#should i have abridged the last one to say 'for every day'? yeah probably. did i think of that too late? also probably. wait hang on

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1977

The X-Men, those starjammin' mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 103 - 108) - written by Chris Claremont and art by Dave Cockrum, Bob Brown and John Byrne

The fabled M’Kraan Crystal, a.k.a. Everything’s a butt plug if you’re brave enough. (X-Men 107)

When we last left our X-Men, they were being pummelled into a paste by Black Tom and the Juggernaut at the ancestral Cassidy Keep. Only Nightcrawler was out of their clutches, because he was saved by elves. (All Irish keeps have elves, plz don’t question it.) Apparently, Juggernaut and Black Tom have been holding the inhabitants of the castle hostage under the orders of Eric the Red. Black Tom plans to mindrape the X-Men to lure Charles to Ireland to kill him, which… er… Wouldn’t it be easier to go back to the USA now that Charles is mostly unprotected? Most of the the X-Men are in Oire right now!

Nightcrawler incidentally discovers he turns invisible in the shadows, and it makes total sense that he only realizes this now, because they have no shadows in Germany. Eh, nobody remembers he has this power these days anyway, so! Moving briskly on!

Kurt surprises the gay villainous duo by pretending to be a surprisingly spry Xavier. (Image inducer ftw.) While trying to turn Nightcrawler into a smear of blue fuzz, Juggernaut punches through a wall, exposing Storm to the sky and releasing her from the tight grip of her claustrophobia.

Very few things fill me with more delight than seeing Storm doing loop-de-loops. (X-Men 103)

Storm frees the rest of the X-Men. In the final battle, Banshee tussles with Tom, tossing him off the ramparts and straight into the choppy ocean. Even though tossing a villain into the water is an absolutely sure-fire way to guarantee they'll survive, Juggernaut jumps in after him, desperate to save his boyfriend. Friend. Whatever.

Hilariously, the people at marvel.fandom hate this issue and plotline, saying it’s more riddled with plot holes than Swiss cheese. For example, the elves reveal Wolverine’s real name - Logan - which… “This issue implies that the leprechauns have some prior knowledge of, and even a connection to Wolverine. This plot point, however, was completely dropped and never referenced again (which is probably for the best, considering how goofy it is.)”

I mean, they’re not wrong.

So. Hey. You ready for things to get weird?

Moira has received a VAGUE BUT DISTRESSING call for help from Muir Isle. Off-screen she got upgraded to being an associate at Edinburgh University who owns a lab in Scotland. She left some dude named Jamie Madrox in charge, which - Moira, you have a Phd, you should be able to tell that Madrox is an absolute (entertaining) mess of a person.

Also super surprised that Jamie Madrox was conceived in the seventies, but whatever.

In order to check out the lab, the X-Men rent a hovercraft, which explodes just off the shore of Muir Isle.

Get a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass fuzzy. (X-Men 104)

They are beset on all sides, before being pulled into the laboratory by… MAGNETO?

Magneto accusing anybody other than Dr. Doom or Namor of all-consuming arrogance shows us that self-awareness can’t be taught. (X-Men 104)

Cyclops arrives by airplane, reuniting with the team, while also talking to Moira and Madrox. Absolutely bonkers revelations are made in the space of three pages:

Moira’s lab is a secret Mutant Research Centre. (uh…)

In the Defenders-comic, Magneto was de-aged into a baby. (...what?!)

‘Research Centre’ is a Scottish synonym for a penal colony for all kinds of dangerous mutants, like baby Magneto, Dragonfly, Unus and the mysterious Mutant-X. (...what?!)

Moira quite cavalierly experiments on prisoners and babies. She also has a machine that can manipulate age. Xavier knows and is fine with all of this. (wtf!?!?)

This is such a bonkers, messy way to rewrite both Moira and Magneto. Like, I can’t.

Eric the Red freed Magneto and then used the aging machine to turn Magneto back into an adult man at the peak of his powers. This Magneto is understandably upset at having been turned into a science lab experiment/baby and he mops the floor with the X-Men.

Cyclops makes the executive decision to flee Muir Isle, because they have no chance against Magneto and he now realizes Professor X is unprotected and probably at the mercy of Eric the Red. Wolverine calls him a big fat sissy to his face.

I kind of dig that the X-Men don't win a lot of their fights yet. They’re still treated as relatively unseasoned, especially as a team, and they don’t automatically win at the end of every story. It also gives Magneto more oomph as a villain.

Anyway, when the X-Men arrive at the mansion, they’re defeated by Firelord, Galactus’ former herald. He’s been duped into attacking them by Eric the Red. Firelord is convinced the X-Men are the villains, because Eric went with the Wounded Gazelle Gambit: he even knocked out Havok and Polaris to pretend he was attacked by our merry mutants. (Next time we see them, they’re back to their normal, non-brainwashed selves.)

In her new apartment, Jean is introducing her parents and Professor X to her new girlfriend roommate Misty Knight when princess Neramani (of, uh, space) teleports into the room. And then Firelord attacks Charles! Jean has absolutely zero chill for all of this.

I know very little about Misty Knight, but every time she appears, she responds to anything remotely surprising by drawing her gun. I assume she shoots her paper boy every morning. (X-Men 105)

The entire point of this issue is to show how big a threat Phoenix is. Claremont originally wanted to use a big name like Thor or the Silver Surfer, but editorial nixed that: they feared that it would be emasculating for a popular character to be beaten by a girl. Once again, this proves how badly the Phoenix storyline was needed. Did Jean single-handedly introduce feminism to superhero comics? I’mma say yes.

With Jean distracted and Charles teaching Lilandra English telepathically so he can woo the pretty space-lady and/or get an explanation as to why the universe is ending, Eric the Red strikes, revealing himself to be: SHAKARI.

Yeah, no, I don’t recognize the name either, but the dude’s been working on this reveal for a while, so just let him have it.

He absconds with Lilandra through the Stargate and switches it off, just as the X-Men arrive. Jean casually turns it back on and because the Professor is all, “we’ve got to save her! I mean the universe!”, the X-Men jump through the gate.

Jean’s parents are all out of wtfs to give.

We take a break from Shi´Ar shenanigans with an inconsequential filler issue, where we flashback to Xavier while he was being driven crazy by his Space Trek dreams. It’s established that Moira and Xavier are ex-lovers and that Xavier’s melodramatic subconscious wants to kill the new X-Men. (Probably not for real, but who knows.) Next!

Still a better villain than Onslaught. (X-Men 106)

Anyway, the X-Men find themselves surrounded by aliens in front of the ginormous M’Kraan Crystal. The Shi’Ar are all: ‘dafuq you’re doing here’, Cyclops is all: ‘We’re here for Lilandra’, and the Shi’Ar are all: ‘You mean our prisoner and rogue princess?’ Scott decides that gathering more information is for losers and starts blasting, triggering a fight with the Imperial Guard.

Lilandra, meanwhile, is in the hands of Shakari and her big brother, Emperor D’Ken. He releases some nebulously defined monster - a Soul Drinker - to kill Lilandra. Nightcrawler saves her from its murderous clutches by teleporting two people for the very first time. Lilandra doesn’t barf up her insides, which is apparently a test of character, and proceeds to explain what’s what.

First, she tells the X-Men that she felt Professor Xavier when he was doing the telepathic care bear attack against the Z’Nox way back in the sixties and that she felt instantly drawn to him. She also explains that she’s D’Ken’s younger sister and leading a rebellion against her mad, power hungry brother. Why is he mad? Well...

The X-Men vs. Astrology! Riveting. (Still a better villain than Onslaught.) Although, “I’m a Pisces” sounds a lot lamer than “I was born under the Nine Death Stars. (X-Men 107)

The guy in the mohawk is Gladiator, he is consistently the worst. Even when Lilandra reveals that opening that gate triggers the End of All That Is, he’s still all: “Juuust following orders.”

The Imperial Guard goes in for a smackdown, but the X-Men are fortunately saved by the Starjammers. (Space pirates, not an 80’s rock group.) They are:

Corsair, a debonair dude with one golden earring. Pretty obviously a human.

Raza, cyborg with a temper and somehow bald whilst rocking a ponytail.

Ch’od, lizard creature. Has a white fluffy spider monkey-thing that I don’t recognize and but is apparently called Waldo Ch'ee. (I pray it just got lost in Marvel history and that it doesn’t get squashed at some point. It’s adorable.)

Hepzibah, cute cat girl with a gun. Involved with Corsair, except he can’t pronounce her name so he just gave her the completely unrelated nickname Hepzibah? Dude!

Jean, having learned psychic etiquette from Charles Xavier, immediately violates their privacy and scans their minds, figuring out that Corsair is Scott’s dad. Superficial telepathic read, my ass.

Meanwhile, power builds up in the M’Kraan Crystal and the universe briefly blinks out of existence, threatening to tear open the fabric of the universe if this keeps up. To emphasize that this is a Big Honking Deal, we cut to Earth where the Avengers, Fantastic Four and Peter Corbeau (rumored to have an IQ over 200) are all: oy, did the universe just stop existing?

That’s Hank McCoy for “we’re fucked’”. Hi Jimmy Carter! (X-Men 108)

Apparently, this is the year the X-Men can’t catch a break, because after being beaten by the Juggernaut, Magneto and the Imperial Guard, they are soundly trashed by Jahf, the Guardian of the Crystal. That is, until Phoenix drops a small meteor on him. In a story beat that I really like, Jahf isn’t fazed at all: the Phoenix, despite her immeasurable power, isn’t omnipotent. Sometimes, you need a scalpel instead of a sledge hammer: it’s Banshee whose sonic scream can scramble the guardian’s circuitry.

Unfortunately, defeating the first guardian only awakens a second, stronger one, so…

Raza decides he’s had enough of this nonsense and, displaying admirable proactive problem solving skills, simply tosses D’Ken into the M’Kraan crystal. Presumably, the Crystal is annoyed at being attacked by someone who also has an unnecessary apostrophe in their name, and it lashes out, trapping everyone involved in their own personal hell. For Jean, this is apparently death, but she’s all: “Um, I was recently deceased, no big deal,” and snaps out of it.

The Phoenix reaches out the crystal, which is slowly cracking under the weight of the universe. (Same.) If it shatters, it will destroy the universe, devouring all . Think of it as a cosmic reset button. The Phoenix is its opposite, a bringer of energy and life, so it might be able to fix the crystal. Problem is, Jean has trouble remaining anchored in this reality, because she’s being absorbed by the crystal.

OKAY. SO MANY THINGS TO LOVE. Even when allied with a cosmic force, Storm proves she’s our queen. Furthermore, other than Jean/Scott, Ororo/Jean might the most fleshed out relationship among these new X-Men at this point. Their friendship is consistently a highlight.

Also, rough, rough day for Corsair. (X-Men 108)

Phoenix mends the crystal with a lot of mystical space mumbo jumbo and… er, that’s it. Cosmic balance restored, she poofs the X-Men home.

Lilandra tags along with them, explaining that D’Ken’s tinkering with the Crystal left him catatonic and unfit to rule. As his sister, she’s the rightful heir, but since she also led a rebellion, she kind of cancelled by her empire. She announces she will stay on Earth with Charles while the Shi´Ar iron out the details of the succession. So, instead of consolidating her power base and claim to the throne, she peaces out to explore her feelings for the hairless pink alien who can peek into her brain. Solid.

And with that final bit of space opera, we say goodbye to Dave Cockrum and welcome artist John Byrne. The Claremont/Byrne-run is widely seen as the definitive X-Men run, so hold onto your butts and let’s see where the Phoenix takes us, shall we?

Didn’t you take Art History? I stand by my space mumbo jumbo comment from earlier, but check out these Byrne-pages:

Chef’s kiss. (X-Men 108)

Ugliest Costume: I have a fierce hatred for the Shi'ar's weird wispy triangular hair/feather/thingies, but those are technically not costumes. So: Lilandra, why is your boob window a bug?

Best new character: I’m not much of a fan of space operas or the Shi’Ar and their extended court, but I do have a soft spot for the Starjammers, Hepzibah in particular. I fondly remember her being a part of the X-Men at some point in the future, although I don't think her actual unpronounceable name ever gets revealed.

Most audacious retcon: Moira the housekeeper is actually an evil morally complicated mad scientist.

What to read: Issue 105, 107 and 108, for all your Phoenix Saga needs.

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 3: Apdnarg is Really Hard to Spell

 Yo guys, people are getting vaccinated, the sun is parting through the clouds, and I felt so nice that I even stopped listening to quite so many throwback 00′s BTS mashups (and yet I keep clicking on these dissonant catastrophes thinking “this time it’s got to be better. This time they’ll figure it out.” and like, no. Turns out you can’t match Brittany’s Toxic with BTS’ Black Swan. You can’t do that.)

This must be a sign that things are getting better. If anything, it means my personal tastes are improving. I mean I only clicked on like 3 “Dark Academia” Playlists where I could pretend I’m some sort of spooky witch in an abandoned library with a bad music player and basic taste in classical music (like can we ban Satie from Youtube for a little while?). Hell, I might even do a prompt update to this blog!

Yeah, you heard me, I’m actually going to stay ahead of the update schedule for Yugioh Abridged (maybe. I haven’t actually watched cuz of spoilers, I just noticed the thumbnail pop up on Youtube and was like “Damn it, they came out of hiatus??? I got hurry UP.”)

Anyway, speaking of the sky parting.

I’ll have you know my bro said this is actually more like a circumcision and it was one of the worst thing I have ever heard.

We get a chance to take in this lineup of confusing and varied character designs, and Joey. who is...still Joey.

The animators probably had to hold a strike in order for them to put Yugi in the audience, lets be real. There are TOO MANY PEOPLE in this shot and one is wearing a turban where you draw every single wrap. I hope those artists charged by the line.

Tea has a subplot where she’s just very frustrated with everyone she knows. They have been traveling together for like many weeks and got trapped in a foreign country so I get it. But at the same time, it’s kind of hard to picture Tea with female friends.

Because right now you got this 12 year old child, the other duelist who does not care about anything besides cards, and Kaiba’s 3 dragon cards that we’ve all collectively decided are female.

Hell it’s almost like the writers are asking themselves why Tea is here. Maybe they forgot. There’s no more ghosts to bus, no more people to knock out with her ass with random Olympic feats. Tea’s just sidelining.

(read more under the cut)

Mokuba is a itty bit bit taller this season, and so I guess that means he can legally climb on top of the cherry picker in order to give a riveting speech.

Really says a lot about Mokuba that he is so unphased about talking to, I dunno...an entire planet of people. Kind of a shame we never see this courage from Mokuba used for anything other than talking really, really big and giving everyone around him a really hard time.

Mokuba takes a moment to dunk on Yugi Muto, as is Kaiba tradition.

And then introduce the first pair of duelists, which obviously must be between the few people in this tournament that we actually know and care about.

Thankfully, in between last episode and this episode, Yugi has figured out who his own Grandpa is. This is a relief, because Yugi is such a mess, that I was fully convinced it would take over half a season for him to recognize it. I mean how long did it take him to figure out he shares a body with a ghost? Like half a season?

Instead Yugi recovered gracefully from not recognizing his grandpa, but it’s not like he bothered to tell anyone else, so the rest of our cast is just gonna be like “Is he my hairdresser? The guy who delivers my mail? Who is this guy who made absolutely no significant changes to his outfit or voice?”

Like sometimes this show goes full Spongebob silly kid’s show and you never know when to take it seriously or not. They might be sacrificing the entire cast next episode. I really don’t know. But for now their big concern is who is grandpa??? Like an innocent card version of “Are you my Mother?”

Faced with public speaking, Yugi decides to have a melt down.

We have seen him face monsters, we’ve seen him on TV dozens of times, he’s been in multiple competitions...but give a speech? Of course he can’t do that. The kid doesn’t attend enough school to know how to do that. Them’s learning skills.

And that was when a newly assembled wife-jet spliced through the sky like a souped up razer scooter and deposited 1 fully equipped Seto Kaiba in a Buzz Lightyear jetsuit.

THE RECOVERY.

Seto always watching over his Brother, ready to save this awkward party if it kills him (and it really should, that suit is held together by two seat-belts), making sure to get on that platform before Yugi starts going off about how he’s half an Ancient Egyptian. (Ah, life before social media. You could just be hella famous and also half a dead dude and people would just not know. I kinda miss the time before I knew literally everything about everyone.)

Please admire how close those flames are to setting Mokuba’s heavily hairsprayed mane completely alight. It would be an unforgettable spectacle.

These were absolutely just random ass jet packs that Gozaburo Kaiba made to kill hell tons of people, right? Like Seto found it in the family cabin, clutched to the heart of some crispy fried corpse and was like “neat! Mokuba! I found a cool toy!” and just plucked that thing out of that skeleton’s clutches and has been flying around for months?

Like this is Seto Kaiba’s Butter Glider, right?

Seriously what type of vehicle license do you need for one of these things? RIP My ‘Seto only has a scooter license’ headcanon.

Which I’m only even thinking about because I’ve had to try and make an appt with the DMV for days to get a freakin REAL ID. I went to sleep in 2019 and I could fly on a plane. I woke up in 2021 and it’s like “Want one last screw you?” and just...can 2020 please stop screwing me over? It’s March.

Anyway, the Jet is removed soon after, so no, this is not part of his new outfit. He goes right back to his Post-S4-Trauma-Normcore.

After wrestling this competition out of his brother’s hands and confusing everyone in the audience, Roland must have gotten the memo to cut the microphone before Seto got too excited and we were quickly ushered on to the next stage of the tournament.

One sec...the BTS Mashup playlist I just clicked on did a Black Swan X 7 rings mashup and it’s the worst thing my ears have ever heard.

Holy crap. I had to actually turn down my volume. Like...Ariana Grande already has music that has way too many overlapping singing parts on it--and then lets just stick a 52-person boy band on top? That’ll fix it. Yeah. Go ahead.

Wow. Even I had to change the song and you know how much I enjoy pop culture mistakes.

Spot the Mickey but like a million times easier because it’s a Massive Dick Shaped Dragon.

Yep. That’s my grocery shopping outfit. Except maybe not a lab coat and a duel disk. Wish I had a duel disk, that would make social distancing just a hell ton earlier. Just a “Yo, only one person in checkout, please” and then bap them on the head with a propelled discuss/hologram.

Anyway, Grocery shopping/Doctor man dueled the Purple Hair Boy, and considering that Purple Hair got screen time and shook Yugi’s hand once--I think that Doctor man doesn’t stand a freakin chance.

Good. I hate him.

Also, every time he breathes he’s gonna fog up his glasses. I have experience in this area. He can’t read his own cards in the same way I can’t read my phone if I’m in the refrigerated aisle.

So the way this tournament works, is everyone has to sit in the stadium to watch the show. Kinda like showing up to a football stadium just to watch a recorded TV monitor...but then again...that is how it feels to watch a football game at a football stadium when it’s live (at least with the tickets I usually get.)

And as we watch Grandpa waiting for his competitor, we find out that his competitor (Joey) is too busy eating snacks to give him the time of day.

Why do cartoon hot dogs always have lettuce? Is that seriously supposed to be relish? Or is there a place in the world where you put lettuce on your hot dog?

Sorry, bro has just informed of his favorite hot dog order, which is absolutely terrible so I will share it with you: a Five Guys hot dog with ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, onions, mushrooms, pickled peppers, and you guessed it--topped with freakin lettuce.

My own kin. How am I over 30 and just finding out that my baby brother thinks it’s normal to walk into a restaurant with normal god-fearing law-abiding people and order lettuce and mushrooms on a hot dog?

I have fully failed him.

The rest of this episode is watching both Joey Wheeler and Mokuba have a shared panic attack while Seto does freakin nothing.

Please remember that Seto has both a jetpack and a dragon wife plane and could have easily solved this problem. But nah.

Then again, Seto Kaiba has given this crew so MANY rides, that maybe he’s tired of being the Soccer Mom for the team?

Like they don’t actually say this episode, but Seto was the one in charge of like...this entire place, do you think he made the 2 for 1 special just to get Joey where it hurts the most? Or does it actually not take any subterfuge to screw Joey Wheeler because he’s just naturally this way?

Like Mokuba wasn’t there when Joey was told “stay right here, and then we will all go together to fight Dartz” and Joey was like “I’mma save Mai from herself although she told me not to!” and then he Hella Died. But, Mokuba did see the result, AKA, Joey’s dead body being carried on the back of Tristan. Maybe Mokuba never realized that Joey died because he went out of his way to be late?

Lets do a tally of every time I can recall with my dodgy memory that Joey was threatened to be DQ’d/pretty much was DQ’d either by his own fault or no fault of his own

-When he wasn’t allowed to go on the boat to Murder Island because he was a stupid nobody kid who did not have a dueling glove

-When he wasn’t actually supposed to be in Pegasus’ tourney and was, in fact, secretly using half of Yugi’s entrance ticket the entire time

-when Bandit Keith stole the ticket that Joey got from Yugi so then Joey had to borrow Mai’s ticket although she had just used it so it really shouldn't have counted. Because, really anyone could have just piggy backed off of each other’s ticket until the whole boat went through that castle.

-When his account was hacked to get entered into Kaiba’s tourney when Kaiba very clearly told him he could not apply solely because he was Joey Wheeler.

-When he was late to his sister’s eye surgery because he got mugged by Marik’s Rare Hunters, so she almost refused to do the surgery.

-When Joey got possessed by Marik, and as Marik, threatened to murder everyone else in the tournament including both of the Kaiba brother’s who’s tournament it was, and then chained himself to Yugi Muto to throw both of them to the bottom of the ocean.

-I think there was a point when he threatened to attack Kaiba in Kaiba’s own tourney while not possessed? Like several times?

-when he got struck by Lightning and almost did not stand up fast enough after being struck by lightning, which is apparently a type of DQ in Duel Monsters.

-When he tried to save Mai from getting hit by a fireball, but then Yugi did it instead, and then so many people were standing on the dueling platform that Kaiba couldn’t possibly DQ them all.

-When he entered the restricted area of the blimp in order to hassle Kaiba into landing the Blimp, which Kaiba did not do.

-When Marik killed Joey before Joey could press the “go” button on his duel disk to play the card that should have won Joey the match.

-When he was dueling a lawyer in a digital universe but then the dice was like...weighted? So Noah had to walk over and be like “The hell is this weighted dice? This is my perfect digital world? How did you even do that?” and then Joey won because the match was no longer legit.

-When Joey yelled at Noah too much and so Noah turned Joey to stone for being a rude ass spectator

-When Mai was like “Wheeler and Valon, listen closely: do NOT murder each other” and then Joey did a murder on Valon so she was like “I guess I have no choice, I was very clear” and killed Joey straight up.

-When Joey decided to block Seto’s fireballs while Joey Wheeler WAS a playing card, somehow disrespecting both Dartz and Seto Kaiba at the same time.

-When Joey was playing cards but then got absorbed into a giant Leviathan and basically couldn’t play anymore after that.

-There’s probably hell ton of S0 stuff I just haven’t seen yet.

-This episode

And Joey runs fast for a montage of wacky things that really have no business being in a theme park. Things like this:

(remember when Bakura almost died from a rock that ended up being a balloon? It comes full circle.)

The stuff that the Kaiba brother’s think is normal and fun.

Anyway Joey fights off a bunch of hologram snakes and bats and everyone is like “Should we tell him it’s just holograms???” And it’s like wow, guys, how many times have these ‘holograms’ straight up murdered Joey Wheeler and everyone else on this cast? Too many? Because I have a google doc with so many deaths on it. 7,805,844,048, to be exact.

Anyway, he gets there with five seconds to spare and Mokuba’s like “well at least you were still entertaining while we filmed you in front of a live audience being a total spaz for 15 minutes straight, so I’ll let you go.”

Grandpa and Joey start playing, Joey completely oblivious that this is just an older Muto, while Hawkins walks up awkwardly and is like “hey guys. I’m so sorry about this.”

(welcome to my font choices, for those new here, I have to make weird font color choices to make sure it’s legible for the colorblind and also for the non-colorblind. This one is not much contrast, so I may change it up in the future, but for now, this is Grandpa Muto’s new font. I apologize to every graphic designer reading this. Please don’t tell anyone who has ever hired me for graphic design about this blog.)

