#so i'm not even sure if my current budget would last @_@

[gotchibam]

I've been doing some test streams this past few weeks and I think I want to try it for real this time! Nothing fancy, just a simple art stream & some lo-fi music 🎶

I might be able to host one later (maybe a couple hrs from now?) so just look out for the post if you want to join! Also made a twitch & youtube channel for hosting & archiving future art streams so you can also follow me there if you'd like to get updated 😌

[aperrywilliams]

Douchebag Falls Short in This Case (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Part 1: If Anything I Find it Educative

Part 2: It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Spencer and Reader can’t have their scheduled lunch, but they keep talking by phone and texts. After Spencer returns from a case, they can see each other again. If Spencer hadn’t been mesmerized with Reader, now he is, and maybe is more than that.

Word Count: 5.8k

Warnings: Some strong words. Description of Road Rage Disorder. Talking about bad experiences at high school (nothing explicit). Emily is the best older sister to Spencer.

A/N: The prospect of them having a date was too tempting not to do it. This one is part 3 of “If Anything I Find It Educative” (Part 2 of “It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t”). Let me know your thoughts!!! I’m here to read you guys.

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Spencer's POV

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Me: Are you free on Saturday at midday? We could go to lunch. Let me know. Good night. S.R.

Heimlich Master: Yeah. Lunch sounds great. Let's talk about the details later. Good night :)

My face hurts from the big smile I sport right now. Smile that doesn't fade once I get to my apartment.

How did I manage to text her right away? I would never know, but I thank that moment of confidence.

Now I can't wait to see her again on Saturday.

---

I should have known making plans wouldn't work for me. It's Friday afternoon, and I'm on the jet about to take off for a case in Los Angeles.

There goes my lunch with (Y/N).

I grab my phone to type a text to let her know.

Between last night and today, we have been texting back and forth about what time on Saturday works for us and whether I had a place in mind. I did, but I told her it was a surprise.

Now I must cancel, and I can't stress enough my disappointment.

Me: Hey. I'm so sorry, but I'm leaving for a case in L.A. Can we reschedule our lunch? Please don't hate me.

Heimlich Master: Oh, it's okay. Don't worry; of course, we can reschedule.

Heimlich Master: Let me know when you come back. And don't be silly; I don't hate you.

Heimlich Master: Can I ask you for something, though?

Me: Sure. Anything.

Heimlich Master: Can you prevent Morgan from kick-down doors this time? The bureau budget would appreciate it.

I can't contain the snort that leaves my lips, gaining Emily's attention. Bad luck of mine; she is in a seat just in front of me.

Me: I'll do my best. Promise.

Heimlich Master: Thank you. Have a safe flight :)

Me: Thanks :)

Look at me! Even using emojis.

Penelope would be proud of me.

I set my phone on the table to exchange it for the book I chose for this flight. Emily's voice stops me before I can do that.

"So, are you going to tell me why you are so smiling?"

And here we go.

"Me?" I lift my eyes to Emily, who has a smirk on her face. I hate that she already knows what's happening, not even knowing what's happening.

"Sure, genius. I don't see anyone else here so amused and focused on his texts. Not to mention the grin that could illuminate the whole D.C."

"No, I'm not!" I defend—a poor attempt to keep the transparency of my face at bay. Emily scoffs, and that's all it takes to know she doesn't believe me.

"I understand you don't like to talk about your personal life. I get it. And I won't bug you as Morgan would, yet knowing it is related to your love life. But don't try to fool me. It's insulting," she says, the last part faking hurt. That makes me chuckle.

"That being said, I just want you to know I'm here if you need to talk. It's not always good to keep things to yourself."

Not waiting for my response, she picks up the folder with the current case details to read.

I have known Emily for a few years now, and even if we didn't start on the right foot - entirely my fault - she's proven very supportive. Gosh, once she endured a whole beating from an unsub only to keep me safe.

Beyond that, she knows how to talk to me without treating me like a kid. Sometimes, I can't say the same about the rest. Of course, I don't blame them; they've always seen me as the team's baby, but I appreciate Emily doesn't.

"That's the thing. This," I point my gaze where my phone is. "I don't know what it is," I sigh. Emily's eyes are back to me. She sees how confused I am.

"What do you think it is then?"

I don't want to betray (Y/N) 's trust by spilling details about her life, so the specifics of our talks are out of the table.

"I can't deny there is a connection between us. We only met twice—both by chance. But they led us to talk for hours. And I ask myself, am I reading this wrong, and she only sees me like a, I don't know, potential friend?"

"Why would she? She told you she was only looking for a friend?" Emily asks, her hands resting lightly over the folder on her lap.

"No, she didn't. It's a deduction of mine, though. I mean, she recently ended a relationship —a very serious one."

Just remembering the reason that led to that breakup makes me sick.

"Okay. That could be a thing, but not necessarily. Maybe things ended precisely because she wanted something different. That's not bad," Emily hypothesizes. I shake my head.

"I'm not so sure. Let's say she wouldn't have ended the relationship until something big happened. Big enough for her to realize the guy was a total -"I trail off. What would be the right word?

"A douchebag?" Emily offers.

"I think douchebag falls short in this case," I point out. Emily's eyes widen.

"That bad, uh?" I nod.

"She is vulnerable right now, and I don't want to take advantage of that. But at the same time, I want a chance with her. Am I a bad person?"

"What? No! Spencer, don't say that," Emily rushes to stop my spiral. "Far from that. You are considerate enough to see she's in a complicated situation. Most of the men don't even care about that. Cut her some slack, though. She is a grown-up woman, and if she wants to get to know you, why not let her? If she hasn't already, I bet she will see the great man you are. And not only as a friend."

My eyebrows furrow.

"Do you think so?"

"Sure. And for how you describe her, I don't think she is the type to play with people's feelings. Although, I strongly recommend being honest with her. That will prevent false expectations."

I take in Emily's words, and they make perfect sense.

"Thank you, Emily. I didn't think about it like that," I

muse. "Can you do me a favor, though?"

She nods, anticipating what I'm going to say.

"I know. Not a word to anyone. Got it," Emily confirms with a reassuring smile.

---

The heat in Los Angeles for the last three days has been overpowering. Just as catching this unsub has become extremely frustrating.

I'm in the meeting room they lent us to work in, reviewing the details of the case over and over again. The rest of the team is outside the precinct following our latest leads.

My head started to hurt, and I had to close my eyes for a moment.

As I focus on breathing, my phone pings. I open my eyes and see a text from (Y/N).

Heimlich Master: How are you? I read that L.A. has a heat wave; I hope it's not hitting you too hard.

I can't help the smile that pushes the corners of my lips upward.

Me: I'd like to say it's not affecting me, but I don't want to lie. I will survive, though. Please tell me how nice the weather is in D.C., and I'll aim to finish this case as soon as possible.

Heimlich Master: I thought our lunch was enough incentive for you to do that. Now I feel bad.

Oh, fuck. What did I do? Of course, it's an incentive for me. It is THE incentive, actually. I have been thinking about that since Friday when I came here. Now she's assuming I don't care.

How can you be such an idiot, Spencer?

I must fix this immediately, so I hit the call button—a confused (Y/N) answers on the other end.

"Spencer?"

"Hey. I - uh. I decided to call because I needed to explain myself. Please, don't feel bad. Of course, I want our lunch to happen. I wasn't saying it like if I don't. I mean, the heat is fucking insane here, but it's not-"

"Spencer, hey, don't-" she tries to make me stop. Still, I am so determined to say everything necessary to explain myself that I continue my rant.

"What I'm trying to say is-"

"Spencer, wait!" (Y/N)’s firmer voice halts me in my failed attempt at an apology. It's sufficient enough for me to shut up.

"Sorry. What were you about to say?"

"I'm sorry for stopping you, but it sounded like you would run out of air and pass out. Now I feel awful because the last thing I wrote was only to mess with you. I didn't want you to feel like I was accusing you of something, much less that you owed me an apology."

"Oh," I mumble, now making sense of the whole exchange. My cheeks heat up realizing I went from 0 to 100 in seconds. (Y/N)'s voice sounds anxious now.

"Please, forgive me if I worried you that way. That's why I hate texts; I can't control my teasing tone as I do when I talk to someone."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I don't want (Y/N) to think she did anything wrong, though.

"No, don't say that. I'm not good at - literally - reading social cues. I should have noticed. I just need some practice," I chuckle. I can hear a chuckle on the other end, too.

"Well, since we already cleared up our first miscommunication problem. How are you?"

That sentence shouldn't make my heart skip a beat, but it does.

Get your shit together, Spencer.

"With the heat and the lack of progress in the case, it is a bit frustrating. But we'll make it. How about you?"

"Good, actually. Not the load of paperwork I had last week, and my boss just asked me to prepare a lecture for the trainees in forensic accounting."

"Wow, that's amazing!" I chirp, excited.

"I'm a bit nervous, though. But I'll live," (Y/N) sighs.

"You'll do it great. I didn't know you were into teaching," I muse, remembering our prior conversations.

"I didn't, either. But I've had some previous experiences, and they have been okay. So, the case? That bad, uh?"

That brings me back to L.A. and the case. I was very comfy with my mind in (Y/N).

"He's taunting us. I mean, the police force. But we have a strong profile. One more piece, and we have him," I assure, trying to be convincing enough.

"You guys know what you're doing. You'll catch him, Spencer." (Y/N) sounds like she has no doubt. It fills my heart with warmth because although she doesn't have to put that amount of trust in me, she does it anyway.

"Reid?" I turn to see Morgan and J.J. walking into the room. She hears it, too.

"They need you. You have to return to work," (Y/N) concludes. I let out a sigh.

"Yeah. I have to go," I mumble apologeticly.

"Of course, you're working. It’s okay," she affirms with understanding.

"I'll let you know when I'm done here. Take care, okay?" I whisper into the receiver.

"I will. You too, be safe. Bye."

I can see Morgan's smirk and JJ’s curious look when I hang up.

I know they're dying to ask me questions, but now is not the time, and I don't want to either. So before any words come from their mouths, I hasten to speak.

"Did you find anything? I was examining what we have so far, and I think we are missing something. Look at this," I tell them, pointing to the scattered photos on the table. They look at each other and hesitate to interrupt me or play along. Thank goodness they opt for the latter.

---

Me: Did you know L.A. has an abandoned underground tunnel network? If they are put together, it will stretch out 17 kilometers. They exist due to the Prohibition. When alcohol was banned in L.A. in early 1920, 35,000 gallons of wine were poured into its sewers. But, far from eradicating booze, prohibition pushed its use underground, literally.

Heimlich Master: Wow. I didn't know that. But I'm afraid to ask why are you telling me this. Are you trapped in one of those tunnels, and this is a call for help? [see attached photo]

Me: Ha Ha Ha. Let's say I've been studying those tunnels all day. Good thing we have Morgan and Prentiss to do the dirty job, though.

It's my fifth night in Los Angeles, and I don't know whether to laugh or cry. The only things that have kept me at least in a decent mood are the texts and short calls I have shared with (Y/N). I've never been very fond of using technology, including my cell phone, but thanks to (Y/N), I haven't even questioned it.

We've been sharing fun facts and memes. If you had asked me a week ago what a meme was, I wouldn't have known what to answer. The word was familiar to me thanks to Garcia, who often mentions them, but now I can say that I know more about them than I would have expected to. (Y/N) is a regular, and I can understand more of her sense of humor because of that. She especially loves the ones with a philosopher dinosaur and those where a woman yells at a cat.

Heimlich Master: How is the case going?

I'm about to reply when hard knocks shake my hotel room door. I hear Morgan's voice on the other side. "Reid! There is a break in the case! Move your ass right now!" Before leaving the room, I texted (Y/N).

Me: Hoping to wrap it up tonight.

Two hours later, we have the unsub in custody, not before running into a frantic chase for L.A. streets. Now, completely wasted, we are packing our things to return home. Usually, when we wrap cases at this hour, we stay until the next morning and then take off. But everyone is so drained that Hotch called to the tarmac saying we’re flying back tonight.

