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kenzie-ann27 · 4 years

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My Obnoxiously Long Analysis of Danny Torrance and Richie Tozier

I have thought about this particular analysis for a while, and this has been a really fun thing to write, but at the same time, I feel like I am missing a large part of the story because I am struggling to figure out why? I know these characters are connected in some way, that part is obvious, but I am unsure of the significance. Why are these two characters so similar yet so different? This isn’t a case of the Stephen King self-insert where every male lead is an author but grew up in a weird place and lost a family member that causes him great distress even in his adult life (looking at you, Bill Denbrough and Gordie LaChance). The case of these two characters is different, as their personalities and lives are so different as to not have them be carbon-copies of each other, but at the same time they share so many traits and they have this connection that is interesting to me (though not as interesting anymore, thank you so much, Mike Flanagan).

First, I will talk about the gifs, since I think that’s probably the best place to begin. That quote by Dick Hallorann is so, so interesting to me because it directly relates back to It. Towards the end of the book, Richie recalls a very distinct moment when Bill killed a mosquito that was on the back of Richie’s neck, and he talks a bit about it and how bugs were often drawn to them (though he uses pheromones as an example). Leeches are also mentioned quite descriptively in It as well, them being Patrick Hockstetter’s fear and what kills him in the book. The other gifs are mainly a visual comparison, as I think that the way those two moments were carried out was pretty interesting. I was going to make another visual comparison with the weird cloudy eye effect that both films utilize very well, but that part in It: Chapter Two with Richie does make me pretty uncomfortable. In both movies, essentially, characters’ eyes get clouded over when they get into someone else’s head: Danny Torrance does this to Rose the Hat, while It does it to Richie.

To start off, both Richie and Danny grew up as only children in a family where they had close relationships with their parents despite them having a hard time understanding their children. They both felt closer to their mothers, as their fathers were often busy with work; both Maggie and Wendy seemed to ensure that Richie and Danny grew up with strong moral values, and both of the children were affected greatly when their mothers died. As children, they are forced into an environment where they deal with a supernatural evil, though they are not in any real danger unlike other characters until the end of the story (when Jack chases Danny and when Richie and the other Losers fight It for the first time); all other times, they mainly see things that make them aware of the danger that is present. Notice that with Richie, unlike the other Losers, is not physically affected by It really at any point. This is very different from how It works with the others because that danger is still there even after the event has passed. The blood in Beverly’s bathroom is still there even after she leaves and goes back. But with Richie, in the park, he is able to make the danger go away, he puts those glasses back on and everything goes back to normal (the others physically run away from the danger, but Richie is psychologically running away from it by telling himself it isn’t real). Anyway, this event stays with them long after they’ve grown up and moved far away from the place where the trauma occurred: Richie moved from Maine to California (Chicago in the film) while Danny moved from Colorado to Florida (later to New Hampshire). They then, turn to drugs and/or alcohol, which is said in Doctor Sleep to sort of repress the ability to shine and keep those negative past memories at bay; Richie seems to lean more towards drugs than alcohol, and vice versa for Danny. When they are 40, they are drawn back to the place where they were mainly abused as children and are able to use their abilities to destroy the evil thing finally before returning back home to their pets and their co-workers that they have weirdly close relationships with and all is good. That's essentially their main stories, but I'm also going to talk about a few specific connections that I think are cool to see.

Both Danny and Richie use their hands as the main source of their shining abilities. This is not obvious with Richie in the movie, but it is for Danny with him and Tony. However! In the book, Richie's main goal in life as a child is to become- of all things- a ventriloquist. You know, a person that uses their hands a lot like how Danny does to make it look like Tony is more than just a voice. Speaking of voices, that's Richie's main thing. Who is to say all those voices aren't like Tony in that they're a personification of the shining? (more on this below) This is also a connection between the two because neither of them is particularly good at doing voices, they essentially still just sound like themselves; this doesn't mean that those voices don't represent other people, though, even if they do come out of Danny's and Richie's mouths. The whole hands thing also works for the other members of the Losers Club, with each of the Losers relying on their hands for their jobs, just like Danny, who, in Doctor Sleep, is mentioned as being a janitor before becoming an orderly at a hospice (I would classify him more as an unregistered nurse, as he does say he’s had medical training). Hands and arms in general play huge roles in these two stories, which I think sort of puts the nail in the coffin of this argument. As a child, Danny Torrance gets his arm broken by his father, which is the moment when he starts talking to his imaginary friend/personification of the shining, Tony. While nothing huge happens to Richie’s arms in the book or movie, I would go as far to say (I am aware this goes off-topic, but bear with me here) that in the hierarchy of who shines the brightest of the Losers, Eddie is up there since not only does he get his arm broken twice in the book, it’s also what causes him to die because he gets his good arm bitten off and he bleeds to death. Eddie in his final moments is so strange to me, and I think the reason why that is is that he physically cannot shine. His only arm left is broken. Of course, It would want to take that away from him because it’s aware that Eddie has the ability to kill it.

Both Danny and Richie rely on the guidance of an old (dead) friend to keep them on the correct path. For Danny, this is Dick Hallorann, as he appears in Doctor Sleep to guide Danny to return back to the hotel. For Richie, this is Stanley, as a memory of Stan keeps Richie from going back home.

Both Danny and Richie are able to form a connection with the dead/dying. For Richie, he's mostly connected to those who have already died, while Danny seems to help more with people who are dying. I mostly noticed this in It after realizing the voices of people (rather than original characters) Richie seems to do more often- Humphrey Bogart, James Dean, and Pancho Vanilla (based on Pancho Villa, the Mexican general)- are all people who have died before 1958. I like to imagine that this is just Richie flexing with his shining ability and him being able to form those connections with those people by taking their voices and making them his own. Notice that in the book, “voices” is usually capitalized, as if it represents something a lot more important than just a kid doing an impression.

Both Danny and Richie have confusing relationships with others, specifically their bosses. This is more a personal thing rather than a fact, but I have realized that these characters do have rather strange relationships with others. With Danny, he meets Billy after taking a bus to New Hampshire, and Billy gives him a job and a place to stay. They become fast friends, though I mainly attribute this to their shared ability to shine (yes, of course, I’m going to mention that Danny often sings along to YMCA while working). Danny eventually tells Billy about what’s going on with the missing kids, and Billy is just unusually calm with the situation and agrees to go with him to Idaho to find Bradley’s glove. With Richie, however, I would say the strange coworker comes in the form of Steve, who is his manager in both the book and the movie. Obviously, if you have never been to my blog before, I really like Steve. He’s a fun character to look at not only because of the way he interacts with Richie but because I am willing to bet that that’s who Richie ends up with (at least, in the movie, since that was the plan in the 2010 script). Like Danny with Billy, Richie wants to tell Steve about the crazy stuff that’s happening, if he remembered what happened at all. I know this isn’t really a good explanation for the comparison between Danny and Richie, but I feel like their relationships with Billy and Steve are just really interesting and something that stuck out to me in the books and the movies.

Of course, now, I feel like I need to justify all of this. I need to come up with some reason why these two characters are connected and why I felt the need to write all of this garbage. And for the longest time, I didn’t know why. I didn’t know why these two characters stick out so much in this universe.

And then I rewatched It: Chapter Two.

Richie sticks out the most in that movie because of the way he acts is so different from the others. He feels distant, almost. From the minute I see him on screen I am able to look at him and say “that’s Richie”, but at the same time he feels so different to me, as someone who has looked at this character for a long time to try and dissect him. In his opening scene, for one, unlike all of the others, Richie gets a moment on stage where he stares out blankly and he hears these voices, memories from his past (I don’t remember the exact things they said, but essentially they were the voices of himself, Stanley, Eddie, and Henry). That sticks out to me so much because he is the only character that that happens to, even after he drank a glass of bourbon like a minute beforehand (of course, this also can sort of be explained as the shining is dulled by alcohol, not always taken away completely). To be honest, all of the Losers tend to turn to alcohol when faced with stressful memories throughout the movie. But it wasn’t until later that I realized that Richie was seen differently by the Losers. In the Neibolt House, I feel like the Losers tend to somewhat overreact when it comes to Richie after being attacked by the spider-Stanley (like… when Eddie broke his arm, most of them were focused more on Pennywise rather than helping Eddie). And later after Eddie got stabbed, he looks to Richie as if Richie is going to help him.

This goes back to my hierarchy statement before, but essentially, what I’m getting at is that Richie shines the most. Like… Danny Torrance levels of shine. That’s why they are connected. It’s shown in Doctor Sleep that those who shine the most tend to connect to each other, so who’s to say that Danny didn’t know about Richie? In my hierarchy, by the way, I would say that the order of who shines the most would be: Richie, Stanley, Eddie, Beverly, Bill, Mike, and then Ben. Of course, this would bring up the issue of “if Richie shined the most, then why didn’t the Turtle talk to him instead of Bill?”, and that can just simply be put down to the fact that Bill is the leader. That came to be not because of his shining, but rather simply because of the way he looked; the other Losers (I believe it was either Eddie or Richie) mention that they look up to Bill, mainly because he is taller and stronger and more handsome. Why would the Turtle go to Richie for help with this when Richie has been running away from himself his whole life? Bill was the logical reason because he could lead them in a way that Richie never did.

Overall, I feel like both Richie and Danny have these super similar qualities that are hard to ignore. I love both of these characters, so writing this long piece of garbage was a lot of fun. It was also fun to rewatch these movies and see that there is just this big connection that is there for fans of the books, so I am dying to see where it goes. It feels like they are waiting for The Dark Tower to bring them together with the mentions of the Turtle and Ka and space and all of that, but I feel like a whole new story would be really interesting as well. Plus, you know, I am dying to see a teenaged Abra trying to explain to shining to Richie.

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thoschei-rights · 4 years

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Even more Who Fic ideas I can’t write bc I’m lazy

Okay maybe not lazy- I don’t think I’m lazy? I just really struggle keeping attention, and after a paragraph I’m bored? I struggle to stick with thing?? Idk? I dunno how to explain- but yeah take my ideas and run with them if you like them?? Heck if you write them, hit me up, and I’ll literally link them in this post <3

Okay so some of these exist already but they’re all mostly text fics? But can we please have more Eleven/Dhawan!Master fics?? I think the fandom has mostly just accepted their original meeting was while he was Eleven because he’s the only New Who Doctor not to have a Master Post-Ten? (Look I bolded post-ten so yall don’t think I’m ignoring Nine and The War Doc??) Can we not have the Master lowkey flirting with Eleven and Eleven being flustered af bc Eleven was a baby :’) Idk? I just- I have no excuses haha

This is an idea Ive had for a while, because I like River and y’know? Space Wives?? Please? :’) But anyway, my biggest love would be Thirteen in the Library episodes? Thirteen lowkey infiltrating the exploration squad or whatever the fudge they were called, she could pass as a normal person albeit a bit eccentric? Because River definitely doesn’t know that face if the Husbands of River Song is anything to go by? Thirteen promising herself she’s not there to get involved or change anything, she’s just there to see River one more time- but then Oop- she get’s involved gg :’) Its up to you how much she changes, if anything gets overwritten? Go crazy yo-

This prompt contains Broadchurch S2 spoilers btw Okay this one is a crossover? Sorry. Normally I’m not a crossover person, I just don’t like them most of the time unless they’re really well written? I read an amazing D:BH x Marvel crossover once?? ANYWAY. I’m going off on one... Broadchurch x Who fics aren’t rare.. but ones including Thirteen are hella rare and it makes me so sad?? But anyway, I finished season 2 the other day and lol at they end, Paul is all like lol bye Joe off to Sheffield you go... and I’m just there fucking screaming? Imagine right? Joe is just chilling in Sheffield being the shitstain that he is? And he sees Thirteen? and he’s like? fuck? what? help? Extra points if she’s being super gay with Yaz or she’s lowkey with the Master :’) but either way Joe is pissing himself bc he’s like holy fuck i’m being haunted or karma or- idk :’) extra extra points if Thirteen spots this random human staring and thinks he’s being homophobic or racist or smth and she lowkey gives him a glare and hESHJBF,DJKBFHDHJKFSDG I’m fine. fuck. i’m honestly fine. Joe deserves jail thanks he made my baby cry :ccc

nOW I have that out of the way- iMAgine lets kill hitler but when River gives him her regenerative shizzle, it heals him yes, but he also regenerates into Twelve? bc by this point the ponds have witnessed Mels > River regeneration so they’re aware of the concept? but now? their young energetic puppy of a doctor is a grumpy scot? and they’re whiplash af? but they aren’t the type to get judgemental? bc he’s still the doctor? I think if the ponds ever had to deal with a regen, they’re definitely in the group that would be accepting and wouldn’t taken ten years to get over it (LOOKING AT YOU CLARA YOU MEANIE???) Rory having a mid-life crisis bc now he has TWO anger scot peoples

Clara breaking Thirteen out of prison bc we’ve all seen the Jack versions but hi Clara can’t get back to Gallifrey to be put back in her timestream if iTS ALL DESTROYED SO IS SHE IMMORTAL??/ Anyway yeah Clara is like lmao psyche I’m gonna go save the dork from prison bc ur not telling me she doesn’t keep tabs on him? pft. Thirteen is like woah holy shit Clara? and Clara is like woah holy shit yoU REMEMBER ME AND YOU’RE GORGEOUS AND WOAH SHIT NOW IM GAY?? :’) and then Jack bursts in and he’s like oh i was late which one of you are the doctor- :’)

Asylum of the Daleks except Eleven literally takes Dalek Oswin with him? and news spreads among the universe? the doctor and a dalek> traveling? together? it causes the biggest shOOKETH in the history of shOOKETHs? imagine landing places and peoples reactions to a fuCKING DaleK OH SHIT WE GON DIE but then woah?? a literal sassy female-sounding dalek? hi bye wtf? Yes. We stan Dalek Oswin.

Thasmin bc I need to make sure yall know deSPITE THE USERNAME I DO ACTUALLY DIE FOR THASMIN TOO YKNOW??? anyway, the house-tardis (housis) likes Yaz, bc everyone likes Yaz, have you met her? she’s precious? we love? anyway the housis takes Yaz to the Doctor bc Yaz is lowkey begging bc she needs to save her- she doesn’t know what happens but- she hopes and- anyway the housis takes her to prison and yeet Yaz is a badass and breaks her out? Thirteen is like woAH im gay af when Yaz deadass throws a guard over her shoulder or smth and she’s like I DONT APPROVE OF TH E VIOLEN C E but she’s also gay crisis af :’) we just have lots of prison break alternatives in this church

Can i throw in another broadchurch crossover? I like these... The Master escapes the Kasaavin realm and ends up in Broadchurch? He’s bare confused why everyone looks like the doctor or his/her/their human pets :’) he lowkey does double takes every two seconds. without a tardis he’s forced to live as a human for a bit, while trying to contact the doctor, bc as much as he doesnt wanna admit it, he needs her to give him a lift to his tardis lmao- anyway she eventually turns up and idk , everything falls to shit bc the general public are so confused bc now there’s two beths :’)

the fam end up in petes world after a shitshow in the votex :’) maybe someone crashes into them (lol probably the master being a bish) and yep. thirteen is like o shit nope i cant do this- but the fam wanna explore, so she can’t refuse. and ofc, cliche af but oFC THEY RUN INTO ROSE? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? WE NEED BLONDE BABIES TOGETHER THANKS? maybe thirteen is trying to pretend to be normal and human and its a disaster and the fam are confused but play along, maybe they’re dragged into an alien issue and its all running and shit? maybe meta doc is dead? maybe thirteen wants to tell rose who she is so bad but? she cant? things are so different now? she’s changed so much> she’s scared? jkhflkjhg precious- but yeah take it as you wANT YO

the fam meeting missy. you can set missy pre-dhawan, post-dhawan, I’m not bothered? personally I really like post-dhawan but it’s fine. the fam are like oo whose this aND IT DOESNT CONNECT THEY’RE THE MASTER BC MISSY IS A NORMAL NAME SO THEY DONT THINK- but then it comes to light and they’re like HYJKFGUIGFDSLUHGSUHL maybe they’re angry and confrontational, maybe they’re defensive and shook?? i dunno but missy and fam are the dream squad thanks-

same as last time, this has lots of typos and gramatical errors, shit punctuation and half the time i forgot to capatalize... BUT i lowkey have a big ass bandage around a finger on my left hand and its hard to type- (i was a numpty and cut a bit off my finger at work) SO YEAH I HAVE AN EXCUSE- ?? haha jokes im just a mess... but yeah I’ll fix this post up evenbtually...

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mediajist · 4 years

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Some of the Best Humour Quotes Ever

Looking for a bit of humour to brighten up your day? Here is a great selection of some of the best humorous quotes from some of the funniest people on the planet.

1. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”

—Mitch Hedberg

2. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.”

—President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove

3. “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.”

—Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls

4. “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.”

—David Letterman

5. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

—Jack Handey

6. Bob: “Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.”

Peter: “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.”

—Bob (Paul Wilson) and Peter (Ron Livingston), Office Space

7. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”

—Mark Twain

8. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”

—Will Ferrell

9. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

—Rita Rudner

10. “Ned, I would love to stand here and talk with you—but I’m not going to.”

