#so yeah. i would say a lot more on this issue and len's specific politics but it would requrie diving into what are IMHO genuinely some of

[molsno]

this is kind of random but do you ever feel like people treat transmisogyny as a lesbian-specific problem, and if so, does it bother you as a trans lesbian? i don’t really mean general criticisms of transmisogyny within lesbian spaces, but rather people who seem to talk about transmisogyny like lesbians *specifically* perpetrate it the most, or are more capable of perpetrating it than anyone. i feel like this has become a popular trend in queer discourse (usually from tme non-lesbian ppl) to demonize or ‘other’ lesbians, & i think it extends from contempt toward “man-hating lesbians” but lumping trans girls under “men” to legitimize it, but i don’t know if i just notice it more because i’m tme, and i don’t want to overstep or make anyone feel like I’m discouraging discussions of transmisogyny by saying this isn’t a lesbian-exclusive issue. i know the ‘political lesbian’ movement was predominantly driven by straight cis women (and a smaller but non-zero number of cis bi and lesbian women) who laid a lot of groundwork for associating bioessentialism with lesbianism but is it unfair to say “lesbians aren’t an essentialist hate group and shouldn’t be generalized/singled out”? like is this a trend you’ve noticed as a tma lesbian, or am i looking at this through a misguided lens? sorry for rambling on, feel free to ignore and i hope your night/day is going well <3

I think that definitely happens to an extent, but that's mostly because tme non-lesbians believe in lesbophobic stereotypes that lesbians are more likely to be terfs and that most terfs are lesbians. it definitely bothers me as a lesbian, because not even being trans exempts me from these stereotypes. I've literally had one of my former best friends tell me they didn't trust lesbians, including me, because terfs invalidated their gender as a nonbinary person. like. it's vile.

so yeah, I think it's fair to ask people not to generalize about lesbians, but at the same time, I've also seen firsthand, many times, that transmisogyny is still prevalent among tme lesbians. the critiques tme non-lesbians make are mostly just blatant lesbophobia (and transmisogyny by assuming lesbians are talking about trans women when they say men), but over time I've become increasingly disillusioned by tme lesbians after seeing just how willing they are to throw tma lesbians under the bus. as just one example, a few months ago, there was this bi lesbian blocklist that was going around on here, and regardless of your feelings on that particular topic, the fact of the matter is that almost every single person on that list was transfem. trans women who have never identified as bi lesbians or even said anything publicly about bi lesbians (including several of my close friends) wound up on that list for seemingly no reason, and found themselves blocked by most of the tme lesbians on this website. you would think that people who put "tme" in their bios and reblog posts about transmisogyny would at least make an effort to stop and think about the implications of this, but it turns out that a sizable number of tme lesbians will exile a bunch of trans women from their community based on blind accusations of them being predatory men invading the lesbian community without a second thought.

that being said, the behaviors I just described aren't really unique to tme lesbians either. tme people of all genders and orientations have been doing the exact same things for decades. so what I'm saying is, although I don't think it's fair to generalize or single out lesbians as being particularly transmisogynistic, that doesn't mean tme lesbians should be pretending that they're incapable of transmisogyny and insisting they don't need to hold each other accountable for perpetrating it.

[ragamuffinsage]

Edelbert and Dimidue were two of my first Fire Emblem Three Houses ships (yeah I have a type), and over the four years the game has been out I’ve noticed they get a very different treatment, fanwork-wise. Within the context of the story, both relationships are very different in terms of how the characters came to know each other, but specifically from a meta perspective, there’s a pretty obvious double standard. Edelgard and Dimitri both have significant positions of power over their vassals, and both of them do their best to treat them as equals regardless. They go out of their way to humanize them even while being surrounded by a society that would encourage otherwise. And while that’s not the norm of the culture they grew up in, and it reflects well on both of them as people that they defy that, it’s should still be considered basic human decency. Especially if you’re writing them in a relationship.

With most Edelbert fics I’ve read, Edelgard’s treatment of Hubert tends to be treated as more of a given. While their uneven power dynamic is often a point of conflict, Edelgard sees Hubert as a peer and a confidant, and she’s not usually portrayed as a saint for doing so. With Dimidue, I’ve seen a lot more fics that focus on how wonderful and giving Dimitri is for doing things for Dedue. And I’m not saying it isn’t meaningful or significant that Dimitri cares deeply about Dedue’s wellbeing. However, making the main focus on a fic about their relationship how much Dimitri does for Dedue- especially when Dedue is much more likely to be written as a satellite character than Hubert is- can feel like it’s playing off white savior tropes. And this goes double when everything Dedue does for Dimitri feels minimized in comparison.

Again, Dimitri is doing genuine good by standing up for Dedue and seeking justice for Duscur. And it’s work that the rest of Faerghus isn’t doing. The problem arises when their relationship is explored solely via the lens of Dimitri being the most amazing person just for wanting justice for a people subjugated under the kingdom that he will inherit. Reparations for Duscur should be a priority regardless of his personal relationship with Dedue. There’s also the issue of fewer writers focusing on everything Dedue does for Dimitri. He cares for his health. He fights for his legacy. In Crimson Flower, he literally gives up his humanity and dies for him. All while having not even a fraction of the societal power or resources Dimitri does. Even more egregious is when fic writers put so much emphasis on what Dimitri does for Duscur without going into everything Dedue canonically does for his own people in his endings.

The ironic part is Edelbert doesn’t actually need to be written as nuanced as it often is. It’s a relationship more inspired by medieval fantasy tropes than real world power imbalances. If you want to romanticize the hell out of their power dynamic or turn it in to a cut and dry sexy master-servant relationship, I won’t stop you. I don’t think it’s particularly in-character, but it’s not really playing on tropes that are actively harmful. Dimidue on the other hand needs to be written with more thought put into how these characters are being portrayed because their canon relationship is informed by racial politics that reflect the real world. The discrimination Dedue faces at the hands of Faerghus isn’t allegorical or fantastical; it’s a much more realistic portrayal of scapegoating and genocide than is typical for Fire Emblem as a series.

There’s a lot of great Dimidue content out there, but it’s uncomfortable to see fics and headcanons that essentially boil down to “isn’t it sweet and romantic that Dimitri thinks racism is bad?” get attention when Dedue constantly has his importance to the narrative- and to Dimitri- diminished.

I’d love to get other people’s thoughts on this too; just please don’t turn this into a generic house discourse post. I have my own options on the different houses, but this isn’t meant to be a petty ‘beagles stans are better writers than blions stans’ post or whatever. It’s a post about how characters of color and stories that don’t center a white European narrative tend to get shafted by fandom across the board.

[rotzaprachim]

.

[traincat]

Hey, what do you make of Peter following Gwen around after their breakup in TASM2?

Okay, this is a tough one because, like, I don't want to be like, yay stalking, but like, in the specific context of this scene, I'm gonna be a little bit like that. Not real life stalking, before someone comes into my inbox like, "Traincat, are you glorifying stalking?" I'm not! I've been followed for multiple blocks in NYC on several different occasions so believe me I know this behavior, in real life, is not excusable. But we're talking about a fictional character in a movie so I think it depends on what we mean when you say what do I make of it. I'm going to be talking about it purely in terms of how I'm judging most Spider-Man adaptations, which is on a scale of how true I feel they are to the original comics, not on a 1:1 adaptation ratio but on whether or not I feel they captured they spirit of the series, setting, and character.

So I have to say that I think it's a good scene because I think it's ultimately very in character for Peter. I also think it's an interesting scene because while the films are primarily through Peter's perspective -- we know his intentions while he's following Gwen around are benevolent, if overbearing -- it also allows the audience enough room to step back and to see that he's a flawed character. Which I think is one of the problems some Spider-Man fans have with The Amazing Spider-Man series: it presents Peter as a flawed hero. Prime example? He's kind of stalking his ex-girlfriend.

Do I think this is objectively great behavior from anyone? No, and I don't think we're necessarily supposed to approve of his actions. I really don't think TASM's goal was to make us agree with everything Peter does. On the other hand, do I think it is in fact hugely in character for Peter? Listen. Peter Parker's a little bit of a stalker.

(Daily Bugle #2)

(ASM Annual #42)

(ASM #596)

Don't bug your friends and family. I mean, unless your friends and family are constantly being kidnapped by supervillains. Then I guess it's like "find my iPhone."

One of the things I've talked about with Peter in terms of how he's a flawed character -- and I very much think that he is and that that's a good thing -- is that he can be controlling. It's the flipside of the responsibility: because Peter has more power than other people in his life, he assumes responsibility for them, whether they like it or not. This is, from an objective point of view, some real machismo bullshit, but with a fictional character as well-developed as Spider-Man, I think it's an interesting character note that leads to potentially interesting friction between him and his supporting cast. TASM's Peter follows this same general path; although I don't think he's a 1:1 adaptation of 616 Peter, I would say he's essentially assembled of all the same parts. And that includes his tendency to make decisions for other people.

I've seen the bit where he's following Gwen brought up a lot, and I'm not saying it shouldn't be, but what I find interesting is that Peter's behavior immediately before it in the movie is almost never dissected in the same way. When we pick up with him at the beginning of the movie, he is controlling towards Gwen. We know in the gap between The Amazing Spider-Man and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 that they've had an on and off again relationship, with several breakups -- all, it's implied, facilitated by him, because he feels guilty over her father's death and George Stacy's last words, which asked him to promise to leave Gwen alone. (I have a different post about how it's interesting that the audience seems to side with Peter and agree that he should listen to George's desires for him to leave Gwen alone instead of Gwen's desires for Peter to be with her here, but it's a little off topic for this particular discussion.) This follows the ending of the first movie, where Peter breaks up with Gwen and then appears to get back together with her at the last moment. It's all Peter's decision, on his own, made largely if not entirely without Gwen's input. He certainly knows her feelings, it's just that they don't actually factor into his decision making when we pick up at the beginning of the movie. And that's a bad thing and I don't think, at least from my perspective, the audience is supposed to agree with him -- not because they want Peter and Gwen to be together, either, but because Peter is in the wrong.

Which is why I think the "I break up with you" scene is really interesting -- from the way Peter continually talks over Gwen -- his loudly going "wait, WAIT" over her while she's trying to express her side -- to the way Gwen wrests back control by breaking up with him and that breakup sticking for the majority of the movie. Which leads us into the montage scene where Peter's swinging around New York, including the clip where he's following Gwen from the rooftops. The viewer knows why he's doing it -- because he wants to make sure she's safe, but also because he wants to be able to see her on his own terms, without letting her have that control. The flipside of great responsibility is great control issues.

I'm going to say something potentially controversial, but I think some of the pushback against The Amazing Spider-Man franchise is that they're Girl Movies. They're the chick flicks of the superhero set. Look at the set up of the first kiss compared to Raimi's Spider-Man -- he doesn't shed his shy public persona to manfully rescue the damsel in distress from thugs while the rain pours down around them and she isn't so overcome that she has to kiss him upside down. (Look, it's an iconic kiss scene! I value it for its contributions of the pop culture landscape! But the cold pouring rain does conveniently provide the audience with a little PG-13 Heroine Nipple Action.) Instead it happens on Gwen's rooftop after Peter gets done arguing with her dad about politics at The World's Most Awkward Family Dinner. If anyone gets a little PG-13 nipple action, it's Peter when he has to shuck his shirt so Gwen can tenderly wipe down his gross lizard sewer wounds while she wears a pristine white nightgown. I've mentioned before that I don't think "superhero" shouldn't really be viewed as a genre in and of itself when we're judging what makes a superhero movie "good" because most superhero films are action films mixed with another genre -- sci-fi, Western, war movies, and then there's The Amazing Spider-Man/2, which are romances. They're the Twilight of superhero films. That's why Andrew Garfield gets to have such great hair. And that's why they fall back on tropes like "the hero staring longingly at the love of his life from far away, knowing He Can Never Be With Her." Cue the music. And it works, because Spider-Man is, essentially, a romantic hero, with all the pros and cons that come with that. Is it problematic? I mean, yeah, if we're supposed to agree that Peter's in the right, which I would argue is debatable, even if Gwen, when they get back together, seems to get over him following her really quick. Romantic stalking is a well established trope -- and whether or not it should be or whether it glorifies abusive behavior is a related but different conversation to viewing this scene on its own, through my preferred lens of: does this scene belong in a Spider-Man movie?

Yeah, because, and I say this extremely lovingly, he sucks. If Peter is supposed to be a perfect character, then of course he shouldn't do this, and this scene shouldn't be in the movie. But he's not a perfect character -- he's a very flawed one, and it's an in character scene.

[hopeshoodie]

I can’t believe it took me until part 8 to do my favorite boy but

 Here are the pros and cons of dating

Noah

 Cons

Noah is really non confrontational, so he tends to let issues fester. It’s not that he’s trying to let things build up, it’s just that he doesn’t think they’re important enough to bring up. He won’t start a fight about them when they’ve built up, but if MC is angry about something he’ll mention that there’s a bunch of things he’s let go but not have specifics. It ends up coming out like ‘yeah well what about all the other things?!’ ‘what other things!?’ ‘I don’t remember!!’. He’s not actively keeping track of all her mistakes, he genuinely does forgive and forget, but then when tensions come to a boil he needs to point out that there has been conflict that he just ignored. He’s not trying to guilt or gaslight MC, but sometimes it feels like it. If she thinks especially little of his intentions, it feels like he’s just pulling things out of thin air to be mad instead of focusing on the issue. That’s not what he’s doing- he just doesn’t address little things until they feel like big things. But of course he hasn’t done the introspection to truly understand how doing this is hurtful or articulate that he doesn’t mean it to be. 

When he and MC disagree, he lets things go wayyy too easily. This is fine if MC is a really mature, self-reflective person who can see that she’s crossed a line after the fact. But if MC is a little more selfish/immature, like Lottie, this is a huge con because he doesn’t give her accountability that would help her grow. We saw this with Hope- she wasn’t able to recognize how harmful her temper was when she was dating Noah because he never pointed it out, he just rolled over. If there’s a genuine problem- financial, emotional, logistically, he’ll ‘let it go’ until it’s a way bigger problem (and much harder to solve). 

Sorry that most of these cons are about how he fights with people, but that’s what we saw in-game lol. I’d love to know more about how Lucas or Rahim fight with their partners. But when you’re arguing, Noah tends to focus on really little details of what you said instead of listening to the whole thing and getting a sense of the bigger picture. So let’s say the issue is ‘Noah, I need you to tell me when you’re borrowing my car because you took it to the gym and then it went from having enough gas to get me to work in the morning to being on empty. This morning I had to stop for gas and that made me late.” The issue there is actually ‘please tell me when you’re using my car”, but he fixates on the gas part and says “well fine I can fill up your tank”. So he focuses on little details that he can fix instead of acknowledging the actual problem.

He internalizes things so fucking hard. Yes he intellectually knows that when MC gives him feedback on things she’s talking about his BEHAVIOR and not him as a person, but he definitely feels like shit about himself if he makes a mistake and MC calls him on it. He’ll definitely beat himself up about things for weeks after it happens, and his internal dialogue in general is pretty toxic. 

I can see him being a bit of a workaholic. Not in the same sense that Camilo is in Boat Party, but Noah definitely will go into the library on a day he’s scheduled to be off if he has projects to work on or will stay late because he got engrossed in research. Same thing now that the library’s closed because of COVID- it takes him two times as long to put everyone online and work from home, so he’s spending more time working than ever. He views it through the lens of the ‘greater good’- getting that display set up for the patrons is more important that seeing his wife two hours earlier because many members of the community outnumber one person. Plus he just cares so much about his work that he has a hard time seeing it as an inconvenience to other people.

He loves his family so much. Even when MC and he get married and have kids, he struggles to prioritize them over his siblings and parents. So if his little brother Arlo needs money, Noah won’t hesitate to give him a loan even if he and MC are struggling financially. If his aging mom or dad can’t live alone anymore, Noah will invite them to move in with his family, even if their house isn’t big enough to accommodate more people. I can see this being a huge point of contention, especially in that second scenario where MC would have to take on a caretaker role as well. Noah just wants to help people so bad and has a hard time saying no, so that can sometimes impede his partner.

He’s really used to living on low income, and so he has a lot of frugal habits and concessions that he thinks are normal that someone more middle or upper class might find irritating. These are all coming from my experience and things partners have complained about- but think things like only eating out once a month or refusing to turn the heat on until it’s dangerous or making his own laundry detergent. He grew up doing them out of necessity (and still does, student debt on a public librarian’s budget? I couldn’t do it), so he doesn’t realize how strange or frustrating his habits might be to someone who isn’t used to it. He also has a really hard time justifying spending excessive amounts of money, so if MC has lavish taste there’s going to be some conflict.

He doesn’t like initiating anything. Conversations, activities… you know *smirk emoji*. He will, but the ratio of when Noah suggests something to when MC does is like 1:8

My boy is beautiful, and his clothes look lovely, but he has 7 outfits that he rewears all the time. The closest thing to fashion is him putting a different button up shirt underneath his vest. It’s definitely a joke at work that he wears the same sweater, button up, and quarter length shirt just in different colors. You know that vine where the teacher walks into the room wearing the same shirt in different colors, saying the same ‘hello’ for like a million days. Noah’s coworkers remake that with him, because that’s exactly what he does. 

He’s a bit of a homebody, and loves routine. For me, massive plus, I love that. But for someone who wants to party regularly or be spontaneous, I can see constantly changing plans and going out with people being really draining to Noah. He has a small group of close friends, so he’d struggle to remember MC’s friends' names if she has more than five. Don’t get me wrong, Noah will take MC to galleries and dates at least three times a month, but it has to be discussed and scheduled in advance. 

Pros

Honestly, what isn’t a pro about him? Noah is a steadfast, thoughtful, and kind person. His politics are about taking care of people, providing them dignity and respect, and building community. He loves his family and is incredibly patient. He’s incredibly smart but not at all classist or condescending about it. I know this is supposed to be about how the islanders affect the person they’re dating, but oh my god he’s such a good person I love him. Let’s just say the pro for this is his positive aura. 

He’s really good at group dynamics and listening, so he goes out of his way to make everyone feel heard and valued. If someone says something and no one acknowledges it, he’ll specifically engage with them so they’re not left hanging. If someone’s trying to get a word in but can’t, he’ll get everyone’s attention then say ‘so and so had an idea’. He’s not one to boisterously laugh in group settings, but he always makes eye contact and smiles if you make a joke that flops or say something he agrees with. If people are teasing about something, he picks up if it’s gone too far really easily and will gracefully change the subject/tell them to knock it off. 

He’s super conscientious about respecting boundaries and ensuring the people around him are taking care of himself. If MC and him are long distance and texting after 10pm, he’ll be like “I love you, but we’ve both got to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow”. He’ll always check and make sure people have eaten when meeting up with them, and if they haven’t he’ll insist they get food from somewhere. 100% gives you his jacket, brings you water bottles, in general just wants you to take care of yourself. 

Above all else, Noah just always ensures the people around him feel safe. The last thing he’d want to do is make people uncomfortable, so safe driving, safe spaces, safe sex are all musts. He’s really good in crisis situations because he can calm people down and encourage them to think critically.  

Building off of that, he’s really aware of how much of the housework is being done by who and always tries to ensure he’s doing his part. I bet that was a big thing he ripped on Rahim for- Rahim expects his woman to clean up after him and do the bulk of the domestic work, and Noah knows that’s bullshit. I think Noah likes cleaning, anyways, and will usually take laundry/disinfecting bathrooms/cleaning dishes over cooking or running errands. But the mental load of keeping track of recipes/groceries that need replenishing and keeping up with kids needs, he’s aware of the imbalance and does his part. Obvious plus, because it sounds fucking exhausting to date a man. He fucking hates vaccuming though, and will splurge on a roomba. 

He has a dry sense of humor that’s very based in puns and hyperbole. Sometimes it’s hard to know when he’s joking or not, but he never makes you feel bad for missing a joke or dwells on something for too long. He absolutely subscribes to the Mcelroys’ No Bummers rule, there are some things you don’t joke about and he’s happy to shut down inappropriate comments or ‘jokes’. He definitely prefers physical gaffs and dumb ways of saying things, so his favorite comedians are John Mulaney and Chris Fleming. While humor isn’t an important part of how he relates to other people, Noah enjoys being around funny people and won’t shut down their energy like Rahim, Marisol, or Hope. 

