#sick of going to fucking youth activities

[theblabarmy]

fuck. im going to girls camp in 2 days. i fucking hate this. i fucking hate mormonism and i fucking hate being around those people

[hexastitchimera]

I think I understand now why I'm honest to Stars nervous every time I interact with online communities like the animation meme one, the furry one, etc.

It's for the exact reason why I'm terrified of talking to former classmates who entered nursing school.

A huge majority of the vocal minority never left behind their grade school bully mentality. I'm not kidding, throwing insults, or even calling anyone childish. This is as big of a problem as it is in nursing, and it takes lives in the exact same way. I'll explain.

Having had family who were in the medical field, I have heard utter horror stories about one side of nursing. Not even in a medical malpractice sense. But how some of them can have the sweetest, "empath" mask on when they are around you, but will smear your name behind your back at the very least, try to get you disciplined/fired (especially if you're a "rival" nurse/student) at unfortunately common worst.

Now, because I am a firm believer in nuance, I have to state that for as many malpracticing nurses there are, there are just as many nurses who put their patients before their ego always. I myself have had several nurse family members who didn't have even the slightest infraction to their records, and retired late despite how their patients AND fellow MPs yearned for them to stay.

But, it has to be said: It only takes one to kill. One word, one intentional slip-up, one accidental pill too many. The side of the accuser only need speak, while the side of the victim has to frantically fight for their right to the role- to the life- they worked so hard for.

Why? Well, because it's easier to destroy the perceived enemy than it is to build your own self up. Destroying the competition has been a tale as old as time, and it can ALWAYS be for the pettiest of reasons.

If you want more of your supervisor's attention for better odds at better pay, intimidate and belittle nurses of your standing or lower so they're demotivated, demoralized, and struggling in comparison.

Hell, if you just don't like another nurse, watch their every move, and rat on the few, harmless, honest mistakes they made!

Who cares how many patients die, either because of a growing lack of nurses, or because of straight up nurse-on-nurse sabotage!

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Do you see how people can put the grandstanding of their own ego above entire LIVES?

The near-homeless artist whose callout you are mindlessly reblogging, what of their life?

The kinky trans woman?

The genderqueer person with neopronouns and "conflicting" labels?

The literal teenager who doesn't- and CANNOT- know better because of their horrifically bigoted family? Not without external guidance, of which they can only have through the online, and are immediately shunned from?

You all want an easy answer.

There are none here.

There never will be.

The only answer is to practice media literacy, to wait until both sides have come out with their sides of the story, and to understand a very rarely spoken of Golden Rule:

If it isn't hurting anyone nor contributing to harm period, mind your own business.

Otherwise, if still hard pressed:

What do YOU get out of ending the life of someone as they know it?

If it's the same sense of satisfaction a cop would get, I don't know what to tell you.

All I know is that you cannot, AND SHOULD NOT, be doing their "job" for them.

And if you do, wipe that ACAB off of your bio.

We do not use the weapons of the oppressor on our own. ESPECIALLY on our youth.

[headspace-hotel]

Going through the bills proposed in the kentucky 2024 legislative session and some of the things being proposed are

make a PFAS Working Group

require homeless shelters to provide free menstrual products (it's actually disturbing that they didn't already)

require schools to provide free menstrual products

create harm reduction centers and lower penalties for possessing controlled substances

require insurance to pay for cancer screenings (okay. low bar but okay)

abolish the death penalty (actually has a couple republican sponsors)

decriminalize cannabis

make fluoridation of water in districts optional (?????)

make coal the "state rock" of Kentucky

Prohibit children from being interrogated in a "deceptive manner" (?)

Make weight discrimination illegal

pay schools to food grown at kentucky farms to provide for school meals at low income schools (hey that's rad)

Lower the age of carrying a concealed deadly weapon from 21 to 18 (?????????????)

Require companies to give their employees earned paid sick leave

Impose restrictions on the collection of biometric data by private entities

Allow poultry to be sold at farmers' markets and at farms

pay for cancer screenings for firefighters

let pregnant incarcerated people have midwives or doula services

require that public high school curriculum include instruction on the history of racism

Remove Robert E. Lee Day, Confederate Memorial Day, and Jefferson Davis Day from the list of public holidays (WE HAVE THOSE?!!?!?!)

Retroactively expunge some cannabis convictions

"Prohibit public school districts from expanding any resources or funds on diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging or political or social activism; prohibit public school districts from engaging in diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging" (HUH?????)

require schools to give kids a lunch period of at least 30 minutes (the bar is in hell)

provide scholarships for teachers to help the teacher shortage and give teachers compensation for planning time

require schools to have defibrillators

make it so a homeless person doesn't have to pay to get a copy of their birth certificate

require a working smoke detector to be present in any house sold (...did we not already have this?)

create the Kentucky Urban Farming Youth Initiative

Require local governments to lower minimum square footage requirements for housing, and facilitate multifamily housing, manufactured housing, and "tiny homes," and require that zoning laws have a "substantial connection to protection of public safety, health, and usage of property" (This could be a good thing??)

require hiring and licensing authorities to allow people convicted of a crime an opportunity to get a job

Propose a new section of the Kentucky Constitution that guarantees the right of an individual to buy, sell, or use a certain amount of cannabis and to grow a small amount of cannabis plants, and put this on the ballot (LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE please this would be so funny)

Now let's watch how many of the good and basic common sense laws get left to die by Republicans because Republicans are ghouls

this is why it's important to vote in local elections, this is the kind of stuff that's being decided upon

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Yandere coworker (part 8)

Tw: noncon touching, noncon kissing, afab reader anatomy, violence, toxic family dynamics

Masterlists, part 1, part 9

Thanks for the asks about cyprus guys, it do be helping me to unclog that authors block for this stimky

Especially the ones who wanted to know more about him, got the idea from themm

"...She's sick and she has a cert' to prove it. I'll ask her to send an email after this call."

You were awoken by Cyprus's voice early morning. Softly grumbling under your breath, you pushed yourself up and rubbed your eyes. Realizing that you were lying on top of his bare chest the entire night. A calloused hand holds you in place by the ass, while the other held onto his phone that is being pressed against his ear.

"Me? I told you. I'm not coming in today. An emergency came up." The annoyance on his face evaporated away as soon as he saw that you were awake. You grunted in displeasure as he pressed an audible kiss on your very sleepy form.

You tried focusing on his banter with Jane. But everything was gibberish to you as you struggled to keep your eyes open. Cyprus gently pushed you back down onto his broad chest as he saw you swaying side to side, obviously not at all fit to go to work.

You pressed your cheek against him and closed your eyes, letting your consciousness slowly drift away again.

"You figure it out, you're the manager." He barked before hanging up on her. Cyprus stretched his arm to open the drawer of his nightstand, dropping his phone next to yours inside it.

The brunette turned his attention to you. He groped your buttocks, it made you stir a little, but it looked like you were too tuckered out to care.

"Hey."

You replied with a weak hum.

"I want to smoke."

You let out a grunt of annoyance. Struggling to push yourself off him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Cyprus pressed you closer to him.

You said that you're trying to get out of the way so he could do his thing.

He huffed. "You're supposed to stop me."

You said that he is an adult. You have no right to tell him what to do or stop whatever urges he may have. You told him that you wished he would extend the same courtesy to you.

"Oh yeah? Well, I have the urge to fuck you stupid right now." This woke you up immediately, making you push him away and creating as much distance as possible. You would have run away if it wasn't for him caging you against the bed.

You began whining and whimpering, about to break into a loud scream, until,

"Relax. I'm not doing that today." His voice took on a condescending tone. However, his fingers are still digging into your soft flesh, keeping you in place under him.

"Help me fight the urge to smoke." He ordered. "I won't let you go until you do something about it."

You frowned, forcing your brain to think early this morning.

