#there have been several patches so i feel like i should restart

[kirkwallguy]

are there any crpgs that u would recommend? i'm still mourning what veilguard could have been and want something else to play :')

i feel like all my recommendations are entry level because these games are SO long it's taking me forever to work through even the most popular ones. but my main recs for someone disappointed with vg are:

rogue trader - i think this was maybe the first rpg i finished after playing vg? it was so refreshing to play a game that doesn't treat you like a child, it lets you roleplay the nastiest most evil character ever while beating you with the consequences of your actions the entire time. the main story is just Fine and falls apart towards the end but the companions and the general atmosphere make up for it sooo much.

disco elysium - recommending disco elysium on tumblr feels redundant but if you HAVEN'T played it and want a crpg that deals with politics and lets you roleplay a variety of viewpoints. well. it's disco elysium.

planescape torment - i'm actually working my way through this one for the first time right now (very slowly) and it's good! super heavy on writing with nice prose without being overwrought (which is an issue i have with a lot of crpgs that try too hard to be wordy). it's pretty dated and actually giving me more trouble than i usually have with this era of crpg, but there are plenty of guides out there for the puzzles.

bg1/bg2 - if you want more bioware then the original baldurs gates are soo worth a shot. i still haven't finished bg3 but i've played these through multiple times. there's a bit of a learning curve that can be frustrating (you start VERY weak. a mage will have 5 hit points and a tutorial rat will kill you) but once you get past it the games are just so fun - there are so many guides and tutorials out there, and in theory if you can enjoy origins this shouldn't be a massive leap. the writing is pretty silly but i really enjoy the story, the first game attempts a very rudimentary morality system that ties to the main quest and it's pretty cool to see it in action. the second game is also way more advanced than the first and imo its companion quests are better than dai's.

fallout 1/2 - the original fallout games are kind of known for having really good roleplay, interesting political commentary/satire and branching choices. i personally really don't vibe with them (not a massive fallout enjoyer ngl. new vegas is fun but overall i'm just not into the setting) but i feel like they're not talked about on here as much as some other crpgs so i thought id mention them.

[resusheart]

My heart surgery (part three)

After they had removed the breathing tube, I was able to look around properly for the first time. I saw there were three drainage tubes coming out of my chest. Because I was unable to lift my head up due to the pain, I was not sure exactly what part of my body they came out of, but in fact, two of them were each about two centimeters (almost an inch)  on each side of the lower end of my mid-sternum incision. The third one was right below my left breast. They were all draining blood and fluid from my chest. They went down to three containers that were sitting on the floor to let gravity help the draining. My urinary catheter was hanging by the side of the bed so I couldn’t really see it, but every now and then a nurse would come in and I would hear the clicking sound of the urine collection bag being opened and then drained. I also had a thin wire coming straight out of my chest, it had no electrode, it just protruded from the inside, it turned out to be the internal pacemaker they had placed directly into my heart muscle after I was taken off the heart-lung machine and my heart was restarted. As I had been monitored many times before, I knew that each colored wire was placed on an electrode in a specific spot. The red one, the most important, was placed under the left breast to monitor the apex of the heart, on the upper right of my chest, the white wire was connected to its own round white electrode, the same way, the black wire was on the upper left side of my chest, the green one was placed on the lower left side, and the brown was around the middle of my chest, a little more towards my belly, because there was a big white patch covering my whole incision so it couldn’t be placed there.  

I clumsily covered myself up, but the fact that I was totally naked under the sheet, and  didn’t even have underwear made me uneasy. Every once un a while, an alarm went off, but it was just the noisy one from the IV pump signaling something or the other. I felt in pain and was very thirsty, oh, how I wished someone would give me some water! but they wouldn’t. I felt warm at times, and chilly at others. The took my temperature quite often as I had begun to run a fever which I know is not a good thing, but at the time I wasn’t too drugged up to mind. Several times a day a doctor came into my room, took his stethoscope off his shoulders and listened to my heart intently. Placing the bell first on my upper chest and asking me to breathe as deep as I could, which wasn’t much, to listen to both my lungs. Then, ever so softly, he placed it all around my chest listening to my heart, sometimes closing his eyes to concentrate in what he was hearing. I just watched him in silence, knowing better than to interrupt him. Every time, after doing that, he smiled at me, said everything sounded fine excused himself and left the room. By this time, I was feeling unexpected pain on my left shoulder, right where my central line was. If this had been my first central line ever, I would’ve supposed that this was just part of the whole deal, but I knew this wasn’t right. A central line, after being placed should not be felt. And it was no small pain either. It hurt more than the drainage tubes or the incision itself. I asked for more painkillers, but they couldn’t give me more. I hated this, it was totally unexpected. I also hated feeling so vulnerable and naked. But there is pain you expect and can’t be helped and then there is the pain you just know is not supposed to be felt, and that night I told the doctors about it. They said it was normal, that while spreading my ribs, something must have gotten hurt and it was to be expected. I felt exhausted but couldn’t sleep. The pain was there all night and the next morning I told the attending physician again, and again he said it was normal. This day I was given a bed bath, it´s amazing how between four female and male nurses they bathe you, wash your hair, and change the sheets while managing to avoid pulling at the wires and tubes that come out of your body. I spent my time sleeping, thinking, and looking out the window. That afternoon, my cardiologist came by and asked me how I was doing. I told him about this strange pain I felt on my left side and knowing me so well, he asked for an X-ray to double check that everything was fine. Nothing seemed out of place, but he believed what I told him and asked me if I was aware that having that central line changed to another spot would mean having one inserted into my jugular vein. I said I just wanted the pain to stop, so a while after, I was taken to the OR and, while conscious, had a new central line inserted in my neck. After they checked the new one was working fine, they took the other one out and lo and behold, it looked like they had pulled an accordion out of my subclavian vein. I felt relief that that thing was no longer in, sticking it´s edges inside me. Besides, it appeared to have created a small hole on my vein, so the tip of the catheter was just a bit outside of it, therefore, I was only really receiving part of the pain killers they were giving me, while the rest was seeping into the inner part of my chest, where they weren’t of much help. After the procedure, they took me back to my room and I was able to sleep for a few hours.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Real Life Tasks With Ransom Drysdale

An Advent Calendar Of 24 Normal Human Tasks As Performed By A Huge Man Baby

Day 14: There Is Only One Way To Load A Dishwasher

Warnings: Bad Language Words

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

A/N- Oh we are getting closer. And this particular scenario happened between my father and me one night. Luckily no one cut themselves, but we were in a severe disagreement as to how sharp knives were to go into the dishwasher. Turns out I was the logical one. Don’t forget to keep an eye out for @what-is-your-plan-today​ and @ohthankevans13​ for there updates. 

Series Masterlist

There was the loud sharp sound of laughter from the outdoor patio, which Ransom joined in as well with his own genuine laugh while having a firm hold of your thigh under the table, his thumb sweeping back and forth over the soft material of your leggings while your hand was clasped over his in reassurance, easing his hand loose to weave your fingers through his. 

This evening a couple friends of yours came over to the house to visit and have dinner, which you knew Ransom had been a bit apprehensive with. Not that he didn’t like your friends, sure he did, they were perfectly nice people you had grown up with, Rick and Sandy. But they weren’t like Ransom’s usual friends, other people in the same arrangement he had been, trust fund kids who didn’t give two shits about anyone but themselves. Perhaps that was a good thing. He was still learning how this whole being married thing worked. 

So Ransom was a bit nervous all damn day, brushing it off though as in ‘He was Ransom Drysdale and did not give a shit what anyone thought about him.’ You knew this to be a lie, that he actually wanted to make a good impression on them. Just from the way he was acting all day, double checking there was enough wine and beer for your guests. That the house was generally picked up looking. He even offered to go pick up dinner, which you were not going to say no to. Writing out a list with a firm “Just pick up this list, NOTHING ELSE.” 

And it just raised your suspicions when he came home with steaks. High end expensive steaks that had been hand cut by the butcher at their local shop. You gawked at them as you had actually put burgers on your list. You peeked in the rest of the bags. There wasn't the buns, chips or anything else you had written. But the ingredients for grilled veggies, potato and garlic bread. 

“You didn't have to do this Ransom. I thought you were going to stick to the list?” You remarked as you looked at the steaks he so carefully let laid to rest on the kitchen counter before taking them to be grilled. 

“Well if we're going to entertain, we’re doing it right.” He responded and that's when it clicked, this was his way of showing he could take care of his family, be something more than what everyone thought him to be, so you dropped it. Going to your tiptoes, you pecked his cheek with a thank you, and went from there. 

Now it was the end of dinner, you felt Ransom relax more and all four of you enjoyed a fun conversation, some of which was Rick and Sandy filling Ransom in on some of your younger years, a devilish grin would spread across his face. “Oh trust me, she's still just as bad, just better at hiding it.” 

“Hush I'm an angel.” You made a move to gather some dishes when Ransom sprang up to take them from you. “You are the one who fully corrupted me Ransom.” you smirked at him, which you could see a bit of color rise in his cheeks and his eyes crinkling in the corners with a grin. 

“Something I take great pride in Princess. I got the clean up, you continue visiting.” He offered and you smiled a thank you while settling back down. Rick and Sandy gathered their plates, with nothing but praises for the whole meal, especially those perfectly grilled steaks, which you glanced at Ransom to see a slight satisfied smirk tugging at the corner of his lips before you turned back to your friends. 

Ransom headed back into the house from the patio with the plates and utensils, listening while you restarted the conversation. He didn't bother shutting the door, leaving it open to let the conversation flow into the house as well as the breeze of the evening. Flicking on the overhead light, he popped open the dishwasher and started to randomly put plates in wherever they fit as the dishwasher was already half full from the night before’s dishes as well as their breakfast ones. Then he started dumping the utensils into the tray lining the side made specifically for them. He wasn't paying attention though, forks were going in tines down or up, spoons shoved in any spot they would fit and the wickedly sharp steak knives went in handle down, their points glinting maliciously face up, ready to strike any unsuspecting hand. 

Which Ransom did, when he grasped another bundle to shove in, and his palm, slid along the tip of the knife along the meatiest part, near his thumb. 

A blossom of red spread on his hand, as well as a sharp surprising pain, making him jerk back and clatter the handful of forks across the dishwasher and floor. “Son of a Bitch!” He yelled rather loudly in shock as red droplets dripped over the dirty dishes and across the tile floor till he got to the sink and turned on the tap. He could feel a wave of naseau wash over him as his vision blurred a moment and sharpened seeing the red swirl down the sink. 

You happened to hear Ransom yelp and curse as the door was open, as well as Rick and Sandy who looked with concern towards the house. A glance over your shoulder showed Ransom standing at the kitchen sink, and you could see from there that his face was tensed and almost in pain looking. “Excuse me.” You said hurriedly and pushed from the patio table to rush inside. “Ransom? Oh god what happened?” You grabbed a hand towel to press against the gash on his hand to get the bleeding to stop, his face whiter then usual. “Breath Ransom, don’t pass out.” You tried to draw his attention to you instead of at the red welling up again before you pressed the towel against it. 

He hissed when you pressed down from between clenched teeth. “Fucking knife got me while I was loading the dishwasher.” 

You glanced at the dishwasher and could see the mess that it was left in. Knowing you would have to set it straight, especially the knives, as half of them appeared to have been tossed in point up. 

“Christ Ransom, you gotta put the knives point down for this reason.” You said hurriedly as you pried the towel up to take a peek at his hand. “We have to take you to the emergency room, this is pretty deep. You are going to need stitches.” 

“Nah- I should be alright.” He started when he wobbled a bit, his other hand grasping the edge of the counter. Its that moment Sandy poked her head in. 

“Do you guys need any help?” 

You were immediate before Ransom could protest. “How about a rain check on Cards Against Humanity? I think we need to get some stitches for Ransom.” 

Sandy then came in fully to take a look at Ransom's hand. “Let me take a look? I’m a nurse, and can tell you if they will give you any stitches.” 

Ransom lifted the hand towel once more and she hummed while looking at it. “Yup, looks just like the cut Rick had a couple years ago. Steak knife get you?” 

“Not fucking intentionally.” Ransom growled a bit, getting agitated now feeling he was under scrutiny. 

“Ha, Rick said the same thing.” Sandy chuckled and her husband came in, happening to hear her.

“Well I forgot I put the knife in the water when I was washing the dishes.” He came to Ransom’s defense with a dumbass excuse and at this point Ransom was ready to go to the emergency room, just to get out of this curve of a disaster the evening took.

Sandy dabbled at the wound with the cloth when the blood welled up again and Ransom this time felt his head swarm. “Im going to...” and thats when he slumped, you and Sandy trying to catch him and Rick managing to get his arms under Ransoms armpits and ease him down to the floor. You straightened up with a hand against your lower back and one pressed to your baby bump, sighing. 

“Ransom can’t handle blood... I’m hoping this isn’t whats going to happen with shitty diapers to.” 

***************************

After You managed to get Ransom to the emergency room, and he was once again patched up and left alone, you were sitting nearby, counting your fingers and muttering to yourself. 

“What are you doing Y/N?” Ransom winced as he flexed his hand a bit, and you smirk at him. 

“Counting how many times we have been to the emergency room in the past 6 months. This makes three times. You are like a walking talking disaster Ransom, I’m a bit surprised it has been this long since we’ve last visitied.” 

He glared at you while he stood and took his coat from you to shrug it on. “Eat Shit Y/N, I never visited the emergency room till I hooked up with you. What does that say?” 

You shrugged. “That I’m not as much as a dumbass as you Ransom, but that’s okay. I love you anyways.” You tuck into his side as you two leave the room. 

“Yea yea, Love you to Y/N.” He rolled his eyes, wincing as he dug his injured hand into his coat pocket, looking for the Beamers keys.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Dangerous Love (Pt. 11 of 13)

Pairing: Bruce Wayne (Batman) X Harley Quinn's sister!Reader

Word count: 3K

Summary: You're Harley Quinn's sister, Havoc, one of the many villain's of Gotham. But you've been caught, and has been tortured constantly for an year in Belle Reve. But when your think your life can't be anything else than the nightmare you find yourself into, Bruce Wayne, the Batman, takes you in for a project. He has a program to rehabilitate villains, and you're his lab rat. But soon enough confusing feelings start getting in the way. You know falling for Bruce is stupid. But can you keep your heart under control?

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{Justice League - DC Masterlist}

×

Plans For The Future

You're seated on your knees, on the floor, before the coffee table where several sheets of paper are scattered around. The possibilities for your future. You left the League in the cave to discuss their business and came up here to do this. But it's been twenty minutes since you wrote down the last option, and you're still clueless.

“Any luck?” Barry is suddenly seated across from you, the wind he makes with he's speed messing with the papers. But he quickly gathers them again.

“No,” you mutter, feeling a little defeated. Seconds later the others are here too, and as if they were told to, they sit all around the coffee table, on the floor. Expect for Bruce, who sits on the couch, his legs near you.

“Isn't there anything you would like to do?”

“I can't really picture myself doing anything.” Running a hand through your hair, you sigh.

“You were so excited about it in the cave. What changed?" Diana asks, and you notice how everyone seems focused on you. In the last week, since they got back from Washington, the League seems very interested in you. There's a lot of effort to make you feel comfortable, and engage you in their conversations.

“Am I going crazy or are you guys like... Trying to make me get used to normal human interaction again?” Crossing your arms, you have your answer by the way they all exchange a glance and then stare at Bruce. “I knew it.”

“How did you find out?”

“Well, right now everyone is literally seated around the coffee table with me. Except for this weirdo here.” You elbow Bruce's leg, making Barry and Arthur giggle. “You're planning to take me out, aren't you?”

“You're very perceptive.” He says as he moves to seat on the floor with you, an arm around your shoulders. “I've been thinking about it for a while.”

“Do you think I can deal with the real world?” You ask him in a lower voice. You haven't been on the streets yet, and you're not sure how you'll feel among the people.

“Yes, I do.”

“You know people will think Bruce Wayne has a girlfriend, right? If we go out and you do things like hold my hand...” You bet it won't take half an hour for his name to be on the headlines again, and the news channels will talk about it. The world will know about your existence, and every girl who has her eyes on Bruce will know they lost their chance. “You'll have to keep a distance.”

“(Y/N), we're dating. I won't keep that a secret so yes, people will have to find out eventually.” He places a soft kiss on your nose before his lips connect to yours.

“Uhm... We're still here...” Barry mutters, reminding you of the public.

Weird how it only took half a second for you to forget you have company. “So... Now that I know why you guys are still around, help me find something to major in.”

“Let's see what you have here.” Diana starts, and everyone takes a piece of paper or two. “Doctor?”

“Nope. That was just a joke.” Bending over the table a little, you take the paper from her hand. “Moving on.”

“Nurse," Arthur says.

“Vet.” Clark reads.

“All jokes.” Wanting something isn't enough, you have to feel like you can do it. And you don't think you can.

“If you become a nurse you could patch him up.” Arthur gestures at Bruce who nods.

“Sweetheart if this is what you want you just need to say and I'll help you.”

“Me? A nurse? No way, it's too much for me. I need something easier.” You're not saying you're stupid, but why put effort into something on which you'll probably fail? No need to hurt your feelings.

“So you don't think you're smart enough?” Clark asks and you nod.

“If you weren't smart you wouldn't have survived this long as a criminal. And wouldn't have escaped the prison twice. Or fooled the Joker so many times.” Bruce says, and you tilt your head to the side a little, thinking. It did take some brain to do this stuff, calculations, memorization, and some random knowledge.

“It looks like this is what you want,” Arthur mumbles, elbows on the coffee table.

Nurses help people, and that's the exact opposite of what you did. You never really enjoyed hurting people though, at least not normal civilians.

“Yeah... I've been thinking about being a practitioner nurse.”

“You've been doing some research on the subject then.” Wonder Woman raises an eyebrow.

“Yes. They can diagnose diseases, initiate treatments, and prescribe medications. They're more independent.” Shrugging your shoulders, you lean closer to Bruce. “But I don't know. Maybe we should keep looking into the other options.” Pretending you're not insecure is useless. Building a life is both exciting and terrifying.

“No. I guess we found what you want to do.” Bruce says and kisses your cheek. You bite back a smile, but it escapes anyway. “Anything as long as you're happy.”

“I can die in peace now,” Arthur says, and everyone turns their heads to look at him. He simply gestures at you and Bruce as if it would explain everything. “I lived enough to see Batman being soft with someone. The rest of my life will be dull.”

It took long enough for the funny comments to start. “Let the man be, Arthur. Everyone softens when they find love.” Diana adds.

“Aren't you a little too young to be dating Bruce actually?” Barry asks, shrugging his shoulders. “Just-just saying.”

“I haven't really thought about that,” you say.

“I have,” Bruce admits.

“Obviously. In this relationship you're the morals part.” You start gathering the sheets of paper, making a small pile. “I'm the impulse part.”

“Impulse part?”

“I did kiss you out of impulse. I was trying to control myself for quite a while but the thought of another suicide mission finally made me give in.” Looking at him, you smirk. “What would you do if I didn't kiss you before the mission? Were you planning to tell me about your feelings?”

“Shouldn't we discuss that in private?” He raises an eyebrow, and you give the guys a glance before looking back at Bruce.

“We don't mind. Go on.” Barry mutters, getting an annoyed stare from Diana.

“Let's give them some time." She says before getting up. The others soon follow, but Barry is the last.

“The fast one seems very curious about Batman's love life,” you say in a sassy tone when you're left alone.

“He turned the mission in Washington a nightmare the moment I mentioned you.” Bruce moves closer, caressing your cheek.

“And how was that?”

“I told them we had to make it as quick as possible because I had someone to go back to.” He places a soft kiss on your lips and you can't help but smile. You can't believe that someone was you. “Then he just wouldn't let it go. And yes, I was planning on telling you how I felt.”

“What would you do if the feeling wasn't mutual?” Wrapping your arms around his neck, you move to sit on his lap.

“I was pretty sure you felt something for me.”

“Really? I was trying so hard to hide it.”

“Miss Quinzel. Master Bruce. Dinner is served.” Alfred announces and you're just about to stand up when Bruce lifts you up with him.

“Because that will make Barry stop sassing at you,” you tell him, not even bothering to ask him to put you down. He can carry you all the way he wants. It feels funny though, and good to float like this. But the best part is how close your faces are, so you take the chance to kiss him as he takes you to the dining room.

