#so many little moments of them just being totally in sync i love them your honor

[stbot]

♡judgmental girlfriends♡ 

[ifonlyitwasmidnight]

❤️ Midnight Follow Event!! ❤️

Tokyo Revengers

If it Fits, it Ships (there’s way too many to choose from and i love this concept anyway!)

One Shot Friends to Lovers (total sucker for this type of fic 🥹)

"Stop looking at me with those eyes."

You can certainly do a mix of SFW and NSFW

Love your writing muah muah xoxo

Oh, hello! Your sweet words are gonna make me bluuuush. Stahhhp.

Thank you for being so patient while I got to this. I didn't expect it to stay as soft as it did, but it begged me to. It felt right for who I felt speaking through them.

But if you want a NSFW version, lemme know. I got'chu.

Inspiration: Sweet boys Kazutora and Chifuyu.

As always, though, if it fits for you and your favorite, then it ships.

Word count: 930

Gender Neutral x Tokyo Rev fav.

For years you had this feeling of being so content around him. 

The silence was never too much or too little. There was never any pressure to be any more or any less. A simple existence that made sense. 

It was something you had so rarely experienced before he came along that, even now, the feeling was alien and sat heavy upon you, enveloping you in a warmth that your body yearned to lean into on more than one occasion, refusing the call no matter how much your heart pulled the strings attached to it. 

Years of growing together and learning. School-age teasing and fun turned into teasing from others as you both denied your feelings, the thought “abhorrent.” Confusion swirled as you wondered how you two had managed to find each other at such a young age more than once over the years as you had grown. 

He was your friend. Your confidant. Your steady constant. In tune with your needs before you could acknowledge that they were there.

How could you possibly have feelings for him?

But how could you not?

Every movement you made, he was a mirror, perfectly in sync.

Each laugh and smile he pulled from you was music, the perfect song he could play on repeat until the end of time. 

Late-night phone calls after nightmares with no questions asked. 

2 A.M. sneak outs to sit on the roof until your parents had finally caught you. 

“At least it’s just him,” or, “You’re not in trouble because it’s them. But stop going out so late!”

College had been harder, being further apart from each other. Nevertheless, each hug was precious to you both, clinging a little harder before being forced apart once more. 

The rest of your friends would roll their eyes when you both still, years later, denied with your whole soul that nothing was going on. 

That you were friends.

But friends don’t have thoughts of the other, holding them close and brushing hair from their face, looking upon their true flame with admiration, begging for their lips to be pressed against the others. 

Friends don’t lay awake in bed, wishing they would have finally just grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together as you walked down the street, absorbing the world's life together. 

But what if…?

The night was cold as you stood together on a bridge overlooking the expanse of the city. You shivered as a blast of wind swirled around you. The thin jacket you had worn did nothing to protect you from the elements. When he peeled off his own and draped it over your shoulders, he silenced you with a gentle shake of his head. You knew he would say he always runs warm. You also knew he would sprint to the shower when he got home, setting the water to scolding in an attempt to unfreeze his bones.

A couple below you caught your eye, and a pining shot through you at the sight of their lips touching. You felt wrong encroaching on their private moment. Did they start as friends? Growing to trust and care for each other on a deeper level than most. Did they stand together on a bridge like you and him, longing for the other before either could admit it out loud?

You looked away, further down the street, finally giving them the privacy they deserved. You felt a hand brush gently against your own and looked up to find him standing closer than expected. The shuttered intake of your breath was caught in your chest. His eyes bounced between yours, lost in their beauty, enthralled in the universe that captivated him whenever he caught you like this. Vulnerable only for him. Walls you kept around your heart falling for just a moment so he can see beyond them. 

“Stop looking at me with those eyes.” The words were whispered into the shrinking space between you. 

“What eyes?” The smirk you so adored pulling at the corner of his mouth. 

“Like you want to kiss me.” The words were said so quietly, so gently, but from years of listening to your lyrical speech, it was all he could hear. The noise from the world drowned out. All laughter and honking of horns silenced as he committed every word from your plush lips to memory to replay over and over in moments when he would be alone. 

“And what if I do?” 

His words made your heart skip. A physical feeling of it stopping and kick-starting once more, settling deep into your marrow, mixing with your being. The gentle crimson glow that was your feelings for him stroked to life as a brilliant cobalt, dancing within you as his oxygen fed the flames.

“Then do it.”

The words had barely escaped you before his chilled hand was on your cheek, tilting you back just enough to press his lips against yours. His lips were a hot contrast to his flesh, molding to yours as if they were meant to be there, forever waiting for the moment they would find where they belonged.

Time was nothing—frozen around you as he held you close. The earth stilled for this moment; all moments you had experienced together and apart led you here, to the precise time when you could fall into each other. 

“Be mine.” It was a command whispered against you—words he held in for longer than he could remember. 

Your forehead rested against his, fingers traveling up the back of his neck, desperate for more of his touch. 

“I always was.”

My requests for the event are still open for a few more days. The post is linked on my page!

Tag list: @awkwardchick87 @fubukinorris

[sunshine-vx]

Submas Pokémon Fanfic;

Across Space, Time and Dreams (ASTaD) (Prologue, Ch. 1)

(Blankshippers DNI)

(Important note: On this first chapter, there will be a complete list of possible triggers right below this. On each individual chapter, there will also be chapter-specific trigger warnings.)

(CWs/TWs for this fic: grief, mental breakdowns, depression (it does get better but yeah shshshs), hospitalization, symptoms mention, injury, blood, near-death, emetophobia (no actually throwing up, but feeling like one might), technical crime (non-malicious and no one is hurt, but it still breaks the law), police encounter/near arrest (no one is actually arrested, but nearly), Pokémon moves used on humans (there is a scene where a few people are encased in Psychic and put to sleep by Hypnosis. It's non-malicious and no one is hurt, but some may still find it unnerving))

(Some general information abt the fic!: So I've decided that I want to post my Pokémon fanfic on Tumblr on an actual Tumblr post instead of a Google Doc lol, although I'll still keep the posts where I have it in a Doc up. So this is just gonna be the fic but actually on Tumblr! Last time I updated my fic I was at 5 chapters, and this time we're up to 7! :])

(If yall are feeling up to it, I'd love to hear yalls thoughts or any feedback! Also, reblogs are appreciated! (No pressure tho, ofc))

(Also, before anything else; I want to thank and give credit to my awesome sister @moonlightalpha666 ! She really wanted to help with the fic and has drawn some of the illustrations for this fic and will continue to draw more (so far they've drawn illustrations for chapters 4 and 5)! They are very talented and did amazing with said illustrations! Go check out their page and give them a follow if you'd like, they're like the official helper of this fic lol!)

(Some extra notes: may or may not have these at the beginning of each chapter so I can briefly say anything that I want to say about the fic. For now, I'll just say, one that this fic is ongoing, and CWs may be updated as it goes on, and two, I miiight post this fic on Ao3 later on, I'm unsure, but if I do, I'll make a post saying I did. Also, just saying that this fic isn't going to have a bunch of insane plot twists. It's more character-driven, so if that's not your thing, then that's totally fine (that's not to say there's nothing interesting lmao. I think there is). I just thought I'd say this so I don't end up disappointing anyone.)

(Read it on Ao3 here!)

(Reblogs are appreciated!)

(All that being said, enjoy! :D)

-

Prologue

Two people.

Born together, raised together, left the nest together.

Two brilliant minds, two hearts of gold, two flames of passion that could burn the fire back.

And they were a team, in sync, inseparable.

And yet the impossible deed had somehow been done.

And that's when things started to change.

Chapter 1

((This chapter's illustration by me!))

The dreams had begun to become even stranger now.

Emmet had been having this recurring dream ever since his twin brother, Ingo, disappeared. At first Emmet didn't even get much sleep. Some nights were still that way. He didn't have the dream too often. In fact, it seemed a little strange he didn't have the dream more, considering the thought of Ingo was almost always at least in the back of his head.

The first time he dreamed it, it went like this; he was in a void, completely dark and empty. There was a floor beneath him, although he could not see it. He would call out to see if anyone would respond. Nothing. Until a moment later, he'd hear Ingo's voice. Except it was panicked. Confused. 

Emmet would turn in the voice's direction to see his brother. Emmet would desperately run to Ingo, attempting to embrace him with a tight hug of relief.

But he'd phase right through.

Many times, Ingo would seemingly be far away in one way or another, or shrouded in darkness, but Emmet could always see him, if only a little. 

Emmet would continue to try and get Ingo's attention. Waving his hands, trying to shake Ingo by the shoulder, even just screaming. Sometimes Emmet would have his Pokémon with him, and he'd try desperately to show them to Ingo.

But to no avail.

Sometimes Emmet would swear he saw Ingo notice the presence of him or the Pokémon, if only for a second before being unable to sense them again. He'd look surprised, almost relieved, but then would sink back into a state of confusion and weariness. 

It pained Emmet to his very core. 

Except over time, Ingo's behavior, and even appearance would..change. At some point he had grown facial hair. Then he had acquired a strange shirt under his uniform with a peculiar symbol on it.

He never did take his uniform off, though. Over time, it became worn. Emmet was confused and scared. What was going on?

When Ingo first went missing, Emmet wasted no time not looking for his brother. He easily surpassed the police in their investigation, and yet– nothing. Eventually, the investigation began wavering in effort. But Emmet's pace did not slow.

For months, he searched, desperate. He ended up going to concerning lengths to find just anything. Any hope of a lead.

Anything at all.

At one point, Emmet's health began degrading.

It took him being put in the hospital to realize he would have to hit the brakes, and try and start living more like he did before again.

But that would be difficult. Unspeakably difficult. 

When he was awake, Emmet had a few main objectives; go to work, care for his Pokémon, and attend to smaller matters, usually something the mayor or his friends alerted him of. But mainly do what he'd usually do. Always the same. 

He'd work as long as he could, even if it meant resorting to rather boring tasks like sweeping the floor. 

When Emmet had first tried to go back to the Subway System, he had to be let in by himself a few times while it was shut down. To get used to it. Otherwise, he'd be crying in front of everyone.

But even without Ingo, he loved the Subway System too much to abandon it. 

But running it by himself, although he did indeed love doing it, it would never be the same. There would always be a feeling of loneliness and longing. Emmet supposed that's how things would have to be. For now.

When it came to battling, the obvious issue of multi battles arose. When Emmet was asked if he wanted to remove multi battles, he refused. He liked those battles a lot, after all.

But when a few of his friends offered to try and be his new battle companion, it never went well. They would set up a practice round, and every time Emmet could never get past even 2 turns without breaking down. He'd run out of the room in tears. He'd curl up his hands in anger. He'd run out of breath due to an anxiety attack. 

Eventually, after a long time of multi-battles being a bit different due to Emmet's absence, Emmet was able to get used to Elesa being his new battle partner. It wouldn't be near the same as Ingo, but it would do. He was grateful for Elesa's support, and the support of many others. Emmet and Elesa messed up a lot at first. He expected Ingo to be there giving commands; Elesa's battle style was different. Emmet and Elesa weren't as in sync as Emmet and Ingo had always been, but they still made a good team.

Emmet enjoyed it, even if the loneliness would still always be there.

Emmet sometimes did single battles as well, which were also hard to adjust to, although he did enjoy them, too. Although the loneliness was present there, too. 

He preferred double battles.

The loneliness, sadness, and other emotions followed Emmet at home, too.

Ingo's disappearance affected Emmet and Ingo's Pokémon, too. They thankfully also still found enjoyment in things like battling and other activities, but still had those feelings of emptiness and loneliness. They thankfully understood Emmet's situation, and Emmet understood theirs. Even if some of their own behaviors weren't their favorites, they understood and tried their best to help each other retain a somewhat normal life, and Emmet always did his best to treat the Pokémon with care, as they tried to lift his spirits. 

Of course, Emmet and the Pokémon had recovered some over time. The painful loneliness, the grief, would always be there; but it had gotten better compared to the beginning. As better as they could be.

Emmet and the Pokémon were their own individuals, after all. Despite everything, Emmet and the Pokémon had their good moments, their moments of peace. They had their coping mechanisms and support systems.

Overall, life was now less difficult to live, with its good things to offer, even if they still struggled.

At first it felt like betrayal, but Emmet knew it was what they needed.

What Ingo would want. 

Even so, Ingo had been a part of them. So when he had been lost, they had lost a part of themselves. 

They supposed they'd have to function without that piece; until they found Ingo, of course. They still wanted to find him. 

They hoped they could.

And on especially long days before bed, Emmet would pick up his phone, and dial Ingo's number. 

"Hello, my name is Ingo! I am unfortunately unable to speak with you at the moment, but do leave a message, and I will gladly speak to you when I can!"

Emmet waited for the sound cue so he could speak.

Beep

"Hello, brother. I am Emmet. I am just calling to say I love you. The Pokémon want you to know they love you, too. Perform your safety checks. Goodnight."

Click

-

The other day, Emmet's friend Elesa offered to take Emmet on a trip to the region Sinnoh. She thought Emmet really needed a break from his work, even though he insisted he didn't.

Eventually though, Elesa somehow was able to get Emmet on a plane to Sinnoh, and after landing, he swore that now, in his dream, Ingo had been able to notice his presence more often, even if he would lose the grip. Even more so, Chandelure was acting erratically. When Emmet would ask what was up, it would just insist there was somewhere in Sinnoh they needed to be, but it didn't know where. Emmet felt like it was a wise decision to listen to Chandelure, at least. The Subway Boss felt as if something...important, was going on. Emmet's determination to figure something out was stronger than it had been for a long time.

Chapter 2

[sukirichi]

like crashing waves

Love comes to you like waves crashing upon one another.

REQUEST. mutual pining au + best friends to lovers + breeding kink 

CONTENT/WARNINGS. beach sex, unprotected sex, fingering, titty sucking, smut, nanami being a sweetheart <3 + the mandatory unedited note!

NOTES. thank you for requesting and joining the milestone event! I hope you like this <3

Your squeals echo as you run out of the car, arms flinging behind you with your best friend, Nanami, trailing behind you. His brows furrow upon seeing the familiar scenery of a light ultramarine sky, the sound of crashing waves calming upon his senses. His gaze falls on your waving form, figure jumping from the sand as you call out to him. Your smile is a lot brighter than the sun right behind you, and captivated, he follows your motions, his hands falling into the spaces between yours before allowing you to tug him closer to the beach.

“You brought me here,” he announces a little dazed, subconsciously gripping your hand tighter. “You remembered.”

“Of course I did!”

This isn’t just some regular beach. This is the place where the two of you first met when you were both little, awkward stubby legs running around the sand and scooping sand castles. As always, Nanami’s been more of a timid child, frowning at how you splashed on the water, uninterested with simpler tasks like the one he’s busy with.

When you see him silently enjoying himself, you trudge up to him. His hands immediately come up to protect his castle, having had his other friend Satoru kick and destroy them one too many times.

He’s surprised when you only gasp in awe, carrying your own plastic shovel and helping him build a bigger one afterwards. Your connection was natural – instantaneous.

Everything goes downhill from there. Despite living in another town, your family kept close contact, leading to you enrolling into Nanami’s middle school and staying solid all the way until he has to go attend Jujutsu High. He’s made it clear that he wishes to not be too attached to anyone or even get a wife, firm in his belief that he doesn’t want to hurt anyone by leaving a loved one behind. You, though? He makes an exception for you.

You’re his best friend and everything more, the one who pulled him away from being a salary man and telling him he could be capable of doing something wore instead of just fattening his bosses up while he does all the hard and honest work.

Nanami isn’t...cynical, per se, but he has a painfully honest outlook in his life while you’re more of the type to enjoy the little things, claiming that it’s never a sin to be happy despite the darkness looming. He’s been so used to you being a lot brighter and more cheerful than him, total opposites, really, that when the tables have turned and you’re the one holding his face as you scold him to save people and be the hero he is, he can’t really find it in himself to refuse.

Until now, he’s surprised you’re taking his profession extremely well. You never once blinked when he told you about his abilities and even takes away a fly head off your shoulder once, jumping in his arms instead to thank him.

He wonders how he ever came lucky enough to find someone like you, one that he actually cherishes more than he values the rules he’s set to keep himself in line.

Nanami doesn’t get the chance to think any more when you start stripping in front of him, your bubbling laughter syncing perfectly with the lapping of waves when you fling your clothes at him. He regrets ever letting you meet Gojo; you’re naughty, but never this pressing. His glare is half hearted as you run straight to the beach, however, and the blond man sighs.

His birthday was planned perfectly down to a tee. He’ll invite you over to celebrate, spend the silence and read books with you, have coffee, cuddle, and call it a day.

You had other plans in mind the moment you barged into his room though, dragging and pushing your friend all the way inside your car. His queries are silenced by the blasting radio, the man leaning back in his seat as his fingers tap against his thigh, wondering what you had in mind. There’s never really any telling with you and your spontaneous habits, so he just closes his eyes, allowing his blond hair to be swept away by the wind.

The last thing his wildest dreams could ever imagine is you taking him right back where everything started, his hands deft and careful as he unbuckles his belt. His cheeks tints a little because you never gave him the chance to pack, save for you throwing in hoodies and random underwear into a duffel bag.

Nanami folds both your clothes on the sand, shivering a bit from the chilly liquid. He glares at you once more with a tired sigh, about to ask how you have so much energy after driving for four hours straight when you splash water on him.

He is silent in comparison to your mocking laughter, waddling all around him until you’re whisking the water at every direction of his body.

Nanami stands there still like a statue, eyes closed to prevent the saltwater from hurting him, his hair sticking to his skin. His muscles are tense the whole while, preventing himself from just reaching over – not yet, anyway – for you were still too far away. But your guard is lowered, forgetting for a moment that your best friend is a jujutsu sorcerer and he’s spent years honing his senses until he’s mastered them to the extremity of his capabilities.

As your laughter grows closer, the splashing turning harder as it pads against his skin, Nanami opens his eyes and grabs you by your wrist hard.

You let out an ‘oop’ when he effortlessly pulls you into his chest, your forehead knocking against the solid muscles of his chest. “Ow!” you rub your forehead, lips formed into a pout and about to complain when your eyes snap wide open, the first thing in sight his pecs. Clearing your throat, you try to push yourself off him, suddenly completely aware of his warmth and his other hand sliding down your hip, lower, lower, and lower. “Nanami—”

“Having fun?”

His voice is low, a tinge of warning behind his words. Guiltily, you glance down at your wrist wrapped around his large, bony hand, noting the size and strength difference between the both of you.

You don’t want him to see you’re flustered – even if it’s painfully obvious already – so you snicker up at him, tilting your jaw upwards until he’s looking down straight at you. Nanami cocks an eyebrow in challenge, awaiting what snarky response would leave your lips when you smirk, using your free arm to splash on him one more time.

Nanami reels back when the water shoots straight in his eyes. Okay, you have to admit that maybe that was a little mean, but you’re having so much –

You’re immediately hoisted up into his arms, the water sliding off your body and the ground slipping off your feet. Panic rises in your system when you’re lifted off the seafloor, hands desperate and slippery as you cling onto his broad shoulders. “N-Nanami!” you protest, clinging to him like a koala when he only smirks, walking farther until he’s reached a spot he knows you can’t reach. “Hey, that’s cheating, put me down this instant!”

“Do you really want me to do that?”

Nanami knows you’ve surrendered to loss when you huff, leaving you with no choice but to wrap your legs around him tighter, nails subconsciously gliding down his back. He stiffens at your movements, brows furrowed as he ponders if bringing you here and rendering you helpless really is the best idea.

You’re pressed so close to him until space becomes nothing but a myth, your breathy intake of air wafting into his ear like bait. Nanami tightens his hold on your grip a bit, his swallowing audible at the feeling of your breasts pushed and flicking against his chest.

Fuck, of course you’re wearing your best bikini.

Nanami tries to push those lewd thoughts at the back of his head, drilling into his mind that you’re his best friend and you’re untouchable. He opts to stare beyond the horizon instead, train of thought too distracted of not letting himself be distracted by you that he doesn’t notice you pulling away to look at him.

He’s brought back to life when your wet palm caresses his cheek, thumbs smoothed over his cheeks. Nanami’s gaze flickers back to you, a sigh on his lips as he presses closer, daunting enough to leave a kiss on the crook of your palm.

That snaps something inside you.

You take his breath away – literally – as you cup his cheeks with both his hands, panting as you dove straight to his lips. Nanami’s reaction comes like reflex, both hands cupped under your ass as he meets your kiss with the same hunger and longing that has always been blossoming between the both of you the moment you both knew what love meant like.

Nanami’s groans are masculine and low when you begin to grind down on him, teasing as you push your breasts harder against his chest. Your nipples are hard enough that he feels the pebbled buds grazing across his chest, the sensation sending blood rushing to his cock.

He pulls away, cock swelling harder when he sees you all breathless with lips bruised. There’s something about knowing he’s the cause of you nearly falling apart like this, his mind wandering off a dangerous path at the fantasy of what you’d look like if he does something more.

The voice at the back of his head is responsible to keep him in his reigns, something he’s more than thankful of; otherwise he’ll completely ravage you senselessly at this moment.

“Do you really want our first time together to be out here in the open?” he rasps with short, quick pecks while you whine in his arms, the desire for that something more an aching and almost painful image on your face. “Won’t you like it more if we’re behind closed doors...” he brushes a thumb on your lip, coaxing your lips to part for him obediently. Nanami clenches his jaw when you eagerly suck at his thumb, your eyes dark and hazy with lust as you swirl your tongue around his digits. “...and I’d get to do whatever I want with you?”

“Are you going to hold back if we’re here?” you tease, popping his thumb off with a loud and wet pop. “It’s kind of romantic, don’t you think? The sun is setting behind us and it’s just the two of us anyway,” your words are breathy, panted and needy in its manner of delivery. Really, you can’t think straight anymore, not when his fingers are grazing over the swell of your ass and his face is bathed by the golden glow. Right now is perfect. “I just really want to be with you.”

You shudder when Nanami finally tugs your underwear to the side, the feeling of his fingers smoothing over your inner thighs and just hovering right where you want him to be enough to make you go crazy. You’re shaking, panting, almost crying.

Who knows how long you’ve wanted him – you’re simply too impatient if he plans to take his time with you.

A demand is ready to fall from your lips to just get him to take you already, but Nanami beats you to it, his pointer finger grazing against your slit. “I’m not going anywhere,” he promises, gritting his teeth the moment his thick, long finger sinks into you beautifully. Your head falls back in a moan as he pumps his fingers inside, testing the waters, and your pleasure is only amplified with the struggle of him trying to quicken his pace under the sea. “You’re so wet already.”

“Shut up, I-I wasn’t—”

“You’re beautiful,” Nanami growls, taking you by surprise when he takes two fingers to spring the knots of your top away. You gasp when your top slides off at the curve off your breasts before your erect nipples are revealed all for him, hard and swollen while he inserts another finger in your heat.

Clutching harder on his shoulders and bouncing yourself off on his finger, Nanami’s self control is tethering dangerously across the edge.

He leans down to suck at your breasts dutifully, fighting against the water that’s surrounding you both. “You’re extremely beautiful,” he praises, “Thank you – for letting me have you this way, for trusting me,” An elongated groan falls from both your lips when he sinks you down on his cock, your heat a great and mind-numbing contrast to the chill of the water. “I think you’re the best birthday gift.”

“Always so romantic, Nanami,” you managed through a laugh, allowing him to fuck into you senselessly. You’re all over him, hands wrapped around his neck, fingers tugging at his hair and tongue swiping out to taste the saltiness of the water on his skin. He’s amazing, so fucking good, and you snap your eyes shut while the soft, crashing waves match the rhythm of his thrusts. “No one could blame me for falling for you.”

“You are?” he grasps your ass until he squeezes it hard enough to make your walls clamp down on him, your grunting muffled by the teeth nibbling his earlobe. “Do you love me?”

“For so long.”

Nanami smiles even if you can’t see it, but it doesn’t matter. He’ll just have to show you, make you feel the words and emotions weighing heavily at his heart. Nanami leans sideways to capture your lips in a wet kiss, hands heavy and harsh compared to his passionate kisses as he keeps bouncing you up and down his cock. He’ll just have to show you.

“I’ll make up for the lost time then.”

You’re wearing your favourite hoodie of Nanami’s as you stand before the counter, stirring both mugs with your hands wrapped around it to warm you up. After your lovemaking session that has turned into more than two rounds, you’re downright spent, the both of you too tired to drive back home and opting for a hotel instead.

The aroma of coffee along with Nanami’s scent lingering on his clothes brings a smile to your face, your heart and skin still fluttery from today’s event.

Just then, strong arms wrap around your waist, soft lips coming down to press at the apples of your cheeks. You giggle in his arms as Nanami sways you both side to side, his head resting on your shoulder.

“I love you,” he announces quietly, so softly and tenderly as if it’s a secret only you’re allowed to know. You already became aware of his feelings – he’s shown it enough – but hearing it come from his own lips feels different.

Growing up, you always believed that love would come to you rapidly, overwhelmingly. But as Nanami swoops down to kiss you once more, his lips tasting faintly of the cake you both got on the way, you realize love is more like the soft crashing waves that comes gradually, slowly, yet constantly until you’re surrounded and it consumes you whole. It buds and grows larger until the crashing waves expand into an ocean of feelings that can’t even comprehend the depth of what you feel him, and you kiss him hard, embrace him hard – you just want to show him.

[muffindaddystyles]

Keep holding my hand.

Harry was in an emotionally abusive relationship before y/n, something happens that makes his insecurities float back.

Impetuous reel of dithery thoughts rapidly bustles on the wall, Harry stares at it blankly – he stares and stares and stares ..... yet it does nothing for what he wishes.

His stomach fills with acid and his mouth burns with foulness with each painful beat his heart gives realizing maybe this's the end ---- he doesn’t spare a glance to the dinner wafting off he cooked with much happiness looking forward to tonight.

Where did I went wrong?

Did I hurt her in any way? What if she didn’t like me popping up at her studio that day to remind her of tonight

Well Keat didn’t like it ..... She used to hate it Infact,

No! She’s not like keat —--

But, then why isn’t she picking your phone? She knew, promised and she still didn’t came tonight?

What if she’s sick? Fuck, then I should go to her.

He shuts his screaming conscience down, shoving the heels of his palm against his pop-sockets wearily to make him feel something --- to escape the hurt that’s looming around him, crushing and squeezing him to death.

He blows off the candles, melted to their base from being sorrowfully lit from three hours atleast --- mocking him and his sincerity.

You deserve this.

Why did y’think ye' deserved anybody’s love?

She doesn’t love you anymore --- just like keat....

The corners of his glossy eyes prickles with pearly tears and it drops down his clavicles, with blurry vision he dials her one last time and it goes straight to her voicemail alike past three hours.

Hiya, Y/N here! Leave a message ‘cos I mighty be busy or maybe lazyin' round the farthest corner of my home .......

He tosses and turns, does it manifold times --- his sleep betrays him too and he’s angry soaring with venom, if he could scream from a cliff and throw stones down the pound furiously he'd instead his eyes runs droopy.

His shuddering breath sulks to tranquillity, all he could hear’s a screech of wind that’s hitting the window and his guts.

His body jerks at the chirp of voice he’s oh so familiar with —- other days he'd be submerging in the honeyness of it but at the moment he bites down his wrist to keep him wrenching his empty stomach out.

“Happy anniversary, bub!” His brows clinches down into a grumblish frown and he presses his hand between his thighs turning his back upon hearing the careful steps treading in.

The creaking stalls and she stands at his doorway with heavy heart, her throat —-- uff her throat feels like as if someone punched it several times.

Not letting her tongue to utter any word —- anything that’d assure him and her, everything’s alright --- it’s not a big deal.

Ofcourse, it is!

Little things matters most to him – told you —- he .. — he told you himself and you hurt him, you hurt him just because you couldn’t stand to your boss.

She wanted it to be perfect for him, for them — winded up the work her boss hoarded on her mercilessly last minute demanding her to wrap it up in an hour --- felt giddy and motivated to do it speedily looking forward to their celebration. Bought his favourite chocolate moose cake standing in the line of his favourite bakery, since he doesn’t like any other flavour.

She stands at the side bed looking down at him, heartbreaking in million pieces seeing him torn, all teary cheeks and this stoic for the first time they’ve been dating.

“’M sorry -- I –- my boss trapped me and – ‘n I really wanted to call you —-- then it took me forever at your favourite bakery, I’m so sorry baby.” She rambles nebbish-ly and catches onto his shoulder when he tries to face away from her.

He mutters, “Forget bout it. Go back home ‘s getting late.” Though, his heart lurches forward to embrace her and shower her in kisses telling her “it’s totally fine.” And that “how bout we celebrate now,” but being an emotionally sensitive person has it's very cons and one of it is requiring space and time to recover for better thinking.

His eyes slips into abyss and he holds back a sniffle when he feels the mattress dip behind him, she sighs, coos in the softest voice she only keeps it for her lover, “Oh baby .... you’re my home.” She's well aware of the anxiety he goes through. He feels like everything crumbling but she's there to catch him and she rubs his back.

The many many reassurances he needs from his lovie to keep going for them, the praises for him for treating her like the most precious daffodil —- because he never got praised before; even though how much of the world’s luxuries he'd lay at his ex's feet was never assured that how much she loves him (because she never did).

Y/N would never want his insecurities to float back and sting his scars, she'd never want him to ever go through from what he did in past —-- to be used like a toy and manipulated, might sound weird and whumpy of her but she’d kill many dragons to keep him protected at any cost.

He sleeps with her body cocooning him from behind and his erratic breath syncs to her calm ones.

..

His dreams full of suffering, void and darkness violently clashing and swirling against eachother as the ugly creature takes Y/N away from him, leaving him in prison of his own pathetic head.

Fear of loss —- he fears loosing her and does it make him toxic? He was snubbed so many times – being told his behaviour was toxic that he’d hesitate before doing anything precisely very fondly caring —- but then Y/N came in his life and she'd tell him how much she appreciates him, how he’s like the best sundae in hot summer and he felt like she’s the sunshine he was waiting for in the never-ending rainy days.

Y/N stirs from her light sleep on hearing the broken whimpers, the valley of her chest moist as he cries into her and she cups his cheeks gazing down at him concerned, “What happened sunny .... baby talk to me ...” Her voice groggy and on verge of tearing.

She sits back a little with him still between her legs and wipes his tears away gently, “I’m so sorry ...” He mumbles –-- eyes bloodshot and she shakes her head pulling him closer, if she’d be able to cradle him in his lap she'd but apparently he’s too big.

Queasy hiccups, “f – fo'--... d —- dou...” sad sniffles and hiccups that tightens his chest.

She tenders his wobbly lip kissing his temple, “shhh. shhh, puppy I should be the one apologising yeah?”

“no .. I didn’t gave another thought before doubting --- that –-- that you’re about to leave, no person in right mind does this – I —-,” His body trembles with blue sobs.

