#so yeah idk i just really hate it here i wish everything was different but im just kinda stuck in this shithole

[weareuniqueandimportant]

WE'RE WATCHING WAKANDA FOREVER... WE'RE 1 HOUR IN BUT I MUST SAY... I STOPPED PAYING ATTENTION A WHILE AGO...

THIS POST MIGHT GET GLITCHED DUE TO THEIR LENGTH AND SUREFIRE WOKENESS... DETAILS THAT CAUSE THEM TO BE ERASED ABUSIVELY EVILLY NASTILLY ON PURPOSE OUT OF POLITICAL PROPAGANDA BY THE ABUSER CALLED TUMBLR... THEREFORE.. I WILL EDIT THIS IN BITS...

OKAY... WE WATCHED AN ANIME PORN THAT WAS TRANSPHOBIC... THAT WAS 2 WOMAN BUT... THE OTHER ONE IS TRANS LIKELY BY A TRANSPHOBIC CREATOR... WE GET TYPICAL TRANSPHOBIC DIALOGUE... SEXISM... QUEERPHOBIA... ABOUT CONSTRUCTS... THE CISSIE WAS ITEMIZED INSANE... CRAZY... SHE WASN'T... YUCKIES... ALL THIS AT A TRANS CHARACTER... WHAT A NASTY FETISH THE CREATOR HAS... WE REMEMBERED... THAT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER... TO ACKNOWLEDGE... I REMEMBER MORE... ONCE AGAIN FORGOTTEN ONCE AGAIN WHAT WE USED TO KNOW... BECAUSE NOBODY WILL EVER UNDERSTAND... WE WILL ALWAYS BE ABUSED... WE HAVE NO HOPE EVER GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING CHILDREN OUR LIVES PURPOSE OR TRANSITIONING AS OURSELVES... THIS IS FACTUAL... WE HAVE BEEN TOLD THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN... NOBODY WILL EVER UNDERSTAND... WE WATCHED ANOTHER ONE... TERRIBLE...

THEY CAN'T DIE... BUT I HAVE NO ENERGY... THERE IS NO POINT... THEY'RE DYING... FLEEING... THIS CAN'T HAPPEN... I LOVE YOU... OUR SHARED EMOTIONS... OUR TRAUMA... OUR PROGRESSIVE EXISTANCE WITHOUT AN EQUAL NOBODY WILL EVER COMPARE TO GIVING US NL POINT IN LIFE... WE'RE ALIVE FOR NO REASON... BECAUSE WE CARE UNLIKE ANYONE ELSE... THERE IS NOBODY ELSE THAT CARES ON THIS PLANET... WE WOULD BE ABUSED BY ANYONE AND EVERYONE IF THEIR CHILDREN... ONLY WE CAN HAVE THEM FOR THIS REASON... ASWELL AS THE TOOL NEVER OUR EQUAL THAT WILL GIVE THEM FOR US... BECAUSE AN EQUAL WOULD HAVE SAVED US ALREADY... IF EXISTED... THEY WOULD'VE PREVENTED EVERYTHING WE HAVE EVER BEEN TROUGH... THEY WOULD HAVE GIVEN US AN ACTUAL COMMUNITY THAN THE EVIL ABUSER WASTE THIS SITE ONLY HAS... WE WILL NEVER BE SAVED WE WILL NEVER TRANSITION LIFE IS POINTLESS WE ARE ABUSED ALWAYS HARMED ALWAYS HURT ALWAYS LIKE JUST WHEN SOMEONE HURT US SOMEONE WHO WASN'T SUPPOSED TO... ONCE AGAIN... AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN A LOOP WE'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN!! BASIC NEEDS WE'RE BORN WITH ALWAYS DENIED ALWAYS ABUSED ALWAYS NEGLECTED JUST LIKE RIGHT NOW!! NOBODY IS QUALIFIED NO THERAPIST NOBODY OF SUCH KIND THEM ONLY ABUSERS THAT HAVE ONLY HURT US IN THE PAST WITH AN AGENDA FAR MORE EVIL THEM BASED IN EVIL BIGOTRIES... ANYONE OUTSIDE... SHOULD BE YOUR THERAPIST... FUCK THIS... DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU'RE A BIGOT... AND NO BIGOT IS ALLOWED TO INTERACT WITH THIS POST ONLY 2 PEOPLE 1 OUR EQUAL THAT WILL NEVER EXIST OUTSIDE OF OUR BRAIN 2 OUR LOVERS OUR CHEERLEADERS THOSE CUTIES THAT FOLLOW US... DESPERATE FOR OUR ATTENTION... HUNGRY... AWW... DON'T WORRY MY LITTLE FOLLOWER... HERE'S ANOTHER LOVELY POST YOUR FAVORITE: RIGHT...? HERE YOU GO <3!!

IF BLACK PANTHER WAS A TRANS WOMAN THAT IS AUTISM AND ADHD WAKANDA WOULD HAVE ABUSED HER SHE WOULD'VE NEVER BECOME A HERO SHE WOULD'VE NEVER BEEN ALLOWED TO IF SHE WAS RADQUEER FEMINIST COMMUNIST ANARCHIST WE ARE DESPISED WE ARE HATED... SAME WAY IRONMAN... SPIDERMAN... CAPTAIN AMERICA... ALL WITH THEIR SEXIST WRITTEN GIRLFRIENDS... DAMSELS IN DISTESS AT BEST A SIDE CHARACTER NEVER AN EQUAL... PEOPLE WITH DEAD PARENTS WITHOUT FAMILY WITHOUT COMMUNITY WITHOUT LOVE PREACHING ABOUT LOVE TO US... THAT DON'T THINK WHAT IS GOOD PREACHING ABOUT IDEOLOGY THAT ABUSES US... THEM ALL ABUSERS THAT WOULD ONLY HARM US... US WATCHING THEIR MOVIES... THINGS COULD'VE BEEN DIFFERENT... US ONLY LEARNING WE'RE UNLOVABLE AS THE TRUE LESSON OVER AND OVER... DOESN'T MATTER WHAT SERIES WHAT GENRE... THE QUESTION IS WHAT FAKE EMOTIONS THEY CAN MAKE US FEEL FOR A LITTLE MOMENT UNTIL REALITY HITS BACK IN... IF THIS IS DEPRESSION WE ARE DEPRESSED FOR A REASON WE ARE MEANT TO BE DEPRESSED WE ALWAYS WERE MEANT TO BE... WE ARE ABUSED WE HAVEN'T TRANSITIONED WE NEVER WILL WE'RE EVERYTHING ELSE LISTED... THIS WORLD IS THE PROBLEM WE NEVER COULD BE... BLAME US YOU'RE TO BLAME THAT IS YOU EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH BECAUSE YOU COULD'VE PREVENTED THIS AND YOU DON'T ACCEPT US ONCE WE'RE BROKEN DESPITE ONLY DOING WHAT IS RIGHT EVERYONE ELSE ONLY BROKEN INSTEAD... THAT IS THEM THAT ALWAYS MADE EVERYTHING GO THIS WAY... THEM TO WHO THAT IS NORMAL TO SEE THIS AND IGNORE... ABUSERS... WITHOUT A RIGHT NO PREACH ABOUT ANYTHING... THIS... IDEOLOGY... ONLY A WAY TO TELL US WE DESERVE TO BE ABUSED WE DESERVED EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED ON US THAT IS JUSTIFIED TO KILL US AND EVERYONE ELSE IS JUSTIFIED TO HURT US... US UNCARED FOR UNLOVED FOREVER...

I DON'T FEEL LIKE...

IRONMAN AS A TRANS WOMAN THAT IS EVERYTHING WE ARE WOULD'VE BEEN EPIC AND THE RIGHT WAY TO GO... GIVE HER EVERYTHING THERE SHOULD BE... MAKE HER EVERYTHING GOOD THERE IS... NO GOOD PERSON WOULD BE WHAT IRONMAN IS IN REAL LIFE... CONSERVATIVES LOVE HIM FOR A REASON... NOBODY PROGRESSIVE WOULD...

LOVE OF THUNDER WILL EASILY BE THE BEST THOR WE WILL WATCH THEM SOON TOO THE REASON WOKE CONTENT EASY AS THAT... MARVEL WILL NEVER ACCEPT EVERYTHING WOKE THERE IS... THERE IS NOTHING LEFTIST ABOUT THEM COMICS ARE AS BAD AS THEY WERE IN THE 80S WITH THE SAME PROBLEMS AS ARE MOVIES EVERYTHING IS... EVERYTHING IS EVIL AND HARMFULL :)...

THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN TALK ABOUT WHILE BURIED UNDER SUCH FEELINGS OF EVIL... ONLY SOMEONE THAT CAN FIX EVERYTHING CAN SAVE US... BUT NOBODY LIKE THAT IS OUT THERE... OTHERWISE... THEY WOULD'VE ALREADY COME... WE WOULD'VE SEEN THEM... WE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABUSED ALL THOSE TIMES... NOTHING BAD WOULD'VE EVER HAPPENED TO US...

CULTURE WILL ALWAYS BE EVIL... THAT IS RACIST TO EVEN WHEN DRAWING A BLACK PERSON PUTTING HIM IN TRIBE OUTFITS FROM 6000 MILLION YEARS AGO... ISN'T THIS JUST MAKING THEM TARZAN ANYWAYS...? NOTHING'S ACTUALLY CHANGED... THE SAME WAY THEY WOULDN'T ACCEPT US... THEY HATE EVERYTHING AGAINST THEIR CONSERVATIVE ABUSER CULTURE AND THEIR STANCE IS TO NEVER EVOLVE TO ALWAYS STAY THE SAME...

AT THE SAME TIME ALL THE OTHER HEROES HAVE NO FAMILY HAVE NO FRIENDS... THEY'RE REJECTS HATED BY EVERYONE... THAT JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE LIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T BECOME WHAT OPPRESSESS THEM AND DOESN'T DO SHIT TO FIX WHAT CAUSED EVERYTHING BAD ON THEM THEY CAUSE ASWELL...

