

•Completely unaware of his surroundings unless it has to do with vertibirds flying over head, then it's time for guerrilla warfare. "Fate has decreed that you must die!"- he speaks, drawing a laser rifle.

•Has been caught on multiple instances doing drugs out of the drug vending machine in Nuka World despite clearly being against them.

Deacon:

•Probably one of the more mentally fucked.

•Lost his wife in front of his own eyes in a notably terrible way.

•Escapes his deep seeded pain through his elaborate schemes, justifying it by telling himself it helps his organization.

•Still feels like shit every waking minute.

•Cant really allow himself to get close to anyone because of his experiences.

In game experiences...

•Asshole

•Jumpscare king, mainly because I didn't know he changed outfits THAT often.

•Doesn't like physical affection???  Shit that actually makes sense..

•Stalker.

Gage:

•He's pretty "meh" on the sanity scale. He's ruthless, but he's entirely stable besides his attachment issues.

•Trusts too easy and hates himself for it...also tries to make himself not be that way and for the most part, it works!

•Problematic raider.

In game experience...

•Makes stupid comments at inappropriate times as though he wishes for the enemies to murder us

•Thinks that walking through walls is entirely possible and gets stuck every time I run with him

Hancock:

•The actual worst on this fine list of mentally messed up individuals.

•Self worth is just nonexistent despite being a pretty all around decent guy

•Uses drugs to cover up terrible trauma to the point of putting himself in the greatest danger just short of dying

•Oh yeah, doesn't mind death actually.

•Doesn't feel worthy of anything deep down.

in game experience...

•Shoots sole for stealing shit in the third rail

•Unhinged

•Sits for hours

Macready:

•Lost his wife in a horrific way

•Only has his son, who he is convinced is going to die sooner than later because of something he can't control

•Willing to do everything if it means caps to send to his sick child

•Doesn't really have a place to call his "home"

•Reckless and unforgiving

In game experience...

•Being nice? How dare you speak such ill language.

•Kleptomaniac

Maxson:

•Does as good as a boy his age with all of the responsibility possibly could.

•Just imagine- your dad died when you were super young. Your mother shipped your ass away. The people you loved like family died all around you. Now you're stuck in foreign land and have no fucking idea where to begin, only that you have to mobilize these fuckers you're in charge of and remain a good leader...

•Still not good enough? Okay, pile on insomnia, alcoholism, and the thought that you have no one alive that truly loves you as more than just the "elder". Oh, but you eventually got to spit out some kids somehow because you're the last of the great "Maxson" line...

•Also not exactly on the "stable" side..

In game experience...

•Stares intently down the Prydwen command deck with his hands behind his back..for hours.

•Never wants to chat :(

•Long winded and short sighted, bad combo..

Nick:

•Has to deal with not only demons that technically aren't even his, but after "reunions"- Kellogg's fucked up self haunts him. He keeps it to himself and suffers silently.

•Deals with the pain of knowing there will never be a place where is truly just himself. He's a man trapped inside of a metal cage..and yet he's not even really "that" man, is he?

•One could easily understand how he has some issues too.

In game experience...

•Cigarettes? Yes.

•Oh, Youre in a fight? Seems like a good time to tighten the bolts in my hand right about now...

•Wields a flamer like a champ.

Piper:

•Surprisingly..has the most sound mental state out of all.

•Is a little obsessive tho

•Has had to adapt to the role of sibling and parent to her younger sister, which isn't easy for anyone.

•Often delves into her work, sort of like curie, to avoid dealing with the pain of her parents no longer being there for her or nat.

In game experience..

•Hey kid, want some Nuka-Cola?

•Mayor McDonough shall die, even if it means execution by the hands of everyone else in Diamond City.

Preston:

•Has canonically admitted to considering suicide.

•Is holding onto the last threads of hope he has with a fucking death grip.

•Definitely not of the best mental state

In game experience...

•Doesn't know how to properly use furniture.

•Can hear sole coming from a mile away and is already getting the map out for the next settlement

X6-88:

•Emotions? Is that a snack?

•Seriously though, he has been "reset" so many times that sometimes-he doesn't even realize it- he doesn't even know what "he" is. Every aspect of who he is..it should be gone, he's a machine and he knows it...why does he still feel like a person?

•Short story, he hates life. He hates being held captive and being used like a damn hound to hunt down those who were smart enough to run- those of which he envied and didn't even realize he did. Hey, he's just a machine though- it's his job and he knows better than to revolt.

•Violence is the freedom he feel he has. He can kill and track in any way he wants, so long as it is successful and what the Institute deem appropriate. It's horrible, but he doesn't realize it- and at this point he doesn't care. The death of another and the way they die by his hand is just his way of expressing who he is deep down.

In game experience...

•Oi, you don't like the institue? FUCK YOU

[sourdough-morbread]

i havent screamed about mordred in a while so. here are some headcanons

- he doesnt remember before the age of nine, after the village he was living in got raided by camelots knights. its only vague pieces of hlaf formed memories. he isnt sure if they are his or if its cerdans retellings forming an image in his mind. all he knows is its a miracle he survived. usually they kill the children first.

- he does have one memory he knows is his. a well and a faceless image of an older boy showing him light tricks in the water. he doesnt know who the boy is, and its too overwhelming to ask cerdan for a long time. and when mordred is ready, cerdan is long dead.

- he is used to being alone. he has barely known anything else. he was alone for a long time before he joined the round table. probably ever since camelot broke apart alvarrs forces. he was alone among the druids too- he was a warlock. his existence made whoever he was with a bigger target and the druids knew that. and the people he was living with made that known. mostly unintentionally. but mordred has always been perceptive. he knew how people saw him.

- thats why he gets attached to morgana immediately. she is the second warlock he has ever met. she is like her, and she saves his life at the risk of facing Uther Pendragaon. then she shows up in the forest of ascetir, its his biggest wish coming true, so much that he thinks he is dreaming before he hears her scream in his mind and drags aglain after him with barely five words that are definitely not enough to explain whats going on.

- he teaches morgana the basics of easing off magic flares. thats the name for whats happening to her magic. its basically your magic into a spasm and surging at whatever high affinity thing it can find. like fire of a candle or water in a vase. he knows the druids are not going to let her stay for long, even in his wishful thinking. they will try to help her, sure, but he is the only person who knows what it is like for your magic to do that. and he knows if she doesn't learn this it is basically sending her to her death.

- when he hears about morganas betrayal, he doesnt believe it. 'corrupted by magic' he hears people whisper, 'fired crossbows into the crowds, what a monster.' and he knows its bullshit. because magic isnt not fucking corruptive, and she would never do that. she knows what it is like to be afraid. she wouldnt do that. this is some lie uther has come up with and told all the bards to sing. she must have been found out. that's the only explanation that makes sense.

