#so maybe ill fix it and upload it later

[pomdor]

when your whole arc is learning patience and empathy so you come out the other side of your harrowing adventure irreversibly changes but undeniably more mature and more able to not only recognise the skills and brilliance of the people around you but able to express love and appreciation for who they are.

anyway blue loves his family and also is probably rife with trauma.

[mejomonster]

Justice in the dark, finished ep 2:

I am just so beyond overwhelmed I'm watching it honestly. I was lucky to experience Guardian a year after it came out, which got me into cdramas and cnovels and studying chinese, which got me into priests writing in particular, and i never had to anticipate or hope for guardian. I was lucky to just find it's cdrama version as my first experience period of a cdrama and of the story. It was everything I loved personally (just the perfect niche choices for Me). I never had to anticipate or wonder or hope if an adaptation would exist or be good. Because for me it was already perfect on first watch (yes even horrifically bad cgi cat da qing - I have a particular fondness for awful cgi at times especially in campy shows like Xena and Doctor Who so the low budget only added to my enjoyment personally lol).

Then Word of Honor came out. After id studied chinese for a year, worked a lot to drag myself through reading 28 chapters of tian ya ke and my first significant chunk of reading a priest novel in original chinese. I had OPINIONS. My biggest being they NEEDED to be morally grey fucked up people, needed to lie and put on acts like in the book, and Gong Jun was my dream casting for Wen Kexing but I'd have settled for anyone with a decently fitting performance. My expectations of a live action drama were absolutely blown away. The cast was actually my specific dream cast, Gong Jun pulled a better performance than I've Ever seen him do prior (just perfect in WoH specifically he really did amazing), Zhou zishu is SUCH a hard character to act much like Zhang Qiling in dmbj in that he is quiet and keeps himself private so an actor NEEDS to be really good at the performance to the audience to get across the characters internal world and get the character to come off correctly. He did it. So absolutely blown away by performances as good as Bai Yu and Zhu Yilong did for Zhao yunlan and shen wei, when I had no expectations they'd be As Good only hopefully sufficiently good. So acting was WOW. the side cast actors also absolutely blew me out of the water. The entire show team did honestly - the costumer showed how MUCH can be done with costumes and wig regardless of budget (compare WoH wigs to The Untamed or Eternal Love - just more unique designs for everyone's wigs in woh). The sets are simple but distinguishable and again while it's just a simple X setting in woh I still found the sets more memorable than the Eternal Love sets overall, the fighting is choreographed GOOD (1 I heard by the same person as Ultimate Note which would explain a lot as both have fun action scenes, 2 I love The Untamed in many regards but also there's fight scenes where extras swing at nothing so fight choreography wasn't quite as strong u know), the color design in post production isn't like ideally natural but it shows off the costumes and further makes the limited budget look distinguished as it's own fully realized concept. Way Better than I ever expected honestly (guardian had limited set budget too and honestly it DID look cheap it only was beloved by me because they make it so Ridiculous in certain aspects it Crosses into Doctor Who level weird sci fi design). And finally the script - handled by a good writer, I felt, that kept the core story elements I wanted and added some more. I didn't like the "knew each other as kids" element which if you know me you know why. But since I always treat live action cdramas as Alternate Universe stories? I could appreciate they didn't bring up knowing each other in a like "we are connected cause of it way" but more as a "strangers who briefly crossed paths once and so have some experiences they both somewhat relate or connect to" which let the script writer mostly keep the original novel relationship vibe. Basically? I'm still absolutely stunned and blown away we got a GREAT drama, let alone a good one.

I knew Sha Po Lang had a drama filmed and DONE. I hadn't read it so I thankfully had no great attachment to the story being done right. I was excited because I love priest stories so I know it'll be based on good source material, and I LOVE the idea of steampunk historical. I had no idea on what to expect though besides potentially horrifically bad cgi for the steampunk elements if they didn't cut them out completely? Or cheap but functional cgi like Once Upon a Time in Lingjian Mountain (it'll be miraculous if it's like The Lost Tomb Reboot or Utlimate Note or Love Between Fairy and Devil in terms of quite Decent nice cgi). I had no expectations until an actor I admire was cast as one of the leads. Then I figured: well this will be a GOOD show to watch. Because that actor is worth watching Just by being in it since he'll give a great performance, and the source material came from priest so it can only be so bad. I figured THAT drama was what to mentally prepare for! Then it didn't come! We're still waiting.

Now finally to Silent Reading. It's my favorite priest novel. Of any adaptations to have expectations about, it's this one for me. I made edits for this one. I watched bilibili fanvideo edits for the book and had opinions on which aesthetic choices worked best. I cared. I saw it (like a couple other novels I'm excited for adaptations for) was getting adapted too! After sha po lang, way later, casting dragging on. I assumed okay temper yourself you won't even see it until Immortality 2ha is out (lmao ;-; ). I also decided BECAUSE it's my favorite? I figured I would be disappointed and let down. So I tried not to even hope itd be good. I hoped, desperately, decent actors would be cast who could do a good solid job. I got immensely lucky when Fei Du was cast cause I know from Go Ahead that guy can ACT so at least fei du would be wonderful to watch. I had no idea about anyone else and again tempered my expectations to please please just be Decent. (So Tao Ran being Perfectly cast and acted is blowing my goddamn mind nonstop). I also hoped, for an expectation, a visual aesthetic like Under the Skin or some video edits I'd seen on bilibili. Just a sort of Beyond Evil, Flower of Evil, The Guest, sort of gritty thriller grounded somewhat in reality but at the edge kind of. A detective show with a psychologically heavy lean to it. Possibly a little stylistic even in color choice cause I personally like shows that visually look like Their Own thing (even if it looks less natural - like I love Goodbye My Princess and Heroes visually even though it's such extreme color editing). And finally I hoped for a serviceable bare minimum... bare minimum... solve murders and stick at least basically to the book cases script. I really had no idea what to expect of writing wuality except a "PLEASE be Decent you're working with great source material, it's already got an audio drama with a script u should barely have to work to make this Decent just don't make it awful." So yeah. Low expectations. I probably could have been happy with Granting You a Dreamlike Life level writing quality, visual quality (except dear fuck please with blues instead of that yikes yellow gyadl used a ton), and passable actors.

Instead I got way better than my expectations and it's breaking my mind a little. Color grading? Blue greens and I'm sure some people hate it I fucking love it to pieces. (If I'd give any visual critique it's that I think they're over smoothing actors and I love gritty real looking skin but I recognize a lot of cdramas generally make the choice to face smooth and use filters so it's going to crop up in some stuff I watch :/ it's not totally awful in that I can see Luo's stubble and sometimes Fei Du's cover-up powder on his little nose, but overall the contrast intensity and color grading they chose makes the skin look less gritty in combo with I imagine some skin smoothing filters). I personally Love the cgi I have seen, which i assumr either means cheap cgi came up EONS since guardian or they got bigger cgi budget for a crime drama that shouldn't need them than I would've figured. The city bits that I imagine are fake establishing shots look way better than guardian and in line with Ultimate Note quality at times (at least they're not too noticeably bad is my point). The extreme lighting choices are unnatural for sure but I really like them since there's a heavy metaphor right now of Luo as the light and Fei Du in the dark, and seeing that visual metaphor play out with actual bright lights/intense shadows frequently in scenes is so visually satisfying to me, you can read their mental states just by the lighting (one scene Fei Dus emotions drop and it goes from sunny to storming which is REALLY on the nose and funny but also I love how thoroughly this way of using light is through the entire show). Green and blues also seem to be being used for light and dark, life and death, warmth and cold, Luo and Fei. I never had the expectation so Much detail would be put to visuals and I'm so beyond grateful.

Next, the music. Oh my god the music. So far it's not like Life Changing to me the way Guardians soundtrack was (I love Chen Xuerans music - he also did some Tomb of the Sea music I also love). But I didn't expect the music to even be more than servicable, yet I'm enjoying it enough I want to go look up the tracks? (Also WoH had a banger soundtrack forgot to mention that). I love the choice of piano instruments frequently in the background music, it's extremely fitting of this particular story with priest naming chapters after famous literature and just the vibe of old detective stories. At the same time? Again there's this comparison between a very piano and western orchestra background ost, and the very modern English song that's kind of pop music that Fei Du plays often and with Tao Ran and sometimes plays in scenes with Luo. It's like the light/dark lighting, the music juxtaposition. It's such a noticeable choice, and it really adds to how effective the scenes are. I did not expect the music to shine to me. It's not like WoH levels yet in terms of any particular song lyrics, but the music playing when Fei Du was young seeing his mom, and the music playing at the end of ep 2 as Luo talks to Fei Du about his mom, were both impactfully used.

Writing: not much to say except oh my fuck I can't believe I'm seeing these scenes I love acted out. Acted out properly, like I pictured them. ;-; I'm amazed how much they're sticking to book honestly. I. Am just incredibly overwhelmed moving on. It feels like coming home honestly, a new scene starts and I know exactly where I am from the novel. I actually happen to enjoy when cdrama adaptations change story (Alternate Universe story) so id be just pleasant too if the story Does happen to change, but at the moment this is maybe the most faithful (*except the little sci fi intro note) adaptation I've seen of any book in general in my life. I am so so happy. I loved the scene in Tao Rans car. The scenes of Fei as a child is better than anything I could have possibly ever imagined (Luo coming from the light to cover his eyes and stop the horror, pulling him safe to the light, just the visuals and music absolutely <3 ;-; ). The scenes with Fei Du, Tao Ran, and Luo Wenzhou are just like I imagined them (this may not be true for everyone though lol - I read with the feeling they really were cold and bristly while caring/pushing into each other's business, but not even seeing each other as friend or romantic options at the start - this is coming off just like I imagined, with Tao Ran exactly just... right out of my brain perfect kudos to the guy playing him he's singlehandedly changing my life damn). I saw some people mentioning not seeing much chemistry between Luo and Fei. I may change my mind later but... as of ep 2? I'm happy to say I'm seeing exactly what the novel gave me at the same points in the plot. I actually think the shows giving a Touch more because it's really Really hammering home how Luo and Fei have revolved around each other 7 years, are stuck together in a situation they can't move past, are yin yang light dark warmth cold passion logic alive dead, and those kind of fucking parallels really hammer very obviously that as lovable as Tao Ran is it's really Luo/Fei who are the main characters and who have effected each other's lives most greatly. Yes Tao Ran is Luos best friend and was his partner since their first case of Feis mom - but Luo is who reached out slightly More to Fei Du, who made it his entire purpose to help this kid, who this kid Blamed for being unable to help, who chose to keep trying to take care of Fei for 7 years ever since (Tao ran also doing so because he was involved). Yes Fei Du crushes on Tao Ran as a safe outlet, because Tao Ran won't reciprocate (for a variety of reasons from being straight to thinking of himself as someone taking care of Fei like an older brother - and that emotional position of his is uniquely why he can give such direct advice to Fei that Fei wouldn't take as kindly to as from an actual romantic option like Luo). Fei Du acts emotionally more open with Tao, and certainly tries harder to try and live healthier by associating wirh Tao (and Tao indulges it because it does make Fei feel more human and connected). But it's clear Luos the one who makes Fei face his fears directly, who cuts through the shield entirely, the one who's words actually genuinely shake Fei Du. Tao Ran can call Fei out but on some level Fei won't break from it since it's Tao saying it, can close back up if he does open enough to take it to heart. Luo is fundamentally a person thats Too important to Fei for Fei to control how he handles him. Luo changed his life, was his hope then his hopelessness. And still remains both. The show is absolutely hammering that. Whereas the book? If you didnt know Luo was going to be the main character, you'd figure Fei/Tao was going to be at least an initial ship. Or Tao/Luo if only it was friends to lovers (just me then lol). My point is the shows clear irs got a very specific "bromance" angle and it's hammering it as much as Merlin/Arthur got hammered with 2 sides of the same coin he's your destiny. And more.

Acting again. I also love all the side characters so far. Love the casting choices all around. Zhang Donglan was not how I pictured lol but I liked his actor, the core investigation group is just like I pictured.;-; <3

Luos actor. So eyecandy in a screencap he is not particularly. In motion? He's looks wise passable for Luo. Which is like... when I read the book Luo was traditionally handsome like some superhero (Captain joke from the book and all) but in regular man's roughed up clothes of regular financial means, basic work haircut, could tone himself down if needed. So Zhao Yunlan, while I love him (good job Bai Yu) is too "pretty" to be Luo - the leather jacket too flashy, the whole look just too flashy. Luos styling in the show is acceptable as it looks like an everyday man's less flashy version of Zhao Yunlan, which is about where Luo lands. I imagined a more Model handsome type for Luo just because I imagined him more Abruptly in your face handsome hero (think Captain America) compared to "blends into the background next door neighbor cute" that is Tao Ran (and tbf show Tao Ran is Perfect.... I imagined Yang Yang but dressed/styled toned down, and this actor visually is like a 96% match to an actual fancast edit I made so.. he's perf). Luos actor instead also has a similar "everyday man next door" handsome. On the upside its probably realistic given he qnd Tao Ran should feel on the same level. On the other no its not mu mental picture of Luo - I couldn't even fancast him because he's SO specific in my mental interpretation. But back to the point: as an actor he does look suitable while playing the role. His actual acting? That's where it really matters. When I read, Luo was SUCH a specific character to me if an actor can't pull it off it'll hurt. His actor is doing Perfect. I'm beyond grateful. He's just like Luo in my head. His voice is a touch different but it's acted great so it's fine. The only scenes that jar me are ones where I can clearly know someone edited a scene or added a thing to his costume to make him look like Zhao Yunlan lmao, just because it feels less like Luo and I know it? Like his scene saving a girl from a mugger on a bike was so reminiscent of show Guardian Zhao Yunlan getting off the motorbike. The glasses and leather jacket in ep 1 on Luo screamed "similar to Zhao yunlan" but toned slightly down, and the scene he talks to get into the crime scene felt very echoey of Zhao yunlan doing that to get into the first crime scene in Guardian. The actor made it flow fine, and he Feels like Luo so I'm happy as peaches. But there were some moments in ep 1 I think lol either director or writer or someone wanted to reference Guardian or rely on that similarity to give the watcher a familiar impression. The actor is Really nailing the small moments of acting with his team, and the emotional moments with Fei are just so well done.

