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#so if you want one easy way to read them all: here you go!
darnell-la · 3 days
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can we get some nsfw of logan heavily infantilizing reader? i know he's a mean mean man and i want him to make us cry 🥺 just wanna be doted on but also fucked like a beast
note: Logan is a very nasty individual in this story. He’s degrading, calls the reader out of her name many times, fucks rough, is manipulative, possessive, and more…
having Logan Howlett claim you are one of the best-given things that could happen.
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How do you guys feel about a x men story with reader? Logan being rude Logan at first, then slowly shows small affection towards the reader. Jealousy and things of that sort. They soon hit it off, and after Logan starts acting rude again, because he’s scared of the love he grew for her. It’ll be a long story, but something to read at night. ALL ON WATTPAD! Comment below, please!
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“You’re so fuckin’ childish, y/n, do you know that!? So fuckin’ childish!” Logan shouted at the girl as he placed her into his passenger seat. The man slammed the door in her face before walking around to the car.
Y/m scoffed as she crossed her arms, knowing she was wrong for what she’d done tonight, but at least she had fun.
Logan treats y/n like she has no idea what the world is like. Wade speaks to him, telling him he should take it easy because is his friend. Not Logan’s.
“Well, if I’m gonna stay in an apartment with two kids, I expect them to have manners and respect. If not, then I’m out of here,” Logan threatened a few months ago when he first got here.
Y/n had come home drunk out of her mind at three in the morning after Logan and Wade had been worried all night.
Her phone had died. She explained that to them, and Wade understood, but when she came through that door smiling, laughing, and giggling with the friend who dropped her off, it triggered Logan.
“I know pay the bills, and the apartment is his, but I’ll kick you the fuck out, kid,” Logan threatened as he got into the car and started it up, ready to get home and rest without stressing about y/n.
“I’m a grown woman, Logan. If I wanna go out and get drunk with my friends, I can!” Y/n turned towards the man just to yell before turning back towards the door, looking out of the window.
“What kinda fun is that, y/n? You’re a college student, you’ve got classes in the afternoon, you need to study, but instead, you’re out almost every weekend, pissy drunk and begging for a man to touch you,”
“What!? I don’t even go out with men! I reject them all,” y/n said, confused about why he even cared about her getting with anyone.
“Sure you don’t. Every time I pick you up or you walk through that door, you’re dressed sluttier. Every fucking time!” Logan yelled, hands groping the wheel as he drove through the city to head home.
“At this point, you’re just stressing yourself out. Let me live my life like I let you, okay? Fuck!” Y/n complained.
“So slutting around is living life now? God, you kids are fucking dumb,” Logan shook his head. “I don’t slut around!” Y/n basically screamed at the man.
“Lower your fucking tone when you talk to me, young lady!” Logan looked her way. The anger in his voice made her back up, trying to keep a straight face, but it was hard.
“Always fuckin’ yellin'. Can you ever shut the fuck up for once? Just do better in life and shut the fuck up — Grow up! Because you’re a-fucking-nnoying,” the man got out.
Y/n looked out of the window in silence, holding back her tears as the man continued.
“Be a fuckin’ lady, and respect yourself for once. For once!” He hit the wheel, making the girl jump. “Respect me!” The man hit the wheel again, but harder.
Y/n wiped a tear from her cheek quickly so he wouldn’t notice, but he did. Once he did, the man laughed to himself. “Unbelievable,” the man shook his head, disappointed in her.
“You can yell at me, but when I start yellin’ and tellin’ you what you look like, you start carrying. Fucking pathetic. Seriously!”
Logan didn’t mean to hurt the girl's feelings. He was just angry. He hated seeing her out and doing things he didn’t want her to do. Why can’t she just listen to him? Why does she need other people to make her happy when she has Wade and him at home.
The rest of the car ride was silent. Y/n wouldn’t sniff here and there, but low so she wouldn’t start Logan up again. She was embarrassed and disappointed in herself.
Right as Logan parked the car, y/n pulled on the handle to get out, but he had locked the door before she could.
“Looks y/n-“ Logan went to say, but y/n cut him off. “Let me out,” y/n said with a stern voice. “Y/n, just hear me out-“ he tried to say again. “Let me out!” She yelled, not even looking at the man.
“Hey!” Logan reached for her arm and grabbed it tightly. Y/n tried yanking herself away, but he was stronger. “Let me go!” Y/n yelled, only angering the man further. He had become obvious to the strength he had.
“Ow, Logan!” Y/n shouted at the man, but all he did was grip harder. “Stay still, y/n!” Logan demanded. “You're hurting me!” She finally said as tears streamed from her eyes.
The way she looked at the man in pain, not just from his grip, but more so from his words. Looking into his eyes, he realized he had gone too far.
“Y/n,” Logan said low as she fought the man, slapping his hand, but he wouldn’t let go. He only loosened his grip. “Let me go!” She could barely yell, only cry.
Logan shifted his body and lifted his other hand to cup her cheek. When he did, she tried shaking her head to get him off, but it wouldn’t leave.
“Please!” She cried, but Logan didn’t let her leave. All he did was let her arm go, only to push her seat back and hover over her quickly, the other hand still on her cheek.
“Baby, don’t cry,” Logan said, but she couldn’t stop. She sobbed as she weakly slapped Logan’s body, telling him to leave her alone, but that was the last thing he was going to do.
“Baby, look at him — It’s okay, just look at me,” Logan said as he placed the other hand on her other cheek, forcing her to look at him.
“I’m sorry, y/n, okay? I’m sorry,” Logan spoke. That was when y/n cried harder with no words. “Aw, baby,” Logan said, trying to wipe her tears away, but they kept rolling.
“All I wanted was for you to be safe, baby. That it. It’s dangerous out here. You can’t just be goin’ out every night, looking the way you do. You just can’t,” Logan said.
“If you wanna drink, we got it at the house. You know that. No more goin’ out, and you won’t look like this anymore,” he said, hoping to manipulate her into staying in the house, and in his sight.
“Hey, hey, calm down,” Logan said and kept repeating until she ducked in her cries. It took her a while, but she managed.
“Please understand that I want you safe, y/n. Do you understand that?” Logan asked. Y/n slowly nodded her head with a sniff, making him smile slightly.
“That’s it, baby. All I want is for my baby to be safe — No more goin’ out after tonight. Maybe with me, but I have to be by your side. It’s too dangerous,” he said.
“B-But my friends,” y/n sniffed. “They’ll be fine, baby. They love you and will understand. You want me to trust you and not be stressed out, right? You want me to be? I’m gettin’ old, and ion needa be stressin’ about my girl,” Logan said.
Y/n nodded her head, halfway understanding what he wanted, but not fully. She didn’t ask though. She just knew by the way he always acted that he wanted her in sight and safe with no funny business.
“Good, baby, good,” Logan said, looking into the girl's eyes as she looked back up at him, eyes bloody and eyelashes batting.
“You’re too pretty to be seen without me, baby, and you know that, don’t you? Don’t you, baby?” Logan asked, making her nod again.
“That's right, and you're sorry for disobeying me, right?” He asked. The way he spoke to her, made her feel like she’s actually done something wrong.
“S-Sorry,” she said low. A groan slipped past the man’s lips at her words and voice. She was too sweet to believe she was real.
“Ah huh, and are you gonna show me just how sorry you are?” He asked. Y/n surprisingly nodded quickly, wanting him to know that she meant nothing personal by the way she lived.
“Good girl — Now turn around for me,” Logan said. Her mind wasn’t honking straight, but she did as told, apologizing for her body rubbing on his as she did so. “It’s okay, baby - You’re all good,”
“I’m just a little angry, and you understand that, right? It’s acceptable to why I am, right, baby?” He asked her, making her him with a nod.
“Ah huh, and you’re gonna help me relax, right, baby?” He asked and she repeated what she had done before, but more shaky. “That right,”
Logan began unbuckling his belt, watching the girl underneath him shiver from how drunk she was, the cold air coming through the cracked window, her crying session, and the confusion of this situation.
“Never listenin’ to me, baby. I don’t like that,” Logan said before giving y/n a hard slap on her ass that was covered in her tight thin dress. A whine had slipped from her mouth, only making the man groan.
“Yeah, and I’m gonna bring all this anger right out on and into you, baby,” Logan said as he pulled himself out. “And guess what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna lay here, and take it like the disrespectful little slut you are,”
Y/n whined at his words, feeling shitty for not being respectful towards the older man, but she’ll soon understand to listen.
“Every time I pick you up or watch you walk through those doors, you’re fuckin’ soaked. I just know you’re out and about, waiting for some random man to offer his cock,”
“I know you’re whore enough to take it too, now ain’t you?” Logan asked. “N-No,” y/n shook her head with a whine as he pulled her dress up, revealing her dark wet patch.
“Sure you’re not, baby. You know the drunk sluts always say that, right? Until they’re caught being stuffed and fucked in some bar bathroom,”
Y/n whined again at his comment about what he thought of her as his fingers hooked around her pants. The man pulled his fingers back, causing the panties to rip perfectly.
“You wanna be treated like some dirty slut at the bar?” Logan asked as he put his cock in his hand. “No,” y/n truly spoke, but he didn’t believe her.
The man grabbed a handful of her hair and then pushed her head into the seat. “Are you sure, baby? Because you’re gonna spreading in my passenger seat just like them club whores,”
Before y/n could say anything, the man laughed into her, forcing his huge length through her walls, knowing she would barely be able to take him.
“Logan!” Y/n cried out loud, voice crazy as she gripped and clawed at the seats. “Nah uh, you shut the fuck up!” Logan spat through his teeth as he leaned over and into the girl's ear.
“Pussy’s so fuckin’ wet, I know you want this. You always do. Comin’ back from the fuckin’ bar all soaked and full of attitude. I just know you rub that shit in my face,”
“I fuckin’ know you come through those doors wanting me to fuck your drunk ass through my mattress,” the man snapped his hips hard.
“Oh yeah? Can't take it?” Logan asked as the young girl cried in pain and pleasure. “S-Sorry, sorry,” she quickly whined as she back arched.
“No, you’re fucking not. You’re only sayin’ it now because I’m fucking this cunt dumb,” Logan growled in the girl's ear as he tugged on her hair.
“Slutty fuckin’ cunt - Grippin’ me like she ain’t been fucked in the club already,” Logan said, making the girl shake her head.
“N-No,” she managed to say. “Oh yeah? You’re tellin’ me no man has been in this cunt at the club? Fuckin’ you silly in the bathroom as you pass out from the liquor?” Logan asked.
He had already known the answer, but he was angry. He wanted to get everything out. If he could smell how wet she was every weekend, he could smell a man on her, and thankfully for her, he never has.
“N-No,” y/n whined as she came around him without warning. He hadn’t cared that she soaked his leather seats. All he cared about was how could he could fuck he’d. Maybe if he fucked he’d be good enough, she wouldn’t dare leave the apartment again.
“That’s what I fuckin’ thought. You don’t let another man touch you. Never!” He pounded, knowing the wind out of her with every thrust.
“I swear, if you do, baby, ima kill him. Ima fuckin’ kill him then lock your ass in my room,” Logan threatened, only making y/n moan.
“My fuckin’ cunt — Mine! All fuckin’ mine and you know it. You’ve been known it, Bub, and because you wanted to play games, I’m gonna teach you what the fuck happens when you do,”
Logan took the seatbelt to the car and tied it around her wrist after pulling them man. The man soon continued his anger by slamming into her until she cried, begging him to stop.
He was rough, but y/n knew deep down that she deserved it. She was disrespectful and didn’t listen to him. He should get what he wants.
“You're mine, right, baby? All mine to use like those I want at the bar and club?” Logan asked as y/n could barely keep herself conscious. “Y-Yes,” was all she could get out.
“That’s my girl,”
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sugarushwriting · 1 day
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vampire enhypen and you’re their human blood bank (part six!!???!)
jay isn’t happy with your decisions
neither is sunghoon
jake or heeseung
they became possessive over you and refuse to allow you to leave them
straight smut coming this chapter, forewarning. i will not warn anymore after the “keep reading” point. i am not the best at writing smut (jealous of those who can) so please be easy on me!!
next part (?) should not have heavy smut like this one or any at all. didn’t expect this many parts but hi, hello, here we are.
do not repost or translate. but please feel free to reblog, like, and comment! not proof read.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡
your leg nervously bounced while you waited in class for the professor to begin. students began whispering wondering why this class was mandatory. the girls were whispering wondering where jay was.
where was he? he made it a whole ordeal that you come to class today and he’s not even here?
the entire class period went by boringly, but the professor did talk about important things. maybe he did need to talk about it to everyone, but no need for it to have been mandatory and worth so many points.
as he dismissed class 10 minutes early, he called you to the podium where he stood.
“yes professor kong?” you asked adjusting your backpack on your shoulder.
“mr park needs to see you in his office. he says it’s about your recent grade.”
you stood frozen, “um, i thought i did okay on that paper?”
“he did too, but he said he found some things and he’s worried about plagiarism?”
“that’s ridiculous! all that work came from me and i made sure to reference correctly.”
the professor shrugged, “i haven’t seen it myself, and i trust mr park.”
well you didn’t. “thank you professor kong.” you nodded politely and walked out the classroom, an immediate ding to your phone notifying you had a text.
jay: come to my office. im watching you. don’t try to hide and run.
you read the text and huffed in annoyance. you looked around for him, but of course, if he didn’t want to be found by you, he wouldn’t.
you made your way to his office in the business building, which was luckily the same building class was held. you took the elevator to the top floor, and made your way to the end of the hallway were his small but cozy office was.
your university gave teaching assistants either their own office or shared office depending on the amount of work they would be doing for the professor. plus teaching assistants were required to hold office hours for extra help for students with a minimum of 2 hours a week. whether it was in person office hours or through zoom.
you raised your fist to knock, but startled when you felt a hot breath on your neck. quickly turning around, you came face to face with jay. your back flat against his door.
he reached beside you, unlocking the door. “go in.”
it wasn’t a question or statement. it was a demand. his tone was hushed, but deep. you recognize his authority tone he usually used on the guys.
you quickly turned back around and walked into his office.
he locked the door behind him, hands in his pocket and made no effort to talk to you.
“professor said you had worries about my paper?” you asked.
jay was behind his desk now, and his brown eyes snapped up from the drawer he was rummaging through. “your paper is fine.”
“but—,”
jays sharp eyes made contact with you and you quickly hushed. his irises were red.
jay grabbed a roll of duct tape and made his way towards you. he ripped off a piece, and when you went to ask what he was doing, he quickly placed it over your lips. again, he said nothing, until you lifted your arms to take off the tape.
