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apricot-the-apricat · 5 months

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This was originally gonna be a specific scene from an rp but then i zoned out and a full nighttime background just appeared out of nowhere (the scene was in that setting but daytime) and then i was just like ok fuck it im gonna just do whatever now so yea thats how i ended up adding lighting too n here we are now

go easy on me i was fully just winging it (hah) throughout the entire piece im still tryina figure out how sai works lol

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conticentimp · 7 months

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giving head while it’s soft is heavenly actually. I love the feeling of it lightly resting on my tongue. I love being able to suckle it, gently coaxing someone into getting hard. I love watching them get hard, /feel/ them get hard in my mouth. All cos of me. I love wrapping one hand around it to hold it up while I give the tip extra attention, drawing only the tip in so I can taste them. I love flattening my tongue and licking broad stripes up the length of it, kissing it, and then taking as much as I can into my mouth. I love seeing how much I can fit down my throat before steadying myself and inching even further down, feeling it hit the back of my throat. I love holding it in my mouth for a moment, gently sucking and licking until saliva starts seeping out the corners of my mouth. I love coming back up to press a kiss to the tip, catching my breath but never taking my mouth away.

#nsft #nsft ftm #mlm nsft #trans nsft #nsft gay #queer nsft #nsft tumblr #I want to give head #so badly #it’s actually one of my favourite things to do #I hooked up with a guy recently and he was genuinely so big I could barely get the fat tip into my mouth #my jaw hurt like a bitch after but I took him all the way 😋

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lawva-girl · 3 months

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erm chat what is the appropriate reaction when you find out everyone you work with talked shit about you to your manager....

beware the essay in tags

#lol my depression is swinging around the corner #i just want to stop existing #like i dont want to care if they like me... but like genuienly idk how i could be a better supervisor than i am already #sometimes i feel like im actually going crazy on shift now cause people barely listen to me.....#but i alwas give them options #i never force them to do stuff #i literally always let them visit their fucking boyfriend and go to the bathroom #but then they turn around and ignore me #make fun of me #and like i take it in stride.. but im fucking tired #like how the fuck are you guys happy with any shift lead ever?#and like the shift they like? addicted to cigs bc his job is impossible.#the baristas like him #the dm wants him fired #he will literally take work out of peoples hands #maybe they dont like me cause i want them to actually do their job?#but it really hurts to see them call out of my shift #or make fun of me to another person directly in front of me #like im actually so fucking exhausted from them #OMFG i need a therapist #RGHHH

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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 5 months

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oughh......

#laya plays dragon age #da2 #oc: liam hawke #this happened a bit ago already & i wanted to draw sth for it but idk if i will finish that #but i gotta yell abt them anyway because OGH.#i have a lot of emotions about this quest ok #bartrand was the perfect scapegoat he was perfect to direct all the rage and pain at all these years #years of imagining gleeful revenge while bartrand is gloating and laughing like an evil soulless bastard #and then you meet him and he is just. a pathetic husk of a man with barely any own will left #and whats worse. varric is so so torn up about it #varric. the guy who never makes anything about him and who will always handwave and joke when something hits too close to home #drops all efforts to be smart and is just. desperate. begs hawke to not kill his brother #and liam wants to want bartrand dead so bad. he wishes he could look him in the eye and enjoy taking his life #and he knows varric will listen to him if he insisted. he knows when it comes down it it varric will yield to his decision #but he sees this broken guy who is barely the villain he kept projecting onto him and he sees varric and he sees two doomed siblings #and knows what its like to lose your sibling to your own blade #and he cant do it #and he hates it so much. but he wont do it.#and its the reason why i cant decide who dealt the killing blow for bethany bc it makes this scene juicy in different ways #if varric kills bethy its equally wanting to spare each other their siblings blood on their hands #as it is taking some form of revenge (on liams part). we both killed each others siblings. now we are even #the revenge part would still be there if liam did the blow on bethany himself. you made me do that and now i will take bartrand for it #but its also much more i know what its like. i wont make go through that too #if varric killed bethy and then also bartrand it would be more #''its my fault she is dead. i will take the revenge she/you deserves if you tell me to even though it will hurt me #dunno. all good variations i will. have to rotate them in my head more #or maybe just never decide idk they can be in canon limbo forever #anyways thats it for shouting into the void about them for now it Will happen again

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themanwhowouldbefruit · 6 months

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my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me

