#so many typos because i write on my phone and never edit my own work | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

m1ckeyb3rry · 18 days

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LMAOOOO yeah lowk it was still more funny than embarrassing for me catching that typo here but if I found it after I sent it to someone else I think I’d be a goner

(Also wait speaking of I forgot to mention you’re seriously a trooper for reading all of orv…I followed the comic for awhile but I have a friend whose obsessed with it and like summarized the entire novel to me in like an essay (I’m still confused as hell because I lost track of the details) but after hearing it all from them it’s truly a ride…)

NOOO I SAW!! Ofc it’s sae LMAO classic itoshi scenario…yk maybe Karasu nation will come in clutch last minute…(I’m ngl I’m kinda glad none of those characters are on there oops LMAOOO I also don’t think they’d have much to do with aiku and honestly there’s so many works of them all) Ok I still kinda feel like it’s a win tho bc Karasu and Barou in second and third???

FRRR the edits are gonna go so hard…just imagine the Barou stripping scene LMAOO (the dudebros glazing Barou are everywhere omg)

I love how “the white haired dude” is an archetype of its own it’s so funny but so real…(gotta confess Im usually in the white haired dude fan section like somehow I end up gravitating to them too)

IM CRYING THE PARENTHESES it just goes on“or fifth…sixth……15th…” LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

I’m crying your writing has made MY standards too high but honestly so real…even seabird sae is already better than like…a good majority of the population out there this is lowk sad

LMAOAO THE SELF HELP BOOKS I see the vision the purple green was also perfect for him

OOOOH I guess we’ve just gotta see what tiktok audio pops up on your fyp LOL but I’m excited I was leaning towards chigiri or Barou I was looking cooking way more for their ideas

LOL it’s ok that Nagi requester will get Nagi content from oaeu too!! I’m actually so hyped for the series

LMAO I plugged them into a generator and got Karasu!! I guess it’s the universe telling me not to stray from Karasu nation….lowk almost forgot that he’s essentially my namesake I got too desensitized to it so the generator really said remember your origins

OHHHHHHHHHH wait that’s kinda stupid on tumblrs part wdym the creator can’t see the results unless they vote??? SHDHS thats actually so annoying your rant is so valid (also just generally feel free to go wild ranting or venting it’s all good w me) im ngl if you want the next time you make a poll i can just vote early on and keep you updated on the results if you don’t wanna have that option there for people to screw with…but BRO YUKI AND OTOYA???? I know they generally still lag behind Karasu in terms of popularity s2 please save them

LMAO nah it’s perfectly reasonable and valid like some people don’t have the brain development for proper impulse control ig like damn

Ok well in the time I was writing it ig it’s over now good for you sae fans good for you (BOOO TOMATO TOMATO /j)

- Karasu anon

HAHAH our freaks are so matched i don’t even blink at 90% of your typos we truly are the same person LMAOAO

omg i LOVEDDDD orv i read it on my phone in the summer of 2023 when i had nothing else to do and it was genuinely so so good like the novel is PEAK i never read the webcomic version because i’m attached to the translations in the novel even though they’re not “official” but genuinely the novel is probably one of if not THE best things i’ve ever read like it actually changed my brain chemistry fr (it’s a long build but the ending arc is peak fiction)

SAE WON 💔 but very proud of karasu nation and barou nation for locking in and getting them so close to sae that was def unexpected!! and yeahhh that’s the vibe i was getting too like there’s no way for them to realistically be involved w aiku so it wouldn’t make sense for them to be there PLUS i don’t like them that much so i can’t cook up an idea to involve them w aiku the way i did w nagi 😰 speaking of which i think i have the idea for yukimiya HAHA basically aiku is like “okay we’re the two oldest blue lock members let’s be best friends 😄” and yukimiya is like “thanks but i already have a bestie ☺️” and ofc aiku is like WHAT and has to do some heavy recon (he probs recruits niko too LMAO atp niko is an honorary wingman just because he’s consistently aiku’s sidekick) and that’s where he finds reader which makes be like “hold on there is definitely something romantic going on here” so he tries to get yuki and reader together in order to finally have a soccer playing bff who’s also relatively normal (@ barou)

the craziest thing abt dude bros glazing barou is that he’s physically their ideal but in every other way he is NOTHING like them!! like that man respects women, cooks and cleans, is willing to accept his mistakes and work on them, hates people who are mid…he would think they’re goofy asf 😭

KDJDKSSJ i normally don’t really go for the white haired characters but nagi is an exception…my other top favs have been eren from aot (brown hair), megumi and yuta from jjk (black hair), and shinah from yotd (blue hair??) HAHA honesty karasu and rin are very in line w the kinds of characters i typically like physically but idk smth abt nagi appeals to me the most 🙂‍↕️

FBKDDNSJSN luckily it was NOT shidou!! i’m going to repost it so i’m sure you’ll know by the time you read this but i got chigiri 🤩 which honestly i can actually see but specifically his actual canon miraverse characterization NOT his overly feminized fandom self 😭 apparently they originally thought nagi which slay but they came to the same realization i did a while ago which is that as much as i love him the two of us are too similar in some ways and too different in other ways so we would actually not work out irl 😓💔 honestly chigimira wasn’t one i was necessarily expecting but it might be what i needed (idk if i could muster up a long fic idea for chigiri…maybe?? we will see #tbd)

LMAOAAO me when a man slides into my dms but he doesn’t buy me plane tickets and an expensive sandwich 😒 abt to start telling everyone i have a bf or smth HAHA because unless a man is miraverse bllk men level he’s simply not replacing nagi or karasu or sae or whoever 🥱

HELPP i’m glad the vision comes through i rlly like this cover!! i think i’m going to put the character’s name where it said “masterlist” on the masterlist so it’s easy to tell who the individual oneshot is abt 🤩 don’t want people to start reading expecting an aiku fic (at least until the last part which actually is for aiku)

i just got a barou request HAHA so it’ll def be chigiri or MAYBE bachira depending on what i feel inspired for!! agreed it’s time to open tik tok and feel the vibes out for what i want to write next…maybe watch some edits too while i’m at it for further assistance 😏

HAHA no fr stay true to your origins…i’m going to write all of them eventually anyways so it’s not that deep but i just wanted to figure out where I should start since all of them have such good premises that i can’t decide!! rip otoya and yukimiya though…hoping s2 + oaeu converts more people 😰

for now i think it should be okay like it’s nbd since so many other people do vote as well it’s just like a personal pet peeve HFKDJDSJS we all have smth that makes us tweak i suppose…i’m just in my isagi on field era 😩 i don’t do polls that often so it shouldn’t be a huge issue but expect me to have at least a paragraph in our convos crashing out over that whenever i do end up making a poll 😭

sae nation is too strong…they’re inevitable fr KFJDKD honestly proud of karasu and reo for hanging on for a bit that’s impressive 🤩 in the end though an itoshi bro is basically a guaranteed win (unless like i said kaiser or MAYBE isagi are in the running too)

#answered asks

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symbiotic-slime · 2 months

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that's a lot, but still: for the fanfic ask game: ❤, 💥, ⏰️ , 👓 , 🦋 , 🦈, 💭, 🧪, 🔥, 💘,💡, 🔎, 🎨 .

SORRY, THAT'S A LOT!!! 😭

hi I’m so so sorry it took me a bit to get around to this 😭 also never apologize for sending too many, I am professional yapper and will take every opportunity to talk about my fics :D

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

oooo this is tough! I have to go with this line from the fic I’m working on right now, which kinda goes too hard for a fanfiction that involves a man falling in love with mold

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Eddie Brock being the King in Black. I know there’s a lot of people who think it’s cool and like it, but to me it just feels out of place for him. like he should just be A Guy™️, not like the commander of all symbiotes and able to move through time or whatever the hell is going on right now in the current run.

⏰️ Do you like to post fics on a schedule or at random?

they’re definitely at random! it’s just whenever I get bursts of inspiration, I’m trying to be more regular (especially with VenomFest— I’m trying to keep up with it being weekly) but yeah, there’s no schedule 😅

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

this is gonna make me sound like an iPad baby but I love having videos I’ve already seen on in the background while I write! if Coffeezilla isn’t explaining a scam on my tv while I write on my phone/laptop than I am operating at like 50% efficiency 💀 It’s so bad 😭

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

I absolutely love writing the Venom Symbiote!! they’re such a goober it makes them so enjoyable to write! also it’s so fun to write about human things from the perspective of a guy who’s confused by them all the time.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Don’t know if he’s actually tough to write but part of the reason I haven’t written any symbiOT3 fics is because I’m scared of fucking up Flash 😭 I get like that with new characters, I get so petrified of writing them even though I find when i actually do write them it’s not as bad as I think. like it took me a while to build up to writing comics!Eddie, even though he’s not that hard to write (imo) and very fun to write!

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

LGBT delusions /j

my genuine answer is honestly not far off from that though— Venom and Eddie just exist in my brain all the time and writing about them helps me from just rotating them in my brain all day.

🧪 Do you research for your fics?

a bit? it depends on what I’m writing because most of it isn’t stuff that requires research, but if I ever get around to my Malevolent/Venom crossover I’m going to have to figure out how investigations actually work.

🔥 Have you included any sexy scenes in your fics? If yes, do you find them easy or difficult to write?

I have written them and I find them lowkey difficult to write 😭 I love writing them— all the ones I have published right now are x reader fics but the TMA au does get weirdly horny. listen okay im not crazy the corruption draws on sexual horror so it’s narratively compelling for Eddie to be horny for mold— [I am dragged out of the room by armed security guards]

💘 Is it easier to write angst or fluff?

fluff!! I find it hard to write angst— I just want all of them to be happy and gay and live happily ever after

💡How many WIPs do you currently have?

Currently I have two WIPs! I’ve got my Magnus archives AU, which has three WIP chapters, and I started writing a Eddie/Venom/Reader smut fic >:3

🔎 Does anyone beta read or edit your fics?

some of my irl friends beta read and edit my fics!! @fist-of-vengeance and @cyborg-empress are what keeps me from publishing fics with typos and just overall issues, I cannot thank them enough!!

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

OUGH there’s too many,,, I’ll try to narrow it down to just three of my favourites:

good old fashioned symbrock smut from Symby’s perspective:

symbiOT3 fic where Flash and Eddie are neighbours! it’s so adorable, I cannot wait for the next chapter:

and a fic where Venom is the monster under kid!Eddie’s bed! kinda heavy (it deals with Eddie being abused), but it’s so heartwarming to see kid!Eddie and Venom becoming friends and Venom protecting Eddie:

#thank you so much for the ask!!!!#sorry again for taking a while to answer this I genuinely don’t have an explanation as for why 😭#ask game #fanfic ask game

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droughtofapathy · 3 months

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I'm too lazy to get my phone out and scroll through emojis, which I know you'll appreciate. "what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?" "share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on" "what's the fastest way to become your mutual?"

And because I know this is going to cause internal bleeding: "give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing"

Thank ya, love.

Oh thank god, I don't have to go scrolling back to find the post. Big fan of no-emoji asks.

"what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?" Essays. I'm lucky enough to have many beloved mutuals who will show up on the doorstep of my works with lengthy analysis, discussion, and favorite lines all ready to go. I'm a writer who wants to discuss the work in intimate detail, so these comments are like catnip to me.

