#should i take this project back i really want to but idk at the same time lol

[somestardeww]

I NEED TO DUMP THINGS ABOUT MY WRITING PROJECT FOR MY CLASSES FROM HIGH SCHOOL OKAY. I FOUND MY OLD NOTES ABOUT THE PROJECT AND OMG-

IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING.

it was a project about creating a history, and I created a short book (that I had to write only in two weeks so it's not properly finished SUE ME) calle MoonSide or MoonFloor idk something with Moon and it was about a rivalry between several powerful/bourgeois families who, in a dystopian scenario, had the fate of the world in their hands (because of all the climate problems and basically the privileged bourgeoisie fucking the earth right in the ass. raw.)

well, the protagonist was the son/descendant of one of these families...

in a tragedy that I absolutely loved writing, a rival family set up a whole scenario to kill the family of the protagonist, stealing their ideas on how to save the planet - basically, it was putting an old space colonization project into practice, by sending (the most privileged) humans to a lunar base that they had designed, something with some fancy oxygen production technology from whatever, I didn't delve much into the possibilities in the two weeks I had, while another healthy fauna and flora recovery project started on earth, restoring oceans and forests and all that utopian shit that I wanted, at least this last part, to be true. professionals and volunteer labor would stay on the planet to help and regulate everything, and it would be a truly perfect plan like our protagonist's family planned...

but they didn't have that chance because, obviously, everyone died... except the protagonist!!! (please pretend to be shocked) who ended up going to the moon after the death of his relatives, in an attempt to make the murderous family less suspicious. The thing is, he wasn't exactly sane after all this experience, and he dedicated his entire life to putting an end to the family that murdered his relatives - and who now dominated that lunar city through a government very suspiciously, almost handed for them.

Is now a good time to say that this story involves powers? lmao. space apparently, at least in this universe, has some pretty sinister electrical storms that happen from years to years, and since they started sending ships to the moon they started to be attracted to the trajectory that the maves usually occupied, almost like a for lightning. the things is that they have a very strange effect on human beings, giving them extraordinary abilities (fantastic quartet style. that's right. I had just seen the film in the time, I think it influenced my creative process), and our protagonist gained one! he disintegrates anything with a touch, he has questionable control over the ability, and can also project it if he wants, like waves of pure destruction rushing through the air in whatever direction he leads it.

After that there is nerdy planning on computers, hacker stuff, invasion of a government building, attack on the oppressive forces that lead the country and things like that :)

ALL THIS WORK BELONGS TO ME, somestardeww, AND I DO NOT ALLOW COPYING, TRANSLATION OR THEFT OF MY WORK.

plus, you can create your own universe, let your imagination fly! <3

[theangelcatalogue]

ISLAND OF THE LOVESICKNESS || ★!

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

Romantic!☆

Gender neutral!☆

Starting notes; Little project i wanted to make, since i love total drama and iots! This was inspired by iots but with Yandere ghosts! I will have multiple chapters, everyday one vitcm! I hope you all like it! (IOTS WAS MADE BY @eavee-ry )

TW: BLOOD, VIOLENCE, KILLING, OBSSESIVE BEHAVIOR, YANDERES, POSSESIVE BEHAVIOR, THROW UP, OUT OF CHARACTER, BAD ENGLISH, BAD GRAMMAR AND MADE BY A MINOR!! YOU DON'T NEED TO READ IF YOU DON'T WANT! (Tell me if i missed something)

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

They are death

Every single one of them, you know that

You were hired by your own uncle Chris McLean to be a intern at Total Drama, you would be something like a camp counselor! Your job was to check the campists

People said your uncle was a amazing guy, but you knew it was a lie, you never knew anyone more arrogant that him

Well, at least you have something to do at summer! And it would be fun see some drama...

Your job was to be a baby-sitter to resume, you were checking up and taking care of tennagers! People of your age! It was kinda fun but you were so tired of them

The nice thing is that they seemed to like you! Even Heather, but sometimes they were acting toward you(you thought that was weird cause it dind't make so many time you knew them)

It was going to have a challenger! Everyone was there except for Beth, you decided to look for her

In the florest you decided to worry, where is she? You heard a sound in the cave, as the beautiful curious you are, you got in

A bloody axe...

A lost arm...

Her body was bloody

She was dead.

SHE WAS DEAD!?

You wanted to throw up, the smell of blood...

You felt sick

You Chris and the interns, and they discover that a killer is in the island, what should we do!?

Chris had the idea of left the campers here

You tried to convice him other wise, but when you noticed you already in a boat leaving the island, you felt guilty, Chris made you leave them

Chris dind't left you because how would him explain this to your parents? Your Mother would kill him!

And when you came back home, he said to tell that you were in vacation...?

You passed the next months feeling guilty and sick, you wanted to throw up, and sometimes you really did it

You should had stayed, or at least try to convice Chris....

One day, Chris called you to go with him and two new interns to go back to the island and save them

You knew why Chris was doing that

He wanted to be the hero, that's it

But you decided to go, cause now it's time

Time to the truth, and let's be honest

You were afraid of the truth.

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

I left the boat, this place looks so weird to be honest, you felt sick again

Something was wrong, you knew that! But now it's time

What happend to them

" I hope they are okay... "

I was afraid, afraid to go anywhere in this island, i dind't wanted to do that, but at same time...

I was scared

I felt something in your shoulder, a hand

" Don't worry Y/n! We going to find them, i hope... "

Sierra was trying to comfort me, but i could look at her eyes and see that she knew the truth

" Amigos! Everything will be alright, but i hope we have everything to survive here, Chris dind't explain so well "

Alejandro was in Sierra's side while looking at the island and looking around, he was right, Chris dind't explained how would you guys find the others, does him even know how to walk around this island?

I don't think so

" Can we stop to talk! Come on you- we have job to do! "

Chris said and started to walk, me, Sierra and Alejandro just followed him

Something is wrong in this place, i feel watched while walking

Oh god.

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

Notes:

★ THIS IS SOOOOO BAD HELP WHAT??? i tried ★

★ I hope you all like it! I will try to be more online even thought school is making this nearly impossible ★

★ Idk but Ily you guys <3 ★

[i4oba]

haechan as… 💭 / your study buddy ⊹◞✿

haechan as your study buddy sounds like a complete nightmare

I KNOWWWW

but hear me out… Hear!!!!! me out I swear

when he’s determined, he can focus, it just takes … a bit too much in him to do that

not because he’s stupid, he’s super super smart when he’s actually trying

but you know… there are courses that are pain in the ass and you cannot even deny that

and as complete opposites.. you Do care about it, meanwhile he Does NOT give a shit about those

like he couldn’t care less if he failed introduction to philosophy

he doesn’t even know why he has to complete that course. like what’s the fucking point..

FUCK HEGEL???likeee

but you were hella determined to help him out and kind of motivate him

i mean, he wouldn’t mind a little extra cash as a scolarship either ???The least he can do is just sit down and study

that’s how it always have been anyways, ever since middle school

studying together at the library, solving math problems and talking shit in between two of these sessions

the latter part was hyuck’s favourite honestly, he’s such a shittalker fr (i get it, i am too)

he knows basically every gossip… that’s how it always have been! (he knew about the crush jisung had on one of the seniors back in high school and was sooooo into this little affair he singlehandedly ruined his chances… by accidentally spilling it all to the girlie… Oops was all he said too like LMFAO)

he starts and ends all of your uni study sessions with gossips as well honestly

he says it should be a sandwich (or some bullshit idk)–one nasty rumour, some molecular biology and one lighthearted gossip as a way to finish

letting some steam off

he’s not even sorry about it.. at least he has something to look forward to everytime you meet

he’s such a big gossiper it’s actually crazy

and when he gets soooo into it, his voice gets all squeaky and shit lol

him studying journalism doesn’t even help at all, like why is he so fucking interested in this

he says he wants to work at atlantic but… what are the chances? HE SHOULD STUDY

and that’s why you two were there!!! nose should be buried in books!!!!!!!

but his is… well, behind the screen of his phone, going through his instagram dms and showing off other girl’s messages

some extremely cute ones and some embarrassing love confessions as well

you cannot help but laugh when you see someone replying to his thirst trap stories with heart eyed emojis and shit

especially when you can recall how you literally called him a loser in your reply

i mean, you were right after all Lmfao

he knows you’re joking though.. he knows he’s hot as fuck and the most important: he knows that you know

but let’s get back to our main point ???Duh

you were Sat at one of the lesser crowded corners of the campus library, surrounded by a couple of notebooks, one half cup of coffee that has long gone cold, and your laptop–meanwhile hyuck only had one, pretty small notebook he used for every lecture he had, and it had been…

through a lot (as if a dog chewed on it or something but really it’s just that he didn’t care about it)

but anywaaaaays… in the first like, ten minutes he was actually working??? studying his stuff???? Even telling you some fun facts he could remember

like that’s how he is naturally, his method of learning is teaching at the same time as well

which is actually such a useful way imo, that’s how i do as well lmfao

but then you had to avert your attention and do the rest of your research paper to finally finish the project.. it had been ages since you’ve started and you were nowhere near the finish line

so he just.. went on his phone instead. he thrives on attention and when you’re not giving it to him… well YEAAAHHH

he intentionally puts the volume of his phone pretty high so he can annoy you with the sound of him typing and shit

going through tiktok and all

he’s such an asshole for that

but you like the presence of him. it’s soothing kinda that he’s .. there?? clearly not studying but keeping you company

i mean, doing this all alone would be rather depressing, isn’t it? You’re not a big fan of that

so he stays. because he’s aware.

and maybe, with some extra help, he could learn his material.. you just gotta take break more frequent so he can act like as if he was a lecturer ahah

mansplaining and shit ijbol

and at the end??? at the crack of the night??? walking you back to your dorm???? he’s the one offering you two should do this again soon

not tomorrow, he adds–there’s a frat party he’s expected to attend

but after that????He’s excited to do it again :P

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

heyyyyy idk if you do this sorta thing

if not totally fine but I still wanted to ask

Can I request something like headcannons of how ghost would react if maybe like a German reader met and got along w könig and maybe he would get jealous or possessive or something or just how would that go

take that to mean whatever you want 😈

sorry and thank you again

Jealous Ghost

I'm not one for like toxic possession or toxic jealousy, however there's a good middle ground so I tried.

