#shit that's the wrong performance of heartbreaker

[juha-art]

"I don't know the right thing to do. If I know I'll do it. I'm so sorry."

@quiddie tell suvi I love her

[caraetdeul]

Tolerate It

Choi Seungcheol x fem!reader

The 3 times you forgave and the one time you finally choose to forget.

(With platonic!Lee Jihoon x reader)

TW: angst, angst, angst!!! hurt/no comfort, somehow toxic relationship

a/n: This is a 4 part small series based on Taylor Swift's song "Tolerate It". The way she told the story on the Eras Tour was so heartbreaking that I just can't help but make one based on it. So of course, this series will be full of heartbreaks until the very end (sorry not sorry). This is also a tribute to that performance cuz it still breaks my heart that it's been removed from the setlist. I'll post each part as soon as I'm finished writing them and I'll even maybe write a one-shot sequel of this once I'm done with it with a lot of comfort and VENGEANCE. Also, if you want to be tagged in future updates for this series or for any other stories i write, just ask ;) Anyway, enjoy reading caratdeuls!

Btw, it can be read as gn!reader but there are descriptions of feminine clothes and things.

~Main Masterlist~

I Wait By The Door Like I'm Just A Kid

Use my best colors for your portrait

Lay The Table With The Fancy Shit

And watch you tolerate it.

If It's All In My Head, Tell Me Now

Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

I Know My Love Should Be Celebrated

But you tolerate it.

Regrets and Reunions: A Sequel

Taglist: @moonwonuu @belladaises @porridgesblog @sasaapportela @allys-reads @vixensss @clownprincehoeshi @gyuguys

[bro-atz]

betrayal [trope — mingi]

inspired by: shut up flower boy band — kdrama + this post

pair: rockstar!mingi/afab!reader

word count: 4.5k

content: angst, smut, heartbreak, mingi looks like he could kill you but is the sweetest cinnamon roll, (can you believe mingi is the betrayer gasp), reference to past drug use, drinking, smoking, violence, mingi gets beat up, (seonghwa's kind of a dick... and lowkey like a disney villain whoops), safe sex, car sex, bedroom sex, hand kink, tattoo kink, consensual sex

author's note: i actually had a completely different idea in mind, but then @byuntrash101 posted this and i immediately had a much better idea for the series so thank you for the inspiration love 💕 also someone for the love of god tell me how to stop turning drabbles into novellas thx

trope masterlist | part one | part two

Mingi flung his head back and sighed loudly in the dressing room as he stood before the vanity. He felt your presence behind him and immediately spun around, his shaggy hair covering the sadness in his eyes. You took a hesitant step towards him before he lashed out.

“What are you doing here?” Mingi spat out.

You winced. Sure, Mingi looked like he could kill someone, but in the time you knew him, he was the sweetest fucking cinnamon roll.

“I c-came to support you and the boys,” you murmured— it was the truth. You just wanted to support the band you had come to love, but honestly, you also wanted to see Mingi because you missed him. You missed him so fucking much.

“I told you to never let me see you again, Y/N. What is so fucking hard to understand about that?” Mingi huffed and ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up further.

“But why?” your voice wavered, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes. Tears actually did spill out of your eyes when you cried, “Why are you doing this? Can you tell me what I did wrong? Please? You break up with me over a phone call and tell me you want nothing to do with me, but you never said why!”

Mingi flinched. He hated seeing you cry, and he desperately wanted to just hug you and dry your tears, but he couldn’t. He had to stay away from you, and he couldn’t figure out a way to keep you away without just telling you to stay away. He wasn’t one to cheat or to move on so easily— hell, he had been performing for years, and it took him years to find someone like you, someone who could make everything go away, someone he could actually fall in love with— so he couldn’t bring himself to lie to you. He just needed you to trust him and to just stay away.

“Just get out of my face. Don’t ever come near me again,” Mingi bit out.

He didn’t even brush past you on his way out. He completely avoided you. You fell to your knees and cried as the curtains to the room swished upon his departure.

Before he could even get two steps away from the dressing room, Mingi ran into the one person he did not want to run into.

“Dude, I did what you fucking asked, okay?” he held his hands up and took a step away from him. “I didn’t do shit.”

“I know. I just came to collect,” he responded. “We’ll be out of your hair.”

Mingi nodded and quickly got away before the conversation could persist. He left the venue and slammed the door on his way out. He wanted to just run away into the night, but it was pouring. Of course it was raining. He settled for leaning against the side of the establishment and fishing his carton of cigarettes and his favorite lighter out of his back pocket. He lit one up and took a deep drag before the pain in his heart started to subside.

“I thought I’d find you here,” Mingi heard the bassist’s voice behind him.

“Not now, Yeosang,” Mingi murmured.

“No, dude. Spit it out. One day, Y/N was the love of your life, and the next you’re screaming at her to leave you alone? Nothing’s adding up,” Yeosang pushed further.

“Yeah, we’ll only be able to help you if you tell us what’s going on,” the keyboardist, Yunho, added.

Mingi found himself boxed in by the members of his band and let out his twentieth deep sigh of the day. “Fine,” Mingi mumbled as he took another drag from his cigarette. “But after I tell you guys, I don’t want to hear another word of it. I don’t want to hear her name ever again, got it?”

The men nodded, allowing Mingi to finally reveal what had happened between the two of you.

“Hey, who was that preppy chick in the front row?” the red-headed drummer asked his fellow bandmates.

“Beats me, dude,” Yunho shrugged. “She definitely doesn’t belong here, though.”

“Yeah, she’s like super preppy and shit,” the guitarist giggled.

“Isn’t that your type though, Wooyoung?” the drummer pointed out.

“…Shut up, San,” Wooyoung grumbled.

“It is weird, though. I’ve seen her so many times at our concerts. Is she one of our groupies?” Yeosang asked.

“Are groupies even a thing anymore?” Mingi furrowed his eyebrows.

“She’s definitely not a drug dealer from the looks of her,” San mused out loud.

“Okay, that was one time, and she seemed excited to be considered a groupie. I wasn’t talking to her because she sold— and I’m not about that shit! I haven’t done any more since I met you guys!”

“Mingi! Chill, that’s not what he was talking about!” Yunho grabbed Mingi’s shoulder to calm him down before he could throw a tantrum. “Besides, you almost went to jail. We know you don’t do drugs, so you don’t gotta get all defensive on us.”

“Yeah, okay, fine,” Mingi reclaimed his shoulder and adjusted his sweater before plopping to the ground.

“Anyway, that preppy girl— how many shows has she been at now?”

“Eight,” Yeosang answered immediately, only for four pairs of eyes to shoot directly to him and widen. “Not that I’ve been counting! …I’m just observant guys.”

“”Observant”,” Wooyoung mocked.

Before Yeosang could get up to slap the giggling guitarist silly, there was a knock on the dressing room door. Mingi got up and answered the door to see one of the stage managers standing there, a look of irritation on their face.

“Yes?”

“I thought we said you weren’t allowed to give anyone backstage access,” the stage manager said with disgust.

“We didn’t though?”

“Uh, actually…” San interjected and slowly raised his hand, the other four bandmates immediately groaning and yelling at the boy.

“Come on, man— We just talked about this!”

“You seriously suck.”

“That email was literally sent for you, San!”

“Sorry, sorry! I’ll handle it!” San held his hands up and scurried out of the room.

“Someone go with him to make sure he isn’t going to do stupid shit,” Yunho sighed while rolling his eyes.

“On it,” Mingi grumbled.

Leaving the other three to apologize profusely to the stage manager, Mingi left in pursuit of San. He got into the lobby of the venue and saw San with his arm already around the waist of the girl he had invited back to the dressing room— that bastard. Mingi made a mad dash for them, only to turn the corner and nearly crash into you, the preppy girl that looked like she didn’t belong at a rock concert, the preppy girl that Wooyoung (and also maybe Yeosang) had a tiny crush on. Well, he nearly crashed into you, but that didn’t stop you from tripping over your own two feet and falling back on your butt.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” Mingi apologized as he held out a hand to help you up.

“Can you—” you were about to tell the tall figure off, only to see his face and recognize him as the lead vocalist of your current favorite band: IT’S YOU(TH). “— sign my bra?”

You immediately clapped your hands over your mouth, your face burning red from sheer embarrassment. Mingi couldn’t help but laugh— so many girls had asked him to sign their bras in the past, but no one was ever shy about it, so your reaction to the words flying out of your mouth was honestly hysterical.

“I mean, I can if you want,” Mingi replied, a chuckle still lingering in his voice.

“R-really?” you squeaked.

One signed bra, eleven concerts, sixteen dates, and eighty-eight days later, Mingi was absolutely in love with you. Of course, he would never admit it first, but everyone in IT’S YOU(TH)— and honestly the whole damn world— could tell that the lead vocalist and guitarist of the young up-and-coming rock band was head-in-the-clouds, rose-tinted-glasses, cupid-shot-an-arrow-through-his-soul in love.

“Okay, Miss Astronomer, what am I looking at?” Mingi whispered to you, his lips dangerously near your ear.

IT’S YOU(TH) just finished their set for the night, and Mingi had promised you that he would be right by your side as soon as the concert ended. The two of you had driven way out of the city to the local rural area and laid in the wheat fields while staring up at the night sky. You had promised Mingi a night under the stars when he found out you spent four years of further education to study astronomy and physics, and you were finally delivering on that promise.

“So, that right there?” you whispered back as you started your astronomy lesson. “That’s you.”

“What?”

“That’s the Leo constellation,” you giggled— Mingi wasn’t really one for astrology.

“Oh, I get it,” Mingi responded with a half-hearted laugh, then genuinely asked, “But where is it?”

“Right there,” you responded as you traced the sky.

“Where?”

“Here,” you reached for Mingi’s hand and held it so that his pointer finger would be out. You then brought his hand to the sky and traced it for him with his hand. “Right… There…”

Mingi shifted ever so slightly closer to you the second you held his hand, and you felt his breath hit your neck as he rubbed his nose against your ear. You stifled a little moan mixed with a giggle and brought his hand down, his fingers lacing with yours as he did so.

“Can I… Tell you about my favorite star?” you asked him as you turned your head to face his.

“Tell me.”

You completely turned your body and scooted closer to him, his own body turning so he could face you properly. He let go of your hand so he could move his arm under your head to rest, and you snuggled into his soft chest. You placed your hand lightly on his chest and whispered, “This one. You’re my favorite star.”

“God, princess, you’re so cheesy,” Mingi rolled his eyes, but he had the biggest grin on his face.

“You’re also the brightest star, the prettiest star, the sexiest star,” you continued.

“I’m sexy, you say,” Mingi’s baritone voice dropped further, sending tingles of excitement down your spine.

“Of course you’re sexy. Your messy, dark hair, your smokey eyeshadow, your dark eyeliner,” you started listing, your fingers running through his hair then tiptoeing down his face. “Your beautifully angled nose, your… Soft… Lips…”

Your eyes lingered on his lips— eighty-eight days, and he had yet to kiss you. Well, he had kissed you, but he gave you those fleeting kisses, the kisses so quick that if you blinked, you’d miss them. Or, he’d kiss you “properly”, but those were usually on your forehead or cheek or shoulder— basically everywhere but your lips.

So, when he held your chin with a soft yet somehow still firm grip and tilted your chin up, your entire body flushed with warmth, with anticipation. Then, when his lips pressed against yours, you felt like you were soaring. You always imagined his lips were going to be soft since you spent so much of your time staring at them when he was on stage singing his heart out, and they were so much softer than you could imagine.

