Tumgik
#so yeah thats tonights thoughts bc i was sad :)
opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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#its seems we really may be at the end of vanity#i missed a call from my dad and thought we might be in a connors birthday situation but no. not yet#he did say that it feels like this is it bc my mom's situation is complicated bc she has so much wrong at this point#its like a h0use md episode. the doctors dont seem to kno what to do and shes not very coherent#so my dad was saying that i should look at flights and by tonight hell let me kno if i should pull the trigger and buy a one way ticket home#it sucks. he sounds rough. i feel so bad for him. his wife of 29 years is dying#its not fair. shes only 53#i wanna be there but im stuck here across the country. i wanna go home. thats a bit frighting tho bc itll take me at least 10 hrs to travel#and i dont want her to die while im in the air but i also dont want her to suffer#i hope she gets better but if she doenst i hope its fast. there dont seem to do any good options. shes so tried and its so complicated#and if she does get better than this then what would that even mean? my sister says it doesnt feel like there will b a better anymore after#this. and bless her to the ends of the earth she reached out this morning and was giving me updates#comforting to kno im not just being dramatic. its actually just really bleak#its kinda funny tho. my sister was like meh it doesnt seem so bad and then like 10min later she was like yeah no i was wrong its sorta#horrible apprently shes been deterorating#god. if i go back home do i take clothes for a funeral? do i keep up to date with my genomics class? will i become offset from my graduate#cohort? will i get my wish to play with legos at home? all questions worth considering#well. ill deal with whatever comes. so it goes. itll b fine. i mean ill b fine#just sad ya kno?#three weeks ago she was alright and saying she could fly out to take care of me after oral surgery#now shes dying#unrelated
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spkdnailbats · 2 years
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oboes-bos-hoes · 1 year
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The byler brainrot is real and taking over, so let me share some lyrics from my fave songs that give me byler vibes
links for the songs will be at the end of the post
"Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down, when they do, I'll be right behind you" - Everybody wants to rule the world by Tears for Fears
(this is gonna be a long post)
"I'd die at the thought of the loss of your heart" - Love is reason by a-ha
"I'd never mean to hurt you, baby, I'm not that kind of man; I might not say I'm sorry, yeah, I might talk tough sometimes, and I might forget the little things, or keep you hanging on the line" - I'd die for you by Bon Jovi
"Something happens and I'm head over heels, I never find out until I'm head over heels" - Head over heels / broken by Tears for Fears
"I've done all I can do, all the letters I've sent through; put my life in the palms of your hands, maybe now you can see, that it's got to be me, but if you leave me, I'll understand" - You are the one by a-ha (THIS LINE IS LIKE. SO MIKE WHEELER CODED??)
"Turn in my sleep, a bad dream is over, think of you and shall I ever recover?" - I want to wake up by Pet shop boys
(fun fact, the lead singer of pet shop boys, Neil Tennant, is gay :D)
(this means theres gonna be a lot of songs from them in here bc gay boi in the 80s??) (also they r my fav band/pop duo(?) so. )
'It's mad, to be in love with someone else, when you're in love with he, she's in love with me, but you know as well as I do I can never think of anyone but you" - I want to wake up by Pet shop boys (this is kinda jumbled but if u kind of like. pretend that it makes sense for byler then it makes sense so go away)
"To fall in love, is it so uncool?" - I want to wake up by Pet shop boys ("i'm not.. gonna fall in love")
"Every time I see you something happens to me, like a chain reaction, between you and me, my heart starts missing a beat" - Heart by Pet shop boys
"If I didn't love you, I would look around for someone else, but every time I see you, you have the same effect, my heart starts missing a beat, my heart starts missing a beat, every time" - Heart by Pet shop boys
"Every time I see you, no matter what we do, there's a strange reaction, can you feel it too?" - Heart by Pet shop boys
"I don't care whether it's wrong or right, I want a lover tonight" - I want a lover by Pet shop boys
"Put your arms around me, it doesn't mean you love me, just that you want me and you need my company" - I want a lover by Pet shop boys (ok Micheal we get it, its just a hug)
"I'll never let you see, the way my broken heart is hurting me, I've got my pride and I know how to hide all my sorrow and pain, i'll do my crying in the rain" - Crying in the rain by a-ha (i'll do my crying in the van rain)
"And you think love is to pray, but I'm sorry I don't pray that way" - Tainted love by Soft Cell
"But now you're leaving... How many hearts must you break? How many calls must I make? But now you're leaving... In this world, all that I choose has come unbearable, but love is in your touch, ooh, it's killing me so much, only when you leave I need to love you" - Only when you leave - Spandau ballet
"Yeah she's my man" - She's my man by Sigue Sigue Sputnik (mike wheelerr) (i'll let u figure this out, i dont wanna try make a whole point here)
"You always wanted me to be something I wasn't" - What have i done to deserve by Pet shop boys (everytime i hear this lyric i get so sad)
welp that is it for noowww but feel free to reblog with ur fav byler coded lyrics :)
SONG LINKS:
ONLY 10 AUDIOS PER POST?????? WHY?? THATS SO DUMB WTF TUMBLR
last one is She's My Man by Sigue Sigue Sputnik
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bellsandwistfulness · 2 years
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sooo they broke up
and the thing is, im almost more sad about her
tbh things have been going okay in my life, i sort of got over my crush on my bsf, we didnt have any classes together in the new semester and we stopped hanging out so much bc of school and changing friends and stuff
but i still like him dearly, would kill for him etc etc we still have a good time when we do hang out, it just doesnt happen as much
but he started the point in his relationship cycle where he starts to notice things that annoy him and instead of trying to fix or work on the relationship, he just spirals until he fucking hates the girls guts and they end on a bad note, which pretty much is what happened
but the thing is, his gf and i got along really really well, like we used to regularly talk until late at night for hours, about anything and i would always be in his snaps to her (god that sounds so gen z of me)
and he finally broke it off with her tonight, sent a whole ass paragraph and she called him up crying. he texted me within seconds which is nice to know im thought of but also like
i like this girl as a friend, shes great and personally i dont have many problems with her. we got along well and i enjoyed her company (both online and irl)
and now i cant talk to her, or at least it wont be the same. my bsf lost a (admittedly semi-toxic) gf but i lost a friend. i grieve for the friendship we could have had, if we hadnt met through him
and i feel like if i reach out to her then itll just remind her of him, and she wont want to hear from me, or that shell think im only doing it to spite her or to take his side or smth, and thats not true. i am worried about her as a friend and i wish i could comfort her. but ill always be his friend first, and besides, if i reach out now then shell know hes told me immediately which is a conversation i do not want to have
so yeah. sad over losing her. but ultimately i will always be there for him first. as cliche as it is, girlfriends can come and go, but i will always be there for him. i never understood that until the past couple of years. they may know him in ways i dont, but ive known him far longer than they have, and ill know him after theyre gone.