“Harry ...” she tries to gain his attention and when he still doesn’t listen, “I know I don’t deserve y'n – ‘n maybe you don’t want me anymore —--” she raises it a bit, “Harry!” he falls quiet --- nibbling the corner of his cheek to hold back hiccups.

“Look at me puppy, yeah? Shh hold my hand and take a breather.” She smiles. Takes his sweaty hand and aligns his palm to her mouth for a deep kiss – then squeezes it.

“Keep holding it baby, keep holding my hand, you’re going to be fine --- we – see us here,” she points between them with gleamy eyes and he nods timidly wiping his nose with his sweater paw, “we are fine baby –- we are okay..”

How could someone be this dreamy? This gentle and sweet? What did I do to deserve my lovie?

“Better?” She inquires. Little worried that he'll fall back into rabbit hole and tucks his head under her chin, keeping him warm against her chest and he clutches the hem of her shirt nuzzling into her.

“Did you really think, I’d leave you and that on our first year anniversary? Sorry to tell you .... ‘m stitched to your hip for life time, there’s no exchange policy puppy how much you grump.”

She grins. Happy to earn a feeble chuckle from him and scratches his head, looping his curls around her fingers.

“I love you.” She startles when he speaks hoarsely after the longest time and it’s not like he's saying it for the first –-- but it still doesn’t fail to engulf her in warmth, so much of it.

“I love you too, you’re my only puppy and very loved one.” His eyes crinkles prettily at that and she kisses the tip of his nose.

“You want to rest? We could eat the dinner you dearly made for me and oh we got moose cake in fridge too, what a coincidence!” She giggles. The room fills with wet treacly noises of smoochy kisses she’s patching on his cheeks and his jaw.

Without a word he holds her finger and leads her to kitchen, she creates proud noises of “ooh!” and “ahh!” trying to sneak a glimpse from over his shoulder but he'd shoo her away as he heats the food; she gets out gorgeous smiles from him she cherishes so much.

“You did all of this for me?” She gasps sweetly, hand over heart to accentuate the love she's feeling and walks towards him when he nods timidly rubbing his socks feetsies one over the other.

His cheeks blazes peach and she giggles pinching them, “You’re so cute aren’t you?”

“Okay then. Let’s eat!” she claps her hands together and pecks his lips before pulling her chair beside him rather than opposite to him and his heart flutters at that --- each pore oozing with deep love for her and every insecurity and anxious ideas completely drains out of him when she pats his seat and wiggles in her own --- anticipated to taste what he made.

“Hmm. This tastes so good, H! Your hands are really magical, huh?” She passes him a smirk pecking each of his knuckle to make him feel better about himself and his lips quirks up softly, “Thank you – d’ya w'na umm eat the moose here o'in bed?” Her face beams at that, him speaking more than two words and looking forward to spend the night with her.

“On bed, please –-- would you like tea? Think ‘m running out of if —- proper jello ....” She cleans the table and raises her brows when he gazes her adorningly as she’s the nymphs of stary oceans.

He shakes his head, nose twitchy as she nudges him teasingly and he takes her off-guard --- hugging her by waist and kisses her soft tummy.

“Nothing just love you bleedin’ much.”

..

[shotorozu]

hellooo,, i saw another tiktok video(and since ur like the elite on writing this type of reqs im requesting to you aha) https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJYsk4CY/ for shoto, kaminari and monoma (if u write for him) ty 💕

‘bae lol’

(the greenscreen heart, then kiss tiktok trend)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, kaminari denki, monoma neito (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] for monoma reader’s a part of class 1-A, they/them pronouns used, quirk’s not specific

headcanon type : fluff (x reader)

note(s) : oh, i absolutely love AND hate this trend, it’s mostly bc im single though :,) not like i can get a partner in the pandemic. anyways! i love your thinking, anon <3 also no proofread bc its like,, 2am here </3 will edit later!

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

he’s very aware of your tiktok antics, but out of all of the ones you’ve pulled on him, and asked him to do

he loves this one the most.

because shouto doesn’t have to get the lights scared out of him, and it doesn’t have a chance in ending terribly.

you brisk towards your room, knowing that shouto rests inside— “shou!” you call out to him, and he tilts his head up

“Y/N, tell me it’s not—”

“no, i swear!” you drop next to him on the bed, and you play the video. “this would be fun to do, right?”

he doesn’t say anything at first, but he definitely wants to do it, judging by the fact that he’s replaying the tiktok over and over again.

abruptly standing up, he tugs at your wrist “let’s do it.” he says with determination hinted in his voice

you’d think that he’d get the hang of doing tiktoks because of you but LMAO NO— the greenscreen failed you both multiple times in a span of 40 minutes.

the first take, the heart was blurry, the second take, the kiss was captured seconds before the kiss, and the third take— your phone fell 💀

plus, his movements were a little stiff the first few times, but after the third try— he definitely got the hang of it.

and,, he doesn’t understand tiktok effects, not even the slightest.

on the brighter note, he has more excuses to kiss you so,, it’s a win for him! he won’t get sick of doing any retakes :))

you knew the moment he focused on making the perfect heart, as he firmly pulled you close to kiss you

that, would be the perfect shot there. he almost forgot that there was a camera recording

shouto is seen replaying the filmed tiktok over and over again— and it might’ve looked odd to anyone else

but not to you, definitely. for you, it’s the norm to see him like that.

“do more trends where i could kiss you more.” he pecks you on the lips, before he leaves you be temporarily only to edit the tiktok, ofc

the tiktok itself blows up by a ton, gathering 2M likes, and 5M views, in a surprising amount of time, and you didn’t even notice how he placed his hand on your hip

until the comments pointed it out to him. which shouto replies with “i always do that. you just didn’t seem to notice.” it’s fine bc you do now

the comments consisted of “where can i find a guy like this 💔” “haha that’s so cool *blocks*” “okay but we sEE THOSE HANDS 👀”

nonetheless— please do more trends like that with him. don’t be afraid!

shouto rates the entire ordeal a ♾/10. can and will do it again. oh— and he saves his home and lockscreen as the final outcome from the tiktok. he did a screenshot it, and decides to keep it like that for a very long time

kaminari denki

again— this man is ALWAYS on tiktok, so he’s aware of most of the trends there. but that doesn’t make them any less scarier

but oh wow, he loves this trend. denki was just praying that you’d see it— and ask him to do it with you.

he was grateful that luck was on his side, since he was ecstatic when you skipped over to him— asking him to do a tiktok trend

“oh, what tiktok trend? wait— please tell me it doesn’t involve me breaking up with you for a week so you could listen to drivers licenses—”

“what? no— let me show you” and when you showed him the tiktok, he showed you this cheeky little smirk

“let’s do it! the sooner the better!” he says, and he seems more excited that you 💀

denki’s so enthusiastic, to the point that the first few takes are a total fail— as he makes you fall over your feet, as the result of quickly pulling you onto him for a kiss.

“denki— one of these days, you’re going to shatter my face”

“sorry, sorry!” he grins sheepishly. and it’s a miracle that he didn’t accidentally short circuit!

you guys try again, still persistent in getting at least a decent video, and this time— when he yanked you, causing you almost slip

he tightened his hold on you, a hand pressed against the small of your back and another hand dangerously close to your bank

the kiss is eager, passionate— and he holds you like you’re on the verge of death

and this flusters you because MAMDKWDK what happened to the goofiness 💀 i suppose that’s what happens when you have an eager denki kaminari.

you upload the video, thinking it would only get 5 likes at the very most— but it exceeds your expectations

though most people couldn’t get a clear view of your relationship dynamic with him, denki’s enthusiasm did attract the attention of 2.8M people

and in a good way, because the video did get 800k likes

the comments consisted of “when he caught you when you almost fell :,)” “damn he was EXCITED” “hey, have you told us where you got your boyfriend? i need the link to find someone like him NOW‼️‼️”

the bakusquad fawned over the video weirdly, but it quickly gets overplayed by denki— since that’s all he watched for a week or so 💀

monoma neito

bruh </3 as much as he loves you, you’re going to kill him with pranks one of these days.

he’s totally in on it if HE’S not the one being targeted, but most of the time,, neito’s the subject of your pranks

so he thinks it’s another silly prank, where you make him pick a number between 1-5 and ghost him for that many hours.

but when you show him the video one day, when you guys were chilling in your room— as per usual, he declined :,)

“sorry dear Y/N! but no. that’s my answer”

“but whyyy?? it’s so harmless!”

“the class is going to tease me for being a part with a silly tiktok like that.” and besides,, he’d be a hypocrite for participating in that kind of tiktok with someone from class 1-A.

in reality, he did want to do it. he wasn’t so sure on why he said no— but he does want to show that something so easy isn’t really a bother to him.

“oh- don’t be so sad about it! you know what?” he gently pulls you up, “let’s do it. i don’t care what those silly class 1-A kids will say anymore.”

“what? i thought you said you didn’t want to.”

“have you ever heard of a lie?” he clicks his tongue, but he’s glad that you’re feeling much better than you did 10 seconds ago.

when it comes to it, he’s actually really shy about it. not like a ‘i don’t want to be seen with you!’ more like ‘gosh, how many takes is this going to take? will i be able to kiss them properly?’

“what if i end up accidentally copying their quirk? neito— focus, damnit.” he thinks to himself, brushing the anxious feeling away.

he’s determined enough to stay focused— but man struggled a bit with cooperating with the heart shape.

“neito— not that heart!” “well, you said to make a heart, so i did!”

it takes a few tries for the greenscreen to cooperate, and for you guys to get in sync

and when he finally has to kiss you, he grins at you— a very obvious blush adorning his cheeks, as he smashes his lips with yours

then he remembers that he actually has to break free from you— and forces you guys apart, still trying to play it cool

“wow! i look awesome. only i could kiss you like that, right? i don’t need an answer, because i know it’s true!” he says with that proud laugh of his, but it immediately dissipates after the second replay

neito leaves you be, not only for you to upload the tiktok— but also because he needs to THINK WHAT JUST HAPPENED he’s running laps in his mind rn

you upload the tiktok, not worrying too much about it— as you wanted to let it sit for a while, before checking up on it

however— when you open your phone again, you get bombarded with multiple text messages from kendou, and the other class 1-b students.

“you and monoma went viral!” is what you can sum up about most of the messages, and you have to see for youself— wanting to know if the tiktok really did get 800k likes and 1.9M views in a short amount of time.

spoilers ‼️ — it did

the comments were mostly like “why can i smell the dynamic from a mile away 💔 i want that.” “he’s definitely annoying to everyone but you” “sHEESH the way he smirked before he kissed you 😩✋‼️‼️😔”

monoma flexes on a daily that he did that to your class— but he HATES how class 1-b wrecks havoc on him, by teasing him

in short— he does prefer this more than being scared. and! he didn’t have to verbally ask you for kisses 💀

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[allywritesforfun]

{Confessions} Karl Jacobs x Reader

summary: your favorite director came out with a new movie so Karl invites you over to watch it with him

pronouns: not mentioned

word count: 1910

masterlist

You and Karl have been pretty good friends ever since you moved into the neighborhood. He was one of the first people to welcome you in. You moved from your hometown to find more excitement in your life, and boy did Karl give you the excitement you always wished for.

At first, it was simple gestures of friendship. You baked cookies one day for yourself and had some left over that you packaged up and gave to Karl. You even took the risk of adding your phone number to the basket. To your surprise, he actually called that night to thank you.

Those calls became weekly, to daily, to no calls at all. Instead, you simply went over to his house. You two did easy little things, your favorite was making “neighbor bracelets” which Karl renamed as best friend bracelets. Both of you still wore yours today.

You’ve built a very good relationship with Karl, you both trusted each other with your lives. Both of you had the other's spare key just in case. The neighborhood wasn't sketchy, but life is life and the two of you were prepared to drop everything to help each other out.

Tonight was a special night. You and Karl were super excited about a new movie coming out of Netflix. Karl knew how much you loved the director, so he invited you over. You were ecstatic.

You offered to bring pizza since Karl provided the drinks. After you picked up the pizza, you headed straight to his house. You parked behind his car and welcomed yourself in, you two basically lived together at this point.

“Karl!” You called, “I have the pizza! Where we watching this?”

You heard a voice from downstairs, “I set up the basement to look like a screening room!”

You chuckled to yourself, that was such a Karl thing to do. Karl always went all out on everything he did. That was one thing you admire about him: he always lived his life to the fullest.

You stopped at the kitchen first to drop off your keys and your shoes and picked up some extra napkins, you weren’t the neatest eater.

You made your way carefully down the stairs, step by step. You had a history of being a bit clumsy and may or may not have dropped pasta down the stairs before.

You turned the corner to the right and stopped immediately. The room was beautiful, with an even more beautiful sight in the middle.

Karl really did surprise you this time. When he said he made it look like a ‘screening room’ you thought maybe some aisle lights and very original signs, but no.

The room was completely transformed. Everywhere you looked, you found something new. The first thing you noticed was the amazing set up around the couch. Karl moved the couch to the middle of the room in front of the projector. Above the couch draped satin sheets that made the set up look like it was from a fairy tale. At first you didn't notice the fairy lights spread out on top of the sheet, but it made the perfect touch. Next was a line of squishmallows leading up to the couch. You even laughed at the little outfits Karl put on them to make them look like workers. You followed where the little workers directed, which lead you straight to Karl.

“Surprise!” He jumped, arms wide open.

You set the pizza down on the coffee table in front of the couch. You took another look around and noticed the abundance of blankets that Karl had laid over to the couch to look really cute and really comfortable.

“Karl,” You covered your mouth in awe, “It's just a movie, you didn't need to do all of this!”

He grabbed your sweatshirt and pulled in for a hug, “But I wanted to! You were so excited for this movie and if it ends up being trash then I wanted to make sure there was at least something good about it!”

You put your arms over Karl’s shoulders and leaned into the hug. You always felt safe in his hugs. His hugs were unmatched. They always drained all of the negative energy out and replaced them with safe and secure vibes.

Karl waddled you two over to the couch and he gently set you down. He stayed up and grabbed the remote while you got the pizza ready.

“This was so sweet of you to do,” You told him. “Thank you very much. I think this might be one of my favorite nights with you.”

“That’s good to know, I’ll make sure I do this more often,” Karl laughed, causing you to blush.

You enjoyed every day with Karl and treasured your friendship to the point when you weren't aware of your own feelings for him. You wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with him, but you wouldn't let yourself think in a romantic way. You feared losing due to unlevel feelings. Karl knew so many people around, so why would he pick the new person in town?

You buried your feelings so far down that you blamed your blushing on going down the stairs and getting overheated from it… because that makes total sense. Karl sat down next to you, about a forearm's length away.

“What type of pizza did you get?” Karl asked.

“I wasn't too sure on what I wanted myself, so I got half pepperoni and half sausage,” You answered.

“Oh good! I was feeling both today too, in sync aren't we?” Karl questioned.

You shook your head, “No, you’re obviously way ahead of me!” You made gestures around the room, “I would've never thought of something this beautiful!”

“Not as beautiful as you,” Karl said under his breath.

You heard it loud and clear. Karl gave you these compliments every once and while. But again, you pushed it off to the side and rationalized it by saying that he says it to everyone. You weren’t special or some sort of exception. What you didn't know was that you were the only one that Karl called beautiful. All of his other friends he called ‘pretty’, beautiful was just for you.

Karl started the movie and the opening seemed off. This wasn't the typical comedy that the director normally did, this was a horror movie. You shifted around in your seat.

“Are you alright?” Karl asked.

You nodded, “Yeah, I just assumed it would be a comedy.” It's not that you hated horror, you in fact enjoyed the storyline of most of them over any other category. It was the jump scares and suspense that you hated.

“Did you not watch the trailer? It was pretty obvious by the dark mysterious basement that it was a horror thriller.”

“No I didn't,” You admitted. “It's alright though. I'm sure the director made it one of the better movies.” “Oh my gosh,” Karl turned and made eye contact with you, “You’re scared aren't you?”

You almost forgot to reply by the eye contact. Karl had the best eyes that you’ve seen. They were so vibrant and you always got lost in them, no matter how hard you tried not to, “Pffft. Me? Scared? Nope, never. It's just a fictional movie that happens to have events that could very well happen tonight or at any point in someone’s life.”

“What the honk?” Karl asked. “You are scared! I can already see it in your eyes and movement that you're scared. Here,” He offered his hand, “Take my hand and you can squeeze it when you get scared.”

You gladly took his hand and refocused your attention back on the movie. It was off to an alright start. You could already tell who was going to die and what character would be your favorite. You didn't jump until a door loudly shut in the movie. You slightly yelped and squeezed Karl’s hand.

He laughed and squeezed back, “That made you scared? You’re in for a long movie.”

You shook your head, “It was a loud noise! How did you not jump?”

“I wasn't really paying attention I guess,” Karl admitted. “Your hand is just so soft and I was trying to think about what lotion you use.”

“Oh, I think I put some Bath and Body Works on them before I left. I took a shower and they got pretty dried out.” You were obviously very unaware of Karl trying to flirt with you. This became a regular thing. It was surprising how much Karl was into you. You accidentally rejected him almost every day, yet he never let up.

The movie progressed and got scarier with every scene. The plot really developed and you loved it. You were so caught up in the movie that you didn't even realize that you were laying down in Karl’s arms.

“Are you okay with this?” Karl whispered into your ear.

You didn't realize that he had his hand on your waist, resting on some exposed skin, you nodded back at him, “Yeah, of course.”

You saw Karl’s cheek turn to a dark red hue despite the darkness of the room. You smiled to yourself and leaned more into him, with the excuse, of course, that you thought there was going to be a jump scare.

Karl’s free hand danced his way around to meet yours, which he nonchalantly took. It was a perfect moment for the two of you, even though neither of you knew about your feelings for each other. This was your first time cuddling with him. You absolutely loved it. You loved the fact that you didn't even have to ask, it kinda just naturally happened.

The movie ended and you two stayed in the same position for a while. You talked about the movie which eventually led to telling stories. You let Karl do most of the talking, you enjoyed watching his eyes light up when he told you about his childhood. The only time Karl’s hand left yours was to either fix his hair, or give you head pats.

Both of you ran out of things to say and laid there in comfortable silence. Karl moved his hand up and rubbed your arm for a while, which made you pretty sleepy. You yawned and snuggled into Karl more than you already were.

You felt him lean down and kiss the top of your head, “Y-You know I really like you right?” He asked.

You nodded, “Yeah I would hope so, I’m here like almost every day.”

“No, I mean like- god this sounds childish but I like you, like you,” He confessed. “Like I invite you over all the time and want to hang out as much as I can because you bring me so much happiness and joy. Like, I’m falling really hard for you and I don't think that you picked up on it.”

You sat up in his arms and stared at him, “You’re joking right? Because you’re the only person that I’ve wanted to be with since I moved, but I didn’t think that I had a chance because you’re so sweet and kind, and you know all of these people so I just kind of ignored my feelings because I didn't want to lose what we already have.”

Karl cupped your cheek with his hand, “y/n, you’re the only one that's had a chance.”

[beann-e]

Mha Characters reacting to being hugged randomly by their s/o

Shinso

-shinso would welcome you & your hug & words & then fight you to see who’s better with their words

-i take from his character that he loves winning — no matter if it’s something small or not he’ll act like he doesn’t care for it but won’t stop until he wins

It’s been a hard day he’ll admit.

Today was his first day being around class 1-A — and he could honestly say

they were just as annoying as he thought

Everyone was too quick to welcome him and surround him which just pissed him off

well, apart from the asshole with the red eyes who he refused to keep eye contact with

just bakugous mere presence or even his mouth opening pissed him off

Knowing deku and going off of how they first met when he shoved him out of the arena

showing him yet again that the hero course was not to be messed with

he thought he was prepared to meet the same person only for him to be wrong and walk in to see hero deku and class deku were two different people he was not yet ready to meet

To him hero deku was hardcore and fight fight fight

class deku was a loser

a loser who got bullied , fell on the stairs flat on his face, and got embarrassed by aizawa when he for the 4th time yet again in one class started staring at shinso with wide eyes like a tiny pervert and writing like a stalker his notebook

He took a deep breath before he grabbed the handle to your door just knowing that being by your side he may feel a little better

he silently prayed that today you weren’t doing something weird in your room like he often’d find you.

Thanking god when he saw you at your desk a small wave coming from you at his entrance

“ drawing — give me a sec “

he grunted as he sat on your bed hands holding him up while he flicked through his phones many apps — well not many seeing as though he rarely had time to get on his phone

Which is why he was confused when he found himself actually going through it pausing when he noticed he’d ended up on google trying to figure out different dog barks and their meanings hoping he could find a way to talk to bakugou and tell him to shut the hell up

“ you uh — “ he threw his phone behind him on your bed propping himself up to lay back “ you still drawing “

“ mmhm “ you said softly as you traced on the paper in front of you attention focused on your new hero design

“ oh “ his voice was soft you knew something was wrong he wasn’t a man of many words but he would always try to string a sentence along for you

“ hey shin you good “ you put the pencil in your mouth as you erased a line you’d messed up on

“ yeah “ he moved to stand up “ yeah “ he let out while looking around your room “ just tired baby “

your eyes creased as you ran the words through your mind until you both sat in silence the room growing cold

‘ somethings off ‘

“ well my uh — my girlfriends too bus— “

his mouth fell open in a wide o as he looked down to see your face pressed into his chest hands tied around his back your feet planted right in between his as you two stood in the middle of the room

His heart beating out of his chest when he noticed what you were drawing

“ y/— “

“ shh “

you pushed yourself further in his chest “ hug me back please babe “

he jumped forgetting that sometimes he had to return your affection and couldn’t just accept it.

That was hard for him to let himself do the things you do so freely.

His arms hung loosely around your back making you smile “ your getting there “ your voice came out muffled “ I’m so proud of you pretty boy “

he shook at your praise “ p-pretty boy “

“ yeah — your fucking hot babe “ he felt himself sinking into you

“ h-how — how am I hot ? “ the word fell foreign on his lips

“ your quirks so amazing — you look so good when your trying your best it makes me feel warm inside — and I especially like when you use your voice mask “

he found himself smiling

“ don’t get me started on your looks who can pull off purple hair like you shin “

“ you — you could “

“ oh god see and your an amazing liar — your all around awesome shin “

“ t-thank you but I don’t des—“

“ you deserve it “

you two fell quiet as he gripped you harder finally giving in to your affection

‘ he’s ok now ‘

“ how did you know something was “ he sighed out as he pressed his head in your hair “ off “

“ your always tired shin — always — you’ve never actually voiced it though so I was — I felt off myself when you said it —it felt weird “

“ you knew off of one phrase “

“ one phrase “

he smiled into your hair pulling your face back to plant a kiss to your forehead

“ see so fucking beautiful baby “

your thumb traced his face making sure to run under his eyes feeling just how tired he actually was when you felt his eye bags

“ no after school rant today “ he laughed mocking you in your own voice

“ get to sleep baby you have class tomorrow— shin if I see any new eyebags i’m kicking your ass — bab— “

you pushed him away as he fell back on your bed

“ what ? what I was just saying — i mean am i wrong you do say all of those things “

“ get out “ you protested sitting back in your chair continuing your drawing “ come look at this “

he sat confused as he blinked “ I uh “

“ choose the latter “

he smiled as he walked over to your chair draping himself over your shoulder “ your so talented “

“ no I just — i draw “ you said softly

“ oh she just draws “ he copied “ the beautiful lady just draws as she proceeds to draw a portrait of my new hero costume “

he pouted “ you couldn’t have possibly done this all right now how long did this take you “

you looked away

“ I told you I knew you were sad “ sighing as you looked up at him neck bent backwards

“ so I started drawing it when I walked past you in the hallway like I said your always tired but today you were wiping at your eyes constantly — yawning and just then you confirmed it saying you were tired so I “

you looked away “ I drew what you’d been trying to “

he moved to place his lips on yours not letting up until the both of you had to tap out at the lack of oxygen “ your so fucking beau— “

“ Beautiful “ you cut him off words syncing with his up as you two continued the rest of the night with you yelling at him about how he had to open up to his classmates and accept their flaws first before he came to talk badly about them to you

except for bakugou he could talk badly about him

“ thank you for the hug “

“thank you for the acceptance on my drawing “

“ thank you for the praise “

“ thank you for being with me“

he scoffed as his face grew hard before relaxing into a smirk “ thank you for loving me “

“ y-you win “

he laughed as he met your face with one more kiss smiling down on you “ I win “

Bakugou

-you only know because he doesn’t get upset at your actions and your in total surprise

You moved your hand to poke at your boyfriend for the 7th time in a row

your body ducking under his bed in fear of his screams everytime you poked

you frowned when he didn’t acknowledge you

you were only doing it because you wanted to hear some kind of response from him most times when you annoyed him like this he would pick you up and plop you on his bed and tickle the life out of you until you both fell asleep

For some reason he was barely even moving from the spot he came in and laid himself down in

After class the both of you walked to his dorm and he unlocked it holding it open for you and walking in after throwing his backpack to the corner as he ripped off his uniform blazer hand outstretched for yours as he laid them over the back of the desk chair

squatting down to help you take off your shoes and then grabbing them to place at the door his own falling right off his feet with a loud thump.

Him moving to his bed grabbing you and sitting you down on the floor in front of him your legs crossed in front of you as he laid on the bed looking at your sitting figure on the floor

His eyes never leaving yours the whole time until he finally shook his head and turned away from you causing your body to fall

thus leading to your endless pokes

‘ wait now that I think about it ‘

“ babe— have you talked at all today “

you looked to the floor “ I— I don’t think you’ve talked all day “ holding out your hand counting off your fingers

“ at lunch you didn’t even ask me what I wanted you just “

your hands moved up with your shoulders in a shrug “ got it “

you played with the hem on your pants

“ at practice you didn’t partner with kiri you just stayed near me and when we got in your room you“

you looked to your feet voice soft trying to sort through your mind

“ you took my shoes off for me “

you sat for a moment moving to poke him again his body never moving no answer being given to you

“ I know your not sleeping kats —you breathe heavy as shit when you are so “

he didn’t laugh or even grunt nothing falling from his lips as your eyebrows quirked into a knowing furrow

Hands and body leaving the floor as you climbed on his bed to lay on top of his body

your chest draped over his right side

legs straddling his own and your mouth pressed right into his ear

“ I swear i’m not going anywhere baby “

you watched as his eyes moved from the wall across from you two to the pillow right next to him

in hopes of conserving his feelings

“ your doing great — your the coolest and strongest guy I know “

you kissed the outer shell of his ear

“ your so respectful and understanding of my needs“

you placed a kiss to his jaw “ your cuddles are amazing and you make me feel loved when you finally give in and let me win our fights — snuggling up to me on the couch “

you moved to kiss the end of his eyebrow

“ your so hot when you talk to me —that’s when I find you the hottest “

your eyes fell to his lips as you stared down on him

“ when you answer me — and acknowledge me “

he grunted a little in response

his eyes closing when your mouth found his neck kissing softly as you smiled

“ there you go pretty boy“

he groaned as you hugged him arms wrapping around whatever part of his body you could find

“ your kissing everywhere but where I want you to “

“ and where’s that “

“ you know babe “

his face flashed a look you weren’t fast enough to catch as you laughed at him

“ fine fine “

you let your lips hover over his as he turned his body so you were now laying directly on top of him

his hands coming to rest on your lower back

“ before I give you this kiss “

“ fuck—seriously y/n — you can’t just talk after—you worked me up expecting a kiss “

he shook his head in annoyance “ fucking tease — I knew I should’ve kept my mood “

“ but why “ your face dropped as you looked around his “ why did you have a mood katsuki “

he grunted “ because I “

he sighed as he looked directly into your eyes “ sometimes I feel like i’m not doing enough like I could do more for you and sometimes I feel like I treat you like an asshole and what — what girl wants to date an asshole “

he shook his head “ I don’t know if I tell you I love you enough or if I— if I show you that I can protect you if I wanted to or even that I can supply all your needs “

he mumbled under his breath “ I don’t even know if i talk to you enough “

you smiled as you ran your hand through the top of his hair “ you do — you do it all “

you laughed “ and your just fine “

he looked away as you pulled his face back

“ no kats look at me “ his eyes darted away hating how he just opened up to you and now you were begging for eye contact he felt stupid and way too open

“ kats look “ he slowly found his eyes moving to yours at your tone

he knew not to mess around when your praising him it pisses you off and one thing he knows he doesn’t feel like dealing with is a pissed off girlfriend

especially after he just cleaned up his room from your last outburst of firing off his gauntlet at his negligence to answer you

luckily he fell submissive right after mind racing at your attempt to kill him over a small eyeroll and scoff at your praise

Only sucking up his attitude so he didn’t have to run into another problem like that where aizawa flat out kicked his ass for the hole you created in the wall that he somehow took the blame for when he felt your stone cold stare on his back in the office

he was not about to risk his good moment with you right now

“ your amazing , Beautiful , smart and talented “ he shook at the praise body growing hot

“ your doing so good for me and I couldn’t ask for anymore “ you smiled slightly “ keep doing what your doing “

his heart thumped hoping you couldn’t hear it

“ and also i’m not complaining —if you y’know ever wanted to take off my shoes for me again “

he scoffed as he looked away from you and back “ how’d you know “

“ you always tickle me when I poke and annoy you “

you pouted as he spoke “ huh always ? “

“ always “

“ you know my routine that much “ you shook your head in a yes

“ so now that I know why your always pissing me off and what you want I doubt I feel like giving it to you anymore “

you moved to get off of him “ ok well i’m sure it’s a bit more fun with kirish—“

your loud laugh ripped through the room as you fell to his floor with a loud boom

his mouth curling up into a smile as he dragged you back on the bed your protest falling on deaf ears as he continued until he finally stopped speaking into your ear softly

“ I lov—“ he shook his head burying himself into your chest “ fuck you shitty woman “

you smiled at his words hand raking up the back of his neck and into his hair “ I love you katsuki “

kiri

-the only way I can see you understanding somethings off with kirishima is if he just hasn’t been smiling or making comments all day

-then your like :0 uh woah dude my boyfriend hasn’t smiled all day

“ how about ice cream and a movie ? “ you turned to the red head sitting on the couch beside you then shaking you head at your question “ nah sounds lame right “

you laughed “ I knew you would say that “

you pouted when your thoughts finally connected “ oh — nevermind babe i’m sorry I forgot I didn’t do my homework it’s the one midnight gave us I should probably get started—“

Your mouth moving so fast you missed the way the speed in his leg increased in its shakes , the puff of air he let out at your continued talking when he just wanted silence.

