#slutty year in review :)

[angelexotica]

2023 Tumblr Top 10

1. 909 notes - May 19 2023

2. 838 notes - Oct 12 2023

3. 738 notes - Dec 24 2023

4. 565 notes - Mar 29 2023

5. 556 notes - Apr 9 2023

6. 550 notes - Dec 12 2023

7. 543 notes - Dec 14 2023

8. 521 notes - Nov 6 2023

9. 503 notes - Jun 13 2023

10. 502 notes - Sep 22 2023

Created by TumblrTop10

[fideidefenswhore]

the not directly articulated thesis of hunting the falcon is that while catherine of aragon took henry's literal virginity, anne boleyn took his emotional virginity.

[softladyhours]

I posted 2,174 times in 2022

97 posts created (4%)

2,077 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rat-that-writes

@maxthelocalemeraldmayor

@the-moon-pal

@lady-of-the-spirit

@skeletalheartattack

I tagged 550 of my posts in 2022

#rat<3 - 156 posts

#softie speaks - 77 posts

#markiplier - 42 posts

#unreality - 26 posts

#matt murdock - 25 posts

#thanks for the ask! - 24 posts

#goncharov - 24 posts

#fic rec - 23 posts

#not mine!!! - 21 posts

#markiplier egos x reader - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#also this is making me realize that i think i would be a werewolf if it came down to vamps or werewolves and i…. idk how i feel about that

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

how babey are the egos on a scale of 1-10

dark: 1/10. most of the time he is smooth sexy bastard man but sometimes he is just in need of cuddles. but even when he wants cuddles hes just like in denial about it

damien: 10/10 the most babey ever . constantly 🥺 at you in search of cuddles and kisses the boy is so touch starved when u kiss him he melts every time

actor: 4/10 usually just whiny little dog of a man not really babey material but when hes sleepy he is just 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕

illinois: 5/10 too suave and cool and sexy to be babey usually but sometimes he just cant stop himself from uwu-ing

yancy: 10/10 OHH BABEYYY !!! <3333 the snuggliest man ever. constant heart eyes constant need to be held constant hand holding just sksdfhjfgdd!!!! owo

engineer mark: 7/10 when around the crew he is Not Babey (well… 99% of the time he isnt…) but get him alone and the boy is just 😄💞🥺☺️💘💗🥰😍 he is so touchy he just gotta grab u and just need to look at ur pretty face

Omg these boys make me so softyttttt

- Dark is ofc a big house cat and so he’d VEHEMENTLY DENY any desire for affection or whatever but then he’s practically laying across u ANY chance he gets jshdjsjskskdj I just want him to rest his head in my lap while I give him head pats😭

- DAMIEN WOULD BE ALL NUZZLY N SHIT HES ALSO A HOUSECAT BUT ONE OF THE SUBER CUDDLY AFFECTIONATE ONES (dark has to get it from somewhere right? Lmao) I feel if ur touching damien, the moment your hand leaves his body he unconsciously shifts closer chasing ur touch. Same w kisses I lub he

- Actor is, in fact, a pathetic wet puppy dog of a man and now I’m imagining him coming home from a day of filming and maybe he had to do a really emotionally draining/intense scene and just had a rough day in general so the second he sees you when he gets home he just kind of does sad puppy dog eyes and grabby hands at u and then u both take a bath and have some wine just tryna get him out of that headspace rUAHH I WANT TO TAKE CARR OF HIM!!!!🥺🥺🥺🥺

-illi 67% of the time is just,,,, the hORNiEsT MAN A L I VE and just always trying to fluster u or act super suave and hawt and shit but then you do something super endearing he just internally screams and can feel his soul leave his body for a sec🙃🫠🫡 (bonus points if he’s silently pining and just miserable bc ur just sO PRECIOUS HE PHYSICALLY CANNOT STAND IT!!!!!

- YANCY WOULD HAVE HIS HAND IN UR BACK POCKET EVERY CHANCE HE GOT!!!!!!!!!!! He’d just be so casually affectionate and touchy bless him you’d be just hangin out at lunch and y’all are listening to the conversation at the table and he just kinda wraps an arm around ur waist with a little kiss to ur jaw and it’s just !!!!!!!!! SO NICE!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like despite his anxious/insecure tendencies whenever he’s in a comfortable atmosphere he’s just casually very confident and self assured and I just😩😩😩😩

- DONT! GET! ME! STARTED! ON! ENGINEER! MARK! HES SO NEEDY AND BABY AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! Like yes he is a very capable hard worker who’s very passionate about his work but also he sees you doing your work as captain sometimes and his heart just kinda palpitates a bit sugrisudjdj no matter how much he’d deny it he PREENS under ur praise and will do almost anything just to make i smile and I just AAAAAAAAAAAAA the second u get him alone he’s putty in ur hands and just wants love and affection. Give it to him. Now. Do it.

248 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#4

Drew a little something based off a pic from bestie @rat-that-writes 🥰🥰

@markiplier

251 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

#3

Freckles

Darkiplier x GN!Reader

Warnings: None that I can think of, just domestic fluff with a sprinkling of angst :)

Summary: Dark is feelin sappy and sentimental (with a sprinkling of heartache, for taste)

AN: I’m obsessed with the concept of freckles and moles being the places where past soulmates loved to kiss you the most, so I took that and ran with it -- I hope you enjoy!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It is a quiet Saturday evening.  You have been able to keep Dark away from any extra work successfully, using your sweet kisses and loving promises.  After spending the day in each other’s quiet company, away from the chaos of the other egos, you’ve found yourself laying across the couch with your legs across Dark’s lap.  His gentle caresses along your calf and knee never fail to spark a few butterflies in your stomach.  He had set up the record player to play a variety of moony love songs—as much as he tries to conceal his inner romantic, it makes you so giddy.

You have a book in hand, one that you’ve been trying to make time to read for ages, and Dark simply sits with closed eyes in quiet contemplation.  You can’t recall the last time you had seen him quite this relaxed. His features are soft, angelic even, and occasionally he quietly hums along to whatever song is playing, his deep bass rattling your bones ever so slightly.  It is in this meditative study of your lover that you notice a single freckle, right to the side of his chin.  You can’t help but recall a video you had seen in passing on the internet.

“Hey, Dark?” you ask, careful to keep your volume low.  There is honestly a good chance he has fallen asleep—he could be such an old man sometimes.

You hear a gentle Hm?  His eyes open slightly to look at you, bleary but full of affection.

