#so i don't actually want to check that tag

[clandestinedmeetings]

May I request a hurt/comfort fic with smut? Where reader is insecure of herself due to some hateful comments or rude 'friends' and Leon swoops in and treats her like the princess she is!

AHHHH this was funnnnnnnnnnn. Had to throw in a lil friends to lovers, too, because I am... such a sucker for it.

Lmk if you want me to change anything, and need more hurt! I'm happy to edit to make it closer to what you envisioned :) <3

Constructive criticism is /always/ appreciated, too! If there's something you think could be better, please don't hesitate to let me know! I'm always looking for way to improve my writing~

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Leon Kennedy x f!reader

Synopsis: Reader returns home one evening feeling distraught over recent events. Leon lends a listening ear (and then some).

Tags: 18+ (smut), MDNI, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, roommate!Leon, AFAB reader, cunnilingus, p in v, alcohol consumption

WC: 5,044

A/N: Take a shot (of water, if you're under the legal drinking age) every time I use celestial imagery in my writing. I need new similes/metaphors, goddammit.

Read on Ao3!

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Leon’s never been good with words. 

He’d actually go so far as to say that he’s bad with them—abysmal, even. The most he can usually muster in tense situations is a terse, “Okay,” and an awkward shuffle of his feet. His jokes suck, too, which leaves him with only the talent to dig himself into deeper holes, blush furiously, and pray that people find him charming enough to overlook his utter lack of social skills. 

This tactic had only really worked in his favor once. 

This tactic had only really worked on you. 

He’d met you four years ago at Claire’s 21st birthday party. She’d held it at a bar not too far from home, invited all of her friends, and conveniently omitted that he’d be the only guy in attendance. When he pulled her aside, when he’d hissed and complained and anger had gripped at his chest, she’d pouted. And that was enough to assuage his frustration. 

“They’re great girls, Leon, one of them ought to catch your eye.” 

Leon had rolled his eyes. “I don’t need you to play matchmaker, Claire.” 

“Because you’ve had so many successful dates recently,” she’d said sardonically with her hand on her hip. 

No arguing there; his love life had been about as bleak as his platonic social life as of late. The girls he met were either off-put by his awkward demeanor or willing to overlook it, but only in it for sex. The latter wasn’t too bad, he figured, but not what he was looking for, either. In fact, Leon wasn’t sure he even wanted a relationship. He just wanted someone with whom he could laugh. It’d been a while since he’d laughed.

“Claire,” he sighed, “I’m not—“

“—looking for that, yeah. Whatever, Leon. Talk to them. Maybe you’ll find a roommate, then. Solve another one of your many problems.” 

Not a terrible point, but not a good one either. Claire didn’t want to hear that, though. Especially on her birthday.

His roommate moved out a few weeks ago. The first of the month was coming soon. He could afford to pay for one month in full but he’d need a new roommate soon. He’d sulked over to the bar in resignation, ordered a bourbon (neat) and sipped on it while watching from afar. He checked his watch — 30 more minutes, and he could go home. He hadn’t gotten any hits on his ad  yet. Maybe his it needed updating. Maybe he should rewrite it. 

“We can’t both leave at the same time, you know.” 

Leon turned to his left to see you perched on a barstool, espresso martini in hand. You looked positively bored, your face drained of all color, though he couldn’t deny that the fluorescent neon lights overhead suited you. Cute, he thought, pretty.Very pretty. 

Maybe the ad could wait. 

“What makes you think I’m trying to leave?” 

You’d given him a pointed look before taking a sip of your drink. He’d chuckled, “Okay, who do you suggest leave first then?”

“Me, obviously.” 

He’d taken the seat next to yours, one hand in his jacket pocket. “That desperate to get out?” 

“Kinda,” you muttered with a smile. “And I’ve been here longer than you have so it’d be unfair if you got to leave first.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay,” you’d echoed. 

End of conversation, clearly, but you hadn’t moved. You’d stayed put. You’d angled your legs toward him; he’d mirrored the action. You refrained from ordering a second drink, he did as well. And he was surprised at how comfortable it was, sitting with you like this. Quiet, brushing knees every so often. 

“You have any jokes, stranger?” you’d asked. 

His lips had curled into a smile. “Aside from the fact that Claire only invited me to hook her up with one of her single friends and didn’t tell me until I showed up? Yeah, I got plenty.” 

“Oh, so you’re Leon,” you’d laughed. “She told me about you.” 

Leon flushed a horrific shade of crimson. “Christ,” he muttered, “That’s… humiliating.” 

“It isn’t,” you placated with a mirthful smile, “I promise. She only had nice things to say.” 

“A pleasure to have in class, I’m sure,” Leon quips. He unstuck his feet from the bar floor with a frown. He nearly gagged at the sound it made. 

You’d giggled at that. “Something like that.” 

“What’s your verdict? Was she truthful or was she Claire about it?” he’d asked. 

You’d mulled over this question with a down-turned smile. He liked the way you smiled. He liked the way your eyes gleamed underneath the blue light bathing the bar. “Very truthful, unfortunately,” you admitted without making eye contact. 

Leon stifled a smile of his own and chose to focus on keeping his feet from staying on one place for too long lest they get glued to the filthy floor once more. He’d looked up at you, and had been surprised to find you already eyeing him. 

“Why unfortunately?” 

“Because I’m not looking for anything serious. Or at all, really.” 

That had been unfortunate. You’d divulged that you’d recently gotten out of a tumultuous long-term relationship, and that you were in search for a new place to live. The apartment you two had shared was under his name so you were crashing at Claire’s until something became available. 

“I’m looking for a roommate,” he’d blurted out before he could even consider the implications. You’d furrowed your brows, taken aback by his brazenness, but your surprise quickly melted into acceptance. 

You swallowed a sip of your drink and asked, “Are you a clean person?” 

“Obsessively so.” 

“And you’re not the ‘I can fix her’ type?” 

Leon had laughed at that. “Not much of a handyman, really.” 

“Serial killer? Sexual deviant?”

“No, and I guess that depends on what you consider deviant.” 

The rightmost corner of your mouth curled into a lopsided smile. You drained the remnants of your drink, placed the martini glass on the granite bar top, and asked, “When can I move in?”

When you both reflect on this meeting now, you laugh at the eagerness with which you’d accepted his proposal. You chastise yourself for jumping the gun, for taking his answers at face value because yeah, choosing to move in with a total stranger was foolish. But in the four years since, you’d never come to regret your decision to move in with Leon.

He was terribly respectful of your space, even early on when you’d spend most of your nights crying and lamenting on your past relationship. He’d made popcorn and sat on the couch sharing a bottle of wine with you when you needed support. When you told him you’d expected a proposal on the night your boyfriend had broken up with you, he’d balked. 

Leon opened up to you quickly, too. It wasn’t long before he told you all about his parents’ deaths and unstable upbringing. You told him about your turbulent relationship with your family. You’d commiserated over feelings of worthlessness, abandonment, and isolation. And when the ice cream ran low, you’d both hop in your car and argue in whispered shouts over which flavor to get at the grocery store.

Leon was, for all intents and purposes, your best friend. And you were his. 

In you, he’d found a confidant. In you, he’d found someone who listened and cared and never failed to make him feel seen. In you, he’d found someone who could make him laugh. God, it felt so fucking good to laugh this consistently. It’s therefore safe to say that he’s smitten — that he’s been smitten since he first met you at Claire’s birthday—but he’d never act on it, not unless he was certain you felt same, even if it kills him.

And it does kill him. 

It kills him to see you date other guys. It kills him to see you go through breakups. Most of all, it kills him to see your light dim whenever you’re made to doubt yourself. To Leon, you’re radiant. You’re brilliant and bright, a sparkling star in an otherwise blackened night. You gleam when you smile, you twinkle when you laugh. You hung the moon, as far as he’s concerned. He doesn’t understand how you could think any differently. 

But you do. Not frequently, but life gets to you sometimes. 

Tonight is one of those times.

It’s Friday. Leon is laying down with his foot propped on the back of your shared velvet couch, nursing a glass of whiskey and reading the last few chapters of his book when he hears you barge through the door. It closes with a slam. He sits up abruptly, nearly spilling the amber liquid all over his white t-shirt, as you pad down the hall. 

“Hey,” you huff, plopping down beside him and snatching the glass out of his hand. You down its contents without pretense, gagging as it burns your throat. Leon’s brows knit together in concern as he takes the glass from your hands. He gently lowers it onto the glass coffee table. You hand him a coaster without looking at him. He stifles a chuckle, and slides it under the glass. Your nose is rubbed raw, he realizes. Your eyes are bloodshot. You’d been crying for a while. 

“What the fuck is wrong with me,” you whisper.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he mumbles, rubbing soothing circles on your back. 

“No, there has to be something wrong with me, Leon,” you insist, pressing the heels of your palm into your eyes. Static dances behind your lids. You wish it would swallow you whole, wish yourself to be consumed by numbness rather than whatever this fucking feeling is. “This is the fourth fucking time,” you sob, “the fourth fucking time this month I’ve all but been told I’m worthless.” 