A little suggestive at the end, jealous!Ghost, probably projecting my own abandonment issues here

It took a while for Ghost to get close with you, but just like Soap you somehow wiggled your way through his walls

You two became friends, sharing a lot of your spare time together

Both of you bonded over your different cultures too but it never really became something that either of you focused on

Soon, Ghost caught feelings and because of that he forced himself to keep them locked up tight no matter how much he wanted you

That was until König showed up

Ghost treated him the same as he always did with others, baseline respect and enough politeness to keep him as a co-worker

Then you met König and things started to change

You talked with him often, bonding over similar cultures and mostly speaking in German to each other

You both brightened up, you started spending time with him too and he couldn't help but think you felt more comfortable around König than Ghost

Ghost started to feel weird whenever he saw you two together, a mixture between sadness and anger, almost betrayal yet he told himself you had no obligation to stay friends with him

He started to pull back from spending time with you, suggesting you should go find König or he was busy

He felt out place when you both hung out and then König showed up

He started to resent König for no other reason than the fact that it felt like he was stealing you from him

Yet, Ghost said nothing to you. If you were happier with König then he had no right to ruin that for you

However, you noticed him pulling back and you were determined to fix whatever happened because you missed him a lot

You finally cornered him after his countless attempt to get you to go away

"What's going on with you?" You demanded as Ghost stared at you.

"I'm busy." He lied and it would've convinced you if you didn't know that he was done with all of his work for the day

"You're avoiding me."

Ghost didn't say anything, knowing that he was caught because you're too smart for him to trick

"Ever since König showed up, you're been acting weird." You said, feeling sad about the fact that your friend was slowly pushing away from you. "Why?"

As much as Ghost wanted to continue to lie to you he had to come to terms with his feelings

"You both have a lot more in common and he makes you happy. Guess I was just letting you both be together." He said and you looked up at him with shock.

Ghost was smart, but you've come to known that he forgets to just use his brain

You liked him too and you had only seen König as a friend

"Idiot." You rolled your eyes and Ghost glared at you. "I like you not him."

"What?" Ghost wasn't sure if he heard right or not until you repeated it. "Oh."

You both stood there for a second, unsure of what to do before you tugged on the sleeve of his jacket

"Are you going to kiss me?" You wondered, hoping he would

He didn't hesitate to and after a long make out session, you broke apart breathless, an idea in your mind

"Make me yours." You whispered in his ear

And he didn't disappoint

[sw33tsuccubus]

𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐎𝐮𝐭

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jason todd x gn!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: the power goes out, and reader gets a visitor.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 883

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: not really. reader has a job, reader leaves a door unlocked.

𝐀/𝐍: idk how/why i wrote this but here it is

Your phone pressed between your shoulder and your tilted head, you type away at your computer. If this assignment isn’t finished by tomorrow, your boss is going to be at your throat.

“Did you hear me, Y/n?”

You blink. Had Jason said anything? You tear your eyes from your screen, looking outside the window. The rain is still pouring, a flash of lightning appearing every few minutes. You turn your attention back to your computer.

“No, sorry. Can you repeat what you said?”

“I said that you should probably take a break. I’m about to go to bed, and we both know that it’s not normal for me to sleep before you.”

You nibble at your bottom lip. You still have plenty of work to do. No way you can stop now.

“I don’t know, Jay. There’s still so much I need to cover.”

“Just take a break. You need to refresh your mind and breathe a little.”

Your eyes ghosted over what you have down, silently checking for typos and grammar mistakes. Seeing none, you check what else you need. Honestly, not much. Roughly two paragraphs of work, you should be finished in less than twenty minutes, with the editing and stuff you’ll need to do.

“I’ll almost finish soon anyways, no point.”

You could hear rustling on his end, like he was getting into bed. He sighs.

“Don’t overwork yourself.”

“I’m not going to. Besides-“

You’re cut off as the entire room goes dark. You gasp, tapping different buttons on the computer. You then stand and peak outside the window. The apartment complex across from yours also seems to have gone out of power.

“What happened?”

Your boyfriend’s voice comes through the phone. You hope up and try the light switch, groaning when it doesn’t work.

“The storm cut the power. Same with the people across the road.”

He hums in acknowledgement on the other line. You make quick work of finding your candle cabinet, placing them around the apartment before looking for your lighter. You stumble over your own feet on your way to the kitchen, thumping on your side.

“What was that?”

Jason’s voice cuts through, laced with concern. He always worried about you. Props of being a Wayne, you guessed.

“I can’t see, tripped on my own feet. I’m fine.”

You stand, getting back to the kitchen and searching the drawers.

“I’m coming over.”

You can hear more rustling on his end. You smile. Of course he is, you could’ve lost your favorite movie DVD and he’d be on his way. You hear a zipper. Probably his leather jacket.

“Alright. I’m just looking for my lighter so that I can light my candles and have light sources.”

Once you find your lighter, you make a small noise of triumph. As your neck starts to cramp, you grab your phone to put the call on speaker. Nothing happens when you tap the screen or when you press the power button. Oh, it died.

You sigh, exasperated. Such a night. You can’t finish your project for work, your phone dies so you can’t communicate with the world, you can feel your apartment grow more cold since the heaters off, and all of your candles are about to be used up. You hope Jason shows up soon, so that you don’t wait for long. Also so that he doesn’t get pneumonia, since he prefers riding his bike over his car.

Once all the candles are lighted, you make your way to your bedroom. You slip into a sweater and crawl under the duvet. You had unlocked your door, knowing you wouldn’t want to get up to open it for Jason. Hopefully it’ll actually be your boyfriend opening the door, rather than some random person.

He didn’t take long. You hear the door open, and soon footsteps tread through your apartment. They stop behind your bedroom door, which slowly opens to reveal a familiar face. You smile at him, and he smiles back.

“You shouldn’t leave the door unlocked.”

“I knew you were coming, and I didn’t feel like getting back up into the cold to open the door.”

He shakes his head, kicking off his shoes and taking off his jacket.

“It’s still dangerous, Y/n. What if it hadn’t been me?”

“I knew you would’ve beaten whoever came in, since you were on the way.”

He climbs into bed beside you, pulling you against his chest. He sighs, wishing you’d be more careful. You cuddle up to him, wanting to sap up his warmth.

“At least you can sleep now. You wouldn’t have if you still had access to your computer.”

You frown.

“My boss is gonna be so mad.”

“Well, it wasn’t your fault. Tell him the truth, your power went out.”

One of Jason’s hands curl into your hair, gently massaging your head. You sigh, melting against him.

“Fine.”

He smiles, pleased.

“Now sleep. I can tell you’re tired.”

You swallow, pressing your cheek against his chest. He was warmth in the cold. Your own little heater. Your eyes close, and he lets out a content sigh as he closes his eyes as well. He makes sure you fall asleep before he does, so that you don’t try getting up to do the work while he’s out cold. Hypocrite.

[kichiyosh1]

He takes advantage of your feelings for him

modern au!scaramouche x reader

Ain't it nice when your crush is aware you have a crush on him and instead of being a prick and outright rejecting you he leads you on instead☺

warnings: it's in the title, good ending

༒༆࿐ཽ༵☆

It all started when he overheard one of your friends teasing you for taking a liking to him, which you were doing a horrible job at denying, with how quickly you stuttered out your words in protest. He might use this to his advantage, get you to do a couple of stuff for him and tease you a little bit in the process. Of course, he doesn't plan to return your feelings, pfft, no way in Celestia is that ever gonna happen. Totally no way would he actually start to appreciate you for something as minor as that.

How fortunate unfortunate of you to be his target out of the many others that also liked him, but why did he choose you? convenience? your naivety? who knows.

He wanted to test how far this crush of yours on him was, so the next morning he put his plan into action.

He never actually greets anyone he passes by, usually hanging around outside the school before the bell rings or just having his arms folded on his desk while he dozzes off, but today he put in the effort to say good morning to you before he rounded a corner.

Quickly doing a 180° turn right after to see your reaction, and low and behold you had your back to the wall, slowly sliding down, face in your hands.

Oh, so you really had it that bad for him, huh.

He was playing a dangerous game here, one that he was determined to win, and one he knew he would thoroughly enjoy.

Moves he'd make on you were subtle, but to you, from what he thinks, should be more than just subtle interactions, but meaningful ones.

He'd intentionally lean down right beside your ear, talking in a sweet voice as he pretends to ask questions while pointing at the notes he's seen you write down.

He knows the effect he has on you, can see how your hands struggle to hold your pen while your voice slowly becomes meeker as you explain the answer.

"Cute"

He didn't even realize what he said until he saw your hand stop moving. Luckily, everything still went into his favor when you abruptly stood up and quickly explained you had something to discuss with your friend, but he could clearly see how flustered you were.

He let's out a sigh of relief. 'It's alright, I meant to do that, just trying to butter up that idiot for the next step in my plan, yeah'

Something of uneasiness steers within him, but he ignores it.

These were just feelings of interest he's PRETENDING to have for you in order to gain your trust, nothing more and nothing less. It's all an act to get you to do stuff for him

But he has yet to realize the fast pace of his heart was the same as yours

Most of his assignments were already complete thanks to you, projects and reports he's forgotten to do, you are currently dealing with them.

