#so maybe i just got exposed to a new chemical or something? idk

[graveyardmouth]

scared i have bedbugs or some shit becayuse i have a bunch of these fucking bumps on my forearms and some on my hands and a lot of places i cant see are really itchy and i havent seen any in my room but my place has had some ant problems lately. hell world

[wvttvk]

are u up? — Jeff Wittek

a/n: just a random horny thing I wrote last night, idk lol. smut&language warning. lmk what ya think. 2.1k words. (( are u up? pt2 ))

Fuck.

Your eyes shot open, meeting only the darkness of the bedroom. You were definitely awake now. You sat up in the love sac, rubbing your eyes as they adjusted to the darkness of the room. You immediately noticed the layer of sweat coating your body. You felt uncomfortably flustered, a feeling you were familiar with. As you fought to get out of the blanket you had become entangled in, you climbed out from the giant bean bag you’d fallen asleep in.

Through a crack in the curtains you could just barely see the moonlight casting the fainted sliver of light into the bedroom. It was Natalie’s room, you remembered; memories of a long night flooding your brain. It had turned from a day of shooting for the vlog to a night of drinking at David’s house. The group was exhausted and therefore were drinking like monsters, a drunken mosh pit of hormonal friends grinding on each other. It was probably one of your favorite nights.

Through the darkness you saw Natalie and Corinna in the bed, their bodies forming a V, their legs intertwined to a point. You smiled from the cuteness but also in relief that you hadn’t gotten extremely horny in bed while next to your friends. You stood from the floor, and grabbed a pair of socks from the drawer next to you. You needed to get out of the room, you needed water and maybe some fresh air. You needed a release.

Adorned in a big t-shirt and cheeky underwear, you slid out the room, your phone in hand. Once out of the room you crept into the kitchen, seeing that none of the group were sleeping out on the main couch. You thought to yourself that Jeff, Zane, and Todd were most likely sleeping in the studio or in Dave’s room, so you continued to the kitchen. After making it to the sink with only one injury; a horribly painful stubbed toe, that you reacted to in what you had deemed an impressive manner—only whisper-yelling “fuck” at a moderate volume. As far as you were concerned you were successful in your escape to the kitchen undetected by your sleeping friends.

You leaned against the counter, turning on the cold water. The coolness of the water against your burning skin felt so nice, your hands rubbing against your forehead, cheeks and neck. What had you been dreaming? Even now, you shifted your thighs against each other in hopes to ease the pressure. Your screen lit up next to you.

A message from Jeff. You hated to admit it but damn at the sight of his name you felt the heat in your cheeks begin to bloom. He was sexy, everyone knew it. However, he knew as well as you did, that as a member of the friend group, sex among the friends has shown to be a true road to disaster. So when Todd had drunkenly exposed Jeff for admitting you were hot, you made a decision: you sure as hell didn’t want any drama. Therefore, he was a forbidden fruit. Something that you can look at all you want, but can’t touch. So you tried to steer clear of Jeff. Always keeping him at arm's length, friendly but not too personal. And that worked fine for you.

Opening the text, you felt your heart begin to race again.

are u up?

It was such a simple text but god were you excited to see his name on your phone at 4:34 in the morning. You responded a quick yes before you could talk yourself back to Natalie's room.

You leaned against the counter, your hands scooping your hair to pull into a ponytail. You could feel the hair at the base of your back that had been matted with sweat. The cold of the counter felt good on your lower back through the thin shirt and you let your head fall on your shoulders, the tiredness letting your eyelids flutter closed in resting.

“Hey.”

His voice sliced through the silence around us and my eyes shot open at the shock.

“Holy—What the fuck, Jeff.” You whisper-shouted across the kitchen island, you hand raising to rest on your heart. “You scared me. I didn’t even hear you...” you trailed off, watching as he casually walked through the kitchen grabbing two water bottles and continuing to stand adjacent to you. His arm reached across the empty space, a water in hand. You reached out to grab it, mumbling a thank you. From such a slight interaction you felt your body react to his proximity.

You hated how attracted you were to him, how his slightest move sparked such a chemical reaction from you. Your eyes were glued to his. The warm brown of his eyes looked so beautiful in the light of the moon. His lips were moving but you didn’t hear what they said, you were too locked in on how his eyes raced across your face, occasionally dropping to glance at your body so quickly, you had almost missed it completely.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm” you snapped back to reality, “what did you say?” He took a step closer and your heartbeat dropped to between your thighs. Your legs just slightly shifted tighter and as much as you hoped he hadn’t, Jeff noticed. His eyes dropped lower, rising again to land on your eyes. A smirk was just ghosting his lips and you knew he knew. You just hoped he wouldn’t talk about it.

“I asked, why are you up?” The words had tumbled so gracefully from his lips, the syllables dragging as he shifted in your space. He moved just slightly closer to where you were leaning. There was no way to create distance without noticeably running away from him.

“Oh, I couldn’t sleep, I needed to get some water. And you?” You countered trying to make innocent conversation but Jeff was feeling playful.

“You didn’t get water till I got here.” His face no longer trying to hide the smirk spreading across his lips.

“I was just—whatever,” you rolled your eyes, your cheeks were warm and you knew he was teasing you now. “Why are you up Jeff?” You asked, your arms crossing in front of you.

“Same as you…” he began. When his eyes dropped from yours again, you realized your clothes—or lack of clothes you were wearing. You released your arms trying to remain nonchalant as Jeff visibly checked you out. You cleared your throat again. Your mouth was dry and you know that you were wet, you needed to get out of this damn kitchen.

With the silence and the intensity of Jeff’s stare, you needed a quick escape. So you straightened yourself to Jeff, “Alright well I’m going back to bed...”

