#so instead I today gave him his update he was craving so much. and told him to shut up and stop treating me and my siblings like

[inazuma-fulgur]

Feeling so bad mentally, I don't wanna go to work tomorrow

But also I need full time employment

But also the state made it possible for me to change my status to searching work but not to change my status regarding that I'm technically jobless + can't afford a flat + I have to move soon + I have no idea how I would get the financial support the state technically offers

I hate the state, why you offering services but not offering useful explanations of your services?

[minnieves]

thank you for supporting bj ben. this may be his last update for a while. thank you @katokki for the motivation. see announement. i hope you enjoy this one. happy reading!

bj ben part one, two, three, and four

new to the bj series? see here for the guide.

warnings: slight exhibition, filming, and mutual masturbation.

summary: some feelings are not meant to be suppressed. if so, there would spurs of feelings that would branch far enough that they would reach the other.

"that's all for today everyone," beomgyu called while clapping his hand. making everyone turn to him as they pack their stuffs. his eyes scanning the room as he smile to everyone. all except you. "great job everyone!"

everyone was leaving the lab while you stall behind. wanting to talk to beomgyu. when he scanned the room he noticed how you're just sitting there. watching him quietly, like you do when in class. he looked around before closing the door.

"y/n, are you falling behind?" he asked. packing his things to prevent himself from walking towards you despite how fast his heart is beating. he glanced at you to give you a small smile. "did you have any troubles with our experiment today?"

"are you avoiding me?" you asked him. now standing in front of him as you wait for him to acknowledge you. it has been a few weeks since you've exchanged nudes with him. despite them going back and forth, your relationship outside it is stagnant. "are you playing with my feelings beomgyu?"

"what are you talking about?" he asked. his eyes looking at you. as if he was reading your expression to know how he could plead you. and you hate it.

"what are your plans for me?" you asked him. you were supposed to hold his hand when he pulled away. your eyes drift down to his obvious rejection before looking back at his eyes. you have him a sad smile before retreating your hand. "i'm sorry, i must've read your intentions towards me wrongly."

you gave him another smile. shrugging your bag on your shoulder before walking past him. you closed your eyes when you turn the nob. it opened lightly before being shut again. making you look at the force above you that closed it shut.

"you're driving me fucking crazy," he whispered on your neck. you could feel how shallow his breathing. like his heart beat would be racing inside him. you were about to turn around when beomgyu stilled you. "this is inappropriate."

"i'm a second year. in a few weeks a third year. we're university students beomgyu," you remind him. pulling his hand off to turn yourself around. you grabbed his cheek pulling him forward. allowing him to lean his forehead on yours. "you're making it sound weird."

"i have so much from you," he said. eyes refusing to meet yours as you rub his cheek with your thumb. he held on your hand. placing a soft kiss at the back of it. eyes slowly meeting yours while he's kiss was placed there. "still, i can't get enough of you."

you pulled your hand down. leaning forward for a kiss. beomgyu placed his index finger between your lips. a smile on his lips. he held your face on one side. kissing your temple instead.

"i can't have any relationships with my student to prevent biases," he told you. his lips dangerously close to yours making you swallow subconsciously as you look at his eyes. "can you wait a few more weeks, y/n?"

bj ben is live...

you haven't been watching ben for a while. one, you have feelings for beomgyu. two, beomgyu reminds you of ben. three, the longer you stay away from ben the more you subconsciously crave for beomgyu. none of it makes sense.

"what's troubling you?" ben asked softly. making you look at him with sad eyes through the screen. he fixed his glasses before combing his hair. "you don't look like yourself."

"i don't think it's fair to be romantically involve with two people at once," you said. closing your eyes and sighing you shook your head while tapping your face. pull yourself together y/n, you tell yourself.

"you're a player," he said laughing. showing a cock ring to the camera. eyes dropping down to read the comments. "or are you being played?"

"what?" you said. confused with his statement. head turning towards the screen since you were looking for the new toy that you bought. grabbing two bullet vibrators to attach them on your nipples without turning them on, just yet.

"come play with me now," he called. undoing his pants as you strip yourself. his cock already half hard on the screen. he smirked before lubing the new toy. "are you interested?"

"that looks like a vibrator," you said. noting the navy blue silicone that is similar to the dildo in your hand. you look back on his toy before lubing your own. "i like it's contrast on your skin."

you watch as beomgyu put it down is length. stretching the material to pull it over his balls. he was being so gentle, but you can see the restraint he has.

"fuck," he moaned. feeling how tight they are around his cock. wrapping his hand around his cock to make it even harder. "i look pretty."

"yes," you moaned. turning both vibes on. teasing your slit with the dildo. you open your legs wider to allow yourself more space to play with your cunt. "you should see me."

"soon. don't get to eager now and play with me," he told you. combing his hair back once more as he moves his hips gently. the pressure on his cock is making him more sensitive. "slide my little proxy in, love."

"proxy? you're funny," you said. sliding it in. despite having a few toys yourself, testing them new makes you sensitive. maybe from the anticipation of fun, but also because you're scared that you wasted your money. "fuck beomgyu."

you stopped your movements. eyes widening from what you said. your eyes moving towards the screen as you feel yourself cry. you bit your lip as you press the vibe on. pushing it in and out of you.

"you're gone for a while and come back moaning another's name?" he asked. eyes looking through the lens of the camera. you felt exposed, the shivers at the back of your spine running down heavier. "what a way to greet your boyfriend."

you feel your chest pang as you try to hold your emotions in. focusing on the vibrations on your cunt and nipples as he play with his tip. his slow movements makes you move your hips against the toy. clenching around it as you hear how lubed his cock is.

"i told you, i'm conflicted," you told him. throwing your head back with how the vibe is touching your spot. making you throw your head back as you push it in more, before sliding it all out. "fuck, this feels good."

"watch me," he said. his hand not even pumping near the base and his balls. he have always played with them during his live. maybe the cock ring is making him more sensitive. "this vibrates too."

you hear soft vibrations through the screen. ben's eyes rolling lightly as he humps his hand. few moans leaving his lips with his brows furrowed.

"fuck, that's so good," he moaned. legs spreading wider to prevent himself from rubbing near his balls. he's taking soft but deep breaths. he felt like he's hallucinating. smelling you around him. touching him like he does, maybe better. "your mouth would feel so good."

"that toy must be really good," you told him. pleased by how loud he's being. your hips trying to keep up with his new pace. "fuck, you sound nice."

"i'll sound even better if you're here," he said. feeling how full he is. he have used vibes before. just not like this. not wrapped around his cock. maybe under it, but not like thim. making him like ir even better. the soft vibrations travelling up his length. "i want to your mouth, so bad."

"use me then," you said as you feel your high approaching. moans filling your room. both from yours and his mouth. "we sound good together."

"i know," he said. pumping his cock faster. making you move the vibe along. trying to mimic his pace as you do. "i'm going to cum!"

"cum," you whispered. watching him cum, and so did you. you leave the app as you ride your high. pulling the vibe out and removing the bullets.

you sink into the tub as you cry to yourself. feeling more conflicted than before. what if you're only pursuing beomgyu because he reminds you of ben? would the be unfair for him? are you willing to be that person?

"you've always been good at following directions," beomgyu whispered between kisses. you're in his ta office. his thumb rubbing on your nipples as he slide his fingers inside your underwear. "are you planning yo leak though my papers?"

"no. i wasn't expecting you to crave me this much," you told him. moaning in his mouth when he slid two fingers in. you feel confused with how reactive your body is to beomgyu. "didn't know ta's are allowed to finger their student inside their office."

"you think so low of me," he said. spreading your legs wider he ge fingers you faster. pleased with how reactive you are to his touch. he couldn't help but scan your features. he dreamt of this, yet they can't compare to this. "you look so pretty like this."

"i'll look prettier with your cock inside me," you told him. throwing your head back as he pampers your neck with kissed. feeling you clench around his fingers. you move your hips with his fingers.

his fingers moving in wave-like motions. hitting you better that your fingers could ever do. your head thrown back as your cunt is making so much noise with how wet you are. pleasing beomgyu as he fingers you more.

"my god, love," he moaned. hearing you cry on his neck as you cum around his finger. he let you ride it out. pushing the digits inside your mouth. watching you suck it clean while you look at him. "didn't know you could get this submissive."

"i'm not?" you asked confused. beomgyu dipping down to kiss you. moaning when he taste you on your tongue. you tongue clashing with his.

"beomgyu [sunbae]?" a student called. making you push him off. hopping down his desk. fixing yourself as beomgyu is holding your waist. kissing the junction on your neck. smelling your perfume that he know by heart. "i just have a few questions."

"y/n," beomgyu whispered on your lips. his hand holding your neck as he pulls you towards him. "if you play with my feelings, i'll make sure that you won't recover from me."

[peachysamu]

Bed For One

Summary: a collection of diary entries where you realize the bed is too warm and hindsight is 20/20

Character: Miya Osamu x gn!Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Genre: Angst

A/n: I am fascinated by the timeline of a failed relationship. That though some changes feel minuscule, they are the stepping stones to even bigger things.

August 14

Hey you, it’s me. Your old self. I hope that when you come back to these, you find clarity because things feel so uncertain right now. You went to bed angry last night. Samu slept on the couch. He said it was because he got hot. You know the real reason. It was because you were still fighting. You’re not affected because you’re still mad. He can go sleep on the couch for all you care. You went to work. Was a little quiet since you know, life at home doesn’t feel so happy. When you got home, Samu surprised you with flowers on the counter and your favorite snack next to it. It reminded you that you love him. That whatever you guys were fighting about isn’t even worth it. Which it wasn’t. You just got mad last night because Samu forgot to buy toothpaste on the way home like you asked for. And then it turned into a whole thing. But the flowers reminded you that everything is okay.

August 30

Life with Samu has been good as of late. He kisses you when he gets home. He always calls you when he’s off and asks if there’s anything we need. Things feel like they’re back in sync again. Like how it felt when you first started dating. You guys went on a date the other day. First time in a while. He held your hand the whole time. Went to the park. Not as extravagant as it used to be, but that’s fine. He doesn’t have to try as hard anymore. He has your heart already. And it was nice. On the way home, you shared an onigiri together.

September 14

Samu is taking you out on a date! An actual date to a fancy restaurant! He called you while you were at work and told you he made reservations to that one fancy restaurant. The one that he’s been talking about lately with that guy that has his own cooking show. Told you he was going to close up shop early so that you guys could have a nice night out. That we deserve it. Can’t wait!

September 16

Hey you, sorry for missing a day. You’re probably wondering how the date went. Awful. You’ll probably remember too but just in case you’ve forgotten, that day was the first day you had ever seen Samu look at you with so much disdain. You cowered before him for the first time. Hunched yourself against the doorframe of your bathroom door with tears in your eyes. He didn’t hurt you. He was just so angry. I truly hope you never forget the way your heart clenched and the way you couldn’t breathe for hours after. That strong and wide build of his that has always cuddled you and made you feel safe, for the first time, made you scared. Over what? A misunderstanding? Because you thought he said “Be ready at 6:30” instead of “Be there at 6:30”? You said some hurtful things yourself. Threw the toothpaste incident at him. That was a mistake because then the whole thing blew up again. But you’re not perfect and neither is he. So why couldn’t he have been more understanding?

You’re laying in bed right now and Samu’s in the living room. The house has been silent for hours. The two of you have been silent for days. Sometimes you cry but you’ve expended a lot of energy on that already. So now you’re just tired. And you want Samu to comfort you. But you’re too prideful because you don’t think his reaction was warranted. And you wonder if Samu’s pride is holding him back too.

September 20

You and Samu still haven’t talked, well not at least about the fight. Just ‘good mornings’ and ‘how are yous’ here and there. You went out with your friends and while you were out, you brought home milk tea for him. You remembered he was craving it before the whole incident. You didn’t get the reaction you were hoping for. Just a nod and a thanks. Tension was thick in the air. But then he asked if you ate and brought you a bowl of miso soup and fish. It gave you enough confidence to ask him to sleep in bed with you. He did. But it felt forced and uncomfortable. You tried to be soft and cuddle against his back. Tried to find comfort in intimacy. He neither eased into your touch nor moved from your grasp. Just lied there. Instead of finding comfort, you found hurt.

October 17

That big fight that you guys had with date night is over and done with. You’ve talked it over with him properly and you guys are okay now. Things are back to normal. For the most part at least. You eat dinner together and shower together. He washes the dishes on days when you’ve had a rough day. He sleeps next to you. But every morning you wake up, you find him on the couch. He still uses the excuse that he gets hot in the middle of the night. Sometimes he changes it up and says that you were moving around too much and bothering him. You get it. He’s a busy man and deserves comfortable rest. But it hurts. Because he used to tell you he loved sleeping with you, that he’d have it no other way.

October 29

You told Samu that you don’t want to become comfortable waking up without him. The surprise and fear he held warmed you. You could see that he still cared about your feelings and for the past couple of days, he’s met your request and has slept with you for the whole week. It has you overjoyed. You told him that you could turn the a/c down so he won’t get hot in the middle of the night. He insisted the he’s fine. Your insecurities were shoved down your throat when Osamu turned around and cuddled you to sleep. You woke up this morning still in his arms.

November 3

You and Samu fought again. And he’s back on the couch.

November 29

You woke up today with the bed all to yourself. Sprawled in a diagonal formation and legs tangled in the sheets. You’ve grown comfortable in your own bed where it is neither cold nor too hot. You realized this bed fits one and you wondered how it ever fit two. Or if it will ever need to.

December 25

Hey you. It’s me again. Your old self remember? It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You’ve been very busy and as much as you tried to update yourself and remind yourself of this process, you just never had the time. You did read the old journal entries though. They helped a lot. They helped you understand things you couldn’t see while you were living it. You’re going out with some friends for a Christmas dinner. Don’t forget to tell them thank you. They’ve been good to you. You’re on the train right now, and in your free time, your mind wandered to Samu. And now you’re here. You hope he’s okay. You hope he enjoys your Christmas gift. You hope he can finally sleep comfortably in his own bed.

[foodieforthoughts]

Deep in Love

Summary: It's been too long since Chris has been away. When his flight gets delayed, she's sad. But wakes up to Chris ready to take her breath away.

Pairing: Chris Evans x OFC

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: 18+ content, bodily fluids, oral (female receiving), sexual Intercourse, unprotected sex

A/N: I had to give some loving to my other muse, Mr. Evans. First ever smut and I would like to start with him because he has been the object of my fantasies for more than a decade.

Title: Deep in Love

Chris hated it when I watch his interviews online. He said he only acts the way the public wants him to be like, a little naughty for PR, a little held down to not come off as uncivilized or too out spoken.

To some extent I agreed. Chris was the human equivalent of a teddy bear, soft and cuddly and his intellect was beyond what could be projected through the camera. Chris was more than just a face and I was lucky to see him for who he really was.

Waking up to his sleep ladden eyes, heavy voice with tousled hair was the best sight for me. But I would never lie that seeing him on screen, all primped and dashing, got me craving for him even more.

Especially when he had been away for months on end and Skype calls could only satisfy me so much.

This particular one that I had stumbled on YouTube, a photoshoot interview that featured him answering the same old questions about his life. He always complained he was so tired of repeating the same things, but it was all part of the job eventually. He looked breathtakingly handsome in this one, the photographer had done a fantastic job.

Chris looked the best with his beard-a personal preferance for him and me alike. It was trimmed neatly, his hair slicked back and the beige and brown outfit complimenting him so well. Hearing his voice, that laugh, it just made me miss him more.

Dodger whined from his place on the adjacent couch. Chris's voice from the speakers seemed to have grabbed his attention too.

"Yeah, buddy. I know. I miss him too." I cooed at him.

My phone rang besides me, a video call from the man himself.

"Hi, babe."

How was it possible to be feeling mushy by your boyfriend's voice even after being together for three years?

"Tell me you are reaching home soon." I went to sit near Dodger, ruffling his fur while I spoke to Chris.

He scratched the back of his neck. "Actually, my flight got delayed because of the weather."

I frowned. I had been so excited for him to finally be with me, even prepared his favourite lasagna and bought his favourite wine. I was hoping that he would make in time for lunch and then we could cuddle in the bed while he slept his jet-lag off.

"Hey," he called out. His eyes soft and apologetic. "I'll be home today, don't you worry. Okay?"

I was afraid if he didn't come home tonight, I might forget what it felt like to be buried in his chest, his arms holding me tight. His scent was already close to a faded memory, no matter how hard I tried to remember it.

"I miss you so much." I sounded a bit whiny there, but I really did miss him a lot.

"I miss you too, baby. I can't wait to kiss you till you become breathless." He said in a sing-song voice, trying to make me laugh.

I did chuckle but the thought of being kissed by Chris untill my lungs gave out felt so hot. As my thoughts began drifting to activities that usually followed our out-of-breath kissing, my cheeks heated up and wetness began forming down south.

Dodger decided to bark at the moment, all the way near the door.

"Oh, someone wants to go pee-pee." Chris chuckled and shook his head.

I was thankful that Chris took no notice of my blush because I wasn't sure if I could handle it if he had decided to tease me with some descriptive imagery of our love making. I glanced at our pooch staring at me with expectant eyes to let him out.

"Wait, I'll just let him out-"

"Actually, I'll call you back. Someone is at the door, probably an update. If I'm late, babe, don't wait up okay? I'll kiss you good morning tomorrow."

I nodded and he was gone. I really didn't want to miss giving him a welcome hug when he came home. I didn't want a good morning kiss, I wanted a good night loving.

"Looks like we'll have to wait a little longer for your dad, Bubba." I told Dodger before letting him out.

***

I had no clue what time it was. When I opened my eyes, our bedroom lights were on, music playing from my ear buds, and a warm presence behind me.

Thought about not locking the door securely, or leaving a window open, giving access to a murderous intruder flooded my mind. I turned so quickly to look at the presence, I had to blink several times from the head rush.

My heart was racing from the fear, but it wasn't an intruder's sinister eyes that met mine. The man with soft, blue green eyes with a tired smile on his face looked back at me.

"Chris?" I sat up instantly, giving myself another head rush. But this was incredulous. I really hoped I wasn't dreaming. "Are you really here?" I stupidly asked.

His chest rumbled with his chuckle, him sitting up too. His face so close to mine, his breath washed over my face. A wide smile spread over my face and I threw my arms around him.

He welcomed me and held me tightly against his chest. Oh, how much had I missed the physical contact between us. He felt so warm, so strong, it made my heart flutter. I took a deep breath, the faint scent of his cologne and soap lingering, enveloping me entirely.

Chris pulled back his face, making me look at him. He placed a gentle hand behind my head and slowly placed a kiss on my lips.

I swear I was about to melt. He pulled me closer with his arm, I was almost straddling him now. Our bodies were flushed together, my arms still around his neck.

His beard scuffed against my face, as his lips moved with mine in perfect synchronization.

I had imagined this moment various times in the past months, about our reunion. It always hurt me when he left but whenever he came back, it felt surreal. I could feel the intensity of our kiss deepen with his tongue beginning to move with mine. Warmth spread from my cheeks, to my chest and settled as a heat pooled between my thighs as I tasted his sweet cavern.

I moaned as I felt his erection beginning to strain against his pants, nudging my thigh through the clothes.

The desperation to feel our bodies close, sans the obstructive fabric of our clothes, was so urgent that we nearly tore them off of our bodies. Chris laid me down on the bed, placing himself in between my legs. His cock was hard and ready and my core wet and dripping for him.

But instead, Chris decided to travel down my body. He gently grabbed a hold of my breasts, kneading them and placing kisses all over. My back arched as he took a hardened nipple in his mouth and sucked at it.

I held onto his arms, feeling the tautness of his muscles underneath my touch. I moaned when one of his hands travelled down my body and teased me at my entrance.

"Baby you are so wet. You really did miss me a lot, huh?" He smirked against my breast, his eyes dark and lustful. He placed kisses over my body, goosebumps appearing on my skin, making his way even further down.

I shuddered when he reached in between my thighs, his warm breath against my quivering folds. I let out a shaky breath when he looked at me, his dark eyes lined by his long lashes.

"Oh..." I moaned as he flicked his tongue over my swollen nub. I felt his fingers rubbing at my entrance before he slid one digit in and took my clit in his mouth.

I moaned out his name like a prayer, my hands reaching out and grasping at his head. His soft hair clutched in mine while he performed his ministrations on me.

The heat pooled at the bottom of my belly. He sucked and licked and flicked his tongue over me, another finger joining the first one. I was so immensely starved of his touch, that it did not even take long for me to come against his mouth. My thighs shuddered, my body felt hot and my panting breaths were the only thing audible in the room.

Chris lapped at my juices like it was nectar. He climbed back on top of me, not giving me a moment to relax. He licked his lips while lining his cock against my entrance.

The sound that escaped his lips when he entered the tip of his penis inside me was so erotic. My insides stretched to accommodate him, feeling him bury deep in me.

"Fuck, babe. You feel so tight." He said with a moan when he was fully within.

I finally felt one with him, joined at our bodies, competing each other. He leaned down, lifting my legs to wrap around his waist and kissed me deeply. I could still taste myself on his lips, feel him pulsating inside me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pulled out and trusted back inside.

My hips met his thrusts with groans excaping from our lips. The room suddenly was beginning to feel warm, our bodies beginning to sweat. He wound his arms around my waist while I encircled his neck, pulling him down for another kiss. The familiar knotting was beginning to deep within me as Chris hit my sweet spot with each thrust, like he had done a hundred times before.

