#smth smth hair holding memories so no matter how far you go it can always lead you home

[slverblood]

I think what makes the most sense is if Aylin has extremely short hair for a long time post-canon, almost shaved if not shaved at times, and then eventually grows it out again. Short hair is just easier to manage when she's already struggling and overwhelmed and adjusting to life after a century of torment. She's also trying to reclaim some power over the trauma of it being cut against her will by essentially revisiting what happened except now she's in control, she's holding the shears. As well as ensuring no one can ever take her hair from her again. She's cutting it off and burning it; there's nothing for them to take. It's an imperfect way of coping, but honestly show me a perfect one.

It's a long time — I'm talking years — before she decides to grow it out again. It's part of an attempt to move beyond what's been done to her, to rediscover how she wants to look not how she thinks it's safe to look. It's another way of reclaiming autonomy and power over herself, wearing her crown of hair in spite of those who would take it from her. It's also done in memory of the people, especially the women, she loved in her past. Erlona, the Four Moons, the priestesses in the temple — hair care was a shared ritual. Even Meadowlin brushed and braided her hair. She struggles a lot with physical touch after being freed, and she's hard on herself about that; she used to be so free with it. She used to fear nothing. But, it starts with trusting Isobel to help with her hair and slowly grows to trusting other people. She has a community again; she has family and friends again; she can trust and be safe and be loved.

Maybe there will be periods where she cuts it again and grows it out and shaves half and styles it a different way and dyes it. Ultimately, it's not about the hair. It's not about beauty or even femininity. It's about what the hair means to her. Having control over her own body and how she presents it. Having a connection to the community, to the people, that were her home. Carrying those rituals of intimacy forward into new relationships, feeling safe and loved again.

[pudding-head-kenma]

Midnight Boba [ Bokuto x Reader ]

⤔ request: danieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee will u right me smth abt boba and also bokuto working at a boba shoppp please hehe (jk u dont have to but id love it big smooches mwah)

⤔ a/n: i hope this is okay baby 💕

*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*

               The sudden crash next to you startles you awake, forcing you to sit up in bed as you look around, disoriented.

               For a few seconds, you’re completely lost. Having woken up so suddenly by such a loud noise made it a little harder to focus on your surroundings.  Once you do, however, the problem is evident, and you find yourself shaking your head with a fond smile as you imagine the scene just outside your window.

               You get up, watching where you’re stepping as you expertly avoid the small glass shards on the floor, the gentle breeze from your now-broken window helping your speeding heart relax. You lean down, picking up the large rock that sat in the middle of the broken glass, no doubt the culprit to the mess that is now your room.

               Although thinking it through, the culprit is probably standing just outside in the dark, hands tugging on his hair as he desperately tries not to shout at – you glance at your clock – thirty past twelve at night, surely freaking out about his mistake. He’s probably trying to find the reason his plan hadn’t worked – had he not planned it long enough, when he thought about it all night? Had the rock been too big? Is he just incredibly strong?  In the end, it doesn’t matter, because you’re making your way towards the window and looking outside, spotting a very dishevelled looking Bokuto.  And as your eyes meet, he forgets trying to find the reason his plan failed, and instead loses himself looking at you.

               You smile. It’s a gentle smile, if not a bit sheepish, but it doesn’t matter to him, because it is your smile. He returns it twice as strong, the usual happy grin forming on his lips, completely overpowering you and making you forget about the ruined window you’re looking out through. He looks embarrassed, regretful, and apologetic – above all else, however, he looks happy.  All he wanted was to see you, the method is irrelevant.

               With a number of over-the-top hand movements, your boyfriend manages to explain – well, something.  He’s not exactly discreet or straight to the point, so you have a hard time following his rant just by his hands. You do, however, understand he’s calling you to go downstairs to meet him, so you press a finger to your lips in order to quiet him down and step aside, finally breaking eye contact.

               You throw on whatever clothes you find lying around, not particularly interested in dressing fashionably so close to one in the morning, and grab a pair of sneakers to take downstairs. You tip toe through the house, making sure not to make too much noise in case you’ll wake someone up, and put on your shoes once you finally reach the front door. As quietly as the door will allow it, you step outside, the keys rattling as you drag them with you.

               You had expected to be greeted from afar, but you certainly didn’t expect to be held tightly against someone the second you stepped foot outside of the door. His touch his gentle, it always has been, but he holds you as tightly as he can without pushing it too far, craving the proximity it holds. You have to stop yourself from giggling, instead wrapping your arms around him in return, never as tightly, but just as lovingly.

               “I missed you.” He’s the first to speak, the words muffled against your skin from how he’s holding you, mumbled in a hurry, yet so clear to you. You tightened your arms around him in reaction to the sweet words, nodding your head in agreement. You missed him too, of course.

               “It has only been a few hours, Ko.” You murmur sweetly in return, though you’re not sure why. Neither of you care about technicalities, too immersed in each other to care about waking up early tomorrow, about seeing each other in a few hours anyway, about having parted ways not even four hours ago. Perhaps you say it teasingly, pushing his buttons just a little, just enough to hear the whine against your skin, enough to have you smile.

               He knows you’re right, of course, and he doesn’t take it personally. He does act accordingly to how he always does, however, making a big scene out of such a small fact. “And so what? I’m allowed to miss my baby, aren’t I? Did you not miss me?” He interrogates, and as you pull away to stare at him you notice the way his cheeks are ever so slightly puffed. You take notice of the glimmer in his eyes when he looks at you, and of the way he doesn’t let go of your waist even after you’ve parted from your tight embrace.

               You can’t resist. You chuckle, breathless and faint, more than used to his silly outbursts. You lean forward, brushing your lips together for a mere second before both your eyes close, and you lose yourself all over again as you kiss. It’s not long, it doesn’t have to be, small kisses that end and restart quickly, one chasing after the other once and waiting for the opposite next time, and that seems to work wonders to distract him for a minute. “I always miss you.”

               He glows when you tell him that. It’s as if energy fills up his body completely, and all he can think about is you, and what he wants to do with you, and how he wants to keep you close for as long as possible in order to keep this feeling for as long as humanly possible. “Let’s go on a date!” He seems to have forgotten the time, because he has reverted back to talking in his usual tone. To be fair, you’re shocked he lasted more than a few seconds whispering.

               “When?”

               “Right now!”

               He speaks like you’re silly for asking, and truthfully you do feel a bit foolish. After all, it’s Bokuto, it’s no surprise he’d want a date in the middle of the night. Just like it’s no surprise he came to your house and broke a window instead of using his phone to let you know he was outside. So you go along with it, nodding your head in agreement. And that’s all the confirmation he needs before he’s dragging you along, your fingers interlocked as you walk around the empty streets.

               “You feel like having boba right now?”

               That’s enough to have you laugh a little harder, though you’re still trying to stay as quiet as possible as you walk through the many houses on the street. His words are enough to have you recognise the path you’re taking, to the boba store he works at. It’s a part-time thing, a way to get a little more money, but he seems to think working there makes him an expert at making the drink. In reality, he’s just a server. You remember one time before the place opened he insisted you showed  up to get a free drink, and you had both ended up having to clean the place in a hurry from the big mess he made.

               “Why are you laughing? I can totally do it this time!”

               You’re laughing again, but it’s by no means meant to be mocking. The memory makes you happy, and although cleaning had been extremely stressful since you were on a deadline, his presence had made it all worth it. It always does, really. “No reason. I’d love some.”

               He beams, energised all over again. You can’t exactly remember when, but you’ve started running instead of walking. Well, he started running, and your interlocked hands make it so you have to chase after him. However, it’s not the hands that force a smile to spread across your lips – that’s just the aura he oozes, the bright happy glow surrounding him and slowly surrounding you as well, the warm feeling in your chest whenever you see him smile.  

               You eventually make it to the small shop, and after a few seconds of fumbling with the keys – probably from being overly excited – Bokuto manages to open the door, stepping inside and turning the lights on. You like seeing the shop like this, completely deserted, the only sounds being your footsteps echoing through the room, followed by a loud gasp from you.

               Your boyfriend is insane, he has to be insane.

               You glance away from the scene in front of you, instead glancing at him for any sort of explanation – but he’s just smiling, he’s just showing you the same big grin you’ve grown attached to, gesturing around towards the table as if your attention should be on it and not on the amazing person next to you.

               It might be sleep deprivation, it might be the shock, but you feel like crying. Your legs don’t want to move, and yet somehow they do, both at the same time. The latter seems to win, and you catch yourself running towards your boyfriend, wrapping your arms tightly around him. For the first time in your relationship, you might be squeezing harder than he is.

               “I told you; I missed you.”

               You pinch his side in order to shut him up, but that only manages to push him further. He pulls back a little forcefully – not that he doesn’t like the embrace, but he really wants to see your face right now. His grin hasn’t been wiped off, you doubt it will be anytime soon, and he’s eagerly searching for any reaction. You grin widely, mirroring him, and glance back at the table again.

               You don’t know when he had the time to prepare it, if he had done it himself or if he had asked someone for help. What you do know, however, is that somehow the two slices of cake are aligned perfectly with the table cloth, and that the flowers’ soft colours are the same shade as the two drinks next to the cake, and you can’t even begin to imagine the amount of effort, planning and dedication it must have taken him to surprise you like this.

               He seems a little hesitant, seeing your wide eyes staring at the arrangement, so he starts fidgeting in his place. “Too much?”

               “Just perfect.” You blurt out quickly, not letting him doubt himself for a second. You move enough to rest your forehead to his, noses brushing together as you do, and your eyes close, finding comfort in his embrace all over again. You smile for good measure just before you mumble again. “You’re perfect.”

               That seems to calm him down, and you stay in the same spot for just a few seconds before dragging him towards the table, pulling the table for him to sit down. You laugh at the way this seems to offend him – not because he thinks it should be the other way around, but because he wants it to be the other way around.

               Bokuto knows you spoil him. You take care of him, you help him through his bad times, you listen as he talks and talks about volleyball, as he rushes out his words, as he’s all over the place all the time, as he breaks your window and drags you down a few streets just because he misses you. So, in these moments, he wants to spoil you in return.

               You jump in your seat as he starts playing some heavy metal song on his phone, and he seems to be startled as well, if the shriek he lets out is any indication. His phone gets thrown half way across the room – as if that would quiet down the noise – and he’s soon chasing after it, managing to pick the right playlist instead of whatever he just clicked on accident.

               “That was part of the plan. I needed an excuse to come over here to get the candles.” He rushes out, and although he doesn’t expect you to believe it, you nod your head in understanding, agreeing to his silly story for the sake of making him happy. After a few minutes, he does manage to find a single candle, only to realise he didn’t bring any matches or a lighter.

               It’s a little comical; such a romantic setting to the left, but your eyes are focused on the right as your boyfriend awkwardly – and very nervously, one might add – tries to light the candle with one of those oven lighters from the kitchen,  managing after about three neverminds and four yells. And yet, somehow, it’s still romantic. Because it’s him. That’s just how he always will be.

               When he comes back, you both chat a little, taking in this precious moment you have with each other. It doesn’t bother you when the clock strikes three in the morning, it doesn’t matter that you’ll not get a good night’s rest, it doesn’t even worry you that someone might notice you’re not home.

               As you lie together on one of the small couches, barely fitting, having to hold onto each other for dear life, you conclude there’s no other place you’d rather be. There’s no clean room with no broken windows that would make you want to leave this place, that would make you forget this feeling.

               He feels the same.

               And if you aren’t sure, just in case, he turns to you in order to whisper it.

               “Thank you for loving me, Y/N.”

*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*

taglist: @cleopatera​ ; @kunimi-bby​ ; @snazzieyama​

[ironmandeficiency]

day two: captain hearth & achilles

get ready for day two!! these guardsmen have a lot of sweet & a lot of sad in their stories, so buckle up y’all. these two boys do have ships w other oc’s, so if you wanna know more i’ll gladly share (and there’s probs a ton that i’m missing so 🤷🏻‍♀️)

crane, jamie, & crow belong to my dear friend @capricornrabies and the art was done by @persaloodles

playlists: captain hearth and achilles & skadia

fics: home (achilles x reader), you’re just harder to see than most (achilles x skadia)

trigger warning: suicide, civvie-initiated violence against the cg, character death

literally so kind and he actually has brain cells

literally so kind and he actually has brain cells

known for giving bomb ass hugs

has flame tattoos that start on his wrists (where two black bands w/ a brick-like patterning make circlets) and go up toward his elbows

will never hesitate to help someone else in need no matter how it affects him

named for the goddess hestia, of home and the hearth partly bc his hugs make ppl yearn for a home they never had

his callsign is “fire” in asl (spreading hands into fives and w palms facing you, bringing hands upward and wiggling fingers slightly)

doesn’t understand why ppl love him so much but doesn’t question it

best friends w crane and will give him habitats for crane’s bugs after extensive research over what they need

can naturally cook SOOO WELL, like no one even knows how bc the longnecks sure af didn’t teach him. crane will sneak him ingredients sometimes and snoop will send follow-along videos for recipes he thinks hearth should try, typically including snoop’s senator friend

didn’t talk to thire for a week after he insulted hearth’s cooking

knitted who a scarf with the colors of several battalions and since then, began to knit care packages to be sent to his brothers on the front lines (blankets, scarves, gloves, etc.). was able to enlist the help of morticus to lighten the load and when the 501st is on leave, they like to knit together and talk shit abt their bros

was accidentally pranked by crow and it had disastrous results. hearth was trying to get fox some dinner and when he opened the door to fox’s office, where the glitter was rigged, hearth was covered in red glitter and a perfectly good bowl of soup was ruined

adopted angry boy achilles and when he noticed achilles intentionally trying to get himself killed, had yelled in anger for the first time

hearth calling achilles on his shit is the one time people see hearth angry about anything bc normally he’s the most loving dude

hearth, being named for hestia, normally the “flames” of his personality are akin to a soothing fireplace made to comfort and chase the chill away, but his anger is a wildfire that no one thus far has been able to control. you have to let hearth deal with his anger on his own until he’s able to quell it down, man doesn’t know what power he holds when angry bc he just doesn’t use that emotion hardly ever

but back to achilles diving into danger and hearth calling him on it

hearth feels incredibly guilty abt yelling afterwards and tries to find achilles to apologize, but it was too late

man ended up holding his vod’ika as he died, glad that achilles wasn’t suffering anymore but miserable bc he failed good brother

used to have long crimson hair he’d let achilles braid when the latter was coming down from his fits of anger or depression. after achilles died, he kept it trimmed to a regulation buzz. still keeps hairties on his wrist as if he still needs to tie it up bc it’s muscle memory to put them on in the mornings

you see hearth and think he would immediately be attracted to the softer and kinder people the world has to offer but no

this man is head over heels for the far angrier, blunt, and nearly indifferent jamie (belongs to @capricornrabies also). she’s a police captain w the coruscant police and has a reputation for being grumpy

jamie has cybernetics/prosthetics (hand, and eye at the minimum), and sometimes they malfunction, that’s just what they do. he learns quick the ins and outs of taking care of someone w/ prosthetics and is super gentle

soft dom (and a sprinkle of brat tamer) vibes

jamie has a younger sister named jacob (you’ll learn abt her later) and they’ve been thru hell. jamie’s prosthetics/cybernetics were punishments from handlers for not performing to their standards (think of smth akin to hydra & the winter soldier program, that kind of cruelty).

