#so not so bad that my notes are super sparse

[nessvn]

im so exhausted but it's literally all my fault lol. one of these days i will learn to manage my time alas it is clearly not today. nor will it be next week lets be realistic.

[waratteiru]

.

[kai-uh-arcadian]

Inter(n)twining

synopsis: you’re an intern at JYP Corp, you get suddenly moved to a different floor and meet the woman of your dreams

cw: basically pure fluff, jealous Tzuyu, minor cursing, alcohol, grimey He*chul, please let me know anything else, also Tzuyu is like rich but it doesn't relate to the plot

word count: 4k

notes! hi! I hope you enjoy this!! It was sooo fun to write. I thought about this on my way to my own internship hahaha. Has anyone watched Queen of Tears? I referenced that one (<-watch it if you haven't!) scene in this that I thought was soooooo cute ahh~ anyways! Let me know how you feel about this or if you’d just like to chat. Love youuuu (:

You’d been interning at JYP Corp for about a month and a half now, and so far, things were pretty good. The people you met were okay, and while the work was definitely stressful, the fast-paced environment made the days fly by.

All in all, it wasn’t bad.

Well, almost.

Your floor boss, Heechul, was the one exception. He was in his early 40s, arrogant, and rude—those were the kindest words you could think of to describe him. You despised him secretly, but you were careful never to show it.

It was 9:20 a.m., and you had been at your desk since 7:30, typing up a last-minute report Heechul had dumped on you the moment you stepped through the office door. A report he honestly should have done yesterday.

“Get this done by 10, ’kay?” The way his smug grin appeared as your face faltered for a split second was permanently burned into your memory.

You mimicked his tone quietly to yourself while you made a face, “Get this done by 10, ’kay?” The bitter satisfaction of hitting ‘send’ on the email 40 minutes ahead of schedule almost made up for the annoyance.

“Hey, uh…”

Your heart dropped when you saw Heechul’s head suddenly poke over your cubicle wall.

Did he have super-hearing or something?!

You froze, horrified at the thought that he might’ve overheard your mocking.

“I’m so—” you began, your words stumbling out, but he cut you off without even glancing in your direction.

“Intern #5…” he drawled lazily, “someone on the 3rd floor got pulled into another project. They need someone to fill in for a 12 week case.” He flashed an indifferent smile as you exhaled the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

“Oh, okay. When do I start?” Not even questioning what you’d be doing for the next TWELVE weeks

“Hmm.. like now. Just grab whatever you need and head down there. Thanks!” And with that, he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving you blinking in disbelief.

What the hell. No details, no briefing? Just like that?

Grumbling under your breath, you grabbed your briefcase and stuffed your sparse desk items in it before making your way out the door and into the elevator. It wasn’t until you were inside that it hit you.

He didn’t even know your name. After over a month of interning, you were still just ‘Intern #5.’

“Ahh~ Seriously, fuck that guy…” you muttered to yourself as the elevator dinged, straightening your posture instinctively.

The third floor felt like a completely different world. The cubicles were laid out in a way that was the total opposite of what you were used to, leaving you standing there awkwardly, much like a worried puppy with the way your eyebrows furrowed.

After a few moments a soft voice broke through your thoughts. You turned your head to see a woman peeking out from her cubicle, you only needed to see half her face to realize she was stunning.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah… I was sent here to help out on the 12 week case,” you replied, rubbing the back of your neck. “But the layout is completely different from the 4th floor, so I’m a bit lost.”

She smiled warmly and stood up from her desk. “Oh! It must be the case I’m working on, my boss mentioned something earlier about another intern joining me so I think she is expecting you!  Her office is down that hall, last door on the left.” Using her long arms to point you in said direction. 

“Thanks a lot!” You started to walk away but paused, realizing you hadn’t asked for her name.

“Tzuyu,” she said with a smile, extending her hand.

“Y/n… Or, as my boss calls me, Intern #5.” You sighed with a small laugh, shaking her hand.

Tzuyu giggled softly. “I’m also an intern and I’ve heard stories about how he treats us. I think I can safely say Jihyo-nim is much nicer” assuaging your worries

As you exchanged smiles with Tzuyu, her warmth immediately calmed your nerves. You couldn't help but feel a sense of relief knowing you'd be working with someone friendly for once.

"Thanks for the heads-up. I'll try not to embarrass myself in front of her," you said with a small grin.

Tzuyu chuckled softly. "You'll be fine. She's really understanding—definitely not the type to make you feel like Intern #5," she reassured you, her voice playful.

With one last nod, you turned and made your way to Jihyo’s office, the nerves slowly creeping back in. You took a deep breath, knocked twice, and heard a clear voice from inside.

I really can’t deal with another Heechul situation

"Come in."

Opening the door, you found Jihyo seated at her desk, her space neat and organized but stacked with files. She looked up from her work and smiled brightly. "Y/n, thanks for stepping in on such short notice."

"No problem at all," you said, relieved she actually used your name.

Jihyo stood up and grabbed a folder from her desk. Jihyo motioned for you to sit. "The project we’re working on is a client case that’s been a bit tricky, but with the extra hands, we should be able to get things done faster.” She handed you the file to briefly read it over, “I’m assigning you to work on it with another intern, and I’ll walk you over to your station. You’ll be seated next to your partner."

You nodded, feeling your nerves settle. "Sounds great!"

Jihyo led you out of her office, down the hall, and toward a cluster of cubicles. As you approached, your heart skipped a beat when you realized she was guiding you right to the cubicle next to Tzuyu’s.

“Tzuyu, this is Y/n," Jihyo said with a smile as she motioned toward you. "You’ll both be working together on this case."

Tzuyu smiled warmly as she stood up. "Oh, we've already met!"

Jihyo blinked in surprise for a moment before chuckling softly. "Well, that’s perfect. That makes things easier." She gestured toward the empty cubicle next to Tzuyu’s. "Y/n, this is where you'll be sitting. Tzuyu’s already familiar with the case, so she’ll help you get caught up, and you two can take it from there. Let me know if you need anything, alright?" She made a slight notice how the tips of your ears were beginning to turn red before turning away.

"Thank you," you said, bowing before stepping into your new space and setting down your things.

As Jihyo left, you turned toward Tzuyu, a grin tugging at your lips. "Looks like we’re officially teammates."

Tzuyu nodded, her expression playful. "I guess that means I’ll be seeing a lot more of you."

"It seems so," you said, trying to keep your voice steady, though the idea of working closely with her made your heart flutter just a bit.

Tzuyu sat back down and gestured toward a stack of neatly organized documents. "Okay, let’s get started. I’ll walk you through what we were working on so far, and we can go from there."

You nodded, scooting your chair closer to her, your shoulder just barely brushing against hers as you both leaned in toward the table. The soft sound of paper flipping echoed against the steady lull of the room as Tzuyu began to explain the case, her voice was so calming. Her perfume—a subtle, sweet scent—seemed to linger in the air between you, and though you were trying to focus on her words, it was hard not to get a little distracted.

As she spoke, you couldn’t help but admire how composed and thoughtful she was, her long fingers moving gracefully over the pages. You found yourself glancing at her more often than the documents in front of you, drawn in by her presence. There was something undeniably captivating about the way she carried herself—poised, elegant, but still approachable.

“Do you understand it a bit more now? If not I can go over it again,” Tzuyu’s voice broke through your thoughts, and when you looked up, her eyes were already on you, curious. There was no judgment, just a soft smile that tugged at the corner of her lips.

You cleared your throat, trying to play it off with a grin. “Oh~! No, that’s okay,” you assuaged. “I’m just trying to process all of it”

She gave a small, knowing smile and turned her attention back to the documents. “Well, you're doing great, I know I just said a lot of words” she giggled, her tone soft but warm.

Over the last eight weeks, you and Tzuyu had gotten to know each other better. Your work together became a steady rhythm—casual conversations, shared laughs, and, to your delight, a shared love for music. It made the long car rides during company trips feel less like work and more like a comfortable escape.

One afternoon, while heading back to the office after a client visit, you caught Tzuyu quietly nodding along to a song from your playlist.

"You like Twice?" you asked, glancing over with mild surprise.

Tzuyu smiled, still looking out the window. "Yeah, I didn’t expect anyone here to listen to them."

"Same here," you chuckled. "You ever seen them live?"

Tzuyu turned her head, her smile growing. "Once, back in college. It was unforgettable."

"I’ve been meaning to for years but never got around to it," you replied. "Maybe next time they’re touring here."

"Maybe we can go together," she said, her voice was so forward yet soft, and the thought of seeing a concert with her lingered in the back of your mind long after the conversation ended.

That evening, after another long day, you found yourself staying late to finish some reports. Tzuyu had already called it a night, stopping by her neighboring cubicle as she prepared to leave.

"Hey, don’t stay too late," she said, offering a tired but warm smile.

"I won’t be long," you replied, stretching your shoulders. "I’ll see you tomorrow!"

"Good night, Y/n" she said, and with a soft wave, she headed out.

It was nearly an hour later when you finally finished up, the office almost eerily silent. You grabbed your things and headed out, only to find Tzuyu standing by the entrance under the building’s foyer, her arms crossed as she looked out at the rain pouring down.

You frowned, assuming she was waiting for the storm to calm down. "Seriously?" you muttered to yourself, amused that someone so seemingly put-together would forget an umbrella on a night like this. With a sigh, you walked over to her.

"Tzuyu, did you forget your umbrella?" you assumed lightly, a teasing smile on your face as you stood beside her.

Tzuyu turned toward you, blinking in surprise. "Oh, no, I'm just waiting for—"

"For the rain to stop?" You asked as you frantically put your stuff down on the concrete while taking off your blazer.

"You'll get sick if you try to walk home like this," you interrupted, pulling out your own red umbrella of your bag and pressing it into her hands while also throwing your blazer around her.

Tzuyu opened her mouth to respond, but you didn’t give her a chance.

"Here, take mine."

Tzuyu blinked, a bit taken aback. "But what about you?"

"I’ll be fine," you said with a reassuring smile. "The bus stop is just around the corner, and so I’ll be good. Besides, this umbrella’s way too nice to just be used in a short walk!"

Tzuyu hesitated, looking between you, the umbrella, and the pre-warmed jacket around her. She opened her mouth again, probably to explain, but you waved her off, already heading toward the street. "Seriously, don’t worry about it! It looks better on you anyway!"