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pepprs · 4 years
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not to say stupid shit like NOT to say stupid shit cuz I know this is stupid shit im abt to say but it’s just like. idk. weird to see posts on here and twitter abd shit abt like..... what rosh hashanah is and how to celebrate it and why u shouldn’t say rip when a jewish person dies and the various manifestations of ant*semitism and shit. idk why it’s weird but it’s weird 4 me
#purrs#jewish tag#like ppl are allowed to post abt it im not saying the posts are bad its just like.. all this stuff abt ‘educating’ and ‘spreading awareness’#just feels like......... idk. weird in some way i dont know how to describe. also i had a fucking horrible thought tonight during the#service we watched which was like..... im so relieved this is virtual and not in person bc for the first time in my cpnscious life i can#like. not be hyperaware of every person entering tje space and every shift in movement i see bc i always get scared the like. One time a yr#we go to services that like... Something Bad Will Happen If U Catch My Drift. and it was a relief not to worry abt tjat tonight and it was#sad to me to realize that. idk. i feel like i dont even like.. have the authority to talk abt tjis bc i feel like. detached from my#jewishness or whatver but also im still so connected to it in ways i cant explakna and yet the disconnect makes me feel like.. ah and tjen#seeing posts..... like AGAIN theyre not bad. its kust.. weird. like i feel studied or something. but thats mot necessarily bad#like all these posts telling goyim what to do and how to interact w us just feels like.... A Lot but also i never talk abt my jewishness#w ppl who arent jewish and have never felt comfortable fully allowing myself to and there are a lot of reasons why and idk how to like. talk#abt it or feel abt it. yeah im gonna shut up now but its just a lot. anyways all this is to say i feel weird abt being jewish again which is#mothing new and yet i still know all the songs and remember them and like. felt so jeavy today knowing this is not a happy new yr or whatevr#ok i think im done now. sorry KDHFKFNDKFJDJF#delete later#like half the time... ok this is AWFUL but half the time im like..... wait im jewish? criiiinge and the other half of the time im like.....#wait im jewish? thank GOD and its just like. a lot i guess and i hate the part of me that feels like i have to hide it but idk what not#hiding it even... entails or looks like. and its just uh. yeah 😔
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moonchildstyles · 2 years
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Older h being away for some work thing without her and they always have their secluded nightly call but this night he is late :( so she texts him “if you aren’t busy old man call me? <3” and maybe he’s picking up dinner and it’s crowded (I could totally see them eat together!!!) “picking up food get yours ready sweetheart just 10 more minutes” and she gets so giggly and giddy that he DOES wanna talkkkkk just running late :( and once he’s back at the hotel food ready and everything he texts her “all ready? Wanna hear your voice love” and when she gives him the 👍🏼 he calls her and it’s all sweeeeet like “helloooo baby missed me” just cooing so much at her
stop omg:((((( like he had a little business trip to go on for the week but w/o fail he always calls her from his hotel room eveynight to eat dinner w her:( she'd be so sad when she doesn't get the 8pm text she's been getting since Monday asking if shes ready for him to call bc she hopes he didn't forget:( and if hes too sleepy tonight thats alright she just wants to know hes back at his hotel safely:( so she texts him her little text asking him to call if he can and its not even five minutes later she gets a response "sorry im running late!! foods taking longer than I thought but ill be back up in my room in ten minutes get ready for me okay?" and shes jsut ahhhhh!!!! bc hes alright and she'll get to see his face in only 10 more minutes and its just....like they've never been away from each other like this before so its hard:( but omg as soon as he calls her and hes still in his work shirt but his tie and jacket are off and the top is unbuttoned enough to show his chest and he looks a little tired but soooo smily when hes like "hi baby! did u miss me?" like teasing her clearly but she can't help herself she just really did miss him so she just nods her head like "yeah:( worried you were too tired for me tonight:(" and he just:((((( ofc no baby never to tired to talk to you just a little late tonight thats all:( and they talk about their days and y/n tries to understand all of his work talk and he tries to understand what all of her fancy English and literature courses are teaching her and I can totally see him being like "what are we having tonight love?" like seeing what shes having for dinner like hes asked every night since he left and its just idk its so domestic to me and its making me hurt:(
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twodimecastle · 3 years
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fifty bucks & six months.
spencer reid x gender neutral reader new relationship, secret keeping nonsense, 4.5k words, ao3 a/n; turns out i love writing texting fic but tumblr destroys the formatting rip
zero months.
You smile conspiratorially, extending a pinkie towards Spencer and he gives you a skeptical look.
“You know the odds of being found out immediately are-” he starts, but you cut him off.
“Astronomical, I know. I know. But don’t you think it’ll be fun to see how long we can push it?” you wheedle, not caring that your voice sounds more like begging than is strictly dignified because seeing the way Spencer’s nose crinkles in amusement at your heavy handed persuasion is too adorable to pass up. You scoot closer on the couch, tapping the end of his nose with your pinkie finger, letting him catch your hand between his as you continue “I think we’ve got a good shot at hiding it for a little while. It would be like a game.”
Spencer draws your captive hand to his lips, brushing them across your knuckles and watching fondly as you forge ahead in your campaign to persuade him, enjoying the show and the attention too much to tell you he’s already on board. Your eyes are shining with the prospect of the caper, and you’ve made no move to take your hand back from him, and Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be more than happy to sit with you in this moment forever. “I mean-” you go on, gesturing animatedly with your free hand, “you’re like-a really good liar when you want to be. And everyone else always forgets how good you are at it.”
He snorts at that and the sound makes you light up, eyes tracking the arch of his brows, the warmth in his soft brown eyes, memorising the way he looks like this; utterly unbothered, completely at ease. It might be your favourite version of him, but that race has always been a tight one with no clear winner in sight. You have lots of favourite versions of Spencer. Twisting your hand in his, you tangle your fingers together, savouring the way you feel his thumb glide delicately along your skin and the unhidden joy in his face at the simple show of affection.
Time to play your trump card.
“$50 says we can hide it from the whole group for at least six months. If everyone figures it out before then, you win. But if not everyone has worked it out by then, I win.”
The mischievous shine in your eyes is irresistible, and Spencer smiles, disentangling one of his hands from yours to extend his own pinky finger.
“You’re on.”
The words barely make it out of his mouth before you’re colliding with him, pressing your lips to his.
two months.
“So, how long has this whole thing been going on?” Derek’s question catches Spencer off guard, and, based on the way he can see you freeze in his peripheral vision, takes you by surprise as well. Sliding into the driver's seat of the SUV, Derek continues “I hope you didn’t think you were gonna be able to keep me in the dark for long, pretty boy. You should know better than that.”
Following mechanically after him, Spencer takes the passenger seat, trying to frame his next statement as carefully as possible as he hears your door close and the car start. “We were-going to tell you guys-” he begins uncomfortably, glancing back to you for support, but you look just as on edge as he feels. “We were just gonna-keep it to ourselves for a while-before telling Hotch and everything-” he tries again, the mounting tension levering his shoulders higher and higher with every passing moment, but then Derek just laughs, shaking his head.
“Hey, I’m happy for you, kid. For both of you.” He spares a look at you in the back seat through the rear view mirror, and you can feel the tension in your jaw relax, the furrows in your brow straightening out at the note of approval in Derek’s voice. “I’m glad you two finally figured it out,” he says, fondly, and you laugh.
“I bet Spence we could keep it from you guys at least six months,” you explain, reaching forwards through the centre console to link your pinky with Spencer’s, and the touch of your hand releases the last of the tension he had been harbouring as he covers your hand with the other one of his own. He knows Derek clocks the motion, filing it away in his mind somewhere, but he doesn’t care about the scrutiny so much right now. Not when your hand is so warm and comfortable in his.
Derek reaches for the dial on the radio and flicks through the channel, thinking about something, and as you watch, a slow mischievous smirk spreads across his face a moment later before he glances first at Spencer and then at you.
“I’ll tell you what,” he says to you, and Spencer can feel a familiar grin tugging at his own lips as he watches a plan take shape in his friend’s eyes. “I’m happy to sit on this information for a while for a cut of the winnings from whichever one of you comes out on top.” He snorts good naturedly as he continues “I have my own bet to win with Prentiss, so if you two help me win that one, I’ll cut you in too.”
“A quid pro quo of sorts,” Spencer says slowly, and he feels your fingers tighten around his, as you snort softly, and he knows instinctually you’re grinning the same way you always do when you’re winning a game. “I think we can do that.”
Derek grins, turning the music up as he nods, eyes on the road. “Then you two love birds have got yourselves a deal.”
two months and two weeks.
PG: youre not as slick as you think you are ;)
YN: ???
PG: ;))))))))) you should invest in some concealer for your work bag sweetness or tell the good doctor to pay more attention to whats visible in your work clothes
YN: oh my fucking god wait how do you even know thats how that happened
PG: im all knowing and all seeing im like the omnipotent goddess of the fbi
YN: derek blabbed
PG: he sang like a canary but also im an omnipotent goddess im also totally clued in on the whole bet situation with em so for the low low price of every single juicy detail about how this adorableness went down you can buy my silence :)
YN: im getting derek decaf coffee on all coffee runs from now on >:( traitors dont get caffeine
PG: darling sweet angel i need deets all of them like immediately
YN: >:( fine ok so. after that case down in georgia a few months ago? the weird one? with the creepy mother son thing?
PG: omg yuck pls dont remind me im here for the CUTENESS not the MURDER
YN: sorryyyyyyy anyway so spence was like being super weird about it all on the plane and whatever but he was doing that super annoying thing where he ignores it and says hes fine so everyone leaves him alone
PG: YEAH why does everyone here do that ALL THE TIME its SO annoyingggg
YN: ikr its insufferable and like super not subtle ANYWAY. spence was being weird and whatever and i just. refused to let him sulk on his own or whatever like i could tell there was something bothering him and so after work i insisted that we were gonna get like shitty diner food or whatever and watch a movie and he knows better than to say no to me
PG: smart boy
YN: so we got fries and milkshakes and then went back to his place to watch a movie and he was still like weird and silent and like brooding yknow? but whatever just figured hed talk about it when he was ready so i put on a movie and offered to make popcorn and then he was just staring at me and he looked so SAD and TIRED and i thought id done something wrong like the poor guy looked like he was gonna cry and i was panicking over fucking popcorn and then he says ‘why are you always so nice to me?’
PG: oh my god hes like if a sad victorian orphan was actually a triplicate phd holder
YN: i was SO thrown off i was like spencer. spencer were best friends. ive been forcing you to hang out with me for years now why do you THINK im being nice to you its bc i care about you asshole and then. like after another million years after letting me sweat it out over whether hes about to cry for like fucking years the asshole grabs my hand and says. i shit you not. ‘you know im in love with you, right?’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YN: anyway hes my boyfriend now :’) dont tell anyone tho gotta win the bet
four months.
