#so many justifications for why the bees are Like That and not one of them can escape the black hole of mkeks bad writing

[loudclan-clangen]

Fish in a birdcage for Rosehip amd Dodwood tho

YES

Bee is not one of the rogues himself, but two of his sons are! Also one of Butterfly's sons, and two of Coal's sons that he had after Fiercestripe left. They aren't really important to the story so they don't get names or anything, but I think that it makes everything a little bit more tragic that Fierce is fighting her nephews who she would have loved to watch grow up and might recognize her from when they were young.

2. Kingfur and Sockeyepelt would both be pretty devastated if Chumtail dies, she's similar to Dashpaw in that she's kinda the mediator between her two more polarized siblings. Really everyone who's up on the chopping block is the most stable of their family, meaning everyone is going to be very NORMAL after this, I'm sure. Also thank you!

3. Yes! There will be stickers of the mediator kids (especially now that you've asked). I'm drawing sketches based on what people have requested, and I'll make a post letting everyone know when they go up. Currently I have Weed, Siltsplash, the Mediator Kids, and some couple stickers in the works.

There were many factors in Fiercestripe's decision. 1. Thorn was 4 moons old by the time Fiercestripe left, so she was well past carrying size (especially with Fiercestripe being a small cat). Even if Wildfirecry could carry her, or she walked on her own, it would slow their pace significantly and require them to take more breaks, leading to the farm cats likely catching them. 2. If Fiercestripe had taken Thorn then the farm cats would have more justification to track them down and forcefully bring them back. It's one thing for a she-cat to leave, it's another for a she-cat to take her mate's kit with her. (part of why the farm cats have made it to loudclan now is because they're chasing a pregnant she-cat). 3. Wildfirecry hadn't agreed for Fiercestripe to come with him. He was a stranger who had stayed a couple nights with the farm cats and was just as likely to turn her away or harm her as he was to allow her to come with him. He would have been a lot less likely to agree to travel with her if she came with the responsibility of a kitten. 4. Wildfirecry and Fiercestripe did not have an easy journey. They didn't have a destination or a set path, they just wandered from place to place for years until they were convinced to join Loudclan. It's pretty likely that had Thorn been brought with them she would have frozen, starved, drowned or been eaten by a predator given that Wildfirecry was the only one with any hunting or fighting skill, and kittens aren't as tough as grown cats. All in all, bringing Thorn along wasn't really an option. Fiercestripe's only choices were leave Thorn or stay with the farm cats and hope that another outsider came along later when Thorn was grown. (Thorn's story is a bit different, Frost and Spider were outsiders who joined the farm cats later in life, so Frost knew how to hunt and fight, thus allowing them to wait for their kits to grow before they left.)

I designed them on my own! I find pretend genetics very fun and it gives me a chance to think more in depth about the rough backstories I have for these characters and how their childhood would have affected the way that we see them act in the story.

[constantvariations]

Sorry to continue beating this dead horse, but it still baffles me that people are praising the bees as quality romance when they became canon confirmed queer only when they became an item

You wanna see how easy it is to confirm someone's interest in ladies? This is a conversation between sisters I wrote for my fanfic last night:

“Pay her no mind, Timber,” Nadia says, plopping on the mattress and sinking right in. “I’m pretty sure she’s married to those shoes.”

Danai rolls her eyes. “I’m married to my job, not my shoes.”

“How ‘bout a woman instead? Then you’d get fucked good instead of fucked over.”

One sentence. That's all it took to let the audience know that Danai likes women

And this is a side OC that's going to get written out of the plot in the next chapter or so. She didn't need to be sapphic when the fic is focused on the m/m main pair. Hell, this wasn't even planned, but there she is! Gay as fuck in an apocalypse! And she didn't even need to suck face to confirm it!

So if the bees were planned from the beginning, why did we have to wait 10 years for non-subtextual sapphic confirmation between half our main cast when I did it for a side character in 10 seconds?

[diamondbreakingboi]

Loving your BreakBee fic! It's such a good story, I adore how you've written the characters so far. The terrans teasing Bee about being attracted to Breakdown is so good. Having Optimus in Bee's audial about Breakdown is sad though... but it's an excellent plot device, it makes sense that Poptimus prime isn't vibing with Bee going after such a bad boy... I can't blame him given that Bd kinda gives fuckboy who can't commit energy. And without getting nsft, the little bit where Bee is teasing and tells Breakdown "nope" while shaking his head is sooo good. It's just such a cute visual despite the not so innocent nature of the situation. I've been reading the fic on repeat, it's such so sweet and sad. I'm very excited for any future updates!! 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you so much!!!!! ❤❤❤

I’m ecstatic you’re loving the story so far!! It truly means a lot! I adore writing them!!

Oh yes, poor Bee being influenced by Popitmus Prime in what he’s doing with his life…that certainly might veryyyy well be a theme ;) You spotted a wild plot device! I was afraid no one would notice that little thread throughout! And YES Popitmus HATESSSS Breakdown, both for good reason and for his own selfish justifications. ((I will henceforth refer to Optimus Prime as Poptimus Prime from now on because that is toooo good))

“Bad Boy” certainly does encapsulate what Breakdown presents himself as XD And YES he’s giving biiiiiiig ‘f boy who can’t commit’ energy!! He does act that way on purpose, but I don’t want to give anything away as to why…just know there is more to Breakdown than we can see!

I’ve said this so many times before, but for it being my first time writing smut, I’m quite surprised by the love it’s been getting, truly! I was just messing around and letting their dynamics play out, and wooooooah boy it was quite fun!! Hopefully I can be motivated to write some more in the future, however it all depends on what the story and characters want! :) Bee and Breakdown teasing each other in equal yet different manners is my Roman Empire…I can’t stop thinking about them. I love putting in little moments that are endearing and cute especially when the situation wouldn’t necessarily call for it :D 

Thank you again for telling what you like about the story! I wanna cry happy tears when I get comments like this. I'm so honored that people are enjoying it so much!!! It means the world to me. And you’ve read it multiple times?? I’m doubly honored!! I hope you end up liking how the story goes! I love sharing it!!

[phoenix-fell]

Well, I’m immensely disappointed that the SDC was taken down the way it was,

Weiss don’t have to find some way to work around the system, or better yet ohelp Faunus workers dismantle that system and get rid of Jacques,

Jacques just worked for Salem having Weiss a convened excuse to arrest him, then Salem just destroyed all of atlas and almost definitely the SDC as well

The kingdom and company responsible for adam’s brand and the deaths of Ilia’s parents are both gone thanks entirely to Salem,

I’m also actually not looking forward to Ghirardelli show up because I just do not like the guy

I already did,ike that he’s far too passive compared to someone like sienna who was out there kicking ass and robing the SDC

But it’s specifically his words in the Adam trailer that make me think he’s a horrible fit

When adam kills that human who tried to kill ghirah, ghirah says “this is why they think they can-“ before getting cut off by sienna

ghirah, the humans ALREADY tried to kill you simply for existing in their general vicinity! Adam killing this guy in self defense does not in any way “justify” their bigotry,

And if they use it as a justification for their bigotry? That is THEIR fault, not Adam’s, and of course it ignores the fact they where already trying to kill him without any justification whatsoever!

Adam turned out to be a complete bastard but in this scene? Ghirah is in the fucking wrong

And yet the show just………ignores this? It treats it like we’re supposed to be happy he’s in charge again, and everybody so executed to see the bees meet the parents despite this whole fuckinf mess attached to him!

Hell at the beginning of volume 6 we learned being the “good minority” and stopping Adam made the humans like Faunus more apparently

Which reinforces the incredibly harmful ideas of respectability politics, the idea that if oppressed groups simp,y “behave” or “act right”their oppressors will reward them by treating them right, something thats entirely untrue, and ghirah as far as we’ve been shown seems to buy into that whole idea,

Even tho marrow’s entire arc is living proof of how it doesn’t work

And then there’s Ilia, working for Adam was wrong and I’m glad she broke free, but as far as I can tell she’s just following ghira’s lead instead now,

Land all of this just makes it harder for me to like Blake overall, because like it,or not she’s deeply connected to that whole plotline and as far as we’ve been shown, isn’t all that different from ghira, she’s broken the law sure but only for the sake of stopping Salem

We haven’t seen her doing anything like sienna did on robbing the SDC,

Many argue it’s because the show doesn’t have time to do a plot,one of Blake going up against the SDC and they’re probably right,

But what now? Is she gonna fight the atlas refugees in vacuo? When ghira’s militia aready holds more power then them?

Okay, quite a lot to unpack here lol. I think I'll probs start by saying, I'm probably not in a place to comment on the socio-political issues around race when it comes to the WF subplot, I've seen a lot of different takes on it and while I can say with certainty that it never really sat right with me, the best I can do is listen to the voices who are personally affected.

In terms of the SDC, I don't think we've seen the last of it - Whitley took over and while Atlas has fallen, they likely had mines and outlets across Remnant so it'll be interesting to see what happens when they get back to Vacuo.

I genuinely think that as far as Blake's activism is involved - so far there just hasn't been space for it recently, like rn they're in a different world, prior to that they were fighting against a tyrant, and they have a bit of a time crunch against Salem. That's not to say I don't think it'll come back, I think the fact that the idea of being a bridge between humans and faunus was brought up against her younger self, I can see the fact that Blake is now in a relationship with a human and on a team/best friends with Weiss Schnee, being important in building that bridge and repairing the damage SDC and the segregation has done. Whether we'll see it anytime soon is another question. Guess we'll see how Volume 10 goes, huh?

Lastly, I can see some of your points against Ghira - namely, not fighting back when the humans weren't letting up. I think that the humans in that instance left him with no choice but to defend himself, but I think his preferred method would have been to disarm them rather than kill them. I do think Ghira's approach might be a little different going forward but I think the main thing to remember is that while Sienna was more effective in making some progress and Adam ruled with violence and killing while Ghira was initially very passive, Sienna was in a grey area, and Adam was... well, extremist. The WF's original purpose was to achieve equality between the species, but fear and submission isn't the same as equity. It'll be interesting to see if he can strike up a more collaborative approach with the humans.

Personally, I think that the new WF and uniting humans and faunus against Salem might actually end up being key in the 'big fight' if the two brothers get called upon. I hope that this includes Blake and Yang at the helm of a new WF or something too, it'll be nice to see Blake step into that leadership role.

[deadliestpieceontheboard]

Is Andrew Misogynistic? How so?

FYI: this is the second time I'm writing all this because Tumblr just. unpromptedly deleted the whole thing just when I was done, so if there's anything weird I apologize, and feel free to ask about it.

This started out as a reblog from @stuck-in-between-two-worlds that got too big and I decided it deserved it's own post, so I hope it helps :)

First of all we need to lay out that it is very clear that Nora didn't always have the vocabulary to explain the things she wanted to say. Think about Neil's sexuality, or Andrew's mental state. She knew how they worked, but not the proper names to things.

So when she stated that Andrew was misogynistic (on an ask about Neil's mom and through Renee's pov on son nefes), did she mean it as in "Think Women Are Lesser and #GenderRoles"? Very likely not.

This is what causes a lot of backlash, because today this is the definition we have for misogyny, and it really doesn't make sense for the character. But it's important to remember that the series came out almost 10 years ago, and much of it (including son nefes) was drafted even longer before that. Social issues were not talked about the same way as today, so it was very plausible then, if you didn't have the right information, to call a character that holds a prejudice against women, even if it's not based on a patriarchal view, misogynistic.

And Andrew DOES have issues with women, like it or not:

1- He had 12 therapists before Bee, many of whom straight up said they would never let him work with women again [x]

2 - This exchange with Renee

3 - His deal with Aaron was specifically about women hurting him. That's why Andrew's reaction to Allison was way stronger than to Matt, even when what she did was considerably milder. This extended to the point that "not letting a girl hurt him" meant not letting them get close to his brother at all.

These are the unquestionable examples, but some people could take how he treats Katelyn, the way he is agressive to Abby at the motel, or the justification for taking Dan to Eden's as signs of it as well, but that's more open to interpretation.

So what can we take from this? Purely from what was given in canon or word of god, that Andrew is weary and distrustful of women, but that it really is a PREjudice and he's capable of looking past it in Bee and Renee when they prove it to him that "they're not like other girls", so to say. This is a completely valid textual analysis, and, from what little she said, Nora's intention when writing the character. You can dislike it, hc it differently, but not deny that it isn't there.

