#she took her role and absolutely ran with it lmao

[cassmouse]

Okay so despite all the obvious problems with the representation of Roxie and also the representation of her relationship with Ramona in Scott Pilgrim Vs The World... Mae Whitman still does an absolutely excellent acting portrayal of Roxie and I love her for that lmao

[her-satanic-wiles]

October 20th

Foodplay, Aurora x Reader

Masterlist

Words: 4.7k

Warnings: Food play; hella sapphic (I was in a mood and decided to make it everyone else's problem lmao you're welcome); slow burn; chef!Reader; established relationship; blindfold; semi-public; marking; nipple play; biting; spit as lube; fingering; praise kink; cum eating; recommended listening: Opera.

Taglist: @sodoswitchimage @enchantedbunny @bitchywitchygardener @thew0man @sodomiser @the-did-i-ask @copias-sewer-rat @gehrmansbignaturals @deetz-ghuleh @onlyhereforghost @zombiesnips-blog

This is another favourite of mine, please enjoy!

🔞 MDNI 🔞

The Ministry kitchens had been dimly lit by hundreds of long, black candles, flames flickering with the gentle breeze that flowed through the air conditioning vents and cooled the metal room. The gentle and sweet tones of classic opera were floating around the room to hush the electrical hum of the kitchen appliances and make the room feel just that bit more atmospheric.

Aurora had no idea you were planning this, but now she was back off tour and Papa had given her a significant chunk of time to just exist, it felt like the perfect moment to reconnect with her. Her helmet was off, her long hair tied back in a low ponytail and your hands covered her eyes as she walked tentatively into the room.

“It smells great.” She commented, though still a little nervous. She didn’t know where you were and that was what she didn’t like.

“I hope so, it took me ages to make it all. Okay.” You removed your hands from her eyes and took a step back. You couldn’t see her face, but her audible reaction was enough to elicit a beaming smile from you.

“You did all this?” She asked, clearly pleased by the surprise.

“Well, Papa helped decorate. I wouldn’t let him go near the food for obvious reasons.”

Her beautiful hands came up to cup your cheeks as she pulled you in for a gentle kiss. “Thank you so much! I love it!”

“You’re welcome.” You wrapped your arms around her waist. “Welcome home.” You gave her another kiss before you let her go. “Right, tonight we’re playing a game.”

“Oh?”

“I have been practicing how to make these dishes to absolute perfection. I want to blindfold you and see if you can tell which dishes they are.”

“How many are there?”

“Six.”

“Six!?”

“Three meals and three desserts.”

Aurora sat at the table in the centre of the kitchen and rubbed her hands together. She tried looking around in the darkness for some hints or clues to help her tell which dishes you’d cooked, but she couldn’t see anything from her position. So, she sighed. “I’m ready, let’s go!”

You gently tied the blindfold around her eyes and made sure she couldn’t see what was happening in front of her before you ran to grab the food. You lay each item out in front of you, giving yourself easy access to each dish.

“What happens if I don’t guess them correctly?”

“You don’t get to eat tonight.”

Aurora slapped you playfully. “Don’t you dare!” She paused. “What happens if I guess them correctly?” Her tone was a little suggestive in comparison to her last question.

You sat down on the bench next to her. “What do you want to happen?”

Aurora just smiled at you. “What’s the first dish, chef?”

The first dish was perhaps the easiest of the three but by no means the least delicious. Spaghetti carbonara; a delicious dish made with spaghetti, eggs, Pecorino Romano cheese, guanciale (or pancetta), and black pepper. The luxurious richness that envelops each strand of al dente spaghetti in a delicious embrace is the first flavour to meet your taste in a dish like this.

A tantalising role is played by the salty, savoury overtones from the crisped guanciale or pancetta, which gives the dish a delicious smokiness that lingers and creates a pleasing contrast with the creamy sauce.

The Pecorino Romano cheese, which generously coats each forkful with a robust and salty tang, greets you as your teeth sink into the pasta. It embraces you with its nutty, salty embrace. By adding depth of flavour, this cheese counteracts the dish’s richness with its distinctive sharpness.

The dish becomes more complex with its taste, and adds a zesty, mildly spicy kick thanks to the finely ground black pepper that has been cracked and sprinkled throughout. It offers a soft warmth, similar to a warm embrace on a chilly night.

You twirled a fork in the pasta and tried to gather as many of the ingredients as you could in a small enough bite so as not to make a mess and make Aurora embarrassed. “Open wide for me.” You told her, your voice low and soothing against the backdrop of Pavarotti and the Philharmonia Orchestra. Gently, you deposited the forkful of food into her mouth, and watched intently as she chewed politely, moving the dish from one side to the other and working hard to figure out what it was she was eating. Her brows furrowed cutely as she thought.

“Carbonara!” She said excitedly.

That was an easy one. “Correct!” You said.

“That was incredible, though, holy shit!” She was never one to mince her words when she liked something.

You ran to the freezer to grab one of the six coupes of raspberry sorbet, and explained to her what it was. “It’s to cleanse your palate between each meal so you don’t confuse the flavours.” You fed her the whole scoop of sorbet - it was only one, but it took a few cuts with the teaspoon to get it to disappear.

The second dish was osso buco; a savory and hearty Milanese specialty that features braised veal shanks simmered with white wine, broth, onions, carrots, celery, garlic, and tomatoes. It’s often garnished with gremolata, a zesty mixture of lemon zest, garlic, and parsley, which adds a burst of freshness to the rich, tender meat. This dish is known for its complex, comforting flavors and is often served with risotto or polenta. The veal shank, which has been expertly braised, yields easily to your fork and reveals its meltingly soft, succulent core, giving off an impression of unctuous tenderness.

To create a delicious harmony of flavours that dances on the palate, tomatoes add a luscious, fruity acidity. Combined with a rich, velvety sauce that coats the meat has earthy undertones from sautéed carrots and celery and a deep, mellow sweetness from caramelised onions.

Each bite is infused with a delicate, fragrant bouquet of rosemary, thyme, and garlic, which adds layers of complexity and a tinge of Mediterranean warmth. The dish is given a depth of savoury umami and a gentle, nuanced acidity by the white wine and broth, which have been simmered to perfection.

The gremolata garnish adds the finishing touch with a burst of vibrant freshness and zest. With each forkful, the combination of zesty lemon, pungent garlic, and vibrant parsley adds a fresh, energising contrast to the velvety rich sauce and tender veal.

Purposefully, you added risotto to the dish to throw her off, hoping she’d confuse it with another dish that was somewhat similar. Which she did. “Risotto alla Milanese?” She asked.

“Unfortunately, my love, that is incorrect. You think we have the money for saffron?”

“What is it?”

“Osso buco!”

She slapped her knee. “I would not have got that in a million years!”

“Really!”

“Yes! I only ever had risotto alla Milanese once when I went with Papa on a business trip up to Milan. He paid for it. It was expensive.”

You fed her a spoonful from a fresh coupe of raspberry sorbet. “That would be because it came from one of Papa’s fancy Milano restaurants that has the money for saffron.”

You noticed that a bit of the sorbet had pooled at the corner of her mouth without her noticing. You didn’t think, with your hands full you had no way to wipe it away, so you leaned forward and placed an open mouth kiss to the corner of her lips in an attempt to not make it obvious you were straight up licking her face.

At the crescendo of Un Bel di Vedremo from Act Two of Madama Butterfly, Aurora turned and locked her lips with yours, her hands moving up to your neck to pull you in for a surprise and passionate kiss. Her tongue darted into your mouth and you could taste the raspberry sorbet on her earning her a moan from your lips.

When you finally pulled away, she giggled. “What was that?” You asked.

“The music was getting intense, I just wanted to try it out and see something.”

You fed her another spoonful. “Okay, and…?”

“That felt incredible. My heart did a flutter and it felt like I was flying.”

You giggled a little at that, but understood what she meant. It was a very cinematic moment, for sure.

The final meal was lobster ravioli, a decadent pasta dish that combines plump, luscious lobster meat with delicate pasta pillows. It’s often served with a creamy tomato or seafood sauce and garnished with fresh herbs. The first bite reveals the lobster meat, which is tender, succulent, luxuriously rich, and delicately sweet, similar to the sea’s treasures. Every morsel tastes like the salty kiss of the sea.

The lobster filling is encased in soft, velvety pasta that offers a delicate counterpoint to the robustness of the seafood. It seems as though the pasta was created to cradle and highlight the lobster’s beauty.

The dish gets a layer of lusciousness from the creamy sauce, which frequently contains tomato or seafood broth. Every mouthful is infused with a velvety elegance that contrasts the lobster’s inherent sweetness. It is rich, decadent, and subtly tangy.

The dish is garnished with fresh herbs and a hint of lemon zest or parsley for a burst of freshness and vibrancy. These components improve the flavour as a whole, like a cool breeze on a summer evening by the sea.

The oceanic allure of lobster, the delicate pasta, the creamy sauce, and the vibrant accents of herbs and citrus work together to create a harmonious medley of flavours.

On your fork, you picked up one piece of ravioli and gently placed it in her mouth, waiting ardently for her answer. “This one’s tricky.” She announced between chewing. “Definitely seafood, but I can’t tell if it’s crab or shrimp.”

“Ah, interesting.”

“Which means it’s neither.”

“What? Where did that come from?”

“Your reaction. If I was right you would have told me. It’s ravioli… but what’s the meat? Lobster? Lobster ravioli?”

“Correct.”

You went to grab another coupe of raspberry sorbet.

“Really? You can afford lobster but you can’t afford saffron?”

“Saffron is ten dollars per gram!” You sat down and began feeding her the sorbet. “Lobster is only twenty euros per kilo if you go to the right vendor. You get more bang for your buck with a lobster. Besides, one of the cardinals requested lobster for one of his own private meals this lunchtime, and I thought it was a great idea.”

“So this is cardinal leftovers?”

You sighed which triggered laughter from her. “Yes, my love, I went back upstairs after the cardinal’s dinner and I scraped all the little lobster bits off the plate and turned it into ravioli. Watch out for the extra chunks of vegetables and whatever else went into that dish. This is a real Frankenstein’s monster of a pasta dish.”

“Did you feed me this because I fuck you good and Italy doesn’t have a Red Lobster?”

You wanted to be mad at her and chastise her for ruining the moment, but your head tilted back and laughed instead at her poor joke. “There is actually a Red Lobster in Roma as far as I know.”

“And you’ve never taken me there?” She acted offended. “Do I not fuck you good enough, is that it?” She placed one of her hands on your chest over your heart.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

She placed her hands around your neck and pulled you in for another kiss. “I love you too. What’s for dessert?”

As was the same with the meals, there were three options for dessert. The first, cannoli. The delicate, shatteringly crisp exterior of the crispy shell gives way to a slightly chewy, tender interior in a symphony of textures. It resembles a golden, edible treasure chest that is filled with sweet riches.

The filling is a masterpiece of creaminess and is typically made of a velvety ricotta cheese mixture. It has a luxurious dairy richness that envelops your taste buds in a comforting embrace. It is smooth, luscious, and slightly tangy.

There is a lot of sweetness, but it’s never overbearing; rather, it’s perfectly balanced. Due to the inclusion of ingredients like tiny chocolate chips, candied fruit, or chopped nuts, the ricotta filling is frequently punctuated by flavorful explosions on a small scale. Each bite is a harmonious fusion of textures and tastes thanks to the addition of these delightful contrasts.

The cannoli is covered in powdered sugar, which adds an ethereal sweetness to go with the creamy filling. It adds sweetness in a subtle way without overpowering the overall experience.

These components work together to produce a dessert that is both indulgent and delicate, providing a sensory experience that is both texturally fascinating and flavorfully exquisite.

Aurora took a bite and was so surprised at the crunchiness, she made a sweet little noise. Her hand came up to catch as many of the crumbs as she could but quite a few had found their way to the floor.

“Cannoli!” She said immediately, her mouth still full of cannoli. “How would I not know your favourite dessert?”

“Honestly, I put this in just in case you didn’t know the rest of the dishes.”

She hit you. “Give me another bite of that, baby.”

You fed her another mouthful of cannoli, gulping at the sight of her. Her lips wrapped around it obscenely, in a way you only saw when she was on her knees taking your strap. She lifted her head to better reach the dessert you’d unintentionally held just out of reach, exposing her soft, beautiful neck in the process. You chastised yourself for perving on her while she was eating, but it had been so long since you last saw her you were almost experiencing withdrawal. And the little noises of delicious approval she gave you were going into your ears and shooting straight down to your cunt. You couldn’t help it. When she’d finished her dessert, she took your fingers into her mouth to lick off the remaining ricotta. She had to have known what she was doing, surely?

“What’s next?”

You shook your head and closed your mouth, pulling yourself out of the horny trance you were just in.

The penultimate dish, tiramisu: a beloved Italian dessert known for its luscious layers of coffee-soaked ladyfingers and mascarpone cheese. It’s delicately flavored with cocoa powder and sometimes a touch of liquor like rum or coffee liqueur. The mascarpone cheese layer offers a velvety, luscious embrace that is both delicate and indulgent, and the first spoonful is a revelation of rich, creamy decadence.

As they yield to your fork with a soft, sponge-like tenderness and release an espresso-infused essence that is both bold and mellow, like a warm, comforting hug, the coffee-soaked ladyfingers offer a satisfying contrast.

The dessert’s surface is flecked with cocoa powder, which adds a bittersweet, earthy flavour that harmonises beautifully with the mascarpone’s sweet creaminess and the coffee’s warmth.

An understated alcoholic kick, frequently from rum or coffee liqueur, adds a level of complexity and gives the dessert a chic, boozy undertone that dances on your palate.

The bitterness of the coffee and cocoa provides a well-balanced counterpoint that keeps the overall taste experience from becoming overly sweet. It is a dessert that achieves perfect harmony, much like a well-balanced symphony.

The noise she made when she took that bite was downright lewd in your overstimulated brain. It was a deep, gutteral moan akin to the noise she makes when your lips wrap around her for the first time that night. Her tongue escaped to mop up the leftover mascarpone and cocoa powder and you felt your breathing get heavier. Your mouth was open, almost drooling at the sight of her enjoying the food you cooked, your mind filling with completely sinful thoughts to the point you could barely think of anything else. Your hairs stood on end, goosebumps decorated your skin, and your eyes were watery where you’d not blinked in who knew how long. “Tiramisu.” She whispered. “My favourite.”

“Fuck, Aurora.”

“Last one. Quickly.”

The final dish: Panna Cotta. Meaning “cooked cream” in Italian, it’s a smooth and silky dessert made by simmering cream, sugar, and gelatin. The result is a delicate custard-like dessert with a subtly sweet, creamy flavor. Panna cotta is often served with a fruit coulis or caramel sauce on top for added flavor and elegance.

Each spoonful glides across the tongue with a velvety, melt-in-your-mouth sensation that is incredibly smooth and opulent, giving off an initial impression of silkiness.

The flavour is delicately sweet, like a delicate caress of sweetness, letting the cream shine in all of its pure splendour. It has a tinge of vanilla that adds a warm, fragrant embrace that improves the overall experience.

The texture is ethereal, as though a cloud had transformed into a sweet. With each delicate bite, it dissolves easily because it is tender but firm enough to hold its shape.

Her lips were stained with the red of the fruit coulis when she took her final bite and that was when the last thread of sanity inside of you snapped and exploded without your permission or desire to. You stood from your seat, throwing the cutlery down on the table and spread her legs so you could stand between them. Your hands cupped her cheek and rested on her arm as you leaned down and licked the coulis away from her top lip, the strawberry flavour tingling your tongue and earning you a moan. The hand that rested on her arm moved upwards to untie the blindfold as your tongue gained entrance to her mouth in a heated kiss, the taste of the panna cotta now registering on your tastebuds and making your girlfriend even more delicious than usual.

Being the tiny thing she was and weighing next to nothing, you picked her up off the stool and placed her on the table without breaking the kiss, your hands beginning to roam around her clothed body. The frustration you felt when you realised she was still wearing her Ghoul uniform was severe. You needed her naked. You needed her easily accessible. You just needed her.

Her waistcoat was the first to get removed and thrown somewhere into the darkness, followed by her black shirt that you all but ripped open. She squealed into the kiss, but didn’t protest, her own hands coming to remove your clothes as best as she could with you being feral in front of her. You unclasped her bra, uncaring which one she was wearing or even what the colour was and launched that across the kitchen too. Your hands worked at her jeans, ripping them from her body in desperation to get at her core. She was left only in her panties.

Your lips moved from hers, down her jaw and to that sweet spot at the crook of her neck, and revelled in the gasp she released when she felt your tongue licking and sucking a hickey into her skin. “Oh my… God!”

You kissed down to her nipple and sucked it into your mouth, swirling your tongue over the soft bud and alternating between sucking, licking and biting. Every time you bit her, her hips bucked upwards, her cunt searching for stimulation. Your newly spit-soaked fingers dipped into her panties, black lace - her bra must have been too, and began stroking her clit as soon as you reached it. Another gasp was taken from her, followed by a pornographic, “Yes!” Fingers dug into your biceps as she fought to keep herself grounded.

You released her nipple from your mouth and moved up to her lips, not kissing her, but so close you could feel her breath on your face. You delighted at the look of anguish on her face as your furiously and roughly rubbed at her most sensitive bundle of nerves, her eyebrows furrowed upwards and nostrils flared as she tried her hardest to breathe through the desperation she felt. Wanton moans tumbled from her open mouth, becoming more and more strangled the faster your fingers moved.

“You didn’t tell me what the final dish was.” You told her in a low voice, almost a growl. You felt her cunt flutter at the sound.

“What?”

“What was the last thing you ate, princess?”

“Fuck! I don’t know.”

“You have to tell me otherwise you don’t get to cum.”

“Fucking hell! ___, please!”

“What did you eat last?”

“Flan!”

“No, baby, that’s Spanish.” You inserted two fingers inside her and she released a scream when you tapped up. “Try again.”

“Fuck! I don’t know. Blancmange?”

This time you laughed at her; taunting her as you relentlessly hit her g-spot over and over again. “You know blancmange but you don’t know what you just ate?”

“Your fingers weren’t inside me when you fed me!”

