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#so i don't know what my family is but whatever we are i can at least say my parents earned it and deserve it as immigrants
hannahssimblr · 2 days
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In the evening we bike to the shop to buy firelighters. Jen says she likes the idea of a bonfire while we eat our barbeque food, even though the only time one has even been lit at the beach house is when my dad did it, all the while ranting on about how he learned everything he knew about fire in the boy scouts, and how if I had an iota of discipline or self control I might have benefitted from them before the local pack expelled me for being a shithead.
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He was right. I reluctantly accept it as Jen and I approach the materials for making fire. Nobody has ever told me about the difference between briquettes and coal, what firelighters actually look like and exactly where peat plays into all of this. I know nothing about how to do manly things, and only ever figured out how to pitch a tent after subtly watching Shane do it the first time he and I went camping in the woods. 
In contrast, my father has shot an actual gun. He and his brothers hunted deer, game and wild pigs in the hills around their family farmhouse in Redding California. As they loaded up their rifles and zipped up their jackets they would say things to me about how I’d be coming with them someday, as though was some sort of honour, something to strive for, but by the time I was big enough to kill pheasants I was already five thousand miles away drawing comics on printer paper. My soft hands were meant for art.
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“You grab the firelighters,” I tell Jen, and take a swerve towards the magazine stand so that I can peruse something in my comfort zone. There’s a small selection of artsy magazines, and I flip one open. 
“Um, do you think we should buy gasoline or something?” She stands chewing on her lip. 
“Probably not, right? That seems dangerous.”
“Should we ask someone?” 
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“What? No.” Embarrassing.
I pretend to be engrossed in an article so that I don’t have to help, but while I'm there, an ad catches my eye, “Hey,” I call out to Jen, “would you want to go to an exhibition this weekend?”
“What kind?”
“Art.”
“Yeah, what kind?”
I turn the page to her so that she can see it, “contemporary,” and her eyes narrow at the images of weird sculptures made of bits of scrap metal, canvases with random splatters of paint dripping off the bottom, colour bleeding onto the floor.
“Hm. See, that’s the kind of weird art I don’t get.”
“It’s not about the art specifically, it’s about us doing something fun together.”
“And that’s in Dublin?”
“Yes.”
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She smirks in a self satisfied way, “You’re bored,” she stops a passing customer to ask him if he knows what firelighters are, and if so, what does the box look like.
He shows her, and while she’s picking up the last two packets I come to stand with her, not helping, because now I'm more interested in selling this new idea to her. “It’ll be fun! How nice would it be to have a change of scenery? Get back to the city where stuff is actually happening, maybe go to that ice cream place you like.”
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I’m certain this will sway her, but she pulls a face, “There’s loads of ice cream here, and the only reason you think nothing is happening on the beach is because you’re deliberately not doing anything.”
“Is it so bad that I want to have a day out with you?”
“No, I suppose not, but...” She wrinkles her nose “Fine. I don't want to be cynical. Do you think I’m cynical?”
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“Yeah a bit.” I pay for the firelighters. As we exit the shop into the lingering light of the evening I admit to her, “I’m trying to cheer myself up, I just think I should make the most of the time I have left.”
She laughs, “It sounds like you’re terminally ill. You’re moving. So what? I’ll still talk to you all the time.”
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“Yeah but I really want to savour these last few weeks. Will you come to the gallery?” I grip her arm and pretend to die, letting my knees buckle under me to really sell it, “...before it’s too late?”
“God, yes, fucking hell,” she groans, “I’ll come. I’ll do whatever you want for the rest of the summer, right?”
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I throw an arm around her, “Thanks Jen.”
“Yeah, manipulator.”
“Takes one to know one,” I say cheerily, and we unlock our bikes and head towards home.
Beginning // Prev // Next
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ishuess · 2 days
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With the whole chaos going on, I have a few things to say here..(a neutral perspective) This might not reach the involved individuals but here we go:
Fans fighting Fans: Do any of us realise that the fans which are arguing and fighting, their idols or whoever they r a fan of, are if not best friends, friends atleast civil with each other. So why don't we also follow their footsteps.
Digging out past: In their personal clash of opinions, they start dragging the celeb's past. Do they forget that those celebs r also human first and they can make past mistakes when just like us. I'm sure most young people have had some bad relationships that didn't work out, or hook ups or whatever. They are allowed to have personal lives. How would u like if someone dug out ur past relationship or your body count and presented in public with a possibility that three quarter of it is false or lie. If you can't understand the meaning of the term 'privacy' then atleast try to look up the term 'empathy'.
PR to make good impression: The term PR means 'public relations.' More than good reputation, it works as a barrier between personal life and professional life. Nobody announces their personal life in their work space to their boss. In case of celebs, the audience and the fans are the boss. They have every right to have a PR. So if someone shames a fan for believing in PR stories then I'm sorry to tell u but that's the whole point of PR to make believe. And if you know smth personal about the celeb you don't have the right to sell it on internet. Again the reason is privacy and empathy.