This is just me projecting again but Noah is generoussss. Even though he doesn’t make a lot of money at the library, he still has a ‘mutual aid’ budget each month (and goes over it often). He’s the first one to give money to panhandlers, donate to gofundmes, and give friends/family personal loans. That definitely gets him into sticky situations sometimes, because he has a hard time saying no and can get taken advantage of, but ultimately I think it’s a pro because he’ll never forget where he came from and always prioritize helping other people. 

He has a really pretty, deep singing voice and this is a pro to me because fuck I meltttttt.

The shit he says to his partner or spouse? THE most romantic thing in the world. You think Mr. “you’re made of stardust” doesn’t shower his lover with the most meaningful lines at random times? You think he’s not quoting sappho and jane austen when he’s at a loss for words? You think he’s NOT going to turn over in bed on a lazy Saturday and say ‘this is the most perfect my life will ever be’? It’s not even prompted either, yes he’ll compliment Bobby or MC when they get all dressed up for date night, but more often he’ll profess his adoration in the middle of dinner, then take another forkful of food. 

Fantastic with kids, and this is a huge pro because people who can work with kids and be patient/positive with them make me so fuckim soft. But if/when (hopefully when because if MC didn’t want kids I don’t think it’d last) they had kids, Noah is happy to be on bottle duty, wake up early to the baby, and generally be a really involved parent. He’ll take a big chunk of paternity leave, and generally be there as much as humanly possible. Even when they have multiple little tyrants running around, he always makes time to be alone with MC and make sure she’s not taking on too much.

He’s basically a lesbian, which is definitely a reason I love him so much. Hear me out- loves milfs, loves 80s music, communicates affection through meaningful glances and playing with hair but will die before explicitly saying any of it, crushes on his best friend for the longest time but never makes the first move, puts way too much emotional meaning and personal metaphors into objects and then presents them as gifts, is into fandoms and actively collects pop figures, is attracted to assertive/powerful women, wears beige skinny jeans, wears VESTS….. That’s a lesbian. He’s a bisexual man, but he’s also an honorary lesbian.

A really good confidant. Noah’s an amazing listener and never judges people harshly- his life philosophy is as long as you’re not hurting anymore or yourself, everything else is details. So you can definitely tell him secrets and confess regrets to him and he’ll listen with those soft eyes and gentle nods. Talking to him about mistakes always feels like unburdening yourself. And he’d never tell your secret to anyone. Doesn’t matter if you cheat on him, lie to him, or die, he’s never going to tell anyone your secrets. 

[mooooooosicals]

Why is it that I just learned what neurodiversity was when quarantine started? Why did I not learn about it when I was younger? I'm just... It answers so many questions that I've been asking about myself for years.

Learning that everything I've felt actually falls under certain categories that go against the stereotypes I was taught... it both relaxes me and angers me. I just wish I were taught right from the start how it actually works.

I realize I've been being too vague so lemme give y'all some examples:

As a kid, I was always taught "person first language is more polite." And I thought I was being inclusive when I used it. Or when people say "go easy on them, they don't know any better," literally infantilizing them, and I just accepted it as "yeah, that's what I should do."

Believe me, if I could take back all the ableist actions I did before educating myself, I would do it in a heartbeat. I regret it deeply, and nothing I can do will ever cancel that out. Learning what I did during quarantine, a large amount of guilt took over me thinking back to everything I've done in the past. I hope I've changed for the better, but I cannot deny that I was in the wrong before learning.

Another thing that just absolutely tears me apart is that a lot, like a LOT of my traits are considered neurodivergent, but I was never taken seriously. I faced a lot of "oh, she's gonna grow out of that," "you're being a baby," "she's an only child, they're all like that," "what are you, [insert r slur here]?", "weirdo," and the one that hurts the most, "suck it up."

I always felt distant from other people, never being able to figure out why I couldn't connect with other people in the same way, say, my parents could. I understood that there was something... different about me, about the way I thought about the world, the way I communicated, but I couldn't put my finger on it. For 16 years of my life, I couldn't figure out why, why I was mocked so often, called a "crazy cat book girl," being the butt of every joke the Boys™ would make. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't function under triggering situations, like sudden loud noises, where I would literally go nonverbal. I couldn't understand why what I said was considered "rude" or how I was "talking too loud." I couldn't understand why tapping my foot or twirling my hair was bad and needed to be stopped. I didn't know why I got weird looks whenever I started talking about something I was enthusiastic about in class. I could go on and on and on and on and on for ages but this ramble is long enough as it is so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just. For so long. I couldn't understand myself.

Enter quarantine.

I turned to the internet to indulge on one of my new "intense obsessions" as I called it (another thing I always questioned, since when I was obsessed with something, I went all in, annoying everyone around me hehe). I met a bunch of people who happened to be neurodivergent, and when talking about their own experiences and realizing how much I related to them, I went into a panic.

For so long I was taught "you [neurotypicals] are above [neurodivergent people]" (which is wrong, on so many levels, we need to do better on education about this kinda stuff). Then, I find out just how much I have in common, and suddenly everything I thought I knew is put into question. Who even am I?

Ever since them, I've just considered myself a "spicy neurotypical" because I don't wanna offend anybody by labelling myself as neurodivergent and then being wrong, but recently I feel like that's changed.

I finally got through to my parents when they realized that I could not just "suck it up," I have traits that actually need to be addressed, and urgently. I honestly think it broke them, my mom in particular, because she always wants to be the best mom she can and to not have anything hold back her relationship with her daughter. I'm glad she finally is starting to see through my lens, but it's still gonna take a while. Still, I'm relieved in that aspect.

Ever since then, we've been pursuing a diagnosis of some kind, more specifically sensory processing disorder, so that when I go to college I can get accomadations. I won't have an official examination until August 4, just a few weeks before entering college on August 30, just a few weeks before I become a legal adult on August 26.

I had a meet up with one of the people who works with the psychologist the other day, to kind of get a sense of my situation. It was odd because they didn't just ask me about sensory stuff, but also about how I act. The more questions I answered about my behavior, the more I came to realize this wasn't just a sensory issue, but a behavioral situation as well.

My mom was on the phone with them the other day and-

They theorize I'm autistic.

You don't realize how emotional of a realization that is for me.

No dude, like I'm actually tearing up writing this.

If only someone could have told me this when I was younger.

If only someone could have told me this when I was at a Wiggles concert, having a meltdown because of the confetti canons.

If only someone could have told me this when I was overwhelmed by the flahsing lights and the loud pyrotechnics when watching Phantom Of The Opera.

If only someone could have told me this when I couldn't connect with my band section and I couldn't figure out why they were treating me as a kid when I'm older than some of them.

If only someone could have told me that it's okay. That I'm not a lost cause. I'm not immature. I'm not a weirdo, I'm not [words I can't repeat], I'm just. I'm just me. Just imagine how much trauma I could have avoided.

(disclaimer: these traits can be found in neurotypical people too. it's the fact that I have so many of these traits that gives me and others the reason to believe I could possibly be neurodivergent. However it's a whole spectrum of stuff, it's different for everyone. Don't use me as a resource. These are just my experiences.)

TLDR: As someone who is afab, we aren't taken seriously until it's too late. And it's extremely damaging.

We need to do better. Actually. We need to better.

(sorry this was really long, I'm just very emotional rn. might delete this later. I may not even be autistic or have sensory processing disorder or adhd or any of that. I may just turn out to be "spicy neurotypical." But who knows. I'm just,,, I'm just praying that I'll get my answers in time. The right answers.)

[nightwingshero]

1, 15, 25, 35, 45, 55, 65, 75, 85, 95, 100 for the OC(s) of your choice.

Thank you, love!!! 

1. Does your character have good aim?

Wren: She does, actually. She’s excellent at throwing knives and such, which shocks the hell out of her. 

Whitney: NOPE. Not even a little bit. She wouldn’t try, she would either embarrass herself and say breaking her nail as the excuse not to. 

Blair: Not...really. It got somewhat better with training with Oliver, but...there’s a reason she never played any sports. It’s not really her thing.

Camille: She does now, after training with Clint and Natasha at S.H.I.E.L.D. It took her a bit longer to get it, but she did get there eventually.

Naomi: Yes! She used to play softball when she was in high school, she’s rather athletic. Good luck challenging her to a game of darts. Just saying.  

15. Did your character ever want to be a cowboy?

Wren: No, not at all. She wanted to be a rockstar astronaut at first, something her mother thought was hilarious. Wren swore up and down that Rocketman was about her, but uh...she didn’t really get the lyrics at that young of an age. 

Whitney: Absolutely not. She was definitely a princess kind of girl. Being a cowboy was never her thing, she would rather be the princess or damsel in distress that gets swept off her feet. 

Blair: Not really. She wanted to live on Mars and be an astronaut too. She loves space and always has. Blair grew up to be an astrophysicist though...close enough. 

Camille: I could see that, sure. I don’t think it was specifically a cowboy, I think she wanted to be the Lone Ranger, like the show her father watches. She would make her dad pretend to be a bank robber so she could go after him. 

Naomi: Nope. Not at all. She was more into cops and robbers or princesses, to be honest. Cowboys just didn’t really hold her attention. The only one that could was Woody from Toy Story. 

25. Does your character experience sexism for the job/title they hold? (ie: she’s a girl, she can’t be x,y,z because only boys can be)

Wren: Not necessarily sexism, but Pratt does hit on her and stupid ass comments that piss her off. It’s borderline sexist and she’s borderline ready to punch him in the face.

Whitney: Yes, she does. She was raised treated like that, honestly, and she was raised to believe it’s okay. Joseph definitely treats her like a housewife, even as Mother of Eden’s Gate. She doesn’t know better, even though it really does piss her off. 

Blair: No, not at all. Her coworkers love her and don’t at all think that she shouldn’t be doing what they’re doing. She’s smart and well-respected in her field. And that doesn’t change with the teams at all. Blair isn’t disrespected like that, that’s a big no no. She also helps Mick with being politically correct. 

Camille: It depends on which job we’re talking about. She’s had her fair share as a doctor, her knowledge and rep questioned because she’s female. Now, in S.H.I.E.L.D., she has had moments, but not nearly that many. S.H.I.E.L.D. is known for having diverse agents, and the very few she’s witnessed be assholes, she’s corrected (or Nat has rather quickly.) With the Avengers, it’s a hard no. Her place was earned and she’s respected by members of the team, and those members are quick to address those issues when they witness someone treating her that way (they drink their respect women juice.)

Naomi: As a war correspondent, absolutely. Being told that “this is no place for a girl” was something she received a lot. But she did a badass job at it. Now, S.H.I.E.L.D. was a lot better, for sure. They welcomed her and her skills for gaining intelligence with open arms, she’s a resident badass. Once S.H.I.E.L.D. is taken down, she becomes the PR for the Avengers, in which she’s someone you don’t wanna cross. She becomes highly respected. 

35. Naptime, yes or no?

Wren: YESSSS! That girl loves naps! Give her a slice of cheesecake or some ice cream right before, and she’ll curl up on the couch and nap while watching The Twilight Zone. 

Whitney: Eh, not really. Whit is normally busy with something, and she would rather be doing something productive than nap. 

Blair: Yes! Most of it is because she’s working all hours of the night on something in the lab, so when she gets home, she’s not getting enough sleep. So! Yummy hot cocoa and naps!

Camille: Eh, she’s not known for it because she works a lot during the day, but if it happens, it’s because she’s pulling long hours and needs a break. But Camille isn’t really a frequent napper, it makes her more tired, if she’s being honest.

Naomi: Nah, that’s not really her thing. She’s used to long hours, and knows that if she naps, she won’t be able to sleep that night. So she’ll power through and maybe just go to bed a bit earlier to catch up on sleep. 

45. Would your character kill someone to get what they want?

Wren: Ehhhh...that’s a hard maybe, depending of if we’re talking pre-cult or not. Wren is morally grey, and if she had to have it, she would once she’s joined Eden’s Gate. But before? Not as likely. 

Whitney: Yes! She actually has, to be honest. Joseph and the others pretty much numb her to killing someone, so she’ll poison someone who crosses her. She literally kills with kindness. 

Blair: Absolutely not. Blair doesn’t put her personal needs/wants above the value of others and their lives. She’s very much against that and couldn’t live with herself if she did. 

Camille: I have a hard time seeing it, unless it was a mission in which it needed to be done (her wanting peace, killing bad guys for it, etc), but those are few and far between because she doesn’t do a lot of the things Natasha does. But she is a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

Naomi: Eh, not really. If it is a “want”, its going to be revenge. But it’ll be with the right intentions and in the name of doing what’s right. She’s not as scared or worried about getting her hands dirty as long as it’s for the right reasons, not necessarily because of something she wants. 

55. Do you have any characters who despite trying their best ended up being horrible parents?

Wren: I think it would depend on how you define ‘horrible’. Because Wren tries her best to be the best mother she can be, but feels as though she’s become her father and failed Harper. Mostly because Wren kept a lot of the Wrath and Judge stuff a secret, and Harper doesn’t take kindly to that. It’s not her being a horrible mom, just making bad decisions that affect her kids (mostly Harper) negatively. 

Whitney: Yes and no. While yes, she protected her son and put him in hiding with Ivy, she still stands by Joseph for the longest time instead of leaving to be with her son and to take her daughter and sister away from danger and toxic relationships. She is able to redeem it, though. Her and Wren both, actually. 

The other three (that I chose to do this for) are good moms, so I don’t think this really applies.

65. Is your character energetic?

Wren: Oh yeah, she definitely can be when she’s comfortable. She can get pretty excited and pumped up, often making Jane, Ivy, and Whit a bit tired. Randy, Gray, and Ro just go along with it, Mel and Quinn join in and encourage it. 

Whitney: Yes and no. She really is, but she tries to keep it on a leash and not show it, because she was raised being told that it wasn’t lady like. The more she grows (as a character) and hangs with the rest of the group, she loosens up a bit. 

Blair: She can be when she’s had too much coffee. Blair is naturally mellowed out though, often being more calm. She’s not reserved at all, she just...has more of a calming upbeat presence. 

Camille: Sorta! It depends on the situation, she’s more reserved when you first meet her. There are moments when she’s with friends that she does absolutely get energetic, but she’s mostly energetic after working out or going for her morning jog. 

Naomi: No, not particularly. Like Camille, she’ll get amped up for a workout, and there may come a time where she’ll get energetic over a big event, but she’s not one to get super energetic. 

75: Do any of your characters wear glasses, sunglasses, goggles, or monocles?

Wren: She’s obsessed with aviators. She collects them, and they’re usually blue, silver, or black. She eventually steals John’s because she digs them. 

Whitney: If she’s gonna wear sunglasses, they’re either the 50′s or 60′s kind. Some cat-eyed, or those bigger glamorous butterfly styled ones. But she does have some nice Gucci and Coach glasses she’ll wear. It depends on what matches. 

Blair: She’ll wear regular sunglasses, mostly Ray Bans. She wears reading glasses from time to time, but she mainly uses contacts. Blair has a pair of backup glasses that have the tinted lens. 

Camille: She used to wear glasses when she was younger, but she eventually got Lasik, so she doesn’t wear them anymore. As for sunglasses, she wears modern cat-eyed or just rectangle ones. Anything that looks good and is her style. 

Naomi: Aviators, and that’s really it. She’s not really big into them, she has one pair of brown aviators, and that’s it. They do the job. 

85. Has your character ever been led down the wrong path because of their anger?

Wren: Absolutely. That’s the whole point of her canon, actually. The Wrath leads to her joining Eden’s Gate and becoming the Judge. She eventually redeems herself, but it does lead her down a dark path. 

Whitney: Yep. She starts killing for Eden’s Gate because of it, but it’s funny, because it’s her anger that actually helps her redeem herself and gain her freedom: killing Joseph and Ethan. 

Blair: Yes and no...? Kinda...? Like, when she woke up from her coma, she found out Carmen had left her for someone else, essentially moving on. The anger is what led to her maybe running into some unfavorable company (Leonard), where she decided to just give him her engagement ring instead of running the risk of him robbing her at the bar they happened to run into each in (his favorite bar). In her anger, she purposefully went to a bar that was known to be a frequent place for criminals. But that anger also had her moving to Star City, where she became a hero. Sometimes her anger can get her in trouble with her powers, but that gets better. It all depends on how you look at it. 

Camille: Sort of. The Civil War incident really...was something else. Camille didn’t see it as a dark path, it was what she believed was right. She was angry that something so wrong went down in Lagos, so she sees the need for restrictions and boundaries. Her siding with Tony caused turmoil between her and the others, even Steve, and it led to a huge fight at the airport while trying to bring them in. Rhodes getting hurt added salt to injury. Later, it’s shown to her that perhaps choosing the Accords was the wrong path after all. 

Naomi: Depends on how you look at it, honestly. As head of Public Relations for the Avengers, most just assumed that Naomi would be in agreement to the Accords, but she’s not. She’s angry that the government is trying to have control over them, especially after with what happened with S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra, she even says that to Camille when they’re fighting about it. She fully believes Steve and sticks with them as things become divided, and she becomes a fugitive right along with them. So, depending on what side you’re on, it’s either yes or no. 

95. If given total rule over a country, would your character step aside to turn it into a democracy?

Wren: I think this depends. I think, yes, for the most part. Wren isn’t one to be a leader, she would rather not, but can rise to the occasion when needed and if she knows it’s better she’s in charge. But she would want everything to be fair and such. It would have to be a true democracy. 

Whitney: I see her as keeping control, honestly. Whit is the kind of person that will claim she knows best, and maybe she does, but she wouldn’t relinquish control. Not when she’s never been allowed to have it. If given the opportunity to do so, this queen would absolutely rule. 

Blair: Absolutely. She would try her best to set it up with the right candidates, honestly. She wouldn’t want to put anyone in the wrong position where they can do harm, but politics are honestly not her thing. 

Camille: Yes, without hesitation. I could see her turning to Steve, because who else would know better than Captain America (and no, not that knock-off Gucci Captain America they have on The Falcon and The Winter Soldier--we don’t support Walker in the Camille and Steve household), so she would ask who would be better to hand it off to.

Naomi: She would give that up so fast, without thought. She agrees fully with Sam when he says that he’s just the soldier, because she feels something very similar. She wants nothing to do with leading something like that, she doesn’t want that responsibility. It’s why she doesn’t really join the Avengers. She has zero interest in leading. 

100. Are any of your characters queer?

Honestly, it’s safe to say that most of my OCs are. I have more queer OCs than I have straight OCs. But I have so many OCs, I’m just gonna list the ones I’ve done so far, and if you wanna know more, you can always send me an ask!

Wren: Bi, hands down. Her first relationship was with a woman named Lilith in college. She honestly preferred women in the beginning because she doesn’t trust men easily. 

Whit: She’s bi, but still in the closet. She hasn’t had a chance to really be with a woman, but the attraction is there, and so it the want to do so. 

Blair: Definitely pansexual. She thought she was just bi for the longest time, but she’s actually pansexual, and she’s comfortable with it. She was engaged to a woman before she went into a coma, and a few hook ups afterwards have been a mixture of genders. 

Camille: Straight. One of the few that I have that is, honestly. She’s tried in college, but it wasn’t for her. She supports it completely, though. One of her best friends is gay, and she went to their wedding. 

Naomi: Bi, definitely bi. She’s had a mixture of men and women in her dating history, but ultimately none of them worked out because it’s hard to have a personal life when you’re in war zones for the sake of journalism or working for S.H.I.E.L.D. where you’re undercover often in order to gather intelligence. 

[talesofsonicasura]

Thief's Ambition

Velvet Dilemma

Every thief needs the right tool for any sort of job. But what would happen if one of your resources isn't what they seem to be? Long post. Warning: Suicide Attempt, and mentions of abuse

They say reality and imagination are two sides of the same coin. Reality being ruled by laws and sciences to present what one calls 'normal', a limited perspective. Imagination however, is without restrictions if someone has the willpower to create or dream, limitless potential.

Information or to be specific, Digital Code' held both treats of reality and imagination. Rules to stabilize the unlimited potential of someone's creativity and what could be created is endless. Sometimes, one's design could break those boundaries. The results are determined by the creator. Whether it will lead to paradise or pure ruin. Only they can decide.

Le Blanc, a small but humble shop located in Yogenjaya, Japan. This cafe owned by Sojiro Sakura, is quite famous for their delicious curry, extraordinary coffee and friendly atmosphere. It is also the temporary home of a specific teenager. A young man whose choices can affect the world around him in large ripples. His name was Ren Amamiya.