The time away from each other must have been difficult for both of us, because like me, Chris didn't last long either. Together we came, him shuddering above me with a curse, filling me up. I buried my head in the crook of his neck, digging my nails in his skin, as his final thrusts pushed me over the edge once again.

In a heap of sweaty limbs, we both laid, spent and undone. Chris took deep labored breaths, his head on the pillow besides me. My heart was pounding in my chest as I felt Chris begin to go soft inside me.

"Hell of a reunion, wasn't it?" I managed to speak.

He climbed off of me and laid on his side. His breaths still coming in short but a content smile on his face.

"Told you I'll kiss you good morning." He pulled me over to him, my head resting against his chest. His heart was racing still, I could hear it thumping underneath. He rubbed my arm as his eyes began to close, tiredness getting to him. "Take a nap, babe. We'll need the energy for round two."

I smiled against his chest, hearing him snore and drifting into slumber.

[kaepop-trash]

hello hello! i am immediately dropping an ask after reading your message. ;; i really loved unintended consequences! like that is sooo 10/10! may i ask for a sequel please? i am willing to wait. please don't feel pressured and take your time!! write it whenever you are ready. i have subscribed to you so i could just keep myself updated if you have posted it!

So I might not be able to squeeze a full-fledged sequel in. But I had an idea I found interesting enough to pursue and it will go under the miscellaneous tag. I don't usually write domestic AUs but seemingly this one writes itself a little too effortlessly. At 4k words, this one is hardly a drabble at this point. So I'm hoping this satisfies you. If I get more asks, I'll keep writing more "snippets" like this.

I hope you like this.

_

It was Friday.

Friday meant spending the weekend with Johnny. Friday meant a slightly better passage of time compared to the weekdays.

Johnny would wake up early, coaxing her awake with him to spend the morning drinking a cup of coffee till it was cold and talking about the week. Every achievement and frustration shared as the other listened and acknowledged every little detail.

Weekends were always a welcome relief, but with Johnny they were like a haven.

_

"I've had a fuck all day." Johnny groaned as he walked into her room. It was his turn to come to her apartment this week.

He walked in, roughly tugging his tie like it suffocated him. When his eyes landed on the bed he stopped his struggle.

(Y/N) lay on her stomach on her bed, in a t-shirt that belonged to him once upon a time. Her thighs remained bare, the rhythmic kicking of her legs making her ass bounce.

Johnny thought he would lose his mind.

"What happened?" She mumbled. Scrolling through her phone, her voice was distracted.

Johnny swallowed, the air in his throat suddenly too thick. He forced himself to look away, "A client messed up some paperwork and I lost a lot of money because of it." His jaw clamped tight at the memory again.

She put her phone down, turning over and sitting up. "Shit." She grimaced, looking up at him with careful eyes.

"Exactly." He groaned, running a hand through his hair.

He looked back at her after a moment, eyes raking over her frame, "When did you steal that?" He pointed to her chest, at the navy blue t-shirt he actually really liked.

"At some point." She shrugged. "Want it back?" She batted her lashes at him.

Johnny smirked, aware that she asked knowing what his answer would be. "Keep it." He scoffed, giving in. "It looks better on you anyway." He laughed when her lips stretched into a smile.

Johnny sighed, his smile faltering again.

"Want to eat something?" She questioned.

Johnny turned back to her, her knees digging into the mattress as she looked at him with soft eyes. He gave her a slow nod.

"There's some pasta leftover in the fridge. Unless you want something else. We can always order." She turned back to pick up her phone.

Johnny groaned, the sound making her turn back to him, surprised. He slid closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He raised a meaningful brow at her, rewarded by the tantalizing red her cheeks flushed with.

He waited patiently; she gave him a nod, her eyes fluttering down. Johnny smirked, it was a shy mood today it seemed. Something he would enjoy like any other mood she had.

"Lie down." He said softly, releasing his hold on her hips. She pushed back up the mattress, reaching up just enough for her calves to hang over the edge.

She kept his eyes on him as he pulled his tie off over his head and while he took his jacket off. Slowly, he folded the sleeves of his shirt. She bit her lip at the sight, leaving Johnny to revel. He knew she liked it when he did that.

"You better not be wearing a bra under that, baby." He walked up closer.

She slowly shook her head and Johnny felt all the blood in his body rush to his dick.

He groaned, "You like that don't you? My shirt brushing over your naked tits." When she nodded he felt himself twitch. "Words." He demanded.

"Of course I do." It was a simple declaration.

It drove him wild.

Almost too slowly, Johnny sat down on his knees. This was his favourite thing, he had realised over the course of the year and some they had been together. Being on his knees in front of her was something he could do every living hour of every day and still not get enough of it. He loved taking his time enjoying the view.

But today, Johnny was pissed. He wanted to hear her moans, he wanted to make her come undone fast and dirty so he could relish in the idea of it.

He hooked his fingers under the band of her panty, pulling it off swiftly.

"Somebody's uncharacteristically eager today." Her soft voice contrasted the jest of her sentence.

"What was it last time?" He questioned, earning her eyes on him. "Fastest I made you cum." He clarified, tilting his head to catch her eyes.

She bit her lip, chewing on the flesh before releasing it with a soft flick. "Ten minutes." She informed him.

"We'll do seven today. Set the timer." He ordered. Quickly she reached for her phone, doing what she was told. Johnny bit back a smile.

"If you lose you're buying dinner. I want Sushi." She pointed her phone at him.

A laugh left his chest— a breathless release. "Wretched girl." He huffed. "Fine. You have a deal."

"Go." She put her phone down. Head falling back immediately as he plunged two fingers into her without missing a beat.

"Always so wet for me, princess. You are always spoiling me." He hummed.

He reached down to flick his tongue against her clit, earning a moan from her. "And forever eager." He spoke against her clit, making her hips buck up and her hand fly to his hair. She gripped his root tightly, he groaned. She stuttered at the sensation.

Johnny wasted no time picking up pace. His tongue lapped at her bundle of nerves while he added a third finger, his rhythm brutal.

"Fuck, Johnny." She screamed, a rare occurrence that filled Johnny with so much pride that he only increased his persistence. When he grazed his teeth against her clit her legs started shaking, a string of his name leaving her lips as her back arched. When her fist loosened on his scalp, he sat back and reached for her phone.

"Six minutes forty-eight seconds." He beamed. "You owe me sushi." He dropped the phone back onto the bed.

"After that I'll get you the most expensive one." She spoke between gasping for air. Johnny chuckled, wiping his chin on the back of his hand and standing up to get rid of his clothes.

"Ready for more?" He questioned.

"Am I ever, Mr. Suh." Her chest heaved.

Johnny gazed down at her body; tracing the sight of the t-shirt raised till her neck, her skin covered in sweat and a single breast out from no doubt being inside her own palm moments ago. Johnny bit his lip.

"Sit up." His voice dropped so impossibly low. She turned her head to look at him, still heaving from his previous efforts.

She sat up, knees digging into the mattress. He came closer, peeling his t-shirt off her while he kept his eyes glued on hers. The next moment, her arms were wrapped around his neck and her lips were on his.

He put his palm on her back to steady the both of them, slowly pushing her back down on her back onto the mattress and hovering over her.

She swirled her tongue in his mouth, enjoying taking control of the kiss while his hands roamed over her body. When he pinched her nipple she gasped in his mouth.

Johnny didn't miss the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth this time, softly pushing her tongue back so he could do his own exploring. She let him, focusing her hands in his hair instead and drawing her nails down the back of his neck— something she knew he liked a little too much.

The sound of her phone ringing made her yank her head back so fast that her neck audibly cracked. She massaged her the muscle with one hand while she used the other to push him back.

"Leave it." His voice was breathless.

"That's the ringtone I have for my mother." She groaned, equally breathless herself. "She hardly calls. It could be an emergency." She sighed.

Reluctantly, Johnny moved back. She reached over to grab her phone as he lay his head on a pillow.

"Hello?" She questioned once she put the phone to her ear. "Yeah?" She answered some question on the line. Johnny put his arms under his head, amusement dancing in his eyes as he heard her try to slow her breathing from his craved pace. "You what?" She sat up straight. A quizzical furrow formed on Johnny's brow. "No of course I don't mind. It's just so sudden. How long?" She turned back to Johnny, giving him an urgent look and gesturing to get out of bed. He raised a brow but complied. "Alright. See you." Her voice was too cheerful.

When she hung up she sprung out of bed herself. "Get dressed!" She looked around the floor frantically. "My mother is in a cab ten minutes away." She whined.

For a second Johnny was too dumbstruck to move. When she threw his shirt at his face, he recovered, picking up the rest of his clothes.

"What's happening?" He asked calmly, hoping his demeanor would calm her down as well.

"I don't know. Jesus! She's so outrageous!" (Y/N) groaned. "She called me to tell me that she's going to Texas to meet that aunt of mine." She paused, looking up as she slid her t-shirt back on. "You know the one who's always sending me pictures of pregnant girls my age on Facebook?"

Johnny nodded.

"Yeah. That bitch." She groaned. Johnny bit back a smile. "So she's flying to Austin and her layover happened to be New York and it's 12 hours long so she decided to surprise me, apparently." She sighed. "Fuck." She groaned. "I can't believe this is actually happening right now." She groaned the second time.

"Okay." Johnny said. "I should go take a shower." He nodded.

She stared at him, blinking like a lost lamb. "You want to stay?" She questioned.

"Of course." He furrowed his brows, "Are you hiding me from her or something?" He joked.

"No." She said too soon, pausing. "Kind of." She winced.

Johnny seemed taken aback.

"It's not what you think!" She walked over to him. "I'm not, like, embarrassed of you."

"That sounds reassuring, (Y/N)." He scoffed.

"Hear me out!" She urged, "My mother cannot know I'm having sex outside the bond of marriage. She doesn't even believe in casual dating." Johnny gave her a questioning look.

She sighed, "She's the 'satisfied with nothing but the best for her children' kind of mom. She means well but she will make you uncomfortable if she sees you at my house at eleven at night. She's very reserved and it comes off as rude at times." She warned, speaking too fast— clearly nervous.

Johnny shrugged, raising two fingers to tug on her nose. "I can handle it. She's your mother after all."

"Johnny." She urged.

"Do you not want me to meet your mother?" He questioned bluntly.

"You know that isn't it." She sighed.

"Then I can handle it." He assured her again.

_

She was still reeling over the moment her mother walked into her apartment, the look in Johnny's eyes when she turned and introduced him as her 'friend' and the look in her mother's eyes when she noted her daughter's hesitation before she blurted the vague label out. If either of them had any reservations, they did not voice it.

That was how she ended up sitting at her dining table with Johnny beside her and her mother opposite them. Her mother gave him occasional glances, but to her credit stayed quiet.

"So, Mrs. (Y/L/N). I've heard that you're a fan of travelling. (Y/N) is always talking about the places you visit."

"Yes. Since my children are all grown up now, I'm trying to live a little before heaven calls." She told him. Johnny was caught off-guard by the response, so he blinked and gave her a nod. (Y/N) put a hand on her forehead.

Her mother put her cutlery down on the table, earning both (Y/N) and Johnny's attention. "What do you do, young man?"

"If you're going to ask him personal questions at least use his name." (Y/N) groaned at her mother.

"I'm an investment banker." Johnny sounded unfazed.

Her mother lifted a towel to wipe her lip, "So I have you to blame for all the money I lost last year?"

"If you would have asked me, maybe you'd have me to thank for all the money you made." Johnny gave her a grin.

He acquired his first pleasant smile from her mother, "In that case you must be good at what you do. How much do you make?" She questioned with a tone that one would use to ask about the weather.

"Mom!" (Y/N) exasperated.

"What?" Her mother turned to her with a non-committal glance. "If you're telling your friend about my travels then I'm sure you are close enough for me to ask that." She clicked her tongue at her daughter. "Isn't that so, Johnny?" She turned to him.

Yet again, he remained calm. "I make enough, Mrs. (Y/L/N). Especially to take care of the people I intend to and save some for the future." He reached for his glass of water, putting a hand on her thigh under the table.

To add to the impossible situation, her heart and her core both reacted. She wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

She kept her eyes on her mother as Johnny began tracing his thumb in slow strokes across her thigh, pushing under her shorts just enough. Then she saw it, the click of approval in her mother's eyes that seemed to make her chest relax from a hold she didn't realise she had till the moment.

"Not that your daughter needs anybody to take care of her." He glanced towards her, humour in his eyes that felt misplaced till he squeezed her thigh. She bit down on her lip. He seemed pleased, "She's quite capable of taking care of herself, as she insists." He turned away from her glare, back to face her mother, "Speaking as a friend, of course." He smiled politely.

Her mother glanced over towards (Y/N) and the paranoid side in her— the one only reserved for one's parents— wondered if there was even the tiniest chance that her mother could see under the table.

"And how long have you known each other?" Her mother continued her interrogation.

"We met at Sooyoung's wedding." (Y/N) added, needing to distract herself from the warmth of Johnny's hand. "Johnny is Doyoung's friend."

Her mother nodded, adsorbing the knowledge. She turned back to Johnny, bringing her elbows to the table and threading her fingers together thoughtfully. "And how long do you intend to be my daughter's friend?" She said as blatantly as she could.

The question was as thinly veiled as she no doubt intended. Her mother was, after all, the person she learned to be good with words from.

Johnny's hand slipped between her thighs and this time she almost jumped in her chair. "For as long as she'll have me. Longer if I can convince her otherwise." His words made (Y/N) turn to him, emotions bubbling up to her eyes. He turned to her, his own eyes full of meaning. For a second she forgot her mother was sitting across from them.

Her mother, on the other hand, watched the interaction with a keen gaze.

Johnny's hand left her thigh to find her hand, squeezing it with that gentle yet firm touch that never failed to reassure her about anything.

She turned to face her mom, "I love him." She confessed softly. Her mother's eyes seemed to go wide for a moment before she sat back.

"Good. I was starting to think you wouldn't give me any grandchildren. You're my oldest! I want to see them before I die!" She scolded her.

(Y/N) blushed, "Mom!" She stuttered. "Don't say that, oh my god!" She groaned.

Johnny watched the exchange with amusement.

"At least you should have sense." Her mother turned to Johnny, "I'm not getting any younger." She shook her head, clicking her tongue.

"I will keep your criticism in mind, Mrs (Y/L/N)." He laughed.

"For fuck's sake." She turned her neck to Johnny, giving him an embarrassed frown.

"Don't curse (Y/N) (Y/L/N)! That isn't how I raised you." Her mother scolded her again, making her nod reluctantly.

"The mouth on this one, Mrs. (Y/L/N). Sometimes I'm surprised!" Johnny clicked his tongue with mock exasperation. She shoved his rib, making Johnny chuckle as he grabbed the table to not fall.

_

Johnny dutifully took the couch.

Despite her mother taking the guest room, he insisted.

(Y/N) lay awake on her bed, alternating between staring at the ceiling and scrolling through her emails. Her mother was set to leave at 6am. She lifted her phone to check the time: 4am. She groaned.

Getting out of bed was the only thing left to do after trying so long to fall asleep unsuccessfully. She padded her feet across the living room softly towards the kitchen. Johnny mumbled her name in his sleepy voice, making (Y/N) jump.

"Why aren't you asleep?" She whispered. When she turned to him, she had her answer. He was lying on his back, the end of his legs dangling over the armrest. She came closer, "I told you to sleep in bed." She sighed.

Johnny sat up, a small grin tugging at his lips. "Why are you awake?"

"Can't sleep."

"So you came to check up on me?" He tilted his head to look up at her.

"No. I was going to the kitchen because I finished my water." She rattled the container in her hand. It was the partial truth, she did intend to see what he was doing as well.

When Johnny pouted a breathy chuckle left her. She ran a hand through his messy hair affectionately, heart tugging when his eyes fluttered shut and he nuzzled into her touch.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?" She questioned. Johnny opened his eyes and nodded eagerly.

_

They sat in the kitchen with tired eyes, silently sipping their own cups. Once over, she picked them up to wash them up.

"I can't believe you actually got my mom to like you." She chuckled as she scrubbed the used cups. She heard him slip off his chair and walk up behind her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I'm a very likable person." He mumbled, leaving a soft kiss behind her ear.

She hummed, "That is true." His lips wrapped around the shell of her ear— an odd gesture that she had come to find arousing as he kept doing it over time. "You got Sooyoung and my mother to like you. Undoubtedly, two of the most difficult women to please in my life." She distracted herself, laughing at her own words as she placed the last cup in the rack and wiped her hands on a kitchen towel.

Johnny let her go only to hold her again after she turned around, giving her a teasing grin.

"I got you to like me." He kissed her forehead, "After that the rest were easy."

Her skeptical hum made him laugh, brushing his lips against her temple.

She pouted, "I'm a little bummed that Friday is gone. I only get to really see you on the weekends." Tracing a finger over his chest, she tried to swallow her disappointment. Reminding herself that her that she hadn't seen her mother in a while.

"What are you talking about? We meet for lunch at least twice a week." He laughed.

"You know what I mean." She huffed, looking up to give him a meaningful look.

Johnny smirked, "Do I?" He tightened his hold on her waist, lifting her to the counter. "What do you mean, (Y/N)?" He hummed, standing between her legs. He stroked his thumb inside her thigh slowly.

She gave him a shake of her head.

Then a thought came to her at his words, making her frown.

"Were you mad today?" She knit her brows together.

Johnny cocked his head to the side, confused by the sudden question. "Why would I be mad?" His hand, much to her disappointment, stilled.

She blinked, lips slowly parting. "I called you my friend." She winced, shaking her head slightly like the memory was something she wanted removed.

He thought about it for a moment. "Initially, yes. I think more than mad, I just felt out of depth."

"You don't like feeling out of depth." She looked at him carefully.

"Very true. But I've come to accept it as a given with you, even enjoy the feeling sometimes." He smiled, his thumb restarting it's previous ministrations.

Johnny paused, his eyes dancing with a sudden delight that slowly seeped into his lips.

"You told your mom you loved me." He grinned, his tone sing-song and dripping with taunt.

"I do love you."

"Good. I deserve it," He licked his lips, "As your best friend." He earned the smack on his shoulder. He winced playfully.

"My real best friends will do worse if they find out you said that." She snorted. "How would Mark feel?" She clicked her tongue in jest, resting her arms on his shoulders.

"Please Don't talk about Mark while I'm standing between your legs." He groaned, her head falling back to laugh at the distress on his face. He leaned closer to her with a soft smile, "I love when you laugh like that. Like you really don't want to but it's funny anyway." He kissed the corner of her lip.

"That's exactly how I feel everytime you try to be funny, Johnny." She giggled.

He kissed her chin. "Please. I'm hilarious and you know it." He spoke against her lips. She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"If you say so." She mumbled before he kissed her.

Like all kisses with Johnny, it got heated fast. His tongue tugged on hers and his hand reached into her t-shirt to fondle her breast. It gave her a sense of victory, knowing that at least in a small capacity, he was also dying to touch her.

The weekdays without him was one thing, work had the terrible quality of keeping one's mind off most things. But to spend the Friday evening left high-strung was unacceptable.

She hooked her finger into the band of his sweatpants, pulling him closer. Johnny left her lips to journey down her throat with sensual licks.

"It's early Saturday and I still haven't been inside you." He mumbled against her throat. A mewl left her lips, a wordless acknowledgement of his observation. "We need to do something about this 'just weekends' thing." Johnny groaned.

She was too focused on the sensation of his thumb rubbing circles on her nipple to pay attention, giving him an unfocused nod. He kissed up her jaw to her ear, nibbling on the cartilage.

"Are you even listening to me?" He whispered into her ear.

"Of course." She said too quickly.

Johnny chuckled, an unconvinced hum leaving his lips and tickling her neck. The nerves of that side, from her neck to her leg jittered at the sensation. He hummed again just to feel it under his palm on her waist.

The sound of a door creaking open made him push back from her. Both of them breathing ravenously.

Johnny turned away, running a hand through his hair. She looked up at the clock in the kitchen, the arms telling her that it was six in the morning. She bit her lip, getting off the counter.

When (Y/N)'s mother entered the kitchen, Johnny was washing his face at the sink.

"Good morning." He said with a pleasant smile, "Would you like some coffee?"

Kisass, she thought.

(Y/N) scoffed, "You make me coffee, I'll make her tea." She cradled her face in her palm.

"You're up early." Her mother looked between them.

Their eyes met for a second.

Johnny turned back to her mother in a beat, "We were planning on dropping you to the airport." He leaned against the counter, nonchalant.

"Oh you don't have to do that!" Her mother laughed.

"I want to." He gave her a convincing smile.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes.

Unintended Consequences

[unmanageable-day]

Can I Love?

CHAPTER 18

prev | masterlist | next  

Summary. Lee Y/N was the first love of one when he was a middle schooler. He never knew her name and he never saw her again. Several years later, he met her again …unfortunately under a disadvantaged circumstances.

wc/warning. 1125 words / i believe none, but feel free to call me out if there is something i should take down

TAGLIST. @boogyuu @samemagicpoint @anjiuniverse @lovingyu-04 @serenadesvt @naphthalene-ball @sensorivm @chaseyui @wonhaotrsh @jonashuji @skylions-den @niikipuff @renvibes @moonlit-willow [ hit me up if you’re interested to be tagged for the next update ♡ ]

~ previously when Chan was hanging out with Seungcheol

You noticed Mingyu and Seokmin suddenly being weird when suddenly they kept making excuses to go somewhere else, to the extent that they tried to prevent you from going home, when your house was literally five steps away. Mingyu started with saying that he wanted to take a look to the cat cafe, but Minghao effectively rejected the idea, saying the place was closed after 5 PM. Then Seokmin said you should buy instant ramen, sausage, and cheese and everything because he was craving. You snapped at him, “Don’t underestimate my bakery. If it’s just sausage and cheese, we have like tons in our storage.”

