#since getting a smartphone and trying the tumblr app

[shitpostingfromthebarricade]

Aw, cute.

[cyberphuck]

The Human Voices Project

So I have a very very dear friend who has been blind since birth. They're actually pretty good at being blind-- they have a Masters in Eyeball Science, live independently, and make amazing art (by pressing their face so hard against the drawing surface to see it that they used to get sores on their cheeks!). They have also gone through a lot of shit-- some of it, but not all, due to being a disabled trans person-- and though they have been trying their hardest to keep a smile on their face, they live in a place where they have few in-person friends, accessible social spaces are hard to get to (or don't exist, or cost too much), and sometimes they don't have the energy to go out at all. They use a screen reader to hang out on tumblr and on discord etc, but one time, after a DnD session over voice chat, they told me that it was always so quiet in their apartment after the session was over, and that it was nice to hear real people talking. That stuck with me. Last week I started asking friends and family to record themselves talking-- about anything. My older brother and his wife told funny stories about crazy things they'd done. My friend who loves the circus arts described a particular act that they loved. Dad told a story of his own, and Seb and I recorded ourselves trading banter while he played Mario Kart. People read stories, read poems, described what they saw while on a jog through their neighborhood. A whole bunch of people, just talking, so that my blind friend could listen to a real human voice whenever they wanted-- not a polished podcast, not a sponsored youtube video, but a regular person.

I uploaded this first batch of audio files to a google drive folder and sent it over to my buddy. They loved it! They downloaded all the files to their phone so they could listen whenever they wanted. And I thought, there must be more people who want to tell stories about their lives, or talk about their favorite subject, or read poems that mean something to them.

If you have a way to record a digital audio file (most smartphones and tablets have a native recording app) and would like to participate in the Human Voices Project, you can send an audio file to thehumanvoicesproject (at) gmail [dot] com.

Guidelines: mp3 is the *preferred* format because it'll play on most devices without having to have a special app. If you send me something other than an mp3 I can convert it, but I would appreciate it if you converted it on your own.

most subjects are okay; the only thing that's absolutely a no is talking about or describing guts, innards, or viscera. Try to *avoid* explicitly describing abuse (of anyone, including animals), and if you're reading a story or poem, let me know if it's in the public domain or not so I can make sure to put those in a different folder.

you can introduce yourself if you want but you don't have to.

the recordings I've gotten are usually between 3 and 5 minutes long, but I also recorded myself reading a short story at 20 mins, and a friend talked about not knowing how to swim for 90 seconds, so any length is fine.

Right now the google drive folder containing the audio files is private. I might make it a public thing someday, but as for right now it's still a thing for my friend, to fill up the silence and brighten their day. Thank you so much to the people who've already contributed, and thanks also to all those who'll contribute in the future!

[earianne]

11%

Out of 1 Million... 110,000

That’s how much of my marital* happiness I am giving to the Insta and the Fb. (“The Opt-Out Family” by Erin Loechner) *feeling in my gut that it’s all happiness.

If I started with 1,000,000 happiness and it compounds 10% on average year over year, that means that I am actually losing 1% of my happiness before it’s even spent. So basically after 17 years of losing myself to scrolling on meta, my base happiness is less than what it was 17 years ago.

The light bulb moment.

That’s literally everything I need to know.

I absolutely need that 11% of happiness that social media is stealing from me.

I deleted my Instagram, Twitter (X), and one of my Facebook accounts. I’m planning to migrate my YouTube to another platform (tbd).

I’ll still be on Tumblr because I love writing and sharing and at least with Tumblr there is an “end” to the amount of scrolling (unlike ig/fb/yt).

I will probably go back onto one of my Instagram acc’s because I’m realizing that I want to keep some of the captions I made for some of the pictures and transfer that to an actual photo album. Then delete.

I’ve also been turning off my phone unless I absolutely need it for something.

It’s by my computer - where it should be.

I’d like to eventually go down to a dumb phone.

Things that I’m realizing make me dependent on a smartphone still:

Authentication App - I can probably get this on my computer somehow. But this is one thing I didn’t think of.

Google maps - I would probably want to get a GPS put in my car at some point. Not that I need need it, but it is a lot safer to drive with a GPS than trying to look at anything else (even mapquest printouts).

Things that I’m realizing about not having a literal computer in my pocket or ON while roaming the house/life:

Dependency on Tech and Info - I feel like having so much info and tech available ALL THE TIME is not this amazing thing we think it is. I remember moving to another country and I didn’t have Internet for those first few weeks and while it was tough, I would chose that over getting a SIM card right away - if at all. I also remember, in that same country, bussing to the cit every weekend, turning off my phone, and wandering around for the whole day. It was lovely.

Desire to connect with others - since I’m off the Insta, I’ve also realized how much I long to just sit and catch up with others. Show me your pictures, share your stories, laugh with me, be real.

Making time for what matters - Yes, I don’t have access to my phone during nap-times (the time I was using to post here). I actually snuck away and am listening carefully for when my baby wakes up. Writing is important to me. So important that I’ll risk waking up my baby to do it.

I’ve begun to notice this about other things as well.

…Studying Japanese, for example, I used to do on an App. Now, I’m reading through a book I bought back in Japan. It’s MUCH slower than learning on an app. Maybe… maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be?

…Learning to photo edit and scrapbooking. It’s so much easier with an app!! Then, have I actually learned to photo-edit or apply a filter?

…Sharing things with others. Again, so much easier with an app! Then, have I actually learned to share with others in a way that builds connection?

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

That’s all my ranting about tech today.

[omamervt]

It's weird to me to see people talk about like, why Social Media X is the best place for Y because it has Z tools and that's why we all ended up there and not taking a moment to acknowledge that the phenomenon of people going there for Y predates Tool Z. Like, every time if you look into it. Twitter didn't become the de facto app because of its discovery, it became the de facto because Facebook did the Pivot to Video scam and then tanked engagement on any page that wasn't willing to pay for it. Its discovery features were almost entirely based on hashtags up until around the same time as the Facebook stuff, Likes weren't advertised on the timeline until AFTER I rejoined the site in 2017. Most of the stuff people "depended" on Twitter for were added after the site was already being used that way, or was a result of a feature added to change how existing users were using the site in the first place to try and make it more appealing to new ones. The site started out as one where you'd register your phone and then send a text message to a number you were given and it'd get posted as a Tweet, the site was just for viewing others' tweets. Now that feature was removed because nearly everyone has a smartphone and can download the app.

Even Tumblr, you look at the culture that's prevailed on this site since its inception, the good and the bad, and every single tool that supports that use style was added long after the site was being used that way. Reblogs were being used to make collaborative posts back when it made posts into an impossible to follow mess. It became a hub for art blogs back when there weren't nearly as many posting options. Most of the incredible embedding tools were apparently added after the porn ban and ensuing exodus (I wouldn't know, I barely ever used the site in the before times, my experience was largely in screenshots).

This one makes me sad, but Discord was built as a lightweight chat room for gaming groups, but it eventually grew to do everything Slack does but better, and more, and then it started replacing actual forums and wikis. And when Discord saw it was being used that way, they started adding threaded posts. They've even copied the chat bar for video calls to mimic Zoom. Frankly it's become a bloated mess as a result of all the new groups it constantly tries to appeal to, but something made them think they could pull Slack's clients, then Forums', then Zoom's, and it was observed use cases. People were already using it like Slack because it had a relatively similar setup with different rooms and roles, but allowed Users to create one profile for every server they joined and gave them more privacy on and off that server, so they started making it more like Slack. People didn't intend to do forum stuff on Discord, but people realized it was a good way to directly engage their audience, even if it did require them to be a bit more involved, so they added threaded conversations. It was already a competitor to zoom the moment they added free voice calls with no time limit, and there was only one thing zoom could do that it couldn't, so they added the call chat to servers.

The point is, I see a lot of people hesitant to leave Twitter because "no other site lets them do what Twitter does in the same way" even though the way it's being run, more things stop working every week and it's a matter of time before there's an outage that the site can't fix, or a security breach it can't cover for, or one of the million points of liability Musk has created for it causes the site to go down. Some of them just... don't have a backup plan for that. Tumblr, or Instagram (ok probably not instagram), or Cohost, or Reddit, or... idk what was that one mobile-only site that barely works? Hive? Could begin working to accommodate how they see groups of users like you using their site, but you have to be there and starting to use it like that. And I don't know why I'm saying this on Tumblr, because I'll bet anyone who's following me came here for a Twitter backup plan like I did. Probably because it'd take too much effort to thread this. But anyway. I think about this kind of stuff from time to time.

[cosmermaid]

I have a theory on the new tumblr users who say things like “serial liking will get you blocked”.

I went to dinner with a coworker recently and she brought her daughter who was like, 19. This girl’s phone was constantly going off with notifications, and her camera light flashed every time it did. She didn’t know how to turn these features off.

I’ve seen articles about how average tech literacy actually dropped with gen Z when compared to millennials, despite having access to computers and smartphones from childhood. I’m not sure the reason for it, I’m not going to bash them for it either, since it’s probably not their fault.

I’ll bet if you see a new tumblr user that migrated from tiktok and they hate people who serial like their posts, it’s because they have tumblr installed as an app on their phone (mistake 1) and they have all the notifications turned on. (mistake 2.)

If any of this describes you, please understand. Not every social media needs to be an app on your phone to function. Tumblr and Facebook will drain your battery and use up space that they don’t need, and you can just log into those from a web browser. I know Instagram and Tiktok require being an app to function, but you can go into your phone settings and turn notifications for those off. Check notifications in the apps when you have time to dedicate to them, and they won’t drive you as crazy.