The boy was around 15 years old, hair was a pitch black nest of curls, eyes a mysterious obsidian that shone brighter through the lens of his false glasses, a soft balance built with some growing muscle to his form, and stood about 5'7 in height. A pure black gakuran fitting snugly on the young man's body paired alongside black pants and nicely made boots as he carried his slightly large gray school bag over his shoulders.

His destination was Le Blanc, taking his time by walking down the sidewalk and glanced around to take in any important details. It didn't seem that anything would catch the boy's eyes since Yogenjaya was more of a rural area. That was until an abnormally tall structure crossed his line of sight.

Not too far from where he was, Ren could make what had to be a hotel. Around 5 stories in height and from how clean it seemed, the place was obviously new. Halfway down the large infrastructure was a soft magenta sign that read: Hotel Nexus. The name rings some bells in his head.

It was a new hotel that recently opened up before he came. Great service, fair prices and quite a selection of accommodations for anyone's price range. He heard some of the teachers and even students at his school raving about it.

Ren didn't really notice that he entered his destination until his nose was greeted to the bitter scent of coffee beans and spice of curry. His caretaker Sojiro Sakura, a rough looking older man with dark brown eyes, black hair in a man bun and beard, was in the middle of serving a few customers. Thus, the teen walked up to his room which was in actuality, a spacy attic.

Placing his bag on the bed, the raven was about to start on his homework when a voice spoke out. "Thy trickster." A soft, suave yet slightly distorted male's nearly made the boy jump if he didn't know who this voice belonged to. Not even the first few days in Tokyo did the teen come across the path of the supernatural.

"We need to have a discussion. Thee might have a problem." The voice explained much to Ren's utter confusion. If by instinct, the raven took off his glasses and held it out. Blue flames suddenly manifested on the frames, sparks spewing out to the attic floor in 5 different spots before the fire extinguished.

Each spark burned brighter as they grew in size but didn't spread across the wood surface like any normal fire. The smallest stood barely a foot in size while the largest being a shocking 15 ft all around. Suddenly, the fire sputtered out as five different creatures now sat before the young boy.

A large black horse that had two long teal horns, crimson eyes and white mane, a small brown haired pixie with butterfly wings wearing a blue one-piece and gloves, pink skinned imp with small wings and wore a belt with a large stinger positioned at an inappropriate place, and a jack-o-lantern headed creature wearing a dark blue robe, witch's hat, and white gloves holding a lantern.

The last being was not only large but vastly different from the others. Sitting slightly uncomfortable on the floor was a dapper gentleman-esque black and crimson demon.

Black leathery hide, pitch black mask for a face as fire highlighted the long spindly devil horns than just painting fiery eyes or the wicked smile, razor sharp black claws and angelic ebony wings that spawn from his lower back. The demon's clothing consisted of a black corset tuxedo held tight by red strings, white fancy cravat, a short crimson coat with long sleeves, collar and coattails, red armor mimicking dress pants covered the legs which ended with knife blade heels, and a tall black top hat stitched at the back with red strings.

Despite the five demons sitting before him, Ren wasn't afraid of their presence. After all, why would he be scared of his own Persona and one of the reasons he is still alive? From the information given by various sources, these beings were born from thoughts of man and assist those who awaken or earn their power.

His current Persona team consisted of Bicorn, Pixie, Incubus and Jack-o-Lantern. Ren couldn't forget his main Persona either, the one who answered his call and shared the same rebellion in his soul, Arsene. Seeing all five here meant there was something going on especially from the looks on their face.

Bicorn looked very irate, well, more than he usually was, Pixie was a mixture of concern and worry, Incubus had his arms crossed alongside a large scowl on his face and Jack-o-Lantern looked like he wanted to disappear. The only one who didn't seem upset was Ren's dapper devil, the flames of the mask were in a soft simmer, almost if he was sheepish. Things had to be wrong if the Legendary Phantom Thief didn't have his signature grin.

"Is everything ok? Arsene said you guys wanted to talk about something." The raven politely asked, it may not look like it but Ren did care for his Persona. Although, not all of them were on the same level as his rebel heart but… Out of the bunch, it was Incubus who spoke up.

"Here's the problem boss, none of us are getting fused!" And the teen's train of thought came to a stop like a broken record. "What?" The word just came out of his mouth as if he was on autopilot. Quite a reasonable reaction for when you considered Ren's current situation in full.

Stuck on probation in a foreign place, his future walking towards a foretold path of ruin, the twisted desires of his gym teacher manifesting as a cognitive place and these very creatures before him holding a key to his salvation. That also included fusing them to create a more powerful Persona.

"Normally we don't have any opinions when it comes to fusion. Previous Wild Cards before you had done the process thousands of times. However, this time there's two issues that we cannot accept! And no amount of bribery will change our opinion!" Bicorn huffed, scraping a hoof across the ground.

That actually convinced Ren even more to listen to their problem, especially when he considered the new information given. If there had been others like him, why wasn't he notified? And what was different about the process of Fusion if Persona used to not have an issue?

"Alright. Can you tell me these reasons for omitting fusion from the Velvet Room?" His inquiry seemed to relieve some of the tension for the group of Persona. The teen could only guess it must be rare for Wildcards to tend to their needs. Or it must have been quite a long time since a Persona User like him appeared.

"Sure dee-doo, bossman! First off is the Fusion Methods! Persona are fused in many different ways, some by dancing or even tarot cards. Executions aren't one of them. Despite some Persona being created from evil legends, the fusion tools were always humane and fair for all participants." Jack-o-Lantern spoke up, the fire in his lantern burning brighter with each word.

Ren easily agreed with that reason. His first time actually being able to use the Fusion was a very unsavory experience. At that time, he only had just Arsene and Pixie. To see Igor and his assistants unveil those large guillotines made him feel like he was back at that Palace thing.

Seeing shadows of people being tortured like slaves already made him a bit uncomfortable but the 'Fusion Tools' were enough to leave the room with a poker face just to hide a grimace. "Yeah, I can see your point. Don't know how a guillotine isn't even supposed to do that."

That also raised another question as he had a feeling what the second reason really was. Pixie only solidified that very thought. "Our second reason is the Velvet Room itself, to be precise, Igor himself. You see, out of many Personas, I am usually the one Wildcards tend to acquire first." A look of nostalgia sparked in her eyes.

"This means that I am often fused quite a lot so I've been around Igor. Despite looking a bit crooked, the man has an aura of a gentleman and has this mischievous but kind air around him. Something that makes the Velvet Room comfortable for both Persona and Wildcards but…" A nervous and saddened look was quick to mark the fairy's face.

"...that isn't the Igor we know. This one is cold and has this aura of cruelty hidden underneath. And it's not just him but both Velvet Room attendants feel off too. It's almost if both girls are like broken dolls, scraps of a toy remade into two different copies."

The room went silent for a bit as Ren processed all this information. Persona who's been summoned or recruited a lot, Veteran he'll call it, could feel when something is off with the Velvet Room. It would explain why Arsene didn't seem that bothered unlike the others, since he was new to the whole thing.

Now that the teen thought about it, Igor and his attendants seemed very quick to introduce the Fusion mechanic… too quick. If something was indeed wrong with the Velvet Room, then it would be best to limit his usage. Ren couldn't just stop using it altogether and none of them had issues with the Register/Summon option.

"Alright. I won't use the Velvet Room for fusion. If you guys think the place is off and Igor can't be trusted, then I'll trust your judgement. Problem is, how can I perform Fusions now?" The Persona he had now, excluding Arsene, can't really grow powerful enough to deal with any future Palaces.

Stronger Personas were needed if he was going to avoid this 'ruin'. His main Persona then spoke up. "How about you search for a mage? Thou passed one earlier today." Wait what? Ren looked at the Curse Type with a mixture of disbelief and surprise.

There's a mage, someone who practices actual magic, in bloody Tokyo. Pixie spoke upon her User's look of befuddlement. "Practicers of magic do exist, master Ren. They are rare and tend to stay hidden amongst the locals. You can easily guess why. Some even treat Fusing or Summoning Persona like an exam to know if one is ready for the next level of magic."

The raven haired teen let out an intrigue hum from the explanation. If he can find the mage Arsene sensed earlier then they should be able to help with his Fusion problem. "Where did you sense them anyway?"

Ren couldn't believe the stroke of luck he got. Apparently the person he was looking for happened to be in Yogenjaya, specifically the new Nexus Hotel. Once school was over for the day, he quickly made his way towards the place. It was honestly bigger in person than seeing it from Le Blanc.

Various trees with interwoven branches formed a path to the hotel similar to a green red carpet, two fountains paired with benches on each side of the fountain and the centerpiece was a peculiar statue. An 8 meter giant of scrap metal carefully melded together to form a lizardman wielding a large microphone stand like it was a guitar and on the plaque it stood on read: Welcome to Hotel Nexus.

There are even a few stalls set up for local vendors to rent and sell merchandise. 'This hotel feels like a homey place to stay in. No wonder a lot of people Shujin talk about it.' Ren thought while looking at the large statue with intrigue. He could see a lot of work was put into it from the V shape horns, beak like snout and even intricate design on the stand.

Even a non-artist can see all the work, effort and dedication put into it. "What do you mean it ain't for sale?!" A brutish shout immediately ripped the boy's attention. Obsidian eyes soon look at a scene forming to his side between a large portly man and someone around his age.

The girl had cyan hair with a silver frohawk at center, emerald green eyes bearing black v shaped marks underneath, and a thin elegantly curved body around 5'6 in height. Her clothing consisted of a black shirt, short red long sleeved jacket, dark blue cargo pants and white high tops.

What got Rens attention was the peculiar device hanging around her neck, it looked like one of those pocket pet toys but merged with a walkie talkie. Pure silver with red buttons and a black strap for string. She honestly looked very annoyed.

"It's like I said to your boss a million times before. Hotel Nexus isn't for sale! My family and I worked hard to make this place so no way in hell we're giving it up. I don't give a damn how high the food chain your boss is, the answer will be no!" Ren could practically feel the venom in her words from the fifteen distance.

Something that amused Arsene since the Curse Persona was laughing. 'It seems that fiery young lady is the mage that thou been looking for. Such strong rebellion radiating brilliantly alongside her magic.' The raven continued watching the scene unfold.

He had to agree with Arsene on the fiery term since the girl literally growled at the man before her. "Get outta here and tell your boss he can choke on his own balls!" The poor employee went running off in seconds with his tail between his legs. Adjusting his fake glasses, Ren decided to approach the cyanette once she took a few deep breaths.

Now that he was closer, the young man could see flecks of gold and silver in those emerald eyes as the girl saw him. "Hey there. Sorry if ya saw the commotion. I'm usually more professional but guys like that tend to grind my gears." She then put on a polite smile.

"My name is Hokuto...Shoutmon! One of the owners of Hotel Nexus. What can I do for you?" Ren couldn't lie, that was the oddest last name he heard in his life. Or the fact that her teeth were razor sharp just from the smile given. Knowing it was rude to stare, the raven haired teen spoke.

"My name is Ren and I happen to be new in the area. I was hoping you can answer a few questions for me." Best to have some honesty if he was going to even get the cyanette's trust. Hokuto merely kept a polite look on her face and stayed professional to even her posture.

"Sure, what questions do you have? Need any help finding a room or are you interested in renting a stand? Or is it more personal?" Childlike curiosity brimmed in the emerald eyes of the Nexus' heiress that made Arsene laugh in his human partner's head. 'Might as well answer her, dear Trickster. Can't keep a young lady waiting~'

Ignoring the obvious flirt, Ren decided to be a bit straight forward in his response. "Can you help me with a little school project of mine? I'm supposed to ask people a set of words and how they felt about each one for my psychology class." He even pulled up a pen and paper to make it more convincing.

If she was really a mage, then he had a feeling Hokuto would be more comfortable with masking a risky topic such as this. Plus one class did ask for a Do-Your-Own assignment for homework today. The Shoutmon woman tilted her head a bit, mild confusion crossed her face before shrugging. Didn't seem that bad to her so why not oblige the boy?

"Sure, I don't mind. It's honestly a bit refreshing but I get to choose a few words too. That way it'll be more like a game, and who knows, ya might get some extra credit." Ren nodded his head and had a smirk on his face from Hokuto's unexpected reply. He even had a good word to start with.

"Alright. My first word or to be precise, words is 'Velvet Room'." The cyanette hummed a bit hearing the word. An inquisitive look on her face as she mulled the two words over in her head a bit. It took a few more seconds before she gave an answer.

"Intrigue and wonderment comes to mind but oddly also caution. Something as fancy as 'Velvet Room' has to have something dark or sinister in the undertone. Kinda like the story of Hansel and Gretel with the witch's house being made of sweets." The teen and Persona understood the reason behind that, even if the 'caution' part sounded more instinctual.

Not everything that glitters gold meant was good. "Alright, my turn. The word I choose is Tamer." Hokuto said with a cheery tone. It was his turn to tilt his head at the suspicious pick. Being a Wildcard did fit with the word since Ren had to befriend or 'tame' multiple Persona than just one.

"Adventurous, enlightening and carefulness. Being a tamer means you are potentially risking your life at befriending a living creature that can do harm if you aren't careful. Achieving a bond is also a reward in itself from how much you learn and grow with the experience." The raven haired teen could feel the warmth of his Persona's happiness and admiration blanket his heart.

Hokuto also seemed really happy about his response too, almost if checking something off in her head. "That's one way to say it. Now it's your turn again." Ren already knew what he was going to ask for this round. "Okay. My next word is Persona with a capital P." The cyanette mulled over the peculiar word in her head.

Something about it felt odd, like a primal instinct of sorts but she couldn't really guess why. Placing a hand on her chin, the young woman gave the boy an answer. "Since it sounds like a living creature, I would say wonder and bewilderment. Unknown life tends to bring tons of questions alongside the possibilities of their uniqueness."

Ren hummed at the answer while writing it down on paper. He would admit that he didn't see the next word coming though. "Your next word is Digimon!" Confusion immediately covered the raven haired teen's face. Did he hear that right? Digimon? Was it short for something like 'Digital Monster'?

"Taking a random guess here but the only thing that comes to mind is curiosity. I've never heard of a term like Digimon before and it makes me wonder what the concept truly is. A game or maybe a brand series that's focus is around collectible creatures under the same name."

It was the only reasonable Ren could actually think of. He'd never heard of 'Digimon' before and would have done some research later on. The teen was ready to ask his final question when the sound of a ringtone went off. Hokuto had pulled out her phone, a look of mild horror crossing her face in seconds.

"Seriously?! I'm sorry but I have to cut this conversation short. Got to close off one of the guest bathrooms and call for a repairman!" She quickly turned on the heel of her feet before taking off into the hotel. All Ren could do was blink as his objective was now out of reach.

'An unfortunate setback. However, thou at least have the mademoiselle's location. We would just need to visit another time.' Arsene whispered in the raven's head, the young man let out a sigh. He'll have to make do with the Persona he had for now.

The next day… Ren was sitting in his seat like usual. Getting stared at by most of his classmates and teacher with the appeal of a convict. An irritating normal when you had your criminal record and reason for being transferred thrown out to the entire school as if it was a newspaper.

It also sucked that his teacher, Mr Uchimaru, was an asshole who likes to harass others when they answer one of his surprise questions wrong. Ryuji texting him in the middle of the class and Morgana talking in his bag either. Even if no one could understand the not-cat, they could still hear his meows.

His mind however went to a grinding halt upon the words of his classmates. "There's someone on the roof! Is she going to jump? Suzui Shiho?" Dread immediately filled his heart upon the name. Suzui Shiho was one of the upperclassmen who was being sexually harassed by his current target, the gym teacher Kamoshida.

He was out of his seat in seconds and ran straight for the hallway window for a better look. A better view was needed to see if it really was Shiho. Obsidian eyes widen in absolute horror upon the sight of the brown haired teenager standing at the ledge of the building.

'No… Dear god, please don't…!' The girl jumped off the roof, Ren's heart dropped to his stomach while his classmates screamed. Shiho was about to hit the ground when familiar light blue hair came into sight as someone caught her falling body in time. Ren immediately ran down the halls of the school, to get outside and see if his senpai was alright.

The teen caught sight of Hokuto Shoutmon holding the girl tight to her chest, Shiho was nuzzled into the hotel manager's neck in tears. "Shh. It's alright. Just let it all out. I don't know who hurt you but there are people in this world that still care about ya. Think about them, not ya tormentors."

Hokuto's strong upbeat voice was now a soft comforting whisper while she rubbed the suicidal girl's back gently. Emerald eyes looked into Ren's obsidian ones with mild surprise. It was probably the fact she didn't know he went to school here either.

"Shiho." The raven turned his head to see one of his classmates running towards the two girls. Ann Tamanaki, the platinum blonde girl with green eyes and her hair in two ponytails who was also Shiho's best friend by what he saw from their interactions. The hotel manager turned her head over to the blonde.

"I'm guessing you are a friend of hers? Do you know her parents' numbers? This poor girl needs all the support she can get right now and I need to call the suicide hotline. We were lucky enough that I was able to catch her in time." Hokuto let Ann hold Shiho but not before the pigtailed girl said a grateful teary 'Thank You'.

The cyanette then looked at Ren. "I don't know who broke that poor girl's will but I do know one thing. If that fucker shows their face, I'll do everything in my power to knock em off their pedestal. No one deserves this for another bastard's sick pleasure. They say eyes are the window to one's soul, her eyes are that of a victim on their last string."

Shiho's parents immediately came over along with an ambulance and a few cop cars to check on the frazzled brunette. Hokuto had left after they questioned her on how she even found Shiho. Apparently the hotel manager was heading towards one of the markets nearby, a coincidence that managed to save his classmate's life.

It also meant that Kamoshida needed to be dealt with before someone else breaks. There is the expulsion deadline too, since confronting the man in righteous anger was a dumb idea. Whatever the case, the perverted PE teacher needed his heart changed. And the only solution was the man's castle, nestled in the school's Metaverse.

The Metaverse was a physical plane created through the unconscious cognition of people, a place between reality and imagination. Palaces were an area created from the large distortion in a person's heart, something that reflected a dark mindset. Kamoshida's Palace was that of pure unadulterated lust.

A medieval castle filled with statues of himself or various girls around the skin that displayed their innocence in a perverse manner, echoes of male students were seen as slaves that were beaten meticulously, and the distorted version of Kamoshida flaunt through the castle as it's disgusting lustful king in nothing but a crown, heart shaped boxers and a fluffy red cape.

Through these halls was the key to stopping this man's twisted heart and the consequences to follow if they failed. Within one of the hallways, a large cluster of knights were gathered in a tizzy. Empty blue masks staring at a pile of molten gold, various statues of the Palace's Ruler melting into a golden soup in front of the culprit.

The suspect's body was shadowed by the large blaze behind them. "How dare you destroy the visage of our King Kamoshida?! You'll pay with your life wench!" One of the knights howled as all brandished their large blades. Feminine laughter came out of the figure alongside their appearance, emerald eyes glared down at the mass.

Ren was running as fast as he could, the teen helping a tired Ann with assistance from two others. The clothes the four of them wore were very different from what they wore in the real world, an attire created through the power of their Persona and rebellious souls.

The raven had a white domino mask bearing a black flare around the eyes, long black leather jacket paired alongside a bulletproof black vest, crimson gloves, black Italian leather pants, and black leather boots. Ann's entire was a full red leather blend suit that displayed her elegant lithe form, a red mask with cat ears, red stilettos and even a fake cat tail that seemed to move on its own.

Then there was Ryuji Sakamoto, a spiky blonde with brown eyes and Ren's first ally he made. His outfit was a metal skull shaped mask, a black suit bearing a metal spine plate along his back, red tie to a black bulletproof vest, black Italian leather boots and red gloves bearing metal knuckles.

Ren couldn't forget their odd party member Morgana either. A 1'6 ft tuxedo cat-like being with a form comparable to a bobblehead. Slightly large head with black fur on the top half of the head imitating a mask to the white bottom part, a yellow bandana scarf around the neck, a black body with white paws, white feet and white tip tail, and a brown fanny pack around the waist.

The two males were helping keep Ann steady, the platinum blonde was exhausted from summoning her main Persona. "We're almost at the exit, just need to go past this hanger." Morgana stated, his childlike male voice stern and strong. Smell of burning metal hit everyone's nose, all eyes were on the growing smoke that began to seep from an adjacent hallway.