THERE WAS 1 EMOTIONAL MOMENT IN THIS ONE THAT WAS FIRE... WHEN HIS WIFE WHO'S NOW A WIDOW STRIPS THAT ONE WOMAN FROM HER POWER... VERY GOOD SCENE... VERY EMOTIONAL... ONE OF THE BEST MARVEL HAS... THE BEGGINING ASWELL WAS GOOD... AFTER THAT IS WHEN THINGS GOT BORING...

I LIKE THE CONNECTIONS EVERYONE HAS OR DID... ALL THOSE OTHER HEROES AREN'T CARED ABOUT BY THEIR COMMUNITIES... IF CAPTAIN AMERICA WAS TRULY CARED ABOUT... HIS ARMY WOULD'VE FOUND AND SAVED HIM OR THEY WOULD'VE FROZEN THEMSELVES TOO... NOBODY CARED ABOUT HIM... EVERYONE'S DEAD... HE HAS NO REASON TO BE A HERO ANYMORE... HE SHOULDN'T BE... HE'S AN ABUSER GARBAGE WASTE... EITHER HE'S BAD WHICH HE IS EITHER WAY OR THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR HIM TO BE LIKE THIS. SIMPLE AS THAT. IRONMAN IS THE SAME WAY... BESIDES... HE PEAKS AS A FATHER... SHOULD'VE JUST BEEN HIS DAUGHTER'S FATHER FROM THE BEGGINING... THEM DUAL PROTAGONIST... A BETTER MOVIE THAN IRONMAN 1. WHAT THAT MOVIE SHOULD'VE ALREADY BEEN.

AS SHOULD'VE HIM BEEN INSTEAD TRANS... HIS GIRLFRIEND MORE THAN HIS GIRLFRIEND... WITH BADASS FAMILY LORE... ALL COMPLEX ARE RELEVANT... ALL EXPLORED AND INTERESTING...

HIS VILLAINS... ASS... ALL OF THEM...

THANOS... ASS.. BLACK WIDOW... SEXIST... LOKI... ALWAYS A TERRIBLE CHARACTER... THOR... WORTHLESS UNTIL LOVE OF THUNDER...

CAPTAIN MARVEL A CHARACTER THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ALREADY IN PHASE ONE... ALL THIS WOKE CONTENT AND MORE THE WOKEST CONTENT MARVEL WILL NEVER DO PART OF THEM THE SAME...

SIMPLE AS THAT... NOW ABOUT THAT ANIME PORN...

HE WAS JUST A PATHETIC LOSER MAN... THAT RPED HIS MOTHER AND SISTER... HIS MOTHER'S RPE IS JUSTIFIED AND SHE BECOMES A RPIST TOO... AND THEY RPE HIS SISTER TOGETHER... HIS FATHER IS THERE WITH THEM... THEM ALL SINCE LYING TO HIM AND HAVING SEX BEHIND HIS BACK... THEY DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT HIM... WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE...? WHY THE FUCK DID HE MARRY THESE PEOPLE...? THE WOMAN NOTHING BUT SEXIST JUNK CONTENT FOR PATHETIC LOSER MAN THE REAL VILLAIN... HIM THAT DOESN'T SHOW EMOTIONS BECAUSE THAT WOULD BREAK THIS MASCULINITY... THAT HAS NO ANYTHING... NO PERSONALITY NO CHARACTER DESIGN... WHO'S FACE YOU BARELY SEE... EVIL SERIES... THIS PORNO MADE JUST TO TELL US WE DON'T MATTER... TRANSPHOBIC EVIL... ERASE US YOU'RE A BIGOT... BORING... THE WAY SHE JUST TURNED ON HER AND BECAME A RPIST... IS THIS AN ATTEMPT AT AN ARC...? TRY HARDER... BIGOT...

MEANWHILE THE OTHER ONE... CASUALLY TRANSPHOBIC... TELLING US WE'RE HATED AND OTHER EVIL THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN... BETTER CHARACTERS... MAKES THE ASSINESS WORSE... NOTHING BUT ANOTHER DEEPLY PERSONAL ATTEMPT AT HURTING US THAT WORKS... HER FACE TOO HIDDEN... HER GIRLFRIEND MADE INTO SEXIST JUICE... NO TRANS WOMAN WOULD DO THIS... NONE... ONLY A BIGOT WOULD GASSLIGHT US... WE CONTROL OURSELVES... WE ARE AMAZING WE ARE POWERFULL... NOBODY CAN DESTROY US... ONLY A BIGOT WOULD COME AFTER US...

IRONMAN MUST'VE MET A MILLION TRANS PEOPLE HE'S HURT... NOTHING HEROIC ABOUT THIS... HE WOULD ABUSE HIS CHILD THAT IS AUTISM... JUST LIKE WE WERE ABUSED AND ARE EVERY SINGLE DAY...

SPIDERMAN IS SO ASS MILES WILL WAIT A COUPLE DECADES BEFORE APPEARING... THAT IS A YIKES... VERY EVERYTHING...

THIS MOVIE IS FIRE BECAUSE SO MANY STORY RELEVANT WOMAN... TERRIBLE THE WIDOW IS THE ANTAGONIST THE LEAST IMPORTANT CHARACTER... AGAIN... REPEATING THE COMIC UNIMPORTANT GIRLFRIEND CHARACTER...

HULK IS FACTUALLY ASS AND BIGOTED... JUSTIFYING EVERY SINGLE ABUSE THOSE WITH DID US WITH OSDD EXPERIENCE... JUSTIFYING EVERY SINGLE ABUSE CRAZY PEOPLE EXPERIENCE... HE WANTS MENTAL HOSPITAL... THIS IS JUSTIFIED... BIGOTED... EVIL... SANIST... ABLEIST... GARBAGE... NO BLACK CHARACTER RACIST... NO LGBT QUEERPHOBIC... ESPECIALLY TRANSPHOBIC... JUST ANOTHER SEXIST GIRLFRIEND SEXISM... PARAPHOBIA... EVERYTHING ELSE BIGOTED FROM THEIR COMPLETE ERASURE AND MORE... I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS... WE NEVER TRULY FORGOT ABOUT ALL THIS... WE ARE AMAZING... WE ARE ABSOLUTE... ALWAYS WILL BE...

THAT IS BIGOTED TO DO A REPRESENTATION AND DO THEM BADLY... THIS MOVIE IS RACIST... BLACK PEOPLE ARE LITERALLY TARZAN WHEN YOU THINK... CRAZY...

EVERY OTHER MOVIE THEY'RE ALL THE SAME... THE MARVELS WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST... THIS ONE IS CLOSE TBH... LOVE OF THUNDER WILL LIKELY BE NEAR ASWELL... THAT WILL BE SOON... NOW... WE MUST FINISH THIS MOVIE AND ADD IN HASHTAGS...

[sandersinabox]

Not to be a downer on main buuuuuut

[babydollmarauders]

GOODBYE — JOHN MARINO

part of the Maraschino Cherry! AU

y/nmercer

liked by john.marino97, dawson1417, and 6,927 others

y/nmercer new jersey, you made dreams come true. you gave me a few last years of living with my best friend, and you brought me my prince charming of a fiancé. i can’t thank this city and this team enough. i truly don’t have the words to describe how grateful i am for everything that jersey has meant to me, but it’s time for the next adventure. utah, i’ll see you soon…. please don’t take away my margaritas 🩵

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john.marino97 as taylor swift once said “everything you lose is a step you take.” just think of this loss as the first step in our personal journey, shortcake. this is the first in a long line of things we have to do on our own, and i’m so glad to have you by my side.

y/nmercer when he listens to and understands taylor swift 😩🤭 I’M GONNA PROPOSE

john.marino97 i think i already did that? what do you think i did when i got down on one knee and gave you that ring?

y/nmercer idk? i thought you just had a really weird way of gifting a promise ring or something

dawson1417 call me every day and tell me all about the mormons and life in utah! i’m gonna miss you, but i’m so happy you found your happily ever after and have someone to take on life with ❤️

dawson1417 even if that someone is john

john.marino97 we’re gonna be brothers one day, and then you’re gonna wish you were nicer to me

dawson1417 @/john.marino97 nah

y/nmercer i love you, bubba 🤍 thank you for being my best friend and allowing me to follow you around for the past 22 years. life will be so much different without you by my side

lhughes_06 i’ll miss you, mom! i hope you have a good time in utah! i’m gonna miss you dropping off cookies after losses and doing my curls

y/nmercer my first child <3 i love you so much, hun! i’m gonna miss you so much but i’ll see you later this summer and when we play NJD!

user92 this must be so hard for her :( i can’t imagine being with your twin from the womb to 22 and then having to move across the country just like that

user16 i mean, i’d assume she knew the risks of being with a hockey player and that it meant she could have to leave

user92 @/user16 that doesn’t make it any less hard for her

jackhughes gonna miss ya short stack! don’t get shunned out there in utah!

y/nmercer you’re not that much taller than me! just for that, i will not miss you

jackhughes oh no, you’ve wounded me! what ever will i do?!

y/nmercer fall in a hole, slut

jackhughes right back at you, whore

y/nmercer @/john.marino97 JOHN! LOOK WHAT HE CALLED ME!

jackhughes tattletale. you can dish it out but you can’t take it?

y/nmercer i’m just a girl

nicohischier we’ll miss your presence here in NJ, but i can’t wait to hear all about your new life, y/n!

y/nmercer please bring me back so many swiss treats as a going away gift!

user04 new jersey is gonna miss john’s talent and your kind heart and vivacious energy! i hope utah treats you guys well!

ehaula utah stole my babysitter! good luck out there, i’ll miss you both!

y/nmercer i’ll fly back. don’t ever underestimate what i’ll do for your children, erik.

nicolelaud i’m gonna miss my wine wife so bad 🍷🤍 i’ll pour a glass in your honor, babe. it’s been a privilege to be your friend and watch your relationship blossom beautifully. i’ll still see you in a few weeks, right?!

y/nmercer thank you for welcoming me into this team dynamic with open arms! i’ll miss you!! and absolutely! no chance i’m giving up a jersey bachelorette party!

user78 THIS IS HOW I FOUND OUT JOHN IS LEAVING US?! I HATE MY LIFE

vitacz15 i’m so sorry to hear about this! but i know you’ll do great there!

y/nmercer i miss my daily dose of vitek! thank you, VV!

curtislazar95 i’ll miss *adam hamway voice* THE MARINO’S! hope you thrive on the west coast! luke’s curls will miss you too

y/nmercer i’m a marino?! 🥹

curtislazar95 well yeah, soon enough!

naterbastian take care of my boy out there in the beehive state! i know he and you are gonna do great things!

y/nmercer awww bass! don’t worry, i’ll take care of your husband! 🫶🏻

jesperbratt don’t be a stranger ❤️ you have a home here any time. we’ll miss you both lots

y/nmercer oh bratt-man, don’t make me cry again 🥺

user30 the way john hasn’t posted a goodbye but she has 😭

user6 well, john never posted a goodbye when he was traded from the penguins either, but considering this seems to be the first NHL player she’s dated, i assume this is her first time having to leave against her will from a city she’s grown to call home, so it makes sense that she posted a goodbye

tmeier96 good luck on the west coast! i’m just a text away if you ever need anything, it was a pleasure to get to know you

y/nmercer just stab me with a dull soup spoon already, it would hurt less

john.marino97 @/y/nmercer no.

