#she’s the kind of person who I’ve given her things and she keeps them on her desk but also just goes oh thanks

[rendezvouz-fling]

Synastry/Composite placements as I’ve experienced it.🥂

Aqua Moon conjunct Aqua Sun - I was the moon person and they were the sun person. I felt very comfortable with them and felt like they projected my inner thoughts/behavior. They felt very zen & accepting to me. They were also very understanding and fun to be around. Overall very familiar energy.

Pisces Sun conjunct Pisces moon - I was the sun person and they were the moon person. This really goes both ways with me. I either find them extremely childish and overly sensitive or quiet reserved, kind and humble. Anywho, they somewhat feel like an extension of me but a more sensitive one. (I literally feel like I have to walk on eggshells around them most times💀)

Pisces Sun opposite Virgo moon - I was the sun person, they were the moon person. Ugh I can’t express how many times I tend to clash with these people. All I’m for they’re against, all I’m against they’re for. I like that they’re punctual and practical people which is great, yet some of them nag too much and tend to be straight pessimists…

Leo Rising - I have this with my best friend whom I've known for almost 7 years now and it's honestly the best composite rising I've experienced so far! We're always cheering each other up and on to do great things and have fun. We always have each other's backs. We like to troll people sometimes and act like comedians. 😂 We exaggerate things and agree to each other's delusions. Act like we're on top of the world and we can take on anything/anyone together. And there's this strong sense of loyalty between us. Literally ride or die placement!

4H mars/8H mars - My mars falls in my best friend's 4H and I'm very affectionate and nurturing towards her. I listen to her and make her feel validated. I also feel like I've gotta protect her in a way. It comes as no surprise that she sees me as a sister, given the 4H is related to family. On the flip side, her mars falls in my 8H and she acts protective over me. Like if someone said something that hurt my feelings or if they just started the minimalistic of arguments, she's quick to jump in at my defense. Ironically, her Natal mars is in her 4H and mine is in my 8H so maybe that's why it also feels pretty natural to us.

8H asc/6H asc - So, I have this step cousin who's rising falls in my 6H and he acts hella reserved. Not specifically cold, just doesn't talk to me much. My rising falls in his 8H and I always feel so shy around him for no reason. I'll wanna say something but just keep it in my thoughts. Very indirect talking and shyness. We have Virgo rising in composite.

Aqua Venus - If it's in water houses (4/8/12) there's a more affectionate nature, bonus if it's at a water degree. That goes for all composite Venus anyways. Aqua Venus tends to feel like there's emotional detachment. Like when you get too close they pull away or vice versa.

11H asc - I can't begin to stress how awkward and uncomfortable this overlay isss. It depends though, me being a Gemini rising, I find it more uncomfortable with Leo risings sometimes, than I do if my rising falls in a Cancer rising's 11H. I love Leo risings though.

Gemini Rising-Gemini Venus - My ex's Venus falls in my 12H and doesn't even touch my rising, yet it was love at first sight. He loves telling me about his day, playfully teasing me. He's also hilarious and has a very similar sense of humor as mine. We have Aries sun/mercury/venus in composite.

10H Pisces Venus-Pisces mars - My ex's mars conjuncts my Venus and he used to be very protective of me. Very much the "my girl this, my girl that" type. 😂 Because Pisces falls in my 10H, I've always seen him as very chill, responsible and easy going.

Cancer rising - There's always a nurturing vibe there, no matter the other placements. I had this with an ex and we talked a lot about having kids, there was also a sense of family there. It tends to be a very sweet placement, where one of you (or both) are sweet talkers.

10H mercury - I had this with an ex and they thought I was very smart and would often ask me meaning of certain things. 🥲 I also find others who have their mercuries in my 10H are very well spoken and give off sophisticated vibes.

3H - I am a suckerrr for people who have placements in my 3H *cough* Leo placements *cough* I just find them so intriguing and that we tend to have a lot in common!! I usually bond with people over music, so I find that Leo venuses/mercuries have the best taste and put me onto a lot of music! Leo moons that fall in my 3rd house, opposite my 9H Aqua moon and I tend to get along with them better than those that fall in my 2H. Leo suns that fall in my 3H feel like those curious siblings that wanna share and know everything! Definitely a personal fav!!

[cheriladycl01]

Crash into my life - Lance Stroll x Civil Servent! Reader

Plot: You work in a fancy government job, pretty boring 9-5 but Lance Stroll and his insurance claim makes your job that little bit better

Your job wasn’t exactly fun, wasn’t exactly boring. It was one of those jobs that you’d got it at a young age and worked your way up through the ranks as you’d got better and better and because it was safe and something you were good at you stuck with it.

To keep it short and sweet you were a civil servant. Not like 007 kind of crazy stuff but you did work for MI6 in their fraud, tax and insurance department.

You basically took over insurance claims that were over a certain threshold and had to go through the government for … whatever reason whether they are a foreign National claiming in the UK or something.

Usually it was boring matters such as Chelsea Football Club claiming compensation for things as simple as water damages etc. You didn’t even really get to see anyone, you had the data and you analysed it against the scenario and hey presto you made your pay out.

Your favourite time of the year was winter. More claims came through and life was more unpredictable thanks to the whether. Delayed train into London St Pancreas? No tubes working so you have to make the 20 minute walk to your office building from the station. Slipping on ice, it was the only excitement you got in life which was honestly kind of sad.

For you it started at as a normal Monday. You woke up at 7am, brushed your teeth, got into a nice corporate appropriate outfit, got on the train, got a coffee from Pret before heading into your building.

That was your routine, and you didn’t often differ from it unless you had holiday booked. But working a 9-5 Monday - Friday often meant that you

But it felt like there was a different buzz today around the building like there was something going on.

When you all went into the morning briefing for the cases you’d get today, everyone was way too excited for 9am and the start of the day. You sat down next to your office buddy Shiv and looked around confused.

“What in earth is going on with everyone?” You ask looking over at Shiv who’s typing away on her laptop taking in information.

“Apparently there’s some really interesting cases to work on up for grabs today” she explains and you nod knowing once every blue moon some exciting things would crop up and have the whole office acting like kids on Christmas.

You’re all still waiting for the department boss to come in, joining in conversations about what could possibly be happening today.

“Ladies and Gents please take a seat for the meeting to commence. Thank you. Thank you” he offers smiling and everyone gets comfy.

“So we’ve got some exciting stuff today. I’ve formed a team to deal with the Train Networks Claim, that’ll be Shiv, Brayden and Ravi” he says and they all nod writing in their pads what tasks they’d have to do today.

He went through all of them apart from you, before dismissing the meeting. You were slightly confused and therefore packed up yours things a little slower than everyone else to see if you could stay behind and ask why you hadn’t been given an assignment.

“Y/N could you stay behind so I can talk to you for a moment” he asks and you nod, going to the end of the long conference table where he was stood.

“I like you, you’re young and learn quickly and I want you to progress more than you already have so I’m giving you a really important case. You’ll actually get to meet the said person affected, he’s … of high value so be considerate of your wording when talking to him. Alright thank you, here’s the case! Have a report to me by Friday” he offers and you nod happily. You take a seat opening up the material seeing the name of the claimer immediately.

Lance Stroll

You read through the facts, apparently he crashed his Aston Martin driving down the M1 to get to Silverstone into some sort of government van.

After analysing some of the data yourself, a knock comes on your office door from one of the younger interns.

“Erm, Y/N there’s two men in suits here to see you?” She asks rather than tells you, it wasn’t common for people to come in and out of the building due to the confidentiality of the work conducted here.

“Send them in please, but before you do ask them if they want anything. Tea, Coffee, Water” you smile and go back to reading another report from a police officer who was on the scene of the accident.

You watch as two men walk into your office space. One looking younger maybe the same age as you and one looking significantly older which you assumed was the dad.

“Good morning” you smile lightly before going back to some data on your computer. They took a seat, patiently waiting for you to address them.

Lawrence, who you’d just read about in the report who was indeed the father, cleared his throat as if to get your attention.

“Give me one minute Mr Stroll and I’ll be right with you” you smile, still nose in your computer.

“We’ve come all this way to the city centre to see you it would be appreciated if you didn’t waste our time” he huffs and even just from this reaction a bubbling of excitement started in you, just at the promise of actually seeing a client and talking to them in the flesh.

“I understand that, but I won’t be able to tell you much unless I see all the data” you say looking up at them through your glasses. This time you notice Lance and how he’s just sort of staring at you.

“Can I help you Mr Stroll?” You ask looking over him.

“No, I’m all good. Take your time” he smiles and you nod. In 5 minutes you believe you’ve combed through enough data to talk to them.

“This is awfully interesting I almost never get to see the people behind the claim” you smile happily and they both nod.

“Okay so so far from what I can see is there was a crash in your vintage Aston Martin that was for an event at Silverstone, the race track and that you got into a collision with a government van trailing a foreign national?” You ask.

“In short terms, yes … but” Lawrence tries to declare.

“And you weren’t present Mr Stroll” you say looking in the direction of the older man.

“No I wasn’t” he huffs out.

“Okay, then I will ask you to just step out my office while I get an account of the events from your son, if that’s alright with you. Just down the corridor there’s a waiting room there, help yourself to the food and drink in there” you smile hoping to butter him up a little to get him out.

“Alright” he says before taking his leave.

“Okay Mr Stroll lets…” you start but he interrupts you.

“Lance, please just call me Lance” he offers and you nod.

“Well Lance, it’s not … looking great” you start of slowly and he looks at you shocked.

“What do you mean? Your guys went into me?” He says raising his voice slightly and you give him a stern look that has him sinking into his seat.

“Don’t come into my office and raise your voice when I’m doing my best to help you!” You exclaim placing a pad in front of him.

“Sorry it’s just that my dad isn’t happy already that i totalled a car that was needed for race day” he sighs rubbing his temples.

“Ahhh so you’re an F1 driver. Or is it NASCAR because of the accent?” You ask and he looks shocked as if you were supposed to know who he was.

“Er F1” he offers and you nod.

“You any good?” You ask writing done some more notes as you watch the camera on the government vehicle as Lance’s car didn’t have one.

“Excuse me?” He chokes out and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Well I mean im currently looking at your claims for a super car that you totalled and so I can’t help but ask if your any good” you tease and once he heard the tone he gets it and just rolls his eyes.

“Oh haha laugh it up” he says and you do.

“Im sorry but this is quite possibly the most fun I’ve ever had in this job. It’s rather boring most days so I’m just making the most of it” you smile and he smiles back.

“Okay I can see that they did in fact turn into you. And of course I’m here for the people. The issue is where your Canadian. I can pay out what the car was worth when you originally brought it, but 50,000 for the fact that it was an accident on our part” you say and he thinks for a moment.

“No” is all he says and you look over at him in shock.

“Sorry? What do you mean no, no is my final decision” you say crossing your arms.

“I would like to add something else to the 50,000 on top of the car value” he smiles and you nod, wondering what it could possibly be and admiring the boldness of his statement.

“Id like to take you out to dinner” he smirks and your head shoots up from your laptop.

“I- i cant do that… it’s not professional. I could get told off. I could loose my job.” you admit knowing that if people were to find out about your payout and think it was bad then they’d be asking questions to you.

“Oh come on it’s just dinner to say thank you for being so … helpful” he smiles leaning forward in his seat and you shake your head.

“Fine, dinner it is” you smile.

That was the start of something way bigger than just dinner.

y/user

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y/user: Work has been rather interesting lately 👀🏎️

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lance_stroll: thank you for having another look for me 👍🏼

-> y/user: 🫣you’re welcome Mr Stroll

-> lance_stroll: you’re making me feel old ☹️

user: is that whose car I think it is bestie?

-> y/user: it sure is 🏎️

user: need to catch up soon babe, Pret tomorrow morning?

-> y/user: sure thing!

user: Civil Service < Serving Cu*t 🥰

Instagram Story Caption:

Back in the Office wiv Shiv 🌸

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[vanteguccir]

chris/matt’s gf confessing she feels anxious and insecure and is worried they’re going to leave her for someone else

── ୨୧ !　a small blurb where you confess your insecurities to Matt

　　　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

Y/N sat on the couch, legs tucked beneath her, her fingers nervously twisting a strand of her hair. Matt was in the kitchen, his back to her as he prepared dinner. The rhythmic sound of chopping vegetables should have been soothing, but Y/N's mind was a storm of anxious thoughts.

She had been feeling this way for weeks now, the gnawing fear that Matt would leave her for someone else. It was irrational. She knew that. Matt had never given her a reason to doubt his love, even with all the girls who threw themselves at him for his fame or all the things she read on the internet about him. He was always there for her, always attentive, always caring. But the fear had taken root deep within her, growing stronger with each passing day.

"Hey, dinner's almost ready." Matt called out, turning to flash her a warm smile. His eyes crinkled at the corners, the way they always did when he was genuinely happy. It made Y/N's heart ache with love and fear in equal measure.

She knew she had to tell him. She couldn't keep bottling up her insecurities, letting them fester and poison their relationship. But the thought of voicing her fears made her stomach churn. What if he thought she was being ridiculous? What if he got angry or, worse, decided she was too much trouble and left?

Matt must have sensed something was off because his smile faded, replaced by a look of concern. He walked over to the grey couch, sitting down beside her and taking her hands in his.

"Hey, dove, what's wrong? You seem really tense."

Y/N took a deep breath, her heart pounding so hard she was sure he could hear it.

"Matt, I... I need to talk to you about something. It's been bothering me for a while now."

He squeezed her hands gently, his eyes searching hers, frowning in concern and worry.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that, right, babe?"

She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I know, but it's hard..." She paused, taking a deep breath. "I've been feeling really anxious and insecure lately. I can't shake the fear that you're going to leave me for someone else. I don't know..." She lowered her eyes in shame.

Matt's brow furrowed in confusion and concern.

"Why would you think that? I've never given you a reason to doubt me, have I?"

"No, no, you haven't. Never." Y/N said, her voice trembling. "You've always been amazing. But I can't help it. I'm so scared that you'll find someone better, someone who isn't as insecure and anxious as I am. Someone who is at the same level as you're, who's famous and rich... And who looks like a model."

Matt’s brow furrowed with a mix of sadness and worry. He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before responding.

