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#so i just kinda have to cope for now
happi-dreams 26 days
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the sillies the goofers the 馃挜馃挜
this is offically a hyperfixation now thank you funny bird for your essay
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starheirxero 8 months
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After revisiting your "came back wrong" comic, absolutely wonderful btw, I came to a rather haunting realization.
Because it became true. But instead of Bloodmoon, it's Eclipse. And that's both much worse(for the characters), and much better(for the narrative).
Because both him and Lunar went through the same, and in a way seem to parallel each other, though that's probably me overthinking.
Both of them died. Both of them were blown to smithereens. Both of them came back after several months. Both found themselves in a body not their own. We've seen what they look like in every other universe.
Both of them came back wrong.
Lunar came back numb, quieter than before, with all their energy being a play. He came back running from unknown danger. They died a normal animatronic, and came back being more.
Eclipse is the opposite. He came back louder, erratic, full of madness. Where Lunar is running from unknown danger, he is sprinting towards it, not realizing the consequences until it's to late. Not to forget the star. Eclipse died being somewhat of a god, and came back as nothing more than a plaything, a puppet on a string.
In a twist of fate, they can relate best to each other now, and that might be the worst part for both of them.
Because what is there to do? Even though they understand, even though, one day, they might glance at each other and wonder "Do you feel the same?", they will never be able to confide in each other. Their relationship is beyond repair, and for good reason. Eclipse hurt Lunar, used and ab*sed him, and then blew him up.
This also opens up so much emotional baggage. What will Lunar think? Will he wonder "Do you regret what you did now, knowing how it felt?" Will a part of him feel the smallest bit of satisfaction? Will they ever be able to look at him at all, or will they forever hide away?
What about Eclipse? Will he feel guilty? He seems aware of the damage he has caused the celestial twins, even telling Ruin that he deserves what's coming for him, but he still showed no remorse when he talked to them.
I'm sorry this got so long, I am incredibly emotional about this right now, and I can't even begin to describe, how this makes me feel-
ANON OH MY GHOD /POS
DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THE BIGGEST FUCJING BRAIN EVER. DID YOU KNOW YOU'VE CONNECTED THE MOST PERFECT DOTS KNOWN TO MAN. HOLY SHIT.
LUNAR CAME BACK AS MORE AND ECLIPSE CAME BACK AS LESS BUT BOTH CAME BACK WRONG AAIAUAUAYAGAGGGHHHHHH
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thwispsings 5 months
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the idea came to me in a migraine induced dream but now im obsessed with the concept of a mu qingfang who knew the abuse bunhe was going through at the hands of og!shen qingqiu/shen jiu and did his best to treat the kid whenever he could (and bring his concerns to zhangmen shixiong, which were obviously very much ignored) and his constant worry over the situation means that when the qi deviation happens he is suspicious of shen qingqiu鈥檚 changes for all different reasons and very much protective of luo binghe -who is a sweet child and an earnest disciple who seems to always find the most incredible medicinal herbs to bring to his mu shishu as thanks for the care bestowed upon him- which means that when the whole shen qingqiu dying thing happens instead of bad mouthing luo binghe or fighting him at every chance he does his best to come over and keep an eye on things to try and help him and make sure luo binghe won鈥檛 kill himself trying to bring shen qingqiu back because he remembers that earnest kid and he鈥檚 witnessed luo binghe鈥檚 devotion to this shen qingqiu first hand and knows there is no way that the kid who cried when ning yingying found a bird with a broken wing and begged mu qingfang to fix it and the kid that would always borrow medical texts and try to find new herb combinations as if it was a game between him and qian cao disciples is actually doing anything nefarious to shen qingqiu鈥檚 corpse.
