#since you can't right align text here

[puckbunnyera]

Just Friends | Luke Hughes

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pairing: luke hughes x reader genre: fluff word count: 2.3k warnings: none summary: maybe you were never really just friends

notes: it's been less than 24 hours since i posted my first fic and i've already received a few asks for a part 2 so here it is. i'll link the first part here. thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read it, like it, reblog it, etc. i'm always really nervous to post my own writing so any type of interaction with it feels good to see.

also, i know the timelines of the games played in both fics don't align with the actual events in real time but we are just going to ignore that for the sake of the plot.

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I sigh as I stand in front of my bedroom mirror, doing one last fit check before Luke arrives. I'm nervous. I come to this realization as I smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles in my shirt. Why? I couldn't tell you. It's been almost two months since the night I met Luke, and we've talked and texted almost every day since. We've even hung out multiple times since then, but I always seem to get all nervous and jittery anytime he presents the offer. My thoughts start to consume me to the point that I'm almost tempted to text him and ask for a rain check, but before I can fall too deeply into them, my attention is stolen by the two girls lying on my bed behind me.

"I still can't believe you're dating The Luke Hughes." One of my friends says causing me to turn my back towards the mirror to look at her.

"We aren't dating." I scoff. "We're-"

"Right, you're 'just friends'." My other friend interrupts, rolling her eyes and using her fingers to make air quotes as she says the words.

"We are." I shrug, moving to sit in my vanity chair so I can put on my shoes.

"You don't have to believe us if you don't want to, but he totally has the hots for you."

"It's so obvious. Any time he has the chance to get away from his job, he's calling, texting, or coming to see you. Even if it's only for a short amount of time. Those aren't typical behaviors of a guy who wants to be 'just friends'."

They continue to go on and on as if they're trying to convince a jury that they're innocent of a crime. The sound of my phone dinging from beside me on the table finally brings their rambling to an end. I pick up to find a text from Luke.

From Luke🏒: i'm here

To Luke🏒: omw

"I would love to stay and continue this conversation," I smile sarcastically as I stand up, "But my friend is waiting for me downstairs." I make sure to add extra emphasis on the word friend.

They both giggle and bid their goodbyes as I walk out of the room. When I make it downstairs to the lobby of my apartment building, Luke, in all of his handsome glory, is waiting patiently by the door.

"Ready to go?" He questions once I'm standing in front of him. I nod in confirmation and he opens the door for us, placing a gentle hand on my back to lead me out.

"What's the plan for today?" I ask once we're settled into the car.

"I need to drop off a couple of things at the dry cleaners since my brother forgot to do it," He gestures to the items in his backseat. "But then I figured we could go to dinner, catch a movie, and then maybe grab some dessert before I take you home."

"Sounds good!" I reply with a smile, with which he returns one of his own before putting the car in drive and pulling away from my apartment building.

Things are going well today. Really well. We're having fun and Luke is being as sweet as always. However, that's the only problem. Despite the stance I took in the argument with my friends, I can't help but let their words get to me. The whole evening, I've been reading too deeply into every little thing he does. Every door he holds open for me, every chair he pulls out for me, every accidental brush of our hands when we walk side-by-side. I'm trying not to let it show, but when Luke's voice rattles my thoughts and pulls me back down to Earth, I know I'm failing.

"Are you okay?" He asks as we sit in the car, waiting for the red light to turn green. "You've been pretty quiet today."

"Really?" I ask, genuinely confused because I hadn't noticed that change in my behavior. When he responds with a solemn nod, guilt rises in my chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was. It has nothing to do with you." Yet it has everything to do with him.

"Did something happen?" He pushes further.

"No, just have a lot on my mind with work and all, but I'm okay. Promise." I give him a soft smile in hopes that it will give him enough reassurance to drop the conversation. Thankfully he does, but the look in his eyes shows clearly that he doesn't believe me. "So my friends were telling me that you have a home game coming up in a couple of days against your oldest brother's team. Are you excited?" I change the subject quickly.

"Yeah," He nods, a smile gracing his features. "My parents are gonna be in town to watch us face off against each other. All three Hughes brothers on the same ice. I'm hoping it will be as exciting as everyone and the media are making it seem." He chuckles. "I'm also just really excited to see Quinn. We haven't gotten to see each other much since I moved out to Jersey and the season started. I think it'll be nice to have us all back together again, even if it's just for a couple of days."

"I bet it will be."

"I'm glad you brought this up because I've been meaning to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"Would you maybe want to come to the game?"

"Do you want me to come?" I'm praying the hopeful look in my eyes isn't obvious.

"Yeah," He nods. "I really do."

"Then I'll be there." I assure him. "The girls were talking about purchasing tickets anyways, so I'll tell them to make it three tickets instead of just the two."

"Don't worry about it. I got it covered."

"Luke, you don't have to do that." I shake my head, readying myself to argue.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to." The look he gives me makes me forget any rebuttal I had previously prepared. "Plus, I already got the tickets and the seating arrangements set up."

"And you just knew I was gonna say yes?" I reply, crossing my arms.

"No, but I was hoping you would."

"I guess some dreams really do come true." I joke.

"I guess so."

We continue to talk and joke around for the remainder of the drive. It goes by a little too quickly though, because before I know it, he's putting the car in park in front of my building. Being the gentleman that he is, he walks me all the way up to my apartment door. It's not until I have unlocked and opened the door that he finally says goodnight, placing a soft peck on my cheek before walking away. Once he has disappeared into the elevator and I'm sure he's gone, I close and lock the door.

As I'm getting ready for bed, I become aware of the slight ache in my cheeks from smiling so much. As soon as my head hits my pillow, the realization dawns on me. I am in love with Luke Hughes.

• ───────────────────────────── •

I'm still in shock at the fact that he really went all out with the tickets. My friends seem to be as well considering that they still haven't managed to pick their jaws up off the floor yet. Never in my life would I have ever expected to be seated in one of the arena's luxury suites. I feel a little bad the more I dwell on it. There are more deserving fans that could be sitting here, yet some girl who knew nothing about the sport two months ago had them handed to her at no cost.

"Hi, you must be Y/N." An unfamiliar woman's voice pulls me from my pity-party.

"Oh, hi." I greet her as I turn in her direction.

"I'm Luke's mom, Ellen." She smiles and pulls me into a quick but gentle embrace. "And this is my husband, Jim." She gestures to the man beside her.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N." He offers a hand for me to shake.

"You as well." I accept it before introducing them to my two friends, who are not-so-discreetly eavesdropping on the conversation.

We all find a seat and fall into casual conversation. Just getting to know each other and talking about this, that, and the other. Once the teams begin to make their way onto the ice, our attentions shift away from each other and onto the players.

Having admitted to my lack of knowledge of the sport before the game started, Jim and Ellen kindly explained the game to me so I would know what is going on. By the end of the first period, I'm clued in enough that I don't need it anymore and eventually, I become just as immersed in the game as the rest of them are.

It's in the second period that Luke scores a goal and we all stand up, cheering loudly with the crowd. The excitement is so high that I don't even shy away when Ellen happily pulls me into a tight hug before pulling away and continuing to cheer for her youngest son. Third period seems to go by in a flash and then the game is ending with a 6-5 win for the Devils, both Jack and Luke having contributed to the score with goals of their own.

Once the final buzzer goes off, my friends bid their farewells before heading out to go home. However, I hang back with Ellen and Jim upon the request of Luke. I follow the two down from the suite until we make it to where the locker rooms are located, waiting in the hall for the three brothers to emerge. We stand around conversing for about ten or so minutes before the men finally make their appearances.

They all embrace and greet each other as I stand back and watch with a smile. They really are a beautiful family. Once they all break away, Luke turns his attention towards me. He steps forward and reaches for me, pulling me into his arms.

"Congratulations." I speak softly as I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders, his wrapped around my waist.

"Thank you." I can hear the smile in his voice.

Time escapes me as I stand in his arms. I'm not even sure how long we've been holding onto each other. It's his brother's voice that finally has us separating.

"You must be the infamous Y/N." Quinn steps up, a smug grin on his face. "I've heard so much about you."

"I've heard a lot about you as well," I respond politely, despite the blush I'm sure I'm sporting due to his teasing tone. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Will you be joining us for dinner?" Ellen asks from where she stands, now next to Quinn.

"Oh, um," I look to Luke for an answer. He nods, a pleading look in his eyes. "Yes, I would love to." I finally reply.

With that being said, we all begin to exit the arena and head to the parking lot. We're almost to the vehicles when Luke gently grabs my hand and pulls me to a stop. Once his family is out of earshot, he begins to speak.

"This might seem random and sudden, but I've been thinking about it for a while." He starts, looking away nervously and lifting a hand to scratch the back of his neck. "And feel free to say no because I don't want you to feel like you have to say yes just because I'm asking. Or if you feel like you need time to think it over, feel free to take all of the time you need. Actually, maybe I-"

"Luke," I say his name softly, placing my hands on his reddening cheeks and forcing his gaze back to mine. His rambling comes to a halt. "Breathe."

"Sorry." He inhales deeply before releasing his breath. "I was wondering, would you be my girlfriend?"

It's my turn to take a deep breath. Out of all the things he could have said, I was not expecting this. I take a moment to gather my thoughts as a smile begins to pull at my lips.

"I would love to." I nod, my smile growing larger resulting in his own.

"Well," He takes a step closer to me. "Since you're my girlfriend now, does that mean I can kiss you?" His question flusters me but I try hard not to show it.

"Do you want to kiss me?"

"Really fucking badly."

"Then kiss me, Luke."

And so he does. His lips crash into mine in a soft but passionate kiss. As if he has waited a lifetime to do it. It's gentle yet desperate. As we finally part, he pecks my lips a few more times before pulling away completely. He opens his mouth to say something but is stopped by Jack shouting from where his family is waiting by the cars, surely having seen the whole display.

"If you two lovebirds are done sucking faces in the middle of the parking lot, I would like to leave now. I'm fucking starving." He teases.

We both turn our gazes in time to see Quinn smack the middle brother in the back of the head and both parents shaking their heads at their son's antics. Luke chuckles at the scene as he intertwines his hand with mine and begins to walk to the car. My heart flutters as I finally admit the obvious to myself. Maybe we weren't ever just friends. I mentally roll my eyes as I climb into the back seat, already picturing the two squealing girls in my head and the endless amounts of I told you so's that I'm sure to hear when I fill them in. However, when Luke slides into the car next to me and interlocks our hands once again, I can't bring myself to care. I think I like this little life.

[kazimirovich]

all i can say forever

i'm jewish. as a child i moved from a rural town where my family saw acts of rage and hate, emigrated from a country with a horrifying history with jews. you know the one, though there are many. i'm 31 now and i have seen and experienced antisemitism my whole life, in the many places i've lived, to varying degrees. not that i should need to qualify this before everything i have to say - but i know what that looks and feels like. in my life there have been times at which i have been in danger. i choose to stay out of danger in all the ways i was taught. (part of that is not moving into someone else's house uninvited (more in a sec))

(well-meaning?) people want me to have a relationship with israel. they are very invested in assuming i have some connection to this shifting space, this project. they associate my german jewishness with a place i have never been and never felt. home, for me, is the uncle i haven't seen in too long, the ailing brother of my mother, the same red nose. it's fresh sheets hung over dry summer grass, it's bavarian farmland, it's thick liptauer on pumpernickel bread warmed over the wood stove. it's my grandmother's dining room and rough fenceposts, borders we disrespected as kids. home is also here and there and where my family is, where my friends are, where i've built myself.

in a geopolitical sense, it is clear that the antisemitic position is to sequester jews into a partitioned state conceived of by non-jews after the sunset of our most recent attempted decimation. antisemitic, to tell jews "move here, be at home in this space of constant war. impose war on others. fight for a tenuous link to an ancestry you've never seen or studied." in a religious sense, sort of a key feature of judaism since the second exile is that - we're in exile. this is an orthodox argument, but i have to admit that rabbinical discourse is pretty convincing. the secular establishment of the israeli state in an attempt to accelerate any so-called redemption has left us at a point where i really don't know what hope we have for that to occur. if you believe in god, how can you believe they are looking down at us, impressed

because beyond theoretical or spiritual reasons, the bloodlust, the vengefulness, the racism, the violation of law (i know that laws are agreed upon, are broken all the time by those who grant themselves impunity), the evil of this continuance, the evil which grinds babies and text and memory, gnashes it all in its droning machinery, its cold horror and inhumane (unhuman) practice, seemingly perfected... it is obvious to anyone with a single thought that it is an ethnic cleansing. the forcible "movement" (murder) of people of one group from land people of another group want. is ethnic cleansing. we are watching it in real time, and the world stands by and in many cases, it endorses, it beats and imprisons those who are brave enough to stand up to it, it rewards cowardly men in war rooms who having read fukuyama and arendt and maybe even voegelin conveniently forget themselves, because they can afford to, and wave their hands and make calls and decimate entire families cities sovereignties. and liberalism - that fickle ideology whose sole search is for the justification of atrocity - sends its thoughts and prayers, and emphasizes how just horrible both sides are, and conveniently forgets the histories that have led each "side" to this. convenient.

and i can't do anything about it. i can perfectly articulate every well-thought-out argument, i can cry the most frustrated tears from the well of my chest and i can scream that this isn't right, because it isn't, but nobody fucking cares. those who matter have decided for those who don't.

if you align yourself with israel, or feel any sympathy toward the supposed plight of active settlers (not a neutral spot to be in, by the way - another rational argument), i hope you know how thoroughly you've been manipulated. how successful the project of those with the power to decide we don't matter has been. you and i don't matter. so-called free thinkers meme. you fucking idiot. you genocidal maniac.

not putting this under a cut. fuck you. read it all and remember my jewish name and keep it far out of your mouth the next time you tell someone why the people you've told me are my neighbors deserve a flattening.

[mellowmistt]

The Sleepover-Chris Sturniolo (Part 3)

Summary: You attend a party where you see the triplets for the first time again since Matt and Nick found you out about you and Chris...

Content: Fluff; swearing; smut; unprotected sex; mentions of alcohol

A/N: Make sure that you have read the other parts of this series before reading this! (pinned on my profile). Sorry this has taken kinda long, I kept bouncing between ideas and had writers block lol. Also this isn't all proofread yet so sorry if there are any mistakes, let me know if you want part four!

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Saturday. Another tiresome week had gone by again. I hadn't physically seen Nick, Matt or Chris since last weekend, when we got caught. But I was going to see them again, tonight.

It was one of their influencer friend's birthday party, and I got invited along with the triplets as I had hung out with them a few times, and we became pretty good friends. My head had been restless all day,all week. Replaying that conversation over and over.

"Well,shit." Nick says.

The room fills with silence. We all stare blankly a each other for a few moments, until Matt starts to walk towards his room.

