#ship: devoted to you

[irishhills]

parasitic plant

There’s mistletoe in the doorway of his parents’ kitchen, and Chris is acting like a real jerk about it. As he and Blair hang out in the kitchen, eating all the butter cookies so that Luke can’t bogart them again this year, he can’t seem to shut up about the mistletoe.

“I don’t understand what the big idea is,” he says. “We learned about this in biology. Mistletoe is just a parasitic plant. Everyone’s freaking out about a parasite.”

“It’s Christmas,” Blair says. “It’s part of what people do.”

“Yeah, but should they?”

He breaks a wreath-shaped cookie in half and pops it into his mouth. Anything to keep from explaining himself. Blair gets so angry at him these days. He’s not even sure what he’s doing wrong. Chris swallows the cookie and prepares for his spiel.

“It’s like this,” he says. “Mistletoe is a parasitic plant, just like love becomes a parasite.”

“Love is a parasite?” Blair asks, getting angry again.

“Yes. Well, romance, anyway. One person decides it’s a good idea, and suddenly, it’s like they can’t see anything else. And then they give it to everyone. It’s contagious.”

“I think you might be mixing your metaphors. Better keep that in check, writer.”

Chris rolls his eyes and eats the other half of the butter cookie. It never used to be like this between him and Blair. They’ve been best friends since Blair transferred to St. Elizabeth in fourth grade. Best friends. Practically joined at the hip. Then … shit, Chris doesn’t know what happened in the past two years. When he grew taller, and Blair stayed the same, they stopped fusing. They’re still together all the time, but it’s different. It’s …

The only word Chris has for it is taut.

“Look, I’m gonna prove to you that this is just parasitic nonsense,” he says.

“How so?”

He pulls Blair to the doorway … under the mistletoe … and kisses her.

This is not like their first kiss when they were in the seventh grade. This is more purposeful, the kind of kiss you share when you’re pretty sure you’re grown up. It’s not raunchy – Chris only knows the dictionary definition of that word, not the embodied one – but it’s something. He can feel it. But that can’t be. This is Blair, and they’re best friends.

When he pulls away, it’s not easy to play it cool.

“See?” he says. “Parasitic nonsense.”

Blair wipes her mouth, but Chris is pretty sure she doesn’t want to.

“Right,” she says.

They don’t speak of it for the rest of the night.

(part of @nosebleedclub march challenge -- day 23!)

[tokenducks]

Charles “We’ve got literally forever to figure out what the rest means” Rowland

[evercelle]

I love ur soft Feixiao polycule art SO MUCH and now I’m kinda interested in seeing the diagram you mentioned in the tags of one of them?/nf

ok this is for u and the other anons who asked. be prepared for my red string conspiracy board level brain vomit ship thesis: feijiaomo edition, or: destruction and devotion, romantic stylez

[starry-bi-sky]

Okay so this is almost a direct copy-paste of my earlier reblog but only the Xin Yuan parts, because its long enough to be its own post and i want to share it! It deserves it's own post <3 typical starry stuff to write a 2k word long reblog, unfortunately.

I say almost because I went through to proof read and ended up adding more stuff.

I've been cooking on this idea for the last two days since I saw the Xin Mo!Shen Yuan post but??? I can't find anything on Xin Mo's backstory or how it came to be -- which means that's free fucking plot right there baby. That's a sandbox and im making LIFE SIZED CASTLES. I'm so excited.

The idea of Shen Yuan transmigrating centuries before the events of PIDW as Xin Mo -- but when he wakes up, he's not the sword. He wakes up in the body of a young boy named Xin Yuan. Now it makes sense for this boy to be a demon, but the drama, the intrigue, the spice of Xin Yuan being a human child.

SY wakes up as a boy below the age of ten, and the System tells him where he is, and SY is excited to meet his favorite protagonist -- only to gradually realize that he's like, a thousand years or so before the events of the novel. The rant he gives the system is legendary.

Bc what's the point of getting dropped into PIDW if he's never going to meet his favorite character??? This is a scam! BUT he settles into his new life, he's like, some orphan street rat or some other tragic airplane-esq backstory.

The system gives Shen Yuan his first mandatory quest: become a righteous cultivator. Which was like, kinda his plan/hopes anyways, except! There's like?? No official cultivator sects anywhere? The Cang Qiong Mountain Sect hasn't even been established yet, and there are pockets of cultivators running around, maybe some groups or schools popping up and then sinking back down, but nothing's really taken root!

