#she was feeling all over castiel’s hand mark too. like who gave her the right to touch his claiming mark!

[rat-hand]

Castiel was so jealous in “heaven and hell”!

[rowyn-writes]

A Mother's Love (Dean x Wife!Reader)

Warnings: Language, fluff, major angst, implications of divorce, arguing, Dean being mean to Jack

Pairings: Dean x Wife!Reader

Characters: Dean, Jack, Sam, Reader, Cas (mentioned only)

Word count: 2.7k

You threw your bag down as you entered the bunker, exhausted from your last hunt. This was one of the rare cases where you worked alone.

Sometimes you needed the time to yourself, away from all the men. Sometimes you would go hunting with Jody and Claire, but even then, those two argued like cats and dogs.

"Y/N," Jack smiled as you entered the kitchen. "How was the hunt?"

"It was pretty good, actually." You grinned as you sat across from him. "I was chasing down this werewolf in Tennessee, and it was really strange. He'd kill one person, turn the next, and repeat that cycle."

"That's. . . Weird." He furrowed his eyebrows.

"That's what I said. Well," You continued on with the story of your hunt, watching as Jack's eyes widened in amazement and awe.

"Y/N?" Dean called your name, entering the kitchen. "Hey, sweetheart. I didn't know you were home?"

You stood up, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Sorry, babe. I got sidetracked. I was just telling Jack about my trip." You smiled, looking over at the boy. You were concerned, as the smile fell from his face and he looked away from you and Dean. "You okay, kid?"

"Yeah," He nodded, not meeting your eye. "I'll give you two some space." He mumbled as he walked out of the kitchen.

"Does he seem off to you?" You asked Dean.

"Nah, he acts like he usually does. Squirrelly and weird."

"Says the squirrel himself." You rolled your eyes. "Did something happen while I was gone?"

Dean said nothing as he looked down, an obvious indicator that he was guilty of something. "Dean," You growled lowly. "Did you say something to Jack? Something that would upset him somehow?"

When Dean didn't give you an answer, you shook your head as you follow Jack to his room.

"Jack." You called out. He seemed to be lost in thought, as he didn't react to your words. "Jack!" You said louder, causing him to turn around. There was a tiny amount of fear in his eyes. If you didn't know him, it wouldn't have affected you.

"What's wrong?" You asked softly, resting your hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing." He spoke. "Why would anything be wrong?"

"Jack, I saw how you reacted when Dean came in. You looked like a kicked puppy. Don't tell me it's nothing, kiddo."

In the time you had known Jack, you had grown to care for him deeply. You had always wanted kids, but in this life, it wasn't possible. Well, it was, but you knew you didn't want your children to do what you do. So when Jack was born, you felt extremely happy because it felt like you finally had a child. Albeit, he did look twenty.

"Dean doesn't like me very much." He admitted.

"I'm sure that's not true. . ." You argued weakly. In all honesty, you didn't think Dean liked Jack either. It's not like he was abusive, but he did treat him differently than everyone else.

"But it is, Y/N."

"How do you know, Jack? With Dean, it takes him time to warm up to people. It took him months to actually trust me. He's a cautious person."

"Did he threaten you too?" Jack asked, genuinely curious. His head was tilted to the side, his honey blonde hair falling into his eyes. He had gotten that head tilt from Cas.

"Dean. . . Threatened you?" You whispered hoarsely.

"Yes," He nodded. "He told me if I hurt you or Sam, or anyone, that he would be the one to hunt me down and kill me."

Your mouth popped open in horror. You could never imagine your sweet, loveable, goofy Dean threatening Jack. "What else did he say, Jack? Did he say anything prior to this?"

"He said that he doesn't think that I can be saved. He said that even though you and Sam think that I can, that he doesn't."

"Jack, you don't need to be saved. There is no saving to do. You are a good kid. You would never do anything to intentionally hurt anyone. I'm so sorry. I should have been there." You sigh.

"He's not wrong, Y/N. I can't be saved. What if I turn out like my father, my real father."

You frowned as you cupped his face in your hands. "Jack, you are nothing, and I mean nothing, like Lucifer. You are just like your mother. You are sweet, caring, and you are empathetic. Just like Kelly."

"You really believe that?" He whispered, tears forming in his eyes.

"No, I don't believe it, Jack. I know it. You are nothing like Lucifer. If anything, you are much more like Castiel."

"Really?" He smiled.

"Yeah," You nodded. "You see, I don't know if you know this, but Cas does this little thing where he tilts his head to the side if he doesn't understand something or if he's perplexed. And I noticed that you do the same thing." Jack's smile widened as you removed your hands from his face. "And neither of you have any knowledge of pop culture. Even though Cas was here for a lot longer than you, he never understood a single reference any of us made. Even if it was something like Scooby Doo." You giggled, feeling your throat tightening at the thought of your dead friend. "And you two state the obvious a lot. Not in a bad way, more in a comedic way. It lightens the mood nearly every time. Cas would rarely smile. When I asked him why, he would say that the world was going to hell and he didn't have anything to smile about. But when he did smile, it would make everyone else smile with him. The same goes for you. Just seeing that little toothy grin of yours makes me smile. I mean hell, you two even look a lot alike."

"Could you tell me more about him?" Jack asked.

"Of course, but I have something to take care of first. Then you and I will cuddle up and watch a movie and I'll tell you everything you want to know about Cas, okay?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." He spoke. "Before you go, could I ask you something?" You nodded. "If I were to have a mother figure, and I called her mom, do you think my mother would be upset?"

"No, sweetheart, I don't think she would be upset. I think that she would be happy that there's someone down here taking care of you and you feel comfortable enough to call them mom." You said, completely oblivious as to what Jack was suggesting.

"Then. . . Could I call you mom?"

You felt the air leave your lungs as his words hit you like a truck. Jack watched as tears welled up in your eyes. Jack was horrified; he had never meant to make you cry. "Yo-you want to call me m-mom?" You stammer.

"If you're not comfortable with it I understand. I'm sorry, Y/N, I-"

You cut him off with a tight embrace. "Of course you can call me mom." You whisper, squeezing the boy tightly.

"Why are you crying?" He questioned.

"These are happy tears, Jack. I'm not upset. It's just. . . I never thought that I would have children, but then you came along, and you gave me what I wanted. You gave me a chance to be a mother."

"Thank you for being here for me, mom."

You gave Jack a huge smile as you pulled away. "Okay," You said, putting a hand on his arm. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to deal with my ass of a husband."

---

"Dean Winchester," You boomed, roaming around the bunker in search for your husband.

"Ooooh, you're in trouble." You hear Sam snicker.

"But I didn't do anything. Wait, what day is it?" Dean asked frantically.

"April ninth." Sam quipped.

"Okay, no birthday, no anniversary, so there's that."

You entered The Dean Cave, as Dean called it, seeing red. "What the hell, Winchester." You growled. "Sam, out. Now."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Sam said, grabbing his bowl of popcorn and walking out of the room.

"Yes, darling, sweetheart, love of my life. What can I do for you?" Dean spoke sweetly, giving you those stupid, green doe eyes.

"Jack told me." You said simply. "He told me what you said to him. That if it comes down to killing him, that you would be the one to do it. That there was no saving him."

"Y/N, you have to understand where I'm coming from." He tried to reason with you. "You should have seen him. He was stabbing himself with a knife! And it closed up like it was nothing! It's not  normal. He's not normal."

"And?! None of us are normal, Dean. We've all died and came back to life. Sam didn't have a soul, he was hooked on demon blood, yet you were still there for him. You still believed in him. You died and became a demon, you bore the Mark of Cain and had a thing for God's friggin sister! And I still loved you through it. I have been brainwashed and manipulated into hurting all of you, and you still forgave me! Cas betrayed us, and we were still there for him. None of us are fucking normal! So what the hell, Dean? You're holding a grudge against Jack just because of who his dad is?"

"His father is Lucifer, Y/N!"

"Well that's stating the goddamn obvious!" You yelled.

"He could turn on us at any moment! We don't know this kid. We don't know what he can do."

"So we learn, Dean! We should help him figure out his way. Guide him in the right direction. Show him what a true, loving family looks like!"

"We are not his family, Y/N! And he's not our family. He never will be." Dean argued.

You flinched back, glaring at Dean. "How dare you! You son of a bitch! Whether you believe it or not, Jack is family. To me and to Sam. We care about him and love him!"

"He doesn't even know what love means!"

"Yes, he does! Because he feels things, Dean. He cares. He cares about all of us, including you. You know, he asked me if he could call me mom today. Did you know that? He trusts me and cares for me so much that he sees me as a mother figure."

"He's got you brainwashed, Y/N! Can't you see that?!"

"If he looked like his actual age, would you be acting like this?"

"What kind of question is that." He scoffed.

"If Jack looked four months old instead of twenty, would you still be treating him like this?" You asked steadily. Dean remained silent. "See! He is four months old, no matter how old he looks, he's still a baby."

"So, what, you want me to change his diaper or some shit?"

"No! I want you to treat him like a human being!" You yelled.

"But he's not human!"

You and Dean stood your ground, neither of you letting up. "Fine. I'm leaving then. And I'm taking Jack with me."

"No, you're not."

"Fucking watch me, Dean. I can't even look at you right now. Because you are not the man I married. That man was compassionate and caring. This one isn't. And until he comes back, I'm staying away." You cried.

Before Dean could get another word out, you left the den. You noticed that Sam was standing in the hallway, giving you a saddened look. "You're really leaving?"

"I'm sorry, Sam." You sobbed. "But I can't be around him right now. And I don't think Jack should be either. We're going to my parents house for a while. And until he gets his shit together, I'm not coming back.

"I know. I don't understand why Dean is acting like this." He mumbled.

"I don't either. It's so unlike him." You agreed.

"So what are you going to tell Jack?"

"Just that we're going to take a little road trip and visit my parents. I don't know, Sam, this whole thing is so strange to me. But I know have to go."

Sam frowned as he pulled you into a hug. "I'm really going to miss you. But you do what you need to do. And if you ever need anything, you call me, okay? I don't care what time of day it is, call me."

"I will." You squeeze Sam tightly. "Thank you for being an amazing brother and best friend." You pulled away, teary eyed as you parted from your brother in law. "I hope to be back soon."

You softly knocked on Jack's door before entering. "Hey, Jack." You smiled.

"Mom!" He said excitedly. "Are we going to watch movies now?"

"Actually, there's been a change of plans. Me and you are going on a road trip to visit my parents."

"Really? Are Sam and Dean coming with us?"

You swallowed hard, a lump forming in your throat. "No, actually. This is a trip just for us. Sam and Dean wanted to stay here just in case they find a case or something that can get Mary back from apocalypse world. So I'm going to help you pack and then we can get on the road."

---

You had sent Jack to your car, having him put everything in the trunk while you finished up things in the bunker. The last thing you grabbed was a machete that belonged to your father before he gave it to you.

"Don't go." A voice whispered. You turned to see Dean, who looked like he had been crying. "Please don't leave."

You swallowed hard, feeling tears rush to your eyes once more. "Will you accept Jack as family?"

"Y/N-" Dean said, exasperated. "He can stayed here but he's not family."

"That's not good enough, Dean. Because I know how you act around people you don't trust."

"You can't force me to trust him." Dean scoffed.

"That's not what I want. I want you to get to know him. I want you to try."

"Y/N. . . I just. . . I can't."

"I think. . . I think we need time apart." You mumbled.

"Y/N, please –"

"Only for a little bit." You assured him. "They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all." You gave him a sad smile, trying to control your tears.

You turned to leave before Dean's voice stopped you. "If you leave, then we're over. That's it. Don't bother coming home."

You sighed as you looked back at Dean. You cupped his face in your hands and gave him a slow, sensual kiss. You could feel salty tears on your lips as you memorized how Dean's mouth felt against yours. It was warm and soft. You could taste the remnants whiskey on his breath.

You pulled away slightly, resting your forehead on Dean's. You felt tears streaming down your face as you looked the man you had grown to love over the past ten years. You had been through hell and back, literally. You had lost each other, fell out of love and back in love.

"This isn't goodbye, Dean." You whimpered. "I swear it isn't. I love you with every part of my soul. I'm not choosing Jack over you, okay? I just need time. I need you to wait for me."

"That's all I've ever done, Y/N." Dean shook his head. "I waited on you when you were in relationships, when you were heartbroken, when your sister died, I waited on you to love me back. I'm tired of waiting. I will always love you, and you'll always be with me. You've changed me, and I'm so thankful for it. You've made me a better man. But I can't. . . I can't keep doing this, Y/N." He whispered as he slipped off his wedding band. "This is goodbye." He set the ring in your hand, curling your fingers around it. "Goodbye, sweetheart." He gave you one final kiss. But this one was rough and full of passion. It really was goodbye.

"Dean, please." You cried. He pressed a swift kiss to the crown of your head before leaving you standing alone in the library. Sobs racked through your body as you clutched Dean's ring to your chest. "Please come back." You whispered.

You wiped your face of tears and stuck Dean's ring in your pocket. There would be time for tears later. Right now you just needed to get out of the bunker. As you looked around the library, you realized you had never felt this alone.

[spnfan-fics]

SOBRENATURAL CELEBRATION : DAY 4 : music

🦋 FRENESÍ

( Latina Mother, Latino Son )

- Characters : Dean Winchester (main), Castiel (main), Jack Kline (main), Sam Winchester (secondary), Jody Mills (secondary), Claire Novak (secondary), Mary Winchester (mention), Garth (mention), Bobby Singer (mention), John Winchester (mention).

- Focus : Latino Dean singing to his family. Jack / Dean pov.

- Tags : #Latinenatural ; #SobrenaturalCelebration ; #Destiel

- Language : English (mostly), Spanish (a few phrases).

⠀

While celebrating Castiel birthday on the bunker, Jack finds a box full of old records that used to be Mary's. Dean decides is a good night as any to tell the story of that collection— and maybe sing a song or two.

[ there's a mention of something cruel and ugly regarding the immigrants down the border, but it's nothing explicit and it's that, a quick mention. Still, here's the warning ]

( the complete version under the cut )

⠀

Jack finds them two doors down Dean's room.

They're in a box without label, sitting in an organized row turned almost completely grey from the amount of dust settling over each cover.

Jack doesn't recognizes the names, but he has lived long enough with Dean to know they must be in Spanish. Some words he gets, some names sounding like the other ones Dean mentions when he speaks about his childhood.

When he blows the dust from the covers, he notices some marks, pen ink probably. Mostly dates and– he has no idea, but there are stars.

It's only when he's back at the heart of the bunker, the box secured with both hands, that he realizes he forgot to bring the records Dean actually asked for. Not the mysterious box. No, he went to find a total different collection of oldies but goldies, something soft to listen to in the background while they celebrated Cas birthday.

When Dean finds him over Cas' shoulder, Jack slumps a little and stares down at the vinyls.

“Jack, please bring them to–”

Before Sam can end what he was going to say, Jack is carefully setting the box on the long table, retreating a couple of steps. He notices their shadows first, Sam's larger on his right, before a hand lands on his shoulder. He sees Dean closing his fingers on one of the covers, pulling it from the box.

“Daniel Santos,” Dean reads, a tug on his lips.

Jack's focus flashes quickly on Dean's expression, before turning to a gaping Sam.

“Were those... Are they...” Sam squints, blinking a little faster. He's trying to read the covers too.

“Mary's.”

The voice comes from behind. Jack moves over when Claire touches lightly his arm, letting her join them on a perfect semi-circle. The only person on the other side of the table is Cas, who pulls a chair to sit and looks up at them, face carefully arranged.

“It's her name in those, right?”

Dean grants her as much with a nod, passing the cover to Sam and pointing at the calligraphy Jack couldn't decipher. Claire extends a finger to Jack benefit, tracing on the air the shape of Mary's name in the cursive, each time ending with a few starts at the upper corner.

“Look at the date. It was...”

“Ten years before having me.” Dean's lips tug farther into his cheeks. “A gift from her mother. Not all of them, of course. For what I know, she collected them. Dad gave her a few, she bought others. I think she even worked on a few cases were they would give her the vinyls as an especial thanks, you know?”

“Dean, how is this even possible?” The cover ends up on Claire's hand, Sam shuffling through the box while Dean whispers the name of each singer or band. “I thought Dad had burned them!”

There's a pause Jack feels in his throat.

And on his shoulder, when Sam grips him tighter for a second.

What Dean feels, he doesn't say. Jack watches his smile banish, a thumb stroking the side of a water damaged cover. Dean is standing apart, gazing at the records with both longing and a spark of what could be bitterness.

While Claire doesn't talks, she leans closer to Jack, mouth moving silently to repeat the name and words Dean just told. She's been taking classes with Dean on how to speak Spanish.

Three months ago, Jody called saying she had gone alone on a work south the border. Jack stayed behind with Sam working on a werewolf case with Garth. Cas and Dean returned maybe a week after.

Claire told him about how things were over there. She described the way a nest of vampires were faking to be coyotes*¹; they promised desperate families of immigrants a way to enter the country, put them all on a truck and–

Claire started her classes that weekend. Moved her things to the bunker, stayed late at night watching reruns of movies from the Mexican gold age of cinema with Dean. Cas told him, that what they saw there– no one should be living or dying like that.

They were lucky Cas had his powers.

Jack remembers the silence of that night, when Cas and Dean arrived holding Claire. She was shaking so bad it took the whole night for her nerves to calm down.

It took Dean just a bottle to lose his.

“There were kids, Cas! There were fucking kids”

That silence was not like this one.

That silence was sharp, rage and indignation turning into resolution.

This silence is bended, a blade broken by grief and the impossibility to turn back time.

“Bobby replaced them at the last minute.”

Jack comes back to reality to the sound of Dean talking softly, running a hand on the cover now and flipping it a couple of times. When he extracts the vinyl, he frowns at the dust and shakes his head. He hands it to Cas to hold while he crosses the room and takes a kit that was hidden under the map table.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

Jody's voice rings over Sam's through the halls of the bunker. Claire pulls Jack by the sleeve, rushing him to the kitchen to help her with the cake.

He suspects it's also because Dean wouldn't want to talk about it with both on them there.

⠀>⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ <

Dean returns to the room with the cleaning kit, accepting blindly the record from Cas before spraying it whole with the bottle on his hand. He stretches the cloth over the surface of the table, pressing slightly the record to it, both sides, a couple of times.

“Would you have shut up about it, Sammy? Tell me you wouldn't have screamed it to dad's face in the middle of a shitty argument. Come on.”

John hated them; each painful reminder of his dead wife, of the culture she belonged to, of the years of laughter and compass moving feet on the floor of their not-longer-there house. Dean had ran through the waste yard, ran and ran and slammed open Bobby's door with his shoulder.

He had faked being upset so he wouldn't have to stand in front of the pyre of falsehood. Ran his fingers through the covers a million times, ordering them on the box before finally putting them behind Bobby's shoebox, closing the closet.

He found them there when he went to pick a couple of things after Bobby died. Cleaned, used, since Dean gave him permission to listen to them.

He couldn't–

He couldn't bare the thought of them wasting away over the years without someone to listen to them once in a while.

Until today, Dean had a strict regulation on when and how to listen to them.

He would only place them on the turntable when he was alone. Only danced to them when there was no one else, only sang to their melodies when he was on a good mood or at least just a sad one, not anger to be seen.

The last chance he got to do so was.......