"share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on" Stop giving a fuck. Do what you want and what you like and to hell with what others are doing or thinking. Having confidence in yourself is the easiest way to deal with problems. I have always been an extremely confident person, but as a kid I still had a lot of stress and anxiety, and though even at such a tender age, I was still doing what I wanted, I was also doing it with a lot more neurotic energy. I had panic attacks semi-frequently, but (and this is really bad advice from a professional mental health perspective because I'm realizing how trivializing it sounds) I got rid of all the stress and anxiety and neuroses by just...not having them. It sounds absurd, but I'm living the high life with none of the mental health issues so many of my friends have because I just decided to stop being anxious and stressed all the time, and more importantly, I'm so fucking sure of myself. This is not something most people are able to do. Proper treatment is important: I just... didn't need it. I looked at all those reasons I was stressed and upset and just said "who cares? So what? What's the worst that could happen and what am I actually going to do about it if it does? Nothing matters. I'm fantastic. So why am I wasting my time and energy being so worked up about everything?" And that's kind of just how I live my life. Nothing matters, things happen, life goes on. I know I'm a fucking delight. (And yeah, it's probably really aggravating to hear someone just say stop having anxiety, because it's not that simple. But it was for me.

So that's my advice: be confident. Be apathetic. I'm sure of what I think and what I do. Have trust in yourself. Just do whatever it is that you need or want to do.

"what's the fastest way to become your mutual?" Barrel into my DMs with lengthy rants/discussions at the ready. Talk to me about my writing or the theatre. I'm actually not great at fast-tracking mutuals. I know all of my current beloved mutuals can attest to the fact that it did take time for me to follow back. Just stick with me. I'll get there eventually if I like what's on your blog and I connect with you personally.

"give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing" Me talking to myself: Jesus fucking Christ, why won't you take some goddamn time to edit your work? Would it kill you to take a breather in between finishing the last sentence and putting it up on the archive with barely a cursory reread for typos (especially given how they keep slipping by anyway)? Why must you be so stubborn? It's not admitting incompetence by doing a second draft. Try it out sometime and see what happens. You might even like it.

(Unfortunately, I am cursed with a staggering amount of confidence--bordering on arrogance--and my first drafts are pretty damn fantastic. I never had to try very hard to get top marks for school essays, so I was stuck in this no-edit lifestyle from an early age and just never bothered to get out. It's working for me.)

#damn this really reads insufferable #ah well. someone around here has to have the audacity of a straight white man and it might as well be the disabled asian lesbian #i've earned the right

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blakbonnet · 2 years

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I was tagged by Jams @not-nervous-jester to share my writing process so here you go, I'm sorry but this will get a bit long and it'll not be proofread cause life's too short (and my laptop has 4% battery left) 🙃

Do you write in order?

Yes and No. I start off any writing project (whether it be fanfic or work) with a detailed outline of the major plot points. I do the endings first more often than not when I'm planning a fic, then the middle, and finally, once those are out of the way, then I'll tackle the beginning kinda.

Because I write like a person possessed, the beginnings sort of just happen on their own but I need a guideline for hitting the major points or it will be all out of whack.

How fully formed does your writing come out the first try?

About 100%. Because I am so incredibly stupid and anal about this stuff, my first try is essentially a weighty tome of garbage. You can only throw out the garbage once I'm done, you can't add more to it. I guess this analogy doesn't work but it works in terms of the ✨ vibe ✨ I'm trying to create, stay with me people!

How many drafts do you go through?

Just one actually. If there is stuff in the first draft that I am not okay with, I will stop writing and simply leave it for a week or a month until I feel like picking it up again later 😐 The only time I actually create a new draft is when parts of the original are unreadable. Actually I'm lying, I just add stuff to the first draft while whistling and being inconspicuous.

Tell me about your process.

First comes the playlist. It HAS to start with a playlist. Every project has a separate playlist. Songs can be repeated, playlists cannot be the same though. It's a thing, and if I don't do it, it'll be a whole separate thing tbh.

The playlist has to be instrumental, it has to be mainly cellos and violins for the meatier scenes, piano is okay for the fluffy non-plot filler bits that I'm writing for my own entertainment. There can be no words or bits of the fic will turn into a Metallica song, I'll be sued, I'll lose everything and most importantly, the fic would never be finished.

Next comes the poetry, stuff that is actually inspiring the work and pushing it forward. That usually goes in tumblr drafts so it's easier for me to access from my phone. This is usually screenshots from e-books or actual pictures from physical books.

Because I do a fairly detailed outline beforehand, I usually start writing the beginning because that's what I haven't planned out yet and am most excited by. This takes me the longest amount of time and I also do a LOT of rewriting at this stage because personally, as a reader, I do abandon a lot of fics if the beginning isn't doing it for me.

I use google sheets cause I'll sometimes reread my stuff over the phone but I only ever write on the laptop, my phone is mainly for rereading and obsessing.

I also edit as I go along based on feel and make notes where I need to add stuff. If I edit later once I'm done, it usually doesn't come out like I want it to.

Once chapters are done, I copy paste them into Google Translate so I can hear them being read back to me. I catch a record number of missed typos and errors this way. I'm very conscious of the way I write dialogues because I'm so nitpicky when I'm reading other people's dialogues and this also allows me to correct issues with those (the "he would never fucking say it like that" errors)

After the first couple chapters, I'll share the google doc with mutuals and friends (mostly Ara @stedebonnets ) and I don't have a beta reader. Plot points I'll discuss with Josh and Joy 😭 and I don't publish fics on ao3 until the entire thing is written cause I'm a big stinking fic abandoner lmao (smauglock fic from 5 years ago rip 🪦 sorry readers)

This is the writing process that went into Need for Stede ✌️which was incredibly fun to write!

I'd like to tag @wearfinethingsalltoowell @abigailpents @talkstoself @red-sky-in-mourning @ratchet @stedebonnit and anyone else who wants to do this!

#tag games #this was fun #I think most people have already done this tho but feel free to jump in

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fabdante · 1 year

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idk if anyone's getting my asks bc tumblr is ✨️like that✨️ but anyway for the fanfic ask game-

7, 42, and 46

ok ok so hi! hi, very late to answer this because tumblr did not send these to me until today, several months later? but its ok because i have the ask now and i tracked down the meme in question! thank you for sending these in!!

a link to the fan fic ask game!

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

In some ATLA stuff I've been working on, I've been enjoying adding some more West Asia to things. There's not a lot of West Asian/North African influence on the show, but it's there (particularly with the Sand Benders) and I think it's fun to explore and add some more nuance to! Particularly because in both shows the Sand Benders are not really...presented with any nuance.

So I've been having fun adding more West Asia to the Earth Kingdom, particularly foods and different little cultural things here and there to bring more of that influence in! Especially because I think large parts of the fandom don't realize like...that this stuff is already in the show, that West Asia is part of Asia, and perhaps we would like to be presented as a little more then 'those horrible evil irredeemable desert people who stole Appa'.

(I also answered this one back in May with a somewhat different answer if you want to check that out!)

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

I also answered this in May but I have a new answer.

Since this ask was sent I posted my fic An Inexact Science and all the comments there were very sweet and kind however I also got this one bot that kills me:

Like....what does this mean asdfghjk is this good or bad?

46. Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write?

I'm really really bad at typing on my phone (like can barely make it through a word without one typo at least bad) so I use my computer most of the time. I have also been extremely won over by Scrivener as it fits in perfectly with my typical writing process that I've had since I first started writing on the computer in like...middle school.

With art and writing I tend to start many projects at once and jump rapidly between them. Either due to not wanting to write a certain part, feeling like writing a certain mood or ship or character, or feeling a sudden burst of inspiration for something. So Scrivener definitely enables me to write this way due to how it's set up for you to write different things in sections and flip between them easily. All of my one shots are in one document and I just file through them accordingly. If a one shot gets too big though, I make it's own document for ease of editing and flipping between parts! If I didn't write on my computer I definitely wouldn't do this, it'd be a lot more work I think.

However I do sometimes write on my phone, mostly exclusively if I'm away from my computer and have an idea I NEED to get down. Ironically, sometimes this is some of my most fun stuff, probably because it's the type of writing that I just need to get out and that stuff is always the coolest I think.

thank you again for sending this ask!! and I'm sorry it took me until now to get to it I have no idea why it never sent and then decided to now like...several months later! But it was a delight to find!! (and I hope you don't mind me tagging you @judging-seahorse I just want to make sure you see that I finally saw this asdfghjkl)

#ask #fab talks #fabtalks #i have no idea why this finally got sent to me today but i launched my way to my archives to find the questions asdfghjk #anyway i've been having fun with the west asia stuff like it's not a ton but every little bit is fun like i'm working on this weird jinjetk #thing and they've been traveling on the coast of the earth kingdom and i used it as an excuse to add lebanese food because like #my fan fic i get to decide the menu asdfghj

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ghostoftheyear · 1 year

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I just read a comment on a post that made me very concerned, so I wanted to put out a PSA.

Someone was panicking during the recent AO3 outage, where the DDoS was trying very hard to put the site under for good, because they didn't have any way to recover their fics. Which is terrifying, sure... if all you ever do is write directly into the draft page on AO3.

But. Why would you do that?

Like. OK. I know I'm old, and I'm also privileged to have a desktop PC that I use for the majority of everything online. I understand this is not as common a circumstance as it used to be. But if you're using a laptop or PC, you should REALLY be writing somewhere else first. Even if it's just the native notepad program. Anything that allows you to save the file. You don't need something expensive like Scrivener. I personally use a text-based program called NoteTab, which is inexpensive, reliable, and has lots of nice little extras. Of course there's Word and OpenLibre and things like that. Even Google Docs if you're in a pinch (though I can't recommend it given that they're now starting their own AI-theft program).

I'm not as well versed in apps for phones and tablets. But even so, I beg you to find something to write on that isn't directly into AO3. The notes program? Email yourself? A physical notebook?

And there is a reason for this. Purely aside from the fact that the draft will only save your text for 30 days -- and was NEVER meant to be used as a word processor to begin with! -- you should always have a backup of your work somewhere, in the exact case of circumstances like this.

Many moons ago, I used a free site called Crosswinds to host my website. (There were a lot of these, like geocities, tripod, & so on.) One day, there was a server glitch and lots of my files were wiped from creation. I didn't keep copies of them anywhere else, and so they were just gone. I was able to recover some of it, but most of it was just. Gone. Forever.

These days, I edit my stuff on my PC first, and then upload it. I should also probably have another backup of some kind, because I have had catastrophic hard drive failures and lost everything. You think it won't happen to you. Then it does, and your stuff that you've labored on is just gone.

Plus, it's just good to be able to have the text in a location where you can easily read and edit; on top of that, you know that trick of putting it in another font so you can catch mistakes? That is exactly what happens when I get the fic into the preview page on AO3 and I'm able to see all those goddamn typos and missed italics tags and so on.

For the love of whatever you love, friends, you must keep your own backups. You will lose your data at some point. It's going to happen. Or a site will go down. Or something crashes. And it'll all be gone. You really can make sure that doesn't happen, and it'll take less time than you think.

But I will be over here begging on my arthritic, ruined knees for the rest of time: NEVER WRITE DIRECTLY INTO THE AO3 PAGE. EVER. DON'T FUCKIN DO IT.

#psa #public service announcement #ao3 #use backups #use some other writing program #use something else for god's sake #writing advice

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rescue-ram · 1 year

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3, 26, 42 and 50 for the fic writer meme!

3) What are some tropes or details that you think are characteristic of your work?