"What the hell? Is someone else here because I don't think Kamoshida's knights are stupid to burn the castle to the ground?" The blonde was right but who was it. Getting into the Metaverse, much less a Palace, required the Metanav app. Without the mysterious phone app, no one could enter this place unless brought here by accident.

A familiar voice then reached Ren's ears. 'Thy Joker, that sounds like young Hokuto. It appears our acquaintance is making good on her threat to Madame Shiho's abuser.' Arsene spoke within the raven's head. It was an odd coincidence that the hotel manager was in the same corridor leading to the exit.

The group of four turned into the hall to see an army of Kamoshida's knights cornering Hokuto. None of them were blind to the gold statues of the Palace ruler burning behind the young woman, a sight that made Ren's main Persona purr in delight.

"Ain't that Shoutmon-san?! Did she get dragged in by accident like I did?!" Ann couldn't help the worried tone within her own voice. The not-cat of the group whistled at the destruction. "That girl isn't normal. It takes extreme heat to melt solid gold like that."

Ryuji guffawed at the amount of damage that the cyanette did by herself. "Talk about a one woman demolition crew! Maybe she can help us after we help her." The group was taken aback when Hokuto began to laugh at a guard's execution threat.

"A King you say?" The cyanette scoffed, her hand grasping the device around her neck. Morgana quickly notices the peculiar device. "I'm getting weird vibes from that gadget. Whatever it is, that thing is letting out a lot of power!" All three humans looked at their smaller teammate in surprise before facing Hokuto.

Something big was about to happen. "All I see is the evidence of a pervert who loves to harass those more innocent than him. It's time these trophies of sin burn and I'll light them ablaze with the fire of my soul!" A light purple aura circled around Hokuto's opposite hand.

The peculiar sparkled and moved in an inhuman but familiar to digital code if given a physical shape. The next words Hokuto said proved to Ren and his friends just how unique she was. "Let's do this Shoutmon! Biomerge!" Pure gold fire burst forth upon Hokuto swiping her hand across the device.

All of the guards had to jump back upon the massive blaze that now engulfed the teenage girl, her shadow growing amongst the wall of flame. For a second, the masked raven saw something familiar move within the fire. The visage of the Hotel Nexus Statue crossed Ren's mind.

"Hope you're ready!" Hokuto's voice boomed from the blaze but it was very off. There was a mechanical tone to it and all of Ren swore he heard another voice overlap, a scratchy, growlish young male one. A large gold armor leg and boot with a silver stripe going down the center alongside a back spike heel stepped out from the blaze.

What followed was a giant 16 ft armored beast, a golden dragon man that looked vaguely similar to the statue back at the hotel. Giant V shaped horns adorn the head alongside the golden tusk on the cheeks to form a pseudo helmet to the silver beak like muzzle of the dragon, a rounded chest plate that held two holes on opposite sides of the flat front, curved pauldrons leading to black wire hose that connected the slimmer arms bearing three fingered hands.

On the upper back was a helm very similar to the statue and that gold alloy went down the slim waist except for the silver circle on the stomach. And the part that showed this was once Hokuto was the bright emerald eyes burning with righteous fury.

"Cause OmniShoutmon is going to bring the house down!" Hokuto or OmniShoutmon bared her two fists in a boxer's stance as she let out a battlecry. Her eyes then flitted over the group of four, a look of surprise crossing the dragon's beakish muzzle. Something one of the guards noticed as he turned around to see the small group.

"The intruders are still here?! This rebellion will be squashed before it can grow!" Every knight began to shudder in an unnatural manner, their bodies immediately collapsing into streams of black and crimson shadow. The shadowy streams immediately rose up to form various Jack o' Lanterns, Incubus, Bicorn except for one.

One had transformed into a large knight in silver armor, ruby red angelic wings sprout from the back, their red skin face held a solemn stare as they held a large broadsword in front of them in a religious manner. Ren recognized that type of Shadow from a previous encounter, it was an Archangel.

"Mona and Skull, protect Ann!" With a flair, Ren pulled off his mask as blue flames swallowed it and Arsene materialized from the fire. The sight of the Curse Persona made a wild smirk run across OmniShoutmon's muzzle. "Knew there was something special about ya! Let's get to know each other after we toast these suckers with the melody of our burning souls!"

Orbs of pure sun yellow flame ignited the draconic being's claws, emerald eyes burning bright with something akin to passion. "Hard Rock Soul!" Both small suns doubled in size and with a howl OmniShoutmon tossed them with incredible force as if they were baseballs.

A large blast of fire exploded forth upon the two projectiles hitting one of the smaller Shadows, the intense heat burning groups of the ones that held no resistance to ash. Ren took the opportunity to strike the twisted monsters with their guard dropped by the blast.

His boot struck an Incubus from a high jump kick, he used the Shadow to spring towards a Jack O' Lantern stabbing his razor sharp straight into the pumpkin demon's skull. The raven then spun midair to send his hooked opponent straight into a small cluster of Pixies and quickly turned to a group of Bicorn.

"Eiha!" Red tinted black energy manifest between Arsene's claws, the Curse Persona morphing it into a short lance. The personification of the gentleman thief quickly threw into the head of one of the black stallions. The beast let out a painful neigh in response before exploding into a redfish black bonfire that grasped a few other Bicorns.

Some enemy Jack o' Lanterns lob multiple fireballs with a swing of lanterns, Pixies shot out bolts of lightning from their fingers and a herd of Bicorn went into a stampede covered in harsh wind magic. All of them were aiming for OmniShoutmon, who smiled maliciously at the attack.

"I am an inferno born of passion, baby!! You can't extinguish my soul that easily!" The draconic being leapt off the ground, arms spread out whilst her golden body flew through the air almost if riding on an invisible current. Hokuto swept past the lightning in a barrel roll, weaved through the onslaught of fireballs before going into a condor dive whilst bearing her horns.

"Mach Rush IV!" She picked up more speed as OmniShoutmon went straight to the herd of Bicorn with the intent to run them down. Looks of shock crossed the horn horses as every single one quickly found themselves bouncing off of the dragonoid then crash disgracefully to pieces. What was worse were their green horns easily shattered then sent off into rapid fire sharpnel, whatever wind magic on them now struck down multiple allies.

The only three non-combatants watched the scene in utter shock. "Holy shit! Hok- I mean OmniShoutmon completely wrecked that stampede like it was nothing!" Ryuji remembered how much of a pain those specific Shadows were but to see them being wiped out so quickly was insane.

"I think it's because of that weird armor all over her body. Doesn't seem like any kind of material that can be found in the Real World or even the Metaverse." The not-cat has seen very peculiar things in the metaphysical plane before but he didn't think whatever material that armor was made from one of them.

"It's not just that. Before she changed, she said 'Let's do this, Shoutmon.' What if Hokuto-san wasn't saying her last name but someone else's?" Ann's words hit her two companions like a truck. Joker had also caught what the platinum blonde and things started to click in his mind.

The thought swirled in his mind whilst sliding under the large blade aimed for his head from the boss Archangel. She wasn't really alone when they had conversed earlier. Hokuto had someone or something alongside her, a Persona perhaps? Could it be…?

Joker glanced at the once human, his eyes widened in mild horror when he saw the Archangel spread out their wings. A warning signal for a powerful attack. "Look out OmniShoutmon!" The dragonoid immediately spotted the aforementioned threat and her response was surprising.

OmniShoutmon stood her ground, a burning yellow aura burst from the brilliant gold armor. "Hamaon!" The angelic shadow pointed his blade at OmniShoutmon, a large blast of bright light erupted the steel straight at her. It was at this point that the observers realized an important detail about the former human's armor.

There was a purpose to those two holes on the chest. "Flamethrower, yeaah!!" Fire burst forth from the chest holes alongside OmniShoutmon's war cry, large golden streams that clashed with the blast of light. Both attacks struggled to swallow the other, a battle of attrition in physical form. Letting out a loud roar, the fire from OmniShoutmon doubled in size as she put more power into the attack.

In seconds did the two blazing streams engulf the light in its entirety before swallowing up the Archangel and their allies in a massive bonfire. With the last bits of fire out of her chest, OmniShoutmon fell to her knee panting roughly.

"*pant* Damn did that asshole have some power. Using Flamethrower like that just takes the air out of your lungs. *whistles*" The dragonoid pants, her eyes now settled on the group of familiar faces. Ren had run up to the former human with Arsene offering his hand so the Persona could help her up.

OmniShoutmon took the assistance without hesitation, a smile on her beak like muzzle. "Thanks big guy. I have a feeling you aren't a Digimon, but I do know that I like those knife heels." The Curse Persona raised a non-existent eyebrow before letting out a hearty laugh.

Ren couldn't help shaking his head albeit agreeing with the statement. That definitely solidified this was indeed Hokuto among some other things. "As much I love to continue this chat, I believe it's best to move it to outside the confines of this castle." Arsene's suggestion didn't go unnoticed to everyone.

It made no sense to stay any further in their current state, plus there were a lot of questions that needed to be answered about their draconic ally rather than just their next possible move. Ren did know one thing, he had a feeling his life was about to get flipped over once more. For good or bad was up to debate.

And that's it. Felt Digimon would suit more into this considering DNA Digivolution, Biomerge and Spirit Evolution is a thing. Hokuto's last name isn't Shoutmon if you hadn't noticed. Last name is undecided at the moment. I did add some personal headcanons than just giving the Persona actual personalities. Persona is in personality after all.

Until next time folks!

[toujourspur13]

What’s so interesting about Sirius Black... apart from the obvious?

Well…I feel obliged to jump into this discussion about Sirius and his family.

I actually think that canon Sirius Black is a good example of multidimensional character with a complex personality (rare thing in hp series)…at least the way JKR wrote him implies some psychological depth (hp is mainly teen literature about friendship - the marauders friendship, the golden trio are all great examples of it - but let’s face it - this literature has a tendency to a very specific narrative - maybe that’s the reason for popular Sirius fanon - I mean…Sirius being part of the Harry’s story is seen through the lens of Harry’s problems). The thing is that usually Sirius is greatly simplified when, in fact, he’s one of the most interesting and complex character in the whole series.

OOTP is the longest hp book - it contains huge amount of text about Sirius’s family incl. RAB who’s indeed very important to the story; and it also contains excessive amount of Walburga Black content. Why excessive? Well because she is not even important to the plot…I mean, at all. Harry (and the whole 7-books journey is Harry’s POV) doesn’t even care about her. But she is important. To Sirius. To the extent that he can barely shut up about her.

And as Sirius’s important to Harry we got all those extra pages about The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

When he’s showing Harry the family tree, he keeps going back to her - she did this and she did that, she removed him, she removed Andromeda, Uncle Alphard…

I saw how he managed to squeeze her in one passage in two different contexts. She’s clearly weighing heavily on his mind. Grunted, he is very angry about everything she did - but can you really disagree that he is super fixated on her.  Frankly speaking, you could’ve expected that he’d be talking so much about James (in Flitwick’s words ‘You’d have thought Black and Potter were brothers’) - but in fact he doesn’t talk a lot about James - it’s his family he seems unable to shut up about. Cross out all his rant and the book becomes significantly shorter. Sirius shows Harry all of his relatives because he wants to.

Remember Araminta Meliflua…his mother’s second cousin?! Is it of any interest to Harry - I doubt it. Harry’s more interested in the Malfoys at the tapestry - but then again Sirius pays little attention to them - and only answers the direct questions. The only one about who he truly doesn’t want to talk in that scene is Bellatrix.

Btw if I remember correctly, he’s even distantly related to the Potters…but for some reason he chose to ignore this. So let’s just say that his thoughts in that scene are clearly one-sided and family-centered.

Even in POA Sirius is mirrored to his mother (we can only understand this after reading the 5th book though) - Sirius slashes the Fat Lady portrait when she refuses him the entry to the Gryffindor Tower - Walburga burns holes in the family tree. Angry management is what they both clearly need. They are so extremely alike that I am almost sure it’s all deliberate and JKR used her as a way to show deeper levels of Sirius’s personality (and not the abusive nature of his childhood).  Loud, high-strung, passionate and very emotional.

Sirius says that he ‘hated the whole lot of them’ and that’s why he ran away and instead of saying something like ‘I got so fed up with my parents lecturing me how I should avoid mudbloods at all the cost/ hate them/ whatever fits the profile of pure-blood maniac’ he says in the next sentence that he was constantly reminded that Regulus was a better son. This is a very jealous remark. It’s pretty obvious that what he wanted is unconditional love - ‘either you take me with all my extreme political views or I’m gone’. The things Sirius says are often contradictory and half-truths and sometimes he just chooses to withdraw certain information at all.

I sometimes come across the strange ideas that JKR tried to parallel Harry’s life with the Dursleys to Sirius’s childhood - I mean, do we really need to go there? You’d be better off trying to parallel him to Big D rather than to Harry. It’s fairly obvious that the odd ideas about Sirius’s abusive childhood are used for the sole purpose of helping him to bond with Remus (in terms of being subjected to physical pain) where he wouldn’t be able to relate to James (you know what popular phenomenon I mean).

Another popular idea - that the 1st year fiasco with Sirius’s Sorting was a big deal. I admit we have very little info about this BUT the fact that he put Gryffindor banners and pictures of  bikini-clad Muggle girls into his room makes me think that the parents were clearly disturbed and disappointed but not to the extent that it became something crucial in their relationship. Clearly Sirius used that as a means to annoy them. To tell you the truth, I find this attempt to go against fanatical blood purists quite feeble and certainly below Sirius Black’s level - it feels more like «hey, mum, look I stick posters of barely-clothed girls on the wall in my room - let’s see what you can do about this».

Btw the interesting thing is that it somehow feels that Sirius’s relationship with his mother (unlike the ones with his father or brother) was the relationship of equals which is odd because she was older and his mother. The explanation for this can be that they were very much alike and she in fact allowed it…maybe (well here I agree that it’s vague and can be just because it’s only the portrait and not the real person but still there is something about this).  And they have this you-hurt-me-now-I’ll-hurt-you-back attitude that implies equality and a certain degree of exclusivity. They both very clearly are not careful with words and actions.

And thus we’ve come to the very touchy subject - her psychotic portrait - her little ‘welcome home’ present. I grant her that - very impressive and colorful vocabulary.

She definitely wanted to be sure that in case Sirius had come home he would never have a moment free from her. Very dramatic.

“Yoooou!” she howled, her eyes popping at the sight of the man.

“Blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh!”

“I said — shut — UP!” roared the man, and with a stupendous effort he and Lupin managed to force the curtains closed again.

They match each other really well. (All the drama aside, if we consider this matter seriously - it’s just a portrait of hers and she was insane and alone for years after she lost everyone. But yeah - pretty nasty thing to do - I agree).

Frankly speaking, her personality isn’t really that significant in this case - it’s more important how Sirius feels about her, the way he can’t let her go. He’s relatively okay in the 4th book while on the run in the cave eating rats and arguing about Crouch, Bertha Jorkins, Karkaroff, Snape etc. But his severe depression in the OOTP clearly has everything to do that he’s locked up in ‘the house of a dying person’ (the very last one from their family) - like in the case of his mother’s true personality we’ll never know for sure what’s that about - Sirius’s real feelings are impossible to decipher - he says one thing - does another - feels maybe something completely different - for all I know, it could be about plenty of things one of which is that seeing her awful portrait, sitting in the rooms where they used to be together is a constant reminder that his family is gone and no matter what he feels and wants, he can’t fix anything about that - it’s all lost for good.

Of course, Sirius wouldn’t like to be there - a man of action trapped in his own past without any hope to ever overcome his unresolved issues with his family. The way he’s fixated on his mother is so intense that it’s almost unhealthy but I guess it’s just the visible (most explicit) tip of the iceberg.

Sirius with his hidden and repressed feelings is a great and very interesting character - he’s so much bigger than just James Potter’s best mate with a cool leather jacket. His relationships with his family is what makes him such a deep character (and not those ideas about how fluffy little angle was magically born in the family of twisted and deranged warlocks - well, it’s a little bit naive). After all it’s an internal conflict that sells the character.

Upd 2020

I think it is worth mentioning that since we’re discussing fictional world and fictional characters it only makes sence what the author implied and what the author did not. Yes, there is no absolute truth because it is all not real but the way character is written usually allows us to make certain assumtions about his or her inner world and motivation. So called ‘canonical evidence’ only matter in terms of what the author wanted to show us. I’ve never had any problems with fanon and headcanon - the only thing that bothers me is saying some things were in the main text when it is explicitly implied that there was nothing of that sort.

[bluemoonpunch]

Regarding spirituality, which stage of conscious awareness has reached each Bangtan member? [anonymous @ bluemoonpunch(.)com]

I thought this was kind of interesting because I haven’t done a reading like this for them in a long time. This is focused purely on the state of their conscious level awareness, which can relate to aspects of the ascension process and their personal integration process, as well as their separation, however, it is more geared towards personal thought process and self-awareness as it relates to the expansion of personal perspective.

Overall, collectively, between the seven of them, there is the 9 of Pentacles which gave me this image of a full basket, like someone just went to the grocery store and filled up a basket and they’re getting ready to check out. They’re not fully out of the store yet, but they have what they need. Their state of mind, their outlooks, are what they need to be right now, their perception of themselves and the world around them are exactly what they need at this current moment. It’s stabilized, it’s grounded, it’s all kind of rooted in and come into bloom as the 9 of Pentacles would suggest, but there is that limited feel to it. Like what blooms will surely wilt, what you have in your basket will surely run out at some point. It’s temporary, as all perspectives, mindsets, and outlooks are, but, again, it’s as it should be right now.

Namjoon — 10 of Cups

This is a massively optimistic outlook, but it’s so massive that it’s like he’s really trying to build it up and maintain it. It feels like he’s trying to paint the picture of the 10 of Cups big enough that it completely blocks out anything else that he may come across or experience. He wants to — I think we all know this — see the bright side of everything, see the potential in everything, and see life in general as this limitless abundance. The 10 of Cups does feel like a dream, it is just Water energy, it’s very internal and emotional, so it does feel like there’s the awareness of this not being “realistic,” as in it’s not something that can be experienced without an effort behind it. The world isn’t just going to suddenly be sunshine in rainbows on its own, there is a conscious level choice to specifically focus on the positive and to find the positive. He’s learning how to do this and, as I mentioned a million years ago in his Elemental Alignment reading, he teaches while he learns, so this is being spread to people that pay attention to what he says and does.

Jin — The Moon

This isn’t that different from what I usually get for him other than that this is very internally focused, or more like it’s externally focused, but from a deeper internal perspective. Usually Jin is kind of looking at everything from above, seeing things and doing things outside of everyone else’s line of sight and from there he operates flawlessly and progresses really smoothly. I kept seeing this as going back and forth between the Sun and the Moon in terms of his perspective. Both are in the sky, both are looking down on everyone and everything else, being observant, but the general energy or mindset from which they look down on everything is very different. In the last like 15 or so readings that I’ve done for BTS, I’ve talked about the integration process and the symbolism of integrating the Sun, or the will of the soul. This is what that is making me think of. The perspective of the Sun is very charged up and will-oriented, very Divine Masculine, while the Moon is more receptive and intuitive, very Divine Feminine. 

Jin is looking at things as he always has, but he’s doing so in a way where it feels like he’s finding more meaning in things that he once only looked at superficially. He’s finding significance in people, places, things, experiences that settle with him on a deeper, more emotional level. He’s taking things in more. “Stop to smell the roses,” is a phrase that comes to mind with this. He’s sort of enjoying the moment, living in the moment, rather than fully being wrapped up in what’s coming next, what he has to do, where he has to go, who he has to be. 

Yoongi — 4 of Cups

This card actually came out two times for him. The first time I was shuffling for his card a whole heap of them flew out onto my desk and the 4 of Cups was the only one upright and I thought that was the card, but I’m like really annoying and refuse to take cards when they’ve been rude and flung a whole stack all around and made a mess. So, I put it back and shuffled again and the 4 of Cups came out again on its own — much more polite. 

This energy feels really weird for Yoongi like it feels… small? Or it feels much more contained than what I’m used to feeling for him, especially considering the last big reading that I did for him in the current state was his External Alignment reading last year which showed his energy to be very strained. Of course, we are just looking at the conscious level perception, so the fact that this feels so small may be because there’s an effort in… shrinking that strain… you know what I mean? Like, the 4 of Cups always hits me in two ways — either someone is trying to meditate and receive something, or someone is being handed something and they’re not aware of it because they’re sleeping, but here it feels more like the 4 of Swords, which is about intentionally allowing yourself to rest and relax, to unwind and drift. With the focus on Water energy here, it feels more intuitive, energetic, spiritual. So, if I were to really force my perspective, it would be like he actually is meditating more, or he’s allowing himself to step back and take a break, or he’s not trying to force himself one way or the other. 