"Y/N." He began, his voice gentle yet firm. "You are amazing just the way you are. I don't care about fame, money, or looks. None of that matters to me. What matters is you, the person I fell in love with. Your heart, your kindness, your intelligence. Those are the things that make you special to me."

He paused, making sure she was really listening, his hands still holding hers tightly.

"I'm not interested in someone who’s just a pretty face or has a lot of money. I want someone who understands me, who I can share my life with, and who loves me for who I am. And that's you, Y/N. I don’t want anyone else."

Matt leaned closer, his eyes searching hers for any sign that she was beginning to understand.

"Your insecurities and anxieties don’t make you less to me. They’re part of what makes you human, what makes you real. And I love every part of you, even the parts that you find hard to love yourself. You're not just enough for me; you're everything I’ve ever wanted and more."

He cupped her face in his hands, his thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped down her cheek.

"Please don’t ever think you have to compare yourself to anyone else. You are irreplaceable to me, Y/N. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. We’ll face your fears together, one step at a time."

Y/N’s tears flowed freely now. She leaned into Matt's touch, feeling the warmth and sincerity in his words wash over her. She buried her face in his chest, the warmth of his embrace soothing her frayed nerves.

"But what if I push you away with my fears? What if I become too much for you to handle?"

He cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes.

"That won't happen. I'm here for the long haul, no matter what. We all have our insecurities, and it's okay to feel the way you do. What's important is that we talk about it, just like we're doing now."

Y/N sniffled, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"You always know just what to say."

Matt chuckled, brushing a tear from her cheek.

"That's because I love you, and I hate seeing you upset. We're a team, remember? We'll get through this together." He repeated.

She nodded, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders.

"Thank you, baby. I feel a little better now."

He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering against her skin.

"Anytime, love. Now, let's go finish dinner before it burns."

Y/N laughed, the sound light and free. As they stood and walked back to the kitchen hand in hand, she felt a sense of peace settle over her.

[snookienthusi4st]

OMGGG SO I SAW YOUR HCS ABOUT KYOYA AND I HAD TO ASK ONE TOO. Can your write a Kyoya x reader ( the reader is a commoner like Haruhi ) AND LIKE KYOYA SPOILS HER ??AND FELL IN LOVE WITH HER LIKE WHEN HARUHI INTRODUCE HER TO THE CLUB . Maybe fluff . TYSM ILY🤍🤍🤍

this req is so cute wtf, watch me lock in and do hcs PLUS drabbles :3

kyoya x commoner fem! reader hcs

warnings: none, just language like always

no nsfw under the cut, just suggestive

• safe to say you two definitely met through haruhi

• haruhi’s a close friend of yours and she invites you to come and take a look at the club after school

• since you guys wanna spend more time together but school + work gets both of you busy

• so when you come in with haruhi who’s normally by herself and assumed to not have a social life outside of the host club, nothing short of chaos ensues

• i pity you if you have a short social battery bc you’re gonna be pulled in every which way by our fav short tempered blondie!

• you get to meet tamaki first obvi, given he’s usually the first one to meet haruhi at the door most days anyways

• he’s super cliche in a good way, greeting you happily and telling you how pretty your name sounds

• and then haruhi eventually swats his ass off the both of you and walks you further in to take your first look around

~

your shoes click against the floor as your hand remains lightly holding hers, your eyes wandering around the room as she guides you through it. “you never told me how pretty this place was, haruhi,” you murmur, your gaze still shifting to different spaces.

she scoffs softly, but there’s no malice in her voice with her next words. “it’s less exciting after you’ve gotten used to it, but i’m happy you like it,” she replies sincerely, tilting her head slightly to watch your expression as you look around.

~

• for plot’s sake, you know everyone by name already and like their upbringing/family because haruhi’s been keeping you up to speed

• so today was just a matter of seeing everyone’s faces for the first time and getting to meet them in person

• after a while you and haruhi get some tea and find somewhere to sit, just chatting and enjoying each other’s company

• and he’s walking around and making sure the guests are pleased like tamaki and the other hosts are, and that’s how you end up meeting each other

• he was charming as always, it wasn’t a surprise you fell for him

~

“so which twin ended up being pink?” you ask with a smile, earning a stunted chuckle from haruhi as she finishes her tea. “your guess is good as mine.”

“you all seem to make a surprisingly good team, considering your unorganized ‘king of the host club,’” you mutter teasingly, taking another sip of your tea. “i’d say the same,” she agrees, “but i’d say some hosts take care of things better than others.”

another set of shoes is heard against the floor, and haruhi seems to recognize the pair. she looks to the right of you, and you tilt your head to follow her gaze. your eyes soften. he’s gorgeous.

“speaking of which,” haruhi continues, as he moves to stand beside you two’s shared table. “have i introduced you to kyoya yet?”

“ootori?” you confirm quietly, your voice died down from an awe of some kind. he seems to notice and a ghost of a smirk is on his face as he nods.

“i’ve heard your family spoken of highly,” you say politely, lifting your hand out for him to shake. “it’s nice to finally meet you.”

he eyes your hand for a moment, his gaze a bit softer from your words as he takes it and kisses the back of it, haruhi’s eyes just barely widening at the rare sight. his response is a quiet mumble against your hand before he lets go. “likewise.”

~

• it’s easy to tell he likes you

• he’s not usually very affectionate with guests unless he knows it’s needed to satisfy them

• he talks with haruhi about like budgets and things for a quick second and then goes back to work

• but he can’t stop thinking about you

• so naturally he wants to see you again, and drops like crazy subtle hints to haruhi that she’s allowed to bring around her friends

• and our lovely haruhi takes the bait and brings you back around, and slowly it becomes a common occurrence

• you’d meet up with her after school and you’d walk to music room 3 together, and you’d catch up with her or help each other study while the other hosts paid you two sporadic visits

• except kyo, he’d make an effort to come see you everytime

• this goes on for a couple months

• and after a while you started catching on because the man is not as sneaky as he thinks he is

• so naturally you end up asking him out one day while haruhi’s away and hosting

~

“ootori?”

he looks up from his laptop and meets your eyes, a silent sign for you to continue talking. “is it hard developing romantic feelings for people as a host?”

he hums in contemplation and shakes his head. “i’d say it’s about the same, considering this is nothing more than a job for me,” he murmurs truthfully, a slight smirk brimming on his face as he adds, “why do you ask? are you falling for a host?”

you shrug. “maybe. but it’s hard to tell if i should do anything about it.”

“and why’s that?”

“hosting is nothing more than a job for them,” you retort softly, a hint of a smile on your face as you look back down at the paper you’re working on. he’s silent for a moment as he takes in your words, before his collected facade transitions into something softer.

“and how would you feel if you were their one exception?” he inquires nonchalantly, his confession making your eyes widen slightly as you look back up at him.

“i think you should kiss me,” you ask bluntly, your words tentative but genuine. you don’t have to ask him twice, and it’s light and careful but his lips meet yours and his free hand moves to the back of your head to gently hold you still.

there’s a calmer look on his face that mirrors yours once he pulls away, his words soft and clear and almost teasing. “i think you should start calling me by my first name.”

you don’t fight the widening of your tiny smile and nod in understanding, gently pulling him in by his uniform collar for another kiss. he leans into and returns it, and it’s right now that he realizes he’s never gonna get enough of you.

~

[justkending]

Mr. & Mrs. Hunt (Chapter 3/7)

Mini-Series Summary: Two of the most stubborn people in the group partnered together for an undercover mission are also the two people with the most hatred for each other, so what could go wrong? Or is it, what COULDN’T go wrong?…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger Reader

Word Count: 2100+

A/N Note: I was typing away for the next chapter to come, so chapter 4 will be posted tomorrow (it will also be longer too)! Thank you again for all the support and love you've shown me for this series :) Love all you guys!

_________________

Bucky’s POV:

Why’d I think she’d be able to handle an adult conversation as soon as I started getting serious? When will I fucking learn?

I waited until Y/N shut her door before I went back out to the living room. She drove me insane, but I decided to keep up the habit of staying up late for her. 

During one of her drunken nights at one of Tony’s galas, she had revealed that she preferred sleeping when someone else was awake. In exposing her reason why, it made me sympathize with her trauma. 

“It’s like having a night watch. If someone else is aware, I can put my guard down. Not that that even happens often enough, but oh well,” Y/N drunkenly swayed the side of her silk dress from left to right as she watched the people on the dancefloor.

I knew the feeling of never being able to fully settle into sleep or relaxation because you’d seen all the horrors in the world. We knew what lurked out there and the consequences of someone getting the jump on you.

So, from the first night here, I would stay up in the living room until midnight, sometimes later. Like clockwork, soon after 11 pm, she’d startle awake from a nightmare. I could hear her breathing and heart rate thanks to my enhancements, and I may or may not have channeled them into her room, given the nightmares she’d had in the past. 

So far, there were none so bad to the point I had to go in and check on her, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tuned in to her room and checking every night in case the tides turned. 

Even on the nights she frustrated me like tonight and made me reconsider why I was about to talk to her about… this. This chemistry that was starting to feel closer to real than fake. A feeling I can’t seem to shake, and now I’m wondering if I’m imagining it. Especially when she can’t seem to turn off her annoyance for me even when I think we finally have met in the middle to some extent.

Then again, I lead on that I don’t understand her when it’s quite the opposite. Her story is not far from most of the people who are recruited into our team. A form of a hostage situation where her choices were taken, and she was conditioned to serve some sadistic asshole until she was freed by her own doing. At least her own variation of that… Anyone coming from that kind of situation tends to bond easily over the trauma. 

Not Y/N though…

I never start by being rude to someone. I mean, I’ve been told I’m intimidating and can come off as a terrifying giant assassin, but people in the same field who have seen far worse don’t tend to take that personally, considering almost everyone I work with knows my backstory and the reason behind my resting-assassin-face. 

But Y/N, for some reason, was very standoffish with me from the get-go. For the first few months of us knowing each other, she ignored me, left the room when I came in, found an excuse for another partner on missions, and a list of other things that quickly made me believe she wanted nothing to do with me. 

I may have reciprocated her behavior here and there, growing her annoyance with me even though I didn’t know where the annoyance had begun. I couldn’t help it, given the nasty looks and pure irritation that steamed off her when she looked my way.

I think the sentiment behind her feelings towards me still stands. But then her comment tonight, “I don’t hate you,” got to me.

I threw the laptop I had tried to use to distract myself again to the side. The TV was on, but all I heard was the patterned thumping in my chest starting to grow. 

“No. I want to know fucking why,” I grumbled, standing up abruptly and stomping down the hall to the master bedroom.

The door was shut, and from how she looked, she may have already tucked into bed for the night, but oh well. We were going to talk this out. I couldn’t go another day trying to decipher these feelings and confusions. 

I heard a “Jesus!” from the other side after my metal arm rapped three strong knocks in the center of the light sage-colored door. I banged again when I didn’t hear movement to follow up with it. 

“Calm down, Paul Bunyan! No need to chop the damn door down. I was seconds from sleep,” she groaned before the door flung open, and she squinted up at me with the hall light bringing brightness to her near pitch-dark room. “What? What is it?” Before I could start my sentence, she tensed and looked around me vigilantly. “Shit. Did something happen?” 

I shook my head quickly and instantly saw her shoulders go back and the grogginess return. 

“I want to talk.” 

She screwed her eyebrows up at me. “Dude. Seriously?” 

“Seriously, dude,” I replied sarcastically, pushing past her into her room, turning on the light, and hearing a protest I was too annoyed to listen to.

“It can’t wait until fucking morning when my brain isn’t at 2%?” she crossed her arms, watching me from the doorway. 

“Be real. Your brain doesn’t go below 75% even when you’re sleeping,” I answered, knowing the reality of never being able to shut off fully. Being constantly aware and on the edge of your seat, ready to pounce. 

She eyed me since it wasn’t a diss, and I could see her debating whether or not it was a compliment. 

“What do you-” 

“You say you don’t hate me, but it sure as fuck doesn’t feel like it. From day one, it has felt the very opposite of that,” I cut her off with a harsh laugh at the end, getting right to the chase. 

I’m standing at the end of her bed, arms crossed, and keeping an intense stare on her. Her stance straightens, and she shuffles her weight on her feet, arms mimicking mine. 

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about it,” she said in a guarded tone. “What changed?” 

“I can’t go on with this if I don’t know,” I answered honestly, motioning between us. 

“I argue you have to go on with this either way,” she popped a hip, leaning against the threshold of the door frame. 

“Y/N,” I level my eyes at her, and I can see her take in the seriousness in my features. “Just tell me why.” 

She looks at me with a tilt of her head as if considering her options in how she wants to approach this conversation. 

“We just don’t- mesh well…” she says slowly as if trying to sell it, but even she knew she was lying out of her ass. 

“Bullshit. Try again,” I shook my head once and kept my eyes trained on her. 

“Bullshit? You wanted to know-”

“I wanted to know the truth. You’re selling bullshit, and not very well, might I add. Be honest. Now.” 

She huffed a laugh before blinking at me. 

“We’re the same ranking if you’ve forgotten. Therefore, I won’t be taking commands from you, especially with that tone. But since you’re so hellbent on knowing my reasoning, maybe consider how you talk to me.” She took three slow steps closer to me as she spoke. “So ask me again without being a military servant, and maybe I’ll consider staying civil with you.” 

She is one of a very select few kinds of people actually able to intimidate me. Her story was one to compete against mine. Though not many knew all the details since she was adamant about people being in the dark about it, we all knew what she was capable of. Her enhancements, although similar to mine, were not nearly as strong in most aspects. However, that didn’t deter her from being able to take a man quadruple my size down and keep them there.

I knew enough about her brain to know that it was one of the sharpest ones I had come across in my time. Everyone on the team had enough experience in this life to be able to manipulate a lot of situations, but Y/N was the queen of manipulating a situation to work out better for her and her team. It was like she was five steps ahead constantly, and it could be intimidating at times- not going to lie. A strategy someone in our field would think they had down until they saw her ridiculous efficiency at work. Hence, why she was her own kind of weapon for our team.

I give a single nod in acknowledgment, knowing my intensity would be matched and not work in my favor. 

“You say you don’t hate me, and after these few weeks, I’m starting to believe you somewhat. However, our history keeps me from following that hope,” I answer. 

