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curlynerd · 3 years

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Just Say It

Happy gift posting day for the @starrynightdeancas gift exchange! I had two assignees, so I'm posting two fics today! My 2nd gift recipient is @deanwinchesteradjacent! She requested canon-adjacent Destiel with fluff, action, and a happy ending. I hope you like it! <3

Word Count: 7.5K Rating: T Summary: A string of violent deaths at an otherwise charming B&B was all the excuse Dean needed to drag Cas down to Florida for some fun in the sun. Things had been awkward since Cas came back from the Empty and they could finally be together, but Dean was sure that a romantic getaway was the perfect thing to help Cas get out of the training wheels stage of Angel's-First-Romance and start acting like a real couple. Just as soon as they took care of a vengeful spirit. What could possibly go wrong? Notes: Post canon, fix-it fic, oneshot, love confessions, Dean is bad at feelings, case fic, beach fic.

Also read it on AO3!

“Alright, I’m heading out.”

“Did you pack deodorant?”

“Dean…”

“Toothpaste? Mouthwash?”

“...”

“Those fancy hair products? Cuz there’s just. So. Many--”

“Dean! I’ve lived my whole life on the road. I know how to pack a damn dufflebag!”

Dean smirked, unperturbed by Sam’s whining. “Yeah but Eileen is a classy lady. She’s not gonna put up with your usual road stank.”

Sam sighed in annoyance as he readjusted the bag on his shoulder. “I’m not the one who wears his underwear three days in a row, jerk.”

“Better leave that attitude at home, bitch,” Dean said cheerfully. “It’s your anniversary, after all.”

Sam’s mouth twitched into a shy grin despite his best efforts. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be on my best behavior,” he said, letting Dean have one last bit of fun before he left. “You and Cas too. Don’t get into trouble.” He nodded in farewell before he climbed the stairs to the bunker door.

“Oh, and Sammy?”

Sam paused at the top of the stairs and turned around. Almost like he could sense what was coming, his eyebrow twitched in irritation. Dean hucked a box up to the landing, and Sam fumbled to catch it. Dean flashed a shit-eating grin as Sam read the Trojan label and fixed him with a scowl. “Make sure you wrap it before you tap it, Sammy.”

Sam rolled his eyes as he walked out the door.

Dean laughed to himself as he turned back to his laptop, scrolling through news articles looking for a hunt. He was still at it an hour later when Cas came shuffling into the room still in his pajamas, two cups of coffee in hand.

“Mornin’ Sunshine,” Dean crooned cheerfully. Cas’ hair was in wild disarray, and between that and his worn, brown sweatshirt and loose pajama bottoms, he looked more like a bear stumbling out of hibernation than a guy just waking up. “Sam already left.”

Cas set a mug down in front of Dean before slumping down into the chair beside him. “I hope he and Eileen have fun this week,” he mumbled as he hunched over his coffee.

Dean smiled at how adorable Cas looked, all grumpy and sleep-ruffled. He was still an angel...somewhat. He had Grace, if only a little. So close to mortality, Cas often needed mundane human things like sleep and food. He wasn’t particularly thrilled about it. In fact, he was so irritated about the whole thing that Dean hadn’t been able to work up the nerve to invite him to sleep in his room, instead of alone. Dean chewed on his lower lip. Maybe after this case, things would change.

“Are you looking up a case?” Cas asked, tilting toward Dean’s screen.

“Uh...yeah.” With forced casualness, Dean turned the laptop so Cas could read a headline from last year: “Gruesome Death at Bed and Breakfast Leaves Locals Worried.” “Over the past forty years, there’ve been six deaths at this B&B. All either heart attacks or a brain hemorrhage. All without a scratch on ‘em. Always a couple. Always on the same night: this Friday. That sure screams ‘ghost’ to me.”

“Key West?” Cas asked as he scanned the article. “Florida? That’s quite a drive.”

Dean shrugged. His fingers tapped against the tabletop. “It is, but hell, why not? Sam gets the week off with Eileen, why can’t we have a little vacation too?”

Cas narrowed his eyes. Suspicious. He was suspicious. Was a little time off really so bad? “You haven’t taken a vacation the entire time I’ve known you.”

“Yeah, well…” Dean struggled to come up with a good excuse. “That was, ya know. Before.”

“Before,” Cas repeated stiffly.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Before everything.” He gestured around his head. Before Cas told him he loved him and immediately died. Before Dean rescued him from The Empty. Before they wound up in this awkward, stilted Angel’s-First-Romance training wheels relationship Dean found them in.

That seemed to placate Cas. He nodded and took another sip of coffee. “The beach would be nice…”

Dean broke into a grin. “Better than nice! Toes in the sand, drinks with little umbrellas… That’s better than paradise.” He gave Cas’ shoulder a friendly pat. Then--because he could, couldn’t he?--Dean let his hand run along the broad expanse of Cas’ shoulder and gently cup the back of his neck.

This was okay, right? He’d held back on any sort of real PDA because of how uncomfortable Cas would act. And that was okay. He understood. Angels and intimacy...Well, angels just worked differently than humans. And it was all new to Cas! It took him over a decade to say he loved Dean. It would probably take awhile before he was ready to hold hands.

But this wasn’t very much, right? Just a light hand on the back of his neck. This was about as innocent as things got!

Except Cas went stiff under Dean, and Dean took the hint and pulled his hand away as he bit back a sigh. So much for that.

His eyes trailed back to his laptop. Hopefully this getaway would change things, help Cas loosen up and finally see that they could act even a little like a couple now. A romantic beach, warm sunshine, half-naked romps in the water, a cozy and only slightly haunted bed and breakfast…

What could go wrong?

----

Three days and one slightly terrifying highway over the ocean later, Dean and Cas pulled into a parking space for a charming bed and breakfast painted in a lovely pale--

“Lavender?” Dean balked at the decidedly dainty color of the siding. “I know they like their pastels here, but geez…”

“It’s just a paint color,” Cas said as he crossed around to the trunk and started unloading their bags. The duffle full of salt, shotguns, and various iron weapons clanked ominously. He shouldered it carefully so it wouldn’t make so much noise.

“This whole street is like friggin’ Candy Land.” Dean eyeballed the canary yellow house across the street suspiciously as they made their way to the front door.

The inside was clearly the result of a scandalous love affair between a Jimmy Buffet concert and a Hallmark store--All tacky tropical themed furniture and a dizzying array of porcelain figurines.

Dean grinned from ear to ear and elbowed Cas. At Cas’ inquisitive eyebrow, Dean nodded his head to a shelf full of long-haired, sad-eyed blonde angels. Cas rolled his eyes while Dean laughed to himself.

“Hello! Can I help you?” An older woman sat behind a small reception desk, smiling warmly at them in the glow of her ancient computer.

Dean put on his best people-pleasing smile. “Yes you can. Hi, I’m Dean, and this is my, uh…” Dean glanced over to Cas and his eyes crinkled in delight. “Cas. This is my boyfriend, Cas.” Just the word caused a giddy bubble of effervescence to float inside Dean’s chest. After all this time, they were really here. This was real.

Cas offered the receptionist a small, tight smile before turning his studious gaze to the figurines on the wall shelves. The woman furrowed her brow, so Dean charged forward with the conversation before Cas’ awkwardness put her off. If they were going to pry into the case here, they needed her to be friendly with them. “I booked a reservation for this weekend. It--Are you guys still open? It’s kinda quiet in here.” Dean glanced around the empty living space. There weren’t any other cars parked outside either.

The woman waved off his concerns. “Oh yes, it’s just the off season right now. Some weekends are like that.” She spoke a little too quickly as she clicked through her computer. Dean suspected all the news articles about bloody deaths had something to do with it. “Not hard to find your reservation. You’re our only guests tonight.” She grabbed two keys off a hook and held them out for Dean. “You’ll be in room 4, down at the end of the hallway upstairs. It’s the largest one. If you need extra towels or anything, let me know. I’m Susan.”

Sensing they were about to be dismissed, Dean swerved into a distraction. “You know, we’ve been on the road for ages. Do you have any coffee or anything like that? A little wakeup before we hit the beach?”

Susan pushed back from the desk. “Oh of course! I was about to get some for myself, actually. I’ll be right back.”

“Keep an eye out for anything suspicious, Cas,” Dean muttered as Susan disappeared down a hallway. “Anything out of place or really old. You know, haunted stuff.” Cas nodded, and Dean covertly pulled his EMF reader out of his jacket pocket and flicked it on. It was silent. They both made a pass of the room, pretending to look around.

“Here we are!” Susan said brightly, expertly holding three coffee mugs in her hands. Dean jumped a little and hastily put his device away before turning around. “I hope cream and sugar is okay.”

“Any caffeine is fine,” he assured her as he and Cas took their mugs. “So Susan, what is there to do around here? You know, other than what Yelp says. The insider’s scoop.” Dean winked as he took a sip of his coffee.

Susan smiled. “Well, if nightlife is your thing, there are some great spots within walking distance.”

Dean chuckled. “C’mon, Susan. Does this guy look like much of a dancer?” He grinned fondly at Cas as he draped his arm over his shoulders. It was ridiculous how much his stomach fluttered from the small action, but dammit, after all they’d been through to get here, Dean had earned a few butterflies. He squeezed Cas’ shoulder even though Cas didn’t really react. Dean was definitely going to have to clarify that the personal space rule didn’t apply anymore.

“Well, the restaurant down the street also does an excellent brunch,” Susan offered instead.

“Now that’s more our speed.” Maybe if the hunt went well they could actually stay the night, instead of getting the hell out of Dodge before the cops chased them down. Keep their salt and burn quiet and enjoy a nice night in. Dean tried not to get his hopes up for sharing a bed with Cas.

And he did mean sharing a bed. Things were moving so slowly between him and Cas he’d be thrilled just to spoon, nevermind anything else. Dean bit back a sigh as he swept over all of the knick-knacks and decorations, hoping for some sort of clue as to the identity of their ghost. “I’ve gotta say, I love the decor. Is all of this your collection?” Maybe a haunted object? Or a cursed one?

“Most of it.” A faint twinge of wistfulness colored Susan’s words as she looked over the porcelain figurines. “My Marcy liked to collect the angels, but that was years and years ago.”

On a high shelf was a large urn next to an oil painting of a young woman that immediately pinged Dean’s hunter’s instincts. “That’s a lovely painting over there,” he said, catching Cas’ eye meaningfully. Cas turned around to look too.

Susan’s face melted into a quiet, sad smile. “Yes, that’s my Marcy right there. A self-portrait. She was such a talented artist.”

Cas tilted his head. “She was your...wife?” he guessed.

Susan’s face crumpled. “No. No we were never…” She took a deep breath and continued in a steadier tone. “She was my business partner, but I loved her. Very much. And I knew she loved me too. So I suppose you could say we were almost together. Should have been together.” Her lower lip trembled.

“If you don’t mind my asking, what stopped you?” Dean felt bad for pressing her for information that was clearly upsetting, but people’s lives were at stake. Possibly Susan’s own.

Susan curled her hands around her mug, staring into the steaming coffee with a far off look in her eyes. “I was afraid. Of my own feelings. Of opening myself to getting hurt. So I...When Marcy needed me to be honest about how I felt I...I let her down. She got mad...We fought...She ran off. There was an accident, and...Well...” Susan took another deep breath. Her eyes were glassy with tears and heavy with regret. “Today is the anniversary of the day she died.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Dean said, injecting even more sincerity into his words even though he expected as much. Marcy was the best lead so far. Was she attacking people on the anniversary of her death? She was obviously cremated, but perhaps there was something keeping her tied here?

“Not your fault,” she said with the heaviness of one who had heard those words hundreds of times. She shook her head. “You’re not the reason she--” Susan cut herself off and swallowed down her tears. Despite her best efforts, a single tear trailed down her cheek.

“It sounds like you loved her very much,” Cas said, his voice infused with genuine sympathy.

“She was my world. I loved her more than she’ll ever know...” Again Susan fell silent, this time lost in thought.

Then, with a deep, resettling breath, she wiped at her eyes with the edge of her finger and forced a cheerful expression. “But enough of that. You’re my guests. You don’t need to hear all of that! Do you need anything while you get settled in? More towels? Recommendations for restaurants?”

Dean shook his head, “Appreciate it ma’am, but we’ll probably just grab whatever’s convenient around here.”

“Well, would you like to eat here? Usually I don’t serve dinner for guests, but since it’s only the two of you, I can cook up something if you’d like. I honestly wouldn’t mind the company.”

Sensing another opportunity to interview Susan, Dean smiled his very best ‘comforting the bereaved’ smile. “We’d like that very much, Susan. Thank you for offering.” Then, carefully timed almost like an afterthought, he added, “Oh, and what’s the wifi password?”

Upstairs their room was somewhat small but airy. The walls were a crisp, breezy blue, the linens bright white. There was even a gauzy white canopy draped around the four-poster bed. Dean grinned. One bed. Surely that was cause for some optimism about tonight.

“I dunno about you, but I’m gonna sleep like a log tonight,” he said with the most casual tone he could muster as he grabbed the weapons bag off Cas’ shoulder and deposited it on the duvet. “What about you? Think you’ll need a couple z’s?” ‘Please say yes.’

Cas eyed the bed. Something strange flickered across his face. Something heavy, even sad. Dean immediately felt like a jackass for reminding Cas about his weak Grace. “I mean, who knows how you’ll feel tonight,” Dean added hastily. He started digging through his bag for his laptop. “Get some sea air in your lungs, and you might wake right up.”

Cas pursed his lips. “I suppose so,” he said, his voice carefully neutral. He turned away from Dean and started roaming the room, looking over the artwork on the walls and the little beachy decorations on the furniture. He came to a stop.

“This looks like Susan and Marcy,” he said, letting his fingers trail along the frame of a painting over the dresser.

“Yeah?” Dean looked up from his booting laptop. It was an oil painting like the one downstairs, with a young couple in bright dresses making each other laugh in front of a backdrop of a stormy gray ocean. One was undeniably a much younger Susan. Marcy looked the same as she did in the painting downstairs.

Cas frowned a little and pulled his hand back from the frame. He glanced around the ceiling and only relaxed when he saw an air-conditioning vent gently humming nearby. Dean shrugged it off and turned back to his laptop. He set right to work searching through the local newspaper archives and breaking into the coroner’s office servers. Finding their ghost was only a matter of time.

“Got it. Marcy Daniels. Died forty-three years ago tonight.” Dean flipped his laptop around so Cas could read the news article. “Hit by a car. Right outside this house. Died before she even got to the hospital.”

Cas squinted at the screen. The photo attached to the article looked just like the woman in the paintings. “And you think she’s the ghost?”

Dean shrugged. “Seems as good a guess as any. Violent death. Susan said they were fighting right before. Probably something happened between them that left Marcy pissed off enough to stay in the veil.”

Cas nodded. “We should ask her about it.”

“Nah, she’s not gonna let us grill her about her dead partner like that. We’ll strike up a conversation at dinner. That should give us enough time to figure out what’s keeping Marcy here before she attacks tonight.”

Cas deferred to Dean’s hunting experience. “Well then what should we do until then?”

Dean grinned from ear to ear. “What do you think we should do? To the beach!”

---

Dean shut the trunk of the Impala and straightened his back, lifting his face to the breeze blowing in from the sea. He breathed in deeply. “God, smell that salt air…” he said with a wistful smile. When he turned to Cas, the angel was looking at him with fondness, warmth making his blue eyes brighter. Dean’s smile grew, and he lifted up his sunglasses to flash Cas a playful wink. Cas quickly ducked his head and started walking.

Dean bit back a groan as he followed behind him with their beach bag. What was he doing wrong? He was trying to be gentle, to give Cas enough space to adjust to the idea that they were together now on his own. After all of the crap they’d been through together, after so many things keeping them apart, he understood why Cas was struggling. Hell, he’d been squashing down his feelings for so long, Cas probably didn’t know how to let himself have this happiness.

At least, that was what Dean kept telling himself. Deep down, though, he was afraid that Cas’ feelings were changing.

“There’s a good spot,” Dean said, jogging up behind Cas and forcing down his depressing thoughts before they could meet up with his self-loathing and really cause problems. He grabbed Cas’ arm and tugged him toward an unoccupied part of the sand. The weather was a little too temperamental this time of year to attract huge crowds, but there were still plenty of people out enjoying the sunshine.

Cas let himself be led, his flip-flops flapping awkwardly over the sand. Dean laughed a little, even though his footing wasn’t much better. When they’d walked far enough away from the boardwalk, Dean unceremoniously dropped their bag and dug out a large blanket to lay out.

“Perfect,” he declared as he tipped up his sunglasses to survey his work. He plopped down on the blanket and shucked off his shirt. A quick glance up let him catch the way Cas’ eyes widened for a fraction of a second before his expression smoothed over. Dean wiggled his eyebrows at Cas, but he didn’t see because he turned around like a friggin’ Victorian lady in order to pull off his own shirt before he sat down in front of Dean, facing the ocean. Dean’s gaze swept down the broad, muscular expanse of Cas’ back, and he could barely contain the heat in his eyes and in his grin.

Only then did Cas glance over his shoulder and catch Dean’s eye. Dean bit his lip suggestively, his grin widening, but Cas’ cheeks turned lightly pink and turned his head away. He rubbed at the back of his neck. Nervous, huh? Well that was alright. Dean could lighten the mood.

He held up the bottle of sunscreen. “Alright, let’s spackle your back.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary, Dean,” Cas said, not turning around. His voice sounded even more gruff than usual, which was certainly saying something.

“Nonsense!” Dean was already squirting a healthy dollop of sunscreen in his palm. “You can get sunburned, same as the rest of us.”

Cas sighed heavily. His shoulders twitched, tense, but he didn’t protest when Dean slapped his hand at the middle of his back.

Dean set to work rubbing the cream into Cas’ warm skin. “See? This is nice. It’s like a mini-massage.” He made sure to move slowly, almost caressing him. His stomach fluttered with the faintest whisper of excitement. This was the closest thing he’d gotten to action in months, after all. And Cas’ back was nice. Broad and firm and far more muscular than Dean would have guessed. His heart did a little tapdance at knowing that he was allowed to freely ogle now.

“I like seeing you out of the trenchcoat,” Dean said, now using both hands to stroke up and down Cas’ skin. Cas tensed again. “I mean, you look good under all those layers,” Dean said hastily, afraid that the reminder of his waning Grace was too painful. “When did you get so beefy?” Dean slid his hands up to Cas’ shoulders and then down his thick arms. He squeezed them playfully as he shifted closer, letting his knees bump against him.

He leaned in close so he could almost whisper, “Wish I could see it somewhere other than the beach.”

Cas’ back became hard as marble. He lowered his head. “That’s enough, Dean,” he said softly. His voice trembled with some barely contained emotion Dean didn’t understand.

Disappointment rose up Dean’s throat like bile. “Seriously? I’m almost done!”

Cas twisted around, his face pulled into a scowl. His cheeks were flushed. “Dean! I’m an angel! I don’t need this!”

Dean pulled back. “What? I can’t even put sunscreen on you now?” he demanded.

Cas didn’t have an answer to that. He only glared, his eyes flickering with something Dean couldn’t quite figure out. Pain? Longing? Regret?

Knowing Dean’s penchant for screwing things up all the time, it was almost certainly the latter.

Cas breathed out a long, frustrated breath and rose to his feet. “I’m...going for a walk,” he said. He folded his arms over his bare chest.

“Cas,” Dean pleaded. What had he done wrong? Why was Cas so mad?

Cas shook his head. “Please, Dean.” With one last glance filled with that strange, heartache-inducing emotion, Cas turned and started walking down the beach alone.

Dean stared after him as he left. “What the hell?” he said under his breath. The sting of rejection quietly throbbed in his chest as he turned his gaze to the ocean. What had he done to piss Cas off? Had he really crossed a boundary, or was something else wrong? Cas had been so weird since he’d been back. Shouldn’t he be happy? Hell, telling Dean he loved him was the happiest Cas had ever been, right? That was part of his deal with The Empty!

Did he regret it? Did he change his mind? Maybe Cas really didn’t want to have Dean. Not for real. Maybe that was why Cas never told him how he felt before. He had to have known Dean loved him long before his deal with The Empty came along. Maybe there was a reason Cas hadn’t said anything about it before.

Maybe Cas knew that Dean would screw things up if they got together. Maybe he was trying to pull away from Dean, make it easier to break things off when it all came crashing down.

Dean stewed in his thoughts, his expression dark as he watched the waves. He lost track of time until a pair of children came racing past him, screaming in delight and startling him out of his thoughts. He pulled at his phone to glance at the time. Cas had been gone over half an hour. Way too long. Dean looked down the beach, almost expecting to see Cas trudging back up the beach back to him, but he didn’t see any sign of him. But Cas couldn’t have left left. Dean had the car keys! Quietly cursing, Dean pulled out his phone and dialed Cas’ number.

...And heard a familiar ringtone coming out of their bag.

“Dammit, Cas!” Dean growled as he hung up. He stood up, but he still couldn’t see Cas. Had something happened? What if he’d gone in the water? What if he’d gotten pulled out to sea by a riptide? Despite knowing Cas didn’t even know how to swim, worry dripped ice cold down Dean’s spine, and before he knew it he was walking down the beach along the path Cas had taken.

“Cas!” he called out, but he didn’t see him. Dean started walking faster. He scanned the beach for a familiar dark head of hair and the bright orange swim trunks Dean had picked out for him. “CAS!” He was beginning to fear the worst.

“You lookin’ for someone?” a concerned voice called out. Dean whipped his head around to a small family sitting underneath an umbrella.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, my buddy Cas.” Dean jogged over to them. “You see him walk by? Kinda beefy, kinda dorky. Dark hair, orange trunks, about yea high.” He held his palm flat about eye level.

The woman who spoke nodded. “Yeah, I think so. I saw him walking back toward town, though.” She pointed over her shoulder.

Dean furrowed his brow. Did Cas walk back on his own? Irritation flared in his chest as he forced a cordial smile and thanked the woman before jogging back the way he came. He didn’t see any sign of Cas back at their blanket either.

Dean scowled. Maybe he had walked back. Running off without a word was infuriatingly in-character for him. Dean cursed under his breath as he hastily packed up their things and started stomping up the beach toward the car.

What was even such a big deal? If Cas supposedly loved him so much, was rubbing his back that bad? Dean was trying to give him space, he really was, but the way Cas was acting, it was like he didn’t even like Dean, nevermind love him!

The thought clenched tight around Dean’s heart as he drove back to the bed and breakfast. Maybe he didn’t anymore. Maybe Cas was getting sick of him. Twelve years in each other’s lives, it was bound to happen eventually.

Maybe what angels considered love and what humans considered love was just different.

Dark thoughts still swirled in Dean’s head as he returned to the bed and breakfast and marched up the stairs.