My worst habit is getting a really big idea for a fic, writing part of it, then losing steam and not being able to finish. I will come back to you WIPs, I swear!! I also tend towards very introspective narrators, for better or for worse, and whenever I edit I have to constantly ask myself what is the character DOING to make sure I'm not relying too heavily on dialogue. I've also noticed I tend to be annoyingly meticulous and have difficulty eliding details. If a character picks something up they WILL put it back down, I do draw little diagrams to make sure everything's spatial positions stay the same, and I will find myself writing an extra thousand words to explain how a character got to where they are rather than skipping to the good part... which definitely contributes to my difficulties finishing WIPs 😅 As far as pairings and character relationships generally, I'm a sucker for complicated and ambiguous relationships, and pairs who have overcome some kind of inequality to be together. I'm frequently a fetid phone poster so I often notice annoying little typos after publishing, which makes me gnash my teeth. As far as tropes, I like "slow burn build up to big cathartic moment", and "character wrestling with humanity/sense of self", and a lil bit of outsider POV. I also have a tendency to focus on the characters hands in descriptions, and there are DEFINITELY a few phrases I catch myself reusing when I reread my fics, I should probably go through and make a call out post for myself at some point with those ram-isms 😅

26) Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that had only dialogue?

I know this would only further my bad habit, but definitely dialogue only.

42) Have you ever received a comment that stood out to you for any reason?

Love and light to all commenters everywhere 🥰 But I think the comment that most stood out to me when I received it, was I gave Rescue Bots (my beloved) a chance because of a specific Tumblr user who hyped it up, and then they left a very nice comment on Discretion. I was too depressed to respond at the time, but I was very bemused they found my fic and happy they liked it!

50) Using my free space here to muse on something I've noticed, in reading older fics recently and comparing them to newer fics... There is a lot less homophobia in fics nowadays. I mean this in a neutral way. I think it generally says good things about our culture and LGBT acceptance, and also is probably part of the trend of stronger taboos on controversy in many parts of fandom. But in reading older fics, it wasn't that the characters are haters or anything but homophobia is just an embedded assumption that has to be wrestled with. A lot of pagespace is given to characters working through their own internalized homophobia, wrestling with the closet or coming out, and facing varying levels of rejection from the rest of the cast. Nowadays, it seems like most fics are written as "Everything is canon except these characters have always been gay/bi", or in AUs where things like DADT never existed or gay marriage has always been legal, so there a lot less on page conflict over the characters' sexualities. Yay for people now being able to treat broad acceptance as unremarkable and a given nowadays, is the plusside!

I really started thinking about this the other day after reading two fics. One was a West Wing fic from the year of our Lord 2000, where Toby was both broadly supportive of a relationship between Josh and Sam... and also homophobic. Like, he loved them both and supported their relationship and was the best man at their commitment ceremony, AND was repeatedly vocally grossed out by PDA between them and actively got in between them in public out of fear they'd accidentally out themselves. This behavior was both accepted by the characters and totally uncommented on by the narrative. It was a pretty good fic, but that characterization struck me as being very of its time. In contrast, I was then reading a MASH fic from like last year, and it had Potter say something like "Love is love" and I was just immediately jarred out of the fic. Not in the sense that I think Potter would necessarily be hateful or something- I think he's both compassionate enough and pragmatic enough to decide what two consenting soldiers of similar ranks do in private is none of his business- but like, he's a Presbyterian Regular Army Colonel who was born in 1890-something, "Love is love" does not scan as natural or inevitable for the character to me. It felt like either a missed opportunity for a little character work- maybe Hawkeye is shocked by his easy reaction and they exchange a few lines on how he came to acceptance- or a missed opportunity for drama. And if the author just didn't want to get into it- completely valid- then writing Potter out of the scene would've preserved the suspension of belief better IMO. Reading those fics close together got me thinking about that broader pattern, which again I just find interesting... and also left me a little curious if the extremely frustrating and unfortunate resurgence in atmospheric/cultural homophobia in many places means that older pattern is going to reemerge in the psychosphere of fandom. I think my own fics tend more towards the "background homophobia" side of the force because of my own experiences. And I guess that's my "deep fandom thought" of the week.

#thank you for the ask friend ❤️#mash #west wing

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amerie-wadia · 4 years

Text

balancing on breaking branches: part one

jj goes to the water when the world begins to spiral around him. always has.

a/n: this will likely be a two or three part series, will be mayward too. i’m not sure when the next part of will be out, or if i’ll end up making this longer. inspired by this clip and title taken from exile by taylor swift. trigger warning for mentions of child abuse and minor references to drugs.

JJ goes to the water when the world begins to spiral around him. Always has.

———————————————————————

The day his mom left was a completely ordinary day. JJ was ten, his hair had been long enough that it was starting to fall over his eyes and he would have to tuck it behind his ears when he watched cartoons. Big John had been home that week and had asked JJ’s mom and dad if he could take both of the boys camping that weekend. JJ had eaten leftover mac and cheese for lunch and had put on a sweatshirt when he left to go meet John B because it was November and the air pinched at his pale skin.

Usually when somebody left there was a fight. A reason. At least, that’s what JJ had always heard. But JJ’s mom had been happy when he left—maybe she hadn’t, maybe JJ had only thought she was happy. She ruffled her fingers through his hair but she didn’t hug him, didn’t kiss the top of his head.

Luke wouldn’t tell JJ where she went. Why she left.

Instead, he drove to the liquor store and when he came back home he ran right through the mailbox and he had his music really loud.

JJ hadn’t understood that night. He knew his dad was angry but he ate some pretzel sticks while he tossed his hacky sack up and down at the foot of his bed. He didn’t have any trouble falling asleep.

She was still gone when he woke up. Still gone when he got home from school. Still gone when he got back from his camping trip with John B and Big John.

JJ started to cry when his dad yelled. She’s gone, boy. She ain’t coming back. It was the first time Luke had ever hit him.

It hurt. Fucking badly.

But JJ was ten and Luke told him he could never, ever tell anybody. JJ knew his dad had been drinking, that he was sad too. JJ waited until his dad fell asleep and then he grabbed his bike from the backyard and peddled as fast as he could until his tires hit sand.

It was too dark to surf or to swim. JJ didn’t want to get in the water, not really. The salt would just hurt the cut on his arm where Luke had pushed him too hard against the door hinge.

JJ sat on the sand, crossed his legs and tucked them beneath his bum. There was nobody around to hear him cry. He wished—just a little, unassuming wish—up to the stars that his Mom would come home soon.

She doesn’t.

———————————————————————

The first time somebody calls DCS on Luke is in fifth grade.

JJ thinks it was his teacher, because he wasn’t careful and he wore a short sleeve t-shirt when he knew better. Luke sits him down at the dining room table and explains how they’re going to handle it. He helps JJ cleans up the dishes that have been piling up in the sink and he puts all the alcohol from the living room into the cabinet above the fridge. He puts JJ’s clothes in the washer so there will be something clean for him to wear when the social worker gets there.

“I love you, son,” he says, and JJ clings to the words. “I don’t want them taking you away from me. And you don’t want to be away from your daddy either, do you?”

JJ shakes his head because he really doesn’t want that. It had been two months since his dad had last hit him. Two days ago, when he did though, it hadn’t even been that bad. Luke had picked him up after it was all over and held him. He had told him everything was going to be fine.

And it would be fine, if JJ did exactly what Luke told him and they could get the social worker to leave them alone.

It’s a woman and she gets to their house at exactly five—the time they had been given. JJ had his clean clothes on and is combing his hair when the doorbell rings.

She follows Luke around the house, glancing around the rooms and biting down on her lips or nodding at stupid things like electrical outlets or the ceiling fans. She watches JJ as he trails behind them and he stays close to Luke because if not the lady might reach out and steal him away from his dad.

After the house tour, the women wants to take JJ on a walk. He freezes but Luke just gives him a light pat on the shoulder and tells him to go with her. He isn’t sure but his dad smiles and the woman smiles and he follows her out the back door.

They walk around his house and down his street until they’ve reached the main road, and then they turn around and walk back.

She asks him all sorts of questions. He tells her about school and John B and Pope and about surfing. She asks about his mom but he doesn’t want to talk about that at all. He refuses to answer so instead she asks about his dad. He knows how to answer her questions. He remembers what Luke told him to say if he wanted to stay at home.

Before they go back inside she gives him a little piece of paper with her name and her phone number and tells him that if he ever feels scared at home he should go someplace real quiet and give her a call. He puts the little paper in his pocket and tells her he will—even though he knows he will throw the paper away as soon as she leaves.

When the visit is over Luke gives JJ a bowl of ice cream and they watch a movie. Luke starts drinking about ten minutes into it but he doesn’t drink himself into a fit, just into exhaustion and he’s asleep by nine. JJ cleans up his bowl and throws the empty bottles into the recycling bin out back. He sneaks the rest of the potato chips into his room and stays up late scribbling images of surf boards and super heroes on his school books.

———————————————————————

JJ gets really good at talking to social workers and the next time he has a home visit—which is in seventh grade—his dad doesn’t even have to tell him what to say. JJ cleans the house and puts his clothes in the washer and puts all the alcohol in the cabinet above the fridge. He makes coffee and gives two large cups of it to Luke while he searches under his bed to find textbooks to put on the kitchen table and on his desk. He lets Luke borrow his deodorant.

Nobody ever takes him away. Luke stops giving him ice cream after every visit. He never, ever hits him those nights. JJ always feels relieved. Relieved his dad isn’t angry. Relieved he is still at home.

But the relief drowns out of his body within a few days typically. He’ll do something to set Luke off—wrong place, wrong time—and Luke will hit him. Usually on his chest, sometimes around his neck. But it’s always careful. For as drunk and sloppy as Luke will be, it’s always careful.

A third of the time, Luke will say he loves JJ the next day. But he never says he’s sorry.

It hurts more and more the older JJ gets and he isn’t sure why because he’s getting bigger and stronger and Luke is getting older and drunker. JJ thinks it might just be in his head.

His dad always, always hits him on the anniversary of his mother’s disappearance. It’s usually the worst of the whole year. JJ goes to the beach at night when it’s all over and he has the sand all too himself. He keeps his cuts away from the salt water, laying down on his back tentatively so the dunes don’t put too much pressure on his bruises. He still makes wishes—very quiet, very secret wishes—to the stars. He wishes for his mom to come home. It was never like this before she left.

———————————————————————

The night of the ship wreck is a whole different type of hurt. The type of hurt that Luke can’t achieve through punches alone. The kind of hurt that JJ didn’t understand when he was ten and thought his mom would be walking through the front door by the end of the week. The kind of hurt that he couldn’t hide inside of him in front of Pope and Kiara and all the people surrounding them in that stuffy white tent.

When Officer Shoupe tells them what happened all JJ can do is clench his fists and yell because he’s not sad yet. He’s only angry.

The sadness takes a few minutes—his mind can’t process it that quickly. When it hits though, it hits hard. And JJ can’t hold back his tears, especially when he sees Pope and Kiara have started to cry. Mr. and Mrs. Carrera cradled Kie in their arms and JJ’s gut hurts. Pope’s mom runs across the tent and pulls him against her chest. Heyward holds them both. Suddenly, JJ remembers how cold it is. How alone he is.

Heyward looks up, as if he knew exactly what JJ was thinking, and reaches out his arm. JJ knows Heyward thinks he’s a shitty friend for Pope, that he’s shitty. But he is so close to falling completely apart and the thought of being held is too much to turn down. Heyward pulls him into the hug but Pope anchors him in place—keeps him from crumbling into the dirt.

Pope’s tears on his shoulder are wet and it reminds JJ that John B had drowned. The water had surrounded his body and penetrated through his lungs until he had no air left to breath. JJ chokes on his breath but there’s no water in his mouth and he tells himself to breath.

Pope breaks away and JJ’s legs sway. He reaches for Kie because Pope needs her. Pope doesn’t need JJ the way JJ needs Pope.

Maybe Heyward notices, maybe he’s just being kind. He cups JJ’s chin and tells him that he’s alright. He wraps his arms around JJ and it doesn’t hurt.

JJ wonders if maybe Heyward will ask JJ if he wants to stay the night but instead he offers JJ a ride home. JJ accepts because Pope and Kiara won’t let go of each other and that hurts too. JJ isn’t sure why. Maybe he feels left out. Maybe it’s something else.