Your free hand reached back over and picked up the spoon and small glass of panna cotta, shoving them both into her empty hands. “Have another taste now that my fingers are inside you.”

“Fuck!”

You backed your head up a little bit to watch her dip the spoon in the glass. Her tongue came out to steady the spoon as her hand was shaking from the pleasure until finally the spoonful of the dessert had disappeared down her waiting throat. She let out another whine at the taste then placed the glass down next to her. “Panna cotta!”

“Good girl!”

There was still a small amount of liquified and melted sorbet left in one of the coupes on the table, and so your brain did perhaps the most obvious thing once it comprehended what your eyes had announced. Your free hand wrapped around the stem and poured it onto her clavicle, wasting no time in licking it back up off of her, sucking until another hickey formed.

“Shit! I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum!”

“Cum for me.”

You felt her tighten around your fingers and pulsate as her orgasm hit her, her mouth hung open in a silent scream and gasping for her lungs to start working again. As usual, you continued to provide stimulation until her orgasm had completely ended, and her brain had begun working again and she peppered your face in kisses. “That was incredible!” She said in between pecks. Her hands made their way to your trousers and fiddled with the button to free you as best as she could. “Your turn.”

You, in the desperate need to access your lover’s body, ended up mostly clothed. You were free of your own shirt and undergarments on the top half, but your bottom half had remained untouched the whole time. And so, as soon as your positions were switched and she was standing in front of you, she made light work of the offending garments that blocked her from her goal. As soon as you were completely bare to her, sat on the table and core fully out on display, she spread your legs, pulled up a chair and got herself situated. Rather aptly timed, the sweet tones of Duo des Fleurs began to play over the speakers which made both of you giggle. It seemed ridiculous to have sex with opera in the background as oftentimes the lyrics did not match the situation, but as soon as Aurora’s began her work, you understood it immediately.

She started by giving you faint, gentle pecks to your calves that were timed irregularly so you didn’t know when they would happen. Any exposed flesh she could touch was tenderly caressed by her fingertips, adding yet another layer of sensation to the already gentle touches. Then her lips advanced towards your pubic mound. Before she kissed you, you could feel her breath flowing between your folds, making you shiver in anticipation of her touch. Sweet and soft touches working in tandem with the music echoing throughout the room had you seeing stars without the pleasure even beginning.

You unintentionally screamed out at the first broad, rough lick. However, this was quickly followed by her lips encircling your clit and sucking with as much force as they could, giving you an intense pleasure that bordered on pain. The tip of her tongue continued to work your clit in a variety of directions with her mouth still closed, her movements seeming erratic. Her head moved in all directions as she sucked on your sensitive bud to keep your pleasure as vivacious as possible, your hand still tangled in her beautiful, long hair as she gave you the most delicious pleasure. She continued in this manner for what felt like an eternity. She remained face-first in your core, unyielding and unwilling to stop until you reached your peak, even when your hips bucked and you began using her face for your own pleasure.

All of this was heightened by your surroundings, the location - the fact that anyone could walk in and see you laid bare for your lover in the place you worked. The music that made your head spin in a heavenly manner. Aurora’s tongue and mouth working to make you feel as good as she possibly could, with her fingertips digging into your flesh and rubbing soothing circles. The smell of the desserts, especially with your eyes closed, filled and clouded your senses. You’d seen the pleasure on Aurora’s face when your fingers were deep inside her as she took another bite of panna cotta, and the curiosity got the better of you. You leaned back on the table slightly and reached over to the plate of cannoli, fingers wrapping around the hard shell and bringing it to your lips.

The crunch got Aurora’s attention, but she only smirked as you enjoyed the treat with her lips still attached to you. And the sensation was nothing like you’d experienced before.

Your mouth tingled at the tang of the ricotta, your tastebuds falling under the similar control from the food that Aurora had at your centre. It offered a sensory delight that was both texturally intriguing and flavorfully exquisite; delicate and indulgent. Undoubtedly among the most delicious creations to ever grace the palate, it was a tantalising explosion of flavours. A beautiful composition of crispy, creamy, and sweet components. The combination of the dessert and Aurora treating you like one, had you floating in ecstasy and was quite possibly the most heavenly experience ever created.

Your pleasured moans occasionally harmonised with the music; your eyes rolled back. “Please don’t stop!” You practically whispered as you got ever closer to that edge, her mouth working harder and faster as ever. She knew you’d lose that feeling if she stopped what she was doing, so she didn’t. Instead, she accelerated her movements and increased her fervour and, when you’d swallowed that last bite of cannoli, you allowed yourself to fall, crashing back down to Earth from the heavens as you reached orgasm, your fist tightening in her hair and your eyes squeezed tightly shut, climaxing all over her face. Your mouth opened wide as your back arched and a stream of profanities spilled out. Aurora didn’t stop until you pushed her away.

With her swollen pink lips stained with your cunt, she was unquestionably a sight to behold as she emerged from your wetness. She sat up to get closer to your lips with a knowing smile on her face and a giggle in her throat. You pulled her in for a passionate kiss, overwhelmed by the incredible orgasm you’d just had, her thumbs continue to caress your thighs. “That was amazing, wasn’t it?” She asked, a bright smile on her face.

“We need to do that more often, holy shit!” You agreed.

“You know, I thought those cannolis were exceptional. Didn’t realise they’d be orgasmic though.”

You kissed her again. “You fucking idiot.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.” You sighed. “The food’s gone cold.”

“We have a microwave.”

“Ugh, heathen! I’m starving.”

“What, that cannoli wasn’t filling enough?”

“I’m actually going to break up with you.”

She kissed you. “Come on, let’s get dressed and get some food.”

Previous Day ⛧ Next Day

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

i’m responding to this message and sharing via screenshot because if i reply regularly, i won’t be able to block this dump heap’s IP address from successfully sending me asks. buckle up! what they said is in response to this:

if you think you’re going to step into my ask box on some “emvan just had a toxic relationship, evan was not a victim” bullshit in the form of a novel-length message, your IP address will be blocked and it’ll be the last one from you i see. don’t worry, i know how to type, too. you absolutely will not have a platform to victim blame and try and give credibility to a false narrative that pulls harmful allegations out of thin air. that is irresponsible and offensive on many levels. no one with a functioning brain inside their skull takes your garbage opinion seriously or wants to be nauseated by the stench of your disgusting (lack of) morals on this blog. but allow me to take you to task below.

1. evan’s girlfriends are not “always” portrayed as as the bad guy. you do not hear people speaking negatively about alexia, alexandria or haley except for the group of people who are jealous and will hate any woman their fav is dating. which is a different conversation and quite frankly should not even be entertained.

2. we are not just hearing one side of the story. if there are 100 negative stories, anecdotes, rumors, blind items AND emma was arrested for DV, it’s not that there is only one side of the story being portrayed - she is simply the only one raising hell and being an abusive monster to evan and everyone else in her vicinity. you are a sick and disturbed individual to try and flip the script and use ACTING roles to try and bolster your slanderous allegations. why don’t you just say you don’t believe men can be victims of domestic abuse and keep it moving, you demon?

3. what about halsey? she is known to be a tumultuous person with her own mental health struggles. she does not have a good track record of her own like you are seemingly insinuating. and i kindly request that you educate yourself before you speak, or minimally, before you peak your painted clown face into my ask box and exhaust me with your pathetic drivel. evan never liked, retweeted or condoned anything racist. that accidental retweet included. halsey is a troubled and bitter woman who was in love with evan before she ever met him, and was butthurt she was merely a rebound for him and they were not on the same page.

4. no, halsey would not “know him best” and her liking that tweet means jack. if she had her way i’m sure she’d have like 3 kids with evan by now and wouldn’t be liking tweets. she doesn’t actually care, she also loves fucking matty healy lmao as i already said she was butthurt. shocking and groundbreaking: an angry ex likes a defamatory tweet about said ex.

5. frances absolutely didn’t deserve a hate blog, much less the multiple different blogs some losers ran on this app.. but people believing she was using him for clout and money have legitimate reason to argue this because she has professed to being a sugar baby, and intentionally cultivated an unlikeable and problematic online persona. people just took the bait.

and finally.. i’d love for you to name the “problematic behaviors” you take issue with and cite a source other than the voices in your head or wattpad fan fictions you’ve read…. but not here because you’re blocked and you can go to hell ❤️ you may not be an asslicker, but you are a bad person for victim-blaming someone who experienced domestic violence at the hands of someone you’re doing gymnastics to defend. congratulations! now go back to twitter.

[astererer]

Aster has a slightly updated design and some extra details available :))

info below the cut bc lmao it’s a bit lengthy xx

Voiceclaim: Harriet Wheeler (lead singer of The Sundays)

Born into a family of flying taxi cabbies, like there’s at least one person every generation who grows up to be one — family has a tradition of each child receiving a Rookidee as their first pokemon when they’re around 5 years old, part so if they too join the family line of work they have a partner they trust and know inside and out, but mostly to ensure the kids in the family are used to being around pokemon and learn to treat them with respect from a young age. The gifted Rookidee is also the offspring of the parent’s Corviknight — Aster’s family values their ties and connections to one another and having your first pokemon being connected to your parent’s first pokemon? It’s a nice sentiment.

Used to be almost painfully shy as a child — while very talkative around family and more than comfortable hanging out with pokemon, whether her own or wild ones, Aster struggled with interacting with other people to the point that she dropped out of her initial gym challenge attempt at age 12, after winning a single gym badge. Not wanting to give up entirely, she spent a few years working on her confidence and tried again when she was 14, still riddled with anxieties but more mentally prepared and armed with coping strategies for if she started to feel overwhelmed. Was known for avoiding and running away from post match interviews.

Mostly took part in the gym challenge because she wanted the cash prize that comes with each victory, but as things progressed she found she really enjoyed battling for the sake of it. Originally had absolutely zero intention of reaching the finals and facing Leon, just to get all 8 gym badges then drop out and use the money gained to go travelling. Once she got her 8th badge, however, Aster did want to see just how far she could go within the league and somehow ended up facing Leon. And won. It was close, like virtually a draw, but a victory is a victory so she got crowned champion of Galar.

(Aster at 14 years old)

Then within 2 weeks she quit. Up and left. Packed her bags and ran away to travel (which was her original plan anyway). No notice to the league itself, Aster simply went home, informed her family that she couldn’t handle being in a role she didn’t really want in the first place, and disappeared off to Kalos. Turns out there’s a lot of pressure that comes with being a reigning champion, both in a business sense and due to everyone in the region knowing who you are, making it impossible to go anywhere without being hounded by strangers, and aster was like “I cannot fucking deal with this. Bye.”

Her disappearance resulted in a bit of a media frenzy for a few weeks, and when it became clear that Aster was not returning, Leon got his position as champion reinstated. Chairman Rose worked very hard to sweep everything under the rug to minimise any scandals/tabloid gossip, and decided it would be better to release a statement that she had voluntarily relinquished the title due to poor health, rather than the truth that she had simply ran away. Aster’s family weren’t too pleased with this, while grateful Rose ensured they would no longer be hounded by journalists, they now had to deal with total strangers approaching them to ask about their sick child who was not sick at all, and was in fact busy running around a foreign country getting up to god knows what. This died down on its own after a couple of months, and Aster was for the most part, none the wiser.

Spent the next few years exploring different regions before deciding to settle in Unova, at first in Nacrene city, where she crashed on a friend’s couch for a while in exchange for doing some odd jobs for her, but moved to Nimbasa after a year — the art scene in Nacrene is cool and all, but Nimbasa has so many things to do for fun and is also just a more central location. Despite having a more permanent home, though, she’s still prone to go on adventures — just doesn’t region hop as often anymore and limits her trips to a month or two at most. Still has not returned to Galar since her abdication, though she keeps in regular contact with her family. Her older brother even goes out of his way to visit her a couple times a year.

Her personality has changed significantly over the 10 years since she left Galar. Her constant travelling forced her to interact with total strangers far more frequently than if she stayed in Galar, and caused her to open up gradually and become more comfortable with socialising. She still prefers the company of pokemon to people, but is far more relaxed and deals better with crowded environments. Developed a bit of an “I’ll try anything once” kind of attitude. Her battling style has also loosened up considerably, which garnered a considerable amount of attention for her the first time she entered the PWT in Driftveil, where she spent each match running, jumping and throwing herself around her side of the pitch between commands, and almost got hit by a few wayward attacks in the process.

Technically unemployed. Currently makes most of her income by visiting Black City every few days to battle other trainers in the tower, and helps out an artist friend back in Nacrene City as her assistant and occasional courier, should larger works need to be transported outside the city for an exhibition being held further afield. Aster prefers this lifestyle to a traditional 9-5, as it allows her to more or less do whatever she likes, whenever she likes. Also she’s never had a “normal” job before and things having one sounds incredibly boring, and what’s the point in doing anything that could be boring.

Miscellaneous info :))

Natural brunette — started dying her hair after quitting the league in the hopes it would make it harder for people to recognise her. Overtime she just started to enjoy trying different styles and colour combos out.

Loves movies. Like outside of pokemon, Films are one of her favourite things in the world. Since moving to Nimbasa City, Aster has been building up a collection of blu rays and dvds, to the point that she has entire shelves full of them, floor to ceiling. Any genre is good in her eyes, she’ll watch anything whether it’s a corny romcom or a surrealist horror. Has also started investing in better sound systems and a projector, and is currently in the process of turning her apartment’s living room into a home cinema sort of deal.

While she adores cat-like pokemon of all varieties, she just cannot get behind Alolan and Kantonian Meowths and Persians. She jokes that they’re supporters of classism while her Perrserker bestie is the people’s cat. There really isn’t a deep reason for her dislike other than Persians aren’t Perrserkers and neither they nor their pre-evolutions are as fluffy or scruffy as the Galarian equivalents. It’s a personal bias.

Her team only has 3 permanent members; Mango, Muffin and Goji. The other 3 pokemon are switched out with a different combination every other week, so that Aster can try out different battling strategies and also just so she can spend time with all her creatures. They all have nicknames.

Dislikes social media but that doesn’t mean she never uses it — usually it’s just to announce that she’ll be participating in an upcoming tournament then radio silence for months. She likes to keep her private life private when it comes to the online world.

Maternal grandpa was a painter, and he passed an interest in the arts down to her mother, who passed it on to her. While neither Aster nor her mother are artists in their own rights, a lot of Aster’s childhood memories involve being taken to galleries and exhibitions. Both have decent knowledge of art history and some very Strong Opinions about specific artists and movements. Their weekly phone calls are almost always lengthy discussions about a specific painting, a film one of them saw recently, music, or what kind of clothes are currently making a comeback in the trend cycle.

Assisting her friend in Nacrene City has encouraged Aster to try creating her own works, though she’s yet to take the actual plunge. She doesn’t have the space in her Nimbasa apartment for a studio, nor has she purchased any of the materials she thinks she needs. One day she’ll take some ideas from her sketchbook to canvas. One day.

[softtransbf]

2, 5, & 7 ~ rebeccaselfships

maybe i shouldn't have reblogged two numbered ask games so close together lol

i'll assume it's the fob one and answer about trent ^_^

2 has already been answered

5: "Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet" - How did others react to you and your f/o being together? Was there any that were notable reactions from certain people, either because they were positive or negative or something else entirely?

It definitely shocked the team (except Colin, bc he wingmanned us together in the first place), partially because none of them knew Trent is gay.

But let's be honest, a 20 year age gap is gonna raise some eyebrows no matter what.

Keeley was great, reminding everyone of the popularity of DILFs (backed up by Jamie bringing up MILFs), and while Sam didn't admit to having dated Rebecca, he also chimed in saying that we're both adults and it's a totally normal thing.

Ted, bless his heart, was soooo out of his depth lmao but once he wrapped his head around a gay couple with such a big age gap, he sincerely congratulated us both.

When we told Trent's daughter, once I reassured her that I was in no way going to replace her mom and she absolutely wouldn't need to call me dad, she was happy for us, too. Trent's ex-wife had some Words, but again, reassurances that while I like their daughter a lot, a parental role is the farthest thing from my mind helped smooth that over.

7: "(Coffee's for Closers)" - Out of the two of you, who’s more prepared for the unexpected? Was there ever a time this was most apparent?

Definitely him, as evidenced right off the bat. Neither of us expected to make a connection the night we met, and while I panicked, ran, and tried to forget about him, he took it in stride, thought about what it is he really wanted, and then made plans accordingly.

My gut instinct is always to panic and run, and years of being a journalist have made him very good at both making plans and adjusting them on the fly as needed.

[jayteacups]

In the Actor AU, “Memories of the Future” took forever to film because Eren and Zeke kept making the baby who played Baby Eren laugh by pulling silly faces instead of staring ominously like in the script.

Awww yess I love this HC! Actor AU is my absolute favourite, I'm gonna use this as an excuse to talk about a few of my actor au headcanons

Random AOT actor AU hcs!

It took a record number of takes to shoot that scene with Eren and Zeke ominously staring at baby Eren, because they kept breaking out into smiles at the baby who kept smiling and waving at them all cute and stuff

Hange writes fanfiction of the characters in their downtime (they're a very avid multishipper. they definitely enjoy erurihan the most tho lmao). Connie is an avid fanfic reader and has no idea that Hange's written some of his favourites.

Zeke has a secret stan account for canon Levi. (and actor Levi too tbh) Levi found out, laughed for a grand total of ten seconds, then blocked every single one of Zeke's accounts. Zeke retaliated by making even more. Levi's still on the hunt to find them and block

Talking of, Zeke and Levi are hilarious though when they're interviewed together, so for the press stuff for S4 they were together for pretty much every interview (to Hange's chagrin, because before Zeke became a prominent character it was always them, Levi and Erwin being interviewed as a trio). there are youtube compilations dedicated to Levi and Zeke's banterous moments, titled something like 'levi ackerman and zeke jaeger having a lovers spat for seven minutes straight' 💀

Armin loves reading fan theories! spends hours on stan twitter stalking through tweets about what people think is in the basement and laughs at how horrifically wrong they are

Jean and Marco worked on a project together before being casted for AOT! (yes they were child stars too lol)

Annie is really shy off screen

Eren can't keep his mouth shut about spoilers for shit. It just comes out. Hange had to literally clap a hand over his mouth during an interview because he was about to let slip the identities of the Armoured and Colossal Titans during an interview lmao

Every time a character dies every cast member buys that actor flowers. Gabi bought Sasha a humongous bouquet as a gift after shooting Assassin's Bullet because she lowkey felt bad, it was so large that Sasha could hardly carry it by herself.