"Whatever" He says, Chris glances at me before following Matt, calling after him. I glance over at Nick as the door shuts, I couldn't tell what he was feeling.

I could feel my eyes welling up with tears, I look down as I start to walk towards my bag, trying not to burst out crying and embarrass myself more.

"Hey, I still love you, nothing has changed you'll always be my best friend, I don't mind about you and Chris." He says pulling me in for a hug.

I squeeze my arms around him, feeling my hot tears roll down my face. The sound of Matt and Chris's mumbled conversation was getting louder and more argumentative,I uncontrollably started balling.

"I promise you, he's going to get over it" Nick says, pulling away from the hug.

I made it home from work, my phone alerting me as I walked though my front door, I had a text from Chris.

Messages Chris I can't wait to see you later, I miss you❤

I smile as I write my reply. I had missed him this past week. As much as I couldn' wait to be with him again, I felt a big pit of anxiety in my core, is Matt mad at me? What if he never talks to me again?

I drive down the downtown roads, the sunlight kissing my skin through the silhouettes of the palm trees aligned across the sidewalk. Drives like these bring me back to when I used to stay here every summer at my grandparents house. I used to hate having to go back to Massachusetts, but now that I live in LA, I miss the east coast all the time. I moved here not long after graduating high school to help run a boutique with my best friend Allison, as well as my small etsy business where I make scented candles, wax melts and diffusers which is actually doing quite well. Pumpkin spice is mine and Nick's favourite, it reminds us of home. Fall time is a dream, just like how you see in the movies, orange leaved trees and ridiculously decorated houses for halloween. It's one of the topics that Matt and I can always talk about for hours.

I pulled in to a parking space near the back of the venue and headed towards the party, fixing my dress and checking my hair and makeup before stepping through he doors. I chose a short dark red silk dress, my hair in a slick back low bun and a soft glam with a red lip to match the dress. I greeted the host with a birthday card and good wishes, and slowly walked around in an attempt to find Nick, Matt and Chris.

I heard my name being called from the right of me, I turned and saw them, Chris waving his hands towards them signalling for me to come over with a big cheesy smile on his face. I smile as I walk over, Chris comes and hugs me first.

"Fuck you look so hot" He whispers into my ear, before pulling away. I smile back at him.

"Yayyy you're here, holy shit you look amazing!" Nick exclaims, giving me a hug.

"Thank you!"I say, pulling away, my eyes meet with Matt's, he gives me a soft smile as he pulls me in for a hug.

"Hey come with me a sec" He says, before pulling away and walking towards the door.

"I'll be right back!" I say, facing Chris and Nick, who were now seated around the table, before following Matt.

I was beginning to feel nervous again as I approached matt, who was leaning against a pillar outside, near the main entrance.

"About the other day, I'm sorry for the way I just walked off, I just...never expected that" he says quietly, looking apologetically in my eyes.

"Of course, I understand, it's ok.. I just didn't want to mess up our friendship. I love all of you guys so much and I'm sorry that you found out like that" I reply.

"Hey it's all good, nothing has changed, I just needed a moment to process it." He says, with a warming smile.

I lean in to hug him again. "Thank you" I say softly.

"Okay, we better get back inside" He says, before guiding me back to the table.

I see Chris over at the bar, and go to him.

"Hey" I say, gently laying my hand on his shoulder to signal that i'm back.

"Well hello" He says smiling. "He talk to you about it?" He asks.

"Yeah, everything's good!" I say.

"What drink do you want? You go back to the table." He says.

"Hmm, get me a strawberry daiquiri" I say with a smile, before returning back to Nick and Matt. I knew that Chris and I couldn't display any signs of romantical affection in a big public space, we still wanted things to be quiet.

About an hour had passed, I was sat next to Chris, sipping my second cocktail, watching Nick and Matt mingle with other guests. I felt Chris's hand on my thigh as he leant in to whisper into my ear.

"Let's go outside."

We both subtly sneak our way out of the venue and head for my car which was parked in a dark space at the back of the car park. We both get into the car, a street light on the other side of the hedge fence was the only light source.

As soon as the doors shut, Chris grabbed my shoulders and smashed his lips against mine. I slowly climb onto his lap as me moves his hands down to hold onto my hips.

"You don't know how long I have been waiting to kiss you tonight" He whispers, his forehead leaning against mine.

"Me too" I smirk.

"And did I say how sexy you look in that pretty little red dress" He says softly as he looks me up and down, until he meets my eyes again.

"Mhmm" I nod, before readjusting myself on his lap. As I shuffle my hips closer to his, I brush against his crotch area, causing him to let out a small muffled whimper. I feel him start to harden underneath me. I lean in to smother my lips with his again, starting to grind my hips, building up his tension more.

He leans his head back, closing his eyes, and then looks back into my eyes as he lifts my hips up. I unbuckle his belt and he shuffles up a bit so I can pull down his pants. He slides my red dress up my waist, revealing my red laced thong.

"Wow, this looks good on you" He whispers with a grin.

I let out a small laugh before quickly double checking the surroundings, making sure there is no one around this part of the car park, they probably wouldn't even be able to see us if there were anyway.

I tease him with one hand for a moment, watching his face squirm, my other hand moving my underwear to the side. I align myself with him, and slowly ease down onto him, his hands grabbing my waist tighter as I go down. I move slow, letting my body get used to him, my hands hold onto his shoulders for support. I start to speed up my movements, our breaths getting more rushed. I attach my lips to his, feeling his tongue graze against mine when suddenly a loud ringtone echoed around the car. I pulled away from the kiss and stopped my movements when Chris picked up his phone, showing me the screen, Nick was calling him. He went to place it onto the driver seat when his thumb slipped and pressed the green answer button.

"Oh, fuck!" He says, his voice still wavering from the simulation.

"Chris! where are you" Nick shouts, the loud music in the background signaling that he is still inside.

"Uhm-uh" Chris mumbles, trying to steady his breathing.

"Hold on I can't hear you let me come outside" Nick shouts.

I laugh quietly watching Chris's face drop.

"Nick I just needed some air i'll uh-" Chris says as I subconsciously readjust myself, the sudden movement making Chris let out a small moan. I cup one hand over my mouth, trying not to burst out laughing, watching Chris's face get more and more uncomfortable.

"Well I don't fucking see you out here!" Nick says, either ignoring or not acknowledging the noise that Chris just made.

"I'll be back in like ten minutes!" Chris rushes, quickly ending the phone call and putting the phone on the driver's seat. I resume my movements, Chris returns his hands to my waist as I try to suppress my laugher from that awkward encounter. I kiss him again through muffled whines. The feeling of him brushing my g-spot was starting to induce my climax. The windows were steaming up from our restless breaths.

"Oh, fuck" I whisper as I lean my head back, closing my eyes in reflex to the knot in my stomach building up, ready to explode. My hands gripping onto Chris's shoulders, his hands tightening on my waist as he finishes. My body twitches as I finish a few seconds later, letting out a loud moan followed by loud breaths. I lift my head up and meet my eye's with Chris's again as we both smile at each other. I slow down my movements, grinding my waist forward and back until I climb off him and roll onto the driver's seat.

We reclothe and gather ourselves before going back into he party. Nick finds us as soon as we step back ino the venue.

"Where the fuck were you both?" He slurs, his drinks starting to take effect.

"Just taking a breather" Chris says as he looks over at me with a smirk.

I cover my mouth to hide my laugh as Nick pulls a grossed out expression.

"I don't wanna know what that means" Nick responds as he grabs my arm. "Lets danceee!" He says excitedly.

Special mentions! <3 @reirei-purple @chrizzpiecreme @brianna776 @colorthecosmos444

[lucy90712]

hi love

can we get something with hector fort and f1 or f2 driver reader and fans shipping them ?:)))

This weekend is a special weekend for me it is the first time that my boyfriend is coming to watch me race. Hector and I have known each other since we were kids and we have been dating now for almost a year. He has been there for me throughout my racing career from when I did karting to when I first made it to formula 4 and even now that I've made the jump to formula 2. He hasn't been able to watch me race in f2 yet though as our schedules just haven't aligned either I'm halfway across the world or he has a match to play. He has also made a breakthrough into Barcelona’s first team this season which is why he's been so busy and missed some of my races but I don't care about that I'm just so proud of him and everything he's achieved. That being said it will be nice to have him here this weekend as I'm convinced I race better when he's here. 

He couldn't make any of the practices and qualifying or our sprint race as he had to be in training but now that it's Sunday he's here to watch the feature race. Even just knowing he's going to be here has motivated me to perform to my very best all weekend and so far it's paid off as I have had my best performances of the season. I qualified 3rd on the grid and finished 4th in the sprint race yesterday so I'm feeling good about today's race. I really want to win the feature race as it would be my first win and at my home race and with Hector here it would just be perfect. 

Hector arrived late last night but I couldn't see him as I had to get to sleep as I had to be up early to get to the track. I didn't expect to see him until I was at the track but when I woke up he text me asking when and where I was having breakfast so he could join me. By the time I was ready he was already waiting for me in the hotel lobby so we could do to the track and eat there a thats what I'm supposed to do. When we arrived there was hardly anyone there other than the other drivers and engineers which was really nice as I always hate when there's people everywhere. A few of the other drivers stopped us a we were heading to the catering tent to talk to Hector which I knew would happen but when it's not busy it's ok. 

While we had breakfast my phone was going crazy next to me but I ignored it because I wanted to enjoy my time with Hector before the stress of the race. Eventually it got so annoying that I had to see what was going on and I had hundreds of notifications from our driver group chat talking about me and Hector and thousands of Instagram notifications of new followers and tags in posts. As it turns out it wasn't as empty here as I thought as there was a number of pictures of me and Hector together in the paddock some just stood with each other and others holding hands. We have never made our relationship public knowledge as we didn't need to before but now it's been done for us. 

This was the last thing I needed before a race as instead of getting ready and getting myself in the right mindset I'm sat scrolling through Instagram comments and Twitter seeing what people have to say about me. Of course half of the stuff is hating me because I took their favourite footballer off the market which I saw coming but it still hurts to see what people say. I was so in my own world managed I didn't even notice anyone enter my drivers room until someone had taken my phone out my hands. 

"You need to forget about everything that's happened amor this isn't going to help you get ready for the race" Hector said 

"I know but I can't stop myself I want to know what everyone thinks of us because right now nothing is confirmed and they already hate me" I said 

"They can hate you all they want I'm happy and I love you so what others think shouldn't matter if anything you should want to go out there and prove to these people that you are more than just my girlfriend" Hector said 

"You're right I need to get myself ready to win" I said 

"That's the spirit I'm going to delete social media from your phone so you can focus on the race and later we can figure things out together" he said 

"Now go out there and make yourself proud" he encouraged 

He held me and gave me a kiss before leaving me so I could get my helmet on and take my car to the grid. Usually on the grid I'd get back out of the car but this time I stayed sat there getting myself ready. Hector is right I need to go out there and prove to myself that I'm better than all of those people say I am and I'm more than just his potential girlfriend. It feels more important than ever to do well in this race but to do that I need to be focused as f2 is incredibly chaotic. 

The race was chaos as I thought it might be in the first corner lots of people tried to overtake when they couldn't but luckily I managed to come out without any damage and without losing my position. From then it was about managing until my pit stop then it was time to work on moving forward. I overtook the driver in front of me not long after my pit stop then I had the mission of getting the gap in front of me down which wasn't easy as it was a good few seconds. As I was working on keeping a steady but quick rhythm with my lap times I got a radio message from my team saying that the driver in front of me had crashed so now I was in the lead with a 2 second gap behind me. There was still 10 laps left but all I had to do was be careful and keep to my target lap time which isn't too difficult. 

Then it happened I crossed the line in first place which didn't feel real until my team came on the radio congratulating me and all I could do was scream with excitement. I did it I actually did it I won my first race after all of the crazy things that have happened today. My hands were shaking like crazy as I stopped the car in front of the little first place board they have in the pit lane I could barely get myself out of the car I was just so overwhelmed but when I saw my entire team and Hector standing there waiting for me I somehow got my strength back and ran towards them. I was thrown in the air while everyone patted my back or my helmet to congratulate me. When my feet were back on the ground I took my helmet off and hugged Hector tightly as he was stood off to the side of my team. 

"I'm so proud of you you were amazing out there" he said 

"Thank you what you said earlier really motivated me I would've been a mess if you didn't take my phone off me" I said 

"Don't put your achievement on me you did that all on your own I'm just here to support you" he said 

"Well I still want to thank you for supporting me I'm so happy you are here to witness my first win" I said 

He didn't say anything back he just kissed me which we both knew was on camera but at this point who cares. Right now all I want is to celebrate my win with my boyfriend so to me it doesn't matter if people see and what they say because they don't know us and they haven't just won an f2 race. 

After the race I had interviews and other things to do but eventually I made it to my last interview. The interviewer congratulated me on my win and asked about the race then they showed me a post Hector had made on Instagram and asked me a few things about our relationship. Seeing that post and talking about him making made me smile even more than I was before because he made that post knowing I wouldn't see it anytime soon just because he wanted to show his love and support. Knowing he loves me enough to want to support me so publicly just tells me that I picked the right guy.

[tiredofthehumanlife]

So we’re all trans?

Barbie dolls: t4t!Jegulus x genderfluid!reader

Word: 3.3k ish

Summary: James and Regulus are nervy to tell you they’re trans while you are nervy to tell them you’re genderfluid and hilarity ensues

Warnings: Lightning McQueen, Shrek, Spiderman, and Peter Pettigrew mentioned, James is a kale freak, I talked like a lot most of which was not necessary, mentions: shots (testosterone), getting vaccinations, cheating, domestic homicide, medieval torture, your experience with genderfluidity(it’s going to be a word for today) might not align with mine but i kept it as vague as possible, a bit of a Disney channel moment but just like ignore the cringe baby it's fine it adds character, you place your hands on your hips but it's not like “you place your tiny baby girl hands on your voluptuous hips in girly frustration” yk so it works for whatever gender you're feeling🩷, insecure feelings in gender identity, everybody is worried the other is going to break up with them bc they’re trans so it's like hypothetical transphobia, you wear pants, jamie used once, yeah i think thats it please read the author’s note i want to cover all my bases to make sure this doesn’t have unintended messages right okay cool

A/n: I'm going to use the small text bc I'm going to be yapping a lot so I apologize to all the bad vision freaks(I can't see two inches in front of my face) right so I just wanted to say that both James and Regulus had medically assisted transitions (that feels like a right phrasing) reg had top surgery, James takes puberty blockers, and they both take T I just wanted to say that you do not have to take anything or do anything to be valid in your trans identity some people can’t afford surgeries and some people don't want them and everybody is valid (except for those people who are like “me when the trans guy with triple d’s gets mad I mess up their pronouns” they can suck my 12-foot long dick) I just wanted to say this because I didn’t want someone to read this and feel like they don’t count because they didn’t follow these two rich boys’ paths okay awesome

request: right here dickhead

James and Regulus have been dating for years. Strangely enough, they had been taking care of each other since day one. It was truly simple, once they moved in together their acts of service quadrupled. Suddenly James was sitting with Regulus on the edge of the bathtub, gently removing his chest tape. Regulus decided chest tape wasn’t enough, and James was reaching the shelves over Regulus’ elbow height for him. James became a supreme master at making soup while Regulus was in recovery from his top surgery. Eventually, Regulus was healed and extremely joyous. He was wandering around the house with his shirt off just for the hell of it. Regulus was prancing down the porch stairs to get the mail in only his James’ plaid pajama pants and cat slippers.