“take off that tape and i will turn your ass black and blue.”
his tone was threatening, and even though usually you’d push back, something told you not to this time. you put your hands to your sides, waiting for his next move.
he took your bag off of your shoulder, then next, he taped your hands together in front of you.
he threw the tape off to the side, it clattering to the floor. jay stood in front of you, straight eye contact, pushing your body subtly to his desk, until your butt rested against it.
you’ve never seen jay so quiet. it terrified you to be honest. but you also felt a thrill. is he showing you his dominate side you’ve been asking for? or maybe this is his fed up side with your behavior. you knew you were to be mad at him. and you still was, however, for good sex? you might put it aside just for now.
jay roughly pushed you down on his desk, and put your arms to rest above your head. “move your hands and arms, and you won’t be able to lift them for weeks.”
another threat. you swallowed. jay wasted no time lifting your sweatshirt above your bra, and removing your sweatpants off your legs. without warning, jay slapped your underwear covered pussy—hard. like someone would slap an ass.
you tried to scream, but of course your mouth was covered so it was muffled. jay smirked.
he removed your underwear, throwing them over his shoulder, and pulled your bra down to expose your breast. he took each in one hand, gripping hard, causing pain. another muffled scream.
jay wasn’t being his usual gentle self. and you were thinking this is more than his dominate side.
your arms jerked, and jay raised a brow, waiting for you to move it, but you didn’t.
“good girl.” he praised, and you rolled your head to the side. he clicked his tongue on the root of his mouth, “nope, eyes on me the entire time.”
your head rolled back to meet jays eyes. “good to know you do listen.”
you were surprised when jays fangs extended. your eyes going wide. his kissed your jawline, the tape where your lips would be, and one kiss to you neck. he peppered kisses down your chest before his mouth latched on to a nipple, and you could feel his fangs slightly break skin.
another muffle scream came. he did it to the other breast. then he kissed down your stomach, occasionally scraping his fangs against your skin. your stomach recoiled at the slight touch, because one you were ticklish, second because you were nervous he was going to break skin fully, not just a tease.
he kissed down your body, your left thigh, left leg, then made his way back up your right leg, to your right thigh, stopping just inches away from your core. you could feel his hot breath fanning, and you wiggled a bit. he didn’t move. you whined behind the tape, earning a chuckle from jay.
your eyes closed as you waited for the sensation of his tongue licking your core. you didn’t notice jay was taking his pants and boxers off, stroking his cock twice, aligning himself to your entrance.
he roughly, swiftly, and quickly bottomed out, cause a deep groan of pleasure from his mouth. a loud muffled scream of pain came from your mouth behind the tape.
fuck you wasn’t expecting him to just bottom out like that. usually jay takes his time with slowly entering you. he always makes sure you’re wet enough.
“what a shame, usually you’re dripping for me. this time you’re barely wet.”
if you could talk you would scold him and say it’s because he didn’t give you time! he didn’t prep you!
he knew that. he wanted to bring you pain. a tear slipped from your eye. he didn’t give you time to adjust to his thickness when he started ramming in and out of you, at an unhuman speed and strength, or at least something you weren’t used to. his hands and fingers tightly gripped your thighs to hold you in place. your body rocked against his desk, scared it was going to break.
your eyes rolled to the back of your head, as jay mumbled incoherently under his breath. you couldn’t hear what he was saying, nor did you care.
not until you realized your arms left the place they were supposed to be, and went to wrap around jays neck.
he quickly removed himself, you moaning low from the loss of him, and he lifted you off the desk by pulling you by your taped hands.
“what did i tell you?” he asked through gritted teeth. your eyes went wide and he flipped you on your stomach, the cold surface hitting your bare breasts and stomach. your arms back reaching over your head, gripping the edge of the desk.
jay quickly entered you from behind, this time gripping your ass so tight, you really were gonna be black and blue after this.
all you could do was let muffled sounds escape from the tape as he hammered from behind, landing slaps to your ass.
his cock was reaching into your cervix, and you didn’t know to scream of pain or pleasure. tears now flowing out of your eyes.
your orgasm began building, and with jays sloppy and low sounds leaving his mouth, you knew he was close too.
it didn’t take long for him to come inside you. but just as you were so close, he removed himself and watched his come drip out of you.
you whined. you whined and cried because you were so close to your orgasm and he stopped! that wasnt like jay. he always made sure you orgasmed first, if not, at least made sure you had a successful orgasm.
you banged your fists on his desk in frustration, as his come slowly dripped out of your cunt, down your legs.
you began crying fully, because you just couldn’t control your emotions. your legs bucking, your knees going week. jay emotionless put his boxers and pants back on, lifting you up by your hair, leaning down to whisper in your ear.
“not nice when someone won’t listen to you huh? when they ignore you. when they ignore what you want and your needs.” jay snickered and dropped you back on the desk.
jay went to the other side of his desk, grabbing scissors from his drawer. no further word, he cut the tape from your bound hands, and lifted your chin from the desk, removing the tape—not so gently—from your lips.
but you were too wore out to even complain. you can’t fathom how you were tired. 2 simple positions, but jay used his strength and energy on you. he probably could’ve went harder, faster, but that might’ve killed you.
you lifted yourself on your forearms to look at jay, who still had that lazy smirk on his face. you lifted yourself fully, and when you went to lift your bra, you had to use two hands, but lost balance and fell to the ground. while lying there you lifted your bra to cover yourself again, and pulled down your sweatshirt. you reached over to grab your underwear that was lying on the ground next to you.
“you’re seriously gonna get dressed while lying down?”
you had no energy to even speak. you grabbed your underwear, but couldn’t even bend to put them on your legs.
jay sighed in frustration and disbelief (how dare he, jerk!!) and came to assist you with getting dressed. “good to know you can’t fight back. you’re coming home with me.”
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
jay threw you onto a bed. you couldn’t even focus on who’s bed and room he brought you to. a small sound came from your throat. wasn’t even a full sentence. you said, “thirsty.”
jay nodded and left the bedroom. oh shit were you gonna die of thirst now? your limbs were still weak but you could slightly move. what the fuck happened?
footsteps could be heard and you saw sunghoon enter with a cup of what you’re assuming is water, hopefully.
sunghoon said nothing as he came closer to you, helping you sit up in the bed and brining the cup to your lips. he assisted you with drinking the water.
“thank you.” you finally said in a whisper.
“our baby doll can talk now.” he smiled and patted your head. he laid you back down on the bed. it must be his.
sunghoon hovered over you, straddling, as he took off his shirt with a smirk. “be prepared baby doll. you’re not gonna be able to move for a while once we’re done with you.”
his lips came down to yours, a rush kiss, as he swiftly took off your pants and underwear at once and lifted your sweatshirt to expose your belly.
you were so distracted by his tongue deep in your mouth, you didn’t feel or notice sunghoon taking off his own pants and boxers. it wasn’t until he rubbed his tip against your clit.
“ah,” you moaned out from the feeling. your body still not recovered from jays attack or lack of orgasm. was sunghoon not gonna prep you either? he loved to eat your cunt out, almost, almost, as much as jake.
this would also be your first time having sex with sunghoon.
your thoughts were answered when he entered into you, slightly slower than what jay did. sunghoon was longer than jay, but with slight less thickness to him.
your hands went to sunghoons shoulders to grip, and he bottomed out, a loud moan leaving his lips. “why have i never done this before?” he mumbled to himself. your walls gripping him snuggly. “baby doll you feel so good and right for me. for us.”
sunghoon found a pace rocking his hips against yours, you connecting your lips together to muffle the sounds. once he started to reach an orgasm, his paced picked up and so did the roughness of how he fucked you. he lifted his lips off of yours as his fangs extended and his teeth scraped your shoulder like a slight pinch and he buried his head in your shoulder.
“so so good, baby doll.” he moaned, using his hand to wrap one of your legs around his waist for a deeper and better angle.
your head tilted as far back as possible from the pleasure building in your stomach once again. “sunghoon, im close.” you groaned out, removing your hands from his shoulders to grab onto the headboard.
you felt sunghoon fill you up with his come, and you were worried he wouldn’t let you come, but he fucked his come deeper into you as you soon came as well with the loudest moan you’ve let slip past your lips.
maybe it was because of the first orgasm denial, so this one was so intense. it had your body shaking afterwards, specifically your legs and they went numb.
you were so tired, all you wanted to to was nap. not even caring as sunghoon pulled out, you closed your eyes.
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
when you awoke, you were in a different bed, and heeseung was playing a game at his desk in front of you.
you tried to move your body but couldn’t. not because you were tied down, but because your body was so sore and worn out. the only thing you could do was let noises escape your mouth.
your whine caught heeseung’s attention from the game and he smiled seeing you awake. he turned off the game, coming to the bed beside you as you finally noticed him shirtless, only in pajama pants.
all you could do was stare. “baby, you’ve been sleep for hours. was starting to get worried i wouldn’t get my turn.” he pouted.
hours? you slept for hours? you turned your head to look out the window and saw dusk was falling. what time was it?
you mentally did math—okay so class ended around 11:40, you met jay at his office around 12. how long did that last? a hour? maybe longer? then what about sunghoon? how long did that go?
with the light, it had to be around 5 or 5:30 in the evening. “time?” you croaked out.
heeseung smiled. “it’s almost 5, baby.” he pulled you to the edge of the bed, so your feet hung off the edge, your butt close to it. “i’m glad jay and sunghoon didn’t go too hard. was worried you wouldn’t be able to take me or jake.”
wait, they all were going to fuck you? and what does he mean they didn’t go too hard? you could barely move or speak!
you tried to form words, but your mind turned to mush when heeseung got on his knees and lifted both of your legs so they were over his shoulder. “i can’t wait to finally taste you.” he whispered against your inner thigh.
that’s when you finally realized, you were only in an oversized shirt and some boxers. you didn’t know who dressed you in it. maybe sunghoon or maybe heeseung.
heeseung kissed your cunt through the boxers, his nose burying itself to inhale deeply. he pressed open mouth kisses all along both of your thighs, before his vampire fangs felt like a pinch to your thigh. you jerked, but heeseung held you in place. his teeth scraped against your inner thigh, a moan leaving your lips as you turned your head to the side, and ran your fingers through is hair.
he swiftly took the boxers off your legs and lifted the shirt up above your belly button. no warning, heeseungs tongue swiped between your folds, your legs tightening around his neck as he buried himself between your legs like he was home. he licked, sucked, bit, nibbled, all he could on your cunt, clit and in between.
“fuck you taste too good baby. no wonder jake and sunghoon love to be buried between your legs.” heeseung sighed in pleasure, as he continued his attack. meanwhile, your head was rocking side to side, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, all while holding heeseung in place by your legs and your fist in his hair. the harder you gripped he would bite.
you were nearing your third orgasm of the day, but before you could let heeseung know you were close, he removed his delightful lips and tongue from your cunt, kissing up your stomach, lifting the shirt higher above your breasts, to your neck, still leaving open mouth kisses, licks, and occasionally nipping with his fangs.
you whine at the loss, heeseung smiling against your skin. his lips met yours in a sloppy kiss, you tasting yourself on his lips and tongue.
his lips made their way back to your breasts, his lips wrapping around one nipple, you sensitive to the feeling. another moan left your mouth, but then a louder moan mixed with a yelp came next as without warning, heeseungs fingers entered your cunt.
not one. not two. but three of his long fingers, knuckle deep. your body jerked at the feeling, but it caused heeseung to bite your nipple, your cunt growing wetter every second, and even wetter than before due to the bite.
“so so wet for me.” heeseung smiled then did the same attack on your other breast and nipple. he was loving the loud sounds coming from your wet cunt.
now, one hand was in heeseungs hair, the other on his muscular back as his fingers rocked in and out at a fast and bruising pace. “mhm heeseung.” you moaned out in between taking deep breaths. even without his cock he was filling you up deliciously.
your walls clamped tighter on his fingers, so he kept the speed of his fingers, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit. his tongue licked and sucked your nipple harder, his fangs making another appearance with a pinch.
it sent you over the edge. you came hard. your juices soaked his fingers, leaking onto the edge of the bed, down your thighs, and down his stomach.
you let out the loudest moan you ever had, and your chest heaved up and down as you chased oxygen as you felt so breathless.
you weren’t done. you kept coming and coming for at least a full 2 minutes, your body weakening every second as heeseung continued moving his fingers to your orgasm.
it wasn’t until tears filled your eyes that heeseung removed his fingers and lifted his body off of yours as you shook. you couldn’t imagine taking his cock right now.
“you’ll get my cock another time, baby.” he whispered against your forehead, easing your mind for the time being.
your eyes began to close as exhaustion took over.
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
different bed. you woke up in a different bed and next to a different body. your eyes slowly opened to the darkness both outside and in the room.
your heartbeat sped up to not knowing your surroundings. you felt familiar lips on your neck with a kiss and a familiar aussie accent, “you had us so worried baby.”
you swallowed, trying to find your voice. “sorry.” your voice cracked. “im so sorry.” you apologized. this was your punishment for ignoring them. they were letting you know, you were theirs.
“it’s okay baby. we know you won’t do it again.” jake sighed and began sucking on your neck.
you knew jake had a high sex drive. even before he became a damn vampire. you could only imagine how becoming a vampire upped it. usually when he feasted on you, he could stay for hours eating you out, giving you multiple orgasms in a short time period.
“jakey im tired.” you pouted hoping jake would give you a break.
“don’t worry baby, just lay there, jakey will do all the work.”
and he did. you laid flat on the bed like a damn mannequin. your mind couldn’t even focus on whatever jake was doing. you just remember the cold air hitting your naked skin, his lips, his tongue, his teeth, all over your body.
jake gripping your thighs so tight you were sure handprints would be left behind, along with his nails digging into your skin.
you moaned, whined, and cried. jake was enjoying it so much. he didn’t care if you couldn’t participate back. as long as his lips were somewhere on your body he was happy.
between your legs, your thighs, devouring your cunt. your breast, nibbling your breasts. your lips for sloppy kisses, spit mixing between your mouths.
he moved you onto your stomach so he could eat you out from behind. he positioned your body so your head was buried in the sheets, your hands by your side, your ass in the air.
jake feasted, slobber and spit running down your leg. or was it come? did you orgasm? you were so tired maybe you did and didn’t even know.
jake mumbled, “so wet baby. coming so much just from my tongue.”
your mouth was so dry.
jake landed a slap to your ass, you groaned in reaction, and jake smiled liking that you finally responded to stimuli.
next you felt long slender fingers enter your cunt from behind, this time you bit into the sheets. your cunt genuinely could not handle anything else.
jake pumped his fingers at an ungodly speed, or what felt like it, your screams muffled by the sheets of his bed. your hands found the strength to grip onto the sheets.
“come again for me baby. i know you want to.”
and you did. you don’t know what orgasm number this was. you don’t know how long you orgasmed for. you just know your body could not take anymore.
you cried, shaking your head. “no more jakey, please. i—i am so sorry.” you sniffled.
jake shushed you, rubbing your back trying to get you to take deep breaths through your sobs. “it’s okay baby, no more.” he kissed your back. you collapsed onto the bed.
jake got off the bed, and helped you sit up, bringing a cup to your lips. “drink some water baby.”
you did. he had to help you, get you to slowly drink as if you tried to drink to fast, it would miss your lips and dribble down your chin.
once done, he laid you back down, covering up your naked body.
you cried yourself to sleep being so worn out from your body being wrecked by 4 vampires.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡
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twst-drabbles · 1 day
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Jamil 17
Summary: You and Jamil lay in his bed in his dorm room. While you’re very tired, you’re visibly not bothered by the social implications of being in the bed of another. Jamil, on the other hand, is a little too aware.
