#snowballed into an absolute monster of a ramble.

[ehlnofay]

19 for the worldbuilding prompts + Torr?

the profound quiet of a small settlement at night

North Eastmarch is freezing cold all over, but it wears different outside the city than within.

Torr would never call Windhelm warm – not even in summer months, no matter how used to it they are – but what little heat it has it clings to with great determination. The walls huddle together, trapping the air so that it’s either still and muggy or a howling wind, like each close-knit house is breathing in tandem. The heat of the people run up and down its streets, blood through its knotted stone veins. The city is alive, an ecosystem unto itself; its snow, dark with footprints, runs sludgy down the roads; a fireplace is always burning somewhere.

Outside of the walls, surrounded by nothing but empty air and snow-laden trees, a slow-moving stream running with barely a burble – it feels dead, in contrast. Silent. Branches reach needle-sharp across the blue-black sky, the ground is gleaming white and undisturbed by anyone else’s footprints, and the nearest fire is the barely visible gleam of the Kynesgrove mining camp, up the hill and through the sporadic spindles of the trees. The breeze ghosts past Torr’s neck and whips the mud-stained snow into a flurry.

In the city, Torr’s comfortable sleeping almost anywhere – as comfortable as they ever get, anyway. Some of the buildings have great gaps under the porch where the snow can’t reach and no-one ever finds them; there’s places in the nooks of the walls, and sheds built into the side of the house that people don’t lock, and Torr knows a few people besides who don’t mind him kipping on their floor every now and again, as long as he doesn’t ask too often. The outside isn’t like that. There’s not many places to go. He’s lurking around Kynesgrove tonight – on his way back from a quick venture out to get some things done that pay better than running errands around the markets – and there aren’t many options. The inn, which he can’t afford – the mine, which would be warm but is very guarded – the miner’s encampment or someone’s house, both of which would most likely result in being chased off. Besides, there’s a performative element to meeting people, especially adults, in strange places, and Torr’s not in the mood to play to strangers. So much of his being is caught up in Windhelm’s grimy alleys, tangled in the hair and fingers of its discarded children; he doesn’t know how to be himself away from it all.

But they don’t have to, seeing as there’s the rickety old sawmill on the edge of a stream feeding into the harbour. It’s not bad, as shelter goes; no walls, so the wind rubs its fingers wraithlike down Torr’s cheeks and tangles them in his hair, but at least there’s a roof. It looks newly thatched, too, the floorboards free of rot, the water-wheel still chugging creakily along. There’s no wood to cut here, all the nearby surrounding trees too scraggy to be worth the bother. The only big ones are part of the grove up on the hill. There’s no point in keeping the mill running, but Torr is glad it is; he watches the distant firelight flickering through the scrub, and listens to the splashing of the wheel. It’s proof that people and the things they make do still exist – if not necessarily here.

It really feels dead, out in the cold, with the leafless trees and the wind that doesn’t even whisper. It always does. It’s a bit discomfiting, which is maybe why Torr doesn’t go on out-of-city endeavours as often as perhaps he could; but really, there’s not work out here enough to make it worth it. There’s always problems with bandits on the road, but Torr’s not a good enough fighter for bounty work; there’s collecting plants and things to sell Nurelion, but that’s easy enough to do on a day trip. (And, really, it’s more for Torr’s own enjoyment, besides. They never even venture far south enough to get to the sulphur pools, which is where the more interesting things grow.)

This trip, though, is an outlier. Unusually efficient. Just a quick job for Niranye, scouting a merchant’s cart on the road – almost definitely for something shady, but that’s not Torr’s business, and it was too much money too easy to turn down. And then – just earlier today, foraging out in the wilderness as best as Torr (a distinctly urban animal) knows how – they’d come across a giant’s corpse, stiff and white as the snow it lay in. Torr’s no master alchemist but they know the value of a cadaver when it comes to brewing alloys and admixtures, so they set to with their blunt-edged dagger and now they’ve got a sack full of what may as well be gold. (Long as it doesn’t start to rot before they can get Nurelion to preserve it, anyway.)

Torr’s going to be rolling in it when they get back to Windhelm. They could use that money for nearly anything – pay off a few things they borrowed, new warm things now that winter’s coming back strong, bedrolls, waterskins. Endless options – which, strangely, is more exciting than it is burdensome.

It’s all the sort of decision that would ordinarily feel life-or-death urgent but right now feels – not small. Not insignificant, not at all, but distant. A choice to be made at another time, by another person.

(Torr’s whole being belongs to Windhelm’s back streets. They’re someone else, away from it all.)

That’s the other thing about leaving the city, spending time in the discomfiting slow-paced ghost-world outside. It’s quiet. Torr sits surrounded by the wind in the trees, the lazy murmur of the stream, the creak of the water-wheel, and nothing else.

He’s been called a worrywart (mostly by Griss in a strop) but to tell the truth he doesn’t think that’s true. Torr doesn’t fuss for the sake of fussing, he just doesn’t like to leave things undone; can’t stop until he finds a solution. Out here, alone, in the empty cold, there are no solutions to find – same old problems back home, he knows, but no steps he can take at this time to right them. That’s never true while he’s in the city, so he can never stop thinking about it, every choice and action accompanied by a buzzing background chorus of everything else he really should be doing – that really should have been done by now – that should never have been left undone this long, what was he thinking? Everything is urgent when it’s doable. But here and now, there’s nothing to do.

So Torr sits hunched on the board floor of the ramshackle watermill, huddled among their heaps of bags and blankets, and thinks of nothing at all.

Not strictly true. They think of supper – haven’t eaten since an apple this morning, except for some snowberries they found around noon, and it’s been a long day. They nabbed some turnips from the garden of the Kynesgrove inn on their way to the mill. They’re fresh, if nothing else – also covered in dirt, so Torr rises reluctantly from their pile of stuff to crouch on the banks of the stream and dip the vegetables in to clean them off. It aches like hell, the frozen water turning their joints to ice – they almost drop the turnip they’re washing, so they scrub it as best they can with the frigid pad of their thumb and whip their hands out of the water soon as they’re able. They stick their fingers in their mouth to warm them back up.

Even after all that time spent warming up their hands, arraying all their belongings back around themself to conserve body heat, the turnips are still cold enough to hurt Torr’s teeth when he bites in. He eats them anyway, relishing a little in the unearthly silence and the aching of his lips and palms. They taste delicious.

With nothing else to do after, the gnawing of his stomach sated, he wraps himself in his shawl and stares up the hill at the camp’s fire until it goes out. The stars wink into brighter being. The wind whistles through the whip-thin branches of the trees. The water-wheel creaks.

Torr sleeps, but he feels like he hears it all – a silent observer, an echo, a beginning – until morning.

[m1kedefendr]

im just letting you all know that s1 literally established that Mike’s feelings for Will went beyond friendship. That they had a special bond. Mike and Joyce were the two people that cared THE MOST about finding Will. Mike literally convinced Dustin and Lucas to look for Will. Mike let a random girl he found in the woods STAY AT HIS HOUSE INSTEAD OF SENDING HER AWAY (like he said he would) JUST BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE COULD HELP FIND WILL.

s2 further pushed this because yeah maybe Mike spent 353 days trying to call El on the walkie talkie, but he literally NOTICED EVERY SMALL THING ABOUT WILL ACTING DIFFERENT. FUCKING CRAZY TOGETHER HAPPENED? HE WENT TO WILLS HOUSE AND BEGGED JOYCE TO LET HIM IN. HE STAYED BY WILLS SIDE AT HIS HOUSE, SLEEPING ON HIS FLOOR. HE LITERALLY TOLD WILL HE WAS A SUPER SPY AND HELD HIS FUCKING HAND. HE STAYED IN THE HOSPITAL/LAB WITH WILL EVEN THOUGH HE WAS FUCKING POSSESSED AND TRYING TO MURDER EVERYONE. HE WATCHED THEM TRY TO EXORCISE IT OUT OF WILL WITH HEAT. HE TOLD WILL THAT ASKING HIM TO BE HIS FRIEND WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED WITH NO BACKGROUND NOISE OR MUSIC AND NO ONE ELSE EVER IN THE SHOT. HE LOOKED JEALOUS WHEN WILL DANCED WITH THAT GIRL AT THE SNOWBALL, LOOK AT THE SCENE. HIM AND DUSTIN ARE MAKING THE SAME FACE. ALSO ITS BASICALLY HIM AND JOYCE WORKING TOGETHER TO HELP WILL??

s3 looks like a shit show but IT HAS HINTS. The mall and movie scene with Lumax? Lucas said he was spending romantic time with Max… with Byler? The way Mike KNOWS Will is feeling something in the theater. the way Mike uses his Will voice. THE WAY THEY BOTH BLUSH? Also we can see Mike and El not being very into each other outside of just kissing (which El takes the lead in, ironically). The way Mike is with Will (and lucas) the entire time after lying to El and after she broke up with him. The way Mike looked at El confused when she broke up with him, but made his way across town in the rain to find Will and apologize. The best hint in s3? “Not Possible” and “I love you, too” scenes. Mike’s SMILE when Will says “not possible” to joining another party?? Come ON. Then right after that, his entire awkward demeanor with El. from the rambling about Christmas, to when she asks him if he remembers what he said in the cabin. Then when she says she loves him and kisses him, he stands there with his eyes wide open and he looks shocked. he looks confused, and even after she leaves he looks lost. When the moving truck is pulling away he looks absolutely devastated, but he still looks a bit confused and extremely lost. When he’s hugging his mom, he looks like his whole world crashed down on him. As if he hasn’t been fighting off monsters for the past two years, it looks like Will leaving crushed his entire spirit.

s4 was just so gay it’s not even funny. I’ve talked about Mike in s4 before so I’ll try to keep this short, but my guy’s room. One Way sign pointing to his closet. Buff men on posters. Cmon. The way he dresses fits him a lot, and he seems comfortable and happy in it, but the moment he’s in california he’s wearing the most heinous thing i’ve EVER seen in my life. Bro really said “fuck i gotta play the straight boyfriend roll!!” and threw together an outfit blindfolded bc he clearly can’t pretend very well. He is barely paying attention to El once he notices Will, but then acts all “hey dude broooo can’t hug that’s gay” with him?? As if he didn’t hold this mf so tight and sobbed before he moved away?? Rink-O-Mania was basically Mike staring at Will but never talking to him, then getting mad at Will for not telling him his girlfriend lied to him and being all sad the whole day (after his gf got publicly humiliated in front of the entire rink, even the DJ was in on it) Then got mad at his GF for rightfully sticking up for herself? Cant even WRITE his GF that he loves her. Fights her on THAT and calls her ridiculous, but apologizes to Will for their argument. Tells him he didn’t deserve any of it. Tells him HAWKINS ISNT THE SAME WITHOUT HIM (which basically confirms that Mike was so devastated at the end of s3 because of Will leaving, not El). Then the rest of it is mainly two gay boys pining after each other up until the junk yard (idk there were lots of cars, maybe grave digging scene is better, but i’m thinking of after digging when they’re sitting on a car) scene, where Mike literally says he should’ve just said the words she wanted to hear cuz maybe he’d be with her. He doesn’t love her, he just wants to make sure she’s safe. as he does with all the people he cares about. Then the van scene, the boy is literally staring at Will with heart eyes. He smiles so wide when he unrolls the painting, and he looks disappointed when Will talks ab El. Back in Hawkins when Will is talking about Vecna, Mike literally stares at Will like he did in s2 when Will was talking about the Mind Flayer and being a spy. He grips his Shoulder and says “we will.”, mmm parallels “he won’t”. the shoulder grab parallels the hand hold.

Added bonus: Notice how in every single season after s1, somehow El is separated from Mike, and he spends the majority of his time with Will?

In conclusion, Mike Wheeler is a boy kisser and he’s been head over heels for Will since he asked him to be his friend!!