Being already on the jet, I feel like writing to (Y/N), but it doesn't seem appropriate, considering it's 2 in the morning. I refrain and try to catch some sleep, knowing exactly what I want to do first when we touch down in Virginia.

---

It’s the first time I've put foot on the third floor of the Quantico Headquarters. It doesn’t look too different from the others I do know. A bunch of people walking in and out, agents perched at their desks, deep in folders or computers. Phones are ringing, and the sound of copy machines is unmistakable.

But none of that matters right now. I have a mission to accomplish.

After navigating between several desks, I find the one I’m looking for.

“Good morning, agent (Y/L/N).”

At the sound of my voice, (Y/N)’s head whips up.

“Hey! When did you come back?” she asks, seeming confused. The last time we spoke was last night before the unsub takedown, so for her, I still could be in LA.

I check my watch. “One hour and fifteen minutes ago.”

“I hope you slept on the jet.”

“I did. A bit.”

I won’t tell her how I barely closed my eyes, excited about returning to Virginia.

“So, to what do I owe the honor of having you here, Dr. Reid?”

“A crucial matter that can’t wait.”

“Is that so?”

“Uh-hu. I have an announcement and a question for you.”

“Oh yeah? Okay, shoot.”

“Morgan didn't kick down any doors during this case.”

(Y/N) snort a laugh. What a beautiful view it is to see her laugh.

“It's what I needed to start my day with the right foot.”

“You're welcome.”

“Okay, that was the announcement. And the question?”

“Yeah, about that. What do you say if we switch our failed lunch last Saturday for having dinner tonight?”

(Y/N)’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Tonight? Are you sure? You just came back.”

She’s inspecting my face, looking for certainty. I nod solemnly.

“Yeah, tonight. Unless you already have plans. If that’s the case, it’s okay. We can do something another day.”

After pondering my offer for a second, a smile creeps in (Y/N)’s face.

“You’re a lucky guy. Did you know that?”

Is it too much to say I’m feeling a lucky guy since I met her?

“I’m realizing now. Pick you up at seven, then. Is that okay?”

“Perfect. I’ll text you my full address.”

After saying our goodbyes, I take the elevator back to BAU. As the doors open at the sixth, I go face-to-face with Garcia.

“Oh, there you are! Everyone was looking for you to start the debriefing. Where were you anyways?” Penelope says, worried about my whereabouts.

Shit. I forgot Hotch wanted to do that quickly so we could finally get over this case.

“Uh. I had to use the bathroom.” I try to sound normal to avoid making a big deal.

“On another floor?” She asks, visibly confused.

Sometimes, my IQ gets lost in my odd way of doing synapses.

What the fuck I was thinking when I said that?

“Did you know the men’s bathroom paper toilet in the seventh is better quality than here?”

Oh, Spencer Reid, please stop.

“Really? I always knew they had more privileges than us. But the paper toilet? It’s infuriating,” Garcia huffs. And I know doing this is not very kind of me, but I promise to explain to her. Not now, though.

“Uh. I’m going to the conference room now. The others are waiting,” I announce, and Garcia nods, ushering me there.

“Yes. Go, go!”

Aside from the looks of 'Where the hell were you?' no one commented on me being late. Once we debrief, Hotch officially closes the case, instructing us to finish the paperwork and head home at lunchtime, which is perfect for my plans. It gives me enough time to prepare for dinner with (Y/N).

I know I look like a teenager, but I don't care.

Around three in the afternoon, I am already in my apartment and have made a restaurant reservation.

I decided to take a quick nap, although I didn't know how much sleep I would get given my nerves. It's not that being with (Y/N) makes me anxious per se; It's the anticipation of being with her.

Maybe I'm expecting too much from this date.

Shit. 'This date' Is this actually a date?

I feel like it is, but for (Y/N), will it be the same?

I invited her to dinner but never told her it was a date. Derek would tell me it is, but I don't want to assume.

Now is when Emily's words ring in my ears: 'Be honest with her to avoid false expectations.'

With her words in mind and the tiredness from the last days catching up with me, slumber finds me after a while.

---

It’s seven pm sharp, and I’m knocking on (Y/N)’s door. I can hear some rustling from inside before the doors open, revealing her frame greeting me with a smile.

“Hey! Just in time!”

“H- hi,” I say, almost breathless after taking in her appearance.

It's true that the first time I saw (Y/N), she was dressed to the nines. It's also true that when I saw her on the terrace that night, I couldn't help but think how beautiful and captivating she was.

The next time was at Quantico. She wore a classic and elegant office outfit, with black formal trousers, a white silk blouse, and a fitted maroon jacket. The image of all the confidence and resolve I bet she has at the job.

But now? My jaw shamelessly drops.

She's wearing a sleek, form-fitting black dress that accentuates her curves and black heels that elongate her legs. A beautiful cardigan wraps elegantly in her upper half. Her hair is styled in loose waves cascading over her shoulders, and she's accessorized with long silver earrings and the same necklace with the compass I saw on her the first time. She looks sophisticated, alluring, and just perfect.

“Let me get my purse, and we can go, okay?” (Y/N) says, jutting her thumb to the inside.

“Su- yeah, sure.”

Great. I’m a stuttering mess.

The drive to the restaurant is filled with light conversation. I talked about the last heatwave in Los Angeles, and she annoyed me by telling me about the rain in Virginia last week.

Now I ask (Y/N) if she has a car. It happens that she owns a car but doesn't like to drive.

“I just discovered years ago I don't like it. But I kept the car only for emergencies, which is stupid if I think of it,” she prefaces.

“Why?” I ask, stealing a glance at her.

“Because now all emergencies I can think of entail myself incapable of driving.”

Her laugh fills the car now, and I can’t help but join her.

“Okay, okay. But really, why you don’t like it?” I ask when our laughing fades. (Y/N) clears her throat.

“Uh - are you familiar with the term road rage?”

I nod, not peeling my gaze from the streets ahead.

“Yes, I do. Colloquially known as ‘angry driver disorder,’ it is aggressive or angry behavior exhibited by motorists. These behaviors include rude and verbal insults, yelling, physical threats, or dangerous driving methods targeted at other drivers, pedestrians, or cyclists to intimidate or release frustration.”

A sigh escapes (Y/N)’s lips. “Yeah. That.”

Using the chance a red light gives me, I look at her with an eyebrow furrowed.

“So, do you have RRD?”

She averts my gaze, focusing on the windshield instead.

“I thought I had it. At first, I didn’t give it any importance. I said it was just me trying to adjust to the jungle. Who hasn’t yelled as driving? But there were times when I freaked out of myself and feared doing something more than screeching or honking like crazy. So, I stopped driving for a while. I did my research and learned techniques to get it under control. But since then, I never enjoyed it again.”

A nervous giggle escapes from (Y/N)’s lips.

“Jesus, you are going to think I’m a society threat.”

I shake my head without a second thought.

“Of course, you are not. Furthermore, I find it admirable that you realized it was unhealthy and took action before living a worse experience.”

I see a blush creeping (Y/N)’s cheeks from the corner of my eye.

Not five minutes later, we are at the restaurant parking lot.

Descending from the vehicle, I hurry to (Y/N)’s door and open it for her. Once she is out of the car, I offer my arm so she can lace hers with it.

The hostess greets us at the entrance, and once he checks our reservation, he leads us to our table.

It's the first time I’m here. I chose it because Rossi once said it was perfect for a date.

Again. A date. Something I still don't know if apply here.

A waitress approaches us as soon as we sit, handing us two menus.

“Miss, sir. I’m Emma, and I’ll be at your service this evening. Can I offer something to drink?”

After Emma leaves us with our orders, (Y/N) turns to me.

“Spencer, this place is amazing.”

And she is right. The soft lighting from the small lamps creates a warm atmosphere. The decor includes cozy tables spaced apart for privacy, with comfortable seating and plush cushions. Soft and muted deep reds and browns fill the interior, with classy artwork on the walls. It's really nice.

But above all, the company makes it even better.

Our conversation flows as easily as in the car. It's so comfortable as we have known each other for a long time. And we just met less than two weeks ago.

“Okay, let me get this straight. So you are from Vegas and couldn't bear the L.A. heatwave?”

“I have lived in DC for almost eight years, so I adapted better to this climate.” I shrug and (Y/N) hums.

“You don't get to go there that much? I mean, do you have family there?”

“Just my mom. And no, I don’t see her very often,” I confess—a tint of guilt in my voice.

I see (Y/N)’s face, and I know she wants to ask, but she is respectful enough not to. Not everyone is.

“I’m an only child. And my dad left us when after my tenth birthday. With no siblings, it is only my mom and me. But even if I don't see her often, I write her letter daily.”

I look at her again, expecting the same face everyone gives me when I talk about my family, the one that screams pity. But no, if (Y/N)’s face screams anything, it’s understanding.

“Old school, uh? I’m sure your mom loves your letters,” she says, sipping her glass of wine. I nod,

telling (Y/N) more about my letters to my mom and how detailed she likes me to write them.

“And I think it helped us not to break the bond.” I shrug, taking a bit from the fork. “What about you? Did you say you are not from DC?”

“No. I’m not. I’m from Minneapolis. My parents settled there at a very young age. They were born in the South. I have two siblings: an older sister and a younger brother. My parents are still in Minneapolis, and my brother is, but he lives with his boyfriend now. My sister left for Chicago when she married her fiancee years ago.”

“Do you see them often?”

(Y/N) shakes her head.

“Not quite. Just in holidays or major events. But we call each other often. I always know what happens there, and they know what happens to me here.”

(Y/N) tells me she is not that close with her sister, though. Since she started dating his current husband, they distanced. And that only worsened when (Y/N) moved to DC.

“I’m sorry. That must have hurt.” I don’t know what having a sibling is, but I see in her eyes that she is not okay with how things turned between them.

“Yeah. But neither of us has done something about it. And here is where I need to clarify that stubbornness runs in my family,” she chuckles.

I pull a face, faking surprise. “Yeah, that’s so you can realize who you're dealing with,” she says, pointing her fork at me.

Our conversation bounces from topic to topic until we land on the school phase.

I tell her about what it's like to be a child prodigy in a public school in Las Vegas. The bad things and the not-so-bad ones, because believe it or not, I can see something positive from that time at this point in my life.

“Clearly, I didn't have it as difficult as you, but I am sure we all felt out of place at some point during that time,” she muses, cutting a piece of her dessert with the spoon.

“Did you?”

She lets out a chuckle. “Let's say I haven't been very ‘typical’ in my life, especially in high school. I mean, if following a stereotype was required, mine was quite different from the other girls my age.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “How is so?”

“Well, while my friends dreamed about having a Mr. Darcy-Elizabeth kind of love, I found Heathcliff and Kathy's relationship more appealing,” she stops from her explanation with a snort escaping her lips. “Ha! I should have known it would be a problem later.”

Why do I think other people would know what she is talking about while I don't?

Of course, she sees the confusion written all over my face.

“You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?” I pull a face, shaking my head.

“At risk of being disrespectful, uh, no. I don't.”

“Don’t worry. You don't have to, I guess. But if you read Wuthering Heights someday, you will know.”

I will—first thing in the morning.

“But the main idea is that I never expected life would be something close to a fairy tale, you know? I just didn't believe it, and my friends hated that of me.”

Jerks.

It's fair to say that we are so caught up in chatting that we don’t realize we are the only ones left in the restaurant. We do when Emma approaches to ask if we need anything.

After paying the check, we left the restaurant and headed to my car. The ride is mainly silent this time. I don’t want this night to end, and I think (Y/N) doesn't either because of how she bites her lower lip with her eyes trained on the road ahead.

We begin a light conversation for a few minutes after arriving at her building. With the car in parking, I reach her side of the vehicle to open the door for her. I offer her my hand, and she takes it, giving me a warm smile.

“I'll walk you to the door.” She nods softly, “Okay.”