Heyward leads him to the car and helps him with his seatbelt when his fingers shake too much to do it himself.

Luke is passed out on the couch when JJ gets home, which is a good thing for some many reasons. He doesn’t know about the Phantom yet. He won’t hear JJ cry himself to sleep. JJ watches Heyward’s headlights disappear through his bedroom window and he contemplates going to the ocean. Thunder breaks out across the sky and a bolt of lightning illuminates his bedroom through his mangled blinds so he takes off his boots and sheds his clothes onto the floor. He really wishes he could go to the beach. He really wishes his mom was here.

———————————————————————

Luke finds out about the Phantom the next day.

It’s bad.

———————————————————————

Everything changes after John B dies. It goes from John B and JJ and Pope and Kie to Pope and Kie and to just JJ. They grieve and it puts a space between them. Or at least, it’s easier to blame it on the grief than it is to blame it on himself.

JJ doesn’t answer Pope’s texts. Kie doesn’t reach out but Pope tells JJ, in one of the many unanswered messages, that Kie is really struggling. He says she won’t get out of bed. It’s sad but it makes JJ angry because he can’t lay around even if he wanted to. He has to work. He has to spend as little time as possible at home because Luke hits him a lot now. He has to figure out how he’s going to pay his restitution money. His hearing is coming up soon. He doesn’t reach out either.

He smokes a lot more. At first it’s just weed, because that’s all JJ has. But he can’t afford to keep buying it and save for his restitution fund, so finds Barry and he starts selling to earn his keep. Cocaine doesn’t relax him the way weed does. He’s scared to try heroin, so he doesn’t. Not yet. But he needs something because his body aches and he misses John B and he really misses Pope and Kiara but he can’t work up the strength to text either of them back.

He doesn’t see them all summer. Pope still texts him, but it’s less and less.

———————————————————————

JJ doesn’t show up to the first day of school because there’s a big purple bruise right across his face and he doesn’t have the energy for school. His probation officer is going to be mad because part of his deal was to go to school.

He was working for the Thorntons every day after school and on Saturdays too. He lost his job at the country club after Midsummers but he doesn’t actually get paid, per se, by the Thorntons. He just has to work off his debts. He also has to do community service—an idea Mrs. Thornton had because there wasn’t really twenty-five thousand dollars worth of work for JJ to do at her office or around their house.

Without any extra time to earn his own money, he can’t afford to eat very much. Luke rarely buys groceries, usually too drunk to notice or runs out to McDonalds for dinner. He never offers to get food for JJ. He hasn’t told JJ he loves him since JJ sunk the Phantom. JJ’s stomach growls and occasional Mrs. Thornton offers him some lunch or a glass of lemonade. He misses having Kie finesse them free food. He misses his paychecks. He misses his friends.

Between working off his debts to Barry and his debts to the Thorntons, JJ barely has a moment in the day to himself. So when he does, it’s late at night and tucked away on the beach. Summer is slowing starting to turn to fall and JJ brings a hoodie to keep him warm from the ocean breeze. He doesn’t let himself make any wishes. He can’t do that to himself any more.

He twirls his zippo between his fingers. Lighting it. Clicking it off. Lighting it again. His initials are carved into the front and it reminds him of the day he and John B smoked for the first time. He pushes the memory aside before it lingers long enough to hurt. JJ has a little bit of weed left but he’s not going to see Barry again for three days and doesn’t want to smoke it all right now.

JJ shoves the zippo in his pocket right as his phone vibrates. It’s Pope.

JJ has stopped even looking at the messages. He turned the preview off on his lock screen so he wouldn’t be tempted to open them anymore. But this isn’t a text, this is a call. JJ really doesn’t want to answer but his finger slides across the green bubble and suddenly Pope’s voice fills his ear.

“JJ?”

He’s not sure why Pope asks. Who did he expect to answer?

“Yeah.”

“You weren’t at school.”

“I wasn’t.”

Talking to Pope used to be easy. It doesn’t feel easy any more. JJ doesn’t know what to say. He hasn’t had a real conversation in a very long time.

“Why?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

And it doesn’t. School is absolutely irrelevant right now. If JJ were in school, he wouldn’t have time to sell for Barry and work for the Thorntons.

“It matters to me.”

Pope does that sometimes. Says something too thoughtful to JJ. Casually, as if he doesn’t realize the impact it has on JJ. Pope’s voice never wavers when he says stuff like that, when he cares too much. JJ isn’t sure why the words make him feel defense—Pope’s his best friend, it shouldn’t be as weird as it is. JJ grabs a handful of sand and watches the shadows fall between his fingers.

“I was sick. It’s not a big deal.”

“Sick? JJ, I know you’re not sick.”

“I could be sick.”

“You’re not.”

JJ doesn’t know how Pope knows he’s not really sick.

“Where are you?” he asks suddenly.

“In bed,” JJ lies.

“No, you’re not.”

How does Pope always know anyway?

“I’m falling asleep.”

“Dude, I can hear the wind. Are you at the beach or something?”

In the time JJ tries to think up a good lie, Pope seems to connect the dots.

“I’m coming. Which beach are you at?”

“I’m not—”

“JJ,” Pope says, and something about the tone of his voice makes JJ’s shoulders fall.

“Rixton’s Cove.”

“Stay. I’ll be there in five.”

Pope hangs up before JJ can respond. But he stays. Partly because he’s too tired to stand up. And, because he really can’t face Pope sober, he rolls the rest of his weed into a joint and lights up. He’s only had a few hits when he hears footsteps.

“It’s so cold,” Pope whines as he takes a seat next to JJ, “Why the fuck are you here?”

JJ shrugs—he knows that Pope can connect the dots for himself.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I know,” JJ says, because he’s not brave enough to say I’ve missed you too.

“It’s been two months,” Pope adds, as if JJ doesn’t know. Maybe he didn’t realize how quickly the days went by sometimes. “I’ve been so worried.”

Pope worries too much. Especially about JJ. He shifts and takes another hit.

“Dude,” Pope says softly, too softly for JJ. “Are you okay?” Based on the wavering of Pope’s voice, JJ can tell that Pope knows that he’s far from okay.

“Never better.”

It so much easier to lie.

“Don’t do this, man.”

“Do what?”

“Push me away. I’m sick of it.”

There’s no bite to Pope’s voice, only gentleness, and that’s what sets JJ off.

“Shut up, Pope. Just shup up!”

“What?”

“If I wanted to talk to you, I would’ve fucking texted you back.”

It’s dark, but JJ can see the way Pope tenses at that. It feels really good though, to release, so he keeps going.

“This is all your fault, you know that?”

“What’s my fault?”

“I said shut up!” It’s harsh. JJ knows how harsh it is. “Fifty thousand dollars, man. That’s what I owe because of you!”

Pope doesn’t seem to care that much that JJ wants him to shut up, because he asks, “How is it fifty?”

“Restitutions and reparations, man. All because of you. How do you think I’m gonna pay them back? How do you think I’m paying Barry back without any fucking money? How do you think I could possibly go to school when I’m working from sunrise until sunset just so I don’t go to fucking juvie, Pope? Huh?”

Pope is silent. It’s the first time JJ wants a response and he doesn’t say a word.

“I’m gonna be doing this for years because of you! John B’s fucking dead in the ocean somewhere and you and Kie are off macking on each other while I can’t even afford to fucking eat anymore and by the time I’ve paid off my debts you’re going to be off at some fancy school and Kie’s gonna be doing whatever the fuck she’s gonna do and where do you think I’ll be, huh?”

“What do you mean you can’t afford to eat?”

JJ rolls his eyes because that’s not what he wanted Pope to focus on.

“Bro, talk to me.”

Bro.

JJ kicks at the sand and tries to take a breath so his lungs don’t fill with water. Pope reaches out but JJ pulls away because it’s dark and JJ forget that it was Pope sitting next to him.

“JJ?”

It’s too soft. Pope is always too gentle.

JJ starts to cry and he wishes he was still angry. Anger is so much easier than this.

“I’m so sorry,” Pope says, reaching out for JJ again. This time JJ doesn’t pull away. He’s too tired. Pope’s hand rests on his shoulder. It’s firm but not so tight that it will bruise.

———————————————————————

Pope drove JJ to McDonald’s because it was open and JJ got lightheaded when they stood up. JJ wants to argue because the offer makes him feel pathetic but he feels dizzy and his stomach growls so he gets into Pope’s car and watches as raindrops begin to shower across the windows. The motion of the windshield wipers calms him a bit. Pope doesn’t say much on the way there.

He gets a milkshake after he forces JJ to order more than just a burger and fries. JJ really wanted more than that but he didn’t want to push. All the tables are open since nobody else is awake but they sit in the corner where it’s far enough from the counter that the employees won’t hear them.

Which is funny because they don’t really talk. At least, not for a while.

“Kie and I aren’t together,” Pope says once JJ is done with the two hamburgers and is starting on his fries. Pope’s only had a few sips of his milkshake.

“Really?” JJ asks, his voice raspy from the crying and filled with half-chewed fries. Pope nods.

“After everything that happened, neither of us really wanted to dive into a relationship.”

JJ doesn’t know what to say. For some reason he feels a bit relieved. He doesn’t know why—even though he does, in fact, know exactly why.

He’s always known. He’s always tried to convince himself he was confused. But he’s always known.

“She asks about you.”

“Oh.”

“I know you two don’t talk anymore, I know we don’t talk anymore. But we still care about you.”

Pope is too forward most of the time. He cares so openly that JJ can’t always believe Pope is real.

“Is there anything you want me to tell her?” Pope asks when JJ doesn’t say anything. It’s weird, to not be the talkative one. Pope is good at it though.

“Don’t tell her about this,” he asks, motioning down to the food. He hopes that Pope knows he’s talking about JJ not being able to eat.

“Nothing else? Not even a hello?”

“Hello is fine.”

“Okay, JJ,” Pope sighs and takes a sip of his milkshake. JJ knows he’s being difficult, he knows Pope is more patient than anybody he’s ever met, but it still makes his chest tighten. “Whatever.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“Tell Kie I said hi.”

“Why don’t you tell her yourself? Why don’t you ever talk to us anymore?”

JJ isn’t ready for this conversation but he’s all out of fries and Pope’s eyes are stuck on him and there’s no way he can just bolt. Well, maybe he can. Not if he lets his own eyes meet Pope’s though.

“Is it your dad?”

“Don’t ask me that.”

“JJ, come on. You’re my best friend, you don’t have to hide this shit from me.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” And he didn’t. There was no way Pope knew what he was asking of JJ.

“Then tell me, JJ.”

And for a moment, JJ considers telling him. He really didn’t have much to lose.

“I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?” Pope asks, his voice softer again. JJ’s eyes fall to his hands because looking at Pope makes him want to cry and he’s not doing that again tonight.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

JJ made the mistake of meeting Pope’s eyes. Warm and open and fucking up the way JJ felt. His breath hitched and he knew why.

“I want to know why we don’t talk anymore.”

Straight forward. Maybe for once in his life JJ can be straight forward.

“Because,” he took a deep breath, trying to remember all the reasons why he shouldn’t say anything, “it’s hard to talk to you sometimes.”

“Why?”

JJ wished they were still on the beach in the dark. Wished for a lot of things.

“Because I like you.”

He couldn’t take it back. Not now. Couldn’t spin it if he wanted to.

Pope’s eyes widened and then his brows scrunched as if he didn’t quite understand. JJ didn’t want to elaborate.

“You like me?”

JJ shrugged and bit down on his lip because everything felt like too much.

“You mean—?”

“Yeah, like that.”