Your phone has two primary functions, communication and entertainment. You can limit the communication to what you feel is actually important, like family/friends trying to contact you for something, then anything related to entertainment you’d turn the notifications off so you can check them at your own leisure. You should be able to decide when you want to check tiktok or tumblr notifications, or when you want to look at youtube, your phone should not be buzzing every second of the day. Your entertainment shouldn’t be a chore or an irritation to you.

[partysheart-archived]

IMPORTANT HEADCANONS TO CONSIDER

CAN THEY USE CHOPSTICKS:   for the most part. one of the rare times that his family has ordered takeout or he’d had to do so for himself whenever his parents weren’t home for dinner, he’d try to use the chopsticks that would come with it. he’s not perfect at it by any means, but he’s not the worst.

WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN THEY CAN’T SLEEP:   read, write stories, or work on d&d campaigns. otherwise he’d just toss and turn until he either eventually falls asleep or his alarm goes off.

WHAT WOULD THEY IMPULSE BUY AT THE GROCERY STORE:   starbursts ( particularly the lemon flavored ones ), hands down. he sees them and can’t help but grab them and throw them into the cart. if he can’t get his hands on that, he’d buy lemonheads since he knows the unlikelihood of a bag of starbursts with mostly lemon ones isn’t very high.

WHAT ORDER DO THEY WASH THINGS IN THE SHOWER:   hair, body, face.

WHAT’S THEIR COFFEE ORDER:   mike is more likely to order a hot cocoa than actual coffee, but if he does get coffee, he wants it iced and french vanilla flavored.

WHAT SORT OF APPS WOULD THEY HAVE ON THEIR SMARTPHONE:   he’d have the basics: f/b that he never uses but keeps around incase his mother wants to tag him in something, i/nstagram that he rarely posts to but keeps so he can check out his friends’ stuff,  t/witter that he never updates and probably forgets even exists unless it’s pointed out to him, tumblr just so he has a place to post about his d&d stuff, s/napchat just so can send pics of shit he sees to will bc ‘i saw this and it made me think of you’ / ‘i had to show you this’, and d/iscord so he has a place to contact friends when they wanna play online games. he also might have older games like t/etris or a/stroids to play when he gets bored, but otherwise, he probably doesn’t use his phone too much.

HOW DO THEY ACT AROUND CHILDREN:    he acts like himself, though he probably speaks in a lighter, friendlier tone. he gets very used to children when he gets older due to working in a planetarium and actively engaging with the kids to get their input.

WHAT WOULD THEY WATCH ON TV WHEN THEY’RE BORED AND NOTHING THEY REALLY LIKE IS ON:    i could see him either leaving it on the history channel or mtv so he can have some background noise while he does whatever.

tagged by: @munsontm & @imtheircleric ( thank you both ! ) tagging: anyone who hasn’t done this yet, but would like to !

[lantur]

I'm loosely following a "break up with your phone" protocol because in my experience, smartphones + my ADHD don't mix. It's very easy for me to "lose" chunks of time when my phone is involved, so I've been trying to get that in check.

Since June, I've been implementing steps like deleting social media apps, and spending random chunks of time each day with the phone inaccessible to me (usually put in drawer in the other room). Last week, I put my phone permanently on focus mode, which blocks all notifications except phone calls.

One of the biggest steps in the protocol is sleeping with the phone away from you. I've slept with my phone under my pillow for years and years, because I used it as an alarm clock. The problem with this is that every morning after waking up, I would be on my phone for ~20-30 minutes before I even got out of bed.

I finally bought a proper alarm clock, so the phone will live/be charged in my bathroom overnight. I did this for the first time last night and it was a huge deal for me to get up when my alarm went off and get out of bed without checking Reddit, and my favorite subreddits, and tumblr, and messages first.

I'm actually excited. I can recognize that I was pretty addicted to my phone until summer of this year, and I'm happy to be breaking free of that.

[anarchopuppy]

What would you say is the minimum a baby-anarchist needs to do for digital security? Especially on a smartphone. Thanks!

No such thing as a minimum. Anything you do to strengthen your infosec is good - even if you aren’t airtight, you’re still reducing information flow (and you’ll never be airtight anyway)

If you’re planning something illegal or which otherwise has a high probability of making you a serious target for the state (like forming an occupation or autonomous zone, for instance), you should leave your phone at home playing music or youtube, meet in person, and talk somewhere far away from any device with a microphone

For daily use, though, get Signal (and get your activist contacts on Signal too if they’re not already), delete any social media app that you could use your browser for (like fedbook and tumblr), download Tor Browser for Android or Onion Browser for iOS, and try out Orbot too (though I had lots of problems with it on some of my apps so I had to turn down some of its settings). None of that should drastically alter your usage

On desktop, Tor Browser + uBlock Origin will cover most of your bases as long as you’re careful where you put your information. Don’t use any other browser extensions or a VPN while using Tor Browser, since those will just make it less secure

I have more detailed tips in my #infosec tag, but this should be good for just a basic layer of protection

[yourcreepyneighborhoodelftwink]

I remember seeing a comic where Ben was playing a video game when Slender Man came up to him and said "Hey, remember how you said you wanted a pet?" and gestured to Toby, who was standing next to him and still covered in ash from the fire.

I REMEMBER THAT, THAT COMIC IS ACTUALLY WHAT GOT ME INTO THE SHIP

Edit: Here's a link I found

Okay, story time, when I was younger, about 2011 ish?, still in my "little girl" era, my friends actually tried to get me into the fandom, but it was a little hard to drag me in because I wasn't allowed to have a Tumblr or a Facebook or any social media whatsoever, I only had a smartphone with no service (they were pretty new), but I could get on the internet when I was at home and there was Wi-Fi. Problem is, my dad was strict as HELLLLLLLL and went through my phone every day (up until I was 18 and yes I still wasn't allowed any social media then, I didn't get a Tumblr until I moved to my mom's, a month before the Great Titty Ban), and I was too shy and anxious to really try to rebel against that.

ENTER YOUTUBE DUBS OF TUMBLR ASK BLOGS. My GOD, these were my godsend, he never went through my YouTube history, for some reason, so I got to experience my fleeting glimpses of fandom through them, and I stumbled across a dub of a Toby ask blog that featured TicciDROWNED fairly prominently, and they also dubbed that comic (I don't remember if it was actually part of the blog but whatever).

And that's the MOMENT that TicciDROWNED clicked for me. I had slowly been getting introduced to the idea that you don't have to wait for characters to share a canonical kiss, not only can you want them to be together without that, but they can BOTH be BOYS, and I saw that EXACT comic, and it's just

*Nintendo Switch sound effect*

And my brain has not known peace since that day

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Unhinged

One-Shot

This one-shot is my entry for @jtargaryen18 's super spooky Haunted House writing challenge! The prompt was - A celebrity haunted house for charity will be open one night only, Halloween night. You spent days trying to get a ticket online for the event. Thanks to a bad day on Halloween, you get there only a minute before the line closes. You’re the last person to go in and thinking that’s either really bad (everyone is tired or would be in a hurry to see you out) or really good (maybe you’d get some extra time with the one you came to see). You are never seen again.

I had extremely fun writing this story with Mr Freezy! 😍 I hope you guys enjoy it! Please click here to check out all the other wonderful entries!

Description: Villain!Reader meets Mr Freezy aka Robert Pronge and, let's just say they don't get along well.

Warnings: Torture, mentions of murder, non-consensual acts of sex, abusive language, dark theme. ONLY PROCEED IF YOU ARE 18+

Word count: 4300~

My Main Masterlist

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

You looked at the pale, lifeless face of a certain Mr Patterson. Skin shriveled up, eyes gouged out, side of the face smashed in and the mouth permanently set in a horrified expression, Mr Patterson laid on the table in front of you as his widow sobbed beside him.

"I-I can't ev-even look-k at hi-him," she croaked between her tears, "My sweet-sweetheart, who-o would d-do this-ss to yo-you?" she wondered rhetorically as she completely broke down in the arms of her daughter, a woman of closely your age.

The daughter couldn't bear to look at her deceased father as she consoled her other parent. She looked at you with sadness, "Can you, maybe, make him look, a little, a bit, presentable?" she inquired quietly, "It's not going to be an open casket funeral. But we, we just want him to, you know, look a little…like slightly, better."

You almost laughed at her face on the request, but years of working at a funeral home as a makeup artist to the dead had trained you not to gawk any client's requests.

You successfully suppressed your laughter, and instead donned a sincere expression, "I will surely try my best ma'am. I am sorry for your loss, please accept my condolences."

As the mother-daughter duo left the room, you turned to face Mr Patterson. "Condolences my ass," you muttered as you spat at his face. It was ironic how the majority of your victims found their way to the funeral home where you worked. Take Mr Patterson here for example, not less than 48 hours ago he was begging you to spare his life, and now, here he was, laid out in front of you, lifeless.

You considered him for a moment, then decided against wasting your good makeup on this pervert bastard. Or maybe he might have been innocent? Who cared, he was dead now. Maybe he was truly looking at the Halloween decorations hung around the house behind you that night, or maybe he was just ogling at you. It was dark so you couldn't get a good look. But hey, you had a suspicion that he was checking you out, so you obviously had to teach him a lesson!

You still remembered killing your first victim. It had been your piano instructor. That lecherous pedophile had forcibly pulled you down on his lap, stating that sitting on him will make you a better pianist. You had grabbed the nearest glass vase and brought it down multiple times on his head, until the carpet beneath was red and his screams were all but an echo in the living room of your parent's house.

Since then, murder had become an activity from which you rarely partook in, then turned in to a pastime, a hobby, a passion and now finally, it was as natural and as necessary as breathing for you.

It didn't matter whom you killed anymore. Whether it was an old man looking at his neighbor's Halloween decorations, a dull attendant at the supermarket, an enthusiastic door-to-door salesman, a college student listening to irritating music on their headphone, or an incessant toddler crying for attention in the store, you didn't care. Anybody who irritated you, or pushed your buttons in the wrong way, or just, was at the same place at the same time with you doing something you disapproved of in your mind, you made sure to dispose of them.

