#shoutout 2 dean

[thecringefailintherye]

so les mis was wow.. just excellent <3

the whole cast was 10/10 omg not one bad fucking singer they were all amazing. like even the kids??

got my programme/playbill signed by our friend dean who played bossuet!! he was so nice. i told him im reading the brick and we discussed exr 💀

BOUGHT A T SHIRT KSJSSHSHSHNSK not very scenekid spacehey rawring 20s emo mcr of me but yknow

and a poster 😔😔

uh i nearly cried when enjolras died that was my biggest #loser moment

OH AND I NEARLY CRIED START OF ACT 2 WHEN I SAW THE BARRICADE HOLY SHIT IT WAS AWESOME

the barricade and the runaway cart were my personal favourite sets. the runaway cart was MASSIVE holy fuck

the sets were gorgeous. they used a lot of projections but loads of practical sets too

THE PROJECTIONS WHEN JAVERT JUMPED OFF THE BRIDGE WERE OMG i genuinely thought fucker was on a wire or smth but no it was just good projections

eponine had a northern accent and i think that was everything to me. i loove ‘im boot every day eye’m leahrnin’

AND ENJOLRAS HAD A REALLY THICK WELSH ACCENT TOO. rehhhd the bluud of anghry mehnn it was kinda hot ngl

les amis were all amazing tbh, my favourite parts ngl

OMG OMG FUCKING GAVROCHES DEATH RIGHT HE FELL OFF THE BARRICADE AND GRANTAIRE CAUGHT HIM. HEARTBREAKING SHIT

call me an awful les mis stan but i did not know about the sorta father-son dynamic with gavroche and grantaire (some fucking reason i thought it was combeferre who had that dynamic w/ gav?) sweetest shit i ever seen. like after drink with me gavroche went up and hugged him. I Love That Child

oh also this was interesting: there was a woman fighting on the barricade!! she left before the fighting got bad so i’m assuming (in universe) she was one of the turning women? i’m thinking perhaps she was musichetta since she stood next to joly during drink with me?? idk but i love her go barricade gal go

the orchestra were evidently having fun whwgwgsgs vibe yall vibe

would see again

i can not think of a single flaw rn it was so funky

Live Laugh Les Mis

[bluebuckstallion]

fuck you......(makes them horses)

edit: hi! i have reuploaded these to my spn blog @castielsparkle here!:

[greenhorn-art]

All The King's Horses | As You Are Now, So Once Was I by @samwpmarleau (grumkinsnark)

All The King's Horses [LiveJournal ch1] [Fanfiction.net ch1]

As You Are Now, So Once Was I [LiveJournal ch1] [Fanfiction.net ch1]

Fandom: Supernatural, Criminal Minds

Rating: Teen | PG-13

Category: Gen

Words: ~36,192

All The King's Horses: Protect and Serve. Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity. To what lengths would you go to uphold those oaths? When it comes to a particularly brutal and unsolvable case, the BAU just may have to resort to some more unorthodox methods. SPN/Criminal Minds crossover.

As You Are Now, So Once Was I: Sequel to "All the King's Horses." When Dean catches J.J.'s press conference on the news about a current case and notices a few...inconsistencies, he realizes the BAU is definitely going to need his help. Again. ON HIATUS

About the Book

FORMAT: Letter quarto, flatback bradel binding, french link stitch, no tapes

FONTS: EB Garamond [via Google Fonts], Supernatural Knight [via DaFont], D-Din [via Font Squirrel], Daniel [via DaFont], Permanent Marker [via Google Fonts], Arial

IMAGES: Seal of the FBI [via Wikipedia], Dean's handprint scar [by greenhorn-art]

MATERIALS: 24lb Xerox Bold Digital paper (8.5"x11"), 80pt binder's board (~2mm), 30/3 size waxed linen thread, embroidery floss (DMC #721), 1.9mm cording, brown cardstock, black Cialux bookcloth, gold foil transfer sheet (came with We R Memory Keepers hot foil pen)

PROGRAMS USED: Fic exported with FicHub, word doc compiled in LibreOffice Writer, Typeset in Affinity Publisher, imposed with Bookbinder-JS, title pages designed in Affinity Designer/Photo

.

I first read these stories on LiveJournal back in 2013, some time after I first encountered Tumblr, Supernatural, and the wider world of online fandom. Once I discovered SPNxCriminal Minds crossovers I devoured so many of them. Something about POV Outsider on the Winchesters, the existing connections with investigating monster vs human-crazy cases, and run-ins with the FBI... it's just works so well.

Of all the SPNxCM fics I read and enjoyed, All The King's Horses is among those that bookmarked themselves in my brain. Since it's been living there all these years, I thought it deserved a place on my bookshelf too.

(Rambling below)

Sourcing the Fic

I used FicHub to download the fics off of Fanfiction.net as HTML. Then I pasted them into LibreOffice Writer and created rich text documents of each fic, so I could Place them into Affinity Publisher.

The stories were crossposted, first on LiveJournal and then Fanfiction. I included the metadata from both sites in the appendices.

(It's fascinating to see the differences in the same work between platforms. FFN requires genres, so if the author doesn't add them on LJ then by default there's more info on FFN. But FFN limits listed characters to 2, so authors have to pick and choose the most important. Then there's the author's amusing disclaimers and spoiler warnings for these fics, which are only included in the LJ version)

Shoutout to the author for how they linked/listed their accounts on other platforms! Thanks to that I was easily able to track down all the tags/metadata for the fics, and find them here to express my appreciation for their stories!

Typesetting

Fonts

EB Garamond is my new favourite body font, 11pt as per my usual.

The title page is entirely Arial: 1) it was the closest match I have to the case file prop I was copying, and 2) if it was a government doc they wouldn't be using anything but the most basic fonts.

Headings and the the bullets bracketing the page numbers are set it Supernatural Knight, a free font in the style of Supernatural's title.

The location segments are in D-DIN, the closest free match to the font Criminal Minds uses (which is probably DIN).

Daniel is used for Dean's 'rushed but legible' note.

Permanent Marker for the 'thick black Sharpie' case file labels.

Artwork

Title pages designed as FBI case files, copied from a prop found online (specifically Etsy's propfictionstudios', but it's all over the web so no idea who actually created it). I had fun plugging in all the fanfic/bookbinding meta!

The ID# above the author's name is the FFN story ID, and the date is the date originally posted on LJ.

The handprint used in the headings of ATKH is Dean's scar. I traced off of a screenshot from s4e01 Lazarus Rising. I chose to use the handprint instead of the anti-possession tattoo or a Devil's Trap as my SPN art element because 1) it's specific to Dean, and 2) indicates/reminds that the story is not set during the season 3 Agent Henriksen/FBI arc.

Grabbed the FBI seal off of Wikipedia.

Construction

Both fics typeset and printed separately, then sewn together into one book. Title page for the sequel was tipped in like an endpaper prior to sewing.

Endbands sewn with orange embroidery floss (DMC 721) around 1.9mm cording. I chose orange because Dean's being in jail brought to mind the orange prison jumpsuits Sam and Dean wore in s1e19 Folsom Prison Blues.

Black bookcloth for the cover, like the Winchesters' beloved black '67 Chevy Impala. (I'd wanted a Supernatural reference to balance out the Criminal Minds-ness of the FBI case files).

I'd originally planned to make lineart of the front of the car, and have it stretch across the bottom of the cover (maybe even wrap around to the back). Even found a useful reference to trace [from here], but it didn't look as good as I'd hoped. Instead I reused the FBI seal and swapped out its text with the titles.

(The effect of shiny foiled FBI symbol on small black book reminds me of one of those FBI badge wallets!)

The foiling process was an unnecessarily long and gruelling affair. My laptop served as a massive power bank for the hot foil pen as I spent 2hrs ever so slowly tracing the image, and then 15mins on the author name and touch-ups. Did it need to take so long? Moving slowly, pushing down hard, going over everything at least three times? I'm sure it didn't. BUT I did not want to chance peeling up the foil to check how I was doing and risk shifting it. It was worth it in my books (haha) ‒ I feel giddy and kick my feet like a schoolgirl whenever I see it!

New Things

Used 24lb paper for the first time, and I love it! It's a little thicker and heavier then regular 20lb printer paper, feels more substantial.

The page numbers & running/section headers are along the outer margin, instead of in the header/footer. This was my way around Affinity's buggy-ness regarding pinning things inline in master pages. (More about that below). If I had been thinking, I could have formatted them like the tabs on a file folder and cut the textblock to match. Oh well, the things you notice once it's printed 😔

This time I also started new chapters/sections using text flow & paragraph spacing settings, instead of using a master. As always, there are pros and cons.

Pro: much faster and less involved. (find chapter start, apply paragraph style VS working from the end cutting text, inserting a frame break, unlinking frames, inserting new pages with master, relinking, pasting, and adding chapter title to a different text box)

Con: images need to be added manually (whether by adding image directly, or by applying a master with the image). I forgot to do this for the second fic, so only ATKH have Dean's handprint scar.

Difficulties Encountered

Affinity Publisher is fighting me on pinning things inline on master pages. They like to disappear on regular pages I've applied the master to. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it only works on some of the pages. Idk what's up. (The bullet character only faces one way so I had use textboxes, flip/mirror one, and pin them inline to the page number).

So instead of having page numbers in the footer, bookended left and right by text boxes with Supernatural Knight's bullet, I put it vertically down the side.

Updated Publisher and all my paragraph styles' fonts changed/went funny. Something to do with the update's variable font support, I think. What was previously 'EB Garamond' regular, was now something along the lines of 'EBGaramond-Regular' which isn't a font. Issue seems to have ironed itself out in my original (near-complete) doc while I was busy remaking it. 😐

On the bright side, the update brought QR code generation to Affinity!

[aceofwhump]

In your opinion, who are the kings of whump?

OOOOH This is such a good question. I'm please to answer this.

Daniel Jackson

He is the KING of whump, okay? The name whump came from him. He is why we have that term for this community. I will not accept any arguments as to why Daniel Jackson is not the King of Whump. I even have a tag for that on my blog.