“Oh,” Pope expressed quietly, shocked. He didn’t sound mad but he didn’t sound particularly excited either. JJ wanted to bury himself in the sand.

“Look, thanks for the food, but I have to get home,” JJ started, sliding out of the booth to stand up.

“Wait. Don’t,” Pope protested, standing up himself but JJ was always taking steps away.

“I have to go.”

And he ran all the way to the beach.

———————————————————————

tagging some lovelies who seemed excited about this idea: @kikifromtheblock @ifyourelostyoucanlook @hmspogues @maybanktho @kiesargent

if you would like to be added to a mayward and/or kiarah taglist, feel free to let me know!

#obx #outer banks #mayward #jjpope #jj x pope #pope heyward #jj maybank #tw: child abuse #tw: drugs #my writing #so many typos because i write on my phone and never edit my own work #if it's rly bad I'll fix it but probably not

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wingedcat13 · 2 years

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Hiya! I just utterly blew through all four chapters of your superhero story and was curious what you're writing process was like? How long does it take you to write the various chapters?

Ahaha, good question my pal.

So, I generally write ‘from the hip’ - or just going in general, start to finish. Any time I take a break, I reread from the beginning of the portion I’m working on - for example, when I take a break on Villains Never Retire, I don’t reread Call Me Menace, just what I’ve already written so far - and edit any typos or weird phrasing as I go.

However, Synovus has largely been a writing exercise rather than a ‘serious’ endeavor. I definitely put effort into it, and I do take it seriously, but I’m approaching it with a lot more of a devil-may-care attitude. I didn’t even know who Synovus’ parents were until I started writing VNR 4.

(Y’all did want backstory)

Usually, I write in snippets. Dialogue comes most naturally to me, so I start there. Sometimes I won’t even know who the lines belong to, sometimes they’re the cornerstone for the whole character. If I’m writing in a world that exists, like when I’m working on FanFiction, I’ll pause whenever I need to look something up and figure out if X is available or if Y happened when I thought it did, usually accompanied by IRL research to shore up if the universe itself doesn’t provide an answer. (Not super in depth research, normally I just trawl Wikipedia)

When I’m working on my own works for worldbuilding, I go uh. Hm. I built the world for Tower’s Fall from the literal ground up. I know what regions are likely to grow what crops, the way the tectonic plates are laid, why the land is shaped the way that it is. Most of that will never come up, and if it doesn’t matter to you, I’m not going to tell you that kind of depth is critical - it’s a personal approach, because if I know down to my (in this case literal) bedrock, I won’t contradict myself. Things feel like they’re built on a steadier surface.

Of course, again, I didn’t start there. I started with a protagonist and a time span that shifted to become two protagonists and a different time span, and one country became three, and now I’m trying to figure out exactly how many Lords there would be to control X amount of land.

And banter. I started with a lot of banter. Heavier moments too - I have scenes where one or the other has a breakdown, and I may not ever use them. I may rewrite them entirely, have it be witnessed by a different character instead of described from the inside, or change the pieces. But I know the general vibe I wanted from it, and that gives me a chance to build.

Edit: realized I didn’t answer part of the question. It uh… it takes the time that it takes, unfortunately. I did Call Me Menace in a straight five hour shot, VNR has taken me a week or so for each piece. I don’t hold myself to a timeline or a word count goal - I just write. Sometimes that means a few thousand words. Sometimes it just means one, and that’s the word ‘FUCK’ written and deleted when I can’t figure out where to go from where the story’s at.

TL;dr - writing is like pottery. You can’t get a sculpture until you have a block of what looks vaguely like shit. Slap it down, then start shaping.

(And yes, I do actually type a lot of my writing into my phone. It’s a modern day notebook for me - something about the small size makes it easier to focus, to narrow the thoughts down into words? Again, a personal preference.)

#I hope this is what you’re looking for!#this also does not include the relentless spamming of friends and fellows with snippets and clips #to ask ‘is this good or am I stupid’#and sometimes the answer is ‘go to sleep’#ask box #I am not a model

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pemfrost · 3 years

Note

Can you please write a Spideynova with jealous Sam? :)

I’m not sure if this 100% counts, but I tried :D (I didn’t edit, sorry for any typos. I’ll fix ‘er up before I post to AO3)

Sam's head fell against his open biology book and for once he was thankful for how thick the damn thing was. It was almost midnight, and instead of relaxing -or god forbid, sleeping- he was cramming for a final. It was the unglamorous part of being a superhero while also being a high school student. Yea, getting out of a boring lecture to save lives was great and all, but it added up. And it added up quickly.

"Can we just call it a night?" His voice was muffled by the book, but he knew Peter would understand well enough.

Originally, they all studied as a team. Or, tried to. Sam was absolutely fine with how things shook out after Ava stormed out on one session. Now, they took turns rotating to study in smaller groups. It was easier for Sam to focus this way, with fewer distractions. And fewer arguments over the appropriate amount of non-school conversations.

Sam enjoyed studying with everyone; Ava made him actually study, Luke helped give him a new perspective, Danny helped him relax, and Peter gave him a reason to want to succeed. Every time Sam would wonder why he bothered with school, he thought about Peter. Sure, Sam could easily be successful with the Guardians, no stupid Biology final needed. No need to graduate. Just him, his helmet, and a universe at his fingertips.

And then there was Peter. Loathe as he was to admit it, there was something special about Peter, something Sam had yet to find the words to describe. Perhaps Danny could help him when they studied for their English final.

“Take the practice test. Pass it, and then we’ll call it a night.” Peter dropped a small pile of papers on Sam’s head.

Sam groaned and brushed the papers off him without lifting his head. “I'm serious, I’m done.”

“What can I do to convince you? You need to pass this final, unless you wanna retake it…”

There was a teasing lilt to Peter’s voice that made Sam roll his head to this side to see him. The dark circles under Peter’s eyes betrayed his own exhaustion, but his eyes sparked with mischief, like he was daring Sam to make some ridiculous request. Like taking a video game break. Or make a frozen pizza- he’d spied one in Peter’s freezer earlier.

Or, a kiss.

Yes, a kiss would convince him to take the practice test. A kiss. From Peter. A kiss. From Peter.

Peter rolled his eyes when Sam didn’t respond, and Sam was thankful his super power wasn’t reading mind- though, it would make it easier to actually tell Peter. Instead, he was laying on his book, looking to Peter like he was so disinterested he couldn’t even make a joke for the sake of breaking up the monotony of studying.

“I’m grabbing a drink,” Peter stood from the table without looking back to Sam.

“Ugh.” Sam pulled himself up and stretched his stiff back. It was utterly helpless. He was putting so much effort towards a future on Earth just because of Peter- and he had no way of knowing if a future on Earth would include Peter. At least, include him in a way that mattered.

Okay, he could do this. He could tell Peter. Ask Peter. Make all of this work mean something more than the promise of a possibility. And he was certain he wasn’t imagining the looks Peter gave him when he thought no one was looking.

Sam sighed and scooted over to sit at Peter’s seat. His notes were so much more organized, rivaling Ava’s in their detail. He kept his ears trained towards the kitchen, no way he was going to let Peter catch him using his notes, not after their earlier argument over Sam’s own poor note taking.

As he was rereading Peter’s meticulous notes on meiosis for the third time, Peter’s phone lit up next to him. Huh. Usually Peter took his phone everywhere, he wasn’t one to leave it lay around where anyone could, you know, glance at an incoming message.

Sam didn’t mean to look, but he was caught off guard, and his eyes jumped to the screen on reflex. And if they lingered on the screen as more messages came in? Well, no one ever accused him of having tact.

♡♡♡: Still up?

♡♡♡ :Thinking about you ;)

♡♡♡: Miss you!

The room tilted as the screen faded back to black. Sam was certain time was frozen, or sped up, or maybe it just didn’t exist at all and was just made up. Made up like the glances he swore Peter was giving him. Made up like stupid bubble of hope he’d let form around him.

“Sam!” Peter laughed as he entered the room again. “Do you want me to make you a copy? I told you my notes were so much better than yours.”

“Whatever.” Sam grit his teeth and refused to look at Peter as he began shoveling his own notes and book into his bag. What was the point of studying, anyway? He clearly had no chance of being on Peter’s romantic radar.

“Whoa. What’s the rush?”

“Nothing. I told you I was done.” Oh, he was so done. So, so, so, done.

“You’re ridiculous. If you fail the final-”

“Maybe I won’t bother taking it.” Sam was numb, his mind repeating the three messages over and over. Who was it? Who had Peter’s love? What did they have that Sam didn’t?

“The hell, Sam?” Peter raised his voice slightly, still mindful of Aunt May sleeping upstairs.

“Look,” Sam said without any emotion, “I can’t keep… doing this.” He gestured vaguely.

“Look, we don’t have to keep studying tonight. We can do a quick cram tomorrow before-”

“No, Peter.”

Peter stepped to block Sam’s retreat. “What happened? I thought-”

“Well, don’t think.” He glared up at Peter, but couldn’t put any real heat behind it. Peter didn’t do anything wrong, not really. The only person to blame was himself for falling for a teammate.

“What is with you all of a sudden?” Peter’s concern was written all over his face, and it was a punch in the gut. Peter was worried about him, as a friend.

Is that all they would be, then? Friends? But then, what sort of friend was dating someone and didn’t tell his friend? They were friends, right? Right?

“Sam?”

“What are we, Peter?”

Peter jerked back, “What?”

“Forget it.” Sam could feel heat rising up his neck and he refused to meet Peter’s eyes.

“No, what do you mean?”

“I-” Sam bit his tongue, it had betrayed him enough for one night.

“We’re… friend’s? Teammates at least.”

“Least. Because friends don’t keep secrets.” Sam tried to shoulder his way past Peter, but a strong hand on his shoulder held him back. “Let go.”

“So, what? Because I want you to study, we're not friends now?”

“No,” Sam ground out. “We’re not friends because you’re dating someone and didn’t think it was worth sharing with me. Like friends do.”

“I- What?” Peter stammered and the damn hand left his shoulder. Even so, Sam could still feel the warmth lingering where Peter touched. “I’m- I did!”

Sam stared. Peter stared back.

“I told you. When we were getting ice cream with MJ and Harry…”

Oh. Sam looked away, his cheeks warm. He remembered the day, a few weeks ago, remembered staring at Peter as he ate his cone, and nodding along without actually hearing- yea, Sam remembered.

“Sam? S-seriously?”

“Gah! Forget it, already.”

For once, Peter listened, letting him leave without any more questions or comments. What was there to say? Anything more and they would officially be in territory Sam was wholly uncomfortable with traversing. Anything more would carry the possibility of doing permanent damage to their friendship. As it stood, their conversation could be swept under the proverbial rug as a late night blip fueled by studying for too many hours without a break.

When he got back to his room, Sam fell against his closed door and focused on breathing. Peter was dating someone, and that someone was not Sam. Probably never would be. He was not okay with that.

Despite that, he pulled out his notes and gave them one another read before he passed out on the floor.

Thanks for reading!

#spideynova #jealousy #pem writes #ask request #hey I got my laptop out bc my thumb hurts from writing on my phone #and i can actually put a read more on this hahaha

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theodora3022 · 4 years

Text

How bnha boys would ask you out (Big three edition)

Request: Since you watched Season four, can I have some Mirio and Tamaki headcanons? Similar to your "how they ask you out" post before.

I assume you mean separately because I am not comfortable with writing poly.

Pairing: Mirio togata x reader, Tamaki Amajiki x reader

Notes: Reader is their underclassman, a student of 1A, met them during the work-study arc. Condition: the reader is single. Female reader I guess.

Warning: Just big Fluffs.

Mirio Togata

Before

Sunshine. That is what Mirio is, a pure package of warmth and enthusiasm. If you are shy like Tamaki, you would probably envy his outgoing spirits.