She seems to take something from my confession and lock it in her mind for later use. 

“Our history is complicated,” she replies, looking me up and down subtly and then moving to the side of the bed where the sheets were disturbed. 

I now notice the detail that only one side of the bed was disrupted while the other stayed perfectly made. My own detail to lock away for later. 

“But why? Who said it had to start like that?” My hands go up. She gives me a look like I should know the answer to that and I raise my eyebrows. “You think I’m to blame for our bickering and aimless fights?”

She scoffs, “I wouldn’t say aimless. There are definitely targets to be hit.” 

“Cut the shit.” 

“No shit to cut,” she counters quickly, sitting on the edge of the bed with one leg under her and shrugging. 

“I’m trying to have an adult conversation, and you’re acting like an angsty teenager.” I deadpan, attempting to keep the twitch in my eye at bay.

“And you’re acting like a crotchety old man who demands my respect,” she shouts back. “Ever think maybe that could be the reasoning behind our never-ending feuds?” 

“How could I? You don’t talk to me unless you're dissing me, fighting me, or attempting to make me look bad,” I give a large fake smile. 

“Take a fucking hint then, Grandpa,” she enunciates her curse. 

So I do. I backtrack our conversation and come to a conclusion. Maybe it's not an accurate one, but it's an idea nonetheless. 

“You think I demand respect from you? When have I ever told you that you have to have respect for me?” I asked, more confused than angry now- but definitely not low in anger either.

She stares at me, contemplating her answer. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t get into this,” she waves between us minutely, diverting her eyes to the bathroom door on the wall to the left.

“I won’t be able to sleep tonight if-”

“Not much different than most nights. Welcome to the crew,” she huffed, shifting to adjust her blankets over her in an irritated mood. 

“Why are you so against talking this out?” I growl, forgetting all sense of mental clarity and stomping to her side of the bed, aggressively throwing her blankets off her. “Stop trying to go to bed and talk to me like an adult.”

“An adult?” She takes in a high-pitched breath and stands straight in front of me. “You’re the one who just threw my blankets off like a toddler throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get a cookie after dinner! Sorry to break it to you.” Her finger jabbed into my chest. “But I owe you nothing, Barnes! I owe no explanation. I owe no respect. I owe no reason for how I choose to act around you.” 

I was pissed. Royally pissed, and yet… I couldn’t seem to see past the pure sadness in her eyes. The actual pain that she tried so hard to hide, but in her state- the state I had put her in- she was losing the battle. She was losing it and yet not breaking her eyes from mine, knowing I could see it.

My intensity shriveled slowly as seconds passed, and she didn’t try to fight the tremble on her lip. 

“What did I do?” I asked softly, my hands instinctively coming to her arms, but the touch made her break the eye contact and turn fast, making my hands drop. “Y/N, what did I do?” 

And I meant it. What had I done, and how could I change it?

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @death-unbecomes-you @mythos-writes​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​  @srrymydood​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @xa-dia​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @redhairedfeistynerd​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @morganclaire4​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @connie326​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @captain-asguard​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @mollygetssherlockcoffee​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @livstilinski @basicallylool​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @starryeyeseunbyul​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

My Lovelies Forever:

@natura1phenomenon​ @lauravicente​ @kakakatey​ @traceyaudette​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​ @sandlee44​ @thorne93​ @thefaithfulwriter1​ @essie1876​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @capsiclehan​  @xostephanie​ @averyrogers83​ @awesomenursingstudent​ @gh0stgurl​ @cs-please​ @jjlevin​ @rainbowkisses31​ @deannotmoose​ @their-bibliophile​ @kitkatd7​ @willowbleedsonpaper​ @mariaenchanted​ @snffbeebee​ @couldabeenamermaid​ @rebekahdawkins​​ @alyispunk​​ @billyseye @hallecarey1​​

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker​ @charmedbysarge​ @jbarness​ @bellamy-barnes​ @katiaw2​ @aikeia​ @stopjustlovethemcu​ @enchantedbarnes

Mr. & Mrs. Hunt Series:

@jackiehollanderr @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @theroyalmanatee @wintrsoldrluvr @alexakeyloveloki @learisa @bxckybxrnes24 @lillianacristina @selella @heletsmelovehim

[darkbluekies]

How would the yans react if their darling is already dating someone else

Warnings: killing, kidnapping

Silas: 

He hates to see you laugh and smile with someone who isn’t him. He knows he shouldn’t approach you. You’re so … pure, so normal … and he’s a beast lurking in the darkness. He knows that the second he approaches you, you’ll be sucked into his world and there won’t be a way out. But he cannot bare himself to watch you cling onto someone that isn’t him. Silas sighs. He could actually keep you safe if he really tried. If he doesn’t take you to be his, he will regret it for all eternity. He turns to his second in command. 

“See that person over there? The one leaning onto the one in gray? I want them. And I want the one in gray gone. Why? Personal reasons. Make sure that cute, little thing is in my basement by the end of the night, got it? Thank you.”

Dr Kry: 

His heart breaks when someone else tries to visit you at the hospital. It’s always the same person. He doesn’t dare to ask you about who it is, scared to hear the truth. Of course, he knows that it’s your significant other, but he doesn’t want to have it confirmed. A small part of him still hopes that it’s just a family member. Nonetheless, he has to get rid of them before you start to ask about them. Dr Kry pulls the threat into a supply closed, pressing a drenched cloth against the persons face. 

“Don’t take it personal, this is just for selfish reasons. It actually doesn’t have anything to do with you, just who you’re with. Y/N isn’t yours anymore and I’ve given you more than second chances to make you realize that … but here we are. Just go to sleep, breathe in. It’ll all be over soon.”

King Edmund:

He isn’t worried. He’s the king! Who can’t decline a king a favor? He doesn’t have to be worried about whoever has stolen your heart. Worst case scenario, he’ll rip you open and give you a new heart that only belongs to him. It can’t be so difficult, there are hundreds — if not thousands — of women who want him. If only you got to have one of their hearts …

“My good sir, I want to make a deal with you. You stay away from Y/N and I send you a portion of money every month to make sure you and your family can live comfortably. I know how hard you have it on your farm. All you need to do is to give me Y/N. Not hard, right? You’re winning. I’m taking her off your hands. You could never provide for her. If you refuse? How funny that you asked that … if you refuse, your entire bloodline will die.”

Jerry: 

Jerry hates being jealous, hates that someone can make her that insane. She hates the power you have over her, especially when you’re not doing anything. The person who leans on your shoulder makes her sick. She can’t watch any longer. She has to have you. Now. She storms over with her men behind her. They grab your partner, pulling them away and Jerry traps you in a corner. You trembling in front of her sends tingles down her body. She reaches out her hand, brushing your hair out of your face. 

“Don’t tremble, my love. You’re mine now. You’re with the wrong person. You might not understand it now, but I can assure you that you’re meant to be with me — be my little accessory. Don’t cry, I’m not going to hurt you for this. You had no idea. My pretty, little pet, you have no idea what kind of trouble you're pretty face has got you in …”

Hedwig:

She has been the best friend you could ever have. She has been by your side from the day you transferred … why didn’t you choose her to be your girlfriend? Hasn’t she been everything to you? Hedwig can feel a gaping hole in her heart when she sees you eating with someone else at lunch. She has to stay home. She can’t watch you be with someone else. All she does is cry in her bed. She doesn’t eat, doesn’t move, doesn’t bathe. A living zombie is what she’s become. One day, you come over to check up on her and she knows she has to take the chance.

“Y/N, you can’t do this to me! You have to break up with that … that bitch! P-Please! You have to be mine! I have to have you! I’m so lost without you! I can’t function without you! If … if you’re not going to leave them … I have to keep you here with me. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

[phoenixkaptain]

I love Stardew Valley and I love the community and I love how we all bond over pixelated chickens like we’re seventy-year-old women bonding over grandchildren- - -

But I get so annoyed with the character hate, like!!! All the characters are great!! All the romance-able characters are great!! I keep getting recommended videos about the bad parts of characters and I just want to scream!!

Penny: lovely. Charming. Kids are a big part of dating her because she teaches kids, of course she’s going to react a bit badly if you hate children. She is trying to teach kids so that they don’t have to have the same life she and her mother do, why do you hate this woman who is just anxious?

Shane: lovely. Charming. Perfect. “He still drinks after we get married, which ruins the whole story” NO. No. Shane is an alcoholic, and a severe one. If he quit cold-turkey, he would fucking die. “Harvey pumped his stomach” HE WOULD DIE. And I don’t care that my husband is messy, he has his own room and I don’t have to go over there!!

Maru: lovely. Charming. She hates working. She loves working on machines. She thinks about machines to build for you to make life easier. She’s adorable. She has a complicated relationship with her brother and I want to help them fix it goddangit because I love fictional siblings.

Elliott: lovely. Charming. An artist. He only leaves his home for like four hours a day. I can really relate to the desire to shave off all of one’s own hair. I feel that in my bones. Also, is friends with Willy and I fucking love Willy so A++

Leah: “she’s a lesbian” She’s fucking bi stop erasing bi rep in Bi Rep the Video Game

Sam: he’s a musician and a skater. This is what the perfect man looks like.

Emily: just the most charming. She has a complicated relationship with her sister because she takes care of her. She works at a saloon, how can someone not love a literal saloon worker? She’s crazy, she’s wild, she’s a flower child, I’m in love with her

Harvey: glasses. Doctor man. Occasionally puts on headphones to not so subtly hint that he doesn’t want to talk to you. This is what the perfect man looks lik-

Abigail: I don’t see a lot of people complain about Abigal, but I’ve seen a few and it just feels like- you guys love Sebastian so much but don’t like Abigail? What type of double standard is this?

Alex: everyone always says not to date him if your playing a female farmer, but honestly, his dialogue only cuts out parts if you play male. Like, he still says he felt different about you from day one even if you’re playing as a girl. The character affected the most by your gender choice in regards to dating Alex is George, and if you’ve already befriended George, he’ll apologize for being mean about your sexuality when he never even said anything mean about your sexuality, which is kind of funny

I never see people complain about Haley or Sebastian, which is fair, because Haley has a cute character arc and Sebastian loves frogs (this is what the perfect man lo-) My only problem is that people praise these two but rag on everyone else when I feel like all the characters are balanced pretty evenly in terms of good-bad traits.

Which trait is which is dependent on the person playing the game anyway, so when someone like me plays, I can’t help but find the characters perfect because I’m very forgiving when it comes to fictional characters’ undesirable traits. I mean, my favourite trait of all is stupidity, pure and unbridled, I’m talking facepalm-inducing, groan-worthy, the type of character people complain about the most; the type of stupid that makes people stop enjoying things. How can I dislike these characters who are cute and a bit awkward and so ready to bed the first hot farmer they come across even when that farmer sifts through their trash and passes out three steps away from their own house and drinks mayonnaise and would eat hay given half the chance. Like come on. They’re all moron-sexual. I can relate to that.

In conclusion: your favourite bachelor and/or bachelorette is as wonderful as you think they are and screw the people who try to tell you otherwise. The characters are great because they appeal to different people. Enjoy the game and enjoy the dating and I swear to God if I see another person say that certain farm layouts are bad because they don’t make enough money- the game doesn’t have a time limit! You can make as much money as you want! You could sell one sap everyday and nothing else and you would still be able to make it to however much money you desire to have. There’s not really a fast way to make ten billion gold, that doesn’t mean that the farm layouts you don’t like are bad and yes I’m ranting just because I love the slopes of the mining farm its layout is chamrjng and picturesque and provides a unique challenge to decorating and placing buildings and it’s actually the BEST farm layout because I just decided so and-!

Stardew Valley is a great game, 10/10 would recommend, and the new update is already great because I found carrot seeds and I like carrots :)

[honeydippedwaffles]

Smallest Drop - Part 4

Summary: Tav isn't sure how honest she can be with Astarion when any form of genuine emotion startles him into running away from her while he tries to figure out what more they can share beyond sex.

There will be a part 5. Astarion needs to learn to handle this new situation.

Content Warnings: She/Her Tav

Word Count: 2.5k words

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

They walked on a knife’s edge. It remained clear as day to her even if Astarion held the title of least forthcoming person in the world. A minor miracle given she spent so much time of her time trying to work out what Shadowheart’s situation entailed.

But Astarion trusted her with almost nothing and she didn’t have any certainty it would change.

She accepted it. The only problem she found dogging her was she understood almost nothing about what he wanted.

His teasing was obvious; honey words with so much falsity, they could drown her if she let them. She may have accepted his offers to spend the night tangled together had it not been for his expressions. His heart wasn’t in it and so she thought that too came of lies and mere fun.

So, she turned him down with just as much laughter.

Wyll warned her about it before she realised for herself. He commented while they shared a drink and she waxed her usual poetry about Astarion’s eyes.

“You must be careful,” Wyll said. “I’ve known plenty of men like him and they hide their emotions well but it makes it no less real. He’s going to think you’re not interested in him anymore.”

“But after what happened the first time, he’s the one who didn’t have fun.”

“Doesn’t matter. In his mind, you slept together once and just became what? Flirtatious friends? Without any definition, he’s going to think you didn’t enjoy it or presume you found a replacement.”

“Oh, that’s not what the problem was and you know it.”

“I do but he doesn’t.”

She pouted over her wine.

The night had been memorable for sure: his words sweet and his technique perfect but something ripped her away from it. As good as he was, nothing felt real. He moved with practised ease, forgoing any playful teases or comments she expected and replaced them all with generic compliments about her body.

When his teeth sunk into her neck, sharp and icy as they had been the first time, she’d seen a little more of him. He slowed down, stopped overwhelming her with sensation, and just existed. But when he’d moved away and she moaned his name softly, it sent him spiralling straight back into the act again and the compliments returned to lines from a script.

But she wasn’t exactly about to go and tell him she didn’t have fun. It would be a lie either way. She just saw no reason to rush into it once more.

Not until she understood him a little better.

“Can you imagine what he’d say if I brought something like this up? The thought of it alone provides enough anxiety to keep me quiet.”

Wyll chuckled. “I’ll tell Karlach for you. I’m sure she’ll happily proclaim the situation to the entire camp and the next city over.”