2. Dean Winchester

3. Killian Jones

4. Merlin

5. Neal Caffrey

6. Loki

7. The Tenth Doctor

8. Malcolm Bright

And I'm going to finish this list by giving a shoutout to the Patron Saint of Whump: Aaron Ashmore (and of course his twin brother Shawn too but Aaron is the one who gave us a shoutout on twitter lol)

[aerialworms]

+ bonus Midam :)

(Shoutout to @bloodydeanwinchester​ for inspiring this, although I’m 75% sure this has been done before 😅 ID under the readmore!)

[Image ID: A series of screenshots of the Supernatural characters paired with the answers from a Buzzfeed quiz. The first image is the title of the quiz: “...would you fuck a clone of yourself?”

2. Sam Winchester, looking weirded out at his alternate self in 15.13 Destiny’s Child, answers “I don't want to fuck my clone because it would be gay sex and I'm not gay.”

3. Eileen Leahy, smirking at Sam in 15.07 Last Call, answers “I'm not gay, but I would actually totally fuck my clone.”

4. Jack Kline, looking baffled in 13.01 Lost and Found, answers “I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone, that's gross and weird.”

5. Castiel, looking scared as the Empty yells at him in 13.04 The Big Empty, answers “I don't want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.”

6. Crowley, looking suggestively at Dean in a bar in 9.11 First Born, answers “I'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck ME than ME?“

7. Dean, handcuffed on the floor in Endverse Dean’s cabin in 5.04 The End, tells his alternate self “I'd totally do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.”

8. Arthur Ketch in 13.07 War of the Worlds, pretending to be his twin, Alexander, answers “It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.”

9. Mary Winchester yells at Ketch “It's not the same as masturbating; it'd be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad!”

10. Good!Charlie Bradbury from 10.11 There’s No Place Like Home says “I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil.” except the “what if” has been crossed out.

11. Mustachioed Gabriel from the Casa Erotica DVD in 5.19 Hammer of the Gods answers “Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that's how pro-clone fucking I am.”

12. Chuck, in 11.20 Don’t Call Me Shurley, shrugs and tells Metatron “I'd totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I'm good in bed.”

13. From the start of 9.18 Meta Fiction, Metatron tells the viewer “To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.“

14. Michael and Adam on their dinner date in 15.08 Our Father, Who Aren’t In Heaven. Their answer is simply “Yes.”

All the images are watermarked with the creator’s url, “@aerialworms”. /End ID]

[rosemariad]

Supernatural season 14

Oh boy!

So Alt-Michael has taken over Dean’s body and absconded to parts unknown - what an unprecedented plot twist who could’ve possibly seen this coming, certainly not Dean, the one guy who doesn’t trust angels and has a history of being short-sighted & making shitty deals.

Since this is season 14, and there’s only 1 more season after this, I presume Dean will never grow out of these bad qualities 🤦🏾‍♀️, so…moving on.

Check you out Sam, leading your new band of hunters, like some sort of Hunters Incorporated©️. I’m glad Sam gets to spend more time with his mom, but he won’t let her take care of him 😔😭

Was it me or did that Michael & Anael scene feel like Jensen x Danneel role play 🤣 - at least when he caressed her face. Like really bro? I don’t think the scene would’ve played out that way if the actors weren’t actual husband and wife 🤣

Shoutout to Supernatural for keeping Mark Pellegrino employed lol 😂😂 cuz I don’t see Why the fuck he’s still around if the devil is supposedly dead - wasn’t Mark P. also doing 13 reasons why around this time?? Anywho, Nick, luci’s longtime vessel, isn’t dead???? What does Nick have that jimmy novak didn’t (or literally any other angel vessel for that matter) — plot convenience? That must be it 🤣🤣🤣

Cas honey, why are you letting these demons beat you up? Cuz Dean is gone on your watch? cuz im sorry there’s no way im believing Cas was weaker than all them demons. That’s also plot convenience IDGAF!

After yet another demon-hunter showdown, Mary and Bobby are spotted sharing a beer & flirting…I wish John were around to see this AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh Jack, poor guy feels worthless for having no power. He should’ve been like ‘Castiel what’s it like being worthless?’ since that was Castiel’s arc for a minute too, which again fuck Supernatural for. Cas had like 1 badass moment last season when he fried Donatello’s brains but that’s it. Meanwhile Nick totally called Cas out, bringing up Jimmy again and driving that guilt straight into Castiel.

Alt-Michael is recruiting?? Brief Dean cameo in 14x02, you give him like 2 lines, wow 😒. Even Sam got more screen time in 5x22 swan song…but Dean suddenly comes back at the end of the episode???? Nah, bullshit!

Also lol karma for Dean in 14x02 when Jack is like, ‘Dean doesn’t matter’, Michael has to be stopped. Ahahahahahahaha. He was the so called pragmatist when it came to Jack, now it’s Jack’s turn. Castiel’s face when jack said it tho…

Dean got stabbed by AU Kaia? What?? Oh look yet another instance of Dean running away from his problems and pain and being a dick to Kaia (though she's technically a different person) again! Good for you tho AU Kaia for giving Dean a taste of his own medicine and telling him off.

Bobby leave Sam alone, I’m here for his captain my captain era. The lovable giant is doing his best!

So some necromancer gets away from Jack & Dean but we’re not gonna see her again, right??? There’s just a little over 30 episodes left in the show at this point. They probably didn’t know that at the time though.

Shoutout to the devil for basically condemning his child to die from a lack of grace :/ while Cas was able to survive (cuz plot convenience most likely) Jack as a nephilim was unable to do so. Gabe’s spare angel grace couldn’t help (I wonder if he were still alive in canon, if it would’ve made a difference. Oh well).

So this is where Cas made the deal with the empty (yes I know about it, how doesn’t everyone that shit went viral the very night it originally aired amidst the infamous nail-biting 2020 election week), tumblr is still serving the memes to this day.

Cas doesn’t want the Winchesters to know cuz Dean 😭 idc, if I was Jack I would NOT keep that secret. Dean would know IMMEDIATELY.

I think more angels died, but heaven hasn’t fallen yet…right? They keep coming back to that. Hm…

Nick’s arc is…bleh. Pretty sure in his desperation he just brought Luci back from the empty…welp. I guess when you’re an archangel who was predestined by God to fight in a fateful epic battle against your big bro, you just get certain perks in the afterlife 😒

Sam doesn’t want Alt-Charlie to go when its like bro! She. Is. Not. Charlie!!! For fuck sake guys SMH, let her live her fucking life! God forbid she want to run away to fucking safety and not die bloody like her counterpart 🤬

Bobby and Mary run off to a cabin for weeks on end 😏😂 to recuperate, sure Mary 🤣

Garth is back! Working as a spy for the Winchesters, oh dear Lord no. I know he makes it to season 15 but maaaan I don't like this….

The nerve of Dean to challenge Alt-Kaia to either hand over the weapon or kill her. What if she just killed him? Also, can't they just replicate the weapon for their own uses? All they would need to do is ensure they're using the same materials Kaia did when she forged the weapon in her own world.

How many hits to the head is Sam supposed to fuckin' take? I feel like it's happened more in this season alone than the entire show so far? He should probably be dead at this point 🤣

Jack got taken, oh no! why didn't Michael kill him? To take him as a ward? Seriously? Whatever.

And it turns out the past episode was a long con to get Dean right where Alt-Michael wanted him. I know there was a catch to him letting Dean go in 14x02.

So Alt-Michael chose to trap Dean in…contentment? With Pamela Barnes? And they weren't even a couple, just friends. She called him out on something.

Why not have him be with a real girlfriend of his, like Lisa or even Cassie? I’m supposed to believe Dean's dream is an unsuccessful bar living out his days with a platonic lady friend??? Really??? Bullshit!

John returns for the final time to go back to 2003? Okay. His hair is cut and grayish. Lol so I’m gonna see that as John gained some weight (from food/drink or muscle training idc) and dyes his hair black but the root are grey and come out every so often 🤣 but yay JDM I wish you had been in more episodes! Oh well.

So no one’s gonna talk about:

a) Adam’s existence

b) Bobby X Mary or how Bobby essentially replaced john as the father/husband by getting involved with Mary AND being a surrogate father to Sam & Dean (with a clear preference to Dean but whatever)

I’d care more about Sam & John’s convo if we had more time with them together on screen. But it was nice to see them squash their beef.

Dean & John’s convo was faaaar too brief. But insightful to their relationship. John wanted dean to have a family, echoing his wishes for his eldest in season 1 in his convo w/ Sam.

But Dean was like I have a family 🥺 my emotions!

Back to the Michael bullshit – a fight with a gorgon fucked up his containment so he literally broke out of Dean's body and killed all the hunters who were conveniently at the bunker when they brought an unconscious Dean back there. Even poor unfortunate Maggie. For a second I thought Mary would be there since Maggie mentioned she was on her way back but no, he ended up possessing Rowena.

Then they bring the old angel torture device of disabling our heroes' ability to breathe, like in the season 5 premiere, making them blind (that's new) and making them hurt.

Jack gets his chance to take Michael down, and takes his grace??????

Oh Sam bby, it's not your fault. Those people were doomed no matter what. TBH I'm surprised they lasted this long. But cuz he's a Winchester and he was raised by Dean & they've rubbed off each other too much at this point (nobromo), he decides to focus on yet another case even when Dean himself isn't willing since big bro has pointed out they have done 3 cases back to back. They're not the young men they used to be lol.

Cas goes with Sam to a milkshake town and given his legendary levels of awkwardness he's immediately seen and called out for his inherent queerness by the townsfolk (in all senses of the word).

Aw Sam wants to stay, ofc he does. This town is simple and peaceful. He could use some of that. Too bad this place is making people's heads explode.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Ah subtle there Supernatural, making Jack, a Nephilim who's the offspring of the devil himself choose between angel and devil food cake 🤣 Dean why would you put him in that position?

Cas why you gotta be snitching on Sam to your boy bestie like that 🤣 – typical boyfriend tomfoolery

Oftentimes since Jack started in this show, he's felt like an intern and 14x16 is one of those times. They don't wanna bring jack along so they think to leave him alone doing chores. Good Lord.

Oh honey Sam you didn't have to tell the sheriff you're not FBI, just stick to the monster stuff. He knows what's up.

And Jack sweetie pie you don't need to impress those kids. He should be hanging out with kids his own age. Just Jack with a bunch of babies 🤣. So cute! My headcanon is that he can actually talk to them. At least then it wouldn't have ended with a stabbing. Thankfully he cleaned up his mess, even though the local kids are terrified of him. It’s a shame he doesn’t have friends. If only he was allowed to have Claire in his life.

