#she's been forced to be live with delilah for so long that it’s hard for her to step out of neutrality

[nellasbookplanet]

With Marisha mentioning on last 4SD that Laudna went to that dinner with the Briarwoods thinking it might be her in to leave Whitestone and go study/train her magic abilities, I wonder how much this early trauma has impacted how she talks, or rather doesn’t talk, about being a sorcerer.

Because Laudna doesn’t really talk about what it was like growing up as the only sorcerer in town with abilities she didn’t understand, nor does she seek to learn more about them now (but she wants to give Imogen all that she never had, and the first thing they try to do in the campaign is figure out Imogen's magic). She may talk about her death, sometimes almost flippantly, but not about how it feels knowing that it was her magic, that one part of her that made her special, that she wanted to use to get out of her simple life, that made Delilah choose her as her undead puppet, or the inverse in knowing that if it wasn’t for said magic dooming her, she would just be dead-dead, like the rest of the people in that tree.

And I wonder, is part of Laudna scared to explore her own abilities and self? Is it part of her compartmentalization, where doing so would force her to face a part of her own trauma that she’s been trying to ignore? Did dying trying to reach for something Bigger ironically remove the magic from it all, reduce her sorcerer abilities to just another thing that was used take control of her life away from her? Does leaving herself in the dark feel like taking part of that control back?

[mindovermuses]

I find myself at odds with certain aspects of last night's episode of Critical Role (C3:E105). It's probably just my autistic brain getting stuck on things we've been told/have seen in the past standing in pretty much direct opposition to how they're being viewed/handled now, but I think I need to just put it out on the page to figure out exactly what it is that bothers me. Right now it's just vague, half-thoughts eating at the back of my mind.

I'll let my mind wander and ramble after the cut, but the essence of it is that I have a hard time believing that the leaders of the Raven Queen's temple would be so openly defend Laudna the way that they did.

Long, rambling train of thought brain dump ahead...

I have no problem with the character, it's been awesome seeing Marisha delve into this macabre identity. And it's obviously just a game and made sense in the moment to have someone with authority on death speak in defense of her in the meeting, but I question that temple specifically.

Each deity is given only three tenets- three sacred commandments to put upon their followers above all else that are supposed to be considered mandatory as part of their faith.

The Matron of Ravens Commandments are:

1) Death is the natural end of life. Grieve the fallen, but do not pity them. Exult in the time that they were granted. 2) The path of Fate is sacrosanct. Those who pridefully cast off destiny must be punished. 3) Undeath is an atrocity. Death is too good a punishment for those who pervert the rightful transition of the soul. - from the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn

The entire reason why Laudna is still "alive" is because of Delilah's necromancy. If that magic were to be cut off, she would die as it isn't the power of her soul and life force keeping her there.

Delilah's dark magic was granted as a boon in exchange for a pact with Vecna- one of the Matron's sworn enemies. For the power to return her love to her. Delilah is a large part of why Vecna was able to uncover the Matron's rituals to ascend to godhood in order to eternally defy death. He, and Delilah along with him, are an affront to the natural balance of life and death that the world hinges on.

Delilah's spirit still lives upon Exandria and hasn't found it's way to the Matron's halls... because of Laudna choosing to trap her in what we know isn't guaranteed to hold her forever. Any follower could capture Laudna and carve it out to restore her at any time, releasing the threat of everything the Matron despises upon the world. And, at that point, Delilah would no longer need Laudna.

She allowed Vax to return as a revenant only long enough to see that Orcus and Vecna were destroyed and only because he was her champion, working directly on her behalf before willingly leaving everything he loved behind to take up his new role.

Laudna is neither her champion nor even a casual follower, let alone a devoted one, AND she holds within her the spirit of a necromancer who has already proven she is willing to tear the fabric of reality apart to get what she desires.

I could see the Matron turning a blind eye in this moment, given the dire circumstances, but begrudgingly so. When all is said and done, I could see the Matron summoning Laudna into the blood pool and presenting her with a choice:

-Let Delilah's spirit go and cross over into death eternally, willingly, and hope that her friends can succeed at a high DC True Resurrection spell, returning her to the untrained sorceress she was before Delilah took her fate into her own hands...

-or-

-Accept that the Matron's champion will have no choice but to force the soul anchor holding Delilah from her, leaving her to be met with Delilah's fate of death with no hope of resurrection.

Because Delilah's spirit cannot be allowed to return to Exandria and neither Laudna nor Delilah will be leaving that space between worlds where they are currently. She must choose, and choose now...

...and that's when Matt ends the episode, leaving a heart-breaking cliffhanger that no one else in the party is even aware is happening. Laudna's spirit on a plane unreachable by any outside magics.

Just like the Matron could not promise longer lives for the Everlight's children moments after finally being accepted by her as family and, as she could not make exceptions for the love Vax and Keyleth shared when it was his time, she cannot make an exception for Laudna- not with this.

No matter how unfair it was that her life was taken so young for such evil purposes, she's hardly the first and certainly won't be the last to suffer such a fate. No matter that she (hopefully) saved the world- because didn't Vax do the same with no special treatment given to him when the job was done?

The one minuscule loophole that she is able to offer is the hope that someone might think to try and then succeed at a difficult True Resurrection spell, having to pull her soul through the muck and sludge of Delilah's evil- giving her another chance to start over and live the life thread that was stolen from her. Her very own Kingsley type resurrection, minus any memories. Laudna, as everyone knows her, will die with Delilah, but Matilda will get a second chance.

So, what will it be.

Willingly separate Matilda's golden thread from where Laudna and Delilah's threads begin-blackened by a necromantic disease spreading to, and infecting, nearby threads. Is she willing to let go of everything she's gained and experienced after Delilah brought her back as it is impossible to separate the threads binding them? or...

Willingly decide that she's ready to pass eternally through the veil as well, her memories as Laudna in tact if any of her friends or loved ones might find themselves in the same eternal resting place when their times come?

But that's just me. I'll obviously enjoy whatever Matt and the cast give us, this is their story and Matt's world. I just needed to get this all out of my head to process it.

[antlereed]

For the writing ask thing - accursed? If you're still up for it?

this unlocked something in my brain, so enjoy my (mainly) second person delilah thing

send me a number!

It was almost pitiful, how much you didn’t know. That was by design, of course. We picked people from the fringes of town, dirt-smeared children whose entire worlds revolved around their parents and their farms. A little gnomish girl with shabby blonde hair who only knew how to scatter feed for her long-starved chickens, dressed up and fed for the first time on the longest night of her very short life. That poor drunk we saved from the gutter, so close to the real thing I nearly jumped for joy.

We got lucky with you, truly. An older girl, nearly an adult but still childishly naive. You lived close to the Parchwood, which was a boon when I had to slip into the eyes of my wolves. It was a despicable sensation, one you surely relate to now with your little Pate, but I shuddered each time I had to do it.

That first time was when I found you, shivering and frightened in the boughs of one of the Parchwood’s trees. My wolves had found you there, a few circling around the trunk with an engineered, intimidating silence. I tore their vocal chords free when they wouldn’t quit yipping and whining at all hours of the day. It lent itself very nicely to the little stories people told themselves about what happened in those woods. Though it didn’t do much to deter you from their hunting grounds.

“I wanted to make sure they were okay. Wolves are so particular about their howling, you know.” Laudna tried to squirm through a gap between the branches of her cage. She managed to get a hand through before she heard Delilah tut-tut-tutting from the bottom of the tree. Laudna snatched her hand back before the wood all but slammed shut around her wrist, the wood creaking with the force it was under.

You ought to know better than to speak out of turn child. What was I saying? Oh, yes, they caught you in a tree out in the Parchwood. I was going to let them have at you, honestly. You were such a whisp that it wouldn’t have been worth it to bring you back to the castle for dinner that night. But then you did the strangest thing and dropped down to greet them. They were moving on for better prey and then you went and made yourself easier to reach.

It did give me a better look at you, though, and that really was your saving grace. I was hard pressed for a decent doppelganger, and you were close enough to the other child I had found the day prior. So I humored you, let you coo and pet the wolves that had been so dead set on making you a meal only seconds before, I even let one follow you home, made sure you didn’t get found by any other beasts in those woods.

Your parents knew the truth of it, but you were so painfully oblivious to it. I expect your poor mother and father tried to hide you away, to keep you away from any prying eyes. But, well, we both know how that ended up, don’t we.

[tanith-rhea]

That I may be weak with you

"Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you? Everyone loves strength, but do you love me for my weakness? That is the real test." - Alain de Botton Dorothea Delilah Darcy is a woman in her mid to late twenties, struggling to find her place in the world. A recent job opportunity as a guidance counsellor at Nevermore Academy seems like a godsend, and she could not miss it for the life of her. Still, perhaps more problems will arise than she expected. Between bubbly, extroverted students and an uncharacteristically reactive principal, she'll be forced to overcome the limitations of her abilities or separate herself entirely from the place she'll grow to call home.

Author's note: Poor Larissa, not knowing how to deal with Wednesday after all... that. She was such a badass before but now she almost died and how's she supposed to go back to normal with her? If only there was someone to help her get a grip 👀

Chapter Three

“I see her pure, pale aura shine, piercing, sweet Sharp as death, or sin” — Marya Zaturrenska

“We’ve established what I was doing outside, but could I ask the same about you?” you looked at her reflection in the window, hoping to hide your eyes long enough that she wouldn’t mistake your awkwardness for discomfort.

You caught her eyes glancing quickly towards you, catching your white-knuckled fists for a quarter of a second before returning to the road, schooling her expression into something serene if a bit serious.

“I had a meeting with the new mayor. Given everything that’s happened in the last three months I didn’t have much time to schedule the Academy’s yearly events and my relationship with Noble was…” she stopped as they approached the school gate, “Let’s just say he was an intelligent man, and his world view suited my plans well enough.”

Sounds ominous, “And the new mayor’s view?” you chanced. Larissa sighed.

“She’s less inclined to cooperate.”

You were on time for dinner, and it was spent pleasantly talking with some of your colleagues. Ser Barnabas didn't even notice your absence, but after filling his fluffy bum with food he decided to worry a bit about the unmoving lump that was your body over the bed sheets.

“What? The window isn't as comfortable as a living mattress?” you groaned at him settling on your stomach.

He looked wholly unimpressed as if he knew you were grateful for his warm weight on you. Hell, he might feel your spirit purring.

You finally cracked after a few seconds with him looking at you. You knew you were only projecting, but Ser Barnabas was more than accustomed by now to being your excuse to talk to the air.

“There was this student today. Very bright young girl…” he kneaded your ribs a little, “What, too bony for you now?” he didn't seem fazed.

“Anyway; she was lovely, but far too energetic. It's been a while since I talked to other people extensively and she caught me by surprise,” you sighed, feeling the strain of all your muscles at once, “…I think this is going to be hard.”

Ser Barnabas started kneading again, this time purring as well as he came from your stomach to lay on your chest. Sometimes you thought he understood you far better than you gave him credit for.

“Thank you, dear,” you whispered and petted him behind the ears until you fell asleep, which didn't take long with the familiar pressure over your heart.

From: Larissa Weems <lweems@nevermoreacademy.org> To: Dorothea Delilah Darcy <ddarcy@nevermoreacademy.org> Sent: Wed, 13th September 2023 16:00:00 (GMT-4)

Dear Miss Darcy,

As the end of your first week as a guidance counsellor approaches, I’d like to invite you for a chat. Nothing too serious, only a short meeting regarding your impressions, your feelings on your work volume, and any other comments you might have. Feel free to bring notes, suggestions and the like. Nevermore has previously favoured the services of an outside therapist for further counsel, so your role is rather new and I hope to facilitate it as much as possible. I expect you on Friday at 18:10h.

Sincerely, Larissa Weems Principal Nevermore Academy (802) 555-0811

You hadn’t checked your e-mail the last two nights, but as you looked through your inbox now the memory of Larissa driving you both to Nevermore came again, as it had done over and over at dinner.

You realized Larissa wasn’t one to attend dinner when reaching the end of the week you’d failed to see her even once. The staff seemed to have adopted the left corner of the expansive hall for themselves and there were always a few vacant seats; hers persistently amongst them.

You had a theory that she was likely locked in her office buried in work, most likely non-urgent things she simply refused to leave for the next day.

The fact was that Principal Weems was not a cold woman. Of all your interactions she had been nothing but pleasant and even playful with people around you and yourself. But she was also the woman who gave you a lift after school hours back from a very school-related appointment and proceeded to part ways with you at the entrance claiming she had “just a few more documents to sort through before coming to dinner”.

As stated previously, she did not attend dinner.

You didn’t have too many things of note to say, though. You liked everything and everyone so far. Of course, there was the small matter of… the incident, but after a good night’s sleep and some getting used to, you were sure this would only help you understand yourself and your abilities better.

“MEOW!” a tail manifested itself in front of your nose as Ser Barnabas got fed up with being ignored.

“Hush, you’re only jealous I have other things to worry about besides brushing you,” you placed your phone back on the nightstand and searched the drawers for the little imp’s brush. The sun streaming through the window was just perfect to warm a chilly morning; maybe you’d have breakfast outside today.

As your last student left — an adorable little guy whose parents were 10/10 on damage control after trauma — you glanced at the small table clock for the nth time that day. It lazily displayed 17:43. Of course, it wasn’t lazy, it was a clock, but time did seem to be dragging itself onwards today.

You didn’t dare look too deeply into your eagerness to see the principal, but that she had an aura of oddness to her satisfied your mind well enough. It was simply that the air seemed electrically charged wherever she stood; she couldn’t see the hairs of your arms standing but under all the layers you could feel it.

You had almost half an hour to organize your notes and papers. Nothing too profound or insightful, just markers on which students talked about what and how they carried themselves in general. If they were more buoyant or sober, cynical or earnest.

Although everyone went through the terror of a pointed attack, some were closer than others to the whole ordeal, and some had even formed a relationship with their assailant. Of those closest, you had only met Enid and Eugene, but you knew of at least two more who had been into the thick of it. That is when you looked only at the students. The fact that Principal Weems was working barely a month after nearly dying only added to your insatiable workaholic theory.

After a good twenty minutes, everything was neatly filed, and you left the office with your head full. Maybe you should reach out to some students and invite them for a chat. Not everyone seeks comfort on their own, and Wednesday, for instance, didn’t strike you as a person willing to emotionally expose herself.

“Stop meddling in my life,” a cold voice came from the turn of the hall, seeming near the principal’s office. “We are not allies, we weren’t before and nothing has changed. I know there are other rooms and I’m filling out this form,” the voice sounded positively icy by this point, “Don’t try to delay this, it’s my decision.”

When you met eyes with the furious person you weren’t surprised to find Wednesday’s beady black ones. She was leaving Weems’s office, closing the door with a resounding sound. If it was the sheer size of the enormous wooden thing or Wednesday’s strength that produced it, you weren’t sure.

She didn’t say a word, she barely paid attention to you as she stomped past, fuming.

You stood frozen for a second, stunned motionless while processing the end tail of the conversation — or argument — that you had witnessed.

You wished you had worn a watch today, just to check when was appropriate to knock on the door while still being on time. As it was, you didn’t know if it was already 18:10, so you just took a deep breath and braced yourself before softly knocking three times.

After a beat, an even voice said “Come in.”

Weems’s eyes were trained on something on her laptop screen, her expression starkly different from any other you had seen, brutally serious. When she glanced up to find you at the doorstep a shadow crossed her eyes before she schooled her features into something resembling serenity.

You’d have been convinced if you couldn’t feel her heartache from across the room.

“May I-“

“I said come in,” her voice sounded soft, if a bit raw, but quickly normalized as she continued, “I thought I still had a few minutes before you’d appear.”

So you could have waited.

“I wasn’t sure of the time, so I figured it was better to be a bit early than late,” you shrugged sheepishly while making your way to the leather chairs in front of the principal’s desk.

She nodded with a small smile.

“Well, thank you for coming,” she followed your movements as you sat, “I know it seems early for a check-in, but as you’re the first on-site counsellor the school has it’s my priority to make your work as smooth as possible.” She smiled again and leaned her face to the side, looking overwhelmingly kind. It was incredible how her eyes shone in a way that made you believe she wanted nothing more than to be supportive of you.

You choked on air, coughing a bit to recover. What was happening?

“Ecch- hm-” right, very eloquent Dotty, “I mean, sorry…”

Weems’s brow furrowed, “Are you all right?” she sounded unsure and you almost wheezed hiding your face in your hands.

“Yes, I’m perfect, thank you. I just…” you wished for the floor to swallow you, “I’m just a bit emotional, I guess, you know how it is,” you stop hiding, took a deep breath and straightened up to look at her again. Still overwhelming, noted.

“I wouldn’t, but I understand it must be quite something coming from an empath.”

You only nodded, munching on your lower lip.

“I met Eugene today, very lovely child,” you hoped that’d be enough explanation. It seemed to work.

“Ah, yes.” The principal smiled fondly, “He may come across as naïve, but I think he is wiser than we give him credit for. His moms may be the cause of that.”

“Right? Talk about good parenting, those women have it all figured out-” You stopped in your tracks, excitement was the way of crisis, “But we’re not here to talk about that… You said you had questions for me?”

You felt her fondness creeping up your spine and held your breath. Why were you such a mess all of a sudden? Why could you feel her almost seven feet apart?

“It’s all right, I must say I’m glad you met some of the easier ones. Teenagers have a tendency to be a wreak, hell we’ve all been there, but more so after Ms Gates’s… uh- well, the attack.

“Yes…” you hoped your face was closer to sympathy than pity towards the woman. It was very impressive how hers gave away nothing while you felt her restlessness. “So what would you like to know?” you decided to move on.

Weems seemed to agree with your decision, “The first thing I’d like to ask concerns the volume of students you are talking with. I was informed you have already talked to fifteen.”

You nodded matter-of-factly.

“That is a concerning number, I won’t lie.” She closed her laptop, not looking at you for a few seconds while putting it aside, “Do you think you can manage? I’m afraid resources aren’t as abundant this year with a number of parents deciding to forgo their children’s education for a year until the dust settles; so I won’t be able to hire much in the way of assistance.

“Of course, that would be remedied by adjusting your workload.”

You weren’t thinking so much about her question but the caring hum of her words, it was as if her voice adjusted to soothe your worries, and you knew that was possible, you studied it, but it never worked on you before. With her talking like that, you felt like you could handle anything.

You knew you were a people-pleaser, but when you said “I’m sure I’ll manage,” you felt confident.

“Most of them didn’t even reach out because of the last year’s occurrences,” you made yourself comfortable on the chair, “Six or seven wanted to talk about exam anxiety or insecurities relating to their abilities, some danced around the subject they want to broach although I’m fairly sure I know what it is about, and others are just bringing random problems to another person for advice.”

The principal nodded, worrying her upper lip in concentration while she listened.

“And how many came because of Laurel?” the decisiveness with which she said the name gave you pause. Before, she could barely reference her and now she broadcasted protectiveness like a jasmine-filled room.

You inhaled, “One, and I think it was the only one who has it under control.”

She nodded, “Eugene?”

You mimicked her nod. You waited a beat before asking, “How’s Wednesday?”

Larissa Weems had a lot of feelings. You could tell she was near when a foreign sentiment made its way up your limbs, and they never were anything close to uncertain or hesitant. However, when you asked, the cold grip of doubt circled your ankles and made your bones hurt, like the chill of winter on uncovered feet.

“I don’t know what do to with her,” she confessed, “She saw things a young person like her shouldn’t see.” She saw me dead, you could almost hear, it was such a strong emotion you thought it was whispering to you.

“Do you think she’d want to talk to me? Seeing as I wasn’t involved.”

The smallest sniff of hope caught your senses, and you gave her your most sympathetic, understanding smile; the one a bit tight-lipped that made people nod slowly and fight to stop crying because there was someone looking out for them.

“You’re welcome to try. I’d certainly be grateful.” She was telling the truth.

She smiled at you, and you knew you’d do whatever to earn that smile again.

That one took a while, huh? Sorry @alder-saan, hope you like it

[kraekat29]

College Nights

Summary: a sleepless night leads to desire.

Warnings: none other than adorable sex.

They knew it wouldn’t be easy, having twin babies while living in a dorm was a natural recipe for disaster.

They each had a baby on their hip, Ruby bouncing Dallas on her knee while she tried to write her law paper and JJ walking around with Delilah while his business podcast played through his headphones.

Finally it seemed the twins had calmed down and they laid them in their cribs, looking at each other as they both shared a sigh of relief.

He led her to their bedroom, turning on the baby monitor and watching as she grabbed her laptop once more.