Losing their arguments and knowing it was inevitable to meet Seungcheol in the bakery with Chan, Mingyu and Seokmin decided to walk before you, trying to be your guards. You were simply thinking that those two were just being their silly selves, until you stepped into your bakery, and you knew just why. Your eyes met Chan; he happily waved his hand at you. The man sitting beside Chan drew a little smile when he looked at you.

“Y/N, you said you were tired. Let’s go upstairs,” Mingyu quickly said before anything.

“Right, you stayed awake all night studying for today’s quiz,” Minghao added.

“Chan, we’ll be in Y/N’s room. Mingyu and I will join you and hyung in a bit, okay?” Seokmin threw a friendly smile at your brother and Seungcheol before he excused himself to escort you to your room.

Despite being confused, Chan just nodded. He managed to ask if you needed anything, but Minghao answered him for you, saying everything was good.

Again, he was puzzled to see this weird dynamic between the four of you. Xu Minghao was always caring to both of you and your brother. Chan acknowledged that fact. But the mood was too odd to ignore. Is it perhaps because of Seungcheol hyung? he wondered. Was their date really a so so? Or did it end badly?

Chan turned back to Seungcheol, letting out a natural fake chuckle. “Sorry about that,” he said.

Seungcheol shook his head. “It’s okay.”

As promised, Mingyu and Seokmin soon joined Chan and Seungcheol in the bakery hall. Seokmin convinced your brother that you just needed me time, in which he and Mingyu voluntarily left you with Minghao, simply because Minghao was the most quiet one. Later on, Mingyu always dodged any questions from Seungcheol that were related to you. But eventually, it slipped from Seokmin’s mouth that all of you went to the same campus. Chan slightly widened his eyes at this new information.

“You didn’t know?” Mingyu asked, slightly confused as well to know that Chan really had very little idea about Seungcheol.

“Hyung never told me,” said Chan innocently, slightly eyeing the oldest one who gulped his cola, ignoring the burning sensation in his throat.

“I didn’t? My bad. I thought I did,” uttered Seungcheol nervously as he opened a new can of soda.

Seungcheol stayed late that day as Chan insisted that he should stay for dinner. Of course, he’d gladly agree if it means he could see you again. Meanwhile you planned to skip dinner if Seungcheol was still there. Or eating out with Minghao, Mingyu, and Seokmin would do too. Apparently your parents had prepared a feast with big portion of pretty much everything. You had no choice but to stay, unless the food waste would pile up.

“Noona, I didn’t know you and hyung know each other,” Chan began to break the ice. Although the meal taste great, the ambience was tense. You, Minghao, and Seungcheol barely talked. Mingyu and Seokmin also kept the conversation simple. Maybe Vernon and Seungkwan were right. He wasn’t sure if he should bring this up, but he just wanted to test the water.

You didn’t respond to him. You silently keep munching whatever Minghao gave to you in your plate.

Chan continued, “Because, when I asked Noona how the blind date was, she just said so-so. It’s probably weird to meet someone from the same uni, yeah? But it’s nice to know you guys are not totally strangers. What is your relationship?”

“Strictly strangers who happened to go to the same uni,” you briefly answered.

“Not even friends, or acquaintances?” Chan asked again.

“Friends?” Minghao chuckled in mocking manner. He continued, unaware of his raising tone when talking, “Chan, do you know what he did to your sister was hum—”

“AH!”  Exclaiming in panic, Seungcheol abruptly stood up. All eyes were on him, including the displeased look on Minghao’s face because the oldest interrupted him. He landed a nervous gaze at Mingyu and Seokmin, seeking for help but to no avail. “Humorless. I thought I’m a humorous person but apparently not,” he quickly added. Getting restless, his eyes were quivering and lost focus.

“He may not look like it but he’s actually very  protective of his sister. He may be smaller than you but he will fight  you.” This warning from Soonyoung was glued in his head.

First, he didn’t want to get beaten up. Second, he would need Chan’s support.

Chan paused for a while, trying to digest the whole scene before him. You, on the other hand, remained silent and unfazed.

“I’m full. You guys can continue eating.” You excused yourself to go upstairs. Of course, Minghao would follow after you.

“Those two get along very well. They have similar interests and share many  things in common,” Chan commented.

“Yeah, Mingyu and Seokmin too, right? The four of you are always seen together,” Seungcheol said, trying to validate that the relationship between you and him was pure platonic. This time, the 97z boys said nothing but just gave an ambiguous smile to the older guy. Then they decided to join you and Minghao in your room.

As they were left alone, Seungcheol encouraged himself to ask this. “Chan, what do you think about second date? There’s this jazz music concert. I think Y/N would like it.”

The younger drew a little smile but his expression was full of doubts. “I’m  not sure, Hyung. I don’t usually encourage her to go on a second date, especially if the first date was ‘so so’, so…” He shrugged. But he did emphasize on the so-so part.

Nodding understandingly, Seungcheol tried to maintain his smile. His confidence was already crumbling down inside. The mixed feelings were playing in his guts. I can’t lose like this.

“Oh, for my birthday party next week, I’m booking a restaurant instead of throwing a party in the house. I mean, I don’t want Noona to scold me afterwards.” Chan flashed him a bright smile. But that pretty smile somehow disturbed him. He was positive now Chan won’t take his side.

[httpswwwtbhkcom]

Do You Wanna Feel Safe Too?

[Oneshot/Imagine]

Pairing: Tenya Iida x Reader, Neito Monoma x Reader(Platonic)

[@httpswwwtbhkcom’s masterlist]

Summary: Iida was always jealous of you and Monoma, he always tries to keep him away from you as possible. He wanted your attention, he needs your affection. He needs to keep you away from those bad examples(Were not talking about his friends and family). He planned to kidnap you instead! On a beautiful bed in the basement. It was full with expensive things. He locked you away from the real world. But when you made a mistake on leaving or making him disappointed? You’ll have a punishment. And maybe try to comfort you after.

Warnings: some wrong grammars, mentions of kidnapping, possessive yandere Iida, mentions of killing, mentions of blood, cringe,

Genre: Some fluff, angst, yandere Iida 

Keys:

Y/n- your name,

A/n: This is supposed to be for his birthday and i was late, anyways, Happy late birthday Tenya Iida!

I’m not really good at Yandere things so i’m sorry!

Reader: Neutral

Edited: 29/08/2020

Made by:  ad astra on Weheartit! Click here to see the fanart!

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

He hated when you talk to Monoma so much. He knew that you and Monoma were friends before joining UA.

He kept distracting you with various questions even though he knew the answers. Iida never wanted you to be near to a bad example just as Monoma. 

“Good morning Y/n.” He greeted. You’re always the first one to have his greeting at the morning. It means your special to him. He wanted to have you so badly! But he knew he needs to be patient when he wants you to be with him forever. 

“Good morning Iida!” You smiled. Ah yes, your fresh smile. The thing that makes him soar up in the sky. He loves it. And your angelic voice, it was the source of his energy. Whenever he hears your voice, i bet he can run farther than anyone can. But when you compliment him? Oh i bet he can also jump higher than Miruko.

He will kill for you. Only if you knew that was true though. 

Yes, he is strict. But he resists shouting and scolding for whatever you’ve done. It sometimes made the others envy you. Sometimes, the dekusquad teases him for it. Todoroki asking him what love felt like. He answers with:

“It feels like you have a connection with them, even if they haven’t noticed it yet. It feels like you will kill anyone for them and only them.” 

Todoroki nodded at every word he says. Even though Todoroki didn’t like the killing part. Little did he know, Every part of whatever Iida said was true.

Iida saw you with Monoma chatting again, it made him furious. That smirk in his face. It feels like Monoma was mocking him. He went to you without thinking. 

“Hey Y/n, we need to go back to class. We might get late.” He softly scolded. You nodded and exchanges goodbye’s with Monoma before leaving. Iida gave him a dirty look before talking to you. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

All of the Class 1A students were hanging out in the mall until they saw a nearby villain attack. 

You used your quirk to help civilians retreat and go to safe place. While the others were trying to apprehend the villains. One of the villains saw you unarmed and unalerted, They blasted you with their quirk. You quickly noticed it and you tried to escape it in the last second, but instead of feeling pain, you felt a pair of strong of arms around you.

You looked at the hero who saved you. Your eyes widened when you saw Iida saved you. You hugged your hero “Thank you for saving me Iida! I almost died!” You felt his heart pace faster as he stiffened, so you putted your arms beside you instead. 

“O-oh, Your welcome Y/n.” He stuttered. Right after that, Heroes and the police finally arrived. Your classmates came to you, “Omg, Are you ok Y/n?!” Mina asked, checking if you have any injuries. “Yes, I’m fine Mina. Thanks to Iida.” You reassured. 

All of you were scolded and thanked for saving. Then went back to the dorm. It was worth it either way, if you watched them die, the villains would escape and the people nearby would get injured or maybe die. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You promised Iida that you would save him back. And you did.

When the hero heard there were a villain attack, They told all of you to be alerted and to save the civilians. Helping people is the #1 priority. 

You saw the heroes fighting and saving some people. You saw the hero, Manual. You checked around if you saw Iida or anybody else you knew. But all you saw was Heroes and none of your classmates. 

You told your leader that you were going to check the surroundings. They nodded and went back to saving people. 

You went deeper and deeper the place, and you saw Midoriya, Todoroki and Iida fighting a hero killer. 

You saved them and used your quirk to reprimand him. “Ugh, Get off me!” Stain yelled. You ignored his complaints as you four wait for the heroes to arrive.

Again, You all were scolded by the police department and the heroes. Iida sighed in relief as you were not hurt. Cause if you were, He’d be the one avenging for you and his brother. 

“Iida, Are you ok?” You worriedly asked. He slightly blushed at how you held his hand. “Y-yes. I’m fine Y/n.” He answered, looking at the two who was chatting.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Everyday, you started to chat with him more than Monoma. You were worried for Iida since he was the one more hurt. Well you think that he was the one who was more hurt.

And everyday, he fell more and more inlove with you. He wanted to have you all for himself. He thought of plans, killing everybody who comes to you? No, many responsibilities. Isolating you at his basement instead? Sure, but he has to live in his house again. It’s worth it. He has to keep you! He’ll have infinite love and affection from you! ‘I guess kidnapping my love will do.’ He murmured. 

He planned it smoothly. First, he’ll make the basement into a bedroom instead. Second, He’ll take you from the dorms while everyone was sleeping and slowly put you inside the basement and wait for you to leave, Last, affections!

Everything had got to plan, Everyone went to sleep faster than usual. Which helps Iida. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You woke up in an unfamiliar room. Everything looked, Expensive. 

“Good morning Love~” Iida cooed. You yelped at the voice. You went into a far distance and looked at the person who took you. “Iida?” You stuttered. “Yes, darling?” His eyes bore into you. You swore you saw hearts in his eyes. You looked at him scared, ‘What am i doing here? Why am i here?’ You asked yourself. 

“What am i doing here?!” You asked, staying in your place. He looked at you smirking. “Darling, I helped you.” He said coldly. Without thinking, you stood and ran to the door, trying to open it but failed. Behind you, you heard Iida laughed maniacally. Then you felt him behind you. You shivered at the contact when he hugged you. “Y/n, you can’t leave. I want to help you from those people! Their bad for you!” He explained. You jerked him away. “Your kidnapping me Iida, This is wrong!” You yelled. He only smirked at you. Before he left he warned:

“This wall is soundproof, so if your going to yell for help, No one will try and help you.” His voice full with venom. 

You went to the bed and cried yourself to sleep.

Few months had passed and Iida had visited you few hours a day. Craving for Affection. If you won’t give him any cuddles when he’s tired, he’ll be the big spoon and hug you instead.

“I’m back darling~” He notified you, opening the door. “I have a surprise for you.” And that made you look at him in a blink of an eye. He grinned at the action 

“Since you were a good pet, I thought that you should leave this room and sleep in my bedroom instead.” You frowned at the statement. Until you thought that you had a chance to escape! You quickly went to him and nodded, faking a smile. He pecked your lips and held your hand to refrain you from leaving him. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

The night was the same, cuddling him. 

You waited as he left. Then that’s your chance. The windows were closed. But the door was surprisingly open. You ran out the house. You took a deep breath, the place looks more beautiful than before. Than you run to an alleyway, Sadly, Iida saw you running out the house when he forgot to lock the door. He chased you and easily caught you. 

“Doll, i thought you can finally love me. But you clearly don’t..” Iida frowned. “I guess i’ll have to stay home today.” He sighed, harshly gripping your wrists while you sobbed.

 After some punishments, The bruises, cuts and many more gave you pain. Tears leaving your eyes as you cry at the pain. 

Instead of bandaging the injury he gave you, He just comforted you and hugged you. You tried to jerk him away from you but failed. You were too weak. You knew you can’t go outside and leave anymore. 

“If you weren’t bad today, I could’ve let you live upstairs. But your staying here until you realized your mistake.” Iida stood and went infront of the door. 

“Those people had corrupted you so badly! I should’ve done this sooner.” 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Bonus:

A few months before, Todoroki was the first one who got extremely worried about your sudden disappearance. Everyone thought you were sick, so they let it slide.

“Hey, where’s Y/n? We haven’t seen them for weeks.” He decided to speak up. The others became worried after what he said. 

“Y/n must be with her parents abroad. They dropped out school since their parents needed Y/n to help them in their business.” Iida lied. 

“What do you mean? We’ve been trying to contact them but they haven’t answered!” Uraraka raised her voice. 

“Y/n didn’t have time to tell all of you, but i forgot to update all of you. I deeply apologize.” He said, his voice  was cracking a bit but they haven’t noticed it yet. 

He went home smiling wickedly to look at his prized possession. 

[jcisthebestfightme]

BJYX Food Blog

Ahhhhhh I love food so much!!!! hahahaha So I decided to record down all the times food show how much they love each other. This is mostly just for me. Since this is a “food blog”, instead of “evidence” which you can find elsewhere in other people’s analysis posts, I will instead include yummy photos of food. Will continue to update this list. 

Disclaimer: All fanfiction. 

1) Pancake - I talked about this in detail here. In summary, dd is bragging about how “homey” he is that he can make pancake. The recipe uses butter, something only people that bake in China will have. Gg likes to bake cookies (even sugar-free one, haha gg is more detail-orientated and health conscious than me) and bread. Apparently gg also loves cheese and dd mentioned that his pancake has cheese.

2) Love on the Rocks or Love’s Water - This supper famous drink in China’s Starbucks is actually black currant juice + raspberry juice + black tea. You can make it easily at home (it’s not available in U.S. Starbucks). Because of BJYX, you can order it as “Love’s Water” directly at Starbucks in Chinese (Yes, Starbucks knows about them.) Why is it call Love’s Water? It’s red, the color of love while also sweet and sour. Also, it’s actually gg’s favorite drink at Starbucks. You can often seen him drinking it during the filming of the Untamed. What about dd? It’s been mention by gg that dd only drinks water. However, during Untamed filming, dd can also be seen drinking Love’s Water from Starbucks. Does love change a person’s preference in drinks?

3) Green tea - We’ve all seen the BTS where they share green tea from the same bottle, twice. However, what’s even more interesting is that dd kept the preference of drinking green tea even after filming. Fans have caught dd drinking green tea during ttxs taping and there are pictures of bottle of green tea in his van. He’s also mention liking green tea with dls on ttxs.

4) Hot pot

a. Soup - Gg used to say because he’s from Chongqing, he likes spicy hotpot. However, after 2018, he mentioned that he now like twin-sided pot (half spicy, half not). Is he sharing a pot with someone who doesn’t eat spicy food that much? In clips from early 2018, we see dd not being able to handle spicy food. However, in 2020, we see him ordering a completely spicy soup base (him being the only one out of the 4 people to do so). What changed for both of them?

b. Sauce - In Chongqing where gg is from, you eat hotpot with a spicy oil sauce. Gg used to say that was what he preferred. However, in an interview, he picked sesame sauce over the spicy oil sauce. He also mentions that he loves the sauce with sweet garlic. If you go back to old video of dd, he has always love sesame sauce with garlic. He also mentioned in ttysj earlier this year that he loves hot pot with sesame sauce with sweet garlic. However, in j5, we see him eating his hot pot with spicy oil sauce. What happened? Are they trying to become each other?

Edit - dd was asked recently why he changed from his sesame sauce to spicy oil sauce and he said “I learned it from a friend I met from filming.” And he said it’s because it makes the hot pot less spicy, and most important, the flavor suits him.

c. Dried yamakurage - Ngl, I’ve never heard of this vegetable before today. Many people from different parts of China was in the same boat. Google search told me that it’s a vegetable they like to add in hot pot in Chongqing. Dd mentioned in ttxs that he likes this vegetable. In j5, you can also find this vegetable on the table.

d. “Treasure in the palm” - What is that? Ya, I had no idea either until dd ordered it for his hotpot. (Many other Chinese audience on WB also has never heard of it.) Apparently it’s the ligament in the middle of a chicken’s claw. I did some Google research and it seems like it’s mostly eaten bbq style or stir fry. So I searched “掌中宝” + hotpot and got the result that it’s eaten in hotpot in....drumroll....Chongqing! (Yes, where gg is from.) So ya......

e. Cow stomach - Another thing dd ordered. This time, this is something dd has always like to eat and has said it since 2017. However, it’s gg that mentioned in an interview that he also like to eat this for his hot pot now. Previously, when asked what his favorite hot pot meat is, he said “beef.” Maybe he just suddenly change his mood?

I just found these amazing videos from this Youtube Channel about Szechuan (around the area gg is from) hotpot so check them out for more information.

5) Zongzi - Where gg is from (southern China), we’re use to eating savory Zongzi with meat, peanuts, eggs, etc inside. But where dd is from (northern China), they think zongzi should be sweet with red bean, etc.. During an interview when ask to pick between sweet vs savory zongzi, gg immediately picked savory. However, dd wavered and then picked savory at the end. 

6) Eggplant - Gg said that he eats anything except eggplant because he once threw up when he was younger eating eggplant and it left a trauma on him. Unfortunately for him, the prepared food during CQL had a lot of eggplant because it was in season where they were filming. The actor of LXC during a livestream also mentioned that gg doesn’t like to eat eggplant. Then he followed up by saying that dd loves to eat eggplant. But if you watch ttxs, none of the host ever mentions dd likes eggplant (they constantly mention that he loves cilantro, durian, snail rice noodles, etc.). Also in an episode when there was eggplant, dd didn’t actively try to eat some. So maybe during their filming time, someone doesn’t like to eat eggplant and gave theirs to another person, causing LXC’s confusion?

From my own opinion, I think gg is the type of person that values food a lot. You can see him craving certain food and be very picky about the type of food he likes to eat. He also knows how to cook well so his standard for good food is high. I think dd is the type of person that likes food but isn’t super picky of the type of food he eats, as long as it’s good, he’s happy. So he’s more likely to just enjoy the same food that gg likes because that will make both of them happy. I don’t think either of them purposefully change their food preference for each other but more that your food habit changes naturally when you spend a lot time with another person. 

7. Cough Drop

When watching Street Dancing, there was a clip of all the team leaders sitting down watching and dd pulled out a “candy.” The leader next to him asked him if he was eating candy and he pulled out a pack and shared it with others. He even reached over to make sure he shared his candy with everyone. It was such a cute moment and looked like elementary school children sharing snacks. It’s cute and that’s it, right?

Nope, bxg have to live up to the title of “Detective Conan/Sherlock Holmes”. People start digging through old pictures and found one where they saw the same brand “candy”, which was actually cough drops in gg’s back from several years back. The version dd was eating was a “peach flavor version” meant for children. What was interesting is that he ate the peach version himself but shared a different version with others. This was confirm by the company that made the cough drops. (CPN) It’s possible that he’s savoring the peach ones for himself because gg gave them to him specially.

So gg and dd have the same cough drop. That’s it, right? Nope, more Detective Conan popped out and found several videos of fan-meeting in Thailand when gg was eating a cough drop and dd was coughing. Then gg asked some assistant for the cough drop, yes the same exact brand, and then handed them to dd. You can also see dd have something in this mouth before he went on stage. This tells us that gg has definitely given dd this cough drop before.

But are we sure that the supply of cough drop dd has is from gg? Probably, because of what happen in XGDS. During XGDS, dd was eating a cough drop. Normally, other friends, like the people in street dancing will see that and say, “oh you’re eating a candy?” But when gg saw, he asked “does your throat hurt?” This means that gg knew that dd was eating a cough drop immediately. How would he know that? Unless he’s the one who gave it to him. (This story has more logic and evidence than papers I’ve read in Cell/Nature/Science.)

Fun fact - some fan bought it and said it taste terrible LOL It taste too sweet on the outside and taste like medicine on the inside (which it is technically herbal medicine.) So don’t recommend trying it.