He notices you as soon as he first sets foot in your classroom. You sat there with a hand underneath your chin, looks up to your senpais with those shiny eyes. He seen you around the campus before, also seen your exceptional performance at the sports festival.

When they were introduced as the big three, he did not miss that bright light of admiration in your eyes. Congratulations, you successfully peaked Mirio’s interests. During his short speech, his eyes would circle around the classroom, resting on you for a few more seconds.

When he trained with you that afternoon, whether you are a long-ranged or melee combatant, Mirio would knock you down the first chance he got. Would not want you to hurt yourself recklessly, right? He also thinks how you try to counter him is absolutely adorable.

Nejire and Tamaki notices the extra attention Mirio is giving you. While Neijire would tease him and jokes about it, Tamaki just silently assess you with his intense glare. Mirio is happy that they both think of you as a hard-working kohai, and their approval is just icing on the cake.

After the beat-up training, Mirio approaches you causally and ask you to train together sometime. To make his intentions seems less suspicious, he also extends that invitation to Midoriya.

After a couple of training sessions, you start to warm up to him. You no longer seen him only as Togata Senpai, just Mirio the friendly upperclassman. But he is still not satisfied with the result.

His quirk is made for stalking. I do not accept counter arguments. You all seen how he scares Midoriya Izuku. Probably stalks you as a pastime, you wonder if you are losing your sanity since you always feel like someone is watching you.

During

After another intense afterschool training session, Mirio would ask you to get dinner with him in the city.

“You’re working so hard lately; you deserve a break! Why don’t we go get a bite in the city? My treat.”

You accept delightfully, did not think of it as a date. Just your upperclassman friend treating you with something tasty. You chatted with him about all sorts of things, such as your homework. It feels nothing more then hanging out with a pal.

It is when he tries to kiss you on your way back, you realize something is off.

If you accept, he will become eccentric. You thought the normal Mirio is energic enough, but this mode, good gracious.

Lifting you up by the knees with his strong arms, he will give you a bright smile that can make you blind. “Oh! My dearest (y/n)! Thank you, thank you, thank you! We’re going to be the cutest couple!”

If you flinch and distance yourself from him, that is another story.

“(y/n), not going to kiss your date goodnight?”

When you explain you see him nothing more then a friend, Mirio would laugh. It honestly creeps you out since you expect him to yell, or even show you a hint of anger. Then he would bid you goodnight as if nothing is wrong.

The next day you found an elaborate flame rose bouquet on you desk, without a single clue of who the sender is. Mina would start rambling about how sweet your secret admirer is, but you just felt shivers down your spine.

You texted him. “Can we talk?”

“Of course, anything for you.”

When you meet him in a nearby café few hours after, his usual enthusiastic attitude is still present. The sunshine boy sure knows how to hide any stormy clouds.

Mirio urges you to reconsider, sing you praises that made you blush like mad. You told him you would. “I just never thought of you in that way, but I guess there’s no harm in trying.”

Once the sunflower got you, he will spoil you, probably not with expensive gifts, but with all of his attention.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tamaki Amajiki

I relate to him on so many levels, you have no idea

Before

If his best friend is the sun, shines proudly with endless energy, Tamaki is the moon, shy and would hide behind clouds. (I love this analogy you cannot blame me)

Just like Mirio as soon as he saw you in 1A classroom you got his attention.

Nejire and Mirio would notice how his gaze linger on you more then others, and tease relentlessly until Tamaki is flustered mess.

He asks Mirio to go easy on you on the beat-up training, but Mirio said if you want to get strong, he should not.

It takes a while to get Tamaki even say hello to you, however his eyes will not be left you when you are in the same room as him.

Surprise, surpise, it’s Nejire who come asking for your number, when you ask her why she needs it, she just tilts her head and say: “Tamaki said he wants to train with you sometimes! Here’s his number for you.”

If you are aware of the surroundings you could find a red-cheeked ravenette hiding in the shadows. You wonder why you, out of all your classmates who all have just as much potential.

Tamaki likes to observe small details. How you wave at your friends, how you dash through the hallways as the bells rang, how your sight follow pretty butterflies, how the rice sticks on your chin at lunch time. He got it all down.

You need to text him first, no doubts here. “It’s kouhai (y/n). Hado Senpai said you want to train together? When are you free?”

He felt he has been run over by a train. Is this what having a crush is like? No wonder why people act so stupid while in love.

His reply would be short. Tamaki is not doing that to be rude, he is just at a loss of words. Even though you would never ignore him even if he made typos.

When you offer him a bottle of water after training, he would freeze. After ten seconds or so, he would snap back, take your gift, and mutter “thank you” before running away, leaving you there confused.

From then on you two would text on a regular basis. You ask him to help with your homework and training, he would ask you about how to deal with social anxiety (if you are outgoing like his best friend). You figured he is a lot more expressive through texts then in person, even though you still need to initiate conversions most of the time.

Tamaki starts to check his phone so often, even when he is at work with Fat Gum. The pro hero would also tease him (poor him, just endless teasing) about his “little girlfriend”. The older man laughs as Tamaki stutter how you two are only friends.

During

After he answers some of your questions concerning an assignment, Tamaki offers to buy you ice cream. You met him by the gate, in your casual clothes.

As you two are walking back licking your treats, you notice how his dark hair has fallen in front because of the afternoon breeze.

“Ah, your hair is getting in the way. Let me help you.” Your fingers brush his face lightly as you tug strands of raven hair behind his pointy ears. His blush confirms your suspicions. Rumors has been swirling around about you two being more then regular friends, since Tamaki never spends much time with anyone apart from his two best friends.

“(y/n) ...” He dips his head as he finishes the ice cream, screaming inside. What if you say no? How is he going to face you afterwards? What if you say YES by some insane fluke?

“Would you...consider d-doing this s-some other time? W-with me, I mean.” Tamaki instantly regretted it as soon as it comes out. He seen enough rom com to know this is not how you ask a girl out.

If you said “Yes, of course!”, Tamaki would panic. He was not expecting you to, he seen how the other boys in school gazes at you. “Can you pinch me, please?” The sharp pain confirms this is all real, not some wild dream. Very insecure, he would get jealous easily. If you have male friends, he will not interfere (you need your own space too). but if you are being hit on in front of him, Tamaki would like you to kiss him on the cheek and proudly proclaims that you are taken.

If you turn him down, Tamaki’s expression turns grim and he said he understand. Of course, who would love him when they got so many other better options?

Tamaki would not attempt to court you like Mirio. To him your happiness is his top priority, his personal feelings comes after. If you are happy, Tamaki is content. To him if you love someone, you need to ensure they are happy no matter what (such selfless love is true love). If you eventually come around, he would be over the moon. Tamaki would bury his face in your chest, saying “thank you” over and over again, and hug you like he would never let go.

The shy ravenette may be timid and emotionally vulnerable, but Tamaki is the kindest soul you will ever find. Treat him with lots of affections and he will give you triple in return.

These boys are just so lovable aren’t they? Honestly I won’t say no to either of them...

#bnha #bnha headcanons #bnha mirio togata #bnha tamaki amajiki #bnha imagines #bnha reader insert #mirio togata x reader #tamaki amajiki x reader

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wine4thewin · 2 years

Note

Any writing tips for a n00b?

Oh, that’s a loaded question! 😙

I’ve been writing for the better part of roughly 20 years, on and off. Writing takes time and practice and I can say that what I write this year is different from what I wrote the year before or even the year before that. Writing evolves the more you do it and no one wants to hear that LOL

Writing advice is tough, because many writers are different in their methods. Not all methods work for everyone. Fifteen years ago, I would start at page one without a single clue as to the ending…and guess what? In those cases, I never reached the end, even if I had a great starting chapter 😆 I have drawers full of things I wrote when I was young and never finished.

Some people are able to write in perfect order. Some people make an outline with 500 words for each chapter just to get started. My own preference is to envision a beginning, a crucial turning point in the middle, and where I expect the characters to end. Who the characters are and what quirks make them stand out. How will they change? What changes them, for better or worse? I write scenes out of order, scenes I’m absolutely excited about or passionate about. Eventually, the more I write, the more I ‘see’ happening. I started connecting the scenes. I generally create an actual chapter outline once I’m 5,000-10,000 words deep into a story 😅 the outline always moves…it is never set in stone. Ever.

Generic tips with my obnoxious long-winded additions below the cut:

*Don’t get hung up on word count. It’s unnecessary stress. Words should be organic, not forced.

*Don’t write a chapter without a point. Something MUST happen in each chapter. There must be something to push the story forward.

*Write whatever comes to mind. Don’t worry about order, cut and paste exists for a reason! I never write in order.

*Write down ideas as they come to you! Anytime, anywhere. Use your phone notepad app. Revisit them later when you have time.

*Think about what you like about your favorite author’s style. This is helpful for new writers as they find their “voice”.

*This is more advanced, but think about how your characters sound! Don’t have two characters say things the exact same way. Like, maybe there’s a character who loves to say ‘bingo’ when they’re excited or a character who never says much at all. Maybe one character swears often, but another never does. You want people to hear characters and know the difference between them. I’ve read traditionally published books that I tossed because I couldn’t tell a single difference between any of the characters aside from their names. In fact, I don’t read as much as I used to, because I became such a fucking stooge when editing my own original fiction & fanfics. While typos and grammar don’t bother me, it’s hard for me to leave plot editor mode 🤣

*If you want to be aggressive, give yourself deadlines. Make yourself write every day, even if it’s just 200 words.

*If you don’t love something anymore, put it away. Don’t force yourself. Inspiration may come back. It might not. Move on and use new inspiration on a new project! I have so many original stories that are chilling for a rainy day when I want to pick them back up again.

*Most importantly, write what YOU want to read, not what you think others want. I once was penpals with a writer I respected and she confided she would not be writing anymore for the series that caught my attention, because, as she said “it wasn’t mainstream enough to catch traditional publishers & traditional readers eyes”. I found that to be saddening, because I knew she loved the dark fantasy world she created, but felt writing solely for other people would earn her better money which is true, but would she love writing as much? Sometimes, the answer is no.

Good luck in your journey writing! Just sit down and write! You might not get anywhere at first, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Obviously, different things may work for you than for me. Everyone is creative in different ways! 🥰

#asks #writing #writing tips #evilpeaches ao3 random writing tips

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otterskin · 3 years

Text

I didn't like the LOKI show, no matter how hard I try, and it's messing with me.

My mother died at the end of December. A lot of other bad things happened as well, like the severe brain injury of my father.

I didn't cry. There was so much to do. I did it. And even then, when there was nothing left to do, I didn't cry.

I found distractions.

Today I went to see the Green Knight after a tough week at a new job that had me leave my father in another province even though he still needs help. I was trying to get back to the life I'd dropped.

I loved the Green Knight. The Arthurian Legends are as dear to me as Norse Mythology, and my copy of them had the Green Knight on the cover. The film was truly excellent, evoking the feel of the story whole still doing something unique and very A24. I cried at one point, like I did when watching the first THOR, because of how much it meant to see something I'd loved since the very first years of my existence finally make it to the big screen and be...right. It's own thing, it's own artistic product, but right.

Then I opened a tab in a browser and saw I had some messages on a website I comment on. It was just some minor criticism of the LOKI show I'd posted beneath an article and how it handled certain things.

I was downvoted. Berated. Hated. Lumped in the ad hominem twitter users who attacked the director and writer (I'd never, ever!) Told I was biphobic because I wanted to see more of a queer lens (I even addressed how difficult it is for bi people in queer cinema and society in general in my criticisms of the romance, but even that wasn't good enough - just disliking it was 'bad'.) I was told I just wanted my 'fanfic' made (I never made any laundrylist of plot points I demanded). I was accused of being a begrudged shipper (ha! If anything I'm an anti-shipper). I was told that I should love the show, it was awesome, and I was bad for not thinking so.