[wynsummers]

i've been thinking about the whole "friction in his jeans" thing a lot lately, and while it is certainly one of the more iconic instances of the lyric in the CD booklet being different from the actual song, it is far from the only one. on top of that, there are quite a few lyrics that play with double meanings that only become clear when they're written out.

so, i present a collection of every lyric in the fob CD booklets that differ from the final version, punctuation and double meanings that aren't noticeable unless the song is written out, and any other interesting details i find in the process, or a really long post of me cornplating about fob:

disclaimer that if the difference is small enough/doesn't change the meaning of the line i won't include it because that would take me years (for example, the book says "light that smoke for giving up on me" and patrick says "yeah, one for giving up on me" but literally who cares that changes nothing. everything i include here is relevant, i think)

follow-up disclaimer that there are a bunch of fucking typos in every single one of these books because these boys never proofread anything but unless i think it's significant in some way i probably will skip it

TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE:

tell that mick:

"I hope you choke on those words, that kiss, that bottle - I confess / now ash yourself out on the insides, when I said I loved you I swear I lied"

grand theft autumn:

"someday i'll appreciate in value, get off my ass and call you... but for the meantime i'll sport my brand new fashion of waking up with my clothes on at 4:00 in the afternoon"

saturday:

"pete and i said goodbye to astoria with promise and precision and mess of youthful innocence"

(most of these are just silly but this one fucking hurts)

sending postcards:

"fake it like you matter - cause that's the biggest secret you have to keep"

chicago is so two years ago:

"that means that I believed every single lie you said (and learned from the best)"

"cause every pain of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains i went through to avoid you / and every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention i still hate you" (pain of glass instead of pane of glass - i think this is supposed to be a parallel. that or pete just misspelled pane)

patron saint:

"I'm holding out and I'm holding on to every letter and every grudge"

*flashes forward 20 years to hmlag*

anyway

FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE:

our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued:

"we're good friends only when you're on your knees"

sugar:

the icon, the legend

"don't mind me, i'm watching you two from the closet wishing to be the friction in his jeans" 🎉🏳️‍🌈

dark alley:

"joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of 'just friends'"

"I'm hopelessly hopeful that you're just hopeless enough"

champagne for my real friends, real pain for my shrimp friends:

"you steer away in a rearview mirror, make my head swim"

i slept with someone in fob:

"someone old, no one new / always borrowed, always you"

THIS ONE!! THIS FUCKING ONE [CAR CRASH] [SIRENS]

ahem. anyway

sixteen candles:

"i confess, i'm just messed up / dropping 'i'm sorrys' like you're still around"

XO:

"to hands"

(that's it. no "between legs, and whatever it takes" just hands. just fuckin. to hands)

"to hotel stares/stairs" (wordplay!! to clarify it literally says "stares/stairs" in the book)

"choose awe or sympathy"

also in the last verse it says 'to the "love"' with the quotes which is just kinda funny

INFINITY ON HIGH:

this ain't a scene:

"crashing not like hips or hearts"

i'm like a lawyer:

"i only keep myself this sick in the head cause i know how the words get you (off)"

"collect the bad habits that you couldn't bare to keep" (idk this one might just be a typo)

hum hallelujah:

similarly, this might also be a typo, but "versus" is spelled "verses"

(after) life:

ok. ok. hear me out. this is the cornplatiest i have ever been. but on genius it says "death's in a double bed"

and on the lyric book it says "deaths in a double bed"

that changes everything!!! (not really, i know) it's not death as a concept or figure or whatever it's deaths. as in multiple people dying. aaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaughhhhhhhhhhh

moving on

carpal tunnel:

"we take the sip from life's lush lips"

the line "we might've started singing just a little soon" isn't listed, it's just the goodbye line twice

"but i'm just tired yawns for fawns"

you're crashing:

"the cause, the kid, the charm, and the curse"

ginasfs:

"lips pressed this close to mine"

"but the prince of this failing empire knows" (hhhnnnggggggghhh)

"i've already given up on myself once but the third time is the charm" that's not how numbers work pete <3

"just kind of figured on not figuring myself out"

FOLIE A DEUX:

folie a deux doesn't have a lyric book. just portraits of the boys with empty white pages that have their names written on them. my poor beautiful masterpiece

BELIEVERS NEVER DIE VOL. 1:

fnowae:

not a lyric but for some reason the whole fuckin song is in quotes

SAVE ROCK AND ROLL:

the phoenix:

another punctuation thing but instead of "hope to die" it's "hope-to-dies"

"you're wearing our vintage misery"

alone together:

"my heart is like a stallion, they love it more when it's broke in" instead of "broken" (i love double meanings!! i love wordplay!! i love pete wentz!!)

where did the party go:

"i will appear to you if you make yourself shake fast enough"

the mighty fall:

the lyric book straight up doesn't have big sean's part 💔

rat a tat:

at the end there's this "talk less / mean more / let's be electric / like we were before" that i have literally never heard so i'm assuming it's a neat little cut lyric

save rock and roll:

"i will save the songs / the songs we're singing"

AMERICAN BEAUTY / AMERICAN PSYCHO:

irresistible:

"coming in announced" this one. this one's just a typo. come on boys it's been 12 years at this point read the books more than once

"i just dragged my nails on the tile / i just follow your scent" ?? idk

"this will not be a battle"

ab/ap:

for some fucking reason it just says "she's an american beauty" three times at the start of the song 😭

"and as we're drifting off to sleep" isn't in there, it just says "and all those dirty thoughts of me, they were never yours to keep"

the kids aren't alright:

indulge me once more, reader. i am cornplating again

instead of "former heroes who quit too late and just wanna fill up their trophy case again" it's "wanted to" do you understand why that makes me insane

also they have it as "will put your curse in reverse" instead of "we" which could be a typo but could also be a neat little change

uma thurman:

"you cut me deep like uma thurman"

jet pack blues:

"i'm the kind that can turn june to september / the last one that you'll ever remember"

"between these two white highway signs"

immortals:

"i try to picture you without me but i can't"

M A N I A:

hold me tight or don't:

the line "i'm pretty sure that this isn't how our story ends" isn't included

wilson:

"i know it's just a number but to me you're the 8th wonder"

sunshine riptide:

they didn't include any of burna boy's lines 😒

SO MUCH (FOR) STARDUST:

smfs doesn't have any lyric changes that i noticed, just the usual typos.

update: future emma here, upon further contemplation I have decided to add the line "I'd never go, I just want to be invited" since the first verse definitely says "I'll" (thank you sugarweregoinin and foliejpg for inspiring this revelation)

and there we have it! if you're insane patient enough to have made it until the end, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed! if there are any i missed/any in CDs that i don't have please let me know i find these so fascinating (if you couldn't tell). i just love getting glimpses into their writing process and seeing how the songs we know and love evolve before they get to us. i might also do a post about how spotify/genius gets a bunch of their lyrics wrong because it pisses me off but this is all for now, good day/night!

[saltofmercury]

A König x reader where the reader gives off scary dog privilege.

Like at a McDonald’s, König will stand behind them, even if he’s like a MOUNTAIN compared to the reader and the reader will be like “HE asked for no pickles >:(“

Idk think it would be cute if the reader would help König out in social situations where he would be uncomfortable.

If König doesn’t feel like talking the reader redirects the conversation to themselves so König can just listen.

Pairing: König x reader

Summary: König feels better after meeting you.

"We"

He didn’t date. Dating was exhausting, humiliating, and daunting for König. A series of awkward silences followed by stupid questions, that seemed to be in constant loop.

“What do you do?”

“Where are you from?

“Why are you so quiet?

He was always too quiet, too shy, for women. Too soft, too detached with men. It’s like he couldn’t be perfect for either.

It was worse when he thought they were having a good time and König, already filled with nerves and anxiety, had ordered his meal wrong.

“Why didn’t you ask to have it without mushrooms?”

“Why don’t you ask them if that's not what you ordered?”

As if it were easy. They looked at him with stupidity like he couldn’t just do it.

Second + third dates were then followed by 

“I’m not asking them to switch it, that's your meal.”

“You’re a big boy, use your voice.”

Small jabs towards him because of his height and build, that he wished he could just push himself to do it but he didn’t want to add an extra burden to the waiter or crew in the back.

“It’s fine, I'll eat it.”

Later coming to realize at the end of the date that he wasn’t for “them.”

“It’s not me, it’s you, I just don’t see it working out.”

Until he met you.

You weren’t looking for anything, as a matter of fact you just wanted to decompress from the day, have a small get together with new and old friends, but lots of things changed that day. 

As you went around introducing yourselves, König said hi, but didn’t really put much input into the group. He seemed to be making himself smaller, fading away behind the group of people. He seemed uncomfortable.

