#shit is bad here but oh god. that site brings out the worst in people

[bejeweledmp3]

EVERYTIME. i go to twitter for fandom stuff. i remember why one should never go to twitter for fandom stuff lmao

[abraxos-is-toothless]

Undercover- Throne of Glass AU (7)

Okayyy so, it might just be a bit of a filler update, but I am introducing a little ship here, because I can. Surprise!

Undercover Masterlist.

Full Masterlist.

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“So, am I finally going to get some insight on this whole name thing, or are you going to keep me guessing?”

Aelin stopped her assault on the punching bag, looking to the sound of that sinful voice to find Rowan in the doorway to the gym, leaning against the frame with his arms folded across his chest. He was dressed in nothing but low hanging sweats, feet bare and hair still messy from sleep. She must have woken him up with all of her noise, considering his room was pretty much directly above. Aelin had woken several hours earlier, sweaty with her clothes sticking to her body. The nightmare was a bad one and she’d needed to do something to take her mind off of it. So here she was, breathing heavily and mouth salivating at the sight before her. Choosing to ignore his question, she returned it with one of her own, slowly unwrapping the tape from her hands as she sat on the nearest bench.

“It’s five in the morning. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Fuck. She’d been down here for two hours. That explained why she ached everywhere. He walked across the room towards her, stopping just short of the bench, waiting for her to nod before he too sat down. Rowan’s hand reached out and took her own, making her hold her breath as he took over on the tape. He was soft and gentle, moving carefully, soothing her knuckles with his thumbs. When he was finished, he kept hold of her hands, thumbs still moving and she finally managed to drag her eyes to his face. He was frowning down at her hands, more specifically, the long slice in her left hand that was still healing. Finding her voice she spoke softly;

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

That frown of his turned into a smile, just a little quirk of his lips and he leaned back to meet her eyes. “That’s alright. I heard one of the twins get up just a little earlier. I found Con in the living room with Ren quietly talking before coming here. They make quite good friends.” He was right of course. Aelin had noticed the two of them together in their free time, but she could also see the subtle looks Ren would give the other man when Connall would turn away for a moment. “Now, stop avoiding. You said you’d tell me about the name.” She rolled her eyes as she sighed. It was hard sometimes to talk about it, and he was still fairly new so she didn’t really want to tell him. Yet, for them to work together, they needed to build trust in one another and so she had to tell him.

“Aelin is my real name. ‘Celaena’ is just my cover, but they all still call me ‘Ace’. But to be exact, my full name is Aelin Ashryver Galathynius.” She watched the way he began to nod before stopping short, eyes going wide as he pieced it together.

“Wait, you mean as in Rhoe Galathynius?”

She chuckled, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Yes, the one and only. My father. Aedion is my cousin. I’m honestly surprised none of you put that together, we look the same.”

“To some maybe, but personally, I don’t think that anyone could compare to you.” Aelin almost choked a little, eyes widening, and mouth open but no words left her. Rowan never looked away, just continued to stare at her with those beautifully bright green eyes. Taking a few deep breaths she tried to joke;

“You’re just saying that to cover up. You just don’t want me to tell Lys she might have to start competing for Aedion’s affections.” It worked because he laughed but that didn’t help her situation. His laugh was deep, rumbling and Aelin suddenly wanted to feel the vibrations it would have emitted over certain places on her body. She squeezed her thighs together and rubbed them, noting the way his eyes darkened when he caught the movement. Gods above, she needed some self control over her traitorous thoughts. Clearing her throat, she decided to put them back on track before she snapped. “I was around nine or ten when it happened. People who hated my family had broken into the house.” Her voice turned hard, reliving some of her worst memories. “My parents had a plan of course, if something like that were to happen. Elide’s mother had woken me in the middle of the night, getting me out of the house as fast as she could as my mother had asked. I was put into a car with some of his men to get me away.” She hadn’t realised her hands were shaking until Rowan started rubbing his thumb across her knuckles again. Aelin felt him move close, basically pressed up against her side and the heat radiating off of him was comforting, along with that lovely scent of pine trees.

“You don’t have to keep going, it’s alright.” She shook her head. It was only fair she gave him something in return for that night in the garden, besides, she’d already started now.

“The car was run off of the road somewhere, into some abandoned building site. I was told to stay in the car and when I was left alone all I could hear were gunshots. I hid on the floor between the seats but after that everything was blank, until I woke up in a random house. There was a young man with red hair, Arobynn, telling me that I was ‘safe’ now.” Aelin leaned into Rowan, feeling him lift his arm and wrapping it around her shoulders. “I wasn’t safe there at all.” Once upon she had thought it was safe, whenever she was with Sam, until all of that went to shit too.

“You’re safe now, you’re safe from him.” Oh, how desperately did she wish that was true.

“But I’m not Rowan, I’m not. You personally have seen what he’s been trying to do. He was going to kill Chaol and Yrene, kill the goddamn baby. Everyone knows I do not tolerate the harming of children. I’ll go back, if it means keeping everyone safe, I’ll go back to him.” She’d go back and be another one of his things again, his so-called Queen. The man next to her looked angry now, eyes narrowed and lips pressed into a thin line. Rowan took controlled breaths before he spoke, voice hard and determined.

“No. We won’t let him have you. I won’t let him have you.” If only it were that easy.

“You won’t have a choice,” she breathed, “he’ll kill you all of-”

Aelin was cut off when Rowan pressed his hand over her mouth. Apart from the few calluses, his skin was soft and she wanted to feel more. “No, I don’t want to hear it. Everything will be fine.”

“Okay, okay.” She relented, figuring it would no doubt be brought up again. “You want to help me make pancakes? Yrene has been wanting them a lot lately.” Rowan let out a sigh of relief, seeing that she wasn’t going to argue and nodded, soft smile returning.

“Yeah, sure. Although, you better watch your back, the twins might get upset at you for taking over their mother hen duties.”

“I’ve got you to protect me though.” Aelin said with a wink as they stood, moving towards the door. She could have sworn he was sad when he muttered from behind her, and she wished it didn’t affect her so much.

“Of course you do.”

It was foolish of her, but there was no stopping the growing feelings inside of her chest. She just hoped that in the end, it didn’t wreck them both.

oOoOo

Connall did not trust this tingling feeling he had whenever Ren would smile. He’d never felt like this, ever, and it scared the absolute shit out of him. They’d bonded the first night he and the other got here, over their love of books. It was the job, to get in, to get close and so, when asked about his interests he’d said he loved to read. Ren had perked up when he’d said so and had asked more about genres and authors. Oddly they both were lovers of Jane Austen novels. Connall had always kept to himself, considering in his line of work, they’d always looked down on him whenever he mentioned liking guys as well as girls. So he never went for what he wanted. But then Rowan agreed to this fucking mission and Ren had the audacity to smile at him. The two of them just clicked, in ways that were different from what he felt with anyone else. They understood one another and he hadn’t had that with another person, only Fenrys, but they’re brothers, twins.

Rowan and their new ‘boss’ had come back up a little over thirty minutes ago, disappearing into the kitchen as they argued about the best pancake toppings of all things. Aelin glanced in the living room as they passed, seeing he and Ren sat closer than necessary- Connall was nearly in Ren’s lap, they were that close -watching one of the Pride and Prejudice adaptations together and had quirked a brow. Connall had put a little more distance between the two of them after that, ignoring the quick flash of hurt and confusion on Ren’s awfully beautiful face. And really, beautiful might have been an understatement. He had no words when he looked at the other man. There was always an urge to run his hand through those long, dark locks that reached his shoulder. His eyes were a deep brown, warm and sometimes Connall couldn’t make himself look away. The scar on Ren’s face only added to the beauty of him and he wanted to gently trace with his fingers, and then follow the same trail with a soft press of lips.

“Con, are you okay? You’ve gone quite red.” Shit, shit, shit.

Clearing his throat and cursing his mind for giving him scenarios he would never get to explore, he forced out a quick, “I’m fine.” Even so, Ren slowly lifted a hand, pressing the back of it to Connall’s cheek, and he held his breath.

“You don’t feel too hot. Are you sure that it’s nothing?”

“Yes, all good.” The hand on his cheek lingered, twisting to cup his face gently, thumb swiping back and forth just under his eye before brushing a piece of Connall’s dark hair away from his face. His hair was the main, distinguishable thing between him and Fenrys. For one stupid moment, he though Ren might lean in and he let out an unsteady breath, which seemed to bring Ren back to himself and pulled away. Connall missed the touch instantly, wanting to bring the other man back in, closer than before and find out if his lips were as soft as they looked.

Feeling like the biggest idiot ever, he looked away before standing abruptly. Ren tilted his head back, watching him and Connall could see regret in his eyes, but only for a second and then it was gone. It was dumb to think he could actually have what he wanted, and even he was dumber for letting his feelings loose when in the end, Ren would be gone. “I’m going to wake up Fenrys, because if I don’t, he’ll stay in bed until noon.” He was out of the room and moving up the stairs as soon as he’d finished talking, ignoring the quiet murmur of his name.  Once inside his shared room, he shut the door with a resounding click, leaning heavily against it and closing his eyes. There was some shuffling of bed sheets and quiet steps before he felt Fenrys beside him, a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” Fenrys spoke softly, still a little groggy from sleep.

“This mission is not what we anticipated, Fen.”

“I know. I mean, those men they killed for attacking the Westfalls, I didn’t even care. I was glad. And strangely, I want to be friends with them all, I want to keep them safe.” Gods, what the hell was happening to them? Why couldn’t it just have been a simple, easy job?

“I think I like him.” It wasn’t what he meant to say, but it was what came out.

“Who is him?” Opening his eyes, he looked at his brother. There was no shock on his face, no sign that he was mad. He just raised a brow, a small knowing smile on his lips.

“Ren. But it looks like you already knew that.”

“I know you, better than I know myself, you big idiot.” Jerk.

“Rowan will kill us, if he knows we’re slipping. But I can’t help it, they’re just...he’s just...” Fenrys’ hand moved to hold the back of his neck, pulling him in so their foreheads touched. They were the same, yet they were opposite, staring at one another.

“I am your brother, and I’ll always choose you, no matter what you do. We’ll be okay, in the end.”

Every part inside of him wanted so badly to believe him, to trust in his words. Yet Connall knew, he knew this was going to change them forever. There was only one question though.

Were they strong enough to deal with the fallout?

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Let me know what you thought and just give me a shout if you want to be added to the tag list!!:) Also a ship name for Con and Ren? I need you to tell me your ideas on it;)

Tags: @bryaxisthefaceofnightmares​ @fancyclodpaintercookie @empress-sei @acourtofterrasenandvelaris​ @tswaney17 @queen-of-glass @thesirenwashere @awkward-avocado-s​ @b00kworm @http-itsrebecca @eatmysandwiches @poisonous00​ @flowersinvegas @julemmaes @mu-si-ca-l @spyofthenightcourt  @sis-it-dont-add-up  @mad-madeline-ace @df3ndyr  @jesstargaryenqueen  @notyournymphetish @carbconnoisseur @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln  @superspiritfestival @alyx801  @dayanna-hatter

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 99

Here we have the aftermath of the Warlord Bowl. 

Here, we finally... FINALLY get to see Jokul as a person and not a far-off mysterious bad guy. Consciously, there was never any intent to compare Jokul to people who don’t understand how politics work: @zommbiebro​ isn’t even American, for one thing, and therefore neither is Jokul. However, reading it on the last pass before posting, I realized how it could be taken.

The part that isn’t relevant to the chapter: While I didn’t mean that comparison, please make sure you vote in any local elections available to you, if it doesn’t risk your life. No matter how much you feel your vote doesn’t matter, it does. If everyone who didn’t vote decided to do so, it would change the world.

In my own country, I’ll be taking time off work - because I have that ability - and taking local people to polls that ordinarily would be inaccessible to them within their district.

Back to the chapter relevant stuff: Thank you to @zommbiebro​ for giving me such a good character to play with, @charlylimph-blog​ for reading to ensure entertainment, and @baelpenrose​ for beta reading in every way that entails.

After a quick dinner at the first mess we came across - and true to my promise, I didn’t cook anything - Arthur, Antoine and I reconvened with Jokul in my office. As agreed, he brought only two of his own people, who sat on either side of him in a mirror to how I was bracketed by my own friends.

Unfortunately, they entered as I was mulling out loud the possibility of making hot pot for family dinner one night.  Even less fortunately, the ginger who I had thrown in the gym was one of the people who walked through my door while I was debating the logistics of meat versus vegetarian options.

“She doesn’t even take us seriously!” the nasal voice complained, interrupting me.

Simultaneously, several things happened. I opened my mouth to retort, Arthur put a hand over my mouth, Antoine pushed my shoulder back into the chair.

And Jokul spoke up.

“We agreed to meet with them if Farro beat me in combat.  He did, we are here, and there will be no further argument on the matter.” If anything, he sounded weary rather than angry. “She did not even request that we cease acting against her, only that we meet as equals. It is the least we can do.”

I didn’t even know forehead cramps were a thing until I gave myself one with the speed of my eyes widening. Slowly, Arthur lowered his hand so I could speak. “Right,” I coughed. “So, there are a few things I want to know.”

“Such as?” 

“Why am I your target?” I blurted out. Of everything, this was the one that was weighing heaviest on me. I felt if I could understand that, I would know how to tackle the rest. 

To my frustration, he fucking shrugged. “You are emblematic of everything that will destroy our chance at a new start,” he stated calmly, like he was telling me his name.

I sputtered before regaining my composure. “How? How am I doing something badly?”

“You only want to consolidate power, rule over the masses!” the red-haired toady honked at me.

The overblown statement and Jokul’s subsequent glare at his own man was a level of ridiculous I couldn’t handle at that moment.  Laughing ruefully, I wiped away a tear that warned me I was close to hysterical. “I don’t want to rule over anyone, dude.  If I had my preference, I would only decide what I want to eat once or twice  a week for the rest of my life.”

“But you rule over the Council,” Jokul pointed out in a confused tone.

“I don’t rule anyone, buddy. I am on the Council largely against my will, and mostly because no one else who is qualified even wants my job. Trust me, I’ve tried.” Gods had I tried.

His next statement was significantly less confident. “But you took the reins of power…”

“I am a glorified event coordinator and human resources officer. I have a staff of exactly two. One is my sister, who has been in her role longer than I’ve been in mine and only listens to me when it’s convenient. The other is my assistant, who is British as hell and listens to me on about equal level with my cat.”

“The Baconists! Your assistant was part of that rebellion! You must have known and hidden it from our hosts!” I had to give him some begrudging credit. Even he didn’t sound like he believed his own words, and if the smug look from Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber on either side of him was anything to go by, that wasn’t his own theory.

Time to set the record straight, it seemed. “Okay, quick reminder: that bitch tried to kill me,” I enunciated carefully, leaning forward as I spoke.  “She nearly succeeded. That wasn’t a cover up, it was her realizing that I talk to myself in the shower and listening long enough to hear me think through what was going on. As far as hiding her intent from our hosts… You’re only half right. Miys doesn’t read minds, contrary to what people think, they only read intent. That nutjob really did think she was doing the best thing for the universe by wiping humanity off the proverbial map. Nothing for Miys to pick up, she actually had what she thought were good intentions.”

“You have built yourself to be this legendary hero -”

“I didn’t build myself to be jack. Effing. Shit. If I had my preference, I would give you my position, and open a restaurant that does cooking classes.” When he opened his mouth to interject, I held up a hand to stop him. “Miys likes me because I talk to myself, even in my head, and so badly that they can still hear what I am saying when I don’t move my lips. I only survived being attacked by a crazy person because I treat the person who saved me like, you know, a person? Make sure he’s okay, give him his space when he wants it, sass him back when he wants to be sassy. It was just sheer, dumb luck, and I’m not even sure it was good luck, because voila!” I flung my hands wide at the current situation, forcing both Arthur and Antoine to duck. A quick glance at Antoine only rendered one of his eloquent shrugs. Must be handling the situation okay if he doesn’t think I need help.

I was less concerned with Arthur’s opinion, not because I didn’t care, but because I knew he would jump in when he felt it was needed, without prompting or permission.

“So you do not want to rule over us all?” Jokul asked carefully.

“I don’t even want to top one of my boyfriends consistently.”

“Sophia!” Antoine hissed with a miserable expression, while Arthur burst into a coughing fit. I wasn’t sure if the latter was trying to cover a laugh of choking. 

Jokul, on the other hand, seemed to take that at face value  “Then why are you in power? Explain that.”

With a heavy sigh, I tried again. “I’m not in power. Decisions are voted on by the Council. If someone brings me an idea for a class, or an architectural project, or a medical possibility, I pass it off to the Councilor who handles that and let it go from there.” Emphatically, I pointed at my own face. “Again, glorified events coordinator and HR.”

“And yet, you have your pet warlord sitting beside you. Explain that away,”Tweedledumb - the brunette on Jokul’s other side - accused.

I whipped my head to look at the subject of that statement before looking back across the table. “Arthur?” I asked, jerking a thumb in his general direction. “You do realize he’s a teacher first, right? Warlord out of need, but that ‘need’ was protecting the students in his history class when everything went to shit? Don’t get me wrong, we butted heads like you would not believe when we first met in person. But we realized halfway through what looked to be one hell of an argument that we knew each other for - fuck, like, a decade? Maybe less? - before the End. I didn’t ‘win him over.’ We just realized we’ve always been friends.” With a shrug I glanced back at Arthur, who also shrugged before nodding.