It baffles him how easy and gullible you are

The guilt nips at his feet, but he strengthens his resolve saying you would have fallen for somebody else, and they would have done way worse things to you. (he gets a little agitated thinking about it, whether they'd use you for their own benefit or return your feelings, it makes him sick)

guilt tripping you didn't make it easier either

he wonders if you are aware of what he's doing, and even if you were then that's alright with him.

He'll keep this up, for as long as your heart continues to beat for him.

Its really short.

was gonna write a nsfw route but idk if i should since I'm really tired😪

[strwbnnie]

chileee what is up with me & angst 😭 I was able to salvage this from my notes so I thought why not post it lol probably my first and last aot piece cause idk how to write them fr 😭 & sorry to the Reiner loves cause I wrote him so mean 😭

cw: fat shaming, fat phobia, best friend Eren, ex-boyfriend Reiner, mention of cheating, verbal abuse, mention of k!lling, friends to lovers, one sided pining, sorry if I missed anything!

Word count is undetermined but it’s not that long.

❀

Eren hasn’t said a word to you since you arrived at his apartment, puffy eyed and soaking wet from the rain, just stepped out of the way and allowed you to walk in. 

You didn’t blame him, it’d been quite a while since the two of you had last spoken. Two or three weeks maybe, you couldn’t remember. It was difficult keeping track of time when your mind was slowly but surely shutting down. Either way it made you feel like shit. 

You wanted to to sit and talk to him but your first priority was getting out of those wet clothes. You went straight to his bedroom, closing yourself in the en-suite.

You let the shower run for a little bit, fogging up the room and hopefully drowning out your sorrow as you sit on the covered toilet, aimlessly scrolling. You checked the notifications on your phone, tapping around until you heard your ex-boyfriend’s voice projecting from the speakers. 

“Baby, just come back home. Please, let’s just talk about it.” “Hear me out, Y/N. I’m sorry okay, just come back.”

The way he was pleading you’d think he actually gave a damn about you.

“Come on Y/N,” There’s a short pause and a deep sigh. You know it’s coming. You hear the change in his tone, that false compassion and empathy has withered away. “Let’s face it, Y/N. Nobody’s gonna want you but me. Nobody’s into fat bitches. You’re lucky your face is cute. Nothing but a pretty face and a hole to fuck. Or should I say holes? I’m sure a slut like you takes it up the ass too-.”

Globs of hot tears ran down your face, budding at your chin and pooling on the screen of your phone. You deleted the nasty voice message Reiner left, only thirteen seconds into the minute and twelve second voice message, his harsh words breaking your heart all over again. 

The wound was still fresh and he did nothing but cut you deeper. Why was he like that???

Blocking his number so you wouldn’t receive anymore, you were ready to be done with this shit. Ready to heal from Reiner and all the bullshit he‘s put you through.

After your eyes are cried out and your skin is parched from the piping hot water, you finally exit. 

You didn’t leave with anything except your purse, phone and the clothes on your back, so you’re more than grateful to see a white tshirt and a towel on Eren’s bed waiting for you. The shirt was a little tight on your arms and the hem ended right at the cusp of your butt but it was better than nothing. 

The California King in his bedroom looked freshly made, plush and inviting, but you’d spent far too many nights alone in an empty bed while your so-called partner occupied another. You should’ve known that’s how it’d be when you decided to get yourself into a domesticated situationship with a narcissistic cheater.

You opted for the couch, where Eren was also sitting. He’s munching on a bowl of cereal watching some crime documentary. The atmosphere is dull, but it’s not as bad as you thought it’d be.

“Hey!”

He didn’t bother feigning the same excitement, sending nothing but a head nod you’re way but you’re still grateful to get something out of him.

Maybe he was annoyed, which he had every right to be. It was late as hell, around three in the morning, and you honestly felt a little bad. Showing up out of the blue and forcing him to share his space. 

“I really appreciate you letting me stay here, there were no rooms available anywhere.”

He ignored you, you figured he would. He hasn’t said much since you’ve been there. He’s treating you as if you’re a stranger, almost.

Unfortunately the documentary has lost all of his interest, he figured out the wife was the killer all along and there’s no reason to keep watching. 

Now he’s stretching out, manspreading if you will, with his legs cocked open. He’s sporting that same bored look, except now he’s on his phone watching TikTok’s with his volume obnoxiously loud.

Honestly, he didn’t even touch this app unless he was watching the shit ton of videos you sent him at some manic hour of the night. But right now he needed something to distract him. To distract him from everything only you made him feel.

“I get paid Friday, I can send you something once it’s deposited, my money lookin kinda funny right now so...” 

You’d spent close to your last getting an Uber to Eren’s. You weren’t sure why you even decided to come to Eren’s. Your parents lived in the same city and they probably would’ve been more welcoming than he was being right about now. 

“When have I ever asked you to pay me back for anything y/n?” 

His tone isn’t cold or mean, but indifferent. Like he doesn’t care. You’re sure he doesn’t. 

The tension is almost tangible, thick and suffocating.

“I know, but-“ You cut yourself off, stumbling over your words. Your throat is scratchy and your mouth dry. You didn’t know exactly what to say to mend things between you and your bestfriend. 

You hoped to pick up the pieces. Pickup where you left off like the two of y’all always did. But this here just showed how dumb and deluded you really were.

“I’m sorry…you were right.” You feel ashamed. Embarrassed even.

You can feel him staring at you, so you keep your eyes glued to your hands in your lap, twirling your thumbs in hopes to make amends. 

“What are you talking about, y/n?” You can feel his gaze boring into you.

“About Reiner…and every-everything else really. We not getting back together, forreal this time, I can’t.”

He was right about everything. Reiner was an immature asshole. You trusted his smooth talking, pretty smile and it backfired horrendously. 

Reiner was verbally abusive, insecure and mean, and he projected it without a care. Tore you down every chance he got, belittling you until you were almost an empty shell of your former self. 

On top of that, he was insensitive as hell, bullied you worse than any of those middle and high school nobodies you no longer remembered.

He’d probably use his last breath to lie, just because. If you were blind he’d tell you the sun was blue and the sky was yellow, for no reason whatsoever other than to be a dick. 

All of this Eren warned you about, but you just had to go and see for yourself. You fell for the first boy to show interest in you. The first to give you attention and affection. The first one who wasn’t looking to ‘try it out’ with a fat girl or looked at you like some pity case. 

So you thought. 

“You’ve said that before.”

“I know! But I mean it this time, and I’m so sorry for ghosting you and lying a-and putting him first before our friendship cause..I know you wouldn’t do that to me and I’m such an awful person-.”

Your sniffles turned into sobs, deep sobs that shook your entire body against his when he finally went against his stubborn ways and pulled you into a hug. 

You sound sincere, but Eren doesn’t know if he believes you. Hell it wouldn’t be the first time you lied to him about getting back with Reiner.

He wanted to tell you off. Scold you and yell at you for abandoning him. For giving him your ass to kiss cus you thought you were in love, only to come crawling back asking him to pick up the fucking pieces, again.

“I should’ve listened to you.”

Words muffled into his chest but he heard you. 

“You should’ve.” He doesn’t mean to sound condescending but it’s true. “I don’t like seeing you cry.” 

His voice startled you a little bit, velvety and deep, chest rumbling as he still had you pressed up against his frame. The aloof facade cracking with each sob. 

“I’ll handle it.”

He’d handle it. Handle him. 

His arms embraced you tighter. One holding you against him while the other ran down your back, over your thigh then back up again as he allowed you to bawl your eyes out.

“I hate when you talk like that Ren,” You leaned back to look at him. “You know I don’t like unnecessary viole-.” 

He grabs your face mid sentence, squishing your cheeks together, your lips round and pouty as you stared back at him. 

“How’s it unnecessary when my princess is sitting here with tears running down her pretty ass face?”

It slipped but he made no attempt to correct it.

His princess. He’d always called you a princess, especially when y’all were younger. He found it very intriguing how spoiled you were, especially by the men in your life. Dad, uncles, even Eren himself. 

He remembers saving up his little paychecks from working part time to spoil you as well, buying you little trinkets and gifts you probably didn’t even have anymore. 

Nothing was unnecessary when it came to his princess. He’d die for you. Kill for you, even. You were the light of his dim life. Why wouldn’t you just realize it?

[brostateexam]

Have not been saying much for a while because everything is hard.

I. My BiL has had c diff three times now and after the third time the oncologist decided to take a damn the torpedoes approach because they were wasting weeks that should have been devoted to chemo because he was too sick and too weak to withstand outpatient treatment. I haven't seen him irl since December but my mom says he looks rough and if his immune system is so messed up that he keeps getting c diff idk that I really want to visit him. What if I get him sick?

All of this is background to me, though, because mostly I'm invested in my sister. She wants to divorce him. He needs to be better enough that she won't face ostracization for doing so. I am invested in him getting better enough for that to proceed for her sake.

II. Something about my relationship with my mom has been bothering me and I finally figured out what it is: everything is equally important to her. She doesn't prioritize anything. If I am having a tough time and ask for help she'll say "well I'm busy every day this week but I can come over next week in Thursday for ninety minutes" and then when she comes over I ask her what she was up to, both to make conversation and because I'm nosy, and it's like... she volunteered for a clothing drive at the synagogue. She went grocery shopping. She went to a farmer's market. Thanks for fitting me into your schedule, I guess! Glad to know I am on the same level as farm fresh tomatoes.

III. I have been having a really tough time of it for the last few months. The vacation in Mexico was... Not restful. Shane had a seizure on the plane and I spent the first two days managing logistics related to that (and navigating the extra ~$2k I spent covering his medical costs while on the trip). His back is still fucked up almost two months later and so I get to do extra housework and chores because he can't lift or bend without being in pain.