You had just barely taken a step into your escape when Jeff’s hand reached out to touch your side. The heat of his palm was against your stomach and his long fingers just skimmed the curb of your waist, he just slightly moved you back to your prior position leaning against the counter, only now his hand was against the thin fabric of your shirt.

He stepped closer, he was completely in your space, his right hand against the left side of your abdomen, trapping you against the counter. He felt so much taller now, his shoulders turning down for him to move his face next to yours.

Your breathing was noticeably uneven as his nose brushed against your jaw, his hot breath rushing along your neck and collar bones. You took in a sharp inhale as you felt the tips of his fingers toy with the bottom of your t-shirt, his fingers skimming across the skin above your underwear.

“I thought you couldn’t sleep.” His lips were at the shell of your ears as he questioned you, his index finger tracing back and forth against the lining of your underwear. It was so hard for you to fight a moan as well as fight the urge to move your hand between your thighs. You couldn’t speak, really. This all was becoming so much, you were horny and you couldn’t sleep, this is not what you had in mind as a way to calm down.

Before you could muster an answer he moved his hand to cup you through your panties. He finally was able to conjure a vocal gasp from you, your hand rising to hold on to his bicep. His face pulled back to look at you, his eyes now dark and filled with something new. “Hmm?” He asked again, the playfulness in his tone clear as he knew you were quite literally putty in his hands.

“I-“ you didn’t even know what to say. He had begun using his middle finger to apply pressure to your center through the thin fabric of your underwear, his teasing was too much. He felt how wet you were, he knew he won, but he needed to hear you say it. You let out what sounded like frustrated whine as you caved. “Please, Jeff.”

He didn’t tease you much longer, with a victorious smile his lips pressed hungrily against yours. His tongue pushed its way into your mouth, brushing against yours in the most delicious way. But you needed more, and you caught his lip between your teeth. Just enough for him to hiss in shock, his eyes reigniting with a fire that matched yours.

His hand that had been cupping you rose to your face, his thumb brushing your lips before pushing into your mouth. Your lips closed around his thumb and your tongue grazed it as he retracted it from your mouth, a raspy and quiet moan sneaking out from Jeff’s mouth.

His smile was dark and confident as he let his hand fall to its previous spot, this time skillfully slipping into the fabric and feeling you for the first time. You let out a moan as his fingers traced against your slit, his thumb finding its way to your clit.

Your moans were muffled into his free hand as he thrusted his digits in and out of you. It was an alteration of lazily connecting your lips and Jeff kissing against your neck, his voice coming out in pants against your skin, sending shockwaves running through you. As his beard pricked your neck in the most beautiful way, and you dug your fingers into his arm, you were euphoric.

“S’good, Y/N.” He spoke against the skin of your collarbones. “C’mon, babe.” You knew you were close, your body was needing a release. With Jeff’s free hand sneaking under your shirt to your hardened nipples, you couldn’t hold out any longer. You came undone with his fingers still inside of you. He was holding most of your weight against the counter and your lips found his. He swallowed your moans and his thumb continued circling your clit as you rode the high.

Your forehead rested on his chest. It was rising and falling beneath you; you could feel his fingers still in you. You leaned off of him as his hand snakes out of your underwear. Looking at his face now, you were bright red. His eyes stayed locked on yours as he lifted his fingers to his mouth, sucking on them. You were shocked at how forward he was and it made the pressure begin to rebuild in the pit of your stomach.

His eyes closed if only for a moment, and you heard him hum from behind his closed mouth. He pulled his fingers from his mouth, his dark eyes burning into yours again. You didn’t know what to say. You were beyond flustered. Before you could do anything, Jeff looped his hand to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a final kiss. Jeff took control of the kiss, making sure that you could taste yourself on his tongue.

He pulled away and you noticed his erection. You stepped forward, your lips pulling into a smirk, ready and almost excited to return the favor but Jeff stopped you. His hand wrapping around your wrist before you could feel his toned chest. Before your insecurities could question why, he spoke, letting his hand rest along your jaw, his thumb brushing against your swollen lips.

“Next time. Now you owe me one.” He said it with a smirk, walking around you. His hand quickly smacked your butt as he passed you, and you let out an airy gasp. Your whole body felt electric. His head turned back to you and he was already smiling, “Goodnight, Y/N.” He rounded the corner with a wink, and he was gone.

“Fuck.”

[kimberly-spirits13]

Right Hand Man (Loyal to the End) Pt. 3

Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader

Synopsis: You were like Talia’s daughter. The only thing was that you weren’t and instead, you had grown up in the foster care system and at a young age were taken by and personally trained by Talia. Along the way, you meet Damian and the two of you start to work side by side and eventually, after some time become closer and closer. However, when disaster in the league strikes, you face balancing an old, forgotten life as a normal child and the burden of right hand to the demon heir.

Note: I know that this is long and that there are a good number of time skips, but I didn’t want to make this into a series and just wanted it as a long fic because .... well because I can lol

Also, I didn’t want to have Damian so young in this so just go with it. I’m thinking maybe early 15 or almost 16 at the most. Idk I just don’t like writing for young Dami.

Warnings: mentions of murder, blood, brief mentions of torture but not for long

Word Count: 1836

Pt.1

       You boarded the jet that was to take you to Italy. Looking back at Damian, the two of you exchanged quick nods and you headed into the cockpit. After a few minutes, the flight had taken off and you were on your way to Italy. As always you had promised to return with a song. It was something that he could have that wasn’t assigned or approved of by his mother. You understood that well. Sitting back, you sighed just a bit and got your mind into the game.