“Did you know that, apparently, some people think that prominent moles and freckles are the spots where your soulmate in a past life kissed you the most?”

He smiles gently, “That’s fascinating, darling.  May I ask what prompted such an observation?”

You set your book to the side, readjusting so that you’re sitting next to Dark, halfway in his lap.

“I can see that your soulmate in a past life loved to kiss you right—” you place a gentle kiss, “—here.”

It takes everything in Dark to maintain his composure as he is overcome with visions of the past.  He remembers the way that you would kiss him—no, not him but Damien—in that exact spot every time he passed an exam with flying colors.  He remembers noticing the handful of freckles across his chest or the mole on his shoulder, but now realizes that those were never there on Damien’s body. They were, however, placed in almost the same exact spot you would litter kisses whenever Damien would let you be in control for the night.  An almost foreign heat rises to his cheeks, but then he sees you.  He notices the small spot under your jaw where he—Damien—would kiss you to tease and fluster you.  He sees the place on your forehead where Damien would always place a gentle kiss to calm and comfort you.  But Dark can see you now, your brow furrowed in concern.  He forces himself back to the present, placing a kiss on your forehead and pulling you into his arms.  

You’re caught a little off-guard, but you reciprocate immediately.  You’ve seen that look in his eyes before, mostly here and there when you first met.  It was a sort of deep sadness, as if he knew something you didn’t.  You’d always wanted to voice your concerns, console him if needed, but you had been so shy then.

“Is everything okay, Dark?” you ask, timidly, not wanting to upset him further.

He squeezes you tighter, taking a shaky breath.  “Everything’s fine, my heart.”

The pet name makes you blush.

“I suppose I’m just feeling sentimental tonight,” he continues, pulling away from you, but not too far.  He still holds you close but can’t seem to look you quite in the eyes.  “I am simply so grateful to have you in my life.”

You smile at him, gently turning his face to yours and kissing him tenderly. “I love you,” you murmur, pulling away to look at him.  He looks back, his dark eyes soft and adoring.

“I love you too, my sweet.”

You both settle back into each other’s arms, appreciating the music and each other’s presence. Resting your head on his shoulder, you close your eyes, allowing yourself to doze.  Dark breaks the silence one last time.

“Also, just for your information,” he whispers, “I’m sure that you are the reason I have that freckle on my chin.”

You smile and let out a small huff of amusement before replying, “Yeah, sounds about right.”

As Dark hears your breathing even out, it takes everything within him to not let his glassy eyes shed a tear.  His brain is swarmed with painful nostalgia and the misery of having to keep your entire past from you.  The secret bears heavily on what little soul he has left.  He won’t succumb to the misery, though.  You wouldn’t want that.  He instead chooses to focus on the fact that you are here now and that, in and of itself, is more than he could ever deserve or ask for.

273 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#2

how egos respond to u going “pspspspsps” at them

dark: i mean it gets his attention but he will be grumpy about it afterwards

damien: the boy is so clueless as soon as he hears it he is looking around all concerned then he sees u and just “darling!!🥰💕”

actor: is GREATLY offended that u would do this to him. absolutely heartbroken. he still responds to it tho

yancy: he does it BACK AT YOU like a CHALLENGE

illinois: IMMEDIATELY responds and walks over to u, what a good boy

wilford: will put out his gun, probably

I’m LOSING my MIND over this oml

Dark would give you a death glare but I think if you pet him affectionately he would begrudgingly accept his new role of house cat

DAMIEN!!!! Y/N and Celine would have a running bet to see how many times Y/N can get his attention that way without him noticing anything wrong. Let’s just say Celine owes Y/N a LOT of money

Actor would be such a pissy bitch baby about it but I think as long as you gave him some good love and affection he’d forget about it quickly lol

YANCY???????? The mental image of Yancy and Y/N aggressively spspspspss ing at each other has me ROLLINGGG

I think illi would lowkey like it just bc he’d feel special being the only one you pspspspsp at sjhfjejsj

yea Wilford’s a simple man. You spspspsp and he pulls out his gun idek skdjjdjs

660 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Inspired by @your-local-eddie-munson-slut ‘s Matt Murdock version—I couldn’t resist lmao

2,044 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[teddybasmanov]

I posted 3,610 times in 2022

That's 493 more posts than 2021!

1,402 posts created (39%)

2,208 posts reblogged (61%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cottagecorexboy

@xenolinguistics-department

@catella-ars

@teddybasmanov

@ejunkiet

I tagged 3,461 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#redacted asmr - 1,116 posts

#and the post with transfers flies from the mainland - 611 posts

#fanart - 324 posts

#incorrect quotes - 162 posts

#cottagecorexboy - 149 posts

#headcanons - 147 posts

#redacted audio - 129 posts

#chaoskidslaughableattempts - 125 posts

#fanfic - 122 posts

#redacted regulus - 70 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#did watch 'dimi' without knowing there's a whole big plot and absolutely lost it when he started saying маленький instead of little one

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Alright, a list, here we go (finally with descriptions):

204 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

#4

Geordi: *mentions his abusive ex Ben*.

The whole Redacted community: where can I find this guy? I want to roll him into the asphalt! Nobody hurts my boy! *dramatic close up* Nobody.

232 notes - Posted March 27, 2022

#3

Since they got renamed/retitled.

236 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

#2

I want Gavin and the freelancer to go on a museum date somewhere where Ancient Greek/Roman arts are exhibited. They'd walk around holding hands, quietly discussing what they see, until the freelancer's eye catches a sight of something looking familiar. At first they think it's just a famous statue they've already seen somewhere, so they pull Gavin to look closer and there...

The freelancer looking at the statue, then at Gavin and then at the statue again: Is that...

Gavin, just a little surprised: I never thought he actually finished it.

The statue is titled "The embodiment of Eros".

261 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Boys in outfits but it's "Vincent you can't wear that for the Monarchal Summit".

316 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dnptheinfinity]

I posted 7,443 times in 2022

363 posts created (5%)

7,080 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@justasmallbloginabigklainefandom

@deadandphilgames

@combeauferre

@allthatdivides

@polar-bears-making-pancakes

I tagged 996 of my posts in 2022

#why am i like this - 187 posts

#esc 2022 - 34 posts

#eurovision - 25 posts

#answers to things - 21 posts

#q - 16 posts

#sim dan nun - 15 posts

#my very serious college experience - 15 posts

#dodie show spam - 13 posts

#dan and phil - 12 posts

#daniel howell - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#also it’s been 10 years and i still can’t listen to the beginning of somebody that i used to know without thinking someone’s calling my dad

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

outfit concept for when i’m seeing dan in berlin

124 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#4

its that time of year again

190 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

#3

i know australia has a ballad but it’s a queer ballad so i’ll accept it.

