#so I have to go and clean it myself and redo a bunch of stuff

[wildstar25]

😊

[mars-ipan]

I’ve got the opposite problem with skin tone. I always pick skin tone first and go all in on the first color i like (color in eyes, mouth, palms if they’re dark-skinned, all on the same layer as the skin) and then when I add in the rest and realize the skin tone’s off I have to redo it.

this is so reallll and also why i have 2 very important color rules

rule 1- roughly place all of your main colors into your piece before you start rendering. if there’s gonna be a background, don’t forget about that!! pick your background color(s) first, then slap some colors on your subjects in roughly where they’re gonna be. you can treat this as a “sketch” for your colors but i personally just go in and clean it up and then that’s my flats lol. this leads to more coherent color schemes imo and prevents having to go back and redo a bunch of rendering

rule 2- pick your most important/finicky colors last. i do this because local color can be either your best friend or your worst enemy and if you pick your important colors before all ur supplementaries i’ve found that the local color can COMPLETELY change and fuck up the vibe ur going for. for me the color i pick last is usually a Bright Emphasis Color OR darker skin tones bc i’m incredibly paranoid abt fucking up brown skin even though I Am Experienced In Drawing It

everyone does art different and stuffs etc etc but i try to keep these in mind for myself esp when i’m trying out smth different with my colors and it… generally works out for me i think? so yayyyy

[pbandjesse]

Today was long and I am very tired. But I am home and I will hopefully sleep great and tomorrow can be a reset. A redo. And the first day of camp won't leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Last night ended up being kind of a nightmare clean up wise. The 10 or so guys that has set up didn't come back to break down. I was moving carts and stacking chairs until midnight. And they were barely half way done. But Jesse has decided that my hard stop was midnight since I'm not paid by the hour yet.

So I said goodbye and left for the evening. I got home at 1230 and was really happy to see my husband. Who, while half asleep, welcomed me home and we chatted for a bit. I took a shower and got myself ready for sleep.

And while I didnt sleep enough I got good sleep still. And woke up only sort of unhappy at 650.

When I got up I was already dealing with some anxiety that would only get worse. James would try to encourage me. They had moved a bunch of my stuff in and out of the car. The market stuff in the house. The camp stuff in the car. And tired to cheer me up. But I just wanted to go and deal with anything that came up.

I had a good drive in, once I got my phone to stop disconnecting. And I would get to camp at 750.

I went and cleaned up arts and crafts and set up for the day and it went smoothly. I went to the office to print an updated schedule for Callie. And after I chatted with Alexi and got that printed I went and got a little breakfast. Embarrassed myself with the cooks. But they were kind and also said that even if I might not be at different meals they will always make me a special plate. I was worried about wasting food but they assured me that that didn't matter.

I realized I could take a little hammock swing and try to calm down my very strong emotions. And it was working until I texted Avery to make sure she felt like she was prepared to run EAC. But she hits me with that 'i did not know I was running that' and I freak. What do you mean? So I check in with Willa who is covering Homestead. And she at least knew she was covering but there was a lot of confusion beyond that. Very frustrating.

So I ran to the office. Where I was very very very upset. Like this was just like a final straw. And as soon as I got in the office and was asked a different question, a mistake in the schedule question, I lost it. I was hysterical crying. And just went to my desk to do the schedule change while everyone felt weird. Elizabeth shushed people from trying to asking me anything and I was like no I am okay. I am just very very stressed. And I threatened to go home I was so upset. But I calmed down. The cry made me feel like some of the weight lessoned.

I was able to give the two schedules to Elizabeth. And get my question answered. And I would just do with what I had, best I could. And went back to arts to calm myself all the way before my group came in.

And honestly the kids saved the day. Literally all the kids were so sweet and it was just so nice to have returning faces on taller bodies. It made my program back to where it's supposed to be. Where arts and crafts is a dream. It's just everywhere else that's hard as hell.

I would show them the program and we talked about collage and I felt really good about it. And their little houses. Oh they were just so sweet. Lots of creativity and understanding about collage and how to use different techniques. from my very littlest day campers to my woodland boys. It was awesome.

Lunch would come pretty fast. After chatting with Tony about the harbor swim and how I can fit into his pants he has given me to use as a scrap fabric last year. But laughs about that. I would go to lunch.

And it was a very good lunch. Of a baked potato and broccoli. I would check with Callie about specialty staff getting food before the children. Because we have to run to our programs ECT ECT. And her and Hannah said we can serve ourselves if we get gloves. Stellar. So we got our food and went outside to eat together as a little group. Talked about all the confusion and nonsense. How weird and sometimes discombobulated camp has been this year. I just hope that by next week we have a much better handle on everything.

I would depart from the group. Stopping to say hi to Callie. And then you to arts. To spend a few minutes alone. Texting Jess, my very best friend, to wish he many happy birthdays. Especially after the crazy week she just had being in and out of the ER. She deserves a quiet and nice birthday.

My afternoon groups were so sweet. Struggled a bit more to clean up but that's because they didn't want to go. I don't blame them my space is great. But I was also getting a little nervous about leaving for my appointment.

I would let Mirren know and she would let Eva know. But still I was nervous. I got out bracelet string and some other crafts that I thought they would enjoy. And once they got to me I very quickly told them what was available and told them I was sad I couldn't stay and hang out. But I knew I could trust Yukon and said goodbye and headed out.

I would hit some traffic but I still got to my appointment with time to spare. The new girl at the desk remember my name and I would have a fun chat with her later. And my injection went really well. Just bled a little more then normal but it's fine. The medical assistant is really nice and I like talking to her. Though I was left in the room for a half hour with no word. Thought they forgot about me.

But she would eventually come back and the shots went smoothly and I was on my way home.

Which was a half hour because I got stuck in traffic on mulberry. What else is new, that street is always backed up in a stupid way. But I still still home by 5.

I would have to park on the main street because there was no spot. Annoying. But I parked and brought stuff inside. But my ankle a little. Was just really happy to go inside. See James. Take a shower. And go out.

We were going to Charlotte's apartment to check on her cat. But first. Shower. And it made me feel so much better. I would get changed and we would head to the Fulwilers.

Only Tucker was there when we got there. It was nice to see him. They finally donated my bags of clothes. Good. It's good they are gone finally.

We would leave there and go to the apartment. Made sure little boy, her very sweet cat, was fed and happy. Played with him for a bit. And hung out on her couch while we decided on dinner.

I wasn't thrilled with our options. But we land on grano in Hamden.