The three floors to her apartment are pure agony in my head. I want to be honest with her, but I also don't want to scare her into thinking I'm a creep or whatever. If she notices my internal dilemma, she doesn't mention it. We reach her door, and (Y/N) takes her keys from her purse. I don't trust my hands and keep them in my pockets as she opens the door. She turns to face me now.

“Thank you, Spencer. I had a great time tonight.”

I see it in her eyes. She is genuine. And my heart skips a bit.

“Me too. Thanks for accepting my invitation.”

My hands feel clammy, so I take them out of my pocket and dry them discreetly on my clothes.

“Of course.”

We remain silent without taking our eyes off each other. Emily's words reverberate, and I know what I must do.

Okay. Here we go.

“Can I - can I ask you something?”

I wish I could speak without stumbling over my words.

“Sure.”

“Would you say that tonight, that is, our dinner - would you say it was a date? I mean, would you classify this as a date?”

(Y/N)’s eyes are trained on me as if trying to follow my train of thought.

“A date? Why wouldn’t I?”

She is still careful but curious about where I’m going with all of this.

“It's just that I never said it was a date when I talked about dinner.”

“So, you didn’t want it as a date?” (Y/N) asks for clarification, and I feel like the stupidest human being on earth.

“No! I did. I do. It's just - I thought you maybe thought of it like something different?”

She narrows her eyes at me. This is not working. I take a deep breath before starting over.

“The thing is, I don’t know if I’m reading this wrong. From the times we have seen each other and what we have talked about in these two weeks, I feel that there is something that feels so good between us, and I wonder if maybe you don't feel it or if you see it as something similar to a friendship. I know things in that part of your life have been messy lately, and I would understand if you wouldn't want anything to do with me, but I can't stop thinking-“

My rant is halted when I notice (Y/N)’s palm caressing my cheek. There is a glimmer in her eyes that makes my heart stop.

“Spencer. You are not reading this wrong. I feel the same way you described it as ‘right,’ even if I’m unsure what it is exactly.”

I let out a dramatic sigh I didn't know I was holding. That makes (Y/N) giggle. I join her with a chuckle myself.

As the giggle subsides, I hold her hand and place it over my chest near my heart. My other hand softly tilts her chin so I can look into her eyes.

“You are amazing; did you know that?” I whisper, and her breath hitched. I flick my gaze between her eyes and her lips. She does the same. And that's what I needed to get the courage and lean in. Slowly, the distance between us gets short, and I swear my heart is going to burst out of my chest. I can feel her breath fanning my face as her eyes flutter close.

And then, our lips met for the first time.

It's slow, and I can taste the sweetness of her lips.

I've never felt something like this kissing someone before, but now that I know what it's like, I never want to stop feeling it.

Her hands go up my shoulders, seeking a grip on the hair at the back of my neck. My hands fly to her hips to pull her closer to me as our kiss deepens. I sweep my tongue over her lower lip, and she parts them to grant me access. One of my hands leaves her hip to cup her face to get a better angle for continuing our kiss. Her arms tighten around my neck, pulling me impossibly closer.

I don’t want it to end, but the need for air is too much. After breaking the kiss, we are both panting with our faces flushed and lips swollen.

“Wow.”

“Jesus.”

We breathe out at the same time, followed by a fit of giggles.

Her laugh is definitely my new favorite sound on Earth.

I cup her cheeks and lean again to steal a quick kiss from her lips, and when I’m about to part again, she tightens her grip on my suit jacket lapels and brings me to her lips again.

After two or three more kisses, we lose the hold of our hands off each other, with a wide grin spread on our faces.

“I think we already give my neighbors enough of a show for tonight,” (Y/N) points out, biting her lower lip and peeking at both sides of the hall behind me.

“Yeah,” I mumble as I stroke her cheek, gaze focused on her eyes. “I should get going.” (Y/N) nods. “Text me when you are home?”

“I will.”

After another quick kiss, I muster the will to say goodbye. Wishing me goodnight, (Y/N) enters the apartment and closes the door. I linger there for a few seconds, excited like a child after the best day of his life.

I feel like it is.

Right now? I'm beyond grateful to Hotch for making me attend that stupid gala.

------------------

Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers

[semisomnosres]

question if there was a season 3 rc9gn what could it be if season 3 could come out

I doubt that in the supposed 3rd season the writers will suddenly go into something serious. I'm sure that the meeting of people responsible for scenarios looks something like this: Man 1: we need a script for season 3. Tell me the best ideas you have Man 2: maybe we can talk about Randy's experiences? About other ninjas, how the chaos pearls appeared and.. Man 1: who let him in here? I'm telling you we need the BEST ideas. And you're fired Man 3: fart jokes Man 1: brilliant! Give this guy the entire budget, we have an unrecognized genius here! Man 3: *burps* Man 1: I'll name my son after you

I imagine the following development of events:

The season will begin with Randy's ego soaring to unprecedented heights after defeating an enemy that has terrorized the city for 800 years. And with this behavior he will irritate not only Howard, but also Nomicon, listening to the same thing every day several times a day will eventually irritate even the magic book, he will grow his eyes on purpose to roll them. He will start saying something like "if you continue to behave so carelessly, you will not notice how the enemy sneaks up" which Randy will shamelessly ignore and as a result, as Nomicon warned, he will screw up somewhere and endanger others and this will still manifest itself in the near future.

It is logical that the Sorceress will take the niche of the Sorcerer. She has already escaped from the world of shadows at least twice and nothing holds her back. But she is more careful and cunning than the Sorcerer, attacking into the breach is risky (especially after defeating her ex), so she will sit somewhere or will plot while remaining in the Land of Shadows. Let's assume that like the Sorcerer, her good side also separated from her, which she chained and hid, but it was nowhere to be found in the shadow world, so it is possible that she is in one of the remaining 8 worlds. And I think after all this, she will hide the good version more securely (and I wonder if it is possible to simply kill her? If so, then this would make her task much easier. But most likely they are connected, that while one is alive, the other will not die, etc.)

And it is not necessary to defeat her so that the next ninja have an opponent, she can also be sealed or given a new one. Perhaps, in addition to the green and purple chaos pearls, there are other colors, perhaps there are as many of them as there are worlds, who knows.

Viceroy and McFist will again become villains, they are too good a comedy-villain duo to simply put them aside. But why would they attack the ninja if the Sorcerer is no longer there? Therefore, we use the point above. This time their boss will be the Sorceress, there are 3 options why they will listen to her - manipulation, promises like last time or threats, or all together. She can threaten to harm McFist's wife, which he will not allow And perhaps they will tell about his probable conflict with the past ninja (I have a headcanon that when he studied at the Norisville school, the then ninja somehow annoyed him, because of which he so willingly agreed to the sorcerer's proposal) And after so much time, the offense still remains

Since Theresa was shown as a mutual love interest of Randy - then they should devote time to her and her interaction with Randy. Otherwise, in her current state, she is at the level of talking curtains. I understand that this show is a comedy-action movie and not a romance, but at least it will not be such a difficult task to write her between the lines. Here's my idea for how to fit her plot: so that Theresa would have more opportunity to spend time among the main characters - she should learn the secret of the ninja at some point. (for example, at the beginning of the season When Randy didn't notice anything beyond his nose drunk with his triumph) Of course by accident, and instead of revealing the secret she began to cover for him like Howard. She should earn the opportunity to keep these memories, save the situation by proving to Nomi that she can be trusted. (It seems that Amanda's love magic only worked on guys, you can play this situation) so from the company of 2 idiots and 1 sane person in the person of Nomi, there will be 2 idiots and 2 sane people

I REALLY WANT to be given more information about the Norisu Clan, at least show the silhouettes (I made several designs of the First's brothers for myself, maybe I'll post them someday) (and I would really like more interactions between Randy and First. The trope where a tired adult almost adopts a hyperactive child will sell me almost everything) And at the same time, I don't want to be given out a lot of information about Creep, he suits the role of a mysterious guy who knows much more than you can imagine.

We have already been shown several mask modes: fire, Halloween and ice (from the game). Most likely there are other versions that are not limited to the elements (he has a bomb with bees, it seems there are no rules at all), for example, a lightning or stench mode (yes, don't pretend that the authors won't do this) and new types of magic from weapons or expanded hidden settings of old ones.

BUT most likely most of this will not be written into the plot, freeing up all the screen time for toilet humor…..

[horrorvale]

HorrorVale Development Blog: End of Year

Hello, citizens of HorrorVale!

As the year draws to a close, we (or more specifically me, Dustin) wanted to put together a little blog to talk about HorrorVale! How launch went, what our current and future plans are, and more!

(Note that this blog post does not receive audio, so if you respond I cannot hear it.)

Dream Colosseum

First, before I start talking about HorrorVale's Launch, I want to discuss an upcoming patch.

Currently, we're working on a massive patch for HorrorVale that will include the following:

Even MORE bug fixes

Brand new optional dialogue for every single party member in the game for main story cutscenes

More skill re-balancing

Other minor things and scenes I still wish to include

But most importantly... The DREAM COLOSSEUM!

I originally didn't think many people would bother with the "Secret Bosses" in HorrorVale, but since so many of you enjoyed them and also desired to get more opportunities to mess with party combinations, I decided to punish you horribly!

The Dream Colosseum is a brand new feature that will allow you to fight Bosses you fought previously, now all scaled up to End game stats, with new moves and quirks, and all very difficult.

If you've fought the "Last Secret Boss", now you get to imagine what a Dream Colosseum version might be like.

It will require you to 100% the game to access, but won't give any unique rewards outside of a cosmetic change to Alice's bedroom so people don't feel compelled to torture themselves for completionists sake. Naturally, there won't be any new trophies either.

Right now we're working steadily on this update, and hope to have it out very early next year.

Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about how launch actually went for HorrorVale...

HorrorVale Launch

After 8 years in development and 5 years since announced, HorrorVale finally released on October 1st, 2024.

This reception has been tremendous.

Leading up to release, I was anxious but overall feeling pretty good about launch. There were minor things I wish I had included or changed, but knew that delaying what was otherwise a feature complete game would be extremely silly.

I actually intended on releasing these things as a patch in the first week of launch, in the hopes of catching most people before they get too deep in the game.

...What I did not expect however, was the unfortunate discovery of several bugs, some of which were game breaking.

What made these bugs especially frustrating is that most of them were NEW bugs, created from me adding things right before launch, or fixing other unrelated bugs.

Due to these bugs and the massive influx of new fans, comments, reviews, and more I found myself extremely overwhelmed, and it ended up being probably one of the most stressful 2 weeks of my life after launch.

In the end, everything worked out and I was quick to patch the game...

...Multiple times.

Still, despite these issues the reception was overwhelmingly positive. Certainly some critiques here and there, but the general response was that the game was so enjoyable that even the most egregious critiques could be brushed aside. All of the wonderful things I've read by people who had fun in the world I created... It truly means the world to me. The... Underworld you might say.

I'm sure some people are also interested in how the game actually DID. Good reviews and positive reception are one thing, but this is also a product being sold, so how did it DO!? Did it SMASH RECORDS and become bigger than UNDERTALE? Did it FLOP???

Well, to be honest I'm not entirely sure!

Which is a strange thing to say, but it's difficult to gauge "Success" when so many factors can change what that means. For a AAA game, success means something very different to a small indie game with a publisher, which also means something very different to a ragtag team of people with no real budget, no publisher, no marketing, and especially no notoriety whatsoever. Not to mention as first time developers we have little to compare it to...

But that being said...

As of right now, HorrorVale has sold...

1,000 COPIES!

That's an INSANE amount of people. If all of you were in a big room crowded around me, I would be very scared.

That's 1,000 new citizens to HorrorVale that have entered its gates.

If we gauge success purely based off "did it make back what you invested in it?", then HorrorVale was absolutely a success!

However, unfortunately it did not necessarily meet the expectations we had.

Going into the launch of HorrorVale, I had 3 goals in mind.

To make back what I invested in it (out of pocket, not including Patreon earnings)

To pay Matt, the composer full royalties for the HorrorVale OST (since he created the entire 170 track monster soundtrack for FREE.)

To be able to devote myself full time to Game Development

Of these three... Only 1 has been achieved so far.