You approached him— A small shiver from his side, mentally preparing himself knowing the lines of—

“WHY aren’t you talking?”

“How tall are you?”

“Why aren’t you drinking?”

“Why are you so quiet?”

However it wasn’t like that at all. You did most of the talking. Just asked for small input from him. He was so taken back by how comfortable you made him. You made talking to new people easy and by the end of the night it was you asking him on a second date. 

He nodded, dumbfounded. “A second date?”

A small shiver again, maybe this time it was different?

*

The second date, at some small diner nearby, you take the lead on talking again. You think it was perhaps due to your nerves, you had become a chatterbox.

“So why the military?”

“Uh— personal choice.”

Small silence as you chewed on the appetizer in front of you. You wide eyed, trying to not say 

“Well that explains the haircut.” so instead you said,

“Must be lots of traveling huh?” You continued, listing places you wanted to visit and asking if he had ever been there.

Relief pooled inside him. What was your motive behind this?

When it was time to place the order, König’s nerves had bundled inside of him again that he forgot to mention “no black olives.”

His dish was placed in front of him.

He looked concerned, like he was in for a long night of picking them off his meal, then bombarding him with questions of “why didn’t you just ask?”

You saw the concern on his face.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah.”

“Why aren’t you digging in?”

“Ah… I said no olives but it’s no big deal.”

It was a big deal and you called the waitress over.

“I’m sorry we said no olives”

“Oh! I’m sorry!” The waitress flushed and ran away with the plate.

“Here” you said, so calm, “you can have some of mine while we wait.”

How effortless you did it. How were you so good at this?

“I hate when I do that. I can’t have cilantro because it tastes like soap.” You laughed and continued to pick at french fries in front of him.

God you were adorable.

He was sure he wasn’t going to see you again, thinking that maybe you thought he couldn’t speak up for himself, or the conversation ran too dry.

You however kept pushing yourself in, being his voice when he couldn’t speak.

“We said—

‘No olives’ 

‘No pickles’

‘This isn’t what we ordered’

Relief washing over him that you took it upon yourself when he had made the mistake ordering.

How you used “we” as opposed to “he” and he really liked that you didn’t single him out. He could melt. Was there finally someone who could lessen the burden of his anxiety?

Dinner dates went from bi-weekly to weekly. Then it was just easy. It was a no-brainer being with you. 

You never once thought he was too shy, or too quiet, too soft, or too detached. You didn’t question things between you two, you just took the lead in conversations with people, often checking in with König for a small part in it. You knew the right amount to get out of him.

You took the burden of first time conversations. You had started ordering for the two of you, knowing what he liked and didn’t like. König felt lighter, felt better that someone was here for him and opposed to him. 

[vierlieben]

Lip Gloss.

Choi Jongho x f!reader

genre: fluff

wc: ?? idk

desc: you just thought of another way of putting lip gloss on your boyfriend's lips.

you are a living doll, everyone said. maybe it's just you can't go out without getting dolled up, or even when you're just staying at home, or maybe because just you're effortlessly pretty. now, by the term "dolled up", it doesn't mean applying full makeup—it's just you wearing hair clips, putting light blush, curling your eyelashes and lastly, your favorite, lippies.

a lovely picnic was planned today together with your boyfriend, Jongho, who was terribly excited about it. well, who wouldn't be so excited for finally getting to have a whole day date with his partner after a rough weekend? all he needed was you.

but maybe you two were simply just unfortunate, which is horrible because it's now raining cats and dogs out there. Jongho quietly stood by the window, watching the rain as it pours; poor one, you thought. he must be terribly saddened by now. he was the one who came up with the whole picnic idea and even bought lots of snacks for you to enjoy together. now, it's just not possible to do it because duh, picnic under this goddamn rain?

now, you hate this view. you hate seeing nothing but sadness in his face. god, you wished that you could just stop this rain and change it with the perfect weather, but yeah, obviously, you cannot. Jongho just sat on the couch and reached for his phone. now, it just got worse; you know that it's really bad when he just decided to sit in silence and give all of his attention to his phone.

"jagiiii," you threw yourself on the couch and gave him a tight, warm hug. "it's fine, we can just stay here together. maybe watch some movies or do anything we want."

you know so well that he can't resist that sweet tone of yours.

"mhm," he dropped the phone and turned around to hug you back. "yeah.. it's just, i don't know, i'm kind of devastated. i didn't even expect it to rain. i thought that the weather's gonna be fine today."

you leaned to give him a kiss on his forehead. "we can still enjoy the day, alright? tell me, how can i ease the devastation that you're feeling?"

"oh, don't worry about me. i'll be fine later, love." the lighter look at his face made you believe what he just told you. "hold on..."

suddenly, he's just staring at your lips, examining something. you froze, confused as you were waiting for him to say something else.

"hmm?"

"is that a different shade of lipstick?"

boom. suddenly, your face's hot, blushing like a whore...

all just because he noticed that you're wearing a different shade of lippie. it is a big thing for you. you know so well that he's always just observant and everything, but everytime he points out something new, you couldn't just help it but to fall deeper for him.

"uh," you looked away for a second. "yeah... did it make a lot of difference?"

"no, you still look pretty. i just noticed. that's a nice one, love." even with the plainest tone, you felt like your heart's melting. GOD, he doesn't know what he's doing to you.

"thanks," was all you can say.

"it's missing something, though," he added. "where's your lip gloss?"

oh, right. the damn lip gloss that you were about to apply but you heard the rain pour so you rushed to see if it's really raining earlier.

"ah... i forgot to put it on. wait, i'll get it." you got up to quickly grab it from your room.

you sat on the couch beside him and applied it on your lips. it was a clear lip gloss. fun fact, he got it for you last month for your birthday together with a set of brush for your blush and perfumes. he gets the best gifts for you.

and when you're finally done putting it on, you looked at him and oh god, now he's finally smiling. that smile is to die for. you are no longer worried about him being sad for the rest of the day because the picnic date is cancelled. he can now get to smile and be happy just because you put on a lip gloss in front of him.

"pretty," he muttered. "very pretty, my love."

you smiled back. "stop, god, why is it whenever you speak, i feel like melting or worse, dying? are you a witch or something?" jokingly, you said, and then laughed.

"i am not a witch. you're just inlove with me."

he's damn right.

"i kinda wanna try those lip gloss. is it too sticky?" he stared at your lips again.

"no, not that much. you actually picked a nice brand. wanna put it on?"

"yes, please. put it on my lips."

you applied one more layer on your lips and spread it out real nice. you've been waiting to do this and now is just the perfect time for it, since he asked you to do it. but he wasn't definitely expecting you to do it in this way—it is very unusual, really.

you leaned into him and pressed your lips on his. this move made his heart race and face turn red so quickly. so did yours. you were too nervous and so that "applying lip gloss" move, or should we say, that kiss lasted for a few more seconds before you let go of his face and lips.

his eyes are still open. maybe he was just really shocked and didn't get to enjoy the moment. although he wasn't expecting that, he surely wanted it—he wanted it so much and he didn't even know about it.

you took some time to appreciate how pretty it looks on him. it made his lips look plumper. this man is truly beautiful — maybe more beautiful than you, but that's okay, maybe god just have his favorites.

"woah," was the first thing that came out of his mouth. "do it again."

you were expecting him to react more, as if it is really thrilling. but he just asked for one more... and now you're just shy to do it once again.

"no, i've already put it on you." you refused.

"i don't think you've put enough," he demanded. "go, do it again."

"no wayyyy!" you shouted as you were running away from him.

you proceeded to go to your room, expecting that he didn't even follow you—but boy you were wrong, he was just right behind you, holding your lip gloss.

"come on, love. i enjoyed it. give me one more!"

[lorelaiblair]

My thoughts as I rewatch Wednesday, part 3

Part 1 / Part 2

-xavier has the weathervane and wants to trade with ajax, but ajax goes to uriah’s heap with enid, why didn’t he trade? he is apparently xavier’s best friend and he probably knows what tyler did to him?

-why does donavan hate outcasts so much? he was once married to and had a kid with one? what happened to his wife? does he recognize the hyde attack patterns?

-seen people say wednesday manuipulates enid into trading assignments with her and that literally makes no sense. enid was so excited to spend time with ajax! it was a fair trade!

-eugene with yoko and bianca, i love that weirdo

(took a break 12 minutes in to make brownies and listen to the ologies episode about thanatology, just thought y’all should know that)

-i wish wednesday had severely hurt those pilgrims (i love lucas later on, but my dude??)

-wednesday cleaning his vomit is disgusting.. please please stop, he is capable of cleaning himself off

-“what the fudge are you doing in here missy?!” stop. stop it. never speak again. (i don’t really have a problem with real/other people saying this so idk why it bothers me so much when she does)

-enid and ajax are not two different species (in the way they’re implying at least) they’re outcasts, they’re somewhat popular, they have the sameish friend group, they fit. this conversation doesn’t fit them together, it does fit considering them with other people though. it fits considering wednesday.

-“i can’t believe he asked me!!” honey, my sweet girl, he didn’t.

-“who i speak to is none of your business” damn right!!

-GOODY ISNT A NAME. GOODY IS NOT A NAME!

-hate xavier, all my homies hate xavier

-he never believes her. he doesn’t believe her once without his own confirmation and then even when she proves herself right he STILL doesn’t believe her and then later he claims he always believed her. he lies straight up

-“are you mansplaining my power?” yeah, he really is

-“my dad the expert” YOU DONT LIKE YOUR DAD, YOU HAVE DADDY ISSUES AND MAYBE ITS WHY YOU’RE SUCH A SHIT PERSON, SO WHY ARE YOU AS A MAN WITH DADDY ISSUES USING WHAT HE HAS SAID TO PUT DOWN OTHER PEOPLE?!??

-enid clawing the side of that bus, my love, my girl, she is everything

-why does weems hate morticia so much??? please i need to know

-no because kimbott the therapist frfr scrapes roadkill off of the street and puts them in wedding dresses..

-how does donavan, a man once married to a hyde, not recognize a hyde when he sees one??