“What’re you talking about?”

You take a shuddering sigh before slouching into the couch cushions, palms still pressed to your lids. “My coworkers spoke over every fucking idea I had at our sprint this morning. Then my mom brought up my ex again, and said he would’ve proposed if I’d been more agreeable — can you believe that?” 

Your ex-boyfriend. The one you’d expected to propose. Still a sore spot, but not for the reasons one would expect — you aren’t in love with him anymore, you don’t spare him a second thought most months. You hate his guts; Leon hates him, too. The fact that your mother was still bringing him up years after the fact is cruel, though expected at this point. Doesn’t make it any less hurtful, though, Leon knows that. 

“I can, unfortunately,” he commiserates, slumping down beside you. “Your mom’s a bitch.”

“God, she really fucking is,” you groan loudly. “And to make matters worse,” you continue, flipping onto your side to better face him, “remember that guy I went out with two nights ago?” 

Leon crinkles his nose, “V-Neck?” 

“Yeah, he told me I was a ‘waste of time’ and ‘boring’ because I didn’t like Fight Club.”

“Let me guess, Tyler Durden—“

“—is his favorite character,” you finish with an exasperated cry. Leon can’t help but laugh at that. The guy was a tool; Leon clocked it as soon as he showed up in jeans and a v-neck to pick you up for your date. 

You start to cry again. “God, Leon, I’m so sick of this shit. I’m so sick of feeling like this.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like I’m fundamentally broken. Like everyone would like me better if I weren’t me. Because when I was with my ex, I was… nothing. I was nothing. I laughed when I didn’t think he was funny. I pretended to like football, I pretended to like the gold fucking jewelry he gave me even though I never wear anything but platinum! It felt like I was giving away parts of myself every time I lied just to appease him.” 

You pause to catch your breath.. “And I get spoken over all the time at work. I’m exhausted. I feel like it’s wrong for me to take up space and I feel like all of my opinions are wrong and God, I just wish I weren’t me anymore.” You’re practically shouting now, rivulets of tears streaming down your face and soaking your plush sweater. 

“God,” you whisper. You cover your eyes with your forearms. Leon doesn’t quite know what to say, so he remains quiet. The room is filled with the sound of your sobs. 

He inhales through his nose then mutters, “I think you’re perfect.” 

“What?” you croak. 

“Nothing,” he sighs. He didn’t realize he’d said that aloud. 

You wipe your eyes with the sleeves of your sweater. “No,” you say, “What did you say?” 

Leon sucks on his teeth before answering. He wrings his hands before repeating, “I think you’re perfect.” 

“No you don’t,” you scoff.

“I do, actually. And I think you deserve way more than these asshole guys you choose to date can give you. And I think your mom’s a bitch who needs to forget about your ex because that guy was a fucking asshole who took you for granted, too. And your coworkers hardly have a braincell to share between them, so I wouldn’t take what they say to heart in the slightest.” 

You’re stunned by his outburst, by the reddening of his cheeks and clenched jaw. “Leon—“ 

“I’m not finished,” he huffs, sitting up and turning to face you. “I’m… Look, I’m sorry, but I’m so sick of hearing about people treating you like shit. I’m so sick of you coming home in tears and I’m so sick of listening to your insecurities.” 

“Well, I’m sorry I’m such a goddamn burden to you, Leon—“

“No—shit—that’s not what I meant,” he clarifies, taking your hands in his. “I don’t mean that I hate listening to you or talking you through it. I mean that…” 

“You mean that what?” 

“I mean that I just…. wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” he whispers.

You swallow thickly before asking, “How do you see me, Leon?” 

Leon looks up to the ceiling now, a mirthless smile on his face. He thought about how it would feel to confess his feelings to you, but never about how he would actually do it. He’d resolved to take them to his grave, actually. You meant too much to him; he couldn’t lose you. But Leon has said so much already, and there’s really no going back at this point, is there? 

“Like you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever fucking met, sweetheart, and I don’t just mean that in a platonic sense.” 

A breath catches in your throat. Your stomach drops, your lungs feel like they’re collapsing in your chest. Leon licks his lips before continuing, “You’re… so fucking brilliant, you know that? You’re intelligent and kind and thoughtful and god, you’re so fucking pretty it makes it hard for me to breathe sometimes.” 

Tears well in your eyes again. A sob threatens to rack your chest but you suppress it only to hear him continue. 

“And to make matters worse, you’re a terrific fucking listener. You care and love more deeply than anyone. You make everyone feel seen. You just… “ he stops only to consider his next few words. With an exhale and a watery smile, he finishes: “You deserve someone who worships the ground you walk on, and doesn’t let a day go by without reminding you how loved you are.” 

He runs his fingers through his hair, breathless and nauseous and uncertain if the pain in his chest is a burgeoning heart attack or deep-seated panic bubbling to the surface. Leon wonders if you’d judge him for throwing up right now. It would certainly ruin his chances with you permanently, not that he had one to begin with. 

But then he feels your hand cradle his cheek. And he feels you turn his face toward yours. And he feels your lips — soft, plush, tasting vaguely of the cherry chapstick you’d let him borrow whenever he needed it — on his. 

Leon freezes, unsure how to respond. Does he kiss you back? Are you drunk and that’s why you’re kissing him? You’re clearly vulnerable — maybe it’s that. 

You press your forehead to his after pulling away. “S-sorry,” you stammer, “I just— I’m— that was—“ 

“N-no, it’s okay—“

“I’m so—“ you interrupt yourself by kissing him again. Leon reciprocates this time, though he does so with some hesitation. His hand cups the back of your head; you take it as a sign to lean further into him, to take handfuls of his shirt and pull you to him. When you break away, the sky parts and you’re awash with a sense of clarity. 

“Leon,” you sigh, “Leon, do you really mean all of that?” 

“Every fucking word,” he breathes. 

“You’re not just saying that because you’ve been drinking whiskey and you think I’m sad and vulnerable and want to take advantage of me?” 

He barks out a laugh. “No, I’m not and that glass that you finished was actually my first.” 

“And by saying all of this, are you saying you’re willing to be that person?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay,” you whisper.

“Okay,” he chuckles, holding the hand tangled in his t-shirt. You release your grip with a chuckle of your own before looking away bashfully. He gently strokes his thumb over the back of your hand. 

You look down at your feet; he looks down at your feet, too. “So,” you say after a while, “you think you can fuck better than they can, too?” 

Leon tosses his head back and laughs heartily. You can’t help but laugh, too, loving the timbre of his joy. He stands, and offers you a hand. You take it with a giggle, standing to your full height to meet him. With a wolfish grin, Leon throws you over his shoulder. You shriek with delight at the suddenness of the gesture, but don’t fight as he carries you to your bedroom and drops you onto your plush queen-sized bed. 

He’s on you within seconds, dazzling white smile plastered on his golden skin as he kisses you. You smile as you kiss him, too. There’s something tender about the way Leon kisses you, like you’ll break under his touch. It’s different, you think, brand new. Gentle. Sweet. Caring. Even as his hands snake up your sweater to settle along your waist. 

You gasp as his calloused fingers rub loose circles along your ribcage. He trails kisses along your jaw and down the column of you throat, pausing only to suck at your pulse point and collarbone. You grab fistfuls of his shirt and move to tug it over his head. His belt is next. Then your sweater.  And before long, you’re pressed flushed against him and savoring the warmth of his skin. 

“God, you really are so fucking beautiful,” he whispers in your ears, voice low and gravelly with lust. You arch into him again, begging that he resume his kisses along your neck. He obliges —of course he obliges— and when he reaches your breasts, he looks up at you through thick lashes. 

It takes you a second to realize that he’s waiting for your consent to continue. Tears well in your eyes once more, both at the revelation that no one had ever been considerate enough to pause and ask for something as simple as this and that he did so without prompting. You give him an enthusiastic nod. He smiles and presses a genial kiss on your breastbone in thanks before taking a pert nipple into his mouth. 

You mewl at the sensation of his tongue lapping loving circles around your nipples, at the feel of his hand cupping your other breast and rolling its peak between his index and thumbs. His name slips from your mouth; he moans in response. 

“Shit, baby, say my name again,” he rasps. 

“Leon,” you keen as he sucks at your breast. He groans again, shutting his eyes as he savors the cadence with which you mutter his name. 

He’s desperate to hear it again, to hear it screamed in ecstasy, to hear it whispered lowly in his ear. Anything. He just needs you. 

He trails kisses down your torso. You move sinuously beneath him, eagerly anticipating the featherlight kisses he places on your hip bones. On your inner thighs. On your dripping cunt. You spread your legs for him; an invitation of the sweetest kind. You knot your fingers in his hair as he begins his ministrations, his tongue lapping at your pussy from entrance to apex. He lingers along your clit, drawing lazy concentric circles around it until you’re brimming with desire. 

“Please, Leon,” you beg, “more.” 

His chuckle is low and dark. It reverberates through your core, heating and cooling the coil tightening painfully within your lower abdomen. 