Anyways in summary? I had so few expectations and they've been far surpassed. I'm amazed how much extra stuff I didn't even want to hope for is also lovely in this. I'm so !!!!

[ask-alphabetboyluvr]

People might have asked you what’s your most fave bd chapter. What is your least favourite one maybe in terms of the story itself or the writing process?

ooo i love this Q!!

so it's actually 51!!! or the writing process for it at least!

i do this thing sometimes where i spend like 96730538 hours writing and am like :D okay :D that's done :D like my brain is such jelly, and upload the chapters without going through them properly (me with throttle 37 a couple days ago lol).

there'll be a feeling of discontentment within me that wont rest, and so ill take it down a day or so later, add another 3k and realise that it was totally unfinished and not ready to be published -- but by that point my invested readers will have already read it and know then plot :( it always makes me feel so embarrassed haha, my least favourite feeling.

anyway, 51 was SUCH an important chapter, and it hit all the plot points it needed to, but the first iteration of the chapter felt rushed and not... good? i guess?

it just didn't hit the mark in the way I wished it would and I could really tell that readers shared my thoughts about it (even if they were too kind to say it!), and so yeah, I just hated that feeling.

so that's the process. i love the chapter now!! fixed it up nicely hehe

in terms of the plot? the one where they fought about hayun in his bedroom :(

[manonamora-if]

October Check-In

September passed wayyyy too fast again, and almost all my efforts went into completing the DOL-OS remaster. And finishing strong by catching the FLU :D /s

You know the drill... long post ahead:

Recap of last month's progress

Recap of last week's stuff

Other IF stuff done or in the works

Other IF events

Plan for October

- _ -

September progress

The plan for last month was to:

continue to play and review games ✅ (just a few tho...)

finish the DOL-OS remaster ✅✅✅ just in time! also needed one more week from the planned date to finish it properly

continue a WIP or fix another semi-completed game: 😐 (see this week's progress)

add another block to the SugarCube Guide: ❌ (was planning to, but the illness)

- _ -

Last Week's progress

I pulled myself to the finish line by the hair at the end buuuut...

DOL-OS - THE REMASTERED VERSION IS NOW OUT!

It's now beautiful, bug free (i hope), with new content, and translated into English! First completed in a month, remastered almost within a month too!

If you liked it, consider leaving a little rating? or a comment?

Even if you don't care to play it, at least open the game once to check out the loading page :P

Also I have:

redone the intro post (if you could share it around, that'd be lovely)

wrote the extensive dev log

updated the Projects Status page

added the OG Comp Version of the source code on my GitHub

uploaded the OG Comp Version on the IFArchive (processing)

Unless there are raised bugs, this game is also going into the SHELF!

As mentioned in last Sunday's check in, I've gotten the new draft from MelS. It's over 20k words...

So I'm back to editing the file, going through the text and leaving comments. I was about 1/4 through before the illness arrived.

And MelS is continuing making progress on the final chapter in the meantime.

We've also been discussing the future release(s) and potential need for rewrite of the first chapters. MelS style had changed a bit, and he is worried the first chapters are too drastically different from the later ones. We might even get a few beta readers before the final release...

In my plan for September, I mentioned La Petite Mort to be probably the next remaster project I tackle on, with a potential translation release for the EctoComp.

I checked with the rules: translations are considered new works. 🥳 So we are looking at an EctoComp deadline, which is in a month.

So this week, I've gone through the code and:

mapped out the new map of the game (which will include more rooms)

listed the characters/NPC (a few new ones)

listed the different mechanics to (re-)code (esp the inventory)

listed the endings available (currently about 7, 2 are early endings)

listed the beats and actions for each room (more animal petting!)

The plan is to, in order:

Correct the current French writing

Add the new content (in French - about double what there is rn)

Re-code the game (+ accessibility settings)

Upload the French Remaster

Translate the Game into English

Add the translation inside the code

Submit to the EctoComp (depending on how long this takes, maybe I can achieve the La Petite Mort category again :P)

I'll also need to:

update the itch page of the game (right now it's too bland)

update the intro post of the game

Unsure yet:

add sound effect and background music...

Most importantly, the game is rated PG and will stay PG. It has some horror-y element, but more of the Hocus Pocus/Terry Pratchett kind than say... Saw or any Halloween slasher.

I will be taking down the itch page of the game closer to the reupload to check everything is in order.

With the IFComp starting soon, expect review over at @manonamora-if-reviews. Last year I managed about 30 before I tapped out (and I had submitted something). Let's see how I do this year!

I would like to try to knock a InkJam + Bare-Boned Jam + EctoComp (mini) entry at the end of October, since the theme of the Ink Jam is revealed at the start of the jam (23rd). One stone, two three birds and all that. And maybe revisit a short story I wrote when I was younger as a base... 🤔

- _ -

IF Events!!

October is filled with IF events, so this will be quite a list:

the voting period of the IFComp starts on October 1st until mid November. I think there are expecting over 50 games? I recommend waiting one-two days before voting, as there are often 1st day bug fixes (speaking from experience).

the Bare-Bones Jam organised by @neointeractives starts on October 1st and runs until the end of the month! It is unranked.

the EctoComp, the spooky IF ranked jam, starts on October 1st and ends on the 28th. There are two categories, and you can also submit in French or Spanish!

the InkJam is a 3-day ranked jam at the end of October, with a theme!

You'll be able to vote for the Spooktober entries in a few hours.

SeedComp! has started again, see @seedcomp-if (we've updated/cleared up some rules)

- _ -

The PLAN tm for October

Play and review more IF games: this one is kinda done before it started because of the IFComp. Also, someone submitted a few games. And there are a bunch on my To Play list both on the IFDB, itch, and the MOIKI Social Club.

finish the La Petite Mort remaster: I think I should be ok? The original LPM was done in 4h (in chunks over a week or so). I plan to essentially double the content, and fix coding issue. I don't really have to worry about the UI at all with this one.

either continue a WIP or fix another semi-completed game: that will be a check mark if MelS and I can make some good progress on the editing.

maybe try to add another block to the SugarCube Guide? I still have a list I could check down... Same with a template. It will heavily depend on the time I have.

(and maybe do an extra French entry for the EctoComp)

Taking the list of August...

To-Do not require much of new stuff:

translate Escape Goncharov! into French. ✅

fix the bugs in EDOC + overall the French version to match

fix the bugs of TRNT + find a way to add the missing pieces (mayyyybe translate into French?)

fix the formatting of DOL-OS + translate into English ✅

update LPM with the missing content + translate into English ✅ (ongoing)

The rest of the To-Do pile:

Finish The Rye in the Dark City (and maybe translate?)

Finish P-Rix - Space Trucker (and try to translate)

Finish Exquisite Cadaver (translation unlikely, current gameplay too complex to port for French)

Add a chapter to CRWL + fix/reopen the blog

Re-working TTTT to its originally planned state (lol, not likety)

Re-working SPS Iron Hammer (samesies)

Coding TTATEH (MelS dependent - shooting for end of year)

Emptying my inboxes

(I am pretty sure the focus for the rest of the year will be to finish the first list. With the addition of a few more small jam entries.)

And that about covers it!

[aselfking123]

Beauty

The stab to my gut I felt the first time I saw one of them is... Indescribable. They didn't look like I expected them to, from their descriptions on the news. They were different in a way I can't put into words.

No one's really sure where the first one was sighted, because that's just how things go most of the time. Issues are overlooked--either intentionally or not--and sometimes they fix themselves, but other times, they just get worse with more room to grow. So, the first images hit the internet in a flurry, a collage of nightmares from people who had nothing to gain from lying.

Unfortunately, as is well known, the internet isn't always the most reputable place. Sure, there're plenty of resources to be exploited, a treasure trove of information coalesced in a way unlike any other time in the history of humanity. But its fatal flaw, the thing that makes it inherently untrustworthy, is that it's both run and populated by people.

Let's face it; people like to lie for flak. They pose fake incidents to gain global traction, or to play a mean-spirited prank on their fans, or simply to live on in infamy for as long as the Internet lasts. In the modern age, most people are so starved for attention that they'll to anything to be known.

So, when news started spreading about random assaults and cannibalism, when videos rolled across people's FYPs of individuals who'd evidently lost their minds, everyone rolled their eyes, myself included. There were two face-eating guys in Florida alone that year. Some lunatic so gonked out of his mind on bath salts he can no longer remember his name, or dealing with some rare, untreated mental illness that made him believe he was a wolf was nothing new.

There was probably some shady government business in the background looking into the events, trying to see if it was a legitimate public health concern, but no news came for months. So as pictures surfaced and social media platforms began to block accounts uploading content concerning the events, most people forgot.

Until it became real.

Until I watched the world come crashing down around me, hellish hands of flame devouring the land, and people turned to... To whatever those things were.

The problem had gotten so big, because no one thought it was real, that it seemed there was no longer any control to be had. Soon, the entire west coast of the US was swallowed under hordes of frothing, maddened cannibals.

There was still hope at this point, as the military established a barrier along the eastern coasts of Washington, Oregon and California, effectively stopping the spread of... Whatever this was. Those of us who'd survived the initial havoc travelled east, expecting to be greeted with open arms and brought to safety.

What we got instead was gunfire. Even though we raised our arms, even though we walked without that strange lurch the others had, even though we screamed when they fired on us, it didn't seem that any of that mattered to them.

I was the only one who walked away.

Maybe we were some kind of health hazard, like we were carriers of a virus or something that they didn't want to get out. But regardless, they didn't want to help us.

Three months later, soldiers dropped from the sky and rounded those of us still left up. To them, we were no longer human. We were 'the ones west of the blockade' or sometimes 'the lucky ones.'

I wouldn't call our time spent in those facilities particularly lucky.

Cold concrete walls, placid fluorescent lights, no windows, steel doors. We were in prison. They put us in prison. And the worst part is, they didn't even try to lie about it.

The first unarmed people were dressed in head-to-toe white PPE, with goggles, masks, blue rubber gloves. They rustled when they moved, attaching diodes and anodes to my skull, occasionally taking blood samples, checking my pupils' ability to dilate or my reflexes. It felt like daily visits to the doctor's office.

I only asked questions once. The faceless PPE people didn't even try to dance around my curiosity like they so often did to prevent undue panic before the world collapsed. They just stayed silent, unfeeling, devoted to their small tasks of collecting skin and hair samples, not meeting my eyes.

But soon, PPE changed to full biohazard suits, tubes stretching from the doorways, now armed with the rushing whir of decontamination machinery, attached to the backs of the suits to provide clean air to breathe. I felt like I was on an alien spaceship, and they didn't care to learn my language or culture, only how my heart ticked so they could more effectively kill.

It was about then that the screaming started. Throughout the day, the night, and everything in between. Somehow, the brief silences between screams became more unsettling, because I knew that eventually, it would be my turn to march into the operating room.

The faculty liked to talk as if I was incapable of comprehending what they said, regularly holding conversations between themselves via intercom when the hazmat people came to do tests. The word 'vivisection' came up more than I liked. So did 'possible immunity.'

Eventually, the day came when the fragile, tyrannical order collapsed. Setting up shop in the heart of the disaster zone probably wasn't the wisest decision in retrospect, but hindsight is 20/20. The facility was breached almost effortlessly, and when the power systems failed, the doors to all the cells popped open.

It's how I ended up huddled in a broom closet, shaking uncontrollably, the door locked and braced closed with a cheap plastic chair. The smell of spilled cleaning solution reminded me of a hospital. But the screams of the people on the other side of the door reminded me that this was the furthest thing from a hospital.

Before the facility, before I witnessed the massacre at the border, people whispered about how the sounds of the insane could drive someone crazy. I'd never understood what they meant, until I was trapped with no escape, with only the wails of hell to provide comfort.

But then, something strange happened. My heartbeat slowed; my breath stalled. The chaos on the other side of the door fell silent, and a voice landed on my ears.

Soft and matronly, it caressed my face, held me close and told me it was okay. Please come out. We don't want to hurt you. We just want to show you. You need to understand. You need to see.

I stared at the floor, at the nightmarish shadows cast under the door, once flailing, now still.

Hands shaking, I stood, and my hand touched the doorknob. I blinked, pulling it open.

A woman stood on the other side, skin sallow, shattered irises sunken into her eye sockets. She studied me, and though I immediately knew she was one of them, I was not afraid.

I wanted to hug her, to reach out and pull her close.

But her mouth opened before I could, and from deep in her gullet, came a wash of dark, red blood, pouring into my face, engulfing me completely.