She rolled her eyes and drank from her goblet. “Don’t you dare.”

Without any events like the party though, she saw no opportunity to bring the problem back up and instead just returned his flirtations in kind. It worried her but she could find it in herself to break their little game with a topic as sensitive as emotions. Those were some of Astarion’s least favourite things.

Yet Wyll’s prediction appeared doomed to fruition and late one evening after she retired to her tent, she found herself wholly unable to sleep thanks to incessant whispering.

Not from her own mind (thank the gods) but from the only other tent close enough to hear into.

“I know vampires have no need of rest,” she said after skulking over, arms crossed over her chest. “But if that infernal book doesn’t keep quiet, it will likely drive me to madness.”

Astarion’s eyes darted up to her, smiling over the top as though he had no realisation of what he’d been doing. She adored the way the torchlight flickered over his skin and humiliated herself with how quickly irritation waned under his gaze.

“My apologies,” he hummed. “I’m so close to uncovering its secrets. I couldn’t bear to put it down yet.”

Sometimes, she wondered if she made the right decision handing the book to him instead of Gale. Though the wizard may have consumed the weave within, she likely would worry a little less.

“What are you hoping to gain from reading it?”

He traced the outside cover thoughtfully. “Books like this always hold power. With how well-guarded this one is, I can’t imagine what secrets it contains.”

“Seems dangerous.”

“Aren’t we all?”

He tucked the book back into a chest in his tent and lounged backwards on his bedroll, gesturing for her to join him. She did, sitting close but not quite touching, cross-legged instead of sprawled over the ground as she did when she invited him to stargaze with her.

If she had been more awake, she’d probably worry about accidentally upsetting him in any way. His voice soothed her usually but now it only put her on edge.

The perfect smile, composed through masterful talent and designed to make her happy, graced his lips. She knew she likely fell for his falsities more often than she thought but he wouldn’t catch her now.

She sat up straighter and waited, allowing him to speak first.

Eventually he did with a dramatic gesture. “I’ve finally figured you out and I must say, you surprised me. I’m impressed.”

“Thank you?”

He laughed but she didn’t join. “Normally, I’m incredibly good at sensing when people have, shall we say, other interests, but you managed to keep it quiet for longer than I thought possible.”

“I’m not sure if it’s the sleep deprivation but I really need a better explanation.”

He sighed, put out by her naiveness perhaps. “I overheard a comment from our resident cleric and I learned why our late-night trysts have come to an end. A pity. They were the one thing I looked forward to with perpetual doom looming.”

Her blood ran cold and she sat up a little straighter. “What?”

Astarion smiled as though they were merely friends gossiping about her newest fling. “Don’t worry, I’m happy for you, you know. What we had was a great deal of fun but that’s really all it was. I think it’ll be good for you to find your footing with something a little more permanent.”

Unsure if she was still half-asleep or not, she shook her head to try and understand. “Was that all I was to you?” she asked. “Fun?”

“Oh no, not at all. I mean, you were a lot of fun, but I understand even the best entertainment can get boring when you find somebody else.”

“Who else could I be sleeping with?”

“I don’t know if it’s gone that far,” he said with a chuckle. “Wyll’s rather stuck in the past, in more ways than one. He seems the type to really hold himself to a standard for the first time.”

Wyll? She glanced towards his tent on instinct, confused by the comment. The Blade of Frontiers certainly got along brilliantly with her; they’d made fast friends between shared stories but she held as much physical attraction to him as she did towards any of the others.

Though admittedly he hadn’t offered to taste her sweat yet so that gave him a small edge over certain friends.

“Astarion,” she said, making sure she didn’t falter when he answered her with the cutest hum. “I’m not doing anything with Wyll. He’s my friend but nothing more and even if you were right… I don’t think there’s anybody I would choose over you.”

“What? Why?”

“You must be blind if you’ve missed how I look at you.”

“I mean, obviously I’ve noticed your interest. If you didn’t like me, it would say everything about your taste but we had our fun. I really don’t mind so long as I can keep all those delicious memories of the time we spent together.”

“I mind dating Wyll though?”

“Really? He’s handsome enough for a fiend, don’t you think? And he certain suits your whole hero complex.”

“Hero complex?”

Astarion rolled his eyes. “Don’t take it personally, darling. Everybody loves your whole commitment to doing good deeds and I’ve almost developed an immunity to it. Almost. Regardless, Wyll suits you awfully well. Your future could be written into the history books, legends of saving poor, innocent puppies and then, when you get bored of your domestic life… well, I’ll definitely never oppose a quick, dirty affair.”

Her mouth tasted bitter at the idea.

“Well, you can imagine your fantasy however you want but I’m not going to be sharing anything more than a bottle of wine with Wyll.”

He appeared genuinely irritated at her insistence. She’d noticed his habit of baring his fangs when something annoyed him, often wanting to gently touch them. Why did this matter so much at him?

“Oh,” he finally said. “Glad to have cleared it up. You may want to tell Shadowheart before she blurts it to the entire Sword Coast.”

Shadowheart likely said nothing of the sort. None of her companions missed the small flame she held for Astarion.

None except him, it would seem.

“Are you upset because we haven’t slept together recently?”

The question caught him off-guard but he recovered quickly, smiling a familiar coy smirk as he answered. “I do admit, I’ve been worried for your mental health. They say it’s very bad to sleep alone, you know.”

Okay, so it had been related. She’d hoped he realised by himself that she wasn’t trying to slight or disregard him.

“Is it important to you?”

His smirk faltered, incredulous and confused. “Is what important to me?”

She gestured at the space between them, trying to convey herself as clearly as she could. “Fun, or whatever you keep calling it. Is that like a super big thing for us to do?”

Maybe she could make it all about her for now. She could pretend the problem came from her side rather than admitting to the truth.

He looked incredibly bored when he answered. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“As great as you are at everything, I don’t know, I was thinking we could share a relationship that’s a little more than just fun.”

“More?”

“Unless you’re not comfortable with it.”

She had genuinely confused him and he took a few seconds to think about it, gaze drifting off and over her shoulder to something else. When he looked back at her, his expression was unreadable.

“We… we can try for more,” he said. “If you want. You know, if that’s what was keeping you from enjoying the finer things of life, you needed only to say. We could have started on this whole ‘more’ thing days ago and then you can enjoy all of me, guilt-free.”

“Strangely, I enjoy more about your company than how talented you are in other fields,” she said, sarcastic. “If all I wanted was sex, I could have ditched you lot in the first town and hired a brothel. The heavens know I have enough gold.”

He scoffed. “You wouldn’t have half of it if you didn’t have an uncanny knack for finding merchants who will buy your junk.”

“And I wouldn’t have half the junk I do if not for the rogue I drag to every chest,” she teased.

“Ah so it’s not because of my talents, it’s because you don’t know what a lockpick is.”

She would laugh if she didn’t fear he may genuinely think that to be a reason she wanted him around. He may have pushed aside their earlier conversation but the worries lingered in her mind.

She’d spent too many hours with this man to have him believe she didn’t genuinely just enjoy his personality. She’d sketched his laugh lines, listened to the way he teased their friends, dragged him closer to the group so he stopped hovering in the darkness.

“Astarion?” she said and she ran her fingers over the back of his hand so he’d look at her. “Is it really so hard to believe I drag you around to these places because I like spending time with you?”

He chuckled. “Of course not. Have you met me?”

“As long as you know.”

He tilted his head towards her, red eyes burning through her with an unreadable emotion. “It’s the type of noble thing you do. You collect all these crazy people from their situations to save them. They might not be helpful to you in the future but maybe you can be their hero.”

“What?”

“Come now, nobody else would gather this little ragtag group just because we share an eye infection.”

“The only person I can think of who might’ve needed saving is Gale and I didn’t really do it because I wanted to be a hero,” she said. “And I suppose I tried to help you but you asked for assistance first and I wasn’t about to abandon some random vampire in the sun.”

“Well, you didn’t know I was a vampire then.”

She hesitated. “I really did. The eyes could have been drow parent or something but the fangs and the scar really gave you away.”

He chuckled so she hoped her words didn’t offend him. She didn’t know how he even felt about appearing so obviously like a vampire. If his appearance didn’t give him away though, she’d known the second he grabbed her and she felt the chill of death on her skin.

His lack of ability to lie when they found the boar made it even more clear.

She wanted to lace their fingers together but he’d moved his hands away, not even fully focused on her. Something in their conversation had confused him more than he cared to admit.

“You really are beautiful,” she chose to say. “I think it every day when I look at you.”

“Obviously,” he said. “Though it wouldn’t hurt for you to say it a little more. I’ve only heard those words from your mouth about four times which is nowhere near enough.”

She laughed. “Well, you are stunning. I can appreciate it even without our midnight visits.”

He sighed dramatically. “You know, with how against sex you are, I’m going to start to think you didn’t enjoy yourself at all.”

“I did but I just know you didn’t.”

He went still and she cursed herself for the thoughtless comment. She’d gotten too used to defending herself to the others by pointing it out that she spoke without intending to.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “I’ll never forget our night together. It was one of my favourites.”

Should she apologise? She wasn’t sure but before she could, he got up from his bedroll and smiled. After a moment of consideration, he pressed a light kiss to the side of her mouth awkwardly.

“Right,” he said. “I need to hunt before tomorrow. You should catch up on that rest.” And he left her alone, fingers brushing against the spot he kissed, wondering how she could fix this one.

Taglist: @cassiopeia-adaar , @yikes-buddy

[xkaidaxxxx]

Zuko x chubby reader

Mentions: body shaming, foul language, angst,aggression, lying, fluff?!

Simple! :) sorry for errors.

“You look very beautiful y/n.” Katara mentioned "Thanks. I decided it's time for a change." You replied. Katara's complement made you blush. Sokka was surprisingly good at cutting hair. He gave it layers and added braids that held your hair back. “ I agree with Katara” Mai spoke. You instantly felt horrible with the new hairstyle. Mai isn’t the one to express her feelings so that comment made you believe otherwise. Perhaps cutting your hair shouldn't have crossed your mind.

Aang noticed you playing with the charm bracelet you wore. It tells him a lot about how you feel. He noticed you'd touch a certain charm with the emotion you were feeling, such as anger, happiness, sadness, anxiety, etc.“Katara is right y/n. It suits you! Sokka did a great job.” He spoke. He had that nice big smile. “ New hair cut? Looks nice” Zuko said patting your back. You’ve been dating him for 4 months and you’re very thrilled about it. He’s very kind and romantic when alone with you.

The day went on by. Everyone was calm. You can hear the ocean tides and feel the wind blowing. “Tell her. I’m tired of hiding.” Mai said. Zuko rubbed his temples. “It’s not that simple Mai. I can’t dump her out of the blue.” He responded. You heard them. “You don’t even like her. Why did you agree on dating her?” Your tears slipped. You didn’t want to hear his answer. “Because…she’s saved me many times..and I felt bad. It looked like she was going to cry if I said no.That and how many guys do chubby girls date? Almost never. I’m giving her a little hope.” You cried silently. You felt sudden saddens and hate. Running towards the ocean Katara called out to you. “ Y/n we’re making lunch! Wanna come help?” You ignored her walking back and forth. The waves following your movement. You made a fist. Your anger was so out of control you created a storm. “ Hey! Y/n you created a problem here!” Sokka yelled as Aang used his air bending to keep the water from drenching them. “Sorry!” You took a few deep breathes calming away the storm and the crazy waves.

“What’s got you so upset?” Katara asked giving you a tight hug. “ I keep losing my arrows. Haha. I overreacted.” She knew you were lying. She’s your most trusted person. Katara understands your personality, sense of humor, and the way you just are. She whispered. “We can talk about it later.” You smiled and nodded. Lunch was yummy. Everyone’s stomach was content.

Another 3 months went by. All the same apparently Zuko still loves you and wants to spend was much time with you as possible. It was such bullshit. You heard him leave with Mai at midnight. You saw how they treated each other. The little things showed everything.

The ride on the ship was wild. Not because there was a storm or someone was throwing arrows,fire rocks or trying to drown you all. Simply because an argument started.

“ you have no right to be upset. I’ve known him longer. You don’t get it.” Mai said with a straight face. You couldn’t believe what she said. The fire nation is insane however a regular family took you in. You eventually met Zuko. “ Have no right to be upset!? Are you kidding me? Yeah, he was your childhood sweetheart or whatever but who followed behind him when he was exiled !? Me! Which one of us cared to help him emotionally? Me! I’ve given him all my love and support even if it meant I’d be killed on the spot for betraying the fire nation. You did nothing but hide underneath Azula’s shadow and power. Yeah, I have every right to be upset.” You replied tears falling down your cheeks. Everyone was witnessing this mess. You were smarter, stronger, and more reasonable than her. “Zuko out of all the mistakes you’ve made. Cheating on me is the worst one. I know I’m beautiful even if I’m skinny or not. Not many chubby girls get boyfriends you sure were right about that. You should’ve rejected me from the start because I don’t need your pity.” You spoke finally feeling relieved. You said everything you’ve been wanting to say. “You heard us that day? Why didn’t you confront us then?” Zuko asked looking Towards Mai and then at you. “I had hope that along the way you’d realize what you did was wrong and you’d fall in love with me. 3 months later it’s the same. Clearly, I was wrong. I’m done. I’m dumping your ass. I hope you feel guilty for body shaming and lying.” You replied holding onto Katara’s arm. You couldn’t help but do so. She’s your best friend since you’ve met her. “ One day there will be an amazing man who will fall in love with you. He’ll love everything about you.” Katara said. You smiled and hugged her. “ Awe!” Aang and Sokka said in unison.

Pt.2 is posted !!!

[danzaloreley]

Indée Fixe

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x harpy!Reader

Summary: A moment to shut down Xavier’s ass. And a moment to calm down Wednesday.

Jealousy is not a word for Wednesday or Y/N. There was an undeniable trust between them that others were a bit envious of. No matter how many flirted neither would bother with said person. Many found it unfair that the goth could so easily reach out and caress the feathers that shone with the ray of sunlight. As if they ever had a right to.

Wednesday subconsciously traced the inside of the wing while they read on one of the benches of the quad. Her back as always straight maintaining her posture as the harpy was fully facing her. Head on the dark girl’s shoulder as a soft rumble of different chitters and purrs emanated from her chest. The hand stopped suddenly and she held it forward with a black feather between her fingers.