Sometimes he enjoyed being around bakugou because at least he had silence for a moment just a moment until he would scream his head off only to return back to the quiet environment he’d created before

“ so yeah it’s a lot and if I don’t get it turned in today I may just fail her clas -“

“ then get it done “ his voice was low and quick to snap at you which had your mind stalling

you laughed uncomfortable with the way he spoke to you “ aw uh where’s my happy guy “

he scoffed as he shifted on the couch his leg speeding up its pace “ where’s my annoying girlfriend “

he snapped his fingers pointing it to you “ oh I spy with my little eye “

his voice was dead as he spoke

“ she’s right next to me “

your eyebrows furrowed as you jumped back a bit

you couldn’t even make out words after his comments

you knew for your few months of dating kirishima that it couldn’t be possible for him to be happy and care about people’s feelings all the time

he had to open up and let you see him pissed off at least once to seal the deal on your relationship

this was it

this was the seal but for some reason you didn’t know if you could close it —much less address it and find the problem

“ kirishima what’s wrong with you “

“ you’ve just been talking all day baby i’m a bit tired of just— “

he felt his body growing a bit hotter than normal , you feeling the heat from his words make their way over to you everytime he spit them out

“just hearing you — I know I can go on and on for hours but if I can go hours you can go days and I just never noticed until now “

“ oh “

“ yeah I need some silence right now babe and your—your not helping” his voice was low even upset he was still trying to save your feelings not that it worked

“ no ones helping “

you looked from your boyfriend to everyone around the room

their voices echoing with laughter everyone spread out around the room as they spoke about what they all did today.

The kitchen full of people

bakugous yelling moving its way down the dorm halls

your face dropping as you stood and grabbed his hand that he snatched back quickly

“ I don’t want to leave “

you pouted settling yourself back on the couch you didn’t know how to deal with him like this and his best friend wasn’t here and almost everyone else he said was adding to his anger would just make him angrier right ? if you called them over

so who could you get to help ?

“ I may be pissed off by them but I — I still want to be around people I don’t want to be upset and alon— “

Time slowed as he felt his body weigh down almost as if he felt the weight of himself when he used his quirk.

Eyes widened before they closed basking in the heat your body supplied as you crawled in his lap wrapping your arms around his neck legs around his own in a straddle

his body just relaxing into your hold not making any movements the occasional jump to follow you whenever you would move

“ come on tell me what’s wrong baby “

your voice was soft in his ear not wanting to draw attention over seeing as though he wasn’t in the best of moods “ who do you want me to fight “

you looked closely at his face as he was just quiet hands finally moving to push both your legs up so that he could get you as close as possible his mouth moving to kiss yours

happiness of the moment overflowing within you as you let him guide you in the kiss surrendering all control to him and letting him lead

“ just feeling a little background today ? “ you said smiling hands cupping his face

“ I understand it gets to someone after a whil— “

“and everyone acts totally brand new when they see i’m not happy for one day —baby one literal day —why am i just expected to be happy all the time “

he dropped his head to your chest “ i’m not no one is”

“ so then tell me what’s wrong why aren’t you happy today “

“ nothings wrong y/n “

his voice boomed loud through your chest

“ nothing is wrong I just feel like having quiet today but because of that —here everyone is —in my face asking me what’s wrong telling me i’m not myself “

he tried to bury his head further in your chest

“ when I want quiet everyones loud and I —I never noticed how loud i am —how loud everything is until I stopped talking and I hate it —I hate how loud everything is “

you sighed as his fingers ran along your thigh “ I thought if I followed you out here to watch a movie I would be comfortable “

his voice was sad “ I just wanted to come out here and watch a movie with my girlfriend but “

your hand running over his shoulders and back up finding a hold in his hair

“ I just got more pissed off when you actually started talking I just expected —if no one else could be quiet then you would “

“ well i’m sorry I wasn’t quiet “

“ you shouldn’t have to be not cause I want you to be“

“ that’s right “

“ I know “ he took a deep breath looking up at

“ I know you think i’m an asshole now because you’ve seen this side of me—the angry one but “

“ I don’t think your an asshole or you’d be sitting in bakugous room right now crying that there’s lemon juice in your eyes “

his mouth shut instantly as he stared at you in fear your thumb running circles over his cheek

“ h-how can say something like that and “ he shook his head “ that’s so manly god I love you so much “

“ I love you too but —you have to tell me things kiri I can’t just “

you flicked his forehead as he crinkled his nose in pain “ I can’t just read your big brain”

“ but you did it just now “

“ huh “

“ all I wanted was for you to hug me and like shower me in kisses to calm me down and you “

he kissed your forehead “ you did it —which kinda had me confused on how you knew me so well “

you laughed “ you looked sad —upset and I wanted to remind you that I was still here regardless of how you feel —you cat push me away that easily “

he smiled widely as you two felt heat radiate through your bodies

“ I really do love you baby months or years or days I love how well you know me”

your mouth opening to laugh as you cuddled into his neck

“ guys kirishimas fine “ denkis voice made the both of you shake

“ I told you he just wanted some attention from y/n —guys he just has a small case of simptitis “

your head turned quickly as you seen the shaking boy beneath you “ uh your room “

“ my room “

[ladydorian05]

A Christmas with you~

Oh god...where do I begin, okay as of today Dec/24/2020, the movie We can be heroes isn’t out yet, so everything is just from my imagination, interactions, personalities and everything else that may sound slightly canon, it’s most certainly NOT canon. I hate using ‘Y/n’ on reader inserts but this time I had to. Thank you @din-damn-djarin​ for being my beta for this fic, I really, really appreciate it. Go check out her fics, I adore her Neigbor Marcus Pike series, it’s SO good. 

This is a monster of a fic, where did so many words come from?

Hope you guys like it.

Thoughts are in italics 

A Christmas with you~

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x f!reader

Summary: You’ve been in love with your best friend for years, what you don’t know is that he’s also in love with you. Could a little push from one cunning young girl help you both get together during the most wonderful time of the year? (sorry, still suck at summaries)

Warnings: Reader’s superhero name is “Striker”, why? Because my brain thought it sounded cool, I jump from POV to POV, one plotting child, best friends to lovers, a pair of pinning idiots and implicit spiciness.

Words: 7K something

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was no secret to any of the members of the Heroics that you had no family to spend the holidays with.

In a way they were all your family, you were all a close-knitted team, but sometimes, it just wasn’t the same.

Then, there was Marcus and his daughter. He had been there from the moment you joined the team he became a very close friend, your best friend. Most of the time you got partnered with him, especially when it came to reconnaissance missions, you worked well together, you trusted each other and always had each other’s back.

Eventually, you began to feel differently towards him. You were no fool, you knew what you felt for him was definitely more than simple fondness, attachment or admiration. Your heart rate increased when he was close, his smile makes you smile, you would do anything for him, anything to keep him and his loved ones from harm’s way.

He’s always been so charming and handsome and a total gentleman. There had been times where you had wanted to take the first step, confess your feelings to him and see where that would take you, but you couldn’t; at first because he had been a married man about to become a father when you met him and then when his wife stopped being a part of the picture, well you just wanted to be there for him as a friend, he had enough on his plate raising Missy on his own, he didn’t need you to dump all of your feelings on him.

He was doing amazing on his own, but you wanted him. No, you wanted both of them, Marcus and Missy, to know that you would be there for them whenever they needed you. Besides, you were just friends, he’ll never see you as anything more.

“That will be all for today, everyone’s dismissed. I wish you all a happy Christmas eve and remember to keep your locators close, we all know how crime rates increase during this season. I'll see you again here until the 26th” Ms. Granada said, taking you out of your thoughts and officially ending the debrief meeting.

Every year, during the holidays, most of the team got a leave from duty, beginning early on Christmas eve, until the 26th; that was if no major crisis happened that required the whole team, otherwise only a handful of volunteers were left on patrol duty during those days.

Seeing as you’ve never celebrated the festivity, you always volunteered to be a part of the patrolling team. Not that your teammates had never invited you to spend Christmas with them and their families, they had done it on multiple occasions, not wanting you to be alone, time and time again you had reassured them that it was alright you didn't mind spending the night patrolling.

In truth, you always declined because you didn’t want to intrude, the celebration was all about family and spending time with loved ones, you knew your friends had good intentions but you just didn’t want to feel like you didn’t belong there, like you were invited to tag along out of pity.

Eventually, the invitations stopped coming your way, and while it hurt a bit that they gave up on you, you were also relieved for not being put on the spot again and again having to decline their generous offers.

But this year, unbeknownst to you, a scheme was beginning to brew inside the head of one young girl, to make you change your plans for the night.

~~~~~~~~~~

Missy wasn’t blind, she knew there was something between her father and Striker, even before she learned that her father was a superhero.

When she was younger, she had shipped his dad’s alter ego and Striker. They always looked so in-sync on the tv, like the perfect duo, but now that she gets to watch them both in real life? She had no doubts, they liked each other.

And it wasn’t just when they were in costume, Striker had always been around ever since she could remember, all of her birthday parties, her school festivals, even helping her dad every time some mom came up with the idea to have bake sales at school over and over again; what’s wrong with that woman?

She had noticed all the constant glances, the here and there ‘accidental’ brush of hands, even the full-on staring; just like right now, during the debrief, her father’s eyes kept straying from Ms. Granada to Striker and every single time he turned his attention back to the meeting before he could notice how Striker had been doing the same thing. Oh yeah, they were both pining for each other.

The problem was that they were SO stubborn, she’s been trying to bring it up to her dad, but he would immediately change the topic of the conversation with some question about school or any upcoming mission, it was frustrating!

She wanted him to be happy, she wanted both of them to be happy, and being superheroes was dangerous business, she wasn’t about to wait until something happened to either of them, as dramatic as that would be, for things to move forward. Like always, it was up to her to give them a push.

“You know, if you keep staring at her like that she’ll burst into flames.” One good thing that came with the pair of pinning adults was that the whole thing made them so easy to tease, and she loved to tease her father.

“I think you're mistaken, that would be something Lavagirl could probably do, not me sweetheart.” With a chuckle, Marcus puts a hand on her head to ruffle her hair. “Ready to go?” Changing the topic, again. This time she wasn’t about to let it go.

“Not yet. Actually, there’s something you haven’t done.” Missy crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Oh, really?” Marcus smiled as he mimicked his daughter’s stance. “And what is that thing I haven’t done?” he said with amusement.

Missy smirked. “You haven’t asked Y/n if she wants to come home and celebrate with us. “The smile on Marcus' face disappeared, a stunned expression replacing it.

“What!?”

“Yeah, you should invite her, we can all have dinner together and maybe she can stay and open presents with us.”

“Uh…Missy, sweetheart I don’t think that’s a good-“

“Oh, come on, dad! It’ll be great! It’s not as if we’re doing something REALLY special tonight. Please?”

“Sweetheart, she’ll probably say no, you know she never comes to Christmas parties.” His hands moved from his chest to rest on his waist as he spoke.

“Which is why you should invite her over. We’re not throwing a party; it’ll be just the three of us. And even if she says no, you won't lose anything just by asking.”

He wouldn’t know what to do if she rejected him. How cliché of him to fall in love with his best friend.

He had slowly fallen for you, so much so that by the time he realized what was going on, he was already a goner.

He had always known how beautiful you were, your smile, the way it illuminated your whole face; your eyes, your nose, your lips. He noticed how you were always helping people, inside and outside your Heroic persona, he also noticed how you tried to dismiss your own worries, not wanting to ‘burden’ others with them.

If only you would let him do for you the same things you do for him. He would love nothing more than to share whatever problems weighted down on you. He also knew you never accepted invitations to any Christmas celebration, at first, he had thought maybe you were being shy, being the new member of the team and all that, but year after year you always declined every single invitation from your teammates, he had always hated the thought of you spending the holidays on your own, patrolling the city.

He had never tried to invite you himself, back when his wife was around, they had always traveled to her parent’s house so it was useless to ask you to tag along, and then, after she left, it had been difficult to even try to celebrate.

If he asked you to come to Christmas and you said no, if you rejected him…well what hope could he have that maybe, just maybe he could find the courage to confess his feelings. But the probability of them being unrequired scared him so much. Should he risk it all?

Missy didn’t need to be a telepath to know what her dad was thinking, he was thinking too much and that normally resulted in him chickening out, well this time she wouldn’t let him.

“Or do you actually like the idea of her spending Christmas patrolling the city in a cold night most likely on her own?” This time she copied her father’s stance, silently challenging him to a staring contest, she had this in the bag, her dad had never won a staring contest in his life.

“You can be so stubborn when you want to, little lady.” Marcus said after a few seconds, breaking eye contact.

“Who do you think I got it from?” She said with a self-satisfied smile on her face.

“Come here.” Marcus pulled her in a hug. “I love you; you know that?” he said, leaving a kiss on top of her hair.

“I know, I love you too. Now stop stalling and go ask her.”

“Okay, okay. Sheesh, you’re also bossy.” He squeezed her a little before letting go and walking towards y/n.

“It’s called leadership!” He shook his head laughing, well, at least he was doing something right, god knows raising Missy almost on his own hadn’t been easy.

~~~~~~~~~~

You had been waiting to see which teammates would be staying with you this year to agree upon a schedule, when you noticed Marcus approaching you, he stood in front of you with a wide smile making his adorable dimple appear.

“Hi there.” He greeted while rubbing his hands together, one of his nervous ticks.

“Hi there yourself, everything okay?” It was weird, you could see how tense he was and he kept shifting from foot to foot.

His eyes widened and his head kept moving as he nodded. “Yeah, yes, everything’s alright.”

“Okay.” Now this was a Marcus you didn’t get to see often. Normally he was so self-assured, he always carried himself with confidence, even in the face of danger. “Are you excited to go home and spend a whole day with Missy?”

“Of course, it’s been some time since we’ve had the chance to spend a whole day together.”

“I’m glad you got the chance, she’s been working so hard, you both have, you deserve some time off.”

And so do you. He thought.

“You know, you’re right, you should also take a break.” He frowned. Marcus could see the bags under your eyes. You had also been working harder, pulling more time than the others. You did this every year during this season and it always pained him, while everyone else went home to their families you didn’t even hang your suit and equipment for a night and a day off, no, you made sure to keep everyone safe.

“I don’t know, not many of us volunteer for patrol as it is, and I don’t have any plans for the night or tomorrow so, why not?” You looked down at your feet. It was the truth, why bother taking a break, only to go to a cold empty apartment? You could find a better use of your time like this.

Marcus, swallowed, steeling what little resolve he had, it was now or never.

“You know, we- Missy and I that is. We were wondering if…maybe, if you don’t have any other plans; and of course you can say no, but it’ll be great if you said yes, and it’s nothing formal-” You watched him with amusement as he kept rambling, “It would be just the three of us and well, pizza and movies and junk food, staying up until midnight and opening some presents. Don’t worry, you don’t have to actually bring anything, it’ll be fine with jus-“

Shit, why was he talking so much, and why wouldn’t his hands stop moving!? Something like this hadn’t happened to him in a freaking long while, since he first invited a girl he liked on a date, like twenty or so years ago!

Leave it to you to have this kind of effect on him, only you could reduce him to a babbling idiot, if this kept going on, he wouldn’t be able to actually ask you the question.

~~~~ 

Oh my god! What is he doing!? Missy stared at her dad as he kept talking and moving his hands around while you just looked at him with mirth and confusion.

She had to do everything in this family, didn’t she?

“Would you like to join us tonight and maybe even tomorrow?” Missy interrupted her dad before he could keep on talking.

 Marcus hadn't been so grateful to his little girl than in that moment. “Umm, yeah, would you like to join us?” Marcus looked at you with a smile and hopeful eyes.

“Oh…OH!” You were speechless, you weren’t expecting an invitation this year, least of all an invitation from him. While it wasn’t weird for him to invite you to special occasions, he’s never once tried to invite you to spend Christmas with him. You always thought this time of year was special for him and that he preferred to spend it alone with Missy. “I-I…”

“Please say yes! It’d be fun, we just sit in front of the tv and watch movies while eating junk food!” Missy jumped in hugging you. She wasn’t scared to use her resources, every single one of them, if that meant that y/n agreed to the invite; she’d even use the puppy eyes if she had to, she had to exploit that one before it stopped working.

“I don’t know, we can’t leave the city defenseless…” Puppy eyes it was.

“Pretty please! I’m sure it’ll be fine, you always stay on duty, they can manage one year without you!”

Oh no, not the puppy eyes! You stared at Missy’s brown eyes, they looked so much like her father’s. You shifted your gaze from Missy to look at Marcus only to find him doing almost the same expression. God damn it! Not him too, he’s too old for that face to work, why is it working!?

What the hell, it’s not like you didn’t want to.

“Okay, I’ll join you guys”

“Yes! You’re the best, see ya later!!!” Missy gave your middle a squeeze before running out of the room, leaving you and Marcus staring after her.

“You mister are way too old to be pulling the puppy-eyed look, you should be ashamed.” You turned to see his smug face.

“I’ll keep using it for as long as it keeps working.”

“What a disgrace.”

“So umm, does six work for you?”

“Yeah, I’m just going to let the others know I won’t be a volunteer this year. See you then.” With a smile you gave Marcus a quick hug before approaching one of the members of the Heroics that, much like you, always volunteered and was the one in charge of making the schedule for patrol rounds.

“Yeah, see you.” Marcus said shaking his head, long after you had left his side. He needed to get a grip of himself, if not, he would have a long night waiting for him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Even if Marcus said not to bring anything, you hated arriving at a friend’s house empty handed, even if it was Marcus, especially if it was Marcus; so you made sure to grab a couple of things on the way to your apartment. Some bags of everyone’s favorite chip flavor and enough ingredients to make some cinnamon rolls.

You took a quick shower once the glaze was done and the cinnamon rolls were in the oven. With one towel around your body and another one around your hair; you stood in front of your dresser debating on what to wear.

It’s not like this was a date; as if. So why worry so much?  Still, you kept on throwing clothes on your bed, you told yourself enough by the time you were seriously contemplating putting on a dress.

You put away the mess you made, leaving out a nice button up shirt and a pair of comfortable dress pants, the ones that had actual pockets, you finished your look with some comfortable boots, you were probably going to end up taking them off at some point so you also put on some cute Christmas themed fuzzy socks.

Satisfied with your choice, you decided to put on a baggy T-shirt to take the cinnamon rolls out of the oven and to prevent the glaze from dirtying your clothes when you poured it on the buns once they were cool enough.

You were fifteen minutes late by the time you got dressed, packed everything up, and grabbed the presents for Marcus and Missy that you had wrapped up a week ago. You send Marcus a message saying that you were on your way.

~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus went into full panic mode when they got home an hour and a half away from the time he told you to arrive, they lost too much time lining up to pay at the supermarket, he insisted on going once he remembered he was out of your favorite candy, he also got a bag of chocolates and some sodas.

For a moment he contemplated getting some beers, but soon dismissed the idea, he wasn’t that much of a drinker and he didn’t like to drink in front of his daughter. Besides this wasn’t a date, of any kind, just his daughter and best friend; who he had been in love with for a long time now, spending some quality time together.

Shit, he forgot about the pizza!

“Missy, go take a shower and change into something more comfortable but nice and then come give me a hand, we need to set everything up in the living room” He said as he dialed the number from the pizza place the three of you loved.

Missy took the grocery bags to the kitchen before doing what her father asked her to do, but in reverse, that way there was a chance that you would arrive while she was still getting ready leaving the two of you alone for a few minutes.

She opened the chocolate and candy bags dumping the contents into two different small bowls, she listened as her father finished ordering the pizza on her way to the living room where they had a slightly bigger tv than the one in front of the breakfast table, she left the bowls on the coffee table in the middle.

“Missy, I thought I asked you to do something else before setting everything up.”

“I know, but we’ll finish faster this way, you need to take a shower too. Can you get the glasses from the cupboard?”

He sighed but went to the kitchen to get the aforementioned glasses.

“Hey, did you order the potato wedges?” Missy asked, taking one of the soda bottles and putting it inside the fridge.

“Yup.” Marcus answered, passing her the second bottle. “Give me a hand with the plates please.” He bumped her with his hip as he passed her.

They inspected their work for a moment before going to their respective rooms to get ready, Missy decided to take her time choosing her clothes, she even contemplated whether it’d be too much to take a bath instead of a shower.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

Never before, in his whole life, had he gotten ready for ANYTHING as fast as today. He almost pulled out a suit from his closet before doing a double-take and grabbing a nice shirt, some black denim pants, and his favorite sneakers.

He decided to forgo any kind of hair product and only dabbled a little bit of cologne on his wrist and neck. On his way to the living room, he stopped by Missy’s room to knock on her door.

“Are you ready darling?”

“Not yet!” Was her muffled response.

“Okay, I’ll be in the living room, take your time but remember we’ll have a special guest over.” A special guest? Come on Marcus, she’s been here multiple times before, she’s like part of the family, maybe not in the way he wished her to be but still.

~

“Okay, dad!” A special guest!? Really!? He was hopeless, did he even notice how obvious he was? Why hadn’t he done something about it yet? Y/n could easily slip through his fingers by the time he decided to actually make a move. She needed to up her game.

 Marcus kept staring at the clock as it read five minutes past six, leg bouncing. Maybe his clock was wrong, maybe he didn’t put the right hour, maybe it was forward by a few minutes.

God, he was a mess, he needed to calm down, it was just Y/n, his best friend; she’s hung out with them before, on multiple occasions, except…well she wasn’t JUST Y/n, she never was and never would be.

She was everything, she became everything to him in such a short time that sometimes it scared him. If he had to be truly honest with himself, he needed to admit that he began to fall for her the moment they met, he fought against it for years, he was married with a baby on the way for god’s sake.

He had loved his wife and he would’ve never cheated on her, but he also couldn’t deny the connection he felt with you from day one, he had never felt something even remotely close to it with anyone else.

If things had been different, he would have told you about his feeling’s way sooner, he had been selfish, he knew he couldn’t afford to lose you, he lost his wife, Missy lost her mother, he couldn’t lose you too if you didn’t feel the same, that would’ve destroyed him when Missy needed him more than ever.

So, instead he kept it silent, holding on to the hope that maybe, someday, he’d be able to act upon his feelings for you.

He was startled by his phone chiming in his pocket, the first thing he noticed was the hour, quarter past six; and the second, your message. ‘I’m on my way.’

He sighed, you would be there soon, could he maybe try to hint at something tonight? Well, if he didn’t, maybe he could bring ‘that’ out.

~~~~~

Fifteen more minutes later you were finally ringing Marcus’ house doorbell, not for the first time, you were happy with the proximity of your apartment complex to his house.

“Hey! Why didn’t you use your key?” Marcus' smiling face greeted you. “Oh, I see why.” You were holding a container in one hand, balancing two gift boxes on top and the cloth bag with the chips in the other.

“I kind of couldn’t even if I wanted to.” You laughed.

“I told you, you didn’t have to bring anything but yourself; here, let me help you.” He took the container with the cinnamon rolls from your hands. “Come on in.”

“As if you didn’t know me Marcus, I never come here with empty hands.” You followed Marcus to the kitchen after closing the door behind you.

“This thing is warm, what’s inside?” he had left the bag and the container on the counter, he also put the boxes aside.

“Well, you have two options, you can try to guess or you can open it.” You said with a smile, taking the bags of chips out to fold the bag they were in.

“I know it’s warm, is it something sweet?” so guessing it was, you loved to play this kind of game with him every time you brought baked goods.

“Yes.”

“Can I smell it? Am I allowed to do that?” he asked, eyebrows raised and a big smile on his face.

You faked a thoughtful look before nodding. Marcus lifted the container close to his face and took a deep breath.

“Cinnamon?” His eyes opened wide in delight. “No way, don’t tell me! Are these, you brought cinnamon rolls!? Holy sheesh!”

You laughed at him, you knew he loved cinnamon rolls so you made them as often as you could, you even gave him the recipe but he claimed that they just didn’t taste the same when he made them himself. You thought he was just too impatient to make them and preferred to just eat them.

He opened the container to keep the bread from getting soggy because of the condensation inside it.

“My god! They look delicious, I swear could kiss you right now!” What!?

 FUUUUCK!!! YOU IDIOT! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!!!! he froze up, there was a moment of silence between the two of you before it was thankfully interrupted by the doorbell.

“The pizza is here! Just in time.” He said with maybe too much enthusiasm. The delivery guy deserved a big tip, he just unknowingly saved his ass.

 Did you hear correctly? Did he say kiss? That’s what he said, right?

No, well yes, he did say it, but he probably didn’t mean it like, well...THAT. It was just an expression, he was overjoyed you brought him food and you were just thinking too much into things. Yeah, that was it, you were thinking too much.

“I heard the pizza arrived! Don’t start without me!” You shook your head, clearing your thoughts as Missy appeared around the corner. “Hi y/n!”

“Hi Missy.” You opened your arms towards her for a hug that she walked right into.

“You got chips, nice. Wait do I smell cinnamon rolls!?” Like father, like daughter.

“Ah-ah-ah! Don’t touch those, little lady. Those are for later.” Marcus said stepping into the kitchen. “Now, come on, I left the pizza on the coffee table.”

“But dad, they’re WARM.” Missy argued, stressing out the last word.

“Don’t you think it also hurts me to leave them there? We can reheat them later in the oven.” Marcus said with his hands on his hips. Missy looked like she wanted to say something more, so you decided to cut in.

“Mis, why don’t you take the gifts I brought and put them under the tree? We’ll be there in a minute.” You said handing her the boxes.

“Okay, but I get to pick the first movie!” Both of you watched as she walked out.

“I swear this girl.” Marcus huffed running a hand through his hair.

“Don’t you dare finish that thought Moreno, you’re just as bad as her when it comes to your precious buns.” You said shaking your head.

You hear him gasp as you walk to the fridge, knowing he probably stashed the drinks there. “You wound me!”