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this, sweetheart. Let me take my time.” 

You arch into him, eyes wide with disbelief. “A l-long time?” 

Leon gives you an affirmative hum. You whimper as his fingertips dig into your thighs, as he drags you closer to his mouth with calloused hands. “A long fucking time,” he emphasizes before burying his face into your cunt. 

You moan at the feel of his lips, his nose, his tongue licking and sucking and savoring the ichor between your legs. He alternates between the flat and tip of his tongue. He nips at your clit. He gently prods your core with his tongue before slipping inside and coaxing forth a shattering, breathtaking orgasm. 

He holds you tightly in place, devouring you so wholly through and past your climax. It’s overwhelming, asphyxiating, beautiful and damned and in your fractured consciousness, you wonder why you didn’t succumb to these desires sooner. 

It’d be dishonest to deny your initial and longstanding attraction to Leon Kennedy. You’d withheld your curiosity as a matter of self-preservation — you can’t lose another friend to sex, you can’t lose another living arrangement. But that didn’t stop you from fantasizing about it at night. And in the morning. And whenever he’d walk around your shared apartment shirtless or in his gray sweatpants or when he held you when you cried. 

Stupid, you think now, stupid, stupid, stupid. 

Your own hands don’t even come close to comparing to the feel of him. At this point, you’re certain there’s no going back, either. You need more. You need more now or you’ll go insane. 

“Leon, please.” 

He rises to his knees, pink tongue swiping across his plush lips to consume as much of you as possible. His hands, so large and strong, rub the tops of your thighs. “Please what?” 

“Fuck me. Now.” 

He clenches his jaw in frustration. He so desperately wants to keep you like this, wants to take his time, wants to bring you to orgasm with his tongue and fingers at least thrice more before he allows himself to fuck you properly, but he can’t. He knows he can’t, not when you look like this: skin feverish, pupils blown wide, fingers knotted tightly in bedsheets as a means to keep yourself tethered. 

“Condom?”

“Top drawer,” you choke out, gesturing to the nightstand to your left. 

He scrambles to extract one from the back most corner of the drawer, and tears into the aluminum packaging with his teeth. You sit up, hands greedily tugging at the waistband of his boxer briefs, and take his hardened cock in your hands. 

A delicious, gravelly moan slips through his lips as you stroke him from base to tip. Your ministrations are slow, painstaking, and Leon’s finding it harder and harder to keep his resolve. His hand reaches for your throat. It startles you at first, but your eyes roll back as he tightens his grip ever so slightly. 

“How do you want it?” He asks

Your response comes out airy, breathless, needy: “I don’t fucking care.” 

“On your back then.” 

And you oblige, but not before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down on top of you. He smells of cloves and ginger, all warmth and spice, and it’s so intoxicating you wrap your legs around his torso to pull him closer, closer, closer.

He litters your neck with wet kisses, leaving light bruises in his wake. You’d mind if you didn’t have all weekend to help them heal. You’d mind if this weren’t the first time in a while that you’ve felt yourself grow so slick with need that you’re surely dampening the plush covers adorning your bed. You’d mind if they weren’t coming from him. 

From his eager mouth.

From his generous tongue. 

From his fevered kisses. 

You angle your neck to grant him further access; he accepts it with genuine appreciation. 

You whine as his kisses slow, as he takes his time peppering the column of your neck, your décolletage, your breasts. And you’re so preoccupied with the way he sets your skin ablaze that the feel of his cock penetrating your core takes you by sweet surprise. 

He smiles into his next series of kisses, grows harder as you arch into him and dig your fingernails into his back. He allows you to adjust to his size before moving.

“God, you’re so fucking tight,” he rasps in your ear. It sends ripples of want through your system. “So fucking tight, sweetheart.” 

“Leon,” you whine again, gyrating in desperation for release. 

Stars flit across your vision as he adopts a rhythmic pace. He’s slow at first, soft as you acclimate, but as soon as your teeth sink into the flushed skin of his shoulder and he recognizes the hunger in your eyes, he smirks. 

“I won’t hold back, you know,” he teases.

“I don’t want you to.” 

“Better fucking hold on then.” 

You open your mouth, snarky retort on the tip of your tongue, but a lascivious moan takes its places as Leon’s hips slam into yours. His pace is bruising, rapid, and deep. The tip of his cock kisses your cervix, triggering white spots to bleed into your vision. You close your eyes, you toss your head back into the pillow, you claw at him for purchase. When you exalt his name, it comes out stuttered, choked, garbled behind a stream of curses and erotic sighs. 

He presses his forehead to yours. Your lips manage to find his even through your euphoric fog. It’s difficult to maintain with the way he fucks you, so he cradles your cheek with one hand to keep you steady. 

“You’re so fucking perfect, baby,” he mumbles into your lips, “so fucking beautiful.” 

You bite his lip; he slips his tongue into your mouth. You taste his whiskey again, bitter and smokey, and moan as the tip of his cock pressurizes your g-spot. You’re close to coming undone, close to bathing in rapture, and you can’t help but feel disappointed for succumbing so soon —you wish you could stay like this forever. 

Thought that disappointment quickly dissipates as your orgasm snaps. You’re engulfed in waves of pleasure so sinful, so profoundly exhilarating. You cum with his name on your lips, and in ecstasy, it evolves into something deeper. An exaltation. A sacred prayer. An incantation summoning forth years of denied attraction. A testament to his patience. 

You come undone before him, vulnerable and raw, and he kisses you again because he’s so grateful that you’ve allowed him to see you like this. Keeping his eyes open as he approaches his own climax is challenging, but ultimately worthwhile because he swears he’s never seen anything—anyone—so beautifully and perfectly crafted for him in his life. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, I’m—“

“Cum for me, Leon. Cum inside me.” 

And now it’s your name that’s ripped from his throat, your name interlaced with prayers and enveloped in the sanctity of his climax. You wrap your legs more tightly around his torso, bringing him closer still. His head drops, forehead meeting yours, as he comes to. 

It takes you both a minute or so to catch your breaths. You pant into each other, remain tangled in your sheets as you bask in the aftermath. 

You expect shame to blossom in your chest. You expect regret, too, but neither come. Instead, you’re filled with a sense of belonging that is only further reinforced when you look into his irises. You dive headfirst into crystalline pools, so warm and inviting, and recognize that it should always feel like this. 

“You okay?” He asks between breaths. 

“Extraordinary,” you pant, “you?” 

“Never been better.”

He presses his forehead to yours, a delightful chuckle racking his chest. It’s hard not to laugh, too, hard not to pull him into a tighter hug. You’d hugged a million times before—he’s always been quite liberal with his affections—and a small piece of you always wondered what it would be like to do so in this capacity. It is, of course, better than anything you could have possibly imagined. 

You grab his face, and pull him into a soft, loving kiss. It’s deep this time, sweet and passionate and above all else, familiar. He scoops you into his lap after he pulls out. He kisses your head, your cheeks, your lips. He holds you, rubs soothing circles along your thighs, whispers sweet nothings in your ear. 

“So,” Leon asks after a while, “verdict? Better than those other guys?” 

“So much fucking better, unfortunately.” 

Leon looks down at your quizzically, “Why unfortunately?”

“Because I actually am looking for something serious now.” 

“So am I,” he blurts out. 

You lean back to get a better look at his face then purse your lips and ask, “Are you a clean person?” 

“Obsessively so,” he quotes, beaming at the memory of the night he first met you.

“And you’re not the ‘I can fix her’ type?” 

Leon laughs again, “Still not much of a handyman, really.” 

“Are you a serial killer,” you ask between kisses, “or sexual deviant?”

“No and only if you’re into that.” 

You wrap a gentle hand around the nape of his neck, and bring his lips down to yours. After a dizzying, passionate kiss, you press your forehead to his and ask, “Where do I sign up?”

And Leon realizes that he may not be so bad with words after all.

[leafostuff]

Insecurities [Ft. Fromis_9 Jiheon]

Tags: Fluff, Monologue-ish, Girlfriend!Jiheon, Established relationship

Author Notes: no notes we ballin, random idea

=================================

Insecurities are something everyone deals with in their daily life, from looks to social life to achievements, everyone has their own stuff that they dont feel good about themselves

And you are not any different, yours however come from a different source then others: Baek Jiheon, your best friend since highschool, your personal sunshine and...your girlfriend.

Who knew that you would actually have the balls to ask out your best friends on the last day of your senior year, and who knew that she will actually say yes instead of putting you in the dreaded "friend zone".

Comparing yourself and Jiheon is like comparing the burning sun to the cold moon, like an elegant ballet dancer to a bouncy hip-hop dancer, like- OK OK you get, you both are completely different from each other

Jiheon is the sun, always talkative, very sweet, always excited to be with people (especially being with you), as your classmate she was one of the popular girls in school while also being one of the top students, while you...

Well...you were nothing like her, nothing compared to her.