“It was already loose, don’t worry.” the harpy said as she saw Wednesday inspecting. A smile growing as she saw the girl hold it to her lips.

“Would you mind if I turned it into my quill, cara mia?”

“Not at all.”

Their quiet time interrupted by one tall boy, Thorpe. He stood infront of them and cleared his throat. “We gotta work on the project.”

Both sent a sneer his way, Wednesday and him had been paired for an assignment it was true. That didn’t mean it wasn’t annoying for them. Xavier had been grinding on Y/N’s gears, finding a way to always show up and interrupt time with her girlfriend.

While spending time with him wasn’t what the girl wanted she was always responsible to make sure to finish her work. They had gone to do their work, but not before you made a display of kissing her full lips. Just to rub it in, it was always fun.

“You definitely spend a lot of time with Y/N.” Wednesday had suffered through the ours of their assignment did he really need to keep conversation after. “It should be expected. Even before she became my lover we spent quite some time together.”

“Didn’t think you would be a sappy kind of person when dating.” His voice had a bit annoyance dripping off. “Not a subject I have to discuss. What I do or don’t is none of anyone’s concern.” Her jaw tightened, he had been throwing little comments here and there since the Rave’N.

“Just saying. You don’t seem to have time for your friends.” he pressed. “On the contrary, my schedule has not been derailed. I still have time to be dragged to Enid’s persistent outings, as well as meetings with Eugene.”

“Even then Y/N joins a lot on those. What—”Wednesday turned with a glare, patience running very low. “She has joined from the moment we met. If you’re trying to say something just get on with it as I am tired of you’re incessant whining.”

“You met her some months ago and for whatever reason you became obsessed with her. You had no time to hang out or even talk. I mean shit even when we went together to the dance you paid attention to her. And then suddenly you’re dating, you trusted her so quick, did you learn nothing from getting with Tyler.”

There was a moment of silence as the raven haired girl contemplated many violent scenarios in her mind. Her gaze fierce as she stepped forward. “From the very beginning I had been quite clear that going to the dance was repayment for last year nothing more. I have plenty of time for my friends, just not to coddle your feelings. Perhaps if you weren’t blinded by your unwarranted jealousy and skewed idea of how I should be you’d actually be more bearable to be near by. She has never demanded my attetion, I’ve given it freely.”

The only thing I will give you is that you are right, in that the boys who pursued me last year were quite a disappointment.”

The loud knock that reverberated on your door scared the hell out of you. Concentrated on meticulously expanding the wing of the ulysses butterfly accidentally tearing from it’s thorax. “Shit.”

Opening the door in came a furious Wednesday Addams. She walked right in without saying a word and just stood there fuming. Closing the door you stayed there. Neither of you moved or said anything. It was best not to push her when she was like this, letting her process her anger.

“Xavier seems to have issues with our relationship.” If you rolled your eyes any harder you might see your own damn brain. “Of course he does. Me telling him to have some dignity didn’t work. Probably cause there’s none left.”

You could tell she wanted to go and wreak havoc. The petty arguments were getting old and fast. Walking towards her you offered your hand out and she took it gently, even if she was feeling far from gentle. You guided her hand to your lips kissing each knuckle and her fingetips. She got closer to you, her body flush to yours. It wasn’t a hug, she didn’t want to feel caged but still wanted to be pressed up against you.

“I have some bugs that I was working on. Do you want to pin or tear the ones that are disposable?” She definitely felt like poking holes in something and she curtly nodded against you.

You sat down on the chair in your work station and guided her to your lap. She immediately started pinning the butterfly through the thorax, pin after pin riddling it. Her shoulders slowly becoming less tense as she abused the poor carcass and your soft lips hovered over her neck and thumbs rubbed small circles on her waist.

“Set a boundary, mi vida. If Xavier pestering you drives you to anger every time, it’s better to not interact with him for a while. Tell him that if he can’t behave maturely that you’ll cut him off. Like a tumor, a benign one people can live with. But if it becomes malignant then it’s time to go.”

Wednesday kept on putting pin after pin while she thought over your words. A reasonable ending to the conflict, sure. Not what she had in mind, she did not feel like being reasonable. “I was thinking of burning his shed. With him in it.”

You laughed and squeezed her. “Yeah, that is gonna put you behind bars. I prefer you here.”

The dark haired girl’s lips quirked. She definitely preferred to be here with you. But she was certain together you could remove any trace of evidence.

She’ll hold off only to try your idea first.

[artists-ally]

{She Gets The Flowers, Right?} Reader x Lucien Vanssera {Pt.2}

Welp. Here we are. Didn't know this was gonna happen. I had ZERO INTENTIONS of writing a part two but I basically got cyber bullied into making another so here ya go fuckers. Someone literally threatened to stop taking their meds so to whoever that was I hope you get to keep your kidney! Enjoy! This part is inspired by this song.

Word Count: 6,111

Warnings: ANGST (yall thought you’re gonna get a happy ending? HAHAHAH) Some pretty negative self talk.

Tagging: @bubybubsters @cyrygher @thelov3lybookworm @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @anuttellaa @lookingforamissingpage @thehighlordishere @crazylokonugget