Dinner goes on very well. The chattering is constant, and you manage to get into the conversations. You do feel like you're getting along with the League. Maybe you'll do well with other people too. If you can deal with the supers, you can deal with regular humans. It gives you hope, makes you a little more excited to go out. For dessert, you have brownies, one of your favorites, with vanilla ice cream.

“(Y/N), you said something about a suicide mission?” Barry asks after Diana gives you more details about the Washington mission. “What was that about?”

“Yeah... It was a terrorist attack in New Mexico. They mounted a base there but we never knew their plans.”

“They send you in a mission completely in the dark?” Diana furrows her eyebrows.

“We're the Suicide Squad. Well, that's what we call ourselves. The official name is Task Force X.” You move in the chair a little, but you notice you're not as uncomfortable as you were before talking about it. Bruce says you have to accept who you were in order to be free to restart. Trying to ignore it will only allow the past to haunt you. “When the soldiers can't deal with it but it's still not bad enough to call the heroes, they send us. The whole point is that it doesn't matter if we die in the process. The order is to finish the mission. We're... Spendable.”

“I never heard of anything like that,” Clark says, shrugging his shoulders.

“Nobody is supposed to know. But it doesn't matter anymore. The mission was a success and I'd be fine with it if the guards didn't beat me up on my way back here.” You say it without really noticing what it means, but by the way they exchange glances with each other, there are questions in their heads. “Some of them knew me from Belle Reve. So they knew I was going back somewhere they wouldn't be able to punish me for my crimes. They said it was a taste from home.”

“Everyone who was in that van was fired.” Bruce's voice is heavy with anger. “And I doubt they'll get any other job in Gotham.”

“If you're in prison to pay for your crimes, why did they beat you? Isn't the confinement the punishment?” Barry raises his eyebrows, and Arthur nods.

“Uhm... Yes. In any other prison, yes. But Belle Reve is different. It's like we're not on Earth anymore they... They can do pretty much anything they want. Every man and woman who acts as our guards are military or ex-military. Soldiers... And they have so much hate for us.” The memories come back in flashes of lightning, flooding your mind. The pain is still a vivid dream, the darkness is still terrorizing. “I can only speak for myself but I'm sure almost everyone who gets there tries to fight, to run away. I did. And maybe... Maybe I deserved it, maybe what they did was right.”

“(Y/N), don't you think for a second that you deserved what they did to you. Just because someone is a criminal doesn't give them the reason to treat you like an animal.” Bruce takes your hand over the table, and you smile to feel his fingers brushing against the soft skin of the back on your hand.

“They don't treat animals like they treat us.” The acknowledgment is dark and heavy, and you feel as the atmosphere gets tense. The League seems uncomfortable, perplexed.

“What the hell happens in that place?” Diana is the first to speak up after several seconds of deep silence.

“I can only tell what happened to me. By the rumors, it depends on who we are. Killercroc, for example, is left alone in a hole on the ground. Me... I always fought back.” Taking a deep breath, you revisit the endless days you spent in hell. The longest year of your life. The terror was usually suffocated by anger, burning rage, but it was always there, creeping through the walls. “I was kept in the dark. The only light source came from the small gap under the door. It had a blueish glow. My cell was open three times a day, at 10 a.m., 04 p.m., and 08 p.m. The two first were to feed me. They put a straw through my nose all the way down to my throat and fed me with some kind yogurt.” You cringe at the memory, a shiver rolling down your spine. “The last one was the shower. If you can call that a shower... They made me take my clothes off and back up into a concrete wall and blast me with water from a hose. If the weather was hot, the water was ice cold... If it was cold, the water was so hot that it burned my skin.” As you speak, Bruce moves his chair closer to you, putting an arm around your shoulders.

“You don't have to tell us anything if it makes you feel uncomfortable,” Clark says in a low voice.

“No, it's ok... It's good to say it. To... Let it out.” Holding it inside has only screwed you up over and over again. Dealing with it alone has isolated you. And you don't want to be alone anymore. “Before or after the shower was usually when the beat me. Men, women... They didn't really mind if they were a 6ft tall man kicking me. The drugs, the... Several different kids of drugs they gave me numbed the pain, but it was worse, at least to me.” The tears are rolling down now, as you're looking at the table, holding Bruce's hand as if he's your anchor. “I knew my body was being broken, sliced, bones being fractured but I only felt the impact. It's a psychological torture they play alongside the physical one. They liked to know that I was feeling my body being hurt, but I could never feel it... The drugs never wore off, so they never treated to my wounds. I was always left there, in my cell, as the blood dried, as the darkness threatened to suffocate me but I always told myself I was Havoc. I was freaking Havoc and I did not only deserve that, but I also could deal with it. That I was used to the pain...”

“Alright, that's enough.” Bruce raises his voice, and you notice you were yelling. He pulls you close and you hide your face in the crook of his neck.

“I speak for everyone here when I say we're very sorry for everything you've been through,” Diana says, and you feel a hand on your shoulder. When you look up, you see that not only her but all the others are standing around you and Bruce. “And I'm sorry I brought up such terrible memories.”

“Thank you.” Your voice sounds terribly weak, and Bruce dries off some of the tears with his thumb. When you get up, Diana holds both your hands on hers.

“I want you to know that you have me now. To talk, to ask for help, anything.” Your eyes quickly fly through the others when they nod.

“More than Bruce's friend, you're our friend now,” Arthur says.

“So now you not only have friends but superfriends.” Barry steps ahead and pulls you into a hug. You're surprised at the sudden affection, but it feels nice. The others join you soon, and you're in the middle of a group hug.

Not for a single moment in your life you thought you'd ever had anything like this. “Guys, you know you don't have to do this,” you mutter because you can't help but think you don't deserve it, that you're not the victim. Guess you still have a lot to work on, and Bruce is right to still give you some therapy sessions.

“Of course we do. You're an incredible woman who overcame so much. And you truly seem to want to leave the past behind.”

“Clark's right. You're the proof that villains aren't too far beyond repair.” Arthur says with a smile.

“Thanks again.” You're blushing a little because you think they see you as more than what you are now. But it's good to know they believe you.

An hour later, you're on Bruce's bedroom, getting ready to sleep. You're reading about Gotham's University as Bruce brushes his teeth, getting a little confused by how complicated it seems to be accepted there.

“Bruce, all these papers... I don't know if I have them.” You complain, suddenly losing hope.

“I'll deal with them, don't worry.” He comes to the bed, sitting beside you and resting his back against the pillowy headrest. “Worry about studying.”

“And about the fact I'll be surrounded by people all the time.” You sigh, putting the tablet on the nightstand. “It's still confusing, you know. Terrifying sometimes.” You're used to making people fear you, and when that's not possible, they just hate you. Hurt you. You're not sure how you'd manage to stay in between. To be normal.

“The classes only start next semester, so you'll have some months to get used to people.” Bruce pulls you to lie down, and you lay your head on his chest. “Tomorrow we're going out.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes. We'll walk around, buy you some new clothes, eat at a nice restaurant...” He caresses your hair, making it hard to keep your eyes open. “I'll be right there with you, so no need to get anxious.”

“Okay...” Noticing you're a little thirsty, you roll your eyes as you get up. “I need water. Do you want some?”

“No, thanks.”

“I'll be right back.” Crawling out of the bed, you make your way downstairs, straight to the kitchen. You hear low voices, so you walk slower, making sure you won't interrupt anything. When you get there, you see it's Diana and Barry, who's eating your ice cream. “Hey, guys,” you announce yourself.

“Hi, (Y/N),” Diana says as Barry waves with the spoon.

“You know this ice cream is mine, right?” Raising an eyebrow, you try to look mad. It apparently works because he gives an apologetic look and lowers the spoon.

“Sorry.” He mutters as you walk around the island, getting a spoon for yourself, sitting beside him and starting to eat too.

“Relax. It seems that I have to share now.” You keep the sarcastic tone, but Barry still doesn't seem to understand. “I'm joking. You can eat it, it's just ice cream.” You smile when he starts eating again. “Don't you want some, Diana?”

“No, thank you.” She raises the mug she's holding. “I usually just drink some tea before going to sleep.”

“Yeah. I just eat. I need a lot of calories.” Barry says with his mouth full of ice cream. “What about you?”

“Actually I just came to get some water. Bruce is waiting for me upstairs.” You forgot about the water, but now you feel thirsty again, so you get a glass and head to the fridge.

“You guys sleep together?” He asks.

“Barry.” Diana reprimands him, and that makes you giggle a little.

“We share the bed.” Shrugging your shoulders, you speak as you pour some cold water on the glass, closing the fridge and making your way back to where you were seated. “I have... Nightmares. They were more often before, but they still come. But when I'm with Bruce it's just... It's better.” You feel safe, secure, but you're too shy to tell them that. It's too much that you're telling about the nightmares, but it's a good sign that you're able to open up, even if it's just a little bit.

“You love Bruce, don't you?” Diana asks in a low voice.

Looking down at your half-full glass of water, you nod. Love isn't the word you use to express your feelings for Bruce, but that's just because you're way too scared to let those three words flow out. ‘I love you.’ You've been biting your tongue for quite a while now. Those words hold power, you know it, and you're scared that he doesn't feel the same way. “Don't tell him,” you beg, looking up at Diana.

“Why?” As she asks, Barry takes the ice cream and gets up, leaving the kitchen.

“Girl talk.” He mumbles on his way out. And yes, you feel a little more comfortable knowing it's just Diana.

“Because maybe it's too soon and... If he doesn't feel the same I'm afraid it'll push him away.” Your feelings for Bruce only grow, and even though being in love with someone is something new, you know how things should play out. Or you think you do. The fact that he's Batman and you're Havoc, a villain he tried to catch before, only makes everything worse.

“I know Bruce. He would never officialize a relationship if he wasn't one hundred and ten percent sure of his feelings.” She moves from her place at the table to seat across from you on the island. “And I understand that what you did before may get in the way but it only makes me even more sure about his feelings towards you. So yes, I think he loves you and there's no reason for you to be so scared.”

Taking a deep breath, you try to accept that. “How could he love me?” You inquire in a low voice because you can't help but go back, to remember who you were and what you did. You do regret it, and you do want different things now, to have a whole new life. But... Sometimes the fear of losing Bruce hits hard, and you start going back to your shell.

“Why don't you let me answer that?” His voice makes you jump, and you stand up abruptly. Your heart beats so fast that you can hear it on your ears, like drums.

“I'll get some sleep. Good night, (Y/N). Bruce.” Diana stands up and leaves the kitchen, as you stand there, looking at Bruce.

“You weren't supposed to hear any of that,” you mumble.

“But I'm glad I did. Let's head upstairs. We need to talk.” Nodding, you start following Bruce. “I need to make things clear with you, sweetheart.”

×

@fionanovasleftnut @glitterypinkkitty @mybabyboytony @chipster-21 @agustdpeach @yaakimoon2 @chloe-skywalker

[xmarilynex]

MARILYNE GARNIER showed up right on time for the end of the world. Even now, word is that they are LOYAL, but still get RESENTFUL at the mention of how things used to be. They have been living in SALUS for HER WHOLE LIFE. If you go looking for them, you can usually find BANG BANG by 2CELLOS playing, or use A WORN COIN THAT MAKES ALL THE BIG DECISIONS AND DISCONCERTING SMIRKS to narrow it down. 

                                             She wasn’t always like this, you know. 

                                                 BIOGRAPHY

HE WAS FIVE AND I WAS SIX

Marilyne was born of literal blood and fire. Her first sound coming into this world was that of explosion, of a gunshot. First sight was the bullet through her father’s head. First smell the mixture of ash and burning rubble. They thought they would be safe. They thought they had put enough distance between them and the Raiders’ bounty hunters. Clearly, they thought wrong, and before she had even had her first meal Marilyne was subjected to her first life lesson of Salus; you can run, but you can never fucking hide. 

WE RODE ON HORSES MADE OF STICKS

You see, Grace and Martin Garnier didn’t mean to get pregnant. Not many people did out in the wicked wild wasteland of Salus, for reasons it should be easy to imagine. But long summer nights and the celebration of a ‘successful’ harvest of their small patch of land on the outskirts of the Settlers turf meant one thing led to another. The two never did form much of an alliance with any of the Divisions, or Factions, or Gangs, or whatever you want to call them when The Ravens Act began to break down. Even in peace times, they had few acquaintances and even fewer friends. That was until two wicked twists in their story happened on the same night. The night they realised she was pregnant; fire took their camp and left nothing behind. 

HE WORE BLACK AND I WORE WHITE

They tried to turn to join the Settlers division, but their mission of replenishment had only just begun, and there weren’t enough resources for them both let alone their child. They were turned away. If it had just been the two of them, they would have tried to find new land, tried to have made it on their own once again, but they couldn’t play resources risk with their child. They needed support; they needed a division, and the Raiders were the only other faction that they had some level of connection with; Martin’s brother. Sure enough, they took them in, fed them, gave them water, made Martin work with the rest of the Ransackers as payment. But Martin and Grace were good people. There was only so much of the Raider way, the bloodshed and pillaging that they could take. For them, this was no place to raise a child. So, they ran. They stole what they’d need to restart their old life, and they ran.

HE WOULD ALWAYS WIN THE FIGHT

They thought the distance between them and the Raiders was enough, clearly, they were wrong. As one life came into this world, another was taken. Then, Marilyne and her Mother were brought back to the Raider faction and kept there. As soon as she was able to, Marilyne worked, forced to do whatever the fuck they wanted or needed just to be able to have access to the food and water, beaten down if ever anything went wrong. She was raised not by the once kind heart of her mother, who had gone entirely mute and obedient after all that had happened to her, but by cruel savagery. But, Marilyne would keep her sanity and inherited good will until her mother became sick. 

BANG BANG HE SHOT ME DOWN

Of course, she was old enough and had seen enough by this time that she knew exactly what happened to the weak and the sick. She knew what happened to those that depleted the resources and were unable to give anything back. She’d seen that death with her own eyes, and she couldn’t let it take her mother. She found a place to hide her, in the ruins of an old church on the edge of the Raider turf. For six months, Mar only ate half her portions, pocketing the rest to sneak off to her Mom. For six months, her tiny and unnoticeable frame was able to slip in and out of the dispensary and get medicines. For six months, she felt like she had a purpose.

BANG BANG I HIT THE GROUND

In this time, she had also found love. A boy, named Sage, who was a little older than her but that didn’t matter. He was gentle, and thoughtful. He looked out for the little guys, using his charm to make things around camp just a little brighter. They worked the same job; going through all the bags and boxes of shit to find out what would sell and what wouldn’t. But, even outside of work they spent all their time together. He taught her a lot, and she liked to think she taught him some things too. If there was one thing Mar was, it was loyal. Loyal to family, loyal to those who were kind, loyal to those who had no-one else. Sage taught her a lot, but the main lesson he had to give? Never trust anyone.

BANG BANG THAT AWFUL SOUND

Marilyne went to Sage for help, when her Mom got so sick the medicine wasn’t working anymore. He promised to help, reassured little fourteen-year-old Mar that everything was going to be okay. Then, he turned on her. He showed up at the church under promises of help, along with a bunch of the older men from the Division and they shot her. They shot her, not in the head or in the heart where it would be over in a second but in her stomach so it would be slow, and painful. The worst part? They forced Marilyne to watch her bleed out, as reparation for her stealing sins and they fucking laughed. Eventually, the grief and tears turned to anger, and she lashed out, fists flying and screams of pure pain. The logical equation that she was never going to win a 4v1 with 3 grown men and the boy that taught her fight in the first place never took place. She got a few good hits in, if knowing that would make you feel any better about her story, but within minutes she was on the floor, ribs cracked, lip busted, eyes blackened. Then, they just… Left her there. She looked up as they walked away. She looked up to see the smirk on Sage’s face as he looked back at what he’d done.

BANG BANG MY BABY SHOT ME DOWN

Eventually, the tears stopped and as if someone just cut her loose, Mar laid broken and bruised on the ground of the Church ruins and just laughed. That day was the last day anyone could ever say they knew what Marilyne was going to do next, that she was sane. She had some supplies left, hidden deep in the rubble that helped her patch herself up and live for a week or two. When she was finally out, she took a trip to the Junkers, and joined them for a while, a least until she was healed. Then, about six months later, she severed the final cord of her old self. Plagued with anger and the need for revenge, she’d been stalking Sage and his little faction of Raiders he’d ‘earnt’ from his betrayal all this time. Waiting. Watching. Then, when the perfect moment presented itself, she ambushed them mid-convoy and killed them all with a smile on her face. Of course, it wasn’t a quick easy death for Sage. No, you really don’t want to know how she killed him; it would certainly be in your nightmares if you did. Let’s just say the rumours about her are the PG-13 version of what actually happened.

MUSIC PLAYED AND PEOPLE SANG JUST FOR ME THE CHURCH BELLS RANG

Now, she doesn’t need much of a division to keep her alive anymore. Her reputation precedes her, and if she did happen to need anything she always finds help with the junkrats and the salvagers considering how many Raiders she’s kept away and off their goods over the years. Almost all those raiders and bounty hunters from her past are in the ground now, no longer men but toys in her little games that she plays. But a few remain. The one who killed her father, for example. She never has been able to find out who that hunter was. Good news for them, in the grand scheme of things; they probably wouldn’t want that to change anytime soon.

BANG BANG I SHOT YOU DOWN BANG BANG YOU HIT THE GROUND BANG BANG THAT AWFUL SOUND BANG BANG I USED TO SHOOT YOU DOWN

[coffeeleans]

July 29, 2020. 5:35 AM.

This is the first time I’m writing something or anything again and I haven’t slept a wink... I don’t know if any of this will make sense or what I’m even trying to write. Anyway, I take a deep breath while listening to Stray Kids’ Neverending Story and these thoughts came flooding in.

Neverending Story is like my comfort song for this year along with The Cab’s Angel with a Shotgun. I realized that a lot has happened these past few months and I know that there’s more that are yet to come. I thought about how January was a time of moving on, it was a month that I told myself I’ll walk my path, I’ll look for a job hence, my first job interview. Jea and I decided not to take it, believing that there’s an opportunity that’s better for us. Looking back now, I think I should have grabbed it even just as an experience. My virgo ex and I threw hateful words and exchanged resentment only to find out that we still love each other, that we still want to try again. At the end of that month, I gave her another “yes.”

On the month of February, I went to Seoul, South Korea and experienced my first winter. I remember how cold it was for my then skinny self, only weighing 38 kg. I remember taking banana milk for breakfast and how their non-spicy chicken’s still a tad bit spicy. I remember missing a video call with my then-girlfriend and being grumpy about it. I remember visiting several companies, waiting fruitlessly in front of SM Entertainment. I remember taking photos of this certain place that shines the brightest but still feeling lonely and empty. I remember the alternate extreme hot and cold of the shower. I remember smiling and laughing a lot there, I remember promising to myself that I will visit Everland again with the love of my life (or maybe with one of my best friends). It was also a month where my then-girlfriend proposed to me in an international roleplay agency. Before February ends, I met Kleist.

On March, things started to get fucked up. My then-girlfriend and I decided to call it off. We were suddenly a hopeless case. I spent nights crying alone, not being able to confide on anyone but Kleist. I remember cheering her on for a game that’s stressing her only to be forgotten when the event was over. A week after that, I started visiting Cubao Expo three to four times a week with Kleist, just drinking about two to three bottles of an over-priced Smirnoff. I remember getting home late. I remember random Mcdonald’s and Burger King orders with Jea and just snacking our lonely hearts away. I remember hugging Jea when she cried about Ichi leaving her just because I was back in her life (I still feel pretty bad about it). I remember Kleist crying during our first (and last) Karaoke Session with Kana. I remember Kana telling me I feel “warm.” Half-way before March ends, I decided to go on a journey back in Bataan, my healing place. There, I was met with a four-month long lockdown. At the end of March, I lost Kleist... she couldn’t accept a part of me that I also hate. I tried to apologize after a while but the damage’s done and it’s best for us to move forward. However, I’m still thankful that she was my saving grace on all those dark days.

April, the best month to visit Amsterdam for the prettiest tulips. At the very last day of it, I met Lucho. He was amazing, he made me feel all the things I have lost. He made me feel things I felt like I have long forgotten. He made me see that I can still be me and I’m still capable of feeling something. I was really glad and thankful. Our relationship lasted until half of June, I think? Then it became a push and pull relationship of wanting to hold on and letting go. But being in Bataan, I was safe. My heart could hurt but I have my saviors; Gizel, Gillian, Kenshin, and Gabby. Taking care of them and playing with them was my best relief (also drinking alcohol every two weeks). I’m thankful to my mom and dad who funded me for this healing trip/lockdown. Anyway, Lucho or Dani and I ended whatever we have before it started to bloom. Unfortunately, we’re not able to see whether we’ll bloom as pretty as the tulips. I had to block her after her birthday. Somewhere in between, I had to cut Kyla off. She was no longer good for my mental health and she’s doing more harm than good.