You asked when and why he started smoking. His eyes darted to the side as he actively recalled the first time he did it.

"I started when I was twelve." He rolled to your side, but his arm still kept you in place. "My sister tried her best to keep me away from it, but I was a little shit. I stole a pack from her handbag and the rest was history."

You asked what kept him going. He shrugged.

"I looked... cool. And it calms me down, I had to work after school, to pull my own weight around the house. Juice boxes and candies weren't enough to soothe my nerves after a long night of dealing with fucking morons." Cyprus absentmindedly played with your hair as he reminisced about his youth.

You asked him what work he could have possibly done as a 12-year-old.

"You know, like. Shady ones. I would sell random shit on the streets, become a delivery boy for some local gangs, weirdos paid me to leave dead animals on doorsteps of specific people..." He trailed off.

You asked what he used the money on.

"Well, firstly, to keep the lights on. Secondly, on more cigarettes."

You asked how come the money from his mother and sister wasn't enough, that a young boy like him had to be robbed of his childhood to work. To that, he scowled, but not necessarily at you for asking such a question, but it was more like he wasn't fond of the memory.

"Looking expensive was apparently more important than her kids getting three meals a day." You waited for him to elaborate on that.

"We had a coffee machine when we couldn't even afford the right coffee. She had to outshine her so-called friends at church, wearing a new dress every week in her favorite color; gold. While we had to go insane and sleepless trying to put food on the table." He spat, feeling resentment for his mother for prioritizing her image.

"My sister was just like me, she had to juggle her studies while raising me and my mom." He mindlessly touched the back of his shoulder again. You wonder if his sister did something to him on that body part of his.

You asked if he still resents his mother for being materialistic.

He sighed. "...A little."

You asked him if she still is like this.

"Not anymore. It took me running away for a few days to sober her up. She was still shit at managing her money- my sister had to handle that on her own, but at least she knows she was a massive idiot back then."

You asked him how old he was when he ran away.

"Fifteen." A guilty look crossed his face. "My sister freaked the fuck out. It wasn't pretty when I finally decided to show my face again." You eyed the hand that touched the same spot as before.

You asked him if she hit him before.

"More times than I can count. She uses anything and everything, but it's mostly her cha- Slippers." He laughed.

You asked if she usually hit him on the spot that he kept rubbing whenever she was mentioned.

"Oh... no." He turned around to show you what he was touching. It's a long, large raised scar with mild discoloration, but it's clearly healed a while ago. You thought he had that while fighting. "She fucking stabbed me with a kitchen knife. Only once. But it hurt like a bitch, especially when she screamed that I was her biggest burden."

You offered him words of sympathy this time. He snorted.

"She didn't mean it. Because I heard her yell the same thing when she stabbed my mom in the hand. Plus, I was only 8, it wasn't my fault everything was the way it was."

You asked him if he gets to stab her as revenge. He chuckled at your question.

"Nope. My mom did, though. I stole her money and told her boyfriends that she has some sort of contagious disease instead." He pursed his lips and stroked his chin as he thought about the past deeply. "Yeah, I held a grudge against her for a while. I kept stealing her shit and laughed in her face whenever she breaks down. I have taken dodging and blocking seriously ever since I got stabbed."

You asked when you stopped being an asshole to his sister.

"About... fourteen. When I realized that my sister was more of a parent than my mom would ever be. It was awkward as hell, trying to make up for being this devil who's been sabotaging her for years."

You asked if he ran away out of guilt. He looked at you confused.

"Why would I..." He paused and thought about it for a while.

You continued, explaining that maybe he didn't want to be a burden to his sister anymore, so he thought running away was the solution?

"I ran away because I was sick of my mom leeching off me. She was the burden."

You asked if he thought about his sister when he took off.

"Yeah, I thought about how she's going to be fine without me. But I was mostly thinking about how I'm finally free from my mom siphoning my hard earned cash into her wallet."

You asked Cyprus what made him come back. He was chewing on his bottom lip throughout this conversation, possibly to try and suppress the urge to get up and smoke.

"My sister managed to find me one day and tore me a new one. She set my ass straight and put me back into school, kept an eye on me until I turned 18. Then, she told me that I'm free to fuck off and do whatever."

You asked him what he did.

"Finished university. I had some financial backing from my mom and my sister, but I still had to work like a dog to pay off my tuition fees. Thanks to them, I'm here today. Playing with my girl's cute and squishy ass."

You realized that he was fondling your rear during the entirety of this conversation. It made you slap his hand away.

He snickered when you angrily hit him on the chest.

"Oh come on, you liked it." Cyprus brought his face close to yours, to which you pushed him away with your palms.

You said that you did something about his urge to smoke. You asked if he would let you go now.

"Nope."

Exasperated, you let out a whine. Asking what more does he want.

Cyprus puckered his lips dramatically, even to a comical extent and made loud kissy noises. His thumb brushed your bottom lip, silently telling you that he isn't content just giving you kisses on the cheeks or forehead.

You told him that you're not interested in doing such things with him. But he cuts you off mid sentence by shoving his lips against yours.

You struggled, having Cyprus's unusually long tongue muffle your screams. But it only took a couple of seconds for you to calm down and grow limp in astonishment.

He is a... really, really good kisser. You grew more and more embarrassed each second you lingered, pathetically fighting back but clearly enjoying the dance of tongues. You liked the warmth, the erotic sounds he makes without the help of his vocal chords, the slickness and his rhythm. It's oddly satisfying and enjoyable.

He smelled of his body wash, a strong, earthy masculine odor mixed with a hint of cigarette smoke.

You couldn't tell what he tasted like except for the fact that he tasted nice.

You were too distracted by his skills to notice that his hands slipped under your oversized shirt that once belonged to your boyfriend. He's kneading your breasts and buttocks, perhaps adding to the pleasure train that you're experiencing.

However, despite not being a smoker, your lung capacity is much more inferior than Cyprus's. You panicked, repeatedly whacking him on the back as you tried to get him off you so you wouldn't pass out from oxygen deprivation.

He slowly pulled away from you, retreating his lewd hands along with him, admiring the string of saliva connecting your lips to his full ones. You're the only one panting in the room, Cyprus was calm and collected, yet you're there greedily gasping for air with your chest rapidly rising up and down.

"Thanks for the meal, princess. Next time, I'd like to know how it tastes down..." He brushed his fingertips against your clothed clit teasingly, making you jerk your hips away and squeeze your thighs together to process the sudden exciting stimulation. "...here. I bet it'll taste fucking delicious." Purred Cyprus with a pair of grey, bedroom eyes.

He laughed as you shied away from him. "You're funny" Cyprus cooed, tickling your sides until you audibly cackled.

He sat on the edge of the bed, yawning and stretching. He puts on his glasses as he rises from his seat, stretching his back muscles and arms even more.

"Oh and, thank you, doll." He looked back at you.

You asked what for.

"i don't feel like smoking anymore." He bent down to give you an appreciative kiss on the temple. "For now, at least." Cyprus continued.

"Come out in ten minutes." He said, walking out of the bedroom door and into the kitchen. You hear him start to gather the cooking vessels, utensils and ingredients needed for breakfast.

[poppyfamily]

hello no one asked but i brainrotted a bit over a charashamangela church choir/youth group au bc of That games video. thoughts under cut.

tw: minor religious trauma lol

Chanse and Angela growing up in the church. Each of their parents pushing them to be more active in the church through children's choir. Chanse probably starts earlier, maybe like a month before Angela. Chanse is the type of kid who their choir director had to be told to stop riffing because the purpose of a choir is to sound the same, Chanse. But Angela takes to him immediately and they become best friends.