Fans becoming offended when their idols are questioned: Saying this from a neutral perspective, every celeb is asked what they do. Each one of them faces trolls. Even Ishan did face trolls and some of them were big celebs themselves but there is a saying, "Actions speak louder than words." Every starkid faces questions like, what does he/she do? and that they r there because of their family but do you ever see Ananya Pandey or Babil or Arjun Kapoor act like they owe explanation. They just work to prove themselves. Then why do 'certain' fans get worked up. Relax and understand this is the social world where these celebs will have to face such things. Trolling is smth each and every celeb faces and if you keep defending ur idol, it's waste of time. I would suggest that wait for the day ur idol shuts them by their work.
Homophobia and clash of opinions: Assuming people's sexuality and degrading others opinion is also very wrong. Yeah ok u think they r straight while the other thinks they r gay. None of you know the actual answer, only the person in question knows that. Then why would u both argue to prove your point. Sometimes it's not even about gender, it's about the person and thier nature that one falls in love with. So you're free to assume ur opinion but not free to degrade other's opinion and make them guilty about it.
Respecting the boundaries of being a fan: there's a nice and simple way of being a fan- appreciate and accept. Just appreciate whoever you're a fan of and accept that some might not like them. And before shaming the other celeb, think once of your idol will like it or not.
So a simple summary of the situation is
-have empathy and respect boundaries of the celebs.
-take jokes and accept that there is no point in fighting.
-enjoy ur time as a fan without ruining others experience.
-past is past and people change and grow upm
That was my general perspective. You're still free to form opinions but please do it respectfully and peacefully. This is not a battleground. I hope some people find this as an eye opener and if not realise their mistakes but atleast read it with an open mind and consider your actions. Wishing you a good day ahead.
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a-spes · 2 days
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| UNTIL ONE OF US DIE — Drabble (958 words).
| Summary — you promised to marry her but you didn't.
| Tags & warnings — Part of my "A drabble a day in june" challenge. — Yelena Belova x Reader, childhood friends (lovers?), death (R), angst without comfort, bittersweet, mentions of the redroom.
| REQUEST GUIDELINES — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING
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Everyone has always lied to her but it was fine, she got used to it. She smiles, pretending she doesn't see right through their games, doing whatever they are expecting her to, even if she knows that the only reward she'll get for it is a bitter disappointment. She is born to serve, and that's what she does the best. They give her a mission, she completes it, and then they are happy enough to leave her alone for a few days — Weeks, when she is lucky.
That's how the world works for her, it always did, but some truth are more difficult to accept. That her family never existed, that she has been ripped of a few years of her life, that her sister died, but also that you didn't keep your promise.
You were just kids but it still counted, didn't it?
It was only a few words that you whispered to each other when you were no older than ten years, something that happened in the secrecy of the dormitory. You both knew it was a dangerous game because no one was allowed to dream but you didn't care. As far as she can remember, you've never cared about anything.
"We can do it," you said, trying the blonde to break the rules with you, but she was too stubborn for that. She admired your recklessness as much as she hated it, knowning you could get in trouble for that. "We just have to make sure that they don't catch us. What they don't know can't hurt, right?"
Except it does, because they always knew. Until recently, she hadn't be able to understand why they kept you around all these years. You were an average widow wrapped in a sick layer of trouble, closer to the girls who received a bullet in their head than to those who held the gun.
You were borned in a place where light doesn't exist, and yet you had the brightest smile. You had no memories of your family. They ripped you from them before you could learn the sound of their voices but that never stopped you from dreaming. You spent your time imagining a life you've never — and will never — know, and it contaminated the others. Even she has sometimes surprised herself dreaming about what her life would be outside these walls.
"One day, I will marry you," you've told her back then, and she didn't believe you until you swore on every you had. Even if it wasn't a lot, it meant everything for the blonde.
It was more than a childish promise, it was the hope of a brighter future, and she held on it. Every time, even now, she sooth herself asleep by thinking about what your life together could be like. You would've the biggest house that can exist, and it would be far from everything, just the two of you, and maybe a dog or a cat. You would both love that peaceful and quiet place. It would be your little secret, a space just for the two of you that no one would know about.
"I'll find you. They can't separate us forever," she told you the day you were moved to a different unit with a few other girls. It was a week before the graduation, and she was scared that you didn't passed. That day, they took away the light of the group, and things has never been the same anymore. Maybe that's why they kept you for so long, to instil hope in the hearts of the other girls, only to rip it from them later. To break them into obedience.
The blonde kept her promise. She's been looking for you since she left that place. You were the last piece needed for the new life she wanted to start, and the most important one. It's been years she hasn't see you, what if she can't reconignise your face? What if you don't even remember her? All these questions were swirling in her head as she was waiting in her car, parked in the other side of the street. It was never easy to track a widow, especially when they seem to have done everything to make you disappear form the files.
After a few months, she eventually got a lead. She found a file about a mission you've been working on a few years ago but, most importantly, she found the widow that was sent in with you, the one she was waiting for in front of her building.
"Where is she?" she asked, showing a picture of you to the woman. The latter frown but when she eventually recognize the young face she was being shown as yours. However, all she gives to the blonde is a sad smile. She didn't need more to understand what those desolate eyes meant.
Yet, she didn't believed until she was shown the place of your grave. She wasn't even sure if you were there, they probably left your body were it died or maybe they burned it. She doesn't know, and she is not sure she wants to. That day, she left the cimetery without the ring she has bought for you when she got out, tossing it in the bushes.