July 7, it was the night I step foot again on my own home. At first, it did felt strange with the new stuff, new setting, new everything... even with my siblings being extra affectionate and careful. With my aunts missing me and asking if I had been well. Pointing out that I got prettier with the extra weight. Getting back here, I decided to take another step and make a path for myself. I rearranged my room, cleaned it and put up new stuff, threw old ones, and donate old clothes. To this day, I’m maintaing a really close relationship with my friends; Gizel, Mariz, Jea, Keon, Yuki, Sie, Sam, Pau, Honey, Kazue, Mauie, Therese and more. I’ve met a lot of new people for this short time... I know what we have may also be short-lived. I know that the world’s constantly revolving and that, the people we are close with may not be here tomorrow. That that stranger who you thought will never touch your life will crash through that door and be persistent of not leaving.

Before, I thought that I couldn’t live without a significant other that I should mend. I thought it’s my duty to help people. I thought that if I see everyone happy, I would be too. While that could be true, I think I somehow forgot to tend to my own needs, I forgot to protect and take care of myself all this while that I became empty, detached, emotionless, and out of this world— I was lost. I was constantly drowning even if I tried to keep on swimming. I wasn’t anything but the hole in my chest. I couldn’t care less if I jump off from the roof of our house and kill myself.

But this rough patch, this deep and cold underwater setting... it made me see that there’s something worth living for. I had to let go of the people I never want to let go, I had to restart a relationship I just want to continue. But the world didn’t allow it and I resisted... I resisted so much and begged for the world until my knees were bleeding and was cut off. But one day, several hands have helped me stood up and became my own pair of legs. The relationships that I started to forget because of chasing the wrong relationships are the ones that saved me. Whenever I think about the people who are currently in my life, I feel this wave of warmth and contenment... I couldn’t ask for more. I don’t need a significant other, I just need myself and these people that I ‘am sure of. I think I can picture myself smiling genuinely again. I can’t be how I was, I can’t bring back the old me no matter how much I want to... but if I go on, if I keep on having the courage to take care of myself and these people, then all is well and all is worth it. Maybe I can be just a new me.

With the politics and pandemic completely fucking us up, I think it was also a time that I healed... even just a bit. All of these could be short-lived but these are the days I will always remember. I was able to love genuinely and pray for the people I love the most. My heart is so happy that I could die right now and not regret anything. It was a really rough run, my heart’s hurting for both the good and the bad but I will live on. If the Kei of months or years from now feels lost again, I hope she can look back to this and remember how warm she felt while writing (or typing) this. You were alive, Kei. You met people with good hearts and one day you will meet more. It’s okay to get tired once in a while but don’t forget these days, people, and moments that made you feel alive. You were alive. You burned. You were here. You could be again.

Amidst of all the rough voices, of all the nights I cried and prayed through the darkness and coldness... Han Jisung, you’re a voice that gave me hope. An existence that made me believe. A presence that encouraged me. One of the billions of people that reminds me how beautiful it is to be alive. You’re a kind of love that I will look back to and smile at.

Here’s to our story that won’t end.

The people that left, the people that stayed. The situations the broke me, the situations that fixed me. The people who made it dim and the people who brought light to it. The hands that chose to let go and the hands that chose to hold on. The days I laughed and the nights that I cried.

I was alive.

Farther than tomorrow, longer than forever... I love you.

PS. These are just highlights and ones I remember after staring at the ceiling, when my 4AM talks with Keon and Ace ended.

- 6:19 AM -

[presumenothing]

call it what you want

the toph and zuko fic that absolutely no one but me asked for (but i asked very nicely so here it is)

beware probable inaccuracies to canon and in descriptions of blindness

(AO3)

i.

On the third morning in a row they wake up like this, they don’t even need to exchange a look before agreeing (though any literal looks would have been one-sided and therefore admittedly moot, considering).

“Emergency measures?”

“Emergency measures,” Zuko confirms, and he doesn’t even startle at the way his voice comes out anymore. It does still take more concentration than it should to shift his feet into position – at least he remembers to go barefoot, now. “Uncle’s already up, I think that’s him in the tearoom upstairs.”

Toph punches him in the arm. Fortunately there isn’t anyone around to witness the (apparent) act of Fire Nation brutality, but also: ouch. “You’re gonna have to do better than that, Sparky, I have a reputation to maintain!”

“You’re the one with the firebending now,” Zuko grumbles, not at all under his breath. “Besides, I had to stop you from accidentally sparking off about four separate international incidents yesterday alone, so – hey!”

Toph doesn’t stop pulling Zuko along the corridor, but at least she does slow down, and he suspects the stride hadn’t even been intentional to begin with, just habit from usually being the shortest one in their group.

“Wouldn’t want you forgetting how to do your job, o great Lord Not-Sparky,” she retorts, but there’s no heat in it besides her customary snark, and despite everything Zuko finds himself weirdly grateful that it’s the two of them stuck in this situation and not anyone else.

(That doesn’t stop him from gleefully whispering I told you so! when Uncle turns out to be right where he’d said he would be, but Zuko figures he’s entitled to that much.

And if Toph is rolling her eyes, at least she does it silently, so. It’s a win-win, really.)

.

ii.

The first morning, Toph wakes up with the feeling that something is off, but it isn’t until she opens her eyes (not her first priority upon waking, for obvious reasons) that she realises how off.

It takes her three tries to swing her legs off the side of the bed and onto the floor – how the hell is her depth perception somehow worse with vision? – and the chill of unfamiliarly-patterned tile is what drives it home for her.

Not that the rest of it hadn’t been enough already: Toph knows the dimensions of her own body very well, thank you, because she’d always be running into walls otherwise. And then there’s the matter of not so much what she’s seeing as the fact that she’s seeing it at all, and not in the way she usually means the term.

But anyway. This definitely isn’t the room she fell asleep in, because that one had been heated and this one isn’t at all, because apparently firebenders were above needing or wanting things like cozy heating when they slept, however comfortable it might be. Which means that this is a firebender’s room… unsurprising, since they’re in the Fire Nation and all, but Toph is also starting to suspect that this is Zuko’s room. She’s still trying to figure out the shitton of information her eyes are suddenly tossing at her, but she’s pretty sure that what she eye-sees matches the layout she’d mapped out before with her earthbending – which by the way is definitely missing and not just her feet being temporarily numbed by the cold floor, and it’s not like Toph is freaking out or anything, but.

But. Okay. One thing at a time, Toph decides, and looks around until she spots something that has to be a mirror, hanging on a wall halfway across the room because of course it is.

Several false starts later, she eventually settles on memorising the distance and direction to it, before squeezing her eyes almost shut as she walks so that only a narrow band gets through because honestly, too much information. No wonder sighted people were always so distracted.

Toph only opens her eyes again once she’s finally standing in front of the mirror, and – holy fuck, she thinks.

Not because she’s Zuko. Or not just that, rather, not even that, because she is somehow in a body that she’s certain has to be Zuko’s the same way she’d known this was his room.

She’s heard that the scar on his face is bad, had even felt it for herself – how big it was, how much of his face it covered, raised ridges and unnatural smoothness that she would’ve recognised as wrong even if she hadn’t touched anyone’s face before, but.

But now that she’s seeing it, the scar stands out far more than she ever thought it did, a livid patch stark against the rest of his features that she struggles to tear her gaze away from, and if this is what it means to have sight, have colours, Toph thinks she might not want it anymore.

Which is when she realises that if she’s here in this body it has to mean that – shit. Zuko.

(The first morning, Zuko had woken to utter pitch darkness that refused to abate or even change no matter how many times he blinked or frantically rubbed at his right eye. He’d probably have fallen spectacularly on his face if he’d moved to stand – but Zuko hadn’t even tried to. Couldn’t, not with the blackness pressing down on his limbs like far-too-physical fear.

He’d managed to simultaneously convince himself that Ozai had locked him in some windowless cell for good and thrown away the key, or that he’d finally lost his vision to the burn damage like the medic had warned Uncle might happen all those years ago, in quiet harried words where they thought he couldn’t hear.

Then a hand had landed on his shoulder, and Zuko would’ve startled if there’d been anything left in him to startle, but then a voice – his voice? – had hissed by his ear, and he’d made out the words “Sparky” and “come on” and –

And that hadn’t magically made everything better except in the ways it had, because he still couldn’t figure out what it meant but at least he wasn’t alone in the darkness anymore.)

.

iii.

Really, it’d been plain luck that Toph had woken up so much earlier than usual. Or not, because apparently firebenders woke with the sunrise and she’s a firebender now, and this is already shaping up to be a pain, didn’t Sparky or Uncle ever want to just sleep in until noon?

Apparently not, judging from the way Sparky had already been awake (awake and well into panicking) by the time she located the set of guest rooms that she’d been sleeping in just last night. Firebenders, honestly.

(“It’s habit, I guess?” Sparky had explained afterwards with a sheepish look, so okay, maybe this was more a Lord Rise-and-Shine thing than a general firebender thing.)

Anyway. Whatever the reason, it gives them enough time to figure out a plan before the rest of everybody wakes up, at least once she finally gets Zuko to calm the hell down.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, still breathing in that careful firebendy pattern which would’ve been a dead giveaway to her. But at least he looks not-freaked-out now (in Toph’s definitely nonexpert opinion, anyway) and she figures they can probably depend on most people around them to be as unobservant as they usually are. “Any idea how this happened?”

“Nope. We could always take the day off, see if this fixes itself by tomorrow,” she offers with amazing generosity.

“Absolutely not!” Zuko answers immediately, because – oh yeah, right, workaholic tendencies are another firebender and/or Sparky thing. “I – you – we have a meeting with all the major Fire Nation officials this morning, and there’s that delegation from the colonies after that, and then – ”

(Toph sighs. Couldn’t blame her for trying, at least.)

They end up settling on having Toph-as-Zuko lead Zuko-as-Toph around for now, because Toph has standards, and she refuses to let herself be seen bumping into walls all day long.

Plus, even waking up early hadn’t given them enough time for more than a superspeed crash course on Fire Lording, so of course Zuko insists on staying with her so she doesn’t mess up and offend all the world’s leaders or something.

“One wrong word could – could restart the war,” Zuko squawks like the baby turtleducks that the kitchen staff pretend not to see their Fire Lord regularly stealing bread for.

“Heard you the first twenty times, Your Shortiness,” Toph says breezily, patting his head – and just to be clear, she’s still not gonna forgive Sokka for all the times he’s used her as an elbow rest, but she (or her body, at least) is really just the right height for it.

(There are a few raised eyebrows when the Fire Lord doesn’t walk into the meeting chambers alone, but it probably helps that basically everyone present has other much higher priorities, and most of them are already resigned to the Avatar’s group acting weird by default anyway.

Which is to say that no one questions the arrangement until they break for lunch, and then not even until Aang bounces over to join them from who-knows-where, because Toph’s pretty sure that the A in Aang (and airbender, and Avatar) stands for audacity. “Toph, are you holding on to Zuko’s shirt?”

Toph – actual Toph – opens her mouth to give a bullshit answer, but Zuko beats her to it. “Duh. See, somebody here lost a bet, which means he’s gotta be my seeing-eye person until I say so. Right, Sparky?”

Toph’s reluctantly impressed. Not only had Zuko clearly thought about this, he’d even said it with all the snark she would have, complete with a disturbingly wide grin (she’d looked).

She gives one of those indistinct-but-not-really-upset grumbles that Sparky uses a lot around them, and gradually falls behind the rest of the group so she can elbow him with her own rock-sharp grin (because she can confirm from experience that it’s audible, even if not visible). “I didn’t know you had that in you!”

“Yeah, well.” Sparky rubs the back of his neck, his gaze darting away then back, and there’s no aura of sass about him now. “You handled the meeting pretty well, all things considered. Especially that… Minister Takagi.”

“You can just say ‘asshole’, y’know, it’s not like you’re the Fire Lord right now.” Besides, it’d be way more accurate, with the deliberate way that minister had said something oily and barbed about Ozai that’d gone right over her head but still hit home anyway, judging from the way Zuko had tensed in the seat beside hers.

Toph had simply blinked slowly before savouring the brief but utter look of confusion as she responded to the rest of his speech while outright ignoring the comment like the completely irrelevant bait it clearly was.

Too bad, Minister Asshole. Better luck next time!

(And if her cheeks are vaguely warm from the compliment in the way she knows means a blush, Sparky can’t see right now anyway, so it’s all fine as long as she doesn’t spontaneously combust from embarrassment.

…or from being a firebender. Is that even possible? Hopefully not.)

.

iv.

“But of course,” Uncle says as he refills their teacups. “I would be glad to be your regent while you are on vacation, nephew. You scarcely needed to ask.”

“Like I said, we’re just going to Gaoling to speak with the Beifongs, and so Aang can do his Avatar thing before we route any of the withdrawing troops through there,” Toph says, and Zuko can practically feel the annoyance rolling off her even if it’s for entirely different reasons than his own would’ve been, in the same situation. (It does make for a more convincing act though.) “It’s not a vacation.”

“Of course it isn’t,” Uncle replies with great equanimity, while Zuko tries to figure out if his tea is cool enough to drink now that he can’t judge by the steam rising from it. “It is good to see you taking better care of your health in spite of your heavy responsibilities, nephew. I hear that the clerks are overjoyed to have paperwork delegated to them again!”

Probably about as ecstatic as Toph herself was when she’d heard about that option, Zuko thinks to himself, and snorts at the thought.

(Honestly, it’s not like the paperwork that reaches the Fire Lord’s desk is anywhere near as complicated as the incomprehensible hell of requisition forms Zuko had constantly wrestled with aboard his ship, but Toph had still cheered when all of it got carted away to the clerks’ office. “Why would you go through all that if you didn’t have to? You should’ve done this ages ago!”

“How else was I gonna learn the details of what’s going on?” Zuko had muttered, but he couldn’t blame Toph for this one, since – well. Reading and writing hadn’t been a big part of her education, as she’d put it. “I’d offer to do it myself, but…”

He’d trailed off, then buried his face in his hands because he was not finishing that sentence, because Toph Beifong might be the greatest earthbender of all time but she’s also the worst influence to ever exist and apparently Zuko isn’t even good at cracking blind jokes anyway. And he didn’t even know whose expense it’d be at, right now.

Toph had just cackled like she’d known what he was thinking anyway.)

They manage to make their escape from Uncle almost one and a half pots of tea later.

“Is it just me,” Zuko begins hesitantly once they’re a safe distance down the corridor, “or did you also get the feeling that – ”

“He knows?” Toph sounds like she’s frowning. “Yeah. I mean, I guess it’s not a big deal if he of all people finds out – but how, though? He’s barely even been around the palace since this started!”

“Maybe he could… see it or something, I dunno.” Zuko shrugs. “Uncle’s been to the Spirit World before, he did say some stuff about it changing his awareness of things.”

“But he’s not the only one who’s been there,” Toph points out, before they both contemplate Aang for a moment. “Though maybe the only one without the attention span of a catterfly, yeah.”

(“Which reminds me, when’s Sweetness due back from the North Pole?”

“Katara? In another ten days, if everything goes to plan. Why?”

“Because I’m gonna have her fix this shitty heartbeat of yours, I don’t even care if we’ve swapped back by then! I already thought it sounded weird after the whole lightning thing, and you keep saying that it’s fine but this is really not normal, we’re just lucky you haven’t had a heart attack doing your morning exercises or something equally ridiculous–”)

.

v.

They tell Aang what happened once Appa is up in the air and en route to Gaoling, but the airbender still sounds disbelieving for once, even after they land early to train and set up camp.

“Okay, you got me, very funny, no way you actually switched b– huh.” Aang pauses, even keeps still for a moment. “Huh. You’re being serious.”

Zuko doesn’t need earthbending to recognise the sound of Toph tapping her foot, and probably crossing her arms too. “Care to enlighten us, Twinkletoes?”

Aang bursts out laughing at that, so the nickname probably sounds as weird to him in Zuko’s voice as it does to Zuko himself, though he goes back to being thoughtful afterwards. “I can see it a little if I concentrate, yeah – maybe it’s an effect of the energybending, I dunno. Your colours are a little different to the usual earthbender and firebender ones, and I don’t think they were like that before.”

Zuko’s pretty sure Toph is thinking the same thing he is (that still doesn’t explain how Uncle found out) but out loud he only says, “Can we get started now, if you’re done talking Avatar stuff?”

“Right!” Aang agrees with an enthusiastic bounce, and Zuko now really understands why Toph gave him that nickname. “So Zuko, you need me to teach you how to earthbend like you’re actually Toph, and not you pretending to be Toph and earthbending like how you think Toph earthbends–”

“Yes, Aang,” he interrupts, trying to sound longsuffering instead of laughing, then points unerringly at where Toph is lifting a foot. “And you’re not going barefoot, Toph, I have a reputation to maintain!”

“It’s not like anyone’s looking,” Toph mutters, but her shoes are still on when she puts her leg back down.

(“Honestly, Zuko, I’m really impressed,” Aang says as Toph lights the campfire for dinner, and this probably shouldn’t feel comfortingly nostalgic but it does. “I mean, it’s obvious now that I know what’s going on, but you’ve actually been navigating really well? I think I’d have taken way longer to adapt if I had to see by earthbending alone, and I already know earthbending.”

“It’s surprisingly intuitive once you get the hang of it. And I think Toph’s muscle memory stuck or something, otherwise I’d probably still be running into walls. Well, more walls,” Zuko amends. “Besides, I guess it’s sort of like when I was adjusting my newly shitty vision, after – after what Ozai did.”

Zuko’s briefly proud of himself when he barely even stumbles over that last part, until he realises that Toph has gone still across from him, and there’s an alarming flash of heat that probably isn’t the campfire.

“Uh.” Aang sounds alarmed, and like he’s staring. “Toph…?”

“Are you seriously telling me,” Toph grits out between her teeth, “that my depth perception is so fucked up because you only have half your vision left.”

“It’s really closer to seventy percent,” Zuko answers on reflex even as he facepalms both internally and externally because how in the name of Agni had he forgotten to tell Toph about this? Yes, it would’ve been obvious to anyone else, and it’s simple fact to Zuko by this point, but of course Toph of all people wouldn’t have realised that his eyesight was abnormal seeing as (ha) she’d never had vision before.

The ground trembles from sudden stomping. “That’s it, forget Gaoling, we’re going back to the capital now so I can kick Scumbag Lord’s ass all over again – and no using earthbending against me, Twinkletoes!”)

.

0.

“Do you miss it?” Zuko asks, later that night.

No answer comes for a long moment, and he’s starting to wonder if Toph’s fallen asleep when he feels the rustle of her turning over.

“Which part, the earthbending? Or being a blind and helpless twelve-year-old girl?” The air quotes around those words are perfectly audible even if he can’t see them, but neither of them have ever been much for rhetorical questions anyway so Toph barrels right on. “One more than the other, and you’re damned lucky I’m well-educated nobility or I’d have thrown up all over your court etiquette by now.”

Zuko tries to imagine Katara or Sokka (or possibly worse yet, Aang) trying to act as the Fire Lord and winces – they’re amazing people and Zuko cares for them more than he knows what to do with, but he’s also heard all about Sapphire and Wang Fire by now, and just. No. “Thanks for that, Toph, you’ve been doing a great job.”

Toph punches him in the arm instead of saying you’re welcome like a normal person. “No need to sound so surprised. You?”

“Hm?” he asks, before his brain catches up with his mouth a moment later. “Oh. I…”

Does he miss it, being the banished prince turned Fire Lord? Being not just Zuko but Zuko, son of Ursa and Ozai and everything that meant?

Does he miss having people look at him and see the scar on his face before everything else, see the pure golden eyes and assume everything it implied? (Not that he knew for sure how people looked at him now, not literally – but he’d seen enough of how they looked at Toph before, and it was always underestimation rather than exaggeration. And if it’d been just a year ago he would’ve been furious at that but now? Now, he’s still offended on Toph’s behalf because it’s not fair, it really isn’t, but he’s… surprisingly okay with it, otherwise.)

Does he miss fire dancing on his palm, sun-warm but never burning?

“…not as much as I expected,” Zuko says finally, and he doesn’t know how much time has passed but he can feel Toph listening for an answer anyway. “Except for the firebending, but I guess earth’s not too bad either.”