“Too convenient, Councilor.” Tweedledumb gloated. “You just happened to be friends with someone who - “

“Oh for FUCK’s sake!” Annnnd there it was.  Someone had reached his limit for diplomacy and stupidity. “We met on a fanfiction site writing a crossover of two of the worst pieces of science fiction ever written and mutually infected each other! FUCK!” Crossing his arms, he started muttering to himself. “Not like finding someone to kick your asses is hard…”

After a glare at the darker-haired idiot, and with an expression that looked like he was entirely regretting his choice of people for this meeting, Jokul schooled his features before addressing me directly. “Fanfiction?” he asked in a skeptical tone.

And the dirty truth comes out, I thought with another sigh. “StarDoc and Warhammer 40K, okay? It was fun, no fandom to cheese off, nothing smutty. Just… fun.” When the nostalgia threatened to overtake me, I shook my head vigorously. “The point is, we knew each other for years Before the world went to shit, and only realized when one of my friends landed in his class and there was a data error.  I don’t even like violence.” Antoine gave me a skeptical look so I clarified. “Usually.”

“And yet you are a combatant!” Jokul stated with certainty, clearly on more familiar ground.

Angrily, I scowled at Tweedle-the-ginger before leaning forward to look into Jokul’s eyes. “Look. I don’t know how it was in Canada, with your mooses and shit, but I really, really want to know: Do you honestly believe that anyone who got through the After did it without learning how to defend themselves? Even more, that any woman who made it, didn’t learn to fight dirty?”

“Not if you know how to have people defend you - “ Jokul tried before I cut him off.

“They don’t defend me because I’m helpless, let’s be clear. They defend me because I will only fight back if I know my life is on the line. But, on the same page, I will protect my friends and family from anything, without reserve, and die for them. No hesitation.” With a deep breath, I sat back rather than jumping over the table.  “I have my flaws, and my sister will tell you the biggest among those is that I trust too easily.  I assume the best in, literally, everyone.”

“Except smartass teacher, apparently,” Arthur said in a fake cough that fooled exactly nobody.

After making a face at my friend, I turned back to the moose in the room. “What that means is, I don’t try to defend myself until it is literally your life or mine. Or both. I don’t really care at that point, because I assume I’m not going to make it. I just want the person I’m fighting to go down with me.” Trying to imitate Charly’s most savage grin, I put on a forced-cheerful tone. “Now, tell me, Jokul. Who would rather have faced in that fight, knowing that?”

His eyes darted between Arthur and myself as he swallowed hard, mulling the implications of that. “You would kill and die for your friends’ safety and health, even if you would only protect yourself at the last moment?” Here, he scoffed. “There is nothing exceptional or even special about that. Many who were in power in the After felt the same.”

“Except I don’t want power,” I repeated in a tone that I previously reserved only for small children. “I just told you that.” In the corners of my eyes, I saw both of my friends nodding so hard I was concerned for their spines.

Before I could try to reason with Jokul any more, Arthur jumped in. “If you’re both done arguing righteousness, let me explain a few things. Jokull. First off, Soph actually doesn’t want to rule, or be on the Council. She told you this. She’s also bitched about it to me, her sister, and anyone else who will listen, at length. On top of being too trusting, her biggest flaw is actually an impulsivity problem, in general. But she’s not an autocrat.” As he gestured, I saw his eyes glaze over, his voice taking on a serene tone that was entirely too familiar. “If Soph was a real autocrat, she’d have let us have our little duel armed, with my sword and - I presume you’d have had an ax? Maybe a broadsword? You look like a broadsword guy... any rate.”

“However,” he continued, leaning forward with a thoughtful expression, like he was puzzling something out. “she made me promise not to kill you. Think about that. After you’ve been nothing but a headache and a threat to her and her family for months, she makes me promise not to kill you. I wanted to, you know.” The wistful sigh that accompanied that statement was entirely unnecessary and I was certain he only did it to irritate me.  “I wanted to kill you and have your lifeless corpse thrown out of the airlock like trash, not because of the Council, not because your Viking gimmick wears out in a hurry, but because you made the mistake of threatening a friend, then slapping a student. I had no idea if you were actually going to seriously harm any of them, and I didn’t care. The threat alone was enough to make me decide I wanted you dead.” Tapping his chin briefly, he pointed at Jokul without actually looking at him. “Because you were an unknown quantity, but no matter whether or not you were actually the threat you claimed to be, your corpse would be harmless.”

Arthur shrugged before looking Jokul in the face. “That’s how warlords handled things in the After, isn’t it? When someone threatened your people, or when someone threatened mine? I didn’t negotiate. I didn’t warn. I doubt you did, either. I took them at their word, and I did unto them first. And I’d bet you did the same. ‘Peace’ was what you called it when everyone who wanted to make war on you or your people was dead. That’s what the After taught me, that’s what it taught you.” After emphasizing his point by gesturing between the two of them, he shook his head.  “And that impulse, that set of lessons? That's not what humanity needs right now. Our skill set as leaders is not what humanity needs right now. If you want humanity to have a fresh start as you claim, drop the hostility, drop the self-righteousness, and actually try listening. Do you want a genuine peace with the Council?” Thoughtfully, he stroked the hilt of his sword where it laid across his lap. 

I knew it was the fondness of being reunited with a long lost limb, but Jokul didn’t know that. 

“Or a warlord’s peace with me?” In a creepy way, Arthur’s tone was downright perky. “I prefer a genuine one. A warlord’s idea of peace is one of the things I want to leave in the ashes of the After. That’s why it’s the Council who make the rules here - not warlords.”

With an alarmed expression, Jokul very slowly glanced at me. “Did he just threaten to kill me and shove me out an airlock?”

“No, he’s pouting because I wouldn’t let him do that,” I answered honestly.  The topic had come up, for a solid fifteen seconds.  I was even reasonably sure Arthur had been joking.

“I don’t - “ Arthur started  indignantly before being cut off by Jokul.

“He makes a good point. Our skills as warlords are not what is needed in this new world. I let myself believe people who told me that the Council in general and you specifically wanted to hoard power and privilege over us, just like the people who led Earth to where it ended up.” He glanced nervously at Arthur, who was still stroking his sword, before forging ahead in a somewhat squeakier tone. “If someone who has had real power agrees that you and the Council are the best option, then I will at least try to see how that would work.”

Here, Antoine joined the conversation. “Militant strength and ruling by force aren’t the only forms of power. We do not want that sort of power over us anymore. The Council leads because the people on this ship largely want to follow them.  That is the kind of power no one can force.  It has to be earned.”

“But the Council still makes decisions without our will - “

Shaking my head, I angrily flicked open my datapad and shot a file to him like I was thumping off an insect. “No, Bjornson, we don’t.  I was elected to my position - without my knowledge, might I add - by the people I represent to the Council. Every decision we make, the people on this ship get a vote with the exception of an emergency like what happened on Level One.  There wasn’t time to have a vote on how to handle that.”

“Although, we have had a lot of emergencies lately, so I understand the confusion,” Arthur interjected.

Is this what hallucinations feel like? I wondered. There was no way in frozen hell Arthur just made a point in Jokul’s favor, but the calm, resigned look on his face told me that, at some point, he seemed to have made peace with having to treat Jokul Bjornson as a sentient being. I was going to pass out if I kept sighing, though. “Okay, true. But everything else - Insert Winter Holiday, the swimming area, the diving docks, food festivals, permanent low stimulation areas throughout the ship, Galactic Core education - those were voted on by the people on this ship, with an overwhelming majority in favor.”

“What about the alarms?” Jokul pointed to his own head for emphasis.

“Also voted on, believe it or not,” I confirmed. “ And most of the ship agreed that there was more benefit in not running into people who would react badly to unexpected touch than there was discomfort at the alarms going off.”

“I tested them myself, monsieur.” Antoine offered. “So I am well acquainted with the volume they are calibrated for, and I do not appreciate you disabling them.  My staff have had to work around the clock to treat the damage your people have caused to others on this ship, who are terrified to leave their quarters now.”

Jokul looked a bit guilty at that, as well as his entourage.  Looked like he hadn’t considered that. “Would you believe me if I told you that was originally an accident?” he admitted sheepishly.  “One of the engineers thought it would be funny to shock another one in the neck with a low level electrical current, right behind the ear.” He turned his head and pointed to a small burn scar in the same place. “It took days for them to notice that the proximity alarm didn’t work anymore.”

To my shock, Antoine started swearing angrily in French, so fast even the translator couldn’t keep up. “Sophia, if I find out Charly Harper is the cause of this…”

Jokul shook his head vigorously. “I can assure you it was not Miss Harper.” His focus slid over to me, eyes wide.

Either this motherfucker just lied to keep Charly out of trouble, or she really was innocent.

“That explains why Derek and Zach couldn’t figure out how they did it,” Arthur pointed out. “You can’t hack into something that’s shorted out.”

Jokul spoke up again. “It also… may? Have caused some translation inconsistencies?”

“So the shock corrupted more files than just the alarms,” I stated in clarification.

“Several, in fact, yes…. Specifically signed languages and tonal languages.”

“That’s… that’s at least a third of the ship…” I couldn’t figure out if I wanted to sob in horror or laugh hysterically.

Jokul groaned before cradling his head in his hands. “I am aware, yes.”

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[notasiren21]

To those who want to kill themselves:

I’m not going to sugarcoat this at all. I’ll be gentle at times and then rather aggressive. And for good reason...

Because you deserve to fucking live.

I’m aware there’s blatant bullying, discreet and subtle bullying that makes you question if you’re just being sensitive and taking things too seriously (most of the time you’re not, trust me), neglect, familial issues, and then situational instances that pound into your heart and head consistently.

Believe it or not, but the cliché term of “it does get better” is true, just as long as you yourself is willing to check its validity and try.

I thought of several ways like drowning myself in the bathtub and hoping my fingertips would slip on the rims so I couldn’t pull myself up when my body got weak/ holding a knife to my chest while crying/ contemplating on just taking those three steps into the road when I was supposed to get the mail/ jumping off my balcony/ finishing off my oxycodone pills from a wisdom teeth surgery/ etc.

Maybe I’m a coward or was weak, but I could never follow through with it. Just left with that same bottle lying in a medicine basket somewhere or had a brief puncture mark on my chest that just broke the skin with the tip, whatever.

Crying myself to sleep almost every night because it was too much.

Honestly, I think being a coward and weak was the best thing to happen to me.

I lost a boyfriend from how much my anxiety and suicidal thoughts consumed me and had to tell my parents why I was dumped which led to me seeing their faces when I fessed up and said “I’m not happy, I’m not okay”.

It’s funny because I’ve had a cry for help several times through stuff I’ve written and published on fanfic sites, stuff I’ve given to my teacher to read senior year, literally telling my AP Lit class two years ago I was depressed and thought suicidal shit (only 8 of us in that class and teacher) and being told “it’s just like that sometimes, gotta shake it off”, “don’t let people’s words get to you”, “yea, same” and having a teacher pretend like she heard nothing.

That one time I was brave, and I was waved off.

I know there are times where you finally find your voice for that one split second and then you’re ignored, and you feel yourself rescinding back to mute and distant.

I know you’re plastering a smile on constantly to fool others because you’re afraid what will happen when they find out.

It sucks, doesn’t it?

When you hear so many voices in your head playing that record on repeat of the things you most want to forget. Having those nightmares occur where someone takes the final step to push you to your edge. Seeing the annoyed rolling of eyes or blatant show of disinterest of you.

Nine years of schooling, because after 3rd grade, I was just one of those girls who females decided to hate for breathing or asking a question. So nine years I was trying not to victimize myself in my head and justifying why everyone acted the way they did to me.

Teenage girls and teachers alike made my life hell. The girls never gave me the chance and teachers treated me like I was some lost cause that couldn’t even make it to merit roll and like my work was shit.

“Oh, you sure you can make it into the media production film? I don’t think you’ll be able to make shows like you planned. Maybe try for something else.”

“Your writing is, it’s okay. Try harder next time.”

I struggled with grades in high school and wondered if I’d even graduate.

I made the president’s list my first year of college. Got straight A’s. My English professors loved to leave excited feedback on my essays and were amazed how quickly I could conjure one up and fix my own mistakes before peer review.

My professors talked about me to one another and when I met the new ones, they already knew of me.

My history professor begged me to write a poem for a book he’s writing and publishing near 2021.

My creative writing professor attacked me with an email of compliments over a chapter book of poems I wrote where i took them in the order written so it was me at my worst, to me fooling myself, to me losing and falling back, to me trying for help, to me being the best I’ve ever been. >I also made him cry in a class writing experiment with less than 300 words.

(Idk maybe the bitch is that sensitive but he was chill)

My point is: fucking block out what other people say or do to you. Tell someone you trust you need help and stop kidding yourself.

And please, for the love of god, if it is really that bad then do not make yourself so naive into believing a friend or partner can take the brunt of it all and fix you.

It may work for some time, but if you’re still suffering, they will too and neither of you will win in the end.

I took to therapy and it worked. And I dropped all the toxic shit out of my life and moved on.

I may not use social media besides Tumblr or Discord, but I’m more present in life than I was before and not comparing myself to others anymore.

I dropped friends that made me feel bad and bashed things I liked or would cause issues and I have a peace of mind (as much as one can have one during a pandemic and such).

Get the help. Find ways to receive help if you can’t financially afford it. Find that courage to tell someone you trust that listens to you that you are suffering and need that professional help and to be taken seriously.

I was the first to walk the graduation stage of my 2019 class, and I thought I’d be the first of us to die because I couldn’t move past everything I’ve endured from a large majority of them.

I would’ve missed how positively my life turned around.

I would’ve destroyed my parents, little sister, and brother for being so selfish.

I’m the middle child, the good kid with a career in mind and the mediator of the family. And I’m used to not being the favorite but appreciated one.

My dad confessed to me that I was his favorite and I never want to hear it again.

You never want to hear a man you see as the strongest person you know say that while trying not to cry and keep his voice normal, you don’t want to hear “You were always my favorite” said in such a thick voice it brings tears to your eyes.

Your life matters.

This isn’t Sims where you can move on to the next household member. This isn’t like throwing LEGO R2-D2 off a cliff with that iconic scream only or lose a few coins. This isn’t a fucking game.

And I am so sick of hearing people treat it like some quest you get once in your life:

“You’ll be okay.”

“Cheer up.”

“It’s just a phase.”

Etc.

It’s all fucking bullshit. We live in a world that sugarcoats the severity of someone’s life when it’s presented in front of us while on the precipice of shattering.

You deserve to live. Anyone who tells you otherwise is the one who loses the right to be considered human or a person, not you.

Do not let someone dictate your life’s outcome because they don’t agree with you or like you.

And please, for all that is good in this world, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re alright when you don’t feel it.

Hang in for one extra day to gather the strength and tell someone you need help.

Everyone acts so ashamed of it but it was the best thing that happened to me after being such a weak coward and now, I’m genuinely happy. And it was a lot of work to get here.

Want to know where all my angst and suffering had gone to? Just ask the characters in the books and fanfic content I’ve written. I’m sure they don’t appreciate it, but those stories wouldn’t exist if I gave up then.

And believe it or not, people will fucking miss you like hell if you killed yourself. It’s just too hard to see it right now and I was blinded before too.

Not everyone has the same opinion of you. Not everyone matters in your life.

You’re living this life singlehandedly by yourself while surrounded by others experiencing the same thing. Don’t let that opportunity go to waste.

And if you need distractions, indulge yourself in the harmless guilty pleasures like I do.

It can get better if you just open yourself to it.

It can get better if you get help.

You really must be so tired, isn’t it time you stopped pretending?

[avengerscompound]

Looking Up

Looking Up: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x Reader (kinda)

Word Count:  1539

Warnings:  action, canon-typical violence, Clint’s naked and a very proud boyfriend.

Synopsis:  Clint’s day was looking up. His girlfriend slept over for the first time. He’s pretty sure she’s a Jedi. He was having a nice bath. So how is it he’s now running down the street naked from gunmen?

Looking Up

Clint wasn’t exactly sure how things had gone this wrong, but to be fair he was never particularly sure how things ended up the way they did.  It was like he was a magnet for the most embarrassing possible things to happen to people.  You never heard stories about Iron Man getting ambushed while he was in the tub and having to jump out of his window into the dumpster below.  No one ever told stories of Captain America running down the street naked pursued by goons with guns.

Yet here he was running down the street, stark naked covered in trash being pursued by a group of armed thugs.  What made matters worse, he kept passing people and not one of them ever did anything to help.  After all the shit Clint had done for this city he would have hoped that someone, anyone, would do something to help him.  Instead, people just pulled out their cameras and started to film.

“No, please.  Go ahead.”  He yelled as he passed a group of giggling girls standing on the street corner filming as he ran past.  “Make sure you get my good side.  I’m fine by the way.  This is totally normal.”

“Get back here, archer dude!”  One of the thugs tailing him yelled out.

God, not even the hitman sent to kill him knew his call sign.  What was the fucking point?

Today had started so great too.  He had a new girlfriend.  You’d slept over for the first time.  He was pretty sure you were some kind of Jedi even though you kept saying you weren’t, and quite frankly even if that’s not what you were, the powers were the same and that was pretty awesome in his book.  You’d made him coffee and pancakes and bought them to him in bed before you’d headed home.  It was pretty a really great start to the day.

Then when he’d finally gotten up to take a bath, eight dudes had busted in his front door and started to shoot up the place.  He didn’t even have time to grab his bow.  Just his hearing aids off the sink and Lucky, who had landed on top of him when he’d landed in the dumpster, and was now on his heels barking at everyone, completely clean.  Meanwhile, Clint was streaking down Van Buren covered in trash and hoping he’d manage to get to your place without getting shot or stepping in something.

