#so i was anxious the whole time. praying to the Car Gods

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Driving is exhausting

[hajoon-iz-won]

Magnetic Force of a Man

smut 18+ mdni

Pairing: ceo!Jay x worker!Y/N

"Do you know why I require all of my assistants to have Masters degrees?” he asked as he stood up and began to walk slowly around his desk.

"It's because I find educated women incredibly sexy," he said softly, leaning down close to my ear.

Warnings: smut, 18+, MDNI, dom!Jay, impregnation, dirty talk, fingering, pussy fucking, female masturbation, age gap (4 years), exhibitionism, breeding, unprotected sex, creampie

Word Count: 5.4k

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!” I cursed as I stared down at the tear in my brand new sheer pantyhose. "Run-proof my ass! "

Shaking my head in dismay, I quickly looked around the large underground parking garage, praying to God that no one could see or hear me as I hurriedly positioned myself between my front door and the driver's seat of my beige sedan, hiking my lavender pencil skirt up to my ass, and then slid the ruined pair of hose the rest of the way down my legs.

Thankfully, I packed an extra pair!

I sat down on the side of the car seat and removed my violet high heels, almost like I was pulling out the replacements, taking them from the packing and quickly began slipping my feet inside.

The voice of a man said abruptly, "Yes, that's right."

My breath caught in my throat, I paused and turned to see the source of the voice. I was stunned by what I saw and halted abruptly, my new pantyhose halfway up my legs.

He had a great appearance. He was sitting at least fifty feet away from me, yet I could still see the platinum shine of his watch as he raised his left arm to check the time. He was dressed elegantly in a navy blue suit. His shiny black low-cut hair must have reached at least five eleven" in height.

With a dark satchel clasped in his right hand, he confidently walked towards the elevator labeled "PRIVATE." His broad shoulders, confident gait, and commanding presence evoked the image of a male model seen in GQ publications. His whole demeanor was confident.

I could tell that he was chatting to someone else and not about me or my pantyhose dilemma when a blue light blinked next to his ear. He never even gave me a sidelong glance.

I eventually snapped back to reality as he slid behind one of the pillars and finished pulling on my pantyhose. I tucked my skirt in and put my stilettos back on, eager to begin my first day of training as an executive assistant for Park Industries within the enormous, imposing Park Business building. (It seems the corporation required more than one because it was so large.)

I'd never seen or heard of Jay Park, the CEO of the company, before applying for this job. Even though I had looked him up online, all the pictures I could find of him included him wearing dark sunglasses and hats, which made me think he was probably a very secretive person. It appeared that he would much rather maintain a very low profile than be in the spotlight.

Nothing could have prepared me for the day I visited the Park Building for the first time, even though I had finished an internship at a Fortune 500 corporation close to my college campus.

My first interview had been with a woman named Son Eunsaem. She'd had a highly professional appearance and a no-nonsense attitude. She hadn't smiled once during the interview.

I was surprised when I got a call back for a second interview. That was where I met the other executive assistants. Park Industries had an executive assistant for each and every department in the company, and I had applied to the marketing department.

And I started working on the actual job today. At nine o'clock, I had my official orientation meeting, and then I was meant to meet with Jay Park, the company's CEO.

On their first day of work, all new hires were required to meet with the CEO, who was said to like having face-to-face meetings with each and every one of his staff members. I'll admit that I was anxious, but I was also interested to see this billionaire's true appearance.

The thirty-story building housed the marketing department on its twenty-fifth floor. At the orientation, there was another new hire in addition to me. Ryu Hanbin was his name, and he had been employed in the software department.

At orientation, our ID cards were issued to each of us. We were granted entry to the elevators, break facilities, and exits reserved for employees only. My heart started to race inside my chest as the orientation was coming to a conclusion.

Hanbin and I were taken to a private employee elevator and showed how to use our ID cards to operate it. Jay Park's office was on the top floor, and that's where our orientation leader, a middle-aged woman named Won Chaerin, led us up.

As the elevator door opened at the pinnacle floor, we had been greeted with the aid of using a short, stout, but very neat and well-groomed bald guy with a cleanly-shaven face in a vibrant purple pantsuit.

"Welcome to Park Land,” he stated with a welcoming grin as he reached out to shake our hands. "That's what we name the pinnacle floor, right here." He appeared to laugh after each sentence he spoke. “My call is Jinyoung, however all of us right here calls me Jin.” Another laugh.

What a unusual guy, I thought.

He led us down a hallway that ended with a reception table and a small living room area. There had been high-returned black leather-based chairs and a large flat-display tv withinside the ready area. There additionally regarded to be a bar of a few kind in the back of the reception table.

"Y'all can simply make yourselves comfortable whilst I allow Mr. Park recognize you are right here,” he instructed us with every other laugh earlier than sashaying returned to his spot in the back of the reception table.

"Thank you,” I instructed him as I took a seat in one of the leather-based chairs and crossed my legs.

As I sat ready, my heart commenced to overcome so rapid that it felt like it'd leap up out of my throat at any second. A stolen look over at Hanbin noticed his foot nervously tapping in opposition to the carpeted floor, and I felt relieved that I wasn't the simplest worried individual withinside the room.

A second later, the telephone on Jin's table rang, and he spoke back it on speaker.

"Send Ms. Y/L/N in first,” the voice said in a deep, authoritative tone.

"Right away, sir," Jin answered as he glanced over towards me.

I stood up and accompanied him down but every other lengthy hallway, with stylish artwork lining the partitions and porcelain statues each few feet.

At the quit of the hall, there has been a fancy-searching door with a platinum door knob.

"Knock, knock,” Jin said in a singsong-like voice as he knocked on it twice before turning the knob and pushing it open. “Ms. Y/L/N, meet Mr. Jay Park.”

He waited for me to step inside the large, elaborately decorated office before shutting the door behind me.

I stood there, with my back to the door and my orientation folder in my hand, not sure what to do next. Mr. Park had his head down and was doing something on his phone, but as soon as the door closed, he looked directly up at me, and my jaw almost hit the floor in utter awe.

Jay Park was none other than the sexy, model-esque man who'd been walking through the employee parking garage earlier.

I knew I was staring, but I didn't care. The man was a real-life Adonis.

"It's nice to meet you, Ms. Y/L/N. Come. Have a seat.”

It was more of an order than a request, but I didn't mind. He had the most hypnotizing pair of eyes. They were a deep, dark br, and I felt as if I could get lost in them if I stared too long.

He didn't smile, but he didn't frown. He was eyeing me curiously as I made my way over to the chair in front of his huge, rectangular desk. I felt as if he was sizing me up for something... something other than just this job position.

"So, Ms. Y/L/N, you are twenty-four and you have an MS in Business Management. Impressive. What are your plans in the next five years?”

I felt completely on the spot. I cleared my throat before speaking.

"Well, I'm hoping to be working a job I love, maybe get promoted, and start moving up in the ranks."

"Hmm," he said quietly.

I leaned forward a bit and noticed that he had a folder open with my resume, cover letter, and some photos of me inside.

"Do you know why I require all of my assistants to have Masters degrees?” he asked as he stood up and began to walk slowly around his desk.

My heart sped up and began to beat harder than ever. He had removed his suit jacket, and his white silk shirt hugged his toned upper body with flair, accenting the broadness of his shoulders.

I shook my head and swallowed hard as my body temperature began to rise. No man had ever had such a profound effect on me. I could actually feel heat starting to build within my core and a noticeable tingling between my thighs.

He walked around to the back of my chair and stood behind me. My heart was beating a billion beats per minute.

"It's because I find educated women incredibly sexy," he said softly, leaning down close to my ear.

I shuddered at the feel of his breath against my lobe. My body was completely on fire for this man, and he hadn't even touched me. I was at a loss for words.

I wanted to glance up at him, but I was frozen in place like a stone statue, and all I could do was sit there facing forward as I waited to see what was going to happen next. From behind me, I heard him inhale deeply and then exhale slowly.

“Ahh, your perfume is intoxicating, but I sense something else about you, Ms. Y/L/N. You are in your prime,” he stated sensuously, his voice barely more than a whisper.

His lips were so close to my neck that his breath felt hot against my skin. It caused a shiver to run down my spine, and I had to muster every ounce of strength to keep a moan from escaping my lips.

Then, suddenly, he stood straight up and walked back around to the other side of his desk, and his demeanor had returned to a strictly professional one.

"Mrs. Son was quite impressed with you and spoke very highly of your interview," he said plainly as he sat back down in his chair.

"Really? Wow," I replied.

"You sound surprised," he said with a slight grin. "I know she can come across as somewhat ‘rigid, but it's all just part of how she does her job. She's extremely professional and would make an excellent poker player, no doubt.”

He chuckled slightly at his comment, and I uttered a small giggle as well.

"Well, I'm certain you'll be a definite asset to Park Industries, Ms. Y/L/N. Welcome to the team,” he said with a smile.

His smile revealed a set of the most perfect pearly whites I had ever seen up close. While staring at them, I almost missed the fact that he'd also extended his hand to me.

"Thank you, Mr. Park,” I said nervously, returning his smile with one of my own.

"You have a lovely smile, Ms. Y/L/N," he stated softly, still holding onto my hand after I'd stopped shaking it.

“Thanks,” I said coyly, tearing my eyes away from his before I became completely lost in them.

He ran his thumb slowly across the side of my hand before finally letting it go. That small, simple touch from him only added more fuel to the fire that was already building in my loins.

“Ms. Y/L/N? ”He called out to me just as I was about to leave his office.

"Yes?" I replied, turning around to look at him one more time.

"I'm having a small meeting this evening at the Italy Garden restaurant. The dress code is semi-formal. Can you be ready by 7:00?”

"Uhh, yes. Certainly, Mr. Park,” I replied, caught completely off guard.

"Great. I'll send a car to your place at 7:00, then.”

I left his office feeling flustered in more ways than one. It had been more than a year since I'd last had sex, and my attraction to Mr. Park was anything but subtle. He had a magnetic effect on me, one that I knew I was incapable of fighting.

I walked swiftly down the hall, past the small lounge where Hanbin was still seated, and into the ladies' restroom directly adjacent to Jin's reception desk. Breathing hard, I went into one of the stalls, set my folder down on the back of the commode, hiked my skirt up to my waist, and yanked my pants down to my thighs.

Panting like an animal in heat, I sat down on the seat and spread my legs.

"Mmm," I muttered as I closed my eyes and placed my right hand on the crotch of my thin satin pants.

Yanking my pants to the side, I exposed my moist, partially-swollen bud and began to massage it. Another moan escaped my lips as I bucked my hips and rubbed my pussy faster and harder.

I imagined that Mr. Park was in the bathroom stall with me and that he had pulled my pants to the side. It was his lips and tongue against my throbbing, swollen bulb, causing sighs and moans of delight to escape my mouth and sending me into a frenzy of pleasure.

“Ohhh,” I murmured softly as I pictured him rubbing the head of his hard, pulsating cock against my slick, hot slit.

I imagined his hands grabbing my ass cheeks and squeezing them hard in a fit of primal, uncontrollable passion. I pictured him entering me slowly at first, until his rock-hard dick was deep inside my pussy, stretching me to the limit.

"Fuuuck," I whispered as I plunged my fingers as deep into my warm, wet tunnel as they would go. "Yesss! Fuck me, Mr. Park!"

I imagined his cock moving in and out of me, faster and harder, fucking like wild animals as we both got closer and closer to our climaxes. Completely and totally engulfed in how unbelievably good the sex felt, neither one of us even cared that we were fucking unprotected.

"I want you to cum inside me, Mr. Park,” I imagined telling him. “Oh fuck, yessss! Cum in my pussy! Fill me up with your cum."

I didn't even care if I got pregnant or not; I just needed to feel his hot cum inside of me.

I was right on the brink of my orgasm, and I could already tell it was going to be a really good one. As I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from crying out in pleasure, I pictured myself biting down on Mr. Park's ear to stifle my passion-filled moans.

My legs began to shake, and my hips bucked uncontrollably as a powerful climax wracked my entire body. I imagined Mr. Park squeezing my ass cheeks hard as his cock squirted into my cunt, filling me to the brim.

"Ohhh," I whispered, uttering a sigh of satisfaction as my orgasm began to wane.

After taking a moment to enjoy the afterglow, I quickly cleaned myself up, left the restroom, and headed back down to the 25th floor to finish out my workday.

I had just finished putting on my makeup when I noticed it was 6:45. The dress I had selected for tonight's meeting was a long, form-fitting silver cocktail gown I'd bought last spring. It was elegant, with a touch of sex appeal. The back dipped below the waist, and the front wrapped around the neck.

At 6:54, I heard a horn blow outside of my apartment. I slid into a pair of silver stiletto sandals, grabbed a small silver purse, and headed outside.

"Wow!" I exclaimed when I saw the pearly white stretch limousine waiting at the curb.

A tuxedo-clad chauffer opened my door for me and helped me into the back seat.

The inside of the limousine was immaculate! There was a fully-stocked bar with liquor, wine, and champagne. There were wine glasses on a glass shelf next to the bar. There was also a small fridge with fruits, cheeses, and other exotic-looking snack foods.

I helped myself to a glass of champagne and turned on the satellite radio to listen to on the way to the restaurant.

When we arrived about twenty minutes later, the chauffeur helped me out of the limo, and I walked inside. An older male host in a black and white suit was standing at a podium near the entrance.

"Good evening, Madam. Welcome to the Italy Garden restaurant. Do you have a reservation?” he asked.

“Umm, yes. My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I'm here for a dinner meeting with Mr. Jay Park,” I replied anxiously, trying hard to hide how nervous I truly was.

The five-star dining facility was way out of my league and price range. I had never been in a place so upscale and fancy. There were scores of expensive-looking pictures hanging on the walls and exquisite artifacts and statues in and around the corners.

I followed the host to a luxurious VIP balcony area where Jay Park was already seated and waiting for me.

"You look amazing, Ms. Y/L/N," he said, flashing that billion-dollar smile that made me want to melt right where I stood.

"Thank you," I replied shyly, returning a smile his way.

The host pulled out my chair, and I sat down.

"I've taken the liberty to order us a bottle of the finest champagne this place has to offer,” he told me with a grin. “What are you in the mood for?”

I couldn't pronounce a single dish on the menu.

"I'll have whatever you're having," I said softly, closing my menu and setting it to the side. I didn't want to risk embarrassing myself in front of our waiter.

"This champagne is delightful," I exclaimed before taking another sip.

"Only the best for a woman as perfect as you, Y/N," Jay stated sweetly.

It was the first time he'd ever called me by my first name. I could feel my cheeks reddening as I smiled somewhat sheepishly.

"So where are the rest of the meeting attendees?” I asked inquisitively as I glanced around the area we were seated in.

"This meeting is just for you and me, Y/N," Jay said in a sultry tone of voice. "There's something about you, Y/N, that drives me crazy. Ever since you walked into my office, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind."

I felt the same way about him. He was definitely the most attractive, magnetic, and alluring man I had ever met. I was just too shy to tell him so.

Dinner was absolutely incredible. The food was delicious, and I'd probably had a bit more champagne than I'd actually intended to drink. After a perfect meal, Jay led me back out to the limousine, and we both got into the backseat.

As we talked about our backgrounds, childhoods, and future plans while drinking top shelf champagne, I suddenly remembered that I hadn't even asked him where we were headed. Before I could even form the words to inquire, the limo slowed to a stop.

"Where are we?" I asked, just as the chauffeur opened the door.

“My place,” Jay replied with a grin. “I hope that's okay with you. There's something I want to show you."

Normally, I would have thought twice about going to the home of a man I'd just met, but there was just something about Jay that made him all but irresistible to me.

His house was beyond magnificent. The outside of it took up damned-near an entire city block, and the front yard stretched out around the sides of the house. There was a huge, circular, paved driveway at the front, and the limo had stopped directly in the middle.

I couldn't even imagine what it was he wanted to show me. I felt both excited and anxious simultaneously.

Taking my hand inside his, he proceeded to lead me through his humongous residence, showing me all of the different paintings and other extraordinary decor and informing me of the countries from which they'd been ordered. Finally, we came to this nice, dimly lit room with a beautiful faux fireplace against the rear wall. My eyes widened in amazement as we entered the romantic-looking space hand-in-hand.

"Wowww!" I exclaimed, as I had done several hundred times since we'd first gotten out of the limo. "This room is so..."

“Enchanting? ”Jay stated in a questioning tone, finishing my exclamation for me.

"Yeah! Definitely!” I agreed as I looked around in bewilderment.

There was a bar counter in the far left area of the room and what appeared to be a fully-stocked mini bar behind it. A lavish-looking cream-colored sectional sofa was in the middle of the space, facing the fireplace, and there was a huge matching rug laid out in front of it.

Just as I was about to remove my shoes out of respect for the rug, the lights suddenly dimmed lower, and about a hundred faux candles all lit up simultaneously. Also, smooth, relaxing, slow music immediately began to play. The candlelight appeared to dance to the beat of the music.

I was totally speechless and utterly astonished. I had never seen anything like it before. I glanced over at Jay, who had already removed his own shoes and was filling two wine glasses at the built-in mini bar.

"Please, have a seat, Y/N,” he said amorously, nodding toward the sectional.

I sat down and continued to enjoy the ambiance of the supremely romantic setting until he soon came over to join me and placed a glass of champagne in my hand.

"So? Do you like it?" he asked after taking a sip of his drink.

"Like it? This is absolutely amazing!" I said with a huge grin.

"I'm glad you think so. I've never brought any woman into this room until tonight.

"I find that extremely hard to believe,” I said honestly."

I may be a lot of things, Y/N, but I am definitely not a liar,” he asserted. “Men like me don't have to be in order to get what we want."

“Now that, I absolutely do believe,” I replied with a grin. “So, what is it that you want with me? ”

"Ahh, the billion-dollar question," he said sultrily.

Just then, a very popular song began to play.

"Ohh, I love this song!" he said excitedly as he stood up and held out his hand. “Dance with me.”

I didn't refuse. He pulled me upward and into his strong arms, and I wrapped mine around his neck. The scent of his cologne was intoxicating. I closed my eyes and pressed my body against his as we swayed to the music. Caught up in the moment, I felt like I could stay in his arms like that forever.

Then, suddenly, he pulled away for a moment and looked deep into my eyes.

“Y/N, you have it all. I adore your womanly physique, your stunningly bright brown eyes, and the fact that you are a very intelligent young woman. You are damned-near flawless. From the very first moment you walked into my office, I have had an undeniable, overwhelming attraction to you, and I know you feel it too."

I was completely speechless. I mean, what was I supposed to say? How do you even reply to a statement like that?

In all honesty, I was just as attracted to him as he was to me, but with him being both my boss and such a wealthy, sophisticated man, I think I felt a little bit intimidated. I'd never imagined myself being wined and dined with a billionaire Adonis like him.

I just kind of stood there, gazing into his tantalizing eyes like a giddy schoolgirl with a crush.

"Y/N,” he whispered as he suddenly spun me around so that he was behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Yes," I whispered back to him as the feeling of his warm breath against the nape of my neck instantly made me moist between my thighs.

I moaned as his soft lips brushed against the lobe of my him,. My body was instantaneously on fire for him and he had barely touched me.

"I want you," he whispered as his manly hands found my breasts and cupped them through the thin fabric of my cocktail dress.

The tips of his fingers found my nipples, causing another moan to escape my mouth. I felt his hand on the back of my neck, and then suddenly, my dress slid carelessly to the floor. I was braless, and this seemed to turn Jay on even more.

He groaned as I felt his manhood begin to stiffen against my ass.

"Y/N, you're fucking perfect,” he said gruffly, his voice raspy against my ear. “I want you. And you want me, too, don't you?

"Yes, Jay, yes," I moaned.

His hands squeezed my breasts, and I sighed loudly, arching my back. I felt his stiffening cock twitch in his pants.

"I'm twenty-eight years old, and I'm not getting any younger, Y/N. I've been looking for the right woman to bear my offspring, and you are the perfect specimen. I know you probably walked into the Park building today with your own plans and aspirations for your career and whatnot, but I have to be honest with you; I want you to bear my children.”