“Uh huh, let’s go before she decides to start eating without us.” You grabbed one of the cold bottles of soda inside the fridge and made your way towards the living room. “Don’t forget to bring the chips.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Together you made your way to the living room.

~~~~~~~~~~

Missy decided to sit on the carpeted floor right in front of the coffee table, that way her dear pining love birds would be forced to share the loveseat.

“What took you so long? I hope the big box is for me, also I already picked a movie.”

“Don’t be impatient, you’ll find out soon.” You said as you ruffled her hair a little, leaving the bottle of soda on the table close to the glasses.

“Oh no. Sweetheart, we forgot to move the couch.”

“It’s okay dad, you two can have the loveseat, besides this way I’ll be closer to the snacks.” Don’t be suspicious Missy, you don’t want to ruin this perfect chance. Phase one, getting them to sit together: complete, phase two is on hold.

“You sure you don’t mind darling?”

“Nope, can I start the movie?”

~~

Oh god, they were going to be really close to one another.

Calm down, Moreno. You’re fine, this is fine. It’s your best friend. He reminded himself for the millionth time that day.

He didn’t know what was wrong with him, maybe it was because this was your first Christmas with them and all the domestic stuff was getting to him.

He turned to look at you “After you.” He said gesturing towards the loveseat with his hands.

“Thank you. What are we watching Missy?”

“First Home alone, The Santa Clause, Arthur Christmas; you know, the classics with a touch of new stuff.”

“Let’s begin then.” Everyone sat in their respective places with a plate and a slice of pizza.

As the evening progressed, he found himself using the ‘stretching move’ to put his arm around you, when he noticed you weren’t bothered by it, he willed his body to relax and enjoy the company of his favorite people in the world.

 As the movies kept playing on the screen and the snacks disappeared little by little. You felt yourself get more comfortable.

For a moment you let your imagination run wild; for a moment you let yourself believe this was a normal occurrence, family movie nights, cuddling with Marcus on the loveseat, going to sleep beside him afterward, waking up beside him, help him raise Missy…

You needed to stop this, as wonderful as everything sounded inside your head you knew none of that would become a reality.

“Okay, it’s getting late,” You got startled by Marcus nudging you softly with his shoulder before pausing the movie, you hadn’t even realized you leaned into him “don’t think that I’ll forget about your bedtime just because Y/n is here.”

“But dad!”

“No, come on, let’s open some presents and then I want you to go get ready for bed. I can see your head nodding from here, you’re tired, go on choose one.”

Phase two: Leave the love birds alone, has officially begun. Missy thought, wishing for her dad to finally take the opportunity to climb that last step. Phase three of her plan, officially having you as a mom, depended on it.

“Okay,” Missy said pretending to be disappointed “Y/n, which one is mine? The big one?”

“Sorry Mis, It’s actually the small one.”

“Oh.”

“’Oh’? What’s that supposed to mean? Don’t you have faith in me?”

“I do, but what cool stuff could possibly be wrapped in such a small box?”

“You’ll see once you open it, sweetheart.” Marcus left the remote control on the table and returned to his previous position on the loveseat, arm around you and all.

Both of you watched as Missy broke the wrapping paper and opened the wooden box taking out what looked like a smart watch from inside it.

“Oh! It’s one of those cool watches!” Missy exclaimed with surprise.

“Yes and no.” you said, leaning in towards her.

“what do you mean?”

“This one’s special, see I got Tech-no to make it especially for you. It does work like any other smart watch, but you’ll be able to use this one even if you don’t have a Wifi connection or aren’t close to any phone tower.”

“What!? How!?”

“It’s linked into one of the Heroics main recon satellites, it has a GPS function that’ll show you the map and your location no matter where you are, it also has the emergency button. It’ll alert your dad, me, or the Heroics mission control station. It has many more functions, I think, but that’s all I remember. Tech-no included a manual, you’ll get it once you turn it on. Oh yeah! Almost forgot, aside from being able to use conventional charging cables, I don’t know how but he also included solar panels.”

“OMG! I can’t believe it!! It’s the best gift ever!! Thank you!!!” Missy jumped from her place on the floor to tackle you in a hug.

“You’re welcome, I thought it could come in handy now that you’re in the saving the world business with us.” You said with a laugh.

“Hey, Missy, you still want the big box? We can exchange.” Marcus said with raised eyebrows.

“No way! This is mine, I’m gonna go charge it. Thankyousomuch, goodnight, bye.” With that Missy took off running towards her room.

“Hey, don’t forget to brush your teeth!” He reminded her.

“I won’t!”

You both heard the door to her room slam close.

“Wow Y/n, you didn’t have to.”

“It’s no big deal Marcus, you know how much I love her, and I worry. She’s too much like you.” You said staring at him.

“Wha-what’s that supposed to mean?” He said feigning offense.

“I mean it in a good way! She’s kind and selfless, headstrong, brave, and so intelligent. What we do is dangerous, and now that she's exposed to it, well, knowing her she won’t stay behind anymore. All we can do is give her the tools to keep herself and her team as safe as possible.”

Could you be any more perfect? He knew you loved his daughter, it’s always been clear to him, but could she love him just as much?

“You know now I have to try and top that gift next year, right? There’s no way anything I got her this one is going to top yours.” He said with the most serious face he could muster.

“That was the point.” You answered with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

“Mala.” he said, squinting his eyes at you.

“You think I’m bad!?” you gasped, “I’ll show you bad mister.” You stand up from your seat, you walk in your Christmas themed socks; boots long forgotten in favor of comfort; towards the tree to take the gift you brought for him. “No present for you, I’m going to keep it.” You said smugly .

“Now that’s not fair.”

“Oh, I think it is.”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“What? What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said I’m sorry, oh benevolent woman! Goddess of the amazing Christmas presents! I kneel before you.”

“You’re ridiculous.” You laughed at him.

“The things I have to do for a present.”

“You didn’t really kneel.”

“You serious?” he asked flabbergasted.

“No. Now open your gift before I change my mind.”

Marcus eagerly tore the paper apart, revealing a thinner wooden box than the one Missy received. Inside, Marcus found an old throwing knife.

You stared at him, holding your breath as he opened the gift, it wasn’t some cutting edge piece of tech, but you knew how much that knife meant to him.

He was speechless, he instantly recognized it the moment his eyes laid on the engravings of the blade, this had been one of his father’s throwing knives. While not exactly a superhero, his father had served in the army as part of a special secret division. He had preferred knives instead of guns. And he taught Marcus everything he knew about them, that was the reason he had chosen to fight with swords, in memory of his father.

But how, how could you have gotten hold of one of his knives, they had been lost during his last mission.

“I-I, how-” He swallowed hard “How did you find it?”

“Well, I remembered what you told me, about your dad, what he did and a-about your dad’s last mission and well, remember last time I took some days off a few months ago? I did some research and found the town he had gone to. I asked around and I found this old lady, she treated your father’s wounds at some point during his mission and he tried to pay her by giving her one of his knives, she never sold it. I told her about you and well, she insisted on returning the blade to you.” You finished your tale a little bit breathless, he became really quiet when he opened the box.

He couldn’t believe you remembered that, it’s been so long since he told you about his father.

Had it been a mistake to search for the blade? Did you overstep? Maybe you should have told him before going on that trip.

“Marcus, I’m sorr-” One moment you were trying to apologize to him and the next you were being enveloped in a pair of strong arms.

“Thank you.” He said breathless, leaving a kiss on top of your head. “This means so much to me.” You just smiled and hugged him back.

You stayed like that, relishing in the feeling of his arms around you, holding you tight to his chest.

This woman, this wonderful, amazing, beautiful woman… fuck it, he knew what he had to do.

You felt a pang of sadness and longing as Marcus’ arms began to retreat from around you.

“Wait here. I-I need to go get something.” You watched as he left the box with his gift on the table, stood from his seat and disappeared around a corner.

 Calm down, calm down, it was just a hug. You told yourself.

Marcus came back to sit beside you a minute or so later holding a small baby blue box with a white ribbon on top in his hands.

“I-I’ve been waiting for the right moment to give you this. It’s nothing like what you gave us but…I hope you like it.” He reached for your hands and left the box in your palms.

Upon a closer look, you noticed the box came from a jewelry store, an expensive one at that. You opened it carefully, not wanting to damage the little box. Inside the box, lying on a silky looking piece of fabric, you saw a beautiful heart shaped golden locket, there was a flowery design with some vines on the surface giving it some texture.

“Marcus!” You gasped. “You didn’t have to; this must’ve been really expensive.”

“Go ahead, open it.” You did as he said not lifting the heart from its silky bed. Inside, you found a small picture of Marcus, Missy and you.

You remembered that one was taken during Missy’s birthday last year, in the picture the three of you were laughing, your faces dirty with cake frosting from the small war that took place moments before his mother had taken the picture without them noticing.

“Marcus! This is beautiful, thank you so much!” You were about to hug him when he raised a hand to stop you.

“There’s more.” You were confused, he was acting a bit strange, you noticed he was tense as you looked from him and back to the necklace. “Turn it around.”

Once more you did what he said, closing the locket you took it in your palm noticing something engraved into it. On the back you found that it was indeed engraved. It read:

‘For the holder of my heart~’

It’s now or never. He held his breath as he watched you read the words. He began to worry when you didn’t show any kind of reaction.

“What?” you whispered, it can’t be, could this mean, did he, what?

“I-I was going to wait to give it to you, I had this elaborate plan, I wanted to ask you out, take you to a nice restaurant, then maybe we’d go to a park or something. I also thought of giving it to you on your birthday, but then we got kidnapped by aliens and I lost the courage, because what if I ruined everything? What if I ruined our friendship just because I fell in love and you didn’t feel the same? Then things would’ve become awkward and we’d stop hanging out and eventually we would’ve become strangers and I never want that to happen, I want you, I want you in my life, in our lives and I can’t imagi-”

“Marcus.” You interrupted him. “You love me?”

“More than anything.”

“How long?”

“Long time now.” You nodded slowly. Your brain still trying to process everything he just said, but mainly repeating ‘he loves me!’ over and over again.

“Can you... help me put it on?” you gesture to the necklace still in your hands.

He nodded, taking it in his hands as you turned around for him. He didn’t understand what was happening, you were still here, you asked him for his help to put his gift on, so that was something good, right?

“Done.” He said stunned as you turned around to face him with the biggest most beautiful smile he’s ever seen.

“You love me?” You asked again. Your voice, now full of emotion, a stark contrast from the flat one you used a moment ago.

“Yes.”

“You really, really love me?” now he was getting confused.

“Yes Y/n, I love you, you and only you.”

“Good. Because I love you too.” He barely had time to react before your lips were on his and just like that, time stopped, right there, in that moment, there was only you, the feeling of your lips on his, the pounding of his heart, the feeling of your hands, your fingers as they carded through his hair.  

He couldn’t get enough of you. He pulled you closer to him until you ended up straddling his lap, his hands on your hips, your lips moving in perfect sync with his as if it wasn’t the first time you kissed. His senses overwhelmed by you and how you made him feel.

Suddenly, you leaned back, ending the kiss with a smack; much too soon for his liking; leaving you both a panting mess.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamt of you saying that, of you feeling the same way.” You said breathless, giving him a small peck when you finished talking. 

“Oh, honey-is, is it okay if I call you that?”

“It’s more than ‘okay’ Marcus.” You said laughing.

“I’m glad, because I’ve been dying to call you all kinds of beautiful names. And me too, honey; I’ve imagined countless times telling you how I feel about you. I’m so sorry it took me this long to tell you.” He pulled you in, claiming your mouth again, in a kiss more intense than the first one making you moan. You felt his tongue lick your lips, silently asking for entrance, letting go of your inhibitions you let him explore the insides of your mouth, your own tongue tangling with his.

This time he ended the kiss, making you whine from the loss of contact.

“I want you, but tell me to stop, and I will.” He whispered in your ear, “Tell me if it’s too soon and I’ll stop.” he sucked on your earlobe before leaving a trail of kisses down your neck, alternating between kissing and sucking on the sensitive skin there.

“Don’t you dare stop Marcus.” you gasped, “Don’t you think we’ve waited long enough?” you asked as you ground your hips against his earning a groan in response.

He returned to your lips for one more hungry kiss before outright growling “Hold on tight, honey. Let’s take this somewhere more comfortable.” His hands slid from your hips to your ass, supporting you as he stood from the cushions making you squeal in surprise. Your arms went around his neck as you tried not to fall backward.

“Marcus! Warn me next time.” You admonished him “What about Missy? What if she hears us?” You ask as he begins to walk towards the part of the house you knew led to the bedrooms.

“That’s why we’re going to my room, so we don’t have to worry, it’s soundproofed. Now like you said, we’ve waited long enough.” He squeezed your ass before latching his lips on your neck again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

He stirred awake, with the feeling of your hand drawing mindless patterns on his naked chest. With a smile, he remembered what happened last night when he finally confessed to you, and what happened after as well.

He let his eyes open, slowly, letting them adjust to the little morning light that managed to seep through the curtains. He turned his head to look at you, your head resting on the hand that wasn’t drawing shapes on his chest.

He smiled at you, lifting one of his hands to hold yours, lifting it from his chest to place a kiss on your knuckles.

“Hey. Merry Christmas.” You greeted him with a smile.

“Merry Christmas indeed. Did you sleep well, honey?” he asked, lowering your hand in his and resting it on his chest right over his heart.

“Better than ever.” You gazed into each other’s eyes for a moment before leaning in at the same time to share a sweet, slow kiss.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” He mumbled against your lips.

“Who would save the world if we did?” You managed to ask between little pecks to his lips.

“I bet the others can do it just fine.”

“Okay, well, who would keep Missy out of trouble?”

“Yeah, I don’t think either of us can keep her from that.” he stared at you, before saying your name. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Marcus.”

You stayed in bed, in each other’s arms, until one of you remembered that neither of you turned off the tv last night, and he remembered the cinnamon rolls had been left on the counter in the kitchen.

Once dressed, Marcus in his pajamas and you in one of his shirts (that almost made the both of you stay in bed longer) and a pair of pants that he let you borrow to keep you comfortable, you set out to clean the living room.

When that was done, you set to work together inside the kitchen preparing breakfast for everyone, reheating the cinnamon rolls and making fresh coffee.

The two of you were soon joined by Missy, whose only reaction to the two of you being now together-together was a very happy, very exasperated ‘Finally!’.

He looked at his little family with a smile on his face as he sat down on the table. He could finally say that this Christmas he finally received what he’s always wished for, what he’s been yearning to have for years.

Your heart.

Tag list: @mindless--ramblings​ @oloreaa​ @16boyfriends-and-me​ If anyone wants to be added or removed from the taglist, or wants to only be tagged for certain characters, please let me know.

[obsessedwvampbois]

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐋 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬

Oh boy so this is gonna make people really mad. I have listened to a total of 52 songs from the Diabolik Lovers franchise (that I could find) and ranked them for the hell of it. For this ranking I will be including all character songs, openings (both anime and game) along with the remixes. I will not be counting solo versions of songs (eg. Gin no bara), soundtrack bgm or the endings themes.

My ranking is based on these things:

how well does the song fit the character/s or game, both in lyrics and aesthetic

the overall production and performance of the song

is the song a bop? would I willingly listen to it again?

Couple of disclaimers: I do not speak Japanese so I will be crediting the translations of each song as I go through them along with any think pieces / essays that I come across. If there is any song I missed, please let me know and I’ll slot it into the rankings, its hard to find one source that has all the songs recorded. Finally, just a reminder because I know I'm gonna make someone mad, this is my list! If you don't like it make your own or ignore mine, I'm only one person and my opinion is not final!

With that in mind, my rankings are below the cut

*Least Best*

These are the songs I will probably never listen to again. I have a few gripes with them that I'll talk about in my explanation.

52. 誓いのカンパネラ (Chikai no Campanella)

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This song is just super underwhelming overall. The guitar is my favourite thing about the song but that's it. There is so much build up for a boring chorus. The lyrics don't have much for me either.

51. 血戦のDies irae (Kessen no Dies irae)

Tsukinami Brothers

~translation~

On the opposite end, this song is so overwhelming. There are so many elements to follow and its hard to keep up. This is the first time I'll bring it up but the volume of the voices is so quiet compared to the backing track, its frustrating. The lyrics is what brings it up a notch as it talks about the day of wrath (dies irae) as the day the founders take over. I was also low key hoping to hear some version of the dies irae song hidden in the background but I couldn't hear any.

50. S.O.S-ΑtoΩ-

Tsukinami Brothers

~translation~

This song just feels so forgettable, I just feel like there isn't much to comment on. There are some interesting lyrics sprinkled out like comparing literal self mutilation to abstinence. Also the actual delivery of 'S ah O ah S ah', I can't take it seriously.

49. Dystopia

Kino

~translation~

This had an interesting start because I hadn't heard anything similar for DL but then after a few lines the tone change was just a nope for me. Again, Kino's voice is super quiet and the constant barrage of all these instruments that don't really gel together its confusing. Overall, it didn't leave much of an impression and I couldn't really visualised DL in the song.

48. 吸愛ラビリンス (Kyūai Labyrinth)

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

Praise for the saxophone! Props to that because it shines here and is really the only memorable thing besides that final line of the chorus. The song does give the vibe of the Vandead Carnival with its more playful energy though. The lyrics feel really typical, like there are so many times I read lyrics about drinking blood before I get bored.

47. 極限(UNLIMITED) BLOOD -Remix ver.-

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation w/ original ver.~

I don't think I really need to hear EDM/dubstep and Diabolik Lovers again thanks. It feels super dated and the vocoded singing is a little much for my taste. Good source material and the stripped back vocals at some points is quite nice.

46. 愛しきPain (Itoshiki Pein)

Subaru

~translation~

First off please never let me see Subaru near a fedora again thanks. Overall I felt bored with this song, like its nice, but that it. There are similar sounding songs that just hit home similar themes a lot stronger later on. The best part of this song is the spoken word but it feels weird for Subaru to be singing such a slow song.

45. Luv Apple Juice

Ruki & Azusa

~translation~

Yes, I am counting Ruki's spoken word, its my list. Lyrics are a must read with references to Adam, Eve and Eden throughout. Again, the voices are super quiet and with how fast paced the instrumentals are its annoying. The tempo also backfires because these are two of the more 'chill' characters. The last complaint is that the speed of Ruki's speaking compared to Azusa's singing just isn't right.

44. DIE IS CAST

Kou & Yuma

~translation~

This has to be my least favourite opening to a song, the staccato is just really grating to me. The way I'd describe the chorus is loud, the same note over and over again isn't appealing. The lyrics are an interesting read but nothing feels super important. The highlight of the song is the pre-chorus, thanks production!

43. カレイドナイト (Kaleido Night)

Kanato & Subaru

~translation~

This song is just generic, like overall. The sound, the lyrics, the production. There just wasn't must for me to listen to without zoning out.

*Average*

These songs don't leave too much of a lasting impression on me, but I still enjoy them.

42. 苺の罪 (Ichigo no Tsumi) (strawberry sin)

Reiji

~translation~

First of the generic rock songs! I couldn't really find much in the lyrics of note I think the actual performance of the song is my favourite element here.

41. 真夜中の饗宴( MIDNIGHT PLEASURE) -Remix ver.

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation w/ original~

One the best part of the original is that opening section with the steps, it creates some nice anticipation for the coming song. The chorus this time round feels a little low energy after the hype of the pre-chorus. After watching the actual opening with the remix, I kind of wish they had the voice over, the song is so chill the last chorus could have it to make it feel more grandiose.

40. ZERO

Subaru

~translation~

Second generic rock song, this time it actually suits Subaru's brand! The lyrics do have some hints to Subaru as a character which is better. My sustaining thought is that this sounds like an off brand Arcadia.

39. Bloody★Mayim★Mayim

Sakamaki Brothers

~translation~

This has to have one of the strongest hooks for DL. For how many people sing in the song, it's easy to keep track of and the chemistry between them all is in sync. The main issue is that it feels like its missing some element to make it shine, the lyrics aren't in-depth too which brings it down another peg. The bridge/interlude is the best part though as I can visualise some mini story within the song here.

38. ADDICTED (2) PHANTOM

Ayato

~translation~

This song would be so much higher if I felt like it was more memorable cuz the lyrics here really shine. My interpretation is that this is Ayato questioning where his love stops and his sadistic nature to satiate his desires begin, can he separate the two? He both loves and despises the idea of draining his s/o dry. Another gripe with the song is that its not quite Ayato's aesthetic sonically.

37. Kindan no 666 (Three Six)

Kou & Azusa

~translation~

What puts this song so low is the majority of the instrumental, it takes a backseat here when I feel there could be more added. Props to percussion, drums are great though. After watching the MB opening so many times its hard to not see DL. Lyrics match with this one line here describing Kou in a nutshell:

"Sin spread from mouth to mouth, saying 'I’ll be gentle' pulls the trigger on a casual disaster!"

36. Iolite (アイオライト )

Shu

~translation~

I don't know why the producers associate electro-pop with Shu, I can't really see it much. I think they should have gone full glitch-pop instead considering how the song does a deep dive into his mind and thought process. Again, I think the voice is also quiet here but the instrumentals have some great moments, especially the strings.

35. 常夜KNOW UNDERSKIN

Sakamaki

~translation~

Well this gives Sakamaki vibes, nice guitar! Again, I like how it isn't overwhelming despite the amount of people involved. Lyrics aren't super impactful but super catchy.

34. 冷たい血 (Tsumetai Chi)

Ruki

~translation~

You have to read the lyrics while reading this, please! Its surprisingly wholesome and emotional overall. Again, there is the issue of the voice being way to quiet as the instrumentals swallow him whole after the second clock tick. The delivery is really well timed and production does a great job adding elements that works with the lyrics. There is a subtle echo to the voice that feels super enchanting as he comes to terms with the fact that he has fallen in love. Biggest drawback obviously is that this is just spoken word.

33. KISS♥MARK

Shu

~translation~

This song delves into the more perverse side of Shu, but we haven't really reached the level of Laito (we'll get there). The phone feels a little out of character but it suits that narrative. The straight cut out of music for the intermission was a bit abrasive but the transition back to music makes me forget about that with how slick it is. At least its better than a generic rock song.

32. カモフラージュ (Camouflage)

Shu & Laito

~translation~

What a great match up for subject matter, my interpretation is a denial and inability to accept oneself, ultimately using a mask to hide. So please look up the lyrics for some gems. However, after the 'against the blood' nothing really hit that same point sonically, furthermore its not the most aesthetically fitting for the two characters.

*Great*

These songs I actively enjoy, think about and do listen to occasionally and would recommend you check it out too.

31. >REDRUM<-

Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This song is full of anagrams in the lyrics, I mean look at the song title. Its super catchy and is hard to forget about. The bridge is the weakest part of this song but it is made up by the distortion of vocals after the final chorus.

30. Fanatic of Night

Sakamaki Brothers

~translation~

Well time to party, talk about a bop and a half! Its just so fun, even though its to exactly DL to me, but that's Lunatic Parade for you. Shout out to the guitarist and percussion once again.

29. Bad Howling

Shu, Ayato & Kou

~translation~

This is super catchy, its nice to hear Kou in the opening song this time round, it spices things up. Theres some really nice elements played with the vocals as they sing over one another that is really well balanced. The biggest peg down is that I don't get super DL vibes and the lyrics aren't the deepest.

28. I.M.I.T.A.T.I.O.N. G.A.M.E

Kino

~translation~

Overall this song is a little generic and doesn't sound like DL but! There is a lot to love here too. Starting off with the performance, I really like the vibrato in his voice and the decent of notes at the end of the chorus is just, yes. It a nice hook and the lyrics are pretty good too. My only other complaint is that the drums mask some smaller elements in the background of the song which would have been nice to hear more in the forefront.

27. 極限(UNLIMITED) BLOOD

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This is where the rankings get pretty hard cuz I wish this was higher but oh well. the dramatic shift from the opening piano to the song is so abrupt but it gets you pumped. The intermission does a good job of changing things up without cutting tension. The lyrics themselves seem to be from the view of the Adam project during more blood and the unquenchable thirst they get in the story.

26. アルカディア (Arcadia)

Ayato

~translation~

Immediately I get Ayato vibes from this song and the rapping does help too with a nice flow that isn't too jarring from the rest of the song. These lyrics are basically Addicted2Phantom on steroids, I can't see anyone else other than Ayato in them.

25. Kekkyoku Night

Ayato

~translation~

Don't know why but the guitar melody just seems like I had heard it before but I can't put my finger on it. The bass is super slick here and I really enjoy it. The vocal distortion at the start of the verse sets a scene for him to hunt down this person and its a narrative choice. The main issue is that I wish there was a little more pizzaz to the chorus.

24. Kaikan DEATH-TRUCTION

Kanato

~translation~

Spoilers but I have placed both a Kanato's songs pretty high up so this was a little bit of a let down after the other two. The main issues here is that I don't really get too much of Kanato in the song and the yelling before the chorus is a little much. This, to me, is a self reflection from Kanato which is a good switch up from his last two songs. Overall, the song is abrasive in a good way that isn't overwhelming and the 8-bit section is my fave.

23. 血濡れた密会 (BLOODY SABBATH)

Laito

~translation~

Oh boy, look these lyrics up for a good time. This song is about his hook up with a women with the song getting progressively darker as it goes on. Nice psycho reference but I don't know if it does much in the end. Really catchy hook and the escalation of the final chorus is just so good. Also I'm just going to leave this line from the song here:

“You wend all out with the rodeo girl play? So then, let’s grind!!!”

22. 幻日理論-Parhelion Logic

Ayato

~translation~

This song is meant to be kind of an open letter to Cordelia and my word these lyrics are haunting. It fits the vibe of Haunted Dark Bridal so well, super strong overall. I just wish there was a stronger performance vocally.

21. 暴言シンドローム (Seiron Syndrome)

Yuma

~translation~

Yuma, to me has some pretty good observation skills and its really highlighted here. The first line just hits the nail on the head in terms of how rough he is both in and out of the bedroom. This song is the best of the 'generic rock' with production being really smooth despite the high energy, it matches him really well. First line:

The pain of your sprained neck won’t subside

20. 蠱惑のParade (Kowaku no Parade)

Reiji & Kanato

~translation~

We got another catchy banger here! This song just screams 'the two of us are here to hunt you down and we won't stop till we get a taste.' I mean this song is super pleasing aesthetically and great lyrics to boot!

19. KILLYOU,AGAIN

Azusa

~translation~

The strings are an immediate attention grabber and its hold it throughout the whole song. Super catchy, and these lyrics are Azusa, especially this chorus. Id be interested to hear what people think about the second verse in particular cuz there's a lot to read into:

"In a worn out state of mind, no matter how many nights we question it... We’ve idealised too much."

18. SQueeze…

Subaru

~translation~

Okay before anything else, the squeeze at the start is goofy, I can't take it seriously. Anyway, I can't help but tap my foot to this song. Third times the charm, finally hitting Subaru's aesthetic to a T. The voice is a little quiet on the track but what takes over just sounds so good. The contrast of the bell and the guitar is just, yes thank you. The pre-chorus is a nice mix up to the status quo and these lyrics are great too.

17. 愛の檻 (Ai no Ori)

Ayato & Laito

~translation~

The opening is a nice tone setter for a haunting head bopper. These voices work together so well, just like how the sirens work with the strings. The singular violin during the bridge is great, praise to anyone who can do that my god. The string motif climaxes at the final chorus and it creates an awesome song!

16. 月蝕(Eclipse)

Kou, Yuma & Azusa

~translation~

Well we have a nice build up ballad here. The opening is a little out of place but I forget about it as it builds to this final chorus with the tempo getting faster and faster. The stripped back production also ends up aiding the song in the end with its punches and message. Speaking of which; I get the idea this is about watching some either currently or in retrospective how their personality changes after turning into a vampire; a loss of innocence. How fitting for the Mukami's.

“Despising the sunlight that filters through the blinds is only inevitable, I suppose”

*Faves*

This is what I think the best of the best is. It reflects the themes, ideas and characters of Diabolik Lovers in the best way possible. When people ask me what music from the franchise to listen to, I point to these songs.

15. Count off

Kino

~translation~

There is so much to talk about here, this is a mix of singing and spoken piece and it works so well for me. The delivery over this contagious beat I can't help but get hints of a k-pop vibe here. The movement to singing then vocoded voice are interesting and fun. The bridge switch up too is great, my only wish is that the choir hand a little more presence in the final chorus cuz its fun the first times round, it would be a nice call back.

14. A Certain Prophet's Fate [とある預言者の、運命 Toaru Yogensha no Unmei]

Reiji

~translation~

I can visualise a Nutella Kookie moodboard with this opening alone. To me, this is Reiji explain his views on women with allusions to Faust too, not the Ikemen version relax. there are some cool allusions to his mother in the lyrics too. The bass is so cool to listen out for and the guitar nodding to the chorus at the end is a nice way to end. I was just hoping for a little continuation to the opening like Reiji finding this person escaping on horseback.

13. CHAOS☆PARTY

Laito

~translation~

Aaaaaand another innuendo song from Laito, what a surprise! The jazzy, circus-pop vibes are super fun and catchy, I love it. It's like an upgraded version of Bloody Sabbath to me. The distortion on the guitar is also great to listen out for.

"Don’t decide where’s the critical point, grind as you feel it,

Till the moon oh, mockingly"

12. Mr.ButterflyMask

Reiji

~translation~

The opening may be cliche but it works so well, this is such a deep dive into Reiji's psyche; his mother, inferiority complex and village burning to name a few. The actual song is easy to remember which makes it even better here, the descending notes at the end of the chorus is a highlight.

"Burnt black, that awful land mark"

11. 真夜中の饗宴 (MIDNIGHT PLEASURE)

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

The song to start it all, thank god it's such a highlight. I get so hyped from hearing the opening footsteps; mirroring the prologue with You stepping into the mansion for the first time. I feel so nostalgic for this and I'm hyped to play the game every time I hear this. The spoken section is the high point in terms of the HDB aesthetic but these lyrics maaaannn:

"With a scream that shatters the moon itself I’ll give you this extraordinary pain called “love”!"

10. Guilty×Guilty!!!

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

I'm gonna get crucified for putting this above midnight pleasure but my list and this is my fave game op. The only peg down is the lyrics but it makes up so much for the actual sound variation. The unnerving energy from this scifi-y noise, it screams danger with the Tsunami arrival. The variation between the two verses in robs what places it high and the bridge is excellent to boot.

9. Farewell Song

Shu

~translation~

If I had to make one song recommendation outside of DL with this list it is this song here. The lyrics and melody match up the same way and both are strong in their own right. Onto the song, these lyrics really shine wrangling with ideas and the thought process of depression; something that hits close to home for me. With the inclusion of the destructive nature vampires its truely impactful. The sound of the song aids these lyrics too while all sounding like Shu.

Without pause, the drops of a drizzle had begun to weep...

...Comforting the screams of the things you’ve touched"

8. Mr.SADISTIC NIGHT

Shu, Ayato & Subaru

~translation~

This is my favourite opening of all the games and anime and it is the most on theme with the DL franchise, not just the one game. The guitar rifts at the start are just sooooo iconic. The actual line "Mr Sadistic Night" is delivered so well too. I mean the song speaks for itself. I will make the observation though that this song is the epitome of kids unknowingly singing a song with dirty lyrics.

"If I’m so aroused by the snare of your enticing blood

Tonight, as I thrust deep into you, a lust for death awakens from within you!"

7. 悪魔的（Devil's）Spire!!!!

Kou

~translation~

This song is just Kou at his best, I can imagine him singing this at a concert as a debut single. It has all the elements of a catchy pop song with some sinister elements that just reflects his personality. Production has my praise here too. The song seems to be a friends with benefits situation Kou has as he recounts the tale. Also, more innuendos:

"In the deep red velvet sheets, Do you want to taste my forbidden syrup?"

6. Operation X

Tsukinami Brothers

~translation~

Haven't seen these guys in a while! You can tell production had fun adding all these medical sounds in the back like the sirens and heart monitor. The song itself is super catchy too, that bass just hits you at the core! The lyrics look like the Tsukinami's observation of You as she has become entangled with all these vampires and the situation just seems to spiral even more out of control.