Before she could protest, you were jogging away, flashing her a quick cheeky smile over your shoulder. "See you tomorrow, Tzu~!"

She stood there, the unopened red umbrella still in her hand and blazer around her as she watched you dart off toward the bus stop, your silhouette slowly disappearing in the fog of the heavy rain. Tzuyu glanced down at the umbrella, confusion flickering in her eyes.

“I .. have a driver..”

Just as she stood there, still processing what had happened, her driver finally pulled up, headlights cutting through the downpour.

"Miss Chou, I apologize for the delay—the rain's been causing awful traffic," the driver said, stepping out to open the door for her.

Tzuyu looked down at the umbrella again, momentarily lost in thought. "It’s okay, don't worry about it" she murmured, climbing into the car, the umbrella still firmly in her grip.

As the car drove off, Tzuyu’s thoughts drifted back to you—how you’d rushed off into the rain without a jacket nor without a second thought, stupidly smiling despite the storm, leaving her with your umbrella. She looked out the window as the bus drove off in the distance, watching your soaked form disappear from view, wondering about you, and why you so easily gave her the clothes off your back.

The next morning, when you arrived at the office, you saw Tzuyu already at her desk, the red umbrella propped up against your chair.

“Good morning Tzu!” You cheerfully greeted her while making your way to your respective space. 

She glanced up as you approached, her usual calm expression shifting to something more thoughtful.

"You know, you didn’t have to do all that last night," she said softly, as if she’d been thinking about it all morning. (she was)

You shrugged, giving her an easy smile. "I couldn’t let you walk in the rain like that. It’s just an umbrella and I bought that jacket from Amazon, no big deal! I’m glad you got home safe."

Tzuyu held your gaze for a moment, her eyes lingering on yours before she looked down. "Still… I appreciate it. I’ll give it back when it’s dry-cleaned"

Dry-cleaned?

"No it’s okay! Don’t worry about it," you replied, brushing off her concern with a wave of your hand. "It’s really okay!"

But as you settled into your seat, something about the exchange left an unspoken feeling between you both, small but undeniably there. You couldn’t quite shake it—the way her gaze lingered, it seemed like a quiet weight resting beside her.

And maybe, just maybe, that gesture meant more than either of you were ready to admit

Twelve weeks had passed, and you and Tzuyu had finally closed the case(successfully!) you’d been working on it for so long. It felt like a weight had been lifted, and both the third and fourth floors were buzzing with excitement. As the end-of-year office tradition dictated, Jihyo—and unfortunately, Heechul—organized a work dinner and drinks to celebrate the years successes.

Dinner started smoothly. Everyone was relaxed, conversations filled with lighthearted laughter and stories of the past few months. Tzuyu sat beside you, nursing her drink, her small, contented smile only adding to the warmth of the night.

But then, the drinks started flowing.

As the evening wore on, you noticed Heechul’s eyes repeatedly drifting toward Tzuyu. From the moment he saw her, it was clear what his intentions were. His predatory gaze, the same one you’d witnessed with other interns, made your blood simmer. He was so zeroing in.

Tzuyu, who was carefully sipping her beer, had stiffened as Heechul sauntered over with a smug grin, the two small glasses in his hand wobbling slightly from how much he’d already consumed.

“Hey, Tzuyu, right?” Heechul drawled, leaning on the table beside her. “Let’s do a love-shot. It’s for team bondinggg~” He flashed her a grin, his voice dripping with sleaze.

Tzuyu froze, glancing away uncomfortably. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, I don’t really drink..” she murmured, clearly looking for a way out.

“Oh, come onnn~!” Heechul leaned in closer, his body practically pinning her against the wall which happened to be your back. “Don’t be shy. It’s just one drink~!”

That was enough.

Without missing a beat, you stood from your seat, a little unsteady from your own drinks but filled with purpose. 

“Boss-nim, how about… you come here!” You feigned excitement while the whole tables’ eyes were on you two

In a few steps you guided him and you closed the distance, slipping Heechul away from Tzuyu smoothly, effortlessly blocking her from his sight with your body while wrapping your forearm around his.

“How about this, Boss-nim?” you said with a playful grin, your voice steady despite the alcohol in your system. “Why don’t we take that love-shot together!?”

You leaned in closer, one arm propped against the wall beside his head, the other smoothly taking one of the glasses from his hand.

Heechul blinked, visibly surprised but clearly intrigued by your boldness. His smirk widened. “Oh? I didn’t think you’d be so forward, Intern #5.”

God did you hate this man.

You internally rolled your eyes as you tilted your head, giving him a fake smile. “Why not? I’m a big team player, right? ” You clinked his glass, maintaining your position between him and Tzuyu.

Heechul's initial shock melted into something more. His grin grew cockier, but now with a hint of appreciation. He raised his glass, eyeing you with newfound interest. “Well, you’ve got guts, I’ll give you that.”

You turned out to the table of people watching, letting the tension simmer. “To teamwork! ” You said, your voice is just loud enough for your table to hear.

Heechul clinked his glass against yours, his gaze still locked onto you. “To teamwork,” he echoed.

You both threw back the shots, and while the burn of the alcohol hit your throat, you couldn’t help but hide a face of disgust at the sight of Heechul staring at you with a mix of admiration and something else entirely.

As you set your glass down, you noticed some of the female coworkers nearby watching you both, whispering among themselves.

“Wow, did you see that?” one of them murmured, clearly impressed. “She totally flipped the situation and helped that one girl”

“Right? That was so smooth. She’s got some serious charm.”

“I think Heechul-nim’s  into her now.”

“Hell— I’m even into her now! What’s her name?”

Their whispers weren’t exactly quiet, and the compliments floated through the air, filling the space around you. You caught snippets of their words, and even in your slightly tipsy state, you could feel the heat rise to your cheeks due to flattery.

But then, you glanced at Tzuyu. Her usually soft expression was tight, her eyes focused on the table, hands gripping her drink a little too tightly. She wasn’t saying anything, but there was something in her silence—something that felt like quiet jealousy.

Before you could process it, Heechul broke the moment by leaning in toward you with a grin. “I’ve got to say, Intern #5, you’re full of surprises.”

You chuckled, but there was no mistaking the sharp edge in your voice. “Gotta keep you on your toes, right boss-nim? Can’t let you make just anyone uncomfortable!” You said while slipping back into your seat

His laughter boomed through the room, seemingly laughing off that sly jab, the other colleagues joined in, you felt Tzuyu’s presence beside you, still silent, still reserved. You turned toward her, catching her gaze for just a brief moment, her eyes meeting yours before she quickly looked away, her expression unreadable.

Leaning down slightly, you whispered to her, “Hey, you okay?”

Tzuyu nodded, though her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yeah, just... tired. Maybe I’ll head home soon.”

“Oh! Please, I can walk you home,” you suggested, voice slightly slurred from the alcohol but laced with genuine concern.

Tzuyu glanced at you for a brief moment, her face unreadable. “Alright,” she finally said, her voice soft but clipped as she grabbed her things.

You both bowed respectfully to thank everyone for the dinner before slipping out the door, the cool night air a stark contrast to the warmth inside.

The silence stretched between you as you followed behind her. Her long strides made it hard to keep up, and you couldn’t help but feel that she was walking with a certain purpose—like she was intentionally trying to get ahead of you while you were left following her like a loyal dog.

“Tzuyu-ya, what’s wrong?” you called after her, your voice slightly breathless as you struggled to close the distance. She kept walking, her pace unfaltering, and for a moment, you wondered if she was genuinely trying to avoid you.

“Tzuyu-ya,” you called again, a little louder this time as she reached the edge of the bridge near her apartment. In a moment of panic, you gently grabbed her arm to stop her.

She froze.

“I’m so sorry… did I make you uncomfortable? Did you want Hee—” you started to ask, words tumbling out in your haste to apologize. Your heart sank at the mere thought that maybe you had overstepped, that maybe she had wanted to—

“Yes! You made me uncomfortable!” Tzuyu interrupted, spinning around to face you, her cheeks flushed. Her eyes shone with an emotion you couldn’t quite place, but it wasn’t anger.

You blinked, shocked. “I’m sorry... I thought you were trying to get away from—” Trying to explain

“You were being too cute!” Tzuyu blurted out, cutting you off again, her face flushed even darker as she averted her gaze, clearly flustered.

Your eyes widened at her sudden admission. "W-What?"

“You were being charming... in front of other women!” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest like a pouting child. “Why would you do that? Are you trying to attract them? It was too charming!”

It all hit you at once. Her awkward silence, her reservedness during dinner—it wasn’t because of Heechul, it was because of you. Even through the fog of alcohol, you suddenly understood.

You took a step closer to her, your heart racing. “Tzuyu, I—” you began, but her vulnerability was so palpable in that moment, it stopped you in your tracks.

Without thinking, you reached up, cupping the right side of her face with your hand. Her skin was warm beneath your palm, and her breath hitched as your thumb gently caressed her cheek.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly, your voice low but steady. “I won’t do that again. I promise... my charm will only be saved for you, my Tzuyu.” You gave her a sweet smile

Tzuyu’s eyes flickered with something raw and unguarded as she looked up at you, absentmindedly nuzzling into your hand, her vulnerability so clear in the way she held your gaze. “It better be,” she murmured, though her words carried no real bite.

In that moment, the air between you felt thick with something unspoken, an invisible thread pulling you closer to her. Your heart pounded as you realized what you had/wanted to do.

Or maybe it was the alcohol in your veins? Or maybe the sheer need to kiss her right in that moment.

Tzuyu’s eyes met yours, wide and vulnerable, but she didn’t pull away. She held your gaze, her breath shallow, her lips parted just slightly as if waiting for something—for you to make the first move.

And so, you did.

Without another word, you gently tilted her chin up with your thumb, leaning in slowly, giving her plenty of time to stop you if she wanted to. But she didn’t. Her eyes fluttered shut, and the warmth of her skin beneath your hand only urged you closer.

Your lips met hers in a soft, tentative kiss—almost like a question. She responded with a slight, shy press of her lips against yours, her breath catching as the kiss deepened. You could feel the soft tremble of her shoulders beneath your hands, as if she was just as unsure and just as eager.