Lingering by the elevator, you glance around at the uncharacteristically silent office building, waiting for Spencer to leave the bullpen. The sound of his footfalls drawing nearer makes you smile and you mentally applaud yourself for suggesting the two of you remained behind after disembarking from the plane, taking advantage of the manufactured privacy to take the same car home, back to his apartment.
When he sees you waiting for him, he can’t help the soft fond smile that tugs at his face, as he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers into yours with a gentle squeeze, the quiet of the building allowing him to indulge in the show of affection. You return the squeeze, leaning your head on his shoulder with a yawn and as he presses a fond kiss to your temple he’s rewarded by a sleepy hum of approval from you that sends a rush of quiet joy shooting through him.
“At least we won’t be sleeping in hotel beds again tonight,” you say, voice weary, and Spencer nods as he shuffles you into the elevator. The doors slide shut and the elevator starts to move and in the moment of absolute privacy, you steal a kiss, tilting your chin up to catch his lips with yours, revelling in the soft huff of surprise he lets out, even as he smiles against your mouth. Even after months, the simple act of kissing Spencer still feels new and thrilling somehow, like you can’t quite believe it’s something you’re allowed to do.
His nose brushes yours and he breathes “unless something big comes up, we get a sleep in tomorrow too,” and the way you beam at him sends his heart racing in his chest, unable to look away from the fondness shining in your eyes.
As the two of you exit the elevator and make your way through the Bureau car park, you tuck yourself against his side, wedging yourself under his arm with a happy sigh, eager to get yourself horizontal and asleep as fast as possible. Spencer brushes his lips against your temple again as the two of you close in on his car, almost free and clear of the office when a voice behind the two of you brings you up short.
“Reid?”
Spencer is reacting before his mind catches up, turning on his heel towards the sound of Hotch’s voice echoing through the parking lot, conscious of the incriminating way you’re still tucked against his side, even as his brain is rifling frantically through any possible excuses for the current circumstances.
“Hotch-” you step away from Spencer, cheeks flaming, not wanting to chance a look at him. “I-we-thought everyone else had gone home,” you trail off lamely, trying your hardest not to balk under Hotch’s ominously impassive scrutiny. A second passes, then another, and the short silence feels like months, or years even as the three of you stand locked in a stalemate.
“I take it the two of you would prefer to keep this under wraps?” He asks, finally, and it registers with Spencer, somewhat belatedly, that Hotch’s tone isn’t admonishing. It isn’t enough to dissipate the tension coiling in Spencer’s muscles just yet, but he spares a glance at you as he nods, and a moment later, Hotch gives the two of you a curt nod of his own. “I’ll tell you what,” he says, a shade of irony colouring his voice. “If you two fill out the paperwork for in-team relationships for me, I’ll keep it to myself. I understand privacy is hard to come by in our office.”
The words take a while to fully sink in, and you’re conscious that you’re standing there blinking and gaping at your boss like a bemused fish for a good few seconds before you’ve composed yourself enough to say “absolutely, sir. Of course. Thank you.”
Hotch nods again, heading towards his own car, and as he passes the two of you, a brief smile flashes across his face.
“Congratulations, you two. Get some sleep.”
four months and three weeks.
Spencer isn’t sure how late it is, but he knows you’re not asleep yet, the faint glow of your phone screen casting faint distorted shadows across his room as your free hand rests lightly on his chest. In the dark blue twilight of his room, the space feels undefined and dream like somehow, the line between his mind and his surroundings blurry or indistinct somehow, and as you huff out a near silent laugh at something on the screen in your hand, a thought rises to the surface of his thoughts like flotsam on an unwanted tide.
The more clinical part of his mind notes the autonomic response in his body, the way his heart lurches unpleasantly in his chest, heart rate rising with an influx of cortisol through his nervous system, automatically rifling through ways to control the anxiety response. Age old instinct surges forwards, starting to push his spiralling anxiety down out of sight so as not to bother you with it, but then your hand shifts infinitesimally on his chest, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his pyjama shirt, and for once his body is miles ahead of his brilliant mind, your name is leaving his lips before he’s really aware of it happening.
Your gaze flashes up from your phone at the sound of his voice, soft and hesitant, and you let the screen go dark as you set it down. You can feel Spencer’s heart hammering against his ribs under your palm, and your brows knit together in concern as you shift closer to his side, tracing gentle circles over his shirt with your fingertips, the repetitive motion intended to soothe, though you’re not sure if it’s for his benefit or yours.
“Yeah, baby?” You ask softly, working hard to keep the rising worry from your voice. After three years of friendship and almost six months of dating, you know him well enough to sense when his propensity for overthinking and catastrophizing is slipping out of his control. You can feel his chest rise as he inhales sharply, whatever he’s about to say cut off by second guessing, doing nothing to pacify your concern. “Spence? Is everything okay?” You ask again.
“This-bet-hiding our relationship-it’s-” he trails off, throat tight as he rolls onto his side, facing away from you, and smushing his face into the pillow, already wishing he hadn’t said anything. You’re the kindest person he’s ever met, but offering up this kind of raw insecurity feels like pulling teeth. Even if it’s you. Especially if it’s you. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to find out if you care about him enough to stay when his racing mind gets the better of him. The pillow muffles his voice as he says “never mind.”
You feel your own heart rate tic up in response to that, matching the wild beat of Spencer’s that you could feel under your palm only a second ago. “Baby, talk to me. What’s on your mind?”
He shakes his head, face still hidden in the pillow. “It’s stupid.”
He can feel the rush of your breath on his back as you sigh, and your voice is almost achingly patient as you say softly “it’s not stupid if it matters to you.” There’s a long pause, and you press yourself against his back, settling close and letting your hand slide over his side to rest on his chest, the heat of his skin sinking into yours even through his thin shirt. In spite of his height, he feels so small as you wrap yourself around him, drawing closer, trying to reassure him without yet knowing what he needs to be reassured of. “Spence?”
“Are you ashamed of-being with me? Is that why you want to hide it?” The words are almost whispered, the sound almost lost against his pillow and your heart sinks, plummeting faster and further than if you’d dropped it off the side of a skyscraper. You should’ve known he might worry about that, should have realised it might have felt that way. Remorse rises hot and bitter in your throat and you swallow it down, trying to steady your voice.
“Spencer. Sweetheart. No. Never. I could never be ashamed. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your arms wrap more tightly around him and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, the tension you can feel in every inch of his body making you feel more cruel and short-sighted than you already do. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it might feel like that. I could never be ashamed of being with you, Spence. You’re my favourite person.” He takes the kind of shaky, shallow breath that comes with trying not to cry and your heart breaks a little more as one of his hands slowly moves to cover yours where it rests against his chest, just over his heart.
As his hand rests over yours, his thumb strokes lightly along your knuckles, and he knows you know him well enough to notice the way his hand trembles, just a little, because then your hand is shifting against his, turning to clumsily tangle your fingers with his, holding tighter to him as he tries to collect himself, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes squeeze shut. He can hear the contrition in your voice as you say softly “I’ve never really liked having people know everything about what’s going on in my life. And I love our friends but-something like this, that’s so-special? So new? I wanted to be able to keep it to just us for a while.”
“I’m sorry.” His voice comes out a little shaky, scarcely more than a whisper, and it’s more than you can take as you pull back and gently force him to roll over to face you. He’s not crying, but his eyes are glassy and you recognise the fight to keep the tears unshed in the tight set of his jaw and the hard line of his lips. Leaning on your elbow, you lift your free hand to gently smooth out the furrows of his brow, letting your fingers linger along the planes of his face.
“Why are you sorry,” you ask gently. “You don’t need to be sorry, baby. Not for talking to me about things that bother you. We can tell everyone else tomorrow, if you want? We can call off the bet. Derek will live. If he’s got a problem with it I’ll turn all his shirts into crop tops.”
He can tell the joke is a last bid attempt to make him smile, to ease his fear, and it works. In spite of the anxious weight in his chest that feels like it’s pressing him into the mattress, Spencer laughs weakly, meeting your eyes, and he watches as a relieved smile breaks across your face, releasing your lower lip from where you’d trapped it worriedly between your teeth. The unmitigated affection that floods into your eyes renders him momentarily breathless as he takes in the moment. You’re still here, still trying to take care of him. Just as kind and steadfast as ever.
“No,” he says eventually, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down on top of him like a living weighted blanket, letting your warmth chase the bulk of the tension from his body and luxuriating in the way you curl into him, one hand sliding into his hair. “We shouldn’t call off the bet. We still have to take Emily’s money, remember?”
Your sleepy laugh is the last thing he hears before his eyes close and the feel of your body wound around his lulls him to sleep.
five months.