The silence from Sam's part means he's still smarter than Dean. Ignoring the bait of a fight no one's really feeling, Sam observes how Dean cleans the record until it is shiny again. Then he tooks one from the box, takes the cloth from the table and the spray from Dean's hand and starts the process all over again.

“Would you like to listen to them?”

Dean looks up. Cas tilts his head at the distance, at the corner where the turntable sits.

“Do you–” Cas doesn't turn at him, but Dean sees the corner of his mouthy lift. Of course Cas knew what he was going to say. He's special like that. “Hey, avispa'o*². Any request for tonight?”

Sam scoffs at the Spanish bit.

“The one you're holding is a compilation.” Cas doesn't even have to actually insult him, santos*³. He's beyond it. “I'd like to listen to it.”

Dean doesn't add anything to it, neither in Spanish nor in English. Instead, he walks over to the turntable, thinking about what he's about to do.

Growing up, he knew Mary's favorite by heart. He'd often whistle them while working on the Impala or waiting on a hunt, a personal serenade he could tune into without even paying attention. He had written the names of the records on a paper before leaving Bobby's house, bought a cassette to burn the music on it and labeled with the name of a band John would never listen to. Repeated them even in his sleep, afraid his Spanish would rot and die one night, unable to stay alive when Mary was not.

Dean wouldn't stand to lose that part of himself.

Not that John ever cared.

By the time he was in high-school, Dean had swore he'd only sing those songs to his wife and kids, one day, in a house full of light and a garden. He imagined them on the shape of a stunning brunette waiting for him at night after a shift at the workshop, stubborn kids faking being asleep because they were waiting for him too.

He may not have them: the house, the wife, the kids, not even the garden.

What he does have is a kick-ass bunker with its own goddam telescope, a map table, a private library, enough rooms for a battalion, perfect water pressure and temperature, a collection of cars and bikes and a chess table no one uses.

He also has Sam, alive and well, breathing annoyance and fondness even when Dean has his back turned at him. He has Cas, staring at them from the table, patiently waiting for Dean to stop sulking, he's sure. He has Jack and Claire and Jody, if the footsteps he hears are any indication. He doesn't think the cake is ready, but then again, they'll have to wait.

When the needle touches the vinyl and it starts to spin, the gentle crack and rush of the sound floating through the air like the blankets he used to hide under when Mary was still alive...

The first notes of the guitars almost send him on his ass to the ground.

He swallows, forced and fast.

“Close your eyes, Dean. It's in your blood.”

Dean close his eyes when Los Panchos start to sing Bésame Mucho and absently, he realizes he's already moving to the rhythm of the song, his voice carrying easily the elongated syllables, even if he can't help but fail at singing perfectly in tune.

He moves and turns, not a faltering step between one beat and the other, when Dean opens his and Cas takes away his attention from the rest.

His eyes, blown wide, reflect effortlessly the lights from the lamps. They fall to Dean's steps, shy in a way Dean was not expecting. Either he's trying to commit the steps by memory to try and copy them or he's–

Fuck his life. He knows.

Dean smirks helplessly. Cas can understand every word, right. Son of a bitch has the babel course handled down, all the fucking crashing building.

And Cas knows he knows, so what?

He was lost the moment Jack came into the room with those vinyls, hands almost in reverence. Maybe not a wife– but an angel who lied siege on hell to rescue his soul (hell yes!), and two blond kids (currently working on that, he's still processing), and Jody there clapping with fresh laughter rolling down her tongue and onto the very walls of the bunker.

Dean flips Sam without looking, clearing his throat when the first violin notes of Madrigal play.

This time, he stops on the edge of the table, taking a hand to his invisible mariachi hat, resting it to his heart. And Dean sings. Louder. Clearly.

⠀

⠀Estando contigo me olvido de todo y de mí *⁴

⠀Parece que todo lo tengo teniéndote a ti

⠀Y no siento este mal que me agobia y que llevo conmigo

⠀Arruinando esta vida que tengo y no puedo vivir

⠀

⠀Eres luz que ilumina las noches en mi largo camino

⠀Y es por eso que frente al destino no quiero vivir

⠀

Claire actually gasps at the chorus, when Dean walks over to her and makes a gesture with his hand, first to her then to Jody. Mary used to do that, elegant gingers placing a phantom rose to Dean's hair, moving her head according to the lyrics to protect her eyes from the non-existing shine of his beauty turned a medal on his chest.

He sings, to Jody and Claire, softly verses that the ghost of Mary's voice carry with him. He sings to Jack and Sam, grinning now, chest so full he doesn't know if he's gonna be able to eat anything after.

And when the song changes again, he laughs at the way everyone is frozen, staring at him like he is nothing but a stranger

“It's a party,” he reminds them. “C'mere, Cas!”

Claire mutters something in Spanish that sounds suspiciously malicious, pushing Jack forward while Dean extends his hand to Cas and bows a little, pushing him up with him when Cas takes it and Dean retreats to a cleared space.

He positions Cas first and sends him a look to wait, before retreating and looking over to see Jody and Sam chuckling and gossiping in brand with every sappy romcom movie he has ever seen. Jack and Claire, on the other side of the table, are expecting his instructions, Jack looking fairly curious, totally oblivious to Claire intensity. He's not competing with her on this.

He's not. It's not a dancing competition.

“4/4 compass. Which means something like you move once with each beat, I think?”

Sam corrects him with a stupid “actually...”, gaining a frown from Cas because (Dean knows) he wanted to say it, but Sam beta him to it.

Nerds being nerds.

Dean shrugs, starting to move with Frenesí on the background. English version, perfect timing.

“Do these four steps first, okay? Go slow, watch the feet. I'll need you to relax and look pathetic because no one ever does it right at first try, or so I'd like to think. Jack, you guide, you're taller. Hand on the small of the back and– yes, Claire, exactly like that. See–”

He doesn't notice.

He blinks and misses the moment Cas takes him by the wrists, curling his fingers around Dean's as he starts to guide him.

In the back of his mind, he's danced with Cas a million times. Salsa, bachata, merengue, boleros, you name it, he has imagined how it'd feel to have Cas chest to chest, his hands on the hands of the other, legs swinging back and forth in an endless song.

Dean just knew, back then, always, that he wouldn't have to try so hard. Cas could– would– he does read his movements, stepping to the opposite direction of Dean. It's sloppy still, they are nervous, but the warm between erases any uncomfortable feelings.

Dean thinks they're taking a decision tonight (whatever that means, hell if he knows), while he guides Cas on a spin and recovers their balance, his tongue caught in the movement of almost whistling and commenting how, with a few sessions, Cas could be making a couple of girls or dudes faint at a club in the future.

Then wonders if the fucking decision just made him or if his brain went on total annihilation again.

Cas looks at him with a shy smile and without stopping —because Dean can't stop holding him, holding his breath, can't land from whatever plane of existence he is right now— Cas places a hand over the handprint of his shoulder.

“Dean–”

The song ends, replaced by a cha cha gha that reminds Dean they're not alone.

The frown Cas gives him when Dean let's him go is almost enough to press closer again.

“The cake,” he whispers, taking one step behind and nodding toward the table. Jody and Sam are gone, which means they were to retrieve it— the cake. “If you want to, later, we could–”

“Yes,” instantly, followed by a more careful, “Dean, yes. I'd like to dance some more.”

“Peachy,” Dean sees in the corner of his eyes that Jack and Claire are fighting over something. Feeling bold and stupid, he moves fast enough to startle Cas when the shallow touch of Dean's lips braces the top of Cas knuckles, another light bow, a silent promise. “I think I know what record I want to put next”.

⠀

Here's a video showing a couple dancing bolero

Here's the playlist of what Dean sings and dances to with Cas

Here's the translation of the Spanish bits of the fic:

*¹. Coyotes: people who worked down the border, helping people enter and get out of US. People pay coyotes to help them, but there's no way to be sure they'll be safe. Please research a bit more about this, since I can't actually explain it whole here.

*². Avispa'o: someone of quick wit or mind. Can be use as a compliment or ironically, making fun of someone for thinking they are smarter than the people around them; an smart-ass.

*³. Santos: it means "saints" and it's an expression, like "oh God", for example. It can convey many things, depending on the inflection.

*⁴. Here's the whole song in English:

⠀

“ Being with you,

⠀I forget about everything and about myself.

⠀It seems that I have everything, if I have you (with me)

⠀And I don’t feel this harm (pain) that overwhelms me

⠀and that I carry inside (of) me,

⠀ruining this life that I have and I cannot live.

⠀

⠀You are the light that enlightens the nights on my long road,

⠀and that's why (facing destiny) I don't want live.

⠀

⠀( chorus )

⠀A rose in your hair seems a star on the sky.

⠀And in the wind, it sound like an accent your musical voice.

⠀And it shines like a sparkle of light the medal on your neck

⠀at the tiniest movement of your body when you walk.

⠀

⠀At your side, I don't feel the hours that pass with time

⠀nor I remember that I carry on my chest a deadly injury.

⠀With you I don’t feel the sound of the rain and the wind,

⠀because i carry your love in my chest

⠀like a madrigal. ”

[gates-keeper]

Part 1: “Words of Affirmation” Destiel Quotes & Parallels

I’m sure someone’s done this before me and done it better, but I’m compiling a huge Destiel evidence docket for no reason. Anyone got any quotes to add?

Comments From Outside Characters

To Dean

Uriel: “He has this weakness. He likes you.” (4x10)

Balthazar: “You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” (6x17)

Hester: “The first time Castiel laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.” (7x21)

Meg: “He was your boyfriend first.” (7x23)

Charlie: “What about Castiel? He seems helpful. And dreamy.” (8x20)

Marie: “Although we do explore the nature of Destiel in Act 2.” (10x5)

Sam: “Shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” He then goes on to tease Dean with “Sastiel” which Dean takes negatively. (10x5)

Dean: “This Cas is looking at me weird.” Sam: “So like the real Cas then.” (15x14) 

To Castiel

Hannah: “We gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over one man.” (9x22)

Metatron: “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love…with humanity.” (9x22)

Metatron: “Oh, that’s right. To save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but, ultimately, it was about saving one human, right?” (9x23)

Ishim: “I’m going to cure you of your human weakness [i.e. Dean]” (12x10)

The Empty: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love…There is nothing for you back there.” (13x4)

Demon: “I thought you were joined at the… (looks down) everything.” (14x01)

There are also several instances where other characters try to poke at insecurities regarding their relationship.

Naomi: “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way.” (8x19)

Casifer: “There comes a time when every relationship has run its course.” (11x18)

Michael!Dean: “You only tolerate the angel because you think you owe him, because he ‘gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.’ Or whatever.” (14x10)

Comments From Dean

To Cas

“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. And two, you are not going to die a virgin.” (5x03) 

“So what? I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” (5x03)

“You know what? Blow me, Cas.” (5x18)

“Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid.” (5x18)

“Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!” (8x07)

“We need you. I need you.” 

For more on this quote see the “We vs. I” section.

To Other Characters

Bobby: “I think maybe it’s time you made a call.” Dean: “Why does it always gotta be me that makes the call, huh? It’s not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude’s busy.” (Cas appears) Dean: “Get out of my ass.” Cas: “I was never in your… (head tilt)” (6x19)

“On my car…. He showed up naked… covered in bees.” (7x23)

While Cas suffered from some mental issues at the time, it seems somewhat significant that he sought Dean out under the circumstances, not Sam, etc.

“There’s things… people… feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.” (10x16)

“My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here” (12x12)

“He came into my room and he played me.” (12x19)

“Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—Mom’s gone.” (13x01)

Dean’s inability to list Cas’s death singles him out as the most devastating of the losses.

“We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back.” (13x01)

While some people have heard this as “bring ‘em back”, the Netflix captions and transcripts I have been able to find say “him.”

“And Cas bought it. And you know what it got him? It got him dead! Now you may be able to forget about that, but I can't!” (13x03)

“I have a family.” (In response to John Winchester lamenting Dean doesn’t have a wife and kids) (14x13)

Comments From Cas

To Dean

“I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt.” (4x16)

“I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it—all of it—for you.” (5x02)

“I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.” (5x18)

“I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call.” (6x21)

“So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord.” (6x22)

Before taking on the role of God, Cas seemed very concerned with Dean’s forgiveness/acceptance/love. It is interesting that, as God, that was the first thing he asked for, turning from Sam (who had just stabbed him) to Dean to ask for love.

“Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me.” (10x22)

“I love you. I love all of you.” (Arguably to the group, but the first “I love you” can be seen as Dean-specific, especially since it cuts to Dean after being said.) (12x12)

“You mean too much to me. To everything.” (12x9) (To Mary, Sam, and Dean. However, the camera immediately cuts to Dean specifically, even though he is in the back of the group).

“I’m your Huckleberry.” (13x06)

Cas love confession (15x18)

To Other Characters

“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” (6x03)

“I won’t hurt Dean.” (8x17)

This is said as Castiel is breaking away from Naomi’s mind control—mind control she fostered specifically by having Cas kill a thousand versions of Dean. This implies she knows that Cas’s strongest loyalty is to Dean, not Sam, or humans in general.

“The point is that they [Dean & Sam] were here at all and you got to know them, you -- When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.” (14x14)

“You know, Dean, he... he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.” (15x13)

Other Comments

Reaper: “How do I start looking for this... Castiel?” Bartholomew: “I got one word for you. Winchester.”

Rowena: “An Angel of the Lord, shattered at the altar of Winchester.”

Use of We vs. I

In the crypt scene in Season 8, Dean tells Cas, “We need you.” This is not enough to stop Cas’s actions. When the language switches to “I need you,” Cas drops the angel blade.

We can clearly see that Dean tries to put up barriers about how he really feels about Cas in his use of “We.” For example, after showing the audience many scenes of Dean, not Sam, frantically trying to call Cas, we get the following lines:

“So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us?”

“With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.”

It’s clear that these “we’s” are really “I’s”

In the alternate future presented in 15x9, Sam asks Dean, “What’s happened to you Dean… ever since…?” to which Dean responds, “Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we’ve ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy and I had to bury him in a Malak box… ever since then?” While he acknowledges Sam’s losses as well, his switch to “I” in reference to Cas implies that Cas’s loss belongs especially to him.

(Mostly) Verbal Parallels to Other Couples

In 1x01 (start at 2:27), Dean pulls Sam away from a dead Jess in a direct parallel to how Sam pulls Dean away from Cas in 12x23

Following Jessica’s death, Sam keeps seeing glimpses of her as he and Dean travel around in the Impala. Dean does the same in Season 8 following his return from Purgatory without Cas.

David from “Bloodlines” (9x20) tells his love interest, “I was there. Where were you?” which is the same thing Dean says to Cas in “The Man Who Would Be King” (6x20)

When asking Dean whether he’s in love with Cassie, Dean gives a similar response to what he will say in 10x5 when asked about Destiel.

Destiel is paralleled with their counterparts from the Supernatural play who are “a couple in real life” (10x5)

Cain compares himself to Dean in Season 10. He describes the significant kills of his life (The Knights of Hell, his wife Collette, and his brother Abel) and tells Dean that he will follow his same pattern by killing the King of Hell Crowley, Castiel, then Sam. It is also mentioned that all Collette asked of Cain was “to stop,” which is the same language Cas uses with Dean in 10x22.

Dean explains how his parents fell in love to prove his identity to Mary in 12x1, “He was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed.” Later in this same season (12x19), Dean gives Cas a homemade mixtape of his favorite Zeppelin songs.

Ishim fell in love with a human named Lily Sunder who ultimately left him for someone else. When trying to recruit Castiel, he compares Dean to her.

Dean questions how much of their life has been controlled by God. Cas states, “You asked, ‘What about all of this is real?’ We are.” (15x02) Later, they find out that God has been using Eileen to spy on the Winchesters. She says, “After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.” Sam kisses her, stating “I know that was real.” (15x09)

PART 2 “Physical Touch” Now Finished

[poohkeepsee]

I was going through my AO3 bookmarks, and I wanted to organize them a little bit. These are my Dean/Cas canon-ish fic recs.

season 5

canticles  by  2street2car Words: 10,311     Chapters: 1

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

FTBYAM MY BELOVED

post season 6

Someone Who's Feeling For Me  by  ellispark  Words: 45,876     Chapters: 1

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

post bunker

Sun Can't Set Until Nine  by  LeverDrift Words: 67,939     Chapters: 16

Cas moves into the bunker as his powers start to fail. Dean doesn’t know if the arrangement is as permanent as he wants it to be. He's also not sure why he keeps dreaming about his friend. All he knows is that he wants Cas to stay. Overall warnings: canon-typical miscommunication & Dean having self-hatred issues.

Life Skills  by  ilovehowyouletmefall           Words: 26,052     Chapters: 3

After Metatron steals Castiel's grace, and Cas comes to live in the bunker, Dean spends a lot of time with him, sharing all of his favourite things. Dean can't help it if sharing things with Cas just makes everything better. Besides, it's Dean's job as Cas' friend to introduce him to the joys of human life. To teach him how to be human.  And if one of the experiences they end up sharing is sex with women, well... that's just part of Dean's job as Cas' friend too, right? The desire is triangulated, the rituals are intricate.

Sam Stole My Boyfriend  by  sobsicles    Words: 8,445     Chapters: 1

“Dude, you’ve been staring at me a lot lately, like even enough that Sam noticed. More than usual. So, like, what’s up?” Dean pauses, purses his lips and reconsiders. “What did I do?”

Cas knows that would be a perfect time to confess to Dean what exactly happened and what he was thinking. Maybe, Dean had some insight into the situation or even some kind of comfort to offer. But, the longer that he sat there, he realized that he could not tell Dean absolutely anything. So instead, for the first time, Cas fumbled.

“Um,” Cas mutters and abruptly stands. “Freckles?”

Dean blinked up at him as Cas pivoted and left the room. There was only one remaining option he had and unfortunately, it involved Sam.

Aching in the Absence of You  by  sobsicles Words: 95,090     Chapters: 10

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back.

He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales.

"Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time.

By nightfall, Cas is gone.

'Communication'  by  JustAnotherSamlicker Words: 11,656

The same story told from two perspectives.

Dean bought a house and he and Cas fix it up.

Is Dean moving out? Is Cas moving in?

Should they just talk to each other already? (Yes they should)

Build a Home  by  domesticadventures Words: 20,102

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them.

He doesn't

season 10

The Most Important Thing  by  NorthernSparrow Words: 94,462     Chapters: 14

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

season 12

Heroes for Ghosts  by  pantheon_of_discord Words: 42,922     Chapters: 7

Canon-divergent from 12.08

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

season 13

i want to do with you (what spring does with cherry trees)  by  sobsicles   Words: 74,173     Chapters: 8

Dean keeps going back.

When he arrives, it's always to blooming flowers and a windmill in the background, not too far from a brook, the sun painting the plains.

He likes it there. He likes to stand in front of the makeshift urn and check that it's still where he put it, switching out the flowers when they wilt. He likes to listen to the sound of birds chirping, insects singing, the faint sound of water trickling in the distance. He likes to turn his face up and feel the sun on his skin, wondering if Cas would do the same if he were here, somehow knowing that he would.

He likes to talk.

There's never a response, but Dean feels the breeze rustle through his hair and watches the flowers bob when bees come to them and stares as the windmill keeps turning, turning, turning. And he imagines that Cas is replying—the windmill is the tilted head, the bobbing flowers are a gentle smile, the breeze is whatever words Dean wants to hear at the time.

