Tumgik
#so bad at falling asleep but even worse at waking up
dindjarindiaries · 10 hours
Text
Tumblr media
character: Hunter (The Bad Batch)
prompts: "Everything's gonna be okay." "Promise?" "Promise."
main masterlist • hunter masterlist
Tumblr media
You paced the area outside the cockpit for a few minutes, debating whether or not you should actually walk inside. The rest of the ship was quiet, with everyone asleep aside from you and Hunter. He was on watch in the pilot's seat, facing hyperspace and twirling his knife around to keep himself awake. For some reason, though, you couldn't make yourself walk in and disturb his peace.
Thankfully, he made the choice for you. "You can come in, you know."
You stopped and sighed, your resolve withering as you finally stepped through the threshold. Your arms crossed over your chest as you stood just behind the co-pilot's seat. Hunter had already sheathed his knife, and his observant gaze was fixed on you. The more he studied you, the more his brow began to knit together in worry.
"You should be asleep." Hunter's words weren't a scolding; rather, they were coated in pure and genuine concern, an invitation for you to tell him what was on your mind.
You huffed and shrugged. "I tried."
You turned the chair so that you could sit in it, and you kept it swiveled to the side facing him. He did the same, leaning an elbow upon one of his knees. He was without most of his armor, which no doubt made his current position much more comfortable for him.
"I..." You paused, then chuckled as the words began to form in your mind. They sounded ridiculous when you started to give life to them. "I shouldn't have bothered you. I'm sorry."
You began to stand, but Hunter was quicker. He stood and held your shoulders to keep you in place, his eyes searching yours and providing a comfort that left you breathless. "You're not bothering me." His thumbs ran over your shoulders. "You came here for a reason. That's why it took you so long to come in."
The slight amusement he added to his tone made you huff. The sound brought a small smile to Hunter's lips.
"I'd like to hear what you have to say."
You nodded at that, returning his smile as he relaxed back into his chair. Hunter still stayed close, and he even offered his hands to you. You accepted his offer and held on tight, keeping your gaze fixated on them as you finally spoke your truth. "I'm afraid, Hunter. We don't know what we're doing, we don't know what's coming next, and... it's scaring me."
Hunter gave your hands a gentle squeeze, and as you dared to look up at him, you noticed the way his own shoulders had grown a little heavier. He released an exhale and let his own gaze fall. "I understand." He watched his thumbs run over the backs of your hands. "It's not easy navigating this galaxy when so much has changed in such little time."
You took a deep breath, wishing that all your worries could go with it as you closed your eyes. "I don't want to lose anyone, Hunter. We've already lost Crosshair in a way, and that's something I know none of us have fully healed from." You reopened your eyes to meet Hunter's gaze, and a glimmer of pain in his eyes proved your words to be true. "What if something worse happens to one of us?"
Hunter's brow lifted in sympathy, but before he could say anything, the sound of more footsteps drew your attention to the threshold. Wrecker was standing there with a yawn, rolling his neck before he looked at Hunter first. "All right, Sarge, it's nap time. I'm..." he paused as he noticed you were there, and his gaze settled on your entwined hands, "ready for my shift."
Hunter nodded, rising from his seat and helping you to do the same. You thanked him quietly before he responded to Wrecker. "Thanks, Wrecker."
He walked forward and you followed. Hunter's hand patted Wrecker's shoulder as he passed him, and you gave Wrecker a quick side-hug. He returned it with a comforting smile.
Hunter was waiting for you as you joined him outside the threshold of the cockpit. He gestured with his head towards his bunk, his voice now a whisper to avoid waking the others. "You can come with me."
You nodded and attempted to ignore the warmth you gained at the idea of sharing Hunter's space with him. He led the way to his bunk and helped you up first before following. There was a blanket that he drew up over the two of you, another layer of warmth that threatened to devour you and every dark worry that was still taking a hold of you.
It was only after Hunter had rested his head on his pillow to face you that he began to respond to your earlier worries. "You've been with us through much of the war. You've seen what we've been up against."
You nodded at that. The first time you had ever seen them in combat, it had blown your mind. It was a big reason why you tagged along with the squad in the first place.
"This Empire and this galaxy are unpredictable, but that never stopped any of us before." Hunter found one of your hands again and held it tight in his own, though his gaze never strayed from yours. "We're gonna be okay." He nodded. "Everything's gonna be okay."
The worried weight on your chest already began to dissipate, but you needed one last reassurance to make it disappear. "Promise?"
Hunter lifted his hand to your cheek instead and nodded once more. "Promise." He brought himself close enough to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. Your entire body began to relax in a way you'd never felt before as he pulled away to face you again. "Now, try to get some rest." His hand returned to yours. "I'll be right here."
You brought yourself even closer to him, but before you buried your head in his chest, you held the tattooed side of his face and kissed him. It was a quick yet sweet gesture, spelling out the thank-you you wished to tell him in a way that somehow said it even more strongly. He was beaming as you pulled away, though your head went to his chest to keep yourself as close to him as possible.
There was no clear resolution in sight, like Hunter had said, but you believed him wholeheartedly. Everything would be okay, and at the end of it all, he would always be there to make sure of it.
41 notes · View notes
iwritesickfic · 2 days
Text
Where I Need to Be - part 2
it's been a while since I put out part 1, but here's the conclusion! hope you enjoy :)
While the day has been miserable, Theo’s pretty sure he’s over the hump of whatever illness he has. He hasn’t thrown up since this morning, and his fever’s been under control (mostly) since he’s been able to hold down ibuprofen and water. He’s still got a pounding headache, and his stomach is puffy and tender, but all in all, it’s not as bad as it could be. And he knows how bad it could be.
He’s been in and out of sleep the last few hours, and he’s woken up most recently to a hushed phone conversation happening on the other side of the bedroom door. He’s only getting bits and pieces-
“Kelly, I told you…sick, that’s why…fever…Ok fine…One hour…Ok. Bye.”
Then the door opens, and Seamus is walking in. His smile is strained, but it’s there.
“Hey, love. How are we?” he asks, same gentle voice as always. It’s so different than the one he was using on the phone just a moment ago.
“Not bad,” he says, and for once he's telling the truth. Seamus sits down the edge of the bed, laying his hand on Theo’s forehead.
“You still feel pretty cool. Not cool, but not…not too hot,” he says, and runs his thumb back and forth over his sweat slick skin. They sit in silence for a while before Seamus speaks again. “So. I’m going to ask you something but I need you to be really, really honest. Ok?”
Theo nods. This will have to do with the phone call. Kelly is the artist whose album he’s working on. And who deeply, deeply dislikes Theo. Needless to say, she was not pleased to find out Seamus was missing a day of work to be with Theo, fever of 104 or not.
“There’s a dinner tonight with some people from the label, and Kelly- they want me to go.” There’s an expression on his face that Theo can only describe as shame. It makes sense he’d feel that way, but Theo doesn’t hold it against him. Work is work, they both know that, and some part of Theo was waiting for this conversation to come. And he can't even fully focus because his head is throbbing.
“Ok,” he says, voice shaky. “What did you tell them?”
“I told them I’d have to see about it but it’d only be there for an hour, tops. So be honest, if I was gone for two hours, do you think you’d be ok? Do you feel like it’s getting worse?”
“How big of a deal is it? Contract, or?” He already knows it’s a very big deal or Seamus wouldn’t be asking, but his answer will pretty much depend on it.
“That’s not…” He bites his lip. “It’s not contracted, but if they don’t like what they see…” He trails off before shaking his head. “It’s ok either way. If I stay or go. Just be honest.”
Honestly, he doesn’t want Seamus to leave. Not at all. That said, he doesn’t feel sick enough to justify making him stay. If sleeps for the next few hours, which is likely, there’d be no point in making Seamus stay home.
“Go. I’ll be fine.” A wave of relief seems to wash over Seamus, though the look of guilt doesn’t totally leave.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ll be fine for a couple hours.”
“Ok. Two hours. Tops.”
He’s asleep before Seamus even walks out the door. But when he wakes up, he realizes that this virus is far from done with him.
His whole body is shaking, sweat pouring off him, his clothes plastered to his skin. His stomach is in knots, and when he opens his mouth to take a gasping breath he immediately heaves up a mouthful of bile. He’s so hot. He’s never been so hot in his life. His chest is tight with it, his breath is shallow.
He knows he needs to get to the bathroom, but the minute he pushes himself up with trembling arms, the world spins, and he vomits again. God, his stomach. He moans and forces himself out of bed, and quickly finds he’s way too weak and dizzy to stand. He nearly faints before catching himself on the bedframe. Somehow, he finds his way to the bathroom and falls hard to his knees before leaning over the toilet and heaving again.
The cold of the tile almost hurts his fevered skin. It feels raw, just like his throat. His chin is sticky with drying vomit, and he peels off his shirt. When his hand goes to touch his cramping middle he can't hold back the whimper that escapes. It's so tender - the touch feels like a stab. He also can feel that he’s very, very bloated. The normally concave expanse of his abs is jutting out from his hips, puffy and aching. The waistband of his shorts presses uncomfortably into the swell, and combined with the pressure of his touch, it makes him retch.
In between heaves he can’t hold his head up, so he slumps against the toilet bowl, forehead on the cold porcelain rim.
Sweat drips from the tip of his nose on the floor below him. His breath is gasping in and out, and he's not sure whether he's shaking with fever or sheer exertion.
“Seamus!” He calls as loudly as his voice will let him, which isn’t very loud at all. It's cracked and thin. In that moment he remembers Seamus isn’t here. The thought wrenches a sob from him.
God, he’s so pathetic. A quivering mess, crying for his boyfriend, vomit on his chin. There are a few minutes of respite where he just sits there trying to catch his breath, chest jumping up and down, praying for relief from the fever and the throbbing in his skull. Praying it’s almost… What time is it? What time did Seamus leave?
Before he can think much harder on it, he’s vomiting again. There's only bile now, nothing else is left in his stomach. But once the bile is gone, it doesn’t stop. It’s wringing him out. He’s dry heaving until he’s too weak to. He’s still dripping sweat. It burns his eyes, stings his chapped lips.
He needs to get his phone. He needs to call Seamus. It has to have been two hours by now - it feels like he’s been in this bathroom for 5. But it can’t have been, because Seamus would be back.
The bedroom. His phone is in the bedroom.
He’s no stranger to being this sick, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
He stumbles back down the hall, having to stop and lean against the wall every few steps when his lightheadedness is too much to handle.
He gets the phone. His hands are shaking so badly he almost drops it. He taps Seamus's perfect, smiling photo. Immediately, he hears his voicemail message - "Hey, it's Seamus. I don't really check my voicemail so just shoot me a text! Thanks." There's a dial tone, and Theo hangs up. He calls again. The phone is sticking to the side of his face. Same thing.
This is a nightmare. It has to be. He looks at the time. It's after 10, Seamus should've been home by 8.
Theo is slumped on the floor, back against the wall, just trying to breathe evenly enough to avoid throwing up any more than he already has. The last bout of vomiting had quelled the nausea slightly, but it's back, despite him still not having anything in his stomach to purge. His mouth is dry and sour but the thought of even rinsing it out makes his stomach churn.
He opens his texts. It takes a long time to type a message. It's riddled with typos but his hands are shaking too badly to do any better. It's something along the lines of "where are you? i need you". Normally he wouldn't be so direct, but he's desperate.
Then the world is spinning, spinning, spinning. And then he’s asleep.
Every extra minute Seamus is sitting at this table he's nervous. But, he reminds himself for the thousandth time, Theo would've called if something was wrong. He's probably asleep. His phone has been silent all night, tucked in the pocket of his coat where it hangs from the back of his chair. He's glanced at it a few times, but nothing's come through.
Still, he promised Theo two hours. It's been four. And even if he leaves now, it'll be four and a half.
He's glad he came though. As much as it would've gone just fine without him, he has way more experience dealing with execs than Kelly does. Zeke even flew in from New York. The meeting started at a restaurant in the city and migrated to some random pub a few doors down after the execs were on their way.
At about 11 he goes to the bathroom and grabs his phone as an afterthought. There are absolutely no notifications, which seems strange.
Upon closer examination, he sees it's set to "do not disturb." He definitely did not set it to "do not disturb." He stops in the doorway of the bathroom as he sees the notifications flood in. 6 missed calls. Five unread texts. All from Theo. He has to stop himself from sprinting back to get his coat. He's immediately in panic mode.
Kelly, Zeke and a few other acquaintances from the label look up from their conversation.
"Whoa, what's up?" Zeke asks as Seamus throws on his coat with shaking hands.
"I just - It's an emergency," he manages to say. Zeke furrows his eyebrows but doesn't protest. Kelly huffs.
"Seamus, please. He can take care of himself," she says, and he freezes in place. Zeke looks very confused now.
"Theo?" Zeke interjects, but Seamus doesn't bother responding.
"I told him I'd be home at 8 and it's 11 and he's been trying to call me since 10. I don't know why my phone…" He trails off. He can barely think straight. Kelly crosses her arms and looks at Zeke, whose lips are pressed into a line. "What?"
"Well, we agreed it'd be best if there weren't any distractions," Kelly says. Seamus isn't someone who ever really gets angry, per se, but he's angry right now. Furious. But everyone is staring at him now, and it'll only look unprofessional if he loses his shit. He turns his gaze to Zeke, who looks extremely guilty.
"I didn't know something was wrong, I-" He starts and Seamus clenches his jaw. He starts to stammer out a reply before realizing that every minute he spends here is one minute he's wasting.
"I'll see you guys Monday," he says, trying to keep his voice as even as possible, ignoring the shouts of his name as he leaves.
He tries to call Theo. It rings, but there's no answer. He calls again. Still nothing. He's going about 20 over the speed limit, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. When he walks into the house he doesn't even bother taking off his coat or shoes.
"Theo?" He calls. No answer. He knows logically that Theo's not dead, but the panic in his chest does not seem to know that.
He stops in the doorway of the bedroom. Theo's on the floor, half curled up, shaking like a leaf. Seamus is frozen for a moment before he rushes to him.
Theo's skin is hot - so ungodly fucking hot - and so incredibly pale. Seamus shakes his shoulder lightly, and though Theo moans softly, he doesn't open his eyes.
"Teddy?" Seamus asks, running his hand up and down Theo's arm. Theo's eyelids flutter, and another small sound of pain escapes his chapped lips. Seamus taps his cheek gently. "Teddy, baby."
Theo's eyes finally open, only halfway but enough for Seamus to know he's conscious. When his gaze lands on Seamus's face he lets out a sobbing breath.
"Shh, you're ok," Seamus murmurs, trying to keep his voice steady. He lifts Theo so he's sitting upright, almost all his weight on Seamus. His forehead rests on Seamus's shoulder, his breathing shallow and labored through sobs. He smells like vomit and sweat, and his hands are immediately clinging to Seamus's shirt. "I’m gonna lift you up, alright?"
Theo doesn't reply, but Seamus wasn't necessarily asking for permission.
He maneuvers Theo's limp body so he can pick him up, and tries to ignore the spike of panic when all of his body is pressed against him. He's on fire, trembling, letting out little whimpers of pain at every movement. Theo doesn’t cry like this. Ever. And it’s making Seamus very nervous.
He's glad he works out enough to squat 250, because Theo is only a little over half that. He doesn't bother trying to get his shorts off before placing him in the bathtub, his long legs bent in the small space. Seamus turns on the water and rummages to find the thermometer.
Theo doesn't even make a sound as the cold water hits his skin, and doesn't even seem to notice when Seamus slips the thermometer under his tongue. As the water rises and he waits for the thermometer to do its job, the guilt really starts to set in.
He should've been here. Instead, he was out at a bar, drinking and laughing and assuming everything was fine. He should have noticed his phone was fucked up, he should've left when he said he would. He doesn't know how bad the fever is exactly, but he would wager a guess that it's really fucking bad. Odds are all the vomiting made him dehydrated, which made his fever worse, which made the nausea worse, and around and around until they got here.
He takes one of Theo's limp hands, and with the other, calls Zeke. It's only a ring or two before he picks up.
"What's up?" He asks, and Seamus suddenly feels like he might cry.
"I think I need to take him to A&E." His voice is shaking.
"The-" He cuts Zeke off before he can finish.
"The ER."
"Ok, ok. Uh…" Zeke trails off, clearly flustered. The background noise of the bar softens and a door closes. Seamus cuts in again.
"Do we have anyone here who could come give an IV?" In New York, Theo has people who'll come to wherever he is and give him the basics without having to go to the actual hospital, but Seamus has no idea what's at their disposal in Ireland. He kicks himself for not thinking to find out before now.
"Uh, I can check. I'll call around. Maybe. Is he-"
"I might be able to get it- get the fever down, but he's really dehydrated, so…" Seamus trails off. "You have people here, right?"
"I mean, yeah. In theory. It's just-"
"Just find out what's faster. I can drive him to A&- the ER, or someone can come here. Either way, just find out what's quicker, ok?"
"Ok. I'll call you back in a few, just hang tight." He doesn't hang up just yet. "And I'm sorry, I never would've let Kelly have your phone if I knew what was going on."
"Well she shouldn't have my phone anyway."
"Right."
"Yeah. Just call me back when you know, ok?"
"Ok, hang tight."
The line goes dead and Seamus checks his watch before taking the thermometer out of Theo's mouth. 40.5. He stares at the reading for longer than he needs to, feeling the panic in his chest spike.
Theo’s eyelids are fluttering now, and the hand Seamus is holding tightens around his.
“Oh my God…” Theo breathes out, his voice ragged and thin. “Fuck.”
“You’re ok, you’re ok,” Seamus says, and dips his hand in the cool water before laying it on Theo’s forehead. A towel or washcloth would work better, but he can’t make himself move from this spot.
“Shay, I…” he murmurs, before trailing off, “I had the worst nightmare.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” he says back gently, wiping Theo’s chin. It’s taking so much effort to maintain this facade of calm, but he knows if he starts to freak out, it’ll only make things worse.
“I…In my dream…I kept calling you and calling you,” he mumbles, and Seamus is immediately sick to his stomach with guilt. “But you wouldn’t answer. And I was alone.”
It takes everything in him to speak around the lump in his throat.
"I'm here now," is all he manages to choke out. He can't bring himself to lie outright. He'll need to come clean eventually, but not now when Theo's still half delirious. "You've had your appendix out, right?"
Theo nods.
"Burst. In college.” Despite the cold water, Theo doesn't seem to be getting any cooler. He's not even shivering.
He's gathering Theo's hair into a little bun when Zeke calls him back.
“What did they say?” He asks, and Zeke sighs.
“They have people in Dublin, but they wouldn't be able to make it to you until tomorrow morning. I could call you a car but I think it'd just be faster for you to drive him in. If you feel like that's what he needs.”
It's a horrible drive. Then a horrible night.
When they drive home the next morning, Theo's still running a fever, but it's not as bad as it was. The insides of his arms and the backs of his hands are bruised - he was so dehydrated they had to jab him about ten times to find a vein for the IV.
He's able to walk inside from the car, which is a major improvement, but he collapses on the couch as soon as he walks in.
“I'm gonna make some tea, alright?” Seamus asks, carefully stroking some of his hair back from his face. Theo just nods, closing his eyes.
As he makes the tea, he knows he needs to tell him. Not today. No, he’ll wait, he thinks, and tries to convince himself it's for Theo’s benefit. He doesn't quite manage.
22 notes · View notes
ketyoulater · 1 year
Text
Me, around 1am, dozing off on my couch: oh, oh how sleepy am I, never before have I felt such fatigue. This tiredness is a true inescapable plight, hypnos put his full pussy into this honk shu mimimimi I'm about to experience.
Me, when I finally get in bed: wow let's stare into the darkest corner of my room and ponder every facial expression I saw today with deep shame and regret for the next hour.
2 notes · View notes
flufflecat · 12 days
Text
Really not feelin it this week. Tag rant incoming
#it's just been a slew of horrible things this week and idk how to handle any of it#we had to take my childhood cat to the vet on Monday bc she's very sick and very skinny#and we thought we'd have to put her down#I'm so thankful bc she still has a bit of time and really all I want is for her to be comfortable again before she dies#but shes in such bad shape#and I hate seeing her like that. I found her when she was just a few weeks old#and now she's 15 and she just got old out of nowhere#and I'm not gonna be able to see her anymore soon#I'm going to a funeral Saturday for one of my aunts#I wasn't close to her since I was a kid but my family more or less abandoned her#and now she's dead and I never went to see her when she was alone#and today my other aunt died. and I was close to her.#I haven't seen her in years either though bc of more family drama.#and I never visited her either. idek if she was alone or if she had people.#I should have visited her when we found out she was sick but I just didn't#idk what to do. it's all just piling up#I feel worse rn than I have in years#and more bad things just keep happening#I was excited this week bc I got some work done on my college application#but now my motivation is just gone#I just wanna sleep and wake up and find out that my aunt is actually alive and someone just got it wrong somehow#but I can't fall asleep and that won't happen so waking up won't even be worth that#I would call off work tomorrow but I don't wanna be alone and my coworkers are the only people I know in town#at least they're all nice people#this all sucks so fucking bad#personal#negative
3 notes · View notes
nomaishuttle · 5 months
Text
ohhh fml i was like maybe i cn stya up a bit late after all its weekend tomorrow. no it fucking isnt today was thursday i have work tmrw everything is evil always
4 notes · View notes
stephlastname · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
#:(#dont mind me just whining over here lmfao you can ignore this if you want to#got even worse since i made the update post on my ymmh account#aside from feeling horrible#the thing i hate most about being sick is the sleepless nights#and the fatigue that comes from them#and the headaches bordering migraines#and the pain in my throat being so bad my ears shut off completely and hurting SO BAD along with my jaw#and then usually my fibro comes a knocking as well and worsens everything by making me hurt even worse literally everywhere#UGHHHH#i just hope#i wish so dearly#that i manage to fall asleep somehow and wake up fine or at least better#as long as im showing improvement#the past few years. since covid started basically. every single time i get sick it is super bad to the point i have to be hospitalized#either hospitalisation or emergency trip to the er#ambulance and all lmfao#it is so embarrassing honestly#to go to a hospital as a fat person#but i know i cant help it and its out of my control or power#but that also makes it so damn scary#when im sick its basically just focusing and using all my energy to make sure i Keep Breathing#which is already hard thanks to my asthma lol#and then literally every single time ive gotten sick liked this i just lose grip and all my energy because of the sleepless nights#and THEN shit goes downhill and i have to get emergency care#im praying that doesnt happen because every time it has happened ive felt so close to death and it scares me#i dont like to ask for things for myself when i pray. i always ask for good health and happiness for my family and loved ones#but this time im gonna pray for my good health
3 notes · View notes
daz4i · 11 months
Text
you ever met a guy so dumb and talentless he couldn't even cut himself right?
11 notes · View notes
britneyshakespeare · 6 months
Text
im just gonna tmi-medication share in the tags real quick
#tales from diana#i want to preface this with i've been prescribed adderall as-needed for adhd for a fullllll decade now#don't come at me with anti-adderall or anti-adhd-medication bullshit im not here for it!!#but my health problems have been so bad and ive been getting the worst sleep of my life lately no matter WHAT i do#i can do everything right#and btw i do not take adderall every day. which is implied by as-needed but i want to stress again I DONT NEED IT EVERY DAY#only when i do like. work. which ive been doing less and less bc of health problems!#but even though i havent been able to physically work so much i still have been taking half-doses a couple times a week just to like. read.#just to have a brain to do ANYTHING when everything is so awful and my brain is so foggy#ive always *sometimes* cut my doses in half if im not doing so much. just to save it y'know.#and ive always also *occasionally* gotten worse or even a really bad night's sleep after taking adderall#most commonly i'll wake up absurdly early the next morning and not be able to fall back asleep#rationing sleep is always something ive been in the habit of doing anyway as a person w adhd.#sleeping 4-6 hours during the week and 10-12 hours on weekends. just to make up for the deprivation y'know.#but even lately cutting my regular dose in half. it's still too much.#my current dose btw is already half of what it was in high school! i decreased my dose already years ago#but yesterday i finally got the nerve to take. a damn quarter of my own pill#and i took the smaller quarter of the half i cut in half.#i was def taking less than 5mg of my damn medication#and i actually didnt sleep like complete shit! and i was also worried#it might not be so effective.#but it actually worked quite well. i had enough focus to read for several hours#i had energy throughout the day too#i sometimes try to do caffeine on days i cant/dont wanna take adderall but caffeine just does not do the addy things so effectively. iykyk.#i cant believe i have to be so skimpy w my own life-sustaining mental health medications just bc my physical health is so bad#but whatever. whatever!#im gonna take another quarter-dose today and finish pericles prince of tyre. have a great day everyone
3 notes · View notes
toastsnaffler · 7 months
Text
tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(
#I dont even know why im so fucking sad. this last week has felt like getting hit by a train repeatedly for no reason whatsoever#and it fucking hurts so bad and i cant fix it because i dont know whats wrong!!!!!!#i think thsts why its been so hard sleeping lately like my brain is problem solving but theres nothing there to be solved#and i dont even have anyone to talk to about it and even if i did i wouldnt have anything to say bc i dont know im just fucking. sad#like yeah ive gotten upset abt other things but thats me projecting my mental state onto everything. theres no original cause#unless it really is just pms and some hormonal shit which is likely but kinda insane to think abt. like yeah my body has decided#to flood the entire fucking system with Kill That Egg™ for a straight week except its too effective and makes me want to kill myself also#but apparently not fucking effective enough to start my actual fucking period. yippee#i want a thousand year long hug and to cry rly snottily into someones shirt and then to fall asleep and wake up feeling rested#man. nothing makes me feel any different. exercising and sleeping and socialising and eating and showering and reading#and i can feel my interest in things trickling away like i havent been able to do a lot of shit i rly want to bc of this barrier#and ive been trying to make myself do some things regardless bc inactivity will just make it worse. but nothing works!!!!!!!#i dont even know anymore man. i do everything right and im still as depressed as i was like 8 years ago#and i know thats just the depressed brain talking like i know i dont constantly feel like this but its hard to see outside of it man#u spend ur whole life drowning but its ok bc sometimes u get ur head above the surface long enough to take a breath or whatever#insert overused mentally ill metaphor here etcetcetc#ok i think ive run out of things to say im gonna try sleep again. day 1 billion of making longass vent posts sorry everyone#gn#.vent
5 notes · View notes
cesium-sheep · 7 months
Text
she went to sleep out in the living room as soon as I laid down in bed, which is not that unusual lately but is very easy to interpret badly right now.
0 notes
saetoru · 10 months
Note
Tee 🥹 so RB Gojo always shows up to YNs house unexpectedly or wants her to come over. What if one day out of the blue, like 2 am she shows up at his house in tears due to stress. And for once he can be the caretaker and dependable one. And then she falls asleep in his arms arms and he gets to be the big spoon for once. I could see her whispering “you’re it for me too” while thinking he’s asleep.- dabitee anon
✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。BEFORE & AFTER — GOJO SATORU. (rich boy! au)
contents. college au, rich boy! gojo, stressed reader :(, comfort, cheesy banter lol i tried ok, slightly based off of this drabble
notes. dabitee anon. babie u are my biggest rb! gojo inspo u always think of the sweetest lil moments between them sobsss i adore you sm
Tumblr media Tumblr media
sometimes, gojo forgets you're not always put together. sometimes, you struggle to get assignments finished, and sometimes you don't wake up for work on the first alarm, and sometimes studying is too much to handle no matter how determined you are for an A.
"thinking about me this late, sweetheart?" he grins as soon as he picks up your call, laying back on one arm as he stares at the ceiling. he doesn't expect to see you call at two am, but you do—and when he hears the short, wet sniffle through the phone, he doesn't waste a moment to sit up. "sweetheart? you good?"
"toru can you let me in?" you ask quietly. gojo feels every crack in your voice pierce into his chest—it's rare for you to need him like this. he thinks he's always needed you more than you've needed him, truthfully. you've always opened doors after he's stormed out on his father, you've always laced your fingers after arguments with suguru, and you've always rubbed his back when he's hunched over toilets after one too many drinks.
when was the last time you've let yourself need gojo? he doesn't have the time to even try and remember, his feet carrying him over to open his front door quietly. and it's you—you with teary eyes and puffy cheeks, you with tired dark circles and wobbly lips. it's you, but it's not the you he knows, the one he's used to.
the one good thing about gojo satoru is he always knows how to talk—he speaks enough for two, knows how to fill the silence when you can't bring yourself to speak. his arms tug you into his chest before you can open your mouth to explain.
"did you drive all the way here with those watery eyes?" he hums, "wanted to see me that bad? it's dangerous driving like that, baby."
"didn't wanna be alone," you mumble, sniffling into his chest. his hands are big—they're good for rubbing slow circles into your back, the warmth of his palm seeping in through your shirt and pressing against your skin.
"i'd have come if you texted me," he hums, "'m always up, anyway. you know i was beating suguru's ass in mortal combat? he owes me a burger."
"you can afford one yourself, idiot," you huff, making him chuckle. something about the low rumble of his chest against your cheek makes the tears flow a little faster—not because you feel worse, but because it's safe enough that you can.
sometimes, you forget gojo isn't that spoiled and whiny handful you love to call him. sometimes, you're reminded that he's used to being alone, that carrying emotions enough for two is his forte. your cheek presses harder against his chest, like you could bury yourself inside of him like that, like hiding away in his ribcage is where you're safest from the rest of the world. maybe it is—maybe all you need is him to make it safe.
"who's got my baby crying the night before an 8 am class?" he asks softly, “i’ll punch ‘em.”
“what if i say you, will you punch yourself?”
“for you, always,” he nods seriously.
he knows how to ask these things like that: like it's not heavy, like you can make a light-hearted joke or two so that you're not drowning in your own vulnerability. sometimes, you forget that gojo is no stranger to hiding his own vulnerability, that he knows how to hide it under a playful grin and a cheeky laugh.
"that group assignment's due soon and no one's done anything yet but me, and i had to pick up an extra shift to cover for someone, and that quiz coming up is apparently super hard, and my electricity bill was high this month and i don't know why, and....and—"
"okay," he hums, "the electricity might've been me," he says with a quiet chuckle, "i always forget to turn the lights off. I'll handle it, yeah?"
"but—"
"it's not paying for you," he cuts you off, "it's paying you back. there's a difference. now c'mon. i make good hot chocolate."
"it's out of a packet," you sniffle, lips curled into a pout as his thumb swipes away at your tears. he traces the swell of your cheek before pinching it lightly, making you huff.
"hey," he gasps, "it's special because i put extra chocolate in it! it's my secret ingredient."
"it's not a secret if it's the main ingredient, toru," you mumble, letting his fingers thread with yours as he tugs you along to follow him.
"do you just live to correct me?" he whines, "can't i have one thing?"
and when he hears that soft, breathy little giggle from you, he smiles to himself, the ache of his chest calming just a little. you think gojo could always do that if he tried—pull a small laugh or two out of you even if the world was crumbling around you, keep your lips curved up even as everything goes wrong.
he's enough to forget about that damn project, and that extra shift, and that absurd quiz, and that distressing bill. maybe it's in the way he makes the whipped cream look like a crooked heart in your mug, or the way he burns his tongue as he takes a sip too fast, or the way he swings your arm as he drags you to his room, or the way he wriggles his brows at you as he takes his shirt off before bed, or the way he presses that delicate, sweet, careful little kiss to your forehead as you lay on his chest.
because he has to be enough, he thinks as he holds you, he has to be good enough for you that he outweighs every bad thing you'll ever deal with. he wonders if you know you're it for him, if you know that no one else could fill the spot you've wormed your way into unknowingly. he realizes it that night you hold him, the same night you didn't scold him for ruining your sleep, the same night he finds his way to you when it feels like every road is blocked.
and when the roads are blocked you find your way to him too. so he lays quietly under your cheek, feeling your fingers trace those slow hearts into his skin as he hears you murmur, "i think you're it for me too, toru."
his brows furrow—and then he realizes you must have heard him that night, just like he's hearing you now. a small part of him wants to laugh at the odds, at the way you both can't bring yourselves to say it when you're sure you'll hear each other. the other part of him thinks maybe you were always supposed to find each other, that you were always meant to stay awake and hear hushed words that are supposed to be secrets.
but then you tilt your head up, meeting his eyes, like you know he's awake. oh, he realizes, you've always known, haven't you?
"oh yeah?" he asks, "what if someone cuter and funnier comes along?"
you giggle—not one trace of stress or fear or defeat on your features, not with him there. "i met suguru and still chose you," you tease, making his gasp in disbelief.
"that's so mean," he whines, "i made you hot chocolate with extra chocolate! you can't say my best friend is cuter. and for the record, i'm way funnier than him."
"i'm kidding," you grin, pinching his cheek. "i love you. thank you," you add quietly.
"love you too," he kisses your temple. sometimes, gojo forgets what it was like before you—and he doesn't really want to remember.
Tumblr media
atp rich boy! gojo is just his own character to me sjfjsjfj i’ve just created a whole new dude in my head with the same irritating blue eyes
6K notes · View notes
cordeliawhohung · 3 months
Text
Leftovers [1/3]
Simon Riley x fem!Reader | a non-canon addition to my mafia!141 series |
part 2 | part 3
warnings: unhealthy thrupple relationship, hurt/some comfort, slight dub-con, possessive Simon, smut, (f!recieving oral, fingering, p in v) 6.5k wc
Mr. and Mrs. Price don't know how to take care of you properly. Simon is hellbent on saving you, no matter the means.
Tumblr media
The first and only rule that came with living with the Prices was that no matter how much you thought otherwise, they didn’t really love you.
It didn’t matter how sweetly Mrs. Price kissed your forehead, her lips would never grace yours, and despite how deliciously Mr. Price would pump his fingers into your cunt he would never bless you with the opportunity to take his cock. Above all else, they first belonged to one another before ever belonging to you. All you were good for was being their sweet little pet, nothing but a catalyst for their pleasure; their favorite aphrodisiac. 
There were worse things in the world to be, and being a pet wasn’t all that bad. The Prices kept a roof over your head and gave you meals at least three times a day, if not more. Every now and then while Mr. Price was away at work, you and Mrs. Price would fall asleep on the couch together. Hours later you would wake up with your head on her chest, but you wouldn’t dare to stir her awake because the sound of her heart beating was more captivating than anything that droned on the television. 
But she would always wake up when Mr. Price came home, and she’d drag you off to the bedroom where they’d strip you bare like some spectacle. Mrs. Price’s lips would devour every inch of your skin, kissing your neck, chest, and breasts; kissing everything except for you. Meanwhile, Mr. Price would fuck his fingers into you and growl every time his wife giggled at your moans. His cock would harden in his pants, a sight that you would never be able to see, and just as you came undone on his fingers his lips would always find their way to her instead of you. 
They would laugh and giggle as you squirmed underneath them and coo about how adorable you were. How soft and pliant you were for them, such a good and well behaved pet. They would kiss your body a few more times before tucking you in for the night and leaving you alone to do their own lovemaking elsewhere. That’s how it always ended. Always the lover, never the loved, but that was okay. At least you weren’t alone. 
Things started changing when Mr. Riley showed up. 
He showed up at the house one day by invitation from Mr. Price and nearly scared you half to death. Like a ghost, he seemingly appeared in the living room one evening and took up all the space on the loveseat. Perhaps that’s what had intimidated you at first, just the sheer size of him. He stood taller than Mr. Price did, and the bulging muscles of his body was proof he could rip you in half if he so pleased. Then there were the faded scars on his face, the ruggedness of his features and the piercing expression in his dark brown eyes. He looked at you like you were a meal ready to be eaten. Or, maybe you just wished that he would. 
Mr. Riley was a quiet man, you learned. He hardly spoke throughout dinner and when he did he was rather short and blunt with his responses. Though he was a man of few words, everything he said seemed to have some sort of meaning. There was something about his voice that made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end and you nearly choked on your food at the sensation. It wasn’t at all unpleasant, and if anything the deep timbre of his voice was rather soothing, and you liked the teasing nature of his banter with Mr. Price. Perhaps you enjoyed it too much. 
There must have been something about the way you looked at Mr. Riley that caught attention. Truly, you meant no harm by it. Art littered his arms in the form of dark tattoos that you couldn't pull your eyes from because you had never seen ink cover the skin of someone so beautifully before. Never seen anyone quite capture the well formed muscle and veins like had been done on Mr. Riley’s arms. And really, the scars on his face and his crooked nose intrigued you. There were stories waiting to be uncovered, literature that hid behind the depths of his eyes. You just wanted to read it. That was all it was, you swore it. 
After plates had been cleaned and the table was cleared away, you learned you were not as subtle as you thought you were with your minor infatuation with your guest. Not even your intense stare at the TV screen as you pretended to pay attention to the movie Mrs. Price had picked out was able to throw suspicion off of you. Just as you had gotten settled on the sectional next to Mr. Price, you felt a hand rest on your shoulder, quickly followed by a hot breath on your ear. 
“Pet,” Mr. Price whispered, “my friend looks lonely over there. Why don’t you keep him company?” 
His proposition made you tense against his side and he chuckled at your failed attempt at keeping cool. Keep Mr. Riley company? Once more your eyes found their way to him and you felt your throat tighten at the thought. Were you supposed to sit by him? Entertain him? No, that felt wrong. You belonged to the Prices, not their friend. Then again, you were instructed to keep the man company, and good pets do as they’re told. 
Without so much as a word you rose from your spot on the sectional and quickly made your way to the loveseat Mr. Riley had settled himself on. It was difficult not to fall into the gravity of him when you sat next to him as his weight shifted the cushions, giving you no choice but to all but lean into him. You heard his quiet hum in surprise, as if he hadn’t expected you to just so blatantly sit next to him. You caught him look at you for a short moment, but you kept your eyes glued to the TV as if he was never there to begin with, and eventually he looked away. 
Embarrassment. It was the only word you could think of to describe how you felt sitting next to that man. Conversing with others wasn’t exactly your forte, it’s why you agreed to throw your old life away when Mrs. Price invited you into a relationship with her and her husband. They would take care of you, and you wouldn’t have to be perceived and go out and about in the world. They knew full well of that; perhaps that was their way of having some fun with you. 
Things were fine until halfway through the movie when Mr. Riley put his arm around you. There was nothing you could do but fall against his side as his firm hand settled against your waist. He held you close to him as if he had no intention of letting you go, and yet acted as if he had never done so in the first place as his attention stayed fully trained on whatever boring movie droned in the background. Blood gushed in your ears and panic settled into your chest. Surely that had broken some sort of rule, and yet when you glanced over to the Price’s with wide eyes, you realized that they couldn’t even care less. 
So you took a deep breath in some attempt to calm yourself, and once the blood settled in your veins, you realized that you could hear Mr. Riley’s heart. Each beat was strong and steady as if it had never wavered throughout its entire existence, and its reverberations were so strong you could feel it pulse throughout your own body. You took another deep breath, this time more content, and realized you rather liked the smell of him too. Some sort of dark, soft aroma mixed with the faint scent of cigarettes. It was comforting, perhaps the most calm you had felt in a long while. 
“Cute, isn’t she?” 
It wasn’t until Mrs. Price spoke that you realized you had fallen asleep like that, tucked into the side of a man you hardly knew. Cold hands pulled you away from the warmth that was Mr. Riley, and half awake you were brought to your room without the chance to glance at him from over your shoulder. Despite it all, Mrs. Price cooed at you while she laid you down in your bed and tugged the blankets over your body with a simple kiss to your forehead. 
“Goodnight, pet,” she cooed before closing the door behind her. 
That night you fell asleep alone in your cold bed while dreaming about the warmth Mr. Riley had given you. It was something you could only ever pray for when craving something from the Prices, and yet he had given it to you so willingly, as if you didn’t deserve anything less. Maybe it was unfair of you to compare the people who had given you so much to a man who you hardly knew. Friendly. That’s all he was. But it didn’t end there. Every time Mr. Price invited him over, he always directed you to Mr. Riley’s side eventually, talking about how lonely he looked, or that you should be a good host to him. 
Soon enough it got to the point where you didn’t even need prompting; you already knew your place was next to Mr. Riley. Curled against his side, hanging off his arm, even sitting on his lap, in one instance. Each touch that he gave you seared across your skin, but it was always respectful, nearly too respectful. Fingertips always gliding along your waist but never dipping low enough to caress your hips or grope your ass, nor high enough to brush against the underside of your breasts. His touch always left you craving more, and yet that was something he didn’t seem to intend on giving you.
He did, however, give you a new name. Sweetheart, he called you. It was something he whispered to you at first from the safety of the confines of his arms, as if he worried Mr. Price would overhear him and reprimand him for it. Then he became a bit more brave. He called you sweetheart when he asked you to pass him the salt at dinner, and then again when you eventually fell asleep on the couch and he offered to carry you to your room. Some strange part of you wished he stayed with you that night, but you knew that thought alone made you a bad pet, wanting anyone other than the people you belonged to. 
But the thing was, the more warmth Mr. Riley showed you, the colder the Price's home felt, because even after all that time, it wasn’t really your home. 
“Hey, sweetheart.” 
Loud music and even louder people caged you into that VIP room, suffocating you to the point you nearly passed out. It didn’t help that Mrs. Price had dressed you up like her personal doll, slathering makeup on your face and throwing you in a skimpy dress, you hardly recognized yourself in the mirror. And still, despite it, Mr. Riley had found you and settled on the spot next to you in the conversation pit. 
“Mr. Riley,” you greeted as you uncomfortably pulled at the skirt of your dress. 
“Mrs. Price dress you up in that?” he asked.
You half expected him to wrap his arm around you like he did every other time the two of you were close to one another, but he didn’t. Perhaps there were too many prying eyes nearby and he didn’t want to spark any rumors. Either way, his presence alone was comforting enough. You always hated going to Mr. Price’s club, and that night was no exception. Too loud, too many eyes, you were always out of place. 
“Was it that obvious?” you asked with a half-hearted chuckle. 
“Just doesn’t seem like you,” he responded gruffly. 
Of course not. Extravagant things weren’t meant for a pet. “Yeah. Probably not.” 
Even from a distance you could still make out the faint scent of him. That warm musk mixed with tobacco had started to smell like home. And it was wrong, you were sure of it by that point. At what point did Mr. Riley become more comforting than the man and woman you lived with? But at that moment, with so many people crowding you, you didn’t care. Closing your eyes, you blocked out everything else around you except for him. There was no music, no mingling guests, no rancid scent of alcohol; it was just you and him. 
Until the sudden sound of clapping brought you back to reality, anyway. Your eyes shot open and you were met with the same view as before, just more still. A quick glance around revealed everyone staring at Mr. and Mrs. Price, who stood at the front of the room, all cooing and cheering and clapping for them. They held one another as a few people rushed up to talk to them, where you heard squealing and several pats on the back. Confused, you turned to Simon with your head tilted to the side like a curious dog. 
“What happened?” you asked. 
With a simple nod of his head, Mr. Riley gestured up to the couple at the front of the room. “They just announced Mrs. Price’s pregnancy,” he said. 
Those words left his mouth so simply. So nonchalantly. As if you should have known. 
You should have known. But you didn’t. Because no matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise, they didn’t really love you. 
You’d forgotten the first and only rule.
You didn’t know how you ended up on the terrace, you just stopped running when the cold night air hit your skin. Despite the way your tears muddled your vision, everything became painfully clear. This was their plan all along. To get pregnant, to start their life and continue it without you. It’s why they never kissed you, only ever played with you, refused to fuck each other in your presence; you were always meant to be disposable. Why continue to take care of a pet with a child on the way? 
And it hurt because you knew you’d never have that. Never obtain that unconditional love, a kiss on the lips, a cock in your cunt, a child in your arms, because you had been the Price’s plaything. Their pet who never dared to bare her teeth. You’d never be the sweet little wife, only some poor, skittish animal that only knew how to play. But you craved it so bad you swore you’d die. You wanted to be someone’s wife, someone’s lover, to be loved, to have kids and a home that wasn’t cold as ice. 
That life just wasn’t for you.
“You alright, sweetheart?” 
Somehow, Mr. Riley always seemed to find you. It was as if some invisible string had been tied between the two of you, and no matter how knotted it got he would always make his way back to you. Unsure if you should welcome his presence or not, you kept your hands firmly on the terrace railing and your red eyes focused out on the city in front of you. Your tears blurred the sparkling lights so much that you could nearly confuse them with stars if you squinted hard enough, yet that realization did nothing to quell the anxiety and terror that ate away at your stomach. 
“I’m alright,” you pitifully assured, although you weren’t too convincing. 
Mr. Riley’s hand touched the exposed skin of your back where his thumb started to rub small circles into your flesh. You nearly crumbled at the contact as you were drowned in the overwhelming urge to throw yourself at him, to beg to be loved even if only for a short while. Instead, your grip on the railing only tightened as you focused all your energy into not letting another tear fall. 
“John told me to watch you for the night. Take you back to my place,” he said softly. 
His words weren’t surprising. Sending you off to spend the night with him was just the next step to getting rid of you. Why would they want you in the home when they’d have someone new to prepare for? You were certain your room would be turned into a nursery before long. After a moment, you turned to face him and you did your best to muster your strongest of smiles as you ignored the stinging behind your eyes. He looked at you with such pity that you nearly broke into tears once more. 
“Lead the way.”
It had been so long since you had visited someone that you forgot what it was like to walk into a room and not have every inch of it memorized. Mr. Riley’s apartment was something you didn’t recognize, yet it wasn’t completely unfamiliar. In a vague sort of way, it smelled like him, and that was enough to calm your nerves and silence the pain that festered in your stomach. It was rather plain as far as decorations went, but it was cozy and warmer than anyplace else you had been for quite some time, and that was more than enough for you. 
First order of business was getting you a glass of water, something Mr. Riley took care of right away. Such a small gesture, and yet it had your heart swelling in an odd and unfamiliar way. Still, you were thankful for something to soothe your sore throat, and the two of you sat in silence on the couch as he ensured that you drank every last drop. 
“Do you wanna change into somethin’ more comfortable?” he questioned when you handed him your empty glass. 
“I don’t… have a change of clothes,” you said meekly. 
“You can wear some of mine,” he insisted.
Something within you wanted to decline. Wearing his clothes certainly broke some sort of rule, and you doubted that the Prices would be happy with you for it. But then there was a pang of sorrow that echoed throughout your chest, a painful reminder that you no longer belonged to them, and probably hadn’t for quite some time. 
Like a lost dog, you followed behind Mr. Riley until you reached his bedroom. His bed was bigger than you had anticipated it to be, significantly bigger than yours, and it was well made. A dark duvet covered the expanse of the mattress, and when you sat on the edge of it you sunk into it as if it welcomed you home. Maybe if you laid back on it you could fall asleep and never have to face the painful truth of the reality you found yourself trapped in. 
It didn’t take him long to fish out a simple shirt and a pair of drawstring shorts for you to change into, but when Mr. Riley turned to face you, it was as if he had turned to stone. Maybe it was the tear-smudged makeup stains on your face, or the fact that he hadn’t seen you look so content until you sat there on his bed, but he looked at you with such intense pity your chest ached. Eventually he got his body to listen to him and he carefully approached you and set the clothes on the mattress next to you. 
“I’m sorry,” he said unprompted. 
“For what?” you asked, eyebrows drawing together. 
“That they abandoned you.” 
Hearing it outloud was more excruciating than the initial realization. Abandoned. Tossed aside. Just a spare. Your chest ached so fiercely it felt as if your body split in two, and there was nothing you could do to stop the tears and sobs from flowing forth. It was pitiful and pathetic, and you hated how terribly small you felt. There were so many tears inside of you that you could wipe the earth clean with them, yet as you cried you didn’t feel any less dirty or used. 
Then the bed sunk down next to you, and instead of sitting on the mattress you had been scooped up into Mr. Riley’s arms and into his lap. His arms were the only thing that held you together in that moment, and he carefully tucked you underneath his chin and squeezed all the sorrow from your body. A cautious kiss pressed into the top of your head, slow and wary as if the very act itself was forbidden. When you didn’t protest, he kissed again, and then again, as if he couldn’t get enough. It was the closest thing to being loved you ever felt, and that realization only broke you further. 
“I just… I just wanted what they have,” you admitted once your sobs had dwindled to small hiccups. “I always thought that they’d let me be a part of it eventually. But I’ve been waiting so long and then… then they get pregnant without telling me and I realized I’ll never be good enough. Never enough to be kissed, or held, or loved. That’s all I wanted.” 
After placing one final kiss against the top of your head, Mr. Riley carefully moved your face away from his chest to tilt your head up to force you to look at him. Irritated from crying, your eyes were a bright pink shade, and so terribly swollen you had difficulty opening them fully. Still, his thumb smoothed over your mascara-stained cheek and you felt his grip grow tighter around you. 
“You deserve so much more than what they did to you,” he whispered, his whisky scented breath fanned across your face. “They were selfish, yeah? Dunno how they could be. First time I laid eyes on you I wanted you. Wanted to love you, to prove that you’re worthy of it.”
A few more fat tears rolled down your cheeks at his words just for him to quickly wipe them away. You had never received such kind and comforting words from anyone before, least of all the Prices. But his words held meaning, you knew they did. How could he look at you so softly and lie? No, it was impossible. His words were true and you could feel your want grow in the dark cavern of your stomach. 
“Mr. Riley…” you said at a loss for anything to say.
“Simon,” he corrected. “Say my name and I’m all yours, sweetheart. I’ll give you that love, that life, you deserve.” 
Maybe it was wrong to want him as badly as you did. Something dark and primal inside of you craved him and every inch of his tattooed skin, and yet you felt shame for feeling so. But why? You had been abandoned. A bit of comfort was the least bit you deserved. 
“Simon,” you whispered.
His lips crashed into yours not even a second later, and the feeling nearly had you sobbing into his mouth. It felt so pure, so overwhelming. Finally, you could taste someone. Taste the spice of whiskey and the smoke of cigarettes rather than just the salt from your tears. By instinct your arms wrapped around his neck and you pulled yourself closer to him as if you wouldn’t be satisfied until you were nestled in the warmth of his chest inside of his ribcage. 
Eventually, your bodies collided with the mattress and you found yourself caged in by Simon’s arms as he hovered over you. His tongue slipped into your mouth and you felt him groan into you like he had never had such a tasty meal. Then his lips began to wander, and he kissed along your jawline, neck, and further down to your stomach. It was the first time someone kissed your body and it felt like you were being given something rather than having something taken away. 
“So gorgeous,” he whispered against your stomach. His hands dipped underneath the short skirt of your dress and pushed it up over your hips, exposing your panties. You let out a shaky breath as he kissed your clit through your underwear, and you realized you had never had someone’s mouth on you like that before. “Wanna taste you, sweetheart. Tell me I can.” 
It was strange to have someone ask permission before doing something with you, and you felt your throat grow dry at the thought. Strange emotions swirled like a storm in your head where sorrow mixed with desire among other terrible conflicting emotions, and all you could muster was a simple nod. You just wanted it all to stop, for him to take away the pain no matter the cost. 
“Need you to use your words,” Simon mumbled against your heat. 
“Yes!” you spoke. The word erupted out of you with little regard for any of those confusing feelings muddling your mind. “Please…”
With a swift yank Simon pulled your panties past the swell of your hips and you raised your legs into the air to let him pull them fully off of you. After tossing them somewhere behind him, he lowered himself onto the mattress and kissed your cunt once more, this time fully bare, which sent a jolt throughout your body. He hardly gave himself the time to admire your body before his tongue began to greedily swipe along your clit. It felt so foreign and unfamiliar yet so intense you found your legs instinctively squeezing shut. Simon only chuckled against you as he pressed his hands on the inside of your thighs to keep himself from suffocating too soon. 
There was nothing you could do to stop the way your back arched off the bed in pure bliss. Already he had given you more pleasure in a few moments than you had received in your entire relationship with the Prices, and you bit into your lip as you mumbled out sweet nothings into the heavy air above you. Once you had grown wet enough with his spit and your own arousal, Simon carefully slipped a finger into your heat and you gasped at the sensation. You had never felt so full before and your muscles pulsed around him in greedy response. Despite all the pain and heartache you experienced that night, nothing could drown out the overwhelming mantra of more that reverberated throughout your entire body. 
When Simon pulled away from you, your first instinct was to sit up and pull him back to you, but you paused when you saw the way he looked at you. Dark, heavy eyes pierced through you, and you watched in awe as he sat back and slid his shirt off his body in one swift motion. He was so big. Hardened muscle covered with a thick layer of skin and healthy layer of fat, he collapsed on top of you where his lips were on yours once more. His taste was different this time. It wasn’t just whiskey and cigarettes. There was this earthy sapor mixed with it, and it took you a moment to realize that you tasted yourself on his lips. 
Then something ripped. Threads of cloth tore a part, and you realized you could no longer feel the dress around your body anymore. Whatever clothing you had worn had been replaced by Simon’s chest pressing against yours, and the skin to skin contact made your head spin. 
“Don’t need that anymore,” Simon mumbled against your lips. “Don’t need anythin’ of theirs anymore, yeah?” 
You nodded in agreement until you remembered what he said earlier about using your words. “Yeah,” you breathed. 
His lips descended down to the soft tissue of your neck while he started to grind his hips against yours. The rough fabric of his jeans were all too stimulating against your needy and swollen clit, and you whined into Simon’s neck as you writhed underneath him. 
“Do you want more?” he asked as he continued to grind his hardening bulge against your sex. “I’ll give you anythin’. Just gotta ask for it.” 
“You,” you blurted out without so much as a second thought. “Please Simon, I need you.”
There was no more time to waste. With one hand, Simon reached down and unzipped his pants where he released his painfully hardened cock. You felt as he teasingly ran his leaky tip along your slit, smearing precum against you until he carefully dipped down into your hole. Hardly even an inch inside of you and you realized he was significantly girthier than his fingers were, and you found your head falling back against the mattress with a moan at the stretch of him. 
“So goddamn perfect,” Simon grunted as he continued to push deeper and deeper into you. “Gonna give you the whole world. Anythin’ you want. Deserve so much more than them, fuckin’ christ, sweetheart.” 
More tears poured down your face by the time he bottomed out. It was all just too much, so much anguish and love melding into one confusing feeling in your mind. Yet Simon kissed away every single tear as he began to carefully thrust into you. Each time he moved in you an all consuming wave of pleasure rippled through your body, forcing moans to mix in with your cries in some sort of lamentable symphony. 
“I know, I know,” Simon cooed as he placed a fat kiss against your cheek. “You’re mine now, yeah? My girl. Gonna treat you properly. I’ve got you, love.” 
Through it all, he was so soft with you, so warm, and you felt that heat begin to pool in your stomach. Every thrust into you marked you, it scratched away the essence of everything the Prices had done to you, what they didn’t do to you. Every empty space that had collected dust inside of you was filled by Simon and the searing passion he pumped into you. That was all you had ever wanted. To be seen, to be touched, to be loved. You had finally found it. 
When you came, you did so with a sob. Muscles seized and you wrapped your arms so tightly around Simon’s neck he had no choice but to collapse against your chest as he continued to thrust into you. Your tears soaked into his hair as you sloppily kissed the top of his head, body still craving more of him despite the endorphins that ravaged your body. 
“There she is,” Simon sighed, his voice a low rumble. “Doin’ alright, sweetheart?”
“Please,” you begged. “I need it. Need you to come, please Simon.” 
Your plea sent him toppling over the edge and he slammed his hips against you one final time before he held himself there with a thick and strained groan. His cock twitching inside you was an unfamiliar feeling and yet you relished the way he filled you, warm cum soothing an ache only he could tame. Your grip around his neck loosened as you felt yourself melt into the duvet. All that pleasure, that love, finally got your mind to fall quiet. 
Once Simon managed to catch his breath, he gently pulled out of you before falling next to you. Strong arms maneuvered you onto your side where he pulled you against his chest where he held you firmly against him. As usual, his heart pounded strong and steady in his chest, and the longer the two of you laid there the more calm it grew. Whatever tears you needed to cry had all fallen, and there was nothing but pure bliss that settled over you as you nuzzled against his body. 
“I love you,” Simon said. He said it softly, as if it was a secret. Something special that only you could know. 
You couldn’t remember the last time someone whispered that phrase to you. 
“I love you, too.” 
That night was the first night in years that you didn’t fall asleep alone, and when you woke up you realized it wasn’t a dream. His arms stayed wrapped tightly around you throughout the night, and you woke to the scent of his musk and you couldn’t help but smile. Really smile. It was real and you were there and you were loved. You buried your face further into his chest and he reacted in kind by pulling you closer. 
“Mornin’ sweetheart,” he hummed. 
Humming back, you stretched your limbs with a groan that left him chuckling and he placed a quick kiss on your forehead. He sat up in bed and pulled away from you, which left you whining, until he reached down towards the foot of the bed to grab the clothes you weren’t able to change into the previous night. 
“What do you want for breakfast?” he questioned as he handed you his shirt. 
Such a simple question, really, and yet it felt so much more important than that. This was the conversation lovers had in the morning. Contemplating, you took the clothes from him and set them beside you as you tilted your head and shrugged. “Whatever you feel like making.” 
A small smile pulled at his lips, crooked and scarred, as he glanced toward the bedroom door for a short moment before his attention returned to you. “Alright, I’ll go get started. Take your time, yeah?” 
Simon Riley made you feel like a princess and you held nothing in your heart for him but adoration as you watched him slip out of the room, still half naked. Just like he had said, you took your time getting ready, and even then it still wasn’t all that long. You fixed up your appearance as best as you could without a mirror before slipping his shirt over your head. It was long enough that it fell down to your mid thighs, and because of that you didn’t bother with the shorts, or your still slightly damp underwear from the night before, either. 
Sizzling bacon and freshly warmed toast greeted you by the time you meandered into the living room, and you smiled to yourself at the sight of Simon cooking in the kitchen. You drooled at the way the sinewy muscles in his back flexed as he worked, and you couldn’t fight away that odd arousal that bloomed between your legs. Deciding that it was a good idea to get some food in your system before attempting to initiate anything physically demanding, you instead sat yourself on the couch.
Your phone sat face down on the coffee table in front of you, and your stomach dropped at the sight of it. Something twisted in your gut at the thought of unlocking it and seeing no messages, at realizing just how little the Prices surely missed you. Yet, you needed to bite the bullet. How were you supposed to start your new life with Simon if you were still holding onto the ghosts of your past? 
With a shaky hand, you reached for the item and quickly turned it on. You prepared yourself for its mocking screen, for the heartbreak you knew you would be able to mend later, and yet it still wasn’t enough. Nothing could have readied you for the twenty missed phone calls and the countless texts from both Mr. and Mrs. Price. Begging to know where you were at. Asking if you were safe. Pleading with you to come home. Saying that if you hadn’t responded by noon they would call the cops in fear that the worst had happened to you. 
Your throat dried out and you couldn’t stop your lips from trembling. Why did they do that? Was it supposed to be some sort of sick joke? Proof that no matter how far away from them you got you could never escape the hold they had on you? No, you listened to the voicemails. Listened to the way Mrs. Price’s voice quivered when asking if you were alright, when she begged you to come home, and you nearly sobbed. 
Something was wrong.
“Simon?” you asked as you snuck into the kitchen behind him. 
“Yeah?” he asked as he turned around to face you. 
He froze the moment he saw your face. He could read the trepidation on your face as if it were the morning paper, and he quickly placed down his cooking utensils. You hated the way he looked at you with such care and yet with some sort of knowledge, as if he already predicted what you were about to ask him. 
“Did you lie to me last night? About Mr. Price asking you to take me home with you?” you asked.
“Yes.” 
His response came quick and without hesitation and that almost made things worse. You wished he had paused for a moment to think about the way that word would shatter you, and yet he didn’t. Tears pooled in the corner of your eyes and you found your face falling into your hands in disbelief. He lied to you. He fucking lied. 
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asked as his hands brushed against your shoulders. 
“They’re going to be so mad at me,” you cried as you pressed your palms into your eyes. It had to be a cruel joke. You wished it was. They hadn’t given you up at all, and you were going to have to pay the price for betraying their trust. 
“Hey… hey, look at me,” Simon ordered as he pulled your hands from your face. The way his hands engulfed your wrists was almost laughable, and you didn’t bother to fight against him. “I thought we agreed that you’re mine now. You’re mine, and I’m yours, yeah?”
“But you lied,” you retorted. 
“They were neglectin’ you!” he corrected, and his voice boomed with such strength you nearly cowered. “Would you have followed me if I hadn’t said that to you last night? Or would you be stuck in that house with partners who wouldn’t even tell you that they were havin’ a damn kid? No, you’re mine now.” 
One of his hands dropped down between your legs, and you gasped as your back came in contact with the counter. He palmed at your naked cunt, felt the way his cum oozed out of you at the gentle pressure of his fingers and the sudden tensing of your muscles. 
“Do you really think they love you enough to take you back like this? With my cum inside of you and the taste of you still on my tongue?” he questioned. “I did what I did to save you. I was tired of seein’ them treat you like that. I’m not lettin’ that happen again.” 
Words failed you and all you could do was stare up at him and cry. It was all so wrong and yet something in the back of your mind screamed that he was right. He was right because in one night he had given you everything you had all but begged of them to do for you in all the years you had been together. Even if they still wanted you, maybe they really didn’t deserve you. But you would still have to face them eventually. Admit that you were running away, that you didn’t belong to them anymore, and that thought terrified you.
Giving up, you collapsed against him and allowed all your anguish to spew from your eyes. Just like the previous night, his hold on you was strong and caring, and he did so without hesitation. After all, you were his girl. He saved you, and he had no intention of letting you go. 
2K notes · View notes
xxsabitoxx · 7 months
Text
Baby Me
Satoru x Fem!Reader
Warnings: fluff and nothing else.
A/N: too much is going on in the Gojo realm, both in the anime currently and the manga, so let’s take a minute to forget and ease the pain with some soft Toru~
Word count: 1.2k
Tumblr media
His body is aching, every atom that makes up his being is begging for sleep. But that won’t stop Satoru from showering, not wanting to dirty your shared bed with his sweat. Or even worse, wake you up cause he smells of sweat and blood. So, Satoru drags his half-awake body through your shared apartment, stumbling into the bathroom unceremoniously and turning on the hot water. He was swaying on his feet by the time he got his ruined uniform off and into the hamper, eyes barely open as he stepped into the steam filled shower. 
Satoru wasn’t even sure how long he had stood under the current, blood and dirt running off of his body in rivets. It stuck out harshly against the white tiles of the shower floor, not that he could really care at that moment. He’d just feel bad if you had to clean it up in the morning. It wasn’t until someone’s presence entered the bathroom that Satoru snapped out of his daze just a bit. He would have noticed them sooner, but his guard was always down when it came to you. “Toru? Why didn’t you wake me up?” You mumble softly, shedding your clothing with the intention of getting in with him. 
“It’s nearly three in the morning, baby. You need your sleep.” Groggy and full of exhaustion, it made your heart ache a bit. “Nonsense, let me help you clean up.” Satoru smiled a bit, grimacing as even that proved to be a bit of a tiring task. “You’re too kind to me.” But you merely hushed him, stepping under the hot water and reaching for a loofa and his favourite soap. “I love you, Toru. There is no such thing as being too kind with you.” You dumped a generous amount of soap into the white loofa before sticking it under the water again. “Now let me wash you.” 
There were things far more intimate than sex, Satoru didn’t realize that until he started dating you. Moments like this, for example, where you so tenderly scrubbed his skin clean of every impurity he had. Standing naked together under the hot water, in the early hours of the morning, as if you were the only two people on earth. Satoru craved these moments just as much as he craved you. “None of this blood is your own.” You laughed softly, placing a kiss on his spine now it was clean. “I’d hope.” Was all he could muster, nearly falling asleep where he stood because your touch was so tender.
You laughed softly before placing another kiss, trailing them down his spine until you reached the base. Satoru shivered at the feeling, your hand holding his hip as you told him to turn around. He did as you asked, giving you a lazy smile as you began to scrub the front of his body with the loofa. “I’ll shampoo your hair next.” He simply nodded, eyes shutting as he let the hot water run down his back. You were careful as you moved, alternating pressure depending on what part of him you were scrubbing. You knew he was rather ticklish so you’d be more careful when scrubbing his abdomen. But you also knew he enjoyed the way the loofa felt on his sore arms when you scrubbed a little harder. 
Satoru could go on for hours about how he didn’t think he deserved this treatment. He couldn’t even begin to understand how he had gotten so lucky, fighting curses all night just to come home to his beautiful girlfriend would be enough. And yet, you pull yourself out of bed regardless of the hour and shower with him. You scrub his body until he is clean, wash his hair until his shoulders go slack from the feeling, dry him off with a fluffy towel and shower him in kisses. 
He wasn’t sure what he had done in a past life to get this lucky, but he thanked the stars every night for giving you to him. 
“You’re going to fall asleep while standing.” You set the loofa down, all finished after scrubbing his body clean. All Satoru did was hum in response, bending down to press his forehead into your shoulder. “Let me scrub your hair and then we can dry off and go to bed, my big, strong boy.” You teased as his arms wrapped around your middle, hugging you tight. “Toru~ let me wash your hair and we’ll be done.” He only hugged you tighter, with a sigh, you reached around him the best you could to grab his shampoo bottle. Still, he didn’t let go. 
You squeezed some of the contents on top of his head, laughing as he whined about it being cold before you started to massage the contents in. You smiled a little harder when he moved his head from your shoulder to nuzzle into your neck instead. At his height, you couldn’t understand how the position was even comfortable. Still, you scrubbed until his hair was full of sudsy bubbles. “Time to rinse.” You cooed softly, as if he was a small child. Reluctantly, Satoru straightened. With eyes still closed, he leaned back and rinsed his head. 
You took that time to quickly wash yourself, thankful you had put your hair up before getting in with him. “M’kay bub, time to get out.” His eyes opened a bit for that, nose scrunching at the use of “bub”, you found it cute. Within seconds the water was turned off and the steam began to subside, both of you stepping into the lights Satoru now deemed to be “too bright”. You babied him, wrapping him in a warm towel while you used another to ruffle his hair dry. Satoru gave a half hearted attempt to wrap you in a towel as well, but the man had begun to sway on his feet yet again, eyes fully closed as you dragged him out of the bathroom. 
“C’mon, lover boy, let’s get you dressed.” You giggled, watching his nose scrunch again but his eyes didn’t open. Satoru moved past you, dropping the towel and flopping onto the mattress. His groan of relief nearly shook the whole apartment. “Alright, clothes are a morning problem.” You concluded for him, dropping your own towel to crawl into bed beside him. You barely adjusted on the mattress before Satoru was moving to wrap you in a tight bear hug. “Cuddle me.” was all he said before promptly passing out, leaving you a bit surprised when his infinity didn’t immediately push you away.
“Huh… that's new.” 
Then again, you weren’t used to Satoru falling asleep before you. Perhaps he had learned of a way to keep it off while he slept, or maybe he had figured out a way to have it encompass both of you. Regardless, you couldn’t be bothered to dwell on the matter. You were quickly remembering that it was past three in the morning, your exhaustion was creeping up on you quickly. Now that Satoru was home and safe in your bed, you could sleep much easier. You moved the best you could in his embrace, throwing your leg over his hip and resting a hand on his side before giving up on getting any more wiggle room. “Night, Toru~” you sigh, melting into his arms. 
3K notes · View notes
emocheol · 20 days
Text
sharing the bed with seventeen
how they sleep next to you
Tumblr media
seungcheol
tucks you into his side and keeps you there all night
will not let you move, even if you complain that it’s too hot
his dramatic ass will say that he’ll die if he can’t sleep with you in his arms
pouts at you if you don’t go to bed at the same time as him
if you want to stay up later to watch tv he’ll stay up with you, falling asleep in your lap on the couch while you watch your show
“baby, just go to bed without me”
“i can’t get comfortable unless i’m with you”
jeonghan
a little shit
teases you whenever you want to cuddle up with him
but if you refuse to cuddle him he’ll pout until you cave
if you try sleeping away from him he’ll pull you over to him and smother you
loves to feel like he’s protecting you
always the big spoon, needs to be holding you instead of the other way around
“can i be the big spoon tonight?”
“no”
“but-!”
“absolutely not”
joshua
loves his personal space
literally cannot fall asleep if he’s touching someone, which he feels bad about
but at least he can sleep next to you!
will try to read you bedtime stories to make up for it
googles ‘best bedtime stories’ and ends up reading you goldilocks and the three bears
“why are you reading me a child’s bedtime story?”
“shhh we’re getting to the best part”
jun
blanket hog
you’ll have to sleep with an extra blanket next to your side of the bed so you can pull it on when you wake up in the cold
will claim that he’s not doing anything and you’re just imagining it
even when he hogs all the blankets he’s still searching for your touch
so, you might wake up cold but your hand is warm, engulfed in his
at this point you’ve stopped mentioning it to him so he doesn’t feel bad
plus the warmth of his hand is enough to show you he loves you
“i didn’t steal all the blankets again, did i?”
“nope”
hoshi
nuzzles his head in your neck
likes to be as close as possible
literally a baby tiger
so what if he feels safe in your arms? sue him
likes it when you talk about your day or tell him a story, your voice soothes him to sleep
“can you tell me the one about when you fell off your bike again?”
“honey, i’ve told you that story 10 times already”
“but it helps me sleep!”
wonwoo
surprisingly, is the little spoon
he’s sick of having to be so strong, loves being babied by you
gets sad when you go to sleep first, but he’s playing video games deep into the night, so who’s really to blame here?
but, will feel even worse if you stay up late just for him
“are you ready to sleep yet?”
“just one more round”
“fine, i’m going to sleep without you then”
“no, wait!”
jihoon
usually doesn't sleep until very late
is always working on producing and will even spend nights in his studio
when he comes home you're almost always sleeping already, he feels bad that he can't hold you and soothe you to sleep
but he opts for crawling into bed and holding you while you sleep
you'll subconsciously curl up into him, it always makes him smile
you constantly badger him about getting more sleep and he always promises that he will (he won't but he knows it eases your mind)
“when did you get back last night?”
“not too long after you fell asleep, don't worry”
(he came home after you'd been asleep for 5 hours)
minghao
doesn’t tell you that he does/doesn’t like cuddling
literally just doesn’t give you any information
some days you’ll wake up in his arms and then other days you’ll wake up about to be kicked off the bed
but, even if you wake up away from him when you try to get out of bed he’ll grab your arm and keep you there
“don’t leave me”
“i was just going to make breakfast”
“i said don’t leave me” :(
mingyu
smothers you
literally will not let you breathe
claims he needs to hold you to fall asleep, pouts if you don’t let him
you can try to put a barrier of pillows between you but you always wake up in a death grip
“you’re sleeping on the couch until further notice”
“i promise i won’t do it again!”
he does it again.
seokmin
cuddle bug ™
loves being close to you, absolutely obsessed with skinship
genuinely cannot sleep if he’s not holding you which is why it’s so hard for him to get sleep when he’s overseas
plays with your hair while you’re asleep
will not get out of bed without you, so he’ll just lay in bed and watch your sleep until you wake up
“have you been watching me sleep?”
“of course, i could never get bored of your beauty”
“you’re a sap”
“funny way of acknowledging that i’m madly in love with you”
seungkwan
big old teddy bear
sleeps peacefully as long as you two are smushed together in any kind of way
big spoon, little spoon, he doesn’t care if it’s with you
let’s you play with his hair, plays with your hair
he just loves you so much he’ll take whatever he can get
going to bed with you is his favorite time of the day
“kwannie? i’m tired, you ready for bed?”
“always”
vernon
very specific about how he sleeps
quite literally cannot sleep if he’s cuddling, also says it’s impractical
will link his pinky with yours or grab your hand in his sleep, though
if you wake up and get out of bed before him he’ll pout a little bit, he likes spending time in bed with you
your presence next to him is enough, even if you think you’re bothering his routine
“you sure i’m not messing up your sleep by being here?”
“i’d never not want to be with you”
dino
wants to be a cuddler but is a kicker
you can fall asleep in each others arms but you will be woken up by him kicking you and pushing you nearly off the bed
you’ll try and get back to a normal position with him but he will still kick you, making you grab a pillow and blanket and go sleep in the guest room
he’ll wake up to an empty and cold bed and feel absolutely horrible
will rush into your guest room and shake you awake
“did i do it again? :(”
“don’t worry about it, honey”
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
piichuu · 8 months
Text
♡ WAKING HIM UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
Tumblr media
FEATURES: baji keisuke, chifuyu matsuno, takashi mitsuya, ken ryuguji, manjiro sano, shinichiro sano
WARNINGS: mentions of potential murder, a knife, messy writing fluff, gn!reader
Tumblr media
BAJI KEISUKE
his eyes flutter open and he sits up in bed as soon as he hears the sound of someone moving downstairs. baji looks to his side just to see you aren’t there and even if anyone else’s first thought would be that you’ve just went downstairs to eat something, his first thought is that someone has come to murder you.
he rushes out of bed and grabs a pocket knife that he has by his night stand, just in case someone who he has troubles with would come to try and do something to you. the stairs creak as he walks, but he doesn’t care as his heart is currently beating out of his chest and he has already began to sweat. “i’m gonna have a fucking heart attack,” he mumbles to himself as he enters the kitchen with the knife in hand just to let out a sigh of relief when he sees you making yourself a sandwich by the kitchen counter.
you look up towards him, your eyes widening when noticing the knife he’s holding in his hands, but you soon come to the realization why. “baji, you worry too much. did you really think i was a murderer or something?” you go back to making the sandwich you were dying to eat as you woke up just ten minutes ago, not being able to fall back asleep.
he sighs and puts the knife on the kitchen counter so he can walk towards you, wrapping both of his arms around your waist from behind while hiding his face in your shoulder blade. “how could i not? it’s not often you’re up wandering around at this hour. could you not fall back asleep? you should’ve woken me up then,” he frowns and you smile after hearing him so evidently care about you. “but you were sleeping so peacefully and i didn’t want to wake you.”
you turn around in his arms and place a kiss to his cheek. “i promise, if a murderer would come inside, they wouldn’t be so loud in the kitchen.” “that doesn’t make it better, i want them to be loud so i can hear them,” he speaks and you roll your eyes but wrap your arms around his neck, flashing him a sweet smile. “but there’s no one else but us here, so there’s nothing to worry about.” “i guess, but if i would’ve had a heart attack, you would have had to pay for my medical bills.”
Tumblr media
CHIFUYU MATSUNO
some nightmares are worse than others and the worst ones are those when chifuyu is hurt or breaks up with you. it isn’t often you have them, but they seem to suddenly occur after you’ve had a bad day. all the insecurities are getting the best of you, causing those nightmares to ruin your entire night.
your eyes open and you immediately reach for chifuyu who’s laying on his side with his hand on your waist. he is more alive than ever, especially more alive than he was in the dream you just had. “chifuyu?” you whisper his name, needing to hear him respond, just to make sure everything is okay.
he stays asleep, causing the panic to once again take over. you reach for him to touch his face, it’s warm. having you move your fingers across his face slowly but surely makes his eyes flutter open as well. the weak grip he had on your waist now completely loosens as he reaches his hands up to cup your face. “what are you doing, baby? what’s the time?” he asks, looking deep into your eyes through the dark.
“you died,” you mumble, now wrapping your arms around him to stay as close as possible. “you died in my nightmare and i wanted to know you were still alive,” you sniffle, almost in relief as the panic truly got to you. how can a nightmare affect a person in such a way? chifuyu doesn’t know, but he’s aware of how much you worry about him and how he does the same for you.
“i’m alive, baby. i promise, i’m right here,” he smiles softly, pulling you close to his chest before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “don’t cry, it’s okay. it was just a nightmare, i’m right here. i’m not going anywhere,” chifuyu whispers with his lips lingering over your skin and you nod, looking at him with watery eyes before closing them and allowing yourself to relax in the security of his arms. “i’m always gonna be here, i won’t ever leave.”
Tumblr media
TAKASHI MITSUYA
it is late into the night and you’re still wide awake. it’s been hours since you first tried to fall asleep. since then you’ve been twisting and turning, causing your boyfriend’s grip around you to loosen. he’s been peacefully asleep since he first closed his eyes and at first, you thought you’d fall into deep slumber just by being in his arms, just like you always do, but tonight is different.
the entire day has been stressful due to the amounts of work and stress you’ve had to go through. it still seems like you haven’t fully calmed down which is the reason as to why you still can’t sleep and relax. usually, you wouldn’t be so selfish, but your last resort is waking mitsuya up, hoping he can help you in some way.
you only have to give him a shake by the shoulder for his eyes to open. he looks at you with half lidded eyes and wraps an arm around your waist to pull you close to his chest. “why are you awake? is it morning already?” he mumbles while pressing a kiss to your cheek. you let out a quiet sigh and shake your head, resting it against his naked chest. “can’t fall asleep.”
he furrows his eyebrows and begins to stroke your hair. “darling, you should’ve woken me up earlier. how long has it been since i fell asleep?” mitsuya brushes his fingers through your hair, his expression growing soft as he keeps looking at you in your tired state. “four hours…” “alright, do you want me to read you a book? maybe that’ll help.”
you nod slightly, not knowing if it will actually help, but at least it’s worth a try. mitsuya reaches for a book that lies on the nightstand and opens it up, starting from the beginning. one hand is holding the book as the other one keeps playing with your hair, making sure you’re as comfortable as possible. his voice is soft and gentle just as his touch.
the book itself isn’t interesting, but simply hearing the sound of your boyfriend’s comforting voice causes your eyes to slowly close and you to doze off. it doesn’t take too long for the sound of snores to fill the room as mitsuya finishes reading the first chapter, smiling at you before leaning down to kiss the top of your head. “sleep well, my love.”
Tumblr media
KEN RYUGUJI
after a few hours of sleep, you wake up to your body shivering from the lack of warmth. the blanket that was previously covering both you and the man beside you has now been taken over completely by your boyfriend who’s curled up on his side, facing you so you can see how his face is finally relaxed and not as tense as it so commonly is. you’ll have to break that peacefulness though, as he holds the cover tightly in his arms, not making it easy for you to get it back.
you sigh, sitting up in bed as you begin to poke his cheek with your pointer finger. he groans and turns a little before opening his eyes to look up at you who wants to fall back asleep as soon as possible before it’s too late. “ken, i’m cold. you stole the cover,” you mumble as he begins to slowly wake up. it takes him a few seconds to register your words, but he soon looks down at the cover he’s holding and let’s go of it, allowing you to climb under them so you can become warm again.
“thank you,” you whisper as he wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face into the crook of your neck. “stop waking me up at night,” his voice is muffled by your skin, but you roll your eyes when hearing his words. “well, last time you were literally crushing me and now you’re making me freeze to death. i have good reasons to wake you up.”
he hugs you tighter as his eyes once again grow heavy, just like yours as the warmth envelops you once again. “whatever, but you’re making breakfast tomorrow if i can’t fall back asleep,” ken mutters and you giggle, nodding your head before leaning down to kiss his temple. “alright, but if you do fall asleep again, we’ll make breakfast together.” “i guess that’s fine.”
Tumblr media
MANJIRO SANO
“mikey” you shake his shoulders lightly as you’re sitting up in bed, having been awake for the last couple of hours as the scenes from the horror movie you two watched has been imprinted on your brain. every time you’ve closed your eyes, the only thing you have been able to see are those terrifying faces.
manjiro sano is a deep sleeper so it takes a good while for you to finally wake him up, and when he eventually does, he looks around in confusion. “hm? don’t wanna wake up yet,” he mumbles while pulling you close to him. “let’s sleep in for longer, i don’t wanna get up.”
you sigh and break free from his grip. “i can’t sleep, mikey,” you admit while looking down at him. for a minute, he looks up at you with a raised brow as he doesn’t seem to understand what the problem might be, but then he chuckles lightly. “did the movie scare you that much, baby? i thought you said you weren’t scared,” he fake pouts and reaches for your hands to intertwine his fingers with yours. “do you need me to protect you? your savior is here!”
he squeezes your hands and you roll your eyes, allowing him to pull you back down so you now lay on top of him. he lets go of one of your hands and puts it in your hair instead, gently brushing through the soft strands. “it’s just those scary people that keep popping up every time i close my eyes,” you mutter and mikey smiles softly.
“well, i’m a good fighter so i’ll protect you if they come here. so even if you see them now when you close your eyes, i can talk to you to make you forget them,” he mumbles and you nod, seeming to enjoy that idea, so you close your eyes and listen to the sound of his calming voice, forcing you to forget those ugly faces that’s been on your mind for hours.
mikey keeps stroking your hair and leans in to kiss your forehead when he notices how you’re barely awake anymore. “no more horror movies from now on, i guess.”
Tumblr media
SHINICHIRO SANO
you’re straddling his lap as you poke his cheeks to wake him up from the deep slumber he’s succumbed to. his mouth is slightly open and his hair messy from twisting and turning in his sleep, but he still succeeds to wake up from all your poking. “hm? what’s wrong? are you okay?” he grabs your waist as soon as he wakes up, staring right into your eyes as worry begin to fill them.
“i’m fine shin! i just wanted to ask you something…” you mumble, looking away as your face begins to heat up now that he’s finally awake and you can ask him what you wanted. he is still looking up at you with a hint of worry in his eyes as he rubs your waist with his thumbs. “can i have kisses?” you finally ask and as soon as the question is asked, the corners of your boyfriend’s lip curl up into a grin.
he nods and puts a hand on your back to indicate for you to lay down on him. you quickly do as he asks before he cups your face and leans in to press a kiss to your lips. he doesn’t even question the fact that you woke him up for something you can get in the morning instead, he just allows your lips to mold together as he continues to kiss you for what feels like an eternity, a good eternity.
shinichiro moves from your lips to place kisses to every single part of your face. he smiles to himself when hearing the sounds of your giggles filling the dark room and his lips continue to adventure over the different areas of your face. he spends some extra time by your cheeks to then go back to your nose so he can leave a few kisses on the bridge of it. “i love you,” he mumbles before once again kissing your lips.
you hum and fully relax in his arms as the kisses never seems to stop, but they unfortunately have to so you can catch some air again. your boyfriend wraps his arms around your waist and sighs contently as you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. “go back to sleep now or you’ll be tired in the morning,” he whispers while holding you tight. “i’ll give you as many kisses as you want tomorrow.”
Tumblr media
TAG LIST: @h4nman @thisbicc
if you want to join the tag list, fill out this form <33
Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
lovebugism · 28 days
Note
i have a lot of nightmares and shake a lot when nervous. could u maybe write something abt a reader that goes through similar issues, and eddie comforts them and tries to make them feel safe? u can do whatever u like with this, i just need some fluff! :]
as someone who also has frequent nightmares, this was very self-indulgent heheh i hope you like it :D — eddie calms you down when you have a bad dream (hurt/comfort, established relationship, cw for mentions of panic attacks, 1.2k)
Eddie didn’t know he loved you until now. Like, right now.
He’d always had an inkling, at the very least, but he didn’t know for sure until he got you into his bed — bare-faced and swallowed whole in an oversized t-shirt older than you are. You share a single pillow with him despite having your own, leaving your noses mere inches apart. His tired eyes go a bit cross-eyed when he looks at you.
Despite his heavy head and heavier eyelids, he doesn’t want to stop looking at you. He doesn’t want to stop talking to you, either. He doesn’t want to fall asleep at all ‘cause he’s scared he’ll miss you too much. 
And that’s when he realizes that he’s head over heels, completely, utterly, and hopelessly in love with you.
“You asleep yet?” he whispers into the dark bedroom, lit only by the streams of silver moonlight slipping through the curtains.
You shake your head against the pillow you share with him. “No,” you mumble — voice thick with exhaustion, eyes fluttered shut.
“Good,” Eddie replies, shifting on the mattress until he melts further into it. Your cold feet entwine with his warmer ones. He exhales a contented sigh through his nose. “Me neither…”
You can’t be entirely sure who dozed off first, but you know for certain you wake up before he does. 
3:47 A.M. blinks at you in bright red numbers on the nightstand. The witching hour greets you along with a rapidly beating heart, thrumming hard against your ribcage like it’s trying to escape from its confines.
The nightmare was a vivid one when it painted the backs of your eyelids, but you can’t really remember it now. You think that might be worse. Now you don’t know why you’re so scared — you just know that you are.
Fear, that’s all you can think about now, as your body trembles with a heavy, ice-cold feeling. Fear. Panic. Dread. 
The nightmare fades. Eddie’s body, warm and comforting next to yours, becomes a much more tangible thing. But you just can’t shake the feeling it left behind. The bad dream clings to you like smoke and swallows you whole before you can blink.
You shake with the longing to hold the boy beside you. If only you could clutch onto Eddie like a life vest, or a life-sized teddy bear, maybe then you could soothe your racing heart. But you know you don’t want to wake him, just like you know you don’t want him to see you like this — so torn up over a stupid bad dream.
You sit on the edge of the mattress and try to calm yourself down. The attempt is futile. You end up with a tight chest, a pounding heart, and two cheeks damp with fat tears. 
After no longer than five minutes of trying to stave off a panic attack by yourself, do you notice the bed shifting behind you. A wide palm smooths over your trembling shoulders a second later.
Eddie squints at your shivering silhouette, trying to see you better through the darkness and bleary haze of sleep. He finds you slouched over and clawing at your chest like something’s wrong. Your choked-back sobs and quiet sniffles aren’t any less concerning.
“You okay?” the boy slurs as he sits up behind you.
“‘M sorry,” you blurt, voice wet with emotion. You don’t know exactly what you’re apologizing for. You just feel like you should. Through hitched breaths, you manage out, “I didn’t— I didn’t mean to wake you— I’m sorry.”
Eddie shakes his wild head in response. The mattress squeaks under his weight as he shifts closer to you. “It’s okay. I woke up on my own,” he tells you, even though that’s not exactly the truth. “What happened, huh? Are you okay?”
You sniffle and try to respond through feeble gulps of air. “It was just a bad dream. I’m okay—” you blubber through tears, breath catching halfway through.
With his palm pressed to your spine, Eddie can feel each of your rattling breaths as you fight to drag them in. It makes his own chest ache. Your panic is his own.
“Breathe, baby, c’mon,” he urges gently as he slips in beside you. With one hand over your trembling shoulder, he slides his other over your heart. The delicate organ patters with an inhuman vigor against his palm. 
“Gotta calm down, sweetheart,” he murmurs against your temple before pressing a kiss there. “‘Fore you heart explodes on me. Breathe, babe. You’re okay.”
Your swelling throat tightens. “I don’t feel good,” you confess through tiny whimpers, ‘cause you don’t know how else to tell him it feels like you’re dying. You put a cold, trembling hand over one of Eddie’s — the one gently cradling your heart — and fight to stay grounded.
The boy’s brows pinch with concern. “Do you feel like you’re gonna be sick?”
You think for a moment. Then shake your head.
Eddie rubs a hand up and down the length of your back. “You’re doing good, babe. Just keep breathing for me. That’s it.”
He pulls you closer, embracing you despite the awkward angle. Your shoulder presses into his chest as your head nestles between his jaw and shoulder. You rest there until it no longer feels like you’re fighting for each breath. Until your ragged sobs turn into mousy sniffles.
The first thing you think to do after you’ve calmed is apologize.
“‘M sorry,” you murmur, thick with leftover emotion.
You feel his head shake against you, untamed curls tickling your skin. “Don’t apologize. It’s okay.”
You snivel. “I feel like such a baby…”
“Everyone has bad dreams, babe. That’s life,” Eddie tells you with a lighthearted laugh. “I can’t count how many times I’ve slept on the couch after having one just so I could be closer to Wayne. Like, that’s embarrassing.”
“No, it isn’t,” you argue with a scrunched nose, cracking a small (but no less sincere) grin.
Eddie smiles at your smiling. He squeezes your shoulder with a gentle hand. “Wanna talk about it?” he offers, watching as you visibly ponder the question. You shake your head in response. He nods in understanding. “Wanna go back to sleep?”
You shake your head again, much less hesitant this time. You’re too scared to shut your eyes for longer than a blink now — lest the nightmare threaten to plague your mind again.
“Wanna sit in the kitchen with me while I make us some hot cocoa?” Eddie offers then.
You nod slowly, pursing your lips to the side of your mouth to hide the smile pulling there. You can’t help but beam, though, when he smacks a kiss to the warm apple of your cheek.
“C’mon, sweet thing,” he urges as he rises from the bed, pulling you gently with him. He guides you out of his bedroom with a warm hand cradling your smaller one. The quiet trailer fills with the sounds of creaking floorboards, bare feet shuffling against carpet, and Eddie’s tender voice.
“I’ll even pick out marshmallows from the Lucky Charms box to put in your cocoa—” he says before a yawn cuts him off. “—‘Cause that’s how much I love you.”
864 notes · View notes