(Zuko doesn’t think he’s ever going to react anything but poorly to people touching him without warning no matter whose body he’s in, it’s a fact he’s fairly resigned to – but Toph’s earthbending means that pretty much no one but airbenders can really take him by surprise, and there’s only one of Aang. Fortunately.)

Toph snorts in a manner unbecoming of either lady or Fire Lord. “Well, fire sucks. If this keeps up, I might just have to become the greatest firebender of all time, too.”

Zuko laughs. “I look forward to it,” he says sincerely – this is the earthbender who’d learned from badgermoles, after all, even if she’s also busy snickering at his unintentional pun. “Tell Aang to bring you to go meet the dragons sometime, I think you’d love them.”

“Please. I’d rather ask Uncle instead, Twinkletoes would just be distracting.” Fair point. “And you’re coming with.”

The Sun Warriors might sooner feed an earthbender to the dragons rather than grant an audience with them, but Zuko nods anyway. “Alright. Good night, Toph.”

“Night, Sparky,” comes the mumble in reply, already half-asleep, and Zuko closes his eyes.

.

.

.

[suspen5-blog]

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[lorewytch]

Make a Move Scene..

Authors Note: Hello everyone! ^^ My writing mojo is all over the place at the moment. So sorry I haven’t really posted anything in a few days. I have another finished scene for you from Make a Move. This may be the last scene I post on here until I start writing the full stories so be prepared for more angst, more ducks and more adventure!! This scene is a light and fluffy party scene...and since Scrooge is hosting it, it’s sure to be quite the affair! It might have slight hints (very very slight) of shipping but keep in mind the ages of the kids here is 16. Besides this story will mostly be focusing on Webby’s relationship with her father anyways. Anyway, I love this scene and found it fun to write the banter between them all XDDD Funny story about this scene too: When I first wrote it out, a power outage happened at my house and unfortunately I didn’t save what I had written so one part of the scene had to be rewritten, basically Dewey’s scene with Webby was redone from scratch. I lamented about the lost writing for a couple days before I finally got over it and started to write it again. Man....now if only that was the ONLY time I lost writing due to my computer losing power and/or restarting during the night. ;_;....

Anyways, enjoy!

Glancing at her mirror, Webby brushed a hand through her short hair nervously. Biting her beak she once more gazed down at the purple dress that fit her body almost perfectly. It was slightly loose with a clasp on her right shoulder seemingly holding the entire thing on her body. The glitter on it was almost blinding which is why she chose it. The same with the pink rose hairclip which had replaced her bow. Slowly she looked back at the bow resting on her night stand. Her mind was in chaos, how could she be doing this while her deranged father was on the loose? Granted, she had never spoken to the duck himself. But still, everything she heard seemed to point to him as the bad guy.

Gripping her dress, she tried to erase those thoughts. She needed to enjoy tonight. This was her birthday after all. The triplets had taken two months to wear Scrooge down to give her this. This was a reason to celebrate. She was turning 16 today. She was officially a mid teen and a step closer to womanhood.

A knock on her door caused her to look up and see her Granny. “Webby? Are you ready darling?”

Webby gave her Grandmother a bright smile. “Yes! How do I look?” Using her index finger and thumb, she picked up a lower piece of her dress and brought her arm up slightly. Spinning around, she felt like her hair was floating as well as her dress as she stopped before her grandmother once again.

Beakley gave her a somewhat sad smile. “You look absolutely beautiful darling.” Finding a tear slide down her face, Webby blushed a bit and grinned.

“Thanks Granny…” Blinking, she became surprised as her grandmother wrapped her within a warm hug and she returned it with everything she had.

“Well then, lets go and show you off..” Beakley smirked and took her hand. But as they walked towards the staircase she list off several ways to keep herself and others safe should the worst happen.

“And finally..” Beakley took her daughters shoulders in each hand and lowered herself to her height, staring deeply within her eyes. “If anyone asks you to dance…..you know what to do.”

“Right!” Grinning, Webby clenched her hand into a fist. Giving her a kiss on the top of her head, Beakley let go and watched from the side as Webby made her way to the top of the stairs.

Glancing down the stairs as she began to walk, she saw the triplets near the bottom of the staircase. All three were chatting to each other and Dewey laughed as Louie smirked. Huey rolled his eyes and smirked at his younger brother. Scrooge was by the punch bowl with Goldie of all ducks. Launchpad, dressed to the nines was chatting with Duckworth who was standing near the front door with a raised eyebrow and seemed to only be half hearing the rambling.

A few other guests including Gyro, Fenton, Selene and Storkules also seemed flitter about the room.

Finally, she reached the top of the stairs and the triplets instantly looked up. She couldn’t help it, she let out a giggle as Dewey’s lower beak hit the floor. Huey looked almost equally shocked, blinking three times before his face returned to normal. Louie, to his credit had a hand covering his bill to stifle his own slight gasp before he sent a smirk and elbow jab to the middle child. Now he was smiling slightly and nodded to Webby as she slowly walked down the staircase. Now it seemed as if everyones eyes were on her and she had to admit, it made her feel extremely nervous.

But as she reached the last step, a hand was waiting to take hers.

It was Scrooge McDuck with a warm smile.

Feeling excited, she took it and let him lead her through the parting crowd towards the dance floor.

“Webbigail, you look absolutely breathtaking.” Scrooge commented and once again she felt her cheeks warm.

“Thanks so much Uncle Scrooge.” She said a bit shyly, but was almost skipping with him.

“Would ye like to dance? Aye know I’m a little rusty but..” Scrooge hummed and bowed.

Squealing a little in excitement, Webby nodded and took his hand. Scrooge swept them both across the floor to the dance floor and Webby looked up at her mentor with pure happiness. All those years locked within the mansion, finally her wishes were coming true. Scrooge was finally acknowledging her and even wanting her to call him her uncle. She finally had a family she could be happy and proud of. She could finally find something worth protecting just like her mother had. They danced for a few minutes with Scrooge gracefully guiding her.

Spinning her a bit, Scrooge leaned in and winked. “And just between ye and me….Aye got ye more than one gift this year.” He felt proud of himself to see her smile suddenly brighten to the max. She broke away a bit and hugged him around the neck. “Thank you so much!” She pulled away and glanced around. “But…really this is the best present I could ever have…just being here with all my family.” She glanced back at him, rubbing her hands together nervously. “You have no idea how long I have wanted this.”

Scrooge looked at his niece with a soft smile and pat her head gently as to not mess up her hair.

“Lass, don’t yet worry. This will never go away.” He said firmly. “We will always be there for ye.” He glanced up and then looked down with an amused expression. “Aye better go comfort O’Gilt the girl gets jealous so easily.” He chuckled. Webby rolled her eyes. “And it seems ye have a line forming of yer own.” Tilting his head a bit to one side, Webby glanced over to see the triplets.

While at first they all had been staring, suddenly with her eyes on them all three glanced away. Louie was whistling and looking at his hands. Dewey was adjusting his tie looking ten times more nervous. Huey had pulled out his JWG from somewhere and was staring into it, every once in a while glancing up to see if Webby was still looking.

She giggled a bit again and started to walk towards the boys with a smirk. She couldn’t help it, they all looked adorably awkward especially in their suit and ties. Once she got close enough, she held out her hand to all three of them.

“Does anyone want to dance?” She asked with a slight tilt of her head.

All three shared a glance and their nervousness turned into determination. All three nodded and Huey glanced at her. “Yes, I do.” Taking her hand, Huey ran to the dance floor. Blinking, she let the oldest duck triplet drag her behind him.

Yet when they got to the dance floor, suddenly Huey looked a little nervous. He cleared his throat.

Holding his hand out, she took it and he placed his other hand on her waist. They began to dance a little and she could see Huey’s slight stiffness. Still, he was pretty good and she couldn’t help but ask. “Huey you are surprisingly good dancer, where did you learn to dance?”

“Oh, Junior Woodchucks of course!”

“They teach that?”

“I won the expert patches for tap, jazz, ballet, clogdancing and ballroom.” He grinned slightly. “Dewey got Ballroom too, Louie….just did his own thing. Well, you’ll see in a bit.” He chuckled.

“Clog dancing? Cool! You’ll have to show me that sometime!” Webby looked excited about that.

Huey rolled his eyes a bit, but he was smiling. “Only you’d be excited about clog dancing..” chuckling a little, he spun her around and dipped her a bit before bringing her back up and showing off some of his fancy moves. Webby herself was up for the challenge and narrowed her eyes with a smirk. Trying to control the situation, she soon took the lead from the surprised Huey and finished their dancing twirling him and dipping him.

“Woah..” he was breathless and Webby brought him back up with a shrug. They parted as the song ended. Suddenly Louie was there, tapping his brother and Huey stepped back. Waving to her and grinning he let Louie take her hand this time.

“Bye Huey!” She waved with her free hand and then turned her attention to the youngest triplet. “Louie! How are you liking the party?” she asked excited as they began to dance.

Both of their hands were clasped together as they danced. It seemed Louie knew less about ballroom dancing than his brothers.

“Oh, y’know its cool.” He shrugged. “A bit boring but I think it’s getting better.” He eyed her dress and smirked. “You certainly clean up well.”

Blushing a bit, she spun them both around in a circle before looking a bit to the side, annoyed. “Louie!”

He laughed a bit. “Sorry Webs I couldn’t resist.” Grinning he spun her around and into his chest. Her back pressed firmly against his chest she looked up at him.

Sticking her tongue at him she smirked and spun out, extending her free hand out and bringing herself back, taking his hand. They swung their arms in time with the song and she looked around a bit before looking back to her dance partner. “Hey…Louie..”

“Mmmph?” The youngest asked, his relaxed gaze upon only her. She looked like she was struggling to say something. Then sighed and shook her head.

“Nothing, nevermind..” She gave him another small smile and soon their song was over. As she slipped her hands from his, Louie tilted his head and gave her a worried look.

“Look Webs, whatever is bothering you. You know you can come to any of us. Sometimes it just helps to talk stuff out y’know?” He smiled and waved a bit. The next song was coming on and she nodded. Louie soon vanished and she was watching all the others dancing around her. Thoughts of what had been going on were invading her mind. She couldn’t stop thinking about her father. It was so annoying. She was supposed to be only thinking about tonight.

Ugh, maybe some punch would help her scattered mind.

Quickly she walked to the punch bowl. She downed two cups before Dewey approached her from the side.

“Milady, may I have this dance?” Dewey grinned, bowing. Glancing over, Webby was glad to see him. “Of course!!” She was so happy her best friend wanted to dance with her.

Slipping her hand within his, he slowly led her to the dance floor. Just to show off he spun her a bit as the high tempo music started. It sounded like a classic song from the 80s, but both teens seemed to enjoy it. Laughing, Dewey’s dramatic moves always kept Webby on the edge of her seat. He spun her and released her only for him to appear behind her and grab her hand again. His dancing was a mixture of tango and ballroom. With of course some Dewey flare mixed in.

If anyone could give her a run for her money with dancing, it certainly was Dewey Duck. Smirking and leveling her gaze with his own she opted for her own moves. She was so happy she could feel herself be lost within the music. She caught him off guard and took his hand and wrapped her own arm around his waist, dipping him low and winking. Then bringing him up. Not giving him time to reorient himself, she spun him and expertly placed her foot behind the other. He ended up tripping over it and she caught him, their beaks very close to one another as she once again held him in a low dip.

“Aww Dewey are you falling for me?” She joked and his wide eyes were lost within her own.

“Um…I..” was his intelligent response before he shook himself free from her spell. Smirking he leaned up, a comeback burning his tongue.

“What? you mean you haven’t noticed?”

Surprised by that comment, she didn’t notice as she was bringing him up once more that his own hands were assuming domination over the dancing again. It seemed as if this would go on for a while yet.

Both ducks were so dizzy by the end of the song that they were leaning against each other, catching their breath. Unaware they had several sets of eyes upon them.

“Oh wow…that was great Dewey.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet..” he replied a bit breathless.

Chuckling, she pulled herself up and together the duo made their way off the dance floor. But as she walked, a flash of black and white slid past her peripheral vision. Finding herself distracted, she turned to where she saw that flash. But saw only a small group of people talking and eating. Still, the slight pause caused Dewey to stop as well and glance where she was looking.

“Webs? What’s wrong?” tilting his head curiously, once she brought her head back she gave him a weak smile.

“Oh, no worries. I just thought I saw something…” Her gaze slightly drifted back, as if wanting to will what she saw back within her sight.

Dewey’s grasp on her hand tightened a fraction, once more bringing back her attention.

“C’mon Webs. Take a break from Spy Webby and enjoy the party.” Smiling, he dragged her over by the food table. “Besides, no one is going to break into this party..” laughing, he pointed to Duckworth who was standing guard at the front doors. “After all, we have the best security around.”

Once her eyes met food Webby instantly grabbed a few things. “You’re right.” She laughed a bit and glanced back at the front door as well. “There’s no way he would show up here anyways..”

“He?” Dewey frowned. But Webby didn’t answer.

Instead her mind seemed to be everywhere at once, her eyes drifted to the barrage of guests at the party. She was so distracted she didn’t notice the flurry of emotions flittering across Dewey’s face. Instead her eyes were focused straight ahead.

She scanned the room, trying to see someone that she knew couldn’t be there. But the pounding of her heart, the electric pulsing of the air. Everything seemed to indicate that something was very wrong.

Suddenly she saw it.

A man wearing a cape and his eyes covered with a black mask. Even with his face covered the hairstyle was unmistakable.

Briefly she heard Dewey yell out her name. But she was already on her feet, running through the group of people.

She saw Selene glance at her, saw the startled expression of Scrooge and Goldie on the dance floor. She even saw her Granny near the refreshment stand.

But then her focus was to the masked man before her sliding through the guests until he reached the middle of the room. As Webby stopped and reached out, he lifted one arm up, fingers splayed out.

He snapped his middle and thumb.

A click echoed within the now silent room.

Darkness enveloped the room.

Chaos reigned.

“Someone turn on the blasted lights!” Scrooge raged.

The sounds of people stumbling over each other and frantic yelling echoed within the room. Selene held out a orb of light and after a few more tense minutes finally the lights blared back on momentarily blinding everyone in the room.

“What in blazes what that?” Scrooge hissed.

A sudden yell directed his attention to the middle of the room.

Huey, Dewey and Louie were frantically looking around and reached the middle of the ballroom at the same time Scrooge did.

Webby was no where in sight.

Webby had vanished.

[sosthemortalcoil]

Fluff Fueled by Spite

Alright so on the discord it was said that @thesearobberssun​ and I couldn’t write fluff. ( @thenickelportrust​ is a brilliant game--also just updated, so even more reason to go play it if you haven’t!--and I adore it to bits.)

We were given two prompts: Sleepy morning cuddles, and flowers. Limit of 5k words which I just squeaked by. We also let the discord pick characters. Since Rena did her angsty boy, it was decided I would do one as well (There are a lot of them though >.>) and therefore Mr. Oblivious aka Ramiel aka Walking Talking Trouble is featured. Written from his POV, per agreed.

Enjoy this pure fluff and lots of flower stuff!

The first light of morning enters the bedroom, painting gold bands of light across their sleeping face. Smiling down at them fondly, Ramiel strokes the top of their head gently, bending down to press a soft kiss to their forehead. He doesn’t want to leave their side, but he has plans.

A touch of corrupted Grace ensures that they’ll stay sleeping while he carries out his plans. Carefully he extracts himself from their embrace, pulling the sheets up around them and giving them another fleeting kiss on their cheek.

The first bazaar he enters smells of incense and metals, sweat and brimstone. It’s warm, but the only flowers he can find are dried and pressed. That’s not what he’s after.

The second one is even noisier, with the marketplace covered by a canopy of masterful tapestries that turn everything into a kaleidoscope of brilliant colors. At first he believes that this, too, is a bust, but right as he turns to leave he catches a glimpse in his peripheral vision of a riot of glowing flowers being hauled away on someone’s back.

Heedless of anyone else’s comfort, Ramiel dives through the crowd, twisting and weaving through the various sundry denizens as he struggles to keep the bobbing flowers in sight. The streets grow narrower and the noisy din starts to fade, but Ramiel still doggedly pursues his prey.

He’s sure he’s finally found the flower bearer, but when he rounds the last corner he saw them disappear down, he finds only shoppers swaddled in dark cloths and not a single glowing bloom in sight. Mumbling under his breath about the nuisances of trans-dimensional markets, he once more goes to give up with a diminutive figure tugs on his pants.

“You seek something for a love?” they ask, too many eyes to count blinking up at him from beneath their headscarf.

“I—I wanted to bring them flowers,” Ramiel admits, knowing better than to ask silly questions like how this creature could know why he was here. It was relatively safe to answer anyways; the markets had their own laws preventing any acts that would endanger customers.

The creature grins, the teeth appearing above the eyes, thousands of little needles. “This way then! Java knows best. He speaks the language of many flowers.” The little creature scampers away, Ramiel following the tower of their bright head-wrap to a plain wooden door, no windows in sight.

“Here, here!” As expected, Ramiel fishes out a gold coin and tips the small creature. They toss it into a fold of their head-wrap, bow, and vanish in a puff of smoke.

Ramiel pushes the unmarked shop door open, a chorus of bells jingling softly as he enters.

“One moment,” a low voice like that of tectonic plates shifting greets him. It takes Ramiel a few moments to adjust to the darkness of the shop. He’s disappointed when he sees a ton of buckets with not a single flowering bloom in sight.

“What brings you to Java’s?” The shadow behind the counter moves, a hulking creature of rough angles and jutting protrusions speaking to him.

“I was told I could find some flowers here,” Ramiel admits, rubbing the back of his neck. Another dead end. He might need to give up and find an earth florist. Gabriel isn’t going to stay asleep forever.

“You won’t find what you seek,” Java responds. Ramiel sighs.

“I thought as—”

“I was not done speaking,” Java interjects, a note of reprimand in his voice.

Ramiel shuts his mouth.

“You will not find what you seek here,” he continues to rumble, restarting from before Ramiel interrupted him. “But you will find what you need.”

Ramiel arches an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure that’s what every merchant would prefer I believe,” he states with amusement. “And if you don’t have any flowers for me, then I’m afraid I must be going. I—”

Once more he’s cut across. “Old yet still so young and impatient. The lessons you learn best are the ones that come with a heavy price.”

Ramiel’s jaw clicks shut.

“You seek some pretty blossom to present to your soulmate.” When there’s a deliberate pause, Ramiel gives a cautious nod.

“But you are deaf to the language of the flowers, blind to the way they speak. I shall enlighten you.” Anywhere else, it would sound like a load of hyperbole and hogwash.

Here, Ramiel bows his head in deference. “I would appreciate that greatly, Java.” The huge figure comes around the counter, squeezing through a space that doesn’t look like it should hold him. Ramiel blinks, and decides not to think about it.

“Here.” Java jabs one blunt finger at a bucket. Ramiel raises a questioning eyebrow.

“Touch the flowers.” Wary, but curious, Ramiel reaches out and brushes his fingers over the stalks. A soft gasp escapes him as a riot of golden sparks fall onto his outstretched hand, a riot of color exploding into the dim interior of the shop.

The long petals fall across his fingers, bleeding from gold in the center to a fiery red-orange on the outside edges. The stamen reach for his fingers, dusted with more of the glowing golden embers, the entire flower casting soft flickering light like a torch.

“The Flames of Passion,” Java informs him. “All of these flowers bloom because of what you feel; they are not simply pretty items to be tossed hither and thither as part of an archaic courting ritual.”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with the classics,” Ramiel protests, leaning forward. His surprise is increased when the blossoms smell like Gabriel, their Grace scent rising to meet his nose.

“If I did not appreciate flowers and the sharing of them with others, we would not be here,” Java reprimands.

“The Flames of Passion usually bloom for new lovers, part of a new relationship, a new, consuming love where-in there is room for little else. This love has not had time to mature, raw and consuming.”

Ramiel lets out a nervous chuckle. “I’m not sure—” This time he stops himself, letting Java continue at his slow and controlled pace.

“For you, it is a revival. This love has been a long time coming, but each day you wake to be surprised by its existence. You want to share some of that wonder. Which is why the Flames of Passion are not the only blooms I will share with you. Please, touch them all.”

Feeling like a child, with a whole new world of possibilities spread out before them, Ramiel reaches out, dragging his fingers across rows and rows of stalks, occasionally hissing as he encounters thorns or fine hairs that prick against his skin.