It was a lot to take in. He had certainly said a mouthful. I wasn't so sure about having kids with a man I'd just met, but he was definitely different from any other man I'd ever met, and odds were that I'd probably never meet anyone quite like him again.

His right hand slid down my midsection and into the front of my satin pants. I hissed with delight, biting down on my lip to stifle my cry of pleasure. He was applying just the right amount of pressure to my bud, and I was grinding my crotch against his hand.

"Don't hold back, Y/N,” he ordered in a breathy voice. “Let it all out!”

With that, he slid two fingers inside my dripping-wet pussy. I thrust my hips forward and let out a cry.

“Fuck, your pussy is already so wet for me! ”He declared with a grunt, pressing his erection against my ass.

Just as I was about to climax, he stopped, pulled his fingers out of my pants, and turned me around to face him. He put his fingers in his mouth and sucked my excitement out of them. My face flushed with need.

Then he pushed me down onto my knees as he undid his pants, releasing his stiff, throbbing cock. It was large—larger than I'd expected. It was definitely the biggest dick I'd ever seen in my twenty-four years on this earth. But I didn't care. I was going to try my damnedest to swallow it whole.

I caressed the shaft as I slid my tongue around the tip of his cock, teasing it gently, and then sliding it down into my mouth as far as it would go. I sucked it slowly and easily at first, and then I took my hand and used it with the rhythm of my mouth, sucking it as hard and fast as I could.

Groans fell from Jay's lips as he grabbed my hair and fucked my mouth. Then suddenly, he stopped me.

Easing the rest of the way out of his pants, he pulled me up toward him again and kissed me passionately, using his tongue to invade my mouth hungrily. I moaned as he began to trail his lips and tongue down my neck, pausing to lick, suck, and fondle both of my breasts, and then continuing down my belly until he reached the top of my pants.

With his teeth, he worked my pants down over my hips and buttocks, letting them drop to the floor near my dress. He parted my thighs slightly, using his fingers to slide my folds apart and massage my bud. Then, his lips replaced his fingers against my moist, pulsating pussy, and I cried out in sheer passion.

He was so skilled and talented—his tongue was like a fucking vibrating sex toy! He grabbed and squeezed my ass with one hand and used the other to slide two fingers back inside my pussy. I couldn't take it anymore!

"Fucckkk, I'm going to cum, Jay! I'm going to cum...so...fucking..." I couldn't even finish my sentence. His fingers pressed against my g-spot, and his tongue darted fast and hard against my pussy, sending me completely over the edge with the most powerful, intense, earth-shattering orgasm I had ever experienced.

My entire body shuddered and shook, and my legs tensed up. I grabbed his head as my crotch jerked forward uncontrollably against his face.

"Shiiiiittt! Oh fuuuuck!" I screamed loudly, unable to speak any other words.

When my climax finally began to wane, just as I was about to catch my breath, Jay suddenly lifted my legs up on his shoulders and gently pushed me down onto the soft, cream-colored rug lying me down on my back.

Not wasting a second, he slid his huge, hard cock into me slowly, with my legs still hoisted up on his shoulders.

I moaned long and hard as he stretched me to my limit, sliding deeper into my pussy than any other man had ever been.

“Fuck, Y/N, your pussy's so tight and wet! ," he exclaimed, moaning as he began to thrust in and out of me, going deeper with every stroke.

I was moaning so loudly that I could barely even hear the music playing anymore. His own groans became louder and longer with every thrust of his burly hips.

I reached up and wrapped my hands around his neck as he started fucking me harder and faster. It wasn't long before I felt a second orgasm building, getting closer and closer...

I still wasn't exactly certain about letting him impregnate me and make me the mother of his children, but the sex was fucking earth-shattering. I had never been fucked so good before! I felt his huge, stiff cock plunging in and out of me as I cried out in delirious pleasure.

Just as I was about to scream out loud, having reached my second powerful orgasm, he let out a loud, long groan, and I knew he was there, too. We were climaxing together simultaneously, and for a brief moment, it was like the two of us became one in our own world of bliss.

I felt his cock spurting his hot cum deep inside of me, filling my pussy to the brim, but it felt so fucking wonderful that I didn't give a shit. Besides, he was rich and handsome and could fuck like a damn machine.

As we finally came back to our senses, Jay kissed my lips as he slid out of me and plopped down on the rug beside me. The fake fire was still going, and the lights and music were still playing.

"That was, by far, the best sex I've ever had in my life,” I said breathily as I looked over at him.

"Me too," he said sultrily as he slid his arm beneath my neck.

With that, his eyes closed, as did mine, and we both drifted off into a satisfied slumber.

Jay and I continued to fuck like rabbits over the next few weeks, having hot, steamy, amazing sex every chance we got. And every time he came, he shot his hot cum deep inside of me.

Three weeks later, my pregnancy test came back positive. Jay was ecstatic, of course. At first, I had mixed emotions. I was going to become a mother. Was I really ready?

He immediately made me quit my job and put me in a beautiful condo with a view that overlooked the entire city. He found me the best doctors in the area and accompanied me to all of my prenatal appointments.

So I wouldn't be able to work for a while. I mean, babies don't stay babies. They eventually grow up into adults who can take care of themselves. Who knows? Once I've raised my kids, perhaps I'll still want to go back into the workforce.

For now, though, I think I'll just enjoy swelling with Jay's seed, growing rounder and riper by the day.

[lovesickonmybed]

teaching you a lesson in the worst kind of way | 18+

masterlist | info about palestine | donate to gaza

pairing | boss!ellie x reader

synopsis | you show up late for work once again and ellie decides another lecture just won’t do. 

warnings |  18+ MDNI!! wedgies, degradation, humiliation, panty sniffing, cunt busting, borderline footjob kind of??, a little bit of pantyhose fetish, dom!ellie, sub!reader, unbalanced power dynamics, lots and lots of dirty talk, oral sex reader!receiving.

word count | 3354

a/n | i used this fic as an excuse to explore a new kink i’ve been into. it might be a little much for some people so if anything in the warnings sounds unappealing please keep scrolling. this was also partially inspired by an audio i found on soundgasm, which you can listen to here. i urge you to not buy any of the last of us games, including the remaster as the creator, neil druckmann is a zionist. the second game is based off of the israeli occupation in palestine and you can learn more about that here.

You didn’t mean to make a habit out of being late but your shitbox car has made a habit out of deciding not to start on your busiest work days. You try to start it up again but once again it sputters pathetically and shows no signs of starting, you scream and grasp the steering wheel in frustration. “God fucking dammit! Ellie is gonna kill me…” You groan, swinging the door open and walk to your apartment lobby to call an Uber. You’re lucky enough to get one in under 5 minutes and spend the whole ride praying there won’t be much traffic, but unfortunately for you the universe is cruel and there’s an insane amount of traffic that makes you even more late than you already would be. You make a quick call to Ellie’s secretary to let her know you’ll be late and brace yourself for how much shit you’ll be in once you arrive. 

The last time you were late you got a 30 minute lecture from Ellie, a write up, and fingernail indents in your thighs thanks to your anxious habits. Ellie wasn’t a mean or a bad boss, but once you pissed her off she made it clear that you’d have to go the extra mile to get back in her good graces. Bringing Ellie her Dutch Bros order a few times a week definitely helped you out, but after your car giving out for the 3rd time in 6th months, you’re not sure if electric berry lemonades could save your ass this time. 

Your Uber pulls up outside your office building and you thank your driver for the ride and head inside quickly, looking down for a second to leave 5 stars and a good tip. You make your way to Ellie’s office as quickly as you can and thank the universe that she’s speaking with her secretary when you arrive. 

Ellie is looking down at her secretary's computer screen, running her finger underneath the sentence she’s reading, mumbling the words aloud to herself. Ellie’s secretary nudges her to alert her to your presence. She looks up and narrows her eyes, leaning down to whisper something to her secretary. She nods her head in the direction of her office and you follow her inside, playing with the hair tie on your wrist to calm your nerves. Ellie holds the door open for you and you take a moment to admire her outfit, a pinstripe suit with the buttons on her blazer undone to show off her silky black button down that’s tucked into the pants. This is one of the rare days where she’s chosen to wear heels instead of her usual oxfords. You sit down in the comfy chair in front of her desk as she sits in her chair behind her desk.

“Late again, I really thought our last talk would’ve gotten through to you,” Ellie says, shaking her head with disappointment. You sigh, looking down at your lap with embarrassment. You take a second to try and choose the best way to respond, you’ve already pissed her off enough by being almost 30 minutes late, you really can’t afford to push your luck any further.

“I’m so sorry, I know I’ve been late already a few times this quarter. I’ve been having a lot of car trouble, I’ve been waiting on my tax return to get it fixed, I can’t really afford it at the moment…” You explain, feeling yourself get hot with embarrassment as you start to pick at your pantyhose cover thighs. 

“We can discuss your car later, we’ll help you figure something out. But for now, I want to address your outfit. That skirt you’re wearing is too short, I’m gonna give you a warning for now but if you wear it again you’re getting another write up.” 

“You’re joking right? My high school had a stricter dress code than we do and I wore this all the time. There’s no way it’s too short!” You’re pissed off now, it feels like Ellie is just trying to find something to punish you for at this point.

“Well this isn’t a high school and I don’t care if you wore it then, it’s inappropriate and I need you to not wear it again. You’re lucky I’m not sending you home to change,” Ellie says, narrowing her eyes.

“I wish it was high school, at least they’d give me something else to wear!” Your frustration from how the morning has gone so far is getting to you and you snap a little bit.

“You know what? Get up,” Ellie commands, getting up out of her chair and standing over you.

“What?” You’re incredibly confused by what Ellie has planned for you for your little outburst, if you’re getting written up for insubordination you don’t know why you have to stand.

“I said get. Up.” Oh, she’s not fucking with you.

You slowly rise to your feet in confusion, furrowing your brows and looking around the room. Ellie gets out from behind her desk and steps towards you, grabbing you by your shoulders and spinning you around so that you’re facing away from her. “You know, if this was high school, I don’t think you’d like me very much. I’m sure you were a little loser, a little nerd maybe, back then. Probably got picked on and teased by girls like me, hm? Girls like me would punish girls like you for talking back with a good old fashioned wedgie.” Ellie grabs the waist of your skirt, pulling it back and reaching a hand inside your skirt. She slowly grabs the waistbands of your pantyhose and panties and yanks them up quickly, sending you stumbling forward onto your toes in an attempt to escape the searing pain she’s sent up your ass. She laughs as you reach back to try and tug them out of your hands, it just motivates her to pull harder. “Stop taking it like a little bitch, we both know you had your panties yanked every day of your miserable high school life.”

You cry out in pain as she bends you over her desk and pulls even harder. You grasp at the wood as you feel your feet lift off the ground as she pulls, it sends the fabric of your panties between your folds and you bite your lip to hold back a whimper. Oddly enough the sensation between your folds gets you wet and whiny. “Do you wish it was high school now? I could always throw in a swirly if this isn’t enough for you!”

“Let me go! This isn’t okay!” You yell, trying to force yourself up. Ellie slams you back down onto her desk with no problem and pulls even harder, your pantyhose ripping in the process. You haven’t felt this humiliated in years. Ellie pulls your skirt up for a better view of your wedgied ass. 

“God these are practically disappearing inside you…” She mumbles to herself, fighting the urge to spread your cheeks for a better look at just how deep your wedgie really is. You manage to kick Ellie off of you and you feel the air get knocked out of your lungs as you hit the desk and tumble to the ground. You back yourself up against the desk and catch your breath, Ellie lets you, watching you and smiling as she plans her next move. “Don’t move an inch,” she commands.

You look up at her with fearful eyes. Your black skirt is bunched up around your waist, your ripped pantyhose and pretty white panties are stuffed deep between your folds. Ellie admires the view she has of your legs spread open, she smiles and nudges your inner thigh with her foot, pointing it towards your cunt. “Do I work you so hard you don’t have time to shave? Shame that such a pretty pussy is all covered up with that hair. I wonder how that pussy wedgie would feel if you had shaved, do you think it would hurt worse?”

You gulp and nod, not sure if she really wants you to answer her. “Y-Yeah, it probably would…” You answer meekly. Your eyes follow Ellies foot as she trails it up your inner thigh. She tests the waters, pressing the sole of her shoe against your cunt. She looks down at you and carefully analyzes your expressions.

“When you go home tonight I want you to shave, I want you to really feel it when you get that pretty little cunt flossed. Got it?” Ellie’s tone is demanding, she’s not asking you to, she’s telling you to. “You wanna be a good little employee right? Wanna follow my orders? Then do it.” Who are you to disobey her?

“Yes ma’am.” Ellie smiles down at you as you agree to follow her orders. You feel her shoe press harder against your cunt and against all better judgment you lift your hips and press yourself into the sole of her shoe, wincing at the slight pain and eyes rolling back at the pleasurable feeling. 

Ellies lets out a breathy laugh, “You like this? What are you, a little pain slut? God, who would’ve guessed my little glorified coffee runner gets off on getting her cunt wrecked.” Ellie draws her foot back like she’s about to kick you, leaning forward on one foot, placing her hand on her desk to stabilize herself. She looks down at you and tilts her head to the side, “Are you wet? Your panties are plugging you up, it’s hard to tell. Maybe I need to kick ‘em loose so I can see for myself, hm?” Ellie draws her leg back further, getting herself ready. She smirks down at you before delivering a light kick to your stuffed cunt. You gasp loudly, falling forward, throwing your arm forward to stop yourself from falling on your face. Your eyes well up with tears and you let out a guttural moan, this is a pain you’ve never felt before. It has you clawing at the carpet and leaking hot tears. But, your eyes aren’t the only thing leaking. Somehow, someway, the pain from the kick has quickly melted into pleasure. You can feel your clit twitch as you lay propped up on the floor, squeaking softly, your hips jumping up off the floor.

Ellie looks at you with a shit eating grin, reveling in your pathetic display. “Lay back against the desk and let me see if they got any looser,” she commands. She knows it’s impossible for her to kick them loose, she just wants a good view of your pathetic puffy cunt. You prop yourself back up against the desk and spread your legs for her, she gets down on her knees and crawls forward to you. She lays herself down on the floor and grabs your thighs, spreading them further apart. She shoves her face between your thighs, carefully inspecting your cunt. You can feel her breath on your thighs and against your clothed cunt, it makes you whine like a little bitch. 

“Pretty pussy getting plugged up just like it should…” She mumbles, running her finger along your stuffed slit. You throw your head back against the wood and whine, your hips bucking slightly at the feeling. Ellie smirks, knowing she’s got you right where she wants you. “Poor baby, probably haven’t been touched in so long…bet whatever pathetic toy you’ve got in your bedside drawer gets a lot of use, hm?” She grabs the fabric of your panties, slowly pulling it out of you as you whine in pain. You didn’t think it would be possible for it to hurt worse taking your wedgie out than it did actually getting wedgied but somehow it does.

Ellie leans forward and nudges her nose against your clothed clit causing you to yelp and dig your nails into the soft meat of your thigh. “So sensitive, I’m shocked you didn’t cum from just your wedgie alone…” She stands up and motions for you to do the same, you feel a bit weak as you do, using the desk to support yourself as you stand. You lean back against the desk, your skirt still bunched up over your waist, the stiff fabric staying in place. Ellie admires the view she has of your soaked and stretched out panties, the way she looks at you makes you melt. You know you shouldn’t be so wet after what she just did but something deep down in you wants her to do it again. 

“Can I…can I taste you? I know you probably taste so fucking good…please let me make you feel good,” Ellie pleads, walking closer to you before dropping to her knees in front of you. She removes her blazer quickly, tossing the pinstriped fabric behind her. You hop up on the desk, spreading your legs, as you watch her push the sleeves up on her button down shirt. “Tell me I can taste you honey, need to hear you say it…”

You look down at her, biting your lip softly. You enjoy watching her plead like that, for once you’re in control. “You can taste me, baby. Gotta make me cum, gotta make it up to my poor little cunt after what you did to her. Make it good.”

Ellie smirks up at you, looking as smug as ever with a shit eating grin. She hooks her arms under your thighs and pulls you closer to her, “I’ll make it the best you’ve ever had.” She grabs hold on your waistband and begins to pull down your underwear, stuffing them into the pocket of her pants as she removes the fabric from your body. She leans forward and you lift your legs over her arms, resting them on her shoulders. Her face is barely an inch from your cunt and you throw your head back to look at the ceiling to try and get yourself to relax. You bite your lip to hold back a whine as you feel Ellie breathing against your naked cunt, you can practically feel the smirk radiating off of her, she knows the effect she has on you and she’s proud of it. You gasp as you feel her begin to kiss your inner thighs, she moves closer and closer to your cunt before she takes your redden clit into her mouth and sucks. Your hand shoots down to her head and you grip her hair at the root as your eyes widen, you haven’t had anyone eat you out for a very long time.

She smiles and slowly pulls away from your cunt, your legs still resting over her shoulders. “You react like a fucking virgin, y’know that? I’m shocked you didn’t cum just from that,” she chuckles cockily. You roll your eyes at her and tug at her auburn locks, causing her to wince in pain. “You little bitch, I can bust that cunt of yours again y’know?” You let go of her hair and lean back on your palms. Ellie leans forward and continues, licking a stripe up your slit and using her tongue to play with your clit. This time you don’t allow yourself to hold back, you moan in pleasure. Ellie smiles and continues on, repeating the motion as you squirm beneath her, licking at your clit every now and then.

“Ellie how the fuck did you get so good at this?” You whine, your eyebrows furrowing as you start to softly grind against her face, using her hair as an anchor. You ease up on her hair so she can pull away to answer, “I was really popular in college,” she jokes, before immediately diving right back in. 

Your hips buck up in pleasure as she goes back to sucking your clit, sending waves of pleasure through your body. You grip her hair even tighter and grind your cunt against her face, borderline riding it at this point. She lets you use her as she uses her tongue to massage your clit while she sucks on it. She widens her mouth to suck your cunt as well and that’s all it takes to send you over the edge. Your hips leave the table and you pull her hair with all your might as you spasm underneath her, moaning out her name, your legs tightening around her head involuntarily as you practically fold in on yourself. She lets you come down from your high, drinking you up enthusiastically, letting you make a mess all over her face. When you manage to come down you let your legs fall open and Ellie finally is able to get some air. You lay back and admire her flushed face, the lower half of it is covered in your slick and it’s a sight you’d pay to see again. 

You let your legs dangle off the desk, feeling like they’re made of jelly as both you and Ellie recover. Your cheeks heat up as you watch Ellie wipe the slick from her face with your underwear, giving them a sniff before she tucks them back in her pocket. She gets up from the ground and walks around her desk, sitting down in her chair and cradling your head. “You’re so fuckin pretty, you were so good for me,” she says, smiling down at you, stroking your cheek lovingly. 

“Where did you learn to eat pussy like that, I’m so serious?” You ask, giggling to yourself when her cheeks turn red and she looks up at the ceiling. 

“I told you! I was very popular in college!” She laughs and brushes some of your hair out of your face. You can see a bit of slick still on her chin and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t love it.

“How am I supposed to work after that? My legs feel like jelly, my cunt is pretty sore, and you stole my panties and destroyed them.”

Ellie chuckles, “I guess I could give you the day off…or maybe just assign you to work with me all day while I help you figure out what to do about your car situation.” 

You groan, you had completely forgotten about your car, “Shit. I doubt there’s anything I can do, I swear she’s done for this time!” You had a lot of memories in your car, a lot of them involved screaming to I Don’t Care by Fall Out Boy before going into work. 

“I’ll help you figure it out, pretty girl. It’s the least I could do after dress coding you over some bullshit and wrecking your cunt,” Ellie says. 

“Oh so you admit the dress coding was bullshit!” You exclaim, sitting up and hopping off the desk, pulling your skirt back down and smoothing it out. You sit down in the chair you had sat in earlier when she had called you in and look at Ellie with your arms crossed in annoyance.

Ellie rolls her eyes and huffs, “Of course it was bullshit, but hey I needed a reason to keep you in here longer. You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to fuck you, it’s been so hard to try and be professional with you around.” You take a minute to wrap your head around what Ellie just said.

“You what?” You’re shocked she’d admit to it.