—Phil Connors (Bill Murray), Groundhog Day

11. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”

—Erma Bombeck

12. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

—Phyllis Diller

13. “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”

—Ellen DeGeneres

14. “Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’”

—Anonymous

15. “Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.”

—Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld

16. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”

—Michael Scott (Steve Carrell), The Office

17. “I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”

—Anonymous

18. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”

—Rodney Dangerfield

19. “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”

—Les Dawson

20. “There’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.”

—Surgeon (Graham Chapman), Monty Python’s Flying Circus

21. “Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’”

—Steven Wright

22. Ted Striker: “Surely you can’t be serious.”

Dr. Rumack: “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley”

—Ted Striker (Robert Hays) and Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen), Airplane!

23.“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”

―Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

24. “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.”

—Joan Rivers

25. “Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.”

—Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear

26. “My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”

—Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler), The Waterboy

27. “I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.”

—Jimmy Kimmel

28. “Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.”

—Pete (Paul Rudd), Knocked Up

29. “Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes and a week’s worth are eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas.”

—Lessons from the Minivan

30. “I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.”

—Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons), The Big Bang Theory

31. “There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy.”

—Elise (Goldie Hawn), The First Wives Club

32. Usher: “Bride or groom?”

Wedding guest: “It should be perfectly obvious I’m neither!”

—Four Weddings and a Funeral

33. Stan Fields: “Describe your perfect date.”

Cheryl: “That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25. Because it’s not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.”

—Stan Fields (William Shatner) and Cheryl Frasier (Heather Burns), Miss Congeniality

34. “I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

—Jerry Seinfeld

35. Lucy: “There’s just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.”

Fred: “Your feet?”

—Lucy (Lucille Ball) and Fred Mertz (William Frawley), I Love Lucy

36. “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”

—Anonymous

37. Coach: “How’s a beer sound, Norm?”

Norm: “I don’t know, I usually finish before they get a word in.”

—Coach (Nicholas Colasanto) and Norm (George Wendt), Cheers

38. “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.”

—Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase), National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

39.“There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.”

—Dowager Countess Violet Crawley (Maggie Smith), Downton Abbey

40. “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.”

—Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey), Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

For more great humour, check out www.mediajist.com.

#best #humour #qoutes #brighten #funniest #people #great #planet #books #ebooks

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gayspock · 4 years

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doctor who...

u really give me my cringe blank cheque with this one, anon anyways limiting this to nuwho bc idk enough abt classic

Favorite character right now im on such a fucking martha kick its absurd i think its like. martha’s potential & how cool she is becomes more and more apparent to me ... it matures with me.... like a fine wine... & the injusstice she is served in the show, and in universe? we hate it; we HATE it. fills with me with an anger Second favorite character since my top faves rotate.... my two second faves right now are bill & donna. donna because she is purely just thriving and the writing serves her brilliantly. however my like for bill is also this mix of: you were done well & i enjoyed your place in the show; however you still have so much more potential; however you are also 100% my type & i had a genuine little crush on bill so we love her

Least favorite character the showrunners.

The character I’m most like this is specific. you know after the fucking monk trilogy in s10 and like its the comedown (probably the final scene? dont even remember) anyways bill & the doctor are like sth sth “does... no one remember this” and some uni student walks by and the doctor is like “WHY DO U THINK THIS STATUE IS THERE, HM?” and the student is like “uhhhh..d’afksdf idk?” WELL IM HER. Favorite pairing okay so. this rlly changes a lot . i dont think im committed to any who ship THAT much bc a lot of the canon ones suuuucccck & the noncanon ones... its too broad a show fo rme tolatch onto any fi that makes sense? the universe uis too ginormous & i know theres some good pairings to be had but its such a sea thttheyre all drops in the ocean but okAY OKAY OKAY

CURRENTLY. ccurrently. i want to stan ot3 jack/rose/doctor because my hearts been singing for s1 recently and i think jakc/doctor could be a powercouple but they need someone to round it out but... ehhehdiASOIdjhsf............ rose/doctor .... always makes me go a little uhhhuhuhuh hghd. because the writers just slapped ages onto ppl without thinking & s1 rose is like... a fucking Child which makes me go “ah. ah no. nonononon.” like she’s younger than ME & remembering tht im like mmmhmmm </3 no. & i do think its genuinely a case of shit idiot brain disease where the writers just put any old age on & then treated the characters a whole different age than what they are (rather than. the genuinely insidduous: this character is younger, lets really emphasise the age difference dynamic!) but its still. makes me too soured to rlly rlly commit even if the dynamic is good

.....oh i will say though. martha&thirteen makes my legs wobble a whole lot. that’s all <33

Least favorite pairing okay okay OKAY theres plenty here i could go into tbh i know there is but if we’re not touchingg on gross ones on principle that theyre a given..... and if we’re talking abt canon-only, like....

eleven/river. first of all. he looks like a baby and honest to god babbuy WHY is he kissing my milf JESUS CHRIST. they had no chemistry 0 chemistry an di will always RESENT moffat for literally all the river execution ... she was so COOL and then you strapped her onto the worst storyline, put her with the doctor she wiuld have the LEAST chemistry with, & on a more controversial and petty note he also attached her to my least fave companion by literal lineage (which again. worst storyo=0sejgdsg im SICK love<3). you have multiple seasons of eleven/river, that made em convincced i just hate doctor/river in general and hated river in general, but then i saw.... the husbands of river song.... & i realised no no no no eleven/river era posioned it all because twelve/river rocks and the dynamic is thriving and that one episode was literally better than all off eleven/river combined, all of s6, on such a magnitute that its even laughable to consider comparing.... the husbands of river song is like unironically one of my fave episodes just bc of how hard that dynamic went & thinking abt how we could have had THAT instead, if moffat had just saved her for later, makes me go APESHIT LIKE SIR. SIR. SIR [EDI9DFGPOJDFGPJODG (STENALGES HIM)

Favorite moment this is so genuinely hard because theres so many hardhitting dw moments. probably the credits when its fucvking over. hate doctor who Rating out of 10 0 this show fucking sucks

#anon #egg yells back

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wetalkinboutbooks · 5 years

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Dread Nation by Justina Ireland

Summary: Jane McKeene was born two days before the dead began to walk the battlefields of Gettysburg and Chancellorsville—derailing the War Between the States and changing America forever. In this new nation, safety for all depends on the work of a few, and laws like the Native and Negro Reeducation Act require certain children attend combat schools to learn to put down the dead. But there are also opportunities—and Jane is studying to become an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. It’s a chance for a better life for Negro girls like Jane. After all, not even being the daughter of a wealthy white Southern woman could save her from society’s expectations.

But that’s not a life Jane wants. Almost finished with her education at Miss Preston’s School of Combat in Baltimore, Jane is set on returning to her Kentucky home and doesn’t pay much mind to the politics of the eastern cities, with their talk of returning America to the glory of its days before the dead rose. But when families around Baltimore County begin to go missing, Jane is caught in the middle of a conspiracy, one that finds her in a desperate fight for her life against some powerful enemies. And the restless dead, it would seem, are the least of her problems. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:

→ Geena: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

→ Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: This is one of the first suggestions we got and HOO BOY IT WAS A GOOD ONE. The perfect mix of action, comedy, murder, and beating up racists.... exactly what we need in a book.

~Spoiler-full discussion below~

The Good:

→ Jane

Geena: I don’t think I’ve read a book where the protagonist just has so much raw power like… at the risk of sounding like I’m from 2012.. But like… my mind was totally blown. We meet Jane during a training exercise at Miss Preston’s zombie slaughtering school where we learn about all the nasty details that lead to the school’s creation. SO ESSENTIALLY, following the civil war (which ended prematurely bc u kno…. zombies) slavery is “abolished” and instead the whites decided it’d be better to set up schools to train black and native people to kill zombies for them 🙄 AND that’s where we meet Jane, in the middle of a training exercise. We also learn that she’s the daughter of one of the more wealthy white women in the area which was very scandalous given the u kno.. R a c i s m… and that even her mother’s status couldn’t keep her from being sent to the school. Jane also recounts moments from her childhood such as almost being killed when she was born… and she does it so nonchalantly that I fucking died dude.

Kae: Nobody: …..

Jane: Yeah my momma tried to drown me. She doesn’t think I remember but I do… ANYWAY.

Geena: LMAOOOOOOO YEA I FUCKING LOST IT LIKE DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN LIKE SHE IS SO RAW… BUT YEA, also Justina Ireland does this cool thing where she has excerpts from the letters Jane sends her mother which outline events that are VERY different from what actually happens in the chapter, and fuck I loved that sm. Jane is I think one of the girls that can read at the school and she’s got a liking for the science behind the biology of zombies but she gets in trouble cONSTANTLY because she’s too cool for Miss Preston’s school… ok jk no she gets into trouble because she always manages to piss off that one racist ass bitch, Miss Anderson. In the first few chapters we learn that Jane is smart, strong, and a total babe even though she doesn’t think so :(.

I loved how Jane was written to be slightly hot-headed but not like bullheaded, like she would get angry real quick but she’d know when to act on her urges to beat the shit out of people. And I guess this stems from her childhood like…. SHE MURDERS HER DAD IN COLD BLOOD BC HE TRIED TO CHOKE THE LIFE OUTTA HER and also to preserve her mom’s secret which was that she was a white-passing black woman. And bc her dad was a racist white man Jane knew that wouldn’t bode well for anyone…. She did all this when she was like eight so like…. WILD (It’s what he deserved tho) but yea ever since then Jane’s been playing the game like a pro. She’s a pro zombie slayer that doesn’t take shit from ANYONE even when it lands her in trouble, and she cares a lot for the people around her even though she might pretend that she’s only out to get back to her mom. AND I LOVE HER for everything she does, but FUCK SHE WENT THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN THIS BOOK THAT IT HURT TO READ. ALSO WE FIND OUT THAT SHE’S BI…. WE STAN A BISEXUAL BADASS

→ Katherine

Kae: Geena summed up, Jane very well! Jane is smart (and could read so her teachers were pissed), strong, and just an all around badass. I really love her. She deserves the world.

Well, moving on to Katherine. Katherine is another student at Miss. Prestons school and she and Jane don’t get along well. Kate, as Jane calls her, which Katherine HATES, because she likes to be called by her full name. She is white passing with very light skin and blue eyes. She has blonde, loose curly hair and is described as absolutely gorgeous. Jane is a little jealous of her and hates admitting it. But she’s like “She’s gorgeous, it is what it is… But she’s from Virgina so ugh.” Katherine is right up to par with Jane’s zombie slaying skills and is the top of her class. Katherine is dainty, bougie, and a total rule follower. She’s into fashion and trying to find a good job protecting white folks from zombies when she graduates Miss. Prestons. She thinks of Jane as a little unruly and wild. But she tries her damndest to be respectful to Jane, even if they can’t stand each other.

So, moving forward a bit. Kate is kind of nosey so she’s always catching Jane doing some shit she isn’t supposed to be doing… like having books smuggled to her by a boy named Red Jack. She also overhears Jane and Jack discussing how his sister went missing and he needs help to find her. So, she self invites and tags along later that night. In the mean time, Jane and Kate have a lecture they need to attend to. When they get there, they realize that there is going to be a demonstration of proof that a “Shambler Cure” actually works. Shamblers are zombies. So this professor has a cage of three zombies and has some poor, black man risk himself and get bit. He has supposedly already been injected with the cure. Jane was like “this shit fake… He boutta die.” And Jane tries to interrupt, but she is quickly hushed. The antidote or cure or whatever DOESN’T work and the dude turns into a zombie. Jane shoots him down, then the other zombies get loose and now everyone is in a panic. Jane and Katherine take them down and save the day. A few weeks later, that are invited to the mayors house to “protect” it. (They really were only asked just so they could show up and be seen…) Someone turns into a Shambler, Jane takes them down, then that’s settled. So now they’ve saved the day TWICE.

Red Jack has somehow SNUCK IN to the damn mayors house, so him and Jane do some snooping. They get caught. Then by default, Katherine gets in trouble. Well, Katherine gets in trouble because she is too pretty and none of the white women want her around because they think their husbands or whoever will start to be like👀 and the women get jealous. Katherine was out of a job before it even started because she’s just too damn gorgeous. So Kate, Jane, and Red Jack get sent off to the WILD WILD WEST BAYBEEE. But it actually sucks. Let’s talk about Red Jack before we get into that though.

Geena: NGL KATE’S THE TYPE OF GIRL I WOULD’VE ABSOLUTELY HATED TOO IF I WAS JANE BUT!!!!! I love how we get to see the friendship develop between the two as they both learn about each other’s past and that maybe they CAN be friends. Also, Kate is ace and wants to travel the world which I RESPECT… but oh yea I was gonna say Jane and Kate are the true enemies to best friends trope. ALSO HER BACKSTORY IS SAD BRUH LIKE everyone looking down on her bc she’s from virginia smh……… okay but seriously the fact that Kate was constantly trying so hard to compensate for the fact that she came from a brothel that she became Miss Perfect (OR AT LEAST that’s what we learn from Jane’s perspective and as @zemenipearls pointed out Jane isn’t a reliable narrator so Kate’s backstory is kinda shady at this point but that’s what we think it is)

→ Red Jack

Kae: Let’s talk about Red Jack! Jackson Keats, aka Red Jack is Jane's ex boyfriend. He got the name “Red Jack” because he’s a redbone. He’s described with light brown skin and blue eyes. He also has a gold tooth and short curly hair with hints of auburn. He’s smart and can scheme his ass off and is known for taking big risks. He also smuggles Jane books when she ask and send letters out to her mother for her. It’s also noted that he cannot read. He deals in dirty business, mostly scamming people out of money. But the kid has to make a living! I like him. Jack has a little sister named Lilly who is white passing. So he sent her with a nice white family who would let her blend in with them so she could avoid being sent off to a school like Miss. Prestons. Jack and Jane, despite them being exes, are decent friends I think. Jane hates to admit it, but she still likes Jack (even though he gets on her nerves).

At a certain point, Jack’s little sister, along with the family she is staying with, completely disappear. Their house in still in tact, but they aren’t there. He’s worried because his sister would’ve sent word if she knew they were leaving. But he hadn’t heard a thing from her, and went to Jane. So Jane, Jack, and Kate end up at the Spencers’ house to look for clues. They can’t find anything, but they DO overhear Miss. Anderson and two other men say that they needed to clean the house out and remove all of their belongings.

Later, when we get to the mayor’s dinner party that was previously mentioned, Jack and Jane run into each other and go snooping around the governor's office. There, Miss. Anderson is waiting for them and they are CAUGHT. She drags them to the Mayor’s basement where he is ready to send them off to a town called, Summerland, that is way out west. It’s a town where he is trying to uphold white supremecy and slavery.There, he will make sure that anyone who is black, is treated as if they are still slaves. A man named Mr. Redfern, a Native man, escorts them out West. They are given dulled down weapons to protect the town from Shamblers, and well, this is just no good. When Jack and the crew arrive in Summerland, he punches the shit out of Redfern and tries to make a run for it. He is then tackled, jailed, and that’s the last we see of him… for a while.

Geena: holy shit Kae litcherally outlined everything about Red Jack PERFECTLY. He’s how you would say a rascal… a cute rascal (Jane would agree).

Kae: Lmao Jane’s got taste. I gotta give her that. BAD BOYZ are my thing lowkey

Geena: oKAY but SEE RED JACK IS A BAD BOI WITH A GOOD HEART. I mean yeh he and Jane had a “messy breakup” but they were still friends and he smuggled out letters for her mom and brought her books, and she helped him around with his ~business~ however shady it was. But I also liked how he was an idiot, I mean in the sense that UNLIKE JANE who knows how to control her anger and use it in the future, Jack just pops off like how Kae mentioned him decking Mr. Redfern. Jane thought about it but also thought ahead and realized she wouldn’t get far doing that. Red Jack tho… Boy thought he could outrun like 3 grown men 😭 AND WHEN THE READER AND JANE WERE LED TO BELIEVE THAT HE’D DIED?? BRO??? I WAS LIKE…. HOW U GONNA MAKE THIS CHARACTER A CHARMING LIL SHIT AND THEN KILL HIM ALMOST RIGHT AWAY…. BUT then when he came back I WAS THROWN.

Time to project BUT I love characters like Red Jack you know they’re shady and like to play everything off as a joke but when they get serious… they get serious. And I wonder what role he’s going to play in the second book, because all he cares about in his life is his family aka Lily right… Would he accompany Kate and Jane to save her momma when it would mean leaving Lily with people he probably can’t fully trust? Also, how did Jane and Red Jack even meet? I think it’d be cool to see where he came from, and what happened to the rest of his family and that’s another reason why I can’t wait till book 2!

The Bad:

→ Miss. Preston and Miss Anderson

Geena: Man, we don’t even meet Miss Preston that long in the book like she has a few scenes here and there but god she is the fucking worst! Who runs a school and houses young black women and gives them a refined education with training with specialized weapons.. Only to ship them to a town where slavery is making a comeback?? And pretending like you care about them?? Disgusting… We all assume that Miss Preston is innocent and is busy running her school until the dinner that Kae has mentioned above where we find out that she’s in cahoots with the Mayor and has been supplying him girls from her school for as long as he has needed them… how “white allies” be sometimes… I really hope… from the bottom of my heart that she was devoured by a shambler bc it’s the only fate that she deserves you know… And then we have the hoe ass Miss Anderson who didn’t even try to hide her contempt of Jane and doted on Katherine → This we realize later into the book is solely because of how white-passing Katherine was and because Miss Anderson is a big ol’ racist who uses slurs like it’s nobody's business.