One kiss, then he leaned back, his eyes slightly darting back and forth as he observed your facial expression. Your rosy cheeks and small smile, your eyes turning into half crescents and sparkling brilliantly— God, Mingi loved all of it. So he kissed you again, a little more drive and passion behind the second one, and the intensity of his kisses only increased the more he kissed you.

You clung to him as his hand cupped your face, his long fingers brushing the nape of your neck and making you even more flustered. Your breaths and sighs mixed with his as your gentle string of kisses got heavier and hotter.

“What else?” Mingi asked in between kisses breathlessly. “What else do you find sexy?”

“Your neck tattoos.” Kiss. “Your hand tattoos.” Kiss. “Your nails.” Kiss. “Your rings.” Kiss. “Your style.” Kiss. “Your voice.” Kiss. “You.”

“Fuck, you’re so perfect, princess,” Mingi groaned, sending shivers down your spine.

Mingi forcefully disconnected himself from you, making you whimper and nearly whine. He stood up quickly, and before you could even begin to pick yourself up, he scooped you off the ground and carried you to his car. Unlocking it, he laid you down in the back seat and got in with you, his lips mashing into yours the second the car door closed.

His body rolled into yours as his hands roamed your body, your own restless hands tugging at his clothes, begging him to take them off. The sounds of your feverish lip locks with Mingi overpowered the rustling of your clothes and the clinks of his belt as they hit the ground one by one, leaving you completely naked and Mingi in just his underwear. You didn’t know when he managed to, but Mingi grabbed the condom he had stashed in his wallet and tucked it into the waistband of his underwear.

You wanted to ask why he was waiting to, for lack of better words, give it to you, but all of the thoughts and questions in your head disappeared in a heartbeat when Mingi traced two light fingers along your folds. A sigh of pleasure rippled out of your lungs when you felt his fingers slide through your slick and curl within you, the tips of his fingers digging softly into your walls. You could feel his rings press against your folds— they had yet to enter you. But, when he pulled his fingers out then shoved them right back in, he went further, his rings pushing past and into your cunt.

“Oh shit! Mingi!” you moaned loudly as he fingered you consistently and roughly. “Fuck, it feels so good!”

“Just keep moaning prettily like that for me, princess,” Mingi rasped as he added a third finger to the mix, his other hand beginning to massage your breast.

Your nails left red marks on his shoulders as you clung to him, your fingers and toes curling with every stroke. You bit your lower lip every so often so keep your moans to a minimum, but all hope was lost when his thumb started circling your clit, one circle for every stroke, and it definitely didn’t help when he started spreading his fingers inside you and pinched and tugged your nipple. You raked your fingers through Mingi’s hair and pulled him closer to you as you felt your orgasm wash over you, your loud moan sounding through the car.

“Princess, did you cum?” Mingi asked, although he didn’t need to know because he could feel your walls convulsing around his fingers.

You let out a little noise and nodded weakly, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. Mingi caressed your face and wiped the tears away quickly before kissing you softly.

“Mingi,” you whimpered in between kisses. “I want you in me.”

You thought was going to laugh at the desperation in your voice, but he did anything but. He sat up and stroked your thigh gently as he said, “I’m going to need you to relax, okay?”

Mingi shed his boxers to reveal his massive cock. He just told you to relax, yet you couldn’t help but tense up when you saw what he was working with because he was fucking huge. It only made you even more fearful when you saw the letters XXL on his condom packet.

“Princess, just relax, okay?” Mingi instructed again softly.

He leaned down again and distracted you with his soft lips. His large hands went under your thighs and pushed your legs up, the length of his cock rubbing against your clit before pushing in slowly. You did your best to focus on kissing Mingi and tighten your hold on him to get yourself to loosen up to the best of your ability, but that didn’t stop you from feeling his like cock was going to tear you a new one.

Mingi kept his lips on yours as he moved slowly and calmly, his dick not completely leaving your body nor going all the way inside. He was just warming you up, but you felt like you were about to combust into flames with the way he was making you feel. You moaned and cried into his kisses while he grunted, his own restraint starting to weaken— he didn’t want to hurt you, at least not the first time the two of you had sex together.

The car bounced and shook when Mingi’s last string of self-control snapped. His cock filled you up and went so far deep inside you that you thought he was going to bruise your cervix. The sound of your sloppy kisses and heavy breaths and the raunchy squelches of his cock moving in and out of your soaking cunt harmonized, the sounds nearly escaping the confines of the car. What did escape, though, was your crying moan when Mingi rubbed against your G-spot and hit your cervix at the same time. The two of you came together, Mingi’s low groan ringing in your ears.

You were practically knocked out when Mingi pulled out of you, your weak and trembling hands struggling to push your sweaty hair away from your forehead. Mingi watched with slight amusement as you slowly started to regain your sanity.

“You look so pretty right now, princess,” Mingi said softly, nearly cooing. “I just want to see you disheveled like this under me all the time.”

“Tell me when and where, and I’m there, rockstar.”

After 100 days of being together, the problem started to arise.

“Hey, pretty princess,” Mingi greeted you as he walked into the coffee shop for your coffee date.

“Hey there, rockstar,” you greeted right back.

Mingi leaned down and kissed your lips quickly before taking the seat in front of you. He reached for your hands and held them, your hands fitting perfectly in his.

“Did you order yet?” he asked.

“Yeah, for both of us.”

Right on cue, one of the baristas announced your drinks were ready. Mingi got up and quickly returned with the drinks in hand. He set both the drinks down, your eager hands immediately picking up your iced one.

You only got to take one sip of your drink when your phone started ringing. You looked at the caller id and immediately declined the call before setting your phone face down on the table, Mingi warily watching all of your actions.

“Who was that?”

“Spam,” you replied with a frown— you hated lying to him, but to be fair, the caller was spamming you, and you had no intention of ever picking up the calls.

“Ugh, hate that,” Mingi grimaced.

“Tell me about it.”

The phone calls persisted. Every time the two of you went on a date or hung out or did anything together, you would get the “spam” calls. Mingi didn’t think much of it at first because spam calls usually were very annoying, but he started to worry when you phone would ring two, three, even four times in a row no matter how many times you declined the call.

“Hnngh— Harder! Fuck— Faster!” you shrilled as Mingi fucked you from behind. “Ugh, Mingi, so good!”

Your face was nearly smashed into your mattress as Mingi ruthlessly stuffed his large cock in your tight hole. He grunted loudly and affirmatively as he gripped your ass harder, his rings digging into your skin, your skin getting redder with his occasional slap.

Mingi was the first to notice. Your phone was on the nightstand, and it was ringing. He slowed his pace so he could reach over and grab it to decline the call on your behalf. He tossed your phone onto the bed near your hand and upped his tempo while pulling your ass higher into the sky.

And yet, your phone rang again. You quickly declined it before Mingi could notice, but he did. It was when it rang for the third time that Mingi had enough.

“Princess,” he grunted. “Gimme your phone.”

“W-why?”

“Just gimme.”

You unlocked your phone and pushed it backwards towards him— you trusted Mingi, so you had no problem doing as he asked. And Mingi didn’t abuse that trust. He simply opened the call log and saw the sea of red missed or declined calls, all of them from the same, unsaved number. He blocked the number and locked your phone before setting it back on the nightstand where it originally was, then he continued to fuck your brains out.

Mingi wanted it to be done then and there, which technically it was because you blocked the number, but that didn’t stop a bad feeling from manifesting within him.

“Yo, Mingi, you gonna meet us at the restaurant?” Yunho asked the singer.

“Yeah, I’m gonna call Y/N first—”

“You mean your pretty princess?” San teased— your name on Mingi’s phone was “pretty princess”, and the guys teased him all the time for it.

“Your pretty preppy princess?” Wooyoung piled on.

“Yes, my pretty princess. Go choke on some soju,” Mingi frowned and shooed the boys away.

The four other members of IT’S YOU(TH) skipped cheerfully away, leaving Mingi alone by his car. He started calling you only for someone to grab his phone.

“IT’S YOU(TH), huh? Cute.”

Mingi whipped around, his jaw tensing as he got ready to beat the shit out of whoever stole his phone from him.

“What’s your fucking problem, dude? Give my phone back, or I’ll beat the shit out of you,” Mingi warned aggressively.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” the same voice said.

Stepping closer to him, a man with a flowery charm but deadly eyes appeared before Mingi. He dangled his phone as he stood before him, riling Mingi up further. He tightened his fist and prepared to swing, only for two pairs of arms to restrain him. The two people behind him brought Mingi down to his knees and kept him there, one man kneeling on his back while the other had a fistful of Mingi’s hair tight in his grasp.

“What the fuck do you want?” Mingi asked, his anger intensifying. “If it’s money, I’ll give you however much you want.”

“I don’t need your money, guitar boy. I want Y/N.”

“What?”

The man crouched in front of Mingi and held his phone up, the lock screen of you and Mingi shining brightly. He pointed at you and said, “I want Y/N back.”

“Oh, you’re a crazy ex-boyfriend,” Mingi couldn’t help but scoff. “Listen, she’s not one for me to give back. She likes me, so she’s dating me. She doesn’t like you, so she’s not dating you. It’s her choice, dude.”

Without a warning, the guy punched Mingi in the face. Mingi’s cheek immediately started bleeding, his eye throbbing with pain. Before he could recover from the shock of the punch, the man sent a mean hook into his jaw, Mingi’s head flying to the side. The guy behind him held his head back up, forcing Mingi to make eye contact with the asshole that just punched him.

“She didn’t break up with me because she stopped liking me, you asshole. She broke up with me because of you.”

Mingi didn’t bother responding— villains usually always revealed everything without being prompted.

“Ever since she went and saw your cute little band, she told me she “fell in love with you” and that she would literally “do anything” for you. Someone like you with your fucking pretty boy make up and your painted nails and your criminal face tattoo,” the man sneered in Mingi’s face. “Someone like you of all fucking people.”

“Seonghwa,” one of the men behind Mingi uttered. “Get to the point.”

“Shut the fuck up, Hongjoong,” the man, who Mingi could now identify as Seonghwa, snapped. Turning back to Mingi, Seonghwa continued, “She was still dating me the day you signed her fucking bra. And then the concert after that, you fucking asked her out, and she said yes and dropped me in a heartbeat.”

“How is that my fault?! I asked her out, but she could’ve said no!” Mingi argued.

“It’s you and your fucking band’s fault for even existing, you asshole!”

Seonghwa grabbed the collar of Mingi’s shirt and pulled him up, the two other men behind Mingi still holding onto him.

“Hongjoong, Jongho, let go. I want to beat this guy up,” Seonghwa hissed.

“Seonghwa, calm down—”

“Fucking drop his ass!”

Hongjoong and Jongho let go of Mingi, and Seonghwa immediately swung before Mingi could stop him. Mingi fell to the ground, allowing Seonghwa to start kicking the shit out of him. He couldn’t even get away from Seonghwa, but thankfully, his two friends held him back.

“Do you really think Y/N is going to want to be with you if you do shit like this?”

“Don’t give her a reason to hate you, dude.”

“Ugh, fine!” Seonghwa admitted defeat before shaking his friends off. “But you, Song Mingi, you better break up with her or else.”

“Or else what? You’ll kill me?” Mingi scoffed.

“No. I’ll destroy the rest of your band.”