She smiled as he sat behind her, leaning back against his chest as he caged her legs in with his, leaving kisses along her jaw.

A content hum escaped her lips as her head tilted naturally, craving the feeling of his lips on her skin- she didn’t realize how much she’d missed his touch.

He smirked against her neck, gently sucking a mark onto her neck, loving the whine she let out just from his lips.

Her eyes flickered to the monitor on the bedside table, holding her breath as she heard one of the twins, letting out a relieved breath as the noises stopped.

She felt him moving behind her and then suddenly he tugged her underwear down, making her let out a quiet laugh as she returned her focus to her laptop.

She whimpered as he forced her down onto him, a smirk playing on his lips as her eyes rolled back from being filled.

He watched as she lent back against him once more, hazel eyes were unfocused as she blinked a few times, just trying to focus on getting this damn paper done before midnight.

But then he started to slowly thrust up into her, watching as her hands shook while she tried to type on her laptop, a quiet moan escaping her lips as he moved.

He gently closed her laptop before moving his hands to her chest, gently massaging her boobs and rubbing his thumb over her nipple piercings.

She whimpered quietly, pushing closer to his hands and moaning as he sped up his thrusts.

One hand moved to her throat, gently squeezing while the other went to her clit, rubbing gentle circles that had her clenching hard around him.

Her eyes rolled back as he moaned in her ear, both of them moving against each other, getting lost in the pleasure.

He moved his hand from her throat, grabbing her hand as she interlocked their fingers, gently squeezing his hand as they sped up their movements.

Their moans filled the room, almost sure the next door neighbors could hear them at this point but neither of them could stop, it’d been so long since they last had each other.

He admired her wedding ring and engagement ring reflecting from the dull lamp, her own eyes flickering to his silver wedding band as she gripped his hand tighter.

She looked up at him and he nodded, both of them desperately moving as he captured her lips in a heated kiss, moaning against each others lips as they came at the same time.

He held her as she shook in his hold, gently kissing the side of her head before allowing her to open her laptop and finish her paper.

That was one way to relieve stress.

[darkdisrepair]

cr meta: laudna, imogen, and rebirth

hello hello here are today's friday topics: SPOILERS OF COURSE

imogen's ritual contribution | laudna and growth | changed group dynamics | our father who art in heaven, [redacted] | and probably some miscellaneous things too

imogen's ritual contribution

first of all i will say that sam's idea to compel laudna back was smart mechanically, if it had worked, but horrible (not a horrible from him, but from fcg) to take away the agency they had just worked so hard to gain for laudna.

i'm glad imogen called him out on that, and gave laudna every choice she could have. i'm glad she didn't try and force her to come back (which, as debated by many critters) could have been very real as well. and very in character.

but no. she leads with this beautiful perspective of love, and purpose gained, and without saying it that is so much worth living for.

but with her low roll- i'm almost positive that laudna would not have heard her. yes, she heard them in the dreamscape. she remembers that. but i don't think she heard everything imogen said in the ritual, and that's so so so sad, though the sentiments of "i'll be there for you" rung so true throughout their time in whitestone.

imogen's "you know you saved my life," more than her "i love you," was heartbreaking and has stuck with me for so long.

it says more than i love you- it says in so many ways i love you and more, it says the same as percy's plea to pelor- "she is my heart and my judgement and the future i have chosen" because what is more romantic than being the person who helped someone find reasons worth living for?

but also- it's a glimpse into the huge breadth of sadness imogen carries with her, and continues to carry- the solitude. and i think we have a lot to explore with her mental health moving forward.

also, god bless critical role for letting marisha and laura hug each other and hold each other i just ;-; i was sad when they switched back but the CONTENT WE GOT when it was happening was perfection. a beautiful layer to the story.

laudna and growth

back when laudna said "the worst thing that could happen to me has already happened" it felt like she had processed a lot of her trauma- but seeing the episode today, i think this was her chance to make that sentence really ring true.

watching her walk through whitestone, and repaint those memories, holding the hands of her friends, feeling their support as she faced where she died- all it was beautifully done by matt and marisha and such a beautiful tribute to sharing trauma, but not letting it bury you- to let that growth take you further.

seeing her connect with whitestone, with the sun tree- it's a step in the right direction.

there are a lot of conversations that should be had. i wish the group had talked more, and dealt with shopping and catching the de rolos up less, but that means that there will be plenty to pick apart later.

but i can name so many conversations that will be heartbreaking later: laudna/fearne, laudna/ashton, laudna/orym especially. seeing fearne and ashton's quiet, almost timid love for laudna was a great touch as well.

it's interesting that as it stands, laudna's backstory, if it had a progress bar, is probably the closest completion. she's on the path to processing her trauma, and delilah lacks a connection she once had (whether she's still around is a great debate). i can see the last checkpoint be sealing delilah away for good, or restoring laudna's body to how it was before she died originally.

but that being said- she is also undeniably tied to imogen's journey. i can see her becoming a mentor, of sorts. they've been to laudna's home, and imogen was there every step of the way. when they travel to the taloned highlands, and imogen has to face her father, and the plains where she stands in her dreams, i know laudna will be there.

changed group dynamics (i lied it's mainly about imogen and laudna lmao i'm nothing if not an imodna stan first)

as a little aside to laudna's return- the group feels so complete and yet so different. especially laudna and imogen's relationship.

in many ways, they've switched places. laudna is the one outwardly showing her hurt- struggling to process trauma right in front of her eyes, needing support from her friends, reticent and unsure of herself.

and it's imogen, who provides the comfort. imogen, who advocates for laudna in the castle where she died, imogen, who holds her hand, imogen, who checks up on her.

imogen, who hides her pain from laudna.

because she doesn't tell everyone about the dream, at first. she hides her terror, of seeing eshteross in her dreams, because there is so much to do and people to contact and she can't let herself cry, because how could she put all of her sadness on laudna, when they're still in whitestone, when she was only dead a day ago?

she leans on fcg, this time, with her dreams, and it's strange, and laudna sees this and she's quiet. because she sees how imogen has grown. she can see that the group did things and grew ties to each other when she was gone, and it makes her wonder- what place does she have in the group, now?

finally:

our father, who art in heaven- lord eshteross

i love our orc grandpa and ill miss him so terribly. what a way to close out a halloween episode- i was terrified.

kudos to him for putting up a good fight, and for being so generous, and compassionate, and i hope he rests peacefully.

cr needs to post the cookie recipe though.

but more than that- otohan is becoming so SPOOKY, with her assassinations. she's so terrifying. so powerful, and deadly, with the toxin, and it's terrifying not knowing when she'll appear again.

because she's such a source of group pain. i don't think she's the BIG bad, because i think they'll be playing around with gods at some point, but damn she's putting up a good fight for that title.

overall, my favorite parts- imogen and laudna reunion, laura and marisha reunion, our milf lady vex'ahlia.

[privilege-rpg]

DELILAH ROSE

☆ FULL NAME: Delilah Anne Rose ☆ GENDER: Ciswoman ☆ PRONOUNS: She/Her ☆ AGE: 29 (April 13th, 1995) ☆ TYPE: Full sibling; triplet ☆ HOMETOWN: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania ☆ JOB: Professor of Computer Programming and Game Development ☆ SCHOOL: PSU Alumni ☆ SEXUALITY: Pansexual ☆ FACECLAIM: Melissa Benoist

ABOUT DELILAH

[TW: DEATH OF A SIGNIFICANT OTHER, TORTURE]

Delilah has always been too smart for her own good, and as a woman in STEAM, she has never shied away from fighting what she needs to fight for. In high school, Delilah focused most of her attention on getting the best possible grades so that she could go to the best possible school. Delilah always had a knack for computers and she knew in her soul that her calling was to use her absurd amount of knowledge and wisdom in some form of computer programming. While Marley found solace in playing instruments, Delilah found solace in being creative with Javascript and Python. And while MIT was tempting, she never got over the fact that she didn’t get in. Delilah followed her sisters to PSU instead and thinks she’s all the better for it.

Delilah got her bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice at PSU with the intention of going to Quantico to be an FBI Agent– and she did. After her first year of training, Delilah quickly worked up the ranks to become a Data Analyst, and spent most of her time working through codes and puzzles. Her brain performed analytics at a truly alarming rate, and while Delilah wasn’t a Field Agent, she spent a vast majority of her time decrypting information for her team. Delilah is a total puzzle snob, including doing all of the NYT puzzles on a daily basis (and the crossword in pen). Delilah is very adjacent to nerd culture and enjoys a ren fair, GMing any and all D&D games, romantasy novels, cozy video games, and escape rooms.

When she left Quantico, she spent about a year in DC working for the local office, but she was then called to work on a very specific case. Delilah was put into the New York City FBI Office with the sole purpose of using her absurdly puzzling brain to figure out a long-winded series of clues akin to Lost of Blindspot. She lived in New York, she started saying “on line”, and got used to lying about her job to her family. She had long hours and great pay and she was happy, so what else mattered? But when she met Neal Meyer, everything seemed to make sense for Delilah. Commitment wasn’t something she could ever do, mostly because of her job– and also because of someone she loved and had left behind in California. She fell hard and fast for Neal, and she knew that he could see her true heart and loved her anyway. Their love was quiet, but Delilah knew she’d found her soulmate. They were set to be married until one particularly dangerous heist left each member of her work team with a family member gone– and for Delilah, it was Neal.

At the time, she had become the Assistant Head of Data Analytics at the New York Branch of the FBI, and she knew that anyone and everyone close to her would be targets if her name and information got out there. Delilah further retreated from her family and knew that every day, she was putting Neal at risk. Her worst nightmare had come true. He was tortured on camera and she was forced to watch, forced to perform heinous acts for the sheer ability of saving him, but there was no hope for either of them. Delilah had to make the horrible choice between saving the love of her life and giving away government secrets– and of course, there was no choice. She just as well as pulled the trigger that executed him, and Delilah sank into a massive, major depression as a result of that particular mission. 

Her devastation at Neal’s passing had her retreat into Silicon Valley and hole herself up into the home she purchased. Quitting her job at the FBI wasn’t something that Delilah ever thought was in the cards for her, but considering how famous her mother was and sister was becoming, what was to stop them from going after her family, next? With great power comes great responsibility, and so Delilah turned to her former love: computer programming and video game design. She worked for years on a game called Evervale, which combined cozy farming simulations like Animal Crossing, Wylde Flowers, and Stardew Valley with some D&D mechanics. The game went mobile in 2022 and has become incredibly popular since. Delilah has been working on bringing more versions to various consoles and a sequel.

Her decision to take a professorship at PSU stemmed mostly from the fact that she wanted to be close to her sisters, and feel like she’s part of a community again. After spending the most amount of time lying about her job, ensuring that she’d keep her family safe, she’s very happily back to being honest with them about her former work and the truth of what happened to Neal. She’s spending her free time coding and doing more video game work, while fully ignoring that part of her life ever happened.

FAMILY BACKGROUND

The triplets’ dad is absent, while Millie is famous for being a chef and television personality. The siblings love each other but their relationship with Millie is sometimes strained to differing degrees due to emotional neglect after Millie made it big. The triplets are the only ones who remember what life was like before the fame.

[kellysbookblog]

RELEASE BLITZ Title: The Stranger Author: J.L. Perry Genre: Contemporary Romance Tropes: Billionaire, Grumpy/Sunshine, Fake Relationship Age Gap, Forced Proximity, Office Romance He’s Her Boss, Friends to Lovers Release Date: July 19, 2024

My GR: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/6679477686?book_show_action=false

My Amazon: still waiting.....

  

BLURB   SPENCER: When I woke to my phone ringing just after 5 am on a Sunday—my only day off—it was safe to say I wasn’t impressed. I answered the call with an abrupt, “What!” The audible gasp and berating that followed had me grumbling, “Someone better be dead, Mother.” “After the relationship status you were tagged in on Facebook, no less, I very well could be,” was her reply. Relationship status? With who? I immediately clicked on the app, only to find it was true. Delilah St. James had one of those faces that was hard to forget, and I knew I’d never laid eyes on this pretty blonde with beautiful blue eyes before. I could’ve let my assistant, PR company, or my lawyer deal with it, but against my better judgement, I clicked on the Messenger app. “Do I know you?” I typed. DELILAH: When my sister decided to post photos of her—on what was supposed to be my honeymoon—with my ex-fiancé on social media, I did something reckless and impulsive. I tagged her long-time crush, Spencer Prescott, in a fake relationship post. The last thing I expected was for him to reach out. I apologised profusely and told him I’d take it down immediately, briefly explaining why I had done it, and he replied with something unexpected. “Leave it up. What can it hurt?” Minutes later, I got a friend request from his mother … immediately inviting me to brunch. I only agreed to go, so I could tell her the truth to her face. What happened next was a domino effect that would change the course of all our lives.     GOODREADS LINK: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/214320620-the-stranger   BOOKBUB LINK: https://www.bookbub.com/books/the-stranger-by-j-l-perry     PURCHASE LINKS   US: https://amzn.to/4f00rF8 UK: https://amzn.to/3zCGlkn CA: https://amzn.to/3zHwgmc AU: https://amzn.to/4eZcxys Universal: https://books2read.com/u/4jGLAY   Free in Kindle Unlimited   Also available   Paperback: https://amzn.to/4bKi1dz Special Edition Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xM0Ryr     AUTHOR BIO Jodi is a wife and mother, born in Sydney, Australia. She recently moved to a property in the Hunter Valley with her family for a tree change. Under the name of J. L. Perry, five of her books have been #1 Bestsellers; including BASTARD, JAX, HOOKER, NINETEEN LETTERS and THE BOSS. Foreign rights to some of her books have been sold to Germany, Hungary, Czech and France where BASTARD became a top #20 bestseller. Some of her other titles include, FINDING HIM, FINDING FOREVER, FINDING US, FINDING FORGIVENESS, THE THIEF, ONLY ONE NIGHT, MR. BLACK, MR. EDWARDS and THE STRANGER.    NINETEEN LETTERS was debuted under the name of Jodi Perry through publishing giants, Hachette where it won the RWA Ruby Award for 2018 Romance Book of the Year. She also secured a publishing deal in the UK, with Sphere, an imprint company of Little Brown.      AUTHOR LINKS   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JodiLPerryAuthor Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1889439411280337 Goodreads (J.L. Perry): https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7825921.J_L_Perry Goodreads (Jodi Perry): https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6051057.Jodi_Perry Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/J-L-Perry/e/B00KZIJWX8 Twitter: https://twitter.com/JLPerryAuthor Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jlperryauthor TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jlperryauthor

[cagesings]

@heygutlcss​  sent:  five  times  protective:      (  five  times  the  receiver  was  protective  of  the  sender  )

            she  doesn’t  know  everyone  here.  not  that  johanna  wants  to  know  everyone  the  way  that  they  all  seem  to  know  each  other.  they  loose  that  opportunity  to  try  to  get  to  know  her  when  they  push  too  hard  for  information.  where  are  you  from?  how  long  have  you  been  married?  how  are  you  today  --  their  questions  are  more  irritating  than  the  sound  of  rats  feet  across  the  hardwood  or  screaming  from  other  cells  in  the  asylum.  johanna  does  not  owe  them  anything.  she  recognizes  those  faces  from  their  apartment  building  at  the  pub,  but  not  the  man  throwing  strange  glances  towards  her  husband  for  the  entirety  of  their  evening  here.  johanna  is  sitting  across  from  him,  watching  that  man  from  over  his  shoulder.  she  does  not  like  it  at  all.  as  riff  turns  to  pay  the  bill,  she  can  hear  the  man  whisper  something  about  him  that  makes  her  stomach  lurch  but  a  boiling  anger  takes  over.  thrusting  her  onto  her  feet  and  approaching  the  man.  ❝  don’t  you  ever  say  that  about  my  husband  again.  i’m  warning  you  for  your  own  sake,  sir.  if  he  hears  that,  you’ll  be  sorry.  i  wouldn’t  risk  it.  ❞  she  turns  around  and  pretends  as  if  the  exchange  never  happened  when  riff  returns.  

            the  first  thought  that  comes  to  mind  upon  seeing  him  walk  through  the  door  is  i  hate  blood.  she  hates  the  way  it  runs  down  his  face  like  raindrops  drizzling  down  a  window.  rain  is  peaceful.  blood  is  not.  mentally,  she  scolds  herself.  how  dare  she  think  about  her  own  distaste  for  something  when  riff  is  clearly  hurt.  johanna  is  quick  on  her  feet,  removing  a  handkerchief  out  of  her  pocket  (  one  of  his,  it’s  a  comfort  to  keep  in  her  pocket  when  he’s  away  ),  and  forcing  him  to  sit  in  the  chair  she  previously  occupied  to  dab  away  at  that  blood.  the  dry  fabric  isn’t  particularity  useful  when  trying  to  wipe  away  at  it.  the  blood  only  smears.  but  for  now,  she’s  focused  on  trying  to  get  it  to  stop.  her  free  hand  gently  tilt  his  chin  up  towards  to  make  him  look  her  in  the  eye.  ❝  who  did  this  to  you?  ❞

            delilah’s  friend  was  fine.  there  was  something  a  little  wrong  about  the  way  she  presented  herself,  the  way  she  walked  around  the  farm  as  if  she  owned  it,  the  way  she  flirted  with  every  single  man  she  spoke  to.  johanna  hadn’t  even  caught  her  name  with  how  surprised  she  was  in  the  way  she  introduced  herself.  the  woman  must  believe  she’s  the  queen.  lucille  whispered  to  her  earlier  that  her  father  was  the  most  wealthy  man  in  the  town,  causing  johanna  to  scowl.  the  countryside  isn’t  london.  hardly  anyone  should  care  how  wealthy  anyone  else  was.  besides,  it  made  her  think,  if  her  father  is  the  wealthiest  man  in  town,  then  why  isn’t  she  married  yet?  it’s  a  cruel  though,  but  having  grown  up  in  upper  london  society,  it  makes  her  think.  the  realization  of  why  she  isn’t  married  came  quick.  as  quickly  as  johanna’s  first  conversation  with  her.  she  was  horrible.  she  talked  about  how  the  young  men  in  town  could  never  dream  of  living  up  to  her  standards.  of  how  uncivilized  the  women  raised  their  children  to  be.  clearly,  she  said  to  johanna,  you  weren’t  blessed  with  a  greater  weight  distribution.  she  seemed  to  have  left  her  body  as  she  watched  the  other  women’s  jaws  drop  at  that  comment.  but  it  was  the  moment  that  she  began  talking  about  riff  that  johanna  lost  control  of  herself.  she  did  not  like  the  words  she  was  using.  she  did  not  like  the  language  she  used.  it  was  a  moment  of  intense  anger,  more  than  the  anger  she  reserved  for  any  doctor  or  her  former  guardian.  johanna  slapped  the  girl.  and  she  couldn’t  feel  sorry  about  it.  even  if  she  tried.            

            she’s  been  prying  again  and  perhaps,  she’s  pried  too  much.  hearing  about  that  man  called  his  uncle  makes  her  feel  sick.  to  know  that  riff  was  hurt  so  badly  in  his  youth,  yet  johanna  can’t  help  him  or  do  anything  about  it.  they  didn’t  know  each  other.  they  didn’t  even  know  the  other  existed  back  then.  though,  the  thought  disappears  almost  as  soon  as  she  thinks  it.  johanna  wanted  to  know.  needed  to  know  why  he  acts  the  way  he  does.  an  explanation  behind  the  defensiveness  and  how  he  forms  fists  so  quickly.  carefully,  her  fingers  wrap  around  his  own.  the  movement  is  as  gentle  as  she  can  make  it.  non-confrontation.  the  opposite  of  how  she  was  acting  before.  johanna  wants  to  thank  him  for  telling  her.  but  she  doesn’t  know  how  he’ll  react  to  a  thank  you.  if  it  will  put  him  on  guard.  instead,  all  she  can  offer  is  the  silent  promise  of  it’ll  never  happen  again.  

            they  linger  at  the  water’s  edge.  everyone  else  has  long  abandoned  their  outer  clothing  and  land  as  they  jumped  into  the  stream.  yet  johanna  cannot  bring  herself  to  feel  the  same  enthusiasm.  though,  the  accident  at  the  bridge  occurred  months  ago  and  riff  was  completely  healed,  she  doesn’t  like  the  idea  of  going  into  the  water.  her  brow  is  pursed  at  how  casual  riff  can  act,  as  if  this  stream  hadn’t  attempted  to  kill  him  only  months  prior.  his  hand  is  clasped  in  his.  teeth  sinking  into  her  lower  lip.  ❝  what  if  it  starts  raining  out  of  the  blue  and  something  happens  again?  ❞  the  sun  is  beaming  above  them.    it’s  hot  and  even  she’s  sweating.  stepping  into  the  water  has  never  sounded  sweeter.  ❝  i  told  you  i  can’t  .  .  .  i  told  you  that  if  you  died  i  would  be  very  upset  with  you.  i  don’t  want  you  to  get  hurt  again.  ❞  because  what  if  it  does  start  raining  again?  what  if  the  water  overflows  and  he  can’t  get  out  in  time?  what  if  it’s  not  a  few  broken  ribs  and  a  head  injury?  johanna  takes  his  other  hand  just  in  case.  

