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mytardisisparked · 2 months

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To Show That Time Has Passed

In the hospital, immediately after the events of DeadAlive, Mulder begins to notice just how much time has passed since he was in Bellefleur.

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He’s stuck in a sort of limbo where he knows he’s been gone for months – he can feel it, can sense it, can see the evidence of it in the people around him – but his mind still thinks that, just yesterday, he was in the woods around Bellefleur, Oregon with Skinner.

Her hair is longer. It’s shiny and healthy, which is an offset to the dark circles under her eyes. He can see the time that has passed in the red strands, set aglow by the faint hospital lights around him. She tells him he’s been gone for over six months.

His face itches. She holds his hand in hers and tells him not to scratch it.

There’s a memory floating just underneath the surface, attached to the scabs on his face. He doesn’t touch it. He lets the mild sedatives he’s currently on keep the memory out of reach. He’s not ready.

She’s happy to see him. She’s missed him for six months and he can see every mile of that in her eyes. He loves her even more for it, though he can feel guilt looming, hard and heavy, over his head. He suspects that it will set in once he leaves the hospital and all of its safety; once they return to reality and he has to face the time he has missed more fully.

He keeps studying her face and sees something else tucked away behind her gaze. She’s holding something back and she’s itching to let it out.

“Scully?” His voice rasps.

She holds his hand, her thumb drawing nervous little circles ever-so-gently against his skin.

“Mulder.” She’s being avoidant – she’s always been a bad liar.

He tilts his head at her in a silent question and she crumbles, bringing his hand to her lips as a fresh set of tears line her eyes in silver.

“You were away a long time and– and I’m trying to ease you back into everything.” She gives him a weak smile, and he pulls his hand from her grasp to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, brushing his fingertips over her cheek.

“I appreciate that, but something’s clearly eating you.”

She chokes out a watery laugh. “Not exactly.”

Confusion washes over him until, with a hesitant smile, she sits back and rests a hand on her belly.

Oh?

Oh.

“You’re–” he chokes on the next word; the weight of the months he’s been gone and all of the guilt he knew he would eventually feel finally hit him.

She nods and looks down at the swell of her abdomen.

At her baby. He thinks, feeling a little dizzy. Scully finally got her baby.

He’s too tired and sedated to consider how that baby came to be, but he can see the joy in her eyes, even through the frame of tears. She’s wanted this for so long and she’s happy.

He feels happy, too, despite everything.

He reaches up to scratch his face. She catches his hand before he can.

“Mulder, you’ll open your wounds.” She keeps his hand in hers, warming it.

“Sorry,” he gives her a sheepish smile. His eyes fall back to her waist.

Now that she’s bent toward him, he can’t really see the bump, but he’s hyperaware of its existence; of the baby’s existence. He wonders how she manages to think of anything else, because he sure as hell can’t.

He wonders how far along she is.

“Mulder you should get some rest.” As soon as the words leave her lips, he feels the truth of them in the weight of his eyelids. He blinks slowly and she smiles. “I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

He knows she means it, which is the only reason his mind lets him fall asleep.

In his dreams, he sees a mobile made of stars and a tiny figure bundled up in the blanket his mother used on him and Samantha. The baby within giggles in delight as the stars above swirl and twinkle.

If he has any other dreams that night, any nightmares , he cannot remember.

#the x files #fox mulder #dana scully #fanfiction #msr #DeadAlive #that ep made me a little dizzy whew #I yearned for a scene where Mulder realized she was preggy and TPTB decided not to give us that so [thanos meme]#if you saw me posting art and fic in the same night no u didn't

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randomfoggytiger · 3 months

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Collector's Edition: Reworking Requiem and Mulder's Return (Part I)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, Requiem. Dear, sweet, why-you-gotta-do-this-to-me, Requiem.

Here are some old school-y AU fics.

Loose chronological order below~

jeri's (mulderscreek)

Whatever It Takes

The Alien Bounty Hunter came to me in a dream. He told me that he knew I was dying; the abductees from Oregon were victims of the same cancer. He told me that he had offered them a deal, and that he would offer me the same deal: I would be abducted. They would gather some tissue samples for tests. Then they would save me.

Of course, I was skeptical....

He told me Scully was pregnant.

Then I woke up.

Requiem: Mulder went willingly, hoping to be cured of brain cancer for his, Scully's, and the baby's sake.

Forte's (Gossamer) Half an Hour

"What's her chart say?" Mulder demands, oblivious to any need for quiet.

Langly gestures toward the nurse's station and scowls. "They've got her chart back there practically under lock and key," he whispers. "We haven't been able to get a look at it. I hacked into their computer system about an hour ago and there was nothing there for her yet except that she was admitted."

Requiem: Mulder corrals Mulder and TLG into good behavior when Scully is unexpectedly hospitalized.

Namarie's (LJ, mulderscreek)

All I Will Remember (mulderscreek)

I hadn't really worried that he would react to this news with anything but happiness, but it feels wonderful, anyway. I am so glad that he's here right now... wherever here is.

Almost as if he has heard this last thought, Mulder sighs and reluctantly lets go of me. "Well, I think we should try to figure out where we are."

Post Requiem: Mulder and Scully wake in the forest, disoriented.

Livia Balaban's Cunegund's Restoration (or, The Best of All Possible Worlds, Really) (1/2) and Cunegund's Restoration (or, The Best of All Possible Worlds, Really) (2/2)

It was all very dramatic, with the sun going down behind the ship, brilliant and gleaming orange behind the slowly lowering cherrypicker....

I camped out at the base of the apparatus, looking up into the ship, trying to learn as much as I could from the ground, but I couldn't see anything. It wasn't until the bucket lowered again that I saw the top of Mulder's head peek out from one edge of the circular opening. As soon as his eyes met mine, he leaned all the way forward, and flashed the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. I forgot completely about the press, or the slight hollowing of his cheeks, or the dark circles under his eyes. All I saw was pure joy.

Post Requiem: Scully, TLG, Skinner, Krycek, and Morris Fletcher all rescue Mulder and the Bellefleur captives-- live, on national tv. Mulder has a surprise for Scully, too; but the little family can't catch a break before more Syndicate drama kicks up.

Meredith's (Tumblr) Brave New World

Her hand gravitated toward the Fruit & Fiber, but stalled inches from the box when an old memory surfaced of Mulder joking about her "nuts and twigs" breakfast. What would Mulder choose? She thought hard, but couldn't come up with anything. She'd never seen him eat cereal. He might not even like cereal.

She tamped down a wave of sadness. She knew him so well, and yet not at all. When she pulled him back to this world, their new lives would be uncharted territory, spent either together or apart. She tried not to admit the latter was a possibility.

Post Requiem: Scully stays within 50 miles of Bellefleur where she works and waits for Mulder's return.

aka Jake/aka 'Jake'/aka_Jake's

So This is Agent Mulder... (Gossamer)

Agent Mulder smells...bad. The odor reminds me of a place I visited years ago, back when I was serving warrants -- a torched animal shelter. You don't forget a stench like that. Burnt hair. Cooked flesh. Animal excrement. The whole building reeked. The same terrible air of death clings to Mulder now and the stink sets my teeth on edge.