[let-the-dream-begin]

In My Daughter’s Eyes Chapter 6: End of the Rope

Chapter 5

Read on AO3

Claire was supposed to be looking at charts on the computer in front of her, and she would, of course, right after she finished checking her phone for any messages from Mrs. Lickett.

“Beauchamp!”

Fuck.

“That’s the third time I’ve caught you on your phone. You trying to get fired on your first day?” 

Her supervisor, Doctor Moore, was the most Nurse Ratched type Claire had ever seen in real life: tyrannical and unforgiving. The only difference was the grating nasality of her thick Long Island accent. Claire opened her mouth to defend herself, for the third time, but Ratched cut her off.

“Plenty of other doctors have kids at home, Doctor Beauchamp. Do you see any of the rest of them with their heads buried in their phones like teenagers?”

Claire could feel the tips of her ears growing hot with rage, but she swallowed it down and answered as levelly as possible: “No, Doctor Moore.”

“Get going. Your team is waiting for you.”

Claire exhaled heavily as soon as the tight-faced woman bustled out of the room, clenching her teeth to avoid outwardly groaning.

“The Ratched already on your nerves?”

Claire practically jumped out of her skin. She turned in the swiveling chair to see a kind-faced black man about her age, perhaps a bit older, smiling at her. He was sitting at a computer as well, craning his neck around to look at her. His eyes were dark, but soft.

“Did you read my bloody mind?” Claire stammered, still slightly alarmed.

He gave a short, barking laugh. “Seems I did. Everyone calls her that. Not to her face, mind you.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” Claire’s eyes widened at the thought of doing so.

“I’m Joe, Joe Abernathy.” He stood and crossed the room to shake her hand.

“Claire Beauchamp,” Claire returned, taking his hand.

He chuckled as he returned his hand to his side.

“What?” Claire said, face scrunching in suspicion.

“Just thinking about you asking if I read your bloody mind,” he said, flashing his teeth in a wide grin. “I heard you were English, but to hear it is another thing.”

Claire rolled her eyes, though she couldn't suppress her own smile as she turned back to the computer to complete her given task.

“Kids at home, huh?” His tone was sympathetic, having heard Doctor Moore’s reaming out of Claire.

“Just one,” Claire said. “I’m quite aware there are other parents here,” she continued hotly, though her anger was not directed at the man standing before her. “But I’d like to know how many of them are single parents of a daughter with special needs.”

Joe nodded in quiet understanding. “That must be tough, leaving her all day.”

Claire nodded, fighting the urge to check her phone again. “I’ve never left her alone with a babysitter this long. When I was in school I was still married, so she wasn’t ever alone for too long even though her father was a professor. After the move and the new schedules…I’m just worried.” All the while, Claire kept her eyes on the screen, scanning over charts and making mental notes. “The woman’s a marvel; I wouldn’t have hired her if she wasn’t. I just can’t help it. She’s nonverbal, my daughter. Autism.”

“Ah.” Joe nodded. “Gotcha.”

“So I just keep waiting for a call that she’s having a meltdown and that even the all-knowing, licensed professional can’t calm her down because she can’t tell her what’s wrong.” Claire shook her head, sighing. “It’s silly, I know.”

“Nah, not at all.” Joe shrugged, keeping his tone casual, but his eyes still shone with sympathy.

“Christ, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to unload my whole life story on you.”

“Don’t worry about it. I get it. I’ve never personally known anyone with autism, but you see it come in and out of the hospital often enough. It’s scary as hell when there’s something wrong and they can’t tell you, even the verbal ones sometimes.”

“Right.”

“I didn’t mean to make you worry more,” he said quickly. “I’m sure everything is just fine. All I’m saying is I get why you’re worried. And Ratched sure as hell doesn’t. I’d like to tell her to kiss my ass.”

Claire chuckled through her nose, taking note of one more thing on the computer before turning to smile up at him.

“Thanks, Doctor Abernathy.”

“Please, none of that in private.” He waved her off. “Just Joe when there are no patients.”

“Alright, then.” Claire logged off the computer and gathered her things. “Thanks, Joe.”

“No problem. Good luck out there, Lady Jane.”

She paused in the doorway. “What was that?”

He grinned. “One of the other residents called you that. Said your accent sounds like you just had tea with the queen.” He held up his hands, pantomiming holding a teacup and saucer, sticking his pinky out.

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ.” Claire laughed, rolling her eyes as she wrenched the door open.

“Toodle-pip, my lady!” She heard him call behind her.

Christ, was she doomed to have nicknames thrown at her reminding her of her Englishness for all eternity?

Her heart warmed at the thought of that soft Scottish burr saying Sassenach, and more laughter bubbled in her chest at the thought of her newest title.

She supposed she didn’t mind.

——

Claire was dead on her feet by the time eight o’clock rolled around. She briefly glanced back at the hospital in her rear-view mirror as she pulled away, and despite how her head and feet throbbed, she was thrilled at the prospect of every day being like this one.

When she’d done her research on specialities back in the days before med school, she’d read of the unpredictability of Emergency Medicine, of never knowing what kinds of emergencies would burst through the doors at any given moment. The prospect had thrilled her then, and experiencing it first-hand now was even more thrilling. Today alone, she’d saved a man’s finger after a cooking knife incident, put a shoulder back in place, stopped a head wound from bleeding long enough to see the patient into a successful surgery, and saved a pregnant woman and the baby after trauma-induced labor from a car accident.

It was quite a heady feeling.

Despite the thrill, however, there was nothing Claire craved more than the sight of her little girl’s face, the sound of her happy humming to see that Mummy was home.

The whole day had gone by without a hitch, unless Mrs. Lickett was hiding something from her. The only updates she’d gotten were positive ones, prompted by Claire’s frantic “is everything ok??” texts.

Claire had washed up and changed out of her scrubs at the hospital so that she could spend whatever little time was left before Faith’s bedtime with her on the couch, and then she could fully shower and decompress once Faith was asleep.

Claire turned the key in the lock and pushed open the door, but before she could take a single step into the living room, a little body was plastered against her legs, wrapping itself tightly around her.

“Hello, baby!” Claire cried out joyously as a buzz of humming filled her ears. “Oh, Mummy missed you so much!” She pried her daughter off her legs and scooped her into her arms, dropping her bag on the porch. Claire held her close, kissing her cheek.

Faith nuzzled her face into Claire’s, rubbing her mother’s cheeks as their foreheads rested together.

“Hello love,” Claire whispered, rocking her gently in the doorway. “I missed you, too, baby. Yes, hello.”

Claire gradually moved them into the apartment, kicking her bag inside and nudging the door shut with her knee.

“Hello, Mrs. Lickett,” Claire said, struggling to meet her eye around Faith’s pawing of her face.

The older woman was smiling warmly. “Hello, Miss Beauchamp.”

“Everything was alright today, then?”

“Sure was,” Mrs. Lickett said. “Faith was a very good girl, right Faith?”

“Is that right, lovie? Were you a good girl for Mrs. Lickett?” Claire shifted her onto one hip and bounced her, eliciting a few giggles. A glance at the telly told her that Finding Nemo was nearing its end; Mrs. Lickett had paused it upon Claire’s arrival.

“How was the first day at the hospital?” Mrs. Lickett said, gathering her things.

“It was…a lot. But good, very good.” Claire crashed on the couch with Faith, trying to settle her and failing. Faith very firmly insisted on remaining in Claire’s lap. “I did miss her very much, though. It’s been a while since I’ve been away from her for so long.” She wrapped her arms around her and pressed a tender kiss to the crown of her head.

“I understand. I could tell she missed you, too, but I kept her pretty busy.”

“I appreciate that.”

“We started some basic signs today,” Mrs. Lickett beamed. “Might be a while before it registers, but at least she knows now. The more you start using them around her, the better.”

“Right.” Claire nodded. “I’ve been watching those videos you sent me every night.”

“That’s good.”

Faith made a rather indignant noise, pointing toward the telly.

“Somebody wants to get back to her movie,” Mrs. Lickett said.

“Right.” Claire forced a smile. She wanted to stop her from leaving, to sit down at the table and spend the entire night talking about every minute of the entire day, every little accomplishment, everything Faith was learning. But she supposed if she wanted that much involvement, she’d be home with them herself instead of pursuing a career as a full-time physician.

Jesus, Beauchamp. You sound like Frank.

Shuddering at the thought, Claire adjusted Faith so she could watch Mrs. Lickett go. “I’d see you out, but I’m a bit pinned down at the moment.” She gestured with her head to Faith, sitting in her lap and locking her grip on Claire’s arms around her.

“No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Say goodnight, Faith,” Claire said, releasing an arm so she could wave to the woman. Faith mimicked her, waving emphatically as Mrs. Lickett shut the door behind her. The second she was gone, Faith groaned again at the telly, and Claire smiled.

“Alright, be patient.” Claire reached for the remote on the coffee table. “I’m quite eager to see if Nemo escapes to the ocean, as well.”

Claire, of course, had the movie memorized, along with the rest of the DVDs in their vast collection. Perhaps it was Faith rubbing off on her, but she didn’t think she’d ever tire of watching them over and over again, especially not if it meant she would always get to spend this time cradling her little girl.

When the movie ended about fifteen minutes later, Faith slipped out of Claire’s lap and waited expectantly by the DVD player. Normally, Faith liked to listen to the music during the ending credits, so Claire didn’t make any moves to take the disc out yet. Only when Faith grunted and started tugging on Claire’s hand did she get the message.

“No music tonight, darling?” she said, puzzled, as she removed the disc and handed the box to Faith to file away. She was buzzing with excitement. Something was up, and Claire was none the wiser. The very second the DVD was away, Faith bolted into her bedroom, leaving Claire bewildered. She’d only just started to get up when Faith returned, holding a pile of colorful paper in her hands.

“What’s this, now?” Claire’s face lit up at the sight of Faith’s toothy grin, holding up the construction paper. Claire could see they were cut into the shape of little fish, and they were plastered with glitter, pompoms, google-eyes, and marker.

“Did you make these, Faith? Did you make these little fishies?” Faith hummed loudly and jumped up and down. “Oh, they’re marvelous, darling! You’re quite the little artist!”

Claire perused every single colorful fish, and she made a note to thank Mrs. Lickett. Arts and crafts were something Claire had never been into as a child herself, and something she didn’t have the time or the creative mind to think of. It was obvious now that Faith adored creating, and Claire wanted to smack herself upside the head for not thinking of it sooner. God bless that Mrs. Lickett.

“No wonder we watched Nemo tonight, hm? Are these Nemo’s little friends, then?” Claire held up a bright pink paper fish and swam it around in the air, much to Faith’s delight. Faith joined in the little game, and though Claire knew that bedtime was rapidly approaching — for both of them — she couldn’t bring herself to stop.

After a few minutes, Claire led Faith into the kitchen so they could use magnets to put the fish on the fridge. Claire let her arrange them to her heart’s content, only leading her into the bathroom when she was satisfied.

Teeth brushed, pajamas donned, Faith tucked in, and nightlight on, Claire finally allowed herself to fully feel the exhaustion of her day. The adrenaline of seeing Faith had kept her wide awake on the drive home, and then actually being with her had chased away any thoughts of sleepiness. Now, she barely had the energy to prepare a shower, and she very well almost crashed into bed, fully dressed. It was sheer willpower that finally got her back into the bathroom. This reminded her that tomorrow was bath night for Faith, and she sent up a brief prayer that she would cooperate for Mrs. Lickett. She’d considered waiting until she got home and just taking her into the shower with her, but that would have interrupted the movie, and God forbid that should happen. But if she’d waited until the movie was over, it would have been too late, and the routine would be disrupted. No, it had to be Mrs. Lickett.

Washed and dressed for bed, Claire was wide awake, despite how weariness was etched into every muscle and bone in her body. She could not stop thinking about all of the silly little things that could go wrong while she was occupied at the hospital, of all the possible triggers for a meltdown that she would not be able to stop. No matter how well today had gone, no matter how wonderful Mrs. Lickett was, she’d never stop worrying. Maybe not never, but it would certainly be a long time. At some point in her fevered, internal ramblings, Claire teetered into oblivion, grateful for whatever sleep she was lucky enough to get before her alarm screamed again.

——

Claire drove home the following Friday, her knuckles white on the steering wheel and her vision blurred with tears. She’d been so damn grateful to clock out at four o’clock, and she’d barely made it out of the locker room without falling apart in front of Joe.

She lost a patient for the first time today. Paul Castano, forty-seven, much too young for the heart attack that killed him.

Claire had been beside herself, and Joe had soothed her, told her there was nothing she could have done.

“Go home and hug your daughter, Lady Jane,” he’d said. “Enjoy the horses. You need it as much as she does right now.”

And, Christ, did she.

Claire hugged Faith just a little too hard for the slightest bit too long when she got home after nearly bursting into tears at Faith’s joy to see her. Faith did not tolerate being held as such for very long, and she squirmed out of Claire’s grasp. Today, not only was Faith happy to see her mother, she was excited: she knew it was horse therapy day.

Seeing Faith so happy to see her and so excited to get to the stables was a welcome distraction from the anguish Claire was feeling. The drive over to the stables was calming as well, though Claire was now paranoid about the change in appointment times. Toni hadn’t called her at all, so she had no reason to believe that the switch hadn’t gone over well. She supposed after the day she’d had, she’d be prone to overthinking just about anything.

Upon arrival, she calmed considerably at seeing Faith’s exuberance, and even laughed when she began tugging on her hand, willing them to get inside faster.

Leave it to you to get me laughing on the worst of days, Faith.

The door to the visitor’s center opened, and Faith began humming loudly.

“There they are, the Beauchamp girls!” Toni greeted warmly.

“Hello, Toni. Say hello to Miss Toni, Faith.”

“Hello, Faith!” Toni called as Faith waved timidly.

Erica was standing by the counter, and she crouched down to greet Faith. “Hello, Princess. I’m so happy to see you again!”

Faith smiled shyly and hid half of her little body behind her mother’s legs.

“I’m gonna take you guys out to the stable today, get her started with the hellos and leading her to the riding hall.” Erica stood up to address Claire. “Jamie will join us when we get there.”

“Alright,” Claire said, exhaling deeply. “Shall we?”

——

Joe had been right. Claire needed that hour at the stables just as much as Faith had. As they were driving home, Claire felt something resembling peace settle in her heart. Faith was humming happily, kicking her legs, waving the newest Minion Happy Meal toy in the air.

She did very well again today. She was gentle with Pippi, she didn’t protest about the helmet, she was attentive to both Erica and Jamie. Claire kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something to go terribly wrong, but it just never did. Not at the stables, at least.

They arrived home, Faith zipping up the stairs to the front door as usual. Claire was grateful to get to watch an entire movie with Faith tonight, to decompress, to hold her little girl and be soothed by her oblivious, youthful happiness. When they passed through the front door, Claire dumped the contents of her arms onto the couch as usual and started toward the kitchen, but Faith did not follow. 

“Faithie, come on! Don’t you want your chicken?”

Faith didn’t seem to hear her. She lifted Claire’s purse and looked underneath, and then let out a groan.

“What’s the matter darling?”

Faith made a beeline for the front door, and Claire sprinted to lock it, having forgotten to do so upon arriving home.

“No, no, no,” she quickly blocked Faith’s exit. “What are you doing, Faith? What’s wrong?”

Faith began whining and pawing at Claire, hitting her thighs.

“Do not hit, Faith.” Claire crouched down and grabbed her wrists. “What is wrong? Hm? Hungry? Tired? Pain?” She did the signs that she’d learned from the videos Mrs. Lickett had sent. “Can you sign for Mummy? What’s wrong?”

Of course, she couldn’t. It was much too soon for Faith to be carrying out conversation; she’d only just learned any signs at all.

Faith suddenly began wailing.

“Faith, baby, it’s alright, I’m here…” She wrapped her in her arms, but it only lasted for a moment. Faith clawed her way out and began pounding on the door. 

What could possibly be wrong? What was she looking for on the couch…?

Then it dawned on her.

Horsie.

She hadn’t checked to see if Faith was holding the stuffed horse before they left the stables.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

“Oh, darling, it’s alright!” She stroked her head and tried cupping her cheeks. “Can you look at my eyes, Faith? Faith…it’s alright. We’ll get Horsie back next week. He’ll be alright.”

She was inconsolable.

Claire exhaled heavily and stood up to retrieve the Happy Meal from the coffee table.

“Aren’t you hungry, darling? McDonald’s! Your favorite!” She held the box in front of Faith’s eyes. “Come on, lovie, let’s go eat.”

She reached to grab her hand, but Faith shrieked and pulled back, apparently having no intention of eating a thing until Horsie was returned. She’d be quite hungry by next Friday.

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ…” Claire threw the Happy Meal back on the coffee table and ran a hand through her hair.

She needs to eat dinner. I have to make this stop. There has to be something…

“Do you want to watch a movie, lovie? How about Frozen?”

Claire scrambled to get the DVD in, holding her breath until the movie started, praying that she’d be drawn to the screen and sit down to watch quietly, and then she could gradually coax her to eat on the couch.

But she just continued wailing.

Claire knew full well once a meltdown was in motion it had to run its course. And this particular meltdown would not run its course until the missing object in question was found.

But she can’t not eat, she can’t not sleep…

Claire didn’t realize she started crying until it was too late.

It was just too much. She’d held a man’s hand today while he died before her eyes, and then hugged his inconsolable wife while she came to terms with having to tell her children their father wasn’t coming home. And then Claire had come home and sought comfort in her own child, and she’d gotten a bit, but of course it didn’t last long.

She knew by the time she drove back, the stable would be closed, so she could not go and pick it up. She tried calling the stable, but no one answered. Apparently, everyone had already gone home.

Faith gave a particularly loud shriek, and Claire felt all her nerves go shot one by one. Hands trembling she scrolled through her phone for something, anything.

Jamie.

Toni had provided her the stable number, her own number, and Jamie’s number in case the main phone was busy. He’d mentioned that he and the other therapists took turns staying after closing to see to the horses. She threw up a quick prayer before clicking on his contact to start a phone call. Even if he wasn’t the one that had stayed today, perhaps he could tell her who had and give her their number?

As the line rang, she felt surges of panic go through her. Was this even appropriate? To be contacting his personal cell number for something that wasn’t really an emergency?

Faith started pounding on the front door again, screaming her head off all the while.

Claire suddenly didn’t given a fuck about what was appropriate.

——

Jamie was sitting at his kitchen table, enjoying the stir fry he’d made for himself and his usual glass of whisky. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he made a note to check his texts later, but then it kept buzzing. Somebody was calling him.

Curious, he pulled out his phone and saw a number he didn’t recognize.

“Bloody telemarketers,” was his first thought, but the area code was local. Eyes narrowing in curiosity, he swiped up to accept the call, setting his fork down.

"Hallo? Who's this?"

"Uh...hi, Jamie. It's Claire. Claire Beauchamp. From the stables.”

Jamie felt like he’d had the wind knocked out of him.

"Oh...Oh! Uh, hello, Claire. What's uh...what's going on?"

Someone on the other end shrieked, and his stomach lurched.

"Is that Faith? Is she alright?"

"Yes, she's perfectly fine. Physically, at least. She left her horse at the stable, the stuffed one. She's absolutely beside herself and she won't stop crying. Nothing is calming her down, none of her other toys, not putting on a movie or music, not even food.”

Jamie felt his chest tighten. Her voice sounded strained, and she seemed completely frazzled. The second he’d laid eyes on her at the stable today he could tell that something was wrong. It wasn’t the usual sadness he saw in her eyes, it was something different, something visceral. Whatever was happening now was certainly not helping.

“She won't eat, and I know she won't sleep either. I called you because no one was picking up at the stable and I was hoping you'd still be there but just not near the phone?"

"Yeah, I'm still here. Just in the stable. Canna hear the phone," he answered without thinking. What the damned hell are ye doing, lad?

"Oh, thank Christ. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"No," he said quickly. "I'll, uh, I'll bring it to ye."

"What...?"

"Wouldna do fer ye to be drivin' wi' Faith as she is now." Though Jamie was making things up to cover the fact that he was already home, he wasn't entirely wrong. Even if he was at the stable, he wouldn't feel comfortable with Claire driving twenty minutes with a screaming bairn. "Wouldna be safe.”

"But...it's...are you sure...? You wouldn't get in trouble?"

"Nah. I'm sure other therapists have done the same fer some o' their kids." 

Keep digging, James.

"But you haven't done it before?"

"No."

"But others have?"

"Aye." Liar.

"Alright...as long as you're sure it's not inappropriate."

"Only inappropriate if we make it so, Sassenach."

Why the bloody fuck did I say that?

Claire cleared her throat. “Right. So…you’ve got my address from Faith’s file?”

“Aye.”

“So...twenty minutes? Half hour?"

"Aye. Just about."

Idiot. Bloody feckin’ idiot.

"Alright. See you soon."

"Bye, then."

Jamie hung up, threw his phone on the table and slapped an exasperated hand over his face.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! What is wrong wi’ ye?”