What’s funny about this exchange is that after they find out that Yugi’s Grandpa is Apdnarg (HOLY my brain cannot get around the spelling for that, and I will not change it in the caps. I cannot do a ‘pdn’ ever again), they don’t stand on his side of the field or anything. Hawkins is legit Solomon Muto’s only fan during this exchange and like...damn. Way not to back your Grandpa, Yugi.

Yugi immediately strides up to Mokuba to non-confrontation-ally inform him that he has stepped over a line and Mokuba is like “what are these things you say called ‘lines?’”

According to Mokuba, Solomon Muto begged him to be in the competition so he could relive his glory days (glory days making no sense here, because the game has only been released for the past 15 years, so glory days is like...the before times that can only be referring to disgraced archeologists and Pegasus ((who is, in his own way...a disgraced archeologist, too))) and Mokuba was like

“You trained Yugi Muto, right? Hey that’s good enough for me. This drama is gold. People will eat it up. Hell yes. Don’t be afraid to abduct him a little bit. Maybe trap a couple people in a digital hellscape for a little while? Now we go by Pegasus house rules here, so fire as many lasers as you want, but just make sure not to hit anyone in the face. Oh man, we are going to be swimming in cash. Love it, Muto Sr, love it.”

But I dunno, I feel like Grandpa won’t make it past next episode. It is Joey. We kinda need him to make it past Ep 4 of the arc. If Grandpa Muto becomes the new Joey Wheeler, that will be a weird transition for this show to make.

But that’s all for today, as always, here is the link to read these in chrono order becuase there’s SO MANY that you don’t need to read backwards--don’t do it--just use the chrono tag (and I don’t know if you can add compound tags, but I did separate the Season from the Episode, so if you write S4, it should only pop up stuff from S4. I didn't’ do that to seasons 1-3 though because I just...didn’t.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

And because I brought it up: here it is, the best BTS Mashup that I found on my deep dive. Like legit--this one isn’t a mess:

Most of other ones are horrible in a fascinating way. Like I’m not even a BTS fan, I think I sort of age out of that metric, I’m just bored and quarantined. And lets be real, we all appreciate a good bop when we hear it.

[bluegarners]

⭐⭐⭐⭐ for your fanfic author ask 🥺 I'd love to hear about whatever you wish to talk about

ahhh, hi mango!! thank you so much for playing! 🧡🧡

haha okay, so I’m taking this as a means to let myself ramble a bit about my on-going project right now: a storge for you.  If you’ve read it on ao3, then you might notice that I take great influence from the music I listen to while I write. I’ve actually created a playlist to listen to while I try to figure out each of the characters and I’ve dubbed it “boom” because that’s what that entire story is right now: just mass destruction and lots of sadness, you know? 

Either way, there’s this scene is chapter one that I had already written and I found a song that really fit the vibe I was going for in my head. The scene in question (abridged): 

“I was told a couple months ago. I’m sure one of you has already stolen the files, but I’ll put it bluntly and just say that there was nothing to be done. It was extremely aggressive and overwhelming . Please, god, please believe me when I say that I looked into every possible treatment, compromise, cure, antidote. You name it, I promise I looked into it. Looked for it. There just… The world just doesn’t have it. It just didn’t have a reasonable answer.”

“It’s not painful,” he comforts, rubbing his neck in that awkward way that just tells everyone he’s lying about something. “Or, it wasn’t painful, depending on when you see this. I wouldn’t have even known it was there had it not been for the check-up. I debated about this for a long time, that is, about telling you all. Not a great way to break the news, is it?”

Dick laughs slightly, like this is all some joke to him. Like he wasn’t talking about his demise. Like he wasn’t talking about how he was going to die in a week. Like he wasn’t already speaking from the mouth of a dead man.

“This is really shitty of me. I know it is. I’m probably going to cause you all more pain, but you guys know I’m selfish. I am a terribly selfish person and I just wanted…. Wanted these days I have to spend with you guys to be normal. To just be what they are. I didn’t want these precious moments to be of you guys sad or angry or for your memories of me to be any different than what I’ve always been.

The song that ended up popping up in my feed was “Happiest Year” by Jaymes Young. That song was uber popular in the beginning of quarantine, I remember crying to all the tiktoks about people with their animals and family members that used this song, and after I had published chapter one I was like woah dude this fits really nicely, these are literally Dick’s exact thoughts. More of the correlations between this song and my story coincide during chapters three and four as well, with Dick interacting and more or less freaking out his family members. Like these scenes for instance:

“Uh, yeah, I’m here,” he says, shaking himself out of his temporary paralysis. They haven’t spoken since that night, and ever since, Duke has been actively avoiding thinking about their last conversation. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to apologize for what happened. I was more or less out of it when you came over, and I know some of the things I said weren’t exactly… coherent.”

And Duke has to remind himself that Dick did have a concussion, bad enough to the point where he had to go puke in the bathroom a few hours later, but the discomfort still comes back.

“I want to make it up to you,” Dick continues, as if moving on from that entire incident was the easiest thing to do. “I also owe you two pizzas. Are you free around 7? I’d love to take you to that new pizza joint that opened near-”

and 

There is stunned quiet for a few moments before Steph snorts loudly. “I’m kidding, Wing. God, if I were a drug lord, you wouldn’t see me mooching off the only billionaire I know. I’d be my own billionaire, but I’d still probably crash here.”

“Steph, your mind truly amazes me sometimes.”

“A genius, I know. You don’t have to point out the obvious. So, what do you think of that dress? I think the V-line is a bit much.”

“I don’t know, I kind of like it. Accentuates her figure nicely.”

“Right, I forgot the disco era. Sometimes I feel really fortunate I wasn’t around to see that in person.”

“You should feel unfortunate. My sense of fashion is impeccable.”

“Sure. Just like your sense of taste for mint-chocolate ice cream.”

“I’ll have you know that mint-chocolate is one of the-”

You know? Just Dick trying his best to not worry his siblings but not doing a fantastic job of it but also trying to maintain big brother occupations and such. All these memories during his last year with them all are him just trying to tie up loose ends, not rouse suspicion, and in general just spend as much time as possible with them as he can. There’s going to be a future chapter (spoilers for things I haven’t published yet lol) where Dick’s thoughts are actually said aloud and not just inferred from those around him, and I can tell you for sure that I will be leaning heavily on that song to really project my inner martyr Dick thoughts. 

That “boom” playlist I made is honestly comprised of songs for chapters I have yet to write, but for anyone who actually reads a storge for you, you can listen to “lovely” by Billie Eilish for spoilers you won’t understand but can probably guess some things 

[fireblaze5555]

Fire Away: Chapter 12 (end)

Chapter 12: I’ll Cry to My Grave...Fire Away

Also on A03: Fire Away: Chapter 12

Frank came awake in a panic, his eyes snapping open but he managed to keep his body still. He was still tucked closely to Karen’s back, her hand clutching his to her chest while she snored just the tiniest bit. Neither of them had moved through the night which was a good indication of how exhausted they were. Slowly, Frank let his muscles relax, the dream he had been in fading to the background. He allowed himself a few more minutes before flexing his fingers slowly to release them from her grip and moved gingerly off the cot. Frank froze with one foot on the floor when he heard a quiet protesting noise from Karen, her eyes didn’t open but she tried to grasp at the empty space behind her before he shoulder protested the movement.

“Hey,” he moved quickly to the side of the cot, grabbing her hand and tucking it back up to her chest, stroking a thumb across her knuckles as he did, “I just need to make a couple calls, you can go back to sleep.”

A tired blue eye cracked and looked at him blearily before another sound of protest escaped her. His lips tilted up in a smile, god she was adorable when she wasn’t being reckless and stubborn. Looking over his shoulder at the closest clock he turned back to her.

“It’s 5:30am.”

The next sound she made was one of disgust as she firmly closed her eyes and nestled back into the covers. He laid a tender kiss to her temple and stood, quiet snores resuming before he had made it to the other end of the room.

Picking up his phone, Frank dialed from memory.

“ G’morning sleeping beauty.” David’s exhausted voice was quiet on the other end of the line.

“Get some rest David. I’m up for the day and can take it from here.” There was an affirming grunt from the other end of the line and rustling like the call was about to disconnect but Frank spoke up before he realized what he was doing.

“David?” There was a pause on the other end of the line and he wondered if maybe the other man had already hung up but then there was a loud yawn in his ear. Shaking his head, Frank glanced over his shoulder to where Karen was sleeping peacefully and then turned back to the security monitors he stood in front of.

“Hey, uh..” He was never good at this stuff. “Thank you. I know I’ve been an asshole but I know how hard you worked to help me find and protect her and I….just...thanks.” He finished lamely.

There was thoughtful silence on the other end of the line and just when Frank was certain that David wasn’t going to say anything, he spoke up.

“ You’re welcome. You can make it up to me by coming around more….and bringing her with you, yeah?”

He shouldn’t be surprised at the request but it still blindsides him just a bit, “Uh, yeah. I’ll try.” That didn’t seem like enough. “Yeah, we’ll be in touch.”

“ See that you are or I’ll find you. ” Then the line goes dead.

It was said in such a way that Frank wasn’t entirely sure if it was a joke or a threat. Probably a mix of both.

The next call was to Curtis. Frank was confident in his stitching skills on himself because he didn’t care about another scar or if it healed perfectly but he wanted to make sure Karen’s injury would heal as best as it possibly could. That would require a professional so he gave his friend the abridged version of the previous night and set a time to meet later that afternoon to look her over.

The final call was to Rikers penitentiary.

Frank grabbed one of the many burner phones he possessed, setting his more permanent phone to the side and moved further into the abandoned warehouse, away from Karen. He dialed and waited, requested Wilson Fisk when prompted. His trigger finger tapped against the phone as he paced the dim and dusty room, hoping he wouldn’t have to have David patch him though some other way. But just as he suspected, Fisk had control of the place and didn’t have to go through the usual channels to receive calls. The phone service was his to control so the call went through without the usual vetting.

“ Yes? ” Frank recognized the voice immediately just in that single syllable. The arrogance filling the word set his teeth on edge.

“You should have left her alone.” His own voice was low, the remnants of rage making the words burn.

“ Mr. Castle. I am surprised you reached out so soon. My wife informed me of your visit to her last night with Ms. Page. Something I have to admit, I am none too pleased about.” A simmering anger laced the words. “ I’ll admit, I did not anticipate you having an association with Miss Page.”

“That right? You don’t like some dangerous asshole around someone you care about? Not as fun when the tables are turned, huh?” Frank’s voice was harsh and taunting.

“ Karen Page took someone I care about from me. She’s a murderer, Mr. Castle. Isn’t it your job to kill criminals, not protect them?”

Frank’s vision went red quickly but he took a couple of deep breaths through his nose until his focus was back. When he could trust himself to speak again without shouting, his voice was deadly calm, deep and intense with promise. “You don’t say her fucking name. Ever again. You’re really gonna sit there and call her a murderer like you’ve never killed anyone? All high and mighty in your gilded cage. Karen killed that shitbag friend of yours because he didn’t give her a choice. If he were still alive, I would kill him for fun. Drag it out for every hour of pain and torment you have put her through.”

He paused for a moment, measuring his next words. He was more than just the Punisher at this moment, more than Frank Castle. He was a man who had lost everything, including himself. Now though, he had a beautiful unstoppable woman putting his pieces back together. He wasn’t the same man as before but he was slowly starting to see glimpses of him in this new man he was becoming.

“You’ll leave Karen Page alone. That includes her friends. If she loses another minute of sleep because of you, I will make you suffer. You so much as breathe her name and I’ll know. Keep in mind that I’ve found your wife before, I can do it again.” There is a choking noise on the other end of the line, a sure sign that Frank had hit the nerve he was aiming for.

Frank wouldn’t kill Vanessa, as far he knew she hadn’t committed any major crimes. Though if she crossed that line or threatened Karen again, he wouldn’t have a choice because he won’t tolerate any more threats to Karen from a Fisk.

“ What exactly is your involvement with Ms. Page?” Fisk’s voice was filled with barely contained rage.

“That is none of your fucking business. All you need to know is that if she gets hurt and I even suspect it has anything to do with you, I will destroy everything you love. I can show you what it is like to truly lose everything. Are we clear?” There was finality in his tone.

A shuddering breath came through the line before Fisk spoke, “ Yes, we are clear, Mr. Castle. I’m sure we will be seeing each other, once I’m free again.”

“I look fuckin’ forward to it.” He disconnects the line and proceeds to shatter the phone on the ground.

Frank flexed his hands and continued to take deep breaths. Every fiber of his being was screaming to end Fisk, remove the threat completely. If he was still breathing, he was still a danger to Karen. The other man being in prison really did make things more difficult though. Besides, he and Karen had already hashed out that particular issue. Though, if it ended the way it did last time, he may be willing to have the discussion again.

There would be a day of reckoning. It was only a matter of time before Wilson Fisk was released from prison because of some bullshit loophole or another. Then he could finally put that piece of shit in the ground for good.

As much as he didn’t like it, he would leave Fisk alone. For now.

-----

Karen woke to a twinge in her shoulder and the smell of fresh coffee. She sat up with a quiet groan and peered around the small living space, eyes settling on Frank at the small card table that served as a place to eat and plan. His eyes came up from the paper he was reading to settle on her, skimming down her body before stilling at her shoulder.

“‘Morning, Ma’am. It’s 0700, we are going to make a morning person out of you yet.” His voice was raspy and deep and it sent a shiver down her spine. It didn’t help that he also was just in a pair of dark pants, shirt slung over his shoulder, damp from his workout and the resulting shower, no doubt. It wasn’t fair to be that sexy first thing in the morning. Frank stood from the table, striding over to where she sat, disheveled and trying not to be visibly turned on.

“How’s your shoulder feeling?” Before she could answer, he was pulling back the gauze to inspect the wound for signs of infection.

Karen grunted, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and yawning. “It feels okay, a little twingy but not killing me.”

He gave a grunt of his own, putting the bandage back in place. “On the way back to your apartment we are going to swing by Curt’s place so he can look it over and make sure I didn’t screw it up.”

She gave him an incredulous look, standing to follow him when he turned back to the table. “Well that’s really encouraging Frank, I wasn’t concerned before but I am a little now.” She gave him a teasing smile as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “Who’s Curt?”

For a second he looked startled, like he was surprised she didn’t know who Curt was but then shook his head quickly, “Yeah, sorry, I guess you haven’t met him. He’s a marine buddy of mine, we served together. Best medic around and probably one of the best people too.”

“Okay, I look forward to meeting him then. Make sure you didn’t give me a lame arm or something.” She gave another teasing smile before settling in next to him and sipping her coffee.

After a small breakfast of eggs and toast, easy conversation filling the calm silence, they made little fanfare of packing up the safehouse and loading into the van. Karen tried not to let anxiety creep into her mind at the thought of things going back to normal. With most things, she was looking forward to it but she worried that once she was back to her life and Frank was back to his, this tentative thing they were doing would vanish. She couldn’t let that happen.

Rather than dwell on that particular brand of panic, Karen mused on how it felt to not be on the run for the first time in nearly a month. She felt lighter, like she could draw in a full breath again. Though, she still didn’t entirely trust that there wouldn’t be someone waiting around the next corner for her. Judging by the way Frank was frequently checking the mirrors and eyeing any remotely suspicious vehicles, he didn’t entirely trust the situation either. In the drive across town, no one emerged from the dark corners of the city to threaten her though, so she took it as a good sign.

The burner phone Karen had been using pinged as they eased up to a curb outside of a quaint apartment building somewhere in Brooklyn. She smiled at his lengthy text from Foggy, how relieved he was that this was over, how much he couldn’t wait to have her back in the office and at Josie’s bar, smoking him at pool. His last question though had her covering her mouth with one hand, somewhere between mortified and amused.

“ Also, what the hell did you all do to Matt? He has been in mood today and will not tell me what has him so cranky. He might have deserved whatever it was but if you could apologize or something, for my sake, I would greatly appreciate it!”

Frank caught her movement and leaned slightly to glimpse at the screen, “Nelson get back to ya?”

Karen nodded before snapping the phone closed and raising an eyebrow at him. “According to Foggy, Matt is in a foul mood today. I suppose I am going to owe him an apology.”

Frank scoffed, “Fuck ‘im. I mean, unless you are sorry about what happened last night.” His voice dropped an octave, cocky around the edges but she heard a hint of doubt in there as well.

Well, she really couldn’t be surprised that was his response. With a roll of her eyes, Karen tucked the phone into her bag.

“I’m not sorry about what happened but we probably could have been more considerate of his super-hearing. He already isn’t happy with the fact that we...uh....stayed in contact, I’m sure that was just salt in the wound.”

There wasn’t a response so Karen turned to see Frank with an unreadable look on his face, watching her carefully.

She let a little exasperation bleed into her voice, “If you so much as hint that I’m better off with him, I swear I might have to hurt you. Aren’t you supposed to be introducing me to Curtis or something?”

Without waiting for an answer she swung out of the van and waited for him to follow, coming around the front of the vehicle, wrapping a loose arm around her waist and tugging her in the right direction. He stayed quiet but she saw the tense line in his shoulder relax. One day he was going to understand that Matt had not been a love interest for her for a very long time.

They didn’t say anything as they made their way up the steps, Frank’s hand laying gently on her lower back, Karen trying to ignore the warm feeling the simple action sent coursing through her. She was starting to think she would never get used to Frank’s hands on her.

They came to a stop outside of a door and Frank lifted a hand to knock but hesitated. She watched him for a second and when he didn’t move further, rested a gentle hand on his bicep, concern drawing her brows together.

“Are you okay? Is something wrong?”

Her question shook him out of his reverie and with a shake of his head, Frank finished the motion, wrapping his knuckles lightly on the door.

“I’m fine. It’s just... the thought just occurred to me that you ‘n Curt together could be bad news for me.” He glanced at her, his lips giving a wry twist and before she could ask him what he meant, the door was pulled open.

Karen wasn’t sure what she was expecting to see but the man in front of them with a slow smile and kind eyes was not it. He was dressed in a t-shirt and clean dark jeans and regarded them both easily. Finally his eyes settled back on Frank.

“You know Frank, sometime you’re gonna have to call me just cause you wanna hear my sweet voice and not because you need something patched up.” The words were joking but there was a bit of steel in them as well.

Frank gave a little shake of his head before saying matter of factly, “I don’t have much to talk about Curt, you know that.”

Curtis’ face split into a sudden wide smile.

“Well, maybe you will now.” In an instant he turned that blinding smile to Karen with a quick wink which had her smiling at him in return, a light blush creeping up her neck.

“Ah, Christ. ”

Karen’s smile grew when she heard Frank’s muttered distress. He was right, her and Curtis together probably was going to be trouble for him. She was really looking forward to it.

“You must be Karen Page.” Curtis extended out a large warm hand for her to shake.

She took the proffered hand, smile never leaving her face, “That’s right. I wish I could say I’ve heard a lot about you, Mr. Hoyle.”

They shared a knowing look before he released her hand and ushered them in, “Call me Curt, please. Frank’s told me a lot about you, I mean, in the way Frank does. Lots of denial, muttering how you’re ‘too good’ for him and LOTS of hang dog expressions.”

“Jesus, c’mon Curt.” Frank sounded pained.

Karen tried to hide her smile but only partially succeeded. Curt seemed to take pity on him though, guiding Karen to a seat at his dining room table before pulling Frank into a half hug.

“I’m glad everything went well. This is the best I’ve seen you look in awhile, showing up at my door.” That knowing look came over Curt’s face again as he looked Frank over.

“Well, it’s not me you’re putting back together this time.” Frank gestured to where Karen sat as she gingerly pulled off her jacket in anticipation of her examination. “Took a bullet to her trapezoid, deep graze. Bled a lot but I was able to get stitches in it. Wanted to make sure I didn’t fuck anything up so I thought maybe you could take a look at it.”

Without prompting, Karen tugged down the overly large t-shirt she wore so that it slid over her shoulder and her bandage was visible. Curt watched Frank for a moment, confusion clear on his features and in his voice when he spoke.

“You’ve probably done just as many sutures as I have at this point. You were nearly as good as me back when we were in the corps.”

Frank looked uneasy, the tips of his ears turning pink. “Yeah, well, ‘nearly’ as good isn’t ‘as good’ is it? I just wanted to be sure that she wasn’t gonna scar too bad or lose any mobility because of it.” If Karen knew any better, he almost sounded embarrassed.

Curt continued to stare at Frank in a way that told Karen he could read Frank like a book. For a moment he didn’t say anything, just turned and gave Karen a sweet smile before gently peeling back the bandage and inspecting the damage. He poked a few spots around the wound, asking about her discomfort, had the wound felt hot, what was her pain level now and so on until he finally nodded to himself and dug around in his own medical bag for fresh salve and gauze.

“Looks perfectly fine to me, you did a good job.” He said over his shoulder to Frank and then turned back to Karen, “As long as it stays clean and there is no infection I think you will be as good as new in a few weeks, Miss Page.”

“Just Karen, please. And thank you so much for taking a look at it, the way he was talking I was afraid I might lose my arm at the shoulder or something.” She gave a small laugh as she watched him work at changing her bandages.

Leaning in, Curt began to stage whisper, making sure Frank heard everything he had to say. “That is because our friend back there has a tendency to be a wallowing asshole. So, he thinks because he did the work and it’s on you of all people that it isn’t good enough.” There was a long suffering sigh behind Curt that made him smile at Karen and give her a conspiring wink.

Whispering loudly herself, Karen glanced at Frank as she answered, “I think you and I are going to get along just fine, Curt.”

His smile was blinding as he lifted her shirt back into place. “I think you are right, Karen. Between the two of us, we might actually get him straightened out.”

Frank’s voice jumped in, low and agitated but with no real heat behind the words, “You all know I’m still here, right? You gonna just keep talkin’ shit?”

Washing his hands quickly in the sink, Curt turned and leaned against the counter as he dried his hands with a dishtowel. “Listen, man, you ghost us all the time so we are just bonding a little bit. Besides, it’s nice to meet someone else who can deal with your grumpy ass.”

Karen looked back and forth between them with amusement but there was also a small ache in her chest as she watched the friends talk. It was a glimpse into Frank’s ‘before’ and a realization that she wasn’t the only one missing Frank while he was on his crusade.

Frank looked the slightest bit ashamed, “I didn’t mean to ghost you, just didn’t want you to get mixed up in my bullshit.”

Curt gave a quiet scoff, “Are you gonna stop being a flakey son of a bitch, then?”

Frank shifted from foot to foot, trying not to look uncomfortable and failing, “I’m gonna try.”

Curt shook his head and looked back to Karen, “That doesn’t sound good enough to me, does that sound good enough to you Karen?”

“You know, it really doesn’t.” What sting may have been in her words was negated by the small, warm smile on her lips as she watched Frank. She would never force him into anything but holding him accountable from time to time wouldn’t hurt him either. He saw her look and gave a small smile in return.

“Alright, alright. I think that is about as much as I can take of the two of you together for now. I need to get Karen back to her place so she can get settled back in.” Frank pulled Curt in for another quick hug before helping Karen to her feet and ushering her towards the door. “I really appreciate you looking her over, Curt, I owe ya one.”

Curt watched his friend with amusement as he was very obviously making his way to the door to escape further ribbing from Karen and himself. “You do owe me one. So next time you call me it better not be because someone is bleedin’.”

Frank made a non-committal noise and said over his shoulder, “Anything for you, Curt,” before the door was closing behind him.

Karen bit back a smile the whole way back down to the van, only succumbing to it once they were situated in the vehicle and Frank glanced at her nervously.

“I like Curt. You should give me his number so we can keep in touch.” Her smile turned mischievous.

A huff escaped Frank but he was smiling back, “Christ, I’d never have peace again. Besides, you don’t need me to get his number, you’ll use your P.I. skills and have it before I could get it to you anyway.”

She hummed in agreement but watched his face go serious, concern pinching at the corners of his eyes and his bottom lip disappearing between his teeth. Karen felt her stomach drop. Here it comes. The ‘I’m not good for you, I’m too dangerous’ speech again.

He surprised her though or at least thought better of picking that fight again right now and reached over the console to rest a gentle hand on her thigh. “Are you ready to go back to your apartment? If you don’t feel comfortable going back yet...my apartment isn’t exactly the Ritz but you are welcome to stay there for a bit.” His voice was warm and rough, sending a chill down her spine while simultaneously warming her.

