#so ive done act 1 so many times and only actually been in act 2 once

[kirkwallguy]

are there any crpgs that u would recommend? i'm still mourning what veilguard could have been and want something else to play :')

i feel like all my recommendations are entry level because these games are SO long it's taking me forever to work through even the most popular ones. but my main recs for someone disappointed with vg are:

rogue trader - i think this was maybe the first rpg i finished after playing vg? it was so refreshing to play a game that doesn't treat you like a child, it lets you roleplay the nastiest most evil character ever while beating you with the consequences of your actions the entire time. the main story is just Fine and falls apart towards the end but the companions and the general atmosphere make up for it sooo much.

disco elysium - recommending disco elysium on tumblr feels redundant but if you HAVEN'T played it and want a crpg that deals with politics and lets you roleplay a variety of viewpoints. well. it's disco elysium.

planescape torment - i'm actually working my way through this one for the first time right now (very slowly) and it's good! super heavy on writing with nice prose without being overwrought (which is an issue i have with a lot of crpgs that try too hard to be wordy). it's pretty dated and actually giving me more trouble than i usually have with this era of crpg, but there are plenty of guides out there for the puzzles.

bg1/bg2 - if you want more bioware then the original baldurs gates are soo worth a shot. i still haven't finished bg3 but i've played these through multiple times. there's a bit of a learning curve that can be frustrating (you start VERY weak. a mage will have 5 hit points and a tutorial rat will kill you) but once you get past it the games are just so fun - there are so many guides and tutorials out there, and in theory if you can enjoy origins this shouldn't be a massive leap. the writing is pretty silly but i really enjoy the story, the first game attempts a very rudimentary morality system that ties to the main quest and it's pretty cool to see it in action. the second game is also way more advanced than the first and imo its companion quests are better than dai's.

fallout 1/2 - the original fallout games are kind of known for having really good roleplay, interesting political commentary/satire and branching choices. i personally really don't vibe with them (not a massive fallout enjoyer ngl. new vegas is fun but overall i'm just not into the setting) but i feel like they're not talked about on here as much as some other crpgs so i thought id mention them.

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

I do not find it reasonable that the term "ashkenormativity" is frequently used to mean "asheknazi jews, aka the white european ones, are racist, colorist, and even antisemitic against other jews". not only is that an improper definition with loads of information, it fails to recognize that the people who are most likely to perpetuate ashkenormativity are goyim.

for the purpose of this post, I will be going with the definition that ashkenormativity is the belief that ashkenazi people are the default jews, which leads to them getting more respect, opportunities, recognition, etc. goyim, especially in the western world, have likely only been exposed to ashkenazi jews, meaning that they are likely to view them as the blueprint. they are simply drawing conclusions from the available information, which in my eyes is not a huge issue. the true problem arises when they learn about other types of jews and immediately decide that we are "improper". because we don't fit their idea of what a jew looks like, acts like, etc., we are either bad jews or not jewish at all.

it is not the fault of ashkenazim that goyim think this way, and it is not their responsibility to fix it. it is also not their fault that most jews in the western world are ashkenazim. it is absolutely the responsibility of goyim to learn that there are many types of jew and we are still one people.

ashkenazim are less likely to spread ashkenormativity than goyim because they are exposed to other jews more often. they may have different norms than a sephardi, mizrahi, etc. jew would, but they're usually able to recognize that we are all jews with a shared culture. and by usually I mean I can count on 1 hand the number of times an ashki jew genuinely thought they were better than us. 2 hands if we're counting repeated offenses from the same person. I believe that has nothing to do with their heritage and everything to do with them being an asshole. point is, learning by observing other jews is an effective tool to combat prejudices. the more examples you see of a non-ashki jew, the more likely you are to correct yourself when you promote ashkenormativity.

i feel like a fun exercise would be to compare 2 separate interactions ive had with a goy and a ashkenazi jew. both contain examples of ashkenormativity. neither is significantly worse than the other so they are close enough to compare.

interaction with goy:

context is we were talking about jewish traditions and it got to the topic of food. I actually cooked a ton this year i didnt know what I was in for.

me: I won't cook that much this year, but usually id eat a lot of unleavened cakes and rice for passover

goy: i thought you guys ate matzah

me: I mean yeah but we eat other stuff too. im sephardi so I get more options which is fun (this was said as a joke, not judging anyone)

goy: oh so you're not really jewish then?

me: no im still jewish, Im just not ashkenazi and we have some cultural differences

goy: but like you're not jewish religiously, right??

me: I mean im not orthodox but yeah im still a religious jew. i just practice based on my culture its not hard to get

goy: wouldn't it be easier to just do what everyone else does though

me: yeah I just like doing this more it's fun for me

goy: yeah whatever I dont get this im done

interaction with ashki jew:

context is i was at shabbat dinner chilling on a couch and talking to a friend i made

ashki jew: so you know that shul down by (location)

me: the what?

ashki jew: ...the shul??

me: I've never heard that word in my life what is that

ashki jew: its just the synagogue. you've never heard that word before?

me: no i was so confused ive always just called it synagogue. sometimes the old people would call it kal never shul though

ashki jew: ok just like tell me if I confuse you with my yiddish again

I feel as if the differences between these interactions is quite clear. so, I wont go into heavy detail analyzing them. the basic idea is that during the conversation with the goy, I kept explaining myself and they refused to listen. they believed that ashki jews were better than me and that they themselves were also better than me. I was essentially told that I do not know anything about judaism because in their eyes I am not truly a jew. during the conversation with the ashkenazi jew, they explained themselves immediately because we are equals. they know we are both jews and we're more similar than we are different. it surprised them that I didn't know what shul meant, yet they did not use that as an excuse to tear me down.

I truly think people do ashkenazim a disservice by assuming that they are power hungry jews (*cough* antisemitic stereotype *cough*) who will stop at nothing to be better than the sad little sephardim and mizrahim. in reality, most of them, like my lovely friend, are more than willing to learn and share with other jews. the people who are truly hurting us are the goyische antisemites.

this is gonna sound hypocritical because I just made a long ass post about an intracommunity issue, however, can we please just focus the majority of our energy on the actual antisemites who are truly hurting us instead of other jews? this is an important topic that we need to discuss it's just not the most important thing us jews have going on. other jews are my friends and I refuse to be separated from them for the approval of goyim, and I know they will show me that same kindness.

note: I am just not feeling like myself today forgive any weird writing mistakes ill fix them later or maybe not

[xxun-punxx]

i think dess is the knight, but for a reason i havent seen anyone else suggest

long post ahead! may be very rambly and kind of hard to read at times since i have difficulty articulating my thoughts. so warning ahead if you have trouble reading word salad. tldr: dess is trying to get home

so ive been watching a lot of deltarune theory videos recently. with the incoming chapter 3 and 4 release ahead i wanted to re-familiarize myself with a lot of the fandom discussion surrounding the games themes and meta-narrative. this means ive also been eating a heaping helping of knight theory videos. i was always a long-time believer in multi-knight theory, that the act of becoming a knight could be adopted by anyone. over time, i started to wonder about a couple of things about the functionality of light and dark worlds and how that could relate to the identity of the knight. ive heard some VERY interesting theories out there about who it could be, but ive always found that these theories struggle with one question--