For a brief moment, the world outside disappeared—The bridge, the distant city sounds—all of it melted away.

When you finally pulled back, your forehead rested against hers, both of you catching your breath. You felt her fingers brush against your hand, hesitant but full of meaning, as if she was silently asking, What now?

You smiled softly, your thumb tracing her cheek one last time before you whispered, “I meant it. It’s just you, my Tzuyu.”

Her lips curled into a small, bashful smile as she whispered back, “Just me.”

Maybe come Monday you’ll ask Jihyo for a permanent position on the third floor.

[zoeythebee]

How To Make Your Code Actually Good

This is about programming structure and organization. Resources online are very sparse, and usually not super helpful. Which was unhelpful to me who was struggling with code organization.

So I wanted to make this, which will explain how best to structure your code based on what I've learned. What I lay out here may not work for everyone but it works well in my experience.

These resources were very helpful for me

Handmade Hero - https://youtu.be/rPJfadFSCyQ

Entity Component System by The Cherno - https://youtu.be/Z-CILn2w9K0

Game Programming Patterns - https://gameprogrammingpatterns.com/

So, let's get started.

So first we need to cover a few terms. These are Decoupling, and Abstraction.

Decoupling

So, when we code there is only so much information we can keep inside of our brain at one time. If we kept all of our code in a single file, we would have to keep in mind every single line of code we have written thus far. Or, more likely, we would actively ignore certain lines that aren't relevant to whichever problem we are trying to solve. And miss possible errors by skipping over lines we didn't know were important.

This is bad, what we need to do is decouple our code. Decoupling just means to break something up.

We need to split our code into smaller more manageable pieces so that we can focus better on it without cluttering up our brain with useless information.

For example lets take into account a basic game loop

int main(){

bool running = true;

// Game init code

while(running){

// Game update code

}

// Game exit code

return 0;

}

Obviously in a real example this would be much larger. So an extremely good start would be moving chunks of code into different functions.

int main(){

bool running = true;

gameInit();

while(running){

gameUpdate();

}

gameExit();

}

Now, when we are working on loading the game, we shouldn't have to think about what's happening in the rest of the app. This may take moving some code around inorder to truly seperate it from the rest of the code. But it is a very worthwhile effort.

Abstraction

Abstraction is when we take complex pieces of code and put them inside of a function or structure to make that feature easier to use. Or to hide tiny details that would be a waste of time to type out over and over.

For example programming languages are abstracted away from Assembly. Which of course is a thin abstraction away from machine code.

Now abstraction is great, computer science is practically built ontop of abstracting away small details. but the point I'd like to make here is that you can go too crazy with abstraction.

If you are making a gui application, and you need to create a new button. And to do so you need to run a function that returns a new class that you pass into another function that returns a pointer to an app state that you use with the original class to interact with a gui state that takes in a general state class and a position.

You have abstracted too far away to actually getting that button on screen. And due to all the hoops your code has to go through you will face major performance hits as well. And nobody likes a slow program.

Generally my rule of thumb is one layer of abstraction. Obviously for really complex stuff like graphics more abstraction is required. But for our own apps we should strive to as little abstraction as possible. Which makes code more clear and easier to debug, if a little more verbose at times.

Note that breaking things up into other files and functions are pretty cheap abstraction/performance wise. But the number of steps your code has to go through is what's important. Like the number of objects you have to go through, and functions you have to run.

Now these are good general tips for programming. There are also other good tips like consistent naming conventions, and consistent function names and argument patterns. But that's all pretty basic good-programming-things-you-should-do.

Now when I was learning this sort of stuff, I got told a lot of the stuff I just put above. But the biggest question I had was "but where do I PUT all of my code?"

As projects grow in complexity, figuring out sane ways to organize your structures and code logic in a way that makes sense is pretty tricky.

So to kinda crystallize how I think about code organization is basically.

Pick a pattern, and stick to it

A design pattern is just a piece of code structure you repeat. And there are lots of smart people that have come up with some pretty smart and flexible patterns. Like entity component systems, and state machines.

But sometimes you have to figure out your own, or modify existing patterns. And the best way to do that is to not plan at all and jump right in.

Do a rough draft of your app just to get a general idea of what you are going to need your pattern to support. And you may have to build up a pattern, find out it sucks, and start over. The trick is to fail fast and fail often.

Grabbing some paper and trying to diagram out how you want your app to flow is also handy. But getting your hands dirty with your keyboard is the best.

Now if you are new to programming, the above method probably wont work the first time. The only way to really learn code architecture is by building apps, and when you are first starting out many of your apps are probably falling apart early on. But the more you build these apps the more you learn. The bigger the apps you make, the more you learn.

But there is something that's also very helpful.

Steal somebody else's pattern!

So I can explain this best with an example. I make games, and the complexity I have to deal with is having multiple game objects that can all interact with each other fluidly. Enemies, the player, collectibles, moving platforms. This is a pretty tricky task, and I wound up picking two patterns to follow.

The first one is a modified version of a State Machine that I call a Scene Manager.

A scene is essentially a structure that contains an init, update, and exit function and can store data relating to the scene. And I have a Scene Manager that I can dynamically load and unload scenes with. So if I need to create a main menu or a pause menu it's as easy as loading a scene.

For my actual game scene I chose to use an Entity Component System. I linked a video above that explains it very well. To summarize, an ECS use entities. Entities can contain data called components. And systems will grab any entity that has the required components and will modify that entity. For example a Move system will operate on any entities that have the Position and Velocity components.

And this has worked very well for my game. Now this doesnt solve every problem I had. I still had to fill in the gaps with code that doesnt 100% match the pattern. After all there isnt any pattern that will fix all possible issues a codebase needs to solve. For example to delete an entity I have to add it by reference to an array where it is deleted AFTER the game is done updating.

Elsewhere I used a bit of abstraction to make creating entities easier. For example i created a class that stores methods to create entities. Whereas before I was manually adding components to empty structures.

Decoupling entity creation meant I could focus on more important things. I also deal with window resizing and rendering in a layer outside of the scene. In a way that would affect all Scenes.

An Example

In the game I'm making, the most complex part of the program so far is the player update code. Which makes sense for a platformer. So the issue is simple, it's getting too long. But the other issue is things are in places that don't immediately make sense. And it's all packed inside a single function.

You can view the code as it is now here.

Our goal is to decouple the code into pieces so that it takes up less brain space. And to reorganize the function so it's layout makes more immediate sense.

So my first step is to figure out a logical way to organize all of this code. My plan is to split it up by player actions. This way all of the jump logic is inside it's own function. All of the shooting logic is in it's own function etc.

Here is the code after implimenting the pattern.

Notice how this decouples the code into more manageable pieces so we can work on it better. Also note how I am still keeping one layer of abstraction from the player update code. I also put it in a seperate file to slim down the systems file.

So the method I implemented here of observing a problem, coming up with a pattern, and implementing it. That at a larger scale is how to overall structure a good code base. Here in this small instance I found a working solution first try. But for more complex code you may have to try multiple different patterns and solutions before you find what works best.

And that's all I have to say. I hope it made sense, and I hope it helps you. Let me know if I should change anything. Thanks for reading!

[erazonpo3]

I'm a little late to the #webcomicday party but I still thought it'd be fun to break down my process a little bit using the latest Way Out chapter as an example!

So I have a rough outline for the whole comic but I don't go into too much detail planning each story arc until I'm about to get stuck into it. The rough outline is for jotting down ideas as they come along, acting as a skeleton for what will eventually happen, while the more detailed arc outlines are for plotting and pacing the story beats.

Planning each chapter out like this means that each one feels like its own mini-story, and more importantly, stays on track and achieves something to further the story or character progression. You'll notice that the chapter notes are still pretty barebones, which leaves me room to fine tune the smaller beats within the script.

Then, it's scripting time! I'll only have a script for the chapter I'm working on and a script for the next chapter, so as I'm currently working on Chapter 66 I have a script for chapter 66 & 67 but not 68. This is ideal for me in keeping the story flexible, allowing me to take a chapter in a bit of a different direction without feeling tied to a whole arc's worth of scripts that I'll need to rework otherwise.

Around 20 panels is the sweet spot for a chapter of Way Out; there are some with fewer and some with more, but shooting for that number makes me think about whether a scene ought to be extended or cut down in order to meet that goal. If I only plan out 18 panels then I can probably squeeze something extra in, while if I plan out 23 panels, I have a look and see if there isn't anything that can't be condensed.

The scripts themselves are pretty sparse, mostly just dialogue with basic action notes that I highlight as I finish. I'm usually pretty good with visualising things in my mind so the notes are more of a reminder to self about angles & expressions more than anything- if this were a collaborative project I'd probably put more effort into making it descriptive, but it's not.

I've never been one for thumbnailing, which is bad comic practice, I know. But once I have my script I just want to get stuck straight into drawing and don't like slowing down to jot down what is already pretty vivid in my head when I can just. draw the thing.

(a large part of why I started my first webcomic in the vertical format is because you don't need to consider variety in panelling and page flow, which is something thumbnails are very important for).

And so the sketching begins! My sketches are rarely pretty with little focus on anatomy and shape and more focus on blocking and size. I use Procreate to draw the panels and its resizing tool has a tendency to obliterate the quality, which I can sharpen in small amounts but it saves a lot of pain if I plan it all out in the ugly stage.

In some ways I often prefer the sketches to the clean lineart, but that's mostly the stylistic scratchy-ness of it that I have to do away with in favour of clean lines. I'm not always super proud of the art in the end but not every panel needs to be a masterpiece and it's all practice. I think a quantity over quality approach is kind of necessary if you want to make a comic and not lose your mind.

I sharpen up and clean any spots up as I go, but once they're all done I glue all the panels together on my desktop so that I can adjust the spacing between them, then I cut them back up again into smaller slices for posting! And that's the whole chapter process!

I also have a quick (and by quick I mean 4 minute) rough timelapse of chapter 65's coloured panel I can post, if anyone would be interested in seeing that, but it'll probably need to be its own post bc it'll crash this one.