[nihyunluvskookie]

I’m missing you //

Pairing: Bang Chan x female reader

Genre: Fluff and maybe a bit of angst

Warnings: No warnings <3

Word count: 2K

Tags: @stayhavens

A/N: This is my first time taking part in a writing event, hopefully this is not boring

{04:45 pm}

I tried to focus, on making new music beats; since I decided to complete it by tomorrow, I have to do this because I know if I don’t then I will miss him like crazy and my overthinking will kill me. While making music, I was occupied by Chan’s thoughts

 {6 days ago}

08:01 pm

I opened the door and saw Chan standing, he was holding rose bouquet. “this is for you” he gave it to me, I took it and hugged him tight, he lifted me up, and brought me inside. “I missed you so much, so so much that I my mind couldn’t stop thinking about you.” I told him

He put me down and we settled on the couch, I looked at him, he looked adorable. He suddenly pinched my cheeks, “Awwww I missed you too baby”

 “Chan I wanted to ask you something” he nodded “You didn’t forget about our date right? I wanted to take you out… I just… wanted to spend time with you… you told me you’re free” he looked at me with his loving eyes.

“How can I forget Y/N? It’s been three years we are dating but till now we couldn’t spend our Valentine's Day because of my schedules and this time I got chance and how am I supposed to forget? Of course, I remember. I can’t wait” and pecked me on my lips, I looked at him, he leaned closer and kissed me. My hands were securely wrapped on his neck, he pulled me closer and my breath hitched but he didn’t stop kissing me. We met after two weeks and he is on a break now, it’s very difficult to meet him because of his schedules; and I missed his touch, I missed him.

He let me go after he was out of breath; our breathing was uneven. He was about to kiss me again, but I stopped him and he pouted; I gave him a peck since he was cute.

“Wanna go out for dinner?” he asked me and I nodded,

“Let me go and get changed, give me 10 minutes” I told him and went back to my room.

I got changed into peach colour dress and wore black cardigan, applied very light make up. Took my sling bag and went downstairs, Chan was playing with his phone.

“Baby” I called him.

“huh?” his eyes diverted towards me. I walked towards him and he was coming towards me, soon he was standing infront of me. He pulled me closer by my waist; he was leaning to kiss me again, “Not now, or else we might get late Chan. Let’s go” he pouted again and his hands left my waist and held my hands.

“As you wish madam” he said cutely and I smiled at him.

I locked my house, and we went towards his car, I sat inside. He got seated and was about to start driving but his phone started ringing, it was Hyunjin. I don’t know why but he was staring at the caller ID for too long instead of picking it up, “Chan, Hyunjin is calling pick it up” I told him and he snapped out from his thoughts. “Huh? Huh hmm” he said and was about to pick up the call ended. Hyunjin called again, he picked it up.

“Something happened? Jinnie?”

……………….

“Now?”

………………

“Okay, I am coming” he looked at me while talking.

“Yes, I am going there straightaway, don’t worry. It won’t take long for me to reach. Bye” I had a hunch that he is going back to his company.

“I’m sorry.” Chan looked down, I didn’t want to make me feel bad or apologetic, “It’s okay Chan, go and we can meet later.”

“I’m really so-

I cut him off by pecking his lips, being with Chan for 3 years; I know him how he always feels sorry for me when our plans get cancelled but I always understand him because his work is important and dating an idol isn’t easy, I trust him with everything and I don’t want to make his life harder; I am here for him as his support and love; I will never ever come between his work.

“Now go and let me know later, okay? Take care” he nodded and I got off his car and waved at him. I saw his car going and I went back home; I changed into comfy clothes and cooked something for myself, I wondered if he ate something or not. I miss him.

 {1:00 am}

 I was battling with myself should I text him or not, I wanted to ask him if he ate or not but I didn’t want to bother him. I was about to text him and a text popped up from him.

‘Y/N but I am going to Australia for work, I am on the way to airport right now. I really wanted to spend my whole week with you but I am sorry, I am really sorry. Sometimes I wish I could love you more than you love me.’ I closed his text and without thinking twice I grabbed my jacket, phone, car keys and wallet. I went running downstairs. My head couldn’t think straight, he was leaving and he doesn’t know when he will come back. He is on his way to airport right now and how am I supposed to stay calm knowing that?

I was driving my car, my tears started falling, I don’t know why it started hurting me a lot. I know he was feeling sorry but I can’t leave him like this. I had no idea then when did he left his dorm and I had no idea when will he be reaching airport and when is his flight. I tried calling him but being Chan, he won’t pick up. I was going crazy, how can he leave like this without a goodbye,

“Chan, Chan, CHAN, are you thinking you’ll leave me without a goodbye right now? I am not letting that happen when you always inform me about your schedules and always tell me to wait so why now? I am not letting that happen” I was talking to myself and crying. It took me 40 minutes to reach airport and I had no idea about him. I wanted to call everyone else but I had no guts inside myself to talk to anyone. I parked my car and went inside, I was running and searching for him. I tried calling him again, but he didn’t pick up. I went towards the “check in” area with hope, I was running and my eyes were searching him. I went around the airport for good 15 minutes, I tried calling him again, “Chan pick up, Chan please, uh please pick up” I was murmuring.

“Y/N”

“Chan” I broke down, I missed his voice.

“Y/N” I looked back and saw him standing. Without thinking twice I went and hugged him tight. “Y/N don’t cry” his words made me cry more, for some unknown reason I didn’t wanted to let go of his warmth right now, everytime he went out of country, I felt sad but this time I don’t know why I felt worst. I wanted to hug him because I was sad.

“baby, I am here. Don’t cry.” I looked at him.

“I’m so-

“Stop saying sorry, it’s not your fault. I missed you and how can you leave without a goodbye. How can you? Tell me” I started crying again.

“I felt sorry, I know how much you wanted to spend these days with me but because of my schedules-

“Chan don’t be sorry, I am proud of you. Schedules can’t be helped and I can only wish you all the best and take care of yourself. And it’s okay, and don’t feel sorry, ok? It’s not your fault and I love you” he wiped my tears away.

He hugged me, “I love you too and thankyou for being so supportive and understanding me always”

I looked at him and smiled.

“Hyung, we need to go and do our check in right now, others are waiting.” I heard Jisung say, he came towards us.

“Y/N, you’re here?” he looked confused but understood. “This time too, Chan hyung is going with us, don’t worry we will try to complete our work and will try to be back as soon as possible. And don’t cry too much for him, do you know how sad he was while informing you and he kept ignoring your calls because he didn’t want to make you sad and it was Hyunjin who saw you and told him to find you.”

“Yah, why are you telling her everything like this- Stop Jisung” Chan shut him up.

“Chan, don’t be sad and I am really okay. Just be ok and take care of yourself. And Jisung take care of yourself and be safe.” I let him go, my heart wanted to cry out again but I stopped myself and held my emotions from an outburst.

“Chan go, it’s time. And have a safe flight, I love you” I told him. He pecked my lips, “Love you too and don’t miss me too much” I waved at him. He was smiling and how could I cry. I turned back as soon as he was out of my sight and my tears started falling.

 {Present}

{06:00 pm}

I sighed and kept my headphones on the table. I wanted to make this song for Chan and wanted to give him today as a gift. I miss him again. We talked 4 days ago and till now there’s no update of him. I miss him and I really want to meet him, it’s not even possible. He’s not here.

My phone started ringing, I went to pick up in a hope it can be Chan. I looked at the caller id it’s my bestfriend.

“Tina”

‘Y/N you’re free right now?” she asked

“Yes I am”

‘Let’s go out for dinner and have some fun.’

“Huh? Now? Suddenly?” I asked. I wanted to turn her offer down but then I thought it’s better to go out somewhere rather than staying at home and missing Chan and crying over him.

“I am coming, send me the address” I got excited

‘Wear something pretty, I’ll be waiting there. Be there in 30 minutes. Bye’ she hung up.

I went back to my room and started choosing one outfit. Something told me to wear white and red. I took out white dress and red sweater. I put on light makeup and didn’t forget to wear my favorite pendant and the couple ring with Chan. Somewhere deep in my heart, it told me to wear the ring because it’s a symbol that I am taken by him. I took my sling bag, my car keys, wallet and my phone and went downstairs. I wore white heels and went out.

 I started driving to the address, Tina texted me. It took 20 minutes to reach there. I went there, it was a beautiful place. I looked at the view and it was decorated with red roses and different flowers, because it’s 14th February.

I started missing Chan, I wanted to meet him and started craving for his warmth. I went inside and sat on the vacant table. I called Tina but she didn’t pick up my call. I was waiting for her and then something caught my eyes. I was looking for Tina but I saw Chan coming with a bouquet of red roses; I thought I am day dreaming and I stood up because my eyes can always betray me. I could hear his footsteps and he was getting closer and closer.

“Happy Valentine’s Day baby”

He said, I blinked few times, my eyes started getting teary. I don’t know but it was teary. He gave me the bouquet, I took it.

“Awwww baby don’t cry. I am glad I made it here and how’s the surprise?”  he looked at me and I was still amazed. I hugged him tight and he hugged me back.

“I missed you Chan and thankyou for everything. For everything” I could feel he was smiling. I was just holding him too tight, “I missed you too” he said.

“I love you Chan” I looked at him.

“I love you too” he was smiling.

I tiptoed and kissed him

[hitsuackerman]

The Last Nugget (Hawks x Reader)

Prompt: Hawks and you have a silent war during a heroes meeting.

link: part 2

Warnings: fluff and flirting

The sudden message for heroes to gather was indeed unexpected. Fresh from your shift, you barely got any shut eye. With such a weird schedule of patrol, you were more than disgruntled when your phone beeped and insisted it was all but urgent.

Upon waiting for the doors to open, the cup of XL coffee barely gave you the needed boost. Heck, with each blink you made it felt as if your body might give in and enter the state of hibernation. Stifling a yawn, you stretched your limbs which gave you satisfying pops.

The heroes were now arriving one by one. You were all too relieved when you saw just how deep their eye bags were. Small talks and catching up was evident for those. Updates on whether or not they want to team up in future missions.

Soon enough, cart wheels could be heard through the halls. Upon closer inspection, you realized that all you had in your system was caffeine and air. The McGonalds logo was more than enough to make you excited for the meeting to start.

When the meeting did start, you were wedged in between Fatgum and Wash. Your mind barely gave attention to the discussion knowing a summary would be sent via email. Instead, your thoughts were focused on how a washing machine became a hero. 

Finally, the food was served and your eyes landed straight to the pile of glorious chicken nuggets. Hallelujah. You had been craving some for quite some time. Each attempt to enter the food chain only resulted in hero work and fatigue.

One nugget after the other, you stuffed your face. The tangy barbecue sauce sends delightful tingles on your taste buds. Yes, these nuggets are the definition of unhealthy but you burned calories on the daily basis so it was all good.

Until there was one nugget left.

Eyes darting from one hero to another, you felt no shame in taking the last piece. That was until you caught the person sitting in front of you eyeing the nugget as well.

Lifting your eyes together, you raised an eyebrow only to be responded with one as well. Hot damn your brain was too slow to function to realize it was Hawks. This man really was your definition of cocky perfection. With the added bonus of such sinful good looks, you were not denying you had fantasized about him from time to time.

Recalling each message you two had exchanged, you were well aware that he too was a little more flirtatious with you. All this became evident when a much more appealing and sexy hero accompanied you both 5 missions ago, he made no efforts to flirt with her. Instead, he got all touchy with you. Of course you did not mind.

None of you were blind, though. The mutual pinning had been going on for months now.

Meeting his golden eyes, mischief was written all over it. The way his eyes darted to the nugget and back to yours, he was marking it as his. A small hidden smirk, one that only you could see, emerged on his face.

In turn, you looked at the nugget and back at him. If looks could kill, you may (or may not) have already injured this winged hero. The look on your face saying this was yours and no one else.

Because of how small the table was, you felt him kick your leg. Seeing your eyes widen at the sudden contact made him see his victory over the piece of chicken. Squinting his eyes, he mouthed the words ‘mine’.

Kicking him back, rather harshly, he jumped a bit on his seat. All eyes turned to him. Now was the perfect chance to grab the nugget and brag to his face, but his eyes never faltered from yours. He simply looked at you as he gave out his explanation.

“Sorry ‘bout that folks. Sometimes these feathers make me extra sensitive.” Lifting his index finger, he began to twirl a single feather. Almost in a teasing fashion.

The discussion proceeded and the silent war resumed.

Wash poked your leg to ask a question. Still, you were not about to lose sight of the hawk in front of you. Listening to Wash’s question, your gaze was simply locked on his. Damn those eyes.

With only a vague idea as to what the odd hero was asking about, you tore your concentration from Hawks. The man noticed and sat straight up. Wings ruffling a bit at the thought of the trophy being his. He winced when he felt your foot stepping hard on him.

‘Not today, birdman.’ You mouthed to him. Seeing him pout like a small child caused your heart to flutter. What you’d give feel those lips on yours. Imitating his actions, Hawks’ eyebrows twitched and damn did he want to pin you to the wall and kiss you. Screw the nugget he thought, but his pride said no.

At this point, he didn’t care about the nugget.

Grabbing his pen, he scribbled something on to the notepad given to him and crumpled it into a ball. Dropping it on the floor, he let a small feather roll it towards you. Signalling you to look down, you sneakily took the paper and read its contents. Careful not to let anyone see it.

‘Fighting over a nugget? How low can we get?’

Not able to hold it in, you covered your mouth to hide a smile. Grabbing your pen, you wrote down your reply and gave it to the feather.

‘You know I love my nuggets.’

Looking back at you, Hawks was met with teasing eyes. He knew too well that you had just finished your shift. He could clearly see how much you were hanging on to the thin thread of staying awake while still managing to play his little games. It was all too evident that he was your beacon in staying awake in this god forsaken meeting.

Writing a reply back, he gave you a wink as you received the message.

‘Have it. I like you more than nuggets ;) ‘

Giving him a questioning look, you bit your lip trying to suppress a smile. This was a heroes meeting not a random convention. You still had to act your part. A soft nod was all Hawks had to do for your heart to flutter.

Both your eyes widened when a rather huge hand took hold of the last nugget. Following the arm, Fatgum was all smiles as he was about to devour the snack. When he saw that you were staring at the nugget, he let out a small giggle and bended to get closer to you. Nugget outstretched.

“Ya wanna half it? I don’t mind~” Fatgum whispered.

He is too precious for this world. That’s what you always thought when it came to Fatgum. He was one of your closest hero friends and always a very good hugger when needed.

“You two have been ogling each other for the past minutes… You and Hawks aren’t very subtle.” Fatgum continued to whisper. Nudging your elbow as well. Seeing that you made no comment about the nugget, he popped it into his mouth and gave a cheeky grin. You could feel the heat traveling to your cheeks.

Your eyes landed on Hawks who, in turn, was trying to hold in laughter. Lowering his head, you could see him taking his phone from his pocket and typing a message. Not a moment too soon, your phone vibrated.

‘He was on to us. Damn it.’

‘Guess espionnage isn't our forte.’

Hawks snickered at your message. At one point in time, you had figured out he was a spy in the Paranormal Liberation Front. All sense of reason told him to stay away from you, just to make sure no harm would come your way. Three beers later, he had heard the comforting words of you not wanting him to leave and that you could keep his secret safe.

‘Cheeky. I like it.’ He replied.

‘Only with you.’

‘Round 2 for nuggets. My treat. Go?’

Putting his phone back into his pocket, he knew you were good to go. The genuine smile you weren’t bothering on hiding could almost blind him right there. That was a sure fire ‘yes’ from you and boy was he excited to get the hell out of this meeting.

By the time the meeting ended, the two of you didn’t bother saying farewell to the others. Instead, you felt his gloved hand gently hold on to your shoulder before hoisting you up. That scene caused the other heroes to gasp.

“Nuggets then my place?” Hawks asked as he held you closer. Not minding the eyes of others.

“Nuggets then your place.”

The last thing the other heroes saw was a red blur and an empty spot where the two of you once stood.

[matchasprouts]

Listen Closer - Chapter 18

[ finally updating <3 i've been hanging out with a friend all weekend so i haven't really had the chance to write! very excited to move on to the big game though. hopefully it'll all fit into one chapter without killing me dead since it'll be in Garrett's perspective, but we'll see how much i wanna write about it ]

First || Next || Previous || Last

“He kissed you?” Lawrence asked over dinner that night, after Garrett finished telling him about his day. “Like… on the mouth?”

Garrett let out a sharp laugh that cautious way Lawrence said it, covering his mouth until he’d calmed down. “Yes, Lawrence, on the mouth. It was insane! I’ve never seen him lose his composure like that, I honestly thought we were about to fuck.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you did,” Lawrence replied, referencing Garrett’s propensity for taking just about any chance for public sex that he got.

“I wouldn’t either, but Perez walked in and he acted like she was gonna kill him for it,” Garrett said, rolling his eyes at the memory of the interruption. He would have had a lot of fun that day if it weren’t for her coming in. Though, giving Strahm a little taste of what he craved only for it to be taken suddenly was very satisfying as well.

When they were done, Lawrence helped Garrett clean up. Mark hadn’t come home yet, he had some work to catch up on and decided to stay late. He was probably also preparing for the big game that would be starting soon.

He still wasn’t home by the time the two of them laid down, and Garrett sent him a quick goodnight text before closing his eyes. He heard his phone ping with a response almost immediately, but the lack of sleep last month was still kicking his ass and he passed out before he could reply.

---

“Huh. That’s new,” Garrett commented as he looked down at the corpse in front of him, a man with his head sawn in two. The trap itself seemed to be just the circular saw covered in the blood of the dead man, the chains around his wrists attached to the wall with it.

“My best guess is that he was supposed to get out of the chains before they dragged him to the saw.” He didn’t actually know anything about this trap, as he hadn’t seen it be built or heard anything about it. It honestly looked like something John himself put together, but he knew that was unlikely, unless it had been built when John was in better condition.

He began to glance around the room, looking for a tape or keys. Generally, he wasn’t allowed to touch the tapes, since they were almost always in evidence by the time he was called in. He didn’t find a tape, but he found a key in a small hole in the floor, covered up with a piece of wood that was near indistinguible from the rest of the floor.

“Hey, where’s Strahm?” Garrett asked Perez when she handed him the evidence bag that he dropped the key into, so they could check if it would have actually worked.

Perez gave him one of those looks, making it clear that she knew exactly why he was asking. “In his office, I imagine. He came in but didn’t show up when I called him down to the scene. I can only guess why.”

See, this is why you should knock before coming into Garrett’s office.

“Hm. Good to know,” he replied, grinning at her before getting to work on his sketch. He loved knowing that she could see the tension between him and her partner, because it made it so much more fun.

He handed the sketch off to her when he was done, making a small note about how simple this trap was, and how he thought it was probably Kramer who designed it, making it easier to build since he couldn’t put it together.

He’d know if he was right or not when he asked later.

Soon enough, he was back in his office, humming a soft tune to himself as he worked.

The office was becoming something like a third home to him, seeing as he spent more time in it than his own apartment at this point. Sure he was glad to have a different job and coworkers than when he worked at the bookshop, but he spent a lot of time in here.

It didn’t help that the other parts of Jigsaw suddenly decided to pick up the pace and set an assload of traps, some of which Garrett didn’t even know about until they happened. He was inclined to think that he was the only one working on the big game now, but he knew better than that. After all, John had been very excited (or, as excited as that man could get) to show him the rack last time he was at the meat packing plant. Of course, he’d been ecstatic to see it, the rack was his favourite torture device, and he loved the new twist on it.

Damn. Not even he could escape his shitty puns.

Either way, Garrett got out of the precinct as fast as possible, not because he was tired of being in there, but because Mark had told them that if the both of them went back to the motel today, they could get the trap finished and be done with it, which would lessen the time in between setting it up and the game starting.

As excited Garrett was to see the game unfold, he was also eager for it to be done with. At this point, he was only really tuned in to seeing the rack in action, and seeing if Strahm lived or not.

Though, he’d also get to see just how good of an actor Mark was when he was pressured, and he was very excited for that.

“You ready?” he asked Mark once he had his bag slung over his shoulder, carrying the two final pieces of the machine itself, while Mark had all the extras- the tape, the pictures to be strung up, the pig mask that the player would be given, and the red light bulb they were going to switch out the normal one for. Atmosphere was important, after all.

“Let’s go,” Mark replied simply, apparently deciding that he was going to drive the shitty rental car that Garrett himself could barely fit in. That was going to be amusing, but he said nothing.

He let a snicker escape when Mark realized he was too big for the car, but he stood by his decision and made the very awkward drive to the motel, glaring at Garrett every time he laughed at the sight of him all crumpled up in the driver’s seat.

They took a longer route to the motel this time, just to be safe and ensure that they weren’t being followed. But it didn’t take too long for them to park in front of the gross only building.

Garrett pulled his mask and hood up, glancing at Mark and finding him with a confused expression. “I’m kind of easy to pick out in a crowd,” he pointed out, referencing his bright white hair and face scar. “You should probably cover up too, just to be safe.

Mark paused for a long moment, before sighing and pulling his own hood up. Then they got out of the front and grabbed the bags from the back, heading in as soon as Garrett found the room keys.

Ivan tried to talk to them again when they headed in, trying to get them to explain who they were, only to be shut down with a sharp glare from Mark. Garrett snickered quietly to himself at the look on that freak’s face, before quickly heading upstairs.

They set everything up before putting in the new light bulb, neither of them particularly eager to work in the red light. Mark set up the pictures, tape, and mask while Garrett finished putting together his most annoying, but likely most satisfying, trap.

Garrett was going to be the one watching every camera that they were connected to, acting as the watcher of the game. He originally thought about participating, but John shut that down quickly. There needed to be someone who could take down stragglers and put Strahm in his trap, and Lawrence wouldn’t be able to do that himself.

