#she would be such a Lizzy Stan

[etherrealsx]

RIP Lexie Grey you would’ve loved Lizzy McAlpine

[r1ggedg4me]

the way lana sings makes my ears c^m tbh.

[mysticstylz]

imagine an elizabeth olsen and charlotte sartre meet up

[hengqarae]

reckless driver

PAIRING ❄ kim mingyu x afab!reader WORD COUNT ❄ 10k words GENRE ❄ street racer au, angst, romance, smut (minors dni), the teeniest tiniest smidge of humor WARNINGS ❄ swearing, illegal activity (drag/street racing), making out, extreme pining, whirlwind romance, smut (fingering, protected sex), not proofread, brief hospital scene

you hate racing and you don't date racers. kim mingyu loves racing, and he finds out that he loves you, too, from the moment that he first lays eyes on you.

PLAYLIST ❄ reckless driving by lizzy mcalpine (ft. ben kessler) / yards / gardens by kate bollinger / btbt by b.i. & souljia boy tell 'em (ft. devita) / notice me by sza / nothing but the love by wrabel / with my eyes closed by cults / anyone by seventeen / angel eyes by abba FROM THE AUTHOR ❄ mingyu, crawling up my bias list because of my own fic that i wrote about him... i am a lizzy stan before i am a human, and the first time that i heard reckless driving, i knew that she was singing about mingyu (or, at least, the mingyu that i would one day write about). i hope that you enjoy reading this, and i hope that you are having a wonderful new year <3

You didn’t know what you were getting into when you visited the track that very first time. 

To your credit, you did not visit with the intention of falling in love. Your roommate, Lee Chan, had begged and pleaded for you to accompany him, to indulge, even just once, in this newfound passion of his. He had started racing to pay his bills, but quickly figured out that he enjoyed it. The rush of adrenaline made him feel alive, he’d tell you. You would always follow that up by telling him that he was chasing a high that could kill him one day. 

You didn’t support his racing. You hated saying goodbye to him when he left for races. You always found yourself anxiously awaiting news, tossing and turning whenever you tried to sleep, forced to occupy yourself with something to distract you while you waited for a call, a text, anything to assure you that he had finished the race safely and that he would be coming home at the end of the night. The possibility of getting arrested didn’t really scare either of you; you were mostly afraid that you would lose your best friend, and because of your own stubbornness, you weren’t going to be present if, and when, that happened. That’s the only reason that you started attending races with him. You’ve made sure that you’re abundantly clear about that, too. 

“It’s s'posed to be a really good race tonight!” Chan was practically bouncing in his seat. You hummed quietly in response, eyes trained on his speedometer. He was prone to driving fast when he was excited, and you were nervous enough at the prospect of him racing at all – your nerves didn’t need to be exacerbated by speeding down the interstate en route to the track. “All of the circuits are having their championships tonight, so if I place, I’ll get to move up to C! All the S racers will be there, too. Choi Seungcheol, Joshua Hong, Kim Mingyu – they're, like, gods in the downtown racing circuit.” 

“And which one do I have to thank for bringing you into racing?” 

Chan groans quietly, hands shifting their positions on the steering wheel. “Don’t talk to anyone. Even though I love and adore you, and your opinions are very important to me... I don’t know if your anti-racing agenda will be met very favorably tonight.” 

“What? I said I was going to thank them.” 

“Right.” Chan forces a smile. “Please do not talk to anyone tonight.” 

You huff quietly in response, shifting in your seat and crossing your arms over your chest. You hope that your phone has enough battery to get you through the night. You were definitely not going to watch Chan race, and you doubted that you were going to meet anyone at the track that could offer titillating conversation; that is, you weren’t interested in talking about racing or cars, and it was unlikely that you’d find anyone that could offer much beyond that. You’d likely spend your time in Chan’s car, scrolling through Tik Tok while you waited for him or until your battery died and you were forced to be alone with your own thoughts. 

At least, that had been your intention. When you and Chan arrive at the track, you’re quickly reminded of that saying about best laid plans. 

“Mingyu! What’s up, man?” Chan barely bothers to turn off his ignition before he’s bounding out of his car, greeting another man. One look tells you that this guy – Kim Mingyu, you’re assuming, as Chan had already mentioned him – is a racer, too, and you’re spurred out of the car to give him a piece of your mind. Chan only realizes that you’ve come up behind him once Mingyu’s gaze travels to you, and he’s quick to try and jump on offense. “M-Mingyu, this is my roommate. They... don’t race.” 

“They don’t like racing, either.” You offer, crossing your arms again, leaning against the hood of Chan’s car. You’re uncomfortable with the way that Mingyu is sizing you up, and you don’t miss the smug countenance plastered on his, admittedly handsome, face. Still, you find it difficult to peel your eyes away from his. He’s... hot. You had made it easier to villainize the sport by picturing all other racers to be stout, middle-aged men with receding hairlines. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Mingyu doesn’t fit that picture. 

“Roommates. Is that code for something, or is this actually platonic?” Mingyu keeps his eyes locked with you as he asks, even though you get the sense that his question is directed at Chan. You feel warm under his gaze, unsure if it’s because you’re uncomfortable, or if it’s because you’re finding yourself more and more attracted to Mingyu as you stare at him. Every few seconds, you have to remind yourself that he’s another stupid racer, and for that reason alone, it’s out of the question. 

“N-No, we’re just friends. Nothing like that. Why do you— oh, shit, hold on. Hoshi!” Chan pulls away before he can finish his own question, chasing after another man, leaving you and Mingyu still locked in on each other. His smirk seems to grow even wider, and you shift your weight. You wish Chan had stayed and finished his question. You, too, would like to know why Mingyu had asked. 

As nice as he is to look at, though, if you don’t speak to anyone else tonight, you’ll at least have told Kim Mingyu how you feel about his and Chan’s stupid racing. You won’t back down, even under the warmth that’s blooming across your skin. “Are you the one that brought Chan into this shit?” 

“Dirty words comin’ from such a pretty mouth.” 

“A-Answer the question.” 

Sliding his hands into the pockets of his jackets, Mingyu offers a shrug. “He was already into it when I met him. It was probably...” He looks around after he trails off before focusing back on you. You raise your eyebrows at him, waiting for him to continue, but he doesn’t. He only mimics your expression, raising his own eyebrows back at you. 

“Well? Who was it? Is he here?” 

“I don’t want to tell you.” 

You scoff. “I-I’m not going to hurt them. I just want to yell at them.” 

“Yeah, that’s why.” You knit your eyebrows together and Mingyu’s smirk grows even wider, turning into a full grin now. “I’d rather you yell at me instead. You seem like you’d be hot when you’re mad.” 

You’re at a loss. It’s been a while, if ever, since you’ve been flirted with so shamelessly, and as badly as you want to stay mad about your current situation – your best friend refusing to quit racing despite your constant protests and you, inevitably, getting dragged to the track with him – you're finding it hard to keep it together when Mingyu is looking at you like he wants to devour you. “I don’t fuck with racers.” 

“I think I could persuade you.” 

“I don’t want to be persuaded.” 

“I like a challenge.” Mingyu bends at the waist, meeting you at eye level from where you’re leaning on Chan’s car. You scrunch your nose when you catch a whiff of his cologne, telling yourself that no, you do not like how he smells. “God, you’re so pretty.” 

“Stop flirting with me.” You snap. 

There’s that smirk again. “Okay, angel.” 

You groan, rolling your eyes and throwing your head back. When you lift your head back, Mingyu seems to have gotten closer. If you reach out, you could grab the collar of his jacket and pull him even closer. Your fingertips tingle at the prospect, but you refrain. Instead, you take the opportunity to study his face up close, his smooth, tanned skin and his deep brown eyes and his plump lips. You must have been looking for a while, because Mingyu feels compelled to finally break you out of your trace. 

“You can look and touch, y’know.” 

“Pass.” You scowl, snapping out of it and leaning back, attempting to create some distance between the two of you. “Don’t you need to warm up or something?” 

“I don’t race for another few hours.” 

You set your jaw. What is this guy doing? Why is he wasting his time on you? You’re sure that, somewhere else within the track, he could find plenty of other people willing to swoon over him, ready to fall to their knees and offer him some pre-race stress relief. You weren’t one of those people. You hate racing. You hate that Chan fell into it, and you hate how you become too worried to function sometimes. You had met him in college, and for him to forsake the degree that he earned for the quick, easy money that he was getting now made your emotions flare. His business degree wasn’t going to kill him. Racing, eventually, will. 

The scent of Mingyu’s cologne is making you feel dizzy, enveloped in the scent of him, and under other circumstances, you’d already have him pressed against you. This was one of Chan’s races, though. You get enough of this shit at home from him; you aren’t going to bring any pieces back with you, too, even though you can imagine it would feel really good to touch Mingyu, and to have him touch you. 

Mingyu is perfectly content in standing and looking at you. He thinks you’re the second most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on, only behind his mother, and if today is the only day he’ll ever be able to see you, he wants to burn the image of you onto the back of his eyelids. 

You finally reach out a hand, pressing your palm against his chest and pushing him back. Nevermind how firm his chest is and how strongly you’re urged to grip his black t-shirt and pull him forward instead of pushing him back. He smiles even as you widen the gap between the two of you. “Is this what you want? You want me to go?” 

You open your mouth to respond to him, to tell him that yes, he needs to leave, but the words won’t come out. Maybe you don’t want him to go. Not yet, anyway. Maybe you like the way that you feel when he’s looking at you, feverish, skin prickling with a sense of urgency that doesn’t make sense to you. Your insides twist uncomfortably when you look into his eyes, and yet, you don’t want to look away. 

Fuck, you wish that he didn’t race. 

“Just tell me to go away and I will, angel.” 

You can’t. You don’t want to. There’s some kind of magnetic pole within Mingyu’s body, compelling you toward him even though you wish that you could get away. You’re stuck in his orbit, and it’s a little scary. 

“You should stop racing.” You respond, finally remembering yourself. “You’re gonna get yourself killed.” 

“Duly noted. How ‘bout a kiss, just in case I do get myself killed tonight?” 

“In your dreams.” 

“Yeah.” Mingyu laughs, running a hand through his hair and pushing it back at the forehead. “I’ll definitely be dreamin’ about you.” 

Your body moves faster than your brain, finally giving into the desire to have him closer. Instead of pulling him toward you, you’re stepping forward. You like the feeling of having your body pressed against his, but more than that, you like the feeling of your lips pressed against Mingyu’s. He smiles that same insufferable, self-satisfied grin against your lips, but even that doesn’t make you pull away. Instead, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer, fingers twirling in his hair. 

He puts his hands, big and warm, on your hips, holding you against him as you sink your teeth into his bottom lip. Mingyu groans in response and you take the opportunity to swipe your tongue against his top row of teeth. His grip becomes impossibly tighter, and he slides his tongue fully into your mouth, alternating between licking the inside of your mouth and massaging your tongue with his. Only when your lungs feel tight and burn from the lack of oxygen do you finally detach yourself from him, chest heaving up and down as you try to catch your breath. Mingyu flutters his eyes open, and the look in his eyes makes butterflies erupt in your chest. 

You untangle yourself from him immediately, running your hands through your own hair this time. “I--we—that--” 

“Was that you givin’ me material for my dreams?” 

“W-We shouldn’t have done that.” 

“We didn’t do anything. You kissed me.” 

“I-I know.” You’re still breathing heavily, your mind jumbled with thoughts of how you kissed Mingyu, how you should not have kissed Mingyu, and how much you liked kissing Mingyu. “That w-was a mistake. I didn’t mean to do that.” 

Mingyu juts out his bottom lip, red and puffy and tantalizing enough that you almost disregard your hesitation and dive in again. “You’re breakin’ up with me already? After all that we’ve been through?” 

“Stop making jokes!” You snap at him. “I-It isn’t funny! That—we--” 

“All we did was kiss. There will be plenty of opportunities to do it again.” You’re grasping at straws, trying to navigate through the fog that’s collected in your brain for a retort, when Mingyu’s phone goes off. He pulls it out of his pocket and, for the first time, you see him without a smile. “Call me, okay? Promise?” 

He backs away without waiting for a response, holding out his pinky finger toward you. You watch him retreat with a scowl on your face that only deepens once he blows a kiss at you, turning his back to you and taking off in a jog toward the racetrack. Once he’s been out of sight for long enough to ensure that he’s actually gone, you groan loudly, covering your hands with your face. Your face is hot, and your hands are clammy, and you keep thinking about how good it felt to kiss Mingyu, soft lips slotting between and sliding against yours, his fingers leaving your skin feeling scorched wherever they touched. 

You don’t know why you kissed him. You had been doing so well, holding yourself back and exhibiting some enviable self-restraint. Still, something in you had snapped, and you don’t know how you’ll be able to recover. On the bright side, you might never see Mingyu again. On the other hand, though, he’d shown a determination that makes you doubt he would let you go so easily. You can only hope that he’s just some playboy; that you’re the latest target of his conquest, that he’ll find somebody else and forget all about you. 

He told you that he liked a challenge, and unfortunately, you like being chased.

+ + +

Mingyu can’t stop thinking about you. He knew that this was going to be a problem when he first laid eyes on you and, lo and behold, he was lying in bed for the fourth night in a row, staring up into the dark, consumed with thoughts of you. 

He doesn’t know when he’ll see you again. He doesn’t know if he’ll see you again. What he does know is that he’s seriously lovesick, and you’re the only thing that’ll be able to cure him. This is not the type of person that Kim Mingyu is, though. Usually, he’s suave and charming, and he gets exactly what he wants... and then some. He’s so good at flirting because he does it so often, and yet, he wasn’t able to charm you completely. You’d kissed him – yes, you kissed him – and then, after his race, disappeared without another word. 

He is not a bad kisser. That’s a fact. And, yet, when you had kissed him, you had reacted like you’d committed some kind of grave sin. Mingyu has been with people that think he’s bad news, but that’s never served as an actual obstacle before. This is uncharted territory. He wants you. He wanted you before he even spoke to you; he wanted you as soon as he got his first glimpse of you. 

Your actions say that you want him, too, but your words have contradicted that, and Mingyu doesn’t know what he’s supposed to trust. He’s on the hook either way. 

He doesn’t know what time it is when he reaches for his phone on his nightstand. He doesn’t even know if this will work, but he’s got to try something. His sanity, and sleep cycle, depends on this. 

“Hey Siri, call Lee Chan.” 

The call gets picked up on the second ring, and Mingyu’s heart rate picks up, too. He releases a breath that he doesn’t even realize he’s been holding when he identifies the voice on the other end of the line. “Chan isn’t here right now. What do you want?” 

“I was calling to ask for you, actually, angel.” Mingyu sits up in bed, grinning into the phone. 

The silence on the other end of the line drives up his heart rate ever more, but when he hears shuffling, he’s able to relax a little. You haven’t hung up. “I’ll ask again. What do you want, Mingyu?” 

“Say my name again.” 

“I’m hanging up.” 