[ikeromantic]

Hiiii, sorry to bug you but can you do a Mozart x f reader angst where MC has pretty low self esteem, but has SUPER bad coping mechanisms and Mozart tries to get MC help but she's very stubborn about not getting it, kinda like Tracy and Mel in thirteen. (if you've seen it ofc) Have a great rest of your day/night😁

I have not seen Thirteen (Reasons Why)! But it is on my watch list ^_^ I have to carefully measure out how much drama and angst I take in or it will eat up my writing! Approx. 1100 words of hurt, self harm, and comfort.

Mozart saw the changes in her as if he were reading notes on a page. The self-deprecating twist to her lips, the way she began avoiding everyone when she wasn’t working. Avoiding him. At first, he tried to pretend not to care. When she brought him his meals in the music room, he gave her exactly what she gave him.

Disinterest. 

They sparred with cruel words and cold looks, and every encounter left Mozart’s heart bruised. He did not understand what he’d done wrong. They’d been growing close - close enough that he held her hand. Shared a glass of wine. Told each other secrets never shared with another. And then after one recital at a noble estate, she’d gone dark on him. Dark and distant as a new moon. 

He remembered the night, if only because he’d found her in the gardens, crying. And she wouldn’t say why. He’d been surprised at her reticence then. Now, he felt it was the first shiver of this shift into a woman he felt he barely knew. There were only sparse moments, unguarded, when he could see his darling looking out her hooded eyes. 

Mozart wanted more than anything to bridge the gap between them. To understand why she was so angry, and what pain lay under that rage. He made a plan, as carefully as he drafted his compositions. The chorus was simple - ask and learn what lurked in her shadowed heart. But the melody . . . what note to begin? What key? What tempo?

He waited until she was in her room one evening, and fetched a few of her favorite things. Tea with a dollop of honey. Ginger cookies. A strawberry candy. Then he made his way there, tray in hand. Mozart considered knocking, but she might tell him to go away. That would ruin the whole plan. So he quietly opened the door, thankful it was unlocked. 

The sight within froze him midstep. She sat crosslegged on the floor in front of a candle. Her forearm was held above the hungry flame, blistering her flesh in a scarlet welt. Worse was her expression. Pained, of course, because the fire burned. But satisfied. As if she deserved what she gave herself. And disgust, a hatred for her own weakness.

Mozart recognized it, because he felt something akin to it as well. In his endless disappointments, his pathetic fears, his failures. He dropped the tray and lurched toward her, unsure what he would do but feeling he must do something. The door swung shut behind him, the tea spilled across the carpet, and the treats scattered over the floor.

She looked up, her face going slack with surprise. “What-” Her words cut short as he extinguished the candle and kicked it out of the way. Despite his smallish frame, Mozart had the strength of a vampire. And he used it now to haul her to her feet and into his arms. 

He did not realize he was crying. Nor did he see her face crumple at this sudden, unexpected embrace. “What are you doing, meine liebe? Your arm!” He gently touched the length of it, running his fingertips over half-healed burns and the scabs of old cuts. 

His words seemed to remind her that she should be angry at his invasion. She struggled to push him away, slapping at his chest and hands. “Let me go! What the fuck, Wolf?”

“No,” he replied, his voice soft but full of an inner steel. 

She slapped him. Hard. For a moment, Mozart saw white, nothing but an explosion of pain as his jaw slipped out of true, straining the tendons and ligaments in his neck and face. If he were a normal man, it would have broken. He’d have a bruise. But his flesh set to repairing itself almost as soon as the injury took place. 

He did not let go. “Meine engel, stop fighting me. Tell me what this is? What have you done? Why . . .” He jerked her arm straight, displaying the injuries for them both. 

“Why do you care,” she spat. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, hot and angry. She pushed against him again. “Just - just let go, damn it! Get out!” The last word was more a howl than language, the sound of a soul in agony. 

Mozart could no more let go than he could cut off his own arm. He pulled her close instead, enduring the scrape of her sharp little nails, the hardness of her elbows and knees. She fought him with everything she had, until she exhausted herself and there were only tears left. 

When she collapsed against him in defeat, he held her. Silent but for her crying. What could he say? He did not know what words could set this right. Could not understand what drove her to this - this mutilation of her precious flesh. The harm to her body and soul, both of which he had come to love so much. 

“Just leave.” Her voice shook, tired and full to the brim with emotion. 

“I won’t. I can’t.” He pressed his forehead to her cheek, frustrated.

“Why not? Wh-why?” 

Mozart swallowed his own pride, his fear of rejection, and replied. “I love you. You are so - so very precious to me.” He kissed her cheek. The line of her jaw. The crook of her neck. “I love you so much I am mad with it. I’ve missed you so, these last weeks.”

“You don’t.” She turned her face from him. “You - you love music. I’m just . . . stupid. Useless. Pathetic.” Her hands clenched, white-knuckled, driving her nails into her palms. 

He lifted the fist to his lips and kissed each finger, slowly prying them loose until he could see her palm. Scored with little angry red crescents. He kissed those too. “You are none of those things. You are so strong, to come here and make a life for yourself. Far from everything you know. So smart, to learn so many new skills . . . my sweet. Meine liebling. Meine perle.”  

She gave a snort of disgust, pain still bright in her eyes. “I distract you. You’re b-better off -”

Mozart put a finger to her lips. “No. Never. I did not realize I was missing something, until you.”

Her eyes searched his face, hope and uncertainty wedded in that gaze. After a long silent moment, she laid her head on his shoulder and clung to him. 

There was nothing for him to do but hold her, and so he did. He sat with her on his lap, stroking her back in careful circles. He spoke too, words of love, endearments from his heart. Things he had never been able to speak until this night, until he realized how close he’d come to losing her to herself.

[askbeannuts]

I got to work with the leader of that new Shaymin Guild recently. They're very nice, very smart and is “articulate” the right word? Well, either way, they needed some assistance with a guild base of operations and we settled on Yggdrasil first and foremost, but their concerns were response times too, I could get behind that mindset, but I didn't want to waste resources or spread myself super thin with multiple sites, instead I suggested a squad system, like older exploration guilds, except the teams station or live in areas away from the guild, it's what I was doing!

They took my suggestion to heart from the looks of it, but made some modifications, considerations for small sub-bases? So one in each section of the skies… it sounds doable, but would take years beyond them to set up correctly I'd bet… not to mention running them all would be a nightmare in my opinion. I think my squad system works effectively enough but maybe a mini base idea isn't bad either… ah, but I got sidetracked! 

Unlike our guild, which had huge numbers now, they were still getting off the ground and receiving a request to follow up on a prior abduction case in the Southern Isles was odd, but exciting considering it was our first proper teamup.

The Shaymin Guild's Guildmaster and their “Co-Guildmaster”, a Smeargle, accompanied a few members of my Guild, and myself of course, on this trip. We returned to an island sparsely populated, where in the recent past an outlaw, attempting to extort a small-time merchant during a resource collection trip with their child, took that child hostage. Initially, we were able to find and bring the child to safety, but never found the outlaw. Apparently they ran off to set up a trap for us, but never came back… the child mentioned weird wind-like sounds and rumbling not long after and then my team arrived. We weren't skilled at exploring dungeons like this, simplistic as it was, it ended up being a “one-floor” dungeon, but the team decided against investigating further. While it was a simple cave bearing random berries and fruits on occasion along huge vines and bushes and whatnot, we didn't want to risk it back then. 

The Shaymin Guildmaster gave it the title “Berry Caverns” when we ventured in and the team with me took note that the small cave paths were different than they remembered… The dungeon had “shifted” recently. The reason we were investigating this place again was because of a report of strange voices coming from behind a wall… maybe a “Wild”, we weren't sure at the time, but dread did fill my and my fellow Guildmaster's hearts at the idea that… the dungeon shifted when we rescued the child back then… and the missing outlaw…

We found the spot, a huge hole where a vine reached down… this was supposed to be a wall, it wasn't far from where we found the child-and that path was now a wall with bushes growing various weird berries… I’ve explored dungeons before, mind you, both before and after the Cataclysm… just… this new way things worked was weird, I’m certain if a dungeon had a dramatic change with someone inside, who happened to be in the “right” spot, they’d get flung out by an intense wind… at least that’s how my parents described them.

My thoughts aside, we carefully took the time to climb down this vine, following it in the hopes of finding this “voice” alive still. It was a long climb-and walk-downwards and we didn’t have those new “Pin” things the Research Guild came up with yet, and were still carrying around hunks of metal on our necks like charms, and they worked… But I could feel it. This place was dense with that Miasma, why? I asked that at the time, but my question was answered immediately… The massive amount of Miasma we passed through was like a “door”... once we passed through it, the environment we found… was devoid of it. It left us all speechless… a massive tree was growing underneath this dungeon!

Before anyone could say anything in sheer amazement, the Shaymin Guildmaster acted, anxiously telling us to contact both the Research Guild and the Landorus Guild’s leaders and get them here as fast as possible. That request reminded me of why we were originally here as well, and we discovered a-thankfully-unconscious outlaw, it appeared they had fallen down here when the dungeon shifted slightly and injured their leg so much that they weren’t walking or climbing out for some time. They survived off of whatever fruits and berries grew down here and the juices they could get from them for hydration, I’d imagine… it’d been nearly two weeks since then after-all… that’s how often dungeons were shifting of late…

After making sure a communication was being sent, we nervously left the Shaymin Guildmaster and their co-leader there, to escort the outlaw out. At some point, hours later it seemed, the Guildmaster and Co-Guildmaster of the Shaymin Guild came out to talk with us. They figured the path we took led us to a spot directly above where the Beanstalk’s vines branched out, the dungeon was underneath one of these points, allowing us to venture that deep… we weren’t in Berry Caverns anymore at that point. Knowing that, it was a sheer miracle that the only thing broken on the Outlaw was a leg…

After a few days of discussing how we’d go about documenting this, the leaders of the Landours and Research Guilds showed up… and we once again ventured back down there…

It was decided I could document the discovery in my own journals, including an image that was drawn at the time… though what we discovered after this point, I was asked not to disclose, but what I can say is that a new push to find these types of dungeons and study them was what likely led us to venturing into the Lands Below for the very first time… 

Though, I remember the issues it caused when we started just… digging up holes everywhere when no dungeon was found to be linked to the beanstalk in Yggdrasil… urgh… the sinkholes we created still bother me to this day…

An Excerpt From: "The Founder’s Book: Xerneas Guild"

[hollowsart]

My reviews of free art apps I'm testing on my phone:

NOTE: These are based on my preferences and opinions. I don't use a lot of apps and tend to stick to just 1. Please do not use this as a basis for whether or not you yourself should get the apps, it is best if you test them out yourself as they may be beneficial or even different for you and your set up.