IV. Resultant to III, I had a really awful period of about a month with an online friend who started being super short and terse with me because I've been around online less. It was really clear he felt like I was ditching him to go hang out with my cool friends or something, instead of the reality of the situation: I'm cleaning litter boxes and doing yard work and changing the sheets on the bed aka #livingthedream. I told him about all the stuff that was going on but it was clear he didn't believe me or resented my absence nevertheless. This came to a head with me basically texting him an essay about why he was being a bad friend. In a turn of good news, he listened, and apologized, and we mended fences. That was nice because I just don't know how much more bad news I can take right now.

V. I've been struggling with work but really it's just. My boss. My coworkers like me. My project sponsors like me. My skip level likes me. My exec likes me. It's just him. We don't have a good relationship and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know that it is fixable. This is a problem because this is the guy I need in my corner to advance my career and I don't know that he'll do that for me. The alternative is leaving my company, which sounds attractive on paper but in practice the job market is so so bad and it's just so discouraging. The idea of a new job sounds incredible. I wish I could do that. Maybe even a career change.

VI. Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen because of financial pressures. NGL, as much as I like my house (and I do -- I love its little windows, I love my pink dining nook and green bedroom, I love the mature fruit trees and pretty backyard full of wildflowers), I wish i had the cash in hand, instead. I feel trapped here, and like I'm making the most of it. That's a shit feeling to have.

VII. I've started regaining weight. Not a lot. Fifteen pounds since October. But it's scaring me. It's making me wonder if this whole surgery thing was pointless because I can't seem to stop myself from wanting to eat myself to death. So I'm trying to beat it back without resorting to "diet culture behaviors" (read: disordered eating) and that's tough.

There could be a separate post for things that are going well perhaps, but this is what's going not so well and it feels like a lot. Sometimes it feels like too much.

[zeroeightzeroone]

in this lifetime and the next - seo changbin

genre: angst? hurt/comfort? idk two exes are talking about their past relationship

pairing: ex-boyfriend, non-idol!seo changbin x ex-girlfriend!femreader

notes: if this looks familiar, my secondary blog 'zerothreetwentyfive ' was deleted by tumblr (idk why) so i'm republishing everything here on my main blog.

wc ~2.5k | moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:

"how…" he clears his throat, "how have you been?"

his eyes are fixed on the night sky. even with the knowledge that he isn't looking in your direction, you still shrug before replying, "i've been… okay."

if someone told you three years ago you'd be lying under the millions of stars sparkling up within the dark night sky, next to your ex-boyfriend, you would've been convinced that person was out of their mind. especially, if that person told you that throughout the trip you would find yourselves alone together coincidentally, eventually finding yourselves sober and in the comfort of your ex-partner laid next to you. a cool breeze drifting by once in a while and everyone else who came onto the trip were either drunk or passed out inside the cottage. 

you really would've called an intervention. convinced that they were far too delusional for their own good.

then again, you from three years ago would have never believed there'd come a day when your boyfriend would become your ex. where he would become someone of your past. you from three years ago could not even fathom, nor entertain the possibility of being away from the man, of living without the man. the man you loved more than anything or anyone. a statement that holds true to this day.

truthfully, you believed that he would be the one you would love and be loved by for eternity. believing that you waited your whole life, for everything in the universe to align, paving the path to meet the man you were fated for, the man you would call the one:

seo changbin.

"work's been good? school? life?" changbin's voice is quite soft and his tone is a bit awkward. 

he's tiptoeing around his words, trying to figure out how you feel about him. weighing out what you could and couldn't speak about or if you should be speaking at all. the thought of overstepping and potentially making you uncomfortable sits in the back of his mind.

"they've been… more or less the same," you answer.

it's different without you, you think to yourself. 

his absence was something you could never get used to after the breakup. three years later and that sense of emptiness looms over your head.  

"i got promoted last year," you add.

"oh really? that's great to hear!" changbin's tone is excited but at the same time it's uneasy.

of course, he's excited, and he's proud of you but he still doesn't know how you feel about him right now. what if he makes you uncomfortable with too much excitement? or a lack of excitement? changbin's treading lightly.

"… uh… sorry–"

"—how about you? how have you been?" you're quick to cut him off. 

if you didn't, changbin would go on rambling and apologizing; something you picked up on very early into your relationship. the man lying next to you apologizes for everything, regardless of if he is at fault or not. even if there is no fault, he finds himself apologizing anyway.

"last i remember you were working a big project."

changbin blinks, taken aback by the sudden interruption but he composes himself quickly, "o-oh! i've been doing good as well. happy that it's done."

"how'd it go?" you wonder.

"it was... definitely a lot more than we expected to take on. the clients decided they wanted to expand more on their vision. change up a lot of pre-made plans."

"ah, i see... i can't tell if that's good or bad?"

"i'd say it's both," you can hear the slight smile in his tone, "a lot of work done being scrapped which, y'know, isn't exactly ideal. but they agreed to pay us more which is good. i'd say we were rewarded adequately for the work we put in."

you hum, "well, then, i'm happy for you."

silence looms in the air between the two of you. neither of you knows what to say to the other, how to continue a conversation. 

the both of you stare up at the stars overhead; most of which you aren't able to see on a daily due to the light pollution in the city. while there is a silence that has fallen between you two, it's not an uncomfortable one. neither of you are itching to escape an awkward atmosphere, to escape being around your ex. instead you find yourselves in a comfortable space in the presence of the one lying next to you.

basking in a presence neither of you has had the opportunity to be comforted by, let alone be around, in the past three years.

you find yourself instinctively fiddling with the ends of your hoodie sleeves, pulling them over your hands and hiding them inside. beside you, changbin adjusts his arm to rest behind his head while the other one rests on his stomach.

"y'know what this reminds me of?" he says suddenly, in a hushed tone, "reminds me of our two-year anniversary."

tearing your eyes off the sky, you turn your head to changbin's direction. 

you let your eyes linger on him for a moment. entranced by how the stars and the moon illuminate his features in such a soft and gentle manner. it's been three years since you've been this physically close to changbin, let alone seen the man, you can't help but analyze his features like it's the first time. looking over the features you fell in love with way back when.

changbin looks just as amazing as ever, maybe even more attractive. he still sports those soft, dark curls in his shaggy hair that falls right under his eyes. he's more buff in comparison to when you last saw him three years ago.

the longer you let your eyes look over him, the more you're taken back, that sense of nostalgia washing over you. he's right, this moment is reminiscent of your two-year anniversary. 

you remember the months leading up to that day as if it were yesterday.

you remember repeatedly asking your boyfriend how you two should celebrate the milestone that was coming just around the corner. in response, he would always say he would be the one to take care of everything and that all you needed to do was sit back and relax. 

the boy was clad in light blue denim jeans, a navy varsity-styled jacket with a white shirt underneath, his hair tousled as it fell in front of his black-rimmed glasses when he knocked at your door. greeting your family before whisking you away for a night you will never forget.

changbin quite literally drove you off into the sunset, one hand gripping the wheel whilst his other held your hand in his. the both of you belting out to the playlist you created together, one that grew as each day passed. 

by the time you arrived at your destination, the sun had set behind the skyline as the dark sky loomed over the city. you remember the way your jaw slacked in awe at the breathtaking sight of all the stars. 

"i've never been this close to the stars! they're so much closer from up here!" 

you stood there gaping at the stars for what felt like eternity, while changbin stood beside you, his eyes full of affection as he stared at you. oh, his eyes. you would think he captured the stars in his eyes with the way they sparkled at the sight of you. that night on the hill, you and changbin were laid next to each other on the hood of his car, cuddled in each other's arms as you talked about anything and everything that came into your minds.

there you were in the arms of your lover, alone together in your own starry heaven. everything seized to exist other than you and your intertwined hearts.

you and changbin, together against the world.

nothing will ever come close to that level of perfection. that ethereal moment you've etched into your brain, you'd much rather be damned than to have that moment wiped from your memory.

"yeah… it does. the sky, the stars… just... everything brings me back."

"it was definitely not as chilly that night," changbin smiles.

half of his statement refers to the weather and the other half refers to how you were huddled up next to him that night. as opposed to now, where the space between your bodies lets in a cool draft.

you chuckle and shake your head, "the weather was great, not too hot and not too cold. just perfect."

lying next to him, reminiscing on your two-year anniversary as a couple has a question popping up in your minds.

if given the chance, would you go back? would you choose each other again?

the question is nothing new. a recurring thought over the past three years. 

over the past three years, you've collected a pool of unanswered questions regarding your relationship with changbin: the how's, what's, when's and why's. how could you not wonder? nothing in the world could surpass your love for seo changbin.

three years later and you have never loved as deeply as you have for the man beside you.

you're both listening to the steady breaths of the one lying next you as both your minds run a mile a minute. allowing a brief silence to settle before changbin is the one to break the silence.

"i'm sorry."

"sorry? ...for what?"

"just… everything."

when you turn to look in changbin's direction, your eyes meet for the first time that night. god, it feels as if your heart stopped at that exact moment. the delay was so long you could have dropped dead right there.

but you lived off the way your eyes locked with changbin's. finding your breath again with each twinkle of the stars reflecting off his black-rimmed glasses. finding your pulse starting up again, this time beating out of your chest as his deep brown eyes bore into your own. breathing the life back into you.

your gazes soften, a wave of nostalgia washing over the both of you; a memory of what you once had together.

a breath of the life you shared three years ago.

you stare at each other wordlessly. soaking in a feeling of comfort neither of you has felt in three years, one you only received from the one lying next to you.

"i'm sorry too. for everything."

"it's not your fault," he shakes his head, "i fell short in the end and i wasn't the boyfriend you deserved."

you're shaking your own head, "i was a terrible girlfriend. i wouldn't have stayed with me either."

"you were–are– amazing," changbin states, "you've always been."