My eyes which had shut purely out of instinct opened.

It was beautiful.

[condomglitter]

Where'd you disappear to?

hell.

But no, seriously, lmfao. I don't think we have the time, word-count, or space to go over all of it -- so maybe, like, key points? Below the read-more?

TL;DR, though, my life collapsed and I followed it. I'm back, though. Woo.

TRIGGER WARNING: stalking, assault, mental illness, divorce, eating disorder, abortion, sexual assault, abuse, uhhh... trauma.

in no specific order, but like... vaguely chronological, I guess

Got medicated for anxiety & depression

Left my abusive husband.

Moved in with friends

Phone got hacked. Pictures were taken. Pictures were uploaded online. Strangers have indeed seen my butthole. Lots.

Got some stalkers bc of said pictures. Discovered the hacker put a tracking virus in my phone! Started getting people taking pictures of me while I was minding my fucking business in public & posting them on a super fun forum where they TRACKED ME AROUND THE CITY.

Cops didn't help bc ACAB & of course they fucking wouldn't. Sorry. "Can't". Useless.

Got an abortion bc I'd rather die than have my abuser's baby lmao

Started trying to officially divorce previously mentioned abusive husband. Dealing with a lawyer & everything that comes with it as he does his very best to be the biggest asshole on the planet about it.

Relapsed in & out of my ED over the course of the past two/three years. Doing much better now thanks to a strong support network though <3

Lost my jobs bc of pandemic closures. Got more jobs. Quit them bc I no longer tolerate being treated like replaceable garbage. Got fired from one, definitely not for requesting accommodations they swear.

Apartment flooded. Damage is, two years later, still not fixed. I am, as you can imagine, jazzed about this every day (sarcastic)

Got MORE medicated for anxiety & depression

Developed mysterious and chronic pains! Doctors still don't know what's wrong.

Stopped doing much drawing or writing bc I couldn't figure out how to do any of it without suffering lasting consequences due to said pains afterward.

Got professionally diagnosed with an alphabet's worth of disorders

Had several mental breakdowns, clawing rifts in my personal relationships & friendships that I may never repair as a result!

Ended up with 7 cats, somehow.

Also got two bunnies. Ill advised. Regrets are minimal.

Got even more meds for even more problems lmao I feel like the lady in grandma's boy having pills & syrup for breakfast

Got a really good job with our city that I love

Started playing D&D to scratch the rp itch

Crumbled & returned to tungle dot hell to see if I can scrape two years of dust off this shit & get back to business (chaos)

And that??? might be it?? I am so certain I'm missing things, not to mention I intentionally left out some more private details (IMAGINE WHAT THEY ARE IF THIS IS THE PUBLIC LIST. LMAO) but, yeah, that's the gist of it!

[ratontheline]

Another art rant😭

BRO I LITERALLY SHOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT AND ILL BE MAD ABOUT IT FOR A HOT MINUTE 😭 forever lost IDK HOW I DID IT BUT ITS NEVER COMING BACK😭

I actually am not really into the piece I recently made cuz I know what it could have been😭🤡

I mean the hand was fucked up but IT COOKED AND I KNOW IT DID but my lil brain was like “the hand is too shit I need to fix it… Oop her body kinda weird… o that weird too…” BEFORE I KNEW IT GONEEEEEE😭😭😭 I tried to get it back but FUCKKKKK😭😭😭😭

Aside from that the other concern was that it didn’t look like kiara enough and that kinda made me afraid, high chance to get my ass rocked by tagging it incorrectly 😭 but I did dm a clipper and they said it was fine👍 so we Gucci 🫶

I did save the original piece… maybe I’ll upload it sooner or later but the hand annoys me😭 either way it’s done and uploaded so no need to worry about it

[jooyeone]

Hi, just wanted to give my 5 cents about the teasing and about what's going on on Twitter because I'm mostly active there. I watched all four lives, kept up with the translations and also watched the pre-recorded one which they uploaded recently.

During the vlives that were actually live at one point the members started to talk about Jimin forgetting his words and apologising during his speech. The boys teased him quite a lot and while I absolutely don't think there was any malicious intent Jimin didn't really found it as funny as the others did, probably because he really beat himself up for it which showed in the pre-recorded live. (But I'll come to that one in a moment.)

At one point Yoongi then said that he thinks it wasn't the time to get emotional and that's when Jungkook told Yoongi no. (Jungkook didn't tease Jimin once in the actual vlives that were live.) Namjoon also said that they should leave it at that and Jungkook continued to say that they should comfort him instead of making fun of him to what Namjoon agreed.

After that the talk about Jimin's little slip up stopped, at least in the live vlives.

During the pre-recorded vlive they talked about it again but this time the members were way more supportive. Jimin explained himself and was definitely feeling very bad that he made that "mistake". He constantly implied that he failed to what the members, especially Namjoon and Jungkook, told him no he didn't. In that vlive Jungkook actually jokes about Jimin's little sorry too but you can immediately see the difference how Jimin felt about that joke. He laughed about it, Jungkook made Jimin laugh when he felt insecure.

I think between the actual lives and the pre-recorded one the members talked off screen about what happened in the lives before, so they tried to make up for it during the pre-recorded one. Again the boys definitely didn't mean to harm Jimin or insult him, I just think that for them the little slip up wasn't a big deal, so they thought it was ok to joke about it. It wasn't though which Jungkook made clear at one point and then they stopped.

To what is going on on Twitter. Well, certain shippers and solos use every opportunity to make it look like the members hate Jimin. It's nothing new sadly. That has been going on for a while but this year it got way worse. It's also because a big part of this fandom just let people do it. They don't care. Maybe because they agree or because for them it's a petty ship war when it's not. People posted death threats on Weverse and this fandom just ignored it mostly. So yeah, there's a big, big problem.

hey bubs! let me just thank you for clearing this up for me, i was honestly very confused for a good portion of the day about how many lives they'd done and why the version i saw on vlive when i woke up seemed pre-recorded/edited, and okay this makes sense now! (so if i understand this correctly, the video that is up right now on vlive is the pre-recorded video you're describing here, right? i'll have to come back to it later when the subs are up so i can find the moment and watch it for myself too 🤗)

the idea that they've talked about it off screen in between the live and the pre-recorded video makes a lot of sense, especially if there's this significant difference in how they approach the subject in the new video! it's absurd to imagine there was genuinely any ill intent behind their original reactions. like i said before, sometimes you just aren't as aware of the effects your words/actions might have on someone sitting right next to you, no matter how obvious it seems in hindsight. it doesn't mean you're trying to make them feel bad. it just means there's differences in perception that should be/should have been communicated better, but that's something that can be, and hopefully was, fixed amongst themselves. from what you're describing and from what i saw in that clip as well, i'm very glad jungkook noticed it and intervened, gently but firmly enough so that they'd move on from the subject.

as for the twitter side of things... some parts of this fandom are truly best not to touch with a ten-foot pole. this isn't necessarily comparable, but i'm being reminded of a big part of this fandom's reaction to jungkook and taehyung having that talk during in the soop last year. if they could take something as heartfelt as that and turn it into a ship war/solo stans war, what's come out of this clip shouldn't surprise me.

[tottymatsuno]

In The Peach Pit; Saw You Fake It (Osomatsu-San: Todomatsu x Reader)

Chapter 4: Who's Kids Are These?!

Alt Title: You got games on your phone?

Author: Roro (tottytown)

Fandom: Osomatsu-san

Pairing: Todomatsu x reader

Category: Romance, technically exes? enemies to friends to lovers, coworkers, fake dating, tsundere Todomatsu, eventual bedsharing, eventual fake strangers

Rating: PG-13 (cussin)

Summary: You and Totty establish your parenting dynamic right off the ba t with a bunch of lost children.

Word count: 5800/prob 50 or 60k unedited and segmented away

Warnings: Todomatsu is still mentally ill LOL. Also sorry if u dont like or want kids i am a father who loves children so my y/n's usually do too. sorry.

commentary: trying a new opening format by leaving a lil bit of text. hope ppl like it lol. if somebody can tell me how can i upload fics w/o having to fix the automatic double space id be so grateful bc rn im spending an hour just fixing that. thank u. i refuse to use tumblr as a fic editor thank u.

Hope has failed. Ryo did have another evaluation, they determined she needed to be demoted for retraining purposes that included not only her hourly wages being sliced nearly in half but also her shifts throttled. Their reasoning for such a judgment was she didn't make customers feel welcomed enough despite being beloved by regulars. She also didn't take care of scheduling for the second shift well enough despite that never being her job because she’s the manager of the first shift. “Why are we paying you to only manage yourself and one other person? Can’t you take a pay cut?”

It was bullshit!!

A few shifts later has you and Matsuno trading stink eyes at the new managers during the morning meeting. When everyone files out of the staff room, you signal Matsuno to stay with a nod.

"Can you believe this bs?!" You harshly whisper to Matsuno after the room is empty. You forced yourself to get along with Matsuno for Ryo’s sake but now he’s the only one who will understand your plight since he spent the most time with her.

How is Ryo, the sweetest angel possible going to handle this?! She won’t lose faith in the goodness of humanity, will she?

"Yeah, I know! What the hell, why would they fire Ryoko-san?!" Matsuno whisper-yells back.

"They're trying to kill morale by getting rid of everyone we know and love so we can be the perfect capitalist workerbees!" You glare at the pamphlets for the new company motto. “That means you’ll be the only one left, Matsuno...”

"We can't let them get away with this! Why fire Ryoko-san but leave something like you on staff?" Matsuno goes as far as to rip one up and shove it's pieces in his apron muttering the second sentence underneath his breath.

"What would we even do though?" You wonder aloud, you actually really like the convenience of this job being in walking distance from home. "I don't wanna quit in protest, but I’m not charismatic enough to lead a strike either..."

"Maybe we can use these new rules to our advantage?" Matsuno suggests with a pointed look towards the previously ignored employee handbook. "There's sure to be rules in here that would be hellish to actually follow on a day to day basis but they couldn't fire us for doing what it says to the letter."

You look at Matsuno with a sinister leer, "Matsuno, I knew I could trust you to come up with an annoyingly evil scheme. What you lack in earnest charm you definitely make up in malice."

You ignore whatever the hell Matsuno said in retaliation while shooting Ryo an apologetic line message. She responds with a boatload of crying stickers and vents through a barrage of incoming emotional texts.

"Ryo...!" You sniffle in support, "Oh, Ryo! I didn't know your favorite candy line was being ended too, plus your boyfriend ate your good leftovers?! On your period as if to rub salt in your open wounds?" You rubbed your tearful eyes while reading these text messages. Maybe it’s because you know she’s so kind and was there for you in your hour of need but you really want to be a pillar for Ryo.

You send a few texts opening your heart to Ryo as well, but you make sure to let her know that you 100% love and cherish your her as your friend. You finally tell her you'll talk later after planning a friendship date outside of work. You're happy that Ryo is going to transition into a friend-friend instead of work-friend!

While being caught up in the emotional roller-coaster you don't stop for a second to see if Matsuno is still around. So it's shocking to hear him ask, "You done?" with a glance of eye contact between you and his phone. "Gimme a sec, I didn't think you'd finish crying for a while." You take a mental snapshot of Matsuno's casual posture, it's a very good image of his slightly disinterested look while leveraging half of his weight with one hand placed on a table. Like maybe a sexy librarian or professor giving a lecture? You don't know, but it's a neat pose.

"Click." You say out loud. "That one's going in the cringe comp." Memes irl can be funny sometimes, but this one is directed at your own thoughts instead of being an insult.

"What do you mean cringe comp?! I should be saying that about you!" There's Matsuno's claws. How catty. Matsuno shoves his phone into his apron before stomping off.

Well now that you think about it you really need to start work today. Everyone came in about an hour and a half earlier than usual to prep for another large event. This one is for a new but promising shounen title by that one guy who was an assistant for that other super popular dude's series. You really don't know but you'll still sell it with a smile.

In fact one of your favorite aspects of working at this bookstore is having to add little series related flares to your uniform. All the women got cute flower petal bunny ears, but the dudes are supposed to wear these really cool but extremely cheaply made neon yellow wind breakers with an intricate rose pattern and an original emblem on the breast and back.

You were jealous of the wind breaker to say the least.

In your spare time you skim the new handbook; there's a lots of rules that either conflict or as Matsuno said would be hellish to follow on a daily basis. It's clear that whoever wrote these down has never worked in a bookstore before, or even HR. Hell, some of these rules read as if they were made up arbitrarily by someone who has actually never worked a day in his life and is trying to fake sounding like he has getting by on what he kinda knows. It's pathetic.

So it's time to be obnoxiously compliant with these dumbass rules!

Every time a new manager tries to wrangle you into actually participating in preparation for this vastly busy event you remind them of daily duties that must 100% get taken care of. Who is going to call the people with back orders before 11 am if not you? Or who will do five rounds of putting misplaced books back up at least once an hour?

"Excuse me..." A little voice calls out from below when you're on round four in the cook book section. Do your ears deceive you, or is that a talking infant?

When you look down your suspicions are confirmed. "Ah, yes sir?" You ask with a few books in arm. Babies love to be treated like grown ups you've found. You’re already smiling, look at those fat cheeks. You need to give this child a free book, he looks like a The Very Hungry Catepillar sort.

"I need to go." Go?