Medibang Paint: 8/10 (not uninstalling, keeping for the files)

it was a 10/10 but then they updated and now it's not as great. lost another point when it started bugging out. Otherwise the app is extremely good. zooming, the image is still crisp, the strokes may be pixels, but I don't mind it. the UI is very clean and clear. you can see and understand the icons for each button and tool, easy access to everything you need + you are able to customize the brush settings and get some fun and unique textures out of it. it's super user and beginner friendly without the need for a "tutorial" to hold your hand in figuring out what things do and what they are.

I would gladly accept suggestions for free drawing apps similar to Medibang. or any cheap app that may cost money, because if Medibang refuses to behave, I may need to make a decision that I really would rather not make.

Ibis Paint X: 1/10

confusing UI. doesn't matter the DPI, you zoom in and every brush stroke is extremely blurry for some reason and that really messes with my eyes. extremely tedious to figure out, you would need to spend an extensive amount of time trying to find everything to understand the app. this app is like the opposite of Medibang. Even with the tutorial holding your hand to figure out what is what and where, it is still extremely confusing and unclear.

Autodesk Sketchbook: 2/10 (used to use you on kindle)

nothing like how it was on my kindle. on an older phone of mine it lagged so bad and had a different type of overall UI setup going for it, but I was able to at least draw something on that one despite the ungodly lag. this one? just as bad and unclear as Ibis Paint X, except the tools and settings are not scattered on the screen. you have to click an unclear button to find the brushes to change them and then another unclear button to customize them. the quality of the strokes are just about the same as Ibis Paint X in that they are extremely blurry.

Infinite Painter: 3/10

the UI is still sparse. a tutorial is shown telling you what is what and overall less tools visible than the previous 2 apps, this is unfortunate. However, the brushes are not blurry, but are pixelated like Medibang. a slight odd latency when making a stroke, not something I'm fond of, personally, but the selection of brushes aren't too bad, I suppose. Not for me tho. got distracted playing with the brushes and textures, but I don't think I'll be drawing anything. I would say if you're not put off by things here, you could probably get used to this and enjoy it. definitely better than the others listed besides Medibang.

the brush collage:

Clip Studio Paint: 1/10

first time trying this one out. took the longest to install. it takes a weirdly long time to start up?? definitely not a great first impression here. too clicky and sticky with the rotation, tedious to navigate to do anything. wow this app is not great. it looks horrible with the UI, too. clean screens are not good. it's off-putting. also it is by default recording me draw??? the heck? seems to be only 1 brush option, little to no actual customization of the brush. no clue where the layers were if there were any at all. overall?

Sketchbook Lite: 0/10

immediate ads. forces you into an ad that says 'start free trial then pay $14.99 a month uwu' instant hate. stroke quality is blurred, UI is WAY too empty. I like the dark mode, but YIKES. you exit out of the app for a sec and then back in and you are smacked in the face with the same invasive ads as you started out with. you are NOT getting my money that I do not even have to begin with. instant uninstall.

[swangtup6]

Album Review: Sort Vokter - Folkloric Necro Metal (1996)

Sort Vokter was an ambient black metal band active in mid 90s Norway. This album is their only release and has a bit of a cult following (a lot of people in the comments section of the video I'm listening to it on right now claim that it's "perfect"). Does it live up to the hype? Let's discuss.

The first thing to note is that on this album, every instrument is played by a different member of the band on each track, like the bassist on track 2 might be the vocalist on track 3 and the keyboardist on track 4. It's a cool concept, but I don't know how well it benefits this band's music.

The guitar on this album is one of the weakest parts. The guitar is SUPER fuzzed out and distorted, to the point where it's essentially just white noise, with no discernable riffs or melody (at least for the first couple tracks, and after that it cleans up a bit). However, even after the tone cleans up and becomes more melodic, the riffs aren't anything engaging at all, they're very generic and sound lazy.

Next is the bass. The bass is really audible, which is cool, except it also has a shit tone and is annoying as fuck. It's black metal, I don't wanna be blasted in the face with distorted ass bass every single track for like 40 minutes straight, it's annoying. And the only way you can identify any melody or riffs outside of the synths IS THE BASS, which is really just not something I like at all. It sounds like shit, it was a stupid idea, I hate it.

Third, the drums. The drums on this album are programmed, which usually isn't something I have a problem with, except they sound Really Bad on this album. I think it's the very clear, spaceus mix, but every time they play the crash cymbal on this album all I can hear is how fake it sounds. The actual programming isn't that bad, I wish it was more human, but the drums mostly just plod along with very basic blasts, not even particularly fast. They just hold the pace, which, given the stripped down nature of this album, is a positive. Overall the drums are a mixed bag, but ignoring the fake cymbal makes them pretty decent for what they're intended to do.

The synths are one of the highpoints of this album. They add a ton of great atmosphere, fill out the sparse mix, and add most of the melody to this album. I honestly wish they'd used them MORE if anything. However, it doesn't seem like this album was supposed to be very melodic, as the melodies are supremely basic, relatively boring, and overall just not satisfying or good enough to be a reason to listen to this album.

And now, the vocals. The vocals are probably my favorite thing on this album, which is crazy because they're pretty mid. They're very typical 90s norwegian black metal vocals, and I can't think of anything they do better than their contemporaries. They're not bad at all. In fact, they're quite decent. They're just not anything beyond that.

Finally, the BOGO deal of the production and atmosphere. These are very linked, so I'll talk about them together. As I mentioned a little before, the production on this album is very sparse and has a lot of space. I like this quality a lot actually, I think it fits the album well and gives it a somewhat light and airy feel that is genuinely quite pleasant. I'd be surprised if these guys hadn't gone to like... a legit studio and paid decent money for a mixing engineer too. However, it's still a VERY clean mix, almost slick. And this is black metal. This album, for the most part, is incredibly high fidelity, which isn't a positive. I tend to like RAW black metal specifically, and because this doesn't sound like it was recorded on a potato, it doesn't appeal to me as much as it could.

Overall, I think this album is pretty bland and underwhelming, as well as overproduced. I think it's worth checking out, but it's not the kind of thing I can see myself revisiting anytime soon if at all.

5.7/10

Standout Track: Tårers sang

[wildechild17]

Mag 7 wip

something I'm working on as a side project for NaNo, decided I'd share a little (not really) excerpt here, just because i could

Sam Chisolm wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but as he stood in the sparsely decorated apartment in London, it wasn’t… this.

It was, in fact, sparse. There was a small kitchen, a couch with a pullout that looked slept in, a bathroom, and a tiny closet. It was by no means a luxury place, but it was just one level above being condemned, if you asked Sam.

The man’s heart broke a little as he took it in. There was no sign of the occupant he was looking for, not that he knew who he was looking for—his boss had simply given him this address and said the person who lived here would be a good addition to the team if Sam could convince them.

Given the fact of who the rest of the team was made up of, Sam had two guesses as to whose place he was standing in. Past experiences told him one was more likely than the other.

Something caught his eye, a leatherbound book sitting among the blankets on the pullout. Curious, Sam wandered over, reaching for the book. He flipped through it, noting it was some mix between a journal and a scrapbook. The first entry dated back to just over eleven years ago, and Sam couldn’t help but read.

9-29-12

I’ve always known my family had powers… how could I not, when mom uses hers to heal those in our family, and when both she and gran have told me about other members of our… bloodline? Apparently, the blood is important… and their abilities.

I just assumed, like everyone before me, that it skipped generations… Instead, I woke up this morning with my own abilities. Powers… magic? I like the idea of calling it magic. Who knows, I may have them sooner and didn’t realize it… Skipper had died during the night, and when mom and Aunt Elenore asked who I was greeting this morning because to them it was empty air… I told them Skip, and I was then informed he’d passed in his sleep, so how could I be seeing him?

One quick test later, my mom declared that a) I had magic, and b) it could be classified as necromancy. That’s… a terrifying, truthfully, prospect, but… I can handle it. I hope.

At least it’s the weekend before fall break, so mom can help me figure out how to start managing it. I’m in senior year, so it’s not like I’ll have to hide it from the others as school for long. If I go to college, I can get by with strictly online classes, I think.

Mom suggested I use a journal to track my progress, but I’ve never been the best at keeping records, even school wise. Hopefully with something to keep track of, that’ll change.

I’ll make another entry when something of importance happens, I guess.

10-10-12   10-9-12/10-10-12

What the fuck is my life, truly?

With the influx of my powers, came something else… my memories. I guess necromancy and reincarnation can go hand in hand, because this isn’t the first time I’ve lived. I started having dreams and flashbacks during break, of an older version of myself set back in the Wild West. I thought it was just some weird dream/fantasy thing since… well, since I’m sort of obsessed with that era, anyways, but… no. It all came rushing back to me, today, during fifth period, which is my study block this year.

We got a new student… which, in a small town like Salem, is kind of a cause for chatter, and I wasn’t really paying attention until the guy sat next to me. When I finally looked at him…

Son of a bitch… it’s Vasquez. It all came back to me—Sam Chisolm, Rose Creek, Bart Bogue…

I’m… sort of embarrassed to say that I had a total breakdown right then and there. Mom actually had to come and pick me up early, it was so bad. It’s super late (early?), right now, almost three in the morning, and I’ve been catatonic all afternoon, according to her. So, I guess all these events really happened yesterday?

I’m getting distracted… I told her what had happened, what’s been happening, and she… didn’t seem totally surprised. Fact is, she’s the one who gave me the idea that my reincarnation ties in with my powers. Something about death being involved, which… makes sense, in a weird way.

Mom offered to keep me out of school for the rest of the week, so I can recover, but… I don’t want to do that. Maybe a day or two, but not a week. I want to talk to Vas so I can Vasquez, so I can sort of explain things to him. Hopefully, it’ll go well…

10-13-12 Update: It… I didn’t explain the powers thing to him. I didn’t want to freak him out, but I did tell him why I had my breakdown on Monday. He understood, because when his memories came back to him, he was a wreck for a while too.