As she walked away, she could still hear your voice and the promise you made that day. The one you've never — and will never — kept. You lied, and you breaking her trust was the hardest thing she's ever had to accept in her life.
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| REQUEST GUIDELINES — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING
| Tag list - @m0nsterqzzz
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no-passaran · 1 day
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Happy Pride month! Here are some things I want as an asexual person:
Protect asexuals seeking asylum. Asexual asylum seekers still aren't accepted because asylum laws only include the strict l, g, b and t letters. Many asexual people around the world are forced into marriage, threatened, subjected to corrective rape and pseudoscientific conversion "therapies". Include the A in the acronym and it will save lives.
Affordable housing. Many asexual and aromantic people do not establish romantic relationships with a partner. The current housing model is a disaster for all the working class, but even more so for people who want to (or have to) live alone. People should be able to afford their own housing with 1 person's wages.
Housing for households outside the nuclear family. Many asexual and aromantic people decide to live with friends, QPRs, or other structures outside of the amatonormative nuclear family. Some real estate agencies and residential area regulations don't allow housing to be rented or sold to people who aren't living with a romantic partner who they are married to or intend to get married to, designating certain areas "for families" with a strict definition of what a family is. (The podcast @theacecouple talked about it in this episode)
Asexual people should be included in anti-discrimination laws.
Training for medical professionals should include education on asexuality and its experiences, same way that their training in many countries already must include training on L, G, B and T care. "How often do you want/have sex", "how often do you masturbate", and questions related to libido are routinely used to diagnose patients. This can be a helpful element in some cases for people who aren't asexual, but medical professionals should stop misdiagnosing asexual people out of ignorance or pressuring them for their orientation.
End conversion therapy. When a person explains to a medical professional that they don't get sexually attracted to anyone or that they don't want to have sex, the official course of action in most countries is for the medical professional to tell them they need "treatment". That is conversion therapy and can be extremely traumatising and anti-scientific. Sexual orientation doesn't get changed. If our asexuality causes us distress, it's because of how we are treated by society and made to feel abnormal.
Right to healthcare. We should be able to say the truth to healthcare providers without fear that we'll be put in conversion therapy, misdiagnosed, taken off necessary medication, that the medical staff will try to fix our sexuality instead of whatever problem we actually have, or other forms of discrimination. End the medicalization of asexuality (especially when the medicine given to "cure" women of being asexual is often just making them sleep so their boyfriend/husband can rape them and has been found to have other negative secondary effects).
Sex ed in schools should take asexuality into account. This doesn't only mean mentioning that asexuality exists (which already isn't being taught, leading asexual young people to feel pressured, out-of-place, alone, and can lead to putting themselves in dangerous situations), but including asexuals in the creation process of these curricula, too. Sex ed must take into account all its students to offer enough information for their safety, health, and well-being. For example, including asexuals in the creation of the course will mean stop assuming that there are things that don't need saying because "everyone knows". In my case, I would most importantly have liked to be taught that having sex is something people should do because they and the other person(s) involved want to, not because it's mandatory. It's not "everyone knows that", because it never crossed my mind that it's something people want, and I've read many others share the same experience.
Acceptance from family. Many asexual people, myself included, get forced to come out to their families because of their families' obsession with the asexual person's lack of sexual and/or romantic interest. The answer to coming out is often insulting and humiliating. I was told that if I don't like people it must mean I'm a zoophile and sexually attracted to objects, I was repeatedly called a liar and brainwashed by Catholic moral (I'm an atheist), I was pressured into going to a psychologist to fix my sexuality, that it's unnatural and unhealthy, that I'm repressing myself, and I was told that I must go out to party and let any young man have sex with me "doesn't matter who it is". When I answered that I don't want to and that to me it would be rape, I was told it would be worth it to fix me. Judging by what other asexual people explain online, and what other non-asexual friends who weren't interested in doing it were told by their parents, this is not uncommon.
Being believed by friends. Many asexual people explain their friends don't believe them when they say they don't find anyone attractive like that. This can go from openly direct hate speech to little things such as teen games like asking everyone who they like or have a crush on and not accepting "I don't like anyone" as an answer, accusing the person of lying, of not trusting the other friends, "everyone said it so you must too", often pressuring the asexual person until they end up making it up and lying to their friends by picking someone they're not actually interested in, making the asexual person feel like there's something wrong with themself and that they must hide in order to be accepted.
Acceptance and support from social movements. For example, sex positive movement further stigmatises us when it says things like "there's two kinds of people: those who say they masturbate and those who lie", or base acceptance of sexuality on arguments of "everyone does it". Subsets of the LGBTQ movement often also engage in hate campaigns against asexual people online, from spreading false rumours that asexuality is fake and it's straight people trying to infiltrate the community, to spamming asexual tags with porn to cause distress to asexuals and make the tags useless so we can't find each other and have spaces to talk about our experiences —in conclusion, so we can't have an online community.
Get rid of consummation laws. Most legislations say that for a marriage to be valid, there must be consummation, meaning that the couple must have had sex. This discriminates asexual people in their marriages, which are considered invalid. (Again, @theacecouple covered this very well in this episode).