"The risk spreads further the deeper you get involved...

...The more you give up, the more that guy mocks you"

5. GRATEFUL★DEAD★MARCH

Kanato

~translation~

Production had fun again, you can tell. It's more upbeat there is still a sinister vibe here. The constant switch ups within the song all flow so well. I feel genuine despair listening to this chorus, like Kanato is mocking or toying with me before going in for the kill. My only complaint is that the slowing down at the end is a bit of a mood killer.

4. 切断★舞踏会 (KIRISAKI CARNIVAL)

Kanato

~translation~

In terms of character aesthetic, this is sheer perfection. There is a narrative within this song that you need to look at the lyrics for the best experience. The sound effects act as a good way to heighten the story as they match the lyrics. One moment to note it both the chorus and pre-chorus as they act as the extreme ends on Kanato's personality and it creates a great dichotomy when placed together.

3. Q.E.D.

laito

~translation~

My favourite solo song, and the one I constantly visit the most. Laito is a complex character and this song does a self reflection in the best way possible.I would also recommend reading this great analysis by everything laito because I can't do a proper analysis justice. For the song itself, the piano is a great mood setter as it acts as if we are approaching Laito as he plays the piano about to go into one of his many monologues to himself. The intercut from the piano to the guitar is abrupt but it works so well as if there are crack in his facade showing through. The change back to the piano is great too and isn't distracting in any way. I also think this is such an emotional performance, like I can feel the sadness and despair along with almost a self deprecating humour to the delivery. Top notch stuff

2. 罠-If You’re Diablo- (Wana -If You’re Diablo-)

Mukami Brothers

~translation~

I want mention first off that the spoken word from Ruki is such an aid here, the pace is slower, more haunting and despair-inducing in tone. The speaking adds a nice break to the vocals. The chorus in particular packs such a punch its kind of nice to lie on the ground and just let the song envelop you. The lyrics give the impression that there is a mutually destructive relationship here with the Mukami's mentioning of betrayal yet they suck the blood of this person. There is also a feeling of hopelessness that the Mukami's know they can never achieve their goal of becoming Adam.

"I'd been resigned to become Adam since who-knows-when...

I continue to hate this fate, my prayers in zero"

1. Gin no Bara

Sakamaki Brothers

~translation~

And we're finally at the end! This song encapsulates everything that Diabolik Lovers is. Vocally, it's really catchy with such a somber vibe, because that's what DL is. It's a dark series but you can see that darkness with each backstory, the actions these characters take and just the overall hopelessness in this one song. The Sakamaki's all singing together packs such a punch too. There are so many gems in these lyrics, to literally acknowledging the pain and suffering their mothers' caused and coming to terms with the actions they have committed as they fall in love.

"The proof remains on your neck while you sleep quietly Even if an eternal curse awaits me beyond those overflowing tears

I now hold this love and pain in my chest"

*SHOUTOUTS*

I want to give a huge shout out to the following people. They have helped immensely with translation and just overall accessibility to the songs because they would be 1000 times more harder to find without them.

Silvermoon249 (Live Journal)

Asyqin98 Creator (YouTube)

S I s o v o l i (Youtube)

DIABOLIK LOVERS (YouTube)

Dialovers otaka (Tumblr)

Starlight voices (Tumblr)

Cannonette (Tumblr) @canonette

The Precious Sugar Chan (Tumblr)

One final note, I would recommend listening to these with headphones because the audio sometimes does that thing where it jumps from ear to ear and it creates the best effect to be more involved in the atmosphere.

[dabiboy]

Hawks and reader are both virgins, doing it for the first time ! The mans busy, he hasn’t got a chance to smash yet 😆

I’m so so so so sorry this one took me ages 😭 I finished it just now, after like two weeks, hope you enjoy it!

[Warnings: NSFW, protected sex, virgin Hawks and reader, curses] Word count: 4343.

Free Fall 

''I really don't understand why did we have to travel all around the globe to see a suspect.'' You whined as you left the bags in the middle of Keigo's apartment.

''Commission rules, you know how they are kid. Can't tell them no'' Keigo walked across the apartment stretching his wings wide, it was lucky that he didn't break anything.

You and Hawks worked together, you were not trained by the commission but they were aware of your abilities, and decided that you and Hawks should work with each other. And that's how you ended traveling to California, but the guys they had checked was just a suspect, and it turned out that he had nothing to do with your case, so in order not to waste more time you had to fly back all the way to Japan. And there you were, feeling tired as hell in Hawk's apartment.

''I hate them so much'' You said again, taking your shoes off. ''Mind if I take a shower?''

''Go ahead, and you need it. You stink'' Keigo teased as he let himself fall on the couch.

You were not only working partners, but the two of you were also very good friends, trusting enough to ask him to get a shower. And even borrowing one of his shirts without asking him. So that's what you did when you got out. The bathroom was inside his room, so the first thing you saw when you got out was the large and comfy bed. Damn, you wish you could just lay there and have some good sleep. His bedroom was rather big, kinda messy but tidy at the same time, and it smelled like him, his perfume and scent. Maybe it was a bird thing, you thought. But it wasn't uncomfortable, on the contrary. It was nice.

After picking a random Keigo's shirt, you went back to the living room, and the blonde man's eyes went wide at your image. His shirt too big for your body, covering almost half of your thighs. Naked thigs. Maybe later you were going to ask him for a sweatpant.

"Earth to Hawks?" You called him with a smile by the third time. "You good?"

"What? Yeah, I just love that shirt" he could say.

"Oh, should I take it off? I don't mind"

"No, keep it on. It looks good on you" he scratched the back of his head as he stood up "I will take a shower too. Are you crushing here tonight or want me to fly you home? It is pretty late though"

"Oh, I'm not a damsel in distress, winged hero" you lifted an eyebrow "but I was thinking of staying, I feel too lazy to go out. Besides it is cold as hell" you pouted.

"Oh shut up" Keigo let out a low chuckle "Ok then, make yourself home" that was the last thing he said before heading to the bathroom.

The truth was, that things between you were kind of complicated. You had a crush on him, but you were good at hiding it. How could you not fall for someone like him? He was funny, caring, handsome, a bit of an asshole but that was part of his charm. However, you knew him a bit more than the rest. You had seen him worried after you got injured on a mission, or sad whenever he had failed. Or done something he wasn't proud of. You even knew his real name, but it was not common to call him like that.

But it thinking about it was not making things different. He was a busy man, and he should have an army of women behind him, there was no way he had the same feelings for you. You were just friends. That's it.

Minutes went by, and after drying your hair you went back to Hawk's room, it was about time to borrow those sweat pants. However, you got distracted when you saw the view from his room; the entire city shining at your feet. Your eyes went bright to at such beauty.

"What are you looking at?" A Keigo dressed in a tank top and grey sweatpants took you out of your thoughts.

"The city looks so pretty from here" you smiled "so many lights and colors. Don't you get distracted when you fly?"

"Yeah, sometimes when I'm just patrolling. Most times I don't even pay attention to it. To busy fighting the bad guys y'know" he laughed and stood next to you. ''It is not as bright as your smile, though'' Did he think his words? he didn't.

You felt your cheeks getting a bit red, what did he mean by that? He had it so clear. Since the day you walked into his office, he felt his blood rushing through his veins, the need to talk to you, to get to know you overwhelmed him. There was no way a jerk like him could get close to you. But it changed when you started working together, and it was as if two pieces of a puzzle finally found each other, working in perfect sync.

He looked back at you, a shy smile still plastered on his face. It isn't worth it to tell her how I feel, she must have a lot of guys waiting for her, Keigo thought. Or maybe he should risk it all, fuck it.

''Y/n? I-You'' He stopped ''You're the best sidekick I've had'' That was a compliment? You're an idiot, Hawks. He said to himself.

''Well, thank you. You make it easier though'' You gave him a sided smile as you left a strand of your hair behind your ear.

''Yeah, anytime'' Keigo smiled back at you.

There was a moment of pure silence between the two of you. His golden eyes were stuck on yours as yours were on his. You could swear he was analyzing every detail of your face, and you couldn't help but make your eyes take a little trip on his facial traits too. Smiles vanished as both of you realized what was happening, yet no one wanted to talk about it. Or let it out. Finally, Keigo parted his lips to let out some words but he got interrupted by his phone ringing.

''Shit, sorry. Gotta take this one'' He apologized, turning away from you quickly in an attempt of hiding his blush. He hated whoever was calling.

In the meantime, you let out a sight. It was the first time he had been so close to you, so close it was possible to see the definition of his stubble, a stronger color in his eyes, details that daily were unnoticed. Maybe you were crazy and those were hallucinations.

Getting away from your thoughts, you got closer to the big window, resting your hands on it as you look down drawn by the lights. But you had no idea that the window was not closed. Keigo left it open when he got out the last time. And there you were. Everything happened in a split of a second, the big window opening, you feeling the weight of your body being pulled down by gravity, Keigo ending his call and turning back at you. His eyes went wide and his wings puffed immediately.

That was it? That was the end of your life as a hero and as a human being? All those years of intense training were vanishing in a second. What the hell could you do if you were free-falling?

But there was one detail you forgot. Hawks was there.

His reflexes worked on time when he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you back in with the help of his wings to get the right amount of strength. He couldn't lose you, not before telling you everything he felt.

You ended up falling anyway, but not from the last floor of the building. You fell right on the floor, over the winged hero who had you secure in his arms. Keigo's wings hurt when he fell with his back on the floor, but you were fine. That's all he cared about.

''Shit kid, you good?'' He asked you, panic still present in his voice as he looked at you.

''Yes, damn that was so quick'' You let out a nervous laugh, and waited for a few seconds for him to set you free from his strong grip. ''Uhm, Hawks? You can-You can let me go now'' This time there was no nervousness from almost falling, they were because of the little distance that was between the two of you, the way his hands felt on your back and how his body felt against yours. Suddenly, his body started shivering lightly, and the following words just slipped out of his mouth.

''No, I can't. I really fucking can't... Ever'' He whispered that last word.

''What do you me-''

''Fuck it''

That was all you could hear before he slammed his lips on yours. It was a messy and shy kiss, but you felt even dizzier than when you were about to fall. He tasted like mint, and the way his stubble tickled your chin felt amazing. Your lips moved softly against him, in an attempt to calm him down.

''I like you. I fucking like you, y/n'' He said, eyes pleading for a positive answer ''I can't let you go cause I don't wanna be away from you. I just can't''

''Hawks...'' You whispered ''I-''

''Listen, you don't have to say it back. I know you must have lots of guys waiting for you, and better than me. With normal lives and-'' This time, you interrupted him crashing your lips with his one more time.

''I like you too, and there's no one else'' You said when your lips were still slightly touching ''You never leave my head, Hawks''

If someone were looking at that scene, they could notice the tension from miles away. And then they would ask, why do they keep wasting time? Hawks lifted his head to kiss you once more, this time eagerly. His hands found home on your hips as you softly rested your hands on his chest.

You felt your heart racing, it was the first time you found yourself in such a circumstance. It felt odd yet familiar, you didn't want it to stop. Daringly and as if it was an agreement the kiss turned into a heated one, his tongue caressing yours with need but with shyness.

''Call me Keigo'' He whispered as he sat on the floor, wings wide open.

You tangled your legs on his waist, feeling totally unsure about it. Was he comfortable? Was it like that? Those feelings and emotions you were experiencing, were normal? Thousands of questions roamed through your head as you continued kissing him. And then you felt it again, his hands shivering on your hips.

''You okay?'' You asked him tenderly, a hand caressing his cheek.

''Yeah, it's just...'' He looked away, hiding from your eyes. ''I've never...'' His golden eyes were looking at you again. Embarrassed, shy, and even scared. ''Damn, this must be so depressing'' Keigo scoffed, drifting his eyes away one more time. However, you felt a relief inside of you. And you couldn't help laughing a bit awkwardly.

''It's fine, I... I haven't either'' You shrugged your shoulders, his eyes lighted up looking up at you.

''Really?'' you nodded ''We can stop it here, though. I can go take another shower and-'' You shut him up again.

''I want you'' a whisper left your lips, sending shivers down his spine. You could feel now his hard crotch against you and your cheeks turned red.

''Are you sure you want me to be your first?'' Keigo's voice was almost unhearable, and you melt in tenderness when he caressed the back of your head with such affection.

''Are you sure?'' You laughed nervously.

''Totally'' His smile could brighten an entire city, and that night it was shining just for you. He moved a bit, creating friction between you and him. You let out a surprised yet pleasing whimper ''Shit, sorry''

''Don't worry, isn't that what is this all about?'' You laughed again.

''Yeah, you're right'' A kiss on your chin ''Come here''

He lifted you with ease so he could lay you down on his bed. And it was as comfortable as you thought it was. After a long struggle of getting rid of Keigo's shirt between laughs and jokes, he was kissing you tenderly and fiercely, feeling his own body shiver under your touch. You took the time to appreciate his body. It was not as muscular as other pro heroes, but his muscles were still well defined.

His lips on your neck feel like heaven, the way he kissed and lick your kiss had you wanting more, but the fear and the doubt were there too. And he could feel the exact same thing. Keigo's shaking hand move to the end of the shirt you were wearing. Once it was off, you tried to cover yourself. You were supposed to sleep in the guest's room that night, therefore wearing a bra after a long trip was not the best idea, but nothing said that you were going to be under Keigo's body.

He sat on his knees looking at you, jaw hanging low as he licked his lips.

''Shit, your gorgeous'' You heard him say as he crawled back to you again, kissing your mouth ''Can I touch you?'' His voice was still low, and even though he was trying to keep it cool the way his body was reacting was betraying him.

''Of course'' You said biting your lower lip.

His hand moved down until it reached your breast, cupping it delicately. He let out a sigh over your lips when he felt your hardening nipple against his palm. The slow squeezes were amazing. You were human, you had needs. You had done that before trying to stimuli yourself, but his touch was nothing compared to his. His was magical.

''I want to...'' Keigo said to himself as he lowered his face towards your chest. He licked your nipple and you moaned loud enough for him to hear it. He repeated his actions, kissing the underside of your breasts, sucking them tenderly, and trying to make you feel good. And God he was wishing he was doing it well. As he carried on with his not so shy ministrations, your hands touched his torso, feeling his warm skin on your hands. It was possible to feel his hard length pressing against your thighs, and surrendering to the temptation you played with the edge of his pants.

''Is it Ok if I-''

''Please do'' His voice came out a few octaves low as he went back to kiss your neck.

Carefully you slid one hand inside of his sweatpants, and he wasn't wearing underwear. How convenient. You gripped his hard cock on your hand, and your mouth went open in surprise. It was thick. And long. You gulped as you started moving your hand up and down, blushing when he bucked his hips.

''You can do it a bit tighter'' He said with a shy smile, and you did what he said ''Fuck, yes. Just like that''

The way his heavy breath was on your ear was working you up faster than you thought. And instinctively you moved your hips towards him as well. Keigo used one hand to get in between the two bodies, sliding his middle finger down your slit, trembling at how wet you were. It felt nothing like the porn videos he used to watch on the nights he needed some relief. A moan escaped your lips when you felt his finger on you, moving slow and even a bit fearfully.

In an attempt of digging your free hand on his back, it landed on one of his wings. They weren't as sharpened as you used to see them whenever he was fighting or patrolling, they were soft. You moved your hands through the feathers, but just when you did an erotic moan left his throat.

''Fuck don't do that, I won't last long if you touch my wings'' His voice was tight, making you knew that it was a sensitive area.

''Sorry'' You said, kissing his jaw ''They're just so soft'' The way you spoke in his ear sent shivers down his spine again, and as you kept stroking him he said in between breaths.

''I need you'' His voice was low but filled with excitement at the same time.

''Do you have a-'' Keigo finished for you.

''A condom, shit. Yes I do''

He suddenly remembered. Every single feeling was overwhelming him, it was the very first time he was in such a situation with a woman, and not with any woman. With you, the one who stole his breath from the very first time, the one that took care of his wounds, the one he tried to protect every day.

He stood up from the bed quickly, moving to the nightstand that was next to it. Nervously he looked among all the useful and useless things, and then he found them. Keigo remembered that night clearly, how one of his drunks friends at the party held in his apartment had told him to use them with some hot chick, but instead, he just kept them on the nightstand. To busy to do that while he was saving the world.

Going back to the bed he sat on his knees right in front of you. His chest was cleary moving up and down as he stared at you, and you could tell you were looking the same. Shy, exposed, uncertainty in your head, but confidence was in your head too. You trusted him with your life, and your feelings for him were strong. You just had to take that leap of faith. That free-falling.

''I will... Can I take them off?'' Keigo asked, looking at your still clothed sex.

''Yes'' you managed to say, feeling your face burn in embarrassment.

Carefully, he slipped the cotton piece down your legs, making you completely exposed to him. Your breathing became erratic, what was he going to think? Was it ok? But his eyes, his eyes were yelling his thoughts. They looked brighter, and the golden melted in them seemed shinier than never. Keigo licked his lips and swallowed at the image in front of him, and almost as a primal instinct he slid a finger on your wetness, making you and him moan.

''Fuck you're so wet'' He murmured, repeating his actions.

''Is that good?'' you asked timidly and a humming sound was made with your throat when he slid a finger along your cunt again.

''As far as I know, it is'' He laughed nervously. It was calming to know you weren't the only one feeling like that.

Your eyes went wide when he pulled his pants down, his cock sprang free from its confines, and just as you felt it when you stroke it earlier it was thick and long, not extremely big but it had a good size. And honestly a scary one for a first time. Even for him. With shaky hands Keigo opened the silver package, and after fast seconds he rolled the condom down his length.

''Ok,'' He took a deep breath, leaning close to you again. You moan when his erection rubbed your entrance, and you could feel your heart beating like crazy inside your chest. ''You sure about this?'' Keigo asked one last time.

''I am,'' You said ''But be gentle'' You said holding your breath for a short while.

''Sure thing'' He said above your lips ''I'm not less nervous than you are'' Keigo laughed, and the sound of it felt like peace among the sea of emotions you were at. ''I don't wanna screw this up'' Now he looked at you, eyes full with concern.

''It doesn't have to be perfect'' You reassured him, caressing his face, making him nod like an excited child who was trying to hide their emotion.

''I'm gonna do it'' A kiss on your lips ''Just tell me if it hurts and I'll stop, ok?''

After agreeing with his statement you looked at him getting on his knees again, pulling you closer to him. He spread your legs once he was in between them and with a shallow breath he grabbed his length, aligned it on your entrance. Softly he pushed his hips towards you, and a sharp pain made you close your eyes.

''Shit, are you good?'' Keigo stopped his motions immediately, not even thinking about the heat taking over his body.

''Yeah, you can go on'' You said clenching your jaw, adjusting to him.

He moved his hips a bit more, and a loud moan filled your ears. That felt a lot better than his hand. Keigo kept pushing slowly, hating the fact that he was hurting you. But it was supposed to stop, wasn't it? You moaned again, this time with a mix of pain and pleasure.

''Fuck your big'' You managed to say, closing your eyes again as he started to pull out slowly again.

''Sorry, not my fault'' He joked to lighten the mood. He bit his lower lips trying to oppress another moan. And without even pulling out completely he thrust inside you again, as slow as the first lunge. ''I... I need to move'' He said, closing his eyes with strength too.

You gave him a nod right after digging your fingers on his shoulders. Keigo's hips started moving again, a soft and steady pace as he was filing you up. He cursed at the feeling, so warm and so tight, he thought. It was hard to keep that steady pace with each thrust, but he waited. Waited until you felt comfortable enough.

The pain was becoming less by the second, at it was being replaced with pleasure. He felt so good, all of him. Not only the way he felt inside you, but the comfortable weight of his body on top of yours, his fresh scent after the shower, the praises he was whispering in your ear, all of that was bigger than the pain you felt with those first movements. And you loved it. It was with one specific thrust he hit the perfect spot, making you throw your head back and moan loudly, tangling your legs on his waist.

''More'' You said.

Maybe it was your instincts talking, but you didn't care. You wanted him, all of him.

Keigo's movements became sloppier, messier. He had never felt that way before, but it was amazing. And the truth was, that he wanted more as well. He moaned lowly, burying his face in your neck as he started pounding faster and deeper. You felt that tension building in your lower stomach, and when he twitched inside of you something tell you it was about to end.

''Fuck I'm close'' He said with a drowned voice.

''Do it, Keigo'' You caressed the back of his head while you whispered in his ear, the coldness of his earing feeling better than it should. How could a simple detail make you shiver?

Your hand traveled down his neck, to his back, and then to his wings. Another loud moan escaped his lips when your fingers dug in his feathers, playing softly with them. Lots of 'fucks' were leaving Keigo's mouth, and moans were leaving yours when he needly sped up.

And there it was. Something hit you, and it sent you right to the place where you could see the music and listen to the colors. You rolled your eyes to the back of your head, bucked his hips towards him as you fell into a void of just pleasure.

Keigo bit your neck as a growl was made with his throat, his hips still moving a bit as he came undone. His sweaty forehead landed on yours, and he couldn't control the urge to kiss you deeply.

''You good?'' He asked when he ran out of breath.

''Never been better'' You said with a lazy smile on your face, making him chuckle.

''I lasted too little'' Keigo almost apologized, as if that was a bad thing. Once again you caressed his face, pulling him in for another kiss.

''It was perfect'' You whispered in between his lips.

''Was it?'' A tiny smile appeared on his face ''Stay tomorrow. Let's have lunch, like a proper date. What do ya' say, mhm?'' He said, using the tip of his nose to trace your cheek.

''It was'' You assured him. Eyes went wide in joy and surprise at his proposal ''You won't be able to get rid of me, then'' You lifted an eyebrow in an attempt of being cocky but laughing right after.

''Fine with me'' Now it was him the one who was smiling cockily. His lips were on your again, smiling between the kiss. ''I guess you're not staying in the guest's room tonight, right?'' He looked at you, using his arms to make you free from his weight. He pulled out, and the two of you moaned lowly again.

''I wouldn't even think about it, I've been wanting to cuddle with you for so long'' You admitted making him laugh.

''Well that makes two of us'' A kiss on your chin ''You'll get all the cuddles you want'' A kiss on the tip of your nose.

''But first, we gotta take another shower''

''Yes, this is so messy'' Keigo laughed and threw the preservative to the trash bin next to the bed.

''Keigo'' You called him out of nowhere, and he looked at you like a confused bird at such a sudden call. ''I like you. A lot'' A shy smile was on your lips. He smiled widely.

''I like you too. So, so much'' He whispered, and pulled you in for another tender kiss. Good things were to come.

[demonslayedher]

Dream Analysis of Mugen Ressha

Spoilers for the movie, while it does not depart from the plot of the manga, they made adaptational choices which I may refer to within.

While Enmu has control over what kind of dream his victims see, ultimately, he would have no way of knowing all of the details of his victims' lives, so we can assume that he is prompting his victims to fill in a lot of the details themselves. These are the worlds they surround themselves with consciously, but their untouchable unconscious spaces say just as much.

I've said some of this before, but these dream sequences give us so much to say about Inosuke, Zenitsu, Kyojuro, and Tanjiro.

Into the dream: Did that "Rengoku-aniki" thing really happen???? It's animated like a fever dream (or drawn like a typical Gotouge-being-Gotouge panel), but both the movie and the manga leave this inconclusive. It can be interpreted two ways: 1. The two other demons were there all along as decoys, set to appear only when Enmu's blood technique slowly started to take effect so that they'd let their guard down. In this way, we'd know that the boys had a true way of witnessing Kyojuro's prowess and a true bonding moment, thereby making his death hit all the harder later. This would also mean that one of the cars was totally unusable for passengers, and many of the passengers were already thoroughly spooked before falling into sleep. It would also imply that they were all super excited, thoroughly relieved, returned to their seats, and then just passed out.

2. The moment the tickets were clipped, Enmu's very, very, very realistic dreams took immediate effect, but he still needed time before it took effect enough that their guards would go down. If this is the case, then it implies the following: 1. Enmu's illusions can be shared 2. Everyone syncs extremely well together to have all been sucked in by the same illusion (it's possible it was only Tanjiro's, but since we get in everyone's heads a little in this part, I believe they all experienced the same thing). Reacting in ways so true to how they would in waking like, they learned as much about each other as truthfully as they would have if they were fighting while awake. 3. The "Rengoku-aniki" thing is the moment they're falling into a deeper stage of sleep, when any bizarre thing will make sense. They've lost any sense of holding back and are embracing the emotions as they hit them. Even if that was all a dream, the bond formed was very real. But then, as they fall deep, they fall into their own headspaces. Inosuke: I love how bombastic this dream is. It moves at a very fast pace, and everything revolves around Inosuke. He is physically much larger than Ponjiro, Chuuitsu, and Pyonko, who clearly follow him as their leader, the most powerful person in this cave exploring world full of wonder and excitement. True to life, these underlings can at times be frustrating or stupid, but there is no one else Inosuke would rather have at his side to take on a hugely impressive foe. It's a relatively simplistic world, what Inosuke really cares about is his place in it, and who is there.

Taking it a step deeper, he should not be able to manifest in his self-conscious space, but Gotouge attributes his and Zenitsu's ability to do this and protect their cores from intruders to their strong senses of self. What's telling is that his subconscious space is practically identical to his conscious dream space; like there is no breakage between one stage of reality and the next. In its Zen-like simplicity Inosuke's mind is never at odds with itself, its interpretation of reality is fluid and seamless. However, being at this deeper state brings us to a deeper state of self actualization, with Inosuke manifesting closer to the ideal beast he views himself as.

Now, with Inosuke being so fully invested in what he sees as reality, he's still got a carry-over effect from dream after waking up, which one could interpret as not having fully shaken the effects of Enmu's blood technique. After all, Zenitsu simply never broke out of it, Tanjiro had to kill himself in his dreams each time to fully snap out of it, and Kyojuro was the only one powerful enough to have broken through its effects through his own willpower. When Tanjiro says the train is a demon, he buzzes with "I was right!" (a conviction that only got stronger in his dream), and Inosuke's declarations of being the boss and Tanjiro being his underling are indignantly plentiful and he fully believes what he is saying every time he brings it up, even if he's aware that he's no longer in the cave exploring dream. But, given that Inosuke is so at peace with his own version of reality, it's also just as likely that his conviction of being The Boss was also only compounded by the dream, and all that dream did was give him a more fun setting in which to play around in. But, what was so fun about the dream, what made him sleep-giggle with pleasure, was that everyone else was finally getting with the program and recognizing him as the boss, as they should. Finally. It's so frustrating in real life that he has to keep reminding them to get it right. Get it, Santaro?? GOOD. Zenitsu: What I love here is the contrast between subconscious and conscious space. Both of them have the same theme melody, but played in very, very different ways. They also both play with the same core desire in very different ways as well. Is it so much to ask that he can just spend some time alone with the girl he loves?? If we jump straight to the pitch black unconscious space, he specifies to the intruder that only Nezuko is allowed there. Not just girls in general, not a close friend like Tanjiro, only the one girl he loves, and even then, you'd have to love someone a lot to invite them into the deepest, darkest corners of your soul. And it is a very, very, very, very dark corner. Zenitsu's spent most of his life building that dark, pessimistic personality, compounded by the treatment he's always received throughout his life and what he believes about himself at his core. He's ugly and depraved there, and very defensive. Because he holds himself in such darkness, that makes him desire the bright, happy, completely idealistic world of his conscious dream world. It's rich with detail and warm and he knows it well, that places is the first place he ever felt someone have hope for him; it's Jiichan's home, that sunny place with delicious peaches and full of clovers and lush greenery and a charming stream. Of course he'd want to show it all to Nezuko, she deserves to see such a happy, pretty place! And, while the world is idealized and happy, Nezuko is e-x-t-r-e-m-e-l-y cute and actually wants to hang out with him too. She's willing no hold his hand, none of the girls who dated (read: used) Zenitsu in the past were ever willing to hold his hand. He even gets to show her that he can be cool, and she likes it!! She looks him in the eyes and is totally honest about enjoying his company!!

He just wants someone to want him back. He wants to belong in the sunshine too. So, even if he had it in him to wake up from Enmu's blood technique, who can blame him for staying there? (You know, besides Tanjiro, who has been desperately screaming for them all to wake up and help him protect the passengers. Zzzzz, five more minutes, Tanjiro, zzzzzzz----) Kyojuro: This... isn't really a happy dream. Kyojuro has accepted a lot of sad parts of his reality so wholeheartedly that he doesn't seek the comfort of a dream in which his mother is still alive, or a dream in which his father is proud of him. Instead, what Kyojuro was looking for was the chance to go back and say more to Senjuro. This implies that on the real day he knelt in that room, while his father faced away and read the book* while Kyojuro told him all about how he defeated Lower Moon Two and became a Pillar, and was met with his father's heartbreakingly unenthusiastic reply, he later went outside and...

...didn't say any words of comfort to Senjuro.

This regret, that he didn't do more for his brother whom he knew was hurting in his own silent ways this whole time, was what sat most bothersomely in Kyojuro's otherwise peacefully self-assured psyche (or fired-up psyche, if you go by his subconscious space) . It makes sense that in his dying wishes, the first thing he requests is that Tanjiro do this in his stead. *Speaking of that book, Kyojuro had forgotten about it until his memories pulled together to create the details of the dream, which was why he thought to mention it to Tanjiro later. This shows that Enmu is not an architect of people's dreams, he only sets them in motion. How believable they are depends on each victim. (Totally unrelated, I love the design of the Rengoku estate's garden??? It's primarily evergreen and unflowering trees, meaning it stays relatively steadfast throughout the year, a garden designed in samurai villa taste. Plus the details of the house also fit really well, I think??? Would need to review research of buke-yashiki architecture to say more.) Tanjiro: ...*deep breath* This boy really, really wants to go home. Like, the climax of the movie is amazing and all, but it's the scenes with Tanjiro's family that make me cry. Ugh, where do I start. Enmu probably just grabs on to whatever thread of a desire a person has, and then he just tugs on it and says "this way, let's go really far in this direction, show me where it goes, hmm, okay, nice, lovely. Have fun here, I've now seen enough to write my own angsty version for later." So... so I'm just going to work backwards a moment. Enmu screwed up here, thinking he could really read the depth of Tanjiro's family and his feelings for them. He thought he could make a convincing version of these "characters" cry and shove Tanjiro around and speak meanly to him and make him feel shame. And the cut to that dream, OH MY GOSH, truly horrific sound and color change. But Tanjiro's sees through it so fast that he wakes up immediately and uses that anger at how Enmu wrote them to cut off his "head." You screwed up, Enmu, you blew it, maybe other people would very so blown down by the shock that they wouldn't question how unreal that dream sequence is, but Tanjiro has honed his fighting spirit so much that it's been nagging him even throughout his happy dream. And he really, really, really wants to stay in that happy dream. Like, even though he's on guard at the beginning, so much so that he only focuses on the familiar feeling of a demon being around and does not notice the familiar landscape AT ALL. But the moment Hanako and Shigeru step in, convincingly made from Tanjiro's memories and unedited by Enmu, Tanjiro throws that all away in an instant. As he says when he's trying, after trying and trying and trying to rip himself away from the dream, he was never even supposed to had left this world. He was never supposed to had touched anything like a sword, they were all supposed to stay there together, living their simple life. If things hadn't gone wrong that one night. Tanjiro cares deeply about his mission, he's adopted his training deeply, he has serious desire to improve, which is why his subconsciously keeps trying to call himself back to reality, but it's so hard, because this is where he wants to be, and it's even harder because it feels so real. It's a little peeve of mine when families with lots of little siblings are written to be too angelic and idealistic, and there is some of that with the "let's make sembei, yaaaay" scene, but... but that's actually pretty true. I'm giving myself away with how close this hits to home, but it's a dynamic in a lot of large families, especially large families pretty happy to stay to themselves and people who live the same sort of conservative, traditional lifestyle, to foster in the older siblings some pride in taking care of the little ones and helping create that happy world for them, even if taking care of little kids can be rough. It's not to say that things are always happy and fluffy, they're not, and that's not to say even