Levi has a lot of stunt experience so out of the cast members, he does most of his stunts. His stunt double likes to joke he has the easiest job because he barely needs to show up

Erwin went to a convention whilst cosplaying his character once. got told by a bunch of fans that his eyebrows weren't big enough but was an otherwise very convincing cosplayer

Actor Eren hates canon Eren so much especially in S4. Just reads his lines and sighs and goes 'is this dude fucking serious'

Erwin is a talented pianist and performs covers of the show's opening and ending songs, the soundtracks, etc.

Floch was a huge fanboy of the series and ran around his house screaming when he got casted for his role

Before becoming an actor for the show, Floch also ran an AOT facts page on instagram or something, that's how committed he was to the show, and still keeps it going incognito (listen i hate canon floch so to compensate im trying to make actor floch seem nice lmao)

Actor Floch also hates canon floch if we're being honest here

Yelena and Porco were just here for the paycheck they had no idea what this show was before getting casted and lowkey can't wait to finish it lol

Gabi and Falco make tiktoks all around set - both their idea and a new marketing ploy. Pieck is a recurring star in these tiktoks. Mostly it's her napping between takes whilst Gabi and Falco snicker and zoom in on her face with a dumb filter on or something. Sometimes they go up to other actors and ask them a question about the show, their character, or what happens behind the scenes

In a similar vein, Connie and Ymir run a podcast like this where the actors get to expand on those things past a two-minute tiktok! They started this after S2 (connie and ymir brotp!!!) Also out of all of the actors Connie is definitely the most interactive with the fans. interviewers love him too!

On this podcast, sometimes Ymir invites Historia and they read PG Yumihisu fanfic lol. Ymir also loves it when fans give her yumihisu fanfic or fanart to sign at fanmeets! and they're definitely dating offscreen.

Mikasa hates the red scarf with a passion. Levi hates the cravat with a passion. Makes them sweat like crazy especially when they're shooting during the hot summer (and gets in their faces for stunts)

After 'Friends' aired, Kenny, Kuchel, Levi, Mikasa, grandfather Ackerman, Mika's dad's actor and the actors for child Levi and Mikasa all took a big group photo. Mikasa posted it and captioned it #ackerfam

Actor Jean's favourite character is Armin

Actor Eren and Mikasa's favourite character is Hange

Actor Connie's favourite character is between Levi or Jean

Actor Erwin's favourite character is Erwin 😎

Feel free to add more!

[firelxdykatara]

ppl love to forget that katara: 1. has her own taste, 2. developed around aang, he needed her for his development and vice versa, 3. ZUTARA IS SHIP BETWEEN AN OPPRESOR X OPPRESSED!!! Ignoring all of the development they had with their respective partners and the trauma Zuko caused Katara!!

In the infamous words of one Luke Skywalker: amazing. every word of what you just said was wrong.

It’s actually kind of ironic that you bring up Katara’s taste, since, throughout the show, we have examples of the guys she likes, to greater or lesser extents in canon--Jet (explicit romantic feelings on her part, word of god that jet was her first kiss--a kiss that would have been consensual, incidentally, something you should keep in mind for later) and Haru (she denies the crush, but that could just as easily have been because of the abomination he’d been growing on his lip rather than denying those feelings ever existed), both of whom have much more in common (in terms of both emotional and physical maturity, and physical appearance) with Zuko than either of them has with Aang.

Zuko’s book 3 hairstyle is almost exactly reminiscent of Jet’s, even, if not quite as floofy.

(This is probably in part because of Jet’s function as a foil of Zuko within the narrative, particularly given their book 2 encounters, which I think just further solidifies my point that, were it not for extenuating circumstances [like the fact that Zuko was introduced as an enemy and they had significant obstacles to hurdle before they could be friends], Zuko would have been exactly Katara’s type. Had they met under different circumstances, she could have been the girl he went on a date with in Ba Sing Se. Just something to think about.)

So, yes, we’ve established that Katara has her own taste. Her tastes seem to be boys with great hair who are taller than her, the same age or older, and of a similar maturity level.

Aang falls short (heh, short) on all counts. So it isn’t Katara’s taste in boys that led her to be interested in him. Hm!

Next, you claim that Katara ‘developed around Aang’--that she was necessary for his development, and that he was necessary for hers.

Let’s take a moment to examine that, shall we?

I will absolutely grant you that Katara was necessary for Aang’s development--only to a point, of course, but we’ll get to that later--but was he really necessary for Katara‘s growth? I suppose I could grant you this on a generous technicality--he did, after all, provide her with the means to finally leave the South Pole and find a waterbending master to teach her (although she wound up largely self-taught anyway). But that had nothing to do with his relationship to Katara and everything to do with the structure of the plot--Katara and Sokka find Aang (and he never would have gotten out of that iceberg without Katara’s own righteous anger, so even that leads back to her own power), and then they go on a quest to find teachers for the Chosen One and save the world.

The story could not have begun without first finding Aang and then providing means for the other main characters to travel with him (or, in Zuko’s case, chase him), but this has nothing at all to do with Aang’s relationship to Katara. Aang was not a mover in Katara’s developmental arc--if anything, he acted as an obstacle more often than not, his actions ranging from innocent but obnoxious (playing and flirting with girls rather than helping with chores like picking up vital supplies, leaving Katara to do all of the quite literal heavy lifting and keeping her stuck in the role of caretaker that she’d been thrust into following the death of her mother), to deliberate and harmful (hiding the map to Katara and Sokka’s father, a truly selfish action, regardless of his lack of malicious intent, and one for which he never actually apologized), to somewhere in between (”she didn’t really mean that” he says to the man refusing to train Katara because she’s a girl, when yes, she very much did mean that, and Aang was no help in finally getting the old codger to eat his words--Katara had to shove them down his throat her own damn self).

While Katara’s overall arc wasn’t exactly big and dynamic (like Zuko’s redemption arc), or in-your-face (like Sokka getting force-fed Respect Women Juice and his eventual growth into a tactician and leader), it was very much present and woven into her character--and Aang had almost no part in it. He provided her with the means to get to the North Pole, but left Katara alone to fight the patriarchy herself. He messed around while Katara took it on herself to do the chores and keep the Gaang alive, but he did almost nothing to decrease that burden so she could grow out of the caretaker role. (Contrary to popular shipper claims, Aang didn’t actually teach Katara to have fun. She already knew how to have fun. But she couldn’t indulge, because she had a responsibility to her family and her tribe, and later to her brother and Aang and Toph, and Aang goofing off and trying to get her to do the same only added to her burdens rather than subtracting from them.) He provided Katara with the necessary motive to learn to heal herself, but he certainly didn’t seem to learn from the experience of accidentally burning her, preferring instead to claim he was never going to firebend again, despite already knowing, at that point, that he was going to need to master fire along with the other elements to become a fully realized Avatar and defeat the Firelord.

He didn’t help Katara keep them alive during The Desert. (In fact, he ran off, leaving her to desperately try to keep Sokka and Toph from succumbing to the heat while worrying for his safety.) In The Painted Lady, Katara makes the decision to stall the Gaang and do what she can to help the Fire Nation villagers on her own--Aang agrees to help her when he finds out, but he wasn’t actually instrumental in her making that choice. The Puppetmaster was, again, Katara finding a master of her own, and having to deal with the fallout from that. And in The Southern Raiders, Aang was--perhaps unknowingly, if I’m being generous, because he is a child and could not reasonably be expected to fully understand the implications of what he was asking her to do or why it was impossible--actively impeding Katara’s development! She desperately needed closure, something he could not understand and actively belittled and dismissed. The only reason he relented in the end (but not without a condescending ‘I forgive you! Does that give you any ideas???’ parting shot lmao) was because Katara was planning to take Appa anyway, and letting her go (and hoping she’d just magically wind up doing things his way) was easier than trying to fight her on it.

While Aang’s existence was necessary for Katara to start down her own path, she needed neither his guidance nor his approval to follow it--and absolutely nothing would change about Katara’s arc if you removed their romantic relationship entirely.

Possibly because the only changes needed to do so would be to remove the two times Aang kissed Katara without her consent (which, hopefully, no one would actually miss), and the epilogue kiss (which was awkward and unnecessary to begin with, since ending the entire show on a romantic kiss as the final shot kind of missed the point of the story to begin with, but that’s another discussion). None of these kisses (which are the only moments in which Katara’s feelings for Aang are so much as addressed; do note that addressing them, or hinting that they needed to be, is not the same as saying she exhibited any sign of reciprocating them) altered anything about Katara’s behavior, her personal arc, or (and perhaps most critically) her relationship with Aang.

It’s that last point that is really damning, as far as ‘Katara obviously had feelings for Aang, she kissed him in the finale!’ goes. Because she didn’t ‘obviously’ have feelings for him. And the fact that he kissed her before the invasion and then she forgot about it (she literally had no idea what he was talking about during the play’s intermission until he reminded her that he’d kissed her) is pretty clear evidence that she didn’t actually have feelings for him. Not the kind he had for her.

I’ve been a teenage girl. I know what it’s like to be surprise!kissed by your crush. And I absolutely for a full fact know that I had not completely forgotten about that kiss three months later and had, in fact, spent most of my waking hours thinking about it and remembering it and trying to talk to him about it. Now, granted, I was not in the middle of a war, but even if I had been, I doubt I would have needed reminding about the fact that the boy I’ve supposedly been developing feelings for had kissed me and showed clearly that he had those feelings for me too.

At the very least, if Katara was harboring feelings that she was worried about approaching until after the war, her relationship dynamic with Aang should have shifted. But it didn’t. She acted the exact same way with him after the Day of Black Sun as she did before it--that is, as a mother figure and a caretaker, responsible for his wellbeing. (And it’s clear she never took him down off the pedestal she needed him to occupy, either--let it not be said that the unhealthy aspects of their relationship only went one way.)

And book 3 is, incidentally, where Katara went from being vital to Aang’s development to being detrimental to it--or, rather, Aang’s refusal to let go of his attachment to her (despite ostensibly having done as much at the end of book 2) was. Because despite having been told by, perhaps, the greatest authority left in the world on Air Nomad culture (even more than Aang, who had left his temple with a child’s understanding of his culture that was never able to mature because he got stuck in the ice berg while his people were wiped out) that he had to let go of his possessive attachment to this girl who never even expressed the possibility that she might harbor romantic feelings for him to begin with, after Azula killed him and Katara brought him back, he went right back into the mindset of Katara is mine, it’s just a matter of time.

And the narrative validated him for it.

Notice how, during Ember Island Players, Aang says the following (emphasis mine):

“We kissed at the invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together. But we’re not.”

First of all, if you go back and watch the scene, it’s clear it wasn’t a mutual kiss. Aang sprang a surprise kiss on Katara, which left her shocked and unhappy after he flew off. (The decision to have her looking away and frowning was a deliberate one on the part of Bryke, who wanted Katara’s feelings kept ambiguous. Heaven forbid you allow the animators to make it clear that this fourteen-year-old girl who was just kissed without her consent by someone she’d never once demonstrated romantic feelings toward might actually have some. Heaven forbid she have a little agency in her own romantic narrative. But whatever.)

Second, he says he thought they were gonna be together.

He thought.

He never once even asked Katara what she thought--or even how she felt. He just assumes. He assumes that if he kisses her, she’ll kiss him back and they’ll get together. He assumes that she must have feelings for him, even though her body language is closed off and she told him with her words that she did not want to talk or think about this right now, and kisses her regardless of those signals, upsetting her and leading her to storm off.

And the narrative rewards him, because despite the fact that they don’t have a single significant scene together after that second disastrous kiss, Katara just decides off-screen that she Does Love Him Really and walks onto the balcony to make out with him.

The upshot of all this being that, while Katara was indeed instrumental to a lot of Aang’s early growth and development, Aang was not necessary for her own arc, and their romantic relationship (such as it was) actively hampered Aang’s development in book 3, while removing it would change absolutely nothing for Katara (except saving her from some painfully embarrassing memories).

As far as your third point, I’m simply not going to get baited into explaining how reducing Zutara to an ‘oppressor/oppressed’ relationship is not only insulting to interracial couples irl (not to mention any other couple with a potentially unbalanced dynamic of societal power, since there are many more axis of oppression than just racial), but demeaning to Zuko and Katara, their personal arcs as well as their relationship development together.

However, I will point out that Zuko was not responsible for any of Katara’s trauma. She did not find violence and fighting in bending battles to be traumatic--in fact, she reveled in it. She enjoyed fighting against Zuko at multiple points (especially noticeable in their battle at the end of book 1), because she wanted to fight--she always had--and once she had the ability, she was ready to throw down with anyone who gave her the slightest reason. (Including, by the way, her own potential waterbending master.) Aang’s death at the end of book 2 was Azula’s doing, and while I think that contributed to Katara’s extreme reaction to Zuko joining the gaang, it was not something for which she actively blamed him, and it wasn’t something she believed would be repeated--she let him go off alone on a journey to find the original firebending masters with Aang well before she chose to forgive him. So she already trusted Zuko’s intentions and that Aang would be safe with him.

Finally, because this has gotten long enough already, I hope you now understand that Zuko and Katara getting together would not require ignoring any of their development with their canonical romantic partners. We’ve already established that Katara’s arc wouldn’t change in the slightest if all of Aang’s romantic advances were removed, and I haven’t even gotten into how Mai meant nothing in the grand scheme of Zuko’s development because I’m pretty sure that’s just self-evident. I mean, the video compilation put together by Nick showcasing Zuko’s journey throughout the series doesn’t include a single scene with Mai, though it does include several with Katara, and even Jin makes an appearance--because Katara, and even Jin, played key roles in Zuko’s personal journey, while his relationship with Mai happened entirely off-screen and her only real function was to showcase just how unhealthy trying to force himself back into the role of the Crown Prince was for him.

What development, exactly, is there between them to even ignore?

At any rate, I’ve gone on long enough--I hope you enjoy the fact that you activated my wordvomit trap card right when i was about to go to bed, anon, because I just spent two hours writing this instead. In case you’re interested in the TL;DR: at the end of the day, there was no meaningful, mutual development in Kataang’s romantic relationship, and those romantic feelings that did exist were largely one-sided and ultimately detrimental to Aang’s development in the final third of his overall arc. Meanwhile, Mai meant nothing to Zuko’s journey--rather like Aang’s romantic overtures, she could be removed from the show completely and nothing about his story would change--while Zuko and Katara were both vital to each other’s overall storylines, arcs and development. This, coupled with the fact that Zuko never actually traumatized Katara and, in fact, helped her achieve closure from the biggest source of her own trauma, means that Zuko and Katara have better and more believable build up that could potentially lead to a romantic relationship than either of them have with their canon romantic partners.

So no, anon, I didn’t forget anything--I think you may have, though. Perhaps a rewatch is in order? Make sure not to close your eyes for the back half of book 3 this time.

[pillow-anime-talk]

wap challenge.

synopsis: ‘WAP challenge’ versus our lovely boys.

# tags: headcanons; current relationships; aged up; romance; mild comedy and fluff; suggestive?

includes: female reader ft. hitoshi shinsou & you shindou {bnha} + eita semi & tobio kageyama {hq!!} + seijuurou mikoshiba & rin matsuoka {free!}

— HITOSHI

↘ It was absolutely NOT YOUR idea to do this challenge. Mina was the initiator of it all, because she’s addicted to the TikTok app, plus she knows every trend that is currently taking place. Plus, she’s your bestie, so it’s super obvious that you’ll do a lot of (stupid) things with her to keep an eye on her silly ass. 

↘ UMMM, anyway. Also not gonna lie, but you liked to dance, so it was much easier to induce you this time, hehe.

↘ Therefore, a few trainings later, you could easily record the ‘WAP challenge’ and put it on the pink-haired teenager’s popular account. 

↘ Meanwhile, your lovely boyfriend was in the coffee bar with Denki. Unexpectedly, the latter got a notification on his phone. 

↘ (Of course, we all know that Kaminari is the second TikTok biggest fan and his content is something like ‘Top10 things I don’t like about Bakugo’.)

↘ Coming back to the topic, the blonde’s eyes automatically widened when he saw the video inserted into Mina’s account; he wasn’t surprised by the young girl’s idea and its general performance, but you... He totally didn’t expect it! After all, you were the complete opposite of a crazy pinky one and you were literally the voice of reason in your friendship.

↘ “Oh, God... Wow. You have to see this, Shinsou.” He laughed under his breath, then restarted the short video and turned the black phone to the boy who currently drinking colored bubble tea.

↘ Well. Needless to say, some cold tea flew out of his mouth and his both cheeks turned redder than Kirishima’s hair.

↘ Aaaand he got an boner.

— YOU

↘ That mf... Okay. 

↘ Listen to me.

↘ Honestly, you were never interested in having an account on this whole TikTok app, but you saw a tons YouTube videos of people dancing to an English-speaking female rapper’s song and you just found it as a fun and interesting activity (+ you really liked this lit song, so...).

↘That’s why, you pushed back the furniture in your own room, which was in the Ketsubutsu Academy dorm, and put on a music. The first three attempts were just learning the steps, but by the fourth time you were ready for the real dance, so you tied your hair in a high ponytail to make it more comfortable and corrected the top of your clothes.

↘ Absorbed in setting up the camera and playing the song at the right moment, you didn’t even notice when your boyfriend entered your room. Of course he wanted to say hi or just kiss your pretty face, but at the same moment you jumped up and lifted your leg, quickly dropping to your knees.

↘ Shindou’s eyes widened while he resting his arm against your bedroom white wall. He even bit his lip, feeling a pleasant tingling in the stomach and throat.

↘ To say that he was delighted is definitely not enough.

↘ And when you finished the dance with the split, your boyfriend was still silent... However there was a sound of clapping and mouth pecking throughout the room. Slightly frightened, you turned towards him, and your cheeks flushed deeply.