[dayeinthetrenches]

Good Catholic Girls Sitting Under a Tree… (gxg)

Do not repost content without proper credit to me.

[Masterlist Link]

Summary: A couple of closeted lesbians discover they’re gay for each other by accident.

Characters: Black girl x White Girl

Words: 2,100

Setting: Catholic Summer Camp

Hey, Hey, Hey! I'm back everyone! First of all, I want to apologize for not uploading for so long, I really went hard on my art these past few weeks and I couldn't get out of it, I just had to do it (ADHD things hehe). Anyway, as promised on my board, here is the sexy chapter.

Disclaimer, this isn't a dream and nor is it a personal experience, but just product of my imagination (I.e. fictional characters, scenarios only).  Enjoy some lesbian smut you pervs, lmao. Make sure to play Audio when you spot it ;)

●  ●  ●

"Okay Ladies, you know the drill. Floss, brush your teeth, shower, and go to sleep. Let's go."

I jumped and averted my gaze away from Tamara's back. Counselor Cindy swung the door open and one by one the girls and I marched inside the lounge area, including Tamara. Behind me, the door clicked shut.

Today's work was enough to bring down a whole village. I had been expected to do the chores around the camp but my days have growingly left me so worn out to the point where I'd already started to band-aid my chaffed Achilles tendons. I slumped across the couch, closing my eyes.

"Oh my god. Cut it out, Delilah." Complained Jenny, at the same time as Marianne did, "I'm exhausted, leave some room for us."

I groaned and forced myself off the couch. "Just take it, I'm going to brush my teeth."

As I stood, I watched as Tamara made a beeline to the bunks, slamming the door behind her. She must've had a rough day. The counselor was especially hard on her today and I didn't know why. It's none of my business, anyways. I thought.

After scrubbing my teeth clean, I walked out the bathroom and peeked out to the lounge room to see how the girls were doing. Jenny and Marianne were sound asleep, with Marianne resting her head on Jenny's shoulder, feet still perched up on the screen coffee table. I didn't want to disturb them, they looked too comfortable. I switched off the lights and walked back to the bunk room. Tamara was already fast asleep, only the rise and fall of her figure greeting me. It was probably for the best that I decided not to shower because one, I was way too tired to even stand and two, I didn't want to wake up the girls.

I trudged my feet forward until collapsing on the mattress, the springs protesting against my weight. I slowly blinked until sleep consumed me.

●  ●  ●

I woke up to the strange noises again for the third time tonight. As a light sleeper, every little rattle on the window or a gush in the wind alerted me out of my slumber, it made up for a terrible sleep schedule. But contrary to my other sleepless nights, this time the noises weren't the same. They were faint mewls that sporadically filled the still air. It was coming from the top bunk. Tamara. Maybe she was having one of those nightmares again. I thought.

I swung my legs out from under the sheets and got up from my bed. Another rustle comes from the top bunk and I freeze. I look up and Tamara's back is facing me. As she shook, an intense wave of guilt clogged my throat. I can't even begin to imagine all the things that have happened to her if she reacts the way that she does during her nightly episodes. The past few nights have not been good on her and I see it all over her face every time we talk. It pains me that she has to hide her emotions like that when it is completely fine to open up to people. I just hope she does it sooner rather than later because by the time she does, I won't be there for her and we'd all have to go back to our regularly scheduled lives. I treaded carefully out the door, afraid of making any noise that would wake them up and reached the kitchen. A bay window, stripped with metal bars illuminated the white tiled room. I served myself a cold glass of milk and chugged it down with a few cookies I'd hidden from the others. If sister Cindy caught me like this, I would have had to pray to the Lord that she won't be too harsh on me for the punishment. The stories I've heard are enough to keep you awake at night.

Once I felt like my cravings for sweets were satisfied, I put everything away and made a stealthy walk back to the bunk room. I was about to swing the door open when I heard a breathy sound erupt from the top bunk, this time louder than before, just above a whisper. I looked through the crack in the door to see the lower half of Tamara... who was rocking her hips back and forth.

No. NO! What are you thinking, Delilah! It's nothing of that. I scolded myself. She's  probably getting comfortable, just twisting in her sleep like any other normal person would in their sleep. Lord, forgive me for thinking this way... 

I ignored the thoughts and proceeded to open the door, just a little more when I heard  another sound regurgitate from her, this one sounding more like a whine. My eyes wander back up to see Tamara rocking her hips again, as if riding a horse. Her left-side arm, that hid from my view, matched the rhythm at which her hips rode, each second that went by making her movements faster and quicker, sometimes out of order and other times in a regular frequency. Realizing what really is happening, I felt my eyes jump out of my eye sockets. My hand shot up to my face, cupping my mouth.

Oh my god, it really is happening! Oh my god, Oh my god!

I spun around, screwing my eyes shut. What should I do?! Well now I'm sure I can't go to sleep unnoticed. And I can't exactly go to Sister Cindy's cabin, she made sure of it when she locked the door shut. I have to tell her tomorrow, first thing in the morning.

Like clockwork, another groan alerts me out of my thoughts. I turn back around and I find Tamara ride out an orgasm like a wave, out of rhythm and sporadic with her movements, until ultimately shaking to a stop. She twists in her bed and I dash out of sight. My heart is beating a million miles per hour, I felt more like a track horse than a human at this very moment. Suddenly, I thought of Jenny and Marianne. What if they find Tamara like this, vulnerable and exposed? I couldn't let that happen.

I tiptoed down the hall and peered over the wall to see that the girls were still dead asleep. I let out a shaky breath, relieved that at the least Tamara hadn't embarrassed herself any further by now.

I walked back to the entrance of the bunk room and peaked in. I had at least hoped she was finished and then I could slip back in without being noticed. I was wrong. I almost gasp when I see the sight before me. Tamara was now naked, exposed from the bottom down, with her pants discarded and hanging off the ladder. She now laid on her back with her knees resting on either side of the metal banister that framed the edges of the mattress. My eyes traveled down her toned body: her flesh like bronze and valleys of abdominal muscle inaugurated the start of her pelvic area, where her pussy was on full display, wet with ecstasy. She struck her cunt like a guitar pick pulling the strings of an acoustic guitar, except she was playing acoustic pussy. Her fingers disappeared inside her thick folds, glossy against the moonlight coming from the window.

I couldn't look away, just like I couldn't look away earlier on the porch, looking at the way her butt bounced ever so slightly to the subtle shuffle of her feet. I pressed my legs tight together. I couldn't explain the feeling, it was like my vagina had a mouth of its own, palpitating its frustrations against the fabric of the pijamas. The simple sight of her, laid out like a full-course meal made me want to rip my heart and head out of my body because none of my behaviors made sense, and I didn't want to continue feeling like this, feeling and looking so... desperate. The heartbeat in my pants had no mercy on me and became louder and louder in my ears. Out of desperation, I cupped my pussy to try and stop it from drumming. I hoped that putting my hand over it would shut it's lips from protesting any further... I was stupid. Stupid because it only made it worse. Now it felt warm and squishy, moist with heat, pulsing forcefully in the palm of my hand like it had a mind of its own.

I watched as Tamara continued to strum against her clitoris. I wasn't prepared for what came next because as she rode out her next orgasm, the next second, she came instead. As she spasmed, buckling her hips upward, a water-like liquid shot out from her vagina. My mouth gaped open, it was majestic, beautiful in its own way. She looked like a fancy fountain sculpture that spewed out water out its mouth, except she spewed it out of her guitar pussy. Something I didn't think possible happened right before my eyes and the only thing I could do was drive myself crazy by only looking at her from a few feet of distance. I couldn't do anything. I was frozen with the monster in my pants barking at her.

She ascended back down to the mattress, heaving out quiet breaths as she spread her folds apart with her fingers. I pressed my vagina and my hips jerked back as a reaction. I felt good, it almost felt painful, but I loved the buzz I felt after. I did it again and again, back and forth just like Tamara. My hips, I couldn't help them and I didn't want to stop either. I...liked it. But even then, it was not enough, I needed...more, wanted more. My legs tightened even more as I tried to get to the center of pleasure, assaulting myself with only my hand, riding it. But at one point, no matter how much I tried to get to the full extent of the buzzing feeling, I couldn't feel it all. I rode my hand hard, fully on instinct and without pauses in between.

I took in the glossy shine on Tamara's pussy. She caressed her folds like she was Bob Ross, painting a coating of her juices over its surface. She lifted a finger-tip, an inch away from her sex, and a string of cum attached itself to her finger dripping ever so slightly.

I was hot with sweat and continued to buckle against nothingness. Instantly as I think I'm about to get to a place of full pleasure, my foot slips. I grab onto the door to gain my balance and it creaks open. I heard a gasp. Eyes wide, I looked up to find Tamara scrambling to cover herself with her sheets. We both stared at each other, shocked and dazed. I was so embarrassed I began to see black dots in my vision.

After a moment, her eyes flickered down and I followed her gaze. I was still cupping my vagina and let go in a panic. I let out a shaky breath and looked back up. Tamara's eyes didn't move and I looked back down to see a wet patch cover the center of my pants. My eyes shoot up and Tamara is looking the other way, a slight tilt in the corner of her lips. I felt a warm heat creep up my ears and neck. I avert my eyes and scramble to close the door before striding to my bed with quick steps. I tucked the sheets over my head and bit my lip hard.

What have I done?

I realized in that moment what I'd just committed, and I feared for my life. I failed God, my father and savior. I failed him and not only that I acted on it. My heart sant. God is never going to forgive me. How could I do such a thing? Such a disgusting act like I had no shame? I didn't even stop myself either. I failed God and fell into temptation. I fell into the trap of Satan. I had to repent, for my own salvation and for his forgiveness. And so I clutched on to the cross necklace that was on my neck with my life and began to recite the Rosary.

I was on my second prayer when I felt a hand on my stomach. Feeling my heart jump out my chest, I rip off the sheets to find Tamara leaning over me.

"Hello."

●  ●  ●

Good catholic girls sitting under a tree... S.C.I.S.S.O.R.I.N.G.

(Edit 0ct 15: Original Audio wasn't on Spotify anymore so I replaced it.)

Part 2 coming sooon. (UPDATE: Part 2 is already up!)

[the-cult-of-russo]

Biggest regret (part 3)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: So many of you guys love this story and I love it. Thank you guys 😊

So this one really went off on a tangent and it's longer than I thought. But I didn't wanna rush this and I'm enjoying this story. So he doesn't meet his kid yet, that's in the next part that I'm writing right now. Then there will be another part that I've got in mind too.

Warnings: cursing, angst, sadness, fluff kinda, emotional Billy.

-----------

Delilah cooed happily where she was perched in a little rocker seat. It was vibrant pinks and yellows with a bar along the top and little stuffed animal shapes dangling off it that she swatted with her chubby hands. 

You were cleaning. Stress cleaning to be precise. Ever since you got that letter from Billy you'd felt out of sorts. You really hadn't expected it. You'd spent the better half of the start of your pregnancy thinking he'd come to his senses. That he'd turn up and say sorry or even call or text. But by the end of the pregnancy you realised you'd asked too much of him. That maybe you didn't know him as well as you thought. 

It had been a bitter pill to swallow having him just walk out of your lives like that. Your pregnancy hadn't been easy by any means and that only made it harder. You had no family, no real friends. You'd been completely alone. Every time you ended up at hospital the nurses took pity on you. Seeing you so sick with no visitors or help. It had been hard. 

Since Delilah could return home, one of your neighbours in your complex had taken to helping you. Louise was a woman in her 60s and before now you'd only ever seen her in passing with a murmured hello. But seeing you struggle as a single mother, she'd taken you under her wing and helped you immensely. 

You had to work from home since you had the baby. The time off with unpaid maternity leave when she was born and was sick had set you back quite a bit and now you were struggling. You'd had to leave your job since there was no way you could do it from home and you didn't have child care or the money to do it. And honestly, after having Delilah, the overwhelming urge to keep her safe was shocking. You didn't really want to leave her with someone you didn't know. It had been hard for you to agree to it with Louise who would occasionally have her for an hour or two so you could catch a break. And she was literally only next door which eased your mind a little. 

Now you were doing proofreading and transcription work from home and it didn't exactly pay great. You got by though and you made do with what you had. You just didn't expect things to go this way. You still remember when you found out you were pregnant and told Billy. It had been a huge shock to you and despite the nagging feeling that this was how it would end, you stupidly hoped it would be different. 

~

You sat on the bed, the test in your hands as the two pink lines glared at you. You were pregnant. You had a baby in your belly. You felt like you couldn't breathe. You and Billy weren't even super serious. There were feelings involved but neither of you mentioned it. Opting instead to pretend they weren't there. You were scared if you told him you loved him that he'd run for the hills and he was scared of feeling anything at all. 

You'd been 'together' for nearly two years. You weren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend, there were no labels slapped on you both. But everyone knew you were his and he was yours and it worked just fine. But now there was a baby. Now things got serious way quicker than you expected and you were terrified. 

You weren't ready to be a mom. You'd never put much thought into having kids and you didn't know how to be a mother. You'd have a tiny human that depended on you to keep them safe and loved. How the fuck would you manage that? And then there was Billy. You'd have to tell him and you felt sick with worry about how he would react. 

You knew about his childhood, you knew pretty much everything about each other. He'd never known love as a child and you hoped that would mean it would force him to want to be there and be a good dad. But you knew him well enough to have the worry that it would have the opposite effect and he'd freak out. 

He'd been at work and you'd been at his place. You didn't live with him, you still had your own place. But you stayed there most nights or he would be at yours. You never spent a night away from each other. 

You heard the front door open and close and you felt a wave of dread settle over you. Like an ice cold blanket snaking around your entire body as it squeezed. You had to tell him. You had to hope he would be okay with this. You knew you'd keep the baby regardless. Despite only knowing for literal minutes, you cared about this baby. This baby was a piece of you and a piece of Billy. There was no way you couldn't keep them.

"Hey, sweetheart! I'm home!" You heard him call from the living room. You swallowed thickly as you stood on shaky legs, stuffing the test in the pocket of your hoodie. You made your way to the living room as he shucked off his jacket. He looked handsome as always and he flashed you a warm smile when he saw you. But it fell when he took in your anxiety induced state.

"What's wrong?" He asked carefully, black eyes scanning over you like he was checking if you were hurt. Your throat tightened as you felt your eyes prickle and you willed the tears away. 

"Uh… you should sit down. We need to talk," you murmured softly. He frowned, tilting his head as he regarded you.

"Sounds ominous," he replied dryly. He complied though and moved to sit on the sofa. You opted to stay standing near the coffee table.

Your whole body felt like it was shaking and you felt in your bones that this was the moment where everything would change. Either for better or worse, but change was coming and it hurt your heart. You needed to just tell him, get it over with. You inhaled a shaky breath as you looked at him. His face was etched in concern and he was patient with you, watching all the emotions pass over your face.

"I'm pregnant," you blurted, grabbing the test from your pocket and handing it to him. His eyes almost popped out of his head and he grabbed the test, staring at it. You couldn't get a good read on his face other than the surprise and you didn't like that. He was staring at it hard and you knew he was deep in thought. That cold dread came back and sunk its claws into you. 

Suddenly, he tossed the test on the coffee table, springing out of his seat and moving around to the back of the couch like he wanted to get far away from you.

"No," he frowned. You blinked dumbly at him for a moment as your eyes burned.

"No?" You asked softly. His dark eyes pinned you in place then. For a brief moment you saw utter pain and complete panic, eyes glassy with unshed tears. But then all emotion left his face, left his eyes, and it felt like a punch to the gut. You'd seen that look on his face before but never directed at you. 

"I'm not… I can't do this. I don't want a kid," he said coldly. The lump in your throat got bigger as you nodded. What else could you say? You could cry and scream and fight but what was the use? Part of you expected this although you hoped for something else. You couldn't force him to stick around. If he wanted out then you had no choice but to let him. 

You felt tears slip down your face as you glared at the floor, lower lip quivering. You couldn't look at him. The pain you felt was unbearable. Pain for yourself for losing him, pain at how cold he was being, and pain for your baby for having a dad that didn't want them. Did Billy even realise he was continuing the cycle of his own upbringing? 

You felt his eyes burning into you but you couldn't look. You had so many things you wanted to say but they all caught on the lump in your throat. Without a word, he grabbed his jacket and left, slamming his door behind him so loud you jumped. You sobbed then, moving to curl up on the sofa as you let it all out. He was gone. You'd have to do this all alone and you missed him already despite him leaving you like this. 

You were unsure of how long you lay on his sofa sobbing your heart out until your phone chimed with a message. Stupidly you thought it was Billy saying sorry. It was Billy, but he definitely wasn't apologising.

'I'll be back in two hours. Pack all your shit and be gone before I get home. Don't contact me again.' 

You felt a surge of anger and bitterness seep into you then. You thought he'd cared. Never had he told you how he felt about you but he acted like he cared. Introduced you to the Castle's, his family. But clearly you were wrong. His message was loud and clear. You didn't respond, there was no need. He wanted to never hear from you again and that was fine. You packed anything of yours and left within an hour, your heart heavy with pain, hurt and anger. 

~

When you got his letter, at first you were angry. You wanted to be petty. Wanted to ignore it or send him one back telling him to go fuck himself. But you'd looked at your daughter then with her sweet smile and her dad's eyes and you couldn't. Because despite what he'd done, she deserved her dad. 

You hadn't responded to the letter right away. Two weeks you kept reading it and coming to terms with all the emotions it brought you. You knew you still cared about him even after what he'd done. You couldn't help it. But his letter sounded so sincere and the self loathing in his words tugged at your heart. He'd fucked up big time, but he was trying to fix it. Billy was a proud man and you knew it took him a lot to reach out to you. You wanted Delilah to get to know her dad and wanted her to have a relationship with him. 

You had a lot to work through and you and Billy would need some serious talks to be able to co-parent properly, but you'd do it for Delilah. There wasn't a thing in the world you wouldn't do for that girl. 

So you'd replied and now you've been waiting for his call. You were full of nerves and you could taste the emotions lingering from the day he left in the back of your throat. You felt like you were in some kind of limbo. 

After stress cleaning for a bit and looking after Delilah, you sat on the sofa with the TV on low as she snoozed in her little seat. You felt lucky she was such a chill baby. The pregnancy and birth had been harder to deal with and you thought having her would be difficult but it hadn't been that hard for you. Louise kept telling you that you had natural maternal instincts and that you'd picked it up easily. 

You tried to pay attention to the screen when your phone buzzed from your pocket. Your heart skipped a beat as you got it out. It was a number you didn't recognise and your breath started coming in shorter because you knew just who it would be.

"Hello?" Your voice shook a little as you answered and you heard a soft sigh on the other end. 

"Hey, Y/N, it's Billy," his voice was smooth like always but it sounded off. A little raw. 

"You got my letter then," you murmured. You rolled your eyes at yourself for stating the obvious but you didn't know what else to say. Never had it been so stilted and awkward to talk to Billy. 

"Yeah… and I know you asked me to really think about it, so I did. And I wanna be there. I'd like to… I'd like to meet her if I can," he sounded apprehensive and you wondered if he thought that you'd reject him even after telling him in the letter you wanted them to meet. 

"Okay… I'd like to meet up with you first. We have a lot to talk about that needs dealing with before you meet her," you said firmly. This you wouldn't budge on. There was a lot of unresolved tension and feelings around you both and one quick meeting with him wouldn't fix that, but you wanted to clear some air before he came to meet Delilah so it wasn't completely tense. You also wanted to make sure he really was 100% with this or you wouldn't allow it to happen. You wouldn't let her get hurt. 

"Yeah, I'll do… anything you need. Whatever you want," he answered quickly. You nodded even though he couldn't see it, happy that he wasn't fighting you on it. He seemed like he genuinely wanted to take this seriously which was good.

"Right… uh… I can… I can meet you today. The diner down the street from my place? About 6pm?" You asked softly. You heard him sniffle a bit down the phone and you started to wonder if he'd come up with an excuse about work. You knew he worked late a lot. 

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll be there," he said resolutely. This was a good start already.