They are eventually invited to join the church's youth ministry and they get so into it, probably dancing to One Way Jesus very enthusiastically. It's a staple for them to play Joseph and Mary during Christmas plays and are like super chill when facilitating prayer sessions. (They understand that people aren't necessarily there for Jesus or w/e but believe that the spirit of the ministry is to find Christ in one another or some shit).

They stay for a couple of years and manage to drag in Arasha, who goes to the same school as them. She's not Christian and is just there because she was sick of inviting them to do shit on Saturday nights only for them to say no and also for the vibes and free food.

Amanda comes in a little later and is forced by her mom to actually join because she was frequently getting into trouble so she'd rather just know that her daughter is praising the lord (or whatever the fuck goes down in youth ministry) on Saturday nights instead of swimming in people's pools or some shit idk. Becomes besties with Chanse, Arasha, Angela.

Making this about Amangela bc I can't help the way I am: Angela welcoming Amanda to the ministry because it's her job as one of its leaders and Amanda is obsessed with her immediately. Probably constantly inviting her to sit right next to her for Sunday service, surreptitiously holding hands during the Lord's Prayer, going out for ice cream together once Amanda gets her driver's license. Something something horny something something repressed, they end up regularly making out (and more?) in Amanda's car without really talking about the implications but they know they feel SOMETHING. Lots of Catholic guilt - but not being able to stop because it feels nice, because it feels right.

And because I like angst - Something something tension because Amanda starts being deprogrammed from Church rhetoric at some point. She still sees Angela doing the thing to appease all the old church ladies and pastors who give her a sense of self because it's really all she knows and are willing to offer her a scholarship for college so there is Even More Pressure.

But Amanda sees all this and sees just how much she's hiding who she is, feeling like she can't really call her out on it because they are Not. Together. Amanda also sees how this is hurting Angela, but Angela is just so young and so confused and just wants to do right by her family, by God, etc... Amanda starts feeling pain and resentment about it.

In my mind, the older active church members think Angela and Chanse are gonna end up together, get married and all that shit. Chanse and Angela never saw each other that way.

Chanse quits out of nowhere and people speak of him like they're speaking the devil's name, basically erasing all history of his contributions (because he's gay.) Amanda soon quits after, and basically stops speaking to Angela. Amanda and Chanse run into each other months later, make comments about not seeing each other in church anymore, and then they reconnect and become besties.

Arasha doesn't quit, she just stops attending because she becomes busy with college. It's just not the same because Chanse and Amanda aren't there. She doesn't really have an obligation to do so, but she still keeps in touch with Angela.

Arasha and Angela become roommates in college. And because this is the first time Angela experiences independence, she goes on a SIN rampage - secular (lmao) theater, drinking, drugs, sex (lmao). All the things the church loves to police. And she has an identity crisis about it, crying to Arasha about it even.

Arasha, not knowing where the fuck all this Christian guilt is coming from calls Amanda and Chanse for backup and it's the first time they all see each other in a while. They all commiserate in the dorm room and bond and it's beautiful.

Angela wakes up. Amanda, Chanse and Arasha remind her that she's worthy of love no matter what. Once Angela finally internalizes that, she unpacks all the ways she hurt herself and how she's hurt others. Angela and Amanda finally talk about the shit that went down between them. They apologize for hurting each other, and decide to try again with a better understanding of themselves.

And they all live happily ever after. The end.

[covenofthearticulate]

...........thinking about how Louis forced himself to sit and stare at his brother's corpse until his vision went blurry but then during one of his final arguments with Claudia she tells him: "Don’t you look away from me! I am sick at heart with your looking away." like damn Anne Rice finds new ways to fuck me up with dramatic parallels every single night because the thing about Paul was that even though Louis felt in some way responsible for his death, Paul died young and Louis intentionally framed it as this youthful martyr who was taken too soon so there's something Pure and Simple to the tragedy whereas with Claudia, Louis is so fucking sick at the idea that he might have actively played a part in the slow corruption of this woman he still perceives as a young child, like by the time they have some of their final arguments in Paris there is so much resentment between them. at this point Louis has pretty much made up his mind that he's going to go be with Armand and idk there's just something so fucking tragic about Louis being so unwilling to even look at his own daughter and face the very real consequences of his actions

[ceo-of-sloppy-men]

I am sick and tired of America controlling the internet and putting other people in other countries on edge

if you haven’t heard about KOSA, google it, I beg you. Because it is targeted at Tumblr. Specifically.

As a Canadian writer, it is terrifying to even have to entertain the idea that my space may be taken away from me because some fuck ass transphobic shit heads want to control everyone else. It’s even more terrifying as a queer content creator. We aren’t hurting anyone, but going after fandom spaces under the guise of protecting children is.

Where is this same fire for R34 sites which could be actively harmful to your kids? I for one was a child with unrestricted internet access and was severely fucked up by r34 sites (and Twitter). I have seen shit I cannot unsee, no matter how hard I want to. Tumblr, Ao3 and wattpad were actually beneficial to me because they taught me how to healthily express my creativity and nursed my writing & art skills. They (the makers of the bill) don’t want that. They don’t give a flying fuck about kids and their internet safety - if they did they would have much different approaches. What they actually want is to go after queer spaces so they can control everyone. Because if they control what is online, everyone can fall into the alt right pipelines with no other option or voices to listen to. They can silence us all. They want to silence us all. They want queer youth and adults alike so they feel alone and wrong, and curl up in on themselves until we go underground again.

This needs to be talked about. Especially now, because they are doing it while all the focus is on the writers strike and the anti trans bills, so they can slip this one under the radar until it’s too late.

I’m Canadian so I know little in the way of how to stop your American bill process. So do your own research and fight back! Contact your local representative, share information, for once in your life scream from the damned roof tops.

If shit does get shut down here, I will move this blog to Pillowfort and definitely find some other places to post fanfic. If ao3 fully goes down, I will repost some of my fics, such as White Lies. I refuse to be silenced because some pasty ass republicans want me to open wide for their shrivelled penis all thanks to a body I had no control over selecting.

[overwatchfics]

can you do Shimadas taking care of their sick s/o? 🥺

A/N: Reformatted this so it fit your request lmao sorry this is late, but hope you're feeling better homie!

Hanzo

He feels like such a mother hen, he takes care of you like no other

I headcannon that Hanzo brews a mad cup of tea, he'll put every ounce of effort in brewing the best cup for you

He won't get too close to you at first, but if you're ABSOLUTELY miserable he'll hold your hand and rub soothing patterns into your back and arms

He'll begrudgingly do his goofy fisherman's dance if you really need something to cheer you up

Or he'll tell you the good memories of his childhood growing up in Shimada castle, of how he'd seen Genji sneaking treats to Kiriko in their youth.

Ok enough, he doesn't care if he gets sick anymore, Hanzo doesn't like seeing you in any discomfort, so he'll get under the blankets with you and hold you.

He'll prepare some hot soup with crackers on the side.

If you have long hair he'll loosely braid it and card his fingers through it.

Headache? He'll lightly massage your scalp to get you to relax.

Even if you look like shit he'll still call you beautiful

I feel like he has a fondness for novellas or TV dramas and he'll quietly murmur under his breath Oh no she did not

He'll put these dramas on tv for you two to watch and honestly watching Hanzo's reaction is more entertaining than the show itself

He'll grab a cool wash clothes and wipe the sweat from your face and keep you clean.

If you have to go to the doctors, he'll hold your hand through the process

Both Shimadas have a massive fear of the doctor's office and you can't convince me otherwise

Genji

He can't catch any illnesses so cuddles?

Having a cyborg ninja boyfriend comes with its perks and one of them being he can control his body temperature.