James loves this place. But we sat outside at first and I took it as long as I could but it was to hot. So we got moved inside. And while the barrata was incredible my pasta was wrong. And I had to send it back twice which I have never done before. I ordered the cheese ravioli. But what came out tasted wrong to me. I ate one and was like maybe it's a weird flavor cheese. But then it hit me. This isn't cheese. It's fish?? Specifically salmon. Our first waitress was not understanding what was wrong. She still took it back and eventually brought me something new. She claimed it was cheese ravioli. No! It was still the fish one?? So we flagged a different waitress. And she was horrified and recognized it right away as their special for the evening.

She would personally go back and cut one open and the bins seemed to have been switched? It was wild. And I'm not like crazy upset I accidently ate a bit of fish. But the texture and bits left jn mouth did upset me for a bit.

Thankfully once the actual cheese ravioli came out it was so wildly good it made up for it. I got a fizzy lemon Italian soda. It was great.

We decided to go to Rita's. But the first one didn't have the flavors I wanted and I got sad. James would offer to take us to a different one. So we would get back in the car and went to Canton crossing. Where we had much better luck.

We stopped in the target bathrooms first. And then walked to Rita's. James got a twist cone and I got a cherry gelato. And we ate at the picnic benches. Just being happy together.

We would come home after that. And I was really glad for it. I felt so tired.

We would gather my print making stuff for my workshop this weekend. And eventually went and took a bath. This was mostly for my pains and agonies. And also because it just felt nice.

But now I am so sleepy. James just went to get me ice water and I'm going to lotion my face and hopefully fall asleep quick.

I am hoping tomorrow is better. More normal. It would make me really happy if this is just are calmer.

I hope you all have a calm day. Stay cool. I love you all. Goodnight!

[blusilurus]

If you're a music creature btw and use Spotify just a heads up I tend to make/curate misc playlists for myself and my OC's over there if it's any interest? These are the current ones pretty much as of Feb. 2024 (since I may add/edit/remove in the future)! Some playlists I need to go through and redo/clean up, some have super old playlist covers that I may/may not change to and yea all that! LMAO 💿 SPOTIFY + Quick descriptions of playlists below the cut!

(NOTE: All these playlists except for the BTT's are constantly having tracks added, removed, sorted and all of that!) BLU is my personal playlist! I tend to put my main favorites or loops over the years there! Basically the tracks that don't age for me LOL MOON is like the Blu playlist but my super mellow/chill vibes one? Good for when you want chiller music or even sleepy music tbh I have slept to this playlist numerous times. SUN is supposed to be it's opposite! More energetic music and all that but I need to clean it up at some poin. Golden Days is for you if you want to violently relive the 2000's-2010's!! Obviously everyone's experience of then varies but this playlist encapsulates a lot of the big music hits from then and basically my core youth in a playlist HEADS UP I have not cleaned it up yet so there's definitely a bunch of duplicate songs still as of this moment! DS: Blue, Purple and Pink these are character story playlists and encapsulate story moments, themes or overall vibes of clusters of characters! DS:Blue is more a sadder vibe and growing up to fast. DS: Purple is more love and loss and piano mixed in there. DS: Pink I want to say has a sorta nostalgic sound, varies from soft/intense and has violin tossed in? Daichi, Akumu and Norah are individual character playlists of songs reflective of them (story, vibes or they'd listen to)! These are the beefier of the individual character playlists. Daichi's is a sensual and party vibe. Akumu's is more mellow and soothing. Norah's is both soft/mellow and loud/beat heavy songs. Chris, Eliza, Izzy and Shea are individual character playlists again! However these are a bit smaller and sometimes I debate if I want to keep/remove these (just bc I like to keep things relatively neat/condensed and these are more so side characters in the grand scheme of things)! Chris's has bad/ended relationship vibes. Eliza's has a mix of college chaos, independent "don't need no man" and ended love energy. Izzy's has a pop, playful/flirty and mellow vibe. Shea's has a soft and sensual vibe. BTT20'/21' (Blu Tune Tobers) 31 Track playlists of my previous personal October art challenge where I drew a piece of art per shuffled song I got that month for each day in October! (OTHERS) ABYSS this one is a oddball atm idk what I'm doing with it! It's supposed to be like just instrumental/mostly non lyrical tracks but that's a huge range for my tastes personally. Like this thing has game music, soft instrumental but then also wild instrumental!? Can't decide if I just need to clean it up or be rid of it LOL. LOFI//VIBES is exactly what it sounds like. MEOWFIA:TOH AU is my friends and I's Owl House AU playlist of misc stuff! BLOOK personal playlist of music we both like to sing or feel fits us for one reason or another! WILD HEARTS this is like a vry specific to my experience party music or roller skating music!

[timeoverload]

It seemed like everything went wrong today. I had a ton of stuff to wrap waiting at my station when I got there so that took a while to get done. I also had 28 cases and I was grumpy about it. The first pan they opened this morning didn't have any integrators in it so I had to redo it. That was my fault but I was so busy yesterday. I got everything sorted out and things were going ok until 12:30 when the fast doctor started working.

A cannula got lost after his first case so I had to spend a bunch of time looking for it. I ended up trying to dig through the sharps bin in the operating room later in the day. I didn't reach my hand in there obviously and I was using long clamps so I wouldn't hurt myself. I didn't have any luck. The techs also went dumpster diving and couldn't find it. I felt bad because it was hot out and they had to jump in there for a tiny cannula that only costs $20. They have to dumpster dive a lot and I have had to do it too. It's not safe and no one wants to dig through bloody trash. I understand the need to do it if something expensive gets tossed but it shouldn't be something people have to do at least once a week. Maybe if we didn't have to rush, things wouldn't get lost as frequently. I am just mad because that's the first thing that has gotten lost in a while and we were doing so good. I don't know if I overlooked it yesterday or if the tech threw it away. It's frustrating either way.

I was hoping nothing else would get lost but after the 3rd case, there was a kuglen manipulator missing from the pan so I had to stop what I was doing to go talk to the tech. I was so irritated because I was getting behind. I couldn't find it anywhere so I had to pull another one from the closet. They found it eventually so I was happy. The tech accidentally threw it in the sharps bin.