(I saw the birthday card and went “eh, why not?” and wrote this.)
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Was this something common in your world? Where, out of nowhere, people will just casually ask their friends if they can sleep with them in their bed? Because that’s what you did to Jamil. You approached him, luckily out of earshot from anyone important, and asked that very question with zero shame.
“Hey Jamil? Mind if I sleep with you in your bed tonight?”
Jamil will admit, it took him a good five seconds for him to register the words. And, he will also admit that he banged his knee against the table he was cleaning. Hit it so hard actually that he curled up into a ball, and practically retreated into his hoodie because why would you ask that?! In broad daylight?!
But you know what’s the worst part about all this? Jamil actually got excited. Giddy even! When the hot flush flooding through his body finally settled, all that was left was this glowing feeling.
At the time, he thought that his charms have finally got to you. That all his efforts to be in your good graces have begun to bear fruit.
And so he said, “You know what? Yes, let’s do that. Setting aside the way you asked that, I think I can find it in my heart to forgive that.”
Past him’s an idiot. For all those times he thought himself above the hormonal college students, turns out Jamil was no better. He supposed it was only a matter of time before he was humbled.
And so here Jamil lays on his side of the bed, dressed in his best pajamas, surrounded by the best sheets and pillows he uses for special occasions, and you laying on your stomach, reading the next chapter for one of your classes.
You came in with a tired wave, bag at hand, and flopped over in his bed. And you’ve been in that pose since.
“So, this was what you meant.” Jamil said. Now that his judgment is clear again after an hour of doing nothing, he really should’ve known you didn’t mean anything special by what you asked. Shame on him for expecting an extra meaning to them.
“Hmm? Oh, was the way I asked weird?” You glanced towards him. Jamil recognizes that exhausted look weighing in your eyes. Perhaps, through the rose-tinted glasses, Jamil didn’t notice. Once again, shame on him. Jamil should suffocate himself with these pillows. “Sorry about that. I just really want one good night of sleep. Just one.”
The urge to hit himself with the pillows lessened. Jamil moved onto his stomach, and copied your position, propping his chin on the pile. “Is there something wrong with your bed?”
You put your phone down. “Weather’s getting hotter and I still don’t have a working air con. It gets so humid at night that I sweat through the night. Can barely get more than three hours of sleep at a time.”
…of course the headmage would neglect to give you something as simple as a stable heating and cooling. Leave it to him to ignore your problems while he goes off doing whatever else. Probably binge watching an old drama that’s not even any good.
“I can’t imagine it’s been easy to deal with. Though, I have to ask, why my bed? You have others that you’re closer to, don’t you?”
Others such as Ace and Deuce, but Jamil didn’t want to say their names. It’s childish but he doesn’t want to see if your eyes light up at their mere mention.
You stretched your spine and settled down. “Yeah I know other people, but–how do I say this–they’ll make it weird.”
Weird? Like how Jamil preparing everything from the lights, to the blankets and even stuffing his drawer with extra wipes just in case wasn’t weird? What?
“Wait, what you mean by weird?” Now Jamil’s worried. Did something happen for you to say that? Did someone do something to you?
You waved off his concern. “Well, see, originally I was just going to ask Rook since he doesn’t mind sharing spaces with anyone, but he’s also very into cuddling and I’m not in the mood for that.”
“That’s true, he’s very open about that kind of thin–wait you cuddled him before?” Since when?
“Cuddled him plenty of times. Rook gives the best hugs without trying to flirt with me. Anyways, Rook wasn’t an option, and neither are Ace and Deuce since there’s no room to spare. There was Leona but after that whole ordeal with Azul, I really don’t want to go back there. And as for asking Azul himself… I feel like he’d charge me for that. So, here I am.”
Oh. Well, when putting it like that, it does make sense doesn’t it? So long as you don’t figure out exactly what went through his head when you asked. He’ll just keep quiet about that.
Jamil sighed into his pillow. “While I want to ask why you didn’t ask Kalim, but I know him too well. A peaceful rest isn’t something he can give, not with the way he sleeps.”
You patted his shoulder and it took everything in Jamil to not jump out of his skin. “You get it. So, yeah, thanks Jamil, for not saying no. Honestly, I was ready to find an empty classroom and just sleeping in there.”
Jamil narrowed his eyes. “Don’t do that. You’ll get in trouble. Just sleep here for the time being. When I have time, I’ll see about pestering Crowley into getting everything in order.”
“You do too much for me, Jamil. Really.”
While things didn’t play out the way he wanted to, the warmth flooding in his chest has not once went away. If anything, from the sight of your smile, it threatened to overflow.
This is nice, that you trust him like this.
“…alright, this is still bothering me. How did you and Rook even start cuddling in the first place?”
And can he add himself onto that list of people you cuddle with?
“Hahaha, yeah that is strange, right? Alright, may as well tell you.”
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iamtired10 · 3 days
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jealous jealous
— fluffy (slight angst) headcanons
pairing - newjeans members x female reader
synopsis - how they would react when they get jealous.
warning - jealousy and kisses (same warnings as before..)
a/n - im not totally sure if this is accurate or fun, but here it is. enjoy reading and bye—
requested by — @somedaydream
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kim minji
minji is always the steady, reliable one.
but when jealousy hits her, that calm exterior fades into something much softer, more vulnerable.
it’s almost cute how she thinks she can hide it, but you know her better than that.
when she sees someone else getting just a little too close to you, her lips press into a thin line, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly.
she doesn’t make a scene—not minji—but the way she sidles up to you, slipping her arm around your waist, says everything she won’t.
suddenly, she’s attached to you like glue, her hand never leaving yours.
and if you thought she was clingy before?
it’s nothing compared to how she holds onto you now, as if letting go would mean you’d slip away.
minji isn’t loud about her jealousy, but the intensity is unmistakable.
she’ll rest her head on your shoulder, her breath warm against your neck as she murmurs, “you’re mine, you know that, right?”
her grip tightens ever so slightly, like she needs the reassurance that you’re not going anywhere.
you’d tease her about it, call her out for being so possessive, but her response is just to snuggle closer, burying her face against you with a soft,
“shut up, you love it.” and yeah, you do.
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pham hanni
when hanni gets jealous, it’s like watching a storm roll in—fast, loud, and impossible to miss.
she’ll try to act indifferent at first, throwing in a casual, “i don’t care,” as her eyes narrow at whoever’s hogging your attention.
but the pout that forms on her lips is unmistakable, her foot tapping impatiently as she waits for them to leave.
the second they’re out of sight, though, she’s right there, tugging at your sleeve with a mix of frustration and vulnerability.
she’ll fold her arms, puffing out her cheeks in the most adorable way, and mutter, “you’re not allowed to let anyone else make you laugh like that.”
you try to calm her down, but she’s already climbing onto your lap, wrapping her arms around your neck with a stubborn grin. “i’m the only one who gets to do that. got it?”
but the best part?
when she tries to act all tough but fails miserably.
she’ll poke at your cheek, trying to act mad, but the second you kiss her nose or ruffle her hair, she’s all giggles and soft smiles again, her walls crumbling in an instant.
hanni can’t stay mad for long—especially not when you pull her close and tell her she’s your favorite.
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danielle marsh
danielle is usually the most carefree, bubbly person you know. jealousy?
it doesn’t even seem like it’s in her vocabulary.
but when it sneaks up on her, it’s a quiet, almost shy thing.
she won’t say anything at first, but you’ll notice how she pulls back ever so slightly, her usual easy smiles faltering. danielle is all sunshine, but when she’s feeling insecure, the clouds start to roll in.
she won’t ask outright, won’t accuse you of anything, but you can see the way her gaze lingers on you, uncertainty flickering in her eyes.
the laughter isn’t as bright, her touches not as bold.
instead, she becomes quiet, distant, like she’s afraid she might lose you without even realizing it.
and the worst part?
she’ll try to hide it, not wanting to burden you with her feelings.
but once you notice, once you pull her aside and ask her what’s wrong, she’ll melt.
her arms will wrap around you in the tightest hug, her face buried in your chest as she mumbles, “i just... don’t want to lose you.”
you’ll reassure her, over and over, until that bright smile returns, her whole body leaning into yours like she can finally breathe again.
danielle doesn’t get jealous often, but when she does, she needs to know you’re hers, and only hers.
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kang haerin
haerin is the silent type, always observing, always thinking.
when she gets jealous, you almost wouldn’t know—almost.
she doesn’t make a scene, doesn’t throw tantrums or pout.
instead, she just watches, her eyes sharp as she quietly takes in every interaction you have with someone else.
her expression remains neutral, but there’s a tension in the way she moves, like a panther ready to pounce.
she’ll slip closer to you, her fingers brushing against yours in a way that’s so subtle, yet so possessive.
haerin doesn’t need words to show you how she’s feeling—her presence is enough.
she stands just a little too close, her gaze never leaving you, as if she’s reminding you, without saying a word, that you belong to her.
later, when you’re alone, she’ll sit beside you, her hand resting lightly on your leg, her voice low as she finally speaks. “you’re not interested in anyone else, right?”
it’s not even a real question—she knows the answer.
but hearing you say it makes something soften in her eyes, the tension melting away as she leans into you, her head resting on your shoulder.
haerin doesn’t need to make a big fuss, but when she’s jealous, she’ll make sure you never forget where your heart belongs.
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lee hyein
hyein is the youngest, but when she gets jealous, she acts like she’s years older, her voice sharp and demanding as she pulls you aside.
“who was that?” she’ll ask, her eyebrows raised, trying to act all serious and mature.
but you can see right through her.
she’s still the playful, dramatic baby you know and love, even when she’s pretending to be tough.
she’ll follow you around, refusing to let anyone else get too close, her hand firmly in yours as she shoots glares at anyone who dares even glance in your direction.
“you’re mine, no sharing,” she’ll declare, her voice full of mock authority, but the way she clings to you like a kid with their favorite toy betrays her real feelings.
and when you finally laugh and call her out for being so possessive, she’ll just huff, crossing her arms as she pouts.
“i don’t care, you’re not allowed to make anyone else smile like that.”
but underneath all her dramatics, she’s still soft, still the sweet hyein you know.
she’ll eventually lean her head on your shoulder, her voice a little quieter, a little softer.
“i just like you too much, okay?”
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a/n - working overtime for y'all :(
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camilledlc · 1 day
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Because I love relating songs to characters and analysing why it works so well, I just have to rant about how So Long, London by Taylor Swift is Vanessa's perspective of her break up with Wade. This one is reaaaally long, so be ready for that if you still chose to read this. It is 4,5k of a weird analyse no one asked for. You have been warned :
I think the main reason why Vanessa (that I will from now call Ness) ended things with Wade was because of how bad he was doing. She tried to be there for him, but there's only so much you can do for someone who doesn't want to be helped. So really, it is quite evident as to how this song can be related to their story. I'll go in order of the lyrics, and really dive in with the meaning of the song. I'll write this as if Ness wrote the song herself, kinda. But despite me relating it to Ness, it will also kind of be a study of the song in itself, if anyone is interested in that.
The opening line "I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist" shows two main things that to me will be crucial to understand exactly how it all went down and Ness' state of mind. The two central element being obviously the fairy lights and the mist. The mist represents this gloom, this sadness that had surrounded Wade, and therefore herself. He was extremely depressed because of the Avengers' rejection, and didn't seem to be able to pick himself back up. Everything for him became a mist, but it also made everything for Ness turn into a mist. Always being around a deeply person, to whom you're entirely devoted, it will take a huge tole on you. Their sadness become yours, etc. And by that point, you may think that there was no reason for her to stay, but no. That's why the fairy lights are here. The fairy lights doesn't represent the exit, the ending of this relationship that would finally brought her peace. This early on in the song, it wouldn't make sense. The author is still too deep into this relationship. The fairy lights are probably the reason why they are still together by that point, despite all the pain that it's causing Ness. Because while the relationship can generally be associated to a mist, there are moments of happiness, of "fairy lights through the the mist". Not all moments are bad, and they are occasions where Ness can see the old Wade, and what they used to have. And she wants to fight for that. Because deep down, they love each other in ways that can't be matched, and they loved each other for so long.
And so, this leads us to the next lyrics : "I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift / Pulling him tighter each time he was drifting away". Because Ness can see that not everything is bad in her relationship, that there are still pieces of what they used to be left to fight for, she tries. She tries to "[keep] calm", to be the rock Wade is in desperate need of. For Wade, it feels like his world is falling apart, as he can't seem to find a purpose for his life, a way to matter. He falls more and more into depression, unable to pull himself back up. The only thing stopping him from "drifting away" is Ness. But on the other hand, she can't keep carrying them both on her shoulders. It "weights" on her, and understandably so. She wants to be there for Wade, and she tries as much as she can to save him. But maybe it's a responsibility that's too heavy for her, and so, the come the next lyrics.
"My spine split from carrying us up the hill / Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill". Those are pretty easy to understand and very explicit. The weight of Wade's sadness is becoming too much for us, and she is breaking under it. By being the only one trying to lift them up, she's going to end up even more broken than Wade. I of course think that "wet" references sadness in general. Sadness is often paired with deep blues, cold colours and a general theme of water--because of tears. With the "mist" being also a metaphor for this sadness, it isn't surprising. But this means that this sadness that Wade carried, this "mist", finally got to her. The "mist" finally reached her and made her "wet", meaning that his sadness started to become her sadness. She "caught the chill", she started to feel depressed too, because always being around someone depressed--especially if you're the only one lifting them up--makes you depressed too.
"I stopped trying to make him laugh / Stopped trying to drill the safe". Another easily-understandable set of lyrics, yet devastating in the context of Deadpool. We know a handful thing about him and how he is generally perceived by others, and one of his main traits is that he's funny. He is always one to laugh, or crack a joke, the one that makes you happier when things are bad. He is the one supposed to make other laughs, but with how bad he feels, the roles are reversed, and Ness has to try and try and try to make him happier, to "make him laugh". It must have been really heart-breaking to see the dynamics in their relationship change this much, see a person she knew like the back of her hand becoming a ghost of who they used to be. And eventually, he started to close up too much to her. He would be 'somewhere else, not fully there'. He wouldn't let her in, tell her what he was truly feeling--despite the fact that she could sense how bad he was doing. He became a "safe", a total stranger that she couldn't figure out, until she eventually had to give up. This is even more depressing when you know that Wade has had tendencies to lie to protect himself and push people away, which he could've also done here with Ness.