Hot fever? That's alright he's got his cooling system on

Too cold? And blankets make you sweat too much. Butt warming technology activated (Like in those leather seats in cars)

Aside from this he panics if you have a nasty illness and he goes to Angela on how to best take care of you

Since its winter he'll get you involved in some silly arts and crafts, and you can bet he makes you a cut out of paper snowflakes

Can't really cook, so he'll order some take out (Mostly soup)

Genji has tried to cook a few times (the few times he has, it was so bad even Moira said it was unethical)

I feel Genji would also have a small gaming set up and he'd play a single player game with story so you could enjoy the story with him

I'm getting carried away with random Genji hcs lemme get back on track

He would buy you two matching fuzzy pajamas and socks so you could suffer in comfort with him looking a little goofy in his pjs

Not the best brewer but he can make a decent cup just for you

As much as he hated cough medicine himself, he'll make sure you'll take it

GENJI WOULD BE THE TYPE TO GO "Here comes the airplane prrrrrrrrrrrrrb!" and poke at your lips with the spoon until you relent

Kiriko

Kiriko would just pocket you. End of story.

Lmao no I wouldn't do that to you

Her Ofuda is primarily used to heal fresh wounds and usually trauma injuries (Bullets wounds, tears, slices, bruising, etc) not illnesses

When you fall ill, she could care less about getting sick since the fox spirit kinda protects her from trivial stuff like that.

Kiriko cuddles are on the table, she'll curl up with you on the couch and if you'd like she'll give you shoulder rubs (Spoiler: They're fucking amazing)

She would take you to the bathroom and wash and dry your hair while softly humming or singing a light tune

she'd blow dry the hair and massage the scalp to release any pent up stress and the vapor from the hot water would help the illness

Kiriko asks her mom for some soup recipes. A good ol family recipe is good for the soul

She totally has an apron that says "Kiss the Kamori"

She tries to heal with the ofuda to help ease any aching or pain you're in

She hates seeing you so miserable and does what she can to put a smile on your face

Even if that means telling embarrassing stories of Hanzo and Genji that they'd rather you not know about

Or blowing raspberries lmfao she doesn't care if you're sick, she's blowing them on your neck or stomach regardless. It really just ends up into cuddling

Once she quiets down, she'll just pull you into her arms and ask if you're alright.

[delirious-donna]

Series Masterlist

chapter 6: Kiss

pairing: Kakashi Hatake x female reader

warnings: angst, PTSD, anxiety, night terrors, Obito is very broken, fluff, overthinking reader, mentions of alcohol, Kakashi being a consent king at heart, SFW (for now…)

wc: 2.5k

synopsis: Kakashi Hatake, newly appointed Hokage, is struggling with transitioning from active duty to being sat behind a desk. Sure, he might not be placing his life on the line every day but perhaps now is the time he puts something else out there instead, his heart.

Meanwhile, things aren’t quite adding up. There is a discrepancy in the records that cannot be explained, and it falls to you to investigate. Never did you expect it would lead you to the door of the Hokage’s office, a man you had admired from a safe distance until now. What happens next leads you into a closely guarded secret that will change the rest of your life.

In a story where the past might be harder to let go of than usual, can two strangers find a semblance of happiness and peace?

beta reader: a huge thanks to @angelic-muse for being an amazing beta and friend! <3

Too late. He was always too late.

What had been a source of almost playful defiance in his youth had turned into some of his greatest regrets in life. Why couldn’t he get there in time? Why did he have to watch whilst those he loved were cut down because he couldn’t reach them quickly enough? Was it fair that he finally realised he was being used by those far more evil and manipulative than he only when he was knocking on death’s door?

Regret and confusion muddied together, painting a kaleidoscope of negative emotions into a hellscape designed for his personal torment. Looking down, his hands were stained in a blood so dark it was almost black. It crusted around his fingertips and stained the sickly white pallor of the skin beneath.

It was Rin’s blood.

He knew it with certainty. Her body wasn’t here, nothing was except him and the howling wind that wrapped around his body. The cold struck him, spreading out from the centre of his chest and filling every corner it could reach. It was a poison, a sickness.

Flashes of memories obscured his vision like fireworks. Blinded by brilliant white lights that stung more than his eyes, and then he was drowning. His chest was tight–a metaphorical band of steel encased his ribcage, squeezing with any attempted inhale. Obito clawed at his throat with his sullied hand, painting the column of his throat in a liquid far more akin to inky black oil than crimson blood.

Panic gripped his heart. Yells, screams and the death rattle of his victims filled his ears. He was drowning yet there was no water. He was blood-spattered yet there was no body. It ended as suddenly as it had begun.

He could breathe, and he did, inhaling great pulls of air into his starved lungs. Obito coughed, again and again. Tears blurred his vision, streaking down his cheeks and dripping fat drops from the tip of his chin. He shut out what he could, closed his eyes to the marks covering his hands, and he felt it, a hand beneath his elbow. It was warm where everything else had been frigidly cold. Small and delicate fingers touched him without shuddering in repulsion.

“He’s moving on… why can’t you, Obito?”

It hurt. Fuck, it hurt. Obito blinked, awakening not to the hellscape he had been trapped in, but to a different type of prison. One he had willingly locked himself into. His bedroom was threadbare, but he liked it that way. Comforts were for those that deserved them, and he didn’t. He had refused every offer of a comfortable bed over the years, deciding it unnecessary. As long as he had a place to curl up and fall asleep, that was all that mattered and honestly, he had slept in worse conditions.

Carefully, he raised his arms and inspected his hands. There was no blood to be found, only the white skin of a man who had betrayed everyone in the pursuit of something futile. Did he have to be reminded of his mistakes every moment, not even safe in slumber?

Obito had long since learned that crying was a part of his penance. He was accustomed to the sensation of his throat feeling tight and rubbed raw from the thick emotions that did their best to choke him. He sat up on his thin futon, drawing his knees to his chest and resting his cheek on top.

Rin…

She had come to him, and not for the first time. The message was different, and he knew it was likely born of what was currently transpiring down in Konoha between Kakashi and this woman who was digging into the strange case of a man who had seemingly died twice.

It was barely 10pm he realised, glancing at the clock on the wall. Was something wrong? He didn’t know for sure, but he would hazard a guess that whatever ridiculous sentiment bonded him to his old friend was awakened because something was indeed happening–whether it be good or bad.

“He’s moving on…” Obito nodded. Kakashi, the man who had been closely guarded with his feelings and his heart since he was a child was letting someone inside his barriers. It still sounded like a joke.

He couldn’t decide if he was happy for him or jealous. The latter would be typical of him, but of which part? That Kakashi could move on with his life or that someone had been good enough in his eyes for him to even try? What woman could possibly turn the head of the legendary copycat ninja?

Sure, it was no secret that the man in question was a romantic at heart, perhaps with a touch of perversion given his reading material over the years, but it had never translated into reality, and Obito would know. For years he had watched from afar, hidden in his various guises and wondered why Kakashi continued to resist temptation. He found out the reason not until they reunited and buried old grudges.

Kakashi couldn’t bear losing someone close to him… again.

He chewed absently on his fingernails, lost in a maelstrom of the past and present. Obito was a part of the reason that Kakashi had closed himself off, he hadn’t been the ignition, but he still held a starring role. He shouldn’t be jealous, but jealousy was not rational. It didn’t listen to logic or abide by the rules of reason.

“... why can’t you, Obito?”

The hand of friendship had been extended so many times when he didn’t understand why he was being given the opportunity, and now, he had a shot at a second chance. Why couldn’t he take it?

So many questions and he didn’t have the answer to any, or any that he would admit to. Deep down in his withered heart, there was the small boy he had once been. The boy who longed for meaningful connections and love. The boy who had dreamed that he would be Hokage one day but had fallen for the trickery of the wicked and became the furthest possible iteration of what it meant to be worthy of the title of Hokage.