- he joins the saxon bandits in 5x01 to get to morgana. he hears of morgana raising an army against camelot in the name of magic and it confirms everything he thought all along. and druids of the north are more warlike. fortress of ismere has belonged to them for centuries. this is hope. all that stuff about her kidnapping people for some nefarious project? obvious lies.

- except they are not. which is. concerning. but he still pushes on. this is the first time he felt like there was actual hope for magical people.

- his concerns disappear when he meets morgana again. its... surreal to see her. oddly enough the think that sticks out to him the most is that he is now taller than her. its just very weird to be taller than her. but other than that she is morgana. the only person to care about him so readily. he can feel her happiness just at his existence.

- except the whole tearing apart ismere thing. that he cant forget about because its scarred into the magic around him. he doesnt think she knows the damage she is doing. sensing magic is even rarer than warlocks.

- when she proves to him that all she really wants is revenge against arthur, he feels sick. its his worst fears he didnt know he had come to life right before his eyes. he can barely breathe, trying no to get lost in his thoughts. he cant go back to being hopeless and doing nothing but hiding among camelotians.

-thats why he joins arthur. reason says he should leave. joining camelot is dangerous. it is like going to the belly of the beast. except he cant go back to doing nothing and arthur, unlike morgana, actually cares about people. which is a very low bar. but if morgana wins everyones doomed she will burn the kingdom to the ground and sell it piece meal to the saxons.

[isekaisyouwithmyforearmlaser]

emergency donation post. if you have the time please read for context.

please send donations to my cashapp $pikman2

hi i know i dont have tons of followers but im hoping i can get some circulation because my family is in some really dire circumstances rn.

ive always been against making donations posts because i always figured others had it worse than me, but now that theres children involved im desperate and im selling my own things/ working overtime just for cash. my moms wife, D, cheated on my mom with my moms boss after being married for 6 years with 2 kids, and up and left without trying to talk about it at all. After originally kicking us out, she realized she couldnt afford the house thats under her name alone, and let my mom and the kids and my nana live there temporarily. our name isnt on anything, and if my family gets kicked out again theyd be homeless. right now my older brother, my nana, and my two younger siblings- both elementary school children- are dependent on my mom. my mom recently lost her job because she couldnt work under her boss anymore and the entire work place was extremely bad for her mental health. D and her new GF then sent their work friend to go "spy" on my mom while she was out with her friends (D started doing coke again around last year so her behavior is erratic) and the guy who they sent physically assaulted my mom. my mom already has prexisting injuries on her back and a past broken wrist from a few different abusive exes she had years ago, AND on top of that just last year my mom got in a nearly fatal car accident that fucked up her back more, and the assault made these injuries incredibly worse.

my mom (pictured above) has been prescribed new medication, but no longer has insurance because she lost her job. she works retail now which is extremely taxing on her body. my mom lives in texas and has applied many times to state assistance programs but she keeps getting denied. The house isnt in my moms name, so she has no proof of address to allow her to get food from any nearby foodshelves. after the accident my mom has really bad fears of driving and cant drive long distance without her anxiety becoming debilitating.

my brother recently got sick and is getting tested again. my nana has social security but its only 900 a month, really only 700 after buying her meds. my mom and i are the only ones working.

below are the some of the bills my mom has to try to earn in one month on 11 dollars an hour

plus rent which is 1250 and her car insurance. currently they spend all money on bills and barely have food or hygienic products most of the time.

D  hasnt been very helpful during all this, as she expects my mom to pay  all the bills despite knowing my mom is solely responsible for the well  being of 5 other ppl rn, and despite the fact EVERYTHING is in Ds name.  unfortunately we cant really negotiate with her because she can just  kick us out and then we'd lose shelter.

TL;DR

to clarify, i live in minnesota rn, so im not asking money to help ME, but rather my immediate and closest family- 5 people, 2 children, one elderly. my moms mentally ill, has chronic pain and longlasting injuries mostly from past abusive relationships, recently got in a traumatic accident, then was assaulted by her wifes friend after her wife of 6 years suddenly left after her affair was exposed. she just got prescribed a bunch of new meds that she cant afford but needs in order to keep working, all the while needing to pay off all the bills which comes to a total of about 2,000. there are 5 people in the house- my mom, my nana, my brother and two children. they are all constantly at risk of homelessness, they barely have any food at the house, and because nothing is in there name they cant show proof of address which is required at all food shelves locally. my mom cant drive far because of her anxiety due to her past accident and shes the only licensed driver in the house.

right now ive stopped school completely to work full time at my current job in retail. im trying to find a new job that pays more so that we can start saving money so they can move somewhere affordable and no longer have to deal with D. ive been doing this since the beginning of 2020 and if youve been following me you know i also stopped my own HRT and meds just so my family can eat, which has basically fucked my mental health incredibly, as im already suicidal and have been on and off meds/therapy/inhospital since early highschool. i skip days without eating and only do it when i need to so that my family can have more money. basically, ive exhausted everything i can to help and its still not enough.

Please if you can consider sending any donations directly to my cashapp $pikman2. every little bit helps, even 1 or 2 dollars can help with small groceries. thank you.

[layanasstories]

One

I am going to tell you a story. It’s a confusing and most of all a story you might not believe. My life took a turn, in a way I never expected it would.

The last couple of years in the summer, my friend and I, took road trips. We took like two weeks of work, and traveled around countries. We have been to France, Belgium and Italy. And this year we decided to go to Germany, the Black Forest area. We will drive like a day, find a motel to stay and next day we hit the road again. We tried to avoid the high ways as much as we could. The landscapes are so much better to see when you are driving the country roads. When we find a town we like much, we stay like two days, but never longer. We both drive, and it was just at the beginning of our trip. Day three if I remember correctly.. We were just an hour on our way. We stayed at a motel, but the food was bad, the bed was hard, and we’re lacking some sleep. That’s why I was so confused when we past a road sign. But I did order Amber to stop. She pulled the car aside the road, confused why I wanted her to stop.

 

My excitement took over my confusion. You see, I downloaded a game maybe a year ago, but stopped playing or looking at it just a few month back. It said a new update would be there soon, but nothing came. So I lost a bit of interest. A murder mystery game called Duskwood. I was aware the town in the game was based on a real town in Germany. But I didn’t know the town Duskwood actually did exists. At least not that I could find on google. But this was pretty cool, how many times do some get the chance to see a the real town a game took place? I had stepped out of the car to take a picture of the sign. And then I got back into the car. “Amber, this is our next town to visit” it told my friend. She started the car looking at me a bit annoyed, but she took the right turn towards the town. “Why do you want to go to this town, Layana?” still confused “We are just driving an hour or so. And now you want to stop already?”. A huge grin appeared on my face “I will explain everything when we find the Rainbow Café. If I am correct it must be in the center of the town.” Amber shrugged her shoulders and shakes her head “Fine, you and your mysteries” she mumbled.