"that's not true. don't say that, i know i hurt you with the things i said."

somewhere along the line of your relationship with changbin, things started to go awry. your lives began to clash; school and work priorities building and creating distance between you two. it felt like your relationship was slowly slipping away, schedules ran tight and pressures ran high. 

you remember petty arguments, the back-and-forth bickering between the both of you when you were able to see each other. 

"and i hurt you. i was never there when you needed me, i promised you that you could trust me, depend on me but i broke that in the end."

"that's not your fault. i couldn't be there when you needed me either."

"and that wasn't your fault either, our schedules didn't line up anymore."

"but… i could've tried har—"

"there was only so much we could do and you tried your absolute hardest," changbin interrupts you, "time just... wasn't on our side."

you hate to admit that even without the petty, groundless arguments, the end was inevitable. 

your relationship no longer fit into the other's increasingly hectic schedule, any and all the attempts came with sacrifices with school or work, and in the end, there was no healthy way to incorporate that time for each other. all the time you did spend together was plagued by stress and high tensions, only pushing you two further apart. 

no matter how hard you tried to salvage your relationship, everything else tried even harder to ruin it.  

the anger and dejection only grew stronger as time passed. the both of you wondering why things weren't going your way no matter how hard you worked for it. you felt dejected that your efforts came without fruition. upset that the time you did have together was limited, fleeting and full of the pressures your individual lives were weighing on you. 

"can i ask something?" your voice is almost inaudible but changbin hums in response, "why did you leave when you did?"

changbin blinks slowly as he processes your words.

"i didn't want things to get worse."

"what do you mean?"

"i didn't want to end things between us on a bad note. for us to part ways hating each other."

"i could never hate you."

"maybe, but we'd grow to resent each other even if we didn't mean to. wondering if our efforts were in vain, that no matter how hard we tried the universe worked harder against us."

"did you… resent me in the end?"

"i would've rather died instead of growing to hate or resent you."

your head snaps in his direction and his to yours. your eyes wide with shock at how he said that without hesitation.

"what we had between us, i didn't want it to be overshadowed by months of arguing."

changbin has never loved anyone the way he loves you. 

early on in your relationship, changbin wholeheartedly believed you were the best thing to ever happen to him. no one cared for him, accepted him and understood him in the way you did. no one made him as happy as you did.

when he realized that your relationship became a source of stress in your increasingly hectic lives, he made the difficult decision to leave.

the people that come in and out of your life come either as a blessing or a lesson; changbin believes you are a blessing in his life.

people slip in and out of your life, fuck around and make you rethink everything. the memories of them are associated with the phrases: "i should have known better" or "you learn from your mistakes".

and he would rather be damned than to be a lesson.

he knew that with the direction both your lives were headed into at the time, the end was inevitable and if things between you two had to end then, in your out-of-control lives, he wanted the last semblance of control here.

"the thought of losing you scared me shitless," changbin continues, "but what scared me even more was that you could one day regret all of this, everything we had. that you would leave regretting ever loving me."

"… i didn't know you were thinking that way," your voice trails off at the end, thoughts still delayed as you process the words of your ex-boyfriend lying next to you.

you take a moment before you continue.

"at one point, i wasn't even mad or upset with you anymore... i was mad at the universe. the circumstances."

when you and changbin broke up, you often wondered what the universe had in store for you after such excruciating heartbreak. but the pain didn't even stop with changbin; it seemed like the universe had it against you as else in your life began to downward spiral. 

you struggled to adjust to the growing hustle and bustle of your life while also struggling to adapt without your person.

oftentimes, you imagined taking a trek up to climb the tallest mountain in the world. exerting all that blood, sweat and tears for the opportunity to let everything out into the void. you imagined standing on the highest point on earth would be as physically close as you could get to the universe. 

maybe from up there, the universe would be able to hear the desperation, the pain that came from wondering what you did to deserve this; to have loved so passionately and to have lost, to experience such excruciating pain.

if the universe didn't align for a life with changbin, you laid awake wondering what it did align for. if it would be worth it. 

what could be more worth it than him? 

with a bittersweet smile on your lips you say, "nothing aligned for us in this lifetime. maybe, in the next lifetime."

you're trying your hardest to control and suppress your emotions as your eyes gloss over, tears threatening to fall. changbin's eyes stay fixed on you as he, much like you did earlier, analyzes your features all over again as if it was the first time.

changbin pays close attention to every detail, etching it into his mind.

"whose to say that?" changbin's eyes meet your own once again, a glint present in his chocolate brown orbs, "this lifetime isn't over yet."

your eyes, still blown wide with surprise, meet changbin's. you would think he captured the stars in his eyes with the way they sparkled at the sight of you.

"in this lifetime and the next, i'll love you."

"does that mean you'll love me for eternity?"

"our love is so strong it transcends lifetimes. we'll always find our way back to each other."

main masterlist

[harryswhorehome-blog]

Neighbors 5

Hi my friends. What a surprise seeing you here. Okay, actually I’m sorry I haven’t been active. I’ve been going through it and everytime I promise to come back something was always getting in the way, but thankfully I should have more free time in my life soon. That means more stories and I’ll actually finish this little series I love so so much and write more. I really appreciate all the love and support I get from all of you and the community you created. I hope I don’t disappoint, but I’ve been rusty. I won’t promise to make a huge comeback because the past hasn’t been in my favor, but I will say that I’ll try better and not leave you to hang dry. Okay that’s it I love love love you guys hope you like… :)

Summary: y/n has a school assignment and Harry can’t stop himself from fantasizing.

Warning: smut 18+, cum swapping, daddy kink, degradation kink, praise kink (idk how, but they both are here), Jealousy, cheating, age gap (she’s 18), breeding kink, pregnancy kink, mentions of school, pregnancy (she’s not pregnant lol neither is Olivia) fluff, and olivia wilde? (if there’s any more tell me plz)

WordCount:3k+

My phone dings as I finish up getting ready. My friend Sophie texted me reminding me to leave my house soon because I have to return the pregnancy belly for my parenting class. The same damn parenting class that made me too busy to see my Harry for the past week.

I had this pregnancy belly for two days straight. Since I finish most of my classes, I get to leave three classes earlier. Thankfully being a “gifted student” gave me first choice in classes leaving me to be ahead of my other friends. Because of that I have to return to school wearing this horrible sack of 30 pounds.

I walk down the stairs quickly and more carefully because if I run down too fast I’ll probably topple over with the extra weight in my front.

Before I run to the door a familiar figure catches my eye. I slow down to the kitchen island where my dad and Harry are talking. He leaned over the table trying to look at whatever my dad was showing him.

Harry immediately looks at me with wide eyes, whilst my dad laughs and explains to him “ she’s in a parenting class so she’s been wearing that since yesterday”. Harry nods and laughs lightly as he shakes his head and rubs his face with one hand. I smile and wave acknowledging his presence. 

My father and Harry continue their conversation while I purposely walk around the kitchen ‘getting water’. My dad shows him the new route they want to build for the country club so they can expand the golf course. I can’t help but smile to myself to see the British man trying so hard not to eye me up and down. His leg bounces up and down and he furrows his brows in fake interest leaning toward my dad as if he is looking at the map, but his eyes bore into me. 

I haven’t seen him for a few days because of my project and him visiting Los Angeles for some work. Olivia was with him in LA, but stayed back for one week. So I know he’s a horny as it gets and has been waiting for this for a long time. Plus seeing me in a pregnancy belly and his not so secret breeding kink is makes this so much better. 

I walk out to leave after my hefty glass of water partially regretting my decision, because this belly is pressing on my stomach. Stepping into my favorite car my phone pings with a text who I think is from Sophie, but actually turns out to be Harry. 

Harry: What made you think you can get away with walking around like that? I’ll make sure that thing is real when I’m done with you.

Harry: do whatever you have to do and go to my house. I better see you naked on my bed.

I decided to not be as bratty, because I know how much of a grump he is when he’s horny so I responded quickly. 

Me: what do you mean? I wasn’t doing anything on purpose. I’ll go over to you soon. 

I throw my phone onto the seat next to mine and take my usual route to school. 

After dropping off the pregnancy belly. I stop by home to drop my car off and walk to the back of my house where I cut through my backyard secretly and make my way through his back door. I take the oddly familiar path I used to take when I was younger. Reliving the time I used to secretly leave my house to get cookies from our old neighbor. Sadly, she moved out to a retirement home in Florida. So my cookie days are over, but I do get a hot man. 

I walk through his backyard making my way to the usually unlocked door, where I meet the familiar living room. The moment my feet hit the carpet of his bedroom, I start stripping myself of my clothes. My dress falls to my feet, as I start to unclip my bra, following orders. 

I look at the time realizing that Harry wouldn’t be back anytime soon or soon enough because I’m quite impatient horny. I lay back on his comfy bed as I wait for the curly haired man to make his way back. 

I stare off into space for a while until the sound of a cough catches my attention. Thankfully the cough came from one handsome man. He looks at me with a smile before walking towards me. I sit back on my elbows and smile, while he burns holes into my body with his staring. 

“I love seeing you like this, all ready for me” he continues “you know how much I like you right? How much I care about you?” I nod looking up. He smiles at my reaction and places his palm to my cheek using his thumb to rub my cheek sweetly “good because I need you to remember how much because I’m about to fuck you like I don’t” he say before placing his lips onto mine, keeping his hand on my cheek and his other resting on my hips.

He kisses me so feverishly so deeply that I start to lose air quickly. I pull back to breath but my eyes see his. I barely see anymore green just his pupils. He goes back down while his other hand moves from my hips to my tits grabbing onto them. His fingers play with my nipples pulling a prodding. I moaned loudly, but it was covered by his lips.

 Harry pulls back this time to see the pleasure on my face “ look at you baby? So desperate for it. I know you want it so bad” I moan in response 

“such pretty tits” he murmurs “can’t wait to see what they look like swollen when you have my baby in you” he says before lowering his mouth on my nipple sucking and teething on it. He doesn’t leave my other boob lonely with his ring cover hands playing and pulling on it. 