If he asks someone how to become a cultivator, there's no straight answer. No "oh you can go to X to do that". He's pissed! How can he become a cultivator if there aren't any schools around to teach him? Deus ex machina, that's how.

Out of sheer luck, SY manages to help save a rogue cultivator, and promptly gets adopted by said rogue cultivator, who gives SY the name 'Xin Yuan'. He is ecstatic. And you know what? It's actually pretty fun!

He's getting to travel the world of PIDW in its early stages, and gets to see the building blocks for the eventual main story. He's discovering all this local flora and fauna that are foreign to his old world and unmentioned in the book, and he's learning cultivation! Granted, its unsafe, newly(ish) discovered cultivation, but it counts!

Wistfully, he thinks about perhaps he'll do something grand and get his name carved into legend. Something that would eventually help the protagonist later down the line in his quest for revenge.

The system remains silent to his thoughts.

But Xin Yuan doesn't take much stock in that daydream anyways. It's nothing more than fantasy to him; wish-fulfillment. He does discover however, that he is positively brimming with spiritual energy. Overwhelmingly so.

It's both a blessing and a curse, as it puts a strain on his meridians if he's not careful, and leaves him prone to qi deviations for the exact same reasons. He already has a heart demon or two from a few traumatic experiences in the past.

(bc hey! angst a day keeps the writer sadism at bay, and all that)

I'll say he's about... eight when he gets picked up by the rogue cultivator, who I'm calling Lin Kai bc he deserves a name. They travel around PIDW up until Xin Yuan is twelve, where he goes through a traumatic experience that results in a heart demon.

It's after that that Lin Kai decides to put a stop to his wandering, and find a place to settle down to raise Xin Yuan in. Coincidentally! They settle down in a nice mountain region that's thriving with spiritual energy. The mountains at the time were called something different, but they will be eventually known as the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect

Coincidentally, the mountain Lin Kai and Xin Yuan end up on is Qing Jing Peak. XY does not realize that the mountain he's on is Qing Jing. The System does not tell him. But he likes it there, more than he was expecting. And as much as he's traveled around, he really does enjoy being in one place.

He has a tendency to go down the mountain and help the village setting up down there, and when he's a teenager he starts venturing out more and more.

Xin Yuan forgets sometimes that he's in a novel, especially after settling down on Qing Jing peak. The system becomes remarkably quiet since there's no quests for him to do and not a ton of opportunities to get B-Points. He cultivates with Lin Kai, helps tend to the garden they're growing, goes down to the village to play with the other kids.

There's one boy he's best friends with, a boy whose not all that good with words, named Liu Zhihao. He's got potential for cultivation though, so Xin Yuan drags him up the mountain when he can so that Liu Zhihao can sit in on lessons with Lin Kai. He drags him all over the forest at the foot of the mountain to go look at bugs and animals.

(One time, when they're fourteen and Liu Zhihao has been learning cultivation for a few years now, Xin Yuan drags him out of bed late one night to go look at the stars. Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao about ascension -- something that still feels like a far off dream to many in this time -- that night, while they're sitting on the wet grass.)

("We should ascend together." Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao, jade eyes gleaming. Never let it be said that Xin Yuan doesn't love deeply, no matter what kind of love it is. He was always so lonely as Shen Yuan, Liu Zhihao is his best friend. "We'll become immortals, and then we won't ascend until the other is able to.")

(Liu Zhihao stares at him silently, his face unreadable. Then, quietly, he asks; "Promise?")

("Promise.")

When he starts adventuring outwards, further away from the mountain and the village, Liu Zhihao sticks to him like rice. Not that Xin Yuan's complaining, that's his best friend after all, and Liu Zhihao has become a formidable cultivator. He deserves to show off his skills.

He starts making something of a name for himself by the time he's, like, 18 -- although that name is in its baby steps, along with Liu Zhihao. They're slowly growing renown.

Perhaps XY uses his knowledge of PIDW and cultivation in general to help make advancements in the cultivation field. Although the system prevents him from sharing too much, it doesn't mean he can't practice it himself. Perhaps he's one of the first cultivators to develop a golden core. One of the first known immortal cultivators. One of the first to have a spirit sword.