HOW

how was the knight able to make the chapter 1 fountain without being caught by anyone in the school? how was the knight able to make the chapter 2 fountain while noelle and berdly were in the computer lab? how, how, how. i think the assumption this entire time has been that these fountains NEED to be made in the light world in order to access the dark world. what is undeniable is that a lightner is necessary in order to make one, as seen with Queen in chapter 2. as a reminder, the only reason why she sought out noelle was for her to be able to make one. i say this because i feel like there's one major aspect of the game that we all just kind of... gloss over????? and its a one-off bit that happens at the end of chapter 2 which prompts ralsei to explain the negative impact of fountain creation.

we all remember this, right? berdly almost makes another dark fountain. another dark fountain... in a dark world. he's already in the dark world. and yet he's able to almost make another dark fountain. like i said i feel like we all collectively GLOSSED over this scene way too quickly and its only now that im realizing the implications of this.

lightners are not only able to make dark fountains in the light world, but in the dark world as well.

again, this is played off as a bit, but immediately afterward ralsei literally yells at him to stop because this is DANGEROUS. like. world-ending levels of dangerous as too many dark fountains means that the titans could emerge and the roaring would occur levels of dangerous.

this doesn't imply that creating a dark fountain in a dark world would cause the roaring, rather that its the assumed consequence of too many dark fountains

however, im getting off track here. what primarily needs to be focused on is this--

Lightners are the only ones capable of creating Fountains.

Creation of a Fountain can be done in both the Light World AND the Dark World.

Fountains create bridges between the Light World AND the Dark World.

With that in mind, let me actually get to what I wanted to talk about-- I think that December Holiday is the Knight.

"but pun!!" you may be saying, "dess is missing remember????"

yes. i do remember. which is why i think she's the knight. we know that through flavor text and general world-building that something happened TO dess. its very unlikely that she died and instead went missing prior to the events of the game. we know this because of Noelle's search history results as revealed in chapter 2 with the calendar marked with December 25th (December Holiday). if she WAS dead, why would she be looking her up? moreover, Spamton Sweepstakes makes a very clear connection between Dess and the phrase "FIND HER". this implies that Dess can't be dead, but what exactly happened to her? while there isn't a lot of concrete proof as to what happened to Dess, what we do know is that this is an event which haunts the narrative of deltarune. so many of the characters, particularly between the dreemurs and the holidays, were forever changed by her disappearance.

One very popular theory surrounding Dess' disappearance has to do with the Bunker. as we all know, the weird ambient noise that plays when you're near the bunker is a slowed down version of the garbage noise related to Gaster. this theory is supported by elements such as the goner code, a string of unused text which displays the dialogue of an unseen character.

There's a reason why this is so damning. the mentions of this person being somewhere that is "dark" and "quiet" has led many people to assume that Dess is in some kind of Gaster-y dimension similar to a Dark World. i'd say that this is furthered by some similar dialogue spoken by Spamton during one of his interaction options in his shop when selecting "FEAR".

"But it sounded like they were talking to you"? I don't think its a coincidence that this might be a continuation of that goner code possibly leaking into the game. plus, its not unfounded to think that Spamton would KNOW about Dess considering that the page with the guitar was found on the Spamton Sweepstakes website (and i swear another thing about not being able to "find her data" in reference to someone asking him where dess was but i cant find this for the life of me).

so like. where am i taking all of this connection between the goner code and gaster and dess? and how does this relate to her being the knight? dw gang this is when everything starts to come together.

Most of this theory relies on the idea of the "Dess wandered into the Gaster zone from the Bunker" consensus that i mentioned earlier. moreover, im also applying the theorized idea of the Depths, a place in which all darkness originates from. (the idea for that comes from here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZvsFCYuL2w)

Let's say that she DID go missing in such a way that she would end up in the Depths or some place Gaster-adjacent. as much as everyone back up in Light World is looking for her, i don't think its impossible to assume that Dess is trying to find her own way back. you would too if you inexplicably went missing, right? plus, Dess doesn't seem like the type of character who would wait for someone to find her or even fall under the "damsel in distress" trope, not with how Noelle and everyone else talks about her being so protective of Noelle. she seems very self-assured and capable, which means that not even she would just sit around waiting for someone to save her.

What if Dess is opening Fountains from the Depths/a Dark World/somewhere in order to find her way home?

As stated earlier, it is 100% possible to make a Fountain while IN the Dark World itself. while we don't know what the implications of this is, and as stupid as it sounds, could it be possible to make a Dark-Dark World? A connection to a world that is perhaps... dark, darker, yet darker? to create a Fountain is to create a connection between the Light World AND the Dark World. what if, by making a Fountain in a Dark World, you make a connection between both worlds AND the Depths/a Dark-Dark World/wherever Gaster is/wherever Dess is? it would help to explain a lot of the issues of "How" that i mentioned way earlier surrounding Deltarune theories. the Fountain in chapter 1 was made by her. the Fountain in the computer lab was also made by her, which explains how a Fountain was able to appear at all despite Berdly and Noelle being in there. so many people are working with this idea that Fountain creation is purely exclusive to the Light World and, as such, the Knight has to be someone in Hometown.

obviously, knowing what Kris does at the end of chapter 2, the is an inherent implication of there being multiple knights. however, i think the rest of the game's Fountains will be a direct consequence of Berdly's actions at the end of chapter 2.

Dess is making Fountains in order to find a way home. Berdly learns how to make Fountains and, by extension, everyone else who was there for it. It's how Kris learns how to make Fountains, which inevitably means that someone else from the main cast will TRY to make a Fountain as well. or, even more concerning, try to do what Berdly couldn't-- make a Fountain while IN a Dark World. at some point, someone from the main cast will try and use the Fountains as a way to find Dess.

that likely being Noelle.

but i feel thats enough speculation. i would be interested to see if this is an idea that other people have had. ik this is kinda a bad time to be making deltarune theories considering that chap 3 and 4 come out in like a couple of weeks but its better to get all my thoughts out NOW rather than later. ofc, i also want to acknowledge that this theory probably has a lot of holes in it and doesn't explain things such as the shit Seam says about the Knight. i didnt really think of the little details, mostly just the conclusion of all this.

let me know what you all think! sory for any misspellings that may be present

[11queensupreme11]

Im sorry but WHAT are these ancient fucking laws I keep reading about in so many percy jackson fics 😭😭 I read the books a long time ago, so I don't remember it, but I thought it was just a fanon thing to explain why the gods are neglectful?