Now, his reasoning for these beliefs is something we do not have explained anywhere, so while I (or anyone) can guess at it, this is where we enter personal interpretation / meta / headcanon territory, and you can choose to completely disregard my take.

If you ask me, I see it as a personal bias formed from his trauma. (which doesn't excuse his actions in any way btw).

Between Cas, Tilda, and what we can assume are many foster homes, Andrew sees women as a threat he can't predict. Men hurt him explicitly and outwardly, they hit him and slip in his bedroom, and these are all very palpable dangers. Women were the ones that abandoned him, turned a blind eye, neglected behind smiles. How do you protect yourself against that besides being careful? It's not something you fight with your fists. (honestly i can expand on that but this post is long as it is and idk if anyone is really interested)

So, TLDR: Is Andrew misogynistic? By the understanding we have of the word today, no. But I don't think it's fair to ignore all this facet of the character just because the author used the wrong word to define it, right?

Don't you think his flaws make it all much more interesting?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

batmanisagatewaydrug's semi-facetious leo season gift-giving guide to treat yourself and others

hi gang, I'm just gonna say this: I don't believe in astrology, but every August I lean into, like, the MOST annoying Leo stereotypes and buy myself just a LOAD of shit, because I'm great and it's my birth month and I deserve it. to be clear I would be doing this regardless of when my birthday is, but as it happens all of my astrology bitch friends get to feel real smug 31 days a year after I've spent 11 months snorting at their assertion that space rocks and gas clouds have any bearing on their mental health and personality disorders.

ANYWAY.

when I was younger I tended to feel a bit guilty about my little birthday treats (and most other spending that was just for me), but I've mercifully grown past that shit now. one, "guilty pleasure" is a flawed concept. I'm not catholic, I don't have to feel guilty about shit. two, I have the money to do this. I'm fine. and three, best of all, all of my gifts-to-self came from smaller artists and creators, and I could NEVER feel guilty about supporting talented craftspeople just trying to make a living peddling their wares on the internet.

anyway, in the interest of further support I thought I'd compile a list of all the weird shit I've been treating myself to under the justification of my birthday and link to all the cool cool people who made this stuff. in all sincerity, they're making me very happy and I hope they make you happy too.

anyway, now that I've done the "annoying housewife prose at the start of a recipe blog" portion, let's get to the shit.

#1. Charming Little Fox

I was lured in by the honeycomb jewelry, because my wife LOVES bees and bee-themed accessories (thank god she's not on tumblr anymore, because MAJOR gift-giving spoilers), but ended up falling in love with all the unique earrings. I ended up getting this asymmetrical sun/moon pair, which makes me feel unspeakably cool every time I wear them.

#2. Skeletons in the Closet

okay, listen - my big splurge was on some of the handmade masks (filters included), namely one of these fringed baddies that's going to make me look like Orville Peck. but you've GOT to look at the clothes for sale on this site, which are some of the most gorgeous high drama gay goth shit I've ever seen in my life. velvet, fringe, and fishnet ABOUNDS.

#3. Jenny Shlemon

I'm kind of obsessed with this whole shop, which makes a lot of profane glittery iridescent resin jewelry that's EXACTLY my kind of tacky. my friend AJ got me one of their keychains for my birthday, which is shaped like a star, full of glitter, and has beads that lovingly spell out the word CUNT inside. that little gift came with a ten percent off on my next purchase. I went with these cool hoop-and-snake earrings, but I was sorely tempted by the ones that proudly proclaimed I PUT A WHOLE BAG OF JELLYBEANS UP MY ASS.

#4. Maya Kern

okay, listen. Maya Kern sure as shit doesn't need my help to sell size-inclusive, deep-pocketed skirts, which seem to instantly sell out every time a fresh batch is listed. which is why I was SO excited to snag one of these cuties covered in hands! I'm genuinely really excited to get this skirt and happy to support an independent queer artist, but this one IS also just sort of a flex that I get to wear one of these wonders on my body.

#5. Janatee Craftily

full disclosure that this is the shop of a dear, dear friend of mine, but what the fuck is the point of having a tumblr blog with followers if not to hype up your homies? this beloved chum is the master of many art forms, from crochet to jewelry to stickers to dice. this month I've been particularly hyped to receive a set of miniature rainbow dice, a glitter rainbow necklace, and a crocket halter top that are all Janatee Craftily specials.

#6. VestalKi

... aka tumblr user @kialessa. this cute little crochet water bottle holder isn't even here yet, but I'm already hype as hell to receive it. I go for a LOT of lengthy walks (probably like 3-5 a week, because pokemon go is serious fucking business) and it's hot as hell here. but I hate having to carry a water bottle around with my hands like some kind of medieval peasant (because, again, those pokemon are NOT going to catch themselves) so this is really going to revolutionize my entire life. PLUS Mack has informed me it can comfortably pull double duty as a purse??? my god, this is the gift that just keeps giving.

#7. Super Yaki

this is a movie with cute weird movie merch for cute weird movie fans, but what if, like me, you're a wretched bog hag who's never willingly engaged with pop culture in their life? well, good news: now there's Super Yaki merch for us, too! and if you happen to be a fan of Dimension 20, like me, even better news: it was designed by Kendra Wells, the artist behind the character art for The Unsleeping City! if you're not a fan of Dimension 20, just disregard that last part and look at this cool shirt.

credit for me owning this one actually goes to Rachel @dykerory, who insisted on buying it for me mere moments after I sent them this image and asked if I should buy it for myself. thanks, beloved bestie brainworm <3

#8. GreenTree Factory

one of the only other entries on this list that I didn't encounter through the internet! I met these shop owners at a local farmer's market, and was delighted by their drinks-themed candles and whimsical little soaps - so delighted that I immediately had to buy a matching lime margarita candle/soap set. the scents are phenomenal, the craftsmanship delightful, and products are extremely long-lasting. look at this - this sparks joy in my heart literally every time I light it.

#9. The Euphoric TreeFort

I met these guys at a con where I was volunteering, and it took all my willpower not to drop over 100 dollars on candles right then and there. they have some of the most unique and VIVID scents that I've ever encountered in my life, some of which frankly seem like an affront to God and science. I don't know how they managed to so perfectly capture the scent of cheese pizza in a candle, and I have no idea who would want to burn it, but I do have to admit it's very impressive. more palatable options include their orange soda scent, which I frequently just carry around my house, unlit, sniffing it and marveling at how exactly like orange soda is smells.

#10. The Bail Project

swerve - you thought this was going to be all about materialism and buying things, didn't you? it mostly is, but one of the most rewarding things I've thrown my money at in a long time is Lil Nas X's bail fund. you can make a one-time donation or do what I did, and set a small recurring donation to be charged every month. I was mostly joking when I called this a gift-giving guide, but any donation to the Bail Project could literally change the course of someone's life, and there's no better gift than that.

[static-void]

I feel like I'm qualified to do this. Given that HK is without a doubt one of my favorite games and I love the OST.

It's long because I try to give my reasonings behind each song (although sometimes I'm just taking a shot in the dark-I haven't watched all the POVs). Additionally, some characters have multiple songs. A couple of them only have one.

There are mild spoilers, mostly in the names of the songs, so if you're worried about Hollow Knight spoilers then I'd be aware of that. Aside from that, go ahead & knock yourself out.

Bdubs: I am sorely, sorely tempted to say Greenpath. But it works better for someone else, and also it doesn't work that well for Bdubs. I will say that the Queen's Gardens Action theme works well because of the tension in it. Just the action theme-the calm version has the same sort of vibe that makes the Greenpath theme not work too well. Nosk is a second, I think. Good tension. Though I think the Nosk soundtrack fits the concept of the Boogeyman in general pretty well, it works very well for Bdubs as the boogeyman.

BigB: This could be wildly off-base because I don't have a solid Grip on his personality yet but. the dream world theme (just called Dream in the OST) fits him. In my brain. Maybe also Hive Knight. He seems pretty upbeat and friendly most of the time.

Etho: Because of his whole thing in one of the sessions where he went around pretending to be the boogeyman, I think he gets Broken Vessel. The theme itself is frantic in a consistent way, which seems to match what he was doing. In my opinion. I did consider giving Etho the Nosk theme but it fit Bdubs more. The Nosk theme is less planned chaos, more pure chaos.

Grian: I really wanna go with a Grimm Troupe soundtrack. I really do. However, he's not red right now so as good as it may be I'll refrain. I have no basis for this, but I'm leaning towards the Shade Theme.

Impulse: Hm. Maybe Fungal Wastes? It's a fairly chill soundtrack. He's hard to assign for. I mean this in the nicest way possible but he seems like a Very Normal Person. Fungal Wastes has a very normal feeling to it.

Jimmy Solidarity: Just putting Jimmy felt weird. Anyways. He's another one hard to give a song for. I'm thinking of going with False Knight? Yeah False Knight is probably okay.

Joel Smallishbeans: Again. Just Putting Joel Felt Weird. Kingdom's Edge. It's a lonely sort of theme. Also The Collector's theme. It's a distorted version of the normal battle theme.

Lizzie: Queen's Gardens and Greenpath (along with the Greenpath Action theme). First off, because of the Plants, second off, because both themes have chiming notes that kinda remind me of fairies a bit. They sound nice. Bonus because it's a damn good track: Lace (Silksong).

Martyn: Haunted Foes could work. I haven't been watching his episodes, but I know I've heard discussions about the voice or w/e he has going on.

Mumbo: Dung Defender (I Know.) and the Crossroads theme probably? Specifically the Crossroads Action theme. Do I have any justification for this? No. Am I putting it anyways? Yes. (Also Bonebottom, from the Silksong OST)

Pearl: Hornet. I think Hornet's theme fits for Pearl. Also I just saw she has bees in her icon, so she also gets the Hive (Ambience). Yes it's ambience, but there's some Notes.

Ren: Ren is a solid amount of the reason behind this list. There's so many knight themes in hollow knight. Might go with Mantis Lords. They aren't knights, but the soundtrack fits in my opinion. (Bonus: for The Red King: Nightmare King. if Anyone gets NKG's theme it's Red King.)

Scar: Crystal Peak. Crystal Peak. And while it isn't recognized as a song in the OST, Brumm's accordion song. It matches him I think.

Scott: Someone needs to get Truth, Beauty, and Hatred. I guess it can be Scott. Why? Personally, I just like the theme. He can also have Resting Grounds. As a treat. Also because if I just give him Zote's theme I'll feel bad.

Skizz: Oh Boy. Furious Gods, maybe? I don't know a whole lot about Skizz.

Tango: Dream Battle. It Just Fits In My Brain.

ZombieCleo: Cleo is the other solid amount of why this list exists. Soul Sanctum (the entire thing. I think the shift from the normal to the tense versions works really well) and also Radiance. Radiance because it sounds angry.