“I’m not sure why, but after we had that work event at the arcade with the karaoke room I’ve been thinking about you. Maybe it was seeing you in casual clothes or seeing you sing your heart out to Sugar, We’re Goin Down but something about you that night just awakened something in me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, it was driving me crazy,” Ellie confesses. You sit across from her and your jaw is practically on the floor.

“So you really like me? You didn’t just want to fuck me, right?” You ask once you’ve regained the ability to speak. 

“Yeah, I really fucking like you,” she smirks.

“HR is gonna have a field day with us…”

[kenananamin]

All I ask, All I want

SHIBUYA SPOILERS... KINDA.

*This story will slightly alter the events during and after Shibuya.

Summary: Nanami makes his way to you after Shibuya in a delirious state and crashes into your apartment with severe injuries. He cannot process his current state and shows you what he was always worried you would see. You question everything you thought you knew about him and you're anxious to ask him for the truth but worried if he'll even survive. post-shibuya angst, worried nanami and reader, angst, pain... i'm sorry. happy ending ~2.7k words

I'm almost there, she's right past this alleyway.

Nanami slowly walks to your apartment and leans on a parked car for support. He can't hold his head up for longer than a few seconds at a time, but he's memorized your neighborhood after patrolling it so often for any curses that might hurt you as a non-sorcerer. I'm almost there, she's waiting for me...

———

You hear your door handle clanking and slowly get up from your bed without making any extra unnecessary noise. You grab your phone and open Nanami's contact just in case you need to call and lower your head to the door's peep hole. You smile as you see the very top of a familiar blonde head and open your door, "Oh gosh, I was about to panic call you until I — "

Nanami crashes into your entryway and you fall back to the floor when you see him. You're in shock and it takes you a moment to realize there was a bleeding man with severe burns in your entryway... and that man was Nanami Kento. Your brain catches up with the scene in front of you and you let out a blood-curling scream as you crawl towards your boyfriend. He's laying flat on the floor by now and the rug underneath him starts to soak up the blood from his shredded and burned skin.

"Nanami! Fuck, what do I do?! Kento!! Oh my god, oh my god," you reach for your phone but pause as you're about to call for an ambulance. Nanami had mentioned weeks ago that you should call his... friend if he ever had an emergency. You didn't understand at the time but Nanami said it was just a precaution he wanted to take early on. You look for the contact and find 'G.S. Emergency'. No answer. You look for the second emergency contact 'K.I. Emergency'. No answer.

You look at Ken who's shallow breathing has filled every corner of your apartment and soul. You place the call on speaker and start to ramble to the operator while hiding the cleaver knife-like object in his hand.

———

You thought something was off when Nanami would look behind the both of you and excuse himself for a second in the middle of your dates. Or when he'd tell you to stand still and close your eyes. Or when he told you to get inside first and you heard light grunting and his fast steps outside your door before he breathlessly entered the apartment.

You thought something was off, but you could have never imagined this. Nanami lay in a hospital bed, wrapped in special bandages, but you guys weren't in a hospital. It was a clean and sterile room, but you could open the large window and see a horizon of lined traditional temples.

You push any other thoughts away and return to your spot next to Nanami and clasp your hands together. You weren't sure who you were praying to this whole time, but you hoped that someone out there, anyone, was listening and taking pity on you.

———

Nanami wakes up and feels like he's floating. He can't feel the bandages he clearly sees on himself and especially — you. You were sitting on a chair near the foot of his bed with your arms crossed on the bed, sleeping peacefully. This must be heaven. There was no other reason why you'd be in this room with him, in Jujutsu Tech. No wonder he felt like he was floating, this was the afterlife that was being blessed upon him to spend another moment with you. Fleeting moment or a permanent heaven, Nanami wanted to touch you again, hear your voice, and look into his favorite pair of eyes.

"y/n," Nanami squeezes out your name from his dry throat. He doesn't have the strength to move his leg and try to shift your arms so he keeps repeating your name and nicknames to wake you up.

You had fallen asleep for the first time in a while but you hear your name very very softly. You open your eyes and see half of Nanami's face moving. You sit up and see him smile, "y/n. Hi baby."

You shove the chair back and stand up to touch what you can of his face while repeatedly pushing the button on the side of the bed, "Hi Ken, don't move too much, ok? You need to rest first."

He lazily smiles, looks at you with a half-closed eye and slowly says, "Thank you for seeing me off. I love you, y/n." Nanami gently closes his eyes right as Shoko comes in and you see him drift off.

"I love you, Kento," you whisper and kiss his knuckles as you feel the tears prickling your eyes again.

———

Nanami was finally awake. He woke up to see you sleeping on a small couch by the window where the sunset lightly reflected off your skin. He thought he was dead and he'd spend the rest of eternity with you in that room and right as he was finding peace and comfort with the idea, his student walked into the room with a tray of food and water.

"Na— Nanamin?" Yuji stared at his teacher and leaned out the door to scream for Shoko to hurry in.

Nanami starts to shush him and his previous thoughts of being in the afterlife shattered. There was relief to know he was alive, but his panic slowly started setting in when he wondered why you were in the room and just how much you knew.

Yuji and Shoko rush in and he can hear questions being asked and hands touching him to check on him, but he interrupts them without looking away from your sleeping figure, "Why is she here?" Nanami looks at them both, "What does she know?"

Yuji sits on the chair that Nanami had seen you in before and quietly starts to explain that he had left Shibuya after fighting Jogo. Nobody knew where Nanami was and some people believed they should look for his body only instead, predicting he'd be dead. Yuji shares that everything was shattered and hectic but they received a call to rush to a local hospital.

Shoko continues as Yuji grabs some new bandages, "Our van got to the hospital at the same time as the ambulance. y/n told them she was your wife to avoid any resistance in going with you and started fighting us when we wanted to take you. That was when I realized that she didn't know anything about us, about this world. She cried and begged to let the hospital take care of you, that only they would know what to do."

Nanami looks over to you and wishes your back was not turned to him so that he could see your face.

"We brought her with us too and let her stay in the room for everything so that she could see we would not hurt you," Shoko pauses in removing Nanami's bandage and whispers, "Nanami, you should tell her. Everything or just something — anything. She has not left the room since we brought you and she won't listen to any explanation from anyone. y/n said she'll wait for you and will only listen to your explanation."

Nanami rubs his eye and begins to wonder how to even start the conversation with you. This, this was exactly what he wanted to prevent. He tried to stay away from you so that you'd never find out about anything he did, he covered his tracks and continued his cover-story of being a salaryman. But even with all his efforts, he was drawn to you like a moth to a flame and was prepared to let himself drown in everything about you.

Nanami glances to his student who's sadly looking at your sleeping figure before turning to nod to Shoko.

"You know Shoko," Nanami takes a deep breath and turns back to you, "she was the only thing on my mind after Jogo. I walked passed some of the most gruesome scenes I have ever seen in my time as a sorcerer, but I could only think about how much longer I had, about how long I could extend my final breaths to see her one last time. I wanted her face to be the last thing I saw."

———

It's nighttime when you stir awake. The couch was too small to comfortably sleep but your exhausted body was willing to pass out anywhere. You shift to look towards the hospital bed to check on Nanami but you find an empty bed with the covers neatly organized. You start to kick your blanket off to hurry out and quietly whisper no, no, no, please, no when you feel a hand on your foot.

You flinch at the touch but squint your eyes to see Nanami sitting on a chair next to the couch and looking out the window. You look over his body to check that he's still wrapped in his bandages. Nanami sees your eyes travel over his body and moves his hand from your foot to pull the robe over his chest to cover what has begun to scar.

Your eyes well up with tears to see him sitting next to you — alive. You move to the edge of the couch closest to Nanami and hold his hand. "Everything," you move one hand to his chest, touching the part he just tried to cover and leaving your hand over his heart to feel the beating. "You tell me everything right now."

Nanami starts from the beginning. He explains what it was like being born to a non-sorcerer family and the fear he would feel as a child when he'd see things no one else could. He describes what it was like to find out there were more like him and being admitted to Jujutsu High. He talks about his classmates, the work that's required, how the curses look and what the process is to exorcise them, a young man named Haibara, a sister school in Kyoto, the levels to the curses and sorcerers, and the weapons sometimes used.

The last part reminds you of the cleaver-like object and you tell Nanami you hid what he was holding. "I wasn't sure what it was, but whatever it was, I felt like nobody else should see it to avoid more questions to the already suspicious scene. The paramedics already thought I was crazy once they got there and saw your body.."

Nanami nods and let's you ask any questions you have about the Jujutsu world. You both lose track of the time and Nanami notices the sky start to turn into different shades of blue with an orange strip on the horizon by the time you ask what you've been holding all night, "Are... will you.... do you have to go back?"

Nanami looks back at you but you're holding his hand with your head down, waiting, perhaps dreading, his answer. "With how things are now, I think I might. I'm not much help right now but with time I ca—"

Your sob interrupts him and you lean your head down further to cry. He tries to scoot closer to you but a sharp pain in his torso stops him. He rubs your hand with his thumb instead and gently shushes you not to cry.

You stand from the couch, right in front of Nanami and start to fall to your knees. He realizes what you are about to do and leans forward to grab your arm to stop you, but you swat his weak grip away and continue into a deep bow.

"y/n, please. Baby, please stand up, please don't."

You cry and let your forehead touch the floor, "Nanami Kento, I am begging you to stop. Please stop being a sorcerer and please leave this world with me. You have taken enough punches and bruises, you don't have to stay in the ring. Tap out and let someone else tap in." Your quiet tears turn into sobs towards the end of your pleading.

You hear Nanami's voice start to shake above you, "Darling, please —"

You interrupt him and sit up to scoot to hold his knees close to your chest, "Tap me in, let me help you, Ken please. Let me protect you, I swear that I will protect you now."

You feel guilty bowing as you are. You are asking this man to leave what he knows, but you don't know what else to do. You have never felt such fear after seeing so much of his body burnt and his breath so shallow. You would bow to anyone for a chance to save his life. You would bow to him and plead him to save himself with this second chance.

"Don't fight anymore. Stay only as a teacher if you want but put that blade away. Don't leave these walls and the protection they offer. This is as much as I will compromise. I do not want you out there regardless of the danger levels. But better yet — please, let me take care of you. Stop fighting and working, follow me out of these halls and I'll do anything for you, I swear it."

Nanami's tears start to fall and he looks down at you gripping at his thighs in desperation.

"Kids..." you continue to ramble, "We can have kids if you want, we can move somewhere far and finally have our kids. You can convert a whole room into your library, you'll have an infinite amount of books and time to yourself to do anything you'd like. I'll make you all your favorite meals and listen to everything you have to say, even open a bakery if you want to try! I'll wear that wedding dress you have a photo saved of on your phone, even do a traditional wedding if you want to. I'll do it all and more, Ken, just please —" You knew your face was drenched and contorting to match your desperate pleas. "I'm begging you, please.."

Nanami reaches out to touch your cheek and a sob escapes his lips. It's the only time you've both cried this way in front of each other.

Yuji is sitting in the hallway by the room door and listens to the desperate rambling. He had been sitting there since he passed by and heard Nanami talking about his adolescence. He knew it wasn't right, but he just wanted to listen to Nanami speak for a while after the overwhelming anxiety of thinking he was dead and possibly not hearing him again.

Yuji stands, steps inside the room and clears his throat, "Nanamin? I — I think she's right. You should go. I can find you if we need help, but we'll be ok," he pauses to walk halfway into the room, "I think you should step out... and maybe have those kids?" the young boy smiles a bit at the thought of young kids running around his usually stoic teacher and calling him dad.

"Nanamin, Jujutsu High will be ok. And you have someone else to worry about now." Yuuji looks down to Nanami's lap where your head is laying on his thighs, weeping and thinking of more ways to beg him. The young boy smiles, "I've got it from here."

Nanami believes his student... and nods. He looks down at the crying woman whose sobs have their whole body shaking. He fights against the sharp pains around his body and leans down as far as he can to hug you. It is not the strong embrace you are used to from Nanami, but a light envelop that warms and calms your deepest fears.

———

Walking out of Jujutsu Tech, Nanami stops and introduces a few of the people he mentioned in his life story to you. He does not introduce you as his girlfriend (which was technically your title at that moment) but as his wife. You widen your eyes the first time he says it but he just smiles down at you and says, "You started using it first, now it's my turn. But I promise to properly ask you soon."

Yuji, Shoko, and Ino follow you both to the bottom of the stairs to say goodbye. You give them your number so that they have another place to reach Nanami and Yuji gladly takes the number with the promise of checking in soon. Nanami lightly pulls you away to finally leave but pauses before taking another step.

You hold Nanami's hand as he looks back to the school one last time. The place that showed him real pain and heartbreak, but also gave him a place to feel like he was making a difference. The place that held so many memories as both a student and teacher. The place that nearly broke him, but gave him the space to heal to return back to you. You rub his hand with both of yours and say, "All I ask is that you are happy, alive, and safe."

Nanami looks back at you with relief covering his features and guilt covering yours while you keep your head down. He gently rubs his thumb on your hand, "All I want is to follow you." You look up and he moves his hand to your face, "I promise, all I want is you."

You nod and lean to kiss him once softly. You wrap your arm around Nanami's torso and he wraps his arm around your shoulders. You motion for him to lean on you as he walks and for the first time in a long long time, he takes the offer to lean on someone else.

Yuji watches from the entrance path of the school as you both turn to leave the premises. He cups his hands around his mouth and yells, "Nanamin, y/n! I'll visit when I can! Read a few mangas for meeee!"

a/n: I saw paramore this summer and their music has been on repeat the whole year. 'all i wanted' is def gonna be in my top wrapped songs and it def reminds me of nanami every. single. time.

[pablitogavii]

I NEED A NEW POST ASAP 😭😭😭😭

Coming your way! <333

Good News

It was a grueling couple of months for Pablo. You made sure to be besides him through all of it and show your support.

Oftentimes you couldn't do much about the pain but after the long physicals you would cuddle him and play with his hair while he sleeps on your chest.

You also tried to talk to him through more depressive steps where he would watch his old videos with teammates and reminisce of the times he played for Barça.

"I want to go back amor ... I'm lost without them ... and so tired" one night he cried after a very intnse physical feeling his whole body trembling from how much pain he had to push through.

"I know, cariño ...and you will just rest now" you reassured him while he kept swiping through pictures enjoying your hands in his hair.

Today was a talk with his doctors who will give him an approximate return date and Pablo was so nervous about it. It was scheduled for ten in the morning but he was already up at five twisting and turning in bed until you woke up as well.

"Pablo, it's not even morning ...go back to bed cariño porfa" I said and he pulled you closer starting to kiss all over your face not letting you sleep.

"I can't sleep amor ... I'm so anxious!!!" he whined and you giggled opening your eyes and pulling him into a kiss.

"Want me to make some breakfast then?" you ask and he holds you tight not letting you move away from him.

"I want you here with me ... just tell me everything will be fine porfa" he said twirling a piece of your hair around his fingers.

"Of course everything will be fine cariño ... you're recovering nicely and I'm sure it won't be too long until you return to the pitch" you said and he smiled praying to God you were right.

"Thank you, princesa ... what would have I done without you?" he said and you giggled kissing him.

"You wouldn't have anyone to torture at five in the morning!" you said and you both laughed while enjoying your time in bed.

When it was time to leave, Pablo's dad noticed his son's nervousness as he opened his car door.

"Did he sleep at all?" he asked you and you smiled saying he was just a bit anxious but will be better after the meet. You sat besides him holding his hand the whole ride.

Once arrived at the camp, there was a crowd all yelling "good luck Gavi!" while he nodded holding your hand tightly and limping inside carefully. There all his friends waited and gave him a reassuring hug before we were invite into the office with the doctors.

"Let's not crowd the room" the doctor said and you offered staying out but Gavi wouldn't let go of your hand now really starting to panic.

"Can she come inside with me, doctor?" he asked adorably and the older man smiled nodding his head and letting us both in followed by his father.

"First, I want you to know these are good news so don't be nervous" he started and Pablo finally relaxed. The doctor explained that his recovery is moving better than expected and that he will be ready for preseason maybe even earlier.

"So I might play Euros too?" Pablo was already ready to jump back in but doctor told him that would be a cardinal mistake.

"Cariño, remember we need to be patient" you say touching his cheek and he nods still a little disappointed but knowing this was all a blessing.

'You just keep listening to your lovely lady, and you will be back in no time kid" his dad says and Pablo kissed the top of your head lovingly while you smiled with red cheeks.

"I couldn't of done it without her ..." he said and everyone smiled at the two of you while you rested your head on his shoulder thanking God for there good news <333

y.n.bebe

Barcelona, Spain

From being his biggest fan to being his girlfriend ... my champion is coming back in June and I am thanking God for such a blessing every day. Love you, cariño ❤️❤️❤️

comentarios:

pablogavi: i love you mi amor!!!❤️❤️❤️

pedri: welcome back brother!

ansufati: the best!!!

fcbarcelona: waiting for you with open arms gavi❤️

aurorapezg: her love healed him❤️

gavisfans: love them together! come back strong champion

I'm so happy to hear he's coming back stronger! ❤️❤️❤️

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 3/10

What am I feeling today?

Just so so tired, I blame it on us losing an hour. Then again, I also went to bed later than usual bc we were traveling home. Still have some residual stress but it’s calming down, I trust that God will see me through for this week because He always has in the past.

Bible Plan: Healing what’s Hidden

God can handle our emotions

Emotions are like the check-engine light on a car. They don’t tell us exactly what’s wrong, but they alert us that something under the hood needs our attention.

I actually genuinely really love this analogy because that’s so true! You can feel something but have no idea where it could be coming from.

As we’re healing from trauma, it’s important to recognize what we are feeling, but we need to remember that emotions don’t tell the whole story—and they don’t always tell the truth. For example:

You may feel like no one cares about you. That’s a lie.

You may feel like God has abandoned you. He hasn’t.

You may feel like you aren’t going to make it through this trial. You will.

These are really great reminders because they’re thoughts and emotions that I’ve struggled with in the past and I want to get beyond them because I know what the truth is and shouldn’t rely on my emotions to determine what’s real.

The truth is, emotions are not indicative of the presence of God in our situation. Sometimes when we’re happy, we say that we feel God’s presence. Other times, we feel his presence when we weep. But we can be sure of God’s presence even when we can’t feel him. That’s because God’s presence isn’t a feeling; it’s a fact.

Just saying, this is so true!!

Feeling strong emotions isn’t indicative of a lack of faith. Jesus felt strong emotions, and no one would doubt his faith! God can take it when we feel desperate, furious, terrified, or overwhelmed. He wants us to bring the emotions to him and to let his Holy Spirit point us to the source of the emotions so that they can be healed.

This is comforting for me, because a lot of the time I can mentally kick myself for feeling too much or for being someone with such strong emotions and reactions. But there’s nothing wrong with that! The point instead is to take it to God instead of letting it reign over me.

It isn’t about controlling our emotions; it’s about engaging them and allowing God to teach us through them. Our feelings can lie to us, but God will always tell us the truth.

🥹 this is really good for me to read. Because I tend to have a problem with control and that’s why I didn’t like how emotionally I was, because I had no control over them. But it’s not about me controlling or in my case numbing my emotions, but letting God teach me something through it when I give them up to Him.

John 14:26-27 NIV

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

The Holy Spirit is the one that teaches and reminds us, that’s so cool! I think it’s amazing that we have a part of the trinity that’s literally living in us!! Also noting that He does not give as the world does and that we should remain at peace (yes it’s difficult and there will definitely be challenging times but we know we can rely on Him.

Philippians 4:5-7 NIV

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I need to get better about my prayer life. I know that I talk to God a lot but does that count as prayer if I’m not formally presenting it as such? Idk why but sometimes it’s just really hard for me to pray to Him and it really doesn’t make sense. But like I said, I need to get better about it because He wants us to talk to Him about everything!

1 Peter 5:6-7 NIV

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

He cares for us!!! Idc how many times I gotta read or reiterate it, it’s true and I need to have it as a constant reminder! Also, with my struggles, the solution is literally right in front of me, I just need to humble myself before Him.

[ladymarycrawley]

What if I’d ask you out  part 2 - Mason Mount

Request: some of you asked me to write the second part to this fic and here it is!