SR: Can I talk to you about something?
DM: you dying or something? that’s a really fuckin ominous text to recieve out of the blue
SR: I’m not dying, why would that be what you assumed? I just have a question.
DM: just a figure of speech but what’s up?
SR: It’s about your bet with Emily. What’re the terms for it?
DM: wym?
SR: What exactly did you two make the bet about? What needs to happen in order for you to win the bet?
DM: does this count as collusion?
SR: Technically yes, but calling it collusion implies a certain degree of illegality.
DM: whatever anyway the terms i made with em were that you’d make some kind of move before your birthday but she reckoned you were gonna need some kind of near death experience to do anything about your crush why?
SR: I’m just making sure I have all the information.
DM: what’s going on pretty boy? you planning something?
SR: Maybe.
DM: not a helpful answer reid is everything good?
SR: Everything’s fine. We’re just figuring some stuff out. Nothing to worry about.
DM: is there something you’re not telling me?
SR: Don’t worry about it.
five months, three weeks and six days.
In the chaos that was the scramble from the briefing room to the jet, you haven’t yet had the chance to speak to Spencer about the outcome of his most recent thesis defence panel. By the time you’ve got a moment to breathe, the jet is underway, coasting across the country towards Montana, the whole team settled in for the six hour flight. You corner him in the tiny kitchen area of the jet as he’s making a mug of mediocre coffee, fingers tapping out an absent minded rhythm on the countertop as the coffee machine whirs, clearly not paying attention to anything outside of his head.
“Hey, boy genius.” He jumps, whirling around, eyes wide with surprise, and you smile fondly. “So?” You demand, and Spencer raises an eyebrow in confusion. You snort, rolling your eyes as you elaborate. “Your defence panel. Did it go okay?”
You’re shifting your weight and fidgeting restlessly with the belt loops on your pants and as he studies you for a moment, it occurs to Spencer that you’re nervous for him over this outcome. The thought brings an almost giddy smile to his face.
“You know this isn’t my first thesis defence panel, right?” He says mildly, deliberately burying the lede, enjoying the way you scowl in irritation too much to answer your question right away, too enamoured with this display of concern on his behalf.
“Don’t be difficult, Doctor Reid. It’s still a big deal.” He just shrugs noncommittally, and you huff, swatting his arm lightly. “So did it go well?” You ask again, eyes narrowing as you try to dissect his microexpressions, trying to discern the answer he seems determined to keep from you for yourself. A few seconds later, he relents.
“I can now add degree number six to my wall.” He confirms. Getting degrees doesn’t hold the same rush of pride for him now, the accomplishment feeling somewhat less exceptional as he acquires more of them, but the way your face lights up with pride for him reminds him how special the things he’s capable of can be. You’ve always made him feel like more than the sum of his parts somehow, like something infinitely more precious than he always assumed he is.
“I fucking knew it. That’s amazing, Spence,” you say, chest warm and full with pride and love, and his almost shy smile in return is enough to make a decision for you in a split second. Your hand dips into your back pocket, drawing something out, and you carefully hide it from view in your palm as Spencer tracks the motion curiously with his eyes.
Your eyes are shining with affection and something that looks like mischief and the way you’re smiling at him is more than enough to divert his attention as you step closer, just barely noticing as you slip something into his hand. You’re dangerously, distractingly close now, and he’s conscious, if somewhat distantly, that neither of you is concealed from the rest of the team, scant meters away in the seating area of the jet. But you’re smiling and close enough for him to feel your breath on his face and suddenly your lips are on his, and even after nearly seven months of being able to touch you like this, it’s enough to make him forget everything else as he melts into the contact, savouring the warmth of your skin and the faint smell of your shampoo.
You pull back a second later, the kiss over almost as soon as it started, but it’s enough to attract attention, and you can hear a belated ‘oh SHIT’ from Emily in the main cabin of the jet. In your peripheral vision, you can see money changing hands, your friends scrambling to react, but you don’t look at them, choosing to enjoy the bemused, affectionate look on Spencer’s face as his brain catches up to the events unfolding around the two of you.
“I was tired of keeping it a secret,” you say fondly, loud enough only for him to hear. “You win.”
Blinking in confusion, he finally tears his gaze away from yours, fingers uncurling to reveal the fifty dollar bill you had pressed into his palm right before you kissed him. The penny drops and he snorts with laughter, shaking his head in half hearted indignation as his other arm loops around you, pulling you in, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, hiding your face from the rest of the team as he kisses your temple, revelling in the way you wind yourself around him in response.
“I was gonna do this in like two days. I wanted you to win,” he murmurs against your hairline, and he can feel your faint laughter.
“Too bad, baby. I’m used to getting my way,” you say, pulling back to steal another quick kiss before peeling yourself out of his arms with a wink, turning to face the onslaught of ‘care to fucking explain that’ and ‘I fucking told you so’ from the rest of your friends, tugging him with you by your joined hands.
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hoes4hoseok · 2 years
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enhypen as reputation
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hi so my prom is tonight and I can’t go because I’m still testing positive for covid so I’m sad BUT I finally finished another one of these! hope you like it :)
jay as ...ready for it
“every love I’ve known in comparison is a failure, I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now, never be the same now”
…ready for it is such an interesting love song 😭 I definitely think it fits him though so hear me out
like obviously this is an album opener so it’s a triumphant start to that but also it’s about the beginning stages of a relationship when it’s clearly right
& boy I think falling in love w jay would feel like this bc I’d probably just think “oh shit. this is happening.”
jungwon as end game
“I don’t wanna be just another ex-love you don’t wanna see, I don’t wanna miss you like the other girls do”
yeah I wanna be jungwon’s end game what can I say 😝 (& so do you…don’t lie 🤨)
this idea of just being ‘one of the exes’ of someone you think is right for you is scary & I do think it’s easy to fumble opportunities like this all the time
especially w someone like jungwon lmfao bc I feel like he’d be completely fine being just friends if he wasn’t that into you so you’d wanna “try” way harder to not screw things up
this song is a healthy way of communicating that feeling ig 😵‍💫
ni-ki as I did something bad
“they say I did something bad, then why’s it feel so good?”
ni-ki was hard to place because a good chunk of the songs in rep fit him imo
this one is definitely more ✨vibey✨ than thematically chosen LOL ni-ki has not done something bad…unless 😝✌️
like I can imagine him dancing to this song NI-KI PLZ DANCE TO THIS SONG IT FITS YOU SO WELL
also I was going between this song, look what you made me do, & this is why we can’t have nice things for him so lmk what your thoughts are!
heeseung as so it goes...
“& all the pieces fall right into place, getting caught up in a moment, lipstick on your face”
SO lemme start by saying this song is so underappreciated like it’s so good 😩
also it reminds me of when the two main leads in a rivals to lovers tv show finally kiss for the first time in the middle of the night after some unforeseen circumstances 😚 MMMM thats the stuff I live for
I got caught up in that scene for a second BUT yeah I think heeseung’s might have some straight-from-the-movies kisses
okay that’s all I got for an explanation whoops I am still so bad at this
sunghoon as getaway car
“should’ve known I’d be the first to leave, think about the place where you first met me, in a getaway car”
I actually think sunghoon would be the one using YOU as the getaway car driver not vice-versa :/ sorry guys, but no one should have the capability to use park sunghoon like that
…BUT I CAN SEE IT HAPPENING EITHER WAY TBH
I feel like sunghoon would start a relationship even if his heart wasn’t completely in it if it meant he could leave someone who wasn’t treating him right
&& if someone had the AUDACITY to do it to him🙄…I could see him falling love really fast. idk how someone could NOT reciprocate but. I guess anything is possible
sorry if this was hard to understand I’m having a sunghoon moment rn </3
jake as king of my heart
“& all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for, king of my heart, body & soul”
oh I can go ON & ON ABOUT THIS ONE it was so easy
jake probably can afford range rovers and jaguars BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER because I could quote so many lyrics that I could vividly imagine experiencing with him 💘
like this whole change of mentality from saying “I’m better off being alone” to “is this the end of all the endings?” IS SOMETHING I THINK JAKE COULD BRING TO THE TABLE (& it is so romantic too omfg I love this song)
also imagine drinking on the roof w him while you have a massive crush on him. I CAN’T IT IS JUST SO CUTE
sunoo as call it what you want
“all the drama queens taking swings, all the jokers dressing up as kings, they fade to nothing when I look at him”
the whole idea of not worrying about everything collapsing around you because you have your person is just…so so so romantic
I actually think a relationship with him would benefit from being private??
or if it isn’t better it’s just as healthy bc sunoo strikes me as being really good at communication and I don’t think he really needs anyone’s approval in this type of thing <3
side note sunoo would be a great boyfriend imo & like he def knows what to say when
oh & I know *I* would gladly wear his initial around my neck :)
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txt version ☆ red version ☆ masterlist 
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cringesideblog · 4 years
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here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.
heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”
Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”
TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”
Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”
Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”
Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”
Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”
Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”
Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”
Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”
I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”
Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”
The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”
Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”
Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”
Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”
Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”
Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”
Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”
The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”
Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”
Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”
Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”
Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”
Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”
Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”
This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”
Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”
august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”
I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”
Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”
Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”
Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”
Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”
Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”
Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”
Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”
Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”
I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”
In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3
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Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4
I swear folks once I get this and the last part up I’m gonna condense it all
But yeah couldn’t resist some <3
Zhang and Wu Chat
Wu Xie: Um. I’m all done with the shower if you want a turn.