Well, there went that second one.  “What even was that?”  He said looking back over his shoulder to try and glimpse what he had stepped in while he did an awkward hop, run stagger move.  He was pretty sure he’d stepped in dog shit, but the loud bang and subsequent bullet whizzing past his head made him remember there were slightly more pressing matters.

“Shit.  Fuck.  People trying to kill me.  Forgot.”  He cursed as he started running flat out again.

He could see your building up ahead and he doubled down, sprinting as fast as his legs could carrying him, weaving in and out of the onlookers who were all still filming.  “Get inside you idiots, they’re shooting!”  He yelled.  Not that he was exactly sure why he’d warn them.  They weren’t exactly doing him any favors.  He was pretty sure his junk was already on Perez Hilton’s site with some dumbass speech bubble caption with a pun involving birds and peckers.  Probably they’d have his name listed as Hawkguy or something.

He made it to your door and pressed your buzzer.  “Come on, come on, come on.”  He muttered as he scraped his foot on the doormat.  It was dog shit.

In the only god damned stroke of luck, he’d had so far you picked up quickly.  “Hello?”  You said, your voice coming through the intercom crackly and far off.

“Hey, babe.  Could you maybe, let me up?”  There was another bang and a piece of brick exploded on the corner of the entryway.  “Now?”

He thanked the god of awesome girlfriends that instead of questioning him, you just hit the buzzer to let him inside.  He rushed through the security door and shoved it closed as the guys ran around the corner, giving them the finger through the thick security door as they fired at the door handle.

You were on the fourth floor and rather than waste time in the elevator he took the stairs, dashing up three at a time and bursting into the hallway.  You had already come to your door and were standing there waiting for him looking bewildered.  Lucky ran to you, jumping up, his tongue lolling out of his mouth and his tail wagging so fast it was just a blur.  “Hey, buddy.”  You said ruffling his fur before looking up at Clint.  “What’s going on?  Where are your clothes?”

“At home.  I - there was - ah futz.”  He muttered.  “I need you to do your Jedi trick on the guys downstairs.  Kinda now.  They’re trying to kill me.”

“I’m not a Jedi, Clint.  How many times?”  You said rolling your eyes.  “Turning themselves in?”

“Yes, please.”  He said coming over and kissing your cheek.

“Ugh, don’t kiss me.  You stink.”  You said, wrinkling your nose.  “Go inside.  I’ll take care of it.”

Clint went into your apartment and straight to your window, opening it and peering down onto the street below.  He could see the guys below gathered around the entry.  Only five of them were visible, so he assumed that the other three were either attempting to break in, or get someone to let them in.  Or both.  Probably both.

“God, they aren’t smart are they?”  He said to Lucky who had his paws up on the windowsill beside him.  The one-eyed dog wagged his tail and licked Clint’s face.

A moment later the group were all backing up into the street.  Clint turned his hearing aids up.  “Alright, see we’re back.  We just got some questions okay?”  One of the guys said.  You appeared in the street and glanced up.

“Aww, she’s putting on a show,”  Clint said, ruffling Lucky’s fur.  “Don’t tell her I said this but I think I’m falling in love with her you know?”

Lucky barked and wagged his tail faster.

“I think you should all put your guns down on the ground.”  You said waving your hand.  Your voice was raised a little, Clint assumed so he might have a better chance at hearing what was going on.

The eight men all started pulling guns out of pockets and holsters and the waistbands of their pants and putting them on the ground.  You made a gesture with your hands like you were lifting something and the guns all floated into the sky.  You then twisted your wrists and the guns fell apart and clattered to the ground.  The men backed up a little and you thrust your hand forward and made a fist.  “Uh-uh.  Not so fast.”  You shouted.  “You’re going to go to the police department and turn yourself in.  You’re going to confess to them everything you’ve ever done wrong in your lives, starting with the worst.  Then you’re going to snitch on every bad guy you know and not ask for any kind of deal.  Understood?”

The men all nodded their heads, though the fact you were holding them in place stopped them from acting on your instructions.  “Holy shit.”  Clint giggled.

“One last thing.  You’re going to take off all your clothes and walk to the station naked.”  You added releasing them from the force that had been holding them still.

They seemed frozen in place for a second and you waved your hand.  “Hurry up.”

The men all started to strip off as you stood in the street watching them.  Clint looked at Lucky, back down at you and at Lucky again.  “Yeah.  I’m done for.”  He said.

As the men started wandering down the street in the direction of the police station, cop cars began pulling up and surrounding them.  You had already disappeared inside and a few minutes later the front door opened.  Clint grinned at you and skipped over.  “Oh my god.  You are the best Jedi I have ever seen.”

“I’m not a Jedi.  Midichlorians would have been way less painful than what really caused these powers.”  You said.

“Don’t bring up Midichlorians.”  He said and leaned in to kiss you.  He was stopped by an invisible barrier you put up.

“No kissing you stink.  And you’re still naked. Go get in the shower.”  You said.

“Fine,”  Clint said with a smirk.  “Maybe… shower with me?”

You turned him around and pushed him in the direction of your bathroom.  “Get the garbage smell off you first.  Then I’ll join you.”

“Deal.”  He said and started moving on his own.  He stopped and turned back.  “Oh um… you think I can stay with you for a little while?  They shot up my place.”

You shook your head.  “Only you, huh, Clint?”

“Yeah,”  He said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

“Alright.  But shower.  Now.”  You said.

Clint grinned and skipped off to the shower.  Maybe today was going to be alright after all.

[mytwitterisdogtoast1]

Dragonball GT is the worst series of all the Dragonball series.

I recently watched a video created by Totally Not Mark about which series is better out of GT and Super when it came to the franchise in general and part of me remembered my huge dislike towards the series so I figured I’d get on my keyboard and do that good ol’ fashioned “post an opinion” onto Tumblr because that is what the site is mostly for. So Instead of posting about how I think super is better I’m going to just post why the hell GT is a horrible show to me and the things it gets right and why in general the show is horrible. Now before I get into that context I am in no way a super fan or the type of person who says that subs are better than dubs because we all love anime and shouldn’t restrict others from liking their thing because we fill we are superior to each other based on our willingness to read or because we think “that the voice actors in Japan are so much better and you lose the feeling you get when you watch Americans try and fail at it”. Look as a filthy casual who usually never gets angry or upset at most things my reasons for disliking GT aren’t going to be what most people would see as a bad thing or even say the reasons I like GT are the exact same reasons and if you can come to appreciate the reasons I give that’s cool and if you disagree that is fine as well as long as it leads to civil discourse because again, it’s anime and no one is superior in their likes to another just because of some arbitrary reasons. In the end, it’s all just cartoons. So before I get into why i dislike GT at every turn I see it show up I have to praise it for what it does right to me. That is the visuals of the how the characters looks. See I get that it’s like 10 years into the future or something like that and some people now look way too old like Krillin or just don’t show up ever unless it doesn’t matter but with who we got they look great and I would never take away how good they look. Also the villains as much as I will get into them are actually kinda cool in their own right and aren’t the worst ideas just implemented in such a poor manner that any real good they do is kinda mitigated by the fact that they are almost identical to some other villain in the end. So now with that out of the way I’m going to get into why GT is one of the worst anime of all time. At least to me.  So what makes Dragonball so great is it is a comedy genre even near the final seasons. They either had shitty reasons to amass an army or in general did silly things like make a holiday after themselves when they finally succeeded in ruling the world but in the end the genre of action anime is pretty much parodied with how it is a child who goes in and defeats these muscle men. We have a child who was never really raised by a normal adult trying to fit into a world outside of his normal views and fights these villains who against normal people would lose but in the end they all end up losing to a little boy. It’s a nice adventure with laughs and enough action to really get people to enjoy it. As much as I like Dragonball I never really liked it as much as Z. Yes I do know that it is mostly just Z over here in the west but I don’t see them really being the same manga with the shift in tone that the two had and the styles of adventure they ended up having in Z is so vastly different in comparison that to me they are totally different series when compared to each other. Also I was growing up when Z first came over to America so I didn’t see Dragonball until after it made its first debut on Toonami. So again, totally different series to me.  As for Z? Well Z is my favorite anime of all time. It’s by far not the best anime ever but I do believe it is the best action anime of all time for a couple of reasons. 1: I love how in the end they just fight better versions of the previous final boss. Vegeta? That’s just stronger Raditz who can transform. Frieza? That’s just stronger Vegeta who can transform multiple times. Cell? Thats just stronger Frieza who can transform multiple times, Regenerate, Use everyones powers, and also absorb people. You get the picture by now. Everyone else who comes after is just a “better version” of the last and that tickles my fancy. 2: It helped make certain parts of the genre of shonen manga via the introduction of tropes. Transformations weren’t really a thing before Z came along and pretty much every action anime since then has used tropes that Z has introduced. 3: It still holds up today in being a good anime and manga and in general the popularity of it was so big that even now when I’m a 30 something year old that it got a new series to continue even after GT finished it off in Super. These are the reason I think it’s the best action anime of all time but again, feel free to disagree if you want to.  As for why GT is such a shit show to me it all comes down to the fact that it introduces absolutely nothing new when it comes to itself that even the villains and the characters are a little in general copies of other characters. That and no one matters compared to Goku. If we start it off sure we have people like Trunks and Pan and even “insert comedy character who is only here because plot that could just be ignored and even removed” A.K.A. Giru. See the series starts off pretty generic in that Goku is training Uub up in the look out. He just disappeared and is finishing his time in what I assume was a 10 year training session. We are introduced to our first “villains” in Pilaf and his crew. They are finding out about not only gods look out but they also find a new set of dragonballs. Convenient plot details that are either confusing or just there to set up the series. Firstly before I get into that why was this never said before, Why did Bulma never pick up on these dragonballs, Why did pilaf just now find them if he’d been searching his entire life after dragonball? So many questions in general but still. Not the point. The point is this, they don’t have a real reason except to introduce our first main villains. Pilaf and his gang. A little weird when you look at it cause Pilaf has been bested so many times that him succeeding now seems like a stupid thing to happen. Thankfully his success is only to again, push the story. Goku and his gang have to now search for the dragonballs. Which is exactly what happened in Dragonball. This time, it’s across the universe. This is where my ability to really in general compare the shows ends. That is until in general I get to the final stretch. See there are very few things I can equate to Dragonball besides the adventure of the day aspect. You have the obvious nod towards Oolong with Zoonama who both want to marry a girl and end up falling for a boy in drag. You have the fact of Goku with a tech savvy Briefs person as well as a spunky fighter. Goku is a kid. Maybe a couple other things if I looked it up and compared but the main thing is that first section of GT is based heavily on Dragonball in general. The final stretch part begins with the “Red Ribbon Army” copy in the General Rildo part with Dr Myuu who is just also a copy of Android 20. So after this part finishes it kicks into the saiyan saga of DBZ. Baby is by far a complete knock off of 3 villains in DBZ being comprised of Vegeta, Frieza, and Garlic Jr. Why is this so? let’s face it, If you compare those 3 with him its basically a one for one beat on what he does with someone else. Firstly he’s in the body of Vegeta and even when he starts losing he goes and just becomes a great ape. Pretty much what Vegeta does in the first saga of Z. As for Frieza they can both survive in space, Has multiple different forms and lastly he hates saiyans. Now sure the reason is different but the disdain for them is pretty much comparing blue to a lighter shade of blue that looks just like blue. We could even mention that Baby is like Cell in that they are both made by science but the comparisons end there. As for Garlic Jr Baby does the same thing in taking control of people and making them the same as with the black water mist. These are what make Baby pretty much a whole of 3 separate people. Next comes the Androids and cell. Super 17 is pretty much just perfect cell. You have past villains returning to take out Goku. Those of which are Frieza and Cell. Which funny enough Frieza comes back but dies by trunks who warns of 2 androids coming to fight against Goku and kill him. Which comes in the forms of Dr Myuu and Dr Gero. Both of which, are you know, not the main androids being talked about. In fact it’s actually 17 and hell 17. Both of which are going to fuse and make one super android who changes forms into basically cell in that he can absorb energy and also has infinite energy as well. These are basically the main parts except that the end takes multiple people to fight off and kill Super 17. To which they then wish back people with the dragonballs because one of the Z fighters died and they want to bring them back. Seems that it would be fine except for the small little detail of its an evil dark dragon who when after granting the 7th wish he creates these evil dragons. Before I get into those dragons lemme question this. If Kami and Piccolo fused and the dragonballs stopped existing for a bit and it took Dende a new person to create new dragonballs wouldn’t he know of the evil dragons as well as also in general start a new chain thus stopping 7 evil dragons from existing? Oh well, at least we get 7 different dragons for Specifically only Goku to fight against. I can see people saying how can you compare the evil dragons to Buu which it’s a lot easier than you would think. How many different forms of Buu are there? would you guess about maybe 7? Cause there are 7 different forms of Buu. 6 of which are different forms when he absorbs other people. So lets take it this way. Omega Shenron also absorbs 6 different “people” in the 6 different dragonballs that aren’t his. Sure, he only gets one more form in that he has now been transformed into Omega from Syn Shenron but still. Transformations are a check. So what are the 7 different forms of Buu? 1:Kid Buu 2: Buff Buu which is when he absorbs the southern Supreme Kai. 3: Fat Buu which he gets from absorbing the Supreme Kai. 4: Evil old Buu. 5: Super buu. 6: Super buu with Gotenks absorbed. 7: Super Buu with Piccolo absorbed. 8: Piccolo with Gohan absorbed. Now some of you might be saying “that’s 8 different forms of Buu and not 7″ But in the end Syn and Omega are both different “forms” thus making 8 different forms of dragons as well. The main part that gets annoying though is how they defeat Shenron. Firstly they use fusion and then don’t win even though they could have in the end. Why? Arbitrary reasons. See in Z it was because Vegito wanted to be fused to save the others. In GT it’s cause they needed to defeat him with the spirit bomb. Just like they did with Buu. Both spirit bombs are also involving a larger amount of people than normal. In Z it was all of earth. Every person. In GT it was the whole universe. That’s not even the final part of how it’s the same. At the end of Z Goku says goodbye to his friends and fucks off. GT does the exact same thing. The show is honestly pretty much a beat for beat of Dragonball and Z. It adds nothing to the universe and what it does add  is half assed. Things like Vegeta having an epiphany that Goku is better than him twice at the final end villain or having Goku lose a tournament as a child or stuff like that fill in the cracks of the shit cake that is GT with more shit that doesn’t help or make it better. GT even fails to make what it had that was great good. The use of a new level of SSJ to defeat Baby was also used in the same ways of how Kaioken wasn’t enough to beat Frieza and then SSJ was also attained then. Everything is on a bigger scale while being comparable to the smaller scale before it. The reason I don’t compare this with Super as that even when it takes from earlier seasons of DBZ or anything else it is fresh in comparison. Goku and Vegeta doing their rivalry? not beat for beat. Older characters? They have use. Repeat villains? Frieza is almost a completely new person with his arc in that he now knows he needs to train and actually does and also does some good and even respects Goku. That’s why I don’t compare the two because they are incomparable. GT? It’s pretty much a shitty version of what came before it.

[fandom-necromancer]

786. continuation

This was prompted by the amazing @aurea-b! Some hospital cuddles for you!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 part1

Nines had been allowed leave for the time Gavin was at the hospital. Fowler had been understanding, speaking of an emotional compromised state Nines didn’t experience. Of course, he worried about Gavin. Of course, he still reconstructed the events from that day and counted his mistakes, what he could and should have done to prevent this. But he was able to work, could have wrapped up that case, could have written the reports.

Instead he now had to stay in his room, filled only by a stasis unit, an empty bookcase and an armchair (his attempt to find himself a hobby). He could have spent his time until Gavin’s recovery in stasis, but the human sent him little messages whenever he was awake and not surrounded by doctors. He didn’t want to miss any of them, even if most were just: I’m bored tin-can. What are you doing at the moment? Any news at the precinct? Nines answered them immediately, but his lack of stories to tell was a bit problematic. It often shifted to the man sending him random photos and jokes he didn’t always understand.

Hey, Nines, would you mind visiting me sometime? I’m sick of seeing only nurses and sick people. Nines stared at the notification in his HUD, not really sure what to make of it. Also, I’m still mad at you for leaving last time. He sent a winking smiley afterwards, that had Nines immediately thinking of his overly emotional reaction. He didn’t regret it at all, the opposite even: He wanted more. Still it felt… weird thinking back at it. I will visit you as soon as I can make it, Nines send back as if he had anything that would keep him from getting the next taxi over to the hospital immediately. Well… Maybe he had. He researched what was common practise if someone dear was in hospital. Apparently, gifts were necessary. Flowers to make the room more homely. Nines rushed through several articles, gathering information until he felt adequately prepared. I’ll be there in two hours, I still have something to get from the mall.

-

To say he was bored was an understatement. He was too bored to fall asleep and God knew he needed that break to catch up on it. He was perfectly rested, and the pain medication did its part in making him restless. He ached to move, the walk down to the cafeteria just wasn’t enough to calm this urge. Nines immediate answers helped to calm his nerves a bit. Did the android wait for them? Or was it simply the fact that every text pinged in his head directly and the most advanced android Cyberlife ever created was probably able to multitask. But the thought of that kiss, of the stoic android that emotional over him being shot… Oh, if that didn’t just do the best things to him. He hoped it wasn’t just confusion that had prompted the android to behave like that. Maybe there just had been an overload of emotions and something had snapped. Or maybe, just maybe… Maybe there was more.

