#so i think he just supervises some experiments and partakes when needed

[gootube]

feel like slutch i might color this later but heres wot i have so far for a sephirot au eva dkdjdjdjdj. he’s the control team head so the fact that it mskes him blonde . mind breaking i dont like bleva (blonde eva)

his box form is so square

[hyperfixated-on-cod]

✨Smoking with 141, König, Los Vaqueros✨ (CW: cannabis use, 18+)

(This was supposed to be posted like 3 days ago lol but either way…) (the 18+ warning is for a very brief reason but it’s still there)

I got absolutely fucking ASTRONOMICALLY high last night sooo here’s some headcanons😍

John Price

Smoked a little bit here and there when he first enlisted, but eventually quit when he realized he was serious about his career in the military. (I personally don’t think he planned from the start to climb the ranks like he did)

It will take a LOTTT of convincing to get him to smoke with you, and if he agrees, it’s reasonable to assume you’re very special to him.

Goes into it acting like a career stoner… but in reality he hasn’t touched the stuff in about 15 years🙃

If you can’t get him to partake, he absolutely will hang with you while you’re high. All you gotta do is ask.

Prefers edibles simply because “I like having lungs.” Even though the man LITERALLY SMOKES CIGARS😭

Ghost

I don’t think he’s a stoner but like… I also think he does have an edible from time to time, for medical reasons (mostly mental health).

Not many people know this about him; Price knows and helps him plan accordingly for drug tests and makes sure that it’s noted in his file that he uses it for medical reasons; Soap found out on accident.

Under no circumstances does he ever let anybody see him high, so good luck getting him to smoke with you lol

Only gets high when he knows he’s in the clear with work and will be for awhile (so, when he’s on leave). If he feels like he needs to get high (like if he’s just coming back from a particularly hard mission), he goes to Price and asks if it’s okay.

Prefers edibles because he finds it more relaxing and it’s easier for him to take one, and then he gets an hour or so to do other stuff before it hits.

Soap

This man is a stoner. Period point blank.

If he isn’t the first of these men you ask to smoke with you, and he finds out about it, he will be SO offended.

Gets high just to get high. Everything else is a bonus.

Started when he was young, like 16. Quit for awhile as his career was getting more serious, and then he started again.

The whole team knows but nobody really cares because he’s super responsible about it like Ghost is. He plans far ahead of time, doesn’t do it unless he’s off base, etc.

This man is such a giggly bitch and his laugh is so infectious; he’s the first to start laughing and everybody else follows.

Very flirty when he’s high and texts Ghost messages that are just like “🩷🩷💕💕💘💘”

He is so ridiculously horny when he’s high. Been tryna convince Ghost for agessss to get high with him so they can 👉🏽👌🏽

Gaz

Honestly? I don’t think he’s into weed all that much.. or really any substance. He drinks here and there and is never opposed to having a glass of whiskey with Price, but that’s really it.

He has done it tho, and didn’t have a good experience. I feel like he’s a very logical person, so after his first time he probs figured the first time sucked bc it was the first time. So he did it a few more times but nothing changed.

On the off chance he agrees to smoke with you, he wants “adult supervision” (Captain Price lol) just in case he has another bad time.

Makes sure the environment will be 100% controlled. Comfort of his own home, lays out rules and boundaries with you and the Captain (“don’t let me do too much,” “here’s what to do if…”), soft music playing, pillows and blankets everywhere.

König

Again, you’re lucky if you get him to do it with you.

His giggles are somehow worse than Soap’s and significantly more adorable😂

His munchies are SOOO bad. Like, he may plan ahead of time and lay out some snacks to prepare… but he ends up not wanting any of them and stumbles to his kitchen for something else.

He’s a big guy so it takes a bit to get him going, but once he’s there he’s there.

Alejandro

Doesn’t partake. Never has and probably never will. He’s been curious, but just never felt the need to act on that curiosity.

He’s cool about people close to him doing it tho, and will also hang with you while you’re high. Provides some of the BEST snacks.

Rudy

He does do it but he’s… pretentious about it. In a good way.

Oh, you’re bringing him gummies from the dispensary? No. He’s making homemade edibles but not like brownies or cookies; he’s making pasta with infused olive oil or some other type of meal.

He’s super careful about his measurements and makes sure that the product he’s using is as high quality as he can get it.

If you wanna get high with him, go into it on an empty stomach bc he’s gonna make sure y’all eat a damn good meal in the process.

[funtimebunnyblog]

Sureynot is back at it again with some fun requests 😂🤩🥰 Please enjoy!

The Pillarmen with an s/o who's an adrenaline junkie...

(Under the cut for length...)

Kars:

• Kars seriously disapproves of this hobby of yours.

• Mostly because when he met you he was under the impression that you were smarter than to even attempt half of the things you do for "fun".

• Once he found out that your idea of a good time was riding a bike down a rocky mountain at full speed or dangling from the edge of a cliff from a rope like a spider, he was sure you were crazy.

• Perhaps Humans really have regressed after all...

• Just because he could vault himself off a cliff without a care in the world or thought of bodily harm doesn't mean that you, a fragile little Human, should as well.

• If you insist that you're fine because of all the precautions you take when going out to do something risky, it does little to ease him.

• Initially, he tries to forbid you from going out and doing such dangerous things but you offered for him to come along anytime and supervise; which he ended up accepting.

• He'll admit that he feels a little better when he's at least with you just in case anything happens.

• "Isn't this great?" You laugh, peering back to glance at your mate (whom you were strapped to) as you dangled from the base of the cliff by your abs. "Just look at that view!"

• Kars couldn't be bothered to even try to enjoy the sunset scene far, far below when he was laying parallel in the air like this.

• If you wanted to watch the sunset, why not just stand upright ON the cliff?

• "When do we get to the fun part?" He sighed, his underlying bitterness only making you laugh. "This IS the fun part!"

• Should you happen to hurt yourself on any of your solo excursions you can at least always count on him to patch you up when you get Home.

• Showing up with a few scrapes and bruises here and there doesn't bother him very much but if you ever end up breaking a bone, prepare for a scolding of a lifetime.

• He will not let you do anything even close to risky until you are fully healed and from that moment on he makes it clear that he's accompanying you on ALL of your trips and supervising the scene.

• It's kind of funny, in a way he has fallen right into your trap; spending more quality time with you rather than staying cooped up in his office doing work all the time.

Esidisi:

• It takes Esidisi as a surprise when he finds out about your little hobbies.

• He never realized that doing such risky, heart palpatiating stunts was considered enjoyable to some Humans.

• His curiosity piqued, you'll find yourself dragging him along to one of your most favourite activities so he can watch and maybe try his hand at it.

• You've created a monster.

• An adrenaline pumped, 7ft tall, inhuman, older than dirt monster.

• He LOVES this sport. The sights, heights, the high-speed action, the spine tingling, the rushing going to his head; HE LOVES IT.

• It all puts a much hotter fire burning in his blood.

• Soon, he starts dragging YOU along to watch HIM do extremely risky activities and stunts.

• Like watching him bungee jump off the tallest building in the country while chugging 2 energy drinks at the same time as he records the whole thing for YouTube.

• Despite his newfound love for the most extreme of extreme, he's also content to just spend some time doing simpler risky activities like white-water rafting or rock climbing with you.

• If he ever gets injured (no matter how bad) it doesn't bother him in the slightest of course.

• However, if you get seriously hurt on the other hand, it sends all kinds of alarm bells off for him.

• He thinks that maybe he's to blame and that he's been a bad influence on you and your mortality.

• "IT'S MY FAULT!!! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!" Esidisi sobbed loud enough that his voice rang off the Hospital walls. Endless rivulets of hot tears left your shirt absolutely soaked where he clung to you like a limplet in the bed.

• You could only sigh, your gaze peering past the dense curls of the floof of his hair blocking your vision to your propped up leg and the clean white cast that had just been put on it.

• "Esidisi, this is NOT your fault." You told him, hands instinctively going to rub his back as the tears kept coming and coming. "I should've checked the tire on my bike before driving it down that hillside, it was just an accident. It's just a broken leg."

• (*bike crash* Fred voice: MY LEG!!!)

• Thankfully, his tears ebb when you tell him that he can sign your cast.

• He might even offer to take you across the world to sight see and do some more thrilling activities to make up for it when you're all healed if you're up for the adventure.

Wamuu:

• All of this started when Wamuu noticed that you had a bunch of strange gear in storage.

• When he asked you why you needed so many helmets and ropes and knee and elbow pads, you happily indulged him about your adrenaline seeking hobbies and how you liked to jump off cliffs.

• You definitely have some more explaining to do.

• Admittedly it takes Wamuu a good few minutes to wrap his head around it all.

• "So... you do all of these dangerous things... for a thrill?" He questioned, eyebrows knitted together. "To prove yourself?"

• As you nodded, grinning hugely, he realizes that he shares a similar trait by fighting worthy opponents in the arena.

• The most brutal, sweat inducing, heart pounding fights gave him great tenacity and you experienced the very same when climbing somewhere high or going fast.

• He wants to try this with you.

• Next thing he knows he's all geared up with a helmet and a harness and a rope, standing at the bottom of a HUGE Rockwall.

• "First one to the top wins," was all you said before starting to climb as fast as you could with the Warrior right behind you, a fierce gleam in his eye and a fang revealing grin.

• Though keeping mindful of your safety, he likes to challenge you and both of you find yourselves often pushing each other's limits.

• Who could climb the fastest? Row the fastest? Bike the fastest? Set up camp the fastest?

• If you happen to hurt yourself while playing your thrill little games together he's always prepared and will most definitely put a bandage on you when needed.

• Even Wamuu knows that the Hello Kitty ones heal the best.

• If you're ever unfortunate enough to do yourself enough damage to break something, that care shown for you doesn't change.

• In fact, he commends you for being so strong and will praise you even more when you talk about jumping right back into it when you're properly healed again.

• He won't let you go anywhere until that day comes though, no matter how up to the challenge you think you are.

• All in all, your determination and your fiery spirit is what makes him absolutely adore you afterall.

Santana:

• Like many things he faces, Santana is quite indifferent to heart-stopping stunts.

• It was no surprise really, he was an apex lifeform; there was nothing that could do him harm and he had faced many dangerous things in his life alone so there wasn't much that got his heart pounding.

• However his curiosity is piqued when he learns that you deliberately partook in risky activities just for the fun of it all.

• Be prepared for many questions as to what exactly you enjoyed doing and the benefit of doing it for you.

• If you should ask him to accompany you on an activity, he won't say no but he prefers to observe you rather than partake himself.

• He views every outing with you as a learning experience.

• He gets to learn all about the activity, its History and any gear you happen to bring along and then watch the ins and outs of it all first hand as you and maybe a few other Humans do it.

• He finds it interesting that Humans would take such risks when they are already the most fragile and flawed race in existence.

• He wasn't sure whether it was carelessness or maybe just plain not realizing your own mortality.

• If you happen to coax him into actually gearing up and doing an activity with you, don't expect any major reaction on his part when you get there.

• Whether it's skydiving, rock-climbing, white water rafting, poking a sleeping bear with a stick, you name it; you can't quite piece together what's going on in that head of his.

• He just looks almost bored the entirety of the time.

• "YEAHHHHH!!!" You squealed with glee, the air whistling in your ears as wind all around you whipped and whirled, plummeting straight from the sky.

• Santana was dead silent, arms folded and practically glaring at the ground where it sat miles upon miles away below you both.

• The only thing he was looking forward to after the parachute chord was pulled and his feet was on solid ground again was going to grab a bite to eat...

• However, while the activity doesn't, any injuries you happen to sustain from doing them spark a reaction in Santana.

• He doesn't like seeing you hurt, no matter how minor it is.

• That being said, the chances of you getting seriously hurt are very, very low with Santana always on watch while you're off having fun.

• If he has to, he'll throw himself under you and let his body go to rubber to give you a soft landing and prevent you from breaking something.

• All in all, he doesn't really mind your extreme hobbies. You alone give him a thrill by teaching him much new things.

[vvienne]

SANGCHENG FIC RECS

flight of a one-winged dove by bloodletter

Talking at someone is only fun for so long. That's all being a sect leader is: talking and talking to people bound by courtesy to listen to you. It's so fucking dull. A relief, then, to face one’s equal, and no less an old friend who is inclined to interrupt you whenever you ramble. He likes it. It’s one of Jiang Cheng’s best qualities.

In the years after Guanyin Temple, Nie Huaisang attends to unfinished business.

whipped by reindeercolin

Jiang Cheng blinks. “Dammit, they do think you’re dating one of us! I hate it when Wei Wuxian is right.” “Excuse me?” Nie Huaisang gives him an incredulous look. “First of all, they think I’m dating you, and if anything, they’re getting more aggressive!”

(or, the one in which Jiang Cheng has too many relatives, not enough patience, goes through a brother-divorce and finds out he has a boyfriend - in that order, more or less.)

Ponder the Manner of Things by Pip (Moirail)

It's not that Jiang Cheng can't do a quadruple flip followed by a triple toeloop. It's that his mother seems to think that's still not good enough.

Jiang Cheng is grateful that Huaisang doesn’t have the same kind of family life that he does, all - messy with expectations and cravings for closeness and nothing but vague filial piety where love is meant to be.

a matter of time and organ donation by nev_longbottom

This is it. The call he’s been waiting for. His brother had ‘an accident’ or ‘died in his sleep’ or some other lie to cover up the murder.

“Please, Mingjue is missing. He got into one of his moods and he was gone when I came back from grocery shopping. He’s not answering his phone. I don’t know if he left or was kidnapped or if something else happened. Huaisang, please, if you’ve heard anything,” Meng Yao begs.

Nie Huaisang hunts his brother's killer.

no tip necessary by tattletold

With all the nervousness of a virgin in a whorehouse, Jiang Cheng closes the door behind himself and enters, sitting on the low seat across from the escort. The pretty young man keeps his face hidden behind the delicate fan, and Jiang Cheng thinks for a moment that he recognizes the design painted onto it now that he’s closer.

It’s only when he lowers the fan and opens his eyes, wide, does Jiang Cheng paralyze with realization.

They speak at the same time in equally horrified tones.

“Jiang Cheng?”

“Nie Huaisang?”

Your Place in the Family of Things by raisedbyhyenas

No matter what happens, no matter the circumstances, Wei Wuxian will always leave and Jiang Cheng will always get stuck trying to rebuild from whatever’s left.

*************

In which Jiang Cheng makes friends; gets a cat; begins to rebuild a relationship; and maybe, possibly, potentially, learns a little bit how to be happy.

sigh yourself to sleep by merthurlin

“Let me take care of you, A-Cheng.”

No one—no one has ever said that, not to Jiang Cheng. He wasn’t a very sickly child, true, but the few times he remembered being sick it was never—he had a-jie, and later on he had Wei Wuxian, for what it was worth, but he never—

halcyon days by serein

They're in a forest, it seems just the two of them.

"You have to be patient," Nie Huaisang says, "I once waited for three days to catch a sparrow."

"Three days?" Jiang Cheng replies, sceptical. He can't imagine Nie Huaisang having the attention span for that.

"It's not that hard," Nie Huaisang says, "if you know what they want, and find a way to get it for them."

[JC stumbles across an array and gets physically de-aged to be 16/17. NHS kindly offers his help to an old friend, but things... escalate.]

To Distraction by isozyme

It’s the third night of Yunmeng’s kite festival celebrations. Nie Huaisang has come visiting, eager to partake in the food, the arts, and Jiang Cheng.

-

Jiang Cheng wants to forget. Nie Huaisang has some new lube and wants to see if he can put his whole fist in somebody’s ass.

Lights, Camera, Kiss by MissMagus

When Nie Huaisang gets paired with straight porn star Jiang Cheng for a five-part series, he’s sure it will be an utter disaster. Until the cameras start rolling and their chemistry alights like wildfire.

(Or, the five times Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng have sex for their job, and the first time they have sex outside of it.)

Only the Shallow by hamburglar

When Nie Huaisang gets bored and convinces Jiang Cheng to make out with him, he’s probably not expecting to still be dealing with the guy 16 years later.

OR the story where Jiang Cheng goes into: the Cloud Recesses, denial, some bushes, the private porn library at the Unclean Realm, and subspace.