Damian’s POV:

        It wasn’t a rare thing for you to leave on missions. You did every month or so. It was just that things seemed to be even more of a task around the compound. Training’s vigor was more noticeable. Classes were more boring. The food and company were terrible. The list went on and on when you left. It did improve greatly when you came back most of the time however. The rare nights that you got back and were injured were some of the scariest. You took the worst blows for your team. It was what made you the best leader he’d ever met.

        On the nights that Damian saw you being taken to the infirmary practically bleeding out stayed in his nightmares from day one. Talia would try and make him leave since she knew that he typically reacted strongly to it no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He’d worry all night about you until you were back on the training field. The one night he lost it was when you almost died. It was so bad they had to use the pit. He could hear you screaming and knew that you would have rather died. It was a way that the league would torture you. If you messed up, they’d put you in front of a film showing all of your mistakes. After that, you would be nearly dead once they tried to bleed you out and thrown into the pit by yourself. The next day when no one was looking, he pulled you into a massive hug. It’s never been discussed since.

        Now he was alone training. His sparring partner was in Italy on a mission without him. It was too quiet in the room now. Damian’s thoughts ran wild as he imagined what might happen while you were in Italy. He knew that there was something that you knew about this turmoil in the league that you were hiding. He suspected that it was on his mother’s demands. Besides, if it was a serious danger, you would say something. At least, he thought you would.

        Looking up at the clock that was hanging high on the wall, he was taken from his thoughts be the time. Damian picked up his bag and left for his class that he would be late for if he didn’t rush. Talia would never approve of that. Throughout the rest of the day, he was distracted by the thought of your absence. Though, he’d never admit it. Sitting on the rooftop alone was strange. He almost expected you to join him at any moment preferring the comfortable silence and ease that came with you during these times. He found no point in staying much longer since he couldn’t relax and eventually headed to bed early.

Your POV:

        It was night time in Italy. You had scouted the convention and knew all of the points that the targets could get in and out. Going over the plan one last time with your team, you had the map of the building on the desk between everyone.

        “Beta, you take target two, make sure that no one of importance leaves alive.” You had explained, “Regroup at the jet once you’ve finished your task. If you’re not back by the end of the hour, find your own transportation to the compound.” “Is everyone clear on the objective?”

        The group nodded, “Yes General.”

“Good, we will not be having the issues that were with last mission’s assigned team.”

        You folded the map and put it into a compartment in your belt before leaving with the rest of the team and splitting up into groups. This mission was going to be easy in all regards. You had entered the dressing room of your target. The rest of the squad was taking care of the security on the outside. Breaking communication was the most important aspect of the starting phase. This way no one would know if anything was going on. You watched the security team of the foreign diplomat. They were in formation even here. Their weapons were advanced but nothing you wouldn’t be able to handle. The song of an American movie played in the background on their phone. You knew it was something from a Disney musical.

      “Tightrope!” You thought remembering that you’d never gotten the chance to relay the song to Damian, “Hopefully the timing of the song isn’t ill placed with everything going on behind the curtains.” “Focus Y/N, you’re on a mission, not at a concert.”

      Without a moment’s notice, you hit the signal button on your communicator and then threw in a poison dart into all of the guards. There was a sudden clamor as men started dropping. You smirked some seeing the substance work before coming behind the diplomat and ending him with an injection of a stronger substance sure to end him before giving one more dose of a different chemical to insure the death of all.

      You saw that your team was finished and packed back up with the team before heading out.

“Report.” You demanded once getting to the jet on the coms.

“Mission was successful, heading to meet up now.” The squads confirmed.

“Well done to all sides.”

Careful to remember the song, you played it on repeat in your mind as you boarded the jet and took off. Ultimately, you were glad to be sleeping in your own bed tonight if you had the chance to sleep after reports were made to Talia and that the team was competent. You wanted to groan thinking about not sleeping tonight. You were bone tired but knew that the show must go on. Otherwise you’d be severely punished. No sleep was better than the pit.

Upon arrival, Talia met you at the landing pad as usual.

“Report.” She said with a better demeanor seeing you not covered head to toe in blood and rain.

“The mission was a success. All parties were taken out without alerting anyone with the approved weapon of choice.” “No intervention from myself was needed.” You said giving a very, very brief rundown before you’d have to relay the entire mission to her later.

“Good. Report to your rooms. General, I expect you in the briefing room in forty minutes.”

“Yes Talia.”

You saw that Damian was coming from down the hallway. He was later than usual but none the less, you were glad to see him. Even if you’d never admit it.

Damian’s POV:

        Damian ran down the hallway upon seeing the jet land. He knew to slow down when the hall would become populated and he’d be exposed so he did. However, the moment that no one was around, he was running again. Damian heard his mother and slowed to a walking pace, taking back his proper stance and commanding look.

        “Yes Talia.” He heard you say before you walked past her and towards him.

        He was glad to see you ... not drenched in blood. From your blood or someone else’s for that matter. You almost glistened in the moon light as you did on the roof tops. Though, he’d never seen you in mission gear like this for some reason. You looked like the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

        “Damian.” You nodded walking to him.

        “Y/N. I am pleased to see you not covered in blood and rain.” He commented smirking just a bit.

        “Very funny demon. The feeling is mutual.” You replied.

        He turned and watched you walk down the hall before going to the roof tops after talking with Talia. Damian knew that you wouldn’t be joining him tonight, however he was ready whenever you did.

_______________________________________________________________________

        That day almost never came. With what you had taken on with the new rank, you were always busy well into the night. Damian hated it. You almost hated it too. You loved the nights on the rooftop. Slowly, you tried to get back on better sleep but tonight you just wanted the stars and the mountains. That was it.