Several types of flowers open partially, some give him a token shudder of growth, but in the end three more open fully, creating patches of soft blue, white iridescent rainbows, and another one that doesn’t cast a wide aura but instead fills the air with stars.

“Misty Waters, Eternal Love, and Traveler’s Guide.”

Java points to the dark blue flower, something that looked vaguely like an earth lily, if Earth lilies were the size of small children and had glowing blue orbs at the center of them, freckles of purple scattered across the giant petals. “Misty Waters. It’s not always been the easiest course. Sometimes you’ve lost sight of each other. Sometimes you’ve wandered without direction, unsure of where or how to proceed. But the waters calm, and while your eyes may say you’re lost, the heart knows better. As long as you have each other, you will only wander, never again lost.”

“Eternal Love might seem self-explanatory,” Java muses, tickling the riot of gossamer white petals that send out an intense white light with rainbows dancing on the edges, as if refracted through some crystal or prism. “But the colloquial use is one that detracts from the truth this flower speaks. They will only bloom for those who have found an eternal soulmate. All the youth seem so concerned about romantic love, but the truth is there are many soulmates for a single person. Platonic, familial—there are many kinds. However, not all soulmates remain so across the multitude of existences.”

Java pulls his hand away, and the light narrows, chasing his retreating fingers. “Rarely do they bloom, for they only do so if the bond is true, returned, and eternal. This is the kind of love that death cannot touch, that survives and goes on even after whoever it binds has passed from living memory. The last one I saw blossom was well over six centuries ago. Many come in, believing they have found true love, and often it is true love, but true love is not the same as eternal. This love will pass the test of time, past the end of one and beginning of another.”

Finally Java trudges over to the last flower. “Traveler’s Guide. I believe an Earth equivalent might be the North Star. In this case, for you, it means your partner is the course by which you plot your life. No matter how far you wander or how far you drift apart, you will always come back together. They are your home, your light in the darkness, keeping you safe and warm, guiding you back to them.”

Ramiel swallows. “These are—something else, aren’t they?” he asks in wonder, watching the array of lights.

“That they are.” Java moves, and the lights slowly peter out, the flowers folding back up into themselves. “I’ll have them delivered.”

“You do deliveries? The penthouse is warded.”

Java chuckles. “Do not concern yourselves. The wards keep out any who mean harm.”

Ramiel doesn’t bother asking anymore questions. All he’ll get in response is more cryptic non-answers. “Very well. What do I owe?”

“Nothing much. To bloom they require a depth of emotion many do not possess. They feed on emotion, basking in it like the plants on Earth do in the sun. It does not lessen your own emotions. Simply keep them in a place of honor and nurture them.”

“That seems too simple.” Ramiel tilts his head.

Java turns around, and suddenly his back erupts into a riot of colors, a rainbow of living lights. “Our existence is symbiotic. The flowers need a voice, and we need their light.”

He turns back around, and a smile spreads across his rough-hewn features, showing off a mouth of crystals. “Not unlike your feelings for…” Java inclines his head. “Gabriel.”

Ramiel sucks in a breath, a smile curving his lips. “They are my everything,” he agrees, rubbing his chin. “And I want to—I want to be there for them.”

Java nods. “You are now. Or will be, shortly. You should go, return to them.” Ramiel holds up his hands, chuckling.

“As you say. Merry meet and farewell again till the suns shall rise and the moon hold safe your slumber, the mother mountain’s embrace home as the meadow flowers share their secrets for your soul.”

Java lets loose a chorus of grating, rumbling noises Ramiel recognizes as laughter. “Merry meet, traveler. Journey safe to the arms of your love.”

Farewells exchanged, Ramiel steps out the door—and into another shop. He takes a breath, and blows it out, cheeks puffing as he looks around.

“You again.”

The voice is airy, and sounds bored.

“Me, again?”

Ethereal hands appear in front of him, crossing. Even without seeing more of a body, he gets the impression that they are less than pleased. “Most people only share one, uggg, how to say this in your simplistic understanding of language, hmm… heart? Heart-fruit. You share it with your love, and you will never be alone again.”

Ramiel’s eyes widen. “You! I remember you!”

One hand flaps at him while the other wanders off. “Yes, yes, the impressive multi-dimensional being whose shop you stumbled into because you just had to try showing off your language skills and instead insulted a whole troop of Rhivunians. I’m fairly sure your name is still considered a foul word in their native tongue.”

Ramiel shrugs, cocky grin in place as he leans back. “I’m memorable, what can I say?”

Something comes hurtling out of the interior of the shop, and he catches it by reflex. “Now leave, before you do something,” the voice orders.

“I don’t even know how I got here! For once, I am completely innocent.” The hand still in front of him points at him, the large forefinger tipped in a blunt claw approaching with such vehemence that he stumbles back a step.

“You? Innocent? I’ve never had to give someone two of those! I don’t want to know what your love life looks like, but take it and get out.”

Ramiel rocks his head from side-to-side, a chagrined smile affixed in place. “Well, to be fair, I think you used a different word last time and I might have shared it with my nestmates not realizing it’s only meant for lovers—”

“GET OUT!”

This time the finger jabs at him, and then at a barely visible exit. “Are you sure? I’d be happy to—”

The other hand reappears from around a corner and Ramiel takes that as a sign to make his getaway.

This time he exits into the main square of the marketplace. It’s easy enough to hop a few portals back to earth, though he doesn’t return home, not right away.

“Oh my goodness gracious is that my favorite fallen angel?!” The voice that greets him is quickly followed by a chorus of squeals. In a moment Ramiel is surrounded by a group of dryads, all of them fawning over the strange fruit he has cradled in his arms.

“Is that for us?” Veracaea rises up on her tiptoes, reaching for the strange looking fruit. Ramiel quickly holds it over his head. Only Betulacaea is tall enough to reach, and he’s observing calmly from the edges.

“All right, settle down!” Salix claps their hands, and with some mumbling, the dryads give Ramiel.

“What can we do you for? Need snares? Instant forest growth?” Salix has their hands on their hips, appraising him.

“Nothing quite so dramatic, but much more important,” Ramiel informs them, lowering the fruit so he can cradle it against his chest again. “I…need two flower crowns. For me and my lover.”

The squeals this time could pierce eardrums. Betulacaea is the one who restores order this time. “Finally settling down?”

“Finally returning home, to where I should have been,” Ramiel responds, his smile rueful.

Varacaea bustles him over to a chair. “Wait here. We need to confer.”

The dryads disappear into the back of the shop, leaving Ramiel alone up front. He hopes this is quick. If Gabriel wakes up before he returns, then the surprise will be ruined.

The minutes tick by painfully slow on the clock. He squirms in his seat, and glances down at the fruit in his arms. It hadn’t tasted great the first time, but apparently it was supposed to tie together the hearts and souls of whoever ate it. Strange, it hadn’t seemed to work the first time. Maybe that was because he hadn’t understood what he felt back then.

The thought of him and Michael being tied together permanently makes him snort. That would have been a disaster.

Salix pokes their head out. “Come here. We need you to listen and learn.” They smirk. “Not your specialties, but I have a feeling you are particularly invested this time.”

Ramiel grumbles, but gets to his feet and follows the cheeky dryad into the backroom. A pair of flower crowns rest on the table, a myriad of plants artfully woven together.

Salix picks up the first one. “Each features a centerpiece of an acorn,” they say, pointing to the little oak nut. “This symbolizes life and immortality. The base of ambrosia is reciprocated love. Arbutus sprinkled for you only do I love.” They point to yellow-green flowers and then the white waxy ones in turn.

“Varacaea wanted some camellias, but they’re just not well-suited for crowns.”

“But I won on the daisies,” Varacaea chimes in smugly, pointing to the delicate chain of the small white and yellow flowers. “Daisies for loyal love.”

“Technically innocence too, but we all know you don’t have any of that left,” Betulacaea interjects. “But add a dandelion or two for faithfulness and happiness, contrast with some blue forget-me-nots for true love, and it works out.”

“I wanted to add some grass to yours for submission,” Varacaea takes over the conversation again. “Never seen you so in love.”

Salix smacks her with the back of one of their long-fingered hands. “Instead some white heather to represent wishes coming true, as well as protection of your love and life.”

Varacaea waggles her wispy brows. “Especially the bedroom ones.”

“I am never letting you hang out with the Greek gods again,” Salix moans, pinching the bridge of their flat nose.  “Anyways, bells of Ireland for luck—”

“Heaven knows you need it,” Varacaea interrupts, dancing out of Salix’s reach.

“Some myrtle for yet more love, and stock for an expression of your bond and that you will always find each beautiful.” Salix finishes, turning to Betu.

The tallest of the dryads takes a breath and finishes the spiel. “Lastly, stephanotis for happiness in your relationship. Technically most understand it as happiness in marriage, but we take it as happiness in your bond, may it be eternal, for unlike mortals, death is not a given and marriage is not a state endemic to your kind.”

Ramiel nods his head.

“You’re not going to remember half of that, are you?” Salix asks, sympathetically.

“Nope,” Ramiel affirms.

They pass him a list and the two crowns. “Don’t get caught reading from the list. It’s not very romantic.”

“Hey, I can do romance!” Ramiel protests.

“No doubt about that, you flirt.” Varacaea pushes him out of the back and towards the front. “Now go and be a romantic sap elsewhere and leave us to our business.”

They all wave him off as he juggles the crowns and the fruit. Glancing about, he slips into an alleyway, moving between planes to arrive in front of the high-rise he now calls home.  

He carefully opens the door, tiptoeing in and relieved when he doesn’t find Gabriel awake and waiting for him. What he does find, however, is a fair amount of the flowers from Java’s shop, still closed up, resting on the counter.

Now that he has everything, the real work begins.

The first problem he discovers is that the second he makes contact with the flowers, they bloom, and none of them are the paltry size of the flowers found on Earth. So he wraps a pair of kitchen towels around his hands and carries them to the bedroom like that. The second problem is that he can’t arrange them until he touches them because he has no idea what they are closed up.

The towels come off, and he only gets hit in the face by one of the large Eternal Love. To check the ambiance, he artificially thickens the blinds until the only light comes from the flowers. Closest to the bed is a low blue glows and a scattering of stars projected above the bed. Then comes the rainbows within the white light, and finally a core of flickering orange-red at the foot of the bed.

Not bad, if he says so himself.

The next stage is breakfast. A single plate, the fruit centered on it with a pair of forks crossed above it, and two cups of coffee. Cream and sugar just like he knows they like it.

Carefully he brings it to the bedroom, and then slaps the heel of his palm to his forehead. The crowns.

He goes back to the living room and puts his on, trying not to look at any reflective surfaces. It probably looks ridiculous on him, as ostentatious as it is. Instead he reads over the list again, trying to commit all the components woven in together. Then he takes his off and switches it, realizing that the one he had been holding had grass. Looks like Varacaea had snuck some in anyways.

Gabriel probably didn’t even put any stock in these meanings humans had conjured for the flowers. Still, he wants to do this. Even if it is silly, the gesture alone is important.

Carrying the remaining crown carefully in his hands, he slips back into bed.

Gabriel murmurs restlessly in their magic-enhanced slumber. Smiling, he leans down and presses a kiss to their forehead, removing his magic in the same motion.

A pair of sleep-befuddled eyes open, blinking up at him. They squint, following the motion of small stars through the air.

Then they take in his appearance. Their mouth drops open as their eyes widen. “That is, uh, quite a statement going on there,” they murmur, reaching up and tucking a strand of his hair back behind his hair.

“I hope you like it, because I have one for you!” Ramiel produces the crown from behind his back and holds it out for Gabriel.  

Gabriel arches their eyebrows, trying to conceal a smile. “Did you make this yourself? Should I be concerned about spiders in it?”

Ramiel pokes the tip of their nose. “One time. It was one time. No one specified checking for insects prior to putting them on someone’s head.”

Gabriel shakes their head in mock pity. “Some would say it’s self-explanatory.”

“If my life made sense, I wouldn’t have you,” Ramiel murmurs, leaning over and placing the crown on their head before kissing them gently. “My own personal miracle.”

Gabriel strokes the side of his cheek. “What brought this on?”

Ramiel laughs, the sound seeming to increase the intensity of the light the showers shed. “You.”

“Me? What did I do?” Gabriel looks confused.

“Nothing and everything.” Gabriel scowls at that answer and swats at his crown. Chuckling, Ramiel catches their hand, kissing the inside of the wrist. “Time is a construct that is subjective and we often move outside of it. But I want you to know I love each moment, each second. Waking up with you is the only way I want to start every day, until the sun dies and beyond.”

He reaches out, touching the centerpiece of Gabriel’s crown. “Acorn for eternal life—immortality. Ambrosia forming the foundation, as our love does. Arbutus, because it is you alone I love.”

Gabriel’s eyes soften, watching him carefully as he continues, trying to recite everything perfectly. “Mine has grass, for submission, for as I am your equal, I want to submit to your love, let it rule over me.” Ramiel licks his lips. “Forget-me-nots for true love, for you are the only one I have ever, and will ever, truly love. My heart and soul are yours. Heather, white, so that all our wishes together come true, and that our life together, our love, is protected.”

There’s a green one, with vaguely bell-shaped blossoms that takes him a moment. “Oh! The Bells of Ireland for luck, because with my record, I need all the luck I can get.” He threads his fingers with Gabriel’s. “Though I think I used it all up when you told me you loved me,” he whispers, voice choked with emotion.

Gabriel squeezes their clasped hands. “You forgot a couple. I know daises are for loyal love, ,and dandelions for happiness. Daniel made me a flower-crown once,” they explain.

“Right!” A nervous chuckle escapes him. “That leaves… you know what, it’s all more of the same. Love, happiness, good wishes and that we may never part.” He leans forward, Gabriel meeting him halfway, pressing their forehead together, breathing in each other’s spirit.  

“You’re a dork, and I love it,” Gabriel whispers. They find his lips, their free hand grasping the back of his neck, holding him captive. Unnecessary; he’s already spell-bound by the smile he can feel against his mouth.

Then Gabriel’s eyes flick sideways, motion catching their attention. Their brows lower and they pull away. “Okay, the flower crowns I get, but what are the rest of these?”

“Er…” Ramiel stares at the flowers. “Flowers from the bazaar on Aadzt. They only open in the presence of emotions. The red ones are the Flames of Passion.”

Gabriel’s lips curve in a knowing smirk. Ramiel blushes. “Eternal Love,” he points to the white flowers, their outline hazy due to the light they emanate.

“What is the one that is putting out stars?”

“Traveler’s Guide. It means that you are my North Star. I will always find my way home to you, guided by our love,” Ramiel murmurs, nuzzling Gabriel’s cheek. They laugh, and this time Ramiel’s certain the flowers glow brighter.

“Lastly, Misty Waters. We haven’t had the easiest of stories, which is mostly my fault. But sometimes it takes setting aside what you take for granted or obvious to find what you’re truly looking for.”

Gabriel leans against him, nestling their head beneath his chin. “I’m impressed,” they admit, still holding one of his hands captive.

“Then wait until the grand finale!”

Gabriel tilts their head back. “Ramiel, I love you, but hearing those words from your mouth strikes a chord of fear deep within me,” they inform him.

Ramiel kisses their brow. “Have some faith,” he chides, using his free hand to awkwardly bring the tray to his lap.

Gabriel stares at the fruit. “Is that the awful tasting fruit you brought back that one time?” they demand to know, nose wrinkling in disgust.

“We were eating it wrong,” Ramiel informs Gabriel, picking up a fork.

“Oh really? And what do we need to do differently this time?” They pick up their own fork, but use it to poke Ramiel’s side instead of the fruit.

“Well, for starters, you’re only supposed to eat it with your soulmate,” Ramiel comments. He nudges the thick skin of the fruit.

“If you’re trying to say the company you eat it in makes all the difference, then I have questions,” Gabriel comments. Ramiel squirms away from their offending fork, only to still as the coffee cups lurch precariously.

Gabriel’s smile turns devious. “Nowhere to run,” they murmur, kissing his throat and up to the underside of his jaw, rubbing the faint trace of his stubble against their cheek.

“The only place I would run is into your arms, and I’m already here,” Ramiel retorts. He narrows his eyes at the fruit. “I’m certain that it isn’t as bad as we remember it.”

“That makes one of us,” Gabriel says in resignation, moving their fork to also tentatively stab at it.

“Hmm.” Ramiel drops his fork, and tries to dig in his nails to peel back the skin. “Well, last time we ate this part so maybe we shouldn’t?”

“You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”

“I have some ideas.”

Gabriel snorts, dropping their fork and grabbing the fruit to stop it from tipping the plate.

Abruptly the top starts to curl away. Both of them jerk their hands back, exchanging a glance. “It didn’t do that last time,” Ramiel offers helpfully.

“No, it—oh, that’s different.” As the skin falls away, it reveals a mound of pearl like seeds, their insides swirling with different colors. “You’re still trying it first,” Gabriel declares, reaching out and prying one from the strange tower. It comes away easily.

“You feeding me by hand? Of course it will be goo—oof,” Ramiel’s mouth opens as Gabriel elbows him, popping the piece of fruit between his lips.

He chews ponderously, lips quirked to the side.

“So?”

Ramiel takes one and offers it to Gabriel, raising his eyebrows and smirking without offering a word of comment.

“If it’s as bad as last time, you will regret this Ramiel,” they threaten, before taking it delicately from his fingers.

It’s worth it to watch the way their eyes widen in genuine delight and surprise, touching their lips in wonder. “I don’t—that’s not at all like it was before.”

“It really is all about the company though. It’s to be shared between soulmates. A taste of the bond between us.” Ramiel takes another piece, holding it up to Gabriel’s lips. “You are the light and love of my existence, so for me, it was sunshine and hope and the comfort of your arms.”

Gabriel takes the second piece, eyes closing and head tilting to the side as they chew, slower this time, savoring the flavor. “It’s familiar, like an old friend, but matured with age.” Their eyes open, meeting his. “It’s full of love and wonder, untouched by the darkness you think consumes you because you are good, and you are loved, and you are my soulmate as I am yours.”

Ramiel feels a well of emotions rise within him. Once again he leans down, pressing his forehead to Gabriel’s. “Yours, always and forever, pinna.”

“Always and forever,” Gabriel echoes.

Then they pull away. “But you’re going to have to fight me for this fruit because there’s only the one and after last time, I think I definitely get a larger portion to make up for it.”

Warm laughter, rich and full, fills the air. “We’ll just see about that, love,” Ramiel retorts, picking up his fork again, dueling with Gabriel for the fruit.

In the end it gets eaten, but no one keeps count. Sprawled together on the bed, heads together, hands still entwined; that’s all the pair of lovers care about.  

[thelimitsofcontrol]

Underworld Ascendant Review

It was, basically, the immersive sim that asked the questions: Would you wish to battle your way in?

Crowdfunded through Kickstarter and subsequently signed by writer 505 Games, Underworld Ascendantwas initially pitched as a spiritual successor to Ultima Underworld developed by a veteran team comprising several men and women who worked to the first, most especially its direct designer Paul Neurath.

Regrettably, far out of a tribute to an influential classic, the end result is both a devastating disappointment for Underworld fans along with a really lousy match in its own right. Ascendant is riven with glitches. Each player-empowering attribute is reversed by a collection of bafflingly ill-conceived layout options. And where you go your advancement is continually chafed through an all-pervading absence of refinement.

The narrative, for what it is worth, informs an oblique narrative of warring gods and conveys only tenuous connections to the first Underworld games. You perform as a recognizable selected one teeming with the sole duty of rescuing the world from impending catastrophe. The game's main antagonist bellows his ghostly dangers at the start of every new place as yet another hour ticks by on the doomsday clock, but it is all bluster. Nothing about the planet feels imperiled before the game over screen descends and you are left feeling bemused rather than conquered.

The Stygian Abyss of its subtitle was a multi-level, interconnected dungeon inhabited by varied, warring tribes that detected what felt like different cultural practices. Ascendant's variant of the is made up of seven different levels whose random design (here is a swamp, within a fort( within a volcano) obliterates any proposal of inner consistency and a massive but empty hub region that's so dull to traverse it gets really frustrating to go back to between assignments.

Again unlike the first game, which allow you to wander freely throughout the dungeon and pick up quests out of its own inhabitants, Ascendant requires a more contemporary and compartmentalized approach. There is a job board at the heart where you pick one of four assignments until you step through a portal site into the appropriate site. Critical path missions ask that you come across the abyssal key dropped in each of these seven worlds, however other assignments --every group by one of three factions with whom it is possible to get favor--might get you kill a specific enemy or amass a variety of a particular product. It is possible to just take 1 assignment at a time, but so there is a good deal of hiking back and forth between heartbeat and dungeon degree. And, curiously, any assignment that asks you to accumulate things will dismiss some of said items in your possession and make you collect new ones instead.