“Dude, what the hell?!” Dean charged into their room, anger burning hot as his glare zeroed in on the angel sitting in a chair. “You can’t just go running off like that! You left your phone behind!”

Cas carefully closed the book he was reading. He was fully clothed again. “It’s not a long walk back here. I assumed you’d know where I’d gone.”

“I was worried sick about you! What if you went in the ocean and something happened?”

Cas narrowed his eyes. “I wouldn’t do that. You know I can’t swim.”

“You can’t just go stomping off whenever you get mad!”

Cas closed his eyes. “I’m not mad,” he said, though the growl in his voice suggested otherwise.

“Like hell you’re not!” Dean shot back. “So what is it? I can’t touch you now? It’s freakin’ sunscreen, Cas. Is it really that big of a deal?”

Cas’ eyes flew open. “Yes!” he said, deeply pained. “Dean, does it really matter so little to you that you’re okay with just ignoring it?”

Dean was brought up short. “Does what matter?”

“Me!” Cas plastered his hand over his chest. He almost looked like he could cry. “I told you how I felt and you insist on acting like nothing happened!”

Dean blinked. “What? That’s...that’s not true, Cas!”

“Dean! You didn’t say anything! Not once since you brought me back, have you said anything about the fact that I love you! And you may think that by ignoring it and trying to force things back the way they were before that you can lock up that Pandora’s Box again, but you can’t! I can’t. I can’t…”

Dean took a step forward, his expression darkening with confusion. “Cas, what’re you talking about?” He didn’t understand. Why did Cas look so hurt? So heartbroken? Cas loved him. Dean loved Cas. So why wasn’t he happy? What had Dean done wrong? “Cas, I--”

Cold mist curled up from Dean’s mouth.

They both went tense and still as they noticed just how cold the room had gotten. The lamp on the bedside table flickered.

“Shit,” Dean muttered under his breath. His eyes darted to the open dufflebag on their bed with all of their weapons.

He made a move for it, but a figure flickered into being in front of him. She was wearing a torn, bloody sundress. Her long, straw-colored hair was plastered to the half of her gaunt face where it was smashed in, blood staining it crimson. The ghost took a step toward Dean. Thick, dark blood dripped from her head but never reached the floor.

“Marcy,” Dean breathed. Guess she didn’t need to wait for nightfall after all.

“Coward,” the ghost menaced as she took another step closer. Dean carefully backed up. “Can’t even say it. Even when you’re hurting him. Coward!”

Dean’s eyes flickered to Cas, who was edging toward their weapons bag. He tried to make the movement quick, but the ghost noticed. With a vicious growl she flung out her hand and Cas went flying into the far wall.

“Don’t worry,” the ghost said to Cas, and the venom in her voice dropped into twisted sympathy. “I’ll take your pain away soon.”

Cas struggled to his feet as the ghost rounded on Dean again. Her outstretched hand aimed directly at Dean’s head, fingers curled into a wicked claw. But before she could touch him, Cas made another attempt at the duffle. She shrieked in fury and sent it spinning through the air toward the window. A single iron poker tumbled out of the open zipper as it flipped over and smashed against the glass, shattering it. The bag tumbled to the ground below.

Cas lurched for the poker. “Dean!” he called as he tossed it through the air, directly through the ghost. She howled and dissipated into smoke while Dean barely managed to close his fingers around the weapon. Cas and Dean stood back to back as they circled the room, Dean holding the iron poker at the ready.

“Salt,” Dean barked. “We need salt!” Except all of theirs was now two stories below. Dean silently cursed. “The kitchen! Go! I’m right behind you!”

Cas nodded and made for the door. The lights were flickering again. He and Dean narrowly made it into the hallway when their bedroom door slammed shut behind them. They raced for the stairs and nearly collided with Susan.

“Cas, Dean, what’s going on?” Her eyes were panicked, taking in the cut on Cas’ temple and the iron poker in Dean’s grip. Mist followed her words out of her mouth.

“Look out!” Dean reached for Susan, but he was flung backward by an invisible force. Marcy flickered into existence over him again. “Salt, Susan! We need salt!” he cried out before the ghost clamped its cold hand around his throat. Dean scrambled from his poker, but it had fallen just out of reach. His other hand grappled with Marcy’s, trying to pull it away.

He couldn’t see with the ghost pinning him down, but he was pretty sure he heard Susan’s footsteps racing away. Good. Even if she didn’t come back, at least she was somewhere safer. Black dots started to swim in Dean’s vision.

“Hey! Marcy!” A ceramic angel went flying through the air and smashed into a framed photo on the wall next to them, shattering the glass. Marcy snarled and whipped her head around. Her grip on Dean’s neck loosened a little, and Dean sucked in as many painful gasps as he could get.

“This is what you’re about, huh?” Cas goaded. He stood next to an accent table full of figurines, another ceramic angel in his hand, fat load of good that would do against a ghost. “Exacting revenge against shitty lovers?” Dean stretched his arm until his muscles strained. He could barely feel the length of the iron rod brush against his fingertips. If Cas could keep stalling for just a little longer... “I think anger has clouded your judgement.” Cas’ lips twisted into a bitter smirk. “You have no reason to attack Dean. Can’t you tell? He doesn’t love me.”

The statement caught Dean completely off-guard. His hand stilled as he gaped at Cas. “What?” he rasped around the ghostly hand on his throat. Didn’t love him!?

The ghost growled at Cas. She raised her arm as if to psychically toss him toward the stairway, but right at that moment, Susan barreled up the stairs, a blue canister of salt in her hand.

“I have the salt!” she said, and with panic and desperation in her eyes she blindly flung the open canister at Dean and the ghost. Salt flung in a wide arc and rained down on Marcy, who screamed and disappeared instantly.

Dean rolled onto his side, coughing weakly as he grabbed onto the iron poker and clutched it against his chest. Cas ran to him, only stopping to grab the canister of salt. He hastily drew a circle around them, draining the last of the salt on their protection ring. “Susan, get in the circle!” he commanded as he knelt beside Dean.

“You don’t think I love you?” Dean choked out between gasps for air. His head was spinning. Cas’ hand on his shoulder helped a lot, but when Dean asked his question Cas quickly yanked it away. “How could you think that?” he said, genuinely confused.

“What’s going on? Why did that...that thing look like my Marcy?!” Susan nearly flung herself into the circle with them. She clutched at her chest, casting her terrified gaze around the room.

“Her ghost,” Cas said, though he didn’t take his eyes off Dean. His brow furrowed. “Dean, you haven’t--”

“Ghost?!” Susan screeched. “Then what the hell are we doing standing here?!”

“Salt repels ghosts,” Cas replied with way more patience than Dean would have had. “She can’t come into the circle.”

“What’s going on?” Susan’s eyes went huge, her face going pale. “She...She killed those people last year, didn’t she? How do we stop her?”

“Usually burn her remains, if anything is left,” Cas said, “but she was cremated, wasn’t she? So something else is tethering her here. Perhaps a locket? Something she cherishes.”

Susan frowned, panicked eyes darting around in front of her as she mulled it over. “Her painting,” she said with a gasp. “The one in your room. She finished it right before our argument! Right before she ran out into the street and was hit by the car. It was precious to her. She put her everything into it, tried to use it to confess her love for me, and I...I was too much of a coward to say it back. That’s why we fought.”

Cas and Dean’s eyes met, and they both nodded. Dean grunted as he pushed himself to his feet, poker still clutched to his chest. “Susan, stay here. Whatever happens, don’t leave the circle. Cas, I’ll keep her busy. You burn the painting.”

As one unit Cas and Dean left the salt circle.

Immediately the hallway burst into chaos. Doors slammed shut everywhere. The knick-knacks and travel guides on the accent table went flying through the air. The lights flickered until their bulbs burst, leaving only the light of the window at the far end to help them see.

They ran.

“You don’t think I love you?” Dean demanded, because a deadly ghost hunt seemed as good a time as any to have this conversation. Some things were too damn important to wait for downtime.

“Because you don’t!” Cas snapped. He threw himself at the shut door of their room, but it was supernaturally sealed. He grunted and tried again. Marcy appeared at his side, a ghostly hand reaching for his chest, a snarl on her lips.

“Cas, of course I love you, you idiot!” Dean swung at Marcy, forcing her to disappear again. Cas slammed himself against the unmoving door. “How could you think I don’t?”

“Dean, I died--” Cas slammed into the door again. His eyes glowed faintly with his weakened Grace. “Telling you how I felt. And you said--” Another crash; the door cracked ominously. “Nothing about it since I’ve been back!”

Marcy flickered into being next to them again. Dean knocked her away with the poker.

“I thought you knew! I thought you didn’t love me and that’s why you never said anything!”

“I told you!” With one final crash, Cas burst through the door and into the room, Dean hot on his heels. They ran for the dresser. “I told you the one thing I wanted, I couldn’t have! That thing was you, Dean!” Cas yanked the painting off the wall and threw it on the ground, shattering its glass and exposing the paper.

Marcy screamed in fury and appeared in front of him. She flung him at the dresser just as Dean dispersed her with a forceful swing. He flipped the poker in his hand, readying himself to strike again while Cas scrambled to his feet, lighter freed from his pocket and held at the ready.

“Because of the Empty!” Dean insisted. Marcy’s form materialized again, and Dean raised his weapon as she approached. “You couldn’t have me because of the deal with the Empty!”

Cas fumbled with the lighter. “I can’t have you because. You. Don’t. Love me!” It finally lit. Cas threw it onto the painting, sending it up in flames.

Marcy howled in agony as her body sparked and burned. She raised her head skyward as if to escape from the rising flames, but in a flash of heat and bright orange light, she was gone, and Cas and Dean were left standing alone in the room.

They stared at each other in the sudden, violent silence. Cas’ face was a mask of frustration and pain.

“Dean, I’ve been back for months. Months. And you have said nothing about how you feel. Do not lie to me now because you feel sorry for me.” With one last heartbroken glare, Cas stomped out of the room, leaving Dean behind to stamp out the flaming remains of the painting.

Once Dean didn’t need to worry about burning the house down, he went looking for Cas. He found him outside, loading up their scattered weapons into the trunk of the Impala.

He looked shattered. His face was crumpled with pain, his eyes dull, deep furrows in his brow. It brought Dean up short. Guilt welled up so intense that Dean almost couldn’t say anything at all. Except, well, that had gotten him into this situation in the first place.

“I thought you knew,” Dean called across the distance between them. Cas stopped and turned to look at him. The bitterness in his eyes made Dean’s stomach churn. “I thought you knew,” he said again. He took a step toward Cas. “For years I thought you knew. But, you know, you’re an angel. I thought you didn’t...I thought you couldn’t…” He trailed off. Cas’ forehead was furrowed in confusion, but he was at least listening, so Dean swallowed down his discomfort and barreled forward. “I thought angels couldn’t fall in love. Except...then you died telling me you did. Telling me that the reason you couldn’t even tell me how you felt was because being happy would trigger your deal and…” He shrugged.

“You thought I was deliberately keeping us apart?”

“Because if you told me you felt the same, then we’d be together and you’d be happy and you’d die.”

The bitterness had faded from Cas’ eyes, replaced with something that Dean was loath to acknowledge looked a little bit like pity mixed with profound frustration. “So when I came back, you thought there wasn’t anything left to talk about?”

Dean scratched the back of his neck and took another step forward. “Yeah well…What else was there to say? You said you, you know, loved me. And I thought you knew that I, you know…” He trailed off.

“Dean.” Dean had never heard Cas sound so pained just saying his name. “You.” Cas scrubbed at his face. His mouth twitched as he struggled to find words for all the ways Dean had screwed up. Was continuing to screw up.

“The hoops that you jump through to avoid talking about your feelings astound me,” Cas finally said. He dropped his hand with a sigh of defeat, and Dean’s heart sank. This was it. The death rattles of a relationship that hadn’t even really started. Dean never had what he truly wanted, and he never would.

Dean ducked his head, unable to look Cas in the eye. “Right. Yeah. That’s me, alright.” He swallowed around the hard lump in his throat. The long drive back to Kansas was going to be awful.

“Say it,” Cas said softly. His words were a command, but when Dean looked up in surprise, his eyes were pleading. “Please,” he breathed, almost like he didn’t deserve to even ask, and something inside Dean cracked.

“I love you, Cas.” One step, two steps, he crossed the distance between them and threw his arms around Cas’ shoulders, clinging to him the way he wished he could have before the Empty took Cas away. “It’s you, Cas. It can only be you. It’s only been you for years. I promise.”

Cas’ next breath stuttered in his lungs. His arms wound tightly around Dean, desperate. “Dean,” he sighed, this time like a prayer.

“I’m right here, buddy.” Dean held him tightly, the way he should have when he first got Cas back from the Empty. The way Dean wanted to all these months when he thought...Well, when he was an idiot. “You can have me, you know. You already have me.”

Cas pulled back enough to look Dean in the eye. His eyes were glassy. Dean’s didn’t exactly feel dry either. ‘I wonder if I can kiss him,’ Dean thought, milliseconds before Cas did just that.

Cas’ lips were warm against his own, and Dean gasped softly as his hand wound through Cas’ thick hair to cradle the back of his head. His kiss was eager, if not clumsy, and Dean smiled a little as he let Cas take the lead anyway. When they finally pulled apart, Cas’ normally pale lips were flushed pink, and Dean’s soft smile morphed into a huge, affectionate grin.

“Hey,” Dean said, his voice surprisingly husky after a largely innocent kiss.

Cas smiled back. “Hello, Dean,” he said, and Dean couldn’t help it. He laughed. God, how he loved this angel.

“So whadya say, Cas?” Dean said when his laughter quieted. “Ready to get the hell outta Dodge?”

Cas’ hands slid down Dean’s back until they were resting on his hips. “Actually…” His gaze turned wistfully in the direction of the distant beach. “I had a different idea.”

---

“You sure this is okay, Cas?”

“Dean…”

“Cuz I mean, I want to respect your boundaries.”

“Dean!”

“And I totally understand if I’m crossing a line here.”

Cas twisted around and gave Dean and his closed bottle of sunscreen a baleful look. Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “If I get sunburned, you can get your own room tonight.”

“You’re probably not even going to sleep anyway,” Dean shot back.

“I’ll sleep just to spite you.” Cas scowled, but Dean could see the corners of his lips twitching playfully. With a rush of affection, Dean shifted so that Cas’ bare back was pressed against his chest and Dean could rest his chin on Cas’ shoulder. Cas went stiff against his body, but it only lasted a second before he practically melted into Dean’s hold. Dean wrapped his arms around him as he watched the waves.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Dean said with a sigh.

“Yes,” Cas breathed, but he wasn’t looking at the sea.

Heat rushed to Dean’s cheeks. He cleared his throat and kept his gaze solidly on the ocean. “You’re such a sap,” he grumbled weakly.

“You’ll get used to it.” Dean could see Cas’ smirk in the corner of his eye. Dean tightened his embrace.

“I dunno if I ever will,” he said quietly, a soft smile on his lips as he finally got to hold his angel.

#starrynightdeancas gift exchange #userstarry #deanwinchesteradjacent #destiel #deancas #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic #destiel fanfiction #deancas fanfiction #supernatural #spn #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #castiel #katie writes things #long post

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hyenahunt · 3 years

Text

Conquest: The Fool’s Fruit - 1

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Proofreading: royalquintet (JP & ENG)

Translation: hyenahunt

Jun: After all, you're just like the sun: someone who can make anything sparkle and shine — even a dirty lil' stray dog like me.

[Location: Reimei Academy Dorm Room (Jun, Kohaku)]

[Evening, a few days later]

Hiyori: ......

Jun: Ohii-saaan, I got you your faaavourite quiche, see~? Eat up and then get back to your place, or actually can ya just get out in general?

You've already graduated and moved off into the Starmony Dorms or something, yeah? You're gonna be a real pain if you keep taking up space here, honestly.

Since you've unlawfully occupied your old bed, my junior who's just moved in —

Sakura-kun’s his name — he ended up having to stay in a capsule hotel, y'know.

You're always, always causing trouble for other people — please knock it out already.

Hiyori: ...Sniff. You've got some nerve saying that, Jun-kun.

Jun: I'm already a third year now, soon to be a fully-fledged member of society. At least lemme be frank with you.

You're already an adult by now, too, so won’tcha please not act so lame in front of me, okay?

Hiyori: ......

Jun: ...The only role models I ever had around me were sorry excuses for grown-ups, like my shitty old man and Jin Sagami.

So I can't pretend I know it all, of course.

But for example, even these days we team up with Hidaka-sensei for work as Lilith, and though his personality's got its own issues, he's a first-class adult when it comes to society.

I mean, he's a super idol and a living legend, after all — he's got a real prolific career, right?

As for how he manages, that guy's practically a robot. He just follows any order given to him, no matter how unreasonable

After all, by conducting himself according to everyone's expectations, he can make all their dreams come true.

Having a guy like that around is super convenient, so no one would ever wanna let him go — just like how you'd keep a fridge or phone around.

You might not like it, but Ohii-san, please put in the effort to become someone like that, too.

If you don't, you're gonna get sidelined right away. As the young master of a respectable family, blessed with a good upbringing, you're probably not aware of this, but...

Anyone who gets in the way of supporting the pack usually gets thrown out in a blink.

To this day, everything operates in accordance to that shitty law of the jungle, where only the fittest survive — and that includes human society, too.

And if that doesn't suit your fancy, then why not just quit your job and hurry on home~? After all, I'm sure your family's rich enough to keep you fed for the rest of your life without you having to lift a finger.

Hiyori: Ugh... Jun-kun, you should be nicer to me when I'm this sad. How ungrateful.

Jun: Really, now? I'm sticking by your side right now because I'm grateful, aren't I?

In a usual case — or well, in the CosPro way of doing things, a partner who's started boycotting work would get their ass dropped right away, wouldn't they~?

Hiyori: ......

Jun: It seems like they're in a fix right now, y'know.

All 'cause you're skipping out on any work that has to do with the project — with Conquest. For the time being, I've been able to show up and smooth things out for you, at least.

But I'm not good enough to stand in for you just yet. We really need you there, so please do your best to cheer up.

When it's something you don't wanna do but gotta anyway, deal with it by shutting your eyes tight and enduring it. It's just like getting your booster shots.

You've always had a bad habit of throwing tantrums over things you don't like, forcing others to give in and let you off.

Though I was kinda the same way back when we had to go back to your old school, Yumenosaki, and perform for Summer Live, actually.

When it comes to work, your colleagues aren't your parents and they're not gonna go easy on you or anything.

So there's no point in saying "I don't wanna". I mean, even with Summer Live I came out of it saying I was glad I took part, didn't I?

It should be the same case for you here, probably.

After all, you're just like the sun: someone who can make anything sparkle and shine — even a dirty lil' stray dog like me.

Hiyori: ......

Jun-kun, you've certainly gotten a lot better with words. Back when I first met you, all you'd ever respond with were scant acknowledgements like "....mm" or "...gotcha".

Jun: Hmph. It's 'cause you're so pointlessly chatty that I've had to train up my own tongue to match you, y'know.

I've been putting in quite a lot of effort, if you haven't exactly noticed.

Hiyori: Of course I have. I'm the type who gets completely captivated watching what I love, after all.

All the same, even if I watch all the while, I can never quite say I know them inside and out...

No matter what, there'll always be moments when I have to look away, and in the end all I see is what's on the surface.

We as Eden have been given such a grandiose name, but by no means are we anywhere close to being all-knowing and almighty gods.

Even if one were to take a bite out of the Fruit of Knowledge, they'll remain nothing more than a foolish human — one who can only ever dream of becoming a god...

✦✦✦✦✦

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#hiyori tomoe #jun sazanami #enstars #ensemble stars #enstars translation #type: event #s: conquest #era: !!#status: complete #hyenahunttl

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

White Carnation

Ex!Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

a/n: iwa-chan being your ex is so painful and numbing

huhuhu angst isnt my forte but this is an exception bc chi is my sista

anon request: ex-boyfriend/childhood friend iwaizumi would be super angsty but i have no idea what they’d fight about ,, now imagine if after being kitaichi’s manager/medic, reader becomes karasuno’s medic/temporary manager (until kiyoko got recruited),, then she couldn’t come to the seijoh practice match so she has no idea her team fought her ex,,, only to find out during inter-high and everyone’s like wtf??? that spiky haired ace is your ex?? meanwhile kageyama’s like “yall didn’t know?” — chi

ong this finna be painful

its always been the three of you

with living across the oikawas came great perks

even way before you could remember, you were always with the 2 other boys: your neighbor across your house, tooru, and his best friend who practically lived there, hajime

hajime first saw you when you were covered in dirt after you were trying to catch a butterfly for tooru at the back and oikawa pushed you out of the way into a puddle of mud when he saw a bug

iwa stared at you then immediately said ‘my name is iwaijumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

yep thats really how it went

and poor babie didnt know how to pronounce his ‘z’s yet so it sounds like ‘j’s :(

while tooru liked you because you werent like other girls who stayed inside and played dolls instead playing outside

you played with him at his back yard with the volleyball he owned and always made him laugh and have fun

iwa liked you because you didnt shy away from bugs, instead you were braver than tooru and even helped iwa look for any beetles and caught them for him to keep as pets

they liked you because you were like them

you were like one of the bois

but that kinda hurt you in the future

as you all grew up, you started going through yanno teenager things

like you started to have crushes

specifically on your best friend, iwaizumi hajime

thankfully tooru didnt see you like that and still saw you as one of the bois and saw you as that annoying twin sister

but unfortunately, iwa did too

every time you made an effort to do something to emphasize that you were, hello, a girl, he would laugh and tease you

‘hehe i didnt think you even knew what a dress was!’

was his comment when you came over wearing a yellow sundress with flats

tooru, who you shared these secrets with, gave you a worried glance but you smiled, covering up the hurt

‘meh. my mom forgot to dry my clothes so i had to wear these old clothes’

no, they werent old

they were just bought yesterday with the intention of finally being recognized as girl and complimented

but the person it was for, couldnt even be bothered to remember that you werent just one of the boys and that you possibly wanted to be told that you were pretty or cute

your other best friend noticed your quietness and he stood up from his crouching position and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him

your teary eyes made him sigh but he grinned at you

‘its really pretty, y/n-chan! you should wear it more often! pretty things deserve to be seen and complimented’

god why couldnt you have a crush on oikawa tooru instead

why did it have to be towards the boy who was too caught up with catching bugs and playing ball to ever see you differently and has never said a single praise towards you?