Post Requiem: Mulder is returned 8 weeks later, determined to leave again to help the Rebels. Doggett, more than anyone, gets it.

Widow Orphan (Gossamer)

"Bill was my second husband." She could see this news surprised him. He nodded, eyebrows rising toward his hairline while she continued. "I married a man, a boy actually, named John Parker when I was seventeen. I married him because I was pregnant. Don't look so shocked, Fox. Unmarried girls get caught all the time."

"I'm not judging."

She leveled a glare at him. You better not be, young man. You've got a little surprise of your own waiting back at home.

Post Requiem: Mulder is returned to Maggie's house, insisting she go on the run with him. Turns out, she's rather good at duck-and-diving.

Lara Means's (Ao3) Rescue Mission 01 and Rescue Mission 03 - Comrades

She turns back toward the jet's doorway and extends her hand, then he comes out to join her at the top of the stairs.

Mulder.

Now it's real.

He's thin, too thin. And he looks weak. Scully slides an arm around his waist and he drapes his arm around her shoulder -- he has a cane in his other hand. Together they move slowly down the steps, helping each other.

Post Requiem: Krycek and Scully rescue Mulder from Ellen's Airforce Base.

spookycc's At What Price?

"*What* does he need?" she pushed.

"As I said," Cancerman went on calmly, "Something *we* cannot provide him with."

"Tell me," Scully asserted.

"Something only *you* possess."

Post Requiem: Scully sacrifices her baby to save Mulder's life.

Avalon's In Dreams

She shut the drawer, still holding the picture, and set it on top of the dresser, pulling the little stand out from behind it to prop it up. It looked nice, she thought, sitting there next to the picture of Mulder and Samantha. It looked like it belonged.

Post Requiem: Mulder's psychic childhood friend drops in to help Scully find Mulder.

Jen's (mulderscreek) and Lauren's (mulderscreek) Introspection: Return

Her hands turned to ice at that moment as she greedily drank in the message.

"He's at Georgetown Memorial, Scully, I feel it. We sent Byers to check it out. Hope you're awake to hear this."

Post Requiem: Mulder is returned four months later, chipped. Acting on a hunch, Scully takes hers out, realizing it had, somehow, glitched.

Vulpecula (Vulpecula 01 - 08 and Vulpecula 09 -14) and Phoenicia (Phoenicia 01 - 05)

And then, he's there. His head bobs lightly with his familiar gait, and his eyes seem to be searching for something. For someone?

I start walking toward him, and he turns away from me, still looking. I begin running, and I hear my voice calling out his name. He spins around, his eyes wide with surprise, and then our eyes lock. His face splits into an enormous smile, and he starts running towards me with, I'm sure, the same desperation that I'm feeling.

Post Requiem: Scully limps by with the support of her whole family; and runs into Jose Chung, Phoebe Green, and even Gibson Praise before Mulder's return. When he does, happier endings unfold from there.

Mummy Dearest

Slowly but surely, the bandages were removed. Scully was immeasurably relieved to see his legs again; they were still nicely tanned and scar-free. He was even free of the scar from the bullet that got him all those years ago. Scully thought that was a bit odd, but didn't really care too much.

Post Requiem, Crack: Mulder is returned, wrapped up in bandages.

Lolabeegood's (mulderscreek) Five Months Lost (Gossamer)

"Okay, before that…how did you get here?" she said as she looked him over for strange markings.

"Scully, you're starting to scare m…"

"Mulder!" she snapped.

"Here in the bedroom here?"

"Here in my apartment here!" she snapped.

"I have a key, remember?" Mulder looked at her strangely.

Post Requiem: Mulder is returned, five months later, with false memories.

T. Griffen's Faith

All I wanted was to be alone, to grieve and feel ill in the solitude of my apartment, but Mom turned this into the event of the year. A large party was planned for December twenty- third, with every Scully and Harper family member known to man in attendance, and then just the immediate family on Christmas Day.

Post Requiem: Scully trudges along, trying to keep up her faith, while finding surprising sources of support and comfort from her family (and Mulder, after his return.)

Ten's (xffics) A Fuller Canvas

The man in the bed felt his breathing and heart quicken, and not just because of the details filling his mind.

Scully.

He knew who he was and he knew who she was.

And she was pregnant.

Mulder was very glad that he was lying down. It saved a shocked collapse.

Requiem: Mulder is returned 6 months later; and takes a peek before Scully can break her news to him.

Ambress's Tidings

Scully thought she would crack in two when, in the car, Mulder put his head down on her shoulder. She had sat in the back with him without thinking about it. At first, she thought he was asleep, but then she caught the flash of light reflecting off his open eyes in the rearview mirror.

He was watchful, prepared for fight or flight.

Post Requiem: Mulder is returned, mute and barely responsive, in a park bathroom. Scully helps coax him back to himself.

Lorri's (mulderscreek) Wait Until Your Father Gets Home and Your Father Came Home (MC) and Your Father's Child (MC)

I call Skinner every hour until he can tell me when Mulder will be home. His plane won't arrive until nearly noon, but I am dressed and waiting for him by 6 a.m. At 7:15 my phone rings again. I answer it and hear a long pause, then "Scully it's me." I feel like I am going to pass out. My arm instantly drops to my belly and I cradle you in an unconscious gesture. Mulder tells me he is on the airplane, on his way home. There are so many things to ask him, but they can all wait. Right at this moment all I can do is savor the sound of my name in his voice. "Hurry," I tell him. "Hurry."

Post Requiem: Scully talks to her baby as the months bleed into one another, Mulder flies home, and her due date fast approaches.

Alcott's Exit

Mulder was in tears now, wrapping his arms tightly around his body, retreating deeper.

...There was no response.

"Listen to me," Byers said, with more firmness than he felt. "Are you listening? If you want to see her, you have to get better first. Do you understand?"

Byers was desperate; he had no idea how he'd arrange him to see her. But the spark in Mulder's dead eyes seemed to make the deception worth it.

Post Requiem: TLG are able to intercept and retrieve a wounded Mulder right before Scully goes into labor. Reluctantly, they figure out a way to work him into the secret plan.

Lee Burwasser's (mulderscreek) Quis Custodiet (1/2) and Quis Custodiet (2/2) (mulderscreek)

At last Langly sat back and angled the laptop to give Mulder a view of it. The rest got up to gather behind the two. There was a crude figure in robes and long hair behind a tall rectangle with a shorter one beside it. Langly did something with the cursor that made the robed figure flash. Mulder looked from the flashing figure to Langly, who made a solemn face and mimed banging with a gavel. Mulder nodded.

...Langly sat down and moved the black-circle figure back to its table. Another figure from the opposite table then moved to take its place. Now Byers got to loom over Frohike and do the bridge guardian routine. When Byers sat down, Langly restored the figures to their places and glanced at Mulder, who nodded and punched the blond's shoulder. Then he looked around, finally went over to Scully's desk and brought the desk calendar back to show to Scully. He riffled the sheets and gave her an eloquently questioning look. Scully spread her hands and tapped the judge figure. Mulder nodded again, shrugged resignation and put the calendar down.