You are not the smartest

(another refresh, probably for Like the 1000th time, adrenaline is an all time high as you were waiting for your college professor to finally send the scores to your computer science exam.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity the scores are finally updated and well...while 60 wasn't too bad, you ended up passing but...it wasn't far from failing.

It honestly sucked, especially since you were working extra hard to get a high score in this exam only to get a 60 which will definitely lower your avarage

A sigh comes from your mouth as you let your head rest on your table, hands on your temple trying to relax yourself from that abysmal score...)

Not the prettiest

{"Are you sure that is necessary Jiheon? I look so stupid in this" you say, the embarrassment is clearly felt from the other side of the isle

"Have i ever told you to do something that isn't?" You can think of a couple moments, a lot actually but it's not like you could ever say no when she gives you her pleading smile. "Now come here and let me see it".

You swipe , revealing yourself to your best friend, on your head now a headband of wolf ears, your cheeks now fully red from embarrassment, Jiheon covers her mouth and her eyes widen in surprise.

"What?" you ask in an annoyed, monotonous voice.

"oh n-nothing" she answers, now looking away however second by second she breaks down, first a giggle, then a small chuckle and in the end she cant contain herself any longer, now fully laughing, almost falling to the floor from how you look.

"SEE?! I TOLD YOU IT WAS STUPID" you respond, even more embarrassed than before as you now turn away from your best friend}

["ahhh finally, the weekend is here" Jiheon says, stretching herself while both of you getting out of your last class of the day, moving toward the exit as your best friend walking backward, facing you with a bright as usual smile

And not the most social person

"wow, I never thought you would be happy about going home from school" you reply, occasionally checking to see that she doesnt stumble into someone that she doesnt see.

"just because i enjoy studying doesn't mean i don't want the week to be over" she exclaims, doing a 180° turn to now face the same direction as you, now walking forward.

"Like seriously, who in the staff let Professor Park teach in the last class of the day, of the WEEK?" She asks rethorically

"maybe they want to make you enjoy the weekend even more?" You jokingly say which makes both of you laugh, as both you head toward your lockers a familiar group waits there.

"Oh, Yuna, Yujin, Sungho" Jiheon says, giving both the girls a quick hug, and a high five to Sungho as you could feel yourself getting nervous

"Were heading to the Arcade, Yujin THINKS she can beat me at Air Hockey" Sungho says, looking at Yujin with an excited look.

"im not saying i think i could beat you, i WILL" she corrected him before turning toward Jiheon again, "Wanna Join?" She asks

"Sure, sounds like fun" she answers, now turning herself toward you "you're' coming?" She asks, however as you were about to answer Yuna starts to speak over you

"Oh sorry, don't get me wrong but...he isn't really our friend, he is kind of like...your +1" Yuna says, not even turning to look as if you were invisible, you were now looking at your locker, trying to hide your embarrassment.]

Those moments always come to your mind whenever you look at yourself in the mirror after you take a shower, or at night when you lay on your bed, thinking about if you made the right decisions in your life to get where you are now.

However, as you look back at those moments in a clearer mind, you realise that with a person that loves you

(You suddenly feel a hand on your hair, lightly patting it, looking up and see its Jiheon, now in her sleeping attire as her smile beams at you.

"I know how hard you worked for it..." she says, before leaning downward as you can feel her lips giving your right cheek a quick peck before continuing to talk

"im proud of you" she adds, as you stand up she opens her arms, signaling you to come and hug her, with a happy face you happily oblige)

Cares about you

{"No no no you don't look stupid" she says, trying to calm her laughter.

"It's just that you look so...cute with those wolf ears" your cheeks turn rosy pink as Jiheon's hand finds itself on your shoulder, "I really mean it" you could feel your face turned from embarrassed to now happy, "Omg wait i have an idea"

She walks toward another box of costumes, pulling out a pair of fox ears, "We HAVE to take selfies with those" she grabs her phone with one hand while her other hand goes behind you back, letting herself side hug you

"Smileeee" she cheerfully says while raising her phone camera}

And lets you be the best version of youself

["I see" Jiheon says, her voice sounds disappointed her eyes tries to find yours that hide behind the locker door.

"Well, if my '+1' isn't coming..." she says to her friends as suddenly her hands grab yours, pulling you toward her before continuing to speak

"Then i am also not coming" Jiheon exclaims, you could see her face getting annoyed as she looks at them, but not before turning her gaze at you, now giving you a warm smile, her eyes giving you a look that says 'I got you']

You realise how those thoughts about yourself are not real, that even with those insecurities. And as you turn your gaze to Jiheon, your sunshine with her asleep while her right cheek lays on your chest while her arms wrap themselves around your waist, you can't help yourself but smile while thinking...

Maybe those insecurities never existed at all

=================================

As of today i am 20 years old so birthday fic i guess

Dedicated to @erospandemos

[bteezxyewriter12]

Panic

Pairing- Seonghwa x Named Reader

Word count- 3.5k

Includes- dystopian zombie apocalypse AU, wild sex, oral, pussy eating, cum eating, missionary, sex from behind, cock riding, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13 @mknae-jongho @bykeynote

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Seonghwa Masterlist

J POV

"Jo come away from the window", Seonghwa calls from his spot on the couch

I look over at him incredulously

I can't believe how he's just sitting there like we didn't just run for our lives and barricaded ourselves in this house

As if we didn't see our friends die over the course of two fucking weeks

"I'm checking that we're safe", I tell him

"We are", he answers, "I made sure everything is locked and I put furniture in front of the doors like you asked"

Of course I asked him to do that

A door can be broken into

"Move from the window"

I can't believe how stoic he is

I mean he's always been like that, keeping his emotions to himself, blank looks on his face, never speaking more than he needs to

It's what made me vow to never tell him how I really feel about him

I've seen girls confess their feelings to him and he just stood there with no emotion, thanked them for telling him then saying he didn't feel the same

I can't handle him doing the same to me so I just keep quiet about my feelings

Aside from that I've gotten used to how he is over the years we've been best friends

But this is different

"Seonghwa, I'm making sure nothing comes close to the house. I'm watching so we can run if we need to. So we don't die"

I'm panicking but hell, I'm always the emotional one in this friendship

"We're not going to die", he says emotionlessly

"Are you kidding? We're in a fucking zombie apocalypse Seonghwa! We saw shit that we've seen in movies right in front of us. Did you forget that a zombie killed Hongjoong?"

"Of course I didn't forget", he says, rolling his eyes, "But watching at a window isn't going to do anything"

And I just explode

"My god Seonghwa!", I yell, moving to him and standing in front of him, "Don't you care that we could die?"

"Of course I care"

"You don't fucking act like it! You act like all this doesn't bother you"

He glares up at me, "What do you want me to do? Panic? How is that supposed to help anything?"

"It's not!", I shout, "But it would help to show that you actually gave a fuck. It would show some solidarity for our shitty situation!"

He just stares at me, "Is that what you want? You want me to panic?"

Realistically no because I know that it's not going to help

But right now I'm terrified and I want to know if he is too

"Yes!", I shout

"Fine", he growls, standing up

The next thing I know, he pulls me to him, his lips crashing into mine

My head spins as I grab on to his shirt, the world tilting as I kiss him back

It takes me a second to realize what's going on

That Seonghwa is kissing me

And he's good at it

"What", I say, pulling back in complete shock, "What are you doing?"

"Panicking", he murmurs, pulling me back to his lips, kissing me wildly

And I just let go, throwing all caution to the wind

We might die soon

I might as well be with the man I love once

His hands move down to my jeans, undoing the button and zipper

And that action causes a frenzy, both of taking clothes off each other

I get him naked but before I can look at him he pushes me onto the couch, his hands on my shirt, ripping it down the middle

Oh my god, that's fucking hot

His hands grab the front of my bra, pulling and ripping it apart, then he shoves the tattered remains of my shirt and bra off

He does the same to my panties, ripping the sides and throwing the pieces on the floor

His eyes roam my body, breathing hard, his hands touching every inch of skin, lighting me on fire

"Fuck, you're so beautiful", he murmurs, "So much more than I imagined"

Did he say.. imagine?

What the hell?