"I'll see you then, bye Billy," you murmured. 

"Bye, Y/N," he replied softly. You hung up and blew out a breath, your shaking hands gripping your phone. You hadn't heard his voice in over a year and it had your heart hammering away against your ribcage. You still loved him but the love was tainted with pain and betrayal. You'd have to stuff it down for the sake of your daughter. 

You didn't bother to change out of your jeans, boots, tee and hoodie and after asking Louise if she could look after Delilah for a bit, you set off out. You'd told Louise everything. She already knew what happened with Billy and you'd even let her read his letter. While she wasn't happy he'd walked away in the first place, she was happy he was trying to step up now. You were glad she was supporting you with this. 

You got to the diner five minutes early and fully expected to have to wait. But when you got inside, Billy was already sitting in a booth. He looked shit scared and his fingers drummed on the table restlessly. As you approached, his head snapped up. So many emotions crossed his face as he looked at you that you couldn't keep up with them. But when it settled on heartbreak you felt your own squeeze painfully in your chest. 

He stood up as you got to the table and there was an awkward moment where you both looked at each other. He looked tired. He had dark rings around his eyes and his usually perfect hair was a little dishevelled. He had on casual clothes and his leather jacket. He took a step closer like he was going to hug you and you stepped back without thinking. His face fell a little and he nodded, the movement stiff but he seemed to understand you weren't ready for it. 

He moved to sit down and you sat opposite him. It was so tense you could cut the air with a knife and you didn't even know where to start. The waitress came over then and gave you both a bright smile and you both ordered coffee. Once she was gone the tense atmosphere was back.

"I'm sorry," Billy muttered brokenly. Your eyes looked up at him then and he was staring at you with shiny eyes. Your throat constricted and you cleared it.

"Billy-" you started with a frown. He cut you off though.

"I know… I know I'm the biggest asshole out there. I don't deserve you sittin' here or givin' me a chance. But I want you to know that… I thought about you and the baby… Delilah… every damn day. And I-I hated myself for walkin' away. And I can't take back what did, but I can be better. I want to be better. And I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I left. But I'm serious when I say I wanna be here. You said I'm in or out and I want in. And I swear, I fuckin' swear that I'll prove to you I'm a better man," he said imploringly, leaning his forearms on the table as he watched you. 

You blinked at him, collecting your emotions as the waitress came over with the coffees. She didn't linger, sensing the heaviness of whatever was happening in your booth. 

"I'm glad you're here, Billy. And it's gonna take work for us to… to be okay around each other. But Delilah is the focus here and you deserve to have a relationship with her. You're her dad," you said softly. He sneered, not at you but himself, as he shook his head.

"No… no I'm not. I haven't been there. Sure she's mine, my DNA, my blood, but… I walked out. I left you, I left her and you both needed me. I'm not a dad, not yet. But I'll do whatever it takes to show you I'm worthy of bein' her dad," his voice shook yet was also firm and you knew in your heart he meant his words. It settled you a bit to know he really was serious about this. 

"I'll be honest… part of me expected to come here and you wouldn't be ready. That you were talking shit for whatever reason. But I believe you. I wish it hadn't taken this long but I'm glad you're here now, Billy. It's been… so fucking hard doing this alone," your hands were around your cup and you stared at them as you spoke, your voice quiet among the light buzz in the diner. 

You heard his breathing hitch and looked at him again. His fists were clenched and his head was lowered which made it hard to read his face. His whole body was tense and you were about to open your mouth to ask if he was okay when you noticed his shoulders shaking slightly. Oh. 

He sucked in a breath as a broken sob left his lips and it ripped a hole right through your chest. Now matter what he'd done, seeing him this way was jarring. You'd seen many sides to Mr Billy Russo and you'd even seen him cry before. But he looked so worn down and broken and it hurt you even if it was his own fault. 

His elbows resting on the table, he brought his hands up and rested his head on them as he openly sobbed. You never thought you'd see the day that Lieutenant Russo cried in a public space but he seemed beyond caring. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you stood and moved to his side. You slid into the booth next to him as your own eyes welled up and you reached out a shaky hand to stroke the back of his neck. He tensed at first like he hadn't even noticed you'd moved which was startling given how perceptive he was about everything around him. But then he relaxed and moved his face from his hands and turned to look at you. Tears were streaming down his face and he looked younger and vulnerable. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck and he didn't hesitate to bury his face in your neck as his own arms held you tightly. You stroked his hair softly, trying to soothe him a little. You couldn't help it. Maybe it was that maternal instinct that always hated when someone was upset around you or maybe it was just the fact that no matter what happened, you did still care.

"It's okay, Billy," you whispered through your own tears. He shook his head where it was still pressed against your now damp neck.

"No it's not. I fucked up. I shoulda been there," his voice was muffled and broken with his soft sobs that were slowly easing and you held him a little tighter. 

"You did fuck up but you're here now and that's what matters," you murmured. You pulled away and he let you go reluctantly as he sniffled and looked down. You reached up and wiped his cheeks with your hoodie sleeves and then he looked at you. 

"We can't change the past, Billy. Yeah, you messed up, and yeah it hurt me. But you already missed out on so much and that's a punishment in itself. Things aren't gonna be easy and it'll take time for us to heal, but you're here now and Delilah needs you. That's what matters," you uttered, hands falling from his face. 

He sniffled again as he nodded, his obsidian gaze searching your face like he was looking for something. 

"I don't… I don't have the words because thank you doesn't even come close. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you helpin' me out and I don't deserve Delilah. I didn't really think I'd hear from you and now here you are, fuckin' comforting me in a diner when it should be the other way around," he lamented with a frown. 

"I don't like seeing you cry," you shrugged with a weak smile as your hands toyed with the sleeves of your hoodie. He gave you a small smile back as he nodded. A silence settled over you both then and it was slightly awkward. You knew he was probably embarrassed and also still beating himself up. Once upon a time you'd be glad to know how hard he was being on himself over this. But seeing him like this was painful. 

There were still a lot of things to sort through with the pair of you but they weren't the priority. The first and most important thing was him establishing a relationship with his daughter. You figured in time things would get easier with him and he seemed dead set on being here now. And you could see the genuine remorse for walking away so you knew he was serious. 

"I should go. But uh…" you murmured as you stood from the booth, Billy following suit. 

"You can… you can meet her tomorrow if you'd like? I could… I don't know, make dinner for us all? You could come by my place and meet her before dinner?" You suggested, voice laced with uncertainty. His face lit up then even with his slightly damp cheeks and shiny eyes. His smile was bright even if it was hesitant. 

"I'd really like that," he nodded as he gazed down at you. 

"Okay… good. Uh… come by around 5?" It still felt awkward between you and you hated it. It used to be so easy between the two of you. 

 "I will… thank you, Y/N," he murmured sincerely. You nodded and gave him a little smile. He stepped forward and this time you didn't step back. The hug didn't last long but it took you back to a time when things were good with the pair of you. Where you felt safe in his strong arms surrounded by his calming scent. It sent a pang through your chest. You hugged him back before he moved away and you gave him another nod before you left. 

By the time you were walking in your complex you had tears down your cheeks. It had been hard to see him after everything. Hard to see him such a mess too. You had that feeling, the same one you did the day you found out you were pregnant. That things were changing, this was a turning point. Only this time it was a good one. 

It was hard to wrap your head around after all this time that he'd be there. Of course there would be a period of adjustment where he got to know his daughter, but eventually he'd be parenting just like you. It was a strange feeling to comprehend that you wouldn't be alone in this anymore. 

Seeing him and speaking to him, it had eased some of the bitterness that you'd held for him. Not completely but quite a bit. You couldn't hold onto the anger and pain of the past, not when Delilah needed this. You'd never be able to go back and redo how things happened but you could close that chapter and start a new one. One where Billy was actually around and your daughter had a dad. Despite the nerves for the dinner the next day, you were also a little excited and hopeful. 

[mirkwoodshewolf]

A heavenly reunion pt. 1; Queen x reader

*Author's note*

This is it guys. After almost 3 years of writing this series it's FINALLY come to the end.  Like all good things, they must end eventually so here it is. The LAST chapter of my Rock Angel series.

I first want to point out the YEARS (except Freddie's death date) DON'T MEAN ANYTHING. I'M NOT TRYING TO PREDICT THE FUTURE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. I just picked these random years to represent when the remaining members of Queen will pass, AGAIN THESE AREN'T REAL DATES AND I HOPE THEY AREN'T.

Pt. 2 will be up in just a few minutes so until then, enjoy this first part.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@queensdivas

@queendeakyy

@queen-paladin

@sparkleslightlyy

@starswin

@labessieisallama

@isabella-bby

@naturalswifty89

@onebigfangirlworld

@ssa-sadboi

@5sos-wdw

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@geek-and-proud

@wormzteef

@bohemiansweede

_______________________________________________________________

*3rd Person POV. June 23rd, 2051*

Rock star, animal rights activist, founder of organizations like ANGELS CURING AIDS, WORDS CAN HURT TOO; Victims and survivors of emotional and verbal abuse, and the ANGELS AGAINST STALKING that helps protect people from violent stalkers. Also apart of charities like the Mercury Phoenix Trust foundation. The Rock Angel (Y/n) Kline had lived a full life.

She continued to tour with Queen as they got many other partnerships throughout the years. But she most enjoyed collaborating with Adam Lambert as he reminded her of him, bright and ambitious just wanting to share his music with the world and he knew he could never fill in Freddie's shoes but he sure as hell made a name for himself in his own way.

She was also a part of the "Bohemian Rhapsody" film that had been made and got to know the actors playing the men that she had grown up with and came to see them as her true family. Ten years after the film released, her own story got to be told thanks to the rights of Paramount and the brilliant mind of Dexter Fletcher, who had directed the story of her boys and Elton John, another one of her dearest friends and mentors.

But now at the crippled age of 90, the Rock Angel now lived in the privacy of her home in London. She was forced to stop touring because just 3 years ago she was diagnosed with a form of dementia.

It was hard on her family and her 4 children and dozens of grandchildren even great-grandchildren to see the once strong woman they had once admired for so long and looked up to as a role model not only in music, but life.

In their current home of London, her husband of over 70 years Jack who had made a name for himself. After the whole stalking incident, Jack joined the ranks of the LAPD. He worked himself all the way to the top and became Chief for over 30 years before he retired by the time he was in his 60's.

He sat there by his wife's bedside stroking her long white hair as she lay there forced into bedrest. She looked up at him and whispered.

"Jack?"

"I'm here baby."

"Where are they? Where are my boys?" she asked.

"Our sons? They're just downstairs."

"No, no. I meant my boys." At those two words, Jack's heart broke as he looked at his wife sympathetically.

"Baby they've—they died. It's been so many years since they all left this world." At hearing her boys were dead, tears fell down her face but Jack held onto his wife and kissed the top of her head. "But I can show you their videos, if you'd like."

"Please. I need to see them. To tell them goodbye." Jack then reached for the I-pad and opened up the Youtube app and began typing in the very song that he knew he would need.

He knew his wife didn't have long and he wanted her to have one last happy memory of hearing the perfect song written by her boys.

Together they held the I-pad and soon the music video "These are the days of our lives" came on.

"Why does Fred look so sick?" she asked worriedly. Jack swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to explain.

"He was suffering from AIDS, and it—really affected him love."

"I wish I could've taken care of him." She said as she stroked the screen every time Freddie came on screen. At the instrumental break as she watched Brian skillfully play the guitar, she smiled and said. "Bri....he was such a good guitar player."

"He was, but nothing compared to you." Jack praised obviously playing favorites. He then took notice of his wife growing tired as the song ended.

It was time.

"It's okay baby, you can rest now." And she did just that. Her breathing slowed right as Freddie spoke the last 'I still love you' line and the video ended. "Goodnight my Rock Angel. Be with your boys once again." He then let out a sob as he leaned against his deceased wife.

At 10:45am on June 23rd, 2051 (Y/n) Kline was pronounced dead at the old age of 90.

Everyone who had collaborated with the Rock Angel or had looked up to her all gathered at her funeral. Close friends and family all came to mourn at the loss of the last of the greatest Rock and Roll singers. She was buried in her birth town of Leicestershire, right next to her real parents.

*My POV*

I felt peaceful. My mind was no longer hazy. I could remember everything once again, but what confused me was where I was. I found myself walking through a long corridor but as I passed a mirror, I stopped and backed up to find a shocking surprise.

I was young again.

I looked to be about the age of 19, when I first met the guys. My hair was in the same long wavy fashion I once had before I cut it. I stroked along my cheek just to see if this was real or a dream, but as I stroked it I found that it was. Suddenly a door opened before me and I don't know why but I found myself walking toward it.

Now I was in what looked like an office with everything you would see. Filing cabinets, a large desk filled with paperwork but what caught my attention was the abacus that stood at the front center of the desk.

"Ahh (Y/n) Kline, please come forward." I turned to see a man around his 60's with short black hair, a grim like face with sharp cheekbones and icy blue eyes. He wore a black business suit and he was intimidating but for some reason I came forward toward the desk.

He sat down and pulled out a file and began reading through it humming to himself then he said.

"Place your hand over the abacus." I looked at it to see that the color code was white and black. White at top and black at the bottom.

"What is this?"

"This shall determine your next step. Just place your hand over it and let fate do the rest." I didn't know what this was gonna mean but again I saw myself place my hand over it and the second I did, it started going frantic.

Moving up and down frantically with no one even touching it. It was mostly balanced most of the way until it finally majority of the counters went white. The man smiled and said.

"Give my regards to those Rockstar friends' of yours. I'll be looking forward to your next concert." He then snapped his fingers and everything went bright.

Next thing I knew, I heard the sound of birds chirping and felt the sun beaming down on me. I was then greeted with wide open fields and a giant house along with several barn-like homes. It was like Garden Lodge and Rockfield farm mixed into one.

As I stood a few feet away from the main mansion-like house I swore from the second window of the white satin curtains I saw movement. I walked towards the house and placed my hand on the doorknob, I paused for a few seconds before I finally opened the door. I walked in and it was exactly like Freddie's home of Garden Lodge.

I walked through the threshold to see the grand staircase to my right, the long corridor ahead of me and the entrance to the living room to my left.

"Hello?" I said as I stood there. It was then I felt something nuzzle between my legs and I heard a meow. I heard it again and I looked down to see a very familiar face. "Hey, Delilah." I picked her up and held her as she purred and nuzzled my face. I scratched under her chin and she lowered her head to lick my hand.

"No it should be more like this." I heard a low, smooth baritone voice say.

"No, no and no Mr. tuxedo! Bernie has it like this and it shall remain this way. He and I are the genius piano and songwriting duo and it'll stick to this rhythm and timing." Another voice boasted out.

Oh my god.....It can't be. I set Delilah down and she took off running up the stairs as I crossed the living room into the parlor where Fred kept his piano to see two men that I had not seen in forever.

"David? Elton?" I spoke up. The two men turned toward me. David looked so much healthier than last I saw him and he looked younger just like me, in fact he looked about the same age he was when he did Live aid as well as working on the Jim Henson project 'the Labyrinth'.

Elton on the other hand looked about the age from when he was first starting off, back before he began experimenting with all the drugs and all that. The vibrant ginger hair but he still had on those flamboyant sunglasses he always loved to wear.

"Is that—really you?" I asked bewildered.

"Oh shit it can't be. The high angel herself, the Rock Angel?" Elton dramatic tone.

"Yes, it's me."

"Ohh darling. Welcome home." David greeted me with a wide smile and open arms as he walked up to me. He embraced me as he chuckled warmly and said, "Did you have a good life darling?"

"Uh-huh. I had the best life." I said, my voice muffled within his blue suit.

"It looked like you did love." We separated and I couldn't help but admire just how healthy he was.

"How have you been David?"

"Much better darling. No more chemo, I can finally breathe again."

"That's good."

"Alright you overgrown smooth talker, let me at her now." Elton proclaimed as he shoved David aside and immediately came up and kissed both of my cheeks before embracing me. "Oh darling we sure have missed you."

"And I you Elton. Life just hasn't been the same without your music."

"Been practicing those scales I taught you?" he asked pointedly.

"Yes, whenever I could."

"That's my girl." He hugged me again and I buried my face into his shoulder.

"(Y/n)?" a choir of voices soon rang up. I felt my heart stop as I lifted my head, not believing what I was hearing. Elton let go of me and both he and David with soft smiles on their faces told me to go and see who it was. The four voices called out my name again.

I crossed through the parlor, ran across the living room until I came to the door and just halfway up the staircase, I felt my smile widen and tears fill my eyes.

"My boys."

"You're finally here!" Freddie proclaimed. My legs raced directly up the stairs and Freddie, Brian, Roger and John all gathered me at the center in a long awaited Queen group hug.

All I felt were arms wrapped around me tightly, kisses all over my head and face and gentle hair and back strokes. I don't even know how long we were in that hug for but I didn't care, all I cared about was the fact my boys were here all together. When we finally separated I finally got a good look at all four of them.

They were all so young and vibrant just like how I first saw them back in concert long before I became an intern, I would like to think they were now the same ages they were when they first played at the Rainbow back in 1974. Long hair and all.

"I can't believe you four are here." I praised.

"And we can't believe you're here. And with your long hair again, was this when you were most happy?" asked Brian.

"If by that you mean when I first became Miami's intern? Yeah, best day of my life. Do you guys hate it?"

"No darling we've loved you no matter what your hair length is." Freddie said as he stroked the ends of my hair.

"I only just hope you didn't bring along any extreme surprises. Belly button rings, more tattoos." Deacy teased me. I chuckled but felt tears fall down my face.

"Aww lovie what is it?" Roger cooed as I felt him rub my shoulder. All four of them looking at me with those concerned puppy dog eyes they all knew how to do.

"I'm sorry. It's just—I missed you four so much." They all awed as Freddie first took me in his arms and said with his head leaning against mine.

"I know darling. It seems like it's been forever since the five of us were together."

"Coming from you Fred you have no idea." I wept as I gripped onto him as tight as I could, burying my face into his long black hair which softly tickled my face.

God if there's anything I missed about Freddie, it was his warm hugs. They were always so warm and inviting, anyone who was lucky enough to be given any sign of affection from this loveable man was considered lucky, and I was fortunate to be one of those people, and now finally after almost 60 years, I was able to feel that affection once more.

We were now upstairs in the master bedroom to do some private catching up.

"Alright sister dear, come here you." Deacy said. I smiled and immediately went into his arms and he embraced me. As all of you know, after Freddie's death, Deacy was the one to take it the hardest. So much so that he hardly played at any Queen gigs except for maybe three occasions then by 1997 he officially retired and no one had heard from him since.

The guys and I respected his decision so in order to make sure he was alright, I kept in contact with Veronica and would occasionally ask how Deacy was doing as well as the kids. I had learned that the two of them had two more kids, Luke and Cameron and the two of them had been successful in their own ways, all of the Deacy kiddies had, especially Luke who followed in his dad's footsteps and played in a band of his own.

In fact with the permission of the parents, I had allowed my nephew Luke to play at a few of my tours, and god just seeing him play reminded me so much of his dad, not to mentioned he looked so much like him.

And it was an honor to play with a second generation of Deacon.

The sad news of Deacy's passing came to Jack and I from Laura on a cold November day in 2035. Out of the two of us, Jack was the most heartbroken because he not only lost a brother but his idol and mentor.

We were invited to the burial by decree of the Deacy clan but I made sure that through some makeup and wigs that Jack and I weren't recognized by press because we wanted this to be private. As Deacy would've wanted that.

"Ohh I've missed you so much (y/n)."

"Not as much as I missed you brother mine."

It was then my attention turned towards the last 2 members of Queen, the remaining members I kept working with till the end. Brian May and Roger Taylor.

Together in our lives after Freddie's death and Deacy's retirement, I had been there for everything Queen got to accomplish, and they did the same for me. In fact it was Brian who bestowed upon me my plaque to be initiated into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame before I was given my star right above Queen's.

I was also involved with some of the work they did for a little movie called "Bohemian Rhapsody", and they helped become a part of my movie "Set it all free Angel". I first turned my attention to Brian.

It had been almost 10 years since my movie came out and 20 for Queen's film Bohemian Rhapsody. I was in my home studio working on my next upcoming album when I had received a call from Anita telling me that Brian had passed away at the age of 93. It was a peaceful passing so he wasn't suffering or in pain which I was thankful for in a way, he's suffered through so much that if I wanted him to go out, it would have to be peacefully in his sleep.

The world was devastated at losing such an inspiring man. Not only in the music industry, but for his work in astrophysics, as well as the animal programs that he's helped funded and laws he helped raise awareness for.