196 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

#2

that was the moral of the video, right?

196 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

269 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sgbabereview]

Name: Kat

Age: 20

Estimated bra size: 32C

It’s super thrilling putting this review together outside. After desperately orgasming for Kat and rushing out, I find myself drooling over her sweet tits and getting awkwardly hard in a train. Obviously, anyone looking over my shoulder and seeing her sexy pictures would know that nothing good is being said about her.

At just 20, she has released so many pics of herself for boys to get hard to. If she was my classmate, I’d have a hard time concentrating in class. Lingerie pics, bikini posts, you name the thirst trap, she’s got it.

Kat looks particularly hot in bikinis because for her slender frame, a good bikini top truly draws your gaze to her real talent: her tits.

Obviously, I’m not the first guy to have jerked off to this slutty bikini goddess and let’s hope those tits are only getting bigger in the months and years to come.

Do you want Kat to become the MOST DESIRED GIRL on SGBR? The cum target with the most REBLOGS gets to attain the coveted title! 

Submit your irl sluts and their leaks for review!

[merakiui]

sk!manager!azul who offers to eat you out after you get very stressful from idol activities 😳😳😳😳

👁 👁 he gives you the whole "benefits of being sexually active as proven by science" spiel so you're more likely to agree. That, and it would be much harder to do this with just anyone or someone just as famous as yourself. No one has to know. This will be a secret between idol and manager. Even though you seem somewhat hesitant, he insists you'll feel better. Just let your manager soothe you. You're in capable hands. <3 he's so trustworthy! And hasn't he only ever wanted what's best for you?

Now his head is between your legs and he's lapping and suckling at your clit like an expert, working you open with two fingers. He alternates between fingers and mouth, and any reluctance you may have felt in the beginning quickly withers away. Within no time, you're burying your fingers in his hair and clamping your thighs together to keep him trapped there. He's removed his glasses so they won't get in the way, and every now and then the both of you meet each other's stare. You've never noticed just how beautiful his eyes are. So striking. So hypnotic,,, your brain is mush by your third orgasm, and you're panting and gasping, begging him to keep going. Not like he intends to stop. He's wanted this for years and now he finally has it. Of course he's going to be greedy!

You're not really listening to yourself when you ask him if he's dating or married. You never hear much about your manager's personal life even though he seems to know so much of yours. Azul hums against your slick cunt. Would you be upset if he was? Would you like to put a ring on him? Should he just propose to you now?

If only all of those loser fans of yours knew what you were getting up to right now. All of that nonsense about being a pure idol free of romantic entanglements and here you on squirting for him like the slutty idol you really are. :) you're just too cute. He wants you all to himself, and soon he'll have you. Soon the two of you will live a peaceful life in isolation. Somewhere quiet and slow by the sea. Doesn't that sound marvelous?

He's killed for you. Stalked you. Fucked into his hand while listening to the voicemails you'd leave him on his work phone: "Hi, Azul! Vil and I are thinking of doing a collab. Could you help me arrange something?" or "Azul, sorry for calling so late. I just remembered something important. Can you review my schedule with me again? I think I'm forgetting something you mentioned earlier today..." or "Would it look weird if I started studying to get my driver's license? Do you think that would get me in trouble? Actually, maybe we should just meet up and talk about it in person... Thanks anyways, Azul!"

You're just so perfect. Even these strictly professional voicemails are hailed as the sweetest songs. He's so depraved. Nothing like the composed, cordial manager he masquerades as. Would you hate him if you knew that? Would you look at him differently? Would you stop saying his name in that sweet, breathless voice of yours as he brings you to your end once more? Maybe it's best if you don't know. He's worked so hard to get to this point. It would be a shame to ruin things now.

Besides, what you don't know can't hurt you.

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

MCU Play Toy Pt 2

18+ MDNI

A/N: This one is a bit shorter and I want to do a one shot of it so please expect it~

Also Happy Valentine's day everyone~

-“I just need to make sure in no uncertain terms you know why you're here.” Tony asks in the elevator on the way up.

“You've hired me as an assistant to the Avengers, but we both know that it's deeper than that. I'm going to be their stress ball to fuck and play with as they please.” I say with a smile. “Do you know just how happy it makes me to have been chosen for this? I don't think you do, Stark.” he shakes his head at me.

“Let's see if you still have that attitude after your first week review.”

“Oh I think once I've been stuffed I'll be even happier.”

-Nat is the first to take you. After being introduced to everyone and then Tony dropped you off at your room, Nat found you and took you right against the door.

-Nat has a special place in your heart because of this

-She marked you up, made you call her Daddy and kept telling you how she was, “going to breed this slutty pussy so you can be full of my babies. You'll look so good full of my babies.”

-Her words sent you over an edge you didn't know you had been standing on

-Almost a year into this “job” is when it accidently slips out of your mouth, you were fucking Nat, calling her Daddy and then suddenly as a fifth orgasm rocked through you, “Tasha…mmm m'love you!” She only fucked you harder for this. “I love you too. I love you so fucking much you have no idea.”

[writingoneout]

Untilted Katamari Reflections

Preamble:

Content considerations for the following include:

Parental abuse

Bigotry

Worldly anxiety

You're welcome back another day if that's too much right now.

I.

It’s fall of 2015.

You and your virgin college friends drink shitty cocktails called the “Slutty Will Rodgers.” They’re just Pepsi rawdogged with indeterminate amounts of grenadine and Captain Morgan. When you bought the mixers a Wal-Mart stocker yodeled “OOOOoOoooOH, maKIN sOMe DRINKS?!?!” and you knew it was time to leave.

We Love Katamari is on the Telly. It’s a sweet, trippy game you first bought to cope with high school. On Dark Fridays at 1am, when your inbox was barren and your balls were full, you’d drive to the empty gym downtown and sprint six miles. Then you’d come home and replay the firefly level until you fell asleep with your pug.

Your college friends are bad at the game, so they pass the controller. You’re playing the underwater stage. A spaceman falls in the pond of people gunk and stacked crabs. It’s going really well if you’re honest. You point to the screen and say “this’ll be Florida if Trump wins.” See Fig. 1.