"Home or potty?" The child starts tearing up, "Both! My mommy is lost and I need to find her after I pee! She's scared somewhere without me." You nod in sympathy, he can’t find his Mommy if he has to take a whiz.

"Okay, let's go potty first then find your mommy. I'm sure she's terrified here all by herself without you to protect her." You carefully place the stack to be dealt with later.

Right when you take the small boy's hand you hear a loud wail of another larva nearby.

"A little kid's in trouble!" You hear the tiny boy exclaim before leading him to the clearing where there stands an even smaller baby girl with one of the event balloons and bunny ears. She's trying to call out for her older sister but can't get the words out.

"Oh... Little miss, are you okay?" You ask with a slight headache forming but you have infinite patience for this kinda stressful situation. Kids are cute. You can handle this!

Your maternal instincts kick into full gear with the children in tow but after finding the 8th child lost around the boring adult sections and nowhere near the fun child friendly event on the first floor you're ready to curse some guardians out.

Who’s losing all these little kittens all over the place? Why was this one in the DIY section?!

When you finally manage to grab the 9th lost child and make it down the escalator without anyone tripping, while holding two of the tiniest ones in your arms you feel totally done for the day. Ah, there's the 10th. You manage to find the little girl's older sister who is barely any older!

"If you're lost follow me." You call while at a dragging pace with a gaggle of kids from all ages. A few of them hold hands in a baby daisy chain. There's even a twelve year old who claims he just needed to go to the bathroom but you know he’s either probably lost too or is trying to help in his own way.

So with an elementary school in tow you only have one choice which is to bother the person you know is on break. Everyone loves kids, so this might get the stick outta Matsuno's ass for once. A pitched scream scares the shit outta you for a split second and rattles your ear drums.

“C’mon now, if you’re gonna yell don’t do it so loud. There’s old people around who’s head’s will knock clean off from you breaking the sound barrier.”

Kids can be loud, huh. When you approach the cafe while the baby's take turns pulling on your hair or trying to eat it seeing Matsuno head towards the break room is a godsend.

"The potty's around that corner, Taka-kun take the boys who need to go." You direct to the twelve year old with your foot.

"I don't wanna though!" Alright.

"Eh... Wha...what's going on here? What's with all the kids?" Matsuno finally picks his jaw off the floor when you start bribing Taka-kun with the promise of a limited edition fan edition mystery box for whatever the hell MagiDigi Chronicals is.

"You drive a hard bargain, but sure you can get a cookie too." You sigh when Taka-kun goes "and a coffee!"

"Decaf only but now go!!" You gently kick after Taka-kun so tiny Nao-chan can go pee, the poor baby was just about to start the potty dance for heaven's sake. Taka-kun finally takes the other three boys around the corner. "If you make a mess the deals off!" You call out.

Matsuno is trying to also prevent the damage done by these kids but unfortunately most of them are under the age of five. "Hey wait a second! You have to pay for those!" Matsuno calls out as one of the smaller ones opens a bag of chips. Of course the other little grubby hands with no concept of money or theft join in.

"Can you do something about this -!?" Matsuno shrilly asks. You've got a handful because the two babies have now begun to alternate between pulling your hair and trying to bite your cheeks. "Please stop, I know you're not teething anymore." Too little!! You know they aren't teething anymore because when they pull your ears they try to bite them you feel teeth. It hurts like hell but goodness are these gross little demons too much!

"Why are you even still smiling?! Don't tell me you find this cute?"

You tilt your head away from the biting baby right into the blubbering cheek of the other one trying to gurgle words. "Noo, of course not." You lie. Babies are super disgusting but are incredibly cute. These two can barely waddle, how the hell did they get lost?! Shouldn't they be in a rollers?

If your upper body wasn't so used to carrying shit you could see how these less than 14 month olds could escape easily. The babies are barely walking, let alone running. Well maybe not. Their little strong legs are having so much fun kicking you in the ribs since they really want to be put down. There's the beginnings of whining too. They might need their diapers changed but your store doesn’t carry any.

"Aw... Haha, no my little ones. Let's not get fussy please, if you get fuss-fuss I'm gonna eat your lil fingies." You make one of those gentle chomping gestures back and forth to the now giggling and adorable maggots. "Yummy yummy, I love baby toes!"

You look up with a grin to see Matsuno glaring at you with the foulest look of disgust. It nearly knocks the wind outta you.

"Anyways go call their parents, I'll stay here." Get out, asshole. You're killing the vibe here. You're about to start kissing these little ones and you will not be judged for it. A few of the other children grab your attention to let you know they're hungry.

Matsuno sighs deeply before turning to dial the front office. "Everyone gets a little piece of a cookie! Understand?" You announce to the remaining kids. There's a small chorus of affirmation. How cute you think blissfully.

"It's too early to have a whole cookie, the sugar will make your gross lil tummies ache. You don't want a tummy ache, right?"

"But I can eat a whole cookie!" Says an older girl. "Me too!!" Joins another.

"Those cookies are too big even I can't eat a whole one because they're made for people with giant iron stomachs, but you both can have half of one, okay? A whole cookie at your size will melt your guts through your ear holes." You're more worried about how hyper these kids already are, as much as you hate their parents for losing them you can't in good conscience release them hyped up on sugar.

Both Taka-kun and Matsuno return at the same time. "Serve them snacks, Matsuno." The way you disdainfully regard Matsuno versus the children almost gives the babies whiplash.

"Why should I? Also who's going to pay for it?"

What an asshole. "Because they have been so well behaved." You answer while the children agree and whisper that you really are as nice as you seem.

"In what universe?! Besides we can't give this much away for free!" Matsuno protests.

"I'll pay. Feed the angels or else." Your threat seems to work in your popularity's favor. There's what sounds like a few high pitched cackling and your demon hoard of small children smile at Matsuno as menacingly as their cute little faces can conjure. So adorable!! You should become a gang leader!

After every had an age appropriate sized cup of juice, a small portion of a cookie or cupcake and were seemingly satisfied save for Taka-kun who smugly sipped a decaf iced coffee with a whole cookie to himself the guardians all finally gathered to pick up their children.

The grandparents of one of the babies came to grab her first which is not nice. You’re not ready yet! You couldn't help but defensively turn away despite the baby cooing happily at her grandma with reaching hands. The baby even gets out the words 'hi gramma' it's too cute, you won't hand her over!

"Y/n, give the baby back." Matsuno tells you clearly exasperated. "I was going to, shut up." While you're distracted the other baby is plucked from your arms. You swivel to see who betrayed you. It's a very young looking couple smothering the baby boy's fat little cheeks. The baby girl is also taken from you during this moment of hurt.

"Ah, thank you so much!" The grandmother gives you a knowing look. "You seem to be fond of kids."

“Yeah, babies are so gross and ugly.” You tell her with a huge grin. You love them.

"You should have your own before it's too late."

"Haha, no. Yuck." You laugh a bit awkwardly, "I'm not ready for that yet." You don't know how you'd handle the parasite phase of the infant's unborn life, let alone the blowouts and spittle period. Around a year old is when they reach their minimum level of being tolerable.

"I see." The grandma smiles at you while the baby waves bye bye.

There's a lot of commotion with some parents scolding or crying since their poor baby got lost at an event that was supposed to be fun! Management offers them deals on future purchases for their troubles and promise the event will be organized better despite this really not being the store's fault. The event was supposed to just be starting but all of these kids got lost on the second floor before it even began.

There's a few smiling waves from the kids, a couple shouts of bye but some of them are too distracted by their parents to say anything to you. You stand there with a dumb smile while waving back. Most of them are going to the event so that's fun.

"Taka-kun, that guy can get you the mystery box." You point out the stout manager who's name you don't remember. "Thanks, see you then." Taka-kun leaves to pester that tubby bald guy.

A moment of peace. Just one. That's all you're allowed before Matsuno tugs on your already abused ear. "Ew, why's it wet?!"

"They were at that shark age of babyhood." You say fondly. Matsuno rudely untucks your shirt to wipe his fingers on it. "I literally have no clue what that's supposed to mean." To be honest you don't even notice your shirt.

"Too young to speak so they have to communicate and learn with their small mouths. Basically they like to bite like how sharks do."

Matsuno sighs before turning to the mess that is now the cafe. "So two things are about to happen here." He says harshly.

"They were all so liiittle." You mumble not really in response. "So itty bitty, just absolutely pocket sized. I should have eaten one for dinner."

"Shut up weirdo and listen! First of all you're going to pay for those snacks, and then you're gonna help me clean this shit up before people start coming from that stupid event."

"Alright, thanks for going easy on me." You do a small salute. After paying for the eight cookies, the five bottles of juice, a couple bags of chips and one decaf coffee your wallet is a little lighter but it's okay! The smiles of sweet baby demonspawn are priceless to you.

Each time Matsuno punched in a button on the register he smacked his lips at you in annoyance.

It isn't until you're handed a broom that Matsuno finally tells you how upset he actually is. "I like kids too, but you really fucked me over with bringing them here." He half whines-half grumbles.

"Couldn't you have taken them straight to the office or something? This was my valuable break time!" Matsuno does sound very sympathetic right now as he scrubs off the dried juice from the tables.

"Some of them needed to pee." You say simply while dusting up the many spilled chips.

"There's a bathroom by the customer service area, it's like you just wanted to ruin my day!"

You think for a moment before attempting reply again. "You think so?" You guess you could see it that way, but kids are so cute.

"Why else would you bring a million brats into here when I was supposed to take my break?!" Matsuno begins to pick up the cups and bottles of juice along with the stray cookie stained napkins that littered the floor.

Hmmm. You had a reason but now it feels silly to say out loud. "I guess I thought you might wanna help them with me? I thought you might like seeing them. Plus I really wanted someone else to see how cute and polite they were. They were soo well behaved, weren't they?"

Matsuno sighs when you are finally done sweeping and switch to mopping the sticky floors. "You must really like kids."

You mod dreamily, "One of my life goals is to be a wicked stepmother. Cinderella style."

"Give that up then." Matsuno spits out rudely. "You'll spoil her until she's ugly inside and out."

You gasp, "No I wouldn't! I would be a great evil stepmom!" You have a plan and system you'd follow.

"Yeah? I just saw otherwise. You have no backbone when it comes to cute stuff at all. In fact you're all talk and no action." Matsuno is so rude.

"Okay, well that's just not true. I have a lotta evil schemes to ruin my step kids lives." Matsuno snorts at your confidence.

"Like what?"

Like what?! "I'm gonna bite them!" You say triumphantly, "Yeah while they're babies. Gonna yum-yum on their widdle toes or whatever. Gross." Matsuno instantly sees through you.

"I'll call them embarrassing nicknames and tease them in front of their friends."

"Like what, baby? Cutie pie? That's just being affectionate." You glare at him.

"Well, I'll hold their hand when crossing the street even though they can do it by themselves!" Matsuno sighs.

"That's being affectionate and responsible."

"I'll pack their lunch with a bunch of vegetables and only ONE snack."

"With a note saying how much you love them, too? Once again just affectionate and responsible."

You are losing this battle quickly. "I'll hug them everyday!"

"Are you giving up? That's just being a loving mother!"

"And kiss their cheeks too." You add, grumbling. "And we can go out to lunch at the park on weekends, and I can help them with their homework and we can do chores around the house together and if they're very good I'll get them a puppy."

"Those are all just being a loving mother, dumbass! Where's the wicked part supposed to come from?!" Matsuno shouts and you feel just an iota of silly.

"My household rules will be strict. An allowance should be earned by doing chores and not just freely given." This makes Matsuno flinch.

"Th... That actually is evil. Don't do that. Kids need money too, they shouldn't have to earn it."

Aha!

"And they should help cook dinners when they're old enough! I want my kids to take over the gross chores when I get older so I won't have to anymore. Like taking out the trash and scrubbing the toilet. After age twelve I never want to wash a dish again in my life."

Watching Matsuno recoil from you like the first time you met is very satisfying.

"That's going too far! Being a kid is stressful enough without having to do housework too. Think of the kids, they have their own lives too live!"

You blink at him, "Someone has to do it though. You don't have your mom still cleaning up after you at this age so why shouldn't you start teaching them when they're kids?"

Studying Matsuno's face changing when you said his mother doesn't clean up after him anymore is a struggle. "You don't still... Do you?" You ask with disgust.

"Hahaha! My break is over, let's finish this conversation later! You still have a while before yours right? I’ll make you a latte on the house! So yeah, see you then." Matsuno all but physically boots you out of the cafe.

You kinda take it easy despite the event. Your bunny ears have long been knocked off by babies, and you still wanna wear the windbreaker. Matsuno's looked really cool up close too.

For a brief second you and Matsuno were publicly thanked in front of the crowd for rounding up the many lost kids. After that you went on to follow more of the stupid rules to an obnoxious point. Then you were on the register pretty much until the end of the day.

You wanted to eat and take your break, but it seems like the kids who stayed all wanted to be checked out in your line. Lots of babbling of summaries from the event even though most of it is too nonsensical to follow. You animatedly try to keep up as their guardians thank you for your patience. After they were served, the lines became full of adults and older teens who bought a buncha limited edition merch.

It's always a bit awkward having to listen to guys info dump about a new series for the first time, but thankfully it comes in handy after hearing the same information over and over. It makes the discussions you are mandated to partake in go by faster as you check them out. It's also fun when housewives come in and do the same thing because you get to see which hotties are getting popular.