OKAY IM REALLY GLAD YOU ASKED THIS CUZ YOU'RE NOT ALONE

ive seen so many comments in arsenic blues from ppl who believe that ALL the gods are being WILLINGLY neglectful towards their kids, and that is NOT true.

the ancient laws are a canon thing in pjo. it's been mentioned many many times, but through scattered discussion. here's a list of dialogues that talk/mention it (the quotes were taken from this helpful reddit post btw)

example 1:

"Do not judge the Lord of the Sea too harshly," the Nereid told me. “He stands at the brink of an unwanted war. He has much to occupy his time. Besides, he is forbidden to help you directly. The gods may not show such favouritism.” “Even to their own children?” “Especially to them. The gods can work by indirect influence only. That is why I give you a warning, and a gift.”

example 2:

“Permission to kill, my lady?” I couldn’t tell who she was talking to, because she kept her eyes on the manticore. The monster wailed. ‘This is not fair! Direct interference! It is against the Ancient Laws.”

example 3:

"Why show yourself now?" Luke demanded. His shoulders were tense, as if he expected a fight. "All these years I've been calling to you, praying you'd show up, and nothing. You left me with her." He pointed toward the kitchen like he couldn't bear to look at his mother, much less say her name. "Luke, do not dishonor her," Hermes warned. "Your mother did the best she could. As for me, I could not interfere with your path. The children of the gods must find their own way."

example 4:

“Luke, I care very much,’ Hermes said slowly, ‘but gods must not interfere directly in mortal affairs. It is one of our Ancient Laws. Especially when your destiny ...” His voice trailed off.

example 5:

My heart sank. Chiron was right, but it was all we could muster. For once I wished Dionysus were here, but even if he had been, I didn’t know if he could have done anything. When it came to war, gods were forbidden to interfere directly. Apparently, the Titans didn’t believe in restrictions like that.

example 6:

Hermes readjusted the mailbag on his shoulder. ‘Percy, the hardest part about being a god is that you must often act indirectly, especially when it comes to your own children. If we were to intervene every time our children had a problem ... well, that would only create more problems and more resentment.

example 7:

“Besides, even if the other gods suspect Hades – and I imagine Poseidon does – they couldn’t retrieve the bolt themselves. Gods cannot cross each other’s territories except by invitation. That is another ancient rule. Heroes, on the other hand, have certain privileges. They can go anywhere, challenge anyone, as long as they’re bold enough and strong enough to do it. No god can be held responsible for a hero’s actions. Why do you think the gods always operate through humans?”

example 8:

"Now, a god cannot usurp another god's symbol of power directly-that is forbidden by the most ancient of divine laws. But Zeus believes your father convinced a human hero to take it."

don't get me wrong, there are gods who couldn't care less about their kids and willingly neglect them, but it's veeeery wrong to believe that ALL the gods are like this. it's canon that gods cannot interfere in their children's lives, even if they want to. they don't neglect their kids because they don't care about them, they do it because they don't have a choice.

hermes and luke's relationship shows this perfectly. hermes IS a good dad (he's actually one of the best imo). he knew what luke's fate would be and TRIED to change it even though everyone knew it would be impossible, but he was desperate anyway because he loved his son and wanted to try and save him.

unfortunately, every attempt to change his fate always failed (because duh, can't change fate): he sent luke on a quest to "build him up as a hero" only for luke to fail and get a scar, asked percy and annabeth to save him, but they failed too (he even snapped at annabeth for failing to go with his son).

sooo yeah! like i said, there are some godly parents that willingly neglect their kids because they don't care about them, but that's not the case for every single god. there ARE gods who care about their kids, they're just forbidden to interact with them, and that means they can't raise them either.

[sctir]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @koipalm helloooo thank u for tagging me kii!!

1) how many works do you have on ao3?

48 in total!

2) what's your total ao3 word count?

a little over 139,000 words!

3) what are your top five fics by kudos?

lol so im pretty sure all of them are on my other accounts… on ranyuan its rebellious phase, to eat well, let the light in, no signal, and cough syrup!

4) what fandoms do you write for?

mostly orv and sctir, but….these days all i do is write stuff about my OCs…

5) do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try to!! sometimes i forget to and then its been like a year and it feels awkward to answer…other times the comment is v short or just a string of hearts so all i can say is a thank you anyways

6) what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

another side account work…on ranyuan i pretty much only post fluff and stuff!!

7) what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

rebellious phase i think… just cause its a fix-it!

8) do you get hate on fics?

not on ranyuan :D

9) do you write smut?

yeah 😔they get nasty with it too

actually on a slightly related note sometimes i have dreams where i get into discourse on tumblr because my ocs r too freaky but its never w the ocs that i think it should be? Like its usually gentverse but their worst crime is like the…i guess involuntary confinement is bad huh. Never mind. 

10) do you write crossovers?

i haven’t yet but occasionally i get the urge to…i think crossovers are a fun way to explore worldbuilding!! i floated the idea of a sctir x sl crossover just for the worldbuilding a while ago

11) have you ever had a fic stolen?

nnnot that im aware of? i feel like most fandoms ive been in are too big at this point for me to be able to tell anyways

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah a few times!! its always exciting and i think its v flattering lol :> any time i get a fic translated to french its always fun to read through it, it feels like reading a totally different fic? 

13) have you ever cowritten a fic before?

its…hard to say? closest is my bleu fics i think, but i dont even think that really counts. i’m very nitpicky and critical of my own work, so i dont imagine id be fun to cowrite with

14) what's your all time favorite ship?

this is tough…hjyj is special to me though i will say

15) what's the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

every time i look at the document for my current mafverse fic i want to commit unspecified acts of violence. in terms of fandom fic i would love to finish my necromancer yj fic that i was supposed to have done for the big bang...

16) what are your writing strengths?

writing conventions..? 

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

all of them /joke

i struggle with pacing a lot of the time especially because i rarely outline my works and i write completely in order, as in if i get stuck somewhere i won’t jump to another scene and come back to it. i find my dialogue can sound very stilted and my action scenes get confusing sometimes, and there are some phrases i re-use a lot…in general my writing speed is also very poor 😔 

18) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i feel like it kinda…depends? ive seen cases both well and poorly executed of authors putting another language in the fic and also not doing so

19) first fandom you wrote for?

i wanna say…fairy tail? or fullmetal alchemist? its been a loooong time!

20) favourite fic you've ever written?

i actually really quite like rebellious phase :D!

tagging @kkomaism @yersina @butterfirefly if you guys would like :3!!