Zhang Qiling: I’m alright without one.
Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?
Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.
Wu Xie: you’ve barely said anything since the necklace thingy
Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.
Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today
and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings
so just checking in you know
Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than I’ve been in a long time.
Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall
Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.
Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. It’s alright now—hey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) It’s not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isn’t so bad, at least you don’t have any uncles you know of
today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title
I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck it’s a little uhoh moment lol
I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.
Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.
Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this it’s only like 3pm
damn time flies when it’s flashing before your eyes lol
Are you on the roof? You’re def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or I’m coming up.
Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, it’s cold and raining.
Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow
something from long ago, even though you wouldn’t remember it.
It’s lucky that it liked me, huh:)
Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.
Babysitters Club Chat
Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.
Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.
Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART
LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK
GET ON MY LEVEL
WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK
BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE
SO INTERESTING HMMM
Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xie’s bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.
Wang Pangzi: UH HUH
A FAMILY MEMBER
THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS
TOLKIEN COULD NEVER
Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.
Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST
“A TECHNICALITY” WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD
ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW
YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH
Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat
Hei Yangjing: you’re welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)
Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT
Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.
Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasn’t threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped
or at least I was there for moral support maybe?
Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishan’s neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.
Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is “#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessed”
Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT
Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I should’ve known you wouldn’t be aware
It’s called performance, you wouldn’t understand
it’s a ‘Gram thing
Also it means I’m a great person
Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you
Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called “blocking ppl” that gets them out of my phone.
Hei Yangjing: nah
Can’t trust that Wu Xie, bae can’t tell a coffin from an urn amirite
it’s not a thing, blocking
Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. I’ll show you later, Zhang Qiling.
Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT
Bonnie and Clyde Chat
Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)
Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.
Hei Yangjing: You’d have to do something to tire me out ;););)
Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, I’m just asking.
Hei Yangjing: uh that’s a big nope
First off all Idk when I’ll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two
Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird
(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)
Also I’m a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back he’d be better at it.
Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.
Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I don’t really wanna tap that.
Xie Yuchen: I see.
Hei Yangjing: do you tho
Main Chat
Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D
Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES
FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING
Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)
Wang Pangzi: …YOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.
WU XIE
WU XIE WHY
Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.
Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US
LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT
UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING
WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU
WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT
Wu Xie: look, let’s focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! It’s really quite nice-looking when it isn’t moving of its own volition.
Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM
ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS
Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. I’ll come to the kitchen.
Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!
Wang Pangzi: I SEE
WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS “FUCK IT WHY NOT” SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT
LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP
IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT
Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design… I’d love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.
Kinda sad we couldn’t borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/
ah well it’s for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3
Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.
Wu Xie: ???????
Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3
Wu Xie: I—
Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?
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youranxiousnerd · 3 years
Text
The Transformation Thoughts
bc hsmtmts said gay rights
spoilers below
yesss seb doing the recap
wait did seb just say he was crying?!?! give him a hug 
cow baby!!!
wow miss jenn and seb having a civil conversation
Natalie is back!!
ej and ricky with the mask
kourtney’s outfit!!!
ashlyn’s outfit...
ahh so the awards and the show are separate, good, that’s how it works
RICKY’S SHIRT!?!?!?! 
i love it
ricky is lgbt do not try to convince me otherwise
ASHLYN IS SINGING IT IS BEAUTIFUL
like pop off
ricky and the mask
that mask is the true villain in season 2
“Belle, I-” flops
Ashlyn is carrying the scene, she is such a good Belle
how is ricky allowed on stage oh my god
the cap
that damn mask
“It’s okay, it was just my face”
Miss Jenn is hanging on by a thread
finally some ashlyn and ricky content
“Which they will” buddy have you faced the music? Have you seen Ricky?
“I think I might have been playing Troy at one point”
Miss Jenn needs help from someone who isn’t a teenager
“Mother is freaking out” High school theater at it’s finest
“There is math involved”
“OH” 
sassy seb
i can’t with east high’s tech crew, what are you doing?!?!
and why are the actors figuring out the tech stuff?!? i’m sure kourt, big red, ashlyn (she knows all), and seb (he lives on a farm) know what to do. 
the crew cannot be that bad
btw here are my thoughts on this scene
guys it is ashlyn’s house not yours
portwell shoulder bump
ASHLYN I LOVE YOU
OH SO NOW YOU HAVE DRILLS
WHERE WERE THEY WHEN THE TECHIES STARTED USING GLUE ON PLYWOOD!?!?!?!
I WANT ANSWERS
i. cannot. with. this. show.
lily wtf
“is this too weird” yes
like why?
lily like actually shut up
big red’s “wtf”
let her be evil damnit
“i’m just not well liked here” i wonder why
that was really weird, anyways
“he gets weird around tools”
me too
no give big red the drill he knows how to use it
someone write a fic about the girls and seb’s chaotic target run
why don’t you have a blackout and dramatic music and lights for the transformation, i know it isn’t award level but if done right it can be pretty dope
“I don’t know if my parents will be okay with me being at a co-ed sleepover”
“Chip, this is your mother speaking, go call your mother”
HE DID THE FINGER GUNS
GAY TABLE SIT AND FINGER GUNS THEY DID THEIR RESEARCH
ashlyn’s bucket
CARLOS GAY TABLE SIT
OH MY GOD
they’re so gay soulmates
let big red have his skateboards
“i need to talk to seb at some point but it can wait” honey no it can’t wait seb is on the verge of a breakdown
wait they havent talked in a week
Im a hypocrite ive been dancing around someone for three years
“You’re still at school”
“I’m worried about my children” “She means us”
such a high school theater thing (like i got married during high school theater, we had a family tree)
“ah, Sebby”
“Now I’m pretty sad” give him a hug
the girls ship seblos
“But, I guess he has to be, out of default, right... there’s not a lot of choices for a boy like Carlos, here, at East.”
alright here come the tears 
why...why couldn’t he say “gay” or “queer” or “lgbt”?!?!
“Not so good at saying the feelings part out loud”
shiz that hit close to home. 
Seb is just making me cry today, isn’t he?
wait so we’re just going to change the subject? coming from a queer person, opening up about your problems about your sexuality is hard. like, there are things that happened years ago im just telling people. 
“You’re my sister, he’s my cousin”
it seems everyone except nina knows about the chocolates. imagine gossip time when gina told people write a fic
Nini just stop talking. It wasn’t a big deal, simple mistake. Not everything has to be big and dramatic
and wasn’t she just asking about Gina and Ej? 
Nini for the love of god it is not something to read into.
“The farmer type”
Ash and Red exchanging gossip
wait... why are they texting about this?
“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?” It’s a hard conversation to have. “hey are we together just because i’m your only option?” 
“Okay, pretty boy” HE CALLED HIM PRETTY BOY
RICKY!!!!!!!!!!
!!!
carlos and gina chaotic siblings
give ej a hug 
“Sweet boy”
im so glad the guys are talking about their feelings.
Why a sleepover? It’s more of a hangout.
“Verging on failure”
jennzara therapy
slowwww burn
you go from hand holding to fist bump
disney please release an acoustic version of “let you go”
so it’s just carlos and ricky chillin’ at big red’s house?
do not play let you go for nini
do. not.
“You guys are a hallmark movie”
for once ricky is being smart
“the look on your face when you were talking about Seb tonight” smiles
he is so whipped
“I think you and Seb have something worth fighting for...bro”
that was so sweet and then there is bro
i love this show
“Sorry, I’m adjusting to being called bro” 
him and seb being awkward about feelings... that is a high school relationship
i love ricky in this scene
“Yeah, let’s just write”
ASHLYN CALLED BIG RED BABE AWWWWW
nina shut the actual hell up
“It’s in the costume shop, somewhere” mood
“Thank you, 15″ THEY SAID THE THING
GAHHHH
I LOVE IT
howie and kourtney oh my god what is happening
 “and begging”
“hi” he’s so nervous oh my lord.
he is so awkward around seb 
it’s like a switch
“Do you want to get risotto with me sometime” OH MY GOD THATS ADORABLE
GINA BABY HE LIKES YOU 
GINA HONEY!!!