Now, I realize that Ireland was trying to outline the different types of racists you come across in life. There’s those that pretend to be your friend and support you up front but behind your back they won’t hesitate to fuck you over (aka Miss Preston), like Miss Preston does help out Jane initially when she’s unfairly tested by Miss Anderson, but Preston also is the one to support sending Jane to Summerland so like….. and also we have your standard brand of racist aka Miss Anderson that doesn’t even try to hide how antiblack and dehumanizing she is because she straight up doesn’t care and knows that Jane or anybody else can do shit about it.

→ Mr. Redfern

Kae: Okay, so now we’ve got Mr. Redfern. Mr. Redfern is a tall, handsome, Native American man who is always scowling at Jane. He doesn’t like her and she isn’t sure why… That is, until our girl asks him. He thinks she is wasting her talents when she sneaks out and kills shamblers in the night.

Geena: OKAY WAIT WAIT WAIT THIS BRINGS UP THE QUESTION.. HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN SPYING ON HER

Kae: OHHHH SHIT YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. YOOO. HE HAD TO HAVE BEEN WATCHING HER FOR MONTHS.

Geena: I FEEL LIKE…. THERE’S SOMETHING WE’RE MISSING BUT IDK WHAT

Kae: THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BEING A SPEED READER. I BE MISSIN’ SHIT. Whew. Okay, so as you can see, we’ve just come to a sudden realization! Mr. Redfern is a sneaky son of a gun.

But uhh, he mentions that he was taken from his tribe and sent off to one of the “Indian Shambler Schools” where he was given a new identity, etc. This is also basically what happened to Native Children back in those days, in order to erase their heritage and their entire selves. This was how they forced people to assimilate. They were sent to Indian Industrial Schools.

Mr. Redfern is in cahoots with the Mayor (by force) and is the one to basically help kidnap Jackson, Jane, and Katherine. He stuffs them on a train for a week and at the end of their trip, they are out west. We don’t see him again after this. But later, we find out that he made Jackson a deal and sent him to a town not too far from Summerland to do “business”. Thus, when Jack returns to Summerland to steal ammunition for said town, he runs into Jane and Katherine and tells them Red Jack helped him out.

ALTHOUGHHHH, REDFERN HELPED JACKSON, I DON’T LIKE HIM. HE WAS UNNECESSARILY MEAN TO JANE AND KIDNAPPED THE CREW AND THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Geena: Yess Mr. Redfern, the man we thought would be an ally but turned out to be the opposite. Once again this mimics history I suppose because there were instances of indigenous people aiding the whites when it came to slavery and I suppose Ireland was trying to write that but she also makes it writes that while he is helping them he doesn’t seem too proud of it. But the matter of the fact is, he’s still helping enforce the white man’s rules. Though I do hope with the turn of the second book Mr. Redfern leaves that shit behind and decides to fully switch sides, aka let the whites to their own dirty work and help the people with a real cause.

ALSO, I keep talking about the second book but I really hope we meet more indigenous characters that aren’t Mr. Redfern you know, but those that aren’t under the thumb of a white person :( ALTHOUGH, I love how Ireland has the excerpt at the end where it mentions the residential schools in-depth and she encourages readers to research more of it which leads me to believe that we’ll be hearing more of them coming the next book as well.

Kae: Just one more small part. I was like, completely convinced that those looks Redfern were shooting at Jane was because he thought she was cute. That is until Jane was like “alright, he CLEARLY doesn’t like me” and I was like oh… I totally misread those signals and I’m an idiot. BUT WHATEVER IT’s FINE. I do, however, think he will turn around. I don’t think he’s like, inherently bad. He’s just forced to do bad shit. Everyone is trying to survive in this world and I’m NOT giving him an excuse, but like, I get it. Ya feel me?

Geena: oKAY BUT KAE I TOO THOUGHT HE WAS INTO HER SO THAT MAKES US BOTH BOOBOO THE FOOL. AND YEA, it comes down to survival in a world where you’re not even considered human BUT that doesn’t excuse any actions.

Kae: .jpg “we irritating” meme

Geena: Is it even our review if we don’t have at least one (1) meme reference

The Ugly:

→ Every single white person (minus Mr. Gideon)

Geena: So I really enjoyed this book but Justina Ireland didn’t pull any punches when it came down to the true and dark details of the time period she was writing. She captures the essence of white folks, even during an apocalypse they find the time to push their white supremacy and tread on the backs of the black and indigenous people. I was grinding my teeth for a majority of the book, the way people would talk down to all the black characters and simply refer to them as though they weren’t human.

Mayor Carr, the Sheriff, and the Priest are the faces of white supremacy that think it’s in their destiny to put down bipoc and use them as slaves (though they won’t call it that) and fuck dude… Mayor Carr is like Miss Preston, pretends to be an ally and is using the people he pretends to support as fodder for his white supremacist wasteland. Even Jane mentions that he’s no better than other white men but people pretend he’s the best politician they have.

The Sheriff doesn’t even disguise his racism, he’s your typical ‘slavery wasn’t that bad’ assfuck and the way he treats Katherine bc he has an ugly crush on her thinking she’s white is disgusting bc you know if he knew that she’s simply white-passing he’d probably murder her in cold blood… and when he finds out, the exact thing Jane was afraid would happen to her mother almost happens to Katherine (she almost dies at the hand of the Sheriff’s fugly ass)....and fuck Katherine handled it so well even though she was very much uncomfortable the whole time. And the way Jane murdered him?? With no remorse… I fucking loved that, IDK if Justina Ireland was trying to go for a Jane is unhinged vibe (bc that’s how Katherine reacted to it) but I was like fuck yea girl shoot him a few times more for good measure.

The Priest is the biggest shit of them all like I cannot even begin to…… Every time I think of his wrinkly ass my blood pressure rises three levels because holy fuck. He preaches that he’s a holy man and that he’s only carrying out the orders of God and so on, and it’s DIGOSTENG the way he uses the bible as a weapon to put down the black and indigenous folk around Summerland. He blames them for how they look and says it’s their duty to “serve their white superiors” as redemption so that they may get a place in heaven 🙄🙄🙄🙄 This reminds me of what Kae had mentioned before about the story of Nate Turner who knew how to read so the plantation owners would make him read a fucked-up version of the bible to the others and like….. White people really took a faith founded by a brown man and turned it into a weapon for their white supremacy it’s disgusting. But what was really sad was that there are still people to this day like the Priest that have pretty hefty roles in churches and so on… spewing their racist rhetoric and god I can’t even fucking deal, every time he and Jane interacted I just wanted her to snap his neck in half and call it a day…. Like what was his old ass gonna do? Fart?

Kae: Sweet! So Geena pretty much covered everything. The Sheriff is a whole ass bitch and he has a bunch of lackeys doing his dirty work while he parades around Summerland and berates anyone who is of colour. Basically, he has black people shipped out to the West so they can sacrifice themselves to defend Summerlands inhabitants with faulty weaponry and experiments. When Jane brings up that she needs better weapons so she can do her job, she’s slapped for it and told to deal with it. The black people and everyone else who is considered of low status, are treated horribly. They’re all shoved in a hot attic with thin, dirty blankets to sleep on the floor. They are locked in their rooms at night and forbidden to leave until it is time for them to work again. They all also barely have enough to eat, so essentially, they are starving. Jane and her new companions are overworked, underfed, and are only able to bathe once a week. It’s truly barbaric. The Sheriff wants to make sure they know they are “below” white people and were only created to serve them. It’s disgusting and I wanted to kill the man myself. It was infuriating reading how horrible they were treated and all of the slurs they were called. Slurs I forgot even existed.

The Sheriff catches Jane one night after she had snuck out, and beats her in front of the whole town. He ties her to a pole, strips her shirt off, and whips her. I actually had to skip that part because I couldn’t bare to read it. It was too much and I just couldn’t do it. I’ve seen enough of it. Jane, even though she is inches away from death, is saved by Katherine speaking out against it. Since the Sheriff has a crush on her, he stops, and allows Jane to join her in the safe part of Summerland to be her servant. I usually don’t like reading books about my people being so poorly treated, but Jane shot his ass point blank when she had the opportunity and I reveled in that. I love to see us fight back!

As for the Priest, he is the Sheriff’s father so he helps influence the bullshit that goes on in town. It is also heavily implied that underestimating the Priest is not the best decision. He apparently beat someone to death so that’s fuckin wild, considering how much of an old racist fuck he is. ANYWAY, he gives sermons every night on how “the Negro” was meant to serve and how they are to “stay in their place” and I cringed through the whole thing. It was horrible. Almost no one in the town likes the Sheriff or the Priest. The whore’s, the “slaves”, and Mr. Gideon (the Mayor's son), were all forced to be in Summerland and they hate it and the two bastards in charge. This drives them to conduct a plan to kill them both so they can escape. The plan was to have Katherine pretend to be white, have the Sherif fall in love with her, then Jane takes him out of the picture. But things didn’t go as planned so it took a few extra steps of danger BUT they made it and scarcely avoided a big zombie horde, and made it out.

Geena: OH YEA MR. GIDEON….. He’s supposed to be this scientist guy with a limp which we find out he does on purpose, and he KNOWS that Katherine is white-passing but he doesn’t say shit bc unlike the rest of the white men there he isn’t racist and he’s trying to figure out a way out of the town… Also, this man-made an electricity grid run off of zombies and that was so fucking funny to me for no reason other than it reminded me of a scene from a sitcom when Jane walked in on the contraption. ALSO, JANE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A THING FOR MR. GIDEON AND IT MAY OR MAY NOT BE RECIPROCATED? LIKE It’s funny reading Jane’s attraction to him like “he’s nerdy lookin… but in a cute way” but am I here for it?? Undecided...

Conclusion

Kae: So in conclusion, this book was really good. I enjoyed reading this AU of a zombfied civil war. It was interesting to see how things played out. I thought the world-building was pretty cool and I like how the South was called “The lost states” because they’d been lost to zombies. They also LOST THE WAR LMAOOO BITCHASSES. Anywaaaaay, I think Jane is such a strong, beautifully written character. She’s hotheaded, but she isn’t impulsive. She’s brave and she knows when to strike. She is smart, cunning, and a joy to be around. If she were real, I’d absolutely be her friend. She’s my kind of person. She keeps it real and I like that. Katherine is kind of complex and I can’t wait to find out more about her. She hides behind this proper, boujie demeanor, but I think a lot of it is a facade. I like how though Katherine is white-passing, she NEVER forgets or dismisses that she is black. She knows who she is and she hated pretending to be white. As for Jackson! He's impulsive, suave motherfucker and I hope we see more of him too! I think he’s going to have a bigger role to play in the next book and I’m ready to see what it’ll be. I can’t wait to find out what is in store for these characters because they are all beautifully written and their friendships are puuuure baybeeee.

Geena: GIRL YOU SUMMED UP ALL THE CHARACTERS REALLY WELL!!! You got everything that I loved about Jane, she’d be my idol irl… and Katherine is a really complex character and I’m excited to see how her story unfolds in the next book. SPEAKING OF WHICH…. THE COVER FOR THAT DROPPED AND O MY GOD…….. KATE AND JANE LOOK LIKE ABSOLUTE BABES and I cAN’T WAIT TO SEE THEM FUCK SHIT UP!

#Dread Nation #Justina Ireland #book review #booklr #dread nation review #wetalkinboutbooks #bookish #bookblr #book blogger #book blogging #books #reading

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jazon-todd · 4 years

Text

some (mostly negative sorry lol) thoughts

it’s obvious that these movies were made separately with no real plan on where the story should go once they cooked up the idea to start the trilogy back up again.

and I don’t think it’s strictly rian johnson’s fault, this falls squarely on disney for not making this completely avoidable. rian had to try and work with what JJ left him, and JJ had to turn around and try to work with what rian left him. like if you’re going to have different directors, at least use the same writers. they clearly didn’t

It’s like…. way too much happened for one movie, while at the same time nothing actually happened at all. We’re back to the same exact point we were at at the end of return of the jedi, just this time all the skywalkers are dead

the first ten minutes I’m pretty sure actually gave me whiplash. going from a planet to another planet to another planet under 2.5 seconds with maybe 3 sentences of dialogue was migraine-inducing

palpatine looked like a fucking demon out of hell. my dad kept whispering DEW IT under his breath and I was losing it

he’s literally not explained at all, kylo knows he’s there, Rey knows he’s there, the FO and resistance know he’s there… and we’re just supposed to accept it lmao. apparently, he’s been there this whole time but now is when everyone starts to care

palpatine also fucks, apparently

and like I get that this whole movie is about ~hope~ or whatever but it’s honestly just like this man railing a family for 3 generations and they all die before they’re free of him lmao

I really hate how luke and leia both knew rey was a palpatine all this time and still treated her like family anyway when they sent their on child and nephew away because he was “too much like vader” like what

the asian was shit all over once again, I literally do not trust white men with us but whatever

fight scenes were cool but way too quick, better than any we’ve had before in this trilogy. nothing has yet to touch duel of the fates or battle of the heroes though, rip r*ylo but obi wan, anakin, darth maul and qui gon are different

pacing was v weird

I’m really annoyed with how rey snapped at finn when all he wanted was to help her and didn’t tell him who she really was or what she was going through. they made her isolate herself from her friends and it was really ugly

they tried shoving what should have been three full-length movies into one

I guess JJ saying “we explain finn’s background and his family!!!” is just him meeting jannah and being like “oh we’re both ex stormtroopers? cool!” like ok, I was expecting actual backstory but okay

Not sure how rey and ben BOTH somehow got the power to heal someone

oh hey han

PACING WAS SO FUCKING WEIRD

this movie was clearly trying to do a lot of over-corrections from the last jedi instead of… letting it be. which just goes to show that disney shot itself in its trillion dollar foot because they for some reason tried going into a trilogy with different directors and writers for every movie

great to see the knights of ren doing jack shit except get killed after 5 minutes total of screen time, literally what was the point of any of that. they sucked at their job

again, palpatine was great. didn’t know if we needed him for another trilogy, though. felt like we were beating a dead horse at this point. like, rey or kylo could have walked over and pulled the life support and he’d die in like a second

you could tell the last act was supposed to be emotional, but it moved so fast nothing resonated

palpatine is just fucking stupid, like just stop shooting the lightning and he would have won, but whatever

no offense to kylo but idk how the weakest skywalker (she says subjectively) got the power to literally resurrect someone when anakin couldn’t even do it but I digress. it’s clearly that ~our true love can save us~ trope

also speaking of anakin wasn’t ANYWHERE in this movie other than a quiet sentence even though he’s still the fucking chosen one, 0/10 automatically

like they had him say “bring back the balance as I have” LIKE OK IF THE BALANCE WAS TRULY BACK WHY IS THIS EVIL MAN STILL ALIVE HELLO I truly think the worst part of the trilogy is making anakin fail at what he was supposed to do

nice to know finn is force-sensitive FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE THE MOVIE ENDS AND WE NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN

actually cried like a little BITCH when ben saw that rey was dead and was holding her body I gtg

the reylo kiss was cute I guess, rey looked really happy

like I always knew and said he would die……… but I felt like he deserved to live after what he did. idk tho. his death didn’t sit well with me the way vader’s, or luke’s, or leia’s did.

PACING WAS SO FUCKINGGGGGG WEIRDDDDDDD like when ben died and rey was looking down at him my theater was all upset and then it just switched right to everyone celebrating rather than rey mourning for like more than a second and everyone was literally like wait what

didn’t really like the ending all that much but rey also never really did much for me, so sorry rey stans

I still can’t believe she buried anakin’s lightsaber, the man who hates sand more than anything else in the entire world, on the planet he was enslaved on. like, I’m so lost on why these little details were just forgotten about.

not sure how I feel about rey taking on the skywalker name, like on the surface it’s pretty cool because it’s becoming more of a group name (like the new “jedi” title), but I also don’t like how much they were talking about how anyone can be powerful no matter where you come from, just to turn around and make her both a palpatine and a skywalker anyway. idk, more on that later

also not sure how I feel about her starting and ending the trilogy alone lmao but she clearly found her place (even though she’s literally fucking alone) so I guess it works out

liked her saber but idk the mechanisms behind it bc I thought they needed a certain metal to contain the kyber crystal, but that would actually require jj to refer to source material and we know he doesn’t look past the movies so

idk I’m feeling pretty cynical bc endgame sucked ass and GOT sucked ass and so I guess star wars had to suck ass to complete the shitty conclusion trifecta

all in all, it’s a decent movie, I guess, the more I sit on it. there’s not that many issues I have even though above may seem like a lot, but….

as much as I love finn and rose and poe and what they have given me over the years……. disney should have left star wars be in regards to the trilogy. literally nothing is different from the return of the jedi to now, just that all the skywalkers are now dead and anakin/darth vader died for literally no reason but whatever

#tros spoilers #star wars spoilers #star wars

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littlemonstersau-blog · 5 years

Text

The Feels Awaken Part 1: Return of the Memori

Written by @jkl-fff, illustrated by me

PART I (you are here) - PART II

———————————————————————————————–

The lone wolf sat and watched, and that was an excellent development; the creature was learning to wait patiently, even though it was a wild, apex predator and doubtlessly could have ripped the dead squirrel from the hands of a teenage boy with ease (under normal circumstances, at least). Of course, since Bill was only wearing the clone of a teenage boy, he probably had an advantage in training the lone wolf. It could sense him—the real him—inside the clonesuit, and therefore was wary of making any aggressive moves … Animals always were around Demons, unlike most humans. Another instance when instinct trumped intellect …

So, instead, the lone wolf sat and watched patiently while Bill swung the dead squirrel around by its tail. Sat and waited for Bill’s conversational monologue to end.