And I started to cry.

I don't cry. Only at movies. Not at real life. I didn't cry at my grandparents's funerals, I didn't cry when I was left with the body of my mother in the hospital room and my brother cried on my shoulder. I didn't cry when working through my dad's severe new disabilities as I realized how much he had lost. I didn't cry while realizing how messy my parents' finances were. I didn't cry when my mother's friends called me in the middle of the night and cried into the phone. I didn't cry when saying goodbye to my dog and going back to a rundown apartment with a terrible smell so I could go to work in a dark room for hours at a time.

But now I'm crying and writing this.

I've realized why. During everything, I looked forward to the LOKI show. The first THOR is deeply nostalgic to me and I watched it often in my first year of Uni when I was away from home. It tied in thematically to what I was going for. Thor 2 came out before I went on exchange, and while I disliked it overall, talking about it was a welcome distraction from my anxieties. Thor 3 was nerve-wracking, but it also came out during my first major job which I was struggling with, and I saw it so many times in theatres...it was such a huge comfort.

Looking forward to LOKI wasn't just a distraction. It was like a promise. A promise that I'd make it till then and see it and maybe it'd give me some comfort.

That's on me. That's a personal thing. It's an unreasonable expectation.

But I needed it, all the same.

Then it came out.

I tried. I really tried to like it, to forgive it, but the problems are things I've criticized for too long in so many other things. I always try to be respectful about, I never go ad hominem and attack the creators, only critique their work and I always mentioned what I liked but...

I didn't like it.

I have no urge to rewatch it.

And the Green Knight...the Green Knight was everything I wanted and needed it to be. It didn't let me down, though I've been anticipating it about as long as the LOKI show. They're very different, obviously, but in my heart they share the same compartment.

And after a very trying day...I realized how badly I needed to rewatch a Loki show I liked. But I can't even enjoy THOR or Thor:Ragnarok anymore. It's like everything I did like has been poisoned.

This thing that got me through immense pain is causing me pain. I don't want to be toxic. I'm sure it's in me. I try so hard not to wallow in disappointment, but to not even be allowed to talk about my problems without being lumped in with abusive online monsters...

I can't do it. I just can't.

This is supposed to be an escape, not another trial.

I needed the LOKI show to be good, so I could come out of the dark into the light, or at least walk through the night with a lantern ahead of me. And instead it was just more darkness, and it's not even entirely its own fault. It's the online discourse. It's the uncalled for harassment of Herron and Waldron. It's the taunting jabs at people who didn't have a good time as if we're all jerks. It's having people roll their eyes when you point out things that made you uncomfortable in the story, it's feeling slightly gaslit when you find something gross that the story intended to be gross and then being told it's not gross, actually.

I'm sorry. I don't want to cause pain. I just...

I needed it to be good. And unlike Thor 3, which delivered me respite in a dark time...it let me down. Worse, it's hurt me.

I said I don't cry, only at the movies. Something about them lets me cry in a way nothing else does. I can't cry at a funeral, but I can cry in a movie theatre at the drop of a hat. It's a release valve, a way for me to process things.

I think I was waiting for LOKI to give me permission to cry. To give me something that could release this pain in me. And instead, it just gave me more.

I never should have given it that power. I didn't want to. But I had to, to get through this.

I'm putting away the few THOR pieces of tat I have. I feel foolish. I always knew it was a capitalist piece of art, chucked from creator to creator with no creative shepherd, which in itself was stressful.

The fandom is no sanctuary for me either, since I'm primarily interested in the family dynamics and I'm sick of 'Odin is an ABUSIVE MONSTER' stories or even unrelated fics and posts just dropping in hate for him that's not at all canon but seems to be very popular to the point where people think it is. Especially since I often read these stories when I need to think of home and my father. Or, most pleasantly of all, when I get called an abuser or abuser-enabler because I say I like Odin as a character. I also can't really bear to deal with anything to do with Sylvie, whom I had high hopes for as someone who wants more female tricksters, but instead I got this...this Mary Sue that's very hard to criticize without being yelled at. I swear I'm coming at her writing as a feminist and I don't hate anyone, I don't, I just...sigh. She's just personally frustrating to me and not being able to discuss it without being called names sucks.

Not to mention I'm asexual, and I always struggle with romance in media being pushed as the 'ultimate relationship more important than any other'. Part of the reason I liked THOR so much was that romance was not the main feature of THOR and definitely not THOR 3 (while my disliked Dark World was all about it, and so is LOKI). And when I criticize the romance, I get called a prude (guilty, I guess), a troll, or, my favourite, just 'a hater'.

I don't want to hate. Who wants that poison in their veins? I'm here because the Thor series HELPED me because I LOVED it. And now I look at the things I used to love and I...don't, anymore.

So much is asked of me right now. I can't willingly invite this painful thing to sit on my chest as well, especially since the world is already shoving it into my face without my doing anything, in ads, in news, in everything.

I suppose that's why I've leaned even more into Odin lately. He was untouched by the LOKI series (though not the Simpson special, which worries me). He's a trickster, he's queer, he's nuanced, he's 'misunderstood' (that old cliche, but he's misunderstood and misrepresented by the people always yelling about how this or that character is misunderstood, which amuses me, except when it gets to me), and he's in many ways free to make my own.

I still have some stuff I'm going to publish that's practically finished. Finnesang has a lot more written for it but needs some major sit-down time for re-writes and edits. Lokabrenna is practically done, just needs tweaks and Beta. I'll be here a little longer.

But I think I'm going to have to step back for now and put my passions into other things.

I will be back. After all, after Thor 2 came Thor 3. Maybe Love and Thunder will right the ship and Thor can still be awesome, and maybe eventually a creative I love will come to work on the franchise. Really, that's the key for me - I loved Branagh before THOR, and loved Waititi before Thor, and disliked Waldron's work (though I gave him every benefit of the doubt and hoped and prayed to be wrong - sadly, it was what I expected.)

But...if LOKI season 2 is more of this, more romantic tropes I hate and Loki being an afterthought in his own show and his family being devalued for new characters...I can't do it. I can't watch something I used to love just throw that all away for something I dislike.

My tears are finally drying. I wrote a lot of this while the screen was blurry, so I hope there's no grammar or typo too embarrasing. I'm not sure I have the strength to re-read it. Sorry for the rant. It helped me feel better.

Thank you all. I hope I feel differently someday.

#loki show #loki 2021 #meta #loki thoughts #personal #update

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skarsgard-daydreams · 4 years

Text

Marie’s Writing Workshop

Part One: Just Keep Writing

We’re going to call this little series Marie’s Writing Workshop, not because I have all the answers, but because I want to collect a bunch of writers in one place so we can talk about what to do when writing isn’t easy. Everyone is invited to comment with their own tips, tricks, struggles, or questions, and my hope is that another writer (maybe me, or maybe someone else) will be able to offer some help and support if needed, or even just say, “Me too.” If you’ve ever been in a workshop before, you know that having a community of writers around you who are experiencing the same struggles helps immensely with the isolation and self-doubt that go hand in hand with our hobby. If you’ve never been in a workshop before, well, you’re welcome to join the conversation.

The first thing I want to talk about is something that is useful whether you’re knee-deep in a multi-chaptered story or you just don’t know how to get started. There comes a moment in every writer’s life when they ask: how do I get the pen flowing? Or how do I get the pen flowing again? You might feel like you’re uninspired or have the dreaded ailment that plagues all writers at some point: writer’s block. It’s something that happens to writers all the time, even the professionals. A lot of ink has been spilled on how to combat writer’s block. At the end of the day, I think the advice boils down to this: write through it.

But how the hell do you write through it? Here are some practical tips. Take what works for you, leave the rest, and share your own if you want.

1. Give yourself permission to write complete and utter shit.

Embrace the fact that whatever you’re about to type into your word processor or scribble on your notebook is going to be terrible. It’s going to be cliché, it’s going to have poor grammar, it’s going to have bad characterization. It’s going to have plot holes and awful sex and purple prose and you’re going to use the words “just” and “seemed” 800 times in ten pages. And that’s fine, because the first step is simply to bang it out. Ernest Hemingway famously said, “The first draft of anything is shit.” Every other writer on the planet who is honest has said a variation on the theme. So, hurl the words onto the page like you’re flinging cooked spaghetti at the wall. When you reach the end of the story, it might look like a dumpster fire. That’s fine. Because reaching the end of the story isn’t the end of writing.

2. Stop editing your work as you write.

This tip goes hand in hand with the first one, really, because part of giving yourself permission to write something horrible is that you shouldn’t try to make it better as you’re working on a first draft. But I think a lot of people, myself included, have the tendency to reread the last few sentences and make a few changes here or there and eventually find ourselves staring at the same page three hours later with only two paragraphs written. I find that I can get away with this at times. However, when I’m not feeling inspired, my inner editor can derail the whole process and prevent me from getting anything done at all. If you see a typo as you’re banging out that first draft, ignore it. If you can’t remember the word for something, or haven’t named something, put in a placeholder. I do this by using brackets. For example, once I was writing a fantasy story and I forgot the word “sheath,” so I literally wrote [sword holder thingy] and kept going. Do this with anything that you’re uncertain about as a marker for yourself. Future you can correct it in revision.

3. First draft does not equal final draft.

You probably could have guessed this based on my last two tips, but I feel it’s necessary to reiterate. Writing is revision. Yes, there are good days when angels sing as your first draft magically comes together, and you can get away with publishing that baby right away. But every novelist, every short story writer, every screenwriter, every playwright, and every poet will tell you that revision is where the real work gets done. And it’s a vital part of the process if you’re allowing yourself to write shitty first drafts. I like to think of it this way. Writing is like cooking a meal. The first draft is the part where you take all of the ingredients out of the fridge and throw them onto the counter. But revision is the part where you refine those ingredients, taking a whole onion and dicing it into bite-sized pieces, then sautéing it in a pan. It’s the part where you start to combine ingredients and let them meld together. Sometimes you sample a taste of the dish while it’s being cooked and determine it needs a little more salt or a little more time in the oven. Or sometimes you call over your roommate to take a peek in the oven and tell you if they think it’s done yet. So, take the time to revise, going through as many revisions as you feel are necessary for your story to become “cooked.”

4. Give the muse a time and place to meet you.

We all know the rush of getting struck with inspiration. Something clicks in your head and you start chasing a thread and suddenly you’ve written more in a day than you did last week. At other times, it feels like the muse is nowhere to be found. I often feel like I need that flash of inspiration to get my pen rolling, but the truth is that most authors write even when they’re uninspired. One of my favorite writing teachers taught me that showing up to do the work is more important than feeling inspired. For her, that meant sitting down at her desk at the same time every day with a notebook and pen in hand and setting a timer for something like an hour or 90 minutes. That was her writing time, and she could either sit there and stare blankly at the notebook or attempt to write, but she could not get up. She often found that, even though she would begin the session uninspired, an idea would eventually come. One of my shortcomings as a writer is that I don’t keep a schedule like this most of the time. But the times when I am most prolific are the times when I have the house to myself and I go sit in my little corner with a cup of coffee and force myself to focus on nothing but my writing. The muse might take her time and wait to show up until the second or third page, but she usually does show up to these appointments.