With his energy, a lot of the times, he really pushes and pushes and pushes against certain currents that he’s in, like he’s genuinely got a fighting spirit in that sense, but here there is a conscious level attempt to just not do that anymore. He’s trying to honor his Water energy, honor his natural flow, and kind of let his Fire energy relax a bit. Similar to Jin, it’s just this vibe of not leaving the current position, but approaching the current position from a new lens.

Hoseok — 10 of Swords / Kook — 8 of Swords

Hoseok and Kook have the only “negative” cards in the mix and they’re both of the suit of Swords, both dealing with very conscious level mental energy, logical thought. There’s not a lot of stimulation here to the aspect of communication on either side, it’s very personal and very isolated. They’re both kind sitting in the same space, going through the same process, but because of their different levels of progression as well as maturity and experiences, they are definitely going through the motions of this very differently.

Both sides are purging a lot of old mindsets and outlooks, making room for something new. Hoseok, with the 10 of Swords, is like almost aggressively trying to shift himself consciously into a new frame of mind, but it feels like he’s trying to fit his perception emotionally to what he sees through a more objective lens. I was seeing this as him trying to completely eradicate any mentality that does not align with what he experiences externally, as in getting rid of any self-doubt, insecurity, fear, or resentment that doesn’t fit his experience with his life now with all of his success, both personally and with the group. He’s trying to initiate a complete collapse in his PERCIEVED reality in order to completely see things separate from his emotions — very Aquarius of him. 

Then Kook is over there pulling some Virgo shit, doing the exact same thing, but he’s doing it piece by piece, which seems tedious and annoying because it’s almost like once he puts down one thing to focus on another, the thing he just put down starts to fester again. I was seeing his card, the 8 of Swords, as this process where the woman, is aware that she is blindfolded and bound — bound to limiting mindsets — and so she actually is proactive and tries to get out of it. However, her way of doing this involves her like feeling the swords around her, touching them to see which one is the sharpest or the cleanest, or the whatever. She’s trying to pick which sword to pull out of the ground and use to cut her own bindings even though she could totally just pick one at random and call it a day. 

It’s almost like he doesn’t have the capacity the way Hoseok does to just kind of take everything on at once in terms of internal assessment and clearing, so he has to break things down. He’s doing it as if this is a process of deliberate action, but really this is more like a very slow and tedious process of becoming a bit more self-aware. 

The best way to really show the difference here is to look at the images of the 10 of Swords and the 8 of Swords. They share similar compositions with all 10 or 8 swords being presented stood up vertically across the entire image. The only difference is that in the 10 of Swords, the person is laying horizontally on the ground, stabbed and pinned by all ten swords, while in the 8 of Swords, the person is stood up vertically alongside all of the swords, still blending in with them. It’s almost like Kook is trying to compromise or find an easy method to pulling things out — actually, no that’s what it is.

It’s like Kook is trying to pull the swords out while Hoseok is trying to push the swords in. These are two different methods to which people will approach emotional and mental clearing when it is being initiated consciously. They will either try to simply yank out the issue or the block by the root and release its influence over them, or they will try to integrate the mindset, the experience, whatever in order to understand the purpose or the lesson of it, and from there operate with it from a more positive and beneficial perspective. 

So, yeah, they’re doing the same thing, but with different methods and the matter of maturity or understanding is coming in as this thing where Hoseok has enough self-awareness to know that he has to reset and heal broken bones, while Kook, a bit more lost in the wind, is trying to just amputate a broken limb.

Jimin — 8 of Pentacles / Taehyung — 7 of Pentacles

Just like Hoseok and Kook, Taehyung and Jimin are in the same boat, but they’re actually doing things in a mirrored or balanced process. This could mean that they are in a state of working together to kind of better themselves or they’ve made similar goals in terms of how they want to see themselves and the world around them and they’ve kind of teamed up in a way to help each other do this. It actually seems kind of straightforward and obvious, but I still can’t figure out exactly how to explain it, so I’ll just try to break it down as finely as possible and hopefully, it will just spell itself out.

So, first off, these are both Pentacles, they’re both Earth energy, very physical, very grounded, very superficial. Compared to everyone else, they are very externally focused and driven, but not in a way where it’s like FIRE energy, action-oriented kind of focus. It’s just a hyper-awareness of the physical form or of the superficial aspect of themselves. 

Jimin is there with the 8 of Pentacles. He’s carving his physical form, his superficial presence out. With all of those pentacles, it’s like there’s this sense of trial and error, trying things on, trying on different ways of being in order to see what really fits and what balances between his internalized true self and the external persona that is more for the audience. Then on the other side, you have Taehyung with the 7 of Pentacles, which I was seeing as him having finished his pentacles and already having them on display for people to see as they are, no tampering, no carving, just kind of there. 

For anyone that’s read a lot of my BTS readings where Taehyung and Jimin are featured, perhaps you’ve noticed something interesting. Compared to what they usually project, it’s almost like they’ve switched places. 

Typically, as I’ve seen it for a long time, Taehyung is one to “carve his personality,” — flashback to his Elemental Alignment readings (part 1 + part 2) with all the masks and the split core — while Jimin was always very on display in his readings, to the point where I had to constantly take stuff out of my notes and out of his readings because it was just too “on display,” he’s almost too open to people. They’ve traded that here in this process and now Jimin is trying to carve his persona, while Taehyung is trying to display himself as he is without any tampering. 

Now, with how they operated before with Taehyung having his masks and Jimin being an open and honest beam of light, there was a lot of negative, or just hindering results which caused Jimin to be very receptive to and open for criticism and attack from external influences (hate and shit) while Taehyung was very tightly wound and would only express solid emotion when it was literally too much for him to hold — I said before in a post somewhere that if he’s crying openly and it seems like he’s at a level 4, he’s really at a level 9 in terms of emotional distress. And yes, even tears of joy would be considered distress for him because he would be experiencing an overload nonetheless.

So, they are supporting each other here because they are adopting each other’s methods, but in a way where it balances out their own previous perspectives. When they combine both of those aspects together within themselves as individuals, it becomes open honesty with clear and necessary boundaries, it becomes more healthy in how they understand and express themselves with others.

More Mini-Readings | Celebrity/Idol Readings 

[logray]

i think a large part of the reason people on this web site act like they aren’t allowed to enjoy flawed media at all any more is because tumblr users are largely completely technologically incompetent when it comes to like... piracy

it’s something I started to notice when the mandalorian dropped & many people on my dash were going “god I want to watch this new star wars show so bad but I can’t afford Disney+ 😔😔” and I’ve now seen a few people say they’re upset that they won’t be able to see Mulan AT ALL now that it’s streaming on Disney+ instead of having a cinema release... as if the solution isn’t just to torrent it 30 minutes after it airs. and I thought 18-35 year olds especially grew up on pirating shit (I’ve had plenty of friends who grew up consuming media that way, most of our parents taught us to do it) & seeing how few people on tumblr dot com seem to know that it’s even an OPTION is fucking staggering

and so we put across this very well intentioned & PRACTICAL advice like “we encourage you to continue to consume your favourite media but under a more critical eye & without supporting it financially! for example don’t see any new Wizard Movies in the cinema and don’t buy the blu rays” and the reaction to that from people across EVERY aspect of the political spectrum is “oh so I can never watch a harry potter movie again? guess I’ll fucking kill myself this is why no one takes the left wing seriously” as if that’s what you come to if you follow that advice through to its logical conclusion

but half of the point of becoming more progressive & critical of media is SO that we can continue consuming our favourite media in a more positive & constructive way. rewatch all your old favourite films, now with sociopolitical awareness and an eagerness to identify and discuss bigotry where you find it, and as someone who engages with media through a progressive activist lens. I’m not talking just “I know JK Rowling is racist and transmisogynistic and antisemitic so I am Critical of Harry Potter as a product of her mind, but at least I can watch my $20 blu rays of each movie acting as if that bigotry isn’t implicit in the text and that my own personal meanings that I attached to it are the real ones :)” which is what this fucking website’s users have interpreted it as because they both don’t know how to think critically and also outright refuse to -- no, I’m talking about continuing to enjoy the media (if you really have to I guess lol) but your sociopolitical awareness and your nuanced media lens NEED to affect how you view the art & NEED to affect your enjoyment. like yeah I continued to like Rogue One a lot as a movie after I watched it with my partner and they pointed out that the narrative is racist, but I enjoy it a lot less now! it’s now something that I’ll bring up if I discuss the movie with people! art consumption requires critical thinking and you need to be willing to actively address the bigotry in shit that you love rather than just generally admitting that it’s Flawed but continuing to enjoy it to the exact same extent & in the exact same ways. progressive mindsets aren’t progressive if there’s no... progress. condemning JKR as a transphobe and an antisemite and a racist is fucking futile if you actively continue to pour money down her throat. progressive mindsets needs to have an actual impact! 

I saw a quote a while back saying that it’s actually MORE patriotic to address the problems with your country and think about what needs to change and how it can be fixed, & the same is true for media. I think engaging with your favourite content in that capacity and regarding it in a more complex & nuanced & informed way demonstrates a deeper appreciation of the art and a desire to see it improve. identifying & eliminating flaws (especially wrt bigotry) is an act of improvement, not an act of hostility. wanting your favourite art to reflect a progressive attitude & communicate progressive meanings & themes & stories is not a condemnation of the art, it’s a desire to see the artist do better, or for the media to be taken over by someone who will make it better. it all comes from a place of hope & a place of appreciation 

& so of COURSE we aren’t saying that people need to completely cut their favourite media out of their lives entirely. this type of critical thinking ONLY really works to its fullest potential if you keep engaging with your favourite content, really. we’re just encouraging people to engage with it in ways that aren’t financially beneficial to the bigots responsible for creating bigoted & harmful art -- ie in ways that are FREE. but nobody on fucking tumblr knows what piracy is and thinks the options are A. support it financially or B. eradicate it from your life entirely. and now here we are with everyone refusing to take a closer look at films they like, or identifying it as Problematic Art and thinking that’s enough progressive activism for one little uwu soft fandom baby to do for one lifetime, because they think that identifying actual specific instances of bigotry (and ESPECIALLY identifying it as something which actively makes the art worse) would mean they could never consume it again. it doesn’t help that these people also seem to incorrectly believe that being able to continue uncritically enjoying books they liked when they were 12 is more important than removing media that actively harms real people from the public consciousness anyway, but that’s an issue for another time

god just pirate films and books lol fuck

[trulycertain]

Thoughts on the Netflix Witcher:

Not many people are tossing a coin to their Witcher, are they? Geralt still has to buy his own drinks, it seems.

Jaskier’s lyrics need, er, work, but Joey Batey has a lovely voice. 

Love the wardrobe design, Yen’s in particular. It’s distinctive, not always “pretty” in that it sometimes feels like medieval experimental haute couture, and combines sexuality with hard lines. It feels very her.

I love Freya Allan’s Ciri. Allan’s a really good actress, in my opinion, with a really hard arc to carry, and also apparently show!Ciri has the same effect as games!Ciri - that of me turning into Geralt and muttering “must protect” a lot and wanting to stab anyone who tries to hurt her. Her eyes are very cool.

I think it's interesting that in the books, Yen is clearly based off Polish archetypes and the wild raven curls are part of that; in both the games and the show, it's played down. (Not least because I've seen her in other stuff and Chalotra naturally has pretty poker-straight hair, so curling that for any length of time without the curls falling out, even with a ton of product, would be a pain.) 

My one issue is that I still think she looks a bit young and I would've been perfectly happy to chuck out the whole "sorceresses enchant themselves to look early twenties forever" thing, but actually... I also kind of really like the "soft-faced, soft-voiced enchantress is actually hard as nails" idea. It lets her presence speak for itself, which Chalotra does very well, and means people tend to underestimate Yen, which is also handy. I mean... I will always be frustrated by “somehow, conveniently, they look like a 22-year-old actress and a 35-or-so leading man”, but Chalotra’s work itself is good. It's different from the Yen in my head, but I like her performance and interpretation.

I like Triss, and I like seeing her here. I hope they’ll go more into their friendship. It’s been rocky at times, but I found it quite annoying how the games treated all that, as opposed to the books. This is one of those things where I’m really glad it’s adapting the books in particular.

Critical stuff, written in December, with warnings for discussions of consent and stuff:

The Last Wish is the short story where Geralt and Yen meet, with the capture of the djinn. I read it once, coming up for four years ago? now, so I'm really muzzy on memories and it might well have been like that originally. Now, knowing Sapkowski, who does pull this shit, it probably was. (I love his female characters as characters. It’s just that often, his gender worldbuilding bothers me. The two shouldn’t be different, but they often are.)

All right, so the sexual dynamics going on are... uncomfortable, and perhaps you get a bit inured to it in the books because there's just so much uncomfortable stuff, but it stands out a bit more starkly in the show, which has been better for it. (I do not like rapey canons. At all. I have no idea how I got into the Witcher; really liking the female mains and liking Slavic mythology? And the fact that the games and show were pretty good with how they treated it as part of someone's story rather than a "haha, look, so titillating" on-screen scene? And certainly, Calanthe and her people killing themselves to avoid enslavement, torture and rape is depressingly historically accurate. Anyway.) 

Things I'm bothered by:

The implication that the orgy is basically sex pollen/a possible humiliation tactic, rather than her manouvering her way into circles with everyone's embarrassing secret being "we like to willingly fuck the whole village," which would also have been political humiliation. I mean, you can make a point that she's had a background of being sexually and romantically manipulated most of her adult life - look at the Istredd thing, for a start, with the rectors - and is just shrug about it all, but. It's different from Stregobor's  illusion because these are real people. They all look like they've just come out of a trance and scrabble panickedly for clothes and their reputations, they look like didn't know quite where they were, and spells for that kind of thing had been established an ep or two earlier in the series.

So the first time Geralt and Yen meet, we've got non-con sex played for laughs, or at least played off as "yeah, she does that, don't worry about it" (which is fed into by Geralt's later enchantment, which I actually don't mind, humiliating him and then sending him to hang because he's in the way is somehow less objectionable to me? Maybe because i just hate non-con storylines that much, or maybe because it's less of a direct attack). And then when they meet, you've got: strong-arming him into a bath (sure, he says yes and I guess you can say he figured there'd be sex, but he seems surprised about it all), getting naked in front of him when he's already in a position where it'd be difficult/awkward to leave, the first kiss which has a pretext but was very specifically a kiss and which again, he's kind of too taken-aback/assessing to reciprocate... I mean, if all this sounds kind of OK, swap the genders; heck, even watching it at the time, some of it was pinging me as "hey, this sounds too much like rl things that have happened". 

Now, one can say, "Well, he stuck around, didn't he?" - hmm, OK, but you've got the trickier things of magical intimidation at play (even before the enchantment, he knows he's dealing with a powerful sorceress who fucks with people's heads) and just "eh, I guess I'll go with the flow" that can kind of characterise Geralt. And even Witchers freeze. And you can say, "Well, she could probably tell he was attracted to her, with magical mojo if not just through observation." Aye, but dude was kinda busy and on-duty and clearly mistrustful of her, so he would probably never have acted on it - and didn't, because of all those factors. The later thank-god-we're-alive/angry sex when they actually get it together? Totally fine with that, that seems about par for the course with those two.

I also feel like the fact that Geralt, who I fondly say is the biggest horndog in Temeria a lot of the time and will rarely turn down a bit of afternoon delight, doesn't make a move and stays questioning her, albeit amusedly, says a lot about where their relationship is at that point and the fact he's still trying to figure her out. (Not that that implies he's not interested; quite the opposite, mistrustful boffing is kind of a thing he does at times, and heck, look at Renfri.) And on Yen's part, it's definitely more of a power play than needing to save bathwater (I mean, she's pretty rich). 

Now, as said, the original story was prob at least a bit like this, because Sapkowski *eyeroll*, but considering the amount they changed (Istredd's entire backstory! A whole bunch of Yen’s! Yennefer's transformation! A bunch of other things), they could've probably adjusted this and/or at least put a different lens on it in the script. It's also frustrating because a lot of people I've seen make this argument are using it for "Yen is such a bitch, Geralt deserves better, I hate her." I'm not interested in char-bashing.  No, I love games!Yen (one of my favourite characters in... anything) and what of books!Yen I've read, and I really enjoy Chalotra's version... aside from these scenes. 

And aye, one can say that Geralt/Yen is about two people who've been shaped by a truly awful world learning to be better and of course they have their flaws (uh, completely ignoring consent is a pretty darn large one), but it's definitely played as intriguing/romantic/casual mischief. 

Update, as of January, when I went back to it:

I literally love every single other scene with her. Hmm. Also, I’ve spoken to a couple of people about this, and neither one of them had it ping to them as coercion. Perhaps I’m just overthinking things or not being good at romance storylines again.  Just... not sure, I guess. Nothing else bothered me. Is this my books knowledge being wonky? Am I being daft? If anyone else has thoughts, I’d be glad to hear them.

[meta-shadowsong]

Some Thoughts on Mandalorian Religion/Culture

Basically, this post exists because The Mandalorian got me thinking some about the culture, particularly as relates to the Mandalorian Civil War, and how that reflects certain IRL religious movements and upheaval. This has been percolating in the back of my head for a few weeks, actually, and this seemed like a reasonable time to write it all out, now that at least the first season is over. There are brief spoilers involved for the season finale.

Which means it’s time for a Long Complicated Metaphor! (Not the road-building one about Anakin and his fall, though I really should write that up properly and share that here, too, but y’know.)

Basically, I’m going to talk a little bit about how, as I see it, some of the Mandalorian Civil War issues parallel the Protestant Reformation, particularly in England, leading up to the English Civil War and Interregnum.

(As a note--from what I recall, the Amarna period in ancient Egypt is also a good parallel; maybe even a better one. But since I’m significantly less well-read on the subject and what reading I have done was a very long time ago, I’m sticking with the English Reformation analogy for the purposes of this essay.)

So, it has been a while since I’ve done some in-depth reading on this subject, both the general history and the specific religious/church history. If you’re interested in the church history side of things, I’d actually recommend Cromwell to Cromwell--it got a little dry for me, especially since I didn’t read the summary carefully enough and thought it was going to be a little more biographical than it ended up being, but it is still a solidly researched book on the subject in question.

Anyway, the point is, I’m going off of memory from something I read about/researched a few years back, as well as my general background knowledge of the subject/period, so please forgive any slight inaccuracies as I build up my metaphor/essay/point.

So, to start with, some background of why I’m viewing this through a religious lens, based on some things we’ve seen in the TV show. Obviously, there is the fact that Din Djarin specifically refers to this as a creed/religion in the first couple episodes. However, that’s not…super-well defined, other than it is analogous to a religion. But in terms of specific details--

First, there’s the helmet thing, which I know has been brought up by other commentators as well--this is the Way, we don’t take off our helmets for any reason unless we’re stepping off this path.

If we view combat as Mandalorian religion, in the organized/Western religion sense, this actually makes a lot of sense to me. In this reading, our titular friend from the show about baby Yoda is, essentially, a priest (or possibly a monk; or more likely a friar since he’s a wanderer and not cloistered even if the rest of his covert might be, but that’s probably a little too nitty-gritty for an essay on this level; for analysis purposes, I’m just going to go with ‘priest’). Priests are subject to stricter vows, and while laypersons can (and indeed are expected to) perform certain religious duties/offices, priests have greater responsibilities and restrictions. Like prayer, only instead of rosaries and Christmas, Mandalorians have blasters. And flamethrowers. And occasionally jetpacks. Etc.

(Obviously, not a perfect analogy, in the same way that comparing the PT-era Jedi to monks or priests is not a perfect analogy, but it’s a reasonably convenient one.)

Anyway, this explains why Mandadlorian and the other members of his covert/group won’t take their helmets off, but we’ve seen a variety of Mandalorians do so before--all of the Wrens, Bo-Katan and her close allies, various other members of Death Watch (though not all)…it’s part of something akin to a clerical vow.

Which brings us back to the Civil War, and the IRL parallels.