“N-No!” His face burns at how eager he must sound, but he doesn’t care to play it cool. Maybe with somebody else, but not with you. He has too much to lose to try and impress you. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I wanted to ask you to remove the spell you put on me.” 

His words cause your stomach to somersault. Truthfully, you’ve had a hard time since meeting, and kissing, Mingyu, too. You know that chalking it up to love at first sight would only exacerbate things. You don’t think it’s merely lust, though, either – you've always been able to restrain yourself. You’re careful with your feelings and your emotions, and there’s something there between you and Mingyu. You don’t know what, exactly, but you know that it can’t be there. You have enough on your plate, constantly worrying about Chan. You can’t add someone else, someone that does the exact same stupid stuff, into the mix. You need this to stop, for his sake and for yours. 

“I-It’s late and you’re probably just horny. Call someone else.” 

“What?” Mingyu’s incredulousness comes through clearly over the phone, and you nearly cringe at how harsh your words were. Still, you can’t indulge this. You shouldn’t. 

You want to. 

“N-No, I... I’m sorry.” You sigh, running a hand through your hair, frustrated. “Mingyu, I don’t fuck with racers. I told you that.” 

“Your roommate races.” 

“Yeah, and I hate that he does that, okay? I worry myself sick over him when he’s off racing. The only thing that I can be thankful about is that he does drag and not streets. But you do streets, too, don’t you?” Mingyu doesn’t respond, and you scoff quietly. “Yeah, I already know that you do. I-I can’t get involved with someone that risks their life all the time for money.” 

‘It’d be different if I were a cop, though, right? Or a firefighter? That’d make me a hero, right? This--” You hear him pause to take a breath. “I'm in love with you, okay? Completely and utterly smitten with you, to the point that it’s takin’ over my life.” Your breath hitches quietly at his confession, but Mingyu makes no indication that he heard you. “This isn’t my career. We can’t all tolerate cushy bureaucracy jobs. This is what I do now, for money, so that I can stop racin’ one day and retire, then and there. I want to enjoy my life. It’ll be more enjoyable if you’re in it. There is nothing else that I can say except for I’m sorry, and I love you.” 

“W-We just met, Mingyu. It hasn’t even been a week.” 

“I like to go fast.” 

You don’t know what else you can say. You can’t proclaim that you love him, not right now, but you’re sure that in a few weeks’ time, that’s where you’d be, too. Still, you know better. Mingyu is here today, but he could be gone the very next time that he has a race. That terrifies you. 

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say.” 

Mingyu’s at the end of his short rope. He had called in the first place so that he could hear your voice, thinking that maybe it could help him get to sleep. Now, though, he wishes he hadn’t called. He should’ve just suffered through his insomnia and continued suffering through it. It was better than the rejection he was facing. “Nevermind. Just forget it.” 

“Mingyu--” 

“No, angel, I—you kiss me, and then you push me away. You tell me to fuck off, then you tell me that under different circumstances, you’d be interested. I’ve shown you all of my cards, and you’re not interested in anteing up, so just forget it, okay?” 

You end the call before Mingyu can hear you cry. It’s all too fast, and you’re overwhelmed. You want him, but there’s one part of him that you just can’t accept. You aren’t reckless. You like to think things through, and you don’t do things on a whim. Kissing Mingyu had catalyzed a panic within you that you had lost control, and if you lose control once, you’re bound to do it again. It feels like you’re being backed into a corner with two options to get out: take Mingyu completely as he is or swallow your obvious feelings and leave him as he is. You clutch Chan’s phone tightly against your chest as you sob quietly, hot tears rolling down your cheeks even despite your attempts to stifle them. 

Mingyu, similarly, can’t believe what just happened. He’s too reckless. He bared himself to you too early, and the consequences that he’ll reap will not be good ones. He can’t help how he feels about you, and nobody feels more intensely than Kim Mingyu. He knows that he fucked up. He knows that he can’t come back from this, and he needs to cut his losses and find a way to get rid of his feelings for you. He doesn’t know how he’ll accomplish it, but if he never sees you again, that’ll probably be the fastest way he’ll be able to heal. He’s never cared for someone so deeply before he met you. He’s never known so immediately that he’s been in love. You’re it for him, and he doesn’t know what to do now that he’s already lost you.

+ + +

You shouldn’t have come. You knew that before you got into Chan's car, but now, with Mingyu’s gaze practically burning a hole into the side of your head, it’s been made abundantly clear. 

“Why is he looking at you like that?” Chan whispers while you shift your weight. “You never told me what happened between the two of you.” 

“I don’t want to get into it.” You mutter, willing yourself to look forward and not over at Mingyu, watching you from a distance like a predator observing its prey. It’s been weeks since your phone conversation. You were no less convinced that you were going to be able to forget about him, and a small part of you had hoped that you would come tonight and see somebody else draped around his arm, shocking you back into a state of rationality. 

That isn’t the case though, obviously, and you had to beg Chan to keep to you so that you aren’t vulnerable. You don’t know what you should expect from Mingyu. He’s reckless and volatile, and the way that you feel when you’re around him is... scary. As brief as your first interaction had been, you left with the sense that, if enough time had passed with you in his proximity, he would have replaced the necessity of air with himself; he would’ve become your air, and you would’ve suffocated without him. 

There’s something fantastic about the way that Mingyu has made you feel like you’re breathing and drowning at the same time, with just one little kiss and a simple love confession. 

“He's looking at you like you murdered his dog. Now he’s-- okay, now he’s looking at his phone... he’s looking at you again.” 

“I don’t need the play by play, Chan, thanks.” 

“Tell me what happened!” 

You shake your head. “I really don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Fine, then I’m leaving.” 

Your eyes widen and you turn to grab Chan, to pull him back and to keep him as your wall against Mingyu, but he’s out of reach before you’re able to react. In a matter of seconds, Mingyu has crossed the way and is standing in front of you, arms crossed tightly over his chest. You stare at him, horrified. 

He just scoffs. “You’re cruel, you know that?” 

“I-I’m not here--” 

“Yeah, whatever, you’re not here for me.” His hostility takes you aback, even though you know it’s deserved. You can tell from body language alone that Mingyu is still hurting. His words and tone of voice merely confirm that for you. “I-I don’t know how I’m supposed to get over you when you continue to show up to my races.” 

“It’s been weeks already, Mingyu.” 

“Yeah? And has the passage of time made you feel any better?” You don’t respond, turning away so that he can’t notice the tears brimming at your waterline. You’re biting your cheek to keep them from spilling. Mingyu knows better, though, and softens. Just a little. “I told you that I loved you, and I still do. I’m willin’ to do anything for you – anything except quit.” 

That’s the only thing that you need from him, though. “We barely know each other. You don’t love me.” 

“You don't know how I feel. You haven’t bothered to ask.” 

“B-Because you tell me even if I don’t ask! You don’t know me well enough to say that you love me.” 

“I can say whatever I damn well please.” He scoffs, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “There is somethin’ between us, you can’t deny that, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to foster this spark that we have. That’s love, isn’t it?” 

“That’s--” You cut yourself off, groaning in frustration. His words make your knees feel weak, but you’re not ready to let up the fight. “You’re too nonchalant about this for it to be love. It’s supposed to be something bigger. You can’t just look at someone for the first time and decide that they’re it for you!” 

“I can, and I did.” 

You shake your head, wiping away a stray tear with the heel of your hand. “I-I don’t love you.” 

“You don’t, or you won’t?” 

“You’re a danger to yourself! If you loved me, truly, then you wouldn’t put me through the risk of losing you every time you get behind the wheel.” 

It’s Mingyu’s turn to shake his head. “That’s all I am, then, yeah? I’m just a stupid guy that drives fast for money, and that’s all I’ll ever be?” Even when you open your money to respond, he ignores you and continues talking. “You’re doin’ this on purpose. You don’t want to admit to yourself that I’m more than what you’ve chosen to see. You won’t even give me a chance to be anything else.” 

The conversation is starting to make you dizzy. You press your middle finger to one of your temples, rubbing small circles against your skin. “It was just one kiss, Mingyu.” 

“Then kiss me again and show me that I got worked up over somethin’ that I shouldn’t have.” 

You can’t. You shouldn’t. You know exactly what needs to happen in order to prove to him that you aren’t the one, that he should back off and keep searching for the true love of his life, and you also know that you aren’t going to be able to fake it. You don’t feel your emotions as intensely as Mingyu does, but you’re never going to be able to escape this whirlwind if you kiss him now. 

You kiss him anyway. 

Your hands are trembling as you hold his face, pulling him in and pressing your lips against his. He lets you take the lead, slowly slotting his lips between yours only after you’ve initiated movement. Your actions are impossibly calculated as you try to exercise restraint, but, once again, you forget yourself. Your hands work their way into Mingyu’s hair – it's gotten longer since the last time that you did this – and you grip the strands tightly as you pull him closer. He, on the other hand, remembers his manners. He smiles against your lips before he pulls away, and the soft whimper that he hears from you nearly makes him dive right back in. 

“You’re so full of shit.” He whispers, eyes still closed, his lips ghosting against yours. “You love me.” 

“I-I don’t.” You respond, breathless. 

“Yeah?” He presses his lips against yours again, pulling away when you try to pull him closer and deepen the kiss. He’s taunting you, and you hate that you like it. You hate that he knows exactly what he needs to do to keep you wanting more. “Then we’re done here, I guess.” 

“No, we’re not.” Whispering against his lips draws a shiver up your spine. “Don’t go.” 

“You don’t love me, remember?” 

“Come home with me.” Mingyu stills against you, swallowing thickly. He hopes that you can’t hear his heart thumping loudly against his ribcage. “Skip your race and fuck me instead.” 

His chest tightens, as does his grip on your hip. “You’re---that’s not fair.” 

“I’m in love with a guy that does everything that I stand against. Life isn’t fair.” 

“R-Right.” Mingyu presses his forehead against yours, his eyes shut as he resumes his ministrations against your skin. He can’t believe how the tides have turned, but he’s not going to ruin it. Not again. Both of you are quiet as you even out your breathing, but finally, Mingyu cuts through the silence. “Counteroffer. I fuck you after my race when I’m ten grand richer.” 

“Get a real job, and then I’ll be impressed by you making money.” 

“Like a cop, right?” He punctuates his sentence with a kiss. “Or a firefighter?” Another kiss. “Aren’t men more attractive when they have money?” 

You exhale deeply as you pull yourself away from Mingyu. “Look, I—we—there need to be rules if we’re going to... be something. T-Together.” Mingyu raises his eyebrows in anticipation, and you sigh again. “Sex is a reward that you get when you skip races.” 

“That’s a punishment for both of us.” 

You ignore him and move on. “I don’t want to know details after the fact. Let me know as soon as possible if you’re alive or not.” 

That gets a laugh out of him. “Okay, I promise I will let you know as soon as I can if I die.” 

“That’s... all. For now.” You clasp your hands together, tilting your head as you look at him. “So? Are you skipping tonight.” 

“Baby, it’s ten grand.” Mingyu whines, reaching out and taking both of your hands in his. Your heart skips a few beats while he laces your fingers with his. “I’ll skip the one I have tomorrow. Promise.” 

“Maybe I won’t want to have sex with you tomorrow.” You lilt your words, looking to the side. 

Mingyu sighs loudly, swinging your hands gently. “I’d be content to sit and stare at you, too.” 

+ + +

As expected, Mingyu wins his race and the ten grand. As promised, he skipped his race on the following day and came to see you instead. That’s why you’re in his lap, and why his shirt is already off, and why you’re sure that he can feel how wet you are through your shorts. You opted to forego underwear in favor of easier access, and you made sure to encourage Chan to go out for dinner after his own race, too. 

“You’re such a fuckin’ tease.” Mingyu rasps, sliding a hand under your shirt. His hand travels against the expanse of your abdomen before cupping your breast, settling there to squeeze and knead your flesh as he continues sucking bruises against your collarbone. “Playin’ hard to get but wantin’ me just as bad.” 

“D-Dirty words coming from a p-pretty mouth.” You gasp, paying homage to something he’d said to you the first time that you met. 

Mingyu smiles against you, the feeling of his teeth grazing against the tender spots of your skin making you shiver. “It gets dirtier, angel, don’t worry.” 

You roll your hips against his, eliciting a groan. That spurs you on to do it again, pausing to gyrate against his erection, whimpering quietly at its contact with your core. There are layers of clothes in the way, but you know they’ll be gone soon enough. For now, the sweat collecting on Mingyu’s forehead, the parting of his lips, and the grunts and groans spilling from them are enough to keep you occupied. He squeezes your breast in response to the friction, using his other hand to cup your neck and pull your face down for a kiss. 

You sigh against his lips, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, languid movements that correspond well with the rhythm that you’re using to grind on his lap. He pulls away after only a few minutes, eyes following the trail of saliva connecting the two of you until it breaks, and then he looks at you. His pupils are blown out – probably just like yours – and your stomach flips at the wicked grin that blooms on his face. 

“Can I fuck you with my fingers first?” 

The words ignite a fire that quickly spreads across the expanse of your skin. You grip Mingyu’s shoulders and lift yourself off of him, hovering above his lap so that he can pull your shorts off. He groans when he sees that you aren’t wearing underwear, and his mouth waters at the prospect of tasting you. Today, he’ll go easy and prep you with his fingers. Next time, though, he wants his tongue buried in your folds until you’re begging him to stop. 

“Such a tease.” He says again, laughing to himself. “Turn around.” 

You do as he says, and he eases you against him with gentle hands on your shoulders. Your back is pressed against his chest, your heartbeat can be felt so strongly that someone could take your pulse by pressing just about another, and when Mingyu hooks his legs under yours to keep them wedged open, you know that you’re done for. 

He drops his chin and lets it rest on your shoulder, watching as best as he can as he slides his index finger up and down against your entrance, collecting your arousal. “I can’t believe you tried to keep this pretty little pussy from me. It’s mine now, though, isn’t it?” 

“Y-Yes,” You stutter out, gasping once Mingyu inserts his finger. He’s only partially inside, only to the second knuckle, but his fingers are so much longer than yours, and every other time you’ve fingered yourself doesn’t compare to how good it feels to have him inside instead. “It’s yours.” 

“Yeah, it is.” He coos, sliding his finger out and then back in. His rhythm is slow, and his movements are shallow, but as soon as he feels you relax, he’ll give you more. Normally impatient, Mingyu has all the time in the world to fuck you properly. He presses kisses against the side of your neck while he builds up a faster tempo, strands of hair falling over his eyes and tickling the underside of your jaw. You exhale quietly, and once he feels your shoulders drop, he inserts his finger completely on the next thrust. 

You whimper against him, back arching, and he uses the opportunity to wrap an arm across you diagonally, cupping your other breast through your shirt. “Don’t run away from me. I want you to be all stretched out and ready for my cock. You want my cock today, don’t you?” 

“Fuck.” You groan, tilting your head back to rest against Mingyu. He’s gradually picking up speed, and the way that you clench at his words only encourages him to do more; to say more, and to add another finger. So that’s what he does, slow as he brings in his middle finger, starting at just the second knuckle so that you can adjust to the feeling. “I want your c-cock.” 