Figure 1: Rick Desantis has big plans for Disney.

Your friends don’t reply because they soon won’t be virgins and their tongues battle each other’s. It’s a different game they play, one with fuzzier rules, but greater industry respect. You wish the campus gym was open 24/7.

. . .

Your skills as the prince are not inherent. You first meet him in 2005, when your dyspraxic hands can barely tie a shoe. Your parents catch you lose shit for the Toonami review of Me and My Katamari. They buy it for Christmas, hoping to steady your nerves while your father’s in therapy.

Dr. Flam is a Neo-Freudian hitched to your mom’s guy, Dr. Flim. She’s deep in your dad’s dream journal and makes him watch movies like Cool Hand Luke to really reign in his ego. He gets the DVDs from the Netflix site, then through the mail. As a family you watch your dad’s therapy films and reruns of Inyuasha.

In the waiting room you barely navigate the sticky ball through Namco Bandai’s Satoshi Kon parade. See Fig. 2. You’ve only seen adults express anger verbally, so when you mess up you grunt a lot and let out those Leopold Butters Stotch swears like “crap,” “shoot,” and “gosh darn.” You’re not particularly self-aware, so you probably just say “god fucking damn it” a few times and don’t remember. Years later you realize there was probably a secretary behind the glass watching you do all this.

Figure 2: Bwahbwahwabhbawahbwaaaaah.

Sometimes there’s a girl in the room with you, just around your age. She’s stuck while Dr. Flim teaches her mom about what dream snakes mean for her fear of male puberty. That's what he did for your mom, anyway.

You think the waiting-room stranger is cute, but you won’t admit you like girls yet, especially not to yourself. To cope with the cognitive dissonance, you do your weird shit louder while refusing to make eye contact with her. If you get real stressed you crank up the main menu track and yell “ahhhhh that’s so relaxing” while the “nah nah nah nahs” play through your headphones.

At one point the girl stands against a wall and stares at you with her arms crossed. You bet she thinks you’re cool, but she’s probably just annoyed and hopes you’ll notice, or maybe just ask if she’s OK. It’s probably good you don’t talk with her. You might ask something stupid, like if she's seen the roach corpse in the stairwell. It’s been there for a year straight, isn’t that crazy?

For better and worse, you power through your little game alone. Every time you lose the King of All Cosmos beats, shoots, and belittles you. See Fig. 3. It reminds you of when your own dad shattered your Harry Potter wand over the kitchen counter because you dropped a mini pizza.

Figure 3: The King of All Cosmos offers little constructive advice, all things considered.

You fail quite frequently. Eventually you drop the game because it’s getting stressful and you have the power to relieve yourself of the situation—not the Freudian lobby, just your fake dad.

II.

It’s 2012. PlayStation Network uploads The Prince’s primeval outing: Katamari Damacy. Within, Padre Cosmotic flaps his gums over too much hooch then slams his dump truck ass through the better part of our solar system. He dislodges every recognized constellation and even the moon itself.

Cosmos sends Prince to Earth—the last brick left in the shitstorm—to make slop of our planet and bodies. With the slop space itself will be made anew. The Good Son does as he's told, and every living entity experiences euphoric ego death within the bulbous heaven of the Katamari.

As a Real Gamer Teen you lose a lot less in this one. You really go in and fix Fake Dad’s mistakes, no problem at all. This is why a year ago you hailed “gaming journalism” as your calling. You write clean and play tight; should keep the lights on. It’s the most concrete idea you’ve had since 7th grade when you outlined a YA novel called Tooth Pocket. Even you didn’t think Scholastic would buy that one, though. It was just too hot for the book fair.

One day you’re cranking through FFVI and your real dad swings by, mad you're young. He grills your ass and says “I bet you can’t even tell me the biggest thing happening right now.” It’s some real “What’s a gallon of milk cost?” shit, he could mean anything.

 Surprisingly, you can’t think of a good answer. You and your friends are actually pretty informed because John Stewart is still at the desk and y’all chime in every day. See Fig. 4. You also spend hours each week tearing through MSN slideshows in your Graphic Design class because the Photoshop takes five minutes. You’ve seen a staggering amount of the Syrian civil war.

Figure 4: Sometimes in Snapchat you draw glasses on your cat to make him look like Mitch McConnel. You wouldn't do that without this guy.

Still, you’re a little stumped. It’s the middle of a phenomenon native to moralist presidencies known as "a slow news week.” You actually ran out of war shit the other day and clicked through some slides about Pakistani wrestlers. The seniors who offered you Jack Daniels in the Whataburger lot saw it and laughed. They thought you were peeping dong in class. You really weren’t, but they didn’t believe you. They graduate certain you were bricked up in the Dell Lab over big guys in spandex.

“I don’t know,” you tell your dad.

He throws his hands behind his head, hard, like an orangutan chucking logs at a poacher.

“It’s the fucking carbon tax,” he yells. This comes as a surprise, you think, because that shit is last month’s news. It really didn’t go anywhere.

“Do you not pay attention because you don’t give a shit, or are you just a nihilist and think you can’t do anything?” You can tell in his eyes he thinks there’s a real answer. “Seriously, which is it?

You don’t remember what you said. You probably just stammered until he walked off.

A month later he picks you up from marching band. Your phone is dead, so he had to wait twenty minutes longer than anticipated while you found his car. He punches the rearview mirror until the windshield cracks then screams of how your birth kept him from New England.

III.

It’s 2016. A rockin’ MILF in the Psych department gets you really into Hamilton. See Fig. 5. Every day you wake up on the grind and blast “You Aaron Burr, sir?” through your shitty 7-11 cans. While cramming foreign language Quizlets and McGraw Hill Online you do this thing called “Hafilton.” It’s where rock up to “Nonstop” and quit listening just before Hamilton decides what he will stop is being a good husband.

Figure 5: Like Kojima, you know "MILF" is a mindset, not a factual inquiry.

It’s 2018. Your grades are notably better and you’ve snuck into the honors program. Like Hamilton himself, you really flourished at 19 and thought about running for office. You immediately abandoned this idea after remembering your allergy to recordings of your image or voice.

You cohabit with the Psych MILF, and she offers some advice: she’s really had her boots on the ground with this whole “clinical psych thing” and honestly, respectfully, she loves you, but dear God it might not be your scene. It’s taken a real toll on her and the friends, and she can’t imagine you going through that shit.

