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writingwithacupoftea · 4 years

Text

A family reunited

Summary: Shelby family dinners always bring some drama with them...but none of the brothers expected their sister, Y/N, to join them. After all, she had been missing for 5 years.

Word Count: 3147

A/N: First time writing a fic with a word count over 3000, baby!!! All of the brothers are actually in this but, let’s be honest, Tommy always gets more attention in my writing than anyone else. Let me know what you think of this one, and enjoy!

Part 2

Sometimes you can be better off not knowing the truth. Because the knowing the truth can make your worst nightmares an inescapable reality. A reality that can bring everything crashing down around you.

And that's how the Shelby clan felt about knowing the fate of their sister, Y/N.

Y/N Shelby was 23 when the war began, one year Tommy's junior. Before her brothers left for France, she left them with the promise of having their Mother's favourite sponge cake waiting on the table for them when they got back. She would have to save her money and actually figure out how to make it, but Y/N swore that she'd do it (somehow, even if it did turn out to be an atrocity).

But when the boys stepped through the door of the Shelby residence again in 1918, there was no cake waiting for them. It had been four years, they reasoned, maybe she'd forgotten. Even that didn't seem to sit right with the brothers, however - Y/N always kept her promises, no matter when they were made.

It was like a dark cloud was looming over the house, but none of them could see what had caused it. Something wasn't right at number 6 Watery Lane.

After embracing Polly and Ada, who had tears flowing down their faces at the mere sight of them, Tommy immediately asked where Y/N was. Their silence had told him everything. Not waiting for an explanation, Tommy stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

It was no secret that Y/N and Tommy shared a close bond; they always had each other's backs and always made time for each other. Despite there only being one year between them, Tommy was especially protective over Y/N, as he didn't want anything to happen that might risk her leaving him alone. He couldn't cope without her, for Y/N was both his rock and his light, even though she carried her own darkness with her.

It was dusk when Tommy finally returned, wanting answers. Polly simply presented him with the letter that had been left for herself and Ada on the night that Y/N vanished, for that was all she knew. It said that she had to go away for a while, to not tell Tommy, John or Arthur as she didn't want to worry them, and that she'd be back home as soon as she could. The letter was dated back to 1916. Two years ago. And no one had heard anything from her since.

Tommy refused to look up at his family after reading the letter over and over again, not wanting them to see the tears that glazed his cold blue eyes. He grabbed his bag (effectively hiding the shaking that had taken over his hands) and mumbled something about going to unpack, before retreating straight up to his bedroom, actively avoiding the pitiful looks being sent his way.

The only other time the family saw Tommy that night was when he walked through the parlour and back out of the front door again. They assumed that he was going down to Charlie's yard, where Y/N and Tommy always went together to talk. It was their special place, for they both possessed a deep-rooted love for horses and always found themselves wandering back to their Gypsy roots. When they were both younger, the siblings would be out for days on end riding in the open air. What a distant memory that was now.

According to their uncle, Tommy didn't leave the yard until the sun was fully risen the next morning.

***

Y/N Shelby had been well known to the Birmingham Police from a young age: she had a, quite frankly, remarkable ability to escape the officers no matter how tight of a spot she had managed to get herself into. She was a listener, and had an impressive memory for information that could be of use at some point in the future. Her brain, in combination with her physical abilities to slip away from or outrun trouble, made her an absolute nightmare for the coppers of Small Heath.

She built up such an impressive reputation that, during the war, she had been asked to put her talents to good use. Y/N was recruited as a spy by British Intelligence, and went undercover in Germany to retrieve vital information which ultimately helped the Allies to win the war.

It was an opportunity that she would never have been able to resist. Her brothers had always treated her as an equal when it came to the family business (although Tommy was sometimes unwilling for her to take part in certain activities); it had annoyed her immensely when they went away to fight and she couldn't do anything to help.

(She had tried to become a nurse with Ada, but was also kicked out because she couldn't stop laughing when her sister had started laughing).

But this was her way around it and, as far as she was aware at the time, her brothers would never have to know about her dangerous escapades.

However, not even Y/N Shelby was the perfect criminal or spy. In the March of 1918, she had been on the verge of completing her latest mission when the plan had gone awry. Instead of using her limited time to escape, she had ensured that the information she had gained was communicated properly to her associate. This decision left her with an open police case in Germany, and Y/N was forced to go into hiding.

As that fact hit her, only one word came to mind: shit.

***

For a year after returning home Tommy searched for Y/N, and turned up nothing. She seemed to have disappeared without a trace. His desperation fuelled his ambition: Tommy wanted to make it big, not just for money but for status and connections. This, he hoped, would provide the opportunities to dig deeper and give him access to speak to the right people, so that he could find out where his younger sister was.

Because despite the slight shadows that lurked in the back of his mind, he clutched onto his conviction that Y/N was still alive somewhere. He didn't believe in much these days, but he would always believe in his sister.

But in 1920, even Tommy was starting to have his doubts, though he refused to admit them or accept them. His search was beginning to become futile and none of his fucking contacts had been able to turn up everything.

And so Tommy began to spiral further and further downwards, for Y/N wasn't there to stop it and he didn't have the strength to do it alone.

By the time 1921 had rolled around, the family had pretty much given up all hope that their sister was still alive. However, none of them wanted to be told that harsh truth. What they didn't realise, though, was that it couldn't be further from the truth.

***

Polly Gray wasn't a woman to be easily shocked. She had seen and done too much in her time for that.

Having been settled in her new house (courtesy of Thomas) for a few weeks now, she knew exactly who had her new address – she had only given it to the people that she actually wanted to hear from and knew that they weren't a threat. So, when she didn't immediately recognise the writing on the front of an envelope, worry took over her. However, upon closer inspection of the handwriting, she stopped. Polly knew that writing, but she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She ripped the envelope open, and what was contained in that letter shocked her more than anything that had happened over the last three years:

Polly,

DO NOT SHOW THIS LETTER TO ANYONE OR TELL ANYONE ABOUT WHAT IT CONTAINS. It's not sensitive or anything, I just want to keep it a surprise. A secret between us girls, just like the old days (I've written to Ada as well).

As you can probably tell, it's Y/N, and I'm alive and well. I'll explain more when I get home - I'm on my way back to Birmingham now.

By the time you get this, I'll be arriving in two days' time. I'll come to the address that I posted this to, I know that's your fancy new home. Then, how about we organise a little family get together? You know I've always been one for the dramatics (although I promise me disappearing off for 5 years wasn't completely intentional).

I can't wait to see you again soon; I've missed you all so much.

All my love,

Y/N Shelby xxx

(P.S. in case you don't believe that I am who I say I am, I've enclosed my Mother's necklace that Tommy gave to me on my 16th birthday, to prove my identity.)

And there the necklace was, sat at the bottom of the envelope. Silent tears began to roll down Polly's face and a smile, as big as the day that Michael returned to her, brightened her features.

Y/N Shelby was coming home. And, boy, were those two going to have some fun telling her brothers...

***

The day that the 30-year-old turned up on Polly's doorstep was a blur of tears, hugs and gin.

Y/N had been introduced to Michael, who they couldn't really avoid because he lived there, but who was more than happy to keep their secret. Just being with Polly again made her realise that she was finally home.

Whilst Y/N already knew a lot about what had happened since she left, having kept tabs on the family through her various contacts while she was away, the next day Polly helped to fill in some of the gaps in her knowledge. Polly also told her about how torn up Tommy still was about her absence, and it was enough to nearly send Y/N running straight to him. But then her aunt reasoned that it was probably better for Thomas to pass out in shock in her home, where they could set up lots of cushions as a crash pad, as oppose to on the hard streets of Birmingham.

And so the planning commenced. It was decided that Polly would host a dinner for the whole family, telling everyone that she needed to put her new house to good use, and that they could combine it with a proper welcome for Michael.

As the day drew nearer, Y/N could feel butterflies in her stomach constantly. Her excitement at seeing her whole family again was almost overwhelming. Yet she dreaded having to tell them all the truth about her prolonged disappearance.

But, honestly, the excitement won over her nerves every time.

***

When Y/N heard her brothers' voices booming through the house, she had never been more grateful that she was running late in getting ready (as usual) and didn't have her makeup on yet. She hadn't been able to stop the tears falling from her blue eyes as the familiar sounds of her family's squabbling travelled up the stairs like music to her ears.

Everything was ready for the night that she had dreamed of for nearly three full years.

Fuck, I'm still in my pyjamas, Y/N realised, and hurried about getting ready.

Having memorised where the creaky steps were earlier that day, Y/N creeped down the stairs silently, clad in the most gorgeous midnight blue dress that she had ever seen. When she looked in the mirror, with her makeup on and hair done, she had realised how much she had grown up since she last saw her family.

But she had no time to think about that now, for it was nearly her moment.

Lingering in the doorway with a glass of champagne, and sending Polly a wink, she felt her heart rate shoot up as her aunt stood up with her own glass.

"Now, before we have dessert, I'd like to make a toast." She paused, looking around the table, her own happiness threatening to overflow. "To family."

"To family!" The brothers and Michael chorused.

Stepping into the light and leaning against the doorframe, completely unnoticed by her siblings, Y/N waited until the noise had died down before gently repeating the toast: "To family."

***

It felt like time had stood still.

Arthur, John and Finn's heads whipped around to see where the voice came from. Tommy had frozen completely, tensing up as he heard his sister's voice for the first time in seven years.

"Y/N/N?" Arthur whispered, not believing his eyes.

"Hello boys," Y/N said with a smile and a teasing glint in her eye. "Did you miss me?"

John stood up slowly and made his way towards her, and Y/N stretched her hand out towards him after putting her glass down. Her little brother tentatively placed his hand in hers, and she squeezed it, reassuring him that she was really there. She saw a couple of tears form in his eyes, though he refused to let them fall. John started to laugh, wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted Y/N up, spinning her in circles and hugging her tightly. Still laughing, he exclaimed "Oh my fucking God!" and placed her down on the ground.

Y/N was next almost knocked flying with a hug from Finn, who buried his head into the crook of her neck as he cried silently. "Look at you, eh! Almost as big as me now, aren't you?" Y/N placed a soft kiss on the top of her youngest brother's head and rubbed his back soothingly. Over Finn's shoulder, she saw Arthur approaching her, seemingly lost for words. His hand cupped her cheek as he ran his thumb over it, before finally saying "Now what sort of time do you call this, young lady?" Y/N collapsed into giggles as Arthur placed a rough kiss to her forehead.

As Finn and Arthur pulled away, Y/N's eyes found the only brother who hadn't yet greeted her and who she was the most anxious to see. Tommy still hadn't moved, his eyes fixed firmly on the table in front of him, but Y/N could tell that they were cold.

"Tom?"

There was silence. After what felt to Y/N like a lifetime, Tommy spoke quietly and slowly. "I don't want to look up and find that you're not really here. That this is all in my head. I don't think I could bear it." His voice cracked slightly as he uttered the last sentence and, for the first time since the war, the family saw their brother's vulnerability as clear as day. It was a stark contrast to the Tommy Shelby that they'd gotten so used to being around.

Y/N cautiously walked over to her beloved elder brother, as if he were a spooked horse, and lowered herself into the seat beside him. She observed his eyes flit over to her as the chair creaked, so quickly that if she had blinked at the wrong moment she would have missed it. She smiled gently at Tommy. "Well I'm afraid you're going to be stuck with me for a while now, Tom, so you'd better start getting used to having me around again."

As Y/N gently placed her hand on top of his, Tommy's entire body relaxed and at the same time something ignited in him. He felt alive for the first time since the war, and yet so at peace at the same time.

Suddenly, Tommy grabbed her hand in his, pulled Y/N to her feet with him and brought her into a bone-crushing hug. A thousand emotions and lost words were communicated in that one embrace, in that one moment, even. Tommy clung to his sister like she would vanish again if he loosened his grip. It was only when she whispered "I'm here now, Tom" in his ear as he stroked her hair that he relinquished his hold on her.

Tommy pulled away only slightly from Y/N and held her face gently in his hands. "My sweet girl," he breathed, a small smile gracing his lips. Y/N brought her hand up to his and held it there, the sibling simply enjoying the moment of being together again, tear tracks staining both of their faces.

The silence was broken by Arthur, who gruffly announced: "I need another fucking drink." The whole family started to laugh, the reality of the event finally sinking in.

"Yeah, you pour us all another drink, Artie, while I go and get your pudding." Y/N skipped towards the door.

"Y/N/N we don't fucking care about pudding now, you dick, just get back here now," John shouted after her.

"Bloody hell, no need to shout, John boy, I'm only going round the corner." She leaned around the doorframe, making sure to keep one hand on it to reassure Tommy. "Anyway," Y/N continued, "I've got to give you three your coming home present!"

"Our coming home present?" Arthur chortled.

"Yes," Y/N replied, matter-of-factly. "I believed I promised you lot cake" and she entered holding a cake exactly like their Mother used to make.

The three eldest brothers simply smiled fondly at their sister, shaking their heads.

***

An hour later, the family were all crowded into Polly's living room, having consumed the entire dessert. The gramophone was gently playing music in the background, as no one had bothered to take the record off once Arthur and John had finished dancing with their sister (they had claimed that they needed their toes stepping on to bring them back to reality).

The Shelbys and Grays spent some rare time together as a family that evening. No fighting, no arguing, no business: just talking and reminiscing and laughing.

But now the night was drawing to a close. Finn had fallen asleep, the overwhelming emotions of the evening having finally caught up to him. Arthur and John were drunkenly singing in the corner of the room, yet they occasionally looked over at their sister, wanting to check that she was still there. Tommy simply felt complete again. For once his silence did not come from an attempt to conceal his true emotions, there was no point in trying that again tonight; he was just cherishing the moment, wanting it to last forever.

As for Y/N herself, she couldn't remember ever feeling so content before. She felt like she was on cloud nine, curled up to Tommy's side as they sat on the sofa together, watching the flames dance around in the hearth. His arm was around her shoulders, holding her close to him, and every now and again Y/N felt him place a soft kiss on the top of her head.

She knew that she had a lot of explaining to do. But that could wait until the morning. For now, they were a family reunited, and none of them could wish for anything more.

#peaky blinders #tommy shelby #shelby sister #shelby sis #shelby!sister #shelby!reader #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders sister #peaky blinders x sister!reader #peaky blinders fic #peaky blinder fanfic #tommy shelby x sister reader #tommy shelby x sister!reader #tommy shelby x reader #arthur shelby #john shelby #finn shelby #polly gray

1K notes · View notes

ngc-5194 · 2 years

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Hello, Lemon Drop! I hope you've had a lovely day so far 💛💛💛 I know literally next to nothing about twewy but I would be inch rested to hear your thoughts about it anyway 👀 if you'd like!

hello happi!! and hehehe ty for enabling me <333 /hj

The first character I first fell in love with - Shiki!! I think you'd like her too honestly, Happi! She was always just so kind and sweet and upbeat despite their situation, (not to mention mr. mew is Iconic) and I really loved her a lot. Were I in Neku in that situation, I think the exact same thing would've been claimed as my second entry fee, the best friend vibes she gives off are simply Too Strong.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now - Beat, honestly. Ok, so, I'll be real, I didn't especially love Neku at the start of the game either, but (considering he's the main character) I knew that I would grow to like him, no matter how much of the game it took playing through. Beat, on the other hand, I wasn't really sold on. He very much had his valid reasons for disliking Neku, and I thought he was a pretty fun character, but until like... halfway into Week 2, I found him... kinda boring? As he had more and more development and screentime though, I grew to really like him! :D

The character everyone else loves that I don’t - One Mr. Sho Minamimoto. Listen, he's fun, sure. In NEO he was great, but I just don't see the appeal. If I wanted to listen to someone scream math terms at me that they (canonically) don't completely understand, I would just go to my brother. His whole Taboo Noise plot and Leo Cantus are pretty cool though, I will admit.

The character I love that everyone else hates - Hmm,,,, I guess Yammer? Though really I think that's only a lack of people remembering him instead of actively hating him. This question doesn't really apply because I really haven't seen an exuberant amount of hate for Any character (esspecially not the ones I really like). Maybe Josh sometimes???? but there's an equal if not greater pushback of love for him, and he's one of my favourites, so ????

The character I used to love but don’t any longer - Kanon, I suppose? She never really clicked for me the way most of the rest of the cast did, but I liked her, I thought she was pretty cool. Her death didn't affect me much, but it was certaintly felt. Kinda all went up in smoke (and it's technically the writer's fault but) when offical ages were released. Kanon, a 23 year old, flirting/encouraging Fret, a 15 year old, to flirt with her is just... Not It. It's a bad look.

The character I would totally smooch - (On the cheek) Rhyme, Shoka, Eiru, Shiki, Joshua (probably maybe), and Rindo :D

The character I’d want to be like - Eri No offense to the rest of the cast, but both before and after the Game she seems to be the most put together of them all. And the one (1) thing she did wrong was accidentally cause a misunderstanding between her and Shiki. A misunderstanding in which she was trying to compliment her friend. Or the Prince, in a sense. How confident in himself he is is something quite a few people strive for. Though, I perhaps would just like to be just a bit more self confident not,,, Quite as much as he is.

The character I’d slap - *chanting* Kubo! Kubo! Kubo! Kubo! He probably wouldn't even feel it, but consider: I don't care, it'd be worth it <3

A pairing that I love - Erishiki. I am always soft for best friends to lovers. (Meaning, yes, Frindo is in here too) And, of course, Joshneku. That,,,,, their dynamic is simply Very Good, and I wish Joshua had gotten more time in NEO

A pairing that I despise - Uhh,, Mr H x Joshua and Uzuki x Kariya. The vibes are simply Off for me on those two. For,,,, a number of reasons. 💙

#asks #happi-tree #ask game #twewy #twewy spoilers #neo twewy #neo twewy spoilers #long post #ignore the proper capitalization in this post. too much writing. looked weird without proper punctuation #oh and if those last two questions were non romantic: like- neku and shiki and rhyme and beat #dislike - kitaniji and konishi #also! ty again happi i could ramble about these games for. Way too long

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kellyvela · 3 years

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GRRM has said in interviews that he’s purposely played with the romantic tension between the hound and Sansa. What do you think the endgame purpose of the unkiss and that playing is meant to be for?