While I generally try to avoid discussing topics like these, I feel like it's important context for the next piece of discussion. The future of HorrorVale.

HorrorVale: Act M

HorrorVale: Act M is a small side story featuring none other than Mothman himself! This spinoff game was greenlit thanks to HorrorVale fans reaching our Wishlist goal for the main game. This game will tell the story of HorrorVale from Mothman's perspective, giving you new insight into his side of the story, as well as elaborate on events leading up to and following that story.

I think there's something really special waiting for you in Act M, and I want to use it as an opportunity to experiment with the HorrorVale formula based off of feedback from the main game.

No matter what, this project will begin development and it will be in your hands....

...At some point.

Which is where the previous topic comes into play, because naturally how long Act M takes to make is dependent on the time I have free to work on it. HorrorVale sales could certainly pick up, and I might one day be able to devote myself fully to game dev, but for now Act M will have to follow the same development process as "HorrorVale", which means it's difficult to give an estimate of how long it'll take to make!

What I can say for sure, is that Act: M will be much, much shorter than HorrorVale. Don't expect a 50 hour experience! I'm aiming for something more like 8.

And yet, you might be asking yourself dear reader...

"How can we help?"

Indeed, you asked yourself that exact sentence and in the voice of the King from Zelda CD-I no doubt.

Which brings us to the next topic!

Patreon Revival

My original plan after HorrorVale launched was to completely retire the HorrorVale Patreon as it seemed unnecessary at that point, but since:

We did not reach our expectations of sales so far

Several fans expressed a desire to support the game in some way because of the Steam Early Access debacle

I thought it made sense to keep it up and give it a little makeover.

Now fully dedicated to "Act: M", you can expect Monthly Progress Reports here, just like the main game!

Not only that, but we've added a brand new "Cryptid" Tier, that will allow you... Yes YOU! The ability to design a Creepy, Scary, or Starry for Mothman to fight in Act: M! We don't want Mothman to just fight all the same enemies as Alice! He'd naturally encounter foes she never even knew existed. This is your opportunity to help the game out and get to be a part of it as well.

(Please note that in order to participate in this reward, you must be 18 years or older and willing to give all rights of your design to Batworks Software.)

(Also please note that Mothman will kill your beautiful creation with a crossbow and it will hurt very badly.)

Since as of now I can't "live" off of HorrorVale sales, instead my plan is to put it and Act: M Patreon earnings towards Act: M itself and Mystery Future Project. This will help ensure a smooth development cycle as possible. If you're interested in helping out the HorrorVale universe, now's your chance!

Of course, forking over your hard earned candy isn't the only way to help though!

Just enjoying the game and telling your friends about it is a MASSIVE help. Without a marketing team, word of mouth is a tremendous help to us, and it's thanks to that that we're here at all!

Closing

In closing, I just want to say thank you to all of the HorrorVale fans that have supported us over all these years. The love that HorrorVale has been shown has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. As long as I'm able to, I'd like to read every comment and message I can, but I fear that if the game does get bigger one day I won't be able to see them all. Just know that the love you've given Alice and her friends mean the world to me.

Wait Stop Right There What Do You MEAN "Mystery Future Project"???

That's all for now goodbye!!!!!!

*The device he was speaking from explodes spontaneously*

[daichiduskdrop]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Chapter 35

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: anxiety and panic attack, light implications of attempted rape

Words: 3457

A/N: Hello everyone! I'm sorry I didn't update earlier, I've been very busy. Currently I'm away with my school so I won't be able to post for a while!

Please enjoy this soft chapter :)

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys

Previous:

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

„What a great choice, little pup. Of course we can go see; come on, let's go, sweet baby.” The packalpha smiled widely at you, taking your hand in his before he started to lead your little group towards the said store.

Yuki and Moonsik followed happily, both okay with going to the music store. While neither of them played any instruments, they enjoyed listening to music, so they wouldn't mind.

Plus, sometimes seeing all of the gadgets and things lined up cleanly just satisfied them, even when they weren't there to buy them.

And so, Namjoon led you close, watchful so you wouldn't bump into any bypassers as you were caught too deeply into explaining the new art technique you only just learned.

The packalpha knew a fair bit about art, but by no means did he know enough, considering how much new information you shared with him during the few small seconds.

Litography for sure sounded complicated, but you looked ecstatic about it, even though you repeated many times that you really didn't know what you were doing most of the time.

Maybe he could start a course with you? Or maybe some of the other packmates would go. Or maybe, if you don't want them to be there with you, you would prefer to do so alone?

Seoul was a large city; for sure, there must be a printing unit of some sort, an atelier, or anything like that.

Namjoon really wanted you to persue your hobbies and dreams, and he knew you held art very close to your heart.

The packalpha wasn't sure what type of school you would want to continue to study at, but he realised well that the pack could for sure help.

He thought a little about what you might be able to do to help them, and the packalpha already had quite a few good ideas.

But nonetheless, Namjoon was more than happy to have you around, and you could choose whichever path you found interesting, and he and the pack members would support you.

The walk across the mall wasn't lengthy, and so soon enough, you were aware of the music store you desired to see when it was closed.

It was open this time, and the lights that were turned on made the display of the instruments and gadgets much clearer and simpler to see.

To your eyes, it looked quite magical. You knew your fair bit about art—of course you would; you studied it after all—and when you were young and lived in Japan, sometimes you would go see theatres too.

Your budget didn't allow you to see the interesting plays anymore, and it wouldn't be too safe for you to go on your own either.

Since most of the theatres would play during the evening, starting at the earliest of 18 o'clock, even when it would be the summer and the sun would come down later, by the time the play would end, it would be dark.

Seoul wasn't a small city by any means, but your apartment was on the outskirts, and you didn't live in the nicest part of it.

You were an omega. Only now were you being courted, and before that, you had no one to make sure you would get safely home.

The last time you went to see the play R.U.R., which didn't wow you but didn't hurt to see either, you left the theatre by the evening, and the stars would twinkle and shine.

The bus you had to wait for took quite some time to arrive, but whenever a bit off-looking alpha or beta would come sit by you on the waiting bench at the stop, you would make sure to get up and create a distance so no contact would be created.

You were on your phone, busying yourself on Instagram as there was free WiFi available, and so when your bus arrived a good half an hour later, you entered.

All went well in the beginning, but as the drive continued, less and less people stayed, and it came to only you and an alpha.

The man didn't seem too suspicious at first, but when he stood up, to you seeming to go to leave the vehicle, he didn't step out but instead stepped closer to you.

You were more than lucky that night, to be certain. Just the reminder of the sickling smell of the rut had your stomach turning, and when you noticed the look in his eyes, you realised what was meant to go down.

Before the alpha could do anything, you left the bus in a hurry, as your stop just came, and luckily for you, the dreaded man didn't follow you.

Since then, you wouldn't go outside comfortably and would always be wary of being on your own during the night.

Just the terrifying memory made small tears spring up in your eyes. What would happen if that man took you to mate that night? What if he marked you too?

Surely, none of the pack members courting you now would be interested in you then.

You felt your fingers shake a little, and you could tell you were about to cry. You couldn't go crying in the mall like this, and if Yuki and Moonsik were with you too, what would they think of you now?

Your breaths started to cut shorter and shorter, and as your eyes squeezed shut, a slight ringing clouded your mind.

Then, you couldn't tell well what was going on—too much in a haze to realise. You could hear your heartbeat, or was it yours?

It sounded close to your ear, and you felt your lungs hurt from how unwell you were breathing, your intakes shorter and shorter every moment passing.

„...okay, pup,'s okay...."

You recognised the packalpha's voice well, but it sounded distant and far; your ears were somehow weak, and you were tired.

The soft smell around you brought you a slight comfort and warmth, but even then, your shoulders shook and tears would come down your face.

Whenever your sobs would get louder, the warmth brought to you felt more close, as the scent felt more strong and noticeable.

Somewhere deep in the back of your mind, you knew you had stressed yourself out so much that you had another omega drop, but then again, you couldn't think too clearly.

„...don't worry, sweetheart, just breathe for alpha baby;.."

Namjoon's voice caressed you in the background as you sobbed and cried softly. You were just too scared and anxious at this point, too worried out of your mind, to really pay attention to what was going on around you.

It took you quite some time to calm down to a point where you would realise what was going on around you. Sobs wrecked your body, and your shoulders would shake as you gasped for air.

„...there you go, pup, just like that. Breathe for Alpha little 'mega..."

Namjoon didn't know what exactly went down to cause you to suddenly drop on him, but he knew it wasn't good.

It was just like that—your scent would change, and he would notice something was wrong. And before the packalpha could do anything to help prevent it, your soft sniffles and cries already came.

And what was he to do? He knew he couldn't do much as the rest of the packmembers weren't there to help, and surely all of their scents would do you good.

Namjoon didn't even have that lamb plushie they bought for you, and gosh, he was cursing himself for not getting at least a keychain to carry around himself in case of need—like now.

They all will, for sure, purchase one right away after they hear about your soft state. None of them will care about how bulky or weird their keys might look; that would not matter.

If they would get a keychain that would carry all of their scents, for sure, that would help when you might drop on them so suddenly.

Namjoon didn't have that at the moment, and so he was stuck with what was possible to help relieve your anxious state—his own scent.

And so he did what he thought would be best, releasing all of the protective and calming pheromones he had as an alpha.

The moment the packalpha realised you entered an omega drop, from standing before you crouched while caressing your cheeks with questions pouring out about your dazed state, he was quick to get into action.

When your tears appeared and your scent fully changed, he took you into his arms, not caring one bit about anyone looking—you were his top priority.

And so Namjoon cradled you to his chest, safely tucking away your face into his scent gland as he would try to calm you down.

When your sobs and cries turned into gasps for air, he could truly feel worry cloud his mind, and he could tell his brain was dashing up with only a few simple words screamed at him.

Mate; Danger; Breathe;

And he held you even closer, going from trying to gently talk you out of your closed state to feeling himself start to go feral in worry.

Was it one of the bypassers that made you freak out so much? Was it the shop owner? Oh, he was going to have a word with him if that was the case for sure.

But before the packalpha could do anything, Moonsik, who still held Yuki's hand closely as they both looked worriedly over the two of you, stepped closer.

„You need to go somewhere where it's calm and quiet, Namjoon-ah.” The beta's voice held a sense of urgency in it.

His own pack's omega wouldn't drop too often, but when he would, it was always a great worry for both Moonsik and Juwon.

He recognised the short and quick breaths, along with how off your scent seemed, and knew that you really weren't doing well at the moment.

And so, he was quick to step in as soon as he noted Namjoon's growing distress; it was understandable that he was worried. You were their courted omega after all, and it was every packmember's worst nightmare to see their littlest ones cry of fear.

Moonsik calmly came over, a harsh but not really meant growl leaving the packalpha as he took a step back. The beta understood—the younger wasn't thinking too clearly and wouldn't take time to realise who was safe and who wasn't.

At this point, the only ones allowed to come closer to the distressed omega were the packmates, and even then, the packalpha would strictly watch.

And so, the beta took the lead and started to walk to one of the stores where it surely would be quiet and calm—the small library, which had a café at its entrance.

Namjoon rushed to follow, pecking your cheeks and temples repeatedly as he would comb his fingers gently through your hair.

The only thing he wished for was that you would be okay.

None of the drops he experienced with you went to such an extent, and you never had such issues with breathing. What if something was seriously wrong?

Hastily, the small group of yours entered the café. Moonsik brought Yuki over to order, as he didn't want it to seem like you all just came over to sit and not have anything.

The other omega was scared and worried for you, asking the beta numerous times if you were okay and saying, „Y/N doesn't look fine, hyungie!” Nearly bursting into tears himself.

Though the beta was professional in distracting the younger and calming him down, he by no means needed Yuki to drop too; that would be truly bad timing.

And so, Moonsik asked the omega about which drink he thought you would like the best, or what pastry, but the conversation always stopped, as the omega would go turning to look at you sitting in a secluded booth, curled up closely to Namjoon.