James was lucky enough to have loving accepting parents. He started puberty blockers early on and eventually, he swapped them out for testosterone so he neglected the want and or perceived need for a top surgery. James, after having years of practice, lost his uneasiness towards the injections. Regulus, however, was extremely terrified of needles. As a kid, he was practically breaking Sirius’ hand from his grip when he needed to get his vaccinations. Before he met James, Sirius would do them for him. Now, Regulus would stand in the kitchen covering his eyes with his forearm and turning away as far as he could. James would inject the shot as fast as possible, rewarding Regulus’ bravery with 80 kisses on his cheek and ice cream.

They were out to their friends, but it wasn’t exactly something mentioned frequently. It didn’t really matter all that much. Barty would call you a dickhead no matter what was in your pants. Marlene was similar but her go-to insult was ‘ bitchey-bitch-bitch-stupid-face’, friends only of course. You can’t have that insane unfiltered language out with strangers. Lily loved everyone, closing off every single phone call with ‘I love you’ even if it was customer service.

Peter was similar although instead he thanked people by saying ‘I appreciate you’. He once mentioned how he was working at a restaurant having a horrible day. He was yelled at more than thrice in a row, and he was certain if someone called him one more bad name he’d burst into tears. Then this woman came in, who appeared to have met the first dinosaur, and she was so kind to him. When she left she said ‘Thanks, baby. I appreciate you.’ And he sobbed in the freezer. Peter immediately engraved it into his dictionary. All their friends knew, but it was like knowing their favorite letter; it’s nice to know but that information doesn’t really come into play very frequently.

Then they met you. Regulus had dragged James to the bookstore. James loved going to the bookstore with Regulus. Regulus liked wandering for hours. He liked scanning the backs and summaries inside the front cover. James liked the bookstore mainly because Regulus liked it. He also liked looking through the cookbooks and workout guides. Sometimes when the story was empty he’d head towards the kid section, squeeze himself into one of the tiny plastic chairs, and do the puzzles. Eventually when Regulus would finish looking, a hefty stack in his arms, he’d find James. Usually, James would brag about how ‘those dumbasses’ had nothing on him. He finished eight puzzles in under a minute. Regulus would remind him the puzzles had six pieces each.

That time was different though. James had looked through all the cookbooks, finding one he liked. James looked at a few of the workout books, getting bored when they said something he didn’t agree with. He finished all the puzzles made for toddlers, and yet his boyfriend still wasn’t done. It was odd. So James went on a search for Regulus. He checked the poetry section first, no Regulus. He went to the fantasy next, no dice. James stalked up and down every aisle. His ears perched up at the sound of Regulus’ voice. It was a bit strange, Regulus didn’t usually volunteer to socially interact with anyone. James assumed he got trapped into small talk, rushing to his boyfriend’s rescue.

James found Regulus actually grinning with a stranger. James didn’t even know he could do that. Regulus was holding a book open, letting you lean to look over his shoulder. You both looked more than excited to finally meet somebody you could talk to about your favorite book. The more James looked at you, the more he understood why Regulus was so happy to talk to you. Delectable was a nasty word to use to describe a person so James opted instead for extremely stunning. Eventually with Regulus’ book opinions and James’ cheesy flirting, their couple grew into a throuple.

Your relationship is a little fresh now. In the way that you had no idea what either of their pajamas looked like but you knew exactly where their spoons were. James and Regulus weren’t entirely sure if you would accept them with open arms if they shared every part of them, including their favorite letter. They stayed silent for the most part, letting you stay ignorant just this once.

You were harboring your own skeleton in the closet. You haven’t told them you are genderfluid, and you haven’t told them how many frustrations that caused. You love who you are but for fucks sake could it be just a smidge easier? Your secret was weighing on you. It was all you could think about while you were out with your two amazing boyfriends. If you told them they could disprove and break up with you on the spot. They could also accept you but an overthinking mind never seems to be optimistic.

Your boyfriends seemed to notice your mood change, worried now you might’ve put together a couple of context clues and realized maybe they aren’t cis. What if now you were disgusted by them? James squashed that idea when Regulus voiced it, though it still lingered with him. Regulus knew James was just trying to relieve him of his worries but Regulus still appreciated his attempt.

Finally, the camel’s back broke and you were heading straight to their shared home. It was edging towards their bedtime the sun had set a couple of hours ago, fully relying on their warm lamps. They both had changed into their matching pajamas; plaid pants and Spiderman t-shirts. Regulus had slippers with tiny cat ears on the top and little cat faces on them. James however had Lighting McQueen slippers that lit up when he took a step. They were cute when he first got them but the novelty wore off rather quickly and now Regulus complains that James’ shoes give him a headache. Regulus settled into the barstool behind the kitchen counter with his reward ice cream. James leaned against the counter across from him, slurping very loudly on his smoothie. James jutted it out to Regulus.

“Want some?” Regulus looked up at James with a raised eyebrow.

“James, if I ever say I want some of your kale and banana smoothie, I give you full permission to assassinate me. Preferably quickly.” James pouted, pointing the lip of his glass back towards himself. Regulus rolled his eyes and took another bite of his ice cream.

“You could’ve just said no, also what did we say about suicide jokes?” James said, pointing over his shoulder at the small whiteboard on the fridge that said ‘6 days without a suicide joke’ in James’ handwriting. Regulus dropped his spoon back into his bowl, feeling particularly peeved at the unjust accusation.

“No, no. That’s not suicide, that's homicide. Two entirely different things. You can’t dock my streak just because you didn’t find the joke funny.” Regulus stuck his finger at James. James pushed Regulus’ finger away, leaning forward to steal a kiss from him. James pulled away, taking another sip of his smoothie as Regulus took another spoonful.

“No offense, babe, but I’m not sure if I know anyone who would find domestic homicide funny,” James added, with his straw still in his mouth. Regulus scoffed.

“That’s because you have lame friends,” James’ jaw dropped in offense at Regulus’ words. “Barty would find it hilarious, and Dorcas would find it mildly amusing.” Regulus retorted, grinning like he won their game. James pressed his lips together in disapproval. As he was opening his mouth to continue the verbal play fight, a knock on their door interrupted him. They both shared a look of confusion. James shrugged, leaving his smoothie on the counter to get to the door.

“See but Barty finds The Pear of Anguish funny,” James argued, his slippers lighting up on his way to the door.

“Barty’s a masochist, I’m not sure what you were expecting when you took him to that museum,” Regulus muttered into his bowl as James peered out the peephole. James hummed in a confused tone, opening the door to find you. You were not in pajamas and you looked rather stressed.

“Hey sweetheart, you okay?” James asked, worry lacing his words. He moved back letting you step into their foyer. Regulus looked up at James’ words. He doesn’t usually greet the door-to-door salesman like that. Regulus quietly joined you two at the door, he understood James’ greeting now but didn’t understand why you were visiting them looking so frazzled. You looked them both up and down, slightly pausing at James’ shoes. You shrugged your coat off, placing it on their coat rack. James found it at a thrift store and Regulus repainted it.

“You two look dashing.” You muttered as you straightened your shirt. Regulus glanced down at his pajamas, suddenly feeling slightly judged. He crossed his arms over the very large print of Spiderman.

“James picked it out,” Regulus whispered, trying to ignore the stinging on his cheeks. James’ chest puffed out, taking a wider stance and pulling at the end of his shirt so you can see the picture better.

“Aren’t we cute?” James said, confidence making him smile brighter. You nodded.

“Yeah, gotta love Spiderman.” You squished your lips together. Even with your words seeming relaxed your nerves were spreading to Regulus. James seemed to taste the uneasiness in the air.

“Are you alright? If this was planned I would’ve gotten you a shirt.” James reached over, rubbing Regulus’ shoulder to give him silent support. You nodded, staring at the ground to take in a deep breath.

“Right yeah. Sorry to drop in on you guys, but I think we need to talk.” You said, giving yourself a breath to steady yourself. Regulus felt his stomach jump into his throat. It felt tighter now, his heartbeat reaching his ears. Regulus glanced over to James, finding he was already looking. James gave him a tiny smile that Regulus could tell was forced.

“Yeah absolutely.” James brightly said, gesturing towards the living room. You lead the way. Regulus moved his hands to the back of his neck, trying to soothe himself. James noticed, grabbing both of Regulus’ shoulders to rub them, waddling behind Regulus. James kissed Regulus on his temple. Regulus reminded himself that even if what he thought was happening was happening, he’d still have James in the end.

Regulus and James settled on the couch, holding onto each other for emotional support. You started pacing in front of them, walking from one end of James’ favorite rug to the other. James intertwined his fingers with Regulus’, letting Regulus fiddle with them in his lap. It was better than biting his nails. ‘I should get a whiteboard for nail biting’ James thought to himself before zoning back in on your rapid pacing. Regulus’ eyes were following you with panic behind his head movements. Your anxiety was dripping out through your hands, slapping them together over and over again. James was starting to worry that Regulus would get hypnotized moving his eyes back and forth like that.

“You know, darling. I learned the hard way that anxious thoughts are like burps; better out than in.” James offered, hoping it would soothe you a little. You paused your pacing behind the coffee table, turning to face James.

“Did you just quote Shrek?” James clenched his jaw, feeling caught. James saw Regulus turning his head slowly to look at him out of the corner of his eye. James let out a nervous and breathy chuckle.

“It’s good advice,” James muttered, slipping further down the couch. You sighed and faced them both. You held your hands behind your back. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

“Right okay so I need to come clean to you two, I’ve been hiding something for a while now. It’s been stressing me out a lot and I think I would rather risk our relationship than have to go through this alone.” Regulus squeezed James’ hands tighter. James had flashbacks to Regulus getting a shot at the doctor's office.

“Is there another person?” Regulus abruptly said, cutting into your steady breathing time. You looked up at him shocked, quickly shaking your head.

“Oh, no, no, no. No. I would never do that. I would never cheat on you guys.” You quickly rushed out, like Regulus might implode if you didn’t get it out fast enough. James moved to make a fast joke, pushing a small bit of the thick tension out the door with a broom.

“I haven’t been cheating. Have you, Reg?” James asked with a pained grin. Regulus knew his tactics, joining in to shove some of his anxiety behind a potted plant.

“Not that I’m aware of.” Regulus felt himself let out a strained laugh that came out more like a cat hacking up a hairball. You looked at them both with a worried look. Regulus wanted to settle your nerves, giving you his shining smile. Which was just him showing his teeth with dead eyes. You took a step back, holding both your hands up.

“Okay well don’t do that.” You whispered. Regulus relaxed his face. You shivered, shaking out your worries through your hands.

“I’m just going to say it. It’s a lot of words so maybe just sit quietly and let me spill.” You looked up at them both for their agreement. James sat up straighter, giving you all of his attention. Regulus kept his wide, slightly unsettling, eyes on you. You gave them both an awkward smile.

“I’m genderfluid. Which if you don’t know means my gender kind of flows through like all of them. I’m kind of worried about telling you this because I’m not entirely sure if you’ll still think of me the same.” Your voice cracked. You let out a breathy chuckle wagging your finger towards the ground.

“Oh you cheeky mother fucker, pull it together.” You whispered to yourself. You pushed your shoulders back, speaking again. “And it’s just a little frustrating and confusing because the whole time I’m just second-guessing myself. I just feel like no matter what I do I’m never a hundred percent confident in myself. It’s like I’m sitting there wondering-“

“wondering if you’re valid or if you made it all up?” Regulus asked, somehow making his eyes wider. You looked away from your fiddling hands to stare at him quizzically. You whispered the tiniest agreeance, James was shocked he still heard it. James decided to speak up and comfort your frustrations.

“It’s alright that you feel that way, darling. You’re entirely valid. We’ll love you no matter what, unless it’s murder-“

“Well-“

”No matter what. I want you to be your happiest, whether that be doing naked cartwheels in the backyard or making a fort under the kitchen table. Man, woman, something else, a nice mixture of both, I’m here for you. Confusion and frustration happen all the time it's alright. I think it’s important to just make sure you do whatever makes you happiest for that moment or day.” James explained. As he talked Regulus watched your shoulders sink with relaxation. Your anxious eyebrows slowly retreated back to their resting place, the worry lines on your forehead dissapeared again. James let out his own sigh, glad he got to relax his partner again.

“And on a different note, I’m trans myself so I support you on extreme levels,” James added, giving you a bright smile. Regulus scoffed next to him.

“Oh, you’re trans? Not we’re trans?” James clutched his pearls, reeling back to look at Regulus.

“Well, I’m not going to come out for you. I don’t know if you’re comfortable doing that. It’s not my story to tell.” James said, shaking his head at Regulus. Regulus muttered a few choice words at James under his breath as he turned back to you. You looked to have a million math problems in your head.

“So if we could just wrap back around, you’re both trans?” Regulus and James nodded at your question in sync. You sighed, looking around the living room. You placed your hands on your hips in exasperation.

“Just to clear everything up for those at home, I’ve walking around for weeks anxious up the wazoo for absolutely no reason?” Regulus and James glanced at each other.

“yeah.”

“it appears that way, yes.” Regulus watched you groan and drop your head in your hands.

“To throw my two cents in, it’s totally valid to feel a little discombobulated. Gender is hard and often it’s difficult to figure out what you’re truly feeling, it took me years to realize I wasn't nonbinary. It’s entirely okay that you feel like this.” Regulus said, releasing James’ hand from his grip. James’ shook his hand out, finally getting feeling back in his fingers. You gave Regulus a small smile.

“Regulus, love of my life, can I please eat your face?” Regulus smiled at you, nodding his head. You quickly made your way around the coffee table to lightly peck Regulus’ lips. You moved past Regulus to kiss James as well. You squeezed yourself between the two of them. Regulus rested his head on your shoulder, moving your hand to play with in his lap. James pressed himself against you, smushing his cheek against yours.

“I'm the love of your life too, right?” James asked, his words rolling onto your cheek. You hummed.

“Yes, Jamie.” Regulus interrupted your sweet moment.

“James, do me a favor and go get my ice cream.” James let out a loud gasp, jumping out of his seat and jogging towards the kitchen.