Summary: In the days and weeks that follow your downfall with Lucien, he has no fucking clue how to go about life without you. He can’t cope. And he desperately wants to fix everything with you.

~~~~~~~

LUCIEN’S POV

I have made the biggest mistake of my entire life. I thought that would be reserved for not being able to protect Jesminda. No. This… this is… I don’t even know.

I’m just standing on the sidewalk, staring at our- her home. At the rustic, auburn door we painted. At its brass knob, at the rusty, creaking hinges that would ring through the house when someone came in. At the little potted plant in the corner, the vines spilling out of it. 

I’ll never be back here again. 

I’ll never get to hear her laugh.

I’ll never get to taste her new recipes.

I will never be able to take all that I said back. That is the most haunting feeling of it all.

I’m an awful person. After all she’s done for me. After saving my life– on more than one occasion– I went and did nothing in return. I gave her nothing for her endless kindness. All I was capable of doing was destroying the one person in my life who has given me everything I’ve ever wanted. 

Unconditionally. She always loved me unconditionally. How could I have been so blind and naive to it? How did I never see it? 

Gods every single time she made me something to eat, a recipe to try… she was basically shoving the bond in my face, hoping I would see it. And I never ever considered it. I was so lost in Elain. Lost in the fact that I finally had feelings for someone after Jesminda… Not once did I think it could be Yn. 

I don’t deserve her. I never did. I was a bitter, rotten shell of a man when she met me. She dragged me by the arms to her house to fix me. She thought I was worthy of being saved when my own father thought the opposite. Yn put me back together. She made me who I am. And this is the thanks I give her?

Elain has said all of ten sentences to me in the past year. I haven’t been able to do anything but replay every single one of them in my head. A thousand times– a hundred thousand times. I wish I couldn’t. It’s exhausting. Constantly thinking of her. But I don’t have a choice. 

I like the feeling of being able to feel again. But at the cost of Yn? At the complete sacrifice of all I’ve known for the past century? My rock? My best friend? Nothing is worth more. 

But it is far too late to do anything about it. I’ve lost her.

I want her back. 

Yn did things to me that no one else could. She just seemed to know when things were wrong. She always knows what to say, when to say it, and how. She never tells you what you want to hear, it’s always what you need. She is the most well rounded person I’ve ever met. She’s never afraid to feel her emotions. 

I envy that skill.

I’ve always hid my feelings deep down. It took years to decipher them again. But it was Yn who made me do it. She always fought for me, fought me for me. Yn never let me do it alone. Refused to, actually. Was there every step of the way and never told me I was taking too long or wasting her time. 

I get it now.

And there is nothing I can do. I have nowhere to go. Tears scald my eyes as I trudge down the little path that we beat into the grass. Day in and day out. 

I remember when we picked this place. We had only been in Velaris for a week or two when we stumbled across it. It was run down and needed a new roof. As a thank you for keeping Feyre safe on our journey across the Courts, Rhysand gifted it to us. Complete with a new roof, new furniture, a new kitchen for Yn to cook in. And he let us be. Well, let her be. I still had my debts to pay off. 

And then I met Elain and… fuck. Everything went to shit after that. 

There is no way of processing all of these emotions at once. These very real feelings I still have for Elain. And these all-of-a-sudden very fucking real feelings I now have for Yn. It’s how I imagine imploding feels like. My body wants to cave into itself and never fold back out. 

I pray to the Cauldron that I do self destruct. This feeling, a mixture between irrational rage and betrayal… I don’t wish it upon another living soul. And Gods know I’d sell mine to change everything I’ve just done. 

I don’t even know how I ended up at the Town House. All of a sudden I was just standing in front of it. I normally resent coming here, but for some reason I was relieved to see the bricks and busted up cobblestone sidewalk. Maybe no one would be here; Rhys was more often than not at the River House with Feyre and Nyx, indulging in the life of parenthood. Nesta and Cassian were probably somewhere in the House of Wind with Elain, Mor at Rita’s, Amren with Varian, and who the hell knows where Azriel is.

I can’t wait to be alone to scream. 

Fuck, the door is locked. Of course the door is locked, no one’s here. It takes every bit of control in my shiver-ridden body to not rip the door off its hinges. And it takes even more control to not collapse against the door and break down for the whole street to see. 

The lock clicks and the door opens. 

I force myself to appear relaxed. I wipe my tears and brush away my loose strands of hair. No use. My face is probably as red as the burning self hatred inside my twisted heart. 

“What are you doing here Lucien?” The High Lord asks. 

I gulp. Of all the people, it had to be him? At least it’s not Azriel, I think. I might hate him more than I hate myself. For actually getting Elain’s attention. Yn was right, I am selfish. “Sorry, didn’t realize you were in.”

“Did you leave something?” I don’t move, and I stay deathly still. Rhys looks me head to toe, and I know he can scent me from a mile away. “Lucien, what the fuck did you do?”

“Stay the fuck out of my head,” I snarled, pointing a finger at his chest. 

“I don’t need to read your thoughts. Your face says it all.”  Rhys crosses his arms over his chest, “Look, we’ve all told you that Elain is hard to reach these days. She isn’t worth-”

“This… this doesn’t have anything to do with Elain.” I lied. He seemed to know it. “Can I just come in?”

Rhys just steps aside, shutting the door behind me. “I don’t really have time for-”

“I fucked up.”

“Clearly.”

“Rhysand,” I said. So full of disgust. He looked at me with a blank expression. One I have seen too many times to not know what comes next. I eased up my tone. “Is anyone else here?”

“No,” he answers, moving around me and heading into a study on the other side of the living room. 

I can’t help but think of how we all gathered in that living room a few months ago for Solstice. Exchanging gifts and drinks and smiles and stories. I vividly remember making Yn laugh so hard she tipped her head over the arm of the couch, sending her wine tumbling to the ground. The stain still on the small rug almost makes me smile, and it almost makes me burst into tears. 

“I ruined everything in my life. Yn’s gone.” I could feel the air freeze around me. “Not like, gone gone but she’s… I don’t think I’ll ever be seeing her again.”

“So this is because of Elain.”

I bit my tongue so hard I thought I’d bite it off completely. But I sighed, the tears coming with it. “Yes.” A really long pause. “She told me I’m-”

“You’re Yn’s mate?”

“Yes.”

“And you never knew because you were so focused on Elain.” “Is that supposed to be a question?”

“It was, but you just gave me your answer,” Rhys sat. “Do you want me to keep guessing or are you going to tell me what happened?”

I took the biggest breath I could, steading my words. “I missed the opening of her restaurant because I was with Elain.”

Rhysand looked at me with such revulsion that I thought he might put me through a wall. Those wicked, violet eyes could’ve boiled my bones. For a split second I wished he would. I could tell he wanted to say something, but I don’t think there were enough words in the world for how much of an awful person I was. 

“There are things in this world that we sacrifice in this world Lucien,” Rhys said.

Hesitantly, “I know.” 

“And Yn gave up the biggest of them all. She shut her mouth to let you be happy. She did what I did for Feyre until she realized what situation she was in. You are one spineless bastard for doing anything but giving your life to her.”

“I know.”

“Have you any idea what you’ve done to her? She gave you everything you could ever ask for. From the moment the two of you stepped in my Court I could tell she only had eyes for you. When you are in the room you’re the only one she looks at. How could you have not known?”

“I don’t know…” “Yes, you do.”

I plunged my nails into my palms. “For Cauldron's sake Rhysand of course I know.”

“Then why did you continue to ignore Yn?”

“Because I couldn’t ever let myself think a female like her would like such a broken, dismantled and lost soul like mine.” Rhysand stared at me. “When Yn pulled me from the border to fix me, she spent every waking moment of her life stringing my mind and body into one piece. If I let myself think for even a second that it was anything other than kindness, I would’ve gone mad.”

“Would it have been so terrible to love her?”

“I’ve always loved her. I just never thought I’d be allowed to love her the way she loves me.”

“Because of Elain?” “Because of Elain.”

Rhys blew out a breath, sitting down on the corner of his desk. “So, let me see if I have all of this correct. You wouldn’t let yourself fall for Yn because you thought you were unworthy. Instead, you sabotaged both of your happiness for Elain simply because she was your mate and you just wanted to feel something?”

“It sounds so much more fucked when you say it outloud.” I rubbed my hands over my tired, burning eyes. “And it’s not just because she’s my mate, Rhys. I genuinely like her. She’s… she has the potential to be so sweet. I’ve seen glimpses of it, heard stories from Feyre and Nesta. Why won’t she let me see?”

“You are still clueless, aren’t you?” He scoffed. “Here you are, a ruined man because you drove away your best friend, and you’re still worried about someone who doesn’t want you. Pathetic. You are a selfish son of a bitch.”

“I can’t just ignore Elain. It’s impossible to think of anything else but her and how I can help her.” “Lucien,” Rhysand stopped me from going on another tangent. “Maybe start considering that she doesn’t want you.”

“What?” My lip trembled. “N-No she… we have a bond. It’s there she just needs time. I’m her mate, she’ll want one eventually.”

“Just like Yn will want one?” His eyes were as viscous as the tone of his voice. “You are doing the same thing to Yn that Elain is doing to you. You understand how that feels. Now imagine that Elain was the one you found on the border of the Spring Court and you spent decades nursing her mind back into her body. Recreating her personality and passions. Wouldn’t you be a little fucking irate if she started showing interest in another male after all you did for her?”

I froze.

This was so much deeper than I ever thought it could be. But I could see it. Bringing Elain back to herself all for it to be thrown away by another male. Azriel filled that roll, and I was filled with raw fury at the mere thought of that happening. 

“So now you see what Yn has been dealing with. And Gods, Lucien, she has been dealing with it for a long while. What you did was wrong, unjust, and unfair. And for you to be with Elain on the day of her grand opening, where all of us just were, is… that may be unforgivable.”

“I don’t deserve to be forgiven for what I’ve just done…”

My shoulder hunch, and my chest cracks. I am a bleeding mess of tears. I can barely stand as I openly sob in front of Rhys. I’m surprised when he shoves a chair under me instead of letting me crumble to the floor in my self induced agony. And I’m even more surprised when he puts a hand on my shoulder. 

It’s Yn. It’s always been Yn. There is nothing in this world that can compare to her or her kindness or her love. What a fool I have been to not take the hand that was given me. What a selfish, self-serving waste of a man I have been to her. 

I can’t take it. I have to have her back. I have to fix this. I have to. I have to. I have to. 

I stand. “Woah, what are you doing?” Rhys tried to get me to sit down. 

“Yn- I have to fix this with Yn-”

“No,” Rhys slams me back into the chair. “You are not going to march back over there.”

“I have to,” I yelled. “I can’t let her kick me out without her knowing that I’m sorry. That I’ll do anything she wants me to to win her back. I can’t be without her, I need her.”

“She kicked you out?” I nodded. “You’re not going anywhere. She clearly doesn’t want to see you. Nothing you could say to her would suffice. Especially right now. She needs time. She needs space. If I find out that you go back to your- her house, I’ll drop you back in the Spring Court, do you understand me?”

I nod viciously. 

“Good,” Rhys let out a heavy breath. “You can have your old room back. Nothing in it but a few storage boxes. Everything is otherwise untouched.” Great. My old memories to haunt me. Just what I needed. For a very short week we stayed here. Yn’s room was right across from mine. Just another reminder of everything that’s happened between now and then. 

I slump in the seat, letting tears trickle down my nose and onto my knee. Watching them evaporate and dry, just for the material to be soaked again. “I’m so sorry Yn…”

I heard Rhys whirl around, and I could feel the tension across the room. He probably thinks I’m mad. I might as well be. 

More footsteps sounded than people in the house and Cassian walked in the room. Luckily I was facing away from him. “Don’t tell me he’s a part of our special detachment.”

I rolled my eyes. Cassian, ever the charming.

“No, he��s… well, he’ll be living here for a little while.”

“Do I wanna know?”

“It’s none of your business,” I snapped. No one spoke. I sighed for what felt like the billionth time today. “Sorry.”

“What happened?” Cassian asked, coming to stand next to me, his body reeking of sweat and dirt. All I had to do was lift my head and I think he understood enough. That or Rhys told him. “I won’t say anything cause I’ll probably just make it worse.”

“Probably,” Rhys nodded. 

“Probably.” My eyes burned, so did my skin. “I have to get all my stuff out tomorrow. She told me to.”

“Then you’ll do it tomorrow. Not tonight, tomorrow. Respect her wishes, or I will make you.”

“I heard you the first time.”

“We’ll be back,” Rhys grabbed a few things from his desk then ushered Cassian out the door. “Don’t do anything. Just stay here.”

It could’ve been twenty minutes or two hours until I finally moved upstairs. Forcing myself to not go to Yn’s room was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. All the conversations we had, all the plans we made. It’s where she first got the idea of her restaurant. She literally had a dream and made it a reality. 

I’d be lying if I said I told her how proud of her I was. I never have. Why have I never told her that? Could I really have been that caught up in Elain that… Wow. It’s funny how you only realize after the fact. 

My bed caught me as I collapsed into it, tucking my knees into my chest. I am such a loser. Pathetic. Just like Rhys said. My heart would burn up and die at this rate. It was a mystery how I hadn’t burst into flames yet. 

There are so many things I need, and Yn takes the top of the list. She had always been everything I needed. When I needed comfort, I went to Yn. When I needed solutions, I went to Yn. When I needed answers, to be heard, to be validated, to be loved… who was I supposed to go to now? Definitely not Rhys or Cassian, and certainly not Elain.

Maybe for the first time ever I wanted nothing to do with Elain. I didn’t want to see her. I couldn’t care less if I ever saw her again. Her presence in my life has done nothing but tear my other relationships apart. 

She’s the reason I’m here in this mess.

_____

At some ridiculous hour of the night– morning? Is that the sun?– I heard the door open. I shot up, then deflated down. I wasn’t in my bed. I wasn’t at home. And that wasn’t Yn walking in the door. 

Every thought and emotion rushed back into my head, creating an endless tangle of thoughts. The next more horrid and self destructive than the last. I deserve it. 

Missing the opening of her restaurant, Latibule–an ancient word for refuge or safe place–was the biggest mistake of my life. I will never be able to make that up to her. I turned her biggest accomplishment into a slimy, diseased memory. I ruined what was supposed to be the best night of her life.

I’ve let her down in a way I’ll never be able to repair. 

Even Rhys and Feyre were there last night. And I wasn’t. Nesta and Cassian. Azriel, Amren, Mor… they were all there, supporting her. And I was with Elain. She probably wanted to go, and I was there, holding her back. 

I need to get out of this room before it crushes me whole.

I could see the sun just barely peeking over the Sidra when I stepped outside, cloak wrapped tightly around my head and shoulders to keep out the early morning bite. 

There wasn’t a soul around, Velaris still blissfully asleep besides this one small corner store that sold hot tea and pastries all hours of the day. Rustling in my pocket was just enough for a peach turnover and a cherry blossom tea. 

The bell chimed above the door as I walked in, knocking my boots against the step to not track dirt in. 

“Early start to the day, Luc?” Ms. Immy smiled from behind the counter, polishing a few mugs before moving to come to the display case, packed full of delicious goods, savory and sweet. 

“Unfortunately,” I sighed. “Couldn’t really sleep.”

“Well I am glad to have you in, the usual?”

“That would be great, Ms. Immy.” 

The lovely owner of the bakery was Ms. Immy. One of the older members of the Night Court but as wise as they come. She’s the kindest, most gentle fae to roam Prythian. With her soft, sage green eyes and long, slender ears adorn with piercings, Ms. Immy was by far one of my favorites here. 

The kettles whistled behind her as she dipped a tea bag into my mug. Ms. Immy always had designated mugs for her regular customers. Mine was made of green clay, mostly green with a white oval on the front with two lines of flowers. In the center of it all was a simple fox. She once told me that I had the spirit of one of those extinct creatures in the human lands. That I was reserved, and at my core I fiercely protected those I cared about.

If only I had been able to protect Yn from myself.

Her mug had been one crafted of the moon and the stars. With all the constellations of the Gods being lifted into the air by the magic of the Cauldron. Ms. Immy had told her it was a visual representation that Yn was a great reminder of the past to the current world. That she was lost art that was to never be forgotten. 

There is nothing I want more than for the rest of the world to be loved as fiercely as she had loved me.

“Here is your tea, Lucien,” Ms. Immy set the mug on the counter, pushing up the glass case and plucking a peach turnover out. “And for you as well.”

“Thank you,” I tried to smile. I stared at the blackberry tart next to the peach turnovers. Yn’s go-to. It made my blood run cold. 

I put the coins in her hand before I could begin to cry again and scooted out the door as another person was coming in. 

The table and chairs outside were hard and covered in a light mist. It creaked as I sat, just as it always did. I should've sat anywhere else, but my body naturally drifted to this exact spot. It had a good view of the street so Yn and I could watch the people walk by. Pretending we know every bit of their personal lives and beyond. Make up extravagant stories and adventures for the most boring looking individuals in hopes they may one day get to go on them in another lifetime. 

Gods she is everywhere. She’s in the tavern across the street, in the stones on the ground that we used to kick on our walks. She’s in the sunrise, the same color of her heated cheeks filling the sky. There is no escaping what used to be my whole world. 

Silently, I let a few tears roll down my cheeks. I ought to be ashamed of showing so much emotion in public, but for some reason I can’t find the will to care. 

The door chimes and footsteps go back down the street. The door chimes again. 

“My fox boy,” Ms. Immy says so softly I almost don’t hear it over the roar in my ears. “What troubles you so badly you can’t sleep?”

I bite my lip to keep from making any embarrassing noises. “I don’t know how to fix something that I’ve done.”

“You missed the opening of Yn’s restaurant.” She says. 

I nod. “How did you know?”

“Because I did not see you there, fox boy.”

“She kicked me out, Ms. Immy. I deserved it, every bit of what she said was true.”

“I think that is true, Lucien,” Ms. Immy came and sat in Yn’s spot, folding her hands in her lap, letting out a breath of air as she extended her old, feeble legs. “Nobody is happy with what you’ve done but-”

“I didn’t mean to blow her off Ms. Immy I just-”

“But,” she cuts me off with a pointed look. “I think you are a very lost soul. For the first time in your life you are truly free. No High Lord to obey, no throne to fight for, no war to fight in. Just a High Lord to serve and to respect. You have everything you could ask for, and yet you have no idea what to do with it.”

She’s right. She’s always right. “I want to fix it. I have to.”

“I am afraid that may not be what the spirit of the Gods wants.” Why is it that I get called fox boy and Yn get’s called something as majestic as ‘spirit of the Gods’? “If those are her wishes, you are going to respect them. Eternally.”

“I will go mad. If I don’t have her by my side for the rest of my life I will go mad.” “So you share a bond with her as well?” She asks. 

“I don’t know. All I do is that I haven’t stopped crying and shaking at every reminder of her. No matter how small. Life without her in it is meaningless to me. Afterall, she is the one who gave it back to me.”

“And a good job she did, fox boy,” Ms. Immy smiled softly. “You are a good male who has been blinded by instincts. While it is not your fault, it has become your problem. And by the looks of you, it seems like it has become quite the ordeal.”

My shoulders dropped as I put my head in my palms. I breathed. “I don’t know how to function without her. She has been there, every day of my life, for nearly seventy years, Ms. Immy. We did everything together. Our mornings were spent as one, our evenings, all the restaurant planning and-and brunches here with you-”

“Breathe, Lucien-”

“How am I supposed to just pack up my things today and move on? H-How am I supposed to just carry on as if she never existed in my life? The thought of not being able to see her every day makes me want to peel the skin off my flesh.”

Ms. Immy looked at me, the hard lines in her face becoming more defined. “Listen to me very carefully, fox boy. What’s done is done. You cannot go back in time and take back what you said. The worst of it is over. Now comes the long process of trying to piece your life together. Whether Yn will be able to help you will depend on what you decide to do in the next several days. If you follow her wishes of moving out and staying clear, there could be a chance in the future. But, if you neglect her wishes, as you had neglected her to lead you to this moment, then there is no hope.”

If you neglect her wishes, as you had neglected her to lead you to this moment, then there is no hope… Words have never stunned me quite as forcefully as Ms. Immy’s had. The true gravity of the situation has set in, if it hadn’t already. One wrong move and she’s gone. For good.

“There is a reason why you are my little fox, Lucien,” Ms. Immy stood, taking my cold mug that I hadn’t touched. “They were intelligent, cunning creatures, just as you are. Do not let your instincts guide you to a decision. Let your heart and the facts do it for you.”

“The facts? What facts?” “The fact that you have screwed up. The fact that Yn has made a decision for you since you were incapable of doing it yourself. It is truth, and it hurts, but it has to for change to come.” And then she went inside. 

I sat with those final words for far longer than I anticipated. It was long enough for people to begin leaving their homes, the streets beginning to fill with people. 

Yn would be out of the house by now, opening for the restaurant’s breakfast hours. I could go now. Or I could stay here and try to blend into the hundreds of faces passing in and out. But I need to move. Yn might come in for her apple cider and blackberry tart. If I saw her right now I’d surely do something stupid. 

As I walked, the clouds blocked out the sun and it began to drizzle. The drizzle turned into a steady rain, then a downpour. I was soaked through my cloak and boots, water seeping in and out with every step. My hair stuck to the back of my neck. 

I kept my head down as I walked, afraid of being recognized. If Ms. Immy had been there to not see me at Latibule, who else? 

The cobblestone ended and mud replaced it. I knew where I was.

The old, beaten path dared me to go up to the house. It beckoned me. From here, at the bottom of the hill, I could see several boxes stacked up outside the door, the disposable brown material soaked through with the rain. She was serious…

Some part of me– the extremely selfish part– has been secretly hoping that she’ll tell me she made a mistake and that she wants me back. But I think those boxes are a not-so-gentle-shove in the opposite direction. 

The key in my pocket might as well have been the key to another universe, because when I opened the door it was like I entered a whole new world. One without me in it. All the pictures of us, all the paintings Feyre had done for us, were off the walls. All the plants and trinkets and decorations I gifter here were piled in the corner for me to collect.

How could so much damage have been done in just a few hours? 

One by one, I packed away the things into the soggy boxes. I moved from room to room. Silently. Hoping this was all a dream only to be launched back into reality with every memory that surfaced. Every possession I had given her in the last seventy years was piled here for me to take. 

She wanted no trace of me here. And I didn’t blame her. I don’t want any trace of me either. 

I must’ve stayed there for hours– crying, packing, reliving moments I had long forgotten only to cry again– because it was close to sunset now. Every trace of me was packed up; all those pictures, all those trinkets, all my clothes and bathing goods… everything I owned fit into these boxes. Everything except for the one person I didn’t want to do life without. 

But Rhys and Ms. Immy are right. If I try to do something now, to get her back, I’ll ruin any real chance. That is something I can’t afford. 

To an immortal, a few months or years equivalates to just a few minutes of human life. But if it takes years for Yn to accept me back in her life…

Besides the clothes and membranes from the Autumn and Spring Courts, I discard everything. I will tear myself to bits if I don’t get rid of them. Will I regret it down the road, probably, but I can’t have them. 

The two boxes and bag of clothes I carry from her house to the Town House are water logged and falling apart. It’s a miracle they didn’t unravel completely. Just add more humiliation to a High Lords son dragging boxes and bags through the street. I deserve all the stare’s and hushed questions. 

Nothing could’ve prepared me for the sights of Rhys and Cassian helping me carry them up the stairs. 

“I don’t know how you’re feeling but-”

“Don’t,” I pleaded. “Just… just don’t. I don’t want your pity, Cassian.”

“I am probably the last person besides Azriel who would pity you, Lucien. And I had no intentions to belittle you for what you did. I was going to offer you a spot in my training ring if you ever needed an escape.”

His kindness shocked me. I can’t say I know the Illyrian well, but this gesture spoke a lot to his character. So I sighed, of course I thought he was going to be hostile to me. Everyone should. “Oh.”

“Training starts at eight and goes to one. Come well fed and in something warm. The top of the House is colder.”

Neither of us said anything else as he left me to unpack.

______

Some weeks later I had taken Cassian up on his offer. Him and Nesta were great at kicking my ass and telling me about it. This side of both of them was far different than the ones I had seen. Here, Cassian wasn’t a prick. He was an instructor, teaching me how to defend my life and my honor. Nesta was… less Nesat. She channeled this otherworldly presence and became one with her weapon.

Me on the other hand… it was far more difficult. Fighting and battle wasn’t rooted in my blood like it was for Cassian. It was much harder for me to get it but I sorta did. Sorta. 

“Just keep working on that footwork and it’ll help with the sword placement. If you’re solid by the end of the week, I’ll put a real one in your hands,” Cassian grinned, chucking me my practice weapon. 

It brought a quick smile to my face. As fast as it was there it was gone. Like most these days. 

When I got home, I rifled through my closet. Brown and green and cream colored shirts after another. Where was that Night Court Blue one I had gotten a long time ago? I could’ve sworn I plucked it from the pile on the floor- no, that was a towel. I was planning on wearing it to dinner at the River House tonight for Mor’s birthday.

Oh, Yn has it. I had given it to her to wear for a meeting with a realtor when looking at properties. She had tucked it into this black leather skirt.

I’ll swing by on my way to the party to get it. Mor always liked the color on me, and said it brought out the fire in my hair. She’ll appreciate the gesture.

After a shower and some other outfit choices, I can’t help but want that blue shirt. I’ll just go get it.

Through the falling leaves, I make my way down the street, across it, and to the meadow. There are six or seven houses with smoke billowing out of their chimneys. But there, right in the distance, is her house. She’ll be at her restaurant tonight so I know I’m safe. 

I scurry up the path, still worried about being seen for some reason. 

Has it been easy these past couple weeks? No. I haven’t been able to think of anything but her. Or dream of anything but her. It’s awful. Not her, but the fact that somehow, someway, she is still everywhere I am. In those memories in the darkest part of the night. The darkest part of my mind reserved for her and her only. 

I hadn’t dared to go visit Elain. I don’t feel the need anymore. Which is relieving and frightening at the same time. It’s like there is a gaping hole in my heart that nothing will fill. Not even training. It proves a good secondary distraction, but nothing can suppress the primary guilt I feel every waking–

What is that smell? I stopped just shy of the door, key in hand. It wants to smell like the rest of the smoke and ash wafting into the air from the nearby cabins, but it’s… more alive? What if she left the stove on? Or a candle? There are hints of woods mixed into it, but not the type of woodsy scent from pine or maple logs. 

I jam the key in as fast as I can to unlock the door. What if she left the fireplace burning or had an electrical fire or-

In the span of five seconds, three things happened. One: Yn was here. And she looked so beautiful. Her eyes are bright and full of color. Two: she was being held by someone, his hands on her cheeks. Three: boiling rage shot through when I realized who it was.

Eris.