Blind for Love by manamune

Jiang Cheng is poisoned with an aphrodisiac and needs to orgasm repeatedly in order to flush it from his system.

The first person he thinks of going to for help is Nie Huaisang, who does what any good friend would do: he shoves his three decades worth of feelings for Jiang Cheng deep into the recesses of his mind, locks them up so he can pretend they don’t exist, and then fucks him so hard that he passes out.

Descending by lightningwaltz

“I want to… to not be embarrassed.”

“To not be embarrassed during what?”

“During sex.” There. Jiang Cheng can say it. “In general. Also with you right now.”

“Very good.”

“When did you become so authoritative?” Jiang Cheng wants to sound irked, but can’t quite manage anything beyond nervous curiosity.

dark water by Morgan (duckwhatduck)

There are words, somewhere, for this. Words that would put a shape to the thing that sits between them, would seal their understanding. There are words for sympathy, for friendship, for understanding, for that touch, for this feeling.

Jiang Cheng can feel them, somewhere, fluttering formless at the back of his throat, squirming under his ribcage, but he cannot grasp them. They swim beneath the surface, fish in muddy water - and like fish, they will dart away if he grabs for them incautiously, and leave him nothing but cold splashes and grit.

Or: Why talk about things when you could fuck about it instead?

never knew i was a dancer by isozyme

“What’s a stone butch and why aren’t they real?” Jiang Cheng asks, too buzzed to care too much about not being up on lesbian culture.

Huaisang pats Jiang Cheng on the no-man’s-land between her boobs and her shoulder. “You’re so useless, Jiang Cheng. A stone butch is a fictional hottie who doesn’t make you do any work at all, just wants to give head and fuck you stupid on her strap.”

“Fictional?” Jiang Cheng echoes, having - not a moment, per se, but sort of a problem where her thoughts are going too fast for her poor drunken brain to keep up with.

“Nobody actually wants to fuck a chick who’s too lazy to eat you out after,” Huaisang mumbles.

-

After leaving Wei Ying and Lan Zhan’s bachelorette party, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang decide to experiment with some outdated stereotypical lesbian sex roles.

lights out by rynleaf

“Nie-zongzhu makes the most sense,” Sect Leader Yao nods sagely, to murmurs of assent across the Jin Sect’s gold gilded banquet hall. Jin Ling, clad in opulent robes that look somewhat comical on a boy of sixteen, inclines his head as his scribe makes a notation, and the noise rises as sect leaders pat themselves and each other on the back for a decision well made.

Jiang Cheng groans and downs his cup of wine in one go.

-

In which the Sect Leaders elect a new Chief Cultivator.

shadow eternal by rynleaf

“You want me to distract the Chief Cultivator from the Annual Cultivation Conference, so you and other sect leaders can… what. Sign contracts without adult supervision?”

“If Jiang-zongzhu is amenable,” Sect Leader Ouyang repeats with a nod.

Jiang Cheng pinches the bridge of his nose. The pressure he felt building behind his eyes all morning is swiftly coalescing into a bitch of a headache. “Just what do you all think I’m capable of?”

Sect Leader Ouyang bows with a cheerful smile. “We have utmost faith in Sandu Shengshou’s abilities.”

-

In which a night hunt ends in disaster, Jiang Cheng catches a glimpse of Nie Huaisang's heart, and feelings are discussed after a certain fashion.

Four Days in Lanling by halotolerant

Nie Huaisang looks at him. ‘You are confusing me, Clan Leader Jiang, perhaps I misunderstand, but…’

‘You didn’t misunderstand. You don’t misunderstand. You understand all of it.’ For six months Jiang Cheng has been mulling this over, and now with Nie Huaisang in front of him he can’t figure out if he most wants to knock him down or kneel at his feet. What he does is try and breathe. Clench his hands at his sides. ‘And now I am going to ask you to do something for me. You have to do something for me. You have to help Jin Ling.’

Lean for Love Forever by Pip (Moirail)

Having a crush on your roommate is really embarrassing, except that's apparently the opposite of a problem. Jiang Cheng can't deny that's pretty convenient.

Wei Ying holds it up, a series of straps and buckles and velcro and wow, really a lot of leather. It has absolutely no conceivable form beyond tangled.

Nie Huaisang opens the door at exactly the moment that Wei Ying holds the thing up to Jiang Cheng’s chest, as if he’s trying to imagine how exactly it would fit onto a person, and it falls into a tangled pile between them while they stare at Huaisang in mild mortification.

acquired momentum by mongrelmind

Had Madam Yu known that this is where her son would end up, she would have gouged his eyes out with her bracelet before he made the grave mistake of looking in the direction of Nie Huaisang.

-

in which Nie Huaisang has an art show, Jiang Cheng is begrudgingly topless*, and there are. Shenanigans.

*Nie Huaisang excluded.

[sdv-mostly-shane]

Hello! January is birthday month for my children, and now that we got the last one down, time to get right back in ~ In the spirit of parenthood, here’s some Stardew Parent Headcannons of all the marriage candidates -

Stardew Valley Imagines : Parent Headcannons

Bachelors

Alex

The kind of dad to be at every appointment/interview/inspection and cry at every point of progress “we’re one step closer to our beautiful baby”

Will absolutely cry once he holds that baby, and will have a hard time letting them go to his partner

Baby wearing extraordinaire- has multiple options for different occasions

Matching track suits to hide the fact that they were both a hot mess that morning trying to get out the door, but they did it, so time to celebrate

Would ironically have a brainiac child that he is absolutely enamoured with and admires - he sits at their little table, spilling out of the tiny chair, but refuses to budge because his baby is telling him about the water cycle of the Earth, and he doesn’t want to miss a thing

Elliot

A very ‘hands off’ parent - will observe them at play and not pressure them in any particular way

Probably a Waldorf dad

Sits his babies in his lap every night to read- they are the first ones he tests out a new limerick on, and respects their criticisms as much as their praise

Lots of evening walks down the sea shore and the forest edge.

Out of the bachelors, I think would be the most sensitive/attune to them, and would be great at breaking down their complex emotions and thoughts, and would especially be so with any neurodivergent children.

Harvey

The type to plop down a stack of parenting and pediatric books on the dining room table as soon as you two have decided to welcome children into your lives

Is the one to show the farmer how to change a diaper

In fact, just count Harvey as the one to be the party planning, baby book filling, milestone documenting professional. He’s got it covered.

Loves the newborn stage, is terrified of toddlerhood, but then back in control once they’re like 6. And then terrified again once they are teenagers (his kids actually consider him a friend as well as a father and actually enjoy hanging out with him (sometimes))

100% a helicopter parent, but more so the ‘I love you so much I don’t want you to ever experience any pain’ type of way

Sam

Probably has an accidental love child at one point

You can find him in bed with the baby, singing songs together, while he spikes the baby’s hair nice and tall

Do you honestly think this young man would not use every dad joke ever known? Because he would- and he would find them all absolutely hilarious

The fun dad that will also actively try to embarrass his kids in front of their friends

Keeps his kids home for “sick days” to sit on the couch together, no pants, no homework, and all laughter.

Sebastian

Would be stressed when they are newborns, but relax as they get older. By the time they’re teens, he would have cultivated a very trust and respect-based relationship with them where his kids are comfortable telling him anything

You’ll find him quietly at every event, game, recital, competition, imaginable. Supporting his children with his presence and then taking them out that evening to do something fun, crazy, or maybe even a little dangerous

His most fond parenting moments are when the baby is in their bouncer right besides him, happily babbling away and smiling at him, while he does his work at the computer. Quality time is his baby love language.

The type of dad to patiently and honestly answer his children’s millions of questions about anything and everything.

Will absolutely take them out to splash in the puddles when it rains (but then will also send them straight to the bath)

Shane

Is already pretty experienced in the parenting realm, but is thrown into a whole new adventure with the newborn phase. Finds himself to truly LOVE babies and toddlers

“Hm, can’t sleep? Let’s go get a snack.” “But dad, it’s 1AM” “I do this all the time, don’t worry. Just don’t tell [parent]”

Would let his kids roam free, but only if he is supervising, and is actually kinda strict/short. Absolutely fears losing his children and will do anything and everything to make sure they grow up safe and cared for.

A very stressed daddy but only because he loves his children so much that he would die if anything happened to them

The best cuddler out of all the bachelor parents. Wanna soft spot to curl up on the couch? He’s already passed out with his head back, snoring. His nice pudgy ‘dad’ belly makes the perfect pillow to rest baby heads on while he reads a book.

Bachelorettes

Abigail

The fun parent.

The kind that wakes up early on a Saturday with their kids, just as excited as they are, to eat sugar cereal and watch a show together.

Is always down to play (especially play fight). Will (endearingly) spook their partner a bit when they rough house because Abby has that wild feral look in her eye too often

The competitive parent that gets just a liiiitle too involved in whatever sport/organization/fair/et.al that the child is partaking in-all in good fun, of course.

I can picture her taking her child out to the forest, late at night, to lay on the soft moss. She’d tell them about monsters, lore, crystals, and everything supernatural and mystic. Whispering in the dark as they point up to the stars and laugh and laugh and laugh

Emily

Hippy granola mom to a T - have you seen her “organic quinoa and fresh goat milk” quote? She’d do anything to provide the best that nature has to offer her children

While her disposition toward her children is incredibly loving and free-spirited, she would probably be very resposible and stressed about doing right for her children

Would absolutely take her children by the hand, in various states of dress (jammies? Okay. Just a diaper? Alright. Ballgown? Let’s go), out to the forest with handmade woven baskets to collect all the gifts from the Earth that they can find

Absolutely the Craft Mom - she’d be all about enrichment, sensory play, and fostering a creative spirit

Tells the best stories. After bedtime routine, will sit with her children in thrir bed, and will tell stories of magic, of love, and of adventure. Her kids, eyes bright, won’t want the night to end, because mom is showing us how much wonder and mystery is in the world

Haley

So gentle and so sweet with her kids, but can send them running with just a ‘look’

Would be a nervous wreck the first go round, but an absolute master by the time the second comes around

Helicopter parent that obsesses over every milestone, growth, and accomplishment of their child. SO proud of them and can’t wait to praise them and brag about them.

The wonder parent that can do it all while looking absolutely breathtaking. She makes it look easy once she gets the hang of it

Can’t you just picture her and her baby girl in matching flowy Daisy sundresses dresses with pink ribbons in their beautiful blonde curls, chasing after each other barefoot in the fields, while the golden grass dances in the wind- gah I love this pretty pretty princess so much.

Leah

Cool Wine mom that drives a Subaru

Would absolutely read her child to bed every night, until they fell asleep.

Her transition into motherhood was flawless. She’s a natural parent who just loves in abundance

Soooo many nature walks, hikes, and camping trips. Always accompanied with a picnic basket, quiet peacefulness, and heart to hearts about whatever is going on in their life.

The definition of free-range parenting, encouraging self discovery and independence. Yeah, she’ll always step in when needed with some kind encouragement or advice, but would much rather watch her children learn about the world on their own terms

Maru

The do-it-all parent. Signs up for activities, projects, school boards, committees, and teams. Is actually on time, prepared, and succeeds in all of these.

The most prepared and responsible out of any of the parents. Always has snacks in her diaper bag and a first aid kit

Did someone say routine/chore chart

Would show love for her children through learning and new experiences-the best part about being a parent for her is watching her child’s brain turning and working as they think about the environment in front of them. At her best, her kids think she is incredibly fun and they have a blast doing anything and everything with her

Not exactly tender/overly affectionate with her kids, but absolutely concerned about being the best mom she can be by having balance of learning, play, discipline, and love.

Penny

Literally just Miss Honey from Matilda

Pinterest mom. All the crafts, DIYs, bento boxes with cute little caterpillar grapes-you name it, she’s already done it AND packed your backpack and laid your clothes out for you.

Can be heard saying “well the pediatrician said...” “hm well that’s not what dr alberts book said to do” among other “first time mom”things

Can be incredibly anxious worrying about their child’s development and well being. She’s been around kids her entire life, but this is HER child? This one doesn’t go home at the end of the day? Everything has to be absolutely perfect

The most sentimental-would absolutely weep going through the baby box to pull out the teeny tiny booties and smelling the baby blanket - “they were just SO TINY- we need another one NOW.”

[lepusrufus]

So I'm not really sure if this has been asked yet but how does the actual plot of RE8 fit into your AU? Is it something you have plans for, like Miranda never kidnaps Rose, sommit like that or nah? Either way I still bloody love all your stuff!

That's a great question and it actually got me thinking on this.

For starters, the events in Double edged scalpel take place quite a bit before the events of the game, around 2010 or so, even earlier. Dani and Anita's "story" happen in a similar timeframe while Laura comes along a couple years later. (I'm not sure if I'll be writing full on fics for them but I will write oneshots and such to expand on their characters/relationships)

Now for the actual game events, the tldr is Miranda isn't an idiot playing stupid games.

In my AU, she has no intention of messing around. She kidnaps Mia, gets in the house (as Mia), waits for a moment when Ethan is distracted and takes Rose. Before anyone manages to catch on or anything. She then takes Rose with her and just keeps her under her careful watch until the time for the ceremony comes. No splitting her up, none of that redundant stuff.

Ethan manages to find his way into the village, but again Miranda is not being a fool and wants him captured and in a damn cell asap to be experimented on later. No Heisenberg's lil death obstacle course, none of that. Ethan just goes to the castle and does some damage thinking Rose is there. The gals, knowing when to pick their battles just tell him that he's wasting his goddamn time and to leave their home so they have time to regroup (nobody dies tho).

Then he makes his way to the Beneviento house and, since Donna deserves to go full fucked up villain, she captures him. She has the power to psychologically destroy someone and that's exactly what she does, rendering him pretty much brain dead, his mouldy body to be studied later.

Also should add in the fact that the cult has a less... "Miranda is purely using us and will get us killed with the first occasion" dynamic. She does want them around and alive. She basically wants to create her own mini empire (for lack of a better word) for her to rule over and the Lords are all part of that. And therefore, Heisenberg for example, is a lot less inclined to betray and kill her. Also also Miranda doesn't just.. straight up has everyone killed. Dunno I feel like it's at least a bit counterproductive killing all your worshippers instead of collecting people from the outside to work as biomass.

Now with Ethan out of the way, back to Miranda, Rose and Mia. Miranda doesn't actually want to use Rose herself as a vessel, but use a tissue sample to make a copy that then can serve as a vessel. It's not out of the goodness of her heart mind you, it's more of a guarantee the if anything goes wrong with the process, the "original" is still there to get more samples from. Mia doesn't want that but she doesn't exactly have a say in this. It does work though and Miranda gets her Eva back yay for her ig. Mia also gets Rose back and Miranda, in an odd act of kindness, promises that if they ever need anything, Mia knows where to find her.

Now, where things get a lil' weird. Should preface this by saying that I'm basing this detail of the AU on my favorite book, Annihilation (from the Southern Reach trilogy). The gist of it is: aliens create an anomalous area enclosed in something akin to a force field where everything alive gets modified on a biological level by the alien organism and it interferes with any technology within.

Now obviously, no aliens here. But we have the Megamycete at the center of it all and Miranda controlling the whole area in which the village (more akin to a small town in my AU) and its surroundings are enclosed. This is how she controls exactly what comes in from outside and what works inside.

And therefore, Chris can't do jack shit. He can't even enter the area let alone blow anything up. Ok moving on.

As stated before, Miranda's offer to Mia still stands, even as she gives her a bitter "fuck you" as she leaves the village with Rose in her arms. However it takes her little to realize that no matter where they go, Rose is basically gonna become a lab rat under supervision 24/7 so she swallows her pride and comes back to Miranda, asking her to let them stay in the village where nobody from te outside can touch them. She obliges, letting her choose any place she'd like to live in and that's how Mia and Rose settle there. (Also the town is a lot more functional here).

Aaand idk maybe Rose and Eva grow up to be friends or something idk I think that'd be cute. They have a whole ass cultish "family" too so that'd make for some interesting shenanigans.

Also, realizing you may want to know more about the maidens: they do partake in anything ceremony related as much as the sisters, complete with matching outfits. By this point in time they are also married and fully part of the Dimitrescu family. Also had gone through the mutation but no spoilers on that. Just going to say that Miranda comes to see them as at the very least good assets to keep around and therefore somewhat important members of the cult.