[lulushults]

wrote something like this about natsu, now for my best girl lucy💖

i could honestly write on and on about lucy and how i think her past really was and how it truly affected her, so i’ll try to keep this short!

lucy’s childhood starting normal for her, she had 2 loving parents that did everything to ensure her happiness. then her mum died, and her life kinda went to shit.

lucy didn’t just lose one parent the day layla died, she lost both. jude started being neglectful and from the handful of short scenes we see in the anime slightly mentally abusive towards lucy.

i believe this was because of multiple reasons. number 1 because of lucy’s similar resemblance to layla. from what we’re shown it seems like layla and jude were incredibly in love even before they had lucy, to me it seems like after layla died he couldnt bare to look, or be around lucy due to how similar they looked. it caused him too much pain to be constantly reminded that layla was gone and she was never coming back.

number 2 pretty much links into the previous one, i think because of how much pain laylas death caused him he isolated himself to throw himself into his work to avoid facing the reality that was layla’s death.

however, for lucy to be 10 years old after just losing her mother, and then for her father to start acting like he doesnt give a shit about her, that must have been so confusing for her. to have your life completely flipped on its head within a couple of days probably led lucy to be so confused as to why jude wanted nothing to do with her anymore.

lucy was pretty much isolated from the outside world entirely, she had no friends her age, wasn’t allowed to attend school and therefore had to spend all day every day entertaining herself because she had no one to play with. not only this but she also had no one to talk to about how she was feeling at such a young age, she had no one to confide in and ask why her dad didn’t love her anymore, no shoulders to cry on, nothing.

this may be a personal headcannon of mine, but i believe lucys mental health as a young child was incredibly bad. to spend 6 long years almost entirely alone with no friends can for sure have long lasting effects. the reason why lucy was probably so sure about running away and living on her own was probably because she had already been raising herself for so many years beforehand, so whats the difference if she actually left.

lucy could have also blamed herself for judes behaviour, thinking that she had done something wrong to make him so mad at her all the time.

lucy, also, so obviously has intense abandonment issues. the way i see it, she’s been alone for so long that now she finally has friends and a family that care about her again, she never wants to let them ago. that would also explain why she was so heartbroken about natsu leaving her for a year, and if i remember correctly im pretty sure in the dub she literally says ‘i will be lonely’ when shes running after him.

i think her abandonment issues are more closesly related to natsu and happy than the entire guild however. natsu and happy were her first real friends her age, natsu helped her too reach her dream after knowing her for about a day without a second thought, she owes everything to him. i think the idea of her first real friend leaving her to be alone again absolutely breaks her heart.

my poor girl probably has so much going on in her head that she doesn’t want to remember. i can’t begin to imagine how horrible it must be for a 10 year old girl to be completely abandoned by her father after losing her mother. i really see myself in lucy, ive spent alot of my life with no friends so its easy for me to identify how horrific it makes you feel.

lucy may even struggle with her mental health outside of her past, for her to join the strongest team in fairy tail after every other member had been training since they were kids. for her to be surrounded by people who can so easily defend themselves in a fight when she could hardly hold her own and depended so much on her spirits thats sure to cause other issues. to feel like your the weak one in the group holding everyone back can cause so much guilt without even realising. (before anyone thinks it, im a lucy stan and im proud of her growth as a mage, im only talking about how she was when she first joined the guild)

lucy also, atleast around the beginning of the show, hated being connected to the heartfilia family. she point blank refused to let anyone outside of the guild know who she really was. theres a large possibility that if people were to find out her full name, some people around the world would resent lucy for joining a guild, thinking that shes selfish for taking jobs to earn even more money. lets not forget the time the guild belitted her behind her back for pretty much this exact thing, calling her a brat.

the way i see it, one of the reasons lucy was so infatuated with fairy tail growing up was probably because of their obvious connection with one another. she craved for a home, for people to love and care for her just like how her mother did before she passed. she craved love from other people after being shunned from her own father for so long.

before i shut my mouth, i’ll touch on something that i think pretty much every lucy fan is aware of and thats the reason behind why she dresses the way she does. her entire life lucy was forced into stuffy dresses she very clearly did not enjoy wearing and was told she wasn’t allowed to show any skin as its not ‘lady like’. lucy dresses she way she does to show her recent independence and escape from such a strictly ruled environment. to go from showing no skin at all, to wearing shorts skirts and little crop tops, shows that it’s her way of trying to re-discover herself after being bossed anound and told what to do and wear for so long.

[interlacrimas]

hm, i guess its time for headcanons!! (Since its been a while since ive been here or on tiktok, i thought maybe it would be fun!

Hajime is allergic to peanuts, he never tell anyone because he just assume that it was unnecessary info, till when he ate something kazuichi made to him and he fell on the ground, almost dying

Fuyuhiko HATES yakult, as lactose intorelant, he had to drink it very often, mostly as a child and he absolute hates it

Hajime hates physical touch, but he pretend to like it, Fuyuhiko loves physical touch, but he pretend to hate it

Fuyuhiko can tell if izuru is the one talking easily, sometimes people go and say things like "hajime is acting so different today", he stares and just say "probably because it isnt fucking hajime"

hajime smells just like those baby soaps, he rarely uses perfurme, fuyuhiko like those expensive perfumes, he really likes those, specially the strong ones, but he rarely uses them either, because he is embarassed to

Both have shitty families on different ways (btw, this isnt fully headcanon, most of this topic is in fact canon) fuyuhiko's family is violent, they often fight, to the point of death threats between his parents, he had to grow up in an extremely hostile enviroment. Hajime on the other hand had parents who were neglectful, they probably just didnt care about him, his urge for feeling special probably came from this, hajime's parents wanted a trophy, not a child, and they probably let hajime do a LOBOTOMY because, 1 - he would finally be useful, and 2 - his presence wont be missed

Hajime and fuyuhiko both have a hard time sleeping, they spend the night awake talking to each other, sometimes they fall asleep in the middle of the chat, other times they just spend the whole night awake

hajime loves talking about his interests, but never got the chance to do that, once fuyuhiko found out about this he made hajime talk to him about it for hours, fuyuhiko actually make good commentary about it and seem to actually care and get his excitement, which makes hajime happy

Hajime and fuyuhiko are both overworkers, and always call out for each other, even thought they do the same mistake

Fuyuhiko is totally Japanese, hajime isnt, as thought as he is Japanese descendant, he is also latin American, specifically brazillian, he was on brazil between the age of 0 to 10, he then moved to japan, even if it was pretty early on his life, hajime likes the dishes from his homeland and make fuyuhiko try them, fuyuhiko fell in love with the brigadeiro, which was sweet just like he likes, hajime makes them often for him, sometimes when fuyuhiko is alone at his Office he eats them

Just like fuyuhiko like sweet things, hajime doesnt mind food, but he like bitter and spicy food, like REALLY MUCH, fuyuhiko thinks he is insane to drink Juice without sugar or to eat so many spicy things without a cup of water, i guess hajime's favorite bitter thing is...fuyuhiko! I love this analogy, like hajime is a sweetheart and fuyuhiko like sweets, its only far for the opposite to happen!

hajime when he gets mad he often stop talking and just ignore the person he is mad about, fuyuhiko not only mock him and his angry mood, but he often treat the person equally bad, he didnt even care about the motive, he just did, fuyuhiko didnt ask why he was mad thought, he knew it was frustrating hearing this type of question, but still he says things like "just say how much of a bastard this piece of shit fucking is! I have no idea what this mother fucker done but if youre mad it must been pretty mess up"

They like to watch EVERYTHING togueter, hajime is the type to say "no...please dont do it *character* dont do it youre gonna to die dont do it" for the TV, fuyuhiko is the type to "STOP GOING THERE ASSHOLE YOURE GOING TO DIE, COME BACK. COME BACK." In the end the character die and they both stop talking, but probably thinking the Same thing, that it was the most obvious thing ever

Fuyuhiko relationship with izuru is...weird, they often dont talk, they spend their time in silence, which is often more comforting then scary, fuyuhiko sometimes Braid izuru hair, fuyuhiko is aware izuru is just a repressed version of hajime, even if people try to make them different persons

And for the final headcanon, izuru wakes up early at 9:00 to watch mikudayo show, for some reason he likes it, he watched it in the past, and had a few memories that he didnt remember, so he started to watch those episodes everyday, the first time fuyuhiko saw him doing it was like "huh, hajime what are you doing awake right now" to realize it was izuru, he then see the mikudayo program and gets confused, how could izuru like it, he just silent watched too, fuyuhiko now likes the mikudayo program, he just dont admit to anyone

I HOPE YOU ALL LIKED!