Sometimes, it's almost like he's there.

Trial and Tribulations of Raising a Nephilim  by  Sickandtiredofyou Words: 14,910   Chapters: 6

Dean has far too much on his plate, losing his mom, his best friend and now being a single parent to a newborn nephilim.

In which Jack is an actual newborn instead of a teenager.

post season 13

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)  by  sobsicles           Words:     108,427     Chapters:     4

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next.

Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want."

"What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before."

"Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out."

"Easier said than done."

Reasons to read this:

Dean reads a story that ends like despair and his reaction is FUCK THAT

Cas wears Dean's hoodie

Jack is a toddler

The Jack and Claire sibling energy we deserve

Eileen being awesome and pulling pranks with Dean while Sam thinks she's an angel

Sam knows

YOUR HONOR THEY'RE IN LOVE

First Date  by  aeli_kindara Words: 8,968    Chapters: 1

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

Also known as the Dean Winchester makes the first move fic.

season 14

Broken Road  by  thegeminisage Words:     109,629     Chapters:     7

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end.

post season 15

fools and pilgrims  by  lagaudiere Words: 31,904     Chapters: 2

Claire shows up at the bunker a day before Dean was planning to leave, with her hair cut short and a fresh tattoo on her left arm under a bandage. Chuck is dead, Jack has given up his godlike powers, and Cas is back from the Empty, which doesn't make it any easier for Dean to talk to him. Suddenly finding himself in a world without monsters, supernatural forces, or any need for hunters, Dean's solution is to go on a road trip. Claire tags along.

Dean-Claire mirror fic post Despair

what's missing is found (our souls can exhale now)  by  sobsicles Words: 27,403

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

canon(?) au  (Hunters and Men of Letters)

Dean Winchester's Secret (Angel) Boyfriend  by  reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.

But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas...

Shot Through The Heart  by  peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean is a hunter.

Castiel is a Man of Letters.

And even though they have to work together on a regular basis, there is not much sympathy between them. Castiel thinks Dean too brash and reckless while Dean in return sees nothing more in the other man than a rude asshole with an obsessive love for books and a truly terrible fashion sense.

But fate clearly has a funny way of throwing those two together over and over again.

And somewhere along the way feelings change into something neither of them would have expected.

[synmorite]

Brat

Summary: Dean decides that Claire needs a lesson.

Pairing: Dean x Claire, implied Sam x Claire

Word Count: 1520

Warnings: 18+ only, language, oral sex (m & f receiving), unprotected p in v, rough sex, brief choking, cream pie, implied sloppy seconds