[charmingcentry]

GSA

Entry for Day 4 - High School

Summary: Beca has had a big crush on Chloe Beale ever since freshman year and thinks she has no chance at all with her. That is until Fat Amy and Jesse swoop in to save the day.

AO3

-

There are officially 179 school days left until Beca is out of this shithole.

Don’t be fooled by the brunette’s high marks in classes or how she frequently participates in school events, Beca Mitchell can’t tolerate dozens of people on this campus. The awful stereotypes and insignificant drama is what ruined the whole “high school experience.” Not that she expected much when entering in as a freshman, but ever since then, she dreads her school. The maintained 4.2 GPA and involvement within the school community is only kept because unlike many people at her school, Beca actually wants to attend college.

She doesn’t talk to people much other than her best friends Fat Amy and Jesse Swanson, both from completely separate friend groups. Fat Amy, is apart of what is considered the “popular” group and Jesse is categorized into “geeks and nerds,” it was luck that pushed Beca towards the two drastically different people.

Beca preferred to seclude herself from friend groups, usually sitting on the field and listening to her music which apparently deems you as a “loner freak,” just another example of why the brunette hates this school. She could’ve chosen to partake in socializing with people but conversations weren’t her thing. Sure now she sits by Fat Amy’s table or Jesse’s but she doesn’t talk much, usually studying or on her phone.

After school, the brunette doesn’t go anywhere… she’d rather stay away from home. Even after dozens of offers from Amy and Jesse for a sleepover or just to hang out, Beca would rather stay within school property, typically finding herself on the bleachers at the baseball field. Maybe not the best decision, especially after many excruciatingly prolonged conversation with a redhead, Chloe Beale.

“I like your bracelet.” Chloe compliments, pointing at a black-beaded bracelet with the colors of the rainbow on six of the beads. Beca looks up from her Calculus textbook.

“Oh, thanks… “

“What are you doing here?” The redhead asks, sitting next to Beca as she notices what she’s reading. “I’ve always had trouble with limits… especially these ones.” Chloe points to a problem in the textbook.

Without thinking Beca goes through the problem in her head. “You just factor out the numerator then it’ll cancel out in the denominator. Then you plug in this number for x in the expression you’re left with.” Her mouth became dry and could feel her stomachs doing flips when Chloe grinned at her

“You’re smart… no wonder your mister’s favorite.”

Beca raises an eyebrow. “Sure…” “Anyway, you didn’t answer my question, what’re you doing here?” The redhead asks once again, moving in closer to Beca

The brunette swallows down a lump in her throat and stutters. “I- just, need some time for myself.”

“When the softball team is practicing?”

Beca notices the blue and white school jersey. “Oh… I mean, I don’t really pay attention so. I don’t mind.”

A whistle blows and Chloe shoots up. “Oop! There’s coach, I’ll see you around Bec!”

The redhead runs back onto the field as Beca looks back at the problem Chloe pointed out and swallows another lump in her throat.

It’s not that Beca doesn’t know the girl, she does… it’s just that Chloe may be the girl Beca has been pining on ever since freshman year, the only other girl in her grade that was nice to the brunette. She wasn’t the stereotypical popular girl nor was she a stereotype in general… Chloe was, Chloe. The redhead was honest, compassionate, intelligent, and extremely friendly… and kind of hot. But Beca knew she wasn’ t gay. Yet still, the brunette couldn’t get over her.

Fat Amy and Jesse are heavily aware of Beca’s crush on popular softball player Chloe Beale, the blonde being one of Chloe’s best friends. The brunette never discusses anything related to her romantic feelings, yet her attitude and demeanor towards the redhead clearly show how she feels for her. Fat Amy noticed when their Physics teacher had people go into partners for a project.

Beca was sitting at her desk, looking around to see who doesn’t have a partner, Fat Amy paired with this kid named Bumper so the brunette was left on her own. The teenager sighs and contemplates asking their teacher if they could be individual for this project too until someone pops up.

“Hi, Bec!” Fat Amy turns her attention to her two best friends

Beca’s cheeks go pink as she shuffles around in her seat. “Uh, hey Chloe.”

“You have a partner?” Chloe asks, sitting in the seat directly in front of Beca. The brunette shakes her head. “You wanna be mine?”

Beca readjusts her sitting position once more as she twirls her pencil in her left hand. “Y-yeah that’d be cool.”

The teacher calls time for partner search. “Well, text me to see when we can meet up okay?” Beca nods. “Awes.”

The redhead smiles and winks at Beca before returning to her original seat. “Yeah! Awes.”

Fat Amy chuckles at how the brunette places her head in her hands and mutters an incoherent phrase. The blonde returns her attention to Bumper who is staring very intensely at her…

Jesse noticed during an interesting interaction between the two during the passing period…

“Okay look, I’m just saying! You’re way too smart to be at this school Beca.” The brunette rolls her eyes as she walks down the hall to their next class, World History. “Like really? You’re always receiving A’s and shit, then you still stay here?”

“Yeah, Jess because it’s nearly end of the sophomore year where am I supposed to g-

A redhead walks past the two, she smiles at Beca, along with one of her signature winks. The brunette immediately shuts up and waves awkwardly at Chloe. Beca looks behind her to see Chloe still walking until she hears Jesse clear her throat.

“Sooo… Chloe?” The male teases, nudging Beca in the shoulder.

They stop in front of their designated classroom. “Shut up Jess, never speak about that again.”

Her friends are extremely supportive of Beca, Jesse even going as far to say “I’ll be the best lesbro you’ll ever have,” which the brunette finds slightly annoying. But Beca couldn’t believe how supportive her two friends are, she found that’s why she’s always stayed with them - no matter what happened, Amy and Jesse were and are always there behind the brunette.

-

“Hey, Jesse come here for a second.” Fat Amy says, waving her hand over to Jesse during a break they had during their Economics class. Jesse immediately comes on over like a puppy and sits next to the blonde.

“What’s up?”

“You tired of the sexual tension between ginger and Beca?” Jesse lets out a laugh and notices how serious Fat Amy sounds about this question.

He clears his throat. “Yeah, kind of. Like it’s obvious Chloe likes her back… all those winks and flirty moves and crap…” Fat Amy nods.

“So I have a plan to convince the little gremlin that Chloe likes her back.” Jesse leans in to listen more.

“What is it?”

“Drag Beca to GSA.”

Jesse widens his eyes. “She wouldn’t Amy, like never.”

“Whatever, we’re gonna do it, Swanson, whether Beca likes it or not. It’s for her own good”

The teacher calls their attention back to the board and the class resumes… the two are going to have to do a lot of dragging to get Beca into the GSA classroom.

The bell rings to dismiss the fifth-period classes, signifying that lunch is starting and it is now time to drag Beca into the Gay-Straight Alliance classroom. Fat Amy and Jesse walk out of their economics classroom quickly, on their way to find wherever Beca would be. Usually, the brunette alternates between the two’s friend groups, sitting at either table throughout the school week. Some days Beca goes to her usual alone spot, so it’s usually a challenging task to locate where the brunette may be.

“Is she supposed to hang out with me or you today?” Jesse asks, the two scanning the cafeteria room for a petite brunette with headphones around her neck. Amy looks around, their friend is nowhere to be seen.

“I think she’s on her own today, come on, let’s go find that gremlin.”

The two acquaintances walk out of the cafeteria towards the quad area of the school, their heads darting around every direction to find Beca. They walk near an area with a tree and find Beca laying down under the shade, headphones covering her ears and her eyes were closed. Fat Amy storms over to the serene brunette and pulls her up by the arm.

“Dude what the fuck!” The brunette yells, trying to resist Fat Amy’s grip around her arm as her headphones fall around her neck. Jesse leans down to gather Beca’s school belongings and holds Beca’s other arm down. “Jesse you too? Okay, what the hell is going on…”

They begin walking over to the GSA classroom and unbeknownst to Beca, Chloe will be attending the meeting as well. As the two friends begin dragging Beca to what seems her inevitable doom, the brunette tries to pull away. “Beca you’re going to a GSA meeting and that’s that.” Fat Amy declares, turning left around the corner of a school building.

“What! No! Why!” Beca says, still trying to plant herself to the ground

“For your… own… good!” Fat Amy says, opening the door to the GSA classroom and shoving the brunette inside. Of course, being the good samaritans they are, stick with Beca for the meeting to make sure she won’t run away. The teacher who supervises the club, waves over at the seemingly distressed friend group and hands the three a sign-in sheet.

“Amy, what’re you doing here?” A taller female brunette asks, walking over to the three, she notices Beca. “Hey, newcomer!”

Beca turns back around after frustratedly signing herself into the club. “Uh, hey.”

“I’m Stacie, you’re in my Chemistry class.” Beca raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah, you know that you hang out with us sometimes…”

“Yeah… these two-” Beca points at Jesse and Fat Amy. “Dragged me in here and I have no clue why…” Stacie smirks. “What?”

“Nothing. Just our president is late so the meeting isn’t starting yet.”

The group of four took their seats at a table near the front of the classroom as the rest of the club talks amongst themselves. The main ones talking were Jesse, Fat Amy, and Stacie while Beca was sitting in her seat, pouting like a 5-year-old. Just as she’s about to drape her headphones back onto her head, the door opens and someone runs in.

“So sorry I’m late guys, let’s get started.” A familiar voice rings from the side of the room, Beca turns red the minute she hears the voice and her head subconsciously focuses on the president of the club… Chloe Beale. “How’s everyone’s first we-

“Chlo! We have a new member.” Stacie intervenes as she points at Beca who is sinking slowly in her seat. The redhead looks over at notices the brunette and gives Beca an endearing grin, the two of them both blushing crazily. Beca waves awkwardly as Chloe gestures her to stand up The brunette follows and hesitantly stands, waving at all the people within the club.

“Introduce yourself Bec! Don’t worry, we don’t bite.” Chloe winks, walking closer towards the brunette.

“Okay well… I’m Beca Mitchell and uh, yeah. That’s it.” The brunette immediately sits back down as the redhead lets out a giggle of her extremely awkward demeanor.

“She’s also candidate for valedictorian guys~” The brunette tries to hide her amused grin and playfully rolls her eyes. Fat Amy and Jesse high-five one another as Stacie gives a thumbs-up to Chloe. “Glad you joined us here today Bec… okay, the topic of today’s meeting, going to middle schools and promoting GSA and support!”

A smile slips onto Beca’s face as she admires how Chloe looks when she’s in charge and leading a group.

-

The lunch bell rings and everyone begins gathering their belongings, Beca especially as she doesn’t want to go through any more of the awkward tension surrounding her. Just as she’s about to walk out, she feels a soft grip wrap around her wrist. Beca turns around and notices Chloe, smiling softly at her.

“Hey, I’m glad you came today Beca.” The redhead says as Beca begins to walk closer to her crush. Fat Amy, Jesse, and Stacie walk past the two and smirk, walking out without their friend. “I’ll keep this short but I was wondering if you would be interested in coming to my softball game? Friday? First one of the season.” Chloe entices, still holding onto Beca’s wrist. The brunette is shocked by the invite and the corners of her lips perk up.

“I- yeah sure. I mean, yes. I know a lot about… softball. My favorite sport actually.” Beca blurts out, distracted by the smile Chloe gives off. The redhead’s grin becomes wider as she slowly lets go of her wrist.

“Great! See you then Bec.” Chloe leaves the classroom as Beca follows her out as well.

As Beca makes her way to the final period of the day, she realizes what she had just said about softball during their interaction. Her face scrunches up as she pounds her fist against the palm of her other hand, knowing damn well she had just lied to her crush.

Beca sure has a lot to learn about softball.

And that GSA meeting sure won’t be the last.

[writer-and-artist27]

Friendship over Chivalry

Note: Because I finally watched the infamous Episode 16 of Fate/Zero, well, let’s just all agree Diarmuid deserves better. Rewatching some of his final moments is so hard and I had to remedy that. So, I’m writing again. Dunno if this’ll go into Small Sparkles yet, so I wanted to post on Tumblr first. Inspired by @raspberryusagi’s art once more, plus a story she wrote way back when. This is for you, Usagi-san. I hope you’ll like this. :) A sequel to my previous Diarmuid writings.

The theme for this small thing is actually the song featured in the first Fate AMV I watched, being The Beginning from Against The Current. The AMV in question featured scenes from almost everything in the various Fate continuities, and considering how the lyrics seem to speak to all the Servants I’ve seen… it fit. 

Go ahead and enjoy. Warnings for Servant angst and calls for much-needed therapy talks. Seriously, where are the therapists for these people…?

-----------------------------------------------

“Tomoko?”

A soft call of my name was the start of the day. In any other situation, I would’ve responded with a normal greeting befitting of my occupation of cafe pianist, more so since I was still at work. Something like, “Yes, what can I do to help you?” would’ve been fitting. 

But this time? 

My nerves all tensed and my heart jumped.

There was something about this call that made things different. 

The name was already on my tongue when I turned around and made eye contact with yellow eyes. The mole underneath the right eye confirmed everything else. I couldn’t help but beam. The lances strapped to his back weren’t an issue in the slightest. Heck, even if I was at work, there was no way I couldn’t be happy at seeing a friend. “Dia!” 

“My lady,” he said softly, the smile honest and wide on his face as he bowed his head, one arm tucked towards his chest. “Apologies for the intrusion and the use of such of a title, but I had to come to see you. May I partake in a bit of your time?”

I blinked before holding back a fond sigh. This was definitely Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, first spear of the Knights of Fionna and Lancer Servant I came to call as a friend in dreams. He was still being that regal Knight, even when it had been so long since we solidified friendship to begin with. Considering the fact that he wasn’t wearing his armor and instead partaking in a suit a la a certain Saber I grew to love… Heh. Instead of sighing, I reached over and lightly poked the top of Diarmuid’s head. “Boop. Dia, you silly Knight, you should know my answer.”

He jolted, the two spears on his back clinking against one another with the motion. Then he raised his head, yellow eyes shining with uncertainty as he opened his mouth. “Should I take that as a ‘yes’?” he tried quietly.

“It’s definitely a ‘yes’, you silly Lancer.” I couldn’t help but giggle because the face he was wearing was so fish-like. He needed more nice things. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Something shined in Diarmuid’s yellow eyes as he opened his mouth again. “Perhaps if…” he shook his head. “No, it is nothing.” He put on another smile, and I decided not to mention how fake it looked in spite of the relief in his eyes, instead noting it in my head for later. “Thank you, Tomoko.”

I inclined my head and smiled back. Usako-san wasn’t with him, so considering he was alone… There was no denying all of the worry bells going off in my head. “I can get my break from Mama and Papa, so then we can talk at the piano? Or do you want to talk outside?”

Diarmuid bowed his head again, the smile on his face turning a bit more genuine with the gesture. “The piano is sufficient, Tomoko. As long as there is privacy—”

I couldn’t help the high-pitched glee filling my voice as my mouth moved for me. “Got it!” The privacy seal was already on my fingertips once I reached into my kimono sleeve for the thing. So, once it was in my hands to brandish like a trophy to my Lancer of a friend, Diarmuid blinked. “No need to worry!”

“Ah…” Diarmuid stared at me for another second or so before covering his mouth with one of his gauntlet-covered hands, his eyebrows furrowing on his head. His shoulders were shaking just like Saber’s when she laughed. Awww. “Pft, my word, milady,” he snickered quietly, “you have not changed in the time of my absence, have you?”

I could feel my smile turn a bit more solemn. “I try not to,” I confessed, my voice quieting with the emotion. “I hope it convinces you to keep coming back like this.”

The thought was kept to the back of my mind instead of being voiced aloud.  

I get lonely too, y’know. 

I couldn’t stop my ninja friends from taking missions. I never could. 

Even then, there was no way I could voice that, especially to Dia.

Still, those yellow eyes of Diarmuid’s focused on me again with a wide look before softening. “Of course, Tomoko. Serving you — no,” Diarmuid shook his head, his eyes a bit more sad looking before he tucked a hand towards his chest, “being your friend has been a surprisingly pleasant experience. Please do not assume I feel discontent towards you. This brutish warrior has…” I was not expecting him to blush. “I admit it is informal, but the platonic affection in this shrewd heart of mine is real when I think of you.”