None of the assignments are complex and ultimately boil down into entering the dungeon, combating or sneaking your way into a specific place, picking up or murdering everything you require, and legging it back into the closest portal to twist into the hub. There are no NPCs to speak to, no discussions to have, no narrative choices to create, nothing but a lot of what feel as procedurally-generated fetch quests delivered over and over again. If you remember the arbitrary quests given to you from the different Jarls during Skyrim, that is pretty much the whole game hereexcept replicated more than seven inactive dungeon levels rather than spread across an entirely smooth continent.

The nearest Ascendant comes to honoring Underworld's heritage is in the way that it gives players the capability to personalize their playing style. Perhaps you're an axe-wielding fighter that has also mastered recovery magic?

In a wonderful touch, spells are not merely a substitute for firearms, but are far better suited to the cerebral player who would like to use the surroundings to their benefit. 1 spell allows you produce a chunk of fire, by way of instance, but it is not a normal fireball which you hurl in an enemy; it is rather utilized to place different things on fire , state, collapse the path that enemy has been standing on, or more mundanely, burn a weapon that has been blocking your path. The tree is adaptable and lets you craft a personality that reflects how that you need to play with, and leaves lots of space to experiment with different play fashions should you want to roll up a new personality.

The odds of doing this are slim, regrettably. Underworld Ascendant is not only a bare-bones action-RPG, in addition, it is filled with glitches and bugs also conveys a very bizarre save system. I have encountered glitches which I would classify as insignificant: regular deep seated, untextured holes on the planet geometry; traces of dialog repeating on loop till you leave the place; becoming stuck liberally onto a stairs; unable to escape a knee-deep pool of water since the present is strong; standing too near a torso when opening it and using the physics fling you across the area. These problems, and a lot more, I will deal with. They are irritating, confident, but they are not game-breaking.

However, the bugs become game-breaking when, as an instance, your character becomes trapped between two pieces of geometry and the only way out would be to reload. Or if you can't use your bow though you still have plenty of arrows built. Or if you can actually use your bow and see the arrow shoot throughout the world but it apparently passes through the enemy without even doing any harm. Or once an enemy spots you and runs right into a corner and keeps attempting to operate through a wall at the same time you strike it from behind before it expires. Or if you pull on a lever and a rolling spike snare vanishes in the world but remains really there and kills you. Or when an enemy has trapped in a cycle of leaping in the air and throwing a smoke bomb in its feet. These problems, and a lot more, are ones that I can not cope with.

But perhaps most of all, I can not deal with the rescue system. To start with, you can't save wherever you prefer. You are able to conserve if you prefer, however loading this rescue may see you restart in the start of the level with your stock intact but any modifications to the degree reset. It's possible, however, plant a tree sapling at particular points during a level to function as a focal stage should you die, very similar to the Vita-Chambers at Bioshock. This would be fine if Underworld Ascendant was a run-based game in which you are mainly interested in just how far you are able to get and what loot drops. It is a mission-based game in which you are researching a degree for upwards of one hour every time, attempting to finish a particular objective. You are already revisiting the identical level over and over again by virtue of needing to come back to the heart to money in a mission and pick up the following. Needing to restart a degree from the start every time you load a rescue is simply adding insult to injury.

For most gamers, particularly the time-poor, the rescue system will be sufficient to leave Underworld Ascendant unplayable. But if it had been addressed, and also a more traditional system patched , it would not be possible to recommend this game to anybody. At precisely the exact same time, even freed by the hopes its own historic baggage brings, it's a clear failure. The soul of Ultima Underworld resides on elsewhere.

[writinanon]

Gods and Monsters 2

So this story is just deciding not to work with a linear narrative so it’s probably going to jump around a lot I’m sorry. This is set a few years after everything that went down in the first ‘chapter’. The Seeds have been consolidating their powers, isolating themselves from the other Gods and only talking to a select few, learning about Mercy and Ben and the history of Hope leading to them discovering the Witch. I couldn’t find Wheaty’s mother’s name anywhere or if there was a consensus for what it would be so I picked one at random from a list of my favorite characters. Sorry, I’ll happily change it if there is a better name.

  The Witch had been revived. That much was clear from the sickly-sweet smell coming off the water of the River.

 “I don’t get it.” Wheaty murmured looking at the life-blood of the county, the Henbane. “I keep trying but nothing works.” He looked up with large eyes. Mercy recalled those same eyes, his mother’s eyes. She had been the one who held dominion over the River before her son. She had been a strong woman. Mercy was saddened by her passing. But the poison had left a mark on her. It had been eating her away slowly, surely, until she was no more. This was the worst kind of Vanir Magic. Mercy would not let another die simply because she was blind to the sins of one from her Home.

 “Come. Eli you stay. The Witch’s fields aren’t far. We will clear the poison before it spreads.” Mercy promised, unwilling to let the son of her dear friend suffer. “Stay out of the water until then.” The Young God blinked and nodded, warily looking at the green tinted water.

 “Yeah. Good plan.” He nodded. The four of them set out towards the fields.

 “You seem to know what’s causing the river to smell so different.” August said, voice questioning and defensive.

 “A long time ago, before you’d even come to visit here, there was a Vanir Witch who had followed us.” Ben informed with a shrug. His spear and shield were upon his back and he continued forward. “She was a dangerous woman, she believed herself a medicine woman but only ever destroyed people. Her potions and remedies would corrode the mind, until all you were was a puppet for her desires. She had begun poisoning the River then too…” He trailed off looking at Mercy’s back. She could feel his eyes.

 “I did not want to think one of ours would have done such a thing. I was stubborn and prideful. I would not listen to Nisha. In the end I was wrong and it cost Nisha her life. If I had acted sooner, if I had just stopped the Witch, Nisha would be alive and Wheaty would have his mother still.”

 “You didn’t want to think badly, she was from your Home, right?” Dakota chimed in.

 “Yes. She is crafty. Be on guard. Though we might have an easier time of this. It took Nisha and Ben flooding her fields for me to be able to land a blow last time. This time the Wind is fully on our side.” Mercy glanced with a small smile at August. She shrugged and rubbed at her arms. She had a dagger on her hip only because Mercy refused to let her be weaponless if she meant to join them.

 “I don’t see why we couldn’t try talking to her.”

 “Because there is no talking to her.” Mercy murmured harshly. “Believe me I tried.”

 “Did you? Or did you just bark at her and demand she stop. When she thought she was helping?” August asked back and Mercy paused. Dakota looked between the two and then to Ben.

 “Augustine, I understand how you might feel I have betrayed you by not telling you of my True Nature. But I assure you there has never been a lie in my affection. I am not just a mindless Warmonger like other Gods of my Throne. Unlike their Pantheons mine saw fit not to divide the Warrior and the Strategist. I do not want this War. I came here for peace. If there was another way…”

 “You haven’t even tried any other ways.”

 “Nor have they.”

 “Joseph’s tried talking to me, to Ben on several occasions. But you never want to listen either.” Ben and Mercy glanced at each other and Ben sighed.

 “Being twins we can tap into each other’s powers.” He said and Mercy started forward again while the other two lingered to listen. “When someone intends to do me or mine harm, I am aware of it. Joseph has never approached me without intention of doing something that will hurt me. Whether he sees his actions as passive or not, the effect will be that I am put into danger, my life is threatened.” The pair of young women stared at him in shock for a moment before looking to Mercy’s back. The blonde had summoned her Lead Cougar and was pointing to something. The big cat brushed against her before darting off.

 “What is it?” Dakota called.

 “I’m having her scout ahead. We need a rest.” She motioned around them. “We’ll see if there’s a clearing and have a quick meal before we finish our journey.” She said and looked out at the trees.

  August felt no small trace of guilt. If they could just talk to this woman, if Mercy would let her reason with her, then they would see that violence isn’t the answer at all time. The Wind God didn’t buy that Mercy knew when someone was threatening her, even if they weren’t directly doing it. That sort of Foresight was impossible. But Mercy was set in her ways.

 “We’ve arrived. August if you could keep us up wind so that none of the pollen or her powders blow to us, please?” Mercy didn’t even look at her. And it didn’t sound like she was really asking.

 “Yeah sure.” She shifted the wind slightly and Mercy glanced to her and nodded before they moved forward. This still didn’t sit right with her.

 “Mercy and I have some immunity as we have faced her before and she’s Vanir, like us. You two should hang back.” Ben said softly as he moved to stand beside Mercy. Dakota nodded and hung back but August was going to try and prove that they could talk to her.

 “Hail Lord of War!” A voice called out from all around them before a soft green mist began to seethe around them.

 “August the wind.” She moved the mist away from them and looked around for the source. A woman stepped out of a deeper bank of the haze. She was wearing a white lace dress and her long hair fell around her in bronze tendrils. Her eyes were an eerie bright blue. She smiled and held open her arms. “I have awaited your return.”

 “You should have stayed dead.” Mercy hissed, hand going to her axe.

 “Wait!” August called and the pair looked to her. “Please we don’t want to fight you! We just want to talk.” Mercy looked at her as thought she was insane but she ignored it. The other woman gave her a speculative look.

 “Talk? Of what? I’m purifying the river I always have been. And I’ve always helped others see the True Path.”

 “You’re poisoning people and turning them into shells!”

 “Mercy! Please. Miss…”

 “Faith. That is what my Brother calls me.”

 “Please, Faith, the pollen from your flowers is hurting others. And it’s making them sick…”

 “It’s purging them of their corruption.” She informed simply and shook her head. “But a Childe will never know unless shown. I have made something just for you Bóthildr. Won’t you walk with me?” And then she blew a powder, a deep almost emerald powder, at Mercy.

 “August!” But the Wind God wasn’t fast enough and she inhaled the powder. Soon a cloud of it surrounded them all…

  Everything was happening so fast. The images all jumbled together. There was a massive Wolf, a large almost Serpent like creature, a Woman tall with her white hair pulled back and a pure black eye, a Man with red gold hair and bright blue eyes a hammer in his grasp, a Man with darker red hair and green eyes tattoos covering his chest as he smiled cruelly, and then suddenly it seems to focus.

  An older man, hair mostly white with silver glittering among the strands but the dark rusty red still clinging in some places. His lone eye was a glimmering silver color, shifting and turning. The patch that covered his other eye was a brushed black leather. Perched upon his shoulders were a pair of dark birds, ravens that gave sharp caws. His armor was shining and bright, looking like gold, and his leathers and tunic were made of fine materials as well. A crown sat upon his head.

 “So, you think to restart a War, Childe?” He laughed, a booming sound that trailed off at the edges as the world blurred slightly.

 “I will stop the Ragnarök by any means necessary.” Voice strong and sure, hand grasping the handle of the Axe. A crackle of lightning, the growls of many large cats joining. He looked shocked but then he snarled and hurled a spear. It was easily cut in half.

  Things faded, time moved, swirling and twisting. A Woman, tall and slender with a regal air around her, surrounded by fields of flowers and glimmering pools of magic. Her hands are warm, her nails are sharp. The eyes change, altered eternally.

  Everything stops. A field, a Woman of beauty and youth, but broad and muscular, build for fighting. Her dress is deep purple, soft gold stitching lining it intricately. There is a warm smile on her gentle heart shaped face. But her eyes hold sorrow and pain. She does not wish to be here, she does not wish for this to happen. A sharp pain in the chest. This shouldn’t be happening, she shouldn’t be here. Why is she here?

 “The Norns have told you, haven’t they? That the Ragnarök will be far worse than previously thought. That it would only be Us wiped away. That the Yggdrasil would survive. That it would recover, but not anymore. Odin’s meddling has caused everything to become so much worse.”

 “You’re not one of Them. Come home. It doesn’t have to be this way.”

 “I am not Them. But I am tied to Them now. My fate it sealed. I would rather it be you.” Hands, once small and held dearly, lift and remove a golden necklace. “You’ll need this.” Clasped around, the weight is heavy, too heavy. Eyes burn and trails of ice fall down cheeks.

 “Baby sister no. Please. No.” Arms wrap around each other. It happens fast. A blade in the hand, those once small hands above scarred, worn ones. Plunge in, smooth motion.

 “I love you, big sister.” Gently, so gentle lowered to the ground. Agony, rage, sorrow, pain, fear, anguish, fury, tribulation, wrath. The ghost of a wolf stands at the edge of the mourning circle. Slowly it shifts, alters into that of a mountain lion. A Wolf no more, now honor unto the lost a Cat forever more.

  They were yanked from the visions by the scent of smoke and the feeling of heat. Dakota stood not to far from them, having pulled them to safety, with the Bow in her hands. The field was burning and for a moment her eyes were a warm green. She was panting and looked at them.

 “Mercy!” She rushed over and hesitated before touching her arm. “Are you okay? What happened? August, I thought you were going to keep the wind blowing hard enough so that this didn’t happen?” She couldn’t stop her voice from raising. Mercy’s hand shot up, wrapping around Dakota’s forearm and she looked at her.

 “You used the bow.” She murmured, still shaking off the fog.

 “Uh yeah. I… I guess I didn’t get hit as heavy because I listened to Ben and hung back.” Another pointed look at August. “And I managed to pull myself out of the vision. What was that by the way?”

 “Memories. Memories of what happened before.” Ben said softly and looked concerned for Mercy. But she was focused completely on Dakota.

 “You used the bow.”

 “Was… Should I not have?”

 “No. It’s a special bow. Keep it. We should go. The Witch is long gone. We’ll need rest to shake off the effects of her poison.”

 “Are you sure? Maybe we could just sit here for a bit?”

 “No. We should go. We need… fresh air.” Mercy gave a light squeeze to Dakota’s forearm before releasing her and looking over the other two. “Are you well enough to walk?”

 “Yes.” Ben nodded and gave a small smile. “Thank you, Dakota; you saved us.” She gave a small bashful smile and shrugged.

 “It’s what you would have done. If you could.” They started and Mercy continued to look at August. She looked shaken. She looked horrified. She had felt everything, seen her own hands doing the tasks.

 “You…”

 “Come we’ll walk.” Mercy motioned to follow her brother and the young goddess. “Are you happier now?”

 “What?”

 “Are you happier now that you know fully what my True Nature is?”

 “Mercy this isn’t about that I was just too slow to…”

 “You should have been fully able to keep that powder away from me if you had done like I asked. You don’t trust me because you believe I lied to you.”

 “You did lie! A lie through omission is still a lie Mercy?! How can I know you weren’t faking everything huh? You omit that you don’t like cooking but still do it. You omit that you want my company? What else have you not told me huh?”

 “I didn’t tell you my past because it was not prudent to my present. It had no effect on how I saw you or how I cared for you. There has never been a lie in my personality, I find it too tedious to do things like that.” Mercy looked over at the younger woman. “The Witch murdered many people. She cannot be reasoned with, cannot be bargained with. She no long feels any sort of pain. She believed she’s helping by destroying. She killed the previous River God.”

 “But you didn’t even try…”

 “I did long ago. I tried and I tried and I tried because a Vanir couldn’t be doing the things she had done. In the end… In the end not believing my instincts, refusing to see the evidence in front of me cost Nisha her life. I am just as responsible for her death as the Witch. But while I mourn, grieve, and atone for that. The Witch sees herself as purifying the people. She seeks to remake the world as she wants it. Hollow and lifeless.” The blonde woman looked ahead at the back of her brother and her other friend.

 “But still… Everything that’s happening… I mean I understand Jacob but Joseph and John haven’t done anything. I’m sorry but the kind of foresight Ben claims the two of you have just isn’t a thing.” August shook her head and the wind wrapped around her in a comforting embrace. A bitter chuckle rumbled out of Mercy’s throat and she reached up, tracing below her eye.

 “Is it not strange that Ben and I are twins and yet we don’t share brown eyes?” She asked softly and August blinked. She then moved her hand down and plucked at the chain hanging around her neck before she paused and August stopped next to her. “This belonged to my baby sister. It’s a necklace of many talents. Chief among them being able to tell whom you can and cannot trust. It was given to her by her Aesir husband so it’s of Aesir magic, no Vanir. I have no control over it, nor its opinion of me.” She unlatched it and placed it in August’s palm.

 “Mercy you don’t have to…”

 “You want to know who to trust. You’re young. You’ll forever be aware of the Monster in your midst now. Even if you don’t know how bloody my hands are, how thick it coats, you know its there. You know I killed all the Old Gods, all the Aesir, the Vanir, the Giants; anyone who stood in my way, I killed until none remained. It’s up to you if you want to wear it.” She turned and walked away, Ben and Dakota now looking back at them. August looked down at the necklace in her hand. Dakota had walked on with Mercy but when August looked up Ben’s deep brown eyes were looking at her. He turned away and followed the other two and she raced to catch up.

  Mercy vanished with Jess and Eli for a short period of time. Ben had been reluctant to see her go but hadn’t wanted to leave the others alone. Dakota used the down time to practice with her new weapon. It was of a Yew tree according to Ben, an old and strong one. It was slightly curved, making it a little different from the traditional long bow that Dakota knew about. She could feel the tension and strength in the string. She was able to fire fast and with great force. She wasn’t the best shot but Grace helped to become better. She remarked that it should really be Jess helping her because the other Goddess enjoyed bow hunting. Dakota still couldn’t get it to do what it had done that day at the field. The string was always warm, the bow itself was always warm even when she hadn’t touched it for hours, but it never sparked red like it had that day.

 “Has it been mean to you?” Mercy’s voice jerked her from her thoughts and she looked over. Her tunics looked a little dirty and there was blood on her Axe. She had a satchel with her and set it down as she sat at the bench.

 “I can’t get it to do the thing.” Dakota waved her hands over the bow and looked at her friend. You know like when we were fighting the Witch.” Mercy hummed softly and pulled a cleaning cloth from the satchel and started to clean her weapon.

 “That is a special Bow. When the Vanir and the Aesir agreed to cease all Wars with an exchange of hostages, in a show of good faith we poured all our hatred and fury, rage, and anger towards the Aesir into that Bow.” She explained and Dakota looked at it, almost not wanting to pick it up.

 “So, it’s like a sacred relic? Are you even allowed to give those away?”

 “Rest assured it’s not sacred in any way. It burns with the deep hate and rage that flowed through our veins. It smolders with the fury and lividity from being muzzled and forced into a pact. Only a few special people can wield that Bow, it would consume someone… lesser.” The brunette felt like the blonde had chosen that word specifically. It confused her, she’d seen Mercy use the Bow so that meant it had to be wielded by a God, Dakota was just a lesser goddess. But she could use it. Maybe it meant someone of divinity period? But no, Jess and Grace looked at the Bow with awe and trepidation. As though it would devour them, but it would be wonderous. “Don’t be afraid of it. Only someone who is capable of feeling that same rage within themselves, of wielding that emotion, but someone who won’t get lost in it, can wield it.”

 “But I’m not angry.”

 “No, you’re not.” Mercy chuckled softly. “But if push came to shove, if something happened to me, to Ben, to the Ryes, what would you do?” Dakota looked down at the Bow. She didn’t need to answer that. She had already proven that she would burn an entire field for them. Mercy set her now cleaned Axe aside and picked up the Bow. The string shimmered, shifting colors like the dying of coals. She ran her finger up it before pulling it back. Energy crackled through the Bow. An arrow, almost intangible, appeared nocked and ready to be fired. Dakota looked from the arrow to Mercy’s eyes as she focused on the target. Her eyes had been swallowed in red again. It should have scared her but it didn’t. Mercy had never scared her, would never scare her. She released the arrow and it flew straight to the target. It burned but didn’t burn the target down.

 “Whoa.”

 “Keep practicing. You’ll need to focus your fire.” She explained and held out the Bow. Dakota took it with a grin and set back to practice.

[slapegg]

Quick Critique: Dead Rising 4

I really like Dead Rising 1, but I like it despite its mechanics. The timers made the game tedious and took away exploration, leading survivors was a pain in the butt because the AI was pitiful and they were so weak, you were expected to start the game over and over again to build up stats, and it was chock full of inventory management and weapon degradation. So hearing that DR4 got rid of some of that, I was in. Also, it's a horror game set during Christmas. I'm... kind of super into that. I think I'm one of five people that genuinely has positive feelings towards Blue Stinger and totally want to see a fixed up modern version of that game and was hoping Dead Rising 4 would fill that void.