The world had enough idiots, you didn't need any more of them around you.

You quickly wound up your work and left. Halloween was tomorrow and you had to make a quick stop to a local celebrity haunted house that you hoped had already been set up. It was being organized by an NGO for some God knows what charity and the tickets had proven to be difficult to procure. So you had just decided to break into the establishment a night prior.

Unfortunately, the exhibit was still being set up when you reached the venue and so, you decided to try again tomorrow night.

🎃

"OMG I can't wait to see him!" the teenagers standing in the line for the exhibit squealed as you watched them from the shadows. You looked at them with disgust, open contempt. Bloody fucking teenagers, you thought as you regarded their extreme enthusiasm. Clad in rhinestone studded clothes which sparkled under the streetlight, all the teenagers were busy on their iPhones. You rolled your eyes as each girl went live on either Instagram, Snapchat, Tik Tok or God knows what app. Fortunately, they were the last group to be admitted inside the exhibit, and if you could just time everything right, then you could maybe pull this off.

Gingerly, you approached the one who was facing away from the group, her front camera facing her with the entrance of the exhibit behind her. You cleared your throat, "Hi, um, excuse me, could you please help me?"

The teenager looked at you and flashed a wide smile, "Sure what's up?"

You smiled in relief, this would be easy, "I think my car keys fell somewhere back there, and my phone died so I can't really find them. Will you please come with me? I could use your phone's flashlight."

"Oh sure absolutely! Hey guys," the teenager called her friends, "Let's go and help her find her car keys."

"Oh no no no that's not necessary," you said urgently as her other friends grinned kindly at you, "I really just need one person. You guys stay here and hold your position in the line. We will be back in a few minutes."

"Are you sure?"' inquired another girl from the group.

"Yes yes," you smiled back in a reassuring manner.

The teenager who came with you - Ashley - looked at the grass and sidewalk at your request. If you hadn't want to enter the haunted house so much, then you would have considered sparing poor Ashley's life. Meh, you thought as you slowly crept up behind her, life wasn't always fair.

"Hey Ashley, please look under this car. I think it might have gone underneath it," you requested with a sincere expression.

She nodded as she got on all her fours, "It's not here."

"Try inhaling a big whiff of air. The keychain has a strawberry scented air freshener on it. Maybe you could smell it?" you suggested, knowing full well that the cyanide sprinkled under the car by you would instantly kill Ashley.

Your plan worked almost too well. As she painfully writhed on the floor gasping for air, you took her smartphone, hid her hideous rhinestone phone cover in your pocket and headed towards the exhibit.

Ashley's friends were waiting for her at the entrance when you reached. You told them that she was on a call with someone and would join them soon. While they still waited for her, you showed the guard the e-pass on Ashley's phone and entered the haunted house.

You were thrilled at seeing your most favorite characters almost alive in front of you! The animated wax statues bore close resemblance to their movie counterparts. Whether it was the Ghostface from Scream, the creepy Annabelle doll, the weird guy in the hockey mask, the Nun, Pennywise the Clown or the long-haired lady from The Ring, they all looked truly horrifying and you were loving it!

As you ventured further, you were surprised to see Chris Evans' character Mr Freezy or Robert Pronge. The movie wasn't exactly popular, but you figured they had maybe included this character now that Evans was all the rage thanks to the uptight stick-in-the-ass Captain America character.

Mr Freezy was standing besides his ice-cream truck, inviting you to enter it in repetitive robotic movements. His face with his signature long hair and glasses smiled at you vacantly as you looked on.

You vaguely remembered watching this movie, hell, you had even copied the cyanide idea from Mr Freezy himself! Just when you squinted your eyes, hoping to remember more parts from the movie, you heard noises behind you.

"She came inside, Officer," said a voice that sounded like one of the girls from the group. Shit! They must have discovered Ashley! you panicked as you looked for a way out. The door ahead of you had been mechanically locked shut, and the voices behind you were growing louder by the minute. The bright lights flickered on and the animations of the objects around you completely stopped.

Except for Mr Freezy.

His movements increasingly sped up and his eyes grew wider. At first, you thought it might be a malfunction, but you were shocked when he whispered your name, "Enter the truck to escape. NOW!"

As if on auto-pilot, you opened the door and hurriedly stepped in. The dry ice engulfed you, the voices lessening in volume behind you. A moment later, the entire truck shook violently, causing you to blindly hold on to the sides and yelp in surprise.

Suddenly, someone pressed the brakes and you lurched forward. The dry ice cleared inside the van as you stumbled towards the driver's seat. You heard someone close the door and walk towards the back of the truck. A moment later, the backdoors of the van were opened by none other than Mr Freezy himself.

Your jaw dropped to the floor and he mirrored your expression, the pair of you taking in each other's appearances.

Your modern 21st century clothes were completely out of place in the 1960s America that was home to Robert Pronge. His blue eyes from behind his long curtain of hair seized you up as he recovered from shock.

"Who the fuck are you and what the hell are you doing in my van?" he broke the foreboding silence.

You cocked your head to the side, your brain unable to comprehend the reality of the situation. Did you just appear on a movie set? What sort of time-space travel bullshit was this?

"ANSWER ME YOU CUNT," Mr Freezy's voice was loud enough to break you from your reverie, but the strong, tall, well-built man hardly intimidated you.

Instead of cowering as he expected you to, you raised your eyebrow, "So you are one of those method actors huh? Sorry I appeared on your set unannounced Mr Captain Evans," you said with spite as you walked towards him and crouched down to be at his eye level, "I will be on my fucking way now."

"Mr Capta-what? Who the fuck sent you? How did you come inside my van when I locked it? You weren't in there when I left Atlantic Avenue. What the fuc-"

You punched him in the face before he could finish his sentence. Though you liked his deep, smooth voice, his incessant cursing and hostility had started to get under your skin.

As he stumbled backwards from the force of your punch, you looked around him and noticed the absolute absence of large lights, cameras, large crew and any kind of set whatsoever.

You jumped from the van and looked at Chris Evans again as you landed on your feet. He looked exactly like his character in the movie. But something didn't feel right. That's when you heard the small click of his revolver.

Before he could aim it at you, you hit his right palm that held the firearm and twisted it, effectively breaking it in the process. He screamed in pain and tried to move away from you, but you weren't done yet.

Pulling him towards you, your knee brutally met with his pelvis and you punched the air out from his stomach. He doubled down with pain, his eyes watering as he tried to regain balance. But one swift blow to the back of his head turned his world dark.

You were panting when Mr Freezy finally lost consciousness and collapsed on the ground. You looked around again. The streets were isolated and there were barely any houses lined on the sidewalk.

You felt around your pockets for your belongings, but found them empty. You waited around for a few minutes, hoping to get some sense of clarity for your situation as Mr Freezy drooled on the street.

Finally, you resigned and hauled his heavy ass back into the van in the passenger's seat. Desperate for some sort of explanation, you put your hands inside his pants' pockets. You were rewarded with his wallet, some keys and a bunched up paper with an address roughly scribbled on it.

The year on the license was 1963 and the city stated was Jersey City of New Jersey.

Just as you secured his unconscious body with the seatbelt, you took a close look at his face. Despite the creepy hair, he did look handsome. Afterall, it was Chris Evans! Or some sort of alternate-universe-reincarnation-asshole version of his. His soft plump lips looked a bit dirty, so you looked down at his crotch. The pants had riddled up when you had placed him on his seat, giving you a clear outline of his dick.

And my was it a sight!

His thick member was struggling against the uncomfortable position of the pants. The rotund rod was anything but flaccid. You squeezed and rubbed your palm over the semi-hard member, cherishing the disgruntled noises that escaped his lips.

After about 5 minutes, you decided to drive his van back towards the line of houses. You guessed you were at the outskirts of the city and right now, you needed to find how to blend in with the people.

Soon enough, you were deep within the city and found a dress shop. All the signs on the shops which you passed seemed to fit the 1960s, thus leaving no doubt that you had actually time traveled into the past, that too in a completely different timeline.

You considered breaking into the shop and stealing a few clothes, but then decided against it. You were absolutely against stealing. It was probably the only crime you couldn't excuse.

The only time you hadn't paid for your stuff was when you wanted to buy a yellow dress. The lady shopkeeper with kind eyes had told you that the colour purple suited you better than yellow, and insisted that you buy the same. Later that night, you had calmly walked over the old woman's dead body and grabbed the yellow dress that you had loved.

You looked at the dresses in the shop window and decided to come back tomorrow. That's when you noticed the sign "WHITES ONLY".

You went back to the van and grabbed the revolver. Three suppressed shots from the silenced gun destroyed the sign, the wreckage of which witnessed you breaking into the shop and literally stealing everything that was on the premises.

Two. There were two crimes you wouldn't excuse.

You turned the van around and headed back towards the outskirts of the city. It was almost morning by the time you reached the address that you had found scribbled in Mr Freezy's pocket. It seemed to be some kind of a cold storage facility in a dilapidated building.

As you managed to make your way to the second floor with his limp, but still heavy, body, you remembered seeing a similar storage facility in the movie where Mr Freezy stored the dead bodies of his victims.

Your suspicions were proven correct when you picked the lock and entered the room. You found the tub where he cut the bodies of his victims and the chains he used to tie their bodies with.

As you ventured further, you found the dead body of the girl who had been force-fed pufferfish. That you remembered well, because you had tried to buy one but couldn't get your hands on the costly bugger fish.

Looking around, your eyes fell on the chains again and an idea popped into your head.

🎃

Robert Pronge woke up to find himself naked, spread eagle on his table, hands and legs wide apart, tied to the table with secured chains. The worst part? Large chunks of ice were wrapped around his palms and feet, rendering them numb. Waves of painful, frostbiting cold passed through his body. Hardly any sounds escaped his gagged mouth as he feebly tried to recollect what had happened last night.