When he died, I took over the business in his name and within 3 years; I finally helped get laws of abusing, harming or killing animals to be illegal and anyone caught doing that wouldn't get misdemeanors. They would face legal full sentencing of 20-50years in Federal prison. On the night the laws passed and I along with Brian's partnering animal rehab centers signed off on the law, I went to Brian's grave and told him everything.

I immediately glomped him into a hug and held onto his waist tightly. He embraced me back just as tight as I was holding him, me humming lovingly as I buried my face into his chest feeling him stroke down my hair. After what felt like forever, he separated from me and stared down at me with those loving hazel blue eyes of his as he placed both his hands at the top of my head before stroking them downward against each side of my head and ending by cupping my face in his hands.

"I am so proud of everything you've done (Y/n). I saw it all, thank you for continuing my legacy for animal rights."

"You taught me everything I needed to know about being kind and caring towards all creatures, so much so you helped inspire me to do my own animal rehabilitations and rescues. I just—wish I could've been there for you when you......"

"It was beyond your control love. But I didn't suffer. I knew you loved me, and would've done anything to come see me had you known. I never blamed you, so stop blaming yourself." I nodded as tears slipped down my face but with his thumbs he wiped them away before hugging me once more. I felt him kiss my temple before cupping the side of my face once more to kiss my nose.

Even as I got older and we were both in our senior years, he never once stopped with the nose pecks. I smiled and Eskimo kissed him before he pressed his forehead against mine. It was then I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to my right to see Roger standing before me.

Besides Freddie's death, I think the most devastating thing for me was when Roger died. It was about a year after Brian's death when I had gotten a frantic call from my godson Rufus that Roger had been taken to the hospital because of a stroke. Without hesitating, I got into the car and raced to West London Medical Hospital, where I met up with the Taylor pride.

I was frantic with anxiety and fear that I would lose yet a 3rd member of Queen. Over 48hrs passed when Rog finally regained consciousness and I was sitting right there by his bedside holding his hand. He spoke so softly it was like whispers on the wind and the only thing he wanted to do was go outside.

Reluctantly the doctors allowed it so my godchildren, and his wife Sarina took him out to the hospital garden and allowed me some one on one time with him. But I didn't know that that would be the last time they would ever get to talk to him. The last words he ever spoke to me were and I still remember it to this day, even up here in heaven.

"Brian and Freddie have come to collect me, they send out their love to you and Deacy. Look after the old bastard for us." And I literally felt his life slip away from my hand as he died right there in front of me.

For months I was depressed. I was allowed to go to the funeral and speak my eulogy and I sang at his funeral, this time my own rendition of Phil Collins' song 'You'll be in my heart.' It was also because of his funeral that Deacy and I got even closer than we had in years.

He had secretly gone to both Brian and Roger's funeral but it didn't take till Rog passed for him to physically approach me and we both just wept and cried from losing a father, a brother, a great friend together.

Finally when I finally gained the strength, me and the Taylor children all took a picnic up where Roger was born and just looked out beyond the fields of where his childhood home was and reminisced on all the wonderful memories we had of our father.

And it was from his death I produced my album 'Papa Lion' and dedicated it to him; 'To my Papa Lion, and all the other father lions out there. Keep protecting your children no matter what'.

"You gonna get into these arms or what love?" he asked me. I spoke not a word but felt tears in my eyes as I raced up and buried myself into his neck and dirty blonde almost brunette hair. He held me and spun me around, kissing all over my face humming and moaning lovingly.

When he finally set me down, he cupped my face just like Brian did but he gently leaned forward and very gingerly headbutted my forehead and the two of us nuzzled each other, rubbing our noses together.

Like a father lion and his cub reuniting with each other at last.

I held onto his wrists which still cupped the sides of my face and just allowed my tears to fall out but I couldn't stop smiling.

"I hope those are happy tears." He said to me. I sniffled and nodded.

"Yeah the—these are....ha-happy tears." I choked out.

"You know you don't have to be so strong around me, right lovie?" It was then I just broke down and wept as I embraced him. "Shhh, shh. I'm here my lion cub, I'm here. Papa lion is here." He whispered in my ear.

"God I have waited so long for you to say that." I whimpered out to hear him softly laugh and just hug me tighter.

"Oh my darlings.....my heart.....it's too full!" We heard Fred exclaim out dramatically. We both laughed as I nuzzled deeper into my papa lion's chest, happy to finally be reunited with them.

After finally calming down, we were all just sitting around the master bedroom. I was up against the couch leaning against Deacy's legs as he was currently brushing and braiding my hair.

"So you guys continuing to rock it out here in Heaven?" I asked.

"Don't you know it darling. Every good singer who has helped made a difference comes up here and we continue to live a peaceful eternity doing what we were born to do. Be performers." Freddie stated.

"In fact we just had our concert the other night. We got to perform alongside the Beatles." Said Roger.

"Shut up! The Beatles?!"

"You know it love, Lennon, McCartney, Harrison and Starr." Said Brian.

"Wow, I wish I could've seen it." I said.

"You will darling, we perform our concerts every single night. And it's always a mix mash of artists and bands collaborating together to perform the Greatest Heavenly Rock 'n Roll concert." Said Fred.

"Now that you're here poppet, you'll get the chance to perform with the best of the best." Said Deacy. I was flabbergasted.

"Holy......" I couldn't even finish it because I was just so shocked to think that I would be performing with the greatest artists long before my time and bands I wish I had the chance to record or perform alongside with. The guys all chuckled at me and I said.

"So that's why David and Elton were here."

"Mm-hmm. We're all performing together in tonight's show. Three artists of the 70's decade for the first time ever sharing the stage together." Said Brian.

"Ohh man what people would've killed to see that in person. I mean yeah you guys performed at the same venue like we did with Live Aid or did some recordings together but never all three of you guys on stage at once." I said.

"That's how it works around here." Spoke Deacy as he finished the last strand of my braid. I thanked him and observed the braid he had done and I commented.

"You've gotten better Deacy."

"Laura was good practice. My baby girl always wanted her hair braided."

"She may have gotten that from me, sorry." He playfully scowled at me but I cheekily stuck my tongue out at him. "Say Fred, where's Jim at? I figured if you were here, he would be too."

"Oh that man of mine, he's out tending the garden, come have a look." He escorted me to the back window and there I saw a field of flowers as far as the eye could see.

"Whoa. He's done all of that?"

"Been doing it since 2010 darling. Always a hard worker my husband. When he first came, I was worried he wouldn't like this appearance of mine, after all I didn't have my tache and my hair was much shorter than when I first met him."

"Jim loves you Freddie. He loves you no matter what you'd look like."

"And I did know. Turns out he's got a long hair kink." He whispered to me which made me choke out a laugh.

"Seriously?" He nodded ecstatically and that's when Deacy spoke up.

"We're still here Fred, no need to hear any of that."

"Oh god Deacy don't act so innocent. After all you were the one who wrote a song about pre-ejaculation." Deacy's mouth just gaped before turning stoic, and of course Rog and Bri were laughing their asses off. He turned to me and I shrugged saying.

"He's got a point."

"Okay yeah ha-ha fuck all of you."

"Oh come off it John. We mean no harm by it." Roger teased

"At least it's better than a car fucking song." Deacy fired back.

"That's not funny!" Roger proclaimed.

"It is kinda funny." Deacy sassed back.

"Okay, okay enough both of you. I had enough of your arguments to last an entire lifetime. I don't need to relive it now when I just got here." I stated.

"Sorry love." They both choired out.

"Oh (y/n), I do have a surprise for you though." Brian spoke up. I looked at him and said,

"What kind of surprise?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?" He said as he walked right up to me.

"If you tell me, I'll still act surprise." He chuckled and wrapped an arm around me.

"C'mon love, let's head outside." We soon went down the stairs and headed out of the house.

Brian lead me to an open field about a half mile away from the house. There was nothing but green for miles ahead.

"Brian what's this about?"

"You'll see." He then took his index finger and thumb and curled them inward like pinchers before placing them against his lips letting out a loud whistle. We stood there for a moment that was until I heard a bark. A very familiar bark. No it—it couldn't be.

Soon jogging up the hill about a mile away was a German Shepherd. His familiar traditional fur coat shined under the sun as he looked right at me. He let out a couple of barks and soon several more dogs came running up beside him.

They consisted of a golden retriever, 2 pit-bulls, 3 huskies (1 traditional black and white, another grey and white and the last one an auburn coloring), a collie, and 4 Labradors (2 blacks, a tan and one brown).

With each dog that this pack had, I knew every single one of them. I turned to Brian baffled and he just grinned at me before nodding telling me that they were who I thought they were. I turned back around and the German Shepherd let out a bark. I then let instinct take over and ran as I cried out.

"Bucky!" He soon came running after me, as did all the other dogs barking and panting as they all ran down the hill towards me. "C'mon kids! Come on!" I proclaimed. Each dog was running as fast as they could but Bucky and the black and white husky Shasta were leading the pack. "C'mon kids!" Bucky let out some barks as he raced ahead of Shasta and we met half-way.

Bucky leapt with both paws to my shoulders knocking me down onto the ground.

"Ohh Buck. I can't believe it's you! Ohh look at you boy! Good boy Buck!" A second later Shasta came up to me whimpering happily as his tail wagged. "Oh Shasta baby boy look at you! Hi~ Hi baby boy~." Soon enough my entire dog pack was all up on me grunting and whimpering happily as they all began to tackle me, wanting my attention and love.

Now while you all know I've had Bucky and Sammy as the family pets for Jack and the kids. The other dogs have a different story. The two pitbull brothers that I had named Titan and Bear were rescue dogs when I was a part of an actual rescue mission with one of my animal charities in saving dogs from a Mexican dogfight.

Whenever I was free from touring and recording, I made sure they were well taken care of and even let them stay at my home for awhile before they were finally adopted by a good family.

My triple threat huskies Shasta, Maya (the grey and white) and Eevee (auburn) were actually Kelly's dogs. Shortly after she left for college, she wanted to fill her house with dogs so she adopted these three and very often when she would visit or we would visit her, these troublemakers were always there. Sweet and loveable but stubborn little buggers but I wouldn't take them either way.

The Labradors were also rescue dogs that I helped out. The black one Raider and white one Rowdy were just left abandoned tied up in the backyard of their owners homes. The owners had abandoned them and left them for dead in the hottest summer of the year. But thanks to my team we got them out, sheltered and good homes but I occasionally checked in on them since I couldn't let them go.

The brown lab Cleopatra and the other black lab Midnight were once stray dogs till my son Freddie found them and gave them some food and water. Since he didn't have the heart to turn them to the shelter he adopted them. They even started their own little family since Midnight and Cleopatra were mates together and had many puppies together.

And finally the beautiful Collie was Jezebel. Jezebel was something special because she was actually my nana's dog. I hadn't seen her since I was probably five years old, she was already an old girl growing up but from what I remember, she was so maternal with me.

Whenever my nana was busy with something, she knew she could trust Jezebel with me.

After giving every single dog my attention I finally managed to stand up and see all the dogs in my life standing in a row.

"Jezzy, Bucky, Sammy, Titan, Bear, Shasta, Maya, Eevee, Cleo, Midnight, Rowdy and Raider. I don't believe it. Good doggies. My lucky dog pack. I can't believe you're all here. How did you find them all?"

"I was out strolling wanting to observe the stars when I found Bucky and Sammy. They immediately recognized me and just came running right for me. Soon enough they brought me to meet the rest of the dogs you've known and rescued. I was surprised about the collie but I knew she wouldn't be among them if she wasn't a part of your family."

"Yeah, Jezebel was my nana's dog. I called her Jezzy cause I couldn't quite pronounce her name. She was like my guardian dog angel. Always maternal until she passed away of cancer when I was just 5 years old." I walked up to her and pet her head and she leaned up against me. "She even saved me from almost being attacked by a stray dog one summer."

"Well I'm very glad she did." Brian said as he walked up and stroked her head and she gave his hand a friendly sniff and lick.

"And you took care of all of them?"

"Well I'm an animal activist through and through. If Freddie takes care of every cat that comes to Heaven, I thought I should take care of the animals I've grown fond of, but also the animals my little protegee has taken on herself. As well as the family dogs." I smiled and Brian and thanked him with a hug and he gratefully hugged me back.

As the day drew to a close and nightfall came, the boys had escorted me over to the Heavenly Concert hall. If we want to look at it scale wise, imagine it as Wembley Stadium during the time of Live Aid back in 1985. We drove in a royal golden carriage fit only for her royal majesties themselves.

"Wow, it's just like Wembley stadium."

"It is in a way, but it can fit an infinite amount of people. Any and all are welcome to watch us perform." Said Deacy.

"And we won't need to do soundchecks or anything?"

"Nope. This is heaven darling. Up here everything works to the full capacity and capability. No have to worry ever again about sound checks or power outages." Freddie stated. Our carriage soon stopped at the back entrance and the doors magically opened.

I stepped out first followed by Deacy, Roger, Brian and Freddie. Deacy wrapped his arm around me and guided me into the building and the five of us followed the sign down to the basement level where the dressing rooms were.

And it was like they said, I saw dozens of stars with the names of so many artists and bands before and during my time. Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin, the Beatles, David, Elton, Led Zeppelin, REO Speedwagon, George Michael, Phil Collins, Bob Dylan, and everyone and anyone you could think of.

"And here we are darling, your dressing room awaits." Roger said as he stood before a red door with a golden star with wings on each side that read in bold black letters my stage name ROCK ANGEL. He opened it up and I was in awe.

Inside was a very large room filled with furniture, a huge makeup station with large mirror decored with lamplights around the perimeter of it.

On the left side of the dressing room were hundreds of different outfit's I've worn throughout the years. Everything was there on hangers along with some of the hats I wore, fedora's, cowgirl, and my famed flat caps of various different colors and styles.

While on the right; I could see just music instruments like the Red Special Brian had made for me up against a special holder up along the wall right by my makeup stand.

"Is this my....."

"Go on and have a look darling." I heard Freddie say in my ear.

"Okay. I finally have my own mall." I walked in and was just in awe at everything. It looked like heaven had taken my master bedroom from my first home I had after becoming the Rock Angel and just put it all here.

I walked inside and said.

"Ooo, very nice shoes." I pointed out on the shoe wrack seeing some of the styles of shoes I've worn. From combat boots, to Adidas', flats, and even the high-heeled boots that Deacy always wore during the 1970's.

"We're glad you like them darling. Why don't you go around that corner and press the black button along the dresser." Deacy said. I walked further in and reached a dresser and found the black button. When I pressed it, a couple of shelves slowly opened up revealing almost every pair of sunglasses I've always worn.

"Oh my god! I've missed wearing these." I picked up a pair of my ray ban black and gold framed sunglasses. "Didn't I make these look good?" I quickly turned to see the guys were gone. "Guys?"

"Over here love." I heard Brian's voice say. I walked towards the right to see my boys standing or sitting along some of the foot stools.

"Oh there you all are. Ohh nice amps." I couldn't help but see the amps up along the wall. "I—I'm just...." Before I could continue a remote was tossed over at me by Roger as he said.

"Before you even say anything else. Type in combination 2-1-2." I muttered the combination to myself as I pressed the numbers and soon the closet before us opened and soon revolving around were various guitars and bass guitars, shelves soon opened revealing several pairs of drumsticks each imprinted with my name on them.

I had no words.

"Umm....this is.....I can't—" I jumped back a bit as the top shelves suddenly opened revealing two different microphones. One was a basic black but it was bedazzled with red gems while the other one was pure gold with golden gems.

"Elton and I had a little hand of having your microphones designed." Said Freddie with a modest shrug.

"I mean....guys this is......unbelievable. And this is all mine?"

"Oh darling you should see ours. It's practically the entire mansion back home."

"Each star that comes here is given the full custom of what they've enjoy back on Earth. And since you've favored how you once had your rotating dressers back in 2011, it's all here for you but advanced into your instruments as well." Said Roger.

"And if anyone has any suggestion like if they're close to another artist, they can submit some suggestions of what should be in said artists dressing room." Brian spoke up.

"Aww you guys, I love you." I said as I came up to them and we got into a group hugged.

"We love you too (Y/n) darling. Now hurry up and get ready, the concert is about to begin." The boys left me to my own business. I walked up to my clothes rack and went through every style and decided that if I was to do my first concert in Heaven, I might as well wear exactly what I wore for my first concert as the Rock Angel.

After getting ready and doing my makeup the same way Freddie had done for me that day in Madison Square Garden, I picked up my Red Special and put it around my neck and left my dressing room.

"The Rock Angel is back." I looked up to see the boys standing across me in front of their dressing room, dressed to the T like they had at the they did at the Odeon theater Christmas Eve 1975. I smiled and said.

"Well look at you guys, it seems like only yesterday I was sneaking my friends into the house while Joanna and Graham were at their Christmas party just to watch you guys live at the Hammersmith Oden theater." I sassed.

"Thank you love, now c'mon time to head to the stage." Roger said. The lads cheered and I followed behind as we all walked back up the stairs and went through the corridors of backstage. Hundreds upon hundreds of artists were getting themselves ready to go up and perform.

I watched as the boys did their typical body warmups to get themselves pumped up when I felt a nudge at my arm.

"You seem quiet poppet, everything okay?" I looked up to see Deacy standing beside me.

"You said anybody whose anybody comes to see these shows right?" He nodded and I said solemnly, "Do....do you think my family, like my mum and dad know that I'm here now? That I'm here performing?" I felt him wrap his arm around my shoulder and he said.

"It's possible. Anytime a new artist or band comes here, it's fully announced far and wide throughout Heaven. So there's a good chance they might be out there in the audience."

"I hope so. I just want to show them what I've achieved, I want them to be proud of me."

"They are poppet. Just like we are." He embraced me in a one armed hug leaning his head against mine.

"I really have missed these moments between us Deacy."

"So have I. And I've got a hell of a lot of comforting to catch up on."

"Well now's a good start."

"Oi you two! Are we going to perform or not?" The two of us smiled as we heard Roger's voice cry out to us. My brother looked down at me and he said.

"C'mon, let's go do our thing." I nodded and we headed towards the guys.

*3rd Person POV*

Once again it was concert time. Every soul that had passed into heaven that was a fan of Rock and Roll or music in general came from far and wide to come to the concert of concerts, even bigger than the Earthly event that Live Aid gave the world.

Generations of artists and musicians that had come from around the world from many different backgrounds came to this very stadium to give the performance of their afterlives. Thousands, almost a million people poured into the stadium as the lights were flashing and doing their test run for each artist that would perform that night.

Soon Bob Geldof came onto the stage and everyone applauded for him.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome once again to the Heaven's Rock and Roll concert." Everyone applauded and cheered holding up signs of their favorite artists or bands that would be performing tonight. "It gives me great honor to announce that we recently were given a new arrival, but I won't give it away on who it is." The audience crowd because they wanted to hear who it was as Bob continued, "I'll leave that to the band who know her best. So without further ado I would like to bring up on stage the first band performance of this evening's festivities. These lads I knew personally and they helped make one of the biggest rock concerts even greater than I could ever imagine. These four individually talented young men rose to the stardom in the early 1970's before exploding into the worldwide phenomenon by the 1980's. Ladies and Gentlemen please bow before her royal majesties that is Queen!"

The crowd roared with applause as Bob left the stage and the stage grew dark. Soon the opening notes for "Now I'm here" began playing and everyone cheered louder as they began clapping in rhythm. Those who have seen and grew up seeing Queen live, knew exactly how to react and behave during a Queen concert and those who got to know Queen up here in heaven got a taste of what it would've been like had they seen them in person with all four of them up on stage.

Soon Freddie's silhouette and voice echoed through the speakers as he began to sing the song. When the song began to pick up, the lights on stage exploded as did fire from the sides of the stage as all four members of Queen were finally revealed to the crowd.

Freddie lead with the vocals and his mates and brothers backed him up on not only the vocals but their instruments, and ever the frontman he was, strutted the stage like it was his as his voice overpowered and reached out into the audience with a force unlike anything.

By the end of the song, Freddie proclaimed into the microphone.

"Thank you! Thank you, good evening everybody!" The crowd cheered as Freddie continued, "Oh it looks magnificent out there tonight. Okay my darlings, right now. Right now, we're going to take you for the first time ever we're taking you all to the battlefield. This is called Ogre Battle!"

The boys continued to play a few more songs like 'White Queen', 'Killer Queen', 'Bohemian Rhapsody', 'Don't stop me now' and 'Son and Daughter' included with Brian's famous guitar solo giving Deacy and Freddie enough time to change clothes for the next half of the performance. Freddie now wearing the famed black satin outfit with his chest exposed and diamond fingernailed glove as well as the chain glove on the other.