↘ “Well, well, well. I didn’t expect that, but... I’d love to see it again, babe.” He winked at you, and you quickly covered your red face with your hands, still sitting on the floor.

— EITA

↘ All of us know perfectly that Semi is... a very serious man. I mean, have you seen how much he gives while he playing volleyball and helping his lovely teammates? Eita takes many things seriously (both at school and in private life) hence his strong character and his frequent lack of playfulness when you both have a small talk.

↘ However, you still love him very much and you would do anything for this big baby boy to make him happy and make him feel loved and appreciated as your boyfriend, friend and also volleyball player.

↘ Anyway, you didn’t expect that one day he would come over to your house and your mother would let him in, saying that ‘as always, you are at your own bedroom, listening to music’.

↘ Eita also didn’t expect anything special that day; he just came to you to spend Saturday watching interesting anime, some movies, talking and possibly ordering a pizza at his treat, but then he opened the door to your room and literally at the same moment he saw that you swing your leg up, and after a while you get down on your both knees.

↘ Of course he was so shocked because, firstly, he didn’t expect you to dance, and secondly, he didn’t expect you to dance this kind of moves...

↘ The poor boy who always took everything around him seriously couldn’t absorb for the next few seconds the fact that some people do a lot of things for fun... not for awards and medals like him and his beloved team.

↘ Fortunately, he quickly shook his head and laughed a bit under his breath when you barely managed to do a splits.

— TOBIO

↘ HAHAHGAHHAHDDAHAHAADDXXHJXJXDD. SORRY. I MEAN...

↘ The poor baby boy has his head high in the clouds and is only interested in the volleyball or matches, the milk in the carton from the school vending machine and you.

↘ Therefore, he’s not into the social media like Twitter, TikTok, Tumblr or YouTube. Sometimes he just steals your Spotify or Netflix account, but that’s all.

↘ Therefore, when one random day Hinata and Yamaguchi ran up to him with orange-head’s phone in his hand and a few seconds later asked if he had already seen the video with you in the lead role, the black-haired young man raised an eyebrow up, not understanding about what his two teammates talked at that moment.

↘ However, when after a short while he saw a dance video with loud music on the app on Shouyou’s phone, a small wrinkle appeared on his forehead and his mouth tightened into a narrow line.

↘ When the video was over, he thanked his besties, then took his own smartphone out of his pants pocket to search for your name in contacts. He quickly wrote you a short message, and as you read it, a huge blush appeared on your both cheeks.

↘ Tobi! | 14:23 ; Why didn’t you tell me that you dance? You’re pretty good at it. I’d like to see it privately. See you after classes :).

— SEIJUUROU

↘ :D

↘ Let’s start with the fact that Seijuurou is definitely a social animal and knows a lot of phone apps (unlike Haikyuu boys, lmao).

↘ I mean, he knows perfectly well all Twitter or Tumblr jokes and general slang, his favorite app is probably Instagram, and the Urban Dictionary is his second home, his bestie. Not need to mention that you share Netflix together, you two also are on the same Discord channel, and on top of that, he makes a shitpost on his own Facebook profile.

↘ No wonder that one day when he caught you dancing to the Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion song, he immediately joined to you. As if dancing had been in his veins from the day he was born, almost like swimming.

↘ The young man literally took all your viewers off the account and all the beauty of the fame you worked hard while you putting your own content on the channel.

↘ ‘Well... I expected that.’

↘ After a few days, of course, you changed the main theme of your account and instead of creating it by yourself, you shared it with your beloved boyfriend (after all, you couldn’t refuse the fans and the red-head...).

↘ Now you put all kinds of videos and posts together, and the people on TikTok like both of you very much and consider you two to be the sweetest couple in the whole world.

↘ Camila and Shawn are nothing compared to you!

— RIN

↘ I think Rin would know what TikTok is, and also know that you have an account there, but he has never been more interested in it than necessary. 

↘ I mean, it might have existed, but he wouldn’t be interested in getting into the ‘world’ of any influencers and celebrities.

↘ Well. 

↘ The big boy was very busy with swimming and with planning your dates...

↘ So when he listened to music on YouTube one randomly evening and totally accidentally click a complication video with ‘WAP Challenge’ tiktoks, he was surprised that you showed up as one of the dancers.

↘ Your all movements were polished and super strong. You danced really great, better than Rin could ever have imagined. Dressed in black shorts and a gray top, you fit well with the sounds and voice of a female rapper, and as the cherry head knew English, his tongue automatically lick his lower lip.

↘ Hmm, I don’t think I need to add to this headcanon the fact that shortly after watching the short video with you about another 20 times, Rin put on his feet shoes and decided to go to your house.

[oh-ranpo]

like an ever-expanding universe.

pairing: owen joyner x reader an: so, this was sent as a request, but somehow I got out of control with it, so it ended up being longer than I expected it to be lmao I hope you enjoy! request: a pair of exes (let’s say hypothetically in the middle of filming season 5 of JatP and reader came in during season 2 as a new character and the actress is the same age as him/Savannah and they hit it off but eventually broke up) try to get the other jealous so they can get back together. disclaimer: also, I just wanted to say that in a relationship, communication is key, so while jealousy is fun to write and read about sometimes, we stan healthy relationships with open communication : ) word count: 3.5k+

“You should really just talk to him.”

You scowled at Savannah from where you were sitting at your vanity as you had been working on getting ready for the evening.

“Talk to him? After finding out that he was bringing a date? No, Savannah, I need to get even.” Savannah sighed as she shook her head and fixed her gaze on the phone in her hands.

“You two are going to drive me crazy.” You pretended that you didn’t hear her this time as you turned back to fixing your appearance. Either way, it didn’t matter what your friend said because your mind had already been made up. 

When you found out that Owen wasn’t showing up to the cast party alone, you had been hurt. Sure, the two of you had broken up over a month ago, but you hadn’t been ready to move on yet, and the fact that he seemed to be took you by surprise. Your friends tried to tell you that it meant nothing, but you channeled your devastation into indignance and all you wanted to do was make him jealous enough that he could feel what you were feeling now.

Your relationship with Owen hadn’t always been so complicated. In fact, it used to be the best one you had ever experienced. When you landed a recurring role in season two of Julie and the Phantoms, you had immediately hit it off with the blonde drummer. There was a connection that you shared that everyone around you could see, and it surprised no one when you confessed your feelings for one another just a couple of months after meeting. Three years and three seasons of the show later, you had been sure that you had found The One.

And then, things managed to fall apart.

It wasn’t like anything dramatic had happened, and when you looked back on it, you weren’t even sure what had spurred the reaction. Just, one day, Owen said that he needed some time apart, and for some reason, you had agreed. You didn’t really want to break up, but you were still fairly confident that he was your person and you truly believed that he would make his way back to you. You were both young and it could be overwhelming when you felt so much for someone so early in life. You never doubted your feelings for him, however, and you thought the feeling was mutual… until you learned about her.

Charlie swore that he had nothing to do with it when he told you, but you also knew that it was one of his friends. You didn’t blame him, of course, but that also didn’t stop the hole that had formed in your chest over how beautiful she was. Just knowing how good her and Owen were going to look side-by-side made you feel even worse. She was the reason why you had decided to go all out in hopes of grabbing someone’s attention, most of all, Owen’s. It was dumb and childish, but you were sure that it was the only way to make you feel better.

Savannah didn’t bother you about your questionable plan again, however, by the time you were both ready to leave, you had started to lose confidence in yourself. You didn’t say anything to your friend though as you still continued to laugh and chat about the night ahead, carefully avoiding the topic of the boy that you were hoping to win back. And while you were on your way to Tori’s apartment with Savannah, Owen was having nerves of his own while getting ready in the apartment him and Charlie shared.

“Do you think this is going to work?” Owen asked his friend as he ran his fingers through his golden locks anxiously. Charlie gave him a look from where he was sitting on the couch. He had been ready for a while now, but he was still waiting on his friend to show up and for Owen to make up his mind. 

“Do I think that you taking another girl to this party is going to help you get back together with a girl that you never should have broken up with in the first place? No. Absolutely not.”

Owen sighed as he leaned against the arm of the chair he was standing next to. He had thought about cancelling with Jamie for a few days now, but he couldn’t get himself to do it. He knew she was excited to go, and while he also knew that you were aware, and probably hurt by the knowledge, of his date, he had made a promise. A stupid, selfish promise, but a promise all the same. 

He knew Charlie hated the whole thing, as he had told him multiple times, but when there was a knock at their door, they both knew that it was Jamie and there was no turning back now. As Owen started towards to the door to answer it, Charlie called his name and Owen looked back over his shoulder at the brunette on the couch. 

“You better figure out a way to deal with this without hurting anyone any further. I’m serious, Owen.” It wasn’t often that Charlie got that look on his face, and Owen slowly nodded in understanding. He just wasn’t sure how he was going to manage pulling that off.

When he pulled open the door, Owen was greeted with a big smile from the brunette on the other side. He did his best to smile back, but now that all of this was really happening, he was more nervous than ever.

“Owen, you look great!” Jamie cooed as she stepped in through the door and pulled him into a hug. Owen quickly hugged her back and his eyes met Charlie’s over her shoulder. The stern look was still on his face and Owen swallowed roughly.

“Thanks, so do you.” 

It was going to be a rough night, and really, he had no one to blame but himself.

x.x.x

Your eyes couldn’t help but search the room for his face as soon as you stepped into Tori’s apartment, but it quickly became clear that Owen was nowhere to be found.

“He’s on his way. Charlie just texted me,” Madison informed you when she saw the dejected look on your face. You felt silly that you were being so obvious about it, but you did your best to brush it off. 

“Good for him. I think I’m going to go mingle a bit. See you later, Mads.” You didn’t look to see if Madison rolled her eyes like Savannah had earlier in the night before starting to make your rounds. You wanted to make sure you were having a good time when Owen finally did arrive.

There was a good mix of new and familiar faces, so you had plenty of conversation partners to choose from. You wished you could say you were so wrapped up in conversation that you didn’t notice when Owen walked through the door about half an hour later, but you always had a sixth sense when it came to him. You did try to ignore it though, as you moved a little closer to the cute new boy you had started talking to. You couldn’t quite remember his name at the moment, but that was a problem for another time.

You could hear his voice no matter where he was in the room, and while you tried to ignore it, you could tell that it was getting closer and you were having to fight every instinct you had not to look over at him. The only thing that helped you maintain your composure was the fact that every time Owen would speak, it was soon followed by a higher, more feminine voice that you were sure belonged to his date. The last thing you wanted while you were trying to work the room in a positive way was to be struck with the heartbreak you were sure to feel by seeing them together.

“YN, there you are!” Charlie called excitedly, pulling you out of your conversation with William? Or was this one David? Either way, you forced a smile onto your face as you turned to face your friend and cast mate.

“I’ve been standing in the same place all night, Charles, I can’t help it you’re oblivious,” you teased as he pulled you in for a hug, and a part of you wished that he would have remained oblivious for a little bit longer. You could tell that William, David, or whatever the cute boy’s name was, was about to ask you to dance. It would have been the perfect opening for you to try and make Owen jealous. 

When Charlie hugged you, you glanced over his shoulder to see that Owen was standing not too far away, and while he probably should have been paying attention to the conversation that was happening around him, you were surprised to see that his gaze was fixed on you. He had a drink in his hand that was going ignored, and while his date was excitedly chatting with Madison and Jadah, he seemed to be ignoring them as well.

Slowly, you pulled out of Charlie’s arms, and with one glance in the direction you were previously looking, he immediately knew what was going on. You saw his shoulders deflate a bit out of the corner of your eye as he looked at his friend and then back to you.

“You two need to talk,” he stated, and you could hear the exasperation in his voice. It was similar to how Savannah had sounded earlier in the night, and you quickly turned so that your back was now to the blonde, and you gestured towards the boy that you had been talking to before Charlie walked over.

“Well, I was kind of in the middle of a conversation when you came over so… maybe later.” You weren’t being very mature about the situation at all, and while it looked like Charlie wanted to say so, he threw up his hands in surrender and then walked away. You didn’t mean to come off so harsh, but Owen had been the one to mess everything up, so reasonably or unreasonably, you thought that he should be the one to come fix it.

Another hour or so passed, and neither you nor Owen approached one another, instead opting for a delicate dance around each other, pretending that the other wasn’t there except to occasionally share a few glances. You were trying to keep your spirits up, but anyone you would hear his date’s voice, or you would notice that Owen was laughing at something she said, you could feel your heart break more and more. Your hopes in making him jealous were fading, and you were starting to truly realize what a stupid venture it had been in the first place.

Eventually, you broke away from the third cute boy conversation of the night to head to the bathroom. You needed a moment to yourself as you could feel your emotions starting to get the better of you, and you just needed to take a breath somewhere where you wouldn’t hear Owen’s, or his date’s, voice. 

Once you made it to the bathroom, you closed and locked the door before turning to face the mirror as your hands gripped the edge of the countertop tightly. You took one, two, three deep breaths but the pain in your chest wasn’t subsiding. You took a good long look at yourself, and you wondered why you had been silly enough to think that, if Owen had broken up with you, he would suddenly want you back just because you put effort into how you looked for this one party. Your relationship had always been deeper than that, and that translated to your breakup as well. The breakup that you still didn’t understand. The breakup that you had never wanted to happen.

You didn’t know that, while you were having your breakdown in the bathroom, Owen was slowly falling apart in the middle of a room filled with people. He had been trying so hard to keep his cool all evening. However, from the moment he saw you when he stepped through the door, he knew this was all a horrible mistake. He should have cancelled with Jamie. Maybe he should have stayed home and not come to the party at all. He was overwhelmed with feelings and he didn’t know how to express them in a way that anyone else would understand. This heartache was all his fault, and it was something that he could have prevented entirely if he hadn’t been just so stupid. 

“You should go talk to her,” Jamie murmured into his ear just a few seconds after you had disappeared down the hall. The words took him by surprise as he looked over at the girl that had come here as his date. “Whatever is going on between you two… I think it deserves a conversation.” Owen’s brow furrowed as he tried to piece together what was happening. 

“I- I really don’t-“ he started, but Jamie stopped him with a small smile and a shake of her head.

“I think you do. I’ve seen the way you’ve been watching her all night – I mean, I would have to be blind not to – and I’ve also seen the longing looks she’s thrown your way as well. She’s been silently begging for you to say something, and believe me, I get it. I’ve been in a few complicated relationships before but… it doesn’t have to be complicated if you don’t want it to be. Just go talk to her.”

The guilt must have been evident on Owen’s face at her words because Jamie reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder as she gave him a genuine smile. 

“It’s okay, I’m not mad. I could tell from the beginning that your heart was somewhere else. But you’re a good friend, Owen. I promise, there are no hard feelings.”

For a moment, Owen genuinely didn’t know what to say, but Jamie gave him a gentle shove towards the hall where you had just disappeared, urging him to do as she said. This time, he didn’t need her to say anything more. The bathroom door was the only one that was shut when Owen investigated the hall to try and find you, so he took a deep breath as he walked over to it before lifting his hand to knock. 

Even though it was soft, you jumped at the sound and you quickly wiped at your eyes where tears had started to form, hoping to brush them away.

“I’ll be right out!” you called to the person on the other side, and you took one last deep breath before pulling the door open. You froze in the doorway when you came face-to-face with Owen, but it was clear from the look on his face that he wasn’t at all surprised to see you. “Oh, Owen.”

He looked nervous as his blue eyes studied you, and you could feel your heart pound hard in your chest at how close you were to one another. This was the first time you had actually said a word to him in a while, and even though he still hadn’t said a word back, you were sure now that he had sought you out on purpose.

“Can we talk?” he asked, confirming your previous thoughts. You nodded slowly, and he stepped to the side so that you could move into the hallway and then follow him farther down until you came to the doorway of the guest bedroom. He motioned for you to step inside, so that you could have some privacy you assumed, and you did just that as he closed the door behind you.

“Where’s your date?” you asked, your voice hard as the question left your lips. You had no idea what Owen’s intentions had been getting you alone, but the devastation from the entire situation was still sitting heavy in your chest, and it was hard to ignore.

“She’s, uh, she’s not really my date,” he replied, clearing his throat as he spoke. You could still hear the nervousness in his tone, and when you turned to face him again, he was rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, at least not anymore.”

Even more confusion washed over you as you stared at him, and he took a daring step closer to you.

“And why not? Did you decide you don’t have feelings for her too?” The words that were flowing from your lips now were completely fueled by the hurt that you had been harvesting over the past month, and while Owen flinched a bit at your tone, he didn’t get angry.

“That’s not- YN, that’s not why I ended things, and I hope you know that,” he murmured, his hand falling to his side as you crossed your arms over your chest. 

“I don’t know that. Honestly, Owen, I don’t even know what to believe at this point. I used to be… I used to be so sure that you were the one person I would always understand, and yet now, I feel like I barely even know who you are.” The tears had started to form behind your eyes again, and your voice got caught in your throat as you started to get choked up. Owen’s face fell at your words and you could tell they were affecting him too. Good, you thought. He needs to know.

After taking a deep breath, Owen began speaking again.

“When I told you that I needed space, it wasn’t… it was never because my feelings for you changed. At least, they didn’t change in the way you thought they did. They didn’t go away, and they didn’t get smaller… they got bigger. My feelings for you grew every single day for three years, and I thought that eventually I would reach the peak of them, but no. The things I felt, and still feel, for you were expanding like an ever-growing universe and it scared me. It scared the hell out of me because I’m only 20 years old, YN. This… this is adult, real-life stuff and I didn’t think that I was ready for that yet.”

A range of emotions washed over you as you took in his words, and you barely noticed how he moved closer to you as he spoke. It wasn’t until you could practically feel his breath fan across your face and his hand brushed against yours that you realized he was right in front of you. If you were to reach out, even an inch, you could feel him. All it would have taken was one small motion to confirm to yourself that this was all real. There was a short moment of silence that fell between you, and when he realized that you weren’t going to speak up, he continued.