He turned in his bed, scrolling through stuff on his phone, playing mindless games, scrolling some more until he was even more bored than before. Maybe a quick nap? Gavin yawned without being tired and closed his eyes. God, he couldn’t wait until Nines finally arrived. Maybe he had smuggled some work out of the precinct. Something he could occupy his mind with. Maybe he went shopping first to get him some coffee that wasn’t just the solvable instant shit he had on his room. Ah, phck, just seeing a familiar face would be more than enough. He shook his head and pulled up the blankets to carefully cover his bandaged torso. Just a quick nap to let the time pass faster.

-

Nines sat in a chair next to Gavin’s bed and waited, just silently observing the sleeping human. Scans of his vitals showed him, the wounds were healing slowly, the body regenerating cell after cell to restore him. It also handed him further information: The man’s usual bags under his eyes had disappeared now that he got enough sleep, he looked more relaxed and at peace than Nines had ever seen him, although constantly laying in bed had him tense with energy.

He just waited, not daring to wake the man up. He just sat there, observing. Once Gavin turned in his sleep his arm hung loose over the blanket, hand resting next to his face. Nines knew what he was about to do wasn’t [logical], not [professional] at all and probably an overall bad idea. But it didn’t take long until he gave in to the urge and gently brushed over Gavin’s hand from the wrist to his fingers. He repeated the motion carefully, but this time the human stirred and grabbed his hand, holding it loosely. Nines looked up to his face startled, but there was only a smile as he began to wake up.

‘Morning, tin-can’, he mumbled with half-lidded eyes, squeezing the android’s hand. Nines looked out for any sign this was wrong, but when Gavin’s face turned into a display of shock, it wasn’t directed at him, but behind his body. Immediately Gavin was fully awake and sat up, Nines’ hand still in his. ‘Err… Nines, what is all this?’ The android turned, and his LED turned yellow.

There were two large bouquets of flowers, brightly coloured balloons with several different takes of “get well soon” printed all over them, a few cards, a basket of sweets and just to top it all off a stuffed bandaged teddy holding a sign that said “I wuv u” with the worst uwu-expression on it’s face. Gavin looked from the gifts to Nines and back. ‘The phck?’ ‘According to my research it is custom to bring gifts when a loved one is in hospital.’ Gavin laughed openly. ‘Nines, ONE gift, if at all. Looks like you bought the whole store!’ ‘The site didn’t specify on the amount’, Nines admitted without any sign of regret. ‘Hah, I see that. Hey, Nines, it almost looks like I’m popular now!’ Nines looked down on his hand. ‘Didn’t your brother come?’ ‘He doesn’t know. I didn’t tell him.’ ‘Gavin, always being alone isn’t healthy.’ ‘Yeah, tell me about it. I guess you are just as alone at the precinct. Although I guess you got Connor.’ ‘I got leave from work, Gavin’, he answered. ‘I’m staying home.’ ‘Oh.’ Gavin looked confused for a moment, then chuckled. ‘Guess that’s nice.’ ‘It isn’t’, the android shook his head. ‘I don’t know what to do. I just… I often recall what happened. I could have prevented it. You could be fine now, had I reacted differently.’

The grip on his hand got stronger, bordered pain as Gavin looked up to that red LED. ‘Shit, Nines, hey! You are alright, okay? I am too. I’m alive, am I not? I… Hey, Nines? Get the teddy.’ Taken aback, the android followed the order and handed it to Gavin, who inspected it, then held it close. ‘Now come on, get in here.’ Again, the android nodded and did as told. Only then, the memories of the incident were lost to him and the human leaned against him. ‘Nines? Thank you for the gifts, they are awesome. And thank you for coming. But you know what? This also has something fantastic about it: You don’t have anywhere to be, right?’ Nines nodded, watching how Gavin ran his fingers over the stitched letters. ‘Then I have you all for myself and you don’t have an excuse to leave, right?’ Nines smiled and nodded again. ‘That appears to be correct, Detective.’ ‘Hell yeah.’

[writersmacchiato]

Summary: In their podcast Oh, Wicked? Pitts and Meeks discuss their latest case with a special appearance from Y/N - their eye witness to an unusual siting deep in the woods. However, they aren’t sure what happened and only you know the answer to that. 

{Part One}

———

“Welcome to another episode of Oh, Wicked?”

[Theme song plays]

Pitts: Today we’re discussing a local favorite: the Russell family.

Meeks: The Russell family were a prominent name in the town of Morin Harbor, a small coastal area that relied on ships to bring in trade. John Russell and his wife Martha had three kids: John, Molly, and Billy. The two oldest would die in childbirth, leaving only Billy.

Pitts: Billy was considered to be a normal child during that time period. He wasn’t interested in his studies, but rather following in the footsteps of his father who was a sea captain. His mother disapproved, but his father was delighted. Billy grew up learning the trade. Although, he seemed like any other kid, Billy would often be found on the cliffs on the edge of town. His mother was worried that he would kill himself.

Meeks: So imagine that you’re just a towns-person back then, during the depression, and you’re watering your crops or something and you see little Billy over yonder by the cliffs.

Pitts: Just little ole’ Billy chilling by the cliffs, no biggie.

Meeks: Ironically nothing happens there.

Pitts: Martha was concerned about her son’s safety but it would be her daughter-in-law that she would have to be worried about. Only she didn’t know it at the time.

Meeks: When World War One began, Billy enlists into the navy and he serves two years before he’s sent home. A lot of fucked up shit happens to Billy and he doesn’t come back the same man.

Pitts: The townspeople are like ‘oh it’s Billy Russell, what a sweet kid’. And Billy is definitely not the same sweet kid they remember.

Meeks: Billy had gotten married before he enlisted and his wife, Margaret, had gotten pregnant before he left. His son James was two years old when he came back from the war. It was hard making the adjustment. Margaret wrote to her sister and quote, “it’s like living with a stranger. I do not know the man who sleeps beside me.” End quote.

Pitts: That’s kinda sad…like imagine that you wait all those years for your husband to come home and when he does, it’s not the same man.

Meeks: Yeah…it’s sad.

Pitts: And, that’s just how it was back then. They didn’t have PTSD or ways to treat those symptoms.

Meeks: they just sorta fucked up shit and everyone was like ‘oh you know how the war changes people’.

Pitts: I mean…that doesn’t justify murdering your family, but back then it probably would’ve passed.

[Meeks laughs]

Meeks: ‘Oh no, a murder! Alas, he had…the touch of war upon him so it’s no biggie. .’

Pitts, laughing: That’s fucked up.

Meeks: Anyway, you have Billy Russell and he’s changed because of the war. His wife is pregnant with their second child and that’s when it all goes downhill…

[Audio clip of thunder plays]

Meeks, continues: So, pregnant yet again, Margaret expresses concern to her mother. Her mother basically tells her she’s a bad wife and mother and that she needs to pray to god more. Usual mother/daughter talk.

Pitts: So…back then, women had to basically take whatever shit men gave them on top of what the other women also gave them. It’s awful. I would like to apologize on all men’s behalf to women. You deserve so much more than what you’ve been given.

Meeks: That was touching. And off track.

Pitts: Margaret is deeply depressed and doesn’t notice the darkness that is consuming Billy. Or rather doesn’t want to know. Her son James even expresses concern, but she tells him to pray to God and everything will be fine.

Meeks: ‘I’m afraid that papa will murder me in my sleep’. ‘Don’t worry James, just pray to god and he’ll protect you always’. Like, what!? It blows my mind…

Pitts: Perhaps one of the most well known stories of Morin Harbor is the Russell Family. Specifically what locals coined ‘The Rush to Madness’.

Meeks: …I give them negative points for that title.

Pitts: It’s just like any other night. Margaret makes supper, cleans their house, and prepares the kids for bed. Mary is still young enough to sleep in her own cot in the sitting room. James would sleep next to her on a mattress to look out for Mary. Billy would stand at the edge of the cliffs, like he did when he was a boy. When he comes in, Margaret can sense a change in him, and fretfully goes to bed with James. She reads him a story, before falling asleep.

[Pitts clears his throat]

Pitts, continued: Unknown to him then, but that is the last time James will ever see his mother again. Hearing strange noises from his sister, he goes to investigate. Billy has killed baby Mary. Scared, James flees the house into the woods. Never to be seen again. When the locals found out what Billy did, they had him hung in the town square. They never recovered a body for James. Margaret and Mary are buried on the cliffs, in the old cemetery.

Meeks: It’s horrific what happened to the Russell family.

[Pitts sighs]

Meeks, continued: Every town has something bad in them, and Morin Harbor unfortunately is rife with bad things.

Pitts: There are a lot of theories of what happened that night. The most popular, and widely accepted, is that Billy Russell snapped that night. Having to hear his baby cry every night, getting little sleep, and feeling like a stranger in his home caused him to lose his sanity.

Meeks: What’s known about him, with the war and all, it’s likely that’s what happened. What interests me, though, is that they never recovered the body of James. A farmer saw Billy wandering the woods, covered in blood, and they searched for weeks but never found James.

Pitts: Another theory is that Billy saw something that made him kill his family. He struggled with his involvement with the war, but he was never a violent man. The cliffs were dangerous back then, hard to reach, with loose, shaky ground. Early reports, when Morin Harbor was just beginning, had sailors speaking of Sirens—

Meeks: Sirens?

[Pitts sighs]

Pitts, annoyed: We’ve been over this. Meeks is the worst with lore.

Meeks: I just block out seventy percent of what you say.

Pitts: A Siren would lure sailors with their voices, singing to them, to crash their boats on the rocky shores of their islands.

Meeks: So, how would Morin have Sirens? It isn’t an island.

Pitts: Morin Harbor is surrounded by three bodies of water, with only one way out. It can only be left during low tide, the bridge is too dangerous to cross otherwise. It’s not unlikely for a Siren to be here.

Meeks: Okay, you’ve convinced me.

Pitts: Shut up. So, there were reports of Sirens in Morin. Some people speculated that when Billy was at the cliffs, he heard the Siren song, and went back to kill his family, driven by the Siren.

Meeks: I mean…that’s kind of far stretched.

Pitts: That’s just one of the theories. Something akin to an urban legend is what happened to James Russell.

Meeks: Every kid raised in Morin Harbor was told to stay out of the woods.

Pitts: The ghost of Billy Russell would take your soul, to have something to play with, if you went into the woods.

Meeks: I’ve never been in the woods.

Pitts: I have. A couple different times, on Halloween.

Meeks: Idiot.

Pitts: Nothing ever happened! But the air is different in the woods, like something is there…

Meeks: Could it be…your adrenaline?

Pitts: Nothing is certain.

Meeks: So, residents of Morin Harbor, be careful of where you wander…You never know what may be lurking.

Pitts: Thanks for listening. Until next time.

[Theme song plays]

…

You take off the headphones, setting them on the table. Turning around, Meeks and Pitts look expectantly for a reaction.

“So?” Pitts pushes, too eager to wait. “What’d you think?”

“I should’ve been listening to Oh, Wicked from the first episode.”

Pitts looks delighted, Meeks’ smiling to himself.

“So, when do I come in?”

“Well about that.” Meeks’ looks at Pitts. “We kinda…should we talk about it? What happened?”

“What happened when we got separated?”

What did happen...

___

The next part will depend on the character, but focus on that character relationship with the reader. It will either be Neil or Pitts next! 

everything tags: @venusstarlight108 @knivestheresnothingtoit @awesomefaith14 @ardentmuse @salladwinston @maddieb97222 @anchy-bananchy @staygoldponebone @unique05sstuff

dps tags: @ponyboyvhs @scribblestarsonthecuffsofurjeans

[waywardaardvark79]

Check Yes or No Part 5: Pb&J, Ding Dongs, and Beef Jerky

Summary: You've been best friends with Dean Winchester since childhood. When you finally realize what's been in front of you this entire time will secrets threaten to destroy what you have before it really even begins.

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: language

 On the walk to your car you were making a mental checklist of everything you still had to do today. You had to stop by the shop and finish clean up, bring Charlie her computer, and also start trying to find a replacement for her. Thank God you had tomorrow off. 

You were trying to think if you knew anyone off the top of your head that would be a good temporary replacement for Charlie, but your thoughts kept drifting to your elevator ride. You had never really cared for Lisa Braeden, even before she had started dating Dean. You had tried your best to put aside your differences and actually give her a chance when Dean started dating her, but it didn't last very long. 

You always felt that she had an ulterior motive or hidden agenda behind everything that she did. Her "permanent roots" comment played on a loop in your head, and you couldn't help the knot that formed in the pit of your stomach. You tried to shake the feeling. Lisa Braeden was the least of your concerns right now. 

       Back at the shop you busied yourself with clean up and trying to find the help wanted sign. You cursed yourself for being so disorganized. You were so lost in your own world that you didn't hear the bell above the door chime. You were bent down searching under the front counter when you mumbled aloud, "If I were a help wanted sign where would I be?"

 "Try the window." someone said. 

You quickly jumped up, startled by the reply, and banged your head on the underside of the counter. "Oh, fuck!" you shouted as you quickly cradled your head in your hands. 

You didn't have to open your eyes to know who was the current cause of your injury. You would know that voice anywhere. "Thanks for that, Captain Obvious, but don't you think if I knew where the sign was it'd be in the window."  you said. 

Dean chuckled as you resumed your position and continued your search. "What do you need the help wanted sign for?" asked Dean.

 You popped back up, your hands full of different papers, "Didn't you get my message?" you asked. 

‘Dean shook his head, "My phone died." he said. 

 "Oh, well, I told Benny to tell you, but I guess he forgot, umm, Charlie had an accident. It wasn't anything too bad. She's a little beaten up, and has a broken leg. So, I need to find a temporary replacement for her until she gets back on her feet." you explained as you started to flip through the papers you had pulled from the counter. "Also, you will never fucking guess who I ran into at the hospital. Holy shit. Look at this." you said. 

You handed over the picture you found. It was a picture of you and Dean from your first day at the bakery. You remembered being so nervous to start the job, and Dean offered to drive you. Your mother, who insisted on photographing every moment of your childhood, followed along.

 She just had to get a picture on her baby's first day. You remembered her directing you to stand in front of the window as she ordered you to smile. She ordered Dean to stand next to you and much to your surprise he happily joined you. He slung an arm over your shoulder, and you both smiled brightly into the camera.

 Dean smiled at the picture, walked over to the chalkboard that held the daily specials, and tucked it into the corner. "You were scared to death." he said as he turned back to face you. 

"Yeah, I was. I was scared I was gonna screw up and get fired on my first day." you said. 

He pulled you to him, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. "And what did I tell you?" he asked. 

"Some sappy bullshit about me being perfect, and how great I was gonna do. Then I'm pretty sure you asked me to smuggle you home some pie." you said as you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

"And once again I was right." he said. 

You rose up on your toes, and gave him a quick peck on the lips, "I'll never admit to that." you said. 

You wiggled free from his grasp. "Come on. Let's get outta here." he said. 

 You sighed, "I really want to, but I still have to take Charlie her computer, and find the fucking sign, and." you said. 

 Dean cut you off, "Take Charlie her stuff, forget about the sign, and go home and get ready." he said. 

 "Ready for what?" you asked.

 "Our date." he said. 

 Dean started to drag you towards the door. "Our date?" you asked as you grabbed your purse and keys. 

"You did agree to go on one with me." He came to a stop and turned to face you, "Don't tell me you're backin' out on me." he said. 

"You can't get rid of me that easy." you teased. 

"I never want to get rid of you. I'll pick you up at seven." he said before pulling you in for a kiss, and walking out the door. 

           You stood in front of your closet trying to decide what to wear. You didn't want to wear something really formal, but you didn't know if your usual jeans and a t-shirt would be appropriate.

 Normally on a first date you would dress a little formal, but this was Dean. Did it matter? Technically it was a first date, but the man had seen you on your worst days.

 You finally decided on a nicer pair of jeans, which for you meant no holes, and a form fitting black tank top. You threw on some light make up and let your hair hang loose. 

You were checking yourself in the mirror when you heard a knock at the door. "Who in the hell is that?" you asked yourself as you walked to the door. You looked out  the peephole to see Dean, his hands behind his back, bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet.  

You opened the door and he quickly stilled and cleared his throat, "Hi. Wow, you look great." he said. 

 He started to sway back and forth on his feet a little. Was he nervous? "I, uh, brought you these." he said as he handed you a small bouquet of your favorite flowers.

 "They're beautiful." You watched as he brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck. "Why are you nervous?" you asked as you walked into the kitchen to put the flowers in some water.

 "I'm not." he said. 

 You turned to look at him, "You look like you want to jump outta your skin. De, you've known me since we were five. We've had sex. You don't have anything to be nervous about." you said. 

 He took a deep breath, "I just really don't want to mess this up." he said. 

You sat the vase on the counter and grabbed your keys before walking over to Dean and lacing your fingers with his, "You're perfect. You're gonna do great." you said. He rolled his eyes at you and tried to look annoyed, but you could see the hint of a smile that he was trying to hide. 

         When you got to the car he opened the door for you. You slid inside and watched as he rounded the front of the car before plopping down into the driver's seat. You waited for him to start the car, but he sat there looking at you. "I got something on my face?" you asked. 

 "Nah, I just like looking at ya." he said. 

 "Let's go, Romeo." you said. 

He held up one finger, "I need you to do something first." he said. 

 You turned your full attention to him and nervously replied, "Ok." 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a blindfold. "Put this on." he said. 

 You let out a heavy sigh, "Really?"