It was a little disappointing, but at least he’d get to see the Rack and his own trap in action.

They didn’t stay any longer than they had to, heading out as soon as they were done. Ivan didn’t try to talk to them again, but someone else tried to get their attention.

There had been a drug addict that was sitting beside the front door every time Garrett showed up, usually choosing to yell at him whenever he came in. He’d done the same thing today, but took it up a notch and grabbed Garrett.

He almost killed him on the spot, forcing him to freeze as his eyes widened even more than they usually were. The addict seemed to already regret his decision, probably because the lighting made Garrett’s very wide eyes look red, instead of his usual brown.

The jacket was released almost immediately, but that didn’t stop Garrett from cracking his fist down on the man’s jaw, ignoring his cry of pain or the fact that his knuckles now ached.

“Let’s go,” he growled to Mark, grabbing him by the arm and all but dragging him out of the building.

They didn’t talk about it on the ride back, or after it. In fact, they planned to never talk about it again. Luckily, they were distracted when Amanda wheeled John over, placing him right in front of them.

“Is your trap done, Garrett?” John asked him, pulling the oxygen mask down to hang around his neck. When Garrett nodded his confirmation, he continued. “Good. The game can proceed earlier than planned then. Is your final tape finished?” he asked Mark now.

Mark recorded the tapes for Rigg’s part of the game, the part that Mark himself would be participating in. Garrett had gotten to listen to them, and he had to admit that he’d gotten a lot better at the Jigsaw voice.

He nodded, confirming that they were done. “Then we gather the players soon- within a week, at the most. Take a break while you still can. Garrett, you will collect Mr. Denlon and his co-players. Amanda will retrieve Dr. Denlon and Detective Matthews. Mark, you have your files, try not to hurt them too much.”

It’s funny that he thought Mark was going to be the problem- though, to be fair, Mark didn’t exactly see players as people anymore. That’s why Garrett was gathering the players for John’s half of the game, because he didn’t trust Mark to not hurt them.

John waved his hand to dismiss them both, and they took the chance to head home to the apartment before it got too late, not particularly fond of the idea of sleeping in Garrett’s work room.

Besides, Lawrence was at home, and he never liked sleeping alone.

“So, do you think Strahm is going to follow Rigg’s trail like he’s supposed to?” Garrett asked as he drove them home, both of them far more comfortable in his own car, which was actually built for people their size.

“If he wants to find Jigsaw, he’ll have to,” Mark replied, finishing whatever text he was writing on his phone and sending it off. “With how much he thinks it’s me, he’ll think that he’s being led to exactly who he wants.”

“Which is why I’ll be knocking him out. I’m a different build, height, and strength level. The last thing he’ll probably realize before he passes out is that whoever I am, I’m definitely not you,” Garrett added. The plan was thought out to the smallest detail, and that was one of the most important parts. Strahm wouldn’t even have a trap at all if he’d just minded his own business.

Garrett would never admit it, but he definitely wished Strahm had stayed out of it. He wasn’t by any means a good man, or a good agent, but he wasn’t being trapped for rehabilitation; he was being trapped to die.

It made him feel uneasy. Sure, Garrett wasn’t a perfect model of John’s teachings, but he still believed that killing someone for the hell of it was fucked up. He didn’t like it, and he didn’t like that Strahm was given no way to escape.

So, he was going to give him one.

[encyclopika]

18 & 20 For the ask game!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH KAT!!! <3 God this is long.

From this writer’s ask game...feel free to send me some asks!!! :D

Gonna link the stories here for reference and for anyone interested in reading!

The Missing Series // Fire and Brimstone

--

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Yes, ma’am! First I’m going to say that most do not, but the Missing series, particularly all that concerning Asuka and Ai, does in a big way...particularly the completely altered timeline that follows them if she doesn’t go away. You’ve seen the comic, where Ai doesn’t lose her nerve that snowy day and makes it obvious to him she also has stock in a deeper relationship. Yeah, that one. I’m currently working on more short comics from that timeline. Not necessarily a whole story, but snippets from that fluffier timeline. But that also means a few things happen differently - for one, Krow doesn’t join the Ryukyu offices, mostly because, in that timeline, he’s allowed to fulfill his own heroic story faster than he can in Missing. He’s not actually a rescue hero, but he doesn’t have Ai around in the main series to come into that as quickly. 

I also almost went harder on Ochako’s duality in Missing, almost making Uravity a separate entity that was starting to hate Ochako’s bullshit. I honestly hated that and clearly didn’t do that. Instead, the duality is more “in her head” than anything. This idea kinda comes out in Krow and Asuka instead.

Additionally, there was, once upon a time, an alternative “Missing”, in which Deku chooses not to return to Tokyo for the Pyromancer case, and Ochako faces him alone. It gets obnoxiously dark and gritty, to the point where I’ve taken that OnO fuel and split it between Escape Artists and my little-known horror project Downpour I’ve been working on in not-secret. But, yeah, that’s definitely an abandoned plotline...*shudders*.

There are small details here and there that I changed in both Missing and Missing Out that created alts, mostly concerning Deku and how he fights baddies/figures things out, name changes for OCs, The Ring’s and Pyromancer’s whole identities changed, and Irina’s characterization has really gone through the ringer (from being another lovable asshole bird like Krow that simply gets on his nerves, to being a dangerous, but important antagonist). I also had Deku introduce the idea that people’s quirks can kill them in Missing because I intended to explore it more, and I’m not sure if that’s totally abandoned... 

Thanks for asking this one. <3

--

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Yes. 

All of that. I don’t wanna toot my own horn, but I live for hidden messages, references, callbacks, foreshadowing and symbolism. The Missing series (and to a lesser extent, Fire and Brimstone) is simply overflowing with these things...there’s so much that even with all of the people who have read it, there are still gems and Easter Eggs left to be discovered. And, before I get into it and make this post obscenely long, my reasoning for doing this is simple - I want you to read my fics again...I want to have reread value. 

I’m going to put it under a cut in case anyone wants to discover them for themselves and also general spoils. Here are the ones I’m MOST proud of or that make me laugh or, dare I say it, make me feel smart. This is not an exhaustive list, and of course, I’m not pointing out any future Missing series meta for sake of spoilers.

Titling 

Titles, titles, titles, girl you know I love titles. I’m a title SNOB. And I do A LOT of fun things with titles, such as:

1. Using the title of the fic as a buzz word and callback to the theme. 

I get real obnoxious with this in the Missing series. The overarching theme of Missing is, well, missing people, particularly in the vain of heartache, loss, and longing. And I put it everywhere:

From Missed Chance:

Despite keeping steadfast to her goals and to her future, she knew that for a long time, she'd be missing him.

From Missing:

Today, there would be an update. As much as she wished it weren't so, the only time she saw Deku was when it had to do with Pyromancer or for a brief moment before leaving the police station in the mornings. Any other time, she was missing him.

“I miss you.”

...

“I'm always missing you.” 

That's probably how he wanted it - being Asuka, the one still missing Ai, was too painful.

It couldn't ever be the same again, and Ochako was happy for it, feeling like her life was now so full.

And not a thing was missing.

From Missing Out:

“Miss me?”

“Only a little.”

But even when she was being annoying as hell, I craved her, like I knew I'd miss her. 

Still, after all that time in the cold, her lips seemed like a warm reprieve...if I could have ever gotten there...

I miss her.

I'm always missing her.

^This one’s a double whammy, for obvious reasons.

2. Using chapter titles to run with a theme, too.

This only happens in Missing and Missing Out, but, look:

Chapter titles for Missing are the life of a fire and also follow the level of stress in the fic, as well as Ochako’s feelings: Hot Coals, Rekindling, Reignited, On Fire, Blazing, Inferno, Burn Out, Backdraft

Those words are used in their respective chapters too AND we run through them when Ochako is considering confessing or not in the last chapter.

I pull the same kind of crap in Missing Out, except all the chapter titles are things Ai gave to Asuka. If it’s an object, the object is in the chapter, otherwise, it’s stated in the chapter, too.: A Desperate Lie, Lunch, Skills, Home, No Conditions, Second Chances, Worry, Agony. It’s also in reference to this, because kill me, I guess.

Bonus: Since the story is told from within the theatre of Asuka’s memories, the titles for chapters 7 and 8, “Worry” and “Agony”, are spoiled in Chapter 6 here:

I didn't know I'd missed my last shot at telling her...I didn't know that I really would be missing out on a life with her.

Because everything after this is worry and agony.

BONUS BONUS - THE TITLE OF THE FIC APPEARS HERE TOO BECAUSE I’M OBNOXIOUS.

3. Title allusions and character.

Particularly for “Fire and Brimstone”, the title sounds like it’s just about the main boys, Katsuki = Fire, and Kirishima = Brimstone. BUT BUT BUT it’s also referencing biblical shit, which is appropriate, given it’s an Angel/Demon AU. It refers to God’s wrath when people use it loosely, but it is also the torment in hell for the deadly sin lust. *hint hint nudge nudge*

--

Okay that’s enough about titles. How about the fact that 

Krow is a Crow

So many little crow quirks, lore, and bullshit is put into this character, like wow.

1. The entire concept of his quirk is all about crow lore, in that they are often connected with death in a number of cultures. This is why, although he doesn’t like to explain it, his quirk isn’t literally a sense of smell, but a little more mystical than that. It’s a sense. His quirk also references the Carrion Crow, Corvus corone, for which he’s based, which is a scavenger and is heavily associated with carrion and is native to Japan.

2. The green and purple iridescence of his wings are also referred from the Carrion Crow in particular. 

3. What’s not overly obvious is that crows and ravens have positive lore too - in a number of cultures they are guides and messengers, sometimes to people, sometimes to Gods, which Krow fulfills to both Ochako and Ai (with Ai’s quirk, she could be compared to a goddess, for which he acts as the messenger - this was how she figured their partnership would work). Krow kind of puts this and the negative lore together when he explains his quirk for real in Missing Out:

 As a teenager, I ignored them. Death is everywhere and it usually isn't important. Whatever messages they need sending, I'm not the crow they're looking for.

He also actually has a messenger bag in Missing Out.

4. It’s referenced in Missing and outright admitted in Missing Out that he’s inexplicably attracted to shiny things, which is more or less also crow lore, rather than fact, but still. 

5. Krow’s name “Asuka” is a unisex name that refers to scents, but also birds and flight. There are a bunch of different refs that say differently, but I’m sticking with that. “Dakuro” is Engrish for “Dark”, which, if you really wanna meta, is actually his last name, considering his father is British. “Dakuro” is just how the Japanese people around him pronounce it. XD

6. He admits to collecting random shit he finds aesthetic, in reference to hoarding and collecting as crows do. 

7. Asuka and Ai’s “lunch for quirk fodder” exchange, as well as his giving her the necklace and the box of quirk fodder, is in direct reference to this adorable true story.

8. Asuka speaks more than one language and is capable of mimicry during his “feral response” while fighting the Bear Trap Villain. This is in reference to the fact that crows and ravens are capable of mimicking human speech like parrots.

9. Asuka likes to sit in high places and watch people, and squats in tree for the majority of Missing Out and often bitches about walking anywhere, unless it’s to protect Ai. He has the mentality of a bird. He’s also built like a bird, with hollow bones and air sacs to assist his properly sized wings during flight.

10. He’s actually incredibly intelligent, and uses it to finagle out of tough situations and generally be a trickster, as is crow/raven lore, but crows/ravens are considered the smartest group of birds besides parrots. Unfortunately, this gets balanced out by the fact he’s a teenage human boy, which makes him lazy and capable of dumbass moments. 

11. The murder investigations - there’s a number of instances where Krow can’t help but be drawn to death from his death sense in both Missing and Missing Out. He can’t stop himself from investigating the building Pyro is hiding in, the murder warehouse, and when Ai dies. Crows and ravens will gather around fallen comrades in a mix of mourning and also in an effort to try and figure out what happened and if that threat still pertains to them. 

:3 Birb <3

--

Secret Messages and Tells and Foreshadowing and Symbolism

-In Missed Chance, the duality split of Ochako and Uravity is referenced as happening at a particular moment. Throughout Missing, Uravity is treated as apart from Ochako until the end of Missing where they “agree” on letting Deku help. It’s a duality of self representation.

-At the end of Missing, I’m hoping its clear everyone but Iida was in on leaving the two of them alone. Aoyama initiates it by leaving first.

-There are at least two instances where there’s heavy foreshadowing of the end of chapter 7, once with Aoyama:

“Then where in this overcrowded city?”

“I see. Among the clouds, then.*”

And again with Deku:

“That's a relief. Now, I just need to make sure I don't float myself into the stratosphere and you'll be right!”

-There is SO MUCH symbolism related to flying and birds, I can’t really put it all here, but it’s there. Also so much symbolism to fire in Missing, not only with Pyro’s quirk, but Ochako’s feelings..

-Krow reacts to a memory of Ai before we know she exists (since he’s hiding it) while they are interrogating Necromancer: “That’s not bringing them back. That’s nothing like bringing them back.” He also lets it slip a bit that he’d speaking from experience when ragging on Ochako about Deku. Deku also introduces the idea that people’s quirks can kill them in the same chapter, which is in reference to Ai, but also what ends up happening to Ochako, more or less.

-If you replace Ai’s name with the literal meaning of her name in some sentences of Missing and Missing Out, the UwU angst goes up to an 11. Here’s the one that’s particularly the gut punch:

Ai saved me in every way someone could be saved.

[Love] saved me in every way someone could be saved.

-End of chapter 5 of Missing Out, No Conditions, it should be obvious as hell that if Ai wasn’t in love with Asuka before, she certainly is now. Particularly in the gift box scene, he gives her...butterflies...right? 

-Ai is compared to the winter throughout Missing Out. This is more in reference to what she means to Asuka than anything else. Winter, as a season, is the great equalizer and although things die in the winter, it is also necessary to the bloom in spring. This refers to the shift in Asuka’s life because of her - his villain life ends and his hero life begins. 

-In fact, that whole scene in the snow is based off this gif, particularly the alt comic. It’s of two crows sitting in the snow kissing UwU.

-In both Fire and Brimstone and Missing Out, it should be getting pretty obvious I like to have my winged beasties flutter their wings when they’re in love. 

--

Referencing Literature & Real Life & Pop Culture/Memes

-Pyromancer’s first crime in Alaska is based off the McCarthy, Alaska massacre where a lone gunman gunned down 6 of the 22 residents and injured more. Guy almost killed the entire town. Pyromancer actually did.

-I’ve referred to “The Raven” by Edgar Allen Poe a number of times, particularly in Krow’s famous line

“Nevermore, bitch!”

But I also referenced the Telltale Heart, The Cask of Amontillado, Frankenstein, The Wizard of Oz, and fanfiction in general. 

-There’s a pop culture reference in Fire and Brimstone from Bioshock where Shinso says:

“Would you kindly go repent at the alter? Ashido is waiting.”

And I love it a lot, because in Bioshock SPOILERS, “would you kindly” is the trigger phrase that’s supposedly controlling the player, Jack, to do things for Atlas and in canon, Shinso’s quirk is brainwashing. Mineta upon hearing it just goes “okay” and promptly does what Shinso tells him. Shinso’s brainwashing is also referred to by Mineta just before that:

“Or get brainwashed into believing fairy tales,” Mineta said flatly from beside the Angel.

-There is indeed a motherfucking JoJo’s reference in Missing. And there’s more memes where that came from.

-Krow’s use of “my guy”, “lit” etc etc. is self explanatory. He is a whole ass meme chicken.

-In fact, I call Krow and the other birds of the Missing series “chickens” because of the meme of the girl pointing to a bunch of geese saying “look at all these chickens!” In fact, Irina calls and will call Krow a “cock” in Missing Out and Escape Artists, and it’s kind of a more sinister play on this. Transplant and Keeper, during their convo in Missing Out refer to the women captive under Keeper part of her “henhouse” and that she’d need a “rooster” to go through with her plans. Krow also refers to his fight with Irina as a “cockfight”.

-I’m not religious, but the lore is fun to allude to. The religious references should be clear in Fire & Brimstone, and a lot of the words I use relate to the topic, even casually in the narration, but also when the characters say “like hell!” Also in F&B, the real Angelic hierarchy shapes much of the worldbuilding, as do the references to real life racism, police brutality, and other shit like that.

In Missed Chance, the sun coming through the window puts a “halo” around Deku.

In Missing Out, Krow refers to demons on a number of occasions, sometimes towards himself, his family (which in comes the irony, since they look like Angels), but towards the end, it’s used to explain Ai’s mental illness. There are also these choice lines that entertain the notion of heaven and hell:

  Below us was hell – mothers with agendas, school, dipshits, murderous villains, oh my! But up there? It was just us...

I was under no illusions about a heaven...hell certainly exists back down on the ground but I've been high enough now to rule the other place out. Unless this cold, quiet nothingness is supposed to be the intuitive opposite to the chaotic, unfair bullshit below.

-There’s a lot of references and characters with mental illnesses - psychosis, sociopathy, anxiety, depression and PTSD are all explored. In fact, Krow’s tendency to laugh at everything and get triggered by certain events (all of Missing Out is the result of him triggering himself in order to make Ochako realize her mistake) is a tell-tale sign he suffers greatly from PTSD, and Ai’s mental breakdowns are indicative of the anxiety I myself suffer from. Honestly, I just wanted some fics that look into it. 

-In the same strain, all of the characters in Missing present different coping mechanisms towards what first-responders actively go through irl. Much of that was taken from my own life as someone with police in the family and being married to a firefighter/EMT.  

--

Okay, that’s enough. Hope you enjoyed...I certainly had fun outlining all of it XD

[imagine-loki]

Gifted

Title: Gifted (Sequel to Giftless)

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 38/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: 

Imagine that you are Stark’s niece and you secretly share a strong relationship with Loki since he entered the crew. One day you get hurt so bad during a mission that you are about to die.  Loki knows a spell that will save you and share his immortality with you but you and he will be linked forever sharing thoughts, pain, emotions…

RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS:  Also on AO3 click here

Early the next morning, you and Loki had to make the portal to send Thor back home. He was livid when he found out about your 3:30am healing, but there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn’t stay here any longer, either. He had duties back home and had only been able to leave for your birthday. “We will find a cure, little sister,” he promised you before he stepped through the portal. You watched as it snapped closed behind him with a twinge of sorrow as you would miss him. He was a great friend and adopted older brother. He promised they would call you home to Asgard as soon as they found a cure. You smiled, glad that he thought enough of you to consider Asgard as your home as well.

You dragged Loki up to the infirmary after Thor had left so you could check on Veronica. You wanted to make sure all of your 3am healing took. Thankfully it had, she was asleep when you arrived, but the other healers assured you that she and the baby were both doing just fine. They shooed you from the infirmary as soon as they’d given you the update.  Julia was terrified that Fury or Tony would find you there. Apparently you were forbidden the infirmary anymore that day after the huge healing you had done the previous night. They really were keeping track of how much time and power you spent there.

“When is your first class?” Loki asked as you wandered to the kitchen to get breakfast. You got the biggest mug of coffee Helene had to offer. She gave you a disapproving look, but you flashed her a big reassuring smile and she let you have your coffee, as well as a huge plate of pancakes. You nodded your thanks and took your plate of pancakes to your usual table. You grinned when Loki sat across from you.

/Just like old times/ you thought at him. You had breakfast just like that almost every morning for the year you had both lived in the Tower together.

“Why are you two awake?” Tony asked when he joined you, pulling up a chair to sit at your two-person table.

[I have class] you signed at him. [I can’t miss any more classes this semester] you had only gotten out of the classes you had missed because Fury had told the school you were on an urgent mission for the Avengers. He wouldn’t help you skip classes for anything less than an emergency. Tony glared at you.  [I just have two classes today. We’ll be back by 1]

“Fine. Just be careful,” Tony replied. 

You rolled your eyes. [It’s going to suck] you signed, finally betraying some of your emotions to him.

“You like school,” Tony reminded you.  He was wrong, of course, but he was a moronic genius who tried to hard

[I want to be a qualified doctor] you corrected. [I doubt anyone there signs, and I’m already weird and a celebrity]

“Darling, it will be fine. I will be there to translate, and keep you company, and Mother is looking for a cure. She will find one soon, I am sure. Thor said that she was on the right track. He would not lie,” Loki added. You gave him a small smile, but you were still worried. “When is your first class?” he asked again.

[Sorry!] you signed. You had forgotten he had asked. [It’s at 9] you glanced at the clock and shoved your pancakes into your mouth faster. You didn’t have a whole lot of time. You stood and vanished your plate back to the kitchen. You used more magic to change your clothes from pajamas to your jeans, converse, and a hoodie stolen from Loki’s closet. Loki gave you a disapproving look at how grungy you looked, especially in his oversized hoodie.

“You are going out like that?” he asked. 

You rolled your eyes. /I’m a college student, Lo. This is how we dress/ you thought at him as you summoned your school bag, which had your laptop.

He sighed. “I can summon you something nicer,” he offered. You could tell he missed the dresses of Asgard. You sighed and held out your hand.