 

The drive to Duskwood took about twenty minutes. Again I ordered, to Ambers annoyance again, to stop at the welcoming sign Jessy had showed me in the game, when we took the digital tour through Duskwood. I wanted to take as much as pictures as I could. As we continued the road into town, we passed the motel, just as on the map. And we finally arrived at the town center. We parked the car, and walked towards the Rainbow Café. And just as I hoped, there is was. The outside sitting was open, and not very busy. So we took a table, sat down and ordered some coffee. “You better explain to me why we are here. Sure it’s a nice town. But not that impressive with the haste you wanted to see it” Amber looked at me demanding to explain. So I took out my phone. “You see, I played a game few months back, and this town where we are right now, is based on the town in my game. Isn’t that awesome!” my voice pinched a bit too high in the excitement. “Here let me show you!”. I opened the app. It took a while before the oh so familiar screen should appear. But it didn’t. It went straight to the chat history. With multiple unread texts. From Jessy, Cleo, Lilly. Even Dan tried to contact me. I was confused, like shocked confused. Jake had send me messages as well, and those are the ones I opened first.

 

Jake: Layana?

Jake: Where are you?

Jake: Are you ok?

Jake: I found something interesting to our investigation. You have time?

Jake: I am worried sick about you. Please come online

 

I couldn’t figure out how many time has been between the texts. That was always a thing, with this game. There wasn’t really a timeline. Only the real time of my phone was known. Also there was no option to respond. As I read all the texts, an earie feeling crawled up. Like a knot in my stomach. It was weird, it didn’t add up to the game play. I scrolled through all the texts send by my fake game friends. But also there was no option to respond. And all the text where kind of similar. Where I was, that they were worried. And that I needed to come online as soon as possible. It didn’t make any sense. I went back to the chat with Jake. I stared to the screen still trying to process what was going on.

 

Jake is now online

 

Jake: Hello?

Jake: Layana is this you?

Jake: Why are you not responding?

 

“I want to Jake, but I cant. There is no option to respond” I talked to my phone.

 

Jake: Wait let me help you with that.

 

“You can hear me? How?

 

Jake: I will explain later. Give me a moment

 

I saw my phone flickering, then my WhatsApp gave a notification. And the game app disappeared.

 

Jake: This must be working right?

Layana: Yes, this is working, but how?

Layana: WAIT! This isn’t real, you can’t be real. How is this happening?

Jake: What do you mean it isn’t real?

Layana: You are not real. How can you be in my WhatsApp? How did you do that?

Jake: ?

Jake: I am real, just as you are.

Layana: No, I can’t believe that. You and all the others, it is a game. This all was a just a game. Some sort of puzzle murder mystery game. And now you are saying you are real? It is impossible, I do not know who you are. But you need to quit playing this creepy game with me. I am going to block you right now!

Jake: NO

Jake: Please don’t.

Jake: Layana?

 

I tried to process everything what just happened as quick as I could. But there were to many questions. It was too confusing. But I couldn’t take the risk of blocking Jake. If he was really real, my wish came true. I had already given up the idea of meeting him in real life. Of course I never really thought that would ever happen. But a girl can dream right. So I can’t risk losing him for real, and even though I can’t process what’s happening right now, I will play along. And then it hit me.

 

Layana: Jake if you are real. And the others are real. Than … oh god

Jake: What is wrong?

While standing in the middle of the town center. I looked up from my phone, scanning arround. Realizing that the man without a face is real too. And I am in the most dangerous place I ever could be.

Jake: NO! You promised me you wouldn’t go.

Layana: That was before I knew it was all real.

Layana: Please believe me Jake. I never lied to you. It was a game, I downloaded it. And I never knew it was real. If I only knew it was..

Jake: You need to get out of there, right now! They never caught the culprit.

Layana: Jake, I am standing in the middle of Duskwood. With coffee at the Rainbow Café. I don’t think leaving will help me now. I am a stranger here, and everyone will have noticed the new face by now.

Jake: No! NO! There is no way I can protect you if you are there.

Layana: Jake I need a moment to order my thoughts. I will text you later.

I hate to end our conversation, but Amber was looking at me with worry. "Layana, tell me whats wrong? Your face is white as a sheet." She grabbed my arm while leading me back to our seat. "You need to get out of here! Take our car, and leave. Go as far as you can. Or go home even." I didn't want her here. She needed to go. "Are you crazy?! Why would I leave you here alone. No way!!" She started to speak louder. "Sst quiet. Listen, I cannot explain why. You wouldn't understand... sorry that sounded to harsh. But, your life will be in danger if you stay. I am going to be fine. I need to finish somethings here. But I can only do this if I am alone. Don't stay." I begged her. "I don't like this one bit. Has this something to do with this game of yours? Because thats rediculous, it's just a game. Don't get so worked up about it" she rolled her eyes at me. She never like games in general. But seeing me freaking out over one, is to much of nonsense for her.

I know she can't understand this all. Hell I don't understand it even. But she needs to leave, right now. "I don't care what you think Amber! You. Need. To. Go. Right. Now! Our paths will split here. You go your way and I will go mine." I put some change on the table. Grabbed my bag and walked towards the car to get my suitcase. "Fine! If that's what you want. I will go. But don't come crying to me, when bad things happen. I warned you!" Her words came out as fire. When I got my stuff from the car. She got in, amd drove off.

Great, where to go now?