‘what do you think, iwa-chan? isnt she pretty?’

oikawa hinted but hajime remained his eyes on the tv as the players hit the ball, too distracted to even be bothered to look at you

‘she looks the same’

he mumbled and your nose stung and eyes watered, looking down to hide the wobbling of your lips

‘its okay, kawa-chan. can i wear your clothes for now? i dont like this dress thats why i never wore it’

oikawa tried to stop you but you were already straight up the stairs and towards his room

he angrily stomped over to iwa and slapped his arm, startling the other boy and him snarling in pain

‘what the-’

‘youre so dumb. youre so mean. i wonder where she went wrong and what she saw. seriously’

he ranted and moved to sit back on the floor but not before kicking iwaizumi, making him fall on his side

‘OI KUSOKA-’

‘so whos winning?’

your voice interrupted iwa’s mid-scream and he looked up from the floor to see you wearing an alien hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts that were a little too loose so they drooped by your knees

your originally curled and elegantly braided hair was now pulled up into a bun by a scrunchie that you left around the house from years ago

there was a bit of redness around your eyes and iwa scrambled up to check if you were okay since your face looked swollen

‘oi, did you eat something weird? your face is all red so youre probably having a reaction’

he fretted and you watched as his hands glided across your face and held you by the shoulders to take a closer look

‘yea, a reaction from a bad reaction’

thankfully iwa was too busy checking to hear oikawa snarkily whisper and you sent him a glare that made him quiet down

‘haji-kun, im fine’

you dismissed and side stepped to go sit next to oikawa, completely brushing him off

now iwa was confused

you would usually smile up at him, say ‘aw~ are you worried about me, haji-kun?’ then skip over

not frown and act so coldly

‘oi, y/n, what-’

‘lets go to the bakery! theres a sale going on there!’

oikawa shouted which made you jolt in surprise

he knew of his best friend’s beginning interrogation but he knew you were too upset to be bothered by hajime’s questions

‘they have a buy one get one sale on milk bread! and those-those treats you like! theyre on sale too!’

omg oikawa is a real one 🥺

oikawa blinked harshly at you to go along with the act and you stuttered and nodded

‘uh-eung! yea!’

that was probably the moment that iwaizumi started noticing

except he thought it was a pining between his best friends rather than you towards him

ofc iwa was a loyal friend

he thought that you and oikawa were two people who were crushing on each other yet too afraid to say anything

tbh he shouldve seen this coming because duh you were an incredibly pretty girl and oikawa was the handsomest guy in the whole area!

it was almost,,, natural for you both to gravitate towards each other

maybe thats why,,,

he started to distance himself to give you both the space and want without him in between

maybe thats why,,,

he started to feel these feelings of,, jealousy?? like he started to feel a little scared and honestly he wasnt sure who to be jealous of bc he knew once you started dating, you’d both be too busy to hang out with him

maybe thats why,,,

he was no longer your friend

iwaizumi hajime became a simple stranger you would just pass by in the hall

it happened around the 2nd year of middle school

you and oikawa were still close friends but you have drifted away into not being as close while you and iwaizumi became,,,, distant

basically strangers

the boy you used to dream about when you were 8 and dreamt of marrying once you were old enough

he was no longer him

before, you and iwa were actually really close without oikawa

like you would hang out when oikawa was too busy with takeru

you both would go to the arcade and play games with no fear of oikawa whining and complaining to take turns

you had a lot of fun together and yet, all of a sudden, everything stopped

because iwa knew how,,, possessive oikawa was

he thought that if he were to continue being friends with you, he would risk losing his best friend out of jealousy or misunderstandings and he didnt want that precious bond to be ruined by a girl

even if that girl,,,

was you

thats why it was so awkward when you came over to oikawa’s house after so long and seeing him there, eating breakfast in the kitchen

your best friend didnt want to tell you that iwa spent the night bc quite frankly, oikawa was already fed up with this

you think he didnt know?

you think he didnt know that iwa distanced himself due to an unknown misunderstanding?

you think he didnt know that you also distanced yourself due to being hurt as he casted you aside?

and oikawa was also worried

he didnt want to ever bring up your name with iwa bc to be honest, he didnt think iwa even liked you all that much

he thought that iwa only tolerated you for so long bc you were the only girl who wasnt in love with oikawa and knew you long enough to be comfortable w you

but babie oiks is misunderstood that :(

he didnt want to ever bring up his name with you bc he knew how sensitive it was for you and how sad and pained you were when he suddenly stopped even replying to your texts

one time when you cornered him, he looked angry and gently pushed you back and quickly walked away

no he was scared that oikawa could see you both and misunderstand

‘just,,, stay away from me, okay? its better this way’

god you wanted to scream at him and shout at him and punch him but he kept silent and refused to answer your questions and refused to acknowledge your existence

you were so confused and you were just so hurt and eventually, you became indifferent to him and treated him the same way

anyways

you stepped into the house, not even bothering to shout your arrival and quickly wandered through the hallway before turning the corner to go to the kitchen

but you stopped, seeing the familiar hair with olive eyes eating breakfast on the kitchen island, also stopping with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth at the sight of you

your gazes clashed and you blinked before your lips formed into a thin line, turning and going to the fridge and look for food

iwa wasnt surprised

he figured you were both getting closer to dating and you were already basically living in his house

it all makes sense

BRUH THEYVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEY WERE LTR BORN LIKE BLS THEYRE JUST SIBLINGS

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

‘h-how are you’

he mumbled, trying to fix the awkward silence while cursing inside of how long oikawa was taking to shit

you hummed, taking a water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut, harder than necessary

‘oh, now you see me?’

you really didnt mean for it to be a snarky comment but it came out before you even realized what you said

he winced

‘listen, im-’

‘oh? youre here, y/n-chan!’

oikawa’s voice cut him off and he returned back to his bowl of rice, leaving you standing there furrowing your brows

you shrugged, already knowing that hajime was like this, so you turned to look at oikawa with a wrinkled nose at the sound of the toilet flushing

‘tooru, did you drink straight milk again? you know how it makes your stomach upset’

you chided and tooru turned red at the implication of his dookie

‘o-oi! y/n-chan! of course id know if i was lactose intolerant!’

i just think how funny it would be like the irony of his love for milk bread yet being lactose intolerant at the same time

he huffed and you nodded but not exactly believing him

‘kay kay’

you teased and walked to the living room but oikawa caught you in a headlock and he ruffled your hair while you complained and whined to let you go

you were giggling as tooru was giving you noogies, feeling the tension leave your body

all while iwa was watching

maybe it was because he stopped hanging out with you and havent seen you like this for almost a year

so carefree and so happy as you scored higher than him at the hoop game and he would begrudgingly let you hug him when he managed to win you a doll from the claw machine

but yea he definitely forgot your smile

he forgot how it looked like bc the last time you met gazes, you sent him a hurt glance and looked away and he knew he deserved that

god he hated it

but no, he was doing this for tooru

he was doing this because his best friend liked someone who actually deserved him

but dear god why did it hurt

iwa was starting to wonder if he made the right choice

he could easily handle you two dating

right?

maybe that was when iwa started to realize,,, he was starting to feel different towards you

the time apart definitely made him remember why he was friends with you

you weren’t like those girls he saw in tv or outside with the frilly clothes and the makeup and the fancy hair

no that wasnt you

you were different

you were too lazy to even pick out a cute outfit, opting for comfort with one of their sweatshirts and sweatpants

you preferred to chase after butterflies rather than sitting inside bc hajime’s adventurous spirit latched itself on to you too

you would usually climb the tree to get the volleyball that got stuck up in the branches bc tooru was too scared of heights and you wanted to prove your strength and capability

god you were so different

what if you liked him instead?

iwa startled himself with that thought in the middle of eating and caused him to choke on his rice

tooru noticed him coughing violently so he grabbed the water bottle from your hand and threw it straight towards the boy

iwa snapped the cap open,not caring where that water came from, and chugged it down before sighing in relief after the quite scary situation

you then realized what happened and you turned red, speedwalking into the living room

oiks totally didnt do that on purpose and he was doing the lenny face at you before switching masks and wearing a worried one for iwa

‘iwa-chan! you need to slow down!’

he chided and iwaizumi yelled at him to be quiet, completely clueless to the fact that he just shared an indirect kiss with you

but you did and lordie did you hate it

from then on,,,

iwa was just seeing you everywhere

iwa saw you from his classroom when you would go hang out with your new friends outside

he noticed you not even being too loud, only speaking up when asked while the others opted to continue talking about nonsense you probably gave no care about with how you secretly rolled your eyes

those moments made him laugh

the next time you both ran into each other was during his morning practice

oikawa phoned you in the morning while you were getting ready, saying he accidentally left his knee pads at home and he was already at school but you werent so he wanted you to bring them to him

you knew damn well that iwaizumi hajime would be there but you didnt care because youre not even friends anymore after he just dropped you like that

YES SISTER WE DESERVE BETTER

so thats why you found yourself pushing the metal gym door open at 6 in the morning and shouting oikawa’s name

his eyes brightened at your voice and he dropped the ball to run towards you by the door

‘oh my god thank you so much, y/n-chan!’

he shouted and hugged you out of excitement while you cringed and hit him to get off of you

‘ew dont touch me trashykawa’

you mumbled and he whined, finally stepping away with a pout

iwa was watching you both from the side and he blinked, wondering if you were trying a new hairstyle

if not, then you changed something bc currently, you practically glowing to him

he watched you scold oikawa for being forgetful and him begging for forgiveness but also thanking you before he was scoldede again by the coach

but the coach was relieved that he could finally play with the proper equipment and not risk anymore injuries

oikawa was already bidding you good bye and you were about to turn to leave when you finally met the many gazes of iwaizumi hajime

your eyebrows unconsciously furrowed together and your lips turned to a frown then you sharply turned and walked through the doors

unbeknownst to him, oikawa watched as his best friend’s face turned hurt at your expression and remained staring at the door you just went out of even when you were already gone

‘iwa-chan, lets get to practice’

after that

iwa has concluded god has decided to be mean to him

bc who was giving him these weird heart attacks and tummy aches at the simple sight of you?

literally he ignored you for a good time yet now hes noticing you again?

what kinda unfairness-

but you proved to accept his previous behavior by not even giving him a single glance anymore

that made him sad so iwa would sometimes stop doing what hes doing so he could freely stare at you laugh at something a classmate said during class

thats totally not creepy iwa lol

he doesnt even know hes doing it sometimes bc hes so absorbed on trying to figure out the answers of his questions

but the worst was when he got caught

you sat at the very front and oikawa and iwa sat at the back

it was lunchtime and you were eating with a few girls and a guy from another class and yall were laughing and talking together

iwa had oikawa and these other guys makki and matsukawa from the class next door to eat lunch with

can i please just dream that our third year seijoh boys were actually friends since the very beginning like pls and thanks

oikawa was rambling about how some girl giving him cookies the other day when he noticed iwa not listening but staring at you while moving his chopsticks around

poor iwa-chan was confused as to how even with messy hair, you still looked beautiful?

like no matter what angle or how you turned, the light always seemed to hit you perfectly to accent out your features

how was that possible?

‘-and she just-iwa-chan? iwaizumi?’

he called out and said boy jolted, eyes widening at the confused, bored, and knowing eyes

‘hm?’

‘oh? were you looking at y/n-chan?’

oikawa teased and the gojira fanboy waved his hands around to deny that statement

but makki chuckled and leaned in

‘hm, wouldnt blame ya. shes really pretty you know? some guy in our class saw the girls ranking and shes in the top 5′

okay iwa was angry

was it because everyone else noticed how pretty you are?

was it because you were part of this list?

was it because his own friend said you were pretty?

why did he even care anyways?!

oikawa smirked at the clenched fist under the table and decided to poke fun even more

‘oh really? well, it doesnt really matter because its always the girl’s decision right? but most of the time, their choice is utter trash’

the meme duo shared a confused look

‘hah? what are you going on about, oikawa’

oikawa internally apologized to you after what hes about to do because hes so tired and exhausted of having to be so careful and walking on eggshells between you two

so he did an oikawa move

‘yanno how y/n-chan and i have been friends since we were little ducklings right? so ages ago, like ages ago, little y/n-chan had a crush on this brute bc for some reason she thought he was brave or something and apparently thats appealing to girls rather than the nice and gentlemanly type. but of course, yanno how this goes, he pooped up and now hes stuck on doing this weird stalking staring thing. right, iwa-chan~?’

okay im sorry i take it back oikawa is a bitch

iwa shook

you,,, had a what on who?!

a crush on him?!

is he the brute?!

so it wasnt oikawa?

it was to him?

then why did you act like that?

why did you both act like that?

‘what’

iwaizumi mumbled and he met oikawa’s pointed gaze

‘hmm,,,, you dont have to worry about it anymore though since theyre not even friends anymore. but listen to me and listen well, makki, mattsun, if you hurt a girl even once, theyre never going to forget it. my sister said that apparently theres this little voice in their head that tells them that theyre going to get hurt again and thats where their trust issues begin to develop and--IWA-CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’

iwa was already out of his seat and straight walking towards you and your group before stopping beside your chair

your friends quieted down at the sight of the known boy and you blinked then turned your head to see him, your eyes instantly turning dark and looking away immediately

‘what the hell do you want’

you hissed and natsu almost choked on his rice ball if it wasnt for another girl patting his back

‘it was me, right? all along, not oikawa, but me?’

his meek voice made you look up in confusion

‘what are you talking-’

‘you chose me instead him’

then it was like a click that you realized what he said

‘how did you know’

‘i-i’

he stuttered but was cut off when the teacher finally arrived to announce the end of lunch and iwa was forced to go back to his seat

the whole class time, you would sneak glances back and iwa would be staring at his paper while oikawa would wink at you and give you smirks

OH GOD HE TOLD HIM

after class you stomped up to the brunette haired boy

‘how could you?! why did you tell-’

‘lets talk, y/n? please?’

iwa was holding your arm and you glared at him before turning away and walking away

oikawa patted him on the shoulder in good luck and whispered,

‘get your girl’

the rooftop ledge looked really delicious right now

no words were exchanged so you were both just silent with you staring at him while he was looking off to the side

‘so what? now you know and so what do you want?’

you spoke first and iwa guiltily met your eyes

‘everything was,,, a mess. i misunderstood and i didnt communicate and i,,, messed up’

he mumbled the last part but you caught it perfectly causing you to scoff

‘damn right you did. so now you know and then youre going to do the cliche thing they do in those dramas where you magically profess your love for me and-’

‘hey y/n lets date’

you froze and looked at him shocked with wide eyes and jaw dropped

‘excuse me? who are you to say that?!’

you shrieked

‘first you think i have some big crush on tooru and this caused you to basically drop me like a damn pencil and second youre asking me to date you? iwaizumi hajime i thought you were always the smarter one. what the hell are you spouting you damn imbecile-’

iwa did the only thing he thought of

he quickly leaned forward and pecked your lips

he saw some guy do it in a telenovela that his mom watched a week ago and that was how the girl got silent so iwa thought it would be smart to shut you up that way

and it worked

bc you were so conflicted: angry, confused, sad, happy

you was the whole range of emotions in one second

‘i was stupid. and i was dumb. i wanted to give you and shittykawa space because i thought he liked you and he would be mad and misunderstand if we continued hanging out without him. but you shouldve told me you liked me, baka. maybe i wouldve come to like you back’

iwa rambled but your eyes watered and you huffed, slapping him across the face but pulled his collar to kiss him again

tbh iwa was shook bc he got 2 kisses in a row today and hes never been kissed before and its from this really pretty girl

‘how dare you kiss me and still not like me’

you seethed when you pulled away

but iwa held your hands

‘im starting to come to. give me time and i’ll accept your confession’

and give him time you did bc you finally were able to try and mend that friendship again and soon, you were already starting to fall back in love with him

but iwa also

during the end of your 2nd year, iwa nervously tugged you to the rooftop and you smirked

‘what? you gonna profess your love for me haji-kun?’

you teased and expected him to laugh and smack you gently but he didnt

he turned red and he looked down at his shoes as he magically produced a flower out of nowhere

‘please accept me, y/n!’

he shouted while holding out the single white carnation

your eyebrows scrunched and you grabbed the flower from his hands before punching him weakly

‘stupid! stupid haji-kun! i already accepted you! since we were five! how could you not see my feelings’

you whimpered, trying to hide the blush on your face but he smothered you to a hug, making you both topple over in the process

you had the cliched term of ‘summer love’

of course you still hung out with tooru but you both would hang out other days just you both

like you and iwa liked going over to some old playground by your house and you both would watch the sky on top of the slide assembly while talking about stupid stuff and the future

‘haji-kun, do you know what you want to be when youre old?’

you asked and he turned his head to look at you but you were focused on the stars

‘gojira’

he simply replied and you giggled, reaching over to hit his chest

‘baka. you cant be gojira-san’

iwa found himself giggling with you before he reached down to softly interwine your fingers and hold them up to look at them

‘hm, i dont really know. maybe a volleyball player. or someone in the volleyball team, i dont know’

you hummed, knowing him and tooru’s shared love for the sport

‘i wanna be a doctor. i want to save lives and help people and make money too! my mothers friend offered to intern me but apparently im still too young’

you pouted

iwa listened to you but then a lightbulb rang in his head

‘oi, y/n’

he started and you looked at him

‘you can be our manager. or medic. or doctor person. that bastard is going to push himself even harder because naoki-senpai gave him that damn position and he might kill himself trying to beat that farmer dude. besides, shittykawa is going to be the captain next year and i’ll be vice so youd easily get it anyways. so you in?’

you blinked at him before breaking out to a smile

‘eung! i wanna see my baby play what he loves!’

iwa’s face contorted to disgust

‘bABy?! iM nOt a BABY! im A mAn!! mAN!!’

‘mhm, okay. my mans, haji bara arms is my mans’

your relationship is very balanced with the perfect ratio of crackhead and seriousness and understanding bc as we ALL KNOW EVERYTHING STARTED W A MISUNDERSTANDING

like if he accidentally said something that hurt your feelings like that dress incident from years ago btw you brought it up to him and told him you were practically traumatized by that and he kept on apologizing and appearing at your doorstep with a white carnation in apology you would gently tell him bc communication is K E Y and he would tell you sorry and you guys would understand and make up

you guys were so lovey dovey that ltr oikawa would fake gag and throw up to the side when he catches you guys even doing things like holding hands

like bls he sees that flesh to flesh contact and he wretches his breakfast

‘ew, its the settling down for me’

‘its the flatness of the ass for me’

you stuck your tongue out while he pouted and iwa looked so proud like oml

you guys were still at the honeymoon phase where everything was peaches and rainbows and it continued until your 3rd year

as mentioned above, iwa basically gave you the managerial position

like yall were walking to school during the first day talking about how worried yall were at passing your classes when suddenly he was all like ‘ill see you in the gym later?’

you smiled and blinked confusingly

‘hm? you want a cheerleader there, baby?’

he flushed red at the nickname and furrowed his eyebrows

‘baka, stop calling me that’

you giggled and dodged his gentle smack but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close to his chest

‘i thought we already agreed that you would be our medic slash manager? i mean, it could give you experience for the future right?’

you rested your chin on his front to look up at him and your face held a teasing smirk

‘hmmm~~~ haji-kun just admit it. you want me to be there to cheer you on~’

you teased and nuzzled your cheek on him

iwa scoffed but he couldnt help a soft smile appearing

‘i mean-yea, but its for the future so ill help you every way i can’

‘oya? the future? will you marry me in the future, haji-kun?’

‘MARRY?! HOW DID YOU GET MARRY OUT OF THAT, BRAT’

‘AAWWWWW DONT BE SUCH A TSUNTSUN HAJI-KU-ACKDKJFSLKJNOT THE HAIR!!!’

sure enough you were at the gym after school

the coaches knew you werent a fangirl of oikawa bc hes seen you since the very beginning and oikawa clears you are actually a sister to him and you were fit for the job

ofc hes captain and someone as good as oikawa was going to get what he wants

the gym was full of newbies and recruits hoping to get into the powerhouse team and your eyes scanned to find those ridiculously pretty olive eyes that belonged to your beloved-

‘HAJI-KUN~~!!!’

you waved and shouted loudly, gaining his and everyone else’s attention as well

the underclassmen cooed and awed at you bc their senpai who was famous for being really pretty was in the building

‘waaaa its l/n-senpai’

‘shes so pretty’

‘oMG shes righT iN FroNT oF me!!’

yea you get the gist

the poor ‘haji-kun’ was shrinking under the attention and was growling at oikawa’s teasing look but he begrudgingly held his arms out for you to run into them and snuggle into him

‘hmmm i missed you, haji-kun. im really sad we’re in different classes this year. but then again! i can be here with you!’

you pouted and he ruffled your hair affectionately

‘why else do you think i offered it brat’

oikawa rolled his eyes and gagged before taking your arm to the coach so he could sort you out

‘honestly! not in front of the children, okay?!’

but everything was quickly resolved and you were finally officially their manager/medic

you did managerial duties and you were the go-to when someone falls harshly or gets hurt in any way

in between homework, school, reading medical books, and practice, you and iwa havent spent a lot of time together and tbh that was quite straining your relationship??

like it was something that you saw coming and you both even had a talk about it but you still feel like you didnt prepare enough when it did come

one day, it was monday and there was no practice so you and iwa were walking home together

he squeezed your hand occassionally and you would sing and hum while walking

and omg his heart would balloon up when you would smile up at him and giggle when you would catch him staring

he honestly thought youd both hang out and just lay on the couch, snuggle, yanno the routine

but once you pulled out your textbooks, notebooks, and pens, he was confused

like he even held your hands and stopped you from pulling anything else out

‘y/n? i thought we were,, watching a movie or something?’

you blinked and shook your head

‘i need to study for a test and i still need to memorize how to treat a sprain, haji-kun. there’s more important things to do right now. maybe later?’

more important things?!

more important than showering you with love?

more important than even spending a second with him?

now, dont get him wrong, iwaizumi hajime was by no means a clingy and possessive boyfriend

he understood the boundaries and he understood the priorities

but dear god its been WEEKS since he even hung out w you since your entire schedule seemed to throw him out of loop and acted as if he didnt exist

and now, he was aggrivated and irritated and he wanted nothing but to just cuddle his girlfriend

you noticed his huff and pout but he remained silent

you quirked an eyebrow and placed your pen down

‘haji? whats wrong?’

his eyes snapped to you and you knew now he was angry

‘oh? were you able to spare a few seconds for dear old me?’

you were taken aback and you knew there was a fight brewing so you hid your growing irritation and calmly put your things aside

‘hajime, what are you on about?’

you pried and he looked shocked, almost offended

‘what am i on about? what am i on about? y/n, do you know the last time i even came over? the last time i held you and just talked?’

his voice got louder by every word and you quickly stood up

‘dont you dare raise your voice at me, hajime. if we have a problem, we talked over it calmly. we dont yell or shout, nothing gets resolved. we talked about this’

but he scoffed

‘talked? when was that? when did we actually just talk? hm? because I sure as hell dont remember it’

youve only seen hajime angry once and it was when you lied to him to go spend time with oikawa

okay in your defense, oikawa was having a panic attack and he begged you not to tell iwa because he didnt want to be scolded by iwa even though you kept telling him that iwa wasnt like that

and theres a reason as to why its only been a one-time thing because iwa was known to have patience that was as long as the damn nile river

except for oikawa bc it seems oikawa just cuts that patience by a million

and when he finally snaps, its when he couldnt take it anymore and he finally gets loose

when iwaizumi hajime was angry, you really done it

you didnt really know how you handled that anger so you were at a loss and you were feeling conflicted and pained at the way he looked at you

‘h-hajime,,,’

you started and he looked at you expectantly

‘well? when did we last actually talk outside the school premises y/n?’

there was that inner witty voice of yours that wanted to say ‘right now?’ but you held it in bc he was completely serious

‘hajime, please understand. i-i dont want to let anyone down! my grades! the team! i-’

‘but what about me, y/n?’

he tiredly asked

‘do those things-those people- matter more than me? and i really really dont want to ask that but im so so confused y/n’

despite sounding manipulative, you knew iwa was feeling defeated and he couldnt help but ask those questions and sound so desperate

so you scrambled to sit next to him on the couch and held him against you

‘of course you matter to me-haji you mean everything to me, you understand? god, if an adult hears me theyd think im crazy but i love you, hajime. i love you and im so sorry if i ever made you feel that way because i really didnt mean to, okay? im so sorry’

you sobbed and he turned to fully envelop you into his arms and he sighed contently, remembering how good it felt to have you right there

‘no, im sorry, doll. i was being clingy and i didnt mean to lash out, i-’

you slightly let go and cupped his face

‘nonono you were perfectly valid. what you felt was perfectly reasonable. i havent been a good girlfriend lately, huh?’

you sadly smiled but he kissed you, holding you even closer

‘youre always a good one to me. always. just with a not good schedule but we can fix that, right?’