All of this leads her to start being angry, and confused, and wanting answers from him. Not the Wade she saw before leaving him, but her Wade, from before all this. She wants to understand : "Thinkin, how much sad did you think I had / Did you think I had in me?". I see this as both a rhetorical question, telling him that she can't handle all of his sadness and that she has to leave him behind at some point. That she doesn't have this much sadness in her to support him. But I also believe it has some genuine aspects of an earnest question, always waiting for an answer. Yet, she will repeat this multiple times, probably alluding to the fact that she doesn't have any. Because Wade doesn't have an answer to that either. She wants to know just how far Wade was willing to let himself fall down while thinking that Ness would stay, that she would pick him up. In a way, I think she felt betrayed and hurt by the way he was treating her, waiting for her to be there for him while he purposefully let himself drown in his own misery. So, eventually, she's angry and demands answer, demands an explanation to all of this, because this isn't the Wade she fell in love with.
And that's why it's so tragic : "Oh, the tragedy... / So Long, London". In this, we see just how heart-breaking their entire story is. It wasn't supposed to end this way, yet at that point in time, she saw no other issues. She didn't want to leave him, but she had to. It was tragic because it couldn't have been avoided, yet she felt as if it wasn't fair, and it wasn't meant to be this way. She can only constate that their ending is tragic, and she has to accept it despite the evident pain and sorrow (the punctuation). And so, she leaves. All of this, only could lead to that conclusion. She went through all stages, from loving him, to trying to support him, to giving up on helping him, to being angry at him, to giving up on them altogether now. She isn't fully saying goodbye, as she still feels as if their lives are too intertwined for them to not see each other again eventually. They both love each other too damn much to never do so, to truly end things here. By that point, she accepts that she must leave, and that their story ends, but she knows the love hasn't completely disappeared yet.
But when she says "You'll find someone...", she does admit that while love may persist, the relationship is over for good. By that point, she only includes him in the finding someone part. I think it's because she herself hasn't moved on from him, and she isn't sure by that point that she can. They know they can't date anymore, but she doesn't think that she'll fall in love as hard as she did with Wade with anyone else. But for him, she wants him to move on and find someone who will be able to handle Wade. In a way, she may feel guilty for leaving, despite knowing that it was killing her on the inside to stay. So she wishes for Wade to find someone who, unlike her, will be able to help Wade, or at least carry his burden with him without splitting under the weight.
I feel that the next part is a bit trickier, so if my ramble doesn't make sense, feel free to ignore it! But otherwise, I think that the lyrics "I didn't opt in to be your odd man out / I founded the club she's heard great things about" are definitely laced with bitterness. To me, it really represents that moment of Wade getting better, and how Ness will view herself into that. One the one hand, she knows she isn't entitled to anything regarding Wade anymore because she chose to leave, but on the other hand, she feels as if she didn't have a choice to leave. Everything was so awful that she had to leave for her own sake, so she didn't opt out of his life. She didn't want to be his friend, but she couldn't be anything else. Yet, everyone--including Wade--will make her feel like it was her decision. Even though they respect it, she feels that they don't understand that it wasn't truly her decision, and that under other circumstances, she would've never left Wade. If it wasn't for her survival, she would still be with him. But now, she is purposefully being left out of everything regarding Wade and all of his accomplishments. People will say that it's great to see him better again, to see him happier, and a true hero that wants to matter, etc. And yes, he did that on his own, but it does feel to her as if it invalidates everything she went through. She helped him for so long, and eventually had to give up. So he got better on his own and is praised for it, but what about all of her efforts? Don't they count in his recovery? Isn't her support the foundation of the person he is today? She is one of the reason Wade found his spark back, yet because she left before he did, she can never say as much. And it must feel bitter to see how much time and energy and love you lost trying to help someone who got better after you left them, after you've had enough.
Which is why we have "I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath". Because, yes, she may have been the one who left Wade first officially, but Wade had left her way before that. When letting himself become a shadow of who he once was, he left Ness to fend on her own, the only one keeping their love, their home alive. The "house by the Heath" represents this home that they made for themselves, it was their lives, their futures. But Wade abandoned that mentally. Yet, it falls on Ness when she decides to abandon it physically. In this whole verse, she is feeling bitter, and angry, and regretful. She left everything behind, because Wade felt like her everything. But she wasn't the first one to do so, and Wade had actually done it before. She had in the past tried to support him when he had cancer, only for him to leave her to bear this alone. So, actually, she was the only one trying actively not to leave, not to let this relationship die.
"I stopped CPR, after all it's no use / The spirit was gone, we would never come to". It implies that for a long time, she tried to maintain their relationship alive, but it was for nothing. "The spirit" of their love had left when Wade did too, when he metaphorically left the relationship. It couldn't be brought back, and even if they had tried, it would've been too late. Their relationship was already too damaged to be salvaged. There is no use to perform CPR on a dead body.
The next lyric is heavily marked by the voice of the singer, showing the anger and resentment growing : "And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free". For this one, I think it's crucial we remember the context of both who they are in general. Ness is a woman in her mid-thirties/forties, meanwhile, Wade is an immortal guy who can't age nor die. Wade still has the whole eternity in front of him to do whatever he wants, to be someone great. But Ness spent most of her life with him, and now she's getting older. No matter who she ends up with it will be a very recent and new relationship, and it will take time to grow, and so she may have trouble later having the family she'd wanted. For her, it may feels like as if she's spent so many years with Wade, only to be back at square one. Except that for him, he can take the eternity to move up a few square, but her, she doesn't have that time. She doesn't have eternal "youth", which is why she may be so pissed, both at herself and at Wade. It can be very easy to start resenting someone when you feel like you have wasted so much time on them, for nothing to come out of it eventually. And it would be better if Wade was in the same boat as her, because then they would both have wasted time and it would be no one's fault. But she is alone in this, she is the one who gave her "youth for free".
The "For so long, London / Stitches undone / Two graves, one gun" only reinforce this idea. She gave her youth "for so long" and now she's feeling resentful. In a way, it feels like her decision killed them both. She knows the negative impact their breakup had on Wade, of course. But here, she also acknowledge just how much it affected her too. With "one gun", aka her decision to leave, she killed the both of them ("two graves"). Kind of in a "you had to kill me but it killed you just the same kind of way". And now, the relationship that she carefully spent time stitching up each time it split is now completely broken, the "stitches undone".
And so, she accepts that she has to move on : "I'll find someone". She knows how bad her decision also affected her, and how hard it will be to get back everything she lost to this relationship. But she can't stay down, and she has to find a way to move forward somehow. And she knows that it's possible, that eventually, she'll find someone else, she'll fall in love again and that life goes on. It's a way for her to try and find peace, to definitely put her relationship with Wade past her. And by the beginning of Deadpool and Wolverine, she believes that she has found that someone, she found Dermot. Someone good, who is different yet someone she is really happy with. She can fully move on, and so wants to try and befriend Wade, as a way to really put this all behind. Because despite knowing they can't ever get back together, she still has a lot of love for him--whether it's romantic or now platonic, she'll always love him, as he is one of the most important person for her. But it's clear that while she's almost moved on completely from him, he hasn't done the same. And because of the way he still holds out hope for them to be together again, she feels as though he thinks she abandoned him all over again.
So in a way, the upcoming bridge is her way of defending herself. "And you say I abandoned the ship / But I was going down with it" is literally her reiterating that she wasn't the one who left first, she was actually holding onto that relationship even more than Wade was, even though it was killing her, "My white knuckle dying grip". The singer's voice is by then really angry, and I think Ness is too by now. It feels unjust to be blamed for leaving a relationship. I don't think they are blaming her consciously, because Wade would never want to make her feel bad about it. But the sole fact that he's still holding out hope that they work out put the blame on her for the fact that it isn't working out. In a way, him still wanting her and not being able to move on makes her even now the responsible for Wade's misery, which is unfair because she already had to bear it and suffer from it for long enough in their relationship.
The next lyrics will all be analysed as a whole, so sorry for that : "Holding tight to your quiet resentment and / My friends said it isn't right to be scared / Everyday of a love affair / Every breath feels like rarest air / When you're not sure if he wants to be there". This may be a bit triggering, se be careful, but I think that while the original song may be talking about not wanting to be there in a relationship, from Ness' point of view, it will be more like there at all in this life. Wade is canonically a character that has a severe mental instability, a lot of traumas and issues, and he is one of the character who tried to off himself the most--even before having a regenerating factor. He clearly has always struggled with his mental health, and it was even worse during his depression. So when Ness feels scared that because she's "not sure if he wants to be there", she's talking about being scared that Wade would take the opportunity to off himself if he could die. It is extremely scary to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't wish to live anymore, when you never know if they are faking their smiles, planning on leaving it all behind, if you're not sure you'll wake up and they'll still be there. Even while knowing he can't die, it is still a terrifying thought. So now, their entire relationship, their "love affair" is completely overtook by this fear that it will all end at any moment, and also by this need to take every good thing in because they may not last, or there won't ever be any other good thing afterwards. Every moment of true joy "feels like rarest air". Because now, everything in her mind revolves around Wade's sadness, his "quiet resentment" of feeling like he doesn't matter, of not finding his purpose in this world.
But there's only so much that one person can take, and so, eventually, she is back to asking "So how much sad did you think I had / Did you think I had in me? / How much tragedy?". This times, it really feels as though she exposed previously during the bridge every arguments in her favour as to why she had to leave, and now she's showing him all of those arguments and telling him 'see?', and in the words of the song "Just how low did you think I'd go? Before I'd self-implode / Before I'd have to go be free". And those two last sentences summarize pretty much everything : she was self-imploding, so she had to leave and be free. This relationship, despite still having some good moments that guilted her into staying, was more like a prison to her by that point. In this bridge, she seems finale with her explanation, and feels a certain form of validation of her decision. By then, she is certain she made the right choice, and she is trying to show others, and especially Wade, that she had to move on and that still holding hope for a relationship together was just invalidating everything she went through (even if Wade isn't necessarily wanting that, or even realizing she might feel that way. He can't help but love her, but respects her decision nonetheless. There is no bad guy here, just a very complicated situation).
The very end of the song is definitely right by the end of the events of Deadpool and Wolverine. Wade tells her explicitly that he still loves her, still wants her, wants them. But when he tells her he still loves her, all she can think of is : "You swore that you loved me but where were the clues? / I died on the altar waiting for the proof / You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days". She may know, realistically, that Wade really did love and still do, but during the end of their relationship, she couldn't feel it. Everything in Wade's life was now centred around his sadness, which is here represented by the "gods of [your] bluest days". Their relationship was too much, and so he "sacrificed" it, because in his mind, there was no room for anything other than his depression. Which is valid and comprehensible, but extremely hard to live for Ness. She was desperately waiting for him to show her that he cared for her, that he still loved her, that he was still with her, like shown in the flashback when Cassandra Nova peered through Wade's mind. She asked him directly for proof of his love, and she eventually had to leave the "altar" because she was dying there otherwise. Wade was feeling so awful that he couldn't remind Ness just how much he loved her, so even now, she can't accept that he still does.
Besides, we know she has supposedly moved on, as she is happy with her new boyfriend Dermot : "And I'm just getting color back into my face". After everything, she eventually felt like a lesser version of herself, beaten up by this tragic relationship. Wade's constant sadness got to her. But now, it's been a while, and she had time to move on, to find her own new happiness. It might be different colours than when she was with Wade, but she has colours nonetheless. She is happier out of the relationship. Yet, she can't help but be mad : "I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place / For so long, London". It is quite obvious that despite being happy now, she had also been happy with Wade before all this. There had been so long where she thought she was gonna marry Wade, found a family together, that he was her soulmate. She knows it's for the better, but there's also something so frustrating about having to leave something that brought you joy for so long because now it has soured. The lyrics "Had a good run / A moment of warm sun" reminds that. Before Wade got depressed, there relationship was truly and utterly an happy relationship. There was so much good in it, and for a long time, it seemed like it would last. But it didn't.
"But I'm not the one / So long, London". She is here fully letting Wade go, and letting their romance go. In admitting that she isn't the one for Wade, she is admitting that they weren't soulmates who were meant to be, and that maybe it's better this way. She is admitting that even the earlier stage of their relationship was extremely good and happy, it was not enough. She isn't the one for him because she could love him at his best, but couldn't at his worst. And there is no shame in that, she knows now that some people aren't meant to be, despite being perfect for each other in every other aspects. For example, when she sees Logan, she understands that he can handle Wade at his worst, that he can lift him up. At the same time, it's a bit bitter because she wished she could've been the one, but she is also really grateful to be out of this relationship, and yet knowing that Wade's got someone else that will be there for him. She can leave peacefully knowing that.
Then, we have another repetition of "Stitches undone" which symbolize definitely the end of relationship, with nothing holding it together anymore, and "Two graves, one gun". Personally, I always heard something else and liked what I heard more, which is "Two graves, one gone". Here, it would be a representation of how they felt during Wade's depression. He was so sad that he was almost dead, which killed her on the inside too. They were "two graves". But some graves aren't meant to be side by side. She left the graveyard, found happiness again somewhere else. She brought herself back to life by leaving. Now, there is one grave that is "gone". But by using the last sentence "You'll find someone...", she is in a way giving him permission to move on from her as well, to leave the graveyard that was their relationship. She hopes for him that he'll find someone who will bring him back to life to, and she even thinks that Wade found that person already, found that in Logan. Now that she let go, she's telling Wade to do the same. To let her go.
The three different instances of "you'll find someone / i'll find someone / you'll find someone" really represents the progression of the breakup and the healing from it. At first, it's a way to convince herself that she has to leave, that she isn't made to handle this. By then, none of them have moved on. Then, it's her finding her own way of happiness, admitting that she's moving on. And the last one is her telling Wade to move on too. By the end of the song, their relationship has definitely ended, it's over for good.
"So long, London".
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jsmelodies · 1 day
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Cassian thought it was supposed to be simple. 
Find the witch in the woods.
Convince said witch to give him Ataraxia.
Rescue the princess from the dragon guarding her tower, with said sword, from said witch.
If only the damned witch stopped getting in his way.
Written for @nessianweek Day 5: Behind Closed Doors
Because nothing says behind closed doors like getting to know a witch in the middle of the woods with no one around.
Read here on ao3
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Cassian had a long time to think on the ride back to the palace. Once he cleared the thicket of the forest, he urged Ruby to go faster, settling into an easy canter for the remainder of the journey.
The sun was just beginning to hit the tips of the castle spires when he made it to the city streets. The children paused in their playing in the streets to watch him ride through the gates.
Ruby let out a snort as he slowed them down to a walk, and he flashed his typical easygoing grin to the children. For the first time, though, that smile felt ingenuine. 
Women gave him shy smiles as he rode by, nothing like the stern look of that witch in the forest. He hadn’t even gotten her name.
You want me to find you worthy? I don’t.
Was all of this just a lie? All of the years hoping he could be something better—something greater. What if he’d just deluded himself? What if he wasn’t worthy at all?
No one paid him any mind as he rode in. He wasn’t beat up like Kallon was, so there was nothing interesting to see. Cassian approached, sliding off of Ruby with one smooth movement.
Rhys and Azriel were already done for the day, placing their dulled practice blades back on the rack and leaning against the stone of the palace wall.