“I know you do.” He presses his cheek against the side of your head, his lips positioned right against your ear. “You’re gonna get my cock. You’re gonna take it, all of it, everything that I give you tonight.” He punctuates his words by sliding both of his fingers into you fully, and the curl of his fingers makes you cry out involuntarily. He grins to himself and goes again, reaching for that same spot inside of you, grinning even wider when you cry again. “There we go. That’s where my baby likes to get fucked, yeah? Wish my tongue could go that far.” 

“Y-Your cock can reach.” 

Mingyu laughs out loud, stilling his fingers inside of you to stroke your g-spot again and again. “That’s true. I’ll make you cum with my cock next. Sound good?” You’re trembling in his arms, your legs having tried to clamp shut several times. He falls into a rhythm of cramming his fingers inside, hooking them and nudging your g-spot with them, and sliding them back out, and he gets so focused on making you cum that he furrows his brow, lips parted in the concentration. 

You’re panting loudly now, thrashing as best as you can in his hold, unable to run from the pleasure that’s edging closer and closer. “M-Mingyu--” 

“Fuck, say my name again, baby.” 

“K-Keep—fuck—M-Min--” 

“You’re doin’ so good. My pretty baby, such an angel.” 

It’s the praise that finally sends you toppling over the cliff; that, and his thumb kneading your clit, which you hadn’t even noticed until he stills his movements. You clench around Mingyu as you orgasm, and his ego grows three sizes at the ironclad grip that your pussy has on his fingers. He brings his free hand up to stroke the side of your face as you come, still pinning you against him with his forearm to keep you from slumping forward. “You don’t wanna let me go, huh? Want to stay like this forever?” 

“N-No.” You sigh, the stars in your vision finally subsiding. Your chest heaves up and down as you work to catch your breath, leaning back against Mingyu and turning your head to place a kiss against his cheek. “You promised to fuck me properly. Unless you’re too tired...” 

“Angel, if you’re implyin’ that I’m all speed and no stamina--” 

“I’m not implying anything. I’m wondering why your dick is still in your pants and not inside of me.” 

Mingyu stares at you, then blinks, and then smiles. It’s a real, genuine smile, not his signature smirk or crooked, self-satisfied grin. He tilts your chin up to place a proper kiss on your lips and then reaches behind him, blindly feeling the top of your nightstand until he finds the condom he’d brought. He eases you off his lap and fully rolls off the bed, offering you reprieve while he brings his cock out of his shorts. You watch with half-lidded eyes as he pumps himself, rolling on the condom with haste you haven’t seen from any of your previous sexual partners before. 

“We’re gonna go slow, okay?” He asks, slotting himself between your legs. He’s careful as he maneuvers himself around your limbs, groaning to himself once you wrap your legs around him and cross your ankles. You’re so eager now, but just yesterday, you almost rejected him for the second time. “Th-- y-you’re not going slow, angel.” 

“I thought you liked to go fast.” You draw out your words, lilting your voice. Mingyu ignores your comment, just this once, and grips you by one of your hips. He’s concentrated as he lines himself up at your entrance before letting go of his cock and swiping a finger against your folds again. You furrow your brows, sitting up as best as you can to look at him. 

He has the finger in his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it. He only notices you staring at him once he pulls it out of his mouth. He grins, a little bashful, as he looks back down and grabs his dick again. “I forgot to taste you.” 

You clench around nothing at his words, groaning softly, but when he finally presses the tip of his cock against your slit, it feels like a jolt of electricity. You do your best to lay still as he inches inside of you, stopping every time that he feels resistance against him, but the tip of his cock nudges against your g-spot when he finally bottoms out and your back arches. Your hands flail around, looking for something to hold, something to keep you anchored, but you just have to settle for gripping the sheets on either side of you. You crumble the fabric in your hands, eyes squeezed shut, letting yourself adjust the feeling of Mingyu inside of you. 

Maybe today will be fine, but you can easily foresee having an insanely hot boyfriend with a big dick as being a problem in the future. 

“Let me know when I can move, baby.” 

“Can’t we just stay like this forever?” You sigh, lolling your head to the side and looking up at Mingyu. The sight makes your heart flutter; his hair is sweaty, pushed back at the forehead but with strands still obscuring parts of his vision; the different scratches, bruises, and bites that you’d given him while making out were finally starting to bloom red on his skin. He’s looking back at you, and the look in his eyes makes you think that he’d be content with that, too. “You can quit... y’know, your job... and just become my trophy husband. Keep the house clean and fuck me through my Zoom meetings.” 

“Sounds like a dream. Did we really go this far just so you could cockwarm me, though?” 

“No.” You laugh, reaching out for Mingyu. He meets you halfway, taking your hand in his and pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. “You can move now.” 

You don’t hear it clearly, but you swear that Mingyu whispers Thank God to himself before he slides his hands just above your ass, hoisting up your hips for the best angle. His initial pace is slow, painstakingly slow, but the string of moans that falls from your lips spurs him to speed up. At first, he sheaths himself completely inside of you before pulling almost completely out, leaving just the head of dick inside before thrusting back up into you. As he continues, though, he’s more urgent. He wants to minimize the amount of time he spends not inside of you, so his thrusts become shallower. He’s soon thrusting into you at breakneck speed, slowing every so often to make sure his angle is right and that you’re enjoying this just as much as he is. 

“How we doin’, angel?” 

“I want to ride you next time.” 

“Fuck.” Mingyu groans, sliding a hand up to caress your calf. The room is quiet, save for the squeaking of your bedframe and the sound of Mingyu’s balls slapping against you with every thrust. Every so often, he thrusts perfectly, and you’re brought up from the bed again. Mingyu curses himself that he didn’t ask you to take your shirt off – this would all be even better if your tits were bouncing in his face. “A-Are you close? What do you need from me?” 

You hold out your hand, and he grabs it. You’ll be able to show him better than tell him. You lead his hand down, pressing his thumb against your clit again. He immediately gets to work, rolling the nub between his thumb and index finger, and you hold onto his wrist as you gasp for air. His touch is cool against your feverish skin, and you tell yourself that you’re royally fucked just as Mingyu’s thrusts become staccato. 

“I--I’m--” 

“Inside, Mingyu, p-please.” You sigh, using your free hand to caress his bicep. “Cum inside of m-me.” 

“A-Are you s-s--” 

You draw him in closer to you, and the squeeze his body against yours, and the squeeze of your pussy around him, does exactly what it should. He’s loud as he cums, his body spasming as he shoots inside of you. You’re disappointed at the lack of warmth, warmth you would’ve felt if he hadn’t worn a condom, but there will be time for unprotected. For now, you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to bring yourself to orgasm while Mingyu rides out his own. 

You’re afraid that you’ve lost it, but Mingyu recovers quickly enough to resume his ministrations against your clit. For good measure, he leans down and kisses you, and all of the sensations – his cock still inside of you, his fingers on your clit, his tongue shoved down your throat – are enough to bring you back up and back over the cliff. Your whimpers are drowned out by Mingyu’s grunts as you squeeze around him. He lowers himself onto you completely as you ride out your orgasm, trembling and spasming underneath him until you’re finally able to go still. He finds enough energy to lift his head and look at your face, laughing when he notices the tear that’d rolled down your cheek. 

“Cute.” He reaches up and brushes it away with his finger, letting his arm drape across you. You don’t know how long the two of you lay like that; Mingyu, pressed on top of you, his cock still nestled inside of you, one arm draped across your body with his face nuzzled into your neck and you, pinned against the mattress, one hand caressing his back while the other cards through his hair. It feels like it’s been mere seconds, but an eternity could pass, and you’d still feel like it wasn’t enough time.

+ + +

It’s the call that you always expected, but simultaneously, always hoped you���d never get. 

You’re numb as you rise from your bed, rifling through your drawers in the dark for clothes to change into. It doesn’t feel like you’re responsible for moving through your bedroom, getting dressed as best one can when they can’t feel anything. Chan is already waiting for you at the front door, unwilling to look at your face as he leads you out, locking the door behind the two of you and following you into the elevator just as the doors start to close. He must’ve gotten a call, too. 

It feels right to drive in complete silence. You’re unable to convince yourself to bring your eyes into focus. Maybe, if you don’t look, then this won’t be real: you aren’t actually en route to the hospital’s emergency room, and you didn’t actually get a call from an unknown number, telling you that Mingyu had crashed during his race and that he was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. Chan isn’t actually driving you, speechless and quiet for the first time since you’d met him. You aren’t actually being led through the tiled corridor of the hospital, harsh fluorescent lights guiding your venture down the endless hallway toward your boyfriend’s room. 

Mingyu is drinking from a juice box when you finally set eyes on him. That little fucker. 

All things considered, he looks fine. His left arm is in a sling, and there’s a deep horizontal gash underneath one of his eyes, and there are bruises starting to bloom along the crook of his neck. Otherwise, though, he’s fine. He isn’t intubated, and actually, the only other things attached to him are an IV and the heart rate monitor clipped onto his finger. 

Chan enters the room a few seconds after you, letting out a huge sigh of relief at the sigh. He holds a hand to his forehead before swinging back around and stepping outside. He knows that he doesn’t want to hear the words you’ll choose to say to Mingyu. 

“I love you. I love you so, so, so much.” 

“Fuck you.” You spit, drawing in your arms and crossing them over your chest. He knows that he deserves this, but he still winces at the venom dripping from your words and the daggers that you’re shooting at him with your eyes. “I thought that you died, you fucking asshole! You—I am so fucking mad right now, I don’t even know what to say.” 

“I’m sorry. I-I was careful, I promise.” 

“You’re a fucking liar! You’re in the hospital, Mingyu. Careful people don’t go to the hospital!” 

You sit on the chair in the corner, purposefully away from your boyfriend, even though you didn’t miss the way that he scooted to the side in his bed to make room for you. You’re able to see his face better from this angle. He looks... tired. The bags under his eyes are more pronounced, and for the first time since you’ve met him, he doesn’t look happy following one of his races. Figures, since he’d crashed his car. Still, there’s something different about him today. 

“You must’ve been worried. I’m sorry, my angel.” 

You sigh loudly, shaking your head. “I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to be my boyfriend that works a shitty job. Hell, you don’t even need to work. We can survive on my income, and I can come home to you every day and that’ll be enough, because I’ll be happy, and you’ll be alive.” You take a breath after your monologue, exhaling slowly. “Because that’s the bar that you’ve set. I’m just happy that you’re still breathing.” 

“I have somethin’ to say, too.” You look up at him, raising your eyebrows and clasping your hands together. Mingyu chews on his bottom lip for a few moments before he sighs, too. “I’m a racer. I’ve been racin’ for... God, I don’t know. I’ve been racin’ for a long time.” You let your head fall, anticipating what he’s going to say. “All that I’ve ever cared about is going fast and makin’ money. And then I met you, and my priorities... shifted. A little.” You squeeze your hands together, willing yourself to calm down. Mingyu was proving your assumptions wrong with his words, but you don’t want to get ahead of yourself. 

“You... I think I’d rather die than lose you. I-I guess, if I died, that I would lose you, but th—that's not the point. I started fallin’ in love with you the very moment that I first saw you, and since then, I haven’t wanted to take my eyes off you. You’re everythin’ to me now. Racin’ is... I’ll quit. I’m sorry, and I love you, and I’ll quit if it means that we’ll stay together.” 

Hot tears are already rolling down your cheeks, and as hard as you try to keep that from Mingyu, your sniffling gives you away. He coos from his place in bed and starts to throw his blankets off to approach you, but you hold your hand up and he stills. Offering another sniffle, you rise from your chair, sitting on the edge of his hospital bed. He looks at you, expectantly, and you, begrudgingly, reach out a hand. You weren’t expecting to forgive him so quickly. 

“Can you look at me? Please?” 

“Not right now.” 

“Angel, please.” Mingyu takes your hand, trying to tug you closer to him. “Look at me. I just... you’re doin’ that thing again, where you let me bare my soul and then don’t really respond.” 

You shake your head, tears flying from your eyes and landing on the hospital blanket covering Mingyu’s legs. He scoffs, using his other hand to reach forward and tilt your chin up. Seeing you cry makes his heart split and shatter, and tears start to form in his own eyes. 

“I’m so fucking mad at you, Mingyu.” 

He bites his tongue to refrain from cracking a joke, as he normally would. Instead, he strokes the back of your hand with his thumb. “And I want to stick around, so that I can keep makin’ you mad.” 

“You promise?” You ask, searching his eyes for any hint of dishonesty. “You’re really done racing?” 

“I don’t break my promises. Not the ones that I make to you. I promise, I swear, that I’m done.”

+ + +

“Baby, it’s late. Can we just go to sleep? Please?” 

“I’m making room in your closet for my clothes, Gyu.” You scoff, pulling out another jacket. You glance over it before flipping it around, showing it to your boyfriend. “Do you wear this?” 

He furrows his brows, thinking it over before dismissing you with a wave. “Not really.” 

“Okay.” You toss the jacket into the box you’d designated for donating, dropping the hanger on the closet floor. Mingyu yawns loudly, stretching out in the middle of his bed. You know what he’s doing; he’s trying to entice you into joining him. He wants to persuade you to stop doing the task that he’d already put off for weeks in favor of crawling into his lap, maybe going to sleep or maybe not. Still, you’re not ready to quit yet. You pull out another jacket and repeat your actions, holding it in front of you for Mingyu to inspect it. 

“Donate.” 

You nod, silently agreeing with his decision. You reach back into the closet, reaching for the next jacket to pull out, but your fingers freeze when you realize what you’re touching. You pull out the leather jacket slowly – Mingyu's racing jacket. It’s the one that he was wearing the first time that you kissed him, and the second time. He wore it for your first date, claiming that it was ‘good luck,’ and he even wore it that one time that you let him fuck you against the hood of his racecar. You hold your breath as you turn around, and Mingyu’s expression darkens when he realizes what you’re holding. 

He doesn’t know how to play this. It’s been months since his accident, which means it’s been months since he quit racing. He misses it sometimes, but you’re more important to him. He lets each day drag on so long as they promise, that at sundown, he’ll be able to come back to his apartment and you’ll be waiting, smiling, happy, healthy. That jacket means a lot to him. 

“Donate.” 

You mean more to him. 

“Aw, really?” You whine, looking back down at the jacket. Mingyu scoffs and pushes himself further up on the bed, watching closely as you run your fingertips along the leather. “You looked so good when you used to wear this. I think my mouth was watering the first time we met.” 

“Fuck off.” Mingyu laughs, waving you away again. “You keep it then, angel. I looked good in the jacket because I’m good looking. Please don’t attribute my good looks to my jackets.” 

You put the jacket back into the closet regardless, finally shuffling across the room to the bed. You sigh as you let yourself fall onto the mattress, groaning as Mingyu rolls you onto your stomach and then tugs you closer to him. You let him do all the work, only shifting once he’s positioned underneath you. You let one of your hands snake underneath his shirt, resting on his abdomen and applying pressure, just for good measure. 

“Do you miss it?” You whisper, cheek smushed against his cheek. 

