#side note: it's v nice to see people who hate me comment nice things

[nanabanonana]

“is there anything else you've written? i would love to read more of your works!”

me on anon: uhhh, no

[yongislong]

clingy partner + dreamies.

genre: fluff, nonidol!dreamies with a clingy partner and vice versa... ish?

note: tysm anon! im sorry this took so long, i've been so busy TT not proofread pls... b kind </3 lol

mark... would actually melt. likes being adored in a way thats different from the usual praise and skinship he receives from the people around him. he gives you a certain ability to be able to be clingy in ways others can't if that makes sense? doesn't have a preference on when you're clingy with him, he just loves that you hang onto him constantly. always encourages you to love up on him, especially if people make backhanded comments and he sees you slowly pulling away?? he hates that sm! would honestly want his own space sometimes because he's always busy, but never ever makes you feel like you're a burden or a chore

renjun... i don't know if he would like it too much! everyone adores him all the time and yes having a partner is different than him hanging out with the neos but i honestly think he just likes everything to be private and pretty basic. that's not to say he doesn't like you being clingy or won't be clingy to you back, he just prefers to have you in private. likes it when he senses you need him and he feels very wanted in a sense that you always seem to want to touch him and follow him around. usually doesn't mind it because you're not invasive about it. sets healthy boundaries though!

jeno... loves it. oh my god i feel like he would want a clingy parter. he's on the quieter side so someone to just sit with him and wrap themselves around him like a koala while he just goes on about his day just, sounds so nice and appealing?? loves it when you follow him around like a lost kitten... he pats you on the head as a reward each time, v wholesome overall! especially likes you being clingy in public because he lives and breathes to show you off like UGH and when you're not afraid to show the world how obsessed with him you are??? ugh! you sitting on his lap while he games?? feels as though he won at life

haechan... oh my god, its so hard to be clingy with him because he's already so clingy with you. he reminds me of those high school and university boys who like tease you sm but are always so sweet and look like a puppy and you can't help but... adore them?! and he thinks if you the same way. honestly if you're usually really clingy, he adores it regardless and you both are in your own lovey little world 90% of the time BUUT if you usually aren't and start being clingy with him out of the blue, oh he will never let you live it down

jaemin... takes it as an opportunity to baby you to the max!! if he had a partner i think, since his moods vary sm and he's more of an ambivert, he would want to gauge how clingy and lovey he would be to his partner whenever he would get into those moods, so when he sees you being clingy, he takes that as an open to be doting to you and he also finds himself getting into a cutesy mindset?? as well? really enjoys you in general and he's a pretty touchy person himself and i think he would especially be a fond of clinginess if he is in love with someone the way he loves you. a cuddler for sure

chenle... one of his favorite things about you hehe. likes to feel like a big man yknow, i've said this before LOL but its true!! i will say though he seems to me like the type of person who likes his alone time and personal space but does allow you to cling to him because... its YOU! and he has a very soft spot for you. but also, like renjun, makes it a point to communicate when he wants his own space. and he is very good at not making you feel bad about it, just offers different alternatives so he doesn't get like... overstimulated

jisung... is used to people being lovable and adoring but... this is so different like, you want to pepper his face with KISSES??? oh my gosh. doesn't mind you being clingy but never knows how to handle it especially in the beginning of you guys dating. learns your clingy habits and comes to adore the way you treat him when you lean towards a more doting mood like UGHHH and if you're shorter than him?? and he just looks down at you while you smile lovingly with your arms wrapped around him GAHHH. likes back hugs from you when you're extra clingy. he is obsessed with you and slowly becomes equally as clingy

[newwwwusername]

Hey! Is it alright if I can request a JTHM AU fic wherein he is a very famous goth alternative rock singer? He’s still a murderer and everything else, but he’s also famous, whether he loves it or hates it.

Chronology : The AU described in the request Pairing(s) : Johnny & Psycho Doughboy & Mr. Eff Headcanon(s) : Musician!Johnny Author's note : Part of this was inspired by the plot of Picture This by Vincent V. Cava

Johnny hadn't intended to become a famous musician.

No, truly, he hadn't. He tried to avoid attention as much as possible, though he also loathed the ones who ignored him. Somewhere in his brain, he knew it was an irrational way to live but he was way too far gone to give a shit.

Regardless, when he started posting his nonsensical songs to the internet, he wasn't planning on being famous. Even if that was the plan, he wasn't sure it was possible with his set-up : A slightly out of tune electric guitar plugged into a staticky amp combined with his almost indie-pop voice didn't seem like a good combination on paper.

He did it for fun. He wanted some sort of outlet for whenever he had to lay low from the authorities. These periods were hard for him and made him feel more suicidal than he usually did, because he couldn't kill. Killing was his biggest passion at the end of the day so, when he had to stop for whatever reason, it was torturous.

The music distracted and, soon enough, views and comments began to flood in. He wasn't sure how so many people had suddenly stumbled upon his videos, but they had and now he was a household name among edgy goth kids.

Fucking shoot me now he thought to himself when he realized this. I'm a household name among edgy goth kids

He was also a bit concerned that the sudden attention would draw the attention of the police but, by some miracle, that level of risk stayed the same as it always had.

The comments varied from aggressive hate to venting to praise and it was a bit hard to navigate.

what kind of fuckin sociopath sings ab this sht??

hey j, i wanna thank you 4 the songs youve been posting. i feel seen for the first time in my life

nice work

this is really gay :/

"Gay? Really, what kind of useless prick resorts to such lowly, gross insults- Not only are they insulting me, but an entire subsect of people over harmless guitar tones" he scoffed. "I swear to all things in this world I will kill each and every one of these worthless stains hiding behind their disgusting screen names" he declared to no one in particular. "Don't think I won't!"

"Do it" Mr. Eff encouraged. "People are stupid and leave way too much information out in the public" he continued. "It wouldn't be that hard to track them down. Knowing your luck, there's probably a few within the city"

"Or you could just kill yourself" Psycho Doughboy suggested. "They're not wrong in saying your music is shit"

"I know what I'll do" Johnny stood up with a newfound energy. "I shall perform at local bars" he turned to the Doughboys, which smiled at him wickedly. "Any hecklers will see the end of their days, and it would make good money on the side"

"Who in their right mind would tip you for your garbage?" Psycho asked. Johnny laughed manically.

"They don't have to be in their right mind" Johnny countered. "They just need cash"

"He's not wrong" Mr. Eff smiled. The other Doughboy elbowed him in the side, getting an irritated groan in response.

"This is it, guys" Johnny smiled, opening his front door. He dragged his equipment outside to be put in his wheelbarrow and carted off to the nearest bar. "I've found my new purpose"

With that, he shut the door, leaving the Doughboys stationary and lifeless.

[sunshinechildskywalker]

20 questions for fic writers

Hi, friends! I was tagged by the forever-incredible @ladyvader23- thanks for the tag, my friend!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

I have 12 works and counting!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

67,866 words (woah! More than I realized!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write primarily for Star Wars, but also write for Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and believe it or not, the Simpsons! Sideshow Bob sparked something in my bestie and I that kicked off a year of non-stop Google Doc sharing and squee comments on each other's works XD

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Grounded (578)

L & V One Shots & Ficlets (554)

Convalescence (278)

Tortured Soul (191)

Come With Me (159)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I sure do! I always try to respond with a least a "omg thank you!!!" or something of the like to show my appreciation. I wish I could go more in-depth for them all, and I do for the really long ones, but I end up not always having the time or energy to pay each comment the response it deserves. As always, thank you to everyone who has commented on my stuff!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's actually one I haven't posted yet (nor finished, and that's one I def want to be done before I post it). To give you context without too many spoilers, basically it's an alternate ending to ROTJ in which Vader doesn't die...but Luke does. I've been writing it on and off since my freshman year of high school and am excited about it, but damn, it's so hard to write because it makes me so sad!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Grounded! That was the first one I ever posted (during my first week of senior year of high school!) I feel like that one wrapped up nicely.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Once in a great while. Most of the hate comments I receive are digs on my characterization of Vader. One time I got a negative comment on a oneshot that I specified was part of a larger story I would recommend reading beforehand, and the commenter didn't understand why Vader was written the way he was, when in actuality, it had a lot to do with his development in the larger story. That one was a detailed hate comment and was hard to shake, but I'm learning how to let them roll off my back.

On a side note, this is partly why I don't ask for constructive criticism; I have OCD and fixate on even little comments people make that could possibly be construed as negative, real life included. I'm working on how to let them go and look at the facts before I run off with some wild tale about how someone hates me for sure. I'm growing and learning how to manage, but like I said in my AO3 A/Ns, OCD is a bitch ;)

9. Do you write smut?

Sure do XD It's pretty much all Skysolo (which you will see in an upcoming Skysolo story I'm almost done with *wink wink* ;))

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't before, but I'm entertaining the idea of some kind of Star Wars/Harry Potter type thing. To be completely honest, it's inspired by the Sims I made in Sims 4 lol XD. I had my HP Sims meet my Star Wars Sims and it was so funny to see how they all interacted. Luna immediately grabbed a book off of Leia's bookshelf, Anakin began cooking dinner, and Harry and Luke were talking privately in a separate room from the group- I like to imagine they were talking about how hard it is to be "the hero" and have the world literally depending on you. If I do end up writing this, I'll be sure to post XD *cue Spongebob's "when worlds collide" lol*

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, so hopefully that answer is no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but would be open to working with someone to translate!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Nothing I've posted, but I co-write Simpsons stuff with my real life bestie. Sideshow Bob has us in a chokehold XD

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I love Skysolo and always will, but I think Finnick and Annie from Hunger Games takes the cake for me. I could go on, but the way they've both been through similar trauma and care for one another gets me big time. And Finnick is one of my all-time favorite characters, so I'm a little bias XD

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Tbh, both of my Whumptobers lol. I bit off more than I could chew both years between that and school, work, life. Hopefully I'll plan a little better this year and will be able to finish!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I write hurt/comfort well, and it sounds weird, but I write crying pretty well too lol. I think I'm getting better at imagery and sentence structure too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with writing action, and I tend to write run-on sentences. I'm hoping to work on this for future fics!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I haven't done this personally, but I have a lot of respect for others who do. I think it's wild people can speak a whole other language period, but using that language in all its differences stylistically to tell a story? Absolutley amazing.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Hunger Games! I wrote Finnick becoming like a big brother for Prim after the war (flash back to me furiously typing out hurt/comfort scenes on my ipod notes in middle school LOL XD)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I have a special place in my heart for Convalescence; I live for that kind of hurt/comfort and angst, and I'm excited to finish it.

Thanks for reading if you did! I'll tag @spell-cleaver and @starr234, but don't feel obligated if this doesn't interest you!

May the Force be with you, friends!!!

[cryptfile]

Hii!! Can I request frenchie from the boys x f! reader, maybe she's patching him up after a long day? <33

yes,,, thank you for this from the bottom of my heart, might went above with what you actually asked, but whatever, i’m living my best and just rolling with it.

⟢ mountains at midnight, [ frenchie x f!reader ]

summary — After a failed relationship, Serge knocks on your door half baked / half bleeding-to-fucking-death.

warnings — angst, some smooches, it's implied that reader is in her twenty-somethings, filthy mouth, frenchie is in loOOoOve here, some fighting, fluff in the end, usual the boys content aka violence, blood, drugs, mentions of murder, infinite sadness, if you’re a medic you might hate me, little nina is a warning herself.

side notes — hi lovely people on the internet! first things first: i've recasted frenchie to dev patel cause fuck zionists, also loved writing for frenchie, been writing about gen v on wattpad but this? a whole different level. word's on the street my ass latin, so you know now english is not my first language and if there's any mistakes is my own fault being just a girlie out here,, comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated and very much loved! thank you guys so much for the support.

It’s way too late when you hear the knocks on your door.

You’re not used to receive visitors in the middle of the night. Your friends know you hate people to show up uninvited so it’s almost a non-spoken arrangement: You sell the weed to afford med school and they keep you out of trouble.

So you can’t stop yourself from thinking the absolute worst when you hear the noise in your front door, already cursing cause you don't have these expensive cameras that allows you to watch who's outside: What if the police knows you’re selling weed? Worse. What if Vought discovered all about your nice ability of astral projection? Just the thought of it makes you grab the bat, trying to find something to defend yourself with as if it’s going to work against someone as powerful as Homelander.

When you open the door, it’s something similar to seeing a ghost.

Cause that's what Frenchie is to you. A fever dream you must experience after being so tired, after exhausting yourself with the damn residency. You've been doing turns lately in the hospital and you are drained all the fucking time, too many hours standing and trying not to fuck it up it’s now passing you the check.

But when he talks. Jesus fucking Christ, when he talks, you just know it's him in the flesh, stopping the world for a minute — "Bonne nuit," he says all normal like you understand more than just the basics of French. "Long time no see, mon ami."

How does he still remembers your address? How did he managed to get to your apartment when you explicitly said you don't want him anywhere near you? Your heart skips a beat when you're realizing the blood covering his shirt, the dirt on his skin, the bruise forming in his eye: he's injured.

It makes sense soon after, why he's there outside your place, surpassing the locks that protected the building and are supposed to keep people like him out yet, failed miserably. You let out a scoff, taking mental notes of talking about security to the building manager tomorrow.

"You need to go to a hospital, there's also a vet clinic a couple’ blocks away, both do the work" It's tempting. The thought of closing the door in his face after he was a complete asshole with you last time you saw him, but you cannot bring yourself to be cruel, to leave him standing while he seeks for somebody to stitch him up. — "Told you not to come here, Frenchie."

He's different now. He has now cut his hair in a different way, split lip while he pouts like he has loose a huge fight. He looks better, more composed even, but you don't let it slip while you look at him, debating if he won the fight he was involved in or if he just managed to escape, as usual, always in danger.

"Please," he says placing his hand in the door frame like he just read your mind, preventing you from closing the door. "Need your help, mon docteur."

When he looses balance you know shit's for real, quickly grabbing him by the waist as you take one of his hands to place it in your shoulder. He smells like blood, sweat, and weed, and it takes a minute for you to get used to it, being so intense at first when you hold him close to you that it stays with you even when you help him lay in the couch, already knowing it's going to be stained forever.

Fuck's sake. It's not physically possible to say no to him.

You hate him from the moment he's inside. Hate how he has you now all stressed looking for everything you need to prevent him from bleeding out on your couch, still trying to understand if you're worried about his well being or if it's actually about the fact that he could die in your apartment with good grams of weed well hidden, leading you to arrest under micro-trafficking and possible murder charges.

And when you see the large cut on his stomach, you know exactly why you guys didn't work out in the first place, why his way of living was so different than yours trying to keep a low profile, not used to get in trouble with superheroes, usually surviving. You hold your breath in as you notice the situation, his body bruised, blood spread all over like it was a medal.

“The person who did this didn’t do any harm to your organs” you say inspecting, lucky bastard. “But you're gonna’ need stitches.”

"See? I’m gonna' be fine, docteur" he says almost trying to keep you steady while you took the new-moon-shaped needle, that damn nickname you hate with all your guts. You know he would not come if it wasn't absolutely necessary, his gaze following you like he cannot possibly believe he's talking to you again after all that time promising not to. "Not planning to die on your settee."

"You're high" it's not a question but more of a statement. "So please, shut up if you are really not planning to die tonight."

You’re struck by his accent, the way he combined the words so easily while you worked on stitching his skin, finally stopping the bleeding as you can breathe in peace. Med school has been awful, but at least you can do decent stitches even under the dim lights of the lamps, looking at your work almost proud moments after.

Handled him like a fucking pro.

You seem to forget about the contact, being trained to be a doctor has hit deep down now that you can keep professional at all times, but for Frenchie, even after being pretty much stabbed, he managed to fill his mind with memories of you while your cold fingertips close the cut, to think, once again, that he does not deserve you at all, your meeting being a mistake he wouldn't do all over again.

He stills hallucinates about when he met you in your second year of university, selling weed in your campus parties making a pretty good list of clients for yourself. He remembers being so mad at you for stealing possible clientèle at the time, he was planning on beating your ass and scare you out until you didn't dare to sell at all. At least, that was the idea until he notices his potential nemesis. You.

He talked about the situation with Little Nina convincing her he could take care of the problem, but in reality, he chooses to make you his problem instead. You were just a twenty-something med student that stayed up late at night and sell plain weed in order to afford some stuff he knew you needed: How could he be aggressive with you?

He's almost whipped before even talking to you, after following you for a while without you even noticing, he's studying you like you're, indeed, the enemy. And when he finally talks to you in that stupid party, you finally seem to notice he's not there for a nice business, not when he's pulling you aside from all the noise.

You both are so different it's annoying, however, fits so good must be a curse.

You managed to work out the next couple of months, split the clients, the money, and there were no suspects until Nina found out and killed one of your classmates in response, leaving you surrounded by cops and detectives and a profuse sadness that never seemed to go away.

Frenchie is pretty sure you're one of the best thing he used to have in his life, utterly convinced that he must remain far from you after years of not talking to you, yet, he's unable to do it much longer. Maybe it's the weed, the fever and the pain all combined together, but when he noticed he was close to your place, he choose to seek for your help instead of turning to his teammates.

He's no good for you. Even after not being around Nina and changing completely. He's simply no good for you.

You work in silence, unsure of what to say at first. Your breathing is steady as you cover the wound with bandages, neck sore already after keeping the same position over the minutes without sleeping much all that week. Frenchie doesn't whine even when it hurts, making it easier to work with as you check other injuries.

When it comes to the split lip, you know it's going to be a thing.

"Thanks for patching me up," he says while you press the alcohol revealing a much smaller wound that you'd actually imagined, mouth's always bleed tons. "I'm just sorry for showing up so late, mon ami."

Inconsiderate. Your eyes dart the movements of his upper lip while he speaks, trying to clean the blood while it moves with no victory.