 Dean gave you his best puppy dog eyes, and you snatched the blindfold from his hand. "You know I hate surprises." you grumbled. 

He started the car, "Actually, you just like to tell people that. You secretly love them."’ he said. 

 "You secretly love them." you mocked as you crossed your arms over your chest. Dean cranked up the radio to drown out the 100 questions he knew you would have and pulled out onto the road. 

      You sat there silently trying to rack your brain to figure out where he was taking you. You were coming up empty until you felt the car slow and noticed the uneven terrain. 

You smiled to yourself. You knew exactly where you were going. A few moments later the car came to a stop and Dean turned the radio off. You turned in your seat, the blindfold still on, and asked, "Your dad and Uncle Bobby' s scrap yard?” you asked.

The blindfold was suddenly ripped from your eyes, "How in the hell did you figure that out?" he asked. 

You shrugged your shoulders, "I had no idea until I felt the gravel. It's only fitting that our first date be at our spot." you said. 

He threw his head back against the seat, "I wanted it to be a surprise." he said. 

 You suddenly felt really guilty, grabbed the blindfold from him and put it back on. "Come on, Winchester. You owe me a date."

 You didn't see the smile that spread across his face, "Sit tight for a minute." he said. 

    You heard him get out and close his door. The sound of the backdoor opening, some rustling around, and the door closing is what greeted you next. Your door was pulled open next and you held out your hand for guidance. Dean pulled you to your feet, closed the door, and started guiding you forward. 

You were pretty sure you knew exactly where you were headed, but didn't want to ruin the surprise. "Ok, just stand here for a second." he said as he let go of your hand. You heard him moving around as you stood and waited for him. "Ok, you can look." he said. 

You slowly peeled off the blindfold and your breath caught in your throat as you took in the site in front of you. The beat up old truck that you spent many days playing in as children, and that you had decided was your spot when you were older sat before you just as you remembered it.

 However, Dean had sat candles on the hood, had blankets and pillows laid out in the back, and a cooler sat near one of the long deflated tires. You turned to him, your eyes glassy with tears, "It's perfect." you said. 

 He shrugged and kicked at the dirt with the toe of his boot, "S'just a beat up old truck."  he said. You started to shake your head no, and tell him what you thought, but he quickly cut in, "This was stupid. I should have taken you to a nice restaurant or something." he said. 

 You grabbed his hand, "De, this is perfect."

 "You don't have to say that." he said. 

"I do. I would want this over a fancy restaurant any day. This is our spot. It's perfect. Really." you said. 

 He gave you a shy smile and pulled you forward. He yanked open the passenger side door and you scooted onto the old cracked leather seat. He left the door open as he went around to the other side to join you. "Open it." he said motioning towards the glove compartment. 

You popped it open, "No way." you said as you quickly gathered up the contents.

 You looked over the little notes you had written each other as children, the snapshots of you guys together, and the little trinkets that both of you thought were once so important. 

You raised your hand and wiped away a stray tear, "You saved all this?" 

He nodded his head. "You always used to say that's where we should keep our important stuff. That's important stuff." he said. 

You quietly looked through the notes and laughed under your breath at one. You handed it over to Dean. He looked down at the faded paper. His own messy handwriting staring him in the face. "Will you be my best friend?" he  read out.

 "I  kind of broke the rules on that one." you said as you pointed to the bottom of the paper.

 The usual square boxes with the words yes and no were there, but you had written in your own answer at the bottom. Dean raised his hand and traced the check mark you had made in your own box next to the word forever and smiled. 

"You know I love you, right? I mean, I know that it might seem fast and we have really only been something for a couple days, but you gotta know.." he said. 

 "I love you too, De." you interrupted. 

 You can't remember the last time you saw him smile that big. He pulled you over to him and leaned in until his lips were just inches from yours, "Say it again." he said.

 "I love you, De." you said. 

 He crashed his lips into yours. Your arms quickly wrapped around his neck and you pulled yourself closer to him. He broke the kiss, "Say it one last time."

 You whispered, "I love you." against his lips. You pulled back and looked at him, "That won't be the last time." you said. 

He looked back at you with a look of worry that you didn't understand, "You promise?" he asked. 

You leaned in and kissed him, brought your hand down to his chest and traced a check mark over his heart, "Yes." you said. 

 You didn't understand the relief that seemed to wash over him at that moment, and before you could question it he was pulling you out the door. "Time for part two." he said as he led you to the tail gate of the truck. 

You climbed up and sat back against one of the pillows as he lifted the cooler and a backpack up to join you. He sat next to you and asked, "Do you remember when we were like seven and we decided...." he said. 

 "To run away." you finished for him.

 He nodded, "We each packed a bag, and came out here." he said. 

You laughed at the memory, "It seemed so far away at the time. It felt like we rode our bikes forever to get here." you said. 

"Do you remember what we packed?" he asked. 

You shook your head no. He opened up the backpack and started pulling things out, "Pb and  j, ding dongs, and beef jerky." he said. 

 You giggled, "That is pretty much still my diet." 

He nodded his head, "I know."

 He opened the cooler and pulled out two juice boxes and handed you one. You smiled, "You would always give me the apple one because I didn't like grape." you said. 

 He pulled out one last thing. You couldn't tell what it was at first until you heard the familiar cracking sound, "You made sure to pack glowsticks in your bag because you knew I was scared of the dark." he  said as he laid the glowstick between the two of you. 

"Wasn't your dad the one who found us?” you asked. 

 Dean nodded, "Said he found us curled up together in the front seat." 

You laced your fingers with his, "I hope you know how perfect all of this really is.” you said. 

 He laid back against the pillow and pulled you down next to him. You laid there and talked for hours. Dean noticed that you had been quiet and looked down to see you sleeping. 

He eased himself out from under you, and quietly picked everything up. He placed everything in the seat of the old truck, deciding that he would come back for everything tomorrow. He climbed back into the bed of the truck and gently shook your shoulder, "Come on sweetheart. Let's go home." he said. 

        You had made it back to your apartment. Dean was already in bed waiting for you while you brushed your teeth. You heard your phone ringing and yelled for Dean to see who it was. "It's Charlie." he said. 

 "Answer it. I'll be there in a minute." you yelled back. 

You walked into your bedroom a moment later. "Everything alright?" you asked as you crawled into bed and flipped off the light.

 He pulled you into his side, "Yeah, she just wanted to tell you to check out the ads she put up." he said. 

You sleepily nodded. "M'kay." 

You were almost asleep when you heard Dean clear his throat, "Charlie said you ran into someone at the hospital today."

 "Mhmmm." you hummed. 

 "Who was it?" he asked. 

"Lisa Braeden." you said with a yawn. 

You felt Dean tense for a moment. "Let's just talk about it tomorrow, De. I'm so tired. Love you." you said. 

 "Love you too, sweetheart." he replied. 

Dean stared at your ceiling unable to sleep. Everything had went so perfect tonight, and the mention of one name had pulled the curtain back, and forced him to look at reality.

[me-mindfulexistence]

100 Ridiculous “Get To Know Me Questions”....And What My Husband Guessed I Said.

 Need something to do?  Share some “get to know me questions” with your friends and family”.   

I answered 100 “Get to know me questions” alone...and then later I asked my husband what he thought my answer would be. How many did we match? 

1.Who is your hero?  (me) No one in particular. Anyone who stands up for the underdog, (Fights for the weaker person, feels compassion and empathy for humans and animals....but actually does something about it besides running their mouth) Ron:  No one      CORRECT

2.If you could live anywhere,  where would it be? Somewhere very very warm, with very few people and all  of my children (Ron) Somewhere warm and sunny           CORRECT

3.What is your biggest fear?   Losing my husband or children. (Ron) something happening to my kids/family            CORRECT

4.What was your favorite family vacation? N. Carolina, time on the beach with my family. (Ron) N. Carolina           CORRECT

5.What would you change about yourself if you could?  Rid myself of self-doubt and anxiety. I’d be unstoppable! (Ron) To be more extroverted and outgoing.                        CORRECT

6.What really makes you angry? Oodles  of things. People acting like the boys we took into our family, aren’t “real” family, racial discrimination, animal abuse, bullying, gender stereotypes, and religion (Ron) “Oh jez! Incompetent people”                       WRONG

7.What motivates you to work hard?  My family and their success. (Ron) To Help others                           WRONG.

8.What is your favorite thing about your career?  Wanting my patients to feel better about themselves and giving them an improved quality of  life. (Ron) Helping people                     CORRECT

9.Coke or Pepsi? Coke (Ron) coke             CORRECT

10.What is your proudest  accomplishment? Besides my having family, getting my BJJ black belt. (Ron) being a mother         CORRECT

11.When did you meet for the first time? Was it a connection? Friends introduced us at his work, Moyer and Son. Nope, no connection!. (Ron) Moyer and son, I don’t think you spoke to me. no connection   CORRECT

12.Favorite TV cartoon growing up as a kid?  Scooby Doo. (Ron) I have no idea, I didn’t watch cartoons as a kid, Tom and Jerry?   WRONG

13.Who makes you laugh the most?     My husband. (Ron) me   CORRECT

14.What would you be willing to do for a million dollars? Almost anything as long as my husband was okay with it and it didn’t hurt anything else. (Ron) eat red meat      WRONG

15.What did you want to be when  you were small?  A teacher. (Ron) heavier                WRONG

16.Do you want to be buried, Cremated, have your body donated to science or do some kind of eco-friendly burial when you die?  The funeral market is a scam and it’s polluting the planet! Eco-friendly method on a green burial site. NO Coffin! (Ron) eco-friendly burial, or some shit like that.                  CORRECT

17.If you could choose to do  anything for a day, what would it be?  African Safari.  (Ron) nothing               WRONG

18.What is your favorite game or  sport to watch and play?  Brazilian  Jiu-jitsu. (Ron) BJJ                     CORRECT

19.What household chore do you like the least? Cleaning the bathroom.  (Ron) cleaning in general               WRONG

20.What would you sing at Karaoke night?  LOVE LOVE LOVE SINGING!  Sinead O’Connor, Nothing Compares To You (and about 100 more songs). (Ron) Beastie Boys, fight for you right to party      WRONG

21.What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? SiriusXM 100, 101. (Ron) The two Howard Stations         CORRECT

22.Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Mow the lawn (if it’s hot outside), otherwise vacuum. (Ron)   mow               CORRECT

23.Favorite color? Yellow.  (Ron) black          WRONG

24.If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? salad with lots of stuff in it. (Ron)   lobster         WRONG

25.How do you feel about adoption? Bring em’ on. Babies of any age! The more the merrier. (Ron) strongly           CORRECT

26. Have you ever had a nickname? What is it?  Sher (pronounced “Share”). (Ron) Dukers              WRONG

27.  Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Hate surprises. I wanna know.  (Ron) no, don’t like being center of attention     CORRECT

28.  In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read?  Ummm. Do nothing, so watch a movie I guess. (Ron) movie     CORRECT

29. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii b/c it’s hot. (Ron) Hawaii b/c it’s warm and has beaches           CORRECT

30. Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why?  Lottery b/c then I could still work at the “perfect job” as much or little as I wanted. (Ron) work at perfect job, b/c you’d be happy and help people   WRONG

  31. Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? My husband. (Ron) me         CORRECT 

   32. If money was no object, what would you do all day? Create my utopia, an animal rescue. (Ron) Some kind of crap with animals         CORRECT 

     33. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 1995 (after college).  (Ron) 1978        WRONG

   34. How would your friends describe you?  I’m not sure. Stubborn, strong willed? Sensitive. (Ron) passionate          WRONG

   35. What are your hobbies? Momming. Jiu-jitsu. Animal stuff. (Ron)  teaching bjj and pets              CORRECT

   36. What is the best gift you have been given?  My family. (and my jukebox that breaks all the time). (Ron) children           CORRECT

   37. What is the worst gift you have received? Anything that has to do with cleaning. (Ron) dryer vent              CORRECT

   38. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My animals….esp my dog Mable! (Ron) exercise    WRONG

   39. List two pet peeves: My husband yelling about my animals, my kids not doing their chores. (Ron) me groping you, bad drivers      WRONG

   40. Where do you see yourself in five years? Wanting more kids (Ron) here                        WRONG

41. How many pairs of shoes do you own? idk10?,  the same shoes I had 5 years ago (although I’ll replace my sneakers once or twice a year). (Ron) 10     CORRECT 

   42. If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? I could be invisible. (Ron) strength                WRONG

   43. What would you do if you won the lottery? Quit my  job and Open an animal sanctuary. (Ron) pay off all debt             WRONG

   44. Finish things as soon as possible or wait until the last minute? Wait until the last minute. (Ron) wait until the last minute            CORRECT 

   45. What unconscious mannerism do you display if you are upset or uncomfortable in a situation?  I become very quiet... (Ron) chew face   WRONG

   46. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?  How I acted as a teenager. I could be pretty rotten. (Ron) not throwing poop out a window            WRONG

   47. If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? Jim Morrison, Jimmy Hendrix,  mommom, and God. (Ron) all your grandparents but especially your mommom Knipe           WRONG

   48. How do you feel about group vacations with other couples? That sounds awful. (Ron) not happening               CORRECT        

         49. What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)?  An entire day when I was young, partying all night. (Ron) 24hrs partying       CORRECT 

   50. How Do you handle anger?  I bottle it up for a while and get quiet. (Ron) not well, you get quiet             CORRECT

51. Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? Interesting question! I’m already getting close to hitting the wall with looks….but I also can’t afford to lose any intelligence either. I’d have to trade looks for more intelligence.  (Ron) intelligence for looks             WRONG

   52. How often do you buy clothes? Almost never. (Ron)   not often     CORRECT 

   53. Have you ever had a secret admirer?  Probably (who hasn’t). It would be secret. (Ron) probably              CORRECT 

   54. What's your favorite holiday? CHRISTMAS! (Ron) Christmas        CORRECT 

   55. What do you drink when you go out for social occasions?  Coke (not diet either). (Ron) water or coke                  CORRECT 

   56. What was the last thing you recorded on TV?  True blood. (Ron) SNL   WRONG

   57. Do you prefer the live version or studio version of an album? Studio. (Ron) Studio             CORRECT 

   58. What's your favorite type of foreign food? Mexican. (Ron) mexican      CORRECT 

   59. Are you a clean or messy person? Pretty Messy. (Ron) messy       CORRECT 

   60. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Uma Thurman. (Ron) Uma Thurman             CORRECT 

   61. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 30mins (Ron) 1hr             WRONG

   62. What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Dishwasher. (Ron) microwave              WRONG

   63. What's your favorite fast food chain?  Taco Bell. (Ron) taco bell       CORRECT 

   64. What's your favorite family recipe or dish?  mommoms apple pie.  (Ron)  Mommoms apple pie           CORRECT 

   65. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? Love. (Ron) Love      CORRECT 

   66. What's your favorite family tradition?  Christmas Morning Breakfast at my moms. (Ron) Christmas Eve          CORRECT  

   67. What is your favorite childhood memory? Having baby bunnies with my dad. (Ron) I have no idea           WRONG

   68. What's your favorite movie? Natural Born Killers (Ron) Pulp fiction  WRONG

   69. How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Devastating. I wanted to believe forever. I was forced to “not believe” at about 12. My aunt said on Christmas day “You know Santas not real, right?”.  Ugh. (Ron) 8, I think your friend Dorene probably told you.   WRONG

   70. Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty….just waiting for the other shoe to drop. (Ron) Half empty         CORRECT 

   71. What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Dating my husband was risky. (Ron) got married          WRONG

   72. What is your favorite chip flavor? Salt and vinegar. (Ron) salt and vinegar             CORRECT 

   73. What was your favorite subject in school?  Science. (Ron) none   WRONG

   74. What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten?  I’m not very daring. Seaweed. (Ron) I have no idea, you really don’t care for food   WRONG

   75. Do you collect anything? Unwanted animals. (Ron) records     WRONG

   76. Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion?  Bell bottoms. (Ron) The 70s                  WRONG

   77. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert.  (Ron) Introvert        CORRECT 

   78. Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? touch. (Ron) You have a nose like a dog                   WRONG

   79. Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise)  Nope…and I don’t want one. (Ron) No                  CORRECT  

   80. Best quality and worst quality?  Best-compassionate/empathetic,  Worst-Too compassionate/empathetic to a fault. (Ron) best-caring, worst-caring too much                    CORRECT 

   81. What do you do to keep fit? Brazilian Jiu-jitsu but I also just exercise to not be a big lump of (Ron) BJJ and exercise            CORRECT

   82. Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken?  I say “wrong is wrong, damn it”. (Ron) Never a wrong time to do the right thing never a right time to do the wrong thing                   WRONG

   83. If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce?  ALL KINDS OF RULES about limiting the use of animals for consumption. NO FACTORY FARMS! (Ron) NO killing of animals      CORRECT

   84. Are you a leader or follower?  Leader (Ron) leader       CORRECT 

   85. What three things do you think of the most each day?  Work, family, how tired I am. (Ron) something happening to my kids, something happening to ron, or me                     WRONG

   86. If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Proceed with caution. (Ron) warning fragile                     WRONG

   87. What song would you say best sums you up? Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd. (Ron) someone left the cake out in the rain, AKA MacArthur Park by Donna Summer                 WRONG

   88. What is your favorite drink? Vanilla Chai Latte. (Ron) water    WRONG    89. Who was your first crush?  Bo Duke (on Dukes of Hazzard). (Ron) Shaun Cassidy           WRONG

  90. What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your kitchen window? My chickens. (Ron) chickens              CORRECT 

   91. On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 6. (Ron) 8  WRONG

   92. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Working like a dog and getting no where. (Ron) here                WRONG

   93. What was your first job? Working at an awful pizza shop. (Ron) pizza shop                 CORRECT 

   94. If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? The Doors.  (Ron) The dead              WRONG

   95. Do you believe in an after life?  Yes. (Ron) yes            CORRECT 

   96. You’ll never understand people who do what.....?  Fart in front of anyone intentionally. (Ron) hunt              WRONG

   97.  Who would i hate to see naked? Any parental figures. (Ron) parents     CORRECT 

   98. If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? Probably a cat. I can be affectionate one minute but turn and walk away b/c you are boring me the next. I don’t like to be told what to do…and I’m not easy to control. “Obedient” isn’t my strong point. (Ron) cat, b/c you can be a loner and snobby (or some might perceive you to be that way).          CORRECT 

   99. What is something that turns you off about another person?  If they don’t like animals.  (Ron) people who are loud              WRONG

 100. Who knows you the best? My husband. (Ron) Me            CORRECT

The end

[sashatrr]

Breathe with me. Chapter 3

@indiacater @annekebbphotography

Chapter 2 here

Two days later Liam gave up trying to keep his mind off Lina and was sitting on his bed with phone in hand. Now he just needed to figure it out how does he enter that Facebook thing to talk to her.