jacob and jamie were born into poverty in the lower levels of coruscant, so when a program to have steady employment came up in exchange for genetic testing they took it

she is very mistrusting but it comes out more in rash anger and being an ass

when she sees her sister start to become more domestic, jamie is upset but then does the exact same thing with hearth

was like a big sister to achilles bc big sister instinct told her to protect this soft angry bean

jamie is a very avid practiced of the tough love and it’s useful when hearth needs to be reminded to get out of his head

achilles

inspired by the song “achilles come down” by gang of youths (OWW)

was basically adopted by hearth when he joined the guard and had no idea what to do abt it

was too used to being the one to take care of his brothers, being the oldest of his batch back on kamino. but after one brother died in a training simulation & two were decommissioned, he lost hope and isolated himself from his kih’vod until they were all stationed somewhere he wasn’t and he couldn’t worry

has really bad anxiety & hearth would let him braid his hair to come down from attacks. it was very soothing to both parties & hearth personally liked the braiding the best when achilles did it

don’t let his outbursts fool you he is an absolutely precious and loving soul. would give the shirt off his back to someone in need

very shy when it comes to romance. wants what’s best for his s/o and dates are the few times where he feels truly safe to open up and be happy

this sweet boy gets to show off all that sugar sweetness w skadia, who belongs to @roseofalderaan . embraces her culture, shows her what it’s like to truly love, the whole nine yards.

skadia has wings and they’re his favorite thing ever. he’ll run his hands thru them, help her preen. absolutely adores it when she cages him in w them

they loved to dance together, typically something soft and slow where they could hold each other as close as possible and get lost in the moment

after being in the guard for a few years, he was disillusioned and angry with life bc he saw how clones were treated & that nothing was done about it, both on kamino and coruscant

tried to do things abt it himself but they always backfired, thus resulting in him getting demerits and beat up by civvies

hearth would be the first one contacted when he limped back into the barracks and was always walked to the medbay by his ori’vod (sometimes letting achilles rest most/all of his weight on him as they walked/limped)

one of these times, he tried to call out a merchant for being racist against clones but got jumped. from there, had started to intentionally endanger himself on missions

stopped listening to orders and would charge into bad situations with the intent to get himself killed

hearth is the one to call him on his shit. achilles ends up feeling incredibly guilty for making his ori’vod angry and in his guilt/anger, left and provoked the merchant from before. the merchant killed him and hearth was only seconds too late

in short this absolute angel deserved more than he got

[bullets-and-masks]

Fantastic Flustercuck: Lore, Interesting points, and a little thinking through

Here we go! This list is really, really big. I’ll do a short analysis/critic later on, but I want to get this out now! We’ll have 4 sessions: 1. Krieg and the Crimson Raiders 2. Krieg and Maya 3. Krieg and Himself  4. Final Notes 

Session 01: Krieg and the Raiders

Sane Krieg starts by calling Psycho Krieg him; and dividing their mind between two minds, as if there are thoughts only Psycho Krieg has that he can’t access and/or understand 

There’s a constant JACK voiceover that can be heard anywhere. Sadly, I didn’t catch the words, but sounded like the pre recorded messages at the preserve in Bl2

The first section of the DLC, the Castle raid, is considered imporant because it’s the first mission Krieg did along with the Crimson Raiders after a while 

During this section, we fight the raiders

Brick and Modercai come first. They talk about how Krieg is too crazy to be a part of the Raiders. Sane Krieg does not want to fight them. Psycho Krieg fights - but it’s fear

Tannis quickly accesses it as fear of rejection. Krieg always had an issue with how the Raiders see him 

Despite this Sane Krieg does know they’re friends, his family 

Also sane Krieg uses the word oaf and that’s like... really funny 

In this, Tannis says she relates to fear of rejection, but quickly corrects saying she doesn’t care 

There’s the implication that Krieg’s eye was clawed out by a skag 

The “Evil Lilith” inside his head calls him an animal, a beast, a weapon just to be used. Says they never cared if he lived or died

Sane Krieg quickly corrects this isn’t how she spoke to us

Lilith is tagged as “Scary fire lady” and that’s kind of adorable

Sane Krieg shows Psycho Krieg an old memory about how the Raiders treat him, and it’s the Raiders inviting Krieg to a bar. They don’t mind how he acts and laugh along with him 

But Krieg follows from a distance

The Raiders guard his buzzaxe = strenght and attack

Krieg has a dialogue with himself that goes sorta like: Sane Krieg: (smth about finding out who is he, really) Psycho Krieg: Fragile Things

Sane Krieg also mentions wanting to learn dance, saying he has to exercise to keep his abs, calling it “lean muscle”

Session 02: Krieg and Maya

Oh boy

As soon as they see a memory of Maya, Sane Krieg wants to be careful. He doesn’t want the memory corrupted like the Raiders’. 

Krieg KNOWS she is dead

Sane Krieg says Maya is the only thing he and Psycho Krieg ever agreed on 

despite this, during the DLC they seem to get along better and better, Krieg is really working on themselves

Maya drops her book before proceeding. The player has to go after. Flowers grow on the ground where we walk

Tannis states diferent brain activity readings at this point, saying Krieg can really focus on Maya 

Maya is taken by Locomobius, the monster train, and Sane Krieg says it’s because at the time they met, Psycho Krieg thought the train was taking her

Maya tells him in a goodbye ECHO: “No matter how far appart we are, I’ll always be with you.”

The name of the mission to catch Locomobius and free the memories of Maya is what love remains 

Sane Krieg says the memories are all he has left of Maya

There’s a flashback to when they met, and it shows that Maya invited Krieg to come with her because he showed knowing how to fight 

She does call him Big Guy constantly

Krieg has memories of Athenas, implying he has been there 

Athenas is guarded by eridians, here funcioning as guardians to the memories of Maya 

This is all viewed by Tannis as the protections of a grieving mind

The flashback about when they met also reveals that Krieg expressed he didn’t think he had anything to offer Maya and she understood him 

It it’s not explained, whoever, how she understands him, but it’s very strongly implied that she sees his through thoughts/the translation of psycho speech

Maya guards his gauntlet = his defenses and hope 

Even now, Maya is still a figure of hope for him 

Sane Krieg complains about how Psycho Krieg lost a watch that he cared for

Session 2.5: Maya’s Spirit

Maya’s Last ECHO Maya leaves for Krieg one last ECHO that explains why she’s staying on Athenas for an indefinite time - to teach Eva.  She says she knows she’ll pass her powers to Eva which implies she suspects her death could be soon.  She says she can feel all the sirens that came before her like energy flowing, and says that if she days she’ll be among the stars waiting for him.  There’s the quote, from her: “Even death and time can’t keep us appart from each other.”

The Spirit Maya stays in Krieg’s mind in a shining black and white form. At first, It looks like it might be his perception of her, the way she appears in his mind, but upon further triggering dialogue, there’s a lot of things told from a perspective that make it sound like Krieg didn’t know, and that also Maya is aware of this new form for her.

Quotes say: 

that she never thought she could care about anyone the way she cared about Krieg

says that Krieg’s mind is less messy than she thought it’d be

had noodles in Minus-Prime, and loves it 

she dyes her hair!

Maya says with all the words Siren’s have the power to leave memory on objects, memory that are almost a spirt 

So this could be a fragment of Maya, alive in Krieg’s mind through the last ECHO he ever got from her

Also her spirit also mentions that one day a hotel showed up in Athenas, she slept there, it was a super interesting place, and she woke up lying on grass the morning after. Mancubus’ traveling hotel? 

Session 03: Krieg and Himself 

And Hyperion. 

Krieg was at Hyperion to do a job at a lab

but then was “taken” by them. also not specified if he was taken for doing the wrong job, or he was there not hired by them and was captured 

It is not specified what job, but he does mention he was a mercenary

The scientist responsible for him was Dr Benedict, and the called the subjects rejects of society

Sane Krieg says the lab saw the subjects as just meat. This is easily read as way Psycho Krieg registers meat as something that matters so much

Dr Benedict considered/might have done it: sweing the mouths of subjects shut or extracting their tongues so they couldn’t complain 

Sane Krieg was really soft y’all... He fights a rat while imprisioned and names it Tawanda - unclear what happens to it - but Krieg says they’ll take care of each other

Krieg tells Tawanda “I’m called Krieg”. In a further ECHO, Dr Benedict calls Krieg Subject 24C. So Krieg really isn’t his name, and he can’t remember it 

There’s an audio from Dr Benedict about an non specific subject asking to see his son, which the dr considers crazy, but all the others audios, even if not mentioning Krieg by name, seemed to be about him...

Sane Krieg sits along with Pyscho Krieg in an aparent crumbled cell space watching shadows that he calls The World. It’s Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, here showing Krieg is content with the world presented to him, unable, weak or even afraid to explore. It speaks to a false meaning he found to have the sense of living without having the strenght to do so

the player destroys the allegory, thus freeing Sane Krieg to see the actual world, a further step in regaining his mind as a world to really live in - he truly was trapped in himself

Bloodlust is a type of psychosis studied by Dr Benedict. It’s unclear wheter he created it, or what is behind it, but he uses a gas to infect people

considers making a gas bomb to infect whole populations

there’s a line from the Dr about how brain probing worsed pyschosis

the gas didn’t affect Krieg like the others - it is also unclear why 

a mission with a Fear Mom, completely referencing the Clockwork Orange, tells Krieg to drink Milk to grow strong so “no one will hurt you ever again.” This could be read as remnants of his past self, creating a place to feel cared for someway, but also embracing the ultraviolence of his being and the brainwashing he went through

this side mission rewards a gun with the flavor text our eyes are yet to open like a baby, or like someone who lacks clarity 

Krieg cared a lot about people before going insane. He holds strongly to a sense of right and wrong he calls goodness, and values innocence a lot

The Psycho personality is a schism that showed up in several test subjects that manifested the same personality

Dr Benedict wanted to change the subject pool to see the relation and considers an elementary school class

Also considers putting the gas in water supply to infect people since the gas won’t work on open areas

Psycho Krieg saves Sane Krieg when he had given up on scaping 

It is a bloodbath Psycho Krieg calls Tea Party

Sane Krieg sees this realization, about being saved and the Vault Hunter being inside his head, as Psycho Krieg letting people in

Hyperion kept his mask from him = “false face is protection”

Upon defeating the boss, the Gigantic Krieg tied to an experimentation bed fades.

After taking the mask, this Three Figures walk into a portal in his mind and disappear forever. Sane Krieg doesn’t remember who they are and remarks that he forgot his past entirely.  But looks at Psycho Krieg and decides on Forging a future.

They tell jokes to each other constantly, though Psycho Krieg only tells a decent joke by the end of the DLC. The joke is the one coherent sentence he can make; showing a lot of progress in how he communicates, but not changing who he is.  By the end, his mind is empty, and both Kriegs work together to fill it slowy with new memories and thoughts. They start with Maya, and keep creating until she says “Enough for now. Come in and tell me about your day”, to which Krieg responds FUSING INTO HIMSELF, WHOLE, and walking into the house with her. The voiceover from Krieg tells us we’re always breaking and hurting, but we put ourselves together again, never perfect, but close enough. Always fixing ourselves. 

Final Notes:

This DLC was really good, imo. I really liked the direction it took and I’m glad it wasn’t TOO wacky, loosing all the meaning and more seriousness it could have. It is a great character exploration, respects Krieg as a character and the one around him and their relationships.  Krieg comes out as not needing fixing, and instead making peace with all he is and growing.  Canon things confirmed:  Worked as a mercenary, was a Crimson Raider, was one invited by Maya, was loved back, was experimented on by Hyperion, was saved by himself.

[crazysnakey]

She-Ra season 5 thoughts and reactions [Spoilers]

Adora’s Dreams???? Is she trying to reconnect her connection to She-ra or smth???

Of course everyone argues about the Heart of Etheria. How can they not

Okay so there was that awkward af dinner scene, but Horde Prime confronting Catra on her feelings for Adora is 👌👌👌

Catra going to meet Glimmer several times. I think we all expected that.

Everyone telling Adora she’s not She-Ra anymore and her feeling needing to be useful... AAAAAAA

When they tied up a clone and he just started blabbering about how Prime is great and all and they’re like “was hordak like this” and Scorpia straight up being like “nah he just said get out a lot” like even Scorpia anknowledges that Hordak was like an angsty emo teen boy

Everyone being like “WTF DO WE DO NOW ADORA ALWAYS MAKES THE PLANS UGH”

Entrapta... good old entrapta going apeshit over the tech

Horde Prime really does that huh? Not only does he destroy planets and take their food he keeps their treasures and stuff as his trophies

GLIMMER GO OFF YEAH DON’T LET HIM USE YOU

Horde Prime calling Catra little sister... 😟 hell no you bleached octopus

Scorpia’s impression of Entrapta is so funny like... “Yay! Science! Tech! *crazy hysterical laughing*

ENTRAPTA CAN YOU PLEASE NOT WALK INTO THE WAY OF GIANT DRONES AND BOTS PLEASE ITS A STEALTH MISSION

Mermista taking charge with Adora gone, go for it girl

Scorpia, i love you

“hooray! Oh I take back my hooray. Never mind I reinstate my hooray! Hooray!”