AWWW THAT WAS ADORABLE
PORTWELL YESSSS
gina’s little run
“Am I in trouble?” 
they’re so nervous 
oh my god its time
“You keep it all bottled up” GUYS I CANT ARGGGG
can ricky just like, go behind a curtain?
“lookin’ for our kind of love” carlos basically just said “i love you”
seb is so whipped like look at him?
they’re so in love
seb’s little eye role at “in a heartbeat, i choose you”
the hands omfg
oh my god they’re going to dance
SHIZ THE HOMECOMING SUITS
I WAS RIGHT
OH MY GOD
SHIT GUYS IM DYING
gah the hands i cant
carlos is leading i love it
the tie
a tie just killed me
im combusting
You’re honor, they’re in love
i really thought carlos was going in for a kiss he is probably getting one later
i like how the dance isn’t big, it’s small and a little awkward bc right then it’s just them.
THEYRE SO IN LOVE HOLY SHIT
damnit big red
big red is legally required to interrupt almost kiss moments especially if it’s an lgbt kiss bc we cant have two in one season
in a heartbeat is so cute. Frankie showed UP this season with the vocals. there is no way that was all acting bc they looked so in love.
I...I love it
the lyrics are perfect
In a Heartbeat and Let You Go are probably the best OG songs of the season
“Siri, add In a Heartbeat to my gay sob playlist”
these boys are just serenading each other left and right 
“Yeah” 
so it’s just “yeah”!?!? That’s it!?!?! Seb could have least kissed him on the cheek or did they use all their kisses?
I love the song and love the scene, but there is so much more to discuss. Are we going to brush over the fact that Seb literally had an allergic reaction and didn’t get help because he didn’t want to disappoint Carlos!?!? Are we going to brush over “no, seb” and seb feeling like he has to get carlos big things!?! One “yeah” doesn’t erase all that. I’m hoping we get closure, proper closure, not a joke. 
In conclusion, only one thing was settled (Carlos loves Seb for Seb, not because he is the only out guy in school).
“Seb and Carlos suffer their first fight” effing liars
BTW it looks like they filmed the dance scene with the homecoming suits and normal outfits so disney release the footage
Ricky is the biggest Seblos shipper
“Bro”
you morons. are you using rigging without an adult there?!?!
im pretty sure that isn’t allowed. only trained people were allowed to use the rigging. it should be Natalie since she did it in HSM
you should have gotten mats are something or stand in a circle
gahhh
RICKY
OH MY FRICKING GOD
NO ONE RAN THEY JUST WATCHED WTF
WTF WAS THAT ENDING
UMMMMM NO
i legit have no words oh my god 
they just killed the lead
you guys saw the rope you should have ran 
you should have gotten mats or blankets or something just in case
rigging is difficult, set rigging and people rigging
EAST HIGH WTF
Looks like the sleepover is going to be in the ER
My gay heart is full but my theater heart is screaming. The episode went by really fast. I liked it, like a lot.
To answer the question, no, I am not okay @organic-guacamole and we will have a theater kid sleepover
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faithinthefuture28 · 5 years
Text
Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship
**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”
I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:
2013
L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 
H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily
H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 
L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).
L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes
L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex
2014
L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 
L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones
L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs
L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)
H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)
H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 
2015
H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 
L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)
H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 
L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********
H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 
H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 
L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 
 2016-2017
H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 
H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****
H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad
H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 
L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).
H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)
L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it
L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u
2018-2019
L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 
L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 
L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 
L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now
L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of
L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********
H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******
H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it
H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******
H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 
H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)
H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 
H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her
H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)
H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”. 
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awigglycultist · 3 years
Text
Alright like last time I hit post limit and couldn't live blog I started writing my thoughts down on docs in real time whilst watching so I could post later, so here:
HES NEARLY 41!?
Cereal!
Hes such a brat
BECKY BARNES
Shelia is a Karen
“Dont you dare gaslight me” his teeth are FINE stop overreacting
Frank the moneys not worth it divorce that jerk
Peter Pan!?!?
I wanna say “yes frank! Stand up! Good for you!” but this isnt gonna end well is it?
Oh yup there he goes. A trap door in the ground.
“Goodbye daaddyy”
Ofc theres others, I wonder how many men exactly has she married and done this to?
Oh no oh no oh no
MIAH????????????
BERRY SWIFT?
Im just omg. BERRY. AHH.
Honey festival mention!
Looking for a new daddy already…
"onliNE?"
Wait is the feast or famine playing in the background?
Frank giving the food to Barry :)
DONT SAY YOURE GONNA DIE I DONT NEED ANGST FOR YOU PLEASE
HELEN?
“No matter what Im always gonna be youre……..daddy”
Wait so if he’s been down there for 2 weeks with toyzone closed whats Lex doing
Sherman dont go to your mom about it just let him out!
BARRY BARRY NO BARRY NO NO NO BARRY
TED
WAIT NO TED OH NO NO LEAVE TED ALONE
“You are a married women” “Hey works for me”
“Dont sass your mother or ill kick your ass old man!”
NO NOO WHY DOES TED ALWAYS HAVE TO GET SHOT WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DIE
OH GOD THAT MEANS PETER COMES BACK FROM CAMP AND TEDS DEAD STOPPPPP
Including homeless man Ted has died 7 times i think jeez
The gift?!?
Barry :(
Rip Marco
I hate her but she does look hot with a gun gotta say
BLACK BOOK
STARRY CHILDREN
Okay so Hatchetmen hate the witches and the starry children hate the hatchetmen right?
Yup stealing their lives
1920….. 1920
LIB!
Goat! Tentacles!
And I truly feel all lords in black in the chile's tonight
Omg sherman drew ontop of the black book
Omg he memorised the words and drew over it on purpose-
Bye bye milf
Ope hes 7
Poor frank that'd be toutre
Its not really forever tho technically bc frank will die eventually it'll just be for the rest of frank's life...
-killer track-
LOOK AT THEM
HELLO
Dangit Thrash is a jerk
Oh hes threatening to kill now
“YOU THINK I'M AFRAID TO DIE?” Clearly a gen z
“Lets go to Dennys >:(“
Thats Rose!?!?!!!!!
Yes it is Kale!
Oh god hes gonna show her the killer track isnt- yup
I don’t like you so much Kale
STATION WAGON? THAT MEANS DUKE
THERE HE IS MY BOY
“Well i dont know ive never done drugs duke!” “...I know.."
Just missed a little chunk bc of my dad but Duke my beloved and poor Rose
“Is it unbelievable? Yes. but this Hatchetfield”
Specialist… Holloway here we come
Miss Retros!
“Hiya Duke!” “Heya Darlin!” hngg
“Great. My life is in the hands of Barbie”
“Make me.” “...alright.”
A glass with a spiderweb inside
Thrash said he sold his soul to satan to get famous hfjhdkfj
Omg the black book! its so cool!
TINKY TINKY TINKY TIME TRAVEL HNG AHHHHHH EVERYONE SHUT UP also “The Tinker” ooh
Also so are there a few verison of the black book?
Ooh holloway is in Rose’s body
Oh theres taco bell
Holy crap. This song. Wtf.
Okay great rose never heard it now….but holloway did right?...
Oh god yeah she took the curse
Dukes face :( hes so sad and concerned
“Your phone” yeah her very super recent new phone…
“If its a ghost. I'll trap it in this jar.”
“If something happens to me i want you to read this” i really wanna know what it says but i DO NOT want ANYTHING to happen to her
Duke has watch right that down RIGHT THAT DOWN
Hey wait a second how come Kale has heard it hasn't died I mean at least i assume they've heard it before, did they make it?
HOLLOWAY :((
OH GOD NO ITS COMING FROM DUKE AND ROSE OH NOO NO
“dont worry im not going anywhere :)” oh god
“Holloway? What are ya doing darlin?” :((
“I understand” …..ominous
Dead. shes dead great. Ofc.
Duke :’(((
HNGGG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH STOPP DUKE ROSE WHY THIS IS MAKING CRY STOP BEING SO SWEET
‘You were in love with her werent you” “who wasnt?”
DUKE HAS A CAT
The envelope oh boy
“Welp. guess im dead!”
Wait about 2 hrs??
DON'T CALL AN AMBULANCE OR SEND ME TO THE MORGUE OH GODDD
“I was in love with her” “ya you and everybody” they really get the fans huh
Shes alive!
“Duke. what did my note say!?”
Ooohh the whole town knows about her dying that why she couldn't do to the morgue
Rip duke hes so confused
“It just HAD to be the jukebox”
Yes yes lore dump here we go! Learning more about Holloway!
Wait what.
HEY HEY WAIT KNOW GOOD JOB OF PROVING YOUR MAGIC IG BUT I WANNA KNOW THIS STUFF
This isnt first time shes told him?
Oh shes not making him forgot?