This is all what he said about the matter in question so far:

The Hound and Sansa, romantic or platonic? It could be very different things to each of those involved, mind you!

JUNE 24, 1999 THE HOUND AND SANSA

Moreta12: I understand, I’ve heard your opinion on that. In ACOK, it seems that the relationship between the Hound and Sansa had romantic undertones. Is that true?

GeoRR: Well, read the book and decide for yourself.

Moreta12: I’ve read the book and I’ve debated those particular scenes with a few others. Half say that it’s romantic and half say it’s platonic. I’ve taken the romantic stance.

GeoRR: It could be very different things to each of those involved, mind you

Moreta12:Yes, but it seem like evidence points towards romantic undertones. Will the Hound appear later?

GeoRR: Yes, the Hound will be in STORM OF SWORDS. In fact, I just finished writing a big scene with him.

[Source]

When will Sansa be “legal”? **ºª@”¡¿x<%$!&?

OCTOBER 05, 1999 AGE OF SEXUAL RELATIONS IN WESTEROS

The nature of the relationship between Sandor and Sansa has been a hot topic on Revanshe’s board. Sansa’s youth has been one focus of the discussion. What is the general Westerosi view as to romantic or sexual relationships involving a girl of Sansa’s age and level of physical maturity?

A boy is Westeros is considered to be a “man grown” at sixteen years. The same is true for girls. Sixteen is the age of legal majority, as twenty-one is for us.

However, for girls, the first flowering is also very significant… and in older traditions, a girl who has flowered is a woman, fit for both wedding and bedding.

A girl who has flowered, but not yet attained her sixteenth name day, is in a somewhat ambigious position: part child, part woman. A “maid,” in other words. Fertile but innocent, beloved of the singers.

In the “general Westerosi view,” well, girls may well be wed before their first flowerings, for political reasons, but it would considered perverse to bed them. And such early weddings, even without sex, remain rare. Generally weddings are postponed until the bride has passed from girlhood to maidenhood.

Maidens may be wedded and bedded… however, even there, many husbands will wait until the bride is fifteen or sixteen before sleeping with them. Very young mothers tend to have significantly higher rates of death in childbirth, which the maesters will have noted.

As in the real Middle Ages, highborn girls tend to flower significantly earlier than those of lower birth. Probably a matter of nutrition. As a result, they also tend to marry earlier, and to bear children earlier. There are plenty of exceptions.

[Source]

Unreliable Narrator

JUNE 26, 2001 SF, TARGARYENS, VALYRIA, SANSA, MARTELLS, AND MORE

[GRRM is asked about Sansa misremembering the name of Joffrey’s sword.]

The Lion’s Paw / Lion’s Tooth business (*), on the other hand, is intentional. A small touch of the unreliable narrator. I was trying to establish that the memories of my viewpoint characters are not infallible. Sansa is simply remembering it wrong. A very minor thing (you are the only one to catch it to date), but it was meant to set the stage for a much more important lapse in memory. You will see, in A STORM OF SWORDS and later volumes, that Sansa remembers the Hound kissing her the night he came to her bedroom… but if you look at the scene, he never does. That will eventually mean something, but just now it’s a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.

[Source]

(*) It was Arya who misremembered the name of Joffrey’s sword tho…

Unreliable Narrator 2.0

OCTOBER 05, 2002 SANSA’S MEMORY

[Note: This mail has been edited for brevity.]

… this is an inconsistency with ASoS more than an outright error. In ASoS, Sansa thinks that the Hound kissed her before leaving her room and King’s Landing. In ACoK, no kiss is mentioned in the scene, though Sansa did think that he was about to do so.

Well, not every inconsistency is a mistake, actually. Some are quite intentional. File this one under “unreliable narrator” and feel free to ponder its meaning

[Source]

Unreliable Narrator 3.0

NOVEMBER 27, 2007 GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

Here’s a really particular question (which I realize means it probably won’t get asked in a general interview): In A Storm of Swords, there is a chapter early on where Sansa is thinking back to the scene at the end of A Clash of Kings when The Hound came into her room during the battle. She thinks in the chapter about how he kissed her, but in the scene in A Clash of Kings, this actually didn’t happen. Was that a typo or something? —Valdora

GRRM: It’s not a typo. It is something! [Laughs] ”Unreliable narrator” is the key phrase there. The second scene is from Sansa’s thoughts. And what does that reveal about her psychologically? I try to be subtle about these things.

[Source]

Sansa may be dead but Alayne is alive

APRIL 15, 2008 FUTURE MEETINGS, POVS, ARYA’S ROLE, EASTERN LANDS, AND ASSASSINS

[Will Sandor and Sansa meet?]

Why, the Hound is dead, and Sansa may be dead as well. There’s only Alayne Stone.

[Source]

A lot more dangerous than romantic

AUGUST 2, 2009 AS SER JORAH MORMONT…

weltraummuell: The Hound Oh please don’t cast an old guy for the Hound, his scenes with Sansa are so romantic and erotic, I couldn’t bear if it’d feel creepy all of a sudden. Well, that’s me making demands. LOL

GRRM: Re: The Hound Old guy? No, but… the Hound is still a whole lot older than Sansa, and was never written as attractive… you know, those hideous burns and all that… he’s a lot more dangerous than he is romantic.

kestrana: The Hound Yeah its a “girl always wants the bad boy” kind of thing although Sansa seems to pull something else out of him. It feels so wrong sometimes but I want to see them together again tee hee.

weltraummuell: The Hound Hehe, George, maybe you didn’t intend it, but he turned out to be a very erotic character to female readers. Especially since he’s mutilated and dangerous. Makes him unpredictable and vulnerable which is the most explosive aphrodisiac for a girl’s fantasy. ;)

weltraummuell: The Hound And I know from discussions on other board other women feel just the same about Sandor. He’s an absolute favourite with the ladies!

halfbloodmalfoy: The Hound LOL, you’re such a man. To many of us women, dangerous *is* attractive.

GRRM: The Hound But no one has any love for poor old Sam Tarly, kind and smart and decent and devoted…

[Source]

I played with it but I didn’t get the answer I was waiting for

JUNE 22, 2012 SWORD & LASER VIDEO PODCAST

GRRM: I am sometimes surprised by the reactions, of women in particular, to some of the villains. The number of women over the years who have written to me that their favorite characters are Jaime Lannister or Sandor Clegane [the Hound] or Theon Greyjoy… All of these are deeply troubled individuals with some very dark sides, who have done some very dark things. Nonetheless, they do draw this response, and quite heavily, I think, in the case of some of them, from my female readers in particular.

Veronica Belmont: I’m a big fan of the Hound, myself, actually.

Tom Merritt: Of Sandor? Really?

Veronica Belmont: Yeah, the Hound… Maybe it’s not because I feel any compassion towards them, I’m not really sure what the attraction is. Ah, I’m not going to call it attraction, actually. Let’s just say it’s a fascination, perhaps.

GRRM: [Chuckles] Well, I mean, fascination is one thing, but some of these letters indicate that there really is like a romantic attraction going on there. And I do know there’s all these people out there who are, as they call themselves, the “San/San” fans, who want to see Sandor and Sansa get together at the end. So that’s interesting, too.

Tom Merritt: The TV show has sort of played with that a little, and probably stoked those fires.

GRRM: Oh, sure. And I’ve played with it in the books. There’s something there, but it’s still interesting to see how many people have responded to it.

[Source]

I played with it but I didn’t get the answer I was waiting for 2.0

JUNE 23, 2015 GRRM Q&A AT THE SCIENCE FICTION BOOKSTORE IN STOCKHOLM

Question: “Is there any fan reactions that you have been surprised by, like is there a character that’s more popular than you thought or have people been shocked by something you didn’t think we would be shocked at?”

GRRM: “I’m reasonably certain what people will be shocked by. I knew that the Red Wedding would provoke a big reaction and it did. I was pretty confident that, you know, throwing Bran out the window and then killing Ned in the first book would get reactions, and indeed they did. All of those worked exactly the way it did to the extent that things that have surprised me, they tend to be smaller things. I guess I… Maybe I should not have, I don’t know. How do I phrase this without getting myself in terrible trouble… I guess I don’t understand women, but I was definitely, you know, way back when, surprised by the number of women who reacted positively to characters like Theon and the Hound as dashing, romantic figures. The san/san kind of thing took me by surprise, I must admit, and even more so the women who, and there are some, who really like Theon. So that surprised me.”

[Source]

Unreliable Narrator 4.0

DECEMBER 2016 ASKING GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ABOUT S@N/S@N

My question is regarding Sansa Stark. Her sexuality has evolved through every book and yet the memory that seems to stick the more with her in this regard is the night of the Blackwater. So I was wondering if you can expand on your view on what this is, since as before that night her interactions with Sandor Clegane weren’t really physical.

The night of the Blackwater, yes. Ahhh… Well, I’m not going to give you a straight answer on that hahaha… Uhmmm, but I would say that ahhh… you know a television show and a book each has its own strengths and weaknesses; there a re tools that are available to me as a novelist, that are not available to people doing a television show. And of course there are tools available to them, that are not available to a novelist, I mean they can lay in a soundtrack, they can do special effects, they can do amazing things that I can’t do, I just have words on paper. What can I do, well I can use things like the internal narrative, I can take you inside of territories… thoughts, which you can’t do in a TV show… Ahhh… You just have the words they speak, you see them from outside because the camera is external, while prose is internal, and I have the device known as “unreliable narrator”… Ahhh… Which again, they don’t have. So, think about those two aspects when you consider that night of the Blackwater.

[Source]

Do with it what you will.

#anon asks #sansa stark #the so called unkiss #grrm #asoiaf

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fancybehaviour · 3 years

Text

Daddy Woes

Summary:

Harry is a good husband; so he sends his wife out on a much needed girls day. James Sirius is a naughty boy; so he sends his father down an anxiety spiral.

Notes:

Written for @harryandginuary BINGO!

Prompt I 23: “Why are there zucchini all over our kitchen?” “Do you not like zucchini?”

The sun had sunk low on the horizon, and in a few minutes would dissapear for the night. About dinner time, thought Ginny, as she made her way home after a long enjoyable day, her heels clicking rhythmically against the cobble. As she walked, she rewinded the highlights of her girls day out with Hermione and Luna in her head. Ginny had had an absolute hoot meeting her friends.She was sure she would continue to reminisce until the next time she could have such a day; after all being the mother of a seven month old meant that such trips were a rarity and she cherished them a lot.

Her legs ached from all the walking around she did while she helped Luna shop for her trip and she was looking forward to taking the nice long bath her husband had promised to draw her. She let out a sigh as she thought of sinking her aching legs in a hot bath, her husband perched at the edge of her bathtub as she gave him an exaggerated recount of the day's events peppered with silly nonsensical jokes, him guffawing at them all even though he had already heard them all. He did that a lot these days, laughing. Especially since the birth of their beautiful boy.

She felt a swell of love rise in her as she thought of her family; her seven month old baby son who could scream the house down and her loving husband who tried his best to give her respite from the said infant.

"Harry?" she called, pushing the front door to close and locking it. "James darling? I'm back home. Did you boys have fun?". She continued heading towards the kitchen where she could hear noises, taking care not to trip over the many toys that were strewn about their living room. Courtesy of their many relatives and friends, James seemed to have an amount of toys that seemed absolutely ridiculous to Ginny who couldn't remember seeing so many toys even at the Burrow, that had been the residence of seven children. Making the matter even more ridiculous was the fact that James's favourite toys were actually the copper pots and pans that he liked to bang about making noise.

It was only when she reached the kitchen and took in the desecration that it was that she realised that perhaps today, she might be the only one in the Potter household who might have had any semblance of fun.

Eyes darting from her slightly whimpering son in his high chair, to the trail of food spills surrounding him to the multicoloured stains adorning her husband's apron and his miserable face, she decided to address a whole other issue: “Why are there zucchini all over our kitchen?”

“Do you not like zucchini?”, asked Harry, in a tone that might have been wry if it weren't for the long suffering expression on his face.

"Absolutely not. Can't believe you thought I did, the honor of questionable taste will forever be Hermione's ."

He gave a laugh that seemed more for her benefit (making Ginny wonder if parenthood had done a number on her humour too) and set about cleaning up. Ginny walked into the kitchen and lifted the whimpering toddler into her arms. She pressed a loud smacking kiss on both of his chubby, chubby cheeks, and rocked him gently, seemingly this was all that was needed for his whimpers seemed to slowly subside. She could feel Harry's eyes on them as he continued to clean up the mess; she remained silent, waiting for him to tell her what was weighing on his mind.

Instead he said, "He missed you," so she turns around to see him, looking at them softly with a look on his face that Ginny could only describe as melancholy. It reminded Ginny of her fifth year, when he looked at her like that, like she was everything he wanted but was unattainable.

It seems she was going to have to demand answers after all. Very well.

"Alright Potter, spill. Whatever happened today that has got you relapsing into your teenage angst?"

He laughed, and this time it was a genuine one; BINGO!

Pulling a chair at their kitchen table and settling himself down he said " James kept crying after you left. A lot."

"Uh-huh. Nothing he hasn't done before. "

"Yeah. Sure. But today I just realised.."

"Yeah?" She asked, settling down into the chair opposite him, shifting James into her lap who seemed very fascinated with playing with her hair.

Harry watched him for a moment and then continued, "I know James crying is nothing new. Yet for some reason, it just bothered me today, you know."

"Uh-huh."

"It made me feel like a bad parent." he confesses, looking a bit surprised himself, perhaps at that he had spoken it out loud, yet continued with "I have been feeling like it a lot these days."

There.The dam had finally broken. Ginny had long since suspected that Harry was having troubles with parenting. She had caught him brooding about with a tea mug in his hands instead of going back to bed after whatever ungodly hour James Sirius had decided to wake them up.

She tried many times,to get him to talk, but between her own exhaustion, an infant with a strong pair of lungs and Harry's stubborn refusal to burden Ginny with anymore than she was already dealing with nothing had come out of it. But now that he seemed to want to talk, Ginny did not stop him.

"I just… "he paused, and swallowed, something he did when he was overcome with emotion but wanted to bite it down.

"I want to do this right. I have never wanted so badly to do something right in my whole life. Family..it means everything to me and I want to be a good father but I'm afraid I am failing."

"You are an amazing father, Harry."

He shook his head.

"Am I?"

"Yes" Ginny agreed furiously.

Harry looked into her eyes at that and she hoped he could read her, that he could see himself from her eyes, how she fell in love with him more and more everyday as she saw more and more of dad Harry.

Looking away he continued, "I sure don't feel like it. Today, while you were away, all Jamie wanted was his Mum. I tried everything, feeding him your milk, his favourite toys - yes the pans and pots, we are lucky we have no neighbours- feeding him all sorts of baby food and yet nothing seemed to work for long before he started wailing again. "

Ginny replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm being condescending, but this is the only way I can seem to put it- he's a toddler Harry. No one knows why toddlers do what they do. If he was fussy with you today and missed me I doubt it's because he has decided you were a bad parent."

"I know that - rationally.But the part of me - the same part of me that gets jealous of blokes trying to chat you up or worries that Ron is going to make a new best friend - that part of me makes me think I have been a bad father."

"Today when Jamie kept crying for you, and I wasn't able to calm him down or feed him any of the amalgamation of baby foods I made- it just felt like I was in over my head, without a clue about what was doing. I might as well have been one of those dads who say they are 'babysitting' their kids and leave them up to their mothers and that's not- I never want to be that."

"I don't just want to do this right, I want be good at this. Like I am at Quidditch or catching dark wizards. I know I can catch a snitch, I know how to find a criminal on the run from law. Just like that, I want to be good at taking care of my son...but today, everything I did kept failing and that made me think.."

"James dented your confidence, didn't he," she said softly.

"He did," Harry agrees looking over at the boy who was happily sucking on his toes, completely ignorant of the spiral he had sent his father through.

Lacing her fingers with his, she said,"My mum told me, with parenting, there's bad days and good days, but you've got to understand that having bad days is not equivalent to being a bad parent."

"I imagine she had a lot of those, with seven of you," replied Harry wryly.

"Two of them Fred and George", Ginny reminded him.

They sat for a moment in silence both lost in thought.

"Gin-"

"Harry" ,they both started at the same time, and Harry motioned for her to go on.

"I was just thinking - I had help with this. My mum, Fleur, Angelina, my teammates - I had people to talk this with. To reassure me that I wasn't doing things wrong. But you don't have that."

"No. But I've got you."

"You do," she agrees. "But also, maybe you should talk to people too. Maybe my dad or Bill or George"

He snorts at that. "If anyone had told me ten years ago that I'd be talking parenting with George.." he trails off as Ginny gives a light chuckle.

"Seriously though," she says again, "Give it a try. I'm always here though. To listen. Or if you wanna get competitive over who is the worse parent".

Grinning, he says "I fed him courgettes Gin. He hated it. I'm winning this game." and she smiles at him, simply happy to see him happy.

"Oh and what is it?", she asks, and at his quizzical raise of eyebrows she elaborates, "that you wanted to say? You wanted to say something but you let me go first."

At that he gives her a wide smile and says,

"Just that I love you."