SORRY I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FIGHTING SCENE BC ITS ANGSTY AND I DONT DO WELL WITH ANGST BC IT MAKES ME CRY 😭

tbh that was really your only big fight

even when you guys graduated middle school, you both were still quite happy and you both worked hard to make time for each other

HOWEVER

when high school arrived, you both had chosen an extremely hard decision

you chose to go to karasuno while oikawa and iwa went to seijoh

which was a,,,, hard and difficult decision

in fact, you both didnt have a fight per se, just a disagreement that ended in like 30 minutes lmao

tbh its so scary and concerning of how rarely you both have bad times and how quickly it gets resolved

BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS AN ANGST REQUEST SO ILL OF COURSE BRING IN THE SADNESS

you were busy with karasuno and you were actually taking college courses since you wanted to have a good record if you ever wanted to get into a medical field

that meant you had a lot of homework and most of your time was spent with schoolwork or interning for that family friend mentioned earlier

and you were also a manager for the volleyball team bc karasuno is a butt and they require you to have an after school club

so that meant,,,

no time for iwa

and fate just so happens to hate you bc the days you did have off, he would be busy with volleyball and he wouldnt be able to spend time with you

even weekends were like that

eventually, you both went for 2 months with no contact, just a few text messages and calls

and that strained your former strong relationship

and you knew that iwa was getting angry again with how he even typed his responses

‘want me to bring over snacks for the team?’

‘its okay. wouldnt want you to waste time or anything’

like that type of bull

you were getting increasingly worried because you havent had a good proper time to talk to him about it and you didnt want to fight over the phone

your best friend, kiyoko, noticed your anxious ticks and she snapped you out of your current daydream

‘hey? y/n? you okay?’

she gently asked and you blinked before nodding

‘mhm. just,,, thinking’

but she didnt buy that lie because you went back to chewing your lips and eyes even watering

‘i can revise your notes for you, y/n. and the team isnt doing anything big so i can handle it. you just go see him after school bc i cant handle you being sad anymore’

kiyoko gently smiled and you almost cried bc finally! you were able to clear your schedule enough to go visit your boyfriend

at the end of the school day, you bolted out of there and you were running and huffing all the way to seijoh bc you really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible

the gym was clear in view and you smiled, looking forward to seeing your beloved boy, when you saw him and oikawa being surrounded by girls

now keep in mind, youve suffered through middle school with oikawa and you were his best friend and has known him since you were a toddler

so you know of his looks and the attraction it brought him from all the females

so that didnt really bother you

but what bothered you was the horde of girls that stuck on to your boyfriend and he didnt even look bothered

just,,, blank

not even pushing away or feeding into their actions

just,,, standing there

‘haji?’

you called out and as if he had a built-in sensor for you, his ears twitched and he swiveled to look at you

‘y/n’

he breathed out and you smiled gently

iwa quickly moved away from the girls and he grabbed your hand so you both could go somewhere else to talk privately

the back of the gym was quiet and you leaned against the wall, iwa joining you shortly

‘how-how are you?’

you asked and he scoffed, totally surprising you

‘is this how we are y/n? asking each other questions as if we’re friends who are meeting for the first time in a while? wait--actually we are arent we?’

you grimaced and looked to the side, knowing he starts his stages of anger with being passive aggressive

‘haji,, please understand’

you pleaded and swiveled to stand in front of him

iwa didnt meet your eyes, instead shoving his hands in his pants pockets and eyes trained to his shoes as he kicked rocks

‘y/n, ive been trying,, for months ive been understanding. please dont ask me to understand anymore’

he snipped and you sniffed

‘im doing this because-because my grades are starting to matter! my future is resting on these years! i have to-’

‘dont you think i know that?!’

he cut you off harshly

your eyes were shaking at his attempt to calm himself down and his trembling hands

‘dont you think i know that you are doing this for that? because ive known you since i was five y/n and i know you would push everything-everyone- else aside to reach a damn goal of yours. no matter the cost, as long as you get it, right? well youve always been like that and somehow i still accepted that yet years later here we are’

iwa waved his arms around to accentuate his point and hurt was bubbling inside your chest at a subtle jab at your flaw

‘well im sorry mr. volleyball ace player! im not talented in any area so i have to depend on my studies to get me a future! so fck me for trying to survive and create a life for us!’

‘us?! how is this for us?! y/n we cant even last a single year being apart and youre already thinking ahead of the future?!’

‘im doing this for you! for us! just wait hajime! we will be happy-’

‘I DONT CARE IF ITS FOR THE FCKING FUTURE! I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND WHY DOES THE FCKING FUTURE MATTER SO DAMN MUCH WHEN WE CANT EVEN-’

‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!’

you shrieked

‘HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IF YOURE NOT LOVING ME?!’

he huffed and harshly wiped away tears that fell

your lips trembled, hands shakingly reaching out to grasp his arms

‘ha-hajime,, don-’

‘should we break up?’

was he asking you this right now?

seriously?

‘what?’

you whispered and he finally looked up to let you see his pained eyes

‘y/n do you know what day it was yesterday?’

he asked and you blinked, looking everywhere as you tried to remember any important events

‘t-tuesday?’

that seemed to snap his patience

with an angry grunt, he turned to punch the wall and crouch to hide his face in his hands

‘damn it, y/n’

he whimpered and your heart broke as you could hear his cries

then it clicked

anniversary

it was your 2nd anniversary

and you completely missed it

completely forgotten

you shrunk back and let out a cry before placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries

‘ha-haji-’

you sniffled and you tried to go closer to him but he wiped his eyes and stood back up

‘y/n lets break up’

iwa requested with a cracked smile

your eyes widened and you ran to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as if you let go, he would disappear

‘haji, we can talk about this! we cant-please dont do this-i can fix this-’

‘we will only hurt ourselves even more if we continue this. i dont want us to hurt anymore y/n. so please, for once, listen to me’

your heart shattering cries filled your space and he didnt think it was this hard until he finally said it

it was a decision that he has been hanging around for a while and even consulted oikawa about it

‘iwa-chan, if you love y/n so much, its best to let her go. dont make you both suffer anymore’

‘i cant-hajime youre it for me-please dont leave-’

you hiccuped and continued to sob

but iwa remained a pillar and squeezed you tightly against him

‘darling i believe we were meant to be. but we just did it all wrong. when the time is right, lets start over again’

he whispered, finally breaking down with you in his arms

-------

iwaizumi hajime became a taboo word for you

even with oikawa, he swore and vowed to never say either of your names and made sure that you would not be around the area when iwa would come over

like even when he knew iwa would just stay inside, he would be constantly on the lookout to make sure you both didnt see each other

the last time was when you both saw each other in the morning as you exited your house to walk to school

it must’ve been a few months after the breakup and even oikawa felt the raw pain hovering in the air

it was suffocating and oikawa had to motion you to walk because if you both stayed even a second, someone-or both- would start crying

you continued like that for years until you reached your third year

you continued being part of the volleyball team as the medic while kiyoko was the manager

the new recruits were causing up a storm and you were particularly fond of your kita kouhai kageyama tobio

‘kageyama? kageyama tobio?’

you asked once you caught sight of the familiar looking blueberry

he looked up and recognized you as his former manager

‘l/n-senpai!’

he shouted and you ran up to give the boy a hug

‘gosh! youre so tall now! i remembered when you were wee tall!’

you teased and ruffled his hair

‘uh-you know him, y/n?’

suga asked and you nodded

‘eung! we went to the same middle school and i was a manager there’

‘she was friends with iwa-’

ope

something flashed in your eyes

kiyoko knew that name bc of how you were so depressed about it for 2 years and she started shouting random nonsense, scaring the 2nd and first years

‘y/n! we got new medical tape!’

she sang out and you perked up

‘finally?! we dont have to use duct tape anymore?!’

you excitedly ran over and everyone was both shook that kiyoko was loud and two, you were actually excited over medical tape

kageyama shrugged and continued on training

he kinda figured something happened so he never said anything or asked you anything in fear of upsetting you

and when it was announced that you were going to a practice match with seijoh, kiyoko actually told you she would cover it to make sure you dont see him there

‘its fine, y/n, i got you’

but ofc, you couldnt skip inter high

ltr an event when anyone in the team could get injured so you forced yourself to just ignore it and go

you did a good job of hiding whenever he was in view until the time they actually faced each other

you were walking alongside kiyoko and settling some things down at the bench when you felt his stare

you grimaced at his intense stare and the entire team mistakenly took it as him being interested in you

‘HAH?! LOOK AWAY YOU BEANSPROUT!’

noya growled

‘YEA! DONT LOOK!’

ofc hinata echoed

the 3 seijoh third years exchanged looks of unease when iwa sighed and looked away

‘oi! dont do that, boke!’

kageyama chided and hit the orange boy with a water bottle at the head

hinata whined and glared at him

‘that porcupine was looking at l/n-senpai! he wants to steal her!’

‘boke-’

‘doesnt matter anyways. we broke up ages ago’

you tried to say it jokingly but they couldnt miss the crack in your voice

‘hah?! he broke up with you?! you?! goddess l/n-san?!’

tanaka raged and noya had his own face of shock

the famous seijoh ace dated you?!

this handsome bara arms muscle buff man had the priviledge to date you and yet broke up with you?!

‘yall didnt know that?’

kageyama questioned and everyone glared at him

‘how do you know’

‘i just did. i didnt want to say anything for this same reason that you guys didnt know and she wouldnt want her business out there’

he simply replied and continued filing his nails

you looked up and smiled

‘it doesnt matter anymore. it was years ago so its fine’

‘L/N-SAN WE WILL AVENGE YOU!’

‘WE WILL! WE WILL!!’

the three stooges swore and you smiled softly, ruffling each boy’s hair

‘then go out there and make me proud’

but we know how this goes

they lost and you were so devastated for the others and you dropped your bag to go and comfort a crying hinata

‘sshh, dont cry dont cry. im right here’

you cooed and he accepted your embrace, hugging you tightly

once he finally calmed down, you were able to get him to a good enough condition to walk to the bus to go home

you went back to get your bag when you found something on top of it

a single white carnation

and a small ripped piece of paper that said,

‘my name is iwaizumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

a/n: iknowiknowiknow i died but im not back to life and this request was lowkey difficult and i dont think i did a good job w it because angst always gets too angsty for me but i couldnt resist giving this a sad ending like bls!!! and uwu im still working on that oikawa route bc ya girl cant decide how angsty she wants it to beeee and i have like 4 different versions of the route in my drafts hehehe,,,, but i hope yall liked this and uwu ive never been in a serious relationship before so i wouldnt know what to fight about and came up with this:(

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jcmorrigan · 4 years

Note

Blakeworther,,,but college

OKAY. I SAW THIS LAST NIGHT AND WAS THINKING ALL THROUGH LAST NIGHT AND THIS MORNING BECAUSE THIS HAD TO BE GOOD

Blakeworther: ORIGINS (hopefully actually canon-compliant?)

-Vincent didn’t want a roommate. But RMU has a policy that unless a first-year has an extreme medical condition that requires them to room alone, they have to double up due to high attendance rates vs. limited dorm space. So unfortunately, Vincent needs to stay in the same room as this “Victor Blake” person he’s never met before and probably won’t like.

-He opens the door to their room on the first day. Victor is already there, decorating his half of the room. And you think Victor is a flirt nowadays? This is a Victor straight out of high school, with lingering teenage hormones. He takes one look at Vincent, gives him a coy smile, and just goes “Hello, beautiful.” And winks.

-Vincent goes “Don’t talk to me” and starts setting up his side of the room.

-Well, that’s rude. Victor tries to engage in conversation a couple more times, but Vincent makes it clear he is NOT HAVING IT, so Victor eventually gives up and pouts. (Vincent really is pretty. But more importantly than that, Victor kind of wanted his roommate to be his friend. That seems like a requirement for the college experience.)

-Oh, well. If they can put up with each other for one (1) year, they can request new roommates for their second year.

-Vincent sets off for his 8 a.m. on the first day. Psychology 101. He gets going at about 7 because he NEEDS to make a statement by getting there first. Back in high school, he was valedictorian, and he must continue to show people how classy, smart, and punctual he is.

-He arrives at the classroom. Seemingly empty. He strides through the door -

-The next thing he knows, he’s on the floor. Someone has screamed. He thinks it’s him. He’s disheveled, his books scattered. What just happened?

-After assessing the situation and going over the split-second incident that is retroactively gelling in his memory, he realizes that he walked through that door, and somebody who was waiting on the other side of the wall, just around the corner and out of sight, leapt out and JUMPSCARED him the moment he walked in.

-He looks up at the perpetrator who stands above him, giggling his ass off. This asshole is wearing a bright pink shirt and he’s admittedly kinda cute but also this was unforgivable.

-Victor: “What the HELL was that for?” Pink Shirt Man: “I knew someone would come along who thought they were first, and I wanted to make it clear this is my territory. I was here for fifteen minutes before you.” Vincent: “Why the HELL were you waiting here for fifteen minutes - “

-He makes a point of gathering up his books VERY ANGRILY and stomping to the furthest corner of the classroom to sit as far away from Pink Shirt as possible. Then glares at him venomously.

-So. A word on Albert. He grew up an only child with very few friends. He’s got a roommate too, but the guy’s an introvert in dark glasses who barely talks, spends like all his time watching anime, and is visibly just scared of Albert. So that friendship is out the window.

-(Yes. It’s Winston. He has not had an easy life.)

-This leaves Albert, who has no idea how to appropriately interact with people but has way too much pent-up energy, trying to figure out how to get people’s attention so he can make friends. But when I say he has no idea, I mean he has NO idea.

-So he sits down in the front row where his stuff was previously and just turns and STARES AT VINCENT until the rest of the class files in. Vincent keeps his eyes turned anywhere but at this Pink Shirt Creep because who stares at somebody over their shoulder for ten solid minutes?

-Albert chalks this up as a victory. Sure, this dude hates him, but that’s more attention than he was getting before!

-For the rest of the class, Vincent is hoping they can just move on and have a normal day in which he knocks every question fired his way out of the park. But that’s not what happens. What happens is this PINK SHIRT ASSHOLE in the front row keeps answering questions without being called on, and not even seriously. With the most MORBID sense of humor.

-Prof: “What are the three ways to study the brain?” Albert: “Smash open the test subject’s skull, rip it out, and have fun.”

-Vincent KNEW the answer was “lesion, stimulation, recording” and he’s so mad.

-He leaves this class grumpy.

-He’s on an alternating schedule, so block A of classes one day, block B the next. His next classes for A day go well and he gets to show off a fair bit of his intellect. But then the last class of block B and it’s art.

-Guess who’s there? Not Victor, unfortunately!

-Vincent walks in the door and THE PINK SHIRT ASSHOLE is there and Albert just waves at him “Hello” and Vincent is in hell.

-Same thing. Albert spends the whole class being obnoxious and annoying, but in a way that gets the other students to laugh. And Vincent just stews.

-Over the next few days, Vincent spends a lot of study time in his room rather than in the library because it’s quieter. Victor respects that Vincent will complain if there’s too much noise and so wears headphones when he’s working because he likes music in the background.

-One day, he accidentally rips the headphone jack out of the laptop and the song he was listening to blares over the dorm. He fixes the volume, already going, “Well, sor-ry for the accident - “

-Vincent: “Actually, I like that song. Have you listened to the album or do you just like it as a standalone?”

-Victor: “I...I saw them in concert, actually.”

-They have the first real conversation they’ve ever had since they moved in together because they ended up liking the same song. And they’re happy to be talking about it. This is good! Maybe they can be friends after all!

-First exam in Psych 101. Vincent feels pretty confident. This is a test he didn’t really put too much effort into studying for because he’s confident he memorized everything from high school. Well...as it turns out, he didn’t. But he fudges it as best he can, sure he’s at least doing better than the simpletons of the class. He’s the only one who takes this seriously, after all.

-Exam results come back, and the prof reveals that he’s graded on a curve. One student and one alone got a 95% on the exam; the rest failed horrendously.

-Vincent is about to rest on his laurels when the prof says “And that person is Albert Krueger.”

-Who the hell is -

-PINK SHIRT ASSHOLE stands up and bows playfully.

-Vincent now has a name for his nemesis. ALBERT KRUEGER. He’ll remember that and not be happy about it.

-So he’s chatting with Victor a lot more now as they hang out. Victor has a problem one day because one of his econ courses has a particularly picky prof who’s failed every single one of his essays to date, and he’s afraid he’s going to actually fail his favorite subject.

-Vincent takes a look at that prof’s notes. To his eyes, it’s easy to see what arbitrary hoops the prof wants Victor to jump through. It’s also easy to see that Victor actually is doing what’s asked of him and grasping the material; the prof just demands these extra trappings, probably as a power trip.

-Vincent knows exactly how to write the next paper to make it fit requirements. And so he says, “If you don’t have a problem with plagiarism, I can get the next one to pass.”

-Victor: “Well, don’t make it too perfect, or they’ll catch on.”

-Vincent writes Victor a solid B- of a paper. And it’s graded with the expected B-. Victor is SO thankful and calls Vincent a genius.

-About time someone around here did. Since it strokes his ego, Vincent offers to do any paper Victor wants for him, free of charge.

-Meanwhile! In art class, they’ve been assigned a midterm visual art project. Vincent can already tell that his piece is...good but not great. You know who’s making a fantastic landscape painting that everyone else in the studio ahhs at every day he works on it? AAAAAALBERT KRUEGER.

-Vincent is trying so hard not to explode.

-Vincent and Victor decide to eat lunch together because they like each other now. They head on down to the cafeteria, load up their plates with food, go to get the last two puddings on the shelf -

-Somebody takes the last two puddings.

-GUESS WHO?

-Albert: “I believe it is they who snooze who must lose.” He didn’t even want two puddings. But while people can get temporarily impressed with his prowess, annoying people is the only way he can REALLY get lasting attention. Most people go “Albert’s painting is so cool!” and leave. Vincent, though? Vincent keeps on making a SCENE out of it and Albert likes that. So he made sure neither Vincent nor Vincent’s friend could have any pudding.

-Vincent and Victor sit down, pudding-less. Victor: “Who was that guy?”

-Vincent explains the whole thing. He rambles for almost the whole lunch period about how much he HATES Albert. Culminating in how he knows that Albert’s art project is going to get highest marks and make Vincent’s look so much worse by its very existence.

-Victor: “You know...I have a plan, but it’s not entirely legal. If you want to get back at him, though...” Vincent: “I’m listening.”

-They break into the locked art studio after hours and RIP ALBERT’S PAINTING INTO SHREDS. That’s, like, twenty hours of work just gone. They leave no evidence.

-The following day, Albert approaches the two of them at lunch: “I know it was you. You can’t lie to me about this. From now on, we are at war. You, Vincent, are my mortal enemy. And you, Vincent’s accomplice, I know were talked into this by him, but you’re on the thinnest of ice.”

-Vincent’s fine with this. Victor thinks it’s funny and doesn’t own up to having come up with the idea.

-Anyway, Vincent and Victor start hanging out more, so when there’s a school dance, they decide to go together. Just as bros, not as PARTNERS what are you even - no. Platonic. Heheheheh

-And they have a good time dancing! Vincent doesn’t normally like this sort of thing, but Victor’s into it, so they’re cutting a rug.

-A small throng of students is gathered in the middle of the floor, watching some spectacle. Victor wants to see what’s going on. So he brings Vincent over.

-Everyone’s watching a particular student just absolutely breakdance with the greatest of skill. And GUESS WHO?

-Vincent enters RAGE MODE

-Victor: “Oh, no, here we go.” (Secretly thinking to himself that Albert did have some sexy moves indeed.)

-Vincent storms in and CHALLENGES ALBERT TO A DANCE-OFF. Albert accepts. Victor calls himself a third competitor so as not to be left out, and Vincent rules that either he or Victor winning will be a victory for Vincent.

-Well, Albert gains more applause by a LANDSLIDE. Vincent and Victor are good dancers, but Albert is FANTASTIC. Vincent complains the rest of the night and Victor’s just “Look, I know he was gorgeous and he got all the attention but please pay attention to me”

-Things continue like this until the next semester, when classes are shuffled and FINALLY Vincent is free of Albert.

-You know who walks in to find Albert just staring creepily at him from the front row of his first class? VICTOR.

-It’s Biology. Right away, the class gets a partner assignment, and the prof sticks Albert and Victor together.

-Might as well make the best of this.

-So they get to just awkwardly chatting. Victor tries to keep himself level-headed. Albert still doesn’t know it was Victor’s idea to destroy his painting. So they’re just playing it cool.

-And...it’s actually kind of fun to talk to one another?

-Albert lets slip that he likes bio a bit better than psych, but everyone’s expecting him to take up the position at Krueger Health Corp. Victor’s just like “So fuck ‘em. Switch majors.”

-Albert then blurts “Have you ever wanted to dismember someone who wronged you?”