His hands open my legs, biting his bottom lip as he looks at my pussy

"So small", he says, touching me, his fingers running along my slit

"Fuck Hwa", I whimper, finally looking at his body

And proceed to choke on air

His body is amazing, muscular chest, arms and abs, like he was sculpted by God

I get an eyeful of his cock, gaping at how big, thick and utterly hard he is

His hand moves away from me but before I can even utter a sound, his face is between my legs, licking my pussy hungrily

"Oh my god Hwa!", I cry in pleasure

"So good", he moans into my pussy, his tongue running up and down quickly, "Fuck, I knew you'd taste this good. Fuck, I knew it"

"You...you knew?", I ask, befuddled and in such bliss, my hand grabbing his long black hair on its own

"I knew", he groans, his tongue licking my hole then sliding inside

"Fuck", I cry, my cunt clenching around his tongue as he lets out the loudest pornographic moan I ever heard

His fingers are gripping my thighs so hard, his tongue wiggling in my hole so pleasurably

"Gonna fuck this pussy so good", he whines, fucking his tongue in and out, my pussy spasming each time

As he tongue fucks me, his fingers move to my clit, rubbing in circles, increasing the pleasure

"Seonghwa, oh my god"

I've never been eaten out this good in my fucking life

"Please baby, cream my tongue", he begs, now thrusting his tongue in my hole as deep as he can, swirling it around before he pulls out

"Oh fuck", I cry, moving my hip and grinding against his face

"Mmm hmmm fuck my face baby", he moans, "God, want you to soak my face"

I'm doing just that, the movements of his hand and tongue sending me head first into an amazing orgasm

"Seonghwa! Seonghwa!", I cry in bliss, my entire body shaking, his tongue not stopping

"Yes, so good", he groans between tongue thrusts, "Pussy cream so good. So sweet"

I can't say a word, too caught up in the bliss

Seonghwa doesn't give me a break switching his movements

His tongue slides up, licking and rolling over my clit while two of his fingers push into my pussy

"Fuck, pussy so tight", he murmurs against my clit, the vibrations of his voice sending pleasure up my spine, "Can wait to feel you around my cock"

Oh my god, I can't wait for that either

His fingers wiggle in my cunt, pressing around as the tip of his tongue massages my clit

I'm in so much pleasure, tears are pooling in my eyes and he hasn't even fucked me yet

His fingers press a spot that has me seeing stars, my cunt completely drenching his hand

"There it is", he murmurs, pulling his fingers out then slamming them back into that spot

I cry out in bliss, his mouth wrapping around my clit and sucking hard as he finger fucks me at the same time

I don't know how he can make me feel this good but I'm so glad he is

Each suck has me clenching tightly around his fingers, each hit to my spot has my body shaking, my hand pulling his hair hard

"Mmm baby, your clit is so good to suck on", he moans, doing just that, "Throbbing so hard for me. And this pretty cunt clenching my fingers hard. Gonna cum for me again?"

"Yes Hwa", I whimper, "Suck harder baby"

He does, throwing me into intense bliss as I cum, screaming his name

He sucks and fingers me though the orgasm, tears escaping from the sheer pleasure I'm experiencing

When it's over, I just lay there in a daze

His fingers pull out, his tongue licking my pussy clean

He sits up and I look at him, my cheeks heating up from how wet his face is, covered in juice and cum

He just smirks at me, putting his fingers in his mouth and sucking

"So good baby", he tells me

He wipes his face then moves my legs around him

He leans over me, his lips against mine, kissing me as his cock pushes inside me

I gasp against his lips, my body arching as I feel him stretch me open on his dick

I can feel every fat inch, every ridge sliding in, making me shiver

His arm moves around my waist, holding me against him as he bottoms out, moaning in my mouth, my pussy clenching around him hard

His lips don't leave mine as he pulls his cock out then thrusts back in to the hilt

I moan into the kiss, pleasure seizing my body as he begins to pound hard into me

"Oh fuck", he murmurs, dragging kisses down to my neck, his hips moving at a speed I didn't think possible, "Fuck, so tight. So fucking wet"

I just moan, not able to talk from the sheer bliss, his cock fucking my pussy wide open

"I make you this wet?"

"Yes", I manage to get out, my hands on his back, my fingers digging into his skin, loving the feeling of his muscles moving as he fucks the life from me

"All for me?", he whines, his hands groping my ass, the sound of my cunt squelching around his cock so fucking loud

I should be embarrassed about how loud it is but right now I don't give a fuck

"Yes", I moan, tears running down my face as I gasp for breath

I squeeze my legs around his waist, his cock rubbing against my spot with each stroke

"You're pussy feels so good", he groans, "So fucking good"

Well I'm glad he likes it

It would totally suck if he didn't

"Is my cock making you feel good?", he asks shyly, "Is it good enough for you?"

Abso-fucking-loutely

"Yes", I yell, "Fuck yes Hwa"

"Are you sure? Wanna be good for you"

I honestly can't believe this is Seonghwa, my stoic best friend, asking me this

"I'm sure", I moan, "You feel amazing Hwannie"

He moans in my neck, the sound so beautiful, his fingers digging into my ass cheeks as he ruthlessly fucks me

"Such a big dick baby", I praise him, "So hard for me"

"Always jagi", he whimpers, "I'm always hard for you. Fuck, the littlest things you do turn me on. I'm always hard around you. You don't know how many times I had to hide it from you"

Well he did a fucking good job because I never noticed

"You don't know how much I wanted just throw you on the nearest surface and fuck you into oblivion", he growls, each stroke making my cunt clench down hard around him, his pelvis rubbing against my clit, bringing me closer and closer, "Wanted to taste you pussy so badly. It took everything in me to not drop to my knees in front out you and beg to eat your pussy"

I'm completely shocked

He never even gave a hint that he felt that way

"I dreamed about making you cum for me", he says in a strangled voice, "All over my face, all over my tongue, all over my cock. Fuck wanted you feel you cum on my dick for so long"

"Hwannie", I whine, his words and movements driving me so close

"Do you want to cum on my cock?"

"Yes, Seonghwa yes!"

"Then cum for me jagi", he begs, "Please baby, please"

He drives his cock in, fucking me right into a mind blowing orgasm, wave after wave of bliss crashing into me

"Seonghwa!", I cry, my body arching into his, my nails digging in his back, my cunt throbbing around him

It's so fucking good, so good

He moans in my neck, his hips not stopping, fucking me through the amazing orgasm

When it's over, he pulls out, flipping me over to my hands and knees, his head poking in my hole

"Again, fuck, I need to feel that again", he pleads, sliding his hard cock, back inside me

"You...you liked it?"

"Love it. Feels so good", he corrects, his hands slowly moving up my back, his hips grinding into me so his head rubs my spot

I feel his soft lips on my back, kissing slowly, following the path his fingers are taking

His moves over me, his chest against my back, one of his arms around my waist holding me in place

He pulls out, the drag of his cock sending pleasure up my spine

He surges back in, burying his cock in so deep, I feel him in my stomach

The pleasure increases as he moves, his cock stretching me wide open

"Fuck you're perfect for me", he whispers, "Your pussy was made for my cock"

It seems so

His big, I'm small but my pussy takes him all in and it feels so good

There's no pain, it's not uncomfortable, it's blissful

"You feel it too right?", he murmurs, his hips rolling into me, driving his cock in, forcing me open again and again, "You feel how perfect we are together? How we're meant for each other?"

"Yes", I gasp, my head in the clouds, my body shaking with each thrust, "Yes Hwa"

"Fuck, you're getting so tight", he groans, my cunt indeed pulsing very hard and quickly around his length, "Gonna cum for me again?"

I nod, not able to speak as his next thrust sends me right into incredible bliss

"Seonghwa", I whimper, my mind turning off while I cum on his cock

"Yes baby", he groans, keeping his entire cock inside me, grinding into me, "Feels so good, fuck"

As soon as the pleasure is over, I move forward, off his dick

"Jagi-"

"Gonna ride you", I tell him, turning around

His eyes widen as he nods

I lean forward, kissing him softly, his mouth moving eagerly against mine

"Lay down for me", I ask, in between kisses

He sits back, pulling me in his lap, then continues to slide down the couch until his head is against the arm of the couch, his lips never leaving mine

Straddling him, I move his length to my entrance and start taking him inside me

I push down, my cunt so drenched it takes just seconds to bottom him out

Like my pussy knows he belongs inside

Breaking the kiss, I sit up, his beautiful brown eyes staring at me

"You're so fucking beautiful", he says softly as his hands slide up and down my thighs

I smile shyly at the words I've always wanted to hear him say

"You are too Hwannie"

He's fucking gorgeous

And so hot with his hair full of sweat, his body glistening in it, his lips puffy from all the kissing

He smiles softly, both of us starting at each other until I realize I'm supposed to be riding him

Leaning my hands on his rock hard abs, I start moving, bouncing on his cock, starting off slow and getting faster with each move

"Oh fuck", he groans, his eyes moving to my boobs that happen to be bouncing in his face

His hands wrap around them, squeezing, fingers running over my nipples

Each touch of my nipples sends more pleasure down to my pussy, making me even wetter

His eyes drop to my pussy, biting his bottom lip as he groans

"Like what you see?", I ask

He nods, his eyes glued to my pussy fucking his cock

"Tell me what you see", I ask breathlessly, riding him harder

"You're pussy is so pretty wrapped around my cock", he murmurs, "Pussy lips so swollen, holding my dick between them"

"Mmm", I groan, moving so hard I'm jumping up and down his length, my pussy choking his cock

"Your clit is so swollen, throbbing", he continues in a mesmerized voice, "Your hole spreads so wide from me, swallowing all of me"

I know, I can feel that

And it feels incredible

My pussy loved his cock, sucking him in every bounce down, grinding on his head

His cock throbs inside me and it feels so good

"You're creaming my cock like I've never seen before. It's all over my cock and leaking onto my lap. It's so fucking pretty, decorating my cock", he praises, "Making a creamy ring at the base of my dick. God I love seeing it. Love feeling you"

"Seonghwa", I moan, his words, his voice driving me crazy

He sits up slightly, his mouth moving around my nipple, sucking softly

Pleasure zaps down my body, my cunt drenching his cock more

"Fuck, everything on you tastes so good", he moans, letting go of my nipples, his tongue sliding up between my boobs, licking the sweat there, "So good"

I keep fucking myself on his cock, my hand sliding in the back of his hair, fingers tangling in it

His mouth wraps around my other nipple, sucking harshly

"Everything on you is so good to suck on", he says between sucks, "Your skin, your nipples, your clit. Fuck, I could suck on your clit all day"

And I would definitely let him

My cunt pulses quickly, making him groan, "You're gonna cum"

"Soon", I agree, his cock feeling so good moving inside me

"Please"

"I will", I promise, "But I want you to fill my pussy too"

He groans around my nipple, "You want my cum inside you?"