happy kids don't resent being in a large family sometimes. But there's plenty of moments in daily life, especially in the presence of small children, that you get swept up into a sillier, happy, caretaker side of yourself, and since you all grow up with these silly moments together, you're going to naturally fall into into some silly, scripted-feeling moments of "then I'll be in charge of eating the sembei!" "no faaaaair!". So, I'll give the sembei scene a pass because that IS a moment that happens in years of moments with the same posse of kiddos around you all the time. But it's also so striking to me how each of Tanjiro's siblings, however idealized, has their own personality. The traits are so subtle but consistent and Tanjiro knows all of them. They pick up on things about each other, they grow realistically annoyed and surprised and concerned and scared like they would if they were real instead of only Tanjiro's memories of them. Those kids feel so real to me, even if they are annoyingly overidealized in some parts as Tanjiro is letting himself get swept away. And just when he's managing to part from it to go face reality, Enmu makes more attack: he brings in Nezuko, trying to make it feel like there's no point in Tanjiro running at all. She's fine. There's nothing left for him to fight for. Everything's fine. And all over again, Tanjiro just stops. He KNOWS it's not real, but he's hurting so much to hear her voice again that he just sto-o-o-o-ps. And his desire to stay with the others catches up to him all over again, and he's tempted all over again to stay, EVEN KNOWING IT'S NOT REAL and there are very, very, very pressing matters to attend to. Even if it was all a little happy and idealized, more than anything, it felt like life always did. It's telling that when Tanjiro finally, FINALLY pulls away from that that time, he doesn't look back, and the family stops chasing him. This is Tanjiro accepting reality, however much it hurts. He's already had a couple years to accept this, but it was all overwhelming to get such a vivid taste of it again.

Tanjiro wants to do well to his organization and honor Urokodaki's training and avenge the fallen and prevent anyone else from being hurt and see an end to Kibutsuji Muzan and make Nezuko human again, but more than anything, he wants that simple life. And it's so, so heartwarming that at the end of the manga, he gets it.

It's not the same. It'll never be the same.

He never wanted a life with a sword, but he's been working so hard at it anyway.

[amiedala]

SOMETHING MORE (the mandalorian x reader)

CHAPTER 30: Something More

RATING: Explicit (18+ ONLY!!!)

WARNINGS: sexual content & descriptions of violence

SUMMARY: “I’m ready,” Din repeats, more fortified. You nod, and then beam at him and the baby, pushing your shoulders back. “This is a lot,” he says, his voice still tinged slightly with anxiety, “are you sure?”

You step as close as you can, reaching your hand up to bring his face down to yours, tipping your foreheads together. “Din Djarin,” you whisper, “I’m sure. We were always meant for something more. And,” you continue, smiling, mouth an inch away from his, “I don’t scare easy.”

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i am literally sitting here, emotional, crying as i write this. this has been the journey of a lifetime. i hope you all love this last chapter, and i hope it gives you that something more that Nova and Din found together. this last chapter, this grand finale, it's dedicated to every single one of you. thank you for being my readers, supporters, and friends. i hope this ending is everything you've dreamed. more notes, as always, are at the end. <3

*

A year ago, almost to the day, if you’ve counted correctly, you crash landed on Nevarro and the entirety of the rest of your life shifted somewhere huge and cosmic. You’ve always been a believer—in something bigger, something great, something more—but the second you met Din, and then the baby…well, everything seemed to just click into place. From Nevarro’s molten surface, to Bespin’s back alleys, to the excursions into the Mid Rim, to falling in love on Naator, to saying yes to the most romantic proposal on Yavin, to heartbreak and back on Dantooine, to all of the lives you’ve lost and the ones you’ve lived, all the way straight back into the Rebel Alliance, to losing your kid and your fiancé and then somehow coming out on top of it, ready to unite the remainder of the Jedi and the people of Mandalore and every single Rebel you know to pull off the greatest eradication of evil since the Death Star blew, you genuinely and sincerely can’t imagine your life being any other way.

And when you look over to the man you love, his helmet off, every contour of his gorgeous face in your full view, it makes your heart ache in your chest. Not in the way it did when you stumbled and drowned in the losses along the journey, not the way it did when he left you to protect you back on Dantooine, but in a way that feels just as huge and cosmic as the last year has been. You know war is on the horizon. You know there’s so many battles out there left to fight, and to hopefully win. You’ve come a hell of a way since being bounty hunter and babysitter, respectively. And all of it, every second, you think was worth it to get to this moment.

Because you’re not only about to be the wife of the king of Mandalore, you’re not only about to spearhead an entirely revitalized Rebel Alliance to take down the evil the Empire left over in the shadows, but you’re about to do all of it after meeting Luke Skywalker. And there’s something just as starry and explosive about your old life meeting your new one, just as bright, just as shiny.

Din’s quiet. You’re buzzing with adrenaline and anxiety and everything in between, but you’re trying to stay calm. Mandalore is a serene orb on the horizon, and you watch it through the blinking mirrors on Kicker’s dashboard as you slowly coast through the stars. Everything out here, when you’re not in warp, feels like everything is drawing towards something more. Not an ending. Never an ending. But there’s something poignant in each dazzling ball of gaseous light, as if this journey is a transformation.

“Where’s your head?” Din asks, lowly, and the spark in his voice is enough to break you out of your reverie.

“On you,” you answer, immediately, flashing a wide smile towards him, “as always, my big brave Mand’alor boyfriend.”

Din winces, just a little, but you can see the small beginnings of a smile etched into his face, a reflection of yours. “That one doesn’t seem as catchy.”

You laugh, throwing your head back, your loose hair dancing down your spine. You feel the way his eyes roam over you—not just hungry, not just with desperation—but with ease. So much has changed, and yet this, right here, the two of you in the cockpit, heading into the stars, this is so familiar you could do it in your sleep.

“Give me time,” you answer, finally, grinning back over at him, “I’ll come up with something better.”

Din’s quiet, and you turn your attention back to the space around you. It’s quiet out here. Peaceful, even though so much of the galaxy is rife with stress and there’s evil lurking out there in the shadows you and the rest of the team have to yank back into the light. And you know this is just the beginning—that the last time the Empire won, it took almost twenty full years to defeat them, and even longer to put anything right—but knowing you’re moving forward, you’re secretly married with the leader of a planet, you have an entire squadron of people caught from all haphazard places in the galaxy, and that your family’s going to be reunited in a matter of days, feels like you’re coming home in a way you haven’t felt in years.

“Nova,” Din starts, and then falls back into his silence. You glance back at him. The muted interior of Kicker reflects back onto the beskar, makes it look like it’s camouflaged. If it were anyone else, if you didn’t know him as intently as you do, you’d be on edge with Din disappearing into the ship. But you can feel his steady heartbeat, you know he’s right behind you, and, more than anything, he’s yours. Nothing about him scares you. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. “Do—do you really think we can pull this off?”

You sigh, flicking the switch so Kicker goes into autopilot, and then you slowly turn around him in your chair so you can face Din in yours. “Yes,” you say, gently, conviction seeping into your voice. “Yes, I think we can pull this off. You’re going to be the best leader Mandalore’s ever had, I’m going to work with the Alliance, we’re going to get our kid back, and we’re going to eradicate the First Order, whoever and wherever they are. We’re going to pull it all off, Din,” you continue, earnestly, leaning forward in your seat, holding his gorgeous gaze. “It’s not going to be easy. It’s not going to be quick. But we’re going to do it.”

Din holds your eyes. There’s something strange behind his own. “How are you so optimistic, even after everything?”

You blink, hand finding the Rebel insignia around your neck, fingers pressing down against the smoothness of the metal. You swallow. It holds heavier against your throat than your mother’s did, but something about the beskar carving makes it feel totally indestructible. A small beacon of fortification. Something to bring you out to sea and back to shore again. “Like I told Gideon,” you say, finally, “I have hope.”

He’s quiet. You are, too. Eventually, Din leans forward, hand linking with yours, meeting you right in the middle. “Don’t lose that.”

You shoot a small, guarded smile back at him. “I held onto it even when I thought you abandoned me back on Dantooine. I think I can keep this part of me alive forever, and I think it’s strong enough to keep it alive in you, too.”

Din stares at you. “I need you to know,” he starts, voice low and urgent, “that I’m so sorry. For leaving you. For not including you in my decisions. For—” he cuts himself off, inhaling sharply, “for breaking your trust. I messed up. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to fix it. All I can promise you,” he continues, hand tightening its grip in yours, “is that I’m never going to do it again.”

You look at him. There’s still that burning pyre in your chest, that fear that he’s going to disappear and not come back, that some sort of fate will lightning strike between the two of you, but the anger that lived there for so long has completely dissipated. You love him. You take a shaky breath, holding up your left hand. The beskar encircling your ring finger glints in Kicker’s low light. “I believe you,” you say, finally, laying it all bare. You inhale, biting down on your lower lip. “That’s what this is all about,” you continue, wriggling your fingers, “right? I know you,” you say, leaning closer, hair falling over your shoulder. His eyes track the movement of it, free, unencumbered. “I love you,” you continue, nodding slightly. “And I trust you. So I believe you.”

Din inhales. “Nova,” he starts, “do—do you ever think you’ll forgive me for leaving you back on Dantooine—”

And then he’s cut off, because Kicker starts screaming. It’s not the same warbled screech that haunted the comm back on Khubeaie, not that desperate kind of wailing. She’s warning you, you realize, as you let your hand drop out of Din’s and whirl back around to man the controls yourself. Din reacts almost completely in sync, but you saw the spark of ache in his eyes before he finished asking his question. Your stomach flips over.

Something’s failing. You know that. You’re not sure why, but the ship starts flickering and sinking, even when you’re supposedly moving on a full fuel tank, and even while you know you fixed all the major issues before you left Mandalore. Bo-Katan had even given the ship a very begrudging once-over, and you know her seal of approval is very hard to come by. Frustrated, you press all the right buttons, trying to calculate what exactly the issue is.

Your comm blinks. “Come in,” a voice rings, and for a second, everything floods into fight-or-flight. You’re running completely on adrenaline, still high from saying your wedding vows the night before, and you haven’t had more than one consecutive night of good sleep in months. Quickly, you flash your eyes on Din. “Come in,” the voice on the other end of the line says again, and it’s urgent enough for you to raise your wrist to your mouth, make you speak.

“Who am I speaking to—”

“Your ship’s haunted.”

You stare into the comm, back at Din, and then into your comm again, as if any of this will somehow crystallize the absolute nonsense that’s ringing in your ears. “What?” you say, still thinking you’re losing it, and then, before you can do anything else, you hear blaring on the other line.

“Not haunted,” another voice says, tiredly, and it’s not until Slave I pops out of warp that you realize you’re talking to Boba and Fennec. “Ships don’t get haunted,” she continues, “you just didn’t fix your disabled comm system when we first scrambled your signal. That’s the issue.”

You squint. You can’t see her, of course, everything about the ship is covered in tinted windows, but you want Fennec Shand to feel the full force of your disapproval and confusion. “You scrambled my signal? But that was days before—”

“Had to get a hold of you somehow,” the other voice says, and you exhale, shaking your head. “That was her doing. Not mine. The ship’s comm system is, for lack of a better term, haunted. Land on this planet.”

“We have to go to Hoth,” you protest, halfheartedly. “That was the plan.”

You can hear the wry smile in Boba Fett’s voice. “Oh, they won’t like me on Hoth, Rebel.”

You raise your eyebrow over at Din. By the way his helmet’s cocked, you know he’s laughing under there. “Too bad,” you shoot back, flipping switches on the dashboard as Din’s plugging in the coordinates to the ice giant nearby, “they’re gonna have to deal with it, because you’re with me.”

With a relatively boring flight and endless grumbling from Boba Fett, the two of your ships touch down on Hoth. It makes your stomach flip over. Everything in you is still buzzing—all that emotional resonance, all that fluttery anxiety of standing on the precipice of something more—and you can barely hear Din as he slips his helmet back on and gestures you to slide down the ladder after him. You feel alive. Dazzlingly, excitedly so.

Everyone complains about the cold. It assaults all of you the second the gangplanks are lowered, but there’s something so warm inside of you that you barely feel the bite of the chill. You flash a big smile at Wedge and the various members of the New Rogue Squadron as they greet you at the thermalock door, the warm breeze that greets you the second you step into the light downright summery compared to the ice.

“Did you talk to Luke?” Wedge asks, his voice low and complicated, as he leads your ragtag group to the control room. You don’t know why he’s whispering, but you follow suit.

“All I got from his last hologram,” you sigh, rubbing your icy fingers together, “is that he wants to see me in person.”

Wedge raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

You glance back over at him, eyebrows furrowed down the middle. “Yeah. Was that not what he told you?”

Wedge chews on his bottom lip. “He didn’t really say much of anything,” he admits as you round the last corner, “just that he needed to speak with you, as soon as possible, and that it was important. I’m not used to him being so secretive.”

You shoot him a small smile. “Is that unlike him?”

Wedge’s expression is wry, but his eyes sparkle. “The Luke Skywalker I know could talk to an empty moon for years before he realized there’s no one talking back.”

A grin breaks across your face. As Wedge walks around to his usual command spot on the other side of the holotable, you bite back your smile and stand at yours, feeling a very strange sense of pride as your unlikely team lines up behind you. Din is fully armored, but the set of his shoulders is much more relaxed than the last time he was there. Boba, especially with his newly refurbished armor, sticks out like a sore thumb. The generals across from you are defensive, not taking their eyes off of him for a second. Fennec doesn’t look like she belongs, either, but you have a very strong feeling that Fennec Shand doesn’t belong to anything except the chaos she craves. Still, there’s a determined set to her face that shows you she’s on your side. Mixed in with the rest of the semicircle are Cara and Karga, who don’t exactly blend in, but wear the same proverbial colors of the rest of the people at the table.

“New Rogue Squadron,” Wedge starts, his eyes dancing all over everyone stationed at the holotable, “meet our newcomers.”

“We’ve met,” one general says, disapprovingly, looking Boba Fett up and down.

Wedge lets Boba step forward menacingly for exactly two seconds before he steps forward, just an inch, and retakes command. “Refamiliarize yourself, then. We’re all on the same side here. We are,” he cuts himself off, lowering his voice, looking straight at you, “all on the same side here, right?”

You nod. “Who here wants the Empire eradicated for good?” Everyone’s hands go up. You cross your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at Fennec, the only one in the room that doesn’t have her hand in the air. “Fennec?”

She looks back at you, her eyes alive, a reflecting pool. “I like to be on the winning team.”

“Well,” you level, “here, you certainly are.”

She cracks a grin, and then her hand extends in a perfect line above her head. “I have a feeling,” she says, tongue snaking out and wetting her bottom lip, “that you don’t break promises often.”

“She doesn’t,” Din chimes in from behind you. You feel the heat rush to your cheeks, and you look back at Wedge, turning back over command.

“Alright then,” Wedge says, leaning forward, bracing each hand on the glimmering edge of the table, “let’s get started.”

The two of you talk first. You recount a very abridged version of the events, starting from when you and Din left Hoth last, all the way up to everything that happened on Mandalore. You glaze over the more unsavory bits back on Cantonica, only wincing slightly when you smooth over the fight in the back alley, the way that you were close to death. You can still smell that creep’s breath if you focus too hard on the memory, so you think instead of the way Din plunged the Darksaber into his chest. You bridge the gap by introducing Cara and Karga to the rest of the group huddled around the table, talking about your reunion on Nevarro, and how they were tracking down ex-convicts and members in the Guild, respectively, to uncover any new information on the Order. You finish, warily, with Gideon’s final statements, how he promised you the Order was going to come and take anyone with power they could manipulate for their own, how his eyes glinted when he told you that all Jedi would either be eradicated or turned into weapons. Finally, you close with his death, Bo-Katan’s measured rage, the battle over the Darksaber that chose Din again and made both of you basically royalty. Wedge’s face shifts as you tell him the last bit, your eyes very focused on his and not anyone else’s. You know that being associated with the current Mand’alor puts even more of a target on your back than it did when you were simply an exiled Rebel and bounty hunter, but you keep your chin up. You don’t care about the royalty aspect of it, don’t love the idea of being in charge of other people, especially after fighting for so long to be your own autonomous being. But you like the idea that Din is the rightful leader, and there’s not a chance in hell anyone—especially not the First Order—is going to take that from him.

You turn it over to Wedge, who’s still looking strangely at you. It’s not judgment. It’s not questioning. It takes about halfway through his opening remarks for you to classify it as pride. You step back as he talks, hiding a small smile.

“We have our work cut out for us,” he sighs, and you tune back in. “None of this is going to be easy. I’m going to ask you all one last time,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest, a flurry of orange against the stark, cool interior of the base, “if you want out, this is where you leave. No hard feelings. But it needs to be now.”

No one moves an inch. Not a single general. Not Cara or Karga. Not Boba or Fennec, who both seem to be much more involved with this idea than they showed at first glance. Behind you, Din steps just an inch closer, and you feel your body filling up with warmth in his close proximity.

“That’s what I thought,” Wedge says, that smile of pride etched into his face again. “Here’s what we’ve found out. There isn’t a lot of information on anything related to the empire left, save for libraries and research archives, and of course, the lived experiences of everyone in this room,” He pauses, bringing up an image on the holotable. You see the flickering images of both Death Stars, and you hide a small shiver at how impending and filled with doom they look, even on this imitation of a screen. “We knocked both of these out,” Wedge continues, pointing at the rotating stars. “We made extra care to do it the second time,” he says, gesturing at the bigger and more reinforced of the two, “and then we tried to eradicate every single building plan the Empire had stashed away. I can’t promise that schematics didn’t survive, because I think there were parts of their regime that were a lot smarter than others. But we’ve made it our major effort over the last few years to put in as many annoying and massive roadblocks as we possibly can so that nothing can rise from the ashes. And yet,” he sighs, bringing up an image of Gideon on the screen, “this Order survived.”

“What makes you think they didn’t start after the Empire was eradicated?” Din asks, which causes more of the generals to mutter to one another.

“Because—” Wedge starts.

“I’ve seen this before,” you interrupt, gently. “Almost everyone associated with the Alliance did, too. I wasn’t alive when Darth Vader rose to power, but it didn’t just happen out of nowhere. It was calculated. It was planned. There was a large league of evil hiding under the surface, they were just good at hiding it. We wouldn’t have any idea that the Order exists now, except everyone we’ve fought has huge egos and can’t stop shouting it from the rooftops.” You glance back at Wedge. “I’m sorry. I cut you off.”

“You hit the nail on the head,” Wedge says, approvingly, giving you a quick nod. “With Gideon dead, it’s easy to think that most of the evil that’s terrorized the Outer Rim is gone, or—well, at least dormant. But that’s not the truth. They’re strategic in their darkness because they won’t survive without it.”

“Do we know exactly who we’re dealing with?” Cara asks, stepping forward. You watch as her strong, full figure fills the frame of the holotable. Everyone’s eyes are on her. “With Gideon dead, we don’t have much to go on.”

“I know,” you agree tiredly, dragging a hand over your face. “That—that was not the plan. But in that moment, it was what had to be done,” you amend, chancing a look back at Din. “No. There’s no new figurehead that we know of. From my experience—our experience—though, they wanted Grogu and me for a reason. It wasn’t to use our Force sensitivity as a weapon, like we had originally thought. They experimented on the baby when they took him,” you say, voice shaking a little, “and extracted something from his blood. Midichlorians. I don’t know, exactly, what they are or how they work. I’m a little new to the Jedi thing. But I know they have something to do with how we harness our energy, whatever it is that makes the Force up. Back on Cantonica, the people who tried to grab us insinuated using us—or our power—as weapons wasn’t their current mission, but it would be. And then when we spoke to Gideon back on Mandalore, he said the same thing. But his motivation may not have been the same.” You swallow. “He was scared,” you say, slowly. “Of them. The First Order. He admitted it. He was never in charge. He was a pawn, the same way they want to make us.” You stare at his rotating image on the table, tinted blue. You hate it. Even in this mugshot, he looks smug. It’s an expression that you know won’t go away for a long time after his death. “Whatever’s out there,” you finish, quiet, “it’s big, and it’s coming. We need to be ready. Because when it does, we’re going to have to give them everything we’ve got.”

“Well said,” Wedge says, looking around the room. “Anyone else got an update?”

A few of the other members of the Alliance step forward, confirming and denying a flurry of half-baked theories. Cara fills the rest of you in on what she’s learned from the people that are out of the prison system, which is really a whole lot of nothing. Most of the more dangerous criminals with the heinous crimes are still in prison, and those who have gotten out want to life a quiet, peaceful life. She talks about the refinery explosion back on Morak, the way she knows a few spots of Empire sympathizers, but other than surface-level information, she hasn’t gotten deep into any of her contacts. Karga and the Guild is the same. You can feel the way Din’s eyes are boring into him, the measured way he’s scrutinizing his face. Karga’s slippery, but he’s never posed a real threat, and there’s a kindness to him you wouldn’t expect in a bounty hunter.

Then again, you just secretly married one of the most dangerous bounty hunters in the galaxy, and under all that beskar, there’s nothing but a heart of gold.

You smile, hiding the grin under guise of your hand stroking your lip. As if he can read your mind, Din steps so that the plate of beskar on his thigh bumps up against the back of yours. Even through your pants, you can feel how cold it is, how unyielding. How different it is than the man who wears it. The rest of the Alliance turn in small bits and pieces of information. Wedge uses the holotable to input everything, to keep as both map and record. You stare as it projects more and more of blue data. If you unfocus your eyes, it looks like stars.

Eventually, the conversation dies down. “One more time,” Wedge calls out, “do we have anything else to update, or shall we divide and conquer before our next rendezvous?”

Again, no one speaks. The slowly cartographed map projecting up from the table stands as proof that even without a ton of information, you’re starting a long and valiant fight. You feel fortified on that alone. Wedge dismisses everyone, and then you hear a modulated voice behind you.

“Actually,” Din says, his voice rough through the modulator, “I have something.”

Wedge raises his eyebrow, nodding to encourage Din to continue.

“I…” he starts tiredly, sighing, “am the ruler of Mandalore now. I didn’t want it, nor did I ever ask for it, but it’s a responsibility I have to deal with. But I made a promise to Nova,” he continues, knocking his knee slightly against yours. To the outside eye, it doesn’t look like he’s moved at all, but you know it happened. “And I’m going to follow her. I’m in this fight as much as the rest of you are, now, and that’s not changing. So, I would like to move the Rebel base to Mandalore,” Din finishes, finally, to a mixed crowd.

“Mandalore,” the older general says, gruffly, “is not ours to claim. They don’t take kindly to strangers of our kind.”

“I know that’s the history,” Din answers evenly, “but it’s going to be different now. This…this First Order, they don’t seem to only be after Rebels. If we’re not careful and strategic about the way we fight back, they might slip through the cracks. I think cracking down on another fascist regime is something that the Rebels and the people of Mandalore could agree on.”

“I beg to differ,” Wedge says, but his voice is light. “Listen, we’ve been base-hopping since before the first Death Star was blown to bits. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s not a ton of us left. I don’t know if relocation is the smartest idea, not right now.”

You can feel Din’s anger underneath the suit. It’s not directed at Wedge, but the complication of accidentally becoming the ruler of an entire planet isn’t easily dissolved.

“What if we don’t move the base?” you step in. “What if we kept the order of operations on Hoth, but we have a small squadron of people who work out of Mandalore so we keep in touch? The commute is short,” you continue, bringing up the distance between the two planets on the table, “and scattering our protection across the Outer Rim is probably smart, anyway.” You look from Din to Wedge. Everyone else is quiet. “None of this is ideal,” you press on, slightly worried about the tension floating up around everyone in the room, “but I think we’ve more than proven that we’re on the same team, and that we’re going to fight like hell. If the First Order emerges from more than just these shadows,” you continue, chancing a glance around the rest of the room, “then we revaluate where the base is. But right now, I think we should focus on communication instead of relocation.”

“Fine by me,” Wedge answers, easily, and you feel the rest of the anxiety in the room lessen. “Does that work for you?”

Din turns to you. You nod, just once, pleading through your eyes alone. Finally, he gives a swift nod, agreeing without saying a word of contempt or assurance. You smile over at Wedge, nodding again.

“Then the rest of you are dismissed,” Wedge says, with a note of finality. Murmurs fill the room as people start flowing outside of the doors. He looks over at Boba, who, like Cara, Fennec, and Karga, haven’t moved an inch. “You’re really in this?” There’s something complicated in his voice. You can’t quite place it. “You’re not going to try to sabotage us? Or take any of us out?”

Boba steps forward. If you weren’t well-trained in Mandalorian body language, you’d take his commanding presence as a threat. Wedge bends his knees a little, lifting his chin. “I’m not a bounty hunter anymore,” he answers, voice low and smooth. “I’m just a simple man, trying to make his own way in this galaxy.”

You can tell from Wedge’s expression that he doesn’t trust a single word out of Boba Fett’s mouth. “If you won’t cause any harm to us,” he continues, “can you promise me that you’d say the same for Luke Skywalker?”

Boba crosses his arms. Wedge stands taller. “I want to knock Skywalker into that Sarlacc pit and come out in one piece,” he says, and even though his voice is even, it’s not filled with the malice it was when you first met him on Khubeaie. “I don’t care if he lives or dies. I just assume that he’s integral to this whole…eradication of the First Order. So until they’re dead and gone, I won’t touch a pretty blonde hair on his head. Afterward?” He pauses, as if to seriously ponder it. “I can’t promise you what I’ll do next.”

Wedge regards him. Because you’ve known him practically your whole life, you can see his tell of fear. It lives on, like a little flame beyond the blackness in his eyes. Finally, he nods. “That’s fair.”

Boba nods, relaxes his stance. He turns to you. “We’ll keep searching,” he promises, and you flash him a quick smile. Fennec nods, confirming his words. “We do still have unfinished business on Tatooine. But send us a hologram when you’re about to be coronated,” he continues, turning to Din. You can hear the wry humor hidden in his voice, “I want to see the look on the Kryze girl’s face when you’re officially Mand’alor.”

You want to placate Din by telling Boba that they’ve firmly agreed to a truce, but Din doesn’t rush to explain any of this to the other Mandalorian. “You got it,” he says, easily, and then the two of them are gone, heading back to where Slave I is parked. You look over at Cara, whose arms are still exposed in this icy room. She’s not even shivering. You think maybe she’s the only person in the galaxy who could literally intimidate cold and dissuade it from touching her. Karga, on the other hand, is practically turning blue. He’s swaddled up in furs and a very fancy jacket, and yet, you can hear his teeth chattering. “Back to Nevarro for us,” he says, his voice a lot more strained than usual. “We’ll keep looking, too. I know this isn’t going to be easy,” he continues, turning his gaze to you, “but we don’t give up.”

“Ever,” Cara enunciates, knocking her shoulder into Din’s, giving your hand a quick squeeze. “Really. You’re in good hands,” she finishes, dropping her voice an octave, glancing up at Din.

“Oh,” you say, grinning brazenly, “I know.”

She flashes you another smile before the two of them depart the briefing room, too, and you’re left with Din and Wedge. You look back at your old friend, and you still see that vaguely disguised concern in his eyes. For a few moments, no one speaks. You exhale through your mouth and watch as the cold lights it up into frozen air.

“What did Luke say?” Wedge asks again. His voice is urgent. “When he sent you that second hologram?”

You look at him, eyebrows furrowed. “He just—he told me that he needed to speak with me, and that when I saw you next, you’d give me the coordinates of where to meet him. That’s it.” Wedge inhales, his breath slightly shaky. “Wedge, what—?”

“There’s something wrong with him,” Wedge finally says. “There’s this…sadness to him, now, this quiet. When I first met Luke, he talked my ear off for three days before I was able to get a word in edgewise. He whined. He was oppositional. More than anything, he had the biggest heart of almost anyone else I’ve ever known.” His eyes meet yours. “You give him a run for his money, though, rebel girl. We—the last time I was…with him,” he continues, guarded. You have a feeling that he’s intentionally censoring himself, but you don’t push it. You know the way his face lights up whenever Luke is mentioned. And you haven’t met him yet, but you’d be more than willing to bet that Luke feels the same away about Wedge. “The last time we were together,” Wedge continues, “he…he told me that he was going to try and rebuild the Jedi Order, that he wanted to locate all of the sacred texts and find anyone else out there. To create a sense of community. Then he basically disappeared. I had to get to him through Leia, which wasn’t an easy feat, either, and she finally told me he was off on a planet none of us had never heard of before.” Wedge sighs. Something in you sparked when he mentioned Leia, and you’re trying your very hardest to keep your cool, because if there’s anyone in the Alliance you hold in higher regard than Luke Skywalker, it’s his twin sister. “When he contacted me again, he just seemed…heavy. Haunted,” Wedge amends, “and urgent. Like he’s running out of time.”

You stare at Wedge until his eyes find yours again. “I’ll help him,” you say, gently, stepping forward. “I don’t know what he wants from me. I only know him from stories. But whatever it is, I’m here to help. Okay?”

Wedge sighs. “Okay.” He looks back between you and Din, and then the small, easy smile he regularly sports flits across his face. “He’s on Ahch-To. In the Unknown Regions. He wants you to meet him there, and he wants the two of you to come alone.”

“That,��� Din finally says, breaking his silence, “will not be a problem.”

Wedge smiles up at him, too. “I like you,” he says, gently slapping Din’s forearm. “Stay alive and don’t let this one go, Mandalorian.”

“Trust me,” Din assures him, as Wedge pulls the data drive from the holotable so that the two of you can keep a copy of everything in your journey to Luke and back to Mandalore, “those are my two top priorities.”

Hoth is cold. Space is colder. Usually, by the time you’re out in the stars, it’s impossible to feel empty and chilled, but you’re hurtling through warp to the Unknown Regions, and there’s something so dark and desolate about this corner of the galaxy. It’s ancient, from what you can tell, and largely abandoned. Something here is bringing you an odd sense of quiet, but mostly, you feel that haunted, desperate feeling associated with the lurking, looming threat of the First Order, and you’re trying your best to ignore it.

Din rises up out of his seat and stands beside you. He dangles both of his hands into your line of sight, and you gently undo his gloves, letting them drop to the floor. His fingers slip under the fabric of your shirt and start pressing on where the ache has blossomed and hardened. “You carry all of your stress here,” he murmurs, digging his thumbs into the knots that line your shoulders.

“Hard to feel stressed,” you hum happily, “when you’re doing this.”

He tips your head back. You stare upside down into the visor, and then his hands disappear from your shoulders to pull the helmet off. You hide your small sigh under the noise of the hiss that his mask makes, and when you’re face to face, something kickstarts like a drum in your chest.

You’ll never get tired of seeing Din’s face. Not now, not ever. It’s complicated and etched with so much worry, but when he looks at you, everything has quieted. It’s just the two of you, the crush of space, and the promise of being a real family on the horizon. It makes everything in you swell and burst like a eager tide against the shoreline. “I love you,” you whisper, and he strokes his thumb over your cheek.

He smiles. It’s such a rare thing, that genuine smile. It shines on long after it’s left his face. “Ni kar’tayl su,” he agrees, and then, so softly you may have imagined it, “Novalise.”

When he comes in for a kiss, he spins your chair around so fast that you don’t even have enough air in your legs. He kneels down so that his face is level with yours, knocking his forehead gently against his. You wrap both of your arms up and around his neck, staring into his deep, brown, expressive eyes as he holds both of your cheeks with the palms of his large hands, breathing in his scent of cleanness and metal and smoke and, still, cinnamon.

“Do you remember,” he starts, his voice thick, “when we…we first met, and I asked you how old you were?”

You nod, quietly, feeling his hair brush up against yours. “Yeah,” you say, softly. You can feel your heart beating quickly in the left side of your chest.

“That,” Din sighs, “was a year ago today.”

You look up at him, startled. “You counted?”

He nods, still with his forehead against yours. “You’re not twenty-five anymore,” he says, quietly, “and I didn’t get you a birthday gift.”

You smile, pulling away, only slightly, so you can see his eyes. “We have been a little busy,” you say, grinning. “I think I can forgive you on that one.”