"Please talk to me princesse" he says soon after, crazy by your silence — “Please.”

Your eyes narrow in response, looking at him while inspecting his lip. “How did you manage to get so damn fucked up?” You wished you didn't ask, because you already know how he got it, how he was working now for a whole different group doing suicidal missions all the time, heard it from a close friend.

He stays silent for a while, and you cannot help but roll your eyes in response. You’re used to it, to the lack of information and the blatant lie he always used to tell just to reassure you, so instead, you continue cleaning his wounds with alcohol, pressing the gauze with less patience now that he regained the color of his skin. You’re simply not doing it anymore.

“Just stay still so we can do this fast enough” you say tired already, having to deal with him even just ten miserable minutes results in a classic headache.

Silence. You are dragged by the current into an awkward silence, inspecting the stitches and the bruises that now appeared in his skin. He’s warm to the touch in spite of the blood loss, and you cannot help but worry about his well-being deep in your mind, hating him for it: The guy disappears however he wants to, and now has the fucking nerve to show up like nothing ever happened? God.

It’s impossible to keep quiet for the next two minutes, specially when you notice he’s biting the inside of his cheek like he’s stopping himself from saying something stupid — “What?”

“Nothing,” he responds, avoiding your gaze. "I know you're mad at me, docteur."

"I'm pretty mad at you, you're right" you admit in a low voice, finally taking your utensils to the kitchen sink when you finish, cursing when you notice you got blood on your shirt. "That's why you're waiting an hour before leaving. Not involving in whatever is going on in your life right now.”

His pained expression makes you almost regret everything you say. He knew he deserved it, but it didn't stop him from being miserable when he hears you, the cold words lingering in the air as they repeated in his mind over and over again.

"Sober up. Leave after."

It's almost a command, and he hates the sound of it, far from the way he wanted you to command him in reality, the sound of your voice making him shiver. He hates every second of it, remembering why he kept far, giving you space to continue your life without him in the picture.

It stings on Frenchie’s chest, and you try to keep your pride high enough to not think about how much you actually missed him, how you're done with him after moving on at least twice since the last time you saw him, staring at the blood circling in the drain.

"I'm sorry, mon ami" he says when you pass close to him, grabbing the dirty towels as you search, in your mind, for ways to make miracles in that sofa, and you believe him for a second when he grabs you by the wrist, cause deep down you just want him to be sorry for all the shit he did, the lies, the danger.

You just started to sell weed again recently, and his sudden visit makes you so damn uncomfortable: You don't want to take anyone's clients, you learned that the hard way. "I'll never be able to make it up to you docteur, not even in a million years. Je ne voulais pas te faire de mal."

You don't fully get what he says, and you blame it on that fucking app that's been teaching you french all along, you don't even dare to look at him until you think you can handle his intense gaze, now burning in your cheek — "Created this huge mess just to leave me alone to the fucking wolves."

“And there will not be a day I won’t regret it.”

“You’re not going to be able to make it up to me even in a century, Serge.”

It happens all so sudden after, when he pulls you down slightly, enough to press the palm of your hand flat against his chest, the feeling of his heartbeat giving you straight up chills. It’s beating so fast you’re sure it’s abnormal, the expression of his face almost begging you to have patience with him, that he just needs you beyond explanation.

“Don’t call me like that,” he asks, and you’re just standing there, so fucking close, looking at him slightly blushed.

“Like what?”

“Like I don’t mean anything to you, coeur. Like we’re strangers.”

“I don’t know you, at all” you admit in a low voice, and it saddens you to say it out loud — “I don’t think I ever did.”

God. You don’t expect it, you don’t expect the visit, the way he enters to your life again through the main door, dissolving you completely. You don’t expect any of it, it catches you by surprise without giving you any time to even prepare yourself.

He somehow manages to make sit down close to him, composed now that the he’s not bleeding-to-death. And fuck, it takes a minute for you to adjust, to notice what you’re actually doing, the feeling of his hand holding your wrist making it impossible for you to leave, to even put some necessary distance, his breathing changing as you got closer.

“We’re not strangers, mon docteur, never would when my heart beat that fast for you. To me, you’re the most real thing in my life” he’s smiling, and you can’t help but look at him amazed of his way of always change everything around. “It’s visible you don’t want me here, but I cannot stop myself from coming every single time, tu me manques, coeur.”

“You miss me, huh?” you ask almost in disbelief.

“You are missing from me,” Frenchie corrects. He knows the world is a pretty fucked up place to be, but he just wants you to be okay, to avoid trouble and just live a regular happy life.

You are willing to reply, to say something about it, about the time you spend hating his ass and missing him at the same time, but you stay silent when you can feel his gaze following your every movement, when he’s the one that puts his free hand on your cheek, his touch being enough to warm up your face, staining your cheeks red.

It’s so intense. The lack of air, the way his eyes find yours in demand of something you already know.

“Please forgive me” Frenchie says, blatant sincerity. “I’m deeply sorry, mon docteur. I’m the worst thing you’ll ever met, and I cannot help but come back to you.”

His words echo in your brain, and you don’t know exactly when, but you lean into his touch, the palm of his hand warm against your cheek.

“Fuckin’ hate you.”

You don’t. You know you don’t hate him at all. It’s quite the opposite, and it weights on your chest as he smiles like he just got his life back in track again, like it’s everything it takes to make him really happy after all that shit he’s enduring day after day.

And you try put some distance between both of you seconds after, but your heart betrays you sooner than you expect and it’s all it takes for him to finally kiss you, a tender kiss at first that freezes you for an instant, his touch transforming in something else — Something your skin has already experienced before, a taste you’ve savoured long time ago. Makes you shiver when you realize how it feels not foreign at all but just natural, like something you already learnt but it’s kept in the depths of your mind.

He’s damanding when pressing his lips against you, and it clouds your mind for a second, a thick gaze that just makes you dumb at his touch. His hands on your hips are pulling you closer without even caring for his damn stitches, and it becomes intoxicating, the need to keep on kissing him, to have him close, you forget about Little Nina, the weed, and almost everything that surrounds you.

Heavy breathing you seemed to understand it all. Nose touching his as you get it. Maybe you do need to talk. Maybe it’s important to keep your guard down one last time. You cannot avoid him much longer, not when your own heart aches in need.

Serge’s like climbing a mountain at midnight: Just impossible.

[iwadori]

So I'm reading your works and I love them !! I was thinking of requesting some kind of drabble or whatever you like, about a female reader who has thick thighs and is somewhat plump and is in love with Tsukishima but he makes a comment about the food and she feels bad and when she meets Bokuto in the boot camp Bokuto is too cute and attentive to her asking for her number and a date. If you don't feel comfortable with this, just ignore it and good luck with your blog. Sorry my english is bad<3

When they make you insecure PT 5 (tsukishima,bokuto)

Part One Part Two  Part Three Part Four  Part Five Part 6

Word Count: 2.6K

Genre: Angst to Fluff

masterlist

Tsukishima

You and Tsukishima have been dating in your first year (as you both went to the same middle school together.)

You were in love with Tsukishima, you always have been to be honest, but once you became officially boyfriend and girlfriend your feelings amplified.

But recently, Tsukishima hasn’t been so nice.  

“Y/N we’re going on another training camp at Nekoma” Hinata exclaimed running up to you, as you leaning against Tsukishima “and you get to come too this time!”

You recently became the new trainee manager as the third-year manager, Kikyoko, is going to graduate. Tsukishima acted as if you being around all the time in practice was the worst thing in the world, but Yamagucchi always assured you that ‘Tsukki’ was just joking.

“Oh well that’s fun...” you say entertaining Hinata’s excitement. You were kind of excited to go to the training camp too, as it was in Tokyo after all. You were always a big fan of volleyball as your dad used to play for the national team and you were planning to play on the girls team this year but you felt that you didn’t have the body for it (which was obviously not true.)

Hinata kept on rambling on before Tsukishima insulted him. “Gosh Kei, you don’t have to be so rude.” you complained, he slightly nudged you off of him and put on his headphones showing you that he was not in a good mood.

You let the rest of the practice continue, making notes of things and basically being Kiyoko’s shadow. As it ended, you waited outside for Tsukishima to walk home with you, but one of the guys told you he left 5 minutes ago. You knew there was no point of chasing after him so you just walked on your own, making you sigh in defeat.

Tsukishima was what you would describe as hot and cold. Some days he was fine a ‘perfect gentlemen’ but other days, days like this Tsukishima was just Tsukishima.  

When you got home, you decided to watch matches of all the other schools just to get some insight. You were watching a Fukarodani V Nekoma match from a few years ago and something caught your eye, well someone did to be more specific. A beefy, bicolour haired boy who was hooting like an owl was mesmerizing to watch.

You saw that his name was Bokuto Koutarou which triggered your next actions, which were to internet stalk him. You learned that he was the captain of the team and the team’s ace and the 5th ace in the country which piqued your interest in the boy even more.

‘This is going to be an exciting training camp’ you think to yourself before going to sleep.

`Kiyoko gave you an itinerary of all the things you should bring, since you weren’t going to be joining in any of the matches you were reminded to bring things that would keep entertained.  

You get to the bus at the crack of dawn, ready to be driven to Tokyo. Hinata and Kageyama were already arguing (let’s pretend that they didn’t have to do the retakes in the test) Tanaka and Nishinoya were being loud, and the rest of the members were already asleep. You wanted to sit next to Tsukishima but when you were about to sit down, he put his carryon bag in the seat next to him.

The bus ride was around 4-5 hours, and you spent your time reading and sleeping. Daichi got the loudmouths to calm down making the bus ride more tolerable. You suffered from slight motion sickness but you powered through.

When you arrived there, you saw all the other teams and their buses too. You felt a bit overwhelmed, seeing these tall boys just crowd around an entrance way. But too your surprise, noticing your slight anxiousness, Tsukishima grabbed your hand in a hand-hold.  

The Nekoma coach, explained how the day would pan out and where each team would be residing for the week. There was a lot of commotion getting everyone settled, Hinata and Nishinoya were basically bouncing off of the wall commenting on all the people and the place and how they’re going to ‘crush the competition.’  

You could tell that when the other teams were looking at Karasuno they were all staring at Kiyoko. Inquisitive about how there wasn’t only one girl manager but there was two. As you were walking your eyes locked with Bokuto Koutarou’s making yours widen, you blush and turn your head quickly.  

What you didn’t know was, after your small interaction, Bokuto elbowed Akaashi and said “Akaaashi AKKAAASHI, did ya see that? did ya?” he was flying with happiness “That girl from Karasuno smiled at me. She’s really pretty.”

“I think she’s from Karasuno” Akaashi said “So maybe you’ll see her around”

Bokuto stared off in the direction you were walking in “Yeah, hopefully.”

The first day, everyone got settled in and then the teams went straight into games. There were two different gyms and today, in gym 1, you were watching Karasuno V Nekoma. (By the way I literally don’t remember the teams at the training camp besides Nekoma, Karasuno and Fukarodani.) The game was very back a point each team making point after point, you already knew of Nekoma’s captain, Kuroo Testurou and the setter Kenma, you’ve actually played games with Kenma online before so you were fairly acquainted with him already.

The games ended and it was now dinner time, the canteen was packed with all the boys rushing to line up for the food. You waited at the back of the line, not really caring about when you got your food. Suddenly, you felt a tap on your shoulder and you looked over to see Boktuo,  

“Hi.” he said “I’m Bok-”

“Bokuto Koutarou!” You finished “I'm a big fan..” you cringed immediately at your excitement ‘pull it together Y/N’ you scold yourself.

“Oh well hi, I’m glad you know who I am” he said “and may I ask for your name?”  

“Oh I’m Y/N L/N” you say with a slight blush “I'm the trainee manager from Karasuno.”  

“Cool! Well I hope to see you aro-” he starts  

“Y/N, I’ve been looking all over for you, I already got your food for you.” Tsukishima said pulling at your arm a bit harshly, dragging you over to a table with the Karasuno team.

“Gosh Tsukki, no need to be so harsh” you say rubbing at your wrist, he didn’t apologize and just started eating his food.  

You look down at your plate and see the small portion that Tsukki got for you. The Karasuno bunch was being loud, as they usually are, so when you whisper “Tsukki what the fuck is this” whilst nudging him in the side, he didn’t hear you (or atleast he pretended he didn’t.) You tried again but a little louder saying, “Tsukishima what the fuck is this.” you realised you said it a bit too loud as the whole Karasuno table stopped their conversations to look over at the slight commontion you caused.

“What do you mean Y/N?” he said with a slight smirk on his face.

“I mean what’s with the portion size of a bird that you gave me?” you ask getting upset “Do you really think im that big?”

“Well, you could start eating less that’s for sure.” he said earning gasps from you and some of the people sitting at the table “Y/N let's face it, you eat like a pig and you look like an elephant, me making your food portion smaller is the least I could do.”  

By now you had tears in your eyes, Tsukishima was a dick. You knew this, everybody knew this to be honest, yet you still loved him. He wasn’t like this in middle school, yes he was a bit snarky and rude (but wasn’t every middle schooler?) High school Tsukishima was like a completely different person. As much as you wanted to run away and hide, you knew you couldn’t.  

So you stood up and said “Tsukishima, I’ve spent 3 years loving and pining after you, because I thought you were this great guy, but turns out you’re a huge asshole” you start making some of the people listening in smile in laughter “Tsukishima, I’ve hated this past year dating you, you’ve been such a huge dick and I’m finally stopping you. I can’t do this anymore. I won’t.” You start making your way to exit before finally saying “Oh and by the way I’m not the pig here, you are... oh and I’m breaking up with you.” You left, hearing a few laughs and some claps behind you.

You felt relieved, like the massive cloud that’s been over your head is finally gone. You went to the gym since you knew it was empty and picked up a ball to just throw it around a bit. After a while of ‘de-stressing,’ you hear someone else enter the gym.

“Oh I didn’t know you’d be here.” said Bokuto  

“Well here I am,” you say awkwardly “I can leave if you want me too, I know this is for actual volleyball players.”

“No no it’s fine you can definitely stay, in fact do you mind setting for me?” he asks  

“Sure, of course I don’t mind” you reply, excited you get to play with someone.  You haven’t played in ages, you always begged Tsukishima to just throw a ball around with you but he never did.  

You set to Boktuo a lot, with him always asking for ‘another one’ everytime he spiked the ball. Eventually, you were tired of setting and wanted to spike. You originally was a spiker to begin with taking after your dad. Thats why you took a liking to Bokuto in the first place cause he reminded you of the joys you had when watching your father play.

Bokuto set a ball to you and you spiked it with great strength and accuracy smiling at the burning feeling you felt in your palm.  

“Woahh” Bokuto shouted going towards you in amazement “Where did you learn how to spike like that?”

“From my dad, I don’t know if you heard of him before but my dad’s name is D/N L/N...?” you say

“D/N L/N, Y/N he is my idol!” he shouted again “I want to be just like him.”

“I think you can, I see a lot of similarites in the way you both play.” you say

“Really! And you’ve seen me play before..?” he asks

“Yeah, I watched some of your games before coming here... you’re really good” you shyly admit.

“Wow.”

You and Bokuto spend the rest of your time, talking about volleyball you’re interests, things you have in common, your likes and dislikes. Talking to Bokuto was refreshing, he didn’t randomly insult you or make snide comments about your weight or your looks. He just genuinely looked happy to be there talking to you, unlike Tsukishima.  

Seeing your change in mood, Bokuto stops talking and asks “are you alright? I forgot to ask earlier, but I saw what happened in the canteen and I hope you’re okay.”  

“Yeah I’m fine, it’s just things with me and Tsukishima reached a breaking point, I guess...” you say sniffling a bit talking about it “But it’s fine now I’ve broken up with him and I feel better already.”

“So you’re saying your single...?” he asked blushing a bit

“Yeah I guess I am...” you smile blushing also.  

“Okay great...well I hope this isn’t too forward after everything happened with Tsukki and all but...” he starts “but would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Who me?” you ask as if you weren’t the only other person in the room

“No the volleyball” he responds sarcastically “Of course you Y/N.”  

“Are you sure, cause to be honest Bokuto you’re a really good-looking guy” you say making him smile widely “so I think you need someone to match your level in attractiveness” you look down and his smile drops.

“What do you mean?” he asks before realising all the stuff Tsukishima said about you “Y/N you’re beautiful, your face, your body just you.” you blush at his words “when I first saw you when you were walking past us in the entrance way the first thing I thought and said about you was “Akaashi who is that girl she’s beautiful.””  

“Really?” you ask with disbelief

“Mhm” he nods excitedly “So will you go on a date with me?”  

“I guess so...” you say a bit unsure

“HEY HEY HEY!” he exclaims “I gotta go tell akaashi!” he runs out of the gym in a hurry making you laugh, but he comes back to give you a quick unexpected kiss on the cheek making you smile.

You checked your phone for the time realising that you’ve been with Bokuto for 3 hours and you knew that everyone would be going to sleep now. As you are the manager you slept seperately from the rest of the team but before you went to your sleeping quaters you went to Karasunos.  

“Y/N where have you been? We’ve been worried about you.” asked yammagucchi  

“It’s fine yams don’t worry about it, guys” you say catching everyones attention “I just wanted to apologise to you for my outburst at dinner, it wasn’t my intention to cause a scence.”

“It’s fine Y/N” said sugawara “He definitely deserved it.”

“Yeah as your marvellous senpai we gave him a good telling off��� said Tanaka and Nishinoya  making you chuckle.  

“Okay well thanks guys, I’m going to sleep goodnight.”

“Wait Y/N can I speak with you.” asked Tsukishima gesturing to outside the room

“Umm sure” you respond following him into the corridor.

“I just want to say I’m sorry for the things I’ve said and done over the past year and how I’ve been a terrible boyfriend, you don’t deserve that. So, I’m sorry.”  