Karen took a moment to think about her response, chewing thoughtfully at her lip and stroking his knuckles with an errant thumb while she thought. On one hand, she was desperate to be somewhere familiar, surrounded by her things, a tangible sense of normalcy. The other hand though, had images of someone waiting for her there, to finish off what was started a month ago.

Then there was the image of Frank’s back, walking away to continue his war once she was home and secure.

“Uh....I think my apartment. I can at least see if anyone has been in there. I’m sure the leftovers in my fridge are looking pretty gross at this point too.” She gave a strained laugh and hoped he didn’t pick up on her anxiety. Of course he did, because they don’t miss things with each other. Frank narrowed his eyes at her briefly before giving her thigh a light squeeze and turning to the front to start the van. In a matter of minutes they were headed in the direction of her apartment and Karen felt herself getting more anxious every block they got closer.

Trying to focus on her breathing, Karen drew in long slow breaths through her nose and then let them out just as slowly. She really didn’t want Frank to see her worry, she especially didn’t want to have to explain that she was more worried about seeing him leave once they got there than she was someone waiting there to kill her.

It felt a bit surreal pulling up to her apartment building. Life, it seemed, had carried on like usual. Mrs. Garcia was watering her windowsill of flowers, Mr. Giertz was probably on his second round of speed walking around the block, he gave Karen a jovial wave as he walked by her. How strange it was to see that nothing had changed when her life had been in such turmoil.

Frank stepped up beside Karen with her things slung over his shoulder and waited for her to make the first move. So, with a steadying breath, she made her way to the front door and up the stairs until she was staring at her apartment with the keys hanging limply in her fingers. She kept telling her fingers to move, slide the key in lock and open the door but they refused to obey her. Stop being so dramatic and open the goddamn door. Karen berated herself but still couldn’t seem to move her hand.

For a moment, Frank waited quietly, watching her carefully before he set her things by the door and tenderly took the keys from her numb fingers. Gently, he nudged her to the side, unlocked the door and then pulled the .45 from his waistband.

“Wait here, I’ll make sure everything is clear.” His voice was soft, as soft as Frank’s voice could be at least, and he moved through the door without a sound.

Seeing him disappear into her apartment snapped Karen out of her stupor, like hell she was going to leave him to fight her battles if there is someone there. She moved her stuff from the hallway to just inside the door and crept down the hallway with her own firearm in hand. However, just as she was rounding the corner, Frank was exiting the bedroom, tucking the gun back into the holster at his waist.

He grunted when he saw Karen at the end of the hallway but cracked a proud smile when he saw her armed.

“I thought I told you to wait.” There was a hint of reprimand but mostly resignation in his voice.

“Yeah, well, since when have I ever really listened?” She teased, smiling when he made an affirming sound in the back of his throat.

Slowly she took her eyes off of him and let them trail around her apartment. Aside from being a bit dusty, everything was just as she left it. Her laptop case was haphazardly thrown against the coffee table, the mug she had used for her morning coffee on that crazy day was still on the counter right by the sink and her phone was right where she left it on the kitchen island, broken sim card and all.

Sighing, Karen kicked off her shoes and padded over to the island, grabbing the phone to turn it in her hands. “I guess I’m going to need to get a new SIM card at some point. This isn’t much good to me if I can’t harass people with phone calls.”

Out of the corner of her eye Karen saw Frank jolt a little bit before he moved into the hallway, bringing the bags back with him. He was digging through the side pockets of one when he started to speak. “I almost forgot, David sent this to the safehouse when we were on the way back. I had mentioned that you broke your SIM card before you left. If I had to guess this is probably encrypted.” Finally he produced a small plastic case and handed it to her over the island before leaning down on his elbows.

Karen’s eyes widened in shock when she took the small case and popped it open to reveal a brand new SIM card that was compatible with her phone. Without much thought she slid it into place and pressed the power button on her phone which, miraculously, still had a little battery left.

She was warmed by the gesture and her voice held a bit of wonder when she said, “That was really thoughtful of him. I really am going to owe him one after everything he has done.”

She made a small distressed noise when a flurry of pings and alert noises exploded from her phone, a month’s worth of texts, emails, phone notifications and updates hitting all at once before the phone promptly ran out of battery and died.

“Well, alright then. To the charger.” Karen stepped into her bedroom, reaching for the charge cord on her nightstand, plugging her phone in and leaving it there. She glanced over the room much like she did her living room and kitchen and just the sight of her bed made her achy and tired. Without much thought, Karen shucked off her coat, dropping it to the floor before laying down on top of her comforter, a pleasured sigh echoing through the room.

“Tired?” Frank’s voice startled her eyes open, which she hadn’t realized she closed. He was leaning against the door jamb with his hands tucked in his pockets while he slowly regarded her.

Karen rather liked the look of him in her bedroom.

“Mhm. I felt pretty awake until I looked at my bed and then suddenly I felt the need for a nap. Care to join me?” She gave him an impish smile.

“I should go through the stuff and see about conquering that beast in your fridge you were so worried about.” He kept his voice low but she could sense the slight anxiety lacing his words. He wasn’t sure if he was welcome here, in Karen’s most personal space.

“It wasn’t really a question, Castle. Are you really going to leave a poor injured girl like myself to nap all alone?” She gave a grand sweeping gesture of the room but stopped with a wince when it tweaked her stitches, giving him a stern look when he huffed a laugh, she didn’t miss the slight relief that softened the corners of his eyes before he spoke.

“No, I don’t suppose I can leave you to your own devices for too long without some catastrophe. Let me just make sure everything is secure, I’ll be back in five.” WIth that, he disappeared from view and she could vaguely hear him moving around her apartment, shuffling things here and there and the sound of a window rattling before he was back, sans combat boots and jacket.

It didn’t take long for Frank to settle in behind her, tossing a throw over the both of them and tucking Karen to his chest. If she thought she had been tired before, tucked against Frank’s warmth, in her own bed, surrounded by his scent, she was utterly exhausted now and she drifted off before she knew it was happening.

When Karen woke later, it was to a clamoring in her kitchen and the smell of Thai food. She was disoriented at first, slowly processing that she was in her bedroom and not a small warehouse or condo in the mountains. Then came the disappointment, feeling the empty space at her back where a warm body had been not too long ago. However, the rumbling growl of her stomach negated that disappointment. Pushing herself up with her good arm, Karen sat up and glanced at the clock, 5 o’clock, she had slept longer than intended. Forcing herself to her feet, she teetered into the kitchen to see Frank distributing various different dishes from the Thai place around the corner onto separate plates. He glanced up when he heard her.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked so I got a few different things, if you’re hungry.” His voice was soft, almost hesitant.

He had  killed dozens of people without batting an eye but he was unsure of whether he should have ordered her food for her and raided her cabinets. The man was an anomaly.

“I’m starving and as long as you didn’t get everything at level five spice, I’ll probably like it.” She said around a yawn before taking a seat in front of one of the plates. Frank set a fork on her plate before reaching for his own and for a moment they ate in silence. It was something she really appreciated about Frank, he didn’t feel the need to fill the silence. It felt surprisingly natural eating dinner with him in her apartment, like they had done it hundred times.

Eventually, after they both got second helpings, Frank spoke up. “So what’s your game plan now that you are back and the situation is dealt with?”

Karen hummed around a mouthful of Pad Thai while she thought. Setting down her fork after she finished that bite, she rested her chin in her palm, leaning on the island.

“I think first thing is going to be going through all of the missed messages on my phone and informing everyone that I am not, in fact, dead. Then, seeing what kind of disarray Matt and Foggy left my desk in. I’ve probably missed a hundred deadlines, meetings and informant sessions, so sorting through all that should be fun. But, I think above all...I’m going to take a really long, really hot bath in my own bathroom.” She finished with an exaggerated sigh.  

The corner of Frank’s mouth quirked up as he finished the last of his plate. Then they were watching each other carefully, both sensing the impending conversation.

“What are your plans, Frank?” She asked, her voice quiet.

His eyes held hers for a moment, indecipherable. She glances down at his hand when his trigger finger begins to tap a rhythm on her counter but she looks back up when he starts to speak.

“I ‘spose I’ll start digging into the next mission. There’s an up and coming drug ring I’ve been watching that needs to be exterminated.” He must have seen the leery expression on her face because he fixed her with a stare. “This is what it would be, being with me, you know? I’m not ready to give up the fight, there’s too much shit in this city I gotta clean up. You gotta know that being together wouldn’t be easy, Karen. The work I do, it would  put you in danger. There would probably be nights where you’re awake, wondering if I’m still alive. I can’t give you everything you deserve…”

Karen had heard enough, she was so sick of this same tired argument, so, standing abruptly she rounded the kitchen island to stand face to face with him and told him as much.

“Are we really going to do this again Frank? I don’t know how many different ways I can tell you that I want you. All of you. The kind parts, the dangerous parts and the infuriating parts.” She was so frustrated, tired of being scared of him disappearing, tired of repeating herself over and over. She was talking faster and faster, her voice more and more agitated. “I am not going to keep doing this with you. I…”

Karen trailed off as she took in his demeanor, hip resting against the island, arms crossed over his chest and while there was no smile on his lips, his eyes crinkled at the corners, telling her he was trying not to let her see he was amused.

Raising an eyebrow at her, Frank asked calmly, voice full of gravel, “Are you finished?”

Her eyebrows drew together and she wanted to continue her tirade but this is usually the part where he fired back at her with more reasons why he was no good, so she was perplexed by his calm. She gave a stiff nod.

Frank nodded in return as he stepped into her space, wrapping strong arms loosely around her waist. “What I was going to say was....I can’t give you everything you deserve...but I’ll give you everything I can. What’s left of me, it belongs to you.” His eyes were sincere, dark brown and bottomless, full of uncertainty she knew he would always carry with him but just as full of promise.

Unbidden, a few tears fell over her lashes and trailed down her cheeks so Karen swiped at them before swatting at his arm lightly. “You think you could have stopped me before I completely unloaded on you and looked like a tool?”

His answer chuckle was deep in his chest and she felt it through her palm where it rested over his heart. “I like to hear you when you are on a roll like that. Like to hear your conviction.” He kissed a slow line from the base of her neck up to her jaw before he gave her a drugging kiss, slow and intentional.

Karen was trying to process still, she had been prepared to hash it out with him again, plead her case one more time but now she didn’t need to. He had agreed to give them a shot, he wasn’t leaving, never to return and she was overwhelmed and not sure what to do with the knowledge. Until his teeth grazed just under her ear and his strong hands slid tantalizingly over her ribs. She knew what she wanted to do.

She wanted to celebrate.

So, pulling away just enough to grab his belt, Karen pulled Frank through her bedroom door and pushed it closed with a decisive click.

---

In the end, they settled into a rhythm. Frank stayed with Karen most nights unless a job he finished was hotter than he thought. Then he would camp out in a safe house until things blew over. He only forgot to call and tell her once, he wouldn't make that mistake again if he could help it. Karen still investigated dangerous situations but would listen when Frank expressed concern. There were times he insisted on accompanying her if she HAD to get the information.

Frank did most of the cooking and Karen was getting really good at determining when something needed stitches and how to administer them. She knew when she could handle the first aid and when to call Curt. They were both learning when to let things lie and when to press. Both had jagged edges but were learning how to put those pieces together and make a full life.

Karen believed that, even before she knew Frank, before tragedy redefined his life, Frank loved passionately with everything he had. That he had always been incredibly protective of the people he loved, if even a touch on the overprotective side. Never letting the kids too far out of his sight, a gentle hand on Maria’s lower back as they crossed a street, making sure he walked closest to the road during walks, investigating any out of the ordinary bumps in the house during the night. But now, after losing everything, Frank was determined to make sure she was safe at all costs. Karen is fiercely independent so it chafes every once in a while when he panics when she doesn’t answer her phone, when he gently maneuvers her through a construction zone or the time he mean mugged a poor kid for wolf whistling at her so hard she was sure the teenager had a heart attack. But the chafing only lasts a second when she remembers how much he has lost, that he still hasn’t forgiven himself for not protecting his family. Her pride can deal if it means he feels secure, doing everything he can to protect her. Frank knows how capable she is, he knows she doesn’t need someone to hail her cab or stand guard while she does a particularly tough interview but he does it anyway. Besides, after so long of only having herself to rely on, it was nice to be cared for so thoroughly.

Frank knew that Karen would never be satisfied with anything less than the truth and came to accept that she would chase that truth wherever it led, much to his horror on many occasions. He caught glimpses, every now and then, of the Karen from before. Her granite exterior would crack from time to time and he would see the wounded woman she hid from the world and it only made him love her more fiercely. She felt love, sadness and anger with her full being, her heart on her sleeve, always. She was devoted and loyal, everything she had she gave him, no questions asked and he would be lying if he said it didn’t terrify him. However, with one look, a small laugh or a gentle caress, Karen would remind him it was worth it. Sure, she was infuriating sometimes, headstrong and reckless. On more than one occasion, Frank felt like he may pull his hair out, going in circles with her always looking for trouble. They’d fight but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the way she pushed back, calling him on his bullshit. He was a naturally combative person, so having a woman who could hold her own against him was a perfect fit. Besides, they always made up in the best of ways, tangled sheets, breathing heavily, little nips and bruises, words of adoration. He really did like making up from their fights.

It wasn’t perfect. Frank still had his demons, his need for the mission. Nightmares would keep him up at night, sometimes about his family, sometimes about Karen. Karen still had her past traumas to deal with and still ran headlong into trouble, little regard for her own safety. They argue, she doesn't always agree with how Frank handles things, he can't make Karen stop running into the dark places of the city, but they were making it work. Together.

[plague-of-insomnia]

So Andre suggested I post my serial original fiction, In/Exhale, on AO3.

The thing is, I wrote season 1 in like 2012, and it was the first time I had tried to write the story for a public audience... so I would have a huge urge to re-write/Re-edit it (again)... but I honestly don’t really have the time/energy for that.

Would anyone be interested in reading it via AO3?

(In its current state. You can read it via free downloadable ebook on my site right now.)

It’s on on-going series, with three complete seasons so far, probably like 300-500K words.

I know several of you expressed interest in reading some of my original work. When I asked that question I wasn’t thinking of I/E, but it is a story very close to my heart.

Here is some info about the story from my website:

Here’s a tiny excerpt from the first episode (abridged):

Kai tried to bite back the wave of regret that swept over him. Sure, he’d lost a few years, but that was behind him. He had a future now, one he hadn’t thought would be possible, and he needed to focus on that. He’d put the past firmly behind him, and focus on the now, on the possibilities ahead of him instead. And none of these people had to know any of it, if he could help it.

It only took a few minutes to reach the third floor, and Kai shuffled out behind a couple of cute girls. He wondered if he could ever bring himself to get close to someone again. Not just in bed--he had Nikki for that, and what they had was incredible--in fact, he planned on seeing her tonight after his classes. But growing up as an orphan in a home, he'd always dreamed of having a family someday. A wife whom he loved, and who loved him, some kids. Most of his life that had been as big a fantasy as flying, but then he'd met Becca. Becca, who he'd thought could maybe be the one, who would stick with him despite everything.

Kai felt his hands balling into fists as he wandered down the hall for his first class. New start, new start, he thought, fighting his fingers' instinct to sign the words as he finally found room 312, shuffling in behind a few other students.

Room 312 was one of the large auditorium-style lecture halls on campus, with stadium seating leading up in tiered rows, divided into three sections by stairs. It was still early; class didn't start for at least another twenty minutes, so plenty of seats lay empty. Kai glanced at the front row, where there were gaps obviously intended for wheelchairs and sighed despite himself before turning his attention to the stairs and the far top back of the room. Troy had told him to push himself as far as he reasonably could, and although he had avoided stairs as a general rule for most of his life, he decided to give them a try.

Without his crutches or a handrail it was harder than it could have been, and halfway up Kai debated stopping. But he'd been trapped at the bottom of rooms like this so often in his life, and the thrill of his breath coming so easily even as his exhalations and inhalations grew quicker and shallower, encouraged him to keep going.

When he finally reached the top, he collapsed in the first available seat, staring down and reveling in his achievement. He knew it was silly, and it wasn't like he'd ever seen a mountain, but he realized this must be what it felt like to climb one and look down, admiring the view, knowing what you did to earn it. It wasn't the most practical seat for various reasons.

Kai was so lost in his own thoughts he hadn't realized a girl had sat down beside him. It was her aroma that got him first; one of the things Kai had enjoyed most since he'd been extubated post-transplant was getting his sense of smell back. She smelled delicate and floral; he couldn't quite place the exact scent, but it was subtle and lovely. A body spray, perhaps, instead of a perfume. Certainly not pungent enough to provoke an attack if this had been before.

When he turned his head, he realized she'd been staring at him, and for a moment, he grew nervous. Had his collar dipped or come undone and she could see his trache scar? He knew it was creepy looking, especially if you'd never seen anything like it before. Reflexively, he brought his fingers to his neck, and maybe she sensed she'd been staring, because she blinked, shook her head, and smiled.

"Sorry." She cleared her throat. "I'm Renee Poche," she said. Her voice was soft and sweet like her scent; clearly, she wasn't from the Midwest.

"Kai Fox," he replied, offering his hand, reluctantly dropping it from his throat.

She smiled. God, she had a beautiful smile. She was petite; it was hard to tell how tall now that they were sitting, but it was yet another indication that she wasn't from around here. Her hair was dark--almost black--and curly. Kai didn't know much about women, but it looked natural, her thick tendrils perfectly framing her face in a managed chaos he found entrancing despite the fact that Becca also had curly hair.

"That's an unusual name. You a freshman?" She asked as she pulled a notebook and pen out of her bag.

Kai flushed slightly, realizing how silly it was for his body to react this way. "Yeah." He couldn't manage to say more than that.

She flipped her desk out and laid her supplies on it, smiling the whole time. "I'm an architecture student, so my program's five years. I'm a second-year right now. But I put off most of my core classes last year, so here I am."

Kai grinned despite himself. He wanted to touch her curls, feel their softness on his skin, never stop smelling her unique floral scent. His stomach churned and he knew immediately he wanted to know more about her--everything. Suddenly, his chest grew tight, and his face paled. No. This hadn't happened since. . . . Reflexively, he dropped his hand to his right pocket, feeling the inhaler beneath his palm.

"You OK?" Her face was so concerned and sincere, and she'd reached for him, placing a warm, tiny hand on his arm.

He stared at it, forced himself to take a few slow breaths, realizing he was OK. They'd experimentally grafted the most important nerves, so he had more sensation than most transplant patients, but it was different than before, something he was still getting used to. The tightness could have been his imagination. How was it that this girl he hardly knew, whom he'd just met, could make him feel so off kilter? He eased his lips into a smile to reassure her and give backing to his words.

"Yeah. Sorry." He swallowed. "First day jitters, I guess," he added with a bit of a blush.

She laughed, a musical, lilting sound that made him grateful for his hearing. "So what classes are you taking this semester?"

Kai thought a moment. "World History I, English Comp, Intro to Philosophy, Intro to Psych."

The professor had arrived and was setting up for the lecture, writing "World History I, H101, MILLER" on the white board.

"Me too," she said. "I mean, I have those same classes. We should sit together in them, too."

Kai felt a warm flutter in his stomach. "I'd like that."

Renee looked as if she were about to say something else when the professor cleared his throat and began to speak. He was a short, chubby, bearded man, or perhaps his height was an illusion created by the distance, dressed almost stereotypically in khakis, simple button-up, and tartan sportscoat with brown patches on the elbows.

"Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to World History I. This course will fulfill your common curriculum requirement, but only if you study hard and pass my exams."

Kai knew he should be taking notes, but he'd nearly forgotten himself, so entranced by Renee, so he fumbled for his bag to grab a notebook and his own pen. It could have been his imagination, but she seemed to be casting glances at him every few minutes, smiling the entire time.

"Many people ask, 'why study history?'" Professor Miller leaned on his podium as if he were studying the class, taking everyone in one by one. With nearly three-hundred students in this section, there was no way he could know them all, and Kai knew he and Renee were just two in a sea of faces. "Of course, the easy answer is 'because then we're doomed to repeat it.' However, I think life is far more complicated than that."Professor Miller abandoned his podium and crossed so he was nearer to the first row of students, laying one arm across his stomach and balancing his opposite elbow in the palm of his hand, supporting his chin on his fist. "I believe that the past, however behind us it may seem, is never truly gone." Miller again searched the faces in the crowd, and for a split moment, despite being dozens of feet away, Kai felt as if their eyes met, and his pulse quickened, nervous, but not sure exactly why. He glanced over at Renee, partially so he didn’t have to look at the professor, and partially to simply steal a peek at her. She had her head bent over her paper, as if she were taking notes, but he could see from here her page was blank.

"The past is always a part of us, and as much as we may like to forget that, not only can't we, we mustn't." Professor Miller nodded his head, then turned his back on the audience.

Kai knew Miller wasn’t speaking to him, couldn’t be speaking to him, but why did his words feel so personal? And why couldn’t one forget the past? Kai had done it before, shifting dark memories into the deep recesses of his brain, never talked about, never thought about. Why should now be any different?

[cami-chats]

Abridge

Fandom: Marvel

Pairings: Tony Stark/Johnny Storm

Warnings: None

"Hey Tony is that you?" Sam asked, pointing at a picture that popped up on the television screen. It was a preview for the upcoming gossip that passed for news these days, a shady snapshot of Tony and Johnny Storm.

Tony looked up to see what he was referring to. "Yeah."

"Who's that with you?" he asked, since no one on the news team recognized Johnny. It didn't help that he wasn't facing the camera head on. If Tony remembered correctly, Johnny hadn't been wearing a helmet and Tony was calling him an idiot.

The tv put that picture next to one of Steve with the caption 'Iron Man and Captain America slumming it? Possible secret romance!'. Tony snorted, looking back towards his tablet. "Steve, apparently."

"That's not Steve," Sam said, rolling his eyes.

Tony hummed absently, not listening to him anymore.

Sam rolled his eyes again and changed the channel.

*

Johnny threw back five shots in a row. True to his word, he was still standing when the other guy fell flat on his ass.

Tony was snickering the entire time and trying to hide it. He knew from his party days how this was going to end, and he was pretty sure Johnny knew it too. At least Tony hoped he knew, because otherwise this was about to get very unpleasant.

They made it outside safely, but when Johnny turned to head for the car, Tony grabbed his arm, shaking his head. "No way."

"C'mon, I thought we were going back to your's." He wrapped his arms around Tony and reached down to grab his ass. He bit at Tony's neck, sucking a mark into the skin.

"You're about to get sick, and you're not doing that in my car."

"I'm not gonna get sick," he said defensively.

"Uh-huh, sure champ."

"I'm not."

They started walking, Johnny leaning heavily on his side, and they only made it past three buildings before Johnny heaved into a trashcan. Tony rubbed his back and made sure that he didn't get any shit on his jacket-- he was pretty sure Johnny loved that jacket more than life itself.

*

"That's a hickey," Natasha said, craning her neck to get a better look at the blotchy mark on Tony's skin.

"Yeah," Tony said. He raised his hand to rub at it automatically.

"Who's it from? I didn't even know you were dating someone."

He shrugged. "Not sure I would call it dating. I called him my boyfriend the other day and he told me that he wanted to 'keep it casual', whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean."

Natasha made a sympathetic face. "How old is he?"

"Legal."

"Well, yes. If he's over thirty, I would say he has commitment issues and he needs to rethink a few things about his life."

"And if he's younger?"

"Then I'd say he probably just wants to fuck around and you should think about whether or not that's something you want. Which is he?"

Tony wasn't listening anymore though. By the time she'd asked, he was on the other side of the kitchen, making a new pot of coffee. She gave an exaggerated huff and dropped it. Chances were, she'd hear how it ended.

*

"Johnny, come on. We text all the time, and we go on dates every two days. That sounds like we're dating to me."

"Yeah," Johnny said, rubbing his hand against his head uncomfortably, "but you know that's not what I mean by it, Tony. I told you that, and you said you were okay with it."

"Did I? Because I remember rolling my eyes."

"You did look at me like I was stupid," he agreed.

"That's because you're being stupid."

"Hey," Johnny protested.

"Did you seriously think I'd want to do this for months if it wasn't going to lead anywhere? I'm past the age where just sex is fun. If that's all you want, fine, but it's not going to be with me."