“I take it you didn’t have much luck,” Az said, noticing his frustration, and the lack of a princess on his arm.
Cassian considered not telling them the truth. He considered saying that he searched the woods all day without a single trace. But, he sighed and said, “I found her.”
Rhys frowned. “What happened? Can you remember?” he asked.
“Yeah, I remember everything. I messed up and insulted her. She struck a nerve, so I…”
Azriel watched him with an arched eyebrow. “You what?”
Cassian winced, knowing how what he was about to say would sound. “I may have implied that she didn’t have a soul.” 
Azriel let out a long, long breath. “Yeah. Alright, so you fucked up pretty badly.”
Cassian slid his gaze to Rhys, who had a singular eyebrow lifted.
“How important is this to you?” Rhys asked, his voice contemplative.
“I need to make it right.”
“Yeah, if there’s any chance of you getting that sword-”
“No,” Cassian said, cutting him off. “Regardless of that. I need to make it right.”
An honorable man wouldn’t have said what he did. And if by some chance he did, then that man would apologize. Rhys’ mother ingrained that lesson into him when he was just a boy.
He hadn’t meant what he said. It was all spoken out of anger, but it wasn’t okay. 
Cassian knew what he had to do.
***
He set out again the next morning. The witch wouldn’t try to kill him, he didn’t think. At least, not after he apologized. And he would apologize.
The ride through the forest was short, and his heart beat quickly in his chest for the entirety. 
He remembered the route back to her cottage with perfect clarity. She must not have spelled him, or whatever it was she did to Kallon, because he was able to follow the same path to her cottage, that thread pulling him along faintly.
It was almost like she was waiting to see what he would do.
He took a deep breath as he reached the edge of the line of trees, attempting to clear his head before he faced her again.
His eyes fluttered shut for just a moment. He could do this.
“I’ve asked you to leave. I won’t do it again.”
Cassian was dragged out of his daze by the words, and he opened his mouth, prepared to defend his presence, when he realized they weren’t directed at him at all.
Another man stood in the clearing, hulking and in full metal armor, like he expected a fight. Unfortunately, Cassian recognized that armor. Tomas Mandray. He stood with his sword raised, ready to attack.
The witch was in her doorway, clad in the cloak from yesterday, gripping it firmly around her body. As if that cloak was her own form of armor.
The woman didn’t deserve this. It didn’t matter what Cassian’s opinions were, or anyone else’s for that matter. She deserved to exist without fear of being harmed or killed.
As a knight to the kingdom, he would ensure she could.
“Tomas. That’s enough,” Cassian said, making the last few steps into the clearing.
“What are you doing here?” Tomas asked, sneering. 
They’d never gotten along, only ever exchanging stiff pleasantries before both going on their way. He had a feeling this conversation would not even come close to being that.
“The same as you, I imagine,” Cassian said, getting off his horse. “I’m here for the sword.”
A lie. Well, partly. 
“Then you understand the witch needs to die,” Tomas said. “They’re a blight on our kingdom, and need to be killed.”
The look on Tomas’ face, however, implied that wasn’t where his intentions ended. Cassian felt the rage bubbling under his skin, that if he hadn’t shown up, the witch might have been forced to deal with that.
“You don’t need to kill her,” Cassian said. “She’s just minding her own business. Leave her be.”
“Whatever,” Tomas said, turning away from Cassian, raising his sword once more.
The witch retreated back inside a step, but it was enough for Cassian to see that she was well and truly terrified.
Before he knew it, he’d moved and his sword was at Tomas’ throat. He would kill him, one of his fellow knights, if it came down to it.
“I won’t say it again,” Cassian said with a low voice. “Leave her alone. Take one more step towards that door, Tomas, and I’ll make you wish you hadn’t.”
The other knight’s eyes narrowed. “Whose fucking side are you on?”
“There are no sides. I just have basic human decency.”
It turned out his intervention was unnecessary, however, because the next moment Bryaxis had jumped in between Tomas and Cassian, hissing up a storm.
Tomas took a single step back, raising an amused eyebrow. “What’s her stupid cat going to do?” he muttered to himself, aiming to kick him aside with his foot.
Somehow, Cassian knew before it happened that it had been the wrong thing to say. Bryaxis shifted into a snarling beast with long, sharp claws that curled into the ground. In a moment, his teeth were as long as Cassian’s forearm and he stalked towards Tomas, black fur bristling on his neck and back.
Bryaxis stood almost three times taller than the man, and he looked ready to tear Tomas’ head clean off of his body.
“Oh, fuck,” Tomas said.
He held his sword out with shaking hands, prepared to fight. At least, until Bryaxis roared in his face.
Then the coward ran. He dashed back towards his horse tied to the edge of the clearing, Bryaxis snapping at his heels for the first few steps.
His horse’s eyes were milky white with fear, and she reared, yanking Tomas so hard that Cassian thought his arm might be pulled out of his socket.
Tomas yanked the horse back down. “You stupid beast!” he seethed, climbing up onto her back and digging his heels into her side until she uneasily started running through the trees.
Cassian would have let out a sigh of relief, if getting rid of Tomas was the only challenge he faced. But Bryaxis turned, still in his beast form, and eyed Cassian and the sword still at attention in his hand.
Don’t mind Bryaxis. He doesn’t bite, unless you do first.
Praying that the witch had told him the truth yesterday, he dropped it, raising his arms placatingly. “I, uh, I don’t want a fight,” he said. 
Bryaxis prowled closer, his breath smelling like a rotten carcass. When was the last time the woman cleaned his teeth? Did he even allow her to clean his teeth? 
Bryaxis huffed in Cassian’s face, and heat prickled at his ears. But then Bryaxis stepped back and sat back on his haunches, letting out a small groan. Within a few seconds he shifted back into a cat, weaving through Cassian’s legs and purring once more.
It didn’t set him at ease. His heart still hammered in his chest. Now he knew what had left Kallon in such a state only a few days ago.
It was safe to say that he had no intention of getting on Bryaxis’ bad side anytime soon.
“So,” he said. “Not a cat.”
The witch hummed anxiously, her eyes on the treeline. He took a deep breath as his heart settled, then he dared to approach her in the doorway.
“Will he remember?” Cassian asked, as she watched Tomas disappear.
“No,” she said, her voice distant. “He’ll forget almost everything as soon as he’s about a mile out.”
“Bryaxis took a long time to step in,” he commented. It was a question, of sorts, of why the witch had the cat wait.
She merely sighed. “I knew him once. I wanted to see if he’d changed. Apparently, he hasn’t.”
If it was even possible, Cassian hated Tomas even more—for crimes that he wasn’t entirely sure that he’d committed yet. Something about this woman had him coming to her defense, even though he was the last person who should.
He’d insulted her, and she probably wanted nothing to do with him. Even still, he wasn’t going to leave her with the likes of Tomas, Bryaxis or no.
She was rattled, that much was clear. As much as the rest of her was an unrelenting fortress, it was her eyes that gave her away—wide as they continued to watch the spot that Tomas disappeared through, not an ounce of silver anger to be found.
He needed to get her mind off it, off him.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he said softly, laying a hand on her wrist. “Let’s go inside. He’s not coming back.”
It was instant, the way everything shifted. That nervousness shifted to indignation. Fear to bitterness. 
Cassian loved storms. As a boy he’d stay up listening to them rattling the windows, streaks of lightning spreading across the sky. Something about them soothed him while scaring others, and he felt safe listening to the long rolls of thunder.
And she was one, staring him down with pure electricity. She could strike him down with one single blow if she wanted.
Silver returned. There she was.
“I don’t recall extending you an invitation.” Yesterday, her words hadn’t been so distant. Short and snarky, yes, but there had been an undertone of sly amusement before he’d well and truly messed everything up. “I thought I told you to leave yesterday.”
“You did.” 
“Then why are you here?” she asked.
Cassian still didn’t know exactly what he’d say once he got here, and convinced her to listen to him. But he needed to say something.
He thought back to Tomas leaving, and the comment she made when he did.
“You said you wanted to see if Tomas had changed,” Cassian began. “So? Do you think a man can change?”
“What are you getting at, Sir Cassian?”
“It’s just Cassian.”
She let out a small huff, and asked again, “What do you want, Cassian?”
“I came to apologize,” he said. He could feel her watching, studying him with those pale blue eyes that he wanted more than a mere glimpse of. “How I spoke to you was out of line, and I’m ashamed of it. I’m sorry.”
“Anything else?” she asked. “You came all the way out here just to apologize?”
“Nothing else,” he said. “I am truly sorry.”
Her lips set into a line as she thought. The seconds ticked by, and he had the suspicion that she would tell him to leave again. Would once again call him unworthy.
But then, she did the last thing he expected. The set of her shoulders relaxed, and she gave him the tiniest dip of her chin in acceptance.
“I respect a man who can admit his mistakes.” 
She took in a breath, as if she were considering saying something else, but then she let it go. “Come inside. You’re helping me today.”
And that was that. Cassian spent the rest of the morning doing as the witch instructed, chopping and scraping and grounding until his hands were sore. He found that he didn’t mind, that it was nice to put his sword down for a little while. 
While they were cleaning up, Cassian couldn’t help but wonder. He asked the question before he could think better of it.
“What does this matter to you?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Why do you care who the princess marries?”
“You’re moving into dangerous territory,” she said. “Remember what happened yesterday?”
“Answer it anyway,” he said, “You know her, don’t you?”
“This is how you wish to win me over?”
“Not really, I was just curious.”
For a while, he didn’t think she’d answer. 
She handed him some mushrooms from the other side of the clearing, asking if he knew how to cook. He sighed and brought down a pan from the rack he ran into the day before, assuming the conversation was over.
The mushrooms and a few other vegetables spit and popped in the iron pan, and the witch was happy to watch as he cooked for both of them.
While his back was turned, she said, “I do know her. We grew up together.”
That hadn’t been what he was expecting her to say. He didn’t know why he imagined her growing up solely in these woods, outcast from society. Ignorance, maybe.
“You grew up in the castle?”
“You could say that.”
The answer roused a much longer list of questions, ones he didn’t think she’d be willing to answer.
Who are you, that you know the princess so closely? Why distance yourself out here? Just…why?
“Who are you?” he asked. He moved the now finished vegetables to the side, approaching her at the table. 
“No one you would know,” she said.
She loved to evade his questions, he realized. Or, possibly, there was something about opening up to him that absolutely terrified her.
“Can I look at your face?” he asked.
She didn’t seem to like the idea of that, letting out a huff and leaning back in her chair. “I think you’ve seen enough, haven’t you?”
“I don’t think I have,” he said. 
She didn’t make a sound. 
“If you’re no one that I know, it shouldn’t matter, right?”
She didn’t outright deny him. Instead, she seemed to ponder over what he said, and she stood and took hesitant steps forward until she was right in front of him.
“You can’t tell any of the others what you see,” she insisted.
He felt it in the air, how vulnerable she was allowing herself to be. He’d make sure he never gave her a reason to regret it.
“I won’t. I swear it, on my honor.”
She inhaled sharply, then gave him the slightest nod in permission.
He took the edges of her hood in his hands. Even before he brought it down, he could almost see what was underneath. But when it was down fully…
He couldn’t say a word. Not when the angles of her face were so striking, when her beauty was so absolutely devastating that Cassian thought he might crumble.
Just as he suspected, perfect, golden brown hair framed her face, and her eyes were the most enchanting shade of blue-gray. She was young, perhaps a year or two less than his twenty four. And as embarrassing as it was to admit, Cassian had a purely male reaction.
He simply couldn’t speak, unless the word was one syllable and absolutely meaningless. So he didn’t.
This woman would be his undoing. He couldn’t come back again, because who knew what strings they would pull if he did. Whose bed they might end up in, what bridges they couldn’t uncross.
No. It had to end today. As much as he hated it, it had to end today. The witch had her life, and he had his. 
He resisted the urge to reach for her, instead barely managing to keep the fabric of her cloak between his fingers.
“See? Nothing to look at,” she said, being the first to break away.
Cassian disagreed.
***
In the late afternoon he found her on the edge of the fenceline, a book in her hand while making a practiced motion with her arm.
She was speaking softly, repeating the same phrase over and over, and he could see the soft glimmer of her magic taking hold on the perimeter of the property.
Her magic—he didn’t have words to describe it. It held a silver shimmer, and when it concentrated it almost looked like silver fire.
She was warding, he realized. He didn’t know why he expected something else.
“You have defensive magic,” he said.
She paused in her incantation, and the silver fire faded in small wisps. “That surprises you?”
“If I’m speaking honestly, yes,” he said. “Witches don’t have the best reputation.”
Thankfully, she didn’t get upset by it. She merely asked him another question.
“Yet you came to my aid. Why?”
Her eyes met his, the setting sun making her hair look like molten gold. “Because I don’t know the whole story.” 
He added, “And I want to know it.”
She stood there like a queen, watching him with proud eyes and a stance that he’d seen time and time again with his fellow warriors.
He had to admit, she was striking. He’d seen a lot of beautiful women, but she surpassed mere beauty. She was everything strong and fierce and commanding, and he couldn’t for the life of him explain why he was so drawn to it.
She must have seen something true in his face, because her next words were, “Come.” 
Cassian made his way over until he was standing at her side. He stood close enough so that he could see the drawings in the book over her shoulder. Now that he was next to her, now that she let him closer, her voice turned softer. Not by much, but enough that he could tell that she was trying to connect with him in her own way, by sharing something precious to her.
“So little of what I do revolves around curses and jinxes. Most of what I do is this, and healing,” she explained.
“Do you ever perform those?” he asked.
“Would it make you think differently if I said yes?”
“I think it depends.”
She returned her attention to the book, not looking at him as she said, “I only sell those if it’s necessary.”
Cassian didn’t know what to do with that. All he had were the stories—of good men being cursed with misfortune, with no discernible cure in sight.
She went silent next to him, as if she was expecting the worst. 
Maybe she had a good reason. Maybe she deserved the benefit of the doubt. He’d assumed poorly yesterday, and that had blown up in his face, making him say things he regretted.
Today was a new day. He could choose not to believe the worst in her, and maybe she might do the same.
So he said, “Will you show me what you’re doing?”
The witch let out a soft breath, as if his lack of condemnation meant something to her. She held up the book a little closer so he could see.
“I need to draw the rune with my magic, and say the incantation,” she explained. “The drawings here are for practice. They don’t do anything.”
He looked over her shoulder, having to stop himself from reaching over and tracing her immaculate drawings with his finger.
As he pressed up against her, he resisted the urge to settle his hand on her waist. That would be entirely inappropriate. Her breath hitched as his chest brushed against her, a sound so lovely that it was pure music to his ears.
He cleared his throat. “So, you draw it in the air? And it just works?”
She chuckled. “Something like that.”
She pointed to one of the runes on the page she had open. “This one makes a shield. It’s strong enough to discourage unwanted attention from the men that show up on my doorstep.”
“I was able to walk in.”
She said without pausing, “Your attention was not unwanted.”