I hope you enjoy it @primadxna-girl @jessmountsmason (I also put in your Jaz and Lewis matchmaking request as i thought it would combine well. Tell me whad you think!)  @prideofpd​ (here there’s the good amount of goofy, sexy mason you needed)💖

Warning: smutty in the end

Tag list: @masonxomount​ @chelsealover​ @masterclassbaby

The desire to see you was so strong that he'd have gone blind just to see you.

The only thing he could picture in his mind was how good you'd have looked with whatever outfit you'd have chosen. Your presence was the only thing that mattered to him, now that he was finally able to ask you out.

Mason only wanted that night to be perfect, you and him sharing the same wish. 

While his stare was focused on the full-lenght mirror before him, adjusting his clothes, his mind went to think how bad his brothers, Jaz and Lewis, had been trying to set him with you, that mthought making him giggle. They would be so proud to know you would have finally listened to them.

"You are perfect for each other, why don't you see that??" Jaz sounded rather desperate trying to get her little brother to open his eyes in how good of a match you would've been for him. "She's incredibly pretty, she's nice…what else do you need to fall in love?"

“Yeah Mase, you’re wasting your time ignoring that” Lew would always echo his sister’s words, pleading her cause.

He'd always react a bit annoyed at their words, even though deep inside he knew  they were right.

They had been trying to leave you alone all the time, whether it was a restaurant or after a game you went watching with them, but nothing really happened. 

-

“Well, I’ll pick you up at 7 then…don’t make me wait!”

“It’s called being fashionably late!”

A smile crept up on your face as your mind went back to that little bantering you had the day before. 

Only God knew how anxious you were to meet him for the first time as something more than just his good friend. 

As you put your things in your purse, you prayed everything would go smoothly, without it being too embarassing or, worse, something that could ruin your friendship.

Mason's mind, on his part, was wandering towards the whole conversation you shared the previous day: from the jab on whether you'd like to sleep with each other to the sense of loneliness, of loss he felt deep in his heart when you threatened to leave the training ground. 

He couldn't get enough of you, that's the truth. 

Mid September's crisp air urged you to opt for a quite covering look but not least fashionable for being so: a cozy coarse knitted sweater matched with a ruffled mini skirt; the whole outfit complemented by a pair of knee-high leather heeled boots

Mason, who was particularly sensitive to cold, chose a cozy knitwear garment too with matching dark trousers and designer trainers.

 "Hey"

"Hey" He smiled, the softest smile ever as he shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets, in a way that conveyed shyness but also happiness for finally being in your presence.

"Hope I didn't kept you waiting for too long" You sort of excused yourself with those words, as you took your seat by his side in his glamorous sports car.

"Nah, just half an hour" He chuckled, looking out of the window.

You blushed violently, your eyes wide open.

"Ehm - half an hour?!"

"Yeah but it's fine"

"I thought we arranged to meet at 7, it's 7:05"

"I was joking Y/N, relax" His chuckle became a little louder, making you roll your eyes. You fastened your seat belt, huffing.

He was trying to act cool but in fact he was so eager to see you he left the house way sooner the time you had planned.

"You're incredible, Mount"

"I'll take it as a compliment" He said, setting the car in motion.

After that playful banter a comfortable yet meaningful silence fell between the two of you, the only audible thing was the radio blasting Sex by the 1975. 

As soon as the lyrics started resonating through the vehicle, a deep tension started forming. You tried to distract yourself looking out of the window, your hand partially hiding the side of your face that could have been easily deciphered by Mason, biting on your forefinger to prevent any weird facial expression.

Mason tried to keep his stare on the road in a desperate attempt not to fall in the temptation to look at how your skirt's pleats would cherish your bare legs.

"And she said use your hands and my spare time

We got one thing in common it's this tongue of mine

She said she's got a boyfriend anyway"

Mason cleared his throat, trying to cough the tension away while you would try to relax in your seat, with a deep sigh.

"You look really good tonight"

"Thanks…"

You weren't used to him complimenting you, as most of your conversations were based on jokes and sarcastic remarks. So you didn't know how to take it: was he serious? Or was he subtly making fun of you?

"I mean it" You blurted your eyes at his words because it was as if he could read what just crossed your mind, being aware of what your concern was.

"Are you sure?" You giggled.

"Yeah, I mean you're always pretty…" He blushed, scratching his beard.

You smiled, quite happy with where that talk was going.

"Well you’re kinda cute too"

"Kinda?"

"Okay, you're the most handsome man I've ever laid my eyes on. Happy now??"

Mason grinned, as he was satisfied that he finally got you to say those words he had been dying to hear from you for so long.

"Much better, even though you're lying"

"I'm not lying, you really are very handsome"

Mason swallowed hard, it was getting unbearably hot in that car.

Gladly you had nearly arrived at the restaurant he booked for your first date so he just pulled up as he couldn't control his instinct anymore: he took your face in his hands to start kissing you with all the passion he had piled up inside of him, which was a lot.

You were expecting for him to kiss you that night but you would never have imagined it would be like that, so passionate, so overwhelming. 

It was as if your lips were made for each other, they would fit perfectly.

It didn't feel like your first kiss at all, on the contrary it felt as if you've spent all your life together, practicing for that moment.

Your lips and your tongues were dancing around in a sinuous way, in a sensual fight.

When you let a moan escape your lips, Mason kissed you harder, if that was possible, slipping his hand under the hem of your skirt, his cold palm flat on your thigh skin.

Your hand would let go of his face to go exploring his broad neck. His body felt so perfect under your touch, you could never have thought it would be like that, not even in your dirtiest dreams.

When he broke the kiss to get some air, his mouth was dangerously close to your ear so he panted right close to it. That sent shivers down your spine, making you moan back. It was all so hot, he was so hot.

"God"

"That was good"

"So fucking good" You giggled, resting your head on his shoulder. 

"I've been waiting for it for too long"

"How long?" You looked up at him, before pressing a peck on that vein making his neck so irresistible.

"Too long"

The time you spent apart was too much you needed to make up for it. It was as if you finally found yourselves and didn't have the faintest idea of letting go of each other. You were hungry, needy for each other as the next kiss you shared showed: your tongues were fighting for dominance, wanting to prevail on the other to demonstrate who was hungrier. 

Even the moment you spent apart, trying to catch your breath with your eyes closed and your hot breaths against each other’s lips, was magic.

"I don't have a boyfriend though" You joked, referring to the song that was to blame for your passionate make out session.

"Well, so I can apply for that?"

"You'll have to make the cut first" You grinned cheekily, nipping his lower lip gently.

"Oh is it hard?"

"So damn hard…don't make any stupid joke, Mount" You warned him about the two-way joke you were sure he was about to crack.

He giggled against your lips before kissing you again. He was insatiable, leaving lusty bites over your lips to which you would answer to by sucking on his tongue in the most sinful way.

"God am I so predictable?"

"A bit but that's because I know you too well now…as if I've known you all my life"

His lips attracted you to him like a magnet. From all the kissing your lips were a bit swollen and red but you couldn't care at all as you'd have stayed there in his arms forever.

Mason smiled against your lips, as his mind went back to his brothers for the second time that night: the satisfied expressions that would have appeared on their faces, stressing how many times they told him to date you, made him smile proudly and that didn't go unnoticed by you.

"What?"

"Nothing…I'm just happy"

"Shut up Mount" You straddled him, moaning when you felt his hard bulge pressing against your core.

"You're so needy for me…"

"You bet"

"You know you're giving me a lot of things to tease you about later?" He smirked, moving your panties to the side to squeeze your butt cheek. 

You rolled your eyes, going on sucking on the tight skin of his neck, trying to ignore his words that at the moment were just useless sounds his mouth was emitting. 

"I guess you're not hungry anymore" He said, hinting at the restaurant that was waiting for you.

"You just want me to tell you I'm hungry for you, to boost your ego"

Mason moaned against your lips, his fingers rubbing against your wet folds.

You had so much to catch up on the restaurant booking took a back seat, the months of repressed tension yoy had to release were much more important…

[itsdelilah123]

WINE STAINS

Nigel Colbie x Alex Forbes one-shot

prologue: Alex has been coming home later and later from his shifts at the bar and Nigel isn’t sure what to think, so one day he waits late into the morning for Alex to ask him about his “late shifts” at work.

🍷

(Side eye)

Alex’s pov:

I’m wiping down the countertop of the bar I work at thinking about how ready I am to get home. I’ve been taking overtime shifts to save up extra cash for the past 3 months for me and Nigel’s 3rd anniversary. I’m going to propose to him tomorrow morning, I got it all planned out. the ring I got him isn’t anything special but it’s enough (hopefully) I’ve also got a week-long trip to Rome Italy planned out, I know he always wanted to go there. I feel bad for always being at work but I’m praying to god that the proposal will make things better.

Third-person pov:

Alex finishes up cleaning with a slight smile on his face thinking about how Nigel was worth being sleep deprived and overworked. Alex gets paid a decent salary enough to pay for his and Nigel’s small apartment and everything they need, just not enough to get up and leave whenever they want. this has put a strain on their relationship but he knows they can get through it. Nigel will understand and get over it.

…

“ALRIGHT AMY IM HEADING OUT”

Alex yells to his coworker, Amy. She is one of the few people who he actually considers a friend, she’s even helped Alex plan out this whole proposal.

“OK DOLLOP HEAD” (Merlin reference😉)

Amy shouts back, Alex smiles after hearing her and nearly drops his car key trying to take them out of his pocket and unlock his car. he sighs and relaxes into the driver seat leaning his head back and trying to imagine Nigel’s reaction, yes they’ve been together for 3 years but he’s still scared of the possibility of Nigel saying no.

Alex shakes his body trying to push away those heart-aching thoughts and pulls off ready to go home.

Nigel’s pov:

For the past three months, Alex has been working “overtime” and he’s never home. His work has consumed him. His whole routine is work, home, and sleep. I don’t ever see him awake anymore, When I do cross paths with him it is very rare, I’m either waking up and he’s sleeping or I’m waking up when he’s just come back home. But today I’ve decided to wait up for him. I’m tired of trying to think of different explanations. He doesn’t need to work overtime it’s not like we need the money, I’ve checked our bank balance a few times and they haven’t changed. what reason does he have if he’s not profiting from anything? I don’t even get to have an explanation for any of this. it feels like he’s ignoring me trying to avoid me even. Every time I ask him about it or bring it up (when I get the rare chance of running into him when he’s not snoring) he gets defensive or says “his boss just needed an extra hand on shift”.

Third-person pov:

it’s been 3 hours since Nigel has decided he was going to wait up for Alex, he sat on their couch book in his lap and a glass of dark red wine resting on the coffee table next to him, it was getting late and Nigel didn’t know if he could stay up for any longer. It was currently 2:10 am and he got off work at 7:00 pm. Nigel started biting on his lip wondering if he should just go to sleep? he has work in the morning. Nigel furrows his brows gripping the cushions of the couch his knuckles turning white, he doesn’t understand why Alex couldn’t at least be home the night before their anniversary. Nigel wanted to see him before he had to go in for work the next day. Nigel lets out a sigh looking around and getting more anxious as thoughts run through his head. His eyes ended up landing on his glass of wine, he grabs the glass and slowly puts the rim up to his lips, he takes a deep breath before completely chugging the glass down, and wine drips down the sides of Nigel’s mouth dripping onto his (Alex’s) white shirt leaving small wine stains down the front of the shirt. Nigel pours himself another after another glass🍷.

…

Nigel is onto his 4th cup of wine but stops when someone abruptly grabs his wrist. he didn’t hear anything because he was completely zoned out (and tipsy)so he was shocked when he felt someone grabbing into him. Nigel choked on the wine coughing as the glass was being taken from his hand.

“Nigel, what are you doing up so late?”

Nigel looks up to see Alex staring at him confused and concerned.

“waiting for you ofc-of course”

Nigel says looking back into Alex’s eyes.

Alex’s pov:

I pull into the parking lot of our apartment building, I quickly rush out of my car into the small building to not freeze my ass off. I walk up 2 flights of stairs (we live on the second floor) I pull my keychain out from my pocket and unlock the door not expecting Nigel to be up but I’m taken it back when I walk into the apartment and see the dim glow of the living room light. Nigel probably just forgot to shut it off before going to bed- well that’s what I thought before I walk into the living to see Nigel chugging down a glass of wine. The shirt he’s wearing is covered with red stains, he had a blanket loosely covering his midriff, his hair was messy framing his face perfectly and his cheeks were a bright red compared to his fair skin— he looked beautiful.

I rushed over to him and grab his wrist pulling the drink away from his mouth before he could finish the glass.

“Nigel, what are you doing up so late?”

I ask him generally confused, he is always asleep by now.

“Waiting for you ofc-of course.”

“for me?”

I question not quite understanding from the lack of sleep. He looks away for a second but I grab his chin slowly pulling his head to face me.

“you stood up all this time waiting for me—why?” This idiot…

Third-person pov:

Nigel looks into Alex’s eyes and says “because you’re never here.” His eyes started to tear up (the alcohol making him more emotional).

“god Nigel…don’t cry, I’m sorry,” Alex whispers taking his thumb wiping away the stray tear that left Nigel’s eye, in this moment Alex takes in the boy in front of him studying his details closely. His eyes travel from his pitch black hair to his icy blue eyes onto his red chapped lips. Alex didn’t know what to do he’s never seen Nigel act this way before.

“Why are you always at work? Your keeping secrets…we agreed to always tell each other the truth!” Nigel says pushing away Alex’s hand wiping away his tears and looking back at Alex with a cold harsh stare. “Tell me…Alex, why? Did I do something wrong is it me…is it me Alex?” Nigel begs letting out a choked sob, his breathing quickened and his face went from relaxed to distressed. Alex's heart breaks in that moment. He never realized how much stress he’s put Nigel through, how could he let Nigel ever think that he did something that would make Alex want to ignore him?

“no. Nigel god no you didn’t do anything. Im so sorry…” Alex says almost whispering. “Let’s go to bed please I’ll explain to you in the morning...I’m exhausted and I’m sure you are too.”

Nigel finally looks into Alex’s sorrowful eyes and hesitantly agrees. Alex smiles softly and put his hands on Nigel’s face gently rubbing small circles into his cheeks with his thumbs. Alex sighs and leans down and places a soft kiss on Nigel’s lips, resting his head on Nigel’s shoulder raping his arms around his waist.

“let’s go to sleep I’ll explain everything in the morning.” Patting his side Alex slides his hands underneath Nigel’s thighs lifting him.

“Ok” Nigel whispers while he wraps his arms around Alex resting his head on his shoulder his eyes growing heavier by the second. Alex makes his way to their shared bedroom shutting off the living room light on the way. Alex places Nigel on the bed telling Nigel to “wait he will be back in a second” going to the closet changing from his outside clothes to a pair of sweatpants, he then goes back over to Nigel changing his stained shirt and replacing it with a clean one.

Alex lays down bringing Nigel close to himself and placing soft kisses on his face and neck before they finally went to sleep. 😍(finally) 

 

(Smoking hot lady 😍)

THE NEXT MORNING

Alex pov:

I woke up to the smell of coffee, I stretch and open my eyes to see Nigel gone from the bed. I throw the blanket off of myself and walk out into the small hallway and hear my name being said. “Alex?”

I blink a couple of times and see Nigel coming up to me with a mug in his hands. I smile walking over to him raping my arms around him in a bear hug. “Good morning handsome..” I say placing a kiss on his neck.

“happy anniversary,” I tell him pulling away from my hug and looking into his eyes. “I’m sorry for keeping secrets. I’m sorry for putting you under so much stress—“ I was cut off by Nigel giving me a slow and gentle kiss, he pulled away and said, “you're a dick, and a liar.” I smile and give him an Eskimo kiss. “Let me get your gift.” I peck his lips and walk back into our room pulling out a small black wooden box.

Nigel’s pov:

I woke up by the sun hitting my face I look at Alex peacefully sleeping next to me, I can’t entirely recall what happened yesterday but I do remember most of it. I sigh and get up walking into the living room looking at the mess I left.

I cleaned up the bottle of wine throwing it away while folding and putting the pillows and blankets back into their original spots. I stretched and walk back into the kitchen making myself a cup of coffee. I stood in the kitchen with my thoughts running freely inside my mind until I hear the old wooden floorboards of our apartment creek.

“Alex?” I say walking into our living room to see him standing in the middle of the hallway with his head hanging low. Once he heard me call out to him he lifts his head smiling while coming over to me, he raps me into a hug saying “good morning handsome..” and placing a kiss onto my neck. I shiver at the feeling of his lips on me.

I’m caught off guard when he says “happy anniversary.” He pulls away from our hug and looks into my eyes. Before I can say anything in return he follows up by saying “I’m sorry for keeping secrets. I’m sorry for putting you under so much stress—“ before he can finish his apology I kiss him It was simple and sweet.

“you’re a dick, and a liar,” I say after pulling away from the kiss. He smiles giving me an Eskimo kiss. “Let me get your gift.” He tells me pecking my lips before rushing off into our room.

third person pov:

Alex walks out of their room with a small black wooden box in his hands and visibly stressed.

“Nigel I know I haven’t been the best to you over the past few months but I hope this makes up for it because if it doesn’t all the time I’ve spent working would just be wasted and I don’t know if— let me just get straight to the point…Nigel I know I haven’t been the best I love you more than anything and I would love to be able to spend the rest of my life with you…” Alex gets down on one knee opening the box and finally ask the question he’s been wanting to ask for the longest.

“Will you marry me?”

Nigel stands there frozen. He’s lost for words he never thought Alex would propose. Meanwhile Alex is getting more and more nervous because Nigel still hasn’t said anything.

“Nigel..?” Alex questioned voice shaking. So many thoughts were running throughout his head, god this was a mistake he doesn’t want to marry your dumb ass, why would he u basically ignored him for 3 months. Alex tells himself breathing heavier and heavier by the second growing more stressed.

Nigel’s eyes start to water a little bit and he whispers “of course”

“What?” Alex questions desperate to know Nigel’s answer.

“I said of course.”

Alex sighs and stands up his whole body relaxing, he walks over to Nigel looking into his eyes and down at his hand before grabbing the other boy's hand and placing the ring onto it the latter doing the same. big smiles placed on their faces.

Alex places his forehead onto Nigel’s putting his arms around Nigel’s body hugging his now fiancé. Nigel does the same and says.

“happy anniversary”

they’re finally united as one guys

(y’all I half-assed the ending but tell me if u want a part.2 idk if I will make one but if this does ok I might. Sorry if this is bad as well I have written anything in a hot minute. And there are probably a lot of spelling errors) 

[changedlives]

GOD IS IN THE DETAILS

Shalom Bishop and Harvesters I have been a member of Harvest for over six months.  I can assure you that Bishop Kevin Foreman’s leadership at this church was exactly where I needed to be planted from the beginning.  I would describe myself as a positive, upbeat person. However, I was wrecked, anxious, and depressed on the inside. Since joining Harvest, I’ve had a ton of testimonials. However, I was unable to keep this one to myself.  My adult children required my support last year.  In order to assist, I moved everything. To help everyone achieve financial freedom, I set up a rent to own arrangement so that we could all live in the same home.  It didn’t really happen that way, I’ll say next. My kids didn’t have enough money because they were so accustomed to me taking care of everything. My expenses will be in addition to theirs, leaving me to bear those costs. I didn’t use my TSP to buy the house; instead, I paid the down payment out of my own pocket.  Within the year,  my credit score dropped about 200 points as a result of my massive debt accumulation. Well, I had been praying and having faith in God since I know that he is in the details. I think this year will be unlike any other for the rest of it. I’m going to have a great year this year. I know that faithful givers flourish, and I am one, despite being without and having nothing for a moment. There were times when I would look forward to receiving a check but all of my creditors would take it before I could even fill up my car with gas. The whole thing took place over the course of a year. In my entire life, I have never been in this situation.  With the house, I was $11,272 in debt.  I had to go to court last Monday and was excited about what was about to happen.  I believe I was the only person in the courthouse who was smiling.  When they called my name, the judge told me to go see the lawyer.  Long story short, when we returned to court before the judge, they had dismissed the entire $11, 272. I burst into tears right there. They told me I was a lucky lady, but I told them I was blessed beyond measure.  My children and I will live separately again, and our relationship will not be damaged as a result of what transpired.  The following three months will be my greatest ones, according to Bishop.  Currently, I just have this one testimonial; my next one will be…I’ll make six figures, I promise.  I can already see it coming together.