So, the English Reformation--yes, a large part of what kicked it off was Henry VIII being…well…Henry VIII about things, but there was a lot of back and forth beyond the Great Matter/Divorce, and Lutheranism, Calvinism, and other Protestant movements had some level of foothold at varying levels of society. In terms of actual doctrine and practice, the Church of England varies quite a bit during the reigns of the later Tudors (with Edward VI being pretty hard-core Protestant, Mary I bringing England back to Rome, and then Elizabeth I being more moderate than her brother), so it’s not a straightforward question. Eventually, Protestantism wins out, but it’s a half-century or so of minor upheavals and doctrinal shifts, much like in the rest of Europe during this period.

Again, I recommend Cromwell to Cromwell for more detail about the specifics, but by the time we get to the 17th century and the Stuarts, we’re sort of starting to see a split between the Puritans (who stayed in England with the intent of making the English Church more fundamentalist, rather than the ones who left and settled in Holland and the Americas, who would be better referred to as Separatists) and the more elaborate High Church. There were other sects/factions, and other/secular/political factors that led to the Civil War, of course, but that was the gist of the religious one.

Which brings me to Satine and the New Mandalorians. Who, in this case/analogy, are similar to the Reformers (eventually, Puritans).

Which might sound weird, given that we’ve established that the Mandalorian culture/religion in this context is All About Combat, but hear me out.

We don’t know exactly what went on with the New Mandalorians forming and building steam, but I highly doubt that Satine came up with the idea on her own--they were a radical movement to reform Mandalorian religion and culture that she gravitated to, and eventually made official/the law of the land when she and her faction won the Civil War and she took power in Sundari. We don’t know where her parent(s) fell on this spectrum, if they were hardline traditionalists or fairly neutral moderates or mild reformers (I doubt they were hardline reformers), or essentially traditionalists in terms of their personal beliefs/doctrine but making serious reformer steps for unrelated political and/or personal reasons (a la Henry VIII).

The point is, much like the more radical Reformation politics and philosophies as put forward by Edward VI and, later, Oliver Cromwell and the Roundheads, Satine is operating in a larger context and, however devoted she is to this movement, she probably didn’t found it.

The reason I think she lines up with the Puritan model is that the New Mandalorian philosophy is an extremely stripped-down version of the approach-to-combat religion/culture. Basically, New Mandalorian philosophy takes away the fancy trappings and asks “what exactly does it mean to have this faith?” She says to Obi-Wan at one point, “just because I’m a pacifist doesn’t mean I won’t defend myself.” What her philosophy is asking--maybe; possibly; I’d love more canon context but this is a reasonable reading of the text IMO--is “our faith is combat, but does combat need to be physical? Do we need to continue to kill each other and spill the blood of our kin as well as outsiders, or are there other ways to fight?” After all, Satine is extremely combative; she just doesn’t use weapons or overt violence when she fights for what she believes in.

So, again. Stripping away all the fancy trappings to get back to the core of the belief--only instead of gold and icons and stained glass (and Christmas), it’s blasters and flamethrowers and occasionally jetpacks. And whips. And so on. (…I feel like Mandalorian Christmas involves a lot of blasters…)

This was all probably reinforced by her experiences on the run with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan during the Civil War itself; but that’s something I’m going to at least partially cover in our faces like a mirror. The fic focuses more on Bo-Katan and why she makes her choices in all this, but Satine’s personal worldview is obviously profoundly shaped by her experiences during that year, and is, of course, a key part of all of this.

(As a side note, Bo-Katan, in this analogy, is soooooort of related to either Mary I or Charles II--although I tend to read her as a younger sister/there’s no succession dispute involved. But the Traditionalist heir in exile; with a level of devout belief that’s more aligned with Mary than with Charles; although she’s a bit more willing to compromise until she can’t anymore, and then seems to have found a more moderate approach when she’s in power/after she leaves Death Watch? We’ll see what the relevant TCW episodes have to say. Also, I would love to see her show up in season 2 of The Mandalorian or some other live-action thing (maybe the Obi-Wan series?); still played by Katee Sackhoff as is only right and proper. Just getting that out there.)

[Also, given the way s1 of The Mandalorian ended--I fear for my girl Bo-Katan and am even more interested in seeing her in something live-action/post-Rebels D:]

…yeah, this felt like I had more of a Point when I got started, lol. I guess what I’m trying to say is--a lot of seeming inconsistencies in worldbuilding about Mando culture make a lot more sense when viewed as a religion, with a variety of sects and interpretations and relative levels of devotion, particularly in parallel with IRL religious movements. And while Satine’s aesthetic is an homage to Elizabeth I, her politics/role as a hardline Reformer in power are more aligned with Edward VI or Oliver Cromwell. It’s just…an interesting way of looking at things, I think? One I figured was worth sharing.

[starberry-cupcake]

Overall thoughts on Les Mis BBC

I decided, after all those summaries I made, to write what I hope can be a more coherent opinion on what I thought of the adaptation as a whole. I wanted to make sure to state that my critical reactions weren’t for entertainment purposes only or exaggerated for the fun of it but based on real concerns I’ll expand in this post. This is like the “serious companion”, if you will. 

I don’t know if anyone cares about it at this point, but I feel that even though my summaries helped me go through the immediate frustrations in a (mostly) lighthearted way, it’s the distance from having watched it all what gave me a little bit more clarity to order my thoughts. 

I’ve established my opinion isn’t worth a damn, I’m not smart or knowledgeable enough for this fandom and, needless to say, these are all my personal opinions, take them with a grain of salt or a bathtub of it. I’m a worthless nobody and my words have no value, but the internet is still (sort of) free, so here I go.  

Introduction: the initial news, Andrew Davies & the PR mess

BBC announced the adaptations of 2 media phenomenons which started as books that I love so much I’m considering tattoos of both. And, for both of them, my main concerns were on the person adapting the script. 

On the one hand, there’s His Dark Materials, a book series that made me the person I am today, pretty much. One of the directors is none other than Tom Hooper (what are the odds) and the script adaptation was in the hands of Jack Thorne. Cursed Child Jack Thorne. Yeah, not thrilled about that. 

Surprisingly enough, His Dark Materials was given a projection of 3 possible seasons, rather than just one, the 3rd hasn’t been yet confirmed but the fact that the script was made thinking on one season per major book on the series, and that each season has 8 episodes planned, at least gives me a bit of hope, even if the person adapting it isn’t in my favorites list. 

Les Mis, on the other hand, went to the hands of Andrew Davies, another person I don’t trust. 

I’m one of those folk who was never too fond of the ‘95 version of Pride and Prejudice, mainly because of how Darcy was made into a sort of sex symbol, where his flaws were seen as “attractive marks of broody character” rather than vulnerability and with gratuitous sexualizing fanservice. I know a lot of people love it for that and that’s cool, you do you, but it’s not for me. 

Then, when he adapted War and Peace, he talked about adding more sex to it and had the Kuragin siblings shown explicitly sleeping together from the get-go in episode 1 and that’s when I stopped watching (there were other things I didn’t like but that one was my limit). 

To make matters worse, it made me weary that Les Mis was getting an overall amount of only 6 episodes whereas HDM was getting a potential 24-ish. That was an odd choice. 

So, as you can guess, I knew coming in that Davies writing the script, a script with a limited time-frame for the story, was a huge risk. 

But, on the other hand, as the cast was announced, I got excited. Especially for people like Archie Madekwe, Turlough Convery, Erin Kellyman and some famous actors like David Oyelowo. Their filming logs on social media, how nice they all were and how much fun they had filming made me happy. I felt that maybe these great folks could turn around whatever the scrip had to disappoint me. 

But then came all the PR stuff. 

The more I read Davies & co. talking about the show, the less hope I had for it. Talking very badly about the musical and the 2012 movie, calling female characters “not complicated”, insulting Cosette, saying that Javert’s lack of explicit heterosexual sex in the brick was reason enough to push a homosexual narrative centered on an unhealthy behavior, patting themselves on the back for having a diverse cast as if no other adaptation of Les Mis had ever done it before...even their talks about Fantine’s make up made me weary. And, let’s not forget their ridiculous insistence on not having songs. 

By the time the show premiered, my hopes had dwindled. The excitement I had upon knowing there would be another Les Mis adaptation so soon, a BBC one at that, and with a cast I had hopes for, was blurred by all the nonsense of PR and I was more afraid than hopeful. 

In the end, after having watched it completely, and as you can see for my summaries, I was heavily disappointed. I’ll try to list some of my biggest concerns, in no particular order. 

I can’t be super extensive about it, because there are a lot of points to go over, but there are a lot of amazing opinion pieces out there about specific issues, so you don’t need me for that. 

Anyway, let’s delve into some of my biggest problems with BBC Les Mis.

Problem #1: The portrayal of femininity

Solely by the fact that Davies stated that women on Les Mis “are not terribly complicated” you know that things are not going to go all too well on that front. 

I’m going to pick 3 characters to showcase how badly women were portrayed in this: Fantine, Cosette and Éponine. I’ll leave other characters for another section. 

1. Fantine

I’ve talked about Fantine before, upon receiving some questions on my summaries, but I’ll try to explain it all in a more understandable way. 

The lens in which Fantine was seen was sexist from the get-go. The way in which the story was framed made the audience complicit in the choices she was making, choices that were negatively regarded by the narrative perspective alone. Her “fall to disgrace” was framed as her own decisions being incorrect, silly mistakes that were easily avoidable, and never regarded as the result of living in a society that was unable to contain her and see her as a valid human being. But we’ll get to that when we talk about the politics (or lack thereof) on this show. 

Like I said in my response before, the way in which Fantine is portrayed, even in the musical itself, varies greatly performance to performance. Patti LuPone performing I Dreamed a Dream after Fantine gets dismissed isn’t like Anne Hathaway performing it after she has become a prostitute and neither carry the same implications as Allison Blackwell in the Liesl Tommy’s Dallas modern production, influenced by her experience in apartheid South Africa. 

Still, the key element to developing Fantine’s portrayal, when it comes to sexism and the showcasing of her environment, has two layers: the actual oppression showcased in the source material and the contemporary interpretation or lens in which an adaptation will view it. 

In this version, Fantine’s character was toned down in her attitude. She was less reactive than in the brick, a lot more passive, a lot more of a tragic figure, which paired up with the fact that this adaptation covered her entire “fall to ruin”, from meeting Tholomyès onward, made her a victim of everything that happened to her. 

A victim of her own bad decisions, though, not of a social context that was failing her. 

But the worst part is in how the focus of the show is placed. You can have Fantine being a summarized version of herself, with less spunk, and still showcase through her that the circumstances she was in were permeated by an escalating force of social disadvantage and oppression. 

This adaptation made, like I said, the audience complicit in Fantine’s decisions as if she was a princess in a movie, unaware of the threats she was getting herself into by her own naive foolishness. 

Tholomyès is blatantly shady, clearly dishonest, not at all charming or in any way trustworthy and Fantine gets a “voice of reason” on a friend who tells her various times that he will eventually leave. There are a lot of red flags, blatant for the audience, that Fantine chooses to dismiss. The show focuses less on why Fantine trusted Tholomyès and more on her making a clear bad choice we all knew was doomed from the start. 

This becomes a problem once again when she chooses to leave Cosette with the Thénardiers. They are very clearly shady, very blatantly aggressive and ready to take advantage of her, visibly manhandling Cosette in front of her and asking for more money on the spot, and Fantine again naively ignores all of this. 

They do it again when she enters employment in Montreuil. She talks to Valjean himself in this version, and is asked repeatedly and with kindness if she has a family. The scene makes it seem as if she could have easily told the truth, especially because we were previously given a scene in which Fantine hears a speech talking about how Valjean is the Best Person Ever and could potentially help her. Still, she chooses to repeatedly lie and the show makes it seem less for necessity and more for a sense of pride of some sort. 

(Also, as a foreshadowing of creepy Valjean to come, there are some insinuations from her co-workers that she could seduce Valjean, which is confusingly placed and awkwardly added where it is.)

Then, after she’s dismissed, there’s a man in a post office who asks her, after receiving letters from the Thénardiers (to which she reacts a lot more passively than in the brick), why she doesn’t bring Cosette to live with her, in a condescending tone, as if he was stating the obvious. Fantine responds again as if she was doing it out of pride. The same man is the one to suggest her to start selling her body and then tell her she should have done it before selling her hair and teeth because “nobody would pay for her after that”. 

Every turn we’re met with ways in which Fantine’s decisions are seen as foolish in the eyes of the viewer. It’s like Blue’s Clues or Dora the Explorer when they ask stuff to the audience for the kids to say they shouldn’t do something. It’s patronizing as fuck, is what it is. And, yes, sexist. 

These narrative choices are sexist because they erase most of the social and political situation which made Fantine vulnerable in the first place, to push the tragic drama as if she was a victim of being “too naive”. It’s sexist because it makes the audience know from the get go that what Fantine is doing is a “bad choice”, easily avoidable mistakes that whoever writes is smart enough to sense are bad but poor naive Fantine can’t understand. 

It isn’t just that she’s called a whore a lot of times, that she’s smashed against walls and the ground hard enough that Lily Collins was actually hurt, that she’s shown explicitly being used by a patron on the street. It’s that all of it is done with the added layer of her having “chosen wrong”. That everything is framed as the consequences of actions that the narrative voice, as well as the audience, are smart enough to know are wrong, but poor little Fantine can’t handle.

Like many things in this adaptation we’ll see later, Fantine’s journey is framed more like the tragic end of a woman who didn’t know how to choose right and was punished for said choices rather than the result of an unfair society which didn’t allow women any freedom to choose and didn’t see them as worthy human beings. 

2. Cosette

When Andrew Davies called Cosette a “pretty nauseating character” in need of change, I knew I was up against one of those people. 

Cosette is probably one of the most underestimated female characters in literature, and adaptations tend to do her dirty very often. I’m not even fond of her interpretation in the musical all that much, which goes in tow with the interpretation of Éponine. I’ve seen my fair share of men on youtube claiming Gavroche should be the face of Les Mis rather than Cosette, I’ve received my fair amount of messages claiming she’s The Worst, I’ve seen it all. 

This adaptation does with Cosette something that, out of context, I would have thought impossible. They manage to somehow attempt to make her more “active” (they would call it “strong” but I have problems with that denomination) while making her even more of a helpless victim. It’s a pretty impressive oxymoron. 

Let’s begin with little Cosette. 

This adaptation does something very weird in that it only showcases Cosette’s storyline as a child when it serves other characters, but then intends to build upon the abuse by mentioning it or making it clear that adult Cosette remembers it well. 

So we see Cosette when she’s important to Fantine’s storyline, the Thénardiers’s storyline or Valjean’s storyline, but not much about her on her own, aside from one time she’s looking at dolls and another time when she’s being beaten up by Madame Thénardier, which could be also a moment for the Thénardiers and not solely for Cosette’s narrative. 

What I mean with this is that the view on her is reduced to a side character rather than a main one and, with that, her perspective on her own abuse isn’t taken into account. You don’t know how Cosette feels about things, you don’t see her perspective on it, you only see what others do to her but never get to see her side of it. For all the musical erases of her narrative, at least they give her Castle on a Cloud. 

It’s with little Cosette where we start to see this weird sense of sexually charged perception towards her relationship with Valjean. 

For some inexplicable and highly alarming reason, it’s implied by various witnesses in different occasions that Valjean’s intentions with Cosette may be inappropriate, and I would have let it slide as just people thinking The Worst out of living in a social context in which The Worst is most often the truth, hadn’t that perception carried throughout the series and mixed with Valjean’s erratic and possessive characterization. 

When Cosette grows up, she gains a bit more focus, but she also starts to be charged a lot more sexually. 

Both Cosette and Éponine are sexualized and objectivized in this adaptation. This will be addressed later, but most often than not this sexualization acts as an accessory to a narrative about masculinity. 

Cosette’s virtue, beauty and body are talked about and even exposed in various moments. They tell her she can’t be a nun because that would be “a waste of her beauty”. In that dreadful scene in the dress shop I talked about in summary 4, the shop assistant again implies that Cosette is Valjean’s lover and lets him see her in undergarments through the curtain, with clear intentions. Valjean’s erratic persona is intent on separating her from Marius, explicitly telling her he’s worried that she will be taken advantage of by men, bringing up Fantine’s history to her with that in mind, while putting her in danger and in the company of the Thénardiers again, in more than one occasion. 

Adult Cosette has visible signs of the trauma she suffered, which is an interesting direction to go. I haven’t seen an adaptation taking such a big route on her remembering her past abuse, and is a change that worked in performance, Ellie did some great visible responses like covering herself when Valjean wakes her up or going fight or flight every time she sees Thénardier. She is visibly upset when Marius gives him money and looks both angry yet still hesitant when she sees the man for the last time. 

But all that kind of loses its importance when the men around her not only don’t give a shit but also do their worst. 

Valjean manhandles her, harms her even, pushes her to the limits of her emotional state by taking her to see the prisoners intentionally after she mentioned prison, acting more possessive than caring and more erratically violent than conflicted and concerned. 

Marius has a somewhat wet dream about her and then again dreams with her in confusing ways when he’s out of the barricade, with his grandfather talking about her as if she’s a piece of meat even after he meets her and she’s right in front of him. 

They tried to make Cosette more aggressive, I think, more reactive, which in some moments worked. But when the lens in which she’s viewed is objectivizing, when she’s being commented on, offered and treated as an object, then it isn’t enough. It makes it worse, actually. 

I’m sorry for Ellie, though, she did good. 

3. Éponine

Much like Cosette, Éponine’s childhood was all but a few cameos. It’s very often that adaptations try to “tone down” Éponine in order to pull a narrative of her as an underdog in a love triangle, the “friendzoned” girl who tragically dies. The musical does that, for example. 

Some of Éponine’s most controversial actions in the brick tend to be most often deleted or changed, except for adaptations in which she’s an “enemy” to Cosette’s narrative of a classic heroine. 

It isn’t easy to find adaptations that are able to make Éponine showcase the complexity of her canon character not as a problem but as what makes her character so good and important in the overall story. Hey, even fandom sometimes tends to romanticize Éponine as if she had to be “redeemed” in order to be seen as a worthy character (but that happens a lot with female characters in general). 

Éponine doesn’t exist for Marius’s narrative, as the other girl in a love triangle, or for Cosette’s narrative, as an enemy, she’s her own character with her own reason for existing and complex human dynamics that are extremely permeated by the social circumstances she’s immersed in and represents. 

I’d say this adaptation is on the group that uses her for Marius’s storyline.

Added to that, it’s one of the worst I’ve seen on that case, because in this one, Marius is complicit of Éponine’s intentions, which are sexualized to a degree I don’t feel comfortable with. 

We’ll talk a bit more about the Marius side of things later, but for Éponine, it meant she was reduced to a character that exists to sexually awaken Marius rather than a tragic figure on her own or even a piece of a love triangle. So, basically, this is the worst I’ve seen in a while. 

This is clearly seen in that interview when Davies explained why he added that “wet dream” scene, saying:

“One of the best things Hugo does is to have Eponine tease Marius with her sexiness because he is a bit of a prig. So I have introduced a scene where Marius, even though he is in love with Cosette, has a wet dream about Eponine and feels rather guilty about it. I think it fits into the psychology of the book.” Source

Let’s leave out the part where he considers that to be “one of the best things Hugo does” because I cannot deal with that right now. Let’s focus on the other bit.

Like this quote suggests and I said before, Éponine was rather reduced to a tool for Marius’s sexual awakening. In this version, it isn’t only the “wet dream” which precedes more crucial interactions between Marius and Éponine, there’s also a scene where she strips for him through the hole in the wall and another where Courfeyrac is commenting on her and Azelma as Marius moves into the building for the first time. 

By the time Marius gives her his money and any sort of bond can occur, it’s evidently clear in this version that Éponine has been teasing Marius and he is fully aware of it. He looks at her through the peep hole licking his lips and then has that disturbing dream where she’s kind of forcing him onto her in a very questionable way. 

So, this Marius is by no means unaware of the fact that Éponine was attracted to him in some capacity and has played along her seduction, which makes his dismissal of her and his request for her to find Cosette a lot like he is using her for his own gain and replacing her for another girl. 

Éponine’s attitude, much like Cosette’s, tries to be more active at times. She’s confrontational to her parents, seems protective of Azelma and is pleased to see her mother stuck in jail. 

However, much like with Cosette, any kind of agency is compromised for having her narrative be serving a male character’s development rather than her own. Her involvement in the barricade is also somewhat modified but, by that time, her journey has already been substantially affected. 