ENTRAPTA SAYING THAT SHE WORKS WITH TECH BETTER THAN PEOPLE AND SHE WANTED TO HELP THEM THRU TECH 😢😢

Those clones really pop out of nowhere huh? They’re just stationed everywhere huh? Like stormtroopers.

Shadow Weaver, you tsundere. You still have an attachment to Micah as your student

That one clone who’s neck just snapped and twisted (with all the great sound effects, yay!) 😨

Okay so Prime can see and talk thru all his clones... shoulda seen that coming

Hordak??? Hordak is that you

Catra straight up telling Hordak that it’s reassuring to see a familiar face even if they weren’t on the best of terms... 🥺

Is Hordak starting to remember?? Is he gonna remember Entrapta aaaaaaaaaaa come on pls

Adora taking them all to the place in her dream... wow somethings up y’all

UH WHERE IS MADAME RAZZ IN ALL THIS?????????

Going to save Glimmer... good luck y’all are seriously gonna need it

Micah pretending to be She-Ra was so funny I don’t know why

Oh so Prime can’t track First Ones tech... thank god

Wow remember when I said Hordak might be remembering?? Haha we just got the rug pulled out from under us

The Horde clones are a literal fucking cult and their chanting is seriously unnerving like wow Noelle props to making it unsettling

Aaaaaaaaand Hordak was reset again (in a weirder way too with that bathtub of whatever the fuck is in there) think he’ll somehow remember again? Entrapta my girl I’m counting on you

Entrapta naming the ship Darla... I’m getting Emily vibes

CATRA GETTING FLASHBACKS OF HER AND ADORA AS KIDS JUST RIP MY HEART OUT WHY DON’T YOU 🥺😭

Okay but does Prime have no cameras or anything??? He’s got clones and advanced tech but no cameras or scanners in his own ship?? Probably bc his clones are his cameras or smth

CATRA APOLOGIZING AND SAYING SHE WANTS TO DO SOMETHING GOOD WHEN SHE SAVES GLIMMER... WOAH 😭

They really gave us Swift Wind feels huh? They really did that to us

Scorpia saying that Kyle told her he has a crush on Rogelio... awww

The Star siblings are so sweet. Also Adora stop eating all their food

Bow just helping and protecting Glimmer even tho he’s still mad at her... 😊🥰

SHE-RA?!?!?????? She-ra is that you

Adora saying she wants to go back for Catra and that she needs her... 😭😭😭

One of the episodes is literally named “Save the Cat” like 😂😂😂

BRAINWASHED CATRA AAAAAA NO TF

Somehow I knew that Prime was probably gonna brainwash Catra but actually seeing it is something else

Okay but Wrong Hordak..., crying, no idea what to do, really innocent just trying his best don’t hurt him

So the clones and Prime use a hive mind... cool coolcoolcool

Horde Prime uses vessels??? He just jumps in from one body to the other??? He can do that??? Literally if he does that to any of the rebellion people I’ll drag him out of there with my bare hands

Excuse me??? Horde Prime knew the First Ones???? He destroyed them????? HORDE PRIME DESTROYED THE FIRST ONES WHAT

Adora fighting Catra,,,, AGAIN

Catra slowly remembering ONLY FOR PRIME TO SCREW IT UP AND INTERFERE THAT DIRTY PIECE OF-

New She-Ra form

NEW SHE-RA FORM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NEW CLOTHES NEW POWERS NEW SWORD

WHERE TF DID IT COME FROM THO???????

They better have a good explanation of this and not just some asspull don’t do us dirty that way

Then screwing over Horde Prime and wrecking his shit. NICE 👍👏👏👏

OH MY GOD HORDAK FINDING ENTRAPTA’S PINK “LUVD” CRYSTAL AND GOING “Entrapta?” OHHHHH BOY WE GON GET SOME NOW

Everyone on the ship just dealing with stuff. Wrong Hordak continues to be the nicest person yet.

Micah is so funny he’s just like I want some cake and Frosta’s like UGH and he’s just like “Do kids not like cake anymore???”

Elberon. Hoooo boy that was weird and fucked up. Goosebumps. Honestly they should’ve seen it from a mile away that something was up

AAAAAAAAAH SPINNERELLA NOOOOOOOO

Catra’s new hair without the helmet is really nice. Kinda like her past being cut away and moving towards the future. I see she’s back with draping herself all over Adora and annoying her

Secret Underwater Party Adventure literally what

Scorpia’s song ❤️💖❤️... hot DAMN girl you are AMAZING and VALID and I STAN YOU

Glad to see the underwater people are doing great in these trying times

That montage of people with a grudge against Sea Hawk and Mermista beating them up is so fucking funny like “ANYONE ELSE WHO’S BOAT YOU’VE SET ON FIRE??!?”

DOUBLE TROUBLE?!!??!1?!1!??!???

Ironically DT was lying when they said Adora’s in space with a sword fighting but they didn’t know that’s what’s actually happening asdfjdn

Oh my god Mermista have you been chipped too

Literally everyone has been chipped so I guess no one’s safe idk what I was think. ing. 🤷‍♀️

How do those chips even work?? Does someone just slap it on the back of someone’s neck and that’s it?

EVEN MICAH’S BEEN TAKEN CONTROL OF?!?

That’s one heck of an anniversary....

Okay, Krytis gives me Krypton vibes. Anyone else??? It’s a planet, some superbeing’s weakness, and the name. Also it’s like, destroyed/abandoned has no life on it

Catra and the gang with their antics... she’s clearly not used to their carefree improvising ... laughing ... awww 😊 ~

Castaspella where have YOU been the whole time??

“How is it we’ve lost so many fine members of the rebellion yet we’re still stuck with you?” WOW Not holding back anything huH

Castaspella why are you even still wearing those longass robes and that cape

MAGIC??!? THAT’S THE SECRET??? THAT- actually makes sense. Prime uses science and tech so magic is something that’s probably out of his depth

Someone get me a shapeshifting cat please Melog is so cool

Wrong Hordak you’ve found your own truth go for it you spunky little boi

“Brother, I hope you too are full of love for Horde Prime and have no crippling doubt eating at your soul” GOLD. COMEDY GOLD I TELL YOU

HORDAK REMEMBERING THE ENTRAPTA RAINBOW SCENE AAAAAAAA

That montage where Netossa lists everyone’s weaknesses is so funny, Catra’s just like “I’m different. I’m a real threat.” Then Netossa just. Sprays her with water. Like. Wow.

Even in this troubling time, dad jokes persist. This is awesome. George and Lance have their priorities sorted well. Bow is so done with it 😆

HORDE PRIME WAS THERE IN PERSON THE WHOLE TIME?!

Literally what?????????? The heart can be taken WITHOUT SHE-RA???? Horde Prime ain’t screwing around babeyyyyy

Scorpia.... don’t lose to it AAA 🥺🥺🥺 and Perfuma is so positive and does the Fairy Tail thing where she believe in her friends no matter what

Shadow Weaver, the only one using actual logical deduction in the team while everyone else panics and makes puns

Okay Shadow Weaver’s speech to Adora might sound cruel but it’s actually logical and truthful. She’s being honest.

ENTRAPDAK REUNION. YES. YESYES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY SPOP OTP HAS RETURNED HORDAK STILL BEING ANGSTY

“YOUR IMPERFECTIONS ARE BEAUTIFUL” Entrapta you’re killin me

Glimmer’s first meeting with Micah and THIS is how it goes?!? Wow

“Adora it doesn’t always have to be you!!” That gives me so many feels bc it’s kinda true

CATRA STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS DON’T DO THAT THIS TIME YOU’VE COME SO FAR NOW NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“Adora doesn’t want me! Not like I want her” number one that’s so sad, number two NO, number three GURL ADORA DOES WANT YOU BACK LIKE THAT SHE LOVES YOU

Entrapta girl, you can do it you spunky little gremlin

The memories,,, AaAAAaaaaaAAaAAAAA

Glimbowww!!!! Glimbow Glimbow Glimbow!

“You’re worth more that what you can give to other people. You deserve love too.” OH MY GOD THAT IS SUCH A GOOD AND POSITIVE MESSAGE TO GIVE NOT JUST TO ADORA BUT TO PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE

GLIMMER comin in to SAVE THE DAYAY and Seahawk ,, 🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂😂 you’re the highlight of these moments I swear 😂🤣😂

“My oldest enemy”?? Does he mean She-Ra or the First Ones? also WHAT is that giant green tentacle monster

THE LITTLE ENTRAPTA LOGO ON HER SCANNERS AND TECH THAT IS SO CUTE

KYLE AND ROGELIO AND LONNIE ARE STILL TOGETHER AND THEY’VE ADOPTED IMP AWWWWW AAAAAA

George and Lance are so proud of their son ~

Shadow Weaver !!!!!!! AAAAA AND TAKING OFF THE MASK and then just. FUCKIN G DYING??!!!??? SHADOW WEAVER YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE ME THESE FEELS AT THE END

Double Trouble you little shit

Holee shit, THAT is the heart??? It looks like empty cubes or shapes or something...

GO HORDAK GO OFF

DID HE JUST KILL PRIME???? YES!!!

Oh shit, nevermind, they are a hive mind after all,,, ........ FUCK

CATRA GOING “I LOVE YOU I ALWAYS HAVE”

CATRADORA KISS

CATRADORA KISS

CATRADORA KISS

THEY GLOWED AND TURNED RAINBOW GAY RIGHTS

THEY PLAYED CATRA AND ADORA’S SOUNDTRACK IN THEIR BIG MOMENT

Hordak’s memory with baby Adora??? Like adorable????

ENTRAPDAK REUNION AAAAAAA THE HUG

“HI I’M DAD” WOW

ALL THE REUNIONS

Mermista’s just like slightly unsettled by Entrapdak. Begone Antis.

Literally Madame Razz have you been just walking around and dusting stuff

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ENDING WHAT A GOOD WAY TO END THE SHOW HOLY SHIT WOW

All of my ships have become canon this season Catradora Glimbow Entrapdak Seamista thank you Noelle MY CROPS ARE WATERED MY SKIN CLEARED MY DEPRESSION CURED MY HOPE RESTORED THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO WORKED ON SPOP I AM BLESSED

[mytholora]

do you hear my heart beating

Fandom: Mamamoo

Rated: T

Pairings: Moonsun

Characters: Solar, Moonbyul, Wheein, Hwasa

Summary: Yongsun knows she’s an idiot but she’d thought herself to be an idiot with good ideas.

Yongsun knows she’s an idiot but she’d thought herself to be an idiot with good ideas.

They’re in a seedy club at some inhumane hour of the morning. Byulyi has somehow managed to convince her to go even though she’s got a paper due tomorrow and hasn’t washed her hair in 3 days.

“ISN’T THIS AMAZING?” Byulyi yells over the crowd of people wildly bumping their bodies into each other and the blaring music. It’s humid. Yongsun’s sure she’s stepped on something gross. At least 2 people have tried grinding on her, she doesn’t know. What she does know is that Byulyi’s holding her hand tight and she’s about to spontaneously combust.

“It’s really loud in here!”

“WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?” Byul makes a pained face at her, stretching back to hear her better.

“WHAT Oh—never mind.” Yongsun sighs, realising that no matter how loud she shouts, Byulyi can’t hear her over the loud music. How is she supposed to flirt with Byulyi if they can’t even hear each other? Another body falls on her and Yongsun is this close to biting someone’s ear off. She grunts under the weight of a clearly inebriated body and struggles to push him back on his feet. Of course this fucking caveman has to fall on me, of all the people in this hellcave.

Suddenly, Byulyi appears in front of her and pushes the man off her.

“Hey, watch where you’re falling, asshole!” Byulyi snarls, anger flaring in her eyes, arms holding Yongsun closely, tightly, and Yongsun feels her face heat up as she presses herself closer to Byulyi’s frame.

“Thanks, bodyguard,” Yongsun breathes out.

“WHAT?”

“I said thanks!”

“WHAT?”

“Forget it!”

“...WHAT?”

“LET’S JUST GO!”

“I can’t hear you, let’s just go!” Byulyi pulls her arm to signal her to start moving and they start wading through the swamp of people once more. A light bulb flickers to life above Yongsun’s head instantly. They can barely hear themselves in the noise, much less each other. It’s an opportunity falling on her lap and Yongsun’s damned if she won’t take it.

She clears her throat. “Your hands really turn me on.”

Byulyi doesn’t even turn around to look at her, just keeps pushing forward through the crowd. Yongsun bites back laughter and squeezes Byulyi’s hand. She turns around at that, tilting her head in slight confusion, face sporting a grin. Yongsun shakes her head and they continue moving as glee at the prospect of what she can do in her current situation fills her up.

Walking deeper in still, the club gets louder and darker even though Yongsun didn’t think it was possible mere minutes ago.

“Hey, hot ass lady holding my hand,” Yongsun tries. “Could we go get some drinks before hitting the dance floor?” No reaction.

“You sexy beast. Hold me tight. Grab my tiddies and drag me into a kiss.”

Nothing. If Byulyi can hear her, she doesn’t show any indication that she does.

It’s even better than I thought, Yongsun thinks incredulously. She gives a tug to the hand that’s holding hers.

“Can we get a drink first?” She asks in her normal voice, not even trying to compete against the noise. Byulyi frowns and leans closer, lips forming a ‘what’. Yongsun smiles and gestures towards what distinctly looks like a bar and tilts her head back to mimic the act of drinking. Byulyi perks up, nods, and they head off to a new destination.

It’s a little quieter at the bar, the air still shaking with heavy bass, but Yongsun can actually hear her own thoughts now. A familiar beautiful woman with a smouldering gaze is already waiting for them at the bar, an eyebrow raised, and Yongsun fights back a blush when the woman glances between Byulyi and herself as they walk towards her.

“Surprise!” Byulyi yells and almost leaps across the counter to wrap the woman in a hug.

“How did you manage to find me? I barely started working, like, two days ago!” Hyejin laughs, arms going around to return the hug before pulling Yongsun into another smothering one.

“I have my sources!” Byulyi says and Hyejin rolls her eyes.