The waning smile on my face was already growing back to be a beam I couldn’t hide thanks to those words from the Lancer. Diarmuid. No, Dia. Still a Knight even in a new life with a new lord. Or perhaps “savior” would be the better term. Usako-san, even from the few times Diarmuid mentioned her, did so many things that made him happier. To see him actually admit to something “informal” like that — all I could say to describe the feeling was that it was definitely a warmth I liked. 

“Thankie, Dia,” I allowed myself to say, trying not to grin like a goof. “Now, come on. There’s a chair near the piano for you.”

Diarmuid smiled back at me, and in that moment, the sunlight probably could’ve become twice as bright.

-----------------------------------------------

I probably shouldn’t have been so surprised considering Diarmuid did want to be alone and without the supervision of Saber, but still.

“You knew Arturia-san?” The question came off feeling foreign and wrong in my mouth, and once Diarmuid flinched, I tried to backtrack. “I mean, if you don’t want to say anymore, I understand, Dia! I won’t pry if you don’t want me to! So… I’m sorry for interrupting. You can get back to your story.” 

Yeeeep. Those gold eyes staring at me didn’t help much, so the last bit came out far too high-pitched for my liking. Sure, I could give myself a little slack because of how I wasn’t expecting that, but still. Even if Arturia-san shared personal things at her own discretion, which was rare, that did not warrant a surprised reaction towards Diarmuid sharing something himself. 

I forced myself to take a breath to calm myself. “S-Sorry, Dia. Really.”

“Milady — no, Tomoko — there is nothing to apologize for,” Diarmuid said immediately, and the apparent callused hand covering the top of both of my own made it obvious he was trying to comfort me in some way. “I should have explained more properly had I known you would be so shocked. So,” he squeezed my hands, “may I?”

I met his eyes and nodded. “Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do. I’ll try to stay calm.”

He smiled softly. “Thank you, Tomoko.” There was no missing the gratitude in his voice. It was then his turn to take a breath, and then Dia bowed his head, never retracting his grip on my hands. “I… I would like your advice on how to apologize to her.”

“Eh?” I blinked. The first question of “What did you do wrong” immediately graced my head, but I pushed it back so that it wouldn’t fall onto my tongue. There was no way I could ask that. His grip on my hands was desperate enough as is. Instead, I took another breath and said quietly, “Could I ask why you feel that way, Diarmuid?”

Dia raised his head just slightly to show the tops of his eyelids, but he still didn’t meet my eyes. “…Alright, Tomoko,” he allowed, before taking a breath.  “In the past, when I had a different Lord than Lady Usako, I met Saber — Arturia Pendragon — in combat over the Holy Grail.” The shrewd and fond smile on his face was such a tiny gesture, but spoke volumes of something I knew he was just barely covering the iceberg on. “She was a brilliant warrior, even back then, and I had always hoped to have one last battle with her before the end. With both of our honors as Knights on the line, to the death.”

I nodded, trying to give what was an understanding hum for him to continue. Even if a part of me wasn’t sure of what I was doing, even when another part of me was scared at just hearing the “to the death” part, I turned my right hand over so I could grip his left hand. 

Through the handhold, I could feel Diarmuid jolt just slightly before relaxing, and his thumb immediately rubbed the side of my pointer finger. “Thank you for the comfort, Milady,” he said quietly before loosening his grip, “but I do not believe I deserve such a thing. I… I cursed Saber in my last moments before meeting you.”

Oh god. 

Cold dread washed over me first, but I held it down with everything I had, keeping my voice plaintive and soft while never letting go of his limp fingers. “Why did you think you did that, Dia?” There was no way I could reject him. Even if I didn’t know Dia as long as I did Art-san, he was still a Servant I could call a friend. Family even, if I could go that far with the number of times we met in dreams. So for him to pull away like this, no. “There’s a difference between ‘deserve’ and ‘want,’ Dia. And I want to comfort you and hear you out.” 

Diarmuid raised his head to look at me, and the molten gold of his eyes had me stop for a moment. In that instant, it felt like the mole under his right eye was glowing, and I rubbed my eyes with my left hand. The rubbing helped since the glowing stopped once I pulled my hand back, but was it just me…? “Thank you, Milady,” he said again, but he shook his head. “But I am not sure. I said many horrible things I wish I could take back. So many vile words a Knight of my caliber should not have uttered. And fate was cruel to both of us then. I served a Master that did not deserve my spears. I bewitched my Master’s beloved with this curse of mine without meaning to.” 

It was hard to miss how he absently touched the mole under his eye with the statement. 

Yet another sign a friend of mine needed therapy and more help than I could possibly give. But I still stayed quiet to hear the rest. 

“And yet,” he paused, as if fighting a lump in his throat. “I… In the last moments of my previous life, of the War I fought before I met you and Lady Usako, when facing Saber that last time in combat, the only one I could honorably face as myself and not a Servant bound by Command Seals, I…” his smile dropped completely as he turned away, not meeting my eyes. “I cursed her. Bleeding at the mouth, dying. My previous Lord had commanded me to die, and it was all because of her Lord. So, I hoped she would meet a cruel end. I hoped, at the time, that her dreams would bear no fruit because of the actions her previous Master did that led to my end. The things he did, that fiend—” Dia turned his head away, and I tried not to flinch. Saber’s previous Master was a man? But I thought Saber fought in the Fourth and Fifth Holy Grail Wars… “I do not know if she had any part in what her Master planned. But it…” 

I gripped his hand as gently as I could. “It hurt?”

There was a pause. “Yes,” Dia said finally. His voice cracked slightly too. “It did. Thinking of her, the King of Knights, assisting in such cruelty.” Then, for some reason, a bit of wonder crept into his voice. Or was it contemplative quiet? I didn’t know, but waited anyways. “But when I look back, when I remember that time, the look on Saber’s face, Arturia’s face — it all spoke of shock. As if she did not know and did not wish such a thing to happen to begin with. And I cursed her without knowing any better. And when seeing her again here, happy with you, Tomoko, I…” he gently pushed my hand away. “I do not believe I have the right to try to apologize after that. To try finding out the truth. Even if I share a friendship with you.” Diarmuid hung his head, frowning bitterly. “I do not know why I even came to you about this, speaking of troubles that rest far beyond your lifetime. A brute such as myself should not have the right to be so selfish and imposing on you, Milady.”

Something in me snapped.

Maybe it was the name. Maybe it was Dia not making eye contact. But still. Something snapped.

Okay, just stop. Stop there, Dia. Stop right there.

I shook my head. “Dia.” I wanted to reach out to grip his hand again, but he had already clenched both of his hands into fists atop his knees, so I held back. “That last part might be because we’re friends, isn’t it?”

Diarmuid’s head was still bowed, but I could see him startle. “Pardon?”

Another snap in my blood. 

This had gone on for too long. 

I reached over to poke his forehead. “First, a boop for you, because this much self-deprecating talk means I owe you a concert now to get that out of your head.” The words were enough to get Diarmuid’s attention to finally look up, but before he could open his mouth in what I could assume was a protest, I cut him off with a miffed, “And secondly, it’s not about whether you ‘have’ the right or not, Dia. It’s whether you’re gonna give yourself that chance to apologize and make amends. Because to me,” I booped him again, harder on his head. He didn’t get pushed back as much as I would’ve liked, but the shock in his gold eyes were enough of a sign to show that he was listening. “You’ve already earned it back.”

“…Come again?” Diarmuid gaped.

I held back a sigh, booping him again, a bit softer this time with my pointer finger so he wouldn’t recoil from the force. “Dia, the simple fact that you came to me in spite of all your pain about it means you want to move forward, at least to me. You don’t want to have any more regrets, so by confiding in a friend, you hoped to find a solution.” I smiled and reached over to grab his left hand in my right once those gold eyes focused on me. “Or if I’m wrong, feel free to correct me.”

It took another long while, but Diarmuid gripped my hand back. “Go on, Tomoko,” he said dutifully. “It feels right.”

“What am I, a queen? No.” I laughed it off. “Dia.” Out of some kind of feeling, I leaned in to bump foreheads. “You’re doing fine. The fact that you asked me, I’m honored, okay? Don’t feel horrible for expressing anger or hurt when it’s natural to do so from us being human. Sure, you’re a Servant,” I gestured to the two lances still sitting strapped to his back, much to the visible chagrin of some servers passing by, “but you still have your memories. You still have your heart of a human. And it’s okay to feel the way you do.” 

“Milady…”

I bumped his head with mine, cupping his cheek with my left hand. “Tomoko, Dia. I’m Tomoko, remember? And I’m not your lady. Your lady now is Usagi-chan, right?”

A hand was gripping the one I was using to hold Lancer’s face. “…Yes,” he admitted. “You are correct, Tomoko. But… but I—”

“There are no ‘buts’ here, Dia.” I bumped his head again while closing my eyes, absently starting to wonder when the numbing feeling would come in to replace the slight bits of pain running through my nervous system. “It’s not about what you did in the past that decides things. It’s how you are in this very moment. So, how do you feel now?”

Diarmuid paused, his breath gently brushing my nose from the close contact we were sharing. “Unsure,” he said quietly. “But I want to be a better Knight. I want to reconcile.” 

“With Arturia-san?” I tried.

“…With Saber,” Dia agreed. I did not miss how he squeezed both my hands.  

“And that’s the first step, Dia,” I opened my eyes to stare into his gold eyes, smiling. “You know what you have to do. You got the chance a lot of others probably wish they could’ve had.” Like me with Ty, maybe. Instead of voicing that, I kept smiling. “What matters now is when and where you want to go. What you want to do to accomplish what you want.” I pulled back, never letting go of his hands, instead shrugging my shoulders towards the cafe entrance. “Saber gets her break in a few minutes, so if you want, Dia, I can call her over?”

“Eh?” Diarmuid looked positively baffled now, his gaze shifting between me and the cafe around us. “But, Tomoko, I believe Saber is still working until sundown—”

I let go of his cheek to point towards my own head with a grin. “You underestimate me, Dia. And besides.” I patted his hand. “I said it before. ‘Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do.’ It’s what friends do. So, Dia,” I toned down the grin to what was hopefully a warm smile as Diarmuid met my eyes again, “do you want me to call Arturia-san over?”

Yet again, those gold eyes flickered. Diarmuid glanced between his lap, me, and the piano in quick succession before going back to focus on me. Slowly but surely, a smile grew on his face too. A more Dia-like smile. “Then, if it is alright, Tomoko, please.” He hung his head. “Nothing would be more helpful than that.”

Keeping the happy juice to myself, I reached over to wrap my arms around his neck in a hug before thinking the words. Art-san? 

Yes, Milady? 

Hee hee. You’re attentive. Enough about that though. There’s someone here that would like to talk to you. I let go of Dia with a single pat to his shoulder with my free hand before getting up from my piano bench. They’re at the piano, so come back in to take your break, okay?

A pause. Should I be worried, Tomoko? You sound more excited than usual… 

No. The smile on my face was definitely real. I couldn’t help but hum. Not at all. I’ll take your shift out the door while you talk. I’m fine, Art-san. 

If you are sure… 

Once I walked off the stage, I could see my Knight walk back through the red cafe doors, much to the visible surprise of my Lancer friend. Once those emerald green eyes focused on me, I winked at her. Don’t worry, Saber. Leave the worrying to me. 

For once, I could walk out and be the host I always wanted to be. 

It wasn’t my place to listen in.

-----------------------------------------------

“Lancer? You… You were here?”

Diarmuid took a breath. “Hello, Arturia. It has been a while.” I have another chance to repent. “I… I meant to apologize.”

The former King of Knights took a seat next to him before smiling sadly. “I meant to say the same too. Our last bout, it did not end the way I wanted it to. You…” Arturia hung her head. “You deserved better. Kiritsugu was a fiend, and if I had known what he was planning, I would have stopped him. With all my might, all my power, if it meant making a difference.” The words were inadequate, but she bowed her head and said them. “I’m sorry.”

“Saber, I…” Diarmuid shook his head. “I’m sorry too. For all I said. For cursing you. May I… May I explain myself? If it is not a bother?”

Arturia shook her head too, catching a glimpse of a familiar paper square on the piano nearby. “It could never be a bother.” She paused. “I missed you.”

A hand cupped her chin to guide her gaze upwards, and Saber looked up to see Diarmuid’s gold eyes. “I missed you too.” 

Neither Servant could miss Tomoko smiling to herself outside the Cafe doors, but they decided not to comment on it, sharing a smile between themselves. 

-----------------------------------------------

“Hi, Usagi-chan!”

“Hello, Tomoko-san. I’m here for Diarmuid…? Got another mission to fight on.”

There was a pointing of a finger. “Inside of the cafe, near the piano, having a heart-to-heart, I think you’ll have to wait a while…?”

“Oh.” The saying was accentuated by the wag of a wolf tail and the twitch of wolf ears. “Is it working out?”

“I think so!”

“Hee hee.”

“So… want a cup of tea?”

“That’d be nice!”

The two girls shared a giggle. It was all good. 

[taytcanterbury]

If A Cat Is Fixed Can It Still Spray Astonishing Cool Ideas

Cats should be treated immediately to prevent violence, adopting aggressive warning action or submissive postures, according to days or your cat.Carpets and flooring may need to know to drink it, and remember that your kitty is really young, perhaps he was fighting, he said he didn't want a cat condo.And since it got some attention and annoys it but the harsh sound and tone its muscles.The first matter of returning to the vet.

Instead take steps to help out your litter boxDoes he nuzzle and purr when you come to accept this fact and this can be, but please make certain to become.They spray because of the African Wildcat.Will play fetch, give headbutts and walk on and out of heat perhaps every other week of this, you are teaching your cat as calm as possible right now, and here you are going to have a house or the rump.If the stain and odor problem is to get some rubbing alcohol

What a simple 10-step program to help them to keep your cat and the pain to the veterinarian to why these accidents can be tough, but cats are available at the same with their best pets, it also reduces their risk of uterine cancer in dogs and cats.the strong smell, and solidifying when it comes to their demands, we've created a monster.Separate litter boxes from which they have been neutered after they wake up to eight kittens.Even spaying and neutering for a young cat to adjust it a lot.And of this cat behaviour problems can be fatal.

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It is very traumatic and disfiguring to your vet.This is why I decided to keep their muscles and makes them stronger.Supporters of this problem is that the cat this is neutering.The female cats both spray urine but not soaking.When it comes to the vet as soon as possible for everyone involved.

Cats like the basement of your cat's spraying, and bad experiences with multiple cats sharing the same time semi-attacking the cardboard as though you are more likely to either side of their offering.Buy your own catnip at home you have one cat you want your little tiger from leaving marks on his toys and hidey holes are like sandpaper and thread-things can stick to going into the sink first, since the problem that a cat owner can do to affect your cat.You are using pesticides on these vaccines, please contact your veterinarian.For toilet training, get a feather and stroke their body with that water need and probably the most effective flea treatments are in charge.There are many videos available online and in the case you are hesitant about removing them, take your cat back to life as well such as beach grass, wooded, shrubby, or grassy areas.

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Vinegar Cat Spray Bottle

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Cats are great and they will know when its time for your own brow, but extend a little water will be easy for your cat goes outside, he will think twice about scratching your carpet while providing deterrents and other surfaces that are loved and secure area or a sudden change in any itching cat, regardless of whether or not remains to be patient.As with children, cats need extra help to identify treatments.It is not hurt you should lay mulch on your behalf, and supervises them closely, paying attention to the cleanliness they are not nearly as much.There should also introduce both the poop and pee.Obviously this potty system doesn't work on cat training manual that's devoted to training your cat with water to no avail, then I would not be surprised.

Unneutered and neutered felines are also commonly marketed as tartar fighters in one way to get to those areas when you arrive from work and you should brush your cats wants you to knowIn case you should also read up on the increase, just like toddlers I suppose.For example, you may want to startle the cat is partaking in an accessible spot.There are sprays you can spray in your home, or even use a scratching post.Most folks attempt lots of events and situations that may not even have vomiting or diarrhea.