[bixqueen]

so thanks to hboMAX my pretty little liars obsession has started up again and when i watched pll the first time all the way thru (yes sadly it’s been more than once i have a life but also don’t) my favorite character was alison. as i’ve watched it more it changed (emily or spencer is prob my fav now) but going through tumblr, instagram, and even pinterest, i feel alison gets too much shit/hate from the fandom. so here i am, making a justification for her. if you really don’t want to see my side or pov then just keep scrolling because i don’t really want to see negativity in the comments (unless you’ll actually say something, a rebuttal?)

so let’s start off with alison being a small child and her household/family. we know how her parents would manipulate her and tell her lying is better than telling the truth. she’s had these really bad influences on her at such a young age (with secrets overflowing her house) and when you continue to have these influences on you as you’re mind is maturing, of course you’re going to eventually go through with them. now yes i know the other girls also had lying parents but were any of them as bad as alisons? i mean some things spencer’s parents kept and arias but they were also older at that point (middle of high school and up). i’m not saying it’s okay but they knew at that point in their life what’s wrong and right and for the most part they had been raised to not lie. alison wasn’t. eventually her lies caught up to her as well so even though she learned the hard way to tell the truth, she eventually did.

now we’re getting into the high school stage where there were MANY points as to why she would’ve ran away. if the writers wanted a better redemption arc for her i feel they would’ve shown her a little more broken in some scenes and such but anyways. freshman year isn’t absolute hell but it’s not fun either. having the mindset of making sure you’re not the one who will get hurt obviously forces you to have this wall and makes you a lot more mean than you really are. (i really feel this was a wasted potential by the writers not going more in depth about her mental pain but shit they didn’t do it with anyone tbh). her whole life kinda had build ups to her being so secretive and closed away (again if the writers went into more depth on this we would’ve seen maybe some trauma that causes her to be closed off and push everyone away. not wanting to show weaknesses) from everyone so it definitely wasn’t hard for her to find that bitchier side and let it off on everyone, not that it’s right, it just made her feel safe and protected. a main factor of this was probably being closeted. i myself am a bisexual girl so i know how it feels to question yourself the way she most likely did. it’s scary. really fucking scary. because you don’t know if there’s something wrong with you at first or if it’s just a stage and you’ll most likely pass it. it’s why i believe her relationship with emily was why she had no big deal leaving rosewood. yes we know she was being tormented by A before the girls were and she wanted to leave so she could be safe. but even with that there would need to be some other factors that kicked in to her actually leaving. A in the beginning for JUST alison was kinda like a bully right? i mean a little more extreme than that but it wasn’t as bad as it was when it started hitting with the other 4 girls. so if alison THE alison dilaurentis was being bullied by someone too scared to show who they really are, wouldn’t she just laugh some of it off? alison WANTED to leave before mona gave her the option. she was scared. and not just of A, but of who she was. and who she loves.

if we’re looking at what alison does for emily versus the other girls while they’re being tormented by A, you can tell she cares for her more. she saved emily more than anyone else. she said leaving emily was the hardest part of it all. because alison was in love with emily, just like emily was in love with her back. obviously running away and faking your death isn’t the best option for having internal panics, some people just don’t know how to manage it. especially being the bold person everyone sees and talks about. imagine seeing her walk out of some therapy session teary-eyed. she’d feel so weak in that moment, so vulnerable. isn’t that one of her biggest fears? people seeing she’s not as strong as she comes off to be and they can use that against her. her fear for being vulnerable also brings me to her being SO scared coming back to school after faking her death. ali, the queen bee, is terrified. this kinda brings to me childhood pain (personally this is why i thought of it lol rip). maybe her family thought showing emotions was weakness you know? and when you open up they kinda laugh at you and they’re like “you think you’re life is hard?? you’re a kid.” (i’m sure i’m not the only person who’s heard this mf bullshit bedore). where i’m going with that though, is it could’ve been placed in her head at a very young age (also this is so dehumanizing and traumatic damn but it makes sense) that you have to shut out all feelings and emotions. it really makes people numb and being emotionally numb as a child and teen is dangerous for brain growth and development. makes sense why it took her forever to feel safe and okay opening up to emily about her feelings and showing emotions around the girls. when you’re seen as this “bitch” who doesn’t make down from a fight, it forces you to turn emotionless.

so the way she acted out the night she went missing and her freshman year wasn’t ideal and it really wasn’t okay. but the audience never saw what she was going through mentally, hell even after that. we see it a little when she comes back and talks about the night she went missing. imagine your own mother burrying you alive. god the trauma that must STILL have on her. being under pounds of dirts, unable to move or talk. your own mother doing this to you to save someone else. i’m not trying to put it as she’s only been through things and no one else has cus of course that’s not the case. i just think people often dismiss her pain and trauma and just say “she’s a bad person and deserves the shit she’s been through.”

i’d also like to add her type of crowd she was around wasn’t the best sort of people. imagining being a freshman and hanging out with college kids who would throw some girl down a flight of stairs. i feel like that also had an impact on her mental health and what she believed was okay to an extent because i mean verbally bullying isn’t okay but at least sis never pushed someone down the stairs 😭 (worst thing she did is definitely blinding jenna. i really don’t know how to defend her actions for that one. you could say she didn’t know anyone was in there? or that she didn’t know she had- it was a firework right?)

last point i can think of: paige vs alison. of course i have to add this lol but my main point with this is both girls were mean to each other. did alison start it by calling her names and such? most definitely. do i think paige should’ve retaliated? to an extent. but she went as far as teaming up with others to have alison go to jail for a crime she didn’t commit. their revival wasn’t just one sided and again i think people often forget that. they’re continuously like going against each other at every chance they got. it was funny but also got annoying. ali would shit talk to paiges face then paige would go whine and cry about it to emily to turn emily on her side. i mean did we forget paige manipulated emily against alison? (yes ik alison was the manipulation queen when she was younger). really what i’m going with this is that they’re more alike than they’ll admit to an extent. me personally, i like alison and emison more. i never really liked paily but paige grew less annoying in later seasons. but when comparing them, i believe paige had more damage on emily than alison did. even when alison was ‘dead’ she still saved emily’s life at times (including the other 3 girls) and did things to protect them. i don’t remember paige saving emily just trying drowning her because she was a little jealous. another thing i know someone will try to bring up about them is how “alison was never happy for emily” well shit bro neither was paige 😭 i’m on season 7 right now and there were some times paige took a liking into stalking emily while she was dating that girl who worked in the cafe (sorry i can’t remember her name rn). and when emily talked about being with that girl she was kinda like 😐 k. alison is the type to speak or show her mind while paige seems to keep to herself then shit talk others behind their back. both qualities aren’t exactly the best so both ‘sides’ can go against each other for years on this. they’re just more alike than people realize.

anyways, there’s that. if you have any opinions (WHERE YOU’LL ACTUALLY ARGUE SOMETHING AND NOT JUST SHIT TALK ME!!) feel free to leave a reply. and if i left out something you want me to add in i will :) have a good day <3

[chicoriii]

Season 4, Episode 13 - Optigami

I was hoping it might be my favourite S4 episode till now, but it can't be, since I absolutely hate how they are writing "Alya knows" plot arc.

What writers are doing with it is ridiculous. They make Marinette more stupid and irresponsible than ever before to make Alya shine (although she is doing dumb things as well, so I'm not sure I can say she is shining, she is rather also a victim of writing). She is not respect the rules, she has not enough humility (knowing Ladybug's identity and everything about Guardian is not enough, she also wants getting Miraculous permanently), she makes careless things. And what? She is rewarded for it. Do you remember previous seasons? When Marinette did something stupid, Tikki said it out loud. What's happening in season 4? Nothing. No matter what, Tikki and other Kwamis tell nothing. And some of them has been portrayed as wise or careful before (like Wayzz or Sass). I don't see it this season. Now when Tikki questioning reckless Marinette decisions is the most needed, she does nothing. And what's with Su-Huan? What is he doing? Is he one episode character only? Maybe he should start monitoring how's doing the new Guardian? Because it seems that she's is not doing well with her duties.

@bookdragonlibrary has told me that Marinette being incompetent as the Guardian in Mr. Pigeon 72 makes sense, because she was in a big stress. It could be a good argument if Marinette was as much incompetent as Ladybug as well. But being in stress hasn't affected her in the akumas battles at all. And since Optigami is 13rd episode, "Marinette is completely new as the Guardian" can't be justification of her mindless actions anymore. They just downgraded Marinette's intelligence and wisdom of some of the Kwamis as well.

This is why I think that the whole "Alya knows" story arc is absurd and inconsistent with the previous seasons. Do you want more examples? Thanks @bookdragonlibrary for reminding me that in Gang of Secrets Ladybug told to Alya that she has no permission to reveal that she's the Guardian now on Ladyblog. And what's Alya doing in the next episode? She's revealing that Ladybug is the Guardian in front of Mr. Ramier and giving some informations that are supposed to be "top secret" stuff to him. Marinette, or other characters, didn't react to it at all. If Mr. Ramier likes to gossip, he could easily spread the news to the whole Paris. It shows that Alya and Marinette don't think about possibility of the consequences of their actions at all. Alya is also supposed to be a great journalist in the future, how am I going to believe in it, if she's doing those many things mindlessly?

I know that made Gabriel and Nathalie are going to pay more attention to Alya and thanks to it they could discover Ladybug's identity. Actually now, that should be extremely easy to start suspect Marinette (since that's not a secret and she's Alya's best friend) and start tracking her. And it should happen immediately, in the next episode. But I'm sure the writers are not going to make him minimal smart. I think it will take him many episodes, and even if, it will happen at the end of the season. Still it's not a reason to make the characters dumb and reckless.

I would like to see Gabriel and Nathalie knowing Ladybug identity before Marinette knows identities of the villains, it would be very interesting. But I don't think it's going to happen in the way the end of Optigami foreshadows. In my opinion, even if Gabriel starts tracking Marinette, she will discover that in some way before it's too late, and she will mislead him. Just like Gabriel has done it in Collector or Adrien in Gorizilla. It's too fast. Most probably Shadow Moth is going to be defeated at the end of season 5, so I can't see that he's learning Ladybug's identity in season 4. Also I can't believe that there are going to be real and very big consequences for Marinette and Alya. The danger will rather be only temporary, at the end it will be said like telling Alya about absolutely everything was a very good idea from the start. Maybe they have done some a bit questioning things, but nothing really bad.

Is there something I liked in this episode? Yes, of course, though stupid actions of Alya and Marinette made it harder to enjoy it. That's great they tried to make villains more smart and we've seen they are doing something more than just sending akumas and amoks after random civilians. They have some more deliberate plans. There was plenty of action and it was more interesting than in most other this season's episodes (basically, I think that akuma battles in other episodes than Truth, Furious Fu and maybe Guiltrip are rather boring).

Also I like how the Lucky Charm was utilized, not to beat the akuma/sentimonster like always, but to discover the plan of Shadow Moth and Nathalie.

And the design of ladybug and bee fusion is great. Marinette's superhero suits are always so good and this one is one of my favourites. I like her hairstyle the most. I think Ladybee design is even better than Queen Bee or Vesperia's (although there's nothing bad in them as well).

I expected this episode to focus more on Marinette and Adrien as civilians. Remember, I haven't watched the trailer(s) and I was trying to avoid spoilers as much as I could. I'm barely active on Tumblr and Instagram since that one week marathon of the new episodes has started (because I'm afraid of spoilers), but unfortunately, I forgot I should be careful with YouTube as well, so thumbnails and titles of the videos spoilered me the ladybug and bee Miraculous fusion and end card, so I knew it's actually Alya-centric episode again. But maybe it's actually a good thing, thanks to it, I'm not as much disappointed as I could be otherwise.

I absolutely didn't want them to reveal their identities now, like they teased us. I'm not crazy about getting The Reveal ™ as fast as possible, I actually think that doing it too early would not be good. The Love Square is a great and unique concept, so there's no reason to kill it too early. I fully accepted the idea of secret identities from the start. This is why the idea of of Marinette telling someone wasn't overly exciting to me, I could see it for Alix, as only it made sense to me at this point of the story. I could accept it, if it was done right, but it's done very bad.

But seeing early synopsis of this episode, I expected that we should get some Adrienette development. Optigami is episode 13, it's really in time to do this! I was hopping that we should see Marinette being more and more comfortable around Adrien which would lead to the reveal in the season finale. Because I think the main characters should build a very strong bond as both civilians and superheroes before it happens (another reason why I would not like to see the reveal in season 2 or 3). Marinette should be ready to confess (but that doesn't mean she would do it then) and get to know who Adrien really is well, before she discovers that her crush is also her partner who she has been rejecting many times before. It doesn't look like it's happening now. So if nothing changes soon, it could mean that the reveal between Marinette and Adrien will happen rather in season 5.

Also Alya now is getting more screentime and more action than Adrien. Rena Rouge transformation sequence has been seen in three episodes, Chat Noir's in only once and there's no Cataclyms full animation at all (I'm curious about arrangement of its theme). Adrien is reduced to nearly a background character in many of the episodes this season, it's noticeable more than before to me, and I feel it is so unfair. But even now, Alya is still mostly portrayed as the best friend of the protagonist than a character on her own. I would like to see more her doing something which has nothing to do with Marinette and Ladybug. It could make her really shine, now I see her mostly as a character who is doing very reckless things without thinking about the consequences.

-----------------------

The lesson I just learned is that I can't get excited about any upcoming season 4 episodes, no matter how much interesting its synopsis sounds. I should be rather careful about every single one. And sometimes seeing unwanted spoilers is not that bad if thanks to them, I can avoid being too much disappointed. As after seeing the end card of it, I knew this episode is nothing like I imagined.

[houseforarmys]

I’M IN TIME NOW AND IT’S EVEN A HOSEOK SHIP🥺💛 It’s so cute asdffhjl🥺 I imagine Hobi being the flower shop owner and he sees both Joon and Jin buying flowers everyday, for each other, not having any idea because they’re secretly sending them out (hope that made sense asdfhkl) and Hobi really wants them to get their shit together but on his way he ends up falling in love with them both and gets super confused in the end and they end up having a beach date🥺💛

that is super duper cuteee🥺 i don't really know what you meant by sending them out, so i may change that part a little but other than that, god i love this idea so much🥺🥺🥺 thank you, baby, i hope you'll like it!!💛

pairing: namjinseok

genre: fluff, slight angst (no  warnings)

"for your mysterious guy again?" hoseok asked, folding the paper around the stem of the flowers. namjoon blushed then, a shade of roses that made the florist laugh. "i'll take that as a yes,"

"you don't, uh, mind, right? that we make you our... i don't even know what to call you," hoseok laughed at his friend's words. he shook his head.