“Wheein! Of course.”

“Where is she anyway? She owes me 15 bucks!” Hyejin motions to somewhere behind her and not even a moment later, a young dimpled girl appears beside Hyejin and squeals, dragging all four of them into a group huddle.

“HELL YEAH! The gang’s back together for a night of booze and bad decisions!” She jumps around excitedly and Yongsun feels her heart melt at the sight. She glances at Hyejin and Byulyi and she’s sure she’s not the only one. They are all soft for Wheein and her bubbly energy.

“Making bad decisions won’t be a problem with how fucking LOUD this place is! Are the speakers busted or something?” Yongsun winces as the music somehow gets louder than before, a remix of some top 10 EDM song reverberating in her skull.

“We don’t really know why but the other bartenders tell us it’s the DJ! He always plays the music this loud just cuz it ‘sets him in the mood’!” Wheein explains and Byulyi rolls her eyes.

“What an asshole.”

“Right?! Most of the DJs we’ve met here are really nice but he’s the only one that’s a big meanie! Just earlier tonight he…” Wheein launches into a story and Byulyi listens attentively, straining her neck forward to pick up on Wheein’s excited chatter. Hyejin quickly fills up two mugs with some cheap beer for them and is off to respond to a customer calling for her. Byulyi sends a wink her way as thanks before focusing her attention back onto Wheein and her flailing arms.

Yongsun adores that part of Byulyi that is so attentive and pays attention to details. The one that tries her best to be inclusive. The one with so much kindness and care in her heart. It was a quality that attracted so many of her friends to her and helped her to easily make more.

“I love you so much,” Yongsun stares at Byulyi and the words slip out before she can stop it. A spike of anxiety stabs her before realising that it is too loud for anyone to pick up what she’s saying. “That jacket looks great around you but you know what would look better? Me.”

Byulyi doesn't react. She’s still listening attentively to Wheein’s enthusiastic storytelling. It’s a chance she can’t miss.

“You funky lesbian, why the fuck are you so perfect, huh? Wanna fight? Wanna sit on my face? I dare you. I’m so in love with you. I’m not even joking. I would lay my life down for you like a knight for her queen, except like, I don’t wanna die, so maybe not. I’d fight a man for you, though. I’d choke all the men in the world for you. Fuck, you look so good. Marry me.”

Yongsun is on a roll, spitting out cheesy compliments and flirty pick-up lines. She says it to no-one in particular, keeping her eyes on the hyper duo next to her as she nurses her drink in one hand.

That is, until she realises her phone has been incessantly buzzing in her pocket. It’s enough to get her to take it out and look through her notifications.

Hyegi: oi

Hyegi: im on the other side

Hyegi: bitch dont ignore me look here

Hyegi: are u talking to yourself or smth wat the fuck

Hyegi: who you talking to

Hyegi: oh my god

Hyegi: SKJSHDSJFH

Hyegi: omg u hopeless gay

Hyegi: sit on your face???

Hyegi: yong pls

Hyegi: pls do not start fighting here i dont wanna be fired

Hyegi: im begging you pls stop

Hyegi: o fuk that’s so NSFW im gagging

Hyegi: bicth

Hyegi: thicc byulssy???? UVE GONE TOO FAR

Hyegi: HELLO!! LOOK HERE ASSHOLE!!!

Yongsun is absolutely mortified. Her eyes quickly dart to where Hyejin is leaning against the counter a few metres away, smoothly typing away on her phone, as if she didn’t just ruin Yongsun’s entire night in a few texts. Hyejin glances up to look at her and smirks. Yongsun's fight or flight response is fully activated and screaming at her to somehow knock Hyejin unconscious and make her lose all memory of tonight.

Yong: FUCK

Yong: dkjfhsljdfh

Yong: what the fuck

Hyegi: calm down

Yong: im gonna fukcking

Yong: what the FUCK

Hyegi: CHILL i wont tell

Yong: i will die on the spot if you do

Hyegi: please dont

Yong: DIE you hear me

Hyegi: I WONT I SWEAR

Yong: this whole time

Yong: how

Yong: did you bug me with a mic

Hyegi: what?? no i can lip read

Yong: how? since when??? what the fuck

Hyegi: took a course back in college

Yong: why

Hyegi: i wanted to be a spy

Yong: uh

Yong: ok

Yong: anyway pls dont spill

Hyegi: chillax i wont. I got u babe

Yong: thanks ily

Hyegi: ily too

Hyegi: also u are one giant horndog u know that?? fuckin intense!!

Yong: and what about it? she’s hot. im hot. we’re perfect for each other

Hyegi: LMAO right so why u seducing thin air

Yong: im just

Yong: building up my offense u know

Yong: training to fight fire with fire

Hyegi: by talking to the air

Yong: im TRAINING u fool

Yong: im like zuko and she’s azula because im gonna take her down

Yong: except we’re not siblings and i wanna date her

Hyegi: fuck u dont ruin that show for me

Yong: im not supporting incense im just saying they were both hot

Hyegi: incense im its incest u illiterate

Hyegi: ok look if i give u another drink on the house will u PLEASE shut the fuck up

Yong: a nicer one please

Yong: thanks

Yong: also zutara should have been endgame

Hyegi: dont test me because i will throw this drink in ur face

Yongsun laughs and looks up only to see Wheein gone and Byulyi staring at her and smiling. She feels her heart jump out her chest and tries to not let it show. She raises an eyebrow and Byulyi shakes her head and takes another swig of her now finished beer. Hyejin walks up to them with Yongsun’s drink on the house.

“Hey, how come she gets another one?!” Byulyi pouts, shifting closer to Yongsun and her new drink.

“What can I say? I’m a natural charmer!” Yongsun shrugs, a teasing lilt in her voice, which makes Byulyi pout even more. Hyejin rolls her eyes and walks away. Yongsun realises that it’s just her and Byulyi now. She clears her throat uncomfortably, unprepared to face Byulyi one-on-one, despite all the ‘training’ she’s undergone.

“Holy shit, I love this song! For a shitty DJ, he’s got pretty good taste in music!” Byulyi perks up. She gets off her chair and sways to the song now playing through the speakers. Yongsun watches awkwardly as Byulyi dances without a care in front of her.

She thinks she’s disassociating. In another dimension.

Byulyi? Sexy dancing in front of her as she sits and watches? Not even trying to escape? Absolutely unheard of.

She’d already be running for the hills on a normal day.

I’m too fucking gay for this shit. Is this happening? Is this really happening? What the fuck.

Yongsun doesn’t budge an inch on her seat, doesn’t even grab her drink. Her eyes watch Byulyi intensely, expression unchanging as the younger girl dances without a care in the world, unaware of the quickly deteriorating mess that is Yongsun’s sanity. Byulyi’s eyes lock with hers and she feels something important escape her body.

Her phone buzzes again and again and Yongsun forces herself to tear her eyes away from the spectacle that is Byulyi and respond to it.

Hyegi: u lesbian

Hyegi: SHUT UP ur sex eyes are so obvious

Hyegi: U look like u are one blink away from pushing her down!! Fuck

Hyegi: i cant deal with this

Hyegi: remember to use protection xoxo hwasa

Yongsun rolls her eyes. Her phone buzzes again. What now?

---

Wheenie: byul-unnie

Wheeinie: i got him to play the song u wanted

Wheeinie: r u sure dis will work

Wheeinie: make sure u do wat we discussed

Wheeinie: unnie u luk v intense

Wheeinie: ya work those sexy moves

Wheein: sway ur hips more!! bat ur eyes!!

Wheeinie: she looks turned on as fUK keep doing it

Wheeinie: lmao she’s looking here?? move closer

Wheeinie: get more in her face!! blast ur hormones! show her ur willing and ready!!!

Wheeinie: wait

Wheeinie: OH FUCK

from this shitpost of mine

after more than a year here i am...... my measly attempt at comedy..

comments r appreciated and criticism even more so because i get turned on by both

[textingnct]

FRIENDS TO LOVERS WITH RENJUN PT. 2

after he had asked you to be his girlfriend, and after you accepted, he asked you again

he had your favorite flowers and a basket with all types goodies

and though you had said yes already and went through the confession, you both were still so excited and happy to finally start a relationship

the emotions you two held for each other will finally be able to pool out bc you're!! dating!!

the awkward tension of holding one another or giving the sweetest affection you won't give to others won't be weird anymore

and you can be all lovey without ppl saying anything bc!! you're!! finally!! dating!!

if anything, the other guys are finally happy that you two are together bc

dream couldn't take it anymore

all renjun did was talk abt you when you weren't around and his uwu's were always spilt

on the other hand.. the other members are always asking you how you feel about having a bf

specifically having renjun as a bf

and you're always blushing, it's so cute taeil can't help but squish you bc it's so soft

what you're most excited abt in the relationship is using pet names

of course you already use them, it's how you showed your affection as friends,

but now you can call him by his nickname and send him all the hearts you want

he's excited for the hugs and smooches, ngl he's shy and isn't sure if the first kiss will be everything you're expecting but he loves you sm

you're both always with the other dudes, and they're always trying to leave you two alone

but there's always that one person whose ready to ruin it

"why do we keep walking faster and faster?? also y/n and renjun were left back there.. let me go get them"

"mark omg donT you get it they're dating theY caN be alOne"

but lol here he comes with both of y'all with slight disappointed faces, pulling you two

so a few days after that, also a few weeks after you two started dating, the boy finally got the guts to take you out on an actual date

no one else taking care of you, no one else asking if you want to be alone and making it awkward... no one else to bother you

he was extremely excited as he was typing out plans and asking you where you'd like to eat and spend your time as a couple at

and just like when you were close buddies, you went to the cafe you always went to together

"hmm.. this is a new pastry, do you wanna try it y/n?"

"yeah yeah!! it's our favorite flavor i'm sure we'll both like it (:"

his heart was beating the whole time bc you looked so cute with what you were wearing and you smiled even more than usual

"i'm happy we can finally be together without mark parenting us or chensung giving us ugly faces"

you spoke up as you fed renjun a piece of the pastry, his face lighting up with joy from the taste

"or nomin giggling behind us"

you two giggled as you shared more memories about the others

sipping your coffees or beverages and sharing with one another

he loves it when you call him out lovingly, or when you want his attention

his heart just explodes and he's worried if it physically happens bc that's exactly how he feels everytime

"ahh babe... renjun why do you keep bothering donghyuck?? listen to me ):"

"o-oh i'm sorry... babe... i'll listen to you, wanna go get some ice cream it's pretty hot out today"

cue nomin sweating bullets and screeching their throats out

"sweetie you're out of bread... do you guys even eat? you need to eat bubs, stay healthy <3"

"actually i know it's pretty late but if you want!! we should go to the market!! i'll make kun come with us for he can pay for everything"

gets jealous pretty easily

it either be with the other guys, someone from school, or someone you're friends with.. he doesn't want anyone being handsy or cute with you

"why are you touching y/n's arm??? who are you?? are you even relevant? let's go babe"

"he was asking if i could tutor him for biology.. renjun don't be jealous, it's all fine"

"i have him for biology and he has a higher grade than me y/n.. you're mine okay?"

doesn't like it when the other members compliment you, though they do it to tease him nonetheless

"woaaaah, y/n you look really cute with your hair styled that way!! how come you've never done it like that??"

"jisung who do you think you are?? i'm older than you, respect me maybe?"

"but he was talking to y/n! and she's okay with receiving our compliments! you're just a jealous boyfriend"

"i'm just protecting my girlfriend chenle is that wrong?"

proceeds to attac

loves it when your relationship is hyped on

"ooh look at them being all cute.. awh they're wearing couple clothing (: my children are growing"

doyoung crying in the corner

you two are always wearing couple clothing might as well bring it up (((((:

almost half of your closets are filled with couple clothing...

and you have matching things scattered around your rooms

like matching cases, glasses.. possibly stickers

you're that one couple that have pictures of each other framed in your bedrooms

or have cute letters on your walls that you've made for each other

he's always drawing for you and your bedroom wall is filled with his paintings or drawings

he's your little picasso, and you love hyping him up abt his artwork bc he deserves it

and he has most of your stuff in his room, it either be from clothing for when you sleep over, even your school notebooks or a few of your makeup stuff

if u use any makeup lol i don't so i won't get too into that

you two happen to be really touchy and handsy with each other

either always holding hands or playing with the others fingers or cheeks, and hugging.. there just has to be some friction between the two of you

the cuddle couple™️

no matter what's happening, you'll always end up wrapped up in his arms, your head on his chest as he rubs your shoulder lovingly, talking to you about what's happened between him and the boys or how you've been

inseparable.. you two always go out together, it doesn't matter where the other will for sure follow behind

"heyyyy renjun, i'm about to go get my nails done with my friends what's up?"

"oh!! you're gonna get your nails done?? let me join along.. I'm not busy and seeing your cute face would be nice (:"

your own friends are sometimes surprised by how interested he actually is when he's out with you guys

"y/n you've totally gotten the best boyfriend.. mine doesn't want to tag along bc I get too loud..."

"ahhh well.. y/n's friends are my friends!! i'd like to have an open mindset as well"

"hmm maybe he just wants to spend more time with his honey.. for all we know he's cursing us out in his head... cute"

renjun desperately tries to speak over your loud giggly friends lmao but gives up anyways

but in all seriousness your friends rlly do love him as a friend and as your boyfriend

he's the best you've done and if you haven't date well you started off with such a great partner

and they all absolutely love how he's so open to what you like and how much he's willing to take to see you have a good time

like he could be waaaaaay out of his comfort zone but he'd do anything for you.. and figure out it wasn't as bad as he thought it'd be in the end

and though your friends do anything to tease him, and took a while to accept him completely, they love having him around

"hey y/n you should invite renjun no?? doesn't he like themed restaurants??"

"hm, you're right he does.. you're sure you'd be okay with him around?"