“My smoothie!” You wrapped your arms around Regulus, kissing his temple.

“I wasn’t insulting your shirt before, by the way.” You whispered into his hair. Regulus nodded against your arm.

“Is his smoothie worthy of stealing?” You muttered as quietly as you could so James didn’t hear you. Regulus let out a snort.

“Oh fuck no.” Regulus said before adding “I’ll give you a few bites of my ice cream.” You gasped, smacking a kiss to the apple of his cheek.

“You’re so kind.” Regulus groaned at your words.

“Not really being kind. It’s my reward for being brave, as James said. And I know that was probably scary for you so technically speaking you do deserve some of it. It has nothing to do with me it's just like the rules.” Regulus said, trying to cover up that he might actually have a heart.

“Right, the rules.” Regulus hummed. James soon returned with his smoothie and shockingly two bowls of ice cream. He handed one to you and one to Regulus. You three sat on the couch as you finished your sweet treats and smoothie. Even though technically speaking your reward was already given to you, Regulus’ spoon would randomly stick out toward you. You thanked Regulus with a peck on his cheek after each spoonful. Eventually, when his bowl was empty your spoon would jut out towards him, he was quite brave coming out to you today. James seemed to notice the food sharing, offering up a sip of his smoothie. You and Regulus both grimaced at him in sync before turning back to your bowl.

[imashoe69420]

Hello! I'm having a bit of a rough time so I thought I'd send this ask. What would the turtles be like with a S/O that has anxiety, depression and PTSD? How would they help them if their depression is bad enough that on some days they can't get out of bed, forget to eat, etc? Bonus if S/O is plus-sized/kinda chubby and insecure about it.

So since I’m doing all the boys, each mental illness/self-image issue will be separated by turtle. I hope that’s okay!

The reader’s symptoms are also closely aligned with my own as well as outside research. If you feel that something could be more accurate, let me know! :)

===================================

Rise!Bros X Reader Headcannons★彡

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Relationships: Dating

Pronouns: Gender Neutral (They/Them)

Timeline: Post Movie

Warnings ⚠️: Language, Mental Heath Issues, Brief Mention of Medication (Mikey)

===================================

Leo // PTSD

• Leo would be the first the know how to deal with PTSD.

• Well, not necessarily know, but empathize with you because of his time in the prison dimension.

• Both of you had vivid nightmares, so most nights, you two would stay awake together.

• The first time this happened, Leo caught you with your head in the refrigerator picking at some leftovers:

• “Nightmares?” The blue turtle asked, sleep lacing his voice.

• “Nightmares.” You nodded.

• You two finished some leftover spaghetti, then trudged back to Leo’s room, spending the rest of the night under the covers watching TNTL videos.

• This became a normal occurrence, talks eventually getting deeper:

• “It’s just… I feel so stupid sometimes. It happened years ago. Why do I still think about it almost every day?” You sighed as you laid on the blue clad turtle’s plastron.

• Leo shrugged. “I dunno, it’s more annoying than traumatic now.”

• There’s a pause when Leo took your hand in his own.

• “But I don’t think you’re stupid for it.”

• You smiled as he rubbed his hand over your knuckles.

• “Thanks, Lee.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raph // Anxiety

• Being the oldest in the family causes a lot of anxiety, especially in the Hamato household.

• You were also stressed being the oldest sibling as well. One of your siblings was in the hospital, and although it was just for a broken leg, it had you worried.

• Sleeping was a battle. One night, you were in the lair in Raph’s room.

• You slowly watched the clock tick by.

• 11PM… 12PM… 1PM.

• And you were still tossing and turning.

• Eventually, you started to think about your sibling and if it was right for you to be with your boyfriend rather than being in the hospital with them.

• It didn’t take long for the tears to start flowing as you had convinced yourself that you were a bad sibling.

• The snapping turtle eventually noticed your sadness and sleepily asked you what was wrong.

• “I should be with them, not here.” You said tearfully. “What if something happens? What if they dropped the remote to contact the nurse? What if—”

• “(Y/N), (Y/N)… don’t worry so much. They’re gonna be fine.” Raph tried to quell your anxiety.

• “But what if—”

• “Ya’ can’t live a life on ‘what if’s, (Y/N).” He interrupted you, speaking gently. “I know how you feel. You think I’m never worried about these knuckle heads? Ya’ just gotta trust them and the doctors.”

• You pushed your hair back from your face and sighed. “I… I know. It’s just…”

• “I know.”

• Raph scooped you in his arms and held you close. “You don’t have to explain. Just try to rest so you can see them tomorrow.”

• You snuggled up against him, attempting to hold back your tears. “Okay… I’ll try. Thank you. Really.”

• “What’re big siblings for?” He said sarcastically before you both eventually fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mikey // Depression

• Despite being medicated, there were moments when you would have a depressive episode.

• This consisted of staying at home, ignoring texts to hang out, not showering for days at a time, and overeating while watching a random Netflix Original.

• Mikey respected that you sometimes needed time away, although he was naturally clingy.

• After about three days, he’ll come visit you.

• It’s always a gamble with you. You either let him in graciously, or simply act like he’s not there.

• When you would let him in, he would bring snacks and DVDs of your favorite movies.

• Most of the time, you two would huddle under a blanket and watch those DVDs for hours.

• Other times, he would beckon you to come outside. And when you obliged, you two usually had a good time exploring New York and the Hidden City.

• When you were out of your funk, you were back to being physically affectionate.

• You were always grateful for your little orange weirdo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Donnie // Plus Size

• Donnie never quite understood people’s hate for plus sized bodies, nor did he understand your misplaced desire to be skinnier.

• Your insecurities really stood out when you guys would go out or on dates.

• “We’ve been walking for a while. Are you hungry?” Donnie asked you as the two of you walked the streets of New York City.

• “I mean… are you hungry?” You asked bashfully.

• Donnie shrugged. “Not especially.”

• You shook your head. “I’m good, then.”

• It took Donnie a couple of minutes to become curious as to why you only wanted to eat when he was eating.

• “Why didn’t you want to eat?” He asked out of the blue.

• You sighed and shook your head again. “It’s nothing, Dee.”

• “No,” the purple clad turtle stopped walking, “I wanna know.”

• “Well… I dunno, it’s embarrassing.” You thought about how to formulate your words to help him understand. “When people see us eating together, they’ll just think that we’re hungry. But when I’m the only one eating…”

• Your words trailed off, and it took Donnie several seconds to finally understand what you’d meant.

• “That’s nonsense.”

• “Yeah, well, that’s how people will see us: a guy and his fatass girlfriend.”

• To say the turtle was angry at the absurdity of the world’s mentality on plus sized people was an understatement.

• He quickly took hold of your hand and pulled you back to the hotdog stand you’d just passed.

• “Two plain hotdogs, please. And some ketchup on the side.” Donnie told the vendor.

• He had really meant that he wasn’t hungry and only ended up finishing about half of the hotdog, but your comfortability meant more to him.

• After the meal, you started walking again before you took hold of Donnie’s bicep.

• “I really appreciate that, babe. I mean it.” You rested your head on his shoulder.

• The turtle leaned his head so it was on top of yours. “Anything for you.”

[rolorules]

How Rolo Rolls Special 6: I Saved You Because You're a Liar!

Warning: Monstrously long text and a stupid screenshot ahead under the cut.

August 17 is a good day to revisit Turn 19, particularly Rolo's dying scene and Lelouch's and Rolo's final dialogues (the first one being more of a monologue since Lelouch is always cut short by Rolo stopping the time). I already wrote about it in the respective regular instalments of How Rolo Rolls, which can be found here and here. However, I would like to go a little more into detail and add a few thoughts, particularly on the issue whether Rolo really believed that Lelouch was lying when he told him he hated him and had repeatedly tried to kill him.

So let's rewind to the scene where the two of them break up (in a manner of speaking). Rolo and Jeremiah had to seize Lelouch's Knightmare Frame because he had completely lost it (Lelouch, not the Knightmare). They are back at the Ikaruga, and Rolo has to half-carry Lelouch to his quarters. Lelouch is devastated, but Rolo does a REALLY poor job at reading the room. He takes his brother's presumed loss WAY too lightly, and when Jeremiah calls, he talks FAR too casually with him, dismissing Nunnally's supposed demise as "not a big deal". Ah well, only Rolos rush in where angels fear to tread. Or something like that.

This complete lack of empathy practically asks for an angry outburst on Lelouch's part, and all his pent-up anger and resentment about Rolo taking Nunnally's place (in different ways) comes to the fore. Lelouch spits it in Rolo's face, aiming at maximum emotional devastation (even stylistically: "I hate you, I loathe you, I despise you." climactic enumeration), and he is extremely successful. Rolo may have suspected something, but his shocked face reveals that he did not expect THAT. This row is really ugly, but, as I wrote before probably a necessary step in their relationship.

Right now, they are both hurting. Take a look at the scenes at 10:37 and 10:42, how lonely and forlorn they both look. Rolo looks at the Locket, and it is safe to assume that he is reassessing his and Lelouch's relationship, first and foremost asking himself whether he should leave Lelouch and go away. Approaching him and trying to reconcile would have been difficult, but the need to save Lelouch facilitates things in a way.

The episode is called "Betrayal", it's a story of estrangement on various levels, between Lelouch and the Black Knights (who betray him) and between Lelouch and Rolo (who remains loyal). When they confront him, Lelouch chooses not to explain himself but to be defiant. He does this to protect Kallen, but maybe also out of false pride. Why does he tell the Black Knights that he had only used them (like Rolo) and that they were only pawns in his game? Yes, he did not reveal his true identity to them and he clearly had his own agenda, but it was not just a game for him, and his goals more or less aligned with those of the Black Knights. So this seems like false bravado to me.

Anyway, Rolo comes to the rescue, and off they go. Lelouch tries to convince Rolo that saving him is a bad idea, but his appeal is permanently interrupted by Rolo's time-stopping Geass. In total, it goes like this:

"Stop it, Rolo. You've done enough. - Rolo, I have no reason to live anymore. - Using your Geass over such a large area! Rolo, it's way too much. Your heart can't take so much strain. - That's enough, Rolo, I don't want to live anymore. - Don't do... this, Rolo. Why are you still trying... to save me? You know that I... I was only usi... using you. Rolo!!! - No, stop using your Geass like that. Do you want to die?"

All in all, this is a somewhat disturbing mix of Lelouch having lost his will to live and being worried about Rolo. (The last question is probably meant to be rhetorical, but is it really? Did Rolo intend this to be a suicide mission?)

In his reply (which Lelouch can't hear), Rolo tentatively acknowledges that Lelouch has been using him, but his rationale is that despite this fact, "only the time I spent with you was real." We all know that this is not the case, much if not most of it was fake, and Rolo knows that, too. What he means is that, for the first time, he felt alive, and these experiences helped him find his own humanity. This is probably why the English dub goes for "only the time I spent with you seemed real."

(As a quick aside, the scenes that appear before Rolo's inner eye when he talks about "those memories that finally made me human" are: the two brothers riding Rivalz' bike, peeling potatoes - with Lelouch touching Rolo's hand, Rolo keeping watch by Lelouch's bedside, and finally the closet scene during the Cupid Day hunt for Lelouch, the one thing I am a hundred per cent sure Lelouch was really grateful to Rolo for doing. So Rolo enjoyed that. Figures.)

When they have finally landed, Lelouch seems to have stopped wallowing in self-pity and asks Rolo in a really gentle voice: "Rolo, why did you save me? After all I've done to you." Rolo's reply is also well known: "Because you're a liar, Big Brother." Lelouch's reaction is a kind of gasp, he really has not seen that coming. In the Japanese dub, it sounds even more like an "Eh, eh?" in the sense of "I can't believe my ears." After all, the Black Knights just tried to execute him for being exactly that.

But Rolo continues to explain that he means that Lelouch was lying when he said that he hated him and tried to kill him - but still seeks confirmation from Lelouch - and Lelouch does confirm it. Whether he really means that or just tries to comfort Rolo has been a controversial issue ever since that episode aired (and I already threw in my tuppence on it), but there is one more detail that I previously overlooked: Rolo tells Lelouch that he knows everything about him (in the English version, Spike Spencer has to say a little more to be in sync with Rolo's lip movements and fills in "I know who you really are inside your heart", once again hitting the nail on the head. Kudos to the people who made the English dub).

Anyway, to this, Lelouch replies: That's right. (Eng. dub.) Yeah. You did. (Eng. sub) そうだよ。/Sou da yo. (Jap.) In other words, he agrees with him, probably not in the sense that Rolo can never be fooled by him, in fact, Lelouch has deceived Rolo many times, but in the sense that Rolo knows what the real Lelouch is like (like the English dub implied). The interesting thing here is that Rolo is already dead, and Lelouch has no more reason or motivation to lie. In other words: he might actually be truthful about it.

But what about Rolo? Did he really believe that Lelouch was lying? On one level, I think that Rolo believed that Lelouch meant what he said. His words may have been an exaggeration because he was agonising, but they were certainly fundamentally true, as for once, there was no reason for Lelouch to mince words or dissimulate. Rolo was able to accept the idea that Lelouch had been using him, so he was probably also able to accept his resentment (he'd had his doubts all along, after all, and maybe also a guilty conscience because of Shirley). Maybe he found it a bit harder to believe that Lelouch had tried to kill him repeatedly, as he had claimed, but that's not true anyway, at least to my knowledge. Lelouch made preparations once to blow up Rolo in the Vincent, but he did not carry out his plan. And that was that. (I'm taking this too lightly, too. Killing is just too common in this world.)

However, Rolo probably also assumed, even knew, that this was not the whole truth and that deep down, Lelouch liked and cared about him. And to all we know, he was not wrong. Should he have been more nuanced and talked things over with Lelouch? Not in this situation. He was running out of time, and his priority was to reconcile with his big brother before the end. He was able to do that, so this is fine.

I've had this lying around for ages. Finally the time has come to use it. It looks tragic and funny at the same time.

[kaisers-house-of-desires]

I FIGURED OUT THE THING-

Anyways, may I request a Draken x skateboarder male reader? Specifically a fluff fic please!

I do hope you enjoy~!

Title: Drinks for Two

Characters: Draken x Skateboarder!m!Reader

Contains: fluff <3

Fandom: Tokyo Revengers

Full request below the cut

All characters are 18+

MINORS, FEM ALIGNED, AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS DNI (This may not be smut, but I still want the above to be followed)

Reblogs > likes

"Yo! Kenny~!"

Rolling up to Draken, who was sitting on a park bench with his phone, you slowly looped around him, maintaining perfect balance on your skateboard despite your hands in your pockets as you faced him with a dopey grin. You had to turn forward to gently kick up for speed, but you kept the trick going. "Fancy seeing you here~"

"I texted you," Draken chuckled, sliding his phone away as he carefully watched your dizzying trick. "You even responded to it."