Langly flung up his hands. "Ya got it."

Post Requiem: Mulder is returned with aphasia; and Scully fights tooth and nail to prevent his relative from winning caretaker rights in court.

ML/ML_is_me’s (Ao3, Gossamer, DW, Invidiosa)

Another Gray Morning, Transfigured Night, Comes the Dawn, and Beloved Protector

"HOW IS SHE?" Mulder repeated loudly. When Skinner didn't reply right away, he added, "What aren't you telling me?"

Then all at once, he *knew*. "Scully had a baby, didn't she?" he said slowly, words and images forming in his mind as he spoke.

Post Requiem: Mulder is returned a year later, face first in the dirt. Skinner and TLG find him, and decide to surprise Scully without forewarning.

The Secret Language of Babies

I couldn't even be with her during the delivery.... The best I could do was an audio monitor from the delivery room....

When I heard Will's squall for the first time, I cried. In front of Skinner and everything. I think he was crying, too. He took his glasses off and polished them vigorously, turning away from me as he did so.

When they finally brought Scully and the baby to see me, I cried again. But that was in front of Scully, and she's seen me cry before. I wanted to touch them both so badly I would have broken the thick glass separating us with my own hands. But at the time, I could barely lift my head from the pillow.

Post Requiem: Mulder reminisces on his return, slow recovery, and happy reunion.

Age Cannot Wither and Nor Custom Stale

Washington, DC, is one of the last stops they make before their ultimate destination. All of the usual monuments are there, plus more. The Esplanade and all the other open areas display more statuary and symbolic sculptures and fountains than ever before.

The most meaningful monuments to them are the personal ones. Scully directs Mulder to a small park he remembers from years ago. This is where Melissa Scully is buried, and now so is Margaret Scully. The surprise to him is that Walter Skinner also has a stone nearby.

"He could have been buried at Arlington," Mulder says.

"He wanted to be among friends," Scully replies simply. She wordlessly points out another stone, a small obelisk with three names inscribed on it....

It's not until later that it occurs to Mulder that there is no stone for their son, and by then he's unwilling to bring it up. He can see that this trip is already taking a toll on Scully.

Post Requiem: Scully is immortal-- watching her son grow up, live a life like his father's, grow old, and die-- until Mulder suddenly appears, barely aged, in a Bellefleur hospital.

Invisivellum's (Tumblr) Surreal Thing (MC)

I studied him carefully, letting Scully's words settle down like rain upon me. I knew that, if I stayed silent for a moment, she would explain. I chewed on my lower lip and focused on the baby. He was still trying with all his might to drag my hand closer to his open mouth.

I looked at his eyes.

I blinked, put my finger under his chin and tilted his face up so I could have a better look. He raised fine reddish brows at me and clamped his mouth down on the knuckle of my thumb. Something about his eyes...

I think I stopped breathing.

Post Requiem: Mulder is returned 15 months later, waking to Scully and a baby that, he assumes, is another Emily.

mrkeller/Mary Ruth Keller's (FFN) Lux Perpetua

"Don't try to move too fast, you've been unconscious for a week now."

She seemed *more* than content. His partner was distinctly at ease. As more memories flooded back, he seemed to know the reason why. "Motherhood suits you, Scully."

"What?" She had cocked her head at him.

Post Requiem: Mulder returned a year later to no baby, an expanded X-Files office, and Scully promoted as its A.D.

Ellie/EllieL's The Rusted Wheel of Things

Scully pulled away, turning to sit between him and the cocoa, handing him his cup just as four girls, all with hair in braids and bows terribly similar to the dog's stylings, marched into the living room, led by Hannah.

"Mommy, where's the Ouija board?"

Mulder did his best to stifle a laugh, unsure of whether he found their hair or the question funnier.

Post Requiem: Mulder is returned 7 years later to an adoring little ballerina.

Keleka's Heart Turned Inwards 01 and Heart Turned Inwards 02

"Agent Mulder, I'm Dr. Andrew Scully. I'm the doctor who admitted you."

Mulder was confused for a moment and then realized the mistake. "Oh, I meant Dr. Dana Scully. My partner at the FBI. Is she here?"

Dr. Scully said nothing for a moment and then stepped away to pull the curtain around the bed, offering them some privacy. He pulled up a stool and sat down next to the bed.

Post Requiem: Scully waits 30 years for Mulder-- but he's actually found by his son.

Shoshana's Almost Home (4/4)

Ironically, Mulder hadn't ended up in any medical facility they'd been monitoring; he'd hitchhiked his way to Portland, flying home in a comfortable jet. He'd been shell shocked the entire way home, gazing with disbelief at the date on all the newspapers he could muster.

His worries had been far from over, of course. Life had thrown him another curve ball on top of his seemingly extreme case of amnesia--a red-headed partner three months shy of her due date.

Post Requiem: Mulder is returned with a few handicaps and mild amnesia; but other than that, he makes a recovery in time for quick wedding prep and another Syndicate kidnapping.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

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agent-troi · 10 months

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Eight Nights of Mulder, Night 5: Miracles

Summary: Scully finds out she’s pregnant… but this time, Mulder is there to share her joy.

@eightnightsofmulder @today-in-fic

ao3 link

“Scully, they’re taking abductees. You’re an abductee.”

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “Do you want to become one yourself, Mulder? Because that’s what could happen if you go back out there.”

“I can’t let it happen to you again. I won’t. I’m not gonna risk…” he paused to swallow around the lump in his throat. “...losing you.”

Her eyes welled up with tears, and he could feel his doing the same. In unison, they moved into one another’s embrace.

“Don’t go back,” she whispered. “Please.”

Before Mulder could respond, he felt her suddenly go slack against him. He stumbled as he caught her limp body in his arms. “Scully? Scully!”

He saw her eyes twitch beneath half-closed lids. “M’ld’r…” she murmured sluggishly.

“I’m here, Scully. I’m here, and I’m not leaving. You hear me?”

“Mmmm…” There was a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. His panic escalated, and he bent at the knees to scoop her up in his arms and cradle her against his chest. She’s so small…

“Agent Mulder?” Skinner had emerged from the conference room, followed closely by the three Gunmen. Their eyes widened when they saw Scully. “What happened?” Skinner asked.

“I don’t know, I think she fainted.” Mulder could barely hear his own voice over the sound of his heart hammering in his chest. “I’m taking her to the hospital. You guys stay here with Krycek and Marita and see what else you can find out.”

He made it to the hospital in record time, Scully regaining consciousness along the way but still weak enough not to raise more than the faintest objections when Mulder told her where he was taking her. When he told the admitting nurse that he was her boyfriend, Scully raised her eyebrows at him but didn’t say anything. Thankfully, the nurse believed them, so he was allowed to wait with her while they ran a series of tests.

“I know it’s technically true, since we’re together now,” she remarked as she sat on the examination table, her legs swinging back and forth as they were too short to reach the ground. “But ��boyfriend’ just sounds so… juvenile. No, that’s not the right word. It’s just not… enough… to describe what you are to me.”

Mulder sat in a chair which he’d pulled up right next to the table, squeezing her hand gently as he looked up at her. “If I’d said I was only your ‘partner’, they wouldn’t have let me in here.”