anyways in this essay i will-
#listen#binghe needs to have more people in his corner#and for some reason i have imprinted on mqf#so you get cool healer uncle#who probably smoked weed with binghe and made him promise to keep quiet#lbh and mqf bonding activity was teaching lbh to properly roll joints#anyways mqf understanding that the rituals are intricate and lqg doesn鈥檛 have any other way of coping with his grief#but the first time lqg injures lbh almost to death in a fight they get into a screaming match so violent#that no bai zhan discipline will look at him in the face without going pale for the next month#that is his nephew! who found several thought-to-be-extinct herbs for him!#also him telling sqq that lbh might have forgotten what he did but mqf certainly didn鈥檛#a healer never forgets the wounds they heal#and sqq is just like yeah brother me neither :(#mqf is going to therapy these idiots so fucking hard#lbh also keeps trying to matchmake him with some nice demons in his court like shamelessly trying to poach his mu shishu#also he and shang qinghua are the only ones who still get the full shishu treatment#except lbh kinda bullies sqh a little for the virtue of the whole mbj situation#(hes never gonna let them live that down)#anyways it鈥檚 whatever at first but at one poont years in the future it does become a point of contempt with the other peak lords#nothing can take away from me that when bored they will squabble like children#such is the way of bored adults#i have rambled enough so normal tags now#svsss#svsss writing#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#mu qingfang#bingqiu#svsss au
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dogboner 5 months
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personal growth is crazy because it seems like nothing has changed until you're crying because you don't want to die. you learn something about yourself that ten years ago would have actually killed you, and now you're thinking about what you can do to heal and make peace with it. nothing may have changed to you, but to the person you were however long ago, you are the "it gets better"
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rafyki 7 months
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You know, I wrote some very very good Percico fics back in the day, and I kinda want to translate them to English and post them on AO3
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nulltune 11 months
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old edits _(:3銆嶁垹)_ but i like imagining hakuno in different hairstyles HNGGHH 馃槱馃槱鉂わ笍馃挆馃挀馃挒 would she ever style her hair tho? sadly no </3 she thinks she's too plain for that + doesn't care about her appearance outside of just enough to look neat and presentable (we do see her hair in low twintails if she needs em tied up tho! tis a very cute look 馃)
bUT LIKE- if someone wants to play with her hair or style her up then 馃憖 hakuno vc i don't mind. (<- girl who tends to go along with what others' want because she has no desires of her own tbh-) (METHINKS IT HAS DA POTENTIAL TO BE SO WHOLESOME THOOO and her hair's long and silky yknow 鉁笍 it'd b nice 2 touch ! 馃槍鉁笍) or alternatively- let hakuno do your muse's hair! 鉁笍 (she brushed nero's hair in last encore and it was such a soft moment it must've been so nice 馃ズ鉂わ笍)
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should i sleep for a hundred million years or purposefully stop sleeping just to see what happens
#i have slept 2 hours and haven鈥檛 been able to fall asleep again for like 3 hours and i was really tired and mad abt it but now i am not#tired and not mad abt it so maybe the path i should be taking is to stop sleeping. sleeping a lot gives me little energy and i鈥檝e been#having trouble sleeping anyway so maybe i should use this to my advantage and run my little sleep deprivation experiment that i was#originally planning to do a couple years back but then got sooo eepy sleepy that i didn鈥檛 really get far. but maybe that鈥檚 bc i wanted to#go 72 hours straight w/o sleep so i could record my response to it. i should be more subtle i think. maybe only a few hours a night#and more 30 hour waking periods. do not listen to a single thing i say ever i鈥檓 an unreliable narrator btw. i think i could trigger smth#fun to happen i:m a good age for sleep deprivation to do something fun and interesting to me and i want to play god#but i鈥檇 get kinda sad being awake all the time bc sleeping is like my number one coping mechanism. then again the pain of losing#that on top of the physical and mental consequences of sleep deprivation would be like so cool. it would pain me so much#but i find that compelling. do not listen to a single word i say i will realize this is dumb later but rn i do kinda want to think abt#running my little experiments and trying to ruin myself further. i鈥檓 such a good thing to think abt experimenting on bc i鈥檓 so affected#by things i just wish i had more force of will Does anyone want to kidnap me and keep me awake for 72 hours (i鈥檓 thinking electrocution#will be involved) and keep notes i fear i鈥檇 give up and i wouldn鈥檛 keep good enough track of things which would be so sad#obvi it would be unethical but i鈥檓 cool w that. i would also want it all on camera for review purposes. hmm i鈥檓 digging this idea. 72 hours#is not very long and i doubt there would be lasting consequences so it seems like a good idea. however i鈥檇 want to do this when i have#things to keep me busy and restricted access to places to sleep. okay i must think on this further pay no mind to what i say unless u have#suggestions like how to keep yourself from giving in bc i always have difficulty w that one
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hella1975 1 year
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me: yeah i didn't project too badly onto taob haha *sees a quote from taob randomly on a tiktok webweave about girlhood*
#HELLO?????? yeah zuko they girlhooded you. yeah no they transed your gender#idk if this makes sense but ur coping mechanisms are just sooo she/her#like do you have any idea how baffling this was like no tags no search no nothing it was just there by sheer luck#i saw it was a webweave about girlhood and i was like ohoughhee this will be good#got a few slides in. hello i recognise thAT FUCKING QUOTE WHAT IS HAPPENING#like it's such a niche quote and out of context like it was it could have been from ANYTHING#AND it wasn't credited which i'll get to in a second#but honestly i felt like a mother identifying her child through something incredibly niche like a single freckle or some shit#bc i was like 'this is such a nondescript quote and isnt a big enough moment for me to remember vividly and yet somehow i Just Know'#and low and behold i double checked with a cheeky ctrl+f on taob AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT#WHAT THE FUCK#im a tad fuming there was no credit like the person used like 12 images and only 3 of them are Non-Tumblr Writing Quotes#and NONE got credited#like i get it's hard enough to get art credited but i feel with artists there's still a general conensus that you're SUPPOSED to tag them#but with writing people honestly just treat it like it's free real estate and the thing is it kinda IS especially if it's fanfic#but also..... why would you not just say who wrote that? like you clearly like it enough to put in ur little slideshow#so why not give credit where credit is due. annoying. bc now im like if this happened by pure fucking chance#then how many times has this happened when ive literally been totally unaware of it?#how many times have MY WORDS just been flung about tiktok without any acknowledgement that i wrote them?#idkkkk just how writing especially amongst tiktokers is treated as a lesser or watered down artform#that doesn't require the decency given to 'actual' art. i might just be being cynical bc i dont like tiktok tho lol#like girl (taob) what the hell are you doing at the devil's sacrament#taob
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rabble-dabble 1 year
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A Karkat who isn't out to his friends about his blood color yet has to go to John to get patched up because all humans bleed red and thus John wouldn't think it's weird that he does too.