[sumitachin]

I asked to meet today.. wished I didn't.

Wished I didn't get those ribs, or sing that birthday song..

.....

You've been so cold the whole day. I tried to be okay and I guess it didn't matter to you.

I said I feel so distant from you, and nothing changes since.

You suggested ice cream, I should have said no.

You asked me how my day was. I don't think you actually wanted to hear. You gave me such cold responses.

The conversation at the ice cream shop felt like knives piercing through. Then you left me while I was in tears. With people staring, the almost untouched ice cream and waffles and the completely naked vulnerable me. Anxious..

You came back, ate some and forced me to look at you and claimed that I pushed you away because I refused to look at you and you asked to leave.

Sitting in the car. You continued.. "... I should have just kept quiet, I communicated and now this is what I get. That's why I'm scared, I'm so scared. Next time I'll just keep quiet."

I have always been loud. I noticed that about myself. But unfortunately some ppl labelled me because of that. I've got loud speaker, indian newspaper.. today I've got aggressive from you. My loudness is usually accompanied by my emotions.. I didn't know this could be something so wrong. I was told to change?

I have on many occasions toned down my way of speaking.. but when I get excited or anxious or frustrated, I can be loud.. it's an involuntary action that brings no bad intentions..

You asked me to talk, I have no capacity. And you started again.. "...I need space too. You need time I also need time. If you're ready to talk and I'm not, I hope you give me the space I need. You can text me when you're ready. I will do the same. It doesn't have to be tonight. We can talk tmr.. when you drive back home, just pray to God, you need that."

My prayers have already started this morning. It never stopped. Don't tell me what to do.

Today, I felt so many attacks from you. You were cold and unkind and almost unappreciative.. first, you read into the things I said, now I need to be careful of the words I use. Then you be cold to me. Then you said I'm aggressive. The whole day, I'm just not good enough. So I need to watch what I say, I need to watch my tone of saying things. Even though the reason we met tonight was because I wanted to surprise you but I guess that didn't matter one bit. Me sharing my day with you didn't matter one bit. I could see the expression on your face. Cold conversation..

I'm shutting down.. I just really want to run away..

For the first time today, I felt numb.

For the first time today, I don't feel like I want to be in a relationship.

God, today I finally understood - finding satisfaction in You. You are enough for me.

[faithisthekey-23]

Work of Angels – Guardian Angels

We are never alone. We have our Guardians. Just like some people have their bodyguards, all of us are surrounded with protection that was given to us by our Almighty God, the King of the whole universe. Who gives us the protection that is way beyond our minds, for it never fails? Our Angels, of course. Now, let's take a look at how Angels work:

1. Guardian Angels As we know, we all have our Angels. They all have the same task: to help us in our daily lives. It sounds not ordinary, right? But let me tell you that their job isn't boring. All of them protect you on every way you go, during the day and at night. They also have the important role to, for example remind you to pray. Do you want to get to know my testimony? If you want to, then let's go! :)

In the beginning of the year 2020, I could tell that the health of my grandpa is slowly getting worse. However, there was nothing that I could do besides helping my mum to take care of him. He was already sick for a few years and I could feel that he won't be with us for too long. I started to seek help in The Most High - our God Almighty. I was so desperate (and also still young) that I actually asked God to count one day of me praying to one more day of my grandpa's life. As much as bad this prayer request was, for I was was very desperate, didn't want to see my grandpa leave so soon, God heard my prayers. Moreover, He made sure that I remembered to pray. Sometimes I remembered about it, sometimes I didn't. However, when I didn't, He reminded me that I should pray. How? I felt someone poking me on my shoulder where there was no one besides me. How do I know that it was my Guardian Angel and not someone or something bad? Well, after I felt this poking, I was still calm. I didn't feel anxious, not even for a moment. Also, after I felt it, I was immidiately reminded that I haven't prayed yet. If it was something ungodly, then it wouldn't remind me to pray when I was almost asleep, right? :)

They are also there when you are in danger - whether it is the danger for your spirit or for your physical health. How do we know about it? Well, it was revealed in the Psalm 91: "¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; ¹² they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone".

I would love to share with you a testimony that I watched some time ago. I will put the link there. You can also simply type "That moment an angel made our car fly" and watch in on YouTube channel called Sid Roth's It's Supernatural.

Recommendation: Psalm 91

[t0shii]

how they comfort you in a crowded place

including bokuto kotaro, aran ojiro, miya atsumu, oikawa toru, suna rintaro x gn!r

!warnings! mentions of anxiety & large crowds, slight panic attack, mentions of flashing lights & cameras, lightly proofread.

BOKUTO KOTARO.

it might take him a minutes to realize you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed and as soon as he does realize he's asking you what he needs to do to help you. never lets go of your hand!

You loved that your boyfriend kotaro had so many supporters but sometimes it was a bit overwhelming. for example, right now you both were arriving at the gym for the match his volleyball team was playing that night. fans basically swarmed your car and even the security guards were having a hard time holding them back.

you could feel yourself start to panic as they inched closer and closer, squeezing your eyes shut as you hooked your arm around your boyfriend's. at first he thought nothing of it, until he looked back at you and saw your eyes closed, face looking a little pale, sweat forming on your forehead. he took your hand immediately and pulled you securely under his arm, leaning down to your ear, "we're almost to the gym baby, just a little bit longer. im so sorry." he said to you, kissing the top of your head right after which only seemed to make the fans go even more wild.

he hugged you real tight as soon as you both got into the gym and apologized repeatedly, didn't let you leave his sight until you were feeling better but gave you space whenever you asked for it.

ARAN OJIRO.

knows you can get anxious in a large crowd so he tries his very best to avoid large crowds of fans or reporters. is really protective of you and WILL give anyone who tries to get too close the dirtiest look you didnt even know he was capable of.

Unfortunately, the gym his game was taking place it, was surrounded by fans. "i thought i specifically asked for a blocked area?" he complained to the driver. "i think theres just too many fans to control" the driver responded, looking for the drop off spot. "i'm so sorry angel, i told them to have a blocked off area for us" he explained, grabbing your hand and squeezing it tightly. you reassured him it was fine and there as nothing he could've done about the situation and that you should be fine because the gym wasn't so far away.

as soon as you two stepped out of the car it was absolute chaos. fans screaming for aran, reporters cameras flashing repeatedly yelling questions at him, trying their very best to get close to him. the secure guards were doing there best to hold them off though. all you could do was close your eyes and let your boyfriend lead the way, he never once let go of your hand the whole way there.

as soon as you got into the gym he checked to make sure you were okay, asking if you needed anything. "i'm fine ojiro, really, i'm okay." you assured him, kissing his cheek. he embraced you in a big hug. "i'm so proud of you angel." said with a smile into the crook of your neck.

MIYA ATSUMU.

oh lord... we all know how he feels about obnoxious fans LMAO. good luck to them if they make you uncomfortable in any way ESPECIALLY if they get too close. tsumu knows you hate crowds and he tries so hard to avoid them at any cost possible.

"What the fuck is this?" he mumbled at he saw the crowd forming by the drop off area, "i'm not sure sir but there really isnt time to wait, the rest of the team's' cars are behind us." the driver responded earning a groan from your boyfriend. "'m sorry, baby" he whined looking at you with glossy eyes. "no no, it's okay 'tsum. it's not your fault. the gym's not too far anyways, i think i'll make it." you joke intertwining your hands. he nods in response and both exit the car.

seconds later fans rushed toward the two of you, screaming for 'tsumu and flashing their camera. honestly you were fine until you looked over and a teenage girl was right beside you all in your personal space, atsumu never noticing because he was so focused on getting to the gym as soon as possible. "tsumu-", he turned his head towards you as soon as he heard you say his name. he immediately s aw the girl trying to get his attention was all over you so he pulled you away from her, put you infront of him and ignored her the rest of the way to gym. it was really like a scene from a movie

as soon as the two of you stepped in the gym he was making sure you were okay and asking if you needed anything. he hugged you really tight and apologized for all the people. "'m so sorry that girl baby i dont know what her deal was, she was all over you, not cool at all. should i make sure they don't let her in the gym? i don't want her anywhere near you." you chuckled at his question, "no 'tsum, she probably didn't even realize what she was doing. i'm okay now, really." he nodded his head at your response, "as long as you're okay." he said nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

OIKAWA TORU.

he loves the attention he gets from his fans but he will always always put your safety before their attention & dont let anyone else tell you otherwise. hates when his fans gets too close to you and when they crowd around the both of you, he didn't mind it before the two of you got together but when you told him you didn't like crowds he always does his best to avoid them.

"looks like there's a crowd toru." you say with a pout. "whaaat?" he groaned looking up from his phone. why did they have to follow the two of you to the airport? he thought to himself. he just wanted to get on the plane in peace. "oh no." he sighed looked at all the fans who had lined up to send the two of you off, luckily it the crowed wasn't too big considering it was 4 in the morning.

"i'm so sorry angel, i didn't think they'd follow us here this early," he explained with a frown."no no toru, it's not your fault at all! don't apologize" you assure him, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "let me step out and tell them to keep their distance." you nodded and he stepped oit

you giggled as you hear him ask his fans to stay away from you when you exit the car he. stays out and chats with the fans for a few minutes before it was time to go into the airport. fortunately his fans were super understanding and chill when you stepped out of the car, saying hi to you and wishing you both a safe flight. he still made sure you were okay even though the fans kept their distance like they promised and pampered your face im kisses filled with love and a whispered, "im so proud of you angel."

SUNA RINTARO.

god he hates crowds himself so he completely understands you. he doesnt like when fans crowd him and especially when they crowd around you since he knows it makes you anxious.

"just stay close okay?" your boyfriend mumbled in your ear as he took your hand and helped out of the car. you responded with a quiet "mhm". i hate these people, he thought to himself. not only did he already hate crowds, he hated when there was a crowd around you. honestly, you couldn't even see straight because of all the flashing cameras and it didn't help that all the fans around were pushing in closer and closer, the two of you could barely even move as it was. all you could do was squeez your eyes shut and pray you got to the gym faster than the fans could trample over you to get a an autograph or a picture from your boyfriend.

rintaro was squeezing your hand so tightly by the time you both stepped into the gym you thought your hand was gonna fall off and you could barely even control your breathing, he immediately pulled you into an embrace, not too tight though, kissing the crown of your head and rubbing your back soothingly, "im so sorry baby, you did so well." was all he said over and over again, trying his best to ease you while his teammates stumbled in behind the two of you complaining about the crowd.

after your breathing had calmed down he gave you space whenever you wanted it making sure to check up on you periodically. "im okay now rin, you can go practice now." you reassure him, with a kiss on the cheek of course. he agreed after a while but was still worried about you the whole practice and for most of the game after that.

a/n omg i rlly like writing for aran AHH ok ummmm thanks for reading p.s. oikawa would be so chill with his fans after highschool UGH everyone says theyre rude but i hc the opposite 😌😤

[artzee-bee]