“Sometimes.” Mingyu whispers back, tracing shapes against your back. “I think it suited me. I was good at makin’ split-second decisions, and it worked because the only person affected by those decisions was me. And then...” He trails off, considering his next words carefully. “Then I met the love of my life, and they tried so hard to hate me and push me a—hey!” 

He whines as you pinch him, prying your hand off him. He tsks at you, shaking his head before continuing his story. “As I was saying, the love of my life wanted to push me away ‘cause they didn’t want to be attached to someone with so little regard for their own life. And I couldn’t blame them, y’know? I wasn’t happy about it, though, so I kept tryin’ and, somehow, it worked.” 

“I already know the story, Gyu.” You grumble. Still, you’ll never get tired of hearing him refer to you as the love of his life. You still have no idea how he knew, from that very first moment, that it had to be you, though. “I love you too. I don’t think I say it enough.” 

“I didn’t want this to become sappy.” He sneers, pinching your cheek. “I was actually hopin’ that you’d ride my face.” 

“I’m tired.” You yawn, replacing your hand on his chest, over his shirt, and rubbing up and down along his abdomen. “I could give you a hand job, though.” 

“Don’t want that.” Mingyu groans. 

You lift your eyebrows in surprise. Your boyfriend, turning down a hand job? You lift your hand up and press the back of it against his forehead. “You don’t have a fever, though.” 

“You’re annoying.” He scowls. “You just told me that you don’t want me to eat you out, and I’m not makin’ a big deal of it.” 

You let your hand drop from Mingyu’s forehead, tracing your fingertips along his jaw. “If we’re both tired, we can just fuck in the morning.” 

“We don’t fuck in the morning.” You offer him a quizzical look. He wraps both of his arms around you, squeezing you and rolling both of you until you’re on your back and his cheek is pressed against your stomach. “In the morning, we make love.” 

“Didn’t you call me a slut the last time that we made love?” 

He lifts his head up, narrowing his eyes at you. “You liked it.” 

“Yeah, I did.” You sigh, easing your fingers through Mingyu’s hair and forcing his head back down, onto your stomach. “Where do you think you’d be if we hadn’t met?” 

“Wildly unhappy.” He scoffs. “Dead. What about you?” 

You hum quietly, scratching against his scalp. “Probably... also unhappy. Well, I don’t think that I wasn’t happy before I met you, but I think, right now, I’m the happiest that I’ve ever been.” 

The two of you lapse into silence. The sounds of the neighborhood – dogs barking, cars honking – seep through every so often, but you hardly noticed, aware, instead, of your boyfriend’s presence. When you first met Mingyu, you knew that he would find a way to infiltrate your life, to become the oxygen that you needed to breathe. When you first met Mingyu, you felt like you were breathing and drowning at the same time. Nowadays, you don’t feel like you’re drowning, but you aren’t breathing normally, either. It’s the same for him, you’re sure; it’s all about him, even when it isn’t. You could be focused on something else, but you’ll never be able to fully attend to anything else. 

It’s for this reason that you’ve had to scold him, on so many occasions, to keep his eyes on the road when driving. He just can’t seem to focus on anything but you, and somehow, his recklessness has worn off and you find yourself in the same predicament. 

Just as you finally shut your eyes, you feel Mingyu twitching against you. 

He’s laughing. “It’s a good thing that you decided to fuck with a racer, huh?”

[alotofpockets]

Private not secret | Elizabeth Olsen

Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x Reader

Summary: You and Lizzie are both part of the MCU and attend a panel together, what happens when an interviewer tries to press Lizzie to talk about the ring she's wearing when you're keeping your relationship private from the public? A/n: This interview gave me inspiration for the ring part.

Masterlist | Marvel masterlist | Words: 1k

From the moment you first laid eyes on Elizabeth Olsen at the table read for Captain America: The Winter Soldier you knew she was going to be someone special in your life. As you expected the two of you grew close quickly and eventually started dating. It’s been ten years since that table read and she has become the most important person in your life. With both of your celebrity statuses, the conversation of privacy had come up pretty quickly. You had each voiced not wanting to have your relationship to be public, your relationship wasn’t a secret, you just preferred it to be private. 

As you were checking out the outfit you picked out for Marvel Con in the mirror, Lizzie walked up behind you. She snaked her hands around your waist and rested her head on your shoulder. She admired you in the mirror, “You look so beautiful, baby.” You smile at her compliment, she always knew how to boost your confidence. “Thank you, darling, you look amazing yourself.” Lizzie held one of her hands out in front of her, “I don’t want to take it off, how would you feel if I kept it on?” You lace your fingers with hers and kiss the ring on her finger. You admired the ring you had picked out for her many months ago, the ring you had chosen to ask her to marry you with last week. “Yeah, I’m good with you keeping it on. Are you ready to go?”

The convention was so much fun, you met back up with so many friends and coworkers. It was rare that you were all together besides filming, as there were so many of you. You also got to meet a lot of fans, take pictures, hear their stories, and admire the art they made. You were on a few panels, most were without Lizzie, while Lizzie had her own panels, like the WandaVison panel with Paul Bettany. To close off the convention there was one last big panel for CA:TWS, there was one big couch and an armchair, for the six of you. The interviewer welcomed everyone to the stage, “Welcome everybody to the last panel of the day, give it up for Scarlett Johansson, Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Elizabeth Olsen and Y/n Y/l/n!” The crowd cheered and the first four sat down on the couch, making it full. You and Lizzie look at the armchair which isn’t exactly big enough for two people and laugh, you tell Lizzie to take it and sit down on the armrest yourself. The interviewer offered up her chair, but you assured her that it was all good.

“Thank you all so much for joining us, the ten year anniversary of Captain America: The Winter Soldier is coming up, Chris, how does that feel?” Chris takes one of the mics, “It’s so crazy to think that ten years ago we started filming the first movie of the MCU. I’m so thankful for being able to play this character and how much we’ve got to expand this universe to the big screen and introduce all these new heroes. Yeah, it’s been great.” The interviewer says it’s time for a question from the audience, you turn to face the person standing at the mics and all say hello. “Hi, I’m Ryan, and I have a question for y/n, what is your favorite memory from filming the movie?” Lizzie hands you the mic she was holding, you smile at her and thank her. “Oh, that’s a good question! I have so many good memories from that movie.” Your eyes move over to Lizzie for a moment only to see that she was already looking at you, you smile and focus back on the crowd. “I think I’m gonna have to go with the fight scene where we’re running through an office. So, papers had to be flying off of desks and the amount of times they had to be picked up to be able to shoot the scene again was just so funny.” 

Another fan comes up to the stand, “Hello, my name is Ellie, and my question is for Elizabeth. You’ve spoken a bit about your anxiety and I was just wondering how you manage to keep that under control with big crowds like this.” You hand the mic back to Lizzie, “First off I want to emphasize how important it is for me to talk about subjects like these, so thank you very much for your question, Ellie. “Secondly, for me, having people around me that make me feel safe is very important.” Lizzie places a hand on your knee. “For instance, I know that if I were to start feeling overwhelmed, y/n would notice and help me stay grounded.” 

The interviewer continues after all the fan questions are answered. “So, Elizabeth, I noticed a pretty ring on your finger.” Lizzie looks down at her hand, “Yeah, it’s beautiful right. it’s a cocktail ring, my fancy ring.” The interviewer presses on, “Is it a cocktail ring though?” You want to step in and tell the interviewer she should stop pressuring Lizzie, but before you can speak up Scarlett does. “Before we have to go, I’d like to ask you all a question. I would love it if we could take a big group picture, would you be up for that?” The crowd cheers. You all kneel down at the edge of the stage so that everyone fits in the picture. “Thank you.” You whisper to Scarlett as you move back to your seats. 

Once the panel is over you head to your backstage room with Lizzie. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to the lady.” Lizzie grabs your hand in hers, “You’re all good. That would probably have been more suspicious than how Scar handled it. Let’s just enjoy the rest of our night. “You’re right.” You share a sweet kiss before heading over to your friends.

[tiasreadingnook]

FAVORITE AUTHORS AND WHY

[ A/N: These are based on my opinion, standards, and experiences only. The writers in this blog are those whose blogs I read religiously. I weirdly have a high standard on what fics I can read without cringing and these writers are the ones on the top of my list. This is also for those new readers that are still kinda confused about where to start and where they can find writers with extensive and quality master lists. This is a continuously growing list and I will add more when I encounter others.]

This list are blogs that mostly make fanfictions of the characters Chris Evans, Henry Cavill, and Sebastian Stan plays.

Please read the individual warnings, rules, and tags in each of these writers' blogs or fics. Minors dni.

@littlefreya - "The Eve"

When I was lost and new to the Henry Cavill fandom it was her stories that were the final nail to my coffin that will bury me 6 feet under the fandom. Her master list is everything and more -- smut, ddlg, dark, fluff, domestic -- whatever you want it's there.

@onsunnyside - "My Sofia Coppola"

Sofia Coppola is my favorite director when it comes to imagery and aesthetics -- that is why I consider Sunny as my Sofia because I SWEAR the first time I read Tarzan!Steve fic it was like a movie and none of her stories have ever disappointed me. I still can't believe I read her stories for free.

@evansbby - "New York Times"

I've said it once and I'll repeat it, I check her blog every day like it's the morning news. I am so obsessed with her stories it is unhealthy. She writes the most delicious and varied Chris Evans and characters fics which makes it exciting but also comforting at the same time because at the end of the day -- they're all daddy.

@kinanabinks - "Spicy Shakespeare"

I actually took a lot of inspiration from her in one of my series -- she is that good. She writes the most delicious smut with the perfect splash of angst, tragedy, drama, and smut that will satisfy that itch in your head when you're looking for a bit of drama in your p*rn.

@comfortcap - "Guilty Comfort"

My daddy issues FLARE TF UP when I'm reading any of her (ddlg) fics. Such a sweet writer with the sweetest, fluffiest, and sometimes smuttiest fics that makes me feel guilty and comforted at the same time ;3 I love reading her stuff after a long and overwhelming day.

@junipermuses - "Lizzy Grant"

Lizzy Grant -- aka Lana del Ray -- is how I imagine her fics would be if it was a person. Sexy, effortlessly cool, and so put together. The subtle but easy-to-digest plots builds up the smut so much that it's so satisfying to watch it all unravel in the end.

@buckycuddlebuddy - "hey god ... me again"

Her fics immerse me so much that she has me giggling and kicking my feet as I read them. She is one of the few "x reader" fic writers that makes me want to cry and scream and beg whichever god is listening to move me in the alternate reality where I am the "reader" / main character in her story.

@sillyrabbit81 - "Mother Nature Called"

I swear every time I'm on my period you will find me vicariously scrolling through her master list because the way she writes the daddies (ESPECIALLY SY) are so comforting, dominant, and caring that it just turns my heart, womb, and coochie into mush.

@angrythingstarlight - "Pandora's Box"

Once you open her master list you will read nothing but her works for days (trust me I've been there) . She has an extensive collection of works that are a top quality. Her works can range from sweet to downright nasty to the fluffiest domestic scenarios that will have you grinning at your screen at 3 am.

@hansensgirl - "The Witch"

I forget feminism when I'm reading her works. I cannot believe I'm giggling over a man bossing me over and controlling my entire life?! And she somehow makes it work and that's how I've come to the theory that she pulls some witchcraft shit when she writes her stories but hey ... I'm not complaining.

@pellucid-constellations - "All Too Well (10 minute version)"

She writes the BEST angst and that's coming from me whose comfort film is "Love, Rosie". If you're looking for a well-developed plot, characters, and story arcs that end with a lot of groveling, comfort, and a happy ending -- look no further.

[hyperactivewhore]

it will never not be funny to me that out of all of klaus 3 main love interest, hope ended up having a better relationship with aurora than cami or caroline 😭 aurora took the step mother title CK and KC stans have been trying to claim for their fave for a decade!

It's hilarious to me too tbh

Like, Cami only knew Hope for the first two years of her life and while she probably loved her as if she was her own daughter, Hope didn't remember her at all and everything she knew about her were things Hayley told her (because it's canon that Hayley told Hope about Cami and Jackson, a producer said it a long time ago) and the only time Hope mentioned Camille was so offputting. It's clear she didn't really have an opinion of her, and I honestly can't blame her.

With Caroline is even more strange, because apparently Hope always had been a troubled kid in school and the only close relationship she had with an adult was Alaric, because if she was close to Caroline I'm pretty sure Lizzie would had mentioned it. So they weren't close, and asides from Hope wanting to belong into the Saltzman family because her own family didn't give a damn about her, that's all they were to each other more or less. Perhaps they could get closer as she's now the headmistress, but Hope already has a mother figure in Freya and I don't see them having a mother-daughter bond, just being good friends because Hope loved Klaus and despite everything her father did to her, Caroline definitely wouldn't be throwing every single one of his sins in her face like Alaric did.

But the last moments between Aurora and Hope are heartwarming, their whole dynamic was so touching and it proved Rory could definitely had loved her if they were given the chance. I mean, in the few days she was with Klaus in the modern world she definitely knew about his then baby daughter and considering they were together/kind of, I'm pretty sure she thought about the fact that she would become her stepmother. That didn't end up happening, but still. After all, she did see the best parts of Klaus in Hope.

In short words, Aurora had spent her whole life hating the Mikaelson family and loving and despising Klaus in equal manners, so having her give her life for Hope was such a good way to end her character. Imagine Hope, who had grown - mostly - only hearing bad things from her father be told he wasn't pure evil and that she wasn't either.

Either way, Tristan must be rolling on his grave as we speak lmao

[hogwartsandhawkins]

Prove Me Wrong

Chapter 11: M.O.O.N That Spells Moon

If you need to catch up here's the masterlist

Summary: After Jess makes an upsetting confession, Billy takes her on a drive

Small playlist:

Faithfully by Journey

What Was I Made For? by Billie Eilish

Ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, angst to fluff, Billy a little sappy again, mentions of religious trauma and Jess questioning her religion (This chapter isn't meant to convince my readers for or against religion in any way. I respect everyone's beliefs and just wanted to explore the character's personal experience with her own religion)

Word Count: 5.8k

Author's Note: Sorry I took forever to post, but I hope you lovely people enjoy!!!

Billy awoke the next morning at 11:27, feeling much better than he usually would the morning after a party, as this was the first time he left one about as sober as he arrived. Jess had planned on Wednesday to meet again today at noon to finish the paper they had already started on, but he was fairly certain that she had yet to wake up, considering the state she was in when she left Carol’s.  When it became closer to noon, however, be began to become anxious, wondering if she was fully expecting him like she said she would be days prior, if she was already awake, laying on her already-made bed, her unannotated copy of their shared text opened as she continued to look through other examples of the gods interfering as she waited. The thought of her flipping through pages, her hair pulled out of her face with that same banana clip she used when they studied, and seeing her smile gently at him when he walked through her bedroom door caused him to pull a white t-shirt over his bare torso and jeans over his boxers, making sure to grab the black leather jacket that was currently on his bedroom floor before leaving. 