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep 12 (Part 1)

The aftermath of the curse lifting~ Btw, the timeline is super messy. Flashbacks & background stories aren’t this anime’s best tool, it’s always felt messy when they attempt that. more on it in my side notes below. Now into the ep~

-Yuki & Machi: ( Blossoming Love!):

I love that the author attempted different direction of romantic love with yuki/machi that suits yuki’s personality! Opposite to kyo/tohru who had the (from best friends to lovers/ from roommates of 3 years to lovers). Yuki & machi’s love is based on natural crush & while she isnt his best friend, she’ll be his lover & they’ll know each other after dating. Both types of love are realistic & have their own path of dynamics, which is clear with how yuki/machi will be interacting & how kyo/tohru are now interacting since becoming official. I’m still bummed most of yuki/machi’s “noticing each other” is supposed to be off-screen, it robbed me of seeing yuki interact in a normal teenage-boy crushing on a girl which contrasts his relationship with kakeru, kyo, haru & tohru. Now, we’ll start the “ official-boyfriend yuki” stage! Also, this jump to confessions didnt help machi have any uniqueness beside being saved by yuki’s words from her trauma. watching her interact with him normally would’ve added realistic depth to her being a normal girl with unique cute quirks differently from tohru, Isuzu, kagura or even motoko!. Oh well~ moving on & focusing on the meaningful cute confession. I loved that altho there were a hug & a kiss, it didn’t have “ I love you” statement. You know they (will) love each other so dearly, but they’re in stage 1 now, she just called him by his first name for the first time! cute! I love that the emphasis is on the “ first name” calling since this is a huge key to yuki’s identity & struggle. Also, It is cute she bought a gift to tohru! This is a set-up to a healthy relationship with yuki since she isn’t jealous from a precious woman in his life that isnt related by blood.

-Moving towards the future: Kyoru’s final stage of growth!

By Kyokoy’s grave Kyo & tohru had key moment of growth & healthy closure to their core character issues::

1- Kyo’s toxic habit of running from life became a desire to run towards life!: While this habit is rightfully excused by his trauma, it needed to be addressed once his curse broke. We know he stopped running & faced his dad, confessed to tohru, accepted her love, embraced his crazy desire for her & accepted he deserved to be loved! Even ran towards tohru, chasing her! However, all the above is him running to the good current life in his grasp. He needs to run to the far away future this time! Needs to plan for the good & accept that the bad is part of it. struggling is part of life & he’ll endure it together with her, while enjoying life’s rewards.

I love that kyo is the one who suggested moving out to another city/place, cuz kyo was the one NOT living. He was long dead & trapped in the cage of his guilt & self-loath. Tohru at least was living thro helping others ( which is not real living but at least it’s better). Kyo was “ Mom, why didn’t you kill me instead of yourself?” ,“ I’ll kill yuki & then kill myself, would that please you, dad?!”, “ I cant forgive me, I dont want you to forgive me, tohru”. Walking on a road of self-destruction & slow death. But now, with tohru he wants life!!! all of it!! travel, learn, see, struggle, fail, succeed, build their own future by themselves.

I love that kyo didnt take tohru’s approval for his plans for granted. He really didnt think she’ll accept right away. He didnt even want her to dedice quickly, He was prepared for compromising to a better solution for them both. They’ll work other possibilities “ if i’m gonna live in this world, I want to do it with you”.

I love that kyo was real abt the obstacles ahead & didnt want tohru to just follow him based on love. He wanted her to decide on her own as well. He also, left the door open for her to change her mind anytime & this screams support & understanding!! Very powerful!.

2- Thoru’s toxic habit of being ashamed to desire anything for herself, living for others & wearing a happy “i’m okay” mask while concealing her true feelings became confidence, self-clarity & honesty: The tohru who was smiling while concealing grief on the beach is gone, the tohru who kyo had to coax her to “complain, be selfish” se01,ep5, to “not hide worrying over a relative’s sickness” se02, ep14 “ cry if she needs to” se3, ep6, is now telling kyo her honest opinion abt his proposal, while thinking of her own self as much as him & even objecting to his sentiment abt her mom’s words!!!!

I love that tohru is now a confident free woman making her own decisions based on self-honesty & communication with her partner. She wasn't just “okay” with it cuz he wants it while putting fake smile, No more of that. Now, she’ll say her true feelings, she asked him abt his plans, tried to see if it is a spur of the moment decision or if he really thought abt it. She also inquired where’s heading, who he talked to, what he’s planning! She is deciding for herself after hearing him! ok, this is your plan? I like it. I’m going!  Very powerful!.

I love that like how kyo was realistic abt the plan having some difficulties due to starting away by themselves, she was also realistic that it is indeed sad to part with my friends, my hometown, & my mom’s resting-place, but i’ll choose ME now. “I” want to go with you for “me”. This is not a bind I’ll follow you wherever love story, this is realistic depiction of healthy relationship. Acknowledging hardships & accepting them saves you from being crushed by failure, you’ll endure it when it eventually happens & move on, cuz God knows we DO fail & succeed! Life isnt smooth sailing~ 

I love that tohru complemented him on his plan cuz she could see that is a sign of growth. If she’s gonna share her life with this man, it is delightful to see that he is thinking of a happier, healthier & realistic future! Cuz kyo was this destroyed man~ so destroyed he was pushing her away despite loving her dearly, now, he’s asking her opinion & permission to accompany him!

I love that tohru made sure to touch upon kyo’s last scar “ my mom doesnt hate you” This is a scar that wont go away even if kyo is mentally healthy. Cuz death is the ultimate truth. He can never hear kyoko’s affirming her love for him, he’ll have to trust in it based on their earlier interaction together. Tohru is powerfully & stubbornly taking away most of his pain by affirming her acknowledge of her mom. You might disagree kyo, you might still feel a bit guilty, it might haunt you sometimes. but me? NO. Never. Mom loved you. She meant ONLY good. Hopefully my determination heals you bit by bit, & it DOES. Kyo stands bravely, confidently & happily in front of kyoko’s grave & instead of saying “ i apologize for hurting you, or tohru, I’m sorry, forgive me”.  he tells her he’ll keep their promise & protect tohru for life! he literally proposed there in front of her mom & all. T_T

-Kyoko’s Words: ( Sometimes, you don’t get to know the whole truth & that’s okay):

Can’t describe how much I love this part. This is the most painful yet important lesson in furuba. Life isn’t a movie where the entire truth is exposed to the characters or the audience. Sometimes you live & die without getting to know an important truth, hearing a much needed confirmation, or getting a loved one’s forgiveness. There are things in our life that we just can’t get back no matter how much we tried. What we do, then? die? despair? throw away what we DO have in our hands for this lost truth no matter how important it was to us? No, we do the only thing we can. Live. Not just go thro life’s motion, but really live. Accept the good & the bad. This is so goddamn easy & difficult as hell too!

-Kyo not knowing kyoko’s words at that time was tragic. It was so tragic it sent kyo into a suicidal descent into the abyss. The wounds of his mom’s death that were slowly healing with kazuma’s care got re-opened & poured blood! The old destructive habits became full force, The toxic coping habits returned with its ugliness. I can’t kill myself literally? I’ll do it figuratively. trapped, caged, destroyed, eyes shut, ears closed, only seeing his pain. Kyo is us. All of us in any moment of true crushing despair. He could never bring the dead back, hear their loving words or ask forgiveness. Thro kyo, the author is telling us... I know. You had your moment of lost truth, didn’t you? I know. IT IS OKAY. live, my child. your pain is valid, let it take its course, but afterwards live bravely.