After that, the doctor kept having problems with his I&A handpieces. This has been happening a couple times a week and I'm pissed about it. I am frustrated because I am following the manufacturer's IFU's exactly and it's not working anymore. We used to put them in the ultrasonic for cleaning for years and it worked great. It didn't damage them and I prefer doing it that way. The manufacturer's IFU's stated that they aren't supposed to go in the ultrasonic so we stopped doing that and changed our process so that we were doing things properly. It has caused a lot of problems. The doctor uses a different I&A than everyone else. They are difficult to clean because the tip is curved at a 90° angle but I am as thorough as possible. They are all getting old. They don't make them anymore and I can see why. The doctor is stubborn and refuses to use anything else. I'm not sure what he is going to do when they are gone because they don't last forever. I got fed up and I made an executive decision to start putting them in the ultrasonic again immediately because they had to file an incident report and I couldn't wait to talk to anyone about it. It's a safety issue. I did call the coordinator and the director upstairs and I wasn't expecting it to turn into a huge ordeal but I was dealing with it the rest of the day. The director confirmed that I was doing everything correctly and we can't figure out what's going on with them because they seem to be working fine on our end. He is going to do some testing on one of them with a borescope tomorrow so I hope he can find some answers. The doctor is working in the morning so I am going to be upset if this continues to be an issue. I do not have the patience for that right now.

I had a big stack of pans to wash and sterilize and it took me almost 2 hours to get that done. I still have a pile of shit on my station and I'm probably going to need to go in a little earlier tomorrow so I am prepared for the day. I didn't even check the schedule but I already know it's going to be rough. I am probably going to be grumpy again. I don't want to think about work anymore because it is stressing me out.

I got 20 weird messages from my mom today. I can tell she is getting worse. She keeps sending me bible verses such as psalms 23:4. I think she is going to hurt herself. I can't have a conversation with her because she doesn't know what's going on. I wish I could just go pick her up and give her a place to live. I don't know what to do for her.

I need to try to calm down now but it might take a while. I got food to eat so I don't need to worry about that at least. I am really tired and my body hurts so I need to get some stuff done so I can lay down. I will do my best to not be grumpy and stay positive tomorrow. I hope it will be a better day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too. Thanks for listening to me vent. 💖💖💖

[theoreticaltranstherian]

New Years Plan

This year, in 2024, I am going to follow a new plan.

Plans are hard for me but I've been getting better

Thats going to be the motto this year: "I'm getting better"

Anyone who stumbles upon this, feel free to use this as inspiration for your new year

Please don't give me hate. The stuff on this list is stuff I struggle with.

DAILY:

Change my clothes and put them in the hamper

I wake up late most days before school because of ADHD paralysis, and so I want to be able to get up earlier and have time to move slowly

Brush my teeth

I got braces recently and I don't brush my teeth enough because I can never find the motivation. Hopefully if I wake up earlier to get dressed I'll have time to brush my teeth more too

EAT.

The average weight that someone who is 5'6 and AFAB is 120-130, and i have not weighed above 118 in months. I take Adderall so eating is already hard, plus I don't quite understand what being hungry feels like? I know that sounds weird but I just eat when my stomach hurts and I hope to change that.

Do my homework (ALL OF IT)

I have a big problem with getting my homework done because I just can't make myself do it. I just can't get myself to touch it half the time and I never know why. I just passed this semester with all As and Bs and I hope to keep that streak going.

Say 1 thing I like about myself

This is pretty self explanatory. ✨️Depression and self hatred. ✨️

Make my bed

I'm hoping it will help me stay motivated to keep my room clean if I have my bed all comfy every night

Take a shower

*Without sitting on the floor in the shower for an hour and contemplating life

Sit at my altar

Honestly I just think spending time at my altar has helped with my stress; it's like a place that I can control and that I have power over and where I van do my part to help others with things they may not be able to control. I meditate there, make spell jars there, and write in my journal there.

WEEKLY

Do my laundry

Once again, my room. We've been redoing it lately and keeping clean clothes will help me always get changed AND keep it clean

Clean my room a bit

I haaaate cleaning my room. I love having my cozy little areas like dens and places under furniture and boxes of shiny stuff. I know I need to keep things clean though so I'm gonna do it little by little to make it easier

Do dishes

*without being asked to repeatedly

Do a craft

Being creative is a great way for me to help with fighting depression as well as boredom. I have a bunch of stuff I've been planning to make, and this will finally give me the chance to

Post on Tumblr

I don't know how other people think of tumblr, but I imagine it sort of like you are writing on a piece of paper and hanging it on a string from the ceiling, where others will walk around and read it. I want to use this upcoming year to share my journey in self improvement and healing from everything that's happened, whether that be by venting or by giving advice I myself need.

Anyone who's interested in seeing how the journey goes, I'll be posting weekly like I said, so hopefully we'll see some improvements!!!

I hope anyone else following this or another new years resolution has luck and strength in sticking with their plans <3

Go into the new year breathing out, so all of 2023 will be left behind and you get a fresh start

[tabby-shieldmaiden]

fire, ice, clouds, spring

Fire: What’s a scene that you are dying to write?

There's a lot of them. But for the current big WIP, I'm both really hoping to get to part 2 (because part 1 really is just setting up the world the characters inhibit) so that the plot can really begin. And In particular, I'm really hoping to get to the bit where I go a little bit more into detail about the main antagonist's backstory, and how he ended up in his position of power.

Ice: What do you always get stuck on when writing?

It kind of depends. Usually when I'm stuck on writing, it's because I'm feeling tired from other life stuff. But generally I can keep writing and meet my daily goals by just... pushing myself to stick it out until it's done more or less ^^;. This style of writing and word-dumping when I'm too tired to write properly is producing this mess of a first draft which will no doubt be a headache to clean through, but hey, better than nothing.

Clouds: How clearly do you picture a scene before you start writing it down?

I think I generally need a rough idea about what I'm writing towards before I can properly write anything down. I don't think I necessarily picture anything really clearly, but as long as I have the outline, sitting down and writing it out tends to help that outline materialise into something more solid.

Spring: Have you ever scrapped (a huge chunk of) a story to start over?  Why did the change come about?

Yeah totally. I think I restarted writing this current WIP like three times before sticking with the current beginning. I needed to get myself to stop rewriting the intro, so I made myself stop at three times. But I think during the rewrite, I will have to redo the beginning now lol. There's one that'll be much more fitting I have in mind now, based on what the story is evolving to be.

I also restarted writing a bunch of my fanfics back in the day. Mostly because back then, I was mostly learning to write by producing huge quantities of stories. And if I couldn't keep writing until the story was done, I took it as a sign that something was wrong.

In particular, I restarted my Sonic Boom Skylanders angst fic at least three times before I got to the final version. This was a part of my NaNoWriMo project that year. I still counted all the words of fic that I wrote but never published towards the word count for the challenge, but the first two versions, when I tried to write them, about halfway through I felt like something was off and I couldn't figure out how to continue. So I just... dropped them. And restarted. Until I got to the final version.