The color in Mingi’s face drained. He could handle someone threatening him, but the thought of anyone from IT’S YOU(TH) getting hurt because of him or disbanding because of him was terrifying to him.

“Y-you… You wouldn’t.”

“I can, and I will. Break up with Y/N, and you and your band can sing your silly songs for the rest of time. Stay with her, and I’ll drive everyone in your life away from you.” Seonghwa tossed Mingi’s phone back to him. He crouched in front of him and added, “You have ’til the next concert.”

With that, Seonghwa and his friends left Mingi next to his car bleeding, afraid, and alone.

“That’s why your eye was black?” Yeosang asked with shock.

“Yes.”

“Mingi… I’m so sorry,” San sounded like he was about to cry.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have to choose like that. Her ex-boyfriend is a complete psychopath!” Wooyoung added just as emotionally.

The three boys smothered Mingi with hugs while Yunho stood a little bit away, a frown plastered to his face.

“Alright, but now you all will drop it, right?” Mingi grunted as he tried to escape the group hug.

The boys nodded and verbally agreed. They started to head back inside, but Mingi stayed outside to burn through another cigarette. Yunho stayed with him.

“Don’t say anything, man. I know you,” Mingi sighed as he fished out his carton of cigarettes again.

Yunho didn’t say anything. Instead, he gave Mingi a silent hug, his hand petting the back of the singer’s head. Tears welled up in Mingi’s eyes. He dropped his face into Yunho’s shoulder and hugged the keyboardist back as he silently sobbed about his broken heart.

trope masterlist

trope taglist: @eyeryis @sinnarols @k-hotchoisan @aaasia111 @sunshineangel-reads @hwallazia @dazzlingstarrs @hyukssunflower

network: @cromernet

apply for the taglist here!

[onlyjaeyun]

can i talk my shit for a moment?

i've been thinking about enhypen a lot, i actually do on a daily because i have a problem but that's a story for another time, and every time i think about certain types of "engenes" i get so, so mad and just as sad and frustrated because we're literally witnessing the way enha as a whole are slowly losing the recognition and attention for their talent because the focus is slowly shifting towards their visuals and their fan service.

i can't even explain why this makes me so mad and maybe i'm just a baby engene who's a little sensitive and protective but it's just so frustrating to see people praise enha for their visuals and fan service only when they're so, so much more.

don't get me wrong, PLEASE praise your fave for their visuals, they're the hardest on themselves and the kpop industry is so visual focused, it'll do wonders to their self confidence and esteem to hear how much their fans love their looks and styles and visuals.

it's the fact that at this point i barely ever see anyone praise any member for their actual talent. maybe i'm on the wrong side of the fandom but whenever the boys are done with a performance, they go viral for their visuals and not the actual effort, energy, time and attention they put into that performance.

seeing the comments being full of people who only praise one thing about the members is just so..heartbreaking considering just HOW hard they've worked to be where they are.

they have received titles during i-land and are still standing up to those and the high standards everyone has set for them, so seeing their fan service being what gets people into the fandom makes me so sad.

heeseung is a fucking ace, mans can sing, dance, produce, rap – he's literally known for his immense talent yet his biggest headlines somehow always included his visuals, especially with the whole nose implant shit. yes, his fan service is top tier but he's more than that short flirty moment and i hate seeing people praise him for it.

jungwon keeps on showing everyone what a good lsader he is, that he actually deserves his title as the hidden ace but people never ever give him credit for what matters. that guy loves his fans so, so much he spends hours on weverse to chat and respond and always updates us on what's going on. he's so csring and sweet and yet ever since he's become an adult its yet again, just about his looks.

i don't even wanna talk about sunoo because his situation makes me SO mad in a way i can't explain at all. that fucker is so fucking talented and so gifted, he's literally worked his ass off all these years just for people to go around and go omg he's so pretty!!! and that's it. he's not just your little mlm projection since most engenes love to label him as such, he's so much more and deserves to be treated like the talented idol he is.

sunghoon is also of that category because tell me why people have made his visuals hs only personality when he literally was told he was born to be on stage. every single performance, every single song, every single tour night he gives his everything because he knows he's good but he wants to show the world that he's more than a pretty face. i wish people would just see his talent and dedication for once instead of his eyebrows.

jay is also a topic i dont even wanna talk about anymore because the treatment he's been receiving all these years from his own "FANS" is so embarrassing and heartbreaking. i have never, ever watched a performance where that fucker didn't give 150% of his energy and power, his dedication is so impressive and something to admire. he's not just your fashion icon with a pretty face and a sharp jawline, i might upset some of y'all, but he's just as much of an ace as heeseung to me and i wish people saw that.

riki literally left his home country when he was a child and was called the dance prodigy, became a member in the official line up at the age of 14 and yet people will literally do nothing but praise his visuals. that fucker came okt of his mama dancing and people dare to argue whether or not he's as good as engenes make him to be what the FUCK? ppl need to stop focusing on his face and actually look at him as a whole when they watch him bc how could we ever argue about his talent???

jake had a dream and an opportunity and that fucker took. it. he literally only trained for six months and now his dance challenges with other idols are some of the most viewed ones on social media. he's a pretty face and the biggest flirt ever, he loves his dans and doesnt hesitate to show it but i wish people would actually see how hard he works and how far he's come. he was never bad but he's literally at such a high level right now when it comes to his skills and stage performances, i feel like people just love to ignore that aspect of him bc of his intense fan service.

i can't believe i spent 10 minutes writing this but its been on my mind for so long and i really hope we as engenes can actually sit our asses the fuck down and start showing those boys and their talent the love and appreciation they deserve. they are a group of visuals, yes. no doubt. but they were also chosen to be in this group bc of their talent and their skills.

[blindmagdalena]

If A-Train was able to get a redemption arc, I don’t see why Homie couldn’t get one (I know he won’t). It’s just so annoying to me when people say Homie is irredeemable. I mean of all the villains of the show, he actually has a reason to be one based on what Vought did to him as a child and then as an adult. Like duh. What did they think would happen?? A-Train on the other hand, didn’t really have a reason to be a villain. He grew up with a loving family. He just turned out to be an asshole but gets a redemption arc. I just really want justice for Homie but it’ll never happen in canon. Thank goodness for fanfic and all the wonderful work you do!!!

so, i feel like there's a fundamental misunderstanding of the redemption arc here. the real reason Homelander is "irredeemable" is because he doesn't seek redemption. he has neither the moral capacity nor the desire.

redemption arcs aren't about who has the saddest backstory or who's more "justified" in their villainy. they're about people who feel genuine remorse for their actions and make the choice to do better. to atone.

Homelander doesn't believe he's in the wrong. he fully believes that he is justified in everything he does, and everyone he hurts. unless that CORE truth of his character changes, no, he cannot have a redemption arc.

A-Train, on the other end, is a perfect example of a well-executed redemption arc. he was absolutely NOT an asshole for no reason. sure, he wasn't raised in a lab, but his life was still FULL of abuse and exploitation. from the moment he was born, his parents pumped him full of an experimental drug. his father died when he was still a baby, and his mother worked two jobs while his young brother raised him. kids can't raise kids. his situation was tragic. i mean, for god's sake, his powers developed when he was a three year old (!!!!!!!!!!) because he was running away from the bullets of a deadly shooting towards his home.

so from the age of three, he became the breadwinner for his family. he was trained and likely performed in all kinds of ways. there's no way he didn't with how poor his family was. once he was old enough, he got picked up into Vought's programming and continued to endure god knows what kind of abuse from them. we know for a FACT that every child star of Vought ends up miserable and ruined in some way from the shit they're put through.

remember why he fell in love with Popclaw? "Here's someone who isn't afraid to be happy."

that's heartbreaking. he worked his ass off his entire life and didn't even know how to be happy because of it. even when he went to GodU, Brink commented that he was "the most driven kid he trained." because he had no choice! he was the one supporting his family out of poverty.

i'm not saying A-Train is perfect. i'm not even saying he wasn't an asshole. he was! but to claim he had no reason to turn out the way he did isn't fair. he did a lot of shitty things, he turned to drugs when his powers started to fail him, and he accidentally killed a woman because he was blitzed out of his mind on V... doing a drug run for Homelander. he's then forced by Homelander to kill the woman he loves. he did a cowardly, vile thing, and he has expressed nothing but anguish over it ever since.

but like... in the grand scheme of things, was he really that bad? he spirals and struggles. he gets mocked, he tries desperately to find his identity. the fact his brother shames him for not being connected to a community he was unplugged from because he was shunted into fame and exploitation at a young age sucks.

Reggie, that sweet little boy, was failed in every conceivable way and he became a dysfunctional adult that did shitty stuff because of it. now he's gained perspective and he's working to make different choices. i've been hugely invested in his arc because it's GOOD character work.

so while i appreciate and agree with the sentiment and wanting better for Homelander, redemption comes to those who seek it. so far, we have not seen any indication Homelander ever will. maybe he'll pull a Darth Vader moment at the eleventh hour for Ryan's sake, who knows!

either way, on his own merit, A-Train deserves the chance to be and do better.

[nightcolorz]

Prompt: for whatever reason (cursed object, vengeful witch, wrong wish to a djin, whatever) Armand is human and his memories are only until the point where he got the mortal wound

He doesn't remember ever being a vampire, now he is in a strange place where strange magical things are everywhere (the elevator, the TV, cars, the blender...) and he doesn't know how he got here, doesn't recognise the strange old looking man nor does he understand his language but it is clear to him that he is like the Master

He is confused and scared but the man who is like the Master seems kind and he looks at him with love on his lilac eyes, he is very confused when the man doesn't respond to his advances and fears he'll be put out in the streets to fend for himself in this strange land so he tries extra hard to seduce the stranger

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD CONCEPT I NEED THIS FIC!!!

I loooveee fic concepts like this. Human Armand (Amadeo) is also like, so much of a different character than *The Vampire Armand*. Armand is incredibly resigned and self victimizing and weak willed, and Amadeo is a bad bitch who takes no shit. This little shit mocks the millennia yr old vampire to his face while he actively is beating the shit out of him + could rlly kill him, throws an ax through said millennia yr old vampires door cuz he’s been a dick to him, tells the performers at the party that Marius is killing people at to play funeral music as he dances around them, is a super athletic actually and a very skilled swordsman who won in a fencing battle against his violent ex to save his brothers (Assad zamans impressive pecks r character accurate believe it or not), responds to sexual harassment and rape threats by laughing in their faces, etc etc I could go on. My point is, I think it would be such a fun and interesting ride for Daniel to meet Amadeo, an armand who was still incredibly traumatized but hadn’t yet had his strength and agency cult indoctrinated out of him.

what’s interesting too is that Amadeo has experience with being thrust into a strange technologically advanced world full of perceived magic and devils work, that’s how he thought of Venice when he was sold there, and I think he would be able to adapt to it unusually well considering his situation. I could see an Amadeo equivalent of Armand’s technology explorations and blender experiments happening 100%. And he would 1000%% attach himself to Daniel and get weird and panicky over it. The idea of him trying to seduce Daniel to get himself security and failing bcus Daniel doesnt want to have sex with someone in such a vulnerable position and neither of them r either to communicate their perspective is heartbreaking 😭 but so character accurate. I imagine Amadeo would be confused by Daniel is refusing his offer of sex but still taking care of him and offering him shelter. He’s probably anxious as hell waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Sooooo much potential here!!! Anon I rlly hope u write this cuz omg!!