Consent for being exposed to sexual material. It shouldn't be considered childish to not want to watch certain material or hear about certain topics because it's explicit. Events like Pride should explain what is going to happen and what the expectations are, so people can freely take an informed decision on whether that event is for them or not. Social media should have labels or tags that individual users can choose to blacklist. Tumblr users should actually tag the nsfw posts as such and use the mature community label. This way, everyone can still post what they want without censorship but we're not forced to see it or can choose when to see it.
End objectification and over-sexualization, particularly of girls and women who are most affected by this. End cat calling!!!
Educate on a more developed concept of consent. Make everyone understand that consent is a must, and that pressuring someone into saying yes, making someone feel like saying no isn't an option, or like having said yes to one thing also includes other things or the same thing other times, is not consent. Marriage or being in a romantic relationship also doesn't equate consent for sexual acts (end marital rape).
Stop making fun of people for not having sex. Stop using "virgin" as an insult. Stop spreading the idea that being a "virgin" means being a loser, ridiculous, childish, or a failure in life. Stop using the "virgin vs chad" meme. Stop insulting someone saying "this is what someone who doesn't have sex sounds like". Stop equating the number of sexual partners with success, particularly for men. This only pressures people against their will or possibilities, creates mental problems and incel mentality for people who want to desperately get out of the "loser" category that leads to rape, causes other people such as asexuals to self-hate and putting themselves in dangerous situations, and makes other people associate asexuality and not having sex in general with negative characteristics (aka bigotry).
Public libraries and library apps including books about queerness and asexuality. For many people, particularly young people and other people who live with their families, it can be difficult to buy books on asexuality, since they're often not found in physical libraries and must be ordered online. Living with possibly aphobic parents or flatmates, libraries and library apps are an important resource. A small percentage of population is asexual and asexual people often don't come out, so the internet and literature are often among the few ways we can feel like we're not alone and learn how to navigate a life outside the norm from other asexual people.
Feel free to add more if you want!
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olympushit · 1 day
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I once answered a question about who my least favorite god was. In my answer I said that I believe that each greek god is flawed, because ancient greek philosophers imagined the gods to have a human nature. I also added I strongly believe that each greek god represents a specific flaw. Well, I wanna share it with you guys!
The flaws each god represents are:
Zeus: adultery and disloyalty, we all can agree on this
Hera: jealousy and malice, I mean she was cheated on constantly, but she shouldn't make victims the one's who are not responsible, especially Zeus' children
Poseidon: egotism and feeling inferior, because if you think that he wanted Zeus' throne and he made Odysseus' life unbearable and impossible for him to return home, that's what it is.
Demeter: stubbornness, because you can't make the whole world starve to death. I know that losing your child is a big deal, but still tge poor mortals shouldn't have endured her rage.
Athena: feeling superior, and for me it's not a good thing to have. She took Zeus' permission to hurt Ares and when she defeated him she pointed out how inferior he was.
Artemis: she was cruel for killing her companion Callisto, when the one to blame was Zeus for taking the appearance of Artemis to seduce her.
Hermes: cleptomania and lying, he was a sweet talker and a trickster and never hesitated to use those against anyone, be it serious or just have fun.
Apollo: Killing Koronis because she was unfaithful, while she was pregnant to his child is beyond cruel. And let's not forget that no greek god was faithful to their lovers, so it's kinda hypocritical.
Ares: Not putting his mind to work and always being spontaneous and sentimental. Also, he was indecisive and never cared about consequences, because he broke his promise to Hera and Athena about his side on the Trojan war, but it's not really his forte to choose sides on a war.
Hephaestus: He wanted so badly to be accepted by his family, that he lost reasoning when he trapped Ares and Aphrodite on his bed. Not that Ares and Aphrodite were right, but if we take the myth that Ares and Aphrodite had children and were together before the incident, then it was cruel of Hephaestus to separate them to marry Aphrodite.
Aphrodite: Full of herself, she couldn't accept that someone was more beautiful than her, and also vindictive towards Helios daughter and Eos.
Hades: Doing whatever he wants. You can't just abduct Persephone taking Zeus approval and let Demeter suffer.
Dionysus: alcoholic. We can all agree to that the god of wine constantly drinks wine.
Hestia: Nothing about her. She never meddled in drama or caused any problems!
That's my pint of view about their flaws. I don't want anyone to get offended if they like a certain god, this is just my opinion based on events. I bad-mouthed everyone here!😂😜
What do you think? Is there anything else you may wanna add? Write it in the comments!
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blush-and-books · 2 days
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Also thoughts on finale!!!!!
AHHH OK I HAVE A LOT
1. Yes, felt a bit like a rushed finale, trying to tie up loose ends and whatnot. It is what it is, but in the 16-episode seasons the writers definitely were able to pace things insanely well, so you feel how clipped they are in this 10-episode season.
2. I was totally misled by fics and other posts that Harvey like pressured her into marrying him and that he had decided to move to Seattle without us getting to see them talk about it, but I was pleasantly surprised to not feel that way about how it went down!! When Donna brought up the concern that their families weren't there, he instantly said they'd do it again, and IDK something in Donna's vibe was just giving of crazy "yes I need to marry you right now" energy. The man she's been pining after for years is literally proposing to her with his grandmother's ring THAT HE WAS KEEPING IN HIS POCKET!!!! yeah i would fold and have an impulse wedding too. she got her bag!!
about Seattle, I made a post about this but lowkey it felt like an idea that Donna had, knowing that Harvey was leaving the firm and that with everything that's happened, they both needed a change of pace and a support system in Mike and Rachel. Huge bummer that we don't get to see how the decision was made, but her adamant behavior in telling Louis that they both want to leave and also her checking in with Harvey and asking HIM "are you sure you want to do this" felt very much like she was checking in because he had agreed to HER plan, not the other way around. She's very clearly comfortable and happy with the decision. We love to see it.