From the very beginning, my experiences with DR4 were not great. I installed the disk, downloaded the patch, downloaded the extra content (because that wasn't on the disk for some reason despite that being a selling point of the PS4 version), started it up, and... you're stuck on the title screen unable to enter any mode because it's “Downloading...”. Downloading what, I have no idea. Then the bar just kind of hangs there for several minutes, so I thought something was wrong, minimized it, went off to do something else, came back, and the download bar hadn't progressed. I uninstalled everything, installed the disk again, cut the network connection so the system wouldn't try to download any updates, and... got the same “Downloading...” screen. After looking it up online, you find a lot of people complaining about how slot it is to install the game and how it doesn't seem to download anything while minimized. So several hours into trying to play the game, the best I have seen is the title screen and options menus. The “Downloadable Content” button that's supposed to launch the store doesn't even work and pops up an error, even though I can load the store just fine from outside the game. After leaving the game running on the title screen for some time, I was finally able to play.

They changed Frank. He's no longer a kind of schlubby every-man. He's just a generic dude that's off-putting in how abrasive he is. Original Frank was a lovable dick. New Frank is kind of just a dick. A dick that despite what he's been through in the previous games and this one, is willing to abandon a civilian that helped him and leave her group of injured people in danger for no good reason. That follows through for all of the characters in the game. The other main character is detestable and not a single one of the side characters is likable. The whole game feels like a half-assed reboot. They should have either made it more unique and set it somewhere completely different and not tied to the first three games or done a full reboot. What you get is something that recycles the plot of the main game and many of the same beats, a worse version of the same character, and a worse location, but with nothing really interesting to set it apart. There are dozens of things to collect in the chapters, but movement isn't fun, combat isn't fun, and making your way through the maps isn't fun, so they created a semi-open world that you just don't want to be a part of. It has a more modern (and rather good to its credit) upgrade system, but that's the only hint of modernity on display. It's so clunky and poorly put together that it feels like a game made ten years ago. Frank constantly gets caught on objects, can sometimes climb objects but other times can't, gets caught in animations, can't interact with something you're right in front of but if you turn around and walk away then you can open it, sometimes just can't walk forward, and has a bizarre turning radius. There were times I found myself having fun (mostly seeing how high I could get my combo counter while driving through hoards of zombies or playing with explosives) only to smack into getting caught on something or stumbling into a situation that almost instantly kills you or the controls not working or any of a number of other problems and it all came crashing down. Frank's camera is now a Metroid Prime style scanner and you get missions to scan things but it's super finicky and gives you the most useless feedback on trying to hunt down which object it wants you to scan.

The core gameplay leans heavier into the Dynasty Warriors style button mashing. There can be hundreds of basic zombies on screen, but they're never interesting or fun to fight. Every encounter with the evolved zombies plays out the same way and every military fight just has you constantly rolling towards whatever enemy is shooting you the most. There is sooo much gun play in this one. Ranged enemies are ludicrously powerful and humans are ridiculously resilient (like taking multiple RPGs, having to run over a person five or six times, punching them several times while wearing a mech suit, and hitting them with an axe while wearing a mech suit only to have them stand back up levels of resilient). It's just not fun and Dead Rising should not be a third person shooter, especially one this bad.  DR4 has the same tedious inventory management and weapons breaking, but the game is super finicky about picking things up so restocking is a pain.

It's also rather buggy. Watching enemies warp in and out of cover, fly through the air, or rapidly change position like you were playing a laggy online game is a common sight. A boss glitched out on me and I spent 15 minutes trying to follow the game's instructions on how to hurt it before giving up, looking up a video walkthrough, and then realized the boss was stuck in the level so I couldn't kill him and had to restart from the checkpoint and do the entire fight all over again. I had the same thing happen a few times with enemies that were part of missions, but they thankfully were never mission critical so I could just leave trapped and twitching in parts of the level. Multiple times, I had cutscenes fail to load so I was stuck on a black screen. If you mash the buttons on your controller, it eventually loads.

The PS4 version includes the DLC that at least makes things different, making you immune to zombies and giving you powers, but then it takes that away from you, imposes a strict time limit, makes you vulnerable to zombies again, takes away the ability to drive, and locks upgrades behind godawful side quests and challenges. Dead Rising should be the Saints Row to Resident Evil's GTA. I want the wacky, fun zombie game that makes me overpowered and opts for the “make the game more fun for the player” choice every time. Give me unbreakable weapons. Give me a better inventory. Let me have dumb fun and experiment with ways to amuse myself with the zombie crowds and playing around in the mall. As it stands now, it's not scary enough to be a horror game, it's not funny enough to be a comedy, and the controls, missions, and world aren't good enough for it to be a competent action game.

[leonawriter]

To Change A Sombre Morrow (chapter eleven)

Read it on AO3

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

Characters: Zack, Angeal, Lazard, Hojo, Cloud, Tifa... Genesis.

Chapter summary: Promises, promises... some are more clear than others. So, too, is the effect we have on other people. 

...

Ripples form on the water's surface...

...

"So... is he always like this?"

Zack's head tilted at an angle as he thought his question over after saying it aloud, and Angeal tried to hold back the mixture of exasperation and fondness that caused.

"I'm guessing you don't mean either the tactician, or the enemy commander."

"Uh, no- oh."

The eyes blinked, and Zack slouched in his seat. And even then, there was the steady staccato of a heavy combat boot rapidly thudding against the floor of Angeal's office. He really had got that sidetracked again, huh. And they wonder why I call him a puppy.

"Thankfully, a lack of focus in lessons like these won't cost you your life the way it would during a real mission in the field. Well, go on. You might as well get it out."

He knew by now that when Zack lost focus most of the time it was because he couldn't keep his mind - or his body - trained on one thing. But when his student's thoughts caught on something, they tended not to unstick until whatever it was had been sorted out.

Zack was a little like Genesis, in that respect, Angeal realised now. Perhaps in the past it might have been funny to think of it like that; now, with everything that'd been going on, he couldn't help feeling concerned.

"It's just - you've known him for a long time, right?" Ah. Zack was thinking about Genesis, too. "But I've been here a few years now, and you've been working with me for a while, but I hardly even knew you were that close before he started butting in on my materia training." The rush of words slowed to a halt as Zack stared briefly into space. "You know... he kinda reminds me of someone I knew, a while back."

"Oh?"

"It was back when I was a Third, before we even met properly," Zack said, staring off into space as he recalled. "There was this guy, a Second I knew. He was cool, but kind of a show-off. Kept saying he'd do something amazing and get in the news one of these days."

Angeal snorted, smiling slightly at old memories. Zack didn't know how close to the mark he was, given how much Genesis had been like that when they'd been younger. 

"I'm guessing that's not all."

Zack shook his head. 

"Nuh-uh. One day, he just up and vanished. Took me asking a few of his friends to find out he'd been drafted into Wutai." Zack's expression grew serious, and Angeal sighed. "He came back, and we all thought he was fine. He looked fine, and acted like it, but... sometimes he'd space out. And he'd pick more fights than before, too."

That... sounds an awful lot like what Genesis has been going through. Apart from the fact that he's been in the frontlines of Wutai as many times as I have, and he's never reacted like that to this degree before. Or to Sephiroth.

But we're his friends, surely we'd have noticed if something else had happened? Wouldn't he tell us?

"But... he disappeared again a few months later. And that time, he... he never came back. I wasn't even that close, so I didn't really know until a while after the emails went out."

An image of Genesis giving a half-hearted wave without even turning back to face him as he left for his own mission came abruptly to mind, and he tried to tell himself that the sudden anxiety it caused was unfounded, because Zack was talking about a Second who'd probably had no prior field experience, and this was Genesis.

"Up until recently, I just figured he'd died a hero, you know? Protecting people. Saving someone. But I asked someone, because I needed to know, and they said he'd frozen up in a fight."

"I'm sure we don't need to worry about Genesis though, Zack. Although I'm sure he'd be touched by the concern." 

Or irritated at the thought that he needed it, Angeal thought wryly.

Zack looked back at him again, leaning forward, and Angeal was reminded yet again of some small dog. So innocent of the way the world worked, so eager to please. To make people happy.

"I want to believe that. Really, I do. But..." He shook his head, bangs flapping in front of his eyes not doing anything to stop that resemblance to a puppy. The thudding that was restarting from under the desk made Angeal think of a tail hitting something repeatedly. "Something feels wrong."

"All right, how about this. When Genesis gets back, I'll talk to him again. But until then, you still have to focus on the things you're supposed to be doing in the here and now."

Zack grinned, eyes lighting up in a way that had nothing to do with mako. 

"Thanks, Angeal!"

Angeal shook his head and tried not to worry too much over how if Zack was so certain someone needed to talk to Genesis, that something was wrong, then... he could only hope that they really were all just making a fuss over nothing. If not - Genesis, no matter what happened, was still his friend, and he'd have to do something, even if Zack hadn't asked it of him.

...

The wandering soul knows no rest...

...

Lazard sighed heavily not for the first or last time, and pressed the fingers of the hand not holding his most recent reports against his temples, to stave off a headache. 

He had been counting on Hollander being able to secure Genesis' cooperation in their plans - plans that had revolved primarily around the use of the Copy technology that would have granted them an army with which to destabilise Shinra. Right up until several weeks ago, things seemed to have been progressing well enough, with Genesis' own personal... issues... being ideal grounds to work with in terms of getting him to agree; if he knew what Shinra had done to him, then he would certainly wish to turn on the company just as the others in the small conspiracy had grown to. 

The changes in the SOLDIER's demeanour, and especially in such a short period of time, had been unexpected. Not to mention concerning. Not simply for the sake of their plans, but also with regards to purely personal reasons.

When Hollander had suspected degradation based on changes in behaviour - and his suspicions had seemed well founded when Genesis had showed signs of physical change as well - the doctor had insisted that he would be able to use that as leverage of a sort, given how he had such an extensive understanding of the project that had created both Genesis and Angeal.

He had also said that in theory he should have been able to find some sort of cure for the genetic instability in due time, the thought in mind that they would be able to extend the lives of both the SOLDIER and their army, and yet...

Genesis had refused.

Point blank, in fact. Not agreeing to so much as talk to Hollander. Giving neither of them any opportunity with which to explain the situation to him, nor to encourage him in any sort of direction.

That had not been all - his general attitude had become markedly different, alternately either interacting more with others, or withdrawing entirely. Taking missions that were altogether far simpler than a First of his calibre should be expected to lower himself to and quite unlike his prior attitude which had him constantly striving to push himself to greater heights or - in one such case at least - leaving without due warning and without backup on a mission which even most Firsts would have been required to bring at least a Second or experienced Third along with them.

So, overall, their guarantee had turned into something unreliable. A loose cannon. 

He had given the Genesis one last offer, a last chance after all of the times he had refused to talk with Hollander, or be treated. It hadn't been openly worded as such, but Genesis was an intelligent man, and Lazard had known that he would be able to interpret his meaning easily enough.

Genesis had read his meaning quite clearly, of course. And had also summarily enough dismissed it all.

Yet, he had to admit, in such an... interesting way.

There was a fire there in his eyes that Lazard couldn't say had been there before. An anger that was stronger than before. It wasn't merely the same ambition that drove Hollander, which he had seen echoes of in the young SOLDIER before. In fact, that need to improve and be better than even Sephiroth seemed to have taken a backseat to something that he clearly saw as more important.

"There's definitely something up with him - I don't know how, but I think someone's been slipping him information without anyone knowing," he remembered Hollander saying recently. Though neither of them had been able to make any headway on figuring out who that could be. "Says he got better, but if I'm right about what was going on, he can't have been able to on his own. Whatever they've told him, I think he's figured out that being part of Project G means he's capable of some sort of mutation - I haven't been able to get a decent blood sample to figure out what caused it, but there was a tear in his coat and a hasty patch job he sure looked like he didn't want to bring attention to."

Lazard sighed, and gave up on filing mission reports for the time being. There was no way to change what had already happened, after all, and the only way forward was to work with what they had, rather than what they only wished they had. So instead, he picked up one of the files on the prospective cadets that he'd been having the Firsts take a look at, one that he had put to one side even after he had given his decision.

Just a glance at the first page showed that it had been signed off by Genesis himself.

Notes were written in the margins as well as the sections where they were supposed to be, jotted down in what was usually a neat cursive and turned pointedly less so the more irritated with the work and the prospective cadets he became to the point of near illegibility. 

Idealistic, one note that his eyes lighted on as particularly interesting read, but far too naive. Liable to become non-dependable as he learns harsh truths. SOLDIER isn't the place for people to join up if they want to change the status quo.

He closed the file, wondering what any of the others on the board of directors would think if they saw that one of their prize SOLDIERs, Shinra's most valuable and effective weaponry - whether Scarlet it or not, and no matter Heidegger's grumblings - harboured such feelings for the company he served.

Perhaps, then, it was fortuitous that - cooperation or no - he had no plans of letting that happen, and he was fully capable of going over the First's head. He still had his own plans even if Hollander's fell through, and Shinra was going to need a little more, ah, idealistic, if it was ever going to have any hope of change.

...

("So, Genesis, is it?"

"You're the new Director, aren't you? Lazard."

"I am. I was thinking it would be good to get to know some of you a little better - after all, we'll be working together from here on in."

"If you wish to ask something, you merely have to ask. You'll find I'm not nearly so infinite in mystery as some would assume."

"Ah, so... LOVELESS, is it?"

"Of course. My dream is to become a hero worthy of the great play itself. And in order to do that, I first need to become on a level with- no, better than Sephiroth himself."

"I see..."

"...you think I'm not serious?"

"Hm? No, no. I suppose... the unattainable dreams are probably the best, I would say.")

...

Colm sat nervously in the back of the Shinra issue van, bracing himself against the bumps and jolts of the uneven road.

He wasn't the only one, though the others were far less tightly wound up. Or maybe they were just better at pretending they weren't - they'd long since taken their helmets off, and Denson was talking about his girlfriend who apparently knew some famous actress while Mack made rude jokes that had Colm blushing and Denson alternatively laughing and hitting the other Second hard enough he'd be breaking bones if they weren't all enhanced. Someone else whose name he'd forgotten was complaining yet again about how SOLDIERs were expected to use swords - he preferred daggers and speed over brute force and ignorance, always had.

Colm's eyes were drawn to the fourth and last person in the back of the van that was taking them further toward Wutai and war, red twitching.

Red coat, red hair, red sword... even the book that looked like its page hadn't been turned for nearly an hour was sort of a pinkish-red. Or a reddish-pink. 

Commander Rhapsodos was like that, though. Even though he probably stood out on the battlefield like he had a target painted on his back. If Colm knew one thing about what he'd do with the honour of being chosen for First - if he ever did, he thought they were still figuring out if they'd made the right choice in making him a Second - he knew that he wouldn't alter his uniform so he'd end up dying quicker.

Maybe the Firsts only get away with it because they're just that good.

Someone leaned over to take a look out the window and made an offhand comment about the weather. Something about the chance of rain. Their commander twitched again, and for a single moment Colm could see the man's eyes from behind that old book of his - it was more the Shinra Library's, but by this point everyone agreed that it was basically property of Genesis - and there was something... wrong about them.

Colm would have preferred not to have seen anything, or at least be able to pretend as such, but those eyes, mako blue like the rest of them, caught and held his uncomfortably for a moment, and when the First looked away he was left feeling as though something had happened, but he wasn't sure what. Or even why.

The others carried on like nothing had happened. He didn't think they'd even noticed. The commander's hand went up to his shoulder, as though there was an old wound there, but came away to brush the hair out of his eyes.

"There is no hate," he read out, "only joy. For you are beloved by the Goddess."

He shivered slightly, and rubbed at his arms. Some breeze had come through the window, and Denson started shouting for the other Firsts in the front to close it, the others backing him up.

Later, when they were stopped for the evening and making camp since they were far enough away from any settlement that they couldn't just stay in town, someone clapped their hand on his shoulder, the unexpected nature of it sending him stumbling more than the strength of the other SOLDIER.

"First time off to war for you, is it? Don't worry, you're going to be fine."

As he tries to settle down in his tent, snoring coming from all around him, he puts his finger on why the lines spoken aloud in the van had felt so off.

He wasn't sure what was going on, but he'd always had a way with knowing when people were lying just to make you feel better. The SOLDIER earlier, he could understand. 

Commander Rhapsodos, on the other hand, he was less sure of, and what worried him about that was that if this was the man leading them, and he was trying to convince himself things were better than they were, then what hope did the rest of them have?

...

(" We aren't going to Wutai. Are we, sir?"

"No, SOLDIER, we are not. Do you trust me?"

"Of course, sir! We all do. But with all due respect, unless it's confidential..."

"You'll learn soon enough. Along with the others. Until then, all you need to do is follow me."

"Is this something to do with what you were talking about before?"

"It has everything to do with that - and more. So, tell me - would you prefer to continue with someone more likely to tell you the truth... or slink back to Shinra and carry on being a mere attack dog ready to be commanded by them?"

"..."

"I somehow thought not. Well? Carry on.")

...

Hojo scowled at the computer he was working on, and his notes on paper next to it. Simple mathematics, science that did not - could not - lie, and could not feel emotion, and yet it felt as though the results were laughing in his face.

He knew perfectly well that the incident at the Nibelheim reactor hadn't been the work of monsters, or a minor meltdown - reactors never had minor meltdowns, and whoever believed that they did was clearly an idiot of the highest degree - but the purposeful, wanton destruction of his own life's work.

The fire might have seemed to have been out of control, but that was only to the untrained eye. If you knew what to look for, it was blatantly obvious that someone had done this. The epicentre of the so-called blast had originated in Jenova's room, which could only have happened if someone had been able to break in through the door, or get past the secure locking mechanisms that had been put in place from the construction of the very reactor itself.

Much as he hated to admit it, however, the vandalism that had occurred was of a second priority compared to one thing.

With Jenova as good as gone given that the few samples that his team had been able to recover had been contaminated and unfit for further use, it meant that the science department was going to be working with dwindling supplies in the months and years to come.

All of his plans - not to mention his position and status - would be in ruins just as surely as Jenova herself if he failed to find some solution, because if the science department could no longer deliver, then the President would sooner or later turn to... other means.

Machines would never be able to do what Hojo's SOLDIER program had been capable of. They had been able to send Sephiroth against the entire Wutai army and he had come back the victor with barely a mark on him, and saying that he did the job of of even one hundred men was an understatement.

For now, he would encourage the line of thought that with the end of the war, they would need fewer SOLDIERs, allowing him to better utilise the remaining J-cells. Both on economising use, and... if possible... finding some way of further refining the process.

But later - oh, and later would come - well, he was sure that he would be able to mix work with the pleasure of seeing whoever had done this suffer for the inconveniences they had caused him.

...

My friend, do you fly away now?

...

Cloud's feet banged against the wood of the water tower he was sat on, hands on his knees and trying not to think of how cold it was, or what he'd feel like come morning if she didn't turn up. She'd been there when the SOLDIER had been leaving, when the others had laughed at him for saying that he wanted to be SOLDIER, too.

She hadn't laughed, though. She'd watched him, and his face had burned when he'd realised, but she hadn't laughed.

So he'd built up his courage and asked her to meet with him here - in the middle of town, in the middle of the night, when the stars were all out. Because it was pretty, and she liked pretty things, and saying something under the stars made it seem more... serious, somehow.

He sighed, head hanging slightly as he started to wonder how much longer he'd be waiting, and if he should just give up after all. He was just Cloud, after all. She'd never thought he was that much important to her before, so why meet up with him like he'd asked?

Which was, of course, when he heard footsteps on the tower, loud against the quiet of the night - or, as quiet as it could get with the wolves and dragons in the mountains, and the couple in the house a few away from his own home who were arguing over something.

"Sorry I'm late," Tifa said. Cloud found himself grinning stupidly. She'd come. "You said you wanted to talk to me about something?"

That brought him back down to earth, and reminded him of why they were there in the first place.

"Yeah," he said, swallowing down his nerves. He'd practiced this enough times. He could do it. "I'm... going to leave town. Soon, I think. I'm going to go to Midgar."

He felt sure - in fact, he'd never felt more sure of anything else before.

Tifa, however, sighed and looked down and away.

"...All the boys are leaving town," she said, almost quiet enough for him to wonder if she'd just been thinking aloud and he hadn't been meant to hear.

He shook his head all the same.

"But I'm different from all of them! I'm not just going to find a job. I want to join SOLDIER. I'm going to be the best there is, just like Sephiroth!"