A/N: @negans-lucille-tblr She knows what she did. 👀 Or rather didn’t do.

~~~

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Claire?” Dean growled as he slammed the motel room door shut. “You couldn’t wait 30 fucking minutes for us to get there?!?”

“It was going to be too long, Dean! Who knows what those vamps could have done to that girl in 30 minutes!”

“So what? You just throw yourself to them too hoping they’d rather have you?!”

“I don’t know! Okay?!? I just knew she was in there and scared and alone. I’m a big girl, Dean. I can handle myself!”

Dean’s eyes went hard and he took a step forward. Claire recognized the sudden shift in him. This was no longer the protective Dean. This was the Dean that only came out when she was bad. Claire felt her panties start dampening at the thought of what was about to happen.

“Get on your knees, little girl.” He said in a low voice.

Claire dropped to her knees and opened her mouth as Dean unbuckled his belt.

Dean chuckled at the sight. “Seems you can be good sometimes. Are you gonna be my good little girl tonight?”

Claire nodded as her eyes trailed down to where his large hands were unzipping his jeans and pulling his cock out from his boxers. He was still only semi hard.

“Well, what’re you waiting for? Good girls don’t need to be told what to do, do they?”

Claire crawled forward on her knees and licked her lips as she gripped Dean’s dick and gave a few pumps. She looked up at him through her lashes as she licked from base to tip. His eyes darkened further as she swirled her tongue around his head. His length was hardening quickly as she continued to lick him and pump him. He growled as she sucked his tip between her pink lips.

“Enough of that.” Dean gripped her blond hair in his fist to hold her still while he shoved his cock down her throat. “Take it, little girl. You wanna act like a brat, then you’ll get treated like one.” She fought her body’s desire to gag around him and was able to get him into her throat. She swallowed and Dean groaned.

“That’s better.”

Claire rested her hands on his hips as he started to fuck into throat faster. Tears ran from the corners of her eyes and spit dribbled from her chin. Dean had his eyes closed as he grunted a little with each push into her warm, wet mouth.

He pulled himself away from her suddenly, and backed up a step leaving Claire to fall forward onto her hands and knees. He smirked at her.

“Strip and get on the bed.”

Claire tore off her jacket and shirt. Her jeans caught on her boots as she frantically tried to listen to his command. Once she successfully rid herself of all of her clothes, she turned her back to him and placed a knee on the bed. She leaned forward and placed her other knee on the bed, keeping her legs far apart to give him a view of her dripping pussy. She heard his breath hitch a little and smirked as she got to the center of the bed, turned around and flopped onto her back. She reached down and ran her fingers through her folds, and Dean pulled his own jacket, flannel and t-shirt off. She bit her bottom lip and gripped her breast with her other hand. Dean watched enraptured as her fingertips swirled around through her slick.

“So small, Claire. I don’t know how you ever fit me in that little pussy of yours.” Dean kicked his boots off and pulled his jeans and boxers down his thick bowlegs. Claire’s eyes followed his movements and watched his muscles shift under his skin with every motion.

“Please, Dean. Please fuck me.” Claire whined at him.

“Not yet, little girl. Don’t wanna break you.” He smirked at her. “Not yet anyway.”

He climbed onto the bed and leaned down over her. His lips hovered over hers as he whispered, “Not until I’ve had my fun with you.” He moved down over her body and captured one of her nipples with his mouth. He ran his tongue over her peak until it was hard. He pulled away and blew a cool breath over it causing it to stiffen even more.

“Please, please. Stop teasing. I need more!” Claire begged as Dean circled his finger around her nub.

“So fucking needy, aren’t ya, little girl?” Dean pushed his finger into her hole right as his lips sucked her clit into his warm mouth. She gasped as she tangled her fingers into Dean’s hair and pulled. He grunted and sucked harder. Claire started to squirm as the pressure of an orgasm built in her belly. Dean moved his arm over her hips to hold her in place. She came with a whine and felt herself clenching on Dean’s fingers. Her thighs shook around Dean’s head. He slowed his movements and pulled his mouth away from her as she panted, trying to get her breath back.

“Tell me what you want.” Dean growled.

“I want you to fuck me, Dean.” He smirked at her again as he pulled his fingers from her pussy and pressed them against her lips. She opened her mouth obediently, and licked her own juices from his hand. She saw him grasp his rock hard cock before lining himself up and sinking himself into her fully in one sharp thrust. She tensed as he stretched her out and squeezed her eyes shut. She felt Dean’s lips against her throat as he started to suck dark marks into her sensitive skin. Whispering into her ear, “Always so fucking tight, little girl. So wet and so warm and just so, fucking, tight.” He started to pull himself out from her heat slowly before slamming back in. She grunted and moved her legs up to notch at his hips. His pace was hard and unforgiving. Dean gripped under her shoulders and rolled suddenly, leaving Claire surprised and on top.

“Ride me.” Dean demanded. Claire placed her palms on Dean’s chest as she lifted and dropped onto his length. He reached so deep and she tilted her head back. She could feel another orgasm building and wanted Dean to lose control. Luckily, she knew exactly what to say to make him fuck her harder as punishment. “Oh, Daddy!” She whined out. With lightning speed, Dean reached out and gripped her throat. He held just tightly enough that her breathing was restricted, but not stopped.

“What have I told you about calling me that, brat?” He snapped. She felt herself yanked off of him and thrown onto the bed face down.

His hands gripped her hips hard, sure to leave bruises as he pushed himself back into her harshly.

“Do. Not. Call. Me. Daddy.” Every word was punctuated with a sharp snap of his hips against her ass. “Remember why, little girl?”

She nodded as her hands gripped the sheets.

“Use your words, brat.” He gave another sharp thrust that brushed against her sweet spot in just the right way.

She whimpered. “Because it re-reminds you o-of Castiel.” Claire barely managed to get the words out as he continued his assault on her pussy.

Dean thrust again so hard that Claire involuntarily moved up the bed. He reached around and pulled first one arm, and then the other behind her back. He used her wrists behind her to hold her in place. Each shove into her was hitting that sweet spot inside. The orgasm she felt building was fast approaching. Dean could feel her tightening around him so he reached his arms under her shoulders to yank her back to his chest as he rammed into her. He pressed his palm to her lower belly.

“I can feel myself, ya know. Every thrust, I can feel myself right here.” He said into her ear as he pushed harder on her belly with each thrust.

That pushed her over the edge and she screamed out as waves of pleasure overwhelmed her.

She was still cumming when Dean released his arms from around her and she fell forward. Pushing on her back until she was flat on the bed, he kept his hand between her shoulder blades. He pushed into her and started to throb. Groaning, he gave light thrusts as he continued to empty himself into her tight channel. Claire bit into the pillow as the sensations of his release sparked through her sensitive pussy pushing her into another, smaller orgasm.

Dean had barely pulled out of her before he walked into the bathroom and got into the shower. Claire rolled over onto her back and was still trying to catch her breath when the motel room door opened and Sam entered. A smirk formed as he gazed over Claire, noting the light sheen of sweat covering her skin, the bruises beginning to form on her hips, and his brother’s cum dripping from her abused hole.“Looks like it’s my turn.” He said as he shut the door.

Part 2- Still a Brat>>>

[norahastuff]

the unrequited love thing just bothers me so much. No-one had any issues seeing Cas/Hannah as a valid ship in the show when Cas wasn't even really interested in her. We've had a decade worth of romantic signals from Dean, but somehow destiel is unrequited. such a goddamn tragedy that they couldn't find their way back to each other one last time when that is their whole ~dynamic~

Yes, all of this. Exactly. Honestly, it’s been so frustrating to keep hearing the word unrequited thrown around so much lately. What about this dynamic has ever seemed unrequited? I’ve done this before but I’ve been really annoyed about it lately so should we make a list?

What about Dean feeling so personally betrayed by Cas in The Man Who Would Be King? Or Sam and Bobby walking on eggshells around Dean and taking care to very delicately approach bringing up the possibility of Cas doing something shady because they knew how hard Dean was going to take it? They knew it would be different for him than it would be for both of them.

Or how about Dean keeping Cas’ trenchcoat, and not only keeping it - he could have stashed it at Bobby’s or left it in the trunk of the Impala - but no he kept it with him, moved it from car to car. And this isn’t a last-minute development that they decided to throw into 7x17 when Cas returned, we see glimpses of the coat in other episodes before this, a consistent reminder that Dean’s carrying it around with him. That losing Cas is weighing on him.

How about Dean wondering why he could usually get over things but for some reason with Cas he couldn’t and he just didn’t know why. 

For that matter...do you think there is anybody else that Dean would forgive for hurting Sam? For betraying him? Sure Dean is mad at Cas but more than anything he wanted to fix things. Despite everything, he needed Cas to be a part of his life. 

How about that time Dean spent a year in purgatory looking for Cas, praying to him every night? In Dean’s mind, Sam is out there alone doing God knows what trying to get him back. I mean Sam didn’t, he’d let Dean go, but Dean assumed he was still looking. And yet Dean didn’t go back to Sam even though he could. He stayed for a year looking for Cas. Because he needed to. He needed him. Purgatory was pure remember? Dean had clarity there. He understood his wants, needs, and emotions.

Or you know just that one little thing about how Dean changed his own memories of what happened when he got separated from Cas because the thought of failing Cas was less painful than the idea that Cas would choose to stay in purgatory instead of leaving with him.

“We need you. I need you.” You know all about this one, I don’t need to say more.

The angels knowing exactly what would hurt Dean, knowing how much he cared about Cas and using that against him: 

“The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost!” 

“I know you’re hoping Castiel will return to you. I only wish that he felt the same way.”

Miriam: Bieber in there he can do almost anything. Dean: Anything? (and for the first time since Cas died we see Dean experience a moment of hope...and then...) Miriam: Oh sweetie, almost anything. Castiel he’s dead, all the way dead, because of you.

Dean staring wistfully at Cas through a Gas n Sip window for god knows how long. Actually you know what, that whole episode. 

Cas being Dean’s Colette. That’s not subtext. You can argue with the execution, but the parallel was spelled out. And actually for that matter in Chuck’s drafts or alternate futures/ timelines or whatever that he was showing Sam, Dean was the one who was broken after losing Cas to the Mark of Cain, Dean was the one who had to bury him in Ma’lak box. Dean was the one who had to stop him. So I mean not only was Cas Dean’s Colette, but Dean was Cas’ Colette too.

Dean reacting very differently than Sam to Cas’ decision to say yes to Lucifer. Dean’s worry. Dean desperately calling out to Cas over and over again to try reach him and get him to eject Lucifer. Dean resisting Amara for Cas. Lucifer and Amara being very surprised by this. Amara using Cas to try to get to Dean. 

Dean’s very different reactions to all things Cas in s12. This one would need it’s own post, but let’s just say there was a lot of focus on Dean and Cas in s12 and most of it was on how intensely Dean felt for Cas. 

Dean made him a Led Zeppelin mixtape. And then proceeded to get mad at himself for letting Cas use it to come into his room and play him. Which isn’t exactly what happened (though it sort of is) but that’s exactly what went down from Dean’s perspective, and that kind of move would only work if Dean truly cared about Cas. Going into someone’s room and playing on their feelings for you by using a romantic gift they gave you, only works if that person has feelings for you that can be played with.

12x23. Sam having to pull Dean away from Cas at the rift because Dean was intent on chasing after Cas. Dean falling to his knees by Cas’ body unable and unwilling to think about anything else and leaving Sam to face the nephilim. Sam knowing better than to even try to move Dean.

Widower arc. I would elaborate but do I need to?

And finally all of their arc in s15. No part of that was one sided. 

I actually can’t believe we have to keep having this conversation. Before it seemed like we kept having to somehow “prove” there was a romantic element to Dean and Cas’ relationship. Now that they have explicitly stated in canon that there is, the conversation seems to have shifted to how it’s one sided. Look I’m as frustrated as anyone that Dean didn’t get to say anything, but we never considered their relationship one sided before. That’s certainly not what I saw in the show.  Dude pines after his totes str8 bro friend who’s not into him is not a story I would have had any interest in. Looking at that long list above does it seem like it was one sided?

Whatever Cas felt for Dean, Dean felt it too. This has never seemed like a one sided narrative. Like you said just because the last page of the story was ripped out/wasn’t written (ie whatever you think went down) it doesn’t invalidate years upon years of consistent relationship building and emotional growth. Their story is incomplete not erased.

(And in relation to the Cas and Hannah of it all, a while back I did get curious and look that up, and you’re right. People had no problem with thinking of Cas and Hannah as romantic - when she was played by Erica Carroll. When Hannah returned in a male vessel, both Misha and the new actor Lee Majdoub played their relationship exactly the same way, the same heart eyes, the same gentle touches and soft spoken appreciation, but no one seemed to want to discuss Cas and Hannah’s romantic connection anymore. For reasons. Whatever could they be? I’m putting this in brackets though because I don’t have the sources on that and I have no intention of trawling through reddit/entertainment review sites/wherever I checked last time to find them. I do not have that in me. So there’s a chance I could be mistaken and people did discuss it, in which case I’d love to be proven wrong. Anyway that’s why this point is just at the end in brackets)

[rainbow-shine]

i'll never wear your broken crown, but in this twilight our choices seal our fate

An alternative s4 in where Dean has powers and that changes everything and nothing. Dedicated to @wormstacheangel and inspired by this headcanon.

It started with little things.

So little that Sam wouldn't have noticed them had it not been for the fact that he couldn't help but look at his brother like a hawk lately, partly to comfort himself that he had Dean back and partly to make sure his brother wouldn't find out about his extracurricular activities.

Dean doesn’t gets hurt anymore.

Sam felt his heart stop inside his chest when he entered the kitchen at Bobby's house and found Victor's ghost with his hand embedded in Dean's chest. With a swift movement Sam fired, the ghost disappeared and Dean fell to the ground.

Completely unharmed.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked either way. Dean gave him an unimpressed look before saying no.

The thing was, Sam had seen Olivia's corpse, had seen the corpses of the rest of the hunters. Right now Dean should be bleeding to death on the floor, his heart ripped from his chest, but instead he was just catching his breath like he'd just taken a good hit.

Sam, at that time, thought it was a fluke.

But it kept happening.

They had a dangerous job and the threat of the apocalypse only made the monsters worse, but Dean was always unharmed. Not a single mark stained his body and the times something or someone managed to hurt him, those wounds always disappeared in less than a day.

"You test him, right?" Sam whispered to Bobby, as soon as Dean went to buy something for dinner and Sam stayed with the excuse of researching something on a new book.

"Who?"

"Dean," Sam clarified. “After he was resurrected”.

"Of course I test him, Sam," Bobby hissed. “Do you think I'm stupid?”

"No, it's just…" Sam stopped speaking, realizing that his arguments at the moment would sound more like conspiracies. The fact that Dean was apparently untouchable wasn't exactly a bad thing.

"What?" Bobby asked sharply.

"Nothing," Sam replied, quickly coming up with an excuse. “It's just that I feel like there's something different about him”.

"Sam, your brother just came back from hell. Literal hell,” Bobby exclaimed slightly condescending. “His mind is trying to process a trauma that, as far as I know, no one has ever experienced. You can't expect him to be the same as before, because he won't be”.

"I know, Bobby."

"Then stop complaining".

So Sam stopped. After all, Dean was still Dean and the fact that nothing could hurt him was just one more reason for Sam to do everything he could so that nothing that could reach him.

•●•

The first time Dean went to sleep after being rescued from hell, in the uncomfortable but familiar couch in Bobby's house, he dreamed of a light.

A light so bright that he felt it might be able to melt his eyes out of his sockets, but at the same time it was warming a part of him that always seemed to be cold.

A light that was comforting and gentle. A light that meant love and salvation.

That night, in an abandoned barn in Illinois, Dean knew that he hadn't been dreaming at all.

•●•

When he was a kid and dad decided to start taking Dean on hunts, Sam used to kneel by his bedside and pray that god would keep his brother safe.

After Jess appeared nailed to the ceiling and their apartment was consumed by flames, Sam began to pray for forgiveness.

The day Dean was dragged to hell Sam stopped praying, because he knew that no one was listening to him.

But then Dean was saved. Dean was saved by an angel and Sam felt his faith restored. How he couldn’t have faith when an angel had achieved what he had been trying to do for months?

But apparently Sam Winchester couldn't have good things, because again his faith was destroyed and the angels, as Dean had said, were nothing more than dicks with wings.

The boy with the demon blood.

The curse Azazel left on him and the only chance they had to truly stop Lilith.

There was fear in Dean's eyes.

And that hurt so much more than anything the angels could have told him.

His powers were a curse, but he had stopped Samhain thanks to them. They may not have saved the seal, but an entire city was beginning their day with nothing to worry about thanks to them.

Sam was doing the right thing. He truly was.

It didn't matter that no one seemed to agree with him.

•●•

"Let me guess, you're here for the ‘I told you so’" Dean said, turning on the bench to look at the angel sitting next to him.

“No”.

“Well, good, cause I’m really not that interested”.

"I am not here to judge you, Dean." The angel's voice was surprisingly gentle and Dean tried to ignore the way the light from his halo suddenly looked alluring. Dean hadn't told anyone, not even Sam, what he could see.

Because Dean still wasn't entirely convinced that he hadn't gone crazy.

Big black wings curved slightly around both of them as they chatted and Dean, for a moment, stopped seeing Castiel, the righteous angel of the lord and only saw Cas, someone who looked as lost as Dean felt.

"I don't envy the weight that’s on your shoulders, Dean," Cas whispered. “I truly don’t”.

Then Cas leaned into him and Dean felt his mind short circuit for a second, because the angel clearly seemed to want a kiss. But no, Cas stopped an inch from touching his lips, simply watching him simultaneously with the blue eyes of his vessel and with the hundreds of curious eyes of his true form.

“What…?” Dean's question was interrupted by something coming from Cas' lips and colliding with his. Dean instinctively parted his lips and allowed Cas to give him whatever he wanted.

It wasn't liquid, but it wasn't a gas either. It was tasteless and Dean didn't feel it pass down his throat or vanish in his mouth. His heart raced and he felt… safe. Blessed.

As soon as it started it was over and by the time Dean managed to control his heartbeat, Cas had vanished and no one seemed to have witnessed what had happened.

•●•

Ruby didn't like Dean.

For many reasons, some more obvious or justifiable than others. But for the sake of the role Sam had to play, Ruby forced herself to cooperate with the older of the Winchesters.

But this was too much.

The mere presence of Dean made her feel like there were cockroaches crawling all over her body. His soul had taken on a new glow and Ruby didn't want to know what kind of things Dean was doing with his angel to have that kind of purity.

"I think there's something wrong with Dean," Sam confessed and Ruby could feel the fear making his voice shake or maybe the shaking came from the blood that was still running down her arm.

"What are you talking about?" Ruby asked sweetly, almost genuinely concerned. If it were up to her Dean would still be rotting in hell, but Sam was on his way of doing a miracle and Ruby felt that someone like that deserved all the happiness and satisfaction in the world. Even if it meant having to put up with Dean Winchester.

"He looks different," Sam said. "I think the angels are doing something to him. My brother would never have..."

"What?" Ruby prompted. "Would never have risked his life for an angel?"

"Well, no".

Ruby had a sudden epiphany that they weren't talking about Ana.

"Maybe the angels are… purifying him," Ruby suggested. "I mean, you know what he did when he was in hell".

The idea of ​​Dean, brave and kind Dean, torturing souls in hell and enjoying it was too funny to be true.

"It's something more than that".

"What do you think it is?"

"I don't know!"

Ruby thought that they had already wasted a lot of time talking about Dean, so she decided to silence Sam with a deep and dirty kiss, climbing onto his lap and thinking that heaven could purify Dean as much as they wanted, because she would see to it that Sam was more powerful than they could ever imagine.

•●•

The angels had taken his brother and Sam swore he was going to kill them as soon as he found them.

Wasn't it enough that they were manipulating and corrupting him, they also had to make him relive what happened in hell?

Dean had protected him from many things. Dean, his older brother, had taken it upon himself to give him a childhood that he never allowed himself to have. Dean had been in the front row of his school play. Dean had made him tomato rice soup whenever he got sick. Dean had put a wad of money and a cell phone in his bag when he had left for Stanford.

Dean had sold his soul to save him.

So now it was Sam's turn to save his older brother.

•●•

"For what it's worth," Cas murmured against his lips. Dean was shuddering with what could be fear or perhaps anticipation. "I would give anything not to have you do this".

•●•

Sam had killed Alistair and Dean was furious.

Hundreds of emotions were piling up in his mind and he wasn't able to understand how his brother could be so stupid to not see that his powers were changing him for the worse. Dean could feel that something was wrong with Sam and his little brother didn't seem to mind.

"I did it to save you!" Sam insisted, throwing his hands up as if Dean was going to lunge at him despite still being slightly dizzy from the hospital drugs. "I only used my powers to protect you when the angels couldn't!"

"Cas did the best he could."

"Really?" There was a note of hysteria in Sam's voice. "Are you going to defend him?"

"Sam..."

"He forced you to torture Alistair despite knowing what you did in hell!"

"He had no other choice!"

"He's using you!"

"But at least he has never lied to me!"

The lightbulb in the room exploded.

Both brothers froze and Dean could see that Sam was breathing heavily and refusing to meet his eyes.

"Sammy?"

"I'm going to get some air," was all Sam said before he practically ran out of the room.

Leaving Dean wondering if things between them would one day stop being so broken.

•●•

Dean's eyes glowed blue.

Angelic blue.

Sam had to save his brother before it was too late.