Yuki couldn't see much, as the packalpha had tucked you closely against himself and kept you in the corner, his back partly turned to the entrance.

„You're okay, my baby; breathe now; breathe for Alpha." He would whisper, a little frown on his face as he held you to his chest, making sure your ear was pressed right up against his heart where you could hear it the best.

The alpha caressed your hair softly, pecking your forehead as his chin would rub up against the top of your head.

His scent was noticeable all around the booth, and while he might feel a bit emberassed normally, considering that it's not really well with the etiquette to have one's scent take up the whole room, he really didn't care at the moment.

Luckily, the people working and in the café were understanding and didn't freak out or start a scene over it, and everything truly was calm.

Apart from the soft, calm music playing in the background, the shop was quiet and calm, and he only then realised that it was definitely omega-centred too.

And soon after, your teary eyes, Namjoon so restlessly viped over and over, fluttered open. The moment you realised it was the packalpha who was gently looking over you, holding you close as he would caress you, soft shushes leaving him in hopes of you breathing better, a soft sob left you again.

Namjoon looked over immediately, his eyes widening, before he held you even closer, tucking your head right into the very crook of his neck.

„Oh baby...” He whispered gently, pecking your temples repeatedly as he rubbed your back and petted your hair.

You gripped onto the alpha's t-shirt tightly, the man pulling you up and closer to his chest in answer.

Your cheek rested against Namjoon's collarbone as the still slightly agitated alpha held you very close, trying his best to settle you.

Just then, Moonsik and Yuki came over with the order they thought both of you would like the best: an americano for Namjoon and a sweet lemonade with a little cheesecake for you.

Just as Yuki went to whine out, noticing that you wouldn't turn to look at them, the packalpaha being the only one to have acknowledged them, the beta was quick with his thinking.

„Hyungie-”

„Sh, baby, sh, come here." He whispered gently as he pulled the younger omega over to himself, letting him sit on his lap too.

The beta knew well that you needed some space and time to truly relax and calm down, and staying with the packalpha for the time being was for sure the safest bet.

And so, Moonsik fed his omega small bites of the brownie cake and had him drink his own lemonade. Yuki hoped you would like yours just like he always liked his.

„Should I call someone, Namjoon-ah?” Moonsik asked after a little while, worried eyes set on you. While you weren't sobbing and gasping for air uncontrollably anymore, you were still softly sniffing, no matter what the packalpha would say.

Namjoon looked up from pecking your forehead, frowning a little in thought. The packmembers would for sure freak out if they knew, but it was necessary, he thought.

And so, as the alpha pulled you even closer, your nose right against his scent gland, he stayed for a little while in thought.

„If you would be so kind, Moonsik-hyung, that would be very helpful.” He whispered softly, not wanting to startle you, as he gently patted your hair.

The beta nodded and ushered Yuki out of his lap, taking the younger's hand before he went over to the more secluded area—he didn't want you or anyone else to hear to call.

You didn't need to drop on them the second time in a row today.

Precautions were a must in such situations, and your fragile state for sure required one, so they needed to be careful now.

Moonsik quickly switched on his contacts, searching through them until he found the first packmate he had saved on his phone, Yoongi.

And so, as Yuki looked over the books on display, opening and closing them after he realised they were in the horror section, the ringing noise sounded in the beta's ear.

It took a while for the alpha to pick up, but he did soon after, having the beta sigh from the pent-up worry he didn't even realise he kept inside.

„Hello?”

„Hello, Yoongi, it's Moonsik...um, the beta, we met in the mall and-”

„Yes, I remember. What do you need? Is Y/N okay?”

„Y/N dropped a few minutes ago, but Namjoon is trying to settle h-”

„What?! Fuck, where are they?”

„We are in the reading café right now, but maybe you all shouldn't come at the same time..."

„Aish, send me the address, and I'll be there soon; I'll let the rest know.”

„Of course, I will. Thank you.”

Yoongi was the one to switch off the call, but in the background, Moonsik could very well hear his keys jiggle as the alpha quickly got ready to leave.

He wasn't sure where Yoongi was at the moment or if they were all planning to come into the café, but he trusted them and knew that they would do their best to help you.

„Come on, baby, let's go." The beta softly said, gently tugging onto Yuki's hand, the omega following right away, abandoning the book he held before.

They walked back up the stairs and over to the booth to see you still closely held by the packalpha; only now you weren't really sniffling too badly.

Only when they sat down and Moonsik got a better look at you did he realise what happened—you cried yourself to sleep, far too exhausted to keep up with everything.

Namjoon held you close, very much in a protective headspace, wary of anyone and everyone passing by.

The alpha tried to feed you a little bite of the sweet cake or have you at least take the smallest sip possible, but you wouldn't budge, a soft whimper leaving you whenever Namjoon would slightly pull away to give you a little bite.

And so, after a short time, the packalpha has given up on having you eat or drink at the moment, and as you fell asleep, he would hold you just as close as before, if not closer.

He sipped on his coffee the beta and omega, so kindly got him, but it was still quite hot, and he didn't really know how to relax at the moment.

„I called Yoongi; he said he was on his way.” The beta almost whispered, not wanting you to wake up, but seeing your truly tired state, you weren't about to.

The packalpha murmured soft thanks, glad that the beta was kind and considerate in such a jumbled situation.

Just as Namjoon went on to apologise about the hangout taking a terrible turn, the beta was quick to shush him.

„It's okay, Namjoon-ah; it's not yours or Y/N's fault; things like these just happen.” He said it calmly, cutting off a little bite of the brownie to feed Yuki again.

The packalpha could only thank him softly, holding you close as he rubbed your back up and down, keeping you close.

It didn't take a long time before the other packmate came, and it wasn't just Yoongi either.

The moment the youngest recognised your distressed scent in the mall, he took off running, with the older alpha following soon enough, finding the path to you by your scent.

And soon enough, Jungkook stood at the entrance to the café, a mask and heavy jacket on, as he came just from the outside, where Yoongi had driven them.

A soft gasp left him as he finally saw you and Namjoon, your body tightly cuddled up to the older alpha.

„Babybun!” He whispered, taking long strides over before he came to the side of the booth with you.

Jungkook reached over to hold you, Namjoon sighing out gently, before he let you be held by him, only a soft whine leaving you.

„Don't cry, my bunny, it's okay. Alpha is here now. Alpha is here." He would whisper, his chin and cheeks rubbing vigorously over your head as he tried to have his calming scent mask your still unsettled one.

„Oh, kitty...” Yoongi murmured, taking a seat next to the youngest as he too gently petted and brushed through your hair, worried eyes set on your still-half-asleep form.

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

[kaile-hultner]

GoFundMe Update, 8/12/2024

Hey y'all! it's been about a week since the last GoFundMe update. We've hit a pretty predictable slow period in this fundraiser, a kind of doldrums, but I also got super busy over the last seven days, so it's all good there. So what's been going on in the past week?

To start with, as I mentioned last week I'm down to just one installment loan. This in itself has already made a massive difference just even in terms of how I'm feeling. It no longer feels like I'm being crushed by this massive weight on my shoulders or chest. I know I've mentioned this a lot, but it's such a weird feeling after experiencing the opposite for most of my adult life.

With that, things are already starting to change rapidly: my credit score has gone up 23 points in a week and a half, for example. I hate that this is even something we should have to pay attention to, but I can't help but feel relieved when number go up instead of down. The number of phone calls I'm getting per day, in the evenings, on the weekends - all the debt collection calls - has dropped dramatically. Now it's mostly just spam and companies trying to get me to take out more loans with them. I've experienced a burst of creative energy that has gotten me back in the game-playing-and-reviewing saddle - I just wrote a piece about "A Short Hike" as a donor request fulfillment exercise. (You can check that out here.) I was able to get through an entire weekend of work at my side-gig with no issues or delays—something I haven't been able to say for a few months. And when I finished that work? You'll never believe it, but I didn't feel stressed out or exhausted! I felt normal!

This doesn't automatically catapult me into 24/7 comfortable living, and now I really have to focus on the hard and dirty work of living within my means, building a budget and being an adult when it comes to daily choices, but I always knew that. This GFM has never been the magic bullet that would solve all of my problems - and I've never wanted it to be. However, it's helped assuage such a significant portion of my problems that I can focus on other things for once, and navigating that for the first time has been a pretty significant experience! This comes after months of having to transfer my paycheck from my bank to my Apple Pay account and a litany of other sketchy shit just to make sure it didn't all get swallowed up by various debt repayments and years of sometimes paying rent in parts instead of all at once. With most of that gone and cleared out, I no longer have to do all that! I don't feel like I'm constantly between a rock and a hard place, and that's… honestly pretty significant.

So what's next? Why am I still moving forward with the GFM towards $8000 and eventually $10000+?

Well, as I've said in prior updates, it's still pretty unbelievable that we reached $6500+ and I genuinely have no expectations about getting even a cent more. If nobody else donates, I think I would be pretty pleased with what this GFM was able to accomplish. But I don't think I'm totally out of the woods yet. Thanks to your help, I've upgraded from "basically completely underwater" to "balancing precariously on the edge of the dock," and there's a WORLD of difference between those two states. But that doesn't mean I don't ever again have to worry about the possibility of almost drowning.

Goal 4 would help me pay off my remaining installment loan, and with that close the book on that chapter of my life altogether. I've got these two annoying (paid monthly) loans in the background, but paying $40 and $78 a month respectively for them isn't really all that bad. It's not moving the needle the way these installment loans (paid every two weeks on my payday) were. I'd like to get rid of this final installment loan pretty quickly if possible. I'm currently just a bit under $1400 away from that goal, and I think it's pretty attainable.

Goal 5, $10,000, and Goal 6, $10,000+, are maybe my vaguest goals, so I want to flesh those out a bit. For those goals, I'm thinking of my long-term future more than anything immediate. If I can get anything past $8K, great! That will be money I put into a savings account and start adding to on my own. The reason I'm putting these goals at the end of this GFM is because in a little bit less than a year, I'm looking at the end of a pretty long arrangement I've had at the place I'm living, and the situation is that either rent is going to raise pretty significantly or (more likely) I'm going to be finding a new place to live. Having some money in savings is going to help me out with this in two ways: first, being able to pay a deposit on an apartment or absorb some of the cost of raised rent. Second, being able to put down a down payment on a car. My (smaller) worry is that, even with the radical erasure of my most immediate and crushing debts that this GFM has already afforded me, I may not have enough time to save this kind of money on my own, and/or that my credit score won't heal fast enough to qualify me for cheaper car payments, apartment deposits that aren't an arm and a leg, and so on. For context, I live in Oklahoma, which has a relatively cheap cost of living, but it's practically impossible to get around without a car as OKC's transit system is bootycheeks.

Finally (and least importantly), I promised when I set this GFM up that it would be the last time I asked for money from the Internet for this or any reason, outside of like a medical emergency. I set $10k up as a moonshot goal, something I didn't think it was possible to achieve - and yet here it is, barely $3400 away. If we make it to the end, that's gonna feel like a wild achievement! I'd finally be able to rest easy.

Here's a bad car metaphor I just thought of: you know how when you jump a car, you don't just plug up the jumper cables from one car to another and call it good when the car in need of jumping starts? You have to give it a little bit of extra juice in order for the car to restart its own charging capacity? That's kind of what this GFM is. I'm the car being jumped. The fundraiser is the other car revving its engine and giving me a bit of extra juice after I was able to start my own engine again.

See? told you it was bad.

Anyway, as always, I cannot thank those of you who have already donated enough. None of this would be possible if it wasn't for you, and my inbox is always open if you want to suggest cursed internet artifacts for me to look at. Someone suggested the entire series of Eyewitness children's science documentaries to me. I have no clue if I'll be able to find them. I've been vibing on the theme song for days tho. The only thing I would ask of you at this point is to share this GFM on social media, maybe link back to this update directly, and let's see if we can't find some extra wind for these sails to get us closer to that final goal. If you can't donate, please don't feel pressured to donate! Just reblogging it is more than enough help.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Looking back on 2024

It was a pretty tough year for me. Every year is pretty tough but a lot of bad things sure happened at once. Obviously it was a very bad year for the world too, with the Palestine and Sudan genocides that are still ongoing, and Trump winning and the ramifications that will have on the world, among other things.