[marchsfreakshow]

It's A Sin [Jimmy Darling]

Angst. Maybe a good ending.

Dandy stole you. That's what Jimmy thinks anyway. You wanted to take a break, and you left the Freakshow for a while. In that time, Dandy wooed you. You didn't come back. Even if you did, Dandy wouldn't let you.

I'm so sorry for this, I just thought of it and thought it would be good to get back into writing for Jimmy<3

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Weeks passed.

Months.

You hadn't come back.

"leave it, Jimmy. Seriously...they would've come back by now." Eve mentioned. But he couldn't. He couldn't just live his life without you to help him and live by his side. Fucking Dandy.

Jimmy sat by the ticket booth, day after day. Not eating, drinking, not even looking back once. Still with a glint of hope in his eyes that you would come back. Back into his arms, and into the Freakshow where you belonged. He held the picture of you in his hands, always. Standing with Elsa and Ma Petite, performing together, smiling the night away. But Dandy just couldn't help himself.

He couldn't stop himself from wooing you with the possibility of a warm meal and a fluffy bed every single night. Being with a man who won't be charmed by other women and was 'normal'. You defended Jimmy at first, saying how he was as normal as you or I. But the baby wasn't having it. He stomped around screaming nothing until he picked you up and threw you in the car. "You're mine now." He seethed. You spat and tugged at the car door. Locked. A shit-eating grin appeared on his face when you realised you couldn't get out.

The drive was silent and awkward. You muttered insults. Dandy ignored. But when you got to the manor, you ran. You ran as far as you could. Away from Dandy.

That's what Jimmy hoped anyway. He hoped you were running. Back towards your home. In reality, you were swooned ever so slightly. You were Dandy's now. Sleeping in a plush, big bed every night with a warm breakfast in bed in the morning. You could live like this forever. Everything you ever wanted, right at your fingertips. Where was your Jimmy in your mind? The last thought in your mind when you fall asleep at night. How he could also be happy like this, but he refuses.

Every single thing about you was missed. It was starting to feel wrong. To love you and miss you so much. Heartache, heartbroken, lost. Desperately waiting and searching for you every morning. Waking up every morning wishing you were still asleep in his arms, missing the way you kissed him so gently, and how Motherly you were with Pepper and Salty. Pepper cried when she realised you were gone. One of the kindest souls, abandoned her, more heartbreak. Jimmy felt guilty for you. He couldn't look them in the eyes anymore. The man spent hours staring at your photos, missing your pretty laugh more day after day.

"I miss them so badly..."

"I know Jimmy. I know. But there's no point sittin' and mopin' around in front of the tent all day. Come eat."

"go away Ma.."

He couldn't bear to look his mother in the eyes. He was betraying everyone, but he wanted nothing more than to see you running towards him on the road, jumping into his safe, protective arms once again, and being back home. She sighed, and just turned away, walking back into the Freakshow tent.

Time passed.

A cold October night.

No one around here, no one there.

Breaths, and slowing down footsteps. A lit-up sign in front of their eyes. 1am. No one behind them, to the right, left or in front of. No car following them quietly. Opening the curtains, they walked in. Radio silence. It felt like they had to walk on air. Everything was the way it was when they left. When they walked out of the door, and out of the freaks' lives. You heard your beloved nickname. "Schön..?" Elsa asked quietly, standing in shock. Whether it was happy or angry shock you didn't know until she rushed to you, a grip around your tired body pulling you up. "Mein gott.. schieße.." German mutters and swears.

"I never shoulda left Elsa. Darl', I'm so sorry.." you whispered into her shoulder, knowing to hold in your tears. Both of you spoke for what felt like hours, and now you were standing by the stage, waiting for Elsa to signal you.

"seriously Elsa? This has to happen now?" You missed his voice. You felt like putty already, but you silently coughed and stood up straight.

"Yes! It cannot wait any longer." Jimmy tiredly chuckled. Oh, how you could be a puddle right now, entranced by him just like you were when you were first introduced to him. Lights cut, you stepped onto the stage with shaky legs and hands, facing the wall. The sudden awareness of lights made. You take a deep, incredibly shaky breath. Jimmy recognised you instantly. He stood up, anger, confusion, and love filling his brain. And in a second, you spun on your heel. Eyes meeting eyes. Seeing the sadness in Jimmy's look made you want to fade into the wall and never address him ever again. He muttered your name as the urge to fall to your knees grew.

"Jimmy.." you muttered back, half smiling. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You were almost cut off as Jimmy jumped to meet you on the stage, holding your hands tightly.

"Why? Why Dandy? Of all fuckin' people?"

"Because I was selfish." You looked away at the ground, feeling too guilty to ever look in his eyes again. "I was fucking selfish and lacked judgement. This is home." A hug was the last thing you expected as a response, but Jimmy held you tight, what you had craved for the last two months. He sobbed into your shoulder, and everything hit you like a freight truck. Hearing the one you loved to cry, realising how badly you fucked up. It made you burst, gripping the loose fabric on his back.

"Jimmy Darling, darling, I never shoulda left you. I'm sorry for being an asshole."

"My pretty sweetheart.." he muttered, holding your face, both your eyes and his, glassy. And a kiss. One like never before. Desperate hands around his neck, your back, weak knees, small giggles and smiles. Being held by the one who gave you the world despite everything. This felt right.

"I'm so glad Elsa woke me up." He chuckled, resting his forehead on yours.

"I'm glad I came back."

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tagging: @taintandviolent @babygorewhore @slvt4jamesmarch

[virgo-79]

I've seen some ofmd fans upset by the recent barrage of nastiness from people yacking up spite and buzzwords like cats with hairballs, who have asked how to handle/respond to the word vomit.

There are two answers to that, my duckies. One, you can ask them why they're posting about fan activities instead of about whatever humanitarian crisis they're using as a prop in their masturbatory fugue state of self-righteousness. This is your basic "what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament" situation. And then you can tell them to go fuck themselves in the neck.

Two, you block them and have some ice cream, or possibly a donut. Whatever you're in the mood for.

You do not owe these people a justification of what you find passionate joy in. You do not need to perform morality on the internet for people who actually think they can make a meaningful determination about a stranger's character by reading their tweets. These people are not interested in helping a suffering population; they're interested in belittling others. People who genuinely want to help others don't behave like that; they just help others.

There is a lot of scary, infuriating, heartbreaking conflict going on in the world right now. And we should care, and stay informed -- from reliable sources of information and with our critical thinking engaged -- and help where we can. (And when we do, those helpful acts do not need to be paraded out on the internet to prove we care.)

There is also nothing wrong with pursuing the things that bring us joy. You're not a bad person for that. You do not have to forego things that bring you happiness and give you some escapism because there is violence in the world.

So the next time some nothingburger of an Instagram addict starts shitting the bed about how they saw Goody Proctor at the fundraising post, tell them to go get bent and block them.

[the-gayest-show]

The Haunting of Wells House/Best of Luck Review/Analysis

NEW EPISODES AGAIN YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

The Haunting of Wells House:

I love a fun episode to get my mind off the angst of Operation Birthday Take back!

The gag of this being a paranormal TV show were so great! So many minor things I loved like the "Paranormal Pursuit" show title they keep saying. Literally cracked me up the way they were saying it.

I also adore the interview gags, you cannot tell me this ain't so fitting for both of them!

"My local paper called my performance of Ebenezer Scrooge 'Not as bad as it could've been'" 😭

Her expression is golden.

Also the reference to that one painting from Cosmo and Wanda was a nice touch (I mean they already had The Scream up there before this)

(The original is called American Gothic, I had no idea! I knew the art piece generally but didn't know the name till I googled and it and suddenly boom that's the name. AND it's from the 1930s! Ain't that cool stuff!)

Jorgan reappearance! We haven't seen you in like. A bit. I'm pretty sure not since the fairy testing thing but I could be wrong. "Father Jorgan" I love how Wanda and Cosmo literally summon him for the sole purpose of "exorcising" a ghost fairy. Funniest shit on Earth fr. Bro was NOT built for the "Father" role. HE LITERALLY GETS "DA RULES" OUT INSTEAD OF A BIBLE IM CRYINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Also why does bro just have like so many cassette tapes? Are they all cursed? Are more fairies trapped in tapes or something? And it's a LARGE collection. WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT MANY TAPES JORGAN WH-

Overall, this episode was fun as hell and I ADORED Hazel and her dad's dynamic together. Tbh it's so cute! Hazel is so enthusiastic about hunting for the apartment ghost with her dad it's so wholesome 🥺 I honestly love the father/daughter duo sm an episodic adventure episode is so nice. Also the TV segment thing was awesome af, enjoyed that a lot. I feel like it's probably in reference to Buzzfeed Unsolved or something.

Best of Luck:

Ohhhhh boy, Dev is back again! And it is NOT looking good! I found this episode to be kinda heartbreaking for many reasons. This entire episode essentially revolves around Dev wanting to make "rule breaking" wishes (eg. win the tournament and that t-shirt) but Peri (being normal about Da Rules) tells him he can't (because he can't) and Dev and Peri have a little fight in which Peri seems to quit. I find that looking back, he might've been crying?

Bro's got tears rolling down his face and everything!

And then he gets replaced with Minecraft Steve Foop Irep, who retains the cube shape he was born in (is this a glimpse into a potential timeline where Peri would've been a sphere?), and really hates his name change unlike his normal fairy counterpart.

HE SAYS HE'S MORE ATTRACTIVE 😭 If only he knew that Peri was a Tumblr sexy man and he.... isn't.

Anyway, Dev literally uses the anti-fairy powers of not giving a fuck about the rules to essentially wish his way into winning the stupid prize, while giving Hazel bad luck (which she manages to get past using good luck charms) and making her lose the tournament.

-

Important thing, let's talk about that scene after Dev wins. He's expecting Hazel to be upset about losing, like... really upset. When she's not that upset and takes losing normally, he lashes out at her.

He WANTS her to react like how he's been reacting to the thought of losing the competition. I think this is still a reaction to his dad being neglectful at the party (and he very likely hasn't stopped being absentee since then). He's projecting his own emotions, and rejecting Hazel's attempts to be nice.

"I don't need your caring and understanding, Hinkle!" (This is also a sign of Dev's detachment from Hazel, since he reverts back to the "everything but calling her Hazel" bit)

He's more happier with physical things rather than emotional. He seems to avoid the emotional wishes, likely a coping mechanism for the neglect, opting to use the rule free wishes of Irep to wish for money, love from some classmate (who he's never been shown to love back in any way before this), to be the King of America (bro really invented monarchy for a monarchy-less country. Crazy.).

And then he literally wishes for Cosmo and Wanda to be nothing! To kill them essentially! I think that's driven by Dev's idea that having two fairies is better than one (a concept I remember being battled on with Remy Buxaplenty and his one fairy), even if it isn't and they're all still bound to the same rules, and by some motivation to get back at Hazel, likely another projection of his feelings.

Just before the mini battle ends, Dev exclaims that he's "finally going to get everything [he's] ever wanted" and that they're ruining it for him. I think, deep down, Dev really wants his dad's affection. I've mentioned this before in the review I did for the Take back episode, but he seemed so devastated about the lack of attention from his father then and even way back from scavenger hunt episode when Dev and Hazel first bonded with each other. Personally, I think Dev was likely going to use Irep (and his ability to basically with whatever, in Dev's eyes) to wish his father could be different. I think that was the real goal, and all the physical stuff was for show and very surface level wishing.