At 1am in your living room you boot up DOOM (2016) and listen through some Hamilton. Angelica is thirsty on main when you remember that you, yourself, could be a lawyer. You don’t have to run for Congress to fight the establishment. There’s just the common law, and it’s right there. You can just get your grubby little hands in that shit and work your magic.

. . .

It’s the last semester of undergrad. Your Western Thought professor says Hamilton wasn’t really a huge deal and really James Madison shat out the big parts of our faction-proof empire. Yes, there was, in fact, a civil war, but the caplock rifle worked it out. After the Federalist papers he has you read the Bill of Rights but no Supreme Court cases. There’s a lot of talk on negative liberties.

Just before finals, the learned doctor says your generation only has two things to worry about: the climate and the poverty. Yeah they’re big, he says, but they’re just two things. You’re crafty kids, smart as the framers, even.

. . .

The state decides law school is your jam and lets you come inside.

There’s the negative liberties but you actually read Supreme Court opinions when the big boys aren’t shaking fists for Valley Forge. They have you listen to Hamilton for context. You feel dirty. An LRW professor puts on the “I’m Just a Bill” video and your sectionmate with Ivy degrees gets really, really mad.

. . .

The Federalist Society has a comfy presence at your law school. Along with Big Oil they sling out free pizza to every Little Scalia with a rumbly tum tum.

On your way to class you hear what the pizza boys feel. They hate Europeans, those social democrats with the rotten armories and clumpy cash. The Euros, they think, give too much wiggle room for the mentally ill, and by that they mean they mean gay people and probably just women overall.

There are more than two things to fix, you think.

. . .

The pandemic hits. You and some pals start a Google Doc to stay afloat. It barely works. In the Zoom review for the property final your professor catches multiple people crying. "You don't have to be here," he tells them, “there are other jobs.”

. . .

A year passes. You’re in a niche public interest class you do all right with. The professor looks you and thirty-five others dead in the eye and says how sorry he is that law school is traumatic. You shed a single tear in your little window. You're pretty in the shit and haven’t worn pants to class in months.

Then public interest prof takes a big, big drag from his long, fat spliff. He spins his desk chair and baseball cap at the same time, never letting go of the joint.

“Hey,” he says. “It’s not your fault, really, but the world is fucked. It’s time to fix what your parents did.”

The next week he gives a practice exam where the best solution is to sell an old lady’s house to Nestlé.

IV.

It’s 2022. After throwing your whole gooch at it, you fail the bar exam.

You fall back hard into exercise. When you’re not slamming Barbri you’re at the gym binging curls and cranking the Chainsaw Man soundtrack. One night on the way to squats you finally hear “Black Parade.” Just like you, Mr. Gerry Wayland is stuck between global disrepair and the desire to write Funny Little Books.

You just started an FLB yourself, actually. It’s spin on a Story Break episode you love. In your version there’s a fucked up civil war horse that moves like a spider and is covered in bugs. Rich people kill the planet then the horse gets lost in space. It’s compelling, you promise. There’s body horror and pirates dressed like Gorton’s Fisherman. See Fig. 6 It’s about the horrors of the contemporary world state. It’ll be fun.

Figure 6: An untapped horror icon. Imagine blood contrasting that yellow.

Big problem, though: you remember rich people love hiking. There’s no grass on Mars, not that good shit anyway. Would they really fuck all of it?

You edit. In the last few years, the real breathless ones, the oligarchs cash their tab. A cartel, they think, could really muscle those stragglers, the tragically common. There’s one city left with both breathable air and refugees. They level it. The few survivors are spread amongst the stars, so their loves and languages may die.

. . .

It’s the middle of Bar Prep Round 2. You and the patient MILF see Hadestown in the Big City.

There’s a juke joint on stage flanked by devil trombones. A sad little guy slinks in from the janitor’s closet. His name is Orpheus and, just like you, he’s a sad, short writer who likes a lady so much it comes out weird. He has a vision, he says, for a little ditty. It’s compelling, he promises, and shit’s gonna change. His love is functional and realized, worth the investment of a hardened woman displaced by capital’s torture. She believes him.

You cry because you know where this goes.

It’s just a single tear.

Don’t worry.

Nobody sees.

. . .

There’s this game you like, by some corporate anarchists who hate themselves. They’re Scandinavian, from the spot in Tallin where you stopped for a cruise. Every gift shop there had swastikas and gas masks leftover from the bloody years.

In the game is a liberal yacht MILF. She thinks you’re stupid but someone’s helping with your gun, so you’ve got that on her. And yet, she pins you, re your whole writing thing. See Fig. 7.

Figure 7: She sucked, but it still hurt when she left.

Your favorite Supreme Court podcast says the ocean’s last hope is other countries. But those countries’ people cry to the Disco game, and their ministers also bought The End of History. You meet them on the subreddit. You're all geeked out, waiting for the tide.

. . .

It’s the era of desert cradles. God thinks you’re disgusting, so he sends his better kids with a memo: the flood was too much work on his end, it’s time for something different.

“Just keep walking,” he says.

Your skin bares his figure. So do the corpses. You little birds among billions, gassed out and screaming, move to clean.

V.

It’s 2023.

We Love Katamari is up on the PlayStation store. You sit with the cats and mow down some crabs. You don’t need it so much these days, but it’s nice.

There’s a Bar card in your wallet, just below your gym tag. There are two interviews in your Google Calendar. Good stuff might happen, hopefully soon. You crawl into bed and wrap an arm around your wife’s rib cage.

Everything matters and nothing is safe.

You are loved enough to sleep.

[t0ast-ghost]

Welcome back to me slowly losing all the marbles in my Star Trek infested head! This is my thoughts on episode nine (Miri):

- *sighs* I miss McCoy…

- OMG MCCOY!!! He don’t need to be here, he’s just standing

- literally sooo normal about them being in the same episode together again

- Jim: picks up random object for no reason. Ah yes give it to Spock

Spock: curious what do I do with this? Ah yes hand it to Bones he’ll know

Bones: what the fuck? Guess I’ll look at this now

they are all sharing a braincell in this moment

- OOPS BONES GOT TACKLED

- Kirk not afraid to slap a bitch (multiple times)

- “of course somebody will fix it” Bones comforting the guy who just attacked him, he’s so fucking caring wtf

- HES DEAD JIM MOMEN- oh never mind he said “it’s dead” false alarm

- goddamn those boots (I want a pair so bad)

- this

- uh oh he’s sick? Oh they’re all sick. But not Spock

- “the bugs have no appetite for green blood” “being red blooded obviously has its disadvantages”

- “spare me the analysis, Mr. Spock, please” THEY ARE LITERALLY MARRIED

- Bones getting called old once again

- the folder against his lip in thought

- NO SHE DOES NOT LIKE HIM

- “eternal childhood” sounds like Peter Pan to me idk maybe

- KIRK BACK THE FUCK UP

- idc if she’s 1000 years older what the fuck are you doing?