"nah, after all, your mysterious guy is also a friend of mine so," he shrugged. "i don't care, but i say one of you should grow a pair,"

"ah, you know i can't!" namjoon replied and hoseok could only shake his head. there was no way to make him do it, he knew it after many failed tries. "anyways, hob, i need to go to class. i'll see you later, i hope he comes for the flowers,"

"i hope so too," hoseok replied. he knew seokjin would take less than an hour to arrive and pick them up anyways, but he hid the fact. "go, don't be late," namjoon nodded and easily, he was alone again.

alone with his thoughts, he opened his phoned and pressed send on the message that wrote 'hey, he came back again. you have three flowers for you, but come later, at seven or so. i busy with a wedding today'.

liar. there was no wedding, no schedule and not even a delivery. but he had to grow a pair since none of his friends would. seven was when namjoon went to the florist, to check if his flowers had been picked up and if the mysterious guy, seokjin, had left him something back. it could be the perfect time to make them both meet, for the first time.

it was not a lie that hoseok had realized things he didn't know about before. he cried to sleep because of those. but it was impossible to miss the handwritten words seokjin wrote in the flowers for namjoon, or the smiles and fond look that namjoon's eyes had.

he hated it as much as he loved it. their way to love and the loved they recieved back made it impossible to not want it. in a way, hoseok felt jealous because he wanted to love them like that and be loved back in the same intensity. but how to step in it when the two men had been crushing on each other without even knowing how they look? right, there's no way.

when seokjin's reply light his phone up, he smiled, but it was sad.

seven arrived sooner than he had wanted it to be. with a delivery for the hospital being set for the next day and few clients he hadn't had time to fight his anxiety. his stomach filled with butterflies that he was sure meant no good.

when the door got opened, he smiled nervously, waving at seokjin as the eldest smiled back.

"hey, busy day?"

"yeah, pretty horrible one," he said, and seokjin smiled. he didn't ask for the flowers right away, stayed to ask about his day instead and hoseok thought that was another reason why he fell in love with him. seokjin was gentle, with pink smiles and open hearted hugs. "anyways, let me get your flowers,"

by the time he walked backwards to the storage room, he saw namjoon opening the door. he chuckled.

when he got back, and when namjoon saw him carrying his flowers, he smiled, handling them to seokjin. namjoon blushed and turned in place to look the other way. the eldest was too focused on the smell.

"this guy always knows what i'll like," he chuckled.

"you can thank him. namjoon, c'mon don't be shy. namjoon, seokjin. seokjin, namjoon,"

their reactions were two opposites for hoseok: beautiful and horrific. a shy smile, a deep blush, a stupid nervous laughter and then an awkward shake of hands that made them smile more.

he wanted in.

he smiled anyways.

"hoseok said you liked bonsais, so i, uh, was gonna get you one next week," seokjin said. the florist no longer knew where the conversation was flowing, but he smiled at namjoon's smile. "he talks about the flowers that you like whenever i get you one,"

"ha, he does that to me too. told me you liked poppies the most," namjoon said.

"you guys are just cheesy and cute," the justification didn't work, seokjin laughed at it in fact.

"or you just want us to get what we like," he said. hoseok nodded with a smile. "thank you,"

"my pleasure," hoseok smiled.

"well i, uh, i don't know much about plants, yet. i'm learning, but i know hob likes yellow flowers," namjoon laughed. "but he hated that time a bee was on one inside the store,"

"don't tell him!"

"you ran like a baby and that guy, the one that comes often, i don't know how he's named, but he picked it up in his hand and pushed it out," namjoon laughed and seokjin followed.

"listen, jeongguk is a big boy that likes all that is alive. me, on the contrary, likes it far," hoseok replied, in a defensive manner. "he even bought the flower to keep feeding the bee!"

"you were the first one to say you wouldn't want to kill the bee though," namjoon replied.

"he's a gentle boy," seokjin smiled. hoseok blushed. "there's a library not that far from here, would you guys want to go take a look?"

namjoon, who had all the rights to say yes, nodded. hoseok, doubted it until seokjin pushed him aling with them. and maybe, it would have been a day in which he had third wheel but with seokjin placing one of his flowers on top of hoseok's ear, he doubted it'd be just that. those eyes looked at him as if it was more than just friendship, and namjoon, not even slightly discomforted, smiled at the view of the two men laughing and blushing as seokjin fixed the flower.

[dokidokivisual]

Gochiusa BLOOM episode 5 impressions

Previously: 4 - 3 - 2 - 1

Welcome to another installment of my Gochiusa BLOOM episode reviews. At the end of last episode Cocoa finds out about Chino’s intention to go to her school, so this episode opens with some sort of ceremony to celebrate this fact. Despite a reference to alcohol, this ceremony might seem innocent, but it actually has a dark connotation...

First off, Cocoa is asking if everyone is holding a sakazuki. Sakazuki is a special traditional sake cup, which was apparently so important that it even has its own kanji  盃. A real sakazuki is actually more like a saucer than a cup, and holds very little alcohol. The girls are holding regular coffee cups, while pretending they are sakazuki. But what is the importance of sakazuki here?

The hint comes from Chiya’s description of the ceremony: 義兄弟の盃 (gikyodai no sakazuki) which literally translates as “sake cup of sworn brothers”, though kyodai can be used for siblings of any gender. The origin of this type of ceremony lies in Chinese 14th century novel Romance of Three Kingdoms, where the so-called Oath of the Peach Garden has transpired between three major characters. However in modern times, this type of brotherhood ceremony is mainly used by organized crime syndicates known as yakuza. So what you’re supposed to be seeing in this scene is literally Chino being initiated into a gang. If you’re interested, here’s a video of gikyodai sakazuki ceremony of Yamaguchi-gumi, the largest yakuza organization.

The ceremony is interrupted by Aoyama Blue Mountain who somehow got behind the counter. Soon, Mate Rin comes in looking for her, but she’s already gone. Before this point I didn’t know yet what the part B of the episode will be about, but this intro definitely provides a hint about it. Rin also gives a business card to Chiya, but it’s a bit difficult to read. Thankfully, there’s a better shot of it later in the episode.

Cocoa remembers there’s a marathon tournament, and Chiya is horrified when she learns that it involves running. However Cocoa persuades her that as Chino’s recently sworn older sister and senior she should run the whole distance.

Chiya’s motivation for participation in marathon was changed compared to the manga, the chapter in question (vol.5 ch.7) opens with Cocoa and Chiya doing exercises during PE class (a scene sadly cut out from the anime) and has to deal with Chiya and Cocoa’s friendship bond. This is why Chiya wants to finish the race with Cocoa so badly.

Chiya starts training by herself to get ready for the marathon. The location where she trains (some sort of clearing being overlooked by a bridge) is quite interesting, as it also appears in season 1 episode 5 (where Cocoa and Chiya practice volleyball) and Sing For You OVA where Chino uses the same tire excercise as part of her special training.

Ironically Rize thinks one tire is “too far” for Chiya, but 5 tires is ok for Chino who was supposed to train her singing. Anyway it’s quite interesting how some locations in town stay consistent, I wonder if the staff has a detailed map of them.

Despite having muscle pain from training, Chiya shows her resolve to finish the race to Cocoa. In this speech she mentions the Whirlwind (旋風) from the title of the episode (”On that day I will make Ama Usa An whirlwind blow”). Interestingly, the title of this manga chapter 千の夜を走る風となる (”run 1000 nights to become the wind”) also mentions the wind.

Cocoa also wants to train, and justifies her ability to wake up early with a helpful diagram (which looks as if she’s born directly from bread). To be fair, her justification that bakers wake up early does make sense, and she didn’t seem to have a problem to wake up in time in Dear My Sister. However when staying in Rabbit House, she definitely tends to oversleep, which happened this time too.

Rize and Chiya start training without her, and start playing shiritori to keep Chiya’s spirit up. Honestly this game appears in pretty much every anime ever, so should I even bother to explain the rules? Anyway, Rize names sweets that she supposedly overate, while Chiya names stuff that would be normally served at Ama Usa. However after saying いちご大福 (strawberry rice cake) she continues even though it’s Rize’s turn, saying 黒豆寒天 (black soybean jelly). This ends in “ん” (n) which is a losing turn in shiritori, since no Japanese words start with ん. Nevertheless, Chiya continues listing off Ama Usa desserts and eventually just switches to advertisement mode. Rize compares her to senden car which is a decorated truck that you can find driving around Japanese cities while blasting advertisements really loudly.

Rize introduces her stamp card here (which is an upgrade over her previous motivation techniques, such as the schedule in Dear My Sister), which gives Chiya an idea for an Ama Usa An stamp card. The reward for completing it is 90 minutes of all-you-can-drink piping hot oshiruko, which is a kind of soup made from red beans. The fact that it’s very hot was for some reason omitted from the official English subs, even though that’s what makes the deal especially ridiculous.

Cocoa still wants to train, so she asks Sharo to run with her. However when the morning comes she still can’t wake up on time. When Sharo talks about Chiya taking up jogging there is a montage of Chiya training with Rize, but at this moment Sharo doesn’t know that Chiya trains with Rize, which is why she gets jealous when it is revealed later.

Sharo’s orange phone with the dangling teacup charm was previously seen for example in season 2 episode 7. The exact model is “Kyocera Honey Bee 201K” and as you can see it’s accurately drawn down to the small details.

This is another repeatedly used Gochiusa outdoors location, seen for example in season 1 episode 6 when Cocoa and Tippy meet Aoyama, and in season 2 OP in the shot with Tippy, Anko and Wildgeese. This is where Rize wants to persuade Chiya to continue training, but Chiya isn’t having it. In the manga this is where Rize pulls out her stamp card (almost filled out) to persuade her, but in anime version we never see how many stamps she acquired.

The marathon starts and we see some of Cocoa’s classmates from the previous episode running by. As expected, Cocoa ended up being less fit than Chiya and had to hold on to Chiya’s twintails to keep up. The manga doesn’t actually show them finishing the race, so watching whether Chiya would be able to cross the finish line was quite suspenseful.

After the race, Sharo is disappointed at being left out, but Rize invites her for special training right away. Rize seems to be interested in some triathlon competition and tried to invite Chiya earlier, but Chiya was scared off by the mere name “triathlon”. A triathlon competition features running, cycling and swimming. Sharo is actually better than Rize at swimming (see season 1 episode 8) and perhaps Cocoa is the best at cycling.

We never see how these two trained, but in the manga there’s an additional illustration at page 65 of volume 5 which shows how it may looked like.

Now the “carefree breeze” part of the episode starts, and it’s based on volume 6 chapter 3, making it the first chapter from volume 6 to be animated. Even though there are 9 chapters between part A and part B of this episode, in retrospect it makes a lot of sense that they were put together. For one, they feature a lot of running. And there are a lot of outdoor locations. Such as the park where Cocoa and Chiya meet off-duty Aoyama.

You might recognize it as the same park where Cocoa meets Aoyama for the first time in season 1 episode 6. In season 2 episode 8, Cocoa and Chiya also walk through this park when returning from school. 

Cocoa and Chiya think Aoyama is going on a date (this is more explicit in the manga) but it seems she doesn’t have anything to do and just dressed up nicely for the sake of it.

She wants to play tag, which in Japanese is called oni-gokko and oni (a demon) is the one who’s chasing the other players. The role of the demon is relegated to Mate Rin who comes to Rabbit House for the second time this episode to search for Aoyama. This time we get a better look at her business card.

The name of the publisher is Seironsha (生論社 - the first kanji is not visible here, but is visible in the manga). Usually publishing companies in Kirara series are parodies of Houbunsha but not this time. I couldn’t find the reason behind this name anywhere. There’s a word “Seiron” which means “sound reasoning” but it’s spelled with different kanji (正論). There’s also a publisher Rironsha (理論社) although it seems pretty obscure. Also a fun fact: Aoyama’s book Bakery Queen (seen in Dear My Sister OVA) had a different publisher 走兎舎 (”Soutosha”?) which means “running rabbit house”.