Vanilla and strawberries| Mazikeen x cottagecore!Reader

Fandom: Lucifer

Summary: Maze and cottagecore!reader have breakfast together

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

~~~

Sure, Maze had never been to your house before and sure, you were a big softie in your floral mini dressed and puff sleeved blouses but a cottage in the middle of nowhere? You chose to live here? Of all places? It seemed inconvenient to say the least, the closest town being a 30 minute car ride away .

The house in itself was an old, rustic cottage. The brick walls were ornate with white trims for the windows and wallflowers that Maze didn’t know the name of but could already hear you in her head, picking up every individual one between your little fingers and telling her all about them. She smiled at the thought. A little pathway led her to your front door, which looked like something out of a fantasy novel: circular at the top, with a flower crown for decoration. Somewhat unsure, she knocked on your door and soon enough, you answered. Dressed in a light pink summer dress, flowy, but tight in the waist, you were as beautiful as ever, if not more beautiful in the morning light.

“Maze! You came!” you said, wrapping your arms around her waist and pulling her into a hug

“Of course. What else could I have possibly been doing if not breakfast with my favorite girl?” you giggled. It wasn’t often that your girlfriend allowed herself to be soft and cutesy, so cheesy things like that meant more to you than they would have any other time, coming from anyone else.

“Come on in! I have almost everything set up.”

Your excitement was intoxicating and even though Maze felt out of place a minute ago, in her tight leather pants and black top, she forgot all about it when she saw your smile and heard the joy in your voice. It just reminded her again of why she loved you so much: you were the kindest, most positive person she knew and you helped her change for the better too.

“Take your shoes off please, I’ll bring you a different pair” you said, already searching frantically around the house. By the time Maza finished unzipping both her boots, you came back with a pair of bunny slippers, white and fluffy, looking brand new. A cheeky smile on your face suggested you knew that Maze would never normally wear anything like that but you still tried. To your surprise, she took them from your hands carefully and slipped them on

“How are they?” Maze made a few steps, looking down at them, examining everything from the pearly eyes of the bunnies to the puff ball at the back, imitating a tail

“Cozy?” she said unsure, making you laugh

“Come!” you grabbed her hand and led her down the hall and through the kitchen.

The kitchen was a mess, the counter was full of egg shells and spilled milk.  An opened bag of sugar was sitting way too close to the edge and a gold spoon with pink details was peeking from the top. 

You let go of Maze’s hand, going to grab two mugs from the cabinet, except when you turned around, you catch her playing with the dead rose petals that had fallen from the bouquet you had on the table

“Oh, yes.” you say “Should have cleaned those up a while ago” Maze laugh

“Is this the one I gave you?” she said, pointing at the few roses still alive in your vase

“Yeah. From our last date”

“In that case I can’t believe they survived this long”

“I take good care of them” Maze gave you a sweet smile . She was looking at you with love and compassion and you felt yourself melt under her gaze

“I know you do” Maze wrapped her arm around your waist and brought you closer to her, wrapping you in a  tight hug. Your arms linked around her waist and your head rested on her shoulder. You inhaled her strong perfume, which reminded you of Lux. Of the dark and the people and the booze. It had never been your scene, until you found Maze. Now you felt a certain thrill when you thought about that place

“You know” you said “If we don’t go now the bees might get to our breakfast first” Maze giggled and nodded, allowing you to take her hand and lead the way. You wrapped your fingers around hers and pulled her up the stairs and through your bedroom. 

Your bedroom looked just as Maze imagined it. The peach colored walls were covered in drawings and prints of flowers and artwork. Vines were spread out across the ceiling, little paper butterflies peeking from in between. Almost every corner, desk and chair in the room held a little potted plant. Right in front of her was your little balcony. You had two chairs and a little table there. As she approached, she couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the endless field that was (partly) your back yard.

“It’s so pretty” she said, without even thinking much about it

“I know” you replied “You should see the sunset”

“I want to”

“You could stay tonight?” you replied nervously, praying to God she will say yes because you could not think of a better way to spend your night

“I will'' Maze replied enthusiastically. You couldn’t help the smile on your face, but you needed to focus back on setting up the table.

For the first time, Maze looked at the table you had prepared for them. It was filled to the brim with all sorts of food. Maze saw eggs and bacon and pancakes and a whole platter of cheeses. You prepared tea and fruits and all kinds of jams. Maze was amazed at how many things you were able to fit on there, but she was excited. She couldn’t remember the last time she ate anything other than take out and knowing you put so much work and effort into this breakfast, just because she was coming over, made Maze want to cry on the spot. She’s never felt this welcome anywhere before!

You two dug into everything. Maze loved hearing the excitement in your voice talking about the process of cooking everything on the table. She loved hearing about your painting and the interesting new book you were reading, by some philosopher with a funny name that you were really interested in. She didn’t exactly care for philosophy, she knew everything she needed to know, about life and death, but hearing you talk and watching all your exaggerated hand gestures was a kind of heaven she was never used to. She loved you. She’d told you that before but everytime felt like the first for her. The same nervous gitter and the anxious pit in her stomach, making her wonder if you were going to say it back. You always did. She watched the wind play with your hair and the bows on your sleeves, and felt the need to jump into your arms and kiss you softly. Feel the heat of your body and taste your coconut chapstick but instead, she scooted her chair closer to yours, just enough to reach out to hold your hand. It was warm and soft and Maze thought that if she wasn’t careful enough she might cut you with one of her rings. 

You asked her about Lux and Lucifer and she told you everything there was to know. About Lucifer and Decker’s new relationship drama and about Linda and her baby and how much Maze wanted to hang out with the little baby more but she was afraid

“Afraid of what?” “That I will hurt him. Or that he might hate me and cry. I’ll scare him and we’ll never grow up to be friends”

“Maze, what are you even talking about?” your giggle was soft and full of good intentions “You are not as horrible with kids as you think you are, ok? Take Trixie for example”

“Trix is much older”

“Still a kid though. And she loves you” Maze couldn’t argue with you on that

“Look” you said, seeing that your girlfriend was still lost in thoughts, “ How about I give you some tips?”

How many of those tips actually stuck to Maze was up to debate but the sound of your voice was engraved in her head and in her heart and if she could listen to it everyday for the rest of her life, she would. She couldn’t help herself from reaching out every once in a while to kiss your lips. You tasted like vanilla and strawberries and your palm was cold against the back of Maze’s neck. When it got windy out, you brought a big knitted blanket from inside, and wrapped it around the both of you. Maze rested her head on your shoulder and tried to take in every little detail about that moment. She’ll need it when she replays this whole scene in her head, once she gets home.

[thefallenbibliophilequote]

You Are In Love

Loki x Reader

1989, epilogue

"You are in love, true love."

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the stark tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 7,106

Warnings: some angst, some unreliable narrator, fluff, me being a hopeless romantic.

A/N: this is the very end- the epilogue, and it is based on the 1989 deluxe song You Are In Love. I really think this is important to the story despite it being an epilogue because I based some of the things solely because I wanted a scene here to happen, I needed that scene. Okay idk how this got so long, I'm sorry! Also, not me stealing quotes from my favourite book… I cried writing this.

A/N2: thank you to @chrissquares for all the incredible dividers she made for my series, and for @nacho-bucky who beta read it all and managed to put up with me. I appreciate you two so much, I love y'all!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

Song on Spotify and YouTube

The room was dark and silent as you got into bed, playing the same thing that has been in your mind for weeks now. You heard him in your head, and saw him in your mind as you went to sleep. It hasn't been long since you first saw Loki, but he plagued your mind. Being asleep did not make him go away. You shut your eyes.

The wind felt cold on your skin but your palm was warm as he held you close. When you looked down you found yourself in a dark golden gown, a smile spread on your lips when you looked into his eyes and he took you to dance with him. You saw nothing but him as he twirled you around, your surroundings did not matter as the whole world stood in silence, the two of you were only focused on each other. You were wonderstruck, dancing around with him and looking at his bright blue eyes, you prayed he won't let you go. He only held you lightly with the palm of his hand and the arm around your waist but you felt enough.

He whispered in your ear terms of endearment and you could feel yourself blush. He twirled you around and out of his reach. You danced around all alone, until you turned around and saw Loki sitting on the back of a car, his hand inviting you. You felt your confusion go away as you climbed up to sit next to him, your jeans barely touched his black pants. Then he talked to you.

"Do you remember?" You heard his voice say to you and you turned your head.

"What?" You sat there when Loki talked to you.

"Look up." You heard his voice say to you and you turned your head up and looked at the stars, and your shoulders brushed. A shudder of warmth coursed through you as you saw the brightest star in the sky. You turned your eyes on Loki and the lights turned out.

You woke up in a shudder, heaving, you looked at the clock that mocked you. 1:58.

You turned to the other side of the bed and hoped sleep would take you quietly this time.

•

Loki walked along the bifrost, his heart was beating and racing, it didn't matter how many times he visited Heimdall, he was still anxious for his answer every time.

"Heimdall," Loki greeted the guardian.

"Prince Loki, are you going to ask the same question every time?" Heimdall looked over at the distressed prince. He remembered seeing him, when he was so young, so happy when he snuck him out at night so he can go to see the human woman he fell so hard for. He remembers Loki coming back in the morning with a smile on his face that he has never seen on him before; he remembers the young innocent prince showing him the necklace he carved especially for you, with his insignia on it; he remembers him being hopeful for the future- with you.

"I just want to know how she is."

Now he is an idiot.

"Just like she was the last time you asked me." Loki merely nodded, looking down on the ground. Heimdall waited for him to ask the other question he always asked.

"Is she- is she seeing someone?" Loki kept his eyes down, he held his breath.

"No." Heimdall tried to comfort the prince but he knew the answer won't do. Loki nodded to him, he never knew if he liked the answer or if he wanted you to find someone and be happy even if it is without him.

"Is she happy?"

"Yes, she is. She is happy and content," Heimdall stepped forward and put a hand on Loki's shoulder. "But it's been four years- don't you think there is a reason why she is still alone?"

"She just hasn't found-"

"She won't find someone who will make her happy like you did."

Loki refused to be selfish like he was in the past with you. Now that he understood what you asked him all those years ago at sunset, he refused to destroy your peace. Yet, he refused to forget you.

"However, your highness, she will not be available forever." Loki finally looked up at him, "and forever is not a lot of time for mortals."

"Then what am I to do about it?" Loki has told Heimdall a great deal about you, he never told his mother about you but since Heimdall was the only one who knew- Loki conversed with him after you had a fight, gushed to him about new midgardian stuff you taught him, and Loki knew that he didn't have to hide you from him.

"Do not sabotage your own happiness, it is not a selfish act if both of you will be happy from it. She will be happy to see you again, I can see that." Heimdall looked into the prince's eyes and hoped he could bring some sense to him.

He almost missed the way his eyes shone for just a moment, before the prince turned away to go back to the palace.

"Thank you, Heimdall, truly." Loki turned to him briefly before turning once again.

He wasn't as uncertain as he thought he would be; he pondered as he made his way across the rainbow bridge.

•

You woke up yet again alone, another sleepless night made you long for something you didn't have, leaving you tired. You reluctantly got out of bed, closing the curtains and concealing daylight and opting instead to turn on the lights. You had a long day ahead of you, so you shook the blue eyes that haunted you from your mind, you could almost see them in the shadow at the corner of your room.

It was just a trick of the light. You checked.

You walked out the door, not before taking a double look at the apartment, it was empty but… it felt wrong. You could almost see a silhouette, you must have been losing your mind, you thought, as you turned out the lights and walked to work. But right before you closed the door you sneaked one last glance, and you could still see it with the lights out.

Work had been tedious, Pepper was busy which meant that so were you, but at least you amused yourself in your breaks. Seeing the competitive supersoldiers spar on the mat sure could bring a smile to your face any day.

You weren't lonely by any means, you were happy with your new family that seemed to adopt you the moment you got the job, you were happy with your job, but from time to time you couldn't help but feel… hollowed. Something was not quite right, something was missing and you couldn't figure it out. Sure, you didn't have a boyfriend but that wasn't it. Every guy that hit on you just seemed wrong, you didn't feel the need to get one. You were satisfied and happy… was that enough?

You buttoned your coat to shield you against the autumn chill as you went back home. Happy suggested driving you, Tony basically commanded it but you sneaked out as he was arguing with someone on the phone, waving Happy goodbye as the elevator doors closed. You felt like walking today.

Autumn air swept past you as you walked, you looked through store windows at the TV, one reporter was talking about how there were sightings of the evil god of mischief. You stood there and stopped to look at it, could you have missed him? You remembered when you saw him at the Avengers Tower- when you first met him at the Tower- he left too soon, you fixed yourself in your own mind and watched as the reporter showed pictures after rambling about how dangerous it is.

Your heavy chest breathed again when you saw the photos- Steve's hair has not been like that in years, this was not recent. You shook your head and continued walking.

You remembered when he passed by you, you remember the chill of him that for some reason gave you warmth. And now in the cold weather you could feel it all over again on your way home. You could imagine it, and it was so real there, him being on your left, you could almost feel him breathing on your neck.

You opened your eyes and looked over your shoulder. He wasn't there.

Long story short, you were sure you were going insane- having an unexplainable crush on a god you met once upon a time, what was it? Four year ago? You hoped your mind would stop listening to your heart this one time.

You met him one time, you talked a bit before he passed by you, meeting him was rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky- that is what you told yourself at least, when days passed and you remembered him but you didn't see him again.

You shook your head again, shaking him away, you were just chasing shadows and there was no point in that. You knew that and wished logic would calm your racing heart.

•

Loki stepped into the Allfather's throne room and dismissed all the other Asgardians that were there.

"My son, what are you doing?" Odin rose up before he saw the look on Loki's face and with a raised interest he sat down as Loki went up the golden stairs.

"I have a request, it is important to me."

"And you came to ask me to grant it?" Odin raised a brow and studied the god of mischief, doubtful with every moment that went by. This sure is intriguing.

"I am afraid you are the only one that will be able to fulfill my wish." Loki's thoughts were still messy in their silence, scattered in ways he didn't try to collect. He thought about it the whole way to the palace. Even when he was satisfied here, and when he and Thor became true brothers after everything went down… it still wasn't home. It isn't home- it never was since he met you.

"Well do tell me what made you so desperate that you came to me?" Loki took a breath in.

"My love." He breathed out.

"The mortal midgardian girl?" Odin seemed to understand the situation. He never thought it would come from Loki, he never thought anyone would come to him for it, especially not the prince. "What would you want me to do?"

"The one thing only the Allfather is capable of doing." Loki lifted his head up and looked at his father with determination. He was certain with his decision.

•

Loki walked the rainbow bridge feeling different and yet the same all at once- he felt new. But with one weight lifted, another dread took its place.

Heimdall nodded at him with a small smile and Loki found himself returning it, it reminded him of the first night he came back to Asgard after meeting you in Midgard. Heimdall always knew from the start.

He stepped into the Avengers Tower, knowing that by this hour you were probably back at your apartment- at home. He stepped into the living room and found the witch, the billionaire, and the captain there sitting around on the several couches.

"Loki?"

"Captain," The god nodded to him in recognition. He wasn't quite sure what to say.

"What are you doing here?" the god walked around to stand in front of the three avengers.

"I've come to a decision."

"I used to want the Throne, father." Loki continued, "The very one you are sitting on, or the one I'd put on Midgard. As the rightful heir to the throne, and as the King of Jotunheim, I deserve that.

"I was born for it- and so, I used to want the throne. I used to think myself superior to everyone in the nine realms, the mortal midgardians out of all… that was until I met her, my love. When you met your love, father, it didn't change you. You caused ruin and shed blood and now you are sitting on a throne built on that in a world that now I am fit to rule." Loki did not let the Allfather speak in between. He deserved this, he knew that now.

"During the time you were away and under my spell, I made Asgard prosper… look how well it all turned out," he chuckled bitterly. "I used to want the throne but now I realize I just wanted to be acknowledged for my abilities, for my wit, instead of being shadowed to the side- all because you decided to pick up a baby and use it as political gain only to find it useless." Loki took a breath to close his eyes, he remembered it all, he remembered the day he found out about it all, about his glorious purpose his father planned for him.

"And Then I met my love, and she saw everything- all of that-inside me already without me having to prove it to her. She made me realize that I have nothing to prove to you- an abuser who calls himself king.

While Thor is my brother, and I acknowledge that I still am both Odinson and Laufeyson, this is not the home I thought I could make it out to be… by fixing everything else and making the people love me, fear me, acknowledge me. Even when my mother was here, I was not able to be fully myself, not here, not like I was whenever I'd sneak out of Asgard to be with her." Loki smiled, thinking about all of your moments together.

"Those were the sole moments where I felt what a home should feel like- though I never had anything to compare it to, and you made me think that somehow I should be grateful for you- for taking me here instead of dying in the cold, even though you were planning to use me as bait to gain advantage on your opponent.

Then I found her and she warmed her way into my heart and despite it all she still loves me and cares for me and I know that if I ever had a home… it wasn't on Jotunheim or here with my brother- it was with her: In a small apartment in Midgard, surrounded by mortals.

"And so, yes I am the rightful king of Jotunheim and a prince of Asgard, god of mischief… but I also have a home waiting for me in Midgard and I also am in love. And only now I realize all I want I can get, which is the home that I gave up on all those years ago- trying to make this home better. I don't want the throne anymore.

"So now, now I choose her."

"You decided to come back?" The witch leaned forward and asked him, he was about to nod when the captain spoke up.

"What about you saying that you want her to have peace?" Steve crossed his arms and rose up, "You said that as a god you won't be able to give her a peaceful life?"

"Yeah what changed in the last few years?" Tony continued sipping on his drink, casually looking over at the god with an arched eyebrow.

"Well, I came to a few realizations about her and myself which is why I am here now." Loki started, "now I can be what she needs me to be, if she will take me back."

"She still thinks of you, her thoughts are so loud sometimes." Wanda smiles at him, he is still wary with her after she saw inside of his mind. "How did you change then?"

"Well," Loki took a breath. "The ruling god, the Allfather, has the ability to revoke the immortality of a god. And so- I asked my father to take away my immortality."

They stared at him in silence, one in disbelief, one studying him, and one confused.

"So now if I stab you, you will die?" Stark asked and the god rolled his eyes.

"The Asgardian gods were never immortal, we are almost immortal, so even if you had stabbed me before I could have died- I however doubt you would have managed to do any harm to me." Loki dismissed the small man.

"Wait, what about your… magic?" Steve asked and one shrug later an identical Captain America stood in front of him, smirking.

"Patriotism, Justice, god bless America!" Loki shapeshifted back to himself before continuing, "I still have my magic, powers, and the rest of the qualities as the god that I am- that make me way above all of you- I am just not as immortal, and I will be able to live with her properly."

"So, you are like a supersoldier." Steve nodded in understanding, and Loki smiled slightly.

"Yes, but a lot more powerful and better."

Steve shook his head but let out a small laugh.

"So when are you going to see her?"

"Well, I think I wasted enough time already." Loki let out a chuckle, and he didn't even bother hiding the excitement in his blue eyes.

•

Loki hoped his excitement, as well as his nervousness, were hidden- he gave up using illusions around you a long time ago, and it was very long ago but he didn't want to use them now. This time he was going to make it right.

It was weird, not having unlimited time anymore. But his doubts about the decision stopped when you opened the door after hearing his soft knocks.

Your eyes were beautiful, they always were but he missed them terribly, now they were filled with a mix of confusion and excitement. He couldn't help the slight smirk that slipped out across his lips- at least he still had that affect on you.

You had a hard time processing who was at your doorstep, but you could already feel the butterflies blooming in your stomach. So long trying to suppress your weird crush. It seems to be inevitable now that he showed up years later.

When you saw his smirk you realized you must have been staring at him longer than you should have.

"Loki?" his name tasted weird on your tongue, you couldn't place the little spark that flew in your mind, making your head ache a bit.

He brought his hands up and with a light green glow he held blooming flowers in his hand.

"May I come in, love?" you could barely speak with the way his blue eyes shone, like moonlight against the darkness of the night like the suit he wore.

You nodded and stepped back to let him in.

You were certain that when he walked past you and handed you the flowers he had a certain glow to him, like an aura that was visible to the naked eye, it both calmed you down and overwhelmed you, so you looked away.

"These are my favourite, how did you know?"

He turned to look at you and you couldn't help but blush, wonderstruck at the little whispers you could almost hear his eyes hold, a silent question. You couldn't answer.

"I have magic, did you forget, dear?" Loki smiled when you locked the door and turned back to him. "I can read minds."

You laughed, and what a sound it was.

"That's bullshit, I didn't think about flowers now. Can you read what I'm thinking now?" you raised a brow at him, happy to call him on his bluff- you hoped it was a bluff, you'd rather the earth swallow you alive than if he could know what you're thinking while he is here.

"You are wondering what I am doing showing up at your door close to midnight." He took a step towards you. He wasn't wrong. "A little birdie told me."

You let out a nervous chuckle when you saw him standing closer now, but it turned to anger when you understood his words.

"Steve told you?" you went around him contemplating how to kill Steve, Natasha owed you a favor after all; you muttered, "That son of a bitch…"

Loki figured he will go with your answer, it is the easier answer. You came back shortly with a vase and the flowers in the water in it.

"Do not fret, those flowers are special, they have an enchantment on them so they will not die."

At least you didn't have to worry about that, he was so considerate and normal that you almost forgot about the odd situation.

"Why are you here?" You asked and clasped your hands in front of you.

"You told me to come to you if I ever plan to take on the planet again, so here I am." He smiled at you such an honest smile, and you didn't even know why he was so happy, but you knew that smile will linger in your mind like a tattoo kiss. It was so tempting to look at his lips for longer and imagine to yourself what his kiss would taste like. "If I'm honest, you've left quite an impression on me the last time we met."

"Oh?" you hoped the heat in your cheeks was not visible, you bit your lip. "Can I trust the god of mischief to be honest?"