Oh god poor holloway
Omg the honey festival-
Oh are we actually seeing them going to honey festival
The mayor!!
Omg i cant wait to see how the stop the song. Like i KNOW itll be stopped we already saw the festival but like i CAANT WAIT
Oh trust me mayor… this will be a night to remeber for everyone…
HAHA HIS MIC WASN'T OFF
HAILEY
HAILEY MADE ZOEYS VOICE WORSE ON PURPOSE?
TED!!!
“At the point ill never get married. Be daddy.”
DEB AND ALICE AHH AND ALICE WAS IN NEW YORK OOH
Jkdfnjdfnj rip duke
God i love seeing everything connected and all these people together
Needy Beasts!
Oh no Kale
And Kale killed the audio guy
Oh poor Kale
OH NO ITS PLAYING
Ooh Holloways playing over it
Oh i love this
DUKE AND HOLLOWAY TOGETHER :))))
OH THEY FORGOT IT OOHHHHH AND THATS WHY THERE WAS ABSOTULEY NOTHING WITH KILLER TRACK IN HONEY QUEEN
DUKE
“The lanky goon”
Oh wow i understand why duke punched kale but im still surprised he’d every punch anyone
Oh oh no Kale oh no
OH GOD KALE
Aww Duke going on about him being the hero so proud of himself not knowing hehe
Oh a new persona? I wanna know all about her personas
Nooo dont say everyones gonna forgot about miss holloway noo dont :((
Shes gone :(
AND HES FORGOTTEN :(
HOLLOWAY or whatevr her new persona is
I literally missed the entrie convo between them bc of my dad
This songs a bop tho
THE BECKY BARNES BIT WITH THE IRISH ACCENT TOO AHAHFEFNSKLDJF
Paul is dead records?? Director Barry Swift??
Okay go the replay: I love Duke and… Holiday so much.
Alright so we're assuming that the girl that got hurt in shop class is Lex right? There's been the theory that Yellow Jacket is about Lex and I sure hope so so we can see what happened to her after Frank just disappeared for two weeks and what may have happened in shop class
She's a counsellor! The only school counsellor I'd trust!
Hey. Hey. Wait. Ofc this isn't Holloways first time changing persona. I wonder if Duke has met personas of her before, he probably has, I wonder how many times? Oh God this episode made be so emotional
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babysizedfics · 4 years
Note
Poor roman :( but that being said I am heka interested in 5
remus humiliates roman in front of jamal (but jamal is a sweetheart)
vote from this concept voting post!
TWs: swearing, emotional humiliation, arguing, remus is generally pretty mean in this - not "unsympathetic" but his behaviour is not ok, brief alcohol mention but it isnt a main feature
first some background info on remus and ro:
roman and remus' friend groups actually run parallel to each other by pure councidence in that theyre the same age and are both in the local queer scene
usually they only run into each other on nights out and avoid each other like the plague... until one of romans friends and one of remus' friends become a very serious couple and the friendship groups merge
remus tends to hang it over romans head whenever they argue or remus just feels like teasing him that he could so so easily spill romans secret littlespace to all his friends
and while roman claims to not care he also really doesnt want that to happen, especially the specific things remus threatens to reveal (namely him calling his cgs mommy and daddy, and his fear of the dark - which remus knows are romans biggest embarrassments)
and remus never USUALLY actually follows through on his threats, he loves to freak roman out but he doesnt mean to be intentionslly cruel.
but one night theyve had an argument recently and remus is out to hurt roman and finally follows through on his threat to reveal romans secrets. in front of jamal
((the actual incident below the cut))
all the friends are walking back from a night out, and remus hangs back from the group to talk to jamal. roman is just glaring at remus and not saying anything and holding jamals hand tightly. remus hasnt embarrassed him too bad so far, just asking jamal questions and referring to roman as his "baby brother" which is so annoying, but the thing is roman can tell hes building up to something
then suddenly remus smirks when he sees a completely pitch black side street thats theyre about to pass by, and he calls out to everyone "hey guys, there's a 24/7 mcdonalds through here and its a shortcut to the bus stop" and everyones like WOO mcdonalds and redirects to go down the side street
and romans heart pounds watching the friends all filter down the street without a second thought, theres no streetlights down there, theres light on the other side quite far away, but before that its SO DARK. and he freezes in place and jamal is tugged back by it and looks back at him. "babe, come on"
romans starting to feel shaky and he literally cant move his feet. his eyes flick between the street and remus' sadistic cocky smirk.
"whats wrong baby bro? you stuck or something?" remus leers with that stupid stupid smirk
and roman HATES him so so much
"ro, what's the matter?" jamal asks
"i- um," roman stutters, trying to keep his voice from shaking too much at the sight of his friends just having DISAPPEARED into the darkness - how are they okay with that?? "i- im not hungry"
"okay well i am, and remus said it was a shortcut anyway so-"
"i-i -- no i can't"
seraphina, romans best friend, looks back and notices whats happening and quickly jogs over (knowing roman is scared of the dark) "hey roma, it's okay we dont have to go down there" she soothes
jamal is supportive but he doesnt get it. he thinks roman is scared of criminals or smth. "i promise theres no one bad down there, hun. and i'll be right next to you the whole time, i'll protect you" and he smiles and tugs romans hand to pull him towards the side street
romans eyes quickly tear up and he panics and rambles "nononono dont please please i cant i cant" in a broken voice and plants his feet firmly on the ground, paralysed with fear
remus starts cackling "ohhhhh thats right~" as if he just remembered. "my baby brother's terrified of the dark, isn't he?"
"f*ck off, re" sera barks, standing between the twins, protective of roman
"wait, are you?" jamal asks sounding surprised. roman doesnt let himself look at him, too busy watching remus warily and knowing thats not all he has planned to embarrass roman
remus goes on, shouting out to jamal over sera's head "he's petrified!" he confirms sounding delighted. "yknow that massive blackout last summer? he cried like a baby. literally sobbing for his daddy patton to make it go away"
theres a brief silence because no, sera and jamal didnt expect remus to refer to patton as romans daddy - they both know roman calls him dad but this is a surprise.
and that one second of silence drags on for ages for roman, all he can hear is his heart pounding in his ears and remus' obnoxious laughter
he is shaking, frozen in shock rather than fear now. for all of remus' teasing threats at home, he didnt expect remus to actually do it. hes devastated and humiliated that remus told to his best friend and especially his BOYFRIEND of all ppl
and honestly he's not even thinking about the pitch black side street right now because the streetlights on the main road are blurred by tears welling in his eyes anyway
"why dont you just leave him alone!" sera hisses furiously after her mild shock
then jamal bounces back rlly stern to remus "yeah i already know about that! roman told me and it was HIS choice to tell me"
roman stares at him in disbelief but jamal is too busy staring daggers at remus to notice
remus looks suddenly offended and frowns. hes clearly hurt that the others dont think its funny "jeez youre both such bores. im just having some fun"
"youre demented if you think thats fun" seraphina growls and shoves remus away towards the sidestreet. remus rolls his eyes and runs ahead to join the others who are all oblivious to that coversation, howling with drunken laughter in the pitch black and jumping out and scaring each other
"f*cking prick" jamal calls after remus, seething
sera quickly throws a concerned look to roman "you okay?"
roman just swallows thickly and looks between seraphina and where he saw remus join the others in the pitch black. his stomach churns at the idea of remus telling more people. "i-is he gonna--"
"im on it" sera nods and starts turning around "i wont let him tell anyone else, roma, promise" then she runs ahead to keep an eye on remus and to give him and jamal some privacy
after a moment jamal turns back to roman looking so worried and holds his hands and asks very gently "babe, can you tell me how youre feeling?"
and roman is teary but he whispers "i - you stuck up for me"
jamal looks suddenly sad and cups romans cheek "of course i did"
"but you said i told you about it. i- i didnt tell you that i-" roman gulps after his voice wobbles "i didnt tell you about it"
and jamal smiles sadly and goes "i know babe... im sorry, i just didnt wanna give him any more power. it seemed like he's held that over you for a while"
suddenly the tears in romans eyes overspill and he doesnt really know why but he can't stop them
jama gasps a little "oh roman, its ok" and just pulls him into a tight hug
roman clings and sniffles, glad that he can hide his tears from his boyfriend even if it is in his neck.
and jamal just strokes his back and whispers "its ok baby, its ok" **
they talk about it quietly as they take the longer, well-lit route instead. roman admits he would never have told jamal abt his fear on his own - and the reason he's been avoiding staying overnight at jamals apartment is bc the one time he did he got so scared of the dark that he couldnt sleep and was just anxious all night but wouldnt wake jamal to tell him
after jamal finds out hes like baby why didnt u tell me its okay and comforts him about it not being embarrassing or childish. then:
"so you do actually want to stay at mine, its just because its so dark that you didnt?"