He practically jogged his way to the Logan’s home, looking up at Jess’s window before striking the front door four times. It was quickly opened by Mrs. Logan, who looked as if she was preoccupied. She was out of breath as she opened the door, beads of sweat on her forehead.  

“Oh, Billy, Thank god.” Billy began looking around, wondering if she was actually talking to him, considering this was the strangest way he’s been invited into a home. 

“Uh, Mrs. Logan?” 

“Come in, come in.” She then moved out of the way, granting him a view of Mr. Logan, equally as exhausted, who was currently looking at a large television console, his hands resting on his hips. Billy then turned his head to look at the older TV that used to be in the center of the living room, which was now resting by the foot of the stairs. 

“Ah, would you look at that.” Mr. Logan turned his attention to Billy at the sound of footsteps, “The Mrs. can’t figure out where the new set should go.” He then looked over at his wife, his lips pressed in a straight line, his upper lip becoming nonexistent. 

“No. They just put it in the wrong place. I know where I want it, Stan.” 

When Billy furrowed his eyes at the mention of ‘they’, Mr. Logan filled him in. “The delivery guys.” 

“-and now, I want it where it should be.” 

“But sweetheart, It’s basically where the other one was.”

“But this one’s clunkier, it doesn’t look right here. It needs to be over there.” Billy followed her finger as she pointed to the corner of the room. Mr. Logan gave him a pointed look as if to explain what he’s been dealing with all morning. There was no way these two were making it there without spines breaking, so he nodded in acceptance as he began to pull his jacket off and folded it neatly over their Lay-Z-Boy, moving to the left of the TV set, causing Mr. Logan to follow suit, walking to the other side. 

“One. Two. Three.” Mr. Logan directed, them both, mostly Billy, lifting on three, Billy guiding the television as he looked behind him, making sure to not back into anything. When it reached the desired corner, both set it down with a huff, Mr. Logan giving Billy a grateful slap on the shoulder when done. “You’re a lifesaver, son.” Billy breathed out a laugh, looking over at him before quickly looking away again and down at his feet. 

“Well…” Mrs. Logan was now tilting her head at the sight of it in its new location, making Mr. Logan’s eyes widen in panic. 

“Don’t you dare, Beverley.” Billy laughed out loud this time, looking over at the television before turning his head to Mrs. Logan.

“What? You don’t like it?” 

“No no she likes it. Loves it. Don’t you Bev.” 

She looked at it with thought one last time before smiling. “You know what. It looks great. Thank you so much. I didn’t know how we were going to move it.”

“We weren’t,” Stan said dryly. He then looked over at the smaller console that was still sat by the stairs which was meant for Jess’s bedroom.  “Hey, kid, you think you could-“ 

 “No problem.” 

Billy positioned himself at the bottom of the TV, allowing Jess’s dad to walk backward behind it and not be burdened by most of the weight. The stairs became steeper than he remembered as his arms began to strain a bit, still tired from the last task. When they finally reached the top of the stairs and in front of Jess’s bedroom door, Billy had no problem setting it down as Stan directed and taking a break, shaking his arms out as Mr. Logan knocked on Jess’s door. 

“Jess? You dressed? Can we come in?” 

“I guess.” Billy noticed how groggy she sounded, now realizing he maybe shouldn’t have come yet after all. Stan opened the door to reveal Jess placing her head in between her hands, rubbing her temples, slouching on her unmade bed, slowly looking up when she heard the creaking. However, her mood shifted when she saw the TV on the ground. “It came a day early?” 

“Yup!” She didn’t notice Billy standing in the dark hallway, and when they picked up the TV, she jumped up, believing that her mother was on the other side of it. It wasn’t till he walked through her doorway did she see him holding it up. 

“What the heck are you doing here?” As she asked this question, she shamefully watched his arms flex as they found a place for the TV in one of the unoccupied corners of the room. 

Out of breath, Mr. Logan looked at the two before dismissing himself from her room, “You two can figure it out if you want it somewhere else.” He waived them off as he closed the door, leaving Billy to finally answer her question. 

“You said to be here at noon. Probably should’ve known a lightweight like you would be hungover.” 

“I’m not hungover,” Her voice was raspy, most likely from the combination of just waking up and having to scream over an incredibly loud stereo the night before, “I just have a small headache.” 

“Yeah. Cuz you’re hungover.” Jess rolled her eyes, now looking at her ‘new’ tv. What she was most excited about was the built-in VHS player, as she was more of a movie person than she was a person interested in the current shows, though she didn’t mind catching an episode of Cheers occasionally when her mother was watching it. 

“Do you think my dresser would hold it?” She was giving the television the same look her mother gave the larger one.

“Wouldn’t be able to use that then.” He nodded toward the mirror that was attached to the back side of her dresser. She huffed in agreeance, realizing she would need to place it on something so she could see it while lying in her bed. She began to look around her room, remembering that something when her eyes met one of her nightstands. 

“Oh! Come on.” She then left her room and began leading Billy to a room further down the hall. Billy started to realize how much of her house he had yet to see, as he never went passed the bathroom door which was right next to Jess’s room, and had only seen the main living area on the first floor. 

They entered a bedroom that had a decent amount of miscellaneous furniture that didn’t match the rest of the home. Everything was old and worn. Some pieces looked like they were ready to fall apart. Jess didn’t move into the room right away, looking around carefully as she breathed in slowly. When she finally entered, she walked around slowly, looking for something specific, but would pause at certain pieces of furniture, giving it her full attention before moving on. She stopped particularly longer at a seemingly simple chair, one of the pegs missing at the back left, causing it to lean against the wall. Billy noticed her prolonged looks and also began to look at different pieces, wondering what could be so interesting about furniture that looked like it was from the 60s. When Jess found the floor cabinet she came in the room for, she started drumming her fingers on the top of it, looking to see if it would hold under the weight. 

“Whatdya think? Could work right?” 

It was the ugliest thing Billy had ever seen. It was painted a sickly pea green, however, it didn’t look like it was painted by the original crafters, but instead by a random mom that decided to try her first DIY project. It bubbled in random places, looking as if the layer of paint could be peeled off, which tempted him, but he quickly decided against it, scared of what he might find underneath. 

“You want that in your room.” 

“You have a better idea?” 

Billy grumbled as he began to lift. “Jesus and it’s heavy?” 

“That means it’ll hold, right?” Jess was panting as she tried her best to help move it around the remaining furniture, through the door, down the hallway, and into the middle of her room. They both dropped it, Billy pausing to lean his body weight against it. 

He threw his head back when he realized he would now have to move the TV out of the way, reposition the cabinet, and then re-pick the TV up, placing it down on its new stand.  He made quick work of the television, as it wasn’t that heavy, then scooted the green atrocity, alternating sides to line it up where Jess wanted it. “Be careful of the shelves on the wall,” Jess instructed. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He left enough room to plug in the television behind the cabinet, sighing in relief when the TV was now where it belonged. “You wanna plug it in or should I, Logan.” She excitedly rushed over to the floor cabinet, finding the cord as she plugged it into the wall, wiggling it to ensure it was secured. She then jumped back up, turned it on, and watched it hum awake in awe, staring at the static once it was, a smile secured on her face. 

“You act like you’ve never seen one before.” 

“But it’s mine now.” Jess walked over to her dresser and knelt down in front of it, opening the bottom right drawer, which was filled with VHS tapes, some in the original casing, some not. She pulled out a stack, flipping through them. Billy looked down at them as well, realizing her movie collection mostly consisted of sci-fi and romantic comedies, nothing in between. 

“That’s all you got?” He asked now sitting down with her, holding up “Return of the Jedi”, facing it at her. 

“I like them.” She was now holding her “Sixteen Candles” copy and began walking toward the television. 

“We’re not actually watching that, are we?” 

“I’m just seeing if it works.” 

She placed the tape in, playing in the middle of one of the beginning trailers before walking back over to the pile and placing them back into the drawer, closing it afterward. She looked at the television again, content with the results, and then turned back to Billy, who had now stood up from where he was at and leaned against her dresser. 

“I need something to get rid of this… hangover…” She watched as Billy gave her a satisfied smirk when she admitted to having one, “Do you want anything?” 

Billy pushed off the dresser with his arm. “I’ll come with.” He looked back once more, seeing a trailer for something about a Breakfast Club, and left the room, following closely behind Jess, closing her door as they entered the hall. They came downstairs to find both of her parents staring at the brand new tv, it still off. 

“Did you guys move that?!” This was the first time Jess had seen it, unaware of how large it actually was until now. 

“No, the delivery guys brought it through the door. But Billy helped me move it the rest of the way since momdidn’t like where it was.” Jess shot her head toward Billy, who winked smugly in response. 

“Don’t say I didn’t do nothin' for ya,” he whispered in Jess’s ear before leading the way toward the kitchen. Jess searched through the fridge for something to cook, absolutely starving due to not having anything yet for breakfast, the hangover not helping the situation either. But to her disappointment, she found that there were no more eggs left. 

“Great.” 

“What is it hun?” 

“Eggs are gone.” 

“Well,” Mr. Logan chimed in, “if you didn’t bake so damn much maybe there would be some left. We don’t need the garage fridge full of sweets. We do, however, need eggs.” 

“You been holdin' out on me, Logan?” Billy was now crossing his arms, leaning the small of his back against the counter nearest the fridge as he looked down at Jess. 

“No, you had some…” She looked behind her before she continued, ensuring that her parents still found the powered-off TV more interesting than their conversation. “… the other night.” 

“You show me the garage, I take you to go get food.” Jess sighed and walked Billy through the door next to the pantry, turning on the light before walking to the left where an off-white fridge stood alone. It was 30 degrees colder in there, and when Billy opened the fridge, it seemed like it only got worse. “Jesus. Why?” He looked at the abundance of stacked containers and realized Mr. Logan was not over-exaggerating as the top three shelves were stocked with an assortment of brownies, cookies, and even the occasional container of cupcakes. 

“Well, the cheerleaders do a bake sale and-“ 

“Yeah in February?” 

“I’m perfecting the recipes!” 

“So what’s wrong with these?” He was now holding a Tupperware full of cookies, shaking it back and forth in his hand. 

“They didn’t rise like I wanted them to.” 

“Cool. I’m taking them. What about these? These the batch we had?” He had another container in his hands that had brownies in them, but there looked to be some missing. When she nodded in response, he nodded back but with more excitement. “Hell yeah. Get your shit let’s motor.” Jess followed Billy back into the house, closing the garage door and locking it from the kitchen when they were back in the warmth of her house. 

Billy set the Tupperware down on the kitchen counter closest to the living room and walked to the Lay-Z-Boy to retrieve his jacket that he left there when he first arrived, looking back at Jess as he flipped his hair out from underneath the collar. “I’ll wait.” Jess ran back to her room to change out of the sweatsuit she had worn the night before, just then realizing that drunk Jess had put the bottoms on backward before heading to the bathroom to take her makeup off last night. She threw on the first pair of jeans she found and searched her closet for a sweater, something thick this time, and ran back downstairs, socks in hand. Just as she reached the bottom, she sat down on the third to last stair as she pulled her socks over her feet, and grabbed the worn Nikes that were placed by her. 

“Okay, ready.” She was grabbing her house keys at the entry table, making her way to the front door before turning around to say goodbye to her parents, who were just now plugging the TV in. 

“Bye sweetheart, you two drive safe!”

“Drrsff kid.” Mr. Logan was behind the TV, his response muffled by his face being so near the wall. 

“Sooo… this town gotta IHOP or something?” Jess was locking the door as Billy stayed next to her, his hands in his pocket as he thought about where they could possibly eat in this city. 

“No, but our place serves breakfast till, like, two I think.” 

Billy smiled at the use of our, considering they had only been there twice this past week. He had already started to feel as if it was theirs, and he was glad Jess shared the same sentiment. 

“Sounds good, princess.” 

——

“Are you working again tomorrow?” Jess was pushing her eggs with her fork, wondering whether she could stomach another bite due to her insides now churning at the sight of anything that wasn’t toast. 

“What, can’t stand a day without me?” When she didn’t answer he decided to drop his joking demeanor and continue, “You don’t think we’ll finish the essay today?” 

“No. It’s not that. I already finished it yesterday in my free period by the way. I just forgot to tell you last night. You’re welcome.” She then placed a bit of egg on the tip of her tongue before mashing it on the roof of her mouth and swallowing, slightly cringing at the feeling of it dropping into her stomach. “It’s just…” She stopped as she watched their waiter walk past as he attended to the booth next to theirs. “I need an excuse for tomorrow.” 

Billy gave her a befuddled look before he got up from his place in the booth and held his hand out to help Jess do the same. “For what?” 

“Church tomorrow. Wednesday night is easy, since I say I’m just busy with school and practice, but when Sunday comes around… It’s just easier if I have someone to vouch for me not being there is all.” 

“Huh… Never took you for a girl that ditched something like that.” They walked to the front counter as Billy dug cash out of his wallet, softly pushing Jess’s hand away when she attempted to once again force the lone $5 that was kept in her small coin purse. 

She huffed as she placed it back where it had been stuck, looking back up at Billy once it was away, “And why’s that?” 

“Figured you were the kinda chick that lived there. You know since I saw that Bible in your closet and shit.” 

“Yeah, well, if you didn’t notice,” she now walked out of the diner, heading toward the passenger door and opening it to get in, waiting to continue when Billy was also inside the car. “it was buried in all the other shit I had in there.” 

“Okay?” 

“Meaning I don’t touch it anymore. Meaning I don’t go anymore.” 

“Then just don’t go.” 

“It’s not that simple.” 

“Why?” He pulled out of the parking lot and began driving back to the Logan’s, occasionally glancing back at Jess as she sighed, piqued at the thought of having to explain the dynamic of the Church, of the gossiping that she was sure took place as to why Beverly and Stan Logan’s daughter hadn’t been seen for over a month, of the questions her parents were receiving already, of the answers that her parents were already provided by Jess, and of the judgment of whether or not these excuses were good enough. She could already hear Mrs. Cunningham’s voice. Well, my little Chrissy has practice too. She’s been on the honor roll too, haven’t you Chrissy? The thought of the whispers and the persecution always sent Jess into a panic, and she feared that when she was finally ready to come back, she would no longer be welcome, which justified her absence even more. 

Instead of explaining, she slumped in her chair and mumbled, “You wouldn’t get it.” 

“Nah I wouldn’t,” he began to chuckle lightly, “Never believed in that bullshit.” 

“Do you think that’s all it is? Just bullshit…” Her voice was small, and it cracked slightly as it took on the weight of what it just asked. She had always been afraid to ask someone out loud, fearing that someone would hear her wavering devotion to her lifestyle. She just determined she would figure it out later, that this was just a hiccup and when everything was sure to be back to normal, she would laugh at her uncertainty and, hopefully, be able to return like nothing had happened. But she knew that to be false and it physically pained her to know that her lifestyle may have been for nothing. 