"Of course you can, just trust me." His serious look contrasted your playful one.

"Why do only the untrustworthy people say that?" you mused and smiled at him, hoping to ease whatever tensions you felt brewing in his mind.

"Well, love, that is because the people that you know you can trust don't need to say it." He looked at his shoes and you took the time to really admire him now that he was up close and real.

"Well then, I guess you don't need to say it." You found pride in how he lifted his head and a sly smirk took over. "Do you want something to drink?"

If he was here, after all those years of only imagining him, you could ignore the odd situation just so you could make him stay a little longer this time.

"I'd like that, thank you." You invited him to your kitchen as you made yourself some tea.

"What would you like?"

"Coffee is good." He wondered how far he could take it with you, letting a gentle glow almost reach you when you turned around and he stopped.

"Coffee at midnight?" you questioned him, "Okay, what kind of coffee do you like?"

"I am a god, love, it doesn't affect me the way it affects you," he laughed when you rolled your eyes. "Pick whatever you think I would like."

You nodded at him with a shy smile. You turned away from him and made his coffee as he sat around you at the isle. You felt little tickles in your brain then. You tried to shake them off somehow but when they got stronger you winced at the slight headache.

"Are you okay, love?" god, you were already getting used to the pet name he gave you.

"Yeah, just a headache- nothing tea cannot fix." You laughed and turned back to him and the headache was gone, you couldn't help but wonder if he used his magic to heal your headache. It would be stupid to assume that though, so you stayed silent and took a sip of your tea. You gave him his cup of coffee and your hands brushed- it was one touch but you felt enough to know that he will linger on your skin.

"So tell me," you broke the silence that took over as he kept looking at you with soft eyes. He hummed and urged you to continue, "How can I help you take over earth? Where do we start?"

He laughed and you promised yourself to make sure he will laugh again. And you wanted to hold him, but you held back that urge and relished his familiar- no, comforting presence as you talked through the night.

•

From there you saw Loki around more, at work or when he would invite himself into your house at night or during your day off. You fell so easily into routine with him, he filled the space in your life that used to be vacant, you never really noticed it until he had to go to Asgard for a month to deal with a meeting. He made up for it when he came back though, walking you home that night and the next night, and the one after that…

It did nothing to sooth your crush on the god, it increased it if anything. Whenever you saw him, he would sooth the headaches you were getting lately, you could almost feel the gentle almost featherlike caresses of his magic- it had to be his magic, even if he never said anything, you saw it in his eyes.

You managed to handle it until he followed you around at work- and you were surprised when the Avengers did not even comment on it or flinch.

"You look lovely as ever, my love," he picked the necklace on your neck and your breath hitched at his closeness and the way his fingers brushed your chest and throat, "Always a sight to behold."

"Oh, Loki," you always stammered at his compliments that he shamelessly threw at you, "you're so sweet thank you, I- I have to go now, I need to go to Pepper- I have work, yes work."

You cringed to yourself as you turned around and down the hallway, only to shriek in surprise when Loki suddenly materialized in front of you, causing you to fall… almost.

Loki caught you just before you hit the ground, with a hand around your waist and the other holding your hand and bringing you upwards to him. You didn't dare say a word.

"You know that with a beauty like yours Asgardian princesses could never compare- and for your steadiness I'm certain I could teach you Asgardian ballroom dancing- to help you, of course."

As if it couldn't get worse, your cheeks were heating up, and you were caught in his eyes before he thankfully let you go.

"I assure you I am steady and not clumsy, a person appearing in front of me would catch anyone off guard!" you laughed it off.

"I am not a person, dear, I am a god." At the intense look in his eyes you clutched your hands to your side, holding in a gasp you just nodded and went around him to try and get work done.

If Pepper noticed anything, she didn't comment on it.

•

As the days went on, he became bolder and bolder and you couldn't deny that you loved him courting you this way and knowing that he only has his eyes on you. On some days he was bolder, on others you took the leap to get closer to him when you noticed he was having a bad day, and sometimes he would be so gentle with you the genuine way of it made your heart soar.

It was all gentle touches and intense eyes that you still saw when you closed your eyes in the dark of the night. It was the slowest build up that made you feel like he was always there with you, whether it was in your heart or soul or body, it surrounded you in warmness you didn't know you missed.

And then he asked you out, as you showed him your favourite spot in the park. He just laughed and smiled at you and when you asked why he held your cheeks and asked you out on a date. He wanted it done properly.

So now you stood at your home in your best dress- it was green, you found it in your closet and you liked how it matched the colour of the shirt he often wore.

The doorbell rang so you looked in the mirror one more time, seeing the dress and the necklace he seemed to love. You looked around the dimly lit room and the set table and once you were sure everything was ready- you opened the door.

And there he was in all his glory, you couldn't have stopped the smile you shone at him even if you tried, he seemed to have that affect on you. You could see royalty on him, you could feel it, even when he stood there with a simple black suit.

"Hello dear," he looked you up and down, remembering another night you wore this very same dress, only you didn't wear that necklace, not yet. "You look ravishing."

"As do you, I really like this suit on you." You brushed your hand on his chest, straightening the tie. "Come on in."

Loki stepped into the room, appreciating the memories he has of all of your date nights, even those that you had before the two of you got together. He appreciated every single one of them.

Then he once again looked at you, the candles giving you a glowing aura, making you shine and his breath left him speechless.

The light reflected the chain on your neck, the one he gave you all those nights ago, that faithful night.

"Loki? What are you hiding there?" you laughed at him as you tried to circle him and see what he was clasping behind his back. Only to see green lights as he made whatever it was disappear with a smug smile on his face. "Hey that's not fair!"

He put his hands on your hips and pulled you to him as you tried, and failed, to stay stern.

"You are dating a trickster, love, you brought this on yourself." He laughed at you as a giggle escaped you before you again tried to drop the smile that gave away your true emotions. "It's your fault that you love me!"

His laugh stopped when he saw the wondering look in your eyes and he realized what he had said. Then he backed away from you.

Shaking his head, he laughed it off before putting on a smile that you knew was a cover for his true emotions. He pulled out a golden box, you had never seen something like this before. You knew he was distracting you but chose to let it go- for now, at least.

He looked at you with gleaming eyes, urging you on as you held it and opened it.

You caught your breath when you saw a golden necklace laid inside it. It was fairly simple, but it was golden and even had a glow around it. The pendant of the necklace was a simple circle that held a weird S shaped symbol on it. You looked at Loki as he took it out and held it in his hand.

"What is it, Loki?"

"That, my love, is my symbol. Two snakes circling each other, biting each other's tails, and in a way- they symbolize me."

"That is beautiful, Loki, thank you." You traced the symbol delicately- it was intricate but you could tell it was hand carved. You let him put it on you.

"This way, you will have a part of me wherever you go."

You held back tears and tuned around to face him, jumping in and hugging him close.

"You were right before, you know, I've been meaning to tell you this anyway." You pulled back only by an inch but he went and sat on the couch, so you went ahead and sat on his lap, letting his arms circle you.

"What do you mean?" he asked nervously.

"I love you."

Norns, he was so afraid to tell you back then, but now he wasn't afraid, and all he had to do was wait. He was willing to wait until you were ready, he hoped the light spells he had been casting were doing their work well, he hoped it won't be long.

•

You woke up in your bed, smiling at the golden daylight, you turned around and reached for the other side of the bed, happy to see Loki was still asleep.

It was rare to see him like this- peacefully sleeping. You lightly traced his face, careful with the light bruises he came home with. They were already healing but you still didn't like seeing them. You convinced Loki to let you clean them up, he argued about how he is a god, and yet he let you do it anyway.

"Good morning, beautiful." He murmured, still half sleeping, he grasped your hand in his and kissed the inside of your wrist.

"Good morning, handsome." You smiled at him. "You said I have you for the week, right?"

"I'm all yours, my dear." He pulled you closer now, "I have a few ideas on how to spend these days…"

You laughed and let him kiss you, you were just happy to have him home.

It was a few hours later that morning that you got out of bed, groaning at your sore muscles and chuckling to yourself at the smell of the burnt toast, it was only Sunday.

You put on his shirt and stepped outside to the kitchen.

"Will you ever not burn the toast?" he shrugged at the comment but didn't reply as he tried to break an egg into the pan.

"This is ridiculous." He grumbled to himself. "After all this time and I still don't get it."

"You didn't try to do this that long." You chuckled as he finally gave up and used his magic. "You have only been here with me for like half a year now."

"Right," he fixed himself, quickly coming back to you and serving you your breakfast the way he remembered you used to like.

"Thanks, Loki." You kissed his cheek as he sat next to you. "But how about you take the first bite?"

You bit your tongue to stop yourself from smirking.

"Now, darling, there is no need for that."

"Sure there is, I'll be very amused." You laughed at the look he gave you and how he tickled your side.

"I am not amused."

"You know, for an Asgardian you sound so British."

"False, English people sound like Asgardians." He pointed a fork at you before he ate from your breakfast, you joined in only after he approved of it to your surprise.

You sipped on your tea, sighing at the perfect morning you got to enjoy. That was when you realized that you are in love. In love with a god. You read books after you met him, you knew that this wouldn't last.

"How are your bruises? They seem to be healing okay, do they hurt?" you brushed away a strand of hair out of his face.

"I told you, darling-"

"I know, I know, you're an immortal Asgardian god, you can handle wounds like these." You laughed and hoped he wouldn't see through it. That was the one sentence from the book you read that haunts your brain. It made you remember a sunset, but you've never been with Loki to a sunset, maybe you should go sometime.

"Actually, Asgardian gods are just almost immortal. But I am not immortal anymore." He said, sensing your anxiety, hoping that this information will make it all okay, hoping you will realize that this will last.

"What? Why not?" you should not be delighted by the news, you should be worried of him getting hurt now.

"I decided to give up my immortality, while I still am a god and I assure you I am just as strong as I was before," he took your hand in his and looked into your eyes. "I decided that I want a better, more peaceful, life."

"But why would you-" you shook your head.

"I had my reasons." He kissed the back of your hand,

You nodded to him and looked away, a sinister kaleidoscope of butterflies of hope rose in your stomach.

Maybe some things last forever after all.

•

"I am both terrified and excited." You held onto Loki's arm for support, praying to any god out there that you won't mess it up and stumble.

The gown you were wearing was golden, with a dark glimmer to it, Loki was matching you in his royal suit in black, green, and gold. Loki finally took you to a ball a year into your relationship, you asked to celebrate it here and he complied

Asgard was beautiful, though you were getting a bit lightheaded from it all, it got worse when you entered the ballroom.

"I told you." Loki leaned in to whisper to you as you took in the scenery.

"What?"

"You are more beautiful than any Asgardian princesses in their best dresses." Heat rushed to your cheeks at the compliment, remembering when he so casually said it to you at the tower.

Loki remembered the night he taught you to dance, the one he finally kissed you and told you those same words.

Loki made sure to keep you away from Odin, and put an armor of magic around the two of you, hoping it would ease your headaches. And then you danced in your own little world, around and around until you got tired and Loki took you home.

•

Half a year later you were going to sleep, Loki was right there beside you, holding you close to him as you laid your head on his chest.

"Goodnight, my love."

"Goodnight… I love you."

"I love you too." Your lover kissed your head and then as you closed your eyes you felt the same tingles in your brain that you started to get whenever you went to sleep or even when you went to work.

Soon enough you fell asleep and your dreams took you along.

You wandered along places with Loki beside you. You were there with him on a high hill, staring at the sunset. "I'll treasure this moment forever." You heard him tell you but you didn't hear him- no, it was something else. You smiled at him and suddenly you were in your apartment, and you were smiling as he kissed you, you saw two paper airplanes flying around and he said- talked to you. "I told you my way was better." You heard yourself laughing at him and felt yourself bringing him back to a kiss. You were there with him as you ran through the trees until you stopped and climbed up, where was this again? "Come on, Loki, I now a place we won't be found." You giggled to him- no- you heard yourself giggling. Was this a dream anymore? With the growing headache this must be a nightmare. Since when do you have vivid dreams like this? Your apartment looked different as you danced around it with Loki. "I bet you'll look just as beautiful in an Asgardian dress. Like a true Asgardian goddess." But no- he couldn't have told you that there. You felt ecstatic as he leaned in to kiss you right there, it's your first kiss. No, it wasn't. You felt it all, you knew this was inevitable. Did you know that? Your head was spinning as you saw that golden necklace you found in your drawer. "It has my symbol on it, two snakes circling each other," biting each other's tails. No, you must have read it somewhere. Then you walked towards the spot in the park that you loved, at least that was familiar. "You will get a cold if you keep sitting in the rain, don't you have an umbrella?"Loki looked at you, he seems so much younger, you got shivers from his blue eyes. Your head hurt more and more, you didn't know where you were. All you felt was confusion. You saw the bifrost and there you saw the man with the golden eyes greeting you, he knew you- he knew everything. Did you know? "Do you remember?" Loki came home to you, with a fake smile which turned real when he said "I love you." He loved you. In Asgard yet again, why were you saying goodbye? "Promise you'll get me back, Loki." And then he bowed- but you already knew he was going to do that, the dream didn't have to tell you- "I'll see you around, my love." You remembered.

"I'm going to miss you, even if I won't know it." You did miss him, you missed him all along.

You waked, shot up from Loki's grip, with a hand over your mouth. You could hear the hushed whispers of memories in the silence of the bedroom; you could feel him on the way home even when you had nothing but his necklace; you could see it all now in a kaleidoscope of memories playing with the lights out. You were in love with him- you were in love with him over and over again. You never stopped loving him.

Now you saw it all: yes Loki was your lover, but before that- a lot of things happened before that, he was your best friend.

Loki woke up to the strange look on your face, rising up to be face to face with you. You paused before looking at him and he teared up at what he saw.

"You're my best friend." He saw you- his love- and now you saw him. And he knew what it was, you came back to him.

He took you in and held you close in a hug, laughing as tears ran both of your faces.

"So, 1989." He brought you in for a chaste kiss.

"What?"

"It's been 1989 days since the last time you remembered me." You chuckled.

"Took me that long?"

"It felt like an eternity." You tentatively caressed his cheek.

"Why did you give up eternity for me?" you asked him and he laughed as if it was obvious.

"The only way to survive eternity is to be able to appreciate each moment- and I couldn't do that, not without you." He pressed a kiss to the palm of your hand, "and now- now I get to spend my eternity with you."

You leaned in to kiss him once more, savoring it, you knew: You were ready to fall in love with him all over again.

You lost each other, but you found each other again, and somehow that was everything.

•

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @percabethismyotp14

[adhd-disaster-willie]

you're the one that brings the sun; chapter 1/6

Summary: Alex is prepared for every single variable except, apparently, the one in which his roommate is drop dead gorgeous and Alex is an absolute clusterfuck of a human being who falls for the first pretty boy on he sees on campus.

Willex roommate au! 

Warnings: Swearing

Notes: The title is from the song “I Dare You” by the Regrettes. I’ve actually planned this fic out so here’s to hoping I don’t get burned out halfway through. It might end up having 6 or 7 chapters, 5 is kind of just an estimate.

---

When Alex was 11, his mother proudly plastered his report card to the fridge and exclaimed that one day, her little boy would go to Harvard. His father gripped his shoulder with pride and Alex beamed up at his parents like they’d just told him he had superpowers. 3 years later, he was 14 and teetering on the edge of failure in the majority of his classes. He wasn’t stupid by any means, just preoccupied. He’d started a band with his best friends and that felt like the most important thing in the whole world, and high school was new and scary, so it was easier to not pour all his focus into school. His parents’ smiles faltered but they kept up hope, Alex could tell. 2 years later, he stood shaking and crying outside of the Molina’s garage and suddenly, the concept of going to college begun to feel distant and fake. But he’s 18 now, and somehow, miraculously, gazing at the piles of boxes in the back of Ray’s car and swallowing down a lump in his throat.

It sure isn’t Harvard, but a part of Alex feels giddy at the fact that he’s attending a public college that was relatively easy to get into; oh his parents would be rolling in their proverbial graves. What didn’t make him quite so happy though, was the looming fact that he’d be living with some random person, because for some godforsaken reason, the college wouldn’t allow freshmen to choose their roomates. Some bullshit about meeting new people and socializing.

“Hey, ‘Lex. Dude, you’ll be fine.” Luke shakes his shoulders, before swinging one arm around him and the other around Reggie.

“Says the one who isn’t even going to college,” Alex grumbles, slipping from Luke’s grip and into the front seat of the car.

“Yea cause I don’t need it. Not my fault you’re both nerds,” Luke retorts.

“I’m not a nerd, I just like to have insurance-”

“Yea, back-up plan, safety net, heard it a million times. Reggie’s a nerd though.”

“Old news, dude,” Alex says.

“I am not a nerd!” Reggie protests indignantly.

“Tell that to your 2 years of college credit in math.”

Luke nods in agreement. “Nerd.”

“Math is fun!”

“You’re horrible.” Alex makes a mock gagging noise.

Julie comes bounding out of the house, her arms decked with various baked goods. She tosses herself in the backseat beside Reggie and Luke, looking quite pleased with herself at being able to force Luke to sit in the middle. “Tía was apparently up all night baking,” she explains, passing the sweets up to Alex. “Don’t be surprised if she shows up at your dorm with food every day.”

Alex snorts. “I would not object to that.”

Julie sighs, leaning back in her seat. “You guys are so lucky, I’m tired of high school. Damn September birthday,” Julie grumbles. Her birthday is just after the cut off date, so she would be 18 for the majority of senior year, but is just barely too young to be in the same grade as the boys.

Reggie leans over and pats her arm sympathetically, earning an offended squeak from Luke, who’s only pushed further into the back of the seat.

“Don’t worry!” Alex chirps sarcastically. “You get to spend more time with Luke, since he’ll be squatting in your garage!”

“Oh, joy,” Julie deadpans.

“I am not a squatter!” Luke protests, kicking the back of Alex’s seat.

“No kicking! I’m holding food!”

“Y’know Alex, you’ve been staying in the studio for 2 years, you’re not one to talk!” Luke argues.

“I have a job.”

“A stupid job.”

“A stupid job that gets you free coffee.”

Reggie nodds to that, chewing on a cookie. “Can’t risk losing your coffee privileges.”

Julie groans loudly and stuck her head out the window. “DAAAAD! Let’s goooo!” She cries.

“Wow, I didn’t know you wanted to get rid of me so badly,” Alex says, clutching his chest dramatically.

“Oh shut up Lexi, I just wanna meet your’s and Reggie’s new best friends!” Julie says, laughing.

“I’m not gonna be best friends with my roommate.”

“Yea, Alex forgot how to do that!”

“Luke I will smother you in your sleep!”

At this, Ray approaches the car with a raised eyebrow. “No one’s planning a murder, I hope?” He asks, chuckling as he slides into the drivers seat.

“No sir!” Reggie replies, grinning.

“Not yet,” Alex mumbles under his breath.

“Alright boys, who’s ready for college!” Ray says, starting the car.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

---

“And that’s the last of it!” Ray claps a hand over Alex’s shoulder and smiles encouragingly.

Alex nods tensely, gripping the strap of his fannypack tighter.

The dorm’s probably as good as he’s gonna get. One reasonably sized bedroom complete with two horribly uncomfortable beds, a kitchen with a fridge that was in no way large enough to fit even a weeks worth of meals, a tiny living room that would probably fit a couch and a TV at the most, and a bathroom that smelled suspiciously of mustard. Really it isn’t terrible, but Alex has a habit of noticing every little detail, especially the ones that could be a problem at some point. His roommate hasn’t arrived yet, so he’s standing amongst his various boxes, anxiety pulsing in his chest.

Julie grips his hand tightly and smiles, tears pricking the edges of her eyes. “Hey, Alex, you’re gonna be okay.” She squeezes his hand briefly.

Alex nods, exhaling shakily. “Yea, yea I know. It’s just…”

“A change, I know. But this is a good change. And-” she hauls Reggie and Luke over to them. “-we’re all here if you need to call someone and talk. And dad, and Tía, and I bet your roommate will be super cool.”

“Or a serial killer.”

“Just pray he’s not a football player,” Reggie stage-whispers, shuddering.

“God, don’t even suggest that!” Alex whines.

Encouragements and teary hugs are passed along, as well as a promise to meet at the Olive Garden nearby for dinner in a few hours, and then Alex’s posse is off to get Reggie settled, and Alex is left alone in the dorm. Alright.

Alex takes a deep breath, steeling himself, before beginning to wander the dorm. He’s anxious to start unpacking without his roommate and risk doing something that they wouldn’t like. Even choosing a bed feels wrong, he really doesn’t want to get off on the wrong foot with this person. But leaving the dorm meant people everywhere so that was a definite no. He sighs, lowering himself to the wooden floor and pulling out his phone.

“Yea… uh huh. Yes Caleb, I got here fine. No the Uber driver did not try and kidnap me. The boxes- the boxes are not too heavy. Okay. Okay. Yea, bye. Mhm.”

Alex looks up hesitantly upon hearing the voice nearing his dorm. The person standing in the doorway is well… less of a person and more of a large stack of boxes threatening to fall over any second. “Hello?” Alex stands up and makes his way to the boy stood in the entrance.

Said boy pokes his head out from behind his boxes and grins crookedly. “Hi, uh, I’m Willie!” And well, Alex is a goner. He swallows thickly, breath catching in the back of his throat. Willie attempts to adjust the boxes but ultimately fails, sending them tumbling to the ground amongst several muttered curses. “Well… nothing fragile in there,” he falters slightly. “I think.”

“Um…”

“Right! Sorry, uh.” Willie holds his hand out and Alex shakes it tentatively.

“Alex.”

“Alex, cool.” Willie smiles again, his dark eyes twinkling as he does so, smile lines popping out. He brushes his hair -which looks so soft and pretty- behind his ear to reveal a small golden hoop on his right lobe. Alex is dead, actually 100% dead. Because he’d been prepared for every single variable except, apparently, the one in which his roommate is drop dead gorgeous and Alex is an absolute clusterfuck of a human being who falls for the first pretty boy on he sees on campus.

Alex forces out a smile, all too aware that he’s still standing stiff and awkward in front of Willie, his grip on his fannypack tight enough to make his knuckles glow white. Then Willie coughs as some sort of attempt to fill the silence. “Sorry!” Alex squeaks. “Do you need help with the… the uh, boxes?”

“Oh yea, that’d be great!” Willie replies, beaming. “I don’t think there’s anything fragile in there, but y’know, my memory is absolute shit so if I broke some fancy china dishes I didn’t even know I owned, don’t be too shocked.”

Alex laughs anxiously. “Yea uh… I didn’t start unpacking cause I um… I didn’t want to claim a bed and stuff with-without your input?” His voice cracks at the end and he winces because Jesus fucking christ Alex.

Willie chuckles and Alex notes that he has the kind of laugh that echoes through your whole body and settles right in your heart. “ ‘S cool, man, I don’t mind.”

“Right, cool. Do you uh… are you okay if I take the bed farthest from the window? I’m not- not much of a morning person, and the window is… it’s east facing” Alex mutters, his gaze focused on his feet which are rocking back and forth at a rapid pace.

“Yea, of course,” Willie replies. “I don’t think I’ve woken up later than 8 in 5 years.”

“That’s horrific!” Alex cries, momentarily forgetting his anxiety. He steps back and blushes an even deeper red upon realizing how stupid he’s being. “I mean- I just… sorry, I just meant that-”