Johnny gave Tony a sharp smile that was all teeth and no humor. "Fine." He pushed himself back from the table and headed for the door, grabbing his leather jacket off the back of the chair as he passed. "See you around."

"No you won't."

He paused in shoving his feet into his shoes. "Yeah I guess I won't. Bye Tony. It was fun."

The door closed, and Tony dropped his head into his hands miserably. Tony Stark Luck aka fall in love with the exactly wrong person. It was a tried and true fact of his life, no matter what he did. Woo-hoo, he thought flatly. He was getting too old for this shit.

*

Natasha took one look at Tony, then pushed her bowl of ice cream over to him in offering.

"Thanks," he muttered, taking a bite.

"Rough day?"

He shrugged.

"If you haven't had a bad day, I'm taking my ice cream back," she warned.

Tony took one more bite, then pushed the bowl back to her. "Hasn't been the best. I'll go work on that comm update for you."

*

Sue looked at her brother, then turned away. Then she sighed and turned back. "Okay what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he lied.

She didn't say anything, just waited. Give Johnny silence for long enough, and he would break. Sure enough, a few minutes later he started talking.

"How did you know when you were in love with Reed? Like, you guys were together, then you broke up for a while, but you've been fine ever since."

"Johnny, are you in love with someone? I never thought I'd see the day," she mused.

He glared at her.

"Fine, fine." Sue leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest while she thought. "I guess one day I realized that I didn't want to spend my life without him. Like when I went off to get my doctorate and you were spending time in California, it kind of killed me. I realized that I didn't want to live my life without you, and after Reed and I got back together... I guess I thought the same thing."

"Hmm." Johnny was looking morosely at the floor, thinking. "So that's it? Just- you don't want to live without him?"

"I'm pretty sure that's how most people find out they're in love; it's not that weird."

"But that's so easy."

"Did you want a cryptic answer?"

"Well no offense Sue but that's kinda what I was expecting."

"Fine," Sue said, rolling her eyes. "Look deep in your heart and think about them and you'll know. Better?"

"Don't go into poetry, you'd starve."

"Oh for fuck's sake Johnny. Either tell the woman you're in love with her or get out."

"Man," he corrected.

"What?"

"It's a guy."

"Are you bi, then?"

Johnny shrugged. "I thought that would get more of a reaction, you know."

"Gasp, oh goodness, oh my," she said flatly. "Tell the man you love him, or get out."

"It's Tony Stark."

"WHAT?" Sue startled, looking at him with wide eyes. She'd knocked over her cup of water, but she didn't even notice. "Tony Stark? As in Iron Man?"

"That's the reaction I was hoping for," he said with a shit-eating grin.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Jonathan Lowell Storm you had better be serious."

"Middle naming me? Really Sue?"

Her eyes narrowed to slits. It made her look half asleep, but also like she would kick his ass to the moon if he didn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

"Yeah it's the Tony Stark."

"How did I not hear about this? You can't keep your mouth shut about anything, but when it's something cool you clam up?"

"I thought Reed hated Stark Industries."

"Reed's jealous, and from what I've heard, he and Tony Stark don't get along. Can I meet him?"

"Technically we're broken up."

She threw a stack of papers at him. They fluttered to the floor long before getting in range of hitting him, but it made her feel better all the same. "Go make up. I want his opinion on these radiation scans, and since Reed and I got married, I'm pretty sure he ignores anything that has the last name 'Richards' attached."

"I thought Banner was the radiation expert of the team."

"He is, but he's also off world right now. Originally I was going to wait until he got back, but this would be much faster."

"Using my relationship to get your research expedited... that's villain stuff, Suze. You sure you're feeling okay?"

"Why are you still here? Wait, Johnny, are you actually worried?" When he didn't immediately answer, she said, "Oh my god you are worried." There was a chance then, where she could have done the sympathetic thing and told him that there was nothing to worry about, that she was certain everything would work out for the best. Instead, she threw her head back, cackling. "This is priceless."

"Whoever said women are sympathetic has never met you."

"If you don't want to be mocked, you shouldn't have come to me. What's the problem in your relationship anyways? If it was just being in love, you wouldn't look like someone scratched your favorite bike."

"There's no problem."

"Oh Johnny," she sighed. "You panicked, didn't you."

"No," he lied.

"See, because I'm nice, I'm gonna warn you right now. You can either leave to go fix this, or you can stick around while I mock you some more. Which is it going to be?"

"You're a lot meaner than you used to be," he noted, walking towards the door. She was also a lot happier than she used to be, so the trade off was pretty good. Considering that her 'nicer' days were actually just her being a pushover, he wasn't actually complaining.

"Let me know how it goes!"

He raised a hand to let her know he heard but didn't say anything in return.

*

"Uhhh," Bucky said, frowning at the person who was standing in front of the tower and looking up towards the Avenger's floors. He looked suspiciously like Steve, but there was something about his bearing that screamed they weren't the same person. Sort of... over confident and self assured. It reminded him of Tony, actually. He was just going to keep walking. It wasn't his business, and sticking his nose where it didn't belong had gotten him kidnapped by a villain twice since leaving Hydra's control.

Steve glanced over when he entered the room. "Hey Buck. How was the dog park?"

"It was good. There's someone in front of the building that looks like you. It's kinda creepy."

"Really?"

Bucky nodded.

"Huh, that's weird. Do you know where the peanut butter is? I can't find it."

*

"Sir," Jarvis said, interrupting him from the latest Iron Man armor design.

"Yeah J?"

"Mister Storm is at the front desk asking for you. Should I tell them to let him in?"

Tony paused. Johnny was here? Did that mean... No. It was likely that Tony had forgotten a tie or something at his apartment and he was just returning it. "Yes. Direct him to the penthouse, I'll meet him there."

"Of course, sir."

Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This was not going to be fun. He saved the plans and got to his feet, patting DUM-E's strut as he passed. "Try not to destroy anything while I'm gone buddy."

DUM-E gave a chirp that was probably supposed to be a promise that he would behave, but Tony knew better than to believe it. He got up to the penthouse and filled a glass with water, just so he'd have something to do with his hands.

The elevator doors opened, and Johnny stepped out, looking around. He'd never been to the Tower before since he insisted that they weren't dating, and therefore there was no reason for him to be in Tony's primary home where he could meet all his teammates. "Nice place," he said mildly.

"Is that why you're here? To compliment the furniture my decorator picked out?"

"No," Johnny said with a sigh. He scratched at the back of his head.

"Are you okay?" He'd never seen Johnny so... reserved.

"Sue tells me I'm an idiot, and since she knows me better than anyone, I guess I have to believe her."

"Okay?"

"I missed you," he admitted.

Tony's hand clenched tightly around his glass.

"I was being stupid when I said we should keep it casual. I've never wanted to keep someone around before." He gave a smile and a shrug. "Guess I made a mistake leaving the other day."

"And?"

Johnny heaved a put-upon sigh and walked closer. "And we should start dating like we should have been doing from the beginning. I'm sorry that I ran away from my feelings and you got hurt because of it. If it makes you feel better, I'm new to the whole 'being in love' thing."

"You're in love? With me?"

"Uhh shit I didn't mean to say that."

"No take-backsies," Tony said, pointing a finger at him. "You made your bed now you have to lie in it. Tell me more about how magnificent I am and how much you love me." Tony was grinning, and he laughed when Johnny rolled his eyes, stepping into his space and taking the glass of water from him.

"You're magnificent and I love you."

"That's just repeating what I said, it doesn't count."

"Give me time, I'm sure I'll think of something."

[cerastes]

HEY DRIMO it's been a while since you did a big myth post so how about you tell me a cool story about my boi karna

Oh dear me, Hindu mythos, damn, ok, so, first rule of Hindu mythos is that you all have to wear your seat belts while reading this. If you don’t, you are susceptible to immense physical and spiritual damage, enough that it might kick you right out of the cycle of reincarnation, and then the Mythos Retelling Collective (MRC) will revoke my license due to Irresponsible Sharing of Intense Tales (art. 23847). Are you all strapped in? Y’all got your helmets? Alright alright, let’s get this show on the road.

SO, KARNA. I assume most of you are familiar with Karna having Big Strength and being god damn unkillable. Ok, so, it goes beyond that. It goes at least three Milky Ways in width beyond that. Originally known by his other name, Vasusena (and this dude has like 14 different names), Karna is the main protagonist of the Hindu epic, Mahabharata, and–

Oh, right, before I can tell you anything about the Mahabharata, or about Hindu mythos in general, I need to explain power levels. So you know how in Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Vegeta and Nappa use “Raditz” as a unit of measure for power levels and ki? “My power level is 500 Raditz.” “My power level is 23000 Raditz”, the joke being that Raditz was such a weak grunt that his meager total power can be used as a unit as you would with centimeters? Ok, this is actually canon in Hindu mythos. They have a scale of power levels, referred to as “Levels of Warrior Excellence”. The levels are:

Ardha-rathi: The lowest level, meaning literally “Half of a Rathi”. Read the next section for a more elaborate explanation, but this is Yamcha-tier, basically, the weakest of the badasses.

Rathi: It almost sounds like Raditz, doesn’t it? Well, Rathi is the unit by which all the other levels of Warrior Excellence are measured, as well as a rank by itself. A Rathi is an individual so powerful and skilled, that they can do battle with 1000 regular warriors simultaneously. This is the “Dynasty Warriors Playable Character” tier: Strong, but still susceptible to frames per seconds drops and getting stunlocked by arrows.

Atirathi: HERE is where things get spicy. An Atirathi is a warrior that can fight with six Rathi simultaneously. This is the level of strength possessed by Kevin by the time of Home Alone 2.

Ekarathi: You thought six was impressive? TRY EIGHT RATHI SIMULTANEOUSLY. We are entering Popeye-with-spinach levels of world-ending strength now.

Maharathi: The top level, the cream of the crop, the true definition of “Fuckhouse”. Those who reach this level are immensely powerful, and can do battle with 12 or more Rathi simultaneously. That is 12000 asses worth of whoopings. This is where you favorite Touhou is, obviously, and fuck what everyone else says.

Their measure of unit is basically “How many thousands of dudes can this person fight, or how many people that can fight a thousand people at once can this person fight?”, which, in other words, means that India has not fucked around a single day in it history.

So you might be wondering, “where’s Karna in all of this?”. Well, Chili Con Karna is SO MINDBOGGLINGLY STRONG AND SPICY that he is, literally, a Double Maharathi. Karna is stated to be “in terms of strength and skill, equal to two Maharathi warriors”. These peak jokers made this elaborate power level chart just so they could say “AND KARNA IS DOUBLE AS STRONG AS THE STRONGEST”. He is Two Gokus. Karna could literally look at you, without the laser, and you would just be atomized, restructured, and atomized again in the span of minus three seconds, and you would thank him for it. And damn RIGHT you would thank him for it, because he probably didn’t mean to do that to you. That’s because Karna, despite having more powers than Superman and God combined, is the Ultimate Good Boy. This dude is Puppy Kiss Central, this dude chips in on Pizza Thursday every week, and makes up for those who didn’t chip in. Karna lets you take the last chicken nugget. Karna lets you use Player 1 when you hang out at his place. Karna tells you to text him or call him once you get home after hanging out and he gets worried if you don’t. That dashing guy you saw doing volunteer work at the homeless shelter the other day? Probably Karna. The owner of Old Friends Dog Sanctuary? Definitely Karna.

He’s GOOD.

And that’s why the Mahabharata is so painful: I don’t speak Hindi, but I am pretty sure “mahabharata” translates directly to “Karna Has Bad Day :(”. Today, we’ll be talking about Karna’s Three Curses, with a little bit of his childhood for context on the first one, and because I just want to talk about his dumbass mom. Also that one time he clowned Arjuna and Planet Fucking Earth got mad at him.

SO, there was this lady named Kunti, princess of the Kunti Kingdom (yeah), and this one time she was the host to a sage named Durvasa, who was visiting. She is a most Excellent Host, and provided Durvasa with the best of services, the most delicious food, the most luxurious of drinks, and every volume of Detective Conan, and Durvasa was so stoked at this 10/10 Would Come Again service, that he gave Kunti a special boon: With a mantra he taught her, she now had the amazing power to get knocked up by any deity of her selection. Kunti was really happy with her new pregnancy powers, and couldn’t wait to try them out, so she did to call upon the Sun God Surya, and guess what fucking happened: That’s right, fucking happened. It was a violent and intense cyclone of sex so kinky that the baby was born with armor and earrings (in some versions, Surya “handed” the child to Kunti, but in others, which I opt to believe, Kunti bore his child, and his fat solar load was so powerful that the fetus was armored). And then Kunti was like “oh fuck it worked lol but I am not wed” and since she didn’t want to be an unmarried mother (refer to Hindu tradition for this one), so she did like many other Mothers In Mythology and she put Armor Baby on a basket and set him afloat on the rivER LIKE A REAL KUNT, IT WAS IN HER NAME ALL ALONG, WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES KEEP DOING THIS.

THE REST IS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE THIS IS TURNING LONG.

Like many other Babies In Mythology, Armor Baby was found by someone, this someone being a charioteer named Adhiratha, but not just ANY charioteer, this was the chief charioteer of King Dhritarashtra, who I hope will forgive me if I wrote his name wrong, and was adopted by the charioteer and his wife, Radha. Armor Baby was given a name, Vasusena, and his pet name was Radheya among the locals. Being born an armored baby, it should come as no surprise Vasusena was interested in the military arts, and so he approached this really cool dude named Dronacharya who taught princes about warfare, BUT Drone told the armor kid to fuck the off because he only taught Kshatriyas (the military social caste in Hindu culture), but he was very impressed by Vasusena’s guts because this shit ass kid more or less just strolled into his house and said “HEY TEACH ME HOW TO BE A BADASS”, so he suggested to his father to change his name to Karna, which means “one who peels his own skin”, as a reference to his guts and totally not any sort of foreshadowing to anything NO SIR WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT.

So ok he got a cool name and whatever, bUT SEE, he still got told to fuck off, which he DIDN’T LIKE, so Cartman, not one to be daunted, sought out Dron’s own teacher instead, because fuck you, that’s why. So Kane finds him, name of Parashurama, and asks him BUT FIRST he disguises himself as a Brahmin, because Futurama only teaches Brahmins, and Karlos was not gonna make THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE. Panasonic agrees, seeing potential in this Double Goku kid and so begins the training arc. Result: Parashurama proudly announces that Karna is his equal in the art of warfare and archery. All this heaving and hoing gets my man Parmesan tired, though, so Karna, ever the good boy, offers his sensei his lap so he can sleep, sensei says fuck yeah and he uses his lap pillow. While he is sleeping, however, a very angry bee goes and stings the hell out of Karna’s thigh, but he’s got his sensei on his lap, which is like when you have a cat or a puppy on your lap and it falls asleep and you do not DARE move. So he didn’t, and this leads to a very important lesson to be learned in the Mahabharata: NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED. When he woke up, Parashurama saw the wound and the blood that flowed from it (and from this, I take bees in India are Cazadores from Fallout New Vegas) and immediately realized that Kane was NOT a Brahmin. This lie meant he had ILLEGALLY STOLEN INFORMATION, and so he cast a curse on Karna that made him forget everything about how to wield the divine weapon Brahmandra-astra, an immensely powerful divine weapon he learned to use, but Karna pleaded to please be reasonable, at which point Par realized, hey, maybe this is kinda excessive and impulsive, so he reduced the curse to make it so Karna would only forget it when he needed it the most against an equally powerful warrior, which IS NOT ANY FUCKING BETTER, and then he felt EVEN WORSE because Karna had basically been his best student ever and is a Good Person, so he gave him his own divine weapon, the Bhagavastra, as well as his bow, Vijaya. I mean, you could’ve just. Undone the curse. But hey. New weapons!

So Karna, a dedicated and excellent archer, was VERY HYPED to try out this new legendary bow he had come to own! There’s a thing in Hindu martial arts called “Shabdavedi Vidhya”, the art of hitting a target by detecting the source of the sound. What Karna didn’t consider is that shooting things by just detecting their sound, you know, means you are not REALLY LOOKING AT WHAT YOU ARE SHOOTING, but hey, like eager-to-try-new-toys mother, like eager-to-try-new-toys son. Three guesses as to what happened. You are RIGHT, HE SHOT A FUCKING COW. And it’s not with a little arrow or a harmless stick, this was with the Vijaya, which means that cow was obliterated off the face of this god damn planet. My dude was practicing “shooting at sounds” with a tactical nuke launcher. What the tits did he expect to happen. SEE, I’m sure you know, but shooting cows in India is not exactly something you just apologize about. But Karna, albeit not the brightest crayon in the box, was still Ultimate Good Boy, so he went to apologize to the owner of the cow, who happened to be an actual Brahmin who had performed the Agnihotra rite daily, which made him extra holy. Brahmin, of course, was pissed, and since apparently people in India just have a full moveset of curses ready to sling at a moment’s noticed, cursed Karna AGAIN, with this curse being “fated to die a helpless and callous death”. Not the best series of days for Karna. He could’ve just walked away, but he’s a Good Boy, so he had to take responsibility. NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.

So I want to call attention to this bitch of a life for a second: Baby is born because some cunt used her super pregnancy powers to see if they worked without considering the consequences of, you know, getting super pregnant, Baby is chucked into a basket and sent to fuck off on the rapids, is picked up, immediately tries to enroll with a fighting master, instead enrolls with a SUPER fighting master that taught the previous fighting master, and gets double cursed for being a good boy and having bad trigger discipline.

Now, let’s skip a couple of chapters, and we arrive at the moment where the Pandava princes, all demi-gods, hosted a “tournament” of sorts to show off their skills to the people and to their guru, Drona. They were all having a good time, being badass and superpowered WHEN SUDDENLY Karna shows up and arrogantly challenges them because he knows he can do better, from what he has seen. One of the princes, Arjuna (kept you waiting, huh?), who was regarded by Drona to be the most powerful and skilled on the Pandava, told him to maybe fuck off, and that they couldn’t compete because they were above him, as his caste was no doubt lower than theirs. A certain pair of ears DID NOT LIKE THIS and jumped to Karna’s defense: Duryodhana is the name of the owner of said ears, and he’s got Authority. How much of it? Well, he just up and named Karna King of Anga then and there, just so he could compete. Holy SHIT. Now, see, Duryo hates the Pandava. Duryo REALLY, REALLY HATES the Pandava, and he was 100% behind supporting this random stranger if it meant he could possibly maybe humiliate these ugly sumbitches. Maybe. Ok, see, here’s where it gets a bit weird, but depending on who tells the tale, Duryo and Karna actually already knew each other and were childhood friends, but most tellings make this their first meeting, and I am absolutely on board with that, because it only goes on to show how much Duryo hated the Pandava, and divine people in general. He just fucking HATED gods, man. Can relate. So Karna goes and UTTERLY OUTDOES AND UPSTAGES the Pandava princes. Outright beats all their highscores and writes “ASS” in the 1st Place billboard on each entry as his name. They are all FURIOUS at him, especially Arjuna, who had aced every single event, and now had to wear a nice 2nd place on all of them because this absolutely nobody (no one knew Karna was the sun’s son yet) showed up and utterly pulverized them. This also starts his relationship with Duryo, with whom he’d become fast, and eventually, best friends.

BUT, SEE, HE KINDA GOT MADE A KING, SO HEY, HE HAD TO GO, UH, TEND TO THAT. He was checking his brand new sudden kingdom, when he came across a WEEPING CHILD. If there is one thing Ultimate Good Boy can’t stand, that’s the tears of children, so he approached the girl and asked what’s wrong. See, the girl had accidentally dropped her ghee (kinda like butter but less dense) and she was going to get her ass whooped by her step mother. Karna kindly offered to buy her new ghee, but she said it had to be THAT SPECIFIC ghee with the dirt on it, and that she didn’t want any other. Karna, in his infinite kindness, said “oh, sure, lol”, so he grabbed the dirt and squeezed it with all of his extremely godly might, extracting the ghee back into the jar as if squeezing water out of a sponge, because that’s just the kind of solution you come up with when you are the strongest person in Ever.

hey

hey

you guys remember what I said a while ago?

WHY YES

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.

Guess what happened. Guess whose anger he incurred. He got Bhumi Devi/Mother Earth herself pissed at him. And what was her beef, you ask? Well, see, Karna squeezed that soil SO DAMN HARD that she took offense. Yes. Really. And guess whSHE FUCKING CURSED HIM TOO, OH MY GOD, CEASE THIS, YOU CAN’T JUST HEX A DUDE FOR SQUEEZING DIRTY, COME ON. The curse this time was that she would one day trap his chariot’s wheel during a crucial moment in his life. All because that little girl wouldn’t make do with a new jar of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

WORST. WORLD. EVER.

And guess how Karna dies.

Yes.

His chariot’s wheel gets trapped on the earth (third curse) during a crucial confrontation with Arjuna, he attempts to defend himself with his astral weapon, but forgets how to conjure it (first curse), and is decapitated by a shot of Arjuna’s Gandiva as he helplessly leans against the chariot’s wheel, unable to free it (second curse).

The moral of the story is don’t fucking help anyone, ever, and don’t own up to your mistakes, because if you do, you’ll be triple cursed.

                                                                                       Karna deserved better.

[ellie-valsin]

Loved it.  Loved it.  Loved it.

Yeah, so.  When we were in Moscow in October, I at last got to see my first “French” musical, and it wasn’t even in French.  :3  I’ve had this thing on my radar for a while, and I was giddy excited when it turned out that it would be playing while we were in Russia after all.  It was everything I hoped for and more.

I think we all kinda know what I mean when I say “French musical”.....I mean a nice, big, gooey helping of campy joy served up hot, complete with lots of belting, anachronistic pleather costumes, and gratuitous interpretive dancing in the background of every scene.  Like Broadway as filtered through a Backstreet Boys concert.  And by that definition, Anna Karenina: The Musical is probably the most French thing the Russians have made in a while.

And it was awesome.

First off, I should note that this musical, like the 2012 movie, was not really intended for those not already familiar with the story going into it.  It was so impressionistic at parts and skipped so many of the plot points that the uninitiated could be forgiven for not giving a shit about what’s going on with these characters.  If you’ve read the book first, though (as pretty much all Russians have, I imagine), you’d be able to follow just fine, though some of the plot abridgments might piss you off.  Didn’t piss me off, though, because not only am I not much of a purist about this book, but I was just enjoying the craziness of this thing so much that I couldn’t spare a moment to be snobbishly outraged.  I mean, I’m watching Levin groan out an angsty baritone solo about getting rejected and swallowing sadness, accompanied by a liberal dose of whiny electric guitar in the background.  How am I not going to go along with this...?

I should add that it helps that Russian musical theatre performers are incredibly talented...more than most French ones, IMO.  (Just my preference for “Broadway” type voices over poppy “Nouvelle Star” type voices in musical theatre...)  I was especially impressed by the actors playing Vronsky and Kitty in this, not to mention Anna herself...and the role of Anna in this is like the Elphaba of Russian musicals, a beast requiring a killer high belt in addition to a solid high and low range.  I live near NYC and see several Broadway shows a year, and I’d say any performer in this show could fit right into a Broadway-caliber production.  Even the distinguished gentleman playing Karenin just went ahead and belted his face off...!  It goes without saying that the Russians have all the classically-influenced areas covered, too: so the dancers have ballet training and are amazing, and did I mention there’s even an aria for an opera diva?  That’s probably what I thought set this apart the most from the French musicals--this is clearly influenced by that style of musical, but it sounds distinctly Russian in musical stylings throughout.  Not like balalaika-stereotypical-Russian-folk-music stuff, but just...Russian.  Hard to explain, easy to hear.  Chords and modes, maybe?  I don’t know, just my uneducated impression.  Even if it were sung in a different language, I feel like the musical language is still firmly Russian.  The show will be getting a Korean production in January, and I’m very curious to see if that’ll sound odd, to have that “Russian-ish” score not sung in Russian...

My one complaint is that there’s no cast recording available on CD.  Instead they have this Apple app that lets you listen to the music while choosing which performers you want to hear (since Russian musicals, like Asian ones, are double cast).  That’s cool and all, and I’ve enjoyed playing around with the different casts, but man, it sucks that I needed to get a Russian iTunes account just to get this cast recording and that I have to log into it just to hear this one show.  So, um, maybe a CD for the rest of the world who doesn’t have Russian iTunes...?  Or a DVD, I’d accept that, too.......  <:)

In short, thumbs up, even for the goofy parts (ahem, everything with the steampunk train peeps and with Betsy), and I can’t wait to one day see a “French musical” in a language I actually understand.  ;)

(P.S., next time somebody makes an Anna Karenina adaptation, can we just cut to the chase and do the plotline everybody really came to see?  We can call it “Anna Karenina: Levin’s Story.”)