3. When Louis mentioned (before the Faye takedown) that him, Donna, and Harvey were all that was left of PEARSON HARDMAN, I fucking cried. I hadn't heard any of the characters call it PH in so long and it was a crazy realization that they really were the originals from before the series had even started.
4. Donna's dress was so beautiful at the wedding I kept looking at it like 🥹
5. Donna saying in her vows that 100 years would never be enough time with Harvey.... Yeah I felt that. They wasted so much time not being together that now, no amount of time is enough.
6. WE FINALLY GOT TWO FULL "I LOVE YOUs" FROM HARVEY TO DONNA LMAO
7. I wish after the wedding they were at least a little more affectionate with each other and we got one more "my wife"/"my husband" (DONNA DESERVES TO FLAUNT HER BAG!!!! (her bag is harvey <33)). Like I wish we just got a little more juice or something about them being excited to do this next chapter together or whatever. But oh well that's what fanfiction is for
8. When Donna instantly went to hold Lucy first and Harvey was just smiling at them.... Oh my mind was at WORK!!!
9. As iconic as it would have been for darvey to be walking out of the offices together, I actually really appreciated that last moment between Donna and Louis, because their friendship is incredibly strong and I liked that it was acknowledged!!! And having Harvey be the last one out was just very iconic like yeah I ate that up that's our man
10. name partner katrina bennett my beloved <333
Sorry for the long post!!! Thank you for asking about my thoughts I'd love to hear how you feel about any of the bits and just how the episode goes overall
(I also cannot wait for Netflix to finally drop season nine so I can get more darvey stills at last)
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cheesycatz · 3 days
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Worm in the Apple (the Wormton AU fic) is at 120k words! Obviously the worm guy loves apples, fruit, and sugary stuff in general, though it holds no nutritional value for him. It's fitting, since most of the "worms" found in apples are actually just some form of insect, just like how Wormton himself isn't an actual worm. Being as contradicting as possible is his whole thing, I suppose.
May blithering helminth codswallop posthaste be upon thee if thoust must ruminate over thine virulent and insiduous merchant Sir Spammington G. Spammington The Deceitful:
Anyways, I've been struggling to write the depressing crap, so I often like to imagine the ending where they can all be happy together in Castle Town. I interpret Castle Town as a place where darkners are less bound to fate, since it doesn't seem to manifest from the real world, and is made of pure darkness, whatever that means. Wormton wouldn't have to hide anymore, but he would very much be, uh, neutralized if he tries to infect anything. He wouldn't get to have sixteen identical feral worm children that look like slightly smaller mirror images of him crawling all around the place, unfortunately; Castle Town could do without a highly invasive species that eats and destroys everything. I imagine that he'd keep the suit jacket so that he actually has some pockets, as well as to hide himself a little bit. Malworms naturally like to stay outside of the spotlight, so he's not very comfortable without his disguise. Not that being crammed inside his disguise was much more comfortable, but, hey, what other option did he have?
I like to imagine the addisons getting stuck with Wormton in Castle Town due to it having greater population density. I'm considering making it so that they don't even know he's there at first, like those criminal cases where some guy is living in a family's attic for months unnoticed. He'll have the opportunity to harass Swatch, interact with other characters like Lancer, and send "mild" death threats to Rouxls. I think he'd avoid Kris and the other lightners. He tries to kill Kris and absorb the SOUL from the get-go, and the two of them lack that puppet connection, since Wormton never picked up the phone. Still, he does pick up on their stilted movements that mimic his own when he's puppeteering his disguise, and does realize that the SOUL is a little more controlling than he would want, so they eventually reach a peaceful conclusion (This AU follows the pacifist normal route. This cold-blooded mf would probably just go into hibernation and do absolutely nothing if the player did a Weird Route). He's still pissed about them taking his shadow crystal, even if the starry night sky it once let him witness will never shine through its surface again. Kris is such a gremlin from what we know that I think it would he sweet if he valued the fact that, while they find his puppet-like disguise creepy, they're unfazed by his real appearance. Kris can go on his "people I don't fantasize about murdering and eating regularly" list, which might just be his "nestmates :^]" list if he'd actually admit it
Back to writing about him hating himself so much that he can't fathom someone healing him unless it was a transactional favor, hiding in a locket closet with no stimulation because he thinks he's trying to kill Blue whenever he's in an instict-driven half-asleep state (emphasis on thinks), believing the only reason that Blue is worried about him hiding so much is because they want him to leave faster, understanding so little of his actual species that he becomes stressed when he does anything that "isn't normal," Having fits of anger and mental breakdowns and feeling bad about it afterwards, using the worst coping mechanisms known to man, and devouring an entire 16 inch regular crust meat lover's pizza in one sitting
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Cover art concept as a lil treat. Probably won't actually draw it until I'm ready to start releasing chapters, but it's fun to think about for now. I'll do my best to live up to expectations as someone with zero experience writing fiction and long-form content in general o7
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gffa · 3 days
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Did they at least fix what was wrong with Jason? like did Bruce at least fix what he did to Jason? Like im coming to terms with the fact that Jason as a character is now just a prop to serve Bruce whether to make him look good for saving the streetkid from becoming a Evil Criminal, or to give shock value to readers, or to dispense platitudes about the importance of family and how wonderful Bruce.
and that he will never be allowed to be or do anything good unless is in the service of batman in someway, but at least i need to know that Bruce fixed what he did wrong, and that they didnt just forget about that like the other time Bruce was awful to Jason.