For this writer's ask meme

[avoider-net]

Rebranding is hard

Even if it’s something barely anyone looks at, it’s something I spend quality time shaping and honing at my leisure. While I only do it for fun, it’s still something I pour a good bit of my soul into, which is why it’s worth considering somewhat seriously.

But for me, the thing that gave me difficulty wasn’t the rebrand itself since my old one was such a long edgy-ass name anyway, so this new one is a welcome change. What put my balls through a salad shooter was dealing with the main asset of the brand, which is the website.

Website

It was expensive since I had to get a new domain name — the very thing that made consider the rebrand in the first place. If the domain weren’t available and I didn’t fall in love with it at first sight, I would’ve stayed Avoiderdragon for at least another 18 years.

The blog has a decade’s worth of posts. They’re not a lot since I couldn’t be consistent with writing posts throughout the years, but there are some bangers in there with SEO that I didn’t want to lose. I had previously paid for the old domain for the next 10 years, and I did the same for the new one. The good thing with that splurge is that I could set up a redirect.

Unfortunately, the only real way for me to do that is to find a service that has better options for redirecting. My current hosting service doesn’t have one that lets its https domain redirect to my new one, so I had to route it to another service that turned out to have such an option.

I split hairs for a couple of days and spent thousands of pesos (which I can afford, so don’t worry) to finally find a way to make every URL in my old domain redirect to my new one and still be able to use whatever minuscule chunk of SEO I got for the past decade.

Perhaps this time, with a new and better brand, I’ll be motivated to write stuff that will get way more views so I won’t have to care about the SEO of the old domain anymore and I can finally put it to rest (and save some money).

YouTube Channel

The reason I really wanted a rebrand was so I could be assed enough to do something about my long-abandoned YouTube channel, which I stopped uploading to in the middle of 2018. While making videos has never stopped being fun for me, it stopped being so for that channel with that name due to mistakes I made along the way and all the toxic comments I foolishly deigned to read.

I gave it a long-delayed spring cleaning. I downloaded the old videos I uploaded there as far back as 12 years ago and then deleted them. It used to be my personal channel, so I had some really old stuff with my friends in them. As I counted down the years, it made me think that perhaps I really should’ve uploaded more, but I couldn’t do that just because I wanted to blow up because I know that would only result in shoddy work and questionable ethics.

Video is a lot of hard work, and I don’t want to fall into the trap of doing it just because I had to. This time around, I got a bunch of drafts I would like to try turning into videos I can be proud of. I think I’ll do that by starting over and redoing the videos that have remained in the channel. If I can improve on them, I know I can redeem myself.

Facebook Page

I live in the Philippines. Therefore, I’m on Facebook. That’s just how it goes. While I have multiple YouTube channels because I have no lick of sense, I have one Facebook page I upload all my vids and share all my blog posts to. I also share links and write statuses on it. I don’t expect it to blow up at all since it’s neither a meme page nor full of lewds that would attract eyeballs.

But I’ve had a couple of videos go viral in Facebook. That brings me some hope as while the YouTube algorithm is a cruel mistress and going viral on Twitter is basically setting yourself up for public torture, the Facebook algorithm seems to be a bit more fair. I should upload more on it and see if I can find some traction with more content.

I also used to stream on Facebook because it was easier for me to get an audience through it, no matter how small. But there’s no way to blow up as a streamer in that platform unless you’re a pretty girl playing Mobile Legends or a known online personality. And even if you’re famous on Facebook, you get up to a few thousand viewers at best, nowhere near Twitch numbers.

While its a surprisingly ok platform for video, it’s being superseded by TikTok. Even if Facebook now has reels, YouTube also has Shorts now, so its a double whammy against it. Meta lost several billion dollars this year due to what now-former Meta VR consultant and executive John Carmack would describe as “inefficient and fragile”. Just give the Meta Business Suite a try and tell me it’s not a convoluted mess.

However, Facebook is the only platform I was able to properly rebrand to Avoider.net with. All other platforms don’t take the dot on either the profile or the URL, and worse is some don’t take it on both (fucking YouTube). Perhaps the one sacrifice with this rebrand is that I don’t have a consistency with URLs on every social media channel like I used to.

(I also was able to do so with TikTok, but I haven’t been on there long enough.)

And before you say, “Why not just make it avoidernet?”, I counter that by saying that the point of having the dot there is to promote the website. Perhaps in the future, I’ll get rid of that separator and just have it be ‘avoidernet’ once I get over the need to promote the website through it, but that’s not going to be for a while.

Other Channels

If I get really active, I should post on other platforms like TikTok and Instagram. However, the caveat here is that minding more than two platforms is not recommended as you’d stretch yourself too thin and won’t be able to do your best work in the platorms that actually matter for your brand.

But if making shortform video content becomes a part of what I do, then I might as well give some priority those platforms as well. 

Conclusion

I can’t promise that I won’t be lazy. But so far, with this rebrand, I’ve been feeling quite motivated. Let’s see how it goes for 2023.

[soibeanxgalactica]

2023

Trying to start cleaning up for New Years. Might end up having to go back to my side blog since I really like all of the fandom stuff people post, and I don't want to unfollow anyone, but I also need to focus more on trying to be productive, keeping everything tidy, and especially eating better (spent $300+ in food stamps earlier. yay!). I really need to get in a better mindset for school too. I only took one class, and (as of right now) I'm almost definitely failing. The only real upside to taking this class has been that I will literally do anything that isn't schoolwork, including deep clean my trailer, organize all of my kid's belongings, and read single chapters out of a bunch of different books in my, "to be read," pile.

So far for new years preparations I've: - Rearranged my room again - Gotten a fresh notebook - Finally got my hands on, "Burn After Writing," by Sharon Jones

As of right now, I think my main goals for next year are just to do better in school and at being organized and a functioning adult before my 30th in June, to actually plan a nice celebration for myself, and reading. Should really re-listen to, "Atomic Habits," by James Clear (and stop drinking Mtn Dew and redoing all of the HTML on my Spacehey at 1am xD). I know I missed a bunch around the middle to end when I started getting bombarded with memories the first time around, right as it started to get useful too.

Side note: While I am enjoying all of the pink in my room, it's really missing my celestial vibe and could use some dark purple accents and gold lights. Still need to set up the led lights in the living room. Not sure if I want to put my rug back down since children, crumbs, and spillage are major aspects of my life right now.