She could have locked him out without a second thought, after their fight yesterday. Yet she let him come back inside and apologize.
His mouth parted, then closed, but she continued on. “It’s not impenetrable, though. If any do get past it, that’s what Bryaxis is for.”
Like with Tomas.
“You’re trusting me with all of this?” was the only thing he could ask. A lesser man could sell out this information, leaving her for dead.
“I am,” she said. “Because I do think that under all that arrogance, and bravado, there is a good man. One that I don’t think would betray my confidence.” 
She turned, so that her chest was almost touching his.
Almost.
“Am I wrong?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t do that.” 
“I know,” she said simply.
Cassian shook his head. “I just don’t understand. You’re giving me the benefit of the doubt, when I have done nothing to deserve it.”
Her eyes softened. “You did the same for me,” she countered. “You put down your sword yesterday, and today, when most other knights wouldn’t hesitate to attack. That means something.” 
“That should be common courtesy.”
She shrugged. “It isn’t. It’s why I let you inside, and why I allowed you back today.”
“Your bar is exceptionally low.”
Her lips curved upwards. “Perhaps.”
She brushed a strand of her hair behind her delicate ear, and Cassian tracked the entire movement, not able to look away. “I’m sorry, too,” she said.
“For what?”
“For saying that I think you’re unworthy. I was angry, but I shouldn’t have said what I did. I believe you may be the most worthy of them all.”
Hope fluttered in his chest. “So, you’ll give me the sword?”
And just like that, it was gone—that moment of vulnerability between them dissolved. Her gaze hardened, and she turned away.
“You can’t marry her. My answer is the same.”
He remained silent.
“I know that’s why you came back. Why you…apologized to me in the first place,” she continued.
“I came back to apologize because I was wrong,” he said. “You hit a nerve, and I lashed out. But I do want to marry her.”
“You don’t know her. How can you marry a woman you don’t know?”
He didn’t have an answer to that, but he insisted, “I would be good to her.”
Her silence was a long one. “After what I’ve seen, I don’t doubt that. But my answer is no.”
She didn’t look his way again, returning to her warding. Her voice was quieter now, almost remorseful, as if she expected him to say something harsh.
He wouldn’t repeat his mistakes.
He stalked off before he could say anything he’d regret.
***
Her golden hair fell down until it tickled against his chest. She moved on top of him, naked and glistening, shaking as she took exactly what she needed from him.
The muscles of her thighs clenched around his waist as she let out a long moan, orgasming around him and slumping forward.
“Cassian,” she whispered.
He pulled her onto him, desperate to chase his own release.
“I–” he tried to say her name desperately. But it wasn’t there on his tongue, as much as he wanted it to be.
He was close. He was–
Cassian woke with a jolt, sweating as he sat up in his bed. His pulse threatened to explode in his throat, and he combed his now damp hair away from his face.
“Fuck.”
***
Before he could question what he was doing, he was saddling Ruby up yet again and making his way through the village.
Never mind that he’d sworn he wouldn’t go back. He told himself it was because there was still a chance he could change her mind. Yes. He could work with that.
The witch was tending to her garden, pulling weeds and gathering herbs into her basket when he arrived.
Her hair was pulled into a messy braid over her shoulder. He was hit with the urge to pull that braid apart, weaving her hair through his fingers as his dream came back to him in full force—the sound of her moaning on top of him, and the silver that blazed as she came around him.
Stop it.
He offered her his usual smile, and she pursed her lips in what he could tell was mock annoyance.
“You came back,” she said.
“I did.”
“My answer isn’t changing.”
“I think you’ll find I can be rather convincing.”
Play with me, he thought.
She seemed amused, if anything, and said, “I suppose we’ll see.”
They moved inside, the witch cleaning the dirt off of her hands. “You still don’t know her,” she said, pondering. “I do wonder how you intend to fix that.”
He dared to say, “And if I came to get to know you?”
She let out a huff of laughter. “Then I would say you were foolish, and to not return.” She gave him a knowing look. “But you haven’t said that, have you?”
He knew what she was truly saying. As long as they didn’t acknowledge it, she would play along. She’d let him come back.
“No,” he agreed. “I haven’t.”
But even still, her eyes glimmered. “Do try to change my mind, Sir Cassian. I’m curious to see what methods you employ.”
He almost smiled at her then, but before he could, the witch froze, looking distantly over his shoulder through the window.
He turned to see what she was looking at, but she didn’t let him.
“Don’t,” she snapped, stepping up and stopping him with a hand to his chin. It was stupid for his gut reaction to be that this was the first time she had touched him willingly. It was like he was a damn teenager all over again, desperate for any form of touch.
She was pressed fully up against his chest, her breasts pushing into him, and he blinked as he tried to pretend this was the most normal thing in the world.
Foolishly, he thought she might kiss him. But that was the lust-addled part of his brain speaking, for the witch then dragged him along and shoved him into a closet, hissing at him. 
“Do not, under any circumstances, leave this room unless I tell you to. And do not try to look.”
The door slammed in his face. He fell back into the clutter and scowled as something jammed into his arm.
She rustled around the cottage, clearly looking for something while muttering under her breath, before the cottage door opened.
There were two sets of creaking footsteps. Another feminine voice filled the room. They talked for a while, most of the conversation indiscernible, but he could pick up a word every now and then.
They were talking about a man, from what he could understand. Cassian leaned back, trying not to listen.
It didn’t work entirely. The second woman started crying, and the witch’s voice turned soothing, more so than he’d ever heard it.
“Here,” the witch said. “This will help. And if it doesn’t, you know where to find me.”
He heard the muffled sound of crying for a few more minutes, along with the occasional murmur of encouragement from the witch. Then the gentle croak of the door as the witch led the woman outside.
Once the door was closed, he heard the long, frustrated sigh that came afterwards. Then the door to the closet opened, the witch standing on the other side of it.
“You can come out.”
Cassian stumbled out of the dark closet, coughing up dust as he knocked over something wooden on the side.
The witch looked tired, her normally bright eyes dull and weary. Seeing this woman, whoever she was, had taken something from her.
“Who was that?” he asked.
“She doesn’t want anyone to know,” she said tiredly.
“She was crying. And you calmed her down.”
A muscle ticked in her jaw. 
“I know you men find this hard to believe, but I am not a monster,” she snapped at him, letting the bite leak into her tone. “Just because you all don’t have sympathy doesn’t mean I don’t, either.”
“I never thought you were,” he said honestly. After yesterday he thought they’d made some progress. But he was forced to admit that there were likely still misconceptions, on both their parts.
He didn’t know where the second half of what she said came from. But she’d been patient with him, so perhaps he could afford her the same courtesy.
“And I know it may still take some convincing, but I’m not one, either.”
He gave her a few seconds to calm down. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes while she sunk into a chair.
“No. I know you’re not,” she said, softer. “I’m sorry.”
He’d already forgiven her. 
He asked, “How did she find you here?”
“Anyone who needs me can find their way here with ease.” She waved her hand. “Magic.”
He had to admit, that made very little sense. But Cassian wasn’t a witch. He wasn’t well-versed in how their magic worked, or the intricacies of it. He was willing to learn, though.
He thought about how he’d just known where to find her, how he’d felt guided somehow. That string in his chest had brought him here, not just once, but three times.
Was that her magic? Or had it been something else? Fate, perhaps?
Cassian pushed those questions aside.
“Why does she come to you?” he asked.
The witch considered his question for a long moment before answering. “Some knights beat their wives. Take them against their will, too. Did you know that?”
That wasn’t what he was expecting her to say. He blinked.
He knew it happened. Though the knights in question never talked about it openly, for it was shameful to treat a woman like that, it did happen.
“I do.”
“You asked me yesterday if I perform curses and jinxes. I give them to the women who ask for them, and those that need them desperately. No one else.”
“And for the women who really need it, I help them escape,” she said. “Them and their children, if they need to.”
Not a soulless witch at all, he thought. He felt a lot of things then. Guilt for assuming and for his ignorance, and a newfound respect for the woman.
Her magic was beautiful. It healed and protected, which was a far cry from the stories and the warnings he had been raised on. Hell, even stepping into the clearing gave him a sense of peace that he now didn’t know how to live without.
“That’s very brave of you,” he said, his tone soft and serious.
Curiosity sparked in her gaze for the first time in this conversation. 
“What is bravery to you, Sir Cassian?” she asked.
“Just Cassian,” he said.
The corner of her mouth lifted. “Answer the question.”
Bravery was protecting those who needed it. It meant putting himself in between a beast and a child, risking himself so that others had a chance at safety.
He said as such. 
The witch gave him a small smile. “Bravery isn’t all swords and slaying beasts,” she said. “Do you understand?”
He’d never thought of any alternative. But after hearing that woman cry on the witch’s shoulder, and knowing that she was going to return to her husband…
It made him sick. He’d always known it happened, but had turned a blind eye because it simply wasn’t talked about.
Maybe there was more than one type of bravery, and more than one type of feat to be celebrated. 
What if there was more to being a hero than he thought?
For ages, he’d thought this forest was home to only monsters. But maybe not all monsters lived in the woods, and maybe not all heroes wore shining armor and lived behind palace walls.
Maybe one of those heroes was here, living among the beasts. As he looked at the witch’s face, he could see it. This woman was brave and honorable and charitable, and everything he wished to be. And she hadn’t slain a single monster in her life.
“I think I’m starting to.”
***
Her answer never changed. Not that he expected it to.
He was supposed to go rescue a princess, but this woman looked like a queen in her own right. And sometimes it was all he could do to stop himself from bowing at her feet and swearing fealty.
He found himself obsessed. There was no logical explanation for it. Cassian returned the next day, and the next, and every time the look on her face was a little less surprised. Every day, he grew a little bit less sure of his purpose. Of his destiny.
“Why do you keep coming back?” she asked. “You know my answer.”
“I don’t know.”
Because there’s something about you that keeps drawing me back. Because I can’t stay away. Because I want to know what your hair feels like between my fingers, and the way your name sounds on my tongue–
He forced himself to stop thinking about it. No. He couldn’t fall for the witch. That would be a disaster of epic proportions. He didn’t even know her name.
Never mind that he had come to love the silence of the woods, the only sound being the music of the wind darting through the trees and the babbling of the small creek across the clearing. Or that they so often fell into a gentle companionship that had Cassian staring in awe, watching her furrowed brow as she muttered spells and put together her potions.
He was merely…fascinated. And she was fascinated with him, too. That was all it was. She’d forget all about him once he fulfilled his quest, and then he’d go back, the princess in hand, and…
That unsettling feeling sunk in his stomach again. He’d never forget her. He didn’t know if he ever could.
“Are you staying for dinner?” she asked.
Her question broke him out of the cycle of his thoughts. She’d come inside from the garden carrying a basket of vegetables. He nodded, and she moved to go place the basket on the counter.
When she walked by him, though, he grabbed onto her wrist, forcing her to stop. 
“Tell me your name?” he begged.
Her gaze fell to where he held her wrist, then her gaze softened as she returned it back to his face. “My name is Nes.”
“Nes,” he said, sounding it out.
Somehow, it was perfect.
***
They stopped talking about the princess entirely. 
Cassian helped in the garden, or wherever she instructed him to. He learned that she loved music, and loved to dance when she was able. He wanted to bring her to the great hall someday to dance with her, although he didn’t say that, because he knew she would shut him out afterwards.
And she learned with great joy that he knew how to cook. She’d watch from the table, smiling softly as she pretended she focused on her notebook, but they both knew the reality of which they would not speak of.
She answered his questions. He answered hers. Slowly she opened up to him, and they both said nothing about the afternoons when she accidentally fell asleep on his shoulder while he read her books that were dirtier than he could imagine.
She listened as he told stories of him and his brothers growing up, and she smiled fondly as she spoke of her and her sisters. They had an interesting relationship, from what he could tell. She always avoided telling him any details about them, never even mentioning their names, which he found slightly odd.
She stopped asking why he was there, because internally they both knew that the answer had changed. So she didn’t ask, and he didn’t admit to anything. 
Knights came by every so often. She always shoved him in the cottage when they did, and he watched from the corner of the window as she wrapped her blue cloak around herself.
Most tried to attack on sight. Once Bryaxis shifted, only a few of them ever continued to hold up their sword. Oftentimes they went running, just as Tomas did.
Tomas was the only one that had rattled her, it seemed. He didn’t push, but she seemed grateful every time he asked if she was alright when she came back inside.
Stragglers came by sometimes, too. People who required her healing services, or a special potion or spell. Once she was drawn back to the city to help with a woman giving labor, and Cassian found himself back at the palace for the rest of the afternoon with no idea what to do with himself.
Today, Nes had him collecting larger stones from the edges of her clearing to place in her garden bed. He cupped water from the stream when he was finished, letting it wash away the sweat on his face, before heading inside.
Nes was struggling to reach a plate at the top of the cabinet.
“This damned…dish,” she muttered to herself, on the very tips of her toes, looking like she was about to fall over.
“Here, I’ll–”
He leaned into her space to grab it for her, his arms reaching high up. He pressed against the back of her body, and he felt every single curve up against his chest.
She seemed to realize the position they were in at the same time he did, slowly turning to face him.
She didn’t push him away. Instead her lips parted, barely an inch, and her hands tightened on the edge of the counter behind her.
Nes didn’t move as he pressed in closer, only a few inches away from her. He lifted her chin with his fingers.
There wasn’t a sound. In the pure serenity of the cottage, there wasn’t a single sound, save for the soft exhale from Nes as Cassian leaned even closer, and the slight rustle as the wind tapped on her glass windows.
Cassian didn’t know who closed the rest of the distance first. But before he could question what he was doing, his lips were on hers, soft and tentative as he explored. He gave in to his fantasy, bringing her golden hair between the pads of his fingers and inhaling her scent.
Honeysuckle. Loveliest when it bloomed in the secrets of the dark, sweet in its own private paradise. Somehow she bloomed out here, in a place with no light. Somehow she made it her own, made this dark corner of the world a little more lovely.
He shouldn’t be doing this. But that first brush of her lips had him deciding that he simply didn’t care. 
He didn’t care.
Whatever consequences came of this, he’d face them with honor. He couldn’t resist it anymore, this growing attraction that had turned to full blown lust and possibly even more.
Her fingers curled on the leather on top of his shoulders. He swallowed her gasp with his lips, pushing her open even further with his tongue, desperate to taste more.
Nothing mattered, if it meant he couldn’t have her at least once. Even if once was all they had. He’d selfishly let himself have a taste before their paths no longer had a reason to cross.
His hand cupped her breast, perfect and full in his palm. He pulled her up against him, letting her feel the growing desire he had for her, and her mouth parted as she let out a moan.
It was music to his ears. A symphony.
“I want you. Now, sweetheart.”
“I want–” she said, in the second between kisses, pulling him to her with anything her hands could grip. “Cassian.”
“Nes.”
She pressed her hips into him as he kissed down her neck, guiding her head back from where he held her hair with his other hand.