Redemption. It was offered like the leafy stem of an olive branch. If only he would reach out and take it, wrap his fingers around it carefully and allow himself the chance at a moment of peace. Wouldn’t it be nice to not be endlessly pursued by his demons? Obito sobbed quietly, the sound carrying only because the night around him stood still and silent as if it was watching—waiting—for what might happen. He was in a bubble of his own despair. A prison that was locked tight, but he alone held the key.

Like Kakashi, he could choose to overcome his fears and look to a future that wasn’t purely miserable. The fear of the unknown was daunting, and he knew that not everyone would be swayed by the words of their Hokage but he could understand that. Truly, it was not the unknown that scared him the most, it was the fear of being accepted. To be accepted despite everything he had done. All the pain and suffering he had inflicted on others. The people he had killed in his pursuit to achieve the impossible, the loved ones sent to their graves before their time. How could anyone look him in the eye and shake his hand after that?

He was broken.

So why did he hope that Kakashi wouldn’t give up on trying to fix him? Obito lay his head against his thin pillow and sent a silent prayer that he didn’t believe would be heard. He prayed that his friend had more strength than he, that whatever was happening with this woman would not leave him as bitter as Obito was. He deserved happiness.

~

You were scared. He could see the emotion swirling in the dark hues of your eyes, it mingled with the desire that was also present but the fear was threatening to overwhelm the other. Kakashi wouldn’t take what wasn’t willingly given. He wouldn’t push, but he would question it.

“What are you thinking about?”

His voice was barely a husky whisper, warm breath fanning your face and you licked across your lips whilst your eyes rose from his mouth to his eyes. So many things. You were drowning in thoughts, and honestly, you could use a moment of silence to gather your wits. For once, you spoke without running the words through your internal monitor.

“I’m thinking that I want to kiss you and that you want to kiss me, but–”

To be damned with whatever the but was going to be, you were correct, he did want to kiss you and he was going to.

Kakashi’s thumb caught beneath your chin to tip your face up and before you could blink, he kissed you. His lips were cool–pleasantly so–and so damn soft that it almost didn’t seem fair. Your arms wound around his neck exactly as you had desired only moments before, fingers tangling in the silky silver strands at his nape. His body was warm around yours, his hands respectfully at your waist whilst he offered another taste of his lips and you accepted greedily.

Never had you shared a kiss quite like this. Your brain could not process every sensation and emotion that was lighting up your insides like fireworks. How could you ever hope to express exactly what you felt at this moment? This was the Kakashi Hatake, and you were kissing him. Your lips cushioned his. Your fingers played with his hair and scratched lightly at his neck. Your body that he gently tugged ever closer to his own.

He wanted you.

Kakashi was tender and patient, leading you through a slow dance of kisses that seemed to never end, but the need for air would soon spoil that illusion.

You broke away reluctantly, blinking rapidly and hoping that the world would stop spinning so you could orientate yourself. His expression was pure amusement, lips twitching whilst you uncoiled your arms from their perch and pressed your fingertips to your lips. You savoured the gentle numb sensation of your lips, how they had filled with blood so easily and the lingering taste he had left behind.

“I... oh. We shouldn’t have done that,” you murmured, sounding as breathless as you felt.

“Mm, and why is that?”

“You’re my boss. You’re the fucking Hokage! Shit. I am in so much trouble. Can you just fire me now and get it over with?”

Kakashi chuckled, and dammit if you didn’t want to smack him in the shoulder. Didn’t he get it? This was… the best moment of your life. The thought was inside your head before you could squash it. Burning you alive with its presence.

“I have to go. I’m sorry… you’re so handsome. Shit–I mean, forget it,” you rambled, flushing from head to toe.

Twice in as many minutes you had cursed, and it sounded so perfectly ridiculous from your lips that he couldn’t not smile wider. It was at the moment he lifted his hand to his face to stifle the laughter in his throat that you tried to make a run for it. Kakashi watched whilst your eyes darted to the doorway that led back to the front door, and no sooner than the time it took him to blink, you were moving. Damn, you were fast. But he was much faster, naturally.

Not for the first time, his fingers wrapped around your wrist, but this time he used a touch more force to bring you back to him. Your back collided into his chest with a soft thump, before you turned back to face him. Your eyes darted left and right, anywhere that wasn’t looking directly into his and he couldn’t have that.

“Breathe,” he directed calmly, dropping your wrist and bringing his hand up to your cheek. His fingertips were gentle on your skin, the ghost of a caress that made his eyes darken, and your breathing spike despite his best intentions.

“I am not going to fire you. I wish…” he paused, leaning in to press a tender kiss to your forehead. “I wish you were not assigned with the task you’re working on, but actually, I think everything might work out better this way.”

Your nose scrunched in confusion, Kakashi was talking in riddles. His expression was a mask you couldn’t decipher. For as much as you longed to remain in his gentle hold, you knew that it was more crucial for you to reset your brain and that meant leaving.

You exhaled softly. “Kakashi, I’m not going to even try to understand what you mean right now. I’m too…” You wanted to admit you were falling for him, hard and far too fast, but you conceded in a small half truth for now. “... tipsy to think straight.”

His features sombred with a dip of his chin. The sudden, irrational desire to reach out and boop the little mole near his mouth was overwhelming. Your fingers twitched but you controlled the insane urge by biting the inside of your cheek.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you when you’ve been drinking, I apologise.”

Shit–no! That’s not what you had meant. Oh god, now he was regretting everything and you could feel the ground splitting beneath your feet.

“Wait, no. I swear I didn’t just kiss you because of the alcohol. You’re… well, look at you. I like you, Kakashi. Oh dear.” You really had to go before you said something else you’d regret later.

“If you put it that way…” Kakashi smirked, and you were grateful for it even if it was at your expense. “Can you be in my office at 11am tomorrow? I’ve taken up a lot of your time already and you’ve gotten nothing in return, it’s time I rectify that.”

Oh, you’d gotten plenty alright but you weren’t admitting it. Nodding enthusiastically, you moved towards the door and slipped into your shoes. “Would you like me to walk you home?” He asked, and when you glanced around his mask was back in place covering the lower half of his face. It made you pout but you understood.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t live far and I think I could use the peace, if that’s alright?”

With a final lingering exchange of looks, you bowed your head and stepped into the cool night. Away from Kakashi’s home and away from the bubble of happiness you had enjoyed for the past few hours.

You hadn’t lied, you did need solace from how maddeningly astute he was, but you missed him almost immediately and that was simply insane. It wouldn’t be for the final time this night did your fingers stray back to your lips in memory of the kiss you had shared. What any of this meant… you weren’t sure, but you needed a plan of action and thankfully, that was something you were good at.

It was time to play him at his own game and find out exactly what he wasn’t telling you.

Little did you know that your short trip home was not made alone. Two ninken trailed you discreetly, keeping to the shadows at their master’s instruction and finding your scent very appealing to their sensitive noses.