“You’re prob’ly wondering why I haven’t eaten your soul like I did Chatterface McBurymynuts right here. And why I’ve taken to feeding you the soulless carcasses of my victims in person instead of just leaving them out for you. Well, I got three reasons. One: I like your aesthetic; you’re nearly all triangles in shape—really angular all over your body—and I really dig that. You’re relatably triangular, and I wanna see more of that in the world. Two: you’re endangered; if I let you live, there will be more wolves (so more angular creatures) in the world … and also more werewolves, which would be weird and awesome. And three …” Here, with a grin, Bill tossed the dead squirrel high and watched as the lone wolf snatched it out of the air. “Yeah, that’s right, wolf it down—heh heh! The third reason is, I’m gonna partially domesticate you and train you to pull me around in a sweet-ass chariot! Doesn’t that sound rad?!”

Having swallowed the last of the squirrel, the lone wolf turned and padded away into the woods.

“Don’t worry, we’ll talk more about how awesome my idea is later!” Bill called after him. “Just think a bit about what a fair exchange it would be! Actually, it’s a great deal for you! Tasty treats just for letting me occasionally ride you into battle like a chaotic, Norse deity! We can workshop ideas about the chariot’s design next time!”

On a nearby branch, a bird chirped.

“No, I think the wolf’s gonna seriously consider my offer,” Bill replied optimistically. “This is all just part of the deal-making game, which you’d understand if you weren’t a dumbass robin.”

The bird chirped again, then flew away.

“… Welp, that killed some time. Guess I’d better go back to the Shack and find some other activity to pass away the seemingly endless seconds until I get to skyelp with my Dipper …”

While he was tromping back through the woods, however, Bill was distracted by an unusual, yet strangely familiar sound. Juddering and throaty, then sharp and quick, then juddering and throaty again. Repetitive, too, though intermingled with a soft noise almost like keening or … no, exactly like whimpering. Then it clicked for Bill, even though he hadn’t heard that sound in over thirty years. It was the sound of a grown man sobbing. And not just any man, either, but Ford.

Softly, Bill crept towards him, eventually looking through bushes to the stump of a felled tree. Ford sat on it, hunched over and alone, crying as though he couldn’t hold back his own tears … as though he were too weary to hold them back anymore … That was probably why he’d come all the way out here in the woods, Bill suspected, where no one could see his moment of emotional vulnerability. Or so he had believed, at any rate, not knowing Bill was out here …

On Ford’s lap was an open book with brightly—even garishly—colored pages. One of the many scrapbooks Mabel had made. In between bouts of sobs, he slowly turned the pages and murmured things like, “Can’t believe she came b-back with a whole handful of it … So t-tough, even though always so sweet …” and “Terrified, but he f-faced it down anyway … for me … And I was s-so … so proud …” and “Heh! That f-fashion show she put together for Pacifica, made us all t-take part in … Can’t remember when I laughed so h-hard …” and “Oh, here’s that Jack o’Mellon he carved like the Gremloblin … from m-memory … So t-talented … And then they went trick-or-treating together both as the protagonist from that one game series—Myth of Hilda, or something like that?—Moses, it was adorable …” to himself. With each turn of a page, he was reminiscing about something different from the past summers: family game nights, hikes and fishing, short roadtrips, and on and on and on … Ford himself summed it up succinctly when he finally closed the scrapbook, buried his face in his hands, and whimpered, “Damn, I m-miss those kids!”

For a moment, a spark of bitter satisfaction flared up in Bill (“Good. Let that asshole suffer.”). And yet, it was soon doused by empathetic pity and sorrow (“I feel the same, though—we all feel the same … We all miss those kids …”). Then came a splash of feeling surprised, because of all the pity and sorrow; they were still such strange emotions for him as to be almost foreign. Following that, a bit of meta-emotional introspection at realizing he was feeling about feelings. Fortunately, before Bill could become too confused and horrified by the idea that he had become so human as to have feelings about having feelings, Ford stood and slowly trudged back home. After a safe amount of time had elapsed, Bill did the same.

Inside the Shack, sitting on the card table in the living room, was the scrapbook (no doubt left there by Ford on his way down to his lab). Along with several more of them. Picking up the most recent one, Bill began to flip slowly through its colorful pages filled with photos, stickers, notes, and miscellaneous memorabilia.

And as he did, he began to flip slowly through his own memories …

****

Terrified screams as he burst forth from his prison of a stone statue, rose up over them out of his shell (“Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me!”), and tried to … tried to …

Bill shuddered to think of what he had almost done—what he surely would have done, if he had had enough power at the time. “Thank all the Gods that ever were or will be that that failed …” he muttered to himself.

Making little overtures of friendship—or at least not-malice—to Mabel until he got her to listen to his spiel about wanting to understand how he lost to them and to change and blah blah blah. Ford’s utter disbelief that the others could be so easily suckered. Entering a clone that first time and devouring that delicious little bit of soul in it (“Yum! Tastes just like mangoes and fear!”).

“They shouldn’t have. Ford was right that I was plotting their doom back then … Not anymore, but they all took a huge and stupid gamble, and just happened to get lucky … We all did …”

Steel slicing through paper and ink, dumping the scraps of bodies left, right, and center and relishing the screams of surprise (“Hehehehehe! What, you didn’t like my joke? You wanna … piece of me? Hahaha! Well, take your pick, there are plenty of pieces of me there on the floor!”). Sharpening his teeth to fine points to chomp at people. Gouging out his own eye. So much edge and shock at play, cold and hot at the same time, hilarious ticklings of pain.

“Such a waste of clonesuits,” Bill sighed. “And … all for the sake of just shocking them? Taking advantage of their love of Dipper? Stupid—can’t believe I thought that was funny at the time … So much time wasted during those first few weeks of the summer. Don’t wanna remember that, not anymore … wanna remember something else, something happier …”

Jokes so bad they made everyone groan, which made everyone laugh. Fireworks made of lasers. Taking part in an impromptu fashion show for the newest line of summer sweaters. Watermelons carved into jolly grotesqueries, lit with candles, and eventually tossed from the roof to splat. Making muffins with apple and cinnamon. Uncontrollable laughter at a rock shaped like a dong and after arcs of water accidentally melted another clonesuit. Wonderous eyes aglow with uncontainable excitement and the soft light of an everadiant crystal. Warmth of a shared blanket and the fun betrayal of an ambush of tickling underneath them. Kisses snuck around corners, behind doors, within shadows, inside the safety of a Nice Place.

“Heh …” Bill couldn’t help but smile to himself. “Even when I start out with all the others, too, it always comes back to him … But maybe I should focus more, not just look at the flashes and snapshots of memory? Delve in deeper to some memories? After all, what’s the point of perfect recall if I hardly ever use it? But, um …” Looking around the currently empty (though perhaps not for long) living room, he closed the scrapbooks and stood up. “Maybe up in the attic, where there’s a little more privacy …”

****

It was one specific memory that detoured his chain of thoughts, as memories tend to do.

Dipper. Sitting on a couch with Ford standing behind him, reaching over the couch to him. Flushed with simple happiness as Ford tousled his hair and praised his monster hunting work from that day. “Good boy, m’work! Er, I mean, good work, m’boy!” he had said, making Dipper smile so big and bright that the room had practically glowed with it. Bill’s insides certainly had.

Déjà vu, though, he had felt it then, too, remembering it. Almost exactly déjà vu … So Bill decided to follow the tangential thread of it now.

A young Ford, seventeen or eighteen, maybe—not yet out of high school. Sitting on the couch of his childhood home. A young Stan standing behind him, reaching over the couch to him.

“Oh, yeah … That’s why it’s so familiar; I watched it in Sixer’s memory and then more or less reenacted it for him. With him. Whatever, twice. Back when we were still working together, back when we were still friends …”

A young Ford flushed with simple happiness as Stan tousled his hair and praised his shipbuilding from that day. “You’re such a good cabin boy! Good work, me ol’ cabin boy!” he had said, making Ford smile so big and bright that—here the déjà vu ended and became simple memory— (“Pff! Why am I the cabin boy?” “Duh. ‘cause I’m the captain!” “Why do you get to be captain?” “Heh. ‘cause I can do this!”) Stan had swung over the top of the couch to drape himself across Ford. Pinning Ford down, while both brothers trashtalked and giggled and squirmed … and then gradually began to kiss …

“Was this the first time Sixer and me …? Ha! Yeah, it totally was! The very first time I set Sixer’s mindscape stage and played a part for him to work out some of his many, many issues. First of many … How’d it go, anyway? How’d we even get to this point? Need to rewind …”

Bill blinked, and the scene formed. Ford’s mindscape as it once had been: an endless field of strange but beautiful flower blossoms stretched to the horizon in every direction, with gleaming structures like the lovechildren of marble-cut temples and glass-and-steel skyscrapers rising in the distance-yet-closeness-of-thought like the aspirations of some new deity of science-fiction-becoming-science-fact, bold and untainted by the conformist conventions of old; swirling slowly overhead, so close one could have climbed up and touched, was a vault of stars, galaxies, quasars far larger than they appeared from earth and blazing so brightly that the field below them was as illuminated as a comfortable reading room; stairways made of books and journals ascended high to viewing platforms made of solid theories, equations, and blueprints all like shining neon signs.

Bill blinked again, and he saw himself chattering away about whatever had been their project. There was Ford, a late-twenties man and cutting-edge weirdologist in a weatherworn trenchcoat. Unusually subdued that day, though … Normally nigh manic with energy and enthusiasm, overflowing with ideas and theories and observations and cornball jokes to contribute to or even to drive the conversation … but not that day … No, that day, he barely listened to Bill or looked at the images and organizing visual aids Bill had mentally conjured for their brainstorm together. And when Bill turned to see why, he found Ford’s back was to him as he gazed away out across a sentimentally altered portion of the mindscape: salty sand strewn with bits of trash at the edge of a turbulent sea, all under clouds that were dusky and dusty from reflecting the dying daylight, and a sailboat at the center of Ford’s attention and therefore of his mind … listing and sinking into dark waters, the name on the prow all but lost to the waves—“Stan o’ War” now just “Stan”.

Bill watched the rest of what had happened as one might watch oneself on camera.

“Oh boy … I smell emotional issues …” he muttered before floating up beside Ford’s shoulder. “Got something on your mind, Fordsy ol’ buddy? Besides me, that is.”

“S-sorry, I just, um, got distracted,” Ford stammered apologetically. “I’ll try harder to focus. Won’t happen aga—”

“Because of your brother? It’s the anniversary of the day he got kicked out of the family, right?”

Ford gaped in shock for a moment. “… You … You know about that? But how?”

“For one thing, all the trash ‘round here is crumpled or torn up calendar pages for the same date. For another, I’m your Muse,” Bill replied, as though it should have been obvious. “I’m literally inside your head with all your memories at my fingertips, looking for anything I can use to help inspire your success.”

Blanching white, Ford asked, “All of them? You can s-see … all my memories?”

“Yep times a thousand! So I know you and your brother were—heh—close before that incident.”

Ford blushed.

“So no wonder you get distracted thinking about him today. Wasn’t that the last time you ever saw him?” Bill continued conversationally.

“Um, I … Maybe I m-might’ve seen him once after that. During my college graduation, but … Don’t know, honestly,” Ford admitted sadly. “Might’ve just imagined him being in the crowd.”

“Wishful thinking? ‘cause you got some stuff to get out of your system with him?” Bill waggled his eyebrow, making Ford blush a second time. Before he could respond, though, Bill suggested, “Y’know, I could help you unpack some of that emotional baggage you’re lugging around. Which’d help us get back to productive work sooner—get you from distracted back to tracted.”

“First of all, that’s not a word—”

“It is now that I’ve used it! Tracted, adjective, the state of being that comes after one has been distracted but is focusing once again.”

“Second of all … How could you help with that?”

“Why, with a little bit of roleplay. I know how much you love to roleplay, Fordsy ol’ pal.”

“I don’t know …” Ford said uncertainly. “This isn’t exactly a D&D&MoreD campaign. Besides, this is hardly an appropriate setting, and … well, no offense, but your voice and mannerisms aren’t exactly reminiscent of Stan (or most humans, for that matter). I doubt I could get into it.”

“Heh. You’re just saying that ‘cause you ain’t never seen what a good actor I can be. Goes with the territory of being a MASTER OF THE MIND! Watch this!” Bill clapped once, then suddenly multiplied into a dozen more Bills.

“Whoa! What the—”

From nowhere, the original Bill pulled a megaphone, a chair with the words “Director” and “Leading … Well, Not ‘Man’ Per Se, But Close Enough” on its back, and a thick script. “OKAY, YOU SUPER SNAZZY STAGECREW,” he projected through the megaphone. “LET’S GET THIS STAGE CLEARED AND READY FOR A NEW SCENE! LET’S MOVE! AND SOMEONE GET ME A TWO-CREAMS-ONE-SUGAR COFFEE AND A MAPLE LOG! What about you, Fordsy? You want anything? Same thing, yeah? DOUBLE THAT ORDER! ONE FOR ME, ONE FOR MY COSTAR!”

Slack jawed at all the activity flurrying around him—one Bill pulled a rope from nowhere, causing the seascape (while waves continued to toss, clouds continued to billow, and the ship continued to sink) to part down the middle like a theater curtain and swish away; another Bill pulled a massive pushbroom from nowhere and cleared away all of the beach (sand, trash, and salty odor) to leave a hardwood platform beneath; several other Bills were now wheeling away the endless fields of flowers that stretched to the horizon (plus the phantasmagorical buildings standing among them) like scenery backdrops painted on squeaky canvas frames—Ford could only mumble, “Costar?”

“Well, duh, Fordsy ol’ chum. We’ll be centerstage, you and me, and in the spotlight together—me as Stanly, you as yourself. If that doesn’t make us costars, I don’t know what does!”

“BOOOOOO!” another Bill shouted from behind them, seated in a newly revealed spectator section with boxes of popcorn. “Directors shouldn’t play parts in their own productions! That’s a crass and masturbatory act of egotism that invariably cheapens the production! BOOOOOO!”

“Just ignore heckling critic me,” the original Bill told Ford. “Now, speaking of the spotlight … LET’S GET THE LIGHTING AND SOUNDCHECKS DONE, MES! TIME IS MONEY! AND WHERE’S OUR COFFEE AND DONUTS ALREADY?! WHAT AM I PAING YOU FOR?!”

Yet another Bill came trundling up with a long rack of costumes that looked exactly like the contents of Ford and Stan’s old bedroom closet. While going through them, he pointed out, “You’re not paying us for anything, babygorgeous, because we don’t actually exist. We’re just visual constructs you conjured to represent the complex yet entirely abstract process of manipulating a mindscape into a specific scenario Stanford can experience (or reexperience in the case of actual memories) so it feels to him as if it was entirely real. This whole setting is, too. Also because you’re extremely melodramatic, overly theatrical, and crave being the center of someone’s awed attention, sugardumpling.”

“One more smart-alecky remark like that, and you’re fired!” the original Bill snapped.

“No! Please, angelpie, I need this job! I need the money, or they’re gonna break my legs!”

“Fine. Just go get the makeup equipment already. AND WHERE ARE WE ON THE LIGHTS?!”

Ford looked up to see a span of catwalks and electrical equipment overhead. The Bill up there gave a thumbs up. “Good to go, boss! Same with sound, too!”

A new Bill came running up with a platter. “Here’s your coffee and donuts, sir!”

“Freakin’ finally!” the original Bill exclaimed, passing over one of each to Ford before snatching the others for himself. “I’d have you dragged into the alley behind this soundstage and shot for taking so long, except we’re not actually in a soundstage and you’re just too darn cute to kill.”

“Oh, sir, you’re gonna make me blush!”

Taking a bite out of his maple log with his eyelid, the original Bill snapped, “Stop being so cute and go find something useful to do.” Then, turning back to Ford, he continued lightly, “Yep, costars, you and me! Collaborators! Partners in … What? There something on my face?”

With a gulp, Ford asked, “Is … Is that how you eat? With your eye?”

Bill smiled despite not having a mouth. “Only when I’m in polite company.” Then he took a sip of his coffee—a long, slow sip while looking right at his weirdologist friend (who spazzed reflexively at the sight of coffee washing into sclera). “But now that mes have cleared the stage, we should really pick the scene we’re gonna roleplay. So what you wanna do, Fordsy ol’ mate? Relive a memory, act out a hypothetical conversation/argument to get some words off your chest, or experience a fantasy in real-body-stimulating intensity? Whatever you want, I can do for ya.”