[thebibliosphere]

Hello! I hope that you are well* (*As well as can be, in spoonie terms). I'm writing to ask if you have any Spoonie Advice on how to keep going with house repairs when it seems like your house invents new ways to be inaccessible every week. I had to move recently, and meeting the rising tide of accessibility challenges in my new apartment is daunting and tiring. Any tips, tricks, or words of wisdom? (No pressure to answer though, if you don't have the spoons or wouldn't like to!)

Hello, thank you <3 I hope you're doing well too. (With the same caveat of course lol)

My advice would be to do what is immediately available to you to improve your life and help you preserve energy for the big things.

When we first moved into our house, I was suffering the worst of my fatigue. Yet foolishly, I did very little to make my life easier. I was stuck in the mentality of not wanting to spend money on temporary fixes that would make my life easier because we would eventually redo the entire space.

So why bother to invest in a shower chair so I can sit down and preserve energy while I wash? We were going to redo the tub soon. Why bother with mobility aids that suction to the wall and don't require drilling? We're going to be installing permanent ones at some point. Why waste $20 on an ugly piece of plastic that I eventually won't need?

I did the same in our apartment. Why bother to do XYZ to the space when it would never be our permanent home? I could manage, I could cope. I didn't need to make minor accommodations when we would eventually make major ones.

Was there some internalized ableism going on there? More than probably. Was I justifying denying myself aids that would improve my life because I was suffering under the idea of being more efficient and cost-effective in the long run? Absolutely.

So yeah, when everything seems overwhelming, look around your space and try to assess what can easily be helped with a quick trip to your local Walgreens or Home Depot, or a quick look at Amazon and browsing through the accessibility options.

Would a shower chair help you preserve energy in the shower? Great! They can also double as extra flat storage space at the side of the tub/shower when not in use.

Would temporary suction cups bars help your stability in the shower? Also great. And the good thing about temp ones is you can take them with you if you wind up going somewhere where you're not sure your accessibility needs will be met.

Would extra laundry baskets help you pre-sort your laundry, thus removing an extra step from the executive dysfunction chain come laundry day? Awesome.

Would removing cabinet doors help with executive dysfunction so you can see where everything is? Cool. Most are easy to unscrew and set aside for putting back on later if/when you move on from a rented space.

Same with labels? Would labeling things help you find stuff? You could buy a label maker, or you could get some crafting tape that peels off from (most) finishes easily and write them by hand.

Would something like the 15-minute pick-up help you keep on top of your cleaning routine and make it easier for you to tackle? Fab. I bought a bunch of cheap buckets and baskets from Ikea to keep things contained. Helps with my dust allergies and reduces tripping hazards in the house.

Can't reach the storage space in your house? We bought low-down sorting bins for me to use that don't require a lot of upward mobility. You can get some pretty stuff at Ikea too if you're able to build things or have someone who can help you with them.

If the counters in your kitchen are too high, are you able to place a table you can comfortably sit at for food prep, or can you bring a chair into the space you can use to boost yourself up the counter height?

What about your utensils? Would tools designed for mobility help save energy/reduce injury? (Some good examples when searching Amazon for 'knives for arthritis'.)

I don't know what your specific needs are, but if you would like to discuss examples with me, I can try to help troubleshoot them and lighten the mental load. That’s the benefit of having a diverse disabled community around you. We get to share our experiences and our life hacks. And they're usually more helpful than "install an entire pulley system of ropes and sliders across your basement staircase to do your laundry in the basement" when you're talking about waiting to install a washer and dryer on your main floor lol.

(I love all of you. It's just mentally taxing when people all keep suggesting the same thing repeatedly. Especially when that thing involves major structural work that isn't actually as simple as it sounds.)

Of course, these are all steps that require money, but that is sadly true of most accessibility steps. The world is not built with us in mind, so it always costs extra for us to function in it. But from experience? It's money well spent, even if you have to do it gradually and if the goal is to replace them with "better" things in the end. Tackling things in little steps helps. And honestly, sometimes you don’t realize how much the accumulative weight of minor problems is weighing on you until you pick them off one by one.

A kilo of feathers still weighs the same as a kilo of steel. Just because one is softer and not as hard looking doesn’t make it any lighter to carry.

[hollyhomburg]

(tw: breif talk of suicidal stuff/depression/self-harm, past sexual assault, venting) My life is so stressful right now and like- it's activating the [redacted bad thoughts that arise whenever I want an easy way out of heavy life events] my brother home and shit, and my grandparents are talking about redoing my whole house so that they can live in our basement so that they can avoid living in my aunt's house- who has a completely done basement just because my grandmother doesn't like how my uncle talks to her. That's literally the only reason.

and they don't have any money, and my mom and my brother only have a little bit and my grandfather has my brother believing some of this like- extravagant shit that they're going to do with our house which is basically tare it apart and redo it for nearly half a million dollars which is just- so untheasable and ridiculous and they just yell at anyone who calls them ridiculous and it's so fucking frustrating to deal with a bunch of men who really have no common sense.

and as much as I know my house is a piece of shit it is also my home that I've lived in for my entire life and my brother keeps saying that because I don't own it and I'm living with my mom I have no say in what happens to it and like the layout of the rooms and- fuck.

my sister and I were talking about it and I was getting overwhelmed this weekend and like- I literally had an intrusive thought that became an intrusive word out my mouth sort of situation and I just said like "yeah I need to die already" when I meant to say, "I need to move out already" and she looked really shocked but she didn't say anything and we just kinda glossed over the moment and moved on.

As much as I want to live on my own and be a fully-fledged human being, i know I couldn't cope with having no support system right now. and the only way i'd be able to move out is if i went to another country where like- the cost of living was cheaper, and while I do wanna go teach in South Korea, I really do, but the last time i lived there like- things weren't as good as I always make them out to be like

i know i romanticize the fuck out of the time i lived there- but literally the first week i bought a razor and was like internally "if i feel like i can't go home i won't make it home" and of course, alot of things changed and my life didn't suck as much by the time i actually left. I met my soulmate and i really became myself, But i still almost threw myself off a fucking bridge when i lived there and was raped and drugged by two separate men.

i really feel like now, especially with how things are in the world, i don't want to live away from my mom like She might be shitty to me sometimes but she really is the only person who loves me at all besides my one friend. and my brother is making me feel like I have no right to the home we've both lived in our whole lives. and I have no way to buy into the house even if I wanted too- which I'm not sure I do

i mean, i was raped and abused and sexually assaulted here too. i still shower in the same bathroom where I had to clean up my own blood after trying to kill myself. I want the house to be redone and I want things to change I just don't want it to happen this way, i don't want to feel pushed out of my own home before i can stand on my own two feet and like- what am i even trying to do with my life anyway.