~~~~~~~~~

Part 3

[blueepink07]

Since we will get Kotoko's album in one day, which includes her VD from which most probably we will find more information about her motivations and her plans in Milgram, I decided to look a bit into her attacks during prison and how I imagine things happened! (I'm fully aware that I will most probably be proved wrong when the album drops, but I'm really curious if I can actually figure out most of what happened!)

Starting off, Jackalope informs us that the order in which Kotoko attacked is: Mikoto, Mahiru, Fuuta.

Which makes sense, considering that she attacked, in order, who is closer to her cell.

(Also fun fact! The prisoners are distorted according to how many injuries they have!)

What I want to answer, however, is how she managed to attack two people without being stopped.

Mikoto vs Kotoko

From Mikoto's VD, we find out that Kotoko has attacked, while John was distracted, giving herself a slight advantage.

"Es: Like you didn’t get beaten by Kotoko…! John: Hah. That was just because she caught me off guard. We went at it again while you were asleep, and it’s not like I lost there."

Considering that they fought some time and where evenly matched, there must have been a lot of noise, which should have alerted the others. In this attack, Kotoko didn't care much about how much attention she would attract. Why? Because the prisoners were already used with John's restlessness and they wouldn't dare to go near him. Hearing those noises didn't alert them much, because they maybe were too scared and didn't want to approach or thought it was just the usual.

As seen in many timeline posts, Mikoto is avoided. The only one who wished him Happy birthday was Haruka, whom we know that is currently isolating himself and didn't wish Mikoto a happy birthday this year too...

"Mikoto: The others told me about it. How I got into a fistfight with Koto-chan and whatnot. "Es: Seems like it, yeah. Mikoto: I wonder if it’s like… some kind of sleepwalking…? After all, I’ve been losing sleep more and more often recently… Man… It’s really troublesome, isn’t it? Es: Mikoto… Mikoto: The others are all scared of me. I can tell by looking at the way they act. Because I read the room."

Mahiru and Kotoko

From Shidou's VD, it is given the information that Mahiru suffered head injuries, more exactly head lacerations.

"Shidou: Shiina-kun’s is even worse. Head lacerations. Bruising all over her body. Left anterior compression fracture. A sprained neck. Fractured ribs. Further fracturing to the left arm. And furthermore… this may be outside of my profession, but her mental health is deteriorating as well."

These injuries are the aftermath of being hit by Kotoko.

Mahiru says some interesting things in her VD:

"Mahiru: … Ah, but this is… I think Kotoko-chan is the one who did it, so… you know? It’s not like it’s your fault. Um, so…! I’m not holding a grudge towards Kotoko-chan either. I’m sure she just thought it couldn’t be helped…"

This "I think" was always interesting to me. It implies that she is uncertain of the events that happened, like she wasn't there... Like she just a heard rumour from someone else...

However, she also tells this:

"Mahiru: … Ah– I– I—I’m sorry…! If– If you touch me so suddenly, it makes me remember… how it hurt… and I get scared…"

She remembers the pain, but not the person who hurt her. Keeping in mind that she also suffered from head trauma, I have thought that Mahiru must have lost consciousness, shortly after being hit, but not fully.

There are actually some levels of impaired consciousness, that can explain my assumption!

Confusion

Confusion is marked by the absence of clear thinking and may result in poor decision-making.

Disorientation

Disorientation is the inability to understand how you relate to people, places, objects, and time. The first stage of disorientation is usually around awareness of your current surroundings

Loss of short-term memory follows disorientation with respect to place.

Delirium

If you’re delirious, your thoughts are confused and illogical. People who are delirious are often disoriented. Their emotional responses range from fear to anger. People who are delirious are often highly agitated as well.

Lethargy

Lethargy is a state of decreased consciousness that resembles drowsiness. If you’re lethargic, you may not respond to stimulants such as the sound of an alarm clock or the presence of fire.

Stupor

"Stupor is a deeper level of impaired consciousness in which it’s very difficult for you to respond to any stimuli, except for pain."

Coma

Coma is the deepest level of impaired consciousness. If you’re in a coma, you can’t respond to any stimulus, not even pain.

From all of these, stupor seems to be what Mahiru experienced after being hit.

Stupor -> caused by head injuries, such as concussion or bleeding in or around the brain

"Stupor is characterised by impaired reaction to external stimuli. Those in a stuporous state are rigid, mute and only appear to be conscious, as the eyes are open and follow surrounding objects. If not stimulated externally, a patient with stupor will appear to be in a sleepy state most of the time."

If Kotoko hit Mahiru and caused her to have a stupor, Mahiru wouldn't even have the chance to yell or cry for help. She couldn't respond to any stimulus (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch), the only thing that she could feel was the pain.

It would make sense, in this case, for the other prisoners to be unaware of what was happening to Mahiru. Kotoko most probably made a surprise attack (as in John's situation), left Mahiru is a state of stupor and did further damage to her body.

"Kazui: I wonder. Maybe it’s because I’m used to violence. Even so… I couldn’t make it for Shiina-chan. I feel responsible for [what happened to] her."

Fuuta and Kotoko

Fuuta seems to have been fully conscious when he was being beaten up by Kotoko. He remembers every detail, unfortunately to him: the way he had been stepped on with the safety boot-like shoes, the beatings which made him think that he'll die. He even remembers Kotoko's motivations and beliefs! It's pretty likely that he was still conscious when Kazui protected him.

"Fuuta: Hey. Look at me. My right eye. It looks awful, doesn’t it? This is what happens when you get stepped on with those safety boot-like shoes. – Don’t recoil like that, that’s hurtful. According to Shidou, it’s likely that I won’t ever be able to see [with this eye] again. Sucks, huh."

"Fuuta: It hurt… It hurt so bad, I thought I was going to die. I was scared!"

"Fuuta: I mean, you forgave Kotoko, right? You affirmed her, right? Her belief that “it’s fine to do whatever to people who have done something wrong”. Es: How do you know about that…? Fuuta: She told me while she was beating me up. How she thinks it’s okay for her to do anything she wants to people who have done wrong, no matter the severity of their crime. And she left the judgment of that up to you."

What are your thoughts about Kotoko's attacks?

If Fuuta was conscious the whole time, his cries of pain or help surely must have been what alerted the other prisoners, who stopped Kotoko from doing further damage...

And so this is me trying to explain why the other prisoners noticed too late Kotoko's attacks!

I'm prepared to be proved wrong, but it was fun to write anyway!

[bethanydelleman]

So I asked a while ago about which of our main men would change the most/least of their novels if they went back to the start (and I really loved the answers)…

But how do you think it would work vice versa? If our leading ladies went back to the start who do you think would change the most of their respective novels?

I feel like Marianne and Emma would probably change the most… but most of them would change things quite a bit I think.

Except maybe Fanny not out of lack of want to change things but because she has so much difficulty speaking up. I’ve got to admit I’m swaying back and forth on Lady Susan and Anne though. Bc Lady Susan is just arrogant enough to think that if she knows when/how things are going to go wrong then she can prevent them even when it’s something out of her control or that she doesn’t know the actual cause of. And Anne is quite a lot like Fanny in that she has trouble speaking up and also bc up until Lyme Wentworth is still very angry with her and I’m not sure there’s anything that she could do to mitigate that before then…

Thoughts? 💜

This question is in reference to this question.

I think the person who would change the most is Elizabeth Bennet, she's the only one who has someone she absolutely needs to save. (And Jane Bennet if we are counting her as a heroine.) Fortunately, I think rescuing Lydia would be in their power. Elizabeth would actually flirt with Darcy and she could drop hints about Jane loving Bingley. I think they could prevent Bingley from leaving and through that, prevent Lydia's trip to Brighton (ie take her somewhere else exciting with their wealth, as they take over the care of Kitty in canon). Also, knowing his true nature, they'd likely start some sort of whisper campaign against Wickham.

If only Elinor time travels, she would hopefully be able to inform Colonel Brandon about Willoughby earlier and stop W's romance with Marianne, but I don't think she could stop W&M on her own because she doesn't have any evidence of Willoughby's wrongdoing. She'd at least be prepared for the Lucy reveal and she knows it will turn out okay. I think she'd be intelligent enough to just not touch that and let nature take it's course.

Marianne would go for Colonel Brandon and snub Willoughby, it'd be delightful!. Poor Willoughby would have an ego crisis losing to an "old" man.

Anne Elliot doesn't have trouble speaking up, in my opinion, she just knows it's useless. She's been living with her father and Elizabeth for long enough to know that they won't listen to her. However, she would know the future which would be comforting at least and maybe she could prevent the Lyme fall. I think Wentworth would still wake up to his true feelings even without the fall and Anne is selfless enough to risk it.

Catherine Morland would likely avoid Isabella and her best to keep James from entering into his engagement. She would eagerly look forward to each time she knows that Henry Tilney is coming and would not even accuse General Tilney of being a murderer, not even once!

Fanny Price is actually kind of cruel, because the future would horrify her but I don't think she could do anything to prevent it. Edmund is ineffective, Maria wouldn't listen, and I don't think Fanny would dare approach Sir Thomas. So she'd just be EVEN MORE of a Cassandra and in acute pain the whole time. The fact that she ends up with Edmund would only be a minor consolation, given her personality.

Lady Susan would try again with her better knowledge, she might even succeed 😬 the horror!

Lastly, Emma. She's a tricky one because I don't know what she would do. She knows Elton sucks, she knows Jane and Frank are engaged, she's ashamed of her behaviour... Does she encourage Harriet to accept the first proposal or do the same thing as last time so she can enjoy a year with a friend? I think she would refrain from encouraging Harriet about Elton, and therefore avoid that heartbreak. Could she wiggle out of Elton's proposal? I don't know. It's going to happen eventually. She may discover that without her flirting with Frank, Knightley doesn't discover his feelings, so she's got to stick as close as possible to her original actions to prevent disaster! However, she would avoid the Box Hill debacle and refrain from bringing up Mr. Dixon with Frank.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

could you write a little something about Rowan x reader where reader is Lorcan’s little sister

It’s been a hot minute since we stepped into tog’s universe…

Part II

The light we cannot see

You were the only source of light in life that Lorcan had. He had given up on life, on the right thing, on the fact that there could be good things gracing this land. But every time the last drop of light was threatened to be snuffed out, you brought it back. You held onto it with both hands. Your love was what kept him fighting. What kept him getting out of bed. His little dark-haired sister. A promise of danger with the kindness of heart.