“I, um …” Shaking his head, Ford admitted, “There’s just … so much. When I think about him. About everything that happened then. And before. And after. And I … I just … can’t process it enough to … y’know, make sense of how I feel about it all? Gah! Can you understand that, Bill? The only thing I know for sure right now is … is I miss him … even if I don’t know what I’d do if I saw him right now …”

Bill blinked a bite off his maple log, then chewed thoughtfully, ignoring the other Bills (“Hey, guys, wanna see something funny? MacBeth!” “Don’t say that! It’s bad lu—” A sandbag smashed into that Bill from above. “Hehehehehehe! I got more!” Then he whistled sharply. “Argh! You can’t do that either, it’s also bad lu—” A light fixture exploded, blasting the Bill on the catwalk off so that he kersplatted onto the platform. “Hahahahaha! How about this one? Good luck during the performance!” “No, you fool, you’ll kill us all if you say—” “Guys, you think this pyrotechnic equipment still works?” a different, oblivious Bill asked right before pushing a button. The bad luck would’ve been spectacular had anyone paid attention.) now milling about the visual construct of an empty stage which represented a mindscape ready for shaping. Eventually, he suggested, “Tell you what, Fordsy ol’ comrade, let me choose for you this time. I think I know what you need right now to feel better, and it’ll be an actual memory of a good time you two had together. Something … positive and fun and a little whacky to help you get out of this slump. Whaddya say? Trust me enough to follow my lead in the roleplay?”

A glum shrug. A passive affirmation. “Sure, why not?”

And then original Bill was broadcasting through his loudspeaker, “OKAY, LOOK ALIVE, TRIANGULAR TROOP! LET’S GET THE STAGE SET FOR SCENE #618: ‘CABIN BOY AND CAPTAIN NOBEARD, THE COUCH PIRATE’!”

Ford blinked. “Wait, what?”

“I WANT IT READY TO PERFORM IN—”

“BOOOOOO!” the spectating Bill suddenly shouted, spraying popcorn everywhere. “That choice is a cliché and uninspired piece of saccharine hackery! Also, it’s practically meta-theater, which always sucks because only self-inflating, pomposity-spewing fartbags think it’s clever to make plays that are ham-fistedly obvious metaphors for making plays! BOOOOOO!”

“So it’s perfect for our director,” one of the Bills stage whispered, making the others giggle.

“I HEARD THAT!” the original Bill snapped. “DON’T YOU HAVE PROPS TO SET UP?! ACTION IN FIVE, MES! AND WHERE’S THE ME FOR COSTUME AND MAKEUP?!”

“Right here, angeldoll! And ready to get Starford suited up!” That Bill wheeled a vanity piled high with brushes, pencils, and cosmetics right to them. He then pulled an outfit off the rack, scrutinized it, put it back, pulled out another, nodded his approval, and zoomed over to slap it onto Stanford’s body. Right before assaulting his face with a blur of all the cosmetic products—powder, rouge, eyeliner, etc. All of it happened so fast Stanford didn’t even have time to protest, and when the air cleared and he stopped coughing, that particular Bill was adjusting a mirror before his face. “What do you think, honeydear? Don’t you just look divine?”

Breathless with astonishment, Ford touched first the mirror’s surface … then his own face … “Incredible!” he breathed. “I look seventeen!”

“If I did my job right, teddypearl, you don’t just look seventeen. Your whole body (or astral form dream body, technically, sweetiedumpling) should be seventeen down to the smallest of details. Now, if you want, I could also do your nails and hair so you look even more divine than you did at seventeen, darlingpeaches.”

“Nope, we want his ratio of divineness to undivineness to be exactly as it was then, thank you,” the original Bill dictated abruptly. “Now let’s get me suited up for—oh, Azathoth’samygdala!” Snatching up the megaphone, he bawled, “TVS GO IN FRONT OF COUCHES, NOT BEHIND, YOU IDIOTS! AND YOU’VE GOT THE BACKDROPS MIXED UP! C’MON, YOU MES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MORE PROFESSIONAL THAN THIS!”

Ford tore his eyes from the mirror and looked onstage. The living room of his parents’ house was being formed by a bunch of Bills pushing frames of painted canvas (reproductions of the walls) and setting up prop after prop (a couch, a rabbit-eared TV, old chairs, side tables with doilies, framed photos, knickknacks, bric-a-brac, that hideous lamp with the more hideous curtain shade he had always wanted to smash to bits, etc.); it looked exactly as he remembered … No, it looked more accurate than he remembered … He could even smell the dusty, musty carpeting and hear the tacky windchimes outside the window …

“There, treasurebear, you look ready for your big part. And divine, too! Simply divine!”

“Thanks, me. Looks like you won’t be fired today,” the original Bill decided.

“I can’t believe you could recreate the old place. Every little detail—” Ford turned to Bill, then felt his knees buckled beneath him; he had to grab onto a corner of the vanity not to fall over. Standing before him in a dissipating cloud of face powder was the seventeen-year-old version of his twin brother. “… St-Stan?”

Bill grinned with Stanly’s cocky, crooked grin. “Or close enough. Oh, sorry.” Clearing his throat, he then repeated in Stanly’s husky voice, “Or close enough. Right, Sixer?”

Stepping forward, Ford laid his hands on the shoulders of the boy in front of him. They felt real. Solid and strong through the t-shirt, with the kind of ropey muscles regular boxing gave a person. Same for the arms and the chest, although there was a little pudge on top of the muscles there (just like Stan had … or had had the last time Ford had seen him for certain) thanks to a nervous tendency to overeat … It all felt so real … so achingly real …

“Done feelin’ up the merchandise yet, Sixer?” Bill-Stan teased. “I could flex for ya, if ya want.”

“How … How are you doing this?” Ford whispered, his voice almost trembling.

As one, all of the Bills dropped what they were doing and turned to face him, then clapped and spread their hands. A rainbow spread between every set of palms. “THROUGH THE POWER OF IMAGINATION, FORDSY OL’ COMPADRE! AFTER ALL, I AM YOUR MUSE!”

Fingers clenching into the fabric of the t-shirt, throat constricting, Ford said, “Stan, I … I …”

“You’re not gonna start blubberin’ on me, are ya, Sixer?” Bill-Stan asked coaxingly. “Not before all the fun even starts?”

“N-no … No, I’m in c-control. Ahem! Of myself.” Ford composed himself, feigned brushing some dust off his clothes, then resumed, “So, um, you said something about following your lead in a roleplay?”

Grinning more widely than before, Bill-Stan took him by the hand (sending a jolt of long ignored and even half-forgotten emotions through the weirdologist) and led him onstage …

The thing about a person’s mindscape (or about a person’s dreams, since they’re the same thing, essentially) is they’re completely immersive. To the brain, they’re almost as real as reality itself; every ganglia involved in processing sensory input for the one is equally involved with the other. Which explains why dreams usually feel real enough that a person can forget they’re dreaming. Which explains why a true master of the mind can manipulate a person’s mindscape enough that, with just the right triggering image (such as walking through a conjured doorway or stepping onto a conjured theater stage), the person can believe what they’re experiencing is real, and even actually find traces of the mental experience on their physical body afterwards.

Especially if the person really wants to dream, to believe, to be manipulated by the master …

That was why Ford knew with certainty that he was sweaty and dirty after hours of working on the Stan o’ War, knew with certainty he was trudging into the living room of his family home, and collapsed onto what he knew with certainty was a sagging couch likely as old as he was (seventeen years). He also knew with certainty that he heard the jangling of the house phone in the hallway, and then the voice of who he knew with certainty was his twin brother answering it. That knowing certainty was manifest in every gesture he made; it even shone in his eyes.

A moment later, Stan was leaning over the top of the couch. Sweaty and dirty, too, since he’d been working on the Stan o’ War, too. “Heh. You look beat, Sixer. But if anyone’s got the right, it’s you. I mean, after all that hard work today? And figuring out the waterproofin’ stuff, too?” Then Stan reached over the couch and tousled his brother’s hair. “I guess what I’m saying is … You’re such a good cabin boy! Good work, me ol’ cabin boy!”

Ford beamed with pleasure at the praise and the loving gesture, yet still retorted (because having a brother means living in a perpetual argument, at the very least as a matter of principle), “Pff! Why am I the cabin boy?”

“Duh. ‘cause I’m the captain!”

“Why do you get to be captain?”

“Heh. ‘cause I can do this!” And then Stan swung himself over the top of the couch and dropped down onto his brother, draping himself over his brother like a heavy, sweaty, noogying blanket. “How do you like it, cabin boy? Huh? I said how do you like it, nerd? No, wait, cabin nerd!”

“Ghaha! Get off me—haha!—you’re gross from the beach!” Ford half-spewed and half-laughed beneath his twin. He was pinned against the cushions now, squirming but unable to get free.

“Heh heh! You don’t get to give the captain orders, cabin nerd! That’s not how it works aboard this ship!”

“W-we’re—hehehe!—not even on a ship!”

“Sure we are! The S.S. Couch, and I just boarded it! And you!”

“You did not have permission to come aboard!” Ford giggled, still squirming, now trying to push his twin back with his hands.

But Stan caught them both at the wrists and pinned them against the armrest, too, bearing down with his whole body. “That’s ‘cause I’m a pirate captain! Arrrrr, me matey!”

“Pff! W-what do they call you?! Nobeard?!”

“That’s ‘Captain Nobeard’ to you, cabin nerd! And I’m gonna be lootin’ yer booty!”

Ford threw his head back and laughed at so corny a line. But the laugh turned to a surprised gasp when he suddenly felt his brother (on an impulse) press his lips against Ford’s throat. It was like being hit by a single raindrop right before a spark of lightning—a single spot of warm, wet skin, then an electric jolt through his brain and body that left him rigid. Or perhaps made him realize he had been rigid already? And that his brother’s counter-squirming had taken on a decidedly grinding motion … Or had it been a grinding motion already? Ford moaned, “Aaah, St-Stan …”

“I told you, that’s ‘Captain’ to you, me ol’ cabin nerd,” Stan countered into his twin’s neck. “And I’m gonna shiver yer timber.” With that, he gave an extra hard grind, groin against groin.

“Mmmmoses! Oh … B-but, wait … What if … Dad and Mom walk in on us … like this?”

“Heh. You can be pretty dumb for a nerd, sometimes,” Stan teased. “They went to Grandma’s today, remember? And that was them on the phone just now, callin’ to say they made it there. Even if they head home right now, it’ll be at least two hours afore they get back. So relax, okay? Just … follow my lead …”

“Y-yeah, I can … Wait.” All at once, Ford stopped, because that phrase … He suddenly didn’t know with certainty what was really going on here, nor where he really was, nor even how old he really was. Intently, he peered at the face of the boy on top of him. Was there a golden gleam in his irises, where there should only have been brown? A twinkle in the eyes, but different than the twinkle normally there. He thought he could remember who this boy actually was. “… Bill?”

Stan grinned. “Only if you’d prefer havin’ a triangle in a tophat grind against you instead of your brother.”

Ford looked around, and remembered he was on a stage. A stage that had been set by multiple copies of Bill, and that he was now pinned beneath the original Bill who was mimicking his twin down to his cornball double-entendres, the smell of his sweat … and the exact length and girth of his hardon, currently pressing down on Ford’s own hardon (the thought of which made him blush a shade deeper than he already had been—did he really remember his twin’s member that well?). In the spectators’ seating, there was another Bill now distantly shouting, “Boooooo! You ruined the flow and the affect of the whole scene! The momentum’s gone and can never be gotten back! Boooooo!” and Ford found he desperately hoped that was not the case.

“You okay, Sixer?” Stan asked. No, not Stan. Bill. Bill mimicking Stan’s voice and manerisms. Bill mimicking Stan’s body so they could …

Ford cleared his throat. “Y-yes, I am. But, er, I just want to… to make sure that you are. This, uh, scenario doesn’t … doesn’t bother you? At all?”

“What? Why would … Oh!” Stan-Bill exclaimed suddenly. “You mean ‘cause we’re not just crossin’ a bunch of taboo lines in your meatbag culture, but went a mile past ‘em and are now buildin’ a small but charmingly perverted, summer cabin we can visit at our leisure?”

“I, um … suppose that’s one way of putting it …”

“Heh heh! It’s funny how awkward you are about this!” But before Ford could get defensive, Stan-Bill continued, “Sixer, I’m not human. I’m a Muse, here to inspire you to break through arbitrary human conventions (like the restrictive barriers they are) to something higher, purer, and truer. So all the arbitrary moral codes you meatbags make for yourselves, especially where sex is concerned? Don’t apply to me, don’t affect me. Whatever you desire, whoever you desire, however you desire (no matter how weird, complex, or how many parts it needs performed) I can play out for you here in your mindscape so well it will feel real. I can give you the psychological or sexual release you need to get tracted again on our oh so important work!”

Though overwhelmed by the possibilities, Ford still maintained, “That’s not a real word …”

“Like I said before, Sixer, if you wanna relive a memory, act out a hypothetical conversation or an argument with someone (like your brother or your parents or an ex or that one bald professor you loathed), or experience a completely new fantasy altogether … I’m down. Let’s do ‘em all.”

Ford gulped. “Y-you’re sure … it doesn’t bother you? At all? I mean, this is … er …”

Stan-Bill sighed in almost-exasperation. “Look, Fordsy ol’ friend, my true form doesn’t even have sex organs. Not that you’ll be able to tell when I change shape in your mindscape and go to town with pleasurin’ you, ��cause I’m just that good an actor—can act like I’ve always had ‘em and got tons of experience usin’ ‘em to turn people specifically named Stanford Filbrick Pines into puddles of contented, post-coital bliss—and always happy to put on a show for a friend.”

Beneath him, Ford felt so turned on he was having a hard time breathing regularly.

“Plus, I come from a species that has roughly millions of genders, so homosexuality doesn’t bother me in the least. If anything, it radically simplifies things. You wanna get it on with a guy? I can do that. Two guys? Ditto. A guy and a gal at the same time? No prob. An entire roomful of different people? Sure, it’ll be a nice stretch of my talents. Something or somethings that aren’t remotely human? Well, if either of us can imagine it, I can make it in here for you to fuck.”

Beneath him, Ford felt so turned on that he was practically vibrating with excitement.

“And as for what you meatbags call ‘incest’, well,” Bill-Stan shrugged. “Far from the weirdest kink floatin’ around in the collective unconsciousness of humanity. But it is just weird enough, luckily, to keep me invested in any—heh heh—boldly transgressive or unapologetically perverse theatrical performances you might want to try here on the mindscape stage. So c’mon, brother,” he added emphatically, positively dripping Stanness now. “Just follow my lead … We got hours ‘til Dad and Mom get home …”

Beneath him, Ford felt so turned on that he was sorta surprised the couch hadn’t caught fire around the two of them. Another low moan escaped his lips as he felt Stan-Bill’s lips press against his throat again … as he felt Stan-Bill grind against his bulge again … as he felt Stan-Bill carry him back into a more fulfilling moment than the present reality could ever hope to offer …

“You like that, cabin nerd? Huh? You like when I do that to ya? Go on, say ‘Aye-aye, Captain’.”

Though his hands were still pinned against the armrest of the couch and his body born down into the cushions, Ford arched his hips into the grind.

“C’mon, cabin nerd, go ahead and say it … Become a part of my couch pirate crew …”

Giggling, Ford turned and offered himself up for a kiss. It was long and warm and wet and deep, and so very, very sweet. It left him breathlessly whimpering, “Mmm, Stan … Bill …”

“Who’s this Bill?” Stan-Bill asked teasingly. Then, as if to punctuate every following sentence, he humped slow and hard at the end of it. “Someone I otta be jealous of? Someone I gotta go beat up? Someone who’s gotta learn that you’re mine … my brother … my lover … and no one else gets to touch ya but me?”

“Ah! Yes!” Ford cried out.

And, distantly, the Bill in the seats shouted, “Boooooo! Going off script like this is for amateurs! Improv in an established piece is for hacks who can’t remember their lines! Boooooo!”

That was when Bill (not the original Bill playing Stan, nor any of the copies playing stagehands, but the real Bill in a clonesuit stretched out on the bed in the attic) snapped out of his fascination and decided it was time to stop reviewing memories for a while. Especially this one in particular. Not because it wasn’t nostalgic or entertaining or sexually titillating for him (it was very much), not because he couldn’t remember what had happened next (his recall was still just as perfect as the rest of him—heh heh!), but because …

Because it just wasn’t worth watching the rest. Both in Ford’s memory of the actual event with his brother, and in the slightly altered reenactment Bill had performed with Ford, it hadn’t been more than another minute or two of cornball dialogue, couch grinding, and rough kissing before they climaxed. And why not? Ford and Stan had been horny, pent up teenagers way back then … and Ford had been a horny, pent up adult back then (what with his tons of emotional baggage and sexual frustration) …

“Not worth getting wound up over,” Bill muttered to the cabin ceiling. “Not when jerking off won’t be enough to take the edge off the horniness I’ll feel afterwards … And besides, if I want to feel wound up and horny, there are much wilder memories I could perfectly recall than that. With Dipper or with Sixer …”

His hand came up wearing a sock puppet Mabel had made to look like his true form—or, at least, as much like his true form as a sock with a hand shoved in it could, (though, honestly, it looked less like a dapper triangle and more like the bastard lovechild that would result from a wild night of passion between him and Kermit the Frog)—and said, “Funny how you didn’t even realize how good a thing you had with ol’ Fordsy, isn’t it?”