"Yes Hwa", I moan, wanting nothing but that, "Can you?"

He nods, "Yes baby. Fuck, wanna cum in your pussy"

"Then cum for me", I ask him, slamming down, an earth shattering orgasm taking over, ecstacy plunging into every inch of my body

I hear him moaning around my nipple, his cock throbbing, his warm cum spilling in my cunt

We moan each other's names, his mouth sucking on my nipple periodically between groans, his skin shivering

I feel so full of him, his cum and I love it

I've never felt so satisfied after sex as I do right now

When the pleasure fades, his arms move around my back, holding me against him as he lays back down

"That was you panicking?", I ask, out of breath, laying my head on his chest

"Yeah", he murmurs, nuzzling against the top of my head

"I don't get it", I tell him

"I know you don't", he says softly, running his fingers in my hair, "I've never told you"

What is he talking about?

I said panic not be cryptic

"Told me what?", I ask, tilting my head back, looking at him

His eyes meet mine and my heart pounds at the emotion I see there

"That I'm completely in love with you"

My brain malfunctions as I take his words in

"What?"

"I have loved you for as long as I can remember", he says softly, "And I'm trying to keep calm for you, trying to figure out what to do to keep you safe because you mean everything to me"

I honestly had no idea this is how tonight would turn out

I had no clue he felt this way

"The truth is I've been panicking ever since this apocalypse started. I've worried everyday about how I'm going to keep you alive. Today was too close"

He's right about that

Him, Hongjoong and I were out scavenging for food when we ran into a group of zombies

One killed Hongjoong and I was so horrified at what was happening, I wasn't paying attention

A zombie knocked me to the ground and was on top of me trying to bite me but I held it back

Seonghwa threw it off me, got me up and we ran

We didn't stop until we got to this house

"Because of today, I have spent the last few hours panicking over us dying without you ever knowing how much I love you", he murmurs, "Panicking over us dying and never being together at least once"

Looking at him, I'm awed at the emotion I've never seen on his face

Lifting my head, I gently touch his face and press a kiss to his lips

"I love you Seonghwa", I tell him, surprised on his face, "I always have"

He smiles and it's so stunning, it takes my breath away"

"I love you", he says and I let the words I've always wanted to hear from him wash over me

"Hwa, as long as we're together we'll be ok", I tell him, "We watch out for each other, we keep each other alive. We find a place where other people are and we stay there. Live there. Together"

He nods, "Always together"

"Promise?"

"Yeah jagi. Promise"

I smile, so happy that I finally have my Hwannie

Yeah it sucks that we're in a zombie apocalypse but I believe that as long as we're together we'll survive

He kisses my forehead, then smirks at me

"Panic with me again?", he asks

I nod, giggling, "Yeah"

His mouth is against mine again, kissing me wildly, urgently and I fall into him

[never-enough-books-ever]

Hold me if you can

Grayson x reader

Angst/comfort

Trigger warnings: there isn't anything much but overthinking I guess??

A/n: I was sitting on this for such a long time cause I got into a writing slump but I like actually like this one

Tagging: @lanterns-and-daydreams @shuhuaspookie @hearthown @reminiscentreader @f4iry-bell lemme know if you wanna be removed it added

The house was eerily quiet, save for the occasional rustle of the wind against the curtains. I was lying in bed next to Grayson, his breathing the only sound in the room. It was well past midnight, but sleep wasn’t coming easily this time .

It was one of those days again. Where every single bad thing which everyone had ever said came in and out of my head. Usually I would be able to handle it and distract myself but this time it was not possible. The weight of it all felt too much, with my throat closing up, my eyes burning , and tears began to well up in my eyes.

I went outside my room so I didn’t disturb Grayson, hoping that he continues to sleep and doesn’t come find me. I quickly went to the living room and sat in the corner of the room and pulling my knees to my chest let the tears fall freely. Sometimes it was better to let my emotions out than stifle them but this time my tears weren’t stopping.

Lost in my head, I couldn’t hear Grayson’s footsteps enter the room. "Love?" His voice was soft, filled with concern. "What are you doing up?"

I quickly wiped my tears, trying to compose myself. "Nothing Gray," I said, my voice shaky. "Go back to bed. I'm fine."

He stepped closer, his eyes searching my face. "You're not fine," he said gently while holding my face in his palms. "Talk to me sweetheart. What's going on?"

The dam broke, and I couldn't hold back any longer. "I just... I feel like I'm not enough," I admitted. "Like everything which everyone has said to me just rushed into my head and then I started overthinking and that maybe they were right and I’m not a nice person and you deserve better than me. I'm scared, Gray. I'm scared of not being good enough for you. I'm afraid that one day, you'll realize you made a mistake being with me. That you'll see all my flaws and decide you deserve better."

Grayson's expression softened, and he closed the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me, his warmth grounding me to earth. "Hey," he murmured, holding me close. "You are more than enough. You belong here, and you belong with me. I love you, Y/N. and anyone who knows you, knows that you’re the most amazing person in the world and people who say otherwise need a reality check and are idiots."

I chuckle while wiping the remnants of my tears. Grayson smiled softly and kissed my forehead. "Sweetheart, listen to me," he said firmly. "I love you. I chose you because of who you are, not despite it. Your flaws, your strengths, everything about you makes you the person I fell in love with. I don't want perfect. I want you. You are everything to me. Don’t let anyone or yourself think otherwise.

"I don't know how to shake these feelings," I said quietly. "Sometimes its easier to handle but I don’t know what happened today"

Grayson pulled back slightly, saying “It’s good to let your emotions out love, but please let me help you through it. You don’t have to be alone”

"Thank you," I whispered, my voice choked with emotion. "Thank you for being here and for helping me."

"Always," he said softly. "Now, let's get you back to bed. You need rest, and we'll tackle whatever comes our way in the morning."

Helping me to my feet, and we made our way back to the bedroom. As we climbed into bed, Grayson wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat against my ear was a soothing lullaby, and I felt a sense of safety and belonging, helping me drift off to sleep.

[thelilylav]

We only see each other at funerals

(On Jason, Thalia, Nico, Bianca, and their parallels/connections)

The Titan's Curse (Rick Riordan), @/anxiousmaya_, Right Now (Gracie Abrams), The Battle of the Labyrinth (Rick Riordan), Joan of Arc (Mary Gordon), The Lost Hero (Rick Riordan), Episodes Toward and Elegy for Halley's Comet (Lindsey Drager), Jason Grace (Riordan Wiki), The Gods Show Up (Michael Kinnucan), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), What the Living Do (Marie Howe), The House of Hades (Rick Riordan), Planet of Love (Richard Siken), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), Tangerine (Nolune), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), The Blood of Olympus (Rick Riordan), I Bet On Losing Dogs (Mitski), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/abhorarchive (Twitter), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), Seventeen (MARINA), The Burning Maze (Rick Riordan), @/rollercoasterwords, The Tyrant's Tomb (Rick Riordan), @/the-overanalyst, Where Things Come Back (John Corey Whaley), Grit (Silas Denver Martin), Softcore (The Neighbourhood), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Frost (Mitski), @/moonbends, I'm Your Man (Mitski), Sun Bleached Flies (Ethel Cain), The Tower of Nero (Rick Riordan), Three (Sleeping At Last), My Art

[trans-axolotl]

oh my god. just got amazing fucking news. a bunch of things aligned perfectly and i will be GETTING A CUSTOM RIGID LIGHTWEIGHT WHEELCHAIR! I"M GETTING A QUICKIE QRI!!!! literally so fucking happy like i don't even have the words this is going to enable me to get back so so much and just so many more things and hopefully slow down the progression of some of my symptoms and just. i'm already spending so much time stuck in bed with worsening symptoms and falling and seizures and everything it's just. i'm literally so so so so so fucking happy and SO so grateful for the people making this possible.

anyway. have a few questions for any mutuals who are wheelchair users about measurements. most of the measurements have been taken, but there were some stuff they were leaving up to me so i wanted to get some feedback/ they were bad at explaining and i want to just double check that all the measurements were taken down right.

can anyone explain/provide resources on the difference between the front seat height measurement and the rear seat height measurement? right now rear seat measurement is 15" and front seat measurement is 17"--is the two inch difference reasonable/what is the reason for the difference? how does the height of my seat cushion play into what the final measurements for seat height should be?

what are the pros and cons of different frame angles? the person said anything from 75 degrees to 85 degrees would be good options but didn't explain the differences between the frame angles.

pros and cons of different size caster wheels? the person recommended 5" wheels but didn't explain why.

pros and cons of different center of gravity? the person measuring recommend 1.5" but didn't explain why.

for context about my mobility and what i'm looking for: i have pretty good upper body and core strength, no significant posture issues. pretty bad POTS, significant post exertional malaise, other issues with leg weakness, tremors, balance, seizures, neurological issues that currently make me a pretty significant fall risk. but i am still ambulatory, although it's pretty limited. will need to use chair outside the house and on public transit--navigating a lot of different types of sidewalks, lots of different hills, plenty of curbs with no curb cuts. so main things i'm looking for are a chair that's easy to navigate, turn, something I can learn to do wheelies in bc i will need that skill to navigate the city. etc.

if anyone has any advice or any resources for wheelchair measurement would be VERY appreciated bc i just want to double check everything and make sure it makes sense before the chair is ordered.