•●•

The first time Dean healed him, Sam felt like something inside him was burning.

It had been a hunt like any other. No seals threatening to break, no angels or demons. Just the two of them against an angry ghost, just like old times.

Except the ghost was really angry and by the time Dean managed to burn their bones, Sam had been thrown into several graves and several trees and he was sure the back of his head was bleeding.

"Sam!" Dean yelled, running up to him and gently laying him on the ground, with his head in his lap, examining the severity of the injury. Sam felt like a little kid again, feeling safe next to his big brother.

For a moment, there was no apocalypse or arguments. Just the warmth of his brother's body and gentle fingers running through his hair.

"Dean, I'm fine," Sam managed to say. "You know how much head injuries bleed. It's less serious than it seems".

"I know, Sammy".

And then Sam felt the soft strokes on his hair turn into flames and a gasp escaped from his throat. The pain lasted only a second and by the time Sam regained awareness of his surroundings, none of his injuries were still hurting.

"What did you do to me?" Sam hissed, pulling away from Dean and standing up quickly and nearly falling back to the ground from the wave of nausea that washed over him.

"I… I don't know." Dean looked as terrified as Sam felt. "I just wanted to make you feel better".

Dean wasn't normal anymore. Whatever the angels had done or were doing to him was changing his brother.

And Sam no longer knew if he could save him.

•●•

"What's happening to me, Cas?" Dean asked. Trying to convince himself that his little brother was safe and that even though Lilith had escaped, she at least hadn't made any deals with Sam.

"You're changing," was Cas' soft reply. "A metamorphosis, a revelation".

"Am I not human anymore?" Dean asked with his voice showing the terror he really felt.

"You're always going to be human, Dean," Cas reassured him. "Every saint, every messiah, was as human as you".

"I don't deserve this, Cas," Dean gasped, closing his eyes to avoid seeing Castiel, his wings and halo, his eyes and his light. He wasn’t worthy of witnessing the greatness of an angel, not this angel at least.

"Do you still think you don't deserve to be saved?" Cas whispered and Dean trembled slightly as he felt a warm hand gently touch his chin, forcing him to look up and open his eyes. Cas was looking at him so adoringly that Dean felt like he was going to combust in any minute. "Do you think you don't deserve to be loved?"

This is love? Dean almost asked, but instead he connected his lips to those of the angel in front of him and tried to ignore the way in which, for the first time since he had been dragged to hell, he felt pure.

•●•

Castiel couldn't keep doing this.

Heaven had lied to them. Castiel had delusionally believed that he was keeping Dean safe, that he was rendering him immune to demons, healing his wounds and protecting him from all danger.

When in reality Castiel had only been poisoning him.

Shame mingled with guilt within his grace. His wings were flapping as fast as they could, pulling him towards Dean. Trying to warn him about what heaven was planning. Trying to save him from the hell Castiel had condemned him to.

The angels found him first.

Castiel felt how his wings were imprisoned and how his entire being seemed to be consumed by the most absolute pain.

"Take him to Naomi," ordered one of his superiors. "Fix him as soon as possible".

The last thing Castiel felt was the bond he had begun to form with Dean being brutally ripped apart.

•●•

No demon could touch him and surprisingly that wasn't the strangest revelation Dean had that day.

No, the fact that the demon that tried to touch him in Jimmy Novak's house let out a scream of pain as he held onto his burned hand paled in comparison to everything else:

Seeing Sam, his baby brother, throw himself on a demon to drink her blood, broke his heart in a way that Dean couldn't even begin explain.

After that, seeing how Cas looked like his wings had been passed through a shredder while his true form's eyes seemed dull and unfocused only served to make his wounded heart surrender completely.

Dean was practically invincible, but right now, with the broken pieces of his heart trying to stick together, he felt more fragile than any glass.

•●•

Bobby wasn't having a good day.

No, that wasn't good enough, Bobby wasn't having a good life.

But this day was particularly bad.

No matter how much he wanted to ignore them, Bobby could still hear Sam's delirious screams. And to think that the boy who had entered his house years ago, hiding behind his older brother and observing everything with big eyes full of curiosity, was now going through a detoxification process for having consumed demon blood, was something that Bobby could hardly tolerate.

The fact that Dean was a mess didn't help much either.

Dean appeared to be a shadow, drowning in alcohol and carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Bobby wondered if there was something wrong with him too, for on more than one occasion the lights around him seemed to flicker and his eyes seemed to emit a strange light.

What had these two idjits gotten themselves into now?

•●•

Dean didn't know what else to do anymore.

"She's poison, Sam," Dean said, praying his brother saw reason. Sam just gave him a wry smile.

"What about Castiel?" Sam hissed and Dean instinctively took a step back. "Is he poison too, Dean?"

They had both lied to each other and here were the consequences.

"Cas is an angel," Dean replied. "He's just protecting me".

"What makes you different from me?" Sam asked. "Tell me, why are you allowed to be a freak and I'm not?"

"Sam that's not how things are..."

"Of course they are!" Sam yelled. "All my life I have been the freak of our family, I never fit in with you and dad, and I was ready to accept that I'm different from you, but it turns out that you are the same freak as me!"

"It's different and you know it, Sam," Dean tried to argue. "Cas never made me drink his blood, he never made me promises too good to be true, and he never made me addicted to anything".

"Why?" Sam asked, sounding exactly like the scared little kid who had believed that the monster under his bed was real. Dean felt his heart ache. "Why if we are both freaks I have to be the monster?"

"It's not too late, Sam," Dean pleaded. "We can still stop this. No angels and no demons, just you and me. Like before".

"I… I can't do that, Dean," Sam denied.

"Of course you can," Dean insisted, moving slowly toward Sam. "Say goodbye to Ruby, return with me to Bobby's house and we will find a way to end it all. I just want you to be okay, Sammy".

Sam's skin began to burn the moment Dean placed his hand on his arm.

No.

"Sammy?" Dean didn't recognize his own voice, he felt like his body had ceased to be his. A witness of his worst nightmares. A tear ran down his cheek. "Sammy, please".

The blow hurt less than the implications of what just happened.

•●•

It wasn't fair.

None of this was fair.

The place where Dean's hand had touched it still hurt. A reminder of what he had sacrificed for the greater good. A mockery of what he had lost by trying to be a hero.

But he couldn't stop, not now that he was so close to ending it all. Not when it was only a matter of hours before Lilith tried to break the final seal.

Ruby's presence was a comfort with the same intensity as a punishment, because Dean hadn't trusted him the way she did, but still Sam wanted the presence of his older brother.

That part of him that had believed for years that his older brother was a superhero right now wanted to run up to his brother and beg for forgiveness.

But Sam was no longer a child and his brother had made a decision.

It was time for Sam to made his, too.

•●•

The angels had kidnapped him. There was no other way to describe what they had done to him, but Dean had made a promise and he planned to keep it. So he stayed there and listened to what the angels told him.

But the moment Zacharias leaned toward him, his movements clinical and expressionless in a way Cas' had never been, Dean couldn't resist the urge to seal his lips, lower his gaze, and take several steps back.

"Dean," Zacharias sighed, as if Dean was a little kid who didn't want to eat his vegetables.

"No," Dean refused and before he could regret it he added. "I want Castiel to do it".

The expression on Cas' face was heartbroken.

"Very well," Zacharias agreed, before ordering Cas to come over to him.

With Cas' lips so close to his and with the warmth of what he now knew was grace enveloping his body, Dean wondered if Sam had been right and Cas had been poisoning him too.

Perhaps both of them had poisoned each other.

"You're almost ready," Zacharias marveled when Cas broke away from him. "Everything will go according to plan".

Dean wasn't so sure about that anymore.

•●•

"Sam," Ruby said, her dark eyes showing a panic Sam never remembered seeing. "Time is running out, are you going to do it or not?"

With Dean's voice telling him that he was a monster echoing in his head, Sam knew he really had no other choice.

•●•

"You know what's real?" Dean asked and didn't wait for an answer before grabbing the lapels of Cas' trenchcoat and slamming his lips against his.

Cas seemed to freeze for a moment before reciprocating the kiss with intensity. His black wings curved around both of them and Dean felt the heat of his halo brushing against his hair. Invisible hands caressed his skin and hundreds of eyes watched him adoringly.

"This is real," Dean gasped as they parted. "This, us, people, families— that's real. You're gonna watch them all burn, Cas?"

"What would you have me do, Dean?" Cas whispered. His wings trembling slightly.

"Get me to Sam," Dean said. "We can stop this before it's too late".

"I do that, we will all be hunted," Cas replied. "We'll all be killed".

"If there is anything worth dying for... this is it" was all Dean could say.

Dean barely had time to react before he was being pushed into one of the walls and kissed desperately. Dean raised his hands to tangle them in Cas' hair and parted his lips the moment he felt Cas' tongue touch his lower lip.

His body accepted Cas' grace with ease.

"We have to find Sam, we have to stop him from killing Lilith," Cas told him when they parted.

"Why?" Dean asked, feeling a little dizzy. "Lilith is going to break the final seal".

"Lilith is the final seal," Cas said. "She dies; the end begins".

•●•

Sam had never felt a power like this.

It was all about to end and he could finally have the life he deserved. His nightmare would end and everything Azazel had planned would be in vain. Sam would use the powers that hell had given him for good. He would use the demon blood that ran through his veins to prevent the apocalypse.

And maybe, when things finally ended, Sam could apologize to Dean and all of this would be nothing more than a bad memory.

Lilith was smiling and Sam was eager to erase that smile once and for all.

Finally, everything was about to end.

•●•

Castiel was committing treason.

He didn't even think twice before vanishing Zacharias and carrying Dean as quickly as his wings allowed him to the house of the prophet of the lord. It was the only chance they had to find Sam and stop the apocalypse before it started.

"You guys aren't supposed to be there," said the prophet, frowning. "You're not in this story".

"Yeah, well..." Castiel said. "We're making it up as we go".

Castiel then took a moment to look at Dean, his soul shining as bright as the sun and cradling his grace as if he never wanted to be without it. Castiel felt a wave of affection for the human he had rescued from hell, for the man who had kissed his lips like a lover.

He sensed the archangel's presence long before he appeared and Castiel knew that they had run out of time.

Regardless of whether the prophet was watching them, Castiel pulled Dean to share a heavy kiss. A kiss of regret for lost time. A goodbye kiss.

"I'll hold him off!" Castiel gasped against Dean's lips, allowing most of his grace to flow to him. If Castiel couldn't protect him, at least he would make sure his grace did. "I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!"

Dean connected their lips one last time.

"Good luck".

In the end, Dean had been right. This was something worth dying for.

•●•

He had been too late.

•●•

"I was the best of all those sons of bitches!" Ruby yelled, a maniacal smile curving her lips. "The most loyal!"

Sam had stopped listening to her, just staring in horror at what he had done.

This is not how things are supposed to be. This shouldn't have been the end of this. He had made a stupid mistake, he had been arrogant and he had been naive. Sam had only wanted to protect the world; he had only wanted to take some of the burden off his brother's shoulders.

Sam, for once in his life, had just wanted to do something right.

"You're too late," Ruby scoffed and Sam felt like he might start crying when he saw his big brother.

"I don't care," Dean hissed and Sam could only watch paralyzed as Dean placed his hand on Ruby's forehead and she started screaming, her eyes on fire and the demonic essence of her fading.

"I'm sorry," Sam sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Dean".

Dean couldn't even look him in the eye.

"We have to get out of here," was all Dean said. "Let's go, Sam".

"Dean," Sam gasped. "He's coming".

Dean ignored him, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the exit.

For the first time in months, Dean's touch was no longer uncomfortable.

•●•

The apocalypse had begun.

[canyouimaginethatstory]

Team Free Will X Reader #16 (REQUESTED)

This was requested by winchesterbabe4lie

Since finding out the truth about Chuck and then making the diety so angry he starts to kill worlds. He also decided to throw you and the boys into different "stories" the one you were in right now. An actual zombie apocalypse. Actual flesh eating zombies. And to add even more hardship onto you guys he made Castiel and any other earth bound angels completely human. So no one was safe. You, Sam, Castiel, and Dean offered to go in search of supplies. There was a town not too far away. Maybe there were still salvageables there. You guys packed into an old pick up Dean had restored. He had no choice after Baby was destroyed beyond repair. You were hoping to find food to feed your group for at least a week or two. The group consisted of Sam, Dean, you, Bobby, Castiel, and a few others. You guys rolled into the small town about an hour later and managed to find a little store. "Think there's anything left?" you asked Sam as he helped you out of the back of the truck.

"Hope so," he said, "small town so it probably emptied when it all started so we might get lucky,". You nodded as Dean handed everyone a gun.

"Me and Y/N will search inside," he informed, "Sammy you take lookout on top of the truck. Cas watch his back from the ground,". You all nodded as you and Dean headed inside. An hour later you had managed to find some gallons of water and some canned goods.

"Looks like this is about it," you told Dean.

"Yep," I got the water," he said, "you got the cans,". You nodded. You stacked the can into an intact box and headed out of the store behind Dean. Neither of you had noticed the zombie stumbling from behind the corner of the store until it tackled you causing you to fall and spill cans everywhere. You screamed grabbing the attention of all three men.

"Y/N!" they called as Dean aimed his gun and shot the creature straight through his head.

"Are you ok Y/N?" Sam said running to you and helping you up.

"I'm ok," you hissed, "my side hurts,". Castiel walked over and gently lifted your shirt. All their eyes widened when they saw the bite mark.

"We need to get her back to the site," Dean said as they hurried for the car you in Dean's arms.

"You should just leave me here Dean," you argued.

"Not happening," he said. As soon as they got you in the front seat of the truck they were off. They got back to the campsite and Sam carried you bridal style into the nearest house.

"It's gonna be ok," he told you sitting on a couch gently.

"Sam we both know how this ends," you told him. You knew once someone was bit that was it. There is no saving you. Sam held tears back as Dean and Castiel came in followed by Jack.

"Is she ok?" they heard Bobby ask as he walked in.

"She was bit Bobby," Dean said as he turned to Jack, "go get Rowena,". Jack nodded and hurried off. A few minutes later the boys were standing outside as Rowena examined you. When she walked out Dean looked at her with hopeful eyes. She could only offer a frown as she shook her head.

"There has to be a way Rowena," Dean said.

"Dean, I'm sorry but there isn't," she said, "the best I can do is a herb mixture for pain,". Dean sighed running his hand through his hair. "You boys need to say your goodbyes," she said before walking off. The boys just stood there for a moment.

"We don't have much time," Sam said, "let's go in and spend it with her while we can,". When they walked in and saw you their hearts broke. You were pale. You looked so tired. They could tell you felt weak.

"Hey guys," you greeted with a small smile.

"Hey Y/N," Sam said as they all gathered around you. Sam kneeled down in front of you, "how are you feeling?".

"I've felt better," you replied, "a little cold,". Dean grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and threw it over you.

"Y/N we'll find," Dean started but you cut him off.

"Dean we all know there is no way," you told him through a weak cough, "once bitten it's a matter of time,".

"Y/N we have to try," Dean argued.

"Dean stop," you said taking a breath, "there is no use wasting time we don't have. It's my time Dean. I know it's hard but we have to accept it,".

"It's just hard to accept to it," Jack said. You smiled.

"I know Jack," you said looking at the four men you've come to love as family, "I love you all so much. You've been my family for as long as can remember. I want you to promise me you won't give up and you give Chuck hell the minute you get the chance,". They all nodded in promise. "I love you all so much," you told them once again coughing more as you grabbed your gun.

"One of us can," Sam started but you shook your head.

"No Sam," you said, "I won't have any of you living with that. I have to do it,". Everyone was silent as the tears in your friends' eyes broke your heart. You took a deeper breath. It was getting harder to catch it. "You should go guys,". You said tears building in your eyes at thought of never seeing them again. One by one they said a final goodbye. Jack hugged you and you kisses his cheek. "Don't ever let anyone tell who or what you are Jack," you told him and he nodded.

Sam gave you a gentle bear hug as he kissed the top of your head. Neither of you said anything. Castiel walked up to you and you took his hand. "Human or not Cas you are the true definition of an angel," you said. He nodded. He didn't say anything he just pressed a gentle kiss to your hand. Lastly, Dean walked over to you.

"It's gonna be so empty around here without you," he told you. You smiled. "Dean, you have Sam, Cas, Jack, Bobby, and the others," you told him, "you'll be ok. Always a protector. My hero,". Dean ran his hand down his face to wipe away stray tears. He leaned forward pressing his lips to your forehead. "Never stop fighting Dean, no matter what he throws at you," you told. He nodded. With that, you watched as they walked out of the house. They were all standing at the bottom of the steps when the gunshot rang out. Causing them to close their eyes and flinch. That night they stood there as they watched the fire consume your body. Neither of them fighting back the tears falling down their faces.

MASTER LIST: Here

PROMPT EVENT: Here

REQUEST INFO: Here

1K FOLLOWER WORD PROMPT EVENT: Here

[ambiguousdisorderken]

in your expert opinion what are some of the most destiel-heavy episodes of spn? i stopped watching around season 7 and have no interest in engaging w the plot of the show at all but i’m in the mood for some gay yearning ykwim

Hi anon! Thank you for reaching out to me about this, I’m, no-joke, very flattered. I’d seen a couple posts on this same question, very thorough and detailed lists on Destiel-centric episodes, but at the moment I cannot find any of them, that would’ve answered your request much faster. So, in advance, sorry, my reply is probably coming in extremely late, but I did write this from scratch, so yeah.

Even though storylines in SPN can be very shitty and hollow, I do feel that to get the full Destiel experience -that long-drawn yearning- one would have to watch the entirety of the show, even if Cas isn’t in the episode or if there’s no explicit mention of their relationship/bond because it gives you a better understanding of them as characters and of how their relationship affects the narrative.

Now, you mentioned you stopped around S7, which is completely understandable and justified given the Dick plot game was very weak and, in my opinion, annoying (so little Cas!). I’m going to start listing from S7 in case you want to refresh your SPN before jumping straight into unseen episodes. Also, since you mentioned no interest in the plot and are specifically craving those sweet crumbs of gay yearning, I’ll skip most one-sided / too subtle episodes and cut to the chase.

Lastly, I hate spoiling things, but you’ve probably seen it all on Tumblr. I tried to keep the episodes’ descriptions short, as it might come in useful. Stuck to key words, quotes and/or little comments.

 Season 7

7x01 – Meet the New Boss: Godstiel, sincere apology. Cas: “I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.”

7x02 – Hello, Cruel World: Mourning. Trench coat melancholy. The heart-wrenching eulogy: “Dumb son of a bitch.”

7x17 – The Born-Again Identity: Emmanuel!Cas, reunion, longing, hurt.

7x21 – Reading is Fundamental: Honey!Cas, hug, hurt, reunion, that painful SORRY (board game) scene.

7x23 – Survival of the Fittest: Honey!Cas, forgiveness, adorable, wified Cas. Dean hits us with: “Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" but also “I'd rather have you, cursed or not.”

Season 8 (this season is so good and Destiel is the driving motor of it, I swear. If you can, watch it complete.)

8x01 – We Need to Talk About Kevin: Dean in Purgatory looking for the angel.  Cas is referred to as “your [Dean’s] angel.”

8x02 – What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?: HUG!!!, Purgatory reunion, face touch, very romantic. Monster: “ You'll find your angel there.” //  Dean: “Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you.”

8x05 – Blood Brother: Cas vs. Benny cat fight lol. Dean: “Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

8x07 – A Little Slice of Kevin: Cas comes back from Purgatory, but before that Dean starts seeing him in places. Very tragic; hallucinating your dead significant other trope. Has That boner scene. Dean: “I did everything I could to get you out! EVERYTHING!” Cas helps Dean see what truly happened in Purgatory and not his self-altered memories. PACKED!

8x08 – Hunteri Heroici: Hilarious, romantic, intimate. Dean and Cas have an heart to heart. They actually communicate. Cas “I’ll watch over you.”

8x10 Torn and Frayed: They work a case together, and when I say heart eyes…

8x17 – Goodbye Stranger: THIS. EPISODE. Dean “I need you.”

8x19 – Taxi Driver: Separation. Naomi to Dean: "You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty; I only wish he felt the same way."

8x22 – Clip Show: Lack of trust, hurt, tense interactions. Romantic too (basically, Cas gets Dean an apology basket).

8x23 – Sacrifice: Meaningful conversation and a gay couple hit by Cupid parallel. Dean “So this is it? E.T goes home?"

 Season 9

9x01 – I think I’m Gonna Like it Here: Dean prays to Cas IN.A.CHAPEL. Worry, longing, separation. Dean “Please, man, I need you here.”

9x03 – I’m No Angel: Human!Cas and jealous!Dean.

9x06 – Heaven Can’t Wait: Human!Cas TEXT-BOOK LONGING. GAY AS FUCK. Gazing, touching, they even TALK (for real).

9x09 – Holy Terror: Adorable Cas, flirty vibes, happyish, funny. Cas: “Cas is back in town!”

9x10 – Road Trip: Cas comforts Dean, Cas and Crowley bitching at each other, overall protective!Cas.

9x18 – Metafiction. Cas finds out about the Mark of Cain.

9x21 – King of the Damned: Hug, strong boyfriends vibes.

9x22 – Stairway to Heaven: Cas gives up an entire army, for Dean. Metatron about Cas “He's in love………………………. with humanity.”

9x23  – Do You Believe in Miracles?: At this point, it’s canon stated that Cas will do anything and lose everything if that means saving Dean. Metatron to Cas “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?”

 Season 10

10x01 – Black: Demon!Dean and sick/brokenhearted Cas in a slutty robe missing his man.

10x03 – Soul Survivor: ICONIC. Angel on Demon action! Cas turns down Hannah because he’s too gay and in love. Intimate Deancas talk.

10x05 – Fan Fiction: No Cas, but Destiel references. 

10x09 – The Things We Left Behind: That.Lunch.Date. Deancas introduction to co-parenting.

10x14 – The Executioner’s Song: We get Daddy Murder aka Cain. This is a Pivotal episode to understand Dean’s character development. Plus, it has Deancas interactions.