(Although I don't know the logistics of any of this since my knowledge on xanxia/cultivation stuff in general is all still pretty new and google wasn't all that helpful lol.)

Either way, its my excuse to eventually make Xin Yuan come across as ethereal to other people. Peerless beauty SY for the win. Hs wifebeam is too strong, Xin Yuan has a line of suitors following after him and he's completely unaware of it. The rest of history is not.

Demon realm stuff has been stirring up since Xin Yuan was a kid, but at the time it was rare and in the beginning stages. Its been steadily ramping up and the system is sending him on more and more treacherous quests -- some of them mandatory, some optional. SY doesn't often take the optional ones unless it comes with a sufficient B-point reward.

for all intents and purposes though, he's a wandering rogue cultivator with Liu Zhihao, going from place to place to either help a town or village, or to discover more creatures or artifacts (although there aren't that many). Just all around living his life. He participates in a few major quest lines that are sure to get him mentioned in legend, even if it's a background character way.

(Unbeknownst to him, rather than being a side character in these legends, he's named directly. You can't become one of the first immortal cultivators and NOT get name dropped for clout.)

He has a spirit sword named Shā Mó, (杀 shā - to kill/weaken/counteract/reduce) (魔 mó - evil spirit, demon, possession). He routinely goes back to QJP to see Lin Kai, or to rest when traveling has worn down on him and he wants nothing more than to sleep somewhere he knows he'll be safe in. It becomes more frequent as Xin Yuan becomes more famous. Liu Zhihao often comes with him.

it all comes to a head though when the rifts between the demonic realm and the human realm become too great, and the balance between both realms becomes unstable. A demonic emperor's influence, wanting to merge the two realms so he could conquer both to satiate his own greed.

Typical evil king stuff. This comes to a climatic head in a great battle between every cultivator available and the demon emperor's army. Xin Yuan was one of the many who helped lead the charge.

In the end, it was Xin Yuan who ends up defeating the demonic emperor, but the rift that the emperor used to cross between worlds is destabilizing as well. Except instead of trying to close, it's getting bigger and bigger, threatening to swallow the heavens and earth and demonic realm whole.

You know how Yue Qingyuan's soul is bonded to his sword due to a qi deviation? Let's take it a step further >:)

Xin Yuan uses himself and Shā Mó to close the rift. However, it takes all of his spiritual energy to do so, as well as him filtering the demonic qi into his body to redirect it back to the demon realm.

In the end, Xin Yuan and his beloved sword Shā Mó fuse. Xin Yuan's soul becomes trapped in the sword. His physical body is unable to handle the immense amount of power it takes to close the rift, and is destroyed. He is immortalized in legend by his grieving cultivators.

(Liu Zhihao ends up ascending alone. He ascends with the hope that one day he'll see Xin Yuan again, even if it's in the face of someone else. Lin Kai does not ascend, too weighed down by the grief of losing his son.)

Xin Yuan, now Xin Mo, falls into a stasis. He's very confused and disorientated when he regains 'consciousness'. The system has been silent for most of his life, only popping up to give him mandatory quests, hints, points, or to answer any questions.

But once he wakes up, it cheerfully pops up again, congratulating him on completing the origin story of Xin Mo. SY freaks the fuck out. he'd shake the system screen if he could, but he doesn't have arms. or legs. or eyes for that matter.

He can sense his surroundings, but its all like imprints to him. He can sense the energies, but he can't see anything. It's all very disorientating and horrifying after years of being human. Like a sensory deprivation chamber.

The closing of the rift and the cycling demonic qi tainted both Sha Mo and Xin Yuan irreparably, and it did some kind of damage that resulted in SY needing to feed in order to use the spiritual powers. Kinda like how Xuan Su uses YQY's life force for it's spiritual energy, but instead of feeding on his own lifeforce, Xin Mo feeds on others.

The rest is history. Xin Mo is originally tied to the story of Xin Yuan -- believed to be all that remained of the man after he sacrificed himself to keep the realms separate. It's believed that the force of the realms closing permanently infused Sha Mo with demonic energy, turning it into Xin Mo.

But, like many stories do when faced against the tide of time, things get lost; chipped off; changed. Xin Mo is steadily separated from Xin Yuan, especially once it becomes clear how parasitic the sword really is, until they are all but separate entities themselves and the origin of Xin Mo's creation all but forgotten.