“I can’t say I can forgive you yet.” you say making Tsukishima look sad “but maybe with effort from you we can become friends possibly?”  

“Just friends?” he said with hope in voice thinking that you could be something more.

“Just friends.” you repeated and confirmed “Besides I have been asked on a date”  

“With who?”  

“None of your business stingyshima” you mock the nickname that Hinata calls him making him scowl and you smile “Goodnight.”

After Bokuto’s confession and Tsukishima’s apology, the rest of the training camp went off without a hitch. In your breaks and lunchtimes, you got to know more about Bokuto and with Kuroo’s help you even got to sneak out to actually go on your date. You sometimes even went to practice with them getting to show off your skills, with Bokuto cheering you on and complimenting you every single time.  

Tsukishima kept his distance for the most part, and kept the snarky comments about you and Bokuto to himself (even though he was dying to say them.) You eventually fully forgave Tsukishima in your 3rd year but you definitely weren’t as close as you used to be. Tsukishima’s comments and actions did affect you for a while however with the help of your loving boyfriend, you were reminded how beautiful you are no matter what weight, shape or height you were.

You and Bokuto stayed together, you made sure to come to every one of his games and when you introduced him to your dad he fainted on sight. Your dad and Bokuto got along, and became very close friends, Bokuto always came to him for advice (especially volleyball advice.) You loved Bokuto and he definitely loved you too.

AN: I hope you liked it, since I didn’t want to make it too similar too the Atsumu insecure one. And I feel like it dragged out a bit but got rushed in the endd....but oh well...

[glowingbadger]

Can I get some SFW and nsfw modern day Kaeya and Diluc stuff? Ty ty!

Damn I hadn't even thought about ModernAU Genshin before lol should be interesting- lesgoooo~

Side note- Genshin refuses to make actual sense of any of the ages of its characters, so I'm going with, like... mid-20's, semi-recently out of college for these two.

Kaeya, Diluc x GN Reader - ModernAU! headcanons

SFW (nsfw below the cut)

Kaeya:

- He's in law school, and has a real knack for discovering hilarious and exploitable legal loopholes. It's also a field that suits him for a number of reasons- it makes use of his infectious natural charm, and keeps him entertained with the 'stories' you happen upon working with people's legal and personal problems. He's also the best dressed in any of his classes, and in any given courtroom. Those who know luxury clothing when they see it can't help incredulously wondering how he affords his wardrobe while still technically a student.

- Kaeya is such a shitposter. He habitually 'likes' any and everything you post on any and all social media platforms- but he'll also comment "mmm who's that sexy thing" beneath the most innocuous images of you. He sends you dumb memes at concerning hours of the night- frequently while intoxicated, and especially when you've had a stressful day.

- As a partner, Kaeya is surprisingly loyal. His friends (and yours) will joke about him being a total slut, how you must have to keep him on such a short leash. He doesn't take offense to this though, and in a way, he gets a kick out of being perceived this way. But in truth, since he's been with you, he's never once considered anyone else. When you're alone together, there's a warmth in his gaze and a gentleness to his touch that no one else has ever seen.

- Everywhere Kaeya goes, he seems to "know a guy." He's always got an in- and an elaborate story of how he met this person and why they're, frankly, worryingly open to doing him favors. It's rare that a date with Kaeya goes by without you being offered free drinks, free desserts, a better seat at a restaurant or theatre, etc. Generally, when pressed, he'll wave a hand and say, "Babe come on, you know me- I just love making friends." Though you've heard whispers that some of his "friends" are just people who can't afford to be on his bad side.

Diluc:

- Was on track to become a police officer for some time, but it took barely a month from completing his training for him to become entirely disillusioned with the entire system. He quit (bluntly and forcefully, I might add) and now works as a P.I. His quietly thoughtful and serious nature puts clients at ease while allowing him to examine each case efficiently and effectively. I also figure we'd still carry over the "bartending at night" angle from the games- it's a great way to network and gain intel while undercover.

- His phone is basically a device for work, the news, and sometimes for contacting you, and absolutely nothing else. He hates the constant noise of social media, and refuses to jump on trends when things move too fast to get meaningfully invested in anything. Still, while he tries to angle his screen so you won't see it, he has set a picture of you as his wallpaper.

- Diluc loves the quiet, domestic side of your relationship. He treasures things like cooking together, cuddling on the couch with a movie, or even working on chores and projects together. He comes from money (though he doesn't talk about it much), so the more down to earth life that he's made with you is precious to him, and he appreciates all of the little moments that reaffirm your bond. That said, he does have an excellent memory for things like birthdays, anniversaries and such, and he is not shy about spending some cash on such occasions.

- Your friends all think he's super hot (and they're right), but are also a bit intimidated by him. Once, you tried showing them a sweet message he sent you drowning in heart emojis and they insisted that couldn't be him. Now there's a running joke in your friend group about your secret side-guy who leaves you nice voicemails when you've had a bad day and has flowers sent to your work- since they're convinced someone as serious and put-together as Diluc couldn't be your incredibly affectionate boyfriend.

NSFW 18+ v

Kaeya:

- Kaeya loves showing you off, especially in an outfit he bought just for you. It seriously turns him on to watch you over a nice dinner out wearing something a bit risque that he selected for you, noting the appreciative glances in your direction from others nearby, and knowing that you're his. The way his line of sight wanders your body all night makes it exceedingly clear that he can't wait to tear that lovely outfit off of you when he has you alone.

- Definitely the adventurous and experimental sort when it comes to kink, and he especially enjoys a bit of exhibitionism or semi-public fooling around. During a similar date night, with you looking so positively delicious across the table, he'll watch with a wolfish smirk as you squirm from the vibrations of a toy he pushed inside of you earlier that evening. He reclines in his seat and levels his gaze on you, saying, "My, darling, are you feeling alright? You look a bit flushed..." as his hand fiddles with the toy's remote. Then, once he gets you home or- even better -to a hotel, he'll press you against the window as he fucks you into panting, mindless bliss. Sometimes he doesn't even want to wait that long, and he'll find somewhere to park his car and fuck you in his back seat

- Kaeya has sending dick pics and lewd selfies down to an art. Seriously, his pictures are beautiful- of course helped by the fact that his body is gorgeous as well. Naturally, he loves to receive erotic images of you as well, and will save each and every one of them for "later use." If you're into it, he'll gladly send you a video of himself stroking his cock just for you, while describing every filthy thing he imagines doing to you in explicit detail.

Diluc:

- Generally speaking, Diluc wants to wine and dine you before the spicy business. He's a romantic at heart, and he wants you to know that he adores every part of you- and your body just happens to be one item on that list. He's not as obvious with his desires as some, but lingering gazes across the dinner table, or a hand at the small of your back trailing around your waist, all make his intentions clear. There's no doubt your lovely evening together will end with his strong body pressing you against his matress, his lips at your throat and your thighs clinging around his hips.

- He's generally fairly private about his sex life- not shy, per say, but insistent that your mutual pleasure is something for only the two of you. He's also not likely to sext or send lewd photos unless you really, really want them (and he's kind of adorably awkward about it at first even if he does try for you)- but if you tease him by sending him something naughty, his mind short circuits. His face burns crimson and he stops whatever he was doing and just stares at your beautiful body on the screen, as though he can already feel you in his hands.

- Diluc is a busy man, so there's likely to be stretches when the time and energy for sex simply isn't there. But once he's wrapped up a case and he finally has some time to breathe, you can bet he'll lift you into his arms and carry you to the bedroom the first chance he gets. You might even start to suspect that it's a way for him to vent his work stress when his thick cock pounds into you so nice and steady and deep- but you're certainly not about to complain, especially when you've been without him for so long.

[ask-dcf]

*the bottle forms two new notes, ready for reading.*

----

*Chara's note reads as follows:*

"Honestly? I understand. I understand completely. Its scary, yknow? Love is scary. But you deserve it- sides, there aint no going wrong with Frisk, right? Theyre the kindest person, in both your universe and mine.

As difficult as it is, we're all kinda 'chained' in our own way. Trapped. Its a part of life. But whats important is how we handle our prisons, or whatever. Like...decorating a prison to become a home. Idk if that makes sense? Lol I can't exactly think with everything going on, to be honest.

Take as much time as you need, honestly. But don't let personal chains hold you back forever, okay? Trauma sucks, but honestly, i've found that treating it like an asshole animal you're stuck with as a pet has helped. Does that make sense? Should I even be writing this letter right now? Frisk says no but idc youre getting this anyways

Has anyone told you that you're really cool? cuz you should know that. i think so at least. You have snazzy clothes too. You look very suishable. I kinda wanna squish you. maybe someday we could meet in person? idk if thats possible, but yknow.

Rock on, and fuck those buttercups lol

-Chara"

---

*Frisk's note reads as following:*

"So cool to be hearing back from you!! :D its always nice to make a new friend!

Firstly, I wanna say! Chara can hate humanity, without hating you! Sure, you're human, but...cmon, do you REALLY think she isnt at least fond of you? I heard that she sang to you! Only someone that really cares sings to you! And she blushes a lot around you, too! Thats suspicious to say the list :p

And hey! You arent a weak nobody! You're a frikkin Frisk! The savior of Monsterkind! Sure, Data and Chara helped (which is very cool of them :D) but!! You're one of the ones who saved monsters! That DEFINITELY is more than a nobody!

Besides!! You dont have to have committed some giant act to be a 'somebody'!! Everyone's lives have a meaning, no matter what anyone else tells you. That includes yours.

My big sister Celest told me once 'your value is not what you can do, or how well you can do it. it is who you are. And as long as you are something, whether big or small, you are valuable. Even if that 'something' is just being an everyday person.'

And shes right!! You are valuable, and so am I...even if...its hard to understand or remember sometimes..but if we keep repeating that, someday, we'll believe it with our souls, right? so keep your head up!! or cry if you need it!! both are fine!!

You and I both have people we still want to save. I don't know what will come of either of our situations but...at least we will have each other to tell! ^v^

Sincerely, me! <3

(Ps: tell your Chara that my Chara is delirious, which is why their note might be weird =~=)"

*They read their letters. Confused and slightly flustered as they write their responses*

To Chara (Me): *multiple cross outs as if not sure how to respond to some of these* Thanks… I will need alot of time to think, but i appreciate the support…. And well. what i went through was way too much for me… So it will be hard for me to deal with it. Also thanks, good to know i am cool with my poncho (even though its color is different now) and uuhhh not sure on the squishy thing. i dont think i am… And uh. yeah would be nice to meet another Me thats not a murderer. -signed Other you

To new Friend me!: *couple scribbles aswell unable to respond* I genuinely think she more or less tolerates me the same way she tolerates an aquiantece…. i at least want her to see the outside and know that humanity isnt all bad. Maybe if i show her how peaceful it is then maybe ill have more confidence in being her-*big harsh scribbles* Forget that. As for the blush thing i think she is just shy around another human… maybe… And the singing uh…. no comment… haha… And well… its debatable of the save thing… I…. I also had help when i wanted to save the monsters. its hard to explain what i saw but it did involve Data again… I appreciate Your sisters words of wisdom… while i still dont feel confident i…. I want to at least make Chara see the good in humanity… despite its flaws…. maybe that can be enough for me to be happy…. even if in the end… she… doesnt…. you know…… And yeah. good luck on the people you wanna save, ill try my best myself. stay safe. -Frisk

*they put their notes in the bottle. and it teleports. Frisk looks down sad while Chara looks at them with a bit of worry.*

[bubsthebee]

Can’t Say It.

Aizawa x Reader

Word Count: 3,541

A/N: Fluff, dragged out but it’s a happy ending. One shot. Age difference (9 years) Reader is 22 while Aizawa is 31. Mentions of alcohol.  

Reader is a young teacher at UA who has a unique relationship with Pro Hero and coworker Eraserhead. After a while of getting to know each other, will they realize their feelings? OR will they let self doubt get in the way. 

CHARACTER REPORT

Position: UA SCHOOL ADMINISTRATION 

Job Description: Quirk Analysis and Evaluation Processing. 

Name: (L/N), (F/N)                Power: 2/5 D    Intelligence: 4/5 B

Birthday: (5/10)                     Speed: 2/5 B    Cooperativeness: 5/5 A

Age: 22                                 Technique: 5/5 S

Sex: Female (She/Her)

Quirk: Analysis 

-(Y/N) is able to instantly analyze a person and their abilities after observing them, familiarizing themselves with their qurik. This also includes evaluating/predicting situations with higher than average accuracy. With this ability, she can use this information with or against a subject. She can keep up to three peoples' worth of information perfectly memorized at a time. Anymore, her analysis starts to create more errors and her accuracy decreases. 

--

Ever since (y/n) started working at UA, everyone knew that Aizawa’s single streak was in danger. 

While the scruff chined 1-A homeroom teacher taught his bustling young hero course, she supported the admin staff! Specifically falling under processing and evaluating every student's quirk and how to help progress their potential. This means every homeroom teacher ran their notes and evaluations about their students through her every quarter, possibly more depending on how active and intense their training has been. She and her small team are a key to the school’s successful hero and support course. No matter how a quirk was used, they would find the best way to help them improve it. 

Classroom 1-A currently holds the record for most updates and changes to analysis (surprise). With an increase in updates, (y/n) has spent more sleepless nights making sure her work was perfect than she originally thought she was going to. Not that she minded of course! She was young, and found that it helped drive her to improve her passions and skill. Besides her administrative work, she also works as a substitute teacher for English, and Hero Strategy lessons twice a semester. If needed she is more than happy to help with summer lessons. 

Aizawa has had more than his fair share of interaction with the young lady, more than others if one was keeping track. After the hero noticed (y/n)’s sleepless nights because of his students, he offered to stay and bring her coffee. When (y/n) noticed extra heavy bags under his eyes, there would be a nicely wrapped lunch on his desk with a cute thank you note in return. 

Over time a unique relationship developed between the two that anyone looking in could clearly see. Including the students. 

“Mr Aizawa! Your lady friend left ya another lunch, you’re so LUCKY.” Denki and Mineta whined without hesitation. 

“Why don’t we get cute lunches made by cute girls?” 

“Shut up! That’s Ms. (L/n) you’re talking about, not some side chick you dumbos. I think it’s really sweet.” Mina cooed alongside some of the other girls. 

Their homeroom teacher could only sigh, carefully tucking away the lunch box into his work desk as he partially ignored their scattered comments. “Lucky or not, you all should have your notes out and study. Your test scores from  last week clearly tell me I haven’t given enough in class work time. Do I have to cut down on our outside training hours?” The instant shuffling of paper and pencils brought a small smirk to his face. Nothing got his students off his back faster than less training hours. As he took attendance and organized his schedule, the small peeks at the lunch box reminded him about his last encounter with his….coworker. 

--

“Midoriya is such a strange boy you know? I’m surprised his quirk doesn't instantly tear his body apart every time he uses it. I’m glad he’s getting a handle on it, I hated seeing him hurt himself so often.”  You were sat cross legged in your office chair, typing away at your laptop underneath a bright desk lamp. 

“I agree, he needs to learn how to use his body with his quirk.” 

“Exactly!- Well, it looks like his rate of injuries compared to training has decreased. Based off of Recovery Girls records, his quirk usage deteriorated his arm muscle effectiveness. This means he’s got to either limit his usage on his arms, or learn how to use the rest of his body to compensate.” Rubbing your eyes shifted your reading glasses off of your face, exposing the bags that were starting to grow underneath them. 

“You shouldn’t be getting such heavy bags under your eyes like that, you’re too young for those (L/n).” He always notices them, no matter how well hidden. 

“Ya, okay GRAMPS. You’re not that much older than me and YOUR eyes are just as bad, if not worse. And call me (y/n), we’re friends aren't we?” 

Rolling his eyes, Aizawa gets up with a huff to pour some coffee from the nearby coffee pot. “Midoriya is your last report tonight right? Go home, you’ve got Hero Strategy classes tomorrow.” as if on cue, he hands you the cup of warm coffee while you reach out for it with a quiet “Thank you”. 

The way you hold the cup in your hands and let the warm steam brush against your face leaves him staring at you with a soft look. 

“I guess I could leave a little earlier than I thought....” blowing cool air onto the coffee, you slowly take a sip of the warm beverage. Every time you see that look on his face, you can’t help but wonder what he’s feeling. 

After a short while, you both clean up and close the office up. It’s 1 AM and both of you are more than ready to get at least a few hours of sleep in. Like usual, he walks you halfway to your home before bidding his own goodbye. 

“Goodnight (L/n).” As Aizawa turns to walk away, he feels a small tug at his sleeve. 

“I uh-” Turning to look around, he sees you with pinker cheeks underneath a streetlight. How do you always look so...nice? No matter the light you always look nice. 

You slowly slid your hand down his arm to gently hold onto his hand. It was so soft, not just the hold but your skin. You couldn't even look at him but your voice was clear as day. 

“Thank you, for staying with me. I know how tired you must be too….so I feel honored that you decide to spend your important time with me- er, to help me. You’re a great teacher and man Aizawa. Good night.” Just as quick as the moment had started, your touch was gone and you made your way home. 

He was alone, yet he could still feel your touch on his skin. Aizawa stood there for minutes, looking at his hand in awe and strange curiosity. His coworkers and friends told him multiple times, “You two aren’t a thing?”, “It’s obvious that you fancy her Shouta.”, 

“She has to feel the same, you don’t see how she looks at you when you aren’t paying attention.” 

--

         The school bell alerting the start of their first class was what pulled Aizawa out of his mind, looking up to see (y/n) walk into the class with your information tablet. ‘Ah, right. Hero Strategy.’          “Good Morning class! Great to see you all again.” She was chipper as always, her makeup easily covering her endeavors from the night before. The young teacher wore simple black tights with her training sweat jacket, everyone murmured in excitement because this meant that there would be out of class training and demonstrations          Rubbing his exhaustion from his face, the black haired male stands up to go stand near (y/n). “You all have ten minuets to change and get to the field. Any longer and you’ll be stuck in cleaning duty for the week.”