They finally resolved the Nick storyline (I hope) by killing him off via Jack but Mary is not happy. She’s concerned. She’s been concerned about him the whole frickin episode since he sassed her as they tried setting up a game night with Dean.

It’s like these people keep forgetting what Jack is capable of.

He didn’t have to relish the kill though. On the other hand, it felt like Mary’s concern was a bit much — if it were me I would’ve kept my mouth shut as to not upset a powerful fledging being into killing me by accident.

So Mary dies…again.

This is also why we can’t have nice things. I know Dean’s never gonna let this shit go. Sure Cas has fucked up a bunch, but killing a direct blood relative of Dean’s…nope. That’s unforgivable. I know they’re not gonna let Dean kill off a kid but I know he’s NEVER ever gonna forget Jack’s role in Mary’s (second) demise.

Why couldn’t you leave the boy alone Mary?!?!?!!?!

The boys show up, did they not circle back to pick up their mother? Seriously? Goodness Lord. So depressing watching the brothers just assuming their mommy’s coming back 😭

Cas (cuz of course this shit went tits up while Daddy was away) calls Dean to get caught up on what happened the last episode and is concerned that the Winchesters left their mom alone with Jack. Then why did you leave him Cas? You could’ve taken him with you. Like it would’ve been better if one of the brothers was alone with Jack? Badasses they may be, but they would’ve ended up just like Mary let’s be honest. The only difference would’ve been whichever brother got got would’ve come back. Mary will not be getting that special treatment…

Jack is tripping out since he murdered his foster G-maw - ends up flying all over the world (so his soul is definitely gone? But if it were gone, would he even care about killing Mary? everyone’s trying to track him down IDK why he doesn’t just destroy the phone he has. We get flashes of Mary & Jack’s time together and technically I believe she spent the most time with him (at least in season 13)

They’re still giving Mark P work on this show making him the manifestation of Jack’s subconscious cuz the kill is driving Jack insane 😭🥺 He’s reacting so much like a little boy who knows he fucked up it that makes this so much sadder 😭 Jack’s being driven mad with grief.

Oh fuck they’re going to where she died. Oh fuck.

WTF is wrong with these people! He’s a fucking boy! A super power nuke of a boy, but still a fucking boy! Like the Winchesters never made a mistake! What about the nurse who got killed in 4x22 by Sam? All the people Dean slaughtered under the MoC, as a demon! That’s just off the top of my head! No but cuz they’re the fucking protagonists 😡🤬

Samuel Winchester you know manipulating this child Is 5 different kinds of fucked up!

Jack why did you call it an accident! Did you not want to use the words murder? Destroyed? Obliterated?

Dean you piece of shit, why are you lying to this boy!!!!!! You know Jack’s desperate to make peace with you, and you lead him to a grave he’s never supposed to escape?! Poor thing Jack was sooo scared!

Sam, the regret is gonna eat you alive! Sam, for fucks sake, SPEAK THE FUCK UP! You clearly got shit you wanna say, fucking say it!

Dean you’re surprised Jack’s going along with it?! Of course he’s gonna go along with it, he wants to please you, you shady, manipulative BASTARD!

That’s right Castiel stand up for Jack since nobody else is willing to!

Oh boy, the celestial boy is freaking out. Claustrophobia was kicking in, this shit ain’t gonna end well. It’s a dark day when a psychological manifestation of Satan is making sense more than everyone else.

I’m not surprised Jack got out though. That box was made for an archangel and he isn’t that. He’s a nephilim, technically a different entity, right? now, the Winchesters have a pissed off mega-powerful creature on their hands. Great job team 🤣

that’s right Jack, give them a piece of your fucking mind! Fuck ‘em up queen.

Oh shit! I’ve watched this part a dozen times on YouTube, the part where jack makes the whole world tell the truth no matter what! Donald trump is canonically Crowley’s bitch! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

All hail the stapler queen! Iconic!

And God reveals Himself, what grand timing! He says He came for Cas’s prayer (but Cas prayed to Him in season 6 too, no?) but then He states the real reason for His arrival — Jack.

Meanwhile Jack went to see his real G-maw, not a good plan Jackie boy. She’s put 2+2 together that her daughter Kelly is NOT ok and now Jack has to confess the truth. (Where’s the dad? Was the actor unavailable or dead at this point?)

Sam was outed to love Celine Dion (I love her too Sammy it’s ok, her songs are AMAZING! My favorite is it’s all coming back to me now, I crush that shit in karaoke.) Dean follows a mommy blog 🤣 of course he does, probably cuz he identifies with her more & loves that her life is so full of shit (like I said, he identifies with her).

God don’t sanction lying, the real God would never do such a thing. Isn’t it like the 6th commandment, thou shall not lie? Like dude, the fuck?!

And no, writing means telling stories that are often made up but it’s not meant to deceive anybody. But Hollywood on the other hand…yeesh.

Dean breaking Chuck’s guitar 🤣

Chuck saying ‘DON’T!’ Having Dean shook 🤣

Why are you asking them how things are, like you don’t know?! You’re omnipotent!

They canonically made the British queen a lizard? Damn. These old Americans (the writers) are dicks!

Finally Sam is speaking up! Thank God!

Dean stop blaming people, Jesus, it was an accident (Jack you phrased it sooooo poorly though)! shout out to Sam for taking it this so well cuz he’s been through too much this season alone. He lost a whole fucking army, then his mom after he got to know her this time! And the concussions! So many concussions.

Angry Cas is sooooo fucking hot 🥵 when he slammed that truck with his fist 😏

Awww the first thing he does when he sees Jack is hugs him. Jack needed that so bad!

The biggest travesty is we never got to see the SquirrelVerse!

When Sam asks if God is watching them — Sam do you even know what omnipresent means?!

It’s just like I said in season 11. God doesn’t owe anyone anything. But everyone owes Him everything. He gave everyone the freedom to choose, for better or worse. But this iteration of who God is seems to watch what people and creatures decide to do with their lives. He made the weapon to see who among Sam, Dean or Cas would take it and strike Jack down.

So ultimately when Dean tracks Jack down and Jack throws Cas into a tombstone and Sam is running dramatically to stop it, Dean ultimately decides not to kill Jack. But why though? He kept talking shit about how Jack needed to be dealt with, but when the moment comes, he won’t do it?! I mean I’m glad but it doesn’t really make sense?!

Was it the puppy eyes? Did Sam teach Jack that trick? But Jack closed his eyes at the last second???

Oh Dean, you’re such a fucking softie. That’s on you God. You made him softer than Mr. Pillsberry.

If anything, Dean is the step daddy. Cas is Daddy. And then there’s Uncle Sam 🤣

Sam is many things, but stupid is never one of them. Naïve maybe, trusting, desperate. But not stupid. And not crazy, this time 🤣

I will say what makes this story compelling is the fact that the Winchesters find themselves locked in a cycle of violence at the hands of their Creator, and they’re refusing to commit further acts of violence in effort to stop it all and rebel against their cruel, dispassionate maker. But they have no means to back it up…today.

Not the Burger King catchphrase🤣🤣🤣

Not Jack being…smote?

Not Dean being yeeted into another tombstone?

Sam, why did you think that was gonna work on God? He made the weapon. You really think He’d make something that could kill Himself? Nah bruh.

So we’ve approached the ending of the penultimate season. 20 more episodes to go! Ah!!!! I’m excited but also not since the ending is what I know (mildly).

Side note - Sam & Dean still don’t know about Castiel’s bargain with the Empty (kinda seems pointless since God killed Jack anyway…Cas basically fucked himself for nothing 🤦🏾‍♀️ [I know how it ends but yeah still])

It’s not about the destination though, it’s the journey (I keep telling myself that).

God said fuck y’all. Shouldn’t’ve poked the bear…now these poor innocent people gonna die like sheep to the slaughter. Y’all got a lot of cleaning up to do and with so little people to help you.

So did God undo all the killings the Winchesters did? Cuz damn….that’s 10+ years of work undone. In 1 moment.

They’re not getting out of the cycle anytime soon.

[foolondahill17]

My top 10 fic picks from 2022

(all updated or completed in 2022, in no particular order)

This was the year of devouring content from new favorite authors. Special shoutout to @outdean and @urne-buriall . Right Where you Left Me and spirit of the west are on track to becoming new fandom classics, methinks. 

1. Right Where You Left Me by outdean (@outdean), 93,581 words, E, destiel, canonverse

 Cas comes back from the empty 10 years after his death, only to find Dean married (to a man! gasp!). Heartache ensues, but not without a heartwarming end. Warning for (spoilers!) infidelity and emotional abuse from a spouse. Last year's serial fic of Tumblr was Cheapest Room in the House, and this year's was no less beautiful and engaging. What I especially loved about this fic was the sense of community and excitement it spurred in the fandom. It was so fun logging into tumblr after every update for collective squee and memes. What's also particularly praiseworthy about this story is outdean's sense of character. Not only are Dean and Cas authentic and oh-so tangible, but so are the other cast of characters: Jack is especially endearing, but also convincingly adult and complicated. And Dean's husband, although delicious to hate, is also a little difficult to hate, too. At its heart, RWYLM is an unerringly human tale, zits and all. 

2. spirit of the west by teen_dean (@urne-buriall), 140,680 words, M, destiel, AU 

Beautifully atmospheric, at times brutal, at times gentle - this 1990's horsegirl!Dean fic is one for the ages. Dean is 18 and lonely on his father's horse farm - that is until his childhood friend, Cas, returns to town, and they quickly fall into the kind of intimacy that's titillating, tantalizing, and terrifying all at once. TW for strong themes of domestic abuse and PTSD, also homophobia and animal death. The prose is charming and lyrical. The characters are lively and full. It's the kind of writing that's so detailed and visual, you feel like a participant in the story, not just a spectator. Despite the darkness and fear in Dean's life, with Cas by his side (and a host of other lovable characters), he grows to accept love from others and for himself. This is more than a coming-of-age novel. It's also a story about hope: in the face of cruelty, there will also be unfailing kindness. 