The years blur together when Xin Mo is not being wielded, and at first Xin Yuan was agonized by the fact that he stole the lives of all his wielders. He knows it's only a novel, but his decades spent in this life have softened him, and he's grown attached to the world around him.

But time erodes the mind like water erodes stone, and he becomes numb to it, then eventually anticipating of it. He forces himself to remember what he knows of PIDW's plot, and kinda fixates back on his old obsession on Luo Binghe. But while PIDW stays in his mind, his memories as Xin Yuan fall to the wayside.

Not forgotten, per se, but... tucked away. The system prevents him from forgetting fully.

Xin Mo isn't fully a demonic sword either i think, but instead harbors an ugly cocktail of both spiritual and demonic qi. Special circumstances and all that. Everyone just assumes he's a fully demonic sword because that's usually at the forefront, his spiritual qi weakened from the initial fusion and from years of not being fed spiritual qi. It's part of the reason his wielders always end up destroyed by him, other than the whole, yk, 'overwhelming qi' thing.

Nobody would recognize Xin Mo's human form as Xin Yuan other than some truly ancient demons. Of which Meng Mo might. But even that's iffy because there's a lack of surviving paintings of Xin Yuan, but also because of XM's demonic appearance and supposed lack of connection to XY.

Xin Mo has never spoken to his wielders before, not in the same way he does Luo Binghe. He tells Luo Binghe this, and he also tells Luo Binghe down the line that he is both spiritual and demonic -- something he also never told his wielders because there was no point to it.

okay okay i've got to end it here because its already gotten ridiculously long -- of which im both apologetic and unapologetic for -- but i DO think the Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan meeting (and reveal) would be fucking hilarious. Especially if SY has learned how to pop between sword form and human form by then -- although i guess it doesnt matter either way because SQH's reaction is still the same.

And that reaction is internally screaming and going "hey what the FUCK?? WHY DOES XIN MO HAVE A HUMAN FORM??? WHAT IS THIS??? SYSTEM??? EXPLAIN???"

meanwhile from his place on the sword hilt xin mo is squinting at Shang Qinghua in bewilderment and going "aren't you supposed to be dead" but doesn't pay too much mind to it because its not like its going to change anything.

...up until he catches shang qinghua going "WTF" silently from his little corner while all eyes are off him. One moment SQH is standing beside his king, and the next he's been tackled to the ground by one wild-eyed, human-shaped Xin Mo.

everyone, including SQH, thinks Xin Mo is going to kill him. It is a surprise to everyone when he does not, and instead dissolves into deranged, uncontrollable laughter after spitting out some phrase in some ancient tongue and watching SQH's eyes grow wide in recognition.

[sidsinning]

The pure fucking ANGUISH on Ichigo's face remembering the last moment he thought he'd ever see Rukia,,,the GRIEF as if she died when she's actually fine but just can't see him anymore,,,,bro needs her in his life, he can't be satisfied with anything less,,,,

Yeah ofc he misses his powers for more reasons than Rukia disappearing, but the sorrow he felt from her absence was the catalyst for finally activating his fullbring,,,

Ichigo crying sobbing throwing up on the inside after she leaves while Rukia is just chillin in SS is so heiwiwjrfjshsjwj,,, lover boy relax she's doing fine,,,,pathetic (affectionate),,,

[is-it-bussin-hannibal]

here’s a little treat, my freaks!!!

[scruncheduppaper]

GABRIEL: JUDGE OF HELL

(A practice sketch that accidentally turned into a whole thing)

[dolphelecat]

I Will Follow - Chris Tomlin

Wonderhole Edition

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

main love language is touch x touch-starved is the ultimate character dynamic btw

[irishhills]

nun

Blair is beginning to think she should just cut her losses and become a nun.

Maybe they wouldn’t take her. She’s not great at going to church, even though she’s pretty sure she believes in God. Just not like the way a typical priest does.

But maybe they wouldn’t take her because they’d find out she’s succumbed to the temptation of earthly flesh one too many times. Ironically, the reason she thinks about joining the convent is that it hasn’t been enough times, that she hasn’t gone far enough. Maybe they should measure potential sisters on what base they’ve made it to, plus how old they are. For example, if Blair was only eighteen, never getting past third base with the same guy who won’t ever own up to loving her would absolutely disqualify her. But now that she’s just a month away from her twenty-first birthday, maybe the convent would have to consider her. Twenty-one is so old.