[firespirited]

grouch

I spent the weekend

*making a parcel work for a buyer from a country I hadn’t allowed (sent via letter post with a ton of bubble wrap) then having to check the listings again for these countries ebay keeps adding.

*a parcel and listing for a buyer without paypal who wanted a bunch of stuff from different bundles which meant redoing the bundles and making a custom listing for finland. But hey dolls out is good, I didn’t make my money back but I do have more space. Free real estate!

*trying to wrap the amazon return external harddrive enclosure better than it arrived (rattling around in a big box and broken) and sticking the harddrive in my computer to test if that wasn’t the problem. It’s fine, it’s a 1TB seagate because the harddrive I *was* going to buy was sold out, amz suggested another and my brain defaulted to 2005 and went 1 terrabyte is mega-giga-big right?!

anyway “just” plugging something in your computer case means crawling around on the floor in a tiny space: the weather’s suddenly changed and all your joints have decided they’re barometers. Like maybe if I was a cavewoman I might appreciate the painful (and rusty feeling ?) heads up that a massive thunderstorm is coming but modern me likes thunderstorms and doesn’t like hands about as useful as a bunch of bananas. anyway you get down there under your desk like a cosmonaut in a tin can and there’s a decade’s worth of the finest dust on all the delicate electronics even though you cleaned it last year because it’s literally a giant dust magnet. And it’s one of those things where one job turns into four, ya know?

*getting very messy sleep and naps because I’m stupidly sound sensitive right now and Lily has an ear infection and refuses to be alone. she doesn’t want contact, she doesn’t want to stay in one place but she can’t be alone. she’s seeing the vet on thursday.

*reworking the way I eat and drink because what do you know? cutting out all sugar leaves you with no energy to make food let alone fight the nausea and eat? *shocked face* I’d already moved to remove direct sucrose/fructose sugar last year (no dark chocolate, no biscuits, no orange juice) and went through a mental and physical withdrawal.  However, going down to just carbs this year has left me in a right mess and I was eating too much to compensate. So the compromise is that I have a 1.5L bottle of 0% lemonade with about 5g total of sugar fruit concentrate in it, it’s in my bedroom so I can have a glass or a swig when I need just a tiny boost to get going. I’m told eventually the body adapts and well yes last year I was using slightly larger amounts of sugar to power through things. We’re at a point where going completely without isn’t possible...yet. The irony of becoming diabetic is that my sugar consumption at it’s highest didn’t come close to average consumption and my body is reacting to fractions of the normal amounts because this wasn’t a normal onset and my pancreas and liver are still mildly inflamed. So online guides are pretty useless. I can get myself to the kitchen with 0.5g of sucrose then end up yellow and swollen because they added 3g of sucrose to the shepard’s pie. I have zero internal monitors or alarms because ADHD, constant pain, constant exhaustion and rollercoaster bloodpressure because of POTS so sugar and lack of sugar sort of happen AT me instead of I guess normal regulation and adaptation. I’m trying very hard to not fall into any kind of obsessive pattern and resentment or envy towards food, nor guilt when it poisons me.

I try to set aside a moment to enjoy my food however messed up i’m feeling, even if i’m hypo and wanting to throw it down me like a pelican, be grateful however painful it was to prepare. I would just really like the wild reactions to settle down so i can adapt to a new routine. I’m at peace with giving up sugar and being careful with carbs, there are other tastes to enjoy, I’m experimenting with different peppers! It would be nice to eat without it feeling like i’m on an internal energy bucking bronco. I’m really looking forward to finishing my new weekly menu so I don’t have to calculate or just be thinking about fuel all the time anymore. Back when my gallbladder broke and I wasn’t well enough for surgery I got so sick of the maths I made myself a weekly meal plan that was mostly rice,veg and lean fish/meat and stuck to it for 18 months. It was very boring but I didn’t have to *think* about it. I’d tell myself at least it wasn’t the protein goo they eat outside the matrix and try to not imagine myself as Cypher trading humanity away for a black forest gateau with mousse and biscuit layers.

[cafe-sugar-skull]

.:~Ink’s Sketchbook “Error #2″~:.

--------------------------------------------------------------

tfw a chapter of your current favorite fan fic has a part where the characters are looking through a sketchbook and it lists a bunch of sketch descriptions and you go like “challenge accepted”.

Okay, so no one was actually challenging me, but it was free drawing prompts and it felt like the universe was daring me so I immediately jumped for it.

I like Error’s hobo outfit much more, but since the Ink in the story has known Error for about a thousand years and has nine total sketchbooks full of nothing but the glitchy cutie pie plus another 6 full of Ruru erotica I figure in “Error #2″ he’d have his classic outfit.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Page 1

“A collection of Error's face with varying expressions...”

Hate the top left expression.  Looks weird, but since it was my first go drawing an Error face without a reference I feel I can forgive myself for that.  Hate the bottom right expression too but only because that peaceful face doesn’t feel like Error.  And because I couldn’t figure out how to do peaceful with a Sans mouth.  It was my first attempt for Page 5 and in the end I admitted that I just don’t have the expression skills needed to pull what I wanted off for that picture.  It was still a nice looking face though so I included it in Page 1.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Page 2

“Error scowling on his bean bag with his game boy. Error arguing with a less distinct other person.” 

My favorite page!  These prompts were the most fun to draw.  Error makes for the most adorable grump and I love him for it. <3 The “less distinct other person” is an Anonymous voice!  I thought the idea of Error feeding a troll to be hilarious and ran with it.  At least one of them seems like they’re having a good time. xD

Also, fuck the paper I drew these on.  The book has some pages that are colored grey instead of white and that messes with things.  Gave the drawings a dark tint that I can’t do anything about, so I’m a bit salty about that.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Page 3

“A notable one of Error standing as if in triumph over the viewer of the image, one fist clenched and pulling a collection of strings taught.”

Not exactly how I first pictured it but it will do.  Also I forgot that Error was supposed to be standing instead of kneeling until I was pretty much finished with it.  Oops.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Page 4

“Error laughing, hands in pockets, as an arrow labelled Killer pointed down into a collection of muck and marsh plants.”

So. I drew all of these sketches in my 365 drawing book.  You know, the one with the ruled lining in it because it’s supposed to be a book for writing prompts.

So imagine me, initially thinking I’d just draw a few plants, getting carried away and drawing the whole dang swamp, and then realizing when I was done that I was going to have to edit out all those damn lines.  I went “oh fuck” and then proceeded to spend two hours on clean up for this sketch alone.  Cleaning up each sketch already took a long time so holy hell.