[loafbud]

im bored and i love gleeoks and i got some headcanons for these guys so here's some rambles about these creatures ;;

Flame Gleeok [🔥👑]

[he/him] The cockiest most brazen out of the Gleeok trio. His heads always have a big stupid grin and haughty gaze, like he's just asking you to punch him in the face(s) with that dumb smirk(s)! He's very boastful over the littlest things you could possibly think of. He has an account on Gleeoktok and is quite the viral draconic monster there!

Flame would visit Thunder's place in the Colosseum Ruins and talk the cold, cantankerous Gleeok's ears off about anything that comes to his mind. Thunder really hates it when Flame makes them watch Gleeoktok videos with him, as Thunder honestly has no interest nor knowledge on how social media even works.

Now when it comes to Frost? Flame and Frost surprisingly get along! She is used to Flame's loud, talkative behavior & hearing him go on and on aimlessly. Unlike Thunder, she's also patient with him too and supports him on his Gleeoktok journeys!

Frost Gleeok [❄️👑]

[she/her] An absolute sweetheart; loves playing in the snow! Sometimes she can't tell the difference between someone trying to battle her or them wanting to play, so she has a tendency (even during battles) to roll giant snowballs that can send someone flying. Out of the other two Gleeoks, Frost is the most carefree and welcoming. For an ice dragon, she has a very warm heart!

Thunder Gleeok [⚡👑]

[they/them] Cold and calculating, and a force to be reckoned with at that! Thunder always seems to have their chins held high and chest puffed out, and they have a stiff, grand stride.

Thunder has a very short temper yet he has an unnerving way of keeping his composure when around irritants. Oooo don't get me started on Flame! Thunder wants to take his claws and scratch out every single of of Flame's heads.

[wip]

King Gleeok [🔥⚡❄️👑]

[wip]

[mydarlingwitcher]

Jaskier bribes Geralt into coming to one of his classes to show some point about how life on the road blah blah blahblah and Geralt just sits in Jaskier's chair glaring at all the giggling students, one of them even calls him Mr. Pankratz on their way out

First of all, I need you to know that when I read this in bed last night I snorted so loudly at Mr. Pankratz! You genius, you.

I wanted to write a short drabble about it, because the idea is just so good (and we’re all in love with the professor!Jaskier art, right?), then it somehow snowballed into a 1k ficlet. Because I have no control over my brain. So now let’s slap a very dignified title on this thing and call it a day lmao

Professor Pankratz brings his himbo husband to class

Geralt surprises Jaskier by travelling back from Kaer Morhen a fortnight earlier than planned.

Of course, when asked, he simply states that they’ve had a mild winter and there was no sense in loitering inside the castle walls when he could have picked up a few contracts along the way.

“Naturally.” Jaskier agrees with a knowing smile. For once, he refrains from calling the witcher out on his bullshit. That’s one of his many ways to show Geralt that he missed him, being mindful of the man’s appreciation for quiet after a taxing journey.

Just like Geralt is always more prone to soft touches and casual gestures of affection, after he’s been away from his lover for so long. It’s the sweetest thing, really. Like the first bite of a warm pastry filled with jam.

And not even Jaskier, for all his lyrical prose and dewy-eyed emotions, could have imagined a future like that for the both of them. But against all odds, it works. Summers circle back to misty autumns, icy winters give way to springs and their bond grows fonder, steadier and all the more fiery for it.

The bard doesn’t say much that night, but he does draw a hot bath for Geralt and he scrubs his back, unknotting the tension in those broad shoulders with a nimble touch born of intimacy.

“Hmm, I needed that” Geralt murmurs once he’s drying his hair with a towel that smells like lavender. It means thank you, but also come here.

They tumble into bed together not one minute later. It’s been four months and they’re eager, so thrilled to stroke and lick and bite, to plunge and sink deeper.

They’ve dreamt of this so many times.

After, when the window is cracked open and the smell of sex blends with their languid breaths, Jaskier rolls over and slings an arm across Geralt’s flank to draw him closer.

“Come teach my class with me tomorrow.” He whispers in the witcher’s ear. He’s sporting a neatly trimmed beard these days, and it tickles Geralt’s neck in the most tempting way.

Geralt chuckles dryly, but the lack of an immediate quip tells him that Jaskier is serious. It’s a little scary how often they can read their minds by now.

“Don’t think so. You’re the teacher, Jask. I’ve got nothing to tell them.”

“But you’re the reason I’m still alive and teaching in the first place. Besides, you can just sit there, look pretty and answer some questions. My students have heard a lot about you, they’ll adore you.”

“Jaskier, no, you know I don’t-”

“If you say yes now, I won’t ask you for another three years.”

Geralt considers it as Jaskier nips at the nape of his neck. “Deal.”

How awkward can it be anyway, the witcher asks himself as they walk inside a small classroom on the following morning.

Pretty fucking awkward, as it turns out.

“Good morning, professor!” A couple of students pipe up, before a dozen pairs of young and excitable eyes zero in on the massive, leather-clad man standing next to their teacher. Even without his swords, there’s no mistaking who he is.

“Melitele, is that-”

“It’s Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier’s muse!” Someone hisses with unabashed glee.

Geralt glares at them, wide-eyed and scowling, and they stare back. Trust a bunch of green singers and poets in training to call him, a witcher of Kaer Morhen, a blasted muse to his face.

“Yes, we have an acclaimed guest with us today, and I’m expecting you all to be on your best behaviour.” Jaskier announces with a flourish of his hand and a smile that’s equal parts dazzling and menacing.

And fuck it if that doesn’t turn Geralt on a little.

But this is decidedly not the time for it, so he dumps all of Jaskier’s books and scrolls on the desk and he just sit there, feeling very much like he’s trapped in a Kikimore’s nest.

Meanwhile, Jaskier prompty busies himself with returning the lastest assignments, taking the time to bestow a comment or two on each student. It’s clear that his pupils hold him in high regard, but they’re not afraid to interact with him.

Geralt remembers a couple of tales about Jaskier’s education, and how literacy was beaten into him with a stick, to quote the bard. It’s a thought that sits uneasy in his stomach, even now. Which is why he feels a surge of admiration witnessing his lover in his element.

He’s not playing the lute yet, but he’s composing a symphony nevertheless, carefully guiding and encouraging every young man and woman.

Then he launches into a full analysis of an epic poem and the merits of adapting a story to the metrics of a contemporary ballad, talking fast but never rambling, and no one is staring at the witcher anymore.

Geralt crosses his arms and listens, his cool exterior still in place, though Jaskier can definitely tell he’s amused. He flashes him a smug smile.

The class soon nears its end and Jaskier goes to stand behind Geralt, placing a hand on his shoulder. A couple of students most definitely mask an aww with the turn of a page or a cough.

“Now, as you’ve been such lively listeners, let’s see if our guest would like to, um” He tilts his head and meets Geralt’s wary gaze, “Answer a few questions, absolutely not related to his personal life?”

Four hands shoot up immediately. Geralt groans.

The questions are actually nothing like he expects.

“Did you ever meet Filavandrel again? Would you say your advice had some influence on his decision to change the rules of succession?”

“Was your life any different during the plague?”

“How does it feel to have inspired many tales that will live on as popular folklore?”

Geralt does his damnedest to give passable answers using as few words as possible. He’s sure no one is very impressed, but if they’re disappointed, they don’t show it. Smart brats.

As soon as Jaskier declares that their time is up, he stands up in one fluid motion and he heads towards the door with a brief “Hm. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Mr. Pankratz!” A girl answers politely. That stops him dead in his tracks.

Mr. Pankratz?

“What the fuck, Jaskier.” He mutters as he turns around and fixes his lover with a stunned glare. The man throws his head back and chortles, and the whole classroom bursts into laughter after that.

Geralt doesn’t remember ever blushing for such a trivial thing. For a second, he’s legitimately hoping some monster will emerge from a dark corner and swallow him whole.

Jaskier teases him about it later, but not that much. And he more than makes up for it when he drags Geralt to his chambers.

All in all, Geralt doesn’t regret visiting him in Oxenfurt. Quite the opposite.

[unwiltingblossom]

I’m back!

And now that it’s been years since it was a thing, can we talk a bit about how Undertale is absolutely written with just...thinly veiled contempt for the player? As if playing the game and having fun doing it is just a contemptible concept that should be mocked and undermined at every turn?

“Oh but if you have fun killing monste-”

ahahaHA that’s a nice try, except pacifist and neutral mode treat you with that same contempt, it just tacks on a vaguely happy ending depending on how well you follow the rules. Let me explain if it’s not been discussed!

First we’ll start with the obvious part people would immediately think of just to get it out of the way but be thorough: violent delights

The game will instantaneously punish you for playing it like a normal RPG and killing monsters to level up when you face bosses you can’t beat. Even if you take a hint from the frog and only kill the kinds of monsters who look unpleasant you’re still getting slammed.

You get leeway of about 5 monsters before the ending starts punishing you, and if you kill even one before Undyne you can’t befriend her, cutting off a whole portion of an already short game. If you kill 10 or more monsters (over the entirety of the game) the people you had friendly relationships with will start getting cold or harsh with you.

Meanwhile, of course, everything you encounter will relentlessly attempt to kill you, and anything that doesn’t is only not trying because it doesn’t realize you’re a human. Monsters gleefully talk about the genocide of humanity with you, while the game fingerwags at you for harming any of them.

Asgore has murdered 6 innocent children, is crushed by the guilt, and is planning to massacre all of humanity for lack of a better answer, but if you kill any monsters you have no position to speak to him/get him to weaken his attacks.

So we’ve established that for the neutral-violent players, the game treats you poorly, despite programming it to allow you to do so, and in fact making it considerably harder not to do it. What most games would treat as an achievement or bonus mode is treated as basic requirements by the game. But we’re not actually done with this section yet.

We can’t talk about this without discussing the open contempt and disdain the game has for you if you go full genocide. First, it’s 100% possible to accidentally start a genocide route. Lose to Toriel and then play it safe by grinding up levels until you accidentally run out of monsters and you’ve activated genocide mode. The game will assume you did it on purpose.

This means Toriel will insult you, Flowey will become a cheerleader, and then Sans and Papyrus will treat you terribly. You’ll act like a mindless robot from this point onward, with no way to change course or react differently until you’re done with the puzzle cutscenes. If you continue on with it, then the game gets belligerent, calling Undyne the ‘true heroine’ when you know full well that this woman is 100% okay with murdering an innocent child so that the monsters can be free to wage genocide on humanity. Weirdly enough, Undyne being willing to kill a person who wants to kill all of her people makes her a hero, but Frisk being willing to kill a monster who wants to kill all of humanity makes them a villain.

eventually the game gets to Sans, who is hilariously likely the most fun boss fight to play in the game. The ‘punishment’ for the route is the number one motivator for most people to play Genocide, just because it has the most challenging and entertaining gameplay (and best track). The game then spends the rest of its time preaching at you like it did the rest of the game, but this time you can’t just skip through the dialog, whatever.

More importantly, along the way of genocide, Flowey himself gets scared and runs away from Frisk, terrified of them, because they’ve become a monster ‘even worse than him’ - Flowey, someone who has admitted to tormenting and torturing every monster in every way he can think of, just to see how they react, until he got so bored from the repetition that he ran out of things to do. BUT IF YOU RESET (before you kill Asgore), all of a sudden he can’t remember any of  that and instead gets angry at you for stopping. The game definitely considered you defeating Sans and reloading, as Sans has special dialog for that, so it’s not sequence breaking.

No, this is just the game continuing to act with its weird sort of disdain toward the player. It doesn’t want to let you have a different Flowey to interact with after you scare him witless - presumably because that would be potentially rewarding you for genocide route - so it just ignores all the rules it established for itself and pretends Flowey’s memories end before Frisk gets to New Home.

“Okay, okay, but none of this is a problem if you’re a pacifist! Just play the game RIGHT and it’s fine!”

Except it still isn’t.

Put aside that Undyne will still insult you for not killing any monsters, and that the game still has its preposterous concept that monsters should be allowed to be as violent and abusive toward Frisk as possible, but Frisk can’t lift a finger to stop them because they’re ‘more powerful’ (except the whole “not one human died” thing is a bunch of BS when they’ve collected the soul of every human who fell in so far, and Frisk will die if a machine so much as sprays disinfectant on them) - the determination doesn’t matter because it’s clearly a freak occurrence in Frisk’s case to have enough to bend time to their whim, not normal for humans.