Scully chuckled. “Half the time people assume we mean that in a romantic sense anyway. I think it’s fitting. It describes every aspect of our relationship, personal and professional.” She paused to let out an adorably enormous yawn, and Mulder couldn’t help but smile despite his lingering concern. “And it would’ve described…”

Her voice faltered as she suddenly looked away from him, down at her feet. “If we’d gotten our miracle, we would’ve been partners in that too.”

Regret and agonized longing pierced his heart, just like it had back in Oregon when he’d watched Scully hold Teresa Hoese’s baby. He’d wanted that for her– with her– so much, but whatever cruel God was in charge of dispensing miracles had decided it wasn’t meant to be.

The door to the exam room opened, and in walked the doctor, who looked like she was trying not to smile. “Miss Scully?”

She handed her a manila envelope, which Scully immediately opened. Mulder looked at the doctor anxiously, too afraid to read it himself. “What is it? Is she okay?”

A gasp caused him to turn his attention back to Scully, who was pressing one hand to her mouth as if she were trying to hold in laughter or tears, or both. “Scully?”

His partner looked up at him with an unreadable expression. “I’m… I’m pregnant.”

She laughed softly as tears of joy slid down her cheeks. “I’m having a—”

“We’re having a—”

“A miracle,” they finished in unison. Mulder pulled Scully into his arms and spun her around, laughing and crying with her.

“I told you not to give up, Scully.”

“You did,” she murmured into his shoulder. “I’ll never doubt you again.”

He snorted. “Liar.”

Scully laughed again. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“I thought you believed in miracles?”

“I thought you didn’t?”

Mulder smiled and kissed her forehead, cradling her face as she gazed up at him with wide-eyed joy and wonder. “Well, maybe now I do.”

#today in fic #eightnightsofmulder #x files #fox mulder #dana scully #mulder x scully #msr #txf s7 #requiem #miracles #hanukkah

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thursdayinspace · 4 months

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I'm lost in the truth kiss again. Just in case you want to write some beautiful words about it that help me see the light. Like about how he just saunters up and grab her face. There's no holding back there, no hesitation. I can't stop watching it lol

Oh man, I’m always so excited to be asked for words I will never say no. I don’t know if I have beautiful ones in me, but I love that kiss in The Truth, so here is my take.

There is no hesitation, there is no doubt. He’d been gone for so long – was it easier this time, knowing that he was alive? Or had it been easier when he was dead, when there had been an end, when the challenge had been moving on instead of constant longing, endless nights of knowing he could be there with her if things were different? Are the two even comparable? Does someone’s absence sit in a different part of your soul when they’re gone completely?

He didn’t want to be away from her. He didn’t want to be away from her and their son. After all that time with the barriers finally fallen and their hearts exposed to each other at last, happiness so close, all they wanted was a future, but again the world had other plans for them. Knowing she was missing him, knowing she was loving him from so far away – how did he cope? Loving her from so far away, knowing now what it felt like to kiss her, to hold her, to share a life not just Monday to Friday but always? And then coming back and still being apart from her, being kept in that prison, being brainwashed, facing the threat of death once again; he wants to be with her but he already knows it’s not that simple.

She walks into his cell not sure what to expect, and . . . of course he makes a joke. He wouldn’t be Mulder if he didn’t. It’s not funny no matter what he says, she is right about that, but nothing about any of it is funny. And Mulder makes jokes when it’s all too overwhelming. Mulder comes back from the dead and asks “Who are you?” and her face falls. He asks “Anybody miss me?” and she laughs. She doesn’t laugh this time. Because he’s not back from the dead. There is, in fact, a good chance he might join the dead again soon. He’s not in that prison for stealing someone’s wallet. Things are serious. Really fucking serious. So no, his joke is not funny. But he’s Mulder. And he’s been through hell. So let’s forgive him, okay? She has been through hell too though. She has no reason to laugh. But he doesn’t know what else to say. And she isn’t sure either. He tries to explain – “What’s not funny is what they do to you in here if you don’t put on that act,” – but he knows and she knows too that all of it is too much for words. There are no words they could say. But touch? Touch is something they can do.

From the beginning, from their first case together, touch is something they can do: They barely know each other when she seeks comfort in his hug in a motel room in Oregon. After Donnie Pfaster, she finally lets herself break in his arms. At his mother’s hospital bed, she reaches for him and he cries into her shoulder. He escapes from a Russian prison camp and returns to put his arms around her – both of them. Scully in the hospital, deciding to keep fighting, and they hold each other so tight; his lips against her forehead an “I love you more than anything” that has no words yet. She tells him she’s only ever held him back, she tries to leave, he tells her she’s saved him – what else is there but to hold each other, to lean in for a kiss when all the words are spoken but the love is bigger than everything words can contain? Scully clinging to him in Milagro, Mulder wrapped around her as he teaches her about baseball, a lingering forehead kiss in Amor Fati, Mulder holding her on that bed when she’s feeling sick, no idea yet that she’s pregnant. Touch is something they can do when words fail.

And they have missed each other so much, so much. It doesn’t matter that Skinner is standing right there. It doesn’t matter that they have no idea what’s going to happen. They’re in love. They love each other. And he needs her, and she needs him. So no, there is no hesitation. There is only one thing to do. He cups her face in his hands and kisses her, and she kisses him back, and there’s relief and love and desperation and the lingering pain of separation and the looming fear of being separated again. All they want is each other, and here they are, together, but not really, not yet, maybe not ever. It’s a few seconds of complete closeness that hold so much past and only a possible future, but all of the present. Anything else doesn’t matter for those few seconds. They let themselves want and they let themselves have, everything they haven’t had for all this time. They hold each other, just exist together, just for the little time it lasts, and the relief of being close mixes with the grief of having been apart.

They don’t know what will happen, they don’t know how and when they’ll be together again, just the two of them, home, happy. But they have touch. He doesn’t let go of her hand even afterwards, kisses it, holds it to his chest. Not able to let go. Never able to let go. There is love, there will always be love, no matter what happens. That is one immutable fact. One thing they promise each other, without words, because there are none for a truth of that magnitude. But they know. They know. A kiss without any hesitation, without any doubt. Just this pull between them, a connection that transcends language and conscious decision. They’ve gone too long without touch. And in that moment, it’s the best way they have to say “I’ve loved you all this time, I love you now, and I always will.”

#txf #the x files #msr #mulder and scully #txf meta #I've spent half my afternoon watching that kiss on a loop #and now I'm having all the feelings #but I really love doing this #it makes me see things I hadn't seen before #so thank you for the question!#I'm genuinely always thrilled to be asked for words

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calimanc · 2 months

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Fics I read on the plane

Whiteout by EvanBlack

Some very sweet bits, survival/hurt/comfort, smutty smut and Skinner making himself lol. Also it's a plane crash which I didn't realise was probably psychotic of me to read on a plane until about 3 hours after I'd finished it.

While you were sleeping by Sammie1million

Lovely. Vignettes over the years of him watching her sleep.