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question but is it homoerotic to patch up your fellow friendleader so tenderly when he trusts no one else to and also linger your touch but only slightly subtly so as not to alert him to your pining gaze?
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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum 11 months
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..
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zieatsramen 1 month
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FINALLY GOT MY HANDS ON THOSE DANG CDS
OHOHOHOHOOHOHOHOOOHOHO IT'S AO OVER FOR Y'ALL
You have no idea how long I've tried to get my hands on these guys
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I was just listening to a song I used to love while we were friends. I listened to it so often, we talked so often, it became the background music to our relationship.
I'm listening to it while I knit. I often forget that I started knitting because of you. I remembered tonight. It's strange, I never knitted anything for you. I've knitted for other loved ones, rarely for myself, but never for you. I remembered you showing me the amazing things you made, and I wished I could get to that level of skill. But at that time, you had to explain to me how to purl because I couldn't get it.
Everything reminds me of you in a terrible way. Everything I do is an echo of you. I started painting so that I could paint for you. I started knitting to bond with you. I hear your voice in the music I listen to. You're haunting the things that I love. Will I ever make a brush stroke or stitch without you on my mind?
#i should be able to block all music i listened to on Spotify from 2018-2020. i was not doing well and i dont need the reminders pls#im fine this was just kinda reflective#so much of what i do was inspired by her. i havent spoken to her in three years. we havent been friends for five#but my first painting was a gift to her. i started knitting because she knitted. i got so much music from her#we bonded heavily over music. and i used it to cope after she left. so unfortunately shes mixed into so much of it#she got me into dnd which got me into a different ttrpg im playing now (unknown armies)#shes a big reason i applied to the summer camp i worked at for six years#and a big reason i took the position i had the last two years. and the reason i told our camp legend (long story)#she was in my christmas in july gift i gave and received this year#i dont think ill ever be able to forget her. on good nights thats a good thing. its reassuring. she'll always be with me#but on bad nights. i feel like im never going to stop missing her#i was knitting tonight while listening to music. as the post suggests. and i was just overcome with her#this is the bed i was in when she called and left me. this is the bedroom we used to video call to practice sign language in#oh theres another one. i was going to be an asl interpreter. years ago in another life. i always practiced with her#we're both autistic and asl is easier than speaking a lot of the time#fuck. it reminds me of the ship of theseus. its 2:30am so i wont be able to explain well but#no actually i tried and i cannot explain. youll just have to understand. some days i wish i ciuld replace all the parts that were her#and sometimes im so afraid to lose the parts that were her because thatll feel like losing her#if i ever consciously decided to stop knitting (which i may have to do soon) it will feel like im replacing a board that was hers#how many of my boards are hers? are any of hers mine anymore? how many of hers can i lose before shes gone?#that last one was asked with fear and hope. and fear. depending on the day#god im tired. goodnight
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piningpercussionist 18 days
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I saw from a post about how many asks you have and I was wondering why not just answer one ask then use that as your daily post? (I'm pretty sure you post daily from my memory)
I'm not a writer so apologies if I sound a bit rude or oblivious. But I think you don't do that because it might get tiring to write an in-character response each day.
I'm actually an Insane Person and ideally would be posting hourly/bi-hourly, if only I ever found enough content to queue up in such a manner,,
But, basically the delays can be summed up in three parts: tired or busy (lumping these together as one problem), no idea how to respond just yet (or respond in a way that satisfies me,) or I have ideas but they're art based and take more time.
I do have some wips for some art answers saved I think, but I've got, like, a single commission remaining on my docket and I refuse to let myself do other art until it's finished (barring one sketch I did for the sake of my sanity.... I cannot stress enough how much of a fight it is to get myself to do full shading and backgrounds 馃拃 mistakes were made.)