Put that aside!

Let’s see what this game has to offer players who follow the rules:

There’s a mercy mechanic, wherein you either beat on a monster until it’s critically injured and then press the ‘spare’ button, or you use the unique option that appears for the monster first and then spare it if that doesn’t auto-spare it. Despite ostensibly being the primary method of how you’re supposed to handle combat, it’s extremely simplistic. It can’t be leveled up, and there’s no skill or complexity in it. The bullet hell and attack timings are more complex than it - and the former you use in both violent and pacifist forms.

Backtracking to Genocide a moment - that route also intentionally sabotages your gameplay, because ‘intent to kill’ just one-shots everything as long as you’re locked into ‘genocide’ route, so the only way to get the most out of the combat system is to play neutral route and be violent, but never cross the line into genocide. (hilariously, just sparing one single creature for any reason will save you from being a killer robot ever again even if you go on to massacre everything from then on and/or before then)

So anyway. The mercy mechanic is simplistic and boring, and the only complexity and interest in the fights come from the bosses, which are identical regardless of your body count - just easier/harder - unless you’re genociding. However, the two hardest boss fights, Flowey and Asriel, are designed to be impossible to lose to.

Another mechanic available to players who follow the rules is dating!

Except the gameplay is minuscule in those, too. Sans’ ‘dates’ are just him talking to you, while Alphys and Papyrus both have a date-fight mock up, wherein you don’t really do anything but have them talk to you for a bit and your choices don’t matter. Undyne has the most interactivity on the surface, with a ‘choose your own adventure’ sequence in her house and the an actual fight. Unfortunately, every choice is meaningless, and will either be rejected by Undyne if incorrect or lead to the same ending - the non-fight.

Mettaton doesn’t even have a date, but at least to his credit he’d been planned to have the most expansive one involving a marriage, it just got cut out and never re-added.

So the sparing mechanic is simplistic and the dates are glorified cutscenes where you don’t really ‘date’ the monster so much as hang out with them once and listen to them ramble on. But there’s more to the gameplay, right?

There’s puzzles!

Except not really. Despite the monsters repeating over and over about how big the puzzles are to monsters, most of them won’t even suggest playing any puzzles with you, and as for the ones gating your progress...99% of them are just literally not puzzles. They’re already solved by the time you get there, the monster with you solves it for you, or it’s literally impossible to lose.

.9% of them are puzzles that technically exist, but are so simplistic that they shouldn’t count, or are less ‘puzzles’ than they are tests of skill (the snowball into the hole, for instance)

.1% are puzzles that are impossible to win (or meant to be so) and the game just lets you skip.

imagine, if the game were really about its puzzles, Mettaton actually giving you puzzles that you could solve without Alphys or Mettaton cheating to let you win, not just time attack sequences that you can’t lose in anyway. Imagine if the tile puzzle were an actual puzzle you were meant to solve, Papyrus’ being a simplistic version and Mettaton’s being the full version. Like an actual puzzle game would have.

The pay off for the box slide shooter game can even be missed in the Core if you take the wrong path, while still maintaining your pacifist run.

Then, of course, the game will try to guilt you into no longer playing if you get  the Ultra Happy Ending. That would indicate you should try to get it last, except if you do everything else first, the game will go out of its way to screw you - not even in an entertaining way, either, just ‘punishment’ for the genocide route. It’s basically just daring you to do the good end first and then go back for the others, but then will mock you for it in the genocide route if that’s what you do.

Also on the subject of resets, despite the game acknowledging the resets enough for Sans or Flowey to yell, lecture, or quip at you about it, there’s almost no opportunity for Frisk to respond differently to a situation because it’s on a repeat loop. Basically if a new response exists, it’s to let you skip some dialog/a cutscene. Which is a shame, because if canonical loading and saving is going to be a big part of a game, it should be used in more than one or two boss fights.

So in review, what is the gameplay offered by Undertale?

Puzzles you don’t really solve

Monsters who try to kill you no matter how good you are, because your reputation is entirely deductive, not additive

Dates that aren’t really dates with choices that don’t matter

Mercy mechanics that barely extend beyond mashing one button

Combat mechanics you can’t explore in pacifist modes and that are sabotaged in genocide mode

Reset loop mechanics that punish you regardless of whether you use them to explore every possibility or whether you save the best route for last

Characters who react to resets only so much as to either punish/lecture you for resetting or allow you to skip gameplay on repeats

Three gameplay styles, none of which are fully fleshed out, and two of which actively punish you for using.

Now admittedly, this is an indie game, about 10hrs long, for $10. It being a bit skimpy on content and not fully exploring its potential isn’t surprising, and it’s forgivable.

The trouble is that all through this, the game and characters in it are treating you, the player, with contempt. Anything shy of pacifist will get you lectured by the characters, and even when you do go full pacifist, you’ll still not get away without being talked down to. The puzzles from Mettaton are some of the worst ‘it’s cute that you expected a real puzzle’ moments, but of course things like the dates do it, too. And of course, even the naming mechanic is just designed to trick and essentially ‘call out’ the player.

All the detail and care that went into the game seems to just be dedicated to negatively subverting the player’s expectations or lecturing/scolding/disapproving of the player.

Thus.

I say that Undertale is written with this weird thinly veiled disdain and contempt for the player, and it’s weird no one talks about it.

[socoolraywoodbloghere]

Kiss It and Make It Better 2

Hey, y’all remember [this post] from uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 2016? Guess who wrote a second chapter

Why am I having a fanfic-writing renaissance? I literally don’t know. 

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8297977/chapters/47506960

Ray tapped at the DS’s buttons unthinkingly, the Pokémon battle taking absolutely zero priority in his mind. It may not have his interest, but he had to do something. He couldn’t just sit there and do nothing, even if this something wasn’t actually fucking helping.

There was a deep breath from the bed he sat beside, and Ray stiffened to attention. He watched the bandaged chest fall back down in a way that looked like it probably hurt, but Ryan didn’t otherwise stir. Ray let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Ray watched him, lying there. He’d been awake when they’d stumbled their way into the med bay, so they were at least pretty sure he wasn’t concussed. Just hurt. Just very, very hurt. Just so stupidly hurt. Ray volunteered to keep an eye on him until he woke up – wouldn’t be the first time one of them woke up hurt and popped stitches trying to get up. Jack tried to argue, say he should be resting too, but Ray insisted he probably wasn’t sleeping tonight anyway. To be fair, he wasn’t sure if Jack was – she gets so worried – but she can be worried about all the other things there are to be worried about. Ray’s got this one covered.

This whole thing is Ryan’s fault, anyway. Ray told him to get in the car and go. Ray told him he was fine and had his bike as backup. But then Gavin blew something up, some other pieces of the plan got rearranged on-site, and Ryan refused to leave until he was sure Ray was able to get out without getting caught. Which is stupid, because yeah, there were more police swarming the place than anticipated, but Ray usually gets out fine. The last time was a fluke, and he got out of the handcuffs before they even realized he was a Fake and not just some random criminal, so it really doesn’t count.

If Ryan had gotten out sooner… At least he won his stupid knife fight in that stupid alley. At least he didn’t fall off the bike while Ray raced to their medic. At least there weren’t any complications sewing him up or getting him to this safe house. Ray tried to be comforted by these thoughts, but he just couldn’t be – not without having Ryan wake up first. If Ryan were awake, Ray could tell him what an idiot he was and feel better. Right now, all he can do is think it and hope he gets to say it.

Ray sighed and returned to his game, mind wandering off elsewhere. Ray’s got to say, at least working for Ramsey gets them the best healthcare he’s ever had. And they’ve needed it. He can still feel the phantom pain of a shot to his leg from some pig chasing him. The shot wasn’t as bad as the scare of tumbling off the roof he’d been running on – he was way lucky to have gone off the side with the fire escapes.

Before Ramsey, when it was just little ol’ Ray against the world, he got himself pretty savvy in fixing himself up. Studied a combination of Red Cross first aid guides and Wiki-how articles and got by just fine. Should he have done this studying before going into the situations in which he became injured? Arguably. Did he live? Apparently. So, there’s always that.

Well, and it wasn’t all internet wisdom. He and his mom didn’t exactly have health insurance back in the days before… well, before the rest of his life. Bags of peas for bumps and bruises, store-brand bandages are no different than name-brand, VapoRub and honey for coughs. Not to mention his mother’s habit of just ignoring when things hurt and praying it went away. Well, and the kisses.

It definitely felt silly thinking back to it now, but he was, once-upon-a-time, an actual little kid who got treated like it. Whenever there was a cut or a scrape or a bump or a single trouble, his mother would fix him up the best she could, and kiss wherever it hurt. For all the good a couple bandages and some rubbing alcohol could do, Ray really had been convinced that the kissing did the actual healing. Kisses were love, and love was magic, and magic could heal and protect. That’s what his mom said, anyway.

They needed the protection, too, what with all the monsters lurking in the closet and under the bed and in Ray’s dreams. They looked like the landlord with his big cigar, like the teenagers down the street that messed around the whole day long, and like a weird fish monster he’d seen watching power rangers once. So long as they had their magic, though, nothing could touch them.

Ray smiled sadly to himself. He wished that was how it all worked. He wondered how his mom was doing; he knew, but only in a remote way. He knew she still lived in New York, had a better job and a better apartment, and that she was seeing someone (his background check cleared fine, so it wasn’t a concern). But those were all numbers and bullet points from some people he had keeping tabs on some stuff. They didn’t tell him how she was, how she felt and what she thought and the last thing she saw on TV and if she’d picked back up on knitting. He wished he could know. It’s not safe, though, for them to know each other, and even if it was, he doubts she’d be very proud of her son: the wanted criminal. Making your way in life as an assassin isn’t exactly the bright future someone wants for their child. It was better this way.

Ray leaned his head back against the wall and sighed deeply. Why does he bother to think about things that don’t matter? He glanced over at Ryan again. The only thing that matters at the moment is that Ryan wakes up at some point. Ray can’t help but laugh a bit to himself at the thought that a little bit of magic wouldn’t be too bad right about now. Kissing and making things better doesn’t work, though. He knows that and it’s a fact and the little voice in the back of his head that insists that maybe it does, though, is very stupid.

He’s not going to fucking kiss Ryan in his sleep, that would be weird. He’s not going to kiss Ryan at all ever, because he’s a friend and a coworker and he doesn’t like Ryan like that. He just thinks he’s hot – which is honestly an objective fact and therefor cannot be held against him – and smart and skilled and maybe Ray appreciates his upper arm strength more than normal, but he never claimed to be normal, so it’s fine. Everything is fine. Ryan is fine. Not that kind of fine, like hot fine, though he is that, but like fine as in physically like going-to-live fine.

Ray put a hand over his face to try and stop his brain from snowballing further. Why was he here? Why did his brain insist on rambling to itself about nothing? Oh, right, get-better kisses. Ray looked at Ryan. He has to admit, for a guy passed out from blood loss he looks pretty serene. The moonlight streaming in was definitely shading his features in an unfairly dramatic way. Ryan would be happy that he woke up in a suburban safe house, he likes getting away from the city every now and then.

Ray looked at the bandaging on Ryan’s chest, watching it all rise and fall with each breath. He tried not to think about how it looked when he’d helped the medic cut away the shirt, before he was shooed out of the room and made to wait outside for everything to stabilize. So stupid, putting himself in danger. The need to do something, anything, returned to Ray. He wished there was a way to help other than being patient. Being patient right now sucked. He needed to do literally at least something. Even if it was stupid.

It couldn’t really hurt anything, right?

Ray pressed his lips together and watched the bandages. Fuck it. “No homo,” he whispered as he bent down, and, before he could talk himself out of it, gave a soft, chaste kiss to the bandages. He pulled up and looked at them for a long moment, as if expecting something to suddenly happen. But nothing did.