He vaguely remembered you, a strangely dressed woman who had suddenly appeared in his van and knocked him unconscious.

He tried to look around him, a painful but necessary moment, and he realised he was in his own facility.

After what seemed like a few hours, he heard the door open and the clickety-clack of a woman's heels came near him.

Still shuddering with cold, he looked at you with his hooded eyes, the blue irises filled with hatred.

You chuckled at him. This was going to be fun. "Good morning Robert. Or should I call you Mr Freezy? Do you have a preference?" you cheerfully asked him as he kept staring at you.

You were wearing a yellow dress with white polka-dots, and a small artificial bouffant completed your look. Basically, you were dressed like any other cunt in 1963.

"Oh silly me," you scoffed at yourself, "I forgot about the gag."

A slew of profanities escaped his plump lips as you removed the gag, "You fucking whore! Untie me right now you bitch. Who the fuck do you-aaarrgghhh!" He shut up mid-rant when you slapped his cold naked dick.

"I will not tolerate any bad language. Let's take it from the top, shall we?" you reprimanded him and gave him your name.

He tried to spit at you but failed, his body dehydrated with the cold.

"You have no idea who you have messed with bitch. When my friends find out-"

"Friends?" you asked him, feigning surprise, "I thought you worked alone. Or has Mr Freezy gone all softy for The Iceman?"

Watching Robert gulp in anticipation gave you immense satisfaction. You went away from him, the dull clang of the metal chains filled the air as you heaved and huffed. Finally, he heard you crank the lever and the metal rattled as something huge was hung upside down on the metal hook.

Richard's dull, muted musk reached his nostrils before his dead body came into view. His feet were secured on the hook while his lifeless eyes stared into nothingness. His arms waved around a bit before the metal conveyor belt was brought to a stop.

"See? Richard found you," you claimed excitedly as Richard Kuklinski or The Iceman's body slowly turned above Mr Freezy.

Robert went still. Too still. A different chill had now consumed his body, his heart. He recognised the ugly emotion. He was scared. Terrified. It had been a long time since he had felt this horrible emotion but now, he lay motionless consumed by it.

His desperation grew when he heard you hum lightly, "You don't own me, I am just not one of your many toys". He had to get away from this place, from you.

As soon as he saw you disappear inside the freezer storage, he started struggling against his bonds once again. But the chains did anything but budge. "Now now, that is no way to thank me for making sure you meet your friend,* you scolded him, returning with a heavy block of ice.

"Let me tell you-UGH," you irritably shoved aside Richard's limp body as you came to stand beside Mr Freezy's horizontal torso. "Let me tell you how this is going to work. I want the names and addresses of those dusty, old, poor excuses for flour sacks 'Mafia Bosses' who apparently rule this city," you emphasized with air quotes.

Mr Freezy regarded you carefully. He knew by now that you were dangerous, but even he had his doubts that you would be able to destroy the mafia families in New Jersey. "Rot in hell bitch," he managed to spit weakly.

You rolled your eyes, "Men. Why do they always have to be difficult?" you muttered as you placed the heavy block of ice on his chiseled abs, and he immediately started writhing with the cold. "What did I tell you about your language? Tut-tut, looks like someone needs to be taught a lesson."

And with that, you made your right hand travel down his stomach and towards his thick naked member. Upon the contact, Mr Freezy tried to still his body, but the unbearably cold chunk currently resting on top of him made it impossible for him to stop moving.

You played with the hair surrounding his trunk, twisting and pulling almost teasingly, your eyes searching for his, but unfortunately, Richard's body hung between the two of you, blocking the view. So Mr Freezy couldn't see you and you couldn't see him. But who said there was romance in maintaining eye contact?

You gently wrapped your fingers around his length, making him gasp. "Someone likes this huh?" you cooed as you sped up your gestures, his length soon hardening under your touch.

"St-stop," his command was almost a moan.

You laughed at him, at his pathetic state and at his measly little request, "I don't think you want me to," you teased him as his member was almost erect now. You increased the speed of your strokes, your hands applying more pressure to thick rod that was now bulging with veins.

His hips and thighs tightened, indicating that he was close to the finishing line. But you were not done with him. Not yet.

You completely stopped your ministrations and lifted your hand. A small groan escaped his mouth before Mr Freezy caught himself.

"N-now you lis-listen to me you bit-AARRGGHH" he tried to speak between his pants, but shrieked when you roughly slammed an ice cube against his penis.

"What did I tell you about the swearing?" you chided him as you pressed the ice cube further to his length and balls.

Mr Freezy started fighting his bonds again, and frankly speaking, his refusal to accept his fate had started to get on your nerves in a bad way. You decided to keep the chunk of ice between his legs and grab some early lunch.

You returned in about 2 hours, just to find him in the same position as you had left him. The only difference was that all the ice had now melted. Oh, and there were huge, deep, red cuts on his wrists and ankles, probably due to all the fidgeting.

He was still slightly shivering though. Eh, it wasn't your problem anyway.

"Let's try again shall we?" you asked him as you got a fresh chunk of ice from the freezer. Richard's body was still hanging exactly where you had left it when you reached for Mr Freezy's lollipop again.

He tried to shake his hips, his length dancing along with his movements, as if to discourage you. "No," he muttered through gritted teeth, "No. Stay where you are. Don't you dare don't you fucking da-"

He shut up as soon as you started stroking him again. "We need to do something about your swearing Mr Freezy. Is that the language you use when you talk to kids? Huh? Looks like I will have to teach you some manners."

He soon started feeling the knot in his stomach, ready to unwind at any second, but you stopped. Completely. Again.

Even though he was mentally prepared for the cold hard ice to be rubbed against his genitals, his body wasn't.

This continued for 4 times more before he gave up. As you tried reaching for him for the sixth time, he almost pleaded with you, "I will give you their names, addresses, fucking every detail you would want about the mob bosses. Just let me go."

You laughed at his admission. He nearly jumped out of his skin as your sickeningly sweet laughter filled the isolated room. "Do you really think it's about that now?" you asked him, am incredulous expression on your face, "Ooooh Mr Freezy. I can get that information from anyone! Sure it would be convenient if I got it from you. But that's not what all this is about."

"Wh-why?" he asked, as if he already knew the answer and was terrified by it.

"Because I like breaking strong men," you replied with a pleasant, innocent grin. "Now, let's get back to work. Hhmm?"

"No no wait. I can. No. I will give you whatever you want. You want me to kill for you? I will-"

"Do you think I need a handy boy?" you interrupted him. "You want to give me something? Fine. Then stop swearing!"

He nodded eagerly, "Done. Not a single bad word. I will stay quiet. I promise. Just let me go."

You regarded him carefully, "No," you shook your head, "I don't think you have learned your lesson yet," you claimed decisively as you headed towards his legs.

With what bare minimum strength that was left in him, he shook his body again, hoping to get away from you. "Stop touching me! Stop!"

"It's funny that your mouth says stop," you grabbed his member again, "but your dick says the complete opposite." You bent down to kick a wet stripe from his balls to the tip of his mushroom, giving it a gentle suck as you reached the tip.

Mr Freezy's breath hitched in his throat. While he felt filthy and dirty everytime you touched him, the organ between his legs was aching for your attention. A tear escaped his eye as he realised this was probably the end of his life, that he might never see his son again.

As you set to work on him again, the part of his mind which had refused to accept his fate, slowly started succumbing to your sinful torture. His rebellious spirit was only left with one thought now. To be afraid. Very afraid. Of you.

__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__

Permanent tag: @donutloverxo @notyourtypicalrose @just-one-ordinary-fangirl

Chris Evans and his characters taglist: @onetwo3000 @bluemusickid @badbo1-evans (unable to tag you ☹️)

Taglist open! Just comment, send an ask or message!

[jslittlebirdie]

Hello love ♡

How are you? It feels like a eternity since we've talked for the last time! I miss you ♡

I'm, once again, terrible sorry that I'm answering you so late! Oh my, there's so much going on recently that I'm just constantly tired/exhausted, and I've such a persistently guilty conscience that I'm not able to answer all the incredible people and their equally touching messages! In addition, my Tumblr kept crashing since Thursday! As soon as I started to write a message, END, I managed to scroll down four posts on my dash, END. That was so incredible frustrating!

And to answer your questions, my first aid course was sadly only one-time and unfortunately I don't really have the time and money to take part in another or an extended one

My side effects were kind of weird, as I actually only had them that one night! Otherwise there was nothing at all! So, no need to worry, but thank you ♡

And I actually find it incredibly difficult to take breaks or to rest. I don't know, I kinda only feel successful when I'm exhausted? The best feeling is when I feel light-headed, while my body tingles slightly, in the evening; then I know that I've done even slightly enough that day. Does that make sense? I know that this isn't healthy, but it's also difficult to convince my head and body of it... I almost always don't even notice that I'm crossing this line and just keep going and then forget to stop or take a break at all (even if it's after four energy drinks) I really can't recommend this mindset!

However, two of far too many problems regarding my apprenticeship have been resolved! Not enough so that I don't panic and fear it anymore, but so that I'm a tiny little bit calmer.