-Victor: “Yes. All the time.”

-So for the first time, somebody is giving Albert attention that is NOT rivalry and is NOT just marveling at his talents and antics. This is new. He’s not sure how to handle it.

-For the rest of the semester, Victor is technically on Team Vincent, but he still waves at Albert when they pass on the grounds.

-Vincent and Victor go off campus to a house party with alcohol! Albert doesn’t actually show up to steal the spotlight this time. And...that kinda pisses Vincent off. Where IS he? He usually shows up to these things -

-Victor tells him to pleeeaaaase stop obsessing about Albert, please. (But Victor also kinda wishes he was there and isn’t sure why.)

-Later in the night, some beefy upperclassman starts a fight and threatens Vincent. Vincent and Victor are both buzzed and riled up. Victor jumps in and decks the guy to protect Vincent. The guy decks him right back and HARDER. So Vincent tackles the dude because now HE’S protecting Victor.

-They both end up in the hospital with broken bones. Roommates, again. And when they look at each other across their hospital room, they realize something has changed. That they now know they would defend each other to the death, and each has to repay the loyalty of the other. They’re in this for the long haul, and most certainly not going to request new roommates.

-They get their classwork shipped into the hospital and have some nice calm chats with each other, away from the buzz of student life.

-Albert, however, suddenly has his archnemesis and his lab partner both MISSING and it’s driving him insane. Where are they where are they where are they

-When they get released from the hospital and finally go back to campus, Albert has to refrain from RUNNING UP TO THEM AND HUGGING THEM BOTH. HIS LIFE HAD NO MEANING

-Instead he says “Pity. I’d’ve hoped that you’d die and be out of my hair.”

-Vincent and Victor can’t really admit how much he was the missing piece of their lives either.

-It’s gonna be a few interesting years at RMU.

#vincent edgeworth #victor blake #albert krueger #blakeworther #vincent the secret of myers #vtsom #therapy with dr. albert krueger #twdak

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girlgirlgirlnormal · 4 years

Text

I want her to be mine Part 1

Kuina x OC (female OC)

TW: Death; Niragi (Yes, I’m including Niragi as a trigger now, even though he is very ooc here and OC’s best friend); harrasment, sexual harrasment mention, bullying

Word count: 3.8k

Ino was dancing her way through the crowd. She didn’t have to push through. People made room for her. She knew that they were not doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. She was known to be a gun wielding maniac and Niragis best friend. They didn’t want to be on her bad side, and she was known to be ill-tempered. Wearing short shorts that barely covered her butt and a green velvet camisole she would never be pointed out for her clothes. Everyone was clothed less in the beach. The things that made her stick out of the group where the two guns she had on her hipholsters and the knife strapped to her thigh.

“Finally.”, she muttered, as she spotted Niragi on the other side of the pool.

She grabbed the drink of a girl standing nearby and walked around the pool, watching how her best friend was talking – no threatening – Chishiya and Kuina.

“Niragi”, she said, as soon as she was within hearing distance, “Aguni wants to see you.”

She crossed her arms, the drink, a pink liquid in a tall glass, still in her hand. She hated being the message girl.

“I have business to do”, Niragi said, not turning back to look at her, “This little man is bothering me.”

“That little man is always bothering you”, she said sighing, “Come on. You know how Aguni gets when he has to wait.”

She wasn’t looking at Niragi. Her gaze was fixed on Kuina. She found that that woman was too beautiful to be real.

Niragi groaned, pushing the head of his sniper rifle into Chishiyas stomach. He still didn’t make any effort to move away from the man. Kuina was watching him with a worried expression on her face and Chishiya simply did not seem to care. Sighing she took a big gulp of the cocktail she was holding and smashed the rest on the floor.

“I demand attention!”, she almost shouted.

Niragi chuckeled, “Remined me. Why don’t I kill you?”

“Because I’m your best friend, idiot.”

Niragi seemed to accept that, turning and walking past her, to the hotel. She stayed for a moment, gifting Kuina a little smile, then she turned back, following Niragi inside.

“If you want her so much, why don’t you just take her?”, Niragi asked, as they were crossing the lobby.

“Are you asking why I’m not making a move or are you advising me to force myself onto her?”, Ino asked, laughing.

She knew Niragi since highschool. He had interned and later worked at her fathers indie gaming company and she had worked on the same team with him. She knew everything about him and he about her.

“Both”, he said, shrugging, “You’re not the one to wait around if you want something.”

“If you were not so precious to me, maybe I would be the one shooting you.”, she replied, bumping her shoulder in his arm, making him laugh.

After they reached Agunis room she waited outside. He had asked for Niragi. He didn’t say that he wanted to see her with him, so that meant that she was not invited. She was leaning against the wall, quietly humming the hanging trees melody and playing with her knive, starting to not only hum but sing, as she saw Kuina coming out of the elevator. She knew she looked kinda scary with her huge scar extending from her right eyebrow all the way down to her navel. Singing such an ominous song while staring at the beautiful women walking towards her must have made her look even scarier. Not to forget the throwing knive she was twirling between her fingers.

“You really shouldn’t hang with Chishiya”, she advised, as Kuina was walking past her, making her stop, “At least not then Niragi is around. I’m afraid that one day you might get caught in some enthusiastic friendly fire.”

She couldn’t believe that those there the first words she had spoken to the woman she had been watching since she got to the beach. She never had acknowledged her enough to talk to her before.

“I can do whatever I want.”, Kuina answered, “What is it to you if I die?”

She had caught the woman watching her, but her expression could never be read. Maybe she was just some transphobe who had identified her and was plotting her death. Maybe she just didn’t like her face, that seemed to be the problem between Niragi and Chishiya.

The woman smiled, “You’re too pretty to die because Niragi can’t stand that weirdos face.”

Kuina was silent for a moment. Did she just tell her that she was pretty? She turned to look the woman in the face. She was still not showing any emotions.

“Too pretty, huh?”, she asked, the woman was pretty herself, but Kuina never thought much of it. She was just another militant and if Niragi was not following her like a shadow she was dancing with some other militant. Kuina had noticed that those guys seemed to vanish after she had seen them with her.

Pushing herself of the wall she put the knife back in its strap and smiled. She walked up to Kuina. She was short compared to her, only reaching her chin, and smiled up to her, before turning around and vanishing in her rooms, a couple of doors next to Agunis. The door between her and Agunis door was leading into Niragis room and their rooms were interconnected. She put the chair against the doorknob. If Niragi wanted to see her, he would come through the middle door anyway. She deattached her holsters and wiggled out of her shorts. Tomorrow she would have to play a game, she thought, as she was pulling her camisole over her head. She just hoped it was one she could beat. She would have Niragi with her. She never went to a game without him. He was the only person in this place she trusted. She slipped into a silk nightdress, the kind she used to sleep in all the time and brushed her hair. Her life used to be so good. How did she and up here?

“What’s up, princess?”, she could see Niragi in the mirror, leaning on the frame of their connecting door.

“Cuddles tonight?”, she asked, placing the brush on the vanity, and turning to Niragi.

He laughed, but nodded, “I think you just need some Vitamin D.”

She rolled her eyes, “Maybe I would get some if you didn’t kill everyone who dared to touch me.”

Niragi was already getting undressed all the way down to his boxers and laid down, extending a hand to her. Sighing she stood up and walked up to the bed, laying down beside her best friend and letting him wrap his arms around her.

“They all didn’t deserve you”, he mumbled into her hair, “I only want the best for you.”

“You want me to die horny”, she answered, cuddling into his chest, “I miss being touched that way. I would be very grateful to you if you did not kill everyone who touched me.”

Niragi sighed, “Can’t you just abstain as long as we’re here?”

She playfully hit his arm, “I’m going to approach Kuina and I want her to stay alive to fuck me.”

“Stop thinking about sex”, Niragi scolded her with a bored voice, “Concentrate on the game tomorrow. We will have to play.”

Yawning she nodded, before falling asleep in her best friends’ arms.

The next day went by uneventful and as the signal for the start of the games sounded through the hotel, she and Niragi were already in the lobby. They would not draw a number. They already knew they would go to the game with the other militants. They had to take some civilians with them, though. Who they would take with them would be chosen by luck. Many did not consider themselves lucky then they drew the M instead of a number. Either they would have an easy game and the militants would fight their way free for them or it would be a deadly game and they would be killed by the same people who were sent to protect them.

She was watching Kuina and Chishiya argue.

“You have to find someone to switch with.”, he said.

“Who would switch with me?”, she asked, looking around.

Everyone who wanted to participate was already making their way out. Thinking that this was an opportunity to “bring order to the beach” she signaled Niragi to stay and made her way over to Kuina.

“What number did you draw?”, she asked, not even acknowledging Chishiya.

“We were about to switch”, he said, holding his own number, a 3 up.

She ripped the piece of paper out of Kuinas hand and unscrambled it.

“Looks like you’re with us”, she said grinning, “That’s the law. You go with the number you get. No more horsetrading.”

She grabbed Kuinas arm and pulled her with her to the two militant cars. Niragi opened the door to the front passenger seat, grabbed the young man already sitting there and pulled him out. Before he sat down, he turned to her and threw the keys to her, “You’re driving today.”, he said, getting in.

Catching the keys, she watched Kuina sit down and finally sat down herself. The drive took them about 15 minutes. The game arena looked like a normal apartment complex. She stopped for a moment, showing Niragi what had caught her attention. There were two different entrances. Both were limited to 10 people each. A sign told them to leave their weapons outside.

Niragi pointed his head to the second entrance and one of the militants peaked in, “Here are already six people”, he informed them.

“2 here”, Ino informed the group.

“Militants here”, Niragi pointed to the first entrance, “Weeklings there”, he pointed to the second door.

The people they had brought, only 4 including Kuina, were looking distraught. They were 7 militants.

“She’s with me”, Ino said, pulling Kuina by her arm to her side, “She’s coming with us.”

Kuina did not protest. This short before a game one should never put the militants in a bad mood.

The others nodded. She had the highest number after Niragi. If he didn’t say something to contradict her, they would listen. Niragi rolled his eyes about his best friends’ behavior, but she had told him that she wanted to fuck that girl, so she would.

After entering through the first entrance, they each picked up a phone and waited for the other group to be full. A couple of minutes of silence ensued. Niragi and Ino did not talk because there were others in the room. The others did not talk, because Niragi was in the room.

“Registration is closed”, the mechanic voice announced, after a while, the five of clubs card flashed on the screen, and a table was elevated from the ground with all kinds of sharp objects on it, “Game: Kill or be killed. Two teams with ten players each have been assembled. Players are free to choose weapons from the table. Clearing Conditions: The team with the most kills wins. Game over: If a player dies or is part of the team with the least kills it is game over for them. Time limit: 20 minutes”

Niragi laughed, walking over to the table and grabbed an axe and 2 machetes. He gave one of them to Ino and pointed to the throwing knives, “Take them.”

She took them. She didn’t mind small orders from Niragi. They had been a team for five years. That meant that they have been giving and taking orders to and from each other for half a decade.

“What are you good with, princess?”, Ino asked, turning to Kuina.

The other militants did not take anything yet. They were like a pack of wolves. They would not get anything until their “Alphas” were done. Considering that Aguni was not with them they had to do as Niragi pleased. Kuina looked over the table.

“Sword”, she said and watched as Ino grabbed one and handed it to her.

Ino caught Niragi staring at the screen.

“What’s the problem?”, she asked, looking up to his face and then to the screen.

Beneath the rules two columns had appeared. Group Right and Group Left. Both columns had a big black zero beneath their group names.

“It doesn’t specifically say that we have to kill people from the other team to win”, he said, thoughtfully, looking back to the two civilians standing in the back, they had not even chosen a weapon yet. Ino guessed the reason for that might be one of the militants standing by the table looking the girls up and down with a dirty look on his face.

She rolled her eyes. Men.

“Maybe we should look into it”, the man said, taking a knife and walking toward the women, who were already covering into the wall.

Niragi turned to watch him. Ino saw up to him again. His face didn’t betray any emotion but seeing those women in such fear had to remind him of his old life.

“Maybe we should”, Ino agreed, walking up to the girls, coming to a halt right next to the militant.

He smiled at her. She smiled back, swinging her machete into his neck. His eyes were widened in shock as he fell to the ground. Gurgling noises could be heard for a couple of moments, then they stopped. Ino looked back to the scoreboard. A point had appeared for the other group.

“I guess that means we protect the girls”, she concluded, walking back to Kuina and grabbing her hand, “Niragi?”

“You stay here”, he said looking to the women, “everyone else, the hunt is on!”

With that he hollered, swinging his ax and machete and opened the door to enter the playing field, abruptly stopping in his tracks.

“It’s a fucking labyrinth”, he muttered, “Come on. We need to split up.”

Ino sighed, that was a dumb idea. Everyone died in horror movies as soon as they split up.

Niragi looked at her for a moment, before nodding and walking off. They would survive. There was no way this game would get any of them killed.

“You’re with me.”, Ino said, grabbing Kuinas wrist and dragging her off, walking in the opposite direction of where Niragi disappeared.

“Why?”, Kuina asked.

The labyrinth was silent. She couldn’t hear anything beside her heart pounding.

“I don’t think this is a talkie talkie game”, Sakura said, her machete raised, slowly walking around the next corner.

Kuina huffed, following Ino. If she didn’t have to, she walked straight, not taking any turns. They had to hurry. They were already down to 15 Minutes and the only point given in the game was the militant Ino had killed. She started to consider it a bad idea. She had made a point for her rivals. If they didn’t find and kill someone soon, they would lose. She stopped. She thought she had heard something. Trying to concentrate on the sounds around them she closed her eyes, hearing Kuinas footsteps continue walking, walking past her.

She heard the sound again. It was coming from around the corner that Kuina was about to turn. Not even thinking she lunged forward, grabbing Kuinas waist and pushing her back, while swinging her machete. She was too late. She screamed as something made impact with her forearm, wildly swinging her machete she only stopped, as the man infront of her collapsed to the ground.

“Ino!”, she heard Niragi scream.

Examining her arm, she screamed back: “I’m fine.”

She was cut and bleeding, but it didn’t look too deep. An agonized moan escaped her mouth, as her phone beeped, signaling the point she had made.

“Are you ok?”, Kuina asked, automatically grabbing her arm to have a better look at her wound.

“I just said that I’m fine, didn’t I?”, Ino growled. This was so frustrating. It was her dominant hand.

“I’ll take the lead”, Kuina announced and wanted to continue walking, but Ino grabbed her wrist.

“Look”, she said shoving her arm in Kuinas face, “That happened because you took the lead. Stay the fuck behind me.”

With that she walked off, machete up in her left hand, cautiously walking around the next corner. Her phone beeped again. A quick look on it showed her that her team had gained another point. She grinned. Now it would be enough if no one else on their team got killed.

She heard a scream and started looking around, “Its ok”, she told Kuina, showing her the phone. They had gained another point. Kuina nodded.

She was just about to turn the next corner as she stopped, raising the machete over her head, and hacking down the second she turned the corner.

“I guess it really is a matter of time until one of us kills the other”, Niragi said laughing, as their machetes clashed.

Ino took down the machete that she was holding up with both hands, grasping her injury with her other hand.

“Fuck”, Niragi groaned, grabbing her arm, “That’s not fine.”

“It will be”, she said, taking her arm out of his grip, “Don’t worry. Made a kill yet?”

Niragi shook his head, “You are the first people I´ve seen since I got in the labyrinth.”

“Looks like I’m winning”, Ino said grinning, walking off.

She only heard one set of feet walking behind her, so she turned. Niragi was right behind her, Kuina was still standing where she had left her.

“Come on princess”, Ino said smiling, “I want to give Niragi a chance to beat me!”

Niragi had walked ahead and was now hollering. He found someone from the opposing team and was using his ax to cut the man down.

Niragi turned back to them, after the man he was axing down stopped moving. Blood had splattered all over his face and shirt, “It’s a tie, princess”, he screamed joyfully, turning back around and started walking away.

“No ties for you!”, Ino laughed, pushing past Niragi and running ahead.

“What the fuck, Ino”, Niragi laughed, following her.

“Kuina, move your sweet ass over here”, Ino ordered, laughing and ran off.

After a couple of moments, she could hear Kuinas footsteps behind her. She grinned. She was already listening to her.

She stopped in her tracks as she heard Kuina scream. She was lying on the ground, a big bulky man sitting on her stomach, fighting to put a knife to her throat. Ino ran back, trying to pull the man off the fighting girl. He backhanded her, causing Ino to fall back and hit her head on the floor.

She heard another scream and looked up to see Niragi swinging his ax one more time, making the man fall to his side and off Kuina. Ino scrambled to her knees and scooted over to Kuina, helping her up.

“Are you ok?”, she asked, one hand hovering over her neck, there are fine line of blood was glistening.

“I´m alright”, Kuina answered, standing up, “You must’ve hurt your head. You fell pretty hard.”

Ino wanted to say that she was ok, but she only hissed in pain, as Niragi touched the back of her head.

“You’re bleeding”, he informed her in a judging voice, “If you continue like that, you’ll die today.”

She punched his arm.

Four to one, we’re winning”, she said, taking Kuinas hand and dragging her along, “Only five minutes remaining.”

The last five minutes were uneventful. Noone else died until the time ran out and lasers killed everyone left in the losing team. As they got back to their base, the two civilian women were already gone and they were the last militants to arrive.

“Let’s go home”, Niragi said, not even stopping to look at his comrades.

The car ride was silent. They had split up to be able to take both cars to the beach and Niragi was driving. He was shooting concerned glances in her direction every once in a while, trying to ignore the feeling that he should’ve been able to protect her. Kuina was the only one they had taken with them. The poor girl was sitting in the back, staring at Inos bloody, matted hair. She was just trying to win the game, Kuina thought, it doesn’t mean anything that she saved you.

As soon as they arrived on the beach and the car was parked, Niragi got out and opened Inos door. She let him help her exit the car and walk her in the direction of the beach, before stopping and turning back.

Kuina had gotten out of the car and was walking at a safe distance. Ino smiled at her and pointed at her head, “You’ll have to pay me back for this”, she said, “tomorrow morning. I’ll find you.”

With that she turned and let Niragi lead her to the medical center. Kuina was still standing there, staring at the women as she disappeared in the beach.

Pay her back? How? She didn’t have much time to think about it, as Chishiya was already approaching her. Niragi was too busy supporting his best to pick a fight with the shorter man, he didn’t even look at him, as he walked past them.

Niragi had led her to the medical area and Ann had patched her up.

Laying in her bed, Niragi beside her, they were examining her bandaged arm.

“I thought only snitches get stitches”, she mumbled, poking around the edges of the bandage.

Sighing Niragi turned to her, extending his index finger and starting to draw the line of her scar. It was just a fine line on her face and throat, but it turned to an angry red convulsing scar at her collarbone. He knew that it extended in the same shape between her breasts, down to her stomach, before turning back to a fine line and stopping at her navel. It had been gruesome. They didn’t think she would survive it, but she did.

“You weren’t snitching back then, were you?”, he asked jokingly, finger resting on her collarbone.

“I´m just saying that I just once want to get stitches because I’ve been snitching”, she laughed.

“I would be happier if you stopped getting stitches”, Niragi argued, making Ino laugh, “Are you really going to meet that girl tomorrow?”, he asked, finger still on her scar, “Kuina?”

Ino nodded, “She is very pretty.”

“She’s always with Chishiya”, Niragi groaned, “You should not trust her.”

“I’m not saying that I trust her”, Ino finally turned to face Niragi, cupping his face with one hand, “I’m just saying that she’s verry pretty and I want her to be mine.”

#hikari kuina #kuina #alice in borderland #niragi #suguru niragi #kuina x reader #kuina x oc #chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #niragi x reader

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killerkai33 · 4 years

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warnings: nothing really. Kinda sad is all. Oh and unedited and not necessarily super Canon.

V's life had quickly became a whirlwind of chaos in the past few months. She lost her only friend, died, resurrected, and gained a brain parasite that tried to beat the shit out of her. A hot parasite at that, he was a total dickhead but she would be lying if she said that she wasn't attached to him.

Thanks to Johnny literally being in her head, the two shared a bond that no one else could. They knew each other inside and out, and had gotten out of the stage of their time together in which they both felt the urge to kill each other. You might even say that V trusted Johnny now, their little trip to the hotel and his burial site had brought them closer together.

As she sat in Johnny's old Porsche, the dogtags he gave her clutched between her fingers, she thought back to what he said at the hotel. He said he would voluntarily be wiped if it was necessary for her to live, V still hadn't fully processed that. She didn't want Johnny to die, especially not for her. He said that he wanted Smasher dead at the very least, she planned on doing everything in her power to give him the revenge he sought. Against both Smasher and Arasaka, one thing she and Johnny had in common was their hate for Corps.

"Hey, Johnny," V's voice was unusually timid as she spoke out loud. Since she was in her vehicle she felt no need to communicate with him silently, this made the conversation feel more natural. She didn't take her eyes off the windshield when she heard the familiar glitches that signaled his presence, even though the car was not moving and they were sat in the middle of the badlands. A place Johnny wasn't overly fond of.

If the man was good at one thing, it was complaining.

He grumbled a response and waited for her to speak. "You asked me a few favors over our time together..." V felt the annoyance radiate off of him as she said this. He was most likely expecting her to want something impossible in return. "Well, I have one for you too," she took a deep breath, " When...if... we don't fix this- Fix me- will you visit Jackie for me? I know you didn't really know him, but besides you he's the person I was closest to. Maybe, you could check on Mama Welles sometimes too, to make sure she's doing okay without Jackie. You don't have to talk to her or anything, just-," V's mindless rambling was interrupted suddenly by Johnny.

"No."

V was admittedly surprised but before she could even think about saying something Johnny continued speaking. "No, we are not doing this V. I won't promise to do that because we're going to fix this, okay? You're going to be okay." The tone he spoke in left little room for arguing. That was the thing about Johnny, he had this way of speaking that could make you believe anything he said and give him whatever he wanted. Most people find that out the hard way.

A weak chuckle escaped her, "Yea, I hope so. We both know its a very real possibility that we don't though J, that I'm gonna die," it was a shitty thing to accept but it was true. There was no guarantee that V could be saved, despite their best efforts. " Look, just in case. Please? Even if you don't say you will, just store it away in that brain of yours." This argument persisted for several minutes before V sighed as Johnny's annoyance was on the verge of exploding into anger.

She had a feeling it was stronger for him than it was for her, but she could pick up light traces of his emotions through the connection. Though she didn't need that to know what he was feeling at the moment. She thought back to the first time she willingly allowed him to control their body. She didn't completely trust him at the time, but she was tired. Tired of dealing with the episodes caused by the relic and everything else going on around her.