Ray’s face burned in embarrassment and he sat back properly in his chair, burying himself in his DS. That was stupid, he felt stupid. Ryan being hurt is stupid. The Pokémon battle he barely realized he was in was stupid. This was all stupid.

It’ll all be better and be put back in the right place once stupid Ryan wakes up, already.

Until then, Ray will be right here watching his stupid ass and playing this stupid game.

--

Everyone – Jack, the medic, Ryan himself – was surprised at how fast Ryan recovered.

[worldnewsinpictures]

Do it. Fuck you. Fuck you. You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, youre an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole. The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did. When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality. After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society. No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member. Your birth made it so that mankind is worse of in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover into a state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune. I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell. You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted sac religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair. You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. Rhodes Island would have been better off if you'd never joined us. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being. Even this worlds finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are. Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe. In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now. You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet you manage to make it so that that is only a small part of the evil that is your being. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but here you are. Its hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you. Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to before this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors if they failed would have to many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it. I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did. The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant. Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring. You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the infected plague apparently only happened with the goal of teaching humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankinds greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created. If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched. You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again. The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe. I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating working as hard and efficiently as possible, yet there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world. You are an irresponsible, idiotic, disgusting, unloved, horrible excuse for a living being whos soul contains less humanity than every ginger in history combined. The absolute disgust I feel when thinking about anything that has even a slight resemblance to anything that might have to do with you and your unholy actions is so incredibly great that when I am honest about it I think that even I do not posses a consciousness great enough to comprehend my own feelings about it. When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe. My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless. There is no one in this world that has ever loved you, and especially after what you just did, no one will ever love you in the future either. There is no hope that your idiotic behavior and especially your crooked soul will ever change for the better, and in fact quite the opposite might be true. By making the mistake that you just did, you have shown me that you are so incredibly hopeless that you will only devolve into a more idiotic and wretched creature than you already are. The only possible way in which your future would be brighter than the black hole your existence currently is would exclusively be because there is absolutely no conceivable way that you would even be able to sink lower than the pathetic place your current failure has put you in.... Got an opinion about this? See what others are saying.... See MORE -> https://worldnewsinpictures.com/do-it #FuckFuck #FuckFuckYou #YouThe #YouTheEven #Jesus #JesusAfter #JesusAfterYour #YouYou #YouYouYou #Island #IslandYou #IslandYouEven #YouNever #YouNeverIts #EvenNot #EvenNotThe #YouEvents #YouEventsYou #TheYou #TheYouThe #Columbia #ColumbiaLungmen #ColumbiaLungmenHonestly #Lungmen #LungmenThere #LungmenThereThere #GotSee #GotSeeSee #useless #absolute

[anotherinternettrash]

Prompts

Angst

“Not you again.. ”

“Leave me alone. ”

“I don’t love you anymore. ”

“Why do you hate me? ”

“I thought you loved me. ”

“I don’t need you anymore. ”

“I can’t believe you! ”

“We cant keep this up forever. ”

“You’re a monster. ”

“I hate you. ”

“Don’t leave me… ”

“You’re a disappointment. ”

“Don’t die on me– Please. ”

“I never meant to hurt you. ”

“Are you upset with me? ”

“I wish I’d never met you. ”

“I’m going to kill you! ”

“Please don’t hurt me like this. ”

“Thanks for nothing. ”

“Give me a chance ”

“Don't call this number again. “

“Why did you spare me? ”

“You need to leave. ”

“I’m sick. ”

“I’m dying. ”

“I wish I’d never met you. ”

“I thought we were family!”

“There was never an us. ”

“So that’s it? Is it over? ”

“I fucked up. ”

“I came to say goodbye. ”

“He’s dead because of you. ”

“I don’t deserve to be loved. ”

“About the baby… It's yours. ”

Love:

“I’m so in love with you. ”

“Dance with me! ”

“Isn’t this amazing? ”

“I wish we could stay like this forever. ”

“Will you marry me? ”

“I need a hug. ”

“You’re special to me. ”

“I’m going to keep you safe. ”

“Do you trust me? ”

“Can I kiss you right now? ”

“You’re cute when you’re angry. ”

“I’ve liked you for a while now. ”

“We’d make such a cute couple. ”

“I want to take care of you. ”

“Can we cuddle? ”

“It’s lonely here without you. ”

“I can’t stand the thought of losing you. ”

“Shut up and kiss me already. ”

“Are you flirting with me? ”

“Is that my shirt? ”

“How did we get here? ”

“You own my heart. ”

“I want to protect you. ”

“Whats the matter? ”

“You’re so beautiful. ”

“Stop being so cute. ”

“You’re teasing me again… ”

“This is why I fell in love with you. ”

“You’re the best! ”

“They’re going to love you, don’t worry! ”

“Oh, Are you ticklish? ”

“Of course I remembered! ”

“Are you jealous? ”

“Hold me and never let me go. ”

“Stop hogging all the blankets! ”

“Let's run away together. ”

General:

“I’m fine. ”

“Are you drunk? ”

“Are you high? ”

“We cant go in there… ”

“Give it back! ”

“Well, this is just great. ”

“Don’t touch me. ”

“Not sure if you could tell, but I’m not exactly a people person. ”

“This was fun— Let's do it again sometime!”

“I didn’t do it! ”

“I did it… ”

“I don’t remember that! ”

“Well, that’s pretty rude of you to say. ”

“Get that thing away from me! ”

“You owe me. ”

“Do you believe in aliens? ”

“Do you believe in ghosts? ”

“Are you hitting on me? ”

“Why are you naked? ”

“You did what?! ”

“You have… Superpowers? ”

“Why are you bleeding? ”

“Where did all these puppies come from?”

“Don’t make me come over there myself! ”

“That wasn’t funny. ”

“This tastes horrible. ”

“This is delicious! ”

“Are you mad at me? ”

“Stop ignoring me… ”

“I love that show too! ”

“Can I borrow that book of yours?”

“Let's blow this joint. ”

“Let me help you with that. ”

“Take that back! ”

“Wanna go see a movie with me? ”

“No way, that’s so lame. ”

“What are you listening to? ”

“ I brought you your coffee. ”

“Don’t fuck this up. ”

“Run! ”

“Let's run away together. ”

“I haven’t slept in four days… ”

“Your turn to do the dishes. ”

“Was I really that drunk? ”

“Was I really that stoned? ”

“Give me back my phone! ”

“You’re an asshole. ”

“Are you cold? ”

“This place gives me the creeps. ”

“I swear my house is haunted. ”

“Did you hear that? ”

“It’s just your imagination. ”

“Just how stupid do you think I am? ”

“Stop being such a baby. ”

“Go back to bed. ”

“Are you okay? ”

“I can take care of myself just fine.”

“Thanks for helping me back there. ”

“Since when have we ever been friends? ”

“What on earth are you wearing? ”

“I can’t feel my legs! ”

“Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. ”

“Put me down! ”

“There’s only one bed… ”

“It isn’t what it looks like! Okay.. Maybe it is… ”

“How did I lose it? ”

“I read your diary. ”

“This is awkward. ”

“Didn’t you read the sign? ”

“Do you think you can teach me that? ”

Below is NSFW prompts.  Sexual:

“Bite me.”

“Make me.”

“Fuck me.”

“Stop teasing me so much… ”

“Do you like it when I touch you like that?”

“Okay... This is new. ”

“Want to head back to my place and have a little fun? ”

“You’re in trouble now. ”

“What a pretty sight. ”

“Bend over. ”

“On your knees. ”

“The food looks great but... There’s something much more delicious I’d like to eat right now.

“Lay back. ”

“Take off your clothes. ”

“Well, fine; just this once. ”

“I’m waiting. ”

“You’re so beautiful. ”

“As you wish. ”

“First one to make a noise loses.”

“You have no idea what you do to me. ”

“If you’re bored; Wanna have sex? ”

“I've wanted this for so long. ”

“Car sex looks so much easier in the movies. ”

“Can I touch you? ”

“No strings attached. ”

“Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? ”

“Mine. ”

“The nights still young. ”

“We cant do that here! ”

“Behave. ”

“What did you just say?

“Come here. ”

Random ones I had in a draft (i dont know where they are from)

“Stop moaning you big baby”

“Stop winking”

“Why did you have to be a smart person?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me”

“Why the hell are you drinking. At this hour?”

“Take. A. God. Damn. Break.”

“Shit, I'm sorry”

“How did you manage to be this stupid?”

“Your hair is so soft”

“Sorry. I just got lost in your eye’s”

“What are you writing about?”

“I love you”

“Is that my t-shirt?”

“Please don’t leave me”

“Please say something…”

“That's a stupid rule”

“How are you so pretty?”

“What the fuck?”

“You wanna go!?”

“Even the best fall down sometimes”

“You and i. We’ll be alright”

“What are you even saying?”

“Do that again”

“Please don’t”

“Hold me back!?”

“Oh its on”

“How are you so tall?”

“Not in that drawer!!”

“Don't touch that”

“I'm always going to be here”

“Help me up asshole”

“I'll show you where my shoe fits!

“Don't tell me to shut up”

“Don't dare touch me.”

“Could you kindly get the fuck away from me for a moment!?”

“Don't you know how to clean?”

“Why so flirty all of a sudden?”

“Is that the best you can do?”

“Don't you dare throw that snowball-OKAY THATS IT!”

“I'm a little drunk on you”

“I touched the butt…”

“It's too cold! Come back”

“No. I'm not letting you go. It's too early to get up”

“C'mere, you can sit in my lap till I'm done working”

“I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention”

“Just pretend to be my date”

“I think I'm in love with you. And I'm absolutely terrified”

“Your lips are so soft. I could kiss them all day”

“It's not bad to cry. In fact, i think it makes a person stronger”

“I remember practising asking you out in the mirrior..”

“Let’s just stay in bed”

“We live together, you can’t blame anyone else for this.”

“I want to marry you”

“I want to take a shower so you should probably join me. It’ll save water”

“You lost your chance.”

“Don't look at me like that”

“Pack your shit and go. Get out of my sight.”

“I don't want to live in a broken home.”

“I cant do this anymore. Not with you.”

“I tried to move on but nobody is you.”

“Please take me back.”

“Maybe I'm meant to be alone.”

“I fell like everyone has forgotten me. Like I don't exist.”

“I've been alone for so long…”

“I can’t belive you’d do this to me.”

“What about me!? Did you ever think of that?!”

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

“I'm going to skip the "how?” And “why?” And go straight to your cleaning this up.“

“Sorry I'm rambling” “it’s okay. I like hearing you talk”

“You were supposed to be my forever”

“Pfft. the stars have nothing on your eye’s”

“I'm mad at you because I love you.”

“The heater broke and I'm freezing, can I sleep with you?”

“hear cuddling helps you sleep better, wanna try it out?”

“Are you eating a jar of Nutella in one sitting?” “I have problems. Leave me be”

“If you insist”

“Thank you kind sir” “your welcome m'lady”

“Seriously?”

“I hate you.”

“Stop being cheesy.”

“I’ll slap you.”

“You know what! I love you. I fucking love you okay!?”

“Could you help me”

“Fuck off.”

“You lied.”

“You think that I'm going to forgive you after all you put me through?”

“You broke what?!”

“It's not nearly as bad as it looks, Darling”

“Frankly I couldn’t care less.”

“I don’t know where she gets it from”

“Bring that pretty little butt over here”

“We have to pretend to be married”

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“At what point did you think this was a good idea?!”

“You had me at ‘free pizza”

“Why are you always pushing me away?”

“How did you even get that up there?!”

“You’re evil”

“The sign said not to push the button, so naturally I had to push it”

“That came out wrong”

“I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”

“I just came to dance”

“You know my name?!”

“Oh, you beautiful weirdo”

“How bout dat!”

“I've never felt this way about anyone before…and it scares the crap out of me”

“None of this makes sense”

“You have a wicked sense of humour”

“I won’t let you fall.”