#harry potter x ginny weasley #harry and ginuary #harry potter series #harry james potter #harry styles #ginny weasley #ginevra molly weasley #ginnymollyweasley #ginny molly weasley #ginevra weasley #ginny tag #hinny #hinny drabble #married hinny #harry x ginny #james sirius potter

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politalysis · 3 years

Text

# What has happened to JK Rowling?

Growing up in the early 2000s immediately made Harry Potter a huge part of your childhood. Even if you never read the books or watched the films, you can probably name the three main characters. Even if you weren’t interested in Harry Potter in the slightest, you probably know your Hogwarts house. It’s incredible what Harry Potter did for our generation all over the world. Children would stay up on their eleventh birthdays anxiously awaiting a Hogwarts acceptance letter, knowing full well that owl was never going to come. Our imagination kept the dream of going to Hogwarts and learning magic alive anyway. Even now at the age of 23, I can for the most part keep a conversation flowing with anyone who has read the books or even just watched the films. You could even go as far as to say it was our generation’s Lord of the Rings.

JK Rowling came from very humble beginnings. She suffered with depression in her childhood and early teens, and lost her mother to multiple sclerosis in 1990. These struggles inspired her a lot when writing Harry Potter. She channeled her grief and pain into her writing. In 1992, she married a man she had met whilst living in Portugal, but Rowling suffered domestic abuse at his hands and the couple separated a year later. She lost her job and moved to Edinburgh in Scotland, where she had to sign up for welfare benefits, which left her a poor and depressed single mother spending her time writing in coffee shops. When she finished writing Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, twelve publishers rejected the opportunity to publish the book. Once someone finally agreed to publish the book, it became the best selling children’s book of the year.

We all know how the story goes from there. Rowling wrote six more Harry Potter books, eight films were made, and Rowling went from a poor vulnerable single mother to a multi millionaire in the space of a few short years. Harry Potter is now a global brand estimated to be worth about $15 billion. The last four books have each consecutively set the record for the fastest selling book in history. Rowling is now the richest author in the world, with a net worth of $92 million. But as well as money, JK Rowling has over 14 million followers on Twitter. This gives her massive influence as well as money. Rowling seemed to initially use this influence for good, spreading mental health awareness, LGBT inclusivity, interacting with fans and creating a website for all us Harry Potter fans to determine our houses and let our wands choose us.

I remember being 8 years old when Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was released, and I was attending a religious school where some parents complained and called to ban Harry Potter over the controversial decision JK Rowling made regarding Dumbledore’s sexuality. Rowling had made the claim that Dumbledore was gay. Looking back, the controversy was ridiculous and I can only imagine how embarrassed some of those parents must be. I also remember as I got older, re-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I noticed more that the emotion behind Dumbledore’s relationship with Grindelwald was one he held with a romantic love. So years later, when several members of the LGBT community attacked Rowling for only deciding Dumbledore’s sexuality after the books were written, I publicly defended her with my knowledge that that simply wasn’t true. I had this image of Rowling in my mind, that she had always been on the right side of this debate. She had always been inclusive and supportive of LGBT people as far as I could see, and I just didn’t understand the issue. Rowling had always expressed a centre-left political perspective, and although I didn’t agree with all her views, they seemed relatively uncontroversial.

When Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was released, I hated it. It was a literary disaster, completely disrespectful of the original book series, the characters were a shell of the characters we had grown up with, the plot was almost deliberately ridiculous and overly elaborate and I immediately dismissed it as not canon. I have never forgiven JK Rowling for publicly stating the book was canon. She almost destroyed a whole two decades of her own hard work and the franchise that she’d built that had been like a home for a whole generation. All because she wanted to grab a few extra quid for a terrible book she didn’t even write. To this day I can’t help but wonder if she has even read the book. If I had written the masterpiece that is Harry Potter, I would view the Cursed Child as an insult. Perhaps I’ll even write a review one day, just for fun. Rowling also annoyed me by going back on her story, regretting pairing Ron and Hermione together and not pairing Hermione with Harry. Ron and Hermione are my favourite couple from the story, and their relationship had so much meaning. I couldn’t believe that the author who wrote such a clever and consistent relationship between two beloved characters could ever regret it. At this point in my life, I was beginning to wonder if perhaps Rowling was losing her mind. It was almost like she was trying to destroy her legacy.

As more years passed, the Fantastic Beasts films were released. The first film looked promising, but the second film was yet another disaster. Again, it was inconsistent with the franchise as we knew it, for some reason Hogwarts was full of people wearing 3 piece suits instead of the robes they wore in the Harry Potter series and Minerva McGonigall appeared as a teacher despite the fact that canonically there is no way she could have been old enough. The film was a disaster with both fans and critics hating it. Amongst this mess came controversy in December 2019. Rowling lost all respect she had once held amongst the transgender community when she made a public statement supporting Maya Forstater, a British woman who lost her employment tribunal case against her employer who fired her over transphobic comments. Six months later on June 6 2020, Rowling criticised the term “people who menstruate” and stated: "If sex isn’t real, the lived reality of women globally is erased. I know and love trans people, but erasing the concept of sex removes the ability of many to meaningfully discuss their lives." Rowling’s views on these issues were heavily criticised by GLAAD and even by the actors from the Harry Potter movies including lead actors Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson.

Rowling published a 3,600 word essay in response to the mass criticism of her views four days later. The essay did her no favours, as she wrote: “When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside.” She seemed to be suggesting that trans women are often just men disguised as women in order to trick or even harm other women. This obviously angered the transgender community even more, and women’s refuge shelters that allow trans women were reporting no rise in violence as a result, children’s charities that support gender non conforming children were criticising Rowling, she was being made to give back awards and ultimately Rowling was labelled a Trans exclusionary radical feminist, a term often abbreviated to TERF.

JK Rowling is the perfect example of how money and influence can make someone forget their roots so easily. For someone who survived poverty, domestic abuse and sexual assault, she is so lacking in self awareness and how the things she has said and done can be harmful to transgender people. It is widely reported that transgender women are at more risk of harm in female restrooms than cisgender women. With acceptance becoming the norm, transgender people are feeling more safe to come out now than ever before, and so the rise in numbers of the community is huge, especially amongst our generation who grew up with Harry Potter. For a young transgender teenager to grow up wondering how Hogwarts would accommodate them, only to hear the author who gave us Hogwarts in the first place disapprove of equal rights for transgender people, must be very disheartening. However, JK Rowling has proven that she has no idea how powerful the legacy her books created really is. She was tasked with following up the Harry Potter series, and what she gave us was inconsistent and very poorly written screenplays. I have read better sequels on tumblr. Lots of them. Hogwarts doesn’t belong to JK Rowling, it belongs to the fandom. And I’ll be willing to bet my last penny that if Professor McGonigall witnessed any bullying of transgender students in her classroom (or indeed the girls bathroom!) she’d absolutely defend the victim without a moment’s hesitation. Hermione would decorate the Gryffindor common room with little blue, pink and white flags in support of a transgender first year who’d just been sorted into Gryffindor. Luna Lovegood would sit and befriend any trans student who looked lonely, and Ginny would dish out a bat bogey hex to anyone who dared pick on them. No matter what JK Rowling thinks, Hogwarts is not hers to ruin. It is ours. Regardless of what makes us different, Hogwarts is our home.

#jk rowling #harry potter #hogwarts #gryffindor #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #slytherin #gay dumbledore #trans rights #edinburgh #professor umbridge #fuck rowling #cursed child is not canon #ron and hermione #lgbtq #lgbt representation #writing

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zero-cycle · 2 years

Text

I added 368 tags in 2021

#mcc - 87 posts

#dsmp - 47 posts

#hermitcraft - 41 posts

#last life spoilers - 37 posts

#mcsr - 34 posts

#discord shenanigans - 31 posts

#last life - 29 posts

#eret - 23 posts

#don't mind me just watching a tournament - 20 posts

#nare writes - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#dsmp is not the end-all of mcyt and some of you would greatly benefit to just take a week off of dsmp streams and watch some other creators

My Top Posts in 2021

Yeah Minecraft Monday sucked on so many levels that cannot even be described anymore but it also gave us George and Dream literally jumping into Bad and Skeppy's teamspeak to help them win and those moments still live rent free in my mind.

89 notes • Posted 2021-10-10 16:09:15 GMT

Been thinking about MCC recently and reading too much fanfiction about Illumina becoming the universe and this was the result I guess.

There is a record on the practice server that has never been broken.

It doesn’t make sense, doesn’t it? It’s a practice server. The entire point is to practice, to beat old records over and over and over again until you’ve done everything you can and learned everything there is to learn. If you came on for the first time, those might be the questions you ask, the questions you pester everyone else with but never get an answer to. Until you learn better, until you learn to accept that this record will stay until the end of times, until the universe crashes and burns and every last trace of that player will be gone.

65:02:25, the numbers read in floating yellow letters.

It’s a beatable time, you might think. Maybe you go and ask around the others there - training, competing, always trying to improve - why they haven’t yet.

“He was a crackhead,” Dream says and the words sound like they’re supposed to be mean but they seem fond and a little bit sad. “If he wanted to waste an hour of his life for that, he can do that but I won’t.”

“It doesn’t give enough coins,” Sapnap shrugs. “Not worth it.”

“Already beat it,” Mefs answers with a cheeky grin. “But trying to beat it legitimately...I’m not insane enough for that.” “I already have the Ace Race record, that’s enough for me,” Seapeekay laughs.

“It doesn’t matter in the real event anyway,” Quig explains. “The walls come from all sides, this isn’t good training for that.”

“Believe me, I’ve tried,” 5up sighs.

Fruitberries just blankly stares at you and when you blink, he’s already disappeared.

“He always got them beaten so quickly it was unfair,” Tapl says, quiet and sad. “He should get to keep that one at least.”

[rest is deleted to not murder your dashboard]

104 notes • Posted 2021-10-30 23:55:19 GMT

People joke that there’s three things you can always recognize speedrunners on: They wear a mask that covers at least half their face, they’re either ridiculously lucky or unlucky and they carry a necklace with a dragon tooth.

The rumours aren’t wrong. Many of the runners prefer masks, for one reason or the other. Most people have never seen Illumina’s face. Red cloth covers the lower half of Benex’ face at all times. Dylan, when he decides to look more human, does the same with a green scarf. Feinberg’s helmet has never been taken off in public.

And luck does like to toy with them, her favourites. Sometimes she will give out her generosity and the runners celebrate those rare, few times. Other times….well. There’s a reason the world record hasn’t been broken in months.

As for the necklace: It’s tradition to take the teeth of the first dragon you kill.

[rest is deleted to not murder your dashboard]

191 notes • Posted 2021-12-06 22:51:46 GMT

This is horribly rough because I speedran this in less than half an hour but I got inspired and this wanted to be written now. Snippet of @dreamsmp-au-ideas Archetype AU. Hope you'll forgive me for any inaccuracies or typos, it's the middle of the night for me.

Something is wrong.

Foolish knows something is wrong because his companion doesn’t normally disappear without a word. Sure, they’ve taken off on their own before but they’ve always told them when to expect them back before. But this time they’ve just said “Be back soon” and left without any more information.

So Foolish searched for them. He wouldn’t, normally. Eret deserves their freedom and his respect of their decisions. But Foolish hasn’t been a God and a Protector for so long without listening to his instincts.

And even if Eret isn’t in trouble, they’ll appreciate the help, right?

[rest deleted to not murder your dashboards]

194 notes • Posted 2021-04-02 23:03:08 GMT

Etho's run this season of Last Life is frankly insane. Not only has he brought back a red former ally twice, but he's also been the boogeyman twice, successfully killed somebody both times and is still on basically nobody's shit list and has one of the last still-standing bases. This man. He signs Scar's contract one episode and threatens to break it the next one and Scar doesn't even try to argue but instead retreats. Hell, he put Mumbo on red and got away scot-free despite multiple of Mumbo's former allies being there.

And he hasn't died a single time this season.

440 notes • Posted 2021-10-27 21:56:57 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #that's actually hysterical #mcc is probably my top tag because it's the only one i consistently remember to tag #also i stand by my longest tag and that's why it's staying in here

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lonelier-version-of-you · 3 years

Note

Ange Goddard

(Right, getting back to these character asks now. I'll finish them over the evening.)

Why I like them: She's a pretty great character, one of Holby's best introductions in recent years. They've done a great job of fleshing her out, I feel like we've gotten to know her much better than we did for some other characters that were there for the same amount of time or even longer. I love how multifaceted she is - she can be kind and gentle when she needs to be, yet also firm and determined, or even both at once.

Why I don't: I don't think there's anything I particularly dislike about her. Uh, she's been pretty patronising to Jason when they've interacted, so there's that, but you could say that about most characters because the Holby writers seem to think the right way to interact with autistic people is to patronise us for some reason. So it's a writing problem, not an Ange problem.

Favourite episode: I don't remember what episode number it was, just that it was a series 21 ep, but she was great in 'Running' - the one where Dom finds out she's his mum.

Favourite season: Torn between series 21 (her first series) and series 23 (the current one)! Series 23 hasn't been great for a lot of characters, but I think it's been pretty good for Ange so far.

Favourite line: Can't think of one.

Favourite outfit: I don't think we've seen it in ages, but I liked that blue coat she had!

OTP: With Josh, obviously. I don't think I ship her with anyone else.

BroTP: Her and her kids. Also, see my point from yesterday about how Ange and Roxanna would have made an EXCELLENT friendship and I'm still sad it'll never happen.

Headcanon: Hm, I'm not actually sure if I have any Ange headcanons! Might have to skip this one.

Unpopular opinion: It's really weird how they wrote it so she was literally barely a teenager when she got pregnant with Dom, and yet they framed his conception as a "normal consensual one-night stand". They said she gave him up when she was 14 in September 1987, right? And his birthday is at the end of March. So that's 9 months for the pregnancy, plus an additional 6 months before she gave him up... she would've been 13 at the oldest (or possibly even younger) when she got pregnant. She wasn't able to consent at that age. Either they should've made her a few years older so she would've been more in her mid-to-late teens, or they should have switched the backstories for the kids so Dom was the product of rape (that was actually acknowledged as rape, I mean) and Chloe's conception was consensual. (But then I guess that wouldn't have let them do the gross "ooh, she's a child of rape and now she's been raped too, aren't we clever" thing with Chloe...)

On a less controversial but probably still unpopular note, while she and Fletch were a relatively better pairing than most of his other romances, I still didn’t think she had any chemistry with him.

A wish: I guess it would be nice if they actually addressed her trauma from being kidnapped by Cameron at some point before the show ends. I don't want them to go super heavy on it because (especially with Josh being ill) we don't need any more misery, but I want it to at least be touched on.

Also I would've liked to see some interaction between her and Henrik during his CSA storyline. It would've been interesting, because they have similar trauma, but they're also very different people who were abused under very different circumstances and have different ways of coping. But now that story's over and done with, I don't want the show touching it with a ten-foot pole ever again, so I'm leaving that particular wish in the past.

An oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen: They had BETTER not break her and Josh up.

5 words to best describe them: Kind, loving, strong, determined, passionate. Go me, I actually came up with 5 words.

My nickname for them: Don't think I have one! Which is weird, because it feels like I should for some reason.

#asks #anons #tw;csa #tw;sexual abuse #tw;rape #tagging for the discussion of her backstory #long post

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whathappenedtomyweekend · 3 years

Text

It’s Just A Spark Ch.4 - Second Glances

Hiccup was late the next day, earling a partly stern, partly amused look from Gobber.

"So … went well last night?"

Hiccup did not fail to notice his suggestive tone and huffed, running a hand through his unkempt hair.

"Not as 'well' as you think. We just stayed out pretty late last night and I overslept."

"Ah," Gobber acknowledged, still smirking. "Seeing as she didn't run away the second she saw you as you assumed-"

"Honestly, Gobber, that's a new low, even for you."

The older man just laughed. After a while, Hiccup uttered, "Remember what you said about not spending the time I spend with her in my head? The second she opened her door, I just sort of stopped. I spent the whole evening with her without second guessing myself. She's just …" he tousled his hair again, letting out a breathless chuckle. "She's something else. It feels like with her I don't really have to decide, or turn things over and over, it's … confusing. In a good way.I wanna figure her out. I wanna know what makes her tick and know the way she thinks."

"Oh boy …" Gobber mumbled to himself, thinking, 'he is absolutely smitten'.

oOo

Astrid was humming. While working. It seemed almost outrageous to be in this much of a good mood. She was supposed to concentrate on her tasks - even if it was something as mindless as cleaning the cages - and not on the events of last night! And yet, she couldn't help but let her thoughts linger. Specifically on Hiccup. She smiled as she realised she silently referred to him as Hiccup too now.

He'd walked her home that night. Usually people would simply insist on doing so and Astrid would refuse, but Hiccup had simply grinned that lopsided grin of his and had said, that if she wanted to he'd like to walk her home and Astrid had accepted, gladly even. It was the she realised she hadn't really wanted to say goodbye just yet. She'd never say this out loud but that scared her a bit. She wasn't used to these kind of feelings and wasn't sure yet if she was okay with them. It all had all gone a bit fast, but then again, this had been building up for some time now.

Her first impression with him then had been so different from what she knew now. When they'd met she thought she'd only seen his physical attributes and had seen him as this serious, precise and abrupt professional.

The second glance had revealed much more - of course, he still was outrageously attractive, but Astrid now knew that he was in fact not as serious, nor curt or simple. He was funny and considerate and thoughtful and gentle and, goodness, that wasn't enough. She wanted second glances and third, fourth, fifth glances. She wanted to get to know him - really get to know him, past his smile and his lighthearted jokes.

Astrid sat there in litter and sand and thought, 'I hope he lets me.'

oOo

It was already dark when Hiccup got home. He felt as if he'd been dragged through hell and back; his lungs felt accordingly.

"Hey, bud," he rasped and gently scratched the black cat's ears. "Sorry for taking so long. We had two fires today. I'm just glad everyone got out well. You hungry?"

Toothless meowed and scrutinised him with bright green eyes, snapping his tail. Hiccup grinned and click-thumped towards the cupboard, wincing slightly with every step he took.