He had technically lied to her, seeing as he did much more than talk to Rogue, but she didn't comment on it. He needed that night, even if he doesn't realize it or won't admit it. He needed to feel in control of himself for once.

To feel like a person again.

"I'm fucking scared Johnny," V's voice was practically a whisper at this point. It was true, she was terrified. Not of Johnny gaining her body, or even dying. She was scared of losing Johnny, she didn't want to be the reason he was wiped. After all this time, he deserved a second chance, even at the cost of her own life. He wouldn't allow that, not wanting to be like Arasaka and though he wouldn't admit it he didn't want to be the one to kill the only person who didn't hate his guts.

"I know," his voice was raspy and, for once, not completely monotone. There was an ache that could be heard, but more surprisingly, there was hope. He was going to do everything he could to save her. V gasped in surprise as she felt herself be lifted, it was difficult to maneuver but she assisted where she could and eventually found herself in Johnny's lap. They sat chest to chest and their eyes met, they stared at each other for a moment before V realized something. This was the safest she had felt in her entire life.

She didn't feel like this with anyone else she had ever met. V went limp, seemingly collapsing into Johnny's chest as she buried her head into his chest. After a moments hesitation, his arms wrapped around her and clutched her firmly. "You ain't going no where, got it? I got you Princess," Johnny held her tighter. She was reminded of the night she passed out in the parking lot, she thought she was dying. Johnny must have caught on to her thoughts that night and said something similar.

This was all very put of character for Johnny, but something about V made it impossible for him not to comfort her. Of course, he would later realize that this is what it feels like to care for some one. He liked Rogue and Alt, but it wasn't like this. He and V have been connected in more intimate ways than anyone he was with, even if it wasn't necessarily by choice. When he was alive it always felt like it was him against the world. With V around, he felt like he had someone wholeheartedly on his side for once.

The thing about living in Night City is that its a lonely life, they were all the other had now. Neither had any intentions of letting each other go, they were stuck with each other now.

V felt Johnny press a light kiss on her head, so light she almost didn't feel it. "I'm going to fix it. I promise V, you're going to get through this. Ill make sure of it, no matter what I have to do." They stayed there for hours that night, just holding each other.

Johnny kept his promise, V survived no matter the cost he had to pay. Her eyes were almost burning a hole through the stupid piece of tin she was staring at.

J.S. 2023

It wasn't supposed to end like this. They were both supposed to get out of this alive. She grit her teeth before slipping the jacket she wore off her shoulders. The red Samurai logo staring back at her, taunting her. She set it on the metal, beside of the inscription she had made what felt like centuries ago.

She lit the cigarette that had been dangling from her mouth before setting an unlit one on the grave in front of her. V stayed there until the filter of the cigarette was in danger of burning and put it out on the concrete. "See ya soon, J."

V made two promises to herself that night.

First of all, she was going to live. No matter what, Johnny gave everything to make sure she didn't die and that wasn't something to be wasted.

Second, she was going to make living hell for any corpo bitch she came across. For Johnny.

#johnny silverhand #keanu reeves #cyberpunk #cyberpunk samurai #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk v #johnny silverhand x v #johnny silverhand x reader #cyberpunk imagine #cyberpunk fanfic

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bestworstcase · 4 years

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i’ve been thinking about this post from a couple days ago and how i shared my four questions of character development but didn’t actually give an example of what my answers look like and it’s bugging me a bit because it occurs to me that it’s kinda just. lobbing a tool out there without documentation on how to use it properly rip

so uh. further details with examples ft. the bitter snow cast.

#1: what are they looking for?

all characters have an UNFULFILLED DESIRE that motivates them to action. the more central to the story the character is, the harder this must be to attain, as a general rule. this is, ideally, NOT an exterior goal. instead, it is the intrinsic wellspring from which the character’s goals and aspirations emerge.

EXAMPLES:

cassandra: it’s complicated. she is a character defined more by what she lacks than what she wants, per se; she does not feel secure of her place in the world, she craves trust because she feels she is distrusted, she craves respect because she feels she is overlooked, she craves love because she feels unloved. she doesn’t want to be a servant. she is terrified of insignificance, of being forgotten. she does not fit, and this hurts her. she is riddled with self-loathing and self-doubt because of the discrimination she has endured due to her saporian heritage. but if pressed to explain what she wants… she can’t summon a true answer. she doesn’t know what she wants, so what she is looking for fundamentally is to figure that out.

rapunzel: complicated again. she is a character defined in large part by what other people want from her. a people-pleaser who becomes anxious, persistent—even forceful—in her efforts to make everyone happy. she isn’t accustomed to paying attention to her own desires, and tends to neglect them unless she is acutely unhappy. i think she is looking for herself, more than anything.

varian: he is searching for answers. he wants to understand how the world works, to discover what it has to teach him. simple.

caine: she is looking for freedom. her life has been a long succession of horrific losses: her father was brutally taken from her, her mother became horribly ill, poverty and familial obligation robbed her of what remained of her childhood, she became disillusioned with the faith her aunt tried to share with her, her best friend died in her arms. she wants vengeance, and she also wants to stop carrying these ghosts with her, and she also wants to stop looking over her shoulder all the time and waiting for the next loss to catch up with her.

zhan tiri: she is looking for peace. she is the oldest living being in existence, and she came from nothing, and every single significant moment in her unfathomably long life has been soaked in blood and pain and death. her intrinsic nature is to hunger—always needing, always restless, always empty—and more than anything, she longs to break this endless circle of want.

#2: what’s stopping them?

every character must have an OBSTACLE which DISRUPTS their pursuit of what they’re looking for. it is the thing standing in their way. this is NOT the antagonist—it is the reason the character cannot easily overcome the antagonist. ideally it is something intrinsic.

EXAMPLES:

cassandra: she has, again, a complicated answer—because the very thing she is looking for is the same thing that stands in her way. how can she discover her basic, most primal want if she can’t even articulate her goals? she wants, at the beginning of the story, to join the watch—but not because she wants to join the watch, so much as joining the watch is a proxy for cassandra assimilating fully, for being coronan through and through, for scrubbing herself clean of the stain of her parents’ legacy—and that proxy is itself merely a proxy for her desire to belong—and her desire to belong is, in turn, a proxy for the agony of not knowing herself. she is piling bandaids on top of bandaids on top of bandaids on top of hemorrhages.

rapunzel: she is trapped in her own story. an evil witch kidnapped the magical lost princess, who escaped and came home; a miracle. the sundrop gifted its power to the lost princess; destiny. she a peacemaker and a mediator; it is her job to fix problems. narratives piled on narratives and she’s lost—or rather, never had—the insight to recognize that there is more to her than the stories people tell about her.

varian: his crushing need for approval is the key thing standing in his way. it isn’t just that his father’s disappointment or his village’s distrust make him warier of free experimentation; it is also, and perhaps even more so, that he is afraid of finding the wrong answers. answers that won’t help people. answers that his friends and allies won’t like. answers that change his basic view of the world in ways that feel antithetical to who he is. this fear holds him back from pursuing the truth.

caine: she is looking in the wrong direction; she is trying to not care, as if by not caring she can trick the universe into not taking anything else away. she is someone who cares so deeply trying to sever herself from everything she cares about without actually letting it go, which is of course an exercise in futility.

zhan tiri: what she wants is, quite simply, impossible. this is not a human answer because she is not human. contentment is and will always be something she is not capable of feeling, and chasing it is nothing but another exercise in insatiable hunger.

#3: what are they going to do about it?

this is about ACTION. it is not an option for a character to do nothing; the nature of the unfulfilled desire is that they are COMPELLED to seek it, somehow, by some means. if the answer to this question does not involve the character DOING SOMETHING, you need to return to question number one and fix the answer there.

EXAMPLES:

cassandra: she is going to fling herself headlong and without hesitation after whatever concrete goals feel like they might “fix” the lack she feels. even if a short term goal (like helping rapunzel sneak out) clashes or is contradictory with a longer term goal (like joining the watch). even if it is an obviously stupid idea (like her secret correspondence with rosalia morcant). even if it is an impulse with little if any rational basis (like fixating on finding varian, or joining the fight in socona). she is, essentially, throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks, because without knowing what she wants, she can’t form a coherent “quest” for herself.

rapunzel: she is going to follow the path of least resistance with whatever narrative feels the least restrictive to her at any given time. when she is fresh out of the tower, reconnecting with her real family and throwing herself into becoming a princess is that narrative. later, taking adira’s and xavier’s advice to pursue her destiny by questing for the moonstone replaces that narrative. since none of these narratives fully suit her—they are all boxes she tries to fit into—she will eventually grow discontent and cast them aside to try something new, until she finally breaks this cycle.

varian: he is going to fall into a cycle of hesitant side-stepping leading to crisis leading to frantic charge forward until he identifies this pattern and chooses to step calmly but courageously into unknown territory. his instinct is to try to go around, to find an oblique solution, but to get what he wants he will ultimately need to just face his fear head on—and deep down he is willing to do that.

caine: she is going to run, and fight, and keep running and fighting until her legs give out beneath her. vengeance appeals to her, and she’s going to chase it with everything she’s got while trying to protect what she has; her intense drive is tempered by caution, which manifests in a pragmatic approach to pursuit of her exterior goals.

zhan tiri: she is going to continuously and experimentally refine and broaden her definition of “hunger” with the aim of hitting on something that allows her to feel satiated. she is going to line up goals and systematically chew threw them until there’s nothing left. she is, eventually, going to devour the whole cosmos and then probably die.

#4: who do they think they are?

this is a question about the character’s SELF-IDENTIFICATION. how do they PERCEIVE themselves? how do they choose to DEFINE themselves? what do they see when they look in the mirror?

EXAMPLES:

cassandra: she is untrustworthy. she is ignored. she is likable but not lovable. she doesn’t fit anywhere. she’s empty. she’s unsure. she’s drowning in doubt. she is insignificant, unimportant. she has been wronged, somehow. she wants to be a hero. she is someone who wants to do the right thing. she never stops trying. she’s stupid and reckless and incapable and doesn’t deserve any of the things she wants. she probably cares too much.

rapunzel: she is good. she is kind. (she is better than other people, in some small way. she sees the potential for goodness that other people can’t, or won’t.) she is worthless. she exists to make the world a better place. she is a princess, so she has to lead. she is the sundrop, so she has to heal. she is strong. (she is weak.) her determination to be kind and willingness to trust are her best qualities.

varian: he’s probably a lot smarter than most people he knows. he doesn’t know anything, but he wants to. he’s reckless. he’s not good enough. he can’t replace his mom. he’s accident prone. he’s a disappointment. he moves too fast. he thinks too fast. he doesn’t really need to sleep. he’s better with chemicals and formulas and machines than people. he’s not someone people want to be friends with. he could do great things if people—especially his dad—would just believe in him for once.

caine: she is an asshole and there is nothing wrong with her. she’s callous. she’s selfish. she’s out for her own interest first. she’s fine. (it was her fault cornaīn died. it’ll be her fault if her mom dies, or if neasa dies, or if any more of her crew dies, or if cassandra dies.) she isn’t afraid, she isn’t hurt, she’s angry. the only person she can rely on is herself, and the only person she wants to rely on is herself. she’s not anxious, she’s being smart.

zhan tiri: she loves, and it hurts, and she loves anyway. there is a way to break the circle and she is going to find it; it isn’t over until the end; but nothing lasts but hunger. she has done nothing wrong, ever, in her life. she has so many regrets she could drown in them if she weren’t immortal. she is beautiful, stop screaming.

…and that’s the bedrock of a character.

every individual action, every specific goal, every thought and feeling, is ultimately guided by the clash between this internal core with the realities of the setting, plot, and choices of other characters. cognitive dissonance between answers #1-3 and answer #4 is a breeding ground for inner conflict, and answers #1-3 are the raw material from which the spine of the character’s arc is sculpted.

[bonus round: this method comes from a scene in the pre-broadway houston run of the musical wonderland, wherein a character poses these questions to alice; her answers are:

#1: “i’m looking for my lost child.*”

*this being both literally her child who is lost but also metaphorically her own sense of wonder and discovery, which she has lost touch with.

#2: “i do! i keep getting in my own way, it’s all i do!”

#3: “i’m trying to figure that out!”

#4: “i’m chloe’s mother. i’m married to jack. these people are my friends. i’m a writer. i’m a teacher. i’m the dreamer of this dream. i’m lots of things; i’m my own invention!”

and when i first listened to this audio i was blown away by just how perfectly this distilled the character of alice down to her purest essentials so i immediately adopted it for character building purposes and i have never looked back because it is simple and it works.

in this scene there is also a fifth question, “what are you afraid of?” (paraphrasing: “losing the people i love”) which i have over time sort of just lumped in with how i answer the other four, because i find it to be less evocative on its own. however, it is useful information to know about a character and i recommend keeping it in mind when answering the other four.]

#[flings writing advice into the void at 5:30 am] hello

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prinxlyart · 4 years

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No prob! Even if its just moral I love to support the artists I follow! And I will👍! Now I only have one(two maybe) question left for your Willumity AU: Who would propose first and who would they do it? (And if you allow Boscha to redeem herself in this, what relationship would she have with them?) Take care!

Oof this is a toughie. Hmmmmmmmmm........ I mean, lots of shenanigans would ensue, for sure for sure for sure, but what kind of shenanigans.....

[warning: this is like. Hella long y’all. I’m talking like, super deep dive into Boscha redemption territory. I’m not even kidding, it’s taken me all weekend to write this because there’s so much. I don’t even get into proposals...You’ve been warned]

Okay so!

Boscha sees all the girls have gotten together into one big relationship and is sort of knocked back on her ass. Amity? In a romantic relationship with Half-A-Witch and the Human????? What the fuck happened to that girl?! She’s been at a loss for how to even interact with them ever since a rumor had spread that Luz had gone toe-to-toe with the Emperor. Boscha wasn’t sure she believed that before, but watching her supposed friend of more than half a decade just drop her like she was nothing to go all soft over this human? Maybe Luz did do something impressive enough to garner Amity’s attention.

She would rather die than admit out loud (or even to herself) that she had a crush on Amity. It hurt her so much more than she realized when Amity stopped hanging out with her and it was just driving a stake through her heart when Amity defended them and joined their Grudgby team for that stupid challenge. It took her weeks following that whole fiasco to even look at Amity, let alone talk about her with the rest of her friend group, that by the time she thought she was over it, she looked up and saw her blushing and linking arms with both girls she’d played against Boscha with. Boscha may have broken her locker than day. She refused to say why.

If I’m following all of my narrative speculation threads, I think Skara pulls her aside one day and tells her she needs to calm tf down. Luz and Willow are chill as hell and they don’t deserve the vicious death glares Boscha’s been sending them. I think that’s the final nail in the coffin for Boscha. Her other supposed best friend is turning on her too?? But she isn’t??? Boscha’s head and heart are so confused by all this that she just skips the next day of school. I think she spends the day in the (newly-rebuilt) Treasure Shack just staring at the ceiling and tossing a hackey sack into the air while she blasts music that she doesn’t hear because she’s so deep in her own thoughts. Skara would find her immediately after school let’s out. There’s only one place Boscha would be if she skipped class for a day. Before any of the other teens make their way to the Treasure Shack, they leave so they can talk somewhere more private.

I think they spend a really long time hashing out Boscha’s thoughts and feelings. Skara even feels brave enough to bring up why they’re always so mean to others. There are other ways to prove how awesome you are without actively putting others down. In fact, putting others down to be on top is almost like cheating; you’re not actually proving you’re the best if you’re hindering your competition. Skara knows how awesome and amazing Boscha is and can be, but they spend their time just being mean to everyone else rather than actually showing off their talents. She also mentions how scary powerful Willow actually is and confirms the rumors about Luz taking on the Emperor and living to tell the tale so it’s not like they have no magical ability. Amity might just be rolling with the new most powerful witches at Hexside. Dating them even. And have you seen that illusion track kid in action?? He created some complex illusions during their Grudgby match and that was for funsies. They’re a severely powerful group. And they’re liked by everyone because they’re so kind. They’re revered by their classmates for being so powerful and so nice at the same time, meanwhile they just fear Boscha. They don’t think she’s all that great, but she is powerful enough to kill them if need be, so they just stay out of her way. Boscha hates everything Skara points out but doesn’t deny any of it.

Skara admits she’s been talking with Willow a lot about all of this; she’s definitely apologized for the bullying she’s done in the past and Willow actually accepted it which surprises Boscha. A lot of her insight is a mix of hashing shit out with Willow in the Greenhouse after school and some self reflection at home, but that’s why they all hang out together now. Oh, and she and Amity had a sleepover relatively recently where they decided to start their friendship over. Now they’re actually friends and can say so with a smile because it’s true and it’s not just to appease their parents.

Boscha never thought she’d do this in her life but she just bites the inside of her cheek and does it anyway: she asks Skara for advice. All Skara knows to suggest confidently is to think about how she treats everyone and how that can be changed. She also tells her to think about what she actually wants. Does she want to be the school bully? Or does she actually want to be friends with Amity again? Does she maybe want to find out how cool Luz and Willow are? They’re definitely all a package deal by now and it might be hard to be friends with Amity again after how horribly they’d treated Willow over the years. Boscha spends the entire weekend thinking over everything she talked about with Skara.

The following school week, Boscha is having a hard time getting Willow alone. At least one of her girlfriends is always by her side by the time she can find her between classes. It’s not until after school that Boscha manages to beat both Luz and Amity to the Greenhouse to ask Willow if they can talk. Willow is wary at first, but sees that Boscha has a weird look to her that sets aside and fears of Boscha attempting to pick on her. She noticed that Boscha has barely even looked at her in weeks. So she agrees and they find an empty classroom to talk in privately (Willow lets Amity and Luz know that she’s busy and will meet them later). Willow waits expectantly for Boscha to threaten her or yell at her or whatever else and is shocked (and maybe even scared?) when Boscha finally blurts out her apology. She lets Boscha just ramble her apologies for a while and watches her fumble over her words and her face turn a little red and genuinely doesn’t know how to react. Has the world turned upside down? Is it Opposite Day? Is this some kind of elaborate prank? The tears in Boscha’s eyes suggest that it’s not. Eventually Willow stops her and they just sit in silence for a minute while Willow kind of turns it all over in her head. Boscha’s freaking out because Willow is just standing there watching her and she feels like she’s a bug under a magnifying glass. I think Willow truly doesn’t know what to say and just kinda sighs and picks up her bag to get ready to leave and tells Boscha she just needs to think about everything she said. Because she can’t forgive her, not for the years of ceaseless bullying, but she needs to think about whether or not she’ll even accept her apology. Boscha just kinda nods numbly and Willow leaves and Boscha just sorta melts into the floor from exhaustion and frayed nerves.

I think Willow would ask Skara first about what she thinks of Boscha’s apology; they’re still friends after all, even though Skara’s been hanging out with them more often. Skara’s blown away because she didn’t think the talk they had just the previous Friday afternoon would lead to all that. So now Willow knows the apology is real. She’ll tell her girlfriends next because they’re also directly affected by this and they are also both shell-shocked. Amity is unsure of everything simply because she’s witnessed Boscha’s behavior first-hand for years and this just doesn’t sound like her (Luz agrees, oddly quietly), but Willow confirmed with Skara that it was a real apology. That that was why Boscha wasn’t at school on Friday. I think they’re all at the Owl House while they have this conversation so Eda and Lilith both overhear and throw their two snails in; Eda knows from experience that sometimes bullies are only bullies because they’ve been raised that way. She had some school friends that were pretty nasty before realizing just how nasty they were after the kids they were bullying got into some serious trouble. Lilith confirms the stories and also throws in that, based on her own experience, she may be doing all the wrong things with what she thinks are the right intentions. This gives all three of them something to think about for the rest of the night.

I’d say it takes them roughly the rest of the week to really come to a conclusion. The entire time, Boscha is begging Skara for any updates but Skara isn’t in on that loop. So in the meantime, she asks Skara for help in fixing her behavior during their free time. Boscha came to the conclusion on her own that she doesn’t actually want to be a bully, she just wants to feel acknowledged for her efforts. Skara reprimands her for falling back on bullying tactics when things don’t go the way Boscha wants them to. Their other friends in their friend group pick up on this and are 100% on board with helping Boscha be a better person. They were all too scared to disrupt the flow that they had to call her out before, but now that Boscha’s actually trying to be better?? They’re all in to help her. I don’t think Boscha’s ever felt this kind of support before. Her whole life she’s had friends to back her up when she tooted her own horn, her pack to intimidate by numbers. But now they’re actually wanting to help her? They’re not just sticking around so they themselves don’t become ostracized? Boscha’s never really experienced that before and it makes her feel warm inside. At first she thinks she’s sick but Bo (I think her name is Bo; the light-skinned healing track girl with the freckles that taught Skara that fire-to-ice spell) runs a quick diagnosing spell over her and let’s her know that no, she’s not sick, she’s just experiencing happiness for once. Everyone else laughs, even Boscha after a moment because holy shit, she’s actually happy.

Over the course of that week, our main trio is quietly watching Boscha’s metamorphosis from the sidelines. They’re all confused at first; she really is trying to change? Luz is the first one to get excited though. It’s just like one of her favorite character tropes: bully learns to be nice and is better for it (and maybe falls in love with the person they’ve been bullying). Willow scoffs at that, but she does admit that it’s reassuring to see Boscha actually making the effort. In public too, she’s not trying to hide the fact that she wants to change. Luz, being in all the tracks at Hexside, gets the chance to actually talk to each of the girls in Boscha’s friend group about the whole situation and gets some pretty solid evidence that yes, Boscha’s really making that effort. She reports as much back to her girlfriends and by the time the week ends, Willow’s the one tracking down Boscha by the Potions Hall to take her aside for a chat.

Boscha is scared shitless when Willow asks to talk to her for the first time since Monday but obliges and they find a private place to talk. Willow lets her know that she’s ready to accept her apology and Boscha nearly bursts into tears in relief. She knows that it isn’t forgiveness, but Willow is accepting the fact that she’s trying to change and she is sorry for her past actions. Willow fills her in on all the various (drama? Lack of drama?) chatter about her trying so hard to be nicer from Boscha’s friend group that Boscha actually does start crying at that. She’s so relieved that her friends aren’t doing this as some kind of payback; that they’re actually supporting her with no ulterior motives. They’d have every reason and right to, but they aren’t and Boscha is so relieved to hear as much. Willow doesn’t know if she should try to comfort her or what so they both kind of stand there awkwardly for a minute while Boscha wipes the tears from her face. She thanks Willow for accepting her apology and vows to her (maybe a little too dramatically; it actually makes Willow want to laugh because it reminds her so much of Luz) that she will be a better witch. Not just a better witch to her and her friends, but to everyone. When they part ways for the weekend, they’re both buzzing with giddiness. Boscha, because Willow finally accepted her apology and knew that this was a huge first step in her road to being a better witch. Willow because she knows for certain that Boscha’s giving this her all; and maybe they could even become friends. Skara and Amity did a do-over on their friendship, maybe Boscha’s hoping to do the same.