"uhh yeah the dudes really funny and he gives dirt about his friends"

you're the one he goes to first when he wants to give off steam or speak about one of the members

or if he was feeling sad or just out of it... he wants to tell you and let you know how he's feeling

he doesn't let his feelings eat him to the point where you start feeling worried for him and have to ask if he's okay... he wants to let you know and doesn't want to worry you even a tiny bit

and you try to be like that too but sometimes you're so deep in your head you even forget to tell him

resulting in the boy figuring out how you're feeling himself and keeps an eye on you, he wants to feel like you can tell him anything so he doesn't try forcing you to tell him what's up unless you're feeling rlly bad then that's when he's asking and asking

"hey babe... you hungry? i can make you something to eat, you haven't eaten much today"

"hm? oh oh, yeah if you're gonna eat i'll eat too"

"okay, i'll make smth quick, how was your day? you can always talk to me alright y/n?"

he loves you with all of his heart and he wants nothing but for you to be happy and to be by your side for as long as the world allows him to be

you as well love him so much, with such an amount that you thank the universe for letting such an amazing boy be by your side as your best friend and boyfriend

you both play huge parts in each other's lives and it would ruin both of you if anything happens to the other... you're both deeply in love with each other and see a far future together 💗💗

lol hey guys!! sorry for not updating quickly ): I was in a small slump and writers block lol... I've been a bit busy with family stuff too so (: but I'll be more active starting today lol

i'm working on smth for lucas for that anon who requested btw (: hopefully this was good enough! love you guys 💗

[libraryscarf]

i had approximately One BILLION Feelings about this art by @ahshesgone, so i wrote smth to heal myself and maybe some other people. the title’s a meme. the fic is not. (thx ash for letting me write for your art, it was cathARTic haha get it hahA i’m leaking sadness onto my keyboard)

god, interrupted ( ao3 )

Hiyori didn’t feel the weight of the tiny shrine Yato had placed in her hands. Her hands were cold and numb, useless blocks of ice at the ends of her arms.

“All right,” he was saying. “Take care of this for me.”

No.

No.

What was he asking of her? He couldn’t think this was right. No. He couldn’t leave it like this.

He couldn’t vanish, leaving her with nothing but a shrine in her hands and an ache in her throat.

“No.”

Yato was already turning away, but her cry surprised him. He looked at her, and his expression instantly shifted to one of concern. Hiyori didn’t understand why until the hot salt of tears stung her lips, and she realized she was crying. Hard.

“Hiyori.” His voice carried a hard edge of worry. “What—?”

She dropped the shrine.

It splintered on impact, sending slices of painted wood and crumbs of old glue skittering across the pavement. Yato’s eyes darted between Hiyori’s face and the wreckage, his eyes and mouth round with shock.

Hiyori stared down at the destroyed shrine. Her legs turned to water, and she sank to her knees next to it, empty hands at her sides, balling into tight fists and then releasing, balling, releasing. Her fingernails bit ruthlessly into her frozen palms.

“I broke it,” she said stupidly. Her fingers fluttered over the splinters like nervous butterflies.

Yato dropped to his knees in front of her, catching her hands in his.

“You’re going to cut yourself, Hiyori.”

He gripped her fingers between his, rubbing the raw, chapped skin. His touch was so warm; it burned straight through her icy flesh and sank into her chest, quivering like an arrow. Quickly, she realized that the heat was rising in her throat, that it tasted like bile and brass, that she was going to scream.

“You idiot!” she wailed. She snatched her hands from him and shuffled backwards on her knees. Pieces of the shrine dug splintery teeth into her legs. Yato stared at her, flabbergasted. His hands were still outstretched, cradling air.

“What do you mean, you’re leaving?” she snapped. “What would happen to Yukine?”

Yato’s mouth opened and shut several times.

“I’ve—listen, Hiyori—I have thought this through.”

She snorted loudly. “Well. Even if you have, it’s a stupid, terrible, reckless plan, and I won’t let you do it.”

His jaw dropped. “Let me?”

“You heard me.” Hiyori sat back on her heels and drew her eyebrows together. The effect of her stormy expression was somewhat undercut by the tears racing each other down her cheeks.

Yato didn’t answer. After a few seconds of silence, Hiyori’s eyes dropped to the ground, where a few of the larger pieces of the shrine lay together, jagged along their edges. Her heart ached fiercely along the same fault lines.

“But I have to,” he said, quietly. “At least, I have to try.”

“But why now? Why alone?”

He met her eyes, and a small, sad smile crossed his lips.

“I’m finally brave enough to do this on my own, Hiyori. That’s because of you.”

It was like a piece of cold iron had been shoved into one of those fault lines, wedging it brutally open. She gasped at the white, sudden agony of it. “Don’t,” she breathed.

But he was almost on his feet again. And then he would turn away from her and vanish, and there she would be still, sitting on the ground, with the brokenness of herself for company.

She lurched to her knees and reached out, blind with tears. Her fingers found the front of his zippered jersey, fisted in the cloth, and yanked. Yato yelped loudly as he crashed to the ground. Several pieces of wood snapped under his knees.

“Hiyori—!”

He choked off with a gasp as she threw herself against him, winding tight arms around his neck. Her nails burrowed into his shoulders, and she tucked her face against his collarbone, trying to calm the tight, gutting sobs that broke from her throat. His breath was hot and shallow on her neck.

He couldn’t leave if she didn’t let go.

“I didn’t make you that shrine so you could reincarnate,” she whispered furiously, forcing the tears back down her throat. Her fingers strangled the fabric of his jersey. “How could you think that?”

Yato stiffened at her words. He wasn’t touching her, wasn’t holding her like she held him.

Finally, he exhaled.

“But…you did make it because you knew…you knew I wanted one, right?” But he wasn’t so certain, now.

Hiyori nodded against his shoulder. “Yes.”

“Then what do you mean—”

“I made it because I love you, Yato.”

Hiyori felt it: the harsh tremor that took his whole body as he let out an involuntary whimper.

It felt so good to have said it. Every nerve was bright and alive; her heart soared with conviction.

“I love you,” she repeated, relishing the syllables on her tongue.

She gasped when his arms wrapped around her, crushing their bodies closer. There was a desperate tightness in his shoulders, in the taut arch of his back.

“Hiyori.”

A shiver skipped down her spine as his lips touched her neck. “Yes?”

“What am I supposed to do?”

A breathy, half-crazed giggle burst from her. “Well. You could say it back.”

Yato let out a shaky exhale against her neck—one that could have been a laugh. “I think you know already.”

A thrill sped through her veins.

“But…would you say it?” she begged. “Please?”

One of his hands moved up to smooth over her wind-tossed hair, and then settled there, cupping the back of her neck.

“Hiyori,” he whispered, like he was praying.

As though of the two of them, she were the god.

“I love you.”

She shut her eyes. This was it: how it should be, how it was always meant to happen. There would be no mention of leaving. There would be no talk of reincarnation.

Then Yato trembled. “I love you so much, it fucking scares me.”

Hiyori flinched at the raw anguish in his voice. Like this was a bad thing. Like it was just something more to fear.

She released her grip on him, sliding her hands around to his chest and gently putting distance between them.

“Please,” she said. “Please, don’t go. At least not right now. Can you wait? Can we talk about it?”

He slowly shook his head, not meeting her eyes.

“Yato.” She reached out and took his chin. Tilting it upward, she forced his gaze to meet hers.

Though she had been too appalled to blush, the open yearning in his face was more than enough to send a hot wave of color into her face. She cleared her throat and looked away. As her hand dropped from his chin, he caught it.

“But isn’t this just all the more reason not to forget me?” he asked, stroking her thumb.

Hiyori bridled. Now that wasn’t quite fair.

“No! It’s all the more reason for you to stay put and not do something absolutely psychotic to try and look like a hero.”

Now it was Yato’s turn to bristle with defensiveness. “I wasn’t going to try and look like a hero!”

“Oh, really? So not even the smallest part of this whole idiot scheme to martyr yourself was to look cool and valiant?”

Yato’s face was completely red. His jaw worked silently for a few seconds before he sputtered:

“That’s—that’s so—such an immature—I can’t believe you would—”

Hiyori smirked in victory. Yato frowned and grumbled and stared at his knees, but he didn’t let go of her hand. Her skin tingled where it touched his.

The corner of her lip twitched.

“Besides, have you thought that without this shrine, my memory might fail me entirely? You really shouldn’t go anywhere until it’s fixed.”

He looked up, stricken. Hiyori felt a twinge of guilt at the hurt on his face, but his expression softened into fondness when he saw she wasn’t serious.

“That is a good point,” he said after a brief hesitation.

She nodded. “It is. A very good point.”

There was a long pause, inhabited by the not-quite-silence of the evening around them. Crickets sang in the long grass. Far away, a car engine coughed.

“So…can we raincheck the suicide mission?”

“It’s not a suicide mi—”

Yato choked on his words as Hiyori brought his hand suddenly to her lips. She brushed her mouth across his knuckles, her senses singing with the giddy, peculiar godsmell that clung to his skin.

“Sure, okay. Yeah, raincheck,” he wheezed.

Hiyori grinned, more than a little shocked at herself. But it had worked.

“Can we go home?” she asked.

Yato lifted his other hand and moved hair away from her face. Her eyes fluttered closed when his fingers ghosted against her temple. Before she realized he moved, he leaned toward her, and there was the softest pressure of his lips on her forehead. She squeaked, and a laugh rumbled through his chest.

“Another good idea,” he murmured. “You’re full of them tonight, Hiyori.”

This time, the blush simmering in her cheeks boiled all the way up to her scalp.

“Yes—s-sometimes,” she stammered.

Yato took hold of her elbows and helped her to her feet. She brushed bits of shattered shrine off her knees.

“Ugh, I’m going to have to start from scratch.” She plucked a splinter of wood off her skirt and flicked it away.

“Maybe you can include ‘Yato-sama’ on it somewhere?” he asked hopefully.

Hiyori’s mouth twisted. “Maybe. There might not be enough room.”

“It wouldn’t take that much space!”

“No, I meant in your huge head.”

Yato reeled dramatically from the mild insult. Hiyori giggled. Then, threading her fingers through his, she added:

“If you really want me to put Yato-sama on it somewhere, then I’ll see what I can do.”

“I love you.”

It was immediate, unhesitating, like he’d just been waiting for a reason to say it again. And again, Hiyori had the wind knocked out of her.

“I-I—” She faltered, even though she could say it—had said it.

Why did he smell so deliriously sweet? Why was his hand so warm and large and—

He was there in front of her, too close. Much, much too close. Her head swam. It felt like no matter how deep a breath she drew, it wasn’t enough.

“It’s okay,” he said, and Hiyori realized he was holding her upright.

He smiled at her. A winner’s smile, mischievous. And then leaned in.

“You don’t have to say it back.”

[ambivalentangst]

Blue Lips

For @kyo-chan-senpai who requested: “Lance and Shiro go on a mission together or smth and one of them gets badly hurt and the other sings them Blue Lips (by regina Spektor bc this song is giving me immense langsty feels rn) to take their attention away from the wounds until they can get help. You can either kill off the wounded, or not. It's your choice. Bonus points if you can make me bawl like a kid whose candy has been stolen.”

Thank you so much for sending me a request! I rarely get them, so this is a treat, and this was an absolute dream to fill for you! I did end up changing the prompt just a little, so I hope you don't mind. This idea just had a mind of its own tbh, so thank you for such inspiration! I'm REALLY SORRY this didn't get done sooner, the end of the semester is coming around and I'm actually dying. Regardless, here you are and I hope you enjoy this!

-

tw: graphic descriptions of injury, major character death

-

   Shiro didn’t know how everything had gotten so awful so quickly. Of course he knew that saving the universe was dangerous, it was a hazard to even be in space. He knew that they could very well die without ever returning home and there would be no funeral but their bodies fed to the abyss of space. It was a harsh reality, but they were lucky. He was lucky. It never mattered, for too long anyways, that he woke up in a cold sweat, screaming because he could see all the faces of those he’d killed swimming in front of his eyes. He had a svelte shape at his side that could murmur sweet nothings into his ear, could card long fingers through his hair while he squeezed his hand and proclaimed his love. Lance kept him safe from the terrors snapping at his heels away from the fire of battle, but Shiro had failed at keeping him safe even in it.

   He hadn’t seen the shot until it was too late, until Lance was diving in front of him in a blur of blue and white and then red. So much red. Shiro remembered screaming, and then he was at Lance’s side after tearing through the remaining attackers in a blaze of purple light and screaming directions for extraction into the comms even he barely understood. He clasped him to his chest with such tenderness his hands shook, and Lance had the nerve to arrange his blood stained, wobbling lips into a smile.

   “It’s okay,” he whispered, but that was followed by a wet cough that left crimson puddle on the ground he turned to as a reaction. Shiro could do nothing but hold him, memories flashing behind his eyes so much faster then he could handle, and he realized he had new fuel for nightmares. One last innocent life lost because of him, but this time he would have no lover to comfort him and bring him back to reality. He vaguely could register Lance clinging to him, and then nudging him a little with the heel of his palm.

   “Hey, hey Shiro d-do you remember that song?” he asked. Shiro could only stare, because all he could see was red. Lance was not red. His lion was, his gun was, but Lance was not red. He never should’ve been red. Lance laughed, a pitiful sound that made Shiro tighten his grip on Lance, like if he clung to him tight enough he would keep him anchored in this world and away from the next. When Shiro couldn’t manage a response, Lance hummed softly and sat up to place a shaky kiss on Shiro’s cheek.

   “You know, the one I told you about. We use it sometimes, when your nightmares are too bad and we can’t go back to sleep. You remember that, don’t you?” Shiro could only shake his head, a fumbling stream of Lance’s name falling from his lips. All he could see was how wet and red the wound puncturing Lance’s beautiful skin was. His skin feathered and easy to tear, like it would take no more effort than ripping tissue paper. Even as frail as he was, Lance set his pain aside and did his best to reassure, Shiro

   “Come on, let’s sing,” he suggested calmly, and his trembling thumb ghosted across the white of Shiro’s knuckles. Lance’s voice was strained with the all encompassing agony that relentlessly lit his body up, but it carried the tune well enough even with gaps in the song.

   “He stumbled into faith and thought,” he began, coughing again while Shiro stared at him with an expression containing such torment that it made him falter before he could bring himself to continue. Shiro’s arms were still strong around him, the only part of him that didn’t crumble under the circumstances.

   “God this is all there is.” Shiro could not understand, not while he tried to separate the present from the horrors of his past.