"Oohhh right!" You stopped your board, taking your phone out as if you genuinely forgot. "I did!"

With a huffed chuckle, Draken stood up, hands in his pockets as you stopped in front of him on your board. "So, ready to go?"

You stepped off your board, kicking it up into your hand as you confirmed. "All set!"

---

The coffee shop was bustling, but that didn't stop you two from getting your coffees and sitting outside in the spring weather. The two of you discussed different things, from Draken informing you of how Mikey has been, to you telling of a dream where your favorite fictional character stole your cup ramen while you weren't looking.

The two of you had been quite busy since your last date, with Draken helping Mikey with the gang and you focused on your college studies, you two had at least agreed to put time aside today to have a lunch date starting with coffee.

"So how are those studies?" Draken asked, sipping his slightly sweetend beverage.

After taking a sip of your drink, you groaned, sitting back in your seat. "I have an assignment due online in a couple days, but I swear that teacher didn't cover any of those questions in class! He gave us one formula to use, but the assignment has something else completely!"

Draken chuckled, looking over at you with a smile. "Can't you just search those questions? I heard there's websites that the teachers actually rip from."

It was like you were given the grace of God herself, sitting up faster than you slouched back. "You're kidding..."

"Nope. I've heard if you put the question into a search engine, usually the first two results or so should take you to a site where the whole assignment is. They should have the answers on them, and some should show the work so you should be able to copy from that if you really need to."

Dramtically, you placed your torso on the table arms extended as if you were bowing, careful to avoid your coffee. "I owe you my education." Draken couldn't help but rest a hand on his chin, propping himself up on his elbow as he gazed down at you with such admiration. When he didn't say anything, you slowly sat up, feeling a bit awkward from his gaze. "Wh-What are you looking at?"

"I'm looking at this adorable, one brain cell having guy before me," he replied.

Feeling a blush creep up on your face, you furrowed your brows, hiding your face behind a sleeve as you gazed away. "Sh-Shut up. You don't mean that..."

"That you have one braincell?"

"That...I'm adorable." Let's be real, you never really minded his playfully teasing nicknames for you. It was whenever he complimented you that felt like a lie.

"Okay, then not adorable. But...you're so cool, so badass. I mean, look at you." At this point, you were fiddling with the hem of your beanie, eyes darting back and forth between him and at something nondescript in the distance. "You have this style that's just...wow. And your skating tricks? Down right incredible. How on earth did I get so lucky to snag someone as cool as you?"

This praise was just too much but...you weren't complaining either. You had to admit, that despite your feelings whenever he called you "adorable", you always felt this sense of pride when he complimented other aspects of you. Though this was almost like an overload but in a good way.

You tugged your beanie down in front of you, mostly to hide the red that was trying to spread on your face. "H-Hey! Isn't the sushi place opening soon?! W-We should get going s-so we can get a good seat."

Draken chuckled as he finished off his coffee, tossing it into the nearby trashcan from where he sat before standing and heading off. "Yeah, c'mon, you tomato."

"I-I'm not a tomato!" you argued, quickly following him before dropping your board to the ground and hopping on it, rolling past him with a shit eating grin that read "race ya!"

[ghost-of-you]

we just danced backwards into each other - ch - part 9

Paring: Calum Hood x Original Female Character.

Warnings: Swearing, mildly angsty vibes, implied and referenced sexual activities

Word Count: 6.8k

Authors note: me walking in after over a year like nothing happened, have a chapter 💜

Read it on AO3

Part 8

Masterlist

______

"So Lena did you hear the rumors about you and a certain bassist?" The interviewer asks, and Lena chuckles ducking her head. 

"I've been hearing them since we were teenagers."

"So you got nothing to say, you two seem to be spending a lot of time together recently," she pushes and Lena shrugs, adjusting the headphones. 

"Well, this is the first time in a few years we're in the same place at the same time for a longer period of time, so…"

"So there's nothing there? Oh, she's blushing."

"He's awesome, but we've just been working on some things." 

"You two seem cozy, you sure it's just work?"

"He’s like, my favorite person on the planet, we’ve been friends for over half my life, and with the song coming out and me about to go on the road with 5sos again, we keep ending up in the same place."

"How did the song come to be?"

"I had the idea of it but I also had a feeling there was something missing on it, and Calum heard it and he had ideas and we sat down one night and it just came together," Lena says the rehearsed answer that was just close enough to the truth it didn’t feel like a lie. 

"And him staying in it?"

"I knew that song had to be a duet from the beginning and the song wouldn’t exist without him, so it made sense."

"And it was the first time you did something together right?"

"Yeah, and it's weird considering how long we've known each other and how long we've both been writing, and writing with him was such a great experience, he's so incredibly talented and it was one of the best writing sessions I've ever had."

"And you're still not addressing the dating rumors? 'Cause it's hard to believe nothing is happening after watching that music video."

The music video had ended up being a compilation of them on the studio recording the song, and as much as Lena hated to admit it, the edition really did give a new intensity to the way they looked together.

"I mean, it’s an intense song and we’re really comfortable with each other."  

"You know, 5sos was here earlier in the week, and Calum called you his girl," she says and Lena tilts her head, trying to school her expression. 

"He did?" 

"We were talking about how hard it must be to go on tour with your significant other staying behind, with Michael’s engagement, and Calum said he didn’t have to worry this time because his girl was going with them."

"Hard to follow that one up."

"You did say he’s your favorite person," she points out and Lena shrugs. 

"So he has to follow that one up then."

***

Lena misses Calum. That's not exactly the problem. Missing him has been a constant in her life for years now, it's second nature. The problem is that she just can't seem to find a way to see him. They text. She tries to make plans. Their schedules don't even seem to align enough for her to call. She hasn't seen him since the fight and she is seconds away from just marching into his place and staying there until she can see him. More than once she caught herself looking at plane tickets. At this point, she'll take anything that will end with her finally getting the image of the look on his face when he walked away from her out of her head. 

Not that it matters much what she wants considering the way his schedule seems so unbelievably full lately, she wasn't even sure that being in the same city would mean she would get time with him. 

That’s until she gets the call that they were supposed to make an appearance together. She was happy enough about it to even forget to be annoyed by the whole using their relationship for publicity part of it all. Even if she’s biting her nails as drives over to pick him up from the studio and as she moves through the building in a haze as she feels the magnetic pull of him she suddenly doesn’t have the energy to fight anymore. 

"You ready?" Lena asks, tone too casual for how anxious she’s feeling, leaning against the doorway.

"Almost," Calum nods, before turning to her, holding a piece of black fabric, "you think you could wear this?" He asks, offering it to her, and she takes it, eyeing him curiously, before looking at the sweatshirt in her hands. It’s simple, just saying "Friends of Friends" in the sleeves, a triangle design in the front, and a circle one in the back. 

"Is this about that charity thing you guys are doing?" She asks, handing him the sweatshirt back so she could take her hoodie off.

"You know about it?" He asks as she takes it back and pulls it over her head.

"Yeah, Sylvia talked to me about it earlier, she thought I was gonna freak after the tour meeting, but that’s just cool, I’m so in, I wanna do the Sydney one too if you guys end up needing more people," she shrugs, looking down at herself, "this is pretty, can I keep it?" 

"It’s yours," he says with a smile before moving away from her again to gather his things. 

"Thank you, so we’re matching then?" She chuckles, noticing his hoodie had the same logo as her sleeves.

"Two birds, one stone," he shrugs without looking at her. 

"I like it, it makes me feel better about this."

"About going out with me?"

"About going out to get photographed, I’m already used to rest by now," she amends and he steps closer to her, and the way he’s looking at her suddenly makes her feel shy, "hi," she mumbles, looking up at him and his expression softens as smile creeps up his face.

"Just come here," he pulls her to him, and she sighs as she hides her face on his neck, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Are we okay?"

"We’re okay," he assures her, squeezing her closer to him, "I missed you."

"Yeah," she nods, breathing him in, before stepping back, "we should go through." "Yeah," he agrees offering her his hand, "let’s go."

________

"I have nothing to worry about, right?" A high-pitched voice comes from behind Lena as she leans against the bar, making her head snap back to the source, finding Hayley staring her down.

"Nothing happened while you were together," Lena steps back, fighting the urge to add nothing happened at all, looking around herself, trying to find a way to get out before the situation escalated because she’s definitely too drunk to handle whatever is about to unfold.

"He broke up with me because of you," she's staring Lena down and she continues to step back.

"You made him choose, whatever went down after it's not on me," she defends herself but the other girl shakes her head, staring at her in disbelief.

"You’re all over him now and I’m supposed to believe that you didn't tell him—" Hayley continues and Lena shakes her head, trying to talk over her, still moving backward.

"I didn't—"

"Hayles, that's enough," Lena as she hits something at the same time a familiar voice came from behind her, and she turns to Ashton, at the same time he steps forward, seeming like he wants to put himself between the two women, "don’t make a scene."

"I’m not making a scene, I need to know," Hayley says and Ashton steps in front of Lena.

"That’s between you and Calum, leave her out of it."

"But he dumped me because of her."

"You made him choose, it is not my fault you don't like the choice he made," Lena says, leaning to the side, and Ashton turns to her, very clearly saying you’re not helping. "Lena."

"I’m sorry, okay, but I didn’t tell him to do anything, and they were broken up for weeks before we even talked about it."

"That’s not the point," Hayley complains and Lena rolls her eyes.

"What is it then?"

"He—"

"Cal’s a big boy, he can decide stuff really well without consulting with me first."

"Lena," Ashton chastises again and she pouts at him.

"She started it."

"How about you end it?" He says, calling someone over while she continues to pout at him. 

"Come on, Le," Andy’s voice comes from behind her, arm going around her waist and tugging her with him before she can fight him on it.

Lena was extremely aware there was no hiding the purple marks on her neck and cleavage. At least not with anything she had handy. She hated turtlenecks so she didn’t pack one and she didn’t expect anyone to knock on her door so the shirt she had on was doing nothing to hide them. If she decided to be honest with herself, she put the tank top on because the hickeys were proof it had actually happened. That Calum’s lips had been all over her body. But as Andy walked into her room she wished she had something other than her hair to hide them. She didn’t want to talk about it. 

"You are not gonna believe-" he started, sounding excited before stopping in his tracks, doing a double take on her, looking her up and down while stepping closer to her, "is that?" He trailed off, moving her hair away while starting to laugh, "Jesus, who did you fuck? A vampire?" 

"Hilarious," she rolled her eyes, but her cheeks were starting to heat up as she moved her hands to her neck in a pointless attempt to hide the bruises from his eyes.

"Wait, weren't you hanging with Hood last night?" He frowned at her, looking confused, and she nodded.

"Yeah," she mumbled, ducking her head to try and hide the undeniable flush on her face from him.

"Did you go out? How did you?" He asked, and she cringed as his eyes widened at her, face changing from confusion to realization as his jaw dropped, "holy shit, he did that?"

"Yeah," she sighed, dropping into the bed.

"Are you together now?" He asked, clearly not understanding how she was acting.

"Nope," she said, staring at the ceiling and he sat down next to her.

"Can you give me answers with more than one word in them?" His tone was laced with sarcasm and that made her laugh, sitting up so she could look at him.

"No vampires involved, we just hooked up, we are not together," she explained and he stared at her, looking skeptical.

"You ‘just hooked up’," he air-quoted her, making her groan, "with the guy you’ve been in love with since you were a child?"

"I did, yeah," she nodded and he gave her a disbelief look.

"You can't just hook up with someone you've been in love with since you were a child."

"Why not?" she said, pressing her lips together.

"Le, please tell me you’re not this stupid."

"What?""You fucked him. No strings attached?" He asked, still looking at her like she was crazy.

"It’s not a big deal."

"Lena." 

"Stop looking at me like that, I knew what I was doing, and trust me, it was so worth it," she chuckled and the disbelief in his eyes changed to worry. "What now?"

"It’s just, he’s gonna hurt you, Le."

"You can’t possibly know that." 

"Oh, I can, and I don’t wanna see you hurt over some dude that's not all the way in," Andy said and Lena groaned.

"He’s not some dude, and besides—"

"Oh, he’s not, that's why I’m worried," he said over her.

"—Calum would never hurt me."

"Just stay here, okay? Don't move," Andy says, handing her a water bottle and she mock-salutes him, giggling while she nods.

"Yes, sir," she says, making him shake his head, a smile on his face, before moving out the door, closing it behind himself leaving her alone. 

The world is spinning a bit as Lena looks around the dressing room trying to figure out how to distract herself since he took her phone, trying to remember if she brought the book she was reading while looking for her backpack, spotting it on a corner and moving to sit on the floor next to it.

She's lost in thoughts flipping through the notepad she keeps in the front pocket, so she doesn't hear when the door opens and closes and the footsteps approaching her.

"Lena?" Calum's voice comes from behind her and she throws her head back to look up at him.

"Hey, baby!" She greets, dragging the words, her head following his movement as he sits next to her.

"Why are you on the floor?" He asks, as she turns to him and she shrugs.

"Got bored on the couch, Andy said to stay here, so I'm staying," she says, throwing the notepad back into the backpack.

"Are you okay?" He's watching her carefully and she sighs.

"I'm fine," she says, voice sounding slurry, "I'm just drunk," she giggles, running a hand through her hair, twisting a strand between her fingers, before she drops her hands to her lap, "I shouldn't have drink this much, the room is spinning," she giggles, making a spinning motion with her hands.

"What happened? Ash told me to come find you." 

"Your ex thinks I made you break up with her, and I don't have a defense, because you did break up with her because I ran," she looks up at him, biting her bottom lip and letting out a chuckle, "but I actually send you back to her and that's making me think about Tay," she presses her lips together and he frowns at her.

"Why is my ex making you think of yours?" Calum asks and she ducks her head.

"That's right, I didn't tell you," she says, fidgeting with her bracelet, staring at her knees so she wouldn't have to look at him.

"Tell me what?" 

"She broke up with me because of you," she mumbles, scratching her forehead, still avoiding his eyes while she feels them studying her.

"What?" He asks, voice soft and confused and she sighs, glancing at him

"I mean, I was already on thin ice when it came to you then she accused me of prioritizing you and then said I had to choose," she explains, pressing her lips together, sitting up straighter, "I don't do ultimatums," she shrugs and his expression softens.

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Because she was right, I would choose you if it came down to it and that wasn't fair so, it was the right thing to do," she shrugs, picking at the hem of her skirt, "and I didn't want to bring up my feelings, we both know that goes," she chuckles, watching his face.

"I'm sorry," he says, tilting his head, brown eyes looking so warm she wants to lose herself in them.

"It's not your fault," she chuckles, leaning her elbow on her knee, and propping her chin on her hand.

"It kinda is," he says, moving a piece of her hair away from her face and she shrugs noncommittally, "What happened that made her think that? We had kissed once when you were together, it was not like—"

"You called me," she interrupts him and he raises an eyebrow at her.