10x16 – Paint It Black: No Cas, but Dean opens up in confessionary; repressed BISEXUAL AS FUCK.

10x18 – Book of the Damned: Charlie meets Cas. Gay energies everywhere. Cute domestic little scene.

10x20 – Angel Heart: PARENTING! Essential to understand Cas from this point forward.

10x22 – The Prisoner: Just… just watch it. One of THEE Destiel episodes.

10x23 – Brother’s Keeper: No Deancas interactions but it’s the finale, and I recommend watching it because next season takes off literally right from here. No time jumps.

 Season 11

11x02 – Form and Void: Could skip to the very end which is when Cas comes back.

11x03 – The Bad Seed: Cursed!Cas. Dean takes care of him, even wraps him in a blanket. He also cradles his face. Extreme Hurt/Comfort. Jacting joices rejoice.

11x10 – The Devil in the Details: Could skip but has Casifer in it. Interesting to see his dynamic with Dean.

11x18 – Hell’s Angel: Casifer. Dean "It? It's not an it, Sam, it's Cas!"

11x23 – Alpha and Omega: Huggg! Cas willing to go on a guaranteed suicide mission with Dean. Very tender and sad.

 Season 12

12x02 – Keep Calm and Carry On: ANOTHER HUG! Dean presents his boyfriend to his mom<3 Soft and romantic.

12x09 – First Blood: Reunion hug<3, Cas pining… as in he counts his every minute without Dean.

12x10 – Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Direct parallel with canon couple. Crystal-clear mutual affection. One of the best. Angel Ishim to Cas about Dean “I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own… by cutting it out.”

12x12 – Stuck in the Middle with You: A dying Cas confesses his love. “I love you. I love all of you.”

12x19 – The Future: We find out Dean gave Cas a MIXTAPE!!! Very romantic and full of yearning, also worry and what could be seen as a betrayal (ish…).

12x23 – All Along the Watch Tower: Hands down, one of the most distressing Destiel episodes. Cas dies.

 Season 13

13x01 – Lost and Found: This is the worst because you have Dean trying to assimilate Cas’ death. Core of Dean’s widow’s arc. Jack introduction, that’s their new kid.

13x02 – The Rising Son: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?).

13x03 – Patience: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?). Dean to Sam “He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!”

13x04 – The Big Empty: Continuation of widow’s arc and Cas wakes up in the Empty. The Empty to Cas: "I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." // Dean to Sam “I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.”

13x05 – Advanced Thanatology: Suicidal and hopeless Dean gets his win. Cas comes back. Gives me the chills.

13x06 – Tombstone: COWBOY BOYFRIENDS!

13x14 – Good Intentions: Happy and fun Destiel scene. So Very Married.

13x23 – Let The Good Times Roll: Season finale, Dean talks about retiring (plans include Cas of course) and just very nice to see them interact.

Season 14

14x03 – The Scar: Reunion.

14x08 – Byzantium: Deanand Cas dealing with their child’s death, then bringing him back by Cas making a deal with the Empty. IMPORTANT EPISODE.

14x09 – The Spear: Cas uses the royal We – married behavior.

14x10 – Nihilism: Dean is stuck in his own mind, and Cas and Sam try to bring him back. Cas “Please, you have to -- you have to try to remember, because the people in your life -- in your real life, out there -- we need you to come back.”

14x12 – Prophet and Loss: Dean gets his very own Dr. Sexy, aka Dr. Cas.

14x14 – Ouroboros: Basically another date (their kid tags along) and They TALK. Very intimate and established marriage vibes.

14x18 – Absence: Shits starts to go south. [ Dean: “Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- (points to Castiel) Then you're dead to me. (Castiel looks crushed after Dean says that).]

14x20 – Moriah: Tense and very upsetting. Relationship very damaged.

 Season 15 (I would advise watching the entire season because it relies heavily on Destiel. They’re the heart and the emotional motor leading the plot onwards.)

15x01 – Back and To The Future: Deancas’ in the aftermath of their kid’s death. Tension gets worse.

15x02 – Raising Hell: Tension rises, this is very intense. Cas “Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.”

15x03 – The Rupture: Breaking point ends in divorce.

15x06 – Golden Time: Painful phone call which speaks volumes about the current state of their relationship at the time. Also, good to see where they’re standing and how they’re coping.

15x08 – Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven: Strained relationship so obvious they’re offered couples’ therapy.

15x09 – The Trap: MASTERPIECE. Back to Purgatory. Can (and is) taken as Dean’s love confession (because it is). 

15x12 – Galaxy Brain: So married. Little domestic date, you can see LOVE written in their faces.

15x13 – Destiny’s Child: AU!Dean and Sam. Not a yearning episode per se, but AU!Dean? SO GAY.

15x17 – Unity: God reveals that the only act of free will in any universe he ever created has been Cas choosing Dean.

15x18 – Despair: Cas confesses his love to Dean.

[icefire149]

An Angel’s Vow

Chapter Ten - (Read on ao3 | Read from the beginning)

It didn't take long to get all the shopping bags in the house. With the heel of her boot, Claire held the front door open for Cas. She knew it was because of his angel powers, but she was still silently impressed by his carry-it-all-at-once-I'm-only-making-one-trip game.

Claire followed behind him with Jack in her arms. He was still deep asleep and his face was squished into her shoulder. His downy hair pressed against her neck. She kept a hand on his back while they went into the living room.

Cas unceremoniously dropped the bags in the center of the room. He turned and his eyes softened, falling on the sleeping nephilim. "I can put Jack to bed." He held his hands out.

Wordlessly, she passed Jack over, and watched Cas take a moment to study the baby’s sleeping face. A prickle of irritation made her want to snap, that she didn’t do anything to damage the kid, but she managed to keep it choked down. Cas murmured something to Jack’s temple, and then he left a soft kiss there. After that he promptly disappeared upstairs. A weird tight feeling circled through Claire’s chest. She suddenly felt very alone.

Trying to push that thought aside, Claire started poking through the bags until she found the one with school supplies. They somehow managed to fill an entire bag with pens, notebooks, post-it notes, and high-lighters. Now she had to find a place for it.

Claire brought that bag into the kitchen and stood there for a moment surveying the room. Eventually she decided to toss it onto the table. With a shrug, she figured the table would be where their hunter school would happen anyways.

When she circled back to the living room, Cas was already there and sorting the clothes. He glanced at her over his shoulder with furrowed eyebrows. “Did you take the notebooks? They’re not here.”

“I beat you to them. They’re in the kitchen,” she said pointing with her thumb over her shoulder.

Cas nodded, and went back to making two piles. The next bag he picked up made him pause. “Oh, this one’s yours.” He passed it over.

“Thanks,” Claire mumbled, biting the inside corner of her bottom lip. She rolled the plastic bag in her hands. Inside was the black bomber jacket with the blue stripe down the sleeves and the galaxy shirt Jack picked out. Some tiny part of her just couldn’t leave them behind.

Cas went back to sorting the clothes immediately. Sighing, Claire slowly made her way towards the staircase. She didn’t particularly want to help, but she did glance back at Cas again. The bottom step groaned under the weight of her foot. “Hey Cas?”

“Yes?” He looked up. The traffic-cone, orange sweater, that Claire dubbed an abomination, was in his hands.

“Where were you going to store your stuff upstairs: in the closet or the drawers? I don’t wanna get in the way while I’m borrowing the room.”

His gaze squished into an intense squint. “I hadn’t thought about that yet.” The corner of Claire’s mouth hooked into a small, amused smile. Cas continued, “I suppose though...that I should just repack everything into the bags again. Store them out of the way down here.”

“Why?” Claire’s eyebrows furrowed. “You have an entire bedroom.”

“Yes, but I gave it to you. I wouldn’t want to overstep.”

Her smile vanished. Claire crossed her arms. “I’m living out of a duffle bag and the backseat of my car. I’m not messing with the furniture in your room.”

Cas’ head turned to the side. “But you could unpack and use that space while you’re here.”

“Or you could put your shit away like a normal person, because it’s YOUR ROOM!”

Standing up straighter, Cas tossed the sweater aside on the couch. His stare never broke from Claire’s. “For all intents and purposes the room is yours. I already told you that I don’t need a bedroom.”

“And I thought you said that I was free to leave at any time!”

“You are. I don’t under-”

“NO. So I’m supposed to just pretend I don’t see the whole little family act?” Claire took her foot off the step. Her voice dripped with venom. “Is this whole ‘helping me be a better hunter’ thing just something to ease your conscious? You couldn’t run away from playing house this time….so why not try to make up for lost time?”

Claire shoved the plastic bag into Cas’ chest as hard as she could. Cas didn’t flinch. He didn’t speak either. The shine in his sad, blue eyes made her want to scream.

The next thing she was aware of, Claire was slamming her car door shut. Her hands trembled, and that pissed her off even more. Again and again, she slammed her hands into the steering wheel until her eyes were too blurry to see a damn thing.

-

Claire had no idea how much time had passed when she heard a light knock on the passenger side, front window, but the blanket of night was indicator enough that it had been a while. There was no point in looking, she knew who it was so instead she started wiping the remaining tears away with the palms of her hands.

The door creaked opened and Cas slid into the front seat. In with him came the wafting smell of hot food, and Claire’s stomach immediately growled. She finally turned to him, and Cas held a plate out to her in one hand and a covered container in the other.

She raised an eyebrow. “Did you bring me grilled cheese and…?”

“Creamy tomato soup.”

She took both, and got herself situated with the plate in her lap and the soup container in her hands. But  Claire stopped herself before digging in. She eyed the grilled cheese cautiously. Only one corner looked like it was auditioning to be a piece of charcoal. “Did...you cook? Like actually made this from scratch?”

“Yes.” He looked away, leaning his elbow on the door. “And the house is still standing.”

“Why did you cook when you know it’s a hazard?”

Cas sighed, and rolled his gaze back over to her. He held it for several moments before speaking. “Eat before your food gets cold. I can still remember how unpleasant that can be.”

Nodding, Claire started taking big mouthfuls of soup. They sat there like that in silence while she ate. Cas stared out the window lost in his own thoughts.

It wasn’t until Claire’s bites slowed down that Cas finally spoke. “I’m sorry.” Claire burst into a coughing fit. Her mouth had been full, and that was the last thing she was expecting from the angel.

He continued while eyeing her carefully. “I never meant to upset you. I’m in no way trying to force anything on you.” Cas turned away and leaned back in the chair. He stared at the ceiling above him.

“I know.” Claire’s voice was quiet. She put the empty soup container in the cup holder between the front seats and slid the crumb covered plate onto the dashboard. “Loo-”

“It surprised me….I surprised me..when I asked you to meet me out here. Giving away my secret location…”

“Why’d you do it then?” Claire ran her index finger across the side of the steering wheel. “You won’t even let the Winchesters near Jack.”

Cas shifted his whole body as much as he could in the front seat to face her. “I was scared when you said you were hunting alone. The feeling was overwhelming.”

“I’m not a child, Castiel.” Claire clenched her jaw. The embers of her anger were growing hotter again.

“I’m aware.” There was a low warning tone in his voice. “Don’t mistake or misshapen my fears. This isn’t about coddling you or...treating you like you’re incapable.” The tension eased in Claire’s jaw. He continued, “Those feelings mean…..your presence as well as your absence...they matter to me. You matter.”

Claire stared at him in disbelief. Her hands squirmed awkwardly in her lap. “So the teaching sessions…?”

“I haven’t lied. I want to help you, and I want to pass my knowledge along.” His head tilted just a bit. “Claire, I’ll never be able to repay you or...make anything right. I know that, but….this is something I can do. And selfishly...I’d like you to be the best.”

Claire’s lip twitched. “That’s...uh..a high bar.”

The corner of Cas’ mouth pulled into a small grin. “Honestly, I don’t think it is. Many hunters speak of Sam and Dean like they’re legendary. And….while I understand the reasons why….”

“They’re stumbling ass-backwards into everything,” Claire grinned.

“Unfortunately, yes.” Cas deadpanned. He shook his head. “The difference maker is knowledge and I have millennia of information.”

Claire’s gaze fell to her lap. She felt a myriad of emotions bouncing around her head. It made her chest feel tight. “So….this is about your guilty conscious.”

“No,” Cas frowned. “Um...uh, well, to a degree, yes. I’ll never forgive myself for the wrongs I’ve done, but my guilt isn’t why I care...or why I want to see you succeed at something that I hear you enjoy a lot.” That got Claire to glance back at him. “I see you as my friend and as my family. Just like Sam, and Jack, and Dean. And...things have been hectic since I last saw you. A part of me honestly called you here, because I missed you.”

“You did?” Her lip twitched.

He nodded. “Initially, I thought distance would be better. I didn’t think you’d want me around….” Cas glanced down at himself and sighed. “or to have to look at me.”

“Well that’s not the case,” Claire snapped. Cas looked at her startled. Her voice softened. “I thought I never wanted to see your face again….but then I’d hear through the grape vine that shit was going down...and I’d be waiting to hear from you.”

She crossed her arms and refused to look at Cas. “I figured that if Jody was on Sam and Dean’s goodbye list for the end then I was on yours, right? And then I’d get radio silence.” Claire paused. The pain in her voice didn’t hide well. “It sucks being disappointed all over again…”

“I’m so sorry. I-I…” Cas reached a hand out but stopped halfway between them. Looking away, he withdrew his hand. His next words tumbled out in a whisper. “Of course I would have called you….I wasn’t able to when things went….badly...I’m sorry. That’s a poor excuse.”

Claire rolled her gaze over to him. “Explain then.”

“Okay,” Cas nodded. “So...Dean was dealing with the mark of Cain.”

Claire raised an eyebrow. “That was a while ago.”

He sighed. “It was, but it’s where a lot of bad things started.”

“Okay. Continue.”

“It took a lot of effort to free him from the mark, and….he was resistant. Turns out he had good reason instinctually. Removing the mark also removed the bindings keeping the Darkness out of creation.”

“The Darkness? With a capital D…...Jody wasn’t kidding about that?” Claire stared at him incredulously.

“No, regrettably. Her name’s Amara, and….she’s God’s sister.”

“Yikes.”

Cas shook his head. “That doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

Claire turned in her seat, bending a leg and leaning her back into the door. “Sooo the mark broke and the Darkness was released. Nice going dumbass.”

“I know…...and it got worse.” Cas rolled his eyes. “The witch we had helping us with the spell-work, Rowena, she stole a very powerful book when the spell was complete and she….hit me with her magic.”

Claire sat up straighter. “Magic works on angels?”

“Yes, but luckily not perfectly,” he said very matter-of-fact. “She calls it her attack dog spell. And it makes the victim rabid until they drop dead with bloody eyes.”

“What….did it do to you?”

“I….I eventually broke through the rabid behavior, but I was still at the mercy of Rowena removing the spell completely. And she was persuaded to do so, but it did have lasting affects…” Cas wouldn’t meet Claire’s eye. He was carefully choosing his words. “The spell might have killed me in the long term, but it did dig deep into my being and shredded everything it touched. I’m grateful Sam and Dean were there for me during that time. The recovery was...longer than I would have liked.”

Claire nodded and ran a hand over her knee. “What happened with Amara?”

“Oh...yes. Amara.” Cas took a deep breath. “After that, Amara was the pressing issue. She took a personal interest in Dean as...he was the last bearer of the mark.”

“Gross.”

Rolling his eyes, Cas chose to ignore that. He continued, “We learned that it took Chuck….um, God – he likes to be called Chuck – and all the archangels to cage her away before.” Claire grimaced. “And there’s only two archangels left.”

“Okay, that’s a not so fun fact.”

“No. There’s nothing fun about that.” Cas shook his head. “And they’re both caged in Hell so….they weren’t exactly available.”

There was a quiet pause where Claire was still processing every bit of information Cas shared. She didn’t miss that he seemed to be growing uncomfortable. He was twitching and pulling at his coat sleeves. And then, it dawned on her. “You asshats freed the devil, didn’t you?”

Defensive, Cas argued, “We….I was trying to do what was best..for everyone.” Claire’s gaze narrowed. “Lucifer was our only option. We didn’t know where or who God was, and Sam was receiving visions as answers to his prayers. Sadly, we were being tricked.”

She nodded. “So, rip the band-aid off. How’d you do it?”

Cas frowned. “I….I couldn’t ask Sam to make that sacrifice again. Lucifer wanted to use him as a vessel again.”

“Again?” Claire coughed. Cas hummed in response. Claire continued, “We need to go back to that later. Keep going.”

“And Dean nee-the whole world needed Amara gone. To do that we needed Lucifer. So I said yes.”

Leaning forward, Claire dropped her face into her hands. “You let the devil walk around in my dad’s body. Your body.”

“I’m not infallible, Claire.”

“My dad would be spinning in his grave...if he had one.”

“Yeah….let’s not tell Jimmy about that. He would be rather upset.”

She lifted her head and stared at him oddly. “Last I checked Heaven doesn’t have cell service. How am I supposed to tell him anything?”

“That’s fair.” Cas shrugged. “These days I feel like anything is possible eventually. I’d like to be prepared.” Claire nodded. “Granted all you need is to send an angel with a note.”

Stunned, it took Claire a moment to speak. “If you weren’t hiding from Heaven...you could talk to my parents?”

“I could.” His voice came out softly. “If there’s anything you want me to pass along to them...let me know. One day I may be able to….or at the very least I might run into an angel I trust that could do that for you.”

Claire shifted her gaze so she was looking out the windshield instead. Quietly, she turned his words over and over again in her head. She was still processing when she gave him a small nod. After a few more minutes she was ready to push that information aside for a while. She turned back to Cas. “So if Lucifer was walking around in…..well, where were you?”

“Oh, um…” His gaze fell to his lap, guilty. “I agreed for him to possess me so...uh, I was right in here..as well. Only, he was in control and I had no way to overpower him.”

“You agreed to be trapped in your own mind?”

He still wouldn’t meet her eye. “Yes.” The silence stretched on long enough that Cas glanced up and saw that the last traces of Claire’s anger had cooled. She looked concerned, and between that and the guilt of his past mistakes, Castiel felt like his airway was being crushed.

“What….what happened next?”

“That’s where...it gets...uh, Dean...would call it fuzzy. I’m aware that he did pretend to be me, but that was short lived. He lost my car. He terrorized Heaven, and Hell. I’m told…..” Cas’ voice grew quieter. “-that Dean, Sam, and some of our tentative...allies..they put a lot of energy into reaching me so I could expel him.”

“Good,” Claire snapped. Cas’ looked at her quizzically. “What? I’d kick their asses if they didn’t fix your boneheaded dumbassery.”

His tone was sharp. “I did what I thought was necessary.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that it was stupid.”

“I know,” Cas barked. They both sat there in their frustration for a bit. “Eventually….Chuck came back and Amara tore Lucifer from me. Problem solved.”

Claire glared out the window. Her jaw was taut. “Don’t do that again.”

“I don’t intend to. It was vile.” Exasperated, Claire exhaled loudly. Cas continued, “Chuck and Amara came to an agreement and the world was fine again. Lucifer was free so I spent my time pursuing him.” He didn’t miss the shiver that Claire tried to hide. Softly, he added, “But there’s nothing to worry about anymore. He’s caged. He’s just a distant memory.”

They sat there in silence after that. Eyes closed, Claire leaned her head back against the glass of the window. “Thanks….for you know, telling me…”

“Thank you for...being understanding,” Cas said gently.

She opened her eyes. “Our lives are insane.”

“I’m sorry, I-”

“Don’t be.” Claire shook her head. “Things suck, but I’m glad I met Jody, and Alex, Sam and Dean.” Her eyes looked sad, but there was a soft smile fighting to stay on her face. “Jack...and you.”

Dumbfounded, Cas nodded. The emotions swelling in his chest felt inordinate. Her words meant more to him than he knew how to express.

“Whoa!” Claire flew forward, putting her hands on the dashboard and pressing her chest to the steering wheel. “Did you see that?”

Castiel tensed. “What?” He leaned forward, studying the view in front of them.

“The lights flickered. Like some kind of power surge.” She opened the car door. “Come on, let’s see what Jack did this time.”

Exhaling, Cas deflated in his seat for a moment. He knew what caused the electrical issue and it wasn’t Jack. Cas took another deep breath and composed himself. He swiftly got out of the car, taking the trash from dinner with him. Before Claire could open the house door, he paused, “Claire?”

She pivoted on her heels, turning around. “Yeah?”

Momentarily, he struggled to find the right words. He knew that he needed to get this out now. “All...um, all you need to do is ask.”

“What?” She looked at him like he grew several more heads.

“In the future...if you decide that you want me around more...or less. Just ask.”

Claire rolled her eyes, and pushed the front door open. “Yeah, yeah. I get it now.” Cas followed her into the house. She went to the staircase and paused on the bottom step again. Her eyes found his. “I’ll consider it when you start doing the same.” She went upstairs, leaving Cas confused in the living room.

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed): 

@nightandwine  @autumnapologist

[fandomstuff67]

Words of the Heart

I was just thinking about this idea and I wanted to write it. This fic takes place in a canondivergent world where Cas was rescued from the empty and Dean never died. This is the first time I’ve written from Claire’s perspective so I hope it turns out okay.

Word Count: 1.8k

As usual, read on Ao3 or below

Claire didn’t know why she was so nervous. This wasn’t as big a deal as she was making it out to be; everyone knew already. Jody, Donna, Kaia (obviously Kaia), Hell the whole town probably knew. So why she was pacing her room, scuffing the floor, and worrying her hands into knots, was beyond her. 

“Babe, it’s gonna be fine,” Kaia said from where she was sitting on Claire’s bed, watching her girlfriend wear a hole in the floor. 

“I know, I know,” Claire replied. And she did know, but still her heart was playing a staccato in her chest and sweat still laced her brow. She started biting at her lip, digging her teeth into the skin there until she tasted blood. 

Kaia sighed and stood up, taking Claire’s hands in her own and forcing their eyes to meet. “Alright, that’s it. You need to do something to take your mind off this.” 

Claire shook her head. “They’ll be here any minute.”

“You don’t have to tell you them, you know,” Kaia reminded her gently, giving her hands a squeeze.

“I want to,” Claire replied sternly. 

Kaia nodded and her hand moved to cup Claire’s cheek, she leaned into the touch. Kaia kissed her softly and then smiled. “It’ll be okay.” 

Claire hoped so. 

At that moment, there was a knock on the door. The sound reverberated through Claire’s body, pounding into her bones, shaking her to her core; she felt her heartbeat increase and she grasped at Kaia’s hand for one last bit of comfort.

 She took a deep breath, steeled herself, and then headed out to greet Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack. 

“Hey,” she said nonchalantly as she entered the room with Kaia trailing behind her. 

“Hey Claire,” Dean replied, a soft smile on his lips. 

“Hello,” Cas greeted her. 

“Hello,” Jack echoed Cas.

“Good to see you,” Sam said. “You too Kaia.” 