“Do you remember me? We were only 15”

“Your voice is like a melody, I could listen to you all day”

“I'm your’s”

“I'm only human!”

“Must be love on the brain”

“What do you want from me?!”

“Don’t mind if I do”

“Shut up and kiss me”

“Dork”

“Asshole”

“Ah, but I am cute”

“You will forever remember this as the day you nearly caught captain jack sparrow.”

“You did all this for me?!”

“What ate you afraid of?”

“What the hell was that?”

“Well the powers out”

“What now”

“Well. This sucks.”

“Awkward”

“May I have this dance?”

“Hand’s and eye’s off mate.”

“She’s mine.”

“Don’t freak out….but I think we got married last night.”

“Somebody is in love”

“You what?!”

“Did I stutter?!!”

“Fuck you.” “Please do.”

“I can’t wait to grow old with you”

“Why are you covered in mud?”

“You take one more step towards me and I will knock you off your ass.”

“Let him go. It’s me you want”

“Don't deny it.”

“Okay. This is seriously creeping me out”

“We have to find a way to make this work.”

“Is that…my picture on your wallet/ home screen?”

“If he asked. I’d be his”

“Come over here and make me.”

“Wanna bet?!”

“Pfft. Hold my beer.”

“Is there a reason why you’re naked in my bed?”

“Kiss me.”

“Marry me?”

“I wish I could hate you.”

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

“Please…dont do this…”

“I love you….”

“Is it really you?!”

“I’ve missed you”

“Boo.”

“Have you seen the- oh…”

“Shit.”

“Who crawls through someone’s window at 4 am to go and get ice-cream?!”

“Our first date is a picnic on a beach under the stars? Have you swallowed a romance novel? Do I need to call a doctor?”

“The only thing I want is you.”

“Are you ticklish?”

“PILLOW FIGHT!!!”

“Fight me”

“I will knock you on your ass if you even think about it.”

“I need you to pretend we’re dating…”

“I'm not leaving you.”

“Please…let me go.”

“You weren’t even going to say goodbye. Were you?”

“I'm hopelessly in love with you.”

“I bet I can make you scream my name”

“Pervert!”

“Childish. That's all you are.”

“I love you a lot. But stop trying to cook me dinner. You suck”

“If you shove cake in my face. This will be the worst wedding night of your life.”

“I bet its a girl/boy”

“IF YOU USE ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM BANISHING YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH”

“Our kid is totally the one who wanted to build a pillow fort. Not me”

“Your dad is really excited to see you soon…it's driving me crazy”

“Are you drunk?”

“I'm flirting with you”

“I had to see you again”

“I can't wait to meet you”

“literally everything about this is illegal.”

“you just want attention, you don’t want my heart.”

“you just want to make sure I’m never getting over you.”

“I can’t quit you.”

“I know I just spit blood all over you, and this is a really bad time but I have to tell you something.”

“there’s something you should know, in case I don’t come back.”

“I thought you forgot about me.” “never.”

“was that supposed to hurt me?”

“Maybe I should stop and start confessing.”

“it’s okay, I didn’t expect you to love me.”

“I trusted you!” “that was your first mistake, you're second, falling in love with me.”

“I have a plan.” “Is it a good one?” “I have a plan okay!"

“well, unfortunately, the best of the best was unavailable so we got the best of the mediocre.”

“you just hate the thought of me with someone new.”

“you shouldn’t be so trusting darling, the world is a dangerous place.” “you don’t scare me.” “I should.”

“oh god, you’re in love with him.”

“I don’t want to die.” “I won’t let you, if you die, I do too.”

“how long have you been standing there?” “longer than you’d imagine.”

“I am the one that listens when the line is dead.”

“that has got to be the lamest pick-up line in existence.” “Oh, honey that was just plan A.” “okay then what’s plan B?” “take you, hostage, duh.”

“they’re afraid of me. I don’t blame them, I’m afraid of me too.” “I’m not.”

“well, this is a nice change of scenery.” “we’re in a jail cell?” “oh for the love of god I was being sarcastic!”

“I wanted you to fight for me and you didn’t, you just let me walk away.”

“A small fire, my exact words were set a small fire, this is not small!”

“you know I can kill you right?” “I’m already dead.”

“what do you mean work with him? He tried to kill me. Twice actually.”

“If I knew that would be the last time I held you, I would’ve held on tighter.”

“I always knew it was you.”

“she doesn’t love me, she’s not that stupid.”

“I’ll be the first to tell you, I’m a terrible liar.”

“am I going to regret this?” “probably.”

“I’ve lost count of the promises you’ve broken, so please don’t make anymore.”

“I’d take a bullet for you, I told you that before.” “except you’ll heal, and if you tell me one more time, I’m going to be the one pulling the trigger.”

“wow can we pretend for one second that you’re not a complete douchebag?”

“you’ve got to believe me.” “sorry I tend to not believe compulsive liars.”

“shut up.” “but I didn’t say anything.” “I don’t care shut up.”

“uh, you have blood on your shirt.” “I suppose I do.” “You don’t just go nowhere and get blood on your shirt.”

“just take a deep breath or something.” “take a deep breath? It feels like my insides are being ripped out, and you want me to take a deep breath?”

“I’ll be there for you, but you gotta be there for me too.“

"So I uh notice you’re kind of naked, is that intentional or..”

[ah17hh]