It feels old, anyway. Blair hears stories all the time about first hookups in high school, at college orientation, in the very first week of freshman classes. Not her. She and Chris messed around a little bit in her room the night before their first-ever classes, but he left her broken hearted that night. It was awful then.

Of course, it’s worse now. She and Chris are in their junior year of college, turning twenty-one, and they live together. When living at home became too much, they decided to strike out on their own in Ann Arbor … but together, so it would be less expensive. They wake up at the same time, eat most of the same meals, watch all the same movies, listen to all the same music, attend all the same departmental get-togethers and family parties … but they’re not a couple. Never a couple. Never past third base and never in love. It doesn’t matter how many times Blair tells Chris that he’s kidding himself, that they’ve been in love for longer than they knew what love was, he won’t have it. He’s terrified himself into stasis. Blair’s just going to have to live with that. Even if it means becoming a nun.

She’s home alone this evening. Chris’s Wednesday night class is a Writing Young Adult Fiction workshop, and he usually stays on campus until ten or eleven, talking about characters and plots and ideas with the other creative writing majors. The cool kids. At least, that’s how Blair sees them whenever they get more of Chris’s attention than she does. She wishes she didn’t feel that way, and she knows she’s her own person, knows who she is when the man she loves isn’t at home. It’s just better when he is. It’s better when they’re a team.

She picks up a blanket from the La-Z-Boy that no one ever uses anymore. Chris brought it from his parents’ house when they moved into this apartment a couple of months ago, but they only ever need it when they have visitors. Most nights, they sit together on the couch. It’s not a very big couch, either. More like a loveseat. Also Chris’s contribution.

Blair looks at the blanket with an idea. She begins to wrap it around her head like she’s the Virgin Mary … but then, the door swings open. Wide open.

It’s Chris.

He’s not in class.

And he has something on his mind. Blair can tell. She knows what happens to those brown eyes when they decide to be serious. Her breath disappears, and she lets the blanket fall to the floor.

This is going to be good.

(part of @nosebleedclub march challenge -- day 28!)

[stylish-fish]

actually hoping that rouxls will NOT be devoted to serving queen and queen only. not only because i think it would really make sense to the treacherous nature of his character, he doesn't give a shit about who he's aligned with, he's not committed or devoted to anything or anyone and certainly isn't looking for a healthy balanced relationship where he actually has to care for someone but also because it would just. be really funny to see. let that man stumble over himself trying to impress like 5 people who don't care about him at once let him kiss the shoes of people in power who are all basically interchangeable to him let him be the castle town bicycle except everyone is actively trying to get rid of him. yes i know he's queen's lamp but i really hope he's doing this kind of shit to every evil ruler he comes across. i hope his awful personality will really shine with this and it's made clear that he does not care about any of them. can he try to seduce tenna or the weather duo or whoever's available in chapter 3 like he hadn't sworn allegiance and declared his "love" for queen literally a day ago it would both be really funny and also just illustrate the superficial view he has on other people. actually post cancelled can he go further than that. can he try to become the knight's pawn in one final attempt to keep his relevance and prove he's not just a useless rules card whose purpose is to get thrown away. can he try to rise above the rest of the darkners and lightners who he deems not worthy of himself while still being servile to someone because he's so used to it he can't live without it. can his whole world crumble down as a result, can he realize the truth about both the nature of the dark and light world and the horrible shitty life he's lived so far to make up for it, can this man experience horrible pain

[samijey]

WWE trying to re-write their own continuity with this new "Sami's been doing everything for Roman and it's messing his focus on himself" bullshit as if his main motivation for helping Roman wasn't made crystal clear multiple times

but sure Roman is "his boy" and that's why Sami's been helping him recently sure sure sure

want to motivate Sami to care more about himself rather than helping others? maybe even tease a heel turn? that's a good story to tell and Sami obviously still loves Roman (and believes it's mutual), but saying his main investment is on protecting Roman when that's absolutely not the story they've been telling is reeeeal annoying

[annoyinglovetyrant]

Stranded

Cosmic Traveler x Reader

You'll never be alone again..