Tears began to well in her eyes and Billy quickly took notice of this, his chuckle catching in his throat, afraid that he caused this. He promptly pulled to the side of the road before he began to apologize. “Shit, Logan, I didn’t mean to say it like that-“ 

Jess cut off his apology by merely shaking her head, a small smile replacing her frown of contemplation which allowed Billy to breathe. “No, no you didn’t do anything. It’s just…” Billy stayed focused on her, waiting for her explanation, holding a comforting patience in the way he looked at her. It caused her to uncertainty to crumble down.

 She pushed her head back so she was looking up at the ceiling, up at where she used to direct all her strength. “I… I dedicated my life to that bullshit. And I don’t really know if there is a heaven, or a hell, or a God,I never really knew. I just had hope. But what I did know is that it made me feel something, that it was mine. That I wanted to be there, I really, really did.” She began to break down again, attempting to choke down her sobs as she continued to try and explain everything she had been thinking for a while, long before she stopped going to church, and youth nights, and activities. “And… and, Billy, what if it was all for nothing? What if every prayer I sent out, what if every service I attended, what if everything I’ve ever believed in was just nothing?” 

She knew the church was the reason she met Steve when she did, that their friendship wasn’t made through school but through the Wednesday nights and the Sunday mornings and every other activity in between. And when he decided he was too cool to go, Jess kept going. This place gave her Steve, gave her Chrissy, gave her hot chocolate during Christmas caroling nights and youth summer camp, where she was meant to be a counselor for a second year this summer. It gave her everything that she connected her youth to. But it also gave her anxiety, the kind that came from never being sure whether she was doing enough to be seen worthy by her church and by their God. It gave her the feeling of eyes being constantly on her when she first decided she couldn’t attend the early morning Bible studies before school as she was losing sleep. It gave her the question of whether her friend Alicia’s lifestyle would really put her in hell. It gave her heartache when she was told that the book, The Stand, a book that her father had given her, would also put her in hell if she didn’t throw it out. And it gave her even more heartache when she decided she’d read it anyway, as it became her favorite book. “And it sucks, it really sucks because you don’t know how much I beg that it is all real, that it wasn’t for nothing. Because I’ve given Him my life, and what if, after all these fucking years, what if I have been giving my life to nothing when I could’ve been giving it to myself.” She took another breath in and looked back down at her lap. Embarrassment began to creep in. Embarrassment from her confession and who she decided to confess to. 

Billy continued to look at her as she continued to break, and when she finally turned her gaze to meet his he studied her look of denial and acceptance. “Let me take you somewhere,” was all he said, his voice delicate but assertive. When she only nodded, he added, “It’s a far drive.” 

“That’s okay.” 

At this, Billy threw his car back into gear and began to turn around, driving in the direction they came. He would occasionally glance over at her, ensuring that she was doing better before he decided to turn up the radio, which after the advertisement, began to play “Faithfully” by Journey. Instead of flipping it to a different station as he would have last time, he let it play, allowing himself to listen to it a second time, continuing to look over at Jess’s puffy eyes and red nose as he listened to the lyrics. 

——

They had driven for a little over an hour and a half before Billy had pulled into a grassy lot. The drive consisted of music and ads, neither one of them speaking more than two words at a time as they continued their journey out of town. Jess’s eyes had cleared though her mind hadn’t, as she was still contemplating her earlier confession. It hurt her. It hurt her more than any pain she had felt, more than her sprained wrists and ankles from practice, more than her knee cracking. She had lost part of herself the first night she saw a Demogorgon, lost all faith in who she was and what she believed in. And though she spent the past year struggling to find that part again, it only took a five-minute conversation to determine it was gone, and she wasn’t so sure she liked that outcome. 

Billy reached behind him to retrieve that jacket he left in Jess’s room early Wednesday morning and handed it to her. “Put this on, you’ll need it.”

She looked out the passenger window as she blindly grabbed for the jacket, realizing that they were in the middle of nowhere. She looked out the rear window as well, and still couldn’t see a thing. She then cautiously looked over at Billy, “You didn’t bring me here to off me, did you?”

“I can take you back,” Billy laughed out. He moved his gaze from her mock-worried expression to the forest that they parked by, looking in the direction that he intended to lead them if she didn’t decide to leave. Instead, Jess laughed with him and opened her door, feeling the cold breeze and swiftly stepping outside to put Billy’s jacket on, feeling relieved that he happened to have an extra one in his car. It was much colder here, which Billy explained was due to them being closer to the Great Lakes. 

“How the hell did you find this place?” 

“Driving.” It was an easy enough explanation, but it wasn’t the whole explanation. What really happened was that at the end of another fit thrown by his father and another bloodied lip that accompanied it, he decided to go for a drive. He didn’t know where. All he knew was he had all day to figure it out. And after about two hours of mindless driving, he found a plot of grass that was much shorter than the rest of the surrounding grass, and unlike this time around, there were other cars parked there. Something called him to leave his car and when he did, he found a worn sign by the towers of trees that read “Creek Trail”. 

Billy led Jess to the same sign and then looked back at her as if asking if she was sure she wanted to continue. She looked up at him as well but said nothing, only watching the fog from his breath appear more rapidly the longer they stayed staring at one another. He then came closer, one hand reaching behind her neck and releasing her hair from under his jacket collar, allowing his palm to linger against the leather before pulling away. Instead of grabbing her hand, he held his palm outward for her to take, not moving his eyes off hers, and once she did, he began to lead her into the woods. 

They walked in silence for 3 minutes before they deviated from the path, and within another 4 minutes, Jess began to hear the crashing of rushing water. She glanced over at Billy curiously, but he wasn’t paying attention as he continued to effortlessly navigate through the roots and brush, careful not to take them anywhere that would lead to her falling. Then she saw it. It was the tallest waterfall she’d ever seen up close. Granted, she had only seen one before, but it was a sad excuse compared to what was now in front of her. She finally let go of his hand and began walking closer to it, mesmerized that this was only hours from where she lived. 

“Ever since I moved here, I’ve been trying to find… something… that reminded me of home. There’s no ocean here, but, this was close enough I guess.” He still had yet to look back at Jess and kept staring at the waterfall. “It’s different. But. Not bad.” He shoved his hand in his pocket, it now cold from the lack of touch. “Come here a lot when, well, you know.” He paused for a bit, taking in where they were and how the now setting sun was reflecting against the waterfall.  He had come to admire this place and, until recently, it was his favorite in Indiana. 

“And I just figured,” He then turned in Jess’s direction, who was still looking at the water in awe, “if there was a god… he’d be here.” He watched as her head snapped toward the sound of his voice. Her eyes took in and appreciated the boy in front of her. She felt a strange kind of sadness. She couldn’t describe the melting she felt in her chest. She felt the knot in her heart she had for months be replaced with something else, and it caused her to cry for the second time today. 

She began to walk toward Billy slowly but stopped a foot from him. She briefly looked back at the waterfall before meeting his eyes again. “And what if he’s not?” Her voice broke, it so soft that he would have missed the question if she wasn’t so close to him, the rushing water drowning out all other sound around them. 

“Then it’s just you and me here, and I’m okay with that.” 

Jess took a step closer, attempting to choke back the whimper that was threatening to come back. “Thank you,” she was able to manage to let out. 

“Come here.” He pulled her into his chest as she allowed the hot tears that burned her eyes to spill again. She hugged him back as he continued rub her shoulder, one arm wrapped behind her neck while the other was around her waist, his chin resting on her head that she buried as far as she could in his chest, her face slightly covered by the jacket he was wearing. Her arms snaked in between the jacket in his shirt, feeling the warmth that was trapped there. 

They stood there forever and not long enough, both of them admiring the waterfall as they held each other. Billy began to look at the sun that was now almost set. Against his better judgment, he thought of just staying here through the night with Jess, with her. But he knew it was about to get much colder without the sun to warm their surroundings, and so he pulled away slightly. He hated the feeling of the cold air replacing the space that was just earlier nonexistent, sighing as he made Jess aware of the time. “Should probably get goin’, gorgeous.” 

She laughed at the nickname, her laughter slightly muffled by the leftover tears. She knew that she looked anything but gorgeous at this moment. She was sure her hair was wild with Billy resting against it and occasionally rubbing it, and she felt her eyes nearly swollen shut as she wiped the remaining snot from under her nose. But Billy still smiled at her, offering his hand again so that he could lead her back to the car. 

“Careful, I ate shit around here the first time I was leaving. Hard when you can’t see.” He walked slower than he did when they first arrived. Jess didn’t mind , considering she wasn’t necessarily ready to go home. 

As he continued to point out protruding roots and branches, Jess began to ask light questions, hoping to change the depressing mood that she felt she placed over them the past few hours. “Have you found any other places?” 

He tsked at this question. “I went to lake Michigan once. Hoped it look like the California. It didn’t. Wasn’t that impressed, honestly.”

“Why’s that? I thought it would look a little like the beaches from there at least.” 

He shrugged at this and contemplated how to answer. “At first look, yeah, you could say that. But it was like… a cheap imitation. So I gave up on finding California in Indiana. Decided to just… find the best of Indiana I guess.” He looked back at Jess as he said the last part, but quickly directed his gaze back to his feet.

 They finally reached the sign as it began to get darker. Billy walked her toward the passenger door of his Camaro, opening it for her once they reached it. He then briskly walked around the front of the car to his own door, slamming it shut while blasting the heat. “Jesus it gets cold here.” He began to move his gear in place while he looked over at Jess. “Ready, princess?” She nodded her head toward him before resting her head against the window of her door. 

“So what was your favorite beach in California then?”

Billy seemed to greatly enjoy this question, as he began to describe in detail where his mother used to take him. He began to recount why the waves were always the best there, how his mother always laughed when he wiped out while he first started learning how to surf. She watched how his eyes erupted in thought, sparkling in a way she had never seen from him. As they continued to drive, Jess began to look to the now rising moon, the light from it adding to the light that she already felt. And as she sat there, blissfully listening to Billy’s childhood story accompanied by the soft hum of the radio, she realized two things: She no longer had faith in the man in the sky, and instead, had faith in the man sitting next to her.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in the eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

-Mark Twain

@nix-rose @fandom-princess-forevermore @ooo---hazelgrimm---ooo @axionn @defenslessheart-main

[cupcak2]

rating ever after high couples 🫶🏻 ☆

apple & daring — 0/10

like r you kidding. were this two ever considered a couple anyway? they were only together because of destiny, and we now know that's not daring's destiny lol. big no no

cerise & daring — 2/10

yeah it was cute... in 2014. now it's just kinda weird to me (mostly because now i headcanon her as a lesbian) cause there was like only one scene of them together ?? anyway not good i liked them tho

lizzie & daring — -10/10

EW. literally ew. there was no chemistry ok NO CHEMISTRY it was a BET and she was reluctant most of the webisode r you kidding i hate them

rosabella & daring — 37287429/10

now THATS what were talking abt. this right here. idc that most of the fandom thinks they're were random and forced and shit i literally dont care they are perfect. rosa made him a better person, she helped him when he needed and was the only one to not judge him by his looks when he became the beast. plus theyre destined for each other 💋

darling & apple — 5/10

idk they're lowkey cute but this one feels weird. i think i would like them more if in the series they talked more about the "kiss" and their relationship after that. minus points because darling told daring to "turn the page" when he was freaking out when he literally just lost his fucking destiny ? not cool darling. im a daring defender first and human second !

dexter & raven — 9/10

THEYRE SO CUTE ARE U KIDDING have yall ever read dexters diary, the way he talks about raven is so sweet i really like them. theyre kinda awkward most of the show but that makes it very cute

hunter & ashlynn — 8/10

i love them. i kinda ignore some things about it tho— like the fact that hunter only noticed ash because cupid helped her . anyway think about how sad she must have felt while signing the storybook of legends <\3

darling & chase — -2/10

LITERALLY the most 2015 ship ever who even came up with that. ngl i kinda liked it but not now could be cuter if he only showed up more in the series but shes canonically a lesbian so

dexter & cupid — 2/10

do i even have to say anything. i dont like them but im only giving it two points because i really like cupid and i feel sad about her situation— being friends with the guy you like and helping him to get together with the girl he likes. its sad. or it was sad, but now she turned the page and moved on ! we stan

briar & faybelle — 10/10

THEYRE THE CUTEST i love their relationship. like they're friends kinda but they still tease each other they are very dear to me

[iiikaruz]

New CH episodes have made me officially decide to stop caring about the actual cast of the show </3 (/hj but i wish it was /j)

Anyway would you like to share some of your headcanons/scenarios for the side/minor characters ? It always makes my day 💚💖(/nf)

dude i feel you on these new episodes. wtf is going on over there. anyways, i’ll gladly dump this 10 ton stack of headcanons on you that i wrote down!! Marie Antoinette: 

loves hyperpop and 90s house music. she’s so slay (i have a playlist lol)

into european weirdo cinema like Gaspar Noe’s but she also likes chick flicks (her fave films are Climax (2018), Daisies (1966), and But I’m A Cheerleader (1999).)

frequents on lolita forums and goes to really shady places just to get cute lolita items.

has absolutely mastered voguing. super into ballroom culture.

has a pet borzoi (those groovy long-nosed dogs.) her name is “Vanille” and Marie loves her dearly.

wants to study fashion. she especially loves Vivienne Westwood and Moschino.

Jesús Cristo:

is a juggalo, and he indoctrinated Van Gogh into it as well.

says “it is what it is” at any minor inconvenience.

had a mental crisis at 13 as a product to the stress of living up to his clone father. similar to joan’s breakdown in s1e3 but 10x worse. he tries to ignore it when people bring it up.

designated driver on any road trip. for some reason.

into bands like The Cure whilst also bopping to Cypress Hill.

his fave video game is Parappa the Rapper.

accidentally punching holes/nails into his hand is a common occurrence. seems like it just keeps happening, so he’s learned to just roll with it. he’s also a pretty good nurse bc of it.

Marilyn Monroe:

is always down for the school play. BUT she usually just does script-writing and tech. 

into conspiracy theories and video essays. (all gorgeous gorgeous girls love video essays).

is a dedicated Britney Spears and Gwen Stefani stan.

SO “COQUETTE LIZZY GRANT DIOR RETRO” in her fashion choice.

she also gives “elle woods from legally blonde” vibes. straight A student right here.

CERTIFIED GIRLBOSS <3

Thomas Edison:

is obsessed with American Psycho (2000). he has a poster in his room and he’s weirdly obsessed with Christian Bale (very 🍎🍉🍊 of him, but he always excuses it with “oh no, i just idolize and worship him. there’s absolutely nothing gay ab it.” he’s lying.)

also he’s SUCH a pretentious film bro. he has a whole library of stupid film facts shoved in the back of his mind (im totally not projecting).

he only listens to: 80s new-wave stuff like New Order, Oingo Boingo, Beastie Boys, & Talking Heads OR Lana del Rey. There is no in between.

he worked (past-tense bc that shit is GONE in 2023) at a blockbuster video store next to the mall and he liked being a total bitch to people about it (example: “you really rented this shit? this movie sucks, dude”)

after getting unfreezed, he was ECSTATIC over how easy pirating movies is nowadays.