"I can't wait to get some ice on there," he muttered. "Remind me to keep some at the office."

He watched Toothless eat for a while, then he carefully shifted his weight back on his prosthesis and shuffled into the bathroom in search for his diffuser.

'A one-legged fireman with asthma,' he thought. 'How ironic.'

His phone started ringing just as he set his foot into the cold water. Hiccup shivered and picked up.

"Haddock?"

"I heard you had a date" the solemn voice of his father established. Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"Hey Dad, how are you? I'm fine, thanks for asking."

"Hiccup."

"Okay, sorry. So Gobber already spilled, huh? That didn't last long," Hiccup commented dryly, heaved the diffuser onto the stool next to the bathtub and turned it on.

"No," his father replied but then quickly picked up the reason for his call again. "So? A date?"

"Yes."

"How'd you manage?"

"Wow, dad, don't make it sound like being a 23-year old man who didn't have a date in the past five years of his life is disappointing."

His dad laughed. "So, come on, who is she?"

"Her name is Astrid Hofferson, she lives a couple of blocks away from me, actually. We met because she set her stove on fire - several times, I should mention. It took me a while to work up the courage to ask for her number. We went out yesterday at had a nice dinner at the Che Dragon."

"Hold on, did you say Hofferson? That name rings a bell." His father stayed silent for a while, which Hiccup used to dry his still slightly aching stump.

"Ah, now I remember!" Stoick Haddock bellowed, making his son flinch involuntarily. "Astrid Hofferson, of course! She's at the Smith's whenever we have a get together with the company."

"Oh. Yeah, she mentioned working part-time in a bar."

"She's a nice young lady, Hiccup, congratulations."

He chuckled. "We're not getting married, Dad, we just had our first date."

"So there will be others?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, yes. I invited her over for Friday. I'm cooking."

He practically heard his father raise an eyebrow and sighed.

"I promise my intentions are honorable."

"Good, I didn't raise you to be a brute like your cousin."

Silence. A defiant 'Snot changed a lot since he was sixteen, Dad' was quickly swallowed back down.

Instead Hiccup replied, "I know, Dad, I know. But, um … promise next time you see her not to talk about me. She probably doesn't even know you're my dad."

"Alright, my lips are sealed. I'll see you next Wednesday for lunch?"

Hiccup smiled. "Yup. 'Night, Dad."

"Good night, boy."

Stoick hung up. Hiccup sighed. Twenty-three years old and his father still refused to acknowledge it. The thoughts about his father were loudly interrupted by his growling stomach. Right. Nourishment. Pasta sounded good. Humming lightly Hiccup strapped his prosthesis back on and made his way back downstairs where Toothless waited for him. On the way down he idly wondered what Astrid's favourite kind of pasta was.

oOo

'Quickfire question: favourite kind of pasta?'

Astrid's heart jumped. Trying to bite back a grin, she texted back, 'Alfredo in terms of fettuchine or spaghetti etc , but Lasagna has a special spot in my heart. Yours? Though I feel like your message served some future reference..'.

Still smiling she set down her phone and turned her attention back to the book in front of her. She was only a couple of pages further in when her phone buzzed again.

'you guessed right ;^) Can't go towards Friday unprepared! I'm a man of simple taste, I usually just make good old pomidoro'.

She hummed.

'Simple taste, huh?'

'well..'

'Anything else that applies to?'

He typed, then stopped. Then, 'now you're just messing with me.'

She laughed. 'You guessed right ;)'. And after a moment of hesitation she added, 'You had a good evening?'

She imagined him laugh and run his fingers through his hair.

'almost got fried back in the city, but got out alright, everyone else did too. Those are my favourite days'

'I'm really glad - also glad you made it out fine!'

'we also had to rescue a cat from a tree, so I guess that sorta balances it out'

She snorted and scrunched her nose. 'Was that a pun?'

A pause. Then, 'what if I said yes?'

'Then I'd say it wasn't PAWrrible.'

'I'm sorry, did you just become the woman of my dreams'

She knew it was a joke. She could even imagine the tone of voice he'd deadpan this with. And yet, she blushed, her heart singing.

'good night then' she typed back before she did anything stupid.

Hiccup laid on his bed, Toothless on his chest, his leg propped on his pillow, shielding his wide grin from the darkness with the crook of his arm and only rasped out over his blush, "Good one."

#IJAS #Itsjustaspark #TiliaofAnkh #HTTYD #httyd2 #hiccstrid #toothless #modernAU #httydau #fanfiction #writing #mine

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butterflies-dragons · 4 years

Note

oh j0nryas know about balticon report, they just think he was being coy (asdjkahs same delusion with s/ns/ns), that he was rambling bc he was trying not to give spoilers. at this point he could go on live and say "no dumbasses there is no j0nrya, there won't be, there never was" (same w pedoships) and they will all be like "omg it is definitely happening in twow, look at how he's trying to divert our attentions, we are onto you george hehehe"

OK let’s review, again, chronologically, all the times that GRRM was being coy and trying to divert his readers’ attention regarding the ships you mentioned:

The “It could be very different things to each of those involved” Alternative: “Mind you!”

JUNE 24, 1999 THE HOUND AND SANSA

Moreta12: I understand, I’ve heard your opinion on that. In ACOK, it seems that the relationship between the Hound and Sansa had romantic undertones. Is that true?

GeoRR: Well, read the book and decide for yourself.

Moreta12: I’ve read the book and I’ve debated those particular scenes with a few others. Half say that it’s romantic and half say it’s platonic. I’ve taken the romantic stance.

GeoRR: It could be very different things to each of those involved, mind you

Moreta12:Yes, but it seem like evidence points towards romantic undertones. Will the Hound appear later?

GeoRR: Yes, the Hound will be in STORM OF SWORDS. In fact, I just finished writing a big scene with him.

[Source]

The “Why are you asking me about Sansa’s sexuality?” Alternative 1: “Are you really asking me when your fave male adult character can fuck a girl, 15 years younger than him, without guilt?” Alternative 2: “Why are you so gross?”

OCTOBER 05, 1999 AGE OF SEXUAL RELATIONS IN WESTEROS

The nature of the relationship between Sandor and Sansa has been a hot topic on Revanshe's board. Sansa's youth has been one focus of the discussion. What is the general Westerosi view as to romantic or sexual relationships involving a girl of Sansa's age and level of physical maturity?

A boy is Westeros is considered to be a "man grown" at sixteen years. The same is true for girls. Sixteen is the age of legal majority, as twenty-one is for us. However, for girls, the first flowering is also very significant... and in older traditions, a girl who has flowered is a woman, fit for both wedding and bedding. A girl who has flowered, but not yet attained her sixteenth name day, is in a somewhat ambigious position: part child, part woman. A "maid," in other words. Fertile but innocent, beloved of the singers. In the "general Westerosi view," well, girls may well be wed before their first flowerings, for political reasons, but it would considered perverse to bed them. And such early weddings, even without sex, remain rare. Generally weddings are postponed until the bride has passed from girlhood to maidenhood. Maidens may be wedded and bedded... however, even there, many husbands will wait until the bride is fifteen or sixteen before sleeping with them. Very young mothers tend to have significantly higher rates of death in childbirth, which the maesters will have noted. As in the real Middle Ages, highborn girls tend to flower significantly earlier than those of lower birth. Probably a matter of nutrition. As a result, they also tend to marry earlier, and to bear children earlier. There are plenty of exceptions.

[Source]

The “Unreliable narrator - Part 1” Alternative: “The much more important lapse in memory that was promised”

JUNE 26, 2001 SF, TARGARYENS, VALYRIA, SANSA, MARTELLS, AND MORE

[GRRM is asked about Sansa misremembering the name of Joffrey’s sword.]

The Lion’s Paw / Lion’s Tooth business, on the other hand, is intentional. A small touch of the unreliable narrator. I was trying to establish that the memories of my viewpoint characters are not infallible. Sansa is simply remembering it wrong. A very minor thing (you are the only one to catch it to date), but it was meant to set the stage for a much more important lapse in memory. You will see, in A STORM OF SWORDS and later volumes, that Sansa remembers the Hound kissing her the night he came to her bedroom… but if you look at the scene, he never does. That will eventually mean something, but just now it’s a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.

[Source]

The “Unreliable narrator - Part 2” Alternative: “It doesn’t mean what you think it means”

OCTOBER 05, 2002 SANSA’S MEMORY

[Note: This mail has been edited for brevity.]

Well, not every inconsistency is a mistake, actually. Some are quite intentional. File this one under “unreliable narrator” and feel free to ponder its meaning

[Source]

The “Unreliable narrator - Part 3” Alternative: “Better ask yourself about Sansa’s psychological state”

NOVEMBER 27, 2007 GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

[Source]

The “The answer is No” Alternative: NO!

APRIL 15, 2008 FUTURE MEETINGS, POVS, ARYA’S ROLE, EASTERN LANDS, AND ASSASSINS

[Will Sandor and Sansa meet?]

Why, the Hound is dead, and Sansa may be dead as well. There’s only Alayne Stone.

[Source]

The “He’s a lot more dangerous than he is romantic” Alternative: “BUT THERE IS SAM!”

AUG. 21ST, 2009 AS SER JORAH MORMONT… - NOT A BLOG

weltraummuell: The Hound And I know from discussions on other board other women feel just the same about Sandor. He’s an absolute favourite with the ladies!

halfbloodmalfoy: The Hound LOL, you’re such a man. To many of us women, dangerous *is* attractive.

GRRM: The Hound But no one has any love for poor old Sam Tarly, kind and smart and decent and devoted…

[Source]

The “That’s interesting...” Alternative: “They are deeply troubled individuals, Harriet”

22 JUNE 2012 SWORD & LASER VIDEO PODCAST

Veronica Belmont: I’m a big fan of the Hound, myself, actually.

Tom Merritt: Of Sandor? Really?

Tom Merritt: The TV show has sort of played with that a little, and probably stoked those fires.

GRRM: Oh, sure. And I’ve played with it in the books. There’s something there, but it’s still interesting to see how many people have responded to it.

[Source]

The “I guess I don’t understand women” Alternative: “I'm shook”

JUNE 23, 2015 GRRM Q&A AT THE SCIENCE FICTION BOOKSTORE IN STOCKHOLM

[Source]

The “Comfort level of femininity” Alternative: “That's not a reference for romance”

MAY 29, 2016 BALTICON REPORT

My con friend asked about the Jon/Arya relationship again and brought her (impressive) Game book that had all of her references marked out with little flags. She brought up the Ygritte connections to Arya that Jon saw in her. George did not directly answer yes or no if there would be anything romantic between the two.

George did say, despite what readers see as clues to a romantic relationship between Jon/Arya in the books themselves, he did not confirm this so easily but inferred that what Jon saw in Ygritte was a comfort level of femininity. <<< She and I obviously discussed these comments after the meeting and this was the general feeling.

My con friend was referring to George explaining Jon’s perception: GRRM replied, “You know, I don’t think it’s a reference for that [for romance]. It’s a reference to a certain physical type, and a certain indication of what Jon finds admirable. It’s like someone who reminds you of, you know… Other people might be put off by this, you know, hair that looks like small rodents have been living in there. It doesn’t put him off because he is used to that.”

The “I was making up shit.” Alternative: "I wish I can delete that"

MAY 29, 2016 BALTICON REPORT

After the Coffee Talk just outside the room:

My Con Friend asked about Arya and Jon again. This time GRRM gave some very pointed replies:

GRRM finished (in the hallway now) by saying that he “wished some past things weren’t such strong foreshadowing,” and that he, “wished some new things had stronger foreshadowing then.”

Friend: Ok, if you foreshadowed something in the first book, like, really cleverly hidden, would you then follow through on that hint? For sure?..

GRRM: “Well, this goes with what I said before, the story changes and expands as I write. I wish I was able to go back and make revised drafts, but that’s not going to happen.”

Here is a transcript of the outline discussion and Jon/Arya portion of the coffee talk:

[question about Jon/Arya]

GRRM: “Alright, you’ve thought about this more than I have. I mean it’s simple, Jon is very fond of Arya. They were the two odd birds in the Stark family nest, here. They didn’t quite fit in with the others, they look like each other, they both had the brown hair, you know, as opposed to the auburn hair of Sansa and Bran and Rickon and Robb. So there was always that closeness between them. And, you know, Arya didn’t mind that Jon was a bastard, and Jon didn’t mind that Arya was a tomboy, so there is that closeness there.”

[question about Jon comparing his lover to his sister]

GRRM: “If he did it, uhm… I began writing these books in 1991, and, uhm, I worked on it in 91 and then I got a tv play, so I put it aside to really work on ‘Doorways’ tv pilot and did a tv show in 92-93. In 94 I returned to it [the books] and worked on it. You know, up till then, in my career as a writer, I’d always written the entire book before I opted for sale. That’s unusual. Most writers do chapters and an outline. They write a few chapters, they outline the rest of the book, give that to the publisher and the publisher says ‘oh okay, I’ll take that’.

“As some of you may have noticed, those who have been paying very, very carefully attention, I’m not good with deadlines. And, uh, and I’m not good with outlines, either. I always hated outlines. So with Fevre Dream and with Armageddon Rag and with Dying of the Light and all my novels, I wrote the entire book. I didn’t do chapters and outline. I sat down, I wrote a whole book, and I sent it to my agent and said ‘Look, here’s a whole book, and it’s finished’. That way I ran into no deadline, it was finished before it even went on the market. And it worked well for me. And my initial thought was to do this the same way, but what happened, you know, was in 1994, uhm, when I returned to it and I’m working on it and I’m very enthused about it and I say ‘I really wanna write these Game of Thrones books as the next part’. But I was still in Hollywood and I’d just lost all this groundwork on ‘Doorways’, I was still in… The studios and networks still wanna work with me, so I’m getting other offers, like ‘We want you to write this movie’, ‘we want you to do another tv pilot’. And, you know, I took a couple of them and was ‘Oh god, I gotta have to put the book away again’. Cause I have no deadline [for the book]. You know, when you think Hollywood, they will give you a deadline, you know, they say ‘here, son, write this movie, we want it in three months’.

“So, I said ‘look, if I wanna get back to being a novelist, I’m gonna have to sell this even though it’s not finished’. So I had my 200 pages of Game of Thrones at that point, but they wanted outline. I said ‘I don’t do outlines. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, I figure it out as I go. And that’s how I always did it.’ No, we had to have an outline. So I wrote two pages, a two-page thing about what I thought would happen. It’ll be a trilogy, it’ll be three books, Game of Thrones, the Dance with Dragons, and Winds of Winter. Those were the three window titles. And, uh, it’ll be three books and this’ll happen, and this’ll happen, and this’ll happen. And I was making up shit.

“And I had thought that those two pages were long forgotten, because, of course, the books did sell. They sold in the United States and in Great Britain, both. They sold for enough money that I didn’t have to take any more Hollywood games. So I was able to say ‘no’ around. I had a few less [?] to wind up in in 94 and 95. Once I had, I said ‘no, I don’t want any more movies or tv shows, I’m going to write these books now’. And I started writing the books. And in the process, I pretty much disregarded the outline. The characters took me off in entirely different directions. So, for 20 years I had forgotten that that two-page thing even existed. And then someone in my British publisher, HarperCollins, they got a new office building, uh, brand new offices, and new conference rooms, big conference rooms that they decorated with books and stuff like that. And they named the conference rooms after the writers, so one of the conference rooms [?], and they put up these plastic display cases, including the outline. The two-page outline, yes. [?], they didn’t ask my permission, they just put it up. And in that two-page outline, Jon and Arya become a romantic item.”

“You know, I don’t think it’s a reference for that [for romance]. It’s a reference to a certain physical type, and a certain indication of what Jon finds admirable. It’s like someone who reminds you of, you know… Other people might be put off by this, you know, hair that looks like small rodents have been living in there. It doesn’t put him off because he is used to that.””

[someone says they have 5 minutes left]

“You know, I was pretty pissed that that outline got out there. It should not have happened. Outlines and letters like that are meant only for the eyes of the editor. They shouldn’t go on public display. And, uh, they also [?] my papers on [?], all my papers and correspondence. You know, I’ve been sending that stuff there for years, and it’d be, you know, available for future scholars or whatever, just like the papers of many other writers. Somehow, in the back of my head I was like ‘yeah, 20 years after I’m dead some scholar will go in and find them’. They’re going in right now!” ”

[question if he is still going with the 1991 ending]

“Yes, I mean, I did partly joke when I said I don’t know where I was going. I know the broad strokes, and I’ve known the broad strokes since 1991. I know who’s going to be on the Iron Throne. I know who’s gonna win some of the battles, I know the major characters, who’s gonna die and how they’re gonna die, and who’s gonna get married and all that. The major characters. Of course along the way I made up a lot of minor characters, you know, I, uhm…Did I know in 1991 how Bronn, what was gonna happen to Bronn? No, I didn’t even know there’d be a guy named Bronn. I was inventing him along the way when I was writing, ‘Okay, he gets kidnapped. Let’s see, there are a couple sellswords there, their names are Fred and Bronn’.

“It was actually Bronn and Chiggen, and then one of them dies, I flipped a coin ‘okay, who dies? Chiggen dies, cause his name is stupid. Bronn is a better name, so I’ll keep Bronn’. And then Bronn became quite an interesting character and plenty of these characters take on minds of their own. They push to the front till you [?] speech and you think of a cool line and you give it to Bronn because he’s trying to talk, and now Bronn is somebody who says something cool. [?]. That’s how characters grow on you. “So a lot of the minor characters I’m still discovering along the way. But the mains-”

[question if he knows Arya’s and Jon’s fates]

“Tyrion, Arya, Jon, Sansa, you know, all of the Stark kids, and the major Lannisters, yeah.”