21 days, 15 hours, and 32 minutes ago you had lost contact. You were assigned to a highly important, highly classified mission; You’ve always loved the stars, a tranquil reminder of our insignificance here in the universe, a forever constant in an often bleak looking world. Determined to one day see them out of our small planet, out of our dying atmosphere, you worked hard. Studying hard in school and college, then making a quick name for yourself at NASA, and from that determination and will, came your salvation. Or, so you had thought. The mission was supposed to be relatively simple: fly into space, take readings on a nearby nebula cluster that had somehow wandered too close to our solar system, then come home. It wasn’t supposed to take longer than a few years, your higher ups deeming you mentally well enough to partake on this alone, with a communications expert at your beck and call, his main objective to make sure you don't go insane up there. 

What nobody accounted for was your ship slowly starting to malfunction. It was little things at first: the team back home not making out certain words through interference, the kitchen and bathroom appliances flickering on in the middle of the night, you even started to notice your camera systems turning off, then right back on. The mission had gone smoothly for the first half, and you weren’t sure what exactly went wrong. Now, you were only a handful of Earth days away from the nebula. The beauty of it almost speaks to you. You’ve been staring at it through the window for the past few days, at least you think. It’s hard to tell the passage of time out here, even more so without Adam, the communications expert back home. 

Your fingers work deftly on the controls, your hourly routine of checking to see if anyone can hear you. You don’t know why you haven’t given up yet, supposing the most human part of you yearns so deeply to speak to someone else, something that can’t be gotten over. You didn’t have family back home, only a few close friends that kept your loneliness at bay, but now you’ve almost accepted you’ll never see them again. Almost. Adam, too.. He was kind, understanding, he shared the love of the stars and the universe with you, talking to him everyday was your only respite in these cold cosmos. Him and the beauty of everything, of course. You still your movements on the controls, an innate knowing that there’s no one out there, no one can hear you. You slump in your chair, the front window giving a perfect view of the nebula before you. You stare at it some more, eventually forgetting how long you’ve been sitting there, almost forgetting your problems. You fall asleep, head lolling to the side in a way that will surely hurt you when you wake up. The ship is silent, the quiet rise and fall of your chest being the only sound.

“Hello?”

Your eyes snap awake, your body jolting towards the controls, quickly switching on your radio. 

“Hello? Y-Yes, hello. Can you hear me? Hello?”

Your movements still, not even daring to breathe in case you miss anything. You wait a few seconds before trying again,

“Hello? Please.. Can anyone hear me?”

Nothing.

It must’ve been a dream, your subconscious trying to soothe the unbearable ache. That small flicker of hope being taken away is your breaking point. A heart wrenching sob leaves you, a deep pain in your chest taking your breath away. You sob harder than you ever have in your life; An overwhelming fear of being out in space alone, grief of the life you threw away, of the people you will never see again. You kick and scream, banging your hands and wrists against the metal hull of the ship, damning it for damning you. After a few hours of this, your body nearly passes out from exhaustion and lack of care. You probably could have slept forever, if it wasn’t for the kitchen microwave incessantly beeping. It eventually wakes you up, the beeping making its way into your dreams, slowly pulling you from the comfort of sleep. You find that you had fallen asleep on the floor, the unchecked amount of time sleeping on the metal ground making your bones ache as you stand. They creak and pop as you force your body to move towards the sound, the lack of nutrition making you lightheaded as you begin to walk. Rubbing your eyes groggily, you slide open the kitchen door, then freeze. 

There he was, there it was. It almost looks human, with a chiseled male torso and arms, leading to a somewhat human head. That’s where the similarities stop, however. The lower portion of his body is snake-like in appearance, his skin dark blue, almost like the color of space itself. A long row of sharp teeth rest where his mouth is, and his eyes are long and wide, with no discernible pupils or sclera, just a haunting shade of milky white. You both stare at each other for a few seconds, your shock evident on your features. The beeping from the microwave stalling as he stops his movements on the chords. Slowly, you slide the kitchen door closed, walking backwards until bumping into the wall. You turn your body autonomously, taking deliberate steps towards the control area, and sitting down carefully in your chair. The shell shock doesn’t leave your face, every negative emotion a person can experience raging through your body as you sit there silently. 

“Please, do not be scared. I mean you no harm.”

His words hardly register, the ringing in your ears preventing you from hearing properly. “I’ve gone crazy..” You say to yourself, doing everything you can to ignore any noise the creature may be making behind you. A terrible shiver runs down your neck and through your spine, your breathing picking up as the animal part of your brain alerts you of nearby danger.