"I need a lot more words."

"You remember that one time you were back home and I drove up to see you for a few days?" She asks and he nods.

"Yeah."

"Well, she didn't like that, not that I blame her, and I don't think she believed me when I said that it wasn't like that with us and, well, she was already on edge about you and I was with her and you called, actually you texted asking if I could talk and called before I could answer, so I left so I could talk to you, that led to a huge fight and we broke up."

"Why did you leave?"

"I got worried, you didn’t call unless we set something up, you know, international rockstar, full-time student," she shrugs, pointing between them, "different time zones, it was hard to line shit up, so I had to answer, and we talked for like, half an hour, you clearly needed me. I don't even remember what you and I talked about, all I remember is how much she yelled at me over it and thinking that if we were at that point, there was no going back, you know?"

"That’s—" Calum tries but trails off and she presses her lips together. "Like I said, she was right, I just hadn’t realized how right until she pointed it out, I thought I was—" Lena cuts herself and he frowns at her.

"What?" He asks and she sighs.

"That was the deal, right? it didn’t happen, move on, lapse of judgment, yay friendship and all that."

"I think we are past that, love."

"We weren’t thought, and I didn’t want to explain it to you and have you freak out again, and then too much time had passed, no point in bringing it up," she says, chewing on her bottom lip while Calum studies her face. 

"Did you think about choosing me?" She asks suddenly, making him frown. She isn't sure she wants the answer but she'd been dying to ask.

"What?"

"When she said she didn't want you around me, did you think about choosing me?" She explains, watching him carefully as he understands what she wants to know, and waiting as he seems to contemplate her question, lips twisting as he thinks.

"I did," he finally says, holding her gaze and she nods. 

"Okay."

"Okay? You don't wanna know more?" He chuckles a bit awkwardly, and she shakes her head.

"There's more to know? You chose her," she shrugs, and his expression drops.

"Lena," he starts, but she shakes her head, one hand reaching for his cheek, gently stroking it.

"It's okay, I'm not trying to start something, I was just curious," she says, dropping her hand, patting his knee, and smiling when he takes her hand, "I think it's funny, by convincing herself that there's was still something between us, she kickstarted this whole thing, she handed you over," she chuckles and he gives her an unimpressed look, but she can tell he's holding back a grin.

"You know I can think for myself, right?" He asks and she nods.

"But if I hadn't left, well," she motions dramatically around herself, nearly knocking the water bottle by her side, "It's no wonder we're this dysfunctional now, we’re quite a pair, you shut down, I run away," she picks the bottle up, sipping on it, "but I don't like running from you," she adds, pursing her lips and he chuckles softly.

"You sure you don't like it? 'cause you do it a lot," Calum teases and she shrugs, scrunching her nose.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all deep and personal," she says, standing up and moving back to the couch, Calum sitting beside her, throwing his arm on the rest behind her.

"You can talk to me," he says, looking at her and she sighs.

"I don't wanna start a fight or make you feel bad."

"You keeping things from me doesn't help our situation either," he says and she raises an eyebrow at him.

"It goes both ways, babe, don't act like you tell me everything."

"What do you wanna know?"

"I don't know, what do I wanna know?" 

"How should I know?" Calum laughs and she rolls her eyes.

"You don’t make it easy for me."

"Exactly," he nods making her laugh. 

"Wait, did—actually never mind."

"What is it?"

"I don't wanna know."

"You sure?"

"I mean, I probably am not gonna remember this in the morning anyway." 

"Then ask," Calum says and she looks at him for a few seconds before talking. 

"Did you ever wish you stopped?"

"Stopped what?"

"That first time, you said we were about to cross a line and I asked if you wanted to stop, did you ever wish you said yes?"

"What? No," Calum shakes his head, sitting up straighter, "Did you?"

"Nah, I think it was bound to happen eventually anyway, I was just wondering if you ever regretted it."

"I only regret how I insisted it didn't change anything, I could never regret us," he says, sounding serious enough and Lena tilts her head to the side, studying his face.

"Why did you?"

"Admitting it would make it real, I don't think I was ready for that," he says and she sighs.

"You weren't, I knew that and I did it anyway 'cause I wanted to know what it would be like, and sometimes I wonder if I pushed you, 'cause like I was half-naked on top of you, I didn't exactly make it easy for you to walk away if you wanted and, well, it was good so it kept happening and I knew it was gonna blow up in our faces but you made it so easy to pretend that you actually wanted to be with me and—"

"You didn't push me, believe me I wasn't pretending to want you," he interrupts her and she nods.

"You just didn't feel the way I do."

"The way you do?"

"I don’t think I know how to not be in love with you."

"Do you regret it?" He asks and she actually stops to think about it for a few seconds. 

"I don't like how things ended, I hate it actually, but I don't regret it happening."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it makes for great writing material," she jokes and he chuckles.

"That’s fair," Calum says and she leans her head back against the arm he has behind her on the rest.

"You’re really pretty," she mumbles, almost thinking out loud, because he looks good, he always looks good, but that makes him laugh.

"I thought you were mad I shaved my head," he says, running a hand across his head and she pouts.

"Don't remind me, but you’re always pretty, it’s a problem."

"You’re really drunk aren’t you?" He sounds so unbelievably fond as he smiles at her, it's hard for her not to melt further into him.

"I told you that when you came in, I’m a very self-conscious drunk."

"You just have no filter."

"I know, why do you think I was so careful with how much I used to drink around you back when we were on tour?" "What do you mean?"

"You really need me to say that I spent the whole time we were hooking up stopping myself from blurting out my feelings?" 

"That bad?"

"Oh yeah, honey," Lena giggles and Calum's face goes serious all of a sudden.

"I get the feeling."

"No, you don’t," she shakes her head and he raises an eyebrow at her, looking unimpressed.

"You remember this one party, you were wearing that blue dress."

The rational side of Lena's brain knew she didn't have any right to be jealous. But her rational side had no control over her anymore. There she was in the stupid dress she only bought because Calum liked it watching some random girl flirting with him so blatantly it made Lena roll her eyes. The way the blonde was running her hands up and down his arms or twirling her hair between her fingers as she talked to him and the way he was clearly enjoying it made her blood boil. 

And the worst part is that she knew it was irrational. She couldn't demand anything. "Friends. Just friends. No matter what happened. Or how frequently. Friends. Just friends." She kept repeating it to herself like a mantra, trying to stop herself from getting worked up, clutching a beer bottle so tightly that on any other occasion, she'd be worried it would break. Until she had enough. She looked hot, the navy blue dress, a bit shorter than what she would usually go for stopping barely at her mid-thigh, hugged every curve of her body perfectly. She felt good after she finished getting ready and she wasn't about to let Calum and the complete lack of reaction on his part ruin her night. 

So she ditched her bottle, walked to the dance floor, and moved to the beat, trying to think only about the rhythm and it was not long until someone approached her, some guy she was definitely not interested in, but who was cute enough for her to entertain while he danced closer to her.

"Lena, come with me," Calum's voice came suddenly from beside her, and he grabbed her hand, dragging her along with him, barely giving her enough time to murmur an excuse me before she was being dragged away.

"What are you doing?" Lena complained, following him as he moved them through the people and up the stairs and suddenly he was pushing a door open, dragging her inside it and locking the door of the bathroom they had just entered.

"What I'm doing? What were you doing?" He asked, giving her an unimpressed look and she huffed, moving away from him.

"I was dancing?" She rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall and he shook his head.

"You call that dancing?" He asked, moving closer to her and she raised an eyebrow at him, pushing herself off the wall.

"What? Are you jealous? Was blondie not as interesting as you hoped?" She mocked, looking up at him and mimicking the way the girl had been twirling the ends of her hair at him, making him groan in frustration.

"Very mature."

"What? You can hit on a random girl all night but the second I start dancing with someone you go all caveman on me?" She asked, staring him down.

"I wasn't hitting on her," he denied and she huffed again.

"Sure you weren't," she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Are you jealous?" He asked, a smirk starting to form in the corner of his lips and she groaned, shaking her head.

"Of course not, you can hit on whoever the fuck you want," she scoffed, moving around him to get to the door, "but you don't get to be mad if I do the same," she challenged, voice coming out louder than she expected as she stopped by the door, "I sure as fuck wasn't about to waste the effort I put into this stupid outfit just watching some girl pawing all over you," Lena mumbled, unlocking the door, but Calum reached around her, locking it again, her breath hitching when she turned to look at him.

"We're talking here, love, you're not walking out," he said, leaning an arm behind her, trapping her between him and the door.

"I was flirting, you were flirting, what's more to talk about?" She asked, looking up at him, trying to ignore all the effects having him this close had on her body.

"You're this worked up, so there's definitely something to talk about." He was pressing closer to her, and she wasn't sure if he was doing it on purpose but it was getting harder to ignore how turned on she was at that moment.

"You drag me into a bathroom in the middle of a party and I'm the one who's worked up?" She raised an eyebrow at him and he shook his head.

"That's beside the point."

"What is the point exactly? Besides annoying me?"

"Why are you annoyed?"

"Because you're really annoying when you want to be, sweetheart," she complained with a sigh, leaning more heavily against the door.

"Are you sure you're not just jealous?"

"I'm not the one who dragged you away from someone," she said, tracing her hand over his arm. 

"You're in the shortest dress you could find and you want me to watch you with some dude?" His fingers danced across the rem of her skirt, lightly brushing her thighs.

"Blondie was keeping you busy," she shrugged, ducking under his arm to step out of where he had her pinned, and he followed her movements, watching as she smoothed her hands over the dress, before groaning up to the ceiling and running her hands through her hair, directing all of it to her back, and his eyes darkened scanning her body and she had to fight back a smirk, "didn't think you would mind if I let someone else get a taste."

"You wouldn't," he shook his head, moving closer to her.

"I wouldn't what?"

"Let someone else get a taste, you put this dress on for me, we both know it," he explained, stopping just inches away from her, fingers tracing along the thin straps over her shoulder.

"Well, you were busy," she shrugged, "and I was bored," moving around him again, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her from moving too far.

"God, you're so," he started, pupils blown wide, the way he was looking at her sending chills up her spine.

"I'm what?" She challenged, looking up at him, pulling her arm from his hold, but stepping closer to him, hands reaching to fix the collar of his jacket, smoothing her hands over his shoulder, watching as his gaze dropped to her lips, "look, baby, if you want something you just gotta—" she started, trailing her fingers down his biceps, but she didn't get to finish her thought before he let out a groan and crashed his lips to hers, his hands gripping her waist to pull her closer to him at the same time he moved her backward, pinning her against the wall, his tongue exploring her mouth as his hands seemed determined to touch every inch of her body and she was matching his energy, pulling at his hair, nibbling on his lips, letting her hands dip under the collar of his shirt to drag her nails along his neck. 

"Vividly," she offers with a giggle before he can finish his thought, and he raises an eyebrow at her, a smirk on his lips that makes her roll her eyes, "get your mind out the gutter, Hood, you really think I would forget the only time you were jealous of me?"

"That wasn't the only," he starts, but stops himself, making her eye him curiously.

"Are you admitting you were jealous?" 

"You're the one who was jealous," he retorts and she laughs.

"Of course I was, insecure was my default setting." 

"Do you still have that dress?" 

"I think it's somewhere in my closet, but the dress is not the point you're trying to make here, is it? Attraction was never our issue."

"We talked after," Calum says and she nods.

"Yeah, we established we were only sleeping with each other, something I thought was counterproductive ‘cause when would we be finding other people? We were together all the time, we always ended up in the same hotel room and you kept trying to sneak me into your bunk."

"Getting you on our bus was less hassle than me staying on yours."

"'cause I wasn't the flight risk, which is ironic now."

"And I sleep better with you," he shrugs and she narrows her eyes at him.

"Sleep, sure."

"You make it sound like sex was all we did."

"It did happen a lot." "But it wasn't just sex, it never was," he argues, moving so he can face her properly and she shakes her head, looking away from him.

"We’re getting deep and personal again." "We need to talk about it." "But it's done, Cal, we can't change that, it is what it is, and it was what it was, and it was just sex," she says, looking back at him but he shakes his head. 

"But it wasn't, that party, you had this smile on your face and you were wearing my jacket and I kept thinking about how easy it could be, to just be yours, it was why I told you there was no one else because I didn't want anyone else."

"Love?" Calum's voice was soft as his fingers gently combed through her hair, slotting himself between her legs again, and she hummed in acknowledgment, still trying to catch her breath, "still with me?" He checked and she opened her eyes, finding him studying her carefully.

"I just need a minute, that was," she paused, trying to think of the right word, "fuck, that was intense," she giggled, leaning against his touch when his hand moved to her cheek, and he chuckled.

"Intense?" He raised an eyebrow at her and she rolled her eyes.

"You really need me to stroke your ego right now? Is the state I'm in not enough?" She motioned vaguely to herself and he took her hands, stepping back, pursing his lips as he made a dramatic show of scanning her that made her giggle.

"You do look wrecked," he agreed, stepping back closer to her, placing her hands on his shoulders, and dropping his to her thighs.

"Great, it's not like I need to walk out of here looking presentable," she laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck, "is it really that bad?"

"Well, now that you stopped panting," he joked and she playfully slapped his chest.

"Fuck you," she pouted and he smirked at her.

"We already did that," he laughed, making her groan.

"Oh my god," she rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but smile as he leaned down, giving her lips a quick peck.

"It's not that bad," he said, smoothing his hands over her hair, making her laugh, before cupping her cheeks and kissing her, more gently than he had all night, making her stomach flip as she melted into him.

"Great," she giggled, taking his hands, "help me down," she asked and he stepped back as she jumped off the counter, steadying her when she stood straight before she let go of his hands, turning to the mirror behind her. It definitely wasn't as bad as she expected, her makeup was still in place and her hair was fixable, the only big problem was the marks on her collarbone that were already turning purple, "really?" She complained, glancing at him while her fingers traced the marks and he chuckled.

"Is not my fault you bruise this easily," he said, sheepishly, and she leaned forward to get closer to the mirror, wiping the corner of her eyes and combing her fingers through her hair, smoothing it around her head and directing it forward trying to cover the hickeys without seeming too obvious and she could feel him watching her.

"I think that if we don't stay much longer I can get away without anyone thinking I was fucked in the bathroom," she joked, smoothing her dress, and turning to him, "what do you think?" 

"I think you're right," he agreed, stepping closer to her and she smiled up at him, "but still," he shrugged his jacket off, and placed it around her shoulders.

"Thanks," she said, pulling her arms through the sleeves, and folding them up so she could use her hands.

"Lena," he started and she looked up at him.

"Yeah?" 