        Over the past few weeks, you had hardly had any time to talk. Even during training for some part was spent with recruits instead of him. You both hated it. For the first time it felt like you were away from a mission but still there. Damian thought that you were too busy for him most of the time so he just didn’t make the attempt to talk to you. You thought that he was going for space for a while so you didn’t push anything. Eventually, you were sick of it though and decided to head to the roof.

        You climbed to the top noticing that Damian was already there. Carefully, you sat next to him, legs hanging off the side of the structure.

        “I assumed you would not come tonight.” He commented.

        “I do not blame you. I’ve been ... extremely busy as of late with this new roll.” You sighed laying down on the roof.

        He didn’t say anything for a little while and just enjoyed being able to relax in a place other than maybe his chamber. You enjoyed the silence for a while before he did finally say something.

        “Did you come back with a song?” Damian asked glancing at you some.

        “As always.” “And do you still want to hear it?”

        “Of course.” He rolled his eyes some at your answer.        

        You started with the song ditching the higher notes as to not be too loud. He knew you could hit them and he knew that you dodged them. He’d heard you before as Talia wanted you to be able to sing for some unknown reason. When you weren’t training as a child or in schooling, you were doing that with a professor. The two of you sat there for a while just admiring the view.

        “I should be going off to bed now.” You said, “I have a lingering feeling tomorrow will be long.”

        “I understand.” Damian stood with you and headed for his bedroom.

        “I expect to see you at afternoon training tomorrow? I don’t have as many responsibilities tomorrow.”

        Damian almost smiled, “Of course.”

        You headed to your room and plopped into the bed. It was going to be a long day tomorrow. No matter how much you couldn’t wait to see Damian more, something told you not to get your hopes up. Before being totally consumed by your thoughts, you drifted to sleep.

Tag List:

@idkmanicantenglish

[theslythertrash]

So whenever I see superheroes I always freak out over small impractical costume things but I have never been angrier at show’s costumes than at bnha and this has been on my chest for several months now and it’s midnight and I’m half asleep so it’s the perfect time to write an essay about it on Tumblr. 

Here are my ranking for the bnha costumes for all of 1-A:

I’m fully prepared to be slammed for this. (Also I’m supposed to be an artist so if I ever find some free time I’ll actually draw my babies some proper costumes.)

Midoriya’s is 9.5/10.  It has an aesthetic, good color scheme and it compliments his quirk with iron soles and leg/arm enforcements. Has a nice belt, a mask for gas (hopefully) and facial protection. The only stupid thing is his bunny ears mask but it looks good when it’s down like a hood. My only correction would be to make his mask an actual hood. 

Bakugo is 8/10 Kacchan also has an aesthetic. His mask is a little ridiculous but I’m fond of it. He also has practical shoes and stuff. HIS GAUNTLET IS SO STUPID. HAS THE MANGA ARTIST EVER WORN LARGE BRACELETS? DOES HE KNOW HOW ANNOYING THEY ARE? YOU CANT WRITE. OR SCRATCH YOUR HAND. OR REACH INTO TIGHT SPACES. I know they’re for storing sweat but sweat is a liquid and if people can invent Aizawa’s magic scarf they can invent smaller gauntlets. Jesus. But his winter costume makes them smaller I think (idk I don’t read the manga but I’ve seen fanart) so 8/10.

Uraraka is 5/10  Uraraka has a cool aesthetic. I enjoy the space theme and colors. A helmet is good since she’s flying around (though I don’t understand why it doesn’t cover her entire head? Protect the back of your head! Also her mouth- that should help against gas and things but I also know she vomits a lot so it’s probably better without one). 

However, she’s sexualized too. Even outside of it being skin tight, she has a camel toe? Literally no one mentions it ever and it drives me crazyyyy. Look at her- why does she have that line there? Why? And why is her belt so bulky. How is she supposed to squeeze into tight spaces? AND ONCE AGAIN UNNECESSARY LARGE BRACELETS OH MY GOD. The manga explains her bulky heels and bracelets are to help with nausea but I refuse to believe they can’t invent smaller ones. And also boots without heels. Who is gonna run over debris on heels? 5/10

Iida is 7/10 He is too bulky. Why are they all so bulky.  He looks like when he walks down the street he clanks as he walks. Way to be stealthy dude, smh. 

Todoroki is fine I guess. Little boring but it’s passable. I wish it had more stuff for his quirk. Like maybe thermal fabric so he can cool down faster? Idk. 7.5/10

Tsuyu is a much bigger improvement over Uraraka. She’s got big ass bracelets again but they look like soft fabric so it’s probably easy to ignore. Her outfit has a wet suit aesthetic so that’s practical. Her goggles look a little bulky again but they are practical.  WHY IS SHE IN HEELS.  8/10

Mineta looks like he has a diaper kink and it’s not even there to help his quirk. -10/10

Kirishima. Baby. Put on a shirt. Also what the fuck are those gears. Why are you wearing bulky shit that’s unrelated to your quirk? How are you gonna lie down comfortably when you have large ass rings on your shoulders.  Why are you wearing a muzzle thing? How is that related to your quirk? If your gonna put something on your face wear something to protect your mouth from dust and gas.  His bottom half is fine ig. I’ve got mixed feels on his cape/skirt thing but at least it’s an aesthetic.  6/10

Don’t get me started on Yaoyorozu. God Almighty. Even outside of the perversion, why does she have a whole ass bookshelf on her butt instead of an iPad for easy access? And not only is it AN ENTIRE BOOKSHELF, its HORIZONTAL. Why do you have a horizontal ass shelf when it can be vertical at the very least? She needs tech with Siri so she can ask what chemicals are in stuff into an earpiece. And also some pants. And a bra.  -10/10

Idk what Tokoyami is doing. Being edgy I guess.  6/10 it’s fine.