#“no need for follow up”#“yeah you did have several cysts we scrapped off your remaining ovary but. dw about it. idk why they were there. dw about it. oh also your #ovary on that side was freakishly huge but. dw about it. it might go away. dw about it #*doctor shrug emoji* “#“go see a gyno next year maybe. but not me im too important for that. go find and onboard a gyno to your situation. next year maybe idk lol”#he barely even looked at my incision like #this fucking appointment could have been an email. or a phone call. or they just could have let me start driving again. also i forgot to ask #if i can stop drinking ensure now or after the 6 weeks? cause that shit cost $$$$. but he probably would have been super unhelpful if i had #fr fr this guy only wanted to give me the time of day when he thought i might have fun cancer inside and now he's like gtfo!!!! get your #fugly cancerless ass out of here!!!! recover from a major surgery on your own you swagless cancerless loser 🤣 we arent helping your #swagless ass!!!#anyway it seems weird and fucked up that im was never offered to see a physical therapist and i guess am going to have to blindly trust my #abs they sliced thru are healing or whatever and to rawdog my own physical recovery of my muscles? even just dumb shit like. my center of #gravity has drastically changed since the mass removal and my back hurts like shit all the time because all my posture muscles were built up #for when i had an extra 30 pounds of cyst hanging in the front and my posture and walking reflected that. and i lowkey don't know how #hard i am able to be with my healing incision because its really tight and makes me hunch forwards still. like i would really like to know #how much i can safely or maybe should be forcing my skin and incision to stretch. without damage? is that crazy #am i crazy???#this shit is why i didnt see a doctor for 2 years until my problems had snowballed into a 30 pounds ovarian cyst that was crushing my other #organs and had one of my kidneys all backed up with piss. and even getting emergency treatment for it everyone was like. how did you like it #get this bad?? how could you not know you needed to seek medical treatment???? like. bro. seeking medical treatment isnt even a guarantee to #get medical treatment.#anyway he said my “remaining ovary seemed low key polycystic but dw about it. don't quote me on that im not dealing with it.”#bro i dont want to doctor google it i wanted an actual doctor to deal with it. fuck you.#like. maybe even a doctor who knows my situation so i dont have to struggle with getting someone to believe me and take me seriously.#but whatever. back to trying to figure out the daily protein and extra calories my body needs for recovery via doctor google i guess.#its fine 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬

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sirensskai · 1 month

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I don’t want to be cancelled. Imagine looking at me and my extreme fanon version of Ripp Grunt I call my husband and thinking I should be cancelled

#I’m so tired #I’m just a little guy #with my small Ripp server I didn’t want to get out of hand but it did #cut that person out but I’m still hurt #like am I really an awful person who causes people to s/h #I know it’s just guilt tripping but 😭#bruh I barely involved myself in the argument because I just become too stunned to speak when faced with stuff like that #I wish I could do more #vent ig

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thefuturewithoutus · 2 years

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fiveverse: a decision is made in the tunnels

#the heart #tma #the magnus archives #timothy stoker #jonathan sims #jontim #fiveverse #i like over the shoulder angles and when tim is blocking off jons body with his. its personal to me #also i forgot jon has greys canonically!!! compensating here. imagine he had them in that other comic #anyways for serious i think tim would be 100% on board with jon's idea from the start #judging from how he blew himself up in the unknowing as a fuck you to stranger hed understand #and i think finding out the ritual wouldve failed whether or not theyd intervened and stopping it barely even hurt it... he'd be so pissed #in jon killing the fears hed see the end of any possibility anyone as unlucky as them would have to suffer like they did.#and killing the fears would be so cathartic #even though the way they'd have to do it is incredibly grim and awful.. in this verse im going to say their arcs really culminate in their #worst traits kind of propelling them forward into this decision it's like a negative character arc for sure #also though it's a tough decision. idk how i would've handled it personally #anyways though yeah. let the two guys with martyr complexes figure this out im sure theyll take the option thatll hurt them the least #melanie should've hit them with a steel chair #now neither of them could even leave the panopticon for her to put down #and kind of related but don't even get me started on the orpheus and eurydicing these two get up to.