[velvetwyrme]

🗞️💥💥!!!

A little comic based on my initial response to @wave-nine's post ;3c

[devondespresso]

i was reading a scoops era steddie au where eddie visits scoops often and one thing i noticed i alway want but have yet to see (bear in mind my fic pallette is basically just shit i see on Tumblr and occasionally reading every fic a certain author has written) is a specific scene of eddie noticing stobins missing when he goes to visit them at scoops the day theyre stuck in the bunker. cause they entered the bunker after a shift one night and didn't get out until at the soonest the next afternoon right before the mall closes so if either or both of them were scheduled to work then they'd be just... gone.

and how characters around them handle that depends on how soon (if at all) they're declared missing. did robin think they'd be in-and-out in their snooping and tell her parents shes be back a little late or did she think they'd be out kinda late fucking around and just lied to her parents telling them shes sleeping over at a friend's like how we know tina was going to cover for erica? did mrs Henderson freak out when Dustin didn't bike back home (knowing what happened with will) or did she know he was with steve and trusted that they were goofing off or something?

and usually i see Steve's parents not being home but what if they were?? they could panic because steve always has some sort of excuse for why hes gone or maybe just his mom starts worrying because while his dad never really asks about him she does and she knows hes probably not at some girls house right now because he at least would have told her. or maybe mrs harrington doesn't know her son as well as she thinks she does and assumes he is out at some girls house and is relieved hes finally getting to be more like himself.

maybe just one or two people in scoops troop are reported missing that night and maybe the search started for them is enough for the other's parents or friends to realize they're all missing. maybe none of them are because they each already had a coverup with the people who'd notice. maybe they spent a good few hours in that elevator regretting lying about where they'd be because now no one knows they're in danger and by the time they start looking it could be too late (obviously erica didn't seem to grasp this yet but shes literally 10 and it's definitely her fist severely traumatic life or death experience. for the others tho it could definitely be on their minds and i have seen a few fics where robin wonders about how steve and Dustin are reacting like they've done scary shit like this before together)

then morning comes and id give it until lunch with no calls or anything before parents who believed their kids were sleeping over to start worrying seriously. maybe they call the friend their child's supposedly with and get a confused parent saying they haven't seen them or maybe they get the friend picking up and confirming they're fine (like tina). but if Mrs Henderson gets worried and calls steve she'll either get the harringtons saying he isn't home right now or she won't be able to reach him. and knowing steves like a big brother and a best friend to dustin knows that if steve missing too he's probably at least missing with him and goes to the station worried about them both

and then theres the fact that scoops has to open in the morning, probably sometime around 10am. maybe steve and robin were scheduled to both work again and as 10am comes and passes scoops ahoy hasn't been touched. maybe some mall manager calls the scoops manager (forgive me ive never worked in a mall but i do work in a store-within-a-store and we have our own manager plus the big store manager) and asks where their employees are. if missing persons reports were filed that last night then the manager would be really worried while frantically trying to find someone to cover for them. but maybe no one knows they're missing yet and their manager is grumbling about their no-shows, maybe considering firing them for both disappearing without even calling out. depending on how much they know and if the reports were filed, whoever has to cover their shifts is either worried about their coworkers (probably moreso robin than steve because of his reputation) or utterly pissed that they both didn't show and they have to open scoops ahoy with a few hours delay and probably a good few karens bitching about being closed. or maybe one or the other was scheduled and while their no-show is really inconvenient at least someone's there to open and ask for backup

and then theres steves car still parked in the back where it was the day before. a bike left behind at the mall is less eyebrow-raising but a fancy car? Steve Harrington's car? Steve Harrington who was scheduled to work today but somehow isn't in scoops right now? is he skipping work while simultaneously wandering around his workplace? and whats worse is despite evidence being there *no one can find him*. maybe thats what it takes for people to realize hes like actually missing. maybe they think he was kidnapped, hopefully he just went home with some girl and lost track of time.

and then theres eddie. eddie whos been stopping by scoops for a while now. maybe he still doesn't really like Harrington but likes teasing him with Buckley or maybe they've gotten pretty close. maybe they're already dating. maybe eddie walks up to scoops one morning to find it closed or to find that one or the other didn't show up for work this morning. maybe he hears from the worker that ones missing or maybe they get a rant about how pissed the worker is to be opening alone. maybe he's the one to go to a mall manager or security officer worried about scoops being closed because he *knows* the people that are supposed to be there right now and they don't just abandon work at the same time with no explanations.

or maybe eddie visits in the afternoons and learns they're missing from their coworkers or maybe hes there because he saw it on the news and went on his our hunt. either way it'd probably end with Eddie looking around the mall for them because he knows steve isn't going to just abandon his beemer in a busy public parking lot. maybe he finds them high out of their minds while checking the movie theatre (this one i do see a lot and am obsessed with its so good) or maybe he doesn't find them at all (its a big mall and they are actively hiding from Russians who know they escaped. sure stobin are not being very secretive while high but dustin and erica are at least keeping them in less-discoverable locations). maybe he goes home knowing hes looked everywhere in that damn mall and assumes they're probably kidnapped and taken somewhere else (if he did find them tho that opens a whole can of worms for if, how, and how much eddie gets involved and while my brains gone down sone of those rabbit holes i don't think i will today)

and then they see the news about the mall fire. and eddie knows damn well that he looked everywhere in that mall but didn't see a trace of his friends but there they are on the news and apparently in the fire. maybe eddie assumes he didn't look hard enough. but maybe he sees how steves the only one with more than a few bruises on his legs, how despite them claiming he was trapped in rumble that also allegedly killed billy hargrove he looks like hes carrying himself on adrenaline alone and hovering around robin and the kids like something more than falling support beams could get to them. maybe its the fact that he look as shit as he did but wasn't laying down on a hospital stretcher like he would be if he just got those wounds.

_._._._

hi if you saw any typos no you didn't UNLESS theyre funny or actually concerning then you should tell me and i can react appropriately

also i swear i feel like doctor strange looking through every possible reality when i go on tangents like this. idk whenever i come up with little fics in my head or come up with different ways my favorite unfinished fics could end im always exploring as many different versions of the same scenario as i can and coming up with as many what-ifs as i can.

also i pressed the poll button by accident while making this and idk how to make it go away to we're trying just ignoring it and not writing anything in it to see if it goes away

actually fuck that it probably wont work so im adding a poll question as a treat for the people who read this far

[starflungwaddledee]

alright. look, we're going to go into this because i genuinely want to think you didn't mean harm by this, but it's unacceptable to use this sort of manipulative phrasing. especially with strangers, some of whom are kids.

this is not a call-out. i've hidden all names except my own. i just need to address this post i was tagged in, and don't want to add it onto the end of the original post. i could also have done this privately, but i want this to be here for the other folks who were @'d. i won't @ anyone else who was mentioned in this post, but many of us are mutuals, so if you see this post and you're feeling at all stressed out or bad, i recommend just clicking through because i'm going to go into this.

firstly, and i'm going to make this transparent, person who @'d me: i don't think you're being malicious or did anything purposefully bad. i don't think you intended harm or that you are "a bad person". i don't have a single negative thought about you as a person. i don't make this post to be mean. i truly think you made an earnest mistake that could easily have hurt others, and i am stepping in with the hope this can be avoided in the future! per my usual boundaries on reassurance seeking, i will not reassure about this further.

secondly, the post that you tacked this onto IS important and a helpful resource, and it is great to bring attention to it. we should be doing everything we can to not only defend against, but actively fight back against generative AI. many people cannot access the most commonly recommended tools (myself included), so a resource like this is fantastic and i'm glad to learn about it and share it! i don't speak for anyone else, but i've said before that i personally don't mind being tagged in resources that could help me or others and i'm usually happy to share them, especially if i think the latter

but, assuming that you are genuinely well meaning and don't know better, you need to know that this is not the way to go about it. i don't mean mass-tagging, which is fine in times like this imo, i mean your written add-ons that actively guilt trip every single person you tagged.