Kaminari is fine I guess? He’s got the same problem as Tokoyami and Todoroki where it’s just an outfit and doesn’t actually help his quirk in any way.  He could include metal bits on his gloves so punches have an extra shock to them. Or maybe a rubber helmet or something to protect his brain from his own shocks...would that work? I’m not a scientist. Maybe carry around extra shock-resistant fabric in a belt or something so he can protect bystanders before releasing a full attack.  I REALLY like his added equipment for long-range attacks and I think he could go further with the idea- maybe add cords in the style of bows and arrows?  Basically very boring but fine ig. 7.5/10 (solely adding the .5 for his new equipment)

Aoyama looks like he has the same bulky and loud problem as Iida but it’s toned down and I’m low key very amused by it so it’s fine. 9/10 for my flamboyant boy.

Jirou looks like she is going to the mall. She has no aesthetic and looks super boring. I like that her outfit actually helps her quirk with her speaker boots but she should carry around some weapons too. And wear a padded suit for hits. Actually they all should have padding. Goggles and mask would be helpful too.  It’s fine I guess. Boring. 6.5/10

Okay, I’ve seen a lot of people complain that Ashido’s is really ugly. I’m actually amused by it so I don’t mind too much. The fur is ridiculous and the colors are loud but they are as loud as her personality so at least it has an aesthetic.  I’m more bothered that it’s impractical. It doesn’t help with her quirk. She should have gauntlets similar to Kacchan’s so she can store acid (don’t make them bulky though, please). Padding too. Her shoes can have an extra retractable surface for gliding on acid. It would also probably be helpful to carry around a similar blanket to the hypothetical one Kaminari would have so she can shield civilians from her acid.  It’s fine ig. At least she’s not sexualized. 7/10

Shoji looks like he has multiple nipples.  At least it’s kinda practical tho.  6/10

Ojiro looks like he was on his way from karate class when a cat died on his shoulder.  Once again he’s boring and doesn’t have anything interesting to compliment his quirk. He’s a good fighter so maybe he can also carry around a staff or nunchucks or something. He should pad his tail so the hits are extra hard.  Boring but passable if he removes the stupid fur. It looks like it’ll tickle his cheek when he runs.7/10

I actually really like Sero’s. It fits his aesthetics and is practical. His helmet and shoulders could be a tad less bulky but whatever. It would be cool if he had like suction cups on his shoes or something to make it easier to stick to walls but I imagine that would be hard to walk in so it’s fine.  8.5/10

Tooru is naked.  She has no costume.  She’s 15- that’s so gross. Also she’s probably constantly cold and extremely vulnerable. I can’t imagine all the scraps she gets just from running around. And her sensitive parts are exposed to disease- she’s going to get a yeast infection. And not to be gross on main or whatever but what does she do when she’s on her period? ALSO, how can she feel comfortable running around without a bra?  If Mirio can have a costume made of his hair so can Tooru. 0/10

Sato looks like a banana.  Very boring with no aesthetic but at least he has pockets to carry sugar in so that’s practical. Some padding would be nice.  6/10 boring

Why the fuck is Koda in shorts. He’s gonna get scraps on his knees. What is that ugly ass symbol on his chest? At least he’s practical with his mask to hide when he’s talking to animals. Personally, I think it’s ugly but at least it’s useful 6/10

Woo I'm done. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk/ midnight essay.  Winners: Deku, Kacchan, Sero, maybe Tsuyu. Maybe Aoyama.  Absolute losers: Mineta, Momo, Tooru, Uraraka.  Everyone else is varying levels of average

Also, I know I said I would only do 1-A but I have a special little place of hate in my heart for Aizawa’s costume so here’s my rant on him too:

JESUS CHRIST MAN CUT YOUR FUCKING HAIR YOU DINGUS. I know you're trying to have a hoboTM aesthetic and you have stubble and blah blah blah- I get it. We got it. (I lowkey think you’re hot) you wanna have dramatic hair. Noted.  But you're entire personality is about being practical and not wanting attention. That’s why you disliked All Might. Set an example for your kids PLEASE.  Why are you even bothering with goggles to hide when you blink WHEN YOUR HAIR IS A BIGGER TELL. I PROMISE I’M MORE LIKELY TO NOTICE YOUR HAIR DROP THAN YOUR EYES BLINKING YOU DUMB DUMB IDIOT. 

Either cut it, put it in a bun (best option imo) or get a hood. 

[nerdymedzebra]

Exercise-Induced Anaphalaxis test.

Ah, irony. Literally the first time IN MY LIFE I have done cardio and not reacted. ENTIRELY different from my cardiac exercise test last year where all the symptoms started up I started blacking out and it took 15 minutes to be able to leave the table  the tech dragged me onto when he had to pull me off the treadmill and not almost puke and over a half hour before I was able to leave the waiting room bc I was flat on the floor, legs up, trying to breath and not puke and get the rest of my body able to move again and perhaps be less tomato-red, sweaty, and scary looking.)(they weren't testing me for exercise induced anaphylaxis then, I think I hadn't learned that was a (rare, mast cell related) thing yet either. the tech was looking for weird heart arrhythmia or something and that was it and he didn't know what to do about me.

Probably the most likely cause was that my legs stopped working before It got much chance to start. Like, literally, it was weird, I was totally fine and then all a sudden my RPMs plummeted and they kept telling me to keep going harder and i shouted that I was, but I literally could not make the RPMs even stabilize, they were just tanking. It wasn't that the resistance felt too much, it was just like my legs had suddenly out of nowhere drained of all blood and energy and powered down. It was disconcerting that my body was straight up not responding to me.