3. so much smoke in the hall of mirrors by AreYouReady (@autisticandroids), 6,232 words, E, pre-destiel/one-sided destiel, canonverse

 Dark. Dark. Dark. But also disturbing and alluring in the best possible ways. It's season 6, and Cas is lured steadily further from the light by Crowley and the pressures of the Angelic civil war. To blow off some steam, he creates a Dean sex-doll out of living flesh. Warnings are well-listed in the tags, but include non-con voyeurism, dehumanization, and torture. Although the premise is bleak, this fic is a fascinating and believable dive into Cas's characterization pre-godhood powertrip. Well worth the read if you don't mind a little moral ambiguity with your morning wheaties. 

4. Dateverse by aeli_kindara (@gravelghosts​), 47,057 words, 3 works, E, destiel, canonverse

After the Mrs. Butters business, Dean asks Cas on a date. Warnings for typical Dean bad headspace, but there's plenty of fluff to soothe our (and Dean's) ills. aeli_kindara is an author whose careful writing perfectly suits Dean's caution as he pursues Cas and navigates a relationship within their emotional pitfalls and chaotic surroundings. What I especially admire about her writing is her use of motifs: photographs in the first story, memories in the second, and sunsets in the last. The third installment is waylaid by the events of the final few episodes of the series, but the fic seamlessly blends canon and fresh events into a believable and satisfying happy ending. Also, Dean goes to therapy! What's not to love? 

5. where black stars rise by teen_dean, (@urne-buriall), 27,770 words, T, destiel, canonverse

This case fic carves through the grand, sweeping mysteries of the universe like the Sidewinder Canyon through the desert. No specific warnings other than that very distinct, unnerving state of mind you enter while driving alone at night, darkness and pin-prick stars above you, and it feels like you're nothing but an infinitesimal speck of dust on the cusp of eternity.... Anyway, this fic follows Dean and Cas on the trail of several missing persons on a canyon trail in Arizona, unobtrusive until time and space, itself, unravels at the seams. Teen_dean plays with words and the cosmos like Play-Doh, molding an ethereal, enthralling story that rocketed up to one of my favorite fics of all time. 

6. iconography by foccacciabread (couldn’t find a tumblr), 3,578 words, G, Mary and Dean centric, canonverse

A simple enough premise: Mary finds old photographs of herself on Facebook. Cue family heartache, the punishment of lost time, and navigating old wounds. How to be a son when your mother isn't who you thought she was? How to be a mother when your child is dead but somehow still alive, but so, so changed? No warnings, but heavy angst. 

7. Dont Stop, Make It Pop by dumbassnatural (@dumbassnatural), 34,661 words, WIP, T, destiel, canonverse

Cas accidentally becomes a tik tok sensation, and Jack uses his technological and business savvy to make his dad a star. Both parts sweet and earnest, this story starts with a silly premise and takes it to surprisingly heartwarming places. No warnings other than the fact this is a WIP that hasn’t been updated since January, but it does leave off in a place that isn’t hard to extrapolate what might comes next. 

8. in present tenses by focacciabread, 31,463 words, E, destiel, canonverse

After getting Cas back from the Empty, Dean decides the smartest move to guarantee Cas doesn’t ever leave him again is to just start sleeping with him. It’s what Cas wants, right? And it won’t do any further psychic damage to Dean, right? Right? Surely it will not have any negative effects whatsoever on their relationship. Warnings for bad Dean headspace throughout. There are a couple fics with this premise floating about, but I was especially drawn to focacciabread’s evocative writing and convincing Dean internal monologue. We love a messy boy. 

9. AITA for disapproving of my brother's high sex drive? by birdsofthesoul (couldn’t find a tumblr) and PlaidIsTheBestPattern (@cacophony-of-notions), 3,907 words, T, implied destiel, canonverse

This one also made its rounds on Tumblr, so you’ve probably already read it, but it’s an absolutely delightful, only partially serious take in Dean and Sam’s Reddit Rivalry and that particular brand of moralizing found in online spaces. It does what all the best “crack taken seriously” fics do, which is gives us an amusing premise but never deviates from the voices of these characters we know so well. Very mild warning for homophobia. Also be sure to read the rest of the AITA series.

10. peace came upon me (and it leave me weak) by outdean (@outdean), 73,773 words, E, destiel, canonverse

After Cas gets taken to the empty, Dean gets sober. Cas comes back a year later. Problems ensue. This one deals seriously and carefully with addiction and alcoholism, especially heavy mistakes done under the influence. Dean has a lot of growing to do and a lot to atone for, and he isn’t let off the hook easy. Cas has his own journey as he learns to forgive Dean for passed mistakes and navigate a future life with the man he’s in love with. It’s not an easy path, and it’s not an easy story to read, but it’s well worth it. Outdean navigates serious issues with finesse and delicacy that’s wonderful to observe. 

Honorable mention: 

Pater by TaraxcumWine, (couldn’t find a tumblr),  184,366 words, E, destiel, AU

I recced this as a WIP last year, but it finished posting early in 2022. I didn’t want it to take up a spot again, but I can't help but mention it. It’s a thoughtful, intricate, and beautiful look in Dean and Cas’s relationship from their first meeting to present day. It deals with heavy themes of child abuse, past non-con, mental health issues, homophobia, etc. so tread carefully. This is especially recommended for those who liked spirit of the west or my own silver linings series, as it deals with similar themes. It’s very well worth the read despite the hefty length. 

[happy-lemon]

Yay! Thank you @akitasimblr @miss-may-i and anon for the asks. 💕 I put them together because of the overlap in questions.

2: My favorite expansion pack is Snowy Escape. I don't know why, but everything about Mt. K is charming and sending my sims snowboarding is the most fun for me.

3: My favorite traits are self-assured, loves the outdoors, adventurous, child of the islands, and child of the village.

Wait. I think I answered that incorrectly. My traits would be: creative, adventurous, art lover, bookworm, foodie.

5: I have so many favorite creators that I don't even know where to start, but a quick look in my mod folder shows that I have a lot of stuff from @pinkbox-anye that I use a lot. I would also be nowhere without all of @rebouks amazing poses.

6: My Simblr crush would probably also be @rebouks who is a masterful storyteller, fantastic with screenshot composition, and a wonderful builder and posemaker. How could you not love a triple threat?!

7: My lifetime achievement in the game would probably be finishing the Happy Lemon No Rules Legacy in Sims 3. I had so much fun with that legacy and I sometimes miss the Hinata-Dean-de la Cruz-Trigger-Luna-Solomon-Delaney-Shimada gang.

9: In Sims 3 my favorite world is Sunlit Tides. I love the vibe, love the locals (shoutout to my favorite hot blockhead, Suzuki Hinata), and so many of my best adventures have happened there. In Sims 4 my favorite world is probably San Myshuno. I love the city living and that feeling of community in the Spice District.

13: A picture of my favorite sim.

Did you think it would be Lola? (She'd be a close second.)

[kizzyedgelll]

Hi, everyone! Welcome to my 11th shoutout series! I've already explained it here, but this series consist of me praising content creators and showing my favorite creations every week.

This is, actually, a part 2 of my previous post. Basically, since I stopped with this series for a while, I gathered all of my favorite posts from those weeks (this is why the same creator may appear here twice) and created a new year's edition!

Happy new year! May your 2024 be full of joy and amazing things for you and those you love and, if you don't celebrate new year like this, you are still very much welcome to enjoy this list of beautiful creations. ✨🎉 🥂

Our Flag Means Death gifset by @edwards-teach

Alex and Henry from Red, White and Royal Blue artwork by @zmoknus

Matt Murdock from Daredevil gifset by @malafvma

Death Note ep. 28 gifset by @vampirecorleone

Loki from Loki (hehe) gifset by @linusbenjamin (Loki spoilers)

The Fall of the House of Usher gifset by @michaun

Loki 2x01 gifset by @waymond-wang (Loki spoilers)

Nick and Charlie from Heartstopper gifset by @lovandfear

The Hunger gifset by @talesfromthecrypts (blood tw)

Inglourious Basterds gifset by @jason-dean

Cillian Murphy in Christopher Nolan movies gifset by @madeline-kahn

Carmy from The Bear gifset by @hotch-girl

Spider-man Across the Spiderverse gifset by @obriy (flashing tw)

Eddie and Chrissy from Stranger Things artwork by @aicosu

Sally Jackson from Percy Jackson and the Olympians gifset by @taiturner (pjo spoilers)

Rosamund Pike in various movies by @rosamndpike

Zendaya's outfits in 2023 gifset by @zendadya (flashing tw)

The Grand Budapest Hotel gifset by @void-stilinskis

Howl's Moving Castle gifset by @fadeintoyou1993

Annabeth Chase from Percy Jackson and the Olympians gifset by @djo (pjo spoilers)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians gifset by @savajeffries (pjo spoilers)

[digitalmeowmix]

Happy Wincest Wednesday!

Thank your to @red-meat-my-beloved for the tag and the multiple fun prompts here:

I'll answer a few of them in separate posts.

What song describes samdean the most?

I can’t choose just one which is why my wincest playlist has two parts are over 9 hours combined 😅😅 😅 😅😅

But here are some of my favorites from my main. playlist

This is one of my favorite songs ever and for siblings in general but it works perfectly for Sam and Dean /Weechesters. It's also on my Dean playlist because it fits him perfectly. My dream SamDean fanvid song

This is a great song about doomed cycles which which fits the Winchester family curse/sickness and the boys dying for each other over and over really well and I hope someday to make a fanvid to it.

I saw a vid to this song at a small con run by LJ fangirls in 2006 and it’s no longer online and it altered my brain chemistry with how perfect it fits SamDean and I have have been obsessed with it since.

A popular SamDean song for a reason! Jensen even sang for Jared at a con.

Another popular song that is a great SamDean thesis

An old song I’ve been obsessed with since I was teenager because of how it fits the incest guilt perfectly. I use to make wincest vids in my head to this song.

Another old Placebo favorite which is perfect codependency song and another imaginary i fanvid n my head song .

A song I heard more recently but is so Sam and Dean I immediately added it on my already very long playlist.

angsty bittersweet Sacrifice church wedding song !

Another Nicole Dollanger fave. Please listen to all her music its very southern gothic dark wincest coded

"When it all came down to it was always me and you" "There is nothing past or present that i would put in front of you."

Another Mitski because her music is SamDean coded. Listen to this while watching AHBL to die instantly

hardcore AHBL and Swan song feels, I know it is blasphemy not to use Kate Bush but this is the first version I heard and I love it.