I'm not really aware of them even specifically addressing it outside of maybe The Man Who Stopped Laughing, but like. That's kind of the things comics does, all comics I've read will do this at some point or another. They do over the top ridiculous nonsense and those plot threads often get dropped, I don't think we're meant to take them seriously, just like I don't think we're meant to look at Jason and think of him as the guy who shot an 11 year old child straight through the chest and probably right through his spine, and not forgive him for it. Comics are bonkers and I don't think they're meant to be taken with the seriousness we would of these actions in the real world--otherwise, almost ALL of these people have done things that they could never fix, you know? I don't know where your lines in the sand are, I don't know what you're looking to get out of comics, whether you're here for the canon or you're here for the fandom--and none of that is said with any shade, there's a whole wide variety of reasons to be a fan of something. I can't really give advice here because it's something you have to figure out what you want from comics and what you think they're meant to be might be totally different from what I think they're meant to be. And I'm struggling to word all of this, because I can feel how frustrated you are, how I've been there and felt heartsore about the place my faves occupy in canon, like I was and am a Pietro Maximoff fan in the comics, I have intimately known the pain of a character only being an extension of other characters, being written horribly by those who don't care about him, and desperately holding onto that one run where he was written brilliantly even though it was from 20-30 years ago. Versus that that's just the way comics often are, our faves just are not A-list characters, that comics are on a tiered hierarchy and we have to make our peace with that. Not all of the characters we like are the same ones the company likes or the writers like and that sucks. Whether that means walking away from comics (like I did after Marvel threw the X-Men under the bus for the Avengers in AvX, like I've stopped reading Quicksilver comics because my heart couldn't take it anymore) or just reading comics and then turning to fandom to realize the potential that canon never intended, whatever you need to do to make your peace with how comics operate, that's all any of us can do. I don't know if you're just in need of venting or if this is truly a breaking point for you, but it probably is true to some degree that Jason's always going to be written as an extension of Bruce's character, because Bruce Wayne Sells So Many Comics, of course DC is going to make everyone an extension of him, to some degree or another. (Honestly, right now, I think the only Bat escaping that is Dick and even he is still extremely tied to his relationship with Bruce.) Until those characters sell as many comics as Bruce does, I don't see that changing. All we can do is find the moments of something worth having fun with in the meantime, because comics are not a coherent medium, they are messy and tons of stuff is never addressed on-screen because every writer is coming in with their own agenda and it's pure chaos, and in my experience we just have to find joy in the whirlwind of it all.
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ereborne · 24 days
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Song of the Day: May 14
"Diamond on a Landmine” by Billy Talent
#song of the day#buckle up babes this one's a nice showcase of how my brain retains memories which is to say it's a long path to a close destination#in early 2011 when Leverage's season three had recently wrapped#one of my friends was writing a character study piece for Eliot with a partial focus on his toxic relationship with Damien Moreau#and they made a writing playlist for the fic that included this song#(and also 'Laughing with a Mouth of Blood' by St Vincent. absolutely killer song)#and I like the song but for whatever reason I never looked up anything else by Billy Talent#(I was at the time not spending so much time looking up new music but more just letting it come to me#in 2017 St Vincent came out with 'Los Ageless' and I was like oh I know her!! and I started paying attention to her albums#which is good because then in 2021 she released the Daddy's Home album which has 'Pay Your Way in Pain' /and/ 'The Melting of the Sun'#which are absolutely incredible tracks and my life would've been less without them)#and then today I saw a Call of Duty post with lyrics from Billy Talent's 'Afraid of Heights'#and I didn't recognize the lyrics so I went and pulled up the song as how I do#and as it played I was like. do I know this? no. I know something like this. what is it?#and at first I was convinced I'd just been listening to it but then why couldn't I place it? and then I realized I hadn't heard it recently#but I had been /thinking/ about something /related/ to it--which I had been. sort of. there's a Damien Moreau post queued for tomorrow--#and then in Afraid of Heights the chorus was wrapping up#'you're the only one I'd follow til the end of time / if we fall we fall together baby don't think twice again'#and something clicked and I dragged 'Diamond on a Landmine' up out of the depths of my various-artists folder#it's a great song got an excellent build to it#'alone at last / I can't wait til we're alone at last / all I wanted was a second chance / a second chance / to hold you in my arms at last#and the visual of 'better watch your step / she's a diamond on a landmine' is fantastic#anyway! I made giant scotch eggs with my family's spicy sausage ball mix instead of the normal breading and they're amazing#a good day#two weeks into May already can you imagine
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blujayonthewing · 5 months
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reflecting on how all of my other DMs have gone above and beyond to lovingly weave my and my friends' backstory elements into the larger worldbuilding of the campaign by contrast to all of the ways Elyss' DM has gone out of his way to suppress or excise any influences her family may have ever had on anything and I'm genuinely near tears over it