Much like Ellie, Erin was a very good Éponine when she was allowed to perform at her best and I wish she had been involved in an adaptation that was able to portray Éponine with more justice. 

I’ll talk a bit more about women on the show in general in problem #3 but, for now, let’s move on. 

Problem #2: The portrayal of masculinity

1. Javert

I am not the best person to write an essay on Javert, there are a lot of people more capable than me for that, and I may be called out for this and mess everything up, but I can’t write overall opinions without mentioning my issues with his characterization, at least summarized. 

Javert is a complicated character. He is, as much as everyone else, affected by the circumstances and a man who goes through a huge emotional impact and sees his values questioned and compromised. His and Valjean’s journeys have a lot in common, in different ways and with different outcomes. 

Sadly, Javert tends to be seen as a villain in a lot of adaptations. It’s a way to simplify the plot in the way movies tend to do: something is defined by what the other isn’t, if Valjean is the protagonist, then Javert must be his antagonist. I was worried that this version was going to fall into that trap, because of time restraint and Davies’s tendencies of simplifying complex characters. 

Javert’s characterization was erratic, much like Valjean’s. His attitude was blurred by fits of rage and moments of confusing violence, followed by charged pauses in strange cadences which tended to fluctuate. I don’t think his attitude was as all-over-the-place as Valjean’s, but it was certainly not as well defined as other Javerts I’ve seen through the years. 

This Javert, however, had a choice made for him that separates him from other versions: 

Over tea in central London, Davies tells me that he was surprised to discover that, in Hugo’s 1862 novel, neither character [Javert or Valjean] mentions any sort of sexual experience, leaving the 82-year-old screenwriter wondering, at least in the case of Javert, whether it was indicative of a latent homosexuality. Source 

There is a lot to unpack there. 

First, there’s this idea of masculinity in which the lack of explicit heterosexual intercourse in canon is directly representative of homosexuality. I’m not gonna delve a lot in the brick but there are a good bunch of characters you can easily read as gay. Hell, there’s that whole thing going on with comparing Enjolras and Grantaire to greek couples. And if you want to write Javert as gay, go ahead, there’s a lot of fanfiction out there who is with you on that and I’m here for all interpretations, no problem at all.   

But if you’re going to take that route, you need to be careful with your optics. 

This Javert is, at the end of the day, in this adaptation, a gay man of color. He is also explicitly obsessed with Valjean in a way that exceeds his sense of justice. He looks at him undress in prison, is all over his personal space while he’s in chains and later interrogates him believing Marius is his lover, clearly attempting Valjean to confess to him if he was. He receives a lot of comments from an officer who touches him and looks at him strangely in the last episode, prompting an immediate rejection from him. 

Everything points to Javert’s homosexuality being in the plot only as a further motivator for his need to capture Valjean, which makes for both a problematic portrayal of predatory homosexuality and a subsequent narrative of police abuse, both very problematic aspects to portray through a gay man of color. The way he acts and the way in which people act around him make it seem like his obsession with capturing him is fueled by the fact that Valjean represents his closeted feelings and that is all kinds of messed up. 

He is also clearly not as involved in other aspects of the law as he is in capturing Valjean, since Thénardier ends up being a secondary worry to him, even explicitly knowing he has been mistreating and abusing a child, and he also explicitly doesn’t care about his achievements or the ones of his other officers as long as Valjean is on the loose. He lets Thénardier escape prison on his watch and doesn’t take care of it himself, prioritizing Valjean. 

It isn’t about what happens in canon or not but in how all of this, in this version, is framed under this idea that Javert is also gay and has an obsession with Valjean that seems predatory in part, rather than fueled by his beliefs. And that is a dangerous optic to write a gay character under. Especially a police officer who is also a man of color. 

I’m not the one to talk about that, it’s not my experience to tell and I’m not going to speak over those whose experience this is, but as a content creator, I’d question if my need to diversify is stepping over the lines of problematic aspects that may ill represent the identities I’m trying to integrate. Just saying.

David’s performance hits some very good moments, especially when Javert starts contemplating suicide. That is a very important scene in every adaptation and a very amazing chapter in canon and David does well in performing the turmoil in Javert’s decision. They also add, as a voice in off, the notes he left to improve the service, which is a great touch. 

But, much like the other characters I mentioned, his performance is blurred by these writing choices in which Javert has been added this sort of predatory sense in which Valjean in jail symbolizes also keeping his identity hidden away. Davies would probably say his “desires” because that’s the kind of guy he is. 

I hope my opinion isn’t overstepping anyone’s voice and I’ll leave the further of this discussion to someone more appropriate, but I felt it was an important matter to include and something we all, as media consumers, must pay attention to. 

2. Marius

I had higher hopes for this boy, I really did. 

The good thing this adaptation does for Marius is give him a bit more room than others do. They touch more on his relationship with his father and his grandfather, they bring up the Thénardier connection to his dad, they introduce Mabeuf, and they bring him on as a kid in the beginning, which even though questionable in comparison to him having more development as a child than Cosette and Éponine, at least helped to introduce him as another key character of the whole story. 

I had hopes that this earlier introduction, albeit unfairly unbalanced with Cosette’s and Éponine’s, would allow for his character to develop more strongly, especially since politics were very present in his conversations with his grandfather and the ideals of his dad. I thought that by introducing politics through Marius that would allow his connection to Les Amis de l’ABC be more profound when the moment for revolution came. 

Yeah, no, that didn’t happen. 

Les Mis is a book where people are the heart and soul of it. With that in mind, characters aren’t like each other, they aren’t repetitions of the other’s attitude, they are diverse reflections of the complexity of humanity. The portrayal of masculinity in characters like Javert, Valjean, Gavroche or each individual member of Les Amis aren’t the same between each other, and neither are the same as Marius’s. 

Marius represents a very wide emotional spectrum. He’s sensitive and vulnerable, passionate and driven, but at the same time can take action into his own hands when he has to and fight, even at the cost of his own life. There are layers in Marius. Like a Rogel cake. 

I don’t want to generalize but a problem I have often with older male writers is that they see emotional complexity as weakness, especially when it comes to the portrayal of masculinity. There’s this idea in which something that is undefined or conflicting isn’t “strong” enough and therefore requires forcing. 

Remember that quote I brought up for Éponine’s characterization? we’re going back to that. To Davies calling Marius “a prig” in need of being seduced. 

Like I said, this version made Marius complicit in Éponine’s advances and aware of her sexually charged intentions, and this was made in an attempt to “upgrade” Marius’s masculinity and make him “less of a prig”. Because in order to be a Man, Marius needs to objectivize women. Apparently.  

Like I mentioned, the gesture of Marius giving Éponine the little money he had ended up being a lot less effective by the fact that he had already fantasized about her more than once, and with her knowing that. He is taken to a brothel by Courfeyrac and Grantaire in which women pretty much throw themselves at him while he looks for Cosette. The “wet dream” he has is a very eerie combination of idealization and assault, in which Éponine, taking Cosette’s place, forces him onto her (much like Davies is forcing this onto Marius).

It isn’t about sex or eroticism being introduced to Marius’s storyline, is that they appear forced and almost violently thrust upon him in order to validate him in this idea of masculinity the adaptation seems to have, which seems to be very narrow. 

And, with that in mind, we’ll move on to the last bit of this section.

3. Valjean

I am unable to write a piece about how many layers of wrong this Valjean embodied. 

There are a lot of good tumblr scholars and Les Mis experts talking about it already, they can explain better than I ever could, but we need to, at least, try to glimpse at the mess this was, because this is a post on problems and this was a major one. 

There are a lot of interpretations of Valjean, some of which are astronomically awful. He’s a character that can be easily fucked up, maybe because he also represents a very complex range of emotions, a very wide spectrum of masculinity, and is inserted in a wide variety of social contexts and spheres during his lifetime, which permeate his way of living as well as his agency to do things. 

Any adaptation of Les Mis from the get go starts with the challenge of representing all of this in a limited time frame and with a limited perspective. It’s very difficult to translate not only all of this complexity but also all the thoughts the narrator can rely, all the feelings and conflicts and internal turmoil that we can get from the book because it’s written. 

The musical, in that sense, has some elements from its medium that help, like the soliloquies, the changes of key, the ability for characters to bear their souls through song without interrupting the believability of the story. 

Representing Valjean without a medium that allows a peek inside his head is a big challenge. He is a character whose turmoil is most often interior, so showcasing that externally poses difficulty. 

Still, you can’t fuck up this much, my dude.  

I’ve seen bad Valjeans in my life, this one is...complicated. He’s not good, don’t get me wrong, but he isn’t as clear-cut godawful as others I’ve seen, he’s too erratic to be easily described. 

I think this adaptation tried to showcase complexity through visible emotional distress and physical violence. Instead of having a soliloquy or symbolism, we have Valjean shouting or screaming or burning his hand with a coin and staring at it for a while or shouting at nuns or carrying Cosette by force so hard her arm is in pain. 

Everything gets even more confusing when everyone around him treats him weirdly. 

You get years of exposition clumsily thrown at you via a speech Fantine hears when she arrives at Montreuil and he’s been elected. You get girls looking at him naughtily and suggesting Fantine to try to seduce him. You get inkeepers and Thénardier suggesting his intentions with child Cosette aren’t appropriate. You get women in dress shops thinking his intentions with young adult Cosette aren’t appropriate. You get Javert thinking his intentions with Marius aren’t appropriate. Everyone wants to talk about Valjean’s sex life or something, I don’t know. 

His attitude towards Cosette is also muddled by this erratic behavior and the very strange way in which he sees her and Fantine. 

He is visibly more worried about men taking advantage of her, of “defiling” her, than other dangers she could be in, like his identity being found out by the police or her falling in the hands of the Thénardiers again. He forcibly removes her from Marius’s presence and has a fight with her about it that ends on him taking her to see the prisoners. He knows she still, as an adult, visibly flinches when she’s approached harshly yet manhandles her when he wants to keep her locked up. 

There’s something possessive about this Valjean that ties in to how Cosette is portrayed as an object. He talks about Cosette as if she was something he needs to keep, says Marius will “rob” her, not because he wants to be a good father or see her happy but because she is his to have. 

This Valjean feels as if Cosette was his attempt to get rid of the guilt he feels for having failed Fantine more so than anything else. She’s less of a person and more an object he needs to keep for himself like a third candlestick. That’s the impression I got of their relationship with his characterization. 

By the time the series ended, I felt upset with Valjean. 

I didn’t care if he died, I didn’t care if he suffered. And that’s pretty shitty for a Les Mis adaptation to prompt. He made me feel uncomfortable, uneasy, as if he was the last person I would trust to take care of a young girl. And whatever internal journey he was going on wasn’t developed well enough to understand any of these choices. 

I don’t know, like I said, I’m not an expert of the subject of Jean Valjean, but I’m pretty sure this is not how you adapt him. 

Problem #3: Diversity without optics

This show hadn’t even started and it was already patting itself on the back for being diverse. 

Now, if you haven’t been in the world of Les Mis for too long, let me tell you there are a lot of adaptations which are diverse, and not only of the musical. In itself, it wasn’t a pioneer move, but I was nonetheless happy that they were going to pay attention to that. At the end of the day, Les Mis is about society, about oppression, and adaptations of it should represent the diversity of the social landscape of the time and place they’re created in. 

That being said, diversity in a highly political storyline needs to be carefully worked through, because without optics you can make questionable choices. And, you guessed it, questionable choices were made here. 

I can’t and won’t go over all of the issues with this that there are, but I can give a few examples. 

There is, of course, the always present argument of casting Fantine and Cosette white and the majority of the Thénardiers and Éponine as poc. And of casting the majority of Les Amis as white and the majority or most visible part of Patron Minette as poc. People have discussed this at length so I won’t go over that. 

There is also how constantly woc were cast in roles of service, some of which were questionable given the context. Simplice, for example, is cast this way, which I overlooked at the time but as it kept escalating with other characters like Matelote and eventually Toussaint, it grew a bit more complex. 

Toussaint was...a very problematic choice. 

When you present the character of a “housekeeper” in a period series which is meant to represent France in the 1800s, and she is a woman of color, some alarms start ringing. I don’t specialize in French history, but my instincts were proven correct when I checked various sources on dates, after seeing the episode, and I’m quoting wiki for easier access here: 

Slavery was first abolished by the French Republic in 1794, but Napoleon revoked that decree in 1802. In 1815, the Republic abolished the slave trade but the decree did not come into effect until 1826. France re-abolished slavery in her colonies in 1848 with a general and unconditional emancipation.

This series has a weirdly set timeline in comparison to the book but, for all intents and purposes, we’re in the early 1830s at the time she’s first introduced, correct? There was still an unstable situation regarding abolition at the time. The general emancipation hadn’t been yet stated in the colonies and the decree had just been starting to hold effect. 

I know this show is casting in a general way as a suspension of disbelief of some historical facts and I’m all for diversity in casting in period dramas, regardless of anything else, if it’s allowing for representation in media. 

But, at the same time, you need to be careful with your optics. She could have been cast as anyone else.

I don’t wanna go over this a lot because I don’t know enough about these parts of French history nor is it my story to tell, but the problem is in the erasure of conflicts or racism altogether as a way to prompt a shallow sense of diversity in a story that is directly linked with the subject of oppression. 

Let’s continue with another similar optics problem involving “diversity” to exemplify this issue further, so that I can clarify. 

This barricade had women on it and didn’t have Combeferre. 

Now, here is the thing about that. In the barricade my man Combeferre gives an amazing speech about women and children. 

In case you weren’t aware, the 1800s were the moment when European women and children barely started to be seen as separate members of society and not only “men but worse” and “men but small”. There are a lot of good articles about that, including one by Martyn Lyons about the new readers of the 19th Century, which changed the course of the editorial market, those being women, children and working class men, who didn’t have access to literature or literacy before that. The idea of childhood as we know it started then, and the later editions of the Grimm fairy tales was one of the first published books of fairy tales explicitly aimed at children’s education. And since a lot of us, in other places of the world that aren’t Europe, were colonized af or barely getting free from colonial governments in the 1800s, we kinda had to go with the flow, regardless of the social structure of native peoples, because colonialism sucks. 

But you all came here for Les Mis so, let’s get back to that. 

As this terrible and summarized dive into history implies, women and children were vulnerable to the fucked up state of social strife. Education was scarce and only accessible to some, employment was scarce and only accessible to some, food was scarce and only accessible to some. Most often than not, “some” did not include women and children. 

In comes the the sun to my moon, Combeferre, with his speech. 

He talks about all of this. Basically he talks to men who are the main providers of families, providers of women and children who depend on them and goes (I’ll paraphrase) “it’s our fault as a society that women can’t be here now, it’s our fault they don’t have the same possibilities and education we do, so at least do them a solid and don’t die today here if they depend on you to live, because the only possibility they have without your support is prostitution”. It was a fucking power move to include that on Les Mis. I mean, the entire book is a call out to the social and political situation, but damn. 

So yes, there aren’t women there but the reason for it is that patriarchy sucks and the consequences would be disastrous for them. 

Davies & co. pretty much didn’t give a shit about this. But, at this point, considering Problem #1, who’s surprised. 

They removed Combeferre, his speech and placed random women on the barricade, as if nothing of that was going on and the patriarchy didn’t exist. Because ~diversity~. 

The fact that they thought more woke to put some random women there on the barricade to die fighting instead of acknowledging the existence of sexism altogether pretty much sums up what this whole show thought diversity was. 

For them, diversity wasn’t a political and social standpoint born from reality, a way to represent the dynamics of oppression that are at stake even on this day, but an aesthetic. 

And, talking about speeches, let’s move on to the next bit. 

Problem #4: Where are the politics?

1. The social and political landscape

Les Mis adaptations have a fluctuating balance with politics and social conflicts. 

That is, at the end of the day, the very core of the existence of this story, the reason why still, to this very day, it is relevant and quoted, adapted and regarded is the fact that we still need it. 

All of us, as human beings living as members of society, are always immersed in political decisions. It’s not only unavoidable, it’s part of our lives as people living together. 

In the same way, the personal narratives of the characters of Les Mis are intrinsically linked to this landscape. They are set in different places of the social spectrum and hold different power dynamics and actions that relate to political standpoints. 

Adaptations tend to work this in very different ways. 

Some focus less on the politics and more on the social strife, with a greater focus on the characters. Others re-insert the characters in other different historical moments with the same levels of social and political strife. Others just copy-paste the situations and put them in another context, without really explaining what revolution it is, what they’re fighting for and why they’re being killed. The focus varies. 

It seems, for how this adaptation starts, with Waterloo and a subsequent argument between Gillenormand and Baron Pontmercy about Napoleon, that politics are going to be important. This doesn’t last very long. 

My biggest issue with the introduction of these circumstances is that they don’t bother on them but then attempt to use them for gratuitous self righteousness. It isn’t that they abandon them altogether, they overlook them but then attempt to use them for shock value. 

There is a constant use of exaggerated, almost cartoon-y, stagings of social depiction: 

- You have Gillenormand dining with his boys, in a luxurious and incredibly flamboyant scenery, while dissing political views in an almost comical fashion 

- You have beggars downright assaulting Valjean and Cosette on the street right outside the convent, as a means of shock to Cosette’s expectations of the world outside of it

- You have Fantine’s entire sequences as a prostitute with higher and higher degrees of abuse 

- You have the streets before the barricades, in some sort of confusing clamor that loses focus in favor of Valjean’s storyline 

- You have a god awful last scene which attempts to say something socially compromising by showcasing the kids Gavroche was helping (I don’t think they’re siblings in this version), as a means to say “the revolution wasn’t successful and social strife will always continue” I guess, I don’t know, because it’s not like they gave a shit about it all before, so this kind of Perrault-ish moral of the story at the end makes no goddamn sense

They are exaggerated snippets of things without context, with very little exposition, that are used more as props to shock than they are to actually take a stand on what the original story is trying to tell. 

Even the reality Fantine has to suffer is blurred by the fact that the social situation isn’t seen as much as a reality in itself but a combination of Fantine’s “choices” and Valjean’s “guilt”. 

But, in order to delve more into the non-political aspect of this adaptation, let’s focus on some specific characters. 

2. Enjolras

Well, I’ve seen a lot of Enjolrai in my life (is that be the plural of Enjolras? yes? no? can it be?). 

Enjolras has very different characterizations, even within fandom itself, but we can all agree that he’s a) highly political, b) highly committed to the cause and c) extremely charismatic. 

And when I say “charismatic” I mean it in the sense that his speeches are so beautifully crafted, so certain and commanding, that you just wanna listen to what he has to say, regardless of your views. They’re political discourse but also very poetic, which is a very interesting literary opposite to Grantaire’s voice, but I digress. 

Still, Enjolras doesn’t stand on his own. 

He represents a part of a whole, an important part, but a part nonetheless. Les Amis are a very diverse mixture of individuals, and the main triumvirate represents different stances on the same political action that coexist together. 

Without others to stand with, Enjolras loses context. Not because he can’t support himself as a character, but because his biggest value is within other people. 

This Enjolras is confusing, angry and loses a lot of steam when most of the people who should be around him aren’t really paying attention. 

Courfeyrac, although performed really well, doesn’t really get a chance to show his political ideas without Enjolras around, and that makes it seem like he’s being convinced to participate rather than doing it for his own reasons and being one key part of the group. 

In the barricade, Enjolras acts as if he doesn’t know what he’s doing half the time, and the other half he doesn’t give a shit about killing soldiers, smiling and laughing while shooting people. 

It isn’t just that the scene with Le Cabuc doesn’t exist, Enjolras doesn’t seem to have empathy, which is all given to Grantaire instead. 

By taking away Enjolras’s vulnerability, his complexity, they make him seem more shallow overall, and in tow, make his cause lose importance. 

And without a clear political standpoint, because his expositions about the situation are very shout-y and unclear, and his speeches are summarized with some actual quotes but without their meaning and true feeling, he seems to be fighting just because, rather than having strong ideals. 

Enjolras in the brick is eloquent enough, humane enough, that you understand what he’s doing and why. This Enjolras is a mess that I couldn’t understand at all. 

I don’t think people who have never seen, read or heard of Les Mis before will understand Enjolras as a character through this. He’s just a very angry student with weird facial hair (why?) who rants in a cafe while his friends are playing games and making jokes, who is friends with some workers and is the leader because he shouts the loudest but doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing. 

And, worst of all, doesn’t seem to care for human life. Which brings me to the next bit...