Finding Rokovoko by Prufrockslove

Reread of a classic. The first time I read it I genuinely didn't know what to expect and it scared the crap out of me. This time I was able to focus more on the MSR in all it's thorniness and tenderness.

The Prelude Series by Helen Willis (plus part vi)

Interesting AU where Scully is the agent on the X Files and Mulder is no longer with the bureau for complicated personal reasons. Haven't finished this one yet.

Land of Endless Sky by nowwhateinstein

Oregon Trail AU. Mulder leaves the army on moral grounds and Scully is heading west with her family hoping to work as a doctor. Things go wrong and they end up together.

Since We Fell Apart by RynThorn

This is set around Arcadia, post One Son angst. There's some untagged Scully/other.

Rule No. 1 by Brynstein

Phone sex smut, definitely glad I had a privacy screen for this one.

Temporarum VI by Emily_M1013

Third installment of an AU series in which Emily lives and Mulder and Scully’s lives change. This one only has two chapters so far but I really liked the second installment and I hope she updates soon.

No more travel planned for the moment!

#txf fanfic #the x files fanfic #what I read

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baronessblixen · 10 months

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Small Miracles

My prompts for today: Eight Nights of Mulder, day 5 - miracles; X-Mas Files Challenge - helping neighbors

Summary: After coming back from the dead, Mulder is just trying to figure out who he is and what his place in the world is. Before he can lose himself in his thoughts, though, one of his neighbors needs his help. ("Three Words" fic, angst; wc: 1,362)

Tagging @today-in-fic @eightnightsofmulder

He's staring out his window, peeved that it's clean. Like everything else in his apartment. The last time he was home, the last time he looked outside, his window was dusty and greasy. It should be an improvement, but it's just another thing that's different. One more thing he wasn't around for. Yet another way for him to no longer fit in here.

He presses his thumb against the glass, observing his fingerprint. That one's the same. Or at least he thinks it is. There's nothing he can be sure of anymore. Except for one thing; he's a miracle. It's what everyone keeps saying. And he can't hear it anymore.

His health is a miracle. His progress is a miracle. Earlier, he rolled his eyes, and instead of miracle, Scully used exceptional development. Still, what she means, is that his healing has been miraculous. She should know, because she's become an expert on miracles. He's only one of them. The other, of course, is the baby.

When he became aware of Scully's protruding stomach and its implications, it dawned on him how much he had missed. Dates and months meant nothing to him, but the growing sapling inside of Scully felt tangible.

When he saw her months ago - and in many ways it feels like it was mere days ago - her stomach was toned and flat. Her hair was shorter, her face more angular. Now everything about her is soft. So soft that he's been afraid to touch her, even though everything in him screams out for her.

Before, the last time he was alive, he wished for this. One night, he even prayed. For Scully. He asked for a miracle for her. Wanted nothing more than to give her the child she so craved. That he started wanting, too. What a sick twist of fate that they succeeded in creating a new life, and Mulder lost his. Now, miraculously, he is back. He's been given a second chance and he doesn't know how to take it. How is he ever going to catch up?

Mulder paces around his apartment, but it's unfamiliar. He remembers the last night he was here before he and Skinner went to Oregon a lifetime ago. Scully had sat on the couch, bespectacled and with her legs crossed. He had tried to pack for his trip, had meant to take out the trash before it started reeking, and in the end, did neither because Scully smiled at him and they ended up making love.

He walks into the kitchen, but the trash bag from months ago is no longer there. Why would it be? There's nothing here that's out of place and it makes him mad. Scully went out to get them a few things and he didn't have the strength to ask her to stay, to not leave him alone here, or let him come with her. He lets a highly pregnant woman do his grocery shopping. Is that the man he wants to be?

There's a bag of chips in the cupboard he knows he put there years ago. It's too high for Scully to reach and he hopes she hasn't checked there. He's in luck. The bag is still there and Mulder doesn't care if they're still edible. He needs to get out of here, do something normal. What's more normal than taking out the trash? He puts the chips in a trash bag, grabs his keys, and leaves his apartment.

One floor down, he runs into a young woman who looks vaguely familiar. Though he doesn't remember her being pregnant. Seems like that's becoming a pattern.

"Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?" she asks, breathing heavily.

"You look like you're having a baby."

"And you look like crap," she shoots back. "Oh, it's you." She must recognize him. "FBI dude. I thought you were a goner."

"So did I. Is that- did your water break?"

"Yeah that kid is coming and it's coming soon."

"Do you want me to- you live with your boyfriend, right?"

"You've been gone a while," she says, holding her stomach. "He really is a goner."

"I'm sorry," Mulder says, helping her make it outside of the building.

"I'm not. He's an asshole."

"Is there anyone I can-"

"There's no one."

"Well, there's me. I'll go with you." He doesn't know why he offers it, and his young neighbor looks skeptical until another contraction hits her. She squeezes Mulder's hand and screams into his ear. For the first time since he's come back to life, he feels alive.

On the drive to the hospital, he learns that the young woman's name is Emma and that her boyfriend Harvey ran off a couple of months ago, claiming he wasn't ready to be a father after all.

"At least he can't veto Tinkerbell as a name," Emma says right before she's silenced by a bad contraction that makes her whole body shake and shiver, causing Mulder, who is panting as hard as she is, to hold her tightly against him, whispering nonsense words into her sweaty hair.

They make it to the hospital in time and it's only when a nurse asks him if he's the father that he realizes that he is. He is the father. Just not of this baby. And Scully, who has gone through more than enough lately, has no idea where he is.

He charms another nurse into letting him use the phone, impatiently twirling the cable around his finger, waiting for Scully to pick up.

"Mulder?" she asks, sounding panicky and out of breath.

"Hey Scully, it's me."

"Where are you? You didn't leave a note and your phone is here and I-"

"Breathe," he says gently. "Breathe, please. I'm fine. I- I ended up at the hospital because-"

"You what?"

"Scully, you need to relax, okay? I'm fine. I ran into this young woman in my building and she was in labor and didn't have anyone to go to the hospital with her."

"Emma is having her baby?"

"You- you know her?"

"We saw each other a few times and talked a bit. Our situations were, um, similar." One dad who ran off, and another who died. How often was Scully in his building that she knows Emma and her situation? he files the question away for later. By now, he has a whole book of questions in his head.

"I'm sorry, Scully. I wanted to get some fresh air and then- I had to help her. I had to do something." He's trying to catch his breath and he's still trying to catch up. It's as if someone has pressed fast forward and dropped him in the middle of the action, forcing him to find his way.

"Is she okay?"

"Oh yeah. Mother and child are better than okay. That Tinkerbell has a great set of lungs on her." And he finds he can't wait to meet their own little miracle. Can't wait to hear their first scream, see their scrunched-up face, and try to find who they look like more. He hopes the child will favor Scully.

"Tinkerbell?" Scully's amused question brings him back to the here and now.

"We'll give our child a normal name, right? No Fox or Tinkerbell." She's quiet on the other end of the line and there's no more laughter. He thinks he hears a sniff instead.

"I missed you so much, Mulder," she says quietly, her voice thick with emotion. "I was so scared when I got here and you were gone again. I didn't know what- I didn't-" She starts crying and Mulder hates that he isn't there with her to take her into his arms.