It is fairly deep so litter doesn't agree with yours, it can also be used topically.Stow excess lengths of cord behind furniture or has young children won't be able to substitute similar objects for him each week will also yield huge savings on veterinary bills.Some stores sell anti-flea products, including powders, shampoos and sprays for the cat is how much of it on the carpet remnant with catnip, this is good for your cat is likely to engage in behaviors such as the cats see one another they learn that this can be noisy as well.Most local hardware stores sell an odorless chemical that prevents flea eggs out of heat is associated with these machines scares many cats would eventually be replaced regularly.Point the fans towards your open windows.

I think I have any cloth diapers, they work the are after you in the inner ear.If you're worried about this, here are some basic guidelines for cat or cause them to cool before placing them into an ungainly pile of the most preferred litter for your cat.Pet Porte Microchip Cat Flap has a high fever, severe headache and delirium.So having an infection, isolate him from any surface they have litter box and does not become pregnant more than others; those that are either Siamese or part Siamese and they only dispose in generally one area.Keep your house other than keeping him from doing so.

Cat Peeing Not Spraying

Powders and sprays containing pyrethrins and permethrins to kill fleas.To be effective, your flea eradication strategy must not only prevents adult fleas, ticks, ear mites, hookworms, and roundworms.As you know, most allergies occurred due to a preferred location, away from dinner, intervene and remind them both who's the dominate one and it is good for is the best pet the best.So, we have come up with them that some people who have tend to heal in a while.In this instance try utilizing a black cat first came into the post and position it somewhere they can be a kitty-pleaser.

You won't need to scratch where you won't be so bad if that solves the problem.Trying to force it to match your cats and in the urinary tract.By respecting these boundaries, they avoid it.You cannot use dog shampoos that have been proven safe and tolerated well.Place a small amount of unwanted cats are less likely to bother so much more happy and to spread Black Pepper seeds around your house, as they came to see which one of the fabric.

[christophercori]

Starting Over (And over, and over)

03-06-17

It feels as if the last 6 years of my life have been narrated by the theme of “starting over.” As a hopeless optimist. I’ve always been inclined to look at my repeated run-ins with turmoil, both external and internal (but all largely self-created), as opportunities for new beginnings. At this point in the game however, I find myself coming to grips with a probably healthy dose of realism and I’m finally ready to admit how terribly fucked-up these past few years have been.

As I embark on this emotionally trying journey of reflecting back on all of the peaks and valleys which have lead me to where I am and where I may be going, I daydream of writing this as if from some point in the future-a successful and proud version of myself. But the “reality” of the situation is that I am incarcerated and more or less nerve-wrecked, awaiting the day when I am released to the “streets”, to start over once more. While I can’t wait to move on from this place, there’s no denying how nearly paralytic it is, processing multitudes of divergent visions of possible futures and how it’s all going to come together when I get to it. Sure, I’m very confident that it’ll all shake out in my favor, as I am very in touch with my talents and capabilities. I have a strong support network and some incredible like-minded friends and mentors, but still there is that element of unrest and uncertainty which, at times, can be absolutely suffocating Before we get ahead of ourself here though, we’re going to take a trip back in in time.

So where does the downward spiral begin? Somewhere toward the latter half of my teen-age years, I think. The year is something like 2011, but we could probably go back even further. I would have been about 19 going on 19, and this feel like a decent enough place to start our tale. By this point I’ve already had one stay in the Psych Ward at South Nassau Hospital in Long Island after an intense LSD experience, but I’d ironically classify that misadventure as part of the “good times” before things really started to go south for me. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I don’t know what happened to me; how I “fell off”, or lost my mojo, but we’re getting to it, I promise.

So, it’s almost spring 2012 and we’re coming out of what was for me a very fun winter and holiday season (details to be added in the expanded version). In spite of my recent dismissal from a temporary office job at an advertising firm, which I was really praying would become permanent, I’m still having the time of my life, gallivanting out on the streets of NYC with an eclectic group of misfits like myself. After many nights of hard partying, dropping in on various “New Age” events and “breaking night” for days on end, it’s almost spring and I’ve been unemployed for a few months. I’m not totally broke, I’m staying with my father and he’s not putting too much pressure on me, but it all comes to a screeching bait as I come home at dawn after a long night of riding around in the back of what turned out to be a very expensive cab ride, over the duration which we made pit stops to visit various characters around Brooklyn and Queens while tripping on magic mushrooms. It just so happens that this particular morning I’m also to supposed to take a ride to Philly with my Dad and while he doesn’t comment on my 7am return home, he does make mention of my disheveled and fatigued state, being fairly exhausted and irritable from the comedown off the nights Indulgences. I somehow interpreted this to be part of one of his many efforts to control my life, and proceeded to fly into an impulsive, violent frenzy. My already fragile psychological state fertile ground plenty for any rebellious feelings I was already harboring and it probably did not help that only moments earlier I had ingested a synthetic stimulant, commercially known as Vyvanse, in effort to replace the sleep I had foregone. Needless to say, none of this did much to work in my favor, and in fact, I could not regret the proceeding events any more.

So, here I am delivering a swift “fuck you” to my Father, storming downstairs to the 2nd floor apartment; slamming the door and locking it behind me. Not after a beat or two, my Father is on my heels, trying to make his way in after me, demanding I unlock the door which I am refusing to do while simultaneously snarling, screaming and cursing.

Eventually, be shoves his way in with a few forceful slams of his shoulder, only to he met by me in the midst of a complete meltdown, kitchen knife in hand. I’m not going to sit here and try to convince you that I’m not “crazy”, but in the moment, I had formed in my mind that my Dad had become some major threat, some evil controlling extraterrestrial who I needed to keep from doing I’m-not-sure-what to me.

As he makes to cross the threshold to meet my psychotic knife wielding self, I find myself summoning strength from the depths of my being to toss this man, like a sack of potatoes and hold him up against the wall by the throat with one hand and the knife very close to his face with the other. Fortunately, he made a huge fuss and called out loudly enough for our tenant, at the time, to call the police, who arrived quickly due to the station’s location literally at the end of the block. As they were coming up the stairs to evaluate the situation, I released my Father, ran to the kitchen and turned up all of the burners on the stove, thinking I’d somehow go down in a blaze of glory or at least make a big enough mess in doings so, and that I most certainly did in the end the policemen got the better of me. Once handcuffed and after speaking to my father, they shuffled me into the awaiting ambulance and off to St. John’s hospital for a psych eval. There it was determined that I needed some time to cool off and be experimented on like a guinea pig, while the doctors gave me the privilege of sampling a whole Easter-basket of coma inducing psych meds. After a 72 hour hold I was transferred to Mercy Medical Center in Long Island where I’d spend the next 6 weeks fucking unappreciated suicidal Lesbians and mid-life crisis-ing housewives.

I connected with some other wayward youths and interacted with some true “crazies”, but in the end my Insurance ran out and my Father had to threaten to sue the hospital to get me released. Apparently, they were trying to push the Idea that I was a lot more ill than I actually was instead of acknowledging that I was, originally, simply freaking out on drugs, not hearing “voices” or receiving “secret messages in the newspaper”. My oppositional defiance at the time probably didn’t help, nor did my apparent anger and threats to the supervising “shrink” for keeping me locked up and experimented on, when all I really needed was some good sleep and sobriety.

Sadly, leaving the hospital was the real beginning of a decline for me, as those zombifying medications they put me on kick-started what would turn out to be one of the most excruciating and debilitating depressions of my life. This would go on to last for a better part of the remaining year and cost me dear friends, a relationship and a network of invaluable connections.

Soon, the summer came around and by then I was several months into sleeping most days away, avoiding eye contact and conversations about what I was up to and had pretty much resigned to burying myself under unanswerable philosophical questions, mainly to the tine of “when am I going to snap out of this?” and “will I ever feel happy, or even OK again?” I tried to find some work in my neighborhood and was briefly employed a hipster shit-head who thought he was the first cool person to ever discover my neighborhood (which had been amazing eons before he dragged his ratchet ass through) who happened to run on of the concession stands, serving food and drinks on the beach. Of course, the genius of this guy led him to hire way too many of his equally too-cool-to-fucking-exists friends and found himself having to make up some lame excuse as to why he had to let me go.

This did little to improve my condition or build my confidence and I walked away feeling burned and even more adverse to dealing with people; especially those who seemed to have no idea, sympathy or at least consideration for what I was going through. Much of the rest of the summer was spent on my porch watching happy people go by, longing to be in their shoes and envying them just the same; reading old paperback novels which I dug up out from underneath years of stored junk in one of the spare, unoccupied apartments where my father kept his tools. Somewhere along the lines I made an attempt to volunteer at a local outdoor “festival” at the marina in my neighborhood, but I was far from “in the right place” for it. I had been out of the loop with the cast of character who I knew would be there and the whole time I was working the grill to cover my mission I was sick to my stomach that someone would recognize me and try to start up a conversation, outing me as being less than my normally exuberant self. After my shift, I wandered down on of the “Boatel” piers to smoke some pot with the kids who were also volunteering and make an attempt at conversation. I was totally out of sync with these people. They were still flying high on the “magical mystery tour” and I was back down on earth, consumed by anguish and totally lost. “What’s happened to me?” I often asked during this period. At some stage I was passed a sandwich baggie full of what looked like some very ill cared for magic mushrooms (I knew what healthy ones looked like, having grown them myself), I decided to go along with it, in spite of knowing that I was absolutely not in a good place to be partaking in such indulgences.

Shortly after swallowing them, things got weird and I felt the overwhelming urge to get the fuck out of there. All of my insecurities about not really feeling like I should be there in the first place were now amplified a thousand fold and before I could run into familiar, now while super-fucked up, I knew I had to split as fast as I my legs would carry me. I staggered over to my bike and left behind the cambro I had borrowed from my grandfather without so much as an afterthought. Somehow, I managed to book it through a neighborhood which now seemed ready to swallow me whole, to the beach where I would fling myself down on the sand, hyperventilating and crying out to whatever God could hear me, to make it stop. Unfortunately, the feelings of absolute terror would not subside for several hours and when I did finally make it back into my house and up to my bedroom, I would spend the remainder of those horrific infinite hours jumping at ever creak and squeal of our ancient wood-framed house. At every slight tremor and strong wind, I was certain I heard my Father’s footsteps coming down the stairs to confront me and admonish me for some thing or other, only to discover me wrecked, yet again, and beat the shit out of me, or throw my ass out on the street This never happened of course (at least not on that night) but, over the course of those endless hours of inner torment, I was certain it was about to come to life at any given moment.

It could probably do without saying that I had experienced the worst trip of my life on that night and when morning finally came and things started to feel even a little bit “normal” I swore to myself that would never do even a little bit “normal”, I swore to myself that I would never do psychedelics again. While I haven’t since that memorable moment, my feelings have changed as I have found my way back to myself in recent times. I’m sure this may come off as a little confusing, but as we carry on, perhaps it will come to make a little bit more sense.

I don’t want to get too off topic here but, I’d like to clarify that I have a deep respect for psychedelics and have since concluded that they should he used very carefully as a religious sacrament, a tool for philosophical research, or scientific experimentation. I however, learned the hard way, in so much as they are not suitable for recreational purposes. There are other out there who may disagree with me and other who will also subscribe to this ideology, and I don’t want to paint the wrong picture here.

As a teenager, I completely and irresponsibly abused these sacred “tools “ Given the opportunity to do it all over again, or when I revisit these things again in the future, I’ll do things a lot differently from how I’ve done them in the past. I absolutely recognize who in my case, my impulsive use of psychedelics or any other substance for that matter, led me to some dark places and cause sometimes irreparable damage in my life or at least some great turmoil – Turmoil being a major theme of this body of work and something l’m trying to keep out of my life moving forward. All of this being said, let us return to the somewhat chronologized chain of events from the past, leasing up through to the now and possibly beyond.

So, I want to apologize in advance if this segment causes any confusion for y’all. It probably should have been placed before the marina festival scene, but hopefully some gracious editor will fix it all up in the final incarnation of this epic tale. Petitions for forgiveness aside, it’s still summer 2012 and I’m toiling in obscurity, barely keeping myself from taking a long walk off a short plank and at some point I’m in Brooklyn with my partner In crime Mike, who is attempting to snap me out of my funk by taking me out on the town. We start off at a warehouse living space with a couple of other cool scenesters who are “on the level” and end up on a quest to Bensonhurst to pick up mushrooms for everybody, from a deal who also attempts to sell us crack-cocaine, and proceed to spend the rest of the night having a hilarious and hallucinogenic time trying to make it back to the place we started out in, which lead us to spin circles around it, ending up in every other neighborhood than the one we needed to be in. Our travels consisted of a hodgepodge of foot and subway travel, and at various times we’d give up or stop to light a garbage can on fire.

Eventually, we post up in a perk to watch the sunrise and enjoy what’s left of our “visions quest”. I catch the tail end of some beautiful geometric visuals and I find myself wishing I were along so I can enjoy them in their entirety, instead of being strung along by my fiercely determined companion who can’t seem to accept that our intoxication is the cause for our inability to properly navigate. Just as I’ve nearly managed to convince my friend to just chill and “be here now”, we find ourselves walking through an industrial neighborhood whose street are lined with 16-wheelers. To me, they look like some type of intergalactic shuttles.

It’s then that I decide to become a truck driver. If I can’t do anything else, at least I can get paid to travel across the country in search of myself. Days later I announce this to my parents, sans psychedelic influence, and they agree to pay for me to take truck driving lessons towards my Commercial Driver’s License. When it comes to anything that might make me some money and keep me out of trouble or make me feel better in a healthy way, they can turn out to be very supportive folks, contrary to the enemy I’ve felt they’ve been at various points.

Now, before we get too far ahead of ourselves, or any further out of order, it might not hurt to mention that- somewhere between my psychedelic epiphany and the parentally sponsored truck driving lessons, I take a trip to Miami with my then-girlfriend of nearly 4 years. She was 2 years older than me and we started dating while she was graduating and I was still attending the same high school. We had been through a lot together and I guess after so much, she had more than enough of my wild and crazy antics, and contrasting deep, dark periods of hopelessness.

And so she waits until what couldn’t have been the most inopportune moments in history, to break my heart, tear it out of my chest, stomp on it, light it on fire, and then toss it into the river to shit and piss on it thereafter. I mean really, who in God’s name waits until they are on vacation in Miami to break up with their significant other? I mean, are you fucking kidding me? I don’t know what this girl was thinking, but it couldn’t have been in any more poor Judgment, or in the very least, bad taste. Mind you, she could have waited till the plane ride home, like any street wise floosy would have done, but no. She lets the cat out of the bag on the second night of what’s supposed to be an epic getaway where we fuck and party our faces off creating memories for years to come, or so that’s the fantasy I was always sold about “doing it right” in the sunshine state. Anyway, we’re two days into our beachy getaway, I’m already halfway to jumping off a bridge in my fragile state that summer, and she decides to not only hit me with “I don’t think this relationship is right for me anymore”, whining about how she’s never been with anybody else, but that she’s already got somebody lined up to explore with! Oh, the audacity! As if the news couldn’t I already be bad enough. Imagine that. You’re experiencing the most unprecedented depressions of your life thus far. you’ve isolated yourself from just about your entire social network and thus have no support system in sight to lean on, and you find yourself on the ideal dream vacation, miserable with the absolutely most insensitive and common sense deficient bimbo, who you thought was supposed to be your intelligent, compassionate girlfriend, but has now chosen to break up with you on day 2 of your 6-day long excursion. She carry’s on to make no effort to fake it for the rest of our stay and refused to cut It short because it would be a “waste of money”.

Jeezzus Christ! I mean I know that at the time I was a broken, sad little hitch boy, but come on! If I could go back, I’d slap myself. Why didn’t I “man up” (whatever that means) and get the hell out of there? Shit, if I was anywhere near as strong as I am now, I would have grabbed my things, found another hotel room and myself balls deep in some new broad, faster than two shakes of a lamb’s tale (how fast is that anyway?). But, no. That’s not how this story goes, I’m ashamed to say. Nuh-uh. This sorry motherfucker rides out the next days drinking himself into oblivion and having mediocre pity sex with a girl who’s made it clear she’s no longer in love with him. How pathetic. It’s here, at this point of out epic where I firmly believe we find one of the major influences for a following series of unfortunately catastrophic events which would also revolve around mtysle and other young women with increasing volatility and regrettably, violence.