   “The pictures in his mind rose, and began to breathe.” A sickening stain was growing on Shiro’s armor, viscous and sticky and with a coppery stench that burned Shiro’s nose. Lance interrupted his own performance for a moment, shaking Shiro’s shoulder with absolutely pathetic force. It was still enough to jar him.

   “Sing, darling. Just like we always do. It’s just us, nothing from before. Focus on me, okay?” Shiro was able to nod, his chin dropping in a motion jerky enough to send a jolt through Lance and create a grimace on his beautiful features. Again, Lance’s voice rose in a rasp, taut from the torture of his last few living moments.

   “And all the gods in all the worlds, began colliding on a backdrop of blue.” Shiro’s lips moved but no sound came out. His tongue felt too fuzzy and heavy, trapped within his mouth. He could only focus on the blue, blissful blue of Lance’s eyes while his smaller lover’s hand stroked his own soothingly.

   “Blue lips, blue veins.” Shiro finally managed a burst of sound, a croak that just barely fought past his shock and overwhelming panic to make itself heard. Lance smiled, thin and fake while tears gathered in his eyes. Shiro felt the same wetness on his cheeks, falling to bead unceremoniously on Lance’s tan skin.

   “Good,” Lance praised him lovingly. “That’s it, again. You’re okay. You’re fine. I’m here.”

   “Blue lips, blue veins,” they chorused, Lance’s voice somehow less tremulous then Shiro’s. The black paladin always tried so hard to pretend he was fine, but Lance knew better, and his overpowering urge to protect Shiro above all else made him strong for just a little longer.

   “Blue, the color of the planet from far, far away.” Shiro was gaining in volume now, zeroing in on the subtle weight of Lance in his arms and the rhythm of his touch. Lance kept him grounded.

   “Blue, the most human color.” Lance was fading, losing his fervor as Shiro gained his stability again. They sang again and again, forgetting themselves and everything else in the highs and lows and lyrics that they both knew so well.

   “Blue lips.” It was just Shiro now, crooning to Lance who could only smile and let the morbid lullaby lure him to a much more permanent sleep.

   “Blue veins.” Lance only barely kept his eyes open. He wanted Shiro’s face, scarred and kind and loving to be his last memory.

   “Blue, the color of the planet from far, far away.”

   Lance’s eyes clouded over, and he fell still.

   The team arrived too late. By the time they burst in, all there was to be salvaged was a broken man who sang his love to a corpse painted in a color that most definitely wasn’t blue.

[stressedoutteenager]

Memories

I combined the following prompts for this:

Yousef's thoughts during the Fy Faen clip while the whole group is on the tram/train and Yousef notices Sana being a little distanced from the others so he decides to go close to her...

Sana and Yousef married for a couple of years and they tell eachother how they felt in their first dates "the best of islam" "maghrib" (...) married yousef telling sana smth like he wanted to kiss and hug her all the time but he was not going to rush cause he knew that

Hi! I would really love some more married Yousana-prompts. Anything from a lazy Saturday together (...)

Yousana prompt: the first time they hold hands.

Please let me know what you think :D

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You'll fall into a routine, they said.

You'll barely see each other once you start working, they said.

You'll feel like you're reliving the same day after a while, they said.

A lot of people had quite a bit to say about what Sana and Yousef's life would look like once they got married and actually lived together. Most of them didn't mean it in a negative way; they thought they're just telling the couple what will inevitably happen.

Well, it's been almost three years and none of that has happened yet. 

This is the first Saturday in months they're spending at home. Whenever they both have a free day, they go out and do whatever they feel like doing. Whenever they come back from work, no matter how late it is, they spend time together, sometimes just recapping what happened during the day. It never really feels like either of them relives the same day over and over. 

As exciting as their lives together can be with a different activity every day, it feels nice to just have a lazy Saturday in their home. They filled their coffee table with food and sweets and both have a cup of coffee in their hands.

Sana is leaning on one armrest of the couch, Yousef on the other. Their legs tangled in the middle. Yousef takes a sip of his coffee but doesn't look away from Sana while doing that. Just sitting here, drinking coffee and being close to his wife ... that's when he feels most comfortable.

"You want to know what I dreamt about last night?", Sana asks her husband. It's barely noon and after their long breakfast they sat down in the living room and barely moved. 

Yousef nods. "Do you even need to ask?"

Sana shakes her head, laughing, and making her hair fall out of her bun. Yousef's eyes instinctively follow the movement and he smiles to himself. Still in her pyjamas, without any make-up and her hair a little messy - he admires how beautiful she is.

"Okay, but don't laugh.", Sana says and sits up a little straighter. 

Yousef just tilts his head a little to the side and nods. 

"I dreamt of that time you and the guys came to that party with my friends and I. The first time we went to a party all together, remember?", Sana explains.

Yousef starts smiling and nods. "Of course I remember that. How would I not?" Sana smiles at him, head leaning on the backrest of the couch. "What did you dream then?"

"I actually don't remember all of it. But I dreamt of how you guys walked up to us with the balloons."

"I remember you not looking very impressed with that.", Yousef laughs at the memory. He was so excited to go out with Sana. And her friends, but they were not why he was so excited.

Sana thinks back at that day. She knows what he means. Well, that day she was not happy about seeing him at first.

"The girls wanted to hook you up with Noora. I didn't want you guys there because I thought they'd succeed.", Sana confessed. That was years ago bit she still remembers how it felt.

Yousef chuckles lightly but shakes his head: "I never was interested in her, you know that."

"I know that now. But then, I felt like it made sense for you two to end up together."

Yousef leans forward and takes Sana's free hand in his and shakes his head. "Do you remember how I came over to you on the tram on the way there? Why would I have done that if I wanted to be with anyone else but you?"

Sana rolls her eyes. He doesn't get it, he still doesn't after all these years.

"Yousef, you're a generally nice guy. I thought you were just being nice.", then she smiles a little, "But you can't imagine how happy I was when you did join me there."

"But you loved to avoid my eyes.", Yousef reminds her. "You know, I had to find so much courage to go over to you. I thought to myself, okay. She's standing there alone. Now is the time to join her and talk. I was so nervous you wouldn't react and when you at first didn't really look at me my heart sunk."

"Ooh, don't say that! I didn't know! And: I was so shy around you that I couldn't physically look at you for more than a few seconds."

"Aww, how cute! Little did you know that I only came to that party after Elias mentioned that you'd be there. And when I saw you standing distanced from the rest of us I had to do something. And I hated whoever called you in that exact moment.", Yousef reminisces. He didn't know how he would go over to Sana without being too obvious about his crush.

Sana almost chokes on her coffee and starts laughing. "That was my mother."

"I love your mother but she did interrupt us more than once, if you remember.", Yousef says thinking back to the very beginning of their relationship.

Sana puts down her now empty cup and also takes Yousef's. Her eyes wander over the table that is full of food and decides on the chocolate cake they had made.

"After you walked me home. The day we brought Elias to Noora's.", Sana remembers. All of that was years ago but Sana remembers everything as if it was yesterday.

She takes a bite of the cake and offers Yousef some. He just leans forward and opens his mouth, so Sana holds out the fork with cake to him. While chewing he opens his mouth to talk but Sana kicks him lightly. He acts offended and glares at her playfully but waits to talk until he's done eating.

"Girl, you made me so nervous then! All I wanted that day, after having brought Elias there, was to spend a little bit of time with you. At that time I didn't know how to initiate anything because I didn't know if you liked me."

Sana leans back again and remembers that day. She had declined walking with him before agreeing. She's so glad that she did agree in the end. Just thinking about that evening makes her smile broadly.

"I don't even know how we ended up on that basketball court.", Sana says. "But I'm so happy we did. After you told me you were not Muslim I thought that was it. Nothing would happen between us. That it was not possible. But talking with you about it made me realize ... it's fine because we share the same values. And look at us now. That is, to this day, one of the best conversations I had. Even when we disagreed on something so big we could talk about it without becoming aggressive."

Yousef listens to his wife remembering how she felt that day. He is so in love with this woman and at that point in their relationship he was pretty sure they'd end up together if she gave him a chance. And watching her fondly smile at the memories makes him smile.

"I'm going to be honest here. It started out rough that evening. I honestly thought you didn't enjoy walking with me so I said and did childish things to just get any reaction from you. But once we started playing basketball all that tension went away. And you already know this but you were the first person I ever told all that. You made me feel comfortable enough to open up. And I kept thinking about that evening for days. Maybe weeks."

"You're still a bit childish.", Sana comments when he stops talking and they both burst into laughter.

"That's what you got from all that? Really?"

Sana presses her lips together and shakes her head. "Don't be mad, pleeease. I love you!"

Yousef narrows his eyes at her playfully. He just grumbles an 'I love you, too'. She's too cute for him to get mad at her. It rarely happens.

Sana rolls her eyes at him smilingly, puts the plate down on the table and crawls over to Yousef. She puts her hands on either side of him on the armrest and kisses him.

"You're not mad, are you?", she asks him. After the kiss she didn't move much, only millimetres and now she looks at him with hopeful eyes.

He shakes his head and puts his arms around her waist. She settles right next to him, leaning her head lighting on his shoulder.

"You're too cute for me to be mad at you.", Yousef says and kisses her cheek.

Sana turns her head to him and narrows her eyes. "Stop calling me cute all the time."

"But you are cute!", Yousef answers because he knows what kind of affect it has on her.

Sana crosses her arms over her chest and mumbles: "Ah, I hate you."

"You just told me you love me!"

"Well, now I hate you!", Sana answers grumpily.

Yousef hugs her close and nuzzles his face in the crook of her neck.

Knowing very well that she's joking but wanting to hear her say I love you again, he asks her: "You really hate me?", in the most innocent voice he can muster up.

Sana sighs. "Dude, I literally married you. Of course I don't hate you!"

They both laugh at that. Sana is probably the only one who can make calling her husband 'Dude' sound so nice.

For a few silent moments they sit there, Sana in Yousef's arms and both are content with how their lives turned out so far. Sure, it was not all sunshine and rainbows in the past but where they are right now in their lives, that where they always want to be.

"Want to know what I'm thinking of right now?", Yousef whispers in Sana's ear.

"Hmm.", she makes an agreeing sound.  "Our first hug, years ago. The night before I left for vacation."

"How so?", Sana asks. Why would he think of specially that right now?                      

Yousef thinks back at that day and remembers the mixed feelings he had. "Because for the most part, I was unbelievably happy that evening. I spend the last night before being away for two months with you. I had almost given up at that time."

"Ooh, you want to look up the Video? The one where you can see your reaction to me calling?", Sana perks up and leans a bit away to be able to look at him.

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head: "No! We're not doing that. I still hate Mikael for not editing all that out!"

"And I still love him for not editing that out! It's good payback for making me think you couldn't meet me. I accepted that but it made my heart ache. And you were only joking!", Sana says to that. She was so nervous about calling him and asking if he could meet her and he had the nerve to joke like that. Looking back it's funny but in that moment she felt crushed.

"Hey, don't be like that! I was so afraid that you'd take that serious that I couldn't even keep it up for a minute."

Sana leans back against his shoulder again but turns so that she can look at him anyway.

"That was such a bittersweet evening, though. I had a really good time. I mean, I knew I wanted to be with you but that evening made me realize that all my worries at that time about us being together... that they were not so big of problems. My mom had told me I would need someone to remind me from time to time why I believe and you did exactly that. You keep doing that if I need it.", Sana realizes that she is not sure if she ever told him that. She always thought it but did she ever voice these thoughts?

Yousef looks at her with the most loving look on his face which makes Sana peck his cheek.

"And we had so much fun. You being 'attacked' by the swan? Iconic. I'll never get over it!", Sana adds and starts laughing.

Yousef laughs with her but shakes his head. "Those animals are evil."

"Yeah, they definitely are.", Sana says in an sarcastic tone.

This time Yousef leans away a bit to be able to look at his wife. "You were really mean that day?"

Sana stops to think. Was she? No, she wasn't. She definitely wasn't. So she looks at Yousef with a confused look and he starts laughing.

"I mean, because you looked so good! You always look good but that evening! You know, it was never about physical stuff for me.", Sana nods at that. He was always so respectful and especially that day she was the one to initiate any kind of physical contact, not him. "But that evening, I couldn't stop thinking about wanting to hug you, at some point even kiss you. You were so mean looking so good all evening, being funny and just the way you are. But I knew I could wait. Because I knew if you were willing to give me a chance, that we'd be in for the long run and I didn't mind waiting as long as you need."

Sana looks at her husband in amazement. How is he so considerate and cute and the best husband anyone can wish for? To not get too emotional on this Saturday she adds something.

"We did hug, though."

Yousef nods with a big smile. They did. Again, she initiated it. Both times. The first hug was not a goodbye hug. It was a 'I'm glad we're here, together, and thank you for the great time' kind of hug.  Yousef was so excited and nervous that he feared Sana would feel his unbelievably fast heartbeat.

"O my God, that was the same night you held my hand for the first time!", Yousef exclaims suddenly as that thought comes to his mind.

Sana starts laughing at his sudden outburst, seeing as they were talking calmly for the past minutes.

Remembering that evening Sana gets excited all over again. "Do you know how much it took of me to reach for your hand on the way back? I only managed when we were 5 minutes away from my house."

Sana remembers walking next to him, so close that their hands touched every few seconds but he didn't reach out to hold her hand. Sana knew that Yousef just tried to be respectful and not cross any boundaries and she was so thankful for that. But in that moment it would've made it all easier if he just held her hand. Yousef knows he wanted it really badly but Sana doesn't.

"But you did." Yousef smiles and adds: "That was a lucky evening for me."

The second hug of that evening was in front of the Bakkoush house. Still holding hands both had looked at the window, at that one window. Gladly, they had noticed that there was no one at the window.

"Hey, but the goodbye hug... that was not all me!", Sana claims. And she's right.

Yousef nods and plays a little with the loose strands of hair around Sana's face.

"I was about to leave for two months of vacation after having that amazing date with you. I couldn't help myself. I had to give you a goodbye hug!", Yousef confesses.

Sana smiles, showing him her dimples which makes him cup her cheek and let his thumb wander over it.

"It was a bit awkward at first. We both went to hug the other at the same time but not knowing that the other would do that.", Sana remembers and shakes her head. If that doesn't describe their early relationship then she doesn't know what does.