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binders-and-beanies · 4 months

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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated #can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all #tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump #hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much #and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context #it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten #literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch #which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed #literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is #it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night #I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired #and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled #in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout #and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do #it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back #I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them #and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe #and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos #but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications #both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking #and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me #I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it #this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening #just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours #PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends #this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this #personal #mine #vent post

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delicatetaysversion · 11 months

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so I was thinking this since yesterday because of these tags on the webweave

and this one came after that

and it made me think like what if. what if. it's actually not that deep it's just me who's so emotionally attached to this piece of media because i have known it for this long and it's my coping mechanism.like what if that second person watches jjk and doesn't connect with them like this and they end up hating it because i gave them hope and i made it deeper than it is💀

i am so mad at your brain for spiralling down this road because all i can think is OMG!!!!!! YOUR WEBWEAVE IS SO AWESOME PEOPLE WANT TO WATCH THE SHOW JUST BECAUSE OF SOME PICS AND QUOTES GLUED TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!! also pls i love the first tags so cute with DO ANOTHER!!!!

#vio babe in my experience #main kaise samjhau without hurting you 😭#but like the canon is always so much more underwhelming than fanmade material 😭#like for kpop you look at the content they give us and you look at the fan fiction ekdum zameen asmaan ka farak hai #but like i don't think you should feel guilty or something because like as a fan all it makes me think is omg #people writers artists are so fucking cool and poetic and awesome how did they take something simple and beautiful and turn it into #something completely different deeper richer better more fleshed out how did they put so much thought into this #and how im so so so thankful that this media existed as a base so that these wonderful artists could get inspired and make such #beautiful things for the world to see #like yk how i felt na seeing stsg i was like that's it??? what are people so crazy about that was barely anything??????#but the fandom made me love them so much more than canon did because they analysed every little interaction #every quirk or smile or dialogue and made something complicatted and big out of it and now i see the full picturr and it all falls into #place??#like canon is just adhoora without people like you okay you make it more loveable accessible you're literally carrying the fandom on your #that guy what's his name gege? he should fucking send u thank you cards and like 5000 dollars for making that webweave okay #ok bohot zyada bol diya if my point got lost somewhere i just mean ki ily and your over thinking brain #vio love

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xxcherrycherixx · 8 months

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This is your reminder to BE the party

If no one is dancing get up there and dance like a fucking crackhead on the best high of their life

I went into this gay bar with just a couple slightly dancing together near their table, i fucking took my coat off and showed those fuckers how to have a good time.

Then people started to join me and then people joined them and the next thing you know everyone is having fun!

I had so many drunk queer men approach me tonight to say how much they loved my dancing and the fact i was just happy to move to any music. When i stopped to sit for a little, one of the people from the couple came over to say that he was shocked that i took a break, they had seen me dance nonstop literally the entire time i was there. Have fun and be free and people will admire that in you and want to join you.

#this is how i was raised and i will preach it till i die #you have to act confident to be seen as confident #and when people see you like that and admire it #it makes you gain real confidence #trust me i was so self conscious and shy as a kid. i still am sometimes. but faking it till you make it really works #it might be a bit awkward at first. you might mess up and hate yourself. but dont give up becuase you WILL get better #i love you guys #i had two shots and a gin #im going to hurt so much tommorow #i walked half a mile. stood in a queue for over an hour. RAN half a mile. and then danced nonstop as hard as i could for 3 hours #anyway on q funnier note #there were no drag queens to ifgt for somereason?? like theres normally at least one for gay night #so anyway do you think everyone saw me as the stand in drag queen? with my crazy pink hair and slutty pink bimbo outfit #maybe lmao #they should hire me #everyone else was just dressed in normal casula clothes #i was dressed for a london gay club. aka with crazy colours and my skirt barely covering my ass

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melto · 8 months

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something just like snapped in the back of my head like i Need to go like curl up in my room for like 5 days and play video games and not speak to like anyone

#^ guy who is not out of a depressive ep like he thought he sorta was #dont even like particularly feel the old urge of the anxiety/need to hurt my relationships like i used to..i just feel like shit.#short list of people i think i could handle like really speaking to rn but ultimately. i just want to be somewhere safe and easy #even if that feeling is like making me feel sorta suicidal still.#just dont have it in me to like figure out how to act normal right now. something i have to do around most people and nearly everyone #i intreact with irl right now #not healthy. Ofc naturally i know this. and i can push through it. im just not excited about it.#the exhaustion to like contain myself is greater than my lonliness even though that is rather large #and i would like to get this out of my system before like. the semester starts next week. which i know i cant like control but whatever #this is all sooooo stupid. i need to be alone but i need compaionship of someone i trust.#it feels like there is glue in my mouth and i can barely speak to people im not close with bc of how exhausted and anxious i am #man. thearpy is like. going to really . idk. probably not help my mood. bc it has been hard for me to word what has been happening to me #and im always so scared of saying something that will get me hosptizaled again. Even when it shouldnt. bc im not going to do anything.#but i am scared and tired simply. and while so much has gotten better and ive gotten so much better there are some things that i just.#cant seem to figure out how to fix or ask for help. whatever. Guy who is stupid and helpless and will have to just get over it at some poin #sry i just feel like shit. i should probably just eat something i havent been eating much. and then i will probably feel a bit better #news with isaac