[sunflower-bnuuy]

TECWR progress log - week 6

finished pages: 1

total pages: 8

another busy week lmao. keep having thoughts about how many pages i should be aiming for for a week and honestly, yeah, the more i think about it, the more i might just settle for 1 a week. i like to make the pages pretty and i want to have time to make other art still. also i want to improve upon my page composition + pacing and i think i perhaps need more time to do that.

maybe putting more effort onto the pages will also help prevent burnout because it will be more Fun tm ... RIR was technically a longterm comic project but it was like nowhere near as long as I assume TECWR will be. RIR was ~60 pages in total and I so far think that ACT 1 will be that long. uhhhhh. there's 7 acts

the page estimate ive been going with in my head (i have absolutely NO idea how accurate it will be) is around ~400 pages, which at one page per week will be like... 8 years which is really the one thing i'm worried about. im super excited to work on TECWR but ummmm working on it for 8 years sure sounds .... interesting

BUUUUUUUT we'll get there when we get there. at some point i will probably be able to do 2 a week easily-- when I did RIR i started out with 1 a week iirc, because i was very new to comics then, and i haven't done comics in like........ forever lmfao. so :P

i also revealed the title to some of my friends teehee... they like it... i think it's soooooo cool....

anyways. panel time (actually only half of a panel but uhhhhhhhh cope)

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Snapdragon and babies breath for the Rook flower asks!

you guys were on the same wavelength here haha thank you!! For the Rook flower asks :) for my Juniper Aldwir

Snapdragon: What’s the most selfish thing they’ve ever done?

Pre-game, Juniper definitely has some self-worth issues (being a veil jumper under Strife did NOT help there lmao), which she mostly covers up with bravado. I think she views the fact that she ended up leaving her former clan and the Veil Jumpers as selfish acts, even though the clan thing was complicated/Strife straight up kicks you out. so it's more regrets that if she'd been more agreeable/put aside what she thinks is right/compromise her personality, she could still be doing what she sees as an important job, rather than off traveling with Varric and feeling like she's not actually contributing where she should.

Post-game, she is going to fight to maintain access and control of the Lighthouse/Crossroads. While she has good intentions with this, she absolutely recognizes that a lot of it is because she's invested in learning more about them and doesn't want other groups coming in to fuck that up before she decides the best path forward for opening up access more.

Babies Breath: Would Rook want children? Do they ever have any?

I think she wants kids in a nebulous, far-off sort of way, and hasn't thought about the details/specifics much. I also think she is 1. reckless 2. impulsive 3. forgetful (or, preoccupied with 'more important things' is maybe a better way to put it), so is the most likely of any character i've made to get pregnant on accident. what even IS the birth control situation in Thedas??? there's bastards running around all over in the plots so we know it's not perfect. i haven't given any other of my DA protags children (what with Wardens having a hard time getting pregnant, Solas romance, and Hawke uhhhh well ive just put her through a Lot otherwise) so this is new territory for me lol.

So I do think at least the first kid she has with Lucanis was NOT planned, and only a year or two after the game events. I think this would also kind of force them to take a long hard look at their lives/work & Lucanis would have to have a crisis over raising his children as Crows or not. And Juniper about probably not putting herself in so many dangerous situations in Arlathan/the Crossroads. I haven't really worked out specific details in that regard, though I have considered giving them a pair of twins bc then I get to add in the extra chaos/angst Lucanis could have about siblings, but undecided if i wanna put poor Juniper through all that lmao. I DO think though that whenever the time comes to give birth she IS going to just ignore whatever Caterina's/Lucanis' elaborate Dellamorte Estate doctors and birthing plans were and fucks off to the forest to... idk i will invent some Dalish midwife or other from her clan or the veiljumpers. But yeah she lets them overplan and freak out and then sneaks off to the woods where things are practical and no-nonsense instead. She does send someone to tell Lucanis so he's still there in the end but lol. I just think its funny that he would be way more the detail-oriented plan for every contingency parent and she's more laid back and deals with the fuss by simply Opting Out.

[wolame-o-ccx]

would genuinely love to see your process for sketching out your comics!! ive wanted to make my own but i have never really figured out the process and end up overwhelmed- and you're one of the folks who makes stuff in a style that I kinda draw close to, and u do ur comics with pencil and paper- so if you wouldn't mind in the future, it'd be really cool to see how you actually get everything planned :)

This ask is so cute :( probably genuinely the biggest compliment I've ever received! Well, no waiting in the future! I'll tell you now what happens behind the scenes! :)

SO FIRSTLY, I'd like to clarify I am in no way a professional or even close to one, I never even looked up how to do comics, I just kinda do them and use what I've read from DC comics and Pinterest tips.

But! Personally, I find that making comics is fun and that's what I strive on. I won't lie when I say my comics are pretty bland, the surroundings are empty and lame but I think the character's expressions and body language make up for it, and especially the script. So altogether in this post, I'll be breaking down how my comics are made!

↓↓↓ if you're interested, open up the full post!

1 - Scripting

In both dialogue and character detail/placing!

I use a notes app for when I get ideas!

* I usually don't do specific dialogue, only stating the idea and then coming up with dialogue in my head, but there are some exceptions where I do write down pre-thought-out dialogues you can see in the examples I put below!

With the idea / dialogue in tow, we can go to character detail / placing. I don't know the actual word for it but basically how the character acts in a specific scene / dialogue!

Character expression is especially important when it comes to any type of art, be it comics or animation as it can tell a story with little to no dialogue!

* panels taken from 1 and 2 for context

From here you can clearly tell their expressions well! Be sure to exaggerate!

2 - Limit planning

With Tumblr's 10 images limit, as well as Instagram if you post there, it's important to note that limit and know when to end the comic with a good panel where it doesn't feel like it's supposed to continue UNLESS you're making two parts!

I can't tell you how many times I've ruined my sketchbook papers trying to get a perfect script but I've been doing it long enough that my brain has adapted to the limit and every comic I've done since adapting had been a perfect ≤10.