-Kyo’s path towards healing is: the ugliest cuz it hurt tohru of all ppl, the longest cuz he was the last one to move on, the bloodiest cuz he’ll never have the ppl he lost, the rockiest cuz he failed & failed, the most frustrating cuz he repeated his mistakes over & over, He couldnt even do it alone. needed intervention & support. He lost hope. completely. But it is okay even if you fell as deep as kyo: stand up. even if you never learned the truth: let go. even if you were the last one to learn or heal: it isn’t a race. Embrace life with its good & bad & continue as kyoko said “ you fought well”

-Kyoko’s parting plea to her daughter broke my heart into pieces. Death is ugly, but death is a truth that we can’t escape. The leaving ones is hurting as much as the ones left behind, but hopefully, the leaving ones will find a happiness a kin to the ones left behind. yuki’s "say a prayer & move one, one step at a time” is all you can do.

-Kyoko was: a gangster who hurt others (ugly path), repented, married & had a daughter (fulfilling path), widowed & left her daughter while grieving (ugly path), came back, repented & tried to raise tohru well, love her enough! (fulfilling path), died & left her young high school daughter all alone (heartbreaking path) but she accepted that the last path isn’t sth she can fight, prayed, & accepted her fate~

-Kyoko~~ “ you fought well”  while you were alive~ you really did! The Tohru you left behind helped a whole clan & hopefully readers as well! you tohru is loved by an entire generation of readers & anime watchers. Tohru is so precious & I can’t stop crying~

Side Notes:

Timeline is super messy & confusing. (a) Tohru’s hospital discharge, kyoru’s hug & curse break for everybody all happened at the (late) afternoon. While curse was breaking, akito was wearing her white kimono & she cried until tohru hugged her on sunset. (b) Before tohru’s hospital shigure’s face was scar-less. we first saw the scar in the afternoon & he was wearing his kimono.

Now the flashback, Akito wearing her outfit from her talk with the maid (which also happened while kyo was talking to his dad which is on the same day) & shigure wearing suit & it’s sunset time??????? How can the sunset happen before the curse break on the afternoon? She inflected the scars on the sunset, how did he have them on the afternoon of the same day?? both changed outfits which is even weirder??? Someone help me put things on order. Or is order not important? If the sequence of events isn’t important, then, why did it have to happen on the curse break day??? Shigure could’ve had his scars a day or two before tohru’s discharge.

Also the OP started in the middle of yuki’s scene which was so odd!

No big deal, but I still feel that yuki’s curse break would’ve been thematically powerful last ep. Especially after seeing The Zodiac Ruler come & collect the spirits. The legend would've been wrapped powerfully on the same ep where it was told. We see the zodiacs’ original story & we see its closure. It would’ve made tohru/akito’s hug more symbolic. An end of an era to akito & to them all. Real Goodbye to the zodiac animals, but now we had a goodbye & a half. lol.

Is yuki the only one seeing the cursed spirit? He looked down at it? I dont remember the others looking down where an animal would be? Is yuki’s curse special? different? He got all the ropes/bonds around him? I really thought yuki’s theme is all abt desiring to be normal & despising the “special” treatment that haunted him even in school. 

Momiji/ kagura /kyo interaction is cute!

Haru/Yuki/ Isuzu interaction is cute as well. XD

Kagura, girl, you used to have best fashion, what’s up with jeans under knee length dress?! lol.

I’ll be honest. It is a lost opportunity that machi weren't made to question how teen-tohru is yuki’s mom. That would’ve solidified her as a unique stand alone character if she were to discuss it with yuki. Tohru being yuki’s mom figure is not normal, otherwise yuki’s entire dilemma of figuring out his feelings for tohru would’ve become meaningless. Having machi quickly “understand” it is a bit weird. But it helps the plot move quickly, I guess. ( it reminds me of Arisa hugging akito when she confessed stabbing kureno without questioning anything, it is weird, but you get the message that “ we aint got time for that~ gotta hop on the next plot).

I love that furuba subverted the old anime-trope of the entire happy cast staying together in one city/place & living exactly like they did in their teens except being married now! XD. It is so realistic that each character is now moving on their path of life~

Tohru wore a ring in her foreshadowing vision! SHE WORE A RING! My baby girl is a grown woman now~ T_T. I love tohru so much!~

Shigure/ akito & the last banquet is in my review part 2. I’ve been editing out any thoughts abt Shigure from my previous posts. I needed to see the whole picture first. I think can now talk abt them, I’m looking forward to the comments of the next part cuz I really really need to see if I understood it or if i’m off.

[kidney9-9]

hey luv ! love the lil pairings you do. I was hoping i could get one. im a huge lesbo to start off lmao. Im 5’7, i have long curly brown hair and am a neuroscience major and lowkey like crave academic validation kind of a problem bc that’s where a lot my anxiety comes from. Like the other anon (btw that one was so cute) I get really bad anxiety to the point of like chest pain and i cant stop shaking. I also box in my free time helps me cope a lot tbh. I dont really like big social events, like parties and big friend groups and stuff, i keep my circle small and usually just stick to like 2 to 3 ppl max. I dont like ppl over at my place at all either lmfao, hence why i live alone w my cat. I am also a huge fan of like depressing weather lmao, like rain and snow and cloudy days, i love it. so yeah that’s mee. happy holidays btw :)

hi there, thank you for sending this in! i'm sorry you deal with anxiety as well omg. it sucks so much, i hope it goes away for all of us! also thank you :) happy holidays to you as well! i pair you up with Wanda!

how you met: buying cat food! while Wanda started to try to live an ordinary life, she adopted a cat and realized how crazy but fun it was living with a cat. when she went to go buy cat food, she asked for your advice on which brand to use because a certain one made her cat sick. after chatting about that, she asked what other products you use for your cat, and you ended up switching numbers to talk to each other about cats. after a few cute cat pics, she asked you out!

first kiss: when you were talking about your major, Wanda zoned out and just stared at your lips. she was completely impressed by you, but she was still lost on certain topics you taught her about. she didn't want to interrupt you because she loved hearing your voice, and you looked so happy whenever you spoke about your major. when you realized she wasn't really listening, you said, "i think it's going to snow today. i love snow so much." and she replied, "yeah, me too." while it was a very hot and summery day. you ended up laughing really hard, and Wanda was just in awe watching you. when you finished laughing, she leaned across the table and kissed you. she quickly apologized and pulled back, but you tugged her back for another kiss

first anniversary: she took you to a cute cabin during some snow days and you guys spend the entire week there. it was a lovely, secluded place, and you got away from thinking about school since it was during a break. you felt super relaxed and thankful that Wanda planned it. one of the nights in the cabin, she set up the fireplace, and put on one of your favorite movies! you guys cuddled the entire night, and before you fell asleep, she whispered, "i really love you so much". you got her a ton of gifts. you loved seeing her happy. the gifts ranged from big to small, varying from almost anything possible. by the time she finished opening the gifts, you gave her a sweet kiss and told her the most important one was saved for last. you gave her a note attached to an empty box. when she saw the box was empty, she was confused but read the note. "i will give you everything i can to show my love for you" it said. she ended up crying because it was so cute!