         Iida is quick to stand and grab his fellow classmates attention. “Quickly but in order, please gather your things and head to the gym! No RUNNING!” As valiant as his efforts were, everyone rushed out of the class in fear of being put into the cleaning crew while it was out of their turn. 

         The small smile he saw on your face was sobering, calmly following behind you as you made your way to the gym. 

         Usually, Aizawa would sneak into his sleeping back and nap during other teachers' lessons. These ones were different for him. He would sit off to the side and observe how you worked with the kids.

 While some students could take simple suggestions and immediately apply them, others needed physical examples. You were more than happy to adapt to all their needs as they all trained with their new plans and teachers notes. While Tokoyami nodded and talked with Dark Shadow about your observations, Uraraka carefully mimicked your moves as you slowly countered her attacks explaining how they affected her opponent's momentum even more. 

         He knew you were a natural when it came to children and hero work. The obvious proof was right in front of him. That and he was nine years older than you, yet you both were doing almost the exact same job. That's where everything starts to blur for him. 

         After a quick practice round with Shoji, a rundown with Bakugo about his quirk usage along with Midoriya and the rest of the class, their first class of the day was over. 

         The rest of the day went normal, and (Y/n) left to finish the rest of her lessons while Aizawa did the same. 

 --

         After a long week, you were more than happy to have the weekend to yourself, or so you thought. 

Incoming Call: Keigo <(‘v’)> 

“Keigo?”

 “Hey tiny, sorry to bother but I felt like I should call in and see how you were doing.” 

 “I’m fine, just getting ready to watch some movies and order take in. Had a long week. You?” 

 “Gonna be heading out to an event soon! Glad to hear you're doing good. Any luck with your crush on the office grandpa?”

 You roll your eyes as you wiggle yourself into more blankets, clicking through the different documentaries you could find on YouTube.

  “I don’t have a crush on Aizawa, and even IF I did he is NOT a grandpa. He would probably want someone closer to his age anyway. The whole life experience gap and everything.” 

 “Yeah okay, whatever. Don't get mad at me when you realize I’m right and you're missing out on not being single anymore.” 

 “You’ll be the first person I call when you’re actually right. ” “Ouch-” 

 “Pfft, talk to you later Kei. I have an hour long video about the origin of heroes and it’s calling my name.” 

 “Bye bye!” 

-

         No matter how relaxed you were or how interesting the documentary was, you couldn't get you know who out of your mind. Could you have a crush on Aizawa Shouta? Silver Fox hero of the night? Grumpy man who likes taking naps in the middle of the day? You couldn’t lie, he was attractive and his personality was more than pleasant to you at least. It always felt like something was there between you two..between late night talks and having lunch together sometimes. It felt like there was a connection, and the only thing keeping you two from connecting was a waterfall of hesitation and doubt. 

 “Whatever…”

--

         “WoooOO! Staff Party, this is gonna be a blast Listeners! Present Mic here to keep your evening thrilling with an amazing music selection!” 

         Upbeat music with minimal words played through the old speakers of a rented out ballroom. It was the end of the first semester staff party, everyone was dressed semi formal with their hair done nicely and makeup to match. The decorations were nice, and tables were laid out with food, drinks and chairs to relax and chat. 

         Aizawa was one of the first to show up since he and Yamada came together like usual. Although he socialized with other teachers as they passed by, he stayed closer to the walls and talked with Kayama most of the time. He was dressed fairly well, a simple fitted dark g suit coat with normal slacks. The usually wild and wavy mess of locks was neatly tied back into a very clean half knot that showed off his handsome face. 

         “No date Shouta? I was sure that pretty young thing would be with you tonight. (L/n) Right, she’s such a lovely girl.” Kayama’s hair was curled beautifully around her, a long fitted dress with a deep V cut showing off her lovely charm. Aizawa only rolled his eyes, sipping on his Champaign class to avoid talking even if it was just for a second more. 

         “It would make more sense for her to come in with someone closer to her age or with a friend. She is the youngest person on staff you know.” 

         “Age this age that blah blah BLAH. I know love when I see it-” 

         “Not love, this isn’t some romance film Nemuri.” 

         With a small and understanding smile, Nemuri reaches out to gently pat her dear friend's shoulder. “Someday, you’re going to realize that the things that are holding you back are nothing but a reflection of your own worries. I know you’ll figure it out. You both will. Now try to have fun-” Her attention was stolen away for a moment, a glint of excitement in her eyes clear as day. “If you’re worried about how she feels and how she’s doing, why don't you go show her around and make sure she feels welcomed?” 

         Turning around, the first thing Aizawa see’s is you. A cheesy thing to say, but he almost feels his heart skip a bit.  

         You wore a black turtleneck underneath a midnight blue spaghetti strap dress that fit you just right. Knitted knee high socks and stylish black heel boots finished off your look along with a beautiful pearl pendant necklace. Your hair looked soft and styled in a way he had never seen it before. Your eyes were done up just enough in a way that made them shine even more than they usually do.

         He’s trapped, and he is slowly realizing that he never wants to be set free. 

         When your eyes scan the room for anything familiar, they finally land on a set of eyes that are looking right back at you. You have to stop yourself from visibly gasping, why did his eyes feel so intense? What was he thinking as he made his way across the room to you. 

         Like Moses and the sea, everyone carefully parted to let you both have your moment. They all knew the chemistry between you too, and were more than happy to leave you  alone as they carried on with their conversations and laughter. 

         “You look beautiful.” His voice was low, and held a sense of hesitant tenderness even he was unsure of. You knew he meant it. 

         “And you look very handsome, you even shaved for the party.” With a small laugh you gently ran the back of your fingers across his shaved cheek. This wasn't new, you had done this exact touch multiple times before when you made fun of his stubble yet- it felt more intimate than it ever had before. Aizawa knew he didn't mind it. 

         Carefully sliding his hand into yours, he lifts it up to press a soft and long kiss to your knuckles. “It is a special occasion. Would you like to join me tonight?” He was never a man who cushioned his words, straight to the point and expressing just how he felt was never an issue. You were different. 

         Accepting his offer, you move to accept his offered arm. The night starts slow as you both walk around and chat with other faculty members you work with. With Aizawas help you were confident that you were able to make some new friends, maybe going to this party wasn't so bad after all.

         Everything else almost felt like a breeze. Laughs were shared, drinks were drank- and barriers were being broken down. You and Aizawa found yourselves slowly standing closer and closer together, close enough to where your fingers would brush against each other when one of you moved. All of Pro Hero Eraserhead’s friends could only watch with warm and excited smiles for him. 

         Like always, nights must always come to an end. 

         While some people left to retire for the night, others stayed longer to help clean or help more than drunk coworkers make it home safe. “I’m helping Nemuri make it home Sho! You gonna be okay making it back tonight?” Yamada had Nemuri balancing into his side, laughing as she drunkenly waved some of the others goodbye. “Oh! You all can head back home together if you’d like. I’m just helping clean a bit before I head back home.” you politely cut into their little chat, holding a medium sized black trash bag in your hands. 

         Taking a moment, Aizawa starts to shrug off his coat as he takes the garbage away from you. “I’ll stay behind to help clean. If you’re alright with it I can walk you home.” with wide eyes, the younger teacher could only nod before she turned away to hide her reddening cheeks to pick up more trash and plates. 

         “No worries, now get em TIGEr. RaaArW-” As Kayama tried to cheer her friend on, Yamada tugged her away with an amused laugh of his own. 

          Not even an hour later, everyone was out and the sky was as dark and it could be. The only stars you could see were the large ones as the light pollution shrouded out the smaller and weaker stars. 

         This time around, Aizawa's coat was wrapped around (y/n) shoulders, her head resting on him as they linked arms on the walk back to her house. Instead of splitting off halfway, he walks her all the way up to her front door. It was silent for a moment, the events from tonight silently washing over them. 

         “Thank you Aizawa, this...was a really nice night. I don't think it would have been as enjoyable as it was without you.” (y/n) broke the silence, turning to face and look up at the man she knew she would never look at the same again. Rubbing his mouth in thought, his eyes flicker between the young woman standing in front of him and the road. 

         “I want to thank you as well. I-.” He paused for a moment. 

         “I would like to kiss you, but I understand if you wouldn't. I think after tonight you know what my feelings are for you. I didn't even know about them fully until tonight. Kayama- Midnight was right. I was letting my worries hold me back when I should have been forward like I always am-”  

         Time freezes when he feels your hands pull down his face, your lips eagerly pressing into a kiss with such raw love and desperation. Instantly his arms move around to gently lift you up into him. One minute, two..three. You both only break apart for air and your warm breaths mingle against each other. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while now I think. My friend was right haha...maybe I do have a crush on you. I was just worried because I had no idea if you would even be interested in a relationship, let alone with someone as...young as me. I feel like a high schooler again haha.” 

         The fact that you were able to laugh the way you did and still hold him in your arms brought flutters to his chest. He knew now that he more than just saw you as a coworker or a close friend. He wants to be more. “I know what you mean. Who would want to be with someone as old as me? I would never want to make you feel like I was holding you back.” He would never admit it, but he felt like a young adult experiencing love for the first time...it was a bit embarrassing (in a good way.) 

         “You make me feel so helpless sometimes you know that?” pulling his head down again, (y/n) presses another soft kiss to Aizawa’s forehead. “What am I gonna do with you Aizawa?” 

         “Shouta.”

         “Huh?”

         “Shouta, call me Shouta if you want.” Thankful that it was dark out, he could feel himself heat up at the intimate suggestion. 

         With the way your eyes sparkled while you said his name, he knew he was hooked. There is no going back.          “What am I gonna do with you, Shouta?” 

         “You’ll figure it out eventually. I’ll help you along the way as long as you’ll help me too.” The shared silence was an unbroken promise to do the best you both can. 

         After sharing your final kiss good night, you watch Shouta walk down the street and out of view before returning into the comfort of your home. The jacket around your shoulders smelt strongly of the stoic man you now called yours. Enjoying the warmth and comfort his coat brought you, kicking off your boots you hop over your couch and settle into a comfortable position. 

 Calling: Keigo <(‘V’)>

 “WHY are you calling me at….2 in the MORNING. You gave me a damn heart attack-” 

 “You were right.” your voice was soft and held no regrets. 

 “Right? Right about what?” 

 “You were right, I did have feelings for Shouta. I said you would be the first person to call if you were right. And well, you were right.”          The next hour was spent catching your best friend up on everything that happened tonight. 

-

         On the other side of the story, Aizawa finally made it home and had no problem finding sleep that night. He felt as ease knowing that things weren't going to turn out as bad as he thought it originally was going to be. 

         He can't say it, not yet. 

         But he is in love. 

         And so are you.

[dancingazaleas]

Can you write a modern au Historia Reiss x fem!reader imagine where the reader is in a band and has a very punk rock style, and Historias the popular cheerleader everybody drools over, and they hate each other but at a party some girl is flirting with the reader so historia takes her and fucks the reader silly in a bathroom and after confesses her feelings to r?

historia reiss | promise

ofc!!! pls i literally love cheerleader!historia. i hope this is good enough <33 !!

18+ pls ! [unedited]

warnings/notes: cursing, use of alcohol and drugs, eventual smut, jealous dom!historia, modern au!, college au!, cheerleader!historia, bathroom sex, degradation, slight praise, enemies to lovers supremacy, fem reader!, finger fucking, hints at pegging, and aftercare

you’re pissed, so pissed that you’re seeing white. you only know that you’re sitting under the bleachers of your college campus and that your best friend, annie, is sitting beside you.

historia reiss, the popular cheerleader adored by everyone, decided it would funny if she pulled a prank on you. the prank being drenched in ice water and then pouring pink glitter on your body from the second floor of campus.

the glitter stuck everywhere, even in your mouth. before you scrubbed some of it off, you looked like a bath bomb. the water made it stickier and made you cold.

you don’t know what kind of vendetta historia has against you, you’ve only just met her two years ago! you hadn’t even really talked her up until your freshman year of college. even then, you don’t think you had said anything rude or wrong.

you just assume she gets pleasure out of your suffering.

you’re ranting about historia to annie, who witnessed the whole incident, still covered head-to-toe in glitter. she’s smoking a cigarette and listening to you absentmindedly, a sign that she’s getting slightly annoyed. she grabs your jaw with her hand and turns your face towards her. she’s taking in a breath and you know exactly what she’s about to do.

when she pulls the cigarette away, she blows the smoke into your face and let’s go of your jaw.

“thanks for that,” you grunt, the smell always seems to calm you down for some odd reason.

“y’know, instead of ranting, you could go home and take a shower,” she looks sleepy as she holds onto her cigarette.

“i know. but she’s just so frustrating! wanna know what makes her even more frustrating?!”

annie decides to play along, she thinks you ranting is funny, “what?”

“she’s hot. scratch that, she’s literally gorgeous. she looks like a fucking goddess and has the personality of a witch,” you shout angrily, following annie’s movements of getting up and walking towards your dorm.

“i dunno,” she snickers, “she’s pretty nice to me.”

“yeah, cause she’s got some sort of vendetta against me. i swear—i have never done a single thing to her!! do you remember when she bashed our band?! does she even listen to punk?!”

annie’s made a mistake in encouraging you, “anyways. speaking of our band, don’t forget we’re playing tonight at eren’s house.”

“you mean at his frat house,” you snort, bumping your shoulder into her’s. you immediately regret it when you pull away and see pink glitter stick to her shirt and a shiver going down her spine.

“yeah, whatever. thank god he’s loaded enough to pay for a band. i can’t believe his dad just gives him and zeke cash,” annie coughs while she chuckles, smoke puffing out of her nose.

you’re laughing at her coughing, slapping her firmly on the back as you walk.

you don’t notice large blue eyes staring at you from far away.

————

you’re trying to ignore the idiotic comments annie’s making while mikasa does your eyeliner.

you, mikasa, annie, and—surprisngly—jean are getting ready for your show tonight.

originally, it had just been you, annie, and mikasa until mikasa and jean had started dating. she vouched that he could play the drums—and he definelty could. he also gets along surprisingly well with you and annie.

mikasa usually sings back-up for you—despite your begging for her to be the lead—and plays the electric keyboard.

annie’s on bass guitar. she gets stupidly smug everytime she’s done playing and the praise she gets from her girlfriend doesn’t help. annie also writes most of your songs.

“guys, we should make a bet,” annie’s twirling some of her hair, eyeing you and mikasa.

“what’s the bet,” jean smirks and raises a bushy brow. mikasa and you give a hum of approval.

“i bet that one girl is gonna be all over (name) tonight,” you snort sarcastically.

“elizabeth? i think she’s trying to seduce me so i’ll partner up with her for this project we have coming up in our music history class,” mikasa’s pullled away, screwing the cap of the eyeliner back onto the bottle. she hands you coal black lipstick.

“you know what i bet,” jean starts, you know it isn’t gonna be good, “historia’s gonna be eyefucking (name) all night.”

you’re in the middle of applying lipstick but you stop at his statement.

“no, before you say something, jean’s gotta point,” mikasa muses, fanning her hand.

“yeah. dunno how you didn’t noticed,” annie shrugs, hopping out of her chair and stretching her arms upwards.

you’re irritated and finished with your lipstick, eyebrows furrowed bitterly.

“anyways,” you grit your teeth, “it’s showtime.”

————

it’s been five minutes since you and the band performed, and after all that belting you just want a drink. you’re walking through the messy and huge kitchen, trying to avoid stepping on spilled shots and egg yolk—who knows—because these boots were expensive.

luckily, most people are partying like a mob in the main room of the smelly frat house. it smells like weed, everywhere. and when you open the fridge you see a long platter of chocolate brownies, is eren alright? you shrug internally, snatching a water bottle that’s sitting on the top shelf.

after you’ve closed the fridge door and opened it, you’re chugging the water bottle like your life depends on it. when you pull away, you try to not notice the lipstick stain and that you’ve drank the bottle more than halfway. you’re leaning on the island in the middle of the kitchen, you don’t plan on partying too much since you’re supposed to be the designated driver for annie, mikasa, and jean.

you’re about to take another swig of your water, eyes staring down at your phone and continuing to read a article. before you can bring the bottle to your lips, teasing laughter from your front is distracting you.

it’s historia, wearing a baby blue v-neck tank top that ends at her ribs. she has a white skirt on, pulled up to the middle of her bellybutton and stopping at her upper thighs. her shoes are white and chunky with sparkly blue butterflies on the sides of them. her makeup’s cute, a light blue sprinkling on the outside corners of her eyes that tickled her cheekbones, a light and natural (for her at least) pink lipstick on her lips coated with shiny gloss. she’s pretty.

“fuck do you want,” you frown with narrowed eyes, you’re praying there aren’t anymore tricks.

“nothing, nothing!,” she’s got a cheery smile on her face, “just wanted to see how you were doing! i cant even do that?”

rolling your eyes, you scoff, “not after you drenched me in ice cold water and then poured glitter on me. it took me two hours to get rid of the glitter in the shower.”

she’s opening her mouth, but you’re already done with her shit, “fuck off, dude.”

you’re stomping out of the kitchen, huffing with frustration. what the fuck was historia trying to play at? she’s such a cunt, pulling these mean pranks on you with no provocation and then coming up to you after and asking how you are?

you’re seething. you’re so angry you’re not even paying attention to where you’re going.

but it’s interrupted when you bump into someone’s back. lower... back.

said person, turns around and looks down at you. she’s tall, and you’ve seen her around campus with eren and zeke. she’s quiet and cunning, you’ve heard rumors that she gets paid to beat people up sometimes. you can’t really judge her, money’s money.

but she’s also gorgeous. glowing gold eyes and choppy blonde hair. she’s wearing a loose black blazer that closes at her sternum and down, with nothing underneath. she’s got some kind of necklace—you think it says ‘p’ or ‘z’—and pretty silver rings on her fingers. her heels make her tower over you more than she probably would without them on.