"I'm coming home now, okay? Though you might have to bail me out 'cause I didn't bring my wallet." She laughs a bubbling laugh and he smiles, thinking of her, wishing he could make sure she no longer had any reason to cry.

"That's not going to be a problem. Just come home?" This, too, is new. Scully saying what she wants and what she needs. It feels like a small miracle, too.

"I'm already on my way."

#ficmas2023 #yeah this week is william-heavy #i love the little dude and also he's perfect for fanfic #msr #xf fanfic #my writing #my fic

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auremanaresearchcorps · 2 years

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One thing I love about What Happened in Skinner is how thoroughly they built up the mythology of the world. All the little details of the folklore and ghost stories of Skinner wind up having their origin in the actual history of the island and the cult/religion.

#skinner oregon #what happened in skinner #whis #fiction podcast #id in alt text #modern mythology #modern folklore #cult #ghost stories #rusty quill #rusty quill network #rusty quill podcast #auremana

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numinousmysteries · 10 months

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B'Sha'ah Tovah

@eightnightsofmulder

@today-in-fic

Eight Nights of Mulder Day Eight: Light

[on Ao3]

Note: I had so much fun participating in this challenge and reading everyone else's wonderful work. Thank you @welsharcher, @agent-troi, and @randomfoggytiger for organizing!

December 2000

The crowds in the Hoover building thin out as the holidays approach. Hanukkah starts tomorrow and Christmas is next week, but for Scully time stopped months ago when Mulder disappeared in the woods of Oregon.

The life growing within her is the only bittersweet reminder that the days march on. It doesn’t feel right for anything to flourish while she’s enveloped in darkness.

She wants it all to pause until Mulder returns. But life perseveres. Her hair grows faster and thicker, her heart beats harder as it works to pump more blood through her body, and her belly is starting to protrude. Her stubborn, miraculous baby keeps growing and making its presence known against all odds. Just like its father.

He’s missed so much already. She’s nearly halfway through her pregnancy and it doesn’t make sense that Mulder isn’t here to experience it alongside her. As an investigator, she knows the more time goes by, the less likely it is he’ll be found alive. But as his partner, his best friend, and his lover, she also knows the widely accepted figures and statistics do not apply to Fox Mulder.

She spends more and more time in the office. Only here does she feel like she’s upholding her unspoken promises—to never stop looking for him and to never give up on his work. The more time passes since his abduction, though, the more it feels like she’s spinning her wheels. She’s in constant contact with the Lone Gunmen but they’ve all but admitted the chatter on abductees in rural Oregon has dried up. There have been no reports of a man who fits his description wandering into a hospital or turning up at a morgue in months.

So she crisscrosses the country with her new partner hunting down humanoid bats and parasitic slugs, telling herself it’s what Mulder would have wanted. Ironically, if he were here, he’d tell her to go home, to rest, to take care of the baby and herself, but he isn’t here.

Now that it’s winter, she comes in before sunrise and stays long after sunset. Surrounded by his yellowing news clippings, file cabinets of notes written in his indecipherable (to all but her) scrawl, and array of trinkets and memorabilia, this is where she feels closest to him. Holed up in the basement, she lives in darkness.

Doggett is out for the week and she cherishes the time she can spend in the office on her own. He’s been a good partner, but sharing this space with anyone else but Mulder feels like a betrayal. Even Skinner left early for the day. He came down to the basement to tell her he’d be out until late next week and wished her a happy holiday. He does things like that now–checks in on her. She just nodded, gave him a tight-lipped smile, and wished him well.

She declined her mother’s invitation to join her at Bill’s in San Diego for Christmas this year, and when Maggie offered to stay back in DC with her, she begged her not to. If she can’t be with him, she only wants to be alone.

It’s getting late, even for her, but she isn’t ready to go home. Her apartment is too quiet and empty.

To bide the time before she can sleep, she walks around the downtown shopping district. She likes the anonymity it provides. Here, she can be just another woman doing last-minute Christmas shopping.

There’s an upscale baby and children’s clothes boutique that she often walks past but doesn’t dare go inside. It’s full of beautiful but expensive and impractical items like dry-clean only cashmere sweaters that will inevitably be covered in spit up, drool, and mashed up food. There’s nothing she would ever buy but she knows Mulder wouldn’t be able to resist the impossibly small pieces. She imagines rolling her eyes, but smiling, as he drapes tiny onesies over her belly and insists on spending hundreds of dollars on clothing their baby will outgrow in a matter of months.

She hasn’t bought anything useful or necessary for the baby, either. It wouldn’t be right to do it without him. Her mother keeps asking if she wants help cleaning out her second bedroom for the nursery, but she still imagines that there will be time to do it with Mulder once he’s back. “Once,” she repeats to herself. Never “if.”

Down the block from the children’s shop is a small Judaica store she hadn’t noticed before. A warm glow of light emanates from inside and she’s drawn to pull the door open.

She’s the only customer inside. The store is full of merchandise—intricately carved mezuzahs, Kiddush cups, servingware, and a wall of books in Hebrew and English—but it feels cozy, not crowded.

An older woman with wiry gray hair and black-frame glasses stands at the register near a glass case of jewelry. “Let me know if you need help with anything,” she says as Scully surveys the shelves.

She finds a small selection of menorahs and examines them one by one. There’s one made from shiny silver with inlaid blue stones, and another angular, more modern style. Then her eyes land on a small brass menorah. It’s tarnished in spots but still catches the light. Tiny olive leaves are sculpted along the branches.

“We’re a little picked over,” the woman calls over to her. “Last minute and all, you know?”

Scully smiles and nods at her. “This one is beautiful,” she says, picking up the brass menorah. It feels solid, heavier than she expected.

“It is, right? I found it at an estate sale. I wish I knew more about it but I can tell it’s old, possibly from the mid-1800s, and it’s similar to ones I’ve seen from the Netherlands.”

“I’ll take it,” Scully says. She’s never known Mulder to own a menorah, but it feels like something she needs to do to honor him.

At the register, the woman carefully wraps the menorah in tissue paper before placing it in a shopping bag.

“I’ll throw in some candles for you, too,” she says. “Happy Hanukkah.” “Thank you.”

“And, I don’t mean to assume,” the woman says, her eyes dropping to toward Scully’s belly, “but b'sha'ah tovah.”

“Excuse me?”

“May your baby be born at a favorable time,” she says. “It’s a traditional Jewish blessing. We tend to be a little superstitious around pregnancy so we don’t say mazel tov until after the baby is born.”

“I appreciate that, thank you,” Scully says, bringing her hand to her stomach.

The shopkeeper’s words echo in her mind on the drive home. It feels like the only appropriate thing anyone has said to her about her pregnancy. She’s given hollow smiles and nods to ultrasound technicians who’ve congratulated her and asked how happy she was to be having a baby. Her mother has been a little more sensitive, but Maggie still insists on trying to cheer her up and look on the bright side even though her blessing is tinged with darkness. But: b’sha’ah tovah, at a favorable time. It gives her comfort—the hope that the right time will come, that Mulder will return to her and their child.