“But the truth is, nothing has felt right since the day we broke up. I didn’t think I was ready for us, but really, I’ll never be ready for a world where there is no us. Seeing you here tonight and thinking that you were dressed up for someone else, and just knowing that you thought I was trying to replace you with someone else, I just…” He hesitated for a moment as he tried to think of the proper words to conclude with. “You don’t have to forgive me, because I would understand if you didn’t. But I need you to know that I love you, I have always loved you, and I will continue to love you whether we’re together or not.”

A tear slipped down your cheek as soon as he finished, and his lips turned up in a sad smile as his hand lifted quickly to wipe it away. It was an action that he couldn’t help himself from performing, and as soon as his fingers made contact with your skin, you leaned into his touch without hesitation. Even after the tear was gone, Owen’s thumb still brushed against your cheek as he seemed to be taking you in.

“I’m so sorry for putting you through this,” he added, his voice barely above a whisper. “I think I’ll always be sorry.”

You couldn’t take it anymore as you felt the full wave of relief and pure love fill you from his confession, and you leaned up onto your tiptoes so that you could close the distance between you as your lips crashed against his. Kissing Owen felt like coming home, and his reaction was immediate as he cupped your cheek with his hand and his other hand came around to rest against your lower back, pulling you closer. You probably should have apologized for how you had been acting as well, but you knew that you could do it later. Right now, you needed this, and it was clear that Owen did too.

“I love you too, Owen,” you mumbled against his lips when you pulled away a few seconds later. “Always have, always will.” Then, you were kissing him again, and all the sorrow from the evening, and the last month, was slowly lifted from your shoulders and you felt like you could breathe again.

tags: @crybabyddl​ @chrlsgillespie​ @calamitykaty​ @alexpjoyner​

[iron--spider]

I woke up at 3am yesterday to watch The Devil All the Time and I’ve been thinking about it since. I’m gonna put my thoughts and feelings and a review of sorts behind the cut, because I am gonna talk about it freely, so there will be spoilers! So don’t click if you don’t wanna see. I’ll also be discussing the content of the film and I know that might bother people, so that stuff is in here, too! And it’ll be really long because you know I can’t shut up.

So, I loved it. I loved it loved it loved it. I read the book a long time ago when I first found out Tom was gonna be in it, and the only problem I had with the book was that the POVs would change in the middle of a paragraph lmao, but other than that I thought it was pretty perfect. I knew the movie was gonna be pretty brutal, because the book is brutal, so I was prepared.

-BUT I think the critics HIGHLY HIGHLY exaggerated how bad the content was. Like, seriously, they acted as if this was gonna be a Saw movie. I was preparing for blatant, horrific gore, but it didn’t live up to their dramatics at all. There’s blood and nasty situations, but every single episode of Game of Thrones is worse than this movie, as are most episodes of any crime drama on a paid network. I actually thought they were super, super tactful of all their horrific shit. The dog death was off screen and the shot of the body (described by the critics as literally traumatic) was so quick (enough to shut your eyes) and in the dark. I also argue that particular moment is extremely important for Arvin’s journey, because it’s the moment he truly turns on his father and turns on religion entirely, and he carries it with him his whole life (it’s what he flashes back to when he says “I know what my daddy did” because it’s the marker of all Willard’s mistakes) and it winds up being one of the last things he does before he leaves everything behind. Burying Jack’s bones. So, like, I despise dog death or any animal death in my entertainment, but it’s important here and handled well. And all the worst death scenes are either extremely fast (Helen’s and Gary Matthew’s) or shown in negative (all the photos). I think Bodecker’s headshot with Bobo is probably the worst and is also pretty quick. I don’t know if this means I’m a jaded bitch, but God the way they were all whining and crying, I thought it’d be a million times worse. It could have been, with the book’s descriptions, so it was actually pretty tame. Lenora’s death affected me the most and they cut away from that, too. I guess it’ll still bother some people, but there are many, many mainstream things that are far more violent and gory than this was.

-I thought it was a beautiful movie. I never mind films that are slightly slower but I love ones that use their time to lay things out and really show us what’s going on, build the ambiance and the relationships. I loved the narration (which I was worried about), and it really made me feel like we were visiting a moment in time that was important. Like something that was written and should be learned about. Rumors in a town you’re passing through. The ghosts of past trauma and transgressions looming over everyone that’s left.

-I liked the changes they made with Roy and Theodore because I thought that storyline kinda meandered in the book and I’m glad that Roy was actually gone the whole time and not just neglecting to come back to Lenora.

-The only real complaints I can make, I’ll get out of the way here: I wanted a little bit more time with Carl and Sandy. Carl was really creepy, but he could have been much creepier. In the book he was the one looking at the pictures constantly, Not Sandy, and that really showed that he was the one with the sickness, the one pushing them forward and orchestrating it all. I thought they did well with showing how Sandy deteriorated in her efforts with him through the years, but I would have liked to see a bit more of their personal lives together and her fear of him and her genuine feelings about what they’re doing, because the book goes into that a lot more. I also wasn’t a fan of Lee finding the picture early and knowing some about what they were doing, because I liked how it was a surprise to him in the book and yet he still did all he could to cover it up. And lastly, in the book there’s a scene with Arvin after he kills Sandy and Carl where he’s in a motel and he takes like 18 showers because he can’t get the grime of what he’s done off of him, and he looks at the picture and has a nightmare about killing Sandy, and I really would have loved if they’d kept it in. It would have been another ‘acting’ moment for Tom, and it would have been nice for us to see his direct trauma and reaction to everything that’s piling on top of him.

-BUT that’s it. I loved pretty much every single other thing and decision that they made. The cinematography was TOP NOTCH. You could tell they filmed on 35mm film, you could see the grain, and it really, really added to it. Antonio Campos is a very skilled director and I trusted him at the helm of this story. Everything looked so authentic, all the sets and the costumes. The soundtrack and score were AMAZING and enhanced the film. Technically it was just perfect in every regard to me.

-Acting! Acting! God this was like...a massive testament to the casting department and the talent of these people. Everyone was on their A game. Bill Skarsgård has been on my radar since Castle Rock (which I recommend to everybody, both seasons) and he was so natural and great in this role. Haley Bennet was absolutely adorable as Charlotte, I loved her cute face and her sweet relationship with little Arvin. Riley Keough was so great as Sandy with the limited amount of time she had, and Jason Clarke is one of my favorites but he was unrecognizable in this as creepy ass Carl. Harry Melling was a far cry from Dudley Dursley and he did a great job with his screen time, too. Same with Mia Wasikowska, who didn’t have much to do (same as poor Helen in the book) but she was able to garner our sympathy anyway. Seb Stan was slimy and gross but he pulled it off so well. Eliza Scanlen has been one of my favorites since Sharp Objects (another one that’s brutal as hell but I recommend it, she’s so scary) and she was so, so great here. Robert Pattinson was ALRIGHT, everybody talks him up over this but he felt a little hammy to me and a little too over the top, but there’s no denying his talent.

-Now, the reason we’re all here. Tom. My God. As soon as it was over I just didn’t know what the hell to do, I didn’t even know how to....go on, lmfao. We all know he’s talented, that’s why we’re here, that’s why we love him, but his performance in this is just BEYOND all that. Beyond comprehension. The man is only 24 years old and he’s out here outacting people who have been in the industry for longer than he’s been alive. He is SHOCKINGLY good. I knew he’d be perfect for Arvin as soon as I read the book, but he just completely embodied this role in a way that I couldn’t have imagined. He doesn’t show up in the movie until about 45 minutes in (which doesn’t hurt it because of the strength of the leadup, Bill’s performance and the performance of little Arvin’s actor) but God, as soon as he’s there the whole thing comes to life in a way that it hadn’t before. Tom is literally just a shining light, and he draws your eye in every single scene he’s in, and when he’s not there you’re wondering when he’s gonna come back. Arvin, to me, is a very complex character—he has been inherently changed by how his father twisted religion in his childhood, how deeply he betrayed him by his behavior, but he still has a kind heart and a protective streak and the need to be strong despite the pain nearly breaking him apart from moment to moment. Tom is just outrageously good at portraying all Arvin’s little nuances, how he clenches his jaw, how his voice breaks when he’s afraid or trying to convince someone of something or get his point across, how his hands tremble after he’s done something he wishes he didn’t have to do, how his whole body wilts when he realizes he’s emulating his father. And his eyes. Tom can do so, so much with his eyes that it’s unbelievable. He tells you so much with just a simple look, a glance, a wince, a long blink. I’m not exaggerating when I say he’s just an absolute revelation in this, he cements his place in Hollywood with a firm hand and a tender look, and I will not be forgetting what he did here anytime soon. There’s a reason that everyone called him out for being so stunning in this. He is magnificent. He has a gift.

-I wanna say, in particular, how much I love Arvin’s relationship with Lenora. Their lives were both marked by such tragedy and pain and Arvin just took up the torch of protecting her from the moment he said hello as a child. He wants so badly to be tough, and he IS, but there’s just miles and miles of love in this boy’s heart, and it manifests itself for his family—for his uncle, for his grandma, but for Lenora in particular. I loved how he just showed up when she was being harassed and just ran in there without thinking, and it’s purely devastating that he was out taking care of her bullies while a worse predator was cornering her. The scene where she was sick wasn’t in the book but it was a beautiful addition. Tom sometimes wears this very open, unguarded, honest expression, and this is the only scene in which he shows it, and it really expresses the love between them and how much she means to him. Arvin didn’t find Lenora’s body in the book, but it was the right change for them to make. Tom was devastating here, and that pain and that moment truly fuel every second of his journey through the rest of the film. “My Lenora”. The saddest siblings. Both Eliza and Tom did so beautifully with this relationship and I hope they work together again.

-Favorite acting moments for Tom: when he’s in the car in the rain after beating up the bullies, when he’s in the church crowd and realizes Preston is insulting his Grandma (the way his face changes oh my GOD), when he finds Lenora, when the cop comes to tell him Lenora was pregnant (this is just....so damn good), when he was telling his uncle to look after his Grandma, THE ENTIRE CHURCH CONFRONTATION (the way he trembles when he’s trying to get his attention, how he speaks the whole time, how he slowly gathers his strength), when he thinks Sandy has shot him, the moment where he’s over Lee’s body and just....pleading with his eyes for him to listen and realize what he’s done. And the last scene, in the car, all the emphasis on his face....once again, he can do so, so much with a look, with his eyes. Someone called out the beautiful last shot in the film, and of course, it’s Arvin’s sleeping face. And it was so beautiful (and devastating, to think of him enlisting. Tom draws so much sympathy that you just want Arvin to have a normal life so badly. He deserves it, he does, but will he get it?)

-Last thing I’ll say, I really loved how, despite turning his back on religion, that God seems to be protecting Arvin the whole time. He’s terribly afraid confronting the preacher and that could have easily gone badly, especially when he tosses the book, but Arvin was somehow able to get a shot off and get the upper hand. And with Carl and Sandy, he senses something is off immediately once they pull off the road, and he would have absolutely been killed had Carl not switched out Sandy’s bullets for blanks. And in the confrontation with Lee, he once again shoots at the same time as him, shoots without looking, and manages to come out unscathed and on top. A few spoiler reviews pointed out that the last person that picks Arvin up is supposed to be a Jesus-like figure, almost like he’s finally been saved. It hurts that everyone around him that he loved is almost forsaken by God, but he himself is protected. It’s such a complicated commentary on religion throughout the entire piece, but it’s so interesting and engrossing.

So I’d recommend this movie to anyone that loves movies, loves Tom, can deal with a gritty story that takes its time laying out all the chess pieces. It is definitely heavy subject matter but it doesn’t go overboard with the horror as it easily could have. Yes, there are triggers to look for, but the critics hugely over exaggerated how awful it was. I can probably go get time stamps for certain things if people wanna ask me after reading this, but if you can get through a Tarantino film or any HBO drama, you can do this. And Tom’s performance is one for the ages and not one that deserves to be passed over or downplayed. It is beautiful and heart-wrenching—a magnificent turn that displays his monumental ability to reach out and guide you into any world he decides to make his own.

I loved The Devil All the Time.

[seokmingiggles]

on cerulean tides.

Anon requested on 201219: "Would you do an idol!Kim Namjoon one shot where the reader (non-idol) is best friends with the Maknaes and believes there's no way Namjoon would ever like her so she begins to avoid him whenever she hangs out with the Maknaes at the dorms/studio/dance practice to try to get over him and Joon picks up on it and thinks he did something wrong/is sad since he thinks he stands no chance with her until the Maknaes force them to realize they return each other's feelings? Thank you in advance!"

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x female reader

Genre: angst to fluff, idol!au, non-idol!reader, happy ending.

3.04k words

Warnings: heavy feelings of inferiority and insecurity, self-doubt, an incredibly brief mention of alcohol consumption, a dragged out metaphor about the sea.

With the ocean of uncertainty plaguing you, you've been avoiding the boy your heart yearns for, not knowing just how much your distance has been impacting him too. Alternatively, Namjoon is your beacon to guide you through the stormy feelings of self-doubt that you've been struggling with lately.

A/N: Thank you for your request! I probably made this much angstier than you intended, but I promise a fluffy ending awaits you. I hope it's okay! (I promise it’s not some pirate!au with a title like this lmao)

This one is dedicated to anyone who feels doubtful of themself. I wish that one day you will be able to see what an astonishing and beautiful being you are. All of us have insecurities about ourselves—big or small—but letting those criticisms consume you is unhealthy and prevents you from living your life to the fullest. Please reach out to talk to someone you trust if these feelings become overwhelming. Things will get better. Please take care of yourself!

•• You and Jimin laughed as you ran down the hallway, each of you with a bag of food in your arms. You could hear Taehyung and Jungkook scampering behind you, the former being noisy as he chased after you, Jungkook only had slightly more grace as he moved.

Being close with the maknae line of BTS had its perks. You could visit them in the studio if they called for you, you could have movie nights at their dorm on their off days, and above all, you could goof around to lift your spirits. You had boundaries; you knew when to leave them be during the busier periods of their schedules and how you couldn't post anything about them online. You didn't mind, though. Your friendship was more than enough.

You were a high school classmate of Jungkook's a few years back, although the two of you never spoke much during those first couple of years. It was only after his group's debut where the boy found himself in need of a tutor, and the school recommended a few to him. Yours was the only name on the list that Jungkook recognized, so it was an easy decision for him to make. Once you and your classmate graduated high school, Jungkook was no longer in need of a tutor, but he wanted to maintain your friendship as he didn't have many others he was close to in your graduating class. Slowly but surely, you also became friends with Taehyung and Jimin when visiting Jungkook over the years. Now, the four of you were practically inseparable. While the boys wouldn't tell you to your face, they all admired you because you never once treated them differently despite their status as idols, especially as their public popularity increased over time.

Jimin reached the vacant studio room before you, holding the door open to let you inside before shouting back at his friends, "You two better hurry up or else (Y/N)-ah and I will eat all the food!"

"Oh, I believe it!" Taehyung cupped his mouth as he yelled back, being pulled by the younger boy at his wrist.

Soon enough, Jungkook and Taehyung made it to the room before Jimin could lock them out. This whole ordeal began when Taehyung needed to use the bathroom after you all had entered the BigHit building. Jungkook went with him, leaving you and Jimin with the lunch he'd ordered.

"All that running from you guys worked up my appetite," you declared as you removed the assortment of containers from one of the bags.

"Well, all that chasing worked up mine," Taehyung countered, teasingly sneering at you and Jimin, the latter already breaking apart his disposable chopsticks.

The four of you began to devour your meal. The three boys were in the middle of a busy working day and invited you to join them for their lunch break. It wasn't an uncommon request; you'd see the trio at least once a week, sometimes more if their schedules cooperated.

Some playful banter with full mouths and filling tummies later, you were sitting back in your chair as you watched Jungkook finish the last of the japchae when someone knocked on the studio door.

After Jungkook managed a "Come in," with his cheeks full of noodles, it was Namjoon's head that poked through the doorway.

"I just want to remind you three that you'll be needed for our meeting in fifteen minutes," the group leader said, eyeing the now-emptied remnants of the lunch you enjoyed. "Hi, (Y/N)."

"Hi, Namjoon." You matched his monotonous tone, maintaining difficult eye contact as he shut the door behind him.

"Okay, whatever is going on between you two needs to stop," Jimin sighed out, visibly frustrated. "You used to get along so well with hyung, and now it's so awkward seeing you interact."

Taehyung sat up straighter, "I agree. You two have so much in common. It's sad to see you so distant now."

Jimin and Taehyung were right. You and Namjoon had to do a lot of scheduling together back when you were Jungkook's tutor, so he was the first one you'd gotten to know in the band, other than your former classmate. The two of you shared a similar mindset: you were both compassionate, responsible, and—arguably above all else—incredibly bad at sharing your feelings.

You wished you could determine the exact moment you began to develop feelings for Namjoon. Maybe it was something about his warm smile; maybe it was his cheery laugh. Or perhaps the way he so intently listened to what the others had to say and would consider ideas other than his own. You not once ever doubted his ability as a leader. You've known the boys since their debut, and even back then, you found Namjoon fit for his role; he's only become better at his job in the passing years.

Yet, something about him made you doubt your ability to be his equal. Part of you knew it was silly to begin avoiding Namjoon in the first place, but the other part of you couldn't bear to suffocate with those annoying butterflies swarming every time your gaze met his. Even from across a room, Namjoon had a powerful effect on you. Part of you wanted his impact on you to stop; part of you missed his closeness.

"Jungkook, you're being awfully quiet," Jimin exchanged a look with Taehyung, "Do you know something that we don't?"

Your head snapped up in Jungkook's direction, silently begging for the boy to deny their assumption.

The youngest hummed and grabbed a water bottle, twisting the cap off and taking a sip. He swished the water around in his mouth.

"Don't make me squish your cheeks to spit out that water, Jeon."

Jungkook swallowed. He glanced at you for confirmation, although instead, took in your tired appearance. He brought it upon himself to make your exhaustion stop.

"(Y/N)-ie likes Namjoon."

You sighed at hearing those words aloud. You couldn't even be mad at your friend; the only way he found out about your feelings was over some drinks one night where you were rambling about how pretty you thought Namjoon looked earlier that day. In hindsight, maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell your crush's bandmate that you liked him.

Jimin shifted in his seat, "Okay, and...? Don't tell me you thought we didn't already know, (Y/N)-ie."