[cozza-frenzy]

So that post about how adults are allowed to interact with minors is circulating again. The one that emphasizes inter-generational friendships. That stresses the importance of having friends outside your age group. I like that post. The problem is - the attitudes that post is targeting are getting worse. And I'm sick of staying quiet. | To everyone in the system community who's ostracized us, who's kicked us out, who's continued to spread rumors about us? This one's for you. If this finally kills off the last of our online presence, I hope those of you who've hunted us to the ends of the earth burn with us. Fuck you, and fuck your ass-backwards, mutated discourse. So I imagine you're wondering what it is we did. Well - for daring to interact with minors in any capacity online? For caring about them as if they were our own children? For giving them a space where they'd be able to talk about their problems, be taken seriously, and be able to talk about things in a setting they wouldn't be judged? We've been told, repeatedly, that our actions are harmful and predatory and that adults should never, ever interact with minors for ANY reason. We've been kicked off Discord servers, cut off from our community, and labelled "predators" for daring to try and help children, because we kept running face-first into these unwritten rules that anyone else thinks are utterly insane. Our own therapist praised us, asked us if we'd like to be youth mentors someday. Nobody outside of these fucking echo chambers thinks this way. And even our ex is getting in on this; they've been telling people that we date people who are (in their words) "barely legal". A definition which they've twisted to mean a then-35-year-old dating a then-23-year-old ADULT. And people not only believe them, but they've rallied against us, accusing us of a "power imbalance" that's inherently abusive, and saying we have nothing to complain about when our ex is actively trying to ruin our life. It has been a YEAR since we broke up. We have not had any contact with them. And they have not let this GO. We're being hunted everywhere we turn, and we've had enough of keeping this a secret. We've interacted with people under 18. We've tried to make friends with them. And now people fucking hate us, we can't ever rest, and the overwhelming fear and stress of being found out is giving us panic attacks and fucking seizures. So. If you're in the system community, and you're mindlessly perpetuating this shit? If you think you can dictate who people are allowed to be friends with? Who people are allowed to date? All because you see an age gap, and you can't break that association? Because you're refusing to look at your own trauma triggers when your responses to trauma might be hurting other people? If you're one of the ones who keep putting up these unwritten rules, these barriers to entry, that systems like us are now suffering for? Fuck you. If you believe in any of this shit, unfollow us now. And if our ex is somehow reading this? You are a horrible, cowardly, conniving, abusive son of a bitch, and I can't believe we ever loved you. Never get anyone else involved in your bullshit until you've gotten some fucking help. And while you're at it, stop abusing and belittling alters within your own system like you did with every non-host alter in ours. - Terry of The Magbox

[deedala]

🌱Macy's Tag Game Twosday🌿 (x2 actually because i have some other tag games i need to catch up on and im mashing them all togther in one post) so thank you for tagging me to play one or more of these following tag games!! @celestialmickey @crossmydna @mmmichyyy @creepkinginc @lingy910y @energievie @suzy-queued @metalheadmickey @mickeysgaymom @ardent-fox @m4ndysk4nkovich @rereadanon @mikhailoisbaby @tanktopgallavich @scurvgirl 💖💖💖 name: deanna🌱

your birthday: Nov 17

where in the world are you? O Hi O 🌽

when did you join tumblr? 2011

do you have any sideblogs? yeah not very active though

mobile or desktop? both both both

your perfect sleeping conditions: 70 degrees, flannel comforter, face mask and bonnet, cozy sweatshirt and socks. Yes i sleep in fuzzy socks dont at me.

a movie you think everyone should see at least once: hmmm... The Fall (2006)

what shoes do you wear the most often? slip on sneakers

describe your keys to me: key to my house with a pink cover, key to my parents house with no cover, my car key, my husbands spare car key, a loop wrist strap made from a piece of a limited run woven baby wrap design that was dedicated to the FB babywearing group i helped found like 8 million years ago, and my red wallet attached by TWO carabiners because listen you just never know when you'll need a second carabiner. Also i have a picture of my kids in the little wallet window where you're supposed to put your ID (ig?) 😊

find the book closest to you. turn to page 7. what’s the 7th word? "was"

what’s your favorite snack? popcorn

one of your aspirations: inner peace

and finally, tell me a random fact about yourself: ive been white water rafting a few times. as a youth...i dont think i'd ever go again though lol

rest of the tag games under the cut!

next up this picrew

(i need a fucking hair cut)

Favorites Collage: (as always my favorites change based on mood and day but these are pretty common favorites!!)

animal: house finch movie: The Fall (2006) season: autumn character: today right now its Mickey color: mint hobby: vidja gams book: The Masked Empire by Patrick Weekes song: The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel drink: lemonade

and finally... this or that? ABO or Soulmates // fake dating or secret dating // fix-it or post-canon // mutual pining or friends-to-lovers // slow burn or angst // smut or romance // Reality TV au or Porn au //Enemies to lovers or Enemies to friends to lovers // Domestic Fluff or Hurt/Comfort // Coffee Shop au or College au // one-shot or multi-chapter // Crossover or canon compliant // mpreg or adoption // online romance or workplace romance // single parent au or sports au // neighbours or roommates // sci-fi au or magic au i was thinking of picking fix-it..but i think the fix-it type things i usually end up reading fall more under AU canon divergent rather than what is probably simply fix-it. also excuse me but smut IS romantic imo lolol. also also slow burn tends to be angsty so i felt like i could secretly pick both of those by picking slow burn haha.

and okay time to tag some nuggets to do any or all of these games!! 😆 Everyone up top + @harrowhark-a-vagrant @michellemisfit @too-schoolforcool @juliakayyy @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @callivich @thepupperino @transmickey @grumble-fish @gardenerian @imikhailo @jrooc @milkmaidovich @grossmickey @sleepyfacetoughguy @themarchg1rl @sickness-health-all-that-shit @babygirlmickey @sweetbee78 @xninetiestrendx @vintagelacerosette @purplemagpie @squidyyy23 @sirrudo @alihendrjx + anyone else seeing this and wanting to play a thing 😋

[celaenaeiln]

Hi, I’ve been following this account for a while now and I really enjoy your posts. I was very sad about the mischaracterisation of Dick in fanfiction a lot, so finding your posts was very exciting to me. They’re huge writing inspirations for me, especially after a long burnout and writer’s block I’ve been going through this past months. Just wanted to say it real quick.

Also not about Dick Grayson but I’ve discovered this new song called The Kid I Used to Know by Arrested Youth, and it’s been giving me Jason Todd vibes. Just wanted to get your opinion on it, if you’ve ever heard it.

I hope you have a wonderful day today :D

Thank you!

I just went and listened to it - The Kid I Used to Know - and OH MY GOD

IF THERE WAS EVER ONE SONG AND ONLY ONE SONG THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT JASON - THIS IS IT!!!

MIND BLOWN ABOUT HOW ITS PRACTICALLY WRITTEN ABOUT HIM

This. This is the creation and meaning behind Red Hood.

You told me this should be fun, thank for the talk, are we done? This is my masterpiece, a tragedy, I wrote it myself I can practically see this playing as a backtrack to Jason as he's planning his Red Hood activities, right when he makes his debut.

It's full of irony and blasphemy, it's practically hell But the perfect part about it is it's all that I've got Jason's actions and character is everything Bruce worked his life against, his story his blasphemy in the eyes of his former mentor. It's also his anger and resentment about dying and coming back to life only to find that Bruce has seemingly moved on while he's stuck reliving his worst memories. but that's not going to stop him. No, those memories are only fuel. This is who he is.

I'm over wasting time in life trying to be something I'm not His hatred over how Bruce kept trying to make him a Dick Grayson 2.0 during his robin years until he storms out.

'Cause fuck that shit Yeah I don't wanna be that kid No, I'm not gonna hang my head And be another accident And Jason will be damned if he's just going bend over and let his death be swept under the rug. Let Bruce who he really is now. He's going to tear part Gotham and he's going to raise his head and do it proud.

So long to the kid that I used to know So long to the place that I used to go I'm not an R.I.P I'm not another sick, sad tragedy He's better now, he's better than he's ever been. He's got the skills, the fire, and power to become something new. He's not going to be something they cry over in the books or mutter "what a pity." He can never go back to the manor where he and bruce ate sandwiches and how they analyzed crime but it doesn't matter anymore because Jason's not going to take orders anymore from a man dressed like a bat, he's on his own - and he will prove it. Him and Bruce? They're done.

Do you ever feel like you're underwater? Drowning inside like there's no tomorrow? It's the feeling of the lazarus flooding his lungs and the blood choking his throat as he realizes with his dying breath that he won't make out to see tomorrow.

Life gets tough but you should know That I don't plan on letting go Come hell or high water, Jason's going to make bruce pay. He's not going to a footnote in an encyclopedia. He's going to haunt Bruce, he's going to haunt Dick, he's going to haunt Tim, he's never going to let them forget.