“shit, my bad,” you sigh and look away.

she shakes her head, the tiniest smile painting her face and her cheeks turn a little red.

“you’re alright,” she hums, “i don’t think i’ve met you. i’ve definitely seen you around, but no one’s ever given me a name.”

“oh, i’m (name),” you smile shyly, “i don’t know your name either.”

she chuckles a bit, somehow wrapping her hand in your’s and leading you to a nice loveseat. her nails are painted black and you feel inclined to put your legs over her lap.

“i’m surprised,” and that’s when you notice zeke and pieck on the couch next to you, “there are a lot of rumors about me. however, i guess whoever told you—or didn’t—left me anonymous. i’m yelena.”

you give a laugh, watching her throw her arm up onto the top of the couch. you’re cuddling her side within seconds, drawing a deep chuckle from her. her other hand reaches to your cheek, making you look up at her. she’s holding your chin with her thumb and staring at you with her hypnotizing eyes.

“you’re just the cutest,” she mumbles, letting go of your face and tapping your nose.

you’re getting embarrassed at the attention, and you don’t know what to say other than ‘thank you’. you’ve never been pussy whipped a day in your entire life, but you think you might change that.

she’s leaning in closer, ignoring the couple, who was staring at you two with amusement, that sat on the couch cuddling. you feel like you recognize them for a moment, but the thought it forgotten whenever yelena kisses you fervently.

she’s running her tongue across your lip and the shiver that goes down your spine makes you realize she has a tongue piercing. she’s pushing you down to lay on the couch, to which you happily oblige, her hand crawling up to your neck.

before you can even let her shove her tongue in your mouth and choke you, your hand is being tugged and all of a sudden your upper torso and body is on the floor and your head is aching. you’re dazedly looking at yelena, who’s just as surprised as you are, then turning to the couple on the couch.

holy fucking hell, how did you not realize that the couple was pieck and zeke. that isn’t even your main focus when another tug to your wrist pulls your lower half off the couch.

“what the fuck?!” you’re suddenly not dazed anymore, “let go of me!”

you’re snatching your arm away and scrambling to your feet, tugging down your short dress that rode up. you turn around to face the assaulter, only to look down and see historia.

historia grabbed you?!

before you can even scream or slap her, she’s, once again, pulling you away by your wrist. for such a small girl, she’s got a tight grip.

you’re stumbling as you follow her, not like you couldn’t, yelling profanities. you pass by annie, who spits out her drink at the sight of you, it startles her girlfriend, hitch. you mouth a ‘help!’ towards her just as you’re swung forward.

it takes you a second to balance yourself out, and before you can turn yourself around, you’re being shoved forward.

what the fuck is her deal?!

you’re pushed into a bathroom, finally turning around to see historia as you fall on your ass. she’s slammed the door closed and locked it, staring at you on the ground.

“the fuck is your damage,” you scream, leaning against the bathroom counter.

“you’re a fucking slut, that’s what!” she’s yelling back, now standing in front of you. her hands are trapping you against the counter, and you’re looking down at her.

“you’re a dirty little slut. you can’t help but get down with a woman when i’m not with you for five fucking minutes,” you can’t even open your mouth and opted to push yourself towards the counter more as you squeeze your thighs together.

“look at you,” she’s laughing mockingly, “you look like a dog in heat. are you enjoying this, you fucking whore?”

you whimper, shaking your head side-to-side.

“you’re a liar,” she’s laughing again, standing on her tip toes to brush her lips against your’s.

“i’m not.”

“if you’re not, go ahead and push me away then,” she smirks, leaning closer.

you look away, listening to the mocking giggle that she was releasing right in your face. her left hand is grabbing you by the jaw and forcing you to look at her.

“can i kiss you,” her look softens and you nod at her.

“yes,” and within a second, her lips are on your’s. the kiss is surprisingly gentle and sweet.

with a bit on your lip, her tongue is rubbing against your’s and her hands sliding under the thin straps of your dress. you’re whining when she pulls away and laughs. your dress is halfway down your body, chest jumping up and down as you pant from the lack of breath.

“look at you, baby,” she turns your head to the side, which gives you a profile view of yourself in the mirror. your lipstick’s smudged in the corner of your mouth, eyeliner’s smuged as well as your eyeshadow.

weak product.

“you need better makeup,” she’s giggling as she leans her head towards your neck.

she’s kissing and sucking almost everywhere on your neck and chest, as if she were marking her property. moans are bouncing off the walls as her hands release your boobs from the strapless bra you’re wearing and sucking on your nipples. honestly, you’re glad it’s off. it’s been tiring having to pull it up everytime it slipped even just a bit.

you tug at her blonde hair when her small hand gropes one tit and her mouth bites at the other. she’s tugging the rest of your dress down with her free hand, and it pools around your boots. she goes back up to kiss your lips, laughing in your mouth as you struggle to kick off your boots. she’s kissing at your cheek and ear, tugging at the waistline of your fishnet tights.

“might wanna take these off too if you don’t want them ripped,” yelping when she bites at your earlobe.

“i...,” you’re catching your breath, “need help.”

she giggles while nodding, helping you shimmying the tights down to your knees.

“jump up on the counter, babe. it’ll make it easier for me,” you’re obident and jumping on the cool bathroom counter, it makes you shiver.

historia’s on her knees, shoes kicked off, and her fingers tickle your legs when she’s sliding the tights off your legs. she’s got a sultry look on her face when she throws said tights over her shoulder, palming your kneecaps. she bites back her smirk when she pulls your knees apart, showing off your black panties. you fall back against the mirror and you lean mostly on your elbows, ignoring the loud bang that came from it.

her mouth’s leaving open mouthed kisses against your inner thighs, pants leaving your mouth. her fingers hook around the waistband of your panties, tugging them down quickly whenever you lift your hips.

your going to close your legs, but her hands prevent you from doing so. her eyes are glued to your pussy, lips spread open and your wetness shining in the light. you’ve got a little hair on your pubis, but that isn’t going to stop historia reiss from changing her name to sasha braus.

she’s sucking at your clit and spreading your legs apart as far as she can. she pulls away from your pussy just for a second.

“keep your legs open,” she says, a thumb rubbing circles into your clit.

it’s lazy and it’s satisfying, but it’s not enough to make you cum. she knows that.

you’re letting out high pitched moans and fingers tangled in her golden locks as she eats you out like a man starved.

‘i wish i had realized that i’m gay sooner,’ you think as historia slowly slides her middle finger inside of you.

you’re throwing your head back against the mirror when she suddenly adds a second finger, claiming that you could take it since you’re a slut.

considering your wetness is dripping down your ass and onto the counter, you can’t really object the statement.

she’s curling her fingers inside you, mouth closed around your clit. your moans go up an octave when she finds the spongy part inside of you, thrusting her fingers in and out of you after she angles her digits.

“fuck!” you moan and start clawing at historia’s free arm, which is holding down your hips.

“h-historia...,” you pant, “gonna cum... pl..please let me cum.”

her laughter sends vibrations across your clit, and that’s what sends you over the edge. you’re crying out as historia helps you ride out your orgasm by slowing her fingers down and pulling away from your clit. historia’s admiring you while she wipes off your juices from her chin, a small smile adorning her lips.

your head is thrown back against the mirror—once again. eyes rolled back and mouth opened in a silent moan. the hand that was gripping at her arm is clenched in a fist that has your knuckles painted white. your toes are curled and your back is arching in the air.

she doesn’t pull her fingers out of you until your calm, letting you catch your breath before she does it all over again.

———

your legs are trembling as she helps you sit down on the toilet.

you know you look like a mess—historia’s been forcing you to watch yourself. the eyeliner and mascara you have on is now smeared and ran down your face since you cried. your lipstick is smeared up and down, worse than last time, and your hair is messed up and tangled from historia pulling on it.

historia’s squatting before you, looking for a rag to wet down and clean you up with.

“next cabinet over,” you breath, throwing your head back.

“you know who’s bathroom this is?”

“yeah, jean’s in this frat too. him and marco share it. this place is pretty nice when there isn’t a party going on,” you giggle, somehow this whole situation seems funny to you.

she’s running hot water over the rag she now has, staring at herself in the mirror. historia’s got hickeys on her neck too and teeth marks on shoulders. she’s got glittery blue on her cheek, must be her mascara.

she turns off the water and wrings it out. she walks over to you, nudging your legs open with her knee. you comply and absentmindedly reach for one of her hands to hold. she takes the offer, squatting in front of you and cleaning up the slightly dried cum and juices on your thighs and vagina.

you shiver and let out little whines and whimpers, still sensitive from the previous orgasms. historia was also still wearing something. something that you didn’t even know she had.

a fucking 6 inch strap on.

“by the way,” you start, “how’d you get your strap-on here?”

“i came to the house before eren started throwing the party. i brought a bag with me and just hid it in the empty cabinet. i think eren wanted to hook up with me and mentioned something about pegging. brought it in case,” she explains, small smile spreading across her face as she starts cleaning your face.

you start giggling again, the hand that wasn’t holding her hand weakly grabbing at her wrist.

“hisu... can i get a kiss,” you pucker your lips when she pulls away the rag from you. she flips the rag to a clean slide, rubbing herself in the same areas as she did for you.

historia holds your cheek and gives you the sweetest kiss you’ve ever had.

“i’m gonna take you back to mine and ymir’s place. you’re still in sub-space and you wobble instead of walk,” she says, squatting down again to help you get your panties on.

she’s able to get your dress on the lower half of your body, but you both realize there’s a fucking cum stain on the chest. historia gives you a jacket that was in her bag, zipping it halfway. the dress stayed sitting at your waist, you’re to tired to get it open even if you have a cover up.

she’s done cleaning everything up within ten minutes, including herself. she throws the rag in a hamper in the bathroom closet that had jean’s name written on it in sharpie.

she’s slipping the bag on her shoulder and helping you walk with the other one. when you walk out, ymir is leaning on the wall by the door with a smirk.

ymir squats down a bit, laughing at your shaky legs every time you took a step. historia and her manage to get you on ymir’s back. you fall asleep before you three can get to the car.

———

when you wake up, your whole lower body is sore. your eyelids feel heavy as you open them, coming to your senses. you recognize ‘dance moms’ playing in the background and historia eating cereal as she watches.

you groan lowly, and historia finally notices your consciousness.

“so...,” you yawn while you stretch your arms up into the air, “talk about last night?”

historia nods while she chews, “so basically, i was jealous that you were hooking up with another girl that wasn’t me.”

“but why would you be jealous...? i thought you hated me,” you rub your cheek against the pillow you’re laying your head on.

historia blushes as she looks away with a pout, “i never hated you... i just... i didn’t like the feelings i have for you.”

“oh,” you lay on your back and ignore the heat rushing to your cheeks, “what are.... the feelings..?”

“i may or may not love you,” she hides her face by holding her bowl full of cereal to her chin.

you don’t say anything for a few moments, trying to think of what you wanted to say.

“i... i love you too. but, that doesn’t just mean i forgive and forget all the horrible shit you’ve done to me. i’ll start dating you when i feel that you’ve... ‘atoned’ for your sins,” you sigh, “it’s gonna take some time but if you want this to work or even start, you’ve gotta make it up to me and understand where i’m coming from.”

she looks at you with slight excitement, “i... of course! i was really mean to you and you didn’t deserve that, no matter how much i disliked you. i promise to make it up to you.”

she’s holding her pinky finger up to you.

you smile and link your pinkies with her’s, “promise.”

[dangermousie]

Thank you for being supportive of the lead female character in Rebel Princess. I have been watching asian dramas , mostly Korean, for over 10+ years. I've noticed that when a lead female character is written as a realistic human being, people become upset and very critical. It's nice to come here and see that it's not only okay for a lead female character to be strong and independent minded, but can also have flaws without being vilified.

Awww, thank you!

I think that is a phenomenon in literally every fandom I have ever seen, sadly, not just drama one. (And as someone who hangs out in both English language and Russian language fandoms, not limited to American-centric spaces either.) Women characters tend in general to get held to much higher standards than male ones. I have never truly figured out why that is.

I think people can have reasoned out opinions as to why Awu doesn’t work for them now (or never did) and while I won’t agree, at least if someone put thought into it, it’s merely an agree to disagree “we interpret the story differently” situation. But so many places (youtube and viki comments, MDL, Soompi) tend to sum up all their issues with Awu or any other female character as, to be blunt, she does not worship at the shrine of the male character of their choice and that makes me see red.

Think of how many times you’ve seen criticism of the female lead (any female lead) for not loving ML enough, for not falling in line with his opinions and wishes, as if she’s not an independent person with her own past, her own goals, her own story and what she wants and needs and what informs her is not being a perfect love interest but her own life and her own experiences and her own existence. 

I mean, Xiao Qi is great. If I were a Holy Roman Empire elector, he’d get my vote for emperor. BUT! Awu is not obligated to say how high when he says jump (and he never says jump in the first place - one of the reasons I love him.) Criticisms of Awu I have seen (the ones that aren’t just of the “she’s annoying no I won’t explain why” variety) are that she loves her birth family too much and sides with them against her husband, she isn’t angry at character X or Y the way she should be, she is too passive, she doesn’t love XQ enough, etc. The last one is absurd (if she doesn’t love him enough, I am not sure what counts as enough), but even the rest of them just fault her for not being absolutely perfect but being human.

Yes, one of Awu’s flaws is holding on to her family when they are not worthy. It is a flaw, probably her biggest one. The sole time we’ve seen her be vicious to Xiao Qi was over her helping her cousin - when she told him he doesn’t know what family is because he’s never had anybody - ouch! Bringing a gun to a pillow fight is what it was, and clearly she went against the rule that you don’t use this kind of a nuke in a minor fight - there are things you just don’t say, especially since this very private person revealed it to you himself earlier, gave you his vulnerability to help with yours. But it is not only a consistent flaw and character trait (it didn’t just pop up!), it makes complete sense for a woman who grew up in an unusually close and warm to her family (remember her idyllic household? her parents and aunt and uncle and brother doting on her? the family didn’t even have concubines/half siblings for scheming to make childhood less idyllic), not to mention in the society where familial ties and clan ties are the most important, the most essential. Remember how dedicated the Dowager is to the Wangs v Xies etc. And when you add in Awu’s strong, loving, loyal heart, of course you get someone loyal to her birth family even when she herself acknowledges they don’t deserve it. But honestly, while it may have been a flaw vis-a-vis her cousin, I don’t even think it’s a flaw here. What kind of weird person would be OK with her husband going head to head with her father and brother (or even further extended family) and not try to prevent it? Xiao Qi may be the person she loves most but he is not the SOLE person she loves. It may be naive of her, but so very human, to hope the situation can be resolved without blood-shed or hurt on either side (side note - does anyone really doubt that if push came to shove with immediate threat to XQ’s life versus Zitan’s or similar she wouldn’t pick the former? But how can she pick between e.g. her husband and her father?)

As to anger against various people such as Zitan, Cousin, Helan Zhen - Awu cuts people out of her heart or never puts them there and she is unflinching, but she has always been a quiet reserved person who doesn’t shout, doesn’t do theatrical gestures (burning the paper with cousin is the closest she’s got.) Her anger has always been cold. She processes hate the same way she processes disappointment, the same way she processes grief - she locks herself behind emotional walls, behind silence. It’s all about repression. She and Xiao Qi are actually very similar in that. If one faults her for steely, quiet character, one might as well fault Xiao Qi for the same.

With regard to passivity, Awu plays to her strengths - which is bravery and will (remember the siege?) but she will never be a warrior like Hu Yao. I love having a period FL who does not know how to sword fight, who embroiders, who loves luxury and clothes and is not looked down by the story for it. She is calm and even still, but how can one call a woman weak who survived what she did, who dealt the way she did with her kidnapping(s), with the siege, with capital games, with Xiao Qi’s supposed death and then his not-supposed rebellion, the way she has?

Finally, yes Awu is flawed. But so is Xiao Qi (remember the contraception thing? One of both of their biggest flaws is withholding information) but hey, this is what makes them real and not boring pattern-cards of perfection.

[karasimpno]

{Day 06} - If I Loved You | Ushijima x Reader

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x Gn!Reader

Genre: fluff, tender Ushi-Waka meet-cute!!

WC: 2.1k

Warnings: drinking, mention of a frat party, discussions of L O V E

⍋⋆*❅｡. 25 days of fic-mas mlist .｡❅*⋆⍋

If I loved you words wouldn’t come in an easy way ‘round in circles I’d go —If I Loved You; Carousel (music by Richard Rodgers and lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein)

It was a raucous party at the end of your senior year of college and you hardly knew anyone there.

You’d had a sweet mixed drink with barely any alcohol in it while your roommates who had dragged you to the party and everyone around you was hammering back shot after shot. There was a kitchen island full of booze and someone who had started bartending to boot, collecting an impressive jar of dollar bills as he did so. Downing the rest of your drink, you decided to take a step outside – it was only 10pm and you were already sort of itching to leave.

Closing the front door behind you, you stepped out onto the porch, audibly sighing before you realized: you weren’t alone. 

Sitting toward the bottom of the porch stairs sat a hulking man with shaggy chocolate hair, his back to you. You cleared your throat and he glanced back at you with dark eyes deep-set into his severe features.

“Mind if I sit?” you asked. His eyebrows shot up a little but he gestured vaguely welcomingly at the steps next to him. You smiled and sat on the opposite side of the stairs, even with him, grateful for the cool nighttime air and the break from inside. As you were getting settled, you glimpsed his toned golden skin and distinctively sharp features and realized you recognize the man.

“Hey...you’re Ushi-Waka, right?” you asked. “I’ve seen a couple of the volleyball games.” He peered at you curiously.