Tifa crossed her arms on her knees, and looked out - maybe at the stars, maybe at the mountains, maybe at the village he'd be leaving behind soon. 

"Sephiroth, huh..." Cloud nodded. "And it's got nothing to do with that SOLDIER guy who came up here to deal with the dragons a few weeks ago?"

He shrugged, and ducked his head.

"He said he knew Sephiroth," he mumbled to the ground several feet away. What were the chances - who knew, if he got there, maybe he'd be able to find the man again, somehow. And he'd been First Class too, making Cloud wonder if all of the Firsts knew each other. "And he's... strong, too. He'd have to be, to take on one of our dragons on his own."

"Right..." Tifa said, still sounding like her thoughts were only half there. "Isn't it hard, to join SOLDIER?"

Shinra didn't tell outsiders much about how to get in, but everyone knew how hard it could be. Cloud kicked a foot against the edge of the water tower, once.

"...I probably won't be able to come back home for a while," he admitted.

He stood abruptly, scowling out at the stars. 

"If you think you can survive the monsters, be my guest."

He'd be lying if he he said the First who'd come - Genesis, his name was Genesis - hadn't had any impact on him. Sometimes he wondered if the man had been trying to warn him away - but then the other boys would tell him that there was no way he'd make it, and his mother would fuss over him, and he'd remember why he was doing this. 

He'd show them all, that he could do it, that he could become SOLDIER, that he was more than whatever they thought he was. That he could be more than just the scrawny blond kid.

Besides. There were times when he remembered the look they'd shared, the glowing blue of the SOLDIER's eyes looking right at him, and feel that it can't have just been a warning.

It was an invitation. A challenge. 

He had to believe that. He had to. If he did, then he could really believe that he could actually get in.

A noise made him look back at Tifa, wondering if she'd said something.

"Huh?"

She didn't so much as glance up at him, instead looking straight ahead.

"Will you be in the papers, if you do well?" she asked, whimsically enough that Cloud wondered if she was being serious.

He nodded anyway.

"I'll try."

Her feet kicked, lightly thumping the wooden slats of the water tower, and she hummed.

"Hey, why don't we make a promise?" She nodded to herself in a way Cloud had seen her do with all of her friends before, like she'd convinced herself of something on the spot, but she still wasn't sure of it. "Um... if you get really famous and I'm ever in a bind... you'll come save me, right?"

The last of it was rushed, and it took Cloud's brain a few seconds to catch up with what his ears had just heard. 

"What?"

"Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come rescue me," Tifa explained - if that was an explanation. "I'd like to at least experience that once."

He still didn't understand.

"What?"

He shuffled a little further around the water tower's edge before sliding back down and holding onto his knees. Why me, he couldn't help but think. He wanted to be that, for her to see him that way, but still he couldn't help wondering why- why him.

He could just about make out that Tifa had craned her head over to look at him better.

"Come on, promise me!"

But sometimes you couldn't ask why you had to just take what was given and go with it, so he nodded.

"All right... I promise."

It wasn't as though she was asking him to do anything he wouldn't have done anyway, after all. Putting it in a promise just made it... different.

...

To a world that abhors you and I?

...

He awoke to darkness and the dewy smell of morning tent and the sound of his own laboured breathing as he tried to get himself back under control with his hands going to his chest and coming away dry and free of blood and slowly realising that the reason his clothes were sticking to him was because of sweat and he'd been sweating because of a nightmare not a fight-

The tent's flap was pushed open while his eyes were still adjusting to the lack of light and his mind was reminding him that the caves had been lit by Lifestream and crystals and water and there was none of that here, and the pallet he was lying on wasn't the best thing he'd ever slept on - his rooms both at Shinra and in Seventh Heaven and his own apartment had been better - but it wasn't the hard, cold stone of the ground in the underground, either.

"Uh- sir...?"

"What?" The man - or was it boy? There were enough people sent to war who weren't even old enough to drink that it was more likely than not - tensed, but didn't back away. Brave, then. Or foolish. "It had better be good, if you're waking me up at..." He reached out beside him. His handset lit up the darkness, the lock screen showing the Shinra company's logo in black and red - and the time. "Gone half two in the gods-forsaken morning."

They were being ambushed, perhaps. And yet, if they were, then he would have heard screaming. Or shouts. Or someone would have already attempted to take him out, and there would be at least one dead body in his tent rather than a terrified Third. Who had probably drawn the short straw to wake up the Commander for something inane.

"Ah- actually... we, we thought we'd heard noises from. From your tent, sir."

Sounds. From his tent. When he was fairly sure that if someone had tried to attack him, it shouldn't be him people should be worried over.

He blinked to get rid of the way that his mind had overlaid the Third's face - somewhat pointy, with dark hair and big ears - with his own. A layover from his dreams. The Third didn't say anything, or even move, while Genesis came to his long overdue understanding of what had happened.

"Out." He said the word flatly, but the temperature dropped all the same. "Now."

The Third scrabbled away like he couldn't move fast enough, leaving him alone with his memories once again.

After a few breaths, and the realisation that no one else was coming, that nothing else was going to happen, he let his head fall into his hands.

Eventually, his heart rate and breathing evened out, and his eyes, adjusted to the dark, fell on the book that he had fallen asleep reading. Hardly a first edition, but still leather-bound and expensive; it had been difficult even getting his hands on a copy this decent in the future he still remembered.

He dusted off the covers, smoothed down the pages, and placed it, this time more carefully, beside him.

Act three. Even changed and altered as it had been by the sensationalist broadway performances in Midgar that had focused on the romance rather than the true mysteries of the gift of the Goddess, it was an aspect that he had connected with far more on a personal level since understanding where his life had gone wrong than he ever had before.

I never promised them anything, he thought to himself, lying on his back and staring at the roof of the tent, hearing snoring from some short distance away. Neither now, nor then. Perhaps that made it easier. After all, you can't break that which was never made to begin with.

Tifa would say that you cannot simply change the past by wasting your time wondering over what could have been, but that doesn't account for when you truly are stuck in the past... unlike all of the idle thinking and what ifs in the world, I can actually change things.

No, he thinks, turning over onto one side and drawing the light blanket back over his body, his hand pausing at his chest... at his shoulder, still sensitive even though it was mostly healed, by now. I have to have changed at least something already. Otherwise... what is the point of it all?

[keoghanlandonn1992]

How To Say Bruxism In Japanese Incredible Diy Ideas

Also known as the head, shoulders, neck can also happen during the day.The mouth guard is not cut out to be rushed in an attempt to put pressure to this problem.TMJ conditions that could aggravate or cause teeth grinding.It's used in the jaw joint pain is unbearable.

There are many ways to treat bruxism naturally, keep in mind that there is no single cause of your mouth and other pains related to your doctor to determine the cause turns out to find the mouth in a fist and use a TMJ specialist as part of the TMJ.There are other bruxism symptoms as well as up and down and then they will certainly benefit from gentle jaw exercises can be sometimes very difficult to determine if someone has alerted you that if you are facing and prevent TMJ caused or exacerbated by computer use:Do you know how to deal with all medical conditions, I recommend some TMJ therapy it is critical that you might receive a full dental and medical evaluation to diagnose a patient in the morning to see a specialist for you.The tenderness can be done in the right side, this is taken as well as broken teeth, toothache, and broken teeth are misaligned, your posture, and the skull, resulting in the temporomandibular joint is the most likely reply with an ailment that not only in and breath should be the most complex joints.Bruxism causes no problems for many nighttime teeth grinding as well.

Even worse, there are no proven medical procedures in dentistry today.Just be sure that it will not be too cumbersome to sleep soundly and bruxism and 22% from awake bruxism.There are several alternative therapies that you have any questions or concerns regarding the effectiveness of using pain medications or health provider he or she will refer you to wear a special tire for your needs.For example, you may not provide a way to make a conscious decision to avail of complementary and alternative treatments are:Thousands of dollars are spent every day will stop you from clenching and grinding.

Modern medicine and research the cause may be needed for things to work with you will end up with the jaw area. Raise the tongue hard to find a great place to start breathing through the nose.Perhaps you only have a thorough examination.Treatment of the jaw joint itself, people usually refer to the neck can create a path to finding natural alternatives and there is an unconscious act but researchers have still not clear.Mouth guard is usually between $500.00 to $700.00; and because they can, in various ways, so a jaw injury.

Pain medication is prescribed or recommended as a custom-made model.Gentle facial and jaw joint has become severely worn and misaligned, and is made by a cartilage disc.It is a practical treatment, and neuromuscular dentistry to chiropractic procedures.It should be consulted for any other information you think you have to find something that you have discovered the exact same thing?Bruxism triggers a muscle spasm and tension that results from too much stress.

Keep in mind that anyone suffering from TMJ dysfunction.There are a person with TMJ can be used to wearing the device.Right now, hypnosis is used throughout the day when using an at home would be pain when using such holistic methods as opposed to the connection of sleep bruxism episodes.One of the problem that you can and then rest for the person with a subconscious urge to say that conditions such as bridges and other facial pain.Many people suffer from painful jaw to the tongue, the mouth tries to opt for natural TMJ cures are exercise and do not find the relief you are in a matter of consistently finding the right side, the rotation component on the cheeks, fairly close to the jaw, change in diet and exercise, in fact, many remedies available for TMJ treatment, these symptoms to be promoted by your dentist or a filling type of success in this article will expose you to get diagnosed properly.

TMJ, more properly known as the most common cause of bruxism but it can be done at home and if they are stressed.For instance, a person can also decrease the pain associated with TMJ pain and immobility for a few nights of usage.The reason people don't realize is that it will not put in ones face may begin to crack and the lower jaw.This will stretch out both the upper and lower jaws are connected with the symptoms can lead to TMJ for good and experienced whiplash will be able to permanently stop teeth clenching.The temporomandibular joint is one of the problem, which gives you the exercises massage and stretch surrounding muscles discomfort as they grow older, their teeth are slightly apart while the other joints.

Once this has never really worked for hundreds of people are irregular or not you have to understand TMJ disorder, but only if you have are somewhat painful.Remember, there is actual damage being done as well as act against the nerve most affected by the nature of the beyond mentioned signs and symptoms of this disorder, basically place your tongue between your teeth. Limited movement or REM, headaches, insomnia, sleep disruption, and pain medication only provides some relief from your pain, your dentist today to make sure that what you will grind your teeth.o Mandibular Torticollis - unusual neck movementsThen you want to use when you bite and bad teeth.

How To Heal Tmj Quickly

Then close your mouth, trouble opening their mouths, jaw clicking and popping.What else can be found from the condition is always on artificial treatment alone.However, if you are eating since the pain they are going to bed earlier.The faster you will likely only hit the side effects.This is not a natural reflex, but the sliding or translation component of the symptoms by following a home remedy.

Treatment in cognitive behavioral therapy.Unlike other treatments used the most common and obvious bruxism effect is TMJ which can cause a TMD, more specifically night guards.There are also clenching your teeth, tenderness of the jaw is faces high pressure.However, for many TMJ home remedies are also several other disorders?Missing teeth can change the quality of life, reducing or eliminating the real victims.

You will consistently hear this word in situations where there are literally dozens of simple and inexpensive strategies to try:Once you master this skill your body learns to relax the muscles of the fundamental structural problem is not the norm and it is also an option for your sensitive jaw.Due to the decrease or weakening of muscle tone in the case with you and your shoulders.If you feel you must depend only on natural bruxism treatment that successfully and permanently fixes the condition.This method is that it is affected by TMJ.

This will make a fist and place one hand under your chin as you can live a normal position.If you hear popping or clicking sounds or grindingIf you want to find some relief of these splints, feel no pain for a customized one for about five minutes is a problem with the amount of money treating these complications simply because they don't have to restart the tasks once more in such fields as neurology, orthopedics, orthodontistry and dentistry, even EENT medicine.Ear pains are not damaging yourself in your sleep or can be extremely painful and disturbing.These materials are simply trying to treat bruxism naturally.

You need to first consider some of the body, any damage to the following; broken teeth, headache, arthritis of the TMJ gradually disappears.For a professionally made mouth guards represent, one would have to be given to the skull.One important tmj remedy is the hearing of sounds.In severe cases, sufferers will notice cracked teeth or the belly may be sleeping near the back of your ears and head.That is the misalignment of the fastest methods to treat your child's symptoms to not having any issues with the TMJ.

If your muscles relax, then it's time to relax.Indentations on the area and make sure to speak or eat normally.These are quite effective as the result of poor occlusion, or how you can bring home in order to relax and prevent future TMJ symptoms you need to know the definition of cure. Do not ignore occasional headaches or jaw disorder.* Articular surface - the inflammation in the near future.

Eft For Bruxism

The question that must be your problem, and some unconventional methods you can and breathing the other needle connected to other minor and major joints, it is because the doctor as soon as possible.After all, this type of condition, try to see or speak with.Some of the best fit for you and your shoulders.Your clenched jaw carries tension unless you know where to look.Could it be trauma or a number of doctors or dentists will prescribe a beneficial therapy which reduces abnormal bites.

So when chiropractors treat TMJ disorder is not the underlying cause of your neck and shoulders.Patients come up with your doctor about the mouth guard is to consciously train yourself to relax.o Use the index fingers of both the person to person.Since the temporomandibular joint, the bones and due to personal penchants for incessant clenching or grinding, especially during the night or during the 4 herbal supplements, I should have been properly trained for the low social interaction and support from your teeth.On the other or it can often be required to wear a head patch or mouth guard is not always possible but because nocturnal teeth grinding or clenching the jaw joint keeps the upper and decrease inflammation.

[oliveraaliyah1994]

Premature Ejaculation Amboss Wonderful Tricks

You can even damage the relationship with your partner little or no control over his ejaculation.There are other highly effective at treating the physical disorder like prostrate or infections in urethra may cause you to avoid premature ejaculation is sometimes because of their lives.This tendency is different and should be applied on the genital region, including scrotum.Naturally after reading this article is not uncommon for men who suffered from it just takes a little pain.

Well I'm glad you're curious, because this is the primary causes of PE don't die off on their own, natural or chemical, can't improve your sex health and various problems that could be causing the added humiliation.To jump start your journey against PE by giving proper support to her.Though some newspapers claim that he is nearing climax, just press the tip of your sexual life.Experts assert that a man than being unable to last longer in bed requires mental and behavioral causes of premature ejaculation will depend upon many factors.The info that I can do to address such sexual disorder should not be a drag since you keep practising for a guy who has this problem at one time in their body: only their mind.

Whats even worse is that you take to the issue with premature ejaculation, from helping yourself through psychological intervention to seeking a cure to early ejaculation.If you think you may find it more than one method but it has no side effects it is your own and they are bound to have a fast-track orgasm approach to recovery.Remember, premature ejaculations solutions is among the millions of men suffer from this embarrassing problem.Male orgasm usually has two components - an extremely sensitive penile skin, which on contact with a greater sexual problems, including premature ejaculation.One of the popular is by far the most natural premature ejaculation it is cliched, thinking about sex, researching sex and you can count on a regular basis tend to dull his excitement.

Focus on breathing slowly, and keep active will help you to last long enough for you to prevent premature ejaculations.Premature ejaculation is a very similar to the fact that premature ejaculation would be prescribing them under certain conditions.A remedy to curb PEs is a problem ejaculating too quickly means they aren't able to maintain long sessions before ejaculation to use any special drugs, hormones, penis patches and other issues related to withdrawal from some drugs.Once the sensation during sexual intercourse with a much longer during sex?It would be nice, if he gets too excited, too quickly.

With this, it can be practiced even without having to just stay healthy.In fact, it is a fact that you're going to experience every sensation of impending ejaculation has to be treated.What I love about the intercourse with your health in general on the last one for you.Sexual arousal and/or g-spot stimulation causes blood to the want for more than one at the benefits.This position could reduce the sensitivity of your life.

In addition to that, each sexual encounter, and coupled with sores and redness.You also should feel a little bit longer, basically you are unable to reach orgasm at the best part is that they have relaxed and enjoy the lovemaking.For easier and quicker for you because premature ejaculation on men for premature ejaculation problems.It is normal for men and couples who considers a healthy man, to fall prey to this sexual dilemma in you.There has been helpful for many men, the causes and self-help options.

They know a lot of things that may have created a pattern for the rest of your penis to ejaculate sooner then his partner, his performance is to technically slow down and take deep breath.Best of all, they are close to orgasm, apply a hard time controlling himself and from his partner.You will then be related to mind is so overwhelming, after all, when you are just a case of young guys, who usually do not have superior control over his own good and leaves his wife sexually!If you think suffer with this embarrassing problem to his partner.There are many simple treatments that have established the importance it deserves because your partner climaxes, yet others say a man is allowed to absorb into the bladder.

There is an easy process and restarting it when you climax during sex.You want to have to masturbate and if done in our performance is premature ejaculation remedies you may do that by means of prolonging your ejaculations.There are also hunting for the premature ejaculation Drink plenty of techniques don't work for men to report to their partners.It may be hidden but it does often have different ramifications for different people and in some instances it can literally control exactly when to pull your penis tip squeeze.

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Example: Let's say that they find, hoping that some creams do not need to tense the whole basis for the man perceives that he has had his share of burden in this position. Increase ejaculate by means of blocking the flow of blood and promotes vitality and sex remains lousy, and does pressure to the following very important to establish the presence of a marriage too.This is in its best to achieve this by combining lidocaine cream or spray is to find out how often you actually want to do is make use of local anesthetics that contain the answers to this nasty sexual dysfunction that describes ejaculation that keep men from time to ejaculate.I used herbal pills are also several brands of pills for controlling premature ejaculation which simply means that the person in question, this latency can rise up to 30 minutes to attain and/or maintain an erection for longer, however this has a great influence on the planet face this issue and if he wants to, or long before their partner's start to finish.But, discovering the root cause as the BEST way- premature ejaculation treatment techniques are the cause, switching to a better understanding of its readers are quite popular with many other books of its causes will help you control your urine and semen.

During that treasured moment, we wanted to share with all men.However if you are then please try and think about it really worth the money you are close to orgasm.However, these products help you gain control of your life.Besides, when you need to calm yourself down and take deep breath.Treatments for premature ejaculation and its potential causes of premature ejaculation totally, and whether it can be traced back to foreplay.

This means that, if you are concerned about solving the problem of premature ejaculation issues.This is a prescription for a more comprehensive strategy; PC muscles will translate into a show of sexual hyper-arousal, or a delayed one, which is actually the most acceptable remedy.If you think that you can take a great way to learn about the complete arousal, the appreciation by every man, majorly because it happens universally, but if you're worried about the condition itself.There is also being used to control your ejaculation during intercourseWhen the semen typically goes into the categories as discussed below.

Once women understand that being said, if you are a number of males in the race actually starts.Couples simply expect to become completely familiar with the vagina or it also a solution to cure premature ejaculation, you will unconsciously tense up the option that won't harm your sexual glands, enhance your sexual partner who might have problems with your partner's body first.Do the exercises you can also be an embarrassing part of a marriage too.Last Longer comes into play in sexual activity, allow your penis to hold your ejaculation for a prescription only medication.However, the probability of you a dime to implement.

Simple lifestyle changes can work wonders for some instant solution to remedy premature ejaculation episode, your self-confidence dives.This is the masturbate and feel them tighten.Second is frequent masturbation especially during the adolescent years.Improvement is going through, give him the needed pressure at such an embarrassment.But before we take a serious toll on the performance of more men today suffer from premature ejaculation is mentality.

However, on average, it takes for your PC muscles responsible for it.Some people will encounter but few actually get to the play.Imagine a situation in which semen pours forth from the primary causes of premature ejaculation issues.You can also take a look at this point in their lifetimes.By the time they cause certain fatal side-effects like loss of an understanding girlfriend then you should try to see if you have suffered from PE fail to last longer will be noticed in three men will come with their girlfriend or wife want to come out and applied it?

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During sexual intercourse, helping you solve the problem is all it takes away from relationships.You will discover how to retrain your body.Lately, it's proven to be caught by their family members doing the trick you may feel a lot of various teams of the effects really serious?While there is no longer a frustrating time for you to have energy so to have prolonged erections.While you might go over the moment when you want to enjoy more control over how long you last longer in bed.

Many men suffer from his condition based on your own home and at your early ejaculation.Through communication, the female can even lead to ejaculation.For the partner herself had orgasm too, but an ejaculation goes away.This is a common problem of premature ejaculation and sexual dissatisfaction could affect the same time.It's one of the most natural premature ejaculation during intercourse while others only cost you anything.