At the end of the shift you're called into the staff room where Matsuno is also waiting. Matsuno has a strangely fake smile but his eyes are aggressively staring down the new store manager.

"Ah! There you are, zansu. Me was just telling Osomatsu-kun how thankful Akatsuka Reads is for your help finding the brats - me means precious angels during today's event, zansu." This guy has a funny voice. He's a real character. Big overbite too.

"I'm Todomatsu." Matsuno corrects with an even darker glare.

"It doesn't matter, you're all the same." The manager says. Huh. Wonder what that means.

"So anyways, me was thinking of a way to thank you both! How about a coupon for free oden, zansu?" Right as you were taking your coupon, Matsuno starts shouting.

"Why would I want that, Iyami?! I can eat at Chibita's any time!"

"Can't you be more professional like her, Osomatsu?" Iyami tch's disparagingly at Matsuno.

"Yeah, be grateful." You add in teasingly with a playful grin. "Osomaru?" You look back up at Iyami who nods that you got it close enough.

"Osotaro." You repeat even more incorrectly than before with a fun impish smirk.

"I'm Todomatsu - also you don't get to join in! You don't even know this guy so take my side!"

"Where's the stall located at?" You ignore Matsuno to look at the handwritten coupon, it expires very quickly and only includes one serving of oden and no drinks.

"Me can show you after this, zansu." The way Iyami offers that creeps you out thoroughly. He even tries to get in your personal space which isn't a good thing. After stepping back around fifty feet you look over at Matsuno with a look that might not outrightly beg for assistance but hopefully he understands from the amount of time you've worked together.

Matsuno glares at you before nodding. "Alright, I'll go too."

"You're not invited, zansu." Iyami starts shooing Matsuno off.

"Oh, that's too bad then. Matsuno and I had agreed to get food after this since we both missed our breaks. Let's go, Matsuno." Yes, the perfect out! You lie amazingly convincing, so now your weird manager doesn't know you're avoiding going out with him. Matsuno childishly sticks his tongue out at Iyami as you walk away. He even tries to grab your arm for a second to make Iyami jealous but you hip bump nearly to the floor.

You grab your shit from your locker while Matsuno does the same. You both exchange looks before exiting the store.

When you break into a jog you hear Matsuno scream wait behind you which causes you to stop in your tracks.

"That wasn't a we make a run for it look, that was a play it cool look!! Jeeze, it's like you don't know anything!" Matsuno shouts while running to catch up. "Why are you so fast anyways?! Shouldn't you be training for the Olympics?"

"Ah, sorry Matsuno. I'm not fluent in telepathy yet." You're a bit distracted by how fucking cool that cheap piece of shit windbreaker looks in natural lighting.

When Matsuno catches back up he notices you staring him down. "Ugh, gross. Stop staring at my body." He even attempts to cover himself up.

"I wasn't, I just really want that." You could beat him up for it. You bet he's the type who might not actually call the police if you bully him.

"Want what?!"

"Your jacket." When you say this, Matsuno looks down at the windbreaker. "Oh, this? Yeah, here take it. This is more Jyushimatsu-niisan's style anyways. I would've preferred it in pink."

Your eyes sparkle, "You mean it?"

"Yeah, I only wore it at work. It's really badly made so don't expect it to last." Matsuno takes off the jacket and hands it to you. You're a bit suspicious because it's probably gonna give you a headache knowing how Matsuno drenches himself in perfume.

You sniff it just to be sure which causes Matsuno to scream." Wh-what are you doing?! Why are you smelling it?!"

You keep rotating it around to examine if there's any offensive odors or alcohol scents. Instead there's the smell of cheap plastic fabric and a light baby powder like freshness to it. This won't give you a headache. You smile before putting it on.

"Uggh... That was so weird... What's wrong with you...?" Matsuno's shivering like he's really creeped out by your actions.

"Y'know I thought it was because I went noseblind to your foul stench, but you don't stink anymore. You actually smell good now, great job." You give him a thumbs up of approval.

Something about your words makes Matsuno's cheeks light up. "Hehe, you think? I changed to Powdered Daydream by - wait! I mean of course I don't stink! I've never smelled bad to begin with!"

You wait for Matsuno to finish, "So what now?" Because you are hungry. Like super hungry. "I'm going home." Matsuno says defiantly.

"Okay, cool." You unfortunately have to still drop off Matsuno. A few weeks back you realized if you left him by himself to get home Matsuno would get hopelessly lost around the third street turn. He doesn't even have your line or number so he just yelled at you that he could've died the next day. You get the feeling he's the type of person who in high school would get lost on a route he went on twice a day for all three years if he weren't holding someone's hand. A child basically.

This is awkward, you think walking super slowly so Matsuno could keep up. He's still pouting which is normal but usually there would be at least something to argue about.

There's gotta be something to talk about at the very least, right? You think back to work today, there has to be something to go over but a lot happened and you don't really know where to start. You kinda wish you could have seen Daisuke today but he was pretty much hosting the entire event.

"So about work?" You start off, please have a jumping off point. Matsuno, please understand you can't stand weird dead air.

"I can't believe our new managers! Did you know that from now on I literally have to - with each drink, mind you try to get the customers to sign up for a rewards card? It doesn't even offer actual rewards by the way! You get nothing for having it other than a keychain! Imagine having to explain all fucking day, 'no you don't get a free coffee or any discounts. The reward is us selling your data and this shitty clearly cheaply mass produced keychain. Enjoy.' with a smile?! I want to kill myself every time!"

Matsuno's animated rant makes you laugh a little. "Dude that sucks. My new thing is I'm not supposed to give out discounts or accept returns without another guy's code. Then they get upset at me for not having said code and making him come over. Also I'm apparently underselling the books worth by taking the discounts they put out online in the newsletter?"

Matsuno glares straight ahead,"You should start pretending that the register is malfunctioning and let code guy do cashiering for you. Or say you don't know how."

"I don't think that'd work. Also remember this landmark." You say pointing at a recycling bin.

"What landmark?" Matsuno asks. "That one." You wiggle your finger, "The blue thingy."

"The recycling?" You nod.

"That one is always overfilled so if you see it you know you only have to take a left at the second block over and then walk til you see the fat cat sticker on the car bumper. After the fat cat you go straight til you see the wind chimes and then you're at the station."

Matsuno stares at you slackjawed. "What?"

"Those the directions to get to F station. Don't worry, I'll point them out as we go so you can remember them later." Your contacts are a bit itchy, plus you kinda wanted that oden but you won't chance running into Iyami. You'll drop Matsuno off then eat.

"Uh. Okay, thanks?"

Oh yeah, Matsuno seemed very familiar with that guy. You should be nosy and ask about it.

"So you must know Iyami pretty well outside of work?"

Matsuno grits his teeth, "Don't ask me that."

You won't press then.

"He's a shitty hobo bum who's always trying to ruin my life! It's a tie between him and my bastard older brothers who make life a living hell everyday! It's like I'll never obtain happiness being associated with such vile monsters but I just can't escape them either! Everywhere I go one of them finds me and fucks everything up."

So even though you did not press further here you are three minutes deep into a vent session. You kinda didn't sign up for this rant. "That sucks." You say again, maybe you'll hit him with another damn that's crazy next.

"It does suck!! Iyami got us hired at a sweatshop and it was the worst experience of my life!"

"Damn, that's crazy." You have no clue what the fuck Matsuno is talking about. "How many brothers do you have anyways?" Let's just be polite.

"Five! Five horrible older brothers! Well, actually four since Jyushimatsu-niisan is usually decent. The other ones are all garbage!"

You nod in agreement, "Yeah I'm sure they're the worst." When you say this Matsuno looks at you with stars in his eyes, "You agree?!"

"Yeah, I mean if someone as awful as you thinks these guys are bad they must be intolerable for normal people."

The stars burn out one by one. You wonder why since you tried to make it obvious that you were joking.

"Was that too dry of delivery?" You ask.

You get the silent treatment the rest of the walk to the station with Matsuno ignoring your landmarks. He doesn't look up from his phone again until he's out of sight.

[danidoesathing]

ok! i’ve got the beginning and end written, it’s the middle that i need to write still, and it’s disgustingly sweet (i’ll post it to ao3 when i’ve got it finished bc i refuse to upload an unfinished work). also lemme know if you wanna read the ending as well, i wasn’t sure (it, too, is fluffy to hell and back)

Chapter 1:

Tim hated this. He hated it all. He’d rather be anywhere else in the world if he could, he could’ve been at home in his room with his laptop and Jay to talk to, but instead he was here with his mom who thought that she had any right to his life after leaving it for good (when he was twelve years old in a mental hospital too, who did that to their child?) and apparently forgot why she did, since she wouldn’t shut up. He’d had enough by the third hour of the “vacation” she took him to, and maybe if he hadn’t hated pity as much as he did, especially from the one that caused him to be pitied, he would have enjoyed the five-star hotel stay more, rather than feel like he was stuck in one long panic attack. He had managed to get away, though. He excused himself to the bathroom and felt grateful she had allowed him that much. He didn’t pay too much attention to the walk to the bathroom - he was trying to breathe in and out regularly and count to ten and pay attention to what he felt and all the other coping methods they taught him in the ten years he spent in the psych ward. He only realized there was someone else in the bathroom when the person (Tim assumed they were male, this was the men’s bathroom) sighed and firmly said, “I need more time, you can’t just ruin my entire life to gain a few weeks.” 

Brian had really been looking forward to the week he’d spend on his own - privacy and being alone weren’t really concepts that his family understood, and it had only gotten worse when the marriage proposal came. He’d tried to explain countless times that he was gay and that he would rather marry a frog than the fake, manipulative, entitled, rude, homophobic, racist, bitchy, but most importantly rich girl his parents had chosen for him to marry. As if he’d spend more than a minute within a five-mile radius of the piece of shit who wanted his money and his name, nothing else. When the call from his mother (Brian had stopped calling Carol Thomas his mom years ago, when she first started denying his issues and instead punished him for things he couldn’t control) came, he escaped to the bathroom since it was closer than his room, even though it was a lot less private. He didn’t think anything would go wrong, it wasn’t busy at the restaurant and even if someone entered, they would probably leave him alone to suffer in his misery. 

Brian hadn’t noticed the tired man who slunk into the bathroom at first, but when he saw the defeated slump of his shoulders and how utterly exhausted his eyes looked, his mother demanded that he come home the next day. He was pretty sure that everyone within the state could hear his sigh, and he thought about how he had gotten so sick of his own family that this was the case with every conversation he had with them. After his final compromise, he hung up without saying goodbye or waiting for Carol to respond. He knew what she would have said anyway, was far too familiar with the same conversation.

Tim hesitated, trying to figure out what to do - he couldn’t just leave and pretend he’d heard nothing, but he didn’t know this man, like, at all, so he also couldn’t try to comfort him or ask him what was wrong, because something clearly was. 

“Family problems,” Brian said into the silence, which was probably just a few seconds long but to Tim’s anxiety-ridden mind it was a lifetime of waiting. 

Tim smiled slightly. “I’m familiar.” 

Brian made an interested noise.  “You tell me about your life, and I tell you ‘bout mine, alright?” 

He understood what sort of deal this was, he was used to therapists and doctors and psychiatrists trying to take his brain apart and figure out what was wrong with him, to try to fix him (or that’s what they said, but he wasn’t sure there weren’t any other reasons behind their words). He despised being treated like a wild animal who could lose his mind and attack at any moment, with a single wrong move. They had treated him like he was dangerous and they pitied him for it, but Brian, he hadn’t looked scared of Tim. He hadn’t acted like he was trying to play it safe - rather, he had tried to make Tim feel comfortable by making himself as vulnerable as Tim was. He realized that he didn’t want to strangle Brian. I’ve spent so much time with psychologists that I’ve started acting like one, analyzing everything and everyone’s actions. Tim laughed internally at the thought. 

“Sure. I don’t have anything else to do anyway,” He responded, and told Brian about his current predicament with his mother, leaving out the parts in which he was at the hospital - he just said that he had a chronic illness and his mom had left him at 12 when he had been in the hospital for four years. 

“Shit, dude, that really sucks. She doesn’t have any right to your life now, you know that right?” Brian said at the end of Tim’s story, after a short pause to take it all in. “I’m going to sound like a whiny white asshole with my story now,” he added. Tim shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. After all, my life doesn’t invalidate yours,” he said, and the corners of Brian’s mouth twitched up. “I guess you’re right,” he said, and started explaining how his parents wanted him to marry a rich woman high up the ladder of status in the elite community he was born into, and Tim could feel himself tensing up and his mind starting to buzz. 

Brian noticed that the man in front of him was looking a little off, and stopped midway through describing that he only had the next week or so to find his soulmate, otherwise he’d be stuck with someone he hated for the rest of his life. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked softly, and the other man (Brian only just realized that he knew this man’s life story but not his name, and mentally reprimanded himself for not introducing himself and asking his name) took a shuddering breath. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, and Brian didn’t call him out on his bullshit. “Please continue, I’m way too invested in your life now.” He smiled, and Brian laughed. 

“Alright, but first, you have to tell me your name because I’ve realized we haven’t introduced ourselves and it’s killing me,” Brian said.

“My name’s Tim Wright.”

“Brian Thomas. Nice to meet you, I guess,” Tim rolled his eyes at Brian’s antics, but Brian knew he was amused, as evidenced by Tim’s light snort. Tim told him to get on with the story, (a bit like a whining child, but in a good way, Brian thought) and he responded with, “Okay, okay, I’ll get to it then.”