“Yeah. Who are you?” he asked, not unkindly. His voice was startlingly deep. You answered him with your name and smiled, taking in the nice spring evening when he responds with silence. Not looking to get involved with anyone new at the end of your college career, you internally berated yourself when you caught your gaze sneaking over to how his hair swept across his forehead, making him look all too casually dashing. His eyes remained focused on the road past the gate to the frat house. Feeling friendly, you decided to try to strike up a conversation.

“You’re really good at volleyball! Your spikes are like...killer,” you offered. He glanced back at you again, as though he were trying to read you.

“Hope you’re not...scared or anything,” he said awkwardly. You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not – he looked pretty serious. His hulking frame stretched over the wooden stairs, exposed calves leaving no muscle to the imagination. You could see why some people might find that intimidating but it did nothing but favors for him in your eyes. You decided it was a joke and playfully turned out one of your pockets.

“Well I’m broke as a joke so what’re you gonna do – steal something from me?” you laughed. “And aside from that, I can take pretty good care of myself.” Despite the rigid features of his face, his eyes on yours were a warm golden color. He didn’t laugh, but continued to look at you. The two of you leaned apart to let someone walk up the front steps between you, the noise of the party surging then becoming muted again as the front door opened and closed with a slam. Maybe it was the sweet drink you had just finished, but the night was nice and you were in a better mood than you were inside, so you took a whim.

“Hey, you wanna get out of here?” you said suddenly. He cleared his throat, a bit too loudly.

“Wait you mean like... uh,” he said, his face faltering a bit.

“Oh! No – no like do you wanna go for a walk or something,” you assured him, blushing a little. “It’s nice out and the party’s loud.” Ushijima had a funny feeling about you. You reminded him a bit of his friend who brought him here, Tendou, with your openness. Normally he’d be hesitant to leave him at a party, but something about your warmth convinced him to take you up on the offer.

“Sure,” he said evenly, rising to his feet, pushing his hands into his pockets. Despite yourself, you found your breath catching when you saw him at his full stature. Even when you stood, you had to lift your chin to meet his eyes. The two of you walked haltingly away from the front door, silently turning down the residential streets toward a park you knew of. He felt like the contradiction of some mighty Greek god, sculpted in intimidating power yet walking almost awkwardly beside you. You made small talk, exchanging your majors, where you were from, and post-graduation plans. His eyes stayed focused on the sidewalk, treating you to a good view of his strong profile. You noted how handsome his slightly-upturned nose was and instantly told your subconscious to shut up with its unhelpful observations. His every step was graceful and controlled.

There was a moment of silence, only broken by the occasional brush of wind through blooming trees overhead. He cleared his throat.

“So...have you ever been in love?” he asked. You nearly snorted, a sharp exhale pushing out of your nose and the corners of your lips quirking upwards. You glanced at his face, biting back a smile, but when you saw his unchanged, stoic expression, you decided he must surely just have the driest sense of humor of anyone you’d ever met.

“No,” you laughed. “I’ve never been in love. I’m not the marrying kind so I can’t just go falling in love with anyone,” you teased. Unexpectedly, you caught a glint in his narrowed eyes which darted over to yours.

“So if I said I’d marry you, you wouldn’t marry someone like me?” he challenged.

“Sure I would. If I loved you, it wouldn’t make any difference what you....” you trailed off, your brows furrowing. Was he being serious? First the comment about being scared of him, then talking about “someone like him”...he seemed like the kind of man to take pride in his physicality. Based on the way you’d seen him play, in fact, you would bet on it. But had someone made him feel different or weird? You felt your heart softening a little towards him.

“How do you know what you’d do if you loved me? How you’d feel?... Anything?” his voice had a soft lilt to it but his face remained impassive as he side-eyed you.

“I don’t know,” you laughed at the bizarre interrogation, but decided to play along. “But I know...it would distract me constantly!” you said mischievously, playfully frustrated. “I couldn’t get a thing done and I’d just sit staring into space, being so in love with you,” you mused, a half-smile on your face at the idea.

“But you aren’t,” Ushijima poked, seemingly serious. You met his eyes.

“No. I just know how I’d be,” you admitted, the playfulness seeping away from your voice as you grew more thoughtful. You’d thought about the idea of being in love tons of times. As much of a hassle as it seemed, you also had to admit you loved the idea of it. You exhaled, suddenly pensive, drawn away by the idea.

“If I loved you, I wouldn’t know how to tell you, that’s for sure. I couldn’t find the words...and I’d try to tell you, but I’d be afraid...and shy,” you seemed to catch Ushijima’s attention at this. Your eyes met again for a brief moment before you jerked your focus away, turning your gaze to the cherry trees framing the park the two of you were entering. You cleared your throat, letting levity slip back into your voice with a smile.

“But I’d let you slip through my fingers and then you’d leave!” you said with a dramatic sigh. “Neeever knowing how. I. felt,” you sing-songed, teasing him. “If I loved you, that is.” You playfully nudged Ushijima with your elbow, inhaling deeply. The two of you walked in silence for a moment.

“The cherry blossoms sure are beautiful,” you remarked quietly when he had nothing to say to your hypothetical. “You can smell them in the wind.” He blinked.

“There’s not much wind tonight,” he observed. You furrowed your brows at him then glanced around. He was right, any breeze that had blown by earlier had died down and the air felt almost stagnant.

“You can’t feel or hear much of anything tonight,” he said, in what you would almost call a somber tone. “But I like it. It makes you feel kind of...small,” he mused quietly. You looked at him. He was wrapped up in his own thoughts and it was, you hated to acknowledge it, rather beautiful to watch his brow work through the idea. “When I was younger, sometimes on nights like these, my dad would take me out on our rooftop and we’d look at all the stars.” He glanced up, thoughtful. After a moment, the two of you slowed to a stop, your eyes still trained on his strong features as he gazed at the sky. His irises flicked down and quickly over to yours and you were suddenly aware that you had been staring. You swallowed and looked away at the cherry blossoms.

“I sorta wonder...” he trailed off, then let out a soft laugh at himself. You snapped your head towards his, amused. It was the first time you’d actually heard him laugh that evening, soft though it was. It was sweet. “Nah...” he said with the gentlest smile, and walked over to a park bench.

“What?” you asked, his smile contagious. You followed him and took a seat on the opposite site of the bench, tucking your legs underneath you.

“Nothing. I mean, if I loved you.... God I can just see it. I’d be all weak and reserved. I’d be too shy to tell you either but... I’d be whipped for you,” he was teasing now, you could tell. You could begin to see the glint of his teeth behind his lips. He wasn’t exactly what you would call a flirt, but the idea had sparked his interest. He was hard to read but you found you were enjoying unlocking the puzzle.

You swallowed, suppressing an involuntary smile at the idea of Ushijima Wakatoshi being whipped for you.

“But you aren’t!” you interjected, as he had so diligently reminded you in your musings.

“No, I’m not.” His soft smile shot through you and you quickly reminded yourself that you were just flirting, passing the time on the night of a boring frat party, nothing more. In a few minutes, you’d be heading back to the party and dragging your drunk friends home. His eyes lingered on yours just a moment before returning to the sky. There was a pause and you could swear you heard him sigh.

“But I know what you mean. I can see what I’d be like, if I loved you. The words, the timing would never be right. Even if I was dying to tell you how I felt, I’d be too nervous,” he had returned to his pensive default. “You’d lose interest and never even know that I loved you,” he trailed off. Silence. “Hypothetically, of course,” he added. You found that you weren’t smiling anymore, simply thinking of the idea and watching his gears turn.

“But I don’t plan on marrying either,” he said, his voice gaining a harsher, rushed edge. “My career comes first.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you said absently, your gaze returning to the trees around the park as a funny feeling settled in your chest. It was a nice evening. And here you sat, with a man you’d just met, talking about love. It was one of those special moments where the lateness of the hour just made people say things with a certain reverence and weight that they wouldn’t have over casual lunch. He was leaning against the back of the bench, his hand resting out to his side. You noted the distance between yours and his and wondered if they had been that close before.

“You were right,” you started and his gaze shifted to your face, “about there not being a lot of wind tonight. The blossoms are just falling by themselves,” you said, watching them float to the ground. Suddenly, you felt the outside of Ushijima’s little finger come to rest against the outside of yours. You glanced down, then your eyes tracked up to his, which were already on your face, molten gold and almost afraid-looking, despite their ferocity.

“Just their time to, I guess,” you exhaled.

A/n: PLEASE go listen to the Jesse Mueller and Joshua Henry’s recording of this here!!!! This song makes my heart swell and I never thought I’d draw out this side of ushi like this - I’ve never gotten softer towards a character bc of my own writing before but now ushi just stays on my mind 🥺

Taglist: @izagraceee​ @musicgetsmeoutofbed​ @azo-musxas​ @tsumurai

[nightshade-minho]

-Nightmare- (12)

Warnings: mentions of domestic abuse, alcohol, violence is alluded to.

Wc: 3.8k

(Note: The song Y/n plays on her guitar is Sweet Night by V. I highly recommend listening to it for added ~feels~)

(Also- I can’t English hhhh. I apologize for the grammatical mistakes I make sometimes~)

Minho was woken up by your squirming. He looked down at you, eyes scrunched and frowning as you clutched his shirt tightly, and realized you were having another nightmare.

“Y/n...” He hesitated, kissing the top of your head and stroking it. “Shh, it’s okay...” He hugged you tighter, gently squeezing your shoulder. You opened your eyes as he did so, sweating and blinking rapidly, looking up at him with a confused expression.

“How did we...Where’s J-” You squinted, sitting up and slightly pulling away from Minho as you heard the doorbell ring.

“Fuck, it’s Juyeon...” You glanced at Minho, making a sound of frustration as you stood up.

“Oh. Why’s he here now...? Oh wait, never mind, I forgot.” He grimaced, sitting up a little and moving the blanket to the side. 

“Maybe you should go hide or something...”

“Why the fuck should I hide? It’s not like you cheated on him with me or anything. Besides, need I remind you that this is my apartment as well?”

“So...you’re staying here?”

“Yup. I’ll get my things from Chan’s again. I obviously wasn’t planning on staying at Chan’s forever.”

You sighed. “Right.” You walked over to the door, running your hands through your hair and opening it.

“Baby!” He grinned widely, quickly pulling you in his arms.

“J-juyeon...can’t breathe-”

You giggled as he let you go, hesitating before kissing your cheek and walking in.

“Told you I’d be back early morn-” He stopped, frowning as he saw Minho on the couch, scrolling through his phone lazily. 

“Why’s he here?” He asked, his voice calm.

“Dude. I live here.” Minho rolled his eyes, not looking up from his phone.

“Yeah, but I thought...”

“Y/n and I made up yesterday. Congratulations, by the way! Treat her well, or else.”

Juyeon rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath. “That’s rich, coming from you.”

You looked between the two, stuttering as you excused yourself, going to your room to brush your teeth.

Minho waited for you to leave before glaring at the man. “I heard that.” He sneered.

“Good.”

There was a silence for a while as Minho sighed, remembering what he’d promised himself yesterday. He set his phone down. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Juyeon raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

“I don’t know, everything. I’m trying to make myself a better person...and I wanna acknowledge that I’ve hurt people.”

“That’s...nice of you. Why, though?”

“Well...” he trailed off, groaning as he gripped his thigh tighter. “I just want to...I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.”

“Yeah well, I just want to tell you something. Apologies are nice and all, but Y/n’s mine now, okay? You living here again is fine, but...I didn’t spend all this time pining after her to lose her to an asshole like you. So don’t even try taking her from me.” He snapped.

Minho scoffed, laughing. “What makes you think I would want to do that?”

“Chan told me you’re in love with her.”

Fuck. 

“He did? Huh. Well it’s a lie. I don’t have feelings for her, she’s just my best friend and roommate.”

“Okay. If you say so. I saw the way you ran after her that night, though. I mean, if you didn’t care, or had zero feelings, you wouldn’t have done that.”

“Are you dumb? Of course I....care about her. You can’t be best friends with someone for sixteen years and not care about them.”

“Yeah okay, whatever.”

He groaned. “Look, Juyeon, I don’t want to have any tension between us. For real, I’m not trying to steal your girl.” God, that hurt to say. “Look, if you’re going to be my best friend’s boyfriend, we should get along. I assume you’re going to come over a lot, so...we need to be civil to each other, okay? For her.”

He nodded. “Yeah, sure. For her.” He said, just as you finished getting ready, returning to the living room.

Juyeon’s frown quickly melted into a smile as he turned from Minho to you, standing up and holding his hand out. You took his hand, glancing at Minho’s neutral expression.

“Hey, if you wanted to walk with us, we don’t mind...”

He rolled his eyes. “Nah, it’s okay. You go ahead. My classes don’t start until later, anyway.”

“Okay.” You gave him a smile which he reciprocated, waving to him as you left.

Minho sighed, smile dropping instantly as the door closed, getting up to go to his room. God, he missed it. He pulled off his shirt, hating the way your scent was still clinging to it. Collapsing onto his bed, he clutched at the bed sheets tightly, trying to control and retain all the burning anger and dejection he was feeling. His heart had been twisting when he’d seen Juyeon hold your hand...and you laughing as he kissed your cheek. 

It had barely been a day, and the green-eyed monster inside him was already on a rampage, making him breathe shakily as he tried to banish the thoughts. 

He didn’t know if he could do this for much longer.

***

Minho was envious and possessive. He couldn’t deny that he had those traits in abundance.

He’d been possessive ever since the two of you were young. Seeing you talk and get friendly with people who weren’t him always made him queasy...sometimes, he’d even go to the extent of purposely sabotaging your other friendships. He stopped doing that when middle school started, but try as hard as he could, he never did get rid of that feeling of ardent jealousy.

He was afraid that one day, you would finally realize that he wasn’t good enough for you. For anyone. His father constantly reminded him of that fact, after all.

He really didn’t want you to leave him.

When he first met you, he was entranced with your wide, innocent eyes and the way you looked so happy and pure. Despite being so young, Minho didn’t have an ounce of innocence left in him. He’d been forced to grow up all too fast...

Minho saw in you the kind of person he wanted himself to be. He liked coming over to your house, too. Your family was always so sweet and accommodating...the complete opposite of his. The more time he spent with you, the less he dwelled on his own fucked up life.

He liked all the sleepovers, especially. He would sleep at the foot of your bed in a sleeping bag, the two of you still talking late into the night. The first time he’d stayed the night at your house, he’d fallen asleep quickly for the first time in his life. Your soft snoring had calmed him, a welcome change from the sounds of glass breaking, the angry shouts that he’d gotten used to back home. 

Sometimes, you’d dangle your arm off the side of the bed and he’d hold it, the feeling of your warm hand in his making him even calmer. 

Your bedroom was where you hung out until middle school started. After that, the two of you found another place to call your own, a place that was special to the two of you.

You were the one who’d discovered it, one day before school as you waited for Minho to come pick you up from your house, so the two of you could walk together to school. He’d been taking slightly longer than usual this time, so you decided to take a walk to the lake near your house. There had been a few water poppies you’d spotted last time you were there, and you wanted to pick some.

You squinted at the grass near the lake, frowning as you couldn’t find any that weren’t smushed- a dog must have trampled all over them. You walked along the length of the lake, trying to find ones that were intact, when you noticed the big willow tree that was right across the bend. 

You were surprised, because you hadn’t seen such a big tree before- but then neither had you walked this far.

When you walked back, Minho had a worried expression on your face as he saw you.

“There you are! Oh god, i was going to call your mom-”

“Come on, I wanna show you something!” You grabbed his hand, not caring that you were late as you tugged him along, taking you to the grassy area, and pointing at the big tree.

“Wow, it’s so beautiful...”

“It really is, isn’t it?”

Since then, you met there every day after school, under the shade of the tree. It became your little haven, a place where you told each other secrets, and laughed at things your fellow students would do.

One day though, as you laid your head on Minho’s thigh, your hands occupied with making a daisy chain, he sighed, voice shaky as he spoke.

“Sometimes, I feel like I’m going to end up like my father.”

You looked up at that, frowning at him.

“You won’t. You’re a good person, Minho.”

“I don’t know. It’s in my genes after all, isn’t it?”

“People aren’t always exactly like their parents. Don’t put yourself down. You, Lee Minho, are amazeballs.”

He giggled, pinching your nose and cringing at the 13 year old lingo. 

“Amazeballs?”

You laughed. “Shut up. You know what I mean. Kind, cool, strong, funny...”

His gaze softened as he looked down at you. “You think so?”

“Yeah.” You sat up, facing him and taking his hand in yours. “I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through. I won’t pretend to understand. From what you’ve told me though, I know you’re nothing like him. You’ve always been there for me, Minho, always been someone I can lean on.”

He sighed, nodding. “Yeah. But that’s only because you’re my best friend. I’m not this nice to others. You know that.”

“Not everyone can be nice all the time, you know? That sounds tiring. And to be honest, not every one deserves people being nice to them.”

“That’s true...how do you do this? Manage to cheer me up, always? You’re so...perfect.”

“Me? Perfect? Shut up. You know I’m far from it, Minho.”

“To me, you are.”

You stuck your tongue out at the cheesy comment, erupting into a fit of giggles as Minho pulled you close, his hands tickling your sides.

He finally stopped after multiple protests from you, smiling down at your breathless form. 

You hummed. “I know you can’t really call the place you live home...so can we be each other’s home?”

His smile grew wider.

“Yes, we can.”

You made him feel special, worthwhile. You saw the good in him that he couldn’t see, no matter how hard he tried. 

A while after he graduated from high school though, he came home one day to an empty house. A few minutes later, he received a call from the hospital that his mother had been admitted under critical care and that his father was being detained by the police.

He realized you were wrong. He definitely wasn’t any of those fucking things you said he was. He wasn’t there for his mother when she needed him. He’d let that monster act according to his wishes. 