For me, my town was devastated by a hurricane and I was without water and power for multiple weeks, though I was very lucky and could rely on my parents, my mother's friends, and my uncle to find us resources, and my place was entirely undamaged except for a small leak'

In addition, I had my geriatric kitty die from kidney failure DURING the hurricane stuff (though not having work meant I could spend a lot of time with him in his last days), the main friend I hang out with moved away getting COVID for the first time, like overhearing my coworkers dissing me behind my back (the stuff of my nightmares finally true), having a couple breakdowns at work...

However I've been doing okay at work the past six months, calm and in control, we've been doing a great deal of upheaval with departments merging and budget cuts and the hurricane and my new boss being uninformed and doing stuff we have to fix. BUT on the bright side, I don't have my boss literally three feet away from me at all times nor do I have to deal with the baggage of past screw ups.

And despite all that's happened, I want to remember the good things that happened last year, because there were some REALLY big ones, some of which were a product of hard work paying off, so I'm proud of them. Here's a list:

-I finished up the final final drafts of my current novel...and GOT A LITERARY AGENT! This still doesn't feel real. I thought the process to get an agent for my new book would be hard and fruitless, but I got one like, so quickly? And she's very nice and believes in my book and it's so incredible I'll get to submit to major publishers. I worked so hard on this book for nearly seven years, so it's amazing to see that pay off and see how much I've clearly improved from my small press days. It was honestly what was keeping me going sometimes.

-I went to Japan and had an INCREDIBLE time, saw so many great sights, went on a self guided Sailor Moon pilgrimage, got way to much merch and souvenirs...I was just the trip I needed after so much stress.

-I went to Anime expo, saw so many cool panels, saw Kamome Shirahama and met and got an autograph from Ryoko Kui!

-My incredible partner continued to stick by me through everything, and we've gotten to know each other more than ever. We'll be coming up on our two year dating anniversary soon!

-I read the Odyssey cover to cover! And read so many good books and watched so many good shows.

-I wrote fanfiction again for the first time in years, and got a good response!

weight loss talk content warning, under the cut

-I lost roughly 40 pounds, at a healthy rate, just exercise and controlling my desire to overeat and have lots of treats...so I'm now under 200 pounds for the first time in four years, and honestly I do sincerely have way more stamina and I like that.

The weight gain was once again the result of depression during quarantine and trying a medication that had major weight gain as a side effect because I was desperate to get relief from my depression (and it didn't even work). I might gain weight again someday, but hopefully never to that extent.

It's mostly nice to see I can be a lot more disciplined than I thought I could. I didn't think I'd have the willpower to keep up daily exercise (last time I lost weight it was like, 3-4 days and week and I didn't need to worry about my eating either) and controlling myself, so it's nice to see I can do things when I set my mind to it. I have no interest in being skinny, but I'm hoping to lose a bit more...but even if that doesn't happen so quickly or I hit a wall, I know regular exercise and moderation in eating will keep helping me regardless.

This year, I want to read more things, write more things, find a new job, make new friends, become more responsible and self reliant, and move forward with my novel and my agent. Who knows what life will throw at me this time, but I want to keep valuing my own accomplishments and build on my successes, and find what happiness I can in that, and also, value and support the people who love, value and support me.

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

between unsteady fingers and stuttering heart

Heist!Mark x reader | Words: 959 | Read on AO3

You are peeling potatoes in the kitchen while Mark runs through plans for the next heist, and you mentally make a note of everything you'll need to pack as he does so.

The date of the job is set for next week and in all honesty, was a rather abrupt decision, but sometimes you just have to take the windows of opportunity when they arise. Money has been tight as of late; this is essentially your equivalent of a quick cash-grab.

This particular heist required minimal planning and effort, but the location is some ways away, so the pair of you would be staying somewhere to lay low overnight once you get away with the goods, before making your way back home the following day.

‘— so we'll have a couple possible exits to work with, but we should be able to make a clean getaway no problem.’

‘That's good.’

‘Oh, and I managed to book a room for the night but since the whole thing was kind of last minute, they were pretty limited on what they could offer us, especially with our current budget. Bed's pretty big though. We can share.’

Your eyes widen at that, mind briefly unfocused just long enough for the blade to slip too far.

‘Ah–! Shit—’

Mark's head shoots up at your pained exclaim, rushing to the counter where you are standing as soon as he catches a glimpse of the blood trailing down your hand.

‘Oh shit, how'd you manage that?’ he asks, voice littered with concern.

He grabs and hands you some tissues to soak up the blood, and you cradle them around the cut on your thumb.

Moving to the sink, you run it under the water.

‘It's not too deep but the bleeding isn't stopping…’ you say, turning off the tap.

‘You're gonna need to wait a couple minutes for it to clot. Here, let me see.’

He holds out his hand and you instinctively give him your injured one to inspect the damage. It's minimal, really. More of an inconvenience than anything.

Mark hums with a concerned frown. ‘Better take care of it.’

He reaches out to flip open the door to one of the kitchen cabinets, rifling through various shelves.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Looking for the first-aid, duh.’

‘Mark. I don't need first aid, it's not a big deal.’

‘At least put a Band-Aid on it.’

You sigh. ‘Fine.’

He takes out an antiseptic wipe and a plaster and once again holds out a hand expectantly.

‘I can do it myself,’ you say blankly.

‘Well clearly not,’ he retorts. ‘You can't even handle a knife without hurting yourself right now, apparently.’

‘Oh, please, I was just… distracted.’

‘Oh yeah? What was so distracting?’

You sigh in frustration, not having a response (or at least no truth you care to give) and give him your hand defeatedly.

He guides you to sit down opposite him, resting your arm on the table, and you keep your hand steady as he wipes the surface of the cut.

‘You're being extra.’

‘I'm being safe, do you want it to get infected?’

It stings a little, making you wince slightly, and he mutters a small ‘sorry’.

You can't help but take note of how gentle and calm he is as he handles you. Mindful and delicate. Your eyes drift from your connected hands up to his concentrated gaze, where they stay for a moment, watching the slow movement of his dark eyes.

You know for sure he would try to play down his own, actually serious injuries; it's happened before — and in the midst of your worry you didn't hesitate to give him a mouthful for his recklessness.

This is such a simple task in comparison, and yet the care with which he patches up the small, insignificant cut makes your stomach flip.

He finishes wrapping the plaster around your thumb, smoothing down the end.

‘All done! That wasn't so hard, was it?’

You mumble your thanks, looking down at your hand still in his.

‘Y'know, for someone so good with knots, grappling guns and all that jazz, it amazes me how clumsy you can be sometimes.’

‘...I told you, I just wasn't paying attention for a second,’ you say with a huff.

‘Mhm. You can't even use my distractingly handsome face as an excuse, you were facing the other way!’

You roll your eyes indignantly and he chuckles, tracing the smallest circle into your palm.

With a small quirk of a smile, he suddenly brings your hand up in front of him so his lips just barely brush your thumb over the plaster.

‘Need me to kiss it better?’ he teases, gaze flicking upwards to meet your own.

Your breath catches. There are a solid few seconds of you staring: eyes, lips, hands, before you quickly pull your hand away to your chest, flustered.

‘I– I'm good,’ you utter, vision averted to anywhere other than his smirking face.

‘Alright then. Do you need me to take over, or…?’ he asks, gesturing to the half-peeled potato on the counter.

‘Oh! Thanks, but I've got it now, don't worry,’ you reassure, with a small, appreciative pat on his arm as you get up to make your way over to the counter.

Your skin still tingles ever so slightly with the warmth from his palms. You spare a moment to wonder whether he realises the effect he has on you, before quickly shaking those thoughts from your head.

Mark goes back to his plans, marking out paths and points on his diagram and listing off escape routes, when it occurs to you what had sidetracked your attention in the first place.

Oh no.

It is going to be a long couple of days.

[britt-kageryuu]

The guys are sitting around a large table that has a long grill through the middle, with a couple metal plates on some parts that act as griddles. The table seems to be on a rooftop somewhere, but the skyline is blocked by canvas sheets painted to look like a New York City Skyline.

The guys are all dressed in color coded shorts, their masks, and shirts with different graphics on them. Raph = an Aligator Snapping Turtle holding a barbell in its mouth wearing sweatbands, Donnie = Reboot Process Interrupted Current Mood: Murderous, Leo = a turtle covered ing glitter with a unicorn horn on its head, Mikey = I have a Psychology Degree and am Eager to Use It! (Threat).

They were having Yakiniku, with a few other things on the grills and griddles, chatting among eachother, and answering questions from the chat. On one end Mikey was experimenting with 'steam baking' a cake on the griddle.

Shelldon is flying around the area announcing the questions, while River is in stand-by/sleep mode on a box in the back charging. Shelldon is also acting as a speaker playing music as he floats around.

"So we had to send someone to grab some more ingredients, the poor new guy was so confused by the list, so I volunteered to go with him." Mikey says as he checks his experiment, "This guy apparently never went shopping in the marketplace before, and I swear he almost overpaid on ingredients, so many times. Senior Hueso gave us a budget, and I wanted to make sure we stuck to it."

Shelldon swerves around next to Donnie, "Hey Dad, TechnoTurtle, wants to know how you have so many 3D models in such a short amount of time. Got any answers Dude-Dad?"

Donnie was in the middle of eating so it took a minute for them to answer, "Well to be honest, I have planned to make numerous games with 3D models in the past, and then lost interest for various reasons. So I had all the Models saved on a spare memory bank." They pause to take a sip of their drink, "And before we get a question about the many outfits, I left some odd videogame clothes/costume data attached to the models so it's very easy to add new outfits. Think of our Models as videogame avatars instead of VTuber models. Also I don't know what programs others normally use for making VTuber models, Mandarin and I have been using a mix of my programs, and some free to use art programs."

Mikey is seen moving his cake experiment to a counter near the table to cool under a netted cube, "I may have made our original model concepts, and done some minor rigging for them, but once we discovered the mix of programming we use now, yeah definitely better for us. I may love doing art, but making models for VTubing was more complicated than I wanted to deal with." Mikey quickly grabs a few pieces of meat and veggies from the grill with tongs, "Heck, once I told everyone I designed our models, I had to emphasize on my commission page that I don't do models. But I have been making 2D, 2.5D model Assets, with a wide variety of skin tones, and even different species variants." Mikey says with some pride in his voice.

Leo was about to say something, but stopped to stare as Donnie starts to eat a sandwich, he made with grilled meats and veggies, whole. It wasn't an unusual sight for the guys, but it's been a while since he last saw Donnie do this. And that's not to mention the audience who are all very confused and concerned by this.

"I don't know why I'm surprised to see you eat like that Dee, but Wow. I forgot you could-" Leo paused for a sec, "That almost came out very wrong. And not in a way I would want to say."

Sadly some of the audience was able to pick up on the almost innuendo, thankfully they didn't mention it in chat, but they did make memes out of the clip.

Donnie looked at Leo with great offense after finishing his sandwich. "Annoyed Huff. Rude. Dear Brother, you can not fault me for my softshell instincts!" They say with a huff and crossed arms. Their tail seen whipping around behind them.

Raph just lets out a sigh with a shake of his head. "You two are always so chaotic with eachother. But you're my knucklehead brothers." He uses some custom chopsticks to flip the meat he put on the grill before eating it after a few seconds.

The stream goes on with more chatting, and eating, though after a bit of time they're joined by April, Cass, and CJ. With a note that their Dads are on vacation, to get away from some the guys chaotic antics recently.

The chaotic antics in question were not mentioned, much to the audiences great disappointment.

--------------------

Masterpost

This was at least partly my original idea for their 4th of July post, but I decided that the guys would rather just enjoy the festivities instead of streaming the entire time.

And yes Donnie is swallowing the sandwich whole. I just realized how wrong/weird it sounds to describe that hence the 'unspoken innuendo' line.