I moan in pleasure from the stimulation. Harry’s eyes looked up at me as he mouthed on my tits. Watching him on me was too much and I started looking for something to relieve me. When my hips bucked up from Harry sucking too hard. I learned to realize what I can do. My core starts rubbing on his thigh, while he lays on top of me, but before I can do anymore he stands up looking at me disapprovingly “god you’re such a whore rubbing on me because what? Are you feeling achy? You can wait”

I pout at his words looking at him with lust in my eyes. He stands back up at the foot of the bed. I watch as he pulls his shirt off, messing with his perfectly messy hair leaving one curly strand hanging off his forehead. His finger meets the button of his trousers making my eyes stare directly at the hard on he’s rocking. 

“You wanna do it baby? Go ahead, take me out” he says. I sit back up and look into his eyes staring at his fully blown pupils. I kiss his lower stomach and smile back up at him. His ring clad hand makes its way to my cheek rubbing my face, I lean into his hand. “ C'mon bunny don’t leave daddy waiting”. 

I listen and finally open his trousers and pull in down. I see the outline of his cock and my eyes follow to the tip to see it having a wet spot with precum. I kiss his tip through his boxers causing him to moan. I look up to see  Harry furrowing his eyebrows in desperation. “ Please puppy, I need you. You think you can take me in your mouth?”

I nod eagerly while taking him out of his boxers. My eyes widen in surprise as I see how red his poor tip is. I kiss his head again causing him to sigh heavily. I start doing kitten licks on his tip before slowly putting him into my mouth. He groans in satisfaction that he has some sort of relief. I slowly take him in my mouth till he’s close to the back of my throat . I feel his cock slip deeper and deeper. I start to swallow around his cock making him moan. I look up at him to see Harry’s jaw slack and eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. He puts his hold in my hair pushing himself deeper causing me to unintentionally gag and swallow around him in reflex.  

“Fuck” he breathes out “ feels so good when you swallow around me, can feel you squeezing around me”  the brunette moans. 

I do it again, making Harry’s hips jut up, making me gag and cough. He pulls me off his cock and grabs my face by my chin pulling me in “I’m sorry felt so good didn’t mean to. Are you okay baby? I’m so sorry” he said with concern on his face. His other hand tries to soothe me by cupping my face while he runs his thumb up and down my cheek wiping tears off my face. 

“It’s fine I’m okay , just wasn’t expecting it. That’s all” I say trying to reassure him. He looks at me almost scared to break me. I don’t know why he freaked out, I know it was an accident. I move his hands off me and kiss his cock that up against his tummy. He looks at me worriedly, but I calm his thoughts downs by saying “ can you fuck my mouth daddy? Don’t have to go too deep just want to feel you in my mouth” 

Harry nods, leaning down to kiss me. It was messy. I mean I was already a mess, but he didn’t seem to care. He separates first from the kiss and grabs my face “open” he command. I follow suit with my tongue before he spits in my mouth and draws his cock back into it. 

This time he doesn’t go deep in my throat but hits my cheek. His cock was already ti big for my mouth but with the angle he had it, he could see the outline of his cock thrusting in and out of my mouth. Harry slows down a bit while saying “ look at that, a perfect cock slut If you ask me. Can see my cock moving in ur mouth it’s so pretty” he says. Soon after, he angles himself so he can really see the outline of his cock in my mouth. His hand falls on my jaw while this thumb rubs back and forward on the outline of his length on my jaw. 

“fuck seeing you like this is gonna make me cum” he says closing his eyes and continuing to rub his cock through my cheek. He looks at me one more time before pulling out of my mouth with a pop. 

“I need to taste you baby” he says, but before he can I stop him “ please not right now. I wanna feel you in me so bad” I pleaded with him. 

Harry hovers over till my back hits the sheets. His lips find mine while he fist his cock. He rubs his tip on my folds spreading the arousal all over my pussy before he dips his tip into my cunt. Harry doesn’t push further keeping his head in the opening of my cunt making me squeeze around his head for more.

He leans down so close to my face “such a mess” he murmurs “ are you my good girl?” He says index fingers play with my bottom lip. He watches carefully as my lip gets pulled down and bounces up. 

“ Yes, I’m your good girl” I say in response. Harry rewards me with thrusting his hips up.

I gasp from the quick action of his cock filling me up. My thighs squeezed around his waist in pleasure and pain. I breathe heavily as Harry does the same right in front of me. 

Harry slowly starts to pull out just to thrust with the same force as before. I moan from the sudden pressure in my stomach. My walls swallow his cock every time his hips meet mine.

“ Har-Harry Harry stop” I say as soon as I feel the urge to pee. Harry stops all his movement and stays still hovering over my concern all over his face.

“ what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did I hurt yo-“ Harry says freaking out 

“No-no I’m okay. I just…I…I need to pee” I say lower than a whisper.

A smirk falls onto Harry’s lips as he thrust his hip towards. I gasp at his sudden movement, not expecting it.

His head falls into the crook of my neck as he continues pounding me. My fingers claw at his back as I cry in pleasure.

The knot in my stomach starts to build making me cry out loud “fuck-fuck I’m gonna cum” 

“go ahead, let it go show daddy how good he makes you feel” Harry replies 

My back arches off the bed while my fingers get tangled in his soft curls. I start feeling something wet and warm go down on my thighs soaking me and Harry’s upper things and cock in me. He continues to fuck me until the coils in my tummy release.

My jaw goes slack and I almost feel out of my body. Everything goes pretty black and I lose myself in the nothingness, but get pulled back when I feel Harry kissing my flushed chest.

“ c’mon baby wanna see those pretty eyes” he coos at me.

I shake my head trying to stay in my state of euphoria, but he starts kissing my eyelids trying to coax me out of the state I was in. When I reluctantly open my eyes I see Harry smiling down at me.

“ You okay, pearl? Can I finish?” He asked. I nod wanting to feel him. He starts thrusting up again. My body moves from the overstimulation, but he calms me down by kissing my chest, neck, and face giving me something to focus on.

Suddenly, my focus shifts from his lips moving all over my body to the pleasure building in my stomach. 

“Oh god, daddy, I’m gonna cum-fuck please” I cry out. 

“hold it” he says as he raises my leg over his shoulder. 

I moan from the new angle his cock hits my g-spot. Feeling my body trying its best to hold my orgasm. I look at Harry above me with his mouth open taking in the pleasure. His eyebrows are furrowed focusing on getting close. 

“Daddy please I can’t hold it anymore” I cry out.

His hips start to thrust faster. His hand rests against my face, as his thumb finds its way in my mouth. 

“Are you my good girl?” Harry questions.

I nod vigorously trying to do whatever to reach my climate. He smiles at my obedience.

“open your mouth” he orders.

I follow what he says and open my mouth, sticking my tongue out. His thumb pulls my mouth open while he spits in my mouth.

“ don’t swallow yet” he commands as he starts to thrust into me faster. I start to try harder to not cum from his actions. When I feel like I’m to cum I hear him say “swallow”.

I listen to his orders and swallow and open my mouth to show him. I’m met with his approval by his mouth meeting me and kissing me deeply.

 “cum for daddy, let it go, wanna feel out milk me dry” he says as he quickened his pace as he places his hand around my throat.

My orgasm comes again and I cry out holding wrist around my neck to keep his hand there. “Cum in me please. Wanna have your baby’s. I Want to be full of you. Please please please” I cry as I reach my high.

Harry follows right after me saying “ fuck said I was gonna breed you and look at you now” he continues “such a little slut, talking cum that doesn’t belong to hers, on the bed me and my wife share. Take my cum baby wanna see you swollen right after this” I start to feel his cum pour into me making my cunt feel full from him. Adding pleasure to my orgasm besides hiss words.

Harry’s hand moves from my neck to next to my head as he dips down to kiss me one more time while he tries to chase both of our orgasms.

After we settled down, he looks for my approval to move leg off of his shoulder. I nod slightly and he gently places my leg back down. I start to squeeze around Harry’s cock not wanting him to leave me yet. 

“C’mon need to let me out so I can eat” Harry says.

I stop clenching from confusion, but am met with my clarification when I feel Harry’s tongue licking my puffy clit.

“Daddy no-no-no” I cry.

“ You know the safe word baby you can use it” Harry says knowing I don’t want him to stop. I look at Harry with his face wet from our orgasm. He goes back down licking as much as he can. 

“Fuck we taste so good together. You wanna try, baby?” Harry says as he climbs up and leans down to kiss me. 

I hum into our messy but sweet kiss. Harry breaks away from the kiss. I open my eyes again to see Harry smiling down at me with eyes he never really gave me before. I smile at him and laugh before trying to meet his lips by raising myself on my elbows, but my attempt fails when he pulls my arms down and over my head kissing me again only stopping when we either laugh or to smile.