Rize, Chino and Rin form Shin-furimawasare-tai (“the new at-their-mercy corps”) which is a reference to season 2 episode 8, as well as a few character songs recorded by Rize, Chino and Sharo as Furimawasare-tai. It seems that Sharo is sidelined a lot in this episode...

Next there’s a montage of them unsuccessfully chasing Chiya, Cocoa and Aoyama, which shows off various locations in town. They are not necessarily just random spots. For example the stairs with the statue and the fountain are actually right next to each other, as can be seen in Dear My Sister.

Then they spot Aoyama riding a gondola (a somewhat fancier one than in the beginning of episode 3) and Tippy falls off Chino’s head. Which doesn’t happen nearly as often as you’d think it would. Last time (season 2 episode 6) it also involved boats...

Cocoa, Chiya and Aoyama make a pact to be caught together, but it falls apart rather quickly, as Cocoa gets lured by Chino. The scene of Cocoa being captured was quite expanded compared to the manga, with Chiya and Aoyama trying to discourage Cocoa from falling into the obvious trap, and then lamenting her “passing”. 

Despite the earlier pact to be caught at once, Aoyama and Chiya split up and Rize ends up chasing Chiya. This is where the marathon chapter is referenced, as the teacher ends up chasing the student. Chiya was able to keep up for a while, but hits the dead-end and surrenders to Rize.

Meanwhile Cocoa, Chino and Rin go to some sort of fair, where Sharo finally appears, performing as Phantom Thief Lapin. Rin, being a fan of Lapin comes closer and discovers Aoyama already sitting there, who seems to like Sharo a bit too much... 

I also wonder where did Tippy come from, because it didn’t seem like Aoyama carried him while running away earlier. Next we see the infamous rabbit carousel, which looks even weirder when CGI animated.

It’s evening now, but if you look back at Rize chasing Chiya scene it’s clear that the sun is already beginning to set by then, and the sky becomes darker in the Lapin scene. There are all sorts of colorful lights in the background, which creates a proper fairgrounds atmosphere.

The lighting gets even more fairytale-like as everyone gets on the carousel, with bokeh effect being created by all the lights at the fair. Interestingly, the word “bokeh” comes from Japanese where it means “blur”. This entire scene looks quite amazing with CGI and special effects blending in with 2d animation very well. I bet it used up more budget than the rest of the episode, but it was worth it.

One of the interesting shots here was this one, with Chiya riding alone and looking pensively at Rize and Sharo, which made me feel bad for her. At least in the manga version, Chiya was riding with Rin so she didn’t look as lonely.

Aoyama and Rin are reminiscing about their past, and there’s a flashback of Aoyama in high-school uniform thanking Master (Chino’s grandfather) for lending her a fountain pen (a callback to season 1 episode 9 where she loses this pen). Unbeknownst to her, Master is sitting right in her lap, as Tippy. Maybe if Aoyama kept track of when she hears Master’s voice and Tippy is around, she’d have figured it out by now...

Anyway, that was another great episode of Gochiusa BLOOM, and check in next week for my review of the next episode which is coming out this Saturday. Seems like it will have more rabbits than usual...

[takerfoxx]

The Owl House, Season 1, Episode 8, “Once Upon a Swap,” First Impressions!

I see what they’re getting at, but...

So last episode was heavily focused on the series’ main draw: the dynamic between Luz and Amity and their developing relationship. As such, it makes sense to pull things back for the next episode and do a more self-contained wacky, fun adventure, which is what I expected them to do.

But while I liked this episode and laughed a lot, it was kind of...

Well, we’ll get to that later.

Anyway, what’s our plot? While manning Eda’s human novelties booth, Luz, Eda, and King get into an argument about who has the most difficult life, with each believing that the other has it pretty easy. To solve this, Eda just spontaneously has them switch bodies and live a day in someone’s else’s shoes, with Eda going into King’s body, King going into Luz, and Luz going into Eda. So it’s a deliberate Freaky Friday setup, complete with a blatant shoutout to the actual movie.

Now, this is a funny, and I really like the new designs for the characters, especially King in Luz’s body. Like, she (or he?) just looks outright feral now, and it’s great. But my main question is...why? Why did Eda immediately do this? Their argument didn’t seem to be much more serious than their usual banter, so why choose to do something so dangerous so quickly? I mean, she’s scolded Luz for being reckless many times in the past, and she just lets Luz take her body for a ride, magic and all? It’s kind of like the Hexus Holdem game and her addiction to it, it just kind of comes out of nowhere. 

But whatever. They part ways to enjoy what they perceive to be each other’s easy life. With Eda, she wanders into the demon equivalent of a Cat Cafe, and at first is enjoying being pampered. But then she finds out that the propeitors are kinda nuts and are literally brainwashing all the cat-demons in their care until they lose all sense of self, and now she can’t escape and has to wear a Bee costume and be cute.

King jumps headfirst into the whole mischievous teen thing, taking over a group of rowdy teens and leads them on a day of pranks, until one of them has enough and challenges him to a race, which goes wrong due to a busted track, he accidentally smashes their clubhouse, and things devolve from there.

As for Luz, she has fun using Eda’s magic to spice up the human novelties booth and grandly turns on the showwomanship, but just as Eda predicted this attracts the attention of the town guards, who arrest her and take her to prison, where she’s interrogated by none other than Lilith, who is still trying to convince her to quit a life of crime and join the Emperor’s Guild. Forcibly. Luz is having none of that, and hijinks ensues.

Naturally, the three friends then cross paths, save each other, switch their bodies back, and escape by having all of their pursuers switch their bodies instead, and they all learn a valuable lesson about not dismissing the hardships of others.

Okay, again, this was a very funny episode, but it just left me scratching my head. First, why did Eda do this? She just hit the spell almost immediately. Wouldn’t it have made more sense if they switched bodies by accident and THEN decided to have their contest? 

Also, the whole premise of the contest doesn’t make any sense, since their new lives got derailed by some very special circumstances that their bodies’ original owners wouldn’t have found themselves in (save possibly for Luz in Eda’s body). King only lost because of the road being out and him landing directly on the clubhouse by pure chance. And if Eda had gotten back to the Owl House, she really would have had a fine time lazing about instead of randomly running into the deranged cat cafe. 

Also, if Eda is so powerful that Luz can literally bust free by accident despite being in handcuffs and held in maximum security with Lilith right there, what is Eda even afraid of? And why don’t the guards have magic cancelling handcuffs? Shouldn’t that be what they want to disable?

But again, it was still a very funny episode. I just felt that the justification for the body swap was a little weak.

[oohfluffy]

TIHM Ch.15 | BBH

Group: EXO

Member: Byun Baekhyun

Theme: Angst | Fluff | Rated M | University!AU | Football!AU

Word Count: 3,065

chapter 15

"Is this Lee Saejin?"

You just got home from school, and the phone rang as soon as you got in. 

"Ah, yes. Who's this?"

"This is the Family Care Hospital."

You quickly ran out of the house as soon as the caller told you about what happened.

Your grandmother was hit by a truck, and she's now in a critical condition.

"Grandma..." Your tears streamed down your cheeks as you hastily got inside of the hospital. You frantically asked the nurses on the counter, lips quivering in fear and anxiousness. "W-Where's she?"

"Ms. Lee?" A nurse called you and gently led you to the waiting area. You looked around with your eyes wide, breathing fast as your hands clasped together. "Calm down, Saejin-ssi. Your grandmother is inside the operation room. They're trying their best to..."

Everything was fading rapidly.

You couldn't hear what the woman was saying. You were in this black hole, and all you wanted to do was cry and scream in fear.

You couldn't lose her.

Not her.

"P-Please." Your voice broke as you sobbed on your seat. Your shoulders shook while your tears continuously flowed down your face. "I-I can't lose my grandma."

But it seemed like you weren't really favored by luck.

"I heard she lost her grandmother."

"Suits her right for being a slut."

"Maybe karma is working!"

"She shouldn't have done that, what a shame."

You were still in that black hole. Still in that corner. Still crying. Still being consumed by sadness.

Still alone.

You started to learn how to hurt yourself to refrain from being numb. 

You pinch your skin too hard. You punch the wall too hard. You scratch your wound too hard. You tug on your hair too hard. You hit your head too hard.

You needed to feel.

And those kids in the university were making it easier to do so.

Your body straightened as the coldness hit the top of your head. Laughters and snickers were heard as soon as you locked the door of the cubicle you were in.

"Oh damn! That must be so cold!" 

"Shush! Let her enjoy it silently."

"I'm surprised she didn't scream."

"Let's go!"

Your lips quivered as you slumped down on the toilet. With water droplets trickling down your hair, your clothes dampened. You shivered as you felt your skin getting too cold.

Despite the bad intention, you were grateful for those bitches. 

Your hand gripped on the cutter in your pocket. You let out a pained sigh as you shook your head.

You would have used a more painful way to feel.

"Saejin-ah."

You slowly closed your locker door. With blank eyes, you turned your head to the person who called you. You didn't bother gasp as you felt your lips dry.

Park Yong Sun.

"I-I'm sorry, Saejin-ah." She cried as she looked down, her dark hair falling on her face. You just stared at her vulnerable state. Everyone around you seems to be interested and curious about what's happening in your life. "I-It's my fault."

Your eyes watered as you looked at the person who you trusted your everything with. Your best friend that grew up with you, stayed with you, and cared for you.

What made her do this?

Was it the cuts on your wrists? The bruises on your temple? Maybe the red marks on your neck? Or was it your busted lip? Which one made her feel guilty?

"I-I'm so sorry—"

You walked past her, limping as you went out of the hallway. You didn't want to hear the rest. You didn't want to listen to her lies, or her justifications why she did that. You didn't want to see her again.

She didn't deserve it.

"She's here!"

"Is it true that she's the reason?"

"How can she appear here as if she didn't do anything?!"

You were wrecked when you heard the news. You weren't supposed to care or to be involved. 

"Park Yong Sun is dead. She killed herself."

And you cannot comprehend how it is your fault again.

—

"Say ahh." Baekhyun said as he carefully nudged a spoonful of ice cream on your lips. You complied quickly and ate it, trying to avoid a much more embarrassing scenario in public. "Good girl." 

"Shut up."

Wondering what you are doing with that puppy?

It's just your first date with him—let's change that.

It's your first acquaintance gathering with him.

"Let's go play!" He excitedly said as he threw the empty cup away, dragging you again around the mall. Girls were ogling at him as he walked past. You couldn't help but to roll your eyes. He was just wearing a plain oversized white shirt that slightly shows off his broad chest, and a pair of glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose.

He looks like a good boy, and everyone digs it as usual.

You were supposed to be taking a day off alone, but then Baekhyun knew, and he just couldn't leave you to spend the day alone. He's been stuck on you for the past few days, and it was annoying but comforting at the same time.

After a few minutes of walking, you got inside a game station. There were a lot of kids and teens playing, and it was almost crowded. You felt uneasy as Baekhyun easily got through it.

You both walked until you were in front of a huge screen with two guns in front.

"I'm not good at these things, Baekhyun." You whined as he gave you a huge weapon that supposedly kills zombies on the screen. He just grinned and patted your cheek before getting his. "We're just going to die, I'm telling you."

"We're not, baby. I'm here." He winked as he clicked the start button. Your heart thumped loudly as the game began. "Just follow my lead, okay? If you didn't know, I'm a damn good player."

"Oh I know that, Byun. You are a player."

Baekhyun grunted as he knew you were talking about a different thing.

You almost squealed when a zombie suddenly appeared in front of you, making you instinctively pull the trigger of your gun. And another one on the side, and on top, and on the farthest left!

Baekhyun watched as you single-handedly killed the zombies attacking you. He smirked as he looked at the screen, keeping up his game so he won't lose to you.

"I think I should be threatened, baby. You're a good player too." He laughed as he quickly pulled the trigger, killing as many zombies as he could. You grunted as you breathed in and out loudly, hands gripping on the weapon tightly.

After an hour of playing around the game station, you sat down on a bench with a tired smile on your face. Baekhyun went to find a vending machine to buy water, so you waited for him outside the game station.

You were looking around the place, taking in the sight of the stores and stalls, when a group of girls were approaching while giggling.

"I saw him here earlier!" The one in front said as she led her friends to the game station.

"Was he alone? I bet he wasn't!" The other girl exclaimed incredulously behind her.

"I don't think so. But hey, we can separate them for a while, don't you think? And we can play with him instead."

They all giggled together like fucking bees, pushing each other to the place until they all stopped. It was quiet as you leaned your back on the glass, becoming a bit impatient already.