“Anyone’s up for seconds?”, your voice fills the side dining room, pot slung on your hip as you strolled in. Maeve as much as she used them wasn’t the dine-with-me type so even her closest ate away from her chambers. “When they are coming from your hands, always”, Fenrys chirped, “I would eat poison from you”, he throws you a wink as you scoop another portion of stew into his bowl while rolling your eyes. “Careful, dreams come true”, Lorcan grunted, eyes fixed on the white wolf. Whose purpose in life seemed to be pissing Lorcan off. “I can shove it down your throat”, the table grew still, the threats didn’t surprise anyone by now but Lorcan’s sharp tone still made everyone halt. “Just joking, man. Y/n tell him that I’ve been behaving”, Fenrys pleaded making you chuckle, “I don’t know, have you?” The table echoed with laughter. “Don’t push me into the flames, love”, the white wolf clenched at his heart before turning his attention back to his food. But it was your hand that Lorcan’s eyes fell on. How it lingered on Rowan’s shoulders as you walked past him. How Rowan looked up. A strange sort of longing burning in his gaze. Lorcan lowered his spoon. Assessing eyes drinking you both in. And here it was the quickly shared looks, the slight nods. It couldn’t possibly be…

The rules applied to everyone. No one could come close to you. He wouldn’t allow it. They were all murderers. All were chained to a sadist who was willing and ready to do anything to break them. You were already hung up in front of him. You were already in danger because you shared blood with him and Lorcan hated himself for it. But to add another target on your back. To chain you to another person. To give her a reason to flung you around like a makeshift weapon. No, he wasn’t gonna allow it.

“You know you might just stare straight through the door if you keep glaring at it so hard”, Gabriel’s voice filled Lorcan’s ears as he blinked. He hadn’t even realized that he had zoned out. That you had left the room. “Have you…”, he cuts himself off, debating slightly as if he could voice his inner monologue, “Have you seen anything suspicious lately?” The older male shoots the darkness wielder a look. “As in threats in the city? No, it’s been calm down there”, Gavriel dabs at his lips with a napkin. Lorcan shakes his head, “Here, in the house. Have you noticed things… shifting”. “Lorcan be straight with it”, Gavriel states firmly, “You train Y/n, have you noticed anything strange”, he’s not sure why he stirs the conversation there but that’s where his mind takes him, and now that he’s grasping at nothing, he can use any detail.

“I wouldn’t be able to tell you”, the lion shrugs, making Lorcan shoot him a look of his own. “Maeve, shifting my guard times, Rowan is training with Y/n now. From what I’ve heard it’s going great”, he says it so casually as if he doesn’t seem to grasp the importance of the information he just shared. Not to mention that with everyone still being mid-meal Rowan gets up, waffling something about refilling the wine jugs. “I bet it is”, Lorcan watches him leave, “I bet it’s going wonderfully”, clamping his jaw he manages to take five breaths before he’s pushing his chair back.

A big part of him is hoping he would see just that. Just Rowan filling up the jugs. With you far away from him. He thinks about striding in. Making a big scene. But he halts, turning to the side pantry instead. Cracking the door ajar ever so slightly. “I can’t stay for long, too many men in the main hall”, Rowan mutters, brushing a strand of your black hair away and off your shoulders. “I was promised a night together”, you muse crossing your arms over your chest. “And I will keep my promise. Have I given you reason to doubt my promises before”, Rowan steps forward, a smile on his face. Your hands snake around his neck as you pull him in closer. “Maybe I need a reminder”, you hum, the mischievous eyes gleaming. “Is that so?”, Rowan tries to hide his smirk as he leans closer, “Let me remind you then”.

But his lips never meet yours and when you open your eyes it’s to him being pushed to the other side of the kitchen. “Lorcan”, you rasp out, moving to get closer to your older brother. Who had smashed a jug on his way, its shard now pressing against Rowan’s throat. “You lying filthy bastard”, he grits through his teeth, “The silent pig does dig the sweetest of crops, doesn’t it”. But Rowan’s gaze doesn’t falter. “Lor, I can explain”, you tug at his arm, “This doesn’t have to be this way”, you plead.

“What happened to us not having secrets, hmm?”, his angry gaze crashes into you. “I was gonna tell you”, you whine, “I was, I just didn’t want…”, “When”, he cuts you off, “Tell me when? when he screwed you pregnant and left you by some in to venture for yourself?”, his words make you stagger back. You can see the regret painting his features. But it was too late the words had met their mark. “Yn”, Lorcan breathes out, pushing off Rowan as he turns to you. You shake him off, moving across the kitchen. “I didn’t…”, “Save it. I heard you loud and clear”, you bite back, “I’m honored that you think so highly of your family”, you pull your apron off, throwing it on the table before yanking the patio door open. “Nice one”, Rowan chuckles bitterly from behind him, “You know, for someone who swore to protect her, you’re doing mighty shit work”. The males come face to face. And for the first time in a while, Lorcan realizes that maybe he doesn’t know the soldier fighting alongside him. “I should crush you beneath my feet”, Lorcan growls. “By all means”, Rowan is quick to stand even taller, “Just then you might find yourself utterly lonely in this bleak world”. His words jab Lorcan harder than any blade could. “Now if you excuse me, I have a crying partner to console, her brother is a jackass”, and with that he’s pushing past Lorcan, hitting his shoulder as he moves forward. Leaving Lorcan to stand on his own.

[drdemonprince]

something im kind of connecting the dots to re: your posts about shaming people who don’t wear masks…in ‘20 and ‘21 I spent a lot of time posting shaming instagram stories telling people they needed to mask, and i yelled at family until i was blue in the face bc they weren’t masking, having big weddings, etc. and it really created a rift (obviously) in my relationships. I’ve also spent a lot of time and energy in the past 4 or so years telling people that it’s not possible to be an ally to trans people if they still engage in any media created by jk rowling. Especially given that her anti trans manifesto has been cited in anti trans legislation in the uk, she says that she assumes that anyone who continues to engage with Harry Potter media approves of her transphobia, etc the list goes on. And yet i still see my friends going to the wizarding world of Harry Potter, marathoning the movies with their friends, going to see the new movies in theaters, and so on. Obviously my aggressive shaming posts and conversations (which have alienated a lot of people) aren’t doing jack shit. Your mask shame posts made me realize that it probably wasn’t right of me to do that. But I don’t see how I can stand up for what I believe in and show people that it’s not okay to keep doing this shit AND play nice and not create trouble. Do you have any thoughts?

Thanks for this great question and for sharing your experiences.

I think when we shame, part of it is a grappling with our own powerlessness. It feels terrible to confront that no matter how much we care, and no matter how much we plead, we cannot make another person take action. When people we love or rely on won't hear our pleas and won't take action, it wounds us so deeply, and it makes sense we react in anger or seek to shame them hoping it will make them care. But it isn't effective.

I think one of the first steps is accepting our powerlessness as individuals. We have to stop expecting ourselves to somehow persuade people to change their behavior and views, when all the research indicates that such change is rare, slow, and very hard, and cannot be accomplished on a person who does not already want to be influenced. We have to sit in the humility of not being able to make others care, and take time to grieve how badly it hurts. Our understandable and huge hurt feelings need to be processed. many of us have a powerful need to express our rage and have it witnessed by others who understand.

From there, we have to think very strategically about what kind of collective work we can do that will shift social norms, facilitate the behavior we want to see, and fight for systemic changes that will actually address the root issues.

This may be things like passing out masks at protests. Joining a local mutual aid fund to contribute to the expenses of people who are quarantining. Protesting an event space to make them institute a masking policy. Unionizing with our coworkers to demand paid sick leave. Shoplifting tests and redistributing them to people in need. Terrorizing the business leaders who dragged us all back into the office. Sharing the wastewater data. Asking loved ones about their COVID mitigation decisions in a sincere way. Organizing outdoor events for our communities. Paying for a buddy's vaccine.

There are countless ways for us to be plugged into an active community that is larger than us. The work is humble, and ongoing, and what you do personally will never be enough on its own, and you must accept that in order to believe that it does not have to be. We are in this together.

In short, I think the tough emotional realities of feeling disrespected and not cared for much be addressed by finding community with people who do care and will give us room to voice our outrage. And then we have to work together to create the circumstances that allow real systemic change to germinate.

Right now, people conflate that emotional need to express rage with the political need to take action. And what feels cathartic to do or say is not necessarily what's persuasive. There has to be room for both.

[majaloveschris]

Hi Maja.

First of all, your blog is one of the only ones I’ve always felt was sincere, on point, respectful, and not toxic. I’ve always had a good feeling about you and how you are kind despite all the toxicity on here.

That feeling has never wavered and there is a big part of me that wants you to be right and win against these ridiculous anons that seem to want to put you down.

An opinion (which I don’t claim to be fact, just some thoughts here): I see a lot of takes on here popping up from blogs that claim they have PR knowledge and claim to be experts and read and follow along the gossip, but I think nobody really knows and they can only hypothesize on what they think is the truth.

I think CE being married (by public knowledge and Wikipedia) was the main goal here. I’ve always sort of felt this, which is why I ultimately was not surprised after he did his SMA spread that he went public with Fish girl and then later on “got married.”

The reason I say this is because HW and society is very judgmental and superficial. Being single or unmarried at a certain age always raises questions whether or not it is valid to do so. I disagree with this sentiment but unfortunately the world is how it is. It happens to regular people, so why wouldn’t it apply to celebs? Especially the ones who have basically become a pop culture icon of being an eligible bachelor/desirable.

Let’s think about this. After 2019, CE was no longer under the marvel umbrella. He had to start defining his post marvel career, and then Covid hit. So many things derailed. He randomly got an IG in 2020 but people found out it had existed as an account since 2019. Perhaps it was always the plan or it was a plan hatched by his PR team to keep him in the public eye. He became relatable internet BF with a Prince Charming storyline of when will he find the one? It was almost overkill from 2020-2022.

Now it’s 2024 and he’s supposedly been with this woman since 2021. It shows longevity and then eventual commitment. He now wears a ring in public so they see him as “settled down.” That’s the image he is now portraying for the public who doesn’t dig or care to deeper in his life.

I don’t think it’s about rebranding to attract a younger audience - if so, his pr team would have realized that gen Z actually does not fare well to age gaps and the subject of grooming and etc always comes up for this hypersensitive on PC/wokeness generation. Then add on the racism and weird ass crap from her/her friends. Definitely not boding well for a generation that lives on the internet and knows how to deep dive. His PR team would have looked at how the public reacted to other relationships like this and I feel, if it was simply he was in love with her and it was real real, would have told him to keep it on the DL DL until it was absolutely certain they had walked down the aisle. At that point, there would be no turning back.

But they marketed this before that happened. They wanted to portray her as the one similar to how in movies, they want to portray a main character and love interest as meant to be even if the audience may or may not receive it that way. How many times do we hear “this movie tanked because the leads had no chemistry and the relationship they wanted us to believe was not believable?”

But ultimately, the endgoal of if CE and his wife are a good couple or not doesn’t really matter. They have achieved their goal of he is now settled down and no longer on the market. If you choose to continue to follow him, stay for his career and not his personal life. Meanwhile, her - well, they’ll keep trying to make her happen because her end of the deal was getting more visibility and breaking into the American market. That much has been clear.

But you can lead a horse to water, you can’t make it drink.

What she chooses to do with the opportunities given to her are left to be seen. Also, how the public and CE/her fanbases chooses to receive them are also left to be seen.

Will this marriage last forever? I have doubts. But I do think they considered many options and this is what they came up with. I also don’t believe CE’s actions show he is very happy with the arrangement, even less so than fish is. Because even from the subtle clues from photos and “videos” - body language does not lie.

To be fair to fish, I doubt she’s in love with him either. I think she’s getting more benefits from this because most of the negativity is being directed towards him, not her. His fans hating and harassing her are just a pinnacle of what he’s receiving from his own fanbase. Some people will disagree with me but he’s the one getting the P and G and disgusting comments and being called the worst person on earth because he married her. His own fans are turning on him and her fans can also blame him but victimize her. The general public doesn’t care too much but will say how he looks because he got with her. She remains “innocent” of any blame because at the end, she is young and he is older so he should know better. Do you see what I mean?

Meanwhile, her fans are just happy she’s getting attention and somebody to fund her poor attempts at becoming a fashion icon. She lacks in talent and work ethic but it’s an easy way for her to get engagement by being attached to him.

The day this ends and she no longer has his name will be interesting and that’s what I think his fans (remaining) are hoping for. They don’t want to reward laziness and clout chasing opportunist and I too support this. They want HIM to be better and find success and love himself more so he doesn’t continue to end up in these shitty situations. But again, he has to want that for himself. He has to want to deserve better so he can work on actually deserving of better.

I hope I didn’t offend anyone with this opinion. Just my thoughts and I support YOU. I hope things work out in the end in your favor because you are a great person and I selfishly want you to be right (haha). ❤️

I completely agree with everything that you wrote down. 

I remember seeing people criticize him for saying he wants to get married and have a family, yet he is still single and childless. As you said, it's stupid that people are being bullied and judged because they haven't already settled down, even if they wanted to. Finding a partner is hard, and finding a partner in his shoes is even harder. I obviously don't know whether he actually wants all of that, but saying he must not want all of that because he didn't do so is not right. A lot of people struggle with finding a good partner. 

I never agreed with people calling him by the P and G words. I guess these people either don't know what those words mean or are simply that mad as Chris that they feel the need to spread lies. He is not those things and never was. Yeah, 16 years is a lot, but she was a grownup when they allegedly met, and I think people exaggerate when they say she looks like a child. 

I think the reason most people are hateful towards him is because they are disappointed in him. I think most people had an idea about the person he is based on the information we had, and him being married to someone like her or even dating someone like her doesn't really fit into that. People aren't disappointed in her because most didn't even know who she was before Chris. We were just presented with her actual self, and we didn't have any expectations from her. But we had for him. 

I doubt either of them is in love with each other. Alba doesn't seem that happy or comfortable around him either. I think this is just business for both of them.

I still think he is a good man who made a terrible mistake. I just hope the best for him, to be honest, which I know is an unpopular opinion now because it seems like wanting the worst for him is what is trendy nowadays. Maybe I'm naive; maybe I'm just holding onto an image, but I don't think the last 20+ years were a lie. I hope he will prove me right. 

Thanks for writing this down and for being there. ♥