5. Shake things up.

This last tip is really a collection of a few more ideas that aren’t big enough for their own paragraph. If you’ve been working on a piece for a while and you’re losing steam, it’s okay to put that on the shelf and work on something else. Sometimes the change of pace will help you return to the previous piece with fresh eyes. In the same vein, I have found that I gravitate toward different mediums for different purposes. For example, I write most of my first drafts of long pieces by hand, in pen. This forces me to reduce the amount of editing I do since it’s limited by the space on the page and what I have already written. I do my revision while I’m transcribing it into a Word document, and often revise several times over again. But I have also found that I like to write drabbles, like the majority of “Sound and Color,” on my cell phone. If I get stuck on one medium, sometimes I will try switching to another to see if the ideas flow better. I don’t know why it works, but it works. Finally, there is a tool that I found in the days of trying to complete National Novel Writing Month that I like to use when I need to break through the wall of over-thinking about every word I put on the page: an app that deletes your progress if you stop writing. I wouldn’t write a story that I cared about within one of these apps, but I have used it as an exercise when I can’t seem to write more than two words at a time. There is an old, clunky app called Write or Die that makes the screen turn red and blares an alarm when you stop writing. If you turn on Kamikaze mode, it will delete one word at a time. There is also a modern, minimalist app that operates on the same principal, except that it will delete everything you’ve written if you stop. That one is The Most Dangerous Writing App. Both are great tools to keep in your writing toolbox.

Now it’s your turn:

What works for you when you’re stuck in your writing? What doesn’t?

What’s your biggest hurdle right now? What’s your next step to try to overcome it?

What questions do you have for me or other writers?

@hausofobsession @stevesharrlngtons @scxrsgxrd @dreamtherapy @grandpa-sweaters @amandalynngraves @dragsraksllib @loomiz

#writing #fan fiction #marie's writing workshop #english major rants

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thewritershelpers · 4 years

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Improving Your Writing when English Isn’t Your First Language (mega-ask)

As you can see above, we've gotten more than one question about writing, improving your writing, and even publishing in English when it's not your native language. First off: that's awesome. To anyone writing or even consuming in a language that's not your first, kudos to you.

You can google any variation of this question and get different articles with a ton of the same advice, and some with conflicting advice. Not only have I compiled the most commonly repeated information, but I've also reached out to people on our Discord server and others for their personal experiences.

I'll start off by listing concise versions of the advice and then expound on them further on in the article. Remember that we are not experts on your writing and that everyone learns in different ways and at different paces. These are in no particular order.

-be patient

-practice

-get feedback from native sources

-don't undermine yourself to your audience

-Grammarly

-research

-don't get discouraged

Be patient

That's first because, well, duh. Patience is so important for both yourself and your writing. Writing is hard enough of a passion without the added difficulty of doing it in a language that doesn't come naturally. In the world of literature, writing/publishing in your non-native language isn't just a matter of translating words. It requires translating of ideas, concepts, and even cultural norms, which is why just slapping it into Google translate won't work.

Part of the reason for the advice of having patience, too, is that writing in your native language needs to take time. It doesn't really matter how fast you can whip out 20 pages of a first draft--it'll still be a simple first draft. Writing is a craft that requires not just love and passion but time. So what if you need a little bit of extra time--or a lot of extra time--because you're accomplishing a feat most don't even think about attempting?

Next is to practice.

That goes hand in hand with what I said about being patient. Again, writing in and of itself is all about practice and doing it daily (not that I'm an expert on getting that done, but you know). But when it comes to practice another language, there are different ways you can do that. You can reach out to native speakers (for English, there are going to be so many people willing to help, even just in our community! you just need to ask) and practice having conversations or ask them to look over your work. Practice by turning on your favorite movie or TV show in English with subtitles in your native language. Watch videos on YouTube, find a Spotify playlist/podcast, in your target language. There's also plenty of people who have done what you're trying to do who have shared their experiences and what helped them on those same platforms.

Get feedback from native speakers

This is a bit of an expansion on what I mentioned in the previous paragraph. In my experience, and from what others have shared, writing in a non-native language can be pretty clinical. Writing with figurative language or in metaphors won't be as easy or come as naturally as it does in your own language. Things like idioms and even pop cultures reference aren't always going to translate even if you have the exact words. That's where native speakers come into play. If they're willing to look over your work, whether as a friend or in an editorial position, they can give you advice about whether the wording in one spot sounds clunky or if a phrase doesn't make sense or if there're synonyms for what you already used to help convey your message even stronger.

Don't undermine yourself

This is something that I personally am saying. It's not mentioned on any of the linked sites, and no one I talked to said it. But as someone who is a native English speaker (and even has a degree in it) I think this is super important. This point goes towards native English speakers/writers, too. Don't undersell yourself and undermine your work to the audience before they have even picked it up. Disclaimers are different, and it all comes down to the words you use and how you use them. Let your readers know, whether it's people on AO3 or a literary agent, that English isn't your first language. Let them know concisely that they may find some basic errors--but stop there. Don't grovel. You have nothing to apologize for, especially once you've given that warning (those is it really a warning? what's so dangerous or scary about a few mistakes?). You're writing is not going to be any less of an accomplishment for a few grammatical errors, or mistranslated phrases, or even typos. I've seen so many mistakes in published works that it's kind of ridiculous. But if you put something out there for someone to read and in the same breath say "I don't know that this is worth reading" I'm going to need extra convincing to pick it up. *kicks soapbox away*

Grammarly

*NOT sponsored*

Grammarly is a wonderful tool that you can use, for FREE. It not only (with the free version) helps correct spelling and grammar, but can also help point out the tone you're writing with. For example, right now, Grammarly is telling me that this writing sounds mostly informative--which it's meant to be--and a little appreciative and friendly. When sending emails I've had it tell me that it sounds formal (which I was going for), and I've also had it not say anything because the text was a different kind of writing (like when I'm proof-reading something being posting it on AO3...). I honestly don't know what else it helps with once you've paid because I've been happily using the free version for about 3 years now.

Research

Don't be afraid to pick up a book, or head to the library, or pull up Google. Research is paramount to writing anyway, let alone once you're doing it in another language. Your research options are limitless and can include your mutuals on social media as well as those dictionaries that translate from one language into another. Research can also include (in my humble opinion) binge-watching/reading your favorite things...in English. In four years of university, one of the most frequently said things was to improve your writing 1) write every day and 2) read every day. You're never going to learn from worrying or overthinking, and you're also never going to learn from just doing DuoLingo (that's more conversational than literary anyway).

Something a member of Discord specifically said in relation to research was to look at morphology, at the roots of words (and root words). Morphology is, in linguistics, looking at how words are formed. For example, let's look at "biology". There are parts to this word that each has a different meaning, that formed together created a new/elevated meaning. "ology" means the study of something, and bio means life. So biology is, simply, the study of life. Once you've got those basics of things like "ology" under your belt it'll become easier to not just translate words but the concepts (if this works with your learning style).

Last but not least, don't get discouraged.

Writers of all kinds get discouraged when writing in their native language. Even those of us who speak English as our first language make mistakes worth discouragement (you will never know how many typos were corrected by Grammarly as I wrote this all out the first time). English is not an easy language. It's not the hardest, but it's far from easy (learning another language isn't easy regardless of what languages are involved). This is a post from someone who is a non-native English speaker but you would never know unless they told us.

While researching for this, I found some articles/blog posts that said mostly the same thing, and are where I got some of the information

This one is from a native English speaker giving advice

This one is for writing for non-native English readers, but still has good advice

And finally this one is a blog post (I think) from someone who is a non-native English speaker!

In specific response to some of the asks:

English, like any other language, changes. It's a very dynamic language, actually, and from region to region, there will not only be different accents but different frames of reference. 1950 isn't so far back in time for the English to be drastically different from what is spoken today, but I'm in the USA and you're asking about Oxford. English in England has very different nuances, even more so than you would get between California and Texas and New York. This is a link to the Oxford English Dictionary list of words that became more common in the 50s. However, this is a generalized list, not specific to any English-speaking country let alone region or city. If you're wanting to look at how to convey the accent of people from/in Oxford, there are videos on YouTube of people speaking in different accents so that you can have an idea, a comparison, at least in your own mind. With the 50s it's going to be more just thinking really of what words and lifestyles and things weren't around yet; cell phones didn't exist yet. Here's another link to some stock images of Oxford in the 50s. Remember, this time was very close to WWII so there'll be lingering effects of that, especially in England.

About fight scenes and curses, there's a ton of resources on that. If you just search "fight" on our page, you'll get a ton of posts answering that question. Also, here's a link to a superb and excellent source on writing fight scenes. When it comes to curses...just watch Rage Quit on YouTube, or spend a while on TikTok. If you want to dive right in just Google "English curses" and there'll be YouTube videos, entries on Urban Dictionary, you name it.

When it comes to publishing, once you've gotten your manuscript is a perfect time to have a native-speaking friend look it over. Whether editing is their thing or not, they'll be able to help with the things that are really obvious. I don't have any experience publishing in a different language, though, so there might be other resources along the different stages to help you. Some general publishing advice I've gotten: when wanting to publish fiction, literature, start small. Start with short stories in literary journals, online and in print. You really can't make much headway with large publishing houses without a literary agent and it'll be easier to attract one if you have evidence that you can write, and write well enough people want to read it. When it comes to poetry, just start submitting. Get familiar with the process, and educate yourself on things like simultaneous submissions and a good rejection. Publishing is an ever-changing game that isn't cut and dry in any language or country. We can't tell you what's best, but my advice is to go with your gut and try your best. Don't be afraid to try again, too.

Everyone overthinks their writing. Or at least, everyone I know who writes does. Honestly, in my opinion, if you're not overthinking at least a little bit, you're not worried enough. You will never be able to fully know whether you've explained or described enough. A good chunk of the experience is up to the readers, so you have to leave them some wiggle room for imagination. But that doesn't mean you have to cheapen your story or short-change your characters. You mention specifically that you're POC, which I'm gonna guess also means that your characters will be POC. It's never too much to specify the race/ethnicity of your characters, even in a fantasy work. How you go about writing those descriptions might need to change but it's kind of like chocolate chips, in my mind: you decide those things with your soul.

So, there you have it. A ridiculously long way to say: you're awesome, you do you, practice, love yourself and your writing, and don't be afraid to put yourself out there (in any way).

(images read:

Anonymous said: Im writing a book based in Oxford in 1950s. how was the language different from now. I am not from an English speaking country at all. Never been outside my country either. And Im going to write a book based in England in English

Anonymous said: Hi there, I’m a writer for almost 3 years now but since English isn’t my first language I get discouraged easily if things I write come off strange to myself. Do you maybe have any advice for me, on how to motivate myself and not comparing myself with native English speakers? Thank you in advance!

Anonymous said: Hello! I starting to work on this shortfic but it’s been really hard. It’s like I’m trying to building a house alone and with my bare hands. Even though I’m already used to write in mother tongue. Any advice for non-english speaker trying to write their first story in English?

Yaelburstine said: Hi. Do you have any tips about how to write a good fight scene and curses that people speak English get cus’ it’s not my first language

gyger said: I am not a native english speaker, but most of the books I read are in english and I generally prefer writing in english as well. However, I am worried about making mistakes that I can’t recognize myself. I have no idea how good my english is to a native english speaker, plus some things are easier to write in my native tongue (such as dialogue). I’m also worried about publishing, since that definitely would be easier in my country than abroad. How do I decide what language to choose?

Anonymous said: As a POC writer and English as their second language, I overthink all the writing I do. I feel like I don’t describe my ideas thoroughly or my character descriptions are vague or not good enough. I’m currently working on a YA novel but I plan on writing a YA fantasy novel but I feel like my lack of vocabulary and grammar structure makes me give up on finishing my book. Is this normal for native English speaking authors or is this considered a language barrier thing? Thanks! Love your blog!

Thank you for your questions, and for your patience as we do our best to answer them.

-S

#TWH Respond #ESL #writing in a second language #mega ask #improving English #resources

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