OK, it's not a rocket science, I can do that. Email. I don't have personal email. Should I ask my assistant for my email? No, he will ask questions. Patience. Let's just make a new one.

15 min later

Ok, why does it need my phone number? I don't remember it. I'll just enter some random number. Nobody cares.

10 min later

Fine, why I didn't think that it will send me some confirmation code? How do I get it now? Think, Liam, think. Right, I'll call Drake, ask for my number and write it down.

-Hey, Drake… No No, nothing happened. I need you to tell me my phone number… Yes, I know it's two am, sorry. Yes, I am writing it down… No, I don't know how to find it in my settings. OK, thanks and good night.

Got it!!!! Here is the code. OK they sent me a letter to my email. But I already closed it. I don't remember what name did I make up. Download the app button? Nah, I don't know what will it do. OK, don't panic, Liam. Just think what name did you make. John Smith was already occupied. Right, it was JohnSmithakaKing. Aha, I am in. Done. Now how do I find her? Right. Search for Lina New York. OK, there is not one Lina in New York? Calm down, scroll down. OK, this is bad. There is literally like hundreds of them.

One and a half hour later

Aha, this looks like her! Finally. OK, add friend.

20 minutes later as the sun raises

Declined? Why did she decline? Message. OK works too.

Good morning.

20 min later.

OK, her picture wasn't in front of the message before and now it moved there. What does it mean? Should have taken a course on social media before to try it.

Good morning, Lina. It's Liam if you still remember me?

15 seconds later

….

Hey. Yes I do, of course I do. What's up? Didn't know you were on FB. Sorry I declined. Didn't know it was you… John Smith.

Sorry about that. Couldn't really name myself King Liam of Cordonia. So how are you?

This is exciting. We are literally speaking right now. She holds her phone in hand thousands of kilometers away and talks to me. God, I spoke on the phone before, I message Drake but never it felt so exciting.

I am good, fine. How are you? What brings you to Facebook anyway? Just created an account?

Yes, just now. Maxwell mentioned the other day that you talk to each other here. So I figured I could also give it a try and find some friends.

Welcome to the 21st century I guess? So anyway, how are things in Cordonia?

Good. We are actually coming to New York next Wednesday.

10 min later

Why she doesn't reply? Her picture moved down. She saw the message. I didn't say anything wrong.

15 min later

Yeah, Max told me. I'll see you guys Wednesday night.

Wait what? Maxwell already invited her? Sorry Drake but title of my best friend goes to Maxwell from now on.

Yes, I can't wait. Will your boyfriend join us?

Why did I type that? How do I delete it before she reads the message? Crap, to late. Picture is already next to it. Imbecile. Next time think before you type.

5 min later

Maybe. We didn't discuss it yet. Sorry but I gtg. Can't wait to see you and Max. Talk to you later.

Not much but it will do. Are all conversations through Facebook so awkward and impersonal? I definitely need a course.

Liam threw his phone on the bed and drifted to sleep.

——————————————————–——

Lina nervously threw her phone on the kitchen counter and began to pace a floor. She didn't really have to go anywhere or do anything. She had this afternoon all to herself. She was planning to go shopping but since her conversation with Max last night all she could think of was Liam. Year and a half had passed since that night. First weeks were difficult for her. She often returned to the memories of that night replaying every word and every second of it. She often cursed herself for rejecting Max's offer, would she accepted then at least she would be able to see him again. She was wondering what would happen if she accepted and went to Cordonia. One night she decided to Google him and since then she was following all news about their weird competition. She saw their pictures in Internet and knew right then that she made a right decision to stay home. There was no chance in hell that she could complete with those gorgeous, rich and sophisticated women. It got better with a time, she almost convinced herself that nothing special happened that night. Cinderellas don't exist in real life, she would just become a laughing stock for entire world if she went there and would end up with broken heart. Besides the idea itself was ridiculous. What is it, 16 century or a horse race? No, nothing good would come out of it.

Finally a day of coronation was there and he picked his bride. Gorgeous, rich blonde. She was working that day when the news were published and she was grateful for it. Lina knew it was silly but she couldn't help it and was dreaming that he would reject them all and magically appear in her bar but of course it didn't happen. Next few days pictures of Liam and his fiance were all over cordonian news sites and they were looking very happy together.

One of his friends would often message her on FB, they became quite close, he was funny and kind guy. They were never discussing Liam, competition or his fiance and Lina was grateful for that. She didn't want to hear how happy he was with another woman.

She convinced herself that she became obsessed with media image and nothing else. It's the same as to have celebrity crush. It passes with a time and nobody dies from it. Of course he was a guy any girl would fall for. Handsome, charming, rich and powerful.

She kept telling herself that she will get over this obsession and will be happy. Then she met Thomas and it almost became true.

He was a successful lawyer ten years older than her. Of course there was this age difference but it only attracted her more. He was so mature and composed comparing to the guys of her age. She didn't know if that was love but being with him made her happy and she almost got over that obsession with Liam. Almost.

She still followed all the news about him, she knew about attacks and his father's death and she felt bad for him but at least now she had Thomas to look at and remind herself that she will be happy, she is dating wonderful man who picked her of all women for some reason.

Thomas was a perfect boyfriend who never canceled dates no matter how busy he was with his work, he often arranged surprise weekends for her taking her to see different cities around US and he was generous lover. She couldn't complain.

The only sore in her life was her inability to find a better job in New York. All the places she sent her resumes to were looking for experienced professionals. She had zero experience and it made her chances to ever find a good job close to zero as well. She graduated with mediocre balls and had no advantages.

Yesterday she was working when Max messaged her and said that they are coming to New York again for another bachelor party. Lina wondered how many bachelor parties Liam needs and if it is some cordonian tradition to go to New York for that. He said that they will spend four full days in New York and asked her if she wants to see them. She had to go to back alley of her bar before people in bar would notice how nervous and stressed she was. It took her good ten minutes to calm her nerves and to be able think straight again.

No, that's definitely the worst idea ever. It took me almost a year to get over that obsession. If I see him again it will start all over again. No, absolutely no. I should just say no, find any excuse and to avoid them at any cost.

Finally she made up her mind and messaged back.

Sorry, Max, but I am working next week. It will be a very busy week but I will love to see you again next time you are in town. Just give me head ups and I'll take a night off xoxoxxoxo

Max replied almost immediately

Awww no. But that's OK, if you are working then we can come to your bar and after your shift we go clubbing all together. So we will drop in Wednesday night. The same booth!!!

Shit shit shit. OK that didn't work at all. That's even worse than to just go clubbing with them. I'll be so nervous that I'll just probably drop a tray or a few Infront of them. Besides I don't even have to work Wednesday night. Why did I even add Max? Should have blocked him and never hear from them again. From any of them. Life would be so much easier now.

Np Max, I just traded shifts with a friend so my night is free. You don't have to come to bar, we will meet in Kismet, OK?

Awsome! See you there at 11 xxooxox.

Since last night she was just a bundle of nerves and it didn't become any better once she realised that Liam himself was now messaging her.

Really what's up with those guys? Why would he message me now or even remember about me after all this time? I was sure that he forgot about me as soon as he drove me home that night. OK don't sound desperate. Just keep it as casual as possible and it should be fine, right?

Several times Lina didn't reply his messages right away taking her time to calm down and to master some casual, almost cold replies. Like Kings and hot guys were messaging her every day. Not a big deal, ha!

OK, I better say that I have to go. I might be working or having fun out with friends, right? Not like he knows that I am home alone and freaking out right now. OK bye, Liam, before I type something stupid. Oh my, next days will be a torture I just know it already.

Later that night she went to Thomas's place. She was vague if she should go or to stay home and keep freaking out but it would be super rude to cancel. Thomas himself has never canceled their dates and he knew that it's her day off anyway.

Her fingerprints were in the database and she had a key to his apartments so she unlocked the door and entered just as Thomas was coming out of the hallway leading to bedrooms.

He just took shower obviously because his hair were still wet. He rushed to her and wrapped Lina in his arms giving her a long passionate kiss on the lips.

-Hello, gorgeous. I've missed you. How was your day?

Still holding her waist Thomas leaded her towards living room and sat on the couch wrapping his arms around her.

-It was good, didn't do anything special. What about you? - Lina laughed nervously. She still wasn't able to relax and enjoy seeing him wishing she was home alone right now. She just needed time to process the fact that she will be seeing Liam in a few days again and Thomas definitely was a distraction. She wasn't able to focus on him just yet.

-As usual, we don't want to discuss my work, believe me. I would rather to enjoy a quiet night with you. - Thomas laid her down on the couch and began to passionately kiss her letting his arms to wonder around Lina's body.

A few minutes later Lina gently pushed him away and Rose from the couch.

-I was promised a dinner-she giggled silly.

-Are we going to cook or…?

-No, I got a take out on my way home. It's in the kitchen. Let's go before it gets cold.

They went to the kitchen together, Thomas sat at the counter while Lina took the food out of containers and put it on the plates. Thomas would never eat it straight out of containers even if it was just a take out food.

For a few minutes they just enjoined their food in comfortable silence until Lina finally spoke.

-Do you remember Max? My friend from Europe?

Thomas nodded.

-Yes, a funny silly guy. You forced me to go with you to the club. What about him?

-Well, he is coming to New York again and invited us to Kismet wednesday night. Are you in?

Thomas whipped his mouth with a napkin and took a sip of wine.

-Yes, about that. II was going to tell you. I have to go to Chicago for a week. I'll be leaving Monday so you will have to go without me.

Great, just great. And how am I supposed to keep my sanity if I won't have you there?

Lina sighed sadly and shook her head.

-That sucks. I was really hoping that you could come with me.

Thomas rose from his seat and walked to Lina giving her peek on the cheek.

-That's OK, go have some fun just two of you. I wouldn't be able to keep up with you, kids, anyway. That guy is like energizer and you will spend all night on the dance floor. But I will make it up to you later, I promise.

Fanfuckingtastic. Yes, just leave me one on one with my celebrity crush. He doesn't even know that. Should I tell him? No, I will sound crazy. How am I even going to say that? "Hey, by the way, a King of European country I was obsessed with will be there with us and I totally need you there not just to jump on him?". Yeah I can totally say that, right?

Next chapter

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 154: The Inevitable

Previously on BnHA: Even though the previous chapter ended with Deku arriving to punch Overhaul in the face, the majority of the chapter somehow was spent getting up to that moment which we’d already gotten up to! But finally it happened, and Aizawa, Nighteye, and Deku burst onto the scene. Nighteye gave Mirio a big ol’ hug and told him he did so good, and it was one of the few highlights of this arc, and so deserved. Deku and Aizawa went to apprehend Overhaul, but one of Overhaul’s Endless Minions woke up and used his quirk to basically paralyze Aizawa, so that Aizawa in turn was forced to blink and Overhaul was able to reactivate his own quirk. He proceeded to straight up murder his loyal right hand man and fuse their bodies together to form some kind of grotesque monstrosity, but like, it’s not even the good, interesting kind of grotesque. It’s just the same old Overhaul with some extra demon arms that’ve got big claws on ‘em, and now his mask is fused to his face like a demon bird beak as a bonus. Whatever. Nine seven chapters to go.

Today on BnHA: Overhaul revels in his new power-up and taunts Mirio a bit, mostly just to make sure everyone knows that his quirk is gone for good. Nighteye tells Deku to take Mirio and Eri and get them to safety while he holds Overhaul off. He thinks about everything he taught Mirio and how strong he became and how proud he is of him, and that all he wants to do right now is protect him and Eri. As Deku hauls Mirio and Eri away from the carnage, the narration starts talking about how Nighteye spent so much time desperately trying to change the futures he saw, but that it never worked no matter what he did. In spite of this, and in spite of knowing that his actions are merely “drawing out the inevitable”, he continues to fight Overhaul until he is brutally impaled on some more spikes. Enraged, Deku turns back, leaving Eri with Mirio, and activates One for All at 20%.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 185 now, so any ETAs will reflect that. Posting this a few hours early since I won’t be able to later this evening.)

fun fact, Fallen Angels/Jaimini’s Box doesn’t have this chapter translated on their site. in fact they don’t have any chapters translated from 154 all the way until 167. I can only assume they were getting as sick of this shit as I am. can’t even blame them for bailing

so Mangastream, that leaves just you. the brave souls who stuck it out till the bitter end. you guys are the real heroes academia

unfortunately the FA scans were also the cleaner scans, so now we’ll have to deal with these kind of dark, smudgy-looking pages. on the bright side, if you squint you can almost pretend like what’s happening on the page is actually interesting

sorry to rag on you before you even get started, chapter. but let’s not kid ourselves here

so Overhaul says he’s in a bad mood but “this is a little better”

and the text is all “that form... grotesque!” but again, it’s just his normal form with a couple extra demon arms. nothing we haven’t seen from Shouji or Tokoyami. do you guys remember Shouji and Tokoyami. good kids. wonder whatever happened to ‘em

Deku is like clinging to one of the floor spikes and trying to assess the situation

oh?

if Aizawa gets a one-on-one fight with that guy it had better be sick as hell. do NOT fuck around with my Aizawa fight. I will not forgive you

(ETA: does it count as fucking around with my Aizawa fight if we don’t even get an Aizawa fight. given how they probably would have managed to make even that inexplicably bad, it’s probably for the best that we didn’t get this in the end.)

Overhaul is monologuing about how germophobic he is and how this is the first time he’s been pushed to this point

oh shit he’s bringing out the big guns

did Mirio even know that his quirk was gone forever? up until this point he had no reason to assume the effect wouldn’t just be the same as with Tamaki. he really drew the short end of the stick. poor baby

oh here’re the rest of the bullets

-- excuse me, they’re the ones dragging this out?? WHO WAS IT THAT ORDERED HIS SUBORDINATES TO CREATE A NEVERENDING MAZE OF MEDIOCRE SECOND TIER VILLAINS

now he says Mirio has gotten all his friends mixed up in this and that they’re all gonna die

why does he keep taunting Mirio even though he’s already basically out for the count. still sore about how badly he fucked you up huh buddy. you prick

Mirio is all

um, yes way. he was torturing a six-year-old on a regular basis just to make no-quirk juice. he doesn’t even have a deep-seeded reason for it as far as I can see. he’s just in the mob and wants to make money. and even his boss was all “dude I get that you wanna make bank, but that plan is too fucked up even for us.” but he went and did it anyway

so yeah, I don’t know why anyone’s surprised that he’s cool with callously murdering his own subordinates, or why that of all things would somehow be the straw that broke the camel’s back

here comes Deku again!

did he throw that spike at him? nice

he caught it, and it did nothing, but still. nice

he’s grabbing another one! and thinking of Mirio!

stab him in the face Deku. do it for senpai

you know who I miss? fucking Stain. I miss him so much. I’ll never say a word against him again. that’s a lie but my god it’s like how you weirdly appreciate George W. just a little more after dealing with Trump. even though W. was just the worst. still so bad. but like, it gives you a new sense of scale and an understanding that no matter how bad things are, they can always get just a little bit worse

anyway, Deku’s diving in still but Overhaul is creating more spikes, this time from his hands

they’re crumbling upon impact with Deku’s kicks, but he’s thinking that if it weren’t for his iron soles he’d have been done in just now

I’m sorry are those things not impressive? what else do you need? he’s got smarts too, for what it’s worth

what in the

was that another one of his stamps?? Nighteye is such a freak

yep. look at this

take that bitch. I’m gonna sign for you like a package from Fedex

we’re now flashing back to a conversation they had while running in the hallway for those five long hours

“don’t you DARE fucking break your bones again you little punk”

Nighteye’s asking what Overhaul did with Aizawa

oh shit this is the first interesting thing Overhaul has said in ages

(ETA: so what a surprise that absolutely nothing came of it)

yeah, I bet he’s interested. oh shit. so now he’s whisked him off to the “VIP room.” what’s in there, caviar and high-stakes poker tables?

you guys. Nighteye is piiiiiiiiiiiissed

yeah for real. because he used the permabullets even though he only had five of them. I was wondering about that too

now Overhaul is disintegrating his two right arms. what are you playing at now

look how fucking weirdly Nighteye dodges

the hell kind of dodge is this

Overhaul is thinking he’s not particularly fast, but that his movements are similar to Lemillion’s. “so this guy’s the teacher...”