"Yes thank you, thank you very much. Featuring Brian May on guitar!" Brian took a bow as the spotlight shined on him and the crowd cheered. "Now then my darlings, as I'm sure everyone's heard we have a new arrival. A very special girl to all four of us. How would you all like to meet her?"

The crowd roared with applause and soon Roger began doing one single rhythmic beat. Hearing the beat made the entire audience clap in that single beat rhythm.

"She first rose to the spotlight in the summer of 1981. A bright, charismatic young woman whose music has touched the lives of millions. To us she wasn't a shadow of our fame, she was an equal partnership. The like of which we had never knew we could ever ask for. Ladies and gentlemen and everyone up in the balcony give it up for Heaven's very own Rock Angel, Mrs. (Y/n) Kline!"

From up on the catwalk above the stage, the silhouette of the Rock Angel herself came up and it appeared that she actually had angel wings sprouting from her back as she began the first verse of her famed song "Set it all Free".

By the chorus, the screen lifted up and she hopped off the catwalk and gratefully fell from the 10ft catwalk onto center stage playing her Red Special as her boys backed her up as they always did whenever they performed this song together.

And seeing the two artists perform together, Queen and the Rock Angel, the crowd was in pure excitement bouncing up and down and crying out the lyrics to the well known song that the Rock Angel's 'Bohemian Rhapsody'.

But none were more happy to perform once again than the artists that were on stage. It had been forever since it was the five of them together up on stage and they couldn't help but look at each other. As the guitar solo came up, it turned into a guitar battle between the Rock Angel herself and Brian May which got the crowd really pumped up.

By the end of the song, everyone was chanting out 'Angel! Angel! Angel!'

"Hello Rock and roll heaven how's everyone doing tonight!?" The crowd welcomed her with a roar of applause. "God I can't believe I'm here performing with my boys once again. And right now we'd like to bring out a special guest for this next number." She turned to Deacy who nodded and began playing his bassline for "Under Pressure" which got the crowd applauding louder.

"This man is a well-known legend and the birth of a true 'flamboyant' hard rocker. And a very close friend of mine." Freddie started.

"Six time Grammy award winner, 4 time Brit award winner, actor, musician. Everyone put your hands together for Mr. David Bowie!" (Y/n) proclaimed into the mic.

It was then Freddie and (Y/n) began singing the first part of the song as at the center stage a circular hole began to open and soon rising up onto the stage was David Bowie himself. He wore a royal blue suit with a black undercoat suit shirt as well as the business white shirt. A light blue tie and black shoes.

He soon began his line of the first bridge as Freddie and the Rock Angel backed him up. When the second part of the song came up after Freddie's little vocalization, David gave the gesture for (Y/n) to take the second part of the song. And as she always performed it, she would lowly sing in her alto range before suddenly belting out to the perfect volume as she would hold the note out for as long as she could letting the two legends back her up.

Just like the record Freddie and Roger softly sung the first part of the break, then David came in before (Y/n) belted out the why vocals before the song picked right back up. It was something that could only be seen in Heaven. Three legendary singers performing one song.

David Bowie, Freddie Mercury and (Y/n) Kline the Rock Angel.

The three lead singers stood side by side with each other with David on the left, Freddie in the middle and (y/n) to the right. The three in almost rehearsed synchronicity began to sidestepped across the stage as all three voices blended the bridge that it could give one an eargasm.

Agreeing with each other and knowing what she could do to close the song, both David and Freddie stepped back with (y/n) completely unaware as she just allowed the song to consume her.

At the final note, she let out a proud controlled belt that was first heard at Freddie's tribute concert and it almost seemed like the sun was rising as the stage was lit up in a heavenly glow as she held the note. The entire audience was in an uproar as they gave a standing ovation to the Rock Angel herself.

She turned around and saw the five older men smiling at her and applauding her for a phenomenal performance that they have missed so dearly.

The concert continued as Elton John soon came up on stage and together he, Freddie and (y/n) sang 'I'm still standing' a song that was personal to all three of them in some shape or form but they knew this was the perfect song for them all to sing.

After a few more Queen songs, with the allowance of their beloved Rock Angel since her set was about to come up after theirs, she allowed them to stay and be her band as she would perform her hit songs before the souls of Heaven.

Songs like 'Who I am', 'So good,' 'Bridge of light', 'Rock angel', her rendition of 'Somebody to love', 'We'll be together', and with her boys already up there with her they did a few more duets of Queen songs like 'Friends will be friends', 'Spread your wings', 'Fat Bottomed girls', and 'Jailhouse Rock'.

Finally their time was up and as 'God save the Queen' played through the speakers, all five of them stood side by side each other and bid the crowd a goodbye and thank you.

After watching several performances from backstage, and when the concert finally came to a close it was time for the after party. So just outside in the back a beautiful garden was set up with refreshments and plenty of drinks to fit everyone's needs and all the performers of the night came out to talk amongst one another and to celebrate another well-performed concert.

As well as to welcome their newest achievement.

*My POV*

Oh my god. That was a thrill rush, and now being here at the after party I saw literally everyone. Elvis, Janis, the Beatles, Little Richard, Elton, David, Hendrix, everyone in rock and roll big names were gathered around this beautiful garden.

As I went to go grab some water I felt a hand tap my shoulder and there stood John Lennon himself.

"So you are the famous Rock Angel?" I swallowed my water and was completely star-struck.

"Y-yeah I.....Mr. Lennon I....."

"Please call me John."

"Okay, John. Can I just say.....just between us that you were always my favorite Beatle out of the group."

"Coming from you that's a huge honor. And now I can finally rub it into Paul's face the bugger." I laughed and that's when I heard a female voice say.

"Alright let me at her, where is she?" And there donned with her famous fur coat, tall Russian-like hat and red circular shades was Janis Joplin herself. "And there she is. The one female rocker better than me." She spoke as she came up to me.

"Oh no Mrs. Jop—"

"Ah-ah. Mrs. Joplin is not my name. Call me Janis baby girl." I blushed and she wrapped an arm around me and said, "You know, you and I aren't so different kid."

"How so?"

"Well we both struggled in our families and personal lives, got together with some male rockstars to form a partnership before splitting off to have our freedom. The only difference is, is that I wish I had your strength. I decided to call it quits with heroin being my way to kick the bucket."

"You were someone I did look up to. I mean yeah you had your struggles, but hell you didn't take shit from no one. When conservative minds at the time wanted you to do it their way, you said....."

"'Fuck you. I'm doing it my own way!'" She finished off which made the two of us laugh. "Yah know something baby girl, I like you. Promise me for Lady's night you'll do a song with me?"

"It would be an honor Janis." She smiled and hugged me tightly.

"Alright my darlings, may we have everyone's attention?" Freddie's voice soon spoke up as he was now standing on top of a table. Everyone looked up and as the boys of Queen stood up front Freddie continued, "First of all magnificent show all of you. So cheers my lovely darlings." Everyone of us raised our glasses in the air saying 'cheers'.

"We'd also love to specifically say a wonderful show for our newest arrival," Brian spoke up. He turned to me and extended his hand out for mine. I took it and he gently pulled me up front so that everyone could see me.

"Our beloved Rock Angel herself, (Y/n) Kline." Roger spoke up as he smiled warmly down at me.

"To the Rock Angel!" Deacy stated as he raised his cocktail glass in the air.

"To the Rock Angel!" Everyone choired at me. I bashfully smiled and said.

"Thank you, it was an honor to see most of you perform tonight, and it was great to perform with someone of you once again after so many years. I hope I have the privilege to perform with every single soul here." I said.

We then raised our glasses once more and the mingling and partying continued long into the night.

[lovesgonnabe]

Love Is Worth It Episode V - We Got The Pandemic Blues Under a New York City Skyline

Characters: Chris Evans x Maya Alonso-Evans (Black OFC)

Warnings: straight fluff, cursing, implied smut.

Word Count: 3485

Summary: What happens in NYC stays in NYC!

AN: The NYC Skyline prompt is by @iguessweallcrazyithinktho thank you so much for letting me use your theme I hope I did it justice. If you haven't read any of her stuff what are you doing get on it!

Disclaimer: There’s only slight edits so there may be errors. Also if you haven’t noticed this series will have many time jumps and things referenced here may make more sense later on in the series when new episodes come out so please bear with me.

Taglist: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss, @canadian-girl87, @i-just-like-fanfics, @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful​ if you would like to join the taglist message me.

Please leave a note and tell me what you think!

June 13th, 2020

Being with Chris had its many perks but not working was definitely one Maya never wanted to take advantage of.

When Chris first brought it up when they got engaged she looked at him like he had two heads and said “I worked to hard put myself through school to get these expensive ass letters behind my name to just stay my ass at home” and that was the last time they had that conversation.

But fast forward to 2020 If you told Maya that she would have to close both of her dermatology offices in the middle of award season a few months ago she would have laughed at you.

She just couldn’t see herself not working because she loved what she does, but with both New York and Boston putting in place stay at home orders there’s nothing she could do.

It didn't help that it was only Maya in Boston dealing with work and all that entails, Delilah's up in the air school situation, and a whole hoax of things while Chris was in L A being as supportive of a husband and father as he could be on the other side of the country.

At least Dodger was being pretty normal.

Thanks to Chris's family for being so helpful where they could because for a minute Maya felt like she was beginning to drown.

This saga starts with the beginning of the pandemic.

January was chill there were whispers that there was a deadly pandemic on the horizon but no one took it seriously.

February Chris had left at the beginning of the month to LA to promote his new show Defending Jacob and it wasn't like anything out of the ordinary the couple worked, and called each other daily.

Chris told her he'd have to be there through March but would be home in time for Maya's birthday in April.

Her lawsuit against Boston PD was settled out of court for an undisclosed amount that was donated to charity and trust me that lawsuit cost them a pretty penny because Chris was threatening to go to the press and Boston PD did not need anymore negative press.

After finding out that the older officer already had many reports against him for abuse of power he was "let go" by Boston PD and the other officer was demoted to desk duty and sent Maya an apology letter for his actions

She thinks he only did it because her husband is Chris Evans but she tries not to be a cynic.

In mid March with her offices were forced to close and the lives of her twenty employees were in her hands, but sin there was no money coming in she had to regrettably furlough all of them until she could open back up.

This news could come at a worse time because Lilah's school was trying to transition them to online learning for the rest of the year.

So Maya now had to also be her home school teacher for the last 2 months before summer vacation .

Maya does feel blessed because she was still able to teach some derm online classes through NYU, and her family was healthy but Chris still wasn't home.

Because of travel restrictions in LA on April 1st Maya found out that the earliest Chris could be home was in possibly July or Mid June if they are lucky because he need to start filming for Grey Man that was set in Boston.

Then rumors started to swirl that Chris could be cheating on Maya but

She doesn't play that and isn't a dummy

Chris isn't stupid and

He's been in their home in LA quarenting with his brother Scott the whole time so if some foul shit did happen she would be the first one to know and on the first jet smoking to beat some ass.

But hey when it rains it pours.

In interviews Chris would say he was "quartining with his family at home in Boston."

They would try to make the spaces look just like Chris and Maya's homebase in Boston even going as far as strategically moving photos of them in the background to make it look like his office at home.

And it actually work most people thought Chris was in Boston anyways and it was all gossip the others thought he went back home to clean up this mess.

But nope Chris was not in Boston he was 2,764 miles away and this time it all just felt different and he hated not being able to be there with them during this crazy uncertain time and Maya just needed a vacation.

In April Maya and Delilah just had dinner at the house for her birthday they facetimed Chris and once Liliah had gone to bed Chris and Maya had sexytime over the phone.

The rest of the month Maya just went with the flow and did the same through June.

Now we are all caught up and in the present day.

It's Chris's 39th birthday but he was still in LA.

Maya stayed up to call him at midnight in LA because that was their tradition but now it was about 12pm and Chris has not picked up any of her phone calls Maya was annoyed.

Maya and Delilah sat in the Den as Maya was detangling Delilah's freshly washed hair getting ready to put her curly hair into braids as Mulan played on the tv in front of them.

"Mommy can I call dad it's his birthday and I haven't got to talk to him today. Lilah says playing with Maya's phone.

"Go ahead sweetheart maybe you'll have better luck them me." said Maya as she sectioned Lilah's hair.

As the facetime ringtone went Dodger who was laying in his dog bed next to Lilah began to bark and then he ran for the front door Maya looked that way but didn't see anything since the alarm didn't go off either which she found strange.

She shrugged it off only for a second until she heard a bag hit the ground as she quickly stood up the only thought in her head was to protect Delilah helping her to hide under the couch.

As the person entered their den Dodger continued to bark and she grabbed a pair hair scissors about to attack the intruder until she saw his face and exhaled the breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"CHRIS you scared the shit out of me" she said before he could say anything.

He laughed "Baby I didn't mean to scare you" Chris said

Lilah screamed and crawled from under the couch.

"daddy, daddy, daddy I missed you and Happy Birthday." Lilah said running into Chris's arm.

"I missed you to babycakes you been taking care of mommy for me" Chris said holding Lilah and walking towards a still shocked Maya.

He kissed Maya's forehead trying to pull her into a hug but she rolled her eyes and pushed his hand away.

"Chris i thought you weren't coming home till July" Maya asked

Chris shrugged "plans change now are you gonna come and give daddy a kiss you what"

He said flopping on the couch with Lilah on his lap.

Mays sucked her teeth peeked his lips and told Lilah to come so she could finish her hair.

Her saltiness cause Chris to laugh as Lilah moved over to her mom.

They were sitting on the same couch so Chris bent over and began to whisper in her ear. "Stop acting like that baby I wanted to surprise you"

Maya gave minimal response and Chris didn't like that so then he brought heat.

When he walked Maya had on a beige short set the top was fairly tin and the shorts barely covered her ass, he could see her nipples stand at attention on her delicious breast when walked.

It's been 3 months since he's had sex with his wife and boy can he feel it. He gave her tigh a firm squeeze now pecking her spot behind her ear forcing Maya to stop mid greasing Lilah's scalp to take a deep breath.

"if you stop acting up tonight I'll do that thing with my tongue that you like if not daddy won't be letting you cum at all tonight.

Chris said moving his body back to his original position smirking at his shooken up wife whose attitude did a 180 quick, fast and in a hurry.

Chris was no home and with his girls and he couldn’t be any happier.

After braiding Delilah's hair Maya went and they dropped her off at Chris’s moms which was a fight in itself because she wanted to stay with her daddy but Maya had other plans.

The original plan was to take Chris out of the country for his birthday but plans change.

Before Chris showed up today Maya had nothing planned for Chris's birthday because he was not suppose to be home they were just going to the same thing they did for her birthday.

On there way back home my had an idea with there hands intertwined Maya began to speak.

“So birthday boy what do you want to do for your birthday” Maya asked

“You know I don’t care as long as I’m with you my love” Chris said kissing her hand.

Maya giggled “Well we’ve dropped Dede at your moms and Scott said he could take Dodger”

She states looking at the puppy through the rear view mirror as Chris began to rub is thumb over her knuckles.

“It seems you already have a plan for us babe” he smirks

“I know you are just getting home but how about we drop Dodger off and I was thinking maybe drive to New York, I need to get out of Boston and have a bit of a staycation”. She said.

Chris chuckled and looked at Maya as the stopped at the red light.

“Wherever you lead I’ll follow. He said

“You are so corny old man” Maya laughed as she leaned over and peek his sweet lips.

They continued their drive to Scotts and talked enjoying eachothers company for the first time in a while, they were so wrapped up in each other that Dodger had to bark to remind Chris he was about to pass Scoots house .

Maya laughed at the puppy then pet him telling him how good of a dog he is.

“Alright birthday boy Scott has Dodger now let's switch its my turn to drive you around” She said.

They headed home to pick up a few things and then The Evans were off and headed for there trip.

After the 3 and 1/2 hour drive they got to New York and the barren streets shocked them.

They are staying in there penthouse apartment on the upper east side that over looks Central Park and New York's famous skyline.

Before settling in Maya decided to get groceries once she got back Jazz played softly in her ears as the punchy aroma of the candle Slow Burn hit her nose.

“Hey Chris I'm back” she called out to him.

She was met without a response just the smooth stylings of Frank Sinatra.

Maya put the groceries in the kitchen and headed to their master bedroom.

Kicking her shoes off and following the rose petals into the bathroom that revealed Chris who sat in all his glory in the pink tinted bathtub.

Apparently he did not hear her as his eyes stayed closed and his arms outstretched.

And all Maya could do was admire the greek god that was her husband.

His long wingspan encompassed the entire back of the tub as his strong biceps would flex ever deep breath he took. And don't to get Maya started on those baby blues which were one of the only things Lilah did not get from Chris. Those same blue eyes were now looking straight at her.

“I was hoping you’d be back soon” he said

Raising his head to look at his goddess of a wife smirking at him.

“So I’m guessing you would like me to join you?” She asked

Maya teased him as she began to slowly remove her clothes.

“Hey aren’t I the birthday boy that shouldn’t even be a question Maya so you better bring your sexy ass in here” Chris said to her as his arms still laid on the back of the tub looking like a king”

Maya stepped in with Chris’s help the warm water encapsulating her body as she sinks down.

She sighs in satisfaction when her body is finally completely in the water as she lays into Chris’s embrace.

They just sit there and enjoy each other company, washing the dirt off of each other from the day, and stealing kisses from one another.

Maya and Chris were that couple you loved to hate they didn’t show off their love that much with Chris’s anxiety and Maya’s destain for public scrutiny because she’s black woman with a man of Chris stature, PDA was mostly off the table. However behind closed doors they are the cutest most intimate couple you’d ever meet.

Once she was clean from her road dirt Maya left the water first placing a kiss on Chris’s lips as she headed to start dinner and Chris laid back and continued to relax.

Once Chris finally got out the bath he found Maya in the kitchen halfway finished with dinner.

“Jesus babe it smells fantastic in here and I see you changed the music” Chris said

He was now fully dressed in a blue t-shit in matching joggers, his hair damp from the bath as Lauryn Hill's rendition of Can't Take My Eyes off of You played in the background.

She chuckled “only the best for you my king”

"Mhm I like the sound of that" He said as he went in the fridge and grabbed a bottle of white wine and poured them both a glass.

She was at the counter cutting up veggies.

“Ok so how long do I have wait before I can devour all this?” he asked placing the glass in front of Maya.

They took their first cheers of the night tapping the glasses together.

Maya took a sip and moan at the taste of the wine.

“Soon Chris don’t stress it babe you will be fed very soon” she said.

Her hips began to sway to the music as she hummed along.

At long last, love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive

Chris walked up behind her wrapping her arms around waist swaying with her body and catching the rhythm.

You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you

Moving her hair to her left shoulder Chris begins to kiss her neck.

"Remember when we first bought this place." Chris asked

"Yes you didn't want to you said my place in Brooklyn was enough for us" Maya said putting the knife down and melted into Chris's strong arms.

"Mmm but you did an excellent job at convincing me why we need this place, 3 bedrooms right in the Heart of the city just for times likes these when want to get away." Chris said with his arms still wrapped around her.

She laughed "I thought it was because you fucked me against the balcony on our terrace is why you said yes"

He smirked at the memory "well that to"

Chris sucked on her neck and moved his down her satin dress but the timer on the pot decided to be a cock block and go off before he could make a move.

He groaned and Maya laughed directed him to get ready to eat.

Just as the food was finishing up Chris set the dining table for two, taking the rest of the flowers from his bath laying them out between the kitchen and there Terrence where they were having dinner overlooking the city.

It was a beautiful night. There was a soft breeze and the city was a glow quieter that usual but still a sight to behold.

Maya brought out the food as Chris poured them another glass, they both sat prayed then rose their glasses to cheers again.

During dinner Chris made some corny jokes that always seemed to put Maya in a better mood as Maya would slyly rub her foot up Chris’s pant leg.

Next came dessert still out on the terrace they shared a slice of cake (more like Maya fed Chris cake) which is how she ended up in his lap enjoying the very expensive yet immaculate view they had from their home.

He rubbed her thigh as he kisses her shoulder just thinking of the fastest way to get Maya out of her dress.

"god you are beautiful" Chris said

His hand now playing with the trim of her panties under her strappy white satin dress.

"Oh no birthday boy you not fucking me out here tonight you gotta come inside for your last present" Maya said.

Chris groaned Maya got up seductively waking back inside her curves just begging him to follow her

“This woman Is going to be the death of me” Chris thought as he came back inside and closed the door that lead to the terrace.

Maya handed Chris his third and final glass of wine of the night.

He raised an eyebrow "Are you trying to get me drunk Mrs. Evans so you can have your way with me?" he asked.