- okay I like this group of kids the costumes are well done

- Kirk getting attacked. yippee sounds play.

- “and I do want to go back to the ship, captain” then they smile at each other WHAT

- Hehehe

- “you two can recreate the thinking” bones gives him the ‘who the fuck do you think I am face’

- shittiest photo I’ve ever taken but-

- Jim hugging Janice was honestly kinda sweet

- Jim yelling “where’s Janice” was done so well

- JIM ABOUT TO THROW A CHILD

- Jim your speeches don’t work here

- THE OLDEST CHILD LOOKS LIKE TOMMYINNIT HOLY- I am so sorry

- “I’m a grup… and I want to help you” well delivered

- “bickering is pointless” Spock is sad to see his friend slowly becoming more agressive and scared- I- they- I love them

- MCCOY NO no!

- thought he yelled “fuck” but no just “Spock” I think bones should be allowed to say fuck

- Kirk’s ripped sleeve is so fucking slutty

That’s where I’m leaving this one cause the ending bridge discussion once again makes me so uncomfortable…

All in all really loved this episode. Yes it was cause I got Bones, Spock, and Kirk.

Other episode reviews :)

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

ian and mickey's review if they watch saltburn‼️‼️❓❓❓‼️

(minor saltburn spoilers)

"What a little freak."

-

"The fuck?" "...no, I think I get it honestly."

-

"Mick you'd look hot in that." (sunglasses and chain and trunks) "Mick you'd look hot in that." (homoerotically guzzling from a champagne bottle in a tux) "Mick you'd look hot in that." (open slutty white suit jacket and deer antlers)

-

"They're fucking behind the scenes, right? I mean they gotta be - look at this shit." "I think they're just acting-" "No no no..."

-

"Halloween this year. Already got it figured out." "...who- Felix and Oliver?" "Yep. Start lookin for angel wings." "Wa-... Mick, I don't think they're-...maybe they're not the best couple to represent us..." "What, you tellin me you wouldn't rim my tub drain?" "..." "Just say you don't wanna wear angel wings and be done with it." "Jesus. ...........fine."

[firenati0n]

year in review: favorite lines! :) <3

hello hello! I was tagged by the lovely @anincompletelist in this adorable tag game where we share our top favorite segments from our published fics and/or wips! :)

I only have one published fic LOL so here are some of my favorite pieces from that and three out of four wips right now (four is buck wild to me considering i had zero like ten days ajflakjfds).

i saved some of my real faves for y'all to read in worm fic (i didn't want to spoil my favorite paragraph at the end LOL). I have linked the fic as well as the tags with wip snips :)

from our world, mine and his alone (the midnight train to go)

Deep breath in. “By the way. Digging the cardigan, Henry. Very…” He rifled through his extensive vocab for literally any appropriate adjective. Refined? Boring. Professional? Practical, but also boring.   “Very…?” Henry raised an eyebrow, long fingers wrapped around a cup of tea. Earl Grey, Henry had said a while ago, but Alex couldn't be sure. He had been terribly distracted by said fingers, wondering where else those fingers could— What Alex’s distracted, useless worms in his left temporal lobe decided to supply him with as a response was: “Slutty-English-Literature-professor core.” Alex was going to jump off the train. He was going to change his name. He was going to get a lobotomy, as a treat.  “Excuse me?!” Henry sputtered into his tea, turning red alarmingly quickly. His sexy-librarian cardigan was collateral damage, tea splattered down the front. 

from the full spectrum of human emotion (WIP, The Proposal (2009 movie) AU, eta 2024):

And selfishly, he’s pretty fucking scared for his career trajectory if it doesn’t work out. He can’t start over, he can’t. His resume can’t take it, and neither can his ego.  He can already hear Oscar clicking his tongue and shaking his head, practically taste the disappointment in Ellen’s pitied gaze and outstretched hand. He absolutely cannot give them the silver bullet that goes clean through his erratic heart and wrenches him back home. He loves Austin, breathes it, and yet…and yet. He just can’t return, not when he’s so close. He still has so much to prove, so much to hold up to the sky and say I’m here, I can take it, I did it, I’m good enough. It almost swallows him whole—his overwhelming love for his family, his nostalgia for the Texas sun. But it’s just not enough to—

from queerano de bergerac (WIP, Cyrano / The Half of It (2020 movie) AU, eta 2024):

“Amber, everyone thinks you’re pretty, it is an objective fact. Irrefutable, even.” “Aw, Henry! That’s so nice of you to say, thank you.” She flashes him a genuine smile. She’s sweet, Henry is loath to admit.  “You’re welcome. But. This letter…we need to workshop it a bit. Make it more personal? More about who Alex is as a person, and not who we see him as. What’s below the surface? What are his hidden depths that you are willing to explore? How do you show you’re in love, not just tell?” Amber raises an eyebrow. “Okay. How do I do that?” She sniffs. “I thought I was being so obvious when I asked if he had lunch plans.” “...You asked him if he had lunch plans during our…one lunch period at school?” “Okay, fine! I’m not the best with fancy words like you, Mr. Future English Literature Major.”

from untitled continuation of worm fic (WIP, eta 2024):

If Alex could land Henry's phone number (a bit forcefully, if he remembered Henry's tone correctly) using sheer fucking charisma, he could nail a date with the guy. Easy peasy.  Except. Except for the fact that Alex's brain seemed to rapidly degrade in every conceivable way when faced with Henry's fairytale hair and anime-worthy blue eyes. Henry's presence was lethal for every ounce of Alex's grey matter. With every blink of his doe eyes, Henry obliterated another one of Alex's (already fucking limited!) brain worms. They would writhe in agony, unable to shake the vicelike grip of Henry's charisma, doomed to a slow and sensual death. Alex was so fucked, and not in the fun, safe, and lubed way. 