They eased me into the exercise SO much (3 minutes sitting on the bike, not pedaling, then pedaling slowly, then pedaling @ around 65 RPMs which felt normal to me (and there felt like no resistance), then 70... with again what felt like only a few seconds of resistance here or there. But then one of the 3 respiratory therapists standing around me told me to stay above 75, and I then realized the test wasn't going to get harder, so I decided to try to keep my RPMs in the 80s/as high as I could... and so suddenly i went hard. I dont know if that just coincided with an increase in resistance or what, but I only lasted about a minute doing that before I got acutely out of breath and my legs started not listening.

The last thing I wanted was to NOT have the exercise-induced anaphylaxis that the ONE time im hooked up to monitors and having my blood drawn and have witnesses. Alas. For the first time in my entire life, I did intense cardio (well, only for a minute or two), and didn't react (tho my lungs burned like a mfer and I was still coughing 15+ minutes later, which does always happen too, but none of the other things did, like tanking BP and skyrocketing HR, extreme gi upset, throat swelling, blacking out.. Not even Flushing which happens first and to an absurd degree (in gym classes my level of redness would always scare my gym teachers)

So now I have to calm my upsetness and then try to figure out HOW this happened. Because, WHAT? I have never been more confused by my body than I am right now.

Was it simply because I only had a minute or two of *real* cardio?  I already knew I can ride a bicycle with no resistance (inclines) just fine. But then all the sudden my body was working HARD and then I could only last a minute or two. Perhaps that's why my body didn't really get the chance to start reacting! I remember when i taught my PT the term "interoception" (which is a struggle for most people with Autism) and she mentioned that actually, all her EDS patients seemed to have trouble with that too, we tend to go really hard, not recognizing when something is probably too much for our muscles, then we essentially collapse and are sore and wobbly for days afterwards. Maybe that played into this, too? I just straight up did not have enough legit cardio time.

Or was it bc it was a bike instead of standing? Standing is worse but I have had one of my worst reactions one a bike (tho it was also through freshly cut grass, which I'm allergic too so would have been more susceptible to bc of exercising chemicals, but no grass pollen here now and last month I started reacting on a bike.. Or was I then just having burning lungs like I did today, but since they usually come together i just assumed a full reaction was starting? ). But also if I'm on a flat area I can bike just fine. In gyms if I can set my own pace I can bike at a leisurely pace with little to no resistance and be fine. But Louisville, where I live, has the SMALLEST of inclines on the walk/ride back from downtown to our house, and I can NOT ride my bike on it)

Is it bc I was inside a Drs office and not outside, thus exposed to fewer triggers? But I majorly reacted during the cardiac only exercise test last year in a different hospital!

Is it bc the bike was weird and it was like pedaling on my toes instead of full footed? Is it bc there felt like less resistance than riding a normal bike til the end? It felt way easier than just using a regular bike Is it bc they made me ease into it so slowly my HR didn't feel like it spiked (even a flight of stairs makes it spike!) I did feel that it was just starting a minute before my legs gave out but my legs gave out before it could really show itself. (some people with exercise induced anaphylaxis react to the HR spike itself, tho Idk how they know!)

Was it because the room was the perfect temperature? I apparently have chologenic urticaria to heat (oh, that's why I'm an absurdly red sploychy mess after showers!) and I have to wear a mask in the cold bc it can set me off too. I didn't even start to sweat until a minute before the legs gave out.

Was it because I had fasted all day? Most EIAn is actually good-induced (can have allergic responses to food you're not allergic too when not exercising)? But most days I don't eat anything til dinner and I still react either way. Also, thanks to EDS causing too stretchy stomach and dysfunctional motility it was 530 pm and my stomach still felt full from dinner the day before so I'm not even sure that truly counts as fasting?

Was it some combination of things?

Am I just miraculously cured of this thing which has haunted and traumatized me since elementary school?

Is it just bc its exactly my luck to have THE defining feature of my body for 3 decades just NOT DO THE THING when I finally have the chance to prove it to the doctors!

UGH. According to the research on EIAn, a single exercise challenge is not enough to count EIAn out, particularly since most people with it only react *sometimes* (I seem to be one of the only ones in my support group that react EVERY time that it gets to the point of HR spike/sweat).. but will the immunologist who clearly had no idea what EIAn was know that? I had a bad experience with her last session so I have no desire to meet with her again anyway. Should I just leave it at this? The research also said that most cases of EIAn are diagnosed clinically, just from description of the symptoms and a case history. Should I just bring it up to my new GP when I see her (my AMAZING GP is closing her office this month :'( ) and go about it that way?

Does it really matter to have an "official" diagnosis anyway? It wouldn't change much, though the ONLY treatment that is on record for helping some people, is Xolair shots-- which I already know many MCAS patients get anyway, so do i need to bother with an official diagnosis, or can I just bring up all this stuff to the GP and see if she'll give me the go ahead to try it (though at that point maybe she'd be able to give me the EIAn diagnosis as well, if I just bring in some of the research to show her (It's a rare thing so I doubt most doctors know anything about it on their own).

Anyway... I'm sad and disappointed that the test went this way. I wish it had just been a simple inclined treadmill like at the cardiac exercise test! I didn't even last 5 minutes on that before a full reaction, but they weren't testing my lung function and blood ever minute like they were on this test!

[twtd11]

idk if you're currently taking prompts but... set just after 2x08 so alex and maggie are together but very new. maggie is chilling out w/ alex in her deo lab and alex is running some tests on weird alien secretions or some dangerous chemicals etc. suddenly alex spills something on herself (maybe maggie distracted her??) and has to go running into the emergency decontamination shower and strip and maggie is just staring in awe bc alex is super naked and super hot? and maggie really wants to touch

“No food in the lab,” Alex said without looking up.