I'm not an R.I.P I'm not another sick, sad tragedy He's back - better and badder than ever. Watch out Gotham because Jason Todd is here to prove there's no "The End" to this story.

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT/VENT:

Umm so I haven’t been too active, life’s been manageable and my grades are actually doing amazing so I now will give myself a small break. But with the fastpass and yes I will vaguely talk about it because this has to hurt more than ever for me.

I am going to let it out and just say that I absolutely hate Lore Olympus. I have no tolerance for it anymore and I deeply despise it, and before anyone tries to come at me I have every fucking right to especially after this stupid ass fast pass with Demeter. This entire comic has been the most invalidating experience I’ve ever had to witness in my life, it is an insult to my youth, an insult to my feminism, an insult to my community, an insult to my culture, my trauma, and even my identity as a whole. I’ve been really quiet about it because I’m used to people stepping all over me and completely disrespecting me but I can’t do this anymore. Nothing has made me more sick than reading all of this.

Now you may be wondering why I say all of this in the first place and I’ll tell you. I’ve been informed (MAJOR SPOILER SO PLEASE JUST SKIP THIS) that Demeter gets manipulated into having sex with Zeus and shes obviously heartbroken and feels taken advantaged of yet the whole narrative of the situation still paints her as a fucking villain. I’m going to be a little personal with this but the reason why I have such a huge issue with this is because this is the exact same thing that happened with my mother, unfortunately she was coerced and manipulated into having sex with her then boyfriend which in turn got her pregnant (with me) and made him furious, he wanted to abort me while my mother refused to do so so he started harassing my family until he finally got arrested. To see this exact same situation be played in a way that Demeter isn’t the victim and she’s just bitter and jealous when this obvious traumatic thing happened to her makes me sick to my damn stomach. This stuff happens to real people all the time Rachel you cannot just handle these things with such ignorance all the fucking time, you can’t just say your comic validates trauma when you’ve belittled one of the most fucked up shit you can do to a person.

Then to top it off the comments are no better, they’re all victim blaming and incredibly insensitive. I’ve seen people literally call Demeter a bitch in her own story about her own fucking trauma, they’ve said that it was her fault, that she should’ve known better, that she shouldn’t have trusted Zeus. All of these things have been said to my mother as well, every last phrase has been said to my mother and it’s gotten to a point where she blames herself for the situation. There’s genuinely no words to describe how incredibly angry I am, I’m so just over everything with this comic and I want people to understand how harmful things like this are. I don’t have any real words except that I’m sorry to everyone who’ve ever been through something similar, if you had to read any of those comments I’m so incredibly sorry. I’m sorry to my mother as well because the same people who have been invalidating her and blaming her for her own trauma are continuing their fucking rounds with stuff like this.

People like that genuinely make me sick. How are you going to blame anyone for trauma or traumatic situations that happened to THEM, what the hell did you not fucking learn about this??? You’ve watched Persephone going through all of this stuff and literally suffering and you’ve seen how much of an emotional toll it’s had on her yet after seeing all the struggle that it puts people through you still decide to say stupid shit like that. What makes all of this even worse is if this was Persephone or Hades no one would’ve said a thing, everyone would’ve been supported and validated her whole experience yet if it’s any other form of trauma that they don’t count as important or even relevant they’ll dismiss it and belittle it. I’m so sick of this shit, at some point Rachel is going to have to get involved she’s always proclaiming how mentally aware Lore Olympus is and she has nothing to show for it you can do something now by actually calling out your horrendous fans (obviously the ones I brought up) for their disgusting actions.

[hungerpunch]

hi I love you longest and fiercest and kind of gross, my lobot. Will you tell me a story about Pierre and Este and Charles that hurts me real good in all my gayest bits??

ginba you always say the sweetest things (✿◡‿◡)

i guess i may have something ha ha ha. please note that while i've done some research i am not an expert so if anyone has a timeline qualm, have mercy.

He's 13 when he kisses Esteban, soft and scared and burning for it.

He's been confused about his friend for months, vexed by how the innocent urge to spend all his time with Esteban seemed to go from from something boyish to something more, something worse. He's unsure when Esteban's dark gaze started pricking at his skin instead of sliding off like water. Ashamed to admit exactly when his thoughts started being consumed by a repetitive longing to touch Esteban's inky black hair, or fit his hands around the disproportionately skinny clutch of Esteban's ribs.

But it happened. It did. And it's tortured him.

And Esteban kisses him back.

Pierre just had his first kiss with a girl a few weeks back. It made him feel warm and excited, an adrenaline rush that he couldn't stop smiling about.

Kissing Esteban makes him feel sick.

please tell me, Esteban begs over text after weeks of radio silence from Pierre. did that kiss mean anything to you?

No, Pierre texts back with shaking fingers. Sorry, he sends, and watches their friendship unravel over those next few and final years. At their best, they manage a stiff cordial, an all right, a phony politeness. At their worst, they're made of actively hostile barbs and little pushes. Everything from cold shoulders and rude hand gestures in between. There are so many factors that make Charles different. Age. Pierre having a little more job security, some therapy. Not to mention that Charles feels inherently safe and sure whereas Esteban had felt like holding his skin to an open flame: dangerous and reckless. Esteban is a good boy but he's got a bastard in him. Charles is just sweet, only sweet, through and through. Even when he's being bratty, it's vanity. Not deep. It doesn't linger. Nothing about Charles, not even that first disbelieving kiss, makes Pierre feel sick.

It becomes an open secret. It's wide out in the open for witnessing, hidden in plain view between hugs and hip-grabs and pressing close to whisper. The media doesn't look close enough to see it, team principals refuse to see it, non-friends see it and don't care, and friends tease them mercilessly in private.

Pierre is 22 the first time he has to contend with Charles, Esteban, and alcohol in the same space. At least, alcohol with the intent to get fucked up, rather than the occasional glasses of wine at family dinners of their youth. Pierre is no stranger to drinking but he hasn't exactly learned his hard liquor limits yet so he's leaning heavy and kind of sloppy on the bar while he waits to catch the bartenders attention. Charles is at his left side, patient, when an elbow shoves in to Pierre's right and a stick-like body wedges in.

Pierre recognizes him by scent first because he doesn't think Esteban will ever in his life stop using the same soap and deodorant combo.

"Ah, shit," Esteban says out loud when he looks down (down!) and notices it's Pierre he's shoved in next to. "Of course," he says with disdain, black eyes shifting from Pierre to the ceiling like he can't believe his luck.

Pierre, drunk, bristles. "Ah, fuck you." Esteban's spidery eyebrows raise at the back talk. Pierre feels a hand at his waist. "Are we having a problem?" Charles' voice sounds, loud enough to get both their attentions.

Esteban stares at Charles for a beat too uncomfortable before letting one corner of his lips furl into a lazy smirk. When his gap teeth glint behind the slow parting of his lips, they might as well be fangs. "No problem, Charles, if you keep your dog on a leash."

The comment winds Pierre, a brimstone fist in his solar plexus. "I'm not a dog," he says oddly, stunned for a second. Then the anger comes.

At 22, Pierre hasn't put on the pounds of muscle his future promises just yet, which is good because it means Charles is physically capable of dragging Pierre out of the bar before he can wring Esteban's neck.

At 22, he's insulted by the idea of being Charles' dog.

By the time he's 24, he's old enough to know he likes it. Both in bed, thick band of leather around his throat, and in the paddock, arm draped over Charles' shoulder protectively, waiting for Charles to sic him on somebody.

"Good boy," Charles will say and Pierre will think I would rip someone to shreds with my teeth for you. The only thing is, is that when the chips are down for Esteban… he has the same thought. The same viciousness in him. I would rip someone to shreds with my teeth for you, too.