you useless piece of crap via /r/emojipasta

you useless piece of crap

You 👆 useless 👩🏻 piece 🧩 of shit 💩. You 👆 absolute 💯 waste 😵 of space ⭐⚫ and air 🌬. You 👆 uneducated, ignorant 👌, idiotic 😜 dumb 🤪 swine 🐽😂, you’re an absolute 💯 embarrassment 😣 to humanity 🕴 and all 🤠 life 💓 as a whole 🕳. The magnitude 🔍 of your 👉 failure 🥴🤠 just now is so indescribably massive 🐘 that one ☝🏻 hundred 💯 years 📅 into the future 👨🏼 your 👉 name 🏷 will be used ♦ as moniker of evil 😈 for heretics. Even 🌃 if all 💪 of humanity 🕴 put 👏 together 👮‍♂️🐕 their collective intelligence 🧐 there is no 🚫 conceivable way ↕ they could have thought 🤔 up ☝ a way ↕ to fuck 🤬 up ⬆ on the unimaginable scale ⚖ you 👉🏻 just did. When 💕💦😩 Jesus 🧑 died 🐕🔫 for our sins 🧼, he 🧒 must 🔒 not have seen 👁 the sacrilegious act 🎭 we just witnessed 👀🙈 you 👉🏻 performing ➕👉, because if he 🧒 did he 👨 would have forsaken humanity 🧒 long 🍆 ago 👶🏽 so that your 👉 birth 👑 may ♦ have never 🚫 become 🔜 reality 💯. After 2️⃣ you 👆 die ☠, your 👉 skeleton 💀 will be displayed 💻 in a museum after 👀 being scientifically 👨‍🔬 researched 🔍 so that all 😳 future 👨🏼 generations 👶👪 may 🌼🌷🌹 learn 👨‍🏫 not to generate 👶👪 your 👉 bone ☠ structure, because every ☝ tiny 👌🏾 detail 📝📓🤝 anyone 👩 may 🌼🌷🌹 have in common ♦ with you 👉🏻 degrades 😭👌 them to a useless 👩🏻 piece 🧩 of trash 💕😘💗 and a burden to society 🗺. No 🚫 wonder ❓🤔 your 👉 father 👨🏻 questioned ❓ whether 💮 or not your 👉 were truly 💯 his 👋 son 🌞, for you'd have to not be a waste 😵 of carbon matter for anyone 👤 to love ❤ you 👆 like 👍 a family 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 member 👱‍♂️. Your 👉 birth 👑 made 🗿 it so that mankind 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 is worse ❌🚫 of in every 🤩 way ↕ you 👆 can possibly 🪓🙅🏻 imagine 🧠, and you 👆 have made 👉 it so that society 🗺 can never ❌ really ✅ recover into a state 🇺🇸 of organization 😡. Everything 😂 has forever 🕐🕔🕤 fallen 💨 into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core ⤴, you 👆 can only find 🔍 misfortune. I 👁 would say 💬 the apocalypse 🕔 is upon 👦 us 🇨🇳 but 🍑 this is merely 👌 the closest 🈴 word 🆔 humans 🕴 have for the sheer scale 🐍 of horror 👿👻🍆 that is now reality 💯. You 👆 have forever ♾ condemned everyone 👍 you 👆 love 😍 and know 🧠 into an eternal 🌋🆎💅🏿 state 🇺🇸 of suffering 😷, worse 🤩😘 than any human 🕴 concept 🧬 of hell 🔥. You 👆 are such an unholy 🚫🙌🏻 being, that if you 👆 step 🦶 within 🤞👏 a one ☝ hundred 💯 foot 👣 radius of a holy 👕 place 🏞🌆🌳 or a place 🏞🌆🌳 that has ever 😳 been deemed important ✨ by anyone 👩, your 👉 distorted 😜 sac religious 🙏 soul 👻 will ruin ❌ whatever ♂ meaning 😏 it ever 😳 had beyond ⏩ repair 🏗. You 👆 are an idiotic 😜, shiteating, dumbass 🙈💖✨ ape 🦧 and no 🚫 one ☝ has ever 😳 loved 💕 you 👉🏻. Rhodes Island 🏖 would have been better 👌 off if you'd never ❌ joined 🤩 us 🚶🏻🚶🏼. You 👆 are a lying 🤫, backstabbing, cowardly 🐮 useless 👩🏻 piece 🧩 of shit 💩 and I 👁 hate 😡 you 👉🏻 with every 👏 single 🕑 part 🍆 of my being. Even 🌃 this worlds 🌎 finest 👌 writers ✍ and poets 😍 from throughout 🤯 the ages 🤠👴🏿 could never ❌ hope 🕊 to accurately ☑ describe 🗣 the scale 🐍 on which you 👆 just fucked 🤿 up ⬆, and how incredibly 😚🤪 idiotic 😜 you 👆 are. Anyone 👤 that believes 🙅🏻 in any religion ⛪🕌🕍 out there should now realize 🤯 that they have been wrong 😡 this entire 👏 time ⏰, for if divine 😇 beings ❓ were real 💯, they would never ❌ have allowed 👮🏻‍♂️ a being such as you 👆 to stain 😷 the earth 🌍 and this universe ✨. In the future 📡 there will be horror 😱😳 stories 📖 made 🐧 about you 👉🏻, with the scariest part 🍆 of them being that the reader 📖 has to realize 🤯 that such an indescribable monster 😈 actually exists 💁, and that the horrific events 🎫 from the movie 🎬 have actually taken place 🏆 in the same world 🌎 that they live 🐙 in right ✔ now. You 👉🏻 are the absolute 💯 embodiment of everything 😂 that has ever 😳 been wrong ❌ on this earth 🌎, yet 🎩👓👍 you 👉🏻 manage 👩🏿‍🍳 to make 🛠 it so that that is only a small 🤏❌ part 🎛 of the evil 😈 that is your 👉 being. Never ❌ in the history 👨‍🏫 of mankind 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 has there been anyone 👩 that could have predicted such an eldrich abomination, but 😳 here you 👆 are. It’s hard 😤 to believe 💭 that I ☝ am seeing 👁 such an incredible 😯‼❗ failure 🥴🤠 with my own eyes 👁, but 🍑 here I ☝ am, so unfortunately 😔 I 👁 cannot ❌ deny ❎ your 👉 existence 💁. Even 🌃 if I 👁 did my very 💯 best 👌, my vocabulary is not able 💪 to describe 🗣 the sheer magnitude 🤯 of the idiotic 😜 mistake 😱 that is you 👆. Even 🌃 if time ⏰ travel ✈⛴🛳 some day 📆 will be invented 💰, there still 👏 would not be a single 🕑 soul 👻 willing 😷 to go 💨 back 🔙 in time ⏰ to before 😂 this moment 😳 to fix 🛠🔩 history 🚫, because having to witness 🕴 such incredible 👀 horrors 😱 if they failed 😔 would have to many 💯 mental 🤯 and physical 👅🔭🔬 drawbacks that not even 🌃 the bravest soul 👼🏼 in history 📚 would be willing 😏 to risk 🙅‍♀️ it. I 👁 cannot 🙅‍♂️ imagine 💭 the pure 🏳 dread 💦 your 👉 mother 👪 must 🤜 have felt when 🤔 she 👩🏽 had to carry ✊🏻 a baby 👶 for nine ⏰ months 📆 and then giving 👉 birth 👑 to such a wretched 😫 monster 😈 as you 👉🏻. Not a single 🕑 word 🆔 of the incoherent, illogical rambling you 👉🏻 may ♦ be wanting 🏃 to do to defend 🛡 yourself or apologize 🙍‍♂️ would ever 😳 be able 💪 to make 🔨 up ☝ for what you 👆 just did. The countries 🇺🇸 of the world 🌎 would have wanted 😍 to make 🛠 laws 🇺🇸 preventing such a terrible 🧠🤏 event 🎫 like 👍 this from ever 😠 happening 😱 again ❌😬, but 🍑 sadly 😞 this is not possible ☠ since 💦 your 👉 horrific actions 🎭 just now have shattered every 👏 form 🎹 of order 📑 this world 🌍🌎🌏 once had, making 🛠 concepts 🤓🥳🤩 such as laws 🇺🇸 irrelevant 📉. Right ✔ from the moment 😳 I 👁 first 💜🔮 set 🌃 my eyes 👁 on you 👉🏻 I 👁 knew 🤔 you 👆 were an absolute 💯 abomination of everything 🤔 that is wrong ❌ with humanity 🕴. I 👁 was hoping 🙏 I 👁 would have been able 👍🏻 to prevent 🙅‍♂️ your 👉 evil 😈 from being released 🎥 upon 👦 this world 🌎 by tagging along ↩ and keeping ✊ my eye 👁 on you 👆, but 😳 it is clear 🤭 to me now that not even 🌃 the greatest ❤ efforts 😥😫😪 would have been able 💪 to prevent 🙅🏻‍♀️❌⛔ a terrible 🧠🤏 event ❗ in this scale 🐍 from occurring. You 👉🏻 are the worst 😡 human 🧒 being, or even 💅 just being in general 🐧, that I ☝ have ever 😳 had the misfortune of witnessing 👀. Events ❗ like 👍 the infected ☣ plague 🐀 apparently 💢 only happened 🌚 with the goal 💕💦😫 of teaching 👩‍🏫 humanity 🧒 to survive 🙏🏼😩😭 such a horrible 🤮 event 🎉 as the one 1️⃣ you 👉🏻 just created 🧚‍♀️, but 🍑 not even 🌃 mankind’s greatest 📈 trials 🇮🇹 were able 💪 to even 🌃 slightly 🙂 prepare 👓📖📚 anyone 👩 for the insufferable evil 👿 you 👆 have just created 💯. If you 👆 ever 😠 had them, your 👉 children 👶 would be preemptively killed 💀 to protect 👒 this universe ✨ from the possibility 🙀🍆 of anyone 👩 in your 👉 bloodline 💉 being even 🌃 half 1️⃣➗2️⃣ as bad 📉 as you 👆 are, except 👋 you 👆 will never ❌ be able 💪 to have children 👶, because not a single 🕑 human 🕴 being will ever 😠 want ⚠ to come ☔ within 🤞👏 a hundred 💯 mile 🛣 radius of you 👆 and anything 😨 you 👆 have ever 😠 touched 🤚. You 👆 are a colossal disappointment not only to your 👉 parents 👫, but 😳 to your 👉 ancestors 👻 and entire 🇺🇸 bloodline 💉. The disgusting 🤢 mistake 😱 that you 👆 have just made 🗿 is so incredibly 👀 terrible 🤮 that everyone 👍 who would ever 😠 be to hear 👂 about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture 🧁 of immense 😱 anger 😤😡, fear 😱 and anxiety 😖 that emotionally 💟 and physically 👅🔭🔬 they would never ❌ truly 💯 be the same ever 😳 again 🔁. The sheer scale ⚖ of your 👉 mistake ✨🧚, if ever 😳 to be materialized, would not only surpass the size ⬇ of the world 🌎, but 🍑❓ it would reach ✋ far 🌌 beyond 🧑🏼 the edges 🍆 of the known 🧠, and almost 🤔😔💭 certainly 🧂 the unknown 🎇 universe 🌎🌍🌏. I 👁 could sit 🏚 here and write ✍ paragraphs 😩😭😓, nay ‼, books 📖 describing 🗣 your 👉 immense 😱 failure 🥴🤠, yet 😏 even 💅 if I 👁 were to dedicate 🏀 my life 👤 to describing 🗣 the reality 💯 of what has just gone 👱🏻💪🏾 down ⬇ here, and I 👁 would spend 😵 every 👏 moment 😳 of it until my heart ❤ stops 🛑 beating 💓 working 🏗 as hard 😤 and efficiently as possible 🔝, yet 🎩👓👍 there is not even 💅 a snowballs chance 🎲 in hell 👺 that I ☝ would be able 💪 to come ☔ close 🤞🏻 to transcribing the absolute ⚱ shitshow you 👆 have just released 🐢➡🌊 upon ↙ the world 🌏💫. You 👆 are an irresponsible, idiotic 🤪, disgusting 🤮, unloved, horrible 😠 excuse 👣 for a living being who’s soul 👻 contains 🗞 less ➖ humanity 🕴 than every 👏 ginger 🍞 in history 🚫 combined. The absolute 💯 disgust 🤮 I 👁 feel when 🤔 thinking 🤔 about anything 🌌 that has even 🌃 a slight 🙁 resemblance 💁‍♂️ to anything 🌌 that might 🤔 have to do with you 👉🏻 and your 👉 unholy 🚫🙌🏻 actions 🎭 is so incredibly 😚🤪 great 😁👍 that when ❓ I 👁 am honest 💯 about it I 👁 think 🤔 that even 🌃 I 👁 do not posses 👨‍👨‍👦‍👦 a consciousness 🧠 great 🤔❓ enough 👅 to comprehend 🤔 my own feelings about it. When ❓ people 👥 of Columbia fought 🤼‍♂️👩‍🚒🤼‍♀️ to break 💔 free 🆓 from Lungmen, countless 🧛‍♀️⛔ soldiers 🙍‍♂️ fought 👈🏿💢🗡 and lost 🏳 their lives 💓 in favor 😏 of a chance 🎲 at a better 👌 future 👨🏼 for their children 👶, they did not give 👉 their lives 👤 to have you 👆 fuck 🖕 the world 🌍🌎🌏 up ☝ beyond ⏩ repair 🙌 to the degree 🎓 that you 👆 are dosin right ✔ now. Honestly 😇, even 💅 when 💕💦😩 technology 🔬 advances 😍😇 and studies 📿⛪ on the subject 🔥💥❄ become 🦋 more and more accurate ☑, I 👁 do not think 🤔 humanity 🧒 will ever 😠 truly 💯 be able 💪 to understand 🤔 what your 👉 failure 💀 actually means 😏 for the universe 😱🌌🙌. My hate 😲😠 for you 👉🏻 and everything 🤔 you 👉🏻 stand 🚹 for is so much 💯 deeper 💦 than the depths ❤ of Shambala that you 👆 could probably 😕 take 👊 the entire 👏 Lungmen population 👥 down 👇 there and back 🔙 up ☝ around 🔁 twenty 💓 million 💯 times ⌛ before ⬅ you 👆 would have sunk 💥 to the end 🔚 of my hate 😲😠, and honestly 😇, I ☝ do not want 😍 to exaggerate, but 🍑 I ☝ think 🤔 that that i ☝

Submitted July 31, 2020 at 04:37PM by iiGalacticBeast via reddit https://ift.tt/2Xg0syN

[seekingseven]

Mephibosheth Ch.2

Chapter 2 of my Undertale fanfic! You can read the story here on AO3 as well :D

┍━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━┑

Chara splashed the water onto his face, sighing as the icy liquid soothed his skin. The goat-kid, Asriel, had healed his shattered ribs, life-threatening concussions, snapped ligaments - but not his eczema. He cupped some of the stream water in his hands and tried to douse the dryness on his face again. The relief lasted only for a few seconds. One day, he mused, the two dry splotches on his cheeks would be rubbed raw and establish themselves as a permanent feature on his face.

Fantastic. As if he didn't already look ghoulish enough. Chara grimaced as the water trickled down his neck and into his sweater, dampening the cloth underneath. He sat on his knees and looked down at the lazy stream in front of him. His pale visage stared back quietly, flinching when Asriel's reflection crept in from the right.

Even though he knew the goat kid was now standing right behind him, hearing his sudden tidal wave of anxious bleats startled the human anyway.

"Golly, Mr. Chara! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! But I saw you drinking from the stream and remembered that I didn't even think to offer you a drink, or snack, or, or anything!" Asriel stuffed his paws into the tuft of hair sitting atop his head and screwed his eyes shut. "Boy, aha. You fell from angel knows where, probably haven't eaten or rested in ages, and I end up giving you a tour of the Ruins instead of watching out for you." The goat buried his face in his hands. "I suck at my job."

Chara leaned back on his hands and gave Asriel a half-lidded stare. An earlier bladder-related debacle had spared the goat-child from having to ask the awkward pronoun question (with the side-effect of embarrassing Asriel enough for the both of them). Frankly, the social faux-pas had hardly perturbed Chara - privacy was a luxury who's denial he was familiar with. For some reason, though, the prince's forced formalities and habitual self-shaming had settled on the wrong side of Chara's stomach.

"What do you mean, you suck at your job?" the human muttered.

The Ruins hummed with distant piano music; the room's twin streams gurgled happily. Chara cocked his head to the side, waiting for an answer.

"Well, I should be keeping you safe! I mean, I'm Asriel Dreemurr," he said with an exaggerated rumble and half-hearted paw flip, "I'm supposed to keep monsters safe! A-and humans! Anyone in the Underground that I can keep safe, I should. B-but, I mean, l-l-look at you! I tried to heal you, but your cheeks are all raw, and your hands are bleeding, and you're probably so hungry and thirsty that you'll dust before we get to the end of the ruins!" Asriel had been pacing over one of the little wooden bridges in the room and nearly slipped into the stream beneath trying to punctuate the last word with a stomp.

Something in Chara's heart burned. He pushed the feeling aside and got to his feet, intending to express in explicit detail how misplaced Asriel's concerns were.

Chara's weakened body had other plans, it seemed. A sudden feeling of lightheadedness exploded in his temples; he must have stood up too quickly. His legs swayed drunkenly.

"A-aw, jeez! Aw, man!" The goat boy bleated.

Asriel sprinted to his side, threw an arm over Chara's shoulder, and waited anxiously for the human to regain sovereignty over his own body.

"Gosh! That was scary! We really need to get some food in your stomach and sleep in your bones!"

"I'm alright, Asriel."

The goat child started to say something, searching his companion's face for emotional purchase, but the only sound that came out was a sigh. He gave Chara a timid, disbelieving smile.

Froggits croaked, leaves rustled, streams murmured. A Whimsun cried in the distance. Switches clicked and pressure plates hummed as Asriel led the way through the Ruins' puzzles. If the human was taking any interest in his surroundings, he wasn't showing it.

They walked on in silence.

Chara stifled the urge to shrug off the arm Asriel still had over his shoulder. Something deep within him recoiled at physical contact. He stared at the purple stone underneath him in hopes that it would give his mind something else to brood over.

It was too quiet.

Asriel was too quiet.

Why wasn't he saying anything?

His bangs slipped out from behind his ears and dangled in front of his eyes. The human didn't care enough to brush them away.

"Hmm. Mr. Chara?"

Dark, attentive eyes jerked upwards. Chara tucked his chin towards his neck and flicked his eyebrows into his forehead.

He was listening.

"You're new to the Underground, aren'tcha?"

A nod. Asriel tried not to cringe at his stupid question...what else would the answer have been?