Yousef hugs Sana close and kisses the top of her head. Remembering how this all started, and seeing that they are married now. He knew even then that he wanted to be with Sana for the rest of his life. He knew that it wasn't just a stupid crush he'd get over. That was not a possibility to him.

"I was so happy when we got to say goodbye without your mother interrupting us by calling you."

"Me too."

Two times Sana's mother had interrupted them; that one time she didn't. That one time might have changed the direction of their relationship and now they are married.

[frenchibi]

♘ for the drabble thingy if you want to do it :D

HECK YES THANK YOU I needed something soft today so this prompt was perfect??

♘: Cuddling in a blanket fort

Prompt from here, send me one!

When Tooru comes home, the lights are off.

It’s so strange that he actually stops in the doorway, blinking into the darkness in confusion.

He’s sure Hajime is home, too, they’d texted only a couple of hours ago.

> u home for dinner? >want me to bring smth?

>still got leftovers. later

>ok

He’s never particularly articulate in texts, so Tooru didn’t think anything was wrong.

But the apartment’s dark.

“…Iwa-chan?” he asks, flicking on the light in the hall before closing the door behind him. “You here?”

He glances into the kitchen, finding it empty, and ducks his head into the living room.

Oh.

[A memory flashes at him out of nowhere, of one of the worse days, of sitting in his room,

back at his parents’ house, blinds closed, refusing even sunlight.

The dark is comforting, sometimes. It hides the tears.

And then there’s Hajime, stubbornly knocking on the door until Tooru unlocks it. Trying to coax him out.]

Tooru crouches down in front of the shape on the couch.

He’s hugging his knees, with his face buried in his arms.

“Hajime?”

[“Tooru. Hey.”

“Go away, Iwa-chan.”

Half-hearted. Empty. Tired.]

Hajime shifts, without a sound, barely noticeable. Just far enough to peek up at Tooru without lifting his head.

Even in the dark, the only light in the hallway, his eyes look red and swollen.

Tooru’s heart stutters.

“Hey,” he whispers, “…did something happen, love? Are you hurt?”

Hajime shakes his head, just so, but his face twists, brow furrowing, eyes filling with tears.

“…just a bad day?” Tooru prompts, nerves fluttering, reaching out a tentative hand to touch Hajime’s knee.

Immensely relieved when he doesn’t pull away.

He just shrugs.

[“You don’t have to talk,” Hajime says. “But let me open the window.”

“No,” Tooru mumbles. He doesn’t even care he’s being petulant. Nothing matters. Nothing. Not even Iwa-chan, right then. Nothing.]

“…do you want to talk about it?” Tooru asks softly, fingers lightly tracing Hajime’s skin.

He shakes his head again, minute, barely noticeable.

[Hajime, standing up, letting out a soft sigh. “Okay.”]

Okay?

…and then Tooru remembers what happened next.

“Just a sec,” he says, before getting to his feet.

Something stops him from walking away - Hajime’s hand, suddenly holding his wrist.

Don’t go.

Tooru feels his entire posture soften, tension falling away. He reaches down, squeezes back.

“…s’okay, Iwa-chan. I’ll be right back. Just getting some blankets. Okay?”

Hajime swallows down a sob, turns it into a heavy breath, nothing more, but Tooru sees his shoulders shake.

He nods, once.

Tooru leans in and presses a kiss to Hajime’s hair, quick and gentle. “Just hang on.”

[“No lights,” Tooru mumbles, even though he’d been dead set on ignoring Hajime. It won’t help, anyway. He should just leave.

“…not even these?”]

Tooru ducks into the bedroom, dropping to his knees and reaching under the bed, not bothering with the lights.

He finds the box easily enough, fitting it under his arm before grabbing hold of the two large pillows and the comforter. Not enough, but he knows there’s more blankets piled on their armchair, where they usually sit, curled up together by the window. Reading to each other, more often than not, with Hajime’s hand slowly carding through Tooru’s hair.

Soft. Calm. Home.

Tooru lets the tiny smile the thought brings stretch over his face. Hajime is always comforting him. This should work.

He drops the things he’s carrying on the carpet at Hajime’s feet before moving to push aside the couch table. Hajime doesn’t budge, but Tooru can tell that he’s listening, by the set of his shoulders, the tension in his legs.

He slips into the kitchen next, grabbing the two bar stools at the counter and carrying them over to the living room, setting them down on either side of where Hajime is sitting. Then he gets one of the blankets from the armchair and spreads it on the floor in front of the couch.

“Iwa-chan,” he says, reaching out to touch his arm. “… move down here for me, love?”

Hajime hesitates, breath going slow, but finally, finally he slowly unwraps his arms, revealing the rest of his face.

“…where?” he whispers, hoarse and shaky.

Tooru gives him a smile, taking hold of his hands. “Just here,” he says, “right here,” gesturing to the floor in front of him.

Hajime glances at the chairs, eyes surely also taking in the pile of pillows beside him. His eyebrows rise just slightly, and maybe, maybe that’s the hint of a twitch of his lips. Maybe.

“…what are you doing?” he asks, voice raspy. But he asks.

Tooru pulls him down until he’s sitting cross-legged on the blanket, leaning back against the sofa slightly. He ponders his answer for a moment, before he says: “…making it better.”

Hajime huffs out a breath - it’s not quite a laugh, barely there, but it’s better than apathy, and Tooru takes it.

He leaves Hajime to sit and wait while he arranges the pillows around him. He might be fussing a bit more than necessary, but Hajime is at least looking at him now, letting out the occasional heavier breath that’s almost a chuckle, almost amused.

Tooru shakes out one of the larger blankets, arms stretched wide before he spreads it over the two stools, leaving one end to trail over the couch seats. He ducks underneath the small tent he’s made with another blanket under his arm, and reaches past Hajime to bunch it up behind him, to keep the upper one in place. Hajime shifts, then, almost imperceptibly, so his forehead brushes Tooru’s arm.

“Be right there,” Tooru promises, pulling back. It’s not quite done.

[There’s the sound of a plug being stuck in the socket, and even through his closed eyes, Tooru notices the soft glow. Not bright enough to be sunlight, or even the lamp on his desk.

Slowly, reluctantly, he opens his eyes.

Hajime, smile as gentle as it gets, standing just a few feet away, arms full of tiny, glowing bulbs.]

He drags the string of fairy lights out of their box and fits the plug into the socket by the hallway, as close as he can get to where Hajime is. The bulbs light up with a pleasant orange glow, flickering to life.

He smiles at the memory, and at the many that follow after.

They’ve come through so much. This, he knows how to fix.

He unravels the cable, lifting his arms and draping the lights over the top of the fort, so their soft light reaches the inside in nothing more than tiny spots, like stars on their ceiling.

Hajime gasps, barely audible. Tooru fights back a smile.

[“…oh,” he whispers.

Just-

Oh.]

Tooru grabs the comforter, tugging it behind him as he drops down to his knees and finally crawls into the fort, pulling it up so it covers them both. Hajime stretches out his legs, making room, eyes wide.

“…remember?” Tooru whispers, settling in beside him, their shoulders brushing.

[“…thought you might like these,” Hajime says, and it could be a trick of the light, so close to his face, but it looks like he’s blushing.

Oh.]

“…’course I remember,” Hajime whispers, and his voice breaks on the last word. Tooru shifts, then, pulling him down, re-adjusting the pillows until they’re both lying down, until he can open his arms and Hajime ducks underneath, into his chest, burying his face in the crook of Tooru’s neck. He exhales in a shudder that carries through his entire body, and it’s like all the tension that was left seeps out of him then, leaving him to melt into Tooru’s embrace.

“I’ve got you,” Tooru mumbles, bringing his arms up around him. Hajime burrows closer, entwining their legs, fingers clenching over Tooru’s shirt. He might be crying again, small hiccups interrupting his breaths.

Tooru waits him out, holds him close. Knows that he’ll talk if he needs to. That he trusts him.

[Hajime, stepping closer, unable to stop the grin spreading across his face.

“…reminded me of you,” he says, with a shrug that’s supposed to be nonchalant, maybe, but his eyes give him away.

He’s been thinking about this for a long time.

“…you saying I’m like stars, Iwa-chan?” Tooru whispers, in spite of himself. He already feels the emptiness fading, replaced by something fuzzy and warm.

He doesn’t hold out his hands, but he doesn’t stop Hajime either when he reaches the edge of the bed and drops the lights over Tooru’s head, tangling him up in them.

Hajime huffs out a laugh, fingers brushing Tooru’s hair.

“…glowing,” he says, like that explains everything.

Glowing.]

“…Tooru.”

He shifts, lips brushing Hajime’s forehead.

“Hm?”

“…today fucking sucked.”

His voice is still small, but there’s just a hint of indignation there, too. It’s gonna be okay.

“Yeah?”

Hajime hums, but doesn’t elaborate. He shifts his weight, nuzzling closer, lets out a sigh. And then-

“Tooru?”

“Yeah?”

He shuffles closer, pressing a kiss to his collar bone. Not much, just a brush of his lips.

“…thank you.”

It’s enough.

ao3

If you’ve read this far, leave me a comment and/or reblog? It’d really help me out :D

[this-ginger-has-no-soul]

Teenagers

(A/N): I’m sorry this is so short but I am sorta proud of it even with it’s small length so! 

Request:  1/2 Ooh can I request a Charles x reader (technically x Moira but anyway) based on Lying To You by Keaton Henson?? This is complicated but like, the storyline would be that Charles knew Y/N since they were kids and she was really special to him, and they were even closer as teenagers. Y/N was basically the opposite of him (rebellious, daring, v energetic and funny etc) and yeah they had a..unspecified romantic relationship as teenagers(point is they were basically soulmates) but smth happened to  2/2 Y/N when she was like 19 and she died. Now the actual story takes place like after First Class when Charles is dating Moira (ignoring the thing where he erased her memories) and it's about how he looks back on his memories w Y/N + how he thought he'd get over her when he got together w Moira but he still can't?? This was soo long I'm sorry but hopefully you get what I mean? xx

Warnings: none

   As we lie in bed, I feel lonely Though we're young, I feel eighty years old And your arms around me are keeping me warm But baby, I'm still feeling cold Baby, I'm still feeling cold

 "Charles," Moira whispers as she peppers kisses all along his bare chest. "Charles my dear, it's time to wake up," Charles groans softly, rubbing at his eyes as the sunlight streams through his windows. 

    "Moira?" Charles asks, hoping to keep his disappointed tone out of his question.

    "Who else would it be silly?"

    (Y/N). It should be (Y/N) sleeping beside him. 

    "No one love," Charles forces a smile as he kisses Moira's head gently. "I'm just a bit tired is all," 

     "Well, you were up all night in your study," 

   No, he was up all night looking at pictures of (Y/N).

     "Ahh yes, of course, that must be it," Charles nods, biting his lip to keep his rather negative thoughts at bay. What are you doing? What would (Y/N) think if they saw you lying beside another- 

    "I could make you some coffee if you'd like?" Moira asks softly, pressing another kiss to Charles' chest. 

    "Yes, coffee sounds splendid," Charles hums as Moira gets up, wrapping a robe about her naked body. She gives Charles one last smile before sauntering off, the sound of her footsteps echoing through the mansion. 

   Charles sighs, rubbing his hands over his eyes as he attempts to clear the voice out of his head (Y/N)'s voice out of his head. But no matter how hard he willed that sweet, soft voice away it stayed, like a damn fly stuck to some honey. 

   He remembered the first time they met, (Y/N) had been thrown out on the streets after their parents had discovered the could talk to animals, a mutant, just like Him. He of course took them under his wing and from there a friendship had formed. 

    "I'm (Y/N)," they had whispered shyly, hanging their head in shame as they looked down upon their dirty clothes.

    "I'm Charles," Charles squeaked, his voice still holding it's childlike quality. "Say, what is such a young child like you doing out in the streets?" To this (Y/N) sniffled, wiping at their dirt stained nose. 

    "Well, I haven't a place to live," they had whispered, shuffling their dirty feet into the cobblestone road. Charles hummed, looking (Y/N) over once before deciding to take them home, he always had wanted a play friend. Little did Charles know that that day he would take in the kindest, most beautiful soul on the planet.

    It was years later, (Y/N) was sitting out On the green grass as a bird perched atop their finger, chirping merrily to the content mutant. (Y/N) chirped back, mimicking the birds noise as they did. The two were in a seemingly very deep conversation when Charles meandered up, hands stuffed in his pockets and a smile of amusement overtaking his expression as he does. 

    "What do you talk about with these birds?" Charles asks as he takes a seat beside (Y/N), placing his arms out behind him to steady himself.

   “Many things,” (Y/N) stated softly, twisting their head this way and that to get a good look at their feathered friend. “The weather, the other birds, what it’s like to fly,” 

  “Do you ever talk to other animals?” Charles asks, staring at (Y/N) with curiosity. 

  “I happen to like the squirrels nesting in your trees,” (Y/N) turns to look at Charles with a small smirk. “I suppose I like talking to you as well,” Charles laughs, taking a handful of grass and throwing it at the other mutant. 

   “Oh be quiet you,” He chided, his smile nearly infectious. “I’m far more civilized than any creature you know,” 

   “Is that so?” (Y/N) challenged, their tone holding a bit of a teasing tone to it. 

   “I’m much more civilized than you, look at you, sitting out here in the dirt talking to a rabies infested creature,” (Y/N) laughs, throwing their head back as beautiful little bubble of happiness rise in their throat. Charles wants to laugh as well but his eyes are stuck on (Y/N) and his mouth runs dry, his throat constricting as he does.

    They looked so beautiful, the light hit their hair just right making it shine in the early spring morning, their lips were curved upwards in the most beautiful smile, but what truly enraptured Charles was (Y/N)’s eyes, gleaming with happiness as they talk and laugh with him, or chirp and sing along with the bird. Charles’ stomach drops when he comes to a sudden realization, it had taken many years for him to figure this out, nearly an entire decade but he loved (Y/N), he loved them with every beat of his mutant heart. 

   It was only a few months later, with the two teenage mutants perched happily upon a couch that Charles finally decided to act upon his feelings. 