He came over for the afternoon, and mom and Aunt Elenore absolutely fell in love with him. Bastard put on the damn charm. We didn’t get any schoolwork done, not like we really planned to, but we did catch up on things. What’s been going on in our modern lives, and he told me a little about what happened after I died in Rose Creek… His family travels a lot in this life, for his dad’s work. He’s got two siblings, an older sister and younger brother. I couldn’t resist and had to make a crack about his ‘three Maria’s’… he asked where mine was.

… I told him Maria died when we were kids. He sobered up pretty quick… guess he could tell it was a sore subject.

Anyways… my magic practice is progressing well. Right now, I can just see spirits, which is weird because they look like just regular people—for the most part. I’ve seen a few grisly sights, but I’m learning how to pick their energies apart from the living, so I don’t make a fool of myself in public.

Oddly enough, Vasquez has a couple ghosts hanging around him…

Sam flipped through the journal, heart twisting in his chest as he noticed a few entries more prominent than others. One, over Christmas break, detailing why Vasquez had ghosts—his father was a hunter of the supernatural, and the revelation apparently caused a rift between the two boys before Vasquez’s father himself had put things to right. He’d put the hunting behind him and was trying to settle down with his family… he could have never expected his son to befriend a witch—which, that had led to Joshua admitting about himself…

Prom. They stopped dancing around their feelings for each other and became official, and that entry made Sam smile, as well as the photos of that night that accompanied the entry. They did make a handsome couple. That was where Vasquez’s writing started slipping in on a few pages, offering extra insight or his own commentary to whatever Joshua was writing.

Graduation. Maybe too quick to those who don’t know about… us, but Vasquez gave me a bloody promise ring tonight. (you’re not actually complaining, are you? Fuck you, I’m keeping it forever thought so) and detailing a rough plan of the future. Plans to stay in Salem long enough to get through college, before moving. Maybe they’d find where Rose Creek was, if it was somewhere they could move to, settle down there. Ideas about where the rest of their motley crew were…

College. Joshua went into Anthropology and the Occult (seriously, guero? Bite me, texican), and Vasquez Art and Architecture (you know there’s a joke about cliches in there somewhere, right? Don’t you dare). Joshua seemed to develop a minor side hobby (?) in helping people with their dead loved ones, the spirits who hadn’t crossed over because of unfinished business (Jennifer Love Hewitt, who?) When they’d both finished their studies… Joshua was the one who proposed.

There were photos of various moments, in those early years. High school included prom, graduation, senior trip, homecoming week. After high school showed moving into their first apartment together, as they worked through college, domestic moments, moments with their families, college graduation, of the proposal, and later, multiple photos from the wedding. Tickets to various date locations, movies, and festivals, were taped in as well. It seemed Joshua (and by some small extension, Vasquez) was eager to keep track of everything.

But just after their return from their honeymoon in August of twenty-fifteen, the entries stopped. The next one wasn’t dated until January of twenty-sixteen. Reading it, Sam felt his heart stop and blood run cold.

1-13-16 I’m sorry, Ale… I’m so sorry I couldn’t help you. I couldn’t… couldn’t save you. If I was faster… maybe you’d still be here. Maybe I could have… God, I’m crazy for thinking it… brought you back. If you’d wanted it… if maybe I’d seen you… your spirit, at least, maybe one more time, to ask…

There are limitations to my abilities… I can bring people back from the dead, but only within a set time… I didn’t make it with you… And I’m so sorry.

You must have crossed over. That’s the only reason I can think of to not see your ghost… it’d be just like you, too… you wouldn’t have wanted me to see you like that. I know you wouldn’t have. I know, but… goddammit it still hurts, you son of a bitch. If I could have just said goodbye…

… you were gone too soon. And those bastards… they’ll pay. Eventually, they’ll pay.

I’m sorry.

I… did find where Rose Creek is. It’s still a small town but thriving in today’s age. I’ll… I’ll go there. For us… for you.

Maybe I’ll find some sort of peace there.

Silence, for a few months, before another entry was made.

5-23-16 God, what have I done? I didn’t… I wasn’t… I didn’t mean for that to happen… I didn’t know I could do that.

I need to get away. From everyone. Anyone that I can hurt…

I’m so sorry Vas…

After that, there were no more entries. Sam flipped through the remaining blank pages and found nothing. Frowning, Sam went back to the last entry, and wondered what the hell might have happened for it to exist.

Actually, he wondered what happened in those last two entries in general—one was obvious. The other… not so much. He’d have to ask Matthew to investigate the dates mentioned, give or take a day or two. Surely, there’d be some sort of record online, somewhere—

“How the fuck did you get in here?”

Sam startled, the book falling from his hands and back on to the bed. He whirled around, coming eye to eye with Joshua Faraday. The first thing the older man noticed was how tired the redhead looked, with bags beneath his eyes, and skin pale. He stood as though the weight of the world was laid on his shoulders, but it didn’t distract from the, frankly, intimidating glare he was fixing Sam with.

“I know I locked the door when I left,” Joshua continued, and then his gaze flicked down to the journal on the bed, and his anger grew. He stood straight, and Sam swore the room grew colder and darker as Joshua set a bag of possible groceries on the floor, “You went looking through my personal things?!”

“Now, hold on just a minute, son—” Sam began.

“I’m not your son,” Joshua hissed, and there was no doubt about it—Joshua was altering the space around them. His eyes were beginning to glow, a toxic green that caused the hairs on the back of Sam’s neck to rise, “What are you doing here, Chisolm?”

“I came to offer you a job,” Sam said, quickly, and Joshua drew up short. A brief look of bafflement crossed his features as he stared at the older man, “That is, if you want it.”

The redhead crossed his arms, eyes narrowing.

“Explain,” he said, shortly, so Sam did.

He explained how he’d been tasked with bringing a crew together (yes, the rest of the Rose Creek bunch, for the most part…) and that while Joshua’s name hadn’t come up directly, Sam’s own bosses had suggested Joshua could be an integral part of the team. This team would be dealing with threats across the world, both natural and supernatural. Clearly, Joshua would be a good addition, if he wanted to join.

“But… I’m not pressing you to,” Sam said, quietly. He glanced down at the journal, then back to Joshua, “You’ve clearly been through a lot already.”

Joshua’s expression darkened, lips thinning, but he said nothing. Just stared at Sam with those eyes of his still glowing. But he was silent, and Sam took it for a good thing.

“… would you have come for me, if I hadn’t been brought up?” Joshua asked.

Sam blinked at the question, but answered nonetheless: “Eventually, yes. It wouldn’t have been fair not to include you and—” he faltered, only because Joshua pinned him with a venomous glare, “We want everyone we can get. We worked so well together, before.”

Silence, again, and Sam could tell Joshua was right on the edge of accepting the offer, he just needed one last push.

“Who killed him?” Sam asked, pitching his own voice low—after all, someone had mess with those he cared about. He was angry thinking about it; Joshua startled, so Sam asked again, “Who did it? We can go after the sons of bitches with you.”

Joshua’s jaw clenched.

“Hunters,” he ground out. “Ones who didn’t approve of his relationship with… with me. I don’t… I don’t have exact names, though.”

“Then come with me,” Sam offered, holding out his hand. “Together, we’ll help you figure out who did it, and we’ll see them get what they deserve.”

Joshua looked down at Sam’s extended hand, before he looked up at the man himself. The temperature returned to normal, and the shadows fell away. The glow in the witch’s eyes faded, but they still burned with anger and determination…

Joshua took Sam’s hand.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Chisolm.”

[cerealmonster15]

irt your tags (nothing negative, genuine speculation here), i wonder if it's a matter of perspective concerning the notes. like i see what you mean by being more specific in the notes, those are a good place to elaborate further about what's in there. as I see it, the tags are the full list of warnings a la "does the dog die" and other sites like that, while the notes are individual warnings for each chapter + background stuff. i write a lot of multi-chapter fics or vignette stuff, so having the notes be individualized tag specifications helps but I still feel the need to include it in the main tags as a full warning of what this particular fic will contain. like i dont want to suddenly jump someone with a discussion about gender identity in the middle of something, even when it's the most casual conversation and very blase. so instead of the reader coming across a note that says "there's gonna be gender discussion here" when they werent warned previously, i'd rather have a messy tag about gender discussions and then use the note to flag which chapter it is and how it plays out (eg how explicit, its function, etc.).

but that's just me, your thoughts def got me thinking though and its interesting to see how people interpret the archive tags - especially since i know that some people see them both as warning and advertisement

[about this post talkin ao3]

oh huh yeah i guess i didnt really think about the notes as like, extra misc warning spot! i mean kind of- im sure ive seen people use it that way and just not remembered lol. like it seems to me the notes are a much looser optional area - sometimes i dont read them [usually i do tho. i like bonus lore LOL] [but also sometimes i just forget to read even the tags and get jumpscared, but thats all a Me Thing lmao]

but i mean i think thats all super good! i dont disagree lol. having some messy tags isnt bad at all i dont think, within reason. i never thought much about multi chapter fics bc i both dont write them and barely ever read them [i am suddenly reminded one of the few multi chap fics i DO read updated recently and i forgot!!! i still gotta read it!!!]

i know for me i like to use the notes as like bonus thought process rattling zone and also bc i tbh struggle to tag things lol. im pretty sparse in the actual tags cuz i feel like thats where the core info should go, and then i do my "here's my thought process and the various hurdles i ran into every 5 seconds" rambling in the tags before/after lol, bc i figure thats just extra people can skip if they just wanna read the story. and i dont really write much in the way of triggering topics usually so i dont personally have extra stuff to warn about. that's an interesting take on how you use them! and probably very helpful lol. i'll have 2 remember that if i ever try to be brave for a multi chapter fic lmao

[pbandjesse]

My neck is doing better but is still very stiff. And I just had one of the worst charlie horses in my calf I have ever had. Like I can't fully stand up on my heel because it stretches my leg down and I am not having fun. And James is in New York and is sending me very confusing texts which has me all out of sorts. I don't like feeling so confused.

I didn't have a bad day though. It was fine. The best thing that happened today was finishing my blanket. That made me so happy. Helen said I was running around showing it off with a big smile like it was my baby. And it's true,n it feels that way.