"Aha. G-golly, you must be so confused."

Asriel didn't expect his reticent companion to giggle. He smiled involuntarily when Chara looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow.

"That's a bit of an understatement, Azzy."

Maybe it was the sudden use of a nickname or the unexpectedly positive response to his rambling, but Asriel instantaneously felt lighter on his feet. A stupid grin plastered itself on Asriel’s face. The Prince placed a paw on his chest and deepened his voice with grandiose confidence, insisting that someone ought to teach the poor human how things worked around here, and it looked like little ol' Azzy would have to do. Chara giggled louder. Asriel smiled wider.

»»-««

By the time the two stood outside the Ruin's doors, Chara's mind was swimming with stories of SOULS, monsters, humans, interspecies war, magical barriers, millennia-long imprisonments, and a royal family composed entirely of anthropomorphic goats. It all sounded like something out of some crazy video game.

His eyes flickered over his companion, who was scrutinizing the snowy wasteland with an unreadable expression.

Chara's mirth dissolved.

Why would Asriel, Prince Asriel, give a random human so much care and attention?

He must want something. That's it. But what was it? His SOUL? How would that benefit him? Asriel didn't look particularly strong, at least in terms of combat, but his healing powers were exceptional. Didn't look like he needed the power. Then again, Chara didn't really have any reference to compare him with. Dark, calculating eyes stared blankly at the snowy forest ahead. He pulled his arms around the dip in his chest where he suspected his SOUL was.

"Boy, do you look cold! Here, Mr. Chara. Take my sweater, you'll need it more than me."

The humans' eyes flitted from a particularly suspicious-looking array of trees to Asriel's shirtless form. His train of thought was instantly derailed. What on earth was this goat doing? Taking off his sweater? In this weather? Did the biting wind and flurry of white slush around them not mean anything to him? Why didn't this guy at least have a shirt underneath? This was a sort of death wish, to be sure.

Chara recoiled and flicked his hand in refusal.

Asriel remained undaunted, holding out the striped green and yellow sweater with a determined air of insistence.

"Lookie here, Mr. Chara. I've got a literal coat of fur. I'm not cold at all!" A particularly bitter breeze weaved its way between the pair, and Asriel's muscles contracted sharply. Chara raised a singular eyebrow in silent protest. "Okay, alright. I'm a little cold, but I'll live. I mean, you're probably frozen half to death right now!"

Oh. That was actually true. Chara didn't notice how absolutely freezing he was until the fact was pointed out, and now it was unbearable. Taking the proffered sweater with an air of defeat, Chara tried desperately to remember what he was just thinking about. Something about Asriel…? He popped his head out the sweater's top and slid his hands carefully through the sleeves, absent-mindedly shuffling the two layers of cloth as he wracked his brain. Asriel looked on, a ditzy smile softening his fluffy features.

"Boy, you look comfy!"

Chara nodded in agreement. His skin was already starting to warm up.

"Well, come on, Mr. Chara! It's only a 20-minute walk or so to Snowdin Town, and from there, we can take the ferry home! The Riverkid's real nice, I think you'll like him. Anyway, though, Mom is probably whipping up some seriously mad soup as we speak, so you'll have something nice and warm in your stomach before you know it!"

Whatever Chara had been thinking about earlier, it couldn't have been as important as the prospect of 'seriously mad soup.' The human nodded to the goat, letting his hand dangle at his side in a silent invitation.

Asriel closed his paw around Chara's hand.

The pair shuffled onwards. A gust of wind whistled through the trees, an air of foreboding dripping from the ceiling. The starved, twisted corpses of trees long dead stared disapprovingly as the pair made their way to the town. It didn't take the human long to decide that he really, really didn't like this place.

"Ugh, I hate how the snow makes my fur so wet! " Asriel bleated. The human cast an anxious glance at his companion, noting the flattened, grey streaks of wet fur that crisscrossed his torso and face. Chara fingered the collar of the sweater uncomfortably. The goat boy shook his head. "You're keeping that. I'm not upset about my face or anything, and I'm seriously not that cold. It's my feet. The snow's got it all wet. I feel like I'm walking on, like, ugh," Asriel scrambled for the right words before slumping in defeat, "It feels like walking on something gross, I guess! Gosh. I suck with words!"

Chara giggled. He stopped walking, letting Asriel take a few steps ahead, and scooped an armful of snow into his arms. A fistful of the white fluff was crunched into something resembling a ball.

"Heads up seven up!" Chara shouted.

"Heads up seven wha-" Asriel shrieked as a crude snowball landed squarely between his shoulder blades. The prince squealed and twisted his hands behind his back, trying to brush off the snow before it could slip further. He turned around to come face to face with a smiling, no, beaming Chara.

Any anger he felt evaporated in an instant. Before he could put together a war cry or coherent battle plan, Asriel's paws were stuffed with snow.

"Try me, human!" the goat exclaimed, sending two irregularly shaped snowballs flying towards a fleeing Chara. A loud snort in the distance indicated that at least one of the snowhunks had found its target, and the prince grinned to himself. His victory didn't last long. A flurry of snowballs hit the goat child in the chest and stomach, one misfire whizzing above his head.

"Pride goes before the fall, Azzy!" A giggling voice asserted.

"CHARA! Get back here!" Formalities and hunger and cold forgotten, Asriel's entire mind was focused on the fight. He hastily constructed a snow fort (an expertly crafted structure consisting of a goat-made snowdrift and a shallow snowball pit) and dove inside. He peered above his safe haven for the elusive offender, absentmindedly crunching snow in his palms as he waited. A flash of yellow and green and brown flickered to his right, and Asriel launched half-a-dozen snowballs in that general direction. A grandiose squeal for mercy responded to his attack. The goat grinned, drew himself to his full height, and placed his hands on his hips. He tried not to flinch as the wind flopped his ears in his face. Chara resurfaced about thirty feet in front of Asriel's fort, hair, sweater, and skin darkened from the snow. Bangs fell over his face, sweeping over the flat bridge of his nose, and his face flushed red from laughter.

Something in Asriel's heart burned.

"Poor mortal! Clearly, you have no chance against me. For this reason, I, Prince Asriel Dreemurr, elect to grant you MERCY!" The Prince extended his hands out to the side in a caricature of a hug, tilting his chin backward to complete the flamboyant image. Chara shambled forward, muscles still quivering from his laughing fit, arms pressed to his chest.

"Oh, Azzy!" the human taunted, "doncha know that in this world, it's kill or be killed?"

Before Asriel could realize his mistake, a snowball splattered against his exposed stomach. He fell backward with a dramatic cry, pressing the back of his paw to his forehead.

"How could I have been so easily defeated?" he lamented when his body hit the white fluff underneath.

Chara exploded in laughter, clutching his sides as he ran to the fallen prince. The human crouched down next to Asriel - who was splayed out ridiculously in the remains of his ruined fort - and brushed the excess snow from his face.

"I got you pretty good, didn't I?" Chara boasted as he helped Asriel to his feet. The goat rolled his eyes and gave the traitor a casual grin.

"That was a real dirty trick you pulled there, Chara. I don't think I'll be able to forgive you." Asriel said, hands on hips, "if something like this happens again, I might be forced to banish you to the island of perpetual tickling!"

"Well, Your Majesty, I'll have you know tha-" a low rumble interrupted Chara's plea for mercy.

"Dude, what was that?"

"I think it was my stomach," Chara muttered, sending his midsection as pointed a glare one could give an internal organ. Asriel ran a paw down his face, smoothing out cowlicks and rouge clumps of wet fur. He looked incredibly guilty for someone who hadn't done anything wrong.

"Aw, man. Chara, I'm so sorry. Getting you all tangled up in a snowball fight when you don't have anything to run off of - I shouldn't have done that."

"Asriel, it's alright. I'm not really that hungry." Chara insisted.

Right on cue, his stomach let out another temperamental wail. The goat boy gave Chara a frustrated snort. The latter shrugged.

"T-there's a restaurant in Snowdin Town," Asriel began. "It's a pretty nice place. We can pick up cheese fries or onion rings o-or maybe milkshakes? If you want milkshakes, we'll get milkshakes, you know. It's, you know - whatever you want, Chara." The goat's chin was tucked against his neck, a familiar hangdog look already darkening his features. Why on earth did Asriel feel guilty because he was hungry? Chara wondered. Maybe he was hungry too? So many things about this kid didn't make sense. "It’ll just be something small to tide us over during the ferry ride," Asriel continued, "the ferry ride - it's about an hour, maybe? Yeah, you gotta eat something before then. But anyway it's pretty late, we might need to hustle if we want to get to Grillby's before closing time."

Chara tilted his head to the side. His bangs slipped across his forehead.

"Let's get going then, shall we?"

The human's hand dangled by his side, wet and puffy from the snow. As if it was some sort of age-old habit or natural instinct, Asriel slipped his paw into Chara's hand.

Something in their SOULs burned.

┕━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━┙

[leagueoflegendsarchive]

Nunu

Biography: Once upon a time, there was a boy who wanted to prove he was a hero by slaying a fearsome monster—only to discover that the beast, a lonely and magical yeti, merely needed a friend. Bound together by ancient power and a shared love of snowballs, Nunu and Willump now ramble wildly across the Freljord, breathing life into imagined adventures. They hope that somewhere out there, they will find Nunu’s mother. If they can save her, maybe they will be heroes after all… Powers/Abilities: 1. Call of the Freljord 2. Consume 3. Biggest Snowball Ever! 4. Snowball Barrage 5. Absolute Zero

[anabundanceoftrash]

(nearly) 400 Prompts

Angst

“Not you again.. ”

“Leave me alone. ”

“I don’t love you anymore. ”

“Why do you hate me? ”

“I thought you loved me. ”

“I don’t need you anymore. ”

“I can’t believe you! ”

“We cant keep this up forever. ”

“You’re a monster. ”

“I hate you. ”

“Don’t leave me… ”

“You’re a disappointment. ”

“Don’t die on me– Please. ”

“I never meant to hurt you. ”

“Are you upset with me? ”

“I wish I’d never met you. ”

“I’m going to kill you! ”

“Please don’t hurt me like this. ”

“Thanks for nothing. ”

“Give me a chance ”

“Don't call this number again. “

“Why did you spare me? ”

“You need to leave. ”

“I’m sick. ”

“I’m dying. ”

“I wish I’d never met you. ”

“I thought we were family!”

“There was never an us. ”

“So that’s it? Is it over? ”

“I fucked up. ”

“I came to say goodbye. ”

“He’s dead because of you. ”

“I don’t deserve to be loved. ”

“About the baby… It's yours. ”

Love:

“I’m so in love with you. ”

“Dance with me! ”

“Isn’t this amazing? ”

“I wish we could stay like this forever. ”

“Will you marry me? ”

“I need a hug. ”

“You’re special to me. ”

“I’m going to keep you safe. ”

“Do you trust me? ”

“Can I kiss you right now? ”

“You’re cute when you’re angry. ”

“I’ve liked you for a while now. ”

“We’d make such a cute couple. ”

“I want to take care of you. ”

“Can we cuddle? ”

“It’s lonely here without you. ”

“I can’t stand the thought of losing you. ”

“Shut up and kiss me already. ”

“Are you flirting with me? ”

“Is that my shirt? ”

“How did we get here? ”

“You own my heart. ”

“I want to protect you. ”

“Whats the matter? ”

“You’re so beautiful. ”

“Stop being so cute. ”

“You’re teasing me again… ”

“This is why I fell in love with you. ”

“You’re the best! ”

“They’re going to love you, don’t worry! ”

“Oh, Are you ticklish? ”

“Of course I remembered! ”

“Are you jealous? ”

“Hold me and never let me go. ”

“Stop hogging all the blankets! ”

“Let's run away together. ”

General:

“I’m fine. ”

“Are you drunk? ”

“Are you high? ”

“We cant go in there… ”

“Give it back! ”

“Well, this is just great. ”

“Don’t touch me. ”

“Not sure if you could tell, but I’m not exactly a people person. ”

“This was fun— Let's do it again sometime!”