Still, I wouldn't mind a little care, company, encouragement, and hugs from my F/O's! ♡

I'm sending you soooooo much love and positivity and, of course, a big, thight, comforting hug full of affection and love ♡

Luna, my dear!!🌸💖

Omg yes, it really felt like an eternity😭😭 I miss you and talking to you so much, my love! I was thinking about sending you a message this morning, but I wasn't sure if I might overwhelm or bother you with it. So I am now so incredibly happy to hear from you again!!!🥺🥺🥺

Oh, thank you so much for asking. I'm actually doing quite well, I guess. Yesterday was pretty exhausting to say the least, but I'm feeling better today, thankfully. I'm spending most of my time at my desk again, studying for my next exam😑 But I think this time it won't be as bad as the last one (at least I hope so), because this exam is a philosophy exam (and it's in my native language, which makes things a bit easier too😅). As always, I'm trying my best🙃

Darling, there is absolutely no need to apologize❤️ I can totally understand that. As you may have noticed, I've been taking a little longer to respond lately too. And for me, Tumblr has been a little weird the last few days as well - especially the app on my smartphone😑 But I think that's because of my internet provider. It really sucks, there are always some sort of problems... I just hope that the problems with your devices have been resolved in the meantime. I would be so very sad if you wouldn't be able to log in here😭

I'm so sorry to hear that your course only had had one session😔 I can imagine how unsatisfying and frustrating that must be to end up learning nothing or only very little new things. I'm sure you'll get an opportunity to take another course at some point in the future. I'm rooting for you, my dear!💖💖

I still worry about you, darling! Please, please take good care of yourself! As best you can. I know how easy it is to fall into this bad habit. It's the same for me sometimes. Then I think I haven't done enough, which makes me feel really bad, tense and nervous😩😖 But I say this with all my love, it's okay to take breaks, to take time for yourself. Our bodies and minds need to take some rest💖

Gosh, my heart aches so badly for you, Luna😔 I would give anything to be able to ease your fears and worries. You don't deserve that at all. I'm glad that at least two of the problems have been resolved and you are feeling a little better. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that solutions will be found for the other problems as well❤️ And please don't forget, if you want to talk or vent about anything, I'm always here for you, angel. You're not alone. I love you so very much💗💗

You know what, I just told Jervis and Billy to hug you real tight and take care of you to make sure you get enough sleep and rest. Gosh, they love you so so much and unconditionally. And so do I. Always❤️❤️

I wish you the best evening ever!! That you spend lots of time with all of your F/Os. I'm sending you all my love back. And of course also from me a tight, warm (or maybe better not warm, if the weather is still so hot with you😅), loving hug. I'm thinking of you, my love💜💜

[askaceattorney]

Oh, snap!!

Well, you’ll never believe this.  Mod Edgeworth recently brought something to my attention -- apparently, some of your letters have been invisible to us unless we use our mobile devices.  Because of this, a number of letters (dating back to February 2021) have gone unanswered until now, so if you happened to send a letter that was within the rules but still hasn’t gotten a response, well...that’s why.

The only fair thing for us to do now is interrupt the queue until we’ve made it through these skipped letters.  A thousand “sorry”s to everyone whose letters we skipped (and to everyone whose letters we now have to put off).  I mostly blame Tumblr for this, but I also bear some blame for waiting so long to get a smartphone.  Sorry for that, too.

Good thing we figured it out when we did, at least.  Enjoy some mobile letters, everyone!

Mod Edgeworth: 

NAOOOOOOOOGH!!

So yes, it turns out Tumblr decided to pull an unforgivable prank on us. Mod Justice did try to tell us about this issue, but neither of us thought it was THIS bad. It wasn’t until Mod Justice sent an Anonymous letter of his own and sent it to us that I began looking into it, because I have been cursed with perfectly long term memory of when he brought it up the first time.

THANKS TUMBLR! HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!

Luckily, I was able to gather all the unanswered anonymous mod letters. Though, from this point on, we will only be answering anonymous letters until we catch up. We will notify you when we have completely caught up. This will not include Holiday letters. We sincerely apologize for this. 

This letter alone will include all of the Mod Letters I’ve compiled that were month’s worth. If I didn’t get your letter, I sincerely apologize. This will also mean that the letters from here on out will look slightly different, since we are having to use our mobile devices and log onto the Tumblr App. On the plus side, you will no longer worry about hiding your emails or identity, since the mobile devices hides them well.

I’ll let Mod Justice have a say, since he was technically the whistleblower. I sincerely apologize for not looking into this earlier when you first came onboard.

Mod Justice:

BY THE HOLY MOTHER...

I knew there were lots of unanswered letters, but HOW DID THEY GET ALL THE WAY BACK FROM FEBRUARY?!

(I should have kept my mouth shut...)

No, no, NO. I’m NOT going to be like that. That’s just SELFISH and RUDE to all the fans who posted the letters in the first place.

Here are our responses to the following mod letters:

(Referenced Letter)

Dear dawsongfg,

Mod Justice: Please do. It will be better for everyone’s mental health, possibly including yours.

(Seriously, consider yourself lucky I’m this generous. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have given the referenced letter a link here. You can repay me by following through on your promise.)

Dear Gumshoe “Letty” Fan,

Mod Edgeworth: 

You forgot to include “give all your possessions to your Gumshoe.”

Co-Mod: Just tell me where I can find those things, and it’s a done deal, pal.

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: You figured it out.  Congratulations.

Mod Edgeworth: How would I know? I submit letters by phone that doesn’t require any keyboard. 

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Justice: I’m sorry, but firstly, “Change is bad“?! Really?!

You really need to re-evaluate your life if you’re going to have THAT kind of attitude.

And to answer your question: no, those letters are from the “Stone Age” of this exact blog.

Dear Dawsongfg,

Mod Edgeworth: Mod Paups left.

Co-Mod: Yep.  Refer to this post (the 5th letter from the top) for the specifics.

Mod Kristoph: Even if I’m not doing much for now, I’m still on board the team.

Dear Dawsongfg,

Mod Edgeworth: I LOVE poetry. I used to be a member of Starlight Cafe and submitted some poetry. I do write some from time to time.

Mod Justice: Heh, songs count, right?

Sarcasm aside, yeah, I can see how poetry can be appealing. I mean, so many of Shakespeare’s plays have it!

Co-Mod: Well, I did...  Then I met “her.”

In all seriousness, I do enjoy a good poem.  I grew up reading Shel Silverstein’s poems, and still find myself remembering them every now and then.

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: Well, heh...  Now you know.  *scratches back of head and grins*

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: 

Don’t worry about it, though I won’t promise any of them won’t get deleted, if there’s a ton of letters to the same character or the same letter to tons of different characters. If they’re different letters to different characters, we will likely answer all of them, especially if they’re anonymous.

Dear Computer,

Mod Edgeworth:

Mod Justice: Uhhhhh...

What in the Khura’inese Hells did I just read?

Co-Mod: 

Dear Dawsongfg,

Mod Edgeworth: It’s been good. Actually, getting letters from mobile isn’t as hard as I thought.

Co-Mod: Well, let me put it this way...

On the plus side, I’m alive, healthy, and somehow keeping up with the balancing act known as adult life, so things could definitely be worse.  I hope the same can be said for you.

Dear Car,

Co-Mod: Cars are writing letters now?  Man, I feel old...

Mod Edgeworth: Unfortunately, I cannot drive. Yes, I’m 29 and cannot drive. Sad life I live in.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Dawsongfg,

Co-Mod: Glad somebody got it!  Their first names are anagrams of two other Shakespearean characters, in case you didn’t catch that.

Mod Justice: Khura-PUN-nese strikes again! 🤣

Dear Dawsongfg,

Co-Mod: Given that we’re dealing with this issue now...I’d have to say yes.

Mod Edgeworth: 

I don’t even know what Tumblr is doing anymore.

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: Well, if you tag anonymous please or write these letters, while logged off, then it shall be done. Though, since this is a mobile message, I doubt your anonymity will be as big of an issue compared to when it was on desktop. It doesn’t show your email address.

Mod Justice: They already are. 😑

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: I never got into it, unfortunately.  Even an avid Ace Attorney fan like me can only devote so much time to every piece of fan-made content, but I’d love to see if it’s as interesting as it sounds sometime.

Mod Justice: If it’s basically the Attorney Online chatroom upgraded, then no. It leans too much into the “roleplay” aspect of things, and I prefer to stay away from that sort of thing. However, if it’s NOT the chatroom, I am curious as to what it is.

I DO know what AO3 is. Look it up for yourself if you wish to find out what it is.

Mod Edgeworth: I’ve been to the roleplaying Ace Attorney Online, but that’s it. It was fun.

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: We’ll figure it out when we cross that bridge, hm?

Mod Justice: I will admit some of those are kinda funny... I might want to cherrypick a few to keep later, actually.

Dear Dawsongfg,

Mod Edgeworth: Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2. Though, I’ve yet to play The Great Ace Attorney games, so that may change. 

I love AA6 too, but AAI2 was consistent with its story and no character felt underwhelmed or left out. Even the most annoying characters there fit there naturally with motivations that made sense. Luckily, you can find the English patched DS cartridge that will play on a DS or DS Lite on sale, but if not, you can also download the English patch. 

Mod Justice: AA6. Not even a question. However, I did watch several playthroughs of AAI2, and I gotta say...

CAPCOM, WHY IS THIS MASTERPIECE NOT OFFICIALLY LOCALIZED YET?!

Co-Mod: I’m with Mod Justice on this one.  I didn’t expect things to get much better after Dual Destinies, but Spirit of Justice proved it could be done.  The music, animations, story development, character dialogue, and the new Divination Seance mechanic were all incredibly done, and they even capped it off with a case that reunited the original duo and their original adversary.

Being able to create something so enjoyable for both the long-time fans and the newcomers takes some incredible talent, to say the least, and if you ask me, it paid off beautifully.

Dear Faith,

Mod Justice: Thank you so much, kind poster! That really means a lot to me.

And about the “Troll Submissions”: Yeah... Hopefully, the person who’s been sending them will follow through on his promise to stop...

(Link in Letter)

Dear Dawsongfg,

Co-Mod: That’s fine, as long as you don’t expect the characters to act the same here as they do in that blog.  They’ve got their Apollo, we’ve got ours.