Dev's rejection of Hazel eventually gets to Hazel herself, where she chucks the shirt at him and says "Fine! Take the dumb shirt! I hope it was worth it." Hazel is probably very much done with Dev for the time being, because she tried to reach out to him but she could see he doesn't want any of it.

Let's spawn in the question of Peri. Peri technically should act as a father figure or some kind of parental figure in this case, but he's defo been screwed over by the council for giving him this boy with issues and seems to resent him for constantly not listening when Peri says that some things are against the rules, which is why he temporarily takes a break. I know someone on a discord server pointed out that Peri isn't really bonded with Dev yet, and that really rings true.

You can see this when Peri pretty much ignores his godkid in favour of his parents (which I guess contextually could be described as just being wrapped up in convo, but knowing his track record it's likely the former). THE KID WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE! SAD! Peri, to me at least, doesn't seem like he's emotionally equipped for the job of truly being there for Dev. Cosmo and Wanda seemed way better at this in OG FOP, where they constantly looked out for Timmy, even if he was a bit of a brat at times. But Peri really does care, even a little, as evidenced by the fact that he was jealously watching over Dev while he was gone. He wanted him to call Peri back. I wonder if Peri will figure out how to adjust to being a more parental figures than he hoped, because for now it seems he's thinking about this more as a job than an actual child he has to take care of. I hope he'll improve that aspect of himself, especially concerning the finale.

-

NOW ON TO THINGS I NOTICED!

AYOOOOOO FLIPPED GENDER ROLES OF THE KNITTING AND READING NEWSPAPER LETS GOOOOOOOOO

It's also kinda weird to me that they sorta fly up and come out of the box at Hazel's school after this. It gave me the vibes of "we're living inside the box" but they aren't? Wasn't that their home? Anyways.

I said it once and will say it again: Irep is built like Minecraft Steve. You can't change my mind.

Mr Guzman is so happy at the new nickname lol. He's got that 😎 expression.

JORGAN YOU ARE BACK AGAIN. DOUBLE WHAMMY RETURN. TWO EPISODES IN ROW, KEEP UP THAT STREAK DAWG!

I guess there's a fairy HR too? And I thought the DMV was bad enough. Placing my bets on a fairy godparent union now.

Overall this episode had a lot for me to ponder on and now I wonder what Dev's gonna do with the information about anti-fairies he's gonna collect (how the fuck are the o-pears gonna know shit about this anyway). One of the episodes is Irep and Dev taking over fairy world, so I guess minecraft Steve is gonna make a reappearance, plus Dev will likely try to take over Fairy World with the same vulnerable-ish state he's in. I LOVE the plot thickening! FUCK YEAH BITCHES WE GETTING LORE

[aifsaath]

I’m sorry what this show has done with Aegon is unforgivable. He doesn’t know High Valyrian??? What the hell. This isn’t America where you can’t get way with not knowing a second language. It’s Westeros. He’s a noble he has to learn it + he’s literally half-Hightower. And Aemond. Condal’s favorite character can do wrong even when he’s performing biblical level of fratricide cause leaving your brother to fight a bigger dragon when your there is fratricide. Like i can’t see how someone can watch this episode and see Aegon as the bad guy!!! Like, Condal will the righteous Aemond arc end???

The show needs so desperately for the viewers to side with Rhaenyra and to think that Aemond is cool, that they need to take shit on the one character that actually has a tragic, heartbreaking arc who killed no kids and who didn't need a huge ass dragon to make his peepee feel big enough.

But what do I know. Show Alicent is a mercurial cunt whose skull cavity is filled with glittered pictures of rhaenyra. She's so obsessed with anything but Aegon's well-being, that she perhaps forgot to get lessons in HV for Aegon as well.

The show is at this point like those copy paste fanfics where Aemond switches to team black just because. The only thing missing is him being lured in by Rhaenyra's daughter as a motivation for him torching his brother.

This is not a story. This is a character assassination.

[afrognamedfizzarolli]

Helluva Boss Season 2 break down. Pt 2: Apology Tour!

I have a feeling this is how Apology Tour will start: Blitzø breaking down due to overwhelming self loathing. Possibly due to someone else going off on him. I believe the cake(? Some sort of food) depiction of him isn't real, but something he's picturing.

Honestly I don't have a damn clue how we got here, but it seems Stolas is performing at a Verosika show, them bonding over there shared heartbreak from Blitzø, made most obvious by the curtain behind them with "BLITZO SUCKS" spelled out in huge letters.

I also think its possible this is the first time we will see the Envy Ring. As the sky looks more purple here to me than in Lust. But i might be crazy.

My assumption is Blitzø crashes the show, why and how I am also not sure. I have a few theories but they aren't rooted in much. Presumably him and Verosika get into it, landing them both in jail. I think here we will see similar to in Oops him and Verosika fighting about their past, that leads to actually communicating, them both finally seeing the others side. They end up working together to escape.

Also want to point out that the window behind Verosika shows what might be a green sky. Which would be kinda strange for them to have traveled to a completely different ring. The neon light in the back of the cell seems to be more of Lust's aesthetic. So honestly who fucking knows what ring they are in anymore.

I think these take place after Blitzø and Verosika escape. Possibly them talking about his relationship with Stolas, and her pointing out the blatantly obvious to Blitzø that Stolas does love him.

I believe the close up shots of them do take place directly after one another, mostly because they are in the same outfits they are shown to be in in their respective clips with Verosika. I think again this is finally them communicating and understanding each other, and possibly here is where they officially become a couple.

I believe these shots of a fight sequence in the Lust Ring are going to be this episodes B plot. We get parts showing Millie, Loona, and Moxxie (and the cool mega man looking ass robot) but no Blitzø.

These clips are a little difficult for me placement wise. They would fit with my expected story line of this episode where Blitzø is remembering and regretting everyone he has hurt. Although I have a feeling they are actually from Mastermind, Ill elaborate on [my post for that episode]

I'm not completely sure where the shot of Millie with the broken glass fits, its been a really tricky one for me. I do not think it has anything to do with Blitzø, like how the line playing when it comes up alludes to. This episode is my best guess, but honestly it could fit a lot of places.

I want to include this background detail from Hells Belles that may have possibly been foreshadowing to this episode. The sign does say "Pride Tour" though, which AGAIN just fucks with what ring this damn episode takes place.

Again I am sorry for the shit photo quality, and possible bad grammar and spelling. I currently have the posts for the rest of the episodes nearly done so expect those in the next few hours ♡ I'd love to hear any other ideas or theories about the upcoming episodes, or anything I missed/got wrong!

Pt. 1: The Full Moon | Pt. 2 :Apology Tour | Pt. 3: Ghostfuckers | Pt. 4: Mastermind | Pt. 5: Sinsmas

[iris-sistibly]

I look like shit right now, but hear me out: Episode 12 drove me NUTS!!!

📍For a moment, Hong Hae-in gave me a heart attack. I really thought that she wanted to spare Hyun-woo the heartache of her not being able to recognize him anymore and just went with Eun-seong. My brain cells weren't brain cell-ing, of course she had other reasons...duh. But it is really terrifying that she has moments when she can't recognize what's real and what isn't. I do however love the part when she knew that she was with the real Hyun-woo. In any scene or in any situation they've been, Hyun-woo radiates that kind of warmth that makes Hae-in feel relieved, secured, and loved. That right there is, "The heart recognizes what the mind can't."

📍I forgot to include this in my last post because I was in a hurry to finish it, but I laud Kim Soo Hyun for doing a great job during the final scene of episode 11. You can instantly recognize that something felt off with the way "Hyun-woo" called Hae-in, like I said earlier, the real Baek Hyun-woo radiates so much warmth, meanwhile the fake Hyun-woo was cold and I can say that he made me feel uncomfortable. What an amazing performance KSH!

📍Hyun-woo and Hae-in using their baby's due date as their pass codes just means that they still think about him/her. 🤧 Oh that baby could have been so loved by them had they been given the chance.

📍Eun-seong's delusion is worsening. When he was confessing all of his bullshit to Hae-in, I was like...so what? So what if he fell for her first? If he kept her necklace all these years, if he had "loved" her all this time? The point is, HAE-IN DOESN'T LOVE HIM AND DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH HIM!

📍All the while, I thought that Eun-seong is a dangerous man. Turns out Mo Seul-hee is far more unhinged than him. You can see in Eun-seong's eyes that he was taken aback when his mother confessed to being the person behind the deaths of the people who abused him as a child. Bitch wasn't kidding when she said that she'd go as far as eliminating Hae-in for using him, and Eun-seong may be dumb but not-so-dumb to not know what Seul-hee is capable of. I still feel like he's going to betray his own mother to save Hae-in by either helping Hyun-woo or helping Hae-in in his own twisted way.

📍BAEKHONG IN THEIR MARRIED COUPLE ERA!!! I love that Hae-in can now freely say what she truly feels about Hyun-woo and the hubs gushing when she said that she'd still marry him in any lifetime.

📍The sunset proposal was the reason why I had to pause because I was bawling my eyes out, I kid you not. Hae-in wanting to be officially Mrs. Hyun-woo again so badly but stopped herself because she knew her condition was worsening and she doesn't want to burden him anymore. She wants to spend the rest of her life with him but it's far from possible, she wants to be the wife Hyun-woo deserves but the future holds no guarantee. She was torn between following what her heart wants and not wanting to rip Hyun-woo apart more than she already has (because of her illness). It was such a heartbreaking scene that's why I was crying so hard.

📍And then, the writer and the director decided to shift the scene to Aunt Beom-ja and (future) new husband, the part when they were looking for (future) new hubby's mother and they were kinda like too close to each other, I was smiling because they looked so cute together so you can imagine that I was smiling from ear to ear with tears still running down my face. Also, I did mention before that Aunt Beom-ja is a more unhinged version of Hae-in, actually...auntie and future new hubby are kinda like the older version of BaekHong, only crazier and more chaotic.

📍Da-hye finally realizing that she sided the wrong people. I'm just glad that she was able to get out safely and return to the Hongs. But I am so proud of Soo-cheol for manning up and defending Da-hye and baby Geon-u, he's really growing up 🥹.

📍But I didn't really expect that Hong Man-dae aka grandpa Hong would make such a huge sacrifice to save his family. He was an idiot for trusting Mo Seul-hee but I never wanted him dead. He didn't even get to see his family before passing (except Hae-in but it wasn't like a happy reunion) which was so fucking tragic. Though, I do hope that Papa Hong would finally have the courage to step-up as the head of the family, he's their pillar now and they need him more than ever.

📍Can we talk about the last clip for a bit? I know the show apparently loves to give us viewers cliffhangers and mind boggling shit but I'm overthinking rn. What if they found nothing in the panic room? Or Yoon Eun-seong found it first? This story is unpredictable, anything could happen, but what I do know is that Hae-in is gonna wear the ring Hyun-woo gave her in the next episode. Iykyk.

📍THE EPILOGUE!!! BaekHong has crossed paths many times already and in those times Hyun-woo has saved Hae-in. They're really meant for each other!!

[cluescorner]

Thoughts on Canto V

Spoilers ahead. Also, disclaimer that I did not play it but instead watched it because I really like the story but I don't play the game anymore. I do not think playing it through would have impacted my experience, but do keep that fact in mind and let me know if you think my feelings would change if I had played it.