"Babe. Sorry, did you wait long?" The familiar gentle voice that Baekhyun has been using on you said, making you look up at him. He was kind of sweating as he held out a cold bottle of water. "The vending machine inside was broken, so I needed to get to the working one outside."

You smiled gratefully as you took the bottle and quickly took a sip on it. You glanced at the girls, who were surprisingly still at the entrance, and looked back at the boy in front of you. Baekhyun has his eyes only set on you.

"Sit down." You patted the space on your left, and he easily complied like a dog. You took another gulp of water before giving it to Baekhyun, who took it with hesitation. "Aren't you thirsty? You're even sweating." You pulled out your handkerchief from your pocket.

"Ah, it's okay—" Without a word, you patted his face with your hanky. His eyes were wide as you willingly wiped his sweat. His lips parted when you wiped even his neck. He glanced around a bit, and saw that there was an audience behind him. He smirked at you. 

"It's not good to just dry off your sweat—" You said seriously as you glared sideways at the girls watching. 

You were fully composed until Baekhyun decided to join your little roleplaying.

"Anything for my baby." He said loudly as he leaned on your touch, lightly kissing your wrist as he did. Your cheeks were instantly in flames as you watched him. "I just love getting tended by you like this."

You bit your lip as your hand stopped on Baekhyun's cheek.

Your eyes went to his own, feeling drawn to his gaze. His hand held yours that was on his cheek, he smiled as he gave it a peck, letting his lips linger on your skin.

"Thank you." He mumbled as he sighed in relief. He slowly intertwined his fingers with yours, letting your hands rest on his lap. He drank from the opened bottle of water that you gave him earlier, drinking from the same spot you drank. You gulped down the lump forming in your throat before looking away.

"L-Let's go?" You asked as you glanced back at the murmuring girls behind him. Baekhyun nodded and stood up hand-in-hand with you. You led him out of those girls' gazes, taking lead in dragging him around this time.

You let out a breath of relief when you were finally out of the people's curious gazes. You stepped onto the escalator with Baekhyun behind you, and still had your fingers intertwined with him. You were deep into your thoughts when you felt warmth on your neck.

"Where are we going next, Saejin-ah?" Baekhyun whispered, his breath tickling your ear as he leaned on your shoulder. You almost shivered at his low voice.

Am I out of my mind already? This guy is a freaking playboy! He knows how to play!

"We are eating. I'm hungry." You mumbled as you got off the escalator, dragging him to follow you. You saw your favorite fast food chain, and grinned. You pointed at it. "There. We'll eat there."

Baekhyun watched as your eyes twinkled while you waited in line. He can sense your excitement and happiness at the moment, and he's loving every second of it. He was just behind you when a guy kept on bumping on your shoulder. You glanced at the man and furrowed your brows.

You chose to ignore it until the man almost fell over you. Baekhyun was quick to think and tugged you closer to him before the man fell. The people around were shrieking and asking for help. That man, with no question, is drunk.

"You alright?" Baekhyun asked as he hugged you from behind, feeling your body turn rigid as you looked at the man before you. "Were you hurt?"

The man was already being carried by the staff, and finally got out of the line. Baekhyun squeezed your arms as he didn't hear you responding. He decided to be the one who orders for the both of you.

With you in his arms.

Yes, you saw that right. 

Unbeknownst to Baekhyun, you couldn't think and speak clearly because of him. Because he was too close to you. Because he is currently hugging you from behind as if he was a koala bear!

Is he crazy? Well, I guess I am too because I'm letting him do this!

"Yeah, that will be all." You heard Baekhyun say to the cashier, arms falling from you for a second to grab his wallet. You instantly walked to the side, surprising him and the cashier. You didn't dare look around because for sure, everyone was watching the scene unfold before them.

"Come on. Let's grab out seats." Baekhyun mumbled as he grabbed your hand and walked around the place to find empty seats. Fortunately, there was a two-seated table near the counter.

You couldn't look at him straight. You just looked at your hands on your lap. The hands that finally got used to holding hands with someone else because of him. Your cheeks blushed as you recalled the times you held hands with him.

Oh no, Saejin. No. 

"Saejin-ah? Baby?"

Your head snapped up at Baekhyun, eyes wide as if you were a deer caught in headlights. Baekhyun raised his eyebrows in worry.

"You okay?" He asked, lips pouting as he looked all over your face. "You didn't get hurt earlier, did you?"

My heart is wavering, Byun. I'm not liking it.

"No, I'm fine." You said as you weakly smiled at him. He frowned as if sensing you weren't. "Really. I'm just kind of tired." 

His body was warm.

He suddenly smiled.

"Were you getting possessive earlier, baby?" Baekhyun leaned on his hand on the table, his eyes crinkling in delight. "I saw those girls you glared at. Were they looking for me?"

Your eyes widened as your eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Was that being possessive?! I just disliked the fact that he's getting attention everywhere!

"Tss. No way." You spat as you looked away, sighing in relief when the waiter arrived. 

Baekhyun just wouldn't drop it though.

"I'm certain you were claiming me at that moment, Lee Saejin. " Baekhyun grinned as he watched you quickly shoving fries in your mouth. "I saw it in your eyes, and they don't lie."

"Think whatever you like. I was just being kind, that's all." 

He took a sip on his coke, eyes never leaving your face. You were angrily chomping on your burger, making him chuckle while he watched you.

"I wish you'll always be kind then." He mumbled, making you look up at him. "I won't look anywhere else anymore if you're just right here."

You probably look like a hamster now, with all the food stuck in your cheeks. Realizing this, you quickly chewed on it and gulped them down. You drank your soda, hoping to clear both your throat and mind as you did.

"I'm serious, baby." 

You stopped moving as you heard his deep voice, one that he hasn't used often when he casually talks to you. You looked at him again with wary eyes. His gaze was gentle, but at the same time, hard. 

He's serious. Damn serious.

"Let me court you."

Your mouth gaped at his words. 

Byun Baekhyun courting me?! Is this a scam?

"Y-You? Courting? Me?" You stuttered as you pointed at yourself. Baekhyun nodded. You chuckled humorlessly. "You should think about it—"

"I have." He said sternly as he stared into your eyes intensely. Your lips parted. "I've been thinking about it everyday since I met you. And I've only got one conclusion, Saejin."

You shook your head at him, losing your appetite.

"You don't know me, Baekhyun. You might fancy me now, but I'm sure you'd be out of my sight in a few days." You said bravely with a straight face. The happy and soft atmosphere before was ruined in one moment. "You're used to change, Baekhyun. I'm not sure if I can take that in. I'm not sure if I'll be strong enough to be broken again. I'm not sure if I can bear with it."

Baekhyun's eyebrows furrowed as he watched your eyes welling up. He didn't want to see those tears flowing on your cheeks. He didn't want to make you cry.

"Hey, hey." He quickly stood up and dragged his chair beside you. You sniffled as you looked away. "Baby. Hey. Don't cry. Okay, I'm not gonna push this courting shit on you. I'll wait, okay?"

What if he knew about what happened before? Wouldn't he be like everyone else? Would he disappear too? He's popular, and to stay popular, he needs to. He would be ruined because of me. I don't want to start something that I know will just bring pain to both of us.

You silently cried as he hugged you, pressing your head on his broad chest. You felt comforted by his warmth and his scent. His hands caressed your back as he quietly spoke to you.

"I just wanted to prove to you that I'm willing to court you and make you my only one."

You unexpectedly snorted at his cheesy words, making him pout. You chuckled as you saw him looking down at you.

"Sorry, that was too cheesy I couldn't handle it." You whispered on his chest, a smile tugging on your lips. "I understand, Baekhyun. I hope you can understand me too, until I'm ready to open up to you."

He smiled at your reply, pushing away the fact that you just snorted at his wonderful line.

"Okay, deal. No courting." He mumbled as he kissed your temple. You groaned at his sly advances. "Flirting then?"

"Oh shut it."

"You like me too, right?"

"I didn't say anything about that—"

"You do, Saejin-ah. You're just fighting it."

Your lips jutted out as you realize he was right—

AM I? AM I LIKING THIS PLAYBOY?! NO WAY, LEE SAEJIN.

"I like you, Lee Saejin." He whispered as he hugged you tighter. "Being this close to you makes me so happy." He nuzzled his nose on your hair like a puppy wanting attention. 

"And you smell damn amazing—"

You quickly pushed him away and sat up straight. You ate your burger again as if nothing happened. You wiped your eyes with your sleeves, and chewed on your food. Baekhyun was still beside you, frowning at your response.

"Eat, Baekhyun." You sternly said as you nodded at his food. He sighed as he grabbed his food, but stayed beside you as he ate. Your lips tugged into a smile as you drank your soda.

You're scared, but maybe, just maybe...

—

Tagging my loves: ❤

@forbyun | @neogoturback | @jisungispilledmyuwus | @shesdreaminginoverdose | @mongryong-the-corgi | @baekhyunsdangerouswoman | @itsbaekhyunsbutt | @lalalala-lav | @thoughtsofapril | @byuniieo | @feline-xiu | @banddits | @jummyjammy | @bunniemyeon | @jddcfc-blog | @half-moon-x​ | @byunxo | @byunbeautifulb

—

♫ Ch.16

[nezumiismissing]

Yoming: A Step-By-Step Guide on How Not to Lead a Revolution

So in honor of Earth Day (and also my birthday) today I reallly wanted to write something about No.6 and the environment/environmentalism, but I only realized I should do that right as I was about to go to bed last night, so it didn’t happen. Maybe next year. Anyways here’s a post on a completely different (but maybe still relevant) topic that I’ve had in my drafts for probably a year and finally got the motivation to finish over the weekend!

So I’ve been thinking a lot recently about No.6 and revolution, because I’ve always viewed No.6 as a story that is very much about revolution, and yet the revolution that actually occurs within the story (at least in the novels/manga) is objectively a failure and instead serves mostly as a way for No.6 to demonstrate its military power (and create an exciting climax to the story). Despite this failure, however, I don’t think that No.6 is ultimately against revolutionary action, and instead simply uses the example of Yoming's character and ideology to demonstrate what a revolution in the real world shouldn't look like. Because while he is clearly correct in his desire to see No.6 fall, Yoming is still, in many ways, an antagonist of the story, and ultimately attempts to do the right thing in the wrong ways for the wrong reasons.

Now obviously the biggest offense here is the fact that his entire plan to mobilize people is based on a lie. We know that there is no secret vaccine against the bees, and we know that people from any class within the city are able to die from them. So already the premise from which Yoming plans to base his overthrow of No.6 is corrupted. But even beyond that, there are numerous issues with the framing and motivation for revolution in this context, mainly stemming from the fact that, despite what he might say, Yoming doesn't actually know that much about No.6. He knows that there is a strict hierarchy within the city, and that people are regularly taken away from their families. He doesn’t know where they go or what happens to them, and while his assumptions about the people who are taken away may be true (for the most part), that’s all they really are, assumptions.

I think what gets to me the most about this is the fact that he appears to be entirely convinced that he has the whole story. He doesn’t even consider the idea that other atrocities may be occurring within the city or in the Correctional Facility, and he doesn’t ever mention the huge population of people living in West Block, and what conditions they may be living in as a result of No.6’s actions and existence. The (true) idea that No.6 may have even been built upon extreme violence against another group does not occur to him. Those people are not important to his personal experiences or goals, and so they are not important to the resistance in its entirety, despite the fact they are arguably the primary victims of No.6, and their situation is not entirely unknown to the general populace. Rather than a movement focused on systemic injustice and a highly corrupt/authoritarian government, Yoming instead creates what amounts to an almost entirely unconstructive riot based on his own personal desire for revenge, resulting in the deaths of multiple people who, while maybe not entirely happy with the city, were also not directly involved in any of the things being protested. By focusing so intensely on the individual, the concept of a collectivist-based society is completely left behind and forgotten, as in Yoming’s mind collectivism is aligned with the control and utilitarianism of No.6, and can thus only be opposed by the inverse organizational ideology of individualism, rather than a different form of collectivism focused on community and justice.