Protective brothers feels!

Ethel Cain’s whole catalogue is a perfect southern gothic style Weecest/Weechester soundtrack but if i had to choose one song of course its Inbred.

shoutout to @twochildreninamoteldemo who I think introduced me to her music when he talked about it.

No grave can hold their bodies down, they'll crawl home to each other.

Your in a car with a beautiful boy

I could go on for ever but i hit the tumblr link limit and this is already so long.

Tagging @twochildreninamoteldemo @fictionallemons @catnipster69 @darling-sammy

[muntadhir]

You guys I’m laughing so hard. I’m almost done with The Last One by Will Dean, and there’s this asshole character named Mr. Smith who I will call Mr. GEPPETTO

He’s terrible. The lads are all starving on an ocean liner out at sea and this Geppetto ass fucker finds twinkies and doesn’t tell anyone?? 12 whole ass twinkies. He eats 2 and then at breakfast another lad is like “let's call this fucker out” and then Mr. GEPPETTO is like “I just had 4 twinkies for breakfast! But I am such a good man, I am willing to share some of the rest with you” I adore him. 6 whole ass twinkies and he’s still like “I am owed further twinkies”

He’s constantly thinking of money and he’s like “I paid good money for this luxury trip!!! I am owed everything in the jewelry shop!!! If the ship goes down we’ll need this stolen currency to barter!! I WILL SUE YOU ALL!”

Also shoutout to when they were about to get rescued and he’s like “I have a heart condition, I’m going first”

Tl;Dr I want to see/read Geppetto in a survival situation like this being terrible, oh my god

[cometsandstardust]

i had a wonderful, while horrific idea late last night

(shoutout to @rosalineandrosemary who heard about this already)

you know what would be an absolute perfect way for john winchester to have been tortured in hell? ask him questions about his children, and for every detail he gets wrong he gets branded letter by letter with his children’s names.

what are their birthdays?

what was dean’s first hunt?

what was the date that sam was kicked out for wanting to go to college?

how old was dean when he started stealing to support himself and his brother? what about when he starting prostituting himself to make some extra money?

what was the name of sam’s late girlfriend?

when was the first time dean got in trouble with the law?

how old was sam when he got a gun instead of comfort for being scared of the dark?

what colors are their eyes?

what’s the name of sam’s imaginary friend?

what was the excuse dean gave for the bruises on his arms when he got sent to the boys home?

and eventually, because john was such a shitty human being, and an even more shitty father, he will have both of their full names etched into his skin for all eternity.

DEAN SAMUEL WINCHESTER

SAMUEL DEAN WINCHESTER

(i didn’t include adam in this, because 1) idk enough about the differences between his treatment towards him versus sam and dean and 2) idk what the questions would be )

[buckevantommy]

Hey! It's the first time Buck Begins anon from before!! First of all do not feel bad for rambling - that is exactly what that ask was for! I loved hearing your thoughts!

And to answer your question about how I started watching -- 911 was a show always a show on my 'to watch' radar but I didn't give it much thought? I did watch s1 of lone star tho. until then I saw bi Buck on my dash for the first time after Tommy kisses him and i just went oh??!??! 👀👀 I binge watched season 1 and 2, and then I gave up and ended up watching s7 part 2 live while also watching s3 for the first time 🤣 there were some gaps I had to fill using fanon knowledge but I think it worked? And now I'm furiously trying to watch s4 around my busy work schedule before s8 airs 😅🤣

Hasn't stopped my from reading bucktommy fic or posting gifsets tho. Tommy has bewitched me, I love him. Every time I watch a scene where Buck talks about his love life a part of me is just- don't worry, your man is coming

oh! same here! i'd known about it for years but i'd just avoided it thinking it was just a different take on the same old tired procedural cop shows, or maybe something too dramatised like grey's anatomy. i'm not sure i even realised it was about firefighters until i heard people referring to it as 'the gay firefighter show' and even then i didn't really connect the dots.. 🔥👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨🚒

one of my fave spn blogs (bc i was a destiel girlie before the gay firefighter show consumed my life) was a 911 fan so i learned about bi!buck through her blogging (shoutout to @sunglassesmish: kay, you have changed my life for the better 😚🫶). i mean, i came from spn - where bi!dean is widely considered unacknowledged canon and it's a show now several years past its finale but with a dedicated fanbase still hoping for some kind of reboot or movie or something to fix the shit they did in the finale - to a show with a canon bi character, moreover a character in his 30s who had been presumed (by some)/written as (sorta) straight for 6 whole seasons. and evan buckley.. he's so much like dean wincester: the all american heroic ladies man with a traumatic upbringing and a megawatt smile and babygirl features and a heart of gold who just wants to be loved.. honestly i could write essays about these two.. ✍️

i love that we're on the same page! i started with season 7 (i watched 7x05 and onwards live) and got through seasons 1-3 while s7 was airing week to week, and so my buck knowledge was growing as i excitedly waited for the next ep to air with the rest of fandom (there's just something about that weeklong anticipation, i've missed it so much - the theorising, the time for fanworks, etc). 📺

i was also the same, trying to learn what i could through dash osmosis of the seasons i hadn't watched yet (i knew vaguely about the lightning strike and tried not to spoil myself too much about the family secret but reading fic and meta blew those doors wide open 😅). and even in season 1 i was like: i'm so glad he'll grow to be that person in season 7 one day, that he'll get to be vulnerable and open and earnest and loved and also get kissed by a handsome guy. 🥰

OMG WE ARE BOTH ON SEASON 4!! 🥳 i mean, i knew that, but it's still so exciting to know there are folks out there in the same boat! ⛵ i don't think i've liveblogged any other ep besides Buck Begins, but i think i'll probably do a lightning strike/coma liveblog when i get to it.

omg the amount of bucktommy fics i've consumed since april.. i remember in those early days i was consuming every single fic that got posted on ao3 - about a dozen 1k fics a day - until eventually there was 60+ fics a day and i couldn't keep up, but i'm still reading about 2-5 fics (mostly short ones) a day. this fandom is hella talented. 📚

our love for tommy kinard knows no bounds. 🤝💖🤝 and YES- omg- the way he is just craving love and a partner on the same page as him, someone he can be himself with.. lightning boy will meet him flying into a hurricane and i just think that's neat. ⛈️😘

[spnhunter4life]

So Long

Summary: Jenna and Dean have known each other since she was 9 and he was 11. Their fathers often hunted together, so they grew up in next door motel rooms, keeping each other company and watching out for Sammy. They were inseparable until their dads inevitably fought and stopped working together. Shortly after Sam left for college, her father had been killed on a hunt and his dad had been more and more distant, so they started hunting together. In a world where everyone has a tattoo of their soulmate’s name that appears somewhere on them on their 16th birthday, it took them a ridiculous amount of time to figure things out.

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: I’ve always really loved the soulmate cliché, so I decided to write one of my own. As I was figuring out the basics of what I wanted to do, Niall Horan’s song So Long came on my playlist. It’s a beautiful song and I realized how well it fit the story I was trying to come up with, so this is based off of it.

A/N 2: So I just jumped back on the Supernatural bandwagon. While I was never truly off the wagon per se, it was more of a background appreciation for it while I was interested in other things. But I finally convinced myself to finish season 15 and now I'm all in again.

I remembered this fic I started like four years ago. I never posted it because it wasn't finished. It's still not, but I went back and reread what I have so far, and I'm actually super happy with it. So, that being said, I'm going to admit that I'm a super inconsistent writer. I might be super motivated to write for a few days (which I definitely am right now) and then not write again for a year. That's half the reason I never posted it. The other half is because, while I don't actually write things down often, I make stories in my head constantly and I've realized that I often go back and change details to fit the new direction I've decided to go in. And so I didn't want to post this until I was all done in case I wanted to make changes. But I decided I can edit and let people know things changed if it comes to that. I'm hoping if I can get some people to see this and get a little feedback, it will keep me motivated to write. All feedback is appreciated! Tell me what you liked. Tell me what could improve. Let me know if you find any grammar errors or inconsistencies. As long as it’s said nicely, I’m glad for absolutely any comments you might have.

My plan is to update weekly to give myself time to get the next chapters done. The second chapter is currently done/super close to done. Not sure if I want to add more to it or move it to another chapter. I’ve got a decent start on chapter 3 also. With the outline I have currently, this story is set to be 8 chapters. That could easily change though. 

Also, shoutout to @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​. You probably don’t even remember, but you read this chapter over for me way back when I first wrote it, so thanks for the support you gave me then!

Sorry for the super long note, and thanks for reading this far if you did!

Series Masterlist

Looking back through changes Where we started from Don’t know about you but I Knew it wasn’t wrong

Ages 16 and 17 June 25, 1996

I woke up, not exactly expecting to feel different, but maybe hoping. Today I would find out who my soulmate was. At least, I’d get a first name. Even though I knew it was stupid to get my hopes up, I couldn’t help but secretly want it to be Dean’s name. I was also nervous. Did I really want to know? If it wasn’t Dean, how would I deal with the disappointment? But if it was Dean, how could I possibly approach a subject like that? And even then, it wouldn’t mean it was Dean Winchester I was meant to be with. There were other Deans in the world. And wouldn’t he have said something by now if my name was tattooed on him somewhere?

Taking a deep breath, I looked over all of the skin currently exposed by my pajamas. Nothing on my arms or legs from the knees down.  I looked at the clock and saw that it was already 9:30. I couldn’t believe I’d slept that long, that my dad had let me!

I jumped out of bed, grabbing my towel and clothes for the day, heading straight for the shower. I’d made one friend in this small Louisiana town, a very outgoing girl I’d bumped into while getting groceries with Sam and Dean. She’d been excited to meet someone new, saying all of her friends were on vacation for the summer, and she and I were supposed to meet up soon to spend the day together.

I started the shower to let the temperature adjust and then started the process of removing my clothes, checking each inch of revealed skin for a name. Nothing yet, then. Supposedly, the name showed up around the time of day you were born. I had no idea what time that was, so I would let Alyssa distract me for the day and check again tonight.

When I came out of the bathroom wearing shorts and a t-shirt with my hair in a ponytail to combat some of the summer heat, my dad was just closing the door, chocolate chip muffins, my favorite breakfast food, in his hand.