"I haven't slept with anyone else either," he scratched the back of his neck, "since we started doing this," he adjusted the collar of the jacket for her while she studied his face. He looked almost nervous and that made her stomach flip, a smile fighting its way to her face, as his hands moved her hair, "I just thought I should mention it… since we were fighting and you said I wouldn't mind if you got with someone else and I—" he mumbled, his fingers twisting the ends of her hair and she cut him.

"Sweetheart, I'm not planning on sleeping with anyone else," she said, fighting the urge to add fuck, say you want to be with me for real I'll never look at anyone else again because it wasn't like she had any interest in being with someone else. Not if she could be with him. 

"Great, I wouldn't… I wasn't either," he said, face softening and she smiled up at him.

"Okay," she nodded, standing on her tiptoes, cupping his cheeks and kissing him, his hands resting on her waist, "we really should get out of here though," she giggles, nodding her head to the door.

"In a minute," he said, leaning in to kiss her again, her arms wrapping around his neck while his hands pulled her closer, "you wanna go back to the hotel now?" 

"Let's go," she nodded, pulling away from him. He looked like he wanted to say something else and she eyed him curiously but he seemed to decide against it, taking her hand and unlocking the door.

"I hate that I actually convinced you that it was just about the sex for me, there was always this moment, right before we fell asleep, that I would pull you closer and you would make this happy little sound and settle against me, and for a while, nothing else mattered, not shitty interviews or bad reviews or how fucking exhausting that tour was."

"I had had that thought before," she mumbles, chewing on her bottom lip and he frowns at her. 

"What thought?"

"I had wondered if you were only with me because I was there, proximity, familiarity, whatever, it's why I believed you, I had thought about it, you just confirmed it," she explains, watching his face turn to something close to devastation before sighing and adding, "and for me, it was the mornings when you were still half asleep pulling me back when I tried to move, and for a few seconds I could let myself pretend you loved me."

"I did," he starts but stops, shaking his head as he does, like that wasn't what he wants to say, and taking a deep breath, "I do love you, Lena," he finally says, firmly, gaze locked on hers, but she must've look unconvinced, because he adds, "me being an idiot doesn't change how I feel. I was scared because it was you and you were my best friend and things were so easy but they were also so fragile and I didn't want to be the one that got left, so I just gave up."

"Why are you telling me this?" Lena asks, and he gives her a sad smile, running his knuckles along her jaw.

"Because you won't remember it in the morning."

"And if I do?"

"It will still be true, and you will have listened to it without slamming a door in my face."

"I only tried to slam a door in your face once," she complains and he chuckles, but his face is serious again after a few seconds.

"Do you believe me?" 

"I don't know, this is hard, you know? With everything that happened, I… I don't know what to think, and you stopped saying it," she tries to explain but that just makes Calum frown.

"Saying what?" 

"That you loved me. When we started sleeping together, you stopped saying it."

"Because—"

"Because it would mean more than it did before it all happened, I know," she interrupts, dropping her hand to his knee when he continues to frown, "it's why I stopped saying it too. You do understand how this is for me, right? You loved me, but not enough to fight for me, I didn't hear that for years and then you dropped that on me after I left you on a literal storm and I don't know if this is about me—"

"Or me just wanting you to be there, I get it, if you start thinking about it, you circle back to what I said," he nods, pressing his lips together and she sighs.

"Yeah." 

"That's what freaked you out that day." 

It's not a question, but she nods anything, and that just makes him look sad.

"You want me to go find Andy for you?" He offers, and it takes her by surprise.

"No."

"You want me to leave?"

"No." 

"What do you want?"

"I'm too drunk to trust my own judgment," she says, leaning into him, reaching for his arm on the seat behind her and placing it around her shoulders, making him chuckle and pull her closer to him. She adjusts against him, placing her legs across his lap, hiding her face on his neck, and letting out a sigh as she breathes him in and he rests his other arm on her knees.

"Cal?" She mumbles as she closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his skin under her cheek, and he hums in acknowledgment, wrapping his arms around her, "don't give up on me just yet," she says, her lips grazing his neck, and his arms tighten around her.

"Not planning on it, love."

[thecoramaria]

How to insert images into ao3 in the notes?

Thanks for your ask! I know this can be incredibly frustrating, so here is my method:

Upload your image onto the Internet Archive: Since AO3 doesn't host images itself, you'll need to host it elsewhere, and ensure it's the kind of place that won't delete content or cause your link to break. That's why I use archive.org, because like AO3, it values preservation and runs off of donations (which you should totally contribute to if you can).

In your notes, paste this HTML code: <p><img src="[IMAGE LINK]" alt="[ALT TEXT]" width="1200" height="600" align="center" /></p>

Get the right image link: Alright, this is the part that I always get tripped up on and takes me forever to figure out. You cannot trust any embed text the Internet Archive gives you; it won't work! You also can't just use the link from the page for your item. What you have to do is right click on the item and open the image in a new tab, and then use that link. It should look something like this, as the percentages in there gives it away: https://archive.org/download/tli-part-iii-banner-for-ao3/TLI%20Part%20III%20Banner%20for%20AO3.png

Fill out the blanks in the HTML: So you take that image link and paste it to replace [IMAGE LINK], then you delete [ALT TEXT] and describe your image in words. This is important because it means screen readers can tell vision-impaired readers what the image is, and also if the image does not load for whatever reason, the alt text will be displayed instead. You may also need to adjust the width and height in the HTML as well, but I've heard that part generally doesn't matter so much.

Preview your story: Before you hit post, you'll want to ensure the embed is working correctly. That's why you should preview before you post. I will warn you that AO3 does like to add random spaces and such around HTML code after you exit from preview back to editing, so watch out for those and fix them before you hit post.

If your code works, SAVE IT! Copy and paste it somewhere it will always be in reach and easy to use later. Trust me: you don't want to have to figure out how to do this all over again.

I reckon the next time I post a fic that involves an embedded image, I should record a tutorial, since it'll give you something to follow along with visually. What does everyone think?

[staghunters]

STAGHUNTERS NEOCITIES WEEE

Figured I should make a new post at this point because the other one is getting too long to keep reblogging. I've been tinkering away at the site and it is shaping up! Here's a lil page by page tour under the cut

you can view the site here!

Splash screen!

It's a little bumper so the css can load without it scrabling the home page. It looks alright, but to add some more text to the image, I have to make a new one in the death screen generator, which is not ideal.

The home page!

I've changed the middle window so it fits in better with the rest. Not very visually exciting there in terms of color, but it is for now the best look imo. Text there is aligned justified, I've condensed it a bit more and added the randomized quote section underneath it instead of it being a seperate window on the side.

To do list needs an update but is still accurate. The team is still there, but on the other side, I have set the blinkies to be a bit larger. The music player has been removed because I couldn't find a way to add songs to it that weren't included on the source site. Snufkin is here now. The webrings will need some more. Retronaut is there, but not functioning as it should. it just forwards you to random sites in the ring instead of where it should be, but I can't find what exactly I'm doing wrong with the code.

Another thing that is not working on neocities itself is the "last updated" part. For some reason it doesn't display there what it does display on my local html. Maybe a bug at neo.

And icons at the top on the nav par! Adds some more flair to the place. The footer has also received a minor update: it now has a sitemap link instead of another back-to-home url.

About!

I'm thinking of moving the small window with the short info to the right, but it is here for now. Links that are web-building related are on the right, also for my own referencing. The essentials lists on the left are hidden on load, but can be revealed by tapping the puttons. The lists are in tree-view and the window shouldn't expand over the cassette image once the construction sign is removed. Speaking of, the cassette has a lil playlist.

I might expand on the info a bit more, but that is for me to ponder. I liked including links to tumblr, the guestbook, and a button in case anyone wants to link my site on theirs.

Writing!

Hasn't really changed much. I've been looking at moving the sidebar info to be in the main section upon load, but idk if that would just make things more complicated. Right now it loads to an empty section there, stuff appears once you click a button. PDF support is only available once I'm a supporter of neocities, which i do wanna do but isn't a priority atm just for getting this part running. The links to ao3 will do just fine for now.

Journal!

The space for my rambling. It can be browsed by entry through the post-it, and all that seems to be functioning alright. Added a kitty and a sticker for decoration. The Stop Making Sense bumper sticker will now load a local video of the performance, but once again I won't be able to add this to the site until I get a supporter thing going. It plays/pauses on click, hehe.

Basement!

Decided to add a page for it. Basic info, schedule, link to the room, my letterboxd, and an overview of past movies. It's a nice spot on the site that is also the most cramped, but I like how it turned out.

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH

In case any page/url error happens, you can send a movie recommendation to B (their askbox is linked when you open on desktop)

UNDER HEAVY CONSTRUCTION

The art and other pages are very much works in progress. Art can be up and running once I upload art to the site, but I'm not sure if I want to post full pieces here. Maybe I'll make it a space for sketch stuff that I'd otherwise discard.

As for the other page: I might be filing it under the writing page as a section, since the only thing here is WvW atm. It's cool that it has it's own thing, but I'm not sure if something that is basically a fanfic warrants such a space. That, or I keep it and drop all my other-media stuff in here so there's more to look at.

That's it for now! I got some ideas on how to continue, but they're not super-duper set in stone.

[mulderscully]

do you think the bonfire scene changes the book explanation for “I can’t afford for you to fall in love with me?” As in does it change that Henry was always in love with Alex but just couldn’t have Alex falling in love with him back because it would set him on fire?

no, i don't think so. the opposite imo, it reinforces it.

i mean, sure the book and the movie are seperate at the end of the day. they're like parallel universes in a sense. same people, same relationship, some divergences here and there but the movie established that henry has had feeling for alex since the day they met as well which is what henry says in that scene:

"until he met this devastatingly handsome young peasant boy from a faraway land and said the most ghastly things to him. and made him feel truly alive for the first time in his life."

back home now and i grabbed my copy of the book where i have all the emails bookmarked like an insane person,

so the email that scene is based on is actually before texas, right after the DNC which also aligns with the movie timeline. in both universes they are already in a pretty intense romantic relationship and are pretty open about having feelings for each other, and always have had those in a way.

henry sends it at 8:22 pm on august 10th, and it's his answer for how alex managed to get henry so wrong and how someone like henry exists. i'm not gonna copy and paste the whole email cause it's long and more or less the same, but the phrasing is slightly different,

"until he met the most devastatingly handsome gorgeous peasant boy from a nearby village who said absolutely ghastly things to him that made him feel alive for the first time in years..."

in both versions of this conversation henry is talking about how alex has made him feel alive since the day that they met.

but there is also a really really big difference between quiet yearning and loving someone from afar and spending hours and hours talking, texting, emailing and making love to a person. of course henry has always loved alex to a degree but falling in love with someone who loves you in return, actually knowing that person inside and out? that's different.

that said, i do think henry knows at that point between the dnc and the lake house that alex has pretty serious feelings for him, cause they do email about that in the book and the movie which is why him vanishing is so painful for alex. i think it's more like, it actually hit him in that moment that alex was going to say it and that alex wants a life with him, you know?

and i think the visualization of alex almost saying i love you and henry throwing himself into the water is a great visualization of "if someone like that ever loved it it would set me on fire." and that line itself it a sort of admittance that alex knew all along that there was a possibility that alex could love him, and that scared him so he actively pushed him away. but he can't push alex away anymore if alex is willing to fight for him, you know?

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Noceda House Layout Huh?

Guess I'll have to do it myself.

Well- My sister @bluefireblaze (she's not active on tumblr go to Insta to check out her awesome art) helped a lot with this

This is gonna be a long post, but in the very beginning I'll show the concluded House Plan's. I'll go in depth about areas me and my sis are still confused about and why some areas we decided are certain ways.

SEASON 3 SPOILERS

I hope this helps at least SOME fanfiction writers and/or fanartists. Rip to me and other's that wrote the layout differently in their head (presumably if this layout is correct)

I'll also be providing a ton of screenshots so, reference.

If you have anything to add I'm welcome to discussion! Obviously I'm not the creator nor ever worked on the owl house so take everything here with at least a little grain of salt. But I am about 90% confident I got at least the majority of the house correct.

Link to part 2, it's also reblogged, 2nd floor and basement.

Blue = Windows

Black = Usually the doors, Bathroom has a sliding door and is brown along the wall for that reason.

Orange (or any varation) = Defining walls

Shaded Brown = Going upstairs or down stairs that wouldn't remain on the same level

Red = Rough idea of furniture, Photos

Outside of the house= different greens and designs for a big tree at the side and bushes around the house

Question Marks = Unclear about specifics of that area from the screenshots I've found Edit: ...forgot to upload the version with the question marks... Oh well.

A lot of these areas have more guess than straight fact about wall placement btw

Think that's it

2nd Floor

Main Floor

Basement

Without text & furniture:

Roughly.

(also, yes I did just realize that Camila's bed has furniture at both sides shh I know I'm just not gonna go back and edit)

Ready for some explanations and reference in one place? Heck yeah.

If you only came for the floor plan then you don't really need to see the rest unless you want explanation.

Outside:

Note: The window at the back I'm chalking up to error in placement since the kitchen doesn't have any windows on that side and that window better fits in the living room. The chimney is somewhat awkwardly placed but not too much

Another Note: The way the door opens changed last time it was seen in season 1 so I'm gonna chose to believe they got a new door, in universe.

Entrance:

Kitchen toward the back and a door at the back. Notice: the wall for the door doesn't align with the kitchen's back wall. This makes me think the door isn't just to the outside and leads into a small hallway, likely to the basement

Bathroom isn't in view for three of these

Hallway:

Note: The latter screenshot proves that the living room is at the front of the house

Living room:

I at first thought there was a break in the north wall that led to the kitchen but upon further inspection it is probably just a regular wall that juts out.

WE ARE IGNORING THIS

I

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT WALL PLACEMENT (behind the photo) RIGHT NOW AFTER A LOT OF WHAT I DID SO BOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kitchen:

Keep in mind the door behind Willow, Amity, and Luz, Off to the side. It's the area I understand the least.

Me and Blue are guessing it leads to a pantry like area? Maybe has some stuff to do with the chimney. But that is what some of the question marks are about on the floor plan.

Bathroom

Note: Sliding door. Right across the hallway.

Only thirty images allowed per post on tumblr so I'll reblog for the Second floor and Basement after this. This includes the door at the end of the hallway that I could only conclude led to stairs descending into the Basement

Here's the Link to that post

Only gets less clear from here.

Btw I got a handful of these screenshots from fancaps.net since those episodes aren't available like season 3 is. At least, not in a way that is easy to find consistently.

[valeriefauxnom]

And now that DnD alignment chart I mentioned...(Or: How the Heck Do Your Kids Have So Many Alignments, Aurelius?)

Explanations beneath the cut:

(as always long post ahead, but I tried to find little moments that I think overall display their alignment tendencies to break up the text!)