He meets your gaze, low and intense. “Can you?” Din asks, and as you’re registering the weight of the words of forgiveness, he’s taking off your pants. There’s something desperate and hungry in his eyes as he works them off of you, dragging his bare hands up and over your thighs. You gasp with the lightness of his touch, and when his mouth moves up in between your legs, you think his tongue can work miracles. Huge ones. Devastating ones. You’re pretty sure Din’s mouth alone could bring about galaxy-wide peace, except you don’t want it anywhere except for buried in your pussy.

You let out a strangled moan, low and wet, and right as his tongue starts furiously circling your clit, Kicker starts fucking hollering.

You could kill her. You love her, the home you’ve made in her, how she’s kept you safe, but right now, if ships could be strangled, you would absolutely throttle her. Sighing, you wrench your pants back up over your hips.

“I’m not done,” Din warns, and the image of him wiping the slick off of his lips replays in the back of your mind as you try to yank your attention back to your screeching ship.

“What’s wrong?” you mutter, checking through the laundry list of flips and switches and buttons, trying to figure out why Kicker’s on high alert. It takes a second, but then you see it—black TIE fighters, wicked and sharp, arachnid and blending into the crush of space. “Shit,” you murmur under your breath, strapping yourself back in. Before you can warn Din to do the same, lightning-quick, he bolts his safety belt. You crack your neck back and forth, shaking your fingers free of the cold cabin interior and any leftover jitters you’re still feeling from Din’s mouth on you.

“Where did they come from?” Din asks, and you recognize that his voice is modulated, his helmet back on in a flash. “We’re in the middle of nowhere—”

“Warp,” you call back, as the first one fires. It’s not their stereotypical light blast—something about it is just as dark and insidious as their ships are. You escape it, but narrowly, and you yank Kicker up to evade the shot. “Every time. Every single time. How the hell,” you call back at him, firing off a few rounds of your own, “do they find us this easily?”

“Well,” Din answers, over the noise, “your ship isn’t exactly the most inconspicuous, even with the modifications—”

“Hold on,” you interrupt, barrel rolling over on yourself, evading another blast. It careens into some debris of a nearby asteroid field, and you wince as it collides. “Do you think it’s because they know that Gideon’s dead?” The word feels heavy in your mouth. You gulp, setting everything to stun, dropping some of your height so that you can avoid the new shots they’re volleying at you.

“How could they?” Din yells back, and then a blast hits Kicker. You scream with the impact, loud and uncontrolled, as it drains your shields. You can’t tell how bad the damage is, but nothing is burning or smoking, even though Kicker’s screeching at you again. You’re almost positive she’s a sentient being, at this point, because she’s always so humanoid in her reactions. You grunt, hauling the ship as far right as you can get, blasting one of the three fighters with your own artillery. “I’m going to arm the cannon,” Din says, and you don’t have time to tell him that the defense system at the back of Kicker is a mess of wires and buttons, and that you’re not even sure if the rear artillery works, before he’s gone in a flash.

It turns out, the rear artillery does work. It’s no masterclass in shooting, but Din knows his way around his weapons, even ones he’s never used before. You’re exhausted, but you yank Kicker up and over, avoiding another blast. You stare at the fighters as they whiz around you. There’s a darkness to them that you don’t entirely understand, but when they start shooting again, you’ve had enough. You hate killing. You still carry the tally marks of the lives you’ve ended deep inside your chest. You know all of them by heart. But you’re willing to let these people take a few punches with Kicker’s best cannons, because you’ve had enough of them trying to take everything you love away from you for what feels like the millionth time.

“Up!” Din yells from the back of the ship, and you take every single atom of strength you have last in your body to wrench all of the thrusters upward, careening Kicker dizzily into the mess of the stars above. The fighters follow you, lightning quick. Din shoots, hard and heavy, with what feels like all the ammo left on the ship, but then you’re out and the one right on your tail shoots another blast. Everything in Kicker shakes, screams, and then slowly starts to power down. You can feel her sliding into sleep.

“Not like this,” you mutter, furious, flipping every switch you can think of, trying to make it the right way up so you can recalibrate your defense, if you have any left, or at least punch in new coordinates so you won’t die out here, lost in the crush of space. That same, awful feeling that filled you when you crash landed on Dagobah is running through you again. The last thing you think before you start moving is how horrible and lonely your parents’ deaths must have been when they were spinning to their terrible, fiery end.

The fighter closest to you fires again. You unbuckle. If you’re going to die like that, out here in the middle of nowhere in the Outer Rim, you’re going to get to your secret husband first and you’re going to tell him that you love him, that you don’t want to die alone, and that after this, after everything, of course you forgive him.

But you don’t have a chance. You slide across the floor, and scramble towards the ladder, and you can hear the uncharacteristic noise coming from Din down in the hull, and then everything quiets. It’s not possible. It can’t be.

A single X-wing comes out of nowhere. You stop your struggle to get downstairs. You forget everything else. Your jaw drops as your eyes track the ship. You know it before you see him. You know it because literally everything in you is shaking and screaming, every single last part of you that harnesses the Force is kaleidoscoping in the shape of Luke Skywalker, but you watch, stunned into complete silence, as he delivers three blasts, knocking each fighter down into space. You watch their trails dizzy down to nothing as everything filters back in. Din hurls himself up the ladder, promptly crashes into you, and then you’re both tangled up on the floor together.

“Nova,” Din mutters.

“That’s—” you stop, blinking, trying to take the image in, still, everything locked on the X-Wing you can see out of the starboard window, jabbing at the shape of his ship with a shaky finger, “that’s—Luke Skywalker—”

“Kicker is failing,” Din says, patiently, and then, not nearly as patiently, he grabs your face. “Hey! You either need to get her down on the nearest planet or I will, but either way, I’m not dying out here.”

“Not dying. Right,” you say, dazed, and then the adrenaline kicks back in. “Um—” you get up, heaving yourself back to a standing position with all the weight you can on the heels of your hands. You throw yourself back into the pilot’s chair. Kicker is screaming. Your comm blinks, and you raise it, still not entirely aware of what you’re doing. “Hello?”

“You need to help me ground your starfighter,” the voice warbles across the intercom, and you choke back a sob. It’s him. It’s him. You have absolutely no idea what he means, but General Luke Skywalker is talking to you. “Your kid told me he did it before.”

You squint. “My kid—?”

And then, like the sound of a million tiny, glorious bells ringing all at once, you hear Grogu’s laugh. You choke back a sob. Din’s hand finds your knee, clenches it in something that feels an awful lot like relief.

“It’s too big for us to do it alone,” Luke’s voice rings through again, “you need to use the Force.”

And, holy Maker and all the stars above, you do.

It’s not easy. You have no idea how Grogu did this alone, especially since the Crest was so much larger and clunkier than Kicker, but you let Din pilot the controls as you work with Luke and Grogu to bring the ship down as easily as you can to the closest planet. It’s not the most populated place, and you have no idea what the terrain will be like, but you put everything out of your mind except for getting to the ground in one piece.

Kicker isn’t in the best shape when you ground her, but she’s alive and, like her namesake, still kicking. You’re going to need more fuel, and definitely some repairs on the starboard side, but you’re on the ground and alive. You disembark down the gangplank, shivering even in your Rebellion-issued parka, because this ice giant is just as frozen and formidable as Hoth is, and even vaster. Din looks completely untouched in his usual beskar, but he grabs and releases his hand as Luke Skywalker’s X-wing soars through the cloud cover, touching down a good distance away from your ship. Everything in you is alive and anxious, your heart beating out an intense staccato rhythm inside your ribcage. You know this isn’t a trick, that this is really Luke, that he has Grogu, that everything you’ve been working toward for the last year is meeting you face to face, but it’s still making your knees buckle under the weight of it. When you see him moving down the ladder, you can’t help yourself, running straight towards the ship. Luke turns around, and you skid to a stop in the snow, staring at him. When he shifts, you can see Grogu safely nestled in his robes, and you choke back a small sob.

The second your child sees you, he starts crying. You do, too. The chill freezes the tears on your face, but you don’t care, and you’re running again. Grogu stretches out his tiny green arms toward you. You vaguely register that Luke Skywalker has a smile on his face, but the only thing you’re focused on at all is Grogu, and when you pick him up, he smiles at you, sniffling, latching his small body against yours as tight as he possibly can.

“I missed you, bug,” you whisper. Your words are whisked away by the howling wind, but you don’t even care. You know he can hear it. “I missed you so much.”

He warbles, and you hold him even tighter, tipping your forehead against his tiny, wrinkled green one. Din catches up to the two of you, and you turn around, beaming, eagerly passing the baby to his dad. Grogu throws himself against Din’s armor, with zero regard to how cold the beskar is, happy to simply share in his warmth.

You’re still crying. Ugly sobbing, really, slobber all over your face, and you drag the sleeve of your jacket across your nose, hoping that it’ll amend some of your tears and the remnants it left behind.

“He’s missed you for a long time,” Luke’s voice rings out, and you turn around. You stare at him. He has a warm, big smile on his face, an unencumbered one, which is in high demand these days. His blue eyes are kind and endearing, and he tracks Grogu’s movements with great care. You stare at him, mouth slightly ajar, trying to dream up any words to string together to express your gratitude. “I’m—”

“General Skywalker,” you interrupt in a rush, wincing. “M—Master Skywalker. It’s such a pleasure to meet you.”

He smiles at you. “You can just call me Luke.”

You nod profusely. You have the strange feeling that you’re meeting royalty, and you don’t know what to do with your hands. “I—I’m Nova. Novalise. But you can call me Nova.”

His gaze drifts from your face to Din and the baby. He nods once at Din, and you can tell there’s something yearning behind his kind eyes. Luke looks back at you. “I’ve wanted to meet you for a long time,” he continues, stepping toward you. “I’ve seen you. In visions. In the baby’s head.”

You nod, swallowing. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

The wind howls. You shiver, feeling your nose turn red from the chill. Luke shakes a bit, too, which seems notoriously human from someone so legendary, before you remember he grew up on a desert planet and probably has zero resistance to the cold. He takes another step toward you. “How long have you been having premonitions?”

You blink at him. “How did you—?”

Luke offers a tired smile. “I can sense them in you,” he answers, gently. “You’ve been in mine. I can only assume you’ve seen me in yours. When did they start?”

“A few months ago,” you answer, honestly, sifting your weight more evenly between your feet. “I’ve always thought I was tapped into…something else. Something more. But this was different. It showed up in dreams, then the baby would show me his, then I started having them of my own. Sometimes, they’re clear, like before we met Ahsoka Tano. Sometimes, though, they’re vivid and completely nonsensical. You started showing up in them recently,” you tack on, faintly, “both how you look now and…what seems to be you much older. I can’t make sense of them.”

Luke tilts his head a fraction of an inch. “Have you ever met anyone else like you besides Grogu?” He offers up another small smile. “Or me?”

You shake your head. “No,” you say, earnestly, “no, it’s just…the three of us. Have you?”

The expression on his face changes, shifting enough for you to categorize the difference. “My nephew,” he answers, but there’s something slightly off about his voice. “I train him, sometimes, too. But he also has these visions, these—premonitions. For a long time, I was the only other Jedi I knew, and I just thought that was normal. I’ve been researching, and those types of premonitions aren’t the typical vision.”

You stare at him. “What—what are we seeing?”

“The future,” Luke says, grimly. “I think. I don’t know if it’s set in stone. But there’s this darkness coming. I know you’ve felt it. Wedge told me about your visions, but he didn’t need to.” His eyes search over your face. “I can see it. You’re like me, Nova.”

Despite everything, you grin back at him. “I can think of worse people to be like. Lucky me.”

And then you see it. What Wedge was talking about. A conflicted darkness flitters across Luke’s face, and then he does his best to absolve it. He does look so much older than you were imagining him to be—not by much, because he’s only a handful of years older than you are—but his eyes are haunted with an emptiness that comes with accumulated loss. And if he’s right, there’s more to come. Din steps in closer, carrying the baby. Grogu coos, and the youthful smile that Wedge talks about spreads across Luke’s face when he looks at the kid.

“I wanted to meet you,” Luke says, finally, turning his attention back to you, “because I wanted to see it in your eyes. The Force. I wanted to show you that…you’re strong, and you’re unique, and that can very easily make you a weapon. I’m here to tell you,” he continues, leaning in, “that you can choose not to be.”

You nod, locking eyes with him. “I’m a Jedi,” you say, slightly winded, but strong. “Or at least, I’m going to be. I’m not going to let the First Order take me.”

He blinks. “You know about the First Order?”

You nod again, then slowly shake your head. “No,” you admit, finally. “Nothing really beyond their name and their plans to use us as their weapon.”

Luke studies you carefully. “I thought—I was naïve, when I first started. I thought that turning my father back to the light and letting him kill the Emperor would end things. I was wrong. There’s more to come,” he says, gravely, looking out at the barren wasteland of the planet you’re on, “and I don’t think what died fully stayed dead.”

The familiar words rush over you, seizing in your diaphragm. “What did you just say—”

And then you’re cut off by the screech of TIE fighters. You flinch, grabbing the Darksaber off of Din’s belt, unsheathing the blade. There’s five of them. Luke, immediately, unholsters his own lightsaber, a piercing green. You’re captivated by it, by the determined set of his young face. He just looks like an expert. You take stock of his fighting stance, adjusting your legs to match his position. When the first blasts come, you brandish the Darksaber in front of you, sizzling away their attack. They swoop and soar around you. You hear the impact when one hits the beskar, Din knocked to the ground.

“Hey!” you call, running over to him, dropping the saber down by your side as Luke jumps and slices at the arachnid ships in the air. Your heart is in your throat. You didn’t see the hit, but you heard him fall, and frenzied worry is burning in your chest.

“I’m fine,” Din says, gruffly, “Fine, I promise. Go be a Jedi.”

You stare at him. He nods, wrapping Grogu up in his cloak, letting his tiny hands soar out in the open. Tiredly, the baby drags down one of the ships. More artillery is fired, and you pull Din and Grogu beyond a large shoal of ice, trying to avoid the blasts.

“Go be a Jedi,” Din repeats, and you shake your head. The fighters are so aggressive in their assault, but you watch as the swoop and soar around Luke, barely shooting anything in his direction. They want Din, you realize, like a lightning bolt in your chest, they want to attack Din and the baby because they’re after you. “Nova—”

“They’re trying to kill you,” you say, grabbing either side of the helmet as more blasts shake free some of the ice above your heads. “I’m supposed to be here—”

Before you can do anything, Din wrenches the helmet off. You stare at him, dumbfounded, trying to shield his face from the low, swooping fighters above your heads. “No—”

He kisses you. Full force. His lips are so much warmer than yours are, his tongue gentle and slithering into your mouth. You lean into the kiss, grabbing at him with everything you can, and then he’s pulled himself away. “I meant it when I asked you,” Din whispered urgently, “do you think you can forgive me for leaving you?”

Your heart is pounding. You can feel your eyes fill with tears. “Yes. But what are you—”

“Good,” Din answers, shoving the helmet back down, “then you can forgive me twice.”

And then he’s running, with Grogu in his arms, making a beeline straight for Kicker. You scream, but the sound gets ripped away in the wind. Terrified, you stare at Luke, who makes eye contact with you and extends his left palm, focusing on the first TIE fighter. You sheath the saber and run towards him, focusing all of your energy on the one that’s after Din. For what feels like forever, you stand back-to-back with Luke Skywalker, fighting off the evil surrounding you with nothing but the Force and each other. It feels huge in a way you can’t quantify, and even though you’re terrified with what Din’s doing, you don’t take your focus off the fighter for a second. When he’s back up the gangplank in Kicker, you help Luke tank the biggest one in the shoals of ice.

Two of them are grounded. You heave a heavy breath, trying to catch air in your lungs, and then the other three are delivering an array of artillery in your direction.

“Don’t let them touch my ship!” you scream, and Luke nods. You pull the Darksaber off of your belt, and swing it at the fighter that soars overhead, searing off their blasts.

“Nova!” Luke shouts back, and you turn to watch the holster of his green lightsaber fly through the air. Seamlessly, you grab it. The blade ignites immediately in your hand.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” you yell, and Luke twists around to stand by your side. You watch him as the three remaining fighters soar in above the two of you again, heart pounding.

Luke gives you a small smile. “What you’re meant to,” he answers easily, closing his eyes and lifting his hand to the three skeletal fighters in front of the both of you, “be a Jedi.”

You close your own eyes. Two people spill out of the fighters you’ve grounded, and you let Luke shoulder the three in the sky as you run, determined, towards the two men running angrily towards you. One of them lunges for you. You use the green blade to scare him off, but he doesn’t pay it any attention, just roars at you and tries to tackle you down to the ice.

“No you don’t,” you seethe, swiping the saber at his arm. It barely cuts anything, but the burn of it makes him howl. “You don’t get to have me.”

The other one is huge, menacing, built. You stare up at him, trying to only portray strength, not showing him a sliver of weakness, but when he comes for you, he’s vicious. This one’s smarter. He brought his blaster with him, and the bolts that he fires off are lethal and dangerous.

“You have no idea what you’re up against, little girl,” he smirks, and then, lightning quick, his hand closes around your throat. You’re not even sure how it happened, because you were brandishing Luke’s blade, and you’re much faster than the large figure in front of you, but the light behind your eyes starts to fade as he lifts you into the cold air, choking you out. “I’m not going to kill you,” he whispers, a horrible grin on his face, “what we’ll do will make you wish you were dead.”

You gasp, feeling the black spots in your vision slowly pinprick. You can barely see Luke. You don’t know where Din and Grogu went in Kicker. You can still hear the jeering of the soaring TIE fighters, and you know there’s only one thing left to do. You close your eyes, let everything run out of you backward, and then offer one, singular word to the universe.

Help.

Your consciousness fades back in. The man holding you drops you to the ground, and you wheeze and retch, trying to pull all of it back, stumbling away from his grip. It takes you a second to register what’s happening. Kicker comes out of nowhere, Din fires a series of blasts to the remaining fighters, Luke takes his lightsaber back to strike down both of the men, and above them all, Grogu has his eyes closed, his ears pushed back, and his little hands up in the air, using all of his tiny powerful body to Force choke the man who tried to throttle you.

You love him. Maker, you love him, so much. You cry up to him in relief, and the second he hears your voice, he stops, leaving the thug unconscious. Din uses up the rest of the artillery to blow the remaining fighters to bits, and then he grounds the ship.

The man, strangled, warbles out, “the First Order won’t forget this.”

Luke, icily, rises one eyebrow and his right hand, coaxing the man into a faint. “Neither,” he says, coolly, even after he’s sure the other guy’s out, “will we.”

“Thank you,” you say, warmly, rocketing the baby up in your arms. “Thank you, thank you—”

“His idea,” Din says, and you look up at him, both irritated and relieved. “I’m sorry I—”

“You,” you say, voice shaking, “are not forgiven.” But you jump on him as well, wrapping your arms around the cold beskar of his shoulders. “But thank you,” you whisper, in a voice so quiet that you know only he can hear it.

“This isn’t the end,” Luke says, behind you, and he tosses the Darksaber over to you. Din catches it midair with a singular hand. “This is just the beginning.”

“I’m not tired,” you say, exhausted, holding out his saber in your hand. “Thank you. For everything, thank you.”

“No. You hang onto that,” Luke says, finally. He has a strange expression in his eyes. “Keep the lightsaber. I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you again, soon enough.”

Grogu, nestled up in your arms, stares up at you. You know, even wordless, what his huge eyes are asking. “Can we—” you start, voice shaking, “can—can Grogu come back to Mandalore with us for a few days?”

You wait with bated breath. Luke nods, meeting your eyes. “When you bring him back to Ahch-To,” he agrees, the ghost of a smile sparking up his face again, “bring my lightsaber with you. I’ll teach you a few things.”

You nod, profusely. Luke nods at the both of you, and right as he’s turning to go back to his X-wing, you find the rest of your question from earlier.

“What did you mean?” you call out, after him. “When you said what died didn’t stay dead?”

Luke’s eyes are haunted with something you don’t entirely understand. “Evil has a way of rising again,” he says, finally, “and I wouldn’t be surprised if the people I killed find a way to come back.”

It makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. “The people you killed?”

He looks at you. You know what he means. The Emperor, or at the very least, the horrible people who surrounded him. You swallow, trying to regulate your breath. “What—what can we do?”

Luke glances from Din to the baby to you. “Be a Jedi,” he repeats, his voice faraway. “I’ll see you soon.”

You nod, watching him, dazed, walk back to his ship.

“And Nova,” Luke continues, bracing himself on the ladder, “May the Force be with you.”

“And with you,” you whisper, watching as the X-wing disappears into the cloud cover, staring at the trails as they evaporate, as you hold the only tangible proof in the form of his lightsaber that Luke Skywalker was ever here at all.

The trip back to Mandalore is probably as cold as the one here, but you don’t even notice. You have the baby in your lap again, and all of the warmth in the whole galaxy is sitting here with you, green, adorable, and alive. The three of you spend the entirety of the trek cuddled up together, and when you finally land on the planet, you’re exhausted but safe. Your legs hurt from running, your scar aches from the residual cold, but you barely notice them. They’re such small hurts in comparison to all the good nestled safely in your arms.

Grogu, as always, is exhausted from using the Force to ground your ship and choking out the guy trying to do the same to you, and he falls asleep in your arms before you make your way back to the suite that Bo-Katan gifted the two fo you the last time you were here. You lay him down in the tiny bassinet in the adjoined room, his little snores just as quiet and angelic as they were the last time you heard him.

Your heart, still ran over from all the danger you’ve spent the last year fighting off, is full. You walk into the fresher, staring at your reflection. You’re positively disheveled, your clothes dirty and torn, your hair hanging half out of the braid you tied it in multiple planets ago, but that smile on your face is still lighting up even the darkest parts of your eyes. You stare at yourself, running your fingers across your lips, taking in every single inch of yourself. You don’t look like a normal twenty-six-year-old. You certainly don’t look like royalty. But you look like you. Nova, Her Highness Rebel Rouser Pilotess of the Outer Rim. Nova, wife, mother, Rebel. Nova, yourself.

That alone makes the grin stretch even wider. Din walks into the bathroom, staring at your reflection in the mirror, wrapping his big arms around your waist, letting his helmeted face rest on your shoulder blades.

“You are,” he sighs, “so beautiful.”

“I’m a mess,” you insist, giggling.

“Beautiful,” Din repeats, and when you tentatively hook your fingers under the rim of his helmet, he lets you gently pull it off. You stare at every sinch of his handsome, rugged face in the mirror, your eyes roaming over the valleys of his lips, the mountain of his nose, his gorgeous brown eyes that hold the stars.

“You are, too,” you whisper, faintly, and then he’s turning you around, his strong hands on your hips.

“I never finished giving you your birthday present,” Din murmurs, and he starts pulling his worn gloves away from his fingers. You watch as he lets them drop to the floor, breath hitching in your throat. “Do you think you could let me do that, cyar’ika?”

You nod, breathless. When he strips you down, you’re expecting to be perched on the cold metal of the sink as his mouth returns, again and again, between your thighs, but his warm, rough hands hook underneath your thighs and he carries you out of the fresher.

Din lays you down on the bed. He’s still fully clothed side from his helmet, and for what feels like an eternity, you just stare into his eyes, thanking the Maker and all the stars above that you’re the one that gets to know him like this, that he trust you to look at his face, that you broke down on Nevarro all those months ago.

And when Din dives between your thighs again, you know he’s thanking everything in the universe for the same exact things.

His mouth is an omen, a prayer, a miracle. You’ve never been particularly religious, but he makes you want to be. You can feel the way he’s opening you up, letting no part of you go untouched or untasted. You sigh, moaning loudly into the soft flesh of your arm, trying to stifle the animalistic noises he’s evoking. When his tongue finally, finally finds your clit, you can feel what he’s spelling. First it’s mine, then it’s your name, and then it’s I love you. You gasp. You could recognize it anywhere, even in the dark, and still, your pulse is absolutely racing.

“Din,” you start, strangled, “fuck—I’m—I’m gonna—”

He pulls his mouth away from you, an obscene smacking noise filling the rest of the room. “Good,” he enunciates, and then his tongue is back on you.

You’re pretty sure you see heaven. Your fingers knot tightly in his gorgeous dark hair, whimpering as he coaxes another orgasm out of you, then another, then another. Your legs are shaking, and you’re infinitely grateful that he carried you out here instead of trying to eat you on the edge of the sink, because you wouldn’t have been able to stay standing. You swallow, gasping harder and harder as his mouth pulls off your pussy and roves up your stomach, decorating your scar with the sweetest kisses, pawing gently at your tits before his mouth licks love bites into the underside, above your nipples, in the middle of your chest. You think that if he asked, you’d let Din plant hickeys literally anywhere he wanted, to put his claim on you, to prove that he’s yours. When his mouth meet yours again, it’s like you’ve died and come back to life.

You can taste yourself on Din’s lips, salty sweet. He licks into your mouth. “Taste so good,” he croons, mouth dropping to the pulse point behind your ear. You shudder as he teases you with his mouth, two fingers dipping in your slick and then pushing inside of you. You clench and moan around him, and faintly, you hear him moan about how tight you are before the rush of another orgasm rips into you and everything goes starry and skyward.

Finally, you come back to your sense, reeling. “Din,” you try again, but his name comes out in a breathless puff of air. You’re writhing under his touch, every inch of you alive and his. You feel electric.

“I’m gonna fuck you now,” he grunts out, and you don’t even have time to try to bargain for a taste of his cock, to touch him, to put your mouth in places that’ll make him feel as good as you do. For a second, he pulls you up so you can wrap your mouth around him, but the second he thrusts into your throat, he’s gone. “Not gonna last,” he murmurs, fingers tangling in your loose hair, “I have to fuck you now, cyar’ika.”

Your eyes roll back. “If—if you must,” you manage, but your voice is so thick and laden with lust that the joke doesn’t deliver. Din uses the head to rub against you a few times before he goes in, teasing your swollen clit before he pushes everything inside of you.

It’s everything. He’s not gentle, this time, which is exactly what you wanted. You don’t think you could see straight for days if he tried to pound you with ease. You want to be absolutely annihilated, to have the breath taken out of you. Wordlessly, Din does just that. He fucks into you hungrily, without remorse. You’re both moaning. His lips press up into your ear, but you can’t even recognize what he’s saying as he fucks everything out of you. Eventually, his words register-feel so good, my sweet thing, fuck, Nova—and you cry out as you clench down around him for what feels like the hundredth time. Din plants a singular kiss against your lips, moans, and whispers, “that’s it, sweet girl,” and then both of you are sent to the stars at the same time, gasping, moaning, screaming, like you’re colliding stars, like you belong to nothing but each other. It’s everything. It’s huge. It’s that something more you’ve always felt, that cosmic connection, that dual astral projection. For what feels like hours, you lay together, breathing in each other’s air, satisfied and happy.

Both of you end up in the shower, although you can’t remember either one of you asking to move towards the fresher. You let Din drag the soap over your sore shoulders, cleaning between your legs, frothing the suds in your hair. You don’t know when he had the time or the energy to do it, but he got that lavender soap you love, and the scent fills up the place with steam.

You do the same, wordlessly, dragging his soap over his broad shoulders, across his toned stomach, down both of his legs. You kiss Din as he presses his lips against yours, over and over again, and when you leave the shower, you’re both inches from sleep, happy, exhausted.

The bed is so much more comfortable than the one on Kicker. You sink into it, completely naked, shifting as close to Din as you possibly can. It’s dark in here, but you’re close to the window, and you see the foreign shapes of the buildings of Mandalore, and everything filters back in.

“Did you ever believe,” you whisper, not even sure if Din is still awake, “that when we met, we would end up both being Rebels and the leaders of a whole planet?”

“No,” he answers, immediately, his voice muffled against the back of your neck. “Not a chance in hell.”

You grin, into the darkness. “And now?”

“Now,” Din sighs, pulling you closer, “I truly can’t imagine our lives being any other way.”

You nod, in silent agreement. The night beckons you in closer and closer, and you let yourself fall onto the edge of sleep, heart full, eyes closed, exactly where you’re supposed to be. When you drift off to dreamland, you hear Din whisper he loves you, and you replay the words over and over in the back of your mind until they forge a promise stronger than the one living on your ring finger, content, together, on the precipice of something more.

Morning comes quickly, and it comes with Grogu jumping on the bed and waking both of you up with his abnormally loud cooing. You wake first, not even sure how the little guy found his way up on top of a bed that’s easily five times his height, but you pull him into the nest of sheets and blankets you and Din made in your sleep. When he wakes up, it’s slowly, and you touch your fingertips over to his face, tracing lines of love into his skin.

“Good morning, Mand’alor,” you say, and Din’s eyes open slowly.

“Not yet,” he answers, voice flat. You look over at where Bo-Katan must have left your outfits while you were gone on Hoth. His is typical—the Mandalorian beskar he’s been wearing for as long as you’ve known him, but with a neutral blue cloak to replace all that black. Your dress is gorgeous. You didn’t even know if you would have anything new for the ceremony, because all you’re doing is standing there, but you have to admit, Bo-Katan went above and beyond with this one. The color of the dress is shimmering, a dark navy blue that’s almost completely black. The fabric hugs the top half of your shoulders, and as the dress flows down the rest of your body, the blueness lightens into the same color Din’s cloak is made of. It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, rivaled only with Yavin’s sunsets and Naator’s pink skies, and when you put it on, you feel like a princess. It’s not practical, but it’s also functional, and as you interrogate the chair full of things Bo-Katan brought you, you find a matching garter, shimmering in the same impossible way the dress does, embroidered with twin silver stars. When you slip it on, the lightsaber Luke’s letting you hang onto fits perfectly, flush against your legs. There’s a small slit trailing up the dress, so hidden by the starry, shimmering fabric that no one would catch it if they weren’t looking for it, and you grin as you put it on, thanking the Maker above for the Mandalorians being so effective in their aesthetic.

“Holy fuck,” you hear behind you, and you turn around. Din’s only in his underclothes, the tiniest bit of his belly peeking out from under his new tunic, and he’s staring at you.

“Bo-Katan,” you say, shyly, taking stock of his shocked face, “does not miss.”

Din walks toward you, taking in every inch of your shimmering dress, mouth slightly ajar. “No,” he murmurs, and then he’s striding towards you, holding your face in his hands, his lips feverish and frenzied against yours. “She certainly does not.”

“Neither do you,” you whisper, dazed, touching your lips, staring at him as he shoulders the cloak. “You look—”

“Strange,” he mutters, checking out his reflection critically.

“Amazing,” you correct, walking closer. The two of you look like royalty—outfitted in all the blue bells and whistles that Mandalore has to offer, standing tall in all that silver regalia—and when Grogu tugs at the bottom of your dress, you lift him into your arms, adjusting his own blue outfit. You don’t look like a rebel and a bounty hunter and their strange baby. You look like a family, a real one, and something else. You look like you belong here.

When Bo-Katan meets you at the door, she looks equally as regal. Her eyes roam over Din’s helmeted face with slight disdain, but she looks at you like she sees stars, and when her gaze flits over to Din again, her expression has molded into something that faintly rings out excitement.

“Are you ready?” she asks, leading the three of you down the staircase at the back of the quarters. You can tell by the shift in architecture that you’re heading straight for the throne room, and your heartbeat is knocking itself dizzy. Everything feels alive and electric, that buzzing of something more loud in your ears. You know this isn’t the ending. You know that by all accounts, that this is truly a beginning—you’re about to be married to the new leader of Mandalore, you have an entire shadowy fascist regime to beat, you know practically nothing about being a Jedi—but everything that started when you crash landed on Nevarro all those years before feels like it’s settling cosmically into place. Your breathing is quick and shallow as you hear your heels click against the empty hall, trying to take everything in, and before you know it, you’re at the door.

Bo-Katan looks at you and Din. “Everyone’s in there,” she says, and her voice is gentler than you’ve ever heard it. “They’re likely not going to be happy with this. But I’m going to go out first, and I’m going to introduce you and…” she looks over at you, and then back to Din, “and then you three will come in.”

Din nods.

“Are you ready?” Bo-Katan asks again, and there’s no greed in her voice. She’s not wanting for him to fail. You watch as she stands up straighter, and you notice the same color cloak flowing out from all of her beskar. You don’t know if you fully like her, yet, but you trust her, and you know that’s far more valuable in a situation like this. She offers you the tiniest of smiles. You return it, tenfold.

Din nods again, and then opens his mouth to speak. His voice is calm through the modulator, calmer than you would have expected. “Yes,” he says, finally, “yes, I’m ready.”