This of course leads to the scene where we actually see the extent of his insanity, in which Karan brings up the fact that a large mobilization of people against the city will cause No.6 to use military force. We of course already know that this is exactly what will happen, as we've just witnessed it in West Block and know how the leaders of the city function, but even within Yoming’s limited context, this should be seen as a completely plausible and likely scenario, as it directly aligns with the authoritarianism he claims to oppose. But he isn’t able to imagine anything that he hasn’t seen personally, and ideologically he isn’t really that different from No.6, as he only wishes to replace the current leadership with his own in order to protect those he deems worthy (as is shown in Beyond), and so he rejects it. Not only that, he says that it is impossible for No.6 to have an army, because it would go against the Babylon Treaty, a document that no one in the city seems to have actual knowledge or understanding of outside of a very surface level reading (and also definitely not the main reason you should be concerned about a state using military force on its own people). He isn’t willing to completely let go of his own utopian ideals, or those of the creators of No.6 though, and so he is unable to accept that at a fundamental level, the city has overstepped its boundaries. He isn’t able to see the disappearances of people as a systemic issue affecting the population as a whole rather than individuals and families, and is therefore unable to imagine that those disappearances may have a purpose outside of simple control, or that they may only be a small piece of a much larger issue.

Just a quick aside here; while I sympathize with Karan’s strong desire to not get anyone killed in the process of destroying and rebuilding a society, I think she’s also wrong to think that that is in any way realistic. She is aware enough of the situation to recognize that an army likely does exist, and she knows that things cannot remain as they are, but in entirely rejecting Yoming’s way of thinking, she is also eliminating any chance of No.6’s fall actually occurring in a way that doesn’t involve bees killing everyone. There’s obviously a huge philosophical debate to be had about whether or not death on either side is acceptable or even allowable during such a large political shift, and I’m not looking to really start that debate here because otherwise this would be a 20 page essay, but all I will say is that even without the deaths inflicted as a result of the revolution, the destruction of the Correctional Facility, which we are led to believe is an almost entirely positive outcome, didn’t come without its own significant death toll (and not all of those victims were on the side of No.6).

Yoming is rightfully angry at the city for creating such a strict social hierarchy and murdering his wife and son, and he is right to wish for the city’s destruction (although he doesn’t really know why this is correct), but neither of those occurrences are a justification for the suffering he put the rest of the citizens through. If he knew what was actually happening to the city, he wouldn’t have had to lie, and he knows that. It is then perhaps the case that he lies about the vaccine not because he actually believes that it exists, but because he knows that his experiences are not shared by a large number of people, and are not enough to get the entire population to join in his personal fight, so he needs to invent something that sounds real enough that people will go along with him. In this case, the bees are not his enemy, and instead are just a neutral occurrence that he is able to use as a tool in his favor. In his mind, it doesn’t matter that the citizens will eventually find out about the lie, because by then he thinks that he will already be seen as a hero, and perhaps the lie will even be seen as positive, since in this case the truth is difficult to believe. But in the end, it wasn’t enough to actually make a difference, because neither side was willing to either separate themselves from their own beliefs and ideology for long enough in order to understand the entirety of the situation, or create a legitimate and strong opposition to the other side.

I think that Yoming’s failures as a revolutionary icon are an important aspect of the story, and while he was ultimately unsuccessful, there are certainly many positive aspects of what he had hoped to accomplish, so I’m not trying to rewrite the ending of the story in any way, but what could he have done better? If his way of doing things wasn’t correct, but pacifism is also out of the question, then how could the situation have been resolved? If this were a real situation, as opposed to a story where it is important to maintain a sense of tension, I believe the best option would probably have been to wait until more information was available to avoid having to lie in the first place. There is definitely a fine line here, and I wouldn't fault anyone for disagreeing, but there has to be some threshold of facts and dissatisfaction that must be met before taking such extreme measures as a revolution, and I don't think that by that point in the story it had been reached yet. He also could have just been honest. This would have been risky, but he had already taken advantage of the confusion caused by the bees, so taking a much smaller chance in order to build the strength of his group would probably have been a better move than endangering the entire city for personal reasons. Of course he wouldn’t actually do this because it would involve a self sacrifice, which under his extremely self-centered individualist ideology is entirely unacceptable, but if he were to actually be interested in improving society, this would have probably been a good move.

Just at the end here I would like to touch on the endings of Yoming's character arcs in the various iterations of the story, because all of them are excellent in their own ways, and deserve a brief discussion.

Starting with the anime, this is just about as good an ending for his character as you could have asked for given the circumstances of the anime’s ending. The anime doesn’t exactly frame him as a revolutionary icon like the novels and manga do, so he is very much just kind of a crazy dude who also has somewhat higher legitimacy than manga/novel Yoming due to his lack of actually doing anything of significance and therefore also not getting anyone directly killed. His revolution is doomed from the start as he gives his speech to a crowd of people who can’t hear him because they’re already dead, and his lack of any actual public appearance is successful in framing him as simply an overly ambitious coward who is very much deserving of his off-screen death by the one thing that made his message questionable in the first place. It’s a very different characterization than the one seen in the novels, and while it has some consequences for the overall effect of the anime’s story that I’m not going to get into here, it's an extremely effective way of getting across the point that this revolution was not going to work. It also ties Yoming more directly to the revolution itself, with the fall of No.6 and subsequent lack of need for revolutionary action also resulting in the destruction of the revolution’s leader.

Because there is no manga for Beyond, we are also in a way given another ending for Yoming in the manga, although I feel it is incomplete. Because the manga follows the novels so closely, we see the revolution occurring prior to Shion and Nezumi’s interference, all the way up to when Yoming gives his speech in front of city hall, and then he is never seen again. This is probably the weakest of the three endings for him just because the novels give us the same scenes but with a very well done follow-up in Beyond, but I think this still works fairly well. Like the anime, this ending proves that Yoming was not really needed in order to destroy No.6, and that the scale of what was happening was completely beyond his abilities. But on the other hand, by showing the revolution in the first place, unlike the anime, we are left with the possibility that he could have been successful had it not been for Shion and Nezumi’s extremely convenient arrival at that moment. It was unlikely that it would have succeeded of course, but without either the confirmation of his death such as in the anime or the context and developments given to us in Beyond, we have no way of knowing what would have happened next. Yoming is neither a hero nor a failure in this version of the story, but instead was not given a chance to exert his full power, and therefore becomes a mostly insignificant figure in the overall story of the manga. 

Finally we come to the novels, where we get a much fuller picture of who Yoming is and what his real goals were in the story told in Beyond. Rather than acting simply as the figure of a failed revolution, he continues in his quest to destroy No.6 and build a new society. However, As was mentioned earlier his actions imply that the society he wanted was not all that different from No.6 other than the fact that he would be (at least in part) in charge of it. This is of course the issue that all revolutions and their leaders must face, “Once we get into power, how do we prevent ourselves from becoming corrupt and recreating the thing we were originally fighting against?” For Yoming, the answer is that you don’t. His movement used the power of the people to earn leverage in the fall of the city and subsequent rebuilding, but was ultimately never about helping the people of No.6 as a whole, and instead served as a vehicle for just replacing the current leadership with a new regime functioning under the guise of a people’s movement. It’s a smart move if you can make it work for you, as any number of real-world examples have shown, but as we see in Beyond, Yoming really isn’t smart enough to pull it off, and since he is only one member on a larger council of leadership, his lack of overwhelming power makes it impossible for him to take total control of the city, and ensures that he is eventually caught. That isn’t to say that the system is perfect, as Shions actions clearly show it is not, but it functions well enough to weed out those who are not actually interested in restructuring. You could of course also make the argument that Shion takes over what would have been Yoming’s role had he succeeded, but that’s a different discussion for a different day.

I don’t really have anything else to add here, so this is the end of the post! There’s more to discuss here of course (there always is), but I feel that this gets the main ideas across in a way that is (hopefully) easy to understand. Revolution is complicated, including in fiction, and there really is no one right way to go about it. But in the context of a story like No.6, which is so much about revolution and social change, the portrayal of a movement that was ultimately a failure and upheld ideas of corruption alongside one that had greater success is an exercise in the exploration of the topic that not only makes the story much more interesting, but greatly contributes to our own understanding of the topic and the ideas associated with it.

[twistednuns]

October 2020

To buttress - increase the strength of or justification for; reinforce / to mollycoddle - to give someone too much care or protection. 

A letter from Nina. One of those weird internet connections. Not my first one, certainly not my last one.

Frank’s DnD backstory reads quite insightful/poetic to me as he has taken so much from his life. He might have done it without intent but it’s quite obvious to me. I’ve agreed to make a character sketch for him. I’m looking forward to the challenge but I’m also afraid of starting the project because obviously I want it to be perfect. Anyway so the other night I sat at his kitchen table and started drawing a facial composite for his goliath. Lots of sketches actually with him giving me some prompts and ideas. I think he loved watching me do my magic. What a peaceful moment.

Applause from some students. Simply for entering the room. They must really hate their English teacher, eh?

I’ve started forming the habit of drawing tarot cards on a full moon and new moon night. It helps me set an intention for the following two weeks. So on the first of October I drew the Queen of Wands to represent me and I’m loving it. It’s the perfect choice.

The fabric dyeing process for the Plot exhibition at Haus der Kunst

Inviting warmth into my life. Wearing appropriately warm clothing. Even hats. Drinking tea all the time. Turning the heating on even though it’s only September. Warm breakfast. Ayurveda inspiration. Hot baths. Thinking about buying an electric heating blanket for my bed.So far I’ve been taking a hot water bottle to bed with me pretty much every night.

Finding one of those Barts woolly animal hats online. This one came with tigers. And the seller sent me a cherry marzipan teabag. I enjoyed it on a cold and rainy Saturday morning.

FAQ: The Status of the Shits Women Have Left to Give

Reading the final scenes of Leigh Bardugo’s Shadow and Bone trilogy. I actually took the wrong bus one evening and ended up in front of one of the Pinakotheken instead of Villa Stuck. I must have been quite immersed. I’m very happy with the ending. I mean, the main character is walking around the house barefoot with the smell of fresh paint following her, her hair loose. What a wonderful image.

The wind blowing through the maple trees outside my living room window. I’m just going to quote a Wikipedia article to explain what happened next: The distinctive fruits are called samaras, “maple keys”, “helicopters”, “whirlybirds” or “polynoses”. These seeds occur in distinctive pairs each containing one seed enclosed in a “nutlet” attached to a flattened wing of fibrous, papery tissue. They are shaped to spin as they fall and to carry the seeds a considerable distance on the wind. People often call them “helicopters” due to the way that they spin as they fall. During World War II, the US Army developed a special airdrop supply carrier that could carry up to 65 pounds (29 kg) of supplies and was based on the maple seed.

Monsieur Wiener - I’ve paid him a visit when I had problems with my analogue Pentax camera!

I don’t know why but one dark Friday evening I slipped into the empty church at Odeonsplatz. I loved the peaceful atmosphere, the specific smell and the red church candles flickering.

I loved meeting Flo. We had such a great time, constantly joking, talking about this and that. Sailor Mercury, Hades, our family. His wink. He said that I had been exactly right but in the end apparently I wasn’t. It stung because he had been one of the rare guys in the last months (years, actually) I actually liked. Oh well. I guess it wasn’t meant to be after all. This is what the Universe had to say about it the other day: There are no accidents. If it’s appeared on your life’s radar, this is why: to teach you that dreams come true; to reveal that you have the power to fix what’s broken and heal what hurts; to catapult you beyond seeing with just your physical senses; and to lift the veils that have kept you from seeing that you’re already the person you dreamed you’d become.

Videos of Marno and Erin together. Also: she is so freakin’ beautiful as a marauder.

A surprise call from Ann-Katrin.

Sweet chai tea with milk.

The bright moonlight making the neighbours’ roof look like fish scales.

Forensic linguistics. I listened to a podcast episode about the Unabomber who was only discovered after his brother had noticed some stylistic irregularities in his manifesto. You can’t eat your cake and have it too.

Autumn leaves. Especially when it’s just the outer leaves turning red or yellow while the rest of the foliage is still green.

Sitting next to my ten-year-old student Ella on the bus on our way home on a Friday afternoon. She’s a very chatty Gemini and even though her self-importance and constant talking can be quite annoying I’ve kinda taken a liking to her.

A bunch of Alstroemeria in my dark green glass vase on the desk. A pretty image.

I still appreciate how beautiful my LuLuLemon thermos bottle is after all this time.

I should probably mention my new hair (extensions). Well, it looks absolutely gorgeous from the front. But I already know that I won’t get them again because you can see the glue in a few places, it’s quite hard, often painful and feels unnatural. And of course it’s much too expensive.

Baby carrots with King hummus.

My lunch dates with Becky.

Making my favourite sour thai curry. With rice noodles. And peanuts and cilantro. Yum.

Starting to work on a big soapstone sculpture. It’s going to be a hand! I love it when I have a group of calm students. It allows me to work on a project with them.