This report appears in the following sources:

fattest leech of ice and fire blog [Source 1]

asoiaf.westeros.org [Source 2]

westeros.org [Source 3]

The “Unreliable narrator - Part 4” Alternative: “I think I had enough...”

DECEMBER 2016 ASKING GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ABOUT SAN/SAN

The night of the Blackwater, yes. Ahhh... Well, I'm not going to give you a straight answer on that hahaha... Uhmmm, but I would say that ahhh... you know a television show and a book each has its own strengths and weaknesses; there a re tools that are available to me as a novelist, that are not available to people doing a television show. And of course there are tools available to them, that are not available to a novelist, I mean they can lay in a soundtrack, they can do special effects, they can do amazing things that I can't do, I just have words on paper. What can I do, well I can use things like the internal narrative, I can take you inside of territories... thoughts, which you can't do in a TV show... Ahhh... You just have the words they speak, you see them from outside because the camera is external, while prose is internal, and I have the device known as "unreliable narrator"... Ahhh... Which again, they don't have. So, think about those two aspects when you consider that night of the Blackwater.

[Source]

Most of these questions make me think of Nabokov having to clarified, regarding Lolita, that he didn’t write a romance..........

So there’s that, everyone can draw their own conclusions. God knows that in this fandom: “We look up at the same stars, and see such different things.”

Thanks for your message.

#anon ask #grrm #jon and arya #sansa deserves better #the things i have to read...#poor george #poor nabokov

69 notes · View notes

sarah-blue-eyes · 3 years

Text

2020 In Review

Hoo boy, here we go.

[Ok just before I begin. I had this queued to post in the first month of January but it doesn’t seem like that ever happened haha. Better late than never I suppose!]

So I am a nostalgic bitch, and since 2011, have loved to make memory boxes for each year, where I put trinkets and memories into a shoebox. This year I have continued that tradition, but I have also kept track of my happy memories throughout 2020 in my planner. This was done with the intention for me to upload a year-in-review sort of thing in hopes that maybe like, 3 people max on this god-forsaken site will read it. This sort of reminiscence was inspired by my friend @a-lbeit, who has done these for a few years now and me, as a slut for nostalgia, was encouraged to do the same back in January (I think? What even is my memory at this point?)

2020, as it has been for many, was a very shit year, and I am no different. I would safely say that this year has undeniably been the worst I have lived through. But I am here. I am present. And I have made it through some of the darkest times to face 2021 with a new sense of hopefulness. Keeping track of my happier memories has been something that has truly got me through this clusterfuck of a year, so I am glad that I can finally go through them all again and share them with you.

Read it, or don’t, I don’t give a shit what you do with your time, but if you do, I hope that you aren’t bored to tears. And I hope to keep myself accountable to continue to do this for years to come.

Buckle up, grab a hot drink and a snack and get comfy, because this is a JOURNEY.

January:

· Kicked the new year off with hosting a 1920’s themed party with some of my closest friends at my family home at the beach. Had fun with drunk SingStar, playing What Do You Meme, creating a playlist with everyone’s top 3 songs of the decade (it was a bangin’ playlist I must say), and just overall drinking too much and having a riotous time

· I remember going to the beach New Year’s Day (as is tradition in Australia) and playing ultimate frisbee in the shallows and completing a crossword puzzle on the sand (I am a 75-year-old woman, it is just a fact of life)

· I also had my friend Kirsten from South Australia stay with me for the New Year’s period and it was lovely to have a guest over! I haven’t spoken to her much this year, she sort of fell off the face of the planet, but I hope she is doing ok.

· Went town to Torquay (a beach town in Victoria) for the 6th time for Beach Mission, which is essentially a holiday program for kids in preschool-year 9 where we run activities for them. It’s a Christian-based program but the aim isn’t to convert the kids or anything like that, it’s more to show God’s love to them through our actions and how we as Christians live our lives. It’s also a convenient way for parents to dish their kids off for a few hours too haha. This was my final year of being a part of this program, and I am so pleased to have made so many memories and (hopefully) impacted many children’s lives during my time there

· I remember going on a late-night beach walk with my boyfriend Josh, talking about what the year had in store for us. We were just sitting on the beach, as you do, and I saw a shooting star. I can’t remember what I wished for (if anything) but in that moment, life was a dream.

· The week after beach mission I started at my new internship! It was for a place called KidsCo, who run school holiday programs at workplaces, so parents don’t need to take time off work to look after them. I helped with client relations and a lot of behind-the scenes stuff. I really loved it there

· On the very first day of my internship I remember there was torrential rain, and the train home was delayed by like, an hour or so lol

· One of the best parts about interning at KidsCo was that they were the official child-minding service for the Australian Open. I make an effort to go each year, but I was lucky enough to get free ground-entry for me and a guest for the duration of the event. I went quite a few times and got to take my mum and Josh along as well.

· Saw my only concert of the year, The Veronicas, at the Australian Open. When I say the moment the violin riff at the start of Untouched absolutely went the fuck off is an understatement. Grade 5 me would have cried (and 23 year old me did a little bit too tbh.) Yet another of one of my “all-time-favourite-songs” that I’ve had the pleasure of hearing live. (I also went through the year feeling sad that this was the first time in 11 years I hadn’t gone to a concert, but this one certainly fell through the cracks)

· Started planning my trip to the UK to see my twin sister, and best friend, Jess

· Went away to Rye for the Australia Day weekend #changethedate. An excellent time with excellent mates, and went to the beach pretty much every day and got mindlessly sloshed every night

· Listened to the Triple J Hottest 100. I think 4 of my picks made it in, which was pretty good

· Continued my job as the office manager/events coordinator at my church

February:

Basketball started back after the summer break for my two different teams, The Vikings and The Wildcats (honestly such a highlight of this year with how the rest of it ended up going)

As a team-bonding activity at KidsCo we hired a boat for a few hours and I got more drunk that I had been for a while. It was a very fun time jetting down the Yarra, waving drunkedly at the people jogging by

For Valentine’s day Josh and I had an indoor picnic with our favourite food! The weather was shit for Feb, hence the indoor nature of the picnic

Saw Shrek the Musical with two of my closest pals, Bec and Katie (I honestly forgot that this happened in 2020 hahaha) but it was ICONIC

Had a Jackbox night with The Boys

Had my cousin Amy from England over for dinner! I hadn’t seen her in 5 or 6 years, so it was so lovely to connect again like no time had passed at all

Went to Healesville Sanctuary, a lovely conservation park which focuses on preserving and educating its visitors about Australian animals, with Amy

Went to mini-golf for a friend’s birthday on the leap day. He technically celebrated his 6th birthday which was excellent

Saw Cody Ko and Noel Miller live with Bec and Katie

Finished working at the church office to make room for the potential job opportunity at KidsCo

March:

Ahhh March, you shitstorm of a month. This is where everything started going downhill.

The first thing of note that happened this month was me injuring my ankle at basketball, which had me out of action for a few weeks. It was especially bad because I was nearing the end of my internship and was hoping to do my best work so that I would be chosen to stay on as an employee, but had to take a week or so off to rest my ankle. My ankle would continue to be tender and sore for most of the rest of the year

Went away for the Labour Day long weekend with the family

Finished up my internship at KidsCo. Honestly was lead to believe that I would be staying on as an employee and felt sort of betrayed after all the work I did for them, but whatever

Had a party at Bec’s house to listen to Triple J’s Hottest 100 of the Decade. One of my favourite songs was number 1 which was a pleasant surprise

Went down to the holiday house for a few days just to have so me time and sort myself out

Animal Crossing New Horizons came out haha. Honestly was one of the highlights of this year though. I stayed up until midnight so I could download it as soon as it was available because that’s the sort of person I am

Mum’s birthday dinner with Dani, one of my best friends, and her girlfriend Amy

Went for a hike at Sugarloaf Reservoir with Josh and got spooked by a mob of kangaroos

April:

My mental health started really taking a downward spiral this month for multiple reasons which I won’t get into here, but this is more a note to my past self to say that it will all be ok I guess? Idk I just felt like this needed to be here

Did my ankle badly again on Good Friday

Watched the Overwatch League live with my friends and just memed in the livechat lmao

WARNING - this is a bit TMI but I am going to share anyway since it was a big part of this year, and if you are reading this you are either a stranger or a good friend so I really don’t care lmao: This month I also started to get bad pains in my uterus, like, not period pains but deep, stabbing pains. This continued on for the next few weeks without me doing anything about it, except for increasingly getting stressed about it, although I will talk a bit more about this later.

Josh and I celebrated our 6th year together which was ~wholesome~

Called my friend Ashley from the US and just caught up. It was nice to see her face again. She is a good egg. I haven’t talked to her since but I really hope she’s ok.

May:

Watched Star Wars with Josh and his family for “May the 4th”

Started a volunteer job at Kivuli, a non-for-prophet that is based in Kenya, and started helping out with their website and social media stuff

Zoom movie time with my friends, we watched How To Train Your Dragon I think? Athough everyone was talking over the movie so I didn’t really get anything out of it

Played Scattergories (one of my favourite games) with Bec and Jess on zoom and just wrote really stupid and funny answers and I remember this being just what I needed

Went for a long walk with mum and one of her friends and her daughter on a track we don’t usually go on, which was a nice change of scenery

Went down to the holiday house for the first time in forever since restrictions were eased, at least for a little while lol, with the fam

Went to Portsea for a walk along the beach with Bec and her husband Trevor

Did an online trivia night that night with a big bunch of friends

Had a doctor’s appointment to see what was goin’ on down there. Honestly freaked that it could be something REALLY bad. Got booked in to have an ultrasound the next week, so at least I’d be finding out what was wrong soon.

The day after I got my results was the 21st of May, the day my mum and I were meant to be flying out to the UK to see my sister and her boyfriend. It was already hard enough a month or so before when I had to cancel my flight, but this day was so SO difficult. I can’t remember the last time I cried so hard. I am so blessed to have a boyfriend like Josh though. He was by my side the whole day, and held me as I cried. Oh man I am crying as I write this now, it was such a hard time but I know I will see my sister again.

And then the day after THAT whole ordeal was my birthday, which was meant to be spent in London with Jess but it turned out to be the first birthday we’ve had apart. This day was also hard, but made better by being with loved ones and having dinner at my grandma and grandpa’s house. Grandma’s roast potatoes make everything better.

Went to Geelong to see the other side of my family, it was so good to see my nan again. I love her very much.

Went to the Briars with Bec and went on a lovely nature walk and saw a lot of little wallabies and even an emu

Had an ultrasound and my pain turned out to be a 10cm wide cyst!!! So fun!!!!! Thank the heavens it wasn’t a child. I was so relieved. It is still in my body so that’s cute tho.

June:

Applied for a bunch of jobs, and even got a few interviews! Still no job.

The absolute highlight of this month, and maybe even the whole year, was going away to Lake’s Entrance and Yarram with mum, dad and Josh. It was so good to go to the country, I love country towns so much and the wildlife and nature is so beautiful in the eastern part of Victoria. If you ever get the opportunity I recommend going there!

We ate so much nice food and just relaxed. It wasn’t a perfect replacement for not going to Europe, but it was something at least.

Did more work for Kivuli which kept me busy

Went to Bec’s house to bake a cake. She came out to me as bi this day too, and the cake was coloured like the bisexual flag!

Started a short course through the university I went to in Facebook for Business. It was a great way to build up my skills.

Played Animal Crossing with Dani’s little sister, Tami, a very wholesome time

Looked after Josh’s dog Jed while his family went away for the weekend (also went into the start of July) and was honestly the greatest time

July:

Halfway through the year. Thank fuck.

Had another job interview

Went on lots of walks

Was just generally cold

Did a lot of cleaning

Painted the downstairs rooms at church, which took a few days and a lot of back pain, but it’s cool to think that I was able to contribute my energy and time to something while I was not feeling good at all

The restrictions were tightened again, meaning that I couldn’t go further than 5kms away from my house, except to see Josh, so this was a really lonely time for me.

Really got into Masterchef with mum this season. They had all returning contestants from other seasons so that was really fun to watch.

Got and assembled a new couch upstairs that I can say I actually own myself. I absolutely love it.

More walks, despite the cold

This was a very uneventful month, but that’s ok!

August:

Had a call with the hospital I’ll be having my cyst surgery with. It was good to know that things would be started. I had to have a blood test and a second ultrasound then put on the waiting list for surgery. Still no sign on when that will be happening though 6 months later. Just so lucky to live in Australia where all of these appointments are free.

Went for a really nice long walk with Josh. Got shat on by a bird.

Did lots of stuff around the house, just tidying and watering the plants and sorting through my wardrobe to purge all the clothes I grew out of

Had an online Switch games night with some friends which was fun. We played Smash Bros. and Mario Kart and just had a great time!

Ok this sounds super lame but my favourite podcast, The Jenna & Julien Podcast, finished forever which came as a surprise and was just really sad. I really hope it comes back one day.

Did my tax return lmao

Baked rice puff/marshmallow bar things

Made an ASOS order to fill my happiness with material things. Did get some cute clothes and lingerie tho 😉

More games with Bec and Jess, we played Golf With Your Friends this time

Had a cocktail night with Josh, where we just made a bunch of fun cocktails and got drunk. I can’t wait to live with him so we can do this all the time.

Lots of Kivuli work, as we are planning for our 10th anniversary fundraising event

September:

Baked cookies, which was something I did a lot at the start of lockdown but sort of drifted away from. I absolutely love to bake.

Started working for Media-Wize, a small PR company that was started by someone I know at church.

Started playing Among Us at the start of the month

So many Among Us nights omg, just call me queen impostor please

Did my induction for Media-Wize

Got n e r v o u s because I kept getting things wrong in my new job. I always seem to fuck up the good things and opportunities that I get

Did a livestream reading of The Great Gatsby on my friend’s Twitch stream. It was really fun and something I had never done before. I voiced Tom Buchannan, which was interesting but cool to sort of get into the character. I hope to do something like this soon.

I burnt my hair while cooking dinner and had to give myself a haircut lmao. It was the first time since 2018 that I had cut it so it was a long time coming anyway.

So much Media-Wize work. It felt good to finally be getting paid to do a job

Got locked out of my bathroom so I had to climb up the laundry chute to unlock it from the inside, all because a fly outsmarted me (it’s a long story… and honestly best told by speaking it)

October:

Had the Kivuli 10th anniversary livestream. Lots of work went into it and it was so much fun! It’s incredible that a non-for-profit that has benefitted so many children and families is still going strong. Such a blessing to see.

Dad’s birthday, and we had a picnic with grandma and grandpa and saw them for the first time since lockdown was somewhat lifted

Walked to Beasley’s nursery with Josh and got a coffee. This was the first proper, not McCafe coffee I had had in months and it was SO good

Played Animal Crossing with Dani

More Among Us, a theme for the last few months of 2020

Watched the AFL Grand Final. Wasn’t super exciting this year tbh, especially since we couldn’t have a BBQ or party or anything, but hopefully next year will be different

Nearly moved out of home with a friend of a friend, but since I didn’t have a job, didn’t think it would be a wise decision. Would’ve been nice though

Did some more Media-Wize work. I haven’t been given anything to do since this time though, so I don’t know what’s going on with that? They really be ghosting me tho.

Applied for JobSeeker so I would at least be getting a little income

New Jackbox came out, and had a games night with The Boys playing all the new games

Voted in the local election

Went to Westerfold’s Park with Josh for a lovely long walk

Played lots of The Sims 4 (but tbh I have been doing this all year)

November:

This month things sort of started to turn around, as Covid wasn’t hitting my state hardly at all, so I was actually able to see family and friends again!

Went to my old primary school with Dani and played basketball and just shot around and talked. She also came over for dinner. It was so nice, and she is a true friend.

Had a picnic at the park at the top of the street with my dad’s side of the family, all together at last

Melbourne Cup Day, not that I really care but it’s nice to get a day off. Went on a day trip to the Dandenong mountain range. It was so, so nice and bought some lovely little things from local shops, went for a bushwalk and had a bakery lunch

Went to the park to throw the frisbee and kick the footy around with Josh and his friends, although they are my friends too tbh

Had a picnic with a group of friends that I hadn’t seen since January, so it was so, so good to catch up with them and have a delicious BBQ dinner

My favourite online comedy group, Aunty Donna’s Netflix series came out! Had a virtual watch party with a few friends and binge watched it all in one go

Had lunch with grandma. This used to be a weekly occurrence but for obvious reasons was put off for this year. I absolutely adore her and every lunch we spend together is so precious to me

Went to Kyneton with some of the family as another day trip

Christmas shopping time again. So weird to be at the shops and feel sort of normal? I went 4 different times in the span of a week and a half haha

Josh’s birthday! We went to this maze place with has a bunch of big mazes and other fun activities. It was such a perfect day. Then we had dinner with his family.

Got a letter from the IRS saying that I needed to provide them with proof of identity, so that was fun trying to sort that out. We love the outdated US tax system <3

Went to a bridal shower for my friend Katie

Went for another hike with Josh to the mountains

Drove down to Geelong for a friend’s wedding and stayed at my nan’s house

Had a pub dinner and Jackbox night while down in Geelong with The Boys

A good friend of mine was leaving to live in Japan for two years, so I went to her house one last time to say goodbye and chill in her pool and just hang out

God why is it so hard to get a job?

December:

Omg we have made it to December. It truly is a miracle with how this year went tbh. And if you have read this far, thank you but also, how little of a life do you have?

Went to my friend Katie’s wedding. Sort of surreal to go to a wedding during a pandemic but it was fun and I got to see a lot of friends I hadn’t seen in a while

Enjoyed the hot weather and went to the beach a number of times with a variety of friends

Went Christmas shopping, and just shopping in general since it was safe to and shops had finally opened again

Got a job at a talent agency where you get gigs as a paid extra in TV shows and movies, which was pretty cool! I even had a professional photoshoot to get headshots done, something that I had never done before. Glad that I could get some pictures to use on LinkedIn though haha. Still haven’t been cast in anything but here’s hoping.