Bo-Katan nods at both of you, catches your eye one last time, and then shoulders herself through the double doors. The cheering and noise of the whole planet filters through the wide doorway, and then they click closed, leaving you and Din and Grogu together with nothing but each other.

“We can still run for it, you know,” you whisper, trying to shake the jitters out of your voice. “Think about it. We could disappear back on Yavin. Or Naator. That tiny little village. Pink skies, beautiful yellow trees.”

Din looks over at you, and you know you’re looking straight into his eyes under the visor. Your heart is beating so fast. “You made a promise to me, cyar’ika,” he says, “that you won’t run.”

You grin back at him. “True. I did say that. But I meant it in the context that I was never going to run from you. I never promised I wouldn’t run with you.”

“That’s quite the loophole.”

“I’m good,” you say, giggling, “and smart. I have like ten thousand contingency plans.”

“Well,” Din says, facing back to stare at the doors, reaching his gloved hand out to meet yours, “you don’t need them here.”

You look at him. “We’re gonna pull it off,” you repeat, trying to make your promise shine just as bright as all the ones he’s given you. “All of it. You are going to be the greatest leader that Mandalore has ever known. Grogu,” you continue, looking down at your adorable, green child nestled safely in your arms, “is going to become a Jedi.”

Din turns to you again. “And you?”

You smile. “Maybe both. I contain multitudes.”

Din laughs, and the noise is so light and so free that it makes every single inch of you melt. You beam up at him. “You certainly do,” he says, quietly, and then, after what seems like a moment of deliberation, he lifts his fingers and pulls his helmet off. He doesn’t look relaxed, but he doesn’t look particularly fearful, either.

“Are you sure?” you ask, breathless, as he brings his helmet all the way off, staring back at the double doors that Bo-Katan disappeared through a minute ago. You can only faintly hear what she’s saying, but you know it’s nearing the time when the three of you—your strange, wonderful little family—have to meet her in there.

He nods. “We’re both done running,” he sighs, his voice thick with resolve, “and I’m done with hiding.”

Your eyes fill with tears. “I love you. Ni kar’tayl su, darasuum.”

“Forever, Nova,” Din whispers back. He turns to face you one last time. You stare into his eyes, that warm, eternal state of brown, and as he moves closer to you, his hands around your waist, you don’t take your eyes off of him. Not even to blink. Not even for a second. You just stare, drinking in every single inch of his gorgeous face, knowing that you know him. It pulses and burns inside you like a shared, glorious star. “This is the beginning, you know.”

“I know,” you repeat, softly, feeling as his hand gently strokes over your perfect hair. There’s a headband as part of your outfit, made out of glittering spikes of beskar, and when Din touches his hand to it, it feels like a crown. “We’re going to change the world. Stop the order. Bring peace and good things, and then when we’re done, we can retire knowing we made all of this better for the rest of the galaxy. And then,” you inhale, staring into his eyes, “we’re going to have a real wedding. Flowers. Grogu presenting our rings. Boba Fett marrying us.”

“Absolutely not,” Din cuts you off, but you can hear the lilt in his voice. “Cara or nothing.”

You grin back. “Deal.”

“And where are we retiring?” There’s a tiny sparkle of humor hidden in his voice.

“We’ll have homes on all our favorite planets,” you decide, “but we can live on the ship for good, if you like.”

“No,” Din says, his voice faraway, his thumb stroking over your cheekbone. “When I make our next home with you, it’s going to be permanent.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Nova—”

“We’re ready,” you assure him, stepping closer, tipping your head back. “I’m ready. Are you?”

After a moment, Din nods. The way he’s holding you—protective, possessive, wholly yours—it makes everything fade out. For a moment, a dazzling, fleeting moment, everything else fades out. You see the two of you on Nevarro the first time, the way his hands felt when he was patching your wounds, all the promises you both made and broke back on Dantooine, the vows to each other on Naator, the proposal on Yavin, every single time you’ve saved each other, which is now an even tally, standing together at the Rebel base, standing together through the darkness, through the light, still standing together here. You love him. With all of your heart, you love him, and you know it’ll last even longer than forever. There’s war coming, but for now, you’re with your husband and your baby, about to step into the next phase of saving the world. And after everything, after all of that, you know the perfect thing to say before moving through those gilded double doors.

“I’m ready,” Din repeats, more fortified. You nod, and then beam at him and the baby, pushing your shoulders back. “This is a lot,” he says, his voice still tinged slightly with anxiety, “are you sure?”

You step as close as you can, reaching your hand up to bring his face down to yours, tipping your foreheads together. “Din Djarin,” you whisper, “I’m sure. We were always meant for something more. And,” you continue, smiling, mouth an inch away from his, “I don’t scare easy.”

And as Bo-Katan opens the double doors, you lean into your embrace, everything rushing back to the present, the entire galaxy evaporating and colliding at once. You hear the crowd in the throne room. You don’t know what’s coming next. But, you think, as you prepare to move forward, as long as you’re doing it with Din and Grogu, you’ll be okay.

So, regardless of the open door waiting for the rest of your lives in front of you, you slide your hand down Din’s face, lean into his kiss, and whisper that you forgive him.

*

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*

I HOPE YOU ALL LOVED IT!!!! writing this has been the adventure of a lifetime. it's given me peace, solace, happiness, giddiness, and, most importantly, all of you. thank you all endlessly for coming along on this journey with me. i love each and every one of you with all of my heart. thank you for supporting me and my story, for leaving incredible comments and analysis, for being my friends, and for jumping off this crazy cliff with me. SM turned into the story i was always meaning to write when introduced Nova as her whole character, and your love for her has filled my soul up with so much joy. thank you, endlessly, for coming along this ride with me. i know this isn't a "real" ending, and that not every single little plotline was tied up in a neat little bow, but i hope you'll forgive me because i have PLANS for the sequel. give me a month or so to get writing and planning, and the next installment in the SM series will be up as soon as possible!!!! as always, i'll give ya all the updates on tumblr (amiedala) and tiktok (padmeamydala) when writing starts!

you are all so important to me. thank you for reading, thank you for loving my words, and thank you for seeing this through with me.

onward and upward; the next adventure awaits!!!

all my love always,

amelie

[realcube]

haikyuu boys with a professional volleyball player! s/o 🏆

characters: kuroo, bokuto, kita, oikawa & sakusa 

tw// swearing

thank you anon for this awesome request!

Tetsurō Kuroo

he’d tell all his teammates about you and none of them would care

well, lev would care - he’d be so excited and asking for kuroo to get him your autograph but yaku would just be like ‘you don’t actually believe him, do you? 🙄’

so yeah, yaku would convince lev and yamamoto that you were just a figment of kuroo’s imagination

even thoUGH YAKU KNEW YOU WERE A REAL PERSON BC HE HAD MET YOU BEFORE AND  HE KNEW THAT YOU WERE DATING KUROO AIREBVKZGA he just loved annoying kuroo <3

and he did the job well bc kuroo was definitely annoyed

he’d be waving his phone around, desperately trying to show lev and yamamoto the selfies he took with you but they’d just be like 😑

then he finally convinced you to come visit him at practise to put an end to his humiliation

so you appeared one day and kuroo was so hyped

but not as hyped as yamamoto

he has hot-ppl senses which tingled when you entered the room so he was the first to greet you while kuroo was sitting setting up the nets

he was literally all over you

‘woah 😍 your thigh are so toned’

‘uh thank you ???’

and kuroo was not here for it

‘AYE GET YOUR DIRTY PAWS AWAY FROM THEM!!’

yamamoto fkn shits himself and runs ✌🏃‍♂️💨

then kuroo picks you up bridal style and parades you around the gym, rubbing it in everyone’s face - especially yaku and lev

‘guys, do you see this? my totally REAL s/o! who’s been to NATIONALS!! uhuh. all mine, y’all.’

yaku is so ticked off and definitely goes to snitch him out to Nekomata

and lev is just so awed, ‘(y/n) is real???’

for a moment he thought he was dreaming too until kenma purposefully hit him with a ball

‘put me down, tetsurō.’ you groaned, folding your arms over your chest

he obeyed, gently setting you down on your feet before pecking your lips, ‘ok, well, i should probably get back to practise now - train hard so hopefully one day i can be as good as you.’ he joked, teasingly emphasising the ‘you’.

you playfully punched his arm before turning on your heels to head out, ‘you wish!’

although he’ll always joke about how amazing you are in comparison to him but he genuinely admires you 🤩

Kōtarō Bokuto

he hypes you up to his team constantly

they’ve literally never even met you and they are being asked all these questions from bokuto lol

‘hey onaga, did you see (y/n) at their nationals game the other day?’

onage flinched upon being jump-scared by his captain, then choked out a little white lie, ‘uh yeahhh.’

bokuto’s face lit up, ‘great! they were so amazing during the third set, weren’t they? what was your favourite part?’

onaga froze, ‘uhh- oh, i think i hear anahori calling me to help him practise his sets! gotta go.’ then he proceeded to bolt off

bokuto shrugged it  off at first as he shouldn’t complain bc a teammate dropped a conversation to continue training with anahori - i mean, onaga came to volleyball club to practise so he wasn’t obligated to make conversation with bokuto

but while he was saying his goodbyes to everyone as they left the gym to go home, it hit him-

‘bye, komi! buh-bye, washio! and goooodbyeeee, konoha.’ bokuto let out a relived sigh as he had now finished saying his partings which meant he could lock the gym then go home, ‘wait-- ANAHORI DIDN’T EVEN COME TO PRACTISE TODAY! ONAGA!’

bokuto was deeply disheartened that his own teammate would lie to him - to get out of a conversation about you, no less

he just wanted them all to love you as much as he does

like..he’s your biggest fan!!!

~ even post-timeskip ~

he’d show up to all of your games wearing your jersey and some of the eagle-eyed press would try talk to him

they’d interview him about his own affair or about the MSBY Black Jackals but he genuinely has no interest in talking about that bc today is your day and he is here to support you

‘are you and your team hopeful to attend Olympics despite player Miya’s rumoured injury? and disclose whether these rumours are factual?’

sakusa decked atsumu after he joked about having covid-

the interview shoved and waved a microphone in bokuto’s face while he just stared at them blankly like ◉_◉

after a while bokuto stuffed a handful of popcorn in his mouth and chuckled, ‘don’t know! but the game is about to begin, shhh!-’ he hushed the interviewer, instinctively swatting the microphone away as he stood up in the stands to cheer for you, ‘WOOOO! GO, (Y/N)!’  

then he turned to the interviewer who stood frozen with a dumbfounded look on his face, ‘THAT’S MY LOVERRRR!’ he screamed into the microphone so loudly that all the press naturally backed off

and please do the same for him when the press approach you at his games 🙏

Shinsuke Kita

ofc he dates a volleyball player player-

he is such an ushijima

he is ushijima if he wasn’t left-handed

he doesn’t really brag about you too often at practise but he feels so proud when you win a game then he comes to practise the next day and his teammates tell him to pass on a congratulations

also he always comes to your games

no matter how minor or how large

you’d think you could both bond a lot over volleyball and you did that in the beginning

but over time - especially when you started playing volleyball professionally - you found other things to bond over and saved volleyball for work

he probably runs a (y/n) stan page AEIVBARTBV

AND YOU’D NEVER GUESS

like he is literally a rice farmer- you are under the impression that he doesn’t even know what facebook is

and he’s good at selling the act too

‘did you see the picture of us i posted on my instagram?--’ you asked, taking another spoonful of your cereal

‘insta what?’ kita inquired without hesitation

then as soon as you exit the room, he’ll log onto his (y/n) twitter stan account

ok ok sorry i’ll stop now

anyway he ALWAYS tries to ensure that the first thing you eat after a big game is something that he cooks

and if you go out with your team to eat after a game to celebrate a victory, he’ll try at act sweet but he’s lowkey shady tbh

‘congratulations on your victory, (y/n). and to many more’ he lifted his glass and so did you

but just as you were about to take a sip, kita interjected, ‘but that is going to be difficult if you keep filling your body with junk rather than healthy, organi--’

‘kita-’

‘ok.’ he took a sip of his drink in your honour

HE JUST CARES ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND WELLBEING HE’S NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE 😭

Tōru Oikawa

again, when you and oikawa first started dating, volleyball was one of the only things y’all talked about

but now that you were both doing it professionally, it was basically banned in your home

well, the the game itself wasn’t banned but i mean, why would you do something all day then come back to talk about it more?

you both might adore volleyball but everything has it’s limits lol

anyway, oikawa is another one that is extra af when they come to your games

he probably makes a sign and paints his face in your team colours

and when you come out onto the court, he’ll blow you a kiss and if you don’t blow one back he’ll be so offended lmao

bc he always makes a big deal out blowing you a kiss or winking at you as soon as he steps out onto the court

it’s basically a thing he does for good luck at this point

also, if there are ever ppl trying to take pictures of y’all in public- oikawa is the first to make a big show for them

like he’s all up on you 

he’ll dip you then push his lips against you for a passionate kiss, in front of the ppl and they always go fkn crazy

he thinks he is like..Beyoncé famous...which he is not

please humble him 

but nicely 

but y’all only get attention around summertime when you are frequently playing big games 

like if oikawa leaves the house a week you competed in a big game- he’ll literally get swamped with ppl asking about you 

but contrarily, if you both leave the house in winter literally no one would even spare you a glance

on a RARE occasion, someone might sneakily snap a photo but that’s it

so you get the best of both worlds :))

also, if you’re an ace and he’s ever feeling down, if you ask him to set for you for a bit and you compliment one/all of his sets, he’ll literally feel so much better 

Kiyoomi Sakusa 

sometimes you both come back from a rough day at work, slump on the couch and watch TV together

after showering, changing, dinner etc

he’s not nna come anywhere near you if he thinks there is a chance he might be stinky from practise 

he turned on the TV and it just so happened to be on an Live volleyball game in some language that neither of you understood

he’d snake his arms around your shoulders and pull you close to his chest, satisfied by your synced breathing 

he’d press a single kiss against your jaw before shifting his attention onto the channel

you’d lay there in his arms, both of you seeming content in each other’s presence while watching the game

in reality though, neither of you were actually absorbing anything that was happening on the court - you were just staring blankly at the TV

the TV simply served as background noise to your cuddling

tbh he was way more interested in hearing the sound of your heart beat peacefully against his chest 

after a while, if he gets bored, he might finally break the silence by inquiring about your day

but if he doesn’t, you’d probably end up falling asleep in his arms, forcing him to sleep on the couch bc he’s doesn’t want to risk moving and waking you up 🥺

anyway, he’s another one that likes to save volleyball for work then leave it by the door as soon as you step inside the house 

but he’s not as uptight about it as oikawa or kita

like he’ll happily put on a volleyball match for you guys to watch if he thinks the player’s techniques are impressive

also, if the weather is nice, if you ask him to come out and practise with you for a bit and he’ll say yes 🤠

but actually 🤔 now that is think about it, if you guys had a pool in your back garden sakusa would definitely make the most of it

you’ll humbly ask him spike for you on a nice sunny day and he’ll be like

‘volleyball? really? we bought this expensive ass house with a pool which we can only use 4 out the 365.25 days of the year and you want to play volleyball? don’t you do that like..every work day.’

what can i say? man likes getting his moneys worth 🤷‍♂️

‘so is that a no to volleyball?’ you’d ask

*cue sakusa picking you up bridal style and dropping you into the pool*

then you play pool volleyball 👍

as for your games, he turns up in casual wear 😔

disappointed but not surprised

you’ll jokingly be like ‘hey! why aren’t you wearing my team colours? how are people gonna know who you’re cheering for?’ which is fair bc you turn up to all his games with his MSBY black jackals jersey with one of those foam pointy fingers with his number on it

MANS WOULD POINT TO HIS FKN WEDDING RING LIKE ‘our team colours right here.’

[lepidopterann]

More writing this time of yin and yang (my beloveds

It wasn't like they didn't expect it. Yang only ever caused problems and nowadays it felt like his personality bled over onto Yin (and vise versa, which is why Yang's cries of destruction were less based around wanting to actually hurt people and more being like a kids version of evil). And they were ready to go home. Yang had actually voted themselves, keeping his promise from earlier that day that he'd vote for Yin. But to see how many others had voted for them, including a past teammate of theirs, Paintbrush… It didn't feel great in any terms of the word. And when Silver Spoon had said that anybody would vote for them, that they were the obvious choice… That felt even less great.

But hey, even if no-one here, except maybe Candle (she'd used that weird crystal thingy and calmed them down on a few occasions, stopping Yang from doing something stupid, and always helped them up after.), they always had each other. Really they couldn't be away from each other ever, unless Test Tube would separate them again. And considering what happened last time, with both going too far in what their core personality was like, that wouldn't happen again for a while. They knew they needed the balance of each other, that's why they were put together. 

Even then, walking away from the beach, they felt like the loneliest creatures on earth. For once their emotions were in sync. But, before they could get too far, a hand pressed on their shoulder.

"So uh-" Silver Spoon, looking quite awkward, stood there, pulling at the collar of his fancy little suit. Behind him lurked Candle who gave a small wave to the two. "No hard feelings, right? It was for the good of the team and I knew you would be safe!"

"And you couldn't have told us?" Yin asked, rolling his eye. But it was relieving. At least they weren't in any danger of actually leaving. 

"Yeah, we could've easily voted with you anyways," Yang said, taking the silver-haired man's hand from their shoulder and letting it swing. "Even if you are a total jerk."

"Coming from you, that's rich."

"Oh, shut up."

"Hm, well, from now on, how about you two," Silver Spoon stepped back and pulled Candle with him when he returned to his original spot. Her calm expression didn't change in the slightest. "Join us, in an alliance."

That took both of them off guard. In their history in this game, no one had offered them a part in their little cliques. They were always too busy arguing with each other and Yang was always so aggressive that no one seemed to want to be around them. But Yin shook their head and took Silver Spoons hand (who in turn flinched at the sudden contact). 

"We'd love to!" He grinned, sharp teeth flashing in the flickering light of the fire lamps all around. Their other arm came down and, not super hard, punched their side.

"Hang on, don't talk for me here!" Yang cried, narrowing his eye. "We'll think about it."

"Well then, we'll see you at the cabins then," Candle murmured, her voice clear and loud in their ears despite her soft, whispery tone. 

With that, the two left, walking together surprisingly. Whatever they'd done while gone had apparently made the rich (bitch was the word that Yang filled in, only to be mentally reprimanded by Yin) boy trust the girl he'd been so against a few hours earlier.

"What was that?!" Yang asked, internally this time. They didn't need everyone hearing all their arguments, especially after they'd learned how to talk to each other in their mind. "This isn't just you, y'know! And that tall man isn't my cup of Dr. Fizz!"

"Yes, yes I know, but Candle is very nice, and I know you agree because I saw your journal entry on her," Yin replied, almost smugly. For a moment all he got in return was upset sputtering before a splitting headache and Yang starting to yell.

"I thought we were both going to keep to our own brain bedrooms!" He screeched, clenching their fists tightly. 

"Calm down, you big baby, it was earlier, before we agreed on that,"

"Oh I'm the baby?!"

Their mental argument continued for the entirety of their walk back to the cabins, and by the time they were back it was like their throats were raw from yelling, and the headache had gotten worse ( despite Yang having pulled off the gas, so to speak). They were so tired, that Yang just let Yin take over fully to get them ready for bed, insisting it was because he wanted to get back at Yin for being mean and completely not because he wanted to go to sleep first. 

With half their body asleep already, Yin got them all cleaned up, washed their hair (how Yang had managed to get a whole stick stuck in there, he'd never know), drank a nice glass of warm milk (instead of that Dr Fizz crap Yang had been guzzling earlier. Bleh, his teeth hurt just thinking about it. He brushed their teeth twice to make up for it), put on his comfy pajamas, tossing their overly long-sleeved jacket on their door, and walked into the bedroom. Paintbrush was already laying down in their bed, hair everywhere. Yin pulled his stuffed animal (a soft panda, old and flat from how often it had been crushed with their hugs ever since they were young) from under their bed (which was, appropriately enough, two toned, though in shades of purple instead of black and white), and flopped over into bed.

An alliance. That sounded nice. He thought, closing their eyes and turning on their side to curl into a tight ball around their panda, and eventually drifting into sleep like his brother.

[sirikenobi12]

This Capt' goes down with her Ship

I’m honestly amazed at how many messages I receive both here and on Twitter that ask me why I ship Obi-Wan with Siri Tachi over Satine Kryze. I guess I’m mostly amazed because I can’t believe people actually care enough to take the time to message me about my character preferences, that’s just really fascinating to me. 

But, since I’m getting tired of writing this out in individual messages I thought perhaps a blog would be a good idea so that way I can just reference/link them to it later - it’ll be much easier. So, bear with me while I get a little self indulgent (and Satine stans please don’t come at me, I will explain below how I really have nothing against Obitine). 

This is going to be really long, and I’m not expecting anyone to actually read this, but here we go! 

I’ll begin by answering questions that are sitting in my inbox:

1. Who the hell is Siri Tachi?? For those who don’t know the character of Siri Tachi, she was a female Jedi who was two years younger than Obi-Wan. She was originally from the Legends young reader book series Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest (written by Jude Watson). She was in many of the same Padawan classes as Obi-Wan even though she was two years his junior because of her advanced skills. She could hold her own against him in a lightsaber duel even as they grew up. She was chosen as an apprentice to Jedi Council Member Adi Gallia at age 11 which was very impressive given how young she was and the fact that a Council Member chose her.

(I don’t know why she looks like Brittany Spears in this drawing, not my fave)

She did have a hard time fitting in with her peers when she was younger though because she was so focused on her career as a Jedi which didn’t always make her the friendliest person to be around (it was really her masking her insecurities) and it was only after she was paired on several missions with Obi-Wan that they even became friends. 

She and Obi-Wan over the years grew very close and eventually discovered their feelings had crossed the line from friends to something more while on a mission when they were older Padawans (Obi was 18). They had been separated from their masters and nearly died while on that mission. So, before they “died” they each confessed their love to the other, but when it turned out they didn’t actually die they decided they’d wait and figure out what their relationship actually meant once the mission was over - putting duty above their feelings. But Qui-Gon and Yoda intervene before the two of them could have the conversation and the Masters reminded Obi-Wan of his dedication to the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan argued that he and Siri would be able to find a way to be together while still being active Jedi, that maybe they could be an exception to the rule or even change the rule entirely. Both he and Siri did end up choosing their commitment to the Jedi over their relationship in the end, because each of them realized they’d regret not being Jedi more than anything, but it did put a strain on their friendship for many years. 

At 23 Siri was secretly knighted and her first solo mission was sent undercover to infiltrate and take down a huge pirate slaver operation and she spent 4 years on that mission, all on her own with limited communication with the Council.

In order to do this she had to pretend to have a falling out with her Master and “leave” the Order entirely, everyone thought she had fallen to the dark side. Obi-Wan was devastated, and he spent several months looking for her because he refused to believe she’d actually fall. It was also clear that he was heartbroken that she left, especially knowing what they had given up in order to be Jedi. Upon ending the mission she returned to the Jedi and was then often sent on other undercover missions throughout the rest of her career (including one where she and Obi-Wan had to play a royal married couple which was super cute). Her actually being a Jedi Shadow is not official and is a fanfiction creation - but, it’s one that I 100% headcanon because it just makes sense. 

Siri was very different when she returned from her long undercover mission, she had lived as a pirate for 4 years and so she was not as uptight and rule bound as she had been in her youth. She began to wear tight unisuits/flight suits instead of the traditional Jedi tunics and she had grown to be a bit more irreverent - even showing up late to Jedi Council summons.  Obi-Wan didn’t seem to mind the change and the two became a formidable pair as Knights and they were sent together (with their Padawans who hated one another) on several missions.

Obi-Wan and Siri were always written as being equals, never one more powerful than the other. They often shared flirtatious banter (nothing new for Obi-Wan) and they seemed very much in sync on missions that it was clear they shared some kind of bond. They never seemed to let their failed romance stand between them and their duty, and only brought it up once more as adults to admit that they still loved each other, but were content to just be friends because it would be selfish of them to turn their backs on the Jedi simply for their love. Then upon Siri’s untimely death (she of course died in his arms) she told him that she’d always be with him. And he nearly fell to the dark side due to his anger, but stopped himself from killing the man who was responsible for Siri’s death because he knew she’d not want him to fall because of her. 

In canon there isn’t much about her (yet), except that Siri is said to be the girl Obi-Wan would hold hands with under the table during mid-day meals which suggests that they had a bit of a secret affair/flirtation for many years.

2. Why don’t you like Satine? This is a bit of a loaded question because even though I tend to write fics centered more on Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the character of Satine or that I don’t swoon over their relationship from time to time thanks to some very well written fics ( @mahizli​ I’m looking your way). I just tend to write Siri more than Satine because I can relate to Siri more as a character, but in truth I also feel Siri and Obi-Wan’s relationship is a bit more well rounded than his and Satine’s 

*ducks to avoid things being thrown at her*. 

Satine and Obi-Wan have a beautiful love story, don’t get me wrong. But for me personally I am a little sick of the Romeo & Juliette/star crossed lovers angle. And that’s totally what they are - She’s a Mandalorian, He’s a Jedi, it’s a forbidden love not just because of his code, but because their “families” were mortal enemies. And I guess I’m just not super inspired by it. Not to mention that they met as children (apparently only 15 years old according to canon), confessed their undying love for one another after a year of knowing one another in a life or death situation and then pined for each other for the next 20 years until they were reunited...I just have a very hard time finding this story relatable (and hate to say it, plausible). Not that they couldn’t have felt love for one another as teenagers (especially in that situation), but that they still felt that same level of love 20 years later without ever seeing one another...at least with Siri they still had to interact with one another on a regular basis so it would be harder to push those feelings aside. 

The other reason I have a hard time writing Satine and Obi-Wan is because the romantic love they seem to have in TCW is written to be very one sided in my opinion. While Obi-Wan clearly cares for her, and admits to having feelings for her at one time it’s only ever Satine who actually seems to want something with him in the current sense. Which honestly makes their relationship feels a bit cringy to me, it doesn’t feel like it’s on equal footing - and makes it seem like Satine is a bit obsessive (I don’t blame her, it is Obi-Wan after all). This is a similar argument I have about Padme’s character, I feel like we’re presented with these incredibly strong women characters who for whatever reason still fall apart when it comes to love...I think it’s a reflection of men trying to write women and it ends up being a bit of a fantasy (the sexy/badass woman who secretly needs a man to save her). So, to sum up - I really do  love Satine’s character outside of her relationship with Obi-Wan. 

Again, this is just MY interpretation of Satine and Obi-Wan’s relationship...I get other people tend to feel very differently and that’s wonderful!! 

I will say, the thing I do like about Obi-Wan and Satine’s relationship and very much appreciate is how it is an opposite parallel to Anakin and Padme’s relationship. And it shows what a Jedi should’ve done - how you can’t have both a commitment to the Jedi Order and a marriage, but you can still care deeply about another person. I do very much appreciate that aspect of their relationship and it’s very well done from that perspective.

3. So, why SiriWan after all these years? Well, I’m drawn to Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship for several reasons, but mostly because they are written as equals/partners (as I had mentioned above), both have moments where you can see the love they hold for one another - their feelings are very much shared and not one sided, but above all it’s not the main defining factor of their relationship. They are Jedi and friends before anything else, and I love that! It may not be as flashy or maybe even as passionate as say Satine or Cody but to me it’s more full and well rounded. I can also see their relationship growing and changing over the years, they aren’t stuck in one place or in the past.  

I also tend to find the Jedi culture more fascinating than the Mandalorians. I know, I know, I’m a heretic. That’s not to say, again that I don’t think Satine on her own isn’t fascinating, I just am a little tired of Mandalore’s importance in virtually every aspect of Star Wars these days and I feel like there is only so much you can do with Obi-Wan having feelings for a Mandalorian, where as him navigating a relationship with another Jedi is more interesting. The Jedi are allowed to be intimate with people, contrary to popular belief they are allowed to love, they just can’t become possessive/attached - I feel like two Jedi would have an easier time navigating that than someone who wasn’t raised with that same code. I think Siri and Obi-Wan have more opportunities to have a more realistic and adult relationship and I like writing/exploring that. 

The other thing I like about Siri and Obi-Wan specifically is the fact that neither ever really considered leaving the Order for the other. They knew how important being a Jedi was to the other, and I think having a love interest that Obi-Wan didn’t consider leaving for is an important distinction. 

Instead he thought they would be able to change the rules/code because he assumed it would be obvious that their love was pure and not an attachment. Now, obviously they both realized later that it was just foolish/young love talking (because I’m sure teenagers have to be extra careful of forming attachments), but what I really adore the concept that Obi-Wan “by the code” Kenobi had loved Siri so much that he’d even remotely consider the idea that he’d want the rules to change for her/them (and Siri “by the code” Tachi felt the same about him). There is something incredibly romantic about that - naïve, but romantic. 

I also believe that romantic love doesn’t automatically equal “true love”. I personally feel that Obi-Wan and Siri have a love that is on such a deep level that their relationship doesn’t always have to be romantic. They simply just love one another, in whatever form that takes at any given period in time throughout their lives, sometimes it takes the form of just friends, sometimes lovers, sometimes romantic. And I wish we saw more relationships like that in various media. But I get why we don’t, they are harder to write and less overtly sexy/dramatic.

Also, when someone says the phrase:

“Forgive me if I still think I know you better than anyone.” (Siri)

And it’s followed immediately with:

“You do”  (Obi-Wan)

My heart just melts, because that to me is love!!

4. So, you actually think Obi-Wan loved both Siri & Satine? Yes, I do...100%. I think they all loved other people at different points in their lives. I personally feel that most of Obi-Wan’s various ships (with exceptions of Master/Padawan ships...sorry, just not my bag) actually happened. I could see a young Obi-Wan having a fling with Quinlan Vos (I doubt they could handle more than that), I could definitely see him have an attraction/affection towards Cody (I don’t think given the power dynamic Obi-Wan would ever allow anything to actually happen between them though), I even believe he and Ventress had a rather confusing and passionate night together (maybe even more than one), I can see him easily having a relationship at one point with Taria Damsin (to which Siri would give him endless crap about because he seems to have a thing for Jedi Shadows). I’m sure he even had a relationship with Annileen on Tatooine to help find some comfort during his exile. To me all of that makes so much more sense than him (and Satine) pining away for one another for 20+ years. 

Allowing Obi-Wan to have multiple loves in his life also helps showcase the idea of non-attachment. It’s not that Jedi promote promiscuity - though they won’t judge anyone for it (I see the Jedi very much in the mindset of: it’s your body/your choice) it’s that the idea of attachment means possessing someone, thinking you own someone and also putting that person’s value over others. The idea that Obi-Wan could find love and value in a multitude of lovers to me shows him capable of loving without attachment - He is able to let these people go when the relationship has run its course...it’s very healthy. 

Not to mention that realistically people tend to have multiple relationships and loves throughout their lives. To only ever love one person is incredibly unrealistic, unhealthy and frankly screams attachment to me *cough Anakin, cough*.

In conclusion: If you’re still reading this (did you not have anything better to do with your time???) I do hope you have a bit more of an understanding why I personally like to write Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship instead of his and Satine’s. Though if you read my fics (thank you if you do) I hope you realize that I try to not make the stories all about their relationship - yes, it pops up here and there, but I try not to make it the focal point. I believe both Obi-Wan and Siri are so much more than just a romance and that’s what I really love writing. 

But I raise a glass and toast all of those who prefer to ship Obitine or CodyWan or Ventrobi (or whatever Obi-Wan and Quilan’s ship name is) - I love reading your take on those relationships and I hope you don’t mind if an old SiriWan shipper joins the fun!

Phew, rant over...man, does anyone else have to defend their OTP preferences to strangers?? It’s just so odd to me! 

Thanks for reading, and if you’re a Siri, Obi-Wan or SiriWan fan drop me a line - I can seriously talk about them for hours!