But even if you decide to go with two (or maybe even more) parts, you should make sure it ends well still! Like a book! Those spaces between paragraphs and chapters and such!

Take these for examples too!

* panels taken from 1 and 2 for context

So treat it like a book! I guess ?

3 - Panel placement

This isn't a necessity, but my personal way of drawing each panel is having it scattered around randomly around my sketchbook. I don't use strips or anything like that as it restricts me because using strips on paper is a whole lot harder than on digital. Because I have such a wide area to draw, I'm less restricted from drawing any excess things I want to add in case my dialogue doesn't fit the panel or so!

4 - Draw

Now to put it all together and make the comic! I usually already have my vision in mind so I can just go draw it without a light sketch layer, but I do recommend it!

What that is is essentially a sketch but drawn like.. your pencil is hovered above the page? Like you don't press down on it or something like that. Basically a guideline! So do that if you need it, and when you're satisfied with how it looks, you can draw it! And make sure it's clear!

After that, it's just picture and post! (Make sure you crop it right tho!)

4.5 - BONUS / TIPS

When I started posting Belos drawings, I never expected it to get any attention or even end up as a whole AU 😭 I just drew him in a babygirl hoodie and people ate that shit up so now it's an AU 💀 and because of that you need to prepare personalized tags!

Tags like pitmdau or sharing caleb au ! Very very useful for navigation

More important than tags, make sure you have a Masterpost!

I'm aware mine are unfinished and very messy and I'm trying to work on that right now but it's very difficult but people really need it so when making Masterposts, YOU HAVE KEEP UP WITH IT. I slacked of for ONE POST and now it's a mess.

Also another important note you can only put 100 links in one post so you have to make more Masterposts to navigate through the comics 😭

5 - Have fun!

When getting into comic making, I think really the most important thing to keep in mind is your enjoyment in making said comics. Sometimes some things can burn you out very quickly so when you're getting into things like this, especially when you're not getting paid, you gotta make sure you have fun doing it. It doesn't matter if it doesn't get a lot of traction or not, it only matters that you are enjoying making and posting them!

I've experienced MULTIPLE burn outs from making too many comics for my TOH AUs that at some point I just completely died and lacked motivation. But what drives me into making them are other people's enjoyment! Their enjoyment gives me enjoyment which gives me motivation to make more. Someday I'll know the AUs I've created will inevitably be over, at some point, but right now I'm just having fun with the small community I've built!

So make comics, and have fun!

I hope this was helpful in any way. I just want to clarify that, again, this is my way of making comics, and you don't have to follow anything I put into the post. I'm mostly hoping this was easy to understand as well. I'm more of a visual learner so making up the words to make this was kinda hard so I'm sorry if some parts didn't make sense. If anything, feel free to hit me with another ask or a PM! I know me not posting seems like I'm inactive but I promise I check Tumblr frequently 😭

Happy posting!!! :3

[foreseers-flower]

so i plan on romancing every companion in bg3 and have done lae'zel, karlach and shadowheart so far

im so scared for astarion's romance in particular bcos i'm way too sensitive emotionally for him i think which is so funny bcos i LOVED lae'zel and her romance arc its been my fav so far because the PROGRESS in her character and how she softened up was so...almost rewarding in a sense.

BUT HES SOOO SNIPPY !! sometimes im like :O and im god awful at reading people so im like what does this mean. im thankful for any tidbits you give on his character bcos it truly does help me understand him a bit better but damn if he doesnt make it hard.

i have a feeling im going to thoroughly enjoy wylls romance so thats something to look forward to at least. I CANT WAIT TO KISS HIS ANGEL FACE

i really need to finish my lae'zel and karlach romance sometime soon heavens to betsy. ive gotten through like 4 of the six companions now except them smh

SDJKKHJSK i think if you were good with lae'zels romance you'll do fine with astarions!!! i def agree that lae'zel feels VERY rewarding because even only halfway through her romance seeing her open up or speaking more softly to my tav nyx makes my heart melt every single time.

astarion is never openly hostile to his love interest he is just like really picky and also a bit of a bitch KJSDHK. and manipulative (or trying ro be).

there is actually an entire guide for astarion romance tips if you want that but its important to remember that astarion is like a bit of an old hag essentially. he's like explicitly NOT a good person and i don't think he ever becomes "good" in the traditional sense. like he's never some do-gooder.

over the course of his romance and the course of the game in general - he does soften and become considerate and that changes him. it's important to understand that astarion is primarily looking for 1. autonomy and 2. advantages. he's rlly paranoid (understandably) about cazador and every sort of cruel decision he approves of (and act of charity he DISAPPROVES of) is because he always wants to have the advantage in things where he can. true to his class and to who he is.

once you give him the space to become comfortable and the assurance that he can like... live. he becomes sort of like a loving wet cat in my opinion.

wylls romance is wonderful though it is barren in many ways. but getting to kiss him and also receiving neck kisses is enough to make me insane. JKDJFDS

[salvatoreren]

I finally watched AOT's last episode and frankly, I am not okay, I have been sobbing a river oh my fucking god.

Anyways, it was really good, as expected of MAPPA anyway, I was pretty much crying the whole episode actually.

I have complaints, mostly because of the not included anime, little things like not having the flashbacks of Armin of reading a book in the rain, the squirrels etc. etc. I would have love to see them in the market and the way to the boy who sought freedom, goodbye was not implemented, I WAS WAITING FOR THAT COME ON

The anime only scenes were good too, like Levi giving food to the refugees, falco and gabi, i wish we saw their outfits tho, they slayed with that one.

the way they played 13 no fuyu, im killing myself, ive been listening to that shit since 2022 which mind you was when i was active once more in aot, the fucking flashbacks my god, that was so tragic RAHHH

i also saw aot's op, EREN WITH A BOW? EREN WITH A BOW!!! MIND YOU I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE HUNGER GAMES SO IMMEDIATELY IM LIKE YES YES IT'S GIVING KATNISS EVERDEEN, WITH WHAT HIM BEING HUMANITY'S HOPE, ESP WITH THE FIRE COMING OUT OF IT FORMING A BIRD

THE SAME BIRD WE SAW ON S4 ENDING 1, oh my god, the opening was really cool omg, it perfectly showcased eren's journey, what he went through, despite being absent in the final chapters, it still showed Eren was still the protagonist...Which isayama did not understand when he made 139

Yes, I am bitter still with the ending, no, I am not hearing anyone out and no, I am not going to pour my disappointments with it STILL, here because yeah.

It's such a shame that's the last and final time we'll ever see it, devastating tragedy omg.

ARMIN AND EREN'S FINAL INTERACTION, IM GLAD THEY MADE THEM HOLD HANDS, THANK YOU MAPPA, PLS THE WAY THEY'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND WILL BE WAITING FOR EACH OTHER IN HELL, GAGGED, IM DEAD, MY ROMAN EMPIRE FOR REAL

Now that's out of the way.