“Happy birthday,” he smiled. “How does it feel to be sixteen?” He asked this question every year, but this was the big year, and it held a little more weight behind it. “It feels… pretty much the same as every other year I guess.” I told him honestly. Other than my nerves being slightly on edge with the upcoming soulmate reveal, it felt like any other day. “What are you still doing here? I thought you and John would’ve left by now.”

“That was the original plan, but I couldn’t leave without seeing my daughter on her birthday. I wanted to have the chance to eat breakfast together. The case can wait a couple hours.” He told me, sitting down at the table.

“Where are those two shadows of yours?” He teased as I took a seat across from him and grabbed a muffin. I knew he wouldn’t ask about my tattoo. He didn’t like people prying into his life and he didn’t pry into mine. He knew I’d tell him if I wanted to.

“I have no idea,” I replied as I peeled the wrapper off my muffin. “I haven’t seen either of them, but I just got up. Thanks for letting me sleep in by the way.”

“I figured one day can’t hurt. But don’t think you can go slacking off. It’s back to morning runs and training after this.” He said before taking a bite of his own muffin. “I still don’t understand why those boys aren’t here. You three make such a big deal out of each other’s birthdays, I half expected them to break down the door.” He mused.

“Maybe they forgot. And we don’t make ‘such a big deal.’ One present and a movie night isn’t too much to ask. Besides, it’s mostly Sam. Dean always made a big deal about his birthdays growing up and so Sam learned to do the same for us.” I told him.

“Yeah but a bunch of kids scrounging up enough money to get those presents for each other is a big deal.” He said with a fond smile. Taking the last bite of his muffin, he stood and grabbed something off of the counter. “Speaking of presents,” he said as he handed it to me.

“Dad, you didn’t have to.” I told him as I grabbed it. 

“I know I didn’t, but it’s not every day your baby girl turns sixteen. It’s not much, but I thought you would enjoy it.” He replied a little awkwardly.

I grinned and wrapped my arms around him, Backstreet Boys CD clutched in my hand. I had found them on accident really. It was all Alyssa’s fault. I generally enjoyed the same music as Dean, but she had showed me one of their songs and I couldn’t get it out of my head. Dad had heard me humming it one day which led to an embarrassing confession.

“Don’t tell Dean.” I pleaded, knowing the endless teasing and likely judgment I would be on the receiving end of if he found out. “Oh, I wouldn’t dare.” Dad laughed, pulling away from the hug.

“I should probably go find him though,” I said, glancing at the clock. “I’m supposed to meet Alyssa soon and he said he’d drive me.”

“Have fun!” I heard him shout as I left our motel room. I saw the Impala parked by the room next door, so I knew he was here at least. Since Dean has legally been able to drive, John gave it to Dean and the two of them take either my dad’s truck or the one John had purchased after gifting Dean the Impala. As I raised my hand to knock, the door flew open.

“Oh!” John said, startled. “I was just going to tell your dad we need to get going. I’m glad you’re up.” Then he was in the motel room I’d just abandoned, not waiting for my response.

“Hi to you to.” I mumbled under my breath. I walked through the door John had left open to see Dean sprawled out on the couch. He turned to me when I closed the door and grinned.

“Hey, there’s the birthday girl!” He exclaimed, prompting Sam to run out of the bathroom, dressed and looking fresh from the shower, toothbrush in his mouth.

“Jenna! You’re here! I wanted to go to your room a while ago, but Dean told me to let you sleep. Were you sleeping?” Before I could answer him, he rushed on. “He told me you’re going to spend the day with your friend, but we’re still going to have our movie night, right? We have to have our movie night. It’s our tradition!”

“Breathe, Sam.” I chuckled. “Of course we’re having movie night. It wouldn’t be a birthday without it. Now how about you go finish brushing your teeth before you start drooling on the floor.” Content with my answer, he hurried back to the bathroom, hand cupped under his chin where toothpaste bubbles were trying to drip down.

“So,” Dean drawled, getting up off the couch. “The big 16. How’s it feel?” He walked over to stand next to me and, not for the first time, I was struck with how effortlessly gorgeous he was. His hair was tousled and still slightly damp from the shower he must have taken this morning. He wore his usual jeans, t-shirt, flannel, and boots, the amulet Sam had given him hanging around his neck, but somehow, he was the most attractive guy I had ever seen. I knew it wasn’t a biased opinion, every girl in every school always drooled after him.

“I assume it feels the same as you felt a year ago.” I replied once my brain started functioning again. “You still good to take me to meet Alyssa?” I asked.

“Sweetheart, have I ever bailed on you?” He asked, mock offended.

“Well…” I trailed off, remembering the handful of times Sam and I had been left to fend for ourselves while he was off with a girl. When I saw him looking at me expectantly, I sighed. “Not when it really counted, no.” I relented.

“Did you ask her yet?” Sam questioned, reappearing from the bathroom and heading for Dean. Dean sighed and looked at me. “Is it ok with you if Sam comes with to drop you off? I don’t know why he’s even asking. I know you don’t care, but he wouldn’t leave me alone about it this morning.”

“That’s not true!” Sam denied. “He told me I could come if you said yes, and I know you usually don’t care, but since you’re 16 today I thought you might want to talk.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“Talk about what?” I asked, brow wrinkled in confusion. There’s not much Dean and I didn’t talk about in front of the kid. I don’t know why he thought there was suddenly a need for privacy or what being 16 had to do with it. “About-” he started, but then cut himself off, looking anxious. “I don’t know.” He continued, head down and shuffling his feet. “Just… being 16?”

I looked to Dean, hoping for some kind of explanation, but he just shrugged his shoulders, although he seemed a little annoyed, like he knew more than he was letting on. I wasn’t in the mood to press the issue though.

“Ok…. Well I don’t have any super-secret conversations that need to be had with your brother, so if you want to come along, that’s fine.” I assured Sam. 

“Good! When are we leaving?” He asked excitedly.

“If Dean’s ready, then right now would be good.” I replied, looking to Dean. He answered by shrugging on his leather jacket, plucking the keys off the table and holding the door open for me.

With everyone piled in the car, Dean started toward the mall where I was supposed to meet Alyssa. It was a typical car ride, Sam chattering away in the back, and Dean humming along to Led Zeppelin. I told Dean where to park. Alyssa wasn’t there yet, but I was content to sit and wait with the boys.

“I thought we might have to wait until tonight to give this to you, but I’m glad we don’t have to.” Sam said excitedly, pulling a box out of his jacket pocket. “It was my idea to get this kind of present for you, but Dean helped me pick it out.” He looked to his brother with a proud smile before handing the box to me.

I was a little nervous to open it. Sam was so excited, I didn’t want to disappoint him if I didn’t like it. Although he’d never say anything, I could tell Dean was a little nervous too by the way he tensed his shoulders and bit his lip. I carefully opened the box and gasped.

Inside was a bracelet made from ribbons of silk. It was twisted around so that it looked like four different strands. The top and bottom of each ribbon was an olive green while the middle was mulberry. One of the ribbons wrapped through a gold button that was used to adjust the size. I couldn’t believe something so beautiful was for me.

“I love it!” I told them as I took it out of the box to place on my left wrist. I noticed Dean’s quiet, relieved exhale and turned to hug him. “Thank you.” I whispered. He wrapped his arms around me before mumbling a quiet “You’re welcome,” into my hair.

“And thank you too!” I said, pulling away from Dean to face a fidgety, giddy looking Sam in the back. He flung his upper body over the seat to get a hug of his own. “You’re gonna have a pretty hard time topping this one.” I informed him as I sat back. Sam just grinned.

“My friend at the last school had a bracelet that she wore all the time and I asked her if that was a good idea for a 16th birthday present for you,” he explained. “She said if you like jewelry it was a good idea, and I know you like Dean's amulet, so I told him about my idea and he said we’d keep an eye out for anything you might like. There was a lot of stuff I thought you would like, but Dean kept saying they weren’t right.” I glanced at Dean and saw a slight blush gracing his freckled cheeks.

“He liked that one as soon as he saw it. I didn’t know why you’d like it any better than any of the ones I pointed out, but I know you guys know each other really well so I just told him to make sure you knew getting a bracelet was my idea.” He finished, slightly out of breath.

Before I could say anything to assure Sam I appreciated his efforts and relieve Dean of his embarrassment, there was a knock on my window. Startled, I jumped a little before facing the window where Alyssa stood waiting. Turning to look at the boys, I thanked them again for the amazing present and then opened the door to get out of the car and say hi to her. As I was closing the door, I heard Dean say my name.

“Just a second.” I said to Alyssa before opening the door again and sticking my head in. “What’s up?” I asked.

“I was just wondering when and where I should be picking you up.” He replied. “Oh, right. I didn’t even think about that.” I said, turning to Alyssa to figure out the details. “Cleary.” He teased. I looked back at him, sarcastic comment at the ready, but I saw the twinkle in his eye and knew he was just joking. I shushed him and closed the door, turning to once again face Alyssa.

“I can drive you back, it’s no problem.” She assured me. 

“Are you sure? Dean doesn’t have anything else he needs to be doing, and I know he likes to do it anyway. He’s a bit protective like that. The first time he dropped Sam off at a friend’s I thought he was going to sit outside the house the whole time.” I told her, smiling at the memory.

“It’s really no problem. I don’t have any definite plans for the day so I wouldn’t know what to tell him anyway.” She said. 

“Ok…” I trailed off, giving her one last chance to change her mind. She gave me a look, clearly stating that she wouldn’t so I passed the information on to Dean.

“You don’t even have a guess about when you’ll be done?” He asked. I knew he liked to have a timeline so if someone wasn’t back when they were expected he would know something was wrong. If he didn’t have any schedule to follow, he’d spend the whole time worrying, unsure if something had happened or we just weren’t done yet. 

“Well I have to be back in time for movie night,” I reminded him with a wink in Sam’s direction, “so I won’t be gone any later than… say 8:30? That should give us time to watch a couple of movies before Sam passes out.”

“Yeah, ok.” Dean relented, slightly less on edge now that he had a set time. “Have fun.” He smiled. I closed the door and watched them drive off.