I started the day feeling fine enough. I apparently snoozed my alarm though and I don't remember doing so which frustrated me. I would feel alright. Neck still stuff but not as painful. I got dressed and ready. I felt like I was forgetting something though and as we were leaving I realized I forgot my rings. James went back for them and that made me feel a little better.

Breakfast was correct this time. And we got to the market before 8. Even with leaving a few minutes late so I'm pretty impressed.

I was fully in charge today and because my focus was so much on that I was not a very good salesperson I always sold one sticker pack and that was it. But because I was getting paid to be there I don't care as much honestly. I was happy to stand at the market table next to my table and work on my blanket. I finished sewing the last rose together within the first hour and then I spent the next 2 hours working on the sewing down it tail ends. They're not all done but at least it's mostly finished and it looks great and I'm so proud of it. I think there's like 60 hours into this blanket. And I am really thrilled with the final product. I still might put a fleece back on it but honestly because I've sewn down the edges so well I don't even know if it needs it. I'm still really happy though and I just want everyone to know all about it.

I also had some really nice conversations with people. As people were getting set up I had to ask two of the smaller distilleries to be next to each other in one spot but there were super chill about it. And then because the charcuterie people came I had to move the Puerto Rican distillery all the way down to the end but I gave them the option for spots and they picked their favorite one so no one was mad at me. And then I found out that four of us are not going to be there next weekend so it's going to be kind of a sparse market because it's like Jenny and bread and food and it's I don't know what they're going to do without us. I'm the least of the concerns but still my energy will not be there.

James came out to buy breakfast and baked goods and while we were paying a woman was looking at my blanket and trying to understand them notes that I append to it and so I went over to chat with her and she was so nice and very encouraging. And I started explaining to some older women about at the construction and I was like you know a potholder loom this is essentially a blanket made a pod holders. And it made me laugh and it made them laugh and it was just a good way of explaining what I had done since I didn't have my wing with me to have a visual. But I very happily stood there and worked on sewing down those edges until about noon.

When I finally made a sale. I sold my sticker pack to a lovely girl around my age. And she ran over to her friends to tell them about the stickers and they were all very excited and I got a little boost of pride because they were so interested in my stickers. I need to order more of the jobs and I want to get some drawing done tomorrow. Tomorrow my big plan is to work on my Native American field trip PowerPoints. Because I have need two of them. I might just make one PowerPoint though and just like have a an opening and closing section but regardless I would like to also get a little bit of drawing done and some deciding on what my next stickers will be. I also would like at some point to make a better sticker display and packaging but for now I'm happy with what I got.

Once everyone was done at the market I packed up real quickly and went inside to talk to James and have them take a picture of me holding my blanket. And I chatted with Stanley and Bob and my neck was doing a lot better and my back was doing a lot better but I was still tired and I didn't want to stay till 2:00 but I stayed until everyone was out of the pavilion which is what I've been told to do in the past. I walked down to the water after sitting with James for a while. There were jellyfish and I was really excited about that because I love seeing the jellyfish in the harbor. And I even saw some fish and it was like a whole school of fish swimming back and forth and that was neat to see too. And honestly was a really beautiful day for how humid it could have been with the storms coming in tomorrow and this upcoming week. I was in a really good mood though and while I was very happy to be done and going home I was also not dying of exhaustion like sometimes I am.

After I said goodbye to James I got myself together in the car and went home. There was a little bit of traffic but it apparently cleared up before it became an issue. And I got home before 2:00.

When I got back here I brought my bags in and my blanket and hung the blanket up on my garment rack in the studio. I'm hoping that the weight of itself will pull the stitches a little bit so that I can see if there's any failure marks or failure points. Anything that needs to be reinforced. And I got a little shower and I changed into a soft shirt and then I laid down.

I watched a video for a little bit but then I fell asleep. I woke up at 4:00 as James was getting ready to go. They looked so handsome and it was just nice looking at them. I really could have gone with them to New York but I have no interest in seeing basketball game and it will be nice to get some work done tomorrow. Have some time alone. I gave them a very big hug and told them to be safe and then they were off.

I would get up soon after that and when and had some food. And then I played a game on my tablet for a little while and then I painted my nails. But I ended up messing up my pointer and thumb on my right hand because I started working on my next knit project and I could not wait until my nail polish was dry obviously so I messed it up and took it off those two fingers. Maybe I will repaint them later but I was very much into this new project.

The new knit squares are going to be much larger than the last ones they're 19 rows across instead of 12 which doesn't sound like it's that much more but it is. Originally with the small squares they take about 15 minutes, the new squares take 45 to an hour. I think I'll get faster as I'm going but I am very pleased with the size that I have chosen. I didn't have the right size hoop so I just marked off on a medium sized hoop how many pegs I needed and I think it will work out just fine. I honestly can probably get two done because I can do one on each side but I'm not going to worry about that right now.

I would watch a documentary and eventually take a longer bath. My hair feels very strange and flat today. And I keep looking at my pictures from like May and my hair looks so much different than it did and I don't know why. I know I cut some at the beginning of the summer but the shape of my head looks weird today. But even pictures from like 2 weeks ago it looks fine so I know it's all in my head. Well I mean my hair is on my head but you know what I mean.

I've been hanging out in bed since then. Which is when I had a horrible Charlie horse in my calf that hurts so bad and felt like it lasted for so long. And I was very distressed and I texted James and James started talking about laying in a hammock and how it was probably worse than a hammock and I'm like what are you talking about I'm nowhere near a hammock. For some reason they thought I was at camp? They have the car! So then I was all confused because they were talking about hammocks and then talking about the days of the week and I was like what are you talking about and I was worried because they worked 8 hours and then drove for 4 hours to get to New York so I was like are they just over tired what is going on. But they are safely in New York with family and everything is fine. They're going to a basketball game tomorrow with their friends and it's going to be fine. But that was very upsetting at the beginning of this post while I was texting them. Everything is settled now We are talking about other stuff They know I am home I know where they are. I'm going to try to stretch my leg and searching out ready for sleep.

I have a long day of working on the computer tomorrow so hopefully it is nice and if it rains it's not too bad. I hope that you all have a very nice night tonight. And you sleep good. Until next time my friends. Goodnight everybody.

[random-workout-time]

Day #15-18

Day #15-18 (7/8/24-7/12/24)

Note: This week, I will be primality in LA and Las Vegas. For the ab workouts, I usually just look up an ab workout on YouTube. It's usually something by chloe ting as I just like the workouts.

Day #15: Today, I walked around 4 miles. Unfortunately, I didn't do many exercises whatsoever.

Post: My legs are still tired, but I am pulling through.

Day #16: Today, I walked around 8 miles. I did around 75 squats, 50 pushups, and a short ab workout.

Post: Today, I did quite a bit. I would say the soreness is down significantly as my body has gotten more or less used to the workouts. I started to just do them all in one sitting rather than doing them spaced throughout the day like I started with. I think I like doing this better so I will probably continue on with this.

Day #17: Today, I did not work out as I was on a four-hour car ride to Las Vegas and sat next to the worst people possible to sit next to on a long road trip.

Post: I slept like a rock after the road trip. Also, Las Vegas was extremely hot so I don't expect to work out too much. I think the high for the days we were here was around 120 and the low was around 90.

Day #18: Today, I did 100 squats, 50 pushups, and a full ab workout. I did not walk today because it is just so hot outside.

Post: Apart from sore abs, I felt very good today. I am really liking the chloe ting workouts. I have been primarily doing the old 2-week ab workout video challenge from a while back that was super popular. I used to religiously do those so it's been fun getting back into it. The specific video is her most popular one on her channel.

Overall: The first two days were fun, but the last two days were pretty bad. Excluding workouts and such, 120 degree weather is just so unbearable, especially in a packed van with a finicky A/C. The workouts were sparse, but I think I learned a lot regarding what I like to do and what I don't like to do. If you ever go to California, then make sure to check the weather before making plans.

[casliveblog]

(That moment when some good anime finally come out but I don’t wanna watch them because they may be on Toonami at some point and rewatching anime for Toonami does kinda take some of the fun out of it but then Toonami’s like ‘we have nothing planned for the next two months, have double Naruto Shippuden’, which I get because Housing Complex C just came out and it’s four episodes long and that makes it the perfect length to be a Halloween marathon and you don’t want to start a new show just to interrupt it with a Halloween Marathon but like there’s nothing really to look forward to as far as existing anime and it’s kinda frustrating since a lot of the new anime they’ve made have been mediocre or bad and I just want some guaranteed quality.

Just looking at anime that have new seasons that haven’t been on Toonami we have:

SSSS.Dynazenon, My Hero Academia (Season just started but still technically counts), Mob Psycho 100, Made in Abyss (Same as MHA), Jojo (scooped up by Netflix so not expecting it just worth noting), Food Wars, Demon Slayer, Megalobox, Pop Team Epic (See MHA)

And then as far as things that haven’t aired on there before but REALLY should given their general connection or even promotional materials that have aired on Toonami we have things like Jujutsu Kaisen and Chainsaw Man

So just as a way to vent I’ll list my top wanted things and the things that I’m baffled haven’t been on the block yet

Demon Slayer and Mob Psycho 100 are kind of the odd ones out given how long their second seasons have been out and there was even a rerun of Mob Psycho Season 1 that everyone thought was going to lead to season 2 being announced for the block that just... didn’t happen

Megalobox and Dynazenon aren’t my favorite picks by any means but they do seem to gel really well with what the showrunners want for the block and I think they are going to be scooped up at some point when things cool down a bit

MHA, Pop Team Epic and Made in Abyss will also probably come at some point, like Toonami legit can’t keep its hands off MHA it’s basically its big moneymaker since it found out it can’t milk Dragon Ball endlessly, they got their hands on Made in Abyss at a good time right before season 2 was really being talked about so it kinda just kicked up the discussion again and that may mean there’s a deal to be made there but I don’t pretend to know how this shit works and Pop Team Epic is just a wild card in every sense so who knows.

Food Wars has a weird history with the block given how its seasons are broken up into some weird copyright mess so that’s kind of a toss-up whether they’re going to pursue that or not but it’s there should they decide it’s worth going after.

But as far as new series I’d like to see on there within the next year that could really give the block the shot in the arm it needs are Jujutsu Kaisen, (I mean come on the fucking movie advertised on the channel why is it not there) Chainsaw Man (just started so we’ll see about the news) and... believe it or not, Spy X Family, like it’s probably not something most people think of when they think of Toonami but it’s a popular show with some action, at least as much as some of the more chill shows that have been on there.