"Yeah, it was obvious when you'd become flustered around hyung!" Taehyung added, "But after you began avoiding him I figured something had changed."

You fiddled with the cap of your water bottle. "Does he know?"

"Namjoon? No, there's no way. He's about as clueless as you are when it comes to crushes." Jimin pondered then continued, "Maybe we could talk to him about it-"

"Absolutely not."

"But why not (Y/N)? It's painful for us to watch the two of you interact lately; it must be worse for you guys."

"I don't want him to know."

"That's not a good reason-"

"It's good enough for me. Now please, can we just forget about it? Don't you guys have a meeting to get to?" You felt bad for shutting down their request. After all, they were only trying to help you.

The boys began to stand, collecting the bags and containers scattered on the floor. They were visibly defeated, but they respected your plead.

Jimin stood by you before turning to the door, "Okay, if that's what you wish, we won't tell him. I do think you should, though, (Y/N). Maybe the results will be in your favour."

•

You felt numb as you were on the bus heading back to your apartment. You tried to escape from your thoughts about the boy you were so fond of, yet your mind defeatedly wandered its way back to him no matter how hard you tried. It pained you to see Namjoon's behaviour shift with yours as you began to avoid him throughout the past month. You didn't realize how severe it had become until your friends pointed it out to you. You thought the distance you created would help alleviate the pounding sensation in your chest and clammy palms associated with Namjoon's presence. You never thought that one day you'd prefer your racing heart to the emptiness you feel now.

He's too good for me, you kept convincing yourself until it was all that you believed.

He couldn't love someone like me.

You have struggled with self-compassion throughout your life thus far. Feelings of gratitude coming in inconsistent waves like the unpredictable ocean tides. You were stormier lately—lost in the sea of doubt and floundering to find stability on shore again.

Namjoon used to be your lifeboat. He taught you that appreciating oneself is necessary to become genuinely happy. He even wrote lyrics about the phenomenon. He made it sound so simple, so achievable. Yet, the theory is typically easier than the practice. Wind and rain continued to pelt down at you, thrashing the waves beneath your surface and making it difficult to breathe.

You wanted to change your mentality; you wanted to be more confident. But constantly comparing yourself to others is equivalent to drowning in the murky ocean, the depths sucking you further and further below until not a trace of sunlight remains.

You made it back to your apartment safely in one piece. You were mentally exhausted and drained at all of your overthinking. You felt the need to cry out of frustration.

"Remember to breathe when you're feeling like this. Come on, just slow, deep breaths."

Namjoon's voice resounded in your head from a few months back when you overheard him calming Taehyung down in a neighbouring room.

You missed hearing his voice.

It was an unmistakable desire. You missed the way he'd look at you with utmost attention and care when you'd speak with him. You missed the way he'd give his thoughtful advice. You missed his smile, his laughter; you missed him. You longed to be back in Namjoon's presence. He always knew what to do or say to help calm the storm. He was a lighthouse beckoning you back safely to shore.

You were getting tired of avoiding him.

But you were also getting tired.

Padding your way to your bed, you slipped into comfy loungewear and got beneath your covers. You momentarily stared up at the ceiling before closing your eyes.

"Come on, just slow, deep breaths."

•

Your ringing phone was what awoke you. It could have been minutes or hours later; you weren't sure. You reluctantly pushed yourself out of your blanketed fortress and made your way to the kitchen counter where you left the device. It was still light outside, but you could see the sun beginning to approach the horizon line.

"Hello?" You said, cursing in your head for the way your groggy voice sounded.

"Hi, (Y/N). It's been a while. Could we talk?"

You froze, being doused by the icy sea.

"Um..." you hesitated. You were caught off guard in a place that was supposed to be your retreat, by a person who was supposed to be your oasis.

"Deep breaths."

"Yeah, I-I guess we could talk."

"Great. Would it be okay if I came to you? I'm almost done here in the studio, maybe another thirty minutes before I can head out."

You were nodding your head before you verbalized your agreement.

"Okay. I'll see you soon, (Y/N)."

"See you, Namjoon."

You hung up first and set your phone back onto the kitchen counter, your elbows following shortly after so you could place your face in your hands.

You knew this was coming; Namjoon was a responsible young adult. There was no way he could have missed your change in behaviour around him as much as you wished for otherwise.

•

Thirty minutes went by faster than you wished. The sharp knock on your door startled you as you were washing some dishes in the kitchen. Cleaning when stressed wasn't an unusual habit of yours.

You hesitated, grabbing a tea towel to dry your hands before treading carefully to the door.

"Deep breaths."

You removed the chain and carefully opened the door. You knew Namjoon was waiting for you on the other side, yet your breath still hitched as your eyes wandered upwards to meet his.

"Come in," you forced from your lips and stepped to the side to let your guest past.

Namjoon thanked you as he slipped his shoes off and made his way to your sofa, declining your offer of a drink.

You joined him shortly after, keeping him more than an arms-length away.

"What's wrong, (Y/N)?"

"Deep breaths."

"Did Jimin mention anything to you?" You could tell your voice sounded weak, but you had other pressing concerns.

"Nothing elaborate. All I was told by him and Taehyung was that I should try talking to you. They didn't say why, but I think we both know."

You searched his face for any signs of dishonesty but found none. "Nothing's wrong-"

"Please," he pushed, "I'd like to think I know you well enough over the years. Something is wrong. I should have come here sooner. You know you can trust me." He even bared a small smile after his words.

It only made your heart plummet further into the depths: a watery grave with your name written on it.

"You're just..." you sighed out, already feeling tears prickling at your eyes. "You're really... just... good. I hope you know how good of a person you are, Namjoon. I don't know how else to explain it. You're a good person. No, that's an understatement. You're... it sometimes doesn't feel like you're real, you know? You're just so giving and considerate and so aware of others' wellbeing." You failed to hold back your emotions; a tear slid down your cheek. "You're good."

And proving your point, Namjoon slid closer to you on the couch so he could take your hand in his.

"Sometimes I feel so insignificant," you continued, "like I'm nobody special or that I'm not doing anything important or worthwhile; that I'm not enough. It's like I'm stuck on the bottom of the ocean. I'm not drowning, but I'm able to see the world passing by above me."

Namjoon said nothing for a moment and just absorbed your thoughts as he mindlessly brushed his thumb across the back of your hand. "There are times in everyone's' life where we all feel that way. You can only tread water for so long before you exhaust yourself and begin to sink. I've felt that way, too—stuck, insignificant. If I'm being blunt, part of my desire to change my mindset was because of you, (Y/N). When I first met you as Jungkook's tutor, you seemed so knowledgable, responsible; you had a good head on your shoulders. You were good. Part of you reminded me of myself, yet part of me also felt intimidated by you." Namjoon stopped momentarily to smile at your astonished face as you mouthed 'intimidated?'. "Yes, intimidated. I've admired you since day one. Then slowly, I realized that those feelings became more than just a simple admiration. But I held back saying anything because I didn't feel worthy of you. I let my own self-doubt get in the way."

"I'm the one not worthy of you, 'Joon."

"Please, love, nothing about that is true," the boy's voice became so tender as he brought his free hand to the side of your face. "One day, I'll show you just how incredible you are to me," he swiped his thumb to collect a stray tear, "but right now, I think you're more in need of a tissue and a hug."

A small, breathy laugh fell from your lips as you accepted the tissue Namjoon retrieved for you. After effectively wiping away your salty tears, you gladly situated yourself in his outstretched arms, being held in a tight embrace. The two of you remained like that until your breathing gradually calmed down, then you moved so you were lying against him with your back to his chest. His nose lightly nuzzled the top of your head.

"All of us have a bit of the ocean inside of us," Namjoon continued, delicately grazing his thumb around the curved corner of your eye, "it means you have the power to control the waves to some extent. The sea can be unpredictable, but so is life. It takes practice to learn to control your waves. I know you may not believe in yourself now, but please, (Y/N), believe me when I tell you that you're enough. You're more than enough."

•

Namjoon stayed with you for the rest of the evening to make sure your spirits were lifted even the slightest bit. The distance that grew between you was from a mutual error; you came to understand your similar sides to the story as you continued to talk. The whole ordeal made you realize that you're not alone in your insecurities. Even someone you suspected to be flawless had doubts of their own.

You were situated back in your bed after Namjoon had left minutes ago. He wished you a good night and pleasant dreams, topping off his adieu with a quick peck to your cheek. You relished in the feeling of your butterflies returning, no longer letting them suffocate you, instead, embracing them in their colourful magnificence.

You recalled what Namjoon said earlier to you:

"You know, what you said about the ocean, it can be beautiful too. Yes, it's scary when you're alone and trapped at the bottom beneath the waves in the dark, but the thing about the sea is that it's continuously moving and shifting. Like our lives, tides come in highs and lows and can change from day-to-day, hour-to-hour. It's unfair to assume we can always remain floating on the surface; when that happens, you can't go anywhere yourself. You need to be partially submerged to move and make choices.

Why don't we traverse this sea together? We can help guide each other until we've found our shore again."

Namjoon was your lighthouse; you were the moon guiding his tides.

••

[obxfics]

The Lines We Cross

summary: you are topper’s brother and just happen to be secretly dating JJ when the truth gets out, and things get ugly

pairing: JJ Maybank x male!reader

word count: 5,076 (this one really... it really got away from me lmao)

requested by: @ueomega​

a/n: so this is a really, really long fic and i hope it’s good! i honestly dont know how it got this long lmao but it was requested weeks ago so hopefully this makes up for the wait!

Being a Kook definitely had its perks. Got to go the best schools, nice vacations, could basically buy anything you could ever want with Daddy’s money, and, most importantly, you had options others didn’t when it came to your future. On the flip side, there were also certain expectations that came with all the perks. For instance, you were expected to be well behaved, to do nothing that could reflect badly on the family, and you needed to be smart, or at least smart enough and accomplished enough to get into the best schools Daddy could pay for. And for you, specifically, to be absolutely perfect.You were known on Kildare Island for the longest time as Topper’s twin brother, his built in competition. As the two eldest sons, much was expected of you, but only one could come out on top as the golden child. And for the longest time, everyone thought it was you. Your father was certainly looking to groom you as the future heir to his company. And then you entered eighth grade. Topper found some pictures hidden under your bed and discovered your biggest secret: you liked boys. It wasn’t long after that until your parents found out, and suddenly you weren’t treated like the successful son you were. Your mother took over the job of looking after you, and your father in turn focused on grooming your brother for the role you were supposed to have. According to your mother, this sort of thing getting out could be detrimental for the company if you were allowed to take over. Having a gay son wasn’t bad, but having that gay son become the CEO? Unheard of.

So, you were to be perfect. Who would be upset at the sweet gay kid who shut his mouth? The one who didn’t stir shit up? So you kept as low a profile as you could. You hung around Topper and Rafe, accompanied girls to their debutante balls, and any relationships you had were either with other perfect Kooks or low profile hookups. Everyone learned to turn a blind eye at any parties at the Boneyard if they saw you standing maybe a bit too close to some handsome tourist. Relationships were hard to come by, and you never hooked up with someone from the Cut.

That is, until you did. It was at some party at the Boneyard, a kegger some of the Pogues were throwing, and you arrived with Sarah Cameron instead of your brother. While she had broken up with Topper, you still liked to spend some time with her. Gave you a break from having to act so perfect all the time. She led you towards the booze, her arms wrapped around your waist with your arm slung over her shoulder. None of the other Kooks you ran with where around yet, so you felt more relaxed than you had in months. She had helped you get ready, convincing you to keep your shirt unbuttoned to entice any cute guys at the party, and you had to admit, you were having a pretty good time. That is, until your eyes met those of JJ Maybank over by the keg.

It wasn’t that you hated the blonde, but you didn’t necessarily like him. You heard Topper complain about the boy enough times to know that you should steer clear of him. He was bad news. After all, wasn’t he always getting into fights with your friends? But he was best friend’s with John B, and Sarah was with John B, so you couldn’t really avoid him for much longer. So you allowed her to tug you over to the two boys who were serving the drinks. At least you’d be getting alcohol. JJ mentioned something about you being Topper’s better half, causing you to roll your eyes and down the drink he gave you. You were supposed to be the golden child, the one that caused people to remember Topper as your brother, but your parents had stolen that from you.

You didn’t really remember much more about that night, but you did remember the end. You and JJ had ended up getting into a heated argument towards the edge of the party, and others began leaving. Eventually there was no one around you when the whole thing came to a head; JJ grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you. To say you were shocked was an understatement. Before that, you had heard JJ would sometimes pick up male tourists, but you never even suspected he would ever go for a Kook like you, but there he was, kissing you like he was an addict and you were his next hit. What you two did later that night in the Volkswagen he’d borrowed from John B was supposed to be a one time thing. Until a week later when he appeared at your window and dragged you to a secluded part of the beach to have a repeat. And then a few days later when you showed up at the Yacht Club where he worked and tugged him into a storage closet. Then suddenly you were just talking and going on picnics until the both of you realized you weren’t just hooking up. You were dating. It was immediately agreed that it should be kept a secret; if it got out that you were dating a Pogue, your reputation, and that of your family’s, would take a hit, and JJ was known to hate Kooks. He couldn’t be seen having feelings for you. This worked for the two of for just over a month before you started getting sloppy.

One day you were spending the afternoon with Sarah, laughing as you lounged on her family’s boat. She had somehow convinced her dad to let her take it out with you, and it seemed like you had the entire intercostal to yourselves. You let out a contented sigh and stretched out your limbs like a cat in the sun. You glanced over when Sarah suddenly gasped.

“What is it?” you asked, propping yourself up on your elbows to properly look at her.

“Oh my god, when did you get those?” She reached out to touch your chest. You looked down to see love bites littering your torso. “When did you find someone to hook up with?”

“I, uh, it’s no big deal,” you tried to brush off her questions. “Just some dude I’ve been hooking up with from the next town over.”

“Wait, the same guy? For how long?”

“Sarah, it really isn’t that big of a deal. I’ve gone through most of the dudes here, and I’m bored of seducing tourists, so having a booty call half an hour away is the easiest thing.”

“Sounds pretty tedious, if you ask me.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t exactly have a deep pool of potential lays, do I, Sarah?”She sighed and nodded, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “You’re right. I’m sorry for pressing. I just wish your family didn’t put this pressure on you to be so perfect. You should be happy.”

“They let me be out,” you tried to defend your parents.

“On certain conditions, y/n. You can no longer have the job you deserve, you can’t date anyone who isn’t a Kook, and they won’t even let you really be proud of who you are. You need to stay reserved, a respectable gay man, not gay teenager having fun.”

You shrugged. “It is what it is, Sarah. We can’t all rebel against our families.”

Oh but you wished you could. As you helped Sarah get ready for her date with John B, you wished you could be the type to rebel against your family. You longed to hold hands with JJ in public and kiss him whenever you wanted to, but you knew it wasn’t just about you. What about JJ? You never knew where he stood with possibly going public one day.

“What are you gonna do while I’m gone?” Sarah asked as you handed her a purse.

“I do have a life outside of you,” you laughed. “Maybe I’ll hit up my boy for a booty call.”

“Be safe!” she called over her shoulder with a smile.

“You as well, Miss Cameron! Tell your boy to keep his hands to himself or I’ll kick his ass!”

She threw her head back and cackled. “Because John B will believe that. Besides, we both know I’m the one with the wandering hands.”

You shook your head and checked your phone for any texts from JJ. Bingo. With John B and Sarah going for their date, JJ had the Chateau to himself, and he was inviting you over for some fun. You couldn’t keep the grin from your face as you climbed into your car and made your way to the Cut. You made sure to park a few streets over so none of the Pogues would see your car parked out front of John B’s and walked the rest of the way. By the time you stepped foot on the porch of the Chateau, you were covered in a light sheen of sweat. You spotted your boyfriend messing around in the kitchen and walked up behind him, sliding your arms around his waist.

“Glad you finally decided to show up,” he laughed, turning his head to look at you.

“Mm, I had to finish up with my tourist booty call,” you teased, rubbing your nose against his. “I’ve missed you.”

He turned in your hold and slid his fingers into your hair, smirking when your eyes fluttered shut. You felt his lips on yours, slow and sweet at first. It was nice, but you hadn’t seen him in nearly a week. You didn’t want slow and sweet. He groaned when you tugged him closer to you and deepened the kiss, your tongue slipping into his open mouth. His hands slid under your shirt to caress your chest. You separated just long enough to rip your shirt from your body and throw it over your shoulder, watching with hungry eyes as JJ did the same with his. Then you were attacking his neck, sucking and nipping at his throat before soothing the bites with your tongue. A smirk twitched at your lips when you heard the pants escaping from JJ, his head thrown back as he allowed you to mark up his beautiful skin. The both of you were so caught up in each other, his hands moving towards your belt, that neither of you heard the screen door creak open.

“What the fuck?” That you did hear.

You two sprang apart, lips swollen and chests heaving with the effort it took to catch your breath, and your eyes fell upon Sarah and John B. It was John B who had spoken. He seemed the most surprised out of the two of them. Sarah just looked at you with sad eyes. She understood what you were going through; she, after all, had attempted to keep her relationship with John B a secret too at the beginning. She knew the trouble that would follow if anyone found out.

“That… we, uh, we can explain,” JJ rasped, clearly trying to think of some lie, although he knew it was useless. How the hell was he going to explain why he and some Kook were practically grinding against each other in his best friend’s kitchen? He sighed and reached out to take your hand. “We’re together.”

Panic filled you when you saw the look on John B’s face. He wasn’t happy. He wasn’t going to tell anyone was he? Sarah must have noticed the look on your face.

“You two should talk,” she suggested to the two Pogues. “y/n, why don’t you come with me?”

You quickly pressed a kiss to JJ’s temple before taking Sarah’s hand and following her out of the Chateau. She squeezed your hand as you walked towards where you parked your car.

“So… how long have you and JJ been together?” she asked.

“Um, a little more than a month. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. We just… my parents… you know.”

“Hey, don’t apologize,” she reassured you. “You know I understand better than anyone hiding a relationship with a Pogue.”

“What if everyone finds out?” you whispered.

“How would you feel if they did?”