He slowly decided to stop caring. His college life would be different from the one he’d led so far. After all, what was the point in trying? People don’t change. Being vulnerable never ended up getting you anywhere, and his own home life was evidence enough. You wouldn’t have wanted him to give up, but he always knew he’d let you down sooner or later.

***

When Minho woke up, he noticed it was already dark. It was about 6:00. He’d missed his classes, but he didn’t really care.

He sighed and slipped off the bed, rubbing his eyes as he pushed open his door.

You were sitting on the sofa, humming as you mindlessly strummed your guitar like you usually did, whenever you were nervous or sad.

He came forward, sitting on the couch with some distance between you. You looked up as you saw him, giving him a small smile. “I thought you still weren’t back.”

“I slept all day...missed my classes.”

You nodded, turning back to your guitar.

“Where is he?”

“Juyeon? He left a while ago. He had plans.” 

“Ah.”

There was more silence as Minho thought of what to say next, leaning back and watching you as you slowly started playing a small tune that sounded familiar, but one which he couldn’t quite place. Your humming slowly turned into singing, softly pronouncing each word.

Minho felt his heart pounding as he closed his eyes like he always did when you sang, preferring to focus on your voice without any distractions. As the song came to a close, he realized he head tears pricking his eyes. The lyrics hit too close to home.

He opened his eyes, staring at you. “Did...did you write that song?” He asked slowly.

“No...I really like it, though...”

“Yeah, m-me too.” He gulped.

He couldn’t take it anymore. Every part of him was screaming, telling him to man up and confess already. You’d confirmed that you didn’t reciprocate his feelings, but he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. If he didn’t say anything, he would burst.

“Y/n, I...”

You looked up at him. “Hm?”

“I...”

It was so hard. Why was it so hard to just spit out those words? He felt so frustrated with himself.

He shifted closer to you. Maybe if he couldn’t say it...he could show it instead.

Your eyes widened as he came closer, his eyes wet as he gently touched your cheek, leaning in further.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Shh...”

His lips brushed against yours. You felt sparks shooting through you despite the minimal touch, warning signals going off in your brain.

You pushed him away before he could deepen the kiss any further, feeling so utterly heartbroken that you could barely breathe.

“Stop- just s-stop.” You cried, rubbing at your eyes and standing up, glaring down at him. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

He frowned, confused. “I...I was just trying to-”

“Shut up. I’m so sick of you. Why are you doing this to me? Why do you keep trying to kiss me, why do you look at me like....like that sometimes? I don’t understand how you feel about me, I don’t know if you even think before doing shit like this-”

“Y/n, it’s not-”

“No. Please. Stop talking. Stop the excuses. Do you care about me? What do you feel? Cause I don’t understand.” You scoffed shakily, running a hand through your hair and staring at the ceiling. 

“We had sex. Was there really nothing behind it? Was I just another girl for your fucking bed? Or do you...do you feel anything for me?” 

You swallowed, looking at his dumbstruck face and panting.

He stayed silent, his face passive as he took in your words. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Answer me...please, Minho. I’m...I’m begging you.” 

He swallowed, his hands folded in his lap.

Come on Minho. This is your chance.

“Well?”

I’m in love with you.

I think I always have been.

Please don’t leave me.

He stayed silent. 

You scoffed. “That’s what I thought.”

Glaring at him, you left for your room and slammed the door behind you. 

***

You lay in your bed, fingers playing with your hair-tie as you lost yourself in your thoughts. God, love was a shitty feeling. All the movies and books described it as something beautiful, tender and soft.

In reality, love was painful. It felt like needles were poking your heart every time you saw his face, remembering all the happy memories you’d made with him. Memories that were now tainted. 

You picked up your phone as it rang, sighing as you realized who it was.

“Hi.”

“Hello, baby! I’m so sorry I couldn’t call earlier. I have a night shift so I’ll be late, but I hope today I can finally stay over?”

“Um, yeah, sure.”

“Yay! We can have our own little sleepover.”

You laughed softly, rubbing the remaining tears away and sitting up a little. “Okay. I’m looking forward to it!”

“Hehe, see you later, sweetheart.”

You sighed and let the phone fall from your hands as you slipped further down the bed, smushing your face in the pillow and trying to get a moment’s peace. You got rid of all the thoughts in your head, choosing to replace them with emptiness for a while.

***

A few hours later you were woken up with a gentle shove. You opened your eyes sleepily, turning around and smiling. 

“Ah. You’re here.”

“Uh huh. You okay?” Juyeon frowned, taking note of the dried tear stains on your face. You nodded, blinking as you sat up. “I’m fine.”

“Good.” He held up his laptop, smiling widely and getting into the bed next to you.

“I’ve downloaded a bunch of movies for us to watch together.”

“Ah.” You mumbled, smiling slowly and yawning. “That’s nice.”

He sighed, seeing your expression and putting the laptop aside. “You seem sleepy. I’m fine with cuddling. Scoot~”

He moved you to the side a little bit and pulled you against him, stroking your hair and smiling.

You felt a feeling of profound guilt, his face so innocent and caring that the disdain you felt for yourself grew. Why were you so caught up on the emotionally tone-deaf asshole in the other room when you had someone right here who actually cared about you?

Because you and Minho have been through so much together. You were there for each other when no one else was. No matter how hard you try, you would never get over him, would never get rid of the fact that all the two of you really knew was each other.

Juyeon watched as your expression darkened, his fingers pausing, drifting down from your hair and cupping your cheek, just like Minho had done a few hours ago. 

He leaned in, his lips slightly open.

No. You couldn’t do it. This was wrong.

You stopped him, your hand over his mouth as you closed your eyes, not wanting to see his hurt expression. 

“I’m...s-sorry.” You whispered, sniffing. 

“I can’t string you along like this anymore. I’ve never really been a good person...and I’m still not. But I can’t do this to you. Can’t stay with you when I know I can’t return the love you give me. I don’t deserve it.”

“Open your eyes, Y/n.”

You slowly peeled them open, breath hitching as you looked at him.

“I knew.” He pulled away, sighing and sitting up on the bed. “I know you don’t like me. I know you only got together with me to prove something. I guess I fooled myself into thinking one day you might actually fall for me, if I could prove to you what a nice boyfriend I could be...” He glanced at your distressed expression.

“Look, it’s okay. Don’t put yourself down like that. I just...I wanna know why.”

“Well,-”

“Is it because you love him?”

Your eyes widened as you sat up, facing him. “Um, who-”

He shook his head, chuckling. “I should have seen it coming. You know who I’m talking about. Now, tell me. It’s the least you can do.”

You gulped, nodding after a moment’s thought.

“Hmm. Knew it.” He stood up, grabbing his laptop and glancing back at you. 

“I’ll leave, then. I don’t mind staying friends, though.”

“Yeah, I don’t, either.”

He smiled, walking out of your room and to the front door. He passed Minho sprawled out on the couch, glassy stare directed at the Tv that was playing a random infomercial on repeat.

“Hey, bro?”

Minho ignored him.

Juyeon let out a wry laugh. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

Minho sighed, tearing his eyes away from the screen. “What do you want?” He snapped.

“Nothing, I just wanted to say you’re an idiot.”

“Ah well, I kinda knew that.”

“No, seriously. You don’t know how lucky you are.”

Minho frowned up at him. “What do you mean?”

He shook his head, making his way to the front door, turning around as he opened it. 

“I’m just saying...seize the opportunity when you have it. You never know when you might lose it.”

“What the fuck are you going on about, dude?”

Juyeon rolled his eyes, flipping him off before leaving.

Minho watched him go, frowning as he glanced at your still shut door. Why’d he leave as soon as he came in?

He wondered if he should check on you. It was probably a bad idea, considering the way you’d blown up at him earlier...

He stood up, going to your door and raising his hand to knock, hesitating. He could hear soft sniffling sounds coming from inside that made his heart break. But seeing him might just hurt you even more...

He sighed, dropping his hand. At the end of the day, he was just a coward. 

He went to his room, sitting down at the table and grabbing a piece of paper. If it was so hard to say those words, maybe he could just write them?

He wrote a small paragraph, before shaking his head and crumpling it up into a ball, throwing it on the floor. About half an hour passed by, and he’d made no progress except for increasing the pile of paper balls on the floor.

He threw his head back, groaning. How do people even do this...

You’ve never had problems like this before. Why are you being such a pussy now, when it really matters?

He chuckled, rubbing his forehead and sneering at the voice in his head.

It isn’t that easy. What if I lose her when I do confess? What if she freaks out, pushes me away completely? I can’t afford to lose her.

Well, if you continue being an asshole like this, you truly will lose her.

He made a sound of frustration, slapping his head as he got out of his chair, thinking about what Juyeon had told him. 

Did it mean what he think he did?

He didn’t want to get his hopes up. He paced the room, running his hands through his hair and trying to figure out what to do. 

If he confessed to you now, it would definitely fall flat. He needed to do something that made it clear that he meant what he said. That he wasn’t joking around, that he was serious. He’d never been so serious in his life, in fact.

There was a possibility he would lose you after this...and the existence of it frightened him. But if being away from him was best for you...he’d gladly stay away.

He opened the door to his room, making sure your door was still closed before dialling Chan for help to set his plan up, leaving the apartment. 

[rainbowsky]

Final round-up of fan fic asks

I've gotten a few more interesting responses to the fan fic discussion so I'm going to round them all up here. This will be my final post on the topic until/unless there's a dramatic new development, or a particularly notable response I want to highlight. Thanks to everyone who brought their thoughts and experiences to the topic. I hope everyone at least feels heard.

The biggest piece of advice that I would like to offer is for everyone to focus on what they love rather than what they hate. If we all did that, the world would be a better place. Alongside that, I'd like to remind everyone to please support authors whose work you like. It's so important. Give them a kudos, give them a nice comment, recommend their work to others. You never know what kind of grief and harassment they are dealing with to bring you these great stories, and our support means a lot.

This is in reference to previous posts here and here.

Anonymous asked:

With regard to fandom and fan fic issue, my years of experience being part of very large fandoms has led me to believe that big accounts are v important in facilitating and enforcing the general consensus of the whole fandom. Unless there will be big accs who'll remind everyone of being respectful & just not being a dick over other's preferences, nothing will change.

This is also the reason why I think certain solo fandoms have adapted weird and twisted narratives as their general fandom story because no big acc has tried to police them & and say hey pls be rational. Whether we like it or not, in a place where how far voices, ideas, tweets, posts get heard is based on the number of followers you have, big accs will have the power and influence in creating/curating/shifting the narratives.

So, if you want to know why your/our fandom thinks like this in general, look at what big accs are tweeting/posting, look at what ideas & values they follow, look at their preferences or how strongly they react to certain situations. it's taxing and toxic for big accs given the nature of social media these days, but it's also the reality of system, the more followers/audience you have, the more influence you will have.

So to anyone reading this I hope we all practice more restraint and reflection before we post anything. Remember that words, no matter what medium you write it in, will always carry weight.

So true. It is easy - even for myself who spends a fair chunk of time answering people's asks - to forget that people can sometimes be impressionable and what we say can influence people whether that's our intent or not. I get used to thinking of myself as a regular guy just doing my own thing when sometimes my thoughts and words go well beyond where I initially posted them.

I think it's important for us to be careful what we say, and it's equally important to be careful what we take from what other people say. Especially when it comes to big claims. Always get a second, third, fourth opinion and don't be afraid to ask for clarification if something doesn't sit right or sounds confusing.

It's also important to reflect on how our words and actions might affect other people's experience of fandom, and err on the side of 'live and let live' wherever possible. It's great to have our own preferences and to champion them, but we should try to do so in a way that leaves space for other people and perspectives.

The more unique perspectives and the more friendly, open dialog there is, the healthier the community will be as a whole.

There's nothing wrong with encouraging and guiding growth in the particular areas we are interested in, as long as it doesn't step on, oppress or attack those who are peacefully enjoying something different.

Anonymous 2 asked: bjyx fans attacking gdgdbaby for including zsww/lsfy dynamics in an event named bjyx then turning right around and attacking the zsww/lsfy event organizer for excluding bjyx? god, can you hear my facepalm and sigh of resignation and incredulity from over there? im genuinely not surprised that they're trying to drive an entire part of the fandom out by disgusting them (and me) with these immature tactics. i believe what im about to say next will sound quite bait-y and i respect your decision 1/?

should you choose not to post this. but i do know that it is not only me, in fact there are many out there, that is of this opinion. we just dont talk about it on twitter to avoid the potential mess it will bring lol. okay, here goes nothing. (do note that im talking about the majority here, not every single person is like this) so bjyx fans tend to be cishet females whereas zsww/lsfy fans are more diverse in terms of age and gender, and most of them are part of the queer community too 2/?

i would like to clarify that most of these zsww/lsfy fans are not dynamic exclusive (in the sense that they are friendly and interact with all ggdd fans) they just prefer to "identify" themselves as zsww/lsfy fans (on twitter specifically) just to form a distinction from bjyx fans who mostly are dynamic exclusive (as in; they do not consume non-bjyx content, and straightup refuse to interact with non-bjyx fans, often blocking them). as a result, id say that the zsww/lsfy communiy is way more 3/?

mature and respectful (after all, they're mostly queer people talking about a queer ship) whereas many problems in this fandom, such as the homophobia, adamantly insisting on "drawing lines" between dynamics, stem from the bjyx exclusive fans, comprised of cishet females who "may not know better". so, it is of no surprise to me that they're resorting to these immature tactics of calling gg unsavory names, and organizing retaliatory events with controversial topics in an attempt to "purify". 4/4

I trust that you have arrived at that theory through your own experience and observation. I haven't personally spent much time immersed in this stuff so I can't claim to have any real insight or expertise. If you say that's your experience of it, then at the very least that's how you've seen things up to this point.

I just want to say that I think we should always be careful about making assumptions about people's age, gender/gender identity, etc.

There are plenty of good reasons to avoid doing that; because those assumptions could be very wrong, because those assumptions are often laced with ageism, sexism, etc., because those assumptions - even when correct - might not be an accurate basis for the conclusions we draw.

But the primary reason I recommend avoiding those type of assumptions is because anything that enables us to clump a group of people together in our minds like that will tend to make them easier to demonize and dehumanize. They are no longer individuals who are each responsible for their own unique perspectives, they are now 'the X group' who is known for 'A B C series of easily attackable ideas or behaviors'.

If we attribute undesirable traits and behaviors to a group of people we feel opposed to in some way, that makes us feel more righteous and justified in behaving unfairly toward them, dismissing their humanity and warring with them. It's just risky behavior to engage in, even when it's well-intentioned.

There might actually be some truth to what you're saying. It could very well be that most of these people are young, inexperienced, heteronormative, etc. but if that's the case then we should try to use those traits to better understand and empathize rather than to better dismiss and discredit.

Just my two cents on that.

It can be really frustrating dealing with what feels like other people attacking us, trying to oppress us, etc. - especially when there are more of them than there are of us. In my experience the best solutions to that sort of problem are generally the ones that focus on what we are doing and want to do rather than what they are doing that we don't want them to do.

As I am always preaching, we can't control what other people say, do or think. The only thing we have any control over is what we say, do and think (and how we respond to what they say, do and think).

I have found in my experience that the moment I step out of a conflict mindset and instead step into a problem-solving mindset, everything starts to come together. I feel better, my outlook is more positive, I can begin to see solutions and allies rather than problems and enemies, and most of all, I become more focused on what I am doing than what others are doing.

So I would recommend everyone who is invested in resolving these conflicts focus on that. "How can we best showcase and encourage the types of stories we enjoy?" instead of "How can we stop these other people from doing things we dislike?"

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello again! It’s anon #3 from the fanfic post. I really do appreciate reading your thoughts on various issues like this, so thank you for always taking time to write in depth. As for supporting without going to war, the simplest way has always been to just show appreciation for the creators, hype them up. Kudos are the easiest way on ao3 but comments in addition are great. This goes for all content—art, fics, vids..etc. Creators love to see and read how people react to their content. Sharing is also great, fic recs are very helpful, just be cautious with art and reposting though. Hope this helps a bit!

Thanks so much, Anon. I think this is excellent advice. And it's true that appreciation is great, but helping to expand the audience is also great. Recommending stories, pointing people to the pages/websites of artists we like (as opposed to reposting), sharing our own ideas and approaches, encouraging people to try new things... all of this helps build healthier communities.

And here's another one: WRITE! DRAW! CREATE!

I urge anyone with creative interests or talents to bring their voices to the community because we all can benefit from hearing from you.

Thanks again everyone for sharing your thoughts on this issue. I hope that over time we can all work in positive ways to improve the situation.

I think this subject has been well-covered now so I'm going to retire it for the time being. If anyone still feels they want to discuss it further please feel free to message me privately. Thanks.

[b00t-s]

We're all gossip-y bitches sometimes

this is part two

Janus xey/xem

Roman she/he

Patton he/him

Virgil he/him

See the character intros for more info

TW. Swearing, arguments, alcohol, drunk characters, the word v//mit is used once, characters being characters, past trauma mentioned, tiny tiny tiny sprinkle of angst but just a passing of it at end, and nothing to intense

Again, tell me if I'm being insensitive. Shout at me if I am.

Summary: Patton goes to talk to Janus about Roman. The group opens...'some' bottles. Virgil adds on some...interesting opinions.

Events occur few hours after this.

Janus just finished xeir nightly shift when Patton came bounding up to xem. Janus raised an eyebrow at how ecstatic he looked.

"Yes?" Xey managed out, forcing back the hundreds of snarky comments xey could of said right then.

"Can you hang out at My house later?" Patton practically beamed out.

"why would I want to 'hang out'? It's just a social construct created to give people a higher sense of being." Janus remarked, flipping to closed/open side to closed.

"So you'll be there?"