Nighteye’s flashing back to Mirio’s internship when he explained to him that by accumulating experience he would learn how to predict people’s actions and move accordingly

I’m so sorry this asshole took your son’s quirk Nighteye

all right so now Deku’s reached Mirio and Eri and he’s asking if they can move

Mirio’s all “no sweat” ffff

ffffffffffffffffff

baby sweetie honey nooo shhhh. don’t apologize for being sad that he forcibly destroyed a part of you. something that was unique and that you worked so hard to perfect and that was going to lead you toward your dreams. fuck. you’re allowed to be fucking bummed out kiddo. it’s gonna be okay

so Deku’s grabbing them all and he’s kicking open the path that Overhaul just tried to close up again

and now Eri is clutching at him and crying ffffffffffffff

THIS IS NOT OKAY. HORIKOSHI!!! COME THE FUCK ON. WHAT IS THIS

and Mirio’s looking back over his shoulder as they retreat, and he seems to have seen something troubling oh shit

this is all very interesting, but I thought he could only do one person a day? I still don’t fucking get how his power works in combat

(ETA: as the next page clarifies, I guess he used it on Overhaul and that’s how he saw himself and Deku dying at Overhaul’s hands. and this must mean it’s been more than 24 hours since he used it on the babysitter guy. and this is also why it takes him a full day to die afterwards, so that he can live just long enough to look into Mirio’s future one last time. ...fuck me why am I thinking about that noooo)

OH SHIT!?!?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. “THE INEVITABLE”!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK

DID THEY JUST FUCKING KILL NIGHTEYE WHAT THE FUCK

AT THE VERY LEAST WE ALL AGREE HIS ARM IS GONE, YES. STRAIGHT UP NO LONGER GOT A LEFT ARM

HOLY FUCK

AHHHHHHH EVERYTHING JUST SUDDENLY WENT BLACK

AND HIS EYES ARE LIKE

I’M FREAKING OUT!!?!?!?!?!

DEKU’S LOOKING BACK TOWARD THE SCENE AND HE’S TOTALLY BUGEYED

OVERHAUL IS SENDING SPIKES THEIR WAY

HOLY SHIT DEKU!?!?

OH SHIT

DEKU BE CAREFUL OF YOUR LIMBS!! ALSO YOU’RE THE BEST, HOLY FUCKING SHIT

even Overhaul has abruptly stopped his endless spike attacks and is now resorting to cautious trash talk

oh shit

CALL BACK TO THE ALL MIGHT PROPHECY OH SNAPPPPPP

DEKU YOU ARE SO COOL JESUS CHRIST THIS WAS SUCH A COOL MOMENT. I FORGOT THE MANGA COULD DO THAT

WAS IT WORTH 900 CHAPTERS OF BULLSHIT? AND MIRIO LOSING HIS QUIRK? AND NIGHTEYE FUCKING DYING FUCKING JESUS CHRIST? NO

BUT GOD IT’S SOMETHING, AND THAT SOMETHING IS ADMITTEDLY PRETTY COOL

I swear to god if he loses even with this. just...

just remember Deku. Nighteye literally died for this shit. probably. oh my godddddd

no bonus. because I’m pretty sure the next omake is supposed to go with tomorrow’s chapter. it’s really hard to figure this out tbh. but I guess I should be grateful that we even still have translated omakes right now, since even that will come to an end once we hit chapter 167. enjoy it while it lasts I guess

[ourimpavidheroine]

So I take it you're not looking forward to the new Kuvira-centric comic?

Short answer? No.

Long answer? Honestly, I’ve been very, very underwhelmed by all of the ATLA/TLOK comics thus far. I mean…I suppose the new one could redeem itself by being really good, sure. But I’m not holding my breath or anything. 

I’m not a Kuvira-stan. You people know this. I think she’s an extremely compelling villain! In fact, I loved her as a villain. That being said, I am wholly uninterested in a redemption arc for her, especially as it looks like her redemption is going to be based on Suyin Beifong’s a mean old soccer mom and it’s all her fault and Oh look there’s the Avatarverse version of Mengele over there and he’s so much worse than me, he’s the real bad guy here.

I’m really fucking skittish about Su being framed as a villain. I do not think Bryke EVER got it right when it came to mothers in the Avatarverse. Either they were dead (Sokka and Katara’s mother, Mako and Bolin’s mother, Asami’s mother) or we had no idea if they were dead or alive or what the fuck during the actual story (Zuko and Azula’s mother, Eska and Desna’s mother, Izumi’s mother) or they were in the story but were basically there as scenery (Korra’s mother, Toph’s mother, Bumi, Kya and Tenzin’s mother, Mai’s mother, Noatak and Tarrlok’s mother). The only fleshed out mothers we get are Su and Toph Beifong, and Toph is really pushing it. I mean, we know canonically that Toph was a lousy mother. And while I do sincerely applaud Bryke for allowing Toph to be a lousy mother instead of some idealized 1950′s super mom that would be a wholly unbelievable character arc for her that only leaves us with Su as the sole mother who is a)actually in the show and b)has more than two lines.

Su Beifong, much as I loved her - and oh my god, did I love her - was a morally gray character. No doubt about it. She was a Slytherin Mom for damn sure.

Was she a perfect mother? I don’t think that exists. Good Mom? You know, I think she was, all things considered. I do not think anyone can argue that Su didn’t love her kids. She didn’t raise her sons with toxic masculinity - look at their father, for one thing, and we see the twins openly crying and that’s fine - and she’s proud of Huan’s ugly sculptures and there’s never any pressure on him to bend offensively (that includes in the train tunnels as Kuvira is attacking Republic City and he never bends at all). The moment Opal tells her parents she wants to leave Zaofu and go and train with the other airbenders Su and Baatar let her go - and they don’t bring her home even after the Red Lotus attack, despite how hard that must have been for them as parents. 

(We’ve got no idea about Junior, but the whole shy bumbling dork with no lines at all somehow turns into primo evil mad scientist thing comes out of nowhere and is not only not set up at all in the narrative but is never explained either. That’s on Bryke, however, and not Su and Baatar. It’s bad writing, for sure.)

And sure, Su as a mother has her moments. I mean…she also takes her teenage sons with her to assassinate someone, for the love of god. And she tells her oldest son, the war criminal, that everything will be just fine and all will be forgiven which is…neither reasonable nor realistic. She expects Tenzin, one of only five airbenders in the world (including the Avatar!) to drop everything and come and train her daughter on site. Which is just nuts. She has a truthseer who is always following her about, spying on people, which is super creepy. That’s Su for you. 

But, and I have said this again and again, but I have NEVER seen it addressed anywhere else - not in the show, not in any critiques I’ve read, etc. - there are TWO parents in Zaofu. Baatar may be mild-mannered, yes. But he’s there. He’s clearly an involved parent - we see him with his kids! We see him with his wife! We see him interact with his mother-in-law, we see him in the cage with the rest of his family, we see him in the tunnels with Huan, hell, we see him at the wedding in Republic City. He’s in the courtroom in the comic! 

So can someone PLEASE tell me why it always, always comes down to Su? That no one ever talks about her husband? Do not get me wrong, Su is clearly a dominant force; she’s a Beifong, for crying out loud. But Baatar has a backbone. He openly defies Junior and Kuvira without any hesitation whatsoever, fuck the consequences. He’s there when Opal tells her parents - not her mother, but her parents - that she wants to leave Zaofu to train. He’s clearly part of that decision. Does he leave the fighting to his wife? Yes, and rightly so. Does he let her carry on with the running of the city while he focuses on the building of it? Clearly. But he’s not scenery, not in the way that Senna is, for example, or Poppy Beifong.

Ever heard Kuvira mention Baatar Sr at all, never mind as someone who might have had a say in her upbringing? Never.

So to take Kuvira and reduce all of her megalomania, all of her madness, all of her destructiveness down into (foster) mommy issues? That is always going to feel like a cheap cop-out to me. I don’t care how you frame it. I cried bullshit all over that last conversation with Korra where Korra was like…oh, I get it, you felt insecure and your abandonment issues with parental figures made you want to wholesale kill people, cool cool cool cool cool, like I relate. 

Me, during that scene:

And the worst part of it is that they never did that with Amon. Yakone fucked up his kids but good; we know this. He was a legit criminal who only had kids as a means of getting revenge on those whom he felt had wronged him. He raised his sons as weapons. He was, beyond a doubt, an evil person and an appalling father. He had zero redeeming qualities. And yet…Amon is never given a pass for that. It’s there, it’s part of the story, we are horrified by it, but the narrative tells us that Amon is 100% responsible and culpable for his crimes despite his upbringing. The end.

The same is true for Zuko, by the way. The narrative makes it explicitly true that Zuko is responsible for his own shit despite what Ozai (and Ursa!!!) did to him. (The difference with Zuko is that he was still a child, whereas Amon and Kuvira are clearly adults. And even at that Zuko isn’t given a pass!)

So if the story, as told, is that in order to find redemption Kuvira needs to accept responsibility for what she did and stop blaming parental figures for all of the really appalling shit she should be in prison for the rest of her fucking life and not swanning around the former Earth Kingdom in snazzy Asami Sato hand-me-downs, then fine. I mean, been there done that already in this Verse and I’m not personally interested in following a rehashed redemption arc, but fine. It works.

But considering that they’ve got this new general dude outside of Gaoling that’s clearly set up to be Mengele and thus even worse than Kuvira? Oh man. I just…let Kuvira be a villain, okay? Redeem her if that’s what you want, but then REDEEM HER. Stop trying to make her somehow the lesser evil, here. This character was clearly created to make her seem the lesser evil; he wasn’t even alluded to in the show itself. I will lay cash that part of the Kuvira redemption arc is that OH NO she realizes that Megele dude is THE WORST and she is obligated to STOP HIM. Hey, here’s an idea…maybe you should have stopped him three years ago, how about that? You don’t get a goddamn pass for an unprovoked attack on a foreign nation with a weapon of mass destruction because some other guy in your army was conducting human experimentation. That’s not how this works. There’s no pass. 

But I’m never going to stop being super fucking salty that you take the ONE mother in this show that is actually a fully-fleshed out character on screen and let her take the blame - all alone, never mind her husband - for being a crap mother to her foster kid that decided to grow up and become a fascist. Fuck that noise. Sincerely.

[faejilly]

i am for you (10/?)

This chapter brought to you by that time I accidentally left Sucker on loop on Spotify for like three days. idk why either, that’s all I’ve got tho 

***

[misfit group mms]

[tessa]: oh, it's nice to be home on a Friday night [tessa]: I love the ALA con but my pajamas are so much more comfortable

[dot]: says you and Ragnor, maybe. The rest of you got any plans? I've got itchy feet but I can't decide what I want to do or where to go

[magnus]: you always have itchy feet

[dot]: you're one to talk

[cat]: so you're crowdsourcing for ideas?

[dot]: why not?

[cat]: Sorry, I have to work a double tomorrow, I'm with Tessa. Tea and putting my feet up, that's the life

[magnus]: Alexander and I are going dancing.

[cat]: I can see your giddy smile from here, you've got it bad

[magnus]: Yes, I do

[raphael]: you've had worse taste, I must admit

[magnus]: was that a compliment?

[raphael]: he's not a total idiot. He has a sense of humor, too

[tessa]: what [tessa]: did you make a joke? One someone else could recognize rather than one where you laughed at them in your head? And then he GOT IT? [tessa]: Magnus, your boy's magical, I can't wait to meet him

[magnus]: not today, sorry darling

[dot]: oh we know. Have fun

[magnus]: so much fun

[raphael]: please don't give us the details

[magnus]: just for that, you're getting pictures tonight [magnus]: so many pictures [magnus]: every possible outfit combination [magnus]: every menu item I consider for dinner [magnus]: every step in line on the way to the club

[raphael]: why are you such an asshole

[magnus]: but I'll stop once we get inside [magnus]: because I love you

[dot]: or because Pandemonium uses those weird spotlights and strobes so most pics look terrible

[cat]: oh no, it's because Magnus will be too busy admiring Alec

[raphael]: never thought I'd be thankful for Magnus' libido

[magnus]: harsh. I'll have you know he has a beautiful soul

[dot]: you're not going to a club to grind against Alec's *soul*

[cat]: apparently he can multi-task. Enjoy his soul, pretty eyes, and how he moves his hips?

[magnus]: stop objectifying my boyfriend [magnus]: or wait 'til he can hear you so I can at least enjoy him blushing

[cat]: ah, young love

[magnus]: you're the same age I am

[cat]: but I'm not in love, thank god, it sounds exhausting

[magnus]: bah humbug?

[ragnor]: exactly [ragnor]: But I also have plans, actually. Quieter ones.The observatory's doing a talk on the Lyrids, and then they're having a midnight picnic while we see how well they show up

[dot]: oooh. Can I come?

[ragnor]: if you can get here in half an hour, it's a bit of a drive to the site. Have to get far enough out of town to avoid the worst of the light pollution

[dot]: on it

[magnus]: hmmm, I have to start planning my photo montage [magnus]: you're gonna love it, Raphael [magnus]: you should get a new SD card [magnus]: so you can save them ALL

[cat]: I'm so sorry, Raphael

[magnus]: OH. IT'S ON. YOU'RE GETTING THEM TOO

[cat]: ohnomyphone'sdyingwhatwasthat

[tessa]: have fun, children. And Ragnor.

***

[maia]: Alec's here. With Magnus. Dancing. In public. Holy shit Magnus can dance. Alec's not bad, but wow. WOW.

[simon]: why are you telling me this when I can't come &see it for myself? That's just mean

[maia]: so you can tell Becky and she can give you that look that she does when she doesn't believe you? Because that look's hilarious

[simon]: you are a cruel woman

[maia]: you're just jealous Becky likes me better

[simon]: Everyone likes you better. You are objectively the best, I am proud of everyone for liking you better.

[maia]: awww. That was really sweet you big dork

[simon]: 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

[maia]: less sweet, more dork

[simon]: hey, at least I didn't try and make long-stemmed rose emojis for you [simon]: that'd be a bit much

[maia]: SPEAKING OF A BIT MUCH [maia]: I think there's glitter in Alec's hair. From Magnus' ... Everything?

[simon]: WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS? I hate Pandemonium's lighting, I can't even ask you to get pics, they never come out

[maia]: well Lydia's seen Alec do this before, apparently, the dancing at least if not the glitter, and Clary's right here staring at them with me, and I can't very well tell Izzy or Jace, they're all stuck in *wait are we supposed to worry about him now?* mode and it's clearly very confusing for them that their big brother is his own person and has sex. Possibly a lot of sex? Alec and Magnus are very close together with this dancing thing. [maia]: They're really hot, babe

[simon]: I'm your last choice? AND you're telling me other boys are hot? I'm hurt

[maia]: no you're not, you know I love you (and you also know they're hot)

[simon]: I do, don't I? Love you too.

[maia]: were you agreeing with both of those?

[simon]: obviously [simon]: I can get away with that 'cause he's not actually my brother and also I know you'll never tell him I said that because you like me enough not to want me to be QUITE that mortified [simon]: aw shit, you'd totally tell Becky or Clary tho. Please don't tell Becky & Clary

[maia]: I'll consider it 😏 [maia]: Clary's probably safe. She seems really weirded out by Alec's date-behavior. Pointing out that we both already knew he was hot might make her head explode. [maia]: do you think it's because she thinks of Alec as a brother or just because he's so *Alec* iykwim?

[simon]: probably both. Clary's good at multi-tasking her emotions

[maia]: Was that a compliment or an insult?

[simon]: no idea [simon]: and Bubbie's back, gotta go. She did want to know if you're still good for Shabbat next week?

[maia]: course. Tell her I'll bring the wine

[simon]: told you everyone should like you best 😍

[maia]: 😘

***

[clary]: alinealinealinehelp in eed tot alkto you

[aline]: it's after 2 in the morning there what are you doing? Are you all right? Is someone dying? Do I need to get a plane ticket?

[clary]: SORRY. Everyone'sfine (alec's borfiiiiirnis so gorgeous and i don't even,i had to tell you because you'retheonlyone who gets it)

[aline]: alec's what? WHAT. [aline]: CLARY [aline]: CLARY WTF [aline]: I AM GOING TO CALL LUKE AND MAKE SURE NO ONE'S DYING

[aline]: clary? If you're asleep and no one's dying I'm going to kill you

[clary]: sorry, sorry. Got some water and a keyboard I candothisnow. Sort of. Sorry

[aline]: how drunk are you

[clary]: not too drunk for these conversation [clary]: thank god my phone's well trained

[aline]: thank god I woke up and had coffee already [aline]: can you start over now?

[clary]: yeah like. A week or twss ago this guy THIS GUY with the best clothes I've ever seen and eyeliner to rival Izzy's came into the store looking for a book and he said *ALEC* sent him

[aline]: what

[clary]: i KNOW. right. I did not know that was a thing for Alec. Maybe it's just Magnus is a thing for Alec? That would make more sense, I don't think he knew what he looked like at that point but MAGNUS HAD THIS LITTLE SMILE WHEN HE SAID aLEC's name and it was amazing and adorable and istg he's so beautiful i want his vests like all of them do you think if they get married I could borrow his vests?