He brought that delicate skin of her throat between his teeth, nipping slightly, but not enough to bruise. She shuddered, exposing herself to him even further as he made his way down to her chest.
He was struck with it then. A taste never would have been enough. He would have found himself on the precipice here, time and time again, caught in a web he’d never be able to escape.
He wasn’t certain he’d ever want to escape.
“I’m taking this off,” he said. His hands circled around to the back of her gown, meaning to undo the laces. 
That was her line drawn in the sand.
Nes jolted, gasping as she broke apart from him and latching onto his wrists with her hands, seemingly remembering who they were and why, exactly, this was a bad idea.
“Wait.” Her hands tightened around his wrists. “Stop.”
He did instantly, pulling back to check on her. Her entire face was flushed, lips glistening. Her eyes were wide.
“Nes?” he asked, softer.
“I-” 
She didn’t have to tell him her heart was hammering. He could sense it, convincing himself he could feel it through her palms.
“Have you done this before?” He had to ask. Given that she didn’t invite anyone in here, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that she hadn’t.
But she scowled, thankfully taking away that wide-eyed look, and said, “Of course I have.”
“Ok. Still, we don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” he said slowly. “I’m sorry that I took liberties.”
He didn’t move a muscle as she leaned back. He monitored her every movement and facial expression, but she’d gone nearly unreadable.
Her hands still held his own with a death grip. With a blink she released them, in turn placing her shaking hands on his chest. 
“It’s getting dark,” the witch said. “You should go.”
It wasn’t getting dark. He’d stayed much longer only two days ago, only going back when the sun dipped behind the line of trees surrounding the clearing.
He didn’t want to go. 
“I should?” he asked. 
“Yes.”
He brought his hands down to her, stroking them softly. Nes tensed and moved back, and he immediately regretted it—doing something that made her uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s fine. You did nothing wrong. I did want it.”
She still couldn’t look at him.
“Nes,” he said, watching the shudder go through her from him saying her name. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Right,” she said, her voice sounding like an echo. “Tomorrow.”
***
When Cassian arrived the next morning, the witch was waiting for him.
He’d barely slept the night before, tossing and turning as he thought about their kiss. The way she felt in his arms. How she said his name.
How she stepped away.
The gold of her hair once again made its way into his dreams, and he found himself being awoken by the sound of her name falling from his lips.
Nes.
Something was different today. It was quiet this morning. The chattering was merely a whisper as he left the palace. No humming filled the clearing when he arrived, and the birds didn’t chitter in the way they normally did.
If he didn’t know any better, he’d say there wasn’t a soul to be found. But Nes was here, waiting for him. He knew that before he even walked inside.
He ducked his head under the doorframe to find her curled up in a chair by the window, her gaze set on the floor.
“Hi,” he said, offering an awkward smile in an attempt to break the silence.
Nes remained silent, keeping her eyes cast down, bringing her blanket tighter around her.
That uneasy feeling returned. Something was definitely wrong, he could tell. Cassian didn’t think he messed up too badly last night. She’d said she wanted it as he left. He shifted his weight to his other foot as nerves got the better of him.
“About last night—”
“The sword is on the table,” she cut in, not letting him finish. “You can take it.”
A glance confirmed her words. A large broadsword neatly sat on the table, gleaming in a way natural silver didn’t. He opened his mouth to protest, but his throat had gone dry. He couldn’t speak.
This was supposed to be what he wanted. Wasn’t it? It was why he told himself he was coming back every day, even if he knew it was a lie.
“You wanted to be worthy of a princess? Well, there’s the sword. I’ve deemed you worthy.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
Silence fell. Then he said, “I don’t understand. Are we not going to talk about it?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” 
He took a step forward. “Really?” he asked, with a soft calm. 
Nes glared at him. “I thought this was what you wanted. What other reason could you have for being here?”
Cassian stared at her incredulously. “You know that I’ve been coming here because–”
“No,” she said, cutting him off. “Don’t. I told you not to do that.”
What had she said that one time? That he would be foolish if she was the person he was coming to see. She had told him. And he’d stupidly gotten attached anyway. Tears threatened to burn in his eyes, and as he stared at the sword, he couldn’t help but wonder.
Didn’t she know? Didn’t she know how she now haunted his every thought, his every dream?
Her voice went softer, but it was still firm. “Take the sword, Cassian. Present it to the princess. You’ll have everything you’ve always wanted. You’ll have fulfilled your destiny.”
It felt wrong, leaving her. But he met her unflinching eyes one last time. Nothing softened in them. Nothing gave him any indication that she would change her mind.
“This is what you want?”
“I want you to be happy.” She swallowed, and looked away. “You deserve all the happiness in the world, Sir Cassian. Go and find it.”
“Cassian,” he said. “It’s just Cassian.”
“Right,” she said. But even as she said it, he knew. His name would never fall from her mouth again. Once he left through that door, she’d never have a reason to say it.
He didn’t want to walk through that door.
“It has been an honor, my lady,” he said quietly, before taking the sword she offered and tearing his eyes from her for the last time.
Cassian walked through the door.
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drarry-reccage · 3 days
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Notes on a resurrection by newleaves (126k, M)
Tags: Unspeakable Draco Malfoy, Professor Harry Potter, Bring back Black, Secret Relationships
The Potters stop arguing, for the moment. They look over, their expressions matched in steely irritation. Thankfully, for Draco’s nerves, they’re easy to distinguish besides this. Harry is full of storms, as usual, on his feet as he paces the rug not far from the door, shoulders up around his ears. His father is leaning artfully against the honey-brown Chesterfield sofa, one foot crossed over the other and hands in his pockets, all clean lines and angles. It’s not clear why they’ve been keeping each other company, but Draco supposes that Harry at least can’t resist throwing himself at a problem until it’s either solved or successfully killed him. “Masters and Mistress,” drawls Kreacher, living for this moment. Draco’s often thought that it’s a cruelty, the way that Harry and the others so frequently refuse to let Kreacher express himself. “Mr Potter. May Kreacher present Mr Malfoy…” The pause is exquisite. “And his guest.” This is Lupin’s cue to come out from behind the doorframe, and Draco gets the impression that he’s very nearly run off again. “Just me, I’m afraid,” he says with half a wave. There is the requisite pause as the room takes him in, but then it’s James Potter who reacts – or, more accurately, erupts. Collapsing away from the sofa, he lights up like nothing that Draco has ever seen, breaking into an ebullient laugh, storming movement and a bellow. “You fuzzy cunt, Moony – what?!”
My notes are under cut, containing what could be considered spoilers (though the big plot points I mention didn't come as a surprise to me while reading).
(rec by @dontthrowsticksatme)
Caveat here is that I'm only halfway through the fic as I write this. If the second half is horrible, I apologise, though I can't imagine it to be <3
I LOVE the characterisations in this fic. The way the marauders are portrayed are *chef's kiss*.
I especially love how Harry is juxtaposed with his posh, happy-go-lucky dad. Who, after finding out their old friends Frank and Alice Longbottom have been in St Mungo's all this time, suggests they should have a barbecue. For Neville. If the weather's nice.
Or with cute Lily and her thick accent, and the way her love for Harry sparkles off the screen immediately and in every way. Or little shit Teddy meeting his dad, and the way Draco only encourages him by setting up a prank the day the two meet.
Drarry is almost - but not entirely - secondary to all these family relationships, but their love is a very sweet one, sketched in moments woven throughout the story.
Draco's character comes through in subtle ways, throwaway lines, funny actions and mostly the way the other characters look at him, interact with him. He has the worst blind spots for how much people like him.
And you cannot help but love Harry through Draco's softly adoring eyes. I want to wrap him in my arms and hug tight. Actually, I want to wrap all of them in my arms and hug tight.
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midsommarbearsuit · 3 days
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👓📖Closer Continuation-a Ford Pines x Reader Fic (18+)!📖👓
Hello loves!
Recently I read this fic and I found it absolutely delicious but criminally short, so I wrote a continuation! In order to fully enjoy my part, please read themysteryshackk's first part on ao3! Thanks! She/her pronouns used throughout. WARNING-THIS FIC IS 18+! Enjoy!💘
Stanford continued his work on you, huge hands grappling for any piece of flesh they could find. 
“I’m sure this is exactly what you wanted, hm?” he said, voice low. “Coming down here dressed in such a way…trying to distract me from my research.”
“I’m sorry,” you whined as his hands found your breasts again, molding them.
“You have no clue how often I’ve stared at these, y/n.”
You couldn’t help the wry smile that came to your face. “No offense, doctor, but I have noticed…”
He bristled at the shift in power. As if to rebalance things in his favor, he hoisted your legs up and forced you flat on your back on the sofa so he loomed over you. He pulled your panties off, immediately plunging a finger inside. You groaned, feeling so full immediately.
“Slow down, Doctor Pines…please,” you said, thighs already shaking. 
“Tell me more,” Stanford said. “Tell me what you think of me, dear.”
“Y-you’re the most intelligent person I’ve ever met,” you managed, his fingers fucking into you at a stuttering pace. “It’s such an honor to work with you, sir.”
He growled, taking his leaking cock in his other hand. “Jesus, y/n…”
Even though you could barely handle his finger, you still wanted more.
“Let me make you feel good, sir, please…”
Something darkened in his eyes. “Are you sure you can fit me?” he said, smugness dripping from his voice. He was clearly full of himself, but you didn’t care. You longed to stroke his ego even further. 
“Yes! I’ll do good, I promise…” 
Even with your confident words, your stomach still twisted with nerves. He had a point; could you fit him? Judging by the look on Stanford’s face, it was too late to question it now. 
“You said you wanted to worship me, yes?” he said, lining himself up with your entrance. You winced at the feeling. “Go on. Worship me.”
With that, he thrust himself nearly all the way inside you. The noise you made was far from attractive. You attempted to take all of him, but it wasn’t easy. 
“Are you a virgin?” he asked, stroking your clit casually with his six fingered hand. 
“No sir.”
“Fascinating. You’re incredibly tight, y/n.”
Determined to make him feel good, you pushed your hips down, then up, then down again, attempting to bounce on him. 
You watched as his eyes took in your breasts. “Lovely…” he muttered. One of his hands reached forward to rest at your throat, and your eyes widened. 
Stanford chuckled at your feeble attempts to take all of him in as you writhed beneath him. “Let me help you,” he said. His hand around your neck tightened, his other hand grabbed your hip, and he pulled you down harshly so you were filled completely. 
Tears pricked at your eyes at the sensation, mouth dropping open in a silent scream. 
He took in the look on your face. Jesus, the cocky bastard was practically grinning. “Tell me how it feels, sweetheart.”
Your cheeks heated at the nickname. “Big…” you gasped. “So big…”
He thrusted, pushing against your g spot over and over so you were in a near constant state of orgasm. You felt yourself tighten around him involuntarily. 
“You’re taking it rather well, y/n,” he said, voice only slightly strained. It was almost infuriating how cool he was acting. You would expect such an intelligent, reclusive man to be more awkward with women, especially when one was half nude beneath him. “Such a good research assistant, aren’t you?”
“Please sir…” you whimpered.
“Use your words girl,” he commanded, slowing his thrusts. 
“Don’t stop,” you said. “It would be an honor to have such a genius cum inside me.”
That comment had its desired effect. A growl ripped through Stanford’s throat as he thrusted even harder than he did before. “Good fucking girl…”
You blushed; you had never heard him curse before. 
“I’m close,” he warned you. His grip on your throat tightened until you saw stars. “Take it, sweet girl.”
You felt him pulse inside you, and the sensation had you following right behind him as you groaned his name. 
Embarrassment flooded you immediately. Stanford leaned over you, attempting to catch his breath. He removed himself from you, sighing and pulling his pants back on. You felt glued to the couch, your legs cramping from the vulnerable position he had you in. 
“I’m so sorry Doctor Pines,” you said, finally standing to gather your underwear and put it back on. You felt his large hand on your back, and you turned to face him. 
“You did well,” he said stiffly. Even though he had just come undone in front of you, you still found him as frightening as ever. “Now back to work.”
With that, he left the room, leaving you alone with your spinning thoughts.
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ragsy · 1 day
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"Olive Branch Unlimited Pasta Pass"
A less-than friendly encounter between Dogmark and Kenneth. 993 words. Read under the cut 👇
---
Mark grimaced at the jangle of the shop bell. It was ten minutes to closing; surely nobody needed taxidermy services this urgently. He was going to have to fucking sweep again, and why can't these people ever just put the dead cat in the damn freezer for the night?
He was halfway through his Customer Service Greeting-- a dry and listless "Hi, let me know if you need anything" with an implied "I hope you don't," when--
"Oh. Uh. Hi Kenneth," Mark coughed.
Kenneth, as it were, stepped into the Tucksidermy shop, taking in the many display shelves of magician squirrels, burlesque raccoons, and deer with hats, before finally catching Mark's attention. He smiled, though it did not reach his eyes. "Ah! Mark! Working hard?"
Kenneth let the shop door swing shut behind him; he held a large tupperware container tucked under one elbow, and his other hand gripped something in his pocket. For a man who had walked with a cane for as long as Mark knew him, Kenneth was moving with awfully fluid, easy strides.
Mark eyed the container with heavy suspicion. If there was someone's dearly departed family pet in there, he just might scream.
"Just. Uh. Closing up for the night," he said, setting his broom aside.
"Fantastic!" grinned the older man. "Then I hope you don't mind me asking: is Tuck in?"
Mark's pointed ears flicked.
Tuck had been different since coming back from the last mission. They hadn't told him everything that had happened, and the wedge between them and Kenneth remained vague handwaves and omissions. But still, holes in a story still leave behind the shape of some great and unspeakable thing.
And, if he was being honest, Mark was kinda creeped out by the way that guy was always so chipper. If he had more than a measly ounce of candor, he wouldn't have minded telling the old man to fuck off.
Mark slipped his glasses off and polished them on the front of his shirt.
"Tuck's not here," he lied.
Kenneth's face fell. "Oh! Are they, ah, are they alright?"
"Just-... Busy. I dunno."
This was, at least partially, the truth. The usual signs of Tuck is Working were present: Muffled FM radio pulsing through the wall. A hovering scent of blood and chemicals. A bearing in the workshop vent fan that squeaked at a frequency only dog ears could hear.
Kenneth furrowed his brow. "Oh. Hm."
That was another thing-- In the days since the mission to that facility, everyone had returned drained, bedraggled, frightened, or pissed off.
Everyone, that was, except Kenneth.
Kenneth, who Mark had seen take up jogging. Kenneth, whose familiar lines and wrinkles had begun to fade. Kenneth, whose sharpened eyes and revitalized wits now studied Mark, searching him for answers.
It all made Mark's skin crawl. Even as a grown-ass adult, he couldn't avoid feeling like a kid caught in a fib by a teacher. What the hell else was he supposed to say?Desperate for a break in eye contact, he replaced his glasses, grabbed the broom, and resumed sweeping.
Kenneth cleared his throat.