“Are you ready to do some shopping?” Alyssa asked with a grin.

~~~~~

“You have to have a swimsuit!” Alyssa insisted as we walked by racks of them at Kohl’s. “Not if you never go swimming, you don’t.” I countered.

“But what if you do go swimming? What are you going to wear then?” She argued. “I don’t know. I’m sure if the opportunity came up, I’d just go buy one.” I told her. “Then why not buy one now?” She asked.

“Because,” I sighed. “We move around a lot. We’re not exactly hitting up five-star hotels with pools or renting homes that have one. I think the last time I went swimming was when I was 12 and the house we were renting had a pond.”

“Ok, well I have a pool, it’s the middle of summer in Louisiana, and I might invite you over to swim sometime. Besides, I’m buying so you can’t really argue that much.” She said, flipping her strawberry blonde hair as she turned and pulled me towards the swimwear.

“That’s a nice bracelet,” she commented, looking at my wrist where I was half-heartedly searching through a rack of one-piece swimsuits. “Yeah,” I smiled. “Sam and Dean gave it to me for my birthday.”

“It’s pretty. I didn’t think boys were any good at finding decent jewelry.” She remarked as she moved on to the next rack. She didn’t like the one-pieces anyway and had only been humoring me, ironic since I was only humoring her about the swimsuits in general. 

“I swear Dean has some sort of sixth sense for what people will like. Well,” I corrected, “not people. But me and Sam.”

“This one! You have to try this one!” Alyssa said excitedly, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked to where she was holding a white and blue two-piece. “I know you didn’t want a two-piece, but this isn’t a bikini. It doesn’t show much more than a one-piece would.” Seeing my hesitation, she continued. “Just try it on. If you hate it, we’ll put it back.”

“Yes!” She cheered, seeing my resignation. She handed the suit to me and led the way to the changing rooms.

It was definitely a nice-looking suit, I’d give her that much. The top piece was thick enough all the way through that there was no danger of anything showing. It had a clasp in the back and three strings to tie around my neck, two white and one robin’s egg blue. The bottom piece started like a normal bikini bottom, but thicker. Above the hips it cut in to cover only the front of my torso, leaving my back and sides exposed, and went up to the bottom of my ribs. There were three strings encircling my back, keeping the material up. It was decorated with flowers in shades of blue, and as much as I liked it – although I’d never admit it to Alyssa – I didn’t think I would be comfortable wearing it in public.

“Are you ready yet?” I heard her ask through the door. 

“Kind of. I have it on, but I don’t know if I want to come out.” I admitted. 

“Come on, you can’t look that bad.” She encouraged.

“It’s not that.” I told her. “I’m just not comfortable showing this much skin. I live in jeans, you know. The only reason I’m wearing shorts is because I might actually die from this heat.”

“Just come out. No one’s going to see you. I promise there’s no one else around.” She encouraged.

I sighed before opening the door and peering my head around. I was met with an unimpressed look. “Alright, I’m coming.” I relented. I stepped out of the changing stall and was greeted with a wolf whistle from Alyssa. “Cut it out!” I blushed.

“Why? You look great!” she exclaimed. “As much as I like that bracelet, it really doesn’t match the-” she cut off. 

“What?” I asked nervously? 

“Umm… did you find your tattoo yet?”

I was a little shocked. It was an awfully personal question to be asking someone you’d only known for a couple of weeks. “No. Why?” I asked a little defensively. She nodded toward my left side where my hand was hanging by my hip. I impulsively lifted it to my face, scanning for the name. 

“Not your hand,” she said.

I slowly looked down to my left side just above my hip where, just as she said, I could see the top of thick black letters peeking over the swimsuit.

~~~~~

“Alright, right’s wrong?” Dean asked, pausing the movie. We were halfway through our second movie of the night, Mission Impossible, and while I was enjoying it, I couldn’t seem to sit still. I was sat between the two boys, Dean’s arm resting on the back of the couch behind my head, our usual seating situation on movie nights. Sam was slouched over, starting to drift off. He could never seem to stay awake for more than one movie.

“What? Nothing’s wrong. Why do you think something’s wrong?” I asked him.

“Well, you haven’t sat still for more than five minutes at a time and I can see the wheels spinning in your head. You know you can talk to me about anything right?” He sounded genuinely concerned. 

“I know.” I sighed.

“Nothing happened, right? You’ve seemed a little off since you got back.” He pushed, not for the information he knew I wasn’t ready to give, but for assurance that I was alright. 

“I’m fine,” I told him honestly. “It’s just… I found my tattoo while we were trying on clothes. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, figure out how I feel.” I confessed.

“Oh.” Was his only response. I could tell he wanted to press for more information, but he stayed quiet.

~~~~~

“I can’t look at it. I don’t want to know what it says. What do I do?” I asked. My breath was coming faster and I was starting to panic.

“Hey. Hey! Jenna! Look at me. Deep breath.” Alyssa calmly instructed, demonstrating and breathing with me until my breathing was back to normal. “You’re going to have to see it sometime. It’s unavoidable. Right now, it doesn’t change anything. It just gives you a name. You can do whatever you want with that name once you have it. It doesn’t decide anything for you.”

I knew she was right and steeled myself to look at it, Alyssa waiting patiently. Carefully, I pushed the swimsuit strap down just enough to reveal the name underneath.

DEAN

 Ages 14 and 16 January 24, 1995

Dean’s POV

I stared at the ceiling, willing myself to find the energy to get out of bed. I heard Sam moving around, getting ready for school, but I couldn’t bring myself to do the same. I knew that by the end of the day I would have letters inked into my skin. Letters that spelled out my soulmate’s name. I had no illusions about my family’s lifestyle and what it would mean for my soulmate. It would be a bittersweet moment, finally learning her name, but knowing I could never allow myself to be with her, to put her in that kind of danger.

With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I rubbed my eyes before standing up and starting to get ready for the day. I had decided I wasn’t going to look for the tattoo. I would put it off for as long as I could and see it whenever I happened to stumble upon the patch of skin it showed up on.

~~~~~

It had been a pretty good morning. My anxiety had faded to the background when a smiling Jenna came into our room with bacon, eggs and toast for breakfast. It wasn’t elaborate by any means, but it was more than we usually had and the fact that she took the time to make it for us, for me, made it that much more special.

The two of them had given me the gift they picked out right away this morning when an excited Sam decided he couldn’t wait until after school. He halfway disappeared under the bed for a few seconds, wiggling his way back out with a box clutched in his hands. He proudly handed it to me and then watched in eager anticipation as I opened two new movies, Jumanji and Batman Forever.

“Now we have something to watch for movie night too!” He exclaimed. I thanked them both and then we headed to school, Jenna’s dad dropping us off.

Now I was sitting in the locker room, changing back into my regular clothes after gym class. I had opted out of a shower, not wanting to find my tattoo in this miserable place, surrounded by strangers I would have to guard my reaction around. I had my foot up on the bench I was sitting on, switching out my sweaty socks for a dry pair, lost in my thoughts when I heard someone to my left snicker and say, “Isn’t Jenna your sister?”

My head whipped around to look at Matt, the guy who had spoken. He was a sophomore like me, and while he wasn’t wildly popular, he sure thought he was something special. “What?” I snapped, confused about why he was asking about her. My protective instincts flared up. We had only been at this school for a week, but I was well aware how attractive Jenna was, and if this kid thought he was going to try something he had another thing coming. “Why?” I asked, failing to keep the suspicion out of my voice.

“Didn’t the two of you show up around the same time? And I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the two of you coming to school in the same car,” he mused. “So you must be her brother. That’s gotta be pretty awkward. Unless you know another Jenna?” 

“I don’t have to explain anything to you,” I snapped.

“Dude, don’t they have different last names?” Chimed in a freshman whose name I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure if I should be grateful for or irritated by his input. “So unless they have different dads or something… I don’t think they’re related.” Irritated, I decided. He hadn’t said anything offensive, and his analysis wasn’t wrong, but I found I didn’t like the way he was obviously looking for Matt’s approval.

“Really? How do you know that?” Matt asked. Without waiting for a reply, he continued.

“Well that’s a relief. It would be pretty weird if your sister was your soulmate.” He laughed. “Too bad though,” he continued, having gained the attention of most of the locker room. “She’s not half bad looking. I might ask her out anyway, see what she really thinks about her pathetic, loser soulmate.”

I clenched my jaw. Having lived in tight quarters for years, Jenna and Sam had learned to back off at this, that it meant I was seriously pissed off. Matt had the misfortune of not knowing me so well. “Leave her alone.” I warned. I had managed to keep my temper so far, but if he actually made a move on her, all bets were off. 

“Don’t worry,” Matt drawled on. “I’ll test her out for you. Let you know if she’s actually worth your ti-”

Before he even realized I was moving I had crossed the couple of steps to him, grabbed a fistful of his shirt, and shoved him back into the lockers. “I don’t know what you’re even talking about,” I seethed, “but you better stay away from her or I’ll make sure that my pathetic loser face is the last thing you see before I put you in the hospital.”

I turned away from him and, after taking a step, ducked, effectively dodging the punch I had seen him getting ready to throw. I spun back around and landed a solid punch to his face before grabbing my shoes and walking out the door. It wasn’t until I was sitting in the bleachers lacing up my boots that I saw it. Inked into the skin of my left ankle was her name.

JENNA

Chapter 2

[shinelikethunder]

Hellooo i was intrigued by your "fucked up supernatural shit" posts so i binged the fucked up episodes you suggested and now I'm a supernatural fan, sadly. I still refuse to watch all of it so i would very much appreciate if you could recommend some more fucked up episodes, especially focused on sam-dean-john dynamics. Also I like your taste in fucked up stuff so if you have any other fandoms to recommend I'd also appreciate that

idk if you caught the reblog with the Sicko Cut Bonus Episodes but every suggestion in there is also a doozy; for a broader range of "sick shit and fucked-up family dynamics" episodes i'd expand it to (previously recced eps in parentheses):

season one: 1, (6), 9/10/11, 14/15/16, (18), and (20/21/22)

season two: (1)/2/3/4/5, (8), 10, 11, (14), and 20/21/22

season three: this is where my ability to pick favorites starts breaking down; s3 is kinda my fave of all the seasons, but for the overall vibe rather than particular standouts. it's only 16 episodes long, so watching it in full is more doable. but the fucky family shit is strongest in episodes 1, 2, 8, (10), 11, and 14/15/16.

season four: i regret to admit that just about every episode in this season is a straight fucking banger. like, the only two i'd be tempted to skip aren't even bad. but extra-special sicko shoutouts to episodes 1, (3), 9/10/11, 14, 16, 19, and 20.

on to the slimmer pickings...

season five: the first five are a fun time and the last two or three SLAP, but man, the handful of salvageable eps in the middle are buried in a minefield of ones i WANT to slap.

season six: look, i may not respect s6 or think it's good, but by GOD do i enjoy it. the WHOLE THING is the new showrunner's grody id-fic, but episodes 5 and 10 are on a special level of sick.

season seven: .....no.

ok, ok, MAYBE 1, 2, 11, 15, and 17. but this is where SPN starts getting truly wretched.

after that... 8x03 i guess, 9x07, 9x19, 10x03, 10x09, 11x04...

s11 i actually found pretty enjoyable, and everything from 11x09 through 11x14 starts serving GREAT grody id-fic vibes again. but bail out after 11x19 at latest, because the end of the season is. bad.

s12-15 have a couple of arc plots with sicko potential i guess? but in my head most of the episodes are an undifferentiated blob of Does Not Fuck.

there are also a handful of early-seasons eps that are softer and sadder that i love a lot: 1x03, 1x12, 2x13, 2x16... plus for "mixed bag but the fun parts are a total blast," 2x17, 3x06, and 3x12.