Hi! thank your for reading! I'm not sure where I want this story to go or how I want it to go, but I hoped you liked it. the next part should be out in a week or two so keep an eye out. okay see you soon ily,

(ps. if your read this and realized the way the ending goes is different it's because I was trying to make up my mind on how plot lol)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for flirting with my online friend 🌐❓

i (20s, trans man) have been getting closer to my online friend (same as me). we were mutuals for a while in what i can best describe as an online writing community but only started actually talking last year when i approached him to do a project together. we've been pretty strictly platonic for the last year but this year it's ramped up a bit (in part i think due to greater proximity)- we make a lot of sexual jokes at each other. now that's not necessarily a big deal because we do it at other male (and not male in his case) friends of ours, its just sort of how our circle interacts with each other, but it's a bit different for me because i do actually have somewhat of a crush on him. i'm not super sure of how he feels towards me, but i do think he knows at least partially how i feel and is at least humouring our banter.

now here's where i feel like an asshole. i have no intention of dating him at all- even if he does like me back, the reality is that we live on two entirely separate continents and neither of us have the financial means to go see each other. now you could suggest we date long distance or online but i've done that like 4 different times now with 4 different people and i just know it doesn't work for me, for a variety of reasons i won't get into. just trust me when i say it would end poorly. i'm not on speaking terms with any of my exes (nor do i want to be, bar one) and my friend is important enough to me that if we ended up like that then i'd be really upset about it. usually when i break up with someone or am broken up with i'm left with a lot of resentment and bitterness. plus our writing project would be tanked, which i'm not willing to jeopardise because i think it's excellent, he's a great partner.

in addition to that i'm only a few months out of a pretty rough breakup with someone i also had viewed as a close friend (irl, not online). i'm not conflating them here, because they aren't alike whatsoever, but i worry that im using my friend as an emotional rebound to cope with what my ex did to me, even if he doesn't know it. i don't want my ex back and i am honestly still feeling a lot of anger towards him, so it's been nice putting my attention and libido elsewhere. however i know how shitty it feels to be someone else's rebound guy and would hate to do that to my friend. plus i could be stunting my own healing progress?? idk

it initially was just a bit of fun but i've had to privately and seriously talk myself down from getting jealous as fuck when my friend has had other people jokingly (or not jokingly, who knows) flirt with him. i'm a pretty intense person (hi, bpd) so i've been trying to reign myself back and keep things chill and funny between us but i'm getting kind of concerned whether i should stop entirely so my feelings go away or if im fine enjoying giving and being given attention in return, even if it doesn't lead anywhere. even just liking him is kind of breaking three of the rules i'd set for myself after my last few relationship disasters (no more online stuff, no more white boys, let my brain cool down and dont be interested in anyone for at least a year) so i kind of just don't know where i should be taking this if anywhere

[nadianova]

how much $ did u get from sales from malmaid & other VNs on itch/steam? i wanna upload my VNs on itch/steam but 1. idk how much i wanna price it (like... yeah its free but for the pwyw slot for itch) & 2. (for steam) idk if the 100$ steam price for Uploading is worth it/if ppl will like/buy it (am insecure/nervy #girl :'3) .. i luvv ur work n i love seeing ur works it Makes me v happy thank you!!!!

disclaimer everything here is my opinion and perspective from me in this current moment of my life so just take everything with a grain of salt and preferably look for others perspectives to compare to. ultimately its something everyone kinda have to figure out on their own and do what works for them..

but that being said theresa lot of things to say here so ill just start with like... every dev i see says that if you're gonna sell your game put it on steam. i keep hearing numbers throw around like 90% of sells come from steam and 10% from itch io for devs that sell (commercial projects) on both. you still need following etc to promote the wishlists since that is what boosts your game after the initial release on steam or something like that?

if you have a free game put it on itch io. its free just do it might as well. being shy and insecure about what you make is fine but keep in mind that people arent after some perfect flawless projects and making those is impossible

just make what you can and share it, the right people just need to find them

still itchio is nice that its free but the userbase is also 50% people on their mobile searching for strictly free android games to jerk off or horror game with red background because popular streamer #453425 played it. the site culture is different from steamw which some people treat as if games don't count as real unless they're on steam.

from my perspective paying $100 to put a game on steam is 'cheap'. even if you just consider it an ad fee for however much traffic steam algorithm blesses you with, its kind of a good deal if you think about the unhinged amounts you'd have to pay on twitter or facebook or whatever the hell people use to actually promote the game to same amount of eyes.. if you're doing free games its less of a incentive but if you're trying to do business and make money for rent 100(and whatever fees steam and taxes will eat from your earnings) is a very low price of doing business. i see people complain about steam cuts and steam fees but as someone who used to be an online sexworker there was literally popular sites AND STILL ARE that take like 50% cut directly so steam isn't bad when compared to that (also steam gives you the 100 back after you make 1000, which i reasonable believe i could reach if i put a paid game on steam)

also did you know you can set itch ios marketplace cut to 0% if you want with no repercussions. you can do that if you want. do it.

i think if you have rent to pay you should get into the habit of asking for something. artists love supporting other artists and outside of that the people who have money will gladly support someone whose work they like. there's really no concrete numbers to give for pricing projects. just ask anything. tho know that asking for 1 dollar is pretty much the same as asking for like 5 tho. if people are ready to pay they generally don't care if its in that range so i think everyone's happy if its 5 when payment processors get to swipe a smaller percentage of the fees from the transaction

maybe something like just ask for something nad once you make more projects keep rising it. its better to have an empty patreon with 0 subscribers than no patreon at all. my games used to be 0€ to download and 6.66€ pay what you want and people kept paying that. then i raised the suggestion to 15€ just to try it out and i was surprised to see the amount of donations didn't go down. bonus artbooks are a good incentive. its nice to share something special for those who want to donate and its nice for them to get something out of it since a huge portion of these people might have just given that same donation money expecting nothin in return

its taken a few months but malmaid has now made like 800 dollars on itch io which is like wow holy shit but it kinda stops being as exciting when i think about how it took me 6 months to make it and that would be like one month of rent. still ultimately the fact that its a free game and everyone just decided to donate anyway is kinda absurd and it makes me infinitely grateful

i do know that if i had priced it with a set price the amount would be a lot more (this is even more evident from my 4€ comic projects that i keep putting on sale constantly for even cheaper are still by far the most earning projects I've ever put on itchio) id argue people are more likely to take a project seriously and engage with it if it cost money. free games you can just dl and forget about it if you want.. but having a price next to the download button makes things seem more legitimate because money has worth

i also get pay-per-project patreon money. tho patreon hates that mode and will be deleting in like a year or so instead of having stupid monthly payments. idk what ill do then i might delete patreon at that point will see

but on the matter of if these numbers really are a useful metric to share is debatable. hopeless junction made like $1000(ignoring the vncup 2 award) since i released it year ago and this and malmaid are two of my most popular games like that. i think i made 300-400 during the first few release months back then. I've been posting stuff on itch io for FREE for a decade soon and its an accumulation of all my visibility from over the years. itch io also favorites nsfw games with their tag traffic so its an environment that works for me

if i had started asking for money and packaging my things in a more commercial form i would be making a lot more with it i think and the people who followed me would already be accustomed to that. its just that for now ive valued people being able to play my things for free and my situation has allowed for it

everyone hates marketing but ultimately its about making the thing you made look good and be seen by others. a nice custom theme on an itch io page is more likely to get someone to stay than a game with blank profile no screenshots.

its important to make the thing you made look presentable and that's just finding your own voice by looking at how others do these things

the coolest story in the world isnt gonna sell if it doesn't have a nice cover if nobody knows that story exists.. but if people like the story they're more likely to stick around for future stuff and spread the word.. i think that matters more than what amount of money is being asked for a game as there are popular cheap games just as there are popular expensive games

idk. if theres more specific questsions ask again its a very broad thing

[sasukeless]

please don't kill me but genuine question about sns (disclaimer that i've only seen the anime, not read the manga, shameful ik): in shippuden, naruto's attachment to sasuke felt sooo forced to me at first because it looked extremely one-sided and i resented naruto a lot because he acted like sasuke was the same as he was before he left and was projecting/in denial rather than seeing sasuke as his own person with agency and who had different ideals/methods. Obviously things were put in a different light when we eventually learn about the indra and ashura, and the reincarnation/soulmate thingy but idk it never erased that first impression for me, despite sns connection being obvious at the end i still disliked naruto as a character. So would really appreciate your perspective on this!

lol i won’t kill you, it’s fine.

tbh i just think this all to me seems like you got stuck in early shippuden naruto characterization and like i cant remember how it’s in the anime (thankfully) but in the manga is pretty clear that.Yes, naruto attachment to sasuke looks one sided then and it is intentional!! kishimoto wrote that on purpose. same with naruto not being able to see that sasuke is different. i always joke a lot how at the beginning of part 2 naruto has deluded himself to believe sasuke leaving for orochimaru was almost like a kidnapping where he’s convinced he has to save sasuke like a damsel in distress from the tower he was locked in. which ofc while orochimaru basically groomed sasuke to seek him, sasuke still is not being held captive (and actually he’s planning to kill orochimaru and take his autonomy back). but the point is that Naruto starts to realizes he’s never gonna get sasuke back like that and after jiraiya’s death he understands a little more why sasuke would choose revenge too. idk why you mean by forced tho because to me naruto’s obsession w sasuke is one of the most natural thing to come from him. traumatizing kid latching himself to the first person that showed him love and refusing to let go it’s pretty realistic. imo this obsession also it’s what humanizes naruto the most. he wants to save sasuke because he doesn’t want sasuke to suffer but he also Needs to save sasuke because he’s pretty codependent on him emotionally and needs him by his side for his own goals and life to have meaning. it’s a pretty selfless and selfish trap he’s in.

back to the whole one sided thing. once again this is pretty intentional. kishimoto hides sasuke’s feelings for naruto, most of his arc in part 2 he only leaves small pieces here and there but nothing as grand because he wanted to make the big reveal at vote 2 where we finally get to know that sasuke had developed a similar attachment to naruto since childhood but deals with it completely different (since they have complete different perceptions of love). the whole point of this is that it should recontextualizes their entire dynamic again because now you’re aware the same feelings of yearning and love naruto had for sasuke that lead him to chase him for years and become unhealthy obsessed were mirrored by sasuke and because his different view of love this is why sasuke kept running away.

anyway idk if this will help or not but yeah i still recommend the manga

[yamamasjumpercables]

Campus Romance

College!Boy!Chris x College!Fem!Reader

Warnings: kissing and a little cuss word 🥤

a/n: I was thinking about the grumpy x sunshine trope while making this idk why🧎🏾‍♀️

Left leg bouncing anxiously, discarded papers by your laptop, half finished latte that was probably cold by now, notes all over your work space. You were clearly stressed. Your assigned lab partner couldn’t be here to help you with one of the biggest projects of the semester because, they had the flu. So your professor had the smart idea of assigning you a new partner, which just so happened to be the new kid. Chris Sturniolo. You didn’t know much about him. Only thing you knew was his name and he always had an upbeat attitude. He was put in your class exactly 3 weeks ago. So you didn’t know how working with him would be like. It’s safe to say you were more than nervous to work with him. As for Chris, he was excited, nervous and worried all at once. Chris has seen you on campus many times before, walking to your classes with your head phones on with your natural monotoned facial expression. You were his hallway crush. He’s seen you so many times, waiting for the right time to ask you out. Chris always took pictures of you walking, not in a creepy stalker way. He always sent the pictures of you to his friends, which followed with a simple sentence that properly expressed his feelings for you. Yet his friends would always respond with “ask her out and stop being a fucking creep”. The first day Chris walked in your class and spotted you, he did a whole victory dance in his head. Everyday when chris spotted you in the back of the class with your head down and headphones on, he was happy. That happiness ended up turning into confidence. Chris ended up becoming friends with some of the kids by the end of his first week in your class. But he still didn’t have the courage to talk to you.