"Well, then, in any case, can I leave this here?" He was hoisting the container aloft in both hands. At Mark's skeptical stare at the plastic lid, he cracked open a corner, revealing a mess of pasta, tomatoes, and cheese.
Kenneth mistook Mark's sigh of relief for gratitude.
"Lasagna. I thought you both might appreciate some leftovers from dinner at Alice's house last night. So-- Ah, so sorry you had to miss it again!" The smile returned to his face. Uneasy. Apologetic.
Sorry. Right. Maybe they stayed home for a reason. Maybe they didn't want to be there with him. Maybe Tuck would have gone if he would just get rid of that fucking tape recorder. Mark's fingers twitched. Maybe he could take it from him the hard way.
He bit his tongue and swallowed his words.
"Um. Great," he said finally. He set down the broom and picked up the dustpan, dumping its contents unceremoniously in the trash.
"Ah," said Kenneth, crestfallen. Heavy silence fell over the two of them.
Once it was clear that Mark would make no move to accept the offering, Kenneth crossed the room and placed the container on the register counter. He patted the lid conclusively.
"Well, ah, I-... I hope you enjoy it!" A glimmer of hope clung to the edges of his words with desperation.
Once again, Mark said nothing. Folding his arms, his gaze darted from the tupperware, to the clock above it, to Kenneth. He sighed and swiped a hand down his face.
"Please go."
"Wh— Pardon?"
"We're closed."
Kenneth blinked. "O-oh, so soon?"
He swept his eyes across the shop. "Will, ah, will Tuck be back soon then, maybe?"
Mark thrust a clawed finger towards the door. "Get. Out," he growled, his human mask vaporized in an instant. A snarl curled up his snout, and his hackles bristled. Enough was enough.
The older man staggered backwards, eyes wide in terror. He raised his hands in submission and, without another word, fumbled open the door and slunk outside.
Mark slammed the shop door behind him and twisted the deadbolt shut. He glanced at the clock again. Five til was probably close enough.
Seething, he finished his chores and stalked out the back door.
Later, he rapped his knuckles on the doorframe to Tuck's workshop.
"Hey, we're all closed up now. I'm gonna get going." His voice shook a little, but he had at least managed to hide the dog back away.
Tuck looked up from its workbench. "Oh, heya Mark," it drawled. "Customers give ya any trouble today?"
"No. All good. See you tomorrow."
He hoisted the shop trash bag on his way out the door and slung it into the dumpster. It landed against the metal bottom with a heavy thud.
Kenneth's olive branch would be left there to rot until pickup day.
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shivunin · 4 months
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Scattered Stars
Chapter 23 is up now, which means my Fenhawke anthology fic is finally finished!
It had been months since the Arishok and months more since she’d been formally named Champion. Perhaps a whole year had passed since the night they'd spent together. The time had flown past, too quickly for him to grasp when it might have mattered. In a sense, Hawke hadn’t been there for much of it herself, for she'd sat hollow-eyed and silent in her library for days on end with hardly a word or gesture to indicate that she still lived at all. “Hawke,” he said quietly, when he might have formed another name. The corner of Maria’s mouth quirked. She held a hand between them, palm up. A peace offering, he supposed, or a choice. Nothing had changed; he could not take back what he’d done or who he was. But— He could not touch her. Even the thought of it dragged him back to that night, when he’d taken her into his arms and buried his hands in her hair and— “Goodnight,” Fenris told Hawke, and set off into the Kirkwall night alone.
Read more or start from the beginning
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bambeebirdie · 1 year
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This is for @bluepeachstudios ‘s Ghost in a Shell. It’s really good you should read it.
I looked at exactly one picture of Jupiter Jim and went “yeah this should be enough to draw him.” I will not be answering if it actually was
Have some bonus content under the cut!
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And sketches
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(I love any character who can say “I don’t want to go back to prison” it’s like the funniest thing to me)
#i don’t know what compelled me to hand write that text. it’s not very good#we just don’t do things the easy way here. that’s why I render with an app on my phone. i don’t believe in simplicity#i had a plan for a lot more full body shots but then I couldn’t find any good lair references so I decided to screw it#I’ve never drawn rise characters before. this is my first time drawing them and expressions wow#I’m not very good at style copying and my default is so much rounder than rise is so that was just a woof#i should say all text in these shit posts aren’t canon at all. you can figure out where they likely take place yes#but they never show up in story#just a little fyi incase anyone decides to check it out#the entire inspiration for this post was just watching 2003 and going#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DID THAT??#ghost causally dropping the most wild facts about his life has like endless shit post potential#yeah I went to space. stole a ship. went to jail. aided a fugitive. held a dictator at gunpoint#and folks that’s just one arc. go watch 2003#i debated making angst as it is likely more currently topical but I’m a shit poster at heart#chapter 29. how we feeling boys? I’m actually doing rather well. i think just the fact the build up is over and I’m so tired I no longer#have emtions I’m just pumped for the next chapter whoo!#i started to lose mojo very fast while doing this but I wanted to finish today so I did. i hope it’s not too obvious#yeah anyways go read ghost in a shell#go watch 2003#go read ghost in a shell#i’m gonna go to bed now#ghost in the shell#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2018#fan fiction recommendations#fan art of a fan fic#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2003
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lemongogo · 2 months
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j need to get back into life drawing post haste
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#i think im losing . construction in my art#im forgetting how to draw bodies think. idk#literlaly so annoying . its like fun when u get the hang of things but then u neglect one aspect in pursuit of another#and then have to go back and touch up that old skill to try and balance jt and theres that brief period where#eveyrthing is harmonious and then it outpaces itself again and becomes ths juggling act#overall i enjoy it . the drawing sessions but smtimes finding the will 2 get out of bed is like pulling teeth#bc i know im never going 2 walk out of there feeling satisfied but . actually idc#a lot of my pals . my friends there r a couple of decades older than me and they have the best advice tbh#randy. and donna . randy and donna and third guy whose name i forget . -> if u r satisfied at the end of a session did u rly learn anything#always want 2 improve . right right#UARHGHQHHH ill do it ill go . im scared bc i feel like it tends to artblock me#bc i start getting in my head ab what i know/see vs what i can only draw#but im sooo addicted 2 wanting to get better . i want to draw like a million people i see on here who have that great construction and#weight and anatomy and dynamism . i want to be like u . ill work to be like u ill try#and i feel like ive negelcted my basics for soo long .. i need to get ths foam shapes and a lamp . NOWWWW#yotasuke#i miss yotasuke so much.damn. thats crazy . anyways#the way he points out that yatoras dedication/hard work is a talent . like ueah . i agree w him im envious of that r u kidding me#and ytora walkimg arnd like oh u have it so easy ytsk. he needs to shut the hell up smtimes#i meed to see them eviscerate each other blood and all.#spongebob icecream truck- not that yatoras hard work isnt Also a skill but ykwim . if youve read YKWIMM#bc he was always like woe is me im soo untalented and its like no bro u r you just manifest it differently . that natural drive is a talent#but that natural drive also takes skill to foster and nurture else it has no purpose .#no i cant be blp posting in the tags bye
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rithmeres · 1 year
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genuinely these panels are going to make me ugly cry
#i'm not back for real yet i think i want to stay away longer. i'm just here to put more things in the queue and answer messages#i really enjoyed trimax vol 4 idk something about it was less miserable than 1-3#might have been the first volume that i wasn't grimacing the entire time i read it. or maybe i'm just desensitized now.#unironically this prayer is soooo beautiful to me. give us this day our daily bread. not bread for the week not bread for a year#just enough for today.#lately when i've been praying it just looks like#please for the love of god please please please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPL#things are not looking good for the community house.. lots bureaucracy with the city. and the church that funded us is falling apart#i don't know what i'm going to do if we get shut down it's the one thing in my life that's worth anything#all those kids... where are they going to go. who is going to help them. where is the neighborhood going to get their food.#in two days it will be the anniversary of [REDACTED] and i am so so so scared#just sat in my room today and fruitlessly scrolled thru jobs im not qualified for & tried not to think about thinking about killing myself#i don't WANT to kill myself i don't want to think about it i hate thinking about killing myself i will never ever kill myself or even try#but there is a demon or perhaps a ghost or evil wizard that tells me there's an easy way everything can go away. and it's A STUPID. BITCH.#please do not reply to this post i know you all mean well but i just don't think i can handle it.#talking about it i mean. and hearing people say nice but empty things.#i just wish i had someone to sit next to me.#personal#i don't want to go to church tomorrow :( it all feels so fake and i do not ever feel fed.
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arts-i-enjoy · 6 months
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AHHHHHH
#this post brought to you by: me#i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses#i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP#like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready#anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT#and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk#and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message#even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL#AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year#i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job#which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind#so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something#on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now#on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT#but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to#richard started yelling and swearing el oh el#might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option#the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going#idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks#this is why i want to get out of here#also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about#not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!
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another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me
#literal acknowledged interpersonal abuse Needing to be ''mediated'' (implicit premise of preserving that relationship >>>)#and if the victim doesn't participate they're treating their abusive partner / abusive relationship as ''disposable''#like in what meaningful way. getting away from an abuser is ''disposing'' of them like imprisonment / killing From A State?#dropping an abusive relationship is ''disposing'' of it? like uh yeah i sure hope it is#this is always Vaguely Applied to ''ppl don't want to HANDLE CONFLICTS or DO THE WORK'' & then connected to political actions#like well someone's just a bad person In The World / All Things if they stopped being my friend and i don't know why#like of course that Can Be good faith. it's a personal business#but if someone ghosts you and you truly don't know why Yeah maybe there's something going on but like okay let them go#if they want to do that for reasons you don't think are Compelling or they just aren't interested / putting in that Effort then like#what Friendship is really being lost here. but then tweet about it with no context & a zillion ppl like SO TRUE kys randos#[fart reverb Conflict Is Not Abuse] standard abuse apologetics which are easy & a zillion ppl go SO TRUE b/c It's Abuse Culture#someone HAS to Answer My Texts / Calls / In Person Confrontations As A Bold Clearsighted Political Actor are you kidding#someone really doesn't. even if you Really are like ''and i'm not even consciously malicious'' what a high bar#one gazillion abusive parents will tell you And My Estranged Child Won't Even Tell Me Why / Doesn't Have Any Good Reasons / Won't Talk....#what am i supposed to doooo i'm at a losssss And Really I'm The Victim#''i want to break up'' / ''okay i don't :) let's talk through Your Feelings :) [waffle around until insisting on Same Access To Person]''#someone can rescind interpersonal access to themself For Any / No Reason. on a dime no explanation necessary. for god's sake#and friendship is not actually some magically pure & Neutral relationship either. same things#anyway just unfollowed some rando for their thread spinning off a vague qrt ''ppl are so AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION they unfriend u''#going on & on abt how You Need To Put In The Work & Effort & You're Just Probably A Bad Person Otherwise & Disposability like#the disposability is my three points wastebasket toss. death via the state =/= someone won't talk to you. can we be at all serious#every day i reach out further like aplatonic people [some emblem gesture] lovelessness [same] help me#thinking of a Good Tweet i saw abt framing everything re: interactions with others around Consideration first & foremost#wildly enough the way you treat people doesn't need to have Fundamental Assumptions re: like ah Friendship / Community / Love / Family &ccc#how do you treat a stranger. how do you treat someone who you don't personally like &/or vice versa. how do you treat ppl you don't Meet.#it's all so vague it could mean Anything but a) often hints towards [abuse victims are framed as Bad Political Actors]#& b) then that's what people read into & respond to for sure lol#as ever ''oh everyone's just little bitches who can't handle any discomfort. yes; this was prompted by my being discomfited''#wait yeah lol i did not Confront this stranger to try to Posit this to them in twttr's character limit; just unfollowed. disposability smh
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getvalentined · 1 year
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An open letter to @staff
I already submitted this to Support under "Feedback," but I'm sharing it here too as I don't expect it to get a response, and I feel like putting in out in public may be more effective than sending it off into the void.
The recent post on the Staff blog about changing tumblr to an algorithmic feed features a large amount of misinformation that I feel staff needs to address, openly and honestly, with information on where this data was sourced at the very least.
Claim 1: Algorithms help small creators.
This is false, as algorithms are designed to push content that gets engagement in order to get it more engagement, thereby assuring that the popular remain popular and the small remain small except in instances of extreme luck.
This can already be seen on the tumblr radar, which is a combination of staff picks (usually the same half-dozen fandoms or niche special interests like Lego photography) which already have a ton of engagement, or posts that are getting enough engagement to hit the radar organically. Tumblr has an algorithm that runs like every other socmed algorithm on the planet, and it will decimate the reach of small creators just like every other platform before it.
Claim 2: Only a small portion of users utilize the chronological feed.
You can find a poll by user @darkwood-sleddog here that at the time of writing this, sits at over 40 THOUSAND responses showing that over 96 percent of them use the chronological feed*. Claiming otherwise isn't just a misstatement, it's a lie. You are lying to your core userbase and expecting them to accept it as fact. It's not just unethical, it's insulting to people who have been supporting your platform for over a decade.
Claim 3: Tumblr is not easy to use.
This is also 100% false and you ABSOLUTELY know it. Tumblr is EXTREMELY easy to use, the issue is that the documentation, the explanations of features, and often even the stability of the service is subpar. All of this would be very easy for staff to fix, if they would invest in the creation of walkthroughs and clear explanations of how various site features work, as well as finally fixing the search function. Your inability to explain how your service works should not result in completely ignoring the needs and wants of your core long-term userbase. The fact that you're more willing to invest in the very systems that have made every other form of social media so horrifically toxic than in trying to make it easier for people to use the service AS IT WORKS NOW and fixing the parts that don't work as well speaks volumes toward what tumblr staff actually cares about.
You will not get a paycheck if your platform becomes defunct, and the thing that makes it special right now is that it is the ONLY large-scale socmed platform on THE ENTIRE INTERNET with a true chronological feed and no aggressive algorithmic content serving. The recent post from staff indicates that you are going to kill that, and are insisting that it's what we want. It is not. I'd hazard to guess that most of the dev team knows it isn't what we want, but I assume the money people don't care. The user base isn't relevant, just how much money they can bring in.
The CEO stated he wanted this to remain as sort of the last bastion of the Old Internet, and yet here we are, watching you declare you intend to burn it to the ground.
You can do so much better than this.
Response to the Update
Under the cut for readability, because everything said above still applies.
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I already said this in a reblog on the post itself, but I'm adding it to this one for easy access: people read it that way because that's what you said.
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Staff considers the main feed as it exists to be "outdated," to the point that you literally used that word to describe it, and the main goals expressed in this announcement is to figure out what makes "high-quality content" and serve that to users moving forward.
People read it that way because that is what you said.
*The final results of the poll, after 24 hours:
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136,635 votes breaks down thusly:
An algorithm based feed where I get "the best of tumblr." @ 1.3% (roughly 1,776 votes)
Chronological feed that only features blogs I follow. @ 95.2% (roughly 130,077 votes)
This doesn't affect me personally. @ 3.5% (roughly 4,782 votes)
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