3. Grantaire

Man, was I excited with this casting choice. 

When I heard Turlough was playing Grantaire, I was delighted. And, at the end of the day, his performance was very good, but for a character who wasn’t quite Grantaire at times. 

I mean, he wasn’t as off as Enjolras, but he was also so erratically written. 

They decided to make Grantaire hesitant rather than a cynic. He didn’t get to express his cynicism or his attachment to his friends (what friends though? only Bossuet had a name other than Courfeyrac and Enjolras) and his involvement with the fight was shown as insecure rather than questioning of ideals. 

He is shown conflicted when he decides to fight with them, he doesn’t have any of his long speeches, the Barrière du Maine scene or anything of the sort. He is just...hesitant about death, I guess. About dying and killing people. That’s his conflict. 

This has, to me, two big problems attached to it. 

First, it’s a simplification of the entirety of Grantaire’s thoughts. It’s taking the cornucopia of drunken philosophy that Grantaire’s voice in the brick represents and replacing it with a single fear, which while very valid doesn’t reflect Grantaire’s true extensive complexities. 

Second, it takes away from Enjolras’s humanity. Enjolras is showcased as an indiscriminate machine of shooting soldiers while Grantaire is conflicted about having to do this and, in tow, makes Enjolras’s rejection of him when he leaves and gets drunk like a jerk move of an insensitive asshole. 

There isn’t a clear instance of Enjolras giving Grantaire a chance to do something before the barricade and Grantaire failing at it, with all the dominoes symbolism and all the stuff it implies. There isn’t a complementary set of complexities between each other. Grantaire seems to care about human life more than Enjolras does in this version, at the end of the day, because Enjolras’s speeches, even if carrying canon quotes, are inserted in a context in which he laughs while shooting people, knowingly sends Gavroche into danger and chastises Grantaire for being conflicted about human lives at stake.  

So, instead of representing Grantaire’s true complexity as a character, they chose to give him something else that they think makes him more dimensional, when, in reality, takes away from his (and Enjolras’s) worth as a character. 

All of this is very weirdly intersected with drunken jokes. Sometimes, the jokes and the behavior pays off and is inserted in good moments, sometimes they just don’t know when to stop and they kind of ruin their death scene with them, which is even worse considering it’s one of the few where they’re actually holding hands. 

Overall, I think this was a simplification of Grantaire, in a way, a simplification which falls apart without a solid context to exist in. And it’s a pity, because Turlough was good. 

4. Gavroche 

The only reason I’d want an immediate new adaptation of Les Mis is so we can cast this same Gavroche in a decent one. He’s one of the best Gavroches I’ve ever seen, hands down. 

In this case, the problem isn’t with his interpretation or how he was written, necessarily, and all time frame and socio-political simplifications aside, the problem is in how the context reacts to him. 

A lot of Gavroche’s agency is deleted in this version. 

For starters, his age is kind of all over the place at the beginning. He’s fine by the time of the barricade, but before it’s kind of a mess. As a result, he lives with his parents for a bit longer than necessary and the few times we see him on his own, being his independent self, are in conflict with how his involvement in the main events come to happen. 

It feels as if he’s been used in the barricade. When he’s off to find bullets, only Marius tries to get him back to safety, while the rest cheer him and laugh. 

His character is well performed and we get to see his personality and his situation when he’s allowed to act on his own, but within the context he’s inserted in, he seems more like a prop than a character. 

This makes it so that when he dies, you’re upset more so than sad. It doesn’t feel like a tragic circumstance born out of a lot of layers of social strife which culminate in a dead end for a kid who deserved a better life. It feels like every adult around him, every person he encounters, either neglects him, mistreats him or sends him into danger. It feels, much like with Fantine, like an easily avoidable situation. 

And things get worse with this guy:

Like I said in my summary, this David Harbour-ish soldier is the one who is shown to mercilessly kill both Gavroche and execute Enjolras and Grantaire. 

This is another layer in the modus operandi of an adaptation who uses social oppression and political strife as shock value rather than commentary and discourse. 

By personalizing “evil” in one stern, mean, unreasonable, power-hungry soldier, they’re villanizing (and trivializing) the social context as a whole. It isn’t about how Gavroche got to that point, how we as a society failed so hard that he has to die in that way. It’s just one bad guy. 

But then, they try to be fake deep about it, by doing that last scene with his brothers or by placing him alongside Mabeuf and Éponine but not explaining what that means, why those juxtapositions are socially relevant and important to the plot (maybe they don’t know why). 

Overall, this was such a waste of a great Gavroche that I just feel really bad. Reece deserved so much better. 

5. The barricade

Needless to say, this barricade was more of a mess than you would have expected. 

The lack of proper introduction to the political landscape, the clumsy exposition, the out of context shout-y speeches and the erratic behavior of its characters, paired together with the fact that it ends about 1/4 into the last episode, giving more time to personal drama than any of what happens in it, makes it one confusing mess. 

It’s also in the barricade where it’s super clear how visually similar this series is to the 2012 movie. A lot of visual choices are extremely similar, even when they didn’t need to be (Fantine’s and Cosette’s hair choices? the shots in the hulks? the scaled down yet very similar camera angles and movements during the entire fight? the color schemes of some particular scenes?), and it’s pretty heightened in this barricade. 

Which I wouldn’t care about hadn’t they talked crap about the movie during their entire PR campaign. 

Like I said, there were so many issues within the people involved in the barricade. With the women, with the characters, with the soldiers. There was also a very strangely set line between workers and students that they were very clumsy about setting yet didn’t get to do much aside from having the leader of the working class men leave when Enjolras prompted it. 

By the way, Enjolras was a lot less convinced about the whole ordeal in this version, which made his characterization even more confusing. 

The barricade had a lot of messed up ingredients and not enough time to even simmer. At least the musical, which doesn’t have a lot of time dedicated to the students either, has Drink With Me, which doesn’t only serve as a way to characterize different students and their beliefs and personalities (“Is your life just one more lie?”) but also brings some melancholic change of pace, a pause between the action. 

The highlight of this barricade, though, is Marius going apeshit with the torch. 

But, all in all, there’s no much we can expect from a barricade born of confused ideas and even more confusing characterizations. This barricade feels less like a climax and more like a thing they had to do because it was in the book. 

And don’t even make me talk about how they butchered my favorite speech. I’d rather not have it there at all, tbh. 

Conclusion: A writer’s ego

We arrive to the end of this long and boring trip through my thoughts. If you’re reached this point, thank you for your time. 

All in all, I feel like a lot of the issues of this adaptation stem from the fact that Davies thinks he’s better than everyone else and other men around him agree so much that they let him do as he pleases, without questioning anything. 

I can’t really understand how you’re going through the script of this and see some of these choices (like the dress shop scene, the carriage scene and let’s not even mention the peeing in the park scene) and you go, and I’m quoting Shankland here:

“Andrew’s scripts made these characters feel modern. That was nothing to do with having them speak in a very modern way or changing their behaviour, he just found the humanity and earthiness of it,” Shankland says, recalling a scene in which Fantine and her companions urinate in a Paris park. “I thought, ‘Oh god, they’re going to pee in Les Misérables, that’s exciting.’” Source

That just sums it all up, doesn’t it? 

After I watched this, I let some time pass. I watched all 3 fanmade adaptations that are currently out at this moment (back to back), revisited some of the ones I had seen before, read fics, read people’s articles and rants, looked into other adaptations on stage, from the classic ones to the more interpretative versions, and other current tv adaptations being done in other countries. 

All of those things are vastly different. Some are more similar to each other, some are widely different, but they’re all different points of view on the same canon. 

This is a canon that has some of the wildest possible interpretations coexisting. You can have a play centered on one specific character told through the songs of a specific album, a tv drama in modern times with a lawyer Valjean, a coffee shop au starring Les Amis, a parody comedy set in 1832, all happening at the same exact time. 

And that’s great. That’s fascinating. That means this book is still alive because we need it still today. 

Some days you’re in the mood for a heavily political adaptation which gives you goosebumps for setting canon in a context that is closer to your everyday reality, other days you just want all the Amis to live and have movie marathons cuddled together. It’s all valid. 

But what all of those adaptations have in common is that they aren’t trying to be more than they are. They aren’t acting brand new, they aren’t pretending they’re re-inventing the wheel or that they are smarter than Victor Hugo himself because what Hugo didn’t know he needed in the “psychology of the book” was a soulmate au or a documentary series. 

This adaptation, through what they said and how it was written, acted as if it was going to be the ultimate Les Mis adaptation to end them all. It presented itself as smarter than us all, as holding the keys to the meaning of Victor Hugo’s thoughts, as being able to fix his “mistakes”, fix other adaptation’s “mistakes” and deliver the best interpretation of canon possible. 

And it managed to be a sexist, socially insensitive, problematic, un-political, homophobic mess. 

Which, is a problem in itself, but even more so when the canon you’re adapting should be, first and foremost, against all that. It isn’t about how many brick quotes you use, it’s about channeling the soul of the story. 

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #151 & #152

Wed Jul 31 2019 [12:19 AM] Wack'd: Lookin' good!

[12:20 AM] Wack'd: They'll buy some suits and then go out for pizza [12:20 AM] Wack'd: Unfortunately the Baxter Building is under attack [12:20 AM] Wack'd: Bye, suits [12:21 AM] Wack'd: *takes a deep, deep, DEEP breath*

[12:21 AM] Wack'd: this is gonna hurt [12:22 AM] maxwellelvis: Hey, @Bocaj , your buddy's back [12:22 AM] maxwellelvis: He came back in Captain Marvel's most recent series. [12:23 AM] maxwellelvis: The one that put her on Earth to make her more relatable, and then immediately flung her into a Bad Future [12:23 AM] Wack'd: Alright we're doin' this

[12:24 AM] Wack'd: Sure

[12:25 AM] Wack'd: Sick burn by Medusa

[12:25 AM] Wack'd: Also Thundra's shtickiness is wearing off even more now [12:26 AM] Wack'd: Character development is fine but I feel like we didn't get a ton of mileage out of the original concept [12:26 AM] Wack'd: Also: fuck men, for real [12:27 AM] Wack'd: Sue's not a permanent member of the team again just yet, looks like. But I'm glad that, if nothing else, there's some dim recollection that this was all about her being treated with respect

[12:28 AM] Wack'd: Fight fight fight [12:28 AM] Wack'd: Reed, Johnny, and Ben are all down for the count [12:28 AM] Wack'd: This is gonna be a Grrl Power issue, isn't it [12:28 AM] maxwellelvis: yip [12:28 AM] Wack'd: Oh, no, okay. Next one. Cliffhanger.

[12:34 AM] Wack'd: Is it just me or is the credits box getting smaller and smaller every issue [12:34 AM] Wack'd: While Stan Lee's name remains the same size [12:36 AM] Wack'd: So Thundra and...*sigh*...Mahkizmo start to fight but Mahkizmo uses the opportunity to teleport them both to his reality [12:37 AM] Wack'd: Really. Are you really leaving her behind again. Christ.

[12:38 AM] Wack'd: Oh, okay, she's staying behind to man the return switch. At least this is the "we're pretending that you still have something useful to do" variety and not the "you need to stay home with the kid" variety [12:38 AM] Wack'd: Whatever the fuck that's worth [12:39 AM] Wack'd: CLIMATE CHANGE

[12:39 AM] maxwellelvis: Super Kami Guru’s Response To Global Warming [12:40 AM] Wack'd: Gerry Conway says: "It's not abuse unless it's physical!"

[12:40 AM] Wack'd: fight fight fight [12:41 AM] Wack'd: FEMALE EMPOWERMENT

[12:42 AM] Wack'd: FEMALE EMPOWERMENT

[12:43 AM] Wack'd: FEMALE EMPOWERMENT

[12:44 AM] Wack'd: So this is the note that we leave Gerry Conway on

[12:44 AM] Wack'd: It's a cliffhanger [12:45 AM] Wack'd: It's a fitting end for this sickening piece of shit [12:45 AM] Wack'd: This festering bag of garbage disguised as a human being [12:45 AM] Wack'd: Even when he's trying to be feminist he can't even stick the landing and mostly dawdles around showing women being abused [12:46 AM] Wack'd: He definitely has some entertaining stories but they're not good enough to justify the grotesque mass that is his politics [12:48 AM] Wack'd: Oh good! We're entering a tumultuous period that's going to give us work by Len Wein [12:48 AM] Wack'd: Clearly from here things can only get better [12:50 AM] Wack'd: We're gonna stop here. But 1975 is definitely something I'm gonna try and barrel through as quick as possible [12:50 AM] Wack'd: It'll be difficult with four Giant-Size, but I'm determined [03:36 AM] Wack'd: I'll say this, Conway at least seems kinda contrite about the way his *Four* run went [x] [03:37 AM] Wack'd: (He does confirm he didn't really like the Sue divorce stuff and did his best with it which explains a lot) [03:37 AM] Wack'd: (As does the fact that he was younger than I am now) [03:38 AM] maxwellelvis: That explains... a lot. [03:38 AM] maxwellelvis: He was like a KID or something when he started writing comics in the big leagues. [03:38 AM] Wack'd: Yeah he was 22-23. 22 specifically when he killed Gwen Stacy [03:39 AM] maxwellelvis: Suddenly this all makes sense, suddenly I have clarity, insight even. [03:40 AM] maxwellelvis: And this was at the same time he invented Red Sonja, and now everything about THAT makes sense too. [03:40 AM] Wack'd: So I looked up Sonja and it's...less bad than the sort of cultural memory of it? [03:40 AM] Wack'd: Still not great [03:41 AM] Wack'd: She gets raped, and a goddess gives her superpowers that she will lose unless anyone she fucks beats her in combat first, which--*yikes* [03:41 AM] maxwellelvis: I still find Sonja a little less interesting than the actual Robert E. Howard character she's named for [03:41 AM] maxwellelvis: THAT's what I was going for. [03:42 AM] maxwellelvis: "Red" Sonya of Rogatino, who I've mentioned before [03:42 AM] maxwellelvis: As you can see here, the literary Sonya is a very different person from Sonja [03:43 AM] maxwellelvis: I think about the only similarities are both are women with red hair and skill with a blade. [03:44 AM] Wack'd: I'm not, like. Forgiving Conway or anything. He still wrote really shitty stuff, the only difference being that he had a far bigger outlet than most of the shitty 20-somethings of the world [03:44 AM] Wack'd: I just...hope he grew out of it [03:45 AM] maxwellelvis: I'm not forgiving him either, I'm just saying I get it now. [03:45 AM] maxwellelvis: Of COURSE a dumb kid would just re-shift the entire relationship of a character like that, several times. [03:46 AM] maxwellelvis: Of COURSE a guy just out of that last burst of adolescence would invent a warrior woman who only sleeps with those who can beat her. [03:47 AM] Wack'd: Uhh that was Roy Thomas, actually. So like [03:47 AM] Wack'd: Side-eyein' him a bit now too, definitely [03:47 AM] Wack'd: Anyway he went on to create Power Girl and Vixen so like [03:48 AM] Wack'd: This is what happens when you're given everything you wanted at age 22 and it works out great for you [03:48 AM] Wack'd: No incentive to change [03:49 AM] maxwellelvis: Certainly not when you've got a horny old horror comics illustrator drawing for you (Power Girl) [03:50 AM] Wack'd: Dude got to write Superman vs. The Amazing Spider-Man at age 26 [03:50 AM] Wack'd: Like. Why would you do anything differently? [03:50 AM] maxwellelvis: So THAT'S what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he ever wanted. [03:50 AM] Wack'd: He continues to be a shitheel with no repercussions! [03:51 AM] maxwellelvis: Exactly, he lived happily ever after [03:51 AM] Wack'd: Christ [03:51 AM] maxwellelvis: I had to say it. [03:51 AM] Wack'd: I'll just say I'm very happy no one ever saw the shit I did as a teenager/college student [03:51 AM] Wack'd: And leave it at that [03:52 AM] maxwellelvis: I know I produced a lot of stuff I don't want the world seeing.

[greyias]

Would you consider Grey a Mary Sue? Considering she is in love with a canon character, a powerful figure in a rebellious to overruling group, etc.?

By that logic, any person who plays a female Outlander in the game and takes full advantage of the story options presented would fall under that umbrella term.

So the short answer is: no. I don’t consider her one.

Partially because I’ve come to loathe that term and now reject it entirely, as it’s more or less become a way to try and police female characters into mediocrity (whether they are canon characters like Rey, quasi-canon characters like our Outlanders/player characters, or female fan characters made from the ground up). But also… if we’re looking at this through the lens of that definition, she exists within the media that she emerged from. I did not create her. I made pre-written choices within a video game, and then chose to write about and expand on the character that resulted from that.

I’ve never even really considered her wholly mine, because a great deal of her personality and background is defined within the game. The main aspects of her character that would be considered “Sueish” (becoming the commander of a rebel cell, the ability to fall in love with a NPC, the fact that bizarrely half the galaxy has a crush on her i really wish they’d stop that it’s getting ridiculous) were writing decisions made by the devs at Bioware Austin. They made a deliberate choice when they were drafting the game up from the very beginning to make all of the player characters important and “cool” and galactic heroes/villains for the purpose of immersion and player satisfaction. They specifically wanted to make anyone playing the game feel like their characters were important to the universe. I’m paraphrasing from an article I read a long while back, and sadly I’ve lost the link through the annals of time.

There’s a lot of think pieces you can find both on and off of Tumblr that discuss the merits of the term, and if someone who exists in canon can be considered one. They’ll talk about how it is and isn’t an inherently sexist term, and so on and so forth. Exploring the concept of why flatly written characters annoy people so badly is an interesting, and often written about subject.

Personally, I don’t use it anymore. It’s no longer a helpful writing tool nor term to throw into critique, because it’s morphed from it’s original meaning and into a way to say “I don’t like this but I don’t have the words to express why but I know writers find this term hurtful so I will use it.” It’s an impossible goalpost to reach, and any author who bends over backwards to try and make sure they never tick off anything that might ever be considered “Sueish” are likely going to stop writing, because it’s no longer fun or entertaining.

There was a very, very excellent post that crossed my dash some time ago regarding the term “Mary Sue” being bandied about, that I started reading with great skepticism and a raised eyebrow, and by the end I was nodding along and going “Yeah. This is exactly spot on. This term had a purpose when it was originally coined and can be used as a useful starting point for beginning writers, but the way it’s used now… this term needs to die.”

I honestly wished I had saved or reblogged it, because I have completely lost said post, and can’t find a link to it. So instead here are a few links to posts that express some similar sentiments:

https://floverload.tumblr.com/post/165579292099/hey-uh-about-the-mary-sue-post-whats-wrong-with

http://jimintomystery.tumblr.com/post/135985180326/personally-i-have-a-narrow-definition-of-a-mary

http://tropesaretools.tumblr.com/post/170767908759/i-just-read-the-thing-about-politics-and-mary

https://tel-abelas-mofo.tumblr.com/post/163374047768/i-think-that-what-bothers-me-about-it-is-that

http://airagorncharda.tumblr.com/post/164040436906/the-mary-sue-and-internalized-misogyny

http://howtofightwrite.tumblr.com/post/155415269800/how-do-i-write-a-female-character-that-doesnt

https://all-is-for-all.tumblr.com/post/169854400717/there-are-valid-criticisms-of-the-force-awakens

http://colubrina.tumblr.com/post/175574362956/so-my-writing-has-come-to-a-firm-halt-after-a

http://fozmeadows.tumblr.com/post/151220825396/a-note-on-wish-fulfilment

The real question I would ask back is: does someone enjoy reading about this character? Do they feel a sense of kinship with her? Do they like her or want to see her succeed? Or do they roll their eyes and press the back button on their browser because something about her is off-putting.

If it’s the latter, well, that’s a perfectly valid choice. Everyone has different reading preferences, what entertains and excites one reader can turn another off. Ultimately, the issue that originally led to the term “Mary Sue” being coined was reader frustration with a character they couldn’t connect to or that distracted from what they actually wanted to read about.

Obviously I personally like her, and love her to death for all of her flaws, foibles, and everything in between. I’ll probably continue to write about her no matter what score she pulls up on one of those arbitrary litmus tests, because the reason that I write is to be able to read the stories I want to see. To explore things in fiction that I can’t in the real world. And if my source material made her a little bit overpowered/loved/etc, well, hopefully I as an author can still write a compelling character that others want to read about. If not, well, at least I as a reader of what I write will still enjoy it.