/Fine, but nothing too fancy. This is school/ you told him. You couldn’t help smiling when his expression lit up. /Nothing fancy!/ you reminded him. /No dresses/ you added for safe measure. He summoned a perfectly tailored pair of jeans instead of the fwumpy old ones you had been wearing and a soft green sweater that fit equally as well. At least he left you your converse. You reached up to braid your hair out of your way, but he spun you around quickly so he could do it himself. You just laughed while Tony rolled his eyes and made fake retching sounds. You flipped him off for his effort. You touched Loki’s cheek and used magic to give him an outfit too, a pair of jeans, a white button-down shirt, and a black tie and suit jacket. He looked at you confused, expecting that you would pick something more casual. You did his hair in a quick manbun, as that was the American standard for what to do with long hair on men. /It’s appropriate since you’re technically working as a translator/ you explained. /Plus you look nice in a suit/

“Only nice? My lady wounds me.” He held his hand to his heart with a mock-expression of pain. 

You laughed at him. /Fine. You’re hot and the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on. Does that please you, peacock?/ you replied with more laughter.

“Whatever you two are talking about, knock it off before I puke,” Tony grumbled. 

You laughed and bent down to kiss his cheek. [See you after school] you signed at him.

“You’re staying here?” he asked.

[For now] you had your own apartment off campus, but you felt better right now staying in your suite here in the compound.

“See you later then, imp, other imp,” he directed the last to Loki, who nodded and offered you his hand in formal escort. You laughed and placed your hand on his. After the first step we took, he teleported you to the coffeeshop on campus.

/You’re a genius/ you told him as you stepped inside the coffeeshop. You could use more coffee. You walked up to the counter and found that your order was already being made. You weren’t terribly surprised. You ordered the same thing every time you went there.

“What did you order for me last time?” Loki asked you when you had reached the counter. You signed back the reply and he placed the order with the barista. You paid for both of your drinks and you waited by the other counter.

“Sigyn, your order is ready!” the barista told you. You smiled and took your cup from her with a nod of thanks. You never placed your orders under your superhero name, but they always gave it to you that way anyway. “Loki, yours will be right up,” she added. Loki thanked her. It was only a minute more before he had his drink as well. You grabbed his tie and pulled him from the coffeeshop by it when he pretended to flirt too hard with the barista. Everyone laughed at your antics.

You led the way to your first class. /I’m going to have so much homework/ you whined at Loki. You’d been gone for two weeks. 

Loki just laughed. “No, you will not,” he replied with a grin.

/You did it?/ you accused. He tried to look innocent. You just laughed. /You’re so bad at the innocent look, but thank you/

“You are welcome, darling,”

You took seats together in the small classroom your first class was in. This was the class you were afraid of. The professor didn’t like you already because you was a celebrity, and in a stupidly accelerated program. You didn’t think he’d take the fact that you couldn’t talk well.

“I don’t allow visitors in my class,” the professor announced when he walked into the room.

[This is Loki. He’s my interpreter. You can’t deny my right to have him here] you signed quickly. Loki translated flawlessly, getting your tone in the words. The professor looked like he was going to argue. [This has already been approved by the dean] you added. Even he couldn’t fight with the dean.

/What is a dean?/ Loki asked you after he had translated your words.

/The leader of the school/ you replied. The professor couldn’t argue that, especially in front of all of the other kids. They all loved you and would fight for your rights if you wouldn’t do it youself. You was just glad this class was graded entirely by multiple guess exams. You could get out of here with your A in a couple months. The professor kept asking you questions throughout the class, as if trying to trip you or Loki up. It was a useless endeavor on his part. He didn’t realize you could just tell Loki your answers telepathically if he couldn’t read the signs. He had no trouble, though and it just frustrated the professor even more. It would have been comical if it weren’t so annoying.

You were glad when class was over and you strolled to the student center with Loki to kill time until your next class. /Are you hungry?/ you asked on the way. It wasn’t quite late enough for lunch, but you knew his metabolism, especially after the magic he had gone through yesterday.

“I could eat,” he answered, which you took to mean that he was hungry. So you stopped by a little hamburger stand on the way to the student center. You thought Loki would hate the place on principle, since it was a greasy delicious college hamburger stand, but he surprised you by actually enjoying the burger.

/I love this place. Best greasy hamburgers in town/ you explained. He raised an eyebrow as you shoved a handful of the best french fries in the city in your mouth. /What? Surely the women on Asgard crave junk food too/

He sighed. “Next you will be demanding chocolate,” he said with a mock whine. You just smiled at him.

/Like you wouldn’t summon all of the chocolate in the city if I asked for it/ you replied.

“You are right, of course,” he conceded with a smile.

You hung out in the student center where Loki got to watch all of the college students while you caught up on social media and emails. You had missed a lot while you was in Asgard. you should have been doing homework, but social media was way more important. You would do the homework later. You had pictures to tag yourself in on social media, friends to catch up with, and school emails to make sure you read.

You second class of the day was much better than the first. Loki was welcomed by the professor, who absolutely adored you. She was a fan of the Avengers and knew Loki as well as you. He was a celebrity too, after all. She asked you a couple of questions, but you thought that she just wanted to watch you sign than actually do anything malicious.

You were still glad when classes ended and you could teleport home. The second you were safely back, you set your schoolbag next to your spot on your usual couch in the common room and magically changed your clothes back to pajamas.

You settled yourself in your spot on the couch and pulled out your laptop to do homework. Loki summoned a book to read. He was also in pajama pants and a t-shirt. You could get him to wear casual clothes around the tower, even if he wouldn’t wear them outside.

The commonroom soon got crowded when the kids and teens started coming home from school and the older supers were coming back from patrol. You looked over at Loki with a grin. /Want to have a little fun?/ you asked with a mischievous smile.

/Always/ he replied, not bothering to look up from his book. You gave him your plan quickly, without bothering to explain why it would be fun. /I hope this is as good at you are suggesting/ he told me.

He stood up on the seat of the couch, drawing everyone’s attention before he announced: “The floor is lava!” you tucked your feet up on the couch and laughed along with Loki as you watched all of the supers leap onto the nearest piece of furniture, or their neighbors and friends. Some used their powers to fly, teleport, or stick to the walls. Four people ended up on one small coffee table, all clinging to each other so they didn’t fall off. You laughed when they all toppled over and had overly dramatic ‘deaths’ in the lava.

Nat calmly walked over to one of the couches. “I’m a fire demon. I’m immune to lava,” she announced. You and Loki laughed, allowing it since she was Nat.

The game ended and everyone went back to what they were doing. “Does everyone know this game?” Loki asked in delight after it was over. 

You shrugged. /I think every American kid does/ you replied, already planning the next game, and silently apologizing to Loki because he was going to lose.

You got up to put a movie in the DVD player, and placed one finger to your ear as you were walking back to the couch. Someone saw you and mimicked your movement. Soon the entire room had their finger against their ear, as if we were all getting a message in an earbud. You grinned at Loki who was busy with his book and hadn’t noticed your antic until he caught your mood shift. He looked up just in time to get tackled to the floor. “Get down, Mr. President!” the supers yelled as everyone leapt on top of him, pinning him to the ground. You laughed and kissed his cheek while you were both pinned. You had been the first one to tackle him, and ended up on the bottom of the pile.

“What’s going on in here?” one of the older supers asked, seeing your dogpile.

“Mr. President was in danger,” one of the kids replied as our pile slowly dispersed.

“Of course. Who was the unlucky President today?” he asked warmly.

“Loki,”

“Well that’s hardly fair. Poor guy probably doesn’t even know the game.”

“Kat started it!” the kids protested. You all started laughing while you helped Loki back to his feet and gave him a proper kiss in apology.

“Silly Trickster,” he whispered in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

/I learned from the best/ you replied. He gave you an elegant bow, accepting the praise. You laughed and explained the rules of the game to him, so he would be prepared next time.

“What are you guys up to?” Tony asked, seeing the room in chaos as everyone tried to get back to their places from our latest game.

“The floor was lava, and then I was the President,” Loki answered calmly as you finally got to settle back in our places on the couch. Tony roared in laughter.

“I would have paid to see you get tackled by the entire group, Mr. President,” Tony chuckled. He didn’t notice until he saw you make the movement, that everyone had put a finger to their ear and he was the last one. He tried to run, but it was too late.

“GET DOWN MR. PRESIDENT!” Roared the crowd as Tony was tackled to the floor.

“I am going to kill you for starting this, imp,” Tony grumbled at you.  You held up your hands innocently.

[I didn’t say anything] you signed indignantly once everyone had removed themselves from Tony. You also healed someone’s nose that had gotten smashed in the excitement. Mr. President was not the safest game ever.

“Kat, we need you and Loki to go out on patrol tonight. Freeza and Nebula caught that stupid flu that’s going around,” Fury greeted you at dinner that evening. You and Loki nodded and agreed to go on the patrol. Loki was always your patrol partner when he was in town. You worked well together and had fairly complimentary powers, plus a stupid amount of healing power between the two of you. Fury gave you your patrol route and left. He didn’t socialize…ever.

As soon as you were done eating, you put your dishes away and changed into your armor. You made sure your dagger sheath was in place, then took Loki’s hand so you could teleport to the start of your patrol route.

You spent most of the evening just walking the streets of the warehouse district in uniform. Of course there were absolutely no illicit kisses during patrol. None whatsoever. You would never do such a thing.

You did come across some robbers trying to rob a bank. You just smiled at Loki. /Shield/ You told him before the robbers noticed you. He smiled and you saw the flicker of green light around him. You stepped into the bank and the robbers turned to face you.

“Hello boys,” you greeted them. Before the second word was out, they were all on the ground unconscious. Loki made the call in to the cops, not knowing if the curse from Balder would work across the phone line. Neither of you wanted to take the chance. The cops picked up the robbers, who were still unconscious. This curse from Balder sucked, but it did make patrol a bit easier in this one case.

The next fight you came across was a lot harder, since there were too many civilians around for you to use that particular power. There was a trio of bad guys, including a firestarter. You and Loki took out the firestarter easily. He wasn’t the problem. The super strength guy got his hands on you and threw you into a nearby wall hard enough to break bones through your shielding. You cursed under your breath, throwing fireballs and daggers with your unbroken arm. The third one was throwing lightning at Loki and all of Loki’s illusions and clones. You cursed again silently and threw up walls of flames around the two remaining villains, buying you a little time. The civilians were busy taking pictures and video. Just what you needed when you were both bleeding and bruised, and your arm was hanging limp at your side.

You speed dialed the cops and summoned a bunch of heavy chain. You let the flame die around the super strength man and used your telekinesis to wrap the chains around him as quickly as you could, using fireballs aimed at him to keep him from being able to fight the chains. He couldn’t fight both at the same time. Loki had the lightning super disabled at the same time. It didn’t take the cops long to arrive to collect the villains. You and Loki  waved to the crowd and he teleported you out of there and back to your suite in the compound.

“Did you forget to shield?” Loki asked you as he helped you sit on your couch. 

You shook your head. /This was damage done through my shields/ you replied.

“Damn, he was strong,” he commented as he looked over your wounds. He hesitated. “I need to see your arm to heal it,” he finally said. You nodded and vanished the top of your armor, leaving you in just your bra. He had seen you in less yesterday, plus this was for healing. Tony rushed into the room while Loki was looking over your side and arm, seeing how bad the damage was.

“Kat? Fury said you were back from patrol. I didn’t see you come in. Is everything ok? What the hell?” Tony demanded. “Why aren’t you in the infirmary and where the hell is your shirt?” he added more loudly when he saw that you were injured. You gestured to Loki with your good arm. You rolled your eyes and sat quietly while Loki got to work healing your injuries.

“We found a couple of villains with powers. One of them hurt Kat through her shielding. I can heal her just as easily, if not more so, than the healers downstairs, and she does not have to step foot in the infirmary. I needed to see her injury, and had you knocked, you would not have to see your niece in nothing but her bra,” Loki answered calmly, but grumpily while he worked. It didn’t take him long to fix the damage. You gave him a kiss when he was done. He pulled the throw blanket off of the couch and wrapped it around your shoulders to cover you. 

[I’m fine, Tony] you signed at him tiredly. [We caught some robbers and some supervillains. It’s late and I just went through a healing. Yell at us tomorrow if you insist on yelling]

“Sorry, Kat. I just worry about you. I hate when you get attacked on patrol. You know that,” Tony said, coming over to give you a hug. “I’m glad you’re ok. Go get some rest before your eyes do that creepy black thing again.” You rolled your eyes at him, but got up from the couch and shoved him from your sittingroom, closing and locking the door firmly behind him. You looked Loki over to make sure he wasn’t injured. He only had a couple scrapes and bruises, which only took a pinch of power to fix. You summoned some pajamas and smirked when you realized in your exhaustion that you had summoned one of his Asgardian tunics to wear to bed. It had apparently become a habit. He grinned at you too when he realized what you had done.

“You are adorable, darling,” he told you, when he realized what you wereYwearing. you blushed at the unexpected compliment, but kissed him again before you both fell into bed. You was tired of the long days already and you hadn’t been home very long at all.

[elane-in-the-shadows]

Prompt list (Fade) 1-. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

A/N 1: Here it is, finally! I hope the wait will be worth it. Contains mentions of sex/smut. 4610 words.

Update: There’s a Part 2 now!

Find this on Wattpad and on AO3

The Candle Flame

Dusk

Farley POV

By the time the setting sun’s light begins to slant in, I’ve been sitting still for hours. Back straight, rifle perched on my legs, I keep watch at the lookout at the notch’s back entry.

Its door is small, well-hidden and not optimal for a fast and safe evacuation of the twenty-odd people currently residing in the notch. It’ll have to make do, of course, like all Scarlet Guard safe houses as well as our equipment.

To be honest, I don’t expect infiltration from here. The exit isn’t even watched 24/7; on top of Farrah muting any sounds we might produce, a watch patrolling the grounds is considered enough.

I am the one to consider that, obviously. I chose to be here. Alone. Huddled deep in the silence Farrah sinks over the woods because I had the faint hope that if no sounds surround me, then my mind will stay quiet as well.

It works, almost. I’m used to emptying my head when I wait and wait. Part of the job on an operative. It can be meditative or giving me space to concentrate, to look ahead and plan.

The latter is what leads me askew. I can’t think without seeing the dead family from yesterday. Can’t see them without reviving the sight of my dead family four years ago. And I can’t remember my family without –

I grab the rifle tighter and take several deep breaths. I thought I’ve seen enough dead bodies but they always get at you. As I can’t help the foreboding fear the slaughtered little baby caused me.

In a way, I was glad for Mare freaking out. She gave me all the reason to stay calm myself and act swift- and safely.

Mare cuddled into Cal as a result, we all saw it. I told him about the raid we’d witnessed, to look after Mare when she avoided Shade and Kilorn. Seems like the prince had more success.

It was all that I could do for her. Have an eye on the team. Encourage them to help each other. Care for their needs. Basically, still barking orders.

This morning was the same. Overseeing and preparing, walking the grounds with my not-quite-smirk, not-quite-frown expression on my face. The hunters must be setting out by now, searching game in the twilight forest to find us food for tomorrow. Housekeeping, hunting and training, that’s what fills this day both calm and on edge. No one is in haste for another operation but it’ll arrive soon enough. Our ragtag group cannot afford to be idle for long.

When I couldn’t take it anymore, when I had to stop playing pretend that I was alright, I took the chance to come here.

 Today’s dinner must be cooking right now and I can almost smell it, taste it on my tongue. Suddenly, the hunger is upon me and waking absurd fantasies regarding our dinner. I chew on my lips. Kilorn jokes that you can only be hungry or sick but he has no idea how literally I feel these ways lately. I crave food. I can’t look at it. I …

There’s a change of air against the back of my neck. I rise and get in stance although I know there shouldn’t be an enemy behind me –

Someone whistles right beside my ear and covers my eyes. A cry escapes my throat and I ram my elbow behind me, my other hand reaching for the assailant but I grab into nothing because they’re gone, invisible even as I spin on my heels.

They – no, he – is already on my other side, and on another yet again. The corners of my mouth twitch. I put down the rifle and I move with him, yet I merely catch glimpses of his shadow and the grin on his face. I must be wearing the same on mine.

I know this game, our personal sparring that is both a dance and a duel. I try to anticipate and fight him, he jumps away. If he wants to attack me, he risks my superior fighting skills while I can only guess where he will be by grasping the patterns of his movements. I shift and duck, enjoying the exertion as much as the taunting touches he leaves on me.

He prides himself on always catching me in the end.

And I long to be found.

Finally, my instincts scream at me to step forward to my left. He has to be there and as fast as lighting, my arm extends to grab him at the chest.

Instead, my hand is pushed back and I startle as Shade jumps forward another yard at the last moment. I bite back another squeal, to protect my pride but also because he stops my stumbling by gathering me in an embrace, hugging me close.

The bastard.

We pant at the contact, the end of our battle. Inches from each other, we breathe the same air.

“Cheat,” I sneer after a few seconds. He chuckles. I pull at his shirt and choke his laughter with a kiss.

He leans into it greedily. His hands reach up, over the curve of my spine to my shoulder blades. For a second, his fingertips tickle the back of my neck.

I moan and let my mouth travel along his jawline. “Make me forget,” I murmur between kisses.

When his hold tightens, I believe he’s going to give in, touching me until I know nothing but the present and the intimacy between us.

Instead he grows tense. He pulls away, not breaking our embrace but drawing back so much we can stare at each other.

I tense as well, if only not to reveal my turmoil. We’d be perfectly serious, if not for our hugging; grave comrades, if not for his thumb brushing my cheek.

“I should’ve come with you,” he says.

I shake my head ever-so-slightly – it offers me the chance to break eye contact. “You were limping again. Your ankle – “

“A limp doesn’t matter to me.”

His gaze catches mine again. I know he means his teleporting, as I know being able to teleport isn’t the same as being in perfect health. I also know that Shade is right, we need him now that Harrick has made clear, even without saying it out loud, that he won’t join our operations again.

I am aware of all that but what I focus on is how similar we are, Shade and I. Both we are raised by the responsibility the cause gives us, both we feel its weight.

He is my partner, my equal, in all regards.

I’m intensely aware of my palms on his waist, the warmth and shape of his body. Of his breathing.

I clear my throat, evading his eyes. “I’m okay,” I say, shaking my head to get a tress of hair out of my face. “You should look after Mare” – he winces – “or Harrick, or Ada.”

The mention of his sister has scored a hit, obviously, he’s tried and failed to talk to her. But he recovers quickly and I realize he’s done all of that already. Shade Barrow knows to how to care for his comrades, in many regards.

Because he is a better friend than I am.

“I’ve come to you,” he says, and there it is again, his yearning, his desire. For me. I feel his touch on my shoulders but more than that, it speaks of the depth of what he feels for me – and I for him.

Shade means more to me than anyone else in the last years.

I haven’t let anyone else get this close to me. I did what I had to, became who I had to be. For survival, to go on, to make a few victories, how little they were.

It’s not enough any longer.

I’m not enough.

I recognize it. I’ll have to pry my heart open. I have change, once more, for him, for –

I swallow, as if to keep in all I need to tell him, what I haven’t told anybody. I don’t even know where to start.

I look up. “Shade,” I begin carefully. Sadness and hesitation swing in my voice.

Suddenly, he startles. He lifts his hands to cup my face, making it impossible for me to turn my eyes away. “Don’t try this, Diana,” he grumbles. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.“

I realize he misunderstood and it’s my fault. Too often, I’ve played it cool and aloof. The need to reply increases. His stare would be enough to claim my full attention, even without his hands framing my face.

Almost. Heat rushes to my head in further embarrassment. I want to give in and reassure and kiss him and get on, but as his words reverberate through my mind, my thoughts speed back to the suspicions plaguing me, to the question I both want answered and to run from.

As I open my mouth to agree, no reply but only laughter escapes. Not just friends.

If only, Shade, if only.

Do you have any idea how much more we are – could be?

Even as he frowns at me, I merely laugh harder, so hard it shakes me and I can only squint at him. I grab him tighter, bringing us chest to chest, leaning my head into his hands.

He falls in eventually, seemingly without noticing the obscure meaning behind my laughter, only the ridiculousness of his claim.

We’re not just friends and so I kiss him, hungrily, my desire for him quickly replacing my former wish for food.

That wish comes and goes so fast these days.

When we have to catch breath and our laughter dies down, I brush over his neck, my thumb caressing his cheek with its faint stubble. I lift an eyebrow. “Not good taste to dismiss the importance of friendship, Barrow,” I tease him.

He snorts. Well, who am I to talk? He has more and closer friends than me. “I’d never,” Shade insists, playfully, and our faces soften in tandem. “We are friends, after all,” he concedes, but puts a finger on my lips before I can retort.

“We became friends and now we’re something else on top,” he says, like he wants to go on. But he hesitates, looking puzzled.

I wait for him, holding my breath. I am – not expecting him to share my suspicions, no. Just dying to hear how he defines us.

He swallows. “We’ve been comrades, friends, and now … we’re in love.”

I haven’t guessed how much this admission, this little word, would shake me with its truth. My heart races and so does his, as I can feel with one hand on his chest and another on his neck.

“Yes,” I breathe, almost inaudibly, before I kiss him in confirmation.

 The world sways. Darkness falls; whether I open or close my eyes, I can only make out moving flashes of colour. I stop trying quickly. I hold on to Shade instead because I begin to understand what’s going on here, he’s teleporting us somewhere. I’d curse at him if I didn’t fear losing my breath or throwing up if I did.

It goes on and on and even with my weakness when it comes to jumping, I grasp we’re covering a longer distance. I just want it to stop and return to feeling nothing and nobody but Shade – until it suddenly does end.