“I… I hate all this hiding. And… I don’t care what my parents think. I would stay with JJ. I love him.”

“Everything will work out, I promise. Let’s get you home.”

Meanwhile, at the Chateau, a much different discussion was playing out. JJ, sick of keeping everything a secret, had agreed to invite Pope and Kie over to tell them everything, and he sat looking at his best friends after it was all laid out.

“So you… and Topper’s brother?” Kie broke the silence. “And it’s like an actual relationship?”

“Yeah.”

“JJ, you know we support you and love you no matter what,” John B said, “but… you can’t be with him?”

“What? Why?”

“Why?! Are you out of your mind? He’s Topper’s brother! The only one worse than Topper is Rafe!”

“He’s nothing like his brother!”

“JJ, being with him is dangerous,” Pope agreed. “Rafe and Topper almost killed John B for seeing Sarah. Everyone knows y/n was the favorite son. Hell, he probably still is, even with all the drama about him being passed over or some shit.”

“Exactly. He was the golden child. The whole Figure Eight will be out for you.”

“This is ridiculous,” JJ sighed. “What are your thoughts on this, Kie?”

“I… I knew y/n, at school when Sarah and I were first friends. He liked to hang around with us, even crash our sleepovers, but we never minded. I saw what he went through. He still carried around the hurt about being cast aside, about being second to his brother, about having to pretend to be someone he’s not. He’s a good guy, and JJ’s right. He’s nothing like Topper.” JJ was about to thank her when she said, “But I also know that Pope and John B are right. His family will never stand for this relationship, and from what I know about him, he won’t risk disappointing them. If it comes down to it, he’ll throw you aside to stay in their good graces.”

“That’s not true!” JJ couldn’t help but feel betrayed by both his friends and his feelings. Doubt crept into his heart and clouded his mind. Would you really not hesitate to leave him behind? His mom didn’t. “That’s not true… he wouldn’t… he wouldn’t do that.”

A sob escaped him when Kie wrapped an around his shoulder. John B placed his hands on his best friend’s thighs while Pope rubbed JJ’s back.

“The best thing, I think, is for you to just end it now before anyone else finds out,” John B suggested. “That way you can protect him from his family finding out, and you can protect yourself from him leaving you.”

You spent the whole night worrying. Every single time your brother got a text from one of your friends, you were terrified it was about you and JJ. You weren’t even sure how they would find out because it wasn’t like John B was going to send Topper a text like, “Hey did u hear ur brother is hooking up w my best friend?” But you couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. Finally you got a text from JJ asking you to meet him in your backyard. You made sure everyone was asleep before sneaking outside.

“Hey,” you greeted him with a shy smile, “how did your talk with John B go?”

“It was… good. I told Pope and Kie about us.”

“And?”

“y/n,” he sighed, making your stomach clench unpleasantly. “We need to talk.”

“Did they… did they say anything?” You saw his jaw clench and how his eyes couldn’t meet yours. “What did they say? If they disapprove because I’m a guy—“

“Of course they wouldn’t disapprove because of that! My friends love and accept me the way I am!”

“So they do disapprove of me.”

“They… they had some important things to say.”

“Like what?” you whispered, afraid of what he would say next. “What did they say to you, JJ?”

“Nothing I hadn’t already thought myself. And they were right. What would have happened if it had been your brother who had seen us? He would have told your parents, or given you some ultimatum, right?”

“What does that have to do with—“

“And you would have gone along with what he said.”

“How can you say that?” You tried to hold back tears as you felt your heart break. “You know I love you. How can you say that I would just submit to my family?”

“Because that’s why we kept this thing between us a secret! Because you’re ashamed to be with someone like me! It would ruin your stellar reputation!”

You stood there, arms crossed tightly over your chest, and stared at JJ. You schooled your face into your Kook persona, looking at him with cold eyes.

“So that’s it, then?” you asked cooly. “We’re just… over because you want to listen to your friends over your own boyfriend?”

“Are you really going to say you would do something different?”

“Well what would be the point? You’ve already made up your mind. Nothing I say will change what you’ve decided to believe, so why waste my breath?”

Tears seemed to fill JJ’s eyes. “You’re not going to even fight for us?”

“Did you?”

“y/n?” you heard your brother’s tired voice call from the balcony that overlooked the yard. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing. Maybank was just leaving.”

You turned your back on JJ and hurried inside, waiting until the door shut before you broke down in tears. You could hear Topper stumble down the stairs and freeze when he saw you crying at the bottom.

“I—are you okay?”

“Just peachy.”

He sighed and sat down next to you on the bottom step. The two of you, despite being twins, were never particularly good at the whole supportive sibling thing. You cared for each other, but after your parents pit the two of you against each other since birth, it was hard to be particularly close. In this moment, however, Topper hesitated only a moment before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and bringing you close, allowing you to sob into his shoulder.

“I don’t know what’s happening between you and Maybank… but… I’m sorry. It didn’t look like you guys were making up.”

You let out a bitter laugh. “Gonna tell Mom and Dad I was sneaking around with some guy from the Cut?”

“No. What good would that do? They would just get pissed and push you farther away. What’s the point in having them hate their favorite son more?”

“I’m not the favorite. Not anymore.”

“Well… neither am I.”

The two of you sat together for what seemed like hours, not really needing to speak to offer comfort to each other. Your parents ruined your sibling bond before it could really start, and you knew your brother could be an absolute asshole, but there was a sort of understanding between you now. You both had been broken by the constant pressure and judgement of your parents, and neither of you would ever good enough. Not anymore.

When you woke up the next morning, you felt like shit. You were supposed to meet Sarah for brunch at her place, but you didn’t want to tell her that JJ had broken up with you. She’d ask why, and you didn’t want to have to say it was because her boyfriend and friends got it into JJ’s head that you were going to abandon him. So you stayed in bed, curled up under your duvet with your phone turned off. You didn’t want to deal with anyone. You should have known your best friend would not stay away when she realized you weren’t reading her texts. You groaned when your bedroom door opened, Topper giving you an apologetic look before Sarah barreled in.

“Sorry, bro, she wouldn’t take no for an answer. I’ll just… leave you two alone.”

You glared at Sarah from underneath the mound of pillows you had created to snuggle with. Why was she ruining your pity party?

“What the hell is going on? Why haven’t you been reading my texts? We were supposed to have brunch!”

“Ugh, tone it down, Cameron. I’m clearly not in the best of moods.”

“Is this because John B found out yesterday about you and—“

“Do not fucking say his name,” you growled, your heart twisting at the thought of JJ. “I don’t want to talk about that Pogue ever again.”

“Whoa, okay, what is going on? Seriously, talk to me.”

You sniffled as you felt another round of tears coming. “Last night, he came here. And… and he broke up with me.”

“What? Why?”

Sarah slid under the covers beside you and wrapped her arms around your trembling figure, drawing you close so you could rest your head on her chest.

“Talk to me, honey. What happened?” she whispered in your hair.

“I don’t know. He was talking about some shit like if Topper found out, I would leave him to make my family happy. He didn’t even ask me. He just… said it like it was fact.”

“Did he mention anything from his talk with John B?”

“Just that they told him some important things.”

“Oh, I’ll kill that boy,” she snarled.

“No, Sarah, please don’t make a big deal of it! Please, I just… I just want to forget all about this.”

“Can you really move on so quickly?”

“…It fucking hurts,” you whimpered. “I thought what we had… it was special. I wanted to keep it secret so the people here wouldn’t fucking ruin it. But I guess we already did that ourselves.”

Sarah didn’t say anything else, just let you cry it all out in her arms. She would occasionally kiss your hair and stroked your back, trying her best to get you to feel better at all, but she knew this would take time. You were heartbroken. There was no quick fix to this. Except maybe…

A few days later, you looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed. In a weird twist that no one saw coming, Sarah and Topper had taken it upon themselves to throw a huge party for the Figure Eight at the Yacht Club. You weren’t exactly sure of the theme, but Topper instructed you to wear the clothes he had set out for you, and so you stared at your reflection all dress up in slacks, button down shirt, suspenders, and the scuffed up Vans you decided on over the dress shoes Topper wanted you to wear. You hadn’t been in the mood for a party until Sarah told you with a wink that this would be the perfect time to get laid and forget your heartbreak. Probably not the healthiest way to cope with a breakup, but it sure beat getting blackout drunk and waking up with the world’s worst hangover.

“Yo, you ready?”

You looked over your shoulder at your brother and shrugged. You weren’t even sure why they had decided to plan this party, and you weren’t in the proper headspace to start the process of understanding how the fuck they had agreed to work together.

“Still can’t believe you and Sarah are throwing me a pity party.”

“It’s not a pity party. It’s a ‘y/n needs to get laid and stop moping’ party,” Topper grinned. “Come on, let’s get you to the club, shall we?”

With a heavy sigh, you followed your brother out of the house to his car. You weren’t sure what the official story for the party was, but you assumed it was not ‘hey let’s get y/n laid’ because you were sure your parents wouldn’t think that was good for the family’s reputation. How the hell were you supposed to pick up some dude if your parents were right there? Obviously Topper and Sarah had overlooked some things, but it just seemed like getting drunk was the move.

“You are seriously not about to make a beeline to the bar,” Sarah intercepted you. “You literally just got here.”

“Damn it, Sarah, I’m dealing with heartbreak here. Show some sympathy.”

“I’m not letting you get wasted in front of your parents.”

You watched as she snagged a bottle of champagne from the bar and motioned to the club with her head. She led you into the locker room and opened the bottle with a loud ‘pop!’ causing the two of you to giggle.

“Sorry about the party.”

“Sarah, it’s barely started,” you laughed. “Nothing really to apologize for yet.”

“Yeah but it was my idea. I thought it would help you.”

“Just having you by my side helps.”

“I yelled at John B.”

“Well why would you go and do something like that?”

“He deserved it. He came clean about what all the Pogues said to JJ. They all felt terrible because JJ looked awful. Like probably as bad as you.”

“I look stunning,” you grumbled before taking a long swig of the champagne. “But what did they think was gonna happen?”

“They’re all idiots. Even Kie. But I set them straight about you.”

“Ah, so they think I’m just some helpless Kook who only does what Mommy and Daddy tell me to do.”

“Once upon a time you might have been.”

“Then they decided that because of my sexuality I didn’t deserve to be an important part of the family. I was immediately relegated to the disappointment. And for what? For them to continue to control my life like I matter to them?” You took another sip of the alcohol. “I would have done anything for JJ. Even defy my family. They’ve already decided I’m no good, so what did it matter if I dated him? What difference would that even make.”

Sarah rubbed your back and took back the bottle of champagne. She stood up and offered you a hand.

“Let’s go dance and get shit-faced.”

You grinned and took her hand. “Hell yeah, Sarah Cameron.”

As you walked back out to join the party, you eyes fell on a familiar head of golden hair. What the hell was he doing here? You could see your parents notice him, and then security was headed his way. Shit. Against your better judgement, you hurried outside.

“What’s going on?” you asked, causing your parents and JJ to look at you.

“A party crasher,” your mother told you, looking at your ex-boyfriend with a look of contempt. “No doubt trying to steal some of our expensive alcohol.”

You caught sight of the Pogues hovering at the edge of the party. Seriously, what the fuck was going on?

“y/n, I came here to talk to you,” JJ said as he desperately struggled against security’s tight grip on him.

“And so you decided to crash a party? Honestly, what was your thought process here?”

“I… I,” his voice cracked as his eyes flashed to your parents. He looked at you as if asking for permission. A chill ran down your spine when you realized he was asking for permission to talk about your relationship in front of your parents. Intrigued, you nodded.

“What is going on here?” your father asked, cutting JJ off before he could even utter another sound. “Do you know this…” His lip curled as he looked over the boy you loved. “Do you know him, y/n?”

“Please, y/n, I’m sorry,” JJ whispered. “I shouldn’t have just jumped to conclusions. I should have just talked to you.”

“Yeah, you should have.”

“My friends are a bunch of idiots who don’t even know you… but… they want to. Get to know you. Without bias.”

“What are you—“

“I was a mess after the other night. I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep and… I looked like shit.” His eyes met yours, and you were taken aback by the emotion in them. “I realized my life fucking sucks without you.”

You took a step towards him and asked, “Why?”

“Because I love you.”

The breath caught in your throat as your parents yelled at security to drag JJ away. He’d never said that to you before, and looking into his eyes… you knew he was telling the truth.

“Wait, let him go!” you demanded.

“y/n, what are you doing?” your father barked, his hand wrapping around your arm to keep you in place. “You cannot possibly be thinking about reciprocating this… this lowlife’s confession! Remember what we talked about.”

Suddenly Topper was coming between you two, causing your father to drop you. You could see the absolute surprise cross your father’s face. Never before had either of his sons stood up to him. Your brother gave you a nod. His permission, even if you didn’t need it. You hurried to catch up to security, who were close to throwing JJ off the premises.

“Wait! This is my party, and I say he can stay,” you told them, standing firmly in their way. “Let him go.”

The two guards looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Probably didn’t want to get caught up in some teenage drama, so they dropped JJ and backed away. You helped him up and placed your hands on his shoulders.

“Did you mean it?”

He looked deep in your eyes and nodded. Tears filled your eyes, and he was quick to brush any that fell away.

“I’m sorry that I’m such an asshole,” he whispered. “I’m not good with emotions and abandonment… I should never have accused you of all that stuff. Obviously I was wrong.”

“You are an asshole… but you’re mine. And I love you for it.”

Then, with the cheers of Sarah and the Pogues in the background, he pulled you in for a kiss. You knew for sure you were crossing a line with your parents, but at that time you couldn’t really find it in yourself to care. You were way too focused on the beautiful boy you loved. The beautiful boy who loved you back.

[lunar-magnolia]

@honestlyshamelesscollector thank you for asking me this!! I'm really happy to share my thoughts, I hope to answer your questions in the best way possible akdjsk

I absolutely agree with you about Xie Lian. He does indeed grow a lot, even though he does so in a traumatic way.

***A little disclaimer: these are just my thoughts here, first impressions having read the novel once, plus watched the donghua and read the manhua a couple of times. I'm no expert at all, but I have lots of feelings about this akdjskfmf

**Putting a read more because long lmao

Young Xie Lian's dream was to become a god and save the common people. And present Xie Lian does it everyday, as much as he can. The biggest lesson he got growing up was probably the fact that he can't save everyone at the same time, but saving (or helping) even just one person was enough. He might be a god, but he is still one person. Having godly powers doesn't make him omniscient or give him the ability to suddenly work on a bigger scale than he could when he was human.

Book 4 in particular highlights just how much the present Xie Lian has changed from the Crown Prince that Pleased The Gods, filled with the idealism of a young man and maybe just a little bit spoiled, to the kind and humble Scrap Immortal that does everything in his power to help the people he comes across.

We see him starting to change as soon as book 2 though. When he tries to both save the Imperial Capital from being invaded and save the Yong'an people from the draught, it's the first time Xie Lian faces the limits of his godly status and power. He divides his time to keep it going for a bit, but in the end he's exhausted and overwhelmed, and he can't do it anymore. Even though he is a god. The inevitable consequences of his own actions and the fall of Xianle challenged his idealism and destroyed his heart so hard that he almost gave in and took his revenge on innocent people. But one person is enough, right?

One could argue that Xie Lian never really had it in him to do it, and I'd probably agree. The whole waiting for someone to help him before releasing the curse, and then trying to sacrifice himself when it eventually was too late to avoid it was enough of an indication for me. It only took the kindness of one person to make him change his heart. If he truly sought revenge, one person wouldn't have been enough. And damn if that didn't ruin Bai Wuxian's plans wonderfully lolll

Xie Lian knew in his heart that the people of Yong'an didn't deserve to pay the price for what happened to Xianle. Even though Bai Wuxian tried (and for a while succeeded) to make him believe it.

Straying from the path that Bai Wuxian wanted him to walk was not as easy as it seems. Bai Wuxian carefully paved all the paths for him, pushed Xie Lian in the directions he wanted him to go with the most violent methods I've ever seen, but Xie Lian always found a way to avoid it, also thanks to Hua Cheng's presence, even when he didn't know it was him (I have so many feelings about that imma cry skfjkefj). Hua Cheng always believed in him and knew what Xie Lian was truly capable of, and boy was he right gdi.

When Xie Lian went through the betrayal of Jun Wu, Hua Cheng's presence reminded him of who Xie Lian is and what he's become. The doubts Bai Wuxian put in his mind, the danger of the Human Face Desease threatening to be freed again, and the resolution to not give in into grief and pain and staying true to the person he had become were again overcome thanks to one person. Xie Lian could have never actually become what Bai Wuxian wanted him to, no matter what he threw at him.

In the end, Xie Lian learnt how to save the common people for real. And he realized that didn't have to do it alone! Instead, the common people themselves were part of the solution (the human array to contain the resentful spirits yknow). It does send an important message, and it's probably the most important thing that Xie Lian learnt: that one person alone cannot save all, if all don't want to be saved. It's a group effort, it takes time and heart and not everyone has it in their heart to risk their lives for the sake of others. Godly powers can only do so much, and a god cannot change fate from above. A god must instead support and protect the people, work with them, give them a boost, and in the end the people will save themselves.

It's a really nuanced and complicated process, I don't know how to explain it properly ajdkfjdl.

It's also worth mentioning that the relationship with Mu Qing and Feng Xin had all the potential to prevent much of what happened to Xie Lian. But just as Xie Lian was young and inexperienced, so were they. And despite all, until Xie Lian stopped thinking of them as servants, he couldn't grow. He had to lose them to truly understand the depth and worth of people believing in him. Which doesn't make it any less painful or sad... Things could have indeed gone differently, but the outcome would have never been the same. I'm glad in the end they kind of sorted it out though.

And the fact that Mu Qing and Feng Xin still cared for Xie Lian when he ascended for the third time was so evident in hindsight. Made me smile when I realized.

Also I liked that in the end Xie Lian didn't go rule the heavens or even go back to it, and instead stayed in the mortal realm to continue doing what he did for the past 800 years. Considering that young Xie Lian said clearly that he wanted to become a god, it's an important thing. It shows that in his mind the concept of gods and their role has changed, and he will stick to his new views despite the possibility of achieving what his young self wanted. Though this isn't just a consequence of book 5, it was shown even earlier when he first visited his palace in the heavens. Xie Lian didn't want to enter it, it made him uncomfortable, and instead sat outside waiting for Shi Qingxuan.