Shockingly, Boscha actually goes to Luz next by sitting next to her during their shared potions class the following week. She slides her a note asking to speak with her outside of class to which Luz agrees (with a silly doodle of a winky face and a thumbs up that makes Boscha nearly giggle). Boscha apologizes to Luz next for her behavior towards her and much to Boscha’s surprise, Luz not only accepts her apology, but forgives her too. Boscha didn’t even expect that. Luz explains that she hasn’t been on the Boiling Isles long enough to be really affected by Boscha’s past bullying, not like her girlfriends. And she’s super grateful and proud of Boscha for reaching out to Willow first and actually going to the lengths she’s been going to to be a better person. Boscha, not used to praise that she wasn’t fishing for, just blushes and nods. Luz sort of coos at her and comments on how cute she looks when she blushes which only makes her blush harder and start threatening Luz with empty promises of violence if she doesn’t shut up. Luz starts running away, cackling, and calls out to her as she’s leaving that she hopes they can be friends some day soon. Boscha silently agrees and goes home with a goofy smile that won’t leave her face no matter how hard she tries because Luz called her cute. She shoves that thought aside for the time being, just grateful that Luz was so quick to forgive her.

Finally, she approaches Amity. Or rather, she leaves a note in her locker because the Abomination Hall and the Potions Hall are nowhere near each other. At this point, Amity is on the fence about what she wants to do because on the one hand, she was never truly friends with Boscha and she’s not sure if she wants to be. On the other hand, she’s been watching Boscha change over the last week and a half and is actually surprised at how hard she’s working at it. She isn’t surprised by how hard she’s working; Boscha always gives 110% into anything she does, she’s just surprised that she’s working at being nice at all. But between Willow telling them how their chat went on Friday and Luz telling them about their talk on Monday (and Luz mentioning how cute Boscha was when she was red and sputtering her empty threats), she’s at least willing to hear her out. So she stands there and waits for Boscha to start and is actually kind of surprised to see Boscha’s already so pink she’s almost the same shade as her own hair. I think she’s silently patient out of shock more so than any amount of politeness. She’s never seen Boscha....flustered????? Luz was right, it is kind of cute, but now isn’t the time for that.

Boscha kept her conversation with Amity for last because she knew it was the hardest one to have. She had been pushing it aside for the last few weeks now; although she’s finally admitted to herself that she (has/had?) a crush on her. By the time they make it somewhere private, Boscha’s so nervous that she’s almost shaking. And Amity is just standing there, watching her, and saying nothing. That is until Boscha nearly starts crying and Amity finally breaks, if only due to concern. They may not have ever been real friends, but neither of them were heartless either. Amity manages to coax some words out of Boscha through her thick tears and once the words start, they don’t stop. Boscha didn’t mean to admit her crush on Amity to her face, but that sort of slipped out with all her other apologies and explanations. Amity desperately wishes Luz or Willow were there with her because they are so much better at emotional shit than Amity is. Amity does flush when she hears Boscha confess her crush on her and doesn’t really know what to say to that. Boscha had a crush on her? This whole time? She had a crush on the Amity from before she met Luz???? Amity considered herself an entirely different person from who she was before she met Luz. To think that Boscha’s quietly been harboring feelings for her all that time? Even before that time?? It’s flattering to say the least, but she definitely has mixed feelings about it. She didn’t like who she was before she met Luz. It’s hard to imagine someone else liking her.

Their conversation takes a long time to really hash out. They have a long history to sort out; sorting out Boscha’s feelings and identifying instances where they were horrible to other witches and how it wasn’t okay. There’s so many things that need to be figured out between the two of them. I think Boscha remembers what Skara had done and offers they have a sleepover to really try to start their friendship over. But I don’t think Amity is actually comfortable with that yet. Not due to Boscha’s crush on her or anything, just because it’s a different situation than it was with Skara. There would be a lot more to cover than just learning about what sort of music the other likes. And Boscha is definitely crushed on the inside, but just accepts it because she knows it’s a lot. I think after a while they both leave with the promise that they’ll continue this conversation later; Amity just needs to consult her girls first. She really doesn’t know how to handle all this and needs to just kinda decompress with her girlfriends and sort out all of her thoughts. Boscha agrees; they both have each other’s scroll contacts still, so they can reach out to each other whenever they’re ready to continue that conversation.

I think Willow and Luz would find it adorable that Boscha has/had a crush on Amity (which only makes Amity blush and chide them for not focusing on the subject at hand). Luz is super excited about Boscha trying to make amends all over the place. She’s even watched her between classes go out of her way to apologize to others too, so it’s not just them she’s trying to make amends with. Boscha always has one of her friends with her when she does this, but mostly as support or to remind her to not use bullying tactics or words when she’s trying to apologize. There’s been a low buzz of rumors going on about it too, Boscha’s strange change of heart has captured the attention of most students. Amity still isn’t sure how to feel about the whole situation though. There’s less to apologize for between them and more just explaining themselves. Why they never held each other accountable for their shitty behavior, why Amity seemed to just tolerate Boscha’s existence while Boscha silently harbored a crush on her; there was less in terms of wrong doings between the two of them and more just laying their cards on the table. I think Luz would be the one to suggest she go through with the slumber party, but maybe also have Skara join them as a sort of mediator. Willow is also hesitant; she doesn’t want to encourage her girlfriend to venture into something that makes her so uncomfortable, but she agrees with Luz that they need to clear the air between them. She admits that having Skara there would actually help a lot with that; Skara seeking Willow out on her own terms to apologize to Willow and talking with her so openly gave Willow more than enough reason to trust her with Amity’s feelings, especially after they reconciled their own friendship.

I actually don’t know what sort of history those girls have, but I’ve actually been in Amity’s place before. I’ve tolerated the existence of a person who developed a crush on me and it was....awkward at best. This person didn’t try to be a better person in the time that I knew them though. They just kept making excuses for their shitty behavior, so I’m genuinely not sure how this would all play out. I think having Skara join them for this weekend-long feelings jam certainly helps things along; she knows when to push them to tell the truth and when to sit back and let them take their time. I think by the coming school week (we’re what, in week 3 of Boscha’s redemption arc by now??? Almost a whole month of this emotional vulnerability??? How exhausting), they do manage to find a stable ground to start rebuilding their friendship. It takes a while, and I think Boscha’s nervous about it at first, mostly due to Willow’s near-constant presence around Amity, but Luz’s just. Sheer determination to befriend Boscha and integrate her into their ever-growing friend group both encourages Boscha and softens Willow’s stiffness in her presence.

Oofa doofa, I don’t even know how long it would take before any of them truly catch feelings RE: Boscha. I think Luz picks up on Boscha’s nervousness around Willow first and teases Boscha about it when they’re alone. And Willow and Amity do agree, Boscha is very cute when she blushes hard enough to match the color of her hair. It’s also fun to watch her freak out and turn into just one big pink blob hissing obscenities at a cackling Luz. I think Luz might get caught up in her fiction character tropes a little too much before she realizes she’s not taking Willow’s feelings into account (not so much that it causes damage; they’ve probably been dating for months now by this time). Luz would have to ask Willow how she felt about Boscha overall and Willow I think....would be unsure for a very long time. I think eventually, long after Boscha’s been fully integrated into their friend group and she’s actually seen who Boscha is when she’s a good friend and not a bully, does Willow begin to feel the inklings of feelings sneaking into her heart. Amity is in a similar boat as Willow, but neither make their feelings known for quite some time. They’re happy with their little triad relationship; they’re not sure what it would mean to include Boscha when they were still so unsure of their feelings.

Luz is so full of love she literally radiates it and it’s contagious. I don’t even thunk she realizes she’s developed a fondness for Boscha until several months after they’ve become friends. Besides, she’s far too busy teasing Boscha about her crush on Willow and Amity to realize how much Boscha also seems to blush around her. I don’t think she gets it until one day Boscha just shoves something in her hands and stalks off to class and when Luz looks at what she gave her, she just kinda gasps. Because Boscha definitely gave her a note that just reads “I like you too, you idiot”. Luz just runs to Willow and Amity and shows them the note and they all three call an emergency girlfriend meeting to sort out what exactly they want to do about this whole situation. Polyamory is hard because it requires so much mindfulness of everyone involved. But they all manage to admit that they’ve been harboring some softer feelings for Boscha and decide to test those waters. And maybe have a little fun with those tests as they do so. They maaaaayybbeee make it a competition to see who can make Boscha blush the hardest. They can all be quite competitive.

Boscha suddenly finds herself at the center of a Willumity Flirt-Off that she was NOT prepared for and doesn’t know how to handle it. All three of them are suddenly winking at her when she catches them looking at her, or maybe sitting way too close at lunch, or even just complimenting her when she doesn’t expect it and she nearly passes out from the attention. I think there’s a moment when she actually walks into a door when the girls realize they’re maybe taking this too far and apologize to Boscha before asking her if she wants to try being in their relationship with them. And I think Boscha does pass out at that.

I think it’s a tough adjustment period for them all. Balancing the four of them takes a lot time and fine-tuning to get it right. Boscha’s still just bewildered that she’s come so far with each of them enough to actually be in a relationship with each of them equally. There’s definitely some jealousy here and there, some old fears of being left behind cropping up, but all of those worries are thoroughly stamped out once they’re addressed. I think they all try very hard to get this to work and they do make it work. Boscha forever considers it the most dramatic year of her life.

I literally cannot even begin to get into proposals this is far too long already but thank you so much for sticking around if you’ve made it this far!!!!! This one in particular got hella long because there were so many moving parts @-@

I’ll be the first to admit: I’ve never been in a polyamorous relationship myself (I’ve never had any polyamorous partners before ;v;). I do know how important communication and establishing individual relationships can be though. It’s always so important to make sure that you and your partners are on the same page before doing anything that can dramatically affect your relationship. Consulting individuals within the relationship is also important. Just because you’re in a group doesn’t mean your relationship with each individual is any less important.

Ngl, this was also kind of hard for me to write because I truly don’t know what Boscha’s like when she’s not a bully. We haven’t seen that much of her character outside of her being a bully that thrives on fear and praise. She could very well be just as much an over dramatic dork as Luz. I don’t even think she knows; she’s been a bully her whole life. What is your personality like when you realize you don’t have to be a bully??? Idk, but that’s why this took me all weekend to write; I really don’t know how Boscha is outside of being a bully. Hopefully we get to see who she is in season 2!!!!!

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keanureevesisbae · 3 years

Text

eunoia - prologue

Summary: Sam is trying to adjust to a life post-Steve Rogers.

Sam Wilson x Quinn (Asian ofc)

Warnings: Some spoilers for Civil War, Inifinity War, Endgame and TFATWS

Wordcount: 2.2k

A/N: Did I just abandon my other wips to work on this one? Maybe. This story follows around 50% of TFATWS storyline, but it’s not identical. I honestly don’t know whether or not people are gonna like it, but if you do, please let me know 🥺Our boy Sam deserves all the fics 🥰

Masterlist // eunoia masterlist //

Not a day goes by that Sam doesn’t think about Quinn. It was at the Joint Terrorist Centre’s headquarters in Berlin when he first saw her on security camera’s. While Bucky was being interviewed, a different set of cameras showed another interrogation room. It was nearly identical to Bucky’s room, though the difference was that there a woman was strapped in a similar containment cell. They had found her earlier that day and according to some intel she was part of another Hydra program, though there was not much known about her yet.

With the reactivated Winter Soldier Program, Sam tried to capture Zemo, before the fugitive disappeared into the crowd. Together with Steve, they took Bucky into an abandoned building. While Bucky slowly regained consciousness and both Steve and Sam being distracted, no one noticed someone sneaking up behind them.

In a twinkling of an eye, both Steve and Sam were tied up with one rope, despite the two of them being on opposite sides of the room. With a certain focus, the petite woman marched up to Bucky, ready to do whatever was her task. As her fingers wrapped around his neck, tips digging in his neck, Bucky seemed to recognize her. A soft ‘hey’ from the Winter Soldier was enough to snap her out of it.

The rope stopped cutting into Sam’s skin, as the woman looked around her. She dropped the rope and she ran her hands through her long black locks. There was something about her that intrigued him. Her eyes darted from one side to the other, before they landed on him.

Sam didn’t know her that long, but he could see that there were a lot of undisclosed feelings. She was confused, maybe even a bit scared.

She introduced herself as Quinn, though adding the fact that she had no idea what her real name was and Quinn seemed fitting.

Just like Bucky, Quinn was also a target of Zero’s spree. She remembers Zemo breaking her out of the secret and deserted Hydra facility back in Munich, where she was put into cryogenic stasis. Zemo released her into the world, only for her to be caught within a few hours. She had no idea if that was Zemo’s intention, her getting caught that soon.

‘Just a few hours ago,’ Quinn explained, ‘there was this guy with black hair, questionable facial hair, who told me to catch a guy. It was a picture of you.’ She gestured towards Bucky, who tilted his head as his gaze softened.

‘You remember me?’ Bucky asked her.

She shrugs. ‘I don’t know,’ she whimpers. ‘I didn’t when he showed me the picture, but… There is something I sort of remember of you. You walked into the room, dressed in all black, looking visibly exhausted. You were in this other cell and looked at me and told me that it was all gonna be okay.’ Quinn let out a soft—yet meaningless—chuckle. ‘That’s not quite working out.’

Without any more painful questions, Steve suggested she came along and Sam and her actually fought alongside the rest on the airport, making sure Bucky and Steve were on that flight and just like the rest who stayed behind, they were imprisoned in the Raft.

Sam watched her, day in, day out. She was yet again strapped inside a containment cell within her cell, another counter measurement to make sure she was unable to escape. Sam saw how she kicked an entire van to the side on the airport, without breaking a sweat. It made him question whether or not she was just cooperating or if the restraints were really working.

Her petite frame was perfect for her to blend in the crowd, in contrast to Bucky, however strength wise, they were around the same level.

Speed wise, it was Quinn who had the upper hand there.

She simply sat in the cell, staring ahead of her. Sam wondered what happened inside her head, but when they made eye contact, all he could see was sadness and hopelessness.

At night, when the lights were dim and everyone was asleep, he told her that it was all gonna be okay.

‘How do you know?’

‘I just do,’ he said.

For the first time, she smiled at him. ‘And I just have to trust you on that one?’

‘It’s the wisest thing to do. Besides, what have you got to lose?’

After Steve freed them from the Raft, he did not know what to expect from her. Deep down, Sam kinda hoped she would join him. On the airport, it was obvious how well they worked together, but just like Clint, Scott and Wanda, she decided to live her own life.

And just like that, she disappeared.

Sam never thought he’d see her again, but when they all met in the New Avengers Facility, when they learned about Thanos’ plan to capture all the Infinity Stones, she walked in as if she never left. She stayed close to either him or Steve, not once speaking up about what she did in the meantime and Sam never felt like he could ask.

When they landed in Wakanda, Quinn took him aside and asked: ‘You got my back?’

He smiled at her, realizing that his efforts in gaining her trust back at the Raft and the Facility had helped. ‘Always,’ he promised.

But he didn’t keep his promise. He didn’t have her back like he promised.

Quinn was the last person Sam saw, before he disintegrated into ashes, together with half of the world population. Her hand on his cheek, as her eyes darted from side to side, slightly confused of what was happening, but also realizing that he couldn’t have her back anymore.

While Sam was aware that she was right there on the battlefield after they were all brought back, the first time he saw her was on Tony’s funeral. After Steve told him, Banner, Bucky and Quinn he was going to return the Infinity Stones and Mjølnir—looking back on it—it was obvious she knew what Steve decided to do. Sam can still hear the words that left her lips then: ‘Are you sure you want that to be your future?’

Sam did not know what it meant then, but he sure does now. After he received the shield minutes later of a much older Steve, Quinn did what she always does: disappear.

He never knew where she went, what she was doing and while he respects her decision, he still thinks about her. Every single day. His hope of seeing her again, hasn’t faded away and sometimes it frustrates him. He barely knew her, why is he so hung up on her then?

Sam lets out a sigh, as he drives his truck over the roads to his destination. It has been a rough couple of weeks. He is working closely together with the United States Air Force and after a few missions, he made his decision whether or not to give up the shield.

Without Steve, the shield is nothing.

He desperately needs a break from all of this and there is no place like Delacroix Louisiana to wind down from the hectic of an after Blip world. He had been there two times, but both times ended abruptly as the Air Force needed him.

Now, he has the time. All the time in the world to relax and forget about an Avenger like life.

Sam parks his car on the dock and his nephews AJ and Cass are the first to notice him. ‘Uncle Sam, uncle Sam,’ they exclaim.

‘Ah, there you two are,’ he says, hugging the two boys tightly.

‘How long are you gonna stay this time?’ Cass asks.

‘Awhile,’ is the answer he is giving his nephews, but that is mostly because he wants to keep them in suspense a little.

AJ scoffs. ‘That’s not an answer.’

‘Okay, okay, gotta give you that,’ he chuckles. ‘How about: at least two weeks?’

The two boys high five each other. His sister Sarah loudly places a crate on the ground. ‘Finally,’ she says, ‘took you long enough.’

‘Nice to see you too,’ he retorts with a smile, before giving her a hug. ‘Missed you.’

‘Of course you did,’ she says. ‘We missed you too, just like almost everyone here. Almost got me thinking that you’re the favorite Wilson sibling.’

‘That’s because I am.’ He carries the crate to where Sarah wants it and he smiles when his eyes land on the family boat. ‘She sure is a beauty.’

‘A broken beauty,’ Sarah says, ‘that is costing me a fortune.’ She places her hands on her hips as she says: ‘With both the house and the boat needing some fixing up, every penny I got to spare is going to the house.’

‘Is this about you wanting to sell it again?’

‘Yes, since I’m not willing to sell a working organ on the black market in order to afford its repairs.’

‘I told you I would fix it,’ Sam says.

Sarah rolls her eyes. ‘Yeah, you told me that months ago, but the boat still isn’t working. You know the situation, Sam, the thing’s gotta go.’

‘Sarah, you’re kidding. We grew up on this thing.’

She scoffs. ‘Yeah, I know, I was there. It’s just that I cannot afford it anymore.’

Sam sure loves his sister, but there are moments where he—just like back in the days—he’d want to put her behind the wallpaper, making her shut up. It’s always this doom thinking. Everything or nothing at all, there is no in between. ‘You know I can help with this.’

‘Yeah, big help you’ve been.’

Sam clenches his jaw. ‘Well, I’m sorry I was taken away by the blip.’

‘It’s not about you being gone for the blip,’ Sarah says. ‘It’s about the fact that there is too much for me to do here. I need to keep the house, so it’s either keeping the boat or the business and since the business is my income, it’s only logical that the boat has got to go.’

Great, he has been back for a few minutes and he is already having this conversation with his sister. ‘I’ve got this, Sarah, I promise.’

She doesn’t believe him, he can see it in her eyes, but decides to drop the matter. Maybe she realizes too that this is no conversation for them to have after he got back for only a few minutes.

The two of them step back on the dock, where his nephews are stretching out their necks, almost like they are searching for something. ‘Whatcha looking at?’ Sam asks. ‘See a pretty lady?’

‘Is that,’ Cass starts, only for AJ to exclaim: ‘Auntie Quinn!’

The two boys drop their stuff and rush over the dock to the woman Sam never thought he’d see again, let alone right here. Quinn holds out her arms and despite the boys being nearly the same height as her, she still manages to catch them both as they jump in her arms. They must’ve known about her enhanced strength, Sam thinks to himself, otherwise they wouldn’t have jumped right in her arms.

But that raises another question: how could they’ve known?

‘Auntie Quinn?’ he asks Sarah.

Sarah nods. ‘Auntie Quinn,’ she confirms.

She’s gonna leave it at that? ‘Care to explain?’

‘I think it was two weeks after you were blipped away. It was chaos here, like literal chaos. People were missing, I hadn’t heard anything from you. She walked up the dock and offered her help. I thought for at least a month she was an angel send from the heavens. She told me she saw you right before you were blipped away and that she went to your place back in DC. She found out about us and decided to see how it all went down here. Thankfully she did, because I desperately needed her help. She assisted with the business, helped raising the boys.’

To say he is confused, would be an understatement. ‘She stayed here?’ he asks. ‘During the entire blip?’

‘Oh yeah,’ Sarah says, holding up her hand to Quinn. ‘I think all in all, she stayed here for four years. Sometimes she went away for a few weeks, but she always returned. Near the end, she called me and told me that Steve needed her. It’s actually the first time I’ve seen her in a while.’

Sam can’t stop looking at the big smiles and chuckles being exchanged between AJ, Cass and Quinn. She hugs his nephews tightly and even from a distance he can tell she is scolding them for growing taller.

‘I think that without her,’ Sarah continues, ‘I barely would’ve made it. She was slightly clueless though. Had issues with the simplest tasks, like cooking and day to day stuff, but she’s a fast learner.’

It shouldn’t warm his heart like it does, but Sam can’t help but smile as he realizes that Quinn went on the look out to care for his family.

‘She told me she had no memories of growing up. Poor thing,’ Sarah says, shaking her head as she as well looks at the trio. ‘She tried so hard to remember, but in all those years she spend here, no luck. I wonder if she does now.’

She doesn’t. Sam doesn’t need to ask her, because he simply knows.

Quinn still doesn’t remember her past.

#sam wilson #sam wilson fanfiction #sam wilson fanfic #sam wilson x oc #sam wilson x ofc #sam wilson x asian ofc #sam wilson x woc ofc #sam wilson x quinn #quinn #asian ofc #woc ofc #anthony mackie #anthony mackie fanfiction #anthony mackie fandom #anthony mackie x ofc #anthony mackie x oc #anthony mackie x asian ofc #anthony mackie x woc ofc #eunoia

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save-the-spiral · 4 years

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PLS PLS LIST THE SWAPS!! TELL ME ABOUT THE SIBLINGS AND ALSO HIFUMI BECAUSE I LOVE HIM (IF YOU WANT!) I will also send more questions in the morning too, excited to see what you’ve been working on!!

OK OK OK !!!!! AHH! So, before assigning talents, I swapped the pools, so for the first game, I use the talents from the second game, and vis versa! For some i listed gender, sexuality, or neurodivergencies, though this isn’t all of them, and I haven’t developed them all to the same level!

This is SO long. I didn’t even bother mentioning things like my plans for the killing games. (I have DR1 planned out in full, but only parts of DR2 and the v3 anime)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT IN HAPPINESS WHEN I SAW I HAD NEW ASK NOTIFS!!