   “(Y/N)?” Charles asks as she shifts his position, allowing his head to rest against (Y/N)’s thighs more comfortably. “Have you ever been in love?” (Y/N) hums as they reach down, running their gentle fingers through Charles’ hair. 

   “Yes, I suppose I have,” 

   “What does it feel like?”

   “Well, it feels like a lot of different things- it’s like knowing that every morning you’re going to wake up and see that beautiful smiling face and you know that your day is going to be so much brighter, it’s knowing that when you’re sitting out on the lawn that you’re not going to be alone whilst you talk to the fishes, it’s knowing that the love of your life is only sleeping just across the hall and that at any moment in the night you could sneak out and go talk to them but you don’t because you want them to sleep peacefully,” 

   “Well in that case,” Charles smiles as he closes his eyes, allowing (Y/N)’s fingers to glide through his hair. “I do believe I’m in love with you (Y/N),” 

Cause I found her, but now she is gone Cause I found her, but now she is gone Cause I found her, but now she is gone Cause once I found her, but now she is gone

   God- Charles should have tried harder, he shouldn’t have let them run off like that. He shouldn’t have let them leave the mansion, not with all the rising contentions and all the wars and weapons and-

   “Charles,” (Y/N)’s lip quivered as they reached up to touch Charles’ cheek, their bloodstained hand painting his cheek an angry red. “Do not blame yourself for this, please,” 

   “(Y/N),” Charles sobbed, his hand pressed tightly to their stomach as blood oozed from the bullet wound there. “Oh god, this is all my fault, this is all my fault-” 

   “Remember how you asked me what I talk about with the birds?” (Y/N) asks, a completely irrelevant time to be asking said question considering they were dying in Charles’ arms. 

   “Of course (Y/N) but how-” 

   “I used to talk to them about how much I loved you, your smile, your sweet eyes, your amazing voice, I told them about how kind you are, how accepting, I told them that you’re going to change the world some day, they’d just have to wait and see-” 

   “(Y/N), please, you’re only going to waste your breath-” 

   “I want you to look in my head Charles,” (Y/N)’s voice quakes as they speak. “I know you promised me you never would but I want you to, it’s my dying wish,” Charles sobs at their words, the pain to much for him to bear. 

   “(Y/N) please don’t make me-” 

   “Charles, I want you to,” Charles looks at (Y/N), at their watering eyes and small smile, even now they still looked like an angel, even coated in blood and dust and dirt they still looked heavenly. With shaking hands Charles pressed his fingers against (Y/N)’s temple, delving inside their head for the first and last time. 

   There wasn’t much to see or hear, in fact there was only one thing and he couldn’t even see it but rather he could feel it. All he felt was an undying sense of love, a love (Y/N) had felt for him. It was so powerful that it nearly took Charles’ breath away but he clung to that feeling, to those last fleeting feelings of (Y/N), of warmth and security, of love and happiness, of everything he could possibly ever want in life-

   “Charles,” Moira’s gentle voice is what pulls Charles away from his thoughts. His thoughts clear and suddenly he’s no longer clutching a deceased mutant but rather a warm steaming mug of coffee, made by his very own girlfriend. “Are you okay?” A look of concern flashes her features but Charles doesn’t acknowledge it, too focused on the steaming black liquid before him to even spare her a glance. 

  “Yes,” Charles murmurs, even though he knew he was far from okay. “Yes, I’m quite well,” He gives Moira a fleeting smile before sipping away at his drink. “Thank you my love,” 

[sugabeans]

i wanted to do the aesthetic themed ask list cause i’m bored waiting for my hair to dry (i just showered) and school-related work doesn’t appeal to me rn

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

today i think. i like to sing to the music i’m listening to when no one’s around i was singing haikyuu songs lol 

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

at first i was thinking something about my future like do i get a job that i like, do i live in a comfortable place, am i successful.. 

but tbh i wanna know how i’ll die lol 

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

n/a beb 

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

i kinda skimmed over the “first” and just read the “recent” and immediately i thought of when kevin liked my random tweet a few weeks ago. that made me super dee duper happy 

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

tbh i’d probably spend all my education money on a trip to japan 

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

i don’t but i really want to own a brown poodle and name it tako 

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

pass lol i don’t feel like going into details. but i’d talk about my sister 

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

yes, a very happy one. probably happier than i deserved 

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

i really can’t remember but i was probably crying to my sister about some anime or manga i recently watched / read 

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

my sister cause we do everything together 

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

nope lol i don’t open up to anyone except the internet 

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

lmfao who has conversations at 3am man i’m sleeping 

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

probably to my mom and something like “thank you for loving me” or smth 

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

they’re pretty cause i have them 

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

the .. you always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take quote  to me it means man karina you’ve missed out on a lot of things cause you’re too scared to take the chance 

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

“idk what i’m doing”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

go to japan. probably buy a place to live in japan too and then visit korea lol 

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

i think i am..? but i’m also a grudge holder. i won’t be mean about my grudges, but i’ll internalize them and associate negative thoughts towards the person i’m holding a grudge over..

so technically it looks like i forgive them - 

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

i know that you always tell yourself to stop comparing yourself to others. and i know it’s hard not to (your 20 year old self can’t seem to stop it either) but just accept yourself for who you are and don’t care about what other people think 

stop crying yourself to sleep thinking you’re not good enough or that you’re never going to amount to anything in life too. 

ALSO. LEARN HOW TO EYELINER PLEASE. don’t put liquid eyeliner on your waterline 

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

pastel bitches 

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

i want a tattoo of a bean sprout on my wrist and i have 3 ear piercings so 

i like them and i think people who have them are cool dudes 

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

i only wear eyeliner, occasionally mascara and i recently started putting bb cream over my acne scars (it doesn’t cover it much though)

and reason why i don’t wear more is cause idk what to start with. i have combination skin where i have insanely dry patches and super oily patches so i would probably need to use 2 types of foundation ?? idk i’m also just lazy and makeup is expensive so i only use the bare minimum 

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

ukiss has made me a happier person. they give me a reason to smile

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

beep boop 

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

ukiss: the happiest i’ve felt probably 

eric nam: i love eric so much he is so pure 

teen top, nu’est: yay 

bts: you’re an idiot for ruining this for yourself *insert regret*

troye sivan: the most i’ve scream-sang probably 

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

a letter from kevin saying thanks for the support would be hella awesome 

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

it’s very messy bc i am a lazy asshole 

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

shower, remove makeup in the shower, cleanse face in shower, brush teeth, play a random mobile otome game in bed, perhaps read some manga, fall asleep reading manga 

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

that in high school this guy confessed to me 

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

honestly i just want it to be a little lighter brown? like redish brown balayage? cause my virgin hair is boring and with lighter hair my brows would look better with taupe 

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

just need my sister and we would go around japan doing lord knows what 

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

that my sister discovers her passion in life, and gets a job she’s happy about 

that i get a job i’m passionate about 

or actually.. i wish i could win the lottery lmfao 

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

n/a 

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

n/a cause i’ve never been drunk or high 

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

murder my family (or anyone for that matter) 

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

listen to one song cause only seeing one person would get boring fast. also, seeing one person would limit me to literally everything. i wouldn’t be able to go out cause then i’d see other people?? 

but if you listen to one song, like a classical music piece or something, you can drown it out with other thoughts and daily activities 

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

lol what is love 

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

no cause my scalp is hideous and my face is round so without my hair it’ll look rounder 

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

i don’t go to starbucks. never ordered from them ever

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

my sister probably 

fin.

[0225pm]

currently listening to: nothing without you / 10cm please click on the link and give it a listen while reading the english translations of the lyrics because it speaks for me.

yo haha

han is probably not gonna like that i posted that first photo of him and his bird’s nest hair because he thinks it’s ugly but he’ll always sparkle in my eyes hehe.

anyway on this day i decided to run away from responsibilities (i need to find a shorter word or phrase for skipping work other than just “skipping work”) and went to see the doctor at bedok polyclinic.

did you know? bedok polyclinic has moved! after god knows how many years but ya they’ve moved to a new location situated in a building right beside fairprice. i forgot what’s the name of the building. i think heart@bedok or something idk LOL but yay to new facilities and the hospital-like interior! i actually really dig the new place.

ok so the night before i asked han if he can accompany me and he was like sure what time? and i said idk maybe around 2? and he’s like okkkkkk but then he came late anyway but haha forgivable cus i’m forever late also besides, even if he came early we would still have to end up waiting anyway cus even after he arrived, i was still waiting for my number to be called e_____e 

me: so long sia the person at the registration counter say maybe must wait 2-3 hours and told me probably around 4:20pm my number will be called han: ya la everyone today monday blues then want to see doctor cus all never go work me: >____> 

and then he went to the vending machine and bought some drinks and a snack. we decided to sit at the area near the vending machine for awhile before moving over closer to the tv screen thingy where your number will be shown when it’s being called. we sat there for like idk i think 15-20 mins just talking shit and me touching han’s face and neck LOLLLL because his body’s so warm and i was cold af even though i was wearing a pullover, until this lady asked us to move and sit inside.

lady: hi are you still waiting? if waiting you can wait inside. me: oh but my room isn’t in hub A, mine’s hub B.  lady: then you cannot sit here because here only for hub A. me: ?????????? han: ????????  me: oh really ah....... han: duduk sini bayar lain pe (i can’t rly rmbr what he said but i know he sounded annoyed hahahaha damn funny and he even said it loudly wtf gile boi want to carik pasal) me: *stands up* hahahaha let’s go bb there got seats *points to hub B area* (which is fucking just beside hub A LOOLLLLL) han: *moves along with me while still muttering the duduk lain bayar lain thingy*

and then!!!!!

me: bb come sit beside me la *there were two empty seats and i already sat in one) han: *moves his butt* random lady: *sits beside me* me: LOLLLLLLLLL  han:  me: you so slow LOL han:  han: *continued sitting on the arm rest of the sofa couch* me: are you comfortable haha do you want to move? *points to another area of empty chairs* han: i’m ok baby i’m sitting also what here me: um okkkkkk

but lol tbh i wasn’t even complaining bc him sitting on the arm rest thingy actually made me feel so fluffy bc i can grab his arm and smell his old man perfume jacket. idk why la but just holding his arm makes me feel so safe and warm and nice wtf idk how to like describe the feeling but i love it la ok. and then he pat my head hahahaha and i was being so passive aggressive about cus i said smth like it’s r00d but actually i like it wtf bodo sia me *facepalm* then he talked about how it doesn’t matter cus he’ll be paying for my head anyway and i was so confused at this point cus like uh what do you mean paying for my head??? then he explained about the zakat thing and how the man in the fam must pay all. quite interesting bc my parents did talked about zakat thingy before but i don’t really know much about it.

also!!! i’m not tryna like stir beef w old men out there but like i described the perfume as old man bc it smells exactly like the perfume my nose sometimes decide to take a whiff of when i walk past old yalam men going to the mosque. also!!! apparently the perfume is from a small bottle that his grandad gave him/used to use or smth i can’t rmbr clearly sorry this post is like 2 days old my memory is shit i need to learn the mind palace thing!!!

i also saw mustakim and his boyfriend!! at first i was like ooooh who is that familiar person and then i realised it was him but we didn’t acknowledge each other hahhahaha 

///////

ok ya so i went to see the doctor and decided to ask for doxycycline again to help with my acne and bumps. she also prescribed some 2.5% benzoyl peroxide for me though i’m currently tryna steer clear of any acne treatment products at the time being cus my skin is already super dry after washing my face and all those products i dumped on my face to help soothe and relief the pain when my face had a crazy ass breakout party the other time. also apparently you’re supposed to religiously take doxy for like 6 months before you can really see the difference wtf. i’ve been taking them for only a month and then i stopped cus i thought it wasn’t helping at all and the doctor before this that prescribed me doxy the 1st and 2nd time didn’t even tell me such basic info. but ya you’re supposed to take it for about 6 months but some people can see some changes in the period of 3-4 months. then she told me to just come back for monthly visitations and see if there’s any improvement. i should have probably also set an appointment for next month so i don’t have to wait so long for my turn but i didn’t ahhahahahaha

////////

then after more waiting for the collection of the meds, payment and official stamp for my mc, we finally went to eat!!! yayerz

han told me that there was fish n chicks at the coffee shop beside princess and i was like ?????? really???????? omg wow i didn’t know they have an outlet here in the east wah damn near leh!!!!!! so we decided to eat there! i would have taken better photos but nvm la hungry already also hahaha! i got chargrilled chicken with cheese pasta and fries for the sides, and han got black pepper chicken with the same sides. i’m gonna try their popular hawaiian chicken next time cus i saw a photo of it on the internet and it looks frikin delish!!! kinda wish i had ordered that one instead but it’s ok there’s always a next time!

and then we sat there for a really long time, the sun even set and the evening skies started taking over the day. we talked about so many things, mainly about what happened the other time at the hotel (will be in another post!), how cheated he felt when i didn’t wear matching outfits with him on the day we went to afa, how disappointed he was when he knew i wasn’t able to come on the day his mom got married after telling his cousins about me and styling his hair, grooming himself just to see my reaction when he pick me up, and then about NS stuff.

i felt so sorry.  and felt even shittier after he told me that he doesn’t wanna wear or try to initiate wanting to wear anything matchy anymore. but i guess, i understand. he doesn’t really like matching things (kinda sux bc i like it) and when he tried to do it, i ended up just brushing his efforts aside. 

sigh.

i was even more sorry about the day of the marriage. cus it was also our 9th month, an even special day for us. yet everything was ruined when all he wanted was to see me. i wanted to see him too, but circumstances wouldn’t let us. 

but i learnt something through this talk we had.  i’m also glad that he tells me things now without me having to force it out of him. i’m not sure if he realised that he tells me things but i really like that raw and vulnerable side of him when he talk about how he feels. not because it makes me feel like i have authority or whatever, but more so because he trusts me enough to confide and have a h2h talk about whatever he feels displeased with rather than just keep it to himself and letting his true thoughts and feelings consume him from the inside.

also by knowing our mistakes, and the hurt we caused each other because of our actions, we can learn from the mistakes and work things out together to try and prevent the same or similar things from happening again in the future. 

communication is really the key and i’m happy to know that han feels the same because he wants the relationship to go far. damn i’m starting to sound old. or maybe this is part of me adulting in a relationship. 

(to be continued)