Taking a sip from his glass he smacked Maya the ass and watched it move as she walked towards their living room.

She laughed "I wouldn't have to get you drunk to have my way with you Mr. Evans"

Their living room had floor to ceiling windows that overlook Chris's second favorite city, and that's where Maya stood wine glass in hand looking all the people that looked like ants. But all Chris could think about was how this woman fell for him.

She watched the scenery and he watched her but when that signature trumpet blew he remembered that the music was still playing and so did she.

Maya turned around to see Chris was watching her one hand in his pocket and the other still holding his wine, she made a face at him.

"What are you looking at me like that Chris, you ok?” she asked hand on her hip taking another drink from her glass.

The moon shined off her skin like she was in the sun, her white dress reminding him of their wedding day the way it hugged her figure.

Still speechless Chris walked up to her placing both of their glasses on the coffee table, he brushed her hair behind her ear and she moans nuzzling her head in his touch.

"Baby I am absolutely perfect because I am here with you" he says.

Chris softly pulls her by the waist bringing her flush against her body as raspy voice of Louis Armstrong in Le Vie En Rose brought butterfly’s to Maya’s stomach because this was their song.

His hands lay softly on her waist as her arms lay around his shoulder as they dancer slowly around there living room.

Hold me close and hold me fast, The magic spell you cast, this is la vie en rose.

His cologne sent waves of pleasure and warmth through her body, when Maya laid her head on his chest not wanting to let him go. As their heartbeat became in sync the moonlight casted their sillones on the ground.

They were two lovers who were lost in eachother hoping to never get out and wanting to hide from the world it felt new but familiar.

Once the song ended Chris kissed her so deep and and passionately Maya thought she was gonna cum then and there.

Chris's hands moved from their previously respectable position making circle on her hips to the bottom of her ass telling Maya to jump causing Maya wrap her chocolate legs around his waist.

As Chris walked he kept repeating how much he missed Maya so much while he was in LA.

They couldn’t even make it back to their bedroom for their first round of many.

And Maya was a goner as Chris made love to her all night in every corner of their apartment as the city watched as the couple were engulfed with each other.

But there was a little voice in the back of Maya's head "Well damn how are we going to top 40 next year" it asked.

The preoccupied side of her brain shooed hat thought away so she could just enjoy being with her man at this moment.

Thanking god there was no more space between them like the miles before.

[etheraella]

The Lost Letter for Love

(Fred Weasley x Reader)

Summary : 10 years of friendship through letters, and being a hopeless romantic didn’t help you realise your feelings for your best friend, until it might be too late.

Warnings : MUGGLE!AU slow-burn, angst, violence if you squint, best friends-to-lovers, a few cursing you probably won’t realise.

Feet shuffling against the living room carpet, you finally let your body slump on the sofa with a sigh. The sound of wrinkling leather waves through the empty corridor of your shared house. You ignored it, knowing that one of your housemates (who also happen to be your best friends) might come huffing into the room for continuously abusing furniture. With the same occasion happening countless number of times that week, you expected them to grow tired of your mood swings.

You reached for the nearest cushion beside you, digging your fingers onto the sides of the rough object, before stuffing your face into it; rage burning in your chest for a peculiar Weasley. You lift your face from the cushion furiously, running your hands through your hair.

"Is it that hard for that git to take time and write to me?" you cursed under your breath.

You heard a scoff before lifting your head and meeting eyes with your friend, Delilah. She was leaning against the archway of the living room. "Go on, explain yourself." she said, walking to the couch beside you -- leaving a gap, knowing you might blow off any minute if bothered. Before you could reply, she shakes her head. "And don't lie to me, you've been acting like a maniac, plotting a murder for a week now."

"She probably is, It's been 3 weeks since she last received a letter from her long-distance boyfriend. Of course she's gone mad." You needn't turn around, knowing it was your other roommate, Sara.

"Fred." you say gripping the sweat-stained pillow and throwing it at her. "Is my best friend," pausing before adding "Nothing more," then leaning against the couch.

You bit your lip in frustration, pulling off a few loose threads from the hem of your sleeves in anger, "Be patient, Y/N," Delilah says, patting your back. "He might be busy with his shop or dealing with.. well, whatever he might be doing," You rolled your eyes, seeing the now sitting Sara looking at you, sympathetically.

"Well, he can do whatever the hell he wants for all I care. No actually--I don't care, they're just letters." You stood up and stormed up to your room. Shutting the door with a click, you hear muffled voices of your two friends, one of them saying "Wasn't she enraged three minutes ago".

You feel your head spinning before pulling out a specific letter from a wooden box and leaning against the desk. The words that were inked on the paper still enliven the butterflies in your stomach, even after you've memorised them. It was the last letter you received from him before his gifts came to an abrupt stop. You felt like a 16 year old teenager feeling giddy over a crush. Your eyes widen -- reminding yourself "NO Y/N, he's just a friend!" Suddenly remembering you weren't supposed to be 'caring', you cringed to yourself before shoving the letter back in the box weighing a heavy heart.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

You let your body fall against the soft mattress with a squeal, staring up the ceiling whilst clutching the new envelope up to your chest. Without realising the rapid rate of your heartbeat, you impatiently tore open the envelope and unfolded its content.

Dearest Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you in the best of spirits.

I deeply apologise for this delayed reply as I have been quite busy with the joke shop here. Formalities aside, I'm going to be making a few business arrangements in your town. George thought I should go instead of him, and I definitely agree with him. I can't wait to see you, and expect me to ring your house phone tomorrow to discuss. Sadly, I'd have to make this letter short, pumpkin.

P.S bring along that beautiful smile of yours when we meet.

Yours lovingly,

Fred G. Weasley

A smile forms across your face as you read his words, your heart doing summersaults. Before you could trace his signature, you hear a knock on your bedroom door. Sighing, you opened the door, seeing an eyebrow raised Delilah and Sara. Seeing your friends just makes you want to squeeze them in a hug of joy. The smile on your lips didn't falter as you tried forming words "I-"

"We know, Y/N." Delilah interrupted. "We guessed the moment you turned all giddy when coming home. You even fell from the entrance stairs! What'd he say?" Sara asked, smirking. You stared at them, the red mark on your ankle feeling suddenly obvious.

"He said he's going to be dealing with a few business things here. I think he's coming in a few days." You say, your smile growing wider as the words escape your lips. Fred and you have met before. Only, it was twice or trice a year from a long-distance decade of friendship.

Your friendship with Fred was a rather complicated story that even to you, seems a little cliche of how it started with a single complication.

A letter,

The letter had somehow mistakenly ended up to your address, knowing that a 'Hermione Granger' doesn't exist in your household. Being the hopeless romantic you are, you thought it was some kind of love letter so you tore open the letter and read it. In the midst of the paragraph, you feel a pang of guilt as the letter has only to do with family matters. You cursed yourself, and felt sorry for the sender and immediately returned the letter to the signed name 'Fred Weasley' with an attached paper for explanation.

A few days after, you received a letter a letter from him, this time with your name as the addressee. Fred apolagised and offered his gratitude for returning his letter, as it was his mistake for writing the wrong address after all.. And that ladies and gents, was the story on how your friendship was formed.

Although the two of you had exchanged numbers on paper, you fancied the idea of continuing to use the old method with letters, as it was a reminder of how the two of you had gotten to know each other. Fred had always been open about his family and business to you. The both of you admitted that you weren't romantically involved with anyone, but decided to leave that topic 2 years ago. Surely, if he was in a relationship, he'd let you know anyway.

The more often you and Fred exchanged letters, the more you felt a tinge of excitement as he expresses his life and thoughts to you, hoping he'd feel the same. Sometimes, you'd spend endless nights rereading a few old letters of his which you cherished in a wooden box, paragraphs memorised.

Fred took you to meet his family on the third year of your friendship, even Hermione who was Fred's future sister-in-law back then was there. Molly Weasley had sent you presents for Christmas since then, which contained her self-made sweaters. You wondered how much Fred mentioned you to the Weasleys.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

Later that week, Fred gave you a call, arranging your meeting for an evening. As soon as you saw the red-head arrive on your front door, you smiled and embraced him in a friendly hug. Fred, who was towering over you, looked the same as he always did; charming, with freckles painted on the bridge of his nose, enough to sway any girl’s feet.

"How's my pumpkin doing?" he grins, with a raised brow. You feel your face heating from the sound of his low-pitched voice calling the nickname he gave you 4 years ago. "I'm doing fine, Freddie." you said, returning his grin. The two of you immediately caught yourselves in a conversation on the journey. Clueless as to where Fred was taking you.

"Are you trying to kidnap me?" you scoffed jokingly, after the fourth time you had asked Fred for the destination while he was continuously refusing. "Pumpkin, I would have ordered someone to bring you to my hotel if I was." he winked, glancing sideways at you, making your cheeks blow bright pink in the shadow of the night. "But then again, I won't be kidnapping if I don't do it myself".

Finally, the two of you arrived at a coffee shop, "Is this the 'surprise', Freddie?" you asked him, getting out of the car.

"Not exactly." he smiles. The smell of baked muffins hit your nostrils as you enter the shop. Fred led you to a seat while you silently followed him, he stopped at a corner table next to a huge window, a girl with long black hair was already occupied.

"Y/N, I'd like to introduce you to Grace, my girlfriend." Fred turns to you with a prideful grin plastered across his face. "Darling, this is my best friend, Y/N." You felt your heart stop. Following his gaze, your eyes landed on the girl appearing to be his girlfriend, smile up at you, showing her pearly white teeth. Quickly pushing your overfilled thoughts away, you shook her hand, the room suddenly became insufferable. You forced a smile as you hesitantly took the seat opposite to them.

"Since, you're my best friend and all, I thought the two of you should meet." Even though he sounded as if it was meant for you, he didn't spare you a single glance. "Yes, Y/N. Seeing how much you meant to him and all." Grace smiled slightly, "I mean.. as friends." Grace added pressing the word 'friends'. You could’ve sworn you saw a sly look in her icy blue eyes, but shook it off, trying your best to act natural, smiling back at her sweetly.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

Every time you glanced at Fred, you felt a stinging pain in your chest; maybe you were just feeling protective over him? But does that include wanting to have him all for yourself, as selfish as it is? It felt wrong with the idea of loving your best friend, but it felt right loving him.

Regretfully, you felt like an idiot for not recognizing your feelings sooner and denying them. The missed opportunities you could have experienced if you had just revealed your true feelings to him whether it was on paper, on phone or even in person. Were you just scared of ruining your friendship?

Sara and Delilah noticed your change in behaviour when Fred’s name pops up in random conversations, until one night you burst into tears and poured your bottled-up feelings onto them. It didn't help matters when you and Fred met, the blue-eyed minkle always tagged along. When Fred wasn't around, she bared her venom-like teeth. "I've seen the way you look at Fred, I'm not stupid."

And from there onwards…

"You're too immature for Freddie."

…you started knowing her more than Fred ever will.

"The two of you have been friends for what? A decade? He's known me a year, guess we all know who he sees as his lover and who as a friend."

That last statement hurt enough for you to have to restrain yourself from slapping the smirk off her face as she said it. You tried your best to act normally in front of Fred, but you knew seeing them together was a pain too unbearable for you to handle, so you declined his hangout calls and started seeing him less and less.

The last thing you wanted was to destroy their relationship by breaking down in front of the person you cared for, and revealing Grace's true colours. Knowing Fred, he'd side with you and break up with Grace, but seeing them together made you realise how happy they were. Fred deserved the happiness Grace brought him. And you’re well aware that the feelings he shared with her were much more in depth than the ones he shared with you, because when he looks at her, his face says it all

.

.

.

A/N : Hi ! This is Luna, SO the ending wasn’t what I had in mind but overall, this story gives me victorian era vibes idk why lmao. OMG all my love goes to Celeste for helping me edit this, please reblog and comment if you like this fic :) We haven’t been active lately due to studying and all, but now we’re back with more fics. + taglist form up soon 🤝

[pretend-writer]

Down Below (Chapter 72)

Summary: After being sent down on Earth with the other prisoners from the Ark, Y/N Reyes faces series of events and learns about survival. With new things happening around her, she is now starting a new chapter in her life.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, John Murphy x reader, Raven Reyes x sister!reader

Word Count: 2k words

Warning: swearing, mention of death

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

It was hard to grasp why majority of us were in on staying in Sanctum. Call me paranoid but it was hard to trust someone who we barely knew; I mean look what happened with the grounders, Mount Weather, Diyoza and McCreary.

But Clarke always knew what was best for us right? She was the person we had to listen to because she kept us together, kept us sane and had our back throughout everything. Obviously Clarke knew what she was doing.

She knew it was a great idea to leave Raven, Marcus and Octavia outside when the radiation was going to kill us. Clarke knew to shoot me in the head when I tried to save them. She knew to betray her family and side with the enemy that was trying to kill them for the valley.

So it was such a great idea to listen to her to stay here. Not that we had a say in it at all.

Some of us knew that this was a terrible idea. They interviewed Clarke, horrible candidate to represent us, to show us that we were reliable to the community. That we were no harm.

But that was a lie wasn't it? All we've been doing since we landed on Earth was fight war one day after another. We've made enemies, soon joined clans but continued to kill each other. Who were we to tell them that we deserve to live with them.

Somehow, someway Russell and his people accepted us into their community. Don't know what lie Clarke pulled out of her ass but they were more than excited for us to stay with them. Too excited.

So enthused about welcoming us that they've invited us to attend their Opening Ceremony for "Naming Day", whatever that meant.

John and I sat together, watching everyone mingling and introducing themselves to our new "people."

'You know it's bad for your skin to crinkle your brows like that.' John laughed softly, watching me stress over these new people that we had to live with.

Looking over at Murphy, I rubbed my forehead as I tried to hide my facial expression. 'I'm sorry. Force of habit to not trust people, that's all.'

'Enemies wouldn't save lives. Matter of fact, I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for them.'

'Please don't tell me you're defending them.'

'Ah, no. It's just that-' He bit his lip as he gazed at the people. 'I don't know, it doesn't hurt to have a little hope. For us.'

My jaw dropped, 'John Murphy talking about hope? Wow, you must be a different person.'

He nudged me, 'I died, didn't I?'

'Not funny.'

'What? Too soon?' He chuckled a little until he saw that I wasn't joking. 'Aw, baby I'm sorry.'

The flashback of that moment still terrified me, the way he lied silently, not moving a muscle. 'I was scared that I was going to lose you.'

John smiled, kissing me on my temple as he wrapped his arm around me. 'I'm not going anywhere. Your sister calls me cockroach remember?'

'Right, the infamous cockroach.' I kissed his cheek, leaning into his chest.

As I look up I see Raven approaching us with a huge grin on her face. 'It's been a long, long time since I've seen you two cozying up like this. You two lovebirds need a room?'

'I think you should get Jordan a room.' John pointed at him flirting with Delilah, the girl that everyone was celebrating Naming Day for. 'Man, I bet Monty is so proud.'

As I was laughing at the joke, I saw Bellamy and Clarke talking in a serious tone then eventually hugging. I didn't know what they were talking about but my guess was she was apologizing for the billionth time about all the "mistakes" she had made.

Raven stood in front of my view, looking over me with her arms crossed in front of her. She was probably confused, assuming that I was staring at Bellamy for a different reason.

As I looked up and met my eyes with Raven, she shook her head. I continued to stare at her with a straight face, showing her that I didn't care about what he did, more so annoyed about what Clarke was doing. I didn't want to say that aloud, of course.

Besides, I was angry with Bellamy. I didn't give a damn about what he was doing. If he wanted to make amends with Clarke that was going to betray us again, he can knock himself out.

Speaking of the devil, I heard their voice getting closer. Knowing Clarke's voice from miles away, I rolled my eyes as she started to speak to us.

'The ceremony is about to start soon. Don't really know what we're supposed to do but it'll be good for us to attend.'

'Count me out.' I laughed sarcastically, 'You guys can have your fun.'

Clarke rested her hands on her hips, 'We don't want them to think we're being disrespectful right?'

'I don't give a damn about what they think about us. I never agreed to stay here anyways.' I stood up and approached Clarke. 'They were digging into our history, did you ever think to ask them questions as well?'

Bellamy cut in, defending Clarke. 'She's doing the best she can for our people. They've agreed to take us in and because of that, we have a home now.'

'Okay, so where are the rest of our people? Some are still in cryo and stuck in the ship, correct?' I shook my head, 'It's always whatever that's convenient for you. Not us as a whole.'

'Soon enough, we will bring them here. Right now, we just bring whoever can represent us as a whole and look the best we can.'

'Mhm.' I hummed, staring at Clarke as my thoughts went elsewhere. She brought Madi back, having Gaia by her side as she was trained to control the flame in her neck.

She only brought people who were convenient for her, using us as bait to make ourselves look good when in all reality was that we had a ugly history behind us.

Why couldn't she bring Indra? She was smart in these situations, great at communicating and talking with people. Matter of fact, knew how to handle and escape tough situations. Yet she brought Gaia with us; without her mother. Only to use her to benefit her "daughter", Madi.

The fact was that nothing that was coming out of her mouth made sense; if we were safe and welcomed into the family, why couldn't we bring the rest of our people? Why couldn't we start settling into this "wonderful" place if this was our home now?

'Clarke again with the bullshit. How long will it take for you to betray us this time?' A chuckle escaped my mouth. 'I'll be in here, away from these people while I enjoying the booze I haven't had in years.'

'Same here. I'm going to the bar.' Raven didn't bat an eye before she walked away. I followed her to the back, where the bar counter was.

Sitting down as I took a deep breath, I pouring my first shot. 'I probably should just go back to cryo, pretend that none of this is happening.'

'I hear ya. I'll join you if you actually mean it.' John jumped in, sitting next to me as he poured a shot as well.

'Do we really believe this crap? I mean come on, it's so obvious Russell or someone has something on Clarke.' Raven shook her head, taking a sip from her beer that she had before.

'Clearly, he didn't want us near Sanctum and now he's so welcoming. I agree, something is definitely not right.' I knew I sounded paranoid, but given the fact that Russell almost wanted nothing to do with us, it did sound a bit odd.

Raven looked at me with a smirk on her face. 'You want to snoop around? I mean no offense to them but I just don't trust them.'

Murphy raised his brows, 'The perfect Raven Reyes suddenly wants to be bad? Wow.'

'How is this bad? I need to make sure we're not falling into some trap.'

'I'm down for that. Whatever we need to do to keep us safe.' I smiled.

'Do we have to ruin this?' John sighed, 'I mean come on. We're in paradise right now. Let's leave it be for a few days, enjoy ourselves.'

Raven shook her head as she grinned, 'Okay now you're crazy. You want to turn down being bad?'

John nudged Raven, 'Leave me alone. Recently died here.'

I instantly looked over at him, Murphy noticed too because he apologized. 'I-Sorry Y/N. I guess it's just my way of coping. I'm sorry.'

'Yeah, I know.' I sighed, understanding his part but also sensitive to the subject. It hurt to see him like that and the flashbacks just drove me crazy.'

'This is why we need to keep it be, for now. Let's just enjoy this moment. Y/N, when was the last time you were relaxed?' John smiled, 'Let's go on a date, you and me.'

'A date?' I didn't know why but my mind went blank, what is a date exactly?

My whole life I was trapped in a metal box that was floating out of space, the life after that all I knew was fight and survival. I've never in my life never dreamed or even thought of a date. A moment to spend quality time with a significant other.

'What did you sound like that.' John scratched his head. 'I mean if you don-'

'No, no. It's just that, I've never even thought about any of that stuff.' My cheeks got warmer, I could feel myself blushing. 'I'd love to go on a date with you.'

His eyes widened, John's cheeks getting pink as well. Raven giggled, 'You two act like you haven't seen each other naked. Why are you guys shy all of the sudden.'

The joke made everything worse, our cheeks getting redder. I took another shot and then hit my sister, 'Okay stop with that!'

'What? It's true.'

Murphy rolled his eyes as he laughed at Raven, then turned back to me. 'Meet me in front of the staircase tomorrow night. The one that goes up to that palace, okay?'

I nodded, butterflies in my stomach as I was excited. It had been a long time since I've looked forward to something, hell, it had been a long time since I've been genuinely happy.

Bellamy's POV;

She was smiling, so beautifully and so happily. I haven't seen Y/N smile so genuinely since I left her on Earth. Now she was smiling, except I wasn't the reason behind that joy.

Reyes was done with me now, I knew all the reasoning behind it. Everything she had said about me was true; I was a hypocrite, I was a cheater, I was everything she didn't deserve at all.