Oh well, at least it looks neat.  Just wish Killer’s booty didn’t get lost in all the details. :(

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Page 5

“Finally, Ink stopped on a page near the end that had clearly been looked at a lot. The top corner was a little crumpled and dog-eared as if Ink fiddled with that section of the paper often. This one was of Error smiling. Not the smirking grin, not his crazy smile, but his normal smile. The one usually only seen in private by very few beings. Ink smiled back at it. The image had been delicately painted with watercolors making it even softer than the expression had been.”

*flips a table*

Could have been better. Could have been worse. I found a great digital watercolor tutorial but in the end I still didn’t know what I was doing.  Maybe someday I’ll try redoing this when I level up my arting skills but for now it looks nice, it looks soft, it fits the prompt, I’m done.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Whew... well that’s one big project done.  A major “Our Tangled Web” itch has been scratched.  Maybe now I can go back to working on some of my own stuff.  Or do fanart for other fanfics.  =w=

...............Pfffffff... yeah right, maybe.  We’ll see how long I last. xD

=========================

“Our Tangled Web” by: @raithwin and @avatarkayla

=========================

Error (c) @loverofpiggies Ink(’s hands) (c) @comyet

[pbandjesse]

I have been so cold all day and it is making me not feel great! Also I keep sneezing. I do not know if that's attached to the cold part. But man. The few times I was warm today was so nice.

I didn't sleep bad last night but I did not want to get out of bed because it was so cold in here. I didn't have to get up. But there were things to do.

James had gone to get their license renewed. They get a new picture and everything. So I was alone for a bit. I woke up at 9 but wouldn't actually get out of bed until almost 10. I got washed and sort of dressed. I just put a sweater on over my leggings from yesterday. I just needed to be warm. It was the only way I could accomplish anything.

I had a small breakfast while I got started on my work. I didn't do any cleaning but I would get all caught up on my styling, thankfully. That was a struggle. I would do 2 in the morning, and then gave myself a break.

I painted my nails while I learned my program for Wednesday. I will need to have it printed out I am sure, but I got the general idea. I have to teach it 4 times so I am sure I will be great at it by the end. Its all about bees, which is fine, but I am still a little unclear on how to hit the beats of all the info. It will be okay. They wont know if I mess it up.

While my nails were drying I let myself go sit with James in their room and played animal crossing for an hour. I am glad I gave myself that time. James got back right before their shift started. And I played animal crossing and my nails dried and I got back to work.

I cut and sewed a bunch of bears. I have 33 done now. I hope to get to 40 or 45. But I am very pleased with all my work. It took a while. Sewing went a lot better but I was not doing any fluffy friends. So I am sure that helped. I got everyone flipped and added their eyes and noses. And I was just really happy with myself.

This was late afternoon and I was really tired. But I wouldn't let myself lay down until I finished the styling I had to go. So I styled my last 2 people and it went fine, but was still a struggle.

I would lay in the studio and just watched tiktoks for an hour. Eventually getting up to go sit with James and play animal crossing again. I want to redo a bunch of stuff now because of the new things I have access too. But I don't want to binge it all, I want to take my time. So I will do my best to not try to rush through everything. Though I am really excited that I have access to boats now!! I can take my islands away that were pretending to be boats. I am super pumped.

The sun went down and me and sweetP just laid on the couch until James was one work. And we headed to their parents to have dinner for James's birthday. And it was really nice just spending time with them all. Lots of laughs. We had pizza and pumping pie and James got a couple gifts. It was nice. We talked about Christmas plans and when we would stay in hotels and stuff. I am excited for the holidays.

We headed home and would start putting their birthday legos together. Just did one part. I got a shower and am trying to warm up in bed now. James is asleep with their phone in their hand. So I am going to get ready to sleep too. I hope you all have a great night tonight. Sleep good!

[bomberqueen17]

misc

am at work. i went in at 8am because it was that or, like, kill an hour. i was up, i was ready, why the fuck not.

unemployment asks how many days you worked, not how many hours. so there’s no point going in a few hours for several days, which had been my original thought. i’m so much more productive that way? but no. so i’m going to see if i can’t knock out nine hours’ worth of work today.

my position ideally should be done by somebody who comes in three hours a day three or four days a week. this doesn’t work with my schedule of traveling. they ought to replace me. it would be for the best for both of us. sadly, they cannot find someone, i am certain, to do the work for the pittance they pay me. (for the last six years at least the only time I have been given raises have been because NYS has raised the minimum wage so it’d be illegal not to give me a raise. i know, right? well.) so they accomodate my schedule, but that means that I can’t possibly really do the work in a way that makes sense. so it piles up while I’m not there, and then I do a bunch and get ahead and nobody touches it while I’m gone, so I come back and have to redo it. We’re trying to work out ways around it but it’s ridiculous, they should get someone else, but nobody else will do it, but why do I do it? why do i think I’m not worth more money?

well isn’t that a question for the ages, hm?

anyway, in two days off, I did get a lot of cooking stuff done that I’d wanted to, but no cleaning or sewing, which were the things I really wanted to do.

One entirely stupid thing I did, well, that wasn’t entirely stupid-- I got a giftcard from work like a year ago for the sales commission on some cameras, you’re not supposed to get it for online sales but my supervisor worked out a way, and anyhow, it was three hundred bucks and that’s not nothing. But I couldn’t use it for gas, and that’s literally the only thing I’ve bought since March. I had been saving it to buy myself a treat or something, but. No.

So I went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of beer with it, and then restocked my travel first aid kit. I had a good one, but it got burnt up in the yurt fire. So I bought all the band-aids in the world, and some assorted other shit, and then I sat at the table and packaged it nicely into this sweet stiff-sided nylon case I got at work-- someone traded it in with camera equipment in it but it’s red and has a white cross on it and has mesh and vinyl pockets inside, it’s clearly meant to be a first-aid kit. So I cleaned it really well and threw it in my closet and like a year later here I am putting it together.

As I was doing so, I used a knife to open the shrink-wrapping on a bottle of ibuprofen and cut myself with the knife, so I put neosporin and a band-aid on it like a competent human and laughed at myself. Normally, I would’ve just wrapped it in a bit of paper towel and gone about my business until the paper towel fell off.

Dude came in and saw All The Band-Aids and was like “as an adult I go through like, one of those every five years,” and wordlessly I held up my hand and he started laughing.