Napoleon Bonaparte:

member of the speech/debate club and he is THE WORST TO BE PAIRED WITH. he’s foaming at the mouth the moment someone gives a rebuttal he didn’t think of. some meetings end in him trying to beat up someone. 

into 80s rock like Metallica and Black Sabbath. he has an electric guitar. he also FUCKING LOVES ABBA AND JAMIROQUAI. like… too much.

unlawfully good at Just Dance. he absolutely fucks it up on the dance floor.

adores fantasy films like Conan (1982) and The Never-Ending Story(1984). he’s so lame/ pos.

he bakes really well. that’s all he’s got going for him.

he either found his napoleonic military uniform at party city or at a thrift store with Marie Antoinette; his story changes depending on who he’s talking to.

he cut his own hair when he was 14. the following conversation after he did so was with caesar, and it was just the haircut scene from fleabag . he then continued to keep his stupid haircut to what it is now.

is a hopeless romantic. he can make up entire love poems & sonnets in his head about a girl he’s crushing on, but literally cannot talk to people without sounding like a douchebag unless he’s super comfortable w/ them.

Ivan the Terrible:

is an avid deftones, sewerslvt, & duster listener (i, unfortunately, ALSO have a playlist.)

spends his nights scrolling on 4chan and arguing w/ people. him & topher have accidentally argued w/ each other AT LEAST 5 times.

literally refuses to take off his ushanka in any weather. it doesn’t matter to him if it’s 90 degrees, that thing is staying ON.

kins Travis Bickle and Shinji Ikari. i mean, just look at this dude and how he presents himself. average NGE & Taxi Driver enjoyer/ hj.

fave video games are Postal 2 and osu!. he plays osu! phenomenally, to the point where it’s impressive. (pls put that energy into a job or something).

and yea that’s all the energy i have to write this down :]

[sweet-villain]

You Had Me~ Sebastian Stan/ Aaron Taylor Johnson series ~1

Summary : You are into your best friends, but there is some secrets to recover. What happens when he finds the truth? What happens when the best cure is the man that's into you?

Sometimes you thought life would throw you a curveball or give you a magical moment where you shake that good luck ball and it would give you a message.

A message that would change everything. 

Your world did a whole 360 when you were casted as Lighting Shadow, your character Erin Wallace, as a child you were in an electrical accident.

Your character has the ability to control electricity and as for the shadow part, you use it to hide yourself from enemies or use it for a source of transportation. 

You play Pietro’s love interest in the movie. Before also in Captain America, being Bucky’s love interest. 

There was no secret behind it that you and Sebastian had a spark on set. Everyone could tell but you were oblivious to it. It was him being friendly.

But Aaron wasn’t a stranger either to you. The two of you met on the set of Kick Ass, where he grew fond of you and the two of you became close.

Not too close as Aaron had hid the fact that he got married. He was terrified to tell you as every time he looked at you, he had this feeling.

He called it a funny feeling. It’s silly, he thought when his eyes peered over at you and his heart skipped faster. Aaron shook it off as a small crush he had developed and it would go away. 

You were too fazed in your head to notice that Aaron had sat on one side while Elizabeth “ Lizzy” Olsen.

Your best friend whom you couldn’t hide anything from her as she discovered you were into Aaron.

But that puts you into a bit of hot water because Lizzy has kept her mouth shut on Aaron’s secret.

She knew it would hurt you, but she thought it was for the best since you would have Sebastian by your side. 

She knew what she was doing. 

Questions were coming here and there, to you about your character and to the others. Then one person stood up from the crowd dressed as you from the movie. 

“Who did you like kissing better? Pietro from Age of Ultron or Bucky from Captain America?” She asked. Aaron turned to you, a slight smirk on his face, he wanted to see what you would say. 

The crowd “ ooh” and “ Ah” at the question. Lizzy giggled as she waited for your answer as well curious who you’d pick. 

I rather not choose” You simply said leaning back in the chair. “ Awe…” The crowd pouted and wined. “ Oh Come on Y/N, it’s easy. Just pick me..” Aaron said, chuckling. 

“ I don’t want to upset Seb“ “ Oh? So I’m a better kisser than you?”  Rolling your eyes you pushed his shoulder. Aaron puffed his chest out as his smirk widened and then he nodded, “ Of course it’s me.” 

“All I am going to say is I love working with you and Sebastian but come on give a girl a break here?” The cast laughed along with the crowd.

The rest of the panel went great. When you stood up, Lizzy whispered in your ear, “ You have the hots for him.” She sang. 

Looking at her, you shrugged. Aaron was gorgeous, how can you not think he’s not? He was sweet, adorable and a total dork as well. “ You can’t like him though” 

Lizzy decided upon herself that she would tell you what Aaron has been hiding.

You are her best friend and besides, this would have Sebastian coming to the rescue and comforting you. She knew Sebastian had a thing for you. 

At this new information, you frowned following her out. “ Why not?” She sighed knowing this was going to come but she had to tell you if Aaron wasn’t going to.

 “ He’s married” Shocked at this information, your eyebrows frowned together as you took a glance at him.

Why didn’t he tell you? Being hurt by this, you avoided his gaze as he glanced at you, sending you a smile.

His smile dropped when you didn’t return it and avoided contact. 

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he tried to move in between people but he couldn't catch up to you in time as you already had left.

He sighed to himself. 

Weeks went by and you were ignoring Aaron the best way you could. Ignoring his calls, text and when he came to your door knocking on it. You changed the locks, he had a key.

When he found out that you changed it, he banged on it. He begged you to open the door, you stood on the other side of the door hearing his pleads. 

“ I miss you!” 

“ What did I do ??” 

Those were the only things he would say on the other side of the door while banging on the door and running a hand through his hair. He was upset and frustrated, trying to understand what he did wrong.

He doesn’t realize how much he hurt you with his secret. 

Your eyes were closed with your back against the door, every bang he would make caused a tear to shed down your cheek. Your heart felt like it was ripped into a million pieces. 

“ Please” he begged. 

You tried so hard to not open the door, you wanted to but this was for the best. 

“ I don’t understand why he never told me. Why did he keep me in the dark about this? It’s not like I was going to get mad but now, I don’t know how to feel. I mean, the way he looked at me on set.. It was like there was something there… or am I being delusional about this?” you asked Lizzy sitting across from her at a table in her kitchen. 

She sighed and grabbed onto your hands. 

“ You’re not. He was giving you those looks when you look at someone and feel like they are right for you.. You know?” you shrugged not really knowing the look or how it really looks.

You don’t even know if it was the look that Aaron was giving you, honestly. 

“ I’m sorry,” she added. “ You don’t deserve it” 

You shrugged. 

“  At least now you and Seb can get closer” your head shot up as you heard his name. “ Sorry?” you asked. She rolled her eyes, knowing you. 

“ You can’t tell me there is something there between you and Sebastain. Everyone could see it. He’s so into you..” she says.

A huge smile lights up on her face. Maybe steering away from Aaron would do you some good, she thought. 

“ I don’t know what you're talking about Olsen, but there is nothing there” you lied.

You knew something was there between you two. You can tell from how his eyes light up every time you two were in the room together, how he talks about you to others, and the way he would look at you and listen to you.

Even if it’s nonsense, you have his attention. 

She sighs, “ Whatever you say, sunshine. “ 

“ I can’t be friends with Aaron anymore” you stood up from the chair you were sitting in and put your hands on your hips. “ It’s not right, I need to get over him…” you mumble. 

“ He misses you.. Ask about you.. He’s been super moody…” she says. “ Do you want tea?” she asks. 

“ No, thank you. I don’t really care if he misses me, he hurts me and I don’t know..I can’t be around him.” 

A car pulls up to the house, Lizzy knitted her eyebrows together. She was not expecting anyone. 

“ You invited someone over? She asks, putting down her cup and heading towards the door. You shook your head, knitted eyebrows and followed her down the hallway to see who it was. She peers behind the curtain and see’s Aaron’s car. 

“ Huh, Aaron is here…” she says, letting the curtain go and turning her head towards you. “ You didn’t tell him you were here, did  you?” 

You shook your head. 

“ I haven’t talked to him in weeks. Why is he here?” She shrugs as she heads toward the door but you grab onto her wrist in time to stop her. 

“ What?” 

“ Don’t tell him I’m here” you whispered to her, eyeing the door. “ He can’t know…” you dropped her wrist before heading to the kitchen. Lizzy sighs and heads towards the door and throws it open since she knew who it was. 

“ Aaron! What a pleasant surprise” she says. “ Didn’t know you were in the neighborhood.” Aaron stares down at Lizzy and then looks over her shoulder at the hallway that leads to the kitchen.

She swallows the lump in her throat hoping he doesn’t walk into her house, uninvited and searching for you. 

“ Is she here?” he asks meaning he’s asking about you. She shakes her head. 

He tilts his head to the side inspecting her, the smell of your perfume hits his nose and it flares up in disappointment. He knew she was lying to him. 

“ Tell her to call me…” he turns to walk back to his car but not before turning around, looking at her over his shoulder as he adds, “ Please.” 

She closes the door after he leaves and turns around to jump, holding onto her heart as you stand there giving her a sympathetic look that you were sorry you scared her. Your eyes go to the door. 

“ Is he gone?” She moves away from the door. 

“ You need to stop acting like a child and talk to him. He’s a person, with feelings like you. He’s not a robot where he can turn his emotions off and on. He cares about you and I can tell it’s hurting the both of you being away from each other…” 

“ I can’t talk to him… no” you shook your head. She rolls her eyes.

“ You’re so stubborn” She notices he’s still there, sitting in the car and waiting. Waiting for what though? 

“ He’s still here, go talk to him” she turns you around and pushes you towards the door but you manage to grab onto the wall and refuse to move with your feet digging into the carpet. It moves away and slides with your feet. 

Lizzy gives up and throws her hands up in the air. 

“ Fine, I’m talking to him” 

“ O-okay.. What are you going to tell him?” 

“ The truth” your eyes widen and before you get a chance to hold her back, she is already making her way to his car with your hand on the door looking, eyes wide as she approaches his car. 

Lizzy knocks on the window startling Aaron and he rolls it down, wiping away his tears. 

“ I was just about to leave….” he says, starting the car. “ Sorry” he adds. Lizzy shakes her head and walks around the car to get into the passenger side. 

“ She knows” is the first thing Lizzy says to him. Aaron turns the car off and looks over at her, confusion is written on his face. “ What are you talking about?” He asks. 

“ She knows you're married” Aaron’s eyes got wide. “ How??” He asks.

Guilt crosses her face as she glances down at her hands. She didn’t need to answer him, hearing him groan as he threw his head back into his seat. 

“ Why did you tell her?” 

“ Because she needed to know before it got worse” At this information, Aaron turned to look at Lizzy. 

“ Got worse for what? What does that mean?” 

“ You don’t realize that maybe… just maybe the girl cares about you more than you know..” she doesn’t want to say the exact words to him but paint him a clear picture on what she means.

It doesn’t take long for Aaron to understand what she means, his eyes get wide and his head shoots over at the house. 

You are still standing there. 

He gets out of the car and you notice this, fearing he would be angry with you, you were closing the door when his hand happened to stop it.

He ran to the door blocking to make sure you were not going to hide from him.

Not this time. 

“ Stop, we need to talk” he says as he pushes against the door. The door opens to reveal you face to face, eyes glossy as you wait for him to yell at you, to laugh at you and worse, to tell you he hates you. 

But those words never came. 

“ I’m sorry” He started to say. You snorted, he was sorry. Sorry was a word you didn’t want to hear. It was overused with everyone that told you from Lizzy to your parents and now hearing it from Aaron. 

“ I don’t have romantic feelings for you Y/N. I am happily married, I didn’t tell you because I wanted it to be a secret. My private life is my life. But you're my best friend, I want it to be that way. We have been through a lot together and I can’t lose you. Our friendship means to much to me” 

Your mouth forms into a thin line where you weren’t going to say anything.

But he knew from your glossy eye, one tear shedding down your cheek that he had hurt you.

The truth did hurt and he finally told you what he wanted. Right? Aaron ran the words over and over in his head as he continued to wait for you to talk.

It didn’t make sense in his head. He feels like an idiot. 

He can’t go back though, he has done the damage. 

“ We can’t be friends anymore,” you tell him. His eyes sadden at your words and shake his head. 

“ That’s not true, we can get past this and it’s just a silly phase. I need you to be my best friend. I want you to be my best friend. “ 

“ Things don’t work the way you want them too, sorry” you shrugged. 

“ I care about you way too much to throw this friendship away” 

“ Go…” you said through your tears as they were streaming down your cheeks like waterfalls.

“ You better go” Lizzy tells him from behind, she walks over to you and pulls you into her, rubbing your back in comfort. 

Aaron looks at you one more time before he sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets as he heads towards his car. 

He knew the truth now. It hurt. He looks back to see Lizzy has closed the door.

He gets into the car and starts the engine, giving the door another look. His own heart sinking into his stomach. He feels like this wasn’t the end of what’s to come. 

You were laying in Lizzy’s lap as she stroked your head, singing softly while the tears were no more left to shed and you stared into the tv of the show that was on.

You didn’t pay attention to it. Your mind was racing. 

The doorbell rang. You didn’t even move to see who it was as Lizzy headed towards the door. She had to call him. She had to have him come over.

He’s been away filming and he's back now. 

You heard talking in hushed tones but paid no mind. Footsteps could be heard as they came closer.

Someone kneels down on their knees in front of you. 

“ Hi, buttercup,” they said, greeting you. Your eyes widen as your eyes set on a familiar face.

A smile spreads across your lips as you throw yourself into his arms, breathing in his scent.He squeezes you tight against him, chuckling as he feels your smile against his shirt. 

Maybe this day wasn’t so bad afterall.

[opinated-user]

"The artstyle of a potterhead that watched Black Butler" Oh, but don’t you get it? Black Butler is an anime, and (as any obsessed Lily stan would know) Lily fucking HATES anything even remotely related to the vast majority of anime with a deep, racist burning fucking passion. It doesn’t matter if this line means absolutely fucking nothing, it doesn’t matter if its not even remotely fucking related to Shock Value or the game that the video is literally about. LO really fucking hates anime, and that’s all the reason she needs to shove it into a video whenever she wants to no matter what. It doesn’t need to make any logical sense or MEAN anything silly! All that matter is that Lily said it in one of her rants, so it must be brilliant! — LO’s Stans, probably

i just think that the woman who attaches her name to a webcomic that has this:

clearly inspired by anime if not straight from a "how to draw manga" book, on top of presenting a toxic dynamic as "wholesome best friends", shouldn't be speaking against anime inspired anything and less than anything with such contempt. (btw i just realized that after all of these years LO is still using Lizzy's art for the fanart button in the pokemadhouse blog lol) it truly feels like the reason why LO hasn't been using her official avatar in a while in any of her videos is because she knows it's too easy to call out how much of a self hating weebo she comes off as.