Had dinner and drinks with Josh, Bec and Trev in the city for the first time since it reopened. God I love Melbourne so much. It is just so magical on balmy summer nights. This was such a special evening, and was so good just to be in the city again

Had a lovely day with Dani, starting with breakfast and then going on a hike before the weather got too hot. We went to Sherbrooke Forest, a place I hadn’t been before, and it was incredibly beautiful

Had a number of job interviews this month too, none of which got back to me which was annoying :/

Now it was heading into the time where every weekend is packed with Christmas do’s so I’ll just collate them in this point. Lots of drinks were consumed and many delicious roast dinners

Had our annual Christmas Carol’s service at church. It was a blessing to be back in the building for the first time since March, and to be able to do something I love (singing) with some of my best friends was the best

Christmas eve I went to my grandma and grandpa’s house (on dad’s side) to help them set up for Christmas lunch. Spending time together just the three of us is so special, and I am so glad I was able to come over and just chat and be in their loving presence. Then that night I went to our 11pm church service to bring in Christmas day. It was a great service and was great to see our kick-ass minister give a sermon face-to-face.

Ok here we go, Christmas was a doozy, let’s go. So Christmas lunch was, as I said, with my dad’s side of the family, which is always a great time. Cracking open crackers and fighting over who’ll get the bottle opener or nail clippers is always a highlight haha. But we had the fucking best roast potatoes I swear. I need to know what my grandma puts into them because I could genuinely eat 20 of them and still have space. Then the rest of the afternoon was spent in a food coma until I went to Josh’s house to spend dinner with his family. Another delicious meal and great banter was what I needed, although I can safely say that I put on at least 5 additional kilos after that day.

The next day the fam and I headed to Geelong to see my mum’s side of the family. Was a great drive down and I listened to all of The Avalanches new album which had just released. Easily the greatest album of the yeah hands-down. So we spent lunch there and absolutely stuffed ourselves with more food. Three Christmas meals really took a toll on me, but I am just blessed as it is to have a loving family and food on the table.

The next day dad, Josh and I headed to the beach to spend that weird time between Christmas and New Year’s. To get there we took the ferry that goes from Queenscliff to Portsea, which is always a fun time, since we don’t often go from one side of the bay to the other (if you don’t know the geography of Victoria I apologise lmao). Mum didn’t come with us as she had some symptoms of Covid, so went home to isolate and get tested. Thankfully she tested negative and she joined us the next day.

Once I got back home I had to prepare the house for my friend Jono who was visiting for new years from SA. Many last-minute chores and cleaning was done haha.

New Years Eve! Went to pick up Jono and my other friend Sarah from the airport and dropped Sarah off at her accommodation and ended up staying there with Jono for a while as this was where the New Year’s party was going to be. Although, in true Victorian fashion, our premier announced that there was going to be a limit of 15 visitors at any house from 5pm that night. Excellent. We love a last-minute change of plans. So we had lunch and spent the afternoon at my friend’s house before heading to a local park to chuck the frisbee and kick the footy around. We also had our second annual NYE trivia competition, which my team lost by 1 point!! Dang I get so competitive, but we will win next year, I can feel it. The new year came through uneventfully, we were in the middle of a game of Scattergories or something like that when someone changed the channel on the TV to see the Sydney fireworks across the screen and like, 4 second left of the countdown. I gave Josh a bog ol’ smooch and gave my friends a big hug. We had done it. 2020 was defeated.

Conclusion (damn this really be an essay tho)

This year was undeniably the hardest year I had ever been through. Going through unemployment for the majority of the year and having no sense of purpose hit me hard but I am entering 2021 with the hope and willingness to get on track with my career. And I think I will be successful. A lot of truly awful things happened around the world this year as well, with the devastating bushfires at the start of the year, the powerful BLM protests, Coronavirus absolutely destroying lives and many, many other global events but through it all, here we are. I hope you all keep well this year and that your 2021 is infinitely better than your 2020.

Song of the Year: Tangerine – Glass Animals

Album of the Year: We Will Always Love You – The Avalanches (I CANNOT stress this enough, but you absolutely must listen to this album!)

TV Show of the Year: The Mandalorian - Season 2

Movie of the Year: Bombshell (the only movie I saw at the cinemas so didn’t have much to go with)

Memory of the Year: Going away with my family and just enjoying time away with each other

Thank you for reading this, if you’ve made it this far, you’re a real one <3

#me #2020 #2020inreview #nostalgia #anactualnovel #iapologise

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bringbackwendellvaughn · 3 years

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Some Light Christmas Fun

i saw a bunch of my posts had been flagged as inappropriate by tumblr and appealed all of them so they now can show up. even the one about my obsession with psylocke. one i couldn’t appeal though (because it was a reblog) was a reply trying to identify all the characters depicted in The Raft as candidates for the Thunderbolts in Thunderbolts #155.

So now I am going to repeat some of what I said, add some more thoughts and try and identify them all.

This is actually one of my favourite past-times working out what stock background space fillers could reasonably be established characters. Let’s be honest, most of these were probably not meant to be anyone and were just people Kev Walker drew to fill up a room. But, within the story itself, they all have to be established super-villains who would be considered as applicants for the Thunderbolts. For identifying these, there are a few things to refer to here - the characters who are ultimately chosen to join the team are probably there, the next issue identifies some of these people who don’t make the cut, there was a poll featuring a vote for who you wanted to join the team (Shocker won, i voted for Madame Masque), some of the characters appear in other issues of Thunderbolts, some star in a preview story in Enter the Heroic Age and then in Heroic Age: Villains, Steve Rogers proposes several inmates of the Raft as potential future recruits for the Thunderbolts - some shown here.

1. Bison (Billy Kitson) or Man-Bull (William Taurens) Bison is a Thunderstrike enemy who later showed up on Crimson Cowl’s Masters of Evil in Kurt Busiek’s run on Thunderbolts. What we can see here is that it is an orange furred man, but the face cannot be seen. I am inclined to say that this would be Bison since Steve Rogers recommended him as a potential addition to the Thunderbolts in Heroic Age: Villains. This would be slightly off-model for him and it seems we should see his horns poking out here, but Bison is confirmed as being at The Raft and has that reason for being there. Alternatively it might be Man-Bull who is later shown to be at the Raft in some issues of Hercules. Then there is also Griffin (John Horton) who was a poll choice but like Bison’s horns, we should be able to see his wings, so I am definitively removing him as a possibility here..

2. Shocker (Herman Schultz) Shocker joins the team next issue and is depicted with this hair. I’d lock him in as a definite.

3. ? We don’t have much to go on here besides a sort of faux-hawk hairdo. I’ve ran down the list of who could be there and turned up squat. Maybe in prison, Badd Axe grew a mohawk style. Badd Axe was another of the characters Steve Rogers proposed as a possible team candidate. Blizzard is confirmed as being there next issue - maybe he shaved his head like this to try and look more tough in prison.

4. Bloodshed (Wyndell Dickinson) Bloodshed is a Spider-Man baddie and another member of Crimson Cowl’s Masters of Evil (there’s a lot of them here). He’s apparently grown a goatee but I’d be confident to lock him in as another definite here. He was another of Steve’s candidates from Heroic Age: Villains.

5. Grizzly (Max Markham) I am a bit obsessed with shoving Grizzly into the background of this run. It’s not without precedent, he is depicted in Enter The Heroic Age as being at the Raft, Steve Rogers nominates him as a team member and before this run he was a full-fledged member of the team. This character design mostly suits being Grizzly, he’s the right size and has his soul-patch. The one thing stopping me from saying it’s definitely him is he appears to have some form of faceplate on him. Maybe this was an inking or colouring error? Maybe - just maybe - it is bandages from when Ant-Man climbed into his ear and beat up his ear-drums in Thunderbolts #143. That’s really reaching, especially considering Grizzly had appeared since without his ears being wrapped, but I really want to say this is Grizzly.

6. ? This character receives a fair amount of dialogue bullying pre-transformation Mr. Hyde in the next issue. Possibly trying to deflect their own lack of power by bullying Mr. Hyde when he thinks that Mr. Hyde is a weak timid guy worse off than him. We have a very generic black-haired guy who would bully a weakling, so who could it be?

7. Mr. Hyde (Calvin Zabo) This is kind of how he is depicted next issue when he is in his non-Mr. Hyde form. A small man with black hair cropped at the sides. He is also shown in front of 6 in a line and is bullied by him for looking weak and nerdy. Here he is shown stood in front of 6 again, so this would make sense as being Mr. Hyde.

8. Amazon (Katrina van Horn) or Titania (Mary MacPherran) I want to say this is Amazon, formerly Man-Killer, as she is an ex-Thunderbolt who despite only being on the team briefly always kept showing up in the book. She was again recommended as a possible Thunderbolt in Heroic Age: Villains and while her hair has grown a bit longer here, this would make sense as being her. I’d still hazard a bit to say lock this one in though because, alternatively, it could just as easily be Titania who is seen as an inmate in Thunderbolts #144.

9. ? This one has been bugging me for a while. I so know this character. Has black vertical lines on the eyes, right? Or it might be Armadillo (Antonio Rodriguez) which someone seems to have identified as being in this issue on terrible website ComicVine (I think they just confused 11 with Armadillo though). He’d be a good choice to be here though.

10. ? There is a few characters this could be. Next issue depicts a character with a hairless head with a less human face which might have been the intention here but it’s in the back so never required this detail. If we’re going with that one, the guess would be Headlok (Murray Singleton). At the other end, if you want to say he’s wearing a mask and again it’s the result of lack of detailed, Scarecrow (Ebeneezer Laughton) - next issue shows his mask as being biege. He was a poll choice and actually receives dialogue next issue.

11. Blood Brother The survivor of the two Blood Brothers, we saw this character in Enter The Heroic Age and in Thunderbolts #156 he is identified and given dialogue. He is depicted speaking to 6 and Mr. Hyde (7) next issue. There’s no area of debate this isn’t Blood Brother.

12. ? Short guy with long hair. This seems like it could be an easy one but I’m coming up empty. Dare I suggest this could be Grizzly again?

13. ? A tall woman with nice black hair. Possibly Titania again. Otherwise, the best I can think of is that Moonstone acknowledges Black Mamba as being there next issue. It’s maybe a bit too built for her but it’s also the one that looks the most like Black Mamba.

14. ? I’m pulling this one out of nowhere but this could be Asp. The hair matches and she is Black Mamba’s bff, so it’d make sense they’d be near each other.

15. Powderkeg (Frank Skorina) Powderkeg is a real Z-list villain fodder guy. He is confirmed as being a Raft inmate in Avengers Academy #4 (a light crossover issue with Thunderbolts) and I want to say this is definitely him even if it requires a little bit more footwork.

16. Super-Skrull (Kl’rt) Confirmed next issue.

17. Skeleton Ki (Alisher Sham) One of Steve Rogers’ picks and this one is wearing a skeleton face mask so it seems quite evident it is him. Lock in Skeleton Ki as number 17.

18. ? This character is also depicted next issue, stood behind Blood Brother and 6 during the Mr. Hyde bullying scene. Based on that, it’s clear he is a male with long hair.

19. ? Absolutely no idea. Woman with corn-rows.

20. Dark Beast (Hank McCoy) AOA-verse evil version of Beast. Jeff Parker originally wanted this character to join the team but was blocked by the X-offices. Centurius filled his role instead. Dark Beast is shown on the cover to #156, was also one of the poll choices and him being drawn a bit poorly here might have been a last-minute alteration to try and change it to NOT be Dark Beast. This is definitely meant to be Dark Beast though.

21. Poundcakes (Marian Pouncy) Poundcakes is shown as a inmate of the Raft in Thunderbolts #159. The body type is a match and the hair is consistent with how she is shown in #159. Lock her in.

22. Boomerang (Fred Myers) He joins the team next issue. This is another case where this is obviously the character. 100% definite here.

23. Ox (Roland Bloch) Member of the Enforcers (and briefly the Thunderbolts Army). This is how Ox was drawn in Enter The Heroic Age. The colour of his hair has slightly changed but put him in the definite machine.

24. Mandrill (Jerome Beechman) This is Mandrill. Easy.

25. Troll (Gunna Sijurvald) She joins the team. This is undebatably her.

26. Bushwacker (Carl Burbank) Bushwacker is a former Daredevil and Punisher foil. This is definitely him. He was depicted exactly like this in Enter the Heroic Age. Definitely lock him in.

Here’s the bit in issue #156 which features some roll-call with not necessarily the character models depicted.

Of those I can’t identify the first one (Blizzard because she mentions him? Really, any number of other bad guys listed below can fit this design), the next one is either 6 or 7, then up-front in that mask is Scarecrow (confirmed next 2 panels). Next that would b Bloodshed/4, and then possibly a miscoloured Ana Kravinoff, and finally Headlok and Super-Skrull.

Extra notes: - Centurius (Noah Black) is not depicted but joins the team. - Blizzard (Donnie Gill) is confirmed as being there in this room as seen above but I don’t see any character that could really really be him. - Scarecrow (Ebeneezer Laughton) is as well but he’s been speculated all over the place. - Black Mamba (Tanya Sealy) likewise. - The leftover Steve Rogers’ suggestions from Heroic Age: Villains are Absorbing Man (Carl Creel), Answer (Aaron Nicholson), Badd Axe, Hydro-Man (Morris Bench), Lady Stilt-Man (Callie Ryan), Mad Dog (Buzz Baxter), Redeemer (Shep Gunderson), Ruby Thursday (Thursday Rubinstein) and Vector (Simon Utrecht). Some of them like Ruby Thursday are clearly not there. - He also recommended the Young Masters but none of them were ever even arrested. - The cover to issue #156 also features Abomination (Emil Blonsky), Absorbing Man, Batroc (Georges Batroc), Ana Kravinoff and Sandman (William Baker/Flint Marko) - none of these appear to be there and Abomination had been dead for a few years by that point. - I can’t find the poll itself, I can find a link to it but it just redirects to Marvel.com, and other than the winner (Shocker) and who I voted for (Madame Masque), the other choices are sourced from a forum post. Absorbing Man, Batroc, Brother(s?) Grimm, Dark Beast, Doctor Demonicus (Douglas Birely), Griffin, Ana Kravinoff, Living Laser (Arthur Parks), Madame Masque (Whitney Frost), Mr. Hyde, Sandman, Scarecrow, Shocker and Other. Noticeably nearly all the ones on the cover to #156 were listed. Other allowed you to write-in a choice but they shouldn’t really count towards this. Of these ones, Absorbing Man, Doctor Demonicus (deformed face with horns), possibly Griffin, Ana Kravinoff, Living Laser (stuck in energy form), Madame Masque and Sandman are obviously not there. - Some other confirmed Raft inmates at this time from other Thunderbolts issues include Axe (Jerome Hamilton), Corruptor (Jackson Day), Mr. Fear (Alan Fagan), Mo Money, Purple Man (Zebediah Kilgrave) and Titania. #159 gives us 3 previously unseen characters: Big Roy (a Walrus monster man), Man-Mountain Mario (Man-Mountain Marko’s cousin) and Indali (a normal looking woman who is the Queen B of the women’s wing of the prison). In other books we see Basilisk (Basil Elks), Blackout (of the Lilin), Crossfire (William Cross), Griffin, Hecate, Man-Bull, Vermin (Edward Whelan) and probably much much more but those are the ones that come straight to mind from Avengers Academy #4, Hawkeye and Mockingbird and a Hercules story. - While Crossbones (Brock Rumlow), Hyperion, Nuke (Frank Simpson) and Norman Osborn are all being held at The Raft, they are not eligible for the team.

Feel free to contribute or ignore this.

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wri0thesley · 4 years

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dfnjvngfb please be nice to me about this because it’s VERY self-indulgent and also very explicitly self-insert and not reader-insert, but . . . i wrote some nat/prosciutto inspired by an ask i saw about being a dance teacher. and i thought; hmm. i’ve always wanted to learn how to swing dance for that 50s repro life, and i bet prosciutto would be up for that--

is this a meet cute

[brief a/n: nat is a 23 year old opera student at a fancy italian conservatory. they left a while before studying bc opera singer’s voices mature and also christ the price, they had to save up. imagine this dress. prosciutto swing dances because he likes it and also he picks up older women with rich husbands and money to burn who’ll spoil him a bit, heaven knows la squadra doesn’t pay him enough. he’s amassed quite a bit of wealth just by being older women’s - and sometimes men’s - sugar baby, but he likes the dancing enough to carry on doing it. usignolo means songbird/nightingale]

You linger outside the studio’s building for a minute, trying to gather up the courage to go inside. Sure, this had seemed like a good idea last week when you’d seen a flyer on your conservatoire’s notice board, and considered how your International Studies Coordinator had suggested getting more involved in the local community. You’re pretty sure she’d intended for you to try bars, socialising with other people your age . . . but. Well. You’ve never really been one for loud clubs or thumping music.

So you’d taken a phone number and booked a place in the class and tried to ignore the pounding of anxiety in your throat every time you thought about actually making a social commitment in a country you’ve barely been in for a month.

You bite your lip, wondering if you’re going to be overdressed. Sure, you’re used to being overdressed - being in a full face of makeup and neat heels and stockings in an eight-in-the-morning Music Theory class when your classmates look like the walking dead after a night enjoying Naples’ nightlife, but those are people who you see every day. Making a good impression on people you hope to be social with . . . that’s a totally different can of worms.

Some people have hurried past you in full ballet garb; neat chignons, elegant lines, holding their canvas dance bags and shooting you curious glances. You’re not built to be a ballet dancer, you suppose; but then again, that’s not why you’re here. You check the time again. You’re five minutes early.