“How did you even…?” Maggie tossed her apple core into the nearest trash can without finishing her question.

Alex kept looking into her microscope. “There’s a giant sign three feet to your right. It’s basic lab safety. Don’t you work for the science division?” She looked up briefly, about to start imputing values into her computer when she caught sight of Maggie. She looked like she was about to head to a club. She was covered in tight fabric and dark colors and Alex knew fuck me heels when she saw them. Her mouth dried up.

“See something you like, Danvers?” When Maggie chuckled, her eyes sparkled. She settled onto a nearby stool.“I… uh… um…” Alex tried to adopt a nonchalant pose but instead, her hand came down right at the edge of a sample container. The contents flew up and splattered themselves across her chest, covering both her lab coat and her shirt.

“Shit!” Alex immediately headed toward the lab’s decontamination shower. She pulled the chain and got doused. Maggie knew the situation could be serious but Alex looking like a drowned rat was too hilarious not to laugh at. Then Alex started shedding her clothing. First her lab coat, then her shoes. Then she was pulling her shirt off. It was Maggie’s turn to gape as Alex’s abs were quickly exposed to the cold water. A moment later, Alex was standing under the shower in nothing but her bra and panties and Maggie couldn’t catch her breath. She knew Alex was in good shape but for some reason she hadn’t expected to see rippling muscles. Maggie had to grasp the edge of the lab bench to stop herself from reaching out for Alex. 

Once she was sure she was clean, Alex shut off the water. It was only then she realized that her girlfriend was staring at her. 

“Like something you see, Sawyer?” Alex slowly stalked toward Maggie.  Alex leaned in for a kiss but before their lips could meet, she reached out and pulled Maggie into her cold, wet arms. 

Maggie shrieked and tried to pull away but by the time Alex let go, she was soaking and Alex was laughing.

[azntoastyz]

Please, ignore me ramble if you want.

This is an article that lists the general differences between computer science and software engineering. Although my chemistry degree is not related to any of these fields (except software that run with instruments utilized, but let’s be honest. I don’t use any except the IR/moisture analyzer or ERP system), but I have taken a class here an there (who hasn’t? according to my brother’s best friend). I mean. . . he isn’t wrong. Because I’ve indulged myself in one C++ course (knowing the basic functions in every language), a week SQL course provided by oracle, and completing a little HTML/CSS thing on codecademy. Yeah, I can make relations between the applications that I use and generalize what software developers or engineers used to like create this application so I could do what I do.

I don’t completely know the details yanno? I am curious though. Whomever created tumblr? How tf did they come up with these ideas? What I’m afraid of is the industry being over populated with people who have knowledge of tech. People say that there will always be tech jobs available, but I learned that the demand and supply of people with specific abilities for a job will determine how much that position will offer.

I am a chemist. Specifically a quality control chemist, even though my title is quality control lab technician. The bottom of the bottom. Working in the manufacturing industry, I know that I have a lot of knowledge to gain, but it is mostly knowledge of business, how this business works, what we sell, how to handle different situations with unhappy customers. Being a qc chemist is not what I thought it would be. When I presented at STEM week at a middle school, I remember listening to an electrical engineer that works in manufacturing (i am assuming she works with the machinery). Obviously, manufacturing has machines, and they need someone with special abilities/mindset to operate, maintain and fix them if needed. She says that’s the jack pot, but the thing is “is it satisfactory or enjoyable?” I kind of feel like a robot, but everyone has a task that they can do with experience right? I feel like if someone really wanted to, they could learn what I do within a month, and do my job. Maybe that’s why I’m lowballed, but idk.

Why am I looking towards careers in technology/pursuing a career in tech? It’s not the first time, I’ve decided this. I know that I should’ve done it in the first place in college, but I felt like I was too far into my chemistry program that I should finish. Besides, I was getting pretty good at chemistry, and everything I’ve learned as an underclassman, I got to see how they intertwine with the upperclassman classes and labs. I thought it was where I needed to be. When I took that C++ class in college, it came so natural for me like I absorbed that damn info. I did very well on the exams, and when it came to the weekly homeworks, they were hard to debug after creating what I needed to, but when I finally did, it was hella rewarding. Especially, teaching it to my classmate/when she didn’t understand I was like hell ya i’ll explain it! (except matlab omfg that taught like at < month left before finals so I had to focus on my other courses as well). I decided to take an SQL course at oracle after I graduated, and I saw myself actually being in the tech business. I have traits in me where my father said “you’d be a great engineer” as he is one himself. I have a tendency to organize things and make sure everything is in check as a hobby. I don’t mind sitting in front of a computer as a job, working from home or talking to people about projects (I would like to have an environment like that. Right now it’s very casual. I’m not complaining, but it’s so casual to explain). There are so many reasons that I could blab on. Wait why not? this is for me. I would like to have projects instead of a stream of things coming in doing the same stuff. I, honestly, feel like a machine at a factory. thinking about the future, I want to have a family. I want to spend time with them. At this career, I am exposed to toxic chemicals. I will become pregnant, and I will still be dealing with these chemicals. It’s scary.

I’ve been looking for inspiration, and I found videos on youtube by this channel called “the school of life.” One of my fears is that I’m too late to switch careers. He made a point though: how tf will most people know what they want to do in adolescence? I’ve been an adult from 18-24. That is 6 years. out of those 6 years, I’ve spent all of them really thinking about what I want to do. 2 of those years, I’ve been working as a qc lab tech, gaining experience in this field. He made a point that this point in our life seems like a huge chunk of our existence as its like a fourth of my life. He said to think in the long run. We generally retire at the age of 65. I’m 24. That’s approximately 41 years of working. Do I see myself working in the job for 41 years? What is 41 years compared to 2 years of schooling and another 2 years of gaining experience again? I’m deciding to be at this job for 2 years minimum. I have 8 months to really think about it. I will make a deadline for myself. Either I decide to dive in, or decide to find a new job and work my way up to technology (tech in the field of chemistry maybe pharmaceuticals). It’s quite scare as I will be 25 at the time, thinking about moving onto the next stage of my life (not career wise).