“Please, do not be scared. I do not wish to hurt you,” This time, you are able to make out his words, but no part of you trusts them. Your body shakes uncontrollably, an overwhelming sense of fear and acceptance washes through you. If this creature decides it wants to kill you, there’s absolutely nothing you can do.

“I am not going to hurt you,” He’s right behind you now, one hand coming into your view. You slowly shift your gaze to look at the arm out of the corner of your eye, sharp claws coming to rest on the control pad. If possible, your breathing becomes more ragged, unable to inhale a proper amount of filtered oxygen. Even more slowly, you shift your gaze some more to look at his face, only a foot or so away from yours. His head tilts as you finally look at him, though you can’t discern any emotion on his face.

“I will not hurt you. Please, do not be so afraid.” 

You swallow hard, a massive lump having formed in your throat and tears starting to spill from your eyes. It takes you a few seconds of mental warfare before you open your mouth to speak, a few seconds longer for words to finally come out, “What.. What do you want?” You say finally, a constant quiver in your voice, “You are alone, scared. I want to help you,” He says bluntly, though careful to read your body language. You don’t say anything back, mulling over his words and how well you believe them. You’re honestly not quite sure if he’s even real. 

~~~

You’ve locked yourself away in your small room, only leaving when it’s absolutely necessary. He’s still here, what he’s doing though, is not something you care to know. However, you can’t deny his respect for your boundaries, allowing you your safe space on the relatively small ship, not pestering you as you emerge from your room to eat or use the facilities. It doesn’t take long for your loneliness to creep back up on you, but this time, you have someone, or something, to talk to. You mentally debate with yourself if you should entertain him, but the reality of your situation sets in again, and you realize he’s all you have..

Exiting your small room, you see him wrapped around the ceiling pipes in the kitchen, curiously looking at the human food and decor. He turns to look at you when he hears the door open, setting down the half eaten package of freeze dried skittles. Your heart beats faster when you see him still, though the fear is minuscule compared to the first meeting, “Do.. Do you have a name?” You ask him, fiddling with your hands nervously as you stare up at him. He tilts his head at you, a gesture he seems to do when he’s somewhat surprised at your actions, “Not one you could understand..

You can call me Adam, though, if you’d like.”

Your eyebrows furrow at him, apprehensive of why he chose that name specifically, “You have a fondness for that name,” he says, like that answers any questions. “How long have you been here?” You ask, distrust clear in your tone.

“Long enough.”

“How long is ‘long enough’?”

“Since your systems malfunctioned. Your fear called to me, your loneliness made me stay. I was intrigued by you..”

You don’t know why, but his words make you feel profoundly.. Special. 

~~~

By now, you’ve closed in on the nebula, the sole purpose you came on this mission, and yet.. You pass by it without so much as taking a note. You’re not sure when you allowed it to happen, but soon after your first real conversation, you started seeking out Adams’ presence, his touch. His arms gently wrap around you as the ship passes the nebula, knowing, feeling, the deep ache it gives you. Any sliver of hope you had of going home, passed by with the cluster of gas. His arms are tentative, yet strong, holding you physically and emotionally. You aren’t quite sure why he’s still here, what about you had intrigued him so much, but you can’t bring yourself to be upset about that anymore, quite the opposite, actually. 

As time ticks by, and the ship drifts further and further away from your turning point, your grief grows deeper and deeper. Adams’ arms squeeze tighter, as your mourning grows, firmly keeping you in reality, forcing you to not lose yourself in the pain. It’s endearing watching him try and give you food, him trying to care for you in general with his lack of knowledge on humans, him not knowing the proper things to provide any nutrients for you. The gestures are enough to get you up and find yourself some ‘real’ food. You wonder to yourself how many more meal times you have before all of your rations are gone. Before you eventually succumb to the mercy of space. You don’t voice this thought aloud; Adam may not convey much emotion, but his species seems to communicate their feelings through energy. And, the energy you feel from him when his arms are around you is immense. 

At some point, you had learned he was so intrigued by you, because he felt the same: lost, alone, scared. Your body is not meant to withstand the trials of space, but his is, causing him to be alone for most of his long life. Space is so vast, he hasn’t found any intelligent life in a very, very long time. Until you, a beacon of light and warmth in the never ending darkness and cold. He’s been alone for so long, as much as he tries to keep the feeling to himself, you can sense how he plans to never let you go. You belong with him, why else would he have found you, if not for a reason?