“You’re good, dude. I don’t bite.”

Alex cracks a tentative smile. “So uh… I’ll just start unpacking then.”

Willie shoots him a thumbs up and smiles once again, which is a thing he apparently does a lot.

An hour later, Alex’s belongings are unpacked and organized and the room feels a bit more his. He feels slightly lighter, exhaling and closing his eyes briefly. This isn’t so bad. Fiddling with the hem of his hoodie, he shuffles out into the living room where Willie is presumably unpacking. Except that he’s not.

Willie is laying upside down on a couch that somehow appeared while Alex was gone and he’s flipping through a tattered magazine while his belongings remain mostly unpacked.

“This quiz says that I should try roller skating,” Willie sniffs. “Some personality test this is- oh hey Alex!” He scrambles up so that he can look Alex in the eyes properly, and points to the magazine in his hand. “Found this in a box, not sure how it got there since I’ve never even subscribed to one of these, but there’s a chocolate chip cookie recipe in here.” He stops for a moment, pondering. “Personally I prefer peanut butter cookies, ooh especially fresh out of the oven. There’s this bakery near my house that-”

“Did you get… any unpacking done?” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow.

Willie looks around at his boxes and laughs sheepishly. “Well I unpacked one and opened 3 so… some, yes.”

“Where’d the couch come from?” Alex pokes the cushion warily, as if afraid that it’s full of bugs.

“Room across the hall,” Willie says, pointing. “They both brought couches and didn’t have room for two we got the one with more stains.”

“Right.” Alex’s reply is forced and tense, and he winces upon realizing. Truthfully, he hadn’t expected his roommate to become so comfortable so fast and he felt like he was several steps behind. Damn extroverts. Drumming his hands against his thighs, Alex slowly sits down on the other side of the couch, pointedly looking ahead instead of at Willie.

“So.” Willie scoots closer, sitting cross legged with his elbows on his thighs and chin resting in his palms. “What’s your major?”

Small talk, god Alex hates small talk. “Um, music,” he answers.

“Ah, that’s cool dude.” Willie nods.

“Uh, what about you?” Alex asks.

“Art,” Willie replies, grinning. “Be prepared for paint stains, like, everywhere.” He chuckles and nudges Alex’s shoulder playfully. Alex is going to implode, he’s sure of it.

Alex laughs awkwardly. “So uh… what’s wrong with rollerskating?”

Willie shoves his shoulder again. “Everything, dude! Well-” he cuts himself off, thinking. “-I just kinda suck at it, definitely better at my skateboard.” He jerks his head in the direction of a skateboard leaned against the wall and Alex wonders how he didn’t notice that.

“Oh, that’s- that’s cool. I rollerblade but I uh, I can’t skateboard to save my life.”

Somehow, they slip into a comfortable rhythm, and Alex notes that his anxiety no longer has him in a chokehold. Willie seems to have that affect; he’s just so… open. Alex doesn’t realize it yet, but he’s subconsciously created a folder in the back of his mind labelled “Willie,” and he doesn’t think he’s capable of forgetting anything Willie will ever say to him.

“- that’s why airplane food is just, horrible. Cause you basically lose like 30% of your tastebuds because of the elevation.” Willie smiles at Alex, gaging his response.

Alex would rather die than admit that he’s still trying to figure out how the topic of airplane food came up, so he just nods enthusiastically, actively stopping his eyes from dancing across Willie’s face, which is practically glowing in the evening sun. Evening. Shit. Alex pulls out his phone frantically. “Shit.” He says it out loud this time.

Willie’s brow furrows in confusion. “You good, dude?”

“Uh yea I’m just, I’m supposed to be meeting my fam- uh my friends for dinner and I have to be there in like 5 minutes.” He ignores the way Willie’s expression falls, convinced he’s just seeing things.

“Yea um, of course. I won’t keep you.” Willie stands up, his posture the stiffest that Alex has seen it in the whole 3 hours they’ve been acquainted for. “I’ll just… order a pizza.”

Alex hesitates in the doorway, weighing his options, which has never been his strong suit. “Do you want to join me?” He blurts impulsively. Willie looks at him in surprise. “I mean only- only if you want of course, we’ve only really uh, known each other for a few hours and you- you probably don’t want to, it was stupid. I’ll just- I’ll just go-”

“No! I’d… I’d like to, eating pizza alone in the dark sounds a little pathetic,” Willie responds.

Alex smiles genuinely. “Ok, ok that’s uh. Cool. That’s cool.”

---

Alex is already regretting this. The restaurant isn’t too crowded, he notices with a relieved breath. But it’s loud. It’s loud and yet only one group of people is talking. Alex doesn’t even need to guess who.

“Ok but- no- no- the whole song would be better!”

“Say banjo one more time, I dare you!”

“Banjo.”

“Julie, what the hell?! This is betrayal!”

“You stole my breadstick, it’s only fair.”

Alex coughs, quieting the table to a dull roar.

“Alex!” Julie pulls him down to sit next to her. “Oh? Who’s this?” Reggie is grinning wickedly and Luke waggles his eyebrows in a way that makes Alex want to shave them off.

“This is uh, my roommate Willie,” Alex responds, his voice raising an octave. “He didn’t have plans so I uh… I invited him, I hope that’s ok.”

“Of course it’s ok!” Julie pats the space on the other side of Alex and Willie sits down, appearing… oddly nervous.

“Congrats! Your Alex’s first new friend since,” Luke taps his chin, pretending to think. “7th grade.”

Alex’s face promptly falls into his hands. He’s seriously considering the whole, shaving Luke’s eyebrows in his sleep thing.

Reggie leans forward conspiratorially. “What’s your opinion on banjos?” He asks, making a point to ignore Luke’s dramatic complaining.

Willie raises his eyebrows, clearly confused. “Um. No comment?”

“I’m… sorry about them,” Alex says apolegetically. “Uh, this is Luke, Reggie, and Julie-” he gestures to each of them; Reggie waves, beaming happily. “-and Julie’s dad should be…” He trails off, looking around.

“He had to take a phone call, something about Carlos refusing to eat dinner until he proves the house is haunted,” Julie explains, clearly biting back a laugh.

“I… okay.” Alex shakes his head. “Are we waiting for more food or did Reggie eat it all?”

“Ha ha,” Reggie punctuates his statement by sticking out his tongue. “We’re waiting for the actual meals-”

“Yea Luke already ate the entire bread basket.” Julie shoots a glare in Luke’s direction.

“Well… you suggested we get hotdogs,” Luke grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. “Payback.”

“Okay,” Julie laughs.

Willie leans over to whisper loudly to Alex, “What’s the story with the hotdogs?”

“Don’t tell him!” Luke cries, leaning across the table and slamming his palms down.

“We don’t talk of the hot-dogs,” Reggie mutters miserably.

“Food poisoning.” Alex shudders slightly. “Very bad food poisoning.”

“We almost died,” Reggie says, eyes widening. “Like, for real death. I’m pretty sure I was a ghost for a few seconds.”

“Reg, you were not a ghost,” Alex says, speaking like Reggie’s a 10 year old talking about monsters under his bed.

“I was!”

“You were not!”

“So,” Luke smiles mischievously, taking Reggie and Alex’s bickering as an opportunity to apparently torture the latter. Despite Alex’s warning glares, he turns to Willie with an innocent expression. “What kind of music do you like?”

“Luke,” Alex hisses, all too familiar with Luke’s antics.

“Hmmm.” Willie is painfully oblivious to Alex’s panicked expression as he mulls over his answer. “A lot of stuff really.” He shrugs. “Rock, pop, I like those lo-fi playlists when I’m trying to study.”

Luke nods, clearly pleased with the answer, but he isn’t done and Alex wants to hide under the table. He knows what’s coming next. “Thoughts on… drummers?”

“Luke.” Alex is seconds from lunging across the table.

“Drummers?” Willie asks, tilting his head confusedly.

“Yup,” Luke says, popping the p and still smiling like he’s some sort of innocent puppy-dog and not an absolute bastard.

“Hot,” Willie jokes. Alex can’t even hide the way he manages to choke on his own spit, and Luke and Reggie have never been great at subtlety, turning to Alex with matching shit-eating grins. Willie either doesn’t notice or is kind enough not to comment on it. “Yea, pretty sure young Roger Taylor was my gay awakening.”

Reggie is full on giggling now, and Alex’s entire face is gleaming a bright red. Willie glances around the table, puzzled.

“Mhm.” Luke nods before swiftly turning to Alex. “Hey Alex, by the way, you left your drumsticks in the car, do you need them back?” His voice is sickeningly sweet, coated in some sort of poisoned honey. It’s Willie’s turn to choke on nothing, failing to disguise it as a spontaneous coughing fit.

“Fine,” Alex squeaks as he sinks further down in his seat. If he pulls out his phone and messages Luke a flurry of threats, that’s no one’s business. He dares a glance at Willie, who has become quite fascinated with his hands, which are tapping out a mindless rhythm on the table, his cheeks and the tips of his ears dusted red.

Needless to say, Alex makes sure Luke doesn’t even get to look at the next bread basket.

---

I hope you liked it! Tell me if you want to be added to the taglist :)

I’m hoping to update at least once a week, but who knows. Ok thats all.

chapter 2

Chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

[angeli-marco-writes]

Harrison Osterfield - A Happy Day (& A Puppy)

A/N & WC - I don't know Haz, nor do I claim to; this is a work of fiction. 3.2k

Warnings - Mentions of a dog rescue centre and poorly dogs, slight anxiety, copious amounts of fluff.

Summary - Today is the day you and Haz get a puppy. It's the next big step in your relationship, and despite your anxieties, you know it's a happy day.

YOUR HEART FILLS WITH GLEE at the prospect of the day. You and your boyfriend, Harrison, have been together for a long time now, by ‘young people’ standards, and have recently taken the giant step of moving in together. Only, after you lived in a flat with various different people for a long time, and after he spent so long in a house with three other blokes (where you also spent a substantial share of your time earlier in the relationship, much to your dismay,) it’s quiet with just the two of you. And not the good quiet, though sometimes it’s nice and peaceful. You’re just both so accustomed to the constant bustle of people. And the only comprisable solution you could come up with, save for moving back in with Haz’s old housemates? Get a dog.

Obviously you want to, you love dogs, but it’s also a bridge to your future.

“Are you ready to go sweetheart?” Haz shouts from the doorway, rustling with his coat, while you’re still in the bedroom.

“Do we have to?” you beg.

“Yeah we do. You want this dog, don’t you?”

“Of course I do... it’s the rest I’m anxious about.”

See, you’ve been conversing with a shelter home for some weeks now, ever since they got an influx of puppies. A big litter of little blighters, separated from their mother and left to die on the side of the road in a damp cardboard box. Thankfully, and by some kind of God-given miracle, they all survived, and many have already been adopted, but your little treasure? You were the only takers. Not that you’re complaining, obviously.

Haz appears in the doorway, his own pea coat fitted to his form perfectly, tailored and tan to suit his complexion. He holds yours out to you and edges closer to your shared bed, made and done up by him.

“I know, baby, but it’s gonna be okay, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You loose a sigh. “Is there any way we can go in the back way?”

Your own puppy eyes convince him and he kisses you. “I’ll see what I can do. If not, just close your eyes and I’ll lead the way.”

Shelters upset you immensely. How anyone could hurt a dog or abandon it is beyond you, they’re the most precious things ever and need to be protected and adored at all costs. You knew you wanted a rescue dog from the get go, but you’d never be able to bring yourself to actually scour shelters to look for a dog. You just hope this one likes you, or else Haz is gonna have to do it all himself. You can’t face the pleading faces and the imploring eyes and the sadness around the whole place. If you could, you’d buy them all, give them a good, loving home, but you can’t, and that harsh reality leaves a pit in your stomach and a hole in your heart.

“Don’t cry darling.” he coos, kissing your tears away with tender brushes of his lips.

You hadn’t even realised you were crying. How emotional can you be? Today is supposed to be happy, but you’re breaking at the first hurdle. To make the pressures worse, you know that, if you don’t take this little bean, it’ll be put down.

“Come on, it’s a happy day,” he prompts once he realises you’re no longer crying. He stands, shrugs your coat onto you, and pulls you to standing, wrapping his arms around your torso as he sways. “We’re getting a puppy!”

His sheer excitement in his voice brings joy to you too, any doubt being left behind as you sway with hum, holding him close. You’re getting a puppy.

A little more pep is in your step once you stand up, ensuring your hands are adjoined the whole time. Concealing your nerves with excitement is a solid step, so you paint on a happier face than before and clutch him close as you tug him to the front door.

“We’re really doing it, we’re getting a puppy,” you say.

He nods, keying the door open, “That we are. Think we’re ready?”

You almost howl laughing. In many ways, yes. You’re mature people in a committed relationship, you’re both incredibly responsible in all the ways that matter, and know when you need to take the next step or hold back. Getting a puppy is a huge leap, though. But you’ve thought about it, planned for it, prayed for it to work, so there’s no reason you shouldn’t be ready, but it feels like a giant step. In the right direction. That’s all that matters; that, and the fact you’ll love this puppy endlessly.

“Y’know what? Yes. We’ve worked for this.”

“That we have, darling.”

Reaching the car, he places a kiss to the crown of your head. “Conserve your energy, honey. How about I drive?”

“Okay,” you answer, pecking Haz on the lips after he opens your door for you and hovers at your height until you answer him. “That means I can cuddle it on the way home.”

“It’s not an ‘it’, remember?” he chides, but the excitement is evident in his tone and the sparkle in his eyes, “we gave it a name.”

“Bixby, and he’s a boy, I know. How long is the drive?”

You fasten your seatbelt, smiling at him as he limbers into the drivers side. He’s attuned to your subtle mood shifts now, and realises that you’re slipping more from anxiety into anticipation, and he needs to work to keep you there, soothe you so that you don’t cry at the shelter. He’s a gem is Harrison, and you know he’ll be a brilliant dog-dad. It’s a huge part of why you’ve lasted so long together. The second you saw him with Monty, you knew he was a keeper.

After strapping his own seatbelt and manoeuvring the car into gear, he reaches over and curls his fingers around your thigh, pulling on that invisible connection between you, tugging you to look at him.

When you do, he spies that your current happiness isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but is in part a façade. Haz loves you, but you’re the damn most sensitive soul he’s ever come across, especially when it comes to animals. The main reason the two of you got your own place was because living with people you weren’t close to took a real toll on you, as it did him—no matter how reluctant he is to admit it, the forced intimacy of it all, so this puppy is a big step to comfort you both and help you settle down to this new walk of life.

Of course the delight is there, of course you’re happy, but your slight snags and worries are visible to him too. “Love you, baby,” he whispers, leaning over to lock your lips together, applying a certain pressure, sucking on your lower lip gently as his hold on your thigh increases.

Once he pulls away, he sees the true you, calm gracing all of your beautiful features so nicely, happiness in your eyes and a wry smile on your lips, no overt anticipation of any kind.

“You can choose the music, yeah?” is all he says, offering you the twitch of a smirk before he’s locking the key into the ignition and you’re off.

You nod, whether he sees it or not, and plug your phone into the radio, allowing yours and Haz’s playlist to stream through the speakers, the melodies wrapping you in their embrace the whole journey.

One thing Haz has learnt through his time with you is that his touch grounds you. No matter what it is, as long as he’s touching you, you’re okay, your breathing regulated, your nervous habits quieted. And though you’ve never outwardly confessed it, his comfort has helped you more times than you’d ever care to admit aloud. He knows this, but no one else needs to.

Once you park up, Harrison leans over to kiss you again, more gently this time. “I’m gonna ask if there’s a way we can get you around the back, okay? Don’t want you getting upset on such a happy day.”

“Thanks babe.”

You peck his lips, but tug away almost instantly, afraid if you don’t, you’ll be here a while. He smiles, and shuts the door behind him, tapping on your window and pulling a silly face as he passes your side of the car. You wait patiently, scribbling down a list off the top of your head of things to buy for the pup. Basket, bowls, toys, mat, brush, collar, lead… you’ve already got a lot of Monty’s old things, puppy baskets he outgrew, his old crate and such like, but you’re adamant that Bixby needs a basket in every room of your place… just in case.

“Hey dreamer,” Haz’s voice snaps you from your reverie, that cute nickname he uses when you drift off into your own little world easing a smile onto your face. “He’s waiting for us, you can come in now.”

You draw your lip between your teeth, and peek over your shoulder to the little puppy holder in the back one last time, filled with a blanket and a cuddly toy. Completely unnecessary, since you plan on holding him, but Haz thought it’d be a good idea nonetheless.

He holds your hand as you tread out of the car, and the whole way into the building, and you’re glad to find a member of staff waiting to greet you with a warm handshake by the back door, happily guiding you inside to the office, more than likely. And there he is, with his big floppy ears and his droopy eyes, sitting on the chair inquisitively, looking like the prince of the palace.

“Oh my God, he’s gorgeous!” you cry, and with little reluctance, you tug away from Haz, bounding over to the puppy.

You know how startled they can get, so you ensure to stop at a safe distance, tentatively holding out your hand for the pupper to let his black nose sniffle at you, before his long pink tongue laps out and licks your hand heartily, a doggy smile breaking across his face as he pants.

“He likes me. Haz, look, he likes me!”

He chuckles, “I can see that, sweetheart.”

You firstly pat at the chestnut-dappled white fur between his ears, stroking his silken fur, before moving down his body, scruffing a little at the rolls of fat there, completely natural for a basset hound-mix. His paws are huge, though, for such a tiny dog, especially considering his stumpy legs.

“Okay, should we settle down and talk about paperwork?” says the kind lady, a completely rhetorical question.

“Come on baby, if we want Bixby to come home with us, we need to fill these forms in, yeah?”

“Yeah babe.” you nod, and glance at the only remaining available chair. “Well, Bixby, it looks like I’ll just have to pick you up. How about that?” you coo.

His tiny tail wags enthusiastically, and he slobbers another kiss to your hand, so you cautiously scoop him up and settle him on your lap once you’ve sat down.

“First of all, we need to remind you that Bixby is the... runt of the litter, and has more significant health issues than other puppies of his breed, requiring more care, including a limp and slight hearing loss in one ear, and he is small for his breed.”

“We know,” you and Harrison answer simultaneously, his one hand occupied with stroking Bixby also.

He’s dealt with business thus far, bringing Bixby blankets from the house to get him used to your scent, meeting him and meeting with the managers, filling out your application forms, making visits to the shelter. It was actually quite a miracle that you were allowed to get a puppy from here, since you both work, but due to Harrison’s schedule as an actor with press and such, he works from and near home a lot, and whenever he’s working away, despite your own job requirements, you’re able to work from home to hold the fort down. So it worked out okay. And with the compromise, they said you met the necessary guidelines to qualify for adoption with one of you almost always at home.

“And he costs £250, but he’s already been vaccinated and microchipped.” she says. You both nod; you’ve already discussed donating a hearty amount to the shelter to keep it afloat, and because Bixby should be worth a damn lot more.

For the rest of the meeting, you zone out rather a lot, only paying attention when you have to sign papers or a cheque, the rest of the time tickling and fussing your new bundle of joy, already so relaxed within your lap. The time seems to whizz by, as before you know it, you’re clambering back into the car, a towel sat over your lap, and Bixby licking happily at your cheeks.

“You know, I showed him a picture of you,” Haz says, smiling wistfully, “the first time I came to visit him. I told him you were my wife and his mum—” he trails off, and darts his eyes to yours, realising what he just blurted out with a dry mouth and knitted brows. “Baby, I didn’t mean—”

“You want to marry me?” you ask, your voice barely more than a broken whisper.

“Of course I do, sweetheart. One day you’re gonna be my wife, and Bixby can be the ring bearer, and everything will work out the way it should, and you won’t be sad anymore.”

“What makes you think I’m sad, babe?”

He raises his thumb to your cheek, capturing a tear before it falls. Again. He’s been stuck doing this a lot.

“Point taken, but for once these are happy tears. I’m just overly sensitive with… everything, but I promise I’m not sad.” Never with Haz, you think. You look down at the puppy, now half asleep, contentedly wagging his tail at a leisurely pace atop your thighs. “This is a happy day, isn’t it?”

“So happy, y/n. I love you, you know that, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. I love you too, so much.”

He smiles, and slowly pulls out of the parking spot, ensuring to drive extra carefully, avoiding even the smallest of potholes on your journey. You keep one eye firmly on Bixby the whole time, but let the other roam your gorgeous boyfriend; the breadth of his shoulders, the veins in his hands, the intricate details in his blue orbs…

“Stop staring,” he whispers, “I can’t focus when you’re looking so pretty.”

You feel yourself flush, and turn your attention back to Bixby wholly, listening to your music as you quietly say, “I’m sorry.”

He says nothing more, but holds your hand over the gear stick the rest of the way.

*

You get a lot of attention in the pet store, carrying around a half asleep puppy with floppy ears the size of your entire face, meaning that your supposedly swift visit is elongated, but you survive, and are packed into the car shortly with everything you needed and more. A few people wanted to take a picture of Bixby, actually, having never seen a puppy basset hound in real life. You let them, leisurely trailing after Harrison as he got everything on your list, only purchasing if it passed Bixby’s sniff test.

Arriving home for the first time as a three is what makes everything seem so real, your heart overflowing with joy as you get out of the car, and walk to your door, and unlock it…

The first patter of paws on your wooden floor lets you know that this is home now, for all of you, as a family. That much is intrinsic.

“We did it. We got a puppy,” you say to Harrison, placing your hand over his chest where his heart steadily beats at a slightly faster pace.

“And we’re going to love him with everything we have.” he responds, kissing you softly, meaningfully, letting only love fill your embrace.

The skitter of Bixby’s claws coming towards you soon brings you back, though, and you begin to introduce him around the house, never once letting go of Haz’s hand. You show him the living room, where a blanket is already laid out on a sofa cushion for him to join you, and then the kitchen where his food bowls and water are, as well as his exit to the garden, and then to your bedroom, where the fluffiest basket you’ve ever seen sits in the corner, covered with swathes of blankets and scattered with toys. Treats already cover the floor all over your home, puppy training pads laid out just in case, and a hook by the front door with a blue lead dangling off it, as well as a tiny coat. Only…

“I didn’t buy this.” you say, spinning to face Haz, Bixby gnawing at his socks, rolling around at your feet.

You point towards the sturdy hook, embellished, engraved with two words. ‘Bixby Osterfield.’

“No, I did. I thought it was a nice surprise for you.”

He answers you as though it’s the most blatant thing in the universe. And really, it is something relatively small, but so thoughtful at the same time, so you open your arms wide, and nuzzle into him.

“Thank you, Haz. For everything. For this, for today, for loving me, for buying me Chinese takeout tonight.”

A laugh rips from him, his face breaking out into a wide smile, raising one hand to clutch at his chest while the other still securely encircles your waist.

“You’re more than welcome, babe. I’ll always love you. But I'm knackered.”

“Oh my God, same,” you breathe, slumping a little into him as you tickle the dog with your toes. “Who knew playing with a puppy would be so tiring?”

A low chuckle resonates from him, but he just holds you tighter, bending down to pick Bixby up as you trail over to the sofa, Haz’s footsteps silent on the glossy parquet floor of your home.

*

It doesn’t take long for you to get settled down, contentment filling you both, alongside ample Chinese food servings, and a fair amount of exhaustion too. Bixby has been with you the whole time, and while Haz sat down first, tugging you into his lap, legs spread wide as he lounged against the cushions a moment later, he ensured to position himself accurately on the ‘L’ shape of your sofa, so you could both reach the tiny snoozing puppy who curled into your side without a second thought.

“I’m glad we got a puppy,” you whisper into the darkness.

Night has come, the day having slipped away, and the movie you had playing is close to rolling its credits. You didn’t close your curtains but instead decided to watch the sun set and the star sparkle in the onyx sky, a stark contrast of beautiful silver, the light mirroring that that Bixby has brought into your lives.

“I am too, babe,” he replies, his nose burying into the juncture of your neck and shoulder, gently kissing your exposed skin, “how about we just settle here tonight?”

“Hmm, good plan,” is all you can muster, already feeling the tug of sleep, one hand on Bixby’s soft silken fur, the other holding Haz’s hand.

This is it, you think to yourself as you drift off, this is your family. Haz and Bixby, both of them snuggling into you, keeping you tethered, bringing you sheer joy. A happy day. All because you got a puppy.