OH MY FUCKING GOD I REALLY LIKED IT! The characters were solid (though there are some problems), the theme of hoping for the future and allowing yourself to discover it for yourself rather than holding onto the past, and there were some incredible fucking moments.

Firstly, Ishmael. She was pretty stellar throughout. Watching her slowly degrade into becoming a mirror of the very woman she sought to destroy was heartbreaking, I felt like she actually had a real arc this canto that helped her become a less burdened person, and some of her deepening bonds with the other sinners were awesome. I particularly liked watching her interactions with Outis because Moby Dick and the Odyssey/Illiad are the two literary works from Limbus that I know well, and based on that info it makes sense that they would both understand and annoy each other. The moments with Heathcliff were also incredible because they've always had a really cool dynamic. Ishmael's relationships with her crew were also interesting and I feel like that could have easily been the best part of this cant, but ultimately that didn't end up happening (more on that later). I felt like the sudden character development 'Oh the other characters are my friends and they are my compass' thing was a BIG JUMP especially for Ishmael, but it's not a bad idea. I think it just needed more time in the oven, let Ishmael interact with the other sinners inside the dungeon and have her work together with them to get through things. Fortunately, Ishmael's VA + the Mili song really carried that ending so I still wound up getting caught up in the moment regardless. Speaking of Ishmael's VA...HOLY SHIT WHATEVER THEY ARE GETTING PAID IT WAS NOT ENOUGH!! Singlehandedly made me like this Canto so much more than I otherwise would have. An incredible performance all around, stand out moments include but are not limited to: Her ranting at the pirates about them not knowing what shame is, the euphoric hatred in her voice as she fantasizes about finding and killing Ahab, the grief as she discusses Queequeg and the hope as she sees Queequeg again, and OF COURSE WHEN SHE GOES AHAB MODE! Bravo Jang Ye-na, you carried this Canto through its weaker moments and helped the best ones become my favorite moments in this game.

Next, Ahab. I liked her a lot, fucking awful captain woman who reminds me of my old pastors. GOOD JOB MAKING THIS A FUCKING HORROR GAME THIS BITCH SCARES ME! I wish we could have seen more of her (and maybe we will in the future) because what we got was incredible. I was expecting a shitty boss but instead got another fucking cult leader. Her design is also a solid mirror to Ishmael's, further emphasizing the point that they are becoming more alike as this stuff goes on AND making the moment where Ishmael breaks the cycle of hatred more impactful. She is an incredible mirror of what happens where you allow hatred to consume you entirely, and the VA really reflects that. The only complaint I kinda have is that she probably should have been a lot more morally grey than she was. I feel like we just kinda got Kromer version 2 in terms of the role she played in the story and in Ishmael's life, granted that might change in the future so I will be very happy to be wrong if that's the case. But after Dongrang, I was expecting something a little more sympathetic or at least nuanced than 'evil cult leader captain lady hates that fucking whale and will kill her crew and makes that abundantly clear'. Again, I do like what we got so I can't complain too much but still.

I LOVE THAT BIG FUCKING WHALE! SCARY FUCKING BIG WHALE COMETH! ELDRITCH WHALE!

The Indigo Elder is so fucking cool. I wish he were here for more than 3 minutes and actually had something to do. They really introduced a man by having him tear the arm off the guy who we were struggling to survive against, said he was a Color and that he killed another Calamity, teased this really cool plan, and then...he's just waiting outside presumably 1v1-ing the whale but we get to neither see nor hear about it at all. I hope he comes back and we can see him do cool shit, because we had an incredible set-up with mediocre pay-off.

Ishmael's crew...I loved them so much I wish they were in the Canto for more than 1 level. They should have been introduced MUCH EARLIER in order to have their deaths have more of an impact. We should have been in the whale for longer, even if it meant shortening other parts of the chapter, just for the crew. Because those are Ishmael's ties and these are the people who Ahab's hatred is robbing the world of. What we did get of them was very strong, but Starbuck and Pip got nothing in terms of character moment and time. Queequeg got a little bit more (by the way I love that Queequeg actually looked like the design team at least LOOKED at a Polynesian person, I'm so jaded from other gacha games that I'm thrilled somebody actually looks like they're from the culture they're inspired from. She looks like a buffer, female version of one of my Polynesian neighbors it's great.) and it made her feel a lot more developed. She was a solid adaptation of Queequeg and her relationship with Ishmael was so sweet. The moments we got of them together were some of the highlights and it made me really want them to manage to escape together. Of course that was never gonna happen, but still. I also don't like how we don't even see Queequeg and Starbuck die. Are we supposed to assume Ahab killed them to manifest the ego? Did we kill them? I see some criticism around the fact that they stood by Ahab's side at the end and wondering why they did that. And I get that criticism because it is weird, but also that's just kinda what cult leaders can do especially when they're the only reason you've been alive for however long + you're slowly being overtaken by BAD WHALE JUICE. I 100% buy that they chose to follow the Captain because the Captain is always right and even when She does horrible things Her understanding is elevated above ours. And if Her fight is our fight, then surely it is ok for us to die here.

I feel like this is also a criticism that only I care about but why is the story suddenly like 'oh revenge is bad don't do revenge'? Like, I get it revenge is bad and that was kinda the point of Moby Dick. BUT WE HAVE LITERALLY DONE SO MUCH REVENGE AND REVENGE WAS KINDA SINCLAIR'S WHOLE THING AND IT'S PROBABLY GONNA BE HEATHCLIFF'S! Why is revenge suddenly bad and 'oh no it makes you just like the other person' no it does not Sinclair did not suddenly become genocidal because he kept trying to murder Kromer. Is revenge only bad when it's successful? IDK, I just hate narrative inconsistency and this immediately jumped out at me.

Overall, I really liked this Canto! I have my problems with it, but they are relatively minor compared to all it does well.

[jungkookjeon0007]

Nights in Vegas | CH. 22 (JJK FF)

☆ summary: When Olivia flies to Las Vegas for her first ever BTS concert w/ her best friend, she was expecting to make lots of unforgettable memories... What she wasn't expecting was to end up with the lead singer, Jeon Jungkook, knocking on her hotel room door only to find her in nothing but a towel. What will happen when the golden maknae wants to see her again? Will it lead to heartbreak, or a promising future for them both?

☆ pairing(s): jungkook x olivia.

☆ ratings: (18+) for detailed sex scenes + harsh language.

☆ genre: smut, angst, fluff.

☆ word count: 1.66k.

☆☆☆☆☆☆

[Author's POV]

A few hours after his conversation with Bang PD, Jungkook was left feeling more broken now than ever. All the members were feeling that something wasn't quite right with the youngest and was really starting to worry about him. They were split up into two cars on their way to the stadium with Jungkook, Yoongi, and Namjoon in one car and Jimin, Taehyung, Jhope, and Jin in another following behind.

Jungkook leaned against the window with a very depressed look on his face as he watched the city pass by him. The two older members gave each other a knowing look and decided it was time that they intervene.

"JK. What's going on with you?" Namjoon asked in a worried tone.

"Nothing Hyung. I'm just really tired is all."

Rolling his eyes and scooting forward, Yoongi interjected, "I'm not buying that shit for a second Kook. We have known you for years, don't you think we wouldn't realize right away when you're not acting like yourself?"

Yoongi was much more stern, but still had a caring tone at the same time.

Jungkook finally let out a loud sigh, "It's really not something I want to discuss right now, okay?"

Namjoon shook his head, "No, it's not okay. You have us very worried about you and we're not performing until you tell Yoongi and I what happened to you today."

He sat there silent, fighting back and forth with himself about whether he should tell them or not. But, when Yoongi called out to him, he quickly came to a decision. "Fine, I'll tell you. But, I only want you two to know for now. I don't want to tell the others until I've talked to Liv."

They both gave Jungkook a confused look, but nodded their heads, listening attentively as he explained the entire call he had with Bang PD. By the end of his explanation, the two were baffled and could not believe what they were hearing.

"I don't have any words. I understand where he's coming from, but at the same time making her move all the way to Korea is a bit unfair." Namjoon stated.

"Right? I don't know what to do or how to even feel at this point. Asking her to move her whole life for me seems so selfish and I don't want her to have to make this kind of life changing decision just to be with me."

Yoongi turned toward him, "Kook, listen to me, she is a very down to earth person and always seems to have an open mind. You need to explain every single detail to her or it will blow up in your face. I don't want to give you tough love in a time like this, but this is your only option other than breaking her heart and ending the whole thing before we leave."

Both Jungkook and Namjoon snapped their heads in his direction, "What the hell are you even talking about?" Jungkook asked in a very serious manner.

"I'm talking about breaking this off with her before you leave Jungkook. If you don't want to feel wrong and selfish about this, then end it. But it will hurt you both like a bitch and either way you go about this, you have to be the one to make a decision, not us." 

"Hyung, that doesn't make me feel better at all. Now I feel even more depressed." Jungkook threw his head back, putting his hand over his eyes.

At this point, he just wanted to run away and cry in a corner by himself. This was becoming too much for him to have to deal with.

"Why the hell would you even say that to him Yoon? He has a choice yes, but I think he needs to at least give her the choices as well. You know what you want and you know what you'd choose, share that with her while you're talking. Let her know you'd love to have her with you in Korea so you could see her every day, but also let her know that if this is too much of a large step for her, that she can say no and you will understand and respect her decision regardless. It's going to be difficult, yes. But you both will be involved with the decision and you both can give your inputs to one another and talk it out properly."

Jungkook looked at Yoongi, "I liked what he said better."

Yoongi rolled his eyes, "You only liked it better because it's Namjoon. You don't like hearing me tell you the raw and honest truth, but I cannot help it. I will always give you exactly what I think when you ask me for my opinion. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but it's basically the same as what he said, he just said it in a nicer more sugar coated way."

Namjoon rolled his eyes as the car fell silent. Jungkook had a lot to think about within a very short amount of time. He will be talking to her about this tonight after the concert because there's no way he could wait until tomorrow, it would eat him alive.

. . .

They were now backstage getting prepared for set change number 4. The show is half way over and Jungkook has somehow managed to push all the stress from earlier to the back of his mind so he can give ARMY his all. This is their last concert in Las Vegas and he wants it to be full of memories and happiness, not stress and sadness.

"Let's go guys! Only a couple more sets and we are finished for the night! Let's all push through and have a great rest of the concert." Namjoon shouted.

All of the boys shouted and got pumped up while making their way to their positions, ready for another performance.

. . .

[Olivia's POV]

We were in our private room again as we watched the boys concert from backstage. It was their last one and you could tell they wanted it to be their very best.

Before the show, we saw them again and it was amazing but I'm not going to lie, I've been a bit on edge since then. Jungkook said he needed to talk to me when we go to the hotel, but he never said what it was about and I have been stressing over what it could be ever since he told me.

I don't know if I can handle what he will say because I know it has to be the verdict about us being together or not, and that is a very scary thought for me.

They went through the rest of their sets and before long were saying their goodbyes to ARMY. Once they were finished with the concert and ready to head back to the hotel room, Jungkook came to get me. "Hey baby, are you ready to go?"

I half smiled at him, "Yes sir, let's get out of here."

He smiled as he reached his hand out for mine. I grabbed it and we intertwined our fingers, walking to the car that was waiting for us at the back entrance.

There was a silence between us the whole car ride until we reached the hotel.

"Come on baby, let's get inside." He helped me out of the car and we swiftly made our way up to his room.