LIST:

Trigger Happy Havoc (first game)

Kyoko Kirigiri- Ultimate Luckster- Mastermind (: Sometimes lesbians can be evil okay! was trained as a detective like everyone in her family and didn’t get the ultimate :) she’s definitely not mad about that :) her luck cycle depends on how far she plans things ahead. her good luck is when she’s spontaneous! She hates when ‘normal’ people are accepted by ultimates.

Makoto Naegi- Photographer (Mostly wildlife and nature photography, with Sayaka helping him for some animal photography (: trans and bi <3 One of sayaka’s birds nests in his hair like all the time)

Kiyotaka Ishimaru- Ultimate Swordsman (AUTISTIC ICON, has trained in kendo since he was a kid, then was essentially given away to the Fujisaki clan by his very stressed dad. Semiverbal, rarely speaks.)

Chihiro Fujisaki- Ultimate Yakuza (Taka is her bodyguard! His family is in debt to hers, the Fujisaki clan is the most powerful in Japan. trans icon, of course, dates Sayaka! Very direct, though she’s far more delicate and polite when talking to taka, her best friend)

Sakura Oogami- Ultimate Nurse (Works as an EMT- her clan still is in martial arts, so she’s still very buff, she assists in injuries at the family dojo. Autistic Icon)

Asahina Aoi- Ultimate Gamer (ULTIMATE ADHD. streams and has a ton of fun, will ramble while breaking records, demigirl who loves her girlfriend sakura :)

Mukuro Ikusaba- Ultimate Chef (Works best with ‘cheap’ food, and making them taste good. a byproduct of growing up on the streets with junko, and junko being bored of the same old food they dug out of the trash. now works closely with junko for her teams’ nutritional needs! autistic and sapphic.)

Junko Enoshima- Ultimate Team Manager (there are SO many sports she can never get bored, and the professional scene is always changing! prefers coaching womens’ teams, because being an ultimate brings them more publicity and usually higher pay :)

Mondo Oowada- Ultimate Prince (OH MY BOY. trans adhd icon. now the crown prince of Novoselic, with a reagent in his place until he comes of age. His service dog Chuck is a maltese and an absolute sweetheart. Chihiro takes him under her wing to teach leadership. also dates taka later OF COURSE, though they’re poly and I may add more ppl to their relationship later.)

Celestia Ludenburg- Ultimate Musician (specializes in violin, most strings, though she can play any instrument. grew up poor, dedicated herself to an instrument and persona to cope)

Byakuya Togami- Ultimate Musician (Yep. two musicians. two catty trans gay icons about to throw down. they HATE each other and grew up as rivals. specialize in classical, they literally tore a professional orchestra full of grown adults apart trying to make them side with who was the best musician. they’re so good that they’re matched, and Hope’s Peak accepts them as one student and combined ultimate. they room together. they fight. Literally if one of them gets expelled, the other does too, so they’re STUCK. eventually they become literally inseparable and insufferable together like the WORST siblings. I love them.)

Sayaka Maizono- Breeder (animal handler) (Specializes in birds!!!!!! has songbirds on her shoulders all the time. will give unsettling animal facts without realizing they’re unsettling. sends her songbirds to serenade chihiro when they start dating <3)

Yasuhiro Hagakure- Gymnast (you see this tall goof who acts like an older brother to everyone and wonder HOW he’s a gymnast. he’s completely different in competitions, though still lighthearted. becomes a big brother figure to mukuro and junko especially <3 also trans bc i say so.)

Leon Kuwata- Traditional Dancer (he just. kinda hates it. it takes SO much work and effort but he takes to it naturally. his cousin kanon is NOT like in canon, instead she’s helpful. he’d literally rather be doing anything else. doesn’t know how to do anything like... basic either. can’t cook. cant do his own laundry. everything was dedicated to traditional japanese dancing before he attended HPA.)

Toko Fukawa- Engineer (writes schematics and is very good at it. gets VERY upset when her plans go wrong. her notes are orderly and perfect. host for their system!)

Syo- Mechanic (a factive of genocider syo, NOT an actual killer. she’s a protector mainly, and also is more adept at hands on skills when it comes to fixing things, her hands are less shaky. Her notes are a disaster and she does it to spite Toko.)

Hifumi Yamada- (???) (reserve course) Protagonist! My BOY. HIFUMI IS GOOD OKAY. He’s autistic and loves anime and gaming! he’s not particularly ultimate-leveled at them, or anything else! Attending Hope’s Peak as a reserve course student! At one point he joins the student council as a reserve course representative even if he’s only a freshman :) He’s also a moderator in Hina’s livestream chat, under the username of JusticeHammer, fastest ban hammer this side of the internet. He's internet friends with hina and sakura, and doesn’t realize Oh We Go To the same SCHOOL until he bumps into them. and realizes hina doesnt know what he looks like. but sakura does. its hilarious. he’s aroace, and during the year they’re locked in HPA, is in a queer platonic partnership with Hina and Sakura, while they’re dating each other. it’s great.)

Goodbye Despair! (second game)

Peko Pekoyama- Lucky student (ohohoh. her luck relies on her conviction. if she has doubts her bad luck strikes HARD. trans!, was taken in by Fuyuhiko’s family when she was a baby, grew up as just another kid in the family. They all expected Fuyu to go off to HPA on his own and then BOOM acceptance letter)

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu- Programmer (He. gets so angry while coding. He has an array of rubber ducks to talk to and work through his coding issues with. trans of course. Very protective of Peko when people say she doesn’t have a ‘real’ ultimate. ADHD and Autistic)

Sonia Nevermind- Writer (Literary Girl) (Her family immigrated to Japan when she was young! She writes a lot of serial killer novels, murder mysteries and horror and all that! Trans and bi :)

Gundham Tanaka- Detective (YEAH my guy is a detective. still talks Like That. Trans and bi and he and Sonia were kinda-dating (t4t autistic power couple in the making) when things started happening. He spends some time with his cool older sister who he looks up to a LOT. He and Sonia talk through things together a lot, they both have those red string walls, one for murder cases, another for a fictional plot lmao.)

Mahiru Koizumi- Moral Compass (my GIRL. autistic. Her morals rely a lot on people taking responsibility and being reliable, and she ends up having to work through some biases she didn’t realize she had when she arrived at HPA. Is still protective of Hiyoko, though that protectiveness is spread a bit thinner to extend to the rest of the class.)

Hiyoko Saionji- Clairvoyant!!! (HI YES I COULD TALK ABOUT HER FOR DAYS. Has actual visions in dreams and when she suddenly faints, but doesn’t really realize they’re uhh Real Visions for a WHILE. uses her status as an ultimate clairvoyant to trick and bully kids when in school for a LONG time, though her homelife wasn’t great with her grandmother trying to find ways to make her visions more consistent. SHES ALSO 12 WHEN SHE JOINS THE 77TH CLASS. she’s just so advanced in academics and her ultimate is so interesting hope’s peak cant HELP but scout her early. she has SO many issues guys no one appreciates hiyoko enough, autistic gifted kid hiyoko my beloved.)

Akane Owari- Gambler (started gambling to help out her family and Got Good at it. is very very conscious of money and food like all the time. Runs the hope’s peak betting pools once she arrives. these ultimates bet on a lot of things. she ALWAYS wins. until she doesnt!!!)

Mikan Tsumiki- Martial Artist (ohhhh Mikan. Still anxious and clumsy (though not like THAT in canon) and literally no one looks at her and thinks Oh The ULTIMATE martial artist?? it isn’t until you see her in the ring that you understand. She started learning self defense as a kid because her (bad) parents essentially said she had to rely on and protect herself and no one else would help.)

Kazuichi Souda- Pop Idol (OH TRANS ICON? he’s nervous and paranoid about Everything still, though now it’s like. oh the entire world is always watching my every move this is Okay (: has the brightest neon album eras. he literally keeps up a like. weird chad persona when interacting with people because he’s masking how hard he’s constantly just internally screaming.)

Nagito Komaeda- Soldier (AHAHAH my mans got issues problems disorder he’s a messssss, this trans guy, this absolute gay. this boy leveled a city of thousands of people with his own hands and some bombs. Still has medical issues, but most of his like. treatments and medicine is hold hostage as long as he stays in line. believes the ends justify the means and anyone who dies to him is obviously weak, because look at him! he’s weak, but that doesn’t matter because he doesn’t have to be the strongest, he just has to be stronger than the weakest scum.)

Chiaki Nanami- Heir (OOF. Agender, uses any pronouns. Doesn’t really. enjoy being the heir. grew up with Byakuya in the same circles. she treats the economy and stock market and stuff like games. enjoys gaming but isn’t good at them. collects so many things. has halls full of collections. Her parents stopped controlling her once she was able to prove she had more money than them and could literally bankrupt them if she wanted.)

Hajime Hinata- Baseball Star (Chiaki’s best friend, his family was upper middle class until he hit it BIG as a baseball star. wants to do BIG things and wants to attend hope’s peak more than anything!! Doesn’t really think of baseball as his THING, just a means to an end! trans :)

Teruteru Hanamura- Biker Gang Leader (started with shaking down some jerks who didn’t pay their food and drink tabs at his mama’s restaurant. now he RUNS their tiny town. His siblings are essentially gang mascots, he works hard to keep them out of trouble (while bringing them to like. meetings where he ends up beating a dude almost to death. its fine). most of what he does it to get more money to keep the restaurant afloat and care for his mama with her health conditions.)

Nekomaru Nidai- Fashionista (the drama. the CHAOS. most people are like ohhh we can never understand this artistic genius when he’s literally just. vibing and has ADHD and a love for coffee. Works a lot on accessible clothing lines for disabled people! Also he and Kazuichi work together sometimes, Nekomaru is good at calming Kaz down and seeing like, the root of whatever problem and making it better. ALSO A TRANS ICON and just flaunts it.)

Imposter- In the hope’s peak days they are impersonating Ryota Mitarai, as a part of the 77th class. In the Killing Game they impersonate Mondo Oowada as the Ultimate Prince. They’re doin’ their best.

Ibuki Mioda- (???) (Izuru Kamakura) Protagonist! Gundham Tanaka’s older sister (though they’re in the same school year). Nonbinary and using just. an array of pronouns alongside she/her, and jokingly fights with gundham for neopronouns like MOM said it’s MY TURN on the rawrself pronouns. She attends the reserve course to stay at her brother’s side. She dresses loudly and acts even louder because !!! she wants to stand out!! in the middle of this drab reserve course hell!! but when things go down, she wants to be someone, to be worthy of being her amazing brother’s big sister. so she accepts some offers.

NON-KILLING GAME:

Ryota Mitarai- Ultimate Analyst (stays in his room. He’s terrified of the outside world but fascinated by it. watches hope’s peak academy through security feeds, picking up on little details. he just wants to understand things but never looks at the big picture.)

Chisa Yukizome- Ultimate Boxer (Homeroom teacher!! She’s working really hard and believes in everyone! Some are intimidated by talent, but she’s never hurt anyone outside of the ring! Dating Kyosuke)

Juzo Sakakura- Ultimate Student Council President (Has anger issues, though his work at reigning them in assisted in becoming an Ultimate. Was responsible for security and the Hope’s Peak student council. Dating Kyosuke)

Kyosuke Munakata- Ultimate Housekeeper (Meticulous, works himself to the BONE even if he’s good enough to not have to do that. Is working on establishing another Hope’s Peak! Dating Chisa and Jozu!!!)

Seiko Kimura- Ultimate Blacksmith (GIVE MY GIRL KNIVES!! She’s an anxious gal, always wearing a facemask that filters the air in her forge because she has some respiratory problems. she prefers making more decorative pieces like an artist, but sometimes can create utilitarian pieces or tools to fit specific needs. Still a doormat)

Ruruka Ando- Ultimate Pharmacist (She constantly asks Seiko for new tools for her developments in medicine, saying its all for the advancement of humanity, so Seiko denying any request is SELFISH, though she never thinks to make anything for seiko’s health issues. Dating Izayoi. Specializes in medicine for mental health. Not Doing Great :)

Sonosuke Izayoi- Ultimate Confectioner (He loves sweets. LOVES them. Creates things that look plain, ordinary. but taste so GOOD you CRY and maybe ascend for a little bit. sometimes Ando makes cool new drugs to put in the sweets, who knows! It’s a mystery! He always has like. a huge refrigerated case of fresh cakes, and constantly has a lollipop in his own specialty recipe in his mouth.)

#ask #former-champion #danganronpa #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #super danganronpa 2 #I could tag every character but consider this: ITS 3 AM IT TOOK ME OVER AN HOUR TO WRITE THIS #not wizzy #dangan ronpa

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davidmann95 · 4 years

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now that it's over, thoughts on Bendis' Superman as a whole?

pretenderoftheeast said: So, thoughts on Bendis' Superman and Action Comics' tenure altogether and separately now that it's over?

Anonymous said: Best and Worst things about Bendis' Superman run

Anonymous said: Now that it is over, what are your thoughts on Bendis' runs on Superman and Action Comics as a whole?

Anonymous said: Retrospective thoughts on Bendis' Superman as a whole now that it's, I guess, done?

Anonymous said: Hey so since Bendis’ Superman stuff seems to be done, what did you think of the run as a whole?

I decided to hold off a bit on writing on this one, if only so that I could reread the Action Comics side of it since Superman stood out in my memory a lot more. But now I have, and as we’re heading into a bold new era of Superman (and it’s coming in fast - just since I made my Superman in 2021 predictions we’ve gotten Ed Pinsent finally reprinting his legendary bootleg Silver Age Superman, Steve Orlando announcing his Superman analogue book Project Patron, an official shonen Superman redesign for RWBY/Justice League, PKJ’s Super-debut turning out far better than I ever expected, Superman & Lois’s first proper trailer largely taking people pleasantly by surprise, and my learning that there’s a Sylvester Stallone Old Man Superman analogue movie titled Samaritan coming out this summer) we’re ready to take a look back with at least a touch of perspective. I’ll lead with complaints, so everybody who’s been waiting for me to say that Bendis on Superman was Bad, Actually, savor this because it’s as close as you’ll get.

The Bad

* I hate to say it, but rereading that side of the run there’s no two ways about it: the structure of Action Comics as a whole is a mess. It baffled me from day one that it was the more acclaimed of the two books for so long - I guess people are hardwired at this point to think of ‘street’ stuff as where Bendis is supposed to be - because it was immediately clear that Superman had a well-defined story he wanted to tell, while Action was the usual Bendis off-the-cuff improvisation. It’s barely even a story in the same way, and it’s certainly not the ‘Metropolis crime book’ people took it as: it’s 28 issues of Superman and his supporting cast stuffed a pinball machine with the Red Cloud pinging off of each other as we wait to see who falls in the hole at the bottom, and partway through Leviathan and the Legion of Doom and 90s Superboy are tossed into the mix to keep it going a little longer. On an issue-to-issue basis it’s frequently really good, but the core plot of the book is *maybe* six issues stretched out over two and a half years.

* I’ve gone into this some before, but structure-wise Unity Saga also has problems: Phantom Planet rules but either it needed to be cut or the back half needed to be a year all its own in order to accommodate the scale of what it’s attempting. It’s got an interstellar civil war leading into the formation of the United Planets, family drama, Rogol Zaar’s whole deal, and Jon’s coming of age, and I’d say only that last one is really properly served. Even Jon forming the United Planets, while contextually somewhat justified in terms of 1. The situation being so far gone he’s the only one who’d even think in those terms, 2. Things being bad enough that these assorted galactic powers would be willing to try it, and 3. Him having the S on his chest to sell it, isn’t at all built up to within the run itself.

* Rogol Zaar sucks. He’s made up of nothing but interesting ideas - he’s an ersatz warrior ‘superman’ of a bygone age of empires up against the new model, he’s the sins of Krypton as a conservative superpower come home to roost, he’s while not outright said to be definitely Superman’s tragic half-brother and the culmination of everything this run does with Jor-El - but none of them manifest on the page, he’s just a big punchy dude with a dumb design who screams about how you should take him seriously because he’s totally the one who blew up Krypton. Even a killer redesign by Ryan Sook for Legion of Superheroes can’t fix that. There are lots of bad villains with good ideas who are redeemed with time and further effort, but I can’t imagine Zaar getting that TLC to become a fraction of whatever Bendis envisioned him as.

* The second year of Action Comics, after establishing itself in its first as one of the most consistently gorgeous books on the stands, leads with Szymon Kudranski’s weak output and then concludes with John Romita Jr. turning in some career-worst work. The latter is particularly egregious because for that first year Bendis writes a really collected, gentle Superman so him getting pushed into being more aggressive should have an impact, but Romita draws such a craggy rough-looking Superman in the first place that it mutes any sort of shock value.

* WE NEVER LEARN WHAT’S UP WITH LEONE’S CAR, WHAT THE HELL. You don’t just DROP THAT IN THERE and then NEVER FOLLOW UP.

The Good

* Superman got his real clothes back after 7 truly ridiculous years.

* Bendis fundamentally gets Clark’s voice in a way unlike almost any other writer - even all-around better writers of the character almost never approach how spot-on he is with having Superman speak and act exactly how Superman should.

* Supporting cast front and center! He writes a dynamite Lois, Perry, and Jimmy (even if many of Lois’s more out-there decisions in the run don’t end up retroactively justified the way you’d hope), Ma and Pa are more fun than they’ve been in decades in their brief appearances, he manages to turn having Jor-El in the mix into a positive, and the Daily Planet as a whole has an incredibly distinctive vibe to it like never before that I hope is taken as a baseline going forward.

* The non-Rogol Zaar baddies? All ruled. Invisible Mafia and Red Cloud are both brilliant ideas executed solidly if overextended. Zod as Kryptonian Vegeta, Mongul as a generational perpetual bastard engine primed to be incapable of self-reflection, and Ultraman as “what if Irredeemable but he’d never been a good guy and also he was a Jersey mobster” are the best versions of those characters by numberless light-eons. Lex is on-point in his sparse appearances. Xanadoth as a mystical cosmic monster older than time who still talks like a Bendis character is however unintentionally a hoot. The alt-universe Parasite is a more intimidating Doomsday than Doomsday ever was. And Synmar as an alien culture’s attempt at creating their own Superman and messing up the formula when they make him a soldier can and should be a legitimate major ongoing villain coming out of this run.

* Pretty much all the art other than what I mentioned already. Fabok does a good job bookending The Man of Steel and Ivan Reis does the work of his career anchoring Superman (special props to Reis as well for drawing the first ever non-Steve Rude interesting-looking take on Metropolis), and meanwhile you’ve got Jim Lee, Jose Luis Garcia Lopez, Doc Shaner, Steve Rude, Kevin Maguire, Adam Hughes, Patrick Gleason, Yanick Paquette, Ryan Sook, Brandon Peterson, and David Lafuente doing their own parts.

* Closely related to the art, all the little flourishes with the powers. Super-speed having a consistent visual with the background coloring changing, Clark internally putting numbers to the degrees of force behind his punches and what situations which numbers are appropriate for, ‘skidding to a halt’ mid-flight before crashing through a window, the shonen-ass major throwdowns as portrayed by Reis, how his super-hearing is handled as a prevalent element. Lots of clever bits that added flavor to what he does.

* While Unity Saga has problems, the whole of what Bendis does in Superman as a means of forward momentum for Clark and his world is excellent. The sort of three-act structure of:

** Clark is led to question his place in things over the course of a few adventures

** Involvement in the larger cosmos and the impact it has had through and on his family makes him realize the answer to his questions is that he needs to step up in a bigger way because there’s no benevolent larger universe to welcome Earth with open arms, nor a cosmic precedent for everything turning out for the best without some help

** As a consequence of the lessons learned by this change in the status quo Clark is inspired to make his own personal change in revealing his identity (with Mythological basically being an epilogue showcasing a ‘standard’ standalone Superman adventure while simultaneously highlighting his new status quo and how it fits in as a summing-up of Bendis’s take)

…does a great job of shepherding through ideas that lend a lot of forward momentum to Superman of the kind he hasn’t seen in a long time. Not perfect, but far lesser stories with far lesser ambitions have made huge impacts, so I’d certainly hope at least some of this sticks around even if, say, regardless of any retcons to the main line there are always going to be stories with Clark as a disguise and Jon as a kid. Oh, speaking of whom,

* KISS MY ASS, EVERYTHING WITH JON KENT RULED

Ahem. Probably a less confrontational way of putting that.

Do I think there was more gas in the tank for Jon as a kid? Totally, making him likeable and viable was the one really good thing the Rebirth era accomplished for Superman and I expect we’ll continue seeing more of it in the future one way or another. But whether or not him being aged up was Bendis’s decision, or working with marching orders to set up the eventually-(kinda-)discarded 5G, the coming of age narrative here is fire. He keeps the essential Clark Kent kindness and bit of Lois Lane cheekiness that reminds you he’s still their kid, which is a combination Bendis is basically precision-crafted to write, but his trials by fire give him a background entirely unlike the by-the-numbers “and here’s how Superman’s great kid grew up to be a great superhero too” narrative you’d expect while still arriving at that endpoint. If superheroes live and die by metaphors then Jon in here is what it means to grow up written as large as possible: leaving home for the first time (and seeming to shoot up overnight!), getting into the muck of how the real world works, being beaten down by authority wearing faces you’ve been taught to trust, scrambling to get through with the whole world against you, and in the end getting through by learning to rely on your own strength while keeping your soul intact and your head held high, and even managing to speak some truth to power. It gives him a well-defined life story with room to go back to and explore the intricacies of each leg of for decades to come in a way Superman hasn’t had since the original Crisis - someone someday is going to write a The Life & Times Of The Son Of Superman miniseries and it’s going to be one of the greats - and negates any question that he’s earned his stature as the heir apparent.

* Coming out of this, Superman’s world is fascinating. He’s out but rather than giving up his day-to-day life he’s openly spending part of his life as CLARK KENT: SUPER-REPORTER and part of his job on the cape-and-tights side of things is now KAL-EL: SUPER-SPACE-DIPLOMAT, Lois Lane coruns a foundation helping people whose personal continuities have been fucked over by Crisis shenanigans, Jimmy Olsen owns the Daily Planet but is still doing Jimmy Olsen stuff because that’s how he gets his kicks, and Jon Kent is going to college in the future. I’m not anywhere near naïve enough to think that’s how things are going to be forever, or shortsighted enough to think there’s no value left in the traditional setups, but god I hope these developments stick around for a long, long time to come and potentially become the new ‘normal’ as far as the ongoing shared universe stuff goes, because it all feels like the right and promising next steps to take for the lives of these characters. However it got here, for all the pluses and minuses along the way even if I maintain the former very much outweighed the latter as a reading experience, Bendis has a lot to be proud of if that’s the legacy he leaves on these titles.

* The recap pages at the desks!

#Superman #Brian Bendis #Jon Kent #Opinion

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