You were currently writing some notes down, headphones on full blast until you felt a tap on your shoulder. You came face to face with a red face, out of breath Chris. “You’re 5 minutes early” You say going back to your notes. “I just wanted to get a head start on the project”. Chris says trying to catch his breath. You roll your eyes at him. “Sit down we have to get started” you say patting the seat next you, signaling him to sit down. Chris quickly obeyed, setting his backpack down taking out his notes and books. Once he was done he noticed that you were still writing down your notes. He took this time to admire your concentration face. Your hair was up and out of your way, allowing Chris to see your entire face. The setting sun brightens your eyes as you continue to write your notes down for the project. Chris was so mesmerized by you glowing in the evening sun. He didn’t even notice your eyes staring back at him in confusion. “You ok Chris, do I have something on my face?” You asked patting your face. “No, No you don’t you’re fine- Wait no I don’t mean your fine fine- We’ll you are fine, but not in a bad way”. Chris rambles. “You are so beautiful and when I look at you I feel like I’m dreaming”. Chris says playing with his orange bracelet on his right wrist. “That’s beautiful Chris, but we need to focus on this project”. You say making eye contact with the blue eyed boy. “Yea we should, I’m sorry for being so forward” Chris says disappointed. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way about me, we don’t really know each other anyway” Chris says playing with his bracelet. You laugh. “Who says I don’t like you back” you say looking up from your notes, crossing your arms and tilting your head to the right slightly with a confused face. “Well I just thought you know since I just came to your class-“ Chris is cut off by your lips on his. You grab the sleeve of his hoodie pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. Once you pulled away you were met with a giddy red face Chris. “You ok Chris” You asked, laughing a bit. “Yea I’m fine, wait does that mean I can take you out on a date?” Chris asked excitedly. “Yes once we get an A on this project” you say pointing at the notes smiling. “Oh yea yea we should get started on that” Chris says looking back at his forgotten notes. “Kiss for motivation” Chris asks nudging your arm. You gave Chris a quick peck on the cheek. “Oh I wanted a kiss on the lips” Chris says playfully. “When we finish the project then I’ll kiss you on the lips” you say taking a sip of your latte. “Well let’s get started on this, sooner we finish sooner I get to kiss you again” Chris said as he started flipping through the pages of his note book. You laugh and push him playfully. You and Chris continue to work on the project together. Chris turned out to be a pretty good partner afterwards.

I hardly made anything for Chris so here is something for the Chris girls💆🏾‍♀️🤝🏾. Oh and should I start a tag list & a part 2 of this?

[genericpuff]

I'm curious - how many unanswered asks do you have in your inbox? Or do you just delete the ones you don't plan on answering?

do you feel good anon

do you feel good about yourself with this question

targeting me like that

geeeeez

ok but more seriously LMAO i have an embarrassingly large amount of unanswered asks but i do read all of them <3 a lot of them honestly are just from folks like, sharing their anonymous opinions about either LO and LR, with the odd one about comic advice, sharing webtoon recommendations, and other things of that nature!

In the case of the LO asks, it's stuff that often has already been spoken about at length before so I don't really have anything to add (but trust me, I'm usually in total agreement, if I heavily disagree with a take I'll usually try to respond to it but it's rare that that's the case because most of the takes are just things like "wow the art in this panel sucks" like yep it sure do LOL) and often it just feels like my inbox is just like, a comment box for people to get their feelings out anonymously and honestly that's fine, I just also can't really respond to every single one unfortunately, but I do read them and I love y'all's takes!

With LR asks, y'all are way too sweet to me and send me just the kindest things about LR, and I hope y'all know that even if I wind up not getting back to your ask about it, I do read everything you send and appreciate so much the amount of support you've all shown for this project since I took it on <3 A lot of those asks are literally my version of "do it for her" where I read them and it reminds me of why it's so worth doing what I do :') <3

Whenever people recommend me other works to read, I add them to a list and I am currently trying to tackle it :) (honestly that list isn't as big as you'd think, a lot of the recommendations are for the same stuff, like other Greek myth retelling comics or otherwise just bad webtoons that people want me to suffer thru LOL) I just recently finally got a physical copy of Song of Achilles and while it's slow going, I'm gonna be sharing my extended thoughts about it, either in a big Tumblr post or maybe a video if I can motivate myself to do it 🤔

And of course, the comic advice asks... these ones admittedly I do tend to actually move into my drafts because I really, REALLY do want to respond to them, but I'm also not someone to half-ass responses to questions like that. That is a bit of a bad habit on my end because it often means I'm spending crazy amounts of time going over topics that can be researched, but I also just really love talking about comics so it doesn't feel good to get a comic advice ask and just leave it at "idk just start" like yeah, do that, but also I want to pass on all the things I WISH I had known when I was first starting out and I'm glad people see me as someone to learn those things from! So when it comes to those asks, don't worry, I'm picking away at them <3 (but also man, I should probably just like... put together some kind of hitchhiker's guide to comic making or something huh LOL)

Anyways! I do have a lot of unanswered asks and honestly, I'm not really one to delete them, even if I don't get back to some of them it is still nice to read them in their own little curated space separate from my main blog, it's kind of like a personal comment section between myself and those of you who took the time to write <3 The only asks I tend to outright delete are ones that are just like, way too bad faith to even want to give any attention to, or bot spam lmao But for the majority of y'all who have sent genuine asks to my inbox and never saw a response and worry that I might have ignored it or deleted it, I hope you can have reassurance in knowing that they are all still there and even if I can't make time every day to respond to them, receiving all your personal takes about LO and your amazing feedback and kind words about LR is something I'm always excited to see whenever that little notification pops up in my Inbox tab. I see you and appreciate you <3

[josendlessmonolouge]

hey so I just binged your head cannons and how does it feel to be right all the time? I was wondering what you would think about body/weight insecurities with the underworld kids? Like Hazel grew up in the 30s when black girls were the opposite of the beauty standard and I imagine her having complicated feelings about her appearance caused by never feeling attractive growing up. And going into the legion they do intense exercises so she probably put on a bunch of muscle weight after the first few months, and on a short girl like her that can look pretty stocky (totally not projecting rn). So she’s prob never thought about herself as very feminine or beautiful. Do think dating Frank and being desired would help her recover from that and gain confidence?

And with Nico he’s always been very skinny especially after the jar incident. I feel like people around camp would say insensitive things about him looking skeletal or ghastly as a joke but he would actually be very hurt by it. Like internalized homophobia would already make him feel unmasculine and comments like those would be like salt in the wound. Also his eating habits described in the book are definitely disordered in some way.

sorry this ended up way longer than I planned but would love to hear your opinion

Omg thank you for the ask and the spam likes I’m happy you enjoy my head-canons :>> So first Hazel;

I struggle a lot with body dysmorphia myself. The Hazel idea is something I hadn’t really thought about much but now that you put it in my head. I think definitely makes sense and I love it. I think her and Frank probably both have a lot of issues with their physical appearances and how they’ve changed within the events of the books and starting off with bad self image. Within or having to do with the events of the book being Him losing a bunch of weight and gaining muscle then putting weight back on after the blessing of mars, and her like you said putting on more muscle.

my BD/ED was actually the down fall of my first relationship so I don’t think just feeling desired could really fix it , however I think that being with frank would probably improve her self image. I think Frank is probably pretty body neutral or working hard at being body neutral for himself and encourages her to do the same. I do think that his adoration of her would probably also help some. He’s a wonderful hype man and a blushing mess whenever she gets dressed up cute so she can’t help but feel a little better about herself. I think they’re both probably working on themselves and building each other up when it comes to body image.

Nico ooh I’ve got a lot of feelings on him bc I’ve chatted with my friends about it and you said exactly what I’ve been saying about how it probably makes him feel emasculated since he’s a young gay man who’s constantly surrounded by these ultra masculine friends and probably feels like less than in some ways. I feel for some reason that he has some arfid symptoms because most modern foods are just different than he used to and just he can’t will himself to eat most things. He also just gives the energy off even when he was in the 40s he was pretty picky since his family was wealthy. (Idk that he canonically bought McDonald’s to raise the dead that kid cries if he tries to eat a French fry) so it’s extremely hard for him to gain the weight back after the jar incident. I also think He knows he should reasonable work at gaining weight but he also just wants to take up as little space as possible literally and figuratively so it’s a constant mental bottle of “I’m sick and getting sicker, will is worried about me I need to eat, but also food is icky and I really don’t want to see the number on the scale go up even though I know I’ll look and feel better”

I could go on for a long while about this actually lol