[bthump]

hey there!! just wanted to kinda ask more about your take on the haters of griffith's entire reasoning is because of what he did to casca. do you think that is really a valid reason to completely fucking hate him lol? i personally love griffith and i do understand why he did it (i'm NOT justifying SA) due to his complete hatred of guts post defeat & capture. i do also definitely think he is evil as well but would love to hear your take on it a little more.

To be perfectly honest I think just about any reason to hate a fictional character is valid lol so yeah. If people hated him for, idk, wearing a colour they don't like in an official promo I'd consider that valid. And yeah I think raping another character is a fair enough reason for someone to hate a fictional dude.

What I think is less valid is the way a lot of fans express that hate (eg homophobic remarks, harassment towards other fans who don't hate Griffith), or try to justify it further through bad "analysis" of the story, such as asserting that Griffith was always evil and never loved anyone and only wanted to control Guts and Casca etc etc. Like it's okay to hate a fictional character but I wish people could be chill about it lol, and like, recognize that it's fiction and they're getting mad at a drawing.

Anyway, that said, my take on Griffith probably differs a little from yours. eg I don't think he completely hated Guts after Guts defeated him and he was tortured for a year, and in fact I think Griffith sacrificed Guts because he didn't hate him, because even after all that he still loved him and that love had fucked up his life and his dream and ruined everything. So he felt he had to cut Griffith out of him, essentially.

Though as Femto it seems that the negative feelings were given power and by far outweighed the positive feelings. That seems to be part of what makes apostles and godhands monsters in this story. So yeah I definitely think that's at least part of the motivation for the rape scene.

I've been asked a lot about why Griffith/Femto raped Casca so I'll link you to this collection of posts I've written about it, if you're interested!

As for Griffith being evil, you can definitely make a case for Femto, since he's a demon, and NeoGriffith is a wildcard right now, but human Griffith is, imo, probably the most "moral" person in the story, which is a big part of what makes his arc and the sacrifice climax so effective imo. I have a few posts about that if you're interested, here's a link to one that has links to a couple others as well. To me it's vital to the themes of the story that Griffith is not evil as a human, and that his goals and motivations are sympathetic and even admirable. He's a perfect example of the duality of humanity that Berserk loves to delve into, and it's a great "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" style narrative imo.

Thanks for the ask!

[nepenthean-sleep]

Hey hey! For the character meme Gideon!

hello thanks for the ask :)

favorite thing about them i love how she speaks. someone said once that everything she says is like the wrong option in a video game dialogue choice list. all of tamsyn's characters have incredible dialogue but gideon is so goddamn funny especially. like it wraps around from being cringe to being funny again. her narration is excellent.

least favorite thing about them i'm gonna say what i said for harrow, everything about her makes sense for her character and her role in the story.

favorite line given the first answer here you can imagine this is extremely difficult for me. however. i'm going to go with a decidedly unfunny one from chapter 25 of ntn because it makes me feel insane.

Nona had never seen anyone so sad in her whole short life. It made her nearly afraid to die. “Nobody locks me up anywhere,” said Kiriona.

she says!!! while locked in her corpse by her dad!! after being locked in harrow's brain for a year by harrow!! after being locked in drearburh for 18 years by the ninth!! ohhhhhhh my god

brOTP sorry i'm going with gideon and ianthe because they hate each other and i just find that endlessly amusing

OTP griddlehark sweep

nOTP don't really have one, just don't like when she's shipped with men

random headcanon after she goes to canaan house she starts getting freckles because it's her first time in sunlight

unpopular opinion idk i don't really see people talking about this much but like she's an asshole. she has a mean-spirited streak. and like yeah i guess if your opponent in the cartoonishly evil contest is harrow it's gonna make gideon look like a much better person but like. idk everyone was shocked by her being a dick in ntn but it's not really that different from how she was before?

also i really really hate the fandom himboification of her turning her into a one-dimensional horny fuckboi vehicle for harrow to have 36 orgasms or whatever. or the opposite where they make her a loyal idiot golden retriever. butches often have personalities that are not either of these things, actually!

song i associate with them it is 100% absolutely from hell with love and sweet true lies, both by beast in black. not only do they sound like songs i think gideon would listen to, like, the lyrics are so.

Killed my light To serve your delight Now see me ripped apart Ripped apart

Another voiceless cry Another hopeless try I wish you'd open your wings and take me inside From hell with love I write Confess my passion crime Cause to my heart, soul and mind, you are kryptonite Oh babe

like cmon.

Baby, baby tell me more of your lies Say you want me for a lifetime I believe you even when I know it's a lie Love's so blind Sweet true lies

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! thank you @oceanwrath for introducing me to these songs with your tlt art.

favorite picture of them again i can't choose just one there's so much good art in this fandom but my favorites are this FUCKING STUNNING kiriona piece by @nil-elk and this amazing one by @battletailors and this incredible piece by @notedchampagne and this one by @may12324 and this one by oceanwrath and listen ok i just really really like gideon nav 😭

thanks for the ask!

[unicornachos]

Getting tired of seeing gotcha posts on Tumblr lately shitting all over vegans. They've gotten more common over the past few years...

Usually it'll be a post criticising a choice like maybe 3% of vegans actually make, or more usually an imaginary vegan they've pulled from thin air based on their own stereotypes and assumptions, followed by vibes along the lines of' "I know better, actually you don't care about sustainability or human rights at all! You're completely uneducated about (insert any topic here). Gotcha! Who's the morally superior one now, huh" Followed swiftly by the implication that there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, so why try at all.

Like yeah maybe there are some young idiot vegans who think buying pleather boots is ok for the environment, but every vegan I've ever met is more likely to get a second-hand pair of leather boots at an op-shop, because it's better for the environment. Every vegan I know has cared immensely about issues with soy and quinoa, about where their food comes from, about water use and microplastics, who picks their fruit and veg, and human rights in general. More than any non-vegans I know.

So why are we still constantly berated for not doing every single other thing that non-vegans want us to do? It's starting to feel like people have a very specific idea of vegans in their heads and need an outlet for weird anger and misery and frustration, and we're an easier punching bag than the large corporations and governments who dictate the rules of our late-stage capitalist hellscape, so why not have a go?

It really feels like people are unconsciously mad with themselves that they can't do more to help the world and possibly have unexamined issues or guilt with consuming animals themselves, and feel better about themselves after telling vegans they're just not doing their activism hard enough, and that everything they buy from the grocery store is a human rights violation, so really you're just as bad as the rest of us.

Idk man I just. It really feels like a lot of whataboutism most of the time from non-vegans who have a weird, skewed view of militant white vegans, while the majority of vegans (who aren't all white, might I add) are just living their lives, trying to make the world a slightly less shitty place. We should absolutely criticise racist white vegans. Take them the fuck down. I don't think you think vegans are who you think they are, though. Vegans are from intersecting identities just like everybody else, and come from many different countries. And also there are some silly, uninformed vegans with misplaced ideas, just like there are silly, uninformed non-vegans with misplaced ideas. But if you imagine a vegan to be someone you'd hate, it's a lot easier to ridicule them to make you feel like you're right and good.

I just wish that the people who make these posts and the folks who join in and/or reblog, would take a look at themselves and think about what they themselves are doing to prevent cruelty in this world, in any shape or form. Like are you painstakingly making sure you're not buying clothes with plastic in it? Are you checking the label of every food item you buy to make sure you knew where it came from? Do you only buy your veg from local farms within 10km or only eat things from your own garden? If not, idk what to tell you, but it's probably that you should give vegans a break if you're not doing all the very things you tell us we should be doing.

It just feels like a lot of misplaced anger. Why are you so, so enraged at vegans not being perfect people when you could be going and protesting outside the farms of migrant workers, if you're so pissed about where our fruit and veg comes from? If you're mad about fruit and veg, wait till you hear of the human rights abuses in abattoirs.

When someone tells a vegan that there's no ethical consumption under capitalism, it just feels like a cop-out. You're not trying so why should anyone else, right? I just think people should be allowed to try to make the world better in their own ways, and not be ridiculed for not living up to an unattainable standard set my non-vegans.

Being vegan is about doing the least harm you can, within your means. It's not an on-off switch- it's a sliding scale of effort to do less harm. It's not stupid to acknowledge unnecessary suffering and choose not to take part in what's within your means to abstain from. Some vaccines still use animal products. Some of my medication has animal product ingredients. Am I going to go off my meds and become an anti-vaxxer? No. Do I think Indigenous Peoples should stop eating the foods they have always eaten, often for tens of thousands of years before colonisation? Of fucking course not. It's possible try to unsubscribe to shitty things in this world without doing it perfectly. The whole world would be a lot better if most people consumed 70% less animal products, than 2% of the world doing veganism perfectly.

I think most non-vegans are too afraid of what they might find out if they actually research animal agriculture so they stubbornly make excuses not to bother. So that's their choice, but until you're as perfect as how you claim we should be, literally shut the fuck up and find something more productive to do with your time, like actively try to fight against the very things you think we've all somehow decided to turn a blind eye to. Because I bet the majority of people consuming whatever unethical product you've decided on aren't vegans.

Coming across one silly vegan on the internet doesn't mean you have permission now to write off the crucial need for our planet to massively reduce animal agriculture, and the possibility that you might potentially be able to opt out of it. Criticising veganism doesn't mean you've absolved yourself of any harm you yourself are doing, and also doesn't absolve you of finding ways to do less harm to people, animals, and the planet.

And if you're pissed about vegans having moral superiority, I'd really like to see non-vegans examine their own moral superiority they seem to feel they have over vegans.

Ok signing off lol

[mewmaru]

Masters of All Time Breakdown

I wrote all this in my notes, I’m gonna do two parts: this, then a rewrite which is gonna take a bit.

So I decided to watch Masters of All Time. My thoughts will be below. First, I noted everything I liked, and everything I didn’t. I did this as I watched the episode to try to get details as accurately as possible. So now here are the notes I took during the episode, and my thoughts afterwards.