"hmm. Will doom-and-gloom be there?

"doom and---ohhh, Virge. Yeah, probably," Patton realised now that this was a bad mix of people to invite "probably-probably not for long though!"

"Fine" Janus replied, taking off xeir apron. Xey ignored the obvious lie. "I'll be there in an hour." Xey knew one way or another xey would end up there due to Patton's... effective persuading.

"Great!" Patton exclaimed "oh yeah, and...um...it's raining outside so..take my umbrella, kay?"

His tone more serious all of a sudden, Patton nodded to Janus' heavily made up face, so well done an ignorant bystander wouldn't of noticed the thick layers of foundation on xeir face.

Patton handed xem a translucent umbrella, patterned with cute frogs and flowers, to Janus. Ignoring the distasteful cartoons, Janus nodded and took the umbrella.

"See you soon, Jan!" Patton cheerily waved as he bounced off.

Janus folded xeir apron, opened Patton's umbrella and braved the outdoors.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Janus arrived at Patton's house exactly on time, bone dry, despite the heavily flowing rain. Patton expected nothing less of his friend. He invited xem inside, amazed as always by his friend's everyday fashion.

Jan was wearing a casual yellow shirt over a long sleeved black shirt. Fishnet gloves adorned xeir hands, and xeir ruffled hair was let lose.

Xeir fashionably messy hair was topped with a neatly placed black fedora, which of xey never took off. Xey even scarred persuaded Thomas to let xem wear it to work.

Patton offered xem a smile, and walked xem upstairs. "Hi Jan!" He grinned.

"Hello" xey replied mundanely.

Xey absent-mindedly glanced at Patton's outfit, which contained a violet cashmere sweater, bell bottomed jeans, circular silver glasses and a sunflower clip in his perfect curls.

It was a good look, xey had to admit.

When they both reached Patton's room, Janus stood still, taking in xeir surroundings.

Patton's room was covered with things from the 2000's; Tamagotchi's, stickers pressed up against the pastel wall, stuffed animals, wristbands, old CD's, care bears posters and butterfly clips littering the floor in a deadly trap.

A trans flag was pinned above the single bed with blue tack, right next to some inspirational and motivational quotes.

The whole place looked like it had been puked on by unicorns.

It hurt Janus' eyes.

Xey was a little overwhelmed by all the spiraling colours and nostalgia-inducing objects, so xey sat cross-legged in the middle of the pink carpet. The world slowed down.

Janus wondered, not for the first time, how a 29 year old could be this cheerful.

.

Or appear this cheerful.

"Jan?"

Janus gave a small twitch of xeir head, realising that xey had spaced out. "Hmm?" Xey replied.

"Hey, you were up with the clouds! I was just saying, I think Virge is here" Patton chirped.

"oh"

"he...might be staying for a little longer then i said"

"How wonderful." Janus muttered, knowing this would happen but hating it anyway.

"oh, don't be like that! I'm sure you guys could become friends!" Janus snorted. "Or...at least not kill at each other whenever you're in the same general area" Patton corrected.

"Anyway! I'm going to greet him at the door!" He suddenly proclaimed, skipping downstairs.

Janus was disgusted at how naïve this man was.

But that was a lie.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Patton slowed his happy skip to a casual walk. His grin slipped into a content smile as he reached the end of the stairs. Being so happy takes its toll on people, he thought. Soft tapping of the door interrupted his thoughts as he opened the door to reveal Virgil.

The first thing you notice about this man was his unfair tall-ness. He nearly had to duck to get inside; being too skinny didn't help. Virgil was wearing a plain black hoodie over a mcr top, completing the look with a short, pleated skirt and docs. His face was slathered in white foundation, accompanied with dark eyeshadow under his eyes.

"Virge!! I'm glad you could make it, even if you are late!!Again!" Patton hugged his friend, genuinely glad for his presence. The taller man patted Patton's curls awkwardly.

"Heyyyy Pat-" Virgil did the awkward pats on the back everyone does when they want to get out of a hug but don't want to say it in fear of hurting ones feelings. "Traffic-"

Patton withdrew from the hug and smiled. "okay! at least you're here safe! Can't control the traffic"

"Janus is waiting for us upstairs" Patton continued. He hurriedly carried on speaking before Virgil could spit out an insult about xem "say, you know what I hate about stairs? They're always up to something!" Patton laughed at his own joke, whilst Virgil pretended to face-palm, hiding a snigger.

"Alright, Alright dAd, didn't you say snake face was waiting for us?" Virgil mocked. Patton chuckled uncomfortably at the nickname, but nodded nonetheless.

"Yeah, we shouldn't leave xem waiting"

They both entered his room, having walked the short journey there in a comfortable silence. Patton noted Janus had not moved from were he left xem; xey had just shifted to read a book xey most likely found lying around. Janus looked up upon their arrival, xeir face immediately twisting into a mocking grimace upon seeing Virgil. "ah, you brought the racoon"

"Janus play nice--"

"you're one to talk, you participated in 2012 Tumblr" Virgil threw back

"must you be so wounding" Janus dramatically threw xeir hand against xeir forehead.

"okAY, that's enough guys." Patton firmly said. Janus pulled a face in reply, and Virgil returned the favour. Patton sighed. He just wanted them to get along, which was probably a high expectation by itself.

Perhaps he had booze leftover somewhere.

--------------------------------

Twelve near fist fights, two crying sessions and many, many, many bottles of alcohol later, it was nearing eleven pm and the group was drunker than a litter of catnip high kittens.

They all crowded into a close-knit circle on the bed, nearly falling off but not caring.

"ssso your telling me that flashy asss hhimbo sssssaid I wasss hot but then rude and that I wore too muchh makeup? What a *hic* bitchh" Janus hissed.

Patton giggled. "yeeeeee, be nice though! She was kindaaaa alllllllll over the place!" Patton continued bluntly, "But how would you feel if I set you guys up????~"

"oh pleassssse do, I would just love that" Janus may be trashed but xey still knew sarcasm. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending who you are, Patton did not.

"yayyy! This is gonna be great!!"

Virgil butted in then, waving around the bottle he was holding "hold on, just holllld on a minute there, you're planning to set up that" he vaugly gestured in Janus' direction "with Princy??? Xey've known her for what, 4 minutes? Life isn't a disney movie"

"Dare I detect a hint of jealousy there emo?" Janus purred "am I that lovable?" Xey hiccuped.

"ooooooooh" Patton leaned into the circle, loving the drunk drama.

"wouldn't you like to know weather boy" Virgil droned back, finishing off the bottle.

"Honey, I would dare ssay that was a yesss"

"nO"

"oooooo, you liiiiike meeeEe"

"you disgust me"

"kinky"

Patton shook his hands excitingly at them, nearly hitting Virgil, causing them to shut up. "I can't believe you're finally open to a relationship after what happened! With my best friend no least! Boy did I try to get you to go on more dat--" Patton suddenly clasped his hands over his mouth as if he just said something nasty.

.

.

Everyone went silent. Janus stared at Patron, xeir mouth slightly parted. Virgil laughed nervously to try and break the tension. It sounded strained.

Janus began to speak to stop Patton from starting to spout drunken apologies. "Well thatssss jusst a liee, I've dated pleeenty of people over..well...that...period..of time."

Everyone went silent again, not quite sure on what to say.

Virgil's anxiety was heightening due to the social awkwardness and the influence of the alcohol.

Patton was fidgeting in his lap.

It was Janus yet again who broke the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"Sssso, *hic* you ssaid you wanted me to go out with thisss idiot?"

----------------------------------

first-previous-next

updated masterpost

tag list: @arrowthenon-binaryroyalty, @spellingwillbethedeathofme,

ask if you want to be added or removed from tag list

and we meet our boi virgil

context is for losers

i could of probably cut out unnecessary things in that but y'know I'm new and I like it

these posts will be in chronological order, unless flashback, but it's not following a set-in-stone story line, so asks are, yet again, much appreciated.

I procrastinated too much during the making of this

[word-addict-lisette]

Dear Lisette,

I am back in you inbox, yay! How was your day? How's life? How's school?

I am really mad because we had this piece of work and it was like "pen down your idea on this statement, 'i can do whatever i want on the internet as long as i don't get caught' and i put down my thoughts which were 'this statement is true, i stand by it and you can do whatever you like as long as you don't get caught and don't own up' and then people were like throwing shade at me and i looked at it. I have 5 comments.

My teachers tried to delete it, my classmates literally lectured me and then she read it out loud and the whole class went looking for that one note i made. In the comments, people are spelling my name in caps. It was my opinion, and oh, look all of them are basically hypocrites. Let me just say, these people make me uncomfortable, they don't talk about exactly nice things or approriate things and they are all commenting ( without names too may i add) like "KAT, THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS WORK!" but with my real name and just arghhh.

Also if my teachers wanted me to say, "no, that isn't the right thing to do," or any other answer that the others provided them with, they shouldn't have asked for my opinion. They should have just forced us all to just type the same thing. The other people all wrote like, "no, its unethical and bad" or "False, no, its bad" and stuff like that, filmsy evidence and elaboration. I HAVE MORALS, i am just saying the truth. I feel like the victim of a hate crime. People don't like me enough already, i am a very intresting person, uh, yeah, we are gonna stop there.

Enjoy the rant i guess? I don't know? I am sorry for loading on you but there's a little extra rant so uh, yeah. im just gonna take this out, one sec.

Ok, so uh my teacher was like, next week, we are making pancakes. Fluffy pancakes. It was changed to pancakes without eggs? and now we have to make it ourselves, at home. Where do i get flour? What do i do with the extra flour? I don't know how to cook at all, my partner who has been extremely controlling and like kinda driving me insane, ( ahem i did the whole coursework) also she uses my friend's name for everything? Like, bestie i was literally helping out and you went all, "Oh you don't want (friend's name) to see you burnt right?". Obviously i don't but if i burnt down my house, she wouldn't be surprised. I BURNT MYSELF LAST YEAR, SHE SAW ME BURN MYSELF. Well, my friend burnt me and then the week after that, she burnt herself.

This happens a lot. Also, the very common questions and statements of, "Are you straight?" , "aren't you and (friend's name) dating?", "you guys would make such a cute couple" , " aren't you bi?" and "i thought the two of you were dating," there is nothing wrong with being bi but i am not attracted to her like that. So, they use her for leverage over me to get me to do what they want and also think im dating her? If we were dating, we would both be homeless. I like my house. This doesn't only happen with her. I once got shipped with my brother. I hugged him and some guy was like, "oh you guys like each other," that was awkward. Can i just add, a lot of people like majority of that community know we are siblings.

I also get shipped with his best friend, thanks to a rumor my brother made up. So, sometimes, i would get like comments like, "oh, you like him" or "(brother's name) told me that you and (brother's best friend) are dating," we are not dating. WE ARE JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. I LIKE A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. LEAVE ME ALONE. Also, everytime i have a picture of a guy on my phone or something my cousin just has to tell my brother. THEY ARE STREAMERS. ONE IS OF V FROM BTS SO I CAN TRAMATISE MY FRIEND.

Everytime i cry, someone comes in my room. It is so annoying. LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANT TO CRY. This is why i started reading sad books, listening to sad songs, watching sad movies so i have a reason to cry. There was this once, i wasnt selected to be part of my choir's competition and i was sad about it because i didn't feel good enough. THEY SAID I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. So, i cried but it wasn't enough so i read the saddest book i could find so i had a reason to cry but by that time, my feelings were gone. This is why i get breakdowns when im overwhelmed because of all this. You know how old i am. I have to deal with this and the pressure of always wanting to be perfect. What else can i do? I am not pretty or smart or talented or have friends, i have like 6 friends and nobody ever keeps me company. So, i focus on being perfect. 100%, i deal with not having any attention because my parents didn't pay me any attention just because i was "independent" or something?

Did i mention, i babysit all my siblings? I am the second child. I baby-sit my older brother. I am sleep-deprived because i can't sleep well at night and i constantly worry about everything and i have to take care of all my friends and it is so exhausting. Yet, i can not cry.

Thanks for staying with me through whatever that was. Uh, yeah, i took the quiz and got chaotic academia. That is my aesthetic. I really want one of those fancy skirts they wear like on pintrest and stuff? Like you know what i mean? The academia skirt? Yeah, i don't have one yet.

Question of the day, what is your dream profession or you could answer my other question which is what would you want to look like? Or you could answer both?

Ok, thank you again. i am gonna go study. Love and hugs and just literal joy sent your way!

- Kat, the ultimate dino mom of Leo, Billy Bob, Jessica, Sophie, Jackson, Sarah, Lily, the Micheals and all her other kids. (Jessica, Sophie and Jackson are mailboxes and Lily is a computer, Micheal is my screwdriver and laptop pencil, there are two micheals.)

Dear Kat,

It's really good to see you in my inbox. I'm sorry for replying late, but exams really had occupied my schedule today and I got my Saturday exam tomorrow. This week is going to be stressful and today's day has been pathetic. I had nothing to do except study and write exams. I feel like I haven't really been social recently and That I'm losing touch with people that I used to be close with and basically I'm letting overthinking take over my mind.

That is so sick. Why is someone's genuine opinion bothering them so much? I totally wouldn't be able to tolerate that. They ought to understand that there is a fine line between a fact and an opinion, and what you stated was just an OPINION. they have no right whatsoever to come at you like that. I totally agree... the teachers ought to have not asked for your opinion if all they desired was a particularly specific answer which opposed the statement. one of the reasons I hate the schooling system has to be THIS. people who are putting comments like that ought to realize that what you stated is exactly what they do in real life. They just want to be seen as the good kid here. At least you have the guts enough to speak the truth.

Miss! You don't have to worry about ranting out to me. You can rant to me for days and I'd still listen. Just go on ranting nobody is stopping you.

Ahhh! I've had that happen to me. I really understand how tough that can be. I really really hate being shipped with someone who I am just platonically friends with like you've got no valid proof to believe that we are romantically involved with each other. I've burnt myself plenty of times too. It's not a pleasant experience. Plus I also hate having controlling partners. Cause all they do is boss you around while they are barely doing a thing. It sucks.

Why? Just why? Why does it even matter to them? Who you date and what your sexuality is, is none of their business. I have no idea why people concern themselves with topics that really don't involve them. It's like people are just ready to make gossip out of anything. A person can't have a bestie without not liking them? I don't get what's so difficult to understand about that. I hate it when I'm casually talking to a guy and people start shipping us and start spreading rumors of us being in a romantic relationship. Another thing they do is, if a person likes me, they automatically assume that I like him back when I've barely even ever spoken to that guy. And yes! I like fictional characters! Don't even assume I like any of you fools cause You idiots bully me and ship me with total crackheads... And my standards are good enough for me to not include you guys in my list of *appropriate candidates* which consists of non-existent people.

Similarly, the moment I'm chatting with some guy, or like have a pic with someone on my mobile phone people just assume that fact that I'm crushing on him. Like no! I don't. We are friends... the others are celebrities, Why can't you understand that? I can't imagine how thick their skull must be considering they can't let a small statement like that sink in.

The crying thingy... I feel personally attacked. Nobody lets me do anything in peace, let alone crying. I literally use the washroom in my room and even my sister comes in there just banging on the door asking me to get the heck out of there and go somewhere else, like can't she use the other two washrooms or what? I like listening to sad stuff and reading angst cause somehow or the other it calms me down... it makes me feel at peace cause I know I'm not the only one who feels like crying. I've got a lot of friends, nobody remembers my birthday, I remember all of theirs'. They don't even text me, It's always me who takes the first step. All my friends just want me by their side cause I'm a smartass they want to show off as a trophy and cause I've got much better sarcasm than them. They just want to benefit from me. That's all. GOD, I'm not pretty at all. I look like a random idiot all the time. I look pathetic. And I lack talent... And you! I warned you, miss! You are pretty, beautiful, talented, smart, friendly, caring, kind and THE BEST!!!

I've never been given attention. Never ever. My sister has always stolen the spotlight. And I hate it. Not even my friends acknowledge me, my parents just ehhhhh. No matter how good I score, No matter how good I behave, No matter what. I'm just never good enough. My parents think of me as a rebellious kid. And I don't know what to do about that. All I've ever done is listen to them. My parents never allowed me to go out and play with my friends when I was a kid, they never let me go on overnight trips, and they barely let me spend time with the few friends I have. They never let me go to outings my school friends planned. Despite that, I never complained. I never had good friends because of that, yet I never complained. A lot of kids my age roam around in shopping malls by themselves, have sleepovers, spend money, roam around with tons of makeup on their faces, are in relationships, and even get into illegal shit. I've never done anything Like that. And yet... I'm never the good kid. I'm still the rebel.

I've got to take care of my sister almost every day. Get her to study, study myself, take care of myself while tolerating my grandmother. I really don't like my grandma, she s very fussy and just keeps yelling around the house the moment my dad and mom leave the house. I've got sensory overload because of her voice. And now I sit and have an anxiety attack almost every time she speaks. I've always got to strive for perfection as well. And I too can't sleep well at night just cause all the worries of the world, keep weighing me down.

Chaotic academia sounds good. It's the same aesthetic my sister got when I asked her to take the test! And oooh! Me too! I love those skirts and outfits they show on Pinterest. I'd love to have them someday.

My dream profession has to be that of a writer. Or perhaps even running a library. just something cozy. Ohh! I'd love to have brown hair, and I'd want to be tall just a little shorter than What I am right now. I just reached my father's height yesterday. And more or less, I'd like the rest to stay just as it is. and perhaps a lighter shade of skin tone. What about you though?

My question for you! If you were to be stranded on a beach island for a week. Who would you bring with you and how would you spend your time there. You can include whatever elements of nature you want to include like forests, lakes, and all.

Sending love, warmth, hugs, and whatever I have to spare that you would like to you!!!!

-Love from Lisette

P.S. That's an interesting family you've got, right there!