“I’m looking at the curriculum too much rather than specific job.” My task at this moment is to learn about jobs in tech and see if there are any jobs that are related to my field. If not, and I find something in just tech. I should go for it.

[mollyrulz9999]

Guess it's time to check in again

Here comes yet another long post. If you don't want to hear about cancer and depression, probably scroll past this one. From the last time I posted, a fair amount has happened. May as well address the cancer I talked about in the last post. I'm out of it now! Just need to do check-ups once every so often, but I'm confident it'll stay gone. The chemotherapy was shit, and I wouldn't wish an experience on anyone. I had to go in Monday-Friday for 2 weeks, then one Monday after it. I repeated it again before finishing it up. Every monday-friday I had was rocky and tough to cope with. In the first week, they tried putting a canula (I think that's how it's spelt, idk) in my veins, but because they were so deep it was tough for them to get it in a spot that wasn't causing massive pain. They ended up settling for a tube that stayed in my arm, which made its way up my neck and ended up right above my heart. I had to wear a patch that I was allergic to cause that's what held it best. There was a 'lot' of vomiting, lack of eating and nearly passing out once or twice. It got to the point where I started having anxiety just from being in the hospital, because you psychologically associate the place with all the shit they put you through (the flushes at the start and end of each session in particular felt horrible. It was a cold watery feeling that goes right up your arm and the unnatural sensation I got from it made me want to vomit or get extremely nervous when it happens). The weeks where I only needed to be in for a Monday were great, except the Monday night of the first one. I reacted badly to what they put in me that day which resulted in feeling cold and shivering even after having 5 blankets on me in front of the fire. That was followed by nearly passing out at the dinner table after I thought I was okay again. Aside from that, I got to do a fair bit of traveling with mum and dad to take my mind off it all. The queezy feelings were still there, but I was appreciating the time I had off chemo days a lot more. When the second lot of chemo came around it was easier because the hard work from the doctors and nurses were already done, but I was gaining a lot of anxiety from being there. It got to a point where one day I had a horrible feeling hit me like a brick that made it feel hard to walk. I slowly made my way to the hospital with some water, but I couldn't make it up the stairs. Luckily the youth cancer co-ordinator saw me there and wheelchaired me up to the chemo ward. I ended up crying a heap because I felt so useless and unable to do something so basic like walk to an elevator. They put me in a room and gave me some tablets to calm me down, which worked really well. I ended up taking them regularly from then until the end of my chemo. Also during this time, I was able to visit my Tafe class for a day or two. Doing this was great, and it gave me a feeling of belonging with a group of people despite what's going on with me. There were a select few friends I talked to and they got to see and hear a lot of what's​ happened during this time. I value their kindness greatly, especially during that time, as well as the humour we made around it, which ended up being a great coping mechanism. This felt crucial when 85% of the time I was feeling incredibly down and unreceptive to almost everyone and everything around me. I also ended up losing my hair. I didn't expect it to feel so weird. Because my scalp has never been exposed to much sunlight since I grew hair on it as a baby, it made every bit of contact with anything feel really cold. Laying my head down on a pillow would bring it up and it feels like a cold sweat is on your head that doesn't exist. It was strange, but there's been a few photos taken to remember the experience. I ended up making calendars for some of the nurses at the hospital for putting up with me, which they very much appreciated. I ended up getting to the other side of it all though, and I'm able to get back into doing school and photography. The feeling was incredibly relieving, but the depression didn't quite leave yet. Everything with my ex, as well as some serious rising nihlistic thoughts were washing around in my head. I had no way to get rid of them. The worst part is they hit the most after I do something really fun. For example, I had a really good night out having dinner with friends, which was great fun, but on the way back home from it I get slapped in the chest with a wave of depression, and I didn't want to interact with anyone else that night. It's strange, but I hate that it happens. It's like my brain's actively trying not to let me have fun. Maybe there's a chemical unbalance in my endorphins? Who knows? I'm back Tafe again, but we have a new teacher this year. He's not very well suiter for the course, I'll say that much. Not his fault necessarily, but it's still something that should have been thought about. The rest of the class has gotten very passionate about getting someone else in to replace him, but I've been incredibly lazy in doing the course this year, so ultimately I find it tough to keep an opinion on something for long. That makes it tough when you're trying to gather claims to put forward to the Tafe co-ordinator. I dunno, maybe I'm losing my drive to learn too? Despite that though, I have a few photography projects in mind I want to pull off. While working on them, I also got myself a website and business cards. It's starting to get interesting in terms of building networks. The big hurdle to jump here though is that I'm normally VERY introverted, so networking is gonna be an issue for me. I hope I can find a way around it. Otherwise I may as well keep it a hobby. I'm also starting to finally see a therapist. I really needed it since the cancer, relationship feelings and Tafe hit me over the last few months. It turns out I had a lot of repressed experiences as a child that still cut deep to this day. I didn't even consciously know those experiences still affected me to this day. This explains a lot in regards to the depression I've had to hide from everyone and how intolerant or scared I feel towards certain personality types. I'm yet to dive deeper into what all that's about, but it should be interesting to see how it all goes. There's your long post for the next few months. See you again on here when there's more stuff to make a giant wall of text from.