Dear Calisto Yew, 

Mod Edgeworth: 

Mod Justice:

Woman, get outta here. We don’t need ANOTHER villain takeover after the LAST one.

Co-Mod: Since when do you laugh like Bowser?

- The Mods

[lovemesomesurveys]

[-infatuatedgirl]

Hey, what’s your name? Stephanie.

How old were you when you got your first cell phone? Weren’t you just tingling with excitement? I was 16. I wouldn’t say that, but it was cool. I’m old, so it wasn’t a smartphone yet.

Do you ever read the results of the surveys you make? I don’t make surveys.

How many belts do you own? Zero.

If you had to live with one pair of shoes, what would they be? My Adidas.

Do you believe in love at first sight? No.

How about forevers? It happens.

What’s your comfort food? Lately, it’s actually been ice cream, which is weird cause I wasn’t ever a big ice cream person before.

What do you use your cell phone for, aside texting and calls? Ha, I hardly use it for those reasons. I use it for the apps more than anything.

Are there any picture frames in the room you are in? Yes.

Did you ever ride a limo? Yeah, several times. My dad used to work for a limo company when I was a kid, it was cool.

Do you use a lot of hair products? Not at all, just shampoo and detangler.

Creepiest movie ever? Hmm. Not sure which movie I’d give that title to.

Do you ever wonder what your life looks like to someone else’s eyes? Gah, I don’t want to know.

Have you ever walked into a crowded room and felt so alone? I do often feel alone even though I’m rarely completely by myself.

What’s your current status in facebook/myspace? I shared some random meme thing earlier. I like never post actual statuses anymore, I just share stuff now and then.

What was your dream job as a child? I wanted to be a teacher.

Is it still the same? No.

Did you ever stay up all night? Fun, right? As a kid? Yeah. Especially when my cousins slept over. We’d try to stay up with junk food and soda and watch movies, play games, etc and see who could stay up the latest. Ever took a Bzoinkoid? I don’t know what that is.

Do you like cracking your knuckles? Sometimes it just needs to be done.

What color’s your car? I don’t have a car, I don’t drive.

If you don’t have one, what color would you like it to be? I’m not sure.

Did you ever do something you promised yourself not to? Didn’t it feel good? I have and some of the things did and some I regretted.

What’s the ‘craziest’ color you dyed your hair? Red was my first bold color I did.

What’s your definition of fearless? Having no fear? ha.

Don’t you get a bit happy when you take an iPod shuffle survey and the song fits perfectly? I don’t like those type of surveys, actually.

Do you like paranormal stuff?(shows,movies,books,etc) Nah.

Do you believe in those? No.

What’s the weirdest compliment you ever received? Did you even take it as a compliment? “You’re pretty for having polio.” I’ll never forget some random woman coming up and saying that to me. Like what does that even mean? I don’t have polio and I don’t know why she assumed I did apart from the fact I’m in a wheelchair? Also, does that imply people with polio aren’t usually attractive according to them?

Do you have a favorite stuff toy? What’s it’s name? My shitload of stuffed animal giraffes. What’s the most exciting project you were given? Hmm.

Are you familiar with Polyvore? If so, do you have an account? No.

Did you accomplish your New Years Resolutions last year? I stopped making those several years ago.

What are you passionate about? Nothing. :/

Without passion we’d truly be dead. Fact or fiction? I haven’t felt passionate about something in a long time and it does feel like I’m really missing something. Like, I think you should have something  you’re passionate about, it’s fulfilling. 

Are you guilty of internet slang? I use the ones like, “omg”, “wtf”, and “lol”, but otherwise I’m very much about being grammatically correct.

Would you rather be hurt physically or emotionally? I would rather just not be hurt at all - how about that?! <<< Right, like wtf.

Were you ever truly and completely happy with yourself? No.

Is your life balanced right now? No.

Did you ever roll down a ramp or hill? Countless ramps as someone in a wheelchair.

If you can’t be with the one you love, will you be with the one who loves you? I don’t want to just settle.

What’s your favorite scent? I have a lot.

Are/were you forced to believe something you don’t? When I was a kid both sets of grandparents tried pushing their religious beliefs on me.

Are you very dependent on people? I’ve had to be very dependent the past couple months now due to health setbacks.                                                                                       

Do you let small things ruin your day? Ugh, I do let stuff like that get to me way too much and too easily these days. Like every little thing.

Do you over-analyze things? Yepppp.                                      

Did you ever wonder what life would be in a stranded island? It would be depressing and lonely. Also, probably terrifying. <<< Yeah, not something I’d want to experience that’s for sure.

Do you have a good sense of direction? Nooo. I’m the worst.

What’s your opinion on Kesha? I liked some of her songs.

Are you excited for what the future holds for you? I’m scared of what the future holds for me to be honest.

Are you more of a listener or a talker? I’m definitely more of a listener than a talker.

Indoorsy or outdorsy? Indoorsy for sure.

Name something that you think is overrated. Bacon and sushi. It seems like literally everyone loves both and I don’t get it. 

How about underrated? Hmm.

What’s one question you HATE being asked? Hmm.

Is it personal or it just bugs you? --

Do you own any comic books? Nope.

Or you’re more of an anime/manga person? I’m not into those either.

Do you have any weird phobias? If so, what? Ugh, I don’t even want to type the words but the fear of holes and clusters lsjlskfklsdjflkdsjfdlsk

Were you ever obsessed with something then realized how lame it really was? Twilight. :X

If you had a time machine would you visit the past or future? The past.

Or is the present too good for you? No, definitely not. What would you change in that time zone? In the past? I’d change some things that would make it so I wasn’t dealing with some of the health stuff I’m going through now. Some of it could have been so easily avoided and managed, but I was stubborn, irresponsible, and negligent.

What’s the title of the first survey you created? I’ve only made one survey, many years ago, and I don’t think I titled it.

What color is your iPod/mp3? I have a black iPod Touch, but it’s been stored away and unused since 2012. I use Spotify on my phone for music, which is gold.

Do you think you could live without music? I’ve hardly listened to music at all this year so far and I’m still alive.

Describe your favorite top. I love all my graphic tees.

Do you change your style frequently? No. Especially not now. I just live in leggings and graphic tees.

Are you a tshirt-and-jeans kind of person? No, I’m a leggings and graphic tees kind of person.

What’s the most traumatizing event that ever happened to you? The one that made me a paraplegic. 

Do you own a diary/journal? This is it.

Do you write there often? I definitely do.

Don’t you hate it when there’s nothing good showing on TV? I got into this routine the past few months and have my lineup of shows.

Insert your favorite smiley here: :) 

How many live concerts have you been to? Like 6 or 7.

Did you keep the tickets as a souvenir? Yeah.

Tinypic or Photobucket? Aw, the days of Tinypic and Photobucket. I’m sad because I have a shit ton of photos saved on Photobucket and I can’t access my account. D: Like, I’m talkin’ photos from Myspace days. 

Tumblr or Xanga? Well, it’s just Tumblr now... <<< I really do like Tumblr, but I also miss Xanga. The survey community was huge.

What do you do when you’re really nervous? Fidget, squirm, pick at my nails, bite/pick my lips, mess with my hair, twiddle with my hands, jump to worst case scenarios...

Do you have a bad habit you just can’t break? Picking at my lips, nails, and skin. :/

Would you say you’re down to earth? I think so.

What’s the first thing you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? I really try to avoid that as much as possible cause I hate what I see.

Do you find peace in being alone? I haven’t felt peace in a very long time.

Summer holds such wonderful things. Fact or fiction? Fiction. I could just skip right on by it to be honest.

Ah,summer (: What’s your favorite thing about it? The only thing I like is if I’m able to go to the beach. If I had a beach house with private beach access and didn’t feel miserable for months, then I wouldn’t mind summertime. 

Are you faint to the sight of blood? Just the mention of it makes me feel weak.

What’s something you’ve grown used to? I feel like this is how it’s always going to be... :/

What’s your favorite dessert? Lately, I’ve been really into ice cream. I was not a big ice cream person before, like until recently it had been a few years since I had any at all. Suddenly, I’m all about it. *shrug*

Do you like spicy food? I loved spicy food, but I can’t have it anymore. :(

Are you easily bored? I didn’t used to be. I think my boredom is actually the depression, though.

Do you wish for the same thing at 11:11? Or does it change depending on how things are going in your life? I don’t do that.

Do you even wish at 11:11? Nope.

[purplesurveys]

1157

survey by hxcsingingsk8r

Phone Scavenger Hunt

First off, what phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8.

And what provider do you use? It’s a local one you wouldn’t know about, called Globe.

How long have you had your current phone? I can’t remember if it would be 3 or 4 years this 2021. Either way, it’s definitely been a while and I’ve been itching to upgrade. It’s too early to make such a big purchase, though.

Do you have any cases for it? Describe them. I have a clear case that I bought last year. Before that, I had a pink Otterbox case that I managed to destroy even though Otterbox is normally known for its durability. I just have a very unique ability to wreck everything I’ve ever owned lol.

How old were you when you got your first cellphone? I was technically 6, but it was meant to be a present for my 7th birthday. We threw a birthday party a month in advance because my dad had to fly back abroad for work before my actual birthday, but we wanted him to be present at the celebration so we decided throwing a party early was the best route.

What about your first smartphone? [If the answer is different] It was an iPhone 5S.

How old are you now? Dunno what this has to do with the theme of the survey but I am now 22.

Okay, move onto the scavenger hunt part

What is your lock screen picture of? It’s of Kim Seon Ho at a restaurant, lmao.

Home screen? It’s one of the shots from a recent promotional photoshoot Hayley did for Good Dye Young.

How many pictures are thre currently on your phone? This question just made me so anxious hahaha. I have way too many photos; and upon checking, it turns out I currently have 6,266. My god do I need to clean up my camera roll this weekend.