I started getting more and more nervous because once he unlocked the door and we stepped in, I knew whatever we talked about from this point on would change everything between us. He shut the door as I took my shoes off and made my way to the couch then took his off as well and threw his jacket down onto the bed, slowly making his way to the couch.bHe stood in front of me as he looked down at the floor and my heart was beating like crazy as I wanted to fling myself into his arms and cry. I felt like what he was about to tell me was not going to be the best, and I was just not mentally prepared for this.

"Liv honey. We- we need to talk about somethings."

I nodded my head in agreement as he took a seat next to me on the couch, taking a deep breath. "So, I spoke with Bang PD today and he gave me his stipulations..."

Immediately my heart dropped. I knew it.

"Okay, and what did he have to say?"

He sighed, "I am going to tell you but when I do, I want us to be open with each other and be able to talk about everything before making any hasty decisions, okay?"

"Okay. What'd he have to say Jungkook?"

He looked at the floor and tightly closed his eyes. "He-he said that in order to see if this will work-"

He stopped and looked at me, completely frozen.

"Kookie baby, it's okay. Tell me what he said and we will talk it all out, I promise."

He grabbed both of my hands tightly, "He said that in order for him to see if this will work between us, he prefers that you come back to Korea with me when I go home and stay there for awhile."

I instantly felt nauseous and my eyes got huge. I didn't even know what to think in this moment.

He wants me to move all the way to Korea?!

[yankpop]

Yandere NCT U: You want to become an idol (Let's play ball unit)

All copyrights belong to @yankpop (aka me) so do not post/translate my works on any other platforms without my consent/knowledge.

Check more: Masterlist.

Female reader

WARNINGS: Toxic/Unhealthy relations; emotional manipulation.

AN: Not all of them are in a dating situation. Hope you guys enjoy it 💖

-

Doyoung

“Again.” 

Your heart drops at the sound of that word, unable to hear it again. Your muscles are completely sore, the white top you’re wearing drenched in sweat. The result of practicing the same choreography for several hours. 

“But I did everything right this time!” you try to argue only to be shut down by your boyfriend, who gives you a stern look. “No, that’s what you think. I’ve been training and performing for years so trust me when I say this is far from perfect. No one will debut you if you keep up this poor excuse of dancing.”

His words are crude and they hit you in the wrong spot. Tears start rising to your eyes, your shoulders slumping forward with defeat.

Doyoung clearly notices the impact of his words, his expression immediately softening as he comes forwards to embrace you. 

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that, you know that. It’s just…. you asked me to help you practice and no matter how demanding you think i’m being right now, the truth is I’m nothing compared to professional choreographers level. They are going to be even more strict.” he tries explaining, offering you a bottle of water that you immediately accept. Drinking a greedy sip of water, you feel your whole body in fire, unable to do anything else. 

It’s too much for you, you can’t do it.

“Doyoung…I don’t think I want to do this anymore.” you slowly whisper, your face falling into your hands in defeat. 

“It’s okay, babe. Maybe being an idol isn’t for you anyways. It’s for the best, I’m sure of it.” Doyoung is quick to console you, embracing you and nuzzling his head on your hair.

He hides an evil smile, happy that you’ve done exactly what he wanted.

Jungwoo

Jungwoo’s reaction was something you didn’t expect. You assumed your fiancé would be happy, even thrilled to know that you would be joining him in the industry, only to receive a heartbreaking look as he blankly stares at you, mouth slightly open in confusion. 

“Please, don’t accept their offer.” he desperately begs, trying to hold one of your hands. His face scrunches with exasperation as he stares at you. “I really don’t want you to become a trainee nor an idol. It’s going to come between us and destroy our relation.” he sobs miserably, this time grabbing your shoulder to make you face him. 

It’s hard not to feel guilty when Jungwoo acts this way and you sigh. “But Jungwoo, I might like it…”

“You won’t like it, I promise. You’d hate it, it’s so damn stressful and if you do it, then we’d have no time for ourselves. It would lead to us breaking up and I don’t want that. I love you too much for that.” Jungwoo hastens to clarify, as he forces tears down his face. 

Hesitation fills your features but Jungwoo can see you’re close to giving up on this foolish dream, so he continues. Grabbing your face with his hands, he makes you face him, making sure you see his red eyes and sad puffy face. “Please, Y/N. Don’t do this. For us. If you’re committed to us, if you truly love me, then you won’t do this.” 

As soon as these words leave his lips, he knows he won. The look on your face says it all as you weakly nod, agreeing to give up on your newfound dream for the sake of Jungwoo and your relationship.  

Mark

You excitedly watch as Mark opens the box that you gifted him. You wanted him to be the first person to find out that you got casted by one of the Big 3 companies for a trainee contract. 

But you didn’t expect his face to turn completely sour at reading the papers, the realization hitting him. He pushes the papers away and turns towards, giving you a serious look.

“What’s this shit? Are you really considering going through with this? Without even talking to me?” he throws, raising his eyebrows. 

“But I…I thought you’d like this and-” you confusedly stutter around until you stop, too intimidated by the strict gaze Mark gives you. He stands up and starts pacing around the living room.

“Then you thought completely wrong. Fuck, what did I tell you about making decisions on your own?! Stop using your brain and leave the important stuff up to me since you obviously don’t know anything about this.” he furiously snaps, giving you an angry look that makes you shrink back into the couch. Grabbing the contract papers and giving them a quick verification. “At least you didn’t sign it. You’re not completely dumb, after all.” 

“Where’s your phone?” you raise your head, confusedly looking at him. Mark loses his patience and snaps his fingers in front of your face. 

“Your phone, now!” his loud yell awakens you from your lethargy and you immediately hand him your phone. He practically snatches it from your hold, dialing a number that he finds on the contract papers.

“Hello? This is Mark, Y/N’s boyfriend. Yes, about the trainee thing…,” Mark pauses, giving you a dirty look before continuing, “ actually she’s unable to do so because of some personal incompatibilities. Sorry for wasting your time. Bye.” he hangs up the call before the other person can even say anything. You can’t even utter a single word from how embarrassed you are.

You hold out your hand to receive your phone back but Mark ignores you and puts the device in his back pocket. “Since you pulled so much trouble, you don’t deserve to have your phone back until you start behaving accordingly.” 

Xiaojun

Xiaojun forces back a witty smile as he tries to console you. It does create a bit of a turmoil in his heart to see you so shaken up, almost traumatized but it’s all for a good cause. He puts his hand on top of yours, faking a concerned expression, like a good friend would. 

“And you’re sure you found it in the manager’s bag?” he asks again, like he was trying to understand it. You shakily nod, a shiver making your body tremble.

“Yes, I’m sure of it. My lost panties were literally in his bag. I just can’t believe my manager would steal my panties. For weeks, now! I really thought he was a good person, he never acted weird around us or anything so I don’t understand why..” you trail off, too shaken up to continue as Xiaojun involves your shoulders with his arm. 

“That’s really awful, so sad. And…” he strategically pauses, waiting for you to ask him. A second later you look at him, taking in his worried expression. “What is it, Xiaojun?” 

He shrugs off his shoulders, pretending to be confused. “I just… I mean, who tells you that he’s going to stop there, you know. He’s the manager while you’re just a trainee. Who knows if he doesn’t get bold with his actions and instead of just stealing panties he doesn't… you know.”

Xiaojun doesn’t  finish the sentence, knowing you’d understand the implicit meaning of his words and he disguises a malicious smile. 

Things get even better as a few days later you inform him that you’re quitting the trainee life to go back into college, hugging him and thanking him for being such a good friend.

Xiaojun rejoices with your touch but even more with the fact that his plan worked. He had some doubts but it went better than what he expected. Your manager never stole your panties, Xiaojun did it and afterwards stacked them in an older man’s bag, knowing you’d find them. 

Jeno

Tears stream down your eyes, wetting your shirt. “Jeno, please! Why can’t you understand?” you beg, only to encounter your boyfriend’s angry eyes. 

His brows twitch with rage as he looks at the piece of paper you had proudly handed him, throwing it back at you. You grab the document, sadly eyeing it. Your contract as a trainee. 

“Why don’t you understand then? I don’t want you to be in the industry!” he yells, hand roughly grabbing his colored hair.

“Do you think I want guys ogling and thirsting over you? Really? Or maybe that’s what you want, isn’t it?” he groans, an irritated growl leaving his lips as he points at you, who’s wearing a tank top and shorts. Typical outfit to practice, same as the other trainees. “To have thousands of fanboys drooling over you?” 

“It’s not like that, I promise! Jeno, I just want-” 

“No, that’s exactly what you want!” he interrupts you, turning his back on you and kicking a chair with such force that it falls on the floor. You flinch at his actions, but remain in silence and so does Jeno.

Both of you don’t speak for a good minute and you can see Jeno’s back suddenly straightening up as if he’s made a decision.

Turning back to you, he looks a bit calmer although a frown still adorns his face. He wets his lips with his tongue before speaking. “You know I love you, right? But I can’t accept this so it’s either being an idol or me. Simple as that.” he nonchalantly declares, but a worried wrinkle appears in his forehead.

Your mouth dries as you look at Jeno, your eyes widening with shock. 

“No, Jeno, please. We can talk this through and-”

“Not gonna happen. You have to make a choice and you need to make it now.” he shuts you down, watching your pretty eyes starting to water. It’s a bold move but he can’t allow you to do this. He won’t share you with random strangers, no.

Jeno already struggles with sharing you with your friends and family, he’ll be damned if he lets thousands or even millions of people have access to you.

No.

He just hopes you make the right decision or else….

Haechan

“Are you sure of that? Like, absolutely certain you want to do it?” Haechan asks you, a weird expression over his face. He scrunches his brows at you, biting his lip. His reaction makes you confused, not understanding why your boyfriend is acting so weird. 

“Yeah. I mean, I think I want to become an idol. You are one.” you point out, receiving a careless shrug in return.  

“I am, yes. But it took me years of training and lots of sacrifice. And in the end, it’s all a matter of luck.” Haechan claims, an intense look taking over his eyes as if memories are coming back.

“Fuck, there was a time where me and the boys didn’t sleep for almost a week because they wouldn’t let us. And that period when we could only eat an apple every two days.” 

You start appearing more and more scared as Haechan continues telling you stories and it makes the boy internally smirk. You getting scared of pursuing an idol career suits him just fine, he doesn’t need you having so much spotlight. Not that you don’t deserve it but he can’t stand it.

Only Haechan wants to give you attention. His attention. 

The more you look scared, the more Haechan lies. He improvises as he speaks and by the time he’s finished talking about the trainee life, although most of it consists of highly doubtful facts, you look like a wreck. 

You’re looking on the verge of passing out and ultimately decide to give up on the idol career.  Which makes Haechan more than happy. 

Jaemin

The table is awfully quiet, only the sounds of the plates and the cutlery being heard as you and Jaemin eat dinner. You don’t dare to pronounce a single word, too intimidated by Jaemin’s cold aura. He hasn’t even properly looked at you ever since you happily revealed to him that you got casted  in the street by a random lady to become a trainee. 

As you reach dessert, you finally build the courage to talk. 

“Jaem, I really want to try this.” your voice is barely above a whisper, but it’s still heard by Jaemin, who flashes you an icy glance. 

“And I really don’t want you to. That simple.” he shortly says, his attention back to the food. The uncomfortable knot in your stomach tightens, you’re not used to fighting back Jaemin. He’s the one who usually makes all the decisions and you obediently follow him, trusting his judgment.