It’s like dropping out of the sky and while I’m afraid of the fall for the fraction of a second, there comes no pain – as the moment I sense my surroundings again, I lie on a huge, soft bed with Shade propping himself up above me.

I blink wildly, gasping. Shade grins, even as my fingers bore into his arms as if I still fear losing contact to earth.

He bends forward to kiss my brow. “You didn’t think I’d keep making you sick, did you?” he murmurs, helping me up as he sits up on his haunches.

“What?” I say tonelessly before I realize: No nausea rising up my throat after teleporting for once. My hand lifts to me stomach nonetheless, out of reflex, as my head spins to take stock of my new surroundings. A huge room, both lavish and neglected, used – or rather out of use – and very dusty.

I look at Shade. “You’ve trained?”

He nods and I have to bite my lips. I wish he was really right about not giving me nausea anymore. In all regards.

Shade doesn’t let go of my hand even once we’ve risen from the bed. He holds it up, leading me like I was a Silver lady and he my dancing partner. I’d chuckle if the gesture wasn’t so entrancingly charming, to both him and me.

He brings me to the other end of the room and bids me sit at a small table covered with a white cloth – besides the bed sheets, the only furniture that appears truly clean in here.

His palms press on my shoulders in reassurance because I can’t stop glimpsing around, in every corner. It gets at me how uncanny the place is. I expect Maven’s sentinels to appear, or an old Silver hiding in the abandoned house.

The image of a lone Silver reminds me of the time I encountered one before, in the night that resulted in the scar on my face, and Shade and I –

Inadvertently, I seek Shade’s eyes at the memory and as if he can read my thoughts, he blushes along with me.

“You don’t have to worry, Dee, I’ve scouted the manor for a while,” he says. He’s rounding the table, flattening the cloth to fight his irresistible nervousness. Slowly, a smile spreads over his face and the next time he reaches me, he whispers in my ear, “for now, this is our palace.”

Shade pulls candles out of his backpack and I follow him with my eyes as he lights and places them around us. “Unfortunately, there’s no electricity,” he says. “No running water either.”

As yet, the sunset lasts, casting a bright orange light from the windows. The sun and the flames array Shade in a warm halo belying his name.

Hadn’t he told me to stay seated, I’d be too transfixed to move either way. He’s so beautiful. I long to stay in this dream he turned this evening into. Forget the bloodshed of the morning and hide with him from the world and the future.

But that is only a dream.

I laugh in rejoice when he presents the food he took from the notch. Damn, I might’ve ignored it for a while, but I’m still hungry. The air is filled with the smells of spices and cooked venison, decorated with mushrooms and vegetables, all served on the same wrappers they were brought in here.

“I got the table here, but it would’ve taken too long to search for and clean the silver plates,” Shades apologizes as he sits down opposite me.

I shake my head and squeeze his hand. “No matter. It’s better this way.”

“The food has gotten cold enough already?” he teases.

I shrug, smiling back at him. I can’t wait to eat, to enjoy, devour, this dinner and not giving my unpredictable stomach a chance to change its mind on the food.

I eat careful and slowly for the same reason, taking my fill but not more. Food alone can’t sate me either way. During the meal, our fingers find each other over the table to play and tangle, and our gazes do the same.

The candlelight becomes him. It reveals new colours in his sable hair, hues of dark brass and bronze, and brings out the warm tones of his brown skin as well as the elegant lines of his face.

Does my face disclose my yearning as much as his?

In my ears, the ring of our laughter, the sound of his voice, shift into a kind of music that is both enticing and existing only for us.

When our makeshift plates are empty, I rise from my chair and go to Shade’s. He twists in his seat and I sit down on his lap. I kiss him, tasting him as much as the residues of the delicious meal. “Thank you,” I whisper once more. He giggles and his hands go to my hips as my fingers dig into his back. For a while. It’s not easy, but I pull away and get up, smirking.

He grins back. “Time to clean up.” He understands the game well enough, the procrastination of lust. We remove the traces of our dinner, even carry away the table.

Whenever our eyes meet, it pierces like a knife.

Whenever we touch, by accident, it is electrifying.

The draw between us grows stronger by the second. When we’re done cleaning up, there’s only us, the candles, and the bed. I stand before him, letting the last of our things drop into his bag without looking. I have only eyes for him.

“Well,” I begin, having no mind for further words.

He doesn’t need any. He smiles with his hands on my waist, and in the next moment he pins me against the wall, kissing me.

I feel his fingers on the naked skin of my waist; so fast has he found his way under my shirt. When we gasp for breath, I use the second of pause to spin us around, pinning Shade against the wall around the corner.

His laughter tingles between our tongues. I moan as his fingertips press deeper into the muscled flesh on my back; I love it when he touches me there.

In a frenzy, always keeping in touch with some body part or other, we step away from the corner, shedding out shirts and loosening our belts as we inch for the bed. It’s like both a dance and a duel – like the sparring fight we had before – and neither, just us, Shade and me.

When the backs of my legs tackle the high bed, I fall behind, holding on only by my hands on Shade’s waistband. He doesn’t let me down. He takes my wrists and pulls me forward, then heaves me up by my hips.

I yelp. Only them do we fall on the foot of the bed. I want him closer, caressing his spine and butt and kissing his neck but first he props himself up by his elbows, then he presses his palm on my stomach, between my ribs.

My eyes widen, locking with his.

Does he guess?

His gaze is intense and questioning like mine. I breathe against the weight of his hand and he feels it, I can see. My cheeks heat as the colour deepens in his. It’s strangely intimate, enthralling. The moment lasts long and even though the unsettling question returns to my mind, I cherish every second of t.

“You’re both soft and strong,” he marvels softly. Finally, he removes his hand and lets it glide over my sides to slowly shove off my rousers.

I smile as I sit up to unclasp my bra. “Thanks for the compliment,” I reply before I let my fingers wander over his chest in return. “I’m sure,” I say with certain awe, “that many people told you how beautiful you are, too.”

From the corners of my eyes, I glimpse his face as I kiss him. His smile is shy and precious. “They weren’t you,” he whispers, very quietly.

 He goes down on me, not even alluding to penetration or mentioning condoms – as if that’s not safe enough. I want to cackle. I should say, “no need for concern, it’s already too late.”

I’ve seen it, how his expression wavered when he leaned atop me, just before he made that compliment. Instead I surrender to the pleasure he gives me. I follow suit, using only my hands and mouth to make him come.

It’s easier this way, on this evening we grant ourselves to forget our fears, be they small or large, private or shared by our allies.

 “I’d like to sleep here,” I admit eventually, knowing we should return to our duties at the notch. But I’m tired and this night so perfect. Shade has to feel the same as his longing expression is enough of an answer.

I put my shirt back on for warmth as he extinguishes the candles, every one but the last which goes out right when we lie down in a hug, he behind me and pressing a kiss on the back of my neck as we snuggle in the blankets.

I ignore how sensitive my breasts are to his touch, switching from treat to discomfort and back again from one second to another. Just as I ignore how I change from energized to exhausted, hungry to nauseous, generally.

The biggest cowards are those who lie to themselves.

 He wakes me with a pat on my shoulder and a kiss on my chin. Or did I dream that? A yawn escapes my throat and I blink furiously against the candle on the nightstand he’s lit again. Shade’s gaze is warmer than it.

I moan against the lingering sleepiness and sit up. Then it’s no longer just sleepiness – my sight wavers and my sense of balance shatters as the nausea rises.

I jump up despite it and rush to the adjacent bathroom. There might be no running water but a drain is a drain. I bend over and retch.

Shade follows. He gathers my hair out of my face and draws circles over my back. It’s soothing, even when the heaving stops. His palm stays on the small of my back as I get up carefully.

He hands me a bottle of water and I drink gratefully, rinsing my mouth and flushing the sink with it.

My heart still beats too fast. Delicately, I hold on to his arms.

The corners of his mouth twitch. He lifts his head to kiss my brow, waits, and kisses me on the mouth. Blood rushes to my head. I can’t taste nice and l feel a lick of shame over throwing up – part of – our dinner.

He doesn’t care about that. He cares about me.

I hug him tight. “I love you.”

The words spill out by themselves. I’m shocked by them as I know they’re true.

Shade is similarly aghast. And yet, mixed with his startlement is this innate determination of his. I’ve seen this face on him often – and often, I am a cause of it. Sometimes, he seems surprised by it himself, by how far he’s come and how far he could go. It bespeaks both his innocence and commitment and it’s drawn me to him from the moment we met.

He cups my head in his hands. “I love you too, Diana,” he says.

His tenderness is piercing. I bury my face in his chest so he can’t see my quivering lip. Why do I even want to hide it though – because I’m used to bottle up my emotions?

That bottle began to fracture the moment we met, too. In truth, I want more. Crave more. More than quick fucks in the shadows of days and nights filled with planning, fighting, running.

I want a life.

I look up to his eyes and wish to find his earnest, loving gaze on me every time I fall asleep or wake up, without fearing it’ll be the last time. I imagine the last evening wasn’t a dream or an escape but our real future where we can cook together in a safe place we’ve made our own, along with our family.

I close my eyes, resisting the temptation to kiss him into oblivion. The time for forgetting and evasion is over. If I want to bring about a different world, I can’t run away from myself.

Shade’s lips brush my temple as I move. I shake my head ever so slightly and lead him back to the bed where we sit down. I don’t look at him. I clench and unclench my fists, breathing heavily.

“I’ve missed my period,” I say. Silence. No answer but a choked breath.

“It should’ve come around the time of the Sun Shooting,” I continue. “I didn’t even notice until weeks later. And then …” I grimace. “Well, if I was too stressed out to notice, maybe I was too stressed out for my period as well.” I suppress a cackle, blindly searching for Shade’s hand. I can feel his fast pulse.

Quietly, I go on. “But there’s still … nothing, after two months.” I clear my throat and finally turn to Shade. “You know what that could mean?”

I frown at him yet my hand squeezes his. Waves of emotions flicker over his face but he tries so hard to stay calm. Just like me. His throat twitches. “You … might be pregnant.”

“Might,” I insist. He nods reluctantly.

I fall back on the bed, balling my fists against my eyes. Shade lies down beside me. His touch, his presence, always so tender and soothing when we are together. So soft as if daunted and yet exactly what I need.

I know a different side of him as well though: when we stand side by side, watching our backs before the enemy.

His voice is a similar kind of caress. “Is that what you want?” It’s a whisper filled with understanding and the wish to understand more yet. I yearn him to. I’ve let him in and don’t want him to let go.

“I couldn’t have a child at the notch,” I say in a decidedly neutral voice. “Nor care for one. We don’t have …” I sigh. “My mother almost died of a fever after my sister was born. It was mere luck we could get medicine in time.” I glance at Shade.

“The notch was never an option to stay at forever,” he says slowly. But his voice lifts at the end of the sentence. Slightly, yet the hint of a question nonetheless. His thumb brushes over the back of my hand.

I know. I know what I didn’t say, what I haven’t denied. No “I don’t want a child”, and he realized that.

I didn’t want to get pregnant. I don’t want to be afraid for a baby.

I’ve ignored the signs, brushed off my suspicions because I wanted them to be false.

But that are also the only “nos” in my mind.

I’m not sure.

Maybe not.

I can’t be certain.

I’ve wished not to be pregnant in the first place because that would be the easiest way. Yet if I accept it – just for a second, just a little bit – to be true … I feel a small surge of protectiveness. My palm glides from my ribs over my abdomen to my thigh. I look at the candle flame burning low.

If I bled right now, be it my belated period or an early miscarriage, I’d feel both relief and loss.

Shade inches closer to me. His gaze earths me. “What happened to your mother and sister?” he asks, tucking a curl behind my ear. He already knows about my father who’s cold and uncaring toward me and everyone else. There is still so much to tell him.

I swallow. “They died,” I reply tonelessly. I close my eyes and the light of the candle flame still burns on my eyelids.

When I open my eyes, the candle has gone out.

“Shade. I don’t want to lose anyone else.”

“I know,” he murmurs. He holds me tighter. “And I’m with you, Diana.”

A/N 2: As we can see Farley having some substantial character development in books 3 and 4, I wanted to show the moment where she decides to change towards being less reserved and more caring toward her friends and comrades.

@elliemarchetti @lilyharvord  @marecal-trash @mareshmallow @avid-author-activist @goldfincheli @loveverygalaxybouquetstuff @misslucyhutton @redqueenfandom @farleydiana @scxrletguardsdawn @maudthebookeater @blairistired @inopinion

[holidaywishes]

back home

Part seven: back home

  Summary: A few months after your accident, and making up with Brendan, you decide to head back to Montreal to stay with him for a bit.

  Author’s Note: So, this one’s short but it’s been forever since I’ve updated this series but life happened. Anyway! I don’t know how many more ‘chapters’ of this one there will be -- I’m hoping to end it on an even number lol -- but I still feel like there needs to be more Gally imagines out there! We’ll see how my brain works with that in the future but if anyone feels the same and wants me to write something, my asks are always open!

  Warning: Angst maybe? Other than that nothing 

  masterlist

  Being back in Brendan’s apartment felt surreal. Nothing had really changed; he kept all your artwork, the throw blankets were still on the couches that you put them on, each room had scented candles or fairy lights to add “a little something” as you used to say. 

  It was as if you never left.

  “Wow, Bren,” you giggled, “you didn’t change anything”

  “I couldn’t. I knew you’d be back home soon and I wanted you to be comfortable..” You smiled at his admission, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek quickly and wandered into the kitchen. You weren’t really sure what you were looking for, so you opened the fridge and stared at the items until Brendan asked you what was wrong

  “Nothing, no. I just..” you started, “I think you need some groceries. I’ll head over to the store and get some stuff. Anything you want? That you’re craving?”

  “I can go, you just stay here and rest” he smiled 

  “I don’t need to rest, I’m fine. Really. Honestly, I should be doing more. It’s been three months since I’ve been out of the hospital, it’s probably time that my life gets back to normal” you admitted

  “I just don’t want you to overexert yourself and end up getting hurt,” he said as he leaned his forehead against yours, “I worry about you”

  “There’s no need to worry, trust me,” you laughed, “if you’re so worried, you can come with me.” You knew you didn’t need him to come with you but it was obvious that he wasn’t going to let you go alone, so you told him what you knew he needed to hear. Something you’d done so many times before. When you got to the store, he let you lead him through the aisles and you picked up all of the things that you’d been craving for months as well as a few things that you knew you’d need for meals. You were glad that this felt normal, like you truly were just picking up where you left off and not pretending to live someone else’s life but you could tell Brendan was being extremely cautious with you.

  “I’m not gonna break” you laughed, breaking the silence and the careful looks you could feel him giving you

  “Huh?” he questioned, unconvincingly

  “I can feel you watching me, Bren,” you looked back once, before setting your eyes forward to see where you were going, “I’m fine. I feel fine, I won’t break just from walking through the grocery store…”

  “Maybe I’m just watching you because I like looking at you, ever think of that?” he joked and you rolled your eyes as you continued walking, picking up a bag of chips as you passed them

  “Sure, okay” you said

  “Hey,” he stopped you and pulled you closer to him, leaving you to raise your eyebrows in shock, “I was serious you know?”

  “What? that you like looking at me?” you laughed, trying to turn away but he didn’t let you

  “Well yeah,” he smiled faintly, “but that I want you to be careful. I don’t want you getting hurt because you think you can do more than you can right now.”

  “Brendan, please,” you finally escaped his hold and continued walking, “I told you, it’s been three months. If I stop doing things, I’ll never get better and I’ll end up having the bone density of a 90 year old grandma. Just trust me, I know what I’m doing.” He didn’t argue with you the rest of the trip and he only asked once how you were feeling in the car on the way home. He was trying, you could tell, to start fresh. To make it as though the relationship you ended was not the relationship you were starting, but you couldn’t tell if you wanted that or not. The rest of the night, the two of you sat in almost complete, comfortable silence with each other -- eating dinner, catching up on Orange is the New Black and Jane the Virgin, cuddling up next to each other on the couch -- but you couldn’t help feeling like there was an itch you needed to scratch.

  “What’s wrong?” Brendan finally asked, “are you okay? Feeling some pain somewhere? I knew it, you should’ve rested, I should’ve made you rest”

  “No, stop!” you said, louder than you meant to, “why would you think something is wrong?” 

  “You’re just being really quiet. You haven’t been this quiet since…” you waited for his answer but rolled your eyes at what he gave you, “since we broke up”

  “Since we broke up? You mean since I left and wouldn’t return your calls?” you questioned and he nodded, “everything’s fine, Brendan, don’t worry. I’m not in any pain. I don’t need any rest. Everything’s fine.” Your words were abrupt on purpose. You wanted him to feel them and understand that something really was wrong, even if you weren’t sure what it was, but he didn’t. He just went back to watching the screen and pulling you close to cuddle with him. You tried to push whatever you were feeling out of your head for now, so you told Brendan you were going to head to bed and walked up the stairs to his bedroom. He came in shortly after you laid down, having cleaned and locked up everything downstairs, and tucked himself into you. When you woke up the next morning, you were surprised to see his side of the bed was empty and a note was left on the pillow.

  “Didn’t want to wake you, had to head to the rink for practice but I’ll see you tonight. Have a good day, love you.” 

  Short and sweet, just like Brendan. Without him hanging around today, you thought you’d be able to relax and do as you pleased; you just weren’t sure where to start. You found yourself wandering around the house to see if anything needed to be cleaned or organized, but oddly enough, he was like he was staying out of certain rooms all together -- it made the house look eerie. You decided to poke around in the guest room, not looking for anything in particular, when you across an old photo album you had never seen before; opening it, you found pictures of you as a baby and Brendan growing up, his family and yours, then you saw pictures of flowers and babies and baby animals when it hit you. It was some kind of wedding scrapbook. You thought only girls planned their lives, or at least their weddings, so far in advance but apparently Brendan had been thinking about spending his life with you for longer than you thought possible. Wandering out of the guest room to the couch, you flipped through the rest of the pages of the book, tossing it aside when you were finished and sighing when you realized what was wrong. A few hours later, Brendan came home to you watching a movie on the couch and circled to sit down, stopping when he saw the scrapbook

  “You found that huh?” he laughed, picking it up and placing it on the table behind the couch as he sat down next you

  “I did” you smiled but not making eye contact, choosing instead to watch your fingers fiddle with the hem of your pants

  “What’s up?” he asked

  “Why do you have this? Why did you make it?” you replied, finally looking up at him and pointing to the book

  “Like you never thought about our future” he joked, smiling his signature smile

  “I did,” you smiled briefly, “I used to”

  “Past tense?” he asked, scrunching his eyebrows

  “Brendan,” you started, grabbing the scrapbook off the table and flipping through it, “look at this. This isn’t who we are anymore. I used to think that I wanted all of this -- the big princess gown, the white lillies, a wedding in Spring with you as the one waiting for me at the altar -- but I can’t picture it anymore. It seems like another lifetime”

  “So.. you can’t see us getting married or having kids? Growing old together.” The expression on his face softened and it looked as though he might cry

  “I’ve been trying to figure out all day what’s been wrong. Why I feel out of place, why things don’t feel… natural, and looking through this scrapbook finally made me realize”

  “That you don’t love me?” he said bluntly, looking at the ground and you brought your hands to his

  “That we haven’t acknowledged anything.” You replied, “we never talked about what happened when I cheated, we never talked about all the fighting and arguing that happened before we broke up. And after my accident, we just picked up where we left off. Which should’ve, and could’ve, been great but it was like there was all of this stuff still unsaid. You’ve never talked about how you felt before we broke up, you never talked about how hurt you were until we started yelling at each other all the time. I love you, B, and I always want you in my life, whatever that looks like, but I can’t just continue on with this relationship if nothing is going to change. If we both just have to continue pretending that we’re the people we were four or five years ago.”

  “Sure, we’re different than when we first met,” he admitted, “but if I can get over what happened in the past, and you can, do we have to bring it back? Can’t it just stay in the past?”

  “Come on, Bren,” you sighed, “I think you know the answer to that”

  “You want me to tell you everything? To be painfully honest with you about everything that went down?” he started, turning his body to yours, “I can’t. Not really. I can tell you that it hurt like hell when I found out you were with someone else. I was pissed off at the two of you because I thought that our relationship was stronger than that but I loved you enough, and I knew you loved me enough, that I knew we would be okay. And we were. And then we weren’t. And then we were. And I never stopped loving you or wanting to spend my life with you and that car accident just made me realize how much I need you in my life. So, yeah. I want to put everything in the past because I believe we can leave it there and still be us. I don’t care about what happened before we broke up, I care about what happens now and what we mean to each other now.” You were a bit shocked by his words and didn’t know what to say, so you were silently staring at him for about five minutes before he called out your name

  “Just promise me, you’ll talk to me,” you finally said, “whenever something is wrong. I don’t want us to be in that place where we just fight all the time. Not again. Okay?”

  “Okay” he smiled before pulling you close to him, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you deeply.

  “We do need to talk about this scrapbook thing though” you joked, pulling away from the kiss for a second

  “Hmm mmm nope,” he mumbled, pecking your lips between words, “not now. Right now, I’m just gonna kiss you until we both fall asleep.”

  “And then tomorrow we talk about it?” you tried but he just shook his head and continued planting kisses along your jawline, toward your neck and back to your lips; leaving you to ignore the scrapbook for now.