Kaia smiled tersely. Claire knew she still wasn’t entirely over what the Winchester’s had put her through. 

“Beers all around!” Jody’s voice came from the kitchen seconds before she entered the room, holding two beers in each hand. “Hey girls,” she said when she noticed Claire and Kaia. 

This was it; now or never. 

She let her eyes fall on Cas and he looked back at her with his sharp gaze, the gaze that was so unlike how her father’s used to be, yet somehow had become just as familiar, just as welcoming and loving and warm. 

“Uh, Cas,” Claire began, awkwardly. Cas blinked at her, telling her to continue. “Can I, uh, can I talk to you?” 

Cas smiled, it was a small thing, a light upturn of the corners of his mouth. “Of course.” 

“Cool, uh... cool,” she spun on her heel and headed back down the hall to her room. Kaia gave her a reassuring smile as she passed. 

Once Cas had entered her room, she shut the door and turned to face him, hardly even able to meet his eyes. 

“Is something wrong?” 

Of course that was Castiel’s first assumption and of course he couldn’t be more wrong. 

“No,” Claire replied, almost a little too quickly. “No,” she repeated, this time a little more controlled. “I just wanted to tell you something.” 

“Oh,” Cas said, his eyes lost some of their worry and Claire brushed past him to stand by her desk and fiddle with the edge of a notebook. 

“God this shouldn’t be as hard as it is,” she muttered in annoyance at the notebook.

She took in a sharp breath and then spun back to face Cas. He was staring at her in confusion and concern and Claire knew she had to just lay it out in the open. 

“Okay, so, uh. Well. I know you’re not my Dad,” she began. Cas shifted uncomfortably where he stood and Claire instantly regretted her word choice. “But, you... were a part of him, I guess, in a way, and since I can’t tell him, I thought... well, I just thought you were the next best option, and you did kind of become like a father to me, and I know you care so-” 

“Claire,” Cas interrupted, taking a step towards her. She looked up at him, swallowing nervously as his steady blue eyes met hers. “What’s this about?” 

Claire wanted to look away, but Castiel’s gaze had her glued to the spot. “Okay, well, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just gonna say it.” 

Cas nodded kindly. “Alright.” 

“I like girls.”

She’d said it. Just like that. It was out in the open. There was no taking it back. 

Cas’ eyes softened and a smile spread across his face. Without preamble, he pulled her into a hug and Claire stiffened before letting herself fall into his embrace. 

“I know,” Cas said into her hair. 

“What?” Claire asked in surprise. 

“I suspected, with Kaia and everything...” 

“She’s kind of my girlfriend,” Claire said proudly. 

Cas pulled away and the look he fixed her with so vividly reminded her of her father. “I’m proud of you.” 

Claire didn’t expect to cry. But those four words, coming out of Castiel’s mouth, the mouth her father had used to say grace and to kiss her goodnight and tell stories, they hit her too deeply that she couldn’t stop the tears. 

“Thank you,” she replied, voice wobbly. 

“Jimmy, your father,” Cas said, “he would be proud of you too.” 

“How do you know?” Claire asked. Her father had never really spoken about his thoughts on being queer, he’d taken his religion seriously, so seriously that he let an angel possess him. 

“When I...” Cas trailed off. 

“Possessed him,” Claire finished for him.

Cas nodded. “Yes. Like you said, I was a part of him. I could see his into his mind, see what he thought and what he believed, and he would have loved you, he did love you, just the way you are.” 

Claire sniffed, her eyes welling with so many tears she was forced to blink to clear them away. She found herself pushing her way back into Cas’ arms. 

“You know you can tell me anything,” Cas said. 

Claire nodded. She had known that. Cas had made it very clear when he’d found her again, tried to be a part of her life, and tried to earn her forgiveness for ruining her family. But she hadn’t truly believed it, until now. 

“I know.” 

“Can I tell you something?” Cas asked once they’d separated from their hug.

“Anything,” Claire replied. 

The most far away look came over Cas’ eyes, the faintest of smiles graced his lips, and when he looked at Claire there was something so earnest in the depths of his blue irises. 

“I’m in love with Dean.” 

Claire’s jaw dropped. She couldn’t say she was particularly surprised, every time she’d been around the two of them they seemed to never be able to take their eyes off each other. Really, she should have suspected. 

“That’s- wow.” 

“We’ve been together for a while now,” Cas said, and there was the flicker of a flame in his words, lit with love. 

“That’s awesome,” Claire replied, beaming at him. 

“It is,” Cas agreed. After a moment he looked at her and said, “you were really scared to tell me, why?” 

Claire looked at the ground, the laces of her shoes were suddenly very interesting. “You were an angel, I dunno, the Bible and stuff says what I’m feeling is wrong and I just thought - worried- that you’d... reject me.” 

Cas’ warm hands took ahold of Claire’s shoulders and she was forced to look up at him. “The Bible is wrong. People misinterpret many things, and a flaw in translation played a big part in the thought process that was invoked upon the world that being queer is wrong. Chuck -God- himself, was bisexual, did you know that?” 

Claire’s eyes widened in shock. “No.” 

Cas smiled. “Well, now you do. Nothing you’re feeling is wrong, Claire. It’s good, and being with Kaia clearly makes you happy, right?” 

“It does,” Claire agreed.

“Then it is anything but wrong.” Cas regarded her for a second before asking, “do you want me to tell Dean, or would you like to do that yourself?”

“You can tell him,” Claire replied. “You were the one that I really wanted to tell in person.”

“I’m happy that you told me.” Cas gave her shoulders a squeeze and then tilted his head towards the door. “Should we return to the others?” 

Claire nodded. “Yeah.” 

Cas led the way and Claire followed him back into the living room where Cas instantly sat down beside Dean and placed a kiss on his mouth. Dean grinned at him and slung his arm around Cas’ shoulders.  

Kaia stepped up beside her and let their hands meet. “It went well?” 

“Better than I could have imagined,” Claire replied. 

Later that night, after dinner, while Claire was helping Dean clean up, he leaned over to her as he handed her a dripping wet plate. 

“So, you and Kaia,” he said, eyebrows raised and a smirk on his lips. 

Claire blushed and shot back, “so, you and Cas.” 

Dean chuckled softly but nodded. “Yeah. I never thought we could- but yeah. Me and Cas.” 

“You look happy,” Claire commented. 

“We are,” Dean replied, a smile touching his eyes. 

“Me and Kaia are too.” 

“I’m proud of you for that, you know,” Dean said. 

Claire’s heart soared to hear those words coming from Dean. “Thanks.” 

“No, really. I know I haven’t always been the greatest towards you. A lot of that had to do with when I had the mark, but a lot of it was also just me. But I wanted you to know, that you’re killing it out there, kid. Doing better than I was at your age, anyway.” 

Claire glanced over at where Jack and Cas were talking on the couch in the next room and then back at Dean, who had followed her gaze. “I think you’re doing pretty well, now.” 

Dean grinned and Claire couldn’t help with smile with him. “Yeah, I am.” 

Claire paused in her drying to pull Dean into a hug. “Thanks, for everything.” 

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Dean said as he hugged Claire back. 

Claire reached behind Dean to scoop a handful of soap suds from the sink which she promptly flicked in Dean’s face when they pulled apart. 

“Hey!” Dean shouted indignantly. 

“It was getting too mushy in here,” Claire replied with a smirk. 

Dean rolled his eyes and flicked his own handful of soap suds at Claire which she tried to dodge, unsuccessfully. “Yeah, well, love does that to you.” 

Claire nodded mindlessly as she spared a look over at Kaia, who was laughing at something Jack had said. Her heart fluttered in her chest and when she picked up a cup to dry it off, she found that she knew exactly what Dean meant. 

Tag list (ask to be added or removed)

@anotherdowneyfan1 @tearsofgrace @quxxnxfhxll @rebelangel67 @professorerudite @adsdragonlover @wantstoflyafraidtofall @goblinwritergay @cassgetoutofmyass0907​ @nguyenxtrang @destielskygalaxypalace @im-your-huckle-berry

[mersuperwholocked-lowlife]

Kill Them

Word Count: 1,871

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury, Eldon Styne (mentioned), Reader

Pairings: Charlie Bradbury x Sister!Reader; Sam Winchester x Platonic!Reader; Dean Winchester x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: angst, death

A/N: Sorry it’s not that good, I just wanted to post once more before the new year!

A/N 2: I might write a part two???

Masterlist

“Charlie? It’s like 3 in the morning,” you groaned, sitting up in your bed as you heard the front door open.

“Hey, kid. Sam needs some help with something, I’ll call you in a bit to check in, okay?” she walked to your bed, leaning over as she kissed your forehead softly.

“How long are you gonna be gone for?” you asked.

“I don’t know yet. Stay here, keep your knife nearby, salt all the-” Charlie began.

“Salt all the entrances, I know,” you gave her a small smile as she grabbed her bag, waving to you as she walked out the door.

Your smile faded quickly, as worry began flooding through your mind. 

Something was going on with Dean, but you didn't know what. Charlie came back from Oz, and she was different. Everything seemed to be changing and everything was different, but everyone seemed to try and keep you out of it. Sam always tried to talk to you, and keep you in the loop, which you highly appreciated, but he still didn't tell you some of the stuff.

You tried to ignore the fear you felt for your sister. Some crazy family was after her and after you because of some magical book, but Sam burned the book. They were still after you. 

As the next few days went along, you began to grow more and more anxious. Charlie had only called you once, she stopped checking in every day. 

You paced around the hotel room nervously, debating whether or not to call her. Maybe she was on a hunt with Sam and Dean.

You shook your head, dialing Charlie’s number once again. After a few rings, it went to voicemail. You dialed Sam’s number, only for it to go to voicemail too. You finally decided to call Dean.

“Hey,” he picked up.

“Dean, can I talk to Charlie?” you asked.

He paused for a second before answering.

“Uhm, it’s Sam, sorry. Charlie’s busy right now, but I’ll tell her to call you as soon as she can,” he replied.

“What’s going on?” you ran your fingers through your hair.

“I’ll talk to you later, gotta go,” he quickly hung up before you could ask anything more.

---

It had been nearly a week, still receiving no calls from any of them. Worrying was something you were used to doing, after knowing the Winchesters for so long. 

You currently paced around the living room, calling Sam once again.

“(Y/N),” he quickly answered, breathing heavily.

“Sam. Where are you? Where is Charlie? I haven't talked to any of you in so long,” you began to scold him.

“I know, I’m so sorry,” he interrupted.

“I’m not done. Don’t you see the hundreds of missed calls you have? I haven't talked to my sister in so long. Just… tell me where you are. I’ll come to you,” you rubbed your head.

“Stay where you are. I promise you that Charlie will call you as soon as she can, okay?” Sam replied after a moment of silence.

“Sam, please,” you begged.

You were dangerously codependent on your older sister. But that's what happens when you lose your parents at such a young age. Charlie was all you had left. As much as you loved the Winchesters, you couldn't stand the thought of them pulling Charlie away from you.

“I gotta go, (Y/N),” he said softly.

“Sam, please-” you heard him hang up the phone as your eyes watered, clenching your jaw as you buried your face in your hands.

You held in your cries as your body began to shake.

---

You stood outside the bunker door, banging your fists harshly. 

It’s been too long. Sam hasn’t talked to you in three days, neither has Charlie.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here?” Sam jumped slightly, opening the door for you as you walked in, while he backed up.

“I am done messing around. I haven't talked to my sister in too long. Where is she,” you raised your voice.

“Shh, okay! Okay, I’ll take you to her now, okay? Just keep quiet, okay?” Sam said quickly, looking around cautiously.

He grabbed your arm, pulling you out of the bunker, before pausing, hearing his phone ring. His face immediately dropped into worry, getting a call from Castiel.

“What?” his face dropped as you felt your heart ache.

He backed away from you, lowering his voice.

“What do you mean she’s gone?” sharp tears immediately flooded your eyes as you heard Sam talking to Castiel.

“(Y/N)...” he put his phone down, looking at you nervously.

“What did you do, Sam?” your voice broke as you put your hands on your face, trying to control your breathing.

“Sam! Sam!” you heard Dean yell, running to you and Sam.

“What the hell is the creep saying about Charlie? About the book?!” you could see Dean’s veins popping out of his neck as he yelled at Sam.

“We… We were just trying to help you,” his voice broke.

“Is she dead,” you whispered.

“No, s-she’s not dead,” Sam stuttered, as he looked down, avoiding eye contact from you and Dean.

“She just… she ran away. She just needed some time alone,” Sam shook his head.

“Alone? I told you to drop it, Sam! And now you got Charlie involved,” Dean slammed his fist on the wall, as you jumped slightly.

“Will you please tell me what's going on?” your voice squeaked as you looked at Sam.

“Dean has the Mark of Cain. I-It’s hurting him, it’s changing him, and… Charlie was trying to help me. She was trying to help Dean,” Sam sniffled.

“Why didn't you tell me any of this?” you cried.

“Charlie didn't want you to know. She just wanted to keep you safe, (Y/N). S-She’s not dead… she’s gonna be okay,” Sam said, trying to assure himself more than you.

You looked at Dean, seeing dark bags under his eyes, his eyes bloodshot as he gave Sam a deadly look.

“That’s it. I’m grabbing Eldon and we’re going to find Charlie,” Dean seethed in anger as he continued looking at Sam.

Sam nodded his head softly, walking into the bunker, heading towards the dungeon.

“Who's Eldon?” you asked Dean.

“This psycho comes from this family, they’re after Charlie now,” Dean clenched his jaw.

“Dean… if Charlie’s dead,” your voice broke as you paused, shutting your eyes tightly.

“She’s not dead, she’s gonna be okay,” Dean said.

Before you spoke again, Sam ran to the two of you, his eyes red.

“He’s gone. Eldon’s gone.”

---

You sat in the backseat of the Impala nervously, anxiously watching your leg bounce as you took big breaths.

You heard your phone ring, getting a call from Charlie.

“Charlie? W-Where are you?” you quickly answered, putting your phone on speaker.

“I’m at a hotel, I’m sorry I didn't call you, it’s just-” she started.

“What hotel? There's someone coming after you-” you felt your heart breaking as you heard someone banging at her door.

“Dean-” your voice broke.

He tensed, clenching his jaw as he stepped on the gas, driving faster.

“Charlie, listen to me, just give them whatever they want, okay?” Dean yelled.

She paused before exhaling sharply.

“I’m sorry, Dean, I can’t do that,” she said.

“Charlie, please. T-They’re not…” you stuttered, finding it hard to say what you had to.

“I love you, kid. You’re the best sister I could ever ask for. It’s always been us, and I’m so happy to have had you with me,” her voice began to fade as you heard ringing throughout your ears, your tears streaming down your face.

“Why are you saying goodbye?” your voice broke.

“Stay safe, kid. I love you,” she sniffled.

“Charlie, no-” you heard the phone disconnect as Sam turned back to face you, giving you a pitiful look.

You looked away from him, crying softly as you leaned against the seat.

---

“Stay in the car-” Dean started, turning to you as you pushed past him, grabbing your gun as you ran into the hotel room, hearing Sam and Dean yelling behind you.

You looked at the broken door as you entered, seeing Charlie’s bag spilled on the ground, with a chair knocked over.

You ran to the bathroom, kicking the door open as you froze, gasping softly as your eyes widened.

The one sight you weren't prepared for, seeing your big sister’s dead body in front of you.

She laid in the bathtub, legs hanging out, a knife buried in her stomach as you began to hyperventilate.

“(Y/N), oh my god,” Sam gasped, looking down at Charlie.

You stumbled backward, holding in your cries as you felt the world around you begin to fade. Your head began throbbing, hearing ringing in your ears as your vision blurred, tears in your eyes.

You heard Dean calling for you softly, as he wrapped his arms around you. You buried your head in his chest, sobbing loudly as you gripped onto him tightly.

---

You stood there, frozen, in shock as Sam and Dean carried Charlie’s body. You watched her body burn as your eyes were bloodshot.

“Charlie, you were-” Sam began to speak.

“Shut up,” you spat.

You felt both of the Winchesters looking down at you.

“(Y/N), I-” Sam began.

“No. Shut up. You don’t get to say anything. You’re the reason she’s dead,” you clenched your jaw tightly as you looked forward, keeping your eyes off of Sam.

“I didn't mean to,” his voice was a whisper as you yelled at him once more.

“You never mean to. It’s not like she matters to either of you, right? The two of you only care about saving yourselves to give a fuck about anyone else,” you yelled.

“Charlie was like a sister to us,” Dean started.

“She was like a sister to you. She was my sister, Dean. She was everything to me. She raised me, she took care of me. And now she’s dead. All because she wanted to help you,” your voice wavered as you turned your back on them.

“(Y/N), please,” Sam put his hand on your shoulder, as you pushed away from him, immediately turning as you made a fist, punching him in the face.

“(Y/N),” Dean started.

“I said shut up, Dean. Don’t pretend to know what this feels like. Every time you lose Sam he comes back. Every time Sam loses you, you come back. Just because you’re some dumb Winchester doesn't mean that everyone else has to suffer losses,” you raised your voice, trying to hide your pain.

“I’m sorry about Charlie, I’m sorry for what we did, it’s all Sam’s fault, okay?!” Dean yelled at you.

You could see Sam’s eyes flooded with tears as he bit his lip, holding in cries as he looked at you.

“Don’t talk to me again. Don’t try to track me down, don’t try to call me or text me. Just stay the hell away from me,” you yelled at the two of them.

“So then what are you gonna do now?!” Dean yelled.

“I'm gonna kill them,” you said, turning your back as you walked away from them.

“I’m gonna kill all of them.”

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 10

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6; Season 7; Season 8; Season 9]

Episode 1:

Cas is slowly dying, practically naked, in a bed, and the first thing he says when talking about Dean is "I miss him" (6:35), with a soft smile. "Why would he just disappear?"

... I'm sorry but If Cas Were A Woman, this would look like a scene from a movie or something, where the wife talks to a friend over the phone about her missing husband. JUST SAYING

Crowley: "The girl seemed nice. Slightly damaged. I could see the old you falling for that." (9:29) uhm... who else is "nice and slightly" damaged? I don't know... CASTIEL??!!!

So... these two men (actors Todd Mann and Brad Mann) we see with the DemonGang, are real life twins (9:14).

At (27:18), Crowley states him and Dean did "extroardinary things to triplets" ... and, well, the only twins with a possible other sibling we see are... them

And this is not the first time we hear about Dean doing "things to triplets" with a buddy of his (15x07)... and the first time he was NOT a demon... so, there's that. And triplets don't necessarily mean "all females"

Cas, while talking about the good things that come with choices, mentions "hope, love, dreams" (39:06), and Hannah points out that "those are human things". Human things...

Cas is talking about his own personal experiences with creating chaos, so those are the things he felt after rebelling for... Dean... WOW. ICWAW, it would totally be read it as a reference to Dean. A romantic one. Fight me

Episode 2:

Cas is dying, just got back from a fight that left him wounded, doesn't have enough power to heal himself, is on a mission to restore Heaven, and once again he chooses to go save Dean (9:35), and the way rage builds in his eyes when learning Dean has become a demon. Look at this shit

I might be crazy, but this feels like a touching metaphor to me:

"I think you don't know what you want. Tell me, Dean. What are you? A demon? [...] Maybe you're human. [...] Why don't you do us all a great, big favor... and pick a bloody side!" (22:22)

METAPHOR

Episode 3:

We are reminded that, even tho in terrible conditions, on the verge of death, Cas is willing to risk it all to save Dean, and is devastated by the thought of Dean not making it (4:47 - 5:17)

This is so funny to me, I'm sorry, but Cas is so visibly uncomfortable with Hannah touching him, it's hilarious (15:58)

"I've been around humans for long enough to see how easily distractions occur. Emotions, feelings... They're dangerous temptations." (22:32) like rebelling against your own kind, destroying your home, falling... all for a human?

"I'm trying to keep our priorities clear." Moments earlier, Cas listed "Getting to Dean" (22:17) before anything else. In fact, Hannah says "I am very clear of my priorities... and yours." = Dean (23:00)

Cas is not sure whether the cure will kill Dean or not, and in any case, he wraps his arms around him, and softly says "It's over... Dean it's over." (35:40) as if hushing him to sleep, in what could have been their last moments together... wow. Think about this ICWAW

"Well, I can see his point. Only humans can feel real joy, but... also such profound pain. This is easier." (36:17) Look at the way Sam is looking at Cas looking at Dean

BITCH OKAY!!

SAM KNOWS

POSSIBILE future Empty reference "real joy"

Cas already stated he misses being human, but knows how fragile they are in both body and spirit:

Castiel really wants to be with Dean. For real. But maybe he thinks (see season 9) him being an angel is an obstacle to their feelings.

Only by being human he can truly be happy (MMMMMMHH SEASON 15), but isn't sure he could handle the pain that comes with it. A possible rejection, the thought of Dean dying, him leaving Dean... MMMMHHHHH

"You look terrible." [...] "Well, you, on the other hand, you... *checks out Cas* Looking good." (39:09) full homo right there. Also parallel with Ketch in 13x18 ("You don't look good." "Yeah, well, you're not my type, either.")

The way they are looking at each other here... man.

Cas is so happy to have Dean back, and Dean looks hurt about Cas leaving so soon.

"So... so, you're back?" "At least temporarily." (39:27) bitch, you know that's not what he ment.

In all of this, Cas is trying to make Dean feel better about the whole situation (DAT SMILE 40:18), and Dean replies with "I'm glad you're back, man.", basically no-homoing himself...

Cas starts walking out of the room, but stops and turns back [insert concerned husband here] (40:27), and Dean has that hopeful look in his eyes, like Cas is going to stay, and the hurtful look comes back as soon as Cas is gone

Episode 4:

"On your knees!" "Wow, I'm awfully flattered-" (34:33) SASSY BI DEAN IS THE DEAN WE DESERVE

Episode 5:

Fucking kill me NOW!!! Dean's reaction to Destiel is PRICELESS!! And even before he learns what that is, he just looks at the girls playing him and Cas and... freezes for a moment (13:18) And the eyebrow raise thingy at (13:34)... what's going on in your brain, Dean?

I'd like to point out that the Italian translation for "You can't spell 'subtext' without S-E-X" is, for once, AMAZING:

"It's just that... their bond is so strong it has subtext of a... sexual nature."

THANK YOU ITALIAN DUB! JUST THIS ONCE, THANK YOU! (13:43)

Also at (9:44) Dean immediately reacts to the implication of Wincest subtext, shutting it down and telling the girls to take a step back, but with Destiel he is like... alright

... this is so fucking cute, (25:54) Dean adjusts the girl playing Cas' tie so that it's messed up like the real Cas'. ADORABLE

SAM SHIPS IT (13:57) and is teasing the SHIT out of Dean, who reacts like someone being teased about their crush. Just saying (14:08 - 14:52) [AND THIS HAPPENS IN FRONT OF A PINK-BLUE WALL]

"I know I have expressed some differences of opinion regarding this version of Supernatural." (26:44) ... oookay meta? *turns to "Cas"* "And I want you to put as much sub into that text as you possibly can." ... oKAY?!

Episode 7:

Cas being extremely uncomfortable with women is too fucking funny to me (5:03 - 12:51)

Episode 9:

(15:13) Alright, so, this is a date... what now? Anyway, nice bi flannel, Dean. And the little sweet smiles you two are giving each other? So fucking precious (16:01)

"I ain't exactly a role model." "That's not true." (16:07) how Dean looks at Cas right after that? BABIES!

"How are you, Dean?" "Fine." "*I-call-bullshit look*" "I'm great!" "No, you're not." (16:18) #MARRIED

As Cas is choke-holding a guy, Dean, clearly amused (almost proudly), says "I'd do what he says." (22:17) Like that time with Raphael in 5x03, Dean likes it when Cas gets rough

Episode 10:

Shut the fuck up and marry each other already so you can finally actually BE the old married couple™️ you ALREADY ARE (22:17)

This is the "My husband is so FUCKING STUPID" look (22:30)

"I was hoping you might reach out to her." "... Me? I'm probably the last person she'd want to hear from." [...] "All I know... is she won't talk to me." (23:03) #MARRIED, PARENTS, PERIODT

Shut the fuck up. Cas is the dad trying to figure out technology (23:36) "I'll text you her number. I like texting. Emotions!" DAD

Cas worries about Dean like a wife would with an alcoholic husband

Of all the things Dean could be MAD about at Metateon... the first thing he can think of is him stealing Cas' grace (31:33) (okay, maybe he is going in chronological order but STILL)

Episode 11:

[I AM SO SO SO SORRY BUT DEAN USED THE ALIAS "PRESLEY" (18:55) I AM NOT OKAY]

Episode 14:

Have this deleted scene: Castiel and Crowley bitching over Dean, and Crowley calling Dean Cas' boyfriend

This is some hell of a goodbye-eye-love-making scene (26:57)

Cain compares himself to Dean... and CAS TO HIS WIFE COLLETTE [PARALLELS]

"You're living my life in reverse [...]

First you'd kill Crowley. You'd get it done, no remorse. (Cain had been killing his descendants, for whom he didn't care much)

And then you'd kill the angel, Castiel. Now, that one... that, I suspect, would hurt something awful. [And than Sam is Able, bla bla...]"

AM I WRONG?! YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG??!!!

Dean gives the First Blade to Cas... oKAY (37:10)

Worried brother-in-laws (41:27)

Episode 16:

This is such a good source of hidden meanings scene! Dean starts his "confession" as a scam. Everything he says at first is to attract the spirit.

He starts talking about seeing lots of women, not being able to control himself, and being sick of it. Then the real confession begins...

Dean feels he's going to die soon, and fears not death itself, but what he would be missing from his life.

"There's things... people, feelings that I... I would experience differently than I had before. Or even for the first time." (25:28) and the priest believes Dean is talking about love.

Well... "people, feelings"... who could he be referring to? Does Dean want love all of a sudden? People he wants to experience for the first time... uhmmmm... Is Dean opening up to his attraction to MEN??!! Or one angel in particular?

ICWAW we would guess Dean was talking about Cas

"Who mixes their blood and bones into paint? No woman has ever done that for me." (39:19) UHM- Dean, what about

6x20 "He has bled, died bla bla bla for us",

7x21 "I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters" or

9x22 "You just gave up an entire army for one guy"

ICWAW we would ALL roll our eyes at this statement and scream CAS

THE GUY BLED, LOST HIS HOME, REBELLED, DIED FOR YOU!! HE REBUILT YOU PIECE BY PIECE FROM HELL- SAVED YOU DOZENS OF TIMES!!!

Episode 17:

About saving Dean from the Mark: "We won't- (free Metatron)" "Yes, you will... because you're desperate." (9:44) Hannah knows. Let's remark that

"All I'm getting from you is... colours." (14:26) bitch he is a walking 🌈PRIDE FLAG🏳️‍🌈

Notice how, when we get a Sam-Cas centred episode, we don't get the same interactions with Dean-Cas? Why this?

Dean is always ready to call Cas a "brother", but the only one true bromance here is Sam and Cas'. There are no longing stares, no weird sexual filled dialogue nor tension, NO LONGING STARES

Facts, my people. Facts

Episode 18:

"You killed my friend." "Oh, pff, Dean is fine, mostly. Can't you get past that?" "Never." (12:39)

Charlie being excited about meeting Dean's famous boyfriend is WHOLESOME (37:34)

To have Cas back, 100%, safe and sound, is a win for Dean (38:58) and the face Cas makes after Dean hits him with another no-homo "It's good to have you back, pal." is "UHH not this again". Charlie already ships it

Episode 20:

A #MARRIED couple and their daughter. NO ARGUMENTS VALID (7:06)

Look at how they enter the motel (16:22)

OH MY GOOOOOD!!! #PARENTS coming back home from shopping!! THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER!!! Also

"Happy birthday. I got it at the Hot Topical" DAD

Dean: "Imma head back over there." Cas: "I'm coming with you." Claire: "I'm coming with you too." (17:24) #FAMILY

A fucking family comedy about a dad confronting the daughter's boyfriend and the other dad scolding him:

"What did you do to him?" "I didn't lay a hand on him!" "Dean, that isn't exactly true." "... Well, I didn't kill the guy." (17:14)

Surprisingly enough, this is not the first nor last time Dean acts like a dad to a lost child (AND TWO OF THESE TIMES THE KID IS SOMEHOW RELATED TO CAS) (21:54)

Episode 22:

C: "Claire, you are not going out there. [...] It's too dangerous. I can't let anything happen to you." D: "Claire, you're not going." C: "You're not either, Dean." D: "What?" (19:29)

#FAMILY DON'T TALK TO ME!

"No fighting. [...] Both of you." AAAAAA

This doesn't fucking matter, but Dean just said "... for the ladies. Or the fellas. I don't judge." (36:23)

Cas' speech to Dean... wow. "So if there's even a small chance that we can save you... I won't let you walk out of this room." (39:20)

I hate this scene. (40:11)

Dean is overwhelmed by Charlie's death, Sam and Cas' betrayal, the Mark changing him and all the other shit.

The Mark is taking over, and Dean can't (and won't) help it. Cas knows it. He doesn't want to hurt Dean. He is not even resisting. Doesn't put up a fight.

And just like Colette with Cain, Castiel only asks Dean one thing: "Stop." (40:38) [9x11]

Parallel to 8x07:

The only thing that stops Cas from killing Dean, is him begging, clutching onto his sleeve.

"Dean... please..." (41:08) Cas pleading Dean, clutching to his arm, makes him resist the urge to kill him.

Episode 23:

You can find gifs and the script of some deleted (destiel) scenes in this post by @charlie-minion

As the Mark eats Dean... he starts feeling guilt for the people he hurt... first on the list: Cas (14:54)

(This gif is not mine)

Well... what a season.

[Season 11>>]

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

I know we are all discussing the latest episode of Season 16, but I need to wrap up 11 for my own sanity (because there is a LOT to discuss in my Season 12 rewatch already), so without further ado - more rambling for you.

I’m not going to include 11x20: Don’t Call Me Shurley because I think I’d like to do an entire Chuck - arc - series.  Rob Benedict is a gift; that dad mug kills; and I love that the fan theories about Chuck spinning around this fandom for years turned out to be correct after all (WEIRD HOW THAT HAPPENS WITH CHARACTERS EH).  Moving on.

As you will recall, two recaps and many many many crackhead other posts from my corner of super hell ago, I ended the 11x18 recap with this image of Amara realizing...”something” after Dean said Cas’s name (just before she took Casifer with her), Dean/Amara unbreakable connection be damned. Speaking of unbreakable connection this post is partially the AMARA DISSERTATION.  Buckle up.

FF to 11x21: All in the Family; the boys are shooting the shit with Chuck and in the meantime, Amara is torturing Casifer.  Important to note that just recently the actual Cas was enlightened that Dean wants him to cast Lucifer out, so I presume he is a little more active at this point, and that strengthens the following hypothesis.  Look how Amara is looking at Casifer here:

And here, right before she touches him on the chest.

It’s the same look she gave Dean. She’s trying to decipher something; trying to figure something out. 

She appears to Dean in the VERY next scene, to show him how she is torturing Casifer.  But the real point is, of course, to show him how its affecting the physical form of Cas, reminding him its not just Lucifer who is suffering.  It works.  

DEAN 

Amara is – she's in my head. [Sam looks at him sharply] Hey, I didn't ask for it, okay? She just showed up. But she's showing me visions of – of Lucifer. By Lucifer, I mean Cas, and he looks like crap – like she's really doing a number on him.

***Note, yet again, despite the *connection* Amara/Dean supposedly share, all he can think about and talk about is Cas.

And Amara knows it.  That’s the realization she has in 11x18.  Dean loves Cas.  Then, in 11x21 she realizes Cas loves Dean.  So, she uses it to her own ends.  Smart girl.  

Enter Donatello (I love him), prophet of (not) the Lord.  He, Metatron, and Sam set out to rescue Casifer while Dean distracts Amara.  If we start with the presumption she now has the prior additional insight, the following snippets of dialogue hit a little different.

AMARA

This place, this world hasn't been especially easy for you. Why not at least consider my offer?

*********

DEAN

You're right. I am drawn to you. And it bothers the hell out of me, 'cause I can't control it.

AMARA

Then why fight it? What you're feeling is that I am the end of your struggle. 

***AHEM, this was not the FACE CUPPING I requested.

What keeps Dean from having it all?  What is his struggle?  It’s not the monsters or the hunting.  Dean’s repeatedly shown he loves this life; he doesn't want anything else (and the one time he did try it in Season 6, it was half-ass at best, and he left the minute Sam returned to go back to hunting).  Dean’s KEY struggle in the show is internal.  He represses his feelings, pushes his pain aside, resulting in a cycle of self-loathing and anger.  That cycle keeps him from having it all - accepting he can be loved, allowing himself to give his heart to someone else.  And at this point, Amara not only knows that someone else is Cas, she knows that Cas feels the same way.  Girl, welcome to super hell.  Take a damn seat by Sam.

11x22: We Happy Few

I’ll skim through this one so this post doesn’t completely make your eyes bleed due to the sheer length.  

The splicing with the scenes of everyone assembling different factions to form the new “line-up” needed to trap Amara is excellent. I’ve already done a short post on the brilliance of Dean heading to get Crowley and the ex-boyfriend mood of it all (Dean, of all people, telling Crowley to sober up gives me an ENTIRE head canon of the Crowley/demon!Dean unseen dynamic in Season 10).   And of COURSE Dean knows exactly what to say to convince Crowley to get on board. I also enjoy our future Sam-witch as the emissary to Rowena (”three’s a coven” would be a great tattoo, TBH).

BONUS:

I love her.

Big fight scene with Amara ensues, but this isn’t the finale so she cannot be beaten.  However, right before she mortally wounds Chuck, she does this:

[Yelling, LUCIFER charges her from behind again, but AMARA flings him hard against a support pillar across the room.]

AMARA

Goodbye, nephew.

[She banishes LUCIFER. CASTIEL slumps unconscious to the floor.]

DEAN: Cas! 

(He rushes AMARA, but she flings him away without effort.)

***She banishes Lucifer.  She could have just killed him.  Ended him entirely, and Cas along with him.  But she BANISHES LUCIFER.  Because of what she learned in the prior episode.  Because of the pain she saw in both of those idiots.

She does this for Dean.

Anyway, thank you Casifer FOR YOUR SERVICE.  I miss you already.

11x23: Alpha and Omega

There is nothing more precious than Dean sending his brother to check on GOD while he goes to check on his boyfriend:

DEAN: [Grunting]

Check on him.

SAM: [kneels next to Chuck]

Hey. Chuck?

[Dean kneels down next to Cas and puts a hand on his shoulder. Cas stirs and looks up at Dean]

CAS:

Dean.

DEAN:

Cas? Hey, is that you?

***All the heart eyes for the reunion!!

*********ALSO SHOULDERRRRRRRR

Chuck is dying, Rowena bonds with him.  Crowley is gold in this finale.  I MISS YOU MARK.  This line is NOT in the transcript/script I used, and it potentially being ad libbed makes it even better.

Dean decides to deal with the end of the world by drinking ONE beer, then deciding there is “not enough” beer and grabbing Cas for a beer (and....*feelings*) run.

DEAN:

You know what? This isn't gonna be enough. I better make a run.

[Sighs]

No reason to die sober, huh?

[to Sam]

You want to?

SAM: [frustrated] 

No!

*********************

DEAN:

Be right back.

SAM:

I'll stay here, find our Plan B.

DEAN:

Okay. Cas, come on.

Nothing makes me more pleased than the assumption that of COURSE Cas is coming with him.  I mean, he just got him back.  Also, Sam is frustrated because he is back in super hell, obvi ;)   

***Now we have the little “you’re our brother” bit in the Impala beer run dialogue, but to me it’s because Dean doesn’t know how else to express what he’s feeling.  Repression, people.  

The look of literal PAIN on Cas’s face at the “brother” line makes me cackle.  Misha Collins DESERVES AN EMMY; he is doing the Lord’s work with his Acting Choices here.

This little part before is what really gets me though, especially with all of the WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:

[Dean and Cas are driving in the Impala]

DEAN:

How you doing? You good?

I mean, you know, the whole Lucifer thing.

CAS:

I was just... so stupid.

DEAN:

No, no, no. It wasn't stupid.

You were right. You were right to let Lucifer ride shotgun.

Me and Sam wouldn't have done that.

CAS:

Well, it didn't work.

DEAN:

No, but it was our best shot, and you stepped up.

CAS:

I was just trying to help.

DEAN:

Well, and you do help, Cas.

***ITS JUST SO LOVELY.  Dean asking Cas how he is doing (what Cas always asks Dean); telling Cas he wasn’t stupid (throwback to Cas telling Dean he was stupid “for the right reasons”); acknowledging that Cas does HELP.  That he is important and appreciated.  THIS IS SUCH GROWTH.  I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Speak his love language, King.

Anyway, then Dean turns into a human bomb because martyr!dean gonna martyr and be “daddy’s (Chuck filling that role here) blunt little weapon” and we get -

THE DESTIEL GOODBYE. Tell me they didn’t actually go canon for the FIRST time here.  I will fight you.

LOOK at Cas watching him in the background. 

These fucking desolate eyes. I’m crying.

THEY JUST GOT EACH OTHER BACK -  

(I recognize this .gif is meh quality but I love that he turns and walks to him and Cas just GRABS him in this crushing hug)

DEAN [accepts the hug good-naturedly but then looks sad]

Okay, okay.

***”good naturedly??? ok Jensen “Acting Choices” Ackles. That is not “good nature” that is BLISS.

AND THEN THIS -

SOBS IN ENOCHIAN.

***I literally had to remind myself that the reunion hug is coming; it’s just an episode away.  I’ll make y’all feel better too; here it is - A PERFECT PARALLEL. Curse this show.

MORE OF THIS “GOOD NATURED” HUGGING PLEASE.

Anyways, back to depressing subtext.  

DEAN:

Okay, look. I want a big funeral.

All right? I'm talking epic.

Okay? Open bar, choir, Sabbath cover band, and Gary Busey reading the eulogy.

*****This scene lives in my mind rent-free as PROOF 15x20 doesn’t exist.

I can’t skip over further growth in Dean’s goodbye to Sammy.

***He’s being serious. Seasons 1-3 Dean would never have admitted this.  I was a blubbering mess at this point.

So, Dean heads to Amara, and the rest of the gang heads to the bar.

CROWLEY:

Your round, Moose.

***I would love an entire bottle episode of Crowley, Sam, Rowena, and Chuck at that bar TBH.

And then, Dean saves the day.  BUT NOT by dying and sacrificing himself, letting himself be used as a weapon of mass destruction.  No, he fixes the DAMN WORLD by connecting to Amara emotionally, and bringing her and Chuck back together, because he understands that not to be alone is what she really needs; that her own struggle is the same as his - letting in love instead of raging against it and fighting her own need for companionship.   Because that’s where ELDEST SIBLING AMARA AND Dean Winchester CONNECT.  Amara isn’t in love with Dean.  She identifies with Dean.  She sees her own feelings in him, her own pain, and that’s why she exorcises Lucifer and saves Cas - FOR Dean.  Amara’s just a Dean girl, everyone.   And we know Dean girls protect Cas at all costs.

Yup.  Amara Dean Girl Darkness Heller.  

That’s it.  That’s the dissertation.

See you in Season 12, where I will attempt to figure out the reason behind the British Men of Letters, killing Hitler, the brain melt that is Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox, the comedy of errors that is Cas playing Dean hot and cold, and the Mary Winchester of it all. 

[supernaturaldesires]

Dirty Little Secret - Chapter Seven (Finale)

Pairing: Demon!Dean x reader

Additional characters: Sam, Castiel

Warnings: hostage, threatened murder

Word Count: 1,495

“Dean!”

The demon faltered, caught off guard, slipping out of you as he turned to identify the intruder. You tried to lift your head, but by this point your body had gone numb and wouldn’t obey you. “Cas, he’s here! Quick!” 

In a flash, the demon grabbed you by your throat as he spun around to face the door, holding your body against his chest like a shield. His other hand fisted your hair painfully. He was virtually holding your entire weight by your throat and hair, for your legs were shaking too much to hold yourself up.

“Don’t take a step closer Sammy, or I’ll snap her pretty neck,” Dean warned with a venomous tone. “And I’d hate to do that, because I’d just trained her up nicely. It would be such a waste.”

Through fluttering eyes, you caught a glimpse of your rescuer. He was much taller than your captor, with shaggy hair and pained, desperate eyes. You tried to claw at Dean’s hand on your throat, which was gripping so hard that it had cut off your circulation.

“Dean, let her go, this isn’t you,” the man pleaded.

“This is who I really am, Sam,” Dean sneered at him. “You think I want to spend my life running around after my baby bitch brother, pulling you out of the messes you make? Nuh-uh, no more. This is my time. How did you even find me?”

“The bitch inside Jo was practically desperate to gloat about what the two of you did to this poor girl,” Sam growled through gritted teeth. “As soon as I exorcised the demon, Jo was mortified at what had happened and gave me the coordinates to find you.”

“I knew that stupid bitch couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Wait ‘til I get my hands on that cunt.” Dean’s grip on your throat wasn’t relenting and you gasped for air, your vision going blurry and losing all ability to support yourself. 

“Cas, do something!” Sam cried.

Little to your knowledge, a third figure in a trench coat appeared behind Dean. “It’s over, Dean,” he said gently, clasping his hand on the demon’s face. Dean’s grip on you released instantly and Sam launched forward to catch you as you collapsed. A blinding white light shone from Dean’s face as he crumpled into a heap on the floor. 

Delirious and unfocused, you felt yourself being lifted as Sam carried you out of the room. You saw the other side of that door for the first time ever, but your vision was hazy and you couldn’t focus on your surroundings. You felt Sam climbing some steps, leading to another door that was already open. He carried you into what looked like a sort of living room, but only the bare bones of one. There was a scruffy couch at one end of the room in front of a marked-up and stained coffee table, and a small TV a few feet away. There was a long breakfast bar that acted as a divider between the living room and the kitchen. 

Sam placed you down gently on the sofa, and you allowed yourself to melt into its sponginess. He removed his flannel shirt and wrapped it around you, the soft fabric swamping you with its size. “I’ll be right back,” he said softly, disappearing briefly before reappearing moments later with a glass of water. “Here, drink this.”

You didn’t move for a moment, only lifted your gaze to meet his. He offered you a small smile. “Please, you’re dehydrated.” With shaking hands, you took the glass from him and sipped at the cool liquid, allowing it to slosh around in your mouth before swallowing.

“Who are you?” You whispered, gazing up at the hazel-eyed man. “How did you find me?”

Sam sighed, perching down on the edge of the coffee table in front of you and running his fingers through his scruffy hair.

“Please understand I’m here to help you,” he said. “Whatever has happened to you, whatever he’s done to you, please understand that wasn’t really my brother in there.”

You choked on your water, recoiling. “He is your brother?” 

“I know this is hard to take in, but that wasn’t my brother. He’s possessed by a demon. Well, he isn’t now - Cas has just taken care of that.” Sam hurriedly tried to explain. “He will be back to normal soon.”

You sat up and turned to face the man before you, your body began to shake violently with anger. “He’ll be back to normal?” You spat. “What about me? Do you even understand what that monster has put me through? The things he made me do?” Your fury was broken up by sobs as you screamed at the gentle giant in front of you. “I don’t care what was inside him, it was his hands on me, his dick violating me! What do you want me to say? You want me to forgive and forget, because he couldn’t control himself?”

“No, no-” Sam tried to reason, but you cut him off.

“I can never forget these last few weeks. They are branded into my brain, they haunt me at night!”

“Sam,” a gentle voice interrupted you from the door Sam brought you in through, drawing both of your attention. There stood the third man, a little shorter than Dean, wearing a trench coat. His face was serious, his eyebrows knitted together with concern. “She’s right. She won’t be able to forget and move on from this while she still holds those memories.”

The dark-haired man looked at you directly then and approached you. “Y/N, I can erase these memories from you. You will forget ever meeting Dean, you will have no memory of this place or the things that happened to you here.”

“But what if he finds me again?” You whimpered, tears pooling in your eyes.

“Sam is right that it wasn’t Dean committing those actions against you,” he said softly. “I appreciate it’s difficult for you to understand and accepted that. But the demon that was using Dean to do those things to you is gone, that creature is dead and can never return to Earth.”

Your mind reeled with this information, thoughts piling on top of each other. “What, you can kill demons?” You shook your head incredulously. “What does that make you, some kind of angel?”

“Correct, a Seraph-kind of angel,” he stated, as if that was meant to mean something to you.

You threw your head into your hands and rocked yourself. “My head hurts, it’s too much. Whatever I need to do to get rid of these memories, just let me do it. I don’t care what drug it is, I can’t live with this-” Castiel planted his hand softly on your forehead and your world went dark.

A Year Later

You checked your watch for the fifth time as the train pulled into the next station. Only two stops to go and you still had plenty of time until your interview. You would have enough time to grab a coffee and hopefully calm your nerves. You had this. You had worked behind bars for five years, you were ready for a step up to manager. But your current place of work wouldn’t have that kind of opportunity for years to come; your boss, Tom, had worked that joint for 10 years and showed no signs of leaving any time soon. This was a chance for a fresh start.

As you pulled into your stop, you exited the train and hurried off the platform, making a beeline for the nearest coffee shop. The barista was a friendly young girl, with eccentric blue hair and a nose ring. “One caramel macchiato, please,” you asked, handing over the exact change. 

“Coming right up, hun, take a seat and we’ll bring it over to you.” You thanked the girl before settling in a seat at the windowed shop front. As you waited for your coffee, you watched lazily as the world went by.

The traffic lights in front of the coffee shop turned red, and moments later a beautiful ‘67 Chevy Impala glided to a halt, waiting for the lights to change. You saw the profile of an attractive looking man in the driver’s seat. Why did he look familiar? Something nagged at the back of your brain.

As if he could feel your eyes on him, he turned his head and your gaze met. He appeared to instantly pale, his lips parting in an expression that you couldn’t describe as anything but horror. You held his gaze, not sure what to make of his reaction or if you should do anything.

“Here’s your coffee, love.” Your attention was diverted for a second as you received your drink from the barista and thanked her. You turned your head back to the road but the Impala - and it’s mysterious driver - were both nowhere to be seen.

-FIN-

<= Chapter Six

Dirty Little Secret Masterlist

Dean tags: @akshi8278

Divider credit: @firefly-graphics​