roman nods shyly "yeah... im sorry i know its a dumb fear i just-"
"its not dumb ro. i meant to say if it works for you, we could leave the hall light on and the door open. its not like i live with anyone who can walk in."
roman blinks "wait you - really? it wont make it hard for you to sleep?"
jamal smiles softly "no hun, honestly i could sleep anywhere. i fell asleep in the middle of the day in the staffroom just last month"
roman laughs, so so so relieved
"so... maybe next time you come over for dinner you could stay the night, yeah?" jamal says with a smile and a blush. he wraps his arm around romans waist and pulls him in, hip to hip
roman bites his lip and blushes. after a moment he suggests shyly "im free tonight..."
and jamal smiles so big, stops walking and puts his arm up to romans chest to stop him too then angles romans jaw down to kiss him
in the near future jamal promises to buy a plain nightlight and always leaves it on for roman when he stays overnight from then on
**side note: roman could never stand anyone calling him baby before because he felt infantilised at school becaus of his undiagnosed adhd. so he sees it as a derogatory name more than anything. but when jamal says it roman feels so warm and respected because he knows jamal would never mean it in that way. so jamal has "baby" rights basically
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neo-shitty · 3 years
Note
toffee!
hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)
YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults
ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)
hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)
> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy
back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious
no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.
yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)
YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.
hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!
hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?
wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?
no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying
<3 w.a. 🐺
sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;
yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.
i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.
abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.
anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://
HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*
i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.
i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.
it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.
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sastrugie · 4 years
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john entwistle biography review
ok so first: I didnt really like the biography because I thought it would focus on totally different aspects. John was a musical virtuoso and that hardly ever gets mentioned in the book. But we get exact axccounts on how much money he spent on what day and in which pub he bought which champagne. like wow thanks. The other personal stuff is basic who knowledge you can read in any other Who biography. His autobiographical bits were joy and fun! Maybe the only reason to buy the book in my opinion. He writes totally different than the author...
ANYWAYS: here my fav facts from the book that you probably didnt know before
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this is the face of a man who -when his father gave him driving lessons for his 21st birthday as a present- decided driving wasnt really his thing and he spent the money on clothes and parties instead. He never had a drivers license ever and also never desired to have one 
the hospital he was born in, was bombarded and destructed one day after his birth
as a child he was really weak and thin and had basically every disease that existed
his family was poor af
his father left the family early and held contact with his son, but soon disappeared with a new family
his stepdad, Gordon, disliked John alot and would ignore him, hated everything John did or said and he let his bad moods out on Johns mother, which caused John to be very silent and observative around the house so that there wouldnt be any trouble
he did everything to please Queenie (his mom) so that there was no fighting, according to Alison
loved drawing and playing but usually alone since he had no friends apart from their dog
he heard a trumpet solo once from a trad jazz band when he was 6 or so and decided he wanted to learn the trumpet
my fav line of the book probably: “despite his own expectations, he passed the exams to go to grammar school” like same
at school he was bullied from the older boys but soon left alone by them because he would fight back with badass comments 
he applied for the school band for the trumpet but the tallest guy in the year was chosen (he was the 2nd tallest)  which made John mad, but he discovered the french horn
soon he found a friend, mickey brown, at last and he gave him the nickname “ent”
he was so terrible in P.E that he was dismissed with other pupils to play somehwere else, they were called “the hockey misfits” and guess who was among them: Pete Townshend.
yeah as you might know they became besties because they loved music and black humour.
he found himself a gf (alison) and Pete & a school gang (like 4 ppl) and his life seemed to finally get where it should.
his worst subjects were geography and german like wow (im a german geography student lmao)
once they played in a pub and johns stepdad was there and was super angry and gave john a list with his fav pubs and told him “these are the places I never want to hear your fucking music playing”.
after walking home pete decided to switch the guitar and john wanted to become a musician more than ever
Roger found him and John kind of convinced him (it took months apparently) to get Pete into the band and then it all started
he judged the beatles because John Lennons harmonica was “out of tune” in love me do, wow ok you nerd
john started smoking with 20 and was the last one to quit his job for the band and he was against drugs at first (bc he had a “civilized” job) but then decided to give a shit, dyed his hair black, bought cigarettes, smoked dope with pete and did speed too
he wanted to step out of himself and feel good about himself and he was always a fashionnerd so he started buying and trading and selling clothes (he once was dismissed from school bc he wore the school uniform incorrectly)
with 18 or so he was still living at home, had a toy soldier collection and a pet budgie
pete and his college friends made fun of john bc he wasnt a student and still lived at home, although john could have gone to college too and he wanted to, but his stepdad again said no and he had no choice.
he was very awkward and introverted but could open up with his music 
he was really into pop art (esp pop art clothes)
was a pseudo mod bc he only liked the fancy clothes and motown music
with the who he found a purpose in his life and finally could be different than ordinary ppl
hated when people touched his hair, he literally hated it
would fuss much about his hair in general
once after a concert they were starving and the room service was alreday home so they had to look on used plates and food wagons and John found a shrimp and said: “who wants to dine with me tonight?” (idk that really made me laugh)
keith moon was john entwistles soulmate and they were the cutest, most iconic and funniest duo ever end of discussion
his amps would soon be called little manhatten bc he had so many bc he wanted to be loud
he actually went to sing at church once when he was like 24 and the band made fun of him then he stopped
in the late 60s he bought a house with alison in a normal neighbourhood and went walking the dogs on sundays and stuff
but he was a party animal and always the last to go
he was really sensitive and cried often according to Alison but only in front of certain people
he would totally step out of his way to please people
when they played at the monterey pop festival they didnt bring their own amps along and john was furious bc he said the american amps are shit and kit was like “no” and john didnt talk to him for the whole festival until their perfomance was over and they had sounded like shit to tell kit “I TOLD YOU SO” thats how extra he was
when he got money he would spend it bc he was so used to being poor that he thought it wouldnt last long and he had to enjoy it NOW
he was always calm and everyone respected him and kit told a story where he entered the room and roger was at keiths throat and and pete was screaming something and john was sitting in the corner cleaning his nails. thats who energy
liked to dance at parties
his fav drink was rémy cognac with 40% and he would drink like 1 bottle alone everyday in his later years...wow dude
he was also gentlemanTM and once paid taxis for girls from london to brighton after a party
once at a wedding the free drinks were out and John just gave the barkeeper his creditcard and said he will pay for all the drinks of the night for everyone (it wasnt his wedding)
Roger once said: “John made smartass comments that deserved a punch in the face” sounds like him yes
he didnt really care about money and always wanted to pay and never told anyone how much things had cost and brought gifts for everyone
soon that ended in a shopping addiction tho and he bought ridiculous things for ridiculous amounts of money
when the who was inactive he sank into depression :(
held the band together during who by numbers & who are you
wrote and played all the quadrophenia horn parts himself
never lost his passion for art and always drawed alot, said Alison
cried when Christopher was born aww
once he saw their manager in an art museum and how he wanted to buy a painting but couldnt afford it, so John bought it secretly and shipped it to said managers home as a gift
We all know John was a huge collector. His most treasured collection was .. wait for it: teapots.
he tried to save Keith from being arrested once and ended up being arrested too lol
wanted to write a scifi concept album but desorted the idea and gave some songs to the who (905) or Pete
was a good cook apparently
When he gave a hug HE was the one who decided when to let go sdfghjk
hated confrontation and would hire other people to tell someone bad news
he spent so much money on dumb shit like wtf
but didnt really care either
probably the master in picking up and seducing girls
he let his stepdad live in the quarwood mansion when he wasnt there but Gordon was still an asshole wtf
the contact to his real dad was really sporadic
when the who ended, it hit him really hard and he didnt know what to do besides partying and buying stuff/hording stuff
was very insecure and selfconscious in the 80s according to Maxene :(
he actually took pete breaking up the who really personal and was sad 24/7
was that kind of guy that said bad stuff about the who but when you said bad stuff he would try to kill you on spot
with cocaine he felt really confident and still like the 60s/70s rockstar he once was but he didnt understand that these times were over and he needed to move on
sometimes went into random pubs with friends and made jam sessions for the guests
he still was generous and loving until he died and tried to play with other bands but it was not the same
he really liked Kenney and hung out with him more than with his wife at some point lmao
was a total giver and people who worked at quarwood would steal money from him but when someone pointed that out he got angry with that person for even suggesting that
was a real softieee (and a huge nerd)
all his friends said that he was shy at first but once you got to know him he would come totally out of himself, was very funny, loved to tell stories, was very very loyal and would try evertyhing to make you laugh aww
all in all a glorious story with a sad ending and he did destroy himself completely, but lets remember that Pete Townshend described old John still as "wonderful, mature and elegant” so lets cling on to that :)
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