[sinnershavesoulstoo]

I'm looking for fairly priced commissioned illustrators

I know I'm not super active on here much anymore, but I'm a busy little woman. (AKA a massive ADHD headcase who has 40 different projects going on that take up most of my time now)

Last year I wrote a children's book. I was going to publish it and it was 4 pages too short. Which is probably good for me, because it was a spur of the moment thing that I did in 2 months. I have the ideas for the 4 pages on sticky notes and I just have to finish up the wording.

I thought I was going to be great at doing illustrations on my laptop because it was touch screen and I'm fine at other art mediums. Turns out I'm only good at pen and paper drawings. Like - seriously - huge props to everyone that does digital art.

But I'm looking for someone to illustrate this 32 page children's book for me and let me buy the rights to your artwork. I don't expect this book to be a best seller, I don't expect this book to cost much once it's in print. Truth be told - I wrote this book for a friend as a halfway joke/to be encouraging for them, but I think it's actually good enough to be published. It would give me something to add to my small list of big accomplishments and I'd love to have an actual published book because it's been on my bucket list since 2016.

I'm going to be extremely transparent here. I'm new to all of this. I am not necessarily mad at my art work seeing as it was the first time I've tried digital art, but it could be better. I love the cover, the inside cover pages (they're the same drawing), and the dedication page. If I could find someone who could just take my artwork and redefine it, that would be ideal. I assume fine tuning someone's pre-existing work would be cheaper. This book means a lot to me, but I don't even make a living wage. I can pay someone between $200 and $250 to help me make this dream a reality. I know it's not really a lot of money for something this big, and it's likely a pipe dream - but I have to at least try to find someone who might want to help me out.

I would absolutely and very obviously add your name to the book as the illustrator. Again, since I'm not expecting this to be huge, I don't expect to have any/much profit from it - which is why I'm hoping to buy the rights to your artwork.

If anyone would be willing and is serious about this:

I will send you the book in it's current form and the extra pages I'm looking to add.

I'd love to look at your 'portfolio' to see if your art work is what I have in mind. If you decide going the route of changing my artwork a little is better, I'd love to see a sample of how you would change it.

I'll send you some form of communication other than Tumblr once we establish it's a good fit, because I don't get on here a ton! Likely an email address or my google information so we can share stuff more easily.

If you're into it and my monetary budget isn't enough - I can cross stitch, I have a few Squishmallows, I have a lot of mini brands, and I have a lot of starter Pokémon cards that I'd absolutely be willing to send to you as well.

TLDR: I'm looking for someone to illustrate/help illustrate a 32 page children's book that is a passion project of mine. I can offer between $200 and $250, plus some other collectable items I have at my house or a handmade cross stitch project (or all of the above). I'd love to buy the rights to your artwork and I'm happy to send what I have for the book so far if you're truly interested in helping me with this. I'd love to have reference art from you to make sure it's what I'm looking for!

[mweothe11e]

Hello!

Hope my ask finds you in great shape. My initials are S.R and my rising sign is ascendant in leo.

My go to pick up song is shape of you by ed sheeran.

-that habit is me being stuck in fear of things going South or not working out and so the doomscroll, I think I will try to assure myself that it's just thoughts and not reality.

Thank you so much for your energy and time.

Hi SR ,

Thank you so much for participating in my new ask game.

Shape of You has always that relaxed and fun song to listen to~

So the habit you want to change is your freezing at the idea of worst case possible which will lead you to start doom scrolling. Definitely, we're the same in this habit.

One thing I do for this is to name:

5 things I can see around me 4 things I can hear at the moment 3 things I can feel within my grasp 2 things I can smell near me 1 thing I can taste in my mouth

If that doesn't work, I literally angrily brisk walk around my neighborhood.

Here are the following cards pulled for your reading:

3 of Coins, Star, Lovers

So the first thing you can do to how yourself realign is to collaborate with those who you share the same/similar goals. It's easier to be committed to your goals when you are with someone who's on the path to achieve the same results.

Another interpretation is to ask for any kind of help or assistance from an experienced mentor. With this one, there's the feeling of your goals have this established apprenticeship practice. It's really hard to explain how this specific goal of yours is manifesting. Also, if the word "mentor" doesn't resonate, I heard "trainer", "teacher", or "coach".

The last possible interpretation for the first card is to diversify your current skill sets. With this one, there's a possibility that you might have been too niched as of late, so you don't realize that your goals require different kinds of corelating skills for you to turn those dreams into reality.

P.S. I heard "Do things within your budget".

The next card suggests that you should first give yourself adequate time to heal, rest, and recuperate before spearheading back to your goals. Oddly enough, your energy feels burnt out, depleted and downright exhausted. It's not just physical exhaustion, it's also emotional and mental fatigue.

Give yourself the time to recharge properly before moving forward. You can use the time to reassess what worked and what didn't but don't push yourself too hard, also don't forget to sleep on time while reassessing your current progress with your chosen approach.

Another way to interpret this is to (Damn even I hate to admit this but...) be a bit more positive and optimistic about your progress towards your goals. Okay, lemme preface, I'm not asking you to be delulu is solulu. What I'm asking you is to not expect the worst when you're clearly doing your best.

Like, you're allowed to want to be hopeful that you are meant and are deserving of more than you originally estimated. There's nothing wrong with being that kind of hopeful. Just don't energetically block your blessings by believing that you aren't capable of amounting to more than what you thought you are worthy of.

The last possible interpretation I can think of is for you to get inspired to show up for your future self. If you feel like making a vision board, make it the most motivating vision board you would resonate with. You can go make your own digital vision board as your phone/laptop wallpaper.

The final card suggests that make sure your skills and habits are mutually beneficial. Like don't just master one skill when you can treat acquiring skills and goals like a Pokemon trainer, go ahead and Catch them all~

So let me expound this a bit further...

There's this currently new concept in the job market called "portfolio career" where you work in different kinds of jobs, acquiring multiple skills from different industries, like a RPG character that treats learn skills like hunting for different side quests.

I find your energy oddly refreshing because the main energy I'm picking up for you so to be open to multiple odd job opportunities to eventually achieve your main goals in the future.

It's like how I'd imagine a Sagittarius would go about in their career. Treating life like a huge adventure game, collecting skills as if you're hunting for hidden side quests.

Another way to interpret this is by striving to balance your work life from your home and personal life. Like, don't go all out towards your career, then forget why you started in the first place.

The last interpretation I can think of you'll thrive best in a partnership. So if you're the type to want to go the entrepreneur route, it isn't advised for you to go at it alone. It's better for you to find someone you can trust that has your best interest at heart. So basically, be extra vigilant with who you choose to work with.

This concludes the end of your reading.

Do let me know in my ask inbox how this reading resonates with your current situation.

If you have follow-up questions or want to a more extended reading, feel free to head into my paid readings and purchase a reading.

Feel free to send some tips in my Buy-Me-a-Coffee account to show some support for my services.

This ask game reading is simply for entertainment purposes only. Remember, you are free to discern if this reading resonates with you or not.

[sorcerous-caress]

Hi! I really admire the way you write bg3 charas and I was curious about your opinion- what you think about the polyamory options in the game? iirc Shadowheart and Astarion are open to it- Shadowheart at least is enthusiastic about poly with Halsin and a four/fivesome with the drows at Sharess’s Caress, I’ve seen mixed interpretations of Astarion’s reactions. Karlach I think? Says she’s open to it but due to circumstance wants a closed relationship. (Halsin ofc is very openly poly.)

Do you think any of the comps could conceivably have and enjoy a healthy poly relationship outside of what we see in game, and (toying the line of bobcourse {bob discourse} and it’s totally fine if you don’t want to touch that) (actually it’s totally fine if you don’t feel like answering this in general; please don’t feel pressured by this monster of an ask!!) do you think the ones we have rn are healthy? 👀 Sorry if you’ve talked about this already!

(Btw the theme looks great! Diarrhea never came to mind at all)

Thank you so much <3 This means a lot.

Okay, just to be clear, poly isn't having threesomes and vice versa, so I don't think we should use their willingness to have the orgy in Sharess's Caress as a frame of reference. Because the drow twins are two strangers and not people they're in a poly relationship with.

Poly relationships don't require having sex. They're like any other relationship, just with more people. AroAce people can be poly too.

Also, I think the reason we don't have poly ingame besides Halsin, which was a last edition, is because Larian ran out of time and budget. They'd have to make whole new scenes with whole new dialogue trees and animations.

And keep in mind that they're characters, just tools and dolls. Not real people. You can headcanon them all as poly, and it's valid.

Anyway, so here is my opinion who is and who isn't poly ingame.

There are monogamous exlusive characters who make it very clear they don't want poly: Gale, Minthara and maybe Lae'zel

There are some who show being poly but can't due to circumstances and the current options of people: Shadowheart, Karlach, and Astarion.

Side note, I really don't believe that theory going around about how Astarion was only willing to be poly with Halsin because "high elves don't take relationships with wood elves seriously". Maybe if this was dos2 then sure, but Larian really removed most of these things in Baldur's Gate 3.

It feels like cherry-picking. If we are going with this old representation of high elves, then based on that, he'd never be with any non-high elf Tav, not even human. Astarion agreed to share with Halsin because he is clearly comfortable with him. It feels belittling and insulting to both of their queerness to even consider this theory. Especially with how his past lover was a whole drow, you really think a high elf who is racist against wood elves would consider loving a drow if this was the case?

This leaves Wyll, which... honestly, I'm not sure how to categorise him.

Wyll is selfless. He always assumes you're going to choose the other person in Act 2 and bids you farewell, saying how the dance you shared will be a nice memory.

He focuses on his love for you, not owning you, not being possessive, but genuine overflowing love and poems. I think Wyll might be open to being poly but not just with anyone, it would have to be someone he loves as deeply as you.

*cough* Karlach Tav Wyll poly *cough* WE WERE ROBBED

Also, you were very kind and polite in your ask. It's really refreshing <3. Thank you for being so understanding and thoughtful.

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Rumor had it...

Until someone said something...

And then another someone said something...

I won't sugarcoat it, though... I'm sure SPIDER-MAN: BEYOND THE SPIDER-VERSE saw something of an overhaul after it was **clear** that it was never going to make its initial 3/29/2024 release date.

This happens on many animated movies. Whole movies' worth of unused story stuff gets chucked, and ideally... That happens EARLY in production, before whole chunks of the movie are animated and finalized.

We heard all the stories of the animators being crunched on ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE, stuff being changed at the very last minute on Phil Lord's whims (because of his and Miller's whole "improvisational" approach to making things, which arguably isn't conducive to huge-budget movies. See also, their time on SOLO), to the point where at least two versions of the movie ran simultaneously in theaters and even further changes were evident on the disc release.

And this was all when Sony put it out there that BEYOND THE SPIDER-VERSE would follow in nine months...

Really, if you're going to do a back-to-back set of movies (remember, ACROSS was going to be a "Part One"), be ready to do so. With live-action, you can film both parts pretty close together depending on everyone's schedules. With big screen animation? Uhhhh, well, again... If everything's locked and in place... But that clearly was NOT the case with BEYOND THE SPIDER-VERSE. The delay gives them plenty of time to actually work stuff out **before** things are animated.

I'm not panicking. The movie is nowhere near done. I have no idea what it'll be like. I'm not gonna prematurely write off the end of the SPIDER-VERSE trilogy.

I'm totally okay with stuff being figured out now than right before release date. Not everything is a last-minute miracle like TOY STORY 2, whose final year of production should've went down in history as a "Phew! The movie turned out great, BUT... Never again!" situation.

I'm saying, LOCK the picture a year in advance. It's like finishing a great clay project, now you have to put it in the kiln. The way some animated productions go, like ACROSS, like FROZEN I & II, etc.... It's like they keep shutting off the kiln, taking the halfway-fired clay project out to "fix" it, put it back in, take it out again, "fix" it, put it back in- You get the idea? It sounds like hell!!