“How do you figure that?” Bill asked his sock puppet. “Working and hanging with him was a ton of fun, and I missed the 79 Hells outta it after he sided with this mudball … Still do, actually …”

“I mean all that wild, limitationless, mindscape sex you had with him. Back then, for you, it was just the fun of weird playacting (and manipulating a gullible meatbag); you didn’t appreciate any of the physical side of it.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re right. Of course, y’know, I kinda couldn’t appreciate it back then.”

“The beginning of the summer was a lot like that, too, with Dipper and Mabel and all the others,” the sock puppet continued matter-of-factly. “You didn’t appreciate any of the emotional side of spending time with them, what with how full of hate and plans for vengeance you were.”

“… No, I didn’t,” Bill admitted.

“All that time spent with them, and you didn’t even realize how good a thing you had.”

“… I kinda couldn’t appreciate all that back then, either, in my defense.”

“You could now, y’know.”

“What, you mean … relive the memories? Actually, that could be a fun way to pass the time,” Bill mused to himself. “Might not feel quite so bored or lone … Cthulhu’s cartilaginous cranium, I could go through all my memories with Ford! Maybe there’s something I filed away in there—something I didn’t think was important at the time, something that could spark another thought—that could help get me past the bubble!” he exclaimed, bolting upright. “And back to my Dipper!”

“That wasn’t exactly what I meant …” the sock puppet pointed out.

But it was rather futile; Bill was on a role now. “The bumblr crowd could even help with this … Them asking the right questions might give me some direction, instead of just prospecting—”

“HEY! LISTEN!” the sock puppet shrilled. “I meant you could be having a good thing right now with all the people here at the Shack. Emotionally and such. Enjoying it fully. But you’re not. Even though you want to.”

Looking away from the reproachful, googly-eyed gaze, Bill muttered, “Kinda hard to with Ford setting such a grim mood for everyone here any time he walks in on me and someone else.”

“You’re wasting time,” the sock puppet stated irrefutably. “Like at the beginning of the summer, when you were too busy being … being not nice—being mean—to everyone, especially Dipper. Now you’re wasting time being bitter at Ford.”

“He’s wasting time being just as bitter at me!” Bill countered defensively.

“And when was the last time you really tried to do anything about that? Huh? When you bought everybody gifts, maybe, a few months ago?”

“… Honestly? I guess so, yeah.”

“Go try again. You wanted to, anyway, since you saw him in the woods crying ‘bout how much he misses the Twins, too,” the sock puppet affirmed. “It’s the reason you turned away from remembering that time on the couch before the climax, too; you’re not in the mood for sexiness, not deep down, but for sappiness. You can appreciate that emotional side of things now, so stop wasting time not enjoying ‘em.”

“What if … What if he doesn’t want to stop being bitter? What if he doesn’t want to move on?”

“Then at least you’ll have tried. You won’t be wasting time being bitter. And you get to spend more time perfectly recalling individual memories to see if you can find something helpful to escape, so win-win for you.”

Bill sighed. “I’d argue with you, but you are me, so I know I won’t win … Well, let’s go …”

#little monsters au #billdip #bipdip #bipper #ford #stancest #billford #the feels awaken #writing #fanfiction #also i messed up the illustrations' order so some of these #will have no pics #and others will have #more than one #just a heads up #there shall be a celebratory cah game once this arc is complete!#submission

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annakie · 5 years

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Thoughts on a DW Rewatch & Mass Effect replay.

So I’m in the Eleven / Clara half-season now.

Also I’m now replaying Andromeda. I have thoughts, about both. I’ll start with Doctor Who then label it when I get to Mass Effect stuff.

Oh my God this gets long and rambly. Apparently, I have a lot of thoughts.

So, season 702... I’m ready for it to be over. I miss the Ponds. I felt like most of the first half of this season was pretty great, honestly. I’d forgotten how fun some of those episodes were, I think at the time we were anticipating a new companion so heavily that it was harder to appreciate those episodes? I feel like there was a lot of criticism levied towards them that now I felt like was a bit too much. The western episode was kinda meh but still not bad.

I’m not sure what exactly it is about these Clara / Eleven episodes that I’m still not connecting with but I’m in the middle of the Crimson Horror episode (which is a Vastra/Jenny/Strax heavy episode and enjoying it more than anything else so far this half-season.

*edit later* NOPE NOPE NOPE I’D FORGOTTEN HOW THE DOCTOR FORCES A KISS ON JENNY. GROSS. SUPER GROSS. SHE’S A MARRIED WOMAN, A LESBIAN AND DID NOT CONSENT TO ANY OF THIS. BAD DOCTOR, BAD.

Honestly even with some excellent guest start acting, the Russian Submarine episode was STILL a slog and the ghosts in the 1950′s episode no better. Like they still weren’t ridiculous and unwatchable but... just didn’t feel fun or interesting at all? The Journey to the Center of the TARDIS episode was decent, and I felt like that wasn’t nearly as cool as it should have been..

I remember reading a criticism of these episodes early on where they said that the biggest fault is that they failed to give Clara any real characterization or solid personality other than “girl the Doctor is obsessed with”. She’s SUPER IMPORTANT but not only do we not know why at this point but it really doesn’t feel... earned? I don’t recall it ever feeling earned that Clara was supposedly always so important? “The most importantest companion EVAR!”

And as someone who stanned the hell out of a character who was hated in the fandom for “replacing” a previous companion I’m checking myself to make sure it’s still not because I Miss the Ponds. Like, I don’t HATE Clara, I just, at least at this point in the rewatch, can’t find any reason to really LOVE her? She’s there, she’s fine, Jenna-Louise Coleman is doing a great job with what they’re giving to her but... I don’t know. It all feels... off.

I had forgotten all about the “the Doctor rides a motorcycle up the side of a skyscraper” moment and something hit me in that moment that made me remember that wow people hated that moment. It felt really... shark-jumpy somehow.

I love Eleven, but this half-season isn’t connecting with me, AT ALL. It feels like the writers just went and dug through a bunch of rejected script ideas, polished them up and were likle “let’s just do this until Matt Smith is gone.” I’m anxious to get to Twelve.

Mass Effect Stuff

OK TECHNICALLY I haven’t finished ME3. I still need to do the party and the goodbye scene, (Citadel Epiloge Mod installed) but I’ve gotten all the Stuff and done all the missions in the arena. I just wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye yet, so I started Andromeda a bit early.

-----------------

OK look I had a point I wanted to make and never quite got where I wanted to go with it right here. I’m too tired of trying to fix it, so this stands as written.

This playthrough had me ruminating a lot on Kaidan and Garrus. I really love both of those characters, though in my heart I’ll always primarily love Kaidan, I’ve done the Garrus romance and wouldn’t mind playing that character again to see the romance one more time. In ME1, I bring Kaidan everywhere all the time, and pick which other companion I bring to the story-based missions based on what I know is gonna happen like I’m sure most people do. Wrex for Therum, Tali for Feros (though I REALLY wish you could switch before going to see the Thorian), Liara for Noveria, Ashley on Virmire, Garrus for Ilos/Endgame. I rotate through all five for sidemissions.

In ME2, Garrus is my always-bring companion, with Garrus + Miranda being my favorite team. Except after the Omega relay, where characters with Throw really shine with all those husks running at us, Jack holds the bubble, and Miranda and Thane, who both have Warp to help take down the Reaper Baby, are the preferred team. Also so Miranda can tell TIM to fuck off.

Then in ME3, once the game opens up, Garrus is back on the perma-team, with a preference towards bringing Liara along... until we get Kaidan back. And then I realized I didn’t bring him to a single thing except a side mission or two until Earth. Mostly, this is because I’m following the Kaidan Banter guide and it turns out Garrus is a real banter hog for most of the missions. At leat he’s not James, who I literally never use unless I’m going on an N7 mission and feel bad that I haven’t taken him off the Normandy in awhile. I mean, even Javik gets more play. Also EDI doesnt leave the Normandy til near the end when all of a sudden she gets real important.

But Garrus is always on the team for Priority Earth. And that always felt like the way the main game should end, with your two favorites. (Also what kind of monster wouldn’t bring Wrex to the combat-centric areas of Citadel DLC? I keep thinking I should have runs where I bring other people but... Wrex is my other fave and we don’t get him with us AT ALL since ME1.)

I love Garrus, so much. And I was thinking with this whole parallel DW rewatch / Mass Effect replay think I’m doing right now how both Rose Tyler and Garrus Vakaraian are characters that were ruined for me for awhile due to their respective... overly enthusiastic fanbases who a small percentage of were dicks to people who loved other characters. The Kaidan tag (and from what I understand Thane got some of this too, but not nearly as bad) was a pretty hostile place for awhile (and yeah I used to check the Garrus tag too and there was a small amount of tag-invasion there but uh, like 5% of what the Kaidan tag got) which made loving the character of Garrus a lot harder for awhile. But when actually watching seasons 1 & 2 / the end of 4 of DW, or actually playing the games, those characters are awesome.

Fanbases can be amazing or terrible, and time and time again I think you start to realize that no matter how great a fandom is, there are going to be a few people who can only enjoy themselves by feeding on drama, or on lifting up what they love by stomping on other people/characters/plotlines. Going back through my blog reminded me that even the TAH fandom had some of this, with a small percentage of fans being real dicks to two prominent female characters in favor of their favorite ship, which soured even that just a tiny bit.

It’s not fair to characterize everyone who loves a popular thing as someone who does this. It’s also hard to avoid completely because there will always be jerks, or young/new people who don’t realize what bad form they’re showing. I did learn by trying to fight it for a year or two, that responding might help that one person not do it again, but it’s not going to stop overall. Maybe yelling a lot about Martha Jones did change some people’s minds. It still isn’t that good of a look now, even knowing that in general I was pretty polite and logical about it. I might respond to an odd comment now and again in some favorite character tags, but in general, turns out that kind of fight just isn’t worth it.

And those fights seem so stupid in the light of everything else happening in the world today.

Anyway, don’t be a dick about the things you don’t like.

-----------------------

I also wanted to say, and I know I said it in a few other posts about this ME3 playthrough, but seriously I cannot believe how much ME3 is a changed game because of the modders. I cannot imagine ever playing ME3 again without these mods. There were so many small things that I kept thinking I should take note of to talk about and I’m sure I forgot 90% of them, but there’s things like... adding in mentions of the Andromeda Initiative, closing a few plotholes, mentioning Emily Wong, adding in many more Spectre console options which end up having their own plotlines, adding in an entire plotline about the VI civilization that had previously only been talked about in like, social media or Cerberus News Network posts, having the Normandy be so much more populated, seeing so many more other species on the Citadel with more variety in clothing for those species that have clothing / could have more variety, way more female Turians.... every time I play ME3 the game is more and more like the game we wanted when it came out.

I am kind of itching to go back and replay it even now.

But hey, instead, its time to talk about Andromeda.

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So first of all, yes, mods for Andromeda. A few appearance mods, a lot of convenience mods.

After having recently played DA:I and I think Andromeda and DA:I are a lot more similar than Andromeda and the previous trilogy, I had decided it was time to cut down on the stupid stuff Andromeda does, like “Oh, you want minerals? Spend 10 minutes in each mining zone finding the PERFECT place to gather materials or you’re fucked” No, thanks. I’ll mine but give me that “one probe placed anywhere and you’re done” mod.

Make the modifications and crafting materials I use actually matter. 2% damage increase is nothing. Make my squadmates not suck because I remember doing 90% of the work myself before and that got exhausting with the number of spawns.

I tried to not go overboard so things feel like cheating, but there’s enough out there to just get rid of the stupid stuff, and it’s nice. And works together a lot easier than the DA:I mods did.

One thing I did do was install the Multiple Romance Mod. I enjoyed it in DA:I, even though ultimately I only did 2 full romances. I am **NOT** romancing Gil or Cora with the mod, I just wanted to experience all the content available for female Ryders at once, since I’m not going to have the energy to replay this 100+ hour game enough times to see every romance on its own. So I am poly-romancing Liam, Jaal, Vetra, Suvi, Peebee, Keri, and if it lets me, Reyes when it’s time.

I’ve only gotten all the way through Andromeda once (where I romanced Liam) My second playthrough was right after my first and stalled out about halfway through (was romancing Jaal.) It was one of those “I’m totally gonna get back to this! (She didn’t.)” things. I’m gonna be honest, I enjoyed the Liam romance and was enjoying the Jaal romance, I’d done a fling with Reyes but not the full romance my first time through and the fling with PeeBee on my second. Reyes was probably my favorite out of all of them. So this time I decided.. let’s see which I love the most, all at once. I don’t know if I’ll do this in the future, but this game is too long to not see all the content I wanna see, TBH.

And you know, I still really do like Andromeda. It’s a GOOD game. And I’m forever going to be mad that we’re not going to see how this story ends. This story deserved to finish being told. Like, there are a lot of very legit criticisms about Andromeda, but it didn’t deserve the harshness it got. And the worst thing about it, and DA:I both is that... there’s just a little TOO MUCH of it. 100 hours is an amazing amount of game but... it’s also just too much. For now I’m not trying to 100% this playthrough. My plan is on each planet to get the planet to 100%, take out the Kett or whatever major base, the Remnant Architect, and yeah probably clear out the sidequests that show up on the map, but fuck quests that are like “visit random Kett camps until you find the right datapads that don’t show up on the map!” or “scan random blobs in the forest that don’t show up on the map!”

So like, do the content, not the filler.

I still hate the vaults. The first one is cool. The rest are tedious. But they’re mandatory.

I love everyone on this spaceship though. They did the Tempest stuff SO WELL. All the companions I think are... good? There’s no one I don’t like, even the non-squadmate shipmates ship have so much interaction and so much to do/say. It’s not like “a bunch of randos and Joker, with occasional appearances by Chakwas and the Engineers” There’s no randos, it’s just a few people you have real interactions with, and its great.

The lack of enough beds in the bedroom will never not annoy me. There’s 4 beds for... Lexi, Liam, Cora, Suvi, Kallo, Vetra and Gil? Even if Liam slept on his couch, and Vetra put a bed in her supply room... still doesn’t add up. What, do Salarains not sleep or something? Does Lexi sleep in a medical bed?!? Peebee sleeps in the escape pod, Jaal brings a bed with him, and Drack’s like “Eh I’ll just sleep in the kitchen”. WHAT? THE KITCHEN?

I mean sure there weren’t enough beds, even with the sleeper pods, on the Normandy either, but somehow that was less disturbing.

Also, I know you’re supposed to HATE Director Tann but I love Kumail Nanjiani so I find it hard to be a total dick to him, even if he usually deserves it. If he wasn’t an anti-Krogan racist I think it’d be easier to like him. He was thrown into a pretty shitty situation and... did actually hold things together for some time. He’s not doing anything out of malice. He’s a dick, but also doing what he needs to do to keep the Initiatiave going. Oh, except for being a anti-krogan racist. (Honestly, I also think “until he turned Cerberus Udina was just doing his job pretty well” too, so...)

Taking some screenshots as I go. I mostly just take screenshots for me now. I have a few thousands screenshots from a dozen or more games rotating through my desktop background, and I keep adding to it, and love it.

Anyway, I’ve gotten Eos, Voeld and Havral to 100%. Time to go save the Moeshe. I’m having fun.

*edit from later* I’d forgotten that... idk if the dialog they recorded for Jaal was the first thing they recorded for him or they used a different VA or what but on the Save the Moshe mission his voice is VERY DIFFERENT and oh man, that is still bad.

Might take a break for when Onslaught comes out for SWTOR, though. I haven’t really played SWTOR in months. Oops.

#personal post tag thingy #annakie's mass effect stuff #doctor who stuff #hey this gets REAL RAMBLY sorry not sorry

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dregstrash · 5 years

Text

a book rec list no one asked for pt. 2

Check out this post for pt. 1

My side note still stands: I’m not super critical about books I read. I don’t really dissect or look for things that are wrong or what the author could have done better. I just read and if I didn’t hate the book completely then I would say it was pretty good. This is also not organized by any particular order

If you want more recs or just wanna talk book, send me an ask!!

- A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Listen, I don’t read a lot of fantasy retelling stories. It’s not my particular cup of tea when it comes to fantasy (I made an exception towards ACOTAR just because a good friend recommended it to me...and well....i have mixed feelings about the series in general...but that’s another conversation). ANYWAY. I freaking loved this book. It’s a Beauty and the Beast retelling, and it’s so unique and refreshing and agh it was so great.

All the characters are fleshed out. I’m being for real. Harper has cerebral palsy, but much like how Kaz deals with his injury, it’s just a part of who she is, and she doesn’t let it limit her. Like her disability isn’t shoved aside or treated as something to be fixed, it just is and she is such a baddie. I love Harper, she’s witty, intelligent, head strong, and learns from her mistakes.