[sixcostumerefs]

Performance Stats: 2022 (mainland edition)

Alright, it’s (no longer) that time of year again! Summary of all 2022 calendar year performances stats!! - This was a CRAZY year full of cross-production covers + emergency cover chaos so very fun to write up. It also made it a bit of a challenge with organization. If an actor was primarily with one production but served as an emergency cover for another, I listed them with their primary or initial production. - Yearly disclaimer that some errors and/or disparities could exist. - And as always, if you repost/use these stats anywhere, please credit me @sixcostumerefs (or six.costume.refs on Insta) And as always....a shoutout to Dionne Ward-Anderson, who featured in the largest number of performances this year, at a whopping 353 shows! Runner up is Andrea Macasaet at 327 shows, with Brittney Mack a very close third with 322! Most performing Aragon was Phoenix Jackson Mendoza (270), Seymour was Claudia Kariuki (293), Howard was Samantha Pauly (314.5), and Parr was Meesha Turner (267.5, but Alana Robinson was at 267). 2021-22 West End Amy di Bartolomeo: 242 performances Amanda Lindgren 255 performances Tsemaye Bob-Egbe: 233 performances Meesha Turner: 267.5 performances Paisley Billings: 114.5 performances (55 A, 44.5 C, 14 P) 2022-23 West End Rhianne-Louise McCaulsky: 81 performances Baylie Carson: 78 performances Koko Basigara: 65 performances Monique Ashe-Palmer: 14 performances (7 A, 1 B, 6 C) Leah Vassell: 40 performances (20 S, 1 C, 19 P) 2021-22 UK Tour Lauren Drew: 71 performances Maddison Bulleyment: 62 performances Caitlin Tipping: 68 performances Shekinah McFarlane: 60 performances Vicki Manser: 63 performances Elena Gyasi: 66 performances (61 regular prior to cast change + 5 emergency cover post-CC) Cassy Lee: 22 performances (8 A, 14 C) Cherelle Jay: 7 performances (1 B, 1 S, 2 C, 3 P) 2022-23 UK Tour Chloe Hart: 269 performances Casey Al-Shaqsy: 252 performances total (249 on UKT + 3 as E/C for WE) Aiesha Pease: 7 performances Jessica Niles: 237-245 performances total (19-27 performances with Breakaway 2.0, 218 performances with UKT) Jaina Brock-Patel: 110 performances Rebecca Wickes: 72 performances Alana M Robinson: 267 performances Harriet Caplan-Dean: 72 performances (10 A, 9 B, 13 S, 7 C, 18 H, 15 P) Grace Melville: 153 performances total w/ 151 performances on UKT (55 A, 4 B, 91 C with 60 of those performances as T/R, 1 P) + 2 as E/C for WE (2 C) Leesa Tulley: 186 performances (1 A, 35 B, 11 S, 137 H with 57 of those performances as T/R, 2 P) 2021-22 Broadway (+ Aug replacements) Adrianna Hicks: 202 performances Bre Jackson: 123 performances (two of these were half shows) Andrea Macasaet: 327 performances Abby Mueller: 117 performances Keri Rene Fuller: 183 performances (59 as T/R, 1 as early debut, the rest as principal) Brittney Mack: 322 performances Samantha Pauly: 314.5 performances Anna Uzele: 97 performances Joy Woods: 146 performances Brennyn Lark: 85 performances Mallory Maedke: 67.5 performances (16.5 A, 47 S, 4 H) Nicole Kyoung-Mi Lambert: 95 performances (39 A, 26 B, 30 C; two A were half-shows) Courtney Mack: 99.5 performances (25 B, 57.5 H, 17 P) Keirsten Hodgens: 107 performances total. 104 on Bway + 3 as emergency cover for Aragon Tour (Bway was 33 S, 25 C, 46 P; Tour was 3 C). Ayla Ciccone-Burton: 20 performances total. 12 pre-CC + 8 post-CC (pre-CC was 2 B, 3 C, 7 P; post-CC was 2 B, 3 C, 3 P) Holli’ Conway: 18 performances total. 9 pre-CC + 9 post-CC (pre-CC 3 C, 6 H; post-CC 5 A, 4 H) Hana Stewart: 2 performances (1 A, 1 P) 2022-23 Broadway Hailee Kaleem Wright: 27 performances Leandra Ellis-Gaston: 30 performances Bella Coppola: 30 performances Nasia Thomas: 29 performances Zoe Jensen: 19 performances Taylor Iman Jones: 29 performances Kristina Leopold: 2 performances (all as S) Aubrey Matalon: 9 performances (all as H) Aragon Tour Khaila Wilcoxon: 258 performances Storm Lever: 267 performances Jasmine Forsberg: 267 performances Olivia Donalson: 263 performances Didi Romero: 261 performances Gabriela Francesca Carrillo: 257 performances Cassie Silva: 41 performances total. 4 with Broadway + 37 with Aragon Tour (Broadway 3 B, 1 H; Aragon Tour 10 B, 13 C, 14 H) Kelly Denice Taylor: 29 performances total. 3 with Boy + 26 with Aragon Tour (Bway 3 S; Aragon Tour was 12 A, 7 S, 7 C) Kelsey Kimmel: 43 performances (16 A, 12 S, 15 P) Erin Ramirez: 34 performances (9 B, 11 H, 14 P) Boleyn Tour Gerianne Perez: 95 performances Zan Berube: 96 performances Amina Faye: 89 performances Terica Marie: 93 performances Aline Mayagoitia: 91 performances Sydney Parra: 96 performances Cecilia Snow: 18 performances (4 A, 11 S, 3 C) Tay Pearlstein: 13 performances (5 B, 7 H, 1 P) Jana Larell Glover: 20 performances (5 A, 8 C, 7 P) Aryn Bohannon: 13 performances (3 B, 4 S, 6 H) Australia Tour Phoenix Jackson Mendoza: 270 performances Kala Gare: 283 performances Loren Hunter: 291 performances Kiana Daniele: 269 performances Chelsea Dawson: 267 performances Video Makan: 254.5 performances Karis Oka: 137 performances (13 A, 28 B, 1 S, 26 C, 38 H, 31 P) Shannen Alyce Quan: 86 performances (9 A, 14 B, 30 S, 2 C, 6 H, 25 P) Chiara Assetta: 93 performances (29.5 A, 3 B, 3 S, 32 C, 18 H, 6.5 P) Cristina D’Agostino: 7 performances (all as P) Madeline Fansler: performances (with Breakaway 3.0: . 16 with Aus Tour: 7 A, 4 S, 5 P) Actors who primarily continued with their initial productions: Claudia Kariuki: 293 performances - 231 pre-CC - 62 post-CC Dionne Ward-Anderson: 353 performances - 269 pre-CC - 84 post-CC Roxanne Couch: 178 performances - Totalling 1 A, 5 B, 61 S, 13 H, 98 P - 122 pre-CC (1 A, 5 B, 61 S, 13 H, 42 P; two of the P were half performances) - 56 post-CC as principal Parr Rachel Rawlinson: 166 performances - Totalling 44 A, 13 B, 51 S, 29 C, 16 H, 13 P - 142 pre-CC (40 A, 12 B, 37 S, 29 C, 13 H, 11 P; 1 C + 1 S were mid-show swing-ons) - 24 post-CC (4 A, 1 B, 14 S, 3 H, 2 P) Esme Rothero: 153 performances - Totalling 19 A, 32 B, 19 S, 16 C, 27 H, 40 P - 129 pre-CC (17 A, 31 B, 19 S, 16 C, 19 H, 27 P) - 24 post-CC (2 A, 1 B, 8 H, 13 P) Danielle Rose: 192 performances - 152 pre-CC (6 A, 51 B, 4 S, 3 C, 87 H, 1 P) - 40 post-CC (15 B, 21 H, 4 P) Jennifer Caldwell: 289 performances total - Totalling 296 as B, 11 H, 3 P - 21 pre-CC as alt (7 B, 11 H, 3 P) - 287 post-CC as principal Boleyn - 2 as E/C Boleyn for West End Natalie Pilkington: 142 performances total - Totalling 8 A, 3 B, 65 S, 12 C, 2 H, 52 P - 130 performances with 22-23 UKT (2 A, 3 B, 64 S, 12 C, 1 H, 48 P) - 3 performances w 21-22 UKT (1 A, 1 H, 1 P) - 9 performances as E/C for WE (5 A, 1 S, 3 P) Standby swings: Harriet Watson: 78 performances total - Totalling 2 A, 19 B, 21 S, 14 C, 6 H, 14 P - 42 performances as alt for the 21-22 UKT (10 B, 11 S, 4 C, 5 H, 12 P) - 3 performances as E/C on the UKT (3 C) - 17 performances as E/C for the WE (6 B, 6 S, 2 C, 1 P) - 6 performances as standby swing for 21-22 WE (2 B, 3 S, 1 H) - 10 performances as standby swing for 22-23 WE (2 A, 1 B, 1 S, 5 C, 1 P) Marilyn Caserta: 5-7 performances total - all as Aragon - 2-4 Bliss 3.0 (all as A) - 3 Bway (all E/C as A) Emergency Covers Courtney Bowman: 1 performance (WE)