Ever since Dragon Ball Super ended and MHA’s seasons have been sparse, Toonami’s really kind of struggled to find a new flagship series and covid certainly didn’t help and it seems like they’re putting more effort into creating new shows rather than acquisitions but I think grabbing something with good press behind it already would probably give everything the boost it needs given none of the originals have really been able to get off the ground. I get there’s probably business reasons why creating new shows you have full rights to is probably easier/more profitable than trying to bump gloves with Netflix and Disney+ (the whole reason I didn’t mention Bleach) but that doesn’t do much good if nothing’s pulling in the numbers and we just kinda let the block sit on reruns and shows that are decades old. I’m thrilled One Piece is getting another shot I really am, but it can’t carry the block and if Toonami’s not going to pull the anime that are actually in current conversations then it’s going to get left behind, I respect that it’s trying to make that conversation rather than leech off of it but there needs to be a mix since production takes so long and as we’ve seen with shows like Shenmue and Black Lotus just doesn’t yield the results they’re looking for)

[prairiedawn]

Bones&Spock relationship analysis part 1: Introduction and The Man Trap

So I'm starting my look at every TOS episode through the lens of Spock and McCoy's relationship--partly to do the same thing for their interactions as others have done with Kirk's romantic history.

I'm using the Paramount + viewing order for chronology and assuming the Federation backstory from Enterprise is canon--so the political and cultural relationship between humans and Vulcans will be factored in, to the extent possible. I plan to look at three parts of each episode:

First:  How do the events of the episode affect Spock and McCoy separately?

Second:  What is the character of their direct interactions?

Third: How do these interactions connect with previous (given the Paramount+ viewing order) interactions?

So without further ado: The Man Trap

A note for this first episode: At this time it is not clear whether Spock and McCoy already know each other well at this point in the five year mission. Episode Impact on Bones: This is an eight out of ten on the McCoy Stress-O-Meter.  Four dead crewman and a medical mystery. Ex-girlfriend turns out to have been murdered by a salt monster. Salt monster tries to kill Kirk in front of him and he has to be the one to kill her while she is wearing ex-girlfriend's face.  Yeah, super bad day for Bones.

Episode Impact on Spock: I'd put this as, say, a five out of ten on the Spock Stress-O-Meter, mostly because of dead crewmen, being attacked by fake-McCoy, and witnessing an attack on Kirk.

Interactions: The direct interactions between Spock and McCoy are pretty sparse here.

1. A very brief vidcom interaction in which they discuss a poisonous plant. Unremarkable and fully professional.

2. Spock interacts with fake McCoy in a meeting. He takes a counter position to fake McCoy, but both he and fake McCoy keep the interaction civil and professional throughout.  In the space between this scene and the next, Fake McCoy physically attacks and disables Spock briefly (off camera). Real McCoy does not lose good colleague points for fake McCoy's actions.

3. Spock and Kirk encounter McCoy with "Nancy." McCoy does not know what has been going on with the salt monster because he has been sleeping/entranced (because McCoy getting his head messed with seems to be a Thing.) He attacks Nancy when McCoy won't--telling McCoy that real Nancy would not be this strong.  When Nancy attacks Kirk a second time, McCoy kills her. One could argue that both of them could have handled this situation better, but that both of them did the best they could under their own personal circumstances at the time.

Conclusion: Can't really say much about their relationship at this point, other than that both aare civil and a little formal with each other. However, this event could be the origin of Spock considering McCoy to be excessively emotional. McCoy doesn't seem to blame Spock for his actions at the end of the episode, but Spock's actions might also lead Bones to think of Spock as coldhearted.

Should I keep doing these?

[wof-reworked]

lgbtq headcannons for the icewings (Winter, Snowfall, Lynx, Tundra, Narwhal, Hailstorm, Icicle, etc)? do u think that some of them are homophobic? I love ur posts and i'm curious on what u think of this. ty <3

Truth be told I don't really like writing homophobia/transphobia just bc like. I'm dealing enough w my own internalized nonsense and I also do not want to give bigots/bigoted thoughts more space in my head. So I won't write any tribes as,,,, violently homophobic, because no fucking thank you I have seen enough of that. I also think all of the Icewing characters we've been introduced to are gay, so whoops lol. Here's some notes on Icewing society for you + my thoughts on the Icewing protags at the bottom:

Queer dragons in Icewing Society:

-Icewing society, especially for royals, is incredibly, incredibly restrictive and based around social climbing. That involves following pre-determined, very restrictive rules.

-However, what seems to matter more in Icewing society is performing the job given to you, not how you do it? Arctic is paired off with Snowflake but no one seems to actually expect them to be in love- just to fulfill their job as a pair.

-Icewing society is also super focused around children, I talked about this in my hc post (which is conveniently linked below) but Icewings value children incredibly highly as the future of Icewing Society(tm). What matters is your ability to raise and continue on Icewing Society.

-I guess that means I lied a little bit, because homophobia does still technically exist, or at least heteronormativity does. However, with the Circle rankings being permanent once a dragon turns seven, I imagine afterwards the pressure of high society is lifted somewhat??

-These ranks can still be revoked, obviously, but once you've proved you know how to follow the script and that you're a True Icewing, a world of freedom opens up to you.

-I imagine this is a situation where transness might actually be more acceptable as gender doesn't prohibit a dragon from being able to partner up or raise a child. And the higher ranked you are, the less lower-ranked dragons can speak of it, which does unfortunately put more pressure on trans Icewings to social-climb as to be in a high enough position of power no one can say otherwise to their transition

-Gay Icewings may have an official partner paired with them as the Queen demands, but may have secondary, unofficial partners of their preferred gender. Again, all about how your children are raised to be. If you keep it quiet enough and your ranking is able to stay where it is, it doesn't matter the nitty-gritty details

-I don't have the brain power to really workshop this but I imagine there's plenty of code-words for these unofficial spouses.

-It's definitely a system based on social privilege and flawed as hell, and the amount of pressure it puts on the children of nobility to grow up as harsh as their parents is cruel (we all read winter turning, I'm sure I don't need to tell you that). Queer Icewings don't get off much better than cishet Icewings tbh, it's a system that makes everyone miserable and mostly succeeds in drilling a sense of learned helplessness into every Icewing royal.

-As far as normal Icewings: Icewing territory is rough- it's cold, sparse, and devoid of much in the way of food and shelter. Icewings are incredibly community driven to match this (see here, though the writing is over a year old and I'd def want to change it, it does get across some interesting points).

-I genuinely don't think normal, everyday Icewings have enough energy to spare to care about gay/trans dragons. If you do your job correctly and you don't make a fuss, it's about as notable as blue eyes. A novelty for the first five minutes maybe.

-Aro/ace nobility are in for a rough ride, genuinely cannot think of a good answer here. Icewing society bad >:/

Icewing character hcs:

Winter:

Gay gay homosexual gay

seriously what do you expect from me I'm a qinter shipper through and through

I think I would write him as biromantic homosexual?? I think he's not incapable of crushes on female chars but he leans hard towards men and I see him just sort of calling himself gay bc it makes life easier (this is where I take off my qinter hat to shamefully reveal a smaller, dunce shaped "qinterwatcher" hat underneath)

Admitting to himself he has feelings for *anyone* is a battle, much less men, so I imagine it takes him a long time to feel comfortable coming out, he still really doesn't know how to deal with other dragons being into him

Gnc king, he might be cis but he's absolutely killing it. He's more,, idk, traditionally feminine?? Icewings in general have almost no sexual dimorphism and gender looks different in each tribe but he's a specific kind of long and pointy. My boy is shaped like a really weird siamese cat.

Hailstorm:

I really like nonbinary Hailstorm honestly !! they/he Hailstorm supremacy

I say bisexual but honestly this guy is way too messed up for any kind of relationship. He better be therapysexual by the end of wof

I will say Hailstorm has big "guy who doesn't know everyone in this party is into them" energy. This idiot walks into a room and everyone is immediately in love.

Like their brother, I think Hailstorm is very androgynous, though in a different direction? Winter is elegant and slinky, and while tall, his body is much more,,, drapey, and his features end up rather petite in comparison to his siblings.

Hailstorm on the other hand is like a wolf- lean but definitely not skinny, all smooth muscles and rippling scales that make his movements look effortless. They're that weird balance of fierce but gentle-looking.

Icicle:

Bi but also with a strong leaning towards women, I just call her sapphic in my notes

Her specific brand of self-absorbed and intense means her brand of flirting is,,,, a lot.

Lots of showing off, lots of "taking care of stuff for you", scaring off potential competition, and usually without. actually consulting the object of her affections

POV: you're just some cute Mudwing trying to attend school so ur sibs can stop accidentally eating poisonous plants and maybe learn how to read and that scary Icewing girl in ur class shows up at your door with a whole polar bear, wyd

In her defense that would've been a killer opening move if this was the tundra and she was also still considered a princess

Femme by dragon standards (please remember though this is a book series where potential queens have to kill the ruler in one on one combat)

Snowfall:

have you ever seen more of a lesbian in your life

I don't really care if you ship her with Lynx or not BUT HAVE YOU EVER SEEN MORE OF A LESBIAN IN YOUR LIFE

I THOUGHT NOT

she's a disaster but she sure does love girls

I like to think she's one of those people where, if she was a human, she would channel all of her repressed attraction to women by getting really into horses or being as preppy as humanly possible

I hope in her quest to make Icewing society less awful she's able to kiss Lynx that would be nice I think

I love her she's trying her best and untangling a lot of complicated emotions in herself but it's also so funny to hold in my head. The word baby-gay was made for her ghjkjhjkl

Lynx:

Also nonbinary imo, she/they swag

Normally not the first person to make a move but Snowfall is such a hot mess it's actually strongarmed Lynx into being the one to actually start flirting and trying to establish a relationship

Could be bisexual, could be a lesbian, key factor is a love of women

I really lean towards her being primarily into women but I think it's really funny if she had a crush on Winter bc it solidifies her type into being The Worst People To Have A Crush On Ever and I need more "bisexuals with garbage taste but not in a self-destructive way just in a "why them????" way