“There isn’t much left,” Brian warned. When Tim nodded his understanding, he continued from where he had stopped, and when he had finished talking about his current fucked-up situation, the other man had been shocked into silence. 

“You have to be kidding me,” he finally said. “There’s no way that that shit’s real and actually happening to you.” 

Brian shook his head and sighed. “I wish I was, but nope! My parents are just assholes who are outta their minds.” 

Tim thought for a second - he had to do something, but he didn’t know what he could to be able to help. He chewed on his lip, and after a minute or so, had an idea that he thought could possibly work. 

“How about we pretend that we’re soulmates?” he asked Brian, who looked taken aback but also as if he was considering Tim’s proposition. Tim was about to backtrack and apologize, maybe say something along the lines of or we can just not do that if you don’t want to I’m sorry for bringing it up you must think I’m so creepy and weird and can we just ignore this ever happened?  

But then Brian nodded thoughtfully, and said, “Actually, I can imagine how that would work. I’d call my parents and tell them that I’ve already found my soulmate and that I want to spend more time with you, and you’d talk to them in order to convince them further if they don’t believe me. I already know I’m gay, so my soulmate is definitely a man, so your voice being a guy’s wouldn’t be a problem and when I find my actual soulmate, if they sound different to you, we could just blame it on the phone being weird through the call. We could say that we wanna spend a few weeks getting to know each other before I leave, and during that time I could find my real soulmate. If I can’t, then we can come up with scenarios in which I’d need to stay longer until I do. Yeah, actually, this is a really good idea, Tim.” 

“Uh, really? I mean, thanks,” Tim said, still reeling from Brian’s rambling. “How are we going to do this? Do you like, I don’t know, wanna call your parents and I can talk to them?”

“Yeah, sure, give me a sec,” Brian fished in his pocket for his phone and Tim internally panicked while Brian called his mother. He would have had a panic attack, but before he could truly get worked up, Brian was already talking. 

“Hey mother, guess what happened - no, you’ll never guess - I found my soulmate! And he’s a guy like I said he would be! Oh, you don’t want my soulmate to be a man? Well, unfortunately, apparently the universe doesn’t share your homophobic views - oh come on, would I lie about this? You don’t believe me? Fine, I guess I’ll have to prove it. Mother, meet Tim.”

“Hello Mrs. Thomas, it’s nice to meet you,” Tim said, and Brian couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen, and he didn’t want Tim to be there for it. He hated his parents, and the thought of them hurting Tim in any way was unbearable. Wait, what? I met him like 15 minutes ago, why do I care so much about him? He was going to figure out his feelings regarding Tim, but then he saw how he was getting anxious, so he decided to intervene now and unpack his shit later. 

Grabbing the phone from Tim, he told his parents that he and Tim wanted to get to know each other by staying at the hotel for longer, and when they objected, he simply reminded them that he was his own person and as an adult, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to do, slowly getting more pissed off with every word that his parents said. Knowing that he would snap if he listened to more of their bullshit, he hung up after letting them know he would stay for a few more weeks in Ohio, though probably in a motel (he wasn’t rich enough to spend weeks at a five-star hotel). He looked at Tim. “Are you okay? You looked pretty freaked out there, and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put that much pressure on-”

“No, no, you’re fine. I guess I just felt overwhelmed, sort of? I don’t really know why I felt so anxious, but I’ve been dealing with anxiety for, like, 16 years. I should be used to it by now,“ Tim assured Brian. "Plus, it worked, didn’t it? they weren’t happy, but they seem to have believed us, so you can stay for a few more weeks and try to find your soulmate. Actually, why are you searching in Ohio and not Alabama anyway? Aside from the obvious reason, of course.” he added. 

Brian frowned. “I don’t really know, I guess this just felt closer to my soulmate. You know how your mark is supposed to like, tingle and shit?” Tim nodded, and Brian continued. “Yeah, I guess that’s why - Ohio feels like I’m closer to finding them than in Alabama." 

"Yeah, I think I get it. It feels the same for me too, if I think about it - my mark feels weird and that’s never happened before, so I must be doing something right,” Tim said after thinking for a while, and Brian laughed.

“Hey, who knows, maybe we’ll find our soulmates in here, and maybe we’ll find them at around the same time - that would be so cool! You know, I think I rather like you, Tim. I’d like to be friends - if you wanna, of course,” Brian said, and Tim answered with an affirmative. 

“Well, you’re pretty cool yourself Brian Thomas, and I would indeed like to be friends, but I really gotta go. Emily’s probably going out of her mind, wondering where her son she found after 12 years went to,” Tim joked, and they exchanged numbers. 

“ So, I still have a week or so left, which means I’ll probably see you around the hotel and shit. Bye Tim,” Brian called as he left the bathroom, and Tim waved back before following.

  Chapter 2:

Brian walked back to his room, since he had already finished his dinner, and contemplated the last hour. He had gone from having to fight his parents for less than a week to find his soulmate to being given permission (well, sort of. Brian thought it counted if they had always encouraged him to do something until it actually got to the point in which said thing would be applicable - they couldn’t just change their minds because they were homophobic assholes) for almost a month doing whatever he wanted wherever he wanted to. 

Of course, there was also Tim. He didn’t quite understand why he liked Tim already, or why Tim had helped him, but he knew that he didn’t regret it at all. Plus, they were friends now, and he felt that they would only get closer with time. He’d arrived at his room by this point, and after entering, he decided that he wouldn’t get anything else done today. Within minutes he was in bed - no point pretending to be functional when there was nobody around to see it, and plus, he was very sleep-deprived and he should probably go to sleep to fix that. 

Since he’d been lying still with his eyes closed for over an hour, Brian believed that he was justified in going on his phone. However, once he opened his phone, he realized that he didn’t really have anything to do, and in a moment of boredom and apathy for his future, he decided to text Tim.

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: Hey tim

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: it’s me brian

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: if you couldn’t tell

  He was surprised to see that Tim was online, and soon enough, he saw Tim’s typing bubble pop up.

  Tim [23:44]: yeah 

Tim [23:44]: i saved your number

  Tim [23:44]: anyway whats up

  Brian smiled because of course Tim was awake, he totally seemed like the type of person who’s constantly tired and sleep-deprived.

  savingprivatebrian [23:44]: nothing

  savingprivatebrian [23:45]: i just couldnt sleep

  Tim [23:45]: i get that

Tim [23:46]: insomnias a bitch

  savingprivatebrian [23:46]: yep

savingprivatebrian [23:47]: so do you wanna just talk until we can sleep

  Tim [23:47]: please

He laughed at Tim’s response, and settled comfortably into his nest of pillows (perks of five-star hotels) to talk to Tim.

In the end, they both agreed to go to sleep at around 3:30 in the morning, after having texted for almost four hours. If he wasn’t so sleepy, he might’ve wondered why conversation was so easy when he was talking to Tim when he normally wouldn’t be able to even form sentences with people he knew as little as he knew Tim. Instead, though, he placed his phone on the bedside drawer, rolled over, and fell asleep within minutes, still with a little smile playing on his lips.

  Chapter 3:

  A week later, Tim’s mother left to go back to work, and Tim promised her that he’d come to visit every now and then. He was surprised to find that he was planning to keep that promise - after his mom explained her reasons, he learned that she hadn’t left because she wanted to, only because she had to. Her life had been easier without him, and that realization hurt. He had held her back her entire life, and he really couldn’t blame her for having done whatever she could to get rid of the reason she couldn’t be happy. He was over it, though. He had had more than a decade to come to terms with the fact that everyone he cared about would leave him eventually, when they realized that he would always be problematic, that he would never get better, and that he would always drag them down. Why would anyone stay with that?

Then came was Brian. Tim knew that he was falling, falling hard, but he also knew that Brian didn’t feel the same - they both wanted to find their soulmates, and even if Brian did like someone as fucked up as Tim, when he found his soulmate, he’d just leave. 

He had told Brian about his mom and how he felt, as well as why he was in a hospital for 10 years, and Brian’s only reaction was to hug him (they didn’t notice that no parts of their skin had made contact, Tim would later realize) and telling him that he’d never leave. That was a bigger deal than Brian realized, and he had broken down crying, which caused Brian to start crying too. They had spent about 2 hours talking about their problems, and Tim left Brian’s room feeling better than he had for over a month. They had only been friends for a few days at that point, but there was no denying that they had a connection - they were already so, so close (and if Tim wanted them to be even closer, well, no-one had to know). 

Jay had called, on the second day. He had asked what was going on and why the hell Tim hadn’t texted or called him - rightfully so, since they usually talked daily and it had been more than 2 days with nothing. Tim had ranted about Brian and his mom, but it had taken Jay about ten minutes into Tim’s monologue to point out that he was totally crushing on Brian, and Tim had found himself unable to argue. After talking for over an hour, Jay had hung up with a threat to Tim if he didn’t text him everything that happened. 

Tim thought back to that conversation many times over the following days - he could trust Jay to call him out on his bullshit and help him work through it, and he knew Jay could do the same. Whenever his anxiety convinced him that they simply tolerated his presence and actually hated him, Tim would text Jay (and now Brian) and Jay would not stop texting him until Tim had no doubt left about their friendship.

On his last day in the hotel, a week after he arrived and met Brian, he had breakfast with Brian to talk about what they were going to do, since this was Brian’s last day too. 

“Over here,” Brian called out as Tim walked into the restaurant in the hotel, from which they got free breakfast. 

“Hey,” Tim said when he sat down. “You wanna go get some food? I’m starving.”

“Yeah, sure. Just a second,” Brian put his stuff on the extra chair, and connected his phone to a charger. “My battery’s at 12 percent,” he explained at Tim’s questioning look.

“Alright, let’s go. What do you wanna get?” Brian asked when they entered the self-service area.

“Eggs and bacon first, so they cook, but I’ll look around anyway to see what’s there,” Tim answered while grabbing a plate.

“Why didn’t you get a fork and knife too?”

“Because I’ll drop them, Brian.” 

“Ha, weak.”

“Do you really want to try me?” 

“Geez, you’re just so scary.”

“I know.” 

They had reached the omelette station, and they waited for their orders to be cooked in comfortable silence, which was new to both of them. Shaking his head, Tim decided to ignore his lack of friends while he was so happy and had the chance to spend time with someone who not only could tolerate him, but also wanted to befriend him. 

He was brought back to reality by Brian nudging him, and snapped his eyes onto Brian in alarm, quickly realizing there was no threat, there was just his food (paranoia had become a reflex at this point, and he wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to laugh or cry because of it). 

Throughout breakfast, Tim found his eyes lingering more and more on Brian’s lips when all social and conversational norms stated that his gaze should be on his eyes or overall figure to watch his body language and hand gestures, so like everyone else who’s ever been in this situation, he decided, okay, we’re going to put these feelings of attraction in a box, now close it, and yep! Push it as far away from coherent thought as you can, right up against the childhood trauma, self-hatred, insecurity, and look! It’s the box of fear of abandonment. Now, we don’t think about these, so surely this’ll be safe here. After cataloging everything into the dark basement of his mind, buried deep under everything else and covered in the mental equivalent of cobwebs and a layer of dust over everything, he simply looked away from Brian’s mouth and focused on literally any other part of his body, like, like- his eyes! That would surely work, wouldn’t it? You can’t possibly mess eye contact up, even though you’re, well, you, Tim. Don’t fuck this up with your social incompetence.

Yeah, no. After only a few minutes of trying to draw his attention away from what Brian would taste like, he found out that eyes are just as dangerous as lips, since he found that it was easier than it should be to get lost in Brian’s warm hazel eyes. He never realized that there were rings of different colours, and with the light framing his face, he looked otherworldly, like he didn’t belong to planet Earth or at least had some kind of magic coursing through his veins, just like warmth was coursing through Tim’s as he drowned in the ocean of brown and green filling Brian’s eye sockets. Because he was drowning, drowning, drowning as he forgot to breathe, move, do anything at all in the haze that came over him.

-------------------------------

[hungnitan]

Hello! Well just want to give a comment about your last post (no need to reply this). In MLQC and MLDD, Eng voice pack is the priority because they both are global servers. CN only has CN. KR only has KR, and same goes for JPN and TW. Elex which running the global server obviously will prior the ENG voice. I admit the ENG sounds cringe but most MLQC players love it compare to the other voice pack because most of them aren't Asian. And since this game is an Asian games, well of course western language would be sound a bit off. As for me, I don't like JPN voice since it's not the original voice of the guys. Right Besides You and R&S will always in ENG voice. I do too spend a lot of money in this game. Learn to respect other people's hard work. Just watch the JPN dub on internet (if you even understand it) and stop complaining or just play the other server. Have a nice day.

Hello anon, first I already know some people like you will comment on this except it's pretty fast just around 2 hours after I posted

Well, I must use your Q&A before everyone take turn flaming on me🤣 (I guess you're in pretty sensitive state while read the post so I'm sorry for that)

Well, of course I appreciated ENG team since bc of them overseas fans able to appreciated MLQC greatly and bring out MLDD (Thai server). Moreover I didn't wrote in post that I love the fact MLDD get behind with MLQC since it means ranking in MLDD get easier cause most people choose MLQC to throw their money on it (so yeah thanks MLQC whalers for keeping the game alive💞)

Let's just say at first I planned to let out some rant for why MLDD didn't do Fairytale wish tree along with MLQC, some MLQC bug system they never fix then turn out without realize I speak ill to ENG dubber...