+

no pressure tagging @ninzied @inexplicablymine @anincompletelist @myheartalivewrites @suseagull04 @priincebutt @sparklepocalypse @kiwiana-writes @onward--upward @nocoastposts @user-anakin @wordsofhoneydew @littlemisskittentoes @happiness-of-the-pursuit @matherines @lizzie-bennetdarcy @celeritas2997 @sherryvalli @gayrootvegetable @ssmtskw @affectionatelyrs @tinyarmedtrex @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @14carrotghoul @orchidscript @rmd-writes @dustratcentral @eusuntgratie @magicandarchery @leaves-of-laurelin @songliili @cricketnationrise @msmarvelouswinchester @leojfitz @dragonflylady77 @cha-melodius and open tag for anyone else wishing to share! have fun :)

xoxo roops

[valiantstarlights]

Personal Trainer Dream being Horny on Main is my life's one true joy

He may even take progress pictures of Hob during the course of his "training"

Week 1 of Relationship

Hob suddenly gets a picture of him taking two of Dream's pianist fingers (and Hob suddenly has to find a way not to be horny on main)

Week 52 of Relationship

Hob gets a short video clip of Dream gently coaxing him into pushing out the toy Hob has been wearing the whole day and Dream pushing in to keep Hob full

I think this ask made my fever worse and took me out for an additional one (1) business day. 😂

But yeah, same 😊 Dream being horny on main for Hob will always be S-tier to me. 🥰

And progress pictures??? 🔥 Yes.

I imagine Week 1 Hob would be super flustered upon receiving that notification. What does Mr. Endless (Dream 🖤) mean by this? Is he praising him for the progress he's making? Or maybe he's asking him to provide an update on his 'homework'?

Meanwhile, Dream sent that picture to Hob simply because he wants Hob to know that he's looking forward to 'training' him again 😏 Like, it's a sext. (kinda) No hidden meanings whatsoever about it. And yeah, okay, maybe he would like for Hob to reply with something sweet like, "I can't stop thinking about you, too 🥰" or a flustered, "Dream! 🥺 I'm at work 🥺🥺" but it's fine if he doesn't. Dream just wants Hob to know how crazy he is about him and how much he occupies his thoughts.

So imagine Dream's face when, half an hour after he sends that picture, he receives Hob's reply. And it's a picture as well?

He makes the mistake of checking the notification.

It's Hob inside a university bathroom stall, trousers down and simple cotton briefs pushed to the side, showing off the (small) buttplug he went to work wearing. He's red in the face, but also smiling sweetly. And the caption is, "Doing my homework! 🥰"

(Dream runs to the staff locker room so quickly to masturbate while looking at Hob's ass and hairy thighs and cute smile. Oh, but what he'd do to be in that stall with him to personally check on his progress!)

As the weeks go by with Dream and Hob exchanging 'training' pictures for updates (it's not sexting! how dare you lmao), maybe Dream thinks that Week 52 needs something special, and so he sends a video instead.

(At this point, his phone's very hidden [and password protected] spank bank is just filled with pictures and videos of Hob 'training.')

Hob still gets shy and squirmy whenever he gets Dream's training pictures of him, but it's a video this time, and ???? Oh gosh, does he really sound like that? He sounds so slutty and well-used, and Dream hasn't even fucked him proper yet.

But it's Dream's voice that makes him whine out loud. His gentle coaxing, and his soft "Good boy," followed by the sound of him finally entering Hob like they've both been wanting to, and the sounds the two of them make as Dream tongue fucks his mouth while his cock starts thrusting inside him.

The video is less than a minute long, but it got him so hot and bothered that he has to cancel his last two classes to rush home (to Dream's house). But then...Dream is home, too? And he's been waiting?

Hob scolds him half-heartedly because doesn't Dream know that he still has a couple of classes left to teach? But he melts when Dream pulls him closer to kiss him. It's just one day in a year, Dream reasons. And anyway, it's a long weekend, and his students would be glad to have more free time.

And...wouldn't Hob want to spend the next few days reviewing everything he learned that year? He's made such a huge progress and Dream is very proud of everything he has accomplished.

(Hob comes to work the following week still dazed but happier than ever. Dream had stretched and fucked him so well, but he also made sure to give him lots of aftercare so he doesn't feel as sore as he should have. His hole still intermittently twitches whenever he remembers their long weekend, but he's wearing a brand new custom made plug keeping Dream's cum inside him from just that morning, so it's fine.)

(Little does he know that the plug vibrates and oscillates to target his prostate. Dream kept that one a surprise, only turning it on when they're both back home. He doesn't want anyone else to see Hob's pleasure-filled face or hear his seductive moans, no matter how many toys he uses to train his cute little hole with.)

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 29 - Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky

I very theoretically read a few of the Strugatsky Brothers’ short stories for a Soviet Lit class in school years ago, but this is actually the first one of their books I can say I actually read and, like, meaningfully paid attention to. I was likewise vaguely aware that this was a very influential book, but only in a kind of fuzzy ‘the STALKER games are based on it, right?’ sort of way.

All to say, I went in basically blind and was actually pretty pleasantly surprised. Both by the quality of the book and by the realization of how much more influential it has been than I had previously realized. The afterwards by one of the authors for the new edition with the tell-all rant about the publication process was also just fascinating in an entirely different way.

The story takes place in a world where at a certain point aliens made contact with earth – not with any sort of communication or even physical presence, but through some sort of process that left zones around the world warped and strange, full of physics-defying miracles and ten thousand different ways to die horribly or end up slowly mutated and wasting away. The story is set around a small town in probably-Canada that was one of the ground zeroes, and about Red, one of the freelance ‘stalkers’ who make a fortune evading the government quarantine and securing some of those physics-defying-miracles to sell to the highest bidder before the official scientists can slowly make their way to them.

Red does not have what you would call a happy life.

The story’s split into three sections, with significant time jumps between each one. Which I did rather like the effect of, seeing how the town changes from a half-abandoned ruin everyone thinks is a month away from demolition to a scientific boomtown and the long-term effects of exposure become more and more well known but don’t stop the rush to exploit the potential riches of the alien detritus one bit. It also allows for a better look at Red’s slow downward slide in both material circumstance and morality.

Red himself is interesting? He’s a very rough, brutish sort of man, the kind who jumps to threats of violence pretty easily when it comes to disputes where he thinks he’s in the right, who doesn’t have the temperament to hold down any sort of steady, boring job, and knows it, and who has a little bit of a complex about all those things. He tries to look out for his friends and comrades, and provide for his family, and that’s about the highest morality he aspires to. Hardly the most original archetype, but it’s very well-realized. No matter how viscerally unlikable he gets at points when you’re spending so long in the close confines of his head.