How many videos? I have 227. I have no idea it’s gotten to be this many; I barely use my phone to take videos. I’ll go ahead and delete some of them right now, just to give my phone (and its storage) space to breathe.

What is your most recent picture of? It’s a work thing...I guess I’ll explain it so it can make more sense. So one of our clients has got this Lent campaign going on, and to spread word about it we’ve tapped a handful of food bloggers to try out the offers themselves and post about their experience on social media. Now that we’re in the middle of Holy Week they’ve gone ahead and uploaded their own posts, and I’m in charge of taking screenshots so I can show to the client that the execution had been successful.

And the most recent video? It’s a private vlog. Every Sunday, or at least every other Sunday I take a few minutes to sit down and do a weekly video thing where I talk about my ~mental~ and ~emotional~ status, and it’s basically a way to be in touch with myself and keep track of my progress. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually get to uploading them one day.

Do you have any albums? If so, of what? Yeah. I have one for Cooper, one for Kimi, and a bunch of tiny albums I’ve made where I compiled 4–5 photos of friends to post on their birthdays.

What pictures have you favorited? I have a lot of favorited photos. There’s no required category for me to label them as such.

Do you have any shared albums with friends or family or work? No. I’m not sure if I can do that, or how to do it if it is allowed.

Do you have any alarms set? For what time and for what occasions? I have a bunch of alarms but only because they’re archived into the Clock app and I just haven’t gotten around to deleting them. When I was still new at my work, I used to have alarms set for certain work tasks I have to take note of every week – but now that I’ve gotten into the groove of things, I don’t need the alarms to be reminded about them anymore.

Check your weather app, what is the weather and temperature where you live? It says ‘Mostly Clear’ and shows a temperature of 26ºC.

Do you have the YouTube app? Do you have your own channel? I do have the app and my own account, but I never use it to post videos. It’s nice to have my own channel so that my homepage can be tailored to my interests.

Do you have an email app? Which one do you use? I just have the default Email app that comes with iOS, but I never use it because it’s so wonky. It doesn’t refresh new emails and it takes forever when it does, and it doesn’t always show the full thread of email conversations. If I absolutely need to check my email for something I usually have to pull out my laptop.

Does it say that there is an update available on your phone or any apps? Yes, it reminds me everyday hahaha. I don’t update unless Apple has been planning a big revamp with new features, though; and if the updates are just to address bugs, I disregard the reminders.

Go into your contacts, how many contacts do you have total? It says I have 178.

Name all of your contacts under the letter M: Feels a tad bit invasive, so I’ll just name five people I have under M: Lui, Kim, Patrice, Danika, and Andi.

Name all of your contacts under the letter U: I don’t have anyone under U.

Do you have any contacts that are businesses rather than people? Which ones? No, I don’t really use text to contact businesses. If I wanted to inquire or order from one, I usually head to their social media page.

Go into your notes, how many notes do you have saved? This is another one I have a hoarding problem with lol. My phone says I currently have 561 notes, though I’m fairly certain the biggest chunk of it comes from minutes I’ve taken down from work meetings. It was a whole lot less when I was still in school.

What kinds of things do you save in your notes? Like I said, I use Notes for taking down minutes from meetings. There are also a few surveys on there, from times I didn’t have internet and couldn’t post them on here.

Do you have any voice memos saved? What of? Yep. Some of them were recordings I had to do for journalism classes I was assigned to do voiceovers; some are interviews, also from my journ class; and the rest are of me rambling.

Do you ever use the calculator app? Pretty frequently for work.

Do you ever use the Maps app? Not really. If I needed directions, I would check out Waze for that.

Do you have any health/fitness apps? Which ones? I still have the Nike Training app from the very brief time I wanted to start working out earlier this year.

Do you have the Instacart app? The what now? I’ve never even heard of that.

What about a delivery service like Postmates, Uber Eats, Grubhub, Doordash? I have the McDelivery app for McDonald’s, but I also have other general delivery apps like Grab, Lalamove, and Transportify.

Do you have something like Venmo, Cashapp, or Paypal? I have the Paypal app but I never use it. I also have a couple of e-wallet apps just in case I’d have to use them as a payment method, since some businesses  I purchase from prefer certain ones. Ultimately, though, I use Grab’s mobile wallet the most often.

Do you use Bitmoji? I think I did before? I never used it all that regularly though. Didn’t see the point.

What other keyboards do you use besides English? Any? Filipino, Korean, and Emoji.

Which social media network apps do you have? Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr, TikTok, and Snapchat. So I guess I have all the main ones?

If you have Instagram, what is your handle and how many followers? I have a very private one I only use for work. I didn’t want it to have any followers but at present there’s Angela (because she asked to follow it this week) and Bea (idk why).

What do you typically post on the various social media platforms? The only ones I regularly post on are Twitter and Facebook, and on either I share life updates (if there are any) and memes; though on Facebook I have to watch out what kind of memes I share and make sure they aren’t too offensive because I’m friends with relatives, workmates, and media on there lmao. But on Twitter, I basically have no filter.

Do you make TikTok videos? I don’t make any myself, but I do enjoy going through the app.

Do you only add people you know on Facebook? Yes, for the most part. I’ve taken to adding people as long as they’re from UP or my high school even though I’ve never met them as well, but if I sense that they only added me to try and sell me insurance OR try to get me into MLM, then it’s an instant unfriend for me.

Do you have an app that tracks Instagram followers? No, because I don’t need to track my Instagram followers. I’m off the radar as off the radar gets.

Do you have a Snapchat? Yeah, it’s still on my phone just because but I literally never touch it anymore.

Do you ever take selfies with filters? What app's filters do you use? Eh, just before. I don’t really take selfies anymore, period.

Do you use any apps like Depop or Poshmark or Etsy? No. Out of these three I’ve only ever heard of Etsy, too.

What messengers do you use to talk to people? Any besides just texting? I have Messenger to stay in touch with family and friends; Whatsapp and Viber for work; and Telegram just in case my friends want to play games.

Do you have any photo editing apps? Which ones? I have this app called Foodie that has some pretty filters. Otherwise, since I’m not on Instagram anyway I’m never on the lookout for photo editing apps; no one ever filters their photos on Facebook and Twitter lol.

Do you have any games? Which ones? I do have a ton of games on my phone. I never play any of them, but I keep them just in case I get bored enough to start revisiting them. I have word games, drinking games, games similar to Heads Up! where one person will have to guess the word on the screen while the phone is on their forehead, and gimmicky games like 1010! and Candy Crush haha.

Do you have any rideshare apps like Lyft or Uber? I have Grab, which is a rideshare, parcel delivery, food delivery, and online grocery app all in one.

Now go to the actual phone app, whose phone numbers are saved as favorites? I don’t tag any of my contacts as favorites.

Who was your most recent outgoing call to? I can’t recognize the number, so it was probably a Transportify driver that I called to give him directions to my house.

Who was your most recent incoming call from? I also can’t recognize the number, but this time he was most likely a Grab driver.

Who was your most recent missed call from? Again, can’t recognize the number HAHAA

Why did you miss that call? On purpose? Were you sleeping? Busy? My phone is on silent 24/7, so I must have missed it while I was working.

Who is your most recent voicemail from and what's it regarding? We don’t have voicemail in the Philippines.

What was the last thing you Googled or searched on your phone? Candle tunneling and how to fix it.

What music app do you use? Apple Music? Spotify? Something else? I use Spotify, but I also availed of a 3-month trial on Apple Music earlier this year just because. I think it’s supposed to end soon but I have no plans to shift.

What playlists have you made on there? I have playlists called, “robyn discovers kpop,” “winding down,” “angst,” “not my loss,” and my personal favorite, “paramore but fuck you.”

Lastly, what is the most recent song/album you've added to your collection? What Type of X - Jessi.

[ms-demeanor]

Is there a way to make smartphones *not* horrible? Or is this just another thing in the “everything I like and that helps me live is evil, permanently” category?

Uhhhhhhhhhh. Okay. FIRST I wanna say please look at this android pocket computer with a full qwerty keyboard that you can use as a cellphone and install Linux on because it is giving me an erection:

That’s so fucking sexy. I love that. That makes me want to spend a large amount of money on a piece of technology. I haven’t felt like this since I got my first Sidekick. (Things were kind of briefly amazing when we had phones that fit the niche between “flip phone” and “smart phone” with weird little carrier cloud networks and packet radio data service)

But. Okay.

So first I want you to really think about how much you use your phone as a phone. Like with the talk function and all.

Think about how much you use texting.

THOSE TWO THINGS, those things that require the use of a phone number, are the only things that make a phone different than a tablet.

So I’ll ask you: what do you actually use your phone for?

Me, I am a weirdo. My phone is primarily used for the browser.

What I like about using Firefox as my primary phone app is that I’ve got a lot more control over what the app is collecting/observing/tracking than I do with, say, the tumblr app. Also I have an adblocker on my FF for Android so I can browse in peace and not get too perplexed by weird tumblr noodle ads or whatever.

Also log in to different sites as different users, run a VPN, use an anonymizer, or just straight-up decide to use Tor instead.

(and I can log into my email without an app, which sometimes I want to do because “reasons” where “reasons” is “I’m already a massive fucking data mine for you, google, I shouldn’t have to see ads in my fucking inbox”)

If you find that you mostly use your phone for things that could be done in a browser then you’d probably be in super good shape to attempt to use some variety of linux tablet (Good luck because they kind of aren’t really a thing but dear LORD do I have a techboner for that gemini phone/tablet thing) or just using a tablet that isn’t tied to GPS and cell service towers. A wifi tablet with no SIM is better than a smartphone if you’re concerned about security shit, from there using the browser on your tablet and using services that don’t track your data is another good step.

Do all of that and then get a flip phone for calls and texts; try not to take your flip phone everywhere because basically it’s a location tracker with a unique ten digit serial number that we’ve all volunteered to carry 24/7 and every time I sit down and really start thinking about that I want to go lie down in a faraday cage for a while and cry.