[cm32maker]

sick and tired of people playing the "won't somebody think of the children" card as an argument to ban NSFW. "But there are kids on Tumblr" okay, yeah, see your point, but I also see a lot of kids on literally fucking everywhere on the internet. If a child is given unsupervised access to the Internet they are GONNA find some awful shit, and quite frankly, I'd prefer they stumble into Tumblr or Newgrounds than into PornHub, Rule34, e621, etc. There is a genuine problem with availability of NSFW to children, pretty much has been since Playboy. But limiting artists' creative freedom on websites isn't going to fix that. Hell, Tumblr isn't a place for kids NOW, never has been (not to mention that with the way Tumblr works it's hard to find porn unless you are actively looking for it). Making sure kids don't have access to adult websites is necessary, I even agree with KOSA in principle (in PRINCIPLE). And y'know what would be blocked by KOSA in its current state? Tumblr! Hell, keep the youth off of socials in general, we know it fucks them up.

[ar3s-r4t-qu33n]

My (Updated) Thoughts on Rush Week (Pre Release)

Um...

So I'm not super stoked-

Firstly, the matter of it being randomised and solo Q

I don't HATE this, but I do feel as though it could have been done differently. I wasn't around for Friday 13th the Game and from what I did see of that game, I didn't rate it. I didn't like the gameplay, the characters or the IP (I've never been a Jason girlie, I'm sorry 😞). So the fact that this is a reskin of that game doesn't really excite me.

Now, I personally play a lot of Solo Q Family AND Victim already, because the person I usually play with is kinda out of commission rn and I'm too shy to ask strangers to play with me 🧍 and I have to say, I haven't really enjoyed it. Family is easy, though since I play Sissy, I don't get a lot of kills or like... Much to do? I don't blood rush because that's really fucking annoying when Family do it, I don't go down to the basement every because it's just unfair, so I just kinda run around playing defence until I either run into someone or the game ends. I used to be quite good, but idk. Recently a lot of my passion for the game has gone down, which happens, it's just a bit disappointing personally, but that's a me problem. As for Victim... It has not been fun at all. I haven't escaped much at all since I started playing Solo Q, and I know I'm not "bad" at the game. I taught my friends to play, I used to get a fair few escapes playing on my own, but recently, I'm getting nowhere and it really sucks, especially getting got by Johnny in five swings as Maria 😒

At the same time, I understand that making it a SWF experience would absolutely lead to bulky squads. Like, it already can devolve into bullshit, having six people throwing shit at Johnny? It'd be awful. At the same time... Not even duos?? Like, they could ensure they wouldn't be Johnny and a Victim, it could be easily done, I'm sure. But 2 against 1 is nowhere near as bad as 4 or 6 against 1. And then the randomisation makes sense for this mode, I guess?? Because it did for F13, but it's not really my thing. It's personal, but I also can't really see how else they'd do it, lobbies would be ridiculous.

The Sorority Girls Being Nameless

Yeah... Absolutely not.

I couldn't quite articulate my feelings on this matter, but @/rlnzlers on Twitter actually said it in a way I completely agree with:

It feels fucking tacky!!!

The Slasher Genre has always been controversial. Not for anyone with a brain (sorry 😶); those of us who are media literate and old enough to like, understand very basic concepts can see that reality and fiction are different things. You can make a movie about Michael Myers going to town on some teens, and that doesn't make you responsible for teen murder stats. Even if someone said "I wanted to be Michael Myers", that's a personal choice on them and they clearly need help and should get that help. It is not, nor will it ever be, on the creator of a piece unless they literally actively say "Go forth! Murder the youth, my children!!!!"

But regardless, it's controversial to those who don't get it. And a lot of early Slashers, the inventors of the genre, made it so the victims of these kills were people. That's the whole point, it's a tragedy of these people being killed in brutal, cool ways and then someone fighting evil and, more often than not, surviving to see the sun. Hell, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre works so well because we get to know the characters pretty well before they're killed! I thought Kirk was a sweetie, and seeing him die first sucked!! And then slowly they're whittled down until only Sally remains and she's traumatised!!! Obviously, not every Slasher goes that way. There was a good few years of "everyone sucks and then they die in a sick ass way" in Slasher movies, but most people don't like those films. They don't feel good, they don't feel like anything. Its misery and gore for misery and gore's sake.

Not to mention how close to Ted Bundy Johnny already was, this attack on the Sorority House is making him even closer to him. And so the fact that the girls are nameless, soulless and have no history?

It's gross. I'm sorry, I find it gross.

There are implications to things. Crazy, I know. But seeing the love and care that went into the original 8 Victims, only for this group of girls who exist only to be cunty cosmetics for that side of the fan base who just want hot, skinny girls to play dress up with and "be the final girl" without any of the history or meaning behind the title..? It's gross. They don't even have names! They're just bodies for Johnny to kill, and they're all women!! Like I'm sorry, I'm not exactly stoked to see a character I really find interesting and love slash his way through a bunch of women.

"but Liz, he's a cannibal serial killer"

I fucking know that, thanks, but at the same time, there is room for nuance?? Like, Johnny stalks and kills girls. Why? What reason does he have? Why is Maria special and different to him enough to keep alive? Why is he still doing this five years later? It's more than "nooo not my blorbo! He would never!" He would, but not like this. Not in such a way that feels like a real life true crime case. Because it feels like I'm watching someone put on makeup and tell me about The Sorority Slashings of 1978, not a fun game where I get to either slash or escape. It's not fun watching soulless women in a university get brutalised. It's not fun watching anyone who exists purely to die get brutalised. It makes me uncomfortable in a way that Slashers typically avoid. And it makes me especially upset because the Devs have done such a good job at making the characters so interesting and tragic and alive up until now. Ana and Maria's story is amazing! The female Victims have all been incredibly compelling to learn about and play as, I love each and every one of them and hope that Maria is able to somehow survive.

Knowing that Rush Week is just "Johnny kills six girls at school"? I doubt it. I did hold out hope that maybe in some fucked up way, the pair would actually make it work, and he'd kill Nancy, they'd run off together and either he'd stop killing for her or he'd kill in secret to get his feelings out and come home to her at the end of the day. I think it's more than clear now that Maria dies at the Slaughter House. Which really sucks, not only because she's our "Definitive Final Girl", but because I think it makes a much better story where she gets to live. But again, that's an opinion, everyone is entirely entitled to want the story to go whichever way they think it should, it's the Dev's decision in the end.

Idk. I'll give it a shot when it comes out, but they would have to release something AMAZING on that Content Pass for me to buy it for the early access. And I am excited to hear about what's happened post the main game!! We only know about Spring 1973, August 1973 and then 1986, there's so much time in between for stuff, especially with Johnny and Sissy and where they go once the Massacre in Newt is over. But I am more than disappointed that the direction the Devs have gone in is simultaneously fan-service-y towards (imo) some of the worst demographic (girlie on TikTok who want to play dress up with cunty outfits that aren't even period appropriate and are fatphobic to Julie, Maria and fucking Bubba because the worst thing you can be in the WORLD is not ozempic skinny, apparently), and does so in a way that gives us nothing but a shitty F13 reskin. We don't even have new characters, we have new blank slates to put whatever we want over. So many people have said if they wanted the fans to make their own lore, they could have incorporated a small character creation mode, but they haven't. And might I just add that we're also getting more characters of colour finally, but that they are also nameless bodies for Johnny to kill?

Idk. It's tacky and I don't like it. I'll give it a shot when it comes out for free, but I can't see it being my thing. I hope for the rest of you, you really enjoy it and I REALLY hope that Johnny gets some good fucking lore in this mode, but I'm not holding my breath, unfortunately.

And like, please tell me what y'all think!! I'm more than willing to have a conversation about this (so long as people are civil and polite ofc)!!!