Also before I get started, I want to make this clear: no hate if you like this episode. I’m glad you’re able to enjoy something that was legitimately painful for me. It has a really neat concept, and that’s part of where my disappointment comes from. This isn’t a personal attack on people who enjoy the episode, just me explaining why I hate it. Let’s get into it!

Everything of note that either makes no sense, or points out a writing flaw in other points of the series

Why would clockwork even let Danny do this? Yes, he’s hesitant but Clockwork has been shown to only interfere if absolutely necessary, and seems to think most things happen for a reason. This is one of the things you could excuse though because erasing Vlad’s powers I guess seems like a good idea? But Clockwork should know that something big will happen in result, that fuck Danny himself could not be a ghost or stop existing at all, like yeah Sam and Tucker won’t be infected but they may not even know him at all? At least Clockwork is like yeah you’re gonna learn thing the hard way but eh. Idk you could excuse this one but still doesn’t make sense to me.

How the fuck didn’t Danny realize how big of a difference one small change was gonna make. Like, his parents being ghost hunters and like, still together? Did he not realize that Vlad not having ecno acne was going to change a lot? The incident separated him from Jack and Maddie so him actually still being in their life could change a lot???? Like idk I get Danny’s just a teen but did he learn nothing from The Ultimate Enemy

Twenty years later Jack still has the ecno acne; we don’t have an exact say on why Vlad’s went into remission but it likely had to do with ghost powers and years of hospitalization, was Jack not hospitalized? Wouldn’t he be dead from it?

Okay this one is a big gripe for me. WHY DOES JACK PLASMIUS LOOK LIKE VLAD PLASMIUS? Was that specific strain of ecno acne the vampire inspired strain or something because Vlad’s design is very intentional with his specific character, its personal to him. Jack would most definitely not have made himself look like that, especially with how he tried to do good at first. Like????

Jack hating ghosts makes sense in this world, honestly I wish Vlad shared more of a hatred for ghosts in our current timeline cause that would make a ton of sense “if it wasn’t for ghosts I wouldve never lost the love of my life” where’s that anger with Vlad?

VLAD BEING A FARMER DOESN’T FUCKING MAKE SENSE. Okay so like, you take from Bitter Reunions how he says “I didn’t have any old moves, all those years in the hospital robbed me of that” after being tackled holding a football implies he may have wanted to play football. That’s a stretch? Well his entire house is decked head to toe in packers memorabilia, and in the college photo we see HE’S WEARING PACKERS COLORS!!!! He couldn’t do an active career like football after being hospitalized, but if that never happened, why fucking. FARMING? DAIRY FARMING? HUUHHHH. WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM?

“I didn’t destroy the past, I destroyed the present!” YOU FUCKING THINK? WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN that like nothing else would change except Vlad not having ecno acne? Okay this one’s just a nitpick and I’m aware of that lol, Danny’s just a teen I know he wasn’t thinking about the consequences

WHHYYYYY does Vlad still live in the same castle? I know he’s the new dairy king whatever he owns that castle in the present cause he’s rich as sin, how did he become the dairy king? Maybe its explained? I’m writing this as I watch

Why does Vlad have grey hair? It became grey because of the incident. Speaking of, why does Jack have black hair? Make it make sense

Yeah this is a complaint because you’ll see. Vlad is clearly in love with Maddie, truly. He seems to genuinely care for her. I know later they just make him controlling for no reason which I’ll get into but like, it’s nice to see him actually care for her and her care for him too.

Why is Vlad super anti ghost? One of my “compliments” is how I think Jack hating ghosts makes sense. And tbh in the true current, Vlad having a hatred for ghosts for the same reason would make sense, he was disfigured, hospitalized, and he never got to confess to the girl he loved the most. In this world, Vlad has no good reason to hate ghosts unless he for some reason knows Jack is a ghost? We see that before any changed to the timeline are made, Vlad was a bit annoyed with how Jack and Maddie got along, maybe it has something to do with that? I dunno. I feel like this choice was made just so they gave Vlad a reason to be controlling. But Vlad is only the way he is because of the incident bitter and resentful of a life he never got to have, so why the fuck is he just controlling and mean? Why when he has everything he wants, is he still a dick? Because he’s just like that no matter what because the writers didn’t want to add anything thought provoking about how Maddie and Vlad could’ve actually been good for each other. No, Vlad’s evil no matter what blah blah blah

AND ANOTHER THING. Maddie is shown to have other personality traits then liking ghost hunting, like, Jack is the one super obsessed. She’s the one that gets annoyed that Jack makes it his everything. Who knows, if she had a life without Jack, would she have continued her thing for ghosts? Thought provoking questions this episode won’t answer. This was again just a choice made so Vlad could be controlling.

Vlad immediately forgives Maddie because he doesn’t wanna doubt her oh gee maybe its cause he actually loves her. Nahhh we can’t have that.

How did Maddie build an entire underground ghost Lab that Vlad didn’t notice. Also how does she still have the suit

Whyyyyy would Vlad slander Jack to Maddie? Is the personality they wanna give that Vlad was always jealous of Jack and Maddie’s relationship? I mean, I guess so? I guess this one could make sense but it makes me wish we knew more about their trio’s relationship in college besides what we see and how Jack describes it; Vlad did always seem like a third wheel, I guess this one could happen but as I said, just makes me wish we had more context as a whole, could make this action make more sense

Why is Vlad in his suit all of a sudden. Did they forget what episode they were doing. Did they just straight up forget. Also it’s the middle of the night why isn’t he in pajamas or something. Huh.

I just hate the narrative Danny Phantom has as a whole with how some characters are just meant to be together so other pairings have to not work or be bad in some way. How about thought provoking stuff about how the relationships that seem destined to be actually good have some solid rivalry? No? All other parings don’t work just because even if it means mischaracterizing? Kay.

I had a thought here about Vlad’s anger at Danny not making sense but I don’t remember what it was. Maybe relates again to the ghost hating thing making no sense. Idk my brain cells are dying.

“None of this should be happening” “I like it this way” what this way? Being with Maddie? I mean yeah? I mean did the writers forget that Vlad doesn’t have the knowledge of his baseline current self here?

Because I hate it so much just another point to say I hate Vlad’s behavior here. He’s just evil and manipulative no matter what? Why? Just because? Because that’s Vlad Masters? Are we forgetting that his usual behavior is very much a product of his rage and bitterness about a life that was robbed of him? Or am I just giving the “evil villain” too much credit. This is pissing me off

Things I liked about the episode:

I think the bit at the beginning with Danny’s parents embarrassing him was silly, entertaining

I like Vlad’s attitude of like “oh you’re giving me chills” just his sassiness lmao

I like getting to see more insight into the day of the incident, Vlad trying to confess but being stopped by Maddie, that was neat

Seeing exactly what caused the incident was neat, too, that it truly was Jack’s fault

It’s kinda funny that we can tell Jack didn’t name Danny cause he thinks the name is dumb

I do like we get to see Jack chose the name Jasmine, as he mentions having a cat named Jasmine

I liked seeing Vlad say like oh Danny I knew you could do it, neat to see him acknowledge that Danny can be pretty smart, even if he kinda forced his hand here

I’m too tired to go into detail, so I’ll do it later but Jesus Christ this episode sucked. It had good things about it but so much shit just didn’t make sense and was just a blatant mischaracterization of Vlad

Alright I’m finally back to this after a couple of weeks, the episode seriously drains me that much, wish I was kidding. As stated in a previous post this episode makes me so angry that it has the power to make me dissociate and feel physically ill. Some of my comments are nitpicks, and I’m aware of that. I hate the episode so I’m just angry about even little things, I know that’s weird, lol. But, I thought I’d share these nitpicks anyway.

The notion that Vlad would be evil no matter what just doesn’t make a single lick of sense considering how Bitter Reunions builds him up to show that his anger and well, bitterness stems from being robbed of the life he never got, and his desperation to have that life now. Maybe I’m just biased but Jesus. Some people will try to claim that Vlad would still be evil therefore deserves no sympathy on like, posts and videos about him and if someone starts their comment with “but in masters of all time”, the rest of the comment is immediately static to me.

I do want to make it clear the things Vlad does due to his anger is not acceptable (I’ve even got an analysis of his character in the works that addresses this further), I just see so much potential for him to be better, and Masters of All Time could’ve been that episode. To show that he’s truly a victim of circumstance that is overwhelmed by his anger and jealousy, that these events truly shaped him into the not so great person we see in the show, but that he didn’t /have/ to be evil, that if given the life he wanted, the one he felt he deserved, that he could’ve been better.

I also think this episode missed the mark to be more creative design wise. Jack could’ve had his own ghost form! That would’ve been so cool! I also would’ve LOVED to see more of the college trio’s dynamic. Were Vlad and Jack truly best friends, or was that just Jack’s rose tinted glasses? I know it’s a kids show from 20 years ago but damn they could’ve done more here. I think this episode could’ve benefited from being another 40 minute special, although I know that’s unrealistic. Just a sorta, how I’d do things thing.

That’s basically it from me in terms of the episode. But, only for now. I plan to rewrite the episode, soon! Including some of my own HCs about the college trio, and who Vlad could’ve been if the incident didn’t happen, and how Jack and Maddie could’ve been! How this could’ve been a more thought provoking episode as a whole. I may even do some drawings :3 I’m excited to share my thoughts on what we could’ve had. But, keep in mind they will simply be my ideas, and not a definitive “the writers should’ve done this instead”, just my hcs and such. This is my first sorta DP writing post, but hopefully not my last. I enjoy sharing my thoughts like this, and I know some of my YTTD ones have reached a good bit of people, so I’m curious as to how this’ll be received.

Again, yeah, I’m biased, I hate this episode, I nitpicked. This is not at all a defense of every single bad thing Vlad has done, just my opinions on why the choices made here don’t make sense.