#'I'm so surprised that Elyss wasn't more interested in going to her mom's hometown now that you're in her homelands!'#YOU! CHANGED Nami's backstory so that she never traveled anywhere before having Elyss#and YOU decided that she never tells Elyss literally anything even when directly asked#because you're so desperate to make sure your players never know literally anything about whatever might happen to them ever#YOU made it feel not only unrewarding but as if it was actively unwelcome for you if I even talked to my mother!!#'we're making this very dangerous journey (that you've been retconned not to have made yourself so you can't spoil it)--#--assuming we survive can you please tell us anything at all about what to expect the other country to be like?'#'well. it is different than here. it may not be what you expect.'#'oooh why didn't you go to hometown' SUCK MY DICK I ASSUMED YOU'D BE ANNOYED IF I WENT THERE HOPING TO FIND ANYTHING#of course ELYSS wants to try to touch any part of her own heritage she can!!#do you think she doesn't wonder whether she has family there? do you think maybe it's weird that she doesn't already know??#when *I* built Elyss' mother I made her a traveler from a far-off land so neither of us had to worry about it#YOU decided to send us to THAT far-off land specifically and then REFUSE to let Nami actually TELL me anything about it!!#feels very much like you don't want me to engage with that! feels very much like you ACTIVELY don't want me to explore that connection!#and if it felt like *Nami* was being secretive about it then Elyss would be even more keen to investigate herself--#but it's just part of a well-established pattern of NPCs going 'it's a secret teehee' for very obviously no other reason than that--#the DM just doesn't ever want us to have information even if NPCs have that information and have no reason not to share it#anyway. tl;dr grief over elyss yearning her whole life for somewhere to belong#but not going to her mother's birthplace because she has no reason to believe there's anything there for her.#for purely stupid empty meta reasons.#'I'm surprised you didn't go there 👀' so maybe he had something!#but my mother-- through you-- was so cagey about whether her parents even exist that I kind of just figured you didn't! so!!#about me#my OCs#elyss
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hauntingblue · 3 months
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Just thought about something for a second: shanks is so fucking sketchy. He warned shirohige about blackbeard and to stop ace and look at what happened. Also now he is talking to the gorusei about luffy (probably about his fruit (joyboy/nika if I assume right) bc he was the one who found it) and now imu is after him, shirahoshi (poseidon) and vivi (who knows something about the weapon mariejoa holds bc of her family's history with the place), blackbeard is still a menace but because of having two fruits or because of being a d? Both? And what does that make him a menace at ancestral weapon level (like the others)? I have so many questions. Why does shanks like luffy but still warns the gorusei about him. Why do they respect him. Why did they let him stop marineford. Why is he so powerful. Why is he a yonkou. Shanks is key to all this and I DON'T KNOW WHY
#went on a bender here. welcome to my twisted mind#its 2am WHATEVER#talking tag#watching one piece#i just started wano I know about joyboy bc that is inescapable but THAT'S IT and i don't wanna know more so shhh#i really need to make my corkboard.... i really do#actually i might go on another bender here; pluton is the god of the underworld and imo its adam the boat (makes sense bc tom has its plans#and he and his family are from gyojin island so they passed them down thru generations) and it's the boat that will carry the gyojin to the#surface#now shirahoshi is poseidon which can tell the sea beasts to carry the boat to the surface#now luffy is joyboy who promised something (to carry the gyojin to the surface?) to the previous poseidon#but joyboy is nika who is the sun who is in the sky. so now we have the underwold (adam/pluton). the sea (poseidon) and the sky (nika)#and luffy is nika but then the weapon in mariejoa is the strawhat??? I MEAN YES BUT HOW DOES LUFFY GET IT LMAO bc its just his fruit right?#does he even need it? is it just a represetation bc it went missing?#and what does vivi have to do with this#AND DID SHANKS GET THE GUM GUM FRUIT FOR THE GOVERNMENT BC THEY WERE SEARCHING FOR IT AND NEW ABOUT JOYBOY/NIKA#AND HE IS JUST A GOVERNMENT ARM POSING AS A PIRATE????? but then the government must have known about the fruit and shanks doesnt#need to tell them.... or maybe he hid the gum gum fruit was the one with nika in it and is now telling the truth to them....#if it even works like that...#shanks being so well off bc he is affiliated with the gov makes too much sense bc we havent seen how strong he is apart from the haki....#and every yonkou is just weirdly born to never die or something#you know this is so bad bc i havent seen the last movie about shankd bc you know i am not that far yet so i am just throwing spaghetti to a#wall and seeing what sticks but like if there wasn't even a wall there#ALSO robin is gonna get her THREE poneglyphs in wano!!! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY SAY#pulling threads#<- literally#pulling strings
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spring-lxcked · 6 months
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evil evil man but he can't date sb who doesn't enjoy physical affection from him because he's so damn needy. he sees his partner sitting down and he either has to be in their lap or as close to them as possible. even if he falls asleep next to his partner not cuddling, they'll still wake up with him half on top of them. kisses as greetings and goodbyes and because he's bored and yes there's a 43.25% chance he'll try to turn it into a makeout even if they're busy with something. partner is like "you're distracting me" and he's literally rubbing his face against theirs like "no i'm not." and he'll start this shit in the pre-dating """Platonic""" phase too if the person will let him and he likes them enough.