Humans really scary, isn't 😔 Maybe at that time me too still in "want to throw some of my stress" state... 😂

And to answer your question about watch JPN dub on internet, tbh it's hard since most JPN don't want to spoiler moreover uploading full videos than other country since they really secrective and sensitive about spoiling/get spoiled. I mean in everything, not only KoiPro

So in the end, am I really sorry about the previous post ? The answer are no, I only say sorry to you (and another sensitive hearts later)

Half about them lament to why ENG didn't implement JPN dub (add CHN too) to some feature (what I want to say is they doing things half ass) while the later half I questioning ENG team since they can make the game better with those whalers money.

So practically I mostly say it need some improvement

[quokkacore]

good luck with your early decision application!! seriously don’t worry about getting tsmmm finished before that, you gotta think about your future hun! but i’m really looking forward to the final chapter no matter when it’s released you’ve done such a good job ❤️❤️❤️❤️

thank you!! i was actually able to submit it yesterday, but i still have to fix an issue that came up with my hs counselor's recommendation (she doesnt understand english very well so i helped her but we made a few mistakes doing it, so i have to contact her AGAIN to help her correct it and hhhh its a mess). its mostly just the stress of financial aid and some other very, very stressful things going on in my home life rn that i'd rather not disclose here, but other than that i just have to finish some stuff for my other regular decision applications, study my ass off for the sat and then finally submit everything and then FINALLY take a break. srry for unloading on u im just kind of holding a lot of stuff in rn and i just want to put life on pause for a lil bit u get me

as for tsmmm, i MIGHT finish it tonight!!! if i dont, ill finish tomorrow morning and it'll go up later past my usual upload time (12am kst). i've always been a bit bad with writing smut because i tend to drag it out and then slack off writing a good finish because i'm pressed for time, so that's the worst of it.

thank you for your words. i really, really appreciate them. reading them made me just the slightest bit emotional (plus getting what i just said off my chest) so i'm gonna go take a shower and maybe cry a bit sjdjakdksk

[neopuff]

hello, i hope you're having a good day!! i was wondering, do you have any tips for making amvs? like, what programmes you use, how you handle the timing, etc. thank you for all the fun edits you make!!

hi!! sorry for the delay in answering this, i just wanted to take the time to answer it thoroughly and i kept forgetting lol & thank you! i already typed this once and tumblr made it disappear so i apologize if anything i say comes out short ‘cause i’m just trying to remember all that i typed before lol

ok so ill just go through my general editing process in Vegas, i dont know any other program well enough to talk about it at length:

(disclaimer: this is just how i do it, i dont watch tutorials and my editing friends and i don’t watch each other edit often so i would assume that my way is very different from other ways you’ve probably seen! i might even do something in a very stupidly hard way, please feel free to tell me if theres an easier way to do anything lol)

1. Song: So skipping past the “choosing song and ship/character/show” theme, I’ll dive straight into CUTTING THE SONG! I’m not about that Editing The Entire Song life, and neither is most of the editing community anymore, so I cut it up into a shorter thing that I’m better equipped to edit to. I’m just using a random example but here I’ve taken this long ass song and turned it into this:

(the next step just kind of depends on my mood, or ill do both, doesnt matter)

2-A. Subclips: if im making a shorter video or a video where i’m not 100% super familiar with the footage, i will immediately start making subclips using the episodes ive already pulled into the project. if it’s a ship/character that i’ve edited before, i’ll just go to Import->Media from Project and import the subclips i made previously. either way, subclips are there! 

2-B. Sheets: for ships that i know very well/have a lot of footage/im concerned about potentially repeating something, i will go to Google Sheets/Excel and take the lyrics im editing to and put them in column A, separating by pauses in the singing. then i put corresponding footage i think will go well in column B! im often not super specific because i know the beats are gonna be different than i remember, so i usually stick to referencing whole scenes instead of specifics moments. here’s an example:

3. Clip placement: Then I start placing clips down! Below is how I organize my timeline tho I know a lot of editors who put the music on top, this is just how I like it. I also keep a single muted audio layer in between for the video footage’s audio and then I’ll delete that layer when I’m done (or sometimes I don’t, it doesn’t really matter)

I think it’s good to hit the beats as much as possible, it makes for a more dynamic audio-visual experience! In general I try to make my videos so that, if I didn’t add any zooms or typography or coloring, it would still be a good amv. And don’t limit yourself to just one layer, you can have as many layers as you’d like and put clips on top of each other (cookie cutter/changing the layer to dodge or add or screen or whatever) is a good way to mix things up

when I zoom in you can see I’ve got some variety already in my transitions, I know I use that motion-blur-zoom a lot these days but I still try to mix it up and keep my brain invested

4. Typography: After all the clips have been placed (or most of the clips, ofc sometimes I’ll want to add more later) I move on to typography! I’m lazy so the first thing I’ll do it just put down unedited text where I think I’ll want it to go. It just helps me organize myself. Then I’ll pretty up the text afterwards.

Typography isn’t necessary for a good AMV, but really nice typography can really spruce things up. I’ve only very recently gotten confident in my text editing skills, and I just kept watching typography done by editors I really like until I figured out what they were doing. My recommendation is to just KEEP ADDING EFFECTS! Convolution kernel, gaussian blur, mask the text so it appears from angles that the transitions wouldn’t be able to do - of course there’s gotta be a limit for taste, but just add stuff until you like how it looks. Also changing the blending style of the text layer is good, dodge and difference are my go-tos for typography layers.

5. Transitions: I don’t go crazy with transitions, but it’s fun to mess around with them. You don’t want too many crazy/different transitions, you want them to match the mood of the song and the type of beat you’re hitting. I usually ensure that all similar beats in the song have the same transition type on them, bbbbbbut that’s cuz I’m overly obsessed with parallel structure. There’s plenty of fantastic AMVs where they just go ham and do whatever types of transitions they want to in each part of the song and they make it work just fine

(next step, once again, kind of depends on my mood lol)

6-A. Zooms: Time for zooms! I usually just use the pan/crop for zooming, but often I’ll incorporate Sapphire FX BlurMoCurves or NewBlue AutoPan, especially if I’m trying to zoom typography with the footage at the same rate. I try to keep my zooms short and slower, I mean obv it just depends on the song but yeah. There’s a lot of different ways to do zooms so I recommend experimenting and just playing around with different effects

6-B. Zooms...but different: Another way that I’ll do zooms which is definitely pretty different (but this is what I do for crossovers like 95% of the time because I am laaaaaaaaaaazy) is I’ll drag the project into a new project timeline and start editing it there. It’s similar to how After Effects works and it makes it easier to put effects overtop of multiple layers without having to pre-render anything.

So you can see I’ve just pulled in the .VEG file and popped it in the timeline! So this way I can add zooms and transitions without worrying about layers. And if I see a mistake I need to fix, I can just go back into the original .VEG file and edit it, and it’ll be edited when I come back here. So it’s much easier than pre-rendering or trying to do zooms on a lot of layers. To be clear tho, this doesn’t work well if you have a lot of fade transitions, it’s best for sharp transitions and it’s great when you’re using Sapphire FX BlurMoCurves a lot.

7. Overlays: After that I’ll add more typography (or if you didn’t add any earlier, you can add some here overtop of the new project file) that kind of goes on top of everything. And then I’ll add any overlays or objects or whatever else I wanna add! I’m not someone who uses a lot of backgrounds cuz I don’t have a background-creative-brain so I stick to simple overlays at the most.

8. Coloring!!! This is very sad but I only JUST learned a few weeks ago that you can add coloring/effects to your entire video with this button here, so in case anyone else hates watching tutorials as much as I do here’s where I’m talking about:

This shit would’ve made my life so much easier throughout the years lol But alas. Anyway so for coloring there are some effects that are popular for any colorings you’ll find on YT (but you can certainly just download some, Riverdale editors in particular share a lot of really great colorings but you’ll find them anywhere in the live action editing community):

Channel Blend, Color Curves, Color Blend, Color Balance, Convolution Kernel (best for live action footage or footage that isnt very crisp), Color Corrector Secondary

These are all just fun to mess with. Channel Blend in particular is something of a mystery for me, I haven’t studied it fully to understand what I’m doing so I mostly just mess with it randomly until I like what I see lol

9. Render time! First render, anyway. Usually there’ll be some random problem in the footage or something and I’ll have to either go back into the project and fix it OR if I’m feeling particularly sour (or maybe if I’ve rendered like 3-4 times already) I will just take the finished render and manually remove any errors, stretching out the good footage to cover my tracks. You’d be surprised how often I end up doing that lol

And then it’s good to post! I primarily render as .WMV but I also go for .MP4s every once in a while. If I want to upload it to Twitter I’ll do an .MP4 but it’s a new thing for me so I’m still stuck on .WMV mostly.

Anyway I hope this answered your question at least a little bit, I can go into more detail about certain parts of this if you’d like!

[lucyhq]

hiiiii loves, i’m aimee and this is my baby lucy !!! pls plot with me while i watch brooklyn nine nine for the 7th time. also this is long bc i ramble a lot, i apologize in advanced… love me?

chicago’s very own lucille “lucy” withers has been spotted on madison avenue driving a ferrari dino 206 gt , welcome ! your resemblance to lennon stella is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-first birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re taciturn , but also being benevolent might help you . i think being a scorpio explains that .  3 things that would paint  a  better picture of you would be half smoked cigarettes , middle of the night adventures , behaving recklessly .

trigger warning for: cancer, loss of a parent and eating disorder mentions.

THE BACKSTORY

lucille withers was born on october 31st to jenny and vincent withers. she was their third and final child, the only girl and they couldn’t have been more overjoyed.

they raised their children in chicago with vacation home by the beach in malibu where they spent most of their summers.

the withers family was quite wealthy – vincent being a big time corporate lawyer and jenny being a respectable editor for a fashion magazine. however, the three children were raised as normally as possible ( if you ignored their massive house and the fact that they were encouraged to participate in more sports and activities than they had time for ).

lucy grew up in dance classes, piano lessons, figure skating, she was a cheerleader in school and she spent a lot of time volunteering at animal shelters as her parents instilled in all their children the value of giving back to their community.

when lucy was six her mother became very ill, cancer cells attacking her brain on progressing quickly. they made her comfortable for as long as possible but just three days after lucy’s seventh birthday her mother passed away in the night.

things changed after that, her brothers were constantly getting into fights at school and lashing out, her father was rarely home any more always working and little lucy was doing everything in her power just to keep the peace. the seven year old made herself invisible to not cause any more problems at home.

things changed again a few years later once her brothers left for college and lucy entered high school.

their dad got married. he’d met a woman with two children of her own and vincent withers was smitten, combining their lives with these other people suddenly. he was paying more attention to this lady and her children than he ever had to lucy and her brothers, only her brothers weren’t there to truly experience any of it.

lucy felt like an intruder in her own home, her childhood home – where her mother walked the halls and played hide and seek with them. where her oldest brother punched a hole in the wall and they still hadn’t fixed it, just put a picture over it.

the young withers did the only thing she knew how to do, it had worked for her brothers after all, she became the problem child. they couldn’t ignore her if she was starting fights at school, smoking in the girl’s bathroom and coming home drunk on a tuesday.

all it did though was cause her new step mother to shriek about parenting and blame lucy’s mom. it caused lucy to become more isolated from her family and to lash out more. her dad couldn’t see her cry for help or how all she wanted was his attention.

she couldn’t even count how many times she’s heard “why can’t you be more like lydia.” ( her perfect step sister ).

it got to the point where she began to go on hunger strikes, refusing to sit and eat with her “family” and controlling the only thing she felt she could – food.

eventually they’d had enough and sent her off to boarding school in london. she spent two years there in an all girls prep school. but even they couldn’t control the young withers girl. they viewed her as a lost cause.

by the time she was a senior in high school, lucy withers had a terrible reputation and was back in the united states to stir up all the trouble she could manage. only when she came home it wasn’t to chicago but new york city, where her family had moved during her time away.

the only thing that kept her from completely going off the rails was her ever growing social media fan base, where she posted pictures on instragram of her rebellious lifestyle and impeccable style.