Then there’s Rhen-- our Beast character. If y’all were looking for a fuckboy turned into “i regret every decision i’ve ever made and i just want to focus being a better person now” boy than I have the character for you. Rhen’s character growth throughout the book was a thing of beauty. We see how he thinks, the calculated and practiced nature he has resigned himself to, as well as his fierce loyalty. More than that, we see how Harper changes him as a person. She becomes a catalyst for him to be a better man and it’s great.

AND then we have Grey. The ever loyal soldier. He was a character that I wasn’t expecting to like, but by the end of the book I was so invested. He was so complicated, and layered and his brotherhood with Rhen and his friendship with Harper was so real and wonderful, and I just love him a lot.

If you’re looking for a book that handles the whole Beauty and the Beast retelling better than a certain popular fae inspired retelling, I highly recommend this one.

- Stalking Jack the Ripper (series) by Kerri Maniscalco

Here’s the thing, I love these books a lot. I love historical fiction. I love a good mystery. And I love steamy romances with Sherlock type character. Is it my all time favorite series? No. Is it perfect in characterization and plot? Eh. Did I have fun reading about the Watson character embodied by the spunky, intelligent, fiercely loyal, and unafraid to be a woman while still being a forensic scientist that is Audrey Rose Wadsworth? Absolutely.

This book honestly does not take itself that seriously. Sure, there is some murder going on, and there is a lot of danger that these two characters face. But it’s like watching any type of Sherlock Holmes movie. I had a lot of fun reading it, Kerri has such a unique voice and unashamedly made such a calculating, but still flirty character in Thomas Cresswell and I am here for it.

Plus the side characters are soooo much fun, and are the ride or die gal pals anyone during this time period would be honored to have.

- A Sky in the Deep by Adrienne Young

Have I talked about this book yet? If not, buckle your seatbelts cause I’m about to gush. I read this book in December, and I was S H O O K.

It launched me into this whole obsession with vikings, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days on end.

The whole story is about this girl who finds out her brother who she thought was dead has been alive for five years, and is living with a tribe that is perceived as the enemy.

I’m an absolute sucker for romance heavy fantasy action adventures, but this book was one of the few exceptions to that rule. It’s a book about family, about learning what it means to be a part of something, and having to break problematic beliefs to serve a greater good.

I loved Eelyn. I loved seeing her trying to reconcile her beliefs, her image of her brother, and adapting to this whole other perceived hated culture. You really see her struggle and fight against it, and then eventually understand what makes a tribe a tribe. Her character arc was amazing and there was the way Young writes her loneliness hit me right in the gut.

The side characters in this book were equally as amazing and fleshed out let me just say. Fiske is the broody, protective brother who has heart eyes for one tough woman who almost killed him in battle, we stan. And Eelyn’s brother was a treat to get to know, especially through her eyes. And don’t even get me started on little Halvard. The book wouldn’t have been the same without him. He was this little ball of energy that gave Eelyn a pocket of sunshine and happiness. And I loved him.

In conclusion: vikings, family bonding, character growth, and a dash of enemies-to-lovers

Please check this book out it’s amazing

- Warrior of the Wild by Tricia Levenseller

On the vein of viking badassery, I propose the amazingness that was this recent read. This book literally just came out this month, and I read it so quick.

Rasmira is a flawed character. Like that’s addressed from the get-go, and the book follows her amazing journey to find more about herself and reflecting on the events that led up to her life turning to shit.

Along the way she comes across two boys living out in exile with her. One who is one of the most respectful flirts that I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. And another who is the snarky character who can hold a grudge like nobody’s business, and has the snark of a man twice his size.

The journey of these three was so sweet to read, and the quests each of them take to try to redeem themselves in others’ eyes only leads them to learn what it means to have redemption in their own.

The character relationships were so brilliant. Again Rasmira is a killer badass with a brilliant mind. Soren is the feminist warrior that everyone needs to meet. And Iric is everyone when the way to solve the problem is more troublesome than the problem itself.

Please everyone read it.

#Book Recommendations #book recs #personal #recs #books #tricia levenseller #kerri maniscalco #adrienne young #brigid kemmerrer

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stsgooo · 6 years

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200 CELEBRATION!!!

So this week I hit 200 (now 225) of you weird mothertruckers. I can't thank you enough for following this weird ass blog 😭😭 and listening to my weird ass thoughts. Ya'll are the real OGs 👏✊😔 I stan you so hard.

Anyway, I was thinking a drabble week but how about a sleepover?..... but a week long sleep over. I honest to god have been wanting to do this for so long but I'm b-b-b-bussy.

Send any of these to my inbox!:

your tumblr crushes! (anon or not)

send in compliments about blogs and I'll @ them!

literally talk about the thing that's making you happy!

rant

vent

spill that tea ☕!!!

share a secret

get anything off your chest, this is a judge free zone

tell me about your crush!!! (family, friends, anyone you admire)

send in a tough spot you're in and i'll give advice!

ask me anything!

send in fuck, marry, kill (or any other game)!

reccoment anything! (fics, movies, books, ect...)

gush about your fav people

write a half blurb and i will finish it

talk about your fav ships!!

cast your mutuals

NOW FOR THE SECOND PART (AND MY FAV)

BLURBS

Rules:

send up to 2 or 3 prompts

nsfw is okay for this

i write blurbs for

marvel characters: bucky barnes, peter parker, shuri udak, ned leeds, steve rogers, peggy carter, sam wilson, wanda maximoff, carol danvers, m'baku, thor odinson, loki

supernatural characters: dean winchester, sam winchester, cas

doctor who characters: clara oswald, river song, 11th doctor, 12th doctor, 13th doctor, rose tyler, martha jones, jack harkness

clueless characters: cher horowitz, dionne, josh

random fandom characters: lance tucker, chase collins, carter biazen, andy dwyer

the office chracters: pam beesly, jim halpert, erin hannon, darryl philbin, roy anderson (👀)

riverdale characters: jughead jones, betty cooper, veronica lodge, josie mccoy, kevin keller

no nsfw prompts for underaged characters!!!

and lastly, have fun!

PROMPTS

tagging my hoes to s i g n a l b o o s t: @spookysznbitch @beautiful-holland @wintrcaptn @whimsicalbarnes @ringpop-poppy @rainbow-marvel @peters-vlogs @pumpkinsandparker @ptoridactyl @fuckyou-imspiderman @hawtrodred @lovelyh0lland @laexploradoraaa @boohooiamthefool @tonyintexas @mxrvelthot @definitelysamwilson

#200 celebration!#sleepover week

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abundantchewtoys · 5 years

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HS Epi Meat, p5 reaction

Meat Page 5.

We might be due another perspective switch - unless the plot stays with John until he's assembled all his friends.

When John goes to pick up Rose, it’ll probably be on LOLAR. Terezi might still be there, if she hasn’t gone clownhunting just yet.

If so, perhaps we’ll get to see whether Rose ‘n Terezi’s migraine was really due to the substance abuse + caleidoscopic colours of LOLAR + glitches… Or whether it was due to the GO timeline “supposed to” have gone differently, with John’s current retcon being the thing missing to happen. It takes a bit of effort, remembering what everyone was exactly up to on this part of the GO timeline and what would be a fortunate time for John to take it off the rails. For Kanaya, that might very well be the moment Jane set up her literal shop on LOFAF, selling her all those blood potions, for instance.

For Dirk, it might be before his conversation with Arquiusprite.

I'm getting the feeling that John might be jumping to exactly those moments in the scenes where the characters were at their lowest, self-esteem wise. Giving them a literal second breath. ;)

Not sure what we can expect from the ghost side of things though. I think they might not be duplicated, leading us to meet up with (Vriska) as we knew her, punk cut and all. Even though GO Terezi's ghost will be there with her too.

I'm half convinced Calliope will get copied somehow, but not entirely sure. The only 'real' duplicate Calliope had already, besides Alt Calliope, was her dreamself. He could snatch the body, but I was under the impression Caliborn consumed it in a literal sense to establish his dominance over the body.

Meanwhile, it occurred to me to that Andrew Hussie (the author avator) will make a comeback, probably a background cameo. I've only now realized that he's a literal ghost writer of his own story right now, in-canon. While outside of canon, he’s more becoming like Stan Lee, executive producing stories using characters he designed.

Anyway, let's start this up.

---

"The stands of the Cantown Memorial Arena" Okay, my first thought was this takes place on the meteor, but yeah, it's a building named presumably after the literal Cantown WV build in his station, back on Earth. Or the Exile Town that Bec Noir massacred. Though, does this indicate a perspective switch back to Roxy... Or is the CMA where Rumble in the Pumpkin Patch is recorded? Probably the latter, meaning the perspective is switching back to Dave! Uh, the alpha version, I guess I should call him? Post-canon, adult Dave?

"His shit eating was so brutal that no one, except maybe Jake, cares that he’s taking a phone call in the middle of a live broadcast." So, was it staged, or did Jake really get a power boost, coming into his role as the Page?

Also, I feel like if Karkat's run for president gets announced by Dave on live television, "and the crowd goes wild" will apply here.

"Dave takes a seat on the couch, right in Karkat’s butt groove." Okay, so he's not going just yet. ... Karkat's butt groove is available because the latter absconded the fuck out last we saw him, hahah.

"a piece of absolute garbage." Callback secured.

"DAVE: while the beatdown you just received was as thorough as it was humiliating im afraid as usual the solution to this problem should probably not involve your decapitation" While Dirk might be the one to keep this beaten dead horse of an in-joke going, Dave isn't going to be the one to cut its head off and end its misery. :P

"DAVE: jake just kicked your ass DAVE: thats really all there is to say on the matter" AWWWWW yessss, hahahahah. Dirk's laid down, on the ground, on his smartphone, just like Dave was after his beatdown by Bro. Awesome callback.

"DAVE: its really amazing how this meme we have going here continues to be exactly as funny as the day it was established DIRK: Isn’t it always though? DAVE: yeah" That's Strider Irony at its finest for you. You never can be entirely sure non-sincerity is what's taking place here.

" DAVE: how DID you get your ass kicked so bad DAVE: jake sucks and his raps are fucking awful" Oh, scratch that thing about his power level, then. ... The rapbots didn't join in to beat Dirk down, did they? ... Though I would like to see either them or their zilly versions again. :P

On the TV, Dirk makes an elegant hand sign that once might have represented solidarity with some ancient coastal rap group but now has been utterly divorced from its cultural context here on Earth C." Is it a sign associated with... the ICP? Yes, I guess whatever 'references' the kids make get picked up as divine decree...

"The camera pans away from him and over the crowd. It zooms in on a young crocodile wearing an oversized T-shirt with Jake’s highly marketable ass plastered over it and the phrase “Tally ho” written in big bubble letters." ... including stuff that was already dated when the gods were still actual kids. (By which I mean the phrase, not Jake's marketable ass.)

"DIRK: Holding back a little to achieve certain results doesn’t necessarily mean you’re participating in a farce or rigging the event. DIRK: We do this all the time. We hold back our thoughts, our true feelings, our full potential. We disguise how much we know about what and when, for many purposes. To ease relations, to let others behave naturally and make up their minds without undue intervention. To wait for the right moments to show our hands, to pick our battles. " Dirk is still overthinking things. :P He's also still a schemer, even though he's grown more mature. I think in this case, he might be trying to keep up Jake's taste for adventure and hone his skills? That might be related to the fact that he's one of the few in the know of what John is up to (also a thing he's withholding right now), and he might be trying to get Jake battle-ready in case he needs to be. ... In case he doesn't believe they'll stay irrelevant to the plot.

"DAVE: my dog you are full of some SHIT today arent you DIRK: Absolutely." It's a good thing Dave can see Dirk typing, otherwise I might have asked whether Dirk may have reinstated an autoresponder to answer when he's busy. :P

"DIRK: And when it comes to theater, there are just as many reasons for restraint. To build tension. To set the stage. To give the people someone to root against." Okay, that's actually kind of meta. Also, in-story, it might mean Dirk is deliberately trying to come off as weaker, to get people to boo at Jake so he can play hero?

"DAVE: i can see you on tv DAVE: theyre booing you dude" Okay, never mind.

"The excitable salamander manning the camera switches to a fish-eye lens for some unfathomable reason, giving the whole exchange an air of demented absurdity. Dirk’s sunglasses distort and stretch to dominate the entire screen." I'm all here for NPC races doing menial labor half-way competently. :P Also, I feel like there should be some sort of visual callback to that image of Dirk's sunglasses. Something to do with the black hole from Problem Sleuth expanding to suck the entire universe up, which was reflected in the Stiller shades, and the event in itself is being called back to now, in the Black Hole sucking up the Furthest Ring!

"JAKE: What about the agitated rabble? Theyre starting to throw things. DIRK: I don’t know. Do a dance or something. Sing a song. DIRK: They love anything you do. JAKE: Ummm. JAKE: Ok sounds stupid but ill try." Using Jake's charisma as crowd control? Dirk, you beautiful mastermind.

"Jake tips an imaginary hat toward center stage and begins doing the Charleston." Hah, right, this might be a callback to that other Page dancing old-time dances, hahah, Tavros after he assembled the ghost army.

"Just as Dirk predicted, the crowd immediately loses its shit, except for a single carapacian in the front row, who continues to glower at Dirk with an expression of absolute and total contempt." If Jack hadn't remained in the session, I would've designated this guy as his great-whatever-grandchild.

"DAVE: why do you want people to hate you so much DAVE: its fucked up DIRK: You’re reading way too much into it." I don't necessarily believe that.

"DIRK: If I wanted another round of embarrassingly indulgent and mutually masturbatory psychoanalysis, I would have called my daughter instead. DAVE: hm DAVE: do i need to point out how fucking weird what you just said was or can that start going without saying at this point" This. This is Homestuck. This entire exchange.

" DIRK: The point is, playing myself up as a villain figure in this hacky rap pageant has nothing to do with getting people to dislike me. Besides, everyone loves a good villain. When they boo, they don’t really mean it." That has me thinking of Thog, a villain from Order of the Stick, actually. But yeah, Caliborn, Condy and others were really good villains. Doesn't mean we didn't mean it when we cursed them, though.

"DIRK: I think you’d be surprised by how popular I actually am. DAVE: i dunno man" At some point, playing the villain stops being a role, if you're too thorough in antagonizing the crowd. Dirk may have gone overboard here - in his role in the pageant I mean, I don't think anyone loves their god any less. Just one more way to show that, victory state or not, their original issues still come into play and challenge them to grow.

"DIRK: The point is, this is much less about me, and more about providing a foil for Jake’s heroism and charisma. DIRK: It’s very important that his popularity continues to be cultivated, to maximize his political capital. DAVE: political capital" ... Oooooh! Thinking three steps ahead of everyone again, nice going Dirk! I think Dirk might even have foreseen Dave rallying Karkat to stand against Jane, but I wonder which side he'll be choosing!

" DAVE: what the fuck are... DAVE: ok how long have you known about the jane thing DAVE: i mean is this something you have been planning for like DAVE: a long time or DIRK: Planning is such an intense word." Oh, he's trying to pull the strings again, is he? What game is he playing then, what policies does he want to instate, if any? ... Is Dirk a supposed xenophone too, or just playing to the tune of the largest group of swing voters?

" DAVE: jane is a shitty candidate dude DAVE: shes going to be so shitty DIRK: I thought you’d feel that way." ... Pfff I just realized Dirk wasn't typing, since this was a phone call. He's saying this all out loud! Typing's the old way of conversation, we discarded it for the most part, everyone has their Gift of Gab now. Well, hopefully at least Dave's part isn't being recorded and broadcast.

"DIRK: I respectfully disagree. DAVE: i get shes a good friend of yours and all but even you have to admit how far up her own ass she is DIRK: Of course. I consider it to be among her best qualifications for the job." Dirk might just be thinking: a self-absorbed candidate won't notice being pulled around. Even though she's, you know, his dear friend and all, he's still planning on manipulating her. :/ Old habits and such.

"DAVE: christ DAVE: ok if nothing else have you at least taken into account the DEVASTATION to the economy this will cause???" Strider Irony(tm).

"DIRK: Dave, I think if you search your soul, you’ll come to the same conclusion I have. Jane is just what this planet needs. DIRK: We’ve all had our fun here, but it’s easy to overlook the fact that civilization on Earth C is hardly a sustainable proposition. DIRK: Just beneath the surface, it’s quite a dangerous and unstable place." Oh, cool, so Dirk was acting on the same things Dave noticed, just having drawn different conclusions. Guess there's more to playing god as a winner of Sburb than sitting on your butt all day long, huh?

"DAVE: i know that DAVE: which is why actually i think it would be cool to have a president that is good instead of bad DIRK: He’s not as great as you think. DAVE: what" See, I know Dirk'll say Karkat, but I kind of wish he'd say Obama. :P

"DAVE: who DAVE: obama?? DAVE: how dare you" XD PFFFFFffffhah, okay, should've seen that coming.

"DIRK: I’m happy for both of you, really. It’s nice that you encourage and support each other in this way. But you’re sending him on a fool’s errand which can only end badly." Like, I understand where Dirk's coming from, we know how unbalanced Karkat is at his worst. But Dirk's seems to be the conservatist route, while the current status quo is so unbalanced someone with at least a little liberal thinking should try changing policy, little by little. ... Okay now Homestuck has me doing political discourse. Hussieeeeeeee! ... Why am I now picturing a Homestuck AU about the climate change truant student marches of Europe?