Okay. Good impression. You’re not going to walk into the room ten minutes late. Maybe if you get in there early, you can seem like you belong. Ignoring the pounding in your stomach and the fact your nerves are begging you to turn back and forget this whole idea, you push into the building and make your way to the dance studio number you were told to come to. Your heels clack on the wooden floor - you’d done as much research as you could before coming here (always terrified of being out of step, or just doing things wrong), but you can’t shake the nagging anxiety that perhaps you’re going to be the sore thumb.

God, you hope you’re not a sore thumb in all the worst reasons, peeking into one of the windows of the other studios and seeing a line of willowy androgynous ballet dancers, stretching elegant limbs up to the ceiling and pointing toes of well-muscled lithe legs. You tug at your dress, nervous again of your curves and your general being.

You push open the door to Studio Number Seven.

. . . Well.

Perhaps you shouldn’t have worried about being overdressed. The other people in here wearing dresses are wearing nice floral prints and swing skirts and neat cardigans. Your own black dress seems a little somber in comparison (cheered up by one of your collection of 1950s embroidered brooches), but that’s not the thing you notice.

The thing you notice is the silver hair, the glasses perched on noses, the crow’s feet and the indulgent smiles when they see you.

You are certainly not going to be befriending peers, that’s for sure.

The instructor herself only has about a decade on you, and you’re almost relieved to see that she’s wearing a cherry-printed dress with faux Bettie Page bangs. That’s more like your kind of people. She bounces up to you, neat and enthusiastic.

“You’re Nat, right?” She asks, smiling, and you find yourself smiling back. “I know you said you were a student, but I was still expecting someone . . .” She gestures vaguely at the room around her, and you can’t help but let some of the tension drain out of your shoulders.

“Yeah,” you say, “I’m not sure what I was expecting.”

She laughs.

“Well,” she says, “it’s a dying art, swing dancing! We should be glad that there are young people wanting to take it up. Do you have any experience at all? You’re certainly dressed the part!” She winks at you. “I love seeing the outfits, honestly - one of my favourite parts of teaching for sure!”

You shake your head.

“Not in swing dance,” you say. “A little in ballet and tap, but I guess that’s . . . not a transferable skill, huh?” She claps your shoulder.

“It means you’ve got some rhythm in you,” she says. “Now, let me see -- ah! I have the perfect partner for you. He’ll give you a hand whilst you’re finding your feet--”

She turns on her heel and disappears into the crowd of students, and that’s when you see him for the first time. He’s taller than the rest of the elderly bowed students, stoop-shouldered - standing above them with a quantity of slicked back blond hair and cheekbones you could cut diamonds with, sharply tailored suit cut to show off a muscled chest. He sees you looking at him and he turns his gaze on you, blue eyes icy, sweeping across your form in a way that makes you avert your eyes and try not to be swallowed up by the studio floor. You see, from the corner of your eye, the smirk . . . and then you see the instructor come over to him, tug gently on his arm and speak softly under her breath.

You’re flustered as the instructor brings the handsome blond over to you, flush rising to your cheeks - seeing your reaction to him, the man shoots you a charming smile, revealing the slightest overbite and a gap in his teeth, and oh . . . that’s unfair. He inclines his head, a half bow, holding out one hand for you to take as the instructor nods.

“This is Armando,” she says to you. “I think he’ll be a wonderful partner, he’s been coming here for months and he’s such a good teacher, I should be paying him some of my salary!”

“Just because you’re such a good teacher, I’m sure,” the blond man says. He turns to you as the instructor shoots you a wink and moves away to go towards the front of the room. His eyes on you make you burn warm. You resist the urge to chew on your lip, looking up at him through lowered lashes.

“Did she . . .” You nod towards the instructor, “partner us together because you’re closer in age to me than everyone else?”

The man hums, a small smile on his handsome face, as you hesitantly take his hand. His fingers are soft and warm but self-assured as he moves closer, other hand landing on the curve of your waist. His aftershave smells woodsy and smoky and it’s all you can do to not breathe it in deeply.

“Perhaps,” he remarks, voice soft and deep. “I am only sixty five.”

“You must have an amazing skincare routine.”

He smirks.

“I do.”

The instructor claps her hands together at the front of the class and you both turn, but his hand doesn’t let go of yours and his grip on your waist doesn’t falter. From the corner of your eye, you see looks from the other women in the class that are obviously jealousy. You try to ignore it; it’s unusual, for you to be the one people are jealous of. It’s almost . . . nice.

Still. You’re trying to make friends, so you don’t gloat in it.

The instructor talks, moving across the room, gently correcting some people’s holds, talking animatedly. She pauses by you and Armando, but she nods and smiles instead of touching you. As you and he begin to move, slowly, he leans in closer.

“You know . . . my name,” he says (there’s a lingering impression that something about this statement makes him uncomfortable; it’s strange to hear him sound unsure when every inch of him oozes confidence and surety). “But I don’t know yours. What brings you to our jolly class?”

“Nat,” you say, “just . . . just Nat.” He tips his head, leaving the conversation open, his eyes utterly focused on you in a way that you’ve never really felt. He seems genuinely invested. “I’m an opera singer. A student, I mean. At . . . at the conservatorio?”

“Ah,” he says, smiling. “A nightingale.”

You blush, and the hand on your waist tightens imperceptibly at the way your eyes flicker away from him in embarrassment at the sweet name.

“And the swing dance?” He asks, one eyebrow raised. “I mean . . . I’m not complaining, but as you can see . . .” He inclines his head at the other students.

“I just . . . like the fifties. You know . . . elegant dresses, petticoats, the music . . . I’m not romanticising it or anything, but I just like that idealised idea of it, you know? A-anyway! What about you? Y-you don’t look like the type--”

“Touche,” he says, smiling softly, but he doesn’t say anything beyond that.

You and he spend the rest of the lesson partnered together. He’s elegant, quick, smiling at you when you catch his eye amongst a whirl of petticoats and a breathless swell of the music. You know that you’re a little clumsy on your feet (you can’t help that! Not with a man like this so close to you, leaning down to murmur close to your face, holding onto your waist so firmly as if he doesn’t want to let you go).

He murmurs things about some of the other students as he whirls you around, that make you laugh and widen your eyes and insist ‘no!’. Every time he gets a rise out of you, a response of flushed cheeks and giggles and demurely turned down eyes, he seems to get a little more intense on how he’s handling you.

You’re in a mess of a beating heart and short breath and pink cheeks by the time that the instructor calls time on the day’s class, and you feel like you’ve had a successful time. Sure, you didn’t mingle with anybody else but . . . Armando, but you’ve had a good time. You feel confident and excited at the prospect of next week’s lesson. Pulling away from him and straightening yourself out a little, you offer him an apologetic smile.

“Sorry if I wasn’t very good,” you say. “I’m . . . I’m not the most graceful.” You gesture down to the curves of your body, that often feel so ungainly and as if they’re taking up more space than you deserve to. “I guess you’ll go back to another partner next week, but thank you for helping--”

He quirks his lips, one eyebrow raised.

“I don’t have to.” He says. “I’m perfectly content to partner you, you know. You were . . . Well.” He laughs, a little soft noise that you can tell from the look in his eyes isn’t intended to be at all mocking. “You were a pleasure to dance with, if we were off-beat plenty of the time.” He pauses. “And . . . if you want, I’d be more than happy to go over some things with you before next week’s session,” he says, his words easy, and your heart skips a beat. You’d worried that maybe he’d be annoyed by being paired off with someone who’s got no idea what they’re doing, by someone who looks like you when a man like that probably spends most of his time surrounded by people just as beautiful--

“Really?” You ask, blinking up at him. “I don’t want to be an imposition.”

His laugh is light again, his fingers gently dancing up your arm, a touch that’s intended - you’re sure - to be comforting, but that sends a frisson of electricity all through you.

“Oh, you won’t be. As long as you’re willing to indulge me with dinner first, bella.”

You know that your blood rushes to your face even beneath the powder and the makeup, and you know, too, that there’s no way he misses it. A smirk pulls at the corner of his full mouth, and you question whether you actually fell over and hit your head at some point and are now hallucinating.

“Perhaps afterwards,” you tell him. “I don’t know if I could dance on a full stomach.”

He laughs, the noise low and smooth. You can feel jealous eyes on your back - and can you blame them? Look at him.

“I didn’t say it would be dancing, did I?”

“I--” Your brain moves lightning fast, trying to get your brain to respond to him in kind, but he doesn’t give you time to think of something witty. The hand on your arm moves, dancing across your collarbone, brushing the vintage brooch, resting briefly on the full warmth of your cheek, tipping your face up to him.

“Verpazza, Wednesday night, 9PM,” he says to you. You recognise the name of one of the more upscale restaurants you pass on your way to classes from your shitty rented room in the boarding house for international students, and you fight to stop your eyes widening. Your poor student budget certainly wouldn’t allow for such luxuries. “Ask for Prosciutto’s table if you’re there before me. I’ll take care of it.”

There’s something in his smile that suggests to you he loves the idea of taking care of things; that he’s getting a real thrill out of playing the knight in shining armour. Well. You’ve heard plenty of tell about Italian men (and plenty of horror stories from other people in your class) - but he seems . . . indulgent. Like he loves the idea of providing for someone.

“Like the ham?” You ask him, and a flicker of amusement passes over his face. “Is that your surname?”

A flash of something else in his eyes. You can’t quite name it - but you don’t fail to notice his eyes flicker, as if checking nobody else is listening. He tries to keep his voice easy.

“Mm. An unfortunate family name, and a name that’s stuck.” He winks at you. “You’ll never hear anybody outside of this room call me . . . Armando.” The name sounds wrong on his tongue, the slightest grimace following the syllables. Blue eyes turning icy, just for a moment. He pulls himself back, smiling at you again. “You can call me Prosh, if you want.”

“You don’t seem the nickname type.” He laughs.

“Mm. Well. . . I’d prefer to hear the full thing, but if it’s your voice, usignolo--”

You recognise the nickname and flush, warm. The smile he gives you is crooked and makes your toes curl in your heels, your entire body feel warm, your head feel light. Okay, you might not have made friendly connections . . . but you’ve certainly made some kind of connection.

“Wednesday?” You ask him, again, wanting to really feel sure. You’ve been . . . stood up, plenty of times. Used as a joke. Your shoulders draw in imperceptibly, but Prosciutto - you try and reconcile calling him after the meat - tilts his head to the side.

“Your phone,” he says, holding out a hand. “Let me put my number in, and you can call it for proof. I’m perfectly serious, cara. I’m a man of my word.” He looks at you softly, hand on your waist, and gently helps guide you out of the studio. Most of the other dancers have left by now, and you can see the instructor glancing towards you and clearly waiting for you two to leave too so she can prepare for her next class. Pausing in the corridor, he looks down at you, face perfectly serious. “I don’t know who’s had the nerve to hurt you in the past . . . but I’m not that kind of person.”

You bite your lip, and he shifts closer to you. He’s not incredibly tall, but you’re small enough that the height difference feels pronounced. The hand is soft when he tips your chin up, blue eyes meeting blue eyes. His own are half-lidded, drifting down to your lips (when you’d applied the dark red lipstick marketed as ‘kissproof’ this morning, you hadn’t thought that it was going to be something that was tested!). He leans into you and you find yourself unconsciously rising onto your tiptoes--

The kiss he gives you is almost chaste, save for the slightest nip at your lower lip (you think about the gap between his front teeth and feel like you’re going to melt). Your breath stutters against his, the taste of mint toothpaste and smoke and honey leaving a tingle upon your mouth.

“I’m serious,” he breathes against you, pulling back. “Nine in the evening. Wear something pretty,” his eyes flicker down, caressing the curves of your body in a way that makes you warm all over. “. . . though I don’t doubt you will.”

#nat.txt #self ship postin #writing #this is. self indulgence at its finest.#is this canon? who knows but its Cute Concept #pronat i guess #pronat

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pastelbatfandoms · 3 years

Text

Survey because I’m bored

Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? Well it was our first date,and our first offical meeting. We were walking through the park when he kissed me,I'm assuming because he wanted too lol. Not that I was complaining. I was too shy back then to make the first move,nothing like how I am now.

Do you care what people think? A little. Everyone does.

Are you listening to music? If so, what is it? Nope.

Do you like to take walks? Sometimes

Would you ever date someone out of state? Yes

Plans for tonight? Eating Pizza and chilling at home.

Do you want to go to a party? Not during a pandemic.I'm not really into parties anyway.

Has your birthday past this year? No, it’s on the 27th

Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Yeah.

Will this year be better then last? Hopefully. For us it has been since we've moved.

Can you listen to music while reading a book? I read out loud so no.

Are Monday mornings the hardest mornings to wake up to? Every morning except when I don't have to walk My son to school are hard lol

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? maybe.

Last thing you ate? Chicken and Broccoli rice bowl from Panera Bread.

Who was the last person’s voice you heard? Micheal's.

Who do you get along with best in your family? My twin nieces

How old do you think you’ll be when you get married? I was 23 or 24 idr.

Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yes.

Who were you last on the phone with? The Dentist

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yes.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Yes.

Can you commit to one person and one person only? Yup. Though it's a challenge sometimes since mentally I want to be in a Poly relationship but I've never been in one.

Is there someone who continuously lets you down? Not anymore.

Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? Yes.

Do you miss your past? Some of it.

Are you typically a happy person? Yeah, in general.

Do you miss the way things used to be between you and someone else? Some parts but the majority no.

Who last made you smile? My Son.

Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone a lot a lot? Right now.

Is there a difference between love and being in love? Yeah.

Where is your Mother? At her house.

Have you ever laid on a couch with the opposite sex? Yes.

Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Both seem nice.

If you could change one thing this year about your life, would you? Uh, yeah. The fucking pandemic would be over. <<<This

Did you sleep alone last night? Nope.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? A bit like if they're a full grown alcholic then yes.

Do you like potato chips? Yeah.

Are you ticklish? Yes.

Craziest place you have slept? A Garage

Have you ever been cheated on? I think so. Though I don't have proof.

Can you count on anyone to be there for you, always? Yeah.

Do you think being “heart broken” is as bad as people say? It is. Romantically or not.

I’m guessing you’ve probably been asked this before, but which do you prefer - Coca Cola, or Pepsi? Both

Do you think the last person you texted is a virgin? (You don’t have to tell us who the person is, just say yes or no.) He’s not.

Has your phone ever gone off in the middle of a class at school? I didn't have a phone back then.

In your phone’s contacts, who is the second person listed under the letter ‘R’? I don't have My phone on me. Nor do I know anyone who's name starts with an R,except an Ex but there's no way his number would be in my phone.

What is that person’s favourite drink? No idea.

Has the last person you texted, ever been in your bedroom? We share a bedroom.

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I use in spray/leave in conditioner.

Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Either.

Do you have an item of clothing that reminds you of someone? Tell me about it, and the person it reminds you of. I have a few pieces My Mom gave me,that I just keep for nostalgia reasons.

If the last girl you texted told you that she was pregnant, how would you respond? Um that would be My Mom and I would say it was a joke for one she's single and has not interest in dating anyone,2 she's in her 70's and 3 she has her tubes tied.

How old is the last male you texted? 34..

How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? LMAO already answered this.

Who do you have the most text messages from? My Mom and Michael.

When was the last time you visited the doctor? Last week,I have to go back tomorrow for another blood pressure test.

Do you know anyone who deserves to be slapped? Why? Yes several someones.

When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? Definitely depends.

Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? I think Benton who I dated for 8 months and My first BF Scott but I never talk to them.

Would you have sex with the last person that poked you on Facebook? That’s not a thing anymore and hasn’t been for a long time.

Does more than one person like you? Not that I am aware of.

Who is the youngest person in your household? When is that person’s birthday? My youngest Son. Who's Birthday is March 8.

Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Scott Pattern and no not like that. He wasn't a bad BF though.

Do you like your middle name? I do.

Would you ever visit a psychic? lol don't need to. Only one I think I'd trust in would be Sloan Bella,but she's more of a Medium. She can't read your mind or anything,she mainly communes with spirits and reads peoples energies.

You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? No one in particular. It's usually a Facebook group or My niece Carol maybe My Mom or BFF.

Let’s say I was going to make you something to eat, what would you like? :) I’m not super hungry and I'm pretty picky. I'd say a grilled hot dog with sauerkraut since you can't really mess that up.

And what drink would you like with that? Pepsi

Do you know anyone with the same first name as you? Tell me about him/her.I used to in middle school. We kinda looked alike as well,I remember her being sweet but we didn't really talk much.

If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short? Or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long? I’ve had it really long and really short and I like it in the middle. <<Same. I do want to go get it cut,layered and dyed for My birthday.

Can you remember the last time you felt emotional? What was the reason? tbh it was yesterday watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I watched the episode when Kim was robbed at gun point in Paris and I felt really bad for her. I can't beleive people think she made it up or planned it,people are such jerks.

Do you call your partner ‘baby’? Not really.

What if you were told that your life has to stay exactly as it is right now, and nothing will ever change? How would you feel about that? Um tbh staying stagnant and not going anywhere in life is a fear of mine. so I would not be happy with that,also I would like the pandemic to end.

What is a word that starts with the second to last letter of your name? Cherry

#survey #about me

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meta-squash · 3 years

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Brick Club 1.3.2 “Double Quartet”

According to wikipedia, a double quartet is a musical composition made for eight voices or instruments, or made up of two string quartets, that are often written in a call-and-response style. Also, I’m not quite sure if this is relevant, but wikipedia specifically mentions German composer Louis Spohr in the section on double quartets. Spohr wrote an opera in 1816 called Faust (which was drastically different from Goethe’s plays), to which wikipedia gives this synopsis:

Faust is torn between his love for the young Röschen and his desire for Kunigunde, the fiancée of Count Hugo. He makes a pact with the devil Mefistofeles which allows him to rescue Kunigunde from the clutches of the evil knight Gulf. Faust obtains a love potion from the witch Sycorax which he gives to Kunigunde during her wedding celebrations. Outraged at the sudden passion his bride shows for Faust, Count Hugo challenges him to a duel. Faust kills Hugo and flees. Meanwhile, Faust's first love, Röschen, drowns herself in despair. Mefistofeles seizes Faust and drags him down to Hell.