[wizkiddx]

hiiiii !!! if you are accepting requests at the moment, can i ask something about reader and tom expecting a baby, one day while he’s drunk she sees him flirting with another women and when she confronts him he snaps at her and tells her he’s not ready for this “shit”. So they broke up and broke contact for months, until he shows in her apartment regretting his words and they talk but she suddenly at that moment gets into labor?!? I remember seeing a concept similar in a movie but I would love if you couldn’t bring it to life! Thank you so much in advance, appreciate your work a lot 🧸🤎

right so I loved this so much it has become a multiple parter and im not even going to apologise. so thanku so so much anon for getting me out a little rut!!!

summary: when toms caught out all hope looks lost - probs part 1 of 3 but it could get a bit longer too lol

warnings: serious angst, reference to abortion, cheating, a whole lot of swearing (im British sorry not sorry)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi babe, just to let you know Yamna’s invited me out for dinner this evening so don’t worry if you get home early and im not back! I love you x”

It was a spur of the moment plan, which was a rarity recently. The past 5 months since you’d found out, you could name barely 5 occasions you’d been out past 8 oclock- trading your heels for fuzzy slippers and dresses for massively oversized tops and joggers. It wasn’t how you had expected to be spending the summer before your 25th birthday but it was now your life. The rooftop bars, the wild nights, the get aways had all sort of been cancelled for… for the rest of your life.

Because an 8 month pregnant belly isn’t something you can ignore.

Sure…. it wasn’t the plan. Not the plan to be pregnant with your boyfriend of only 6 months, who at the time you didn’t even live with. But you were making it work. And now, you were just excited. It was the start of a new story with Tom, and you’d got past the phase of being sad and mourning your youth. Because the little bubba inside of you, she was pretty awesome and you really couldn’t wait to meet her.

So yes, you had been home alone eating ice cream from a tub when Yamna knocked on the door. She’d been one of your best mates for as long as you could remember so when she’d turned up unannounced with mascara smeared under her eyes you’d cancelled your plans of a pathetic alone evening. Her boss had just given her the sack - which was no surprise. He was a backwards tory old git who couldn’t handle the fact Yamna was a woman doing the job better than he could ever dream of.

So yes, you’d suggested going out to the fancy new bar down the road - to celebrate the fact she no longer had to put up with the arsehole. Obviously you couldn’t drink and neither did Yamna, but you go to a bar for the atmosphere - and the selection of mocktails they had was insane.

Your boyfriend Tom was already out, he said he had a meeting and then dinner with some execs he needed to shmoosh. Of course you didn’t mind, but he had been working a lot recently, in order to be able to have the time off when your baby girl arrives.

So after sending a little text and giving Yamna another hug to try and turn the evening from disappointment to celebration you walked out the door with a smile on your face. Maybe you could pretend, just for an evening to not be pregnant and whale-like?

///////////////////////////

The bar was just a 10 minute walk so it wasn’t long before the two of you were soaking up the atmosphere. It was all decorated in a rustic fashion, with old exposed wood and dangling lightbulbs from the ceiling and the drinks were incredible. The type that have dry ice or flames or some other sort of fantastical display of edible decorations. Even Yamna had perked up, especially when a guy from the table across had bought you both a round of drinks.

“I’m just gonna pop to the loo.”

“Do you really need the toilet or do you just want to parade infornt of the fit rich man who keeps looking at you?”

“ Is both an option?” You laughed as Yamna slipped off her stool, winking rather dramatically as she did so. She was unbelievable - but at least this way she wasn’t thinking about her work, or lack thereof, anymore.

Happily you sat scrolling though your phone, seeing that tom had messaged you with an okay, before flicking through instagram.

And that was where the happiness ended.

For in a hurried manner, with a face looking a lot more ghosted than when she left, Yamna took her seat again.

“Are you okay?” Immediately your worry took over, the way she was biting her lip and not meeting your eyes not helping.

“I um yeh-yeh. Just I think I saw Tom.”

“Tom as in my Tom?” Her almost guilty looking nod had your scrunching your eyebrows, why was it such a big deal Tom was inside?

“He didn’t see me I don’t think but er… he just looked pretty close to a girl and I-“

To be honest you stopped listening at that point, heart dropping out the bottom of your chest. Because it made sense, he had been so distant recently and even if you’d been lying to yourself that it were work - this seemed much more likely. Whilst nodding along, pretending to listen to Yamna, instead your attention was solely focused on fiddling with the promise ring he’d got you after the two of you decided to keep the baby. He’d been so committed, so ready for this unexpected news. He’d said he was in for the long haul.

“Y/n?”

“sorry I um… it’s probably just a work colleague he needs to sweet talk. I’ll um-I’ll just go say hello.”

“I’m coming with you.” She spoke astutely, very much forcing herself into the situation.

“No no I’ll… I’ll come back if I need you, just wait here.”

Her face was so grim and destitute, as much as you were pretending it was okay - you knew it wasn’t. Before Yamna could protest further, you slipped off your seat ( clumsily thanks to the elephant belly) and walked with fake confidence back inside.

It took you barely 3 seconds to hone in on Tom, call it mothers intuition. He was on a booth in the corner with 5 others on his table but none of whom you recognised. It was 2 other guys and 3 girls - the six all paired off in mathcingly initimate conversations. Apart from that you payed almost zero attention to the others, attention solely focused on your boyfriend and the girl he had his arm round.

She was everything you weren’t. She was skinny - you, as previously mentioned, looked like you had a beachball stuffed under your top. She was blonde with sleek and perfectly styled waves at the tips of her long her - yours was thrown into a messy bun due to the last minute plans.

Most importantly - right now she was wrapped in Toms arms, whilst you stood alone watching.

God knows what came over you, but with confidence you never normally had you marched up to the table, just waiting at the end. One of the men you didn’t recognised, arrogantly asked you ‘can I help you’ - but you completely disregarded it, eyes solely fixed on Tom. He took a moment more to look away from the leggy girl, but as soon as he did his eyes grew massively wide.