[smoothoperador]

K NO BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT.

cause yeah ttpd is SO boring. like i know most of the songs are 3+ min but tbh most of them don’t sound like songs! gun to my head i couldn’t tell you the difference between the prophecy the manuscript chloe or sophia or marcus or whateverthefuck that song is called.

i miss when she put actual effort into her albums, like red. like the tv of red is so amazing, but with 1989 tv it just feels SO lacking especially in the production, and the vault songs don’t even sound like songs! like with red and fearless and even speak now we got fully produced songs that felt special, but with 1989 tv and 80% of ttpd it sounds like scraps she picked up from the floor and glued them together to make a semblance of a song and it’s so disheartening from someone who has genuinely loved her music for years and the different eras but now it all sounds the same

yeah i've been vocal about how much I dislike her new stuff dating back to midnights. i really DON'T LIKE this stripped down, minimalistic synthpop where everything is the same note and there is not a single drum or guitar and i found midnights quite frankly very underwhelming upon its release, but i figured to each their own; besides, taylor's sound famously always evolves in between eras. but she never departed from that direction, which i honestly don't know who to fault for... is it because she genuinely likes it and thinks it's her forte? (it's not. her forte is dramatic storytelling and epic guitars. her forte is speak now and folklore!!) is it because jack and aaron pull her in that direction? is it because she comes to them with half-assed ideas and they're too reluctant to go against their wishes? is it simply mass production of songs? idk, but what she knows is that she could release out a voice memo of her singing the abcs and it would go platinum.

the 1989 vault tracks were the ones i was looking forward to the most, and they were truly disappointing... 1989 had a clear line of production that i loved, but all of the vault tracks were CLEARLY produced after (or during) midnights. now it all feels like midnights rejects that didn't make the cut, and to be honest the last release that felt like it really belonged on its original album is all of the girls you loved before (and sntv vault tracks i guess, i didn't like them tho)

but even THEN midnights was bearable because it had highs (songs that were different, like snow on the beach; or songs that were poignant, like yoyok) but ttpd ... ttpd is unforgivably BLAND. all the songs mesh into one another, even without the sour aftertaste of matty healy the lyrics are abysmal in comparison to what she's come up with before. theres a few good songs hiding in there (so long london and who's afraid are my faves (but once again im gonna hunt down the coward who couldn't make it an actual ROCK song as it shouldve been), i hate it here could also be cute were it not for the corny gen-z title and horrible horrible 1830s lyric), but theyre all undermined by this boring ass coating that envelops the whole album and also drowned out by the sound of 31 SONGS (!!!!) 31 songs is like thrice the size of some albums and it's TOO. MUCH. doesn't give room for the good songs to shine and also pollutes the air with tracks that clearly should've never left taylor's diary. (ttpd song, bdilh, guilty as sin etc are all SO BAD AND ICKY theyre unforgivable)

i've said this before but taylor is truly the mcu of the music industry: she has an incredibly strong and devoted fanbase, she's easily accessible (as in she makes fun pop and pop rock with easy lyrics and hooks which is something MOST of the general public enjoys), she comes out with several new installments a year (of varying quality...), and the longer it goes the more enjoying her and her music requires an encyclopedic knowledge of her previous works (with all the references, easter eggs, etc). and im really sad to think we'll never see the daring taylor that released red when everyone was highly skeptical of the mixed pop/country sound, or the taylor that has the range to make both better than revenge and ivy.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

okay okay okay so i just watched the pbs great performances hamlet and it was. SO GOOD. oh my god. here are my many, many thoughts:

- the singing starting the show is fucking amazing

- the opening funeral scene and then the transition to the wedding goes so hard

- ophelia’s song having lines from hamlet’s letters to her .. …

- this polonius casting is GOD TIER like yeah. that’s what he looks like. that’s correct.

- i don’t like that they cut the opening ghost scene :/

- omg this horatio <33 i love him sm

- horatio’s black nail polish is everything to me

- ophelia is so hot oh my god

- i love a production that plays up the sibling dynamic between ophelia and laertes

- on that note, ophelia and laertes making fun of polonious is always so fun

- the modern aspects with masks and stuff are so interesting

- the ghost possessing hamlet???? oh my god i’m obsessed why have i never seen that done before

- the actor rolling his eyes back so that you only see the whites of his eyes while he’s possessed is so fucking cool

- i love productions that have hamlet cut his hand on his sword idk why i just do

- also horatio not even hesitating to cut his own hand? i’m insane

- ah fuck,,,, hamlet and horatio grasping each others bloody hands… horatio clasping hamlet’s hand with both his hands,, i’m unwell 😭

- gertrude and claudius being super horny for each other always makes me so uncomfortable

- these ros and guil costumes are great

- big fan of productions that make claudius be super charismatic it’s always such an interesting choice

- god this polonious is so good, he’s so fucking funny

- i love hamlet’s rings <3

- hamlet taking a selfie with the stacie abrams poster is crazy

- hamlet’s personalized handshakes with ros and guil are so cute

- it’s interesting that it’s fully set in america and that all the lines referencing denmark were cut out/changed

- i’m trying to figure out what hamlet was reading but i can’t and it’s driving me crazy 😩

- hamlet smacking polonious on the ass was crazy

- god i love a production that leans into the comedic aspects of this play,, it may be shakespeare’s most famous tragedy but it’s also funny as fuck sometimes

- the incorporation of singing/rapping throughout the show is so good

- also polonious as the one white guy in the room being like. ‘erm actually i don’t like the rapping 🤓☝️’ ,,, stfu man

- i need to know who wrote the lyrics for these songs bc they’re so good and they incorporate the original text so well

- fucking hell man,, his to be or not to be was amazing

- the “where’s your father” moment was so good

- oh my god horatio’s costume change,, the pink suit,,, i love him :’)

- i wish productions didn’t cut down the passions slave speech as much as they tend to do :/

- god ophelia’s dress is GORGEOUS

- polonious being the only one wearing a mask was wild but also so real (as someone who has often been the only person masked in a room)

- god this claudius is really good i appreciate the depth he brings to the role

- hmm interesting place for an intermission idk how i feel about this

- polonious in comfy clothing,, rest in peace peepaw 😭🫡

- polonious’ body lying on the bed during the entire closet scene is so fucked

- sometimes i wish i didn’t know this play so well so i could watch adaptions without noticing every single line they leave out,,,

- jfc,, hamlet wiping the blood off his knife onto the bedsheets,,,

- gertrude not hugging claudius back 👀

- claudius punching hamlet >:(

- idk how i feel about the decision to make ros and guil know about hamlet being sent to his death

- let’s be honest i’m mostly here for solea pfeiffer’s portrayal of ophelia’s madness

- the running makeup and the messy hair. YES.

- i hate that i have a certain melody to ophelia’s songs in my head so when i hear other versions with different melodies i’m like. hmm. incorrect.

- holy fuck she’s so incredible… the ophelia ever oh my god

- YESSSS INCLUSION OF THE HORATIO LETTER SCENE FUCK YEAH (i hate when adaptations don’t include this scene)

- horatio is reading the letter like omg pirates my boyfriend is so cool

- it’s always so funny to me that claudius and laertes make a plan, a backup plan, and a backup backup plan for killing hamlet and it still backfires and kills them both (i mean it does also work to kill hamlet. but still.)

- the portrait of king hamlet watching the entire show goes so hard

- this gravedigger is so amazing i’m obsessed

- ugh 😭 the singers singing the same song at ophelia’s funeral as at the king’s 😩

- oh FUCK ophelia coming out at her funeral.. the watery lighting… i’m going insane

- horatio holding hamlet and comforting him :(

- laertes apparently being able to see the ghost of ophelia makes him as a narrative foil to hamlet all the more juicy

- the eat a crocodile line is always so random lmao

- aw fuck…. laertes singing really got me… :(

- oh my GOD this osric is so fucking funny

- lmao osric beefing with horatio

- horatio in the background of the fencing match cheering on hamlet <3

- claudius standing and rubbing gertrude’s shoulders knowing she’s about to die :( this isn’t fair i’m not allowed to be emo about them

- hamlet offering laertes the sword and then laertes stabbing him with it,,,

- gertrude’s realization of what happened right before she dies was so good

- claudius cutting his own hand on the sword was a powerful choice

- it’s always funny to me when productions completely cut out the fortinbras plotline

- horatio catching hamlet as he falls :(

- horatio singing to hamlet after he dies… i am so incredibly unwell 😭😭

- THE GHOST WAS VOICED BY SAMUEL L. JACKSON?!?? crazy.

overall, amazing production. i loved the musical elements. definitely my favorite ophelia and polonius i’ve seen, possibly my favorite laertes and claudius as well. the hamlet/horatio relationship wasn’t quite as prominent as i would’ve liked it to be, but it was still really great, and i enjoyed analyzing all the little moments they did have.

[coffehbeans]

Hi!!! :D A5 for any OCs, and then B6 and B7 for the g/t ask game?? :3c

Hiii Eliza! Thanks sm for the asks! <3

Ok, for A5 I thought about doing for multiple ocs ahsuas, so here we go!

A5. Your characters favorite way to be carried/carry someone?

Juhren: He's not a very big giant so usually humans are the size of his hand or bigger, so he usually prefers to carry them around with both hands cupped around them. Gotta keep them safe and steady as much as possible. Juhren doesn't really act like this when he's trying to appear threatening, though...

Sunflower: She doesn't like feeling restrained by a giant hand, so riding on shoulder is the best thing for her, freedom of movement even if it's a little challenging to balance herself.

Ethan: After he reached his full size he feels so awkward carrying people he'd rather not carry them at all. Everyone is so small it makes him feel stressed out, but in extreme cases he'll prefer to carry only one human with an open palm. Although his hand has space for more than one human, he'd rather not.

Aegir: He likes to pinch a human with his thumb and forefinger, makes it easier to observe them and turn them around. Of course, he has no idea how terrifying this is for them lol

Caytlin: She prefers to sit down on Aegir's open palm. Although it's rare for him to stop himself from fidgeting her around, to her dismay ahsush

Alaric: He cups both hands around them. He does so with Estelle, and he can't see himself carrying another human in a different way. It's safer this way and makes him feel more at ease.

Estelle: She prefers to have cupped hands around her, makes it easier to not see how high up she is and she doesn't have to deal with the scary eyes of other giants staring at her.