There are so many things to say about Xie Lian but idk if I have the competence to express them all akdjskfj I love his character to bits. His development was not banal in any way, and even though we didn't see all the 800 years it took for him to change, we do feel how gradual that was. Just think of when he met Banyue.

He was still a bit idealistic, telling her that his dream was to save the common people, but he already grew enough of a thick skin to understand when it was worth to pick a fight or not, and he wasn't picky on food (even cooking it himself in his helmet, with outrageous results). It might not seem much, but all things considered, it was a change.

In his first banishment he learnt how hard life was without his Crown Prince status, but he still picked fights with people and refused to eat some things because they weren't as high quality as the food he used to eat at the Royal Palace.

During his second banishment, he learnt to be humble and how problems couldn't be solved with just the right idea. He learnt the grayness of morality and life, how right and wrong are not absolute concepts. He experienced the worst fortune (by his own choice) and learnt how to not let it get to him, how to grow enough of a thick skin to get up each time and not take his frustration out on others.

Truly, Xie Lian is a great character. I have read the novel only one time so far, but I'm planning to reread it soon. So who knows, I might notice more things next time around! This was just my first impression Ahah

As for things I wish that were better explored in the story, I'd say Pei Ming's growth and maybe Ling Wen's motives (though I might have just blinked and missed this last part, because I was still reeling from the Black Water arc lmao).

About Pei Ming, I think he went through a considerable growth since the first time we see him, when he tries to save Little Pei from banishment. At first he gave me the impression of being the usual arrogant womanizer, who would do anything to avoid having his reputation tarnished. But blinking to book 5, we see that he's... Idk, it feels like he's taken that shameless arrogance and put it away, especially after interacting with the Rain Master. Their story is extremely important to his development imo. Their shared past held a place in his heart, and it resurfaced when he met the Rain Master again. I think he was deeply signed by her actions in the past, and he never forgot her.

It's shown when Pei Ming refuses to be saved by the Rain Master and refuses the sword she wants to give to her (which incidentally is the same sword that, yknow, she used to sacrifice herself in front of him back in the days). He says (or better, the people around him say) that it was out of pride, because he couldn't accept that a woman saved him. But he never confirmed or denied it, instead he ran after her "to help".

At the end of the story Pei Ming is not as loud and proud of his reputation as he was in the beginning, instead he seems humbled.

I think the Xuan Ji case also had an important role in his development. Considering how we see her dissolve having found peace after talking/fighting with Pei Ming during the Mount Tong'lu arc, I do think that Pei Ming himself must have reflected on himself a bit too.

He also lost his two best friends, Shi Wudu and Ling Wen, so... Yknow, my hualian ship captain must have had some changes.

Especially when it comes to the Rain Master, I feel there are good basis for a good friendship between them, despite the past. The Rain Master never showed open animosity towards him, instead she helped him. It seemed to me that Pei Ming is the one who believed she hated him, but it was never confirmed.

And maybe if you squint there could be more between them, if you're into that ahah. I wish we could have seen more of his grown version, though I do understand that it happened in the epilogue and the book is already as long as it can be ahaha. So really I'm not that sad it didn't happen, I'm happy that there are signs in the background that "hint" at that instead (if they can be considered hints, idk ahha).

About Ling Wen, ehhhh I want to reserve the right to reread and reconsider. Right now I feel like the Brocade Immortal thing was almost unnecessary? I like her background, how she became the biggest civil goddess of the heavens, but I didn't get why she created the brocade. Again though, I might just go back and reread that part later. Tbh I was reeling really hard after the Black Water arc, so I just blanked on some things akfjskf

Did the Brocade serve any purpose in the end? Aside from being the catalyst of Ling Wen's story arc and being one of the two mighty ghosts in Mount Tong'lu (and also giving that nice hualian scene where Hua Cheng was trying so hard to get kissies from Xie Lian ahaha). Idk, I'd like to hear your thoughts about this!!

I think I rambled enough, if you got to this point wow you're amazing! And thank you for going through this long rant Ahah. I hope it makes some sort of sense! Thank you again for the questions, talking about tgcf made me really happy!

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

What are ur tilda hcs?

Okay im finally gonna answer this!! Thank you so much for asking!!! I love receiving asks and I love sharing my headcanons. Sorry again it's so late ❤❤❤

This isn't gonna be nearly as well worded and eloquent as I originally planned. The first time I wrote it it basically became a drabble about her life. And then I lost that whole draft. Lmao

I just don't have it in me to recreate that whole thing again but I still wanna share my headcanons about her because I do have a lot!

I also wanna say this is in no way to like... excuse her behavior or try and redeem her. She was a terrible person. But people aren't born terrible. And I like taking 2 dimensional fictional women and making them make sense. So this isn't to excuse but instead to explain? I guess?

cw for all the shit you expect with the minyards by now, but specifically drug addiction and statutory rape. Also this is LONG so its going under a cut.

So first of all, I imagine her and Luther as being half siblings. Their father was a preacher or something- someone with a big role in their church's community and a big reputation of being a reliable, wise, holy man.

When Luther was maybe around 3 years old, there was this teenage girl in the congregation who would often come to Mr. Hemmick for advice, guidance, comfort, etc. She didn't quite fit in in school, wasn't great at academics and struggled to keep up with her siblings achievements, and was overall going through a lot of the turmoil thats unfortunately common for teenagers.

So she, like many people in the congregation, went to Mr Hemmick for guidance and ended up seeing a lot of him. She felt listened to and believed in with him. She felt like he treated her as more mature than the way her family treated her. She trusted him. He abused that.

If you asked her at the time, she would have said it was consensual between them. But she was 16. And when she became pregnant, he turned on her REAL fast lemme tell you. He made her promise not to tell anyone that he was the father, and he only told his wife. And of course, when he told his wife, he talked at length about how this 16 year old girl tempted him to sin; how he regretted it and only hoped she could learn to truly find God.

So he took the child in upon being born as a way to "attone" for what he'd done, but the whole community (not knowing he was the father) just saw it as an act of good will. And of course he'd tout off a lot in his sermons about how he'd be able to give the baby a much better, holier lifestyle than a teenager who turned her back on god by having sex.

So he and his wife end up raising Tilda from birth, but they make sure she knows from the beginning the circumstances of her birth. They drill it into her that her mother was a dirty sinner and that she herself is tainted as a result. She is raised always feeling like she needs to be twice as good to even be considered half as good as her brother in her parents eyes.

Naturally, she stops trying pretty early. In middle school, I imaging her being one of those bullies. The really nasty ones who get violent at their victims for even looking at them wrong. Idk about anyone else, but in my schools growing up the fights between the girls were always way bloodier than the ones between the guys. And I imagine those as the types of fights she got in- especially when one of her victims decides to stand up for themselves by throwing her own baggage back in her face.

By high school, she was thoroughly committed to the role of problem child. She would do everything she could to upset her family and get herself into shit. She'd do drugs, skip classes, show up to school drunk, stay out late, etc. In addition to all this, she would purposefully find whatever guy seemed like the most trouble and take him home. Whether this was the school drug dealer, a boy who got expelled for some rough shit, or college boys who caught her eye at parties.

So she's basically dug this hole for herself where she's committed to actually being the child of sin that her family has always seen her as anyway. The few people who tried to reach out to her wouldn't get far. She would push and push at them to see how far she could stretch their patience (to see how long it took them to give up on her like everyone else).

She even had one teacher who never did give up on her. But she outright told Tilda that she can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Those words would ring in Tildas ears for years to come, even if she never found it in herself to put the concept into action.

So eventually she'd graduate- just barely because she rarely put in effort in school- and she'd be left to suddenly have to find a place in the world when she previously never even thought she'd have a future. She started batting heads with her family even more (which no one thought was possible at that point) but it became less antagonistic on her end. She was still a shit stirrer, don't get me wrong. But she was getting tired. The fights were less about her being intentionally aggrevating and aggressive and more about her continuously being unable to live up to their expectations.

Luther already had a promising job as a cop at this point, meanwhile she was still living at home and bouncing between jobs that barely kept her afloat and boyfriends that barely made her feel worth something. She'd gotten into drugs in high school, and the habit only got worse now that she was out. It was the only thing that made her feel something other than misery or numbness. She could lose herself in the drugs and the boyfriends and the late nights out. She would come home to see her parents less and less and would speak to them only when absolutely necessary.

Eventually Mr. Hemmick died fairly young (heart attack or something equally as tragic. Whatever I dont care about him enough to pick the details) and his wife followed soon after by suicide. The house was left to Luther, who moved back in immediately and said there'd be changes in the household. He basically told Tilda to quit the drugs and go back to church if she wanted to stay in the house. He also had other rules like keeping a job, dumping her current boyfriend, giving her a curfew, etc.

So she left. She took her shitty beat up car an ex had fixed up for her and headed to California. A friend from high school lived out that way, so that's where she headed.

During this period in her life the drugs got a lot worse. This is also when she realized that she had become addicted. Mainly this is because, even after being away from her family and having freedom, she was still miserable. She didn't know how to get through a day sober. The constant variation between numbness and misery was too much to bare, but she wasn't ready to help herself. She wasn't ready to commit to her own healing and health.

She was in and out of therapy and rehab as quickly as she'd change jobs and partners. She wouldn't commit, and as soon as she had an out she'd take it. Had to miss an appointment for scheduling? Didn't make it back to the shelter in time to claim her bed for the night? Forgot to call back one of the few people who tried to reach out? No going back.

This is my main thing with Tilda. She was a shitty person who had a shitty life. But she never found the strength and commitment in herself to put in the work to be better. She instead let herself fall further and further down the hole because it was easier than pulling herself out. Because part of her still believed deep down that she had succeeded in living up to her birthright- that she wasn't deserving of ever healing or being better.

It was in one of these rehab facilities that she met the twins' father (and this part is absolutely inspired by Luke and Joey from the haunting of hill house). He was a guy with a similar past to hers- always sure he was meant to be bad so he committed to the role and never learned to commit to anything else. The difference between them, though, was that he was ready to get better.

They became fast friends and leaned on one another a bit while in rehab. She didn't see him as anything other than a friend, but he unfortunately became set on this idea that they would heal and move forward together. She knew he had feelings for her and enabled him (she didn't love him back but had never actually felt cared for like this before). He believed in her even when she didn't believe in herself, which was a lot. Unfortunately for him, he also ended up being more committed to her healing than she was. When she eventually started spiraling again, all other feelings for him were overshadowed by the part of her that just saw an opportunity.

She took advantage of him. She slept with him, took his money while he was sleeping, and bailed to get high and never see him again. Now I'm not gonna say she was just a devil who entered this poor man's life. He saw her more as a potential for an ideal life than a person. He was more in love with the dream he had of them getting better and starting a life together than he was actually in love with her and who she was as a person. Bad match all around.

So she never saw or heard from him again. When she found out she was pregnant, she went home to Luther and his wife and son. She didn't tell him right away that she was pregnant. Instead, she pretended she was just finally ready to commit to God and turn her life around. She played the part alright for a while, went to church with them and got sober and everything, but tried to leave and move into a women's shelter when she started showing. Luther found out and brought her home.

At first he was actually super supportive- mainly because he just genuinely thought she wanted to find God and stop "living in sin". But when she finally told him she didn't plan to keep the child, he turned on her.

We know the story from there. Personally I think the night that she stole the money and ran as her point of no return. Years down the line, when she knew she was being a terrible mother and person, she'd remember that night. And she'd think to herself how this is who she was always meant to be. How she doesnt deserve to be any better than how she is. And she'd dig the hole deeper.

-----

So yeah thats my take on Tilda Minyard. Sorry it was so long. I like the idea of giving depth and complexity to female characters- even the bad guys and the ones I don't like. I have a similar lengthy life concept for Mary Hatford as well, but it isn’t nearly as long. If anyone is curious lol

Thanks again for asking!

[buttercupbuck]

All joking aside, if they *had to* hire a non-latinx actress for a latinx role they could have just..not made a point of her being latina.This could have potentially been a very interesting part of this storyline, the shared heritage, and they just blew it. Now it honestly seems more like a mockery, with GW using that fake accent of hers and fans gladly using this as justification for their racism.And i'm still not sure if it's supposed to be...sexy or something? If so, congratulations, you failed massively.

Also, and this could just be me, but both me and all of my friends who aren't native english speakers NEVER put on an accent or.. idk revert back into our native language's phonology to "correctly" pronounce a name or whatever when speaking english to each other. It messes with the flow of your sentence. That, in my experience, is something people do to prove how well they speak a foreign language.

ugh yeah. i guess im at least a little grateful that their shared heritage isn’t as much of a thing as it could’ve been but i literally don’t get why it was necessary at all. or if they felt that her being latina was absolutely essential to the storyline (which, so far it hasn’t been), they could’ve just?? cast an actual latina 😭

and yeah i will say that it’s really frustrating and disappointing that this fandom just ran with the fact that GW isn’t latina (and even before that, just the fact that he prefers to be called eddie) and took it as an opportunity to mock his name and make such a fucking joke of it. not surprised at all considering how this fandom treats eddie in general, but it’s just so ugly

and yeah idk honestly! i grew up mostly around native english speakers (and for example, my mom - who taught herself spanish and isn’t super comfortable in it - sometimes does a similar thing where she overprounces certain words, and i too def sometimes fall into that just bc im always paranoid about not sounding good or authentic or whatever), but all the native spanish speakers that i do know have an accent anyway, so they don’t have to put on anything bc it’s just how they speak? all to say that i don’t have much of a basis for that, but the way she puts on an accent definitely annoys the fuck out of me anyway lmao

[thesvenqueen]

S&B Episode 6

- you're a horrible liar bro - um, excuse me, they are NOT his crew RUDE - buuuuuuuusted - NINA?!?! GIRL WHAT??????? - Hahaha oh heyyyyy - Oh Inej...Kaz bout to be fucking FURIOUS yo - Yikes Fedyor... - THEY KNOW OF MATTHIAS?!?!?! NOOOOO - Aw HELL YEAH GIVE ME MORE NINA & MATTHIAS CONTENT LETS GOOOOO - Matthias, get on the damn board and stfu - I mean, Zoya you are not wrong but also you in daaaanger girl just saying that hooooo boy - no the fuck you don't. more manipulation ughhhhh stooooop - DAMN ZOYA AND HIM HAD A THING?!?!?! SHEEEEEEEEEEEESH - ah, he manipulated her too my god dude - MAL!!!!!!! - take it offfffff TAKE IF OFFFFFFF - YEEEES - "You're just a man, like all the others" I BEG TO DIFFER THAT MAN IS FINE AS FUCK HELLO?!?!?! - HA I saw that lick of your lips Nina, HARD same - You're both fucking idiots my god - Yeahhhh you like her hehehe - .....well this argument is fun - "thanking you for finding me" "Always. I'll always find you" now KISS you fools - oh well, parents are fighting...again. fuck. - oooo love the slgith of hand yes yes - I mean...he has a point? - ooop.....yeah, so about the club >.> - "I'm sorry it took me this long to see you Alina. But I see you now" OH that's so SWEET. - HA Nina such a tease, I love you - "No it's natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall and yet oh, there you stand" HAHA YESSSS I loved that line from the book - Awww Matthias' laugh is adorable I love it - oh...oh no - uhh...hey guys lmao nice to see y'all - Jesper vs Ivan..interesting - Jesper really playing with his food over here omg - "You're a--" yep, he is, you are completely right sir - Inej really said aight, bet, then you can die - KAZ VS DARKLING OH SHIT LETS GOOOOO - TELL HIM KAZ - AHHHHHHH KAZ OUTSMARTED THE DARKLING OH SHIIIT HAHAHAHA THATS MY BOY - Also where the fuck did you get that flash bomb Kaz >.> - Haha yep, he does not at all wanna like you Nina but he already does - AHHHH TOLD YOU SO - THE TEASING I CAN NOT - And here is where the dynamic completely changes and ohhhh my shipper heart - THE INTRODUCTION I CAN NOT FUCK. IMMA BURST - He put the fucking coat around her, I CAN NOT IMMA DIE NOW BYE - bruh, the struggle on Kaz' face to help Inej but knowing he literally is unable to just UGH KILL ME - Oh Kaz big mad, so we gonna steal the Darkling's carriage hahaha love it. He looks so incredibly mad too, don't hurt his..investments lmao - DAVID HAHAHAHAHA I fucking love you you precious bean I swear to god - Noooot the name sliiiiip - nah we know you jealous Mal lol - oop, he knows. that's not good Ok, I know people complained about envisioned Nina to be different than what Danielle but I have to say, she is killing this role and is a FANTASTIC Nina. Also, seeing someone that look similar to my body type just..makes me so happy. Again, I know representation matters and I completely agree and understand people's annoyance/anger towards the depiction of Nina here but for me, personally, I love it and love Danielle completely. And Matthias, my main stupid lump of muscle, keep doing you cause D A M N. Seeing how Kaz is making rash decisions is not so out of character as, again, he is younger here than in the books so him putting the crow club up as collateral for Inej makes sense. Could be how, in the future, after this adventure he ends up working for Haskell. I do love them working out the kinks of their crew though, learnign to trust the other and that though they believe in other things, doesn't mean they can't work together. Though, I will say, Kaz had a slight point that this job may not have been the best one for Inej if she was going to let her faith lead the way. complicatedddddd. The reunion between Mal and Alina was FAR MORE satisfying than in the books because we've seen BOTH of their journeys to get there, one that was finally set directly towards the other while another was pulled askew but led back in the right direction again. It's more wholsome, satisfying in a sense than it was when reading it as you get a full sense of what both of them are doing, especially Mal. The

realization as well from the Darkling that Alina RAN, Ben depicts him brilliantly. I still hate him SO much as he manipulates everyone around him to gain what he wants, including Zoya which poor thing, but I have to say Ben is kiiiiiilling it for sure.

The casting, seriously, is absolutely perfect for everyone. Which is incredibly rare for book addaptations but fr, they nailed it here.