Back at her apartment, she gently unwraps the menorah and sets it in the center of her kitchen table. Looking closely at it, she sees there’s even more detail to each individual olive leaf, lines and shading etched into the brass, than she noticed in the store.

The next night, she comes straight home from work and digs a box of matches from her kitchen drawer to light the menorah. She and Mulder once celebrated an improvised Hanukkah with battery-powered candles in an airport bar, so she knows to light the center candle, the shamash, first. Then she places a candle in the far right branch and uses the shamash to light that one, too.

She grins at the improbability of it all: Dana Katherine Scully, star Sunday school pupil and lapsed Catholic, lighting a menorah. She doesn’t know the Hebrew prayer that Mulder recited to her once so she silently says her own. She prays for her baby and for Mulder, prays they’ll be together again soon.

More than two millennia ago, a group of Jews kept a menorah, just like this one, lit for eight nights through the power of their beliefs alone. Like the Maccabees, she’s exhausted nearly all of her resources. To the FBI, Mulder’s disappearance is essentially a cold case with no leads left to track. There’s no evidence for her to analyze or put under a microscope hoping it will guide her to him. All she has left to go on is faith.

The warm glow of the candles reflecting on the brass cuts through the darkness surrounding her. She feels the tiniest flutter within her and it nearly takes her breath away. She brings a palm to her belly and feels it again. Life perseveres.

“Happy Hanukkah, little one,” she whispers. “Next year we’ll light the candles with your dad. I promise.”

#eightdaysofmulder #eightnightsofmulder #8dom #txf #xf fanfic #xfiles fanfic #msr

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darkesttimelinestuff · 1 year

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"No, you won't understand, ever."

Thanks to the 6 people who will actually like my day 16 Fictober fic.

Prompt #23 - "No, you won't understand, ever."

Find me here

To say life had been stressful since Mulder’s disappearance is an understatement. The guilt weighed on Skinner daily. It was harder on days he had to see Dana Scully. And he saw her often.

Skinner took a deep breath and swallowed. He was nervous, palms sweating, and he wasn’t sure why he had called Scully and asked her out for a beer. This was very unlike him.

They had shared occasional dinner or drinks in the past, generally to talk about a case or, more likely, William. He had become very involved in the boy’s life, but he didn't know where he stood with Scully. More than a supervisor, not quite a friend.

“Is everything all right, Walter? How’s your week been?”

“Big political mess up on the Director’s part. It’s above my head, but I’m getting a lot of the blowback. Anyway,” he cleared his throat, “it’s not something I can talk about and it’s not why I called you today.”

“Of course,” she said, folding her hands in front of her, red hair glistening in the dim light above them. She looked beautiful. Even overtired and bare-faced she was gorgeous.

“How have you been, Dana?” He was stalling.

“I’ve been fine. More tired than I ever thought possible. And I survived medical school. But I’m fine. I couldn’t do this without my mom’s help. Or your’s.” She looked at him seriously. A spark passed between them.

“That’s why I called you out tonight,” he said.

She arched a brow at him. “To talk about how tired I am? Because taking more time off is out of the question. My work is too important. I like what…”

“That’s not it,” he interrupted, taking her hand in his, surprising them both. She didn’t pull away, so Skinner continued. “I’ve always had a great deal of respect for you, Dana. And William means so much to me. It’s important that he has a man in his life, a father figure... It would be an honor if you would allow me to help you raise him.”

Scully’s jaw dropped open and she remained speechless for a long moment.

“Sir,” she said, withdrawing her hand from his, “that is very kind and… You clearly feel a great sense of responsibility to me and to William, but you don’t have to do this! We’re doing okay.”

"No, you won't understand, ever,” Skinner protested. “What happened in Oregon was my fault. I think about it daily. But I’m not asking you to be my wife out of guilt. While I don’t kid myself that you could feel the same way, I am quite fond of William. And you. We could be happy together. We could be a family.”

After sitting thoughtfully for some time, Scully clutched his hand tighter. This is where she would let him down gently, tell him she values his friendship and respects him professionally.

“Walter,” she said, voice low and full of emotion, “yes.”

“Yes?” he asked incredulously. “Really?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

That night, while William slept at Maggie’s, Scully took Skinner back to her home. She kissed him and he made love to her once and then fucked her two more times.

Their wedding was small and William beamed at them from Maggie’s lap. They never gave up their search for Mulder.

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mollybecameanengineer · 1 year

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Milestones

Summary: Imprisoned by the Cigarette Smoking Man, Mulder and Scully must work to save their son… and themselves.

word count: 8,418 | Mature | MSR | @today-in-fic

Read on AO3 or check out the first chapter below the break

This is part of an episodic series called A Second Chance. All the episodes are collected, in order, using AO3’s series feature. The concept of the series is to rewrite seasons 8 and 9. It deals with Mulder’s return from the dead, the birth of William, and Mulder and Scully trying to juggle family life with impending doom.

If you don’t want to read the whole thing, but want to read this story, here is what you need to know…

Previously on A Second Chance: After Mulder returned from the dead, he moved in with Scully. (Reentry). Scully, while pregnant, was infected with the black oil and somehow neutralized it (Immunidad). The Cigarette Smoking Man (and a new syndicate) learned of this, and became interested in Scully’s baby. After William was born, Mulder and Scully were determined to keep him safe (Sinister). However, after they learned that not only can William neutralize the black oil if infected, but he was also immune to the Super Soldier virus, Mulder planned to go on the run with William, leaving Scully behind due to the chip in her neck (and therefore her ability to be tracked). However, the Smoking Man got to them first. Mulder and Scully agreed to go with the Cigarette Smoking Man because he promised that he would keep them together and protect them from the alien colonists (who want to kill Mulder, Scully, and William) in exchange for letting him make a vaccine from William’s blood. (In the Space of a Day) When Maggie discovers that her daughter and family are missing, Skinner and the rest of the crew start a search, only to find evidence that Mulder and Scully ran, but died in a car accident. This evidence was planted by the Smoking Man and his associates, but no one knows that, and Mulder and Scully don’t know that everyone thinks they’re dead. Meanwhile, Mulder, Scully, and William leave with the Smoking Man, (Loss) who takes them to a remote military installation in Oregon. There, they are given base housing, and William is examined by the medical team. After exploring the facilities, Mulder and Scully decide that Scully will work with the team to develop the vaccine, while secretly trying to find a way to make William no longer immune, and thus no longer special. (The Gilded Cage)

Chapter 1: One Month

June, 2001

“Hey Scully, say cheese!” Mulder said, pointing a camera at her.

“Where did you get that?” she asked. She was lying with William on the couch, trapped under the napping baby. He was going through a phase where he didn’t want to sleep unless attached to one of them.

It was annoying.

Mulder was still standing there, camera in hand. “I asked for it,” he replied to her question. “Now, smile!”

She tried her best to smile, despite not feeling like it. Mulder clicked the picture.

“I thought it would be good if we had a camera. I think we’ll want baby pictures, even if they are in this place.”

This place. Their prison.