“Y/n I-I-“

“Fancy bumping into you, I thought you were out with work executives?” Frantically casting his gaze across the table, you could see the cogs whirring to try and come up with an explanation.

“No I-I was but then Charlie here came over, we used to be mates at school and-“

“Oh fuck off Tom., I cant deal with this right now.”

You didn’t even have the energy to listen to his clearly fake excuses as to why he’d landed himself in that situation. You also certainly did not have it in you to maintain the strong face, you could feel everything shattering inside of you.

Because it was so blindingly obvious by how he had acted. You’d caught him out and you both knew it.

And it fucking hurt like hell.

So you exited the bar as fast as physically possible, hearing the shouts of both Yamna and Tom behind you. You didn’t know what you needed in that moment - except that neither of them were the answer. Tom though, presumably the faster of the two, managed to catch up - grabbing your arm to make you halt in the road.

There was this moment between the two of you that time almost seemed to freeze. The two of you, in an otherwise pretty empty residential street, at 9:30 at night, in a moment that you would never have again. From your point of view, you saw the slightly bloodshot and bleary eyes, widened with panic and fear. For Tom he saw the floods of tears down your cheeks, which you hadn’t even noticed were freely streaming.

But in that moment there was, at least, the slightest bit of peace. The slightest bit of hope - that he could explain, that he had some ludicrous but valid reason for the situation you had walked in on. Just a smidgen of hope that this were recoverable.

But then he had to open his bloody mouth.

“Y/n I swear nothing-“

“That didn’t look like fucking nothing!”

“It was I swear! We just-“

“Tom this is your one and only chance. I don’t care if your off your face, if you don’t give my a miracle of a reason as to what the fuck THAT was - then I’m gone.”

“Don’t say that Y/n, you don’t mean th-“ He tried to grab your hand which you snatched away, like you had just scalded it on a hot plate. Like he had hurt you.

“I swear to god I’ve never meant anything more. So cut the shit.”

“FIne-fine! Um so we were at the meeting and then on the way out I bumped into George and hes been a good mate of mine for years.” All you did was hum, arms crossed and making sure you had a metre of distance between the two of you.

“So he said god you look like you need a drink and I agreed because its been stressful as hell recently.”

“Oh its been stressful; for YOU has it? I’m so sorry Thomas, has it been hard for you while i’ve been throwing my lungs up with morning sickness? Has it been stressful that I’ve been running on zero hours sleep because she kicks me all bloody night? ” Your words were laced in a posioned sarcasm, to which Tom just stammered to.

“Please just let me.” Given he was supposed to be fighting for you, he sounded pretty darn defeated already.

“I said yes to the drink.” He skipped out the bit that had angered you, to which you rolled your eyes at. “And one turned into two and more and then I don’t know-“

“Your going to have to try a lot harder than that.” You deadpanned, taking a small step further back still.

“I mean it! The girls were all his friends and we were just talking.”

“Just talking? All pressed up and arms round her?”

“Yes!” As indignant as he retorted, it didn’t not make up for what you had seen with your own eyes.

“Your such a bullshitter Tom!”

“God why wont you just listen to me?” He cried, wobbly doing a little 360 on the spot, in what appeared to be exasperation.

“Because your just spouting fucking lies! And you try and blame it all on poor little tommo being stressed which is-“

“I HAVE BEEN! Running round after you! I’m just tired of this shit!!! So kill me, for having one night of freedom!”

Tom was too deep in his angry lecture to take any notice of you. Which is why, once finished, he waitied, breath heavy and nose flaring. He was waiting for you to scream back at him. To give it back. He was too drunk to notice the change in your demeanor.

“I’m tired of this shit.”

It was just reverberating round your head. Again and again and again. He was tired of your relationship and you hadn’t even become parents yet. He was at his wits-end and the baby was still unborn. What the fuck was going to happen when baby arrived? Clearly there was no hope. It was dead. Your relationship was dead with no chance of revival.

Because he’d said it. Your relationship was shit, and nobody can put up with something they hate for that long. Not 18 years. Not while bringing up a child.

So with a new sense of dread and fear and complete and total isolation you uttered three single words before hysterically running away.

“Don’t follow me.”

Not now, not ever.