[thekillingquill]

Dark Side of Your Room | Episode 1

This is a sequel to At the Drive-In. However, having read the prequel is not necessarily a requirement. I leave that up to your discretion.

At The Drive-In: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 + Epilogue

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Pairing: Jughead x Reader, Jughead x Betty Word Count: 1,465 Warnings: I probably put some swear words in at some point. This story will traverse into uncharted waters in later chapters. This is due to Riverdale being off the air until October. Summary: Jughead and Reader reconnect at Southside High where he notices that she’s wearing a very familiar leather jacket.  A/N: There was some weird formatting and I tried to fix it. Apologies if anything is off. This sequel was inspired by @tasteofswallowedwords and @forsythe-pendleton-jones-iv who each had like eight questions about the epilogue for At the Drive-In. Their questions inspired additional content that I had in my head, but never put into words. Feel free to let me know if you had any questions :) they could inspire me!

We always say that we’ll keep in touch Nobody does but it don’t matter much

She’s heading towards the cafeteria with three of her friends from English when she thinks she sees a prince straight out of a Disney movie standing by the payphones. Her laughter freezes on her tongue when their eyes meet and she feels like there is too much blood pumping through her body at once. Seeing him in the halls of Southside High steals all of the air from her lungs and blocks out all ambient noise.

She is cursed to love Jughead Jones the Third for the rest of her young life.

Though the hall remained full of students, she only had eyes for him. She managed to find the social graces to make an excuse up for her friends before she starts moving towards him. It is entirely possible that she has fallen asleep in class. This could all be a dream. If it is, she wants to make sure she gets the most out of it.

When he is close enough, she lunges at him with her arms wide open. He is real and trapped within the unending circle of her arms. His nose bumps her earlobe and she shudders against him, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears. On more than one occasion she has spent her night wishing that she’d found a way to bottle up his intoxicating scent. She took this opportunity to get her fill, knowing that this could very well be the last time all over again.

“It’s so good to see you,” she admits to his neck, pressing her face closer to his flushed skin. This is what he does to her. He cracks her open in ways that no one else ever could with no effort at all. His warmth, his scent, his entire being disarms her in milliseconds.

She is cold when he pulls back from her, until his hands gently cups her elbows. This slight touch is a warm breeze on an autumn day. She watches his dark eyes moving rapidly over her face and she can’t help but to smile at him fondly. The focus of his hungry eyes raking over her features is the spark of electricity in a summer storm: dangerous, beautiful, and promising.

“What are you doing here?” He asks breathlessly. With one question, Jughead Jones has blocked out the sun that had been warming her skin and she is left shivering. She should have known that Jughead was too wrapped up in the drama of his own life to notice. It explains why he had never reached out to her before this, because the boy she thought she knew would have shown up in the middle of a storm and offered her his jacket with fake reluctance.

She smiles because she’s still drunk on his scent and is strong enough to swallow down the knot of tangled emotions (sadness, anger, heartbreak, disbelief) to give him an answer.

“Not too long after the drive-in closed, there was a big storm brewing. It was the biggest storm to ever hit and someone called the police. When Sheriff Keller showed up he saw all of the destruction and I was put into foster care. My dad and I still see each other all the time, but I can’t be around my mom.” It is an abridged version of the second worst night of her life and the only way she can tell him what happened without making a scene at school. Jughead steps closer to her and she feels his thumb subconsciously stroking the leather covering her elbows.

“Did she hurt you?” Jughead asks her softly. The concern in his eyes burns through her and she is choked by her own emotion. It has been months, but she has never volunteered this story to anyone and only three people have ever demanded the truth of her.

Jughead’s soft words and kind touch makes her want to tell him. She looks at the students in the hall, which is as close to empty as it ever gets at Southside High, and pulls away from his gentle touch to gesture for Jughead to lean down. Her cheek brushes up against the warmth of his cheek and she almost forgets why they’re so close.

“She came at me with a knife.” She confesses in a whisper. “By the time Sheriff Keller showed up she had already cut me.” She pulls back from Jughead and steels herself for the reveal. With a fierce determination, she shrugs her shoulder so that the leather jacket slips down her arm to reveal her imperfection to him.

It took weeks for her to stop obsessing over it. Every time she looked at it she saw flashes of lightning and so that’s how she started referring to it: being touched by lightning. She shudders when Jughead runs his finger over the length of her scar.

“I’m so sorry,” he says while looking at it. His eyes are sad and there is so much depth to his words and his sympathetic expression that she is suddenly lost at sea without a life vest. She tosses her elbow out and up, sliding the jacket over her scar to avoid drowning in these high tides.

“It’s okay. Things are better for me now.” She tells him, giving them each a life preserver. She’s not even lying for his benefit. Things are better for her now, but the best she’d ever been was alone with him at the drive-in, her face pressed to his back and her hand tracing the skin on his lower abdomen.

“Are you… are you happy?” Jughead asks. He looks like he’s swallowed a bug and she can’t help but to grin. He looks so troubled that she pulls him into her once more and sways him from side to side like she would to any of her friends who require some comfort.

“I am, Jughead, I really am. I just wish you could be, too.” She pulls away and steps back from him, lest she be tempted to keep touching him. She’d thought she kicked this habit, but his energy was just as addictive to her now as it was then. Her time being clean was over, and she was jonesing for her next fix.

She tilts her head and gestures for them to continue down the hall, ignoring the usual teenage stupidity as they go.

“So last I heard you were living with Archie Andrews. How’d you end up at Southside?” It is a question that she has been dying to ask since she first saw him by the payphones. She was torn between happy to see him and worried for him. She had no doubt in her mind that he would do well here, he was a legacy after all, but he had such a good thing back at Riverdale High.

“Things at Archie’s didn’t work out. I’m with a southside foster family now.” They reach the doors of the cafeteria and she’s not sure she can go inside right now. She pauses and feels the pocket of her jacket for a quarter, hoping that if she calls he’ll be able to pick up. She looks up at Jughead with a fond smile, memorizing his features.

“I guess that means I’ll be seeing you around.” She starts walking backwards, keeping him in her sights for as long as possible. There is a whisper in her mind telling her that once he is out of her sight, he’ll be gone forever. Back to where he belongs, with who he belongs. The four friends, two couples, sharing milkshakes in their booth at Pop’s where she and Jughead used to sit together in silence for hours.

“Yeah, I’ll see you.” He’s watching her walk away and it makes her feel powerful. She sways her hips from side to side subconsciously, watching him watch her. It’s the kind of foreplay that she excels in.

She turns around before she can embarrass herself, forgetting for a moment just whose jacket she is currently wearing and what it will mean to Jughead when he sees it. Her mind is cloudy with his scent and completely lost to the memories of their last night together. She is reliving the feeling of his warm skin under her hands, over and over again as she walks away all the while knowing that Betty Cooper now has the privilege of touching him each night and smelling like him in the morning.  Betty gets to taste him whenever she wants to.

It’s clear to her that Betty and Jughead have the potential to be in love. If they aren’t yet, she’s sure they will be soon. It doesn’t change anything for her, though.

She is cursed to love Jughead Jones the Third for the rest of her young life.

You were my last young renegade heartache It only took one night Caught in the eye of a hurricane darlin’ we had to say goodbye

TAG LIST: @jillisbetterthanyou @overdressed-overbaked @thatsadbreakfastclub @ju-gg @forsythe-pendleton-jones-iv @redhairedoddity @murderyoursoul @tasteofswallowedwords @velvetacex @ri-verdale

[finn-nelson-for-the-win]

Hiya everyone!

I’ve had a lot of time to write recently and I may or may not have written the next 5 chapters, so to keep these chapters coming out on a regular basis, I figured now was as good of a time as any to post chapter 5…A large portion of this chapter was initially part of my chapter 4 update, but I decided to split it up to prevent chapter 4 from being like 10,000 words lol. Luckily, I was able to get this chapter back down under my 3,000 words or less goal (I feel like that’s a decent length, but if you prefer longer chapters let me know and maybe I won’t be as strict on myself with that goal.)

So picking up where my last post left off, Rae is overwhelmed by her recent realization that Finn could be reciprocating some of her romantic feelings, so she reaches out to some of her most trusted friends for advice…but will they tell her what she is hoping to hear? This chapter is practically an exact depiction of how I handled this situation not that long ago (and yes, before you ask, I am that annoying when I’m texting friends while freaking out hahaha) and once again most of these texts came straight from the group chat with some of my long-distance friends…

I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always each and every one of you that read, like, reblog, send massages, etc. mean the world to me and help me get off my ass and keep writing regardless of whatever shittiness I’m going through in my life right now, so thank you! ❤️

Click here if you’d like to get caught up on the first 4 chapters! 😁

Planting the Seed of Doubt

Rae’s hands were shaking—whether from excitement or overwhelming nerves, she was still uncertain of—as she unlocked her cellphone with the passcode and opened up the group chat conversation between two of her closest friends that were going to Uni on opposite side of the country from her. She had known Abigail and Chloe since they were kids and she knew that they would know exactly how Rae should be handling the situation.

Rae: Girls! OMG RED ALERT I HAVE SOME HUGE FUCKING NEWS

She placed her phone back on the stone table, taking a seat and anxiously awaiting her friends’ responses, nearly bouncing with anticipation. When her phone finally buzzed twice consecutively, Rae jumped, startled out of her distracted state before checking the messages she received.

Chloe: What is it Rae?

Abigail: Is everything ok? Are YOU ok Rae?

Rae: So you do girls remember that guy I told you about last month? My coworker with all the tattoos and the earring!?!

Abigail: Yeah, I remember you mentioning him and saying that he was a total knobhead…

Chloe: OMG RAE DID YOU TWO SHAG!?! I could sense the sexual tension between you and him with the last story you told us about him!! ;) ;) <3

Rae: Yeah, that’s him Abbie…And no, Chlo! WE DID NOT FUCKING SHAG!!!

Rae: When I first told you about him I had only just started working here and I described him to you two as the Bad Boy/Douchebag in every teen romance movie that you like watching!

Rae: Which was not meant as a compliment!!! >:(

Rae should have anticipated that Chloe would immediately assume that she was texting them to say that Rae had let Finn “whack it in her”, as Chloe has so eloquently put it on more than one occasion.

Chloe: What’s the news then? :/

Rae rolled her eyes in disbelief when she realized that Chloe was less than thrilled that Rae was not contacting her to brag about her recent “sexcapades” with her coworkers.

Why am I not surprised?

Rae’s phone buzzed against the table where she had set it down, indicating that she had received another text message.

Abigail: Yeah, Rae. The anticipation is killing me!!!! D:

Rae: Ok, so the bad boy/douche I told you two a bit about is named Finn, ok?

Rae knew that it would take a while to explain the situation via text, so she got into a comfortable position at the table in the garden she was sitting at and prepared to give her best mates the abridged version of her recent workplace flirtations with Finn.

Chloe: Go on

Abbie: Oh, that’s a cute name! Carry on…

Rae: So I just found out from my best mate at work that two weeks ago Finn was dumped by his girlfriend and he came to work the next day feeling kind of upset. Well, he sat by my friend and I and I guess he liked talking to us a lot because he has continued sitting next to us every day at work since then!

Chloe: So what, Rae? How is that big news?

Rae: WELL…TWO FUCKING WEEKS AGO WAS WHEN THIS TWAT STARTED BEING REALLY FRIENDLY WITH ME AND I JUST NOW REALIZED THAT THE DAY AT WORK WHEN HE HAD JUST BROKEN UP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND WAS ALSO THE DAY HE SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY AT WORK STARING AT ME AND OGLING MY TITS!

Rae: HOW THE FUCK DID THAT NOT OCCUR TO ME?!?! THAT CAN’T JUST BE A COINCIDENCE, RIGHT?!?!

Abigail: OH MY GOD, RAE! That’s insane!! Do you like him more now or do you still think he’s a “complete knob” like you said last time?

Rae was very happy to see that Abbie was already excited for her, but she couldn’t help but wonder what was going through Chloe’s mind upon reading these texts, since the read receipt on her phone indicted that Chloe had read the texts but she had yet to respond back.

Rae: I DON’T KNOW!! I’VE GOTTEN TO KNOW HIM A BIT MORE SINCE HE’S BEEN SITTING NEXT TO ME…AND A FEW OF MY COWORKERS EITHER THINK WE WOULD WORK AS A COUPLE OR THINK THAT WE ARE ALREADY SECRETLY A COUPLE!!!

Rae: AND OH MY LORD, ABBIE, HE IS SO FUCKING FIT! <3 ;)

Abigail: So what are ya gonna do then, Rae?

Rae: I have no fucking clue! That’s why I wanted to text you two…

Rae noticed the three dots appear that indicated that someone was typing and tried to keep calm as she waited to see what advice her best friends had for her.

Chloe: Don’t take this personally Rae, but are you sure you’re not reading into the situation too much? I mean this guy you’ve been talking to and sit next to at work sometimes happens to be single. That doesn’t really seem like flirting to me Rae…

Ugh, typical fucking Chloe…

Rae: Chlo…you had to have been there. I didn’t think he would ever be flirting with me either, but a number of my coworkers think that he’s been flirting with me constantly for the last couple weeks.

Rae: And there’s been a few times where I’ve caught him checking me out when he thinks I won’t notice!!!

Rae: And sometimes he’ll touch my hand or my nose or just touch me in general and I can feel a literal spark between us…AND I THINK HE MIGHT FEEL THE SPARK SOMETIMES TOO!!!!!

Rae was typing faster than she could think at this point and was sending a series of short texts instead of one coherent message, but she was too caught up in the moment to care how annoying she normally found it when her friends did the same thing.

Chloe: Well are you sure he isn’t just being friendly? Some guys are just flirty and tactile in nature, but they don’t really mean anything by it, you know? Maybe he’s like that with all the girls you work with, you just haven’t been paying attention.

Rae had gone into this conversation overjoyed and hoping to have two of her closest mates from before Uni give her the push she needed to make a move with Finn, but even with Abigail’s support, what Chloe had said planted the seed of doubt within Rae’s head and she could not help but second-guess every interaction and conversation she has had with Finn since the first time he spoke to her nearly a month ago.

Rae had been in the Secret Garden much longer than she realized when she happened to glance at the time at the top of her cellphone screen and noticed that her last class of the day had already started. Seeing no point in attending class if she was going to be late anyway, Rae gathered her belongings and left the garden, locking the door again behind her and started the hour long walk back to her apartment from her Uni campus.

When Rae walked into her apartment, the sun had already gone down and she knew that it was beginning to get late. Having not eaten all day, Rae went to the kitchen to determine what she could cook herself to eat before getting started on homework; however, after being unimpressed by any prospective meals she could cook, she decided against cooking.

Ugh…fuck it..I need to relax a bit anyways

Rae grabbed the nearly full bottle of white wine she had in the refrigerator, forgoing the glass, and headed to her room to begin working on some of her homework assignments.

When Rae was satisfied with the progress she had made on all of her assignments, she opted to redirect her attention to binge watching shows on Netflix. Despite her efforts to get her mind off of the events of today, she still found herself unsure about where she stood with Finn and her mind was full of unanswered questions that were inescapable and had not been quieted by the wine she had been sipping up to this point.

What would even give me the idea that Finn could like me? Chloe is probably right, Finn acts like this with all our female coworkers, huh?

Have I ever seen him talk to other girls at work? Maybe once or twice, but mainly just me and Izzie, and he certainly treats me differently than her…

But why would he be acting so friendly to me out of no where? And why are Archie and Izzie convinced that there could be something between Finn and I?

Why would Finn ever settle for me when he can have anyone he wanted?

Is Finn just taking the piss? Is this just the most well-played prank in the history of the world?

Why would Finn do this to me if we were becoming friends? Or was that all part of his plan too?

But what about all the stolen glances and the banter Finn and I have? Archie is right, that can’t possibly just be a thing between friends and it seems too real to be made up, right? And why would Finn have spent an entire shift at work checking me out and starting at my boobs if he wasn’t interested in me?

Or is he just interested in me to check “shagged a fat girl” off his bucket list? Or even worse, does he realize how much I fancy him and he’s just being nice to me out of pity?

I didn’t even really like him like that until after he started sitting with Izz and I more regularly, so that couldn’t be the reason why, could it?

Rae’s mind kept racing and she kept drinking the wine straight from the bottle, in what seemed to be an attempt to find the answers to all these questions and everything else plaguing her mind at the bottom of the bottle.

Before long, Rae tilted her head back, willing the final drops of wine to fall from the bottle.

Wine is so fucking gross…

Rae tried to stand up from her desk chair to take the now empty wine bottle into the kitchen, suddenly becoming aware of how much the wine was taking effect when everything in her line of sight began to soften around the edges and blur slightly. Standing on shakey legs, Rae slowly walked to her kitchen and added the wine cork to her small collection and put the bottle in the recycling bin.

Rae walked into her bedroom just as the beginning notes to Fade Into You by Mazzy Star flowed through the Bluetooth speakers playing music from her Spotify playlist and she soon found herself swaying gently to the music with her heavy eyes barely remaining open.

The next song that came on the playlist that was set to shuffle was Roads by Portishead, and while Rae continued to sway and swivel her hips to the beat of the music, she soon realized that there were silent tears running down her face.

I’m dancing and I’m crying…Shit! I forgot that wine makes me an emotional drunk…as if I needed to be any more emotional after the long day I’ve had.

***

The next morning Rae awoke feeling like shit and likely looking just as bad, but she leapt out of bed when she looked at the alarm clock on her bedside table and realized that she had slept through her alarm and would likely be late for work.

Shit shit FUCK shit shit…no more sudden movements, Rae!

Her head was pounding and she suddenly remembered exactly why she had promised herself that she would not drink alone anymore, but for the first time in over half a day, Finn was not on her mind.

She took a quick shower in the coldest water she could handle, trying to wake herself up and sober up a bit, before throwing on a pair of denim skinny jeans, a black and white band tee, and her favorite black high top converse and rushing out the door of her apartment.

She made the 15 minute walk to work in just less than half that time and was flushed when she walked into the office, scanned her badge at the machine on the wall, and took the open seat next to Izzie.

She sighed a breath of relief, since she was only 5 minutes late to work, as she logged into her computer and Izzie greeted her; however, she soon noticed that the person she had become accustomed to sitting next to for over two weeks now was not in his usual spot at her side.

Where is Finn? Oh shit…he knows…I don’t know what exactly it is that he knows, but I’m sure he knows.

“Rae? Are ya alright? You don’t look so good…” Izzie asked, the concern evident in her voice as she gently laid her hand on top of Rae’s where it sat on the desk beside her computer keyboard.

“I’m ok Izz, thanks…I just had a lot on my mind last night and I tried to quiet my mind with some wine…well, a lot of wine, actually…” Rae grimaced, faintly remembering the taste and dull burn of the wine that she had quickly become numb to by the time she finished the bottle.

“Rae, you know better than that,” Izzie began with the tone of a mother who was disappointed in the actions of her unruly child, but her tone and facial features softened almost immediately, “do ya need anything for your head? Or some coffee or tea?”

Tea and coffee sounded tempting to Rae, but she knew that getting some food into her system to help absorb the alcohol should be her top priority.

“No, my head is fine, thanks. I’ll be okay, I just finished off the entire bottle of wine I was drinking last night and I hadn’t eaten anything all day, so I just have a bottle of wine rotting away in my belly with no food to help soak it all up.” Rae chuckled slightly when Izzie’s eyebrows raised in surprise at her statements.

“You need to be more careful, girl! We can’t have you being reckless like that and feeling like shit at work, now can we?” Finn said as Rae turned a little too quickly in her desk chair to realize that he was sitting on the opposite side of the aisle of desks next to Hannah and he had been eavesdropping on Rae’s conversation with Izzie that whole time.

He gave her a genuine smile, but she could just barely make out the concern in his eyes when he looked her over briefly.

“Yeah…none of this was really planned out, but I’ll try to be more careful, Finn.”

“That’s all I’m asking of ya, Mae!” He replied before turning around in his chair to face his computer screen again and get back to work.

Rae made it through her shift at work—but not without some difficulty—and as her and Izzie were walking back to their apartments after work together Rae cleared her throat and asked the question that had been on her mind all day.

“So Izz, do you know why Finn wasn’t sitting near us today?”

“Uh, no, I don’t actually…I just walked in and saw him sitting next to Hannah when I got into work…how odd.” Izzie shrugged and changed topic of conversation to one of her particularly difficult customers she had been contacted by; however, Rae found herself perplexed by Finn’s unexplained change of seating for the second time in less than a month.

@eveerez @tinakegg @hey1tskat1e @bitchesbecrazy89 @kneekeyta @milllott @protectfinnnelson @arathewallflower @jackiewalsh2013 @pink-royaute @i-dream-of-emus 

Wanna be added to the tag list? Let me know and I’ll be happy to help ya out!

[bluebeirry]

This is dedicated to Suzume42, whose works got me into this pairing and filled a prompt I sent. I didn’t manage to write out a fic, so I just wrote out some outlines of how I think this pairing might have gone down. Slight warning for lime, mental illness not being properly treated, some slut-shaming, and bad parenting from Paragus and Vegeta. Non-explicit.

So I came up with a Broly/Trunks AU where Broly kinda has his abridged personality (though the others are cannon, and the slaves are given the name “Shamoshans”). Except slight expansion on his past, complete changing of Bardock’s origins, and my own half-assed attempt at trying to justify the “crying baby” backstory. And I am of the opinion that the reason future!Trunks had such trouble entering SSJ form when present!Trunks discovered it by accident is because tailed Saiyans fuel SSJ with rage, but tail-less Saiyans do not. Basically Gohan teaching Trunks SSJ form was the equivalent of a right-handed teacher trying to teach a left-handed student how to write. Also my strange opinions on Saiyan mating habits.

So the party spends a night on the planet. Reason: the stupid comet is too big and if Vegeta had wanted to look out the window on the way over he’d have easily seen it & fucked up everything. Since Paragus knew nothing about Vegeta as a person except a) he’s Vegeta Sr,’s son, b) he used to work for Freeza, and c) he lives on Earth now; Paragus knows nothing of Vegeta’s personality and couldn’t take the risk of him wanting to be in the command center of the ship (with all it’s nice windows and scanner equipment) and chose to wait another day. Gohan, Krillin and Trunks spent the day exploring the planet and came home late; by the time they returned they’d missed dinner and raided the kitchens instead.

Unfortunately, the Shamoshans? Aren’t so willing to trust people who look in every way like the (monsters) beings who rule over them- especially since two (and then three) admit to being Saiyans. Even if they saved them, the Shamoshans don’t know if they’re honest or if they orchestrated this entire thing with the guards in order to manipulate them into speaking the truth, especially since no guards were killed or even crippled. From the Shamoshan’s POV’s and cultural understanding of war, this means their “rescuers” are on the guards sides- and ergo not to be trusted. Merely respected and sucked up to and told what (the Shamoshans think) they want to hear. So on that first night, Trunks is kind of still poking around the castle, having done most of his earlier exploring outside it. Broly was in the room when a servant reported to Paragus that the other guests had returned late, but as soon as Goku came up Paragus kicked Broly out so he could talk about him in private. Not sure what to do, Broly figured that their guests were probably hungry- especially the Saiyans. He’s not sure how much non-Saiyans eat but from experience can guess that non-Saiyans probably won’t become immobile if they don’t eat for twelve hours, so chooses to send some food to Gohan’s room and Trunks’ room- y’know, the small one and the cute one. Trunks, meanwhile, is caught off guard when a random servant shows up with a cart full of food while he’s literally picking apart the room (hey he’s Bulma’s son- he can do some “science-y analyzing stuff”). And is reminded by the food that there’s someone else there who might know something.