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solitaryparadise · 1 year
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Tagged by @dataframe-daze, ty friendo
Last Show: oh man I've been meaning to watch Castlevania 2016 for like a month and a half now, dunno why I haven't. I think the last thing I watched start to finish was chainsaw man as well lol. I've also been watching critical role campaign 2 but not sure if that counts.
Currently Reading: the recent chapters of berserk, and if manga doesn't count, uhhh I listened to an audiobook of The Metamorphosis sometime back. If audiobooks don't count then I haven't touched an actual paper book since highschool lmao
Current Obsession: getting my ass handed to me in street fighter 6 ranked and civilization 6
Tagging: hmm @professor-doc-emeritus @jingo and @christ-chan-official
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sherlock-is-ace · 1 year
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#i need to do some brain working out to try to get stronger and not overthink things#but i am upset and feeling very anxious rn (:#i came back from the optician (which i was dreading) and just started sobbing#i'm so overwhelmed right now you have no idea#i went to get my new glasses which were SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE like waaaaay more than i thought#and i don't have much choice of frames either because of all the shit that go into my lenses#but the choices i had today where not only very few but also ugly as fuck#but literally had no choice cause i don't have money and i had to get the cheapest frames to sort of balance how expensive the frames are#and what makes me feel like a piece of shit is that i'm complaining about ''ugly frames'' and whatever when i am able to get them#like i was able to do all the tests i needed to get done i am able to go and buy the glasses with the graduation and the prism and everythi#and i'm SO FUCKING LUCKY that i can and that i have a job that allows me to buy these#and that my family doesn't have to pay them (cause we couldn't)#and i feel like a dick for complaining cause i can fix my eyesight (to an extent) with glasses and i'm not actually blind or anything#but it also sucks that i have to spend literally all of my money just to be able to see#i'm trying so hard to get in the mindset that i'm not getting these glasses for fashion but as medicine#like if i needed a wheelchair it wouldn't be for fashion either#these are aids to help me be healthy and safe and not get run over by a car#even if they look like shit#but you know i'm conflicted :/#angel talks#personal
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medicinemane · 1 year
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"DIY tiny home you can build in weeks", ok... now lets see the cost
...seven and a half minutes later, the answer is $75k... so when you include land and all the rest of it, so basically nothing right?
This is my problem with tiny homes stuff, it's for rich people
#and as much as I'm pro home ownership since like... my house is pretty much what's made my life feasible#like I know two things for a fact; we don't have room to give every last person a house#(especially if they're basically one bedroom sized things dotting the land)#and not everyone even wants to own a home#but like... lets say that everyone did want to own a place... we can't even do single family stuff let alone infinite tiny homes#so you'd need to have at least some homes in the form of basically owned units in an apartment complex which... sounds like condos#and so... I legit don't even come close to having the answer for this#but the sad thing is... a commie block kind of beats a tiny home if we're honest I think#not even in some like... brutalist dystopian shoving people together kind of way#like I think I'd rather live in a well maintained commie block style apartment than in one of infinite tiny homes doting the land#I really really really like tiny homes as a concept... but every time you look at them you realize... it's all for rich people#and half of them are just gentrified trailers or closet sized apartments getting dressed up by an architect to up the price#like I'm not even trying to shit on this company cause like I'm for assembly line style home production#especially compared to the cheap shit we throw up now; it makes me with I could puke in anger and disgust at it#they showed clips to contrast with of a home being tossed up and the shit materials they use disgust me#seeing massive... whatever you call those new home blights... communities I guess; springing up they always look like they're made of trash#so yeah... I like this building style better than shitty single family homes 'from the low 300s'#but I think that these people are either doing a sales pitch; missing the big picture; or both when they talk about this#like this can't fix the housing crisis cause... one no one can afford shit even if it's... lets say $175k; that's a lot to ask most people#but two is it won't work long term to just dot a million little houses across the land#cause quite apart from finding all that land; think of all the electric grid and water infrastructure you have to lay#(or are these people expected to be able to afford solar and all that? cause... they ain't poor if they're doing that)#(and I'd kind of like poor people to not be screwed by the housing problems we have; the rich can get bent honestly)#I like living on my own in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere; I wouldn't want someone right next to me#so I'm literally the kind of person people bitching about rural folks is bitching about; so know that's not what I'm saying#but let's be honest... we need better and cheaper urban infrastructure and we need less suburbs and housing communities#and that's where the solution is gonna lie; not in reinventing the single family home (or smaller)#eh... I really really really like tiny homes and think they're neat... but I can't help but see they're rich people play things#...and that's my thoughts on this#it's kind of like how solar is nice and all... but just a few good nuclear plants would be a better solution than solar on every roof
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makerofmadness · 2 years
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sometimes i dream of becoming rich and famous but then i get incredibly paranoid about becoming out of touch and everyone i know here hating me and then i stop wanting to think about the future
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