It's been a long and fun ride, regardless, the final season has been going for what three years, i've been with this series for three years, it was fun really it was, this series took such a simplistic and cliched approach then twisted into something more complex and truly gutwrenching. 2020 was nothing without AOT, in my opinion, watching AOT broadened my media consumption, yanked me into the anime world and i already have so many fandoms i'm in.

2020 was a hard time too, i couldn't have done it without this bloody series, god, i remember aboarding the train hype, everything was everywhere, fics, art, videos, memes etc. All those I read influenced my writing style, all those theories made me think more critically, those memes and videos of it made me laugh. It's funny how a series like this one comforted me so much.

I remember being so traumatized by the first episode i'm like who the fuck would ever like this series with this much blood and that night i immediately searched for eren fics because i was like who is this boy i like him, i fucking dreamt of the beast titan, all those nights racing with my sister who could finish the series first, i literally woke up at 4 just to watch it before she could.

Fucking terrified which of my favorite characters were going to die next, literally sobbing over armin's death, god and the mindfuck with Marley and Eldians and Subjects of Ymir in the fray oh my god.

Can I just say, I wouldn't be who I was without AOT? Even with my cynical behavior, it's all because of it.

2021 who i never fail to reiterate and think fondly is good because of AOT as well, I figured wow, the final season is coming back, I should rewatch it again and so the hyperfixation began, i was sick too, almost dying too actually, dengue is dangerous and it was just a fond memory because i was watching aot and i acted like i never had watch these scenes in my life and despite feeling like dying i felt okay.

I was so batshit crazy when part 2 came out, that was the one that was actually peak AOT don't lie, I was literally screaming like i was giving birth OVER AN OPENING AND AN ENDING, i'll never forget any of it.

When I cried watching the whole episode, it really just occurred to me that this is really the end for AOT, i was only ever able to go through it because I have the anime and it what really kept the whole fandom alive, the anime's honestly the reason why it had this many fans as you can see.

And again the way it's heartwrenching for it to just be a simple series and then it's full blown war, jean and reiner holding out to each other, remembering how they used to be close and comrades then betrayals and war happened and it's all ruined.

The devastating realization of seeing the last few panels animated, watching the end flash through the screen, realizing there was nothing out of this now, no more next episodes, no more hype, it's gone and it's so devastating because how happy it made you, the way you'll never see these characters again, only in rewatches or art. But it's not the same.

I admit I don't feel as hyperfixated over it now, after getting burnt out of it last year, even good things go badly sadly and i was just here for eren now, but doesn't change the fact this series has nurtured my quarantine, i grew up with this series even if it was only recent, who changed the trajectory of my life and had me find my paths.

I'll never forget these characters who made my life, who brought life to the story, even if they were just moved by the plot now, i'll always have a soft spot for AOT, i will always love it, regardless how much i hate it, there will always be fondness within it.

It's kind of weird, really to see Levi who has done so much to the fandom just by existing and being drawn and animated now cease to exist? I suppose, looking at him feels weird like imagine comparing 2014 levi to 2023 levi now omg, that's where you really begin to realize how much time has passed and how much AOT has evolved AGAIN JKSDHJ

well, i'm still on eren's side, still hate what happened to him but i'll always love him, he is such an important character to me, i don't think i truly ever loved someone like him despite representing the total opposite of me, he just had that charm i suppose, his views are so hauntingly beautiful, idealistic, him representing hope, despite what he did, in the end he did what he could for himself and for his people IN MY HUMBLE ONION

eren yeager i'll always love you

i'm kinda scared what would happen to this fandom now, will it die now? Will it live? I doubt, I haven't even finished my eren fic and lol, either way i hope someone will still enjoy AOT, i hope still there will be new watchers.

This is long but this is just how I really feelt about AOT which I wholeheartedly do love and cherish with all the memories and the pain it gave.

Thank you Isayama for this world, for these characters, for these mindblowing revelations about war, life and freedom, for the heartaches and the joy.

Thank you WIT for raising AOT and truly breathing life to it, for garnering fans for it to be more appreciated.

Thank you MAPPA for continuing WIT's legacy, you are not the same but still delievered, thank you for carrying the final season and the fandom on your back, may you sleep well and have your deserved pay.

Thank you for the voice actors who breathed those memorable lines to be used in edits.

Thank you Linked Horizon for coming back, aot was iconic because of your openings.

Thank you AOT for everything.

[foxshowlwriting]

I think I’ve finally worked out the exact formula I need to get my brain to cooperate with me and actually write. (Broken down below). I’ve been working on writing a book for nearly 20 years, and just haven’t been able to get it where I want, it’s been through, technically, four versions, although version 1 really only lasted about a chapter before I scrapped it and started over with a new setting and theme. And I never quite finished version 3. But for this final re-write, I’ve worked out my plot holes, ditched a couple characters, because I really had too many, and found my magic formula.

I found some nice journals, with a cover that feels sort of fabricy and a spine that is definitely fabric. They look nice, and the pages are slightly more yellow than you typically see. They also have a flat spine. So basically, they look and feel more book like than most journals. So Ive been using those to hand write my book instead of using a computer. Something about handwriting on nice paper helps the ideas flow better. I only write on the fronts of the pages and leave the backs for notes or corrections on the page next to it. And I’m not editing/reworking things as I go. I plotted out the whole book, then each act, then a more detailed outline a chapter or two at a time. But after that I just write. I don’t try to edit/rework things as I write the way I’m tempted to on a computer, and I don’t try to get dialogue and phrasing just right. And that has made a world of difference. Just letting myself do whatever with the story and letting it get long in some parts and spending less time on other parts has made it so much easier to just keep plugging away.

I’m also using different colored pens that I change out every chapter, which makes it easier to go back and look for a specific moment in a specific chapter later on. It’s also nice to use a different color so each chapter feels new and exciting. And white out has been my best friend. I’ve been trying to keep everything looking as neat as possible, so when I do type it up, it’s easier to read.

And that’s been a huge help. Im using the three act structure, with act 2 split into two sub acts, and the first act took up a whole journal, but not more. So it seemed like a good time to pause and type it all up. And yeah, keeping things neat has made it less of a chore to type. I’m doing a little editing as I go, based on notes I made as I wrote, but mostly, I’m just using this as a way to review what the story has done so far as I get ready to tackle the next act.

I have written so much since working out my process and it’s something I’m really enjoying again. Also, I filled a journal and completed an act, which feels more satisfying than finishing a certain number of chapters or pages. Part of why it’s taken me so long to write this book is that I’ll write more or less the whole thing, and then get so burnt out or life circumstances get overwhelming, and I abandon it for years at a time. And then by the time I come back to it, I’ve changed as a writer and person so much, it’s easier to rewrite it. But this time, I feel like I can keep going and won’t need the hiatuses I’ve taken in the past.