I hadn’t been in a grocery store since like April, not really. I didn’t know where to stand. I have just... I mean, I’ve been freeloading, living at various people’s houses and eating their food and moving through the world like a ghost, living as an accessory to other people’s lives, unpaid and not paying. If my credit card company is selling my data they must think I died; I bought my last tank of gas in cash because BIL occasionally slips me cash and guess what, Stewarts still lets you select “pay inside” and then get gas, good old Stewarts. Nobody here in Buffalo lets you do that, you gotta prepay and then go in for change or go without a full fill-up.

Oh, weird observation-- it’s a long-term fact of life I’ve known for years that gas is cheaper the farther East you go on the Thruway. Like, gas on the Thruway is usually a few cents more expensive, not enough to get off an exit but you’re not getting a deal, but as you go east it climbs, and it’s as much as thirty cents more a gallon in Troy than it is in Buffalo? Well, currently, that’s the opposite. I got it at $2.29/gal and when I got off in Buffalo it was $2.09. Been like this the whole pandemic, give or take fifty cents across the board. Couldn’t begin to tell you why. Did the supply chain reverse? I don’t know! It’s weird!

Anyway, I had cause to pull a jar off a basement shelf that said “med containers” on it in my handwriting and discovered it was full of medium-sized containers in leather, plastic, or glass that I’d saved from various things. Delightful! One was a latching hinged plastic waterproof case with the name of one of the products at work we distribute, and it was perfectly sized to fit a tube of neosporin and a bunch of assorted band-aids, so now i have a purse first aid kit too. Good for me, I’ll lose it shortly but I feel prepared now. I also found a plastic box embroidery thread had come in, and with a rubber band around it to keep it shut it’s perfect to hold Q-tips in my travel toiletries bag, so that’s another win. (I had a great tin for that purpose but yurt fire, shrug, I’ve just been doing without Q-tips this whole time and I mean, you can get by using a washcloth and it’s probably better for you but I do like a good Q-tip now and then.)

I also wrote a bunch of porn yesterday. I’m not done. The chapter is over eight thousand fucking words long, and it’s almost entirely porn, I mean it about the “fucking” words-- I mean, I guess there’s more than one bit where nobody’s fucking but they’re reading porn, and I’m not going nearly as much into detail with that as I’d expected from the brainstorm sessions, but the actual fucking itself is a completely different dynamic than I had intended all along. I really really had a plan, and it’s not doing any of that, at all. F’rex I thought they’d do dramatic readings of the pornography but Jaskier said it was too filthy for him to read aloud, so he’s just gasping and giving Geralt judgy eyes. Yennefer was going to be in charge but she is falling down on the job. Jaskier just got a glass of wine and is sitting and keeping score in a notebook while the other two fuck. Geralt thinks he’s hilarious and is doing a more-terrible-than-usual job at hiding this. Yennefer is beyond caring about anything except orgasms.

I feel like I have to let them do whatever they want, though, because I was figuring on having this be the last chapter of that particular story, and I wanted to wrap it all up. Which begs the question-- you can re-order series on AO3, and while MDS-->Sisterhood-->Innermost Depths --> Ancient Sea makes coherent sense, it sort of doesn’t because most of the other stories are earlier in the timeline, so how the hell do I arrange that???

Anyway Ancient Sea isn’t the end of the series, anyway, I just.

also I’ve already written an epilogue but I might post it as a separate story because it’s got a Ten Years Later tag on it that I don’t entirely want to take seriously as I’m not committing to any timeline beyond 1263 really. But that’s a lot of thinking.

Anyhow I’m working as I write this but I should go focus more on really getting work done, since I’ve got to cram a couple of months of work into today.

[salted-cushions]

Cleaning out my late grandmother’s house so I can move in and take care of it (and not pay rent).

Plan: Sort through the contents of master bedroom, ensuite, living room, foyer, dining room; send some to trash, some to donations, find homes for stuff we’re keeping in the family. Get all the furniture out of those rooms for deep cleaning (scrub walls and trim with sugar soap, steam clean carpets, throw away old curtains, etc). Paint and recarpet the bedroom because I can’t live in a powder pink old lady room. Get myself some furniture I need like a chest of drawers and a couch. Return furniture I want to use, store sell or donate furniture I don’t, move my stuff in, gradually replace old kitchen utensils and tableware with new matching ones, plan next steps (i.e. replace old lino in kitchen with proper tile, paint foyer, paint and recarpet living, redo kitchen cabinets/benchtops, new appliances, redo ensuite, etc etc etc. Making long long term plans).

Reality: Jesus there’s so much crap in here. Op shop basically kicked me out after I dumped 8 160L bags of old clothes on them. Holy shit there’s a lot of books. Mum’s apparently gonna take them to her attic but I don’t think they’ll fit, even boxed up. Hey, some of these are 150 years old and in pretty condition. Wow, is that my grandfather’s architecture thesis design? Hey, this old leatherbound bible has my great-grandfather’s name in the cover! Shit, the pile of junk in the dining room has grown not shrunk; at least the other rooms are getting clean. The painter that gives my family mates rates is on holiday until after I move in... I can deal with pink walls for a week, I guess.

My mum and sister are very sentimental and need to slowly go through a bunch of stuff to see what they want to keep. Where the hell is it gonna go? If it’s staying here there better be cupboard space for it somewhere. Holy hell, it is IMPOSSIBLE to move this piano, I didn’t realise how heavy they were. God, I’ve been covered in dust and cobwebs for the past week. And now I’ve wasted two full days reading random letters and loose journal pages that were in the shelves. There’s no more space to move furniture to. I don’t think we’re gonna be able to steam the carpet in the living room because there’s just no space to take the furniture to (plus getting this piano out and down the step is going to need a whole team and maybe a special ramp or something).

Jesus, my move in date is 3 days away and we’re still not up to cleaning. The dining room pile is even bigger; I guess I won’t have a dining room for a little while. I can deal with that. Finally got all the books boxed up, need to get a skip for the 20+ 160L bags of trash sitting in the carport. I’m mentally and physically exhausted. I haven’t bought my furniture yet but luckily we didn’t move the cheap wardrobe from the bedroom, and if I’m gonna replace it soon I don’t mind it getting moisture damage from sitting on steamed carpet. Ok, we can clean the foyer bedroom and ensuite at least. Move in day is tomorrow, fuuuuuccckkk. I need to buy a shower curtain and stuff. Not even gonna try to clean in the living room, that can wait a week (even though now I need to pay to rent the steam cleaner again). Finally, walls are scrubbed, carpet steamed and hard floors mopped. Now it’s 8pm, I’m half an hour away from where I’m moving from, I need to be back here at 8am to pick up the moving van, I haven’t packed at all and I’ve just realised I’ve filled all my moving boxes with books.

Help