That was a long one, sorry ahsush

B6. A trope you’d like to see more of

I said it once and I'll say it again, growth! It's soo very unusual to see g/t fics with growth in it. We see a lot of shrinking, but almost never the other way around! I'm trying to change that, as y'all can see with my fics, but it feels lonely at times ahssuh the best part about a character turning giant is The Fear of Being Perceived TM, afraid of yourself and of others, not because you're weak but because you're so big and strong you can't trust yourself - HHHH It's so good!

Another trope that I wanted to see more of is accidental city rampage! Really wish it was more common. A giant dealing with being stranded in a city full of panicking tiny people while they try their best not to knock things around, it's such good tension!

B7. Least favorite trope/aspect of g/t?

Shrinking. Ashush yes I know, I'm the number 1 disliker of shrinking in the g/t community. Everyone seems to love it, and I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't. The loss of power and vulnerability that comes with it is just too much for me to handle. It's not comfort for me as it is for everyone else, it actually makes me feel uncomfortable and anguished somehow? Idk why, but I simply hate the idea of becoming so tiny and helpless.

That connects to another least favorite aspect of g/t: tinies being useless. Yeah, a hot take. But I don't like it when g/t fics make the tiny depend on the giant for everything, or when they're under control of a giant. It's simply uncomfortable. I like the idea of tiny people finding agency and power despite their disadvantages, and not the other way around. It simply rubs me the wrong way.

Well, that got awfully long ashussh hope you don't mind, Eliza! I tend to ramble a lot ashushs

Thanks sm for your asks! I loved answering them <3

[florallylly]

side a: eddie munson

side a

side b side b: steve harrington

explanation post

just going to go straight to my very very stream of consciousness commentary about each song but i want to clarify that i'm an eddie munson is dirty and gross truther and also i hate that rat man (endearing). so yes it might play into some of my thoughts

some songs are kind of vibe-y and you can tell when my explanations start getting contrived and bad but bear with me. i DO have some specific keystone songs idc KEYSTONE i love the word ok anyway

“I” Black Sabbath; eddie munson you are a LOSER with OPINIONS we get it. like yes you are so persecuted by everyone sure you’re going to prove us all wrong 

“Heaven and Hell” Black Sabbath; tbh added to match with heaven/hell in the other playlist, but somehow it’s kind of giving munson doctrine to me. literally googled and supposedly it’s about like band kids (??) but i think just like “the world is full of kings and queens/who blind your eyes and steal your dreams” i can literally hear eddie munson quoting it

“Fade to Black” Metallica; UGH why are there so many long periods of silence at the beginning and end of these songs. but just adding to the eddie munson i’m so outcast bad boy drug dealer thing and like. had to have metallica

“I Don’t Wanna Be Me” Type O Negative; idk if anyone can tell that i think eddie is a big dramatic loser who thinks he’s the main character (endearing?) like I AM RIGHT… 

“skins” The Haunting; okay this song is saur…. like normal people scare me i’m such a freak coded

“Nosferatu” Blue Oyster Cult; a nod to Eddie Munson being a BIG LOSER NERD. ugh whatever honestly parallels a lot of kas theory fic imo, like innocent maiden steve offering his blood to vampire eddie … why have i read it several times over. in my head, this is like. eddie munson having a dirty dirty loser fantasy about king steve 

“Teenage Dirtbag” Wheatus; need I say more………. 

“The Sun Always Shines on T.V.” a-ha; yeah… YEAH. it’s a steve song on here. i like tried to do this thing where on each playlist there are keystone songs and this is one of them. like, the song that’s in the other’s genre is the moment they fall in love even if they don’t realize it yet. but re: the song like it’s so eddie having this realization that when he was picturing king steve, he only saw him through snapshots and now that he’s live and an actual tangible human it’s different. like  LIKE

“18” Anarbor; tbh i am trying so hard to add some of these songs bc they are so quintessential to me and my connection of music to fandom, BUT IDK…. ITS HARD…. but yeah it’s very steve harrington would never really want to be with me, i’m such a bad boy. okay….  

“Poison” Alice Cooper; eddie munson ur horny . eddie munson we’re sworn enemies like ur a jock and i’m a nerd and like could i light my cigarette with ur cock please please 

“Falling In Love” Scorpions; “falling in love, it happens to me every day” okay eddie munson i did NOT see u doodling hearts around steve’s name in the fourth grade

“Around the Fur” Deftones; i do not know why but for some reason feeling like steve still hanging around his old crowd, and eddie getting all weird about it. IDK !! does it not just feel so eddie munson

“Closet” Fleshwater; an interlude-y song here kind of an angsty moment for eddie 

“I Was Made For Loving You” KISS; SECOND KEYSTONE SONG…. this song signals the first time they sleep together. i am so sorry eddie munson but this music actually DOES give me migraines but i tried very hard  

“Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)” Deftones; eddie’s dreams about leaving hawkins and becoming famous. just in general his wishes to be somewhere he’s wanted and where he belongs. idk i feel like it’s eddie talking about all of these grand plans for his future and turning to steve and being like “and what about you?” and steve doesn’t have an answer.

“Covet” Basement; “you are everything/my most demanding dream” like like like eddie munson loving and hating that he’s in love with steve harrington who is hawkins to the bone and seems determined to die there. 

“Ghosts” Scarlet House; in my head this is eddie munson angsting after seeing steve hanging around nancy wheeler or robin buckley depending on when exactly we’re setting this. but it’s very woe is me i’m lost without you. idk it could literally even just be they fought and steve is at the grocery store chilling and eddie munson is literally frothing at the mouth sobbing in his van 

“Saturnine Saturnalia” VV; “there is no end to the hurting/i love you” saturnalia was a roman festival where they indulged in mischief and partying and whatnot. feeling like at this point, even if it’s fake, even if it ends up hurting me, i’ll take whatever i can get kind of feeling. maybe it’s like realizing he won’t be free of hawkins unless he lets go of steve or thinking that he’s just a stop on the way to a white picket fence. and i think that maybe this is the moment when eddie begins to realize how deeply he feels for steve.

“Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want” Deftones; PLEASE LET THE MAN GET WHAT HE WANTS !!! FOR ONCE !!! he is out here every single day dealing drugs PLEASE give him a sexy passenger princess to come with him on deals

“Black Butterflies and Deja Vu” The Maine; ik it’s a jump scare but KEYSTONE SONG…. the moment when they admit they’ve fallen in love. this is their aha moment. their AHA! moment not a-ha… but yeah…. eddie munson finally being like wait i’m in love with steve harrington and idk for how long but i’m in trouble

the future holds IDK ... just this part took me this long so PLEASE spare me i literally wrote this out on my notes app

[kandyzee]

thoughts on the book Fiona found and read during Monica's funeral? Not that if it exists, or maybe. I find it interesting that's what she used to maybe get to know her better? Or to have something to say since she had nothing? What did the book mean to her?

Honestly, I haven't really thought about this in depth before. I kinda just skipped past it as something insignificant, so thanks for asking this :)

So, from what i found, the book she finds is Siddhartha, a story of a man going on a spiritual journey. I've never read it so idk if everything I'm saying here is right cause its just what I gathered from Google

In the book, Siddhartha feels like he has to leave his family and feels like his child hated him because he has riches. I think this is something Monica would deeply relate to. Siddhartha fasts, becomes homeless, renounces all personal possessions, and intensely meditates when he starts his journey. Inconsistent eating, giving away/losing belongings, racing thoughts, and zoning out are all things that can happen when someone is in a manic episode. What Siddhartha does and how Monica may feel during an episode are very similar, and given that she's manic she probably believes she is also on a journey of enlightenment like the protagonist. It makes sense to me that this novel would be something Monica held close. At the end of the story, Siddhartha reaches enlightenment. He reconnects with his son in the sense that he can let him go, so basically, it's a happy ending. Monica wants that. That story is hope for her. In the same way Siddhartha is helped during his spiral journey, Monica wishes to be helped on her mental health journey.

'for every true statement there is an opposite one that is also true' I can see Monica connecting this to herself. The conflict of truth is similar to her own conflict of emotions. Or maybe even her 'true self' like she's a bad mother (true) but she also wants to connect and care about her children (true) thoese 2 statements are right but what one is more her?

Literature is a fantastic way to express yourself. Monica expresses herself through her love for the novel, she even underlines parts of it. Fiona never got to understand her mother when she was alive and now is her chance. It's not Monica's words but it can be seen as things she didn't get to say. In s1 fiona refers to lip as their mums favourite, we see during the show that Monica's favourite is Ian or Debbie, Monica tries to take Liam away for another chance. Many times fiona is overlooked by her mother (this happens to Carl too) but this book is hers. Its a chance not to only understand Monica but to have something one on one with her.

I think fiona would also relate to the book herself. Fiona leaves her family - like Monica and Siddhartha- after she gets a lot of money -like Siddhartha- so that she can become her own better person. She's starting her own journey. Even tho fiona hadn't left yet when Monica died I would love if this book stayed with her. Maybe it helps her come to the decision that she's ready to leave. Like Monica fiona craves help and support we see this all the time, normally in the form her acting rude and demanding praise but that's not important rn. Reading the Siddharthas story might of prompted her to see her how and her mum arent always so different.

Fiona quotes the book at Monica's funeral and I really really tried to find what quote it was but I sadly couldn't get a concrete answer. I think the fact fiona memorised a quote (probably one of the ones Monica had underlined) shows just how much she wanted to understand. Fiona doesn't say many good things about monica, she's always angry at her, blaming her (for good reason obviously) but lots of the time I think fiona uses angry as a way to cover up her sadness towards monica. Yeah she says she's happy she's dead but she still took time to memories quotes her mum held close to herself.

The book might also be a replacement of motherly advice. The novel is filled with wisdom. Monica had read the book, she had internalised the philosophies and now Fiona gets to do the same. Monica never got to bond with fiona and help her becomes the person she's meant to be like she's meant to. Monica passing down the book is like passing down her wisdom. She couldn't shape fiona when she was alive but she can indirectly help when she's dead.

Okayy I don't really have anything else to say, I kinda wanna read the book now tho. The shameless writers really ate with this one might be one of my new favourite details.