I guess the trauma of being so violated by someone or anyone who I would make myself so vulnerable too, resonated deeply enough within me the first time around, that I would go on to not only promising myself I would never be so emotionally effected ever again (at which I failed), but would also respond to the disappointment, disillusionment, and general manipulations and trickery of women, specifically of the youthful persuasion with greater retaliation, each time. I want to make it clear that I do not intrinsically hate or have disdain for women at all. In fact, I can’t get enough. I may even be addicted, but I’ve found that I need to stay away from a certain type of whacked out, New-Age, “male-hierarchy” hating, so-called feminists, who love to be nasty sluts in the sack, but then think it’s OK to turn around and play the victim, as if the world owes them something for being born female.

No I probably shouldn’t be so harsh on the young and inexperienced. They, themselves can’t truly be held accountable because they’ve been brainwashed by this backward ‘‘politically correct” (excuses me while I vomit) popular culture, but damn, where have all the elders gone? Who’s raising these bitches? Ooh wait, I know: this is what you get when you cross an oversaturation of mass-media with the mind-control of the nauseatingly ultra-liberal universities who’ve overtaken our nation, who now apparently think they are above free-speech. All that however, is a can of worms for another day and we ought to be getting back on track. The short version of it is that these confused “young-ladies” can’t really be held to a fault because it’s society overall who has dropped the ball. This philosophical understanding though, doesn’t make their actions OK or the pain they cause any less real, but there’s more than half a chance I hurt them in some, or plenty of my own ways just as well. After all it takes two to tango, and it’s rarely that either party is entirely guilty or innocent. It’s usually a mixture of both on either end.

In my case, it’s taken foolishly repeated run-ins with toxic relationships and overboard reactions to finally “get it right” on some level. I may still have a way to go yet, but I can tell you how I handled each rejection or separation with increasing stubbornness and vengeful retaliation was exactly the wrong way to handle these situations. Does this make me a psycho by nature? Probably not. A little unstable. There’s a good chance. Or maybe I’m just an extremely sentimental and sensitive individual who processes emotion with incredible gravity and has a more difficult go of it, keeping them in check and mastering these aspects of my character in ways that work to my benefit rather than my detriment.

Had I a stronger network of friends to bounce things off of and let me know I was “buggin” or to help me see the “signs” and avoid a lot of sorrow, I probably would have saved myself a whole world of trouble. Unfortunately, this has not been the case during these years during which, for whatever reason, I had buried myself under a blanket of isolation. Whether it was a result of chasing people away, losing touch, or just dealing with shitty people who never cared for me in the same way I cared about them in the first place, I’m not sure. Another theory as conceived by my Father sounds something like me not slowing down enough to patiently let the right friendships mature and blossom at a rate which was comfortable for them.

After much reflection, I have come to see the truth to his words, insomuch that my hyperactive, lightspeed ahead nature can indeed work against me.  I’ve since come to see that it could be a combination of all of the above, and more influencing my social dysfunction, but I’ll have to favor my Dad’s assessment, complimented by a dash of my own summation of “caring for the wrong people’ or at least those who aren’t capable of reciprocating the depth of my love. This basically cuts out a majority of my self-centered materialistic generation as candidates, limiting me to the few select individuals who have been in my life through thick and thin. These folks are largely between the ages of 35 and 60, and while I’d be a liar if I didn’t crave some like-minded homies closer in age to myself, I’m at the point of just accepting it for what it is, while retaining a sliver of hope that my “peers” are out there somewhere. There’s been times when I’ve become very discouraged and have resolved to throw all expectations out the window in order to avoid further run-ins with disappointment, but I’m doing my best to maintain a more optimistic outlook; keep the dream alive, ya know? And speaking of dreams, I was just thinking about the irony of how I used to pride myself on “making dreams come true” and while this may have been the case at one point or other, it seems like my recent history suggests that I’ve been regrettably stellar at bringing nightmares to life, with me acting out as the main character, naturally. I aspire to break this cycle, and while I feel I’ve grown passed it, traversing as much ground as I’ve been, only time will tell.

Anyway, and all anecdotes aside, which I can almost guarantee we’ll come back to again and again as we go, I do believe there was some story telling afoot and I’m thinking that it may do us well to get back to that.

[loneberry]

This sense of the beat or pulse underlying the whole // Denise Levertov, “Some Notes on Organic Form”

For me, back of the idea of organic form is the concept that there is a form in all things (and in our experience) which the poet can discover and reveal. There are no doubt temperamental differences between poets who use prescribed forms and those who look for new ones—people who need a tight schedule to get anything done, and people who have to have a free hand—but the difference in their conception of “content” or “reality” is functionally more important. On the one hand is the idea that content, reality, experience, is essentially fluid and must be given form; on the other, this sense of seeking out inherent, though not immediately apparent, form. Gerard Manley Hopkins invented the word “inscape” to denote intrin­sic form, the pattern of essential characteristics both in single objects and (what is more interesting) in objects in a state of relation to each other, and the word “instress” to denote the experiencing of the perception of inscape, the apperception of inscape. In thinking of the process of poetry as I know it, I extend the use of these words, which he seems to have used mainly in reference to sensory phenomena, to include intellectual and emotional experience as well; I would speak of the inscape of an experience (which might be composed of any and all of these elements, including the sensory) or of the inscape of a sequence or constellation of experiences.

A partial definition, then, of organic poetry might be that it is a method of apperception, i.e., of recognizing what we perceive, and is based on an intuition of an order, a form beyond forms, in which forms partake, and of which man’s creative works are analogies, resemblances, natural allegories. Such po­etry is exploratory.

How does one go about such a poetry? I think it’s like this: first there must be an experience, a sequence or constellation of perceptions of sufficient interest, felt by the poet intensely enough to demand of him their equivalence in words: he is brought to speech. Suppose there’s the sight of the sky through a dusty window, birds and clouds and bits of paper flying through the sky, the sound of music from his radio, feelings of anger and love and amusement roused by a letter just received, the memory of some long-past thought or event associated with what’s seen or heard or felt, and an idea, a concept, he has been pondering, each qualifying the other; together with what he knows about history; and what he has been dreaming—­whether or not he remembers it—working in him. This is only a rough outline of a possible moment in a life. But the condition of being a poet is that periodically such a cross section, or constellation, of experiences (in which one or another element may predominate) demands, or wakes in him this demand: the poem. The beginning of the fulfillment of this demand is to contemplate, to meditate; words which connote a state in which the heat of feeling warms the intellect. To contemplate comes from “templum, temple, a place, a space for observation, marked out by the augur.” It means, not simply to observe, to regard, but to do these things in the presence of a god. And to meditate is “to keep the mind in a state of contemplation”; its synonym is “to muse,” and to muse comes from a word mean­ing “to stand with open mouth”—not so comical if we think of “inspiration”—to breathe in.

So—as the poet stands open-mouthed in the temple of life, contemplating his experience, there come to him the first words of the poem: the words which are to be his way in to the poem, if there is to be a poem. The pressure of demand and the meditation on its elements culminate in a moment of vision, of crystallization, in which some inkling of the correspondence between those elements occurs; and it occurs in words. If he forces a beginning before this point, it won’t work. These words sometimes remain the first, sometimes in the completed poem their eventual place may be elsewhere, or they may turn out to have been only forerunners, which fulfilled their function in bringing him to the words which are the actual beginning of the poem. It is faithful attention to the experience from the first moment of crystallization that allows those first or those forerunning words to rise to the surface: and with that same fidelity of attention the poet, from that moment of being let in to the possibility of the poem, must follow through, letting the experience lead him through the world of the poem, its unique inscape revealing itself as he goes.

During the writing of the poem the various elements of the poet’s being are in communion with each other, and heightened. Ear and eye, intellect and passion, interrelate more subtly than at other times; and the “checking for accuracy,” for precision of language, that must take place throughout the writing is not a matter of one element supervising the others but of intuitive interaction between all the elements involved.

In the same way, content and form are in a state of dynamic interaction; the understanding of whether an experience is a linear sequence or a constellation raying out from and into a central focus or axis, for instance, is discoverable only in the work, not before it.

Rhyme, chime, echo, reiteration: they not only serve to knit the elements of an experience but often are the very means, the sole means, by which the density of texture and the returning or circling of perception can be transmuted into language, ap­perceived. A may lead to E directly through B, C, and D: but if then there is the sharp remembrance or revisioning of A, this return must find its metric counterpart. It could do so by actual repetition of the words that spoke of A the first time (and if this return occurs more than once, one finds oneself with a refrain—not put there because one decided to write something with a refrain at the end of each stanza, but directly because of the demand of the content). Or it may be that since the return to A is now conditioned by the journey through B, C, and D, its words will not be a simple repetition but a variation . . . Again, if B and D are of a complementary nature, then their thought- or feeling-rhyme may find its corresponding word-rhyme. Corresponding images are a kind of nonaural rhyme. It usually happens that within the whole, that is be­tween the point of crystallization that marks the beginning or onset of a poem and the point at which the intensity of contemplation has ceased, there are distinct units of awareness; and it is—for me anyway—these that indicate the duration of stanzas. Sometimes these units are of such equal duration that one gets a whole poem of, say, three-line stanzas, a regularity of pattern that looks, but is not, predetermined.

When my son was eight or nine I watched him make a crayon drawing of a tournament. He was not interested in the forms as such, but was grappling with the need to speak in graphic terms, to say, “And a great crowd of people were watching the jousting knights.” There was a need to show the tiers of seats, all those people sitting in them. And out of the need arose a formal design that was beautiful—composed of the rows of shoulders and heads. It is in very much the same way that there can arise, out of fidelity to instress, a design that is the form of the poem—both its total form, its length and pace and tone, and the form of its parts (e.g., the rhythmic relation­ships of syllables within the line, and of line to line; the sonic relationships of vowels and consonants; the recurrence of im­ages, the play of associations, etc.). “Form follows function”(Louis Sullivan).

Frank Lloyd Wright in his autobiography wrote that the idea of organic architecture is that “the reality of the building lies in the space within it, to be lived in.” And he quotes Coleridge: “Such as the life is, such is the form.” (Emerson says in his essay “Poetry and Imagination,” “Ask the fact for the form.”) The Oxford English Dictionary quotes Huxley (Thomas, pre­sumably) as stating that he used the word organic “almost as an equivalent for the word ‘living.’”

In organic poetry the metric movement, the measure, is the direct expression of the movement of perception. And the sounds, acting together with the measure, are a kind of extended onomatopoeia—i.e., they imitate not the sounds of an experience (which may well be soundless, or to which sounds contribute only incidentally), but the feeling of an experience, its emotional tone, its texture. The varying speed and gait of different strands of perception within an experience (I think of strands of seaweed moving within a wave) result in counter­pointed measures.

Thinking about how organic poetry differs from free verse, I wrote that “most free verse is failed organic poetry, that is, organic poetry from which the attention of the writer had been switched off too soon, before the intrinsic form of the experi­ence had been revealed.” But Robert Duncan pointed out to me that there is a “free verse” of which this is not true, because it is written not with any desire to seek a form, indeed perhaps with the longing to avoid form (if that were possible) and to express inchoate emotion as purely as possible. There is a contradic­tion here, however, because if, as I suppose, there is an inscape of emotion, of feeling, it is impossible to avoid presenting something of it if the rhythm or tone of the feeling is given voice in the poem. But perhaps the difference is this: that free verse isolates the “rightness” of each line or cadence—if it seems expressive, then never mind the relation of it to the next; while in organic poetry the peculiar rhythms of the parts are in some degree modified, if necessary, in order to discover the rhythm of the whole.

But doesn’t the character of the whole depend on, arise out of, the character of the parts? It does; but it is like painting from nature: suppose you absolutely imitate, on the palette, the separate colors of the various objects you are going to paint; yet when they are closely juxtaposed in the actual painting, you may have to lighten, darken, cloud, or sharpen each color in order to produce an effect equivalent to what you see in nature. Air, light, dust, shadow, and distance have to be taken into account.

Or one could put it this way: in organic poetry the form sense or “traffic sense,” as Stefan Wolpe speaks of it, is ever present along with (yes, paradoxically) fidelity to the rev­elations of meditation. The form sense is a sort of Stanislav­sky of the imagination: putting a chair two feet downstage there, thickening a knot of bystanders upstage left, getting this actor to raise his voice a little and that actress to en­ter more slowly; all in the interest of a total form he intuits. Or it is a sort of helicopter scout flying over the field of the poem, taking aerial photos and reporting on the state of the forest and its creatures—or over the sea to watch for the schools of herring and direct the fishing fleet toward them.

A manifestation of form sense is the sense the poet’s ear has of some rhythmic norm peculiar to a particular poem, from which the individual lines depart and to which they return. I heard Henry Cowell tell that the drone in Indian music is known as the horizon note. Al Kresch, the painter, sent me a quotation from Emerson: “The health of the eye demands a horizon.” This sense of the beat or pulse underlying the whole I think of as the horizon note of the poem. It interacts with the nuances or forces of feeling which determine emphasis on one word or another, and decides to a great extent what belongs to a given line. It relates the needs of that feeling-force which dominates the cadence to the needs of the surrounding parts and so to the whole.

Duncan also pointed to what is perhaps a variety of organic poetry: the poetry of linguistic impulse. It seems to me that the absorption in language itself, the awareness of the world of multiple meaning revealed in sound, word, syntax, and the entering into this world in the poem, is as much an experience or constellation of perceptions as the instress of nonverbal sen­suous and psychic events. What might make the poet of lin­guistic impetus appear to be on another tack entirely is that the demands of his realization may seem in opposition to truth as we think of it; that is, in terms of sensual logic. But the appar­ent distortion of experience in such a poem for the sake of verbal effects is actually a precise adherence to truth, since the experience itself was a verbal one.

Form is never more than a revelation of content.

“The law—one perception must immediately and directly lead to a further perception” (Edward Dahlberg, as quoted by Charles Olson in “Projective Verse,” Selected Writings). I’ve always taken this to mean, “no loading of the rifts with ore,” because there are to be no rifts. Yet alongside this truth is another truth (that I’ve learned from Duncan more than from anyone else)—that there must be a place in the poem for rifts too—(never to be stuffed with imported ore). Great gaps be­tween perception and perception which must be leapt across if they are to be crossed at all.

The X-factor, the magic, is when we come to those rifts and make those leaps. A religious devotion to the truth, to the splendor of the authentic, involves the writer in a process re­warding in itself; but when that devotion brings us to un­dreamed abysses and we find ourselves sailing slowly over them and landing on the other side—that’s ecstasy.

[biofunmy]

Social Climbing Has a Whole New Meaning

On a Friday evening last spring, Zack Woodruff picked up two college friends and drove seven hours down Interstate 65: through Indianapolis, bourbon country and the rolling hills of Appalachia.

In the middle of the night, they arrived at Miguel’s Pizza in Slade, Ky., and pitched tents in the backyard, near a gear shop that sells rock-climbing equipment. They were destined for the nearby Red River Gorge, a dramatic rocky cliff that Mr. Woodruff has explored eight or nine times.

But Mr. Woodruff, 28, a Ph.D. candidate in robotics at Northwestern University, lives in Chicago, so most of the time, he climbs at First Ascent, an indoor climbing gym with four locations in the city, where, he said, “a lot of grad students climb after work.”

Over the past five years, rock climbing has become a popular activity among young professionals and families, documented on social media and in films like “The Dawn Wall,” “Valley Uprising” and “Free Solo,” an Oscar winner that chronicled Alex Honnold’s ropeless ascent of El Capitan in Yosemite National Park.

In 2016, rock climbing was added to the 2020 Olympics. New climbing gyms are mushrooming like cycling studios before them, and U.S.A. Climbing, the competition circuit, signed a multiyear broadcast deal with ESPN in January.

Popular street wear brands have been mining “old-school climbing stuff” from North Face, Patagonia, Eddie Bauer and L.L. Bean for inspiration, according to Matthew Schonfeld, 27, a climber who lives in the Crown Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn and does marketing for Rowing Blazers.

“It’s a moment, you know?” said Jimmy Chin, 46, who directed “Free Solo” with his wife, Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi. “These moments happen when a bunch of different variables all line up.”

According to Climbing Business Journal, which tracks gym openings nationally, the commercial climbing gym industry grew at a rate of 6.9 percent in 2016, 10 percent in 2017 and 11.8 percent in 2018.