“I didn’t do it! ”

“I did it… ”

“I don’t remember that! ”

“Well, that’s pretty rude of you to say. ”

“Get that thing away from me! ”

“You owe me. ”

“Do you believe in aliens? ”

“Do you believe in ghosts? ”

“Are you hitting on me? ”

“Why are you naked? ”

“You did what?! ”

“You have… Superpowers? ”

“Why are you bleeding? ”

“Where did all these puppies come from?”

“Don’t make me come over there myself! ”

“That wasn’t funny. ”

“This tastes horrible. ”

“This is delicious! ”

“Are you mad at me? ”

“Stop ignoring me… ”

“I love that show too! ”

“Can I borrow that book of yours?”

“Let's blow this joint. ”

“Let me help you with that. ”

“Take that back! ”

“Wanna go see a movie with me? ”

“No way, that’s so lame. ”

“What are you listening to? ”

“ I brought you your coffee. ”

“Don’t fuck this up. ”

“Run! ”

“Let's run away together. ”

“I haven’t slept in four days… ”

“Your turn to do the dishes. ”

“Was I really that drunk? ”

“Was I really that stoned? ”

“Give me back my phone! ”

“You’re an asshole. ”

“Are you cold? ”

“This place gives me the creeps. ”

“I swear my house is haunted. ”

“Did you hear that? ”

“It’s just your imagination. ”

“Just how stupid do you think I am? ”

“Stop being such a baby. ”

“Go back to bed. ”

“Are you okay? ”

“I can take care of myself just fine.”

“Thanks for helping me back there. ”

“Since when have we ever been friends? ”

“What on earth are you wearing? ”

“I can’t feel my legs! ”

“Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. ”

“Put me down! ”

“There’s only one bed… ”

“It isn’t what it looks like! Okay.. Maybe it is… ”

“How did I lose it? ”

“I read your diary. ”

“This is awkward. ”

“Didn’t you read the sign? ”

“Do you think you can teach me that? ”

Below is NSFW prompts. Sexual:

“Bite me.”

“Make me.”

“Fuck me.”

“Stop teasing me so much… ”

“Do you like it when I touch you like that?”

“Okay... This is new. ”

“Want to head back to my place and have a little fun? ”

“You’re in trouble now. ”

“What a pretty sight. ”

“Bend over. ”

“On your knees. ”

“The food looks great but... There’s something much more delicious I’d like to eat right now.

“Lay back. ”

“Take off your clothes. ”

“Well, fine; just this once. ”

“I’m waiting. ”

“You’re so beautiful. ”

“As you wish. ”

“First one to make a noise loses.”

“You have no idea what you do to me. ”

“If you’re bored; Wanna have sex? ”

“I've wanted this for so long. ”

“Car sex looks so much easier in the movies. ”

“Can I touch you? ”

“No strings attached. ”

“Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? ”

“Mine. ”

“The nights still young. ”

“We cant do that here! ”

“Behave. ”

“What did you just say?

“Come here. ”

Random ones I had in a draft (i dont know where they are from)

“Stop moaning you big baby”

“Stop winking”

“Why did you have to be a smart person?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me”

“Why the hell are you drinking. At this hour?”

“Take. A. God. Damn. Break.”

“Shit, I'm sorry”

“How did you manage to be this stupid?”

“Your hair is so soft”

“Sorry. I just got lost in your eye’s”

“What are you writing about?”

“I love you”

“Is that my t-shirt?”

“Please don’t leave me”

“Please say something…”

“That's a stupid rule”

“How are you so pretty?”

“What the fuck?”

“You wanna go!?”

“Even the best fall down sometimes”

“You and i. We’ll be alright”

“What are you even saying?”

“Do that again”

“Please don’t”

“Hold me back!?”

“Oh its on”

“How are you so tall?”

“Not in that drawer!!”

“Don't touch that”

“I'm always going to be here”

“Help me up asshole”

“I'll show you where my shoe fits!

“Don't tell me to shut up”

“Don't dare touch me.”

“Could you kindly get the fuck away from me for a moment!?”

“Don't you know how to clean?”

“Why so flirty all of a sudden?”

“Is that the best you can do?”

“Don't you dare throw that snowball-OKAY THATS IT!”

“I'm a little drunk on you”

“I touched the butt…”

“It's too cold! Come back”

“No. I'm not letting you go. It's too early to get up”

“C'mere, you can sit in my lap till I'm done working”

“I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention”

“Just pretend to be my date”

“I think I'm in love with you. And I'm absolutely terrified”

“Your lips are so soft. I could kiss them all day”

“It's not bad to cry. In fact, i think it makes a person stronger”

“I remember practising asking you out in the mirrior..”

“Let’s just stay in bed”

“We live together, you can’t blame anyone else for this.”

“I want to marry you”

“I want to take a shower so you should probably join me. It’ll save water”

“You lost your chance.”

“Don't look at me like that”

“Pack your shit and go. Get out of my sight.”

“I don't want to live in a broken home.”

“I cant do this anymore. Not with you.”

“I tried to move on but nobody is you.”

“Please take me back.”

“Maybe I'm meant to be alone.”

“I fell like everyone has forgotten me. Like I don't exist.”

“I've been alone for so long…”

“I can’t belive you’d do this to me.”

“What about me!? Did you ever think of that?!”

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

“I'm going to skip the "how?” And “why?” And go straight to your cleaning this up.“

“Sorry I'm rambling” “it’s okay. I like hearing you talk”

“You were supposed to be my forever”

“Pfft. the stars have nothing on your eye’s”

“I'm mad at you because I love you.”

“The heater broke and I'm freezing, can I sleep with you?”

“hear cuddling helps you sleep better, wanna try it out?”

“Are you eating a jar of Nutella in one sitting?” “I have problems. Leave me be”

“If you insist”

“Thank you kind sir” “your welcome m'lady”

“Seriously?”

“I hate you.”

“Stop being cheesy.”

“I’ll slap you.”

“You know what! I love you. I fucking love you okay!?”

“Could you help me”

“Fuck off.”

“You lied.”

“You think that I'm going to forgive you after all you put me through?”

“You broke what?!”

“It's not nearly as bad as it looks, Darling”

“Frankly I couldn’t care less.”

“I don’t know where she gets it from”

“Bring that pretty little butt over here”

“We have to pretend to be married”

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“At what point did you think this was a good idea?!”

“You had me at ‘free pizza”

“Why are you always pushing me away?”

“How did you even get that up there?!”

“You’re evil”

“The sign said not to push the button, so naturally I had to push it”

“That came out wrong”

“I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”

“I just came to dance”

“You know my name?!”

“Oh, you beautiful weirdo”

“How bout dat!”

“I've never felt this way about anyone before…and it scares the crap out of me”

“None of this makes sense”

“You have a wicked sense of humour”

“I won’t let you fall.”

“Do you remember me? We were only 15”

“Your voice is like a melody, I could listen to you all day”

“I'm your’s”

“I'm only human!”

“Must be love on the brain”

“What do you want from me?!”

“Don’t mind if I do”

“Shut up and kiss me”

“Dork”

“Asshole”

“Ah, but I am cute”

“You will forever remember this as the day you nearly caught captain jack sparrow.”

“You did all this for me?!”

“What ate you afraid of?”

“What the hell was that?”

“Well the powers out”

“What now”

“Well. This sucks.”

“Awkward”

“May I have this dance?”

“Hand’s and eye’s off mate.”

“She’s mine.”

“Don’t freak out….but I think we got married last night.”

“Somebody is in love”

“You what?!”

“Did I stutter?!!”

“Fuck you.” “Please do.”

“I can’t wait to grow old with you”

“Why are you covered in mud?”

“You take one more step towards me and I will knock you off your ass.”

“Let him go. It’s me you want”

“Don't deny it.”

“Okay. This is seriously creeping me out”

“We have to find a way to make this work.”

“Is that…my picture on your wallet/ home screen?”

“If he asked. I’d be his”

“Come over here and make me.”

“Wanna bet?!”

“Pfft. Hold my beer.”

“Is there a reason why you’re naked in my bed?”

“Kiss me.”

“Marry me?”

“I wish I could hate you.”

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

“Please…dont do this…”

“I love you….”

“Is it really you?!”

“I’ve missed you”

“Boo.”

“Have you seen the- oh…”

“Shit.”

“Who crawls through someone’s window at 4 am to go and get ice-cream?!”

“Our first date is a picnic on a beach under the stars? Have you swallowed a romance novel? Do I need to call a doctor?”

“The only thing I want is you.”

“Are you ticklish?”

“PILLOW FIGHT!!!”

“Fight me”

“I will knock you on your ass if you even think about it.”

“I need you to pretend we’re dating…”

“I'm not leaving you.”

“Please…let me go.”

“You weren’t even going to say goodbye. Were you?”

“I'm hopelessly in love with you.”

“I bet I can make you scream my name”

“Pervert!”

“Childish. That's all you are.”

“I love you a lot. But stop trying to cook me dinner. You suck”

“If you shove cake in my face. This will be the worst wedding night of your life.”

“I bet its a girl/boy”

“IF YOU USE ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM BANISHING YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH”

“Our kid is totally the one who wanted to build a pillow fort. Not me”

“Your dad is really excited to see you soon…it's driving me crazy”

“Are you drunk?”

“I'm flirting with you”

“I had to see you again”

“I can't wait to meet you”

“literally everything about this is illegal.”

“you just want attention, you don’t want my heart.”

“you just want to make sure I’m never getting over you.”

“I can’t quit you.”

“I know I just spit blood all over you, and this is a really bad time but I have to tell you something.”

“there’s something you should know, in case I don’t come back.”

“I thought you forgot about me.” “never.”

“was that supposed to hurt me?”

“Maybe I should stop and start confessing.”

“it’s okay, I didn’t expect you to love me.”

“I trusted you!” “that was your first mistake, you're second, falling in love with me.”

“I have a plan.” “Is it a good one?” “I have a plan okay!"

“well, unfortunately, the best of the best was unavailable so we got the best of the mediocre.”

“you just hate the thought of me with someone new.”

“you shouldn’t be so trusting darling, the world is a dangerous place.” “you don’t scare me.” “I should.”

“oh god, you’re in love with him.”

“I don’t want to die.” “I won’t let you, if you die, I do too.”

“how long have you been standing there?” “longer than you’d imagine.”

“I am the one that listens when the line is dead.”

“that has got to be the lamest pick-up line in existence.” “Oh, honey that was just plan A.” “okay then what’s plan B?” “take you, hostage, duh.”

“they’re afraid of me. I don’t blame them, I’m afraid of me too.” “I’m not.”

“well, this is a nice change of scenery.” “we’re in a jail cell?” “oh for the love of god I was being sarcastic!”

“I wanted you to fight for me and you didn’t, you just let me walk away.”

“A small fire, my exact words were set a small fire, this is not small!”

“you know I can kill you right?” “I’m already dead.”

“what do you mean work with him? He tried to kill me. Twice actually.”

“If I knew that would be the last time I held you, I would’ve held on tighter.”

“I always knew it was you.”

“she doesn’t love me, she’s not that stupid.”

“I’ll be the first to tell you, I’m a terrible liar.”

“am I going to regret this?” “probably.”

“I’ve lost count of the promises you’ve broken, so please don’t make anymore.”

“I’d take a bullet for you, I told you that before.” “except you’ll heal, and if you tell me one more time, I’m going to be the one pulling the trigger.”

“wow can we pretend for one second that you’re not a complete douchebag?”

“you’ve got to believe me.” “sorry I tend to not believe compulsive liars.”

“shut up.” “but I didn’t say anything.” “I don’t care shut up.”

“uh, you have blood on your shirt.” “I suppose I do.” “You don’t just go nowhere and get blood on your shirt.”

“just take a deep breath or something.” “take a deep breath? It feels like my insides are being ripped out, and you want me to take a deep breath?”

“I’ll be there for you, but you gotta be there for me too.“

"So I uh notice you’re kind of naked, is that intentional or..”