So Trunks tracks down Broly at a nearby lake; Broly explains that he likes lakes. They’re nice and peaceful and nobody’s around them (usually, since most sapient aquatic species prefer rivers and oceans), so it’s a good place to practice doing “that thing he can do that his dad can’t where his hair changes color and he feels a lot stronger and faster and confident.” Getting back on topic, Trunks asks Broly about the Shamoshans and the planet. Broly doesn’t know much about them; his father handles most of that. He also doesn’t know how Paragus found this planet, why he chose it, how they got the Shamoshans there, or where the Legendary Super Saiyan is- though when Trunks mentions never having heard of them Broly is surprised, then wonders if the LSSJ seems to be following him and Paragus; wherever they go reports of the LSSJ aren’t far behind.

Trunks starts to ponder this, and Broly in turn asks if he can ask him a question: if he knows why his father kept those servants since they don’t seem very strong. By “servants” Broly meant Oolong, Krillin, and Roshi; he assumed from the smell that Gohan is either Trunks’ little brother or else Vegeta’s ward. Trunks figures out that Broly assumes non-Saiyans to be inferiors and servants; Broly is confused by the assumption that they’re not. Except for the Galactic Patrol- but he hasn’t really seen those guys since they left their original galaxy- he’s only known his father and various servants and underlings. Well, not his underlings- they answer to his father, but he can command them. He assumed it was the same with Trunks. Trunks in turn explains that they’re his friends- and again Broly is confused, he’s heard that word used by non-Saiyans in relation to each other but he’s not sure what it means. By this point Trunks is thinking that this guy might be somewhat amoral, but that seems to be mostly his upbringing; so he describes “friends” as someone who’s your equal and who you enjoy spending time with. That, Broly can understand; he sometimes enjoys spending time with his father, but his dad is the superior officer there. But… wouldn’t that make Gohan Trunks’ friend and not the others? Trunks then tries to ask what makes someone “equal”- is it strength? Broly admits that no it isn’t, because Broly can do that hair-changing thing and his father can’t, he’s stronger than his father. His father is older than him, though, especially when you factor in the years Broly spent in Cryosleep when his father woke up.

This piques Trunks’ interest, and he learns that inter-galactic travel is far more recent than he’d thought- the technology to jump galaxies in hours was only developed in the last year or so, and even then the ship they used to get there was cutting edge technology. When Broly and Paragus first came to this galaxy years ago, it took almost a full decade to get there; they and all the other passengers were put into cryosleep to make the journey go by quicker. But Paragus was woken up after only a year of sleep, because the ship lost its best fighter and ran into an unexpected band of Wraiths (Wait what-), they needed someone strong enough to fight off the Wraiths for them and with enough strategic, logistical and tactical knowledge to keep them alive. So even though he’s technically 30, he’s only got about 21 years of memories and physical growth behind him. Ergo he’s still a child and his father is his superior. Trunks thinks that’s a little foolish to call him a “child;” he can fight after all, and besides which Paragus should still include him in his work to show him how he runs things. After all, he won’t learn how to do the things Paragus does if nobody shows him how.  

(Wait, wraiths? Oh yeah, big carnivorous space whale-penguins with a hive mind that like eating people’s souls. “…You’re going to have to tell me more about them later,” says Trunks.)

Broly would like to point out that his father does try to include him in planning; but he always gets confused and either keeps interrupting to ask “silly” questions, or he gets bored and stops paying attention. Besides which, he doesn’t really fight all that much. Which is not to say he doesn’t know how, just that he’s… not very well controlled. He kind of… blacks out when he’s in danger and goes into a Berserker Rage, which he can’t really control; once when he was like that, he gave Paragus that eye-scar. Trunks compares it to Super Saiyan form- no, not like the Legendary Super Saiyan, more like a toned-down version that any Saiyan can access- shouldn’t Broly know that? He was doing it earlier.

Thus Broly learns that “that thing he can do that his dad can’t where his hair changes color and he feels a lot stronger and faster and confident” isn’t just something cool that got his father really excited when he first did it. Trunks can do the same- and Trunks can and does prove it. And then Trunks invites him to show his own form- so he does. And it’s kind of… nice to have someone else who understands it.

So the two of them get talking about their forms. Broly explains that his father used to get scared and angry at him a lot, because he was narcoleptic. (Or at least that’s what he assumes- he used to black out a lot and wake up in new places. Still does, sometimes, but now it doesn’t happen as often or in inconvenient places or times.) So his father took him to see a lot of holy people- monks, nuns, gurus, priests and priestesses and shamans and people like that. They’d work with him on meditation, on getting control from the inside, and after a lot of practice he learned how to access “that thing he can-” er, SSJ form. Which basically took finding anger where it was hidden away and accepting it, even without knowing it’s cause (or how to kill the cause), and letting it be replaced by other emotions- positive ones. And Broly talks about the teachers he’s had, the stories they told him, the lessons they gave, and the problems they had that sometimes he could help them with (he liked that, it felt good to know that someone he cared about was doing better because of him). (It tells Trunks something important about this person- he’s not dumb. He’s not a child. He’s just… sheltered.) Trunks in turn explains how SSJ form was a huge part of his past and it took him so damn long to find in himself the rage needed to create it. Broly is silent when he hears about how Trunks grew up in a dying world and so helpless on a personal level- he’s never experienced something so horrible himself and he doesn’t know what he could possibly say in response that wouldn’t sound like pity or dismissing his experiences. Trunks asks if Broly can maybe show or explain how to use SSJ form without the rage; it’s something he didn’t think was possible, but the hardest part for him has always been keeping that rage going- usually it just burns out. Broly’s not sure he can, but he agrees to try.

They spend a few hours flying around that pond, mostly playing around with a little bit of instruction going on, and soon leaving the pond to explore more of the world- there’s a lot of forests and wilderness alongside the rubble, and the unoccupied deserts have some real beauty. Until eventually, finally, Trunks drops out of SSJ form while in the middle of it- and pretty high up, giving Broly a bit of a scare- only to push back in at the last minute, laughing and smiling. He’d never gone SSJ like this before- with the delight of the challenge, the thrill of the flight fueling it. Gohan had always said to be angry, use the pain- he’d only ever seen his own powers as weapons, not something so, so, fun. Not something good, or nice, or- (“Beautiful,” Broly whispered.) (Then he blushed and tried to backtrack.) (“Broly,” he said so softly yet strong, confident, with moonlight shining in his hair, “Thank you.”)

And the moment is just so right, and nobody’s talked to him like this since that one nun who died while Broly was asleep from one of his blackouts, and he’s neve met anyone who felt like a real equal, like a real person only with compassion and a new sort of affection he’s never felt before, and it just seems so right. So Broly asks Trunks if he wants to spar. (He’s never asked this before, and it’s so strange to say and to feel the words on his own lips. Gah, too forward!) And Trunks agrees. And they fight- first in their base forms, but that’s fine because they’re pretty well matched (one is stronger but the other faster, one has more organized training and the other more experience [even if it was almost always against the same two enemies] [even if they’re wrong about who has more experience, but only one of them can remember all of his battles]), as near as Broly can tell. And it’s… good. To have something like this, to have someone else challenge your skills and your strength and make you feel alive and strong while still being so alive and strong. He wants to share that- he wants Trunks to know how he feels and wants Trunks to feel the same way. (Unknown to Broly, Trunks is feeling something very similar.) So when they’re grappling, and Broly had Trunks pinned but he managed to flip them, Broly kisses him. And he kisses back. And they sort of keep going from there- both the spar and the kissing, which just feels so right. Because every bit of pain is a reminder of how strong (and ergo beautiful) the other one is, and furthermore it feels good, at least once they get going. So being scratched and hit and bitten is wonderful, and they both want to share that so they scratch and it and bite the other so that they can see how it makes their partner smile. And soon, they’ve gone all the way. Until they’re united in body, and Trunks starts to feel that feeling of joy in being strong, because Broly is making him feel strong, and he powers up in this newer, better way with that joy and delight motivating him. And to Broly, it’s like being closer to anyone than he’s been in years in ways he’s never felt close to anyone before (not even with that one prostitute he got for his birthday a few years ago- that was just awkward and messy), and seeing Trunks ascend reminds him of one more way he’s not alone. Because somewhere in the back of his mind, behind the repression and damage, he knows what it means for him to be able to transform, and he knows it sets him apart from the rest of the universe in ways nothing else will. And at this moment, when giving in to instinct, it’s waking up all of him- both halves are coherent for just this one time, and he knows full well that Trunks cannot truly match him. But even with that knowledge, he can fool himself for just a few moments into thinking that there’s someone else who can truly match him in every way- and he gives himself this luxury, powering up to the same rank Trunks is at.

So they have fun. They end when the first rays of sunlight from the dawn start to crack- except that they’d flown so far they’re in what amounts to a different time zone. Back at the castle there’s still several hours until the night is over. It doesn’t really matter, it was the changing light and the romance of it that stopped them. Probably for the best that they head back now; Trunks points out that for practical reasons, they probably shouldn’t go a whole night without sleeping. Broly kinda quietly mumbles that he’d rather be impractical and spend more time with Trunks. Trunks blushes a little- which worries Broly, but he’s assured that it’s good blush. Trunks jokes that he feels a little bit like a cradle robber, since Broly’s so sheltered.

“’M not that sheltered- I know things.” “Yeah? Like what?” “Well, I know how to…” [Meanwhile, his brain cannot stop focusing on how Good Trunks looks with those hickeys] “… do stuff. Lots of stuff.” “Such as?” “You.” “…” [One Super Saiyan is instantly worrying if that was too crude or too forward, until-] “Well, I walked right into that one.” “Y-yeah, yeah you did.” “…” [‘Okay, Trunks, now you have to decide- do you really want to do this? You could just go home now and pretend this never happened. Or you could…’] “What, else do you know?” “Um…” “Or, what specifically do you know? About, me?” [‘Think brain! Right now all I can come up with is very, very literal stuff that I only just learned- unless that’s what he wants? For me to be more forward?’] “Well… I know that you’re sensitive behind your ears.” “Oh?” “And, I know that if I kiss you, like this-” “Hoo!” “you make a little noise just like that. I know that… I like that noise. I like it a lot. But… I like the noise you make when I do this-” “Uh!” “-even better.” “Hey- you wanna know what I know?” “Huh? I mean yes- yes please.”

Alternatively, the two just lie there for a while and talk about it. Which is just as nice as the other option, just in a different way.

Either way, they didn’t head back until the entire sun was in the sky. And when they did return had to stop for food- and a bath. They broke apart here, since it was late and was probably a better idea to go alone and actually get what they set out to do done (Broly’s idea).

So the next morning, when Broly doesn’t show up to leave with Vegeta on time and the servants report he didn’t eat breakfast, Paragus has to bluff to Vegeta that Broly must be sick or something (as Vegeta is cranky and ready to go and will take any excuse to leave this dump behind if it’s given to him). Vegeta in fact decides to collect his own offspring to come with him instead, or better yet get “Kakarot” to teleport them home.

Paragus, unable to stop Vegeta without breaking the ruse, quickly goes to wake Broly, and is at first furious that the boy was still asleep, then confused why Broly is wrapped in a blanket like a cape or a toga. Meanwhile Vegeta is also mildly disappointed that his offspring wasn’t already ready to go, and then confused why he’s curled up and holding his jacket around him. Paragus insists the blanket is unnecessary and yanks it away, just around the same time Vegeta grabs Trunks’ arm and sees that the jacket is actually ripped. Goku, Gohan, Krillin, Oolong and Roshi choose then to show up. (Goku says, “Hey Vegeta, are we going or what because Iiiiye holy-” Gohan says, “Trunks are you okay? You look like you got in a fight.” Krillin says, “Huh- I didn’t think I saw any ladies around here. Guess I was wrong.”)

Vegeta is like “you know what, fuck it, I don’t care if you screwed a hundred strangers last night. Just make sure it doesn’t interfere with your ability to function. If someone like Cell, or this stupid Legendary Super Saiyan were to come in and attack while you were asleep and you made it easy for them to kill you because whoever spread your legs wore you out to the point where you couldn’t wake up- then we’ll have a problem. We’re leaving in ten minutes, get your shit together and meet us there or beg Kakarot to come back for you later, I don’t care.”

Paragus is much more anxious and freaking out- it’s one way in which he doesn’t have control over his ultimate weapon. And he didn’t see this coming, so that means that either he didn’t understand Broly as well as he thought he did, or something big came along that changed things outside his predictions (though Paragus doesn’t know it, both are true). Oh, and Vegeta’s about to leave too early.

So when Paragus and Vegeta cross paths near the ship, it’s a bit embarrassing for everyone involved who isn’t named Gohan. Broly and Trunks both have new outfits out of nowhere. Broly got his from various clothing items the staff and soldiers could provide; it covers everything but doesn’t fit well. Trunks is wearing Roshi’s (still somewhat smelly) shirt, and Krillin’s belt. Nobody wants to talk, so Vegeta tries to just go “See ya,” which reminds Paragus why exactly they were there and drives them all back into the plot.

This is where things get complicated.

After some time of arguing, Vegeta makes a nasty insult, Paragus looses his patience and decides to fuck the plan- time to break out the ace. He then chuckles and brags cryptically about how Vegeta played right into his hands. It was hard going, and Vegeta almost “won,” but in the end Paragus will get what he wants. (Trunks looks over to Broly, who just shrugs- he didn’t ask questions about why they came here in the first place.) Paragus claims he has the ultimate weapon (“And despite (Vegeta’s) attempts to send (his) spawn- if that is (Vegeta’s) offspring and not just a hired whore- to seduce him, that power will remain in (Paragus’) hands.”). And Paragus uses it by activating the crown to initiate Broly’s split-personality takeover, and get him to kill Vegeta. (He’s not focused on Earth, but he can’t stand the thought of someone else ruling his empire- and he knows if he wants Saiyan rule, he can’t exactly uphold Saiyan glory if they all die out soon. If the prince is alive, he outranks Paragus, and thus any other Saiyans he discovers would just follow Vegeta around, not him. First he has to kill Vegeta- then he can go looking for survivors.)

They all start fighting, but something is off. Though Trunks isn’t holding back- he understands the concept of mind-control and knows the dangers- the change comes from Goku and Gohan. In that whenever Goku or Gohan shout in battle, Broly flinches and gets angrier, fiercer, stronger. Until eventually the crown breaks- and he’s still in a blood-rage.

When the crown breaks, Trunks is the one who tries reason. It helps that Broly seems to be solely focused on Goku and Gohan, ignoring everyone else and swatting them out of the way like flies. Trunks shouts at Broly to stop, there’s nobody making him do this anymore, what’s going on. Broly in return does talk- about death. Describing death, or rather several deaths, as though he’s experienced them. Then he hits Gohan- and outright says “Now, it’s a daughter, watching the corpse of her parent as she bleeds out, blood filling her lungs, making it harder and harder to breathe, she’s-”

And Broly keeps talking, but Trunks realizes that this isn’t a fantasy- somehow Broly is experiencing another person’s death, every time Gohan and Goku raise their voices (and then Broly stops talking and goes back to beating up everything in sight). But… the way he said it seems like there’s about one vision per yell. And he was rambling a lot, but describing more deaths than Gohan and Goku could have given him in this short time they’ve known him. He tells the others his theory, saying that maybe if they stop yelling they can calm him down (which as Goku points out isn’t easy when he’s beating them up).

As the fight goes on Trunks and Piccolo wind up grouped up at one point and making a plan together. Trunks remembers some of the advice Broly said his teachers had given them and, with Piccolo’s input, they realize in hindsight that those teachers were trying to help him recover from some early trauma. Something repressed in his memories, something he usually can’t remember until he snaps like this; and then they re-enter the fight. They start spreading this guess to the others when they can, and Piccolo informs Vegeta of this while Paragus is still there. Only now does Paragus learn that Goku’s scream has this influence on Broly, and only now does he make the connection- remembering that he saw Goku’s cradle next to Broly’s years ago. He knew there was some trauma that caused this split personality- Saiyans can remember infancy, some even recalling their own births. But he always assumed it was the attempted murder that made Broly so uncontrollable. But now…

(And Vegeta remembers, but doesn’t feel the need to say, that according to the few files he could find on the loss of his planet, that Bardock was reported to have gone mad a few weeks before the loss of the planet- trying to tell everyone that their planet was doomed. At first he thought it was just bitter irony, but now he wonders if he had seen something. If the blood of a seer could carry the genetic potential to one day have a child who is a seer; and if a being whose power is the very epitome of all Saiyan power might be affected by the power of another Saiyan, if that power was unusual enough.)

(At the time, nobody but Broly recognizes or remembers that Kakarot wouldn’t stop crying. He’s a bit too distracted by the [3 hours = 3 x 60 = 180 min, 180 min x 60 sec = 10800 sec. Lets say an average of 15 seconds per death if we assume that a new vision begins as soon as the last one ends if he’s still screaming and/or screaming again when the vision ends, so 10800 / 15 = 720 deaths] ~720 deaths being replayed over and over, fuzzy from time but still there, plus the new ones from today.)

“Why didn’t he try to kill Kakarot, then?” “It’s been 30 years- in that time, your voice changes, your appearance changes, your scent changes, everything but your hair, and let’s be honest- there was quite a few third-class Saiyans with hair like that.”

So. The battle. It goes as it goes. Not much of a choice. They make it out, barely, and everyone’s trapped in a tiny pod. Meanwhile, there’s a guy who wakes up, dizzy and confused, figuring he fell asleep, and everything around him is about to burn up and he can’t really breathe- he needs to get the fuck out of here ASAP.

[the-apocryphal-one]

I binged all of the anime because I got a fourteen day free trial for it and if I start slacking on watching something I never finish it because I get distracted easily and don’t want to get charged.  I’m a cheapskate.  So yeah, I didn’t take it in small chunks like I probably should have.  

BUT ANYWAY, it forced me to watch Chiaki die again.  Except this time it’s worse!  And then we see her wondering what happened to her video game buddy as she’s rapidly bleeding out on the floor and he’s unsympathetically staring at her.  THAT’S ALWAYS FUN.

From what I can tell, the anime’s kind of controversial with fans, and I can definitely see why.  The brainwashing thing was cheap.  I don’t actually dislike the idea, but it was made far too potent an it should have been.  Junko could have used a combination of brainwashing and pushed them over the edge with her own ideological indoctrination.  

But one really big issue I had with it and don’t want to give a pass, was it made the ending of the second game almost completely pointless.  There was always a threat of every character (barring the player character) around you dying, regardless of who they are, or how helpful to the plot they may or may not be.  With the last episode, they just toss that out the window and go “Everyone’s alive!  Don’t ask us to explain it.”  The second game’s cast surviving still retaining their old personalities and memories through pure force of will?  Okay, fine, I’ll take it.  It’s not too out there and it gives us more closure.  Like you said, it’s cheesy, but I’ll take it.  It doesn’t really take away too much from the ending of the game.  But the anime just revives everyone?  SERIOUSLY??  And not only that, they killed off Kyoko just to bring her back to life?  Why?  What was the point of that at all?  I remember how Monokuma and Makoto in the first game keep saying how it wasn’t like some manga or anime, and once someone was dead, they stayed dead, and everyone had to deal with it.  Oh, the irony!   Death isn’t treated at all like it was in the games and considering how much of a big part it played in them, that’s kind of a big deal.  I’m all for happy, even if at least somewhat unrealistic, endings and usually don’t get as upset over “Disney endings” as other people, but even I have limits on how much I’m willing to roll with.  I can see people arguing with “they deserved a happy ending,” and I won’t deny that at all, but this was a little too much for me.  I can understand why people like it but it’s just too happy for me.  With any media as dark and grisly as DR3, I don’t like happy endings like that too much.  And then they didn’t even bring back Chiaki?  Come on, if you’re going to bring everyone back to life, why leave out Chiaki?  Oh well.  At least we have Ibuki.  I’m still going to pretend it didn’t happen.

For the things I liked, though…

Izuru Kamukura was really cool, and the writers did a good job of writing him.  He unironically said “memes” so that automatically makes him more likable. I’m aware of the actual meaning of the word, but considering how memes are the language of the internet, there’s no doubt the fanbase got a kick out of it.  I wish we saw more of him.  And I wish we got to see Hajime/Izuru more in the Future arc.  That would have been really nice.  I’d like to have seen the weird fusion of the personalities between Hajime and Izuru.  But how did his hair grow so long suddenly?  Was one of the things they did to him make his hair grow out?  And how did they make him lucky?  That’s some technology they’ve got if they can make you arguably luckier than Nagito through surgery.  But yeah, seeing Izuru was amazing.  All things considered, it makes a lot of sense why he’d be so bored and apathetic about everything.  Izuru’s great.

I like the “game” in the Future arc and the idea of the forbidden moves.  That was a really neat idea.  Kyoko’s forbidden move was pretty dumb because of how pointless it was, but the idea of it was really neat.  I wish Makoto & company wasn’t thrown into another killing game again, but they did something a little different than that so it wasn’t as boring as it very easily could have been.  I’m really glad that you told me to watch the two arcs at the same time because the color palette and overall tone is way too dark to sit through twelve episodes of.

I’m pretty split on the Despair arc.  I liked it starting out but when mind control started becoming such an important part of the plot, it started going downhill.  Like I said, I don’t think the idea of brainwashing needs to be taken out completely, just nerfed.  It would help Junko manipulate so many people to her side so quickly but wouldn’t be able to control their minds.  I thought brainwashing in DR2 seemed to be used interchangeably with “indoctrinating” but it can be used in this context too.  Being able to control people’s minds seems to not mesh too well with what Junko said on how she was able to convert people.  I went back and watched a few snippets of the sixth trial and while nothing too explicit, they don’t exactly seem to be implying the same thing.  There is one thing that blatantly contradicts the second game–in DR3, Junko is able to recruit Izuru by just taking advantage of his boredom, but in the second game, she says that she, quote, “broke his spirit.”  There’s no reason Junko would lie about that.  When she lies for kicks like that, she immediately confesses once she gets the reaction she wants.  You could stretch it but ehhhh.  I’d talk about a few other things that could have been taken advantage of, but the mind control brainwashing was one of the worst parts of the entire series for me.

On the other hand, the Despair arc added to Hajime’s character and added even more to his relationship with Chiaki.  I liked it a lot, and seeing them play video games with each other was sweet.  It was even sweeter when she hung outside of the reserve students’ part of the school waiting for him.  You’d think Hajime would have told her he wouldn’t be around anymore.  

I don’t have very much to say on the new characters.  I feel like I should have cared about them more, but they didn’t do much for him.  Yukizome was fine and had some nice moments with her students but that’s about it.  The “mastermind”’s idea was so dumb, it actually took me a while to figure out what was going on.  The only characters whose arc did something for me was Ruruka and Seika.  I think Sakakura being in love it Munakata was supposed to be a plot twist?  It was so obvious it’s hard to tell.  Oh, and Mitarai exists.  I cannot name one character trait he has because I forgot about him.

I know why they couldn’t, and why they didn’t, but DR3 should have focused on the pre-existing cast.  All of the characters are already set up.  Introductions were minimal, and people are familiar with them.  Newcomers would already be mostly lost (and from the reviews, they certainly were), so why not go all out?  Better completely lose everyone not familiar with the series than give us new characters who have to have their arcs go through so quickly.  So many new characters in just 24 episodes was way too much for me to remember.  Or care about them.  Or at least for me.  

I promise, I enjoyed the anime and I want to re-watch it in the English dub before my Funimation free trial expires since it’s apparently an official abridged kind of thing and Kyoko’s final line was an outtake.  That is way too funny to pass up.  There were a few big problems (there’s probably more but the mind control and the overly happy ending were the biggest ones for me) but it didn’t nearly destroy it for me.  I think the set up for the tragedy at Hope’s Peak pretty well.  The actual slaughter was a little bit rushed, but it was still good.  And gory, but it worked.  Izuru blankly watching everything go down just to get some kind of entertainment was…yeah.  It pretty much tells you all you need to know about him.  It makes perfect sense why Junko would lie about the Hope’s Peak Tragedy, and it certainly makes more sense for such an apathetic person not to do something like that.  When the explanation behind it was first presented to us, I thought Izuru just lost his mind just because he was nothing.  He was built to be nothing but a figurehead with a bunch of talents and he got sick of it.  I’m completely fine with the different explanation given to us.  I want to talk about what other stuff I like about it, but I just plain enjoyed it, and want to re-watch it soon.  After I watch the anime of the first game, of course.

I could complain about it some more but I don’t really feel like saying so many negative things about something I liked. XD

Glad you enjoyed the anime! I did too! And yeah, it is pretty divisive among the fandom, but don’t let haters ruin it for you and vice-versa. If you liked it, you liked it.