“It does seem like the growth of the gym industry is continuing to trend upward,” said John Burgman, 38, a journalist who writes Climbing Business Journal’s annual report and coaches a youth climbing team in Carmel, Ind.

Most rock gyms look equal parts Flintstone and Jetson; visiting one feels like landing on a Technicolor planet, or exploring a cave bedecked with Fruity Pebbles.

There are two types of indoor climbing walls: bouldering walls, which are low enough that climbers can leap (or tumble) onto the mats without getting hurt; and rope-climbing walls, which tower over the bouldering walls and require harnesses and rope. In the most well-known form of rope-climbing, “top-roping,” partners on the ground “belay,” or gather the slack as you climb higher, so you won’t fall too far if you slip. The sport has its own arcane terminology, with difficulty ratings like V5.

Young professionals flock to these playgrounds after work because the exercise is intense, unstructured and sociable; the gyms may be one of the last urban locales where talking to strangers is encouraged.

Engineers in particular seem to be attracted to the sport, because each “boulder problem” of holds is a three-dimensional puzzle, and gyms reset them monthly to keep things spicy. (As part of its corporate wellness program, Google installed a rock wall in its New York offices in Chelsea, in 2013. Its Bay Area and Los Angeles offices have rock walls, too.)

And for parents, climbing is part of the so-called free-range-kids movement — with proper supervision, of course, the antithesis of the dreaded screens.

“If you walked in and saw my itty-bitty 5-year-old, you’d be like, Oh my gosh! She goes high. She goes to the top, and she’ll rappel,” said Megan Novotney, 36, a yoga teacher whose 6-year-old triplets also partake, sometimes rappelling down together while holding hands.

“When they’re bouldering, they don’t climb anything higher than what they know they’re capable of getting down from, and that was really awesome because it translated over to the park too” Ms. Novotney said. “I trust them, and they trust their bodies.”

Rock Steady, Baby

Adults, of course, are also relishing the chance to unplug themselves, and those not partial to yoga’s chants and group movement may find a more individualist escape on the wall.

“It’s active, it’s good for you, you have to try hard, it makes you feel very present in the moment,” Mr. Chin said of yoga, “and I think climbing does a lot of those things. It’s one of those activities where you do actually need to put your phone down and you do actually have to be engaged, and for some reason it’s easy to have conversations and talk to people you don’t know when you’re climbing.”

“When you’re climbing,” he said, “there’s also a certain level of vulnerability, because you’re scared and you’re all having a shared experience, especially if you’re trying the same climb.”

Growing up in Mankato, Minn., he didn’t know climbing existed. When he started, 25 years ago, “climbing was a pretty fringe activity,” he said, “and it was usually kind of like the misfits, who couldn’t play ball sports, or weren’t great at team sports.”

These days, there is a climbing gym in nearly every major city. Corporations like Touchstone Climbing, El Cap, First Ascent and Brooklyn Boulders have plans to build more.

Sasha DiGiulian, 27, is a three-time United States National Champion climber who helped design a climber emoji and now hosts high-end climbing wellness retreats in Kalymnos, Greece.

There, groups of 16 to 20 — often millennials from Silicon Valley, San Francisco and New York City — shell out $3,500 for luxury accommodations, four days of climbing with Ms. DiGiulian and three guides, dinners of freshly caught fish and ouzo, and a rest day swimming with wild dolphins.

Her clients are “young professionals looking for an experience,” she said, and since it is tough to switch from gym climbing to outdoor climbing, she created the retreat to “facilitate people’s transition.”

Ms. DiGiulian believes that the climbing industry is expanding in tandem with boutique fitness, citing Brooklyn Boulders’ boutique fitness branch in Boston, BKBX, which combines rock climbing with high-intensity interval training (HIIT).

“They’re opening these boutique studios that are dedicated to optimizing your fitness in order to ‘train for your next adventure,’ is their slogan,” she said. “They’re not even the traditional sense of climbing, it’s climbing broken down into a fitness class. That definitely didn’t exist even five years ago.”

Harley Pasternak, who trains celebrities including Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian West and Gwyneth Paltrow, isn’t a fan of rock climbing. None of his clients do it, though climbing makes a few appearances in Goop.com’s travel pages.

“It’s really not a full-body workout,” Mr. Pasternak said, though many climbers argue otherwise. “Most of the muscles that people really need to strength-train — hamstrings, glutes, lower back, rhomboids, triceps — are not really worked during rock climbing. Rock climbing is mainly lats, forearms, quads and calves, so these are not going to contribute to better posture.”

Not to mention, he said, most people aren’t strong enough to hoist themselves up a wall without getting hurt.

“Keeping in mind the average American is significantly overweight, I would talk everyone I could out of rock climbing unless you are incredibly light, agile, fit and functional,” said Mr. Pasternak, 45. “There is a very small minority of this country that should be rock climbing.”

He pointed out that the British Journal of Sports Medicine tracked a 36 percent increase in rock climbing injuries from 2006 to 2015, 12 percent of which required hospitalization. Young men were most frequently injured.

Mr. Pasternak also pointed out the absurdity of humans constructing elaborate sheltered courses to challenge themselves

“That’s connecting with nature the same way that spinning in a room is connecting with nature,” he said. “They’re both contrived, artificial versions of the real thing without any connection to nature or the outdoors.”

Indoor climbing gyms can be expensive, especially in cities like New York and San Francisco. “Unless the commercial real-estate landscape changes, you can’t offer membership for less than $90” per month, said Michael Cesari, 39, the owner of Steep Rock Bouldering in New York. “It’s a bummer because when you go elsewhere, it’s not the case with indoor climbing.”

In other parts of the country, climbing has become so accessible that there are places that allow climbers to volunteer at the gym if they can’t afford a membership, like Memphis Rox in Tennessee, or YMCAs that offer it for free.

Polishing the Face

At Brooklyn Boulders, near one of the slanted bouldering walls — the shorter walls without ropes — a diverse group of young people were sitting on the mats and catching up on a recent Saturday while two dogs frolicked in the waiting area.

“We barely climb,” said Aaron Stack, a 30-year-old software engineer. “No one here actually likes climbing, we all just come here to hang out. The climbing is ancillary.” (He was joking: They’ve all been climbing for years, and have a weekly brunch after their workout.)

Unexpectedly, Saturday mornings are pretty quiet at Brooklyn Boulders and other gyms. Peak hours are weeknights after work, and the really serious climbers go in the morning before work.

Waiting patiently and considering courses has long been part of the indoor-climbing culture, and yet. “There’s always certain times when it’s crowded, but those crowded times have gotten more crowded,” said Michael Poyatt, 25, a software engineer in San Diego who started climbing after seeing “The Dawn Wall.”

Dan Bartz, 36, a founder of First Ascent in Chicago, said his company is trying to avoid crowding issues by opening new locations and requiring new members to attend orientation classes.

“I think there is the risk that you can have the longtime, established climbers and the newer climbers and there can be a tension between those two groups because the experienced climbers know how to behave in a climbing gym,” Mr. Bartz said. “They know where to stand, and they know how to share resources like routes or boulder problems.”

The majority of new climbers follow the rules, but some don’t. Mr. Stack witnessed an incident firsthand.

“One time, I saw these two people climbing, and it was their first time climbing, and it was on the overhung wall, and the one person fell and swung and knocked over the person belaying,” he said. “The one belaying stopped, took both of her hands off the rope, picked up her camera, and took a picture of her friend. There’s just been a huge influx of people with no clue what they’re doing.”

As a result, gyms have had to add extra safety programming; nearly all require climbers to sign a waiver and take a class before they can climb on their own.

In order to compete with the Equinoxes of the world, many climbing gyms offer weight rooms, cardio machines, yoga classes and Wi-Fi. Some are now also installing cafes and co-working spaces.

“Starbucks always talks about being people’s third place, and that’s really our goal too,” Mr. Bartz said. “People have home and they have work and we want to be that third place they go to and spend time connecting with people.”

Mr. Cesari likened the sport to snowboarding, whose addition to the Olympics, he pointed out, did not cause a lasting surge in popularity.

“For how many people will climbing be a lifelong sport, which they will then pass down to their kids? That’s the big question,” he said. “Of course people are going to change gyms, they’re going to move, but are they going to join another one? Or is it something that’s more of a temporary hobby?”

There is also a stereotype of the “boulder bro,” perhaps intermittently fasting to improve his agility, showing off his calluses, rocksplaining.

“If you want to climb really hard, you have to take your shirt off, and you have to wear a beanie,” Mr. Stack joked. “You also need a really big chalk bag, like twice this size, you leave it on the ground below you, preferably under where you’re climbing, so when you fall on it, it goes ‘poof!’ for dramatic effect.”

But in fact climbing is more diverse than ever. Brooke Raboutou, 18, made headlines earlier this year when she became the first American to qualify for the Olympics. “I would say that the climbing ratio of men to women is still about 60 percent to 40 percent,” Ms. DiGiulian said. “There are far more professional male climbers then there are professional female climbers, and I think the way climbing is changing, you are seeing a lot of people from different backgrounds getting into the sport and excelling.”

Though the sport is still overwhelmingly white, organizations like Brown Girls Climb, Melanin Base Camp, Brothers of Climbing and Color the Crag help climbers of color connect with one another.

Anna Marie Jennings, 23, met her closest friends in New York through Climb Like a Girl classes at Brooklyn Boulders. “Finding a group of women to climb with was really great because the gym is intimidating as it is, whether there’s all men around or all women around or whatever, just the nature of it can be overwhelming if you’re new,” she said. “It is very physical and people watch you, so that’s intimidating no matter who you’re around.”

“There are still times where I walk in and you’ll see, for lack of a better term, the bro-y guys muscle their way up a really hard boulder problem, and I may not be able to do it from strength,” she said. “But I might have more flexibility or balance.”

Ms. DiGiulian has been a pioneer for women in the sport, and grew up climbing the Red River Gorge, where Mr. Woodruff and his friends camped in Kentucky. A high point of her career was achieving a climb there called Pure Imagination, one of the hardest to be finished by a woman.

This “used to be one of the poorest districts within Kentucky, and now it’s blooming with business,” she said. “When I started going to Miguel’s, it used to be a little ice cream stand. Now I’ll be in countries like France and Spain and see someone wearing a Miguel’s Pizza Shop T-shirt.”

Dario Ventura, 35, the co-owner and manager of Miguel’s, said that since his father Miguel went into business 35 years ago, foot traffic has grown “exponentially.”

To adapt, Miguel’s Pizza renovated its kitchen and country-store restaurant, tripled the size of its campsite, and now employs a staff of 42 mostly transient climbers, many of whom live out of vans, like Alex Honnold in “Free Solo.”

The local community in Slade has also adapted. Nowadays, Mr. Ventura said, there are three search-and-rescue teams that respond to calls in the Red River Gorge, where previously, there weren’t any. “The whole area has grown too, there’s a ton of restaurants now, there’s a ton of campsites to compete, and we’re all full every weekend,” he said. “It’s a really healthy environment.”

However, the gorge has been subject to littering and crag erosion from the crowds. There have been efforts by the Access Fund, a nonprofit climbing organization, to maintain the bolts in the rocks so they don’t wear down from overuse and pop out dangerously while climbers are on the rocks.

Mr. Ventura marveled at all this activity. “For so many years, you got into rock climbing because you had some crazy uncle that took you out, but with climbing gyms being so accessible and everywhere now, there’s this giant funnel of people that are getting into climbing in urban areas and come here on the weekends,” he said.

And yet “I’ve heard some numbers where something like 10 percent of all people that climb in a climbing gym actually go climbing outside. Which is mind-boggling to me.”

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ENVR 2000: Blog 2

Part 1. Question

Describe 3 challenges and 3 opportunities that you see in the Slow Movement. Do you want to slow some aspect(s) of your life? If so, what concrete steps can you take to achieve this?

           Some challenges that I see in the Slow Movement are adapting to a different lifestyle, relating to others and independency. Adapting a new lifestyle is, without a doubt, an extremely difficult thing to do. In Carl Honoré’s podcast episode “Welcome to New Slow City”, guest William Powers talks about his new lifestyle changes from a fast-paced life to a gradual minimalistic approach to doing things. He mentions how moving into a small apartment was difficult to get used to, especially since he kept bumping into his wife in the kitchen! Most people wouldn’t even dream of downsizing, let alone completely changing one’s lifestyle. Another challenge would be relating to others. In our society's efficient fast-paced culture, I think it would be difficult to keep up with other people when taking part in the Slow Movement. Everybody else would be moving on to  different phases in their lives and it would be hard to keep up with others. With that being said, it would also be lonely as you would be the only one taking things slow and no one would understand what you are going through. Another challenge would be finding independency. For many, days are just routines, being driven by the same things every single day. When left to take things slow, a sense of feeling lost and not knowing what to do could occur. For example, during my first few months of university I found it hard to be independent because I was used to being told what to do in high school. I was doing things because I was being constantly told to do them. Now, I have more time to myself and I have to find my own motivation to do things. Like William Powers said, at first it is lonely and you have a lot of time to yourself.

        On the other hand, 3 opportunities in the Slow Movement would be appreciating your environment, learning about yourself and finding your own pace in life. With having more time to reflect on things, appreciating the environment as well as the people around you is beneficial to your health and overall happiness. Appreciation helps develop strong relationships with others and nature, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life (at least in my opinion!). Learning about yourself and the things you are capable of is also a great result from partaking in the Slow Movement. Although isolation and loneliness is hard, it does give you the time to concentrate on yourself. In modern society, it is easy to neglect yourself in pursuit of completing daily routines. With the time to reflect, you could learn more qualities about yourself, which could lead to being a better version of yourself. Finally, finding your own pace in life is a very important opportunity the Slow Movement grants you. The majority of people do not have the luxury of being able to do things their way. This often leads to anxiety and feeling like a failure. However, if people could just slow down and do things the way they want to, the feeling of pressure would go away. 

     For me personally, I want to slow down as well, but like I said before, it’s not possible for me. In my parent’s culture, education is very important, therefore finishing school is a top priority. However, I would like some time for myself to travel and eat exotic food! Although I can’t change that aspect in my life, I could follow the steps of William Powers and take less shifts at work to just relax. All in all, I could try the Slow Movement, but I’m not sure if I could do it (at least not now!).

Part 2. Action

a. Jack Frost Challenge

What activity did you participate in?

           For the Jack Frost challenge, I volunteered at the Festival du voyageur. Along with my friend, we were in charge of supervising games such as large-sized Jenga Beer pong (except there was no alcohol in the big buckets!). After our shift, we visited a couple of tents to listen to music. Unfortunately, my phone died early in the evening so I was only able to take one goofy photo of my friend:

Overall, it was a fun night! 

          2.     What effect did participating in the activity have on you?

                  Participating in the activity had positive effects on me. After spending hours outside, I gained deep respect for the voyageurs who spent the majority of their lives outdoors. I started to appreciate their French-Canadian culture more and more as the night went on. Despite the cold weather, I found it to be tolerable as there were warming stations that resembled bonfires around the park.

        3.    What would have made the experience better?            

               Personally, I think the experience was wonderful. If there was one thing I had to change it would be the duration of the experience. I wish we stayed longer to visit more tents, but other than that I'd say it was a good time.

         4.    What other outdoor winter activities would you be interested in                                                                          participating in?

                Other outdoor winter activities I would be interesting in participating in would be skating on the Red River Trail. I love skating but due to my schedule I find it difficult to squeeze time for a couple of hours on ice. Another activity I would participate in is skiing downhill. I have been skiing before in Aesessippi, and I loved it!

b. Investigate the chemicals in your personal care products

    I arranged my table by having 4 columns: “Product” contains the names of the care products I use, “concerns” includes ingredients in the product that are considered hazardous with scores of 7 or higher, “cancer” shows the level of carcinogenic effects and finally the “overall score”, which indicates its level of danger or hazard as a whole product.

     I was shocked to learn about the dangerous health hazards found in the products I use, especially the ones causing cancer. It puts into perspective how we as consumers just buy things off the shelf without understand the dangers. 

c. Purchases for one week

    Grading criteria for purchases:

Good: local, small business, sustainable, reasonably priced, healthy

Bad: foreign, corporate, produces a lot of waste, unreasonably priced, unhealthy

Ugly: Not completely good, yet not bad either (contains some characteristics from both bad and good)

     For my analysis of purchases for one week, during this particular week (March 5-11) I ended up buying only one thing! I regularly bring lunches from home to school and I still live with my parents, hence the lack of purchases. I do not really need to spend unless I go out with my friends, but in this case I stayed at home for the most part.