Of course she left me for Murphy, he was good. He'd done a lot better in the Ring than I ever did. Hell, anyone up there did better.

Now, I deserve what had come to me. The love of my life with another man, me being miserable once again. But I couldn't complain, I deserve this. After hurting Y/N, not pulling her out of the struggle that she had been facing under the bunker.

She had called for help so many times, the silence but loud cries of suffering that I ignored. Not to mention the fact that I've pushed my sister away also; I didn't know why I was behaving the way that I was.

This time, I was alone. Facing these new strangers that we started sharing their spaces with, facing them by myself. No one wanted to be near me but Clarke. I didn't know how I felt about it, considering Y/N had really strong feeling towards her but it was better than nothing.

The fact of the matter was I had to do better, I had to win Reyes back and make her love me again. Go how it used to be, how it was supposed to be when she flew up to the Ring with us.

But I couldn't tell her my secret; Y/N couldn't know about the six years that happened with me while I was up there. She should never know.

[marmolady]

Homecoming: Part Two

Continued from PART ONE

Main Pairings: Estela x (f)MC, Graleister, Variego

Summary: Endless Ending. Back on La Huerta for the first time since the world's resurrection, there are some heart-to-hearts with old friends in order.

Word Count: 4680

Chronology: After 'The New Taylor' and 'A Ride to Remember', sort of midway through 'Inheritance'.

Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, @greengroove @mauvecatfic​

Thanks for reading!

“Howdy there, pilot. Have you thought of a name for her yet?” Taylor asked as she stepped into the cockpit, squinting as she adjusted to the bright light that shone through the large windows as they soared over the Caribbean.

“You comin’ in here to annoy me is just part and parcel of my La Huerta jobs now, ain’t it?”

“Oh, Top Gun, so sentimental,” she teased-- but really, like she could talk.

Jake rested his hands behind his head and looked out over a familiar green spot in the blue expanse, now fast approaching. “Well, she’s no ‘Delilah’, that’s for sure. If something comes to me, it comes to me. But like I say, it ain’t the same. It’s not as if you people are about to let me hide from the world with this baby as my only friend.”

“Damn straight.”

“Thought as much. Well, everything’s reading as normal; think we might make it, sans freaky storms this time.” Jake turned to his visitor with a smirk. “I’m still gonna want you to get your ass in a seat. A landing’s a landing.”

Safely in her seat-- Estela by her side, and little Fenix in a pet carrier tucked against the seat in the next aisle-- Taylor felt her stomach doing violent flip-flops as the green spot in the ocean came closer, beginning to take on detail. Rivers she’d bathed in snaking out to the sea, Atropo looming, and the now-abandoned Celestial-- still standing by all appearances unchanged-- in its shadow.

Estela was calm and quiet, contemplative as the small plane descended. So much about this journey was familiar, and yet, everything had changed. This time, marching towards her destiny wasn’t a lonely trail to a foregone violent conclusion; this time, the future was all a big unknown other than the fact that it would be anything but lonely. She wove her fingers with Taylor’s, feeling nerves flowing through, and gently squeezed.

“Almost there, querida.”

With a gentle bump, the plane was on the ground, and Taylor gave a small sigh of relief. She didn’t want to be rude about Jake’s flying ability, but until that point, she’d finished every ride with him in either a crash, a near crash… or plummeting into the sea. That she was something of a nervous flyer was, she thought, pretty damn reasonable.

In no time at all, the cabin door had been swung open, and the warm Caribbean air welcomed the small group home.

“And here I was worried I’d need to replace another plane. It seems the pilot can fly one of these things after all; that’s a fiver I owe you, Grace.”

“He of little faith,” Grace laughed, though it was quite clear she was at least somewhat giddy with relief. “Jake knows what he’s doing.”

No sooner had Taylor set her feet on La Huerta soil than a familiar figure was running towards her, streaking out of the cover of the foliage at the side of the runway.

“Diego! Ohmygod!”

Diego flung his arms around his friend and held her tight. Last he’d seen her, she’d only just clawed herself back from death’s door; Taylor was going to get hugged, and she was going to get hugged hard.

Estela set out into the humid air, immediately aware of the sounds of the jungle; insects and birds, rustling of leaves. Even the smell of the soil was distinctly La Huerta. She hadn’t expected to feel like this, but… she was home.

_____________________________

An almost comically deep miaow made Estela jump. Engrossed in what she’d been writing-- and the frustrated doodles she’d been swirling on a separate piece of paper-- she hadn’t noticed Taylor’s cat, Madam, joining her on the wooden bench outside their home.

“I must be making myself crazy, hey Mierdita? I guess you’re here to make sure my senses stay sharp… or you’ve come to complain to me about Nixie.”

“Mow.”

Estela giggled and scooped the little cat, presently bright orange in colour, though that was subject to change, and hugged her to her chest. It was nice to have the company. Taylor was down on the beach, catching up with Diego for the first time in far too long. And what Estela was doing… for the most part, she needed to be left in her own space to do it. The little cat might have been a distraction, but from the number of doodles Estela had scribbled, it looked as though her productivity had already peaked for the time being.

“You’ll just have to learn to forgive Taylor. You know she likes to surround herself with lots of friends.”

Madam nimbly climbed her way up onto Estela’s shoulder, and enthusiastically rubbed against her face.

“I’m glad I can make you feel better. I guess I wasn’t getting anywhere with writing this anyway….”

With a little sigh, she tucked the unfinished letter in her hoodie. She’d written so many letters to her mother-- one for every week she’d been working here on the island-- but to find the words to say goodbye, to get some kind of closure, did not come easy. Maybe with a little more time to think….

“Hello?”

Estela looked up to see Varyyn outside the front of the house. “Haalta, Varyyn. I’m round the side.”

With a low growl, Madam ducked down into Estela’s hood and pressed herself against her neck. She eyed their visitor with great suspicion from her perch.

“It looks like your little friend is happy to have you back,” Varyyn said as he approached, “--and less pleased to see me.”

“Don’t worry; she has a lot to say, but it’s all talk. She won’t bite.”

Varyyn, rather daringly in Estela’s view-- though he did regularly hang around with a hulking smilodon, so maybe he was just good with cats-- reached and tickled Madam under her chin.

“I have been wanting to find you,” he said. “Diego had told me you were preparing a memorial for your mother.”

‘’S a long time coming,” Estela grunted. “And maybe it’ll be a long time still; I don’t want to do anything extravagant, but it’s got to be right.”

“That is fair. I hope I am not disturbing you.”

“No, no. I don’t mind,” she said, gentler. “So long as it’s in progress. Finally. I couldn’t exactly get any kind of closure until I’d dealt with Rourke, and then… I needed to go home. I dunno… maybe it was easier to feel it as anger, because the sadness was too much to bear if I let it take its place. When I let myself really feel it….” A tear rolled down her face, and she brushed it away. “I don’t know if I can say I’m at peace with it all… I don’t think I ever really can be. But I’m better. I brought over the letters Mom sent me when she was here on the island, to bury. And I then thought of writing again… to say goodbye. All I’ve gotta do now is find the words. Anyway,” she finished hurriedly, “you wanted me for something?”

Varyyn nodded sagely. It wasn’t lost on him the intimacy of what was being shared. Perhaps the violent death of his own mother had given Estela a sense of tragic kinship with him?

“Seraxa and I talked at great length. It had… troubled me that there had been no acknowledgement of your mother’s sacrifice. She must have felt very alone standing against the Hydra, but we will not see that bravery forgotten now.”

He reached into his satchel, and brought out a neatly folded set of clothes.

“To wear the traditional uniform of our warriors is the greatest of honours. We wish to pay tribute to your mother as a hero to the Vaanti, if you will accept this gift.”

Estela’s eyes grew wide, and her bottom lip wobbled. “I--- um, thank you.” That’s the best you can manage? “I… don’t know what to say. Thank you.” In Varyyn’s nod of understanding, the look in his eyes, it was plain to see he felt the depth of her gratitude.

A gentle smile came to Varyyn’s face, as though he was relieved. “It is your choice whether you would like to wear this in her honour, or simply keep it as part of your memorial.”

Her cheeks flushed, Estela hugged the folded uniform to her chest. There were just… no words to adequately say what the gesture meant. For Estela’s own protection, any trace of Olivia Montoya’s connection to Everett Rourke had been wiped from record; and with it, all evidence of the courageous last stand taken. But here she was remembered.

“I don’t think I’ve told you…,” Estela choked out after a little while. “I mean, it’s not as if I’m the best conversationalist… I don’t know what to say to people half the time.” She shook her head. “But, anyway, I always found you impressive. When your mother died… it was sudden, and brutal, and somehow you had the strength to honour her by taking up her mantle. Immediately. And you always seemed so together, however much you were crumbling on the inside. You had to be.”

“I had good friends to lean on. And I had Diego.” Varyyn chucked darkly. “It is terrible, but when you all came back through the gate, as much I was very sad for you all, and for Diego, that everything you knew and loved was gone… there was a very selfish part of me….” He stalled.

“Fair enough,” Estela said, not about to force him to finish a clearly uncomfortable sentence. “It had only been a couple of days. How’s anyone supposed to bear that much loss? While carrying the expectations and fears of your people? Diego gave you comfort when you needed it most. And… then you gave him the same.”

“Yes.”

Having that shoulder; it made all the difference. It made living through the worst of horrors bearable, and then, somehow… it made the act of living on, in hope, possible. Varyyn had Diego. She, Estela, had her Taylor. And they all had one another.

“We’re lucky we found the right people.”

___________________________

As she slogged through the soft white sand, Taylor wasn’t sure what was going to give out first, her legs or her lungs. Using her best friend’s hand as an anchor, she kept on putting one foot in front of the other.

“Hey, Taylor, you know, it might be easier to have a real conversation if we sat down for a bit.”

Diego was polite and tactful, but what he meant was clearly; ‘You are an absolute wreck; sit down before you put yourself in an early grave’.

Taking the hint, Taylor flopped down heavily, squinting against the bright sun as she tried to get herself comfortable. While she struggled to get her breath back, Diego sat himself down close by, patiently letting her recover.

“I swear the beaches in San Trobida aren’t so much of a work-out,” Taylor said apologetically. “Not as soft. I have actually gotten a lot fitter, if you can believe it.”

Diego put a hand on her shoulder. “I can actually. You did a pretty good job of covering up how much you were struggling those last few days you were here, but I really don’t think you were fooling anyone. You do look better. Last time I saw you, it was hard not to get the impression that one stiff wind could have you over.”

Taylor snorted with laughter. “Damn, and I thought I put up a good front.”

“Not remotely. You are incredible, my friend, but a talented actor you are not.”

This was wonderful. The warmth of the sun of her body, and the easiest of company. Taylor reclined back, her arms propping her up in the sand from behind.

“Well, now that I’m not having to focus on not falling over… how’ve you really been?”

Diego stared wistfully out to sea, all the while playing with a little lock of his hair that Varyyn had braided for him. “’How have I really been’ as in not the brush-off, ‘oh, I’m good’ answer?”

“Yep. And I promise I’ll keep my own bullshit in check as fair trade.”

“Okay. If that’s how we’re doing this.” Diego fiddled with his hair for a little while longer as he contemplated his answer… and where to start. “I’m good.” As Taylor rolled her eyes, he added quickly; “ I am good.”

“Yeah?”

“Going back home was the best thing I could have done; it made me realise just how much I actually belong here. I’ve found my people. And Varyyn. I don’t have to tell you how cut up I was to be away from him; you could see it. Heck, even Grandma Bhandarkar saw it-- I have never been force-fed so much in my life, and I grew up with my abuela!”

Taylor chuckled. She was eternally grateful that the extended Catalyst family had been there for Diego when she couldn’t be, through one of the most pivotal periods in his life. “Did you… did you manage to talk to your parents at all?” she ventured gently.

With a sad smile, Diego shook his head. “I called from Raj’s place. I did speak to my dad, and honestly it was better than I expected. But he said Mom’s not ready.”

“Oh, Diego….”

“No, I knew she wouldn’t be ready.” He gave a little sigh. “That big, scary conversation’s done now, though, and I feel kind of… lighter. Like… I can start to accept how things are. If Mom and Dad were ever going to accept who I am, you’d think the year and a half I’d disappeared off the face of the earth would have done the trick.”

Taylor put an arm around Diego as he sniffed. “You know it’s all them, yeah? None of this is on you.”

“Yeah… I know. I came back here and… Varyyn just looked at me like I was the most beautiful person in the world. I could not have felt more loved. So, yeah-- I’m good.”

“So,” Taylor said gently, “what happens next? Do you still want to come back to Hartfeld with us in September?”

Diego huffed out a long exhale. Now, that was a question.

“The only really honest answer I can give you is… I don’t know. Could not be more conflicted.”

“That’s… that’s fair.”

“I keep thinking about that vision we saw when I took my action figures from Vaanu.  I didn’t think it was possible for me to be that comfortable in my own skin, but it wasn’t like I was just seeing it-- I could feel it.”

“Yeah. It was kind of, just… radiating off you. You were just one-hundred percent genuine Diego, no holes barred… and everyone just loved you for it.”

“Look, I know that whole thing was just Vaanu trying to manipulate you into sacrificing youself--”

“Diego--”

“No, it’s okay. Because even if that’s all it was, it doesn’t matter. The more time I’m here with Varyyn… and people are respecting me as me-- you should see the queues of kids that form when I re-tell the original Star Wars trilogy….”

Taylor chuckled fondly.

“...The more I realise that, actually, that could be me. If I wanted it.”

“That really could be you. Without a shadow of a doubt. It would just mean…”

“Leaving Varyyn? Shattering both our hearts into a million pieces? Yeah, that’s the sticking point.”

Putting her head on Diego’s shoulder, Taylor offered what support she could. “What… what does he think?”

“He really loves me, so he’s unhelpfully understanding about the whole thing. It would be so much easier to know what I should do if he’d just say he’d rather I stay here!”

“So inconsiderate.”

“But, well, he said how much I light up when I talk about what I saw in that vision. And he lights up when he talks about that,” Diego said with a resigned laugh. “He says if I stay here, I shouldn’t be giving up every part of me.”

“He’s right,” Taylor said. “It’s you he fell in love with, and it’s you the hordes of Vaanti children seek out whenever they need smiles put on their faces. One way or another, I think you should always feed the real you. ‘Cause that guy’s pretty great.”

Diego glanced away, bashful, but unable to hide his smile. Again, he started playing with his hair.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough, Taylor. How about it’s your turn. Do you have a plan? I guess Vaanu didn’t bother showing you what a future on Earth could look like, hey?”

Taylor gave a soft humph. “No, they certainly did not. That’s something I’m just going to have to figure out myself.” She frowned. “They just showed me enough to put the pressure of ensuring the happiness of everyone I love on my shoulders,” she said bitterly.

Catching her tone, Diego raised an eyebrow. “That’s really getting to you.”

“Yeah,” she heaved. For a moment, she considered what she wanted to share. “Look, I haven’t exactly talked about this before…. All those visions I saw, just about all of them showed you guys rocking your dream careers. Except for, well….” She trailed off, sadly.

“Except for Estela and Aleister, right? Now you mention it, that does kinda say a lot about the impact Rourke had.”

“Exactly. It makes me so… so angry,” she said, than added with a dry laugh, “I don’t have the energy to be angry. Seeing you all die in my dreams doesn’t help either; all I can think is that he did all that. ”

“So, you’ve put it out there now. Maybe that’ll help you move past it?”

“I sure hope so. Letting that fester isn’t going to be healthy for me, and it sure as hell won’t do Estela any favours. She’s been amazing. There’s been so much she’s had to move through. I think I’ve been so focused on her that it only just recently sank in how much I’m simmering in hate for that bastard. And I don’t want to let it out and feed into her own feelings. Does… that make sense?”

“That sounds pretty natural,” Diego assured. “Being protective of your family is pretty much wired into you; kinda makes sense that it would get you all fired up-- and that you want to shield Estela from even more hurt and anger. I’m here, you know. If ever you need a best friend to off-load on; I’m your man.”

“Thanks,” Taylor said softly, and boy, did she mean it. A little smile came to her face at the sound of Furball yipping as he chased a euphoric Fenix up and down the shoreline. Bad feelings passed quickly, for there was just too much beauty in the world she had fought for and won.  “All things considered, I’m doing really well. Since I ramped up the self-care, I’m getting less nightmares-- I know they’re not proper nightmares, it’s just my brain replaying memories that aren’t even all mine. But they’ve gotten better.”

Diego shook his head, incredulous. “Honestly, I don’t know how you managed to sleep with that going on at all.”

“With great difficulty is how,” Taylor laughed. “Poor Estela is now pretty used to me waking her up, screaming and crying.” She smiled softly. “I don’t know what I’d do without her; she has this magic way of just… chasing away all the horrors. I guess it’s because I feel safe when she’s holding me.”

“N’aww!” Diego’s eye twinkled. “I really am the best wingman around. I’ll happily accept tips for match-making services given.”

Taylor snorted. “I feel like we can take some of the credit, but fine, thanks for the help. I’ve seen hundreds of different versions of me and Estela falling in love… and it’s surprising how many times it was you who gave me the push.”

“So, you really do owe me one.”

“I really do.”

Fenix ran over, panting heavily, and flopped down into Taylor’s lap. A little way behind, Furball trotted after.

“Hey, Diego?”

“You’re missing your buff wife?”

“That, and I’m absolutely starving. You wanna head back to Catalyst Village?”

Diego looked out at the darkening sky. This day had flown. No doubt, the days to come would fly too, and in no time at all he’d be faced with leaving Varyyn… again. Then his stomach growled loudly.

“Apparently, you’re not the only one. Come on-- d’you need a piggy-back?”

Indignant, Taylor plopped Fenix down in the sand and got to her feet. “I certainly do not.”

“Okay… reframing that. Would you like a piggy-back?”

Ooh, that smirk. “Oh, all right,” she relented. “In the time it would’ve taken me to walk back, I’d have already died of hunger.”

So, they made their way back up the beach; Diego giving a more-weary-than-she’d-care-to-let-on Taylor… and their two furry companions leading the charge, drawn home by the scent on the wind of food being cooked over an open fire.

___________________________

“A toast!” Aleister pronounced loudly, holding aloft a glass of Breath of the Moon. As his friends and family around the fire raised their matching cocktails, he thrust his own glass ever-higher with slightly-tipsy gusto. “To new beginnings! To reuniting with comrades! To bringing about justice!”

Estela leaned over and whispered in Taylor’s ear. “You see why I thought you should only take a little sip of this stuff?”

Taylor sniggered. “I’d make a toast to the fact that we have a whole house to ourselves again.It’s gonna be a lot easier to get our sex on when your brother and sister-in-law aren’t in the next room.”

Giving her wife an exaggerated wink, Estela huddled closer, delighting in the giggle she stirred. Somehow, everything felt easier here. It was is if just to be in this place brought her back to the best of herself, to the sense of peace within herself that had once felt like an impossibility. Now, with Taylor, in their home and surrounded by people they loved, it was an inevitability. This time would refresh her-- it would them both-- and ready them for the greater steps that lay ahead.

It seemed the feeling was catching,for everyone was relaxed and laughing as they cooked skewers over the crackling fire and sipped their cocktails. In the firelight, Varyyn’s face seemed to glow with affection for his beloved husband beside him-- who himself was bubbling over with the simple pleasure of being surrounded by friends. Estela wondered about the two of them… what the future might hold. A year could go by so quickly-- she learned that the had way when she’d been counting down to Taylor’s self-sacrifice-- but away from the one you loved, time would stretch agonisingly. She did not envy the choice Diego was faced with; that they were now with him to offer support though that… that mattered.

Opposite them, Jake was back to ribbing Aleister, something even more fun now that the target was a little sozzled. No amount of back-and-forth teasing could hide the genuine --rather unlikely-- friendship that had formed; Aleister, blessed with both wealth and contacts in high places, had made himself a pivotal force in the fight to clear Jake’s name. The more Estela had gotten to know her unexpected sibling, the more it became obvious to her that at his heart, Aleister was driven by the same protectiveness of those dear to him that powered her. It was something, she’d come to realise, that Rourke had cemented into them both-- not through any passing of genes, but by fierce resistance to the poison he’d inflicted. It had taken time… and it had been painful, but in their budding kinship, Estela had found undeniable comfort.

Taylor took Estela’s hand, and laid a weary head on her shoulder.

“Hey.”

“Hey, you,” Estela laughed softly. She could feel the smile on Taylor’s face; so open and radiant, full of tenderness for the people surrounding her, and it spoke wonders.

With her free hand, Taylor gently chinked her glass to Estela’s.

“Cheers. To being home.”

“To being home.”