They’d been here for five weeks now. What Scully found the most distressing was, after a while, being here kind of seemed normal. They ate, slept, and tried to keep William alive. She honestly didn’t know that her life would be that different if they were home, other than her only worries would be normal new parent things, rather than being held prisoner and worrying about your child being turned into a science experiment.

But tomorrow things would change. She would start going into the lab to help develop the vaccine. She had wanted to go even earlier, but between her physical recovery and hating to be separated from William, she waited. Six weeks was the recovery period for a vaginal birth, she knew, so she decided she would wait that long.

William was now seven weeks old. It was time for her to work towards getting them out of this place. She would develop this vaccine or figure out how to make William no longer immune to the soldier virus. She would save them the only way she knew how.

Mulder brought over the camera, turning it so she could look at the back. “It’s one of those new digital cameras.” On the back there was an LCD screen, where the photo of her and William was displayed. It was a bad photo. Even with the low resolution, she could see the bags under her eyes and the extra weight in her face that still hadn’t dissipated.

“God, I look exhausted,” she said.

Mulder pulled back the camera to have a look for himself. He shrugged. “Well, it’s been an exhausting seven weeks.”

Scully studied Mulder. He now sported a beard, having given up on daily shaving in favor of weekly trimming. It tickled when he kissed her, but it was also bushy and soft, in some ways better than day old stubble. His black eye had finally healed a couple weeks ago, but there were dark bags under his eyes.

They were getting more sleep than in the beginning, but William was still waking up two or three times in the night. And then there were Mulder’s nightmares and her inability to stay asleep. She longed for the lazy Sunday mornings they’d had a year ago, when she’d sleep a full nine hours, and Mulder would bring her coffee in bed. These days she was lucky to get four hours and all Mulder ever brought her was a screaming baby.

In short: they were a mess. And she didn’t think her going into the lab daily was going to make things easier.

***

A few years ago, if one had asked Mulder if he wanted to settle down with Scully, have a kid, and be a stay at home dad, he would have laughed at you. The having sex with Scully part would have sounded good, but the rest of it was outside his comprehension. He was still searching for his sister, trying to get to the bottom of a vast government conspiracy. There was still so much he didn’t know, like why they took Scully, and what the chip in her neck did. Mulder was the lord of questions, and his fiefdom didn’t hold many answers.

But now? He’d found his sister. He’d been abducted by the same men (and/or aliens) that took Scully. All his searching, all his and Scully’s sacrifices – they’d brought them no closer to the truth. All it had done was hurt him and everyone he loved. He’d told Scully last year that this had to stop, that there had to be an end to all of this.

He just didn’t imagine the end would be them locked away on a military base living a pretend suburban dream.

Scully was feeding William while Mulder prepared breakfast as well as Scully’s lunch. He’d requested a lunch box for her, and just for kicks he’d asked for one with the Brady Bunch on it, mostly to see what would happen. He was surprised when three days later, a metal lunch box circa 1975 emblazoned with the Brady Bunch appeared. It was great – she would hate it. He’d hid it away as a surprise.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” he heard her saying to William in the other room. Mulder knew he was going to miss Scully. They hadn’t been apart for more than an hour since William was born. He was going to have to take care of their child, alone. He knew he could do it, but he wasn’t looking forward to not having any backup.

Not to mention he felt useless, since he wasn’t contributing to getting them out of this situation. He wished he was the one heading out, on a mission to save them all, rather than staying home with the feedings and diapers.

Scully appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, William in her arms, just as Mulder was plating the eggs. She sat at the table, and Mulder soon joined her with the food.

“What are you going to do today?” she asked between bites.

Mulder shrugged. Survive? “I haven’t thought much about it,” he replied. “Probably just watch TV between diaper changes.” He honestly didn’t know what else was on the table with an infant. He’d spent most of the last seven weeks talking with Scully when he was bored. He didn’t know how to fill that void.

***

Scully was exhausted.

When she was pregnant, she’d often wondered what exactly it would look like to return to work after having the baby. She’d always known she didn’t want to stay at home full time, and then when she’d become a single mother, that wasn’t even an option.

She’d thought that after dropping her child off at daycare, she’d have a normal day at work just like she used to. That bit of her life wouldn’t change, it would just be truncated to being between 8:00AM and 5:00PM.

Scully could not have been more wrong. As she’d been shown around the lab, she’d been distracted thinking of William, wondering if he was ok. She was almost glad she didn’t have a cell phone, because she was sure she’d have called Mulder every thirty minutes to check in.

And then there was the pumping. She’d been given a lab bench, but it was in no way private. She’d had to ask her bench mate, Judy, about where she could pump, which set off a chain reaction of supervisors trying to figure that out.

Her first pumping session had been in the handicap bathroom stall, as they were still discussing and she couldn’t wait any longer.

By the time she needed to pump again, they’d found a closet with a lock on it and had put a chair in there. It had a naked bulb and reminded Scully of all the times she’d been abducted and stuffed in a confined space.

She chose to pump in the handicap stall again.

Now she was walking back home, carrying her pump, milk, and ridiculous Brady Bunch lunch box. Thankfully no one had commented on it, but she didn’t enjoy the prospect of carrying this thing everyday. She knew Mulder thought it was funny – and it was – but she needed these people to take her seriously. Or at the very least she needed to blend in. Tonight she would ask him to get her a plain bag, while trying to not hurt his feelings.

Scully found her way to her house, and opened the door. Mulder was in the kitchen, wearing William, and trying to keep something on the stove from burning while bouncing and singing, “Oh you can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need.” Based on William’s cries, he wasn’t in the mood to listen to talk of not getting what he wanted.

Mulder turned at the sound of her closing the front door. “Oh, thank God you’re back.” He quickly divested himself of the baby. Scully barely had time to put the milk in the refrigerator before Mulder thrust the infant at her. “He’s hungry but I knew you’d be back soon…”

Scully nodded, and took the baby to the kitchen table. Once he was latched, she looked up at Mulder. “Rough day?” she asked.

Mulder let out a humorless laugh. “Let’s just say I understand the song Mother’s Little Helper a bit better.” Before Scully could comment on that, he said, “How was your day?”

“Weird.”

“How so?”

Scully didn’t want to tell Mulder how much she’d missed being at home with them. He was evidently already not enjoying this arrangement, and she didn’t want to add any fuel to the fire. “The lab feels like any university I’ve ever been at. No one was really watching me. The only restriction I had was I couldn’t be there alone, and my computer isn’t hooked up to the internet.”

Mulder perked up at the word internet. “The computers have internet?”

She nodded. “But to log into the other computers, you have to have this thing that looks like a calculator.”

“Two factor authentication.”

“I think so. Judy—”

Mulder interrupted. “Who’s Judy?”

“My bench mate. I think she’s been told to keep an eye on me.” Judy seemed nice enough, but Scully had no inclination towards trusting her. “Anyway, Judy would type in a password, then a code into the device, and then put that code into the computer.” Scully paused, remembering that people were likely listening. “But tell me about your day,” she said, pointedly.

Mulder nodded, understanding the change of subject. “Oh, you know, daytime TV and diaper blowouts. The fun never stops. Though I would have won the Showcase on the Price is Right today. Scully, we could have had a boat.”

She laughed. That was all they needed right now: a boat.

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