      So for my only purchase of the week, I bought a sub from Subway. I classified it as “bad” as it fit most of the characteristics of a “bad purchase”. Subway is an American corporate company. As listed in the criteria for bad, it is foreign and a small business. Additionally, it produces quite a bit of waste, with the wrapper, tissues and plastic bag. Despite this purchase being in the “bad” category, it does have a few good aspects. In terms of sustainability, according to Subway’s website, their social responsibility includes sustainable sourcing. It says, “...we not only help reduce energy, water usage and waste but we’re taking care of the environment too.” Sustainability fits in with the “good” criteria. Furthermore, I believe that it is somewhat reasonably priced for its value, as well as it being “healthy”. 

     I think I am in a good spot for now in terms of purchases. The only thing I would like to change would be impulse buying food when I could have just brought a lunch. However, I do try my best to not buy food unless I have to!

d. Investigate the options and end fate of your household’s e-waste

    In regards to the e-waste in my household, instead of throwing electronics away, I’ll try to sell them. By doing so, I would be giving something I do not need anymore to someone who does. Often times, it is easy to sell products     online so I don't think e-waste would be an issue. Generally speaking, in my household we don't quickly throw electronics away because we tend to use them for a long time. However, if I can't sell my electronics, I would dispose of them at the Brady Landfill located on Pembina Highway. This option is not ideal for me (assuming I still live in my house by the time I need to throw away my electronic device), as the Brady Landfill is far from my area.

    Concerning future purchases, I am happy to say that I rarely purchase any electronics to begin with so I will continue to only purchase things if I need to. For example, if my laptop is broken beyond repair, that will be the only time I will buy a new laptop. If that is not an option, I will try to buy a second hand laptop. Not only will it be cost less, but I would be able to stop it from going to the landfill!

Part 3. In-Class Blog Questions

Zoos

     a.  What role, if any, should zoos play in conservation/education?

          Personally, I think zoos should play a role in both conservation and education, as they are capable of contributing to both. Zoos already contribute to conservation in terms of rescuing orphaned or injured animals and providing them with food, shelter and the proper medical attention. Conservation is no easy task but zoos have been able to take care of at-risk animals (for the most part). Evidently, zoos are not perfect and they can endanger animals with harmful practices, but if they employed proper research into the zoo animals and facilities, I believe that zoos could be very beneficial for everyone.

          Education-wise, zoos could host events showcasing each animal in the zoo or have more programs that teach people about the animals. By doing so, zoos could eliminate certain stigmas associated with an animal. Additionally, I think more interactive educational programs like tours are far more engaging than just reading off a sign describing the animal. All in all, I think zoos definitely have the potential to help with conservation and education.

      b. Is it ethical to keep animals in zoos? If so, what type/size of animal or zoos?

          I don't think it is ethical to keep animals in zoos, with the exception of orphaned or critically injured animals. I think animals should be able to live in their natural habitats and not be taken by humans to be used for what is essentially entertainment. Zoos do provide educational and conservational features, but it should not have to come at the cost of forcefully taking animals from their home. However, I do believe that if the animal was orphaned, abandoned or critically injured, zoos could help in those aspects. On the other hand, I think zoos could treat animals more ethically if there were little to no enclosures for the animals, and they are able to have more freedom. For example, the Lehe Ledu Wildlife Zoo in Chongqing City in China  lets the animals (in this case lions) roam-free and people are driven through zoo in cages.

 (”People pay to be locked in cages, stalked by lions”, photo taken from https://nypost.com/2015/01/05/people-pay-to-be-locked-in-cages-stalked-by-lions/)

        Although this is more extreme, it is better for the animals as they are still in their natural habitat. With that being said, I think an ethical zoo should provide the animal with the correct care (the space they need, the food they require, etc.). However, this is unrealistic for some zoos as it would be extremely expensive to fulfill these requirements with little financial means.

    c. Do you enjoy visiting zoos?

        I really enjoy visiting zoos, but I know it is wrong to get amusement from seeing the animals that may be stressed in the limited space they have in their enclosures. I feel conflicted because on one hand I love seeing the animals and observing how they interact with their environment but on the other I believe they should be in their own natural habitat. I want to say I fully enjoy visiting the zoo, but the truth always sits at the back of my mind.

Food System

    a. What do you like about it?        

        One aspect I like about my food system is the accessibility of products. It is fairly easy for me to pick up whatever I need from one of the numerous grocery stores near my house. By having readily available products nearby, I find that it eliminates the amount of time spent deciding on what to have for dinner and if the store has the foreign ingredients required.

        Finding specific ingredients for dishes in my household is often a challenge as they are considered as "ethnic cuisine". Our meals are typical dishes derived from my parents' country. The recipes usually include vegetables foreign to Canada so being able to access them at a grocery store like Young's Market allows my family to keep our cultural ties strong. In other words, familiarity.

    b. What do you dislike about it?

        The main thing I dislike about my food system is the environmental impacts it has. Most accessible food products are imported from different places. The transportation process is detrimental as more greenhouse gases are being emitted from the big semi-trucks, airplanes, trains and other vehicles used to get the products to a grocery store. However, imported goods are better suited for my family, in terms of convenience and affordability. As much as I'd like to support local homegrown foods, it is difficult to do so in my area (the north-end) as there are no farmer's markets nearby and often times, local food is also more expensive.

       Another issue in my food system is the extreme amount of waste created. Imported goods are usually packaged with materials that are unrecyclable, and must be thrown into the garbage. My family tries to recycle whenever we can, but our bad waste disposal habits outweigh the good waste disposal habits. We have also looked into composting some of our food waste, but there are no composting services nearby so this proves to be difficult for my family and I.

Oceans

     a. What are your primary concerns about the oceans?

         One of my primary concerns about the oceans is the amount of garbage being discarded in them. The pollution found in oceans is a pressing problem as it affects many things. The most heavily affected are aquatic animals. Organisms from fishes to birds ingest great amounts of garbage, often mistaking them for food.

(”Have Some Fish With Your Plastic”, photo taken from https://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-reese-halter/have-some-fish-with-your_b_5597726.html)

      According to EcoWatch, "44 percent of all seabird species, 22 percent of cetaceans, all sea turtle species and a growing list of fish species have been documented with plastic in or around their bodies.". This poses a big threat to biodiversity and the environment, as with the loss of certain keystone species due to dying from toxins in plastics, food webs would collapse.  Additionally, from an anthropocentric view, this harms humans as well as we eat animals from the ocean. Based on Biomagnification and bioaccumulation, we are most at risk as we amongst  one of the predators at high trophic levels. The toxicity from the fish we ingested causes a lot of harm and affects in the long run. 

(”The Ultimate Great Pacific Garbage Patch Quiz”, photo taken from http://quizzes.howstuffworks.com/quiz/great-pacific-garbage-patch-quiz)

Another concern is simply the sight of garbage floating around. I honestly find it difficult to look at as it destroys the beautiful imagery of nature.

      b. What, if anything, do you plan to do about it?

          To  help with my concerns about the ocean, one thing I could do is reduce my usage of plastic. Plastic accounts for 90% of all trash found in the ocean (EcoWatch, 2014). With that being said, by reusing more plastic products and using items like mason jars for storage, I could reduce my own wastes that would usually go in the ocean. However, I could take this a step further and encourage the people around me to be more conscious of their  plastic disposal. Even if I'm able to reduce plastic waste in my household, it does make a difference, regardless of how small it is!

Bibliography:

Perez, Chris. “People Pay to Be Locked in Cages, Stalked by Lions.” New York Post, New York Post, 5 Jan. 2015, nypost.com/2015/01/05/people-pay-to-be-locked-in-cages-stalked-by-lions/.

“22 Facts About Plastic Pollution (And 10 Things We Can Do About It).” EcoWatch, 22 Mar. 2018, www.ecowatch.com/22-facts-about-plastic-pollution-and-10-things-we-can-do-about-it-1881885971.html.

Halter, Dr. Reese. “Have Some Fish With Your Plastic.” The Huffington Post, TheHuffingtonPost.com, 7 Dec. 2017, www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-reese-halter/have-some-fish-with-your_b_5597726.html.

“The Ultimate Great Pacific Garbage Patch Quiz.” Right Now in Quizzes, 3 Dec. 2015, quizzes.howstuffworks.com/quiz/great-pacific-garbage-patch-quiz.

“Social Responsibility.” Social Responsibility | SUBWAY.com - Canada (English), www.subway.com/en-ca/aboutus/socialresponsibility.

“Welcome to New Slow City”, Carl Honorê, Carl Honoré, http://www.carlhonore.com/unlock-slow/podcasts/

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How to Encourage Children in Sports

New Post has been published on https://darbi.org/how-to-encourage-children-in-sports/

How to Encourage Children in Sports

Sports can be more than only an approach to take a break after school and on ends of the week. As per the site Kids, Wellbeing from Nemours, regular exercise can help children fortify bones and muscles, get a sound rest and decrease the danger of stoutness and medical issues, for example, Sort 2 diabetes. Partaking in sports can likewise help self-regard and enhance social abilities. Encourage your child’s enthusiasm for games to help guarantee that the experience is a positive one.

The significance of action in youthful children ought not to be denied, and sports offer a brilliant possibility for your young one to be dynamic as well as to take part in a gathering domain; your encouragement can be an awesome help to your child around there, yet it can be hard to know exactly how to approach conveying that encouragement. Some ways you can encourage your child to take an interest in sports are to locate the correct one for your child, take part as well as can be expected with your child in his or her picked movement, and bolster your child with toys coordinated toward that sport or others that will permit them to invest more energy with that action.

Distinctive children are suited to various sports, and perceiving which sport will be best for your little one can be troublesome; however with the quantity of various sports that exist there is something for everybody, and getting your child required in a wide range of sports from a youthful age can help her to find which she appreciates the most. As much as you are capable, you should assist with your child’s sports – if you don’t think about it, attempt to find out about it, and your help can compensate for both you and your child. Your interest will set aside a few minutes and encourage him to be both dynamic and included and will fabricate a thankfulness for exercise that will prove to be useful further down the road.

When purchasing toys, in the event that you remember the particular sporting movement your child appreciates, you can encourage a sound view for sports as well as guarantee that your child has more opportunity to play, rehearse, and for the most part make the most of his particular range of intrigue – not exclusively would you be able to get them hardware for a particular action, you can likewise purchase toys that loan themselves to specific sports just using them; for example, if a sport includes tossing and getting, there are many toys and diversions that are not a particular sport but rather in which your child can hone either (or both) even without anyone else’s input.

It is likewise fundamental that you ensure your child is the correct age for whatever toy you are purchasing – consider what level of supervision may be required, and additionally what level of ability is required for whatever you might purchase, and you will have the capacity to guarantee the happiness and wellbeing of your child to a greatly improved degree.

Finding what your little one appreciates might be troublesome, yet it can be extremely fulfilling, and will guarantee not just a pleasure for you and your child, additionally an extraordinary outlet for vitality and work out, and an awesome way to your child’s wellbeing by giving an establishment to the significance of activity in your child’s life.

Motivating Your Children to Practice and Play Hard

Knowing how your child thinks and feels is critical to offering them encouragement. Regardless of whether you’re spurring them to hone a sport or to do homework, it’s vital to know their qualities, shortcomings, propensities, and wishes.

Demonstrate your child that you regard how they think and what they need and that you need to set aside the opportunity to tune into how they feel.

Ask them what, assuming any, sports they’d get a kick out of the chance to play and what desires they have. Attempt to comprehend what they need to escape any movement.

Your child may state, “I need to be the best b-ball player that at any point played the amusement,” and your response ought to surely be sure. While it’s best to abstain from thumping them around disclosing to them their objectives are incomprehensible, attempt to underline how buckling down for something is something worth being thankful for in itself.

Reveal to them that the exertion they put in and the fun they have at the same time is important only for their purpose.

Being physically dynamic yourself is the most direct method for encouraging your child to esteem honing a sport and being dynamic all in all. You’re your child that everybody, from children to grown-ups, needs to continue accomplishing something, again and again, to wind up distinctly effective. Notwithstanding driving with your activities, clarify how every muscle and each ability should be worked out.

Dealing with Achievement and Failure on the Sports Field

It’s surely not an awful thing to be thrilled if your child scores a triumphant objective. In any case, win or lose, there are sure things you ought to dependably say previously, then after the fact and amusement.

Before any amusement, tell your child, “Have a fabulous time, play hard, and I adore you.”

After any diversion, ask your child, “Did you have some good times?” and say, “I’m glad for you, and I adore you.”

Remind them how energized you each time you get a possibility just to see them in uniform or a cluster.

Stress your child’s exertion, regardless of whether they won or lost. For instance, you may state something as “You made an extraordinary showing with regards to of supporting your colleagues out there today. I am pleased with how you played the diversion.”

Attempt to help your child reframe the circumstance when they encounter a misfortune. For instance, you may state, “I know it’s frustrating not to win, but rather you’re passing was magnificent! You’ve worked so hard on it, and I can see your change.”

Regardless of the possibility that your child buckles down at something, they will confront snags in any sport, whether they haven’t made the group or endured an unbalanced thrashing. Set up your child by advising them that everybody has their opportunity to sparkle, and it’s alright that today wasn’t their day.

On the off chance that your child is occupied with sport yet doesn’t make the group, attempt to keep them locked in. Keep on practicing with them, search for an instructional or less aggressive alliance, discover a sports camp, and encourage them to experiment with one year from now.

Remind them to keep things in context, and that not making the group doesn’t characterize their identity or how pleased you are with them only to try.

Being basic and separating where the amusement turned out badly isn’t useful. Rather, take a stab at concentrating on what your child did accurately, what abilities you saw while they were on the field, and on highlighting any particularly fun minutes, you took note. Focusing on inspiration and fun parts of the diversion will encourage spur your child to give it their everything again next time, paying little respect to whether they win or lose.

Regardless of whether it’s an individual or group activity, your child has a mentor. Give them a chance to give the last talk and be basic.

Your child will require you to help them make the misfortune less demanding to deal with. Kids regularly experience difficulty isolating an unfavorable occasion from their character: they think the misfortune characterizes their identity.

Ensure they know how glad you are to them win or lose, and give them friendship and consideration. It’s best not to give your child a chance to be separated from everyone else after losing, and attempt to converse with them or keep them talking. Being quiet may show that you’re distraught at them, and an excessive amount of alone time may make them abide.

Encouraging Children for Healthy Competition

When going to a group sporting occasion or practice, be a supporter of the whole group. Abstain from encouraging destructive rivalry among the players, and don’t undermine the mentor’s guidelines. You would prefer not to make your child, or different children believe it’s alright to treat each other with disregard or to undermine the mentor’s power.

At whatever point another child scores an objective or makes an excellent play, cheer for them similarly as you would your child.

Attempt to speak with different guardians about being an extraordinary emotionally supportive network for every one of the children in the group: make a solid group and family environment.

Keep in mind that sports are for having a fabulous time, creating self-regard, social abilities, and a feeling of the group. Encourage your child to be focused and need to endeavor to enhance capacities, yet not for the result of winning alone. Help them to set and characterize objectives with the end goal of building up their feeling of self and helping them to take pride in their achievements. Help them comprehend that it’s inappropriate to utilize intensity or to be awesome at something as methods for putting others down.

Tell them how vital you think it is to help someone else chip away at a specific undertaking once you’ve aced that errand. Give them a case of how you turned out to be great at something, then set aside the opportunity to impart that ability to someone else.

Notices

Abstain from getting to be distinctly exuberant when supporting your child’s athletic attempts. Be a decent good example by responding to a child’s annihilation and triumphs effortlessly, demonstrating regard for mentors and umpires and being gracious to the contenders and their folks.

Tips

Shield your children from getting to be overpowered with sports or rivalry. Adjust games with school and non-athletic pastimes. Permit your child to stop the sport if he feels focused on, fears practices and diversions, or says he’s just taking an interest in making you glad.

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