*IDEALLY* you’d just use a tablet and use Signal instead of your phone’s voice or message function. And you’d just use available internet; how often do you *really* get messages or calls when you’re someplace that doesn’t have internet?

*REALISTICALLY* yeah okay phones are how people have access to 4G and can communicate if there isn’t wifi available.

If most of the things you do on your phone are apps, well. Run android, install antivirus, get a vpn, do things through Firefox for Android as much as possible, disable apps you don’t use, and seriously reconsider which apps you want to use (for instance don’t install facebook or facebook messenger on your phone)

I don’t know - this is kind of complicated advice because there are lots of types of tech users and lots of levels of paranoia and I don’t know where you’re at.

Here is some blanket advice that I feel comfortable giving to everyone:

Don’t install Facebook products on your devices. Yes, that includes Instagram and yes, I should delete my Instagram.

Avoid using Google as much as you can - if you’re on android I know you’re kind of screwed, but let’s be real, you don’t need to use the youtube app on your phone. Disable what you can’t uninstall.

Don’t deal with Amazon except where you have to. Don’t buy from Amazon if you can get the product elsewhere, don’t shop on Amazon through anything other than the website (No. Amazon. App. Take if off your phone.) Don’t get Amazon smart devices, don’t get Echo Earbuds (what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck why is that even a thing)

Practice leaving your phone someplace that you aren’t. Try to get into the habit of being out of communication. I know there are people for whom this is impossible - whether because of illness or work or whatever, I get that there are some people who need to be in arm’s reach of a phone. But if you *can* be away from your phone you really, really should, at least a couple days a week.

Look, your phone isn’t evil!bad!, you’re not evil!bad! for needing to use your phone. But it is extremely shitty that privacy rights and civil liberties haven’t kept up with technology and I think we need to be loud and angry about it.

With that in mind, please consider supporting the Electronic Frontier Foundation.

And if you can’t do that then PLEASE consider using open source software (like GIMP, LibreOffice, or Mozilla) instead of relying on closed-source software (like Adobe, Microsoft, or Google).

[wedgestratos]

Sailfish OS: One Day

Today’s gonna be a weird and long post, so let’s start slow and give you the choice.

We’ve had, for years, seen the constant back and forth between Google and Apple on their respective phone operating systems. Android, which has dominated the market on basically any device you can pick up here in the states, and iOS, which exclusively powers iPhones, iPods and iPads. Despite the two duking it out, Android does hold the highest market share. As of Q2 2018, Statista claims a whopping 82% market share for Android, and no other competitors really exist.

But, for years, I’ve been enamored by an OS that has been seemingly out of my reach, and has had a lot of drawbacks that prevented me from ever considering using it for more than an hour. An OS that’s been going strong for over 5 years, and might soon see a new breath of fresh air due to recent allegations to Huawei. So, after the break, let me tell you my tale of Sailfish OS.

Now one thing I want to briefly mention is the history of this, but don’t take it as gospel. I’m not an expert on this stuff, but what I’ve gathered is Sailfish OS is built on a foundation of MeeGo and Mer. MeeGo has prospered on its own to Tizen, an alternative OS used widely by Samsung on their watches and fridges (for some reason), while Mer was a fork of MeeGo driven by the community, and became the framework for ex-Nokia employees to start a new project, with the funding of Nokia through their Bridge program. Those ex-Nokia employees would found Jolla, and Sailfish OS would be their creation.

I first heard of Sailfish in 2013, as I was dipping my toes into the world of smartphones at that point. It looked incredible, with vivid, vibrant colors, a gesture-driven UI, a uniform design language, and a promise of privacy and openness that we definitely don’t see from companies today. And at the time, I was especially curious of their hardware.

Credit By Michael Coté - Flickr: Charles' Jolla phone, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=31979039

The Jolla phone saw its first pre-orders in April of 2013, and was officially available for purchase by November. It had decent specs for the time. Snapdragon 400, a modest 540x960 resolution (keep in mind, the flagship Samsung Galaxy SIII had a mere 720p resolution), 1GB of RAM, a 2100mAh battery, and most interesting to me, the “Other Half” which powered the system’s Ambiences. You slap a new Other Half on it, and the color changed to match in the OS. Cool in concept.

The later Jolla tablet would be promoted with an Indiegogo campaign, but unfortunately, costs and availability of materials, and the development of Sailfish OS 2.0 led to the tablet ultimately being cancelled, with a handful of units out in the wild.

Since then, Jolla’s gotten back on stable footing. The OS is open for licensing with OEMs, and Jolla’s been able to get official support from places like Russia, and companies like... Sony.

I have the Xperia XA2, released in March 2018 for $300 in the US. I snatched it up on eBay for a mere $170, and I’ve enjoyed its clean design, near-stock OS, and the solid in-house Sony apps like the Gallery and Music apps worked wonders. But then I discovered Jolla was working on Sailfish X for the XA2.

As a way to support the OS, and a way to fund the continued development of an Android compatibility layer for those who need Android apps, Jolla has Sailfish X, a version of their OS that features predictive text input with the keyboard, software updates and customer support, and of course, the Alien Dalvik, which lets you run Android apps on the OS natively. This was important, since I knew I needed apps like Discord, Twitter, Google Maps, and I could see the available open-sourced apps of things like Keepass weren’t gonna cut it.

The process was a bit difficult, and I stayed up until 4am on Saturday, trying to get the phone backed up, flashed, and ready to go with what I needed. First, I had to unlock the bootloader, which Sony and Jolla made it pretty easy. Then I had to buy the OS for the meager $35 USD (which I had done before even being certain my phone would do it, don’t make my mistake), download their software package and just... do it. After an hour, I had the phone running Sailfish, and man, it was a delight from the beginning. Swiping, tapping, sliding, the OS felt smooth, it had this flow about it.

After I got the accounts logged in, I proceeded to grab a few apps... before realizing all too soon that I’d need Google Play services. This is where I’m probably gonna get a lot of flack. For all the effort I put in, I was about to install apps that were at least partially at fault for the slowness of my XA2 on Android, and defeating the point of installing Sailfish.

Let me be forward in saying I don’t care that much about privacy. Do I like Google being involved in every facet of my life? Absolutely not, but they are sadly a necessary evil. And it’s not like you, the reader, would be any different. Tumblr, after all, is owned by Verizon, who has a history of screwing customers in plenty of situations, including firefighters who need constant access to emergency services for contact. And too many things want or need Google Play for me to avoid it. Discord, Telegram, Authy, Youtube, I use all this stuff, and without GP, it gets unhappy. I could remedy some of those by using Amazon or just going open-source with F-Droid, but it won’t fix the issue. And even now, microG, an open-source implementation of Google Play services, isn’t perfect, and would likely cause more headaches than I could handle at 4am on a Saturday.

Fortunately, some good Samaritans on Jolla’s Together forums created a simple Bash script I could run by just SSHing into my phone... Wow, that was a sentence. A fitting one though. After that, and after some headaches with the Google Setup wizard (here’s a tip: use Vision settings to get to your Android settings, and disable permissions on “Android Setup” when you’ve gotten your account logged in), I was finally using my phone, and it runs quite well. Android apps don’t consistently work correctly. Often, I have to close apps like the settings or Keepass because the framework stops updating the frontend, or even fully stop and start Android support, but it works well for just about everything I’m using on it now!

I really like the UI and design, and since the Other Half concept isn’t there for the XA2, ambiences are just a menu away from changing the look and feel of the OS in this pleasing way.

The system flows thanks to its gesture-driven controls. Swiping up from the bezel will bring you your app tray, swiping from the top bezel gives you quick settings. When you’re on the home screen, swiping left or right gives you a sort of agenda view where notifications, weather, and updates from your Twitter, Facebook, XMPP, VK and other accounts stack up. When you’re inside an app, swiping from the left or right bezel should bring you back home. Of all the interface controls on this device, that one is the most inconsistent one, a pain point given the nature of Android’s design language encourages these slide-out menus that you can’t consistently swipe open due to that gesture. The only setting I’ve found on that is to change the left-side bezel swipe to open the agenda instead of going home. I’d personally prefer hot zones on the bezels, so if I wanted to go home, swipe in from the lower half of the screen, but if I want the Android menus, slide from the top half.

Other interesting design cues come from the glowing parts of the UI, where extended menu options usually hide, or places you can slide out to are available.

Sliding down if the top is glowing usually opens this pulley menu, where each option can be selected by just pulling a bit and letting go. It’s an odd one, and due to the inconsistencies of apps and options, the pulley menu isn’t as instantly intuitive as I would hope. If there’s a glowing dot on a page though, you can simply slide to return to a menu from previously, or access another menu if the dot’s on the right side. Again, this is a bit inconsistent, as the unofficial Twitter app, Pingviini, showcases. You can actually just swipe left and right at will to access your notifications, conversations, search and trendings, and timeline. That bottom menu you’re seeing there is hidden so often, it’s basically pointless to have it there. This does make the whole system feel more cohesive, Pingviini looks like it belongs on this phone, but it does hurt usability.

Thus far, I’m still testing and learning about this OS. I had to google screenshotting, which is simply holding the volume rocker together. Doesn’t feel as reliable as the Android alternative of Volume Down and Power / Home, but I’ll take it. I don’t plan on gaming with this. Games are just not what I buy a phone for. It’s nice to have it there, but I’d prefer to just play my 3DS if I’m out and about.

I can’t wait to do more with Sailfish. It feels really nice to use, and I’m honestly draining my phone’s battery just from the amusement of swiping and sliding menus around and admiring the design of this. The last OS I really enjoyed using was Blackberry 10, and this feels like a sort of spiritual successor, with the included agenda feed and the persistent cards for apps you’re using.