First of all, I'd like to establish how I personally interpret the Ye Olde DnD alignment chart in all the many arguments it's inspired over the years. 'Good' is the tendency to act selflessly or for noble pursuits through the means that do not or minimally harm others, 'Evil' indicates more of a self-centered pursuit of interests as well as a willingness to do acts that would make good-aligned characters balk in the process.

'Lawful' is a strong adherence to a code, be it in the actual law, religion, or a personal creed, whereas 'Chaotic' carries a sense of utter disregard for tradition and doing things how they are supposed to be done, usually accompanied by rebellion against a code in turn.

Neutral on the good-evil spectrum, well...here's kinda where the 'doing good things for bad reasons or doing bad things for good reasons' complexities arise. These characters are tempered in their tendencies to act in certain ways. They might do a good deed and then do something more morally complicated, shall we say, the next day. Mind you, this only goes so far. You can't be casually murdering babies and claim to have a 'neutral' alignment even if you just saved a whole orphanage yesterday, for example.

Neutral on the lawful-chaotic spectrum are people who usually are just going about their lives. They're not fiercely devoted to a set of rules, but aren't exactly jumping to throw order into the fire either. This doesn't mean they're entirely disinterested in following laws, but they're probably a bit more willing to bend tradition/laws for their purposes.

Okay, with that out of the way, here's some explanations+alternative alignments, since there's always an argument to be made...

Aurelius: Pretty cleanly stereotypical LG. He has a strong focus on fulfilling his duties as king as well as fostering good in the world. But he does have one unique attribute to me, for such a clean LG: he isn't so caught up in 'duty' that he tries to force everyone else into it, as seen with Emile when he tried to reassure him that he needn't assume responsibility beyond his capacity. He's more of the belief each should aspire to and fulfill what duty they can manage without forcing one's self into a position they are unable to handle, which is very admirable in my opinion.

Leonidas: starts in Lawful Evil, shifts to Lawful Neutral. Leonidas is Lawful, through and through, based on his strong adherence to his personal creeds, even if that creed is more of a chaotic viewpoint. If I could somehow declare him Lawfully-Chaotically-Evil, I would, but ultimately when chips are down he wants order, which is why he's more than willing to quell riots. His order is just one that inspires chaos among others.

He also flat-out changes his modus operandi when Euden beats him, because he actually sticks to his creed of 'might makes right' and thus, Euden's methods are right. While Leonidas is not necessarily incorrect in his hatred of the church in general, given what all they're up to, casually hunting down regular adherents and his wanton disregard for life puts him more in Evil territory. He shifts to Neutral more in the sense of how he's behaving even if his ultimate goal hasn't changed: he's just working towards it differently.

Phares: when possessed, honestly you could argue all three of the 'evils-'. The Progenitor himself is likely Lawful Evil, maaaybe Neutral Evil, but you could argue his overall behavior when possessed is pretty chaotic, since he loves springing in at inopportune times like his freeing of Beren, ambushing siblings as a 'test', and the way he seems to take joy in the chaos he's leaving. All in all, though, I'd say he's not particularly acting for pure chaos nor out of adherence to a creed because of the Progenitor's corruption.

Unpossessed, though, he's more in neutral good to lawful good territory. Phares does show some tendencies to believe they have duty as the royal family, but overall to me he comes across more as trying to do the good thing for the sake of it and isn't so caught up in duty as to stick to it if it's truly causing problems, like how he implores the Halidom scientists to study anything, no matter how heretical, to try and find a solution to save the world.

Chelle: I could see an argument for Chaotic Neutral depending on how morally absolutist you are when interpreting her summer story wherein she's essentially long-term manipulating to set up an actual child as one of her spies in the future by putting her in debt via rescuing her from the streets, which is kinda icky.

Otherwise, she's a pretty solid chaotic good. I mean, we're talking about a woman who prefers other games to Alberian chess because Alberian chess has too many rules in it and brings back deeply forbidden technology because she thinks it's needed. She loves doing things in an unconventional way to win before fights even start, and is a good representation that 'chaotic' alignments aren't just doing stuff at random as some misguided people seem to think. Granted, she does seem to have similar thoughts that there is a duty inherent to nobility, but the way she goes about expressing that? Pretty chaotic, all things considered.

Valyx: if you'd asked people around chapter 6, people would probably say he's Lawful Neutral since he was coming across as a 'law above all else even if the law is doing some messed up things' type, but with everything we know, he's solidly good. His story reveals he did initially try to stand up to his Father, not realizing he was possessed, and when he did figure that out, Morsayati was immediately threatening his siblings with possession and throwing the realm into chaos to get Valyx in line, which he accepted to try and keep the army set free to pillage per Morsayati under control as much as possible.

Beren: he just wants to see all the worlds burn and make them suffer as he has. Perfect microcosm of chaotic evil right there. (also I put this here because I don't know, Beren saying 'okie-dokie' is just funny to me)

Emile: Oh boy. Emile largely acts with complete disregard of others in favor of his own self-interest. He also shuns the concepts of duty as royalty after the long war with trying to measure up to his sibling growing up, overall appearing apathetic to the concept of responsibility in positions of power. He's strongly motivated to make others, in particular Euden, suffer physically and mentally, as well as his attempted enslavement of Mercury when he lies to pact since he views pacting as slavery on part of the dragon. He has huge disregard of life as seen by his random attack of a random village just because he obtained power.

To me, he fits pretty snug into CE for most of the game. After Audric's lessons and similar events, though, I'll give him CN since he seems like he's trying to overall behave better, ie 'not evilly', but it's a loooong slope to even that. At best I could imagine him in the fictional 'accidentally good' alignment, wherein he's not actually good but occasionally happens to do good things in the course of doing something else, like his encouragement of democracy of Dyrenell just because he's lazy.

Euden: he might have strong drives to protect others and be a good prince/leader, but with his overall distaste of actually being a leader and his tendency to relax all the rules and regulations regarding interacting with royalty comes across as 'neutral' to me. He respects laws, but won't let rules about etiquette or going through appropriate channels stop him from busting down doors to get to black market dealers, etc. But he also doesn't entirely approve of completely ignoring the law like Bell- er, Lapis in her Robin-Hood esque thievery or other vigilantism. Easy enough to slap the G alignment from there for NG!

Zethia: Being a head of a church, she's pretty clearly LG. She's strongly devoted to the Ilian faith, and does her best to adhere to the ideals the faith champions. She seems more overall concerned doing things because of her duty as Auspex and royalty both. Like Beren, not much to say here since not a whole lot is up in the air.

Possessed, well, along with Aurelius, the Other definitely seems to bat for chaos even if he proclaims indifference or even pretends to do things the 'lawful' way to continue his façade pretending to be Aurelius.

Nedrick: Nedrick is hard to quantify himself exactly, but I'm afraid his methods by assembling Agito shuck him pretty quick to Chaotic Evil. Even with how every would-be Agito, -excluding Valyx, -donned the beast masks willingly, his willingness to let them run rampant in all their atrocities makes him complicit since he enabled/empowered them to do it in the first place. I'd also hear an argument for himself more on Neutral Evil, but no matter how you slice it, Nedrick is not good aligned.

While I would argue he's not as personally evil as Emile tends to be, more of an extremist 'anything to get what I want done' with disregard if it harms people instead of Emile's goal often being to harm people, his methods and willingness to harm/kill so many still aren't good. He also is rebelling against the order of the world as it stands, which makes me tend towards chaotic even apart of the Agito.

So uh...yeah. The Alberian Royal family spans quite the range of alignments, in my opinion. What do you guys think, though? I'm curious as to how the royal fam comes across to you!

[moldwood]

would you mind sharing which courses youre getting? ive been wanting to get into modeling 3d environments for a while but never know where to start & theres sooo many options (a lot of which seem to overlap in a lot of ways) that i get real bad choice paralysis lmao. like i currently have five different courses on Basically The Same Thing in my cart bc i cant decide which one to get. just having some sort of "yeah i thought this one looked good" from someone else is such a huge help lmao.

(also do you by chance know if udemy does these kinds of sales often? ive never used it before so idk if this kind of opportunity will come up again or if i should just drop a bunch of money on these Right Now)

(also also if for some reason youd prefer i come off anon i can, im just shy lmao)

thank you!!

to answer your question out of order, i don't think they do sales like this often (but i can't say for sure). right now, many sites focused on this type of thing are celebrating blender's 10th birthday, so that is why i imagine the discount is so steep. on that note, blendermarket is giving away a free plugin a day (you can't claim previous drops, unfortunately), so keep an eye out for that this week too! (today's sucked tbh.) i would say yeah go ahead and get the courses you want now since i really doubt there will be an 80+% discount again. i think it expires today?? so for anyone else reading this who might be interested, it is worth looking through their courses now. there are more than just blender courses, so you can really take advantage of this sale.

this got long the rest can go under a cut. sorry for the wall of text 😭

ultimately, it depends on what your end goals are for the environments. are you learning to make them to block out 2d art backgrounds, for 3d stills, for animations, for games? photorealistic or stylized? will you be reusing the assets you make or going for unique scenes each time? there will be a few different branching paths when it comes to implementing what you've made at the end of the courses, so if you're wanting to just get one or two, go with the ones that most align with what you're trying to learn right now and with what you'd like to get out of it by the end. i prefer making textures and uv mapping to procedural textures, so my choices tended to focus more on those and compositing vs making them for usable environments.

now for the meat of the question, here are the environment + room focused ones i got. it's a lot, sorry, it was most of the purchase. i am not the best example mostly because i know i tend to fail with taking what i've learnt and applying it to my own work, so repetition helps with that :'] and because i am discovering i am really liking 3d art and wanting to delve into this aspect of it (maybe since it is so neglected in my 2d art LOL) - Blender Environment Artist: Create 3D Worlds - i've followed grant's tutorials before, so i trusted this one to get me comfortable with environments since i haven't many any yet. this is focused on modular building, though (but you can still apply the principles to a solid model) Blender 4: The Ultimate Environment Artist's Guide - whole buildings, bringing them together in a scene, props Stylized 3D Environments with Blender 4 Geometry Nodes - nodes... they elude me Blender 4 Modeling and Geometry Node Workshop - environment sculpting, nodes, **curved surfaces, which i struggle with Blender to Unreal Engine Become a Dungeon Prop Artist - props The Ultimate Environment Art Bundle - 4 Courses in 1 - interiors, exteriors, urban setting Create a Victorian Room with Blender and Substance Painter - this one was another one i had to get since there were not many that focused on interiors like this Blender to Unreal Engine 3D Plants and Vegetation - texture painting vegetation (as opposed to procedural generation for the textures) Learn to Make Stylized Environments in Blender & UE5 - modular buildings, bringing them together in a scene, props, lighting in UE5 as opposed to fighting cycles. also uses zbrush, which is free and which i am scared of. (i will probably swap that part of this tutorial out for sculpting in blender as best i can.) this is one i wanted to get but ultimately did not. but i will probably change my mind by lunch tomorrow lol: Creating 3D environments in Blender - realistic environments, water physics, photoscan models??

there is a lot of overlap, especially with how they mostly start from the very beginning assuming you haven't opened blender before, but they each do something different, either with particle systems or geometry nodes or focusing on interiors vs exteriors vs environments. i don't have substance painter (yet 🦴🏴‍☠️🦜), and i probably won't be putting the things i make in unreal engine with the intention of having them be walkable, but the modeling and rendering parts of the courses are very applicable still to what i want to learn. and who knows! maybe i fall in love with making areas you can move in.

there was one other course that i bought a bit ago on sale that is not on udemy or on sale anymore, but that i recommend checking out since it opens up a lot of possibilities, especially if you're wanting to avoid substance painter/adobe (though quixel mixer is an alright +free! alternative i have heard): Revitalize paintings in 3d with Blender. omar's work is easily the biggest reason i got into 3d modeling in the first place. flippednormals does have sales from time to time, so you can wait until one happens and buy it then if it interests you. check out omar's youtube (craftreaper iirc?) his pinned comment on the course video will have a discount when there is one

so yeah TLDR; if you have a bit of an idea of what you want to make in the future already and how you prefer to do it, focus on courses that teach those. if they cover the same thing, that's fine, practice helps with making sure you remember the techniques, especially since in classes sometimes you're just following along and not absorbing. at least i am guilty of that. you know your learning style and what you're wanting to achieve with 3d modeling best! if they're covering the exact same techniques, maybe try one or two that use a different method just to have that tool in your pocket. keep in mind how much time you are willing/able to take out of the day to sit down and follow the courses and how easily you are able to take what you learn and apply it to your own work. if you can do that sooner, you'll need less courses since you can just look up specific problems and questions as you encounter them.

TLDR TLDR; imo, i would say just buy all 5. maybe look to swap some out if they're all about the exact same thing. they're on sale for so cheap compared to the normal prices. worse comes to worst, you don't end up using it and you have put money in an artist's pocket. my friend is yelling at me for still being up goodnight

[deckthehaus]

Welcome to the final day of Deck the Haus! We have 4 fics and 1 podfic for you today. Don't forget to leave the creators some love in the form of kudos and comments!

Creators, if your work was revealed today, please change your posting date to today so that your work will show up in the most recent Check Please works on AO3. AO3 explains how to change your publication date here.

Without further ado, here are today's revealed works:

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DAY 5 REVEALS

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maybe tonight (the stars align)

[Nursey/Dex - T - 4,980]

It’s been five months since Dex has seen Nursey in person, the longest they’ve been apart since graduating Samwell three-and-a-half years ago. They’ve stayed in touch – texting on a regular basis, virtually watching movies together every other week, and Frog FaceTime calls at least once a month – but they haven’t been in the same room since the summer. He’d deny it if asked, but he’s had a countdown app going on his phone ever since he invited Nursey to spend the weekend in Maine.

Or, Nursey and Dex spend a winter weekend at a lakeside cabin in Maine.

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Operation Get Bitty Better

[Bitty/Jack - G - 1,678]

After two weeks of taking care of sick teammates, Bitty finally catches the flu going around campus. The team rallies together to return the care he's given them.

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Baked with Love (it’s the thought that counts)

[Bitty/Jack - T - 2,159]

Bitty gets food poisoning from someone else's pie right before the holidays, and he can't stand the thought of baking or eating anything even remotely pie-adjacent. What can he do if he can't show his love through baking?

He wants to woo Jack with baked goods but now he can't (and of course in this situation there's *pining*)!

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No Kiss Goodbye

[Nursey/Dex - T - 4,495]

It was just going to be a short break, but Dex needed to head home anyway. He was needed. And he was running late for his train. But when Nursey called out, he had to stop.

"What? No kiss goodbye?"

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[Podfic] Every Time a Bell Rings

[Bitty/Jack, Alicia/Bob - G - 43 minutes]

Jack gets injured during a game and when he wakes up in the hospital he's pretty sure he's looking at an angel.

Podfic of “Every Time a Bell Rings” by iBoatedHere