This time, you’re risking into unknown territory all for  a mere desire to be a trainee. 

“I just want to try it, maybe I could like it, you know?” you tentatively try. Jaemin’s hand flexes hard around the fork as if he’s trying to contain his anger before pushing the plate away from him.  

“We had a plan, Y/N, didn’t we? I'll work and make the money while you take care of the house.” he sharply reminds you. You open your mouth to say something but Jaemin notices it and puts his index finger in front of his lips, indicating you to stay silent. 

“We are going to get married, then we have kids and you stay home to take care of them. This is what we agreed on, isn’t it? And now you want to change our perfect plans because of a selfish whim of yours.” he says, livid with cold anger as he crosses his arms in his chest.

“If I wanted to be with someone who’s unreliable, then I’d be with another girl. I’m dating you cause I thought I could trust you. Maybe I was wrong.” his eyes send daggers your way and you bite your lip, suddenly feeling guilty for almost ruining your future plans together.

Jaemin often talked about them with so much love and passion that you couldn’t stop yourself from agreeing with whatever he said. And now you can’t break his dreams because of something that may not work.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you weakly nod. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll back down from it.” 

Words never sounded so good to Jaemin.  

YangYang

YangYang gently kisses the top of your head, his hand rubbing comforting patterns in your back. “I can’t believe none of them wants me. Am I that bad dancer?” you question YangYang, commiseration all over your voice as your eyes shine with utter sadness. 

“It’s not like that. You’re probably too good for them anyways.” You glance at him, still not looking very convinced so YangYang tries again. “Look, if they don’t appreciate you then it’s their loss. They don’t deserve you, anyways. Fuck them.” he declares, nodding with his head in a determined manner.

“Maybe it’s simply destiny for you to not be able to sign with any company. It’s a sign that you shouldn’t be in the industry.” he affirms, watching you as you wonder about it. 

You give him a small thoughtful look. “Do you really think so?” 

YangYang has to contain himself from smiling widely, so much is his happiness. You're so naive sometimes.

“Of course, babe. Actually, you should take some time off from thinking about career paths, I mean, there’s no rush in it, right?” he says, a small bubble of excitement building inside him as he’s sure you’re gonna agree with him. 

You hum, still in deep thoughts. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I should take some time to think about it and then we’ll see about it.” 

This time, YangYang doesn’t even try to disguise his growing smile. “See? I’m always right. You made the best decision ever.” 

--

TAGS:

@mwitsmejk

[parkerslatte]

Songbird || TWENTY-ONE

Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.9k

Part Summary: The band perform in Pittsburgh.

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•••

TRACK TWENTY-ONE;

RUNNING AWAY FROM THIS CONVERSATION

…

Y/N L/N: I had decided to to a few more shows and leave the band sooner than I had planned. I hadn’t told anyone of my decision yet, I wanted to keep it quiet. It was their hometown show, it was meant to be a special moment for everyone…

…

“I can’t speak for all of you,” Billy spoke as the band huddled together backstage, “But I sure as hell wouldn’t trade this for anything. Thank you.”

“Alright, who are we playing for tonight?” Graham asked. 

“For family,” Billy says.

Y/N looked down, the only thing she could concentrate on was that letter from her mother. 

“‘Pittsburgh’ on three.” Billy says, placing his hand in the middle, one by one each band member followed suit.

“One, two, three, Pittsburgh!”

While in the huddle, Y/N kept a smile on her face but as soon as she stepped back, it faded. 

“You okay?” Warren asked as they got ready to walk on the stage.

Y/N turned to face him, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You can tell me if something wrong-”

Warren was cut off as Billy as the first to walk on stage and the arena erupted into cheers. Sparing one final glance at Warren, Y/N walked onto the stage, plastering a fake smile across her face.

Physically, Y/N was present, her body playing the songs through muscle memory. However, mentally Y/N was miles away. Eddie was the only other person to know about her mother and she planned to keep it that way. She didn’t need anyone else knowing. 

Warren’s gaze occasionally landed on Y/N and he could tell that her body was simply acting on autopilot. He briefly glanced over at Eddie and noticed him looking in Y/N’s direction, his eyebrows furrowed. Warren could tell there was something happening but he didn’t know what. 

As the band ended the song and all took a bow at the front of the stage before exiting, Warren quickly caught up with Y/N, “So what I was saying was that if you want to talk, I’m here.”

Y/N turned to Warren and gave him a tight lipped smile, “I know, but I’m fine.”

As Y/N grabbed a drink and stood near Karen, Eddie was getting ready to go back out on stage. Just as he was about to put the strap over his head, Billy approached him.

“Let me take this one,” Billy says, grabbing Eddie’s guitar before he could even formulate a response. 

…

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: You gotta understand, going about your life like that, you know, feeling like a second-class citizen in a first-class resort…it messes with you. It messed with me.

…

The smile on Eddie’s face fell instantly as he watched Billy walk onto the stage. Slowly Y/N walked over to him and gripped his hand but Eddie didn’t acknowledge her, he simply continued to look forward. Internally Eddie was angry, he was beyond that, but on the outside all that showed was the heartbreak. 

“Come on,” Y/N says softly, dragging Eddie away to a more secluded area. 

Eddie allowed himself to be dragged by Y/N as he finally tore his eyes away from the stage. 

“I can’t believe he did that shit!” Eddie exclaimed. 

“I know,” Y/N says softly.

“Who the fuck does he think he is?” Eddie paced in the small area where Y/N had taken them to, “That is my only moment of stage and he takes it away from me.”

“Eddie, trust me I know,” Y/N says, cupping his cheeks, “He sang my song.”

Eddie sighed, “I’m sorry, I forgot. I just can’t believe him.”

“It’s okay,” Y/N says, “It’s fine to be angry, trust me I was.”

Eddie sighs and leans forward resting his forehead on Y/N’s, “I’m done. That was the last straw. I’ll finish the rest of the tour then I’m out.”

“Are you sure?” Y/N questioned, wanting to make sure that Eddie wasn’t making a rash decision. 

“I’m sure.” Eddie says, “I’m sick of Billy walking over me.”

Y/N gently rubs his cheek with her thumbs, “I’m leaving at end of the week.”

“What?” Eddie questioned, “I thought you were leaving at the end.”

“I was but our conversation put some things into perspective,” Y/N says, “I’m not happy Eddie. I enjoy playing with everyone, you guys are my friends but I can’t keep pretending that I enjoy being in the band, with everyone and the fans. I want to make my own music, I miss it. And the sooner I leave the faster I can do that, I don’t care if I have to start from scratch.”

“You’re not happy?” Eddie questioned, his hands reaching up to tilt her head to look at him.

Y/N sighs, “I’m happy with you, Eddie. I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you. But with the band, the touring, the drama, my mother dying, I can’t do it anymore.”

“You’re leaving the band?” Warren questioned, coming around the corner. 

Y/N pulled away from Eddie and looked at Warren, the usual smile on his face gone. 

“Warren-”

“What are you three doing?” Rod questioned, “You need to get back on the stage.”

As the three slowly walked back to the stage, Y/N gripped lightly onto Warren’s arm, “I’ll explain everything after the show okay?”

Warren simply nodded before he walks onto the stage, Y/N following behind him, plastering a fake smile on her face to please the crowd.

***

Y/N sat at a bar, nursing her drink waiting for Warren to show up. Her leg bounced up and down as she waited. As they got off the stage, Warren didn’t look at her, he simply left the arena, she had to ask Lisa to pass along the message to meet her here. Y/N looked at the time and he was nearly ten minutes late. 

Y/N didn’t want Warren to find out she was leaving the band the way he did. She didn’t necessarily have a plan on how to tell him but it wasn’t going to be in a way where it would hurt him.

As Y/N took a sip from her drink, someone sat down to her left and ordered. Immediately recognising the voice, Y/N turned to face Warren. Neither of the two said anything, each taking small sips of their drinks. 

“So,” Warren says, breaking the silence, “You’re leaving the band.”

Y/N sighed, “Warren I didn’t want you to find out the way you did. I was going to tell you, I swear on that.”

“How long have you been thinking about it?” Warren asks.

“Honestly,” Y/N starts, “A while, but it’s nothing to do with you or anyone else. I never wanted to join in the first place, you knew that.”

“I know,” Warren says, “But I was hoping that you would change your mind, you seem to be enjoying yourself.”

Y/N offers him a smile, “I am enjoying myself, I’m playing music with my friends, but it’s not what I want. What I wanted was to make my own album, my own music, perform my own music for people and I can’t do that while in a band.”

Y/N places her hand on top of Warren’s, “Look Warren, I love you, you are one of my best friends in the world but I can’t stay in this band if I’m not happy. It will do no one a good.”

“I don’t want you to stay,” Warren finally says, “You never wanted this but I was still hoping that you would change your mind.”

Y/N squeezed his hand, “Warren I’m not leaving forever. I’ll still be around, you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Warren turned to Y/N and offered her a smile, “Good, because you’re not getting rid of me either.”

Y/N smiled before wrapping her arms around Warren and pulled him into a hug. The two stayed that way for a while. 

“I love you.” Y/N mumbled into his shoulder.

“I love you too.” Warren replied, “And I’m glad you’re doing something for yourself.”

Y/N pulled away, furrowing her eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

“Ever since you joined the band, Y/N, it’s like you’ve done things because it pleases other people,” Warren says, “You joined the band to please Teddy, you stayed in the band for everyone else. Earlier when something was clearly bothering you, you stepped up to make sure Eddie was okay. Every time someone needs something or needs help, you are the first person that offers not thinking of the effect it would have on you.”

“I’m just trying to look out for everyone.”

“No, you’re putting everyone before yourself.” Warren says, “I do love you Y/N, but you need to do something that makes you happy and if that means taking a break for a while to focus on yourself then do it.”

“I don’t know how to do that.” Y/N says.

“Exactly,” Warren says, “You need to learn how.”

***

“Wheels up, two minutes!” Rod yelled to everyone. 

Y/N stood near Eddie as he said goodbye to his mother and grandmother, Y/N offered them both a wave though Eddie’s mother pulled her into a hug. 

“Thank you for having me, Mrs Roundtree.” Y/N says while pulling away from the hug.

Eddie’s mother smiled, “It was my pleasure and please, call me Patricia.”

“Thank you, Patricia.” Y/N says as she stepped back, allowing Eddie to give his family another hug goodbye. 

Y/N stepped up to the plane and collapsed into a seat. Eddie and her hadn’t spoken much all morning, she had tried to talk to him but all he could think about was the show the previous night. 

Warren sat in a seat next to Y/N as he smiled through the window at Lisa as she blew kisses to him. 

“You know that they’re definitely for me, right?” Y/N jokes. 

Warren didn’t reply as he collapsed back in his seat, “I’m gonna marry that woman.”

Y/N nudged him, “Not before I do.” Warren only chuckled before his gaze focusses back on Lisa until she was completely out of sight. 

Turning her head to look at Eddie, Y/N noticed his gaze fixated out the window. She nudged his foot under the table but he didn’t acknowledge it. Sighing Y/N rested her head on her hand, looking down at the table.

“Next stop, Chicago, Illinois.” Rod announced. 

The tension on the plane was thick, you could cut it with a knife. No one spoke, no one interacted. 

…

Y/N L/N: I remember thinking on that flight that something had changed…between everyone. At the time I just didn’t realise how right I was.

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