Yes how could they watching Chiaki die again sucked. And in such an awful way too. At least we got to see Izuru cry a little but that’s like the only happy part of it. That and the fact he didn’t kill her (like I and everyone else thought). Cinnamon roll did not deserve that :(

I’m actually kind of okay with the brainwashing thing? I do think it could have been done better, but we only have Junko’s word that she’s charismatic enough to turn people into a terrorist cult, and the class was so unified at that point she couldn’t have converted them one by one (look how fast they noticed Mikan was missing). Even Izuru didn’t buy that “despair = wonderful!” shtick and only hung around because he was bored. I think a mix would have worked better–like Mikan and Nagito are so unstable I can see Junko being able to push them over the edge, but people like Ibuki and Nekomaru? They’d probably have needed some kind of mind control.

They kiiiiiiiind of explain it with Hajizuru using his Ultimate Everything to bring everyone back and undo the brainwashing. As for Kyoko: @hopeymchope​​ actually wrote a post explaining that Kyoko’s fake-out death was meant to serve as a parallel to Chapter 5 of the first game. Rather than sacrificing Makoto to save herself, she sacrifices herself to save Makoto, and that showcases her development. And in that vein, yeah, I see why they did it. I just wish they hadn’t included so many other fake-out deaths, or that they hadn’t done it in the first place since they wrote themselves into a corner.

(I am right with you in the throes of saltiness that they didn’t bring Chiaki back. So salty I’m writing a fic that does hello shameless self-plugging)

The fanbase went nuts when he first said “memes”. There were memes about him saying memes (speaking of, that scene is even funnier in the English version). But yes, Izuru Kamukura ended up being one of the best parts of the anime. He was written really well and got some good character development. It shot him right up to one of my favorite characters. Not bad for a guy who got maybe five minutes of screentime in his source game.

Yeah, I also wish we got to see more of “fused” Hajime + Izuru. The little we did see was really cool.

Nobody knows how his hair got so long so fast. It just…exploded out of his skull. It is one of the unanswered mysteries of DR (along with how it always looks like it’s in a shampoo commercial. Seriously, those locks have volume). Ditto for how you magically implant luck into someone.

Monokuma Hunter was a neat game. I remember when the anime was still running, people had a lot of fun guessing the character’s forbidden actions. There were also some funny jokes about them (like Kiyotaka being the mastermind because Makoto couldn’t run in the hall). I think I like Future Arc less than Despair Arc simply because they don’t let you get attached enough to the newcomers, or else make it really obvious when they’re going to off someone.

I actually buy that Junko was lying (or at least exaggerating) about her abilities and how she swayed everyone in the second game, since her goal was to drive them into despair and possess their bodies. So making things look as bad as possible to further that goal is something I can see her doing. In a different vein, I took Junko’s line about breaking Izuru’s spirit to mean she thought she’d broken his spirit, and never realized he was more interested in watching the hope vs despair conflict than in despair.

Yeeeeeeeeees the Hinanami was so cute, one of the highlights of Despair Arc. And seeing more Hajime was great, especially pre-SDR2 Hajime! There’s an amazingly marked difference between how he acts when he thinks he’s a “nobody” and when he thinks he isn’t, cool to analyze. Hajime actually didn’t know he wouldn’t be returning from the project, so that’s why he didn’t tell Chiaki.

Yeah, a lot of the newer cast didn’t stand out to me. Just about the only ones I liked were Seiko and Koichi. Chisa’s okay at times, and…that’s it. Just wasn’t enough screentime for the others. Ahahaha yeah, Juzo being gay was supposed to be a twist, but half the fanbase had guessed it by then. Ryota is…ugh. Do not like him. And the less said about the mastermind the better.

I think Izuru does have some pent-up resentment over how everyone’s used him (his dialogue in Chapter 0 sounded pretty damn bitter). But I also like the fact they made him a neutral observer rather than snapping, it actually serves to contrast him pretty well with Junko. They’re both geniuses, perpetually bored, and seeking a way out of it–but whereas Junko gets off to despair, Izuru doesn’t. He doesn’t enjoy suffering, while she does, but he also doesn’t care enough to intervene. And while he can see the unpredictability of despair, he finds value and interest in hope too, while Junko just thinks that hope is stagnant. It made him a much deeper and more interesting character compared to the game, where he was more a “shadow” for Hajime.

The anime of the first game is...um...let’s just say it skips over a lot of things. It’s definitely not something I’d buy membership for, but if you’re already using your free trial...

There’s actually not a lot of places you can go from here, once you watch the dubbed DR3. There’s some supplementary material you can read if you want, but that was pretty much the last of the HPA arc. The newest game, NDRV3, did come out, but it hasn’t been released to the West yet–won’t til this September. So again, that’s an entire section of spoilers you need to avoid.

[vilevenom]

Part 3! I won’t lie, I fully expected this to be a short ass fic, but then it sort of spiraled out of my control. Fandom: Mystery Skulls Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 4 Vampire!Arthur

Arthur sighed as he stepped out of the shower, hair dripping on his shoulders. He’d completely forgotten about the bandages on his shoulder in his haste to get under the water and away from the mirror, and now they were soaked through and needed to be changed. Mind, he couldn’t do it himself so he’d only have to pester Lewis and Vivi further than he already had by getting one of them to help him with that, given that the fine motor functions of his prosthetic were still shot. He scowled as he haphazardly pulled his sweat pants back on, turning to glance at himself in the mirror once more. He looked even more bedraggled with his hair drooping around his face and his hospital bandages peeling at the edges were the tape no longer held from moisture. He paused for a moment, though, a sudden thought striking him. Hadn’t the vampire also dug into his sides? The memories were blurry at best, really, but he could vaguely recall the sensation of his stomach being torn into. He took a short step back to get a better view of himself in the mirror, examining his torso to see what damage had been left behind, only to find the barest hints of jagged scarring just below his ribs. Quickly, and mindless of the fact that it wasn’t functioning properly quite yet, Arthur reattached his prosthetic, hissing mildly as the nerves reconnected, before scrambling to peel off the ruined bandages. He gaped as he let them hit the floor with a soft squelching sound, lifting his hand shakily to touch his neck and shoulder, no evidence of his attack being left but a spiderweb of light marks were his skin knit itself back together. Arthur twisted and turned as he stared in the mirror, but if someone didn’t know he had been in the hospital, they never would be able to tell. It was almost as though two nights previous had never even happened. A sudden rapping on the bathroom door startled him out of his shell-shocked staring, causing a slight growl to leave his throat as he jerked away from the sound. He clamped his hand over his mouth directly after the sound left him, a quiet whine leaving him instead. Another, more insistent rap came, followed by Vivi’s voice asking him to come out, making Arthur straighten his spine and clear his throat. “Just a sec,” he called back, shooting one last glance at the mirror, eyeing the nearly completely healed wounds and tiny sparks that jumped from his prosthetic as it twitched slightly at his side. He looked a mess, but it wouldn’t be the first time Vivi saw him out of sorts. He hadn’t really been expecting Vivi, Lewis, and Mystery to be huddled outside the door, though. “Uh...hi,” he said simply, pursing his lips as the three did little but stare at him, “You-you knocked?” “Right! Sorry, Artie, just-your shoulder,” Vivi murmured, gesturing vaguely at his scars. “Yeah, I, I-uhm, was noticing that, too,” Arthur replied, shrugging slightly and shrinking into himself a little, “Did you guys need something? I was going to go work on my arm,” he added, lifting his prosthetic in short, jerky movements. “Sorry for staring, Arthur,” Lewis apologized, looking contrite, “We knew you were healing faster, that was just unexpected.” “You’re telling me,” Arthur snorted, before looking slightly bashful as Mystery nudged at his legs and shooting him a short glare, “Anyway, but really, what’s up?” “Oh! Yes, right,” Vivi suddenly sprung into action, thrusting a rather thick book forward into Arthur’s line of sight, open to a page with a rather graphic depiction of a demon eating a person in black and red ink and a massive sprawl of text next to it, “Mystery found this!” Arthur continued to stare down the book for a moment, his eyes skimming over the tiny text, a light frown on his face. “Uh, can I get the abridged version?” “You’re not a vampire yet,” Lewis stated, tiny smile on his face as both Vivi and Mystery took deep breaths, obviously amping up to bombard Arthur with information. “The vampire that bit you didn’t kill you or feed anything to you, so the turning ritual wasn’t completed.” “Way to steal my thunder, Lewlew,” Vivi pouted, snapping the book closed and tucking it under her arm. “I figured a more concise version would be best,” Lewis chuckled, “But, regardless. We’ve already found a couple tracking spells we can try to find the vampire that bit you. It’s got a couple days on us, but with some supernatural help, we should be able to find it.” “And once we do...?” Arthur asked, absently grabbing at his prosthetic. Nervous habits were hard to kick. “Well,” Mystery stepped in,this time cutting Lewis off, “then it’s simply a matter of a decapitation and a stake through the heart. Contrary to popular culture, any type of stake will do, as long as the heart is pierced.” “Decapitation?” Arthur wheezed, his hand instinctively going to his neck. “It’s the best way to ensure the vampire can’t regenerate while we stake it. I know Buffy makes it seem like it’s really easy to do so, but a sternum is rather difficult to stab. It’s going to take some force,” Mystery stated bluntly. “So, what we’re trying to say, Artie,” Vivi piped up, grinning widely at Arthur, “There’s a cure! So to speak...I know you, and that you’re probably letting your brain go to all sorts of terrible places, so you need to know that none of those things are going to happen. We’re going to track that thing down and kill it, and everything can go back to normal.” Arthur glanced at Lewis, who offered a small smile of encouragement and a nod, before he looked back to Vivi and gave a slow nod. “Okay.” ~ Vivi had made the spell sound a whole lot easier than it really was, given some of the ingredients it required. “Don’t...move,” Arthur gasped, wobbling a little as he was held in the air by Lewis, tiny jar in his hand as he eyed the spider resting obliviously in its web. “I’m trying, Arthur,” Lewis grumbled, doing his best not to shudder at how close they were to the arachnid. In reality it probably would have been ten times easier for him to float up to the corner of the room and capture the spider, rather than him holding Arthur up by the waist so the mechanic could catch it, but even in death he couldn’t stand the tiny eight legged creatures. So, here they were. “Got it!” Arthur suddenly exclaimed, screwing a lid onto the jar with a triumphant, if tiny, smile on his lips. “Good,” Lewis sighed, setting Arthur back on the floor, a slight shudder running through him as he glanced at the spider crawling frantically around the glass bottom of the jar. “Ugh. I don’t know how you can be so nonchalant holding that thing.” Arthur chuckled quietly, ever subdued around Lewis since he came back, “Because. It’s just a spider, Lew. You’re a fire toting ghost. I really don’t know how a tiny little, defenseless spider can still bother you.” To illustrate, he held the jar up and gave it a gentle shake, the spider skittering around to keep its balance. “Hey now, don’t do that,” Lewis admonished, placing a hand over Arthur’s to keep it still so the spider could regain its balance, “it may be gross and about to be part of a spell, but you don’t need to torment it before hand.” That gave Arthur pause, Lewis frowning as he noticed the sudden far away look on Arthur’s face. “Did the spell say it had to be a live spider?” Arthur asked after a moment, staring at Lewis’ large hand covering his own. It took Lewis a second longer to realize why Arthur had stopped and looked so distant, his heart giving a painful beat beneath his jacket. It may have only been a spider, but Lewis knew that Arthur was drawing correlation between himself and the helpless arachnid currently in their possession. Too many times he’d had to run in just before Arthur was used as a prop for some cult’s ritual, or help Vivi cast a spell to free Arthur before anything untoward could happen to him. And then he died, and he couldn’t protect Arthur from that green thing that had taken him away from his friends. And now? Now Arthur was, yet again, in danger of some supernatural thing that had decided he was the best target. He supposed it made sense that Arthur would suddenly feel for the spider that they had intended to kill for their own purposes. “No. I don’t think it did,” Lewis hummed quietly, moving to hoist Arthur back up, even as the blonde began to unscrew the lid he’d only just put on the jar. ~ “Okay, Vivi, we’ve got everything from your list,” Lewis said as he floated into the library, Arthur hot on his proverbial heels, “Well, except the spider is already dead. We had a, uhm...incident in the living room, so, yeah. I hope that works.” Arthur shot him a grateful smile, which he returned easily. “Oh, yeah, that’s fine,” Vivi waved a hand, lighting the last of at least a dozen or two candles around the room, “Just set it all down near the circle.” Lewis nodded as he set everything down near the edge of the rug that covered the floorboards of the library, before moving to lift the ornate rug, revealing a large summoning circle painted below. Inside it were several smaller circles, the largest acting as something of a lock to the others. The smaller circles each had different generic symbols painted into them with spaces left for Vivi to chalk in anything specific she would need for her spell casting, while the largest was repainted every couple of months to ensure that any magic or summoning that happened within was restrained and maintained inside to prevent any ‘accidents’ from happening. Mystery had helped with the construction and design, sighting several amateur circles he’d seen far too easily broken in the past. “Alright!” Vivi chirped, clapping her hands together as she looked over the ingredients Arthur and Lewis had brought, “Everything looks to be in order! The only thing left that we need,” she began boisterously, fading into a quiet, apologetic tone, “Is some of your blood, Artie.” That caused Arthur to stop in the middle of grabbing Vivi’s chalk from a shelf, turning to stare at her with wide eyes. “What?” he squeaked. “Well,” Vivi scuffed her toe lightly against the floor, looking abashed, “You’re connected to that thing now, whether we like it or not. And without anything from the actual vampire, we need something as a tether to let us follow it. I’m afraid the only thing that would allow us to do that would be, uhm, some of your blood.” Noticing how Arthur’s face visibly paled, she quickly waved her hands through the air. “Not much! Just a little bit! Just enough to give the spell the kick it needs.” Arthur swallowed thickly, absently rubbing at his prosthetic as he cast his gaze around the room, chewing on his lower lip. Lewis floated nearby, concern evident on his features. “I-” Arthur began, before swallowing past the lump that had formed in his throat, “Okay.” Vivi smiled encouragingly at Arthur, grabbing a tiny dagger from a shelf. “Okay, great. I’m just going to go give this a good wash, and then we can get started,” she said, hurrying out of the room. Arthur watched her leave, his mechanical arm twitching at his side. He really needed to do some repairs if he was going to be of any use later. “Hey.” Arthur jumped as Lewis spoke next to him, turning startled eyes towards the ghost. Lewis set his feet on the floor, walking over to Arthur to place a reassuring hand on his left shoulder. “You’ll be okay, Arthur. It’s Vivi. And, once your part is over, we can get your something to eat, yeah? I’ll make you something,” Lewis said, letting his hand slide to gently squeeze the back of Arthur’s neck, “Then you can go work on your arm, okay? Vivi and I will need time to plot out our root once the vampire is located.” Arthur shuddered slightly at Lewis’ strangely cool but warm touched moved to his neck, giving a tiny nod as Vivi came back into the room, a look of determination on her face. “That sounds good,” he murmured, eyes moving to the tiny glint of metal in Vivi’s hand. “Come on, Artie,” Lewis sighed, turning the blonde bodily in his direction as Vivi began to set up the spell, “Look at me.” Arthur obeyed after a moment, his breath slightly shallow as he focused on Lewis’ chin, still not quite able to look the other in the eyes, the black and magenta of Lewis’ eyes often the center of nightmares that still plagued him on occasion. Not that he ever blamed Lewis, but having been chased down by a flaming specter while looking for your best friend hadn’t exactly been a highlight of Arthur’s life. Lewis sighed quietly, tipping Arthur’s chin up, forcing the blonde to meet his gaze. He could see the way Arthur’s adams apple bobbed with nerves as he began to tremble under Lewis’ hands. “You’re going to be fine, Arthur. Everything is going to be fine. Take deep breaths, okay? In for seven, out for five. With my count, Arthur. One-” Lewis had helped Arthur through panic attacks many a time, breathing deep with the blonde to help calm him. He couldn’t recall a time since he’d died, though. It didn’t help that he no longer needed to breath, so Vivi had been the one to do it the last few times Arthur had begun to panic. But, now with Vivi busy and Mystery having disappeared at some point, it was up to him. He supposed keeping tempo was like counting breaths, so in a pinch he supposed it would do. But Arthur’s breath wasn’t evening out and he could feel how the blonde was beginning to tremble harder beneath his hands. Lewis finished his count, a light frown on his face as Arthur’s gaze skittered away from his to focus over his shoulder, the blonde obviously trying to control his breathing but failing miserably. It was then a sudden idea struck Lewis, releasing Arthur to dig into his jacket. He pulled his locket free, and pressed it into Arthur’s chest, making the blonde jump yet again, his eyes wide as he looked down at the glowing heart beating against his chest. Lewis took Arthur’s hand and placed it over the locket, forcing Arthur to fold it in place. “Focus, Arthur,” Lewis stated, replacing his hands on the blondes shoulders, “Focus on the beats, okay? Slow your breathing, and try to sync up with it, alright? I know you can do it.” After a minute or so, Arthur’s shoulders slumped as he stared down at the golden heart on his chest, his breath finally evening out as he relaxed. “Good,” Lewis hummed happily, stroking his fingers through Arthur’s hair. “Thanks, Lewis,” Arthur murmured quietly, hugging the locket more closely to himself as his eyes slid shut, letting himself enjoy the simple comfort he was being offered. “Anytime, Artie.”

[calvinwatchesstuff]

Let’s Watch Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V: Episode 1

Well this has been a long time coming, hasn’t it? 

I’ll be honest: I’ve been putting this off for a while. I honestly don’t know why; maybe the idea of watching a series when I’m literally sharing a universe with some of its main characters is a little awkward for me. But seeing as Konami just announced that the next Yu-Gi-Oh! series, Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS, will be airing in April, I figure I might as well start watching and see if I can catch up in time. I probably can’t, but I’ll do my best. 

Now, I don’t know too much about this series, but I know a little. I know about Pendulum Summoning (which I thought was confusing until I saw the new Link Summoning mechanics and realized how lucky we once were), and I know that Action Duels are a thing. I’ve also seen the design of the main character, and I know that parallel universe become a thing at some point. (Story of my life.) Other than that, I’m going in pretty much blind. Just how I like it. 

Well, no sense putting this off any longer; let’s leap straight into the action! As Dan Green would say... “It’s time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-DUEL!!!” 

Alright, we’re starting off with what looks like a medieval Japanese setting, except there are already holograms. I’m assuming this will be explained in a moment.

OH MY GOD THIS MUSIC IS COOL

Alright, so now we have the new Duel Disk and Life Point counter designs. I gotta say, I like both. I especially like how the counter says how many cards are in each duelist’s hand; that was always something that bugged me.

Alright, so now we have this character. He uses the Superheavy Samurai (or Superheavy Warrior, as it’s translated here), which seems to make sense given his character design. No idea what to say about the monster names, though.

Ah, looks like we already have Advanced Summoning happening!

So this guy’s name is Gongenzaka (oh, THAT’s gonna be fun to type out), and he’s dueling Yuya, who I happen to know is the main character (mainly because his name starts with “Yu”).

“Ladies and gentlemen!” IT BEGINS

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE THINGS

And then suddenly we cut to this girl in what appears to be a control room of some kind. So I guess this is a simulation.

…okay, there was a lot of information to be parsed in that scene. We got a bunch of new characters- the girl I assume is the Téa-expy of this generation, her dad, and some other people watching- we got the fact that this equipment seems pretty fragile, and it looks suspiciously like the hologram system (which is called “Solid Vision” now) uses some sort of hard-light technology.

Ah, okay, here we go with the intro. And it looks like I was right: the gimmick of this series seems to be that the holograms have physical mass. That would piss me off, but seeing as they already act like they do anyway, it’s nice to make it official.

This is a really good intro song actually.

“The Trail of Light: Pendulum Summon!” Ah, of course. First episode of a new series, so we have to introduce the new summoning mechanic.

Alright, so I spent extensive time on the wiki prior to this, and I think I FINALLY figured out how Pendulum Summoning works. I’ll check within the series itself, but I’m fairly certain I’ve got it now.

I have to say, I like the aesthetic of this city so far. It’s kind of like Heartland from Zexal, but with some of the glass-and-steel motifs of GX.

Aaaaand there is a building with “LDS” on the side. That’s…interesting.

Ah, it says “LEO Corporation” on this side. Kind of strange that it’s in English, but sure. I guess that’s what the “L” stands for. I guess my initial guess was kind of ridiculous in context.

And I guess this is where the main characters live: the “You Show Duel School”. Again, kind of strange that the sign is in English, but I’ll roll with it. Less work for the translators, I guess.

And now we have this guy. I guess he runs this place.

So I know that the main character is named Yuya, and I guess Yuzu is the girl with him. Kind of interesting that they both have the “Yu” syllable at the start of their name. Almost feels like they’re setting Yuzu up as another main character.

Okay, wow, this Gongenzaka guy is even more intense than the other guy.

Oh hello there, guy with offensive mustache.

Ah, okay, “Leo Duel School”. So like Duel Academy from GX, except not on an island. Got it.

I see. So this guy “Strong Ishijima” was supposed to duel Yuya’s father (whom the Jumbotron says is named Yusyo, but the translation calls him “Yushou”), but he never showed up.

Well this instructor guy changed his mind real quick when he heard about the free hologram system.

OH MY GOD THE FAN

Oh hey, a pendulum. Can’t imagine that will have any goddamn significance in this series.

Well this got depressing really damn fast.

Also, Yuya’s dad reminds me vaguely of Captain Shanks. I wonder if that’s intentional.

Wait, is this the same day? You mean these LDS guys seriously waited until the day of the tournament to arrange things with the opponent for the title match?!

Oh, okay, looks like it’s a different day.

THE FAN AGAIN

Oh yeah, here we go! The series’ first Action Duel! Let’s see this in action!

And of course now Yuya’s going to take a minute to arrive so the audience will draw parallels with his dad.

…why is Yuya dressed as a clown?

Oh wow, the Duel Disk blades are actually hard light holograms too in this series. I’ll admit, it’s a cool-looking design (though it leaves me damn curious how the cards stay on, especially since the duelists in Action Duels are by definition going to be running around and tilting the Duel Disk at all angles).

Whoa, card explosion out of nowhere at the halfway point! Apparently these are “Action Cards”; I have no idea what that means.

Oh yeah, this was the generation they introduced the “No Draw Phase on the first turn” rule. Neat.

The fact that he’s playing his first card while sliding down a rope off a castle is almost cool enough to distract me from how fucking stupid that hippo monster is.

“Ore no tan! Dorraw!” Oh MAN I’ve missed that phrase.

Holy crap, he performed an Advanced Summon on the first turn? I can see why he’s a champion. (Though it’s kind of weird they haven’t showcased Pendulum Monsters yet. I’m pretty sure Yusei had summoned a Synchro by this point in his first episode.)

Ah, okay, so Action Cards basically allow his monsters to react to events; i.e. this “Evasion” card led him dodge the attack.

Oh wow, a Yu-Gi-Oh! protagonist with an actual living parent?! This series IS breaking new ground!

So it looks like Yuma’s gimmick is that he acts like he’s just screwing around and making everyone laugh while he’s actually strategizing and exploring the environment.

What does it take to destroy this fucking hippo?!

Okay, so “Odd-Eyes Dragon” looks like Yuya’s ace monster, but I’m reasonably certain it’s supposed to be a Pendulum Monster. It certainly doesn’t look it here. Actually, the fact that Pendulum Summoning hasn’t been featured yet is kind of strange in and of itself.

And now apparently Duel Disks have a feature that lets you talk with your opponent. Pretty good feature, although it’s kind of pointless considering every duelist in this series can magically hear their opponent from across the field anyway.

Oh wow, that’s actually a really clever strategy.

Yeah, something tells me it’s not going to be that easy.

Ah, of course. I guess Yuya should have realized there would be Action Cards in the castle as well.

Oh that’s very not good.

Yikes. We’re, what, 5 or 6 turns in and Yuya’s already on his last 400 Life Points.

Well, a draw this dramatic has to have a pretty powerful card attached to it.

wait what

WAIT WHAT

Okay, so…the normal monsters in his deck turned into Pendulum Monsters? So does this mean that he just created Pendulum Summoning? I’m…fairly certain that’s cheating, but I’ll brush it off because this is actually really cool.