Again, I don’t know if that is relevant, but I thought it was interesting nonetheless. Especially considering the “lover flees, young woman is ruined” motif. I have no idea if it was popular or even known in France at the time, but it was part of the Romantic movement, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it was part of Hugo’s repertoire.

But it’s interesting that Hugo names this chapter after a call-and-response style of music. This chapter specifically is set up that way: we get information on the women, and then the men. Their affairs later on seem to also line up with this call-and-response, at least until the end of the dinner, when one half of the strings drop away and the other four are left on their own.

I don’t know enough about the different areas of France, so I’m wondering if where the men are from is at all important?

Also, who is the “Oscar” Hugo is comparing the group to?

Hugo establishes the men as “insignificant,” which I think is actually quite significant. To the other grisettes, and probably most other grisettes in their circle, these men are (as Hugo explains) common little flings. So to make someone who is insignificant to most, significant to Fantine is an interesting move. Hugo kind of does this with all his characters, on a larger scale. Aside from Valjean and Enjolras, who are exceptional, most of his other characters seem to be relatively normal people who aren’t necessarily special in a big way. The fact that he decides to focus in on them is what makes them special. And yet here it’s Tholomyes’ insignificance that highlights how unusual Fantine’s attachment to him is.

“...and in their souls that flower of purity which in a woman survives the first fall”. I don’t really know what to make of this line considering how a paragraph later he seems to insinuate that all but Fantine have already “fallen” due to their many affairs. (Which he then softens by blaming society for the women’s problems.)

“Poverty and coquetry are fatal counselors; the one scolds, the other flatters, and the beautiful daughters of the people have both of them whispering in their ears, one on each side. Their ill-guarded souls listen. Thence their fall, and the stones that are cast at them. The are overwhelmed with the splendor of all that is immaculate and inaccessible. Alas! Was the Jungfrau ever hungry?”

Hugo referencing the fall of man here, although this time it seems like only the women are punished, and not the men. Also, another Faustian reference, this time Marlowe, with the “good angel and bad angel” imagery. More references to life choices and the whole concept of having two potential paths and choosing the “wrong one.” Like with Valjean’s original crime, Hugo seems to criticize this behavior here while simultaneously pointing out the way that society demonizes these women and hurts them. I’d love to know why he uses the German “Jungfrau” here instead of just saying “maiden” or “virgin.”

We get a lot of information on Favourite in this chapter, and not that much on the other girls. She’s the eldest at 23, born out of wedlock, and has her own home. I love that she’s like Jehan--adding an extra letter to her name for the fanciness of it. We basically get an illustration of her as the sort of “leader” of the group, with everyone else looking up to her. She’s then contrasted with Tholomyes, the men’s “leader,” who is also the eldest of his group, I assume. Favourite seems closer to Bahorel’s “laughing mistress” or Musichetta than the other three; aside from her mother barging in on her life and being a nuisance, she seems much more stable than any of the others, financially (she’s been to England!) and emotionally/socially (her friends all look up to her). (I think it’s interesting that she’s not paired with Tholomyes, who seems to be her masculine counterpart?)

Fantine is “wise” while the other women are “philosophical.” Also, Hapgood translates “sage” as “good” instead of wise, for some odd reason. It seems as though Fantine is wise in the same way that Valjean has that divine element of goodness that can be kindled and relit. It’s something that she is not necessarily aware of. I’m also wondering how Hugo defines “wise” vs “philosophical.” I’m guessing that wisdom is closer to intrinsic, instinctual knowledge, while philosophy is more thought out and pondered upon. (Perhaps these definitions are based on a popular philosophy at the time? If so I have no idea which one.)

In any case, part of what makes Fantine wise is her capacity to passionately and loyally love. Which I think is an interesting move, to praise someone’s social (and possibly emotional) naivete as wise, only for her to be completely ruined because of the person she’s devoted to. Her capacity to love is also the vulnerability that manipulative men see as a good opportunity to latch on to and use her.

This “wisdom” thing is also a weird call considering Fantine’s utter lack of pretense. The other three grisette’s go by fake names, have had a number of affairs and seem more playful than thoughtful when it comes to the affairs with this group of men. Fantine is just...Fantine, and she’s the youngest, and she hasn’t had the experience the other girls have had, and she’s about to make a huge mistake (rather, by this time she already has, and Cosette is an infant). Presumably the other three women learned somehow that their affairs were just affairs, why didn’t they clue Fantine in on this game? Later on we see Favourite thinking that Fantine is “putting on airs;” but she’s also the only one tu’d instead of vous’d and they all know she’s the baby. Are the other three just wrapped up in their own stuff and too preoccupied to think that maybe Fantine doesn’t realize this isn’t a real, permanent thing? Or is this a situation of three older girls being latched onto by a younger one who doesn’t really know what to do, and aren’t really a fan of the burden of being teacher? She’s been in Paris at least 4 years and yet she’s never had friends like these grisettes? I don’t exactly know the social mores of back then, but I assume that having friends then was similar to having friends now: gossip and talk about relationships and flings and one night stands. Interesting that she either never really learned by inference that this might be that, or that perhaps she just blindly assumes that this isn’t like that because this is real.

And here we get Fantine’s backstory, and her symbolism as the Universal Grisette. So many of Hugo’s characters that are blatant “universal” symbols are either orphans or abandoned quite early in life. And so many we get a certain period of their life, then a jump, then more. What happened between infant-Fantine being found and her working on a farm? Hugo does this time-jump with Valjean and the Thenardiers, and Marius, too. I think Fantine’s about 19 when we’re first introduced to her, if my math is correct? Hugo also foreshadows the sale of her teeth and hair here.

“Fantine was beautiful and remained pure as long as she could.” An interesting callback to a few paragraphs ago. Hugo seems to imply that the other girls gave in to those “whispers” quite quickly, while Fantine did not. Part of her purity, too, is her trust and devotion to Tholomyes; she’s not giving in to promiscuity or shallow affairs like the other three, she is genuinely in love.

The way Hugo uses beauty and ugliness is so interesting. “Beautiful” Fantine paired with “ugly” Tholomyes, as with Enjolras and Grantaire, and even to some extent Cosette and Eponine.

What stands out to me is Tholomyes and Grantaire both specifically being characterized as “doubting” and also described as ugly. Grantaire gets the actual word “ugly” while Tholomyes gets this horrible description (weirdly tempered by the fact of his humor and gaiety). I know that technically Courfeyrac is paralleled with Tholomyes, but I always seem to see more similarities between him and Grantaire. The difference being that Grantaire changes and Tholomyes does not. There also seem to be bits of each of Les Amis in Tholomyes (Grantaire’s doubt and ugliness, Bossuet’s irony, Bahorel’s age, Courfeyrac’s womanizing ways, Joly’s illness, etc) but all from the negative.

Tholomyes is described in a really awful way. That “he had a play refused at Vaudeville” and “doubted everything with an air of superiority” always has me reading him as this MRA type loser who thinks he’s better than everyone else and that that’s why people hate him. He’s charismatic, but in a slimeball sort of way. Hugo tempers Tholomyes’ awfulness with gaiety and then immediately turns around ruins that “but he was funny!” by telling us this awful prank.

Oh, and then Hugo stops to interrupt himself with a question about linguistics regarding the word “irony” and whether it’s based on the English word “iron,” like, the metal. Which...???? I don’t really know what to make of? Is he trying to say something here, because if he is, I don’t get it.

“Saint January” is Januarius, the patron saint of Naples, whose “miracle” is the annual liquefying of the phial of his blood. Apparently people gather to witness this annual miracle three times a year (as well as during things like papal visits). Interesting that Tholomyes compares his rather unpredictable and cruel “surprise” with the predictable, annual miracle of the blood liquefying. It makes me wonder whether this is not the first time he has done this (he is 30, after all, and I assume has had many affairs), just with a different group of friends.

We are just as in the dark about the surprise as the women are. Hugo does the same thing here that he often does with Valjean’s thoughts. He remains an outsider to the thoughts of any of the characters in the scene, and remains in a specific location within the scene, so when the characters leave, any following dialogue or action or thought is obscured from him as a narrator.

#les miserables #les miserables meta #brickclub #lm 1.3.2 #les mis #les mis meta #i started writing this at 2am instead of 4am! progress!#except then i went to sleep and finished it at 2:30pm the next day

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Lemon's Misadventures in Dating, Chapter 3 (Lemon x Everyone) - Mermelada

A/N Hi everyone, I’ve been sitting on this chapter for a wee while but couldn’t quite get it right, so I hope this will do! Lots of love to you all!

As soon as Lemon had arrived home after her date with Kyne – at 9 o’clock the following morning – she flopped onto her bed and checked her phone. She opened the app to be greeted with a number of new messages.

[08:48] Hope you got home safe baby, please try not to fall in love with me now xx

The first one she read, from Kyne, made her chuckle, she’d actually had a really, REALLY good time last night. It turned out that there was actually a very easy way to get the girl to stop talking. Kyne had every reason to be cocky, and Lemon hadn’t been made to feel so good for a very long time. She had even managed to go a couple of hours without thinking of her. Speaking of her, they still hadn’t matched, which was definitely for the best, as Lemon didn’t think she could stand the inescapable mutual awkwardness if they did. But then did that mean that Juice had swiped left on her? Deciding to stop the mental tennis before it got out of hand, she pulled up the bottom message on her list, from yesterday.

[16:04] Bonjour hi, Miss Lemon! Tu parles français? Or am I needing to practice my English? :-)

Rita. From her profile, she looked every bit the no-shit-taking dom top with a major mommy’s little girl kink, but her message was kind of sweet. The fact she had even bothered to check what language Lemon spoke was cute, she supposed, but she crossed her fingers that Rita had an edge and wasn’t all politeness and niceties. Now that Lemon had had her first taste of Tinder hook-ups, she was ready to dive in with no fear. Well maybe just a tiny bit of fear. She quickly typed out a reply, partly assisted by the internet, and sent it off.

[09:09] I’m assuming you don’t count ‘voulez-vous coucher avec moi’ as proper French 😉

Is it completely cliché and unoriginal? Yes. Has Rita probably already received hundreds of messages saying the same thing? Yes. But I’m tired and still feeling fucked out, so it’ll do. If she likes me, she’ll bite. Hopefully for real, soon…

Following on, she finally had a reply from Kiara.

[19:20] Hi girlie! I am SO sorry for replying so late, I have been working all day and all night this week ☹️ but seeing your profile made me feel better 🙂 how are you??

Double-checking quickly in case she’d missed something important, she realised that the girl’s profile didn’t say what she did as a job, so that seemed like a good place to start.

[09:13] Don’t worry at all, hon! But I’m glad I can help 😉 I’m doing okay thanks, and u? What do you do for work? x

Is a kiss on the end too forward or too friendly, she pondered, trying to remember if she’d done the same for Rita and Kyne before her. It’s done now, I’ll soon find out, I guess!

[23:56] You’re named after the wrong fruit, because you’re definitely a fineapple

The third message was from Boa, who she must have matched with during the night. She loved it. She wanted it on a cross-stitch, framed above her bed. She’d definitely made the right choice with this girl. Now, how to match her at her own game…

[09:15] You udderly impressed me with that one!

As soon as it had sent, Lemon was hit with a massive wave of self-doubt: what if Boa didn’t get the pun and just thought she was weird? She’d always thought she was quite funny, but what if that was all a lie? There was still time to rectify it.

[09:15] Because of the cow costume, get it?

[09:15] It’s so cute!!!

[09:16] You seem really fun 😀

[09:16] And it helps that your hot

[09:16] You’re^

Shit shit shitting shit, that is way overboard for a reply. What the fuck have I done? Oh dear lord, well Boa, it was nice knowing ya! I don’t blame you for blocking me and running to the hills!

Some more general swiping ensued as Lemon awaited some replies, she started aimlessly swiping again through the single ladies of Ontario.

Scarlett, 29

Within 10 miles

Hmm, she looks like she has a bit of filler in those lips but she still looks hot, I like her tattoos, and HOLY SHIT SHE’S EATING FIRE fuck yeah, okay Scarlett! I’ll take that!

Ilona, 25

Within 10 miles

Okay I love her make-up, I love her style… all her photos are selfies, does that mean she has no friends? Don’t be silly, Lem, my camera roll is full of selfies and I’m just fine. I think. Hey, Ilona!

Starzy, 38

Within 10 miles

Oh wow, she’s hot. Her bio literally says, “Call me mother”. That has to be the hottest thing I have ever read, yes please!

After a few more likes and dislikes, Kiara’s name lit up at the top of her screen. Not wanting to seem too keen, she waited a monumental thirty seconds before checking the message.

[09:22] I work on a movie set, but nothing glamorous, I help with hair and makeup. It pays my rent 🙂 I am pretty tired today but I have a deadline soon so I have to keep writing ☹️ where do you work? x

Just as she was thinking of the best way to word her current, work-less situation, a reply also came in from Rita, which Lemon accidentally clicked on sooner than she meant to, completely blowing her cool façade.

[09:25] I’ve never heard that one before…

Lemon’s heart sank at the thought of her impending rejection, but a new message arrived seconds later.

[09:25] At least look up how to say it less formally, I’m not that old!!!!

Smiling at the thought of Rita not automatically hating her – not outright rejecting her – Lemon started to type a reply, but stopped when a third message appeared.

[09:26] Mais si je dis oui, es-tu vraiment libre ce soir? ;-)

Somehow, the more Lemon stared at the words, the less sense they made. She now severely regretted passing her time in French class admiring Madame Benet’s assortment of leopard-print clothing, rather than actually learning. But there was a winky face at the end, which made her heart race, even without understanding the rest of it. Highlighting the text and taking it straight to Google, she couldn’t help but bite her lip as she got Rita’s point.

[09:30] Wee wee, madame 💛 give me a place and a time xx

As much as she may have been looking forward to a good night’s sleep tonight, she still felt the swarm of butterflies flap around her tummy at the thought of Rita’s hands on her, telling her she was a good girl… Don’t get carried away yet, dummy, save it for tonight! I need a cold shower if I’m going to survive the next few hours. Before jumping into action mode, though, the first thing Lemon needed was a nap.

Rousing awake a few hours later, she padded downstairs to make herself a sandwich and a tea, continuously checking her phone with the hope tha Rita had replied. Met with silence, she then took her time to shower, deep conditioning her golden blonde hair and shaving everywhere she could, so she could at least feel better prepared than she had yesterday. Not that a grown-up adult lady like Rita would mind, of course, but it’s all part of getting in the zone, Lemon hummed to herself as she let the water wash away any anxiety she might have had about tonight.

She already knew what underwear she would wear: her favourite black bra with a light furry trim around the cup, and a lacy black thong. She was so sure that Rita was on the same page about how the night would end, she felt like she didn’t have to worry too much about what went over it, opting for indigo skinny jeans and a beige polo-neck. By the time she had finished her makeup, it was almost 5pm, and she still didn’t know the plan. Sitting up on her bed, contemplating how she would explain to her parents that she was spending the night out again, she once again opened the app, hoping that Rita hadn’t backed down. With still no reply, she couldn’t help the frustration which bubbled inside her, she didn’t spend so long stretching to shave the backs of her thighs for nothing! Even more discouraging was the lack of reply from Kiara… until she looked at the last message sent, and realised that she’d unwittingly left the poor girl on read.

Shit, I thought I’d replied already! That explains it… now how to explain that I’m a dancer who doesn’t dance anymore and has moved back in with my parents with no ambition to find anything else anytime soon?

[16:58] You’re a busy lady! What do you study? 😊

[16:59] I’m a dancer, currently hopping from audition to audition, hoping somebody likes me enough!

The reality was that Lemon hadn’t attended any auditions for over a month. She had tried to throw herself into her work after the break-up, but had soon realised that with a broken heart came an enormous lack of drive. She told the contemporary company she was a member of that she needed a break, and they told her to not bother coming back. So here she was, hoping that one day she’d once again wake up with a flame inside of her. Luckily, Kiara didn’t push her to expand on anything just yet.

[17:04] So a bit like Tinder then! Don’t worry, I’m sure lots of people will like you enough… in dance and Tinder!

[17:05] I study film and theatre, it’s fun 🙂 but a lot of essays to write in English which takes me forever lol

[17:06] That makes me sound like an idiot!! I promise I’m not, just Québéquoise!!

[17:06] Are you from Toronto? 🙂

Well at least if tonight doesn’t go ahead, I’ve still got a French option for the future, she sighed, running her fingers through her hair as she thought of an answer.

[17:08] Haha, I believe you 😉 my dad is from Portugal, but I think there are 2 year olds who speak better Portuguese than I do 🥺

[17:08] That sounds super interesting! Your job on the side must help a bit then?

[17:08] And I am, Toronto gal born and bred! How long have you lived here?

Just as she was about to put her phone down for the evening and fall into another nap, the message she’d been waiting for finally arrived, and Lemon found herself scrambling to read it.

[17:09] Sorry, lovely Lemon, work was kicking my ass all day. Does Mado’s at 8pm work for you? X

Lemon couldn’t resist one final reply, cementing her intentions.

[17:10] Sounds great, I’m sure I can help that ass feel better 😘 see you soon!! 💛💛

A/N It’s me again, your friendly neighbourhood translator!

“Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?” - Do you want to sleep with me tonight?

“Mais si je dis oui, es-tu vraiment libre ce soir?” - But if I say yes, are you really free tonight?

#rpdr fanfiction #drcan #lemon #kyne #kiara #rita baga #scarlett bobo #ilona verley #anastarzia anaquway #lmid #mermelada #submission #can1

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