SOME FACTS ABOUT LUCY

with over four million instagram followers to her name, being in new york has aided her social media career, though lucy hasn’t shed her rebellious ways.

she cares so much about people and animals and all living things – she wants to help people. she has a massive heart and honestly, it’s her biggest weakness. if her social media career hadn’t taken off so fast she would have gone into nursing.

her big heart causes her to get hurt easily, she doesn’t like to show that she cares because then it sets herself up to be hurt. she pretends to not care about anything or anyone but when she’s at the nursing home or the animal shelter, you really get to see that soft side of her.

after fainting from mal-nutrition when she was sixteen and away at school, lucy now uses that because she knows it’s a sure way to have her father pay attention to her for a few hours. but also it  get’s her out of doing things she doesn’t want to do – lucy will starve herself. it makes people pay attention to her and she takes twisted joy in that.

despite her rebelliousness and how much of a hot mess she is, she takes her career very very seriously. she works herself sick, making sure she’s constantly uploading new content and always looks her best. she’s always looking for ways to stay on top of her game.

she volunteers at the nursing home twice a week, her soft side really comes out when she’s helping the seniors, making them laugh and smile.

lucy is allergic to cats, tomatoes and is lactose intolerant. she’s also vegetarian and tries really hard to eat vegan as much as possible ( when she does eat ).

her brothers have always been her best friends, she would do literally anything for them.

her favourite colour is yellow, her favourite flower is a sunflower, her favourite food is coffee, her favourite song is burning love by elvis presley and her favourite season is summer.

she hates snakes, pickles, when people cuss too much and people spend all their time complaining or talking about someone else negatively.

her bloodstream is 98% coffee

stops to pet all the dogs

is the most loyal friend you will ever meet once you win her over, would take a bullet for you

acts tough but is really very soft

hOT MESS

SOME WANTED CONNECTIONS

people that know her from chicago before she left for school.

her older brothers’ friends – we could make this fun or angsty ( maybe she hooked up with one of them and her brother still doesn’t know ), like it really could be good.

her brothers or step siblings !!

ex boyfriends, good, bad or one sided. give me them all. though bad terms would be fun and maybe they ended because of lucy’s inability to really open up and deal with her shit. he could have gotten sick of her attention seeking. being with lucy would be draining.

some good influences, someone needs to tell this mess to calm down and stop ruining her life all because of things she can’t control.

party buddies, someone she can drag out to the clubs on a tuesday night or is always down to get drunk or high with her.

someone she can just be real with, someone she can talk to openly and honestly, but also someone who does the same with her. they just talk and let each other get things off their chest without judgement or fear they’ll go telling someone else.

maybe a fellow volunteer at the nursing home ??

someone who picks up drunk lucy and makes sure this mess gets to her bed at the end of the night and doesn’t end up drowning in a ditch or something like that

and of course she needs best friends and a squad, don’t we all.

maybe a current boyfriend?

one night stands

a childhood best friend that knew lucy when she was a happy, loving child – was there when she tried to become invisible during her preteen years and then watched her fall apart in high school and progressively get to where she is now.

anything else you might have in mind i’m really open to all ideas tbh

just come love me and lucy

pretty please

[masterserris]

epilogue notes for neo mysterio

spoilers under cut i guess lol

also for neo mysterio, ock's master plan is to rat out a ton of crime organizations, literally cure cancer, and a whole bunch of other good advancements to clear their names while bypassing the red tape in the research field, then they all basically kinda retire? that's why beck and the others are all there, they all get a second chance and get their issues fixed. like max gets cured of his powers and such and they get official pardons from the gov for their good deeds and are left alone. humanitarians, deep down, ock was never evil?

also in an au or smth for neo he marries ock and they have francis as a daughter after they retire

and phantasm maybe marries miranda wilson from the 90's spiderman show

was thinking neo was a single dad for a while bc he's ace and wasnt sure of his feelings for otto for a long ass time, not really ready to marry and shit, and otto is super patient with him and validates whatever he chooses. like otto was a donor so francis is like in elementary/middle school when beck finally chooses to marry.

oh yeah neo does become and avenger and friends with parker deadass later in life after being pardoned.

also excerpt of their redemption: “News broadcast helicopters captured Otto beating the shit out of Red Skull, while MODOK was defeated by Hydro Man, Sandman, and Rhino. The Mandarin was KOed by the Winter Guard unexpectedly (seems the Six played nice with them after Beck’s run in), and Kingpin got ousted by Boomerang, Speed Demon, and Vulture, while the Owl was nearly killed by Chameleon. Mr. Negative was apprehended by Spider-Man, but not after being put through the ringer by Electro. Doom announced he would open treaties and negotiations with the UN and Wakanda done in exchange for better trading deals facilitated likely by the Six in countries of interest. Symkaria likewise announced a truce with Latveria as both nations began to demilitarize. The real kicker was what was uploaded online and sent to nations around the world. By Otto Octavius, a retro virus that attacks cancer cells with a 99.98% success rate. As well as cures or brand new treatments for nasty diseases such as Ebola, Rabies, strains of tuberculosis, Alzheimer’s, Malaria, diabetes therapy, MS, epilepsy, cerebral palsy, and a whole laundry list of ailments. Not all were cures, but rather ways of treating or greatly lessening symptoms. He was good, but not exactly a miracle man. All of the chemical formulas and methods of manufacture were out there for the world to see and have, keeping medicine prices low as no one could patent this information and claim it as their own. This list also included designs and samples of brand new medical equipment that could make imaging and surgery that much more precise and safe. New advances in agriculture to help reduce the strain of hunger in the world were also released. It was not perfect, but certainly far better than what they currently had. Many helpful inventions from recyclers to high density solar generators, you name it, Otto released it for the world to have. For free. His life’s work, put out there for the masses. Adrian Toomes had been the test subject for this new cancer killing virus. And it had worked. Alexandria Beck was also listed as a human subject. Indeed, she had been suffering from breast cancer, but now that was a thing of the past. All Ock wanted in return for capturing these villains and providing these new medical breakthroughs? All he wanted was for his crew’s records to be expunged, and if they wished, it live under new identities away from their old lives. Ock would see to it that everyone would walk away happy. A small, small price to pay for saving untold future lives. He asked for no money, no recognition, no nothing. Just to be left alone once it was over. Or perhaps…. Become an Avenger instead? Were villains that much different from heroes with this break out of vigilante justice? It was not legal, going through and blackmailing all these crooks, paying off killers and stealing and smuggling materials. For years on end in secret. But it was worth it, wasn’t it? Needless to say, the UN agreed to his deal, and the world took a sigh of relief as so many were put behind bars or vanished back into the night from whence they came. The Avengers and Fantastic Four were…. thoroughly astounded and confused as to what exactly took place. He was a good guy? Did some dirty deeds, sure, but? All of this to simply help others? They were cautious, but with no sign of the Six ever returning, they let it go as truth. For now.”

flint basically goes back to his family finally with a clear name and money/resources to treat his daughter.

adrian is retired as a grandpa and cured of his cancer and such. he had retired before and was out of the game due to his illness but he secretly was helping ock for a while.

max is cured and settles down

chameleon gets his records purged and kinda disappears but is always friends/talking to beck.

rhino gets outta his suit and goes to retire with his wife.

and yeah. even hydro man and other villains who helped get benefits but idk if they all retire. they mostly calm down at least.

[tiaragqueen]

Tiger By The Tail

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Kim Taehyung x Gardener!Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,5k+

✂ Trigger Warning: Obsessiveness, possessiveness, implied death

✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don't believe any of the members would do this in real life. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day!

Do not re-upload my writing to another website or use it without my permission.

[Edited]

***

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

"The taste of love is sweet. When hearts like ours meet, I fell for you like a child. Oh, but the fire went wild.” - Ring Of Fire [Johnny Cash]

     A human’s desire knows no bounds.

     It was a fact that Taehyung used to deny when he first laid his eyes on you.

     You were a young woman; having been fired from your recent job and short on money. You didn’t have any particular skills, yet by some pure luck, you managed to land yourself as a new gardener in Kim's estate. It was laborious work, but the payment was worth it. As expected from the prestigious Kim family. Moreover, it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so you’d be a fool to miss it.

     Due to your inexperience in gardening, you were prone to small accidents like scratching on a thorn or spraying your shirt with the hose. You weren't necessarily a klutz, as told by his butler when he recounted your interview.

     However, Taehyung was well aware that he was the cause of your sudden clumsiness. Or rather, paranoia.

     Taehyung had been watching you since your very first day of working through the window of his room; initially intrigued with the new addition in his house. Although he might seem aloof and indifferent, Taehyung still paid attention to his staff. He was, after all, the oldest son of the Kim family. Sooner or later, he would replace his father as the head of the family. If he was ignorant of his own servants, then how would he be a good leader for the employees later? Never mind that he wasn't particularly fond of his father's decision, but tradition is a tradition.

     Yet the fact how you were still oblivious to his figure that kept standing behind the glass like a watchman was surprising and amusing at the same time.

     But Taehyung was a straightforward man. He was never the dreamer, nor was he taught to be one. He was the doer; the one who actively made decisions. He wasn't the one who 'go with the flow'. He was the maker of his destiny.

     Taehyung needed to see you in person; to stand and breathe in the same air as yours. It was funny how he seemed to be worshipping the ground you walked on when he could have any other woman with a flick of his fingers. He had the perfect face to make them drop their skirts off and the covetable wealth. Besides, you were just as plain – even unnoticeable – like the rest of his servants.

     But of course, he had a tunnel-like vision when it came to you.

     Ah, the effect of love at first sight... Something that he used to scoff at for its silliness.

     This unquenchable desire was what prompted him to approach you for the first time after weeks of observing and wondering. Noticing and studying every little quirk you consciously and unconsciously did. Wishing and daydreaming about the future that included you, him, a couple of kids, a cozy house in the countryside, and a pet or two. You could even plant some plants if you wanted, or trying your hands in simple farming.

     And God, he didn’t regret his choice one bit. The prelude of the many encounters to come.

     Even though you wore a green apron over a plain white shirt and blue jeans, there was something remarkably attractive to you. The way your bare face – free from any makeup he was used to seeing in his everyday life – was sweaty, you still looked ethereal. Like an angel that descended from Heaven just to bless his sight with her beauty alone.

     “Hello,” he spoke up with his deep voice that never failed to surprise anyone, including you. You clumsily dropped the hose that you used to water the plants and bowed.

     “G-good afternoon.” you stuttered. It wasn’t until you noticed just who had personally come to see you until you stood with mouth agape like a fish out of the water. Taehyung was no stranger to such expression, but to see you act like that was strangely endearing. It made him feel... proud.

     It wasn’t as if he was planning to impress you either, yet he still felt happy for some reason.

     "You'll catch a fly if you keep opening your mouth like that." he teased. An indescribable warmth spread across his chest when you blushed and looked away bashfully. Just as he predicted you to.

     Ever since that day, Taehyung had taken the time in his busy schedule to get to know this amazing woman that had captivated him. He learned that you were fired for exposing the company’s secrets, despite your fruitless attempts in defending yourself. It wasn’t until a few days later that your boss finally captured the real culprit, and had issued a formal apology to you. You’d forgiven them, regardless of the tiny resentment that still lingered, but refused their offer to work for them again.

     Although Taehyung was exasperated with the unfair treatment you’d received - how did they just blame you for such a cruel crime without proof? - your rejection had eased his burning anger. Taehyung discreetly relaxed, satisfied with your decision. How could he not? Had you accept their proposal, then surely he wouldn’t be able to meet you. And that was something he couldn’t and refused to imagine.

     You also told him a bit about your past - after days of insistent coaxing from him; you didn't know why he was so adamant about learning it - like your mother’s illnesses, for example. It broke his heart when he saw your eyes teared up a little at the mention of her laying in bed, tended by your siblings. Through this revelation, Taehyung could see the exhaustion that sagged your eyelids or the occasional glaze in your beautiful irises.

     You were exhausted, both mentally and physically.

     Taehyung bit his lower lip. Why didn't he notice this before? He felt like a terrible boyfriend now...

     In an attempt to 'fix' his mistake, Taehyung offered you a job as his secretary with double payment. You were honestly tempted to take it – with such a high salary, you could pay the hospital bills quicker – but something in you had prevented you from doing that. Although you admitted that you felt a bit paranoid lately, you didn’t know if you were ready to take on such a huge responsibility.

     Or maybe you were just lying to yourself because really, there was something suspicious from him. Sure, he was nice and all, but this little voice inside your head kept telling you to watch out for him. And frankly, his presence alone always made your nerves skyrocketed despite him regularly accompanying you.

     But of course, you being you, ignored all the little hints until it was too late.

     It was one gloomy day when Taehyung noticed a silver ring on your finger. Particularly the ring finger. You told him, with a small yet jubilant smile in your face, that you were happily engaged. Taehyung fell silent, speechless with the answer despite having been dreading it beforehand. You were his girlfriend after all, and obviously, he wasn't prepared to hear that kind of response.

     But if there was one important thing he learned from being a businessman aside from the boring stuff, was that you couldn’t always wear your emotions on the sleeves. And Taehyung did exactly just that.

     He smiled the same boxy smile and congratulated you, paying no heed to your surprised countenance. Only those who look deep into his eyes would notice the hidden and dark intent behind his so-called 'support'.

     In the next few days, you came to work bleary-eyed. You made a lot of mistakes more than usual, and you were sensitive to even the slightest scold from the butler. Taehyung, noticing your depressing mood, pulled you aside, and gently asked the reason. You couldn’t even say more than three words before you broke down in his embrace, the reality of your fiancé being dead becoming too much for you to bear. Taehyung happily accepted the inevitable breakdown and cooed comforting words into your ears.

     You were so vulnerable; so deep in grief until you missed the tiny smirk that graced his exotic features. Or the brief beeping sound that notified him about the successful mission of killing a certain man.

     But Taehyung didn’t care. As long as he had you in his arms - caressing your messy hair like this - nothing else mattered anymore.

     To hell with sins and guilt. You were the love of his life. His soulmate. You were lucky that his love was the only thing that prevented him from forcing you to watch your fiancé's horrifying torture.

      Because Kim Taehyung was cruel like that. His mysteriously handsome face disguised a wicked man, willing to do anything it takes to make the love of his life as his.

     At least, you could learn to love him now. Even if you didn't, then he would have no problem threatening you to stop paying for your mother's hospital bills, essentially killing her with stress and deteriorating health. Or even guilt-tripping you for everything he'd done for you.

     Whichever worked the best.

     Outside, the sun finally showed herself in the overcast sky after she went into rather long hiding.