You know that soon you will have to voice your concerns about the food rations, but for now, you two just lay together, wrapped in each other. Your bed is only meant for one, and he’s much too large to try and fit in there with you, so you two lie on the hard metal floor. Any soft or pliable item or fabric is spread along the control room, somewhat cushioning you two. His hands roam any exposed skin, in your hair, along your face, anywhere he can touch freely. The long rows of sharp teeth that encompass the majority of the lower half of his face open and close, using the scent glands in his throat to smell you, to memorize anything and everything he can. 

Since his species communicates feelings with energy and emotions, it allows him to sense and feel other beings’, even if they try to convey those feelings or not.. He knows. He knows you think you’re going to die soon. You won’t. He simply won’t allow it, not after finally finding you. Even when you grow old and decrepit, he’ll find ways to keep you alive, he’ll do anything for you, surely you know this by now. At this point, you’ve fallen asleep against his chest, your soft breaths like music to him, a constant reminder you’re here, you’re alive. 

Once he’s sure you're firmly asleep, he uses a sharp claw to draw blood from his wrist, slowly bringing it upwards to you, small droplets falling in your mouth and against your lips. His life force is different than yours, it will keep you alive, even if it slowly kills him. If you’re both lucky, maybe you’ll die at the same time, one not having to be forced to live without the other. He watches as your unconscious form swallows the foreign substance settling in the back of your throat, effectively tying you to him forever. If he had the capability to smile, he would. He watches you sleep, him not needing to do something so trivial, a sense of peace settling in him, knowing that no matter what it takes, you will not die. You will travel the cosmos with him, you will be by his side. He’s careful not to allow you to sense how happy he is that you became stranded out here, alone. He knows how completely selfish that is, yet he can’t bring himself to hate the feeling. It’s been just him for countless life cycles, no matter the species, he will live to see them die.

The ship had malfunctioned on its own, you were always going to be lost out here, but.. You didn’t need to communicate back home, that would only make things harder for you, even if you may not see that. He had no other choice than to tamper with your radio. He’s lived for a long time, he knows the best things for you, your species is too young and naive to truly know what’s right. His hands glide down your shoulder, to your waist and hips, squeezing lightly to feel your soft skin under the clothes. He’d never touch you in a way you would deem immoral, not without your consent, but feeling your body over your clothes surely can’t be too bad, especially if he steers clear of your sensitive areas. He will wait to touch you more intimately, he can’t risk scaring you away. 

~~~

As more time passes, you don’t realize how little you’ve eaten, yet how much better you feel. Any thought about it, is met with a sense of tranquility, passing it off as finally having someone to hold you. And, he does. You quickly notice how little he lets you go, a small flicker of anger and sadness emanating from him when he reluctantly does. 

“I love you.”

You freeze, a spoonful of peanut butter resting in your mouth. You look at him confusedly, “What?” You ask muffled, pulling the spoon from out of your mouth.

“I love you. More than anything I ever have in this existence.”

You’re unsure where this came from, or how he knows the right word for ‘love’, but your stomach flips at his confession nonetheless. You smile at him, a giddy feeling rising in your chest you haven’t experienced since embarking on this mission, 

“I love you, more.”

“That is not possible.”

“But, it is.”

“Your words are foolish, you cannot possibly believe that, can you?”

He seems somewhat offended that you would think such a thing, he is slowly stripping away his ability to live for you.. And you think you possibly feel more? Even if you may not know that factoid, surely you can feel how strongly he feels for you, how utterly overwhelming it is for him. He slithers over to you, wrapping you in his arms, chest to chest. His hands come to cup your face, communicating with you in his way how he feels towards you, the energy so all consuming, it almost makes your knees buckle and tears start to well in your eyes. 

“You have absolutely no idea how strongly I feel for you, the things I would, will, am doing for you.

Do not ever doubt that. Please.”

[voidyellingtime]

rarepair ship time !

Saejin, wuhluhwuh ever

[wincestwhispers]

i’m tired of pretending i don’t fw wincest</3

[irishhills]

obsessed with green day releasing the official chris and blair song, it’s like they knew