Yeah, alright, this actually looks pretty sick.

I’m laughing pretty hard right now because at this point Strong Ishijima could literally quote Abridged Yami’s “Did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?” speech.

Oh wow, I like this outro song too.

Well that was different than I expected. I admit, I’m really interested in what’s going on; we already have at least two ongoing mysteries established with the disappearance of Yuya’s dad and whatever the fuck happened with Pendulum Summoning, and I’m eager to see where they go with this. Alright, that’s it for now; see you guys tomorrow for Episode 2! 

[on-the-border]

3/18/20

So, there’s been some interesting developments in my life lately and I am interested to see where they lead. The day after Rob told me we were done permanently and to abandon all hope, we ended up having sex. Started with me showing off my newest Android 18 cosplay earlier in the day, and then when I got home from work, he told me I’d be prettier if I was naked. So, I stripped, starting taking care of myself, he did his thing, and then we just got frisky together. And it was great. He felt guilty after, but it still happened. Which kinda confused me and made me feel like maybe things aren’t permanent? But I pushed that thought aside, because I would hate to disappoint myself, and went to sleep.

He went off to his LARP the next day. I worked that night, but he at least let me know he got there safe. I stayed busy at work that night, dealing with new protocols for this coronavirus crisis. That Friday, I worked on a bunch of laundry, worked through some of my BPD workbook, and went to play DnD with my buddy, Mike, and his friends. Afterward, I grabbed drinks and hung out with Brittany and Russell. I even tried a new drink, that wasn’t a mudslide or a Bloody Mary, which was a big deal in itself! Saturday, I just had a pole dancing class, followed by work. My PT’s true intentions of tearing me down were revealed when she had her brother ask me out, who I quickly turned down. So, that was awkward. Work was stressful due to new changes. Early Sunday, Russ left for Buffalo and I got to hang out with Brittany and start a new Netflix series. We talked quite a bit about stuff going on. I told her I was sad and cried, not wondering about who or what Rob was doing at the game, but about what happened when he went to the last LARP when we were still dating. He had texted me (which is rare in the game to begin with due to being in the woods) and stated how much he missed me, to the point he almost left the game early to come home and see me. Instead of a normal response, such as “I miss you, too, and can’t wait to see you,” I said something along the lines of “If you really missed me so much, you’d be home already.” And when he got home, excited to tell me about the weekend, I tore into him about the girls he hung out with at the game. Which, of course, started a fight back then. I told Brittany I felt so fucking stupid that I had been so ridiculous and so cruel. She said she was happy that I was at least noticing the mistakes and could move forward with that knowledge for the future.

Rob didn’t come home Sunday night. So, Brittany and I exchanged some sad glances before she went to work on Monday. Russ came home and asked if I knew when Rob was coming home. I didn’t. I have been trying not to text him, as I want to give him space and not blow up his phone constantly. I don’t want to bother him.

Later Monday night, while I was at work, Rob texted asking about my weekend. Other than work, as previously mentioned, it was rather uneventful. I asked how his weekend was. He said it was good, and he would be back Tuesday. He then asked, “I wanted to run something by you. Cause I don’t want to make things weird or hard for you, so yeah. I’ll just come out and say it. How would you feel about a female friend being at the house for a few days hanging out? Nothing romantic going on to bother you or such, but I wanted to ask to be considerate. If it makes you uncomfortable, it’s not a problem and I understand. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about and didn’t wanna blindside you.”

I was shaken at first. Especially since this girl, Sam, was probably the girl I was worried most about him hanging out with when we were together because I was insecure that maybe he thought she was prettier or cooler or better than me or whatever.

I saw this as an opportunity. I keep saying therapy and this book and whatnot are working and I am growing and getting better. Especially as a single guy, he should be allowed to have friends over where he was living. So, I said sure. He asked if I was okay and I said yes. It was sad to think that he, Britt, and Russ are all friends with this girl. I met her once at Rob’s LARP beta event, but was too caught up in making sure no girl made advances that I didn’t talk or try to befriend her like Brittany did. So, I missed out on getting to know this person, seeing she wasn’t a threat, and becoming friends. But, I digress.

I wanted to see if I could handle a female friend being around Rob, even if we aren’t together. The coworkers I talked to said this was a good way for me to see if I can be trusting, too. So, I am giving it the good ol’ college try!

Rob came home Tuesday and I went to his fitness class at our local little gym. He was making little sexual jokes at me. I told him about the BPD book’s chapter about behaviors and benefits that keep you stuck. I told him that repeatedly sleeping with him was one of those behaviors. The benefits: I get to touch him and feel close to him, I feel sexy and like I’m good enough for him at that time, and I feel like I can show him how great I am physically. But the consequences include: I am giving myself false hope (knowing sex won’t fix the relationship), I make him feel guilty, I eventually overthink and get sad when reminded that he isn’t mine and isn’t getting back with me, and I am pushing him further away by proving I am not changing by falling into old patterns.

We got home from the class and Sam was there. I made dinner for everyone and we all hung out in the living room. Brittany took a shower and when she got done, I quickly went to shower the sweat off myself. After bathing, I stood naked by the mirror brushing my hair and doing my skin care routine, when Rob knocked and opened the door. He asked if I was okay because I had just left suddenly without saying anything. I didn’t think I had to mention I was showering to everyone. He was staring at me and said he thought I looked phenomenal. I thanked him. He said my abs were starting to come in and look good, which I told him I had been working really hard on. Then, he lifted up his shirt and showed me his hard-on. I showed off a little, because the attention honestly felt nice and it felt good to be complimented. I went into my room and he was there naked and erect about to get into pajamas. I wanted him so badly, I was throbbing. We get really close and he started to play with himself and he said he wanted his dick sucked. I almost gave in. I told him I was surprised that during the LARP weekend and his time alone with Sam at her house, that nothing had happened, especially now that he is single. Not that I want it to, but hey, that’s reality, I guess. I bent over to grab some underwear and pajamas, and he spread my cheeks apart and again said he wanted me. I wanted to just go at it with him. But, I instead said no. He asked if this was an ego boost for me, and I asked him the same, since I still want him. And he went downstairs.

This morning, I went to see Paul first thing. He said he was proud of me sticking to my guns. He said it might be better for now to lay low and continue on me. It really sucks sometimes, but I am trying my hardest to get better and actually change this time around, for good. If by some miracle, Rob wants to get back with me down the line, I want it to be because I am finally healthy and doing well for myself and he wants to be just the cherry on top to my good life and happiness, not just because I’m good at giving head.

When I got home, he was showing Sam how to play Yugioh and talking about making her a deck. Brought back memories of all the times we used to play and all the money I spent on cardboard and watching Yugioh Abridged with him. So, to get my mind off things, I played Monster Hunter and worked on my workbook some more. It always brings me some peace. I had to go to work early, and called my friend, Marcia, on the way. She also said she was proud of the maturity and growth I’m showing. Said she hadn’t seen this since she met me and it looked like I was making the changes they all wanted to see for all this time.

I believe I am on the right path. This week will be a test, but I am hoping I am up to the challenge. I am getting better and feeling better every day. I am tired of my anxiety and BPD controlling my life. So, let’s see what happens.

“In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that in the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushed against me, within me, there’s something stronger, something better, pushing right back.” – Albert Camus

[thisizaraisu]

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: A Tale of Two Seasons

Welp, here it is. The last post I’m going to make in regards to the Haruhi series. And it’s gonna be a LONG one, so be ready for some reading.

Looking back on my reviews of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, I feel like I may have been a bit harsh in what I had to say. I mostly attribute this to recency bias, however. As I’ve said, the second season of Haruhi is one of the worst anime I’ve ever watched, to the point where at the time of my initial reviews, I had forgotten what I enjoyed about the first season. So I wanted to both seasons justice by reviewing them separately and drawing comparisons and contrasts between them.

The thing about The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is that I went into the series totally blind. The little knowledge I had of the series was gained from Lucky Star’s frequent references and parodies, so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Having watched Lucky Star and Nichijou before this one, comedic high school slice-of-life series both made by KyoAni, I expected Haruhi to follow suit. What I ended up seeing was beyond anything I could have anticipated. Aliens, time travelers, ESPers, and just a ton of bizarre happenings were not what I expected from this series. And at first I was totally on board with the premise, but later episodes ended up making the premise the source of all of the show’s flaws.

I’m going to go episode-by-episode, in Funimation order, to outline just how drastic the show’s nosedive in quality really is.

Season 1

The first six episodes are all titled, rather conveniently, “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.” Once again this gave me no indicator of what I could expect from the series. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya I follows this pattern well by taking the form of a standard slice-of-life pilot. Everything starts off incredibly tame, with Haruhi’s character summed up as a beautiful, eccentric high school girl. The SOS Brigade is formed with three characters of distinct personalities, Kyon, Yuki Nagato and Mikuru Asahina, personally recruited by Haruhi. Outside of the blatant sexual harassment Haruhi inflicts upon Mikuru, which is honestly one of the funniest moments in the series, everything feels completely standard.

It’s the ending of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya II where the true premise begins to show itself. Again, outside of Mikuru being harassed, both to get a computer for the clubroom and advertise the SOS Brigade in a bunny girl costume, it’s just normal slice-of-life pacing and dialogue. It was around this point that I wondered why this show was so iconic, and what set it apart from other slice-of-life series.

Then Yuki tells Kyon that she’s an alien.

All of a sudden, you’re thrown back to episode 1 where Haruhi expressed her desire to interact with aliens, time travelers and ESPers, and the pieces start falling into place. Yuki, Mikuru and Koizumi all have different perspectives on the function that Haruhi serves, but you know one thing for sure: Haruhi is not an ordinary human being. As much as things were beginning to click, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya III was still rather... boring. It’s mainly just a lot of expository dialogue of the three outsiders explaining why they’re actually in the SOS Brigade: to observe Haruhi Suzumiya. As interesting as the premise was at the time, the show itself just didn’t feel like a lot of fun to watch, and I was honestly tempted to back out if the fourth episode didn’t do something interesting.

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya IV responded to my concern by being one of the best episodes in the entire series.

Ryoko Asakura, the most popular member of Kyon and Haruhi’s class, is actually an alien interface who was sent to earth with Yuki who becomes hellbent on killing Kyon to elicit a reaction out of Haruhi. The first three episodes were rather boring but this one did a complete 180 in creating what’s honestly one of the best fight scenes I’ve ever seen in an anime. This whole scene got me for two reasons: first is the fact that Asakura contrasts the main cast entirely by being set up as a completely normal high school student. People know who she is, she’s sociable, and she shows concern for students aside from Haruhi. One minute later she pulls out a knife and tries to slit Kyon’s throat. It’s just a total trip. The second reason is that in a lot of fight scenes, we have a general idea of the characters’ powers. That’s something that Haruhi doesn’t take any time to set up, so every move that Asakura and Yuki make is a complete surprise. Yuki being stabbed with six metal spikes, then casually removing one from her chest before deleting Asakura from existence can’t be described as anything but a badass sequence. It was this point where I was absolutely all-in on finishing the show. It felt incredibly satisfying to get through the exposition to see something like this go down.

A quick side note I should have mentioned in my review of The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan, it’s absolutely strange seeing Asakura NOT trying to kill Kyon for the entirety of the series.

So I ventured on to The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya V, and the series continued this level of insane but good quality for a while. What was really interesting about this episode and Haruhi’s quest to find out what actually happened to Asakura is the fact that we already know what happened. As a result, instead of focusing on the mystery element we get to focus on the solid character development that this episode provides. Haruhi’s tenacious nature is in full display as she is determined to find the answers she’s looking for. That and the segment where she tells Kyon about her childhood is the most genuine and heartfelt moment we get from Haruhi in the entire show.

After this great 11 minutes of character building, we get to learn all about closed-space, something that’s incredibly important to the rest of the series (and eventually becomes a big reason that the show goes south). As Koizumi takes Kyon to a closed-space, we get to see the extent of Haruhi’s unconscious power, and how the fate of the world is entirely reliant on Haruhi’s emotions. This becomes a HUGE problem later, but season 1 utilizes this concept very well. While the SOS Brigade still has to submit to Haruhi’s frequent demands, they aren’t nearly as toxic as what’s to come.

Closed-space immediately makes its presence felt in The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya VI, where one of Haruhi’s dreams traps her and Kyon in a hellworld of her own unconscious creation. This is the episode that was really able to elicit emotion from me. The conflicting views between Kyon and Haruhi, the former wishing to return to the world they know and the latter being elated at the change of scenery, creates a very tense situation, especially with the knowledge that Haruhi is ultimately the one in control of this closed-space. Tied in with Haruhi’s monologue in the previous episode, you completely understand where Haruhi is coming from while also knowing that this can’t be where she spends the rest of her life. I’m going to go against what might be the common opinion and say it’s not entirely selfish for her to take the opportunity for a new, interesting life that’s opened up in front of her.

Unfortunately, all of this good setup leads to a rather disappointing ending to the episode. Did I enjoy the kiss scene? Yes. What disappointed me was the dialogue that led to it. I wanna do a quick experiment here: I’m going to show two short moments of dialogue, and if you haven’t seen the show before I want you to guess which one was in the actual show and which one was in an abridged series called Haroohee.

Option 1:

Haruhi: Aren’t you sick of living the same life day in and day out, in a world with nothing to live for?

Kyon: You know... for a while, I thought the same thing. No matter how hard I try to convince myself otherwise, I just fall apart. But then I realized something: There really is no point to it all, baby! None of this matters! That’s why it’s up to us to make something worth living for. If there’s nothing interesting happening in the world, then we just have to make something interesting happen! *kiss*

Option 2:

Haruhi: What’s wrong?

Kyon: I’ve sorta got a thing for girls with ponytails.

Haruhi: What?

Kyon: I don’t remember when it was, but you had your hair in a ponytail and it looked so good on you, it was criminal.

Haruhi: Huh? What’re you, an idiot? *kiss*

Would you believe that option 2 was from the actual show? Yeah. This is the first moment in the show that left me with a real feeling of disappointment. Instead of saying something profound, Kyon merely rambles on about how badly he wanted to kiss Haruhi because she once had her hair in a ponytail. The scene that follows in which Haruhi wears her hair in a ponytail the next day is hilarious, but I was kind of disappointed to see an abridged series on YouTube do the dialogue for this scene much better than the original show.

Let’s move right along though, because that’s just one small moment in a very good overall episode.

As I’ve been watching anime more and more frequently, there are three types of episodes that I’ve considered “rite-of-passage” episodes for a slice-of-life anime. These would be baseball episodes, Christmas episodes, and beach episodes. The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya is the first of these types, and it’s probably one of the best baseball episodes I’ve seen aside from Ball Game Tournament Time from Assassination Classroom. This is the episode where it’s really shown how important it is for the main cast to keep Haruhi happy at all times. Closed-space can open up anywhere without warning if she feels displeasure, and the baseball game has much higher stakes than anyone could comprehend.

THIS IS THE PREMISE FOR THE REST OF THE SHOW, and ultimately, it becomes an issue. What makes the overall premise work in this episode, however, is that nobody is getting hurt. It’s an exhibition game of baseball, one that the opposing team’s coach is ultimately happy to lose because it provides his team with a much-needed reality check. Haruhi drops her team out of the tournament with a perfect record, and everybody wins in the end. This is how I WISH the rest of the show handled this premise, but that just doesn’t happen.

While Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody is often considered the Season 2 premiere, Funimation has it as episode 8 and it does make chronological sense so that’s also where I’m putting it. Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody is an episode that I can only describe as strange but heartwarming. This episode’s overall impact is much greater in hindsight after watching The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya, where John Smith becomes an important name for Haruhi. In fact, this is one that I can’t say much about without mentioning the movie. It introduces the strange ways that time travel works in the Haruhi universe, and ultimately leaves these concepts in ambiguity until it becomes vital to the plot of the film.

Mysterique Sign kick-starts the overarching problem with the show’s premise, which is that Haruhi’s powers are capable of putting people in danger. Case in point, the president of the school’s computer club becomes trapped in a simulated desert, taking the form of a giant camel cricket which somehow has something to do with Haruhi’s design for the SOS Brigade logo. As confusing as that sentence was, it does mark what I would describe as the small beginning to the show’s sharp nosedive in quality.

My worries were temporarily put to rest with Remote Island Syndrome (which I falsely referred to as “Remote Island Mystery” in my previous reviews, sorry about that), a two-episode arc that shows the RIGHT way for the main cast to stave off Haruhi’s boredom. Rather than Yuki inadvertently trapping a student inside of a camel cricket in an effort to give Haruhi something to do, Koizumi sets up a fake murder mystery scenario at the mansion of a distant relative. It’s perfectly executed because Koizumi gives absolutely no indication that the whole ordeal is a set-up until the very end. It’s tense in the moment, funny in hindsight. Again, the direction I WISH the rest of the series had chosen to take.

But then we get into... *sigh*...

The Endless Eight

I want to make something perfectly clear: I don’t consider The Endless Eight to be part of Season 1 or Season 2. It’s a monster that falls into its own category. And I put myself through this trial so you hopefully don’t have to.

If you’re not already in the know, The Endless Eight is essentially the same episode of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya repeated eight times, with only different animation to separate them. Personally I chose to endure the experience so I didn’t find it infuriating, but I was bored out of my mind. I can’t imagine how people waiting for a new episode of the show felt for those eight weeks though.

I’ve already talked about The Endless Eight extensively in previous reviews, so I’m not going to discuss it too much here. Just know that this is the point that dramatically marks the series’ decline in quality.

You might not believe me when I say this, but it gets worse than the Endless Eight. MUCH worse.

Season 2

When I called Season 2 “the worst anime I’ve ever seen,” you may have expected me to be referring to the Endless Eight. In actuality, I was referring to The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya, the arc that completely flips the moral implications of the show on its head.

To sum everything up so far, Haruhi is an unconscious god whose powers are capable of altering space-time. In spite of everything that’s happened so far, the SOS Brigade has done everything in their power to ensure the safety of the public, with only one person aside from them being affected by her powers, and this person was ultimately unscathed (Mysterique Sign). That’s all about to change because The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya is a direct outlet for Haruhi to do horrific shit and get away with it because upsetting her could put the fate of the entire world at risk.

THIS is what I mean when I say the premise becomes a huge problem. Prior to this arc, Haruhi’s eccentricities didn’t have much potential to harmfully impact those around her. Granted, closed-spaces have that potential but only if the giants destroy the entire space before action is taken. Nobody in the real world had been affected by closed-space to this point besides Kyon and Koizumi.

Ultimately, the fear of Haruhi creating more closed-space is what allows Haruhi to get away with everything I’m about to describe with no repercussions, something that still frustrates me.

The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya begins with Haruhi expressing her desire to create a film for the school’s cultural festival. Haruhi ultimately recruits the members of the SOS Brigade to star in the movie (except Kyon who performs manual labor), and negotiates with shop owners to get a free high-definition video camera and airsoft gun.

And we’re off to a pretty good start.

The first episode of this arc has a solid idea for a premise and plenty of comedy throughout. But in hindsight, there are a number of factors that spelled disaster for this arc. Namely the fact that Haruhi is obviously the director of the movie. Haruhi is incredibly self-entitled, but she has exercised some degree of restraint up to this point. This time around though, she’s fully determined to get the movie she wants with no script, regardless of how the other members of the SOS Brigade feel about the way they’re being treated.

In an ordinary set-up, the cast would ultimately get fed up with the director’s overbearing nature and abandon the project before the director embraces humility, apologizes, re-recruits everyone and gets the movie they want by treating their cast properly. It’s incredibly cliche but it’s a scenario that can be done well.

However, because of the ever-looming threat of closed-space, this scenario cannot happen. And this is the biggest problem.

The following events occur over the span of the SOS Brigade’s attempts at filming the movie: -Haruhi forcibly dresses Mikuru in her bunny girl costume and makes her advertise for the stores that provided her with the free camera and airsoft gun. She also forces Mikuru to dress in either the bunny girl costume or a much skimpier variant of her maid outfit for the entire duration of the movie and filming. This is the greatest degree of public humiliation Mikuru receives throughout the entire series. -Haruhi’s imagination lets Mikuru fire deadly laser beams out of her colored contact, nearly hitting Kyon and burning the palm of Yuki’s hand. -Haruhi forces the extras to throw Mikuru into a polluted lake several times to film a specific fight scene. And last but certainly not least... -Haruhi spikes Mikuru’s drink with alcohol in order to mellow her out for the filming of a romance scene between her and Koizumi.

SERIOUSLY. Having to sit and watch Mikuru endure all of this torture for the sake of an independent film is just an incredibly uncomfortable experience, to the point where I WANTED Kyon to hit Haruhi towards the end of The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya IV. There are so many things about this arc that get me, but the one that stands out the most is that it’s morally reprehensible. The main cast’s fear of Haruhi creating closed-space has completely taken the place of mystery in the show’s forefront, allowing her to get away with anything and everything, regardless of how it affects those that she calls friends. It’s to the point where the fear of closed-space not only prevents Kyon from giving Haruhi any repercussion that she deserves for her actions, but also forces him to make up with her the day after their dispute. In this arc of five 22-minute episodes, where the uncomfortable experience is incredibly drawn-out, it only takes five minutes of show time for Kyon to make up with Haruhi. THIS. IS. AWFUL. WRITING.

SPEAKING OF AWFUL WRITING, let’s talk about The Sigh of Mikuru Asahina. By far the worst episode of the series. The Endless Eight may have been eight episodes back-to-back, but at least the animation was different every time. The Sigh of Mikuru Asahina, on the other hand, is essentially just the movie that the SOS Brigade created. As a result it’s a lot of re-used animation and unfunny moments with a film-grain filter placed over it. It’s a filler episode to the absolute most extreme, and it’s so bad that it’s now only considered as a bonus episode of the show. Yes, it’s so bad that it couldn’t even join the likes of the Endless Eight.

Live Alive is an episode that exists. It’s basically just showing how the school’s cultural festival goes as Haruhi’s movie premieres in the film room, but it’s a premise that I’ve seen executed much better by shows like Lucky Star. God Knows is a bop but there’s nothing else really remarkable about it, good or bad. Also, this is just a nitpick but when you dub an anime, you should NEVER dub over songs. Those are in Japanese for good reason. And yes, I admit I watched the dub instead of the sub for The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, I just think KyoAni’s dubs are better than their subs. Again, just a small nitpick though, it wouldn’t have been a complaint at all if I had watched the sub.

Fortunately the writers remembered how to make a good episode with The Day of Sagittarius, an episode that is considered part of Season 1 by everyone’s metric aside from Funimation’s, and for good reason. This episode shows Yuki at her most entertaining, as well as Haruhi at her least selfish and overbearing, as she allows Yuki to spend time with the school’s computer club in the end. I found this to be an absolutely perfect episode, and I consider it a “needle-in-the-haystack” moment as I had finally found an enjoyable viewing experience after suffering through the majority of Season 2. I’m just glad that The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya ended with a great episode reminiscent of Season 1...

Is what I would say if the Funimation order didn’t end with Someday in the Rain, another filler episode and probably the most boring of the bunch. There’s a scene that’s literally three minutes of Yuki reading in the clubroom, occasionally flipping pages as faint dialogue goes on in the background. This is the episode about nothing, and it is objectively the most boring that the series gets.

And that’s all 28 episodes of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. I’ve ragged on this show a lot in past reviews but I was definitely too generalizing about it, so I really wanted to break this show down into its parts and provide my opinions about all of them. This is just a very inconsistent show, and most of my generalized negative opinions about it were due to the recency bias of having watched the dumpster fire that was Season 2. I did greatly enjoy the first portion of the show though, as I also mentioned in past reviews. It’s just a shame that the premise disintegrated the way it did, ultimately creating the self-entitled fearmonger named Haruhi Suzumiya.

I’m done with The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. I’ll always have good and bad memories of the show, but I’m certainly done talking about it. This post took me over an hour to type out, so I really hope you understand where I’m coming from on this show. I know it’s one of the more iconic anime out there but from my own perspective I just can’t see this show as anything but a disappointment. It sets itself up so well only to tumble into its downward spiral, and the downward drop is especially steep given the order the episodes were presented to me.

Thanks for reading this humongous post, the Blend-S review should be happening soon. GlassCannon, out.