"DAVE: wait DAVE: how do you even know hes entering the race DAVE: we like just decided this DIRK: A competent political operative has his ways. DIRK: Besides, it was always pretty obvious to me you’d react this way the moment the announcement was made." Okay, not ruling out entirely Dirk has something spying on Dave, but that would verge too much on what Bro would've done in his place. He probably just cold-mindedly assessed his potential response.

"DAVE: cause if youve already got jake on your side then i guess we might as well just fucking quit DIRK: I wouldn’t worry about that. DIRK: He and I don’t quite have the rapport we once did. DIRK: He’s “over me” and doesn’t spare opportunities to make ostentatious demonstration of this claim. DAVE: um DIRK: Basically he doesn’t like being told what to do. Especially not by me." Cool, okay, so... Jake is needy in his own way, in showing he can fend for himself, at least that's how Dirk sees it. Guess they still hang out a lot though, just no longer "like that". That must be a letdown for the shippers, but a boon for the people that felt betrayed at seeing Dirk & Jake back together in the Credits. I like that middle road, actually! And hey, the versions of Jake & Dirk in the New Game Plus timeline, or whatever we should call it, are still fair game!

"DIRK: So it’s fair to say as of now, he’s still fully in play. DIRK: Not that I should be encouraging you, really. DAVE: you are one doubletalking son of a bitch you know that DAVE: i cant tell if you dont want us to run or are reverse psychology mindfucking us into running" Very true, that. Why would he share the truth about Jake if he wants to win, unless he wants fair competition? Best not to dwell on it too long on this neverending stairway of hidden intentions, lest we fall down it.

" DAVE: not like i can just stand around and wait for president crocker to like DAVE: write fucking grammar laws into the constitution" Pfffff, yes, I had forgotten about Jane's grammar practices, hahah. Guess she has a good running mate in Dirk for that, at least, capitalization and everything in order when he's not rapping.

"DIRK: Sorry to cut this short, but diapers are starting to come down pretty hard right now, and some of them haven’t even had their babies removed. DAVE: what" what. I hope it's at least consort babies, they're arguably the most resilient, as semi-sapient animals.

"DIRK: That was a joke." Ah.

"Jake can’t help but watch the motion, raking his eyes over the muscles shifting beneath the skin of Dirk’s neck and arms.

There is something implacably magnificent about Dirk Strider, Jake thinks, untamed like a wild game beast of incredible size and strength." ... Well then! I didn't think the narration would offer us this view from the perspective of Jake, thought it would be reseverd for John! Not entirely sure how I feel about the privilege of seeing Jake pine for Dirk, though. :P At least it clarifies where the allure is in it, for him. It's an extension of his taste for adventure and his upbringing on an island full of terribly powerful beasts.

"Of course, their history together is never far from Jake’s mind, however many years it’s been since their last tussle of an amorous nature. The old dramas and triumphs in the days of Sburb. Dirk’s companionship has been taxing to the heart, to say the least, and yet he’s taught Jake so much—about combat, philosophy, life, love." Okay, that is just such a Jake thing to phrase it like this. I'm glad we get to see he's not so oblivious or un-elloquent in his mind as he presents himself to the outside world, consciously or not.

"But sometimes, despite their checkered and problematic past, Jakes wishes that he could seize Dirk by the proverbial horns and wrest him bodily into becoming a much more agreeable fellow." Heheh, so Jake actually would like to impose on Dirk some manners. At least with him it stays with desires, while Dirk really did try to impose on Jake when they were together.

"DIRK: How about you kick off the next round? DIRK: I bet this crowd will settle its shit right down the moment you drop the latest rhymes you’ve been tinkering with." This is going to be painful to read, isn't it? ... If we're going to read them at all. ... I swear, this might just lead into them having "the xest rapoff in the history of Earth C".

"Jake’s face lights up. He composes himself, adjusting a bow tie, although he is not wearing one, and making a vague gesture like he’s twirling one end of that mustache Dirk has not yet let him grow. Dirk lets him go with a gentle smile, like the sort you’d give to a dog for performing a trick adequately. Jake responds to the signal like an Olympic athlete hearing the starter pistol. He was born for this." All the best and worst aspects of Dirk & Jake as a couple are basically summarized here. I mean, Dirk is not even WITH Jake and vetoes some of his choices. Then again, Jake really does have TERRIBLE (but hilarious) taste in mannerisms.

"JAKE: Tally ho its me, jake mcgee! JAKE: Popping my pistols off, two shots and a kiss JAKE: My aim is tops, i never miss" ... I'm not disappointed, this really IS almost physically painful to read, as expected.

... Okay that was actually a very amazing rap. Well thought out, good use of the vocabulary, dated though it is. I liked "jake-eng's" and "jape-slings" in particular, especially since that was what Vriska dismissed him as, a joke, a jape.

"The crowd, as Dirk rightly predicted, has settled its shit right down. This is not due to any accidental brilliance on the part of Jake English, but rather due to an abashed but loyal brand of pity, the kind a devoted fan cannot help but feel when they see a beloved celebrity make an ass out of themselves during a live broadcast they have waited two and a half years in line to buy a ticket for." I think this might be Dirk's POV. Not everyone's tastes in rap are as dignified as his, after all. :P Consorts in particular might love this. Then again, we saw John embarass carapacians not too long ago, they're not immune to pitying people. But hey, on the brightside, maybe some of the audience <>'s Jake now. :P

"Dirk’s phone begins going off again." Unless it's something more ominous, this is probably Dave having the last quip.

"With a casual flick of his wrist, Dirk snaps out a bright red tranquilizer handgun and shoots Jake in the neck. Jake’s glasses crack when he hits the mat. A chorus of boos rises up from the crowd like groundwater. Dirk artfully dodges a bucket of obscene troll fluid to field yet another very important personal call." ... Did Dirk actually use a Crockertech tranquilizer on his co-god? What the hell, Dirk? Guess all is fair in the ring.

And I suppose it's not Dave then that is calling him this time, if he takes such drastic measures.

"DIRK: Yo Rose, what's up?" Oooh, if we get to see this, that would be early we get to see Rose again! Dirk and Rose'll probably be planning their next move now that John has left. (Which I take Rose to already know about, through her Seer powers, or a call with Roxy.) ... Maybe some of their plans only could have worked IF John left, if they wanted to regain some measure of relevance through them.

#homestuck #upd8 #reaction #spoiler alert #dirk strider #dave strider #jake english

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berjhawn · 6 years

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Twenty-Four - Part 11 - Home Is Where The Heart Is

GIF NOT MINE

Twenty-Four ~ Chris Evans recently gave an interview and was asked what was his favorite age was and he replied 24. When asked why that age he said he couldn’t tell so my brain had a thought and this was the outcome. I hope you enjoy.

Pairings: Chris Evans X Reader ; Sebastian Stan X Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, cheating, misunderstandings, ETC

Prologue

Part 1 ~ 9 years later

Part 2 ~ Dinner and a Dress

Part 3 ~ Truths and Premiers

Part 4 ~ Chris

Part 5 ~ The Fear

Part 6 ~ The Harsh Truth

Part 7 ~ Pictures of You

Part 8 ~ A Moth to a Flame

Part 9 ~ The Calm Before The Storm

Part 10 - They Say You Can’t Go Home

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we walk through the sliding glass doors I let out an inward groan of annoyance as all eyes fall on us. It wouldn’t be long before the rest of the town knew that Gene Hollister’s infamous celebrity daughter was back in town. I glance over at Tommy before I say, “Maybe I should have just sent you in without me.”

“What and miss all this?” He jokes as he grabs a shopping cart.

“Not funny Tommy.” I retort as I glance over at a magazine counter to see my face on the cover along with both Sebastian and Chris. I narrow my eyes angrily as I read the title: ‘Actress (F/N) (L/N) seen out and about with Captain America Star Chris Evans’ Rolling my eyes I walk away from the magazines and back to my friend who was headed toward the beauty department. “I swear people have nothing better to do in their lives than to be all up in mine.”

“Well you are a celebrity,” Tommy replies making me cock an eyebrow at him causing him to continue, “I’m not saying that gives anyone a right to your privacy; just that a lot of people are gonna say that when you became famous you gave up any and all chances of privacy.”

“You think I should quit?” I ask honestly making him stop in his footsteps.

“Seriously?” He asks and I nod, “Well do you love what you do?”

“I only started because I loved music and the feel of the ivories under my fingers; but any love for that disappeared when Em died. I haven’t touched a piano since, nor have I sang.”

“That’s a shame, you had a pretty voice.” Tommy says a sad look filling his face.

“What’s with the look?” I ask as I nudge his arm with my elbow.

“Nothing, just remembering things how they used to be, you know, before.” He replies and I nod.

“I do that pretty often nowadays.” I reply as I reach over and grab some shampoo and conditioner and toss it in our cart. “What sounds good for dinner, or do you have other plans?” I ask curiously making him chuckle as we ‘round the corner to the toothbrushes.

“No plans, other than a date with the stables. You offering to cook for me?” He asks and I nod.

“Maybe, you know depending on what you want. I would take some to pops; but I’m the last person he wants to see right now.” I say grabbing a toothbrush and toothpaste. After tossing them into the cart we start to move toward the food section.

“You know we could always stop by Spanky’s or Drake’s?” He adds making me let out a heavy sigh.

“No bars please, at least not right now. Drake’s doesn’t sound too bad, but I don’t know If they’d even let me in the door.”

“Don’t be silly, as long as you’re with me, nobody will say anything.” He says winking at me making me roll my eyes.

“Are you just suggesting a diner because you’re scared of my cooking?” I ask cocking an eyebrow at him making him chuckle worriedly as he lies.

��What… No…”

“Uh huh.” I add as I shake my head at him.

We quickly get everything I needed and after paying, head over to the diner. After noticing how all the people reacted to me, Tommy decided it was better if we got our food to go. Driving back to my family’s ranch-house had my mind racing. Every curve in the road a constant reminder of some painful memory of my past. My heart clenches as my childhood house comes into view. My eyes play tricks on me as I look at that old porch swing to see my mother swinging back and forth a sad smile on her lips.

Mom?

Then as soon as I saw her, she was gone. I instantly reach up to rub my eyes. Was I finally starting to go crazy? As the car slows to a stop I reach for the handle and open the door. The cool wind whips through my hair sending a shiver down my spine. Winters in Oklahoma were both beautiful and harsh. “Go ahead in, I’ll grab your bags.” Tommy says appearing behind me.

“Are you sure?” I ask, and he nods.

“Yeah, here,” He hands me his car keys and I look down at them confused as to which one actually opened the front door. “It’s the one that looks like a star.” I cock and eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes. “It makes me think of you. You know, you’re a star, anyway shut up and go open the door.” He answers making me laugh.

“Sure thing, I’ll grab dinner and meet you inside.” I reply reaching back into the truck to grab our food containers and my purse. After closing the truck door, I walk up that familiar dirt path to the front porch steps that led up to the veranda. Millions of memories flashed through my head of happier times when I used to run up those steps with Emily. Even memories of when my father and I actually got along snuck their way in. I smile sadly as I continue up the front steps and after unlocking the front door open it. I am suddenly hit with an all to familiar smell of leather couches, homemade biscuits, and roses.

I leave the door open for Tommy before I make myself move from the foyer into the living room where pictures of Angie, Jack, and dad filled the room. A tinge of pain fills my heart as I make myself move to the kitchen and set the food containers on the marble counter top. I set my purse next to it as I pull my cell phone out and looking at it realize I never finished sending Karen that text. I quickly finish it and sending it to her decide to go through the rest of my messages so I didn’t have to think about where I was and how much this place haunted me.

Unlocking my phone I see that Sebastian’s messages ranged from ‘did your flight go okay’ to ‘I’m staying in your apartment until you get back’. I chuckle as I send him one that answered all his questions and even adding that he still owed me a box of cereal. Then it was Zeke’s messages. I rolled my eyes as I just delete them and decide to move on. I saved Chris’s messages for last. I smile as I read each of them.

Chris:

-hey, I hope you have a safe trip. I meant it when I said I’ll be there if you need me.

-okay, I have to say I miss you already.

-Sebastian says he’s staying at your apartment while you’re gone, I’m thinking of joining him.

-Okay, never mind, that’s not happening.

-I love you, (Name), let me know when you get settled.

I let out a giggle as I instantly hit the reply button.

Me – Hey, I made it in safely. Tommy and Ange were at the airport waiting for me. I saw my dad, he looks a little rough but still acts like an old fart so he’s doing better. I love and miss you already too.

After hitting the send button, I slip my phone into my back pocket and let out a heavy sigh. Looking around I realize that not much has really changed after all these years. I find myself walking from the kitchen through the hallway to the grand arched stairway that led to the rooms upstairs. Flashes of my younger self, along with Emily’s, running up and down them. Sliding down the bannisters. Even the time I ran around them to get away from my stepmother. That memory in particular made me wince.

Taking a deep breath, I walk up the stairs and reaching the second-floor head down the hall to where my old room used to be. Reaching it I see the familiar sign signaling that it was my room and to keep out hanging on it. Reaching up I gently touch the door and feel my breath hitch.

No, I’m not gonna cry.

Clearing my throat, I reach down and grabbing the handle push the door open. I freeze in my footsteps as I look into my room to see Emily sitting there staring back at me with a sad smile on her lips. “Em?” I say barely above a whisper causing the vision to disappear. Now the tears did fall. Reaching up I cover my mouth to keep from crying out as my knees buckle under me sending me to the floor. I instantly wrap my arms around my waist as that all too familiar feeling of emptiness fills my body. With tear filled eyes I manage a glance back to where she had been sitting to see a little white envelope sitting where she had just been.

I push myself up to my feet and walking over grab it. I see my name on the front and I bite my lip as I recognize the familiar handwriting. Clearing my throat, I open the envelope and pull out the folded piece of paper inside.

Dear (Name),

I don’t know when exactly this letter will reach you since I asked your dad to hold onto it for me. If you are reading it then that means my cancer got the better of me. I’m sorry I never told you, but I couldn’t be the reason you stayed in Oklahoma and gave up on your freedom. You are like the sister I never had and every day with you was the greatest in my life. Thank you so much for making my last few days the best I had ever had. Please promise me that you will never ever give up on your music. The world needs to hear your voice. The only time I have ever seen you truly happy is when you are playing the piano so please never give that up. If you do, I swear I will haunt your ass. Lastly, take care of that guy of yours. He really loves you. Although I think he might have a few screws loose, I know he would never hurt you. Please treasure him like you treasured me. I love you so much my sister from another mister.

When you get this, do me a favor, write me a song. A good one.

All my love, Em.

Tears fill my eyes as I let out a heavy sigh and fall back onto my bed. I stare at the letter and know without a doubt that at some point in time Emily had written it. She wanted me to move on. How could I? It wasn’t fair that I was here able to move on and have a happy life when she wasn’t. Pulling the letter to my chest I hold it close to my heart as I let out all the pain and anguish that I was feeling inside. I hear footsteps hasten to my doorway and I look up through tear filled eyes to see Tommy standing there with an expression that matched my own.

Without another word he closes the distance between us and kneeling down in front of me wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. “It’s okay (Name).” He says letting me cry my eyes out into his chest. He gently rubs circles on my back as he tries to calm me down. “I take it you found Emily’s letter?” He asks, and I nod tears still falling down my cheeks.

“It’s s-still n-not fair.” I cry out in between sobs.

“Can I see the letter?” He asks, and I nod as I hand it over to him. Lifting his head, he keeps one arm around my body as he uses the other to lift the letter up so he can read it. After a few moments he lets out a sigh. “So what are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know.” I reply my knuckles turning white from holding his shirt so tightly.

“If you want my two cents, I say you write that girl her song.” Tommy answers making me instantly pull away from him.

“How can I do that? I haven’t touched a piano in years and I doubt I can even write anymore.” I pause reaching up to wipe the tears from my eyes. “Every time I get close to a piano, I freeze. I can’t even sing without having a panic attack. I can’t do it.”

“I’ll help you as much as I can. For starters, your dad made sure no one touched your piano. It’s still sitting downstairs. We’ll take things slow and while you help your dad, maybe he’ll help you with your music.”

“Yeah,” I scoff folding my arms over my chest. “Like dad would ever get that close to a piano.”

“You’d be surprised.” Tommy replies causing a look of shock to fill my eyes. “For now, lets just get you settled and get your dad home. Then we’ll go from thre. Okay?”

“Okay,” I answer with a slight nod my eyes looking back to the letter he was still holding. He hands it to me before he stands back up and heading to the doorway turns back to look at me.

“Come on movie star, lets get some food in our bellies and then I’ll show you what needs to be done in the barn.”

“Thank you, Tommy. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’d be alright; but thankfully we’ll never have to find that out. Come on, shorty, let’s eat.” With that he leaves my room and I’m left to think about the letter and what I was going to do next. Letting out a heavy sigh I place the letter on my old desk and giving my old room one last look over head downstairs to join Tommy for some grub.

Will Continue -

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