Now, admittedly, it's been a minute since I took a crack at writing out some more thoughtful or lengthy responses for some of the asks I've gotten- so far as I recall, at least- but the dissatisfaction problem is Extremely Real. No joke, I've had an ask sitting in my queue for several months now because I was like "yeah this is good enough," queued it, and then just before it could post I was overcome with an Intense distaste for it. I really liked the question and thought I could do better. (And still clearly have not done better....) Writing Kim honestly comes really naturally to me, and I could never really get tired of it, but sometimes an ask throws a curveball at me in a way that I just really cannot quite wrap my head around responding to. Other times, I get asks that I just can't let myself answer in a subpar manner- either the ask itself or the implications of the answer I concoct end up mattering too much to me, so I get super in my head about finalizing the reply.
And then me being tired is just a skill issue. (I'm joking; this only applies to like the last month or so, but I actually started taking some new medications recently that have been messing with me just a little in this respect. Sometimes I get tired, and when they DO give me the pep to do things, I've admittedly been trying to direct that energy into getting my life together lol)
#i really have just kinda been busy lately. doctors appointments- my roommate moving out- SO. MANY. BIRTHDAYS-#so that's also a factor in things. im kinda floundering over here... drowning in an endless sea of shit I need to do to get my affairs in +#+order...#also i am like. an adult. so i have a life that HAS to be tended to in some respects. just kinda tacking that on bc ik some people forget +#+I'm 24. I'm not busy in the way most people my age are but I DO have things I need to do/be doing. (which unfortunately may eventually +#+lead to me being busy in the same way most people my age are. life's a bitch like that. hopefully it wont be an issue though]#i literally overthink everything and it is a Problem. look at how much rambling you're getting just here. insane#i need to go to bed i think im forcing myself to let this be the answer i have for you 馃拃 if you have further questions i can answer later#asks#anon#ooc#txt#actually just one more little thing. the kim rp/ask blog aspect of this blog was also very much an outlet for me as i was dealing with +#+some really frustrating things in my personal life. I'm still dealing with those things but on a smaller scale now? and I'm also no +#+longer locked into this being my ONLY coping method for it. lately I've been getting back into playing whatever games i feel like- it's +#+been very freeing. in a single session I've apparently gotten 12% of the way through rdr2's story! something i very much wouldn't have +#+felt like I was ALLOWED to do prior to now#(also if this post contains any contradictions. i am a very conflicted and contradictory person. hope that helps 馃憤)
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casualhedonists 8 months
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DATING IS SO HARD WTF
#vent to follow in the tags lmao#like. what????#people!!! chill the fuck out!!#i had some dude unmatch with me bc i didn鈥檛 respond to him YESTERDAY#and like it鈥檚 not that big of a deal we鈥檇 only just matched but like?? patience is a fucking virtue?? and i have a life?#he was all like come back :((( then two minutes later he was like ok sorry for bothering you bye and then LEFT#like. fine if you do that but the message?? what??#anyway it came at a bad time bc. a bitch is already in crisis rn#cause i kinda feel like my irl friends hate me for some reason and i already feel bad that i鈥檝e been so busy i鈥檝e not been able to#talk to them that much#and i was supposed to go on a trip with my friend but that鈥檚 been postponed (not her fault or mine)#and my car still won鈥檛 start. we tried to jump it today and it didn鈥檛 do anything#anyway i鈥檓 like rapid cycling through major emotions and it鈥檚 like mimi chill the fuck out#and listening to way too much phoebe bridgers i know the end#also i鈥檓 in crisis bc i鈥檝e made up with like. my oldest friend who used to have a crush on me and when i told him i preferred girls he like#stopped talking to me for a while#that was years ago and now we鈥檙e slowly becoming friends again but i feel so much guilt over it for no reason#and i get into avoidant episodes as a coping mechanism and like. i feel like im going into one atp#okay okay vent over im okay lmaoo#sorry folks hope your days going better than mine <3#锝★渐:*藲:鉁э健 mimi speaks!
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plsleafmelon 8 months
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kay seems like all the 5th (or is it 4.5... idr anymore hais) anniv stuff on cn is out and zuo les kit looks sick as hell (or smth id use at least) man will have a very pretty place in my roster. shu on the other hand... man suiknights is expensive bro dont do this to me
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lynxgirlpaws 8 months
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My dad will just drop some shit on me like "Yeah you know how I'd let you get non-diet soda as a kid? It's bc I wanted you to get super hyper before I dropped you back off with your mom so she'd have to deal with it :)" and expect me to laugh along like that isn't super fucked up and evil like what the actual fuck is his problem
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