[triviareads]

thoughts on The Buccaneers (so far)

I am now and forever a Conchita stan and apologist and want nothing but good things for her. She's hot and she knows it, she's loud, unapologetic, and (so far) has been allowed to make mistakes in a way where she still feels sympathetic (though Nan is all "does everything need to be about you wah wah" despite being the biggest inadvertent attention whore on the show lol). Her fears of her dark-skinned daughter being perceived the same way she is by English society felt so raw and real. Her English in-laws basically pull a "we don't see color" with her and that, combined with her fears about how her child is perceived and being compared unfavorably to her white sister-in-law (said sister-in-law also says some coded racial shit) was giving Meghan Markle and her trials with the royal family.

Also on a romance level Conchita has had the best arc so far; her husband is a second son who is definitely growing a backbone against his family and the chemistry is THERE. hopefully they grow stronger together bc there was a lot of unsurety initially despite marrying right at the beginning

I'm so glad this show leans into the fun side of being rich and upper class at the time— like lets be real, if I had barely any chaperonage and a fuckton of money, I too would throw a drunken house party and swim in ponds fully dressed with a bunch of dudes.

There is a sapphic romance; hopefully they're given more time in future than they have been so far because they're cute.

Nan, the main girl, is...... fine. In terms of the love triangle sitch she has going on, she's best in her scenes with Guy, who's a charming, affable (possible) fortune hunter-type. But with the DUKE on the other hand...... oh boy. So awkward, zero chemistry. I did not need to see that man naked :/

tbd on the Jinny situation and What Happened At That House Party Between Seadown and Lizzy

[circusclowne]

I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE POSITIVE SPAM OR LEAVE NICE COMMENTS / TAGS IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY❤️❤️❤️

if u repost/use my art/ect PLZ credit me! otherwise i am completely okay w it ^_^

last updated: 6/20/24

carrd

commissions - open

art/design trades - open

requests - open

anything else: ask :)

rules for commissions / requests

lizzy / clowne

she / her

minor

pan

entp

american, EST timezone

#1 lifering + prototype fan ( self proclaimed )

average two, clover, leopardstar, taco, dovewing and bomby fan

artist / animator / va

DNI

basic dni criteria (racist / homo / transphobe / ableist / pedo / zoo)

proshippers / comshippers

nsfw blogs

loli / shota + fujoshi / himejoshi

ship wars

dream + lana stans

kpop stans (fans r fine just dont be crazy :3)

isreal supporters / zionists

terfs / radfems

transmeds

if you glorify sh/ed

BFYI

i like tacomic, nickloon and cabtube and ik they make some people uncomfy so just a warning ^^" ( i tag all of these )

you will see a lot of rarepairs ( multishipper )

i speak eng / esp ( learning )

i use procreate on ipad and my grubby fingers, adobe animate and occasionally capcut

i post eyestrain / bright colors a lot!

i swear and kms jokes will be made

angst and dark themes..beware of unreality!

i may post blood / gore occasionally...idk maybe ( will be tagged )

i am a taco fan 😓 and yes i do believe she was in the wrong

please dont bring unnecessary drama near me!!

i make tha penis + 69 joke ( i will never post actual nsfw, i will tag this stuff as "suggestive" / "suggestive joke" tho )

TAGS

#clowne art! - for my own art!

#clowne wc designs! - for warrior cats designs!

#clowne oc art! - for my personal ocs!

#clowne osc gijinkas! - for object gijinkas!

#clowne talks! - for my rambling ( I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED LIKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE A WHILE AGO SO THERES NOT MANY )

i kinda messed up mass tagging some of them so sorry for the osc stuff in the wc tag

HEY!! LISTEN!!

I AM OFFERING COMMISSIONS FOR ANYONE WHO DONATES 10+ USD (or equivalent) TO THE FOLLOWING AIDS FOR PALESTINE!!

PCRF (Palestine Children's Relief Fund)

Crips for eSims for Gaza

Gaza Emergency Appeal

Psychological Aid for Our People in Gaza

HERES WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO (IN ORDER)

dm me what you would like ( be very specific, send references, ect )

send me your receipt / confirmation that you have donated 10+ USD (or equivalent) and include which charity you donated to

i will begin working on your commission ( typical rules for commissions apply )

[darklinaforever]

https://www.tumblr.com/darklinaforever/746081986509225984/not-to-mention-that-for-the-context-of-westeros?source=share

Yes, the greens had incest, but attitudes to these situations are different. For most people in incestuous relationships, it is the sensual side that causes disgust. Two relatives have an attraction to each other - an abomination. However, in the case of Aegon and Helaena, there was nothing like that - they were FORCED to get married when they were still children. It was NOT THEIR CHOICE and there were no feelings other than kindred ones. At the same time, Rhaenyra and Daemon began to have feelings for each other and CHOSE this relationship - so it's an abomination. And yes, Alicent can simultaneously consider Targaryen customs strange and marry her children for the sake of necessity - this is not hypocrisy, it's just - surprise - people can have complex feelings. You can condemn something, but do it out of need.

The goal of the debate is that the Greens insist that there is no incest in their team when canonically there is. Whether the relationship was a forced marriage or not is not the point of debate.

Then most greens stans also ship Helaena with Aemond and wants him to be the father of her children. So still incest.

Also, was it a forced that Aegon II rape Helaena when he's drunk like she suggests in episode 8 ? I do not think so, no.

Talking about abomination to define marriages like Dameyra or between cousins ​​(like Baela & Jace, or Rhaena & Luke) without taking into account the context of Westeros / the GRRM universe, makes you look like a moron in the process.

Especially since I remember that the Targaryens do not even suffer from the problems of real incest. So what is the concern about incestuous relationships among the Targaryens from an objective point of view in this universe ? Nothing at all.

Without forgetting the whole societal context behind it, implying that for the society of Westeros Dameyra is not incest, or even the case of Jace & Baela and Rhaena & Luke. Unlike the marriage of Helaena & Aegon II. (Also, the Greens children certainly did not have to learn from Alicent that incest between them was an abomination on top of that, since Aegon II feels himself okay for having sex with his sister when he's drunk. And from the way Helaena talked about it, it doesn't seem like dialogue referring to Aegon II forcing himself to have sex with her just to produce children, stop the future bullshit)

So you can keep your two-franc morality for yourself.

Also, the Greens are literally a bunch of hypocrites. Not complex individuals.

Nothing forced Alicent to marry off her children, except with the deliberate and chosen aim of strengthening Aegon II's claim to the throne (thus with the aim of usurping Rhaenyra through misogyny, that incredible complexity...) making him act like "a real Targaryen" according to her.

And don't come and talk to me about the stupidity of Alicent doing all this to protect her children. If Alicent had really wanted to protect her children, she would have made sure to make them abandon all claims to the throne by giving them places like Kingsguard or maesters and so on. But I imagine that she must have preferred to have a little power instead of the so-called safety of her children...

Or maybe she is just an idiot incapable of thinking for herself and was content to swallowing what his father told him without any supporting evidence.

Once again, so much complexity.

If the Green stans could stop writing to me after a while that would be really cool.

@nrilliree @lizzie-queenofmeigas

[litcest]

We Have Always Lived in the Castle, by Shirley Jackson

We Have Always Lived in the Castle is 1962 mystery novel by author Shirley Jackson, who also famously wrote The Lottery (1948) and The Haunting of Hill House (1959). The story is about the Blackwoods, a very wealthy family who owns a large state. Since the death of their parents, Constance Blackwood has been taking care of her younger sister, Mary Katherine (better known as Merricat) and their wheelchair bound uncle, Julian. The three of them live in perfect recluse in their manor, but when cousin Charles comes to visit, he shakes up the family dynamic.

Despite their relationship not being explicitly incestuous in the novel, Constance and Merricat share a bond closer than most sisters do. If you have read Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House, you may remember Eleanor and Theo, who weren't explicitly in a romantic relationship, but were very lesbian coded. The same applies for the Blackwood sisters, in my opinion.

In 1966 the novel was made into a play by Hugh Wheeler, and this play was used as the basis for the 2010 musical by Adam Bock and Todd Almond. But, more famously, in 2018, there was a movie adaptation by Stacie Passon, starring Taissa Farmiga as Merricat, Alexandra Daddario as Constance, Sebastian Stan as Charles and Crispin Glover as Julian.

The book is narrated by eighteen-years-old Merricat Blackwood. Despite her age, her behaviour throughout the novel is very immature and childish, probably due to the trauma she suffered at twelve, when the rest of her family (save for her sister and uncle) died. She's also very superstitious and practices sympathetic magic.

Merricat lives with Constance and Julian in the large Blackwood property in near isolation. Her only contact with the outside world is going to the village to buy groceries and visit the library. The locals aren't very keen on the Blackwood family, eyeing them with suspicion since the deaths that occurred years prior and resenting the large amount of money the family has, despite not doing any hard work.

No, really, the people in town are really nasty towards the sisters, with the children even making a mean song about them, akin to how people made that skipping rope song about Lizzie Borden.

"Merricat, said Connie, would you like a cup of tea? Oh no, said Merricat, you’ll poison me. Merricat, said Connie, would you like to go to sleep? Down in the boneyard ten feet deep!"

You see, the reason for the rhyme is that six years before the events in the book, the sisters parents, their younger brother as well as Uncle Julian and his wife were poised wit arsenic that had been mixed into the sugar bowl. Julian was the only survivor and Constance wasn't poisoned because she didn't eat sugar with her blackberries, and Merricat hadn't been in the dinner that night. Due to her being the only person present who wasn't poisoned, she was arrested and charged with murder, but ended up being acquitted and released back, much to the distaste of the village.

Probably due to her fear that Constance will be taken away again, Merricat has developed many "magical" protections around the property to avoid strangers coming in (it must be noted that Constance herself doesn't leave the house since the trial finished, so the magic could be to keep Constance safe). It's clear, from the beginning, that Merricat loves her sister and has a strong devotion to her. The feeling is mutual as evidenced by Constance telling Merricat how much she missed her, even thought Merricat had only been to village for, at most, a couple hours.

"When I was small I thought Constance was a fairy princess. I used to try to draw her picture, with long golden hair and eyes as blue as the crayon could make them, and a bright pink spot on either cheek; the pictures always surprised me, because she did look like that; even at the worst time she was pink and white and golden, and nothing had ever seemed to dim the brightness of her. She was the most precious person in my world, always."

Julian, their widowed uncle, spend his time writing his memories of the day of the poisoning, obsessively looking at the details of what happened that day and on the day before and it is through his ramblings about the event that we, the readers, learn about what happened. For exemple, he is the one who exposes the fact that Constance was the one who did the cooking, and that she has knowledge of different poisons. Not only that, but she didn't use sugar on her blackberries (although it was a known fact that she never did) and washed the sugar bowl before the police could arrive to the scene - allegedly because there was a spider in it.

Merricat is perfectly happy with Constance staying at home the whole time, as in this way she has her sister basically all to herself. When Constance starts to express some desire to leave the house, Merricat becomes upset and reacts by violently breaking their mother's fancy milk pitcher. Although she doesn't verbally express her displeasure or lashes out in front of Constance, Merricat often breaks things around the house, leaving a path of destruction on the wake of her anger.

"'We’ll always be here together, won’t we, Constance?' 'Don’t you ever want to leave here, Merricat?' 'Where could we go?' I asked her. 'What place would be better for us than this? Who wants us, outside? The world is full of terrible people.' 'I wonder sometimes.' She was very serious for a minute, and then she turned and smiled at me. 'Don’t you worry, my Merricat. Nothing bad will happen.'"

Before Constance can decide if she's ready to explore the outside world, the outside world comes knocking in the form of Cousin Charles, son of her father's other brother. Merricat dislikes him at first sight and even tries to pretend she had only dreamed about his visit and could "dream him away", but Constance seems glad to have the attention of a good looking young man, even if he is her cousin.

Charles claims he wanted to help his cousins after the tragedy that had struck, but hadn't been able because his father wouldn't allow it, but now that his father was dead, he wanted to reunite with the remaining family. Merricat is jealous of how easily Costance (whom Charles calls 'Connie') warms up to the newcomer.

"She was not at all awkward or uncomfortable; it was as though she had been expecting all her life that Cousin Charles would come, as though she had planned exactly what to do and say, almost as though in the house of her life there had always been a room kept for Cousin Charles."

To keep Charles away, Merricat nails a gold watch into a tree, and when Charles sees it, he gets angry because it was a waste of gold. His obsession with money leads Julian to start to think that Charles is only there to try to steal the family fortune.

Charles is no innocent either. When he realises that he won't win Merricat's affection, he quickly start being passive aggressive with her, even insinuating that he might convince Constance to throw her out. And at the same time he tells Connie she should not be waiting on Julian, Charles also has her cook and clean for himself.

Merricat tries her best to shield herself and her sister, but all she can actually do is small actions, like breaking Charles' watch and pouring water in his bed. Charles gets furious with Merricat's childish antics and while Constance doesn't condenes her sister, she doesn't defends her either, simply calling Merricat "silly".

"'You are evil,' I said to Charles. 'You are a ghost and a demon.' 'What the hell?' Charles said. 'Don’t pay any attention,' Constance told him. 'Don’t listen to Merricat’s nonsense.'"

During a large argument between Charles, Merricat and Julian, Charles tell them that Merricat needs to be punished, which makes her run away in fear. Upset and even more angry than before, Merricat waits until dinner time and goes to Charles room, and she finds his pipe, which was still burning. She then throws in into a pile of papers which causes a fire to start. They are in the table when Charles smells smoke.

Constance and Merricat run for safety, but Julian stays behind to gather his papers (the many manuscripts he wrote of his memories from the day of the poisoning). The firefighters come, but they eye the sisters with suspicion, causing them to run and hide in the woods surrounding the property. While all this is going on, Charles is worried about the money in the safe.

"Pulling Constance, I hurried under the trees, in the darkness; when I felt my feet leave the grass of the lawn and touch the soft mossy ground of the path through the woods and knew that the trees had closed in around us I stopped and put my arms around Constance. 'It’s all over,' I told her, and held her tight."

While hiding in the forest, Merricat says that she'll poison everyone and Constance acknowledges that Merricat had done that once before, six years before, by putting arsenic in the sugar as payback for having been sent to the bedroom without dinner.

"'I put it in the sugar.' 'I know. I knew then.' 'You never used sugar.' 'No.' 'So I put it in the sugar.'"

Morning comes and the sisters come out of their hiding spot to see the damage that happened to the house. Most of it is gone, but they decide to clean the few rooms that didn't get crushed or burned and keep living there. Due to the lack of a roof, the house now looks like a castle (hence the title) and with time, vines grow to cover the remaining structure. Charles, who had survived the fire, tries to talk to Constance again, but she rejects him.

The Blackwood sisters become a short of local legend and villagers leave offerings of food in their doorsteps. They go on with living happily in the house, having only each other's company, because they don't need anything else.

"'I love you, Constance,' I said. 'And I love you, my Merricat.'"

Like a said before, they are not canonically incestuous, but it isn't difficult to see why they are so shippable. They protect each other at all costs and can barely function when separated. Since the book ends with them going into isolation, who knows what feelings might come to light?