Making delicious pumpkin lasagna.

Visiting Manu’s mum. Making plum dumplings together. A fun afternoon in their kitchen.

A very cosy Sunday. Waking up at 5:30am. Watching Practical Magic in bed. Having a slice of pumpkin lasagna for breakfast. A sudden urge to get out, dressing up to keep out the cold, going out, early, streetlights still on. A walk through the woods. I loved how calm everything was. Being out before all the others had a chance to disturb the stillness with their kids and dogs and bicycles. Making lebkuchen. Lots of pecans. Having a nap. Writing a letter. Drawing weird mushrooms and bugs.

Autumnal smells. The moist smell of the forest ground, mushrooms, the smell of chimneys on a cold Sunday morning. Incense, gingerbread spices. Facial oil with lavender and iris. Roasted pecans.

A crafty day. I made a haunted house, some ghosts, spiders, bats, skulls and pumpkins out of paper.

Schlurp.

Meeting Frank in front of Residenztheater. The whole square was empty, he was the only person there. Waiting for me. Looking up to the opera roof. What an impressive building.

Talking about living life in story mode and action mode. I feel so stuck in action mode at the moment and desperately want to switch to story mode. Fantasy, magic, coincidences and meaning.

Spicy pumpkin recipes in the current issue of Schrot und Korn.

Rice and hazelnut milk as a bedtime treat.

Collecting autumn leaves. Chestnuts, acorns, feathers, beechnuts. Making a little autumnal alter with some crystals.

Thursday mornings. So much time for myself. Lots of tea, warm breakfast.

Treating myself to massages and nice facial creams and serums. Ya Yah is such a gifted person. I love her massages the most. The other day I also got a facial for the first time in many many years. It was nice to be wrapped in an extremely fluffy blanket. When the bright lights were on I could see different colours after closing my eyes and imagined being at a tropical beach. Unintentional ASMR sounds from the rubber gloves. Cosy.

Spicy winter tea in my new thermos bottle. The steam swirling up from my favourite mug (the moon phase mug I bough in Canada).

Buying cheap sparkly stickers, washi tape and stamps. Just because.

Pecan nuts are the BEST. Crazy delicious.

Porridge with coconut milk and mango for breakfast. Persimmons. Candles in the morning.

Gloomy twilight. The dark hour right before sunset/sunrise. Spooky black silhouettes against the ink blue or greyish white sky. Fairy lights. Memories of spending Halloween at Greyfriar’s Kirkyard in Edinburgh.

Finding yet another woolly hat for my collection. This time with pheasants.

Deltavenus’ Instagram feed.

Cutting open a fresh lime.

Happily singing along to my two favourite mantras (Jai Mata Kali / Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha) while making apple galette. Trying to harmonise in different ways.

A very surprising call from Claudia. She ended up in my kitchen, drinking half a bottle of wine.

A lovely Sunday with Sash. A walk through the English garden.   Watching the waterfall, falling leaves, backlit by the afternoon sunlight. Haus der Kunst. Getting in for free (art teacher bonus). I really liked the Michael Armitage exhibition and the enormous dyed curtains in the hall. Franz Erhard Walther’s Dust of Stars autobiography was impressive as well. I just ordered the book online; I’m looking forward to reading it. We also had a drink at Goldene Bar and enjoyed a late lunch at Baoz Bar.

Becky leaving me a lovely note and an English magazine on my desk.

Fink’s Knödelstube with Lena and Sash. We had 13 different kinds of dumplings. Heavenly delicious.

I came to realise that mornings are my favourite time of the day. I love gloomy, dark sunrises and my usual productivity highs.

Writing limericks with the kids.

Getting lost in the woods after dark which might not look like a good think at first glance but I uncovered a little secret - some bee hives I had never seen before!

A mild obsession with The Corrs’ song Old Town. I didn’t even know where it came from. It’s not a song I’ve ever actively listened to.

Learning about sesame plants. Another one of those plants I expected to look completely different.

I can smell mushrooms. On Saturday morning I went to the forest again early in the morning and whenever I would get a whiff of mushrooms and look down there they were.

Dog owners wishing me a good morning on my walk. Interestingly only men, the women tend to ignore me.

Wicked! - Modern Art’s Interest in the Occult. Learning about Leonora Carrington.

James’ chameleons in art class. He drew one representing each of his family members. He was the one licking a bat. Bold.

Buying far too many books. But I found out that Naomi Novik just published a new novel about a school of magic. And within two days I came across the writer Ursula K. Le Guin three times so I took it as a sign and got one of her books as well.

Prepare for the Roaring Twenties - The human desire to socialize will survive the pandemic.

A deep talk session with Jonathan about getting old, having children, self-worth, dating, obeying rules.

Finding my favourite pair of jeans on Kleiderkreisel for a fraction of the original price. And a baseball jacket with a Strange Ladies Society print on the back.

A walk in the forest before work. Something I’ve never done before I think. So good for my nerves, really.

The art of decision-making.

Joy praising me for my authoritative voice (effectively making the fifth-graders do what I want).

Decorating the classroom with the fifth-graders. I love my haunted house on the window pane, their lovely spiders, ghosts and bats. I should probably mention that our class mascot is a cute spider named Crawley so we’re all quite into spooky stuff. On the last day before the holidays we all showed up in costumes, played a Halloween quiz, listened to creepy music and I brought some candy, too. Fun!

Meeting the gang on Halloween. Japanese-inspired dinner and a board game.

[quiltwork]

But to go on a weird tangent; That voices book reminds me a whole lot of internal family systems therapy.. WHICH REMINDS ME OF MY (Old??) PARTS I HAD when I was a kid/teen. That I OFTEN ASSOCIATE WITH KINS BECAUSE THAT IS THE BEST WAY I’VE FOUND TO DESCRIBE/SHOW THEM OFF, OKAY??! Don’t make this weird...

So going off of the book’s categorization of voices and the roles of internal families, I’ve summarized my parts to be:

The Queen Bee, Manager. Full of Pride and Self-Justification. Brandy Harrington from Brandy and Mr. Whiskers. This part covers up “weaknesses” of being autistic, learning disabled, domestic violence, emotional neglect, multiple family member abandonment, and child on child sexual abuse. She represents that 11 year old me who tried so hard to fit in and emulate her abusers. All she wanted was to be affirmed, valued and validated.

Same with the other “Queen” Manager lol. Another part full of Pride. This one specifically I held onto at 13 because I just could not get any real discussion going with my mom on why I questioned my sexuality, and I just felt super invalidated so I rebelled as a form of “self care”. The difference between the Queens is one wants to fit in, the other wants to stand out but still be the Best That Ever Was, hahaha. They cover up all the same so-called weaknesses still (ZIM covers up grooming abuse as well), and really just need to both know they’re valued by Jesus, so they can celebrate their strengths instead of using them as a shield.

And this is the final Queen, the Dream Queen Manager. Sawyer from Cats Don’t Dance. Basically the idealized working class woman who finds success eventually after hustling to the max. My teenage dream come true to finally reaching adulthood after the mess of childhood and coming out on Top Better than The Rest. A sort of weird euphoria fever dream of “I can’t wait for my life to start in college and career!” completely disregarding my mental health. Still needs to know she’s loved by God and it’s okay to be disabled, use her strengths instead for her community.

Foreign Exchange Boy, the Manager. Self doubt, self condemning, second guessing. Steven Universe. 15-16 year old victim wearing the disguise of a boy because she hates her body that much by now and wishes she were the opposite, a strong fat boy. This part literally ran on shame in a way that was running away from sexual traumas instead of facing them and accepting them (like all Managers do, basically). This voice reveals our human limitations. Through biblical self awareness, she can hold herself accountable as a girl without striving for the impossible. She can learn to love her body.

Good Girl Nice Girl and/or Runaway. Mihashi Ren. I see them as a mixture of both Manager and Firefighter. Normally people pleasing at the expense of herself, but ready to run somewhere else if things get out of control. This parts been around for as long as I can remember, since my preteens, actually. This part says it’s good to serve others and share in their happiness. 

Being a good kid and meeting my peers’ expectations of a nice girl who would do anything so they wouldn’t leave, and that she could absorb their identities and self esteem. Jesus taught it was good to serve without expecting anything back. You typically won’t, anyway, with the way this part likes to go about it. When she runs, she can run to God’s rest in prayer like in times’ past. He doesn’t grow weary from work that He should want breaks from us. 

The Revolutionary Manager. Dan from Dan Vs. From 16 to 17 as I was still trans, I was absolutely fed up with the world by this point that I snapped. Not that I haven’t before, many parts beg to differ... This voice Resents, Condemns and Controls Others to try to fix the broken world, so they in turn can fix themselves. Real petty stuff, but funny in a cartoon. The good thing this part means to say is it’s good to look out for your neighbor, esp if they’re on a harmful path. Jesus shows how He challenged others without forcing them to be like Him, but to forgive and trust their lives in the Father’s hands.

The Lovesick Love Interest Manager. Yuno Gasai. I didn’t know there was a character who could so accurately describe a part, and her show came out a year after this part took over, so there were no influences. At 14-15 years old, I developed love addiction for this girl and convinced her to date me so I could stave off suicidal thoughts from my emotional neglect and abandonment. She’d cheat, me being immature thinking she was too cowardly to tell them to leave her alone, I’d fight off boys at every turn.

Exalting myself to prove my worth, people pleasing her to keep her around and have an identity and self worth, and overcorrecting and fighting rivals to keep the relationship safe. All in the game of covering up the sexual abuse, grooming abuse and neglect which lead to this. Eventually when I lost her due to putting up boundaries after saying yes to too many things I didn’t truly agree to, this Manager slowly faded into the Revolutionary. Whoops. Jesus still sees and loves her in her weaknesses, she doesn’t have to earn His love because He stays anyway, and He doesn’t have favorites.

A Manager I don’t have a kin for. Mute was silent in public. Schools and everywhere else, she kept quiet to avoid ridicule and rejection. Exalts Others by fading into the background. Wishes she could make friends, but can’t out of fear. Assumes she’s in good standing and is noticed already for it, but is instead ignored or denied a personality. This voice says it’s good to listen more than quickly speak. God sees me and wants to be my friend. Nothing I do could surprise Him enough to give up on me.

We’re onto the Firefighters. This is Ghost. A couple times during toddler years, once during my preteens, Ghost’s dissociation was a mainstay at 13 onwards. Sometimes floating around causing chaos without realizing it, for me to come to and be horrified at the awkward consequences. Because of outside or inside stress, she zones out somewhere. 

She held back traumatic memories with amnesia, as well. This response is a God given pain medication and sedative, but during inopportune times, we need to dance, stomp our feet, feel textures, notice colors and food tastes to wake up. Or remember something funny or lovely from nostalgia if emotionally numb, too. 

The others I don’t have kins for. I can only describe them. Bingey feels the worlds out of control, so she overeats to calm down. I may not be able to control what the world does, but I am accountable to how much food I take in. I make our meals every 4 hours with snacks in-between. I’ve found I love cooking, and it’s okay to enjoy life’s pleasures in moderation. Daydream jumps on dissociation wagon by hanging out in the bedroom all day to go to another fantasy world. This voice shows us it’s okay to have dreams and be in awe of God’s creation. He has a hopeful future for us that we’ll love and we can worship Him for His work, instead of escaping into illusions and never going outside.

Itch is the unaware self harmer. Skin picking. Whenever stressed, here it comes. This voice reminds me that we need care. Like a toddler crying and tugging on our clothes for help and love. Gently redirect the Itch somewhere else to take care of the child underneath.

There’s Masochist. Self harmer who uses sex. Born out of shame, sexual traumas, family dynamics. Masochist loves to bully “weaknesses” like being too skinny, eating too much, having a female body, being a sexual object, being stupid. Feeds on rape fantasies by themselves or showing up to keep relationships safe when I don’t feel like being intimate with others. But in Jesus, I can love myself for my weight, sex, and disabilities because He does and He made me this way. He shows me I can be sexually pure in marriage with a godly man who loves me for me. If marriage is not destined, I’m still okay with God. 

Finally, Student is the workaholic perfect kid to deflect attention away from obvious dysfunctional family dynamics, so nothing worse happens in foster homes. Born from domestic violence, school torture and seclusion, training and brainwashing beliefs of internalized ableism and masking, and the idea from family to never tell the truth about home life. There’s nothing wrong with working, but we can’t be perfect or hide everything forever. I can work for God and tell Him the truth without fear of tragedy.