Speaking of complexes and guilt – one of his overriding motivations for the back 2/3 of the book is trying to provide for and cure his daughter who, almost certainly due to the weird alien radiation he’s saturated with, was born incredibly mutated (in a ‘has fur and is incapable of human speech’ sort of way). Which, again, kind of blunt instrument characterization but the book did do an excellent job getting across the constant low-level soul eating guilt and resentment that basically soaked through him about her and how that motivates just about every major choice he makes in the final act of the story.

And since I’m talking about characterization – look, I get that most of this is just the close POV to a guy whose a complete boor, but my god did the portrayal of women in this just make me roll my eyes. And I like to think I’ve usually got fairly thick skin for this sort of thing – but hard to ignore the fact that the literal only two women with recurring roles and more than a handful of lines are a) the loving, long-suffering but supportive wife who we basically only ever see in domestic scenes and b) the dissolute hot-but-dumb slutty daughter of the stalker equivalent of the local oligarch, y’know? And Red’s internal monologue and how they’re described did not exactly obscure the issue.

Tone-wise – I mean, look, this book is really not helping the stereotype about Russian novels. Which is not at all a problem for me personally, but there is as far as I can tell exactly one uncomplicated heroic devotee of truth and the common good. He dies at the end of part one, and the guilt over it is another load-bearing chunk of Red’s various complexes. It is overwhelmingly a book of flawed, broken, small-minded and selfish people, most of whom aren’t too found of each other. The very ending, with the wish for a better world quite literally hidden away behind a barrier that requires a human sacrifice to traverse, kind of emphasizes that.

The long timeskips and fairly compressed narration means that there’s only really a vague sketch of the wider world – of the corporations and conspiracies who buy what the stalkers sell, of the miracles that exploiting them has allowed, and of how things have improved and/or gone to shit generally – but it’s a really well done sketch. Then again, the ability to have the protagonist be a bit player in wider structures and to gesture at outside agencies with their own schemes that just don’t matter to the plot seems to have been a much more common skill among sci fi writers a couple generations ago. Still, the sort of retrofutristic noir world, powered by alien wonders that some technicians can use but absolutely no one can understand, is well done and appealing.

Speaking of – so this really is a cosmic horror story, and honestly a better one than most modern inheritors of Lovecraft. The universe is wondrous and deadly and strange, it will kill you or mutate you beyond recognition or make you richer than you’ve ever dreamed, but most of all it does not care. Everything from the title on down is used to reinforce that, and the trouble humanity has coming to terms with the idea that to the aliens who have so profoundly changed civilization, we’re literally irrelevant. The descriptions of the environment and the precautions taken to navigate it are – well, I don’t know if they’re just the oldest example of a preexisting body of tropes or the book actually came up with them, but if it’s the latter then I suddenly understand a lot of what influenced some of my favourite works of sci fi horror.

Not part of the story per se, but the copy my library had included both a forward by Le Guin (mostly a reprint of the review she wrote when it was first translated to English in the...70s, I think?) and an author afterwards written in the 2000s about the book’s publication history. Which were both just absolutely fascinating.

[celestie0]

why has no one commented on Gojo shaking reader out like a paralysed cat

and reader falling into formal dialect

I’ve been compelled to make comic fanart for kickoff for so long but there’d be such stark difference with ihm I’d probably just draw these crack scenes

I mean their literally comical

also I been wearing those grandma night gowns for years lemme tell u him holding her waist with his work man hands is hot

yk the theory

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS2RdrMMv/

I mean I wear em full length but girllll easy access cause who tf sleeps with a bra

And while he’s in that slutty sweatshirt with his slutty hair and slutty scent after she just drank up the bare expanse of his body

Y/n leashing herself so not to mount him on the ground is the realest shit ever how’d u write sexy in the crackass context

but I just imagine her straight up climbing his back like a koala while he’s still crouched down

and I shan’t blame her

girl it’s 2 in the am I’m so sorry

-spinster anon 😪🥱😴

(ps. I actually haven’t gotten to reading the full chapter yet since I’m not as on topppp of ihm as kickoff so those are just my thoughts from skimming once it just dropped but I promise a more meaningful review is pending once I get to reading it after this weeks plethora of assessments

i never even ended up finishing chapter 2 bc I got emotional and fell asleep after one of the scenes with readers mum I know everything that happens from skimming but I still have to read it)

holy shit it actually is 2 in the am

xx

hiiii spinster bb omg so sorry im all over the place w answering my asks but ive read all of yours and they have me cackling/smiling and will respond soon xd

LMFAOOO yea the part where he shakes her out was so funny in my head. i want to get shaken out by big man gojo 🙁🙁 yea the formal dialect part too was so stupid BAHHAHA

also OMG IF YOU MADE ART FOR ANY OF MY FICS I’D SOB!!!!

PLS YES THATS EXACTLY WHY I MADE HER WEAR GRANDMA GOWNS 😂😂 theyre not traditionally “sexy” but likeeeeee those gown had grandma’s bills PAAAIIIDDDDDD 🤭🤭🤭 yea i wear those gowns too and they’re honestly such a vibe it makes me feel like a lil housewife 😭😭😭

thanks sm for the sexy in the crackass content comment bahahha i was worried the scene wld be a lil too unserious but tbh there will be serious sexy moments too hahah i’m just tryna have fun wherever i can before we get into the angst 💀

thanks sm for your words n review bb i appreciatee ittt ❤️❤️ i hope you got some rest!!

[sgbabereview]

Name: Elisha

Age: 21

Estimated bra size: 32D

This goddess may have a lean and tight body but those melons are huge! At just 21 years of age, Elisha has been so willing to show so much of her body to the rest of the world.

Everyone loves a slutty girl, especially one who is unafraid of posting photos of herself with so little to cover her up.

As you can see, she invests in pretty well supported bras to ensure they stay perky and firm. Hands are also a good form of breast support!

Her preference for lace is very clear and I’m sure she’s chosen that because she feels sexy in them. It is also clear that she knows that’s what boys love and has helped me bust out a huge load for her.

Do you want Elisha to become the MOST DESIRED GIRL on SGBR? The cum target with the most REBLOGS gets to attain the coveted title!

Submit your irl sluts and their leaks for review!