"if you weren't convinced by the idea of being a good person" and "I do hope anyone I @'d isn't a bad person" in particular.

you may not have realised, but these are profoundly manipulative and cruel things to say. regardless of how you intended them, they are inciting guilt in the reader, and especially in the people who you actively called to come and look at it. here's what it sounds like:

"hey! you! yeah you! come look at this!! come closer! now, do what i ask you to do, or you're a bad person."

there are a million and one reasons someone might not reblog something. being tired, offline, anxious, even needing to run a specifically professional blog with exclusively your art on it for your own financial survival which makes it hard to reblog important posts like this; none of those are bad.

in this case, only one thing makes them a "bad person", and it's "they're pro-generative AI and did not reblog because they want to hide this information to ensure they can continue stealing from creatives".

i'm fairly confident you don't actually think anyone you tagged here has that point of view, or that you really have any doubts about their stances on generative AI. in fact, of the folks i recognise here, they're all independent creatives, sharing artwork with fandom for free on the internet. they are the victims of generative AI, and like most of us, are facing a terrifying future and are already desperate to find a way to defend/fight back.

you do not need to use manipulative language like this to get us to care about this sort of content! this affects us all, content creators and content consumers alike!

in future if you want to direct folks to something like this, which is super helpful and it was good of you to do!, you can just @ them so they see it. you can even say something like "this is important and some reblogs would sure help to boost it!". this is still a call to action, but without the manipulative phrasing, just in case they cannot act for any reason.

in the end, guilt tripping people like this, intentional or otherwise, is dangerous.

at best it will make them feel like shit and they'll feel forced to reblog + share from you out of guilt rather than just believing in the cause. and sometimes it feels like it's most effective, especially when things are urgent; but in my opinion the risk of harm is just too high. because at worst, you could accidentally send someone into a negative thinking spiral. you can never know what people are going through offline, or outside of your spaces, and how something like this will hit them.

[spiderwebbd]

Happy blorthday to @arcade-unknown you are SO cool/gen

Quality is so bad but. Have a little doodle :D

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID: four page comic of the owl house. Page 1: Eda walks past Luz, Gus and Willow, who're sat on the floor of the owl house around a box labeled "Eda's Music". Eda notices them and peeks around the corner asking "uh, hey kid- whatcha doin?". Luz says "oh hey Eda!".

Page 2: Luz says "we were just going through all your old human music!" While holding a CD case. She continues "I've been getting nostalgic listening to some old latin pop CDs, like what my mom used to play around the house! (You have a surprising amount of merengue music btw)". Gus sheds a single tear and says "I've sampled human music before but, wow, just, wow! The technique...the inspiration...Carly Rae Jepsen is a genius". Willow looks to the side and says "and I've been listening to your old breakup mixtapes!".

Page 3: Eda looks at her blankly before saying "my what?". Willow says- "your breakup music! There's a whole box of it. I'm pretty over it now but back in the day...when Amity stopped hanging out with me...it hit me hard. I kinda had a phase of only listening to angsty breakup songs for like...a month. Maybe more. It's kinda sad in retrospect".

In the background we can see a flashback of young willow sobbing in bed while summoning vines to cover photos of her and Amity on her wall. Willow continues "things are a lot better now don't get me wrong...but I still listen to that playlist every once in a while when I need a release". Eda contemplates, then grimaces, remembering breakup with Raine (who's pictured saying "it's over, eda").

Page 4: Eda looks at Willow. She eventually says "wanna trade?" And Willow looks up. Final panel shows Luz standing in the doorway concerned as she looks at Willow and Eda. willow is kneeling in front of a casette player and headphones with a shadowy expression and Eda is in the family guy death post with a phone and headphone wire next to her. Both have annotations- Willow's says "got One of Us by ABBA" and Eda's is "got Nightshift by Lucy Dacus". Luz says "you guys good?". End ID]

*slides my Eda and Willow trade angsty breakup songs on s2A hc across the table*

[is-this-tf]

Is it TF?

TF, as in Transformation, is a concept that can mean quite a few things to many different people- and when depicted in art or media, usually consists of some sort of physical or psychological transformation of one thing into another, often including the contexts before or after such a change occurs. 

For the purposes of this blog, the assumed pretense that the TF or TF-adjacent content depicted in posts on this blog being nonsexual in this manner is considered the default, and will be treated or engaged with as such unless clarified otherwise, but there are plenty of ways those who engage in TF art can enjoy it! There are many who consider it a paraphilia for themselves and commonly enjoy it as a sexual theme (as explained and described very well in this comic here), but it is also quite common for people to enjoy it entirely nonsexually, as well- perhaps exploring it under a lens of gender, as a vessel or narrative device to communicate themes, or just liking it as an unrelated special interest... TF is fascinating and alluring concept in itself, regardless of the ways it can be enjoyed and explored.

I made this blog because I love it when I see people unintentionally making TF posts on tumblr. I feel like it happens a lot and I think it's really, really funny when it does, by accident or not. Feel free to tag me in posts or send in questions asking if something is TF, and I'll give my honest answer as an expert in the field myself. 

Don't forget, words to live by:

Primary tags: #this is tf, #this is tf art, #unintentional tf, #intentional tf, #definitely intentional tf, #not tf

[hauntingblue]

Choose your favourite reaction

[rinielelrandir]

Very amused that people who don't know me at all read apparently half of what I posted earlier on I/P and decided my take that "I don't support any nation state and think we should do away with all of them but since this is the system we currently have it's decidedly antisemitic to single out Israel as The One To Destroy Above All Others and we should instead support peace and safety for both Israelis and Palestinians" is equivalent to "genocide is good actually." Like I know this is tumblr, aka the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension website but also like, idk, maybe learn to read before yelling at random people online and accusing them of supporting genocide? Also for the record, it's *really fucking weird and antisemitic* to yell at random Jews on the internet and accuse them of supporting genocide because they have Opinions You Personally Disagree With.

You can, in fact, simply block people who's takes you don't like. It's free! And easy! You hit the three dots at the top of the post, it opens a drop down menu and you select "block". Now the person who you think has Bad and Evil Opinions™️ will never show up in tags for you again! Problem solved! They might, unfortunately, show up on your dashboard if someone you follow reblogs something they posted or added to, because tumblr is slightly broken in that regard, but you will be saved from their opinions in tags. And they won't be able to interact with you! And there's even a handy feature you can use to hide *all* content they've ever made/posted, even stuff you're dearly beloved mutual who thinks they're cool reblogs. You just, blacklist the username. Now they will show up as filtered content and you have to manually unhide any post that mentions their username in any way, saving you from the Opinions You Don't Like. And they're free to continue *their* internet experience without you yelling at them for tagging things with something that is a general filter/sort/information tag simply because *you* think their opinions are Bad and Don't Belong There.

[fragmentedblade]

This seems to be a reference to Lorentz transformations? The first formula is apparently a derivation, and seems to be the inverse of the time part of the transformation (there's a space part too), for what I've been able to find.

The second formula is Newton's second law.

[yuutito]

Hi aleks, sometimes I feel like, no one wants to connect on this social media site? Idk. The like to rb ratio is depressing. I mean, I’m grateful that people are liking my posts. But like. I wanna hear what they think too, ya know?

not sure if you are a writer im guessing from the wording of this ask that you are. but I think it's a bit hard these days to get the level of interaction that you may be asking for

depending on what fandom youre in or what character youre posting about or what trope youre writing etc etc the size of the audience will change. like I already know in my mind if im writing something that is more geared towards stereotypical heteronormative relationships that will get much more interaction than something that is subversive. or if im writing a fic for a popular character that will get much more interactions than a not so popular one.

But at the same time, coming from someone who used to write for a very popular character, I have to say that the grass is not always greener? As in, I think there is a difference between quantity and quality of interactions. If im writing something that I know a core base of people who follow me will like, I know I will most likely get at least some sort of interaction from people who typically enjoy that content. I find that interaction to be more meaningful, especially if it's something I enjoy talking about. vs, if I write something with a bigger 'audience', perhaps there will be more reblogs but the back and forth interaction does not happen. that person will read the fic, reblog or leave a comment, and then be on their way. It does not create this relationship where you end up having a back and forth conversation or becoming mutuals or anything like that (at least, in my experience).

Like if I post a fic that EYE enjoy, and I get ten comments from lovely people, that means more to me than a hundred interactions on a fic I didn't put my whole dick into. ya know?

idk where im going with this. I guess I wanna say if you are passionate about something, and you receive even a few bits of feedback, that will feel so much more rewarding than trying to 'chase' the feedback by writing things you think others will enjoy. and I think too that people will be able to tell when you are writing something that you feel passionate about.

im of the opinion that you can't force people to reblog and interact with your work. ive seen every excuse under the sun for why people wont reblog. but I think if someone feels as passionate about something as you do, they will overcome whatever shyness they feel to come tell you that they appreciate what you are doing