?to be continued?

~~~~~~~~~~gahhhh I hope u enjoyed! I also REALLY CANNOT THINK OF A NAME FOR THIS MINISERIES --> if anyone can think of something pls inbox me!!! ~~~~~~~~

tom taglist: @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08 @prancerrparkerr @wildxwidow @Elishi03 @arctic-monkcys @Ownbauer13 @tomhollandlol

[beomglocks]

colors ; k.th

part of the badlands series!

colors: “you’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece.”

based off halsey’s badlands album.

warnings and other: museum curator!taehyun, old money!y/n, mentions of depression and grass smoking, little bit of angst i guess??

taehyun sighed as he took down the 11th painting this week. the museum hadn't been very busy in the past couple of weeks, maybe because the weather was getting colder. one part of him figured that many people just wanted to be bundled up at home watching holiday themed movies and drinking warm drinks rather than appreciating enchanting artworks.

he couldn't fool himself though, he knew the truth. today's generation didn't care about the fine arts anymore. a shame, seeing as everything around them seemed to be inspired by it.

kang taehyun worked at his local museum. he had been offered the position by the owner one night while roaming the place. this should've been a red flag looking back. the owner seemed desperate for someone to fill in the position since the previous employee had left without notice. nonetheless, taehyun took the job and didn't regret it one bit.

open 24/7, the red haired boy was always working on the clock. not that there was much to do seeing as most of the people his age or even a bit older didn't hang around museums purely for the joy of it. actually, his only job was to exhibit the newly arrived collections, clean and dust them off, and conduct regular tours and workshops for the public. due to this and the fact that not many people even came by he would take regular breaks.

once in a while you'd see the occasional old person or art expertee roaming around the small museum. if you were lucky, you'd see the local edgy teens posing next to a piece they didn't understand just to get an aesthetic picture. taehyun would also have the unfortunate job of shooing them away or scolding them for getting just a bit too close.

recently his boss, who was the museum manager and maybe the only other person besides taehyun that worked there, had informed him that due to funds and unfortunate unforeseen events, the museum would be closing down in about a month from now. this caused taehyun to fall deep into a depression since this was his only job and he loved it here. the museum was like his second home. he found comfort in the silent images displayed throughout the building. they always told him a story and when new pieces came in he would sit and stare attentively at the new anecdote being told to him.

taehyun smiled sadly at the piece he had just taken down. it was a painting of 2 people kissing however both of their faces were covered by white cloths. this was his favorite and he didn't even have a clue as to why. probably because of the uncertainty of what the other was feeling or because of the fact that the other couldn't see each other's faces through the cloth, that would've made the kiss more exciting in his opinion.

he stepped out of the museum and into the frosty air of the outside world. it was only autumn so why was it so cold? he thought to himself. he discreetly pulled out a prerolled blunt and his white lighter from his pocket. he lit it and stuck in between his slightly chapped lips.

maybe smoking dope wasn't the healthiest thing in the world, especially for a boy so young, barely 19, but it helped taehyun get his mind off the inevitably of losing his job and being homeless for the winter. he shuttered at the thought. he would have to room with one of his friends, he sighed shaking his head. no, he didn't want to be a burden, yeonjun had helped him enough as it is.

he looked at his surroundings taking in the cold autumn afternoon. the trees had long lost their leaves and were bare. the sky was a murky gray color as if it were threatening to rain any time soon. he noticed a girl bundled up in winter clothes near the entrance of the building glance at him. he smiled at her and she jumped at the eye contact, thinking that he wouldn't catch her. taehyun chuckled as he watched her rush into the museum. "back to work," he said out loud to himself.

once the blunt had been almost gone, he smoked what was left of it and headed back into the empty museum. he was feeling light-headed, the effects of the blunt finally taking action, but taehyun was used to it so it barely affected him as much.

he made his way to the girl who was now starting to take off her jacket and scarf. taehyun tapped on the girl's shoulder to get her attention. "hi," he smiled at the girl, showing off his dazzling smile. "if you'd like, i could give you a tour of the museum." well what's left of it anyways, he thought to himself.

"oh...no thank you," said the girl. she smiled warmly at the worker. "well not to be invasive of your decision but it's sort of in my job description," taehyun replied as he rubbed the back of his neck. the girl sighed in defeat, "i guess i have no choice then."

taehyun laughed as he took her coat and scarf to hang up in the public closet, "yep, trust me. they say im not that bad of a tour guide, im quite fun to be around if i do say so myself. i promise not to bore you too much." the girl nodded, not entirely convinced. "if i do end up bored i will hold you accountable..." she took a moment to take a peek at taehyun's name tag, "kang taehyun," she joked.

as they walked through the museum the girl couldn't help but notice that it was fairly empty. "why are there almost no paintings in here?" she laughed hesitantly. "i thought this was a museum?" taehyun stopped walking, turning to her with a sad expression on his face.

"the museum is expected to close in about a month or so," he stated simply. "oh...that's terrible. may i ask why?" the girl responded. "my boss says we've run out of funds or something like that," taehyun chuckled bitterly. "people don't really give a shit about good art these days anyways."

"that's a shame..."

they continued to look through the various paintings that were still up and occasionally the girl would ask to see the ones that were taken down and left on the floor. it seemed the two were lost in each other's company as night started to approach.

"thank you for the tour of this lovely museum taehyun. it was fun but it's a shame such a nice museum like this is closing down," the girl said softly. taehyun nodded solemnly, he just wanted to get this day over with and crash at his apartment. he didn't blame the girl before him but talking to her reminded him of his harsh reality. a notification coming from the girl's bag made both of them jump as they were both lost in their thoughts.

"ah, that must be my father. he's kind of annoying when it comes to my curfew," she chuckled, digging her phone from her bag. taehyun watched her with a bored expression until his eyes reached her bag. he hadn't noticed this earlier but she had been carrying a louis vuitton bag. his eyes bulged at the expensive item that was so close to him, they got even larger when she fished out the latest iphone from it.

taehyun wasn't poor per se, he had just enough to get by since he was living paycheck to paycheck. however, he had never been in such close proximity to any luxury items. he suddenly felt weird being this close to this girl.

"what do you mean by curfew?" taehyun asks hesitantly. the girl sighs, "my father is one of south korea's richest chaebol's, maybe one of the big three at his point." she rolled her eyes as if this information was nothing. "he's super strict with me because i guess i'm just his show pony daughter whom he can show off to say he's a good father."

taehyun gulped, had he just been casually hanging out with the daughter of one of the richest men in korea? he felt sick at this. she looked up at taehyun's uneasy expression, "oh my god im sorry i just dumped that all on you! i just needed to catch a break so i came here, i didn't mean to drag you into my life story."

taehyun fixes his face, laughing nervously, "no- no its fine really. we all need a break sometimes right? im glad you got to have that time here." the girl smiled up at him, completely misreading his nervous laughter, "im glad i got to spend it here with you taehyun."

"oh before i go!" taehyun watched her pull out a checkbook from her bag and his stomach dropped. he silently watched her scribble some stuff onto the slip and tear it out, handing it to him.

"there's not too much i can take out of my account without my father flipping out but i hope this helps even just a little. whether it be in your personal life or with the museum."

taehyun eyes the check and chokes when he sees 50,000 dollars written neatly on the black line. he swears he can feel sweat going down his face like in the cartoons. "i- i cant possibly take this from you." he moves to hand the check back but the girl refuses to take it back. "taehyun, you love this museum with your entire being. i see the way to look at the paintings and the passion with which you explained them to me. i'd hate to see that taken away."

"plus, if you're gone who's gonna give me the tour when i come back?" she laughs as if this is something casual. taehyun's hands shake as he pockets the check, "i seriously cannot thank you enough...you don't know how much you just helped the museum and m-"

the girls phone dings again and she grumbles, "ugh why can't he just leave me alone. sorry but i think i really gotta go for real before he tracks my location or something crazy like that."

taehyun nods wistfully at the mention of her having to leave. he was really starting to enjoy her company.

"oh by the way," the girl giggles as she pulls her coat on hurriedly.  "was that you smoking weed at the corner of the museum earlier?" the girl chuckled to herself again just remembering it. taehyun furrowed his eyebrows, "why would you say that kind of thing at out loud and at my job?!" he scolded in a playful hushed voice.

"i just thought it was funny and you also smelled of weed the entire tour, i didn't mind though so don't worry," the girl concluded. she was starting to walk away towards out the door now. "i'll walk you out," taehyun offers. "such a helpful employee. is this in the job description too?" the girl jokes, turning to him while a smile on her lips. "well, not exactly," taehyun says smoothly.

she shakes her head, "i'll see you soon taehyun." he watches her walk off into the darkness of the night when he suddenly remembers something.

"hey what's your name by the way?" he shouts after the girl. for some reason taehyun really was hopeful of seeing her again.

"y/n!" came the disembodied voice of the girl he had just met.