Do like Walt Disney. Razor into the picture and tear it down WELL before anything is animated. But the current industry model seems to love this whole "Oh yeah, we can tweak and fix it while it's in production!" thing.

As for the whole "most of the movie got thrown out" rumors? The InSneider isn't a place I get my news from, and I hear it's not the most reputable place... That being said, despite Pemberton and Miller's claims, I have no doubt stuff got thrown out. It happens on productions, especially this far out from release date. The base is probably the same, the construction is probably just different, that's all. I'm sure what we'll see on the big screen a few years from now is rooted in what was planned back in 2022/23...

All I know is, production wasn't near beginning on BEYOND when ACROSS was in theaters. Approximately July 2023-ish. Hailee Steinfeld had remarked that she didn't even record her lines for BEYOND, and the Vulture expose on the working conditions on that movie said that only some test sorta stuff had been done on BEYOND and little else. A release date is usually a suggestion anyways, a number meant to whet the appetites of investors, no matter how far along the movie actually is. Animated movies of this caliber are often delayed, sometimes outright scrapped. Disney Animation, Pixar, DreamWorks, etc. Off the top of my head, outside of a sequel, a more original/untested animated movie keeping its first-announced release date post-2010 seems rather rare... Possibly a list for another day? I dunno!

So... Yeah, BEYOND THE SPIDER-VERSE is a long time away. No concrete release date is currently set, Sony Animation has other projects in the works (such as K-POP: DEMON HUNTERS, dropping on Netflix next year), and it's a big finale to what's already a massive multiverse epic... And I'm sure, given the current culture of leaks and rumors and info being so readily available at our fingertips, this picture will see a ludicrous amount of scrutiny before release.

If those stories never got out about ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE, would the ever-so-fickle online animation fansphere have overnight shifted to "it's only half a movie thus it sucks"/"it's not very good, actually"/"ohhhh it definitely shows"? After all that gushing praise? If we never knew these behind the scenes stories, would we even tell that some of these movies had a lot of trouble coming together?

Most of our big favorites were not cakewalks. Making things is often hard! Of course, this is not to excuse crunching the animators, my larger point is... BEYOND is nowhere near being done, so... I can only hope whatever issues the story has, they're being worked out now. Or were being worked out after the film was listed as a TBD release.

... And, let's just say I dislike the movie come 2026/2027?

I'll just go watch something else. I've been disappointed by sequels before, and I'm doing okay I'd like to think lol. Fanfiction exists, your alternate "better" version is in your head, etc. When something stinks to me, I try to chalk it up to "They made decisions that they thought were right at the right time, and it just didn't work out."

[hesokuri-wars]

I never got the chance to play this game, but it looks so fun... Why was it shut down? Also, are there any other oso-san games still available?

Well, nobody here was playing around the time of the shutdown, so we wouldn't really be experts on the situation. Either way, game staff in general don't just outright tell players the reasons for discontinuation, but I think the safe assumption would be that they simply didn't have the budget to keep it running anymore. Which... honestly, was a possibility that I had been concerned about for a while, given how much the game grew to rely on its whales. I could be way off on this, but the fact that they flat started requiring to spend money to roll for premium sets had the alarm bells going off in my head.

As for the (mobile) games still available now, there are three - Pokomatsu, Tabimatsu, and NEETPro, all of which region-locked to only Japan (assuming you don't live there, if you want to know of a way to get around this issue, follow the instructions in the FAQ under "how to install the app" - the process should be the same).

And because I have thoughts on all of them, I wrote up a brief description on each game before concluding with my personal thoughts on the current state of the Ososan Gaming Experience, but I'm not sure if anyone else really cares that much so I'm putting it under a cut lol. Links to downloading the games are included below as well for those who are curious.

Pokomatsu (Apple Link / Android Link)

I kind of talked about this one just the other day, but basically, it's the game that "replaced" Hesokuri Wars. Not only does it use a lot of Heso's assets, but the Twitter account for Hesokuri Wars and Pokomatsu is one and the same.

And... that's really it as far as similarities go. Hesokuri Wars was a tower defense game, and Pokomatsu is that one game where you aim and shoot balls at objects/people that are slowly advancing towards you and have to hit them enough times to win (idk if there's a more succinct name for this type of gameplay). Also, you can collect screenshots from the anime, movies, and Heso, either by playing/progressing or by rolling in the gacha. The basic story of the game is that the sextuplets are defending themselves from having their roles as the protagonists stolen by the other characters.

Here's a sample of some gameplay, if you're curious. Note that the voice clips are recycled directly from Heso. Also, it's incredibly noisy, so I guess that's just another similarity the two share.

Mod Ichi's Opinion: If you like this sort of game, then go ahead and give it a try, but I personally can't see myself getting too invested in it. Collecting the cards is its main selling point, but even that's not really all that given that they're just screenshots as opposed to original art. Also, I think I'm bad at it because I can't get past Stage 8. Never mind, I was playing it while I was typing this and I just beat it lol. But now I can't get past Stage 9.

Tabimatsu (Apple Link / Android Link)

AKA the other big Oso game from back in the day, although it still wasn't as big as Heso. The premise is that the sextuplets are traveling to all of the prefectures in Japan to pick up money, and the gameplay is in the form of a board game where you roll a die and move around. Much like Heso, had its fair share of original outfits and events, but it's currently in a bit of a weird place because it's been dormant for the past few years; it's still there for people to download and play, but it hasn't had a proper update since like 2020/2021 aside from the occasional maintenance. It's very clearly on its last legs, but it's still available to the public, presumably because it's not as costly to run as some other games of the past.

A sample of gameplay.

Mod Ichi's Opinion: I really enjoyed this game when it was more active! I'd like to replay it for the nostalgia, but it refuses to load properly on my phone teehee.

NEETPro (Apple Link / Android Link)

This one was released in conjunction with the first movie. It's also made by the same people who made Tabimatsu.

NEETPro is by far the simplest out of all the games, being more of a story-driven visual novel and not much else - I think this is the first and only Ososan mobile game to not have any gacha function? You play as a female showbiz manager, Totoko is your supervisor (she quit being an idol), and you're responsible for managing a sextuplet of your choice. Depending on the choices you make throughout the story, you either succeed in turning him into a movie star, or he stays a NEET.

In other words, this is the closest thing to an official Ososan otome game that exists. Like I said, this game is very much just a visual novel and not much else, so it basically was just released and not really updated since. I also found a tweet posted by the official Tabimatsu account from this September announcing the app would no longer be available on the Google Play store (though people who already had the app can still play), so like. That pretty much confirms that keeping this game up to date isn't exactly a top priority of the staff.

A sample of gameplay.

Mod Ichi's Opinion: I'm playing Ichi's route and I keep trying to brute force him into letting me become his manager and at one point he grew convinced that I was secretly an assassin plotting to kill him. Anyway, I don't think you'll have much use for this if you can't read Japanese or can't find a translation somewhere.

Overall

I feel like I've been hinting at this all throughout this post, but Ososan doesn't seem to be thriving in the mobile game sphere as of late. We used to have games like Hesokuri Wars, Damematsu, and Shimamatsu, all of which were rife with content, but all three current games I described above are fairly low-maintenance to keep running, have very sparse updates, and overall just don't seem to be here to keep your long-term interest. Maybe it's not too fair to say that about NEETPro, given the type of game it is (not to mention that it mainly served as promotional material for the movie), but like. Tabimatsu? That game used to consistently get new content, until one day, all that just stopped.

Idk I don't really have a conclusion to all of this lol this isn't meant to be some thesis or anything. It's just that when I went back to see which games were still available to the public, I immediately noticed the lack of actual content, and it's such a downgrade. It kind of bothers me as someone who not only rigorously played Heso for years, but also was super into checking out every other game the staff would drop.

🐾 Mod Ichi

[vide0days]

i'm back home now and already feel distant from the energy i cultivated whilst i was away. my mantra upon returning has always been keep the momentum going but how do i keep it going when its buried deep in a place i can't access? i have a lot of decisions to make and once again, i'm back in the depths of uncertainty and constant questioning and isolation (the small town i'm currently in doesn't help). this week i'm going to force myself to finally leave and commit to moving. as reluctant as i am to let go of this tiny bubble, i know i need to do it, everything will fall into place once i make a decision and stick to it. part of me is still clinging to the idea of booking another flight and continuing the travel dream but i promised myself this next chapter would involve creating some sort of stability for myself (at least for now). lately i've been obsessing over not having a home (or even any furniture to put in a home). i suppose watching friends buy homes (and feeling so far away from that/ not even sure i want that) and then getting lost in room rental websites (scrambling/ stressing over finding somewhere to live that's within my budget- the options are limited) are feeding into it. i'm back to obsessing over packing up my things in boxes and wanting to be able to leave at a moments notice. i guess what it all boils down to is that i am afraid of commitment. i'm afraid of making a decision and sticking to it. i thought these last 6 months of travel would bring some sort of clarity but all its done is open more doors (which of course i'm grateful for). forever flirting with futures. forever wanting to keep my options open.

[peetapiepita]

Thoughts on what general audiences can do for the WGA and SAG strikes

I've read up a lot on the strike situation these past weeks because I'm someone who consumes A LOT OF media content. The strike will affect my daily life and I'm a curious girlie when it comes to show biz rules. So here are some of the takeaways I wanna share with my fellow audience:

1. Understand the strike

The strike is happening for 2 major reasons:

1.) The studios are refusing to pay the creators/actors residuals on streaming services.

This makes it hard for the majority of writers and actors to make a living by doing their respective jobs. They used to rely on residuals from old projects (DVD and blue-ray sales, renting, etc.) to pay bills. That's just not happening today.

To try to get out of paying residuals, the major studios started this trend this year to take old and new shows/movies off their streaming platforms and use them as an excuse for a tax write-off. Disney did this last month and got a 1.1 billion tax write-off. They can currently do that without consulting the people involved AT ALL, taking away their livelihood without warning.

2.) The studios want to retain the rights to use AI writing and performing.

In the negotiation with SAG, they proposed a plan to pay actors only one day's wage to use their AI image FOREVER without paying them ever again. And the actors wouldn't have a ground to argue that. This is straight out of Black Mirror Season 6 Joan is Awful. Netflix is really writing its own villain origin story right now.

So what would happen if the workers budge and give up mid-way?

They'll end up losing their means to survive and have their images stolen. So striking for a few months is definitely better than starving indefinitely.

What's happening right now?

Right now, no projects fiananced by AMTPT companies can film with SAG members or develop with WGA members, which means only a very small percentage of all Hollywood productions can still happen. (More to come about this.)

With finished projects, if they're being released in the next few months, they're going to be released without any promo from the actors. They can't take part in interviews, premieres, fan events, or even post about their projects on social media.

2. Help with the strike.

Now that the double strike has officially happened, what's the best outcome for the workers and the audiences?

If you're just a casual entertainment enjoyer:

Cancel the streaming services not essential to you. The studios are going to panic more when they start losing even more money.

If you're a fan of a fanchise/upcoming blockbuster:

Flood the companies behind it, demanding them negotiate with the SAG and WGA on their own and agree to a fair deal. Threat not to support the projects unless it's settled fairly.

These studios with upcoming big-budget movies are bleeding money and panicking right now, any added pressure is good.

If one company buckles, the others would follow suit.

If you have money to spare: (Congrats on being rich, btw!)

Donate to the unions and support the ones with lower income in the first place, they'd be struggling with bills if the strike goes on for too long.

For everyone:

Call out big studios who are still planning on filming projects during the strike.

Please note there are exceptions to the strike rule:

1.) Foreign productions.

Please note an actor has to be part of the foreign union to work on these. Some of the foreign unions are still in meetings to decide if they'll allow US companies to work with their members, the most notable ones being the UK one and the Canadian one. Fingers crossed they don't fall for the deals the US studios are offering.

2.) Indie productions.

Indie companies can make their own deals with the workers since they're not included in the overall deal. So a very small amount of US projects can still happen. Make sure a project doesn't fall into this category before calling them out for scabbing.

That's about it for now. I might add more later in the replies if I think of anything.