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creative-hanyou-girl · 1 year

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Y'all I so want to participate in InuKag Week but I don't think I even have the energy to pick up a pen let alone draw stuff 😩😭

#i just got back from a week and a half learning how to drive by my brother and let me tell you he took the job VERY SERIOUSLY #which is good but he'd drag me outta bed by 8 or sometimes 6 so we could practice #plus we did a lot of stuff together or had friends of his and family come over to interact with or entertain #I actually had a mothers day drawing I got started on but couldn't finish bc we were so busy.#i still might post it tho so don't worry #and then we drove down to FL where we met up with my mom and aunt and stayed a few days #then we had to rush home because I had work scheduled this weekend #so then we got home and i had barely 45 minutes to get dressed for work & I finished work only for us to go to dinner bc it was my b-day #and then I worked again today and tomorrow will be the first day in forever where I dont need to be anywhere and meet people #oh and I also have summer classes starting on May 30th #I had a lot of fun of course and I enjoy seeing people and like my job but I'm so freaking tired guys and my feet hurt😩#so of I end up not posting any art for InuKag Week ya'll will at least know I'm not dead #i know I usually only post 1 or 2 drawings for the Week anyway but still #inuyasha #kagome higurashi #inukag #the hanyou and his miko #inukag week #inukag week 2023 #story of my life

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strohller27 · 7 months

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#I’ve been thinking (and being alone with my thoughts like this is sometimes dangerous but what can ya do)#and like. I think I’ve been trying to make my standards high when it comes to dating to protect myself from getting hurt #which. of course? why wouldn’t I? but like. I think I tried to make my standards impossibly high so that when nobody lived up to them #I could just be like ‘oh! how sad! anyway it’s safer for me to be single because [whatever bullshit reason I can come up with]’#and this does protect me from getting hurt. but it also protects me from good things like. being intimate with someone.#which. if I were to be perfectly honest? that’s the only thing in my life I think I’ve ever really wanted more than anything #but of course I’m scared of that. because being intimate with someone requires opening up to them.#laying yourself bare and hoping they stick around after seeing what you bring to the table.#and like. I feel like I’m the guy who is firmly planted in one of the tails of a normal distribution #(and I’m not talking about the better-than-average part of the distribution if you get what I mean)#so like. I know there probably aren’t a lot of people who would stick around after I took off all my masks and laid myself bare before them #and I haven’t met many people I’d be willing to try that for #but sometimes. someone comes into your life and you feel like you’re ready to risk it all #but you don’t. because being vulnerable is a dangerous place to be. feeling as desperate as I do at times is a dangerous place to be #and so I’m probably not going to risk anything. but. listen like #why.. if my standards are so high.. is there this person in my life capable of meeting all of them.#and why.. when I’m this out of my mind for someone.. do there seem to be so many obstacles between me and them #why do I always fall for the ones who listen to me and show me kindness when I’m fragile.#even when there isn’t a chance in heaven or hell that it’s gonna work out.#why do I often think about how many times we’ve hugged. why do I want to live up to their high opinion of me.#why do I play the things they’ve said to me over and over in my head like a broken record.#why do I always have to obsess about the people I fall for. why can’t I just be normal about this.#like. this is starting to get in the way of my everyday life. it’s occupying my mind most of the time. this can’t be healthy.#in short. why the Fuck am I Like This and How Do I Stop.