So in list form, my personal formula is this:

-work out overall plot

-make an outline with more details using three act structure

-plot out a more detailed outline for chapters as you go, one or two at a time

-use a good quality journal and hand write your story

-only write on the front of the page, leaving the backs for notes

-don’t worry about perfecting dialogue and phrasing yet, just write and have fun with it

-use colored pens to make things more fun

-use white out instead of crossing things out to keep things looking neat

-type up what you’ve written at the end of each act, making small/easy edits as you go

-start truly editing and perfecting wording once the book has been written and typed in its entirety.

[clockworkslick]

oh. its 10/16. so short summary before i talk about nothing for a bit too long: a year ago i came up with the idea to actually go through with taking one of my silly ideas and turning it into something that other people could read, so i started drafting the concept of providence, a webcomic i make and thats updating everyday. more talking under the whatever.

so ive always made little stories that i would run through in my head for like two or three months when i had mental downtime, and then move on to some other goofy idea. this is either a totally normal thing or im a freak, honestly i have no frame of reference for how other people act. anyways i was home from college last year and i had this idea for an rpg fantasy story, initially an idea for playing modded minecraft with some friends (god i wish that was a joke), but i started writing shit down in a google doc. i wrote out a handful generic slots for various fantasy classes: witch, dryad, ranger, knight, vampire(not a class but i dont give a fuck), blacksmith, etc. and then i named some of them. i finished naming and writing out plot nonsense in november and changed the name of the comic from "Drive-By" to "Liberty" to "Providence."

honestly i think that was the easy part because its totally non-commital. unfortunately after that i had to actually start making the pages. the original plan was to finish act one before may, which was an optimistic goal to say the least, but also maybe if i didnt have to do anything else it would have been totally possible. or if i was just faster in general. anyways i started drawing everything at the end of december and then didnt stop for 6 months. actually thats a lie, i started drawing pages and havent stopped since then, but what i meant is that i started uploading the comic in may. i had a backlog of about 75 pages and the art change just in that time was nuts. comparing act 2 art to act 1 is more nuts but im not about to redraw the 170 pages of a1 just so that its APPEALING and PALLETEABLE. i learned way more about web design from doing this comic than from my actual web design class. like insanely more. you have no idea how little that class helped me with anything aside from making friends through mutual hatred of being poorly taught.

sixo de mayo (may 6th) came and i started doing this thing for real, and its been so surreal having people actually talk to me about these guys that have been in my head for months. my sister recently asked if deacon was my self-insert, which is sort of true but only in the sense that we both have social issues and like to be dumb on sort-of-purpose, and then she told me that her favorite character was reagan. theres not really any deep meaning behind her telling me or that reagan is my favorite too, but its just so surreal to me that people can have a favorite, or any opinion, on these characters i obsess over.

alright i think im done for now, i just wanted to talk about the comic on its sort of birthday, and also the day that the gang got pulled into the story. i mentioned that vaguely in the story once already, but im cool with being more direct about it. ill probably go on another rant again about this sometime, maybe on sixo de mayo, but probably sooner because im obsessive and like to type. happy birthday comic, heres to a million more. or however many years it takes to make a 5 act story at a rate of like 200 pages in 10 months. hopefully that number will go up.

[tonydaddingham]

totally agree with this re: aziraphale falling, and it's got the meta-ish brain portion ticking - on a slight tangent to your original point though, really sorry!!!

because right- ive thought about the possibility of aziraphale falling myself, and the only way i could see it happening (and, imo, making sense for both the character and the narrative) is for aziraphale to actively choose for it to happen. free will, etc. but even then - that still didn't ring true for many reasons, including the ones you've highlighted op... which then made me question what, actually, is falling?

stupid question, but what i mean by that is; hasn't aziraphale in essence already fallen? he thinks himself having fallen in job, and is prepared to accept it bc he thinks he did the right thing, but ultimately he remains, by all accounts, an angel. god is omniscient; regardless of crowley physically being able to escort him down to hell, god could punish aziraphale if she so wished. but she doesn't, and whilst that might just all be chalked up to ineffability, i wonder if aziraphale has assumed that god has forgiven him for his trespass; the first and last strike, if you will.

(which, for me, accounts for two things - 1. aziraphale's relationship with forgiveness, and 2. why, even after the events of job, he still carries on toeing the party (heavenly) line as time goes on).

but then we get to s1, when he very firmly goes against heaven at multiple points, and then eventually declares himself separate from it. so coming back to the original question; what actually is falling, anyway?

is it having your wings turn black, and swan diving into a lake of fire? or is it the act of turning your back on god, and her plan, and by extension all of heaven? because i'd personally argue that when it comes down to it, really, that is what aziraphale has done come the end of s1. if his actions, his choices, are seen as blasphemy against god, the unforgivable sin, then actually... does physically or metaphysically becoming a demon have to be the significant element of falling?

(not to mention how that could play into the symbolism of aziraphale removing his halo, and how it informs his decision to return to heaven - possibly without said halo)

back to your post though, i do wonder if there's something to be said for separating falling from becoming a demon- and that the difference may have been that aziraphale actually chose to do the former, in so doing preventing the latter. which would make sense for why metatron would want aziraphale to choose to come back to the fold, and why metatron would also prevent gabriel from, similarly, choosing to fall. a chain reaction of it amongst the angels - aziraphale being the first - could tip the balance, and suffice to say that would probably prove problematic for heaven in the coming events.

I Promise I'm Not Trying to Start Anything

I know the Golden Rule of Fandom: headcanon and let headcanon, theory and let theory. (Unless you say something ableist or hateful toward Aziraphale, obviously bc fuck you that's why.) So feel free to keep scrolling if this question bothers you.

But I'm a little puzzled, and again this is a good faith question, not passive aggressive, I promise it's not a shit post, *waves hands* ALL THE DISCLAIMERS but anyway why do I keep seeing theories and headcanons that Aziraphale is going to Fall? Or that he should Fall? Like that's a natural next step in his journey, something he needs to do or ought to do so he can be with Crowley.

I considered the possibility myself before seeing season two, but my friends, Falling isn't an option for him. It's off the table. Gabriel's trial made that clear. He WANTED to Fall, and Metatron said, "For one prince of heaven to be cast into the outer darkness makes a good story, but if it happens again it suggests an institutional problem."

As a manager of an unsustainable bureaucracy, the Metatron is kind of stuck. If he gives Aziraphale the boot, first of all he'll be giving Hell the nuclear codes, but also he'll have to admit that heaven isn't perfect and angels can make mistakes. That they can change and make choices and become something other than what they were created for. If he admits that, the whole system crumbles and his control is gone baby gone. He CAN'T make Aziraphale fall any more than he could Gabriel, bc then he'll have to admit things that he cannot admit.

What really bothers me is that people think that this is something Aziraphale needs to do in order to be free of heaven. I get the logic, but I do want to point out that Crowley isn't free either. Falling out of the frying pan and into the fire isn't character development. They need to take down the whole system , and that means joining together from opposite sides.

[hopeheartfilia]

ive decided im making this crotop tshirt today,and i keep wondering "how much more ridiculous will this endeavour get", as it goes on