[aline]: clary. You need to, idk. I cannot follow this story and if you don't figure it out I'm going to call you and if that doesn't help I'm going to call EVERYONE YOU ARE EVEN SORT OF RELATED TO UNTIL SOMEONE EXPLAINS

[clary]: NO you can't that's why I'm talking to you Maia went home to sle [clary]: sleep because Maia actually knows how to adult and Jace and Izzy are being like scowly because you know it's *Alec* and they're worried and Lydia is [clary]: Lydia more Alec's friend than my friend even though we are also friends and how does she make her hair stay like that do you think? It never falls out of those braids

[aline]: BREATHE

[clary]: ok

[aline]: drink some water

[clary]: ok

[aline]: try again

[clary]: so Alec has a boyfriend who he met via an accidental email message or something like in an actual freaking movie [clary]: and for their first date they came to THE HUNTER'S MOON AND SIMON'S GIG LAST WEEK

[aline]: why would anyone start with that

[clary]: and then they left early and Alec's was freshly shaved when he got to the bookstore the next *afternoon* like he had only just managed to get home and clean up before he had to show up and also he keeps smiling and I have a suspiciousness he hasn't slept back at his own place all week

[aline]: how did starting with meeting our family work, that's impossible

[clary]: I have no damn clue but we tried to tease him at dinner last week and now Maryse invited Magnus (that's the boyfriend in case I forgot that part?) to family dinner this week and apparently he said YES [clary]: IT'S BEEN A WEEK and ALEC IS BRINGING HIS OBYFRIENDTOD INNER S unday wait it's like almost three that's TOMORROW

[aline]: Alec's never invited anyone to a family anything ever. I've never even managed to figure out if he's ever gone on a date because wherever he goes it's not where any of us are. EVER.

[clary]: OH HE DATES NOW [clary]: I SAW THEM AT PANDEMONIUM TONIGHT AND I [clary]: they were *dancing* and I was maybe 4 people away and Alec didn't even notice [clary]: and Alec's my *brother* and they're boys but even I could tell they were really hot. as in people were staring hot and Alec didn't care

[aline]: holy shit

[clary]: like. I really don't want to know this about them but they may have had sex in the bathroom because let me tell you Alec was all blushing and dark eyed and hi's HAIR and you know that loose-happy-post-orgasm thing was going on with the dancing

[aline]: I don't want to know this about them or you that you would recognize that, you're twelve

[clary]: I am TWENV. I'm TWEMT fucking 21

[aline]: maybe he'd just had a drink and was enjoying a night out [aline]: ...

[clary]: yeah. Cuz that's not LESS WEIRD? Alec drinking and going out in public and not noticing someone he knows near-by? (MAIA. ME. we're not subtle) ALEC NOT NOTICING FAMILY? I HAVE NEVER. You have never. NEVER.

[aline]: this is the most disturbing conversation to be having. Especially with you

[clary]: WHY ESPECIALLY ME? You've known Izzy since she ewas actually a bb izzy and me since i was a teenager why'mI worse? [clary]: and i am not a virgin wtf aline you took me to the 18nighht at Galore togetherallthetime before you met Helen. And after you met Helen but before either of you had the balls to ask her out. Or the other her. Or you. I think I lost track of the nouns in that sentence

[aline]: drink more water

[clary]: k

[aline]: and then get some sleep

[clary]: BUT aLEC AND mAGNUS

[aline]: are adults and apparently very happy about that fact, they'll be fine

[clary]: but Izzy and Jace are being WEIRD ABOUT IT i need help

[aline]: why? How? What do you think I'm going to do from a different continent? And are you even going to remember this conversation after you get some sleep?

[clary]: that's why typing i can read it if i forgot

[aline]: uh. I think that's going to go a little differently than you expect

[clary]: oh, Simon's saved everysingle durmngdi drunk text I've ever sent him, this is way more like real words than usual

[aline]: that's terrifying I can't know that you're twelve

[clary]: stop saying that!

[aline]: you're drunk texting me about your brother's boyfriend [aline]: who you actually called both gorgeous and hot like he's a celebrity on a poster [aline]: stop acting like you're twelve

[clary]: oh [clary]: point [clary]: but

[aline]: and honestly considering Alec I think you're the one being weird [aline]: it's perfectly normal to be worried about someone doing something out of character

[clary]: ugh not you too [clary]: but the SMILES [clary]: the way they just. Everything. [clary]: I think they're soulmates

[aline]: there's no such thing

[clary]: I didn't think so either. but now?  [clary]: aw shit the tired hit I gotta go sleep [clary]: love you

[aline]: but [aline]: god damn it [aline]: I’m calling you back in six hours to wake you up and make you suffer

***

[aline]: I just had the weirdest conversation with Clary

[helen]: it's 3 in the morning there

[aline]: drunk!Clary. Not even why it was weird though. I think.

[helen]: what she's twelve she can't be drunk texting people on the other side of the planet, that's just wrong

[aline]: that's what I said!

[helen]: great minds

[aline]: hot bods

[helen]: 🥂

[aline]: 💕

[helen]: so what did drunk Clary have to say that was even weirder than the fact that drunk Clary was texting you from the other side of the planet?

[aline]: Alec brought a date to Simon's gig last week and they're going to family dinner Sunday AND they were apparently at Pandemonium last night. Alec didn't notice Clary. While he was dancing. In public. With some guy *Clary* called hot and gorgeous and beautiful.

[helen]: wtf Clary's possibly even more gay than you are. She and Alec are both solid sixes.

[aline]: I KNOW, RIGHT?

[helen]: I don't know what to do with this information

[aline]: exactly [aline]: and Clary was in all seriousness (I think) calling them soulmates and then she decided she was tired and stopped talking to me

[aline]: and it's 3am there everyone else is probably asleep  [aline]: I'm just staring at my phone. I feel like I should do something with all this? But there's nothing?

[helen]: so you had to share the WTF with me?

[aline]: obviously

[helen]: well [helen]: thanks? [helen]: but I'm at my stop so you're gonna have to figure out the WTF on your own for awhile

[aline]: but I don't wanna

[helen]: too bad

[aline]: ha. Just for that, I'm going back to bed. Blankets and pillows and that one line of sunlight that makes it through between the curtains...

[helen]: I hate you

[aline]: love you too, babe. 👋🏼 

[carolrance]

I AM DYING LMAO

i just found the most hilarious reviews for the handmaid’s tale and i’m dying lol. since twop is dead(?) (is it? i dunno cos i never look anymore tbh) this is the next best thing. and it’s doubly awesome cos she hates all the same characters. (mutual nick hate is my life). i have another post in my drafts about how amazing amy glynn’s reviews at paste are. and they are. but they are serious. these ones are snarktastic.

“Welcome back to America’s favorite rape and explosions show, The Handmaid’s Tale.”

“Nick goes out into the rain, full emo cigarette smoking, resigned to boning this virgin, when he spies something. Oh no! It’s Offred, sprawled in the rain, bleeding to death. He picks her up and screams for help. My god. These two. Offred is the world’s worst teenager. And Nick is her bad boy boyfriend. She’s going to robotically obey and then bleed to death in the rain? Get the fuck out of here with that. These two act like they are in a My Chemical Romance music video circa 2005.” (This is my fav one of them all.)

“Speaking of Nick, he’s still the worst! His baby bride comes to Offred for...advice? I don’t know why she comes to her exactly, except maybe it’s like coming to your sluttiest friend and asking a weird sex question? I don’t know.”

“Serena is clearly mad about Offred, and E. Moss is doing a great job as playing her as the bitchiest teenager in the house. Aunt Lydia has moved in to keep her eye on Offred, and she bursts in during Offred’s teenage sulk bath to instruct her to wash. Down there. You know. (vagina). Offred makes more defiant teenage eye contact as she washes. Down there. She’s almost coming on to Lydia. That’s cool, I guess.”

“We cut to the Colonies and some more cockadoodie plot machinations. Because of the mass casualty event, Emily and Janine, among others, are going to be pressed back into service as Handmaids. This is some ripe bullshit. First off, both are disobedient. Secondly, they’ve been in the radioactive Colonies for a hot minute--who knows what that’s done to their baby making machinery? But now the writers can bring back some important characters. COCKADOODIE.”

“Part of the purpose of the walks are so the fetus can hear and get used to Serena’s voice, you see, and Serena wants to talk shit about everyone they know.”

“We get some grade A pen pornography as she lovingly fingers Fred’s pens, and we close on the image of Serena behind the desk and Offred clicking the ballpoint just like Ofglen clicked the detonator. (We also get an insane music cue: “Venus.” You know, from the razor commercials and also the 1960s? Like, what the what the what, show.)”

“She’s worked on her shrine and her newspaper-clipping Crazy Wall ™, where she is reconstructing the events that led to the creation of Gilead. Which is great, but also, bitch, didn’t you watch the fucking news? You lived through this.”

“They load up into a truck, but at the last minute, Offred remembers that she is the worst and this show is supposed to go for ten seasons, so she hops out, gives the baby to Emily, and heads back into the night, to become Jedi June and fight Gilead to rescue her other daughter.”

“Serena stomps into Devil Fred’s mancave while he is enjoying his jazz records and demands that Offred go back to the Red Center. Fred talks her down, telling her that they don’t want to miss the joy of the pregnancy. Which, okay, Fred. You try having a testy teenager in your face all day.”

“I really wanted to punch her during all of this. How golly, and how insensitive, to poke through their sacred objects and get all teary-eyed, especially as they risk their lives to shelter her dumb ass.”

“Serena monologues about her drafts of new security orders. She wants things to get back to normal--she wants to cut back on the police state to normal dystopian police state levels.”

“It seems the Marthas have had enough, and they are taking action. Offred fucks around for about ten minutes because she is the worst, carving Nolite into the bedroom wall.”

“Anyway, Serena is super pissed, violently potting succulents and plotting dark deeds.”

“At some point, Offred takes a pout bath that is red with blood. She also bleeds clear through her underwear. When they get home, the Waterfords welcome Nick’s bride into the household, and then send Offred and Rita away. Rita is worried about Offred, but Offred has decided to bleed to death. Up the stairs she goes.”

“Offred’s presence rouses Fred out of his mini-coma for just long enough for him to remark on her size (just like a real son of a bitch). Offred leaves and makes out with Nick in the hall because they are stupid assholes. I mean, really. There are people and Eyes all over the place and these two are just slobbering all over. Offred also makes the Martha’s shooting all about her in a real self-centered way.”

“Let’s check in on the boring house, shall we? Offred decides to go around and collect godmothers for her baby.”

“Oh I forgot that Nick and Offred cuddled the baby and blah blah and I still hate them. Also, Nick, your baby bride’s blood is on your hands.”

“In the show, though, we’ve seen a lot of natal care, including ultrasounds, and we’ve seen the inside of a hospital room. Why in the fucking hell would they mess around with home birth at all? It’s so illogical it makes me mad.”

“So she goes outside with the shotgun, has another wolf encounter, and blasts off some rounds to alert someone of her presence. Then she goes back inside and takes off all her clothes and shits that kid out.”

“Back at the Waterford manse, Serena and Offred bond, AGAIN, over Eden’s execution and Serena lets Offred breast feed the baby, because she is completely internally inconsistent. On this episode, Serena will be affected by the atrocities of the regime she helped create. ANYWAY, THE END.”

“Eden wants to spruce up the apartment, and Nick gives her permission and plays the husband humoring his little woman’s whims. Which, total and complete barf forever. Nick still doesn’t see Eden as a potential threat, because he is an idiot. While she’s working on her HGTV audition tape, she finds the stack of contraband letters Nick took from Offred when she was going mad.”

“Into the house they run, Serena screaming Offred’s name like she’s going to catch her and probably murder her. I mean, this is full throated scream. If your dog ran away, you wouldn’t scream his name that way because he would be like: that bitch is crazy and wants to kill me. So it unsuprisingly doesn’t work on a human woman.”

“Meanwhile, Nick catches Eden kissing the douchebag Guardian. He’s like no big deal, and Eden freaks out. She says that he’s in love with the Handmaid, and he gaslights the fuck out of her denying it. Nick is a bastard. He shows Eden no kindness. He doesn’t treat her like a person. She doesn’t rate even a decent excuse. There are many things he could say: that she’s so young, that they don’t know each other, that he’s unhappy to be married at all. But he does none of those things. This woman is fifteen years old. She’s spent her adolescence under the yoke of Gilead. While she may be a true believer, she is still not in charge of her fate here. Nick is a bastard.”

“Devil Fred and Offred get in a knock-down, drag out, and he misquotes the bible at her and slaps her across the face. She then slaps him across his face, and is not immediately fucking super murdered.”

“Emily is like what the fuck, this place is weird. Lydia is like, bye! You better be good or we will kill you! Have fun! Anyway, she has a brief conversation with the Wife, who is like: this guy is horrible. He created The Colonies! He poisoned people! Commander Old Hipster gently shuffles her away, back to her crazy room.”

And serious business shit (cos it’s not all jokes):

“What I do think is wrong is the zig-zagging of Serena’s character. She’s mean and petty, and then she’s happy playing writer to Offred’s editor. Then she’s mad again, and then even more mad after that. Raping Offred to punish her for false labor is insane and irredeemable. Devil Fred has been consistently devilish--a prick who enjoys owning women--but Serena has seesawed from one extreme to another. I don’t think it makes her character more complicated or deep. Instead, it seems like inconsistency in the writing.

This show has been saluted as being of the times, for being very current. When I see children being ripped from their parents, or in an earlier episode this season, people desperate to escape to another country, and then I see it echoed in real life, it is hard to take. Dystopias are less entertaining to watch when you live in a country that seems to be accelerating toward the same.”

“Things I liked: Annie Lennox, Commander Old Hipster/his house/his wife/his Martha/his stolen art collection/taste in graphic novels/scarves, Rita and the Marthas rising up. Things I didn’t like: EVERYTHING ELSE

As adaptations go, the second season was always going to be a rough one. I can’t say that it was successful. They’ve turned June/Offred into an asshole, and they made Serena so inconsistent we don’t even know what to expect moment to moment. That’s not good writing, y’all.”

BTW, the site is:

https://heauxsmag.com/new-blog/?tag=handmaids+tale

[durendal]

On drama in the tags

So I’ve been on this hell site for about 7 years now and I’ve floated from fandom to fandom and ship to ship and I’ve seen how disatourous toxic fans can be. I’ve never really had a problem with it because I just slam that unfollow button and stay out shit. However I’ve finally got to the point that I need to say something. Like if 3 people agree and it changes their mind then I’ll feel better about it.

First let me say I’m hard core bakudeku shipper, the content people create for this ship is incredible. I see so much potential for growth for them as characters together. So the following comments I’m going to make have nothing to do with the ship as a whole. I’m not anti and I sure as hell don’t think the idea of them together is toxic.

Ready for it: bakudeku fans might be the most toxic fans I’ve interacted with. Here’s the reasons why.

Point 1: bitching about antis

I know for a while anti bakudeku fans were a real problem. People called the ship abusive and that if you liked the ship you were abusive too yada yada yada. We know the discourse I’m not getting into it. This is pretty cleared up though. You know how many anti posts I’ve read with my own two eyes? Maybe 2. How many shippers I’ve seen complain about antis? At least half the fandom tbh. You guys even have it in your bio! It’s honestly like you love the drama and are just waiting to jump into the fight. Literally who cares. Maybe it’s because some of you are younger but a stranger on the internet could call me an abusive asshole for liking two animated characters and I would not blink an eye. Stop making posts about it, stop interacting with people who don’t agree with you, and stop answering asks that are from dumb people without lives. By continuously bringing it up you are keeping the drama alive and no one wants that. And for god sakes stop making huge long meta posts trying to justify the ship to people who hate it so much. Just enjoy the thing you like and talk about the reasons why you love it! Not from the point of view of defending it.

Point 2: drama between fellow shippers

Ok I know this sounds a little like me right now but I’m talking about the fandom as a whole, this point is about blog vs blog hate. This is kind of what set me off for this entire post because if anyone is following the latest bakudeku drama there have been two larger blogs (not to be named) that have a had huge backlash on them in the last month or so. And guess what I could give a fuck less. Why are we expected to pick sides? Why are we supposed to unfollow someone because someone else said they did something bad? And now my dash is clogged up with the shipper on shipper hate because???? Why? Like y’all bitch about antis but now you are bitching about people who like bakudeku too? And beyond the two big callouts, even like little shit sets you guys off. “Oh your bakugou headcannon is too ooc for me fuck you and your blog.” “Oh deku would never top you are so dumb.” WHO CARES!!! How can you be personally invested in fighting with someone who has the same general opinion as you but you wanna beef it out over the details. If y’all think we are some persecuted group amongst Bnha (I don’t but w/e) shouldn’t we stick together? Create content together? Enjoy the idea of these huge dumbass nerds fixing up their relationship??

Point 3: general mindset

So I know this is a little vague but I think after describing it some people will get what I’m saying. There is something very klance feeling about the people involved in the fandom. Everyone has the mindset that people are out to get them? Like they talk about blocking people before anyone has said anything to them? When you are in this mindset before interacting with people, it makes you chew heads off for no reason. I’ve seen very innocent friendly asks get responded to very rudely because the blogger takes it the worst possible way. I think point one and two play into this feeling of fight or flight amongst shippers. I feel every interaction I see is very tense and nothing is super enjoyable. It tends to make Super tight cliques if 5-10 bloggers and no one can get past those defenses. It’s us against the world mentality which bottlenecks the newcomers.

Now you are asking yourself; D why would you make this post? We all know the lovely deku vs kacchan 2 came out in the dub recently. We have been rejoicing at everything about it and we have had a tidal wave of people now seeing the potential of bakudeku. And guess what fuckers you are scaring them off. Why don’t you act like normal people for like two seconds and allow new people to get involved. If you keep up with this toxic garbage even veteran fans like me will jump ship. Be friendly and open to people. Stop the drama.