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yeonban · 1 year

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Soma is so interesting in the sense that... he's so tender and so indifferent at the same time. Out of the five grand generals he cares the least about Musashi and whether he lives or dies EVEN AFTER Musashi proves he's the Obsidian Goddess and Jisai's son (whereas Tatsuomi and Tsubasa, the other two coldest ones, both became close to Musashi bc of it) but he's also the one who'd be the most emotionally hurt if someone close to him were to get injured or killed (whereas Naotora saw Tatsuomi's blood pouring down a wall and heard he got killed but had no change in expression)

#muse: date soma.#Soma has such a weird balance on this front he's SO emotional and SO emotionless at the same time #Naotora... /could/ live without Tatsuomi. He'd hate not having his best friend anymore but he Could get over it #He'd also feel bad about the other generals dying but he'd get over them all too #Soma... would get over Naotora's death easily sad as it might sound #He'd mourn Tatsuomi's and Shishikado's to an extent and he'd always have some part of them in his heart #but I don't think he could Ever get over Tsubasa dying. like a part of him WOULD die along with her #He doesn't care what happens between them. if they stop being friends. if she marries sb and they barely talk again after that.#he's fine with whatever so long as she's alive and safe. there aren't words for the sheer emotional dmg he'd take from her death #and that goes for everyone else he becomes close to. if they were to die he'd always keep them in his heart even if his heart became heavy #Soma's the kind of guy who carries Everyone he cares about in his heart no matter how much that hurts and weighs him down #It's also why he refuses to get close to people these days if he can help it

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toygirljackal · 11 months

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Fuck I feel so dumb

#vent in the tags #she doesn't follow me anymore. why does such a simple thing hurt so much.#I'm mourning a relationship that barely even happened... but it feels so impossible to move on from...#I... really hate that I feel this way. it feels unfair to people I love now...#vaguing but do you ever instantly hit it off with someone and fall immediately in love but then fuck it up and become unable to interact #for like weeks. and she cared about you and you cared about her but it didn't work and it was your fault. and you try to move on...#but every fourth thought is about her and how much you wish she was in your arms and you in hers. and you love other people but not like he #like somehow this person you've only known for a week and a half is more important than anyone else but she's the one person you forced awa #and it's been weeks and you still can't say anything because you know you'd only hurt her. but what if you could make her understand?#but if she can't you'll just be hurting her over and over and you can't bring yourself to risk that. bc you love her #you love her too much to love her. cruel irony #and maybe if she wanted she'd text you. but maybe she's feeling the same way and is waiting for you. so you're torn #do you share your feelings honestly and risk hurting her or leave her alone and risk hurting...#would it be better if you made yourself the bad guy? would she hurt less if she believed you were as bad as you think you were?#would it be better if you told her a lie. that you moved on. that you didn't love her anymore. or would it break her heart?#all I want is for her to be happy. and I know I can't give her that...#and she shared her struggles to feel worthy... and I KNOW she's worth it all and more... a million times more than I could ever give her...#I feel like I gave her false hope and broke her even worse... she said I didn't hurt her. I don't believe her but I really hope it's true #I think I'll be thinking about her forever. wondering “what if”s till I die

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fuckingarataswespeak · 1 year

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finally got the balls to block them on tumblr so i can not-so-vague post abt it now but I just had to break up with the person i was dating for 9 months

#Little part of me is like at least you were the one to do the breaking up #but also i was the one getting absolutely nothing back for this entire relationship #so who really won.....#i'm a really good communicator and i could barely talk to them and i wanted to break up for ages but then they were straight up like awful #to me #and then they LIED to me #and once i found out they lied there was nothing that could ever redeem them #I would never in a million years do what they did to me and none of my friends would either so now they have to live with the fact #that they fucked this whole thing up completely on their own #and that I was too good for them #I'm not a saint im not perfect but i WAS too good for them #absolute child #I switch between completely fuming about what they did to me and really sad that anyone would hurt me like that #because i genuinely would never lie to anyone like that #the nail in the coffin was when they didnt show up to my birthday #a guy i didnt know that well showed up from meath to be there #and do you want to know why they didnt come?#they just didn't bother #and then they lied about it #and now i dont think i can trust anything they said #i will put up with a lot of shit if your honest about it but once you lie to me then its over #one of my friends turned out to be a pathological liar and i didnt clock it for years and they KNEW about that and they KNEW my policy on #lying and they had the absolute NERVE to try and tell me that they lied to protect me from how shitty they were #Nah u were lying to protect ur own ass #wish i got more mad at them during the breakup but it hadn't all registered #Like i put in so much effort and i only realised when they just didn't bother showing up to my birthday that they just dont give a shit #about me and they just wanted to play at having a girlfriend #I was always trying to support them and i got NOTHING back #anyways oops i literally didnt expect to say all of this i